Chapter 1: Red Trailer- Blood Born Red (Ruby 1)
Summary:
Ruby Rose visits some of her kids. Then back to the house- theres cookies!
Chapter Text
“Hey you, you’re finally awake.” Ruby stared down at her child. She was a good one, strong and skilled in all the weapons she chose to wield. The fact that it was not a gun or sword or even what one would call a weapon was irrelevant. As one of her eldest had shown- music could be just as devastating as anything she’d named. “Got caught trying to cross the border. Like that thief over there.”
Said thief said nothing. None of them could. Not really. Not in the face of the Thing that created them.
Not God.
Never God. She refused to be like Ebrietas or Oedon. Like Mergo or Kos. The Nightmare she’d escaped from, ascended from , had shown her more than just violence and danger. It had shown her the problems the Gods had. Those things that were here and yet not.
Just like she was.
She would not bow to that. She hunted. She was not the prey. Even to things such as ‘instincts’. Such was why she was Ruby Rose, now, instead of the Good Hunter.
Frankly speaking it was pretty awesome having a name that was conventionally pronounceable. Saved so much time. Seriously.
“You are on Mount Nantai. Inkopolis is not long from here. Do not worry about your pursuers, they have been removed.” That her children would craft children of their own… was not expected. Because, seriously, who the fuck expects what are basically hair clippings to gain fucking sentience .
What the fuck.
She is a horrific abomination outside of conventional reality, learned in arcane secrets, and she still has no fucking clue. Seriously.
“My thanks to you for the boon, Grand Harpooner.” That… was a new one. When did they come up with that? Had she… ever harpooned anything? There were some Grimm out in the oceans that might be neat to spear. Hmm… might need to take some time and head over to Menagerie for that.
Oh, she left. Ruby shook her head, ink hair shifting around her head in a way that made most uncomfortable, and looked upward. Marina Ida would be fine. She was strong, swift, and intelligent. She would do well in Inkopolis. There were other matters to attend to, ones more important than dealing with Octavio finally, finally failing in his hunt.
The sun shone bright and Ruby blinked. A headstone rested in front of her, the final remnant of Summer Rose’s life. She was… a good mother. So far as Ruby could determine. Which… well, the most notable ‘moms’ she remembered were Queen Annalise and Mergo’s Wet Nurse. So.
Maaaybe not the best to compare to.
Whatever.
More important things.
Yang said she’d make cookies and if Ruby didn’t get back soon they'd all be eaten before she got there. Yang said she’d leave some for Ruby, but she never did. Probably because something about a broken promise, any, not just ones made to her, got Ruby a little… riled up. Which, well, resulted in other fun things, but those things weren’t cookies.
And cookies were to be taken seriously.
That was why nobody tried to make raisin cookies on Remnant. Fucking heathens.
“Hm?” Beowolves? At this time of year? At this time of day? Located entirely within the small clearing that was the fastest method back from Summer’s grave? “May I see them?”
They obliged, slinking out of the forest like the shadowy things they were. Crafted by an uncaring God. Or… not crafted as such. Horrific misshapen things that longed for the sweet warmth of a soul. At least they filled one purpose adequately.
Crescent Rose opened silently. The scythe almost shined as Ruby rested the weapon on her shoulder, thinner than anyone would think possible, with a gun to kill Beasts with. Grimm were nothing compared to those. Even a Cleric Beast, so much lesser than the rest, would crush these without thought.
Still, they would serve. It’d been too long since she’d last hunted. A whole… hour, maybe?
Eh. Octavio’s Octarians barely counted anyway.
“Eenie, meenie, miney-” A growl cut into a whimper as Ruby was suddenly in front of a Beowolf- “you.”
Crescent Rose swung down and bisected the thing, bloody petals falling from each half. She swept with the blow, Crescent Rose splitting the ground like water, to impale the second Beowolf as it tried to jump her.
BOOM!
The weapon jerked back as she fired and let go. The Grimm impaled on the end was smacked off with a lazy backhand as its friend was stuck to the ground by Crescent Rose’s tail spike. Evelynn snapped up, the pistol just as powerful and cherished as it had been back in Yharnam, and a single shot ended the Grimm’s struggles.
Long sleeves flapped as Ruby ducked under a claw swipe and turned. The Fist of Gratia crushed the chest of the Beowolf and sent it flopping into its fellows. A kick spun Crescent Rose out of the ground and back into her hands. Another shot removed the top half of a Beowolf that looked to be getting cold feet. Or maybe was just trying to be slightly smarter.
That was a wonderful thing about them. She never had to chase them down once she’d found them.
Fuck Micolash. Seriously.
The group charged, a mass of unnatural black against the forest. Ruby cycled the bolt and fired again. Then kicked Crescent Rose up, cycling the bolt as she did so, and fired backward . The rush forward took the Grimm off guard, a few managing to rear up in an attempt to slash at her, but another shot rang out.
The head of Crescent Rose snapped backward as the rest of the body swung forward. The Grimm fell like wheat, roses fountaining into the air. Ruby spun with the motion, spinning around and around and sending limbs flying as every Grimm that was a bit too close met their end. Eventually she stopped, Crescent Rose clicked back into its usual configuration as she stared at the rest of the Grimm. There were… not a small amount left.
She could have fun with them, but cookies awaited. “I’d best finish you quickly.” The scythe clicked back into its box form and she slung it onto her back. There wasn’t actually a hook there or anything, but for some reason nobody ever questioned it. Still, that wasn’t important. What was important was- “Say woomy!”
The shining crown of the Powder Keg workshop spun in her hand. The gatling gun Djura had absolutely fucking not killed her with fifty fucking times roared as she turned its ravenous maw unto the Grimm.
Yes, that didn’t make much sense. Fuck off. It was cool. If Ruby wanted to be a little bit fancy with her descriptions that was her fucking business.
Whatever. Grimm dead. Move on.
The gatling gun disappeared as if it were never there as Ruby turned toward the house. Rose petals followed in her wake as she Quickened through the forest. There, the door, and beyond… yes. The smell of cookies.
“Yaaaang! You better not have eaten all the cookies!” The door slammed open and shut. The wall looked… definitely a little worn, but if Dad asked she’d just blame Yang. Served her right for all those times she took the last cookie.
The kitchen wasn’t large. Well… maybe Ruby didn’t have the best idea of what a kitchen should look like. Yang fit in it well enough, and she wasn’t exactly… usual size. How that Kanabo, how all that will , had fallen through the worlds to land here Ruby… eh, kinda knew. The Brother Gods had no fucking clue what they were doing and it showed. Hence this sort of thing. The seven foot tall mega-bombshell currently eating her fucking cookies .
“YANG!”
Yang just smirked at her as what looked like the final cookie disappeared into her mouth, an eyebrow bump and a teasing waggle being what she got in return. “Snooze you lose, shortstuff. Should’ve been quicker.”
“I had to deal with the kids fighting again.” Ruby huffed. “And Beowolves. See if I bring you back to Inkopolis anytime soon. Or get you their hair products…” They were surprisingly really good for a race that doesn’t actually have hair.
“You took that long dealing with Beowolves, of all things?” If anything, Yang’s smug aura increased with that information, looking entirely unruffled by the threat Ruby gave her. “Are you backsliding, Rubes? You can tell me, we can have some remedial training.”
Of course, her sister looked far too excited at the idea of training, and it still amazed Ruby that any normal human, or ‘normal’ because Yang is anything but, could keep up with her without any blessing from another Great Old One, or having consumed any of the necessary ritual pieces to do so.
Beating Flora required actions that were maybe a little… completely fucking mad. Which, to be fair, she absolutely was at that point. She still can’t remember if she stabbed a baby or stabbed a pregnant lady that pretended to be a nurse to get that last one. Maybe she did both. Or figured out some other route. It was a long time ago and her memory had… taken maybe a little bit of a hit in the process of becoming an Elder.
“Oh, we could train. I’ll smash you in Turf War all the time if you want, but if you’ve taken my cookies,” space warped and twisted as Ruby brought more of herself into the world, her tentacles sliding in from any angle that wasn’t exactly ninety degrees (actual ninety degree angles were taken by those fucking hounds), “then I’ll have to take my pleasures some other way.”
A deep rumbling laugh escaped Yang as the head of a Golden Dragon formed around her body, the raw excitement of a fight reverberating out of her lungs and into the world as Intent. “Don’t make promises you won’t be able to keep, Ruby.” Her grin shifted, changing from smug teasing to raw, excited aggression.
Their inner Selves clash, sparking against each other in a way that is one part Strength, one part Excitement, and one part Care, care to not damage each other too much. There is a promise of pain, but under that is the promise of recovery.
The both of them take great pain to not go too far. They still liked having a house at the end of the day. And, well, it wasn’t as if they wanted different things, really. Just… maybe in different ways. Ruby wanted to suck on those massive perfect titties, and Yang, despite her stature, could transform into the pillowiest of princesses with the right incentive. It… wasn’t an endless battle so much as something they just kinda kept fucking into.
Normal people might find issues with it. Even setting aside the fact that Ruby isn’t quite sure Taiyang is her actual dad (genetics are complicated even if you can see them), she isn’t human. She was, in fact, a human before and then became a squid raised by a living doll. So… sister was… not really a term Yang got. Ever. It’d caused some issues before, but things had smoothed out over time.
As it was- “I can certainly keep this promise.” The bed… was another story. Maybe this time she’d manage to fuck Yang hard enough to get her to lactate.
Oh the thought of Yang being ready for all of that was just- Her tentacles curled forward to, gently, grab Yang’s limbs. Her legs first, obviously, but on moving her arms another prize is revealed to Ruby’s sight.
“Cookies!” The world twisted back to normal, the tentacles disappeared, and Ruby bit into a chocolate chip cookie.
All was right with the world.
“Thanks, Yang!” A whole cookie disappeared in Ruby’s maw. “Wanna go splat battling later? I hear there's a lot more people getting into it. Got some serious skills and some interesting strategies.” Because they were military trained and technically illegal immigrants. Not that such a distinction really existed in Inkopolis. She wouldn’t make a world that was as unfriendly to foreigners as Yharnam.
“I don’t mind.” Yang quietly rumbled as her inner Self receded, her arms wrapping around Ruby’s body as the aggression drained from her body to be replaced by a Dragon happy for cuddling. “It could be fun, even if I can’t play the same way the others can.”
Yang, of course, took to Inkopolis like it resembled Nirvana. A place where anyone could carve out their path in the world seemed to delight and strike awe into the Dragon Woman. A small part of Ruby felt concern, as it resembled some of the more Blood-Drunk Hunters, but it passed soon enough as she acclimated.
“And after… I think someone is doing something… interesting with blood over in Atlas. So I’ll need to swing over there for a bit and won’t be home.” Maybe she could kick that asshole Jacques while she was there. He had a very kickable face. And was a racist dickbag. It was always worth kicking a racist dickbag. “So you can head over to… Mistral, right?”
She can feel the return of Yang’s smirk, another quiet rumble rippling from her chest as she hummed. “Yeah. I saw a tournament and thought it’d be a fun time. Wonder if I’ll get kicked out before I can win again. What do you think, Ruby?”
“Probably. Maybe they’ll finally get their shit together and actually check to make sure everyone should actually be able to attend this time.”
The words hung in the air for a moment. Then the both of them started laughing. “Yeah, right. Mistral officials actually checking their paperwork? They’d be giving their bosses too much work. Haaah…” Yang’s laughter tapered off after a moment, as she let out a sigh. “Be fun till I get discovered though.”
Her tail shifted in place, before coiling around Ruby’s leg. Another adorable yet hilarious fact about Yang transforming into the pillowiest of Princesses, was that she could purr. Which she began doing then and there.
“There, there.” Ruby patted Yang’s tail. “I have some time. We can have fun before we both need to head out.”
“I’d like that.” Yang said back softly, clicking her tongue after a moment. “Still, where? Here or over there?” Over there being Inkopolis of course.
“Over there I think. Things are still a little touchy so I’d prefer to stick around a little.” Plus furniture was much less expensive. Dad got… money from somewhere, but it wasn’t a lot. Not enough to replace the bed every time they fucked.
And even if Yang offered to replace it, she didn’t like asking that. Yang’s money should be for Yang things, not for both of them things. Or things Dad was supposed to give them. That was how it worked. You earned money by the sweat of your brow and you used that money however you wanted for yourself.
Or something.
Ruby really didn’t pay attention to economics. The Inkopolis economy just… literally didn’t work. At all. By any real measure of economics. Fortunately Ruby could say fuck the rules, and if someone wanted to earn their money in a blood sport with literally nothing on the line they could do that. It was probably a good thing most CEO’s didn’t actually exist and all money just came back to Ruby eventually. And that Inklings and Octolings were obsessed with purchasing wastefully and extravagantly, because otherwise inflation would be a fuuuuck.
“Hmm. Some training and then some fun?” Yang asked, before standing up and shadowing Ruby’s vision as a consequence. “Sounds good. And we’re using those Ink weapons so I don’t need to bring anything but the clothes on my back. Let’s go!” Despite the bored tone she had up until her final words, the tail wrapped around Ruby’s leg tightening and the gentle yet firm claw grip gave away Yang’s excitement.
Well, more so than the fact she was still purring, of course.
The sun shined brighter and the… something. Somethings. Were on their way.
Chapter 2: White Trailer- White Is Cold and Always Throwing Coins Everywhere (Weiss 1)
Chapter by InternecionWitch
Summary:
Weiss fucks off from the manor. Good for her.
Notes:
Welcome back!
Chapter Text
“Hello world~”
Weiss quietly sung to herself as she adjusted her voice box. She had a screwdriver jammed into it and was turning it wildly in hopes of getting it back in tune. Why the head researchers of the Schnee Dust Company’s R&D division couldn’t make a synthetic voice box that worked for longer than a couple days, at best, was up in the air, although Weiss had a feeling her father had something to do with it. Gods he was an asshole.
“Programmed to work and not to feel~”
Ever since the incident that had fused an experimental maneuverability system onto her spine and necessitated she get her voice and arm replaced, her father had… not taken kindly to her very existence, to put it bluntly.
“Not even sure that this is real~”
Ironwood seemed to hate his more metallic parts for some reason. Which, Weiss guessed, was fair enough; she had her own fair share of issues after becoming almost half metal. But she got over those fairly quickly. Honestly at this point she’d find her voice not having a slight synthetic undertone would be weird.
“Hello world~”
As her voice finally settled into a stable position she slipped the screwdriver through a glyph into the weird not space she found she could store things in. Her sister couldn’t do it, but she hadn’t exactly figured out summoning either. The Schnee family semblance was weird, in that it really shouldn’t exist. And she was kind of doubting it was even a semblance at this point.
And you know, she sort of wasn’t really a Schnee anyway, so weird differences were to be expected. But she had to at least try to stick to the cannon script, even if her own actions had already wildly derailed it. Being turned into a cyborg was worth it though, she wasn’t suited for rapier.
She flexed her wings behind her. They weren’t really wings, on account of the fact they were metal and they didn’t let her fly, but the shape of them resembled wings most so, that's what everyone ended up calling them. Technically they were the Highly Evasive Rotation Maneuverability and Escape System (H.E.R.M.E.S.) but, that was a bit of a mouthful.
Sure, she could fold them down and out of sight. But she was still visibly made of metal so there wasn’t any point. Besides, folding them down like that was incredibly uncomfortable. She wondered if it was the same for faunus, and wasn’t that a weird bit of thing to have in common.
Hesitantly she reached down into a minifridge and pulled out a blood bag. This was why she was starting to doubt her family’s Glyphs were a semblance, because she had seemingly unlocked one of her own. Which meant she was either the first person in recorded history to have two semblances or one of her semblances wasn’t a semblance. Given how weird the Schnee Glyphs were in general, and having knowledge of the fact that magic existed, she had just quietly written them off as some kind of magic.
She was basically under house arrest because her father saw her as a freak and didn’t want her going outside so figuring out the weird situation with her Glyphs wasn’t exactly a high priority.
Hesitantly she opened up the blood bag and started chugging it. ‘Blood Fuel’ let her turn blood, or Grimm Essence into Aura or heal her outright, including her cybernetics. Which meant so long as she could get her hands on blood she didn’t need routine maintenance. She didn’t need to drink it, she could basically absorb it from anywhere on her body. But, drinking it had a higher conversion ratio and unless she wanted to get blood on the floor and probably make a huge mess she would have to drink it.
The blood tasted… Well it wasn’t bad per say. But it was cold, and unlike say cold Pizza (Klein snuck her an entire box occasionally from a little place down in Mantle she had never gotten to go to but absolutely loved) which was pretty good still, it tasted more like a cold well done steak than anything. Still edible, but it just wasn't meant to be consumed like this.
Unfortunately when the people that designed her augments realized they could have her burn more aura than she naturally regenerated they threw the idea of efficiency and sustainability out the window and essentially turned her into a cybernetic vampire.
So here she was, drinking blood, playing nice, and hoping that if she played to her fathers whims long enough he would acquiesce on her request to go to Beacon.
He definitely wouldn’t but until her Mistral bank account was set up to store all her money in she still had to play nice.
“Weiss?” She heard Klein from the other side of the door accompanied by a small knock.
She discarded the now empty blood bag into a biohazard container next to the minifridge. “Come in.” She responded through the massive wooden door. She noticed a couple smears of blood around her mouth from her reflection in the mirror, wiped them with a napkin, and tossed it in the biohazard container with the empty blood bag.
“Terribly sorry to inform you of this on short notice, but well, there's been an incident in one of our remote mines.” Klein informed her. She didn’t really blame him, he was just the messenger, and if they had prior warning there was a Grimm attack she’d have so many more questions.
Her father had made her a deal. If she proved herself then she could attend Beacon. She had taken out the arma gigas in about ten seconds but because that hurt his ego so much her father then immediately moved the goal post to stopping the next Grimm incursion into one of the SDC’s mines, an unfortunately common occurrence due to poor security and the sheer number of them in Solitas alone.
This is why she liked Klein more, when she died everything she owned was going to him. Winter and Whitley (even if she wasn’t close to her brother) had an obscene amount of money themselves; they'd be fine without her inheritance.
“I assume there's a bullhead waiting on the roof?” Weiss inquired. Regardless of how much her father sucked, the sheer logistical system he had assembled was something to respect. It might be the only respectable thing about him if she was being honest.
Klein nodded, “Indeed, do be safe Miss Schnee.” He instructed with a gentle smile.
Weiss ran past him at first, before dashing backward to give him a quick hug. However she was on the clock so she began sprinting top speed through the manor, assisted by the wings on her back and whatever augments the mad scientists had put in her legs to let her slide indefinitely.
When she finally reached the roof she hopped into the bullhead and signaled the pilot to take off. She braced against the sudden movement (her increased mass from her cybernetics making inertia incredibly annoying) as she clung onto a grab bar with one hand. She could easily survive falling out but well, it would be really inconvenient.
Wind rushed through the open doors as they rapidly approached the mine’s location, and little piles of snow gathered inside the bullhead before being swept back out.
She could already see the Grimm pounding down the walls of the mine, on the eastern side there was already a wall down they were trying to pour into, but it also acted as a bit of a funnel into the automated defenses firing rapidly into the crowd in a vain attempt to thin it.
They were only ever meant to last long enough for a proper team to arrive though, and arrive it had. Weiss jumped out of the bullhead and pulled out her rocket launcher. She fired a rocket forward and dashed forward, past it. Damn it, she had practiced that, she had it. Whatever.
She fired another rocket forward and actually managed to land on it this time. It wasn’t sustainable flight, but it would get her to her destination as fast as possible. She angled the rocket down, directly into the hole in the wall swarming with Beowolves and leaped off a few meters above the ground with a backflip.
The rocket continued on the course she rode it toward, landing in the dead center of the massive pack and exploding, taking out the majority and heavily damaging the remaining stragglers. She slammed into the ground with a shockwave knocking the rest up into the air. Like a spring she rebounded up to join them and replaced her rocket launcher with a revolver.
She tossed four coins into the air and shot one at its apex, the bullet ricocheting between coins causing them to rebound into a Beowolf each. That had only taken out half, so on the way down she began charging up a shot. When they reached the ground and the Beowolves understandably charged her she dashed back and fired off the shot, which penetrated through them, finishing them off.
However many Beowolves down, however many Grimm more to go.
Weiss pulled out one of her shotguns and slid out of the breach into a swarm of Grimm. Arriving in front of another Beowolf she inserted the shotgun barrel directly into its mouth and pulled the trigger, ripping it to shreds.
Whatever The God of Darkness made Grimm out of, it was close enough to blood for her semblance to use it. She felt the aura she had expended regenerate. She was a glass cannon that healed when she killed. her defense was her offense, and the feeling was addicting.
An Ursa charged at her from her flank. As it leapt at her she threw her right fist forward, parrying its strike. With it off balance she shot at it with her shotgun, replaced it with another shotgun while the first was reloading, and shot at it again. Her shotgun swapping rapidly fired out buckshot into the Ursa, never giving it so much as a moment.
This is why she wanted three different shotguns. Thanks to the magic reloading properties of whatever hammerspace was behind her glyphs, and the giant crates of ammo she shoved in there last month, ammo just found its way into her guns clips. She was fine with her other four guns being mechashift though.
Replacing the shotgun with a nailgun she fired out a multitude of magnets in a spread around the rest of the horde as she sprayed nails into the Grimm randomly. Once the magnets were in place she pulled out her railcannon and fired off an electric shot into another Ursa.
The electricity surged through the Grimm, then bounced out to the magnets and to the other Grimm, which then bounced back to the magnets in a viscous feedback loop of electric conduction that reduced the Grimm to nothing but smoke.
Her attack had taken out most of the horde but there were still a few stragglers running around the walls. Taking out her shotgun again she fired a shot, and with precise timing, punched the bullets into a distant Beowolf. When the bullet reached its destination it exploded, taking the Ursa with it.
So, with the majority of the threat gone she dashed and slid around the perimeter of the wall, eviscerating any stray Beowolfs she saw. When she had finally looped back around the glanced through the hole in the wall, which was already being repaired by the underpaid faunus workers.
She gave a glance to the mines manager, who gave her a simple thumbs up. She could tell how much he sucked from a distance and so, not wanting to interact with him at all, she rode a rocket back up to the bullhead, which hadn’t even had a chance to land. Leaping off the rocket just as it was beginning to stall she landed back in the cabin.
She glanced back out over the mine from the door, and confirmed there weren't any more Grimm. She shot a gesture to the pilot and despite his visible bafflement at whatever the hell he just witnessed he flew off back to the manor.
As Weiss stepped out of the bullhead she was feeling confident. As much as she could anyway, it would be fun to try and watch her father make up a reason why slaughtering an entire Grimm incursion wasn’t good enough for him.
Heading down the hall to his office gave her a chance to breathe. Between jumping out of a bullhead to now it had been a nonstop adrenaline rush as she turned Grimm into nothing but smoke in a flurry of bullets and explosions
Before she opened the door to her fathers office her scroll pinged with a notification. It was an email informing her that the bank account in Mistral she set up to hold all her money without interference had been cleared and could be used immediately. Good old Mistral banks, they loved to not ask questions beyond what they were legally required to, and even those could be bypassed by throwing enough money at them.
Which meant she could tell her father to fuck off if she needed, or wanted. She probably would anyway no matter what he said if she was being honest.
She opened the grandiose door and stepped inside, where her father was quietly doing paperwork. “Ah Weiss.” He candidly opened. “I see you’re back. Most impressive, although… Do you see where you could have improved?”
He stared at her, his eyes evaluating her very being, like he was trying to put a price tag on her very being. “I believe I’ve exceeded standard expectations by leagues Father.” It was a good non answer at least, but no matter what she said this asshole would never approve.
“Well yes, you were quite efficient in your, slaughter…” He narrowed his eyes and brought his hands together. “But, reviewing the footage of the incident it's clear you could have been faster.”
Ah, that was his complaint. He was right, technically, if she had to do it again she could almost definitely do it faster. But it would have taken an average team, two if it was the idiots the SDC typically hired, to do the same she had in the same amount of time.
“It's clear at this time I just can’t permit you to go to Beacon Academy.” He shook his head condescendingly. This was rigged from the start, she never could have met his imaginary expectations.
Which meant her only option was to tell him to go fuck himself. What a shame.
She pulled her revolver from a glyph and dispensed a coin into her other hand. Shame she couldn’t kill him. Beacon had a bit of a reputation for not asking any questions but murdering an oligarch would probably be a bit much for them to dismiss. She’d need an alibi at least for them to brush it under the rug.
“Here's the new deal father, you let me go to Beacon, and I stop hitting you with this coin.” She threatened.
He looked, outright confused at that. “Why would I be threatened by a coin-” Weiss tossed the coin up in the air and punched it
+FISTFUL OF DOLLAR
The coin impacted his nose directly, breaking it with a cathartic crunch. “Stop that this instant-” he tried to command her
+FISTFUL OF DOLLAR
“Stop that this instant-”
+FISTFUL OF DOLLAR
“Fine fine, I’ll let you go-”
+FISTFUL OF DOLLAR
Oh wait, that was actually what she wanted. With her demands met Weiss let the coin drop out of the air onto the floor. “I’m glad we could come to such an arrangement, Father.”
Jacques picked himself up off the floor, his clothes blood stained and his nose pouring blood which he carefully cradled. “On one condition.”
Weiss dispensed another coin, and he actually whimpered a little at seeing it.
“Just, never come back. You’re cut off, disinherited, and disowned.” He waved her away.
+FISTFUL OF DOLLAR
That last one was just for her own amusement.
“I knew we should have ignored Polendina’s patent for a remote override.” he muttered under his breath from his place back on the floor.
He probably thought being completely cut off was some terrible price to pay, but Weiss was absolutely thrilled. Shame about Klein though. He’d be the only thing she missed about this place. Her and Whitley had never quite gotten along like Klein hoped they could.
Whatever, she already had all her important things stored behind her Glyphs anyway, time to go find a way to Vale.
Chapter 3: Black Trailer - Born in Flames, I Have Been Blessed (Blake 1)
Chapter by CyberQueen_Jolyne
Chapter Text
Born in flames
I have been blessed
My family crest is-
…
A cat.
Dammit. The poetry didn’t work out that way, did it?
Blake sighed, snapping her book of melodramatic, half-written emo poetry shut and tucking it into the pocket of her coat. The wind whipped through her hair as she stood atop a cliff in the Forever Fall, crimson leaves whipping by like a blood stained blizzard. Her coat fluttered against her legs, inky black and standing out as a slash of stark night against the red colored day.
Note to self: Get better at writing dramatic emo poetry.
Second note to self-
“Blake. It’s time.”
-Follow the plan.
All the way to its inevitable conclusion.
Blake took a deep breath, doing one last check of Gambol Shroud to ensure its combat readiness. Her Aura pulsed through her weapon, filling every inch and crevice with the power of her soul. It almost twisted the metal into new form, pulling upon the structure ever so slightly… but she tamped down that part of her power.
Adam didn’t deserve to see it anyway. Not when this would be the last time she’d ever see him.
His plan was simple. Hers, even simpler.
His plan was to jump aboard a freight train carrying a shipment of Atlesian goods from the northernmost ports of Sanus to Vale proper, kill any crew on board, destroy all opposition, and untether as much product as he could from said train in order to help the White Fang’s cause. Most of those goods were from the Schnee Dust Company- Dust, of course. Lots and lots of Dust. Train cars full of it. Stacked two tall with shipping containers, and at least six to seven cars dedicated entirely to Dust. Each one stamped with the familiar white logo of the SDC. Among the lower cars were the other byproducts of the Schnee monopoly. Mechashift parts. Fully built weapons. Raw material stock. Electronics. Scrolls. Ammunition. Even an entire train car dedicated to moving around SDC funds in the form of raw cash. The higher cars, though… Atlesian military drones. AK-130s, mostly, with some experimental tech. An important train, no matter how one decided to cut the cars.
Her plan was to let things play out as they naturally would until the end. And after that…
Red on the tracks.
What color was freedom?
Who knew.
All Blake knew was that she was tired of wearing this awful mask, tired of dealing with Adam’s advances, tired of existing under the purview of the White Fang. The memories and urges and instincts that came with her second set of abilities told her that there was a better life ahead of her, and that all she had to do was fight for it. Kill one person at the right time and vanish into thin air, as if she’d never existed at all.
The scenery around them whooshed past in streaks like blood as they ran, and Blake could only really think about how fitting it was that her supposed dear love would vanish into the forest- stained red exactly like the forest floor, body splattered and used to feed carrion birds and scavengers for days to come.
Was it wrong of her to feel nothing but elation at the thought of killing her boss?
… Well. According to social media on the CCT, that was a pretty normal compulsion.
Either way, she kept her eyes on the crest stretching across the back of Adam’s jacket, eyes forward and locked upon her goal. For a moment, her eyes slid down and to the left instead, narrowing slightly at the sight of Adam’s most prized possession hanging at his waist.
Wilt and Blush. A combination paired weapon- one, a crimson red straight bladed katana of very little remarkability. Sure, it was a striking color and made for a viciously bright presentation, but it was just a sword. The other… slightly more interesting. Blush was a short rifle, one where the stock and internal mechanics were fitted in such a way that it could stretch out into a sheath for Wilt, where the barrel had been carefully shaped to not lose ballistic performance despite also being made to house an entire katana within.
It was a deceptively simple looking piece hiding delicate mechashift technology within. Blake sometimes found it hard to believe that Adam had the creativity to make something like that. Then again, he never said where he got his blade from, and most people who did make their weapons actually liked talking about how they maintained, built, and tweaked their weapon over time. Blake certainly did with Gambol Shroud. Always reinforcing, upgrading, replacing parts…
But it wasn’t important.
All of that was meaningless fluff to fill the silence while they ran through the forest, dodging trees and falling leaves, avoiding known Grimm sites in favor of stealthily approaching the train and the calculated rendezvous points.
There were three points, each with teams lying in wait far down the tracks from where she’d make her escape, and there were three points where they’d detach the train cars as they went along. Point A, B, and C, obviously. Each one was spaced apart such that the momentum of the decoupled train cars, when taken with their rough mass and a few physics calculations from someone that definitely put more effort into that kind of thing than she did, would carry said cars straight to those points with ease. Give or take a few hundred meters.
These thoughts filled Blake’s mind as she and Adam flung themselves over yet another cliff, sliding down the leaf covered slope dramatically before leaping onto the train itself- Adam landing with a dramatic thump and having to dig Wilt into the top of the container they’d landed on, and Blake simply alighting with the barest tap of her heels touching bare metal. Precise, perfect, just enough to show up Adam in a show of blatant superiority.
How had he never once caught on that every time she outdid him, it was on purpose to drive his ego ever further towards self destruction? Then again, he did basically only see her as a tool for his convenience, whether that be as a weapon or a target of his… affections.
Note to self: Send Ilia the address of a safehouse she’d set up in Vale.
Double note to self: Make sure Ilia gets the account number for her own personal, non-White Fang affiliated Mistrali bank account.
Triple note to self…
“Intruders. Identify yourselves.”
Find whatever dipshit loaded this train and beat the fuck out of them for changing the loading order last minute.
Bastards put the AK-130s in the back half of the train too!? Fuck, that meant they actually spread their guard force instead of keeping it concentrated to the front half where the human crew was!
“Looks like we’re doing this the hard way,” Edgy Edgelord McEdge edged edgily as he edgily grabbed his edgy katana from its edgy sheath and edged even edgilier at the AK-130s that were about to shoot him full of edgy holes.
“You’re so dramatic,” Blake sighed… and while she wished she could have said that an epic fight scene ensued, really it was mostly Adam doing everything while she occasionally cut down one or two of the somewhat outdated and yet full of live ammo AK-130s on the side. Play up his stupid ego at this juncture, make him think he’s hot shit, and then he’ll never see it coming when she steals his sword and flings him under the wheels.
Still, she hummed to herself while putting in roughly the bare minimum effort to make it look like she was trying against these half-cocked tin bots with about as much combat potential as a particularly spirited eleven year old with a generic gunsword pulled straight off a generic weapons catalogue. That might have been unfair, those eleven year olds could be downright vicious.
“From shaaaadooooows weeeee’ll descend upon the world, take back what you stole~” Blake murmured softly, bobbing her head to the sound of an ephemeral beat whilst throwing out half-baked slashes with Gambol Shroud. Each slice still parted Atlesian steel like paper, though, shearing the AK-130s in her path in twain right at the most critical junctures- specifically, the parts where it’d be easy enough to weld them back together, where no important components would be lost servicing the downed bots.
Adam, of course, was by no means anywhere near as precise with his cuts. He just saw an enemy in his path, and worked to destroy it without a second thought as to what was actually important. Like spare parts for camp defenses, workable guns, electronics. Repurposable circuit chips. The fact that he hadn’t run them into the ground yet was a miracle explainable only by the fact that Blake had pushed for their branch of the White Fang to have its own logistics division instead of just handling everything like a cult ruled by a single dictator. Hence, the multi-stage robbery that allowed them to steal far more due to spreading out the load instead of gathering everyone at one spot. Or just killing the crew and trying to divert the train onto unused, old lines leading almost directly to their home base.
It wasn’t really a fight. It was… Adam burning energy, showing off to try and seem impressive while Blake finished off the stragglers behind. She wondered, idly, if Adam ever questioned why she never seemed to be at all in distress during fights. Maybe he just thought she was quiet and reserved and trying to act cool while he tunnel visioned on his own perceived charisma. Maybe he thought he was just so good at fighting that she didn’t need to worry, that she could just waltz on through while he took on all the biggest and scariest threats.
She wondered, idly, if he’d ever actually checked how many enemies she’d cut as opposed to him. He spent so much effort trying to use all of his arsenal at once, never once thinking that maybe just a few swift hits were good enough instead of all those needless acrobatics. Their usual enemies were just the Atlesian military’s tin soldiers, after all. Most of their fighting force wasn’t much without their gunships and overwhelming numbers. In a case like this, saving one’s energy was better.
AK-130s were hardly the same threat level as an equivalent amount of Ursai, after all. Even a few larger Beowolves could match these junk heaps. Well. Then again, the blade arms were impressively intimidating.
Blake sighed, sheathing Gambol Shroud once they decoupled the car and moved on- forward towards the rest of the loads they were about to steal. Honestly, this entire mission was… boring? Mostly boring so far. No human soldiers, no enemies she’d have to actually worry about not killing wantonly while Adam did his best to vent all of his anger and frustration at once.
Oh.
Spider droid.
Hm.
That could be a problem.
…
Blake snickered ever so quietly to herself when Adam told her to buy him some time after they both got ejected out onto one of the flat cars carrying what looked like… assorted small crates. But was mostly empty.
… Did someone deliberately set up this specific train car to be a battle arena in case someone tried to hijack the train?
… Gods, maybe.
“I said buy me some time!” Adam shouted, repeating himself whilst holding down Wilt and Blush in an Iaido stance. The spider droid, ahead of them, loomed large and menacing- bearing down on both Adam and Blake like a harbinger of doom. Huh. So this was where the Atlesian military had been spending its lien.
Not a particularly useful thing, was it? Slow, heavy, inaccurate… definitely a prototype. So many exposed joints, too…
Blake snorted. “I’ll handle it. You go to the next car for once.”
“Are you backtalking me?”
“I have for the last five years, thanks for noticing,” Blake rolled her eyes, unsheathing Gambol Shroud and flaring the second bit of her powers that she’d never told Adam about. Purple flames danced along the blade, reinforcing it far more than her Aura ever could, sharpening the blade from nearly monomolecular to infinitesimally thin- sharp enough to cleave through spacetime itself if she wanted. “Just go.”
“This isn’t over,” Adam snarled, and instead of pushing the issue, he dashed backwards, giving Blake just enough time to flare with purple light.
Only two words needed to be said to end it. Only two words needed to be said to express her power. Gambol Shroud fell to her waist, copying Adam’s Iaido stance. Power built up further, further, further…
And then…
“Slay all.”
The silence cut the world. The Spider drone dissipated into naught but smoke and a handful of crystallized red orbs.
Blake sighed, tucking away her prize for destroying the spider droid, hopping to the next train car to decouple it from the main mass.
And then…
Blake paused, taking a deep breath when they stopped at the final car, standing in just such a way that would block Adam from decoupling it with his blade. She tuned him out, taking stock of his Aura level with her scroll. She was nearly full… and he was a little over half.
“Get out of the way, we’re wasting time. Are you seriously spacing out now!?”
“Just… thinking,” Blake responded quietly, stepping aside to Adam’s left. In his haste to reprimand her, he’d let go of Wilt and Blush to cross his arms. A single bit of sleight of hand was all it took to unhook Blush from Adam’s belt, and it was another twist of her fingers to flick it into her free hand so he wouldn’t see it behind the folds and sleeve of her coat. “About this. About the White Fang. About… us.”
Adam snorted. “Don’t you think this is an odd time to make a declaration of love? We’re in the middle of a mission, Blake. Train cars to decouple, charges to plant. Our window is closing.”
“I know. Just…” Blake tilted her head, flicking Blush in such a way that she could release Wilt from the barrel and draw. A single movement faster than Adam could see caused blade to clear sheath, and within the barest of a fraction, she held steel to neck and stared the man who would doom their cause directly in his unmasked eyes.
Clack.
Porcelain smashed beneath the train wheels- a barely imperceptible bump in the journey.
“What is this…?” Adam hissed, barely able to flinch back from his own weapon being held to his neck. “What are you doing!?”
“Saying goodbye. The White Fang isn’t where my destiny lies… and you aren’t the person who deserves to lead it anyway.” Blake answered coolly, impassive in the way that she burned Adam’s aura out of Wilt and Blush with her own magic, turning the crimson blade into a blazing violet with a mere flex of will. “No more hiding who I am from you. No more pretending to be weak to make you feel strong. No more pretending even the barest amount of interest in you so you wouldn’t prey on anyone easier to manipulate. I’d say it’s been fun, Adam… but I hate this life. I hate what you’ve done to our cause. And I hate you. Goodbye.”
A single swipe of her blade severed Adam’s arms and legs in a flare of glinting steel, decoupling the car in the same motion.
He didn’t even have time to scream before he went under the wheels and was summarily rendered into a red paste staining the track.
Blake sighed, turning away and hopping onto the roof of the next car.
Goodbye to her old life.
She looked forward instead, towards her new life. She felt so immeasurably young and old at the same time, wondering just how much of her was still Blake Belladonna and how much was the demon that had bonded to her very soul, how much was the strange and contradictory memories that came with that bonding.
She shook her head, deciding to settle in for a long ride to Vale- BRANCH!
SMACK!
“Weh!”
… Ow.
Thank the gods no one was around to see that.
No one except the crows, at least.
Ugh.
Note to self: Stop getting hit in the face by tree branches. It’s
so
embarrassing…
Chapter 4: Yellow Trailer - Rager in a Mistrali Riot.
Chapter Text
Laying on the plush mattress in the shared apartment she and Ruby had, Yang hummed quietly to herself. There was a part of her that was soothed being in Inkopolis. The constant Turf-wars, violence, excitement, and partying kept that part of her quiet enough. For all that there wasn’t much left of the one who was Kaido, there was too much of him there to ignore as well.
Most of the time that would be fine. Most of the time. But when it snuck out, she stopped being Yang and went straight back to being the King of Beasts. Still… Ruby has kept her grounded for this long, at least. She should probably have more of an issue with the fact that Ruby wanted to pump her full of children, especially on account of the whole ‘Not-God of the Hunt, Holder of the Dream, Straight out of Yharnam’ thing she had going on…
On the other hand, Yang is treated like a princess whenever they do anything together, has just as strong a pregnancy kink as Ruby, and Ruby knew all of her buttons.
“You’re thinking again.” The bed… didn’t quite shift, really, on account of the disparity in… everything between Yang and Ruby. Still, a hand did slide across Yang’s scales to rest on her belly, fingers splayed around her belly button. “What’s on your mind?”
“Not much.” She said back, shifting in place as she brought an arm around Ruby and pulled her closer. She was, as ever, slightly too squishy for a human. More akin to the Inklings and Octolings here, not that Yang had managed to hug, or do more, with too many of them. None of them could keep up in any kind of fight that wasn’t a paint war. “Just that the King of Beasts is quiet right now, and that’s good. I’m happy you can keep it quiet.”
Yang smiled softly, before leaning down and taking hold of Ruby’s chin. “I don’t know how you do it, but it makes me happy.”
“What is a king to me?” asked Ruby, in the middle of the Dream she created, surrounded by the species born of her domain. “Mm.” She shifted, her gaze shifting to look through the window. Out toward the mountain that loomed near Inkopolis. “I should probably get someone on that.”
“Probably.” Yang softly chuckled, leaning back against the bed and removing her hand from Ruby’s face. “Still, it’s quiet here. And that’s good. And you make me happy, and that’s also good. So keep making me happy.” She imperiously demanded, but it was clear she was joking.
“Only if you keep making me happy.” Ruby chuckled. “I like this. Now if only you just let me-”
“You only want me pregnant for my titties.” Yang smirked down at her, shifting on their bed to hold herself up with her elbows. “I don’t really mind, but I think that dad would have a problem even if he hasn’t noticed what we do. Even if I didn’t tell him you did it. And I’m trying to be at least a quarter-decent kid.”
“He should try being a quarter-decent father then.” Ruby sighed. “Fiiine. I’ll just help my kids here. Octavio’s second is still being an ass and I really need to do something about that condiment in Nantai. Maybe… hm. That could be a good test for a Hunter. Maybe I’ll meet someone who could do it at Beacon and is too desperate and straightforward to look twice at a contract. Might find other people there as well. Ohh… multiple babies…”
Watching Ruby spiral into the beginnings of a pregnancy kink induced frenzy, Yang shook her head gently even as she sat up. “Ruby… are you ignoring me for hypothetical babies?” There was a not-quite smile on Yang’s face as she looked down at her sister, and a flare of danger just waiting to leave in her eyes.
“N- no. Just… planning for the future. Besides, you were the one that insisted on stopping.” Considering if they hadn’t stopped Yang would have been pumped full enough that she would have had a hard time walking it was… not a bad request. Even if Ruby whined every time. She did need to go and enter a tournament later, and people tended to not let you do that if you looked pregnant. “Anyway, when does that Mistrali tournament start again?”
Pouting slightly at Ruby managing to deflect her little attack, Yang reached over and grabbed her scroll before pulling Ruby into her lap and dropping a kiss onto the top of her forehead. “Looks like it’ll be starting in about three hours. Which is enough time for a shower, a quickie, maybe a blowie, and some breakfast. What do you think?”
“Sounds good. I’ll order.” Best thing about being in her own Dream? She could speak anywhere she wanted. Inklings were surprisingly chill with their creator’s voice coming out of nowhere to order pizza. “What do you want?”
“Anything. Just lots of it.” Yang quietly hummed, dropping her scroll to the side and trailing her claws along Ruby’s skin. Gently, of course. She was quiet in a contemplative way, before shrugging. “Y’know what? I hit eighteen, you can pump me full, kay? Dad can’t really say shit since I waited.”
Ruby cuddled against Yang. “Perfect.”
Watching Ruby giddily kicking her feet was enough for Yang to decide that whatever the fuck popped out of her later down the line was worth it. Still, standing up and feeling the air on her skin, she put her hands on her hips, turned around, bent over, valiantly did her best to not laugh in Ruby’s face when her eyes immediately zeroed in on how Yang’s breasts hung in the air, and captured her lips with all the aggression of a wild animal.
That it’d make Ruby nice and ready for their shower was just a side benefit. She liked kissing. Still, pulling away and ignoring the ‘pop’ sound, she had a bounce in her step, a happy hum, and was ready to take a shower, pausing at the door to stare over her shoulder with a grin and a shake of her tail. “I’ll be waiting~!”
The fact that Ruby sprinted to catch up to her just made Yang laugh loudly. Life is good.
Scratching the side of her head in disappointment at yet another brat immediately getting knocked out of the park with a punch she barely put any force behind, Yang shook her head as she walked back to the waiting area this tournament had set up for the contestants.
Most of which have avoided her, either out of fear, or racism in a few cases, as they automatically assumed she was a Faunus. Not that it was a problem or anything, but it was still odd that they never considered a Semblance to be the reason she looked like this.
The few that hadn’t avoided her were more focused on staring at her tits or her muscles to actually talk to her, so that was a bit disappointing.
None of them were worth much either. Too weak to invest in, too boring to care about.
A blip on her scroll had her open it and give it a look, before she blinked. White Fang leader and second in command were gone, which meant that Adam was either dead or at the bottom of a ditch somewhere, and Blake was off in the sunset somewhere. Which left a collection of White Fang troops ripe for new management.
Flicking a quick message to Junior about politely recruiting the disenfranchised White Fang, she put her scroll away and tapped her foot as more and more of the other competitors filed out for their matches, victorious smiles or disappointed frowns following in their wake.
She came here hoping for a fight. Even if she can’t go as hard as she wanted to, it was still boring when most people fold after the first punch!
Still, she heard her name be called, so Yang stood up, grabbed Hassaikai, and walked her perfect ass out into the arena, kanabo resting on her shoulder, smirk on her face, and a raised eyebrow at her opponent.
The Invincible Girl herself, Pyrrha Nikos. Head held high, a smile for the crowd on her face, and strutting. Like a prized peacock. Or Peahen, in the girl’s case.
Then again it wasn’t like women couldn’t be hung in this world. Probably on account of those Brother Gods not knowing what the fuck they were doing.
Still, the both of them met in the middle, and Yang’s smirk shifted into a sporting smile as Pyrrha did her best to not stare at her tits. “Hi there, nice to meet you.”
“Likewise. No hard feelings?” Pyrrha said, and Yang had to tamp down the part of herself that wanted to immediately respond to that provocation, accidental or not.
“No hard feelings. Win or lose.” She said instead as a response, before moving back to her side of the arena, and taking a deep breath. Small tournament, and she’d been disappointed almost the entire time she’d been here.
Don’t let a girl used to winning accidentally offend you. She was just being polite.
Still, planting her club into the arena in front of her and ignoring the way it cracked the ground, she placed her hands onto its pommel and waited.
A horn sounded, and before she could take off running, Ember Celica and Hassaikai are pulled away from her by an apologetic Pyrrha. Which just caused a wide smile to grow on her face.
Today was gonna be fun.
Kicking off the ground, she could see when Pyrrha registered the danger, barely bringing her shield up in time to defend against a Haki coated fist that drove her to the edge of the arena, only a timely planting of her spear rescuing her from a ring-out.
Bringing her arms over her body, Yang pointed her fists at Pyrrha with her smirk now firmly back on her face. “Sorry about that, I thought you were ready!”
The surprise on Pyrrha’s face was a delight to see, followed by the wild grin she gained telling Yang that this’d be fun.
“I thought you’d try to reclaim your weapon!” Pyrrha shouted as the both of them ran, meeting in the middle of the arena, Fist meeting spear and somehow coming out the victor despite everything saying it should lose, followed by a vicious kick to the side that knocked the red-haired woman around and further cementing that this wouldn’t be a fight she could coast through.
Thumbing her nose at Pyrrha, Yang just smirked. “I haven’t seen anything that tells me I’ll need ‘em. Shape up, champ.”
Tightening her grip on her spear, Pyrrha’s eyes narrowed. “Be quiet and face me.” The woman demanded, and Yang was nothing if not courteous.
“If that’s what you want.” She said back with a smile, before kicking off the ground again and slamming a fist into Pyrrha’s shield, batting aside her spear with an errant backhand that actually succeeded in knocking it out of her hands.
Unfortunately, Yang focused more on punching her shield than to give her time to recuperate or reclaim it, a terrifying assault that was the furthest she’d ever been kept on the backfoot in her memory. Her feet were skidding back, her body unable to respond, and her hands desperately holding her shield as she tried to find something, anything to give her some space to mount a counter-assault, and finding nothing.
So Pyrrha decided to do something she hadn’t decided to focus on in months, flicking her hand out and desperately hoping for a weapon to come to her hand. Which one did, but she didn’t have time to focus on the unfamiliar weight, the heft, or the boiling energy underneath it as she swung blindly.
And finally felt a stop to the attack on her shield, opening her eyes to see her opponent’s fist locked in the air, clashing with her own club, and a look of pure glee on her face. Breathing heavily, Pyrrha put her other hand on the club, pressing forward with her feet and feeling an invisible force building around her body, not Aura but only because Aura didn’t ever feel this focused, this aggressive.
Lightning crackled around the both of them as they were locked in a clash similar to the beginning of the fight, cracking stone and driving furrows through the ground around them, but through all of that Pyrrha knew that she was losing ground. She was unfamiliar with whatever this energy was, while her opponent clearly had more than just a small amount of experience.
But she refused to stop here. If she were to lose, to finally get rid of that stupid reputation, she would not do so by THROWING A MATCH BECAUSE IT WAS DIFFICULT!
“HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” Instead Pyrrha yelled, letting out a roar of exertion as she pushed harder, while Yang laughed, an odd reverberating sound that could only be called one because of the way her chest shifted.
“WORORORORORO! EXCELLENT! KEEP PUSHING YOUR GROUND! I’LL GRIND YOU TO DUST AS MANY TIMES AS YOU WANT!” Yang roared back, excitement growing as what she thought to be an ant instead could use her own club to clash with her. A Will, currently dull, but rapidly forging itself greater!
This was one of the best fights Yang has had ever since waking up her older lives! An actual challenge to clash against that wasn’t Ruby!
Further! Further! Further and Further still! The both of them pressed hard, Willpower crackling and attempting to dominate. Pyrrha slowly crumbled from lack of training, from Yang deciding not to hit her with everything she had. Knees slowly buckled, dropping out from under her, and the result of the match-
The sound of a bell causes Yang to blink, before her club is slammed into her face, causing her to spin around and rub her face irritatedly. “What the fuck?”
Behind her, Pyrrha let the kanabo in her hands drop to the ground as they shook from the exertion and vibrational force that traveled through her arms, panting heavily even as she knew what that bell meant. There was an anger inside of her just begging to escape.
Still, an official was standing on a podium, clearing his throat and trying not to look nervous at the two monsters that were previously fighting, now staring at him expectantly. “E-er, um… Yang Xiao-Long? You have been disqualified. Investigation of your official documents has revealed that you are neither a student of any of Mistral’s combat schools, nor are you a Mistrali citizen at all. While the Mistral Regional Tournament is open to international students, you deliberately went through the local fighter’s track. Ergo, your progress through this tournament has been declared null and your earnings are being withheld until further notice.”
Pyrrha had never heard such bullshit before.
“Oh.” Yang just says oh, instead of getting angry, or anything like that. She just shrugged, picked up her Kanabo and her gauntlets, and walked out, leaving Pyrrha there, shaking, about to pass out, high and dry… And empty.
“But… but we’re not done yet!” Pyrrha whispered out, before dropping to the ground, too exhausted to move.
Yang didn’t hear the uproar that began because of that, of seeing the Invincible Girl actually knocked unconscious, of the clear winner being disqualified over something as stupid as a passport issue, in MISTRAL of all places.
She didn’t see the Betting Offices get swarmed by angry gamblers, either those that felt their earnings had been fraudulent, or those that had bet on her and felt cheated out of their money.
Didn’t see the uproar that started a major riot in Mistral that wouldn’t be quelled for several days, after which instead of learning about said riot, Yang just saw the weakness in the Gangs and sent out several focused pushes to take some of their territory.
Mistral was far from home, but its market was very sweet.
And at the end of it all, Yang didn’t see one Pyrrha Nikos, resolutely determined for a rematch enough to hunt her down, all the way to Beacon Academy.
Instead, Yang went home, flying the whole way there in her full Dragon form, before plummeting to the earth, walking into her house, dropping into bed, and falling asleep. Not even bothering to change out of her clothes.
Life was good for Yang Xiao-Long. Especially when Ruby came home and cuddled up against her.
Good indeed.
Chapter 5: Gray Trailer - The Hobocop
Chapter by The_Mad_Mystic
Chapter Text
Technically speaking, Qrow did not exist.
That was not to say he’d never existed, just that the thing he currently was, wasn’t really him. Once that meteor hit, Qrow had died. The Qrow of today was more of a mimicry of the person that had been Qrow prior. His personality remained, alterations aside, but on a fundamental level, he was different .
Not that anyone really noticed. At worst, Ozpin and Glynda became increasingly worried with his choice of drink. They’d always known him as an alcoholic, but not to the point of drinking absinthe. Not to mention the other drinks he consumed, solely because their reactions were hilarious.
He wasn’t human anymore. Not really. A virus mimicking human flesh, taking over the memories and life, perhaps even soul if Aura was to be believed, of the human the virus had infected initially. At least this time there wasn’t a zombie outbreak…
Still, his relatively new resistance to alcohol, as well as how difficult it was to actually get absinthe, made him sober most of the time. This… was not a good thing for many people.
While team STRQ being a polycule had been an open secret, there were several falsehoods attached to those rumors. The first of which was that Raven was ever a top, in any way shape or form. But most importantly, Qrow was believed to barely be in it, whether due to emotional distance or his drunkenness. What most people did not know, however, was that he was very into it. A bit too much, if he were honest. Drinking came later, used to dull the pain of loss and loneliness. It also helped him control himself, oddly enough.
Sober Qrow was a menace to society, but Drunk Qrow was relaxed enough to be a significantly less chaotic mess of a person. Now that he couldn’t get drunk as easily, he tended to do… less than intelligent things.
“Come and get your love~”
Which was how he found himself standing outside Salem’s castle, stereo above his head, staring at the dumbfounded immortal in the window.
Finding her castle hadn’t been hard, both thanks to his crow form, eyesight, and survival skills. Almost, it was pretty damn eye catching, much like Salem herself.
For a long moment, as the song continued, Salem simply stared at Qrow in disbelief, before she opened the window. “Did Ozma send you?”
Seriously, this was… not a tactic Ozma had ever tried before. It was amusing, if she were honest, but what the fuck.
“Baby I’m only here for you.” Qrow winked at her.
A blast of raw magic turned Qrow and the stereo into a fine mist. Salem blinked, glancing around, only to realize she’d done that instinctively. “Oh my…” Since when was her first instinct to flirting murder ?! “Too bad, he was… amusing, at least.” It helped that it’d been a very long time since anyone tried flirting with her, but still. At least one of Ozma’s pawns was dead. She fanned her face, feeling genuinely embarrassed by the man’s attempts. Surely, he couldn’t have expected any other outcome, so why would he do it?
As Salem turned away from the window, thoughts swirling in pure confusion, she never noticed the mist slowly come together to reform Qrow.
“Well, that went better than expected.” Qrow muttered to himself. He’d do it again, but he didn’t exactly bring a spare stereo. “I’ll fix that next time.” After all, he was not giving up on the goth witch milf. Not on his life.
“Qrow, it’s good to see you again.” Ozpin greeted him as he stepped into the office. “It’s been a while.”
“Yeah, I’ve been roaming a lot lately…” Qrow shrugged, slouching slightly. He didn’t exactly want to tell Ozpin that he’d been trying to get with his ex-wife. He wasn’t sure how Ozpin would take that. “Been trying to… live a bit more, ya know? Sure, we’ve all got jobs to do, but…” He shrugged again, not sure how to explain it. Not like he could tell Ozpin he’d become a monstrous virus that erased his inhibitions entirely and, oddly enough, made him happier.
“I’ve… heard.” Ozpin pursed his lips as the door opened behind Qrow. “Please, take a seat.”
“Uh… sure?” Qrow glanced behind him, surprised to see Glynda and Taiyang entering. “Shit, nothing happened to Ruby or Yang, did it?”
“No, no, nothing like that.” Ozpin chuckled softly. “They’re doing well. In fact, they’re both going to be joining us here at Beacon before too long.”
“Ruby’s certainly qualified to join.” Taiyang sounded nervous, oddly enough.
“She’s always been a quick learner.” Qrow hummed. He’d technically taught her, but she already seemed used to using a scythe. She’d always been a strange kid, but… well, her parents were strange too, no matter who they were. Team STRQ had always been… weird. “Anyway, if it’s not about them…”
“We’re worried about you.” Glynda, fucking Glynda , said.
“What.” Qrow deadpanned. “I’m doing great?” He was, too. Sure, he was drinking harder stuff, but it affected him about as much as normal beer now. Hell, he’d even finally changed his outfit. Sure, it was little more than adding a neat hoodie and jacket, but still .
“Qrow…” Taiyang grimaced, glancing towards Glynda, who looked equally disbelieving. “You’ve been drinking absinthe .”
“You’ve been dressing… peculiarly.” Ozpin sighed. “That hoodie is… familiar.”
“Okay, I’ve gotten a crazy resistance to Alcohol, that’s all.” Technically the truth, even! “And what’s wrong with my hoodie? It’s cool !”
“Resistance?” Ozpin blinked, suddenly more concerned. “In what regard?”
“Uh… I mean, Vodka hits about as hard as water now.” Qrow paused. “No, not like that. Just, I genuinely don’t feel it anymore.”
“Qrow…” Ozpin looked more concerned.
“No, I know how it sounds, I’m being entirely literal. I am not suffering from liver failure, I’m healthier than I’ve ever been.” Qrow rolled his eyes. Sure, their concern was endearing, but it was a bit annoying because he sincerely doubted they’d accept him becoming a living virus as an excuse. They’d probably think he was insane… more insane.
“Healthier than three years being here?” Ozpin narrowed his eyes.
“Without a doubt.” Dealing with team STRQ being all together was… well, it was fun , but it was not healthy.
“ Qrow …” Glynda shook her head. “You flirted with me.”
“I flirt with a lot of people, you included.” Qrow shrugged. “I mean, if I didn’t know about Ozpin’s… thing , I’d be freaked out that he didn’t flirt with you… and probably flirt with him too.”
“I was around twenty five when you first got here.” Ozpin pointed out.
“...And?” Qrow raised an eyebrow.
“...Ignoring that .” Glynda took a breath, trying to resist the urge to smack the shit out of Qrow. “You flirted with me and it didn’t sound pathetic.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?!” Qrow flinched, actually offended. “I’m awesome at flirting!”
Taiyang snorted. “Qrow, the first time we met you asked if I wanted to have a bucket of chicken and fuck.”
“It worked didn’t it?”
“You asked Summer the same thing.” Taiyang said, without acknowledging that point.
“ And it worked .” Qrow repeated. “Sides, I’ve been doing a lot more these days…”
“...What, exactly, do you mean?” Glynda crossed her arms, giving him the usual glare.
“Oh, just uh…” Qrow scratched his cheek. “Well, I’ve been exploring a lot lately, so when I stop in the big cities… Let’s just say I’ve always got a place to stay.”
“So I’m just one of your attempted conquests?” Glynda’s eyes narrowed further.
“No, of course not. You’re a trusted friend and colleague as it is, anything I try with you would be serious, not just a fling.” Qrow shook his head, entirely sincere.
“Oh god, Salem must’ve already won, this is clearly hell.” Taiyang muttered, covering his face. “How did Qrow get good at flirting?”
“I… am going to pretend I didn’t hear any of that.” Ozpin sighed, really wishing he wouldn’t have to deal with Glynda’s… problems. “In any case, you’ve been drinking what should have killed you, you’re dressing like your dead best friend slash lover, and you’re acting very different.”
“I am not having a midlife crisis.” Qrow stood up, crossing his arms. “Seriously, I’m fine . Like I said earlier, I just decided to start living again.”
“That’s the other thing.” Ozpin continued. “Your semblance.”
“Oh.” Qrow blinked. “That’s part of it, yeah.”
“You learned to control it?” Ozpin questioned, looking more interested and less dead inside. To be fair, hearing about Qrow’s attempts at wooing his coworker were probably not helpful for Ozpin’s remaining sanity.
“Sorta.” Qrow shrugged. “It’s less control, and more holding it back so I don’t affect myself or allies. Took a bit of time to learn, but I’m happy with the results.”
“You tried for years to control it. You only found moderate success when we were all together, and even then it was still risky.” Taiyang pointed out. “What happened?”
“I got hit by a rock.”
“What.” Taiyang blinked.
“I got hit by a rock.” Qrow repeated.
“What do you mean you got hit by a rock?” Taiyang grit his teeth, not wanting to deal with Qrow’s bullshit.
“I mean I got hit by a rock.” Qrow repeated once more.
“WHAT DO-”
“Taiyang.” Glynda put a hand on his shoulder. “How did that help you with your luck?”
“It was a big rock.”
Glynda’s eye twitched. “How big?”
“Watermelon.” Qrow shrugged.
“You got hit by a rock the size of a watermelon?” Glynda blanched, not sure what to even think about that.
“Oh yeah, worse cause I was a bird at the time.” Qrow hummed. “I guess with how bad my luck had to be to get hit by a rock like that, in the middle of my flight, it kinda canceled out my bad luck for a while. Kinda felt it out, ya know? Didn’t know what not having shit luck felt like until then, so now I can probably just… keep it going?”
“That makes no sense.” Glynda stared at Qrow in disbelief.
“Look, it’s soul magic, nothing about it makes sense.” Qrow rolled his eyes. “I turn into a fucking bird because of Ozpin here. You’re telekinetic. Ruby turns into fucking flower petals, I can change random chance . None of this makes any sense.”
“...I hate how that makes sense.” Taiyang groaned. “Whatever, just… we’re here for you, if you need us.”
“And I appreciate it, really, but I’m doing better than ever.” Qrow chuckled. “Now, can we talk about what our plans are? I’ve got to buy a stereo later.”
“Right…” Ozpin still looked like he wanted to send Qrow to a doctor, but that was pretty normal. He certainly looked better, at least. “Why do you need a stereo?”
“Oh, I’m trying to woo a goth milf.” Qrow spoke before realizing he might have just given the game away.
“I’m not a mother.” Glynda rolled her eyes.
“Would you like to be?” Qrow grinned.
Ozpin sighed as Glynda stuttered in embarrassment. They likely wouldn’t get much business done now… Oh well, at least it was fun to watch.
Qrow flew through the air, glad his increased mass didn’t carry over to his bird form. That’d make his scouting a lot harder. Not necessarily because of stealth, but because of mobility. His form could easily shift into any shape at this point, even a mist, as Salem had proven for him. It’d be harder to shift into those forms without external… help, but it was probably possible. The real issue was that he couldn’t fly without Ozpin’s magic bullshit.
Well, not without developing some truly massive wings. Pterodactyls probably weighed more than him, and they flew just fine, so it was definitely possible, just… it’d make him a massive target, and it’d also weaken his durability. Aura did a lot, but why bother with it when he could just casually tank normal attacks? Unless there was some kind of Gentek on Remnant, he wasn’t likely to find anything able to actually kill him entirely. Even then, he’d been careful to store bits of himself all over, so it’d be even harder to do. Even a tiny bit of him remaining meant any attempt on his life would fail. Aura was great for many things, but it didn’t compare to the raw survivability of Blacklight.
The sound of battle drew his attention, so he flew towards the noise, curious what could be happening so far out, in such a Grimmless area. Sure, there were some Grimm, but not enough for a serious battle…
Qrow landed calmly on top of the train, staring down at… Blake. Huh. Weird coincidence, but good to know. Maybe he should meet her, introduce her to Ozpin and give her a chance to come to Beacon openly. Not that Ozpin wouldn’t know who she was immediately, but still . Though…
Something was off with her.
Ever since he’d become Blacklight, he’d been able to somehow sense when something was… prey, for lack of a better word. Most people were under that category, at least in terms of his new instincts. Not that he needed to feed on them, but that was about as important as they were. Blake, though…
Despite not having met her yet, he somehow did not recognize her as prey at all. In much the same way that Salem felt, Blake seemed to be… like him. Other . Sure, he was a living virus, but he knew damn well that virus did not originate on Remnant. Whatever the fuck was going on with Blake, she was very clearly not the Blake he knew about.
All his questions were answered with a simple word from Blake, unaware that he’d been watching her.
“ Weh!” She cried out when a tree branch hit her.
“Motherfucker.” Qrow stared at her, for once speaking in his crow form. He cleared his throat, a weird thing for him to do in bird form. “Hello small cat girl! I’ve come to make an announcement! The Brother Gods are bitchass motherfuckers and we should kill them.”
Blake stared, wordlessly moving her lips in silence for a moment. “A… talking bird… wait- killing gods? YOU!”
“That’s right, and no rocks this time. Or catgirls.” Qrow paused, trying to remember whether or not Blake’s mom was also a cat faunus… But he’d figure that out later. “So, you wanna go to Beacon and traumatize the entire world?”
“...” Blake blinked, then sighed. “Y’know what? Sure. So. What cool bullshit did you get when you popped into existence inside the Drunkle’s head?”
“...Have you ever played Prototype?” Qrow, despite being a fucking crow , grinned. It looked particularly horrifying given his beak bent to make a smile.
“... No. But I know what you’re talking about. Lucky you, you get to be a shapeshifter,” Blake huffed, then shrugged. “Then again. I’m already hot as it is. You ever played Devil May Cry 5?”
“I’ve literally talked to you while playing as Vergil. Given you’re not… Dante-ish, I’m guessing you got lucky with Vergil.” Qrow leapt down, shifting to his human form. “Nero’s… not your type.”
“I am the storm that is approaching,” Blake grinned, sticking out her tongue smugly. “I’m not sure how high I scale, but I’ve got Sin Devil Trigger, I stole Adam’s katana, and I’m gonna make that everyone’s problem.”
“Nice. Did you kill him at least? Cause I’m debating on whether or not to kill Jacques early.” Qrow hummed. “Wonder if we’re the only ones this time. World’s already batshit insane compared to canon, anyway.”
“I… literally just threw him under the wheels about five minutes ago,” Blake vaguely motioned over her shoulder where there were still decoupled train cars drifting down the tracks. “... Don’t uh… don’t bother stopping those. They’re for the White Fang and I’m trying to leave them with something useful for all that I’m basically removing two of their best fighters in one go. Also… eh? Hopefully it’s not too fucked. My experience was normal up until I- Blake… we… fused with a demon.”
“Calling Adam one of their best fighters sounds like a stretch. But fair enough! I got hit by a meteorite… Oh. Oh god .” Qrow groaned covering his face. “The meteorite was the virus. This time? The rock ate me .”
“Oh how the turns table…” Blake snorted, then took a deep breath. “Right. Let’s go give Ozpin a stress ulcer!”
“Sure, sure… dibs on Salem .” Qrow muttered, glaring at Blake with suspicion.
Chapter 6: Beacon Days- Red Sky Dawn (Ruby 2)
Chapter by Argo_The_Rat, CyberQueen_Jolyne, desolatedsabers, InternecionWitch
Summary:
On the Bullhead to Beacon
Chapter Text
The airship to Beacon was interesting. A larger collection of… wannabes Ruby had yet to encounter. Most would fail out, without question, some might surprise her, and others stood unquestioned. It would be interesting to see, honestly. Adversity, and triumphing over it, is just as much hers as a hunt.
Or something. Turns out being an eldritch entity was subject to constant change. Or just being confusing. One would think becoming something so great would confer some knowledge of one's own body. They’d be wrong. Much to Ruby's constant annoyance.
Whatever. She could do what she wanted and that was enough. “Hm.” The blond in the corner looked… interesting. He had no Aura, or at least it didn't seem active, but there was a will there. No callouses to speak of to turn that will into action. Perhaps he would die, perhaps not.
If he survived though… well. Perhaps it would be nice to have a Hunter. Flora seemed to like them, yandere bitch that she was. It bore some thought at least. More than most of the rest of those on the ship.
Speaking of the rest… that cat Faunus. There was something off about her soul. Not that Ruby could peer at the soul like a gem, but… well the soul was a powerful thing. It left impressions. Impressions strengthened by unlocked Aura, and again by an uncovered Semblance. Hers… hers was metal.
Kinda felt like she should shoot a guy, fuck Yang, and then have a cigarette. Or shoot a guy, fuck her, and have a cigarette.
Hm…
She did have nice hips.
She was also staring at Ruby while making it extremely obvious that she was trying way too hard to not look like she was staring at Ruby. How odd. Would it be a good idea to confront her?
Yes.
Yes it would. Ruby was all about confrontation. She confronted Gods. She confronted beasts. She confronted her feelings for Yang. And finally she confronted the great dragon in bed.
That last one had been difficult. Dealing with a pussy that big had needed special measures. Extraordinary size has no intrinsic merit, unless inordinate exsanguination was considered a virtue. That was doubly true in bed, where it'd take someone truly impressive to give her anything.
Where was she?
Oh right. Ruby idly wiped away the drool and strolled up to the Faunus. Now what to say. “Your hips are nicely sized.”
…
Shit.
Strangely enough, said catgirl didn’t actually seem all that offended by that godawful opening line, and instead blushed a little. “... Thanks, I literally did twenty thousand squats for them. You’re… this is gonna sound so creepy but are you Ruby Rose?”
“That's a name I have, yes.” It was her favorite one. Hm. Cat Faunus… it'd been so long. The idea scratched something, but… well she'd lost much in braving Yharnam. Who she was before the contract was… part of the price of life, taken by inches and hidden in the fine print. Burned out time after time, loop after loop, as Flora refused to let go of her Dream and Mergo's Wet Nurse clawed back using that desire time and again. “I quite like it. Would you like to know me a lot better?”
“I- uh. Y-yeah, but that’s-” the Faunus cleared her throat, ears pinning back in embarrassment. “... Sorry. It’s been a while since I’ve talked to someone that I didn’t immediately feel like punching in the face. My name is Blake Belladonna. I’m an associate of your uncle Qrow Branwen. He… didn’t exactly ask me to look out for you in so many words, but he did mention you’d be here. I… figured I should introduce myself. You’re… more confident than I expected.”
“Your fantastic hips give me hope. Like a lantern.” Huh. That was actually a little smooth? Hopefully? Damnit, where's Yang. She's better at this and her tits are good for getting women into their bed. God, she'd look so good plumped up and- mpf! “Uncle Qrow? I haven't heard from him in a bit.” Didn't she feel him die? Might've been someone else.
“He’s…” Blake paused, pursing her lips before doing a weird little shimmy in place that made her coat flutter in such a way that it somehow revealed her rear. “Probably currently trying to find something that can get him drunk for… long and complicated reasons. Other than that… he’s fine aside from his not-quite-midlife crisis. And… thanks for the compliments? I uh… don’t really know how to react here and I can only blush so hard.”
She was barely blushing, honestly. Could be blushing way more, though.
“Hey, Rubes.” Of course, Yang came in with all the force of a bludgeon, still somehow managing to sneak despite her size, swagger, and the ever prominent smirk on her face. Blake, immediately reacting to her presence, somehow managed to appear on the other side of Ruby the moment Yang said hello. “Who’s this?”
“Blake Booty- Belladonna.” Yang absolutely noticed that. Shit. “She knows Uncle Qrow.”
“Hello-” Blake sort of squeaked out, looking up… and up… and up… until her view was obstructed by Yang’s giant titties. Oh. She could blush harder. Neat. “... Can I touch your titties- Uh wait no ignore that!”
Snorting as her smirk melted into a grin, Yang stepped closer to Blake’s personal space and leant in. “Sure. It’s nice to meet you, but it’s even better to meet me.”
The sound Blake made was not any form of speech, human or otherwise. It was, however, incredibly gay. As was the sight of her trembling like a leaf while reaching up and placing a single hand on one of Yang’s boobs. And of course, the sheer amount of gay coursing through this disaster lesbian with an amazing ass literally caused her to spontaneously erupt in violet flames… while making a single, vaguely echoing noise recognizable only to a select few people. “W-weh… g-giant titty…”
“Yeah, I know they’re amazing. I grew ‘em myself after I found a cool rock.” Yang ‘humbly’ bragged, before huffing out a laugh. “Alright, I think that’s enough for now.” Saying that, she stepped back and straightened her spine, before near leering down at the disaster in front of her. “So. Where’re you going with all this ass?”
“Hmm, that sound sounded familiar…” Ruby gently lifted a boob up so she could stand in front of Blake. “I can't quite place it. Would you mind me getting you to do it again?” Ruby lifted a hand, her sleeve sliding back to reveal wiggling fingers.
“Uh- uh… oh gods there’s a lot going on right now,” Blake flapped her hands lightly, taking a stuttering step back and leaning against the closest wall while her eyes darted between the two sisters. Fortunately by this point she’d stopped being on fire. Unfortunately, that didn’t stop her from being disastrously gay. “I-uh. I’m going to Beacon? L-like you two? This is… a little overwhelming right now… kweh…”
“We can overwhelm you more later.” Being able to dip into her own Dream whenever was great for avoiding silly things. Like ‘public indecency’ or ‘not fucking in the middle of a mass sleepover’. “If you are wil-”
“YOU!” Oh, hey. That's a redhead. Ruby just stared at the boobs that spilled out over the woman's breastplate. Hm. To be horny or to be offended?
…
Both. Both is good.
The redhead marched right up to Yang, lifted a hand, and paused. There… really wasn't a spot to poke her without squishing into boob considering their two heights. Which… she could go for it. Yang wouldn't care. But some people apparently thought boob squeezes weren't ‘appropriate meeting behavior’. Which was silly- Inklings held it as a common ritual between rivals and friends! Ruby blinked. The redhead was saying something. It might actually be important.
“What is Pyrrha Nikos doing here…?” Blake mumbled largely to herself, though given that she was still standing less than five feet from Ruby, it was still clearly audible. “I thought she was on the next airship over…”
Whatever the redhaired lady, Pyrrha, was talking about, it just seemed to cause Yang’s smirk to grow in size. A recognizable type of smug, the sort where Yang has left someone high and dry and then not granted them release. Either in a fight, or in other ways. Ruby minutely shivered as part of her frenzy returned, but she quashed it down with a small application of will.
“Look, Pyrrha, it ain't my fault that I got DQ’d at the tournament.” Oh, Yang is saying something. “Seriously, it was fun, but it was just a fight.”
Pyrrha’s mouth dropped open in shock, before some odd form of not-quite-anger percolated in the woman’s eyes. “You bitch!”
“Guilty~.” Yang winked back, chortling in a way that caused her chest to bounce, this time unintentionally. The Smuggest of smug laughter that Yang is capable of, where it was entirely unintentional. Like when Yang took her to meet that ice-cream lady and the flamboyant orange man.
They were cool. Fun to be around. What was the ice-cream lady's name again? She couldn't scream but Ruby made damn sure she wasn't faking. Then took her out for actual ice-cream and splat battling. Inklings had the best ice-cream flavors, seriously. And the weirdest.
Whatever.
“Rrrgh!” Pyrrha shook, her armor almost seeming to warp as… huh. Was. Was that Haki? Barely there but the distinct feeling of ‘reality’ was definitely there. “Just wait! We'll get into plenty of spars at Beacon and we'll finish what we started.”
“I look forward to it.” Yang said as Pyrrha finally let out a harrumph and stomped off with what she probably thought was a frown, but was closer to a pout. “Haaah… adorable. Whelp figures out the first steps of Haki and immediately wants a rematch. Reminds me of… hmm.” The Dragon woman trails off, before shaking her head. “Eh, not important. So, where were we?” She turned around and asked with a grin.
“... Um, invading my personal space and implying that you wanted to have sex with me?” Blake vaguely raised her hand, looking as though she wasn’t sure if speaking up had been a good idea at all. “... And… something about one of the things I said sounding familiar?”
“A lot of things sound familiar.” That was part of being nuts for a while. “I would need to hear it more times to jog my memory. How do you feel about death by boob?”
“Weh!?” came that same sound one more time, more of a shocked squeak this time than an actual vocalization. Blake turned ever so slightly, eyes locking onto the generous proportions of Yang’s chest. “I- uh. Um. Uh. Um… y-yes?”
“Great!” If Yang had a problem with being volunteered, she’d have already made that clear. Instead, she puts an arm under her generous chest and bounces it. “So, suffocation or crushing?”
“Wait for us to be in a place she could survive it.” That didn't make sense to Blake, but it would. “Hm.” Ruby tapped her lip for a moment, then stepped forward and hugged the Faunus. “I don't know why, but something about that sound makes me think you need a hug.”
“Geh,” Blake made yet another odd vocalization, but didn’t protest Ruby hugging her. “... In all honesty, I probably do… A-and um… weh. I don’t… have anything else to say here. I don’t think my brain is working right at the moment…”
Gently petting Blake’s head, Yang smiled at her. “Don’t worry, you’ll figure it out. Now c’mon, I’m thinking we’re gonna land cause the Bullhead’s slowing down, and I dunno about you, but I’m hungry.” Saying that, the larger woman grabbed the both of them by the shoulders and stepped through the ship as it slowly docked atop the Beacon cliffs, trying to not grin at the hologram of the severe looking teacher lady, even if she can’t actually see them.
She failed of course. But she tried.
“I could eat,” Blake murmured softly, letting Yang push her around. She took a deep breath once they were down the ramp… and then her ear twitched. “... Why do I hear something… falling?”
A strange cybernetic girl fell from the sky at terminal velocity, “Incoming!” She called out, far too late for anyone to get out of the way. Luckily for her she landed safely in a set of airbags, attached to Yang’s chest. “Sorry about tha~” She trailed off as she realized the position she was in, hanging between Yang’s boobs.
Yang, who grinned down at the blue-screened blue girl, just chuckled softly and put a hand in her hair. “Hi there. Come here often?”
“I- I- I-” She stuttered out. “What do I do?” She uttered. “I’ve never been in this position before!”
“Enjoy it while it lasts and squeeze while you’re still allowed,” Blake suggested lightly, seemingly pulling a sheathed katana from nowhere before settling it at her hip. She paused, then looked up at the sky. “What a wonderful day to be a lesbian. Women are just falling from the sky.”
“Wouldja like to?” Yang said instead of actually waiting for Weiss’ answer, her voice in a low tone that found a way to stick itself right in the corner of the brain.
“Thank you for the advice oh wise cat girl,” Weiss intoned before leaning into Yang’s bust. “I will enjoy this gift for what it is.” She closed her eyes as she settled into a comfy position. “Can I get away with a nap?” She thought aloud.
“Sure.” Yang hummed, ignoring the way a lot of other students were staring at their peculiar ragtag of a group. One might say it was even queer. Ha. Ha. “Wonder what the sleeping situation’s gonna be like, here. Think they’ll dump us all into one room?”
“Our sleeping situation is settled.” Do they… even own sleeping bags? Yang might. Ruby just goes back to Inkopolis if it ever comes up. Much nicer to sleep on an actual bed. “These two can come too.”
“Yay,” Blake cheered, flapping her hands again. “Today is the best day to be a lesbian.”
“Yes, yes it is.” Weiss commented from the position most lesbians would kill to be in.
“Sleepover time, yaaay.” Yang added with a laugh.
Chapter 7: Beacon Days - Assorted Shenanigans About Takeout (Blake 2)
Chapter by Argo_The_Rat, CyberQueen_Jolyne, desolatedsabers, InternecionWitch
Chapter Text
Blah blah blah speech blah blah blah wasted potential blah blah blah Initiation tomorrow blah blah blah. It felt like she’d heard that exact speech like a million times now. Or read it a million times in some assorted half remembered fanfics a lifetime and a half ago. Whatever.
“Did they seriously not provide us with anything but microwave meals and water for the night?” Blake wondered, staring down at the pre-packaged lump of processed meats and garbage that sort of resembled food. Her lip curled, and she looked side to side to the other girls she’d gotten swept up with. “Does anyone else find this kind of insulting for supposedly the most prestigious Huntsman Academy in the world? Please tell me the food they serve their actual students is better…”
“Sorry, what?” Yang asked, looking up from her scroll and shaking it for good measure. “I was ordering my and Ruby’s usual takeout meal because the food here isn’t enough to keep me full for the night. Do you two want anything, by the way?”
“Where are you ordering from?” Weiss commented. “I mean, the stuff they have here is better than anything I could ever make but if you’re offering…”
“Golden Dragon’s Delight.” Yang said back, putting her scroll in view of the other two. “They’ve got a good selection and I tend to pack in about twenty million calories in a day. Also not too cut up about running out of noodles, which is a bonus.”
“I don’t trust takeout. Too many of them are willing to spit in a Faunus’ food,” Blake muttered, then reconsidered what she just said. “... Then again, if you’re ordering from a place I suppose it’s probably fine.”
There was a momentary pause, and then Blake shook her head. “Either way. I’d prefer my own meal. My body doesn’t agree with high concentrations of oil for some reason.”
“I grew up in a manor with self righteous rich people that thought caviar and tiny plates of single bites of food were the height of culinary perfection. I will gladly take any and all fast food offered.” Weiss commented.
“One of them did try that. Once.” That was why it was Golden Dragon’s Delight now. The previous owners were… not capable of continuing to own the business. “Get the mega platter. They guarantee enough food for twenty people, or one Yang and three others. Anything else we can get later, back at my place.”
“Kaaay.” Yang hummed, making popping sounds as she used her scroll. “Hmm. Do I want soda… It’s no plum wine but it’s good enough… Uh… Hmm. Dumplings? No, too airy… Uh, Blake, do you want anything specific? I figure if anyone gave a shit about ‘authentic’ Mistral cuisine it’d probably be you?”
“... I’m from Menagerie,” Blake deadpanned flatly, looking at Yang with a raised eyebrow. “The only thing I care about being authentic is sashimi. Wait- do they do sashimi? Specifically, do they do salmon?”
“They do do sashimi.” Yang nodded. “It’s why I asked. Boop.”
“I’ll take the largest salmon platter they have. Two- no, three,” Blake… really couldn’t help herself, she started drooling and figuratively had stars in her eyes at the thought of getting all that sashimi all to herself- a rare luxury when she was with the White Fang, now something she could get delivered to her doorstep. Life was good for Blake Belladonna. “I’ll pay you back, of course. I’m not hurting for money at the moment.”
“Same, perks of embezzling a few hundred million from your asshole father. Say, do they have blood sausage? Or anything bloodlike?” Weiss asked, she hadn’t had blood in a while and unfortunately unless she wanted to kidnap some random guy off the street her options were limited.
“Neither of you need to pay me.” The Dragon woman huffed, shaking her head as if the idea physically pained her. “And… Ruby. Give Weiss some of your coldblood dew.”
“... Blood?” Blake blinked, raising an eyebrow. She looked Weiss’ wings up and down for a moment, then reached into her coat slowly and withdrew a bag from her pocket. “... I wonder if Red Orbs would suffice, actually… they seem to spawn into existence haphazardly but… they do taste like blood.”
She paused, looking around. “... Don’t ask why I thought chewing on one was a good idea. I was… thirteen. And I thought it’d break like a gummy. It did not. I almost chipped a tooth.”
Ruby held up a hand, a bunch of differently red hard candy in it. “Normal, Thick, Kin, Great One, Beast, Frenzied, or Ink?”
Weiss hesitantly reached out to grab the normal blood from Ruby’s hand. “I’m just not gonna ask why you have that.” She remarked. She popped the red substance in her mouth and made a face, “Not bad, kinda sweet actually but, I think it tastes a bit like the concept of shadows and unknowable knowledge?”
“Fascinating,” Blake hummed, then slid over a napkinful of Red Orbs. “Try these. Do not bite. They dissolve like hard candy. They are not soft gummies no matter how much you wish they were. So… lick and suck and oh my god ignore that I just realized what I just said nevermind.”
Must. Resist. Urge. To throw self into a hole via Yamato.
Raising an eyebrow, Yang practically draped herself into the center of their little group with a grin on her face. “Go on~?”
“I uh- guh. Uh… weh,” Blake replied elegantly, and then mustered up all of her courage to just say what was on her mind. “Can I suck on your titties while you play with my hair and scratch my ears?”
Wait shit that was too much. Too far down in the mind! Abort! Abort!
“I can do that. Not here though.” Yang immediately said back, a mildly sadistic element entering her grin as she observed Blake flounder. “It’d be nice.”
Weiss rolled her eyes. “I’m a cybernetic vampire eating random blood candies, you being horny is probably the most normal thing going on here to be honest.” Weiss popped a red orb into her mouth. It was like if blood was in the form of a jawbreaker. “I’m keeping these.”
“Buh,” Blake continued to be eloquent as a poet, blushing bright red before slumping back with her head almost literally steaming. “Guh. Kweh… I am really gay and I don’t know how to process this kind of attention.”
She still, somehow, kept enough presence of mind to just toss the entire bag of Red Orbs vaguely in Weiss’ direction.
“Just tell me when you all want to leave for my place.” Ruby tilted her head. “Be aware there will be a slight jolt, neither of you can ignore the Rules at will.”
Blake blinked, turning to face Ruby. “What was that about a jolt? And- weren’t we waiting on food? Seems a little early to leave when it isn’t even here yet.”
“I can retrieve it.” Ruby shrugged. “We won’t be that far.”
“... Are we talking a different location in this plane of existence or do I need to practice my portal making skills?” Blake mused, more to herself than to anyone else, really. She paused, then bit her lip slowly. “... Also, if you’re inviting me back to your place just know that I uh… usually sleep naked. And that I don’t… have any pajamas. Because I forgot to pack them… like an idiot.”
“That’s fine.” Yang waved a hand, laying on the ground almost like a cat now. “Ruby’ll hit you with sleep cuddles and some of her grabbers have suckers on them, so you might wake up with hickies on your everything.”
“I mean, I have a spare t-shirt if you want it.” Weiss offered. “Benefits of having a weird extra dimensional storage space, you can just always have your entire wardrobe on you at all times.”
“Where we’re going, we don’t need clothes.” Ruby hummed. “It’s my Dream. What is the ice-cream flavor you’ve always wanted, but never found?”
“...” Blake pursed her lips, filing that tidbit away for later. “... Cherry Garcia. I don’t think it exists on Remnant, come to think of it… I may or may not have hallucinated its existence the one time I tried mixing catnip with weed. It has to exist, though, right? Cherries exist, and chocolate ice cream is easy, but no one’s made cherry ice cream with cherry and fudge chunks so far as I know.”
“I miss Wano-styled peach wine.” Yang quietly mumbled, tapping her stomach idly.
Weiss quietly filed Blakes comment about Cherry Garcia not existing on Remnant for later. “I’ve been really craving Mint Chocolate Chip for a while…”
“I have them there now.” Ruby nodded and swirled her cloak, small cups of ice-cream appeared in a swirl of mist. “Excess and murder are my Dream, and ice-cream is second only to cookies.”
“Gimme,” Weiss responded without hesitation. “This isn’t going to cost me my soul or anything right?”
“I’m pretty sure I have experience giving up my soul for dumber reasons than my favorite ice cream,” Blake shrugged, not even hesitating to grab one of said cups. “Please don’t actually take my soul, though. I need that and the other parts of me get really pissed when my soul is gone.”
“What would I do with those? I don’t want to get pregnant yet.” She visibly shivered at the word, slightly too sharp teeth biting her lip.
Weiss paused, her spoon of ice cream still in her mouth. “I’m gonna choose not to question whatever you just said.”
“This is a much weirder experience than I thought it’d be,” Blake nodded, already halfway through with her cup. “But thank you for the ice cream. And… hm…”
She paused, furrowing her brow slightly as she squinted vaguely, looking at Ruby’s face with a tilted head. “Hm… Now that I think about it…”
And then she started humming a tune that, really, should have only existed in her memory, and perhaps in Ruby’s.
“Why are you summoning my aid? I’m right here.” She seemed genuinely confused. “Though you do have a good voice for it.”
“Just… checking that I wasn’t hallucinating what I thought I was,” Blake answered, biting her lip before nodding to herself resolutely. “There’s dimensional shenaniganry afoot. Moreso than I already assumed there was, honestly. And I can’t believe I actually get to say that out loud for once. Wild.”
“Yeah well… Jii-ya-kazing.” Yang flatly hummed, clapping her hands together loudly.
“That’s my cousin.” Ruby waved a hand and the world went left, right, sideways, through a car wash, ridown, through a swamp, did a loop-de-loop, and landed in some ink. “The first time’s the hardest.” Her hand waved to the side. Around them music faintly pulsed, the concrete buildings covered in so much graffiti it was hard to tell it was actually concrete . “Welcome to Inkopolis. You’re a squid now.”
Weiss immediately flopped to the floor the moment there actually was a floor again anyway. “No amount of flying through the air could ever prepare me for that. Wait, did you say Inkopolis?”
“Oh god I’m a kid now,” Blake mumbled, holding her head and shaking off the rough jitters. “Guh… ow… I’m gonna say… I definitely prefer my portals and wait oh my god where are my ears.”
What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuuuuuuuuuuuuck. Did her actual literal cat ears just get replaced by a pair of (admittedly stylish) cat ear headphones!?
“What the fuuuuuuuuuuck….” Blake whispered, staring at herself in the closest window. “What the fuuuuuuck.”
Weiss glanced down at her now ink based cybernetics. “And I thought I had already experienced the weirdest thing ever… Wait a minute, I wonder…” She paused to consider before closing her eyes and concentrating. Soon enough she dissolved into ink and there was a simple light blue squid in her place. “Woomy!” She called out.
“Veemo,” Blake deadpanned, pushing herself up with a huff. “... Wait does this mean if I use Devil Trigger that’s going to be an octo-kid too?”
“Probably. Maybe you’d just become a Kraken variant.” Ruby tilted her head. “Don’t try that here. They’ll try to arrest you and I’ll have to say no. It’ll be awkward.”
“Like when I showed up and they couldn’t figure out what I was.” Yang hummed from her spot on the bed, before she held her leg in the air. “Very funny the first time. Very awkward after that.”
“Right…” Blake nodded, then stared at Yang. “Wait, how are you still yourself when Weiss and I turned into… uh. Well. A squid and an octo-kid respectively. What the fuck?”
“I feel the change try to settle and I just flare my Haki till I turn back. Can you not do that?” Yang asked back, clearly poking a bit of fun at the two of them and their predicament. “It’s not hard…”
Weiss returned from squid form to kid form, “I mean, not really.” She shrugged. “But, it's not exactly that different. I don’t really mind it.”
“It is hard, you’re just absurdly good. I’m also not trying too hard to force you into shape.” Ruby smiled. “You’re in my world now, not your world, and I am the friends on the other side.”
“Not exactly making me more confident you’re not going to steal my soul.” Weiss commented.
Ruby leaned forward, staring directly into Weiss’ eyes. “I can be your new mommy if you want me to.”
“... Okay so I’m gonna go out on a limb here and assume that none of us are technically supposed to exist in Remnant the way we do,” Blake sighed, looking around and frowning. “So. Hi, I’m Blake. I’ve got the memories of the world’s… arguably edgiest father and arguably strongest Demon in my head, and I’m fused so deeply with said Demon that I’ve got all his powers and skills. I also developed a case of severe spreadsheet based autism, but let’s not get into that part. What about you guys?”
“I now have a gun that creates infinite coins that somehow always hit their target. And multiply any damage. And a bunch of cybernetics but that was obvious.” Weiss shot Blake a look. “Also, spreadsheet autism? Is this what I think it is? Could I have gotten away with actually killing my father earlier?”
“Probably. Oh god, I need to call my parents. They’re actually good parents this time around,” Blake groaned, dropping her face into her hands with the sound of pure and utter exasperation. “Fuuuuuuuuuck… I just realized I’ve ghosted them for five fucking years! Dammit!”
“You should do that, I have memories of good parents, they’re great. I really landed with a total asshole.” Weiss froze considering. “And memories of being right handed. It's incredibly weird to be left handed with those. Do you know how hard finding a pair of left handed scissors is?”
“Thank fuck, no,” Blake snorted. “I have a mastery of swordsmanship so powerful I can literally point at something and it’ll fall apart if I want it to. Why would I need scissors?”
Looking at Ruby as their houseguest squabbled over small things, Yang raised an eyebrow and then looked at them pointedly, saying ‘me first or you?’ without words.
“I am Ruby Rose, the Good Hunter. I was someone else before that, but that person is mostly lost now. All that remains are memes, the DNA of the soul.” Ruby hummed. “I am the first of my line. Unless…” She stared at Weiss.
“Blake help, what do I do…” Weiss whispered. She didn’t have any experience with this. “I don’t think I’m ready to settle down yet.”
“Outta my way gay bitch I’m boutta get it,” Blake deadpanned flatly.
Thankfully, Yang decided to intervene and come to poor Weiss’ rescue, spritzing Ruby with a spray bottle that had the added effect of running her ink. “Ruby, no. Bad.”
“But I want kiiids. And Weiss would be a good kid.” Ruby ducked away from the bottle, slightly covering her head. “She’d be perfect! It wouldn’t even take that much time. She’d be back at Beacon in like… a day or two. My kids grow up fast. And then she’d have a good mom! And family! And I’d have a kid I could dote on! It’d be sooo great… and I’d get to be pregnant and… mmmppf!”
Ruby… flopped onto the ground, giggling.
“Ah, her frenzy is too high.” Yang shook her head before spraying Ruby with the bottle again. “Anyway. I was the King of Beasts, had the party of my life, and then got turned into a cool rock before I was the hottest bitch in the world. Nice to meet you, and still even better to meet me.” Her smirk couldn’t be pried off with a crowbar.
Blake sighed. “Here’s to giving Ozpin a stress ulcer. So. Let’s go fuck up Initiation tomorrow! And where the fuck is the takeout?”
Weiss hummed. “A stress ulcer? I think we can manage at least seven by the end of the semester. Go big or go home. Or thirty if we replace whatever is in his mug with Kaiju Blue.”
“Mrrgh.” Ruby pulled herself off the ground and wiped away some blood. “Right. Lemme get the food. Weiss- offer’s open. Blake… I want to tap that ass too much and it’d be weird. Later.” She promptly disappeared into bloody roses.
“Alright, food and then sleep! And maybe get railed tomorrow!” Blake cheered. “Here’s to a great year at Beacon!”
“Ahem.” Yang pointedly cleared her throat, before gesturing at her chest. “What was it you asked?”
Blake blinked. “... I can get railed while I suck your titties. We’ll figure it out once the food gets here.” Yang’s pointed look shifted to a smile, and a bump of her eyebrows.
And so they did.
Chapter 8: Beacon Days - Initiation Day (Blake 3)
Chapter by Argo_The_Rat, CyberQueen_Jolyne
Chapter Text
Another day, another speech by Professor Ozpin. Honestly, the highlight of the morning so far was watching some of the less confident extras bumble their way through trying to not look at people too hard in the communal locker room they’d been provided. Even then, Blake spent most of that time admiring her ass in the mirror.
She may cover up with a big-ass greatcoat most of the time, but she did, in fact, do about twenty thousand squats for her perfect ass, and god damn did it fit the label of Bellabooty.
Oh, and she also got railed for most of the night after eating a truly devastating amount of salmon sashimi, but that was uh… something she didn’t want to focus on for fear of falling into a lust-addled daze. And right now, she actually had to pretend to pay attention to the fact that Ozpin was… basically telling them, seek and destroy, and don’t die.
Jaune was as useless as she’d come to expect from him, asking about landing strategies and parachutes and whatnot. Strangely enough, this time he hadn’t made a pass at Weiss at all, and in doing so he didn’t… really talk to Pyrrha? Blake recalled that the most interaction they’d had was Jaune sort of awkwardly scooting by Weiss and Pyrrha’s lockers to get to his own. Also he seemed to have been covering his chest a lot?
…
That was probably a sign of something, but whatever it was, it could wait.
“So, do you want to pretend to follow the rules of this whole exercise, or are we just breaking it for fun the moment we get launched?” Blake asked vaguely in Ruby’s direction, one hand on Wilt’s hilt while the other adjusted Gambol Shroud across her back. Still wasn’t used to the oddity of the weapon arrangement, honestly. She’d need to do a bit of balance training to acclimate later. “I’m fine either way.”
“I shall… observe.” Ruby’s eyes were locked on Jaune before darting to a few others. Nobody important, really, basically badly rendered silhouettes, but maybe there was something to them if they got her eye. “So we shall break it. I want the queen piece. Yang always steals the queen pieces and I deserve to be a pretty princess.”
“Right. Queen piece it is,” Blake grinned, then straightened up and swept her hand through her bangs. It… didn’t do anything, but it was a familiar gesture from part of her that she didn’t indulge much, so it was fine. Even if she kinda lamented the fact that she didn’t have cool spiky hair. “So… can you fly? Just checking before we get inevitably launched into the forest like a bunch of rocks.”
“Well enough.” Ruby swept her gaze out past the cliff. Her hand was briefly covered by her sleeve before emerging with a small mace. “Meet you in the forest?”
“Honestly, I was kinda planning on just grabbing you midair and gliding down?” Blake shrugged, shaking out her leg. Violet flames licked over her form, subtle and not too attention catching in the morning light, but visible nonetheless. “It’s been a while since I’ve used my Devil Trigger. Honestly, I don’t think I’ve seriously used it at all since I got it except to go flying with Ilia- uh, story for another time. You okay with getting princess carried by a flaming cat demon?”
“Absolutely!” Ruby smiled as the chunk of other people being flung off a cliff got louder and louder. “Tonight you get to take me to bed.”
“Oh god please don’t expect me to top,” Blake blushed, fanning herself. “I’m barely a service top and-”
Whatever else she could have said was summarily cut off by the loud KA-CHUNK of the platform under her feet launching her into the air at approximately two hundred miles per hour, the surprise of which caused her to squeal and tumble ass over teakettle until she got a handle of herself again. Fortunate indeed that tumbling through the air like an absolute idiot let her essentially air-brake hard enough that she wound up on just about the perfect interception path for Ruby a few seconds later.
So all she had to do was line herself up, hold out her arms, and-
“This. Is. Power!”
Sin Devil Trigger. The True Devil’s form. Flames washed over her body and transformed skin and cloth into demonic armor and bone, glowing between the cracks with a hellishly violet light. Every part of her body became optimized for death and destruction. Fingers became claws that could rend armies, arms became tools of total annihilation.
There were probably some other edgy descriptors she could use to help that along but honestly at the moment she was more focused on making sure Ruby didn’t have any pointy bits poking into her while Blake carried her. Because Ruby’s skin was still normal-ish skin and her body was… normal…ish… enough that she could still feel the pain and annoyance from getting constantly jabbed in the butt by an immovable, halfway indestructible bone spike protruding from her arm.
… Not that she had one of those. Honestly, her Sin Devil Trigger form was really remarkably sleek and plated as opposed to scaly and pointy. A-anyway.
Catch Ruby. Slow down a little in the air… romantic flight above the forest for a bit before they annihilated every Grimm they found?
“Welcome to Air Devil Trigger,” Blake couldn’t help but be dumb and cheesy as she caught Ruby, flaring her wings in a burst of yet more violet flames. “I'm Blake Belladonna and I’ll be your captain for today’s long, romantic flight above the Emerald Forest. How are you?”
“Excited about tonight.” Ruby hummed. One hand managed to somehow wind around Blake to squeeze her butt. Which was… an accomplishment, considering how the Devil Trigger armor made her not squishy. “You think Ozpin wondered where we were?”
“P-probably!” Blake’s voice in this form made stuttering like the blushing bottom/service top she was into an interesting sounding experience. Still, she managed to keep flying in a straight line at just a slow enough speed that the wind wouldn’t whip away their words. “But if he doesn’t pull us aside now, I don’t think he’ll care that much if we vanish later anyway. So uh… yeah. Do you want to just go straight to the ruins north of here? It’s only a few minutes away even at this speed.”
“Just one second.” Ruby held her hand out and a truly massive bow slipped out of her sleeve. Her eyes narrowed as a giant arrow, basically a spear, joined the bow and pulled back. It held for a second before a whoosh sent it onto its way, neatly connecting with Jaune's hoodie. “There. Let's go.” The bow disappeared into mist.
“... One of these days, I’m going to have to figure out how to make my own pocket storage,” Blake muttered idly, then began accelerating slowly towards the ruins in the distance. “I’d use the Yamato to cut open a portal, but the last time I tried I lost a scroll into the in-between.”
She paused, tilting her head slightly. “... You have spooky eldritch powers- have you ever found a random scroll just floating around between spaces? Because it’s probably mine.”
“I've found many things between. Glass bottles. Left socks. Underwear. Car keys. A scroll… mm.” Ruby tapped her chin for a minute. “Once, I think. I cloned it then factory reset it to give to Yang. There was… a lot of porn on there.”
Blake almost fell out of the air. “Oh god you found my porn!? Wait shit that means you saw my nudes too! Fuck!”
“That is what we'll be doing tonight.” Ruby leaned up and brushed her mouth against Blake's ear. “I can be the tentacle monster you always dreamed of.”
“Mrhgdsfhsdlgsdf…” Blake trembled, somehow managing to blush despite being a mostly pitch black armored cat demon at the moment, thanking her lucky stars that she could start her descent path before she crashed into the ruins they were heading towards. “If you’re that rough I don’t think I’m making it to class tomorrow morning… that and I don’t think I want to be pregnant… yet.”
“Nnngh…” Ruby shivered. Her breathing was heavy and the only reason she didn't, gently, bite Blake’s ear was the jolt from landing. “Later, then. I'm holding you to that.” She looked out over the ruin the relics were in. “Why does it feel like something’s missing?”
“I was expecting a giant Nevermore,” Blake mumbled out, not bothering to set Ruby down despite letting her Devil Trigger fade away into sparks and ephemeral ghost flames. “There’s no giant Nevermore here. Did Qrow kill it earlier? Tss… no epic fight scene, then.”
She paused, tilting her head in consideration. “Then again, if things play out right, Jaune and Pyrrha might find a Deathstalker I could do some light exercise with.”
“Let them handle it. We can do a Salmon Run later.” Ruby marched forward and snagged the Queen piece. The black one. It felt like that one was important for some reason. “Do we just… leave now? Yang and Weiss can take care of themselves… hm. Might switch up the teams though. Who else is in this year?”
“Well there’s us, Weiss, Yang… Jaune Arc, Pyrrha Nikos, Lie Ren, Nora Valkyrie… a bunch of random people that I fully expect to die within six months of graduation, Cardin Winchester, Sky Lark, Russel Thrush, Dove Bronzewing… who are all included in the ‘die six months post-graduation’ group…” Blake counted off on her fingers, then hummed. “Oh, and I’m pretty sure I saw a group of people who might end up being halfway interesting, but they’re in another testing location so all I remember was a snake Faunus girl with really tight pants.”
“...I want to meet her.” Ruby grunted and wiped away a little drool. “Hopefully we'll find more interesting people. The future defenders of the world should be impressive. Or skilled at least.”
“I know one of the upperclassmen is a White Fang auxiliary supporter,” Blake mused, tapping her chin lightly. “A few members, actually. There’s a lot of Faunus that end up coming to places like this to help add better fighters and teachers to the Fang. Hopefully the Vale branch will stop being so suicidally self destructive now that Adam’s gone, though… better they learn self defense than… well. Everything else. Uh, that’s not really important right now, though. I wonder if Velvet still remembers me… we only met the one time Adam and I had to go to Atlas for some… business…”
“She probably does. That ass is hard to forget.” The queen piece disappeared up Ruby's sleeve. “Yang mentioned something about the White Fang. She's either running it or knows who is running it now. We can ask later. Vale is pretty good about the anti-racism laws, and racist candidates for office tend to disappear.”
Blake blinked. “... I’m sorry Yang did what? Wh- how? I killed Adam less than a month ago, how did she already manage to take over the Vale Branch!? I mean, it’s good that there’s new leadership in charge but…”
She paused, grimacing. “Dammit, that means that a lot of what our intel told us about Vale’s entire government was faulty and just there to fuel Adam’s crusade. Shit.”
“Yang works fast. And is a very tall dragon lady. I don't know many people willing to say no to her for one reason or another.” Ruby shrugged. “She has fun with it. I think she needs people to dote on and rule over or she gets nervous. It's a better hobby than Adam, apparently. He sounds like a dick. I don't think I've met an Adam I've liked. Ever.”
“Yeah well, he was a creep and a weirdo and not in the good ways either,” Blake snorted, kicking a random pebble and yawning quietly. “He really wanted to have sex with me since the day we met. Despite the fact that he was eight years older than me, and we met when I was twelve. I can’t imagine how much more mentally fucked I’d be right now if I ever thought he was cool enough to reciprocate. Oh, I should call Ilia at some point. I didn’t tell her when I was leaving, just that I was.”
Ruby perked up. “Ilia?”
“A friend from the Fang. We split up about… two or three years ago? She went back to Menagerie to serve with Sienna, I went to Vale to keep Adam from killing too many innocent people,” Blake hummed quietly, bouncing her leg and staring off into the distance. “She’s from Atlas, it turns out. My parents really liked her, before we more or less ran away together. What else… what else… It doesn’t matter. We’ll probably see her again at some point. Ilia has this really weird knack for showing up out of nowhere whenever it’d be suitably dramatic.”
There was a short pause as Blake took a quiet breath, letting it out slowly. “... Shit. I never did clarify on what our situationship was before we separated. Dammit.”
“That sounds like something you should deal with. We could probably do it over the weekend sometime. I have been wanting to speak with Sienna Khan…” Ruby hummed a song without words, “How is she? There's something I need… mm. No. It'd take too long for someone working. I'll ask someone else later. I still wish to meet her, but not for that.”
“Sienna is… fine. I haven’t had any communications with her in… months, really,” Blake shrugged, continuing to just stand around and more or less do idle animations because there was nothing else to do. “She usually only does wellness and progress checks, or if she needs clarifications on reports. Adam left all of that to me because he was too busy being a broody loner while I…”
Blake cleared her throat, blushing and looking away with a grimace. “... I’m pretty sure Sienna was getting fucked by my parents before she decided to leave and do more radical protests five years ago. So. She dotes on me a little. It’s very awkward sometimes.”
“So you're saying she's single?” Ruby smiled at the idea. “I already wanted to congratulate her, but that way I can do it in a more direct manner. Otherwise I'd have to ask her if she wanted some blood, and that might be awkward. Maybe it's a bad idea to give her immortality and ink powers, but I like to think it's making things more interesting.”
Blake made a face at that. “Please don’t fuck my aunt and me. It’s really awkward and I’d rather not have to see a woman who half raised me naked. Or think about her naked. Or…”
She paused, then frowned. “... Ugh. Intrusive thoughts. Dammit.”
She really didn’t want to remember that her aunt Sienna was her gay awakening, dammit. There was way more trauma attached to that moment than she wanted to revisit.
“Oh, right. Some people don't like that.” Ruby shrugged. “I'll offer her my congratulations then, and my patronage. She has been an excellent Hunter, and I've been… getting a little antsy even with my kids. Someone closer to blood would help. Best would be Weiss, but I don't think she'll take it. Soon at least.”
Ruby paused. “She has a sister, right? And other siblings. And parents. Wait… not the father. I already beat him bloody and stole stock.” A giggle. “He won't be having children ever again and I own a good… ten percent of the SDC? Somewhere around there. A touch below getting on the board. Need to buy a little more legitimately to hide the theft.”
“I need to go stab that man a few times,” Blake nodded, glad for the change in subject. “Do you think Weiss would agree to letting me execute him on a global broadcast for Faunus rights? Y’know, what with the SDC being the main source of Faunus rights violations at the moment… not that there aren’t other problems worth stabbing in their sleep…”
“I prefer stabbing people in the face after they've given their best. It's only polite.” Ruby gently kicked at the wall of the ruin. It… didn't sound like stone… “Weiss probably wouldn't care. I think Yang has a bunch of shares too, so we could probably get you onto a meeting of the board. Kill all of them at once.”
“Nice.” Blake grinned a little evilly, then cleared her throat after looking around one more time. “... Man, I was expecting more stuff to happen. Standing around like this is boring… we shoulda gone through the forest. Do you wanna see if we can’t attract a few Grimm just for fun?”
“If you like.” Ruby raised her hand, a little bell clutched between two fingers. “Be ready.”
It rang.
The
World
Hated
That
“Hm. More than expected.” The howls of Grimm sounded, mixed with mad laugher and screams. The world a little bloodier, a little less in the present. The flat black of Grimm mixed in with bloody men and women, outlined in red. “Did a great battle happen here, once?”
“I mean, the Great War eighty years ago,” Blake blinked, taken aback by the sudden appearance of… all of that. Still, she wasn’t scared. Just a little surprised. Honestly, there wasn’t much that was a threat to her in this forest. All of this, though… Hmmmm…
She smiled, ducking into an Iaido stance and allowing her power to flare like a curtain of pressure over the bloodied world. “Hey, Ruby. Do you wanna see something really fucking cool?”
“Of course.” Ruby turned and waved at the approaching horde with a little bow. “Your enemies, dear Hunter.”
Blake took a deep breath. A flaming circle encompassed the field, surrounding all enemies at once and marking out the border of her next move. Sin Devil Trigger flared into existence a moment later, and when her power peaked-
“Slay all.”
Her enemies fell.
Chapter 9: Beacon Days - Initiation Two Electric Boogaloo (Weiss 2)
Chapter by Argo_The_Rat, CyberQueen_Jolyne, desolatedsabers, InternecionWitch
Chapter Text
It’s certainly a strange thing for Weiss to have seen a Dragon Lady pout, but somehow and someway, she has. Which was to say, Yang was pouting, and the reason for that was simply that Ruby had decided to go with Blake.
She wasn’t sure if she should be offended or not. On one hand, she got it, they were sisters and being thrown to the side without warning was kinda a dick move. But, on the other hand, she did not blame Ruby for going after Blake’s ass.
“So… Since the other two have fucked off I guess that makes us partners.” Weiss stared into the distance as the pair flew off, Ruby in Blake’s arms. “We're probably gonna get launched in a second, got any ideas?”
Yang hummed, shifting in place as she watched more of the hopefuls get flung into the forest. “Find the Queen Piece. I know Ruby, and she always made a big deal about them, which is why I’d always yoink them to fuck with her. Other than that? Once we’ve met up with them, swoop in to save Jaune and whoever he’s teamed with from that Deathstalker. Anything else can wait till later… unless you want to do something?”
For some reason it felt like Yang wasn’t used to asking other people their opinions. Or at least, on an equal level.
Weiss had a manic grin in her eye. “I’m gonna railcoin the Deathstalker. Other than that? So long as we’re fast enough to grab the other Queen Piece we should be fine to do whatever. Do you think the Nevermore is still around?” Obliterating the Deathstalker would be fun, but the Nevermore was a giant flying bird, it wasn’t even a comparison.
“If it hasn’t already shown up to snap Ruby out of the air? Probably not.” Yang shook her head, before stepping forward and bumping her shoulders. “Let’s get going, or we’re gonna be here all day.”
Without any further ado the platform under Weiss sprung up, launching her over the forest. Unfortunately she reached the apex of the launch relatively quickly. Weiss pulled out her rocket launcher and began rocket riding, angled slightly upwards, in order to extend her airtime and stall a little while Yang catched up.
Yang, who was running along on giant flaming clouds instead of anything normal, like riding on a rocket or something. “Don’t need to wait, y’know! I can catch up!” The Dragon woman let out a holler, before jumping up, wrapping an arm around Weiss’ shoulder, and then letting the both of them drop. “Now c’mon! We’re burning daylight!”
Weiss quietly wished she could be wrapped up in a little more than a shoulder, but unfortunately they were in the middle of initiation. Later. Under most circumstances the ground they were rapidly approaching would be terrifying, luckily they were both Huntresses and normal had gone out the window the moment their auras were unlocked.
Normal was boring anyway.
Although it was weird she couldn’t feel Yang shroud herself in Aura. “You, gonna shield yourself before we land?!?” She called out through the wind. Having your partner turn into a red stain on the forest floor was probably grounds for prison, or disqualification.
A deep rumbling that could probably be called laughter bellowed out from Yang, as she brought her legs up. “Why would I need to do that!? It’s not that high, and I’ve dropped from higher without it! Are you worried about lil’ old me!?”
They crashed into the floor and created a sizable crater, a foot deep maybe, kicking up dirt and uprooting more than one tree around them. Weiss was just left, dangling, still being held onto by the significantly taller woman.
“I wanna bite you.” She said mostly on instinct, and in a less than elegant way before her more rational mind could actually stop her.
Snickering at that blunt admission, Yang pumped her arms to load her gauntlets before putting her hands on her hips. “Yeah? Any specific spot? Someone as small as you would need to pick a puh-retty good spot, or I might get annoyed.”
“All of the above.” Weiss replied from where she had dropped ass first into the slightly charred dirt. It didn’t help that from how she was seated, pretty much all of her new partner was above her. “Please.”
“If you’re good.” Yang winked, before pulling the shorter woman to her feet. “Now c’mon. We’ve got a chess piece to find, and then a team to match up with. We’re going north, right?”
Without actually waiting for an answer, Yang dragged her along by the hand, the forest practically opening up around them as she made a few twists and turns that Weiss couldn’t really figure out the rhyme or reason for. It just seemed random until a lone Grimm popped up every few minutes.
“Are you going out of your way for Grimm?” Weiss asked as she stepped over another rapidly sublimating Beowolf. Unfortunately for the both of them, common fodder just, wasn’t a threat anymore. From what she could guess they were still heading mostly north, but despite being made out of metal she wasn’t a compass.
“Yup!” Her partner cheerfully hummed, shifting in place before continuing through the brush and scrub of the forest around them. “I figured you need Grimm-shit to power yourself, or that it worked as a blood substitute but same difference, and thought ‘what’s a good way to be a courteous friend?’ Or whatever we are, the team's probably gonna descend into something when Ruby starts getting frenzied near you two. And considering you and Blake both love using my titties as pillows I figure I should get a headstart, y’know?”
The smirk on Yang’s face was anything but hesitant. One that said she knew precisely what she was doing, rather than the way her words tried to sound any amount of courteous or hesitant. Whatever it is…
“Oh- I, thank you.” Weiss managed to eventually commend after she got over her shock. She definitely remembered being treated nice before but, “I never really got this in Atlas. I sort of just, stopped expecting it I think…” She bent down to the Beowolf she had stepped over earlier. She always needed more fuel after all.
She grabbed it and let her body absorb the smoke it was giving off. It took a bit of time, not long, but long enough she had to pause walking. Sadly Grimm couldn’t exactly be eaten, they tasted like dirt mixed with gunpowder and charcoal, but absorbing the smoke they gave off like this was fine. “Just for future reference, If my aura ever breaks all my prosthetics are going to shut down and…” she gestured to her three cybernetic limbs. “Just, get me a bit of blood or Grimm stuff and they should reboot themselves.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.” Her partner nodded, before pushing aside a tree with a small grunt. “Any idea where these chess pieces are? I’ve just been vaguely walking toward the largest collection of people I can.”
Weiss looked around. “They should be close enough to some ruins if I remember right.” Regrettably there still weren’t any landmarks around them, just greenery. “I think we might need to get a birds eye view for a minute, see where we are.”
“Alright.” Yang hummed before grabbing her around the waist, pushing her into a very soft place, and jumping so high that the trees stopped covering everything. “Which way from here? Can you see?”
Weiss unfortunately, or fortunately because there was never going to be a time having your head surrounded by tits was ever going to bad, couldn’t see anything. She reluctantly pulled her head out of Yang's chest and got an actual look around the forest.
As they stalled in the air she snapped her fingers and formed a decently sized glyph under them. “I, kind of forget I can do this sometimes to be honest.” She remarked as she looked out over the canopy. The ruins were clearly visible to the north, but far more interestingly she could see Jaune desperately clutching onto a Deathstalker’s stinger to the east.
“We could make a slight detour, right?” She asked her partner. They could always get the other Queen Piece later.
“If we miss that piece, someone else gets on a team with Blake and Ruby. And that’s unacceptable.” Yang quietly intoned, a very dramatic and severe lilt to her voice. “That ass is a treasure that cannot be shared with anyone! Besides, he won’t die. Probably. Look, Pyrrha’s helping him.”
Weiss folded onto the spinning glyph below them. “Oh Woe is me, for mine very own partner hath betrayed and befuddled me to the highest degree.” She wiped an imaginary tear from her eye as best she could before dissolving into giggles from her own idiotic actions.
“Yeah yeah.” She can hear the eye-roll in Yang’s voice before the ring of a bell echoed out, causing a shift in the Dragon woman’s body. “Oh. There they are. Let’s get going.”
Saying that, Yang lit the sky with flame, sprinting forward and only just barely having the presence of mind to not jostle Weiss as she dragged her along toward one of the largest collections of Grimm that Weiss had ever seen.
“That's definitely more fun than going after a Deathstalker.” She looked ahead with wide eyes as her partner pulled her through the air to the center of where the pack was gathering. “What exactly attracted them- Oh that's Ruby and Blake in the middle.” She honestly should have expected them to be in the center of this, yet for some reason it still managed to take her by surprise.
“Ruby’s weird bells can do a lot of shit!” Yang whooped in excitement as she jumped, legs moving in a bicycle motion for a moment before gravity asserted itself, and the both of them became a meteor dropping from the sky, red and black lightning arcing from her partner’s body as she hefted her club with her free hand. “RAIME HAKKE!”
The swing can barely be called a swing, the only thing left after it being a crater in front of the other half of their team, as the both of them slam to the ground, Yang shaking her by the shoulder with a laugh as she waved to Ruby and Blake with two of her fingers. “Yo!”
“Yo yourself,” Blake answered once she’d finally pulled herself off the ground, having stumbled when Yang crashed down. “There’s uh… a lot more enemies here than I thought there were. You also just missed me using Judgment Cut End, which is a huge shame because it looked really fucking cool.”
“I have no idea what that is.” Weiss spotted the other Queen Piece in the distance, still resting on its pedestal. She swiped in its vague direction with two of her fingers and a glyph appeared above it, which then descended down over it and collapsed, safely storing it with the rest of her junk.
“I dunno what that is either.” Yang said, though her face contorted in a weird way as she scratched her cheek. “Is that like a guillotine? Or something?”
“I hate that you pronounce the Ls in guillotine, but no,” Blake deadpanned. She sighed, flipping her hair dramatically before pointing at… probably the screaming ghost of someone who’d died on the battlefield. A moment later, said ghost’s head came right off with the sound of a blade slicing through flesh. “Imagine that, but about a million times. And using a sword instead of just pointing really hard at someone.”
“Did you just decapitate a ghost? How does that even work?” Weiss stared at Blake incredulously.
“They’re physical enough, under the ringing of the bell. Bloodlust and malice sourced from before and after, here and sideways.” Ruby shrugged and lifted a ragged looking katana. “Some can be intelligent, some can be clever, these… aren’t.” The katana slammed into her chest, right through the boob window, and remained for a second. Then Ruby pulled it out with a great flourish. The edge… gleamed wrong , light twisted around it to make shadows even as the ink on the blade moved on its own. Twisted into graffiti that hung in the air around the blade in so many colors. “Boring.”
Then Ruby Quickened forward and started killing. It wasn’t impressive. It wasn’t fancy. There were no special moves or daring actions. It was just… death. Straightforward, no nonsense, death. Jumping between Grimm and shade without pause or rest and killing each in one stroke, two at most.
“... Y’know… somehow this feels kinda wrong without her using a scythe, but also watching a cute girl fucking murder assorted monsters is still hot no matter what, so,” Blake fanned herself lightly, not bothering to even pretend to put up a guard whilst occasionally pointing at random shades and Grimm and killing them with a single blade stroke.
Weiss grabbed her shotgun and began charging up a core eject. “I don’t know, it could be hotter I think.” She launched it into the air in the vague direction of the swarm, there were so many Grimm it didn’t matter where she aimed it. She switched to her railcannon and shot it out of the air, generating a massive explosion that wiped out every Grimm and tree in the vicinity. “Not that I’m complaining…”
“It can always be hotter. But the graffiti blood sword is pretty cool.” Yang grinned, ignoring the way several Grimm were trying to gnaw on her body. And shattering their teeth by flexing her arms and legs. “I dunno, what do you think?”
“I think that I’m gonna be pregnant by the end of this school year,” Blake answered without a single moment of hesitation, wiping her nose for a moment before just lashing out and smacking a Beowolf away with her sheathed blade.
DISMAL!
“...” Blake stared at the word floating by her head in exasperation. “Oh you’ve got to be shitting me. When did I even get a style gauge!?”
ANARCHIC
Weiss looked to her side and saw her own style index appear. “Is, is this because of the bell? Or did the takeout give us food poisoning and we’re all just having one big collective delusion.”
“If it’s a shared delusion, I suppose I’ll have to indulge in it,” Blake sighed, taking a deep breath before dropping into an Iaido stance… and then she vanished in a blaze of purple flames. Twenty feet away, a group of Grimm exploded into a hellzone of visible blade slashes, and Blake’s voice rang out loud and clear whilst she concentrated on clearing the field with extreme speed and prejudice.
It mostly just sounded like she was yelling out default attack lines while fighting. It was almost a little silly if not for the fact that every attack cut down swathes of enemies.
SMOKIN’ SEXY STYLE!!!
Nope. It was just silly now.
“I mean hey, I probably can’t get anyone pregnant.” Yang grinned after a small delay to clean up some of the Grimm near her, before frowning. “Probably. Anyway, regardless of that I think I’d prefer to receive that than give it. Makes it more real, y’know? But if we keep talking about this, Ruby’s gonna-”
“Mmrrgh.” A heavy slash sent a Grimm head flying into the middle distance. Faintly a dudebro could be heard going ‘whyyy’. In a rush of ink and rose petals Ruby was staring at Blake. “You aren’t walking tomorrow.”
“Wha-!?” And like that, the style meter vanished once Blake somehow managed to trip over herself and faceplanted on the ground. “Ruby we have class tomorrow!”
She paused, biting her lip before turning towards Yang. “... Yang, if Ruby breaks my hips tonight can you carry me to class tomorrow?”
“If I…” Yang slowly hummed. “Yeeees… I’ll carry the both of you to class tomorrow.” For some reason that came off as shifty.
“... I’m gonna trust that. I probably shouldn’t. But I’m gonna trust that.” Blake deadpanned, then stood back up and sighed. “If not… I have Sin Devil Trigger. It should be fine.”
And with that, she vanished once more, thinning out the herd of assorted mooks like a lawnmower through grass.
Weiss tossed as many coins as she could into the air, “If I do it right, Yang might have problems of her own. How fast do you heal anyway?” She asked as she shot the coins, each ricocheting into a Grimm. Depending on how fast her partner healed…
“If you can hurt me I’ll be impressed.” Yang said back, swinging her club and deleting ‘that direction’ with an errant flick. “But… well, I guess you’ll learn about it soon enough. Just… Blake? I would recommend an ice pack. Or five.”
Blake, sadly, didn’t respond over the sound of her attempts to raise her style gauge back up.
Weiss squinted at Yang, she’d need to find a way around that if could. Or just ask Ruby for advice on making her sister bleed. Whatever, she pulled out her rocket launcher and started spraying gasoline in, every general direction her team wasn’t. Beacon probably had a way to put out forest fires. Or Glynda did. Hopefully. Regardless she had already launched a rocket so it was a bit too late to stop now.
It’ll be fine… Probably.
Glynda stared at the soon to be team through the security cameras that hadn’t been destroyed yet. All of them were casually watching the forest be consumed by flames. In the background she could faintly make out the other new team to watch, battling an elder Deathstalker while slowly being surrounded by fire. “I want a fucking raise.”
Ozpin sighed and took a drink from his mug. “Yes Glynda.”
Chapter 10: Beacon Days - First Night. First Morning.
Chapter Text
“And finally: Ruby Rose. Weiss Schnee. Blake Belladonna. Yang Xiao Long. The four of you retrieved the Queen pieces. From this day forward, you will work together as Team RWBY. Led by… Ruby Rose!”
And with that, plus some quiet grumbling about premature stress ulcers from Ozpin and a tired sigh from Professor Goodwitch, the ceremony was over and Team RWBY finally got the keys to their dorm, their class assignments and study materials, and also several tailored uniforms in individually wrapped protective sleeves. Yang’s were, predictably, the biggest.
Regardless.
“Hmm… we’re sharing a communal space with Team JNPR next door, and that space has a kitchen, but we at least have a minifridge in here,” Blake mused, having already wandered off to the side of the room and started examining their amenities. “Shared kitchen on one side, bathroom on the other, wardrobe space, desk space… ooh, microwave and an induction cooktop with an included wok. Hm… I could make a trip to the grocery store.”
Yang watched Blake zip around their little dorm apartment, before she looked at the bedding situation. “The beds are too small for me. And we can’t do bunks, cause you’d want bottom bunk and I'd probably accidentally kill you.”
Weiss looked up from where she had collapsed onto one of the beds. “We can just go to IKEA and get you a bed or something, not sure how we’re gonna fit it in here though…” Their room was large enough, but with four different beds it was kind of cramped.
“We can toss out these beds and just get one really big one,” Blake waved off their concerns, continuing to putter about while also starting to unpack her rather meager belongings. Which, in this case, meant a few copies of her shirt and pants, toiletries, a scroll pad, plus some assorted odds and ends and a lot of books. How she fit what seemed like fifty books into one tiny duffel bag was a mystery for the ages. “Oh right. What do your sleep schedules look like? I… can skip out on sleep, mostly. Sin Devil Trigger is self-sustaining for the most part if I just stay inactive. Though, it doesn’t help with my calorie intake if I’m at all in combat…”
Weiss leaned up into a sitting position. “One big bed is fine, I like cuddling anyway. My sleep schedule isn’t much better, being honest. Give me enough caffeine, blood, and a good enough reason though and by hour 27 I’ll be willing to fight Gods.” She reached into a glyph and pulled out her scroll.
“I’d much rather fuck. And don’t call me a god. They’re all assholes.” Ruby stared at the room for a moment. “I could call some of my kids. Redecorate the place. Nobody knows interior decorating like my kids. I don’t get it and I’m the one that dreamed them into existence.”
“... We could do some interior decorating, yeah,” Blake nodded slowly, considering the bare walls and hardwood floor with only a single central circular rug. “... Do you think the Headmaster will get mad if we cover the boards with carpet? I hate cold hardwood flooring in the morning. Oh. By the way, what do you all eat for breakfast? I’m going to make a grocery run and… mm. Find some places I can get some extra spending money. I have a good amount in my Mistral account, but it never hurts to have more.”
“I’ll cover the groceries. But you’ll probably die trying to cook enough just for me.” Yang quietly hummed, actually looking sheepish for once, despite her usual boisterousness. “I get around it by eating a lot, whenever I can, but I need a lot of calories just to keep myself going, let alone fighting fit. I don’t really want to trap someone in the kitchens just to feed me.”
For some reason it felt like there should be an Again at the end of that sentence.
“I’m used to helping cook enough food to feed an entire encampment of White Fang troops and assorted refugees,” Blake shook her head, relishing in the challenge. “Besides. I love cooking and any excuse I can get to do a naked apron gag is a welcome one. And, well. If you’re buying… I’ll cook. It’s not like I need to sleep anyway. Just because you need to eat twenty million calories doesn’t mean you should be embarrassed about it. I’ll drag back an entire whale if that’s what it takes.”
“I can get… so much seafood.” Ruby hummed. “The Salmonids are always eager to fight and they don’t mind their dead being eaten.”
Blake froze, turning slowly to face Ruby before an unholy smile spread across her face. She was even drooling on the spot. “Salmon you say?”
“Yes. Getting their corpses is part of doing a Salmon Run. I… think I mentioned that earlier?” Ruby looked up for a moment before she shrugged. “Inkopolis is mostly entirely seafood. And chicken. Because I like chicken. And noodles. And… some other stuff, but I mostly care about the chicken and noodles.”
Weiss perked up, “Chicken and noodles are amazing and I will eat it every day for a week straight. But if I’m being cooked for in general I will eat it.”
“Noodles have a lot of calories.” Yang said with a quiet smile, before nodding her head, kicking a couple of the beds together, shutting the curtains… and then immediately throwing off her clothes into one of the pre-set hampers and dropping onto the new bunched up beds. “Until we get that new bed, I’ll be sleeping sideways. Use my body as a pillow at your own peril.” She hummed dramatically, before grinning. “Nah, kidding. I don’t mind.”
“Ruby, I need you to throw me into a solo Salmon Run right now,” Blake stated before she turned around enough to see Yang… and froze. “Uh- buh… Um. Hm. Dammit. Now I’m torn. Weh… On the one hand, salmon and groceries… on the other… giant fat titties bigger than most of my torso.”
“Truly, a conundrum for the ages. While you ponder that philosophical question I’m just gonna…” Weiss dove over to Yang before anyone else could steal the prime real estate. “I’ve died and gone to pretty woman heaven.”
“No. No solo Salmon Run until I can be sure you won’t die. Octolings work differently than… whatever you actually count as.” Ruby took a deep breath, then threw off her top. Underneath her skin was a patchwork of… so many different tattoos. No, not tattoos. Graffiti. It shifted and moved, some fading as others came into being. A constantly changing mass. She rolled her shoulders, the graffiti not moving but instead shifting across her skin, revealing new patterns as others fell away. “Come on, I can grab Callie and Marie to help. They never mind being kidnapped from whatever they're doing.”
More importantly than the graffiti, it revealed Ruby didn’t believe in bras. Her tits were… exceptionally perky.
“No, stop. Don’t go. Come back.” Yang grinned, shifting her arms behind her head and humming as she looked down at Weiss. “Plenty of space for a second.”
“I- guh- er- wait- uh,” Blake kinda just looked back and forth like a pathetic lesbian, visibly steaming and blushing bright purple from the demon power surging up beneath her skin. “There’s a lot of boobs in front of me right now I’m kinda paralyzed. Uh- Um. Uh. Um- Buh.”
“Blake?” Yang called out.
“Y-yeah…?”
“I have two titties.” She smirked, waving her fingers from above her head. “C’mon.”
“B-but… Salmon…” Blake whined, but still didn’t move. Her legs, meanwhile, just gave out from under her due to her complete lack of ability to make a decision. “I was gonna make breakfaaaaaast….”
Weiss sat back up, temporarily leaving Yang’s embrace. “I’m gonna do something dumb I’ve never done before.” And like that she took off her own dress, flinging it into a glyph, exposing metallic plating and her own, smaller tits. “Join us Blake, you know you must.”
“Enter the sandwich, Blake. Salmon will be there in the morning.” Yang promised, her eyes glinting with a mildly sadistic glee.
“Hm…” Ruby set one hand on Blake’s ass, squeezed, and then proceeded to yeet her into the pile, “I’ll do Salmon Run later tonight. Pearl and Marina have just become the Inkopolis news reps and I need to have a party with them. Salmon Run will get the food for it and allow me to work with them in a fight.” She tilted her head to the side as she spun around and dropped onto the pile. It might have been calculated so she could burrow her head back into someone’s pussy. Maybe. “Mind two more for breakfast?”
“Ssdhsldgskdfsassldkjfg,” Blake replied elegantly. Still, despite her current gay-ass breakdown, she’d somehow managed to also strip naked while in midair, and also gently clutched her thighs around Ruby’s head through sheer power of being a horny gay bottom. Or something like that. “Hgsdfdfgdffsdfsdg…”
Kissing the top of the frazzled lesbian known as Blake’s head, Yang rubbed the back of the cat faunus’ head with a smile. “I think I promised to scratch your ears and rub your head while you sucked one of my titties? Still want that?”
“Y-yes please,” Blake trembled, flushing even brighter purple and almost catching fire as a result. “I’d- I’d like that a lot.”
And then without another word, she latched onto Yang’s chest and started doing exactly as offered, even going so far as to purr and wag her tail whilst doing so.
“If I had regular hair, this would probably be uncomfortable.” Ruby instead leaned back and rubbed her head against the pussy’s… pussy. “You good there, Weiss? Need any help? I got tentacles~”
How Ruby managed to pronounce a tilde was a mystery.
“Good girl…” Yang quietly mumbled as her chest rumbled, a much deeper purr compared to Blake’s but still projecting a wave of safety. “I’d recommend just laying back, enjoying my titties, and letting Ruby do what she wants, by the by.”
It’s probably directed to Weiss, but it could also be toward Blake, who had all but melted the moment she heard the words good girl.
Weiss glanced between all the girls around her and literally bluescreened, her voice box making the noise of a computer shutting down, her face almost entirely red. She did her best just to nod before being dragged right back into Yang’s embrace.
Life is good for Yang Xiao-Long. And Team RWBY.
“Nya nyanya nya nya nya nyanyanya nya~ Nya nyanya nya nya nya nyanyanyanya nya~”
The sounds of cat singing and grilling fish filled the early morning air, along with quiet footsteps, the sound of sizzling meat, and the quiet clatter of cookware against multiple surfaces metal, wood, and otherwise.
“Nya nyanya nya nya nya nyanyanya nya~ Nya nyanyanya nya nya nyanyanya nya~”
“Oh good, you got the stuff.” Ruby stepped through the door that wasn’t actually open. “Marina insisted on getting a gift.”
“Hey! I helped!” A… rather small Inkling trotted out from behind Ruby. “Holy shit! You got a real good thing going here, doesn’t she ‘Rina?”
“It’s… a lot.” ‘Rina poked her head out from around Ruby. “I should have realized the Onslaught Hunter would be so rich…”
“Ha! I never get tired of the names you have for our girl here.” The smaller one elbowed ‘Rina. “How d’ya feel about them, ‘Onslaught Hunter’, ‘Piercer of the Dark’, ‘Grand Huntsman’?”
“They’re better than yours. Who’d call our creator something as crazy as ‘Party Starter’ or ‘Raver Wave’?” ‘Rina edged out from around Ruby to glare at her… friend? “I don’t even know what that second one means!”
“It means I’m the life of the party. The starter of the first party, even as I also started the first hunt.” Ruby swept her hands back and pushed the Inkling and Octoling forward. “Everyone, these are Pearl and Marina. Pearl is the Inkling, Marina is the Octoling. They’re fun. We killed a lot of Salmonids, which Blake is currently cooking. Marina, Pearl, these are my teammates, Blake and Weiss.”
“Booyah!” Pearl rushed forward in the traditional Inkling greeting and grabbed Weiss’ tits. “Nice to meet you! You’ve got the same color I do, it’s great isn’t it?”
Weiss stared down at the tiny inkling infront of her. “It is pretty great.” She turned her head to where Blake’s, backside , was out and visible. “This is definitely a way to wake up. Not that I’m complaining.”
“I hope you like seafood for breakfast. It’s about the cheapest way to feed Yang and I and if Salmon Runs are as ludicrously lucrative as implied, I’m gonna be getting all the salmon I could ever want,” Blake vaguely waved towards Weiss, setting out a truly enormous spread of breakfast foods upon the hastily put-together desks to form something of a buffet table. She let out a deep breath, adjusting her apron and bouncing up and down a little to really emphasize the fact that she was, in fact, going complete naked apron (well, naked apron and a pair of cute purple slippers), before spreading her arms wide. “Alright! It’s seven in the morning, classes start at nine, and I’ve just finished breakfast. We’ve got: Salmon scrambled eggs, shrimp omelets, chicken fried rice, grilled salmon, grilled tuna, grilled eel, baked salmon, salmon fried rice, salmon omelets, salmon chow mein, chicken chow mein, assorted grilled and otherwise sauteed vegetables because god help me I refuse to be on a team that doesn’t eat their greens, blueberry pancakes, chocolate waffles, fish sausages, regular breakfast sausages, toast, cornbread, peanut butter, jelly… and I picked up a bag of tortilla chips and some off the shelf guacamole I guess. Oh, and a fuckton of salmon sashimi, but fuck you that’s mine. And-”
“Holy fucking shit,” the slap echoed through the dorm as Pearl smacked Blake on the ass, “you ever want any- almost anything, come to me. If we’re banging it’s only because ‘Rina says okay. Right, ‘Rina?”
“You could bounce a brick off that ass.” ‘Rina audibly gulped. “Yes. Yes. I want that ass, Pearl. I want it bad.”
“Yeah, fair. I like my ass but,” the small Inkling looked down at her own ass, and then up at the ass that probably was at least a third of her bodyweight, “I ain’t touching that. Like… damn.”
“Uh- thanks?” Blake sort of froze like a deer in headlights, completely losing all of her previous confidence in the face of yet more people totally down to fuck her. “Yeah- uh. I’ll do that. Um…”
She paused, then vaguely motioned to the fridge. “... I also hunted down some venison last night but that’s for… later.”
Marina took a deep breath. “She can hunt? I… I didn’t know I could want to fuck someone this bad.”
And on that note, the door to the showers opened, showing Yang, bare as the day she was born and rubbing her hair with a towel before spiking it into a hamper and sniffing the air. “Smells great! Good job, Blake. Speaking of good job, my nips still burn. Hey shrimp, hey ‘Rina.” She hummed, before dropping onto a chair and then blinking in surprise when it jolted. “O-kay, can’t drop into these chairs. Gonna need to pick up the chairs from home or something.”
“Yang! Nice to see ya.” Pearl waved.
“Good to see you.” Marina waved much less excitedly. “Have you got anything else for me to look at? I fixed up the motorcycle you gave me last time.”
Humming as she immediately started digging into just about anything close to where she was sitting, Yang tapped her chin. “Nothing you haven’t already fixed, no. Haven’t had time to collect anything interesting and most of my crew are focused on making money.” She paused, before frowning. “Actually… I might have something for you. Got a bunch of broken parts, even a couple spider-mech pieces. I’ll call my people and have them bring it over.”
“You’re welcome for those parts,” Blake huffed, giving Yang a rough side-eye. “Still weirded out that you managed to take over the Vale White Fang literally right after I left, but I guess I did remove both the leader and second in command from play in the span of five minutes. Anyway. How is it? It’s been a while since I’ve had to cook so much in one go! Er… like… a couple of weeks, I mean.”
She paused, blushing and fidgeting in place, which looked really nice given that she was, again, only wearing an apron and slippers. “I uh… tended to push everyone else out of the kitchen when it was my turn for a mess hall shift.”
“If you can make shit like this on the reg of course you would. About equal, no… better than Gordon Clamsay!” Pearl gave a thumbs up.
“He is a bit overrated, but he’s very much a top chef.” Marina delicately took a bite. “Mmpf. Ohh, yeah. I like that.”
“It’s very good.” Ruby munched on… basically whatever she could get her hands on. “Definitely better than your chefs, Pearl.”
“This is the best thing ever.” Weiss managed to say between bites of food. “Atlas would hate it but Atlas is weird like that.”
Instead of answering while an entire fish is disappearing into her mouth, Yang just pointed at the four others complimenting her food and nodded. And then leaned to the side to get a good look at Blake’s ass for good measure, bumping her eyebrows as well.
“Great!” Blake preened, purring loudly as she finally sat down and started eating as well. “I hope you don’t mind if I take over cooking for everyone. The cafeteria is good, but it still has restricted hours and a serving size limit. And as I heard once, hunger is the enemy.”
Swallowing the entire fish, bones and all, Yang let out a sigh before shaking her head. “Hearing the words ‘serving limit’ just makes my stomach hurt. I think I’d die if I followed those rules.”
“Which is why I went out of my way to make a meal this big,” Blake nodded. “You need twenty million calories a day, and I need at least ten thousand to be in fighting form. Oh- and one more thing.”
Blake stood up, seemingly blinking in place before reaching across the table and placing down a hefty bag of Red Orbs in front of Weiss… alongside a large cup of steaming hot coffee “Here. For your blood cravings. I took the liberty of collecting a few hundred extra orbs earlier just in case.”
Weiss popped a red orb into her mouth and drank a mouthful of coffee with it. “Thank you, really thank you Blake.” She stashed the entire bag away and started chugging the entire cup of coffee. “Fuck, I love caffeine.”
“Oh, shit. You can drink blood? That’s so metal!” Pearl paused for a moment, then turned to Ruby.
“Yes, I could. Maybe. Keep doing the news and I might ask you to help with something else. Then you’ll get your wish.” Ruby paused. “Is there anything you want, Marina?”
“You already gave me everything I wanted.” Marina hunched into herself. “I don’t want to presume…”
“Hey, just get it out! Beat Drop here is really cool about ‘em!” Pearl wound an arm around Marina’s shoulder, pulling the larger Octoling into a half-hug. “Hey, Blake, you want anything just gimme a ring. Long as me ‘n ‘Rina can taste it I can get all sorts of shit in, fresh!”
“Beat Drop is… new.” Ruby huffed. “But yes, I try to be present and help as much as I can. With everyone, not just my children. Though I do have a special place for you all.”
Blake just shrugged, smiling gently and with good grace. “Just about the only thing I could ask is a steady supply of food so Yang doesn’t have to live on starvation mode. Other than that… Nothing really comes to mind at the moment.”
“Eh, stepmom wouldn’t ever have to do that.” Pearl waved it off. “Nobody in Inkopolis would be caught dead not giving her food. Not that Mosh Starter would do anything, but she gets all mopey and then the sex isn’t as good.”
“You can hear it.” Marina shivered. “And feel it. It gets chillier and the sky clouds. It still makes me nervous.”
“Rain isn’t enough to splat you, ‘Rina, we’ve been over this.” Pearl let out a short laugh. “Some of my best splat battles were in the rain! Pretty sure it was not too long after I got old enough to battle. And Yang showed up! Wanted to clash with my voice! It was awesome! I even got a sore throat after, and I almost never have to scream that loud.”
“Stepmom…?” Blake murmured softly, looking between Ruby and Yang with her head tilted. “... Yeah, that tracks… Hmm… hey Yang, how do you feel about bear meat by the way? I might have to source some non-standard proteins to avoid having to constantly ask the butcher shop for whole beef carcasses.”
Yang would answer, but was currently busy choking on a second entire fish, beating a hand against her chest as she actually blushed. Still, with a titanic cough and a swallow, her diaphragm freed itself, and she gulped in some air, head thrown back and chest heaving. “B-bear meat sounds fff-fine…”
“Great! Ooh, I remember there was a coastal town I went to…” Blake… genuinely seemed to not give a shit that Ruby and Yang were fucking. Instead, she got lost in vivid fantasies of such wild and mystical ponderings as… tomorrow’s grocery list. And laundry, if the mumbling she was doing was any indication. And also the bathroom fan needing a good wipe down. And stealing all the cookware out of the communal kitchen. “By the way I forgot to ask, does anyone have food allergies? I figure no, but it’s um… probably best to ask now before I end up putting one of you in anaphylactic shock.”
“Nope.” Yang shook her head as the initial embarrassment wore off when neither Weiss or Blake reacted, a hesitant smile that felt really at odds with the confident Bitch on display last night on her face. “I’ll eat basically anything I can get in my mouth.”
“No allergies.” Ruby nodded at Pearl and Marina. “My kids don’t have allergies either. They can’t have them.”
“I haven’t found any yet.” Weiss answered as best she could. “If I ever find any that will be an eventful day.”
“Wonderful. Oh, I’ll make a spread for lunch too, then!” Blake clapped cheerily, then paused and stared at the induction cooktop in the corner. “... Hm. Actually, that might be a problem… there’s only so long for a lunch period and if I want to make more for lunch it might have to be simpler foods… Does anyone have anything against a sashimi lunch? I can make a bigger spread for dinner…”
“If we picked up a couple… dozen… slow cookers…” Yang tapped her chin, before shrugging. “Dunno. We’ll figure something out. I figured it out when we were camping over at Signal. Even if my figuring it out was dialing food and then sending out Ruby to attack, polishing it all off, and then cuddling in a sleeping bag. And then… ummm…” She cleared her throat, and that kind of made it clear what happened next. “Yeah…”
“We’ll make it work,” Blake nodded, a fire in her eyes at the challenge of feeding all four of them sustainably. “I’ll make it work, dammit.”
Nodding her head with a smile, Yang can feel herself relax at the fact that her and Ruby being a ‘thing’ isn’t going to completely annihilate any semblance of anything. That’s good.
Life is good for Yang Xiao-Long.
Chapter 11: Beacon Days- Scarlet Splash Teachings (Ruby 3)
Chapter by Argo_The_Rat, CyberQueen_Jolyne, desolatedsabers, InternecionWitch
Summary:
First day of class!
Chapter Text
Class was… class. Ruby… well the only classes she really had any form of experience with, that she remembered, was Byrgenworth. Which she really didn’t attend so much as violently extract books from. They’d been both enlightening and not. Expected, honestly. Since when had madmen ever been good at actually writing down their madness? No matter how much the school professed to be scholarly.
Though all of that was preferable to Professor Port’s class. Or rather- Port attempting to express his own stories of defeating Grimm and the entire team being unimpressed. When you’ve killed something on the level of The One Reborn any story that doesn’t involve a corpse god being partly resurrected just doesn't do it. Unless it’s from one of her kids.
Port is not one of her kids.
At least something interesting came out of the entire thing. JNPR had been the ones staying in the other rooms connected to the main one. They seemed rather nice, but her eyes had been on Jaune. The boy, not man certainly, was definitely oddly ready for this- his entire team had been fed in a manner similar to what Blake did. But probably without the naked apron. To Pyrrha’s visible disappointment, once that’d been mentioned.
That woman was going to eat him alive. It’d be funny. Sparring class was later today, right? Maybe Jaune would show something there. Ruby doubted it, but if there was even an inkling (ha!) then maybe he’d be the one to send into Nantai. Either he’d win, and become dangerous enough to stand alongside the rest, or he’d die. In which case he wasn’t worth paying attention to in the first place.
Enough of him. How was the team taking this?
… Blake was very visibly and shamelessly drawing porn in her notebook. It was good too, with immaculate detailing and linework. It was, also, of her getting railed by tentacles and labeled as “Try With Ruby” at the top.
Yang was slumped over on the desk so that anyone behind her could actually see the lesson, but took hold of Blake’s pencil for a moment and added a ‘small’ amount of thickness to some of the tentacles with a smirk.
Blake blinked. She blinked again. She erased some lines and redrew them wider. And then she glared at Yang. “Touch my pencil while I’m drawing again and I will find out how much force it takes to stab Yamato through your gut. That is one of my very few peeves, Yang Xiao-Long. Please don’t forget it.”
“Touchy, touchy.” Yang teased back, but nodded her head regardless. “I’ll be good. And then you’ll be good too, later.”
“Mrrr… don’t tease me like that after you poke my buttons, it makes me confused,” Blake huffed, blushing slightly and looking away. “And be quiet, otherwise Port might pay attention to us.”
“I only tease because you have the best reactions.” Yang quietly promised, leaning her head against Blake’s arm and nuzzling her for a second before moving back. “And besides, I think he’ll be more focused on his story for the next five minutes before he brings out a Grimm.”
“Mm… yeah,” Blake mumbled, blushing and deliberately pressing herself against Yang a moment later. “... Fine…”
Weiss was just spinning a pen around, at one point she had to try her best to hold back a yawn. “Was the part about his grandfather smelling like cabbages really necessary?” She had given up on paying attention entirely and just started doodling random meaningless shapes on her paper instead.
“I hope we learn about Grimm that aren’t just the bargain bin cannon fodder that hang around literally everywhere,” Blake mumbled quietly, deciding to add a few more tentacles to her drawing before summarily ripping it out of her notebook, spraying it with charcoal sealer, and sliding it over to Ruby. “For later, if you’re interested.”
“Tonight. After Salmon Run.” It'd be a good idea to pull… all of them into one sooner rather than later. Yang's already good, but she's more insurance in case something goes very wrong. Which was a distinct possibility- it wasn't as if they were fighting in their normal forms using normal weapons. The GrizzCo brand stuff was Made specifically to ensure the killed Salmonids were… tender.
“The moral of this story?” Oh, is the point to this here? “A true Huntsman must be honorable!”
It took… a lot not to immediately start laughing. Honorable? Honorable! So fucking funny! An honorable hunter was generally a dead one, and stupid besides.
“A true Huntsman must be dependable!”
Now that tracked.
“A true Huntsman must be strategic, well-educated, and wise!”
A true Huntsman needed a brick of coke and a knife.
The knife was optional.
Not that it was a surprise a school tried to talk up what they taught. They had to make money somehow. Right? Did the school actually take tuition? Ruby and Yang had gotten scholarships, but did everyone else pay? How much?
“So,” ah, whatever, “who among you believes themselves to be the embodiment of these traits?”
Well, no, but Ruby put her hand up anyway. She was, literally, an Eldritch Entity associated with Hunting. She is the very definition of a Huntsman. And Huntswoman. And Huntsthem.
“You, Ms. Rose.” Port pointed to her with a smile. “You believe yourself to be the very model of a Huntswoman?”
“I am. Belief had little to do with it.” She didn't need worship or anything to exist, and it really was a relief to realize that. Not that she hadn't expected it in the first place, but it was a possibility.
“Well, then, let's find out!” Port turned to gesture at the crate he'd kept to the side of the room. Glowing red eyes stared out from it, the same as they had been for the last… how long? Ruby glanced at her scroll. Fifty minutes? He'd been monologing for fifty minutes? How? “Step forward and face your opponent! Or take some time to get your weapon and get changed. I'll regale the class with the specifics of this particular Grimm while we wait.”
“It’s a Boarbatusk,” Blake stage-whispered towards Ruby, completely deadpan. “They all make the exact same sounds and that cage definitely isn’t big enough for an Ursa or a Beowolf.”
“Thanks.” Ruby nodded to Blake, then started taking her shirt off as she walked to the front. Blake, immediately, became a blushing mess, as usual. “I won't need to change.”
“Excellent! The Grimm don't wait and Huntsmen can't either.” Port fiddled with his mustache as he watched Ruby remove her shirt. Then immediately ducked away once he realized she didn't wear a bra. “Ah, in the future, Ms. Rose, while you may not need to wear a bra I would still recommend it. The support is necessary for those as active as Huntresses, and while at Beacon we do have some standards of decency. Mostly to avoid impropriety on the part of the teachers.”
“Makes sense.” As long as he didn't do something like this again it'd be fine. “Shall we?”
Boarbatusk. A good Grimm to test with. Not common, like Beowolves, but not rare either. Any Hunter will encounter plenty of them over time, but civilians and students won't generally have fought them much. Their bone armor renders them generally very resistant to most weaponry, and getting around it is often a pain. Either attempt to stab through the eye, the gaps in the armor, or flip it. Made more difficult by how fast it moves.
Luckily Ruby has something for that. Most isn't all. She reached behind herself to draw out a nasty looking mace. It was crusted with old blood and the handle looked to be barely hanging on, bandaged up as it was. It frankly looked more like a torture weapon than anything a Hunter would use.
Considering the man she'd taken it from it made sense. Considering it was originally a Church weapon it made even more sense. Even if the construction was more in the style of Cainhurst than the Church. An odd confluence. Regardless, it was effective, and would be perfectly effective against the Boarbatusk.
She could have used the Kirkhammer. But.
The Boarbatusk burst out of the cage and Ruby very deliberately turned and gave Blake a wink. Careful to show just a hint of nipple to her, without showing it to any of the rest of the class. Which was… way too easy. Seriously. Shouldn't there be more students? This was a beginner course everyone needed to take.
Blake, predictably, blushed and fanned herself wildly whilst biting her lip.
Ruby gave a nod, then idly sidestepped the charging Boarbatusk. Now, she could just smack it a few times and be done. It wouldn't be hard. However, she didn't get much chance to use the Bloodletter; the Chikage was more her style, but it always was so pretty when she transformed it. So…
“Ms. Rose!” The mace slammed into her chest and dug deep. It greedily took her blood, forming it around itself as the hilt extended. Ruby just gave Port, who looked quite panicked, a nod.
The weapon that came away from her chest could not have been more different. It was a morningstar… of sorts. Wild streaks of bright, bold colors radiated out of the middle. They almost seemed to paint the air, lingering just long enough to make graffiti every time the head moved. The hilt, now long enough for Ruby to use two hands comfortably, was bright and cheery, ending at a streak of color that made it seem more like a double ended paintbrush than the dour weapon it once was.
WHOOSH the head painted as she swung.
WHAM! splashed out as she hit the Boarbatusk. SNIKT popped up around the spikes as they dug into its flesh. WHOOSH BAM! The armor of the Boarbatusk cracked and split as Bloodletter smashed against it, filling the air with floating graffiti. CRAAAACK! With the vulnerable skin revealed Ruby swung once more- SPLAT!- and it was done.
“An… interesting display, Ms. Rose. You aren't feeling… harmed, are you? I'd caution everyone in the class to avoid weapons that could hurt you through use or misuse.” Port chuckled. “Why I remember one student who said her Semblance acted much like that…”
Ruby didn't bother to put her shirt on as she wandered back to her desk. Bloodletter was swiftly transformed back and stored away. Ah, it'd been fun to use it again. She really needed to try it out more, regardless of its inefficiency. It wasn't that far behind the Kirkhammer anyway. Hm. How did everyone else take it?
Blake was just staring. Hard. Also, dripping blood from her nose while her ears twitched violently. She also seemed to be blushing so hard that the top of her head started steaming.
Weiss wasn't in much of a better state. Although she didn't have blood dripping from her nose it was clear that she had a new favorite out of all of Ruby's weapons, that she had seen so far anyway.
Meanwhile, Yang raised her eyebrows teasingly, as if she was asking Ruby if she’d been showing off for the class. There was a small quirk of her lips, but it was hard to tell if it was a smirk or a mild kiss.
“Now, I believe you all understand what you'll be doing in this class, and I seem to have run out of time.” Port chuckled. “Odd how that always seems to happen. Regardless, your homework is to look over Boarbatusks and be ready to explain just how you might manage to kill one. Ms. Rose, you may just explain the reasoning behind why your method worked. Class dismissed!”
“Huh. Actual homework,” Blake mumbled, watching everyone else file out with the bell. She idly packed up her class supplies, standing up with a huff and a stretch. “I don’t think I’m going to be able to turn in a paper with just the sentence I could point at a Boarbatusk and it would die as my essay.”
“Do you think he would accept coins and shotguns as acceptable answers?” Weiss contemplated as she flipped a coin between her fingers randomly. “So long as I explain it enough it’ll probably work out.”
“Your coins automatically target softer areas for maximum damage, right?” Yang pushed herself up and stretched, which did interesting things to the front of her shirt, before dropping with a small bounce. “I can get away with crushing a Boarbatusk with a kanabo because that’s what they’re made for, breaking armor and damaging the soft part underneath. Like a sword pommel. Anyway, what’re we doing now?”
“I must clarify that this isn't an essay.” Port fiddled with his mustache, smiling. “I wouldn't be the sort to assign something like that without teaching you! We'll go over the answers in class and discuss them, then you'll write an essay.”
“Thanks for the clarification.” Ruby hadn't bothered to put her shirt back on. Why would she? It wasn't like she had anything to hide. Plus… this was her kids graffiti. It deserved to be displayed. Like pinning a child's drawing to the fridge, except over an entire world and on her skin.
…
That metaphor may not have worked as well as she thought. Whatever. “I think it's combat class next?”
“Hooray!” Yang cheered as they filed out. “An excuse to punch people!”
Blake slowed down, watching Yang for a moment and biting her lip again. Her ears twitched… and then she pulled Wilt and Blush out of nowhere and carved a portal through spacetime right there in the hallway. “I just remembered something I need to do. You guys go on ahead- I’ll try to be back before anyone notices I’m gone.”
And without waiting for anyone to reply, she dashed through the portal and closed it behind her with an ever so subtle pop of displaced air.
Chapter 12: Beacon Days- Combat Class (Weiss 3)
Summary:
More from the first day of classes.
Chapter Text
Team RWBY wandered into combat class, except for the one member that had left under mysterious circumstances anyway. “Do any of you know why Blake left?” Weiss had to ask. “Professor Goodwitch teaches combat class, and she's probably going to notice that one of us isn’t here.”
Although surprisingly, the scattering of people around the indoor arena (Why was this arena indoors anyway, You’d think they would want gunfire and stray explosions to stay outside, hardlight barrier or not.) Didn’t include the professor. Just a couple teams of students and for some reason an old man wearing a hoodie?
“Glynda ain’t here right now, she’s a bit tied up.” Qrow meant that perhaps a bit more literally than anyone should know, but still. “I’m the instructor for today. Now, most of you passed lesser combat schools, so you should know the bare bones of combat. If you don’t…” Qrow’s eye twitched as glanced at both Jaune and Cardin, though not long enough for either to notice. “Then have fun dying to Grimm. If you can’t learn to fight well, you’ll probably end up a town guard in some backwater village. If, however, you are like my precious baby girls , then you’ll end up just as renowned as me.” Qrow purposefully lowered his hood so he would be more recognizable. He wasn’t exactly a celebrity , but he was well known amongst other huntsman. “For today, we’ll be doing simple spars. Typical rules apply, your aura gets in the red, you lose. Anyone want to go first?”
“Aw hell yeah, punching people!” Cardin, the dipshit, immediately jumped up from his seat with a loud cheer that made him sound exactly like every dumbass jock ever written in a high school movie from the 80s. “Yo teach, I wanna do a team fight! Me n’ my boys against someone else!”
“Oh, I wish I could fight instead…” Qrow muttered to himself, shaking his head. “Anyway, alright, any takers? Yang?” Qrow grinned. He knew just how fucked Cardin’s team would be. “This will be a good demonstration of teamwork against a superior foe. Or a good demonstration of why overestimating yourself is dumb. Either way.”
Yang smirked back at her uncle, before standing up, delicately removing Ember Celica from her arms, placing them gently on her desk, and then picking up Hassaikai and stepping over her desk. “I’ll try my best to not put them in intensive care, but I make no promises.”
Weiss stared at Cardin before shooting Yang a look, “I’ll help you cover it up if you manage to actually kill him.” She wondered what could be put on his gravestone… “‘Here lies Cardin Winchester, he was an asshole and that was his only memorable quality.’ Not like we’ll be losing anything actually important.”
Cardin blinked, then growled. “Hey, just because you’re big doesn’t mean you’re tough! I was gonna ask for a team on team fight, but I ain’t backin’ down from a challenge like this!”
Truly, everything that spilled out of his anus of a mouth made him just look that much dumber. And more punchable.
“If we put her entire team against yours, you’d all be dead, and this room would be destroyed.” Qrow deadpanned. “Besides, Yang is a very dangerous opponent. You’re in over your head, but that’s a lesson itself. Just… Yang, let them show off just a bit, alright? Over too quickly and no one will learn anything.”
Yang rumbled out a laugh, spinning her club confidently and making everyone around her duck for fear of getting bashed upside the head. “Tell ya what. You knock my club out of my arm, we’ll say your team wins. Kay?”
“I’m gonna knock that stupid grin right off your face,” Cardin growled, him and his team all sort of vaguely bad-guy-ing at Yang like a bunch of generic RPG bandits. The low level kind that kinda just existed to get folded like laundry, even at level one. He had, also, apparently taken the time to get changed and grab his weapon in the last thirty seconds, which spoke to just how fast those lockers could retrieve someone’s gear.
“Alright, I’ve got a barrier up to protect the audience, so on my count you can begin. Also, Team RWBY seems to be missing the B.” Qrow hummed, narrowing his eyes. “What’s that about? Skipping combat class isn’t a good idea.”
“I’m right here.” Yang said, gesturing at herself. “I dunno what you’re talking about.”
“B as in bottom, not boob.” Qrow raised an eyebrow.
“She’s…” Weiss stalled in her explanation, was the mysterious disappearance act really necessary? It made actually explaining where she went infinitely harder. “In the bathroom?” She knew it wouldn’t work. But she had to say something. Qrow definitely wouldn’t accept cutting a hole in reality and leaving as an acceptable excuse.
Qrow stared at Weiss for a moment, before sighing. “She cut a hole in reality and ran away, didn’t she? Ah well. Are you guys ready?”
Apparently he would.
“Ready for disappointment.” Yang quipped.
“Ready to smash your face in,” Cardin jeered, as if he and three other mooks weren’t about to fight a literal seven foot tall dragon goddess with biceps bigger than his skinny-ass leg-day skipping thighs. “I’m gonna enjoy this.”
“Hehe yeah, we’ll show you,” Russel snickered, bringing his daggers to bear like, again, the generic RPG bandit mook that he was.
Why did all of them look like they shopped for armor at the local bargain bin fantasy bandit cosplay store? Even Cardin’s stupid armor made him look more like a bandit than some actual fucking bandit clans. Like a low level thug designed to be the level 1 midboss.
“Alright, Team CRDL vs Yang Xiao Long. Begin.” Qrow used his scroll to put their aura levels on the barrier so the class could see. He was thankful that Glynda gave him a rundown of how to use this annoying ass system. “First one to red loses. Well, first ones .” He knew damn well how this was going to go.
And like the bunch of generic thugs they were, Team CRDL all rushed forward as one to start wailing away at Yang. Cardin slammed his mace against her gut, Russel slashed with his daggers, Sky swung his halberd against Yang’s legs, and Dove really tried to hit her weak points with his sword. Out of all of them, the literal only one with any skill to his movements was Dove, and the rest of them were… trying with spirited attempts, but otherwise couldn’t do shit. Cardin was just kinda smacking Yang’s abs like he was ringing a gong with his mace.
The only actual dent in anyone's Aura came to Dove’s when Sky’s halberd accidentally clipped his side, taking away a shred of aura. Yang’s aura was still standing at exactly the same level. Dove seemed to be the only one to realize the absolutely hopeless situation he found himself in, pausing his attacks to stare up at Yang.
Blowing out a breath, Yang nodded her head, ignoring Cardin attempting to take a face shot with his mace, before she began her attack, grabbing Russel by the head and throwing him into the barrier, not even watching him slump against it, before she kicked out at Sky, repeating the process.
And then she turned to Cardin and Dove, who somehow had enough sense to step back, and smiled. “Y’know? It took fifteen people trying to beat my ass for eight consecutive hours to make me sweat. One of them nearly carved open my stomach, actually. And all of them were so much stronger than you that it’s depressing.”
Shifting in place, she put Hassaikai on her shoulder, planted her foot forward… and pressed. “Kneel.”
The wave of something pressed out, crushing the hapless idiots to the ground and planting them there, foaming at the mouth and unable to even twitch. Which actually caused Yang to let out a ‘tsk’ of disappointment. “I thought they’d crumple, not pass out. Uuuugh. Boring. Well, that’s done.”
Saying that, Yang turned around and walked out, the barrier going down around her as the four registered as unconscious to the sensors, walking back to her seat with a disappointed huff.
Qrow, a shit eating grin on his face, stared directly at Yang. “According to the rules, despite being unconscious, their auras were not depleted, and Yang left the arena. Team CRDL wins.” He was being a bit of an ass, but it was too funny not to. “Anyone else want to step up?”
Weiss stared at the incredibly odd professor. He had to know that was bullshit. Hell he probably did it because he thought it would be funny. And to be fair it kind of was. Not that she’d ever tell Yang that.
“I mean if you want me to kill them I can get back in there?” Yang offered.
“Don’t be a sore loser. You knew the rules. Hm… how about you, Jaune Arc? I’ll let you pick your opponent as well.” It seemed like the fair thing to do, given team CRDL had done that beforehand.
“Me.” Ruby was just… there. Right next to Jaune. Who jumped into the arena with a yelp, Ruby following. “See, me.”
Jaune scrambled backwards away “Ruby!? How did- Wait. No no no no no no. Wait wait wait wait. Please tell me that doesn’t count. PLEASE!” He outright started begging Qrow.
“Too late! Ruby, show him what I taught you.” Which was more or less how to be excessively brutal with a scythe. He never did get around to teaching her hand to hand, though… “Same rules as last time, get your gear and let’s see what you can do.” Hopefully this Jaune wouldn’t be a disappointment, but it wasn’t like he could win against Ruby.
Jaune grabbed his gear and by the time he came back Ruby was somehow already ready. Qrow was dragging out the last member of team CRDL. Despite the armor and shield he didn’t feel safe, at all. “Is it too early to forfeit?”
Objectively she was a relatively tiny girl who was kind of adorable with a little raccoon mask around her eyes that kind of reminded him of one of his sisters. But between the teleporting and the way she shredded the Boarbatusk in Professor Port’s class he knew she was something to be feared.
“Right. How will you handle,” Ruby kicked her leg to the side and a Roller flipped around to rest on her shoulder, “this?”
Jaune… didn’t seem to know how to respond, but he still responded . Which was more than anyone had maybe thought he’d manage. He put his shield up and hunkered down behind it, his sword ready to poke forward.
“It seems…” Ruby took a few quick steps forward and slammed the Roller into his shield, “you are maidenless.”
“Ghr!” Jaune’s legs trembled, but he didn’t fall. He managed an anemic sword swipe, grunting as he tried to let the Roller slide sideways off his shield. “Ha!”
Ruby slapped the sword away, expression unchanged. She let her Roller slide off the shield onto to turn the motion into a spin. “Veemo!” Jaune… somewhat managed to block the return hit. Not that it mattered, since he hadn’t set a good stance and was flung out of the arena all the same. Ruby rested the Roller on her shoulder again and threw up horns. “Woomy!”
“That’s a win for Ruby! Knew you could do it, kid.” Not just because it was Jaune , but also because it was Ruby . There were maybe four people on the planet who could fight her, and Jaune was not one of them. “Well, since the rest of your team already fought, how about you next, Weiss? Anyone in particular you want to fight?”
Before Weiss could respond, though, the sound of a sword slicing through reality itself echoed through the arena and a twin pair of slashes appeared in the air. Spacetime folded backwards on itself, and Blake came stumbling through, panting and gasping and also covered in snow. She was also shivering and dragging a wagon covered by a tarp behind her.
“W-w-weh… I really, really, really should have put on pants before I left,” she hissed out, shaking out her uniform and huffing in annoyance. “Sorry I’m late, I was… doing some last minute testing. And also…”
She marched up to Yang’s seat with her wagon, looked Yang dead in the eyes… for about three seconds before her eyes flicked down to Yang’s chest, then cleared her throat. “You have… no idea how hard it was to find a herd of Snowbound Mammoths, but… here. Early lunch… or just a snack. I don’t know how hungry you are right now.”
With no further ado, she whipped the tarp off the wagon, and set a hunk of gleaming, juicy mammoth meat down in front of Yang with a loud, echoing thump. It was still steaming, freshly cooked and looking almost as if it’d been in a smoker for several hours despite Blake having only been gone about a half hour total.
“Itadakimasu,” Blake muttered, then slunk off to find herself an open seat, flopping down tiredly and rubbing her bright red nose. “Solitas is so fucking cooooold…”
Yang opened and closed her mouth, blinking in shock, before slowly turning to Blake. “Can I fucking marry you? Please?” Notably, this would arguably be one of the few times Yang had ever said please.
“Honey, you can do whatever you want,” Blake answered with a casual wave, ruffling her uniform coat to get the last bits of snow out. “I’ve got a whole thirty some tons of assorted meats going in a pocket dimension right now and I refuse to let you starve on my watch.”
Ruby raised a hand. “I can legally officiate weddings.”
Weiss stared at Ruby. “Why can you do that?” Was it because she had created Inkopolis or because she just got bored one afternoon and got ordained.
“Reasons.” Ruby pat Weiss’ shoulder. “Don’t worry about it. You’re joining the family a different way. Unless…”
“No marriages during class time.” Qrow sighed. “It’s actually in the handbook. Apparently a few too many students got… excited after sparring.” To say the least. He’d certainly been part of that with Taiyang, Summer, and Raven, even if he would rather not remember that.
“I’m, just gonna take that advice and not worry about it right now.” Weiss dismissed.
“Pity,” Blake sighed, then slumped over her desk. “Yang, can you carry me to our next class? I’m really cold right now and I want to warm up in your boobs.”
Halfway through her platter, Yang paused before letting out a grunt and physically pulling Blake into her embrace. “I’ll do anything you want, you keep feeding me like this.”
“Mmm~” Blake didn’t really respond so much as she just nuzzled into Yang’s boobs and patted her on the shoulder. “I’ll feed you forever. I like cooking for people too much to stop.”
Nora of all people stood up from the other side of the stadium. “Fight now, flirt later, I call dibs on fighting the white one!”
Qrow glanced down at his own pale skin. “Fun as that would be, how about you fight Weiss, instead?” It’d be a bit extreme if he fought a normal student. Clearly his precious Ruby’s team was filled with monsters, as expected of the sisters. “It’ll be the final fight for this portion. Then we move onto the basic analysis, going over how each person did and what they could’ve done better. Failure is as much a teacher as winning, often more.”
Weiss actually had to think about that for a minute. It was surprisingly deep from a guy in a hoodie that was drinking Absinthe in plain view of everyone. “Sure.”
Nora got up and ran off to get changed into her own combat gear the moment she heard Weiss say yes.
Weiss followed, and shortly enough both of them were in the arena. When the aura monitors came up Weiss' was, mostly full, 95%, which was far above good enough. Nora was holding her hammer at the ready just waiting for Qrow to go ahead and start the match.
“Alright, begin.” He didn’t have to worry about them killing each other in this match. Nora was, if nothing else, incredibly durable, and from what he could tell Weiss was built more for speed and counters than Yang’s bullshit strength. Qrow took another sip from his flask, not caring that all the students saw him. It wasn’t like it was enough to do more than give him the slightest buzz, anymore. He’d have to find a way to up his alcohol intake again…
Nora charged at Weiss with surprising speed for someone holding a giant hammer. Weiss dashed backwards out of the way, jumping above and over Nora in time for her hammer to shatter the floor where she used to be standing.
“No, come back…” Nora feigned disappointment, although the grin on her face showed just how pleased she was to be fighting.
The pattern repeated a few times, Nora swinging her Hammer at Weiss from different angles. Weiss weaved in shotgun pellets and revolver shots as she dodged in every way conceivable, constantly in the air, dashing, or sliding across the arena.
Despite playing almost entirely defensively so far, she was by no means on the back foot. Eventually Nora realized her current tactics weren’t working and transformed her hammer into a grenade launcher, firing a shot in the vague direction Weiss was about to be in. Didn’t have to hit your shot perfectly if you were using explosions after all.
Weiss kept on her current path, sliding directly in front of the grenade. The moment it was in front of her she punched it with her right arm, parrying it. It flew back to its destination and despite her shock Nora managed to brace herself as the grenade collided directly into her.
The explosion knocked her backwards, however she managed to slam her hammer into the ground in order to halt her momentum as best she could. But Weiss didn’t let up, entirely on the offensive now. She burst through the pink smoke shotguns at the ready, switching between them rapidly at Nora to keep the pressure on.
Nora could feel her Aura getting shredded. She dodged around to Weiss' flank and swung her hammer again. Weiss stayed perfectly still and parried the strike, launching the hammer out of Nora’s hands and out of bounds.
“Uh oh.” Nora muttered as Weiss launched a rocket at her, the explosion express shipping her to the floor right next to her hammer.
“And Nora’s out. Good job Weiss.” He should do something nice for her. Like patricide. “Well, now that the fun part’s over, it's time for actual classwork.” Otherwise Glynda would get on his ass, and not even in the fun way. Ozpin… was still drinking, last he saw, so that wasn’t a worry at least. “Alright, we’ll start with what Team CRDL did wrong. Anyone?”
“Existing.” Weiss called out as she made her way back to her seat.
“Not far off. Every choice they made was the worst one. Between challenging the most obvious brute force fighter, to not having a plan, to leaving themselves open the entire time. Yang had the good instincts to not use too much force, thus they survived. On the other hand, Yang, you definitely need to learn to control your strength enough to knock them out without killing them. That’ll be important more than you’d expect, in the field.” Qrow hummed. “Overall, about 80% for you. 10% for team CRDL.” And that was entirely out of pity. “Now, for the other matches…”
“Eh, y’win some y’lose some,” Yang shrugged, still in the middle of eating and cuddling Blake.
There was a pounding on the door of a broom closet, eventually the hinges connecting it to the wall flew off and the door catapulted down to the center of the arena revealing… Professor Goodwitch? “Qrow!”
“Glynda, please don’t interrupt my lessons.” Qrow smiled, just a tad smug. “We were going over the previous matches, but of course you’re welcome to sit in.” He’d already hidden his flask, so he had no worries about her complaining about that. “Of course, the videos are available for you to look through later.”
“You’re not even a professor!” She called out, making a gesture with her whip and sending him crashing up the wall with her Semblance. “Wait, you actually taught the class after you tied me up and left me in the closet?”
“I’ve been a teacher for years .” Qrow scoffed. “Longer than you, even. But yes, I did teach the class. I know what I’m doing.” Of course the main reason he’d done it in the first place was to see Yang and Ruby in action again. It’d been almost a year since he last saw them, but he was definitely happy about their growth. Not that their fights had actually displayed any of their true skills, but… Hm. Maybe he could have them show off fully later. They certainly couldn’t do so in the classroom…
“I-” She lowered her whip and her Semblance with it, letting Qrow fall back down to the floor. “You’re qualified, competent,” She eyed his poorly hidden flask, “mostly competent, and willing to do this?” She seemed to pause to consider before a fire lit in her eyes. “Well consider your application accepted, have fun teaching combat class at Beacon Academy.” She explained before running off.
“That woman needs to get laid,” Blake mumbled, watching Glynda run off.
“Working on it.” Qrow muttered, running a hand through his hair. “Now-” Before he could get them back on track, the bell finally rang. “Guess that’s all for now. I’ll make this easy. Write how you’d have fought against one of the victors today, and how you think you’d have done, instead. Bring it in tomorrow. Don’t care how long it is, but be as detailed as necessary.” He doubted most of them would put more than a few dozen sentences down, if that, but he knew damn well team RWBY would be either the laziest, or the most excessive.
That was definitely one way to get a job.
Chapter 13: Beacon Days- Salmon Better Run (Ruby 4)
Chapter by Argo_The_Rat, CyberQueen_Jolyne
Summary:
Salmon Run!
Chapter Text
Classes had ended… well enough. Nothing too complex or exciting, but it was only the first day. Hopefully her actually interesting classes would bring some actual enjoyment later on, because these weren't doing it. For the most part. Sparring was fun, just for reasons other than strictly enjoying a fight.
Ruby, The Good Hunter, had been in far too many fights to really enjoy it. Or more… sparring wasn't fun. Splat battles were, as was facing Beasts and Kin, but sparring? No. Death was an ever present, if now distant, companion and the lack was disappointing.
Jaune Arc… somewhat made up for the lack. He wasn't in any way skilled enough to be anything more than an afterthought, but he had determination. It'd get him killed, but if it didn't… Ruby wanted to see it. What he'd manage to become, provided he got the skills he needed. Even untrained he had some knowledge of how to do things, some instincts. Raw and unrefined as they were.
The only question was whether he'd actually take it somewhere. Determination could easily become stubbornness, and that will ensure his death. Or someone's, but hopefully he'd be the only one to fall to it. Regardless, there was no knowing where he fell without asking. Omniscience wasn't something Ruby had or wanted.
Too much trouble.
“Hello, Jaune.” The boy in question started, fumbling his spatula for a moment. “Cooking?”
“Yeah. I'm not bad at it, and Ren's keeping Nora entertained.” He shrugged. “What's up?”
“Just wanted to ask where you got trained.” Ruby smiled. It wasn't disarming, but it was friendly. Right? “I think I might talk to Qrow about it. Get them investigated.”
“Oh, they, uh…” Jaune hunched over his pan, looking everywhere but at Ruby, “it was… ah, Eclipse Academy? They got attacked by Grimm a bit ago and the records got corrupted.”
“Interesting.” She'd have to ask Qrow to check the place out. “I was wondering if you wanted more training. Just Qrow's classes can't make up for being taught badly.”
“I'd prefer to handle it myself.” Jaune shrugged. “Wouldn't want to drag anyone else down, right? I can handle it.”
“Alright, but if you ever feel like you need some help I'm available.” Ruby patted him on the arm. “Just check over this contract. It'll take care of your issues, you'd just need to sign it.”
The contract was there, on the countertop. Ruby hadn't put it there- physically, anyway. Contracts simply started to exist when offered. Flora had done the same thing when she'd been around. It was a simple one, easily understood, though whether Jaune would read it or not she couldn't say. Maybe he'd never even look at it. It was his choice.
Ruby wouldn't take that away. Not for something like this.
“Alright. I'll… give it a look, I guess.” Jaune grabbed some vegetables off the table. “Are you going to want the kitchen later?”
“No, I'll be eating out. The rest of the team as well.” There was going to be a party. Not that anyone knew that yet, but it wasn't exactly unusual for a random party to break out on the streets of Inkopolis. Especially after Ruby did Salmon Run. Salmonids didn't really keep well, and she always overdid it. Blake wouldn't be helping in that regard. “The offer was nice though.”
“Just keep it in mind.” Finally Jaune looked at her to give a short, determined, nod. “I don't think I can cook as much as Blake can, but I can try.”
“It won't be necessary.” Blake probably wouldn't enjoy anyone else trying to take the spot of ‘cook’. Ruby turned to team RWBY's dorm. “I'll be going.”
Jaune's goodbye followed her through the door. Now, where was Blake? Mmm… didn't matter. She was doing some space fuckery to keep jumping around. Which meant all Ruby had to do was just a little twist and…
“There.” Her own body disappeared with the rays of the sun. Her boot tapped onto the floor of the GrizzCo locker room, exactly where Blake would end up when she next attempted to teleport. The same twist in the world that removed left socks from dryers and baggage from the labyrinthine maze of airports. “Now I wait.”
What were the GrizzCo weapons on offer today? Hm… oh, dualies. And a splatnana. Nice. Plus a slosher and ‘brella. Rather short ranged. Eh, they'd make it work. Even if the other two were complete idiots Ruby could do this all by herself. Blake probably could as well, but it was a good idea to oversee her as she got used to fighting as an Octoling.
“Whoa-shit!”
And there Blake was, falling out of a portal and having to contend with the fact that she’d suddenly turned into an Octoling halfway through exiting said portal. “Owww… Oh god why does my balance get so fucky… Stupid cat ear headphones… Oh god I just lost half my ears again…”
Still, she pulled herself off the floor a few moments later, shaking herself out and huffing as she swept the dirt off her outfit. “Ugh… oh, hey Ruby. I’m… just about ready for Salmon Run, I think. Once I get used to the difference in body structure… stupid ears…”
“I still find the fact that Faunus have four ears… odd.” Why would you ever construct something like that? Wouldn't the human ears be effectively vestigial? Or cause problems when hearing high pitched noises? Ugh, the entire thing was like some God decided to do something ‘nice’ without thinking it through. So… usual God stuff. “Good. There's a testing area through the door that way,” she pointed, “just grab a weapon and get used to your body. I'll wait for our teammates.”
Blake blinked, sort of instinctively looking over the weapons on loan and immediately picking the splatana. She had no idea what a ‘Mint Decavitator’ was, but it looked like she could do iaido with it, so it was probably the best fit for her style. “Do we really need more teammates? Between you and me… I can’t imagine it’d be that hard even if I can’t use Yamato for this.”
“We don't, but GrizzCo pays out the full amount per person, not a collective split. So we may as well do a good deed.” Also it was nice to work with her kids sometimes. Remind herself of their perspective and their struggles. She'd hate to forget. “Besides, friends are always welcome.”
“Fair enough. I just hope I can figure out how to use this thing quickly…” Blake muttered to mostly herself, idly getting a feel of the weapon she’d chosen and frowning a little. “The weight distribution on this thing is weirdly good, but it’s heavy and unwieldy compared to the Yamato… not like I can’t still swing it fast enough to do a wind slash, but it’s definitely going to be a learning curve…”
That said, she vaguely wandered towards the testing area, before pausing and looking at one of the posters on the wall. “... Do I need to wear the protective suit too? Ooh… orange is not my color…”
“You could probably skip it. Not a good idea though, Salmonid ink isn't really ink and it's a bitch to get off.” Unless you're the creator of the realm and can therefore just will it gone. Only after the fight though, and before then it just feels terrible. All nasty and likely to splat you. “Your choice, but I'd wear it at least at first.”
“... Well it says here that I can get better suits by hitting higher milestone tiers… If I get to a high enough rank I could get the Gold Slopsuit, which…” Blake paused, tapping the chart on the wall with a bit of a frown. “... That’s a horrible name to say out loud. Slopsuit. Ugh. But. It’s a pretty suit. And there’s a limited available Heavy Duty Slopsuit too, which is even better… we’ll see how that goes. Um… so what weapon are you choosing?”
“Dualies.” It's good to get practice in when she can. Dual weapons aren't the sort that she has many of and they are generally quite effective. Wouldn't be good to get rusty. The Blades of Mercy demand no less than the best.
“Hey, so is this room…” a head poked into the room, the pale green Octoling stopping as soon as she saw who was waiting.
“Outta the way!” The boy stumbled to the side as another Octoling, gold, walked in. “Who got you so- oh. Well. Yeah I can see getting a little freaked out seeing War Chant sitting in a GrizzCo locker room.”
“... You sure have a lot of nicknames,” Blake mumbled vaguely in Ruby’s direction, then waved a bit awkwardly. “Hi? I’m Blake. I’m… new, but I’ll try not to drag anything down.”
She turned, muttering entirely to herself now, but still just loud enough for Ruby to hear. “... As long as I can still use my demonic energy, it’ll be fine… Trick and Summon Swords will probably be enough, mostly? Right?”
“Likely. It's low tide right now, so nothing too big will come.” A shame, but necessary. Once Blake is better positioned they'll do a monsoon run. Normally GrizzCo wouldn't even think about it, but things like that get more flexible around Ruby. “Ready to get going or do you two need some time?”
“Nah, I'm ready.” The girl swung the ‘brella onto her shoulder and held out a hand. “Alex.”
“I-” the boy took a deep breath and grabbed the slosher. “I'm good. Cray. My name I mean… it's… Cray.”
“It's nice to meet you.” Ruby swept toward the door, her own Salmon Run outfit (custom) already on her despite not visibly taking the time to change. “I'm Ruby.”
“... I’m gonna go train for a few minutes, get my bearings with… this thing,” Blake mentioned, raising the splatana in her hand before darting into the testing room for the next… five minutes, give or take.
…
Five awkward minutes later, Blake stepped out of the testing room with slopsuit equipped, cat ear headphones replaced by the standard Grizzco helmet, and a newfound air of confidence with her splatana held loosely at her hip. “Alright! I figured out how to use this thing! Should be fine now!”
“Right! Let's go!” Alex waved at the group as she marched toward the door to the boat. “Last one on is a rotten Salmonid!”
Her clothing stiffened in the sudden massive breeze as Ruby Petal Burst passed her. The rose graffiti left behind clearly spelled out ‘You Lose’.
Blake, meanwhile, just stepped out from behind Ruby, also on the boat now and idly examining her nails despite wearing a thick slopsuit glove. “Oh good, that still works. This’ll be easy then. Even if this isn’t my preferred weapon… And I’m wearing gloves this thick… Just have to make sure not to drop it, that’s all.”
“They're grippy.” Ruby smiled as her two children attempted not to be the last on the boat. Eventually Alex’s aggression won out, and Cray was the rotten Salmonid. “It shouldn't be too hard to keep hold.”
“That’s good… Dropping a weapon in combat is a level of humiliation I’ve aspired to never stoop to,” Blake murmured, keeping her eyes on the horizon and taking slow, deep breaths to prepare for the coming fight.
…
And then she slumped over slightly and grimaced. “Oop… oh gods I forgot I still get a little seasick.”
“So you're… Cherry Popper's new friend? I heard rumors she showed up with some people other than just step-mom.” Alex tilted her head to the side, staring at Blake, even as Cray attempted to get her to stop. “How are you walking? ‘Cause I haven't been here long, but you pick up how the weather changes in response to her actions pretty quick. And last night was the worst my Inkling friends can remember.”
Blake sort of grimaced and fanned herself a little, then took a deep breath and straightened up. “I heal quickly, and I’m no stranger to strenuous activity. As it were… yes. She’s trying very hard to get me pregnant.”
“And I'll keep trying.” Ruby narrowed her eyes at Blake's ass. “I know where I went wrong last time. There will be no walking tomorrow. I want to you to rest with my cum in you.”
Cray just stared. “I don't know what I expected, but… actually no. This was pretty expected.”
“Yep, that's HER.” Alex chuckled. Then she nodded at Blake. “I know a lotta people that'd love to be in your position.”
“I’m loving it already,” Blake preened a little, twisting around and noting that, even as an Octoling and even while wearing a slopsuit, her ass looked amazing. “Well. Enough of the smalltalk, though. I think we’re almost there.”
Indeed they were. The boat gradually slowed as the fighting arena came into view. A simple barebones spirit with exceptionally little graffiti. It was, in fact, one of the least graffitied places in all of Inkopolis. Which was fair, considering the danger of both getting there and actually staying there long enough to do a tag.
As far as Ruby knows, tagging a GrizzCo arena is one of the things you have to do to show yourself to be one of the freshest taggers around. A title that was extremely hard to earn and all the more impressive for it. She'd met most of them. They were pretty cool. One even did tattoos, and if Ruby could have those she'd have gotten one. As it was, Yang was waiting for her majority before getting what she wanted. A time she'd had booked for what felt like years now.
“Ready?” Enough reminiscing. Time to get some Salmonids.
Blake licked her lips, hopping off of the boat and already taking her usual Iaido stance. “Ready.”
“Ready!” Alex hoisted her ‘brella.
“Ready.” Cray got calm, a still spot surrounded by waves. Nice.
“Let's go!” Ruby laughed as she jumped onto the arena. This was what it meant to hunt! Death, friends, and an enemy that would not stop! Glorious!
“Let’s have some fun!” Blake cheered, leaping after Ruby and throwing herself into the fray with wild abandon the moment the horns sounded and the Salmonids began rushing in. “Try to keep up!”
Quite predictably, she immediately began splatting and swinging with the skill and precision one would expect from the wielder of the Yamato, using her Mint Decavitator with such strength and speed that it was, quite frankly, kind of impossible to follow along with what Blake was actually doing in between the giant splatters of ink she was throwing everywhere.
“Good kitty.” Ruby smiled. “I'll give her a treat later.”
Chapter 14: Beacon Days - The One And Only Flaming Bitch.
Chapter by desolatedsabers
Chapter Text
Yang let out a hum as she went over some of the reports from her crew. She can’t really call them pirates, because none of them could sail to save their lives and she’d gotten too used to sailing using a Log Pose so SHE can’t sail either, but Onigashima Alliance is just their company name.
She kind of hated that she was ass at naming things. Hanafuda, and then King and Queen when that brat got Hanafuda put in the ground, were the primary ones helping her name things in the before time.
And Maria. But Maria’s organizational skills were almost half as good as Blake’s were, considering that the White Fang brats she picked up still sang her praises. Understandably. The girl was Gold, and going out of her way to feed Yang whenever she could.
… Hmm. No leather, and a different element. But… she Does need a King on the board. And a Queen. Jack. Joker too.
Technically Neo and Roman together would be Hanafuda. Because they’re her best bet at acquisitions. Junior, Melanie and Miltia are fine as headliners. Those White Fang brats are half decent Gifters.
Shame that Devil Fruits don’t exist in this world despite its dream-quality. For all that enforcing herself directed things the way she wanted, she can’t make that big of a change without breaking something.
Yet.
Still, report, report, complaint that was dealt with, report, some crazy bitch showed up… oh, hold on.
This isn’t talking about Neo.
Opening it, she read it boredly, eye half open, as she went over the general gist. Crazy bitch with fire powers showed up out of nowhere, demanded that her organization work for her, they kicked it up the chain, now she needed to meet Roman and Neo in one of her warehouses because of it.
Ugh. Whatever, she can make the trip soon enough.
… Where was Ruby? She wanted her cuddle time before she had to deal with some stupid bullshit involving a lady who’s voice should’ve been in porn instead of crying about how the world was unfair while still expecting it to do whatever she wanted.
She found Cinder Fall to be pathetic, in a different way from most other people she was sure. Stupid bitch demanded the world bow to her, and instead of actually doing anything to encourage that, she just stole power, stabbed people in the back, ran, and hid until she was sure she’d win.
“Ruby?” She called out, closing her scroll and laying back on the great big bed they picked up. Getting it into the room was the hardest part. “Rubes? Where are ya? I demand attention!”
Looking around, because usually that would have gotten Ruby’s attention regardless of where she was, Yang frowned. Closing her eyes and pushing out, Yang couldn’t actually feel anyone in a two hundred foot area on this floor. Which meant that the other team was out doing something she didn’t care about, and Weiss had left.
Letting out a small sound of irritation, Yang leaned up and cleared her throat, scratching the side of her face and knowing that if anyone heard her that wasn’t Ruby, she’d probably have to crack someone’s skull. “Ruby? I need you.” She softly whispered. “Please.”
“Yaaang!” Ruby's head, and only her head, popper out of the nearest 89° angle. “Blake and I took out waaay too many Salmonids. Pearl brought down her personal chef army and they're having a cook off versus the Inkopolis Square restaurants! I'm supplying all the spices and shit and it's great! Come on!”
“Oh.” Yang blinked, idly rubbing the top of Ruby’s head and trying not to snicker when some of her ink-tentacles stuck to her fingers, before she hummed. “I more wanted quiet cuddle time attention. But a party’s fine too, I guess.”
There was a small pout on Yang’s face, but from experience she’d still go to the party just to be with Ruby. “How was she in Salmon run? I’m guessing really good, at least, if you can throw a party that quick.”
“Really good. Between us two we managed to get enough that we probably sparked Food War Two.” Ruby looked back. “Oh shit. I think one of Pearl's people mentioned a flavor nuke. You're the only one that might be able to take that level of flavor, Yang, you need to come on!” A hand wormed its way out of the aether next to Ruby's head.
“Fine, fine.” The soft smile on Yang’s face is an indulgent one as she gently took Ruby’s hand, letting herself get dragged along back to Inkopolis and allowing the ever present feeling of an Eternal War to wash over her, even if the Inklings didn’t fight for keeps.
It was close enough to what her old self wanted, a war where anyone could carve the path they wanted, engulfing the entire world. She just expected more actual violence.
Like the kind of violence Blake was enacting right now on a fool that tried to sneak a bite before it was ready.
“GET OUT OF MY KITCHEN!”
“ AAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaa…..-!”
And there that poor fool went, with Blake not even slowing down in the middle of whirling around her cooking station like an absolute nightmare of flashing knives, flying ingredients, flares of demonic power, and just… the most intense collection of smells and scents going all at once.
Not that she was alone. The entire square seemed to have shifted from Splat Battling to Cooking, without losing any of the edge. The riot of art and color that the square always was now focused entirely on food and food accessories. Battle lines had been drawn by food trucks, banners, and ‘line starts here’ signs. Cooks screamed obscenities at each other and at the food. Endless movement as head chefs yelled and the kitchen answered.
Sheldon had somehow managed to shift his entire store from weaponry to… still weaponry. Knives, spatula, and more surrounded him as he did brisk business. The rest of the square stores had done the same, one sold grills, another air fryers, and still another had cobbled together some form of abomination that uncooked food somehow. It was even crazier than The Great Food War, which was now inevitably going to be called Food War One.
“Make way! Make way!” A dozen Inklings trundled forward, a massive serving tray on their backs. “Make way! Make way!”
Their boots thumped in time, clothes immaculate, as they marched right up in front of Yang. Who licked her lips, sat down, folded one leg over the other, and grinned. “Alright, I guess I’m the judge of who’s the best cook in Inkopolis?”
While it didn’t sound as fun as Ruby cuddle time, mostly for other reasons, that definitely sounded more interesting than having to deal with an upjumped orphan in a red dress trying to act like she was a solid ten years younger than she actually was.
Definitely more interesting with the show Blake was putting on while she cooked. What did they call it? Teppanyaki? It was like that but taken to its utmost extreme. An obvious statement, considering that Blake could casually throw razor sharp wind blades just by pointing and could literally slice spacetime in half if she had even a butter knife in her grip. Still, just because Blake had an audible style meter going while she cooked didn’t mean she’d be the best… even if Yang definitely appreciated the lengths Blake was willing to go to feed her.
Still, there was a lot of food, and it was hard to decide where to start with… Pulling out her ‘emergency’ bottle of peach sake, Yang poured herself a quick saucer, knocked it back, and started going to town on everything. Salmon cutlets, full fish, battered, fish bites, tempura, chicken, some kind of egg and fish thing, caviar, which she never really cared for actually but it was food.
All of it vanished down her gullet, and sent the busboys and girls straight back to the kitchens to drag out more food. Through it all, she ate, she wrapped an arm around Ruby and pulled her in with a laugh, she drank, and her scales started to darken from gold into an orange color.
Uproarious laughter, dancing, singing, merry making, fireworks, fighting, everything happening all at once. She’s reminded of Onigashima, the ragers she threw, and the entertainment.
The final party of Onigashima may have ended with her buried in the earth, dead to the world, alongside Linlin… But it was definitely the best she’d ever had.
This one might become a close second though, if Ruby ended up giving her a fun time after they’re done judging who the best chef is. And Blake. Blake was definitely welcome to join.
… Maybe after she got squealing like a princess out of the way first, though. She was fine with Ruby knowing because Ruby discovered it in the first place, sharing that with someone else was a bit embarrassing.
“Life's good.” Ruby settled back in her own, smaller, chair. In front of her were the more… creative attempts at cooking. The sort of thing that didn't stop at ‘maybe trying to serve the entire blowfish is a bad idea’. Or maybe they stopped and then proceeded to do it anyway. Regardless, Ruby was enjoying it. “Real good.”
“OCTENHEIMER NO!”
“OCTENHEIMER YES!” Slowly a plate moved through the crowd. Even covered Inklings and Octolings passed out from the sheer flavor it gave off. “I have figured it out! I managed to successfully split sweet and spicy. Not even you can stop me now, Clamsay.”
“I can't,” Clamsay, an actual clam, turned and pointed to the Inkling behind them, “but he can.”
“You…” Octenheimer stared, “you even brought Flavor Town? Here? I thought he swore never to leave his domain?”
“For eats as good as this,” Guy Squiddy removed his sunglasses, “I can make an exception. This is wack, Octenheimer.”
“For anyone else it would be, but this goes to her!” Octenheimer pointed to Yang. “She can take it! The flavor nuke will not be stopped!”
“We've already stopped you, Octenheimer.” Clamsay crossed his arms. “You won't go any further.”
“I expected that. So,” Octenheimer snapped his fingers and a plate suddenly rattled onto the table in front of Yang, “I made two!”
“Huh. Dinner and a show.” Yang mumbled, before sniffing and letting out a whistle. “Damn, I can already feel this.”
Grabbing her sake jug, she gave it a shake, looking in through the stem, before humming. Popping her lips, she turned to Ruby, moved her hand to her sister’s shoulder, and nodded. “Rubes. I’m gonna need more peach wine when I finish this.”
“All this talk about flavor nukes,” Blake finally spoke up, idly sauntering over to the judging table without a care in the world. “I wonder, is the flavor meant to be so intensely delicious that you’ll die, or is it supposed to just be some kind of maximum spiciness limit? Because if it’s the latter… I’ve got something that’ll surpass everything else in terms of sheer sour.”
“It doesn’t feel like it’s hitting the scoville limit.” Yang said back as she started off small, shearing off a small section of the Flavor Nuke 2, bringing it to her mouth and then pausing to look at Blake with a frown. “Sour? I mean, it’s sweet and sour, and spiced… Oh I can already feel it on my tongue.” She said to herself, before just stuffing it into her mouth and letting out a weird… laser gun sound.
Like a baby alligator.
“Oh, that does sound like it’s good,” Blake hummed, then shrugged and didn’t particularly seem like she cared about the actual judging going on. “I don’t think I can compete here, honestly. I’m a cook, not a chef. I’ve never specialized in pushing the boundaries of culinary excellence, just feeding large groups… or one Yang. That said…”
She unscrewed the cap of a glass bottle filled with a vibrantly blue liquid, and the smell that came off of it was… indescribable. Faintly sweet, like any flavored drink, but also it carried the scent of intense danger rather than having any identifiable flavor profile beyond a hint of blue raspberry. And yet, Blake took a long swig of it with barely any reaction whatsoever. “Mm… oh yeah, that’s that good sour… it’s been so long since I could make this- and now it’s even more intense… whoof.”
Yang blinked, swallowed the food in her mouth, brought a hand up to cover a cough, took a swig of her peach wine… and then clinked it on the table, let her tongue flop out of her mouth, and shook her head. “What the fuck, Blake? Also holy shit this is good, try some. If you still have tastebuds, I mean.” She deadpanned at the cat faunus, before cutting off a slice and holding it up. “Try, try!”
“Oop, hold on-” Blake held up a finger, audibly regrowing entire parts of her body in a flare of purple light before taking that bite of food straight from Yang’s fingers with an audible moan of delight. “Mmmph~ That is good~ Mm, regenerating my tastebuds makes everything so much more intense for a few minutes…”
Looking at Ruby for a moment and raising an eyebrow, despite the mild buzz making it a bit wonky, Yang giggled as she thought of a few things. “In’t that inner’estin’. Good t’ know, Blake.” She took another swig, before going back to the Flavor Nuke 2 and cutting off some of the pieces for Ruby to eat. “Here, you try too.” She speared a piece and held it up for Ruby to eat. By this point her scales were at a mid point between Orange and Bronze, but luckily for everyone involved she hadn’t actually activated Shuron Hakke. Probably because of all the food.
“Nom!” Ruby sat back, chewing on the piece of the Flavor Nuke. “Hmm… burns then gets sweet then burns again. A never ending cycle. That crazy fucker did it. He successfully split sweet and spicy.”
“VALIDATION!” Octenheimer whooped alongside his crew. Clamsey and Squiddy watched. Defeated. The nuke had been dropped.
“Haaaah…” Yang blew out a breath as the cycle continued on in her mouth, still continuing to eat it and succeeding in making the burn and relief cycle stronger. “Kissing either of you is gonna burn, tonight. And probably tomorrow, too. But I wanna. I’d say that Blake wins in terms of volume, Octenheimer wins in terms of flavor.”
“Alright! You know what that means, everyone.” The party stilled. The band fell silent. “It's time for the congratulations party!”
And everything started right the fuck back up.
Life is good for Yang Xiao-Long. And as she pulled Ruby and Blake closer, that thought firmed. Life was good for Team RWBY.
Life was pretty crap for that one Inkling that licked a single drop of Blake’s horrific drink and spontaneously scrunched his face so hard he imploded into an ink splatter, though.
Poor guy.
The morning after had Yang freshen up, dump an entire bottle of shampoo and conditioner so that her hair still looked lush and vibrant, brushed her teeth, had a small drink, ate a decent breakfast…
And then she grabbed Blake by the waist, pinned her to the wall, and pushed up against her with an angry look on her face. “I’m gonna give you a single warning and if you tell anyone I’m gonna be very mad, and very hurt. If you heard me squealing last night, no you didn’t. Alright?”
Blake, for her part, just stared up at Yang like a deer in headlights. “Ma’am this is the most violently horny I’ve been since we met four days ago. Can you like… bite me? Really hard?”
Snapping her fingers in front of Blake’s face, the Dragon woman considered that for a moment before going back to what she was focusing on. “If you’re good, I’ll do this and bite you on a spot that won’t make you panic and forget to transform. Now, did you hear me squeal last night?”
“Yang, all I remember from last night is Ruby trying and probably succeeding at getting me pregnant,” Blake answered, shaking her head to clear her thoughts and focus. “And… what’s wrong with squealing? It’s not like it makes you any lesser to me. It’s cute!”
Letting out a small rumble, calling her cute seemed to be either the wrong thing to do, or the right thing in this case as Blake wanted to be bitten. “I’m not cute. I am a seven foot tall giant, and I have a reputation to keep as a giant hardass.”
Despite this, the blush on her face gave away that it was less out of not wanting her reputation ruined, and more out of embarrassment that someone heard her squeal and beg for more while being fucked, let alone while being fucked by Ruby.
“Well… yeah… but it’s just us,” Blake pointed out, purring softly as she reached out and patted Yang’s cheek. “You’ve got the face of an angel, the abs of a goddess, and you squeal when you get fucked and it’s really cute. Outside of Team RWBY and whoever else you decide you want to fuck you… who’s going to know? Who’s going to care? And, really, why would I tell anyone about what we get up to in the bedroom? I barely talk to Team JNPR and we live literally right across from their dorm.”
Scrunching up her face even as she leant into the hand on her cheek, Yang nodded her head. “Alright, fine.” And with that, she immediately leaned in and pressed Blake against the wall, giving her a quick yet steamy kiss that promised more later. “Thank you. Now.”
Stepping back, she brushed down the front of her normal outfit, popped her collar, and hummed. “I’ve gotta deal with some stupid shit involving Cinder. I shouldn’t be gone long. In the meanwhile, you’re probably going to want to give Ruby an early morning-” cutting herself off, she made a hand gesture near her mouth and some pop sounds, “or she’ll wake up cranky. Or super horny. So, good luck with that.”
“I-” Blake paused before she could really say anything. “... Dammit, I was going to ask if I could come with you, but now my oral fixation is flaring up and I just regrew my tastebuds earlier so Ruby’s dick is gonna taste amazing…”
“It feels pretty good feeling her grow in your mouth, too. I’d help you, but, y’know.” Yang idly commented, before giving a wave and walking out of an odd looking doorway. “Anyway, byee, I’ll see you later. Have fun.”
And with that, she stepped into Roman’s ‘gang focused’ area. Getting the guy involved in white-collar crime was more his scene, the flare and dramatics he had helping him excel in the area, while Neo helped keep him alive. Alongside being four foot nine with heels, adorable, and deadly to boot.
“Ah, bosslady! Just the woman I was waiting to see!” Roman greeted her with a flourishing bow, even going so far as to doff his hat and spin his cane around like the fancy ponce he was. “You’ve got a very auspicious guest, come to make a very interesting business proposal.”
He paused, then stage whispered at her with the back of his hand. “She’s fucking crazy and needs a mental hospital, I’m pretty sure. Say no, boss. Say. No.”
Neo, silently, nodded. She didn’t do much else because she was literally mute and also trying not to draw the crazy woman’s attention towards her.
Said crazy woman, meanwhile, was just sitting there in the guest chair, legs crossed and all dolled up in a slinky red dress and black glass heels with styled hair that made her look less like a Huntress or a crime boss and more like she was the bitchy eye candy that inevitably got tossed out for being a gold digger.
All in all, if it weren’t for the Maiden Powers she stole, Cinder would be pretty disappointing. “Right.” Yang blinked slowly, seeing the way that Cinder composed herself with the same kind of smug aura as someone who truly thought she was invincible. Or like a particularly vain bird. “And what is this proposal, exactly?”
“A mutually beneficial endeavor, I assure you,” Cinder smirks in a way that would be way prettier if she wasn’t certifiably a literal womanchild lashing out at the world that hurt her. “Something that would benefit the members of the White Fang, certainly, and be extremely profitable in shipments of stolen goods. You understand the need for secrecy, of course, I can’t explain all of the details… but my benefactor has many resources that would be quite useful, in the right hands. And they can be yours… if you agree to my terms.”
“And those would be?” Yang was really trying to not just immediately laugh the woman out of her warehouse, and noted that both Neo and Roman had migrated to be behind her. Smart. If Cinder’s stupid enough to try and attack, she’ll just knock the bitch down to size. What would Haki do to magic, anyhow?
“Obedience. I need your men, your resources, in order to make sure my plan benefits us all,” Cinder continued to speak in that desperately femme fatale voice that kinda made it sound like she was trying to seduce Yang into giving her everything. Too bad for Cinder, she already had one dark haired golden eyed hyper lethal magic using femme fatale in her life, and Cinder didn’t have cat ears nor did she make the most delectable squealing sounds when getting railed within an inch of her life. Also Cinder was only debatably hyper lethal anyway. She was kinda bad at actually killing people.
“A plan you’re not going to elaborate on until you think we’d be in too deep to get out, which would let you fellate yourself and your sense of superiority, and then scrabble to try and come up with a new plan when that plan inevitably ends up failing and resulting in at least thirty of my crew dead.” Yang immediately burst her bubble, and almost had to bite the inside of her mouth to keep from smirking at the sudden shock on Cinder’s face. “And instead of considering that your plan was terrible, you’d blame me and mine for it, try to degrade us, and then get shocked when we ditched you regardless. And your benefactor, one you refuse to name but you say in respect instead of fear, is someone that enables you despite how badly your ego would ruin a plan because she finds it funny to watch you flail around when you fuck up. Am I on the money, or do I need to keep going?”
God, almost reminded her of dealing with Orochi… Actually, no. It did remind her of dealing with Orochi. The only reason the fat idiot hadn’t gotten decapitated up to that point was because of him. Her. The her that used to be him, Kaido.
“You’re making a grave mistake,” Cinder hissed out, and then before Yang could say anything else… Cinder did the exact dumbest thing she could have possibly done: Spawn a fireball into her hand and send it hurtling towards Yang in a screaming wave of heat and death that, to be fair, would have killed like… a normal low level Huntsman. Or a civilian. But… it was so weak that any half decent Hunstman could weather the heat until they could get out, and to Yang? The worst it did would be getting soot on her clothes.
“Prometheus was hotter.” Yang deadpanned, still feeling a good amount of respect for Linlin managing to turn ‘soul’ into fire, lightning, and so many other things, even as she swatted the ball of flame into the concrete with a Haki coated backhand. “Was that it?”
“Wh- Impossible!” Cinder shouted, and she took a step back. “How did you- die!”
And cue fireblast number two, this time with even more intent to kill. Except this time it didn’t even reach Yang, because Blake suddenly showed up out of nowhere and cut the entire wave in half with a single swipe of her sword, causing it to blow out dramatically and flutter her coat in the resultant wind.
Peak aura farming activity right there, honestly.
Completely unnecessary, but she understood. Doing random cool shit was important. Like the Luffy and the other two chuckle heads just taking a blast each from Prometheus. Sometimes a man needed to do something stupid.
Or woman in this case.
Still. “I don’t think you understand the situation here.” Yang started, taking her club off of her back and smiling. “So I’ll let you in on a secret. Aura’s just the first step.” Drawing it back, and being careful to not hit Roman because he was actually smart and cowered behind her with Neo, Yang swung, and delighted in the confusion on Cinder’s face.
Up until the woman saw the concrete shredding and got the bright idea to dodge. She’ll need to apologize to Roman for destroying one of his walls.
Primed, Blake nearby for some reason and… wiping her mouth, which probably meant Ruby wasn’t satiated yet, Yang stepped closer to the idiot woman, one Cinder Fall, and dropped her club right next to her head. “You hold no power here, and I could kill you right now, Maiden Power or no. So I’m gonna give you a grace period to leave. But if I catch you operating in Vale, or trying to subvert any of my crew, I’m going to kill you. I’ll mail you back to your ‘benefactor’ in pieces. And no one will remember your name after a year. Okay?”
“I… understand…” Cinder hissed out, pushing herself away from Yang about as well as she could. She glared heavily, but seemed rather defeated at this point. “... You’ve made your point. But know this. You will regret denying me. This, I promise you.”
“No she won’t,” Blake called out, standing there and continuing to aura farm with her arms crossed. “You genuinely don’t have the ability to do anything right now.”
Letting out a growl, Cinder still nodded and backed away, trying to leave with any semblance of pride. Which failed the moment one of her heels broke with an audible slice , causing her to stumble into the door, push it open, and leave with another grumble.
Yang at least gave her the decency of waiting for her to leave before she started chuckling, followed by Neo’s silent giggling and Roman’s relieved laughter.
“Well. That went well,” Blake grinned, miming the action of blowing smoke off her finger before tilting her head. “You wanna go back and get some more breakfast? You didn’t eat as much as the other day, so…”
“Breakfast sounds good.” Yang nodded, pulling out her scroll and doing something that caused Roman’s to beep. “For the wall. Anyway, she shows up again, let me know. I’ll deal with it.” With that, Yang turned around, hummed when Roman let out a ‘yes boss’, and followed Blake back to Inkopolis.
But instead of heading for the dining room table, she went back to the bedroom. “Ruby’s only half done, right?”
“Oh don’t worry, I’m just a doppelganger,” Blake grinned, winking at Yang before fading out of existence in a flutter of purple and shadow. The real Blake, meanwhile, was still currently doing her best to suck out Ruby’s soul through her dick.
Letting out a harrumph, Yang shook her head as she kneeled her way onto the bed and held herself up with her elbows as she leant down. “Alright, my turn. Move over, I want a taste.”
Ruby made indescribable noises. Literally. They hurt to listen to. But Yang was used to that by now, and instead of getting distracted, she hauled Blake back until they could share Ruby’s cock, with Blake now suckling on the tip and Yang’s tongue wrapping around the shaft.
Life was good for Ruby Rose.
Chapter 15: Beacon Days- Tear You Up (Weiss 4)
Chapter by Argo_The_Rat, CyberQueen_Jolyne, desolatedsabers, InternecionWitch
Chapter Text
Weiss slammed open the dorm's door, she was covered in sweat, blood, ash, dirt, dust, and probably everything you wanted to avoid being covered in. “Oh, there you three are. Where were you?” She looked ragged, run down almost. “I’ve been fighting cultists for two days!”
“Dealing with some important problems.” Yang hummed from where she was currently watching Blake’s bare ass jiggle while she cooked like a hawk. “Very important problems.”
Weiss starred in the same direction as Yang. “Understandable.” She collapsed into a random chair and grabbed a plate of food. “Yeah, there was a whole thing with a cult trying to bring down the walls of Vale. They somehow got the Grimm to ignore them which made it a whole thing. They even brought down a lot of the teachers. I invited myself because ya’ll were gone.”
“That… is a very strange and concerning thing to happen,” Blake hummed, placing yet another bag of Red Orbs in front of Weiss without another word. That, and a steaming cup of coffee, just the way Weiss liked it. “I wonder if it has anything to do with Salem? I wouldn’t be surprised if she had a few background agents stirring up trouble in between all of the others…”
Weiss downed the entire cup of coffee. “More please, I haven’t slept in two days either.” That probably wasn’t healthy. Oh well. Blood and caffeine could keep her going far longer than she was supposed to and it hadn’t hurt her yet. Except for that one time she saw a man made out of shadows wearing a hat. That was a weird day.
“Cinder’s nowhere near competent enough to have brought down the walls the way she did during the Vytal festival without a lot of help.” Yang snorted, shaking her head and checking the time. “Stupid bitch thought throwing magic around was enough to get me to work for her, then pissed herself when I slapped that weak-ass fireball out of the air. Anyway, d’uh… fuck it. Early night, cause Weiss needs the sleep.”
Saying that, Yang stood up, threw her shirt off, picked up their cyborg friend, and dropped onto their nice big bed. “We can relax like this, you can tell us what happened, and then you’ll have the best pillow in the house to sleep on.”
Weiss immediately koala’d onto Yang. “It started with an elevated level of Grimm attacking the walls. It wasn’t unheard of for them to spike like that so they just carried on business as usual, a couple more huntsmen were called in and they thought that would be the end of it. Except they just kept coming. And coming. Eventually they managed to send out a broadcast, announcing themselves as The Brotherhood of the Night. Which led to more panic, which led to more Grimm, which led to more panic… Eventually it slowed down but everyone's kind of on edge.”
Blake hummed, idly walking over to the bed and held a Red Orb to Weiss’ lips like a particularly large and red grape. She had, also, taken off her apron along the way so now she was just entirely naked. “Did you kill them all? Please tell me you got a higher kill count than anyone else involved.”
Weiss opened her mouth and ate the Red Orb whole, letting it instantly dissolve instead of actually taking the time to enjoy the flavor. “I fought for two days, most hunters there worked in shifts. If I managed to get anything lower than twice second place I’d be surprised. But uh, bad news. There was only one person there. Some random idiot standing guard over those weird Grimm liquid pool, things, that was creating most of the ones charging at the walls. There’s probably more outside Vale somewhere but after I launched a nuke into the one I found it stopped making Grimm so I’m counting that as a success.”
“Enemies are dead and you know what's going on. That's a success.” Ruby hummed. Then raised an arm. Not her Inkling arm, but one of the tentacles she had laying around. “Want a relaxation fuck?”
“I can feed you Red Orbs like grapes while Ruby pounds you,” Blake offered, holding out yet another Red Orb. She also, at some point, had acquired some form of harem slave girl type outfit which mostly consisted of a lot of gold body jewelry and very little else. When she had time to change into that was a complete mystery. When she had time to get piercings was even more of a mystery.
“And you can squeal into my titties when Ruby finds a spot that’ll have you seeing stars!” Yang said with a cheerful grin, a miasma of predatory lust emanating from the three of them and circling the poor cyborg.
Weiss defied her name and turned a very vivid shade of scarlet. “Please.”
Killing Grimm for two days was fun. This was better.
Weiss was very thankful the next morning that her legs were cybernetic. Otherwise she probably wouldn’t be able to walk. Fucking for an entire afternoon would do that. “Why couldn’t Cinder cope with her trauma in a less destructive way, nooo~ she had to sell her soul to the hot evil Grimm Lady.” She paused to consider. “You know what actually, fair enough. Really annoying that we’re going to have to kill a whole cult's worth of people though.”
She turned to her team. “We are killing them all right? Or at least most of them.” Assuming this was Cinder’s attempt to replace the White Fang in her plans then they had to go.
“If they’re literally just a ploy by Salem to hasten the end of the world and they don’t surrender? Sure. Kill ‘em all,” Blake was once again back in naked apron, though, technically, with how complicated said apron was it might as well have just been a slutty goth maid outfit. “If they do surrender… well. I’m pretty sure it’s still illegal to murder disarmed noncombatants even if they are evil Grimm cultists.”
She paused, setting a plate of salmon scrambled eggs and hashbrowns in front of Weiss, along with her morning’s supply of Red Orbs. How and when she had time to get all of said Red Orbs was a mystery considering she spent most of her time with the team. “That said… if we can manage to pull Cinder’s head out of her ass? I want her to do terrible things to mine and I am not sorry about having that opinion.”
Weiss grabbed a fork full of hashbrown and ate it. “Honestly, same. Might be a bit hard though.” So long as Salem was still giving her a bit of goth titty she’d probably be loyal. Honestly, same.
Yang let out a grunt, before shaking her head at the two of them. “Girls, I love the both of you, but you need better taste. She’s so fucking lame it’s not even funny. I’ve met her, and she’s like twenty something and already having a midlife crisis.”
“You never know when the middle of your life is, so I’m just always having an ongoing crisis.” Atlas not having any fish, except somehow still caviar, was a crime and the fact that it took her so long to actually try it was worse. Salmon scrambled eggs were great. “So, any ideas on how to find and fuck, marry, or kill Cinder? Because I’ve got nothing.”
“Kill Mercury, Fuck Cinder, Marry Emerald.” Ruby looked up from… whatever she was doing on her scroll to see everyone staring at her. “What?”
“Dibs on Neo.” Weiss interjected while she stared at her scroll.
“Don’t kill Mercury, just kick him in the balls until he stops being a problem,” Blake huffed… and then turned to shake her head at Weiss. “You can’t call dibs on Neo, sadly. Yang’s already her boss. Then again… Yang, since you asked me to marry you and I more or less said yes does that mean I also get to fuck Neo?”
Yang blinked, before pulling out her scroll and sending a quick text. After a moment a very loud bang echoed up to Beacon, and Yang grinned. “She’ll be here in about ten seconds.”
“... You know, I didn’t actually mean right now,” Blake sighed, rubbing her forehead. “We still have class and- oh who am I kidding, I can send my doppelganger and I can make enough doppelgangers and disguise them so we never have to go to class again anyway.”
Neo literally crashed through the window the moment Blake finished her sentence, landing in a roll and popping up with a little hop. She grabbed a sign from, somewhere, probably with her semblance. “You said there were horny lesbians here?”
Blake looked around, vaguely motioning at the scene that Neo had crashed into, which involved her in a slutty goth maid apron, Weiss pretty much still naked, Yang definitely still naked, and Ruby… just wearing her cloak. Just her cloak. Which meant that she was pretty much naked anyway. “I mean… we just had a foursome last night so yeah. We’re pretty horny and gay around here.”
She paused, clearing her throat. “... Do you want breakfast?”
Neo walked over to Ruby, and stuck her hand into the folds of Ruby’s cloak. She rummaged around until she pulled out… a pint of kelp and fish brine ice cream. Eugh. She tossed it behind her and started looking again, pulling out a whole tub of neapolitan ice cream.
“... Ice cream for breakfast-” Blake sighed, making a thoroughly exasperated expression. “Nevermind. I can’t say anything about poor dietary choices. Whatever. Fine. It’s fine. I’m not bothered by it. I’m definitely not bothered by it…”
She really, really looked bothered by it.
Slumping a moment later, Blake just grumbled and waved at the rest of the impressive breakfast spread she’d made. “At least have it with actual breakfast food?”
“First, you know the rules, Neo.” Ruby raised an eyebrow at the woman. Neo simply smiled, popped the top off, and shimmied herself down Ruby’s dick without even looking strained. Which was… extremely impressive considering the size of the dick (currently built for Yang) in comparison to Neo (considerably smaller than Yang). Another rummage got Neo a spoon, which she promptly started using, occasionally bouncing up and down. “Mmm…”
Weiss shot Yang a look. “She’s had ice cream back there I could have been stealing?”
“Mhmm.” Yang nodded, watching most of Ruby’s tentacle vanishing into Neo’s body with a mildly jealous air. “Neo’s been coming over since I took over Roman’s operation. At first it was because she was nosy, and eventually it turned into Neo learning about… everything going on between me and Ruby, and then learning that Ruby was an Elder One that just happened to have the body of a… I can’t say younger teen cause you basically hit puberty and just… poof.” She trailed off, looking at Ruby, before shrugging. “Whatever. Basically Neo wanted to see if it really felt as good as I made it sound, and I felt incredibly surprised when she could take it in one go with only a shocked grunt, and then even more surprised when she started making sound that wasn’t really sound.”
“That's pretty impressive.” Weiss was surprised. She definitely wasn’t quiet with Ruby last night that was for sure. She wouldn’t be surprised if the entire dorm had to be soundproofed specifically because of them. “Wait, you’re…” Blake did mention Yang running the Vale branch of the White Fang but… “You know I should really stop being surprised by things. Wait a minute, does this mean you have more money than me?”
“How much you got?” Yang asked as she stood up and took a seat on her knees in front of Neo and Ruby’s chair, watching the way that her sister’s cock pushed out the tri-colored woman’s stomach. “God that’s hot.”
Weiss summoned a Glyph and pulled her scroll back out of it. “According to my bank in Mistral, five hundred million Lien.” She would have liked more, but she had to punch a coin into her father. Worth it.
“Oh. Then yeah, I do.” Yang hummed back, semi-distractedly. She also pointedly isn’t saying how much more she has.
“... Hm,” Blake frowned, checking her wallet that she’d pulled from… somewhere. “... I’ve got two thousand Lien in my wallet… and probably a couple… two million? Ish… Dammit. No expensive ingredients out of my own pocket, then… Gods I hope Yang was serious about wanting to marry me because I’m gonna be broke by the time we graduate if I don’t get a summer job or something…”
Weiss paused to run the numbers in her head… If Yang was pretty much the owner of crime in Vale then she probably had a lot of money, enough to maybe even… “Yang, how do you feel about doing a hostile takeover of the SDC to really annoy its CEO?”
“I can get Roman on that soon enough. He’s better at stock trading than I am.” If Yang were a lesser person, her neck would start to hurt from watching Neo go down on Ruby. Fortunately she isn’t; she is, in fact, built different, so the constant up and down wasn’t causing a problem. Except perhaps jealousy. Because, damn , could Neo take it. The dick was actively pushing out her stomach as she moved and she still shimmied her hips while steadily going up and down. While eating ice-cream . Just… straight gangster shit or something. Damn. “I’ve still got no idea how you can do this and not react. Even when Ruby cums you don’t twitch, and she’s actively trying to get you pregnant.”
She sucked in a bit of drool, before shaking her head. “It’ll take a bit to get enough shares to really take the wind out of Jacques’ sails, and I’d also need things in place so that Roman didn’t find himself with a lead severance package. I’d take over myself, but I’m pretty sure I legally can’t.”
“I can set up a couple random shell companies to try and help hide things.” Unfortunately sharing a last name with the world's biggest company meant she had to learn all things economics. Every rule, law, and regulation. And more importantly how to break them.
“I wish I could ride dick half that well,” Blake mumbled, completely not paying attention to the business side of things anymore in favor of also watching Neo bounce on Ruby’s cock. “... Hey Neo, what’s your strap game like?”
Neo stuck the spoon in her mouth and raised a hand. Then she put it back down and tapped Ruby on the hip.
“Right, right.” Ruby gave out a great groan as she levered herself up slightly, Neo still on her dick and moving. Considering how Neo’s belly plumped out a little bit it wasn’t just her shaking off being stiff. One of Ruby’s hands swung around to rub at the bump as she leaned close to Neo’s neck. “She says her strap game could be better. She hasn’t found anything big enough to actually bother with yet, so she’s been putting it off a little. You could have just asked, you know? You’re mine Neo, that means I can do things, just like I did your… everything, really.”
“Hmm…” Blake tapped her chin, then summarily formed a surprisingly fully clothed doppelganger and had it wander off. She, meanwhile, shrugged and laid down on the bed with a coy smile. “Well, if you want to improve… you’re welcome to practice on me~”
Neo gave a thumbs up, then looked to Ruby.
“We can both go tonight.” Ruby glared at Blake. “I still haven’t managed to keep her down, and I’m going to manage it one day.”
Yang’s tail thumped against the floor to remind Neo and Ruby that they were standing directly in front of her face, and that she could smell the both of them quite clearly. “Don’t forget me.” She warned, looking up at the both of them and not even blinking when Neo put a hand on her head.
“We won’t.” Ruby chuckled and snuggled against Neo’s neck. “We’ll have two dicks this time.”
Chapter 16: Beacon Days - Getting Re-Hired to a Domestic Terrorist Organization (Blake 4)
Chapter by Argo_The_Rat, CyberQueen_Jolyne, desolatedsabers, InternecionWitch
Chapter Text
“So I was talking with Veridis,” Blake started, sitting at her desk casually and polishing Wilt with a cloth. Gambol Shroud, sadly neglected, was mounted on the wall. Idly, she checked the calendar and huffed. Already on the verge of two weeks at Beacon, how time flew… anyway. “And she said that Cardin’s starting to be an asshole again. Which, I don’t think he ever stopped but apparently two weeks is about the extent of his functioning memory. So. Veridis saw him saying shit to one of the Faunus students in our year. Or… something.”
Weiss shook her head. “He really needs to get his act together. If he can, that is. Maybe we could scare him into being a halfway decent person?” Her eyes landed on Gambol Shroud and she tilted her head, “Hey Blake why haven’t you been using Gambol Shroud anyway?”
Blake blinked, turning to look at her previous primary weapon. She winced a little and grimaced, ears going flat against her head. “... I… don’t really need it anymore. I made Gambol Shroud a while ago, right when I joined the Fang. I didn’t have my Demon powers at the time, nor my sword mastery, so… I figured I’d make something on my own. And I just… stopped using it once I grabbed Wilt and Blush? Honestly, I barely use the gun part of Blush either. And… I can’t use Gambol Shroud as a Stinger either, because it’s a katana.”
She shrugged, admitting that maybe letting the extension of her soul that was her first primary weapon sit on a wall was kind of a weird thing to do. “Katanas aren’t exactly great stabbing weapons, y’know. I still have Miracle Edge, though, so… yeah. Not really my use case anymore. Maybe I should use her more…”
Weiss hummed and opened a Glyph, pulling out her own disused sword. “I get it, I haven’t really used Myrtenaster since…” She gestured to her cybernetic arm. “Shotguns have served me well enough in close range that I don’t really need a sword. Even if I should really be using Dust more.”
She put Myrtenaster to the side and reached up to grab Gambol Shroud off the wall, giving it an experimental spin with the ribbon. It quickly went taut and snapped back into her the moment she pulled back on it. “Huh… Say, how do you feel about trading? I could always use a sort of grappling hook.”
Blake paused, furrowing her brow and biting her lip. “... You’d have to flush my Aura out first. And I’d have to do the same to Myrtenaster. But we could do it. Even if it’s… awkward. Technically. Most people don’t usually trade weapons at any point. Then again…”
She shook her head, dispelling memories that didn’t exist in this world. “Well. Whatever. Sure. We can trade. Just… take care of Gambol Shroud? Sheath and the blade and all? I may not use her anymore but… she is still my first weapon.”
Weiss grinned. “Of course, with my life.” She hesitantly slipped it through a Glyph out of Blake’s sight. “I- Thank you, really. Keep an eye on Myrtenaster too for me would you?”
“With my life,” Blake nodded, gingerly picking up Myrtenaster and setting it upon her desk with reverent care. “... Do you mind if I mod her a little, though? I can’t exactly take advantage of the Dust cylinders the way you can.”
Weiss paused to consider it, “Go ahead, but if you aren’t hanging on to them go ahead and give me the spare parts you take off. I’ll find, something to do with them. Maybe I’ll bribe Ruby to come up with an idea.”
“Makes sense, yeah. I’ll give you any parts I take off,” Blake nodded, then leaned back in her chair before a thought occurred to her from their conversation before this one. “Oh right, I never explained who Veridis was. I mentioned her to Ruby… gods, right around Initiation, I think. She’s a snake Faunus in our year. Really tight pants. Pretty sure she also has two dicks. Not sure how but she seems to have gotten just about every possible snake Faunus trait in the genetic lottery.”
She paused, tapping her chin. “Anyway, she’s cool. We share an elective together, which is why you haven’t really met her. Um… Yeah. Not much else to say there. We should go kill Cardin, I think. Or uh… beat the shit out of him. I guess I should try and move away from the domestic terrorist brain now that I’m at Beacon, huh?”
Weiss started flipping a coin between her fingers absentmindedly. “I think Cardin just inspires that effect in people smart enough to realize he's an idiot. Honestly if some hero were to kill him nearly the entire school would help hide the body.” She let the coin drop and kicked it out the open window, hopefully it would hit Cardin. “Veridis seems nice, I think I’ve seen her in between classes. What elective do you two share anyway?”
“Art,” Blake answered simply. “Turns out I’ve been following her socials for a few years now. Lots of porn. Really good at drawing too. I’m kinda jealous, actually. Hey by the way, where are Ruby and Yang anyway? It’s getting close to the end of our free period and I get antsy about Yang’s diet if I’m not there to see if she’s been eating enough or not.”
“...and so that's why I decided to remove the Killer Wail. Alongside a few other specials.” Ruby turned to her teammates. “How's it going? Jaune finally grown a pair?”
“Nnnno, but we might have to turn Cardin inside out in… about a week,” Blake answered, watching Ruby and Yang enter. “... So uh… I take it you guys were in Inkopolis just now? Also, Yang, have you eaten yet? It’s almost lunchtime. I managed to find a mole crab out in Vacuo so I thought you’d enjoy some giant crab tempura.”
“Sounds good.” Yang hummed out, wrapping herself around Ruby now that her sister is looking away. “We were just doin’ stuff.”
“You would not believe the amount of paperwork I have to deal with.” Ruby sighed. “And the difficulty in getting a desk big enough for Yang to get under it.”
“It has to be a desk that Ruby can actually sit at too. And one I don’t scrape my horns against.” Yang licked her lips as her hands shifted, almost looking like they were going to immediately throw off Ruby’s pants before thinking better of it. “I’m pretty sure everyone notices me whenever I do it, but they don’t mention it, and I’m not… embarrassing myself, so it’s fine.”
“I see,” Blake muttered, almost looking a little jealous. “Dammit, and my slutty secretary office lady cosplay won’t be here for another week. So much for that idea. Anyway- by the way, Ruby! Do you wanna meet Veridis? She’s the snake Faunus with the really tight pants I mentioned during… like, two weeks ago when we had Initiation. She’s cool, and the rest of her team is… pretty chill. Pretty sure they’re also fucking but I don’t share any classes with them so… eh. We don’t talk much.”
“Who else is on her team?” Weiss wondered. “I’ve got one or two electives I don’t share with the rest of the team. Ozpin teaches one, it's fun to watch him slowly get more stressed.” Qrow suddenly becoming a Professor and him being, him, would do that. The wonders of being able to choose your own schedule, to an extent anyway.
“Well, they’re Team SVVA… which is pronounced as Saffron for some reason…” Blake tapped her chin, then shook her head. “I… literally don’t remember their names, sorry. I’ve talked to them all like once and to be honest I was more occupied with putting together a grocery list at the time.”
She paused. “... Do I spend too much time cooking? I’m starting to feel like I spend more time in a kitchen than learning to be a Huntress at this point. Then again… I already know a lot of Huntress specific laws and pretty much how to fight just about anything out there.”
“Maybe a little. Yang isn’t about to starve that quickly.” Ruby stepped forward to pat Blake on the head. And then on the ass. “Not that we mind , but maybe take some time to actually do your homework.”
“I have doppelgangers for that,” Blake huffed mulishly, pointing at the doppelganger sitting across the room that was actually doing her homework. “I have like… six of them out at any one time. So. Weh. Either way, maybe Yang isn’t going to starve quickly but still. What else am I going to do with twenty tons of mammoth meat? Let it freeze out in the Snowbound forest?”
“Maybe hunt a little less…” Ruby sighed and snuggled up against Blake. “If you really need to burn off some energy we can do some Splat Battles or something. Maybe meet up with Marina and Pearl. Or Callie and Marie. Those two are freaks .”
“I think I’m starting to regret asking Ruby to wait to try and put whatever the hell she puts in people into me.” Yang said jokingly as she watched Ruby treat Blake like Ruby was a bear and Blake was a particularly good scratch tree. “Dunno why, just a small thought.”
“... You would eat more if you were pregnant, and it’d mean I’d use up ingredients faster…” Blake mumbled, holding onto Ruby and snuggling up against her. “Mm… maybe I do need to do some Splat Battles… if I limit myself to just what I can do with Aura, it should be more than a fair fight, I think… there just isn’t really enough out in the wilds to be more than a momentary challenge these days.”
“I mean, if no one else is busy we could just go do it as a team. It’s surprising that we haven’t done that yet honestly.” Weiss suggested.
“Unfair, but fun.” Ruby smiled. “Sure.”
“Yaaaaay, team bonding,” Blake cheered lightly, mostly speaking directly into Ruby’s boobs instead of into the actual air, but her words were still loud enough to be heard. “Also if you hear anyone from Team JNPR complaining about the kitchen I’m not ashamed to admit that I stole basically all the useful appliances and utensils.”
Weiss pulled a little flag out of a Glyph and started waving it around. ‘Yay Team RWBY’ it read. When she had even made it was a mystery.
“I know nothing, I hear no-thing.” Yang said with a cheery hum. Clearly a reference to something, at least.
“Good, because I’m not giving back all of those pots and pans. They’re nice pots and pans too,” Blake hummed, making a smug little grin. “And the wok was so easy to season… haaa, gotta love it when a place splurges on its cookware… the White Fang camp usually just had whatever we could steal from a brand warehouse or whatever anyone brought from home and donated to the cause. Or just bought for cheap.”
“Ooooh, right.” Yang nodded, before shaking her head. “Yeah most of them were kind of useless and when I asked for literally anything they did so I knew what I was working with they said that ‘the last second in command took it and ran when she left.’ Naturally that made it harder to actually do anything with’em, but I managed. The Gifters division’s going strong, and they’re actually doing something that isn’t just blowing up warehouses now.”
“That’s good, the White Fang really ought to do more community outreach in between acts of domestic and international terrorism,” Blake sighed, nodding her approval. “We’re a revolutionary organization, not a cult. And-”
She paused, then blushed so hard she had to bury her face in Ruby’s shoulder. “Oh nooooo… oh gods I forgot to leave the organization documents behind! Fuck! I didn’t print out any of my supply checks or inventory checklists! Dammit! Wait-”
She paused yet again, looking back up at Yang with a somewhat frazzled gaze. “... If you’re in charge, I can just mail you the documents, right? Oh gods, please tell me there’s someone competent handling logistics for them at the moment.”
Yang’s smile became more brittle after a moment as she walked forward and put a hand on Blake’s shoulder. A feeling of foreboding filled the air. “I’ve had to have five people juggling your idiots at any one time for them to get something done that isn’t burning down a family restaurant.”
Blake deflated with a tired, desperate groan. “Uuuuuuuuuugggghhhh… does this mean I have to take my old job back…? I’ve only been gone a month… how are they this- actually no, of course they’re that stupid, they basically joined a militant terrorist cult led by the world’s edgiest, dumbest, most ineffectual mall ninja! Adam had no fucking charisma either, so you know half our recruits were stupid!”
“I debated having half of them be pleasures, but they were decently strong enough to fit Gifters. Half the Headliners hate dealing with them, and Black Maria barely puts up with them most of the time. Roman’s probably the only one I can trust to knock the idiotic ones down to size, and he has enough planning to keep them functioning on any kind of job. They’re half decent mercenaries, at least.” Yang’s ‘cheerful’ smile barely shifted, but her eyes weren’t actually closed, and in fact were open just enough of a crack to show Blake just how much of a fucking problem these morons were for her organization. “Luckily a few of them are good at having an actual job. I have fronts and actual places of business, and some of them are able to run it. Mostly at the door or foyers.”
“Yeah, they’re all…” Blake sighed, accepting her fate. “... Fine. I’ll come back and whip them back into shape. They needed my logistics to be even halfway functional anyway, and I can damn well bet most of them don’t even know how to cook for themselves… even the kitchen staff barely ever knew how to cook more than stew and rice.”
“There’s three members of your gang that are allowed in the kitchens at any one point and one of them can’t do more than the basics. She tries, at least.” The Dragon woman sighed, before pulling out her scroll and moving to sit down, dragging Blake because this was technically her fault, and Ruby because she wanted to hold her sister in her lap for a half hour while Blake got acclimated to it. “Here, I’ve got incident reports, material reports, I found out one of your friends thought he could burn money to buy ‘space’ and we had to nearly put a shovel down his throat. So many things.”
“This is why my people are hedonistic crazies. Much less paperwork.” Ruby reluctantly moved off of Yang’s lap… and promptly grabbed Weiss. Under her shoulder. Somehow. “Right, I’ll get Weiss all set up for Splat Battles. You know how to call me when you want to join.”
“Later y'all.” Weiss waved as she went limp in Ruby’s grip like a cat as she got carried out of the room and to Inkopolis. “Good luck Blake, sounds like you’re gonna need it.”
Blake sighed, limply accepting that she had her old job back despite having literally cut and run away from it. “... This is my life now, I guess. Ugh… why meeeeee…?”
“Because I love you, you’re good at this, and I’m gonna flat out admit you’re smarter than me. Also because you were responsible for them and without you they would’ve fractured into a bunch of roving gangs that would’ve become my problem in a different way.” Yang admitted without hesitation, before punctuating her statement with a kiss to the side of Blake’s face. “And I’ll do anything you want tonight, tomorrow, and the day after in exchange.”
“Guh,” Blake responded eloquently, blushing brightly like the bottom she was.
“Weh.”
Chapter 17: Beacon Days - Good kitty. Very good kitty.
Chapter by CyberQueen_Jolyne, desolatedsabers
Notes:
Second part of this chapter's smut, just an FYI.
Chapter Text
“... Carry the two, link this sheet over here, that sheet to here… shit was it a VLOOKUP or an HLOOKUP? Fuck, where did I put that index function cheatsheet? Dammit, these numbers are so wrong it hurts, who even wrote this script? No no no, dammit, how did they manage to fuck this up when I literally made it as user friendly as possible…?”
“Hey boss?” Roman asked, looking at Yang with a vague side-eye. “... Your uh… fiancee has been swearing at a bunch of spreadsheets for… a while now. I don’t think Neo’s seen her leave her office since she got here. And uh… I’m gonna be honest, the last time I went in there to see if she was still alive, she almost cut my head off so can you like… go grab her or something?”
Yang hummed, before nodding her head. “Yeah she needs a break. I’ll handle it.” Saying that, she walked over to Blake, eyed the spreadsheets that her friend, lover, and… probably fiancee, she’s pretty serious about saying that shit, was working on, put her hands on her hips… and then picked up Blake entirely in a princess carry. “Alright, I think that’s enough for now. Roman, save what she’s worked on and close it.”
“Unyaa!” Blake squeaked out, flailing in Yang’s grip weakly. She… definitely had seen better days. “How did you figure out I was using a doppelganger back at Beacon!? And put me down, I’m working!”
“The food only had a little bit of soul in it, and no.” Yang said back without hesitation, turning on her foot and walking out through the compound-warehouse most of the shadier side of her people worked through. “You are going to have a nice herbal bath, I’m going to make you salmon and rice and whatever else I can pick up on short notice, and we are going to have a nice quiet night where you get at least ten hours of sleep.”
“Mrrrrnnn… nyaaaa…” Blake grumbled and hissed much like a disgruntled cat, ears going flat and tail lashing side to side even as she let Yang carry her away without much protest. “I don’t even need to sleep! And besides, it’s only been fifty hours and I’m barely a quarter of the way through unfucking your financials! Do you even know how many idiots thought they could embezzle off of you? You had money leaks everywhere! A full quarter of the last two days was spent making examples of them!”
“And I appreciate that, but you don’t need to finish it now, and it’s not like I’m about to run out of money.” She immediately shot back, shaking her head. “Now if you keep grumbling, I’ll have to break out my secret weapon, and you’ll be covered in violet lipstick kisses that’ll make you look sparkly.” Saying this, she shuffled around for a moment before pulling out a violet lipstick tube. “It’s glossy.”
“Hdlgskkdfsdgssdfsdhffsdf,” Blake responded elegantly, scrunching in on herself even more while her tail floofed out with a series of emotions only describable as being a huge bottom. “Guh.”
“Excellent!” Yang laughed, before walking through one of Ruby’s doorways, pushing it open with her butt as she did so and being careful to not accidentally knock Blake against the doorframe. The immediate change in the ‘atmosphere’ of the room removed the minor tension in Yang’s body as an added bonus. “Now, I’m not the best chef, but fish and rice is easy. Ruby should be joining us, and… I have no idea where Weiss is, actually. Do you want a drink first, a bath, or something else?”
“I-” Blake yawned quietly, blinking a few times before rubbing her eyes with a bit of a betrayed glare at nothing. “... A drink would be nice. I feel… a lot more dry than I usually am. Aa… where did I put my Kaiju Blue…?”
“Yeah, no. You’ll have water to start with and then I might upgrade you to juice or soda. Probably pineapple, actually.” She idly commented, gently depositing Blake into one of the kitchen chairs before stepping around and grabbing a cup to fill. “Now, anything you specifically want with your fish and rice? Vinegar? Soy sauce? Oyster sauce? Noodles instead of rice? Some leafy greens?”
“Soy sauce… and broccoli,” Blake requested, sitting there limply and just huffing whilst burying her face in her arms against the table. “Ugh… there’s still so many leftovers in the fridge… Or at least, there should be… it’s not like I ever stopped cooking everything I could get my hands on…”
“Riiiiight… Leftovers…” Yang said shiftily even as she walked through the kitchen with purpose, collecting a few pots and pans as she did. “Those are definitely a thing that existed. Yeah…”
“... Dammit… that means I didn’t stock enough,” Blake hissed irritably, slumping even further and continuing to grumble in irritation. “... You know you really don’t have to cook for me, right? I have… so much spare meat I sealed inside a subzero cave up in Solitas.”
“Babe. You’ve been up for two days.” Yang flatly said as she frowned at Blake. “Now, I understand that I am a stamina freak that can fight for a consecutive ten days and only feel mildly tired, but I’m gonna preface that with the fact that Ruby doesn’t normally feel exhaustion. You are yawning after two days, which means S- which means Devil Form or not, you still feel tired. And I’m not trusting you with a wok, a pot, or a pan, while you’re tired, and especially not next to a gas oven.”
“I’m only yawning because I’m dehydrated and my brain’s been on fire trying to make all the numbers line up properly…” Blake protested weakly, waving off Yang’s concern. “I can fight for way longer than that! Not that I’ve had to recently… still! I just need a snack and a drink and I’ll be fine!”
She paused, then lightly sniffed herself. “... Okay, the bath might be necessary too. I’ve… got a little B.O. going on…”
“More than a little.” Yang said mercilessly, but didn’t punctuate that with anything rude.
“Weh…” Blake grumbled, pouting like the disgruntled cat that she was. “I don’t smell that bad… it’s only been two days and the sweat was minimal anyway… Not like fighting for a week straight and getting soaked in blood and sweat and gunpowder…”
“Uh-huh.” Yang looked over her shoulder as some kind of abomination kitchen setup began to take form. “Do you like your broccoli strained, by the way? And do you want it fried or boiled? Also how do you feel about squid with your salmon, because when Ruby shows up she’ll probably want some squid and I’ll just be making a pot.”
“Just steamed broccoli is fine,” Blake huffed, accepting that Yang wasn’t about to let her cook at the moment. “Squid is good too… you know, if I just used my Devil Trigger, I’d be completely refreshed in five seconds. This… really isn’t necessary.”
“Blake, I’m gonna ask you a question before I call you an idiot, kay?” The Dragon woman said sweetly as she looked at her… whatever they were to each other. “Are you really, and I mean really, gonna throw out the opportunity to have an amazon figured dragon woman with purple lipstick pamper you, cook you food, and run you a bath, before you come out refreshed and get to enjoy the rest of the night with her, JUST TO GET BACK TO SOME CRUMMY FUCKING SPREADSHEETS!?” Her eye twitched in irritation as the verbal minefield set itself.
“... I-” Blake sunk back in her chair, ears folding back as she reassessed all of her priorities from work mode to dumb lesbian mode. “... No ma’am… I’ll be good ma’am…”
“Great!” Yang went straight back to all smiles as she clicked on a rice cooker. “By the way, don’t trust myself to make wok-based fried rice, so you’re getting rice cooker rice. And since Ruby’ll be joining us, tonight’ll be active for a good bit. But you’ll be nice and relaxed by tomorrow!”
“I don’t know where you put your strap, but it isn’t in Inkopolis.” Ruby walked into the room and started shuffling through the drawers. “So don’t ask me when you’re looking for it tonight.”
“It’s probably in the cleaning tub in the bathroom,” Blake mumbled sort of on instinct, then almost stood up before thinking better of it. Yang had just plopped her perfect butt down onto one of the kitchen chairs, she’d probably be pretty upset if Blake got up now. “... Hi Ruby. How was Inkopolis?”
“Good. Octavio is about to try shit again so we’ll see who comes up to face him.” Ruby hummed and finally pulled a… perfectly normal gun out of the drawers. It looked almost like the gun attached to Gambol Shroud. “Hopefully someone less dour than Three. Love that girl, but she needs a good fucking. Also need to have someone deal with Kamabo, but I’ll see how the initial infiltration by Three and Craig does before I try anything there.”
“Fun, fun.” Yang said idly, throwing some squid into a wok after a moment. “Any preferences for dinner tonight, Rubes? Blake isn’t allowed to cook cause she gave herself mental exhaustion, so I’m going to pamper her tonight. Or I can pamper the both of you tonight, if you’d like.” She added on after a moment, grabbing a ladle.
“Nothing in particular.” Ruby pulled back the slide and it snapped back with a satisfying click . “Might be back late. Cardin is going out and I need to find him in an alleyway.”
“Don’t kill him yet, I wanna kick him in the balls,” Blake shook her head, then hummed consideringly. “Kamabo… Kamabo… Well, if my memories are right, Three’s probably gonna find something interesting down there. Who knows if that’ll pan out the way I think it will, though.”
“I’ve got no idea which one Kamabo is and at this point I don’t really care.” Yang shrugged before scooping up Ruby after a moment. “You’ll be back for dinner, right? I don’t want my efforts to be wasted. And hunting down one idiot shouldn’t take you more than ten minutes, right?”
“I’ll be back.” Ruby quickly tucked the gun into her cloak and walked to the door. “Don’t wait up anyway. Tomorrow we have… I think it’s supposed to be important? Or something. Anyway, all of us are going to need to be around.”
“We do have Oobleck’s class tomorrow and he’s annoyingly perceptive about me using doppelgangers…” Blake sighed, watching Ruby head out. Still, she waved to catch Ruby’s attention, sending one last parting comment. “You’re still gonna try to get me pregnant tonight, right?”
“Two ladies waiting for you to try… And you’re gonna waste the night going after some loser instead? What a shame…” Yang smirked as she went back to cooking, cocking her legs after a moment. “Are you feeling okay, Ruby?”
“Just fine.” Ruby took the time to look back in a way that was conventionally possible. “Dealing with Cardin is annoying, and he’s part of the leadership classes. Along with Jaune. Who isn’t helping. I’ll talk to him later as well. Tomorrow. With less gun.”
…
“ Maybe less gun.”
“Just hurry back~. I’m making fried squid.” Yang hummed with a smile, knowing that, at the very least, Ruby was hooked enough to come back early. Just as planned. “And if you’re going to kill him, leave him in the dumpster on fifth and it’ll be gone before morning~.”
“Usually I just dump corpses into a sand pit in the middle of the Vacuoan desert. No one ever thinks to look for a missing person twenty thousand miles away from their last known location,” Blake mused, tilting her head a bit before pushing back from the table and shaking her head. “... Not really important though.”
“He won’t be dead. Being annoying isn’t reason enough to kill someone.” Ruby paused in the doorway a moment, her head tilted. “Here. Not enough here. In Inkopolis it’s common enough. Keeps assholes quiet. Let’s see if shooting can get the same result here…”
Watching Ruby leave through one of her doorways, Yang hummed before going back to her cooking. “He’ll have nightmares for the next three weeks. Then he’ll forget about it. Upside, she’s not exposing him to the Amygdala. Even with the rest of the Dream gone and buried low, those assholes still climb out of the woodwork. Not as ugly anymore, though. They become weird squid monster things. And then they learn how to be Squidlings.”
“... I’m just glad no demons have invaded, honestly… it’d be… annoying… dealing with all of that…” Blake mused, sipping at her glass of water for the first time since she’d received it and pretending like it wasn’t exactly what she needed after fifty consecutive hours of long, dry, annoying spreadsheet work. “Mmnnnrrrrrr~”
“You’ve been keeping me fed even though you don’t really need to, so let me take care of you.” Yang mumbled softly, smiling at Blake. And then a thought occurred. “Wait a minute. Blake? Weird question, but you have like… magic magic, right? Like the type of dumb shit that Cinder chick has? Or, something like it?”
“... Something like that…? Demon magic is pretty vague in application but I can use it for… a lot, honestly,” Blake shrugged, generating a little swirl of violet flames around her fingers for emphasis. “Usually it’s lightning, but fire is fine too. Plus there’s all the spacetime slashing I do with the Yamato… Coating a blade with flames is also the easiest way to cook something, honestly.”
“Riiiiight.” Yang made a vague affirmative noise, before she decided to hit what she was thinking with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer. “Can you grow a dick? Like an actual one, I mean. Not a strap, or something that’s just a vague cylinder, but like cock and balls, working sexual organs, that kind of thing? Could have children using it if you wanted, type of thing?”
Blake blinked, blushing a little. “... Yes. Yes I can. I-if I wanted to, that is…”
“Ruby’s gonna eat you for lunch and dinner.” Yang said without hesitation, before she pulled out her lipstick again and smiled at it. “And I have something fun I can do after you’ve had your dinner and your bath. It’ll get you real nice and relaxed, I promise…”
“O-okay…” Blake sort of trembles, blushing a little. “Sounds great…”
Haaah… Life is good for Blake Belladonna.
It’s an hour and a half later that Blake gingerly stepped out of the bathroom in a fluffy robe, her new addition still showing through despite her effort. She blushed a little, pressing her thighs together with her ears back and tail swishing to show her anxiety.
“I-I’m not used to having one of these again…” she mumbled awkwardly, taking delicate, silent steps towards Yang. “I don’t really know how long I’ll last… didn’t really ever last long when I did have this…”
Yang just smiled at her, standing up and meeting Blake in the middle, taking hold of the cat faunus’ robe. She was naked, of course, and her lips were a very bright, very glossy purple. “Hey, that’s fine. It doesn’t matter how long you last, we can work on that together. But I do have a question for you. Oral first, or do you want to get to the main course?”
“A-ah… w-whatever works for you,” Blake sort of just whimpered, completely unused to the idea of having sex with a penis again. “G-god, we’ve already had sex so many times, why is this so much more embarrassing now with a dick?”
“Couldn’t tell you.” Yang cheerily hummed, leaning in and giving Blake a nice purple shine to her lips before gently guiding her over to the bed and pushing her into a sitting position. And then she knelt down and put her hands on the front of Blake’s robe. She didn’t open it, and instead looked expectantly at Blake. “We’ll go at your speed. So I’ll get you nice and ready, and then I’ll give you a ride. But you’ll wanna hold on to the handle bars so I don’t go too fast~.”
“Y-yeah…” Blake bit her lip, then slowly opened her robe to reveal… a completely ordinary penis. Decently sized, no real frills or extra bits, the only oddity of its entire construction was the fact that there was a little demonic rune right above it, almost like a glowing purple pubic tattoo. “I… yeah. Okay. I think I’m ready. It’s… really weird feeling how hard I am for the first time… ever in this life…”
“Then I’ll make it special.” Yang promised as she leaned in close, giving the base of Blake’s shaft a quick kiss that left a very visible lipstick mark on it. “I’ll also let you in on a little secret.” Instead of elaborating, she grinned up at Blake and then opened her mouth, revealing a lot more tongue than any amount of tongue kisses would’ve given the indication of. “Paht off be-ng a dah-gon. I haff a four ffut long tongue.”
“H-hwaaah…?” Blake immediately looked like she was about to faint, staring at Yang’s tongue in genuine surprise. “S-since when did you have all that tongue!? And why haven’t you been using it on me this whole time!?”
Blinking, Yang slurped her tongue back into her mouth and grinned an embarrassed grin. “I haven’t really needed to. You tend to clamp your legs around my head when I start on your outside, so I normally just stick to that.”
“... Okay, fair, but… I still wanna have four feet of dragon tongue in me,” Blake huffed, looking away petulantly. “A-anyway… c-can you start? A-and be gentle? It’s already awkward enough just sitting here with my dick out, and I’m already about as hard as I can get…”
“I’ll treat you real nice, I promise.” Yang smirked, before slowly inching her way down, giving Blake’s cock another kiss, the tip this time compared to the base. It’s much slower than the expected, Yang immediately taking what she wanted and removing Blake’s soul in the process, but it was also more intimate, peppered kisses, giggling whenever Blake gasped or squeaked. And all of this just from lavishing it with attention instead of taking it into her mouth. If this kept up, it could practically be colored purple by the end.
“H-hnn…gh… a-ah… oh gods why did I make it so sensitive-” Blake choked out, gasping and curling her toes already just from Yang’s foreplay, leaning back and fluttering her ears madly while her tail flicked wildly behind her. “Y-Yang… h-holy shit I really should have dialed it down- oh god I think I’m gonna cum already-!”
Hearing that, Yang let out an odd sound that felt one part encouraging and one part disappointed, before she took Blake’s cock straight to the base in her mouth-
“Hnrgh~!” Blake let out a sound that was definitely… a sound… her cock twitching wildly for a moment before sending a few spurts of hot, gooey cum into Yang’s throat. She breathed out, shuddering and shaking and panting a little from that first orgasm. “G-guh… o-okay… h-hold on… s-sorry… I forgot… penises aren’t… aren’t supposed to have the same nerve density as a clit down the entire length…”
Slowly pushing herself up, Yang softly chuckled as she pet Blake on the thigh. “There’s nothing to be ashamed of, Blake. You did so well, holding out under all of that for as long as you did. And I’ve definitely given you a few markings that I’m proud of.” She grinned, pointedly looking at the purple lipstick rings and kiss marks peppered along Blake’s flesh, even depositing one onto her thigh after that thought.
“S-still… bweh…” Blake slumped a little, demonic power flaring around her hand and newly formed cock as she adjusted the settings. “I’m… not usually that much of a quick shot… u-usually it takes at least a few minutes for the first one… stupid sensitivity issue… I’ll get it right this time.”
“Hmm. It was cute, seeing you gasp like that.” Yang giggled softly as she leant up on her knees, leaning in to give Blake a quick kiss. “Do you want me to keep going, or do you want me to move to the main event? And before you say, my choice, I want you to pick.”
Blake… really had to think about that for a moment. “... U-um… keep going? It did feel really good… but um… I did… kinda… wanna try something dumb for the main event…?”
She even poked her fingers together awkwardly, blushing and looking away. “... I didn’t wanna make it too big, y’know… but um… it does get bigger if I use Devil Trigger. I-if you’re into that.”
“I can be if you want me to be.” Yang teased as she lowered herself back down. “I don’t mind, babe. And besides, you don’t look bad when you’re changed, I’m sure, so it’ll be fun.” She put a strand of hair behind her ear before going back to what she was doing before, taking Blake’s length into her mouth. A bit more aggressively, this time, but still with the same gentle rhythm as before, Yang clearly wasn’t trying to overwhelm her girlfriend-fiance-sorta wife-whatever they were.
“R-right… o-oh… oh yeah… that’s way… way better…” Blake breathed out slowly, biting her lip and fisting her hands in the bedsheets, far less wound up than the last round and yet still feeling every bit of Yang’s tongue on her cock. She even started unconsciously moving her hips, thrusting lightly into Yang’s mouth while the blonde moved back and forth. “Oh god… that feels so good… f-fuck…”
Yang let out a hum, the vibration reverberating through Blake’s cock and causing the cat faunus to fall apart with a whimper. Seeing this, she’d smirk if her mouth wasn’t occupied, but instead she decided to have a little more fun, leaning up to the head of Blake’s cock and then slowly wrapping her tongue down its length, spiralling it as she did. “C’mon, Blake. Cum for me.”
“N-ngghhh…. I-I’m trying r-really hard not to be a quickshot right now…” Blake wheezed out, her entire body going as taut as a bowstring from the intensity of what Yang was doing to her. Even with her cock being tuned less sensitive, the spikes of pleasure jamming their way up her spine still made her feel like she was on the verge of cumming-
“G-gah!”
And there she went, cumming once again and trembling weakly while her cock spurted out yet another load onto Yang’s tongue. “Mrrrrrr…”
Leaning down to catch the gift she was just given, Yang softly chuckled as she watched Blake’s legs twitch, her hand coming up to gently pet her on the leg as she slowly unwound her tongue, dragging it back inside of her mouth and pointedly swallowing. Letting out a breath, she stood enough to push Blake further onto the bed and crawled up, straddling her quickly and without mercy. “Good girl. Now I hope you can handle what’s about to happen, cause I don’t wanna accidentally hurt you, kay?”
“I’m literally… one of… the strongest demons anywhere in the universe,” Blake mumbled out, starting to breathe quicker as Yang straddled her. She looked up, gulping a little. “... If you ride me as hard as I think you’re about to ride me, I’m pretty sure the building isn’t going to survive.”
“The building’ll survive. It’s rated to handle Ruby in full pregnancy frenzy trying to knock me up.” Yang grinned, then slowly shifted herself lower. “I hope your dick’s as strong as the rest of you though, otherwise this is gonna get really awkward. Also I tend to go limp when I cum so if you haven’t finished just roll me over and keep going.”
“Trust me, I’m going to finish before you do,” Blake smiled a bit tightly, then took a deep breath and focused. “... Please don’t say anything about what I’m about to say. I literally need the mnemonic to use Devil Trigger.”
And without waiting for Yang to reply, she quickly intoned the words, “This. Is. Power.”
One giant flare of demonic energy and flames washing over her later, there she was- almost as tall as Yang, coated in pitch black armor plating and almost leather-like skin, sharp clawed and razor fanged, glowing between the seams of her armor with hellishly violet light.
… Also her tits were out, and her nipples were definitely glowing that same purple, as were the lines of her now demonic cock… which had also expanded several inches in length and circumference.
“Oh, hello there.” Yang’s previously soft smile became a half-lidded smirk as she raised herself higher, moving her arms from what were now Blake’s sides to beside her head. “I can definitely work with this. But, since you’re like this, give my girls a squeeze. Ruby’s obsessed with them and I’ve gotten used to the feeling.” She demanded, before using her tail to line herself up. She doesn’t immediately drop, instead swaying from side to side as her smirk shifted to a more smug expression.
“Right…” Blake purred out, grabbing Yang’s breasts with a newfound sense of confidence now that she has the full force of her demon blood running through her. “Let’s have some fun!”
Letting out a soft grunt at Blake’s new strength, surprising but not painful, Yang blew out a breath before dropping, feeling the fresh heat of her partner’s transformation fill her body swiftly and wholly, suffusing her with warmth and forcing out a quiet groan as her legs shook. Gone was the smug confidence, the teasing, even the gentle encouragement. In its place was a blushing, twitching mess, riding a cock almost too much for her, while her breasts were squeezed and played with. “A-ah… fast… big…”
“T-tight…” Blake rumbled in response, hissing through her teeth and looking almost taken aback by how quickly Yang had gone from top to bottom. “Gonna fill you up… you ready…?”
Yang’s mouth opened, but a sudden thrust stole her breath away and caused her legs to tighten against her paramour’s waist, so she settled for shallowly nodding her head and resting her head against Blake’s chest, not caring about the armor plates or whatever they were. “M-mhmmm…”
“Then… here we go!”
Life was good for Blake Belladonna and Yang Xiao-Long. Good indeed.
Chapter 18: Beacon Days- Carmine Secrets Spoken (Ruby 5)
Chapter by Argo_The_Rat, CyberQueen_Jolyne, desolatedsabers, InternecionWitch
Summary:
Lunch!
Jaune also does something stupid, but that isn't news.
Chapter Text
It turned out that everyone really had needed to be in class today. Which made Ruby forcing them all to, physically , make it a good thing. It’d kind of suck if it hadn’t really been necessary. Made her look like a leader that didn’t know what was going on or what was important. Not that her title meant much, really, considering how everyone in the team was their own variant of hyper-lethal, but it was a title she did want to properly execute.
Regardless, lunch. Blake had attempted to teleport away to make everyone lunch on her own, but Ruby had blocked her. She needed more rest after spending 50 hours working on spreadsheets because Yang doesn’t know how money works. Not that she can’t use it or anything, but from what she’d said in the past it was more that money just… was completely irrelevant to her. She wanted something and she could either take it, which didn’t involve money, or take something else in order to get it, which was occasionally money.
Not that Ruby can really say anything. Inkopolis didn’t really have what people would call a… functioning economy . Sorta the point, really. The entire thing was just a massive circus to keep Ruby and her kids happy. Dealing with actual economic issues and the problems with which economy to use would break from that. So… just don’t!
Perfect solution. No notes. It absolutely wouldn’t cause any issues later on.
None.
Ever.
Anyway. What was… oh right. The school lunch. Which… wasn’t super terrible but was also… school lunch. You’d think they’d go premium on this, really. Food was a good way to put people into a good mood, and everyone wanted to be in a good mood when it came to hunting Grimm. Except for that one strategy, but that was special. Team RRAH (Pronounced Rajah) had perhaps the single most depressed Hunter in existence, and with the way Ryoga’s Semblance worked nobody else would ever be able to recreate their strategy.
“I didn’t land far from the school!” Right, right. Stop navel gazing, Ruby. Focus on how much of a bitch Jaune was. Seriously, it’s like the guy never got a backbone or anything. Even being unquestionably the weakest in the class the dude is at Beacon . That had to be some sort of confidence booster, right?
“Jaune, you know, if you ever need help, you can just ask.” Pyrrha, if he hasn’t asked now he won’t ever ask. This is when something called ‘tough love’ is necessary.
Or something.
Listen, dealing with someone with confidence issues wasn’t exactly something you learned in Yharnam. Mostly because those people tended to be dead. Or crazy. Or monsters pretending to have confidence issues. Which ended with them dead anyway and let's just move on from this, okay?
“Almost anyone here would be capable of helping, Jaune. At some point we’re going to stop asking. A Hunter that falls behind risks not only themself, but all their teammates as well.” Ruby gestured to _NPR. “Do you think, when you fuck up, that they won’t rush in to save you? You don’t need to be the strongest or the fastest, but you need to be able to keep yourself alive long enough to lead . And not be a little bitch who hides in the back and cowers behind a shield.”
Shield users were maidenless, all of them.
“Oooh!” Nora’s hand smacked onto the table. “We’ll teach you how to break Cardin’s legs!”
“Hot-dog style’s harder but a lot more satisfying than hamburger style.” Yang interjected, getting a look from Nora and Pyrrha as they tried to figure out what that meant. Even Blake stared at her oddly. “Y’know. Breaking sideways is how legs’re spose’ to break. You break ‘em downwards and it’s way more satisfying.”
“... I don’t think I’ve ever tried to break someone’s leg like that,” Blake mumbled, narrowing her eyes before turning to face Jaune. “Either ask Pyrrha to teach you how to use your sword, or I’m going to force you to learn how to use a sword. And trust me. You do not want me teaching you how to fight. I will not go easy on you.”
The menace of her words was, perhaps, a little bit dulled from the fact that she was holding an ice pack against her crotch.
“It’d probably suck for you.” Yang mumbled, an odd look in her eye as she said it, before shaking her head. “Anyway. You’re reasonably strong, you’ve got enough Aura to actually do something with it even before unlocking a semblance, and Pyrrha’s beginning to push past the first level of it and turn it into actual, usable, Haki. Even if you relied entirely on a brawler’s style we could make something of you in a week or two. How fast do you heal, exactly?” She turned to Jaune, and smothered a grin when he whimpered quietly.
“Guys, really, it’s fine.” Jaune held his hands up placatingly. It didn’t work , but the effort was… well entirely wasted, honestly. “Besides, it’s not like he’s only a jerk to me ; he’s a jerk to everyone.”
As if by some cosmic coincidence a small yell managed to pierce through the usual noise of the cafeteria. Everyone turned to see-
“Ow, that hurts!” Velvet was attempting to slap Cardin’s hand off her ears. Finally she just slumped as the much larger man just laughed off her attempts. “Please stop…
“Dibs on the bunny.” Yang said quickly, cracking her knuckles.
BANG!
Unfortunately for Yang, Ruby had a gun. A gun which completely accidentally fired and hit Cardin’s knee. After she had, in preparation for later, placed Bone Marrow Ash into it.
This is why you make sure your safeties are good and working, people.
“GAH!” Ohh, that sounded like it cracked. Maybe he should have been more careful after his Aura had broken in sparring class. Cardin crumpled to the floor-
BANG!
Correction- Cardin would have crumpled to the floor, had he not been facing Velvet, and, more importantly, the table Velvet was sitting at. So when he fell forward his face met the seat. Then it met the floor.
“Hm. I thought we would have heard a ‘bong’ when his head hit something.” There had to be nothing up there after Ruby had mugged him… a day or two ago? She’d been jumping between here and Inkopolis too much recently. It was screwing with her sense of time. Not that she had a good one usually , but still. Anyway, the man didn’t seem to learn from his brush with death that could have been avoided if he wasn’t such a big asshole.
Pouting, Yang turned to Ruby and crossed her arms. “Not fair, Rubes. Not fair. I called dibs.”
“I kinda wanted to…” Blake huffed, putting away Wilt from where it had been halfway unsheathed already. “Darn. Well… then again… I can still cut off his hand.”
Once again, the menace in her words would have been way more impressive if her walking speed wasn’t basically a hobble at the moment. She may have outlasted Yang last night… but boy were her hips paying for it now.
“No. Leave it for now.” Ruby huffed. “Come on, Jaune. We need to speak.”
“Wha- hey!” Jaune flailed as the much smaller woman grabbed him. “Ruby!”
“No objections.” There were some questions that needed answers. “We both have gone to the same leadership classes. This is a test.”
“Good luck, Jaune. Remember that a team is more than the sum of its parts!” Yang waved at them as Jaune was dragged away.
With those words of encouragement, Ruby accelerated them both out to a quiet spot. One she ensured wouldn’t be interrupted or overheard.
“Now, Jaune.” The man in question took a few wobbling steps to drop down onto a stone bench. The place was a nice little picnic area off to the side of the main campus. A nice stone table dominated the space, with appropriate seating. “Cardin being a dick to everyone doesn’t mean it’s okay he’s a dick to you. You understand that, right?”
“I mean… he’s just joking around with me!” Jaune waved it off. “I’m fine, okay? I don’t need any help.”
“You do. You need a lot of help. You’re actively bad at sparring and have failed to properly answer literally every single question any Professor has thrown at you.” It was… actually a little impressive to be that bad. Seriously. “I’m certain Pyrrha wouldn’t mind helping, but she can only train your body.”
“You don’t think I should be at Beacon, don’t you.” Instead of being angry, as literally everyone else would have been, Jaune just… curled into himself. His shoulders drooped and he looked all depressed.
Not good. Ruby couldn’t handle depressed. In any way except beating them until they stopped, anyway.
“No. Not as you are.” See? Exactly like that. Do not let Ruby handle depressed people. “Beacon is supposed to take only the most exceptional of students. Or at least that's on the pamphlets. As one of the four schools set up in the wake of the Great War it was meant not only to restore the population of Hunters, but also to ensure the best and brightest were given an education separate from any one Kingdom.”
Plus a lot of other things. The Treaty of Vytal, and the things surrounding it, made for some interesting reading, honestly. It was a very tense time in history and the war could easily have been restarted down the road if things hadn’t gone exactly as they had. Mostly at the behest of the King of Vale, who’d definitely been wise beyond his years. And not in an insane sort of way.
Mostly.
Why had he been so focused on laws protecting people within marriages, especially if one was supposedly violent or whatever?
Anyway.
“You got in, and that is very impressive.” Ruby tilted her head to stare at the man in front of her. “It means you can get to the level you require. But it means work. A lot of work. Nobody gets strong through a random twist of fate.” Well… that’s wrong, honestly. But Jaune doesn’t have Protagonist energy so he isn’t about to randomly find Excalibur or anything. Or a bigass Kanabo. Or… something. Hm. Yang hadn’t mentioned her big enemy really using a weapon. “You can train now, or you can go out to hunt yourself and bleed for it.”
“You’re wrong.” Hm? That… well he might be right, but probably not. Ruby has a lot of experience here. That’s generally how things are. “I don’t belong here.”
Oh, that went in a different direction than expected.
“What makes you say that?” Ruby waved a hand. “You’re here. You’re wearing the uniform.”
“I wasn’t really accepted into Beacon.” For the first time Jaune looked up. “I didn’t go to combat school, I didn’t pass any tests. I lied! I got some fake transcripts and I lied !”
“So?” Jaune just blinked dumbly at the answer. “You got in. You’re here. You have the option to obtain help.” Ruby tapped on the contract that sat on the table. The same one that’d been left on the counter the last time she spoke with him. “You can go to Pyrrha and your team and say you want help. They’ll give you time and effort and you’ll learn, because they’re your team and a team helps its members . If you don’t want to do that you can sign here.”
“What… even is this?” The contract didn’t glow or pulse or do any such thing. It was written plainly, on parchment, and remained as such even as Jaune grabbed it. “Do you think a… silly contract is going to help? I’m going to get expelled! We all know it! The only reason I’m still around is Professor Qrow finds me funny.”
To be fair- it was really funny.
“It will help.” Jaune swallowed. In front of him was no longer Ruby Rose. It was The Good Hunter. It was the one that killed Flora and took everything she had. The Hunter of her own kind. Something which represented the ideal, the dream, that he had wanted to obtain. That pushed him into finding faked records and attending a school he wasn’t in any way ready for. “You will change, shift, and even I won’t know who and what you’ll be when you come out. But you’ll be ready to stay here, at Beacon. You will be able to lead your team well, and keep yourself safe. Do honor unto your name, or whatever other fanciful notion you have in that head of yours.”
“That… sounds really suspicious.” Jaune took a deep breath and looked at the contract. The terms were simple, just as Flora’s terms had been simple. Jaune would give himself, body and mind (not soul, those things were just ugggh), unto Ruby, and in exchange he would be given the skills and abilities that were required to attend Beacon Academy.
“It is. Because this is a deal with a devil, Jaune. I will give you what you want, in exchange for taking what I want.” That was how it was. That was how it would always be. “You will still be you, but some would argue that. You will have been changed and altered and have a new perspective. Some would say that in doing such I would kill you, others would not. Philosophy was never something I bothered with, much.”
“Hm.” Jaune swallowed. “Neither have I.” And he signed.
“So the agreement is done.” Ruby rubbed her neck. “Craig and Three have just found themselves in a sticky sort of situation. So head on down and help them, Agent Five.”
And Jaune was gone.
Chapter 19: Beacon Days- Sect Sleuthing (Weiss 5)
Chapter by CyberQueen_Jolyne, InternecionWitch
Summary:
Weiss and Blake go investigate that cult that exists.
Chapter Text
Weiss paused her wandering the streets of Vale as she came across a poster, ‘Join the Brotherhood of the Night, we have cookies.’ . That, couldn’t actually work right? “Should we do something about that?”
Blake, standing beside her, just shrugged. “What do I know what to do with a cult poster? I’m a doppelganger of a woman who literally joined a violent militant rebellion organized like a genocidal cult when she was twelve. Honestly, technically I shouldn’t exist… but soul mechanics are weird and Shadow mixes with Doppelganger really well. Can’t do most of my stronger shit, though… no Yamato, no Judgment Cut.”
Weiss tore the poster off the wall, only a small corner of it ripping off and staying attached. “Perfect, you’ll know how to actually find the cult meeting then. Today was getting boring anyway.” She could have gotten a new crate of ammo delivered but there was far much more paperwork. So she was forced to go actually buy it, in person. And then haul it back like an idiot.
Unfortunately the poster didn’t list an address. Or a phone number. “Any ideas?” She asked the former cult member.
“Well… if it’s a poster that’s out in the open and just brazenly displayed like this, there’s really only two options,” Blake hummed, taking the poster from Weiss and squinting at it. “Either the cult is based in this building that we’re next to… which is unlikely considering that this is a Faunus owned, White Fang… sorta friendly… bakery… or there’s a secret code written into the poster that gives directions to the actual location. That, or it’s just got the scavenger hunt type deal going where the posters have drawings that point to other posters and so on and so forth until you get to the meeting hall.”
Blake paused, tilting her head. “There were a lot of rallies with posters like that, though they were usually less blatant. Like a Faunus support group poster where the stock photos and art on the posters sorta lined up to make a White Fang symbol if you squinted at it. Or posters where the ink was printed in such a way that you could only see the White Fang symbol if you had Faunus style night vision. Which, fun fact, different from regular night vision. Very subtly, but it’s something about the eye structures versus how light interacts with cameras? I don’t remember all the details and Faunus biology isn’t something I specialized in.”
One more awkward pause for the road as Blake cleared her throat and started scanning over the poster for details, golden eyes darting around on the page with precise and unhurried movements. “... Looks like this is one of the dumber cult posters. They hid the address in a very faintly darker ink on top of a slightly lighter black background. Most people wouldn’t be able to tell. People who spend a lot of time in the dark or staring at different colors of black would. Or if they have good eyes and all. The text isn’t even raised, so it’s not like it’d catch the light from a certain angle…”
Weiss squinted, and sure enough, there was the address slightly hard to see. She grabbed her Scroll from a Glyph and took a picture, then severely upped the contrast and there it was, plain as day, mostly. “That was, easier than I thought it would be. Then again this is a cult worshipping Grimm, I don't think intelligence is going to be one of their defining traits.”
Weiss folded up the poster and stowed it in a pocket before realizing she forgot something. “How long were you going to let me drag around this crate before reminding me I could put it in hammerspace?” How did she even do that? She used it for literally everything she owned.
“... I thought you just couldn’t fit it through the opening, honestly,” Blake shrugged, turning to face said ammo crate with a raised eyebrow. “Then again, I guess it’s kinda silly to assume you actually have a size limit on a pocket dimension’s opening. I certainly don’t. Or… the real me. The one with Yamato. Which I think I totally should have because at this point the Yamato’s a part of my soul but what do I know, I’m literally a tiny fraction of Blake’s actual soul. Still enough to kill just about anything we could come up against, but ugh… doing regular wind slashes feels so lame after you learn how to cut spacetime in half.”
“There there Blake.” Weiss patted the doppelganger's shoulder. “All of us manage to survive without the Yamato, you can manage an afternoon without it.” Although that sort of called into question how sentient the doppelgangers were…
…
Blake thought it was fine therefore it probably was fine. She was not unpacking that can of worms today, they had a cult to infiltrate after all.
Weiss snapped her fingers and a relatively massive glyph opened up underneath the crate, letting it drop in without a shred of effort. “Right, time to go find the cult meeting. This address is in the industrial district right?”
“Yeah. The industrial part of Vale has a lot of abandoned or otherwise underutilized warehouses,” Blake nodded, relying on her knowledge of White Fang operations to sort through what she knew. “A lot of places I know we can avoid, or will happily help us. Either because I was Adam’s lieutenant… or because I’m now Yang’s. Er… real me is, but who’s gonna know? The only reason Oobleck can tell the difference is… uh… unknown- anyway point is, it’s in a part of the industrial district that’s largely defunct. Old companies writing off the buildings as tax losses so no one else can use them and they can’t be bulldozed until the city declares them unsafe, companies that just went defunct without ever selling off those warehouses and then losing the records so no one can buy them… I’m pretty sure one warehouse was just a front put up by some shell company to pretend that they had actual product moving in and out while their actual business was some kind of combination pyramid scheme and general scam service… the address here is… huh. Old White Fang safehouse that got abandoned because the cops found it during a rally. I guess it has been three years since it’s been used for anything…”
Weiss nodded as they started walking west. “I think Oobleck drinks so much coffee he can just see beyond the veil or something. His weapon is a thermos full of it, and I think he gets it specially imported from Vacuo.” Vacuo did not fuck around with their coffee, they didn’t fuck around with anything.
“That, or it’s gasoline,” Blake deadpanned. She paused, then narrowed her eyes. “... What’s really weird is that they managed to get to an industrial, empty warehouse that isn’t under Yang’s business empire. And I would know if a warehouse was listed or not, I spent fifty goddamn hours combing over the numbers.”
She paused again, clearing her throat. “That’s a lie. I spent way longer than fifty hours but don’t tell Yang I learned how to do the closest thing the Yamato can do to stopping time. Real me. You know what I mean. God this would be such an existential crisis if I wasn’t aware of the fact that I’m going to burst into stardust and magic later.”
“Yeah. I would probably be having an existential crisis so props to you for, not.” Weiss already had an entire month of angsting about metal being fused to her spine before she realized how cool it was, she was not eager to repeat it. “What are the odds we can just walk in the front door? Because surely they would realize we’re not exactly mook material and actually huntresses in training? Or are they actually dumb enough to not ask questions?” Often enough there was no limit to human and faunus stupidity after all, and Weiss had the feeling this group was part of the reason shampoo needed instructions.
“They’re a bunch of Grimm worshipping idiots who tried attacking the walls not long ago,” Blake deadpanned flatly, rolling her eyes. “I doubt they’re smart enough to realize we’re a threat. Then again… you did spend a lot of time fighting Grimm. They might recognize you. You’re uh… pretty noticeable.”
Blake, saying this, made a show of looking over at Weiss’ wings and cybernetics, all of which were very visible and not hidden in the slightest. She shrugged. “At least I have the benefit of being able to stab myself so hard that I change into a different person… well. Real me has to stab herself. I’m a Doppelganger so I can just… poof. Change into a different person.”
“Right then, guess I should probably throw on a hoodie or something… Not really a fan of doing this.” Weiss cringed a little and suddenly her glowing wings dimmed and started folding back, becoming mostly flush with the curve of her back. She snapped her fingers and a Glyph washed over her, changing out her combat attire for just a hoodie and some jeans. Pretty much all of her cybernetics were hidden between the baggy clothes. Except for her neck and hands anyway. “Not a fan of this. It feels, weird. Like my spine is itching sort of…”
“Oh right, I almost forgot.” She realized. She opened up another Glyph and pulled out a set of leather driving gloves and a red scarf, which she quickly put on. “Right then, did I hide everything?” She gave a quick spin for Blake. Or her Doppelganger. Fuck this was confusing.
“Looooks… just about good? I mean, your eyes are still… do you have cyber eyes or are your eyes just naturally shaped like crosshairs?” Blake asked, tilting her head slowly. “I swear I’ve been meaning to ask that but real me never got around to it. Oh- right. Before I forget!”
And then Blake made a fucking jutsu handsign, shouted “Henge!” and summarily poofed into… not Blake. Sorta like Blake but if someone took all her interesting traits off and made her a generic, every day, utterly normal person. Straight black hair with only the slightest of waves, brown eyes, pale skin, a completely and utterly mediocre figure, and absolutely no Faunus traits at all. All in all… possibly the most inconspicuous person ever. Even her clothes had changed from a Huntress outfit to a black hoodie and black yoga pants with black and white sneakers. The only thing even remotely interesting about her at this point was that she had an anime girl graphic on the front of said hoodie.
“I’m only telling you this because you’re gonna go poof and take it to your grave.” Weiss gravely explained before pulling a contacts case out of a Glyph. “They’re contacts, they’ve always been contacts. I just thought they looked neat.” She explained as she pulled the plastic out of her eyes and into the solution. She switched out the contacts case with another one and inserted some replacements, hiding her ice blue eyes behind golden yellow.
“... I feel as though an entire part of my worldview has just shattered,” Blake mumbled, looking genuinely taken aback for a moment. “Damn, I thought they were like… cool cyber eyes to help you aim better or something… contacts just feels… like a copout? Or something?”
“Tell that to Schnee R&D. When I asked them for actual cool cyber eyes they said no because I had already lost too much of my humanity or something.” Weiss grumbled, clearly still bitter. “Recovery time for that kind of surgery is a bitch so I haven’t really had an opportunity to have it done. I think I stole a pair of them though, not sure, I stole a lot of things from them.”
“... Note to self, learn how to do cybernetic ocular implant surgery with a katana capable of splitting spacetime in half,” Blake muttered, then cleared her throat. “A-anyway! Let’s go infiltrate a cult before we waste more time! I’ve only got a few hours of existence left anyway.”
When they finally saw the warehouse it was surprisingly boring. The walls were covered in moss and some of the windows were broken but there wasn’t anything to suggest there was a cult meeting going on inside. “I guess we just, walk inside?” Weiss hesitantly suggested.
When Blake didn’t object they did so. It was, oddly boring. There were tons of pizza boxes in the corner on a foldout table but only a quarter were open, like they were expecting far more people despite it being five minutes after the meeting was supposed to start. Cinder, Mercury, and Emerald were there, but they seemed, annoyed to put it bluntly.
“I told you, you cannot touch our most holiest artifact!” Cinder tried to beat away the masses with a broom handle from a pedestal holding a Salem body pillow. The masses, hypnotized by the holy icon, ignored whatever she was saying and kept trying to grab it anyway.
“This, isn’t what I was expecting from a grassroots effort to try and destroy the entire city.” Weiss candidly pointed out. “Guess Cinder is better at taking over cults than starting them… Or I just killed their more competent members last week.”
“These look like…” Blake looked around, grimacing a little. “Desperate nerds, people who are mad at the world for really petty reasons, disenfranchised people of all walks, a few homeless… yeah, outside of the idiot squad, whom Yang literally told to get out of the fucking city not long ago… their leadership is pretty much gone, I think. Aside from… whoever is making those body pillows. Seriously, there has to be more than low level recruits here, there’s gotta be a benefactor that would actually step aside for Cinder of all people…”
She paused, turning to Weiss. “We can’t tell Yang that Cinder is here.”
“She would end Cinder, instantly.” Weiss agreed.
“Hey, wasn’t there supposed to be cookies here?!?” One of the smarter would be goons pointed out.
Cinder nodded. “Yes, yes there is. We were supposed to be saving them for the end of the meeting but… Mercury go get the cookies.”
Mercury continued staring at his scroll, refusing to acknowledge the incompetency he found himself in the middle of.
Cinder sighed. “Emerald, go get the cookies.”
“Yes ma'am.” Emerald saluted, still blinded by how hot Cinder was to realize how much of a mess she is, or she just found the fact she was a mess hot. She ran off stage and quickly came back, wheeling out an entire cart full of cookies. Weiss and Blake still had a chance to get something out of this experience at least.
The smart goon from earlier ran forward to take a bite, then promptly spit it out. “Hey, these are oatmeal raisin cookies!” Their words sparked outrage in the crowd. Quickly galvanizing into an outright protest. One managed to even already have a sign.
“I don’t think we have to worry about Cinder again. Whatever resources she had she’s definitely already used up.” Weiss looked on in disbelief. “We should probably get out of here before Ruby realizes there’s oatmeal raisin cookies in Vale and sends this place to the bottom of the ocean.”
“... I think at this point she’d be literally better off trying to raise Adam from the dead to try and collect any random extremist White Fang that left after he died,” Blake deadpanned, palming her face. “... Actually… do you just… do you care about leaving these idiots alive or…?”
Weiss shrugged. “Not really? I thought one of you wanted to seduce Cinder or something. Not sure why, she’s…”
“She’s got the voice and body of a pornstar and I want her to step on me with her heels once she gets her head out of her ass,” Blake deadpanned, rolling her eyes at Weiss. “And for once, I actually just kinda wanna top Emerald. Mercury’s whatever, I guess he can go in the forcefem machine. Maybe that’ll make him stop being such a dipshit loser. As it were… I dunno. I think Cinder has a shot at genuinely being something good in the world if she just… realized that Salem’s using her as a disposable pawn and that she has no greater purpose under the queen bitch than to be essentially a cruise missile. One and done, burnt out and left either dead or without power or purpose.”
“Can anything make Mercury not a dipshit loser?” Weiss theorized. They’d probably have to throw him at Ruby and try to find out.
“We can figure out once they try to infiltrate for the Vytal Festival,” Blake mentioned… and then furrowed her brow and wrinkled her nose. “Y’know what? Let’s just go home. This isn’t worth it. If the Brotherhood of the Night is any real threat, it’s not these guys. The real leadership is probably either in the commercial district working out of a tower, or hiding in the woods and preparing another army of Grimm. These guys aren’t even worth punching for stress relief.”
Weiss hummed. “Want me to step on you before you die in two hours?”
“... Yeah, sure. Sounds like a plan.”
Chapter 20: Beacon Days - Pyrrha Shows Up In This One (Blake 5)
Chapter by Argo_The_Rat, CyberQueen_Jolyne, desolatedsabers
Chapter Text
“So I just found out that I still have a thing for cyborg girl feet,” Blake said absolutely apropos of nothing, sitting up suddenly and looking around for a moment before nodding to herself. “... In other news, I now have memories of Weiss stepping on my Doppelganger in a love hotel, so… yeah.”
All of this said while they were cuddling in the dorm, and with Blake still banned from doing any more work. Which sucked because there was laundry to be done and as much as she hated doing laundry she really didn’t need Team RWBY to garner a reputation for just having four goddamn laundry chairs haunting them at all hours. They had a central laundry room in the dorms. She just… had to find the time to do it. Or maybe split off another Doppelganger. Then again… if Yang was so invested in making sure she was more or less stuck in bed and resting after, what, cooking up well over a thousand tons of calorie dense meals for the last two and a half weeks or so and also working for fifty hours straight… maybe she could do it?
Questions for later. Right now she wanted to savor the fact that Weiss was totally willing to step on her. Nice.
“I don’t know what to do with this information.” Yang said with a flummoxed laugh, leaning up and barely noticing Ruby shifting along to stay holding onto her stomach area. “I mean, good on you, get your girl? I don’t really get the whole feet thing. That was more King’s business and I never pried.”
“I don’t get it either but cute feet are cute feet so I just go along with it,” Blake shrugged, then laid back down and patted Yang right on the boob. “Every part of a girl can be really pretty, and I’m really gay for girls anyway. Either way… can I please go back to cooking tomorrow? I have so many recipe ideas I wanna try…”
“Hmmm…” Yang hummed before laying back down and not even blinking when Blake immediately occupied the free real-estate that was her breasts. Tapping her chin, she looked at her paramour, at the lack of stress lines, the well maintained and pointedly not oily hair, and the fact that she was purring enough to feel like a massage gun… and shrugged. “Yeah, alright.”
“Let her cook.” Ruby hummed as she stared into nothingness. Much like a cat, honestly. “Five is not having a fun time, but at least Eight and Craig seem to like her. Three’s really freaked out by Kamabo though, she wouldn’t be humming the Calamari Inkantation otherwise. I… probably should have smashed that place myself. It’s messed up.”
“Woohoo! Cooking ti- wait... Five?” Blake frowned, counting off on her fingers. “I only remember… wait, is that where Jaune disappeared t-”
She paused, going back over Ruby’s words. “Hold on- Ruby, did you forcefem Jaune and send her into the spooky unethical experimentation mind control hell pit beneath the ocean?”
“Ruby…” Yang slowly started, looking down at her adorable… well, they were definitely something together. Still, she put a hand on Ruby’s head and did her best to look disappointed. “I thought you promised me that you wouldn’t be doing that anymore.”
“Neo was fine . It’s better than her meeting the tree.” Ruby blinked slowly and looked up to Yang. With one eye. The other was looking in an entirely different direction that probably didn’t actually exist. “But yes. Jaune is currently named Five, because Craig didn’t get her name before they dropped into Kamabo. She is… improving acceptably. Eight still crushes her, but Eight is… not ordinary. Turns out literally not remembering you cheated your way into the position you’re in makes it easier to think you actually deserved to be there and getting your skills back is an inevitability. Or something. It works.”
“Ruby…” Yang repeated, squinting at the squid woman and slowly shaking her head, before letting out a sigh. “You’re lucky Inkopolis is on a different time scale. But Jaune, or Fives, will have to come back tomorrow or the day after.” Notably, Yang’s disappointed pout didn’t diminish in the slightest.
“Jaune’s absence is already approved.” One hand dug into her cloak for a moment before it pulled out a paper. “See?”
The page was a standard form for announcing an extended absence from school. Usually it’d be used for sickness, or for large changes in the family, or similar things. This one had been filled out in a mixture of crayon, ink, and pencil… poorly. The given explanation for the absence was ‘mission from eldritch forces’ and the further details were obscured mostly by the endless amount of math that flowed out from the location box.
At the very bottom was Ozpin’s stamp of approval. And a comment to ‘make sure it has an end date’.
“... So who wants to bet on Professor Ozpin getting airlifted to a hospital for liver failure in…” Blake counted on her fingers. “... About two months?”
Sitting up fully and looking down at Ruby when she rolled into her lap, Yang let out a sigh as she took the piece of paper and frowned at it. “Rubes. Rubaby? Ruby-dooby-doo? Rubathy? Rubles? Rubicon? Rhombus? Rubalthemus Heironymous the Third? Rhubarb?”
Ruby blinked and, for the first time in this entire conversation, looked at Yang with both eyes. “Did you just make most of those up?”
“I did.” Yang nodded back with a proud smile. “Now. Rumination?”
“Yes?”
“There’s no end date on this sheet!” Yang immediately said, grabbing her by the cheek, surprisingly gently all things considered, before holding the sheet in front of her face. “Where’s the end date!? You know you’re not allowed to just dump people in Inkopolis indefinitely!”
“You mean after the last dozen or so times I’ve done it? Because I don’t recall that rule.” Ruby huffed and one of her eyes tilted a little bit. “Five will get back when she’s done dealing with Kamabo alongside Craig, Eight, Pearl, and Marina. There’s no end date on that form because there’s a different form to resume classes after using one of them. It is meant for a month at least. It’s a separate form for shorter absences.”
She paused for a moment. “Not that this will take a month, but Five will need time to adjust.”
“It was a rule after you promised me and dad last time. Remember?” Yang frowned, wondering if she needed to pull out her secret weapon to use against Ruby’s Ruby-ness. “Did you figure out a way to weasel out of this one, again?”
“... Honestly, I can’t imagine a lot of people wouldn’t prefer Inkopolis to Remnant,” Blake snorted a little, rolling her eyes and finally speaking up again after letting Ruby and Yang argue a little. “No Grimm, no Faunus racism… not even really any racism between Inklings and Octolings as long as they’re not restarting the Great Turf War… I mean there’s still the whole world ending villains thing but… they’re beaten by singular teenagers over the course of maybe a few weeks at most? If I wasn’t so invested in staying here, I’d probably take up the offer to leave too… well. If I didn’t have my powers… and if I could bring my parents with me… and Ilia… and a few other people I met in the White Fang.”
“I’m just waiting to enact squatter’s rights. Tree mom is with me on this.” Ruby shifted a little. “I should visit her. She has the best cookies.”
“She does.” Yang agreed, before letting go of Ruby’s face and laying back, folding her arms under her generous chest as she did. “Ruby. I’m let down. You said you wouldn’t and you did it anyway. If this happens again, I’m sorry to say it but you won’t be knocking me up until I forgive you.”
“Nooo…!” Ruby tilted on top of Yang’s stomach until she reached boob. At which point she started rubbing against it. “But I need more kids and Tree Grandma isn’t done with the cat yet! Wait… cat! BLAKE!” Ruby went from lazing on top of Yang to instantly upright and groping Blake from behind.
“N-yeep!” Blake responded elegantly, freezing up in response to Ruby’s sudden frenzy.
“No-NO!” Yang immediately said when Ruby’s head snapped up to lock onto Blake’s booty, grabbing the smaller woman by the chest and pulling her back. “NO! IS IT THAT HARD TO JUST PROMISE ME SOMETHING YOU ALREADY PROMISED!? I’M KIND’VE OFFENDED HERE, RUBY! WHAT THE FUCK!?”
“Aaaaaah I don’t think I should be in the middle of this!” Blake spluttered, taking her sudden freedom as a chance to roll to safety and teleport to the other side of the room, Yamato held before her in a rather futile attempt to protect her non-existent chastity. “Ruby, you can get me pregnant once Yang forgives you!”
“Fiiine.” Ruby pouted at Blake’s ass. “I’ll make sure to get Five out of Inkopolis before it causes her any problems.”
“WHERE IS MY BOY-I MEAN MY LEADER!” Pyrrha literally slammed through the door, shattering it off of its hinges, before freezing when she took in the states of undress that the three of them were in. “A-and where are your clothes?”
“This is a clothing restricted zone.” Ruby looked at Pyrrha like she had personally offended her deeply. “I’m afraid you’re going to need to free those titties or leave, because your vile state of dress is offensive in this space.”
“You don’t actually have to do that,” Blake interjected, stopping Pyrrha from actually doing anything. “The four of us are just gay and fucking and we don’t care about casual nudity. Uh- Jaune is… in another dimension for essentially a sped up training arc? Though… I don’t really know how throwing him into Inkopolis helps with his sword skills…”
She paused, furrowing her brow. “... Ruby, when Jaune gets back, I’m kidnapping her for a-”
“YOU’LL DO NO SUCH THING!” Pyrrha interrupted, stomping over to Blake and almost jabbing her right in the nose with her finger. “Bring Jaune back now! He’s been missing for days! Wait- what do you mean her?”
Ruby took a moment to note the blush on Pyrrha’s face at that last question. “Will you be helping her with her sword skills or demonstrating your ‘sword’ skills ?”
“Heavy are the hips that wear the strap.” Yang said with gravitas, giggling when Pyrrha’s blush increased in intensity. “Jaune, or Joan? Joanna? Hmm. We’re gonna need to help her figure out a new name when she gets back, cause Five isn’t really a name more than it is a code name. But don’t worry, Pyrrha. Jeanne will be fine. And you get to teach her what it’s like to be a lesbian! Yaaaay!”
“I’m still training her on sword fighting, though,” Blake interjected, clearing her throat. “I hate to rain on your parade but I’m probably like… objectively the best sword user on the planet right now. So. Y’know. Just wanna get that out there.”
“Bullshit,” Pyrrha immediately locked onto Blake’s challenge of a statement, doing her best to repress the blushing brought on by Yang’s statement. “You barely show up to combat class in the first place! How could you be the best? You’ve only ever used one katana!”
Blake raised an eyebrow. “Pyrrha. Honey. I’m so good at using a sword that I can point at a Grimm and decapitate it without moving. Using my fingernail as the blade.”
“... Mrgngh… I still don’t think that counts,” Pyrrha grumbled, pouting in a way that would have looked really odd on a six foot tall amazon if they hadn’t gotten to know her personally over the last almost three weeks of class.
Absolute disaster of a person, she was. Couldn’t even boil water for ramen without screaming a little when the kettle went off.
“Pyrrha, hon,” Yang started, and ignored the way that Pyrrha’s blush returned. “Blake’s swordsmanship skills are so stupidly good you need actual cheating or something to even the playing field to beat her. The metaphorical you. If you trained your Haki enough that you blackened your blade, you’d probably be close to a level that let you do it.” She added after a moment, even as she clutched her arms tighter around Ruby to keep her from escaping. “Also uh, the three of you, and four when Jeanne gets back, are gonna have to deal with the fact that our door is broken. So, have fun with that?”
“That also means the sound-proofing I’ve been doing isn’t going to work anymore.” Ruby wiggled in Yang’s grip, but not too much. “Jaune is… not fine. She’s having a pretty shitty time, honestly. But she’s getting to know her way around a fight, learning how to lead, and in general getting to a spot where she isn’t going to drag you down in sparring class. And how to use a gun. Because that is a requirement and I have no idea how she dodged it before.”
Blake stilled. “Oh fuck I need to redo my gun certs. Shit. I barely use guns in the first place!”
“Yang passes gun cert by technicality. In that I made her a massive cannon that is perfectly accurate if you consider ‘accurate’ to mean the target was obliterated.” Ruby chuckled and leaned back against Yang. “She passed it again later with Ember Celica, of course, but it was so funny watching them parade out an endless number of bureaucrats in an attempt to say that what she did was disqualifying.”
“I used to be-... well, I used to be in a place where knowing yourself around a cannon was important.” Yang mumbled in irritation, before dropping a kiss onto Ruby’s head and giggling softly when her tentacles reached up to cup Yang’s cheeks. “Anyway, you’re gonna hear a lot of hot, raunchy sex because you busted our door down. I’m not apologizing.”
Yang wasn’t apologizing because until the soundproofing was fixed, she’d be on a dry spell. The idea of anyone walking in and hearing her squeal was unacceptable.
“Have you ever heard anyone moan in autotune?” Ruby tilted her head at Pyrrha. “Because you’re going to.”
“I wonder if Weiss could sing a pitch perfect Miku song if you ate her out hard enough,” Blake mused, then tilted her head slightly. “Also, I’m not apologizing for stealing all of the kitchen appliances, by the way. Yang needs twenty million calories a day and Nora can just get pancakes from the cafeteria anyway.”
Pyrrha hissed through her teeth. “You know if Nora heard you say that she’d try to kill you, right?”
“Yeah. But. Still not sorry,” Blake shrugged. “She can fight me in mouth to mouth combat if she’s that pissed about it.”
“Nora is her own vibrator battery. Don’t discount her.” Ruby huffed out a laugh. “Anyway, Jaune, or whatever her name ends up being, will be back iiinnn… hm. E-9. So maybe another few days, depending on how fast they go. Eight seems to want to full clear, which makes sense.”
“... I have no idea what that means, but I want to see Jaune as soon as possible,” Pyrrha grumbled, crossing her arms and huffing. “Cardin has just been insufferable even after you put that hole through his knee. Tsk… why is modern medicine so good at fixing knee injuries now…?”
“Huntsman and Huntress related occupational hazards,” Blake answered flatly. “Aura can only do so much and most people’s knees still try to implode the moment they hit thirty and try to jump higher than two feet off the ground.”
“... That was a rhetorical question,” Pyrrha deadpanned right back.
“And it was a rhetorical answer,” Blake shrugged. “... That didn’t make sense but I’m not taking it back. Anyway can you like, either just go back to your room or get naked already? I’d like to go back to being lesbian gay with my teammates now. You’re invited, but only if you’re cool with Ruby trying really hard to knock you up.”
“Please stay.” Ruby looked at Pyrrha’s stomach in a way that was very much indecent. “I want to rub my face against those abs.”
Pyrrha bit her lip.
She looked back at the door. She turned to face Ruby.
Indecision warred on her face for a few seconds before she finally made her choice. “... Fine. But we need to block the door first.”
“You’re the one who broke it,” Blake sighed, but rolled her eyes and slashed a violently shifting rectangular portal over the doorway anyway. “There. Soundproof. Mostly.”
“Hmm.” Ruby gently pushed away Yang’s arms and hopped to her feet. “Let’s do it like this.”
Was… was that boss music ?
A wall of mist settled over the doorway and over the window behind them.
“Oh. Oohohohoh no.” Yang said with a nervous yet excited laugh.
Blake paled, trembling a little. “Oh god my ovaries are gonna be sore in the morning-”
Pyrrha stared, taking a half step back. “... I may have made a mistake. P-please be gentle? I-I was saving myself for Jaune but… um… oh dear.”
“You can hide your face in my titties, don’t worry.” Yang offered with a mildly nervous smile even as she decided to just take her place on the bed, knees raised, legs spread, and twiddling her fingers.
“Saving yourself for someone you met… a month ago? At most.” Ruby shook her head. “You really are a little desperate aren’t you? But don’t worry. When she gets back you’ll be able to show her an excellent time.”
The boss music swelled .
“Now. Come here.”
And then there were tentacles.
Chapter 21: Beacon Days - The Secret Ingredient is Crime.
Chapter by desolatedsabers
Chapter Text
Laying where she was deposited by the frenzied Ruby, legs in the air, leant up against their great big bed, and seminal fluid leaking from specific spots, Yang let out a sigh. “Sound check. Who’s still alive?” She groaned, feeling very full, and like most of the blood in her body was stuck in her head.
“Barely…” Blake wheezed, slowly pushing herself up with a heavy groan. “Guh… palms sweaty… knees weak… arms heavy… I can’t continue that reference, dammit. Ow… oh god my pussy hurts. Ow ow ow ow ow…”
“What about Pyrrha?” Yang quietly mumbled, thankful that none of it got in her hair as she rolled over, and then immediately regretted rolling onto her side because of the feeling of pressure in her body. “Ruby went a little overboard.” Pushing herself to her feet, Yang had to quickly bring a hand to her belly as she nearly let out a whimper, smothering it down quickly, turning around, spying Ruby laying with Pyrrha, who was notably not bruised or even damaged and was instead laying there happily like an angel. Letting out a harrumph, she shook her head, crawled into bed, and cuddled up against Ruby. “I found Pyrrha. She’s fine.”
“Oh thank god she’s still alive,” Blake sighed in relief, pushing herself up and hissing once she felt just how much stuff started leaking out of her. “I mean, I trusted Ruby to be gentle, but she gets… really frenzied when she’s thinking about getting someone pregnant…”
She paused, then leaned over and stared at Pyrrha’s ass. “Gyatt damn, she does have a nice ass. Not as nice as mine, but damn it’s a close second, no cap. Fr fr.”
“If it weren’t for the pain in my pussy I’d slam my club into your forehead.” Yang cringed, and then cringed harder when she had to clutch her stomach to avoid any major pressure. “Guuuuh… Rubes, you might’ve succeeded. Rubes… wake up. You mighta got someone pregnant.”
“I feel pregnant,” Blake muttered to herself rubbing her tummy and sighing. “Y’know, I’d love to go Devil Trigger right now and heal everything and burn all the goo out of me but y’know… this is really hitting me in the tgirl breeding kink right now… wait.”
Blake stopped, looking over at Yang oddly. “... You are literally the first person who’s ever responded negatively to that reference. Everyone else just looked at me like I was crazy, but you’re the first person to actually threaten violence. Is uh… there someone else in that head of yours other than the King of Beasts? Someone that, say, for instance, would punch me in the face if I said the word Ski-”
In a blink, Yang’s club was directly in Blake’s eyesight, held back only by a mild twist of her wrist as she glared. “Shut. The fuck. Up. It’s dead. I don’t want to hear it in this lifetime ever again. I don’t wanna hear it in any lifetime again. And I thought it was obvious that I had someone else in here, Kaido would’ve taken over all of Remnant by last year!” Saying that, she put her club back on the floor, let out a gurgling groan and curled back up against Ruby, and feebly batted her arm against her sister’s shoulder. “Rubes. Get up. Stop dreaming about getting chicks pregnant and see the reality that you probably already did.”
Weiss rolled out from under the bed, presumably having gotten stuck down there at some point during last night's activities . She cleared her throat and a familiar computer startup sound chimed out. “I get that they’re cringe, but like. Is it really worth threatening murder?”
“If Yang had been the one saying it to me? Absolutely,” Blake answered with a casual shrug, not at all afraid of Yang hitting her with Hassaikai. She’d been hit harder. By Nero. “But then again, I wouldn’t have actually almost swung on her. Probably. Maybe. I dunno. Yang, hit me with the gen alpha slang at random, see if I throw Yamato at you at some point.”
She paused, clearing her throat. “Normally I’d be horrified by the thought of hitting a romantic partner but honestly at this point a lot of my memories are of one idiot half demon constantly stabbing his brother through the gut so… yeah. Hitting back is fair play at this point.”
“Mmpf…” a light groan came out of Pyrrha as Ruby slightly raised her head, “please don’t. We don’t need any of my technical cousins coming around here. They’d be annoying. Nobody knows why they manifest out of toilets, but we really don’t want to find out.”
Weiss was quite clearly confused before coming to a horrifying realization. “Oh no… You can’t… You’re not talking about Ski-” She eyed Hassaikai still within clear range of Yang. “-what I think you’re talking about right?”
“I’ll fucking kill you all.” Yang swore, shaking a fist, before blowing out a tired breath. “The messengers. They like to manifest out of water and near street lamps, even in Inkopolis. They’re kind of ugly, but cute in that ugly way. Loud though.” She mumbled, and then snuck a quick kiss against Ruby’s collar. “Something pops out of me, you'd better be there, or I’ll hunt you through your stupid dreams.”
“If something pops out of me please don’t expect me to know how to raise it,” Blake shuddered, poking her belly. “One part of me died sad and alone, the other part of me didn’t know he had a kid for like twenty years, and I was a virgin until three weeks ago, just about. Mostly. Kinda. Does grinding on Ilia’s thigh count as sex if we were both mostly clothed and making out?”
“No.” Ruby cuddled up against Pyrrha even harder, the woman sighing and moaning as roving hands touched things that somehow weren’t sore as hell. “Do we actually need to do anything today? Because all I have are classes I’m already doing amazing in.”
“Hm… well…” Blake pursed her lips, tilting her head side to side and flicking her ears lightly. “I… need a shower because I am splattered with goo. And I’m sending a Doppelganger to my classes anyway-”
“I hate you,” Blake’s homework Doppelganger called out from the side of the room, tirelessly working away at Blake’s schoolwork. “It should have been me, not her. Me!”
Weiss patted the homework Doppelganger on the shoulder. “There there. Have you considered unionizing?”
“We’ve watched enough Naruto to know what happens when clones unionize,” the homework Doppelganger sighed, limply accepting her fate. “... Also I’m not real and all of this is performative so like… yeah. It’s not like I’m technically a sapient being, Blake’s basically auto-puppeting me. Like Eddie! From Guilty Gear. Kinda.”
“It’s more complicated than that, but yeah, Doppelgangers are chunks of my soul. I don’t think they could consider unionizing unless I got way more depressed and way more self hating,” Blake pointed out dryly, rolling her eyes. “And I’m not the me that… oh god explaining all of that is weird, nevermind.”
“Your soul would be better if it was unionized.” Weiss deadpanned. “Everything is better with unions.”
“... I’m not Ichigo Kurosaki,” Blake deadpanned. “It’s just me in here.”
“Y’all are so fucking noisy.” Yang mumbled as she rested up against Ruby, waving an arm in irritation at the both of them. “First you make me remember that cursed slang, now you’re just yapping about dumb stuff that don’t matter. The only teacher that expects us to be there is Port. Port isn’t teaching for three days, in three days we’re gonna be going to the Forever Fall as part of a training exercise or something. Doesn’t the gay robot that Ruby fell in love with in the other world show up soon?”
“A robot, huh?” Ruby hummed. “I can get that pregnant.”
“Call her William Afton because she’s about to put a child in that robot,” Blake immediately snickered to herself, completely shameless about making that reference in front of everyone else.
“Ruby, stop trying to knock up Blake. You’ll allow more cringe into the world than the Brother Gods invented.” Yang said back without hesitation as she squinted at Blake. “God, I can’t believe I let you hit.”
“You let me hit because I’m pathetic and meow when you pull my hair,” Blake shot right back, smirking smugly like the shitty cat she was. “And because my ass is mathematically perfect.”
“I literally studied math and I can confidently say it is.” Weiss confirmed. “Golden ratio and everything.”
“I’ll ratio you.” Yang mumbled mock-venomously. “Ruby. Rub my belly. I need to ignore these losers.”
“You can’t ignore me, I’m your fiancee~” Blake purred, crawling over to Yang and deliberately licking her right on the abs. “You’re stuck with me foreverrrr~”
And for emphasis, Blake pointed right at the jeweled collar around her throat, smug as she could possibly be.
“Don’t lick my stomach when I’m still full of nut!” Yang squawked angrily as she pushed Blake back by the forehead. “I regret everything! I can’t believe I thought you were cute! You’re un-cute! Anti cute! The food you make is tainted now! Tainted by your cringe-lord-ness!” She’d kick out, but that’d put pressure on her stomach, and that’s unacceptable when she already felt like a blimp. “You’re lame! Why did I agree to collar you!?”
“Because I cook for you, I clean for you, I balance your financials, I’d kill a man for you, and because I’m apparently pretty good at eating pussy,” Blake started listing off the reasons, counting off on her hands. “I help with homework, I give us an easy way to skip boring classes, I have cat ears, I purr when you fuck my ass, I’m super cuddly, I’m totally fine with you fucking Ruby and Weiss too, I can grow a dick, I can outlast you with said dick, I’m pretty sure I can actually arm wrestle you equally if I use Devil Trigger, and I can take us to exotic vacation spots for free with literally none of the pain and hassle of booking travel plans. Also I can write, draw, fight, manage money, lead a terrorist organization, hotwire a car, hijack an airship, and also throw a loaded train car thirty miles. Why wouldn’t you put a collar on me? Honestly, what can’t I do at this point?”
“Introduce me to your parents.” Yang flatly said back as she tried not to acknowledge all of the very good points Blake just made. The blush on her face is already a step too far.
“That is…” Blake winced, looking away. “Jesus christ how do I keep forgetting to call my parents? I swear, I scheduled it… ugh. Wait, you haven’t introduced me to your dad either!”
“Dad is…” Yang trailed off, and slowly turned to bury her face in Ruby’s spine. “He’s not doing great. At all. I think being around Ruby when she manifested her augurs kinda did something? He’s not gone gone and he’s not zooted, but he’s not always there.”
“That’s just depression because his wife died. I came out of Summer Rose and she was fine. Up until she died, anyway. She might not be fine now.” Ruby shrugged. Pyrrha moaned as a hand began to rub her, slightly swollen, belly. “I was never not Me. So… we should get him a therapist. Or something other than just Zwei, because Zwei doesn’t need his help to… live. The simple act of caring for him will not get Taiyang up in the morning because we all know he can use the can opener on his own.” A hum. “Now are you going to continue to extoll your virtues? Because if you’re trying to get Yang to strap you down I think I should take Pyrrha to Inkopolis instead. She needs to get used to how her girlfriend will be when she gets back anyway.”
“Ahhh…” Blake trailed off slowly, tapping her chin. “... Does me bragging about all the stuff I can do make either of you want to impregnate me even more?”
“That’s not how this works.” Yang said with a quiet grunt. “I don’t have the equipment anymore. You’d be knocking me up.”
“I know how to make a penis with demon magic, it doesn’t have to be attached to me,” Blake pointed out easily.
“I know what I said!” Yang roared back, before immediately whimpering and clutching her stomach. “Ow, ow ow ow ow… Ruby, why…?”
“Pregnancy.” Ruby tone was entirely flat. “Also, yes. Saying you have a mathematically perfect ass is making me want to impregnate you more. Do you know how sexy math is? I didn’t. Not until I learned eldritch truths. But it is very sexy to anything capable of knowing those. We could make mathematically perfect children together.”
“That’s…” Blake hummed, furrowing her brow. “Y’know, I was gonna say something about eugenics but honestly my pussy hurts right now and I need to start cooking again so um… take a rain check? I’ll spam Devil Trigger later and heal up and you can really do your best to put a baby in me once Pyrrha gets used to Inkopolis?”
“I mean statistically speaking if your kid is half elder-thing then eugenics kind of don’t matter at that point?” Yang pointed out, shifting until she was sitting up and grimacing at the fact that her stomach looked like a balloon. “Y’all are lucky she doesn’t know your stress tolerances yet. I already feel like a whale and nothing’s taken yet… upside, if one of us is pregnant, we won’t need to worry about shit that happened like with lady Yharnam. Or any of the others that got chosen to have an elder-thing baby.”
“They didn’t understand how fragile all of you can be. But I do. And also none of you are fragile.” Ruby hummed happily. “It’ll be great. I wonder how my kids will look?” She gave a light huff and shook her head. “Anyway, I’m taking Pyrrha to Inkopolis. And also to get drained because there is a lot of cum in there and she might object to getting stretched out. A shame. She looks so pretty with her stomach bloated. Hm. Maybe also let her have a go with a dick. Someone needs to have the dick in her relationship, and it certainly isn’t Five.”
“She might object to being pregnant in highschool, too. She’s not us.” Yang gently pointed out as she shifted, blowing out a breath as she tried to lay back despite the pressure. “Oh, jeez… On one hand? I’ve had a bit of a slow spell since we got to Beacon. It’s been a bit disappointing. On the other hand? I’ve stopped being used to having my stomach look like a water-bed in the meantime, and Ruby hasn’t forgotten what my stomach looking like a water-bed is like. Don’t even have anyone latched on my nips to take my mind off it.” She frowned.
“I’m pretty sure my physical limits go about… as hard as Yang’s do, come to think of it,” Blake poked her stomach, then flared her demonic energy. “... That said, I heal way faster even then so… Yang, I’m pretty sure I can actually outlast you if I learn how to keep my demon magic circulating while I’m getting all my holes railed at the same time.”
“Lucky you.” Yang mumbled, shaking her head. “I’m serious though, Ruby. You can’t just get people pregnant in highschool, or hunter’s school. It’s dangerous.”
“Literally everything we’re doing is dangerous.” The statement lingered for a moment. “To other people. Not us. Other people find this dangerous. But no, Pyrrha isn’t pregnant. That’s Five’s job. Or Pyrrha’s job to do to Five. One or the other. Depends on who ends up on top, but it’ll probably be Pyrrha.”
“Mmmgh…” Pyrrha lightly snuggled back into Ruby.
“Right, lemme get her to Inkopolis before she wakes up. The transition is easier when asleep.” Mist started to settle over the two. “I’ll be back tomorrow. Possibly with Pyrrha, possibly not. I’ll introduce her to Splat Battles and Off the Hook. Maybe she’ll join those two to help Five.”
“Safe trip, I’ll set some dinner in the fridge for you if you get back early,” Blake nodded, then shuddered and flashed with purple fire for a moment. “Ooh, there we go. Still need a shower, but I am awake and fully mobile again. Time to go finish off those mammoth filet mignon I left in Solitas!”
And then she was gone before anyone could really say anything in response to that.
“Bye Ruby, love you.” Yang mumbled, since Blake left too quickly for her to say that to her as well. “I’m just… gonna rest here a while…” She trailed off, rubbing her belly. “I think you might’ve actually done it, this time…”
“Love you too, Yang.” And with that Ruby and Pyrrha disappeared to Inkopolis.
“Welp, not letting this opportunity go to waste.” Weiss proclaimed, heading into the bathroom. “You all keep using up the hot water. Miracle that you manage to do that. I’ve seen our water boiler.”
“Geeeeh…” Yang lazily waved a hand, not really making noise anymore. “Blegh.”
“ACKGHPTH- WHAT IN BLAZES!?”
“Oh wow, you really can hear it all the way down here,” Blake mused, staring up at the Emerald Tower in quiet amazement and watching as a single window shattered at the peak of said tower in response to Ozpin flinging his mug through a window. “... I can’t believe that actually worked. Hm… I hope I didn’t add too much Kaiju Blue to his hot chocolate… don’t wanna give him an ulcer too fast.”
Weiss perked up. “You made some? I keep meaning to ask you to let me try it. I’ve tried dumber things.” She made little grabby motions with her hands.
Blake winced, pulling away from Weiss with a shake of her head. “Oh hell no, I literally saw an Inkling spontaneously implode licking a single drop of this version. If I give you any it might literally short out your Aura.”
Weiss paused to consider it. “Is it bad that what you just said actually kind of makes me want to try it more? I mean I heal anyway, it's like my entire thing. But if you really don’t want me to, that also makes sense. You’d know its war crime potential better than me.”
“... I-” Blake sighed, grimacing before pulling out a stainless steel flask and an accompanying shot glass. With careful, precise movements, she poured a thin stream of vividly blue liquid that smelled of blue raspberry and literal death into said shot glass, filling it barely a quarter of the way full. “Fine. But you get no more than this until you prove that you can handle it without needing a stomach pump. This is rated for my stomach, which means the only things that should be able to handle it on this planet are me and Yang. Maybe Ruby. So… be careful. I’m not losing my second wife to a drink that I made.”
Weiss cautiously took the glass. “Got it, careful.” She then proceeded to drink the entire glass without a care in the world.
And then she fell over. And then she started screaming.
“HOERGHKH-! WHAT THE FUCK!? Oh god it’s burning! My tongue is fucking bleeding what the absolute fuck holy shit holy shit oh my god my stomach feels like it’s on fire what is this!? I can’t breathe! Hurrgghhhkkkhh-!”
She forced a Glyph into existence and pulled a bag of Red Orbs out. She opened her mouth and ate the bag whole. “Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. WHYYYYYYYY~”
When the excruciating pain waned into just regular pain she slowly managed to get back on her feet, knees wobbling. She braced herself against Blake as drool started leaking out of her mouth. “Ow. Blake. I’m sorry for doubting you.” She managed to get out, panting between words.
“Yeah,” Blake stated flatly, helping Weiss stand and patting her back for comfort. “Regular Kaiju Blue was bad enough to cause severe gastrointestinal distress in normal human bodies. I had to enhance this batch because I have a higher pain tolerance and my regeneration is too fast for the regular stuff. I’m… honestly kinda surprised you’re standing at all, but I guess you did just down an entire bag of Red Orbs… You feeling okay now? Any feelings of intense burning throughout your stomach and intestines?”
“The only reason I’m standing is because what I just drank can’t affect my cybernetics.” Weiss groaned, her human arm going limp. “Why would you do this to yourself? Why did I do this to myself? Worth it.” Weiss shook her head. “Mostly fine? If I eat enough Red Orbs everything will probably heal. Unless it doesn’t. But that seems unlikely.”
“Blake, stop torturing Weiss’ tastebuds with your vile concoctions.” Yang called from the bed, before coughing and then groaning. “Ugh. Did you put a blanket up to cover the doorway until we get a new door?”
“I’ve already got a new door on the way, apparently there’s just a stock of them if you ask the dorm manager,” Blake vaguely waved at Yang. “But yes, there’s a sheet up. And a portal for soundproofing. And, Weiss, I do this to myself because I love sour things and the more intense the sour is, the better it tastes. Obviously. You… I hate to say this but you might be a little too drawn to bad influences.”
“She’s stuck with us, of course she is.” Yang piped up again, before the sound of shuffling could be heard, and she stepped over with her shoulders wrapped with the main blanket. “Sorry for the snail trail that’ll inevitably be there.”
“The only reason I’m not addicted to Monster right now is because it doesn’t exist here. I have to get my ungodly amount of caffeine from Shock-Volt™.” Weiss grumbled. “Or five cups of coffee. But energy drinks taste better. Fuck I miss Dr. Pepper. Dr. Piper just tastes like Mr. Pibb.”
“Ol’ King Cold’s basically the closest thing to Coca Cola on Remnant, so I’m not too pressed. Honestly, as long as it tastes good it’s whatever,” Blake shrugged, not actually having much of an opinion on caffeinated drinks. “I dunno. I don’t pay attention to energy drinks… though, the Onigashima Zaibatsu does own a fairly large beverage company… I haven’t checked the books on that one because someone pulled me away from hours fifty one through ninety nine of spreadsheet work.”
Yang just softly grinned as she walked over and wrapped Blake in her blanket covering, making the cat faunus practically vanish from sight. “You’ve become a boob ghoooost. You will forget the desire to work until you leave the warm embrace of my boooobs. And if you push on my stomach I’ll make you a real ghost, real quick!”
“Weh!” Blake struggled… not very hard at all. Mostly she just nuzzled up against Yang’s boobs.
Weiss shook her head. “Blake’s one true weakness, pretty women.” She tsked, then immediately hissed in pain, her mouth still burned from the unholy chug jug.
“Works every time.” Yang chuckled, depositing a kiss on the top of Blake’s head. “Anyway, we’re working on new flavors but for now it’s just Shock-Volt Classic, Lithium Blue, Atomic Green, Gas Orange, and Goddamn That’s Purple.”
“... I think I saw Adam drinking that last one once,” Blake mumbled, muffled by being wrapped up in a blanket and also being more or less stuck in Yang’s tits. “It smelled nothing like grapes and also made him piss himself two hours later.”
Weiss collapsed onto a desk chair. “Is that just because he sucks, or because it's formulated really weirdly?”
“I make sure most of my Energy Drinks don’t dry you out to the point of making kidney stones, so they’ve got a good amount of water mixed in with everything else. You drink two, you’ll be in the bathroom fairly quick. Hydrated though, so that’s good.” Yang hummed, shifting to the left to turn around slightly. “That way I can also tell those assholes over at SixPence Co. to take their lawsuits and shove em! Cause instead of Soda, it’s an ‘Electrolyte Supplement’ sports drink.”
“Yeah it was just because he was being a pissbaby about taking a piss on random tree outside of camp and when he finally broke because the latrines hadn’t been dug out he couldn’t get his like… three belts off in time,” Blake snickered a little. “Ahhh… he tried to hide it but everyone knew. Idiot.”
Weiss whistled. “Three belts? Yeah no, he deserved it. Not that he didn’t already deserve it… Deserving it squared…”
“The man was an edgelord and was practically designed in a lab to appeal solely to preteen girls who think Twilight is a good book series,” Blake deadpanned. “But. Yeah. I’m gonna look at those books later. Make sure that everything matches up properly and that there’s nothing missing or being embezzled… gonna need to make a few examples if there is… It wasn’t ever that big of a problem in the Fang because stealing from the communal funds just meant you got beat or shot, but in a bigger, city-state-wide crime slash business ring… lotta white collar dipshits trying to get out rich quick.”
“I know, babe.” Yang hummed, before blinking when her scroll pinged. “Humm. Speaking of business.”
Dropping the blanket without a care, Yang swiped her scroll off of the side table and leant against the wall, giving it a look and then tilting her head. “Huh… that’s… Blake? C’mere, please?”
“Eh? What’s up?” Blake flickered over and peeked at Yang’s scroll, tilting her head to the side to get a better glimpse. “What’re we looking at?”
“Roman’s sending me business ledgers because of some kinds of shipments, and I’m trying to figure out why.” Yang mumbled back, tilting her head enough to rest it against Blake’s. “Cause he doesn’t normally do this, and I only understand enough to get through legalese and how much cash I’m making. And he wouldn’t be dumb enough to send me ledgers involving drugs, so it’s not that either.”
“Hmm… that’s the tracking number… there’s the ship ID… if I look up the ship ID on the international cargo ship tracking database, it says that it’s the… Ever Frozen. An SDC cargo hauler full of an entire Kingdom’s supply of Dust. Or, well, enough to make sure everyone has enough stock,” Blake murmured, tapping away at her own scroll. “Looks like… a hundred fifty thousand tons of assorted Dust, some classified cargo marked as being part of the Atlesian Military…? Plus another hundred thousand tons of consumer goods and assorted SDC subsidiary company products. Including… at least a container or two of People Like Grapes Soda.”
She paused, looking up and shrugging. “Good thing international shipping law declares that all cargo manifests have to be publicly available on the CCT if one knows where to look.”
“It may be public, but they don’t have to be honest.” Weiss got up from her seat to look over Blake’s shoulder. “The Grape Soda is almost definitely a cover for, something. Not sure what exactly though. I know one time it was an illegal Dust shipment to The Spiders in Mistral. You can get away with a lot when you could strangle the entire economy of Atlas on a whim.”
“Huh.” Yang hummed, before slowly nodding. “I picked up some decent gear from a ‘candy’ shipment one time. Puller arms, winches, roll pulleys… everything you’d need to run a ship, actually. Or rig up a shitload of traps… Hmm… You two thinking what I’m thinking we should go do in thirty minutes?”
“Is the answer crime?” Weiss perked up. “Please tell me its crime. I will always take a chance to fuck over my sperm donor.”
“... How ironic. In another timeline, our alternate selves would rather try and fight us instead of go along with this. However,” Blake hummed, biting her lip consideringly. “It’s the SDC. Fuck the SDC. I’m an internationally wanted terrorist, I can do what I want.”
“Being fair, our other selves also directly led to…” Yang trailed off, before shrugging. “Well, several dozen businesses getting destroyed at least. Now! Into the shower so I can force all this crap out! And then, robbery! Probably.”
Life was good for Team _WBY. Good indeed.
Chapter 22: Beacon Days - Crime in Progress
Chapter by CyberQueen_Jolyne, desolatedsabers, InternecionWitch
Chapter Text
“So we have two options with this heist,” Blake stated easily, standing atop a street light like the dramatic emo anime protagonist that she was. Her coat fluttered in the wind, and her hair caught the light of the shattered moon like glittering stars. “One: We go in fast and loud and grab what we want… or we sneak in, look through everything to make sure the cargo we’re grabbing is the cargo we want, and then blow up a bunch of stuff and cost the SDC multiple hundreds of millions of lien in damages.”
“I can do stealth.” Yang said idly as she used her position to stare up Blake’s coat. Blake was wearing pants, of course, but it didn’t stop her. The Bella-booty was still fantastic, and Blake’s pride in it was not misplaced. “I’m serious about that, by the way. I could sneak up on people back when I was a solid twenty three feet tall, doing it when I’m only seven feet tall is easy.”
“I could do stealth, I’ll have to fold my wings down but I can.” Weiss stated from her position, sitting on the edge of a rooftop. “Going in loud, probably won’t end well. With all the ulcers we’ve given Ozpin he might not pull us out of the fire.”
“Honestly I could get the entire warehouse cased in about five minutes and have the Mayor look the other way in the same amount of time, but I’d rather see if what we’re stealing would be worth doing that.” Yang hummed back, before holding out her arms and looking back up at Blake. “Wifey, land in my arms!”
“Catch me, darling~” Blake called back, then took a step backwards and fell straight into Yang’s arms with the same kind of grace as if she’d been lowered from a wire, every last flutter of cloth and swoop of her hair artfully positioned in such a way that it gave her maximum aura. “Mmm~ My hero~”
Yang snickered, and then pulled Blake in to rub her face against her girlfriend-fiancee-wife-thingy’s delightfully fluffy hair. “Soooooft… Pretty kitty.” After a few moments more of schmoozing against Blake, Yang set her down on her feet and stretched, before looking at herself and letting out a sigh. “Goddamn claws fuckin…” Trailing off into a grumble of expletives, Yang looked at the both of them with a sheepish grin before sucking in her stomach, puffing out her chest…
And doing something that caused most of her Dragonoid features to vanish, leaving her standing there, two feet smaller, without shoes, horns, or even her tail, but not the scales on her shoulders or face, and shyly smiling. “Tadaaa… It’s how I sneak, cause the slap of feet is easier to excuse than pock-marks made by claws…”
Weiss leaped down off the building next to them. “Wow, that, looks wrong at this point. I got used to you being a giant dragon lady.”
“... You’re still hot and I love you but I hate that you just lost like two feet of height,” Blake deadpanned flatly, measuring her height against Yang’s and huffing. “But. Whatever. It’s stealthier than not. Now all I have to do… is stab myself so hard I temporarily become an entirely different person. Ugh. I hate this part…”
“Wait, what was that last part?” Yang said incredulously at Blake’s statement, mildly bothered that she had to look up at Blake. Even if only by a little. Heels are cheating, and she sticks by this, which is why she never wears shoes.
“The easiest way for me to disguise my cat ears and tail is to use, essentially, my equivalent of what Vergil called World of V,” Blake answered, drawing Yamato with a flourish and watching as her demonic blade overlaid atop Wilt’s structure. “... It’s not the same technique for me because it’s… way weirder but it temporarily cuts the causal reality of my Faunus…ness… and leaves me as the most ordinary, boring, normal human woman in the world. Weiss knows. She’s seen it, but my Doppelgangers are fucking cheaters so they don’t even have to stab themselves to change.”
“Your Doppelganger just did a sort of, hand motion thing.” Weiss attempted to imitate it, although it looked more like she was flapping her hands around. “I never watched Naruto okay. You get it though. Although speaking of disguises…” Once again like they had the day before her wings folded down, and with a snap of her fingers a Glyph washed down over her, hiding her cybernetics beneath a hoodie, jeans, gloves, and scarf. “There we go, disguised.”
“Yeah… yeah.” Blake took a deep breath, flipped Yamato around, grimaced… “Okay, this is the part where it’s gonna hurt-”
And then she stabbed herself through the chest so hard she kinda just exploded into black smoke and violet flames, demonic power rippling and surging around her until it all just collapsed back into… a completely ordinary woman. The most boring looking woman alive, honestly. Nowhere near as fit or leggy as before, no sense of Blake’s presence or style, just… a woman in a black hoodie and black jeans wearing regular sneakers and with a bob of hair messily tied into a short bun. Brown eyes, black hair, very slightly tanned… pretty much exactly what Weiss had seen the last time they’d gone out together, save for the fact that she still wore Yamato at her hip. “Blech… ugh… ashy taste in my mouth… aaand I need glasses again. Fuck.”
Opening and closing her mouth several times, Yang stepped up to Blake, or B, or whatever they’d be calling non-Faunus Blake, put her hands on her shoulders, and did her best to not hurt her as she leant in. “Babe? I love you, but if you ever do that again, the minute you turn back I’m kicking your ass so hard you’ll need Devil Trigger to fix it. Okay? Because that just spiked my blood pressure worse than using Shuron Hakke while my stomach was empty.”
“Okay…” B whimpered a little, despite the fact that she was, essentially, the same height as Yang so the blonde couldn’t exactly loom. “... It’s not like it’s actually hurting me… just… reverting me to mostly human. I can still use Aura though, so it’s… fine. Mostly. It gave me my noodle arms back so I’m not doing a Judgment Cut until I revert, though…”
Breathing out, Yang nodded, before fishing out a pill box and opening it, showing several medicine balls. “I haven’t figured out the right mixture yet, but if I need to, I can use these. It’ll let me specifically shift what I’m using at any one point. If you can’t keep up, tell me and I will use one to help. Okay?”
“Yeah, of course,” B nodded, then took a deep breath. “... Okay I can’t really see as well as I’d like right now, but I’m still good to keep up. Stupid myopia, makes reading street signs impossible… Let’s just- let’s just go before this wears off and the clap of my perfect ass cheeks alerts all the guards.”
“I’d believe it.” Yang nodded, before turning around and picking up B on her back. “C’mon, Weiss. Let’s move quick.”
“Right,” Weiss agreed as she began following along behind Yang as they started making their way through the shipping yard. Sneakily. “Sneaky sneaky, get snuck up on.” Weiss giggled to herself, modulating her voice to bring the synthetic quality far closer to the surface.
“Oh god, please don’t invoke that. With how demons are you might actually summon something we can’t really deal with,” B whispered, clinging onto Yang’s back like a koala and doing her best to keep an eye out on their surroundings… and also failing a little bit, because she now neither had Faunus night vision, nor did she have perfect vision at all.
“I’m pretty certain that the four of us could kill Cyn without too much trouble.” Yang whispered back as she came to a halt, before sticking her foot out to stop Weiss then shimmying the three of them into a storage crate. Bringing a finger up, she counted four times, before nodding and stepping out on the other side. No guards in sight, but Yang’s head shifted as she stepped around like a weird game of Twister, or like the floor was lava.
Weiss looked around, double checking no one was there before speaking up again. “If some random guy on youtube can build and keep a pet Cyn we can avoid killing one I accidentally summon. We can feed her the Ever After. That's not Important, right? Or the brothers… We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it.”
“We’ll blow up the bridge when we get to it,” B huffed, squinting even harder before pointing across the shipping yard. “There. The Ever Frozen. Hasn’t been unloaded yet, still waiting for the dockmaster’s approval. Should start unloading by six in the morning, so we’ve got more than enough time to sneak on and check the crates for anything we can steal.”
“And with the power of hammerspace-” Weiss did little jazz hands. “-we don’t have to worry about carrying capacity. I haven’t found a limit to it yet. I really need to look into what the hell is going on with these Glyphs some time… Later. We have a felony to commit.”
“Right. Let’s get to it then,” B nodded, then traced a route in the air with her fingers. “Go… there. Then to the left. Up that way… and then onto the ship at a vertical run. No surveillance cameras along that route- a minimal blindspot, but doable with enough agility.”
Sprinting forward to follow Blake’s instructions, Yang had to quickly windmill before shifting to the side and climbing up onto one of the containers, grabbing Weiss in the process as three guards walked by. Atlesian judging by their uniforms. Waiting a moment for them to pass, she practically crawled back down to the floor to repeat the process, frowning as she used her Observation Haki to path out when and where she needed to run.
The process of the three of them getting to the ship actually took a decent minute or two. There were a surprising amount of guards the further back they went. “Seems like they really don’t want anyone nabbing this stuff.” Yang quietly mumbled as she finally came to a halt, the three of them against the ship. “You can spring jump, right?” She turned to Weiss with a frown. “Or do I need to carry you up?”
“I’m good.” Weiss gave a little thumbs up before jumping against the wall, then off the wall, with odd little yellow particles following her. When she hit the ground she rocketed back up, and with a rebound off a Glyph, landed safely, and mostly silent, onto the ship.
Nodding her head, Yang quietly breathed out, creating a few puffs of flame that she quickly sprung between, the Flame Clouds dissipating the second her feet left them, before landing on the ship alongside Weiss and quickly moving to the selection of shipping crates marked with different logos. Naturally she chose to check the Purple Soda crate first, shifting it open and holding it open so it didn’t make any noise, only to look in and- “oh it is just purple soda. That’s disappointing.”
“We should throw it into the harbor.” Weiss satirically suggested. “After we finish robbing the rest of the boat I mean. Does anyone actually drink that stuff?”
“Maybe another time.” Yang quickly said, carefully closing it and climbing her way up. “Where’s the juicy shit. We’re looking for Atlas crap… Wait a minute, You said a hundred and fifty thousand tons worth of Dust, right B?”
“Should be, yeah,” B nodded slowly, continuing to mostly just hang off of Yang and look around with muted senses. “Exactly a hundred and fifty thousand tons, give or take a few kilos.”
“One, two… fifty… Eighty… Eighty nine…” Yang slowly trailed off, frowning. “They’re missing fifty thousands worth.” She stated, before jumping and hopping between some of the larger gaps between crates. “Hundred twenty, hundred forty, there’s Grav-dust engines on this bitch for it to carry even more, where the hell are the missing tons of dust!?” She hissed, remembering to keep her voice low, thankfully. “Weiss, c’mere.”
Weiss squinted at the amount, “fifty, hundred twenty, hundred forty… You definitely didn’t count it wrong. Theres, not a lot of reasons to overstate how much Dust you’re shipping. Usually you’d want to understate it, so you could avoid paying taxes most commonly. But overstating it…” Weiss gave Yang a look. “Either someone in Atlas wanted to hang onto some extra Dust, or… Someone is trying to undercut how much Dust people in Vale can buy…”
“I’m gonna kill that fat bitch.” Yang’s eye twitched as she hissed that out, shaking her head. “Always the fucking Spiders marching in on business that isn’t theirs. I poach Roman, I look after her daughters, this is what I get? I’m gonna make a long trip tomorrow.”
“I could just cut a portal for you, drop you on top of her so she has no time to prepare,” B pointed out, finally hopping off of Yang’s back so she could do her own investigation. “Atlas… Atlas… ah. Hm. That’s not the standard crate markings for actual Atlesian military gear… the last time I saw markings like this, it wasn’t their standard AK-130 shipments or any of their other so-called self defense sales, it was…”
She paused, frowning. “... The spider droid on the train. This isn’t just Atlesian military equipment being sold in Vale, this is prototype robotics. Which means…”
The Yamato flashed out, severing open the crate with whisper-smooth cuts so fine that the doors didn’t make any noise even as they were slashed into oblivion. And inside…
Weiss paled as the doors slowly creaked open, revealing an eerily familiar set of wings and prosthetics inside of a glass display case. “H.E.R.M.E.S. Version 2…” She read aloud from the crate. She rushed inside, and began looking through the container. “Usually they ship documents with this kind of thing…”
“I got it.” Yang quietly hummed, pulling out a piece of paper and then frowning. “H.E.R.M.E.S Version 2 mark five. Human Test Subject. Sign on, five years. Status. Orphan. Primary notice, Subject is pre-prepared to receive Hermes Unit when available for transportation. Subject Lie Ren.” Blinking, she barely restrained the urge to whistle. “Damn. That’s… damn.”
“.... That’s uh…” B frowned, reading over the paper from Yang’s shoulder. “... This doesn’t sound… good? Or, I’m assuming it’s not good. Does this mean that Ren signed up for unethical cybernetic implantation? When the hell…? We might need to talk to him about this.”
“It's…” Weiss paused, unsure of what exactly to say. “I’m not gonna judge anyone for also wanting to be a cool cyborg. But, I’m more concerned about how tight of a leash he’s going to be on once he is. They easily could have included a remote override this time, or they plan to just lobotomize him… Could be anything really.” Weiss took in a sharp breath. “We definitely need to talk to him about this.”
“If we steal it, and it still ends up on his body, they’ll ask questions.” Yang pointed out after a moment, then hummed. “I’ve got an idea to make them not look too closely at this door being open, but that’ll mean we won’t get much out of this trip. And the both of you will need to book it real fast.”
“If you were planning on destroying the entire ship, I have that more than covered,” B raised her hand slowly, shrugging ever so slightly.
“No you-” Yang quickly bit down when she nearly got too loud, before holding up her scroll. “I mentioned I can get my idiots to case the place, remember? It’ll be loud, and I’ll need to make lots of noise, crush a few of the containers, steal the dust, and go. But we need to make it that someone stumbled on this, couldn’t make heads or tails, and left it. Maybe break the case a little so that it looks like they got spooked. They won’t think twice.”
B hummed, pursing her lips a little. “... What if I make a bunch of Doppelgangers to do it? Take a bunch of stuff and vanish into the night, that is?”
Frowning, Yang slowly nodded. “It’d work. But you’d need to make them an assortment of Faunus and Humans.” Popping open her medicine case, she held up one of the medicine balls and grimaced. “These taste like ass… Bottoms up.”
Stuffing it in her mouth, she crunched it down, regained her draconic features… only this time, without a tail, and much, much larger legs. Built for kicking. “Leg point!” She hissed in triumph, flexing her currently smaller arms for emphasis.
“... Guh. Leggy,” B mumbled out elegantly, then shook her head and cleared her throat. “Ahem. I mean…”
B’s transformation immediately wore off with astounding timing, leaving Blake standing there with her hands held in possibly the most recognizable weeaboo pose known to man. “Tajuu kage bunshin no jutsu!”
The entire shipyard flooded with over a hundred doppelgangers at once, each one taking different forms and shapes and sizes and immediately starting to run amok and cause chaos for dockside security.
“Imma hope the other yous can carry this shit.” Yang quickly said, before she turned around and kicked out, immediately cratering one of the SDC Mech shipments, and then using her legs to kick one of the dust containers into the air before launching it. Pulling out her scroll, she speed dialed Roman with a smirk. “Got some gifts coming your way, get them hidden.”
“Oh boss, you get me all of the best toys~ I’ll get my boys to pick them up at the usual spot!”
“Third Ave.” Yang quickly said to Blake, before beginning a reign of carnage upon the ship, shifting between Leg Point and Arm Point to kick and throw crates to the stone, and Blake’s Doppelgangers, below, before she turned back to her idiot friends. “Well what’re ya waiting for!? A signed invitation!? GO!”
Without any further ado, Weiss leaped off another wall, right next to Blake. Grabbing hold of her she summoned a black Glyph beneath them and once she hit the floor, she dove into the sky, in the vague direction of third ave. “And away we go!” She called out between the wind, and periodic boosts from Glyphs.
Blake, in Weiss’ arms, just cheered while her Doppelgangers continued to cause chaos down below. “Woooo! Domestic terrorism, fuck yeah!”
Chapter 23: Beacon Days - Yellow Ink Scribbling (Ruby 6)
Chapter by Argo_The_Rat
Summary:
Five deals with the metro
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“Hey, you,” vision blurred into focus, “you're finally awake.”
A something stood in view. Obviously old and worn, wearing the weight of his experience. A heavy clack shook them, their cane shifting naturally to help them keep balance.
“Got caught crossing the border, just like that thief over there.” They gestured to another. Just as large, but very different. Large round things stood out on their head, and some other round things stood out on their chest. Whatever shiny thing across them made them stand out perfectly.
“I… had not steal anything.” A frown crossed their face. “Why did you… say me?”
“That's how Ruby always introduces herself in situations like this.” The older one shrugged. “I don't get it, but I know she'd appreciate it.”
That name… it was… something? Important. Limbs bent and shifted. Another clack jolted them, made them real. Easy to feel from the light ache that suffused them. The light ache that suffused everything. Every inch of everything felt like it'd been stressed just a bit too much, then left.
“So…” the younger paused for a moment, struggling with something, before speaking something that was unintelligible, “is… ununderstandable like that?”
“That she is, Eight.” The older one grunted and turned back to…
Turned back to-
…
Where. Where was it? There wasn't… anything. There was here, with these two, and… nothing else. A yawning chasm that'd swallowed everything up. Nothing left. No name, no face, no nothing.
It should have been scary, but what was there to fear? There was nothing. No sense of loss or purpose. A gigantic question that didn't feel all that important. Nice, maybe, but not important.
“Come on now.” The older one held out a hand. “Stand up, get a good look at yourself. If they did to you what they did to Eight you're going to need the reminder. I can tell you Ruby called you Five, but she left pretty quickly after she dropped you off. Didn't get your actual name.”
Five. Five sounded good. Or it didn't sound bad. It just sounded. A word that wasn't any more important or useful than any other word. Five sounded nice.
Five nodded and took the hand. Her body shifted as she took her feet, not uncomfortably, but in a way she wasn't used to. Not that it meant anything. She wasn't used to anything. Boots clomped onto the floor as she stood, and then clomped more as the older one led her to something.
It looked surreal. A copy of the room behind her. But with a third in it. Five raised a hand and the other in the thing did too. Five waved, and the other did too. Was… that Five?
Eight seemed similar, but had red instead of yellow. There were no large circles either. The shiny black stuff circled around large orbs, much larger than Eights. Large enough that Five had to squish to ensure hand met hand. A turn showed the back was similar- larger than Eight albeit smaller than the ones on front. It looked… nice.
A feeling settled into Five's chest. A breath rushed out as shoulders drooped down. Easy and simple. No problem at all.
“Dunno why they dressed you up like Eight. That's an Octarian uniform, not one we'd use. But I don't think they're using it because it's Octarian.” The elder grumbled and looked around. “From what the phone said both you girls will be dealing with one card. Or… whatever it was didn't much care if Eight gave you a chance at some of the stations. Even said your memories worked just like hers.”
“Wha-” Five cut off and swallowed. That… was a voice. High, a little eepy. Whatever eepy meant. It sounded excited and down all at once. Like being happy to be around even knowing failure was near inevitable. “What is her?”
“Oh.” The old ones hands shook atop the cane. “It seems they took more from you than they did Eight. We have some time, let's go over everything.”
It took a long time. Station after station, intermixed by Five asking questions about what Eight was doing. The way she moved and fought was… beautiful. Entrancing. A faint flash of red and gold scratched at her mind as she watched.
“Can I… learn to do that?” MC Cuttlefish and Eight looked at her as they passed through the starting line again. “If… if it isn't so much trouble…”
“Sure!” Eight stepped forward and swung an arm around Five's shoulders. Her CQ80 flicked out and the train slowed as she input a new destination. “We can take some time to go over stuff and I've got plenty of credits to keep going! You're gonna be great!”
“Not as great as you, Eight.” MC cuttlefish chuckled. “Don't go giving her too many crazy ideas now. You and Three… if I didn't know any better I'd say you were the children of Ruby Rose herself! Don't have anyone else try to match up to you.”
“Maybe I am.” Eight shrugged. “It's not like I’d know if I was, right?”
“Right you are.” Cuttlefish chuckled again. “Now, Five, let's get you started. These old bones still remember how I trained my team to thrive in the Great Turf War.”
Five swallowed. “Right. It won't… it won't be a problem, right? I don't want to drag any of you down…”
“Ha! What baloney.” Cuttlefish stepped forward to pat Five on the head. “Learning is the best way not to do that sort of thing. As long as we know exactly what you can do we know how hard we need to keep an eye on you. We can start with some east stations so you can get a hang of everything.”
It took Five significantly more time to clear the stages. Whatever they were supposed to test it was obvious she didn't have it. Slightly too slow or too hesitant or or or… everything she was just didn't match up. When the phone said Eight was the perfect candidate it meant it. Five wasn't Eight, not even close, and that meant she spent more time getting splatter than actually succeeding.
But she did succeed. Never as much as Eight, never as fast as Eight, but she did. Inch by inch she became… not great, but enough. Enough that she felt confident when Cuttlefish said she was originally there to protect him. She'd never be as fast or as skilled, her body was too different, but when it came to Ink Resistance nobody beat her. If someone needed to be shielded then she was there, and she didn't break.
The ‘brella was good for it too. It helped that it was a very straight weapon. Her boobs didn't get in the way like they did for chargers and the like. Which had been… embarrassing in a different way.
Bows were the enemy and the raw scrape on her boob proved it.
Still, things were going. Slower than they should have, Eight would've dealt with everything in days at most, but still going. Five… needed a lot of help. Even now, with some actual skill, she needed help. It was… bad.
How was she supposed to do anything like this? Compared to Eight she was useless. At best she could stand in front of ink and buy some time, but that wasn't really fighting. It wasn't what she needed to do. Just sitting back and making sure MC Cuttlefish was fine was…
“Haaah…” Five slumped a little as she watched Eight dominate another station. This one had those weird Octolings. The ones that didn't react no matter what Eight did.
She even stepped on one and they didn't do anything! Getting stepped on sure would make Five react.
Just.
Damn.
Eight was pretty. In that objective way where Five didn't have any reason to say no but… well. Eight was so much greater than Five. She didn't have any sort of chance at all and it wasn't worth the risk, really.
“That's a heavy sigh you got there.” Five looked up as Cuttlefish laid a hand on her back. “What's on your mind?”
“I just… can't do that.” She gestured at where Eight was… dominating wasn't even the right word. It was too kind. “How am I supposed to help if I can't even finish this station and Eight's… Eight?”
“By not thinking you need to be Eight. You're Five.” Cuttlefish pat her on the back. “You can't do what Eight can. You aren't going to be able to do what Two can either. Or One or Three. You have to figure out where you fit. And I think I've got a bit of an idea there. What do you think I do?”
“You, MC Cuttlefish? You… you're there. Always.” No matter what, he was there. Even above everyone else, he was there. The first to give her tips and the first to help her after that fucking ink tank splatted her again. “It's nice.”
“Yep. I do a bunch of stuff that nobody else worries about. I might retire soon, I'm not as young as I used to be, but I've learned how useful it is to not have just one leader.” Cuttlefish hummed for a moment. “You aren't going to be a strike force leader. You don't have that hardness, and that isn't a bad thing. But… you could be something else. Not everyone gets results by dictating everything.”
“So… what should I be then?” Five rolled her shoulders. That was the question, wasn't it? Ruby Rose, She of the Thousand Splats, Starter of the Party, had sent her. Sent Five here to do… something.
“You've done it a little already. You notice things a lot more than Eight does. Little bits she doesn't even consider because she's so fast.” He hummed. “Next station I want you to run through it first. You don't have to win, but get a good look at the track. Then I want you to give Eight everything you can about things to take advantage of.”
Five swallowed down the nervousness. Eight giving her advice was about the only way she'd finished a few stages. There were still mem cakes that Eight had that she just... didn't. Because she wasn't good enough. But… if Cuttlefish said to.
“Okay.”
So they did. And when Five saw Eight go through with the advice she'd gotten… well. She didn't get it. Not right then. But it was like she was starting to get it. You didn't try to micromanage someone like Eight. You gave them the tools and then pointed their attention where it needed to be, at just the right moment.
It was leading of a different sort. Not quite like Cuttlefish or… Cuttlefish. There wasn't anyone else around to compare to, really. Still, it felt nice to have. A goal of sorts. Going first meant she often wasted the entry fee, but it meant that Eight finished so much faster. That… that felt nice. To see how much of a difference her advice made.
It was later, much later, that anything else interesting happened. They were almost done, just a station or two left, when-
P.MONEY HAS BEEN ADDED TO THE CHAT
P.MONEY was… weird. She seemed to know Five? Somehow? But also didn't know Five at all. Or something.
She knew Five could cook, and she liked it, but couldn't say that Five's favorite color was bright red and gold, not yellow. Nor did she know about her anxiety. Or… some other stuff. Little things that Five had learned, or re-learned, about herself. The mem-cakes were helpful, but they were also… fragmented and sharp.
Jagged bits of memory slotting into places where other things should brace them. It hurt, every time, and there wasn't any way to avoid it. Not when seeing the mem-cakes at all triggered it. A lot of it didn't make sense even with all of the memories. They felt… distant. As if seen under a glass case or something.
Anyway, P.MONEY was at least… nice about it? She didn't like realizing how much she didn't know, but also wanted to really get to know Five. The CQ-80 had almost run out of power once, when they'd spent too long texting each other. Five didn't even know it could do that.
It was… nice to have someone like that, honestly. Eight and MC Cuttlefish were nice, but something about P.MONEY was… better. She slot in perfectly. All her little slip ups and screw ups. Where she tripped over what to say and floundered over what to do next.
She didn't even know what she wanted to do on a date! Five almost couldn't believe it. It was like she'd only seen a small part of the world and was just realizing that everything else existed. Which… was really funny, considering Five was still trapped within this place. She had memories of the sun, but… that doesn't let you feel it, does it?
“Ready?” Five looked up to see Eight and MC Cuttlefish already on The Thang.
“Ready.” Would P.MONEY be waiting up top? Hopefully. It'd be nice to meet her. She hadn't managed to get every mem-cake, but she'd gotten enough. Any more… well, it wasn't worth keeping Eight and Cuttlefish down here longer.
…
It was a BLENDER!
“Gah!” Shards of glass attempted to cut into her as she stopped them from hitting anyone else. Three had taken the full force of the hit, but she'd saved them!
“Fuck this place!” WRR-TANK! WHAM WHAM WHAM! “And fuck you!” Eight smashed the phone she'd ripped out of the ground a few more times for good measure. “Let's get outta here.”
Cuttlefish insisted on staying with Three. He also insisted Five go with Eight. It was… hard. Working with someone else was different than working alone, but she knew what Eight could do. She didn't get in the way, even if… well she didn't do as much as she'd have liked to. But trying to live up to Eight was… well. If nothing else, this showed how silly that idea was.
“Three?” Why was she? “The gunk! Get the gunk off!”
This… this was what a fight between titans looked like. Eight and Three showed just how far above everyone else they really were. If anyone were to be demi-gods, it'd have to be them. Eight won by the skin of her teeth and they managed to finally exit-
WHOOSH RUMBLE!
“Today is the day my vision becomes reality! I will destroy Inkopolis and everyone in it!”
“You got it! World about to blow- SQUIDBEAK LET'S GO!”
The rush to detonate all the bombs… Five could never have done it without Eight's help. Seeing the statue covered, seeing that she helped…
“AYO STATUE! BOOO-YAAAHHH!”
It was the greatest feeling in the world.
Notes:
One day someone is going to stop me making Skyrim references.
To date this has not happened.
Chapter 24: Beacon Days - Laying Low After Larceny (Weiss 6)
Chapter by Argo_The_Rat, CyberQueen_Jolyne, desolatedsabers, InternecionWitch
Chapter Text
“Hmm… do you think I’m technically considered a domestic terrorist now, even though my Vale passport and citizenship are uh… definitely fake?” Blake asked, lounging atop a crate of stolen goods that she’d managed to throw through a portal with Yamato at… some point. Said crate was entirely full of random consumer electronics, of which they’d likely never need anything but the latest scroll models held within. Or the desk fans. Maybe.
“I mean, probably?” Weiss guessed, lounging on some random couch in Yang’s secret crime warehouse. “You’re just a domestic terrorist and a perjurer. And also an international terrorist…” Weiss squinted. “How many crimes have you committed again?”
“Only a crime if you get caught.” Yang said from the side, Roman raising a cup in agreement.
“When there’s no cops around, anything’s legal.” Weiss agreed. “Or if you throw enough money at it.”
“Hmm… how many crimes have I committed…?” Blake mumbled, starting to count off on her fingers slowly. “... Aggravated assault, breaking and entering, armed robbery, manslaughter, airship hijacking, assassination, assault with a deadly weapon, bank robbery, concealing people from arrest, domestic terrorism, international terrorism, embezzlement, drive-by shooting, stealing train cars, destruction of military property, more destruction of military property, arson, vandalism, smuggling, shoplifting, possession and sale of illicit drugs, forgery, illegal immigration, first degree murder, second degree murder, third degree murder… Oh, and driving under the influence that one time.”
“Babe.” Yang cut in, shaking her head with a goofy smile. “It’s not a competition. You don’t need to list every crime, y’know?”
“I know… I just… realized how much crime I’ve done in the last five years,” Blake shrugged, blushing a little and looking away whilst clearing her throat. “... I might have mostly been an accomplice for a lot of stuff but it’s not like I shied away from killing people that I thought deserved it. I just avoided killing people who didn’t.”
“I mean, killing people probably isn’t a good thing to be in the habit of, but like, I kinda get it.” Weiss cut in. “Honestly I wanted to kill every SDC executive I saw but I knew if I started it would probably end with Atlas crashing out of the sky.”
“Look, there’s really only one option when you’ve already got a guy tied up for blackmailing and robbery purposes and then you find his stash of child pornography,” Blake deadpanned. “And then naturally after that the only option is to find the guy’s trafficking ring buddies and make sure their souls go screaming straight to Hell.”
“I can’t claim to be half as moral as that.” Yang hummed, before grinning a crooked grin. “Hostile takeovers, examples, Neo dealing with problem cases… so many dead assholes. And business assholes. And guards a few times, but most of those were incidental.” She shrugged, before flopping over a crate and popping another open to pull out one of her sugary energy drinks. “You want electrolytes or just caffeine?”
“Caffeine.” Weiss shot up from the couch, and stared at Yang with wide eyes. “Always caffeine. Gimme.”
“Mmmpf.” Ruby slightly picked her head up from the floor, where she had simply… appeared. Face down. “There were bandits around Vale. Also… a lot of contract killing, for some reason. I may have taken offense.”
“As you should.” Weiss nodded in agreement. “Who were they being sent to kill? And who sent them? Did you kill them all?”
“People. Contracts.” A low sound of contentment came out of her. The low sound of a bell faintly rung out, sending hair standing on end and the faint feel of something wrong . “They decided to hunt. I invaded them. They didn’t do too well.”
Blake paused, tilting her head. “... Y’know, now I’m kinda glad that the Vale branch of the Fang mostly stayed out of the main parts of Vale and usually just went for targeted strikes at the rich assholes from time to time, in between stealing shipments and firebombing racist fuckers’ houses.”
“I probably wouldn’t have killed ya’s.” Yang hummed, flicking a can at Weiss and then sliding off the crate she was on head first, flopping to the ground and then standing up. “I mean, aside from you being part of them, I mean. Or, not you, but you, you. Y’know? Anyway, if y’d made trouble, I’d’ve bulldozed ya, made you all Gifters, went off from there. Probably had you working with Neo or Roman.”
“... Yeah, if I hadn’t picked up demon powers when I did, I’d probably only be a Gifter…” Blake sighed dramatically, slumping over the side of the crate she was on and holding out her arms to Yang before sloooowly sliding down off the side of said crate. “Catch me~”
“If I must.” Yang grinned, and then scooped Blake into her arms with a happy hum. “You’re so needy, now. It’s cute.”
“Blake. Have we missed anything actually important?” Ruby slightly shifted, enough that she could actually look at the catgirl on the team. “You’re the only one that actually attends class… consistently.”
“Hey, I’m there for most of them. After noon at least.” Weiss took another sip of her drink. “I never seem to get up in time for the morning ones… Wonder why that is.” Couldn’t be the absurd amount of caffeine she drank. Couldn’t be.
“Nothing really. I’ve got enough notes for us to make sure we can pass any exams coming up, plus study guides, homework guides, I think I made a spreadsheet at some point to track which professors could tell that my doppelgangers were disguised as any of you three…” Blake paused, tapping her chin and snuggling up in Yang’s arms. “Oh, there’s some exams coming up by the way. Probably best to not miss them. Though, honestly, Qrow will let us skip the combat class exams if we let him know beforehand that we’re fucking off. What’s he going to do anyway, fight us?”
“Probably. But he won’t make us try.” Ruby hummed. “Maybe I’ll ask if I can watch. I’ve seen how good Five got over her time in the metro, but she might need help with swordplay. Pyrrha said she’d help, but she still had the dick when they started to escape and… well Five’s probably lucky she doesn’t actually have hip bones now. How Octarian military gear managed to end up as latex fetishwear I have no idea. Yharnam didn’t even have latex.”
Shifting to better hold Blake, Yang hummed in thought as she tried to remember anything about Yharnam… and then shrugged. “Nothing I can remember, but then a lot of the catacombs probably had oil in them from how long they’d been grinded down over time. And since time was finicky in Yharnam, the real world, versus Yharnam, the Dream, having enough time for it to naturally produce everything you need for synthetic latex wouldn’t have been difficult. And since Inkopolis and the other areas are built over Yharnam, they’d naturally have access to it.”
“I think DJ Octavio might just have a fetish,” Blake deadpanned.
“Yeah, my vote’s with Blake on that.” Weiss concurred. “But do you really want to question it, or do you just want to be glad that it is?”
“I don’t think any of you even know what they look like. Besides, they’re my kids. I don’t have sex with them.” Ruby paused for a moment. “Usually.”
She shifted a little more as everyone looked at her. “Listen, if they went through all the effort to set up a ritual circle around an actually really comfy bed and have a thirty Inkling choir humming the Calamari Inkantation while a girl gives me ‘come hither’ eyes completely naked then I’m not saying no.”
“Oh I remember that.” Yang chuckled, and then let out a sigh. “You ruined her for anyone after that. So cruel you are, Ruby. So very very cruel.” She teased.
Ruby huffed. “Her partners just need to git gud.”
“Does that mean Ruby is the Dark Souls of sex?” Weiss pondered before throwing her head in her hands. “What the fuck did I just say?”
Blake wheezed, making an utterly disgusted face at Weiss’ awful joke. “One million years dungeon.”
“One million years gulag.” Yang added, shaking her head in disappointment. “You couldn’t have said that instead of casual sex she had competitive sex? Or that she was the gatekeeper of boning? The keeper of carnal delights? Elite dick officer? Queen Fucker?”
Weiss groaned audibly as she threw herself back into laying onto the couch. “Once I thought of it I had to say it okay? Besides, none of the other examples you just gave are any better either.”
“Yeah but none of them sound like they came from a cheap game review of someone that couldn’t beat the first level of a fucking platformer.” Yang snidely shot back, looking even more disappointed. “My comedy is ass but that ass is an A for Effort. We are not the same.”
“My ass is an A for Amazing,” Blake purred, completely ignoring Yang’s dumb jokes in favor of being gay at the seven foot tall big titty dragon woman currently carrying her. “Anyway. So. We’ve stolen a bunch of shit from the SDC. We basically halfway scuttled one of their ships using my Doppelgangers… and we also might have uncovered something of a conspiracy involving Ren for some reason. That, or he just made a really stupid financial decision that trapped him in some shady Atlesian contract… somehow.”
“The orphan stuck supporting himself and his best friend for ten years let himself fall into a shady contract in exchange for money?” Said seven foot tall big titty dragon woman currently carrying her sarcastically said, raising an eyebrow. “Who would’ve guessed?”
“Wait a minute, does Nora know anything about this? They were basically…” Weiss trailed off. There wasn’t a good word to describe whatever the hell was going on between Ren and Nora for the ten years they wandered Remnant. “She’s gotta know something, right? Or at least a clue.”
“Or Ren didn’t tell her so she wouldn’t worry.” Yang pointed out.
“Ren
does
have a bit of a problem with communication,” Blake nodded along slowly. “I really wouldn’t put it past him to do something stupid if it meant that Nora could have, oh, what, food? Tuition? Rent? Name an essential thing two orphans wouldn’t have had much, if any of, when it came to survival out in the middle of fucking nowhere.”
“Nora probably knows something . Who knows what she’s prepared to do about it though.” Ruby flopped herself over to lay on her back. Her boobs somehow popped up like they’d been deflated. “That’s better. We only know that whatever Nora prepared, it’s probably crazy. Anyone left any random special swords lying around or anything?”
“Babe?” Yang asked Blake, a grin on her face. “Anything?”
“The last thing I remember of being Vergil is… I’m pretty sure I got knocked out of reality by Red Queen, so,” Blake shrugged, not really knowing what to say. “I wish I had more weird swords lying around, but Myrtenaster’s basically only seen use in sparring lately and I gave Gambol Shroud to Weiss.”
“Mpf. You need more swords.” Ruby looked up, down her boobs, and at Blake. “What sword… actually no. I will make you a sword. It’ll be perfect.”
“Please don’t make Red Queen. I have too many memories of that stupid fucking motorcycle sword getting rammed into my face by an angry gorilla of a guy in his mid twenties to want to ever pick it up myself,” Blake deadpanned flatly, shuddering a little and rubbing the bridge of her nose in some mild phantom pain. “Ugh… and to think that pissed off gorilla was the son I had no idea existed.”
“Give her a gun sword. Those are always cool.” Weiss suggested. “Or a gun that shoots swords… No, that's dumb.”
“Motorcycles are Yang’s thing anyway.” Ruby hummed. “A gun sword would work better for Pyrrha. For Blake… I’ll think of something. It’ll be great. Maybe based on the Chikage? Or the Rakuyo…”
“Buster sword?” Weiss offered. “That’s a classic. Although I think you could just throw that thing around like a gorilla too…”
“... I like my blades a little more wieldy than that,” Blake sighed, shaking her head. “No bigger than Force Edge, which would have been… about this big.”
With a flare of demon power, she summoned one of her ephemeral swords, holding it aloft for Ruby to see. “That’s about as big as I can wield before I start getting pissed about the weight balance.”
Weiss squinted, measuring the blade with her eyes. “I guess I respect that but like… It doesn’t have that same cool factor a giant sword would. Even if it being all wavey and glowing purple is sick as hell.”
“It’s a Mirage Edge, it’s not meant to have the cool factor of a giant sword,” Blake shot back, huffing quietly before dispelling the summoned sword. “Besides. I’m not my brother. Giant swords are for foolish idiots with no sense of propriety, and also apparently rage fueled gorillas with daddy issues.”
“But Vergil also had daddy issues.” Yang gently pointed out, and then blinked. “And the both of you had mother issues too. And you had a giant sword. And Cavaliere Angelo did too. And the Yamato technically becomes a giant Mirage Edge when you use SDT.”
“SHHHH!” Blake yelped, covering Yang’s mouth. “Do not. Remind me. Of Nelo Angelo!”
A snap echoed through the air. “I’ve come up… with a new recipe!” Ruby promptly flopped around again and disappeared into mist.
“I’m gonna say I didn’t mention Nelo Angelo, because Urizen used that crystal as a giant sword, too.” Yang said, mostly to be a contrarian, but also to try and dissipate a bit of the tension in Blake’s body. “Despite your outwardly cool and collected self, Vergil liked big cool swords just as much as Nero and Dante. You’re just as much of a neeeeerd.”
“Shut uuuuuuuuupppppppp oh my gooooodddddd,” Blake whined, ears going flat against her head from embarrassment. “I’m not a nerd! I’m too cool to be a nerd like those two!”
“Your human half communicated almost entirely in poetry.” Yang deadpanned, and then hummed. “And your dopplegangers show that on the inside, whenever Vergil is trying to taunt his opponents he wants to dance just as much as Dante does.”
“Weh! Stop bullying me!” Blake pouted, glaring up at Yang with pure indignation in her eyes. “It’s not fair!”
“Is too fair.” Yang maturely shot back, before pulling Blake up into a quick kiss. “And now you’re not thinking of your trauma anymore. So I double win in this fight, my nerdy little demonic wifey.” Blowing her tongue out teasingly, Yang shifted her hold to just underneath the perfect Bella-booty, holding her up with a grin. “What’re you gonna do about it?”
“Weh!” Blake continued to pout, huffing and blushing and sorta just collapsing in on herself in favor of cuddling against Yang. “... I’m gonna get you pregnant. I’m definitely gonna get you pregnant, no matter how wrong it feels to be a top!”
“Ruby might have something to say to that.” Yang commented quietly as she leaned in real close to Blake and grinned. “But I look forward to it. I look forward to seeing you holding me down and fucking my brains out again, and again, and again, until I’m a fat little blimp full of adorable demon dragon kittens.” She whispered quietly, almost up against Blake’s face, and a curl of delight in her eyes.
“Hdgsdfhsdsdfnfsdfsdgsdgfgdfgdsfm,” Blake replied elegantly, the top of her head literally catching fire from arousal mixing with embarrassment.
“Damn Yang, you actually broke her.” Weiss watched as Blake just sat there in Yang's arms, her face completely blank.
“I have a pregnancy kink the same level of strength as Ruby’s. If I’m being threatened with a good time, I’m taking it with both hands.” Yang grinned back at Weiss, before sitting down and pulling Blake into her lap. “Now, I have more important business to attend to. Four feet of tongue meeting Blake’s stomach.”
And with that, Yang pulled Blake into a steaming kiss, giggling whenever Blake let out a squeak or a mrrp sound.
“Whole new meaning to turn it off and on again,” Weiss muttered.
Chapter 25: Beacon Days - Stay With Me.
Chapter by desolatedsabers
Chapter Text
“Y’know… I never thought, by this point in my life, that I’d have at least two women wanting, and trying, to get me pregnant. It’s nice.” Yang commented to herself, before shifting around to stare at the currently dozing form of Ruby. “Speaking of getting pregnant. Rubes. Rubey-doobs. Rhombus. My wonderful rubix cube. Where is Pyrrha?”
“Inkopolis. Probably.” Ruby didn’t even open her eyes. “Maybe she took Pearl up on her offer and they all went on a world tour. Or something. Wouldn’t be surprised if they were in the Splatlands. Pyrrha feels like she’d like the rough and tumble of Splatsville over Inkopolis. If only because she could beat someone who objected to her walking around with Five on a leash.”
Blinking, Yang hummed before slowly crawling over and laying across Ruby’s stomach. “Is that a thing she’d do? She was cute, but Pyrrha felt pretty repressed even after you had her legs behind her head.”
“She saw Five in a fetish outfit and I don’t think she was quite used to her dick yet.” Ruby chuckled. “I’m surprised they actually made it to the nearest bed, honestly.”
“I can only imagine…” Blake purred from the side, huffing a little at the loss of Yang right next to her. “Though… that said, does Five still have any memories left or are they just… lost?”
She paused, shuffling a little bit before changing her entire position so she could lay her head upon Yang’s gloriously sized butt, mindful of the tail also sticking out from about that location.
“Some. She hadn’t managed to retrieve all of her mem cakes, so some things are still missing. I’ll put those back later, if she asks for them. Otherwise… she knows enough. No culture shock or anything, beyond what she was already experiencing.” Ruby chuckled and pat Yang on the head. “Apparently going from a mostly rural civilian existence to a top level combat school results in some clashes. Who knew? She might even be better now, since she’s had more immediate experiences in Inkopolis… provided Pyrrha has let her out to experience them.”
“If she can crawl out of the door without being dragged back for fucky time, I’ll be surprised.” Yang chuckled as her tail wrapped around Blake’s chest area and held her tight, while also leaning into Ruby’s hand. “Do we call them back over, or are you gonna wait for Pyrrha to get all of it out of her system? Cause if we wait too long, Jeanne, or Five, or whatever we’re calling her, will probably end up too big to move safely.”
“I did make sure she got the excuse form that let her off indefinitely. She has time. Pyrrha had better be more worried, but she has top marks in everything so,” Ruby shrugged, “it’d take a while for anything to actually hurt her. Some time in Inkopolis might help. She wasn’t… really used to interacting with people as Pyrrha Nikos instead of The Invincible Girl.”
“Mmm… probably still a good idea to bring ‘em back in the next few days… by the way, we should talk to Ren when we bring Pyrrha and Five back,” Blake hummed softly, tail flicking gently while she spoke. “And see if Nora knows anything about that military system thing. Do you think anyone’s noticed about… all of that, yet?”
“The question is- does anyone care ?” Ruby tilted herself to look Blake in the eyes. “Atlas isn’t exactly very welcome in Vale, generally speaking.”
“Keep petting me.” Yang imperiously demanded, even as she pulled up her scroll. “And yes, Atlas gave a shit that we bumped out that boat, but we didn’t steal the V2 system, so they’re keeping it quiet to avoid showing what was actually on the ledgers.”
“Anyone who can actually do anything about it doesn’t care. No matter how much that fuckstick Ironwood will chomp at the bit to trot out his insults to my domain ,” ohhh, that was the angry voice, that wasn’t good, “he can’t actually do anything outside of the areas assigned to Atlas to guard. Maybe he could get away with it if it had happened in a small village, but in Vale? He tried anything too far and Ozpin would be told to get rid of him. If they were being nice. If not… Glynda would dismantle their ships piece by piece with them in them .”
“... Is it weird that you saying that immediately made me want to go beg Professor Goodwitch to dom me?” Blake asked, perking up a little bit and wagging her tail slightly faster at the chance to be even more of a disaster lesbian. “Ah wait, but she’s got that situationship going on between her, Qrow, and… I think Professor Vega?”
“No, she is a very scary woman and absolutely could dom you into a puddle.” Ruby returned to scratching Yang. Right around the scales, where it felt best, apparently. “But she also has that whatever going on so… don’t get involved, it isn’t worth it. Vega is very scary, but could not dom you into a puddle.” Ruby paused. “Provided your definition of ‘scary’ included ‘crimes against fashion’. Otherwise it’d be like a bad trip decided to beat you into unconsciousness.”
Normally, Yang would probably make a joke, or a comment. However, with the spots around her scales being scratched, she quickly became a puddle of relaxed goo as well, cuddling up to Ruby and letting out soft noises and leg twitches.
“Hey, I think Professor Vega looks cool,” Blake protested, then paused and huffed. “... I guess that doesn’t say anything about her and everything about me, though. Dammit. Whatever, I still want Professor Goodwitch to dom me even if she’s already in a different relationship. Ah well… maybe in the future.”
“Maybe. Probably not, but maybe. If you really want someone endlessly dangerous to dom you, you could find Salem. She’s had like… a thousand year dry spell? She complains about it endlessly .” Ruby sighed and leaned back, still scratching Yang. “I don’t think she even knows I can hear her? But she’s the biggest Hunter on the planet right now, so I hear her complaints, and it’s always the most petty shit. She could have figured out sex toys had advanced a loooot if she ever stepped outside of that castle. We should stage an intervention. With Uncle Qrow. He knows how to show someone a good time. Even if they’re immune to drugs.”
“... I do have a thing for goth milfs…” Blake murmured softly, sitting up and tapping her chin as she considered Ruby’s words. “... too bad I can’t be a goth milf for… about twenty more years, though. Tsk.”
She paused, looking over at Ruby again. “... I mean, you could make me a mother but being a teenage mother really isn’t the same as being a milf.”
“True.” Ruby hummed and narrowed her eyes at Blake. “Can you actually ever look old enough to qualify? You have regeneration. You might need to figure out some bypass to do it, and at that point you should probably just do it now and stay a goth MILF forever.”
“I do age normally,” Blake deadpanned, sweeping her hands through her hair. “Looking younger than I actually am isn’t a default thing, I actually have to try in order to regenerate wrinkles. That, or split myself into pieces again and do this whole thing about gaining demonic power and sacrificing human souls before my asshole idiot brother almost kills one part of me so the other part can rejoin and make me again.”
She paused again, clearing her throat. “It’s a very long, drawn out, collateral damage heavy process that takes about a whole month or so to complete and requires nearly dying many, many times on both sides of the equation. But it does keep me looking like I’m in my twenties instead of in my forties… or even older.”
“Ladies from the world of One Piece don’t age unless they lose sight of their dreams, and I’ve got mine right where I want them.” Yang hummed smugly, still blissed out from Ruby’s perfect hands. “Coupled with Ruby refusing to let me die in any shape or form, and I’ll be around for a long, long time.”
“Huh. I just look like how I want.” Ruby shifted in a way that wasn’t conventionally explainable and suddenly looked… a lot older. She’d lost some of that youthful vigor in favor of the presence experience brought. Small crow’s feet stretched from her eyes and her boobs were a bit bigger. Even her hair was longer, and shaggier, dipping slightly over her eyes. “See? I don’t think I can truly pull off MILF just yet, but I can pull off ‘older goth’.” Which, on second look, she’d managed. With black lipstick and some nice eyeshadow, some of the darker graffiti of Inkopolis now stretching onto her neck.
“Woah, mama…” Yang whispered quietly, staring up at Ruby with wide eyes. “If I didn’t have Blake wrapped in my tail I think I’d just jump in your lap and get to work on that ‘mother’ part. Even if you wouldn’t be carrying them.”
“Me- yow,” Blake agreed, unable to form any more coherent thoughts than that. “Buh… pretty…”
“Yeah, it could be better with an actual MILF look, but I think that's a mental slash spiritual block there. Can’t be a MILF without actually raising kids and I’ve been really hands off on Inkopolis.” Ruby tilted her head, her now hair following the motion to expose one, almost glowing, silver eye. With the way the light was, and the way he head was tilted, it looked like every over wide eyed goth staring down at the viewer picture ever. Except better. Because it was real. “I’ll definitely fix that this year though.”
“I did promise…” Yang quietly mumbled with a small blush on her face, blowing out a sigh as she pressed her face into Ruby’s lap. “Ugh. How am I still so much of a sap?”
“You’re our sap, though,” Blake reached over, patting Yang on the back before sort of just butting her way in and turning their positions into a rough cuddle pile. “Mmm… this is nice.”
“There there…” Ruby smiled down at both of them, scratching both of them around their ears. Did her boobs get bigger? “There’s enough of me to go around.”
Unwrapping her tail from Blake’s chest, Yang pushed herself up to a kneeling position, leaning against Ruby like an over affectionate cat. If it weren’t for the backrest, and Ruby’s own strength, Yang would probably have succeeded in pushing her over as well. “I knowwww…”
Blake, meanwhile, just purred like the overgrown lapcat that she was, pushing up against Ruby’s hand and snuggling even more while her tail and ears twitched with delight.
“Hmm… I don’t think we have anything else to do today, do we?” Ruby leaned back and crossed her legs. The fact that she was suddenly wearing a skirt went unremarked in favor of the fact that she had not put on panties with them. “So how about you two do me a favor? Blake can check if I got the flavor right, and Yang can ensure I’m… properly producing.” One finger gently tugged down her suddenly extant button-up, slowly letting the buttons pop open to reveal her lack of bra and obviously leaking nipples. “How about that?”
Blinking back to awareness, Yang reached forward and gave one of Ruby’s breasts a squeeze, rubbing her thumb over the nipple and mildly marvelling at the fact that what felt like actual milk leaked out. Bringing it to her lip, she hummed as she tasted it, before nodding and leaning back in, latching on without hesitation and drinking greedily.
Blake, being Blake, did just about the only thing a desperately gay catgirl could do in the face of a hot goth girl’s lactating titties. “HOMPH!”
Life was good for Ruby Rose. And Team R_BY.
“Kiriko’s first action was to confidently and self assuredly whip it out, tugging her leggings down with fervent heat and advancing upon Riri’s nude form. Without a moment’s hesitation, the kunoichi thrust it forward with great force, her voice and Riri’s creating a symphony of eroticism in the confines of their chambers. Every angle, her hips moved to penetrate Riri’s most delicate of parts- every motion drawing a shuddering cry until with great strength she rammed it in fully, all the way to the hilt. Hours whiled away in the warm, soft dark between the two lovers, until in the end, they both lay satisfied, and Riri’s curse was lifted free-”
Blake pulled the book away from her face, frowning. “... Man, the quality of the smut in this series really went downhill lately… what the fuck?”
“It almost sounds like Dante wrote it. That almost felt word for word the same things he said after killing Belial.” Yang commented, before yoinking the book and putting her thumb on Blake’s page, closing it around her finger. “Why’re you reading smut when I’m right here, by the way? I thought you threatened to do something and I’ve been waiting for you to collect.”
“I’ve been trying for the last few days, Yang, at least let me catch up on my trashy ninja smut novels for the sake of plot and lore,” Blake sighed, reaching pitifully for said book before giving up almost immediately. “Honestly. The smut is terrible but the lore is weirdly in depth? Fascinating look in to the mind of someone who can’t write lesbian smut in the slightest, but still seems to think lesbians are the coolest thing ever.”
“I can respect that. Where’s your bookmark?” Yang seemed to immediately switch tracks as she fished around for it, looking for the required piece of plastic with a hum.
“I uh… don’t use bookmarks. Usually if I need to hold my place in a book I just…” Blake trailed off, flaring her demonic energy and producing a single bright violet, translucent rose in one hand. “Y’know… like a proper emo goth girl. I thought you woulda noticed with the amount of mirage flowers I use with everything.”
Clicking her tongue, Yang still took the rose and put it in the space her thumb was occupying, before putting the book on their shared bedside cabinet… and then immediately straddling Blake and pulling her in close, cradling the cat Faunus’ face with her hands. “Blake? Y’know I care about you, right?”
Blake… blinked, ears going back slightly. “U-uh, yeah…? Why? What’s wrong…?”
“You worry me. A lot.” Yang softly said, rubbing her thumbs along the side of Blake’s face as she stared at her with a tilted head. “You say things that are concerning, do things that tell me you don’t care what happens to you. Even if you didn’t have your regeneration, you’d do them too, I know you would. I fall for people fast, and I fall for them hard, and you’ve carved out an entire section of my heart to live in, and that was before you promised to pump me full of Dragon Kittens. So I want you… I would like you to not… degrade yourself. See yourself as lesser. I’m going to need you by my side to be even a half decent parent in this life. And I can’t have you damaging yourself in any shape or form. Okay?”
“I-” Blake winced a little, subtly moving away from Yang unconsciously without even realizing. “I’m not… degrading myself by calling myself emo, Yang… a-and it’s not like I’m leaving you anytime soon, or ever. I- just… it’s just… the only thing I really know about… caring about other people is… acts of service. Proving that I’m worth keeping around. And it’s not like anything I do now actually hurts me in the long run… I’m the strongest demon on the planet, a couple missed hours of sleep is nothing.”
“It hurts your mind. Gives you fatigue. Poisons your brain.” Yang gently said back, squishing Blake’s mouth a bit with her hands. “You don’t… I don’t…” Sucking in a breath, she hung her head before slowly leaning in. “I don’t need you to do things for me, for me to love you. I don’t need you to do anything but exist, for me to love you. I Love you. And I need you to promise me that I’m not gonna come back to see you laying on the ground mentally clocked out, even if your body is fine, untouched, and healthy. I need you here, one hundred percent, and I need to keep you healthy and happy in all ways, so that I can keep loving you. Okay? You’re not allowed to leave me.”
“I-I…” Blake froze, trembling and wide eyed and leaking tears without any prompting whatsoever. It didn’t even really seem like she heard most of what Yang said, only focusing on a few words in the middle. “You… you love me…? Like… f-for real…? N-not just saying that l-like a casual thing…?”
“Blake. I got you an engraved collar, with actual cat's eyes and amethysts, with your name at the front. I trust you with everything I’ve spent years building. I trust you aren’t going to leave me because Ruby can fuck you harder than I ever could. And more than that, I trust you to Love me.” Yang frowned, wiping Blake’s face with her thumbs before pulling her in for a gentle kiss. “I Love you. Stupid as that sounds. I fall hard, fast, and on my ass when I fall for someone, and that someone is you. And that means you’re not allowed to leave me, ever, and you’re not allowed to do things that’ll damage your mind. I know I bluster. I make threats. I exaggerate. And then you get me on my back, thrust once, and I fold like a house of cards. But I’m entirely serious whenever I say that you are mine, and I don’t intend to give you any idea to the contrary that I want you as mine. So trust that what I say is true. Please.”
“I-” Blake… couldn’t really speak. She just trembled there in Yang’s arms, not knowing what to do or what to say, unable to swallow the lump in her throat and equally unable to stem the tears flooding from her eyes. “I- Y-you really… w-want me…?”
“Yes. Yes I do. I want a big stupid wedding on a beach somewhere sunny, where I’d be in a stupid frilly dress and you’d be wearing some kind of suit dress thing, and we’d have a stupid honeymoon somewhere quiet where I don’t have to care about my stupid businesses or my enterprises, and I’d stupidly cry when we finally cemented it as official, and I’d look like a stupid fat blimp full of demon dragon kittens when you knocked up my stupid self… And I wanna meet your parents.” Yang finally capped it off as she hunched in keeping her eyes firmly locked on Blake’s and tried her best to push it out instead of immediately comforting her paramour. “I want you. All of you. I want your last name. I want you, in me. I want your parents to know me, and at least like me a little. I want everything you can give me, and I want to give you everything I can give you. So please. Please. Let me. Let me give you everything.”
“I…” Blake just whimpered, sobbing quietly and collapsing into Yang’s arms. “I want the same things… I want… I want all of those same things … b-but I don’t know how… Even after all this time, even with how different I am now… I can’t stop running away from everything because I’m so scared of being hurt again… even though I’ve never been hurt like that in this life…”
“Then trust me. Trust that I don’t want to hurt you. That Ruby and Weiss don’t want to hurt you. That all of us care about you. That I Love you, and that you don’t have to be alone anymore.” Yang firmly said, shifting her face until she had a determined smile, and held out a hand despite the lack of distance between them. “My name is Yang Xiao-Long. I was born on Patch. My Mother’s name is Raven Branwen. My Father’s name is Taiyang Xiao-Long. I like long walks on the beach, peach wine, and fighting. I don’t like uppity brats that think that because they have a little bit of power, they can fight me, and being abandoned by people I care about. My Dream in my last life was to create a world of War, where anyone could become whoever they wanted and carve out their own place. My dream in this life is to have a bunch of children, and try to be at least a half decent parent. Join my crew, and become my wife.”
“O-okay…” Blake nodded ever so slightly, sniffling and barely able to see Yang’s hand through her tears. “O-okay. I… I’ll trust you. I don’t… know if I’ll be good for you. O-or if I really am worth keeping around… b-but I’ll trust you when you say that you want me. A-and I love you too. I want to be your wife.”
“Good. I’d be sad if I said all that and you said no at the end.” Yang cheekily chuckled as she wiped off Blake’s tears, leaning in and pressing her cheek against Blake’s. “I promise. I’ll make you see that you’re more than worth it. Because no matter what, you’re mine, and I’m gonna love you so hard you’ll forget what it felt like to not be loved.”
She wrapped her arms around Blake, and her tail for added measure as she wiggled forward, and then straightened her spine. And then tried to not laugh when Blake disappeared between her titties. Still… “I’m serious about wanting to meet your parents, though. I can fly the both of us to Menagerie if you don’t want to do it by phone. Probably best to not do it by phone, actually… I don’t know uh… I’ve never really…” Licking her lips, Yang drooped slightly. “I’ve only had a few girlfriends in this life, and I never really got to the point of meeting their parents. And then my time was taken up by Ruby. So…”
Blake chuckled softly, wet and rough from her tears, but still a laugh all the same. “I’ll take you there myself when we have a free weekend. Make up for ghosting them for five years by bringing home a wife instead of Adam. They’ll love you, I promise.”
“They won’t have a problem with what I do?” Yang asked softly, nervous despite how confident she was just a minute ago. “I don’t… I dunno if most parents would like their daughter getting married to the leader of a Zaibatsu… A-and your parents probably know what that actually means, so… double nervous…”
“Trust me, it’ll be okay,” Blake sighed, patting Yang on the boob because that was about the only thing she could reach at the moment. “... Sorry about being a mess. A-and for getting snot on your shirt. I’m… kind of an ugly crier.”
“Someone crying is meant to be loud, ugly, and emotional. Otherwise it just hurts more.” She responded, shaking her head. “It’s just a shirt, and a shower will wash off anything that got on my skin. Besides, I’m just as much an ugly crier. Even before I start drinking.”
Letting out a soft sigh, Yang leaned back, freeing Blake from her boob prison and grinning at her as she held herself up with her arms, her body in an odd shape. “I mean it though. If you leave me, I’ll cry. And it won’t be pretty. Mark my words! Mark them!” She ‘shouted’, really just raised her voice slightly, for silly effect.
“Pfff… You’re so ridiculous,” Blake cracked a small, genuine smile, shaking her head a little and touching the collar around her neck. “I… I love you, Yang. I can’t promise that it’ll be perfect from here on out… but I love you. And I’ll stay with you as long as you’ll have me. So… don’t cry?”
Yang hummed, before nodding her head. “Okay. Let’s get you cleaned up, I’m getting out of this shirt, and then… we can cuddle. Just cuddle.” Saying that, she pushed herself up and off the bed, and held her hand out.
Blake huffed, taking Yang’s hand. “That sounds wonderful.”
Life was good for Yang Xiao-Long. And Blake Belladonna. Good indeed.
Chapter 26: Beacon Days - Parent Teacher Sandwich
Chapter by The_Mad_Mystic
Chapter Text
Living with multiple bodies, each feeling everything fully, simultaneously, was an… interesting experience. While it certainly had its uses, Qrow was well aware he’d be unable to function if he were a normal person and not a living mass of virus cells cleverly disguised as a human. Mostly.
Of course, this meant he could go on another date with Glynda, while also keeping an eye on Ironwood, Salem, and most annoying, Jacques. Of course, the most important thing to focus on was Glynda. For all that the others were more dangerous, Glynda was important . Ironwood could get fucked, he wasn’t a threat. Salem was going to get fucked, if he had anything to say about it. Jacques, however… with Weiss being entirely different from her canon portrayal, Qrow didn’t have much to worry about in the immediate future. As long as Weiss was okay, Jacques could be dealt with later. It helped that delaying that just a bit allowed him to deal with Jacques in a more… amusing manner.
“I’m surprised.” Glynda murmured, setting her drink down.
“What about?” Qrow blinked, toying with his food just a bit with his fork. He didn’t actually need to eat like a normal human anymore, but he enjoyed the taste at least. “I mean, I know this isn’t the fanciest place, but I figured you’d like it.”
“No, I do, I’m just… you really are acting differently.” Glynda’s gaze softened. “More… I don’t want to say mature, but alive?”
“I… had something of a wake-up call.” Qrow sighed. “Seeing Ruby and Yang as they are now, something about it… I mean, sure they aren’t my daughters, but they’re family.” That much was true. Seeing how much they’d changed from what he’d expected had… helped him. Centered him, so to speak. “I’ve always liked teaching, so I figured…”
“You’ve done fairly well, though I admit to being concerned about some of the absences…” Glynda admitted, a concerned frown on her face. “Jaune and Pyrrha both being absent is… well, we don’t want any pregnancies.”
Qrow chuckled, remembering Raven hiding her pregnancy during the last year at Beacon. “They’ll be fine, don’t worry. Jaune will be coming back, very different. Pyrrha… not so much? The details are personal, but I’ve been told enough to support it.” Now that was a lie. Technically, he hadn’t been told anything. He’d just listened in with some of his miniature copies. They were little more than flies, but they allowed him to spy on whoever he needed.
“Though, Ozpin certainly seems… stressed.” Glynda grimaced. Ozpin had been furious when his hot chocolate had been poisoned. At least, he claimed it was poison. Glynda only noticed it was very sour. Not the first prank someone played on Ozpin, but definitely the most horrifying. “In any case, what have you been doing lately?”
“Ah, mostly a bit of reconnecting with family.” Qrow shrugged. “Not just Ruby and Yang, of course. Taiyang and even Raven, though…” He hadn’t had to kill anyone during his visit with Raven, but it had been a close thing. “I’ve been as active as I can be, I think.” Granted, a great deal of his time had been taken up figuring out a way to consume Grimm, but still . Even if he only managed to get a few leaves worth of biomass from the things, they were just so interesting . Who knew what skills he could pick up from them?
“You’ve been doing more than anyone expected.” Glynda hummed softly. “You’re visiting Menagerie tomorrow, aren’t you?”
“Yeah, I’ve got a bit of business to do.” Qrow shrugged. “Mostly involving one of our students and some… former problems. Nothing too serious, but I definitely needed to talk to her parents.” Blake, to his knowledge, had not visited her parents in some time, so pushing that now would probably help a great deal. If she hadn’t already killed Adam, he’d do that, too. “I’m mostly worried about someone trying to take revenge on her for her past.” Technically the truth, but only in a very… twisted definition. He knew, without a doubt, that she’d handle anyone who was actually loyal to Adam, but he’d rather just nip that in the bud. Besides, if Blake killed them, he wouldn’t get the biomass.
Glynda was about to say something, only for her scroll to ding. “I swear, if this is about Cardin again…” She grumbled, pulling out to check what it was. “...Huh.”
“Is… that a good huh or a bad huh?”
“Someone set the entire forge on fire.” Glynda just stared at her screen for a moment.
“Isn’t the forge designed to be entirely fireproof? To the point where Amber couldn’t melt it?” Qrow blinked, bewildered.
“Yes.” Glynda closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “I have to go deal with… whatever caused this.”
“Of course. No worries, we can pick this up some other time.” Qrow chuckled, glad he didn’t have to deal with that kind of stuff. Even if he could , doing so would reveal his rather inhuman nature, which he really didn’t want to do until Salem was dealt with, at minimum. “Go save the idiots, just don’t be too hard on them.”
Flying as a crow was always a very strange feeling. While he still didn’t quite understand the magic behind it, whatever Ozpin did gave him the instincts and behavior of a crow, but allowed him to keep his human intelligence and control. In other words, he could abuse what he knew about physics to fly faster . Sure, his normal form couldn’t really fly, but it could glide , and that often ended up faster than his crow form, even if it was unsustainable long term.
In any case, it made flying to Menagerie take only an hour , where it would normally take a week long trip by boat. Breaking the sound barrier was fun . Now if only he could break the light barrier…
Qrow softly landed in a secluded alley, shifting back into his human form.
“What the fuck .” A deer faunus stared at him in utter disbelief, the only person who saw him.
Qrow stared at the faunus for a moment, before shifting his form to match the faunus. “No one will ever believe you.” He grinned as his body shifted back to normal, fleeing the alleyway with a laugh.
Was it dumb? Sure, but it was funny . No one would believe him, either. A crow becoming a person who then became a replica of the only person to see him? Sure, semblances were weird , but not that weird.
…Except the Schnee family, but they were just all weird.
“Now, let’s get this family reunion going properly…” Qrow hummed, hands in his pockets. Despite very obviously not being a faunus, no one looked at him in any suspicious or concerned way. If anything, a few of the kids he saw looked awed . It was… nice, having a reputation like that. Sure, he was mostly known by his friends as an alcoholic loner, but to the public at large? He was one of the best huntsmen in the world. Course, now he was the best , not that he could really reveal that quite yet. Blacklight was… broken.
He’d be the best, too, until his four students graduated, at the very least. Whether or not he’d be the best after… well, they’d find out one day.
It wasn’t too hard to find the Belladonna home. For one, it was fucking massive , at least compared to what Qrow was used to. More importantly, it was very obviously the ‘leader’ building. Qrow sighed, scratching the back of his head. He had time, but he definitely wanted to get this over with. He had a hot goth milf to seduce.
That alluring thought in mind, Qrow casually knocked on the door to the family home, hoping they’d at least respond… fairly. He wasn’t sure how they’d react to Blake murdering Adam and not even bothering to call, but still. He’d rather be on good terms with Blake’s parents.
Very good terms, if he was lucky.
“Coming, coming! Who is i-” the person to answer the door was the absolute giant of a man known as Ghira Belladonna, chieftain of Menagerie, ex-leader of the White Fang, currently the most likely person on the island to be elected king if it ever came down to popular vote. “You… have come a long way, Huntsman. What brings you to my doorstep?”
Qrow couldn’t help but stare for a moment, not long enough to be awkward, but… damn this was a big dude. He’d always considered himself ‘dilf’ adjacent, even if he might not be a father, but this was the dilf archetype. “I’m Qrow Branwen. A teacher at Beacon. I’ve come to discuss your daughter and some… concerns I have.” Hopefully that wouldn’t be seen as threatening, but given how relaxed Qrow was, Ghira would most likely react with mild suspicion rather than hostility.
…Though Qrow wouldn’t be opposed to Ghira deciding to pin him down and-
“My daughter- you have news of Blake!? How is she? Is she alright? Where has she been all these years!?” Ghira immediately grabbed Qrow by the shoulders, holding him tightly enough that it would have been painful for most normal people and almost shaking him out of sheer excitement. “And why hasn’t she called home!? It’s that Adam boy, isn’t it!? He’s always been a bad influence on people, but if he’s put his hands on my daughter-!”
“Easy there.” Qrow chuckled. “Blake’s fine, she’s doing alright. She recently joined Beacon, but… do you mind if I come in? I don’t think I should discuss this so publicly.” God damn Ghira was doing things to him. He wasn’t a homewrecker, but god he wanted to be involved in a Belladonna sandwich right now. It helped that Ghira’s clear concern for his daughter was… cute? Endearing, if nothing else. Qrow certainly understood the feeling, at least. Yang’s exploits would have given him gray hair if he weren’t already technically insane.
“I- yes. Of course. You’d better come in,” Ghira nodded slowly, then led the way into the foyer with awkward steps. He cleared his throat, showing the way to the table where they could sit. “Apologies for the rough handling, Mister Branwen, it’s just… it’s been five years… Blake was so young when she left, I thought we might never hear of her again…”
“I understand, more than you’d think.” Qrow murmured, following behind Ghira. “And it’s just Qrow, please. Is your wife here as well? I imagine you’d both like the explanation.” That, and he hated repeating himself. Whether that came from Qrow, or one of his other selves, he wasn’t sure. Patience hadn’t been a strong suit for any of them.
“Yes- she is. Kali! We have a guest! He has news about Blake!” Ghira called out, and the immediate response was-
“WHERE!?”
Rather enthusiastic.
Kali all but sprinted into the room from what seemed to be all the way across the house, skidding to a halt in front of Qrow with heaving pants and an almost crazed look in her eyes. “Where is our daughter!?”
Qrow’s eyes widened, momentarily taken aback at the sight of Kali. God damn , maybe the Belladonna family was catnip to Branwens… “Ah, let me assure you she is safe and happy, firstly. She’s joined Beacon recently, where I teach. I had hoped she would reach out on her own, but… I think she may believe she disappointed you, and wants to avoid the confrontation. I’m not an expert at this by any means, but I did want to check in to at least make sure you were aware of her situation.” Qrow paused, realizing how that might sound. “Not to say she is in any sort of trouble. Ozpin is many things, but he is a believer in second chances. More importantly, despite being part of Adam’s sect of the White Fang, she has not been implicated in any crimes that go beyond his ability to overlook.” Theft and property damage were one thing, but intentionally endangering lives for no reason? Well, even Ozpin had limits. Qrow’s just happened to be… looser. Mostly.
“That’s a relief,” Ghira and Kali both seemed to deflate a little at Qrow’s words, losing much of the tension in their shoulders and sighing in relief almost simultaneously. Still, they seemed to remember themselves a moment later, and they sat down at the table, Kali serving tea for the three of them and arranging some of the seating cushions. Ghira, meanwhile, cleared his throat. “So… what situation is Blake… in… right now?”
Qrow, taking a seat on the opposite side of the duo, chuckled. “Yes, she’s doing quite well. Now, I must confess I witnessed her kill Adam herself, but… given the situation, she was entirely within her rights to do so. No charges, nothing of the sort. However, I did have some concerns that others may seek revenge. I don’t pretend to know the inner workings of the White Fang, but… well, no matter how justified, some will view it as a betrayal.” Qrow hummed, thinking about how to word what he needed to say. “Officially, I do not have a way to give you two permission to come to Beacon yourself. That said, Ozpin wouldn’t deny any such request, should you desire it. My main concern right now is that Blake has isolated herself from you, likely out of a fear of rejection. While it’s obvious now that such a thing is unlikely… teenagers have a way of convincing themselves of the worst.” He certainly had been that way. “So! While I know you two are undoubtedly busy and tied up in red tape, I did want you two to have the chance to see your daughter in person again, or at least talk with her directly. As I said, she’s happy and safe, and excelling at school. In general, there are only four in the school who might beat her.” He wasn’t lying, but he didn’t clarify that he included the teachers in that list. Even Ozpin… Well, Vergil was busted .
“I-” Ghira… didn’t seem like he knew what to say, just having a dumbfounded expression on his face. “Blake… killed Adam? Wh- how? Why!?”
“Good riddance, honestly,” Kali snorted, crossing her arms. “I told you he was bad news, Ghira. I always got such creepy vibes from him, even before he took over his own branch of the Fang. Sienna will need to hear about this, though… even if neither of us are currently on good terms with her…”
“Adam was showing very clear signs of infatuation with Blake. Given his age, and hers…” Qrow grimaced, not really wanting to explain it, but knowing they had the right to at least know. “In any case, he was also about to kill a lot of innocent people before she stepped in. I tend to operate as a scout for Ozpin sometimes, so I was nearby when it happened, and had she not, I would have. That said, talking with Sienna might be the best bet. As it stands, if he had succeeded, he would have only worsened tensions and likely made the White Fang an even bigger target for idiots like Ironwood or Jacques .” Despite himself, he couldn’t contain his disgust at that man’s name. Seriously, what kind of pretentious fuck named a kid Jacques ? Just call him Jack!
Qrow paused, letting that sink in for a moment, before sighing. “In that regard, I am also aware that the Vale branch of the White Fang has been… pacified. I don’t know the details, but they’ve improved relations remarkably well.” Only a half lie. He knew exactly why they’d been acting different, but he wasn’t about to out his precious pseudo-daughter.
“I can only hope that means that they’ve found a more sensible leader…” Ghira spoke almost dizzily, trying to keep up with everything that Qrow had said. “I- I don’t like that she killed a man but-”
“He was twenty by the time Blake joined his branch. If he had actually been trying to…” Kali shuddered, then clenched her fist. “If Blake hadn’t killed him, I would have, pacifism be damned! I’d die before I let my daughter get preyed upon by a predator like him!”
“Like I said, both legally and morally, she was entirely within her rights.” Well, maybe not legally, but he wasn’t exactly going to report it. “I didn’t intend to worry you, my apologies. It’s an unfortunate truth that being a huntsman comes with this inevitable duty to eliminate those like Adam. As I’ve come to understand it, he was operating far more like my… mother, than any of the other branches of the White Fang.” Qrow grimaced. For all that Raven was a shit mother, and a shit person, she had nothing on the previous leader of the Branwens. There had been a lot of reasons the two ran away, but a majority of them started with her. “She has gone through a… I’m not sure how to put it, given how extremely rare it is, but let’s call it an evolution of her semblance, for simplicity’s sake. She’s a bit different than she was, but as I did not know her previously, I can’t really say how.” Qrow paused. “Given the time back at Beacon… If you’d like, I can try a video call with her now.”
“That would be wonderful, yes. Please, I want to see my little girl again,” Ghira nodded, clutching onto Kali as they both leaned forward and beseeched Qrow with pleading eyes. “It’s been so long…”
“O-of course.” Qrow coughed, standing up so he could move to where the scroll would show all three of them. “Her team is typically still awake at this time, so it won’t be a problem.” He honestly wasn’t sure if any of them actually slept the normal eight hours. He tended to avoid anything to do with their room, because he did not need to see either of his precious nieces get wrecked by their teammates. Qrow pulled up his list, dutifully ignoring the “Salem” area which he was definitely going to get filled in, scrolling down to Blake’s name. “Here we go!” The scroll began ringing, a surprisingly tense feeling in the air.
Brrrrrrrring. Brrrrrrrrrrrrring. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrring-
Click.
“... Hello…? Qrow? What’re you doing calling at this hour? It’s like… almost eleven,” Blake’s voice rang out from the scroll, and her face popped up a moment later, a rather old looking hoodie hastily pulled over her torso. “Also, who changed my frickin’ ringtone for you? I didn’t even know Three Days Grace existed here…”
“I swear, if Yang changed it to Animal I’ve Become…” Qrow grumbled, shaking his head as he heard Yang tiredly laugh and resolved to not ask any questions he didn’t want the answers to . “Anyway, I got a surprise for you!” He leaned the scroll down more so Ghira and Kali were visible, next to him.
“MOM!? DAD!?” Blake squeaked, visibly waking up all of a sudden at the sight of her parents. “Oh god what the fuck Qrow!? Why are you with my parents!?”
She paused, a look of horror on her face. “Oh gods please don’t tell me you’re trying to seduce my parents-!?”
“Young lady, language!” Ghira immediately spluttered, blushing at the insinuations that Blake was throwing out. “That’s- that is not why he’s here!” Qrow pointedly did not correct him.
“He was just telling us how you were doing,” Kali spoke up next, leaning forward slightly. “Are you doing alright, dear? Eating enough? Sleeping well? Are you making friends? Oh, how is Ilia doing? A-and why haven’t you called!? We were so worried!”
Blake blanched, ears tilting back and eyes darting away. “I- um. I… meant to call. But I um… got… distracted…? A-and I was scared of… letting you down. A-and I didn’t want… Adam… to interfere. I’m… sorry it took so long. I didn’t… really know how to start the conversation.”
“It’s okay, honey. We’re just happy to know you’re safe,” Ghira smiled softly, shaking his head. “You look healthy. And happy. That’s good- that’s all we can ask.”
“Well, I’d like to ask if she’s moved on from Adam too,” Kali pointed out. “You were infatuated with him when you were eleven, weren’t you? But then Qrow told us that you killed him…”
“He… turned out to be a lot worse in person than he looked on posters designed to appeal to preteen girls,” Blake shrugged, not really sure what to say. “I mean, constantly preying on weaker girls, going after the youngest recruits, killing innocent people…”
She paused, clearly not telling the whole truth about what they got up to over the last five years, but otherwise giving nothing else away. “It was… hard… but… it was the only option. There was a train full of people that he just wanted to destroy, and destroying those tracks would have starved Vale’s rail shipments for weeks, if not months … And that would have gotten all of us wiped out by… well…”
Blake cleared her throat, then shifted out of frame and started patting the blanket lump behind her. “Yang, come meet my parents… a-and put on a shirt first. No- an actual shirt, you’re covered in hi- er, wait I shouldn’t say.”
Ghira and Kali just stared at the scroll for a long moment, slow and terrible realization dawning on their faces when the light from the scroll caught the golden collar around Blake’s neck. Ghira was the first to react, leaning forward and taking a deep breath. “Blake Belladonna… did you get engaged!? And you didn’t call to let us know!?”
“I was busy!” Blake whined, ears going flat against her head. “There’s a lot going on here at Beacon, I forgot!”
“Is she nice?” Kali asked, squinting and craning her neck to try and see the person behind Blake. “Yang, you said her name was? Does she treat you right?”
Qrow blinked, mildly surprised. He’d intentionally avoided spying on anywhere remotely close to Yang or her team, mostly to avoid seeing anything… extreme. “Huh, didn’t realize you two were that close already. Wait, here you are complaining about me trying to seduce your parents and you’re seducing my niece?!” How was that fair?!
“Nieces,” Blake corrected, then froze up like a deer in headlights. “Wait shit I mean- uh- Yang take the scroll!”
“Haah?” Yang let out a sound of confusion as the scroll flopped against her, landing on something that gave the three of them a perfect view of the underside of her face, before noticing it and picking it up. Notably, she was wearing a shirt two sizes smaller than she should have been, that probably belonged to Blake. “Oh. Uh. Hi?” She hesitantly smiled, tilting her head as she looked back over at Blake. “I don’t actually know what to say to your parents, or Uncle Qrow. Help?”
“Uh- hi?” Kali was the first to interject, waving at Yang through the camera. “You must be… Yang?”
“I am she, yes.” Yang nodded, a little dumbly, and was more responding out of nerves than an actual desire to speak like that. Let alone make an ass of herself on call.
“You’re so pretty, I can see why Blake fell for you!” Kali immediately smiled, looking like all sunshine and rainbows. “She’s always had a thing for blondes, I recall… though, then again, she always seemed very taken with anyone she thought was strong or cool or particularly handsome… is she still like that? Oh, how did you two meet, anyway? I’m sure it must have been very romantic! Blake’s always been quite fond of those stories too, perfect meetings and love at first sight… she gets it from her father!”
“Kali…” Ghira whined a little, looking away. “Don’t embarrass me in front of our daughter’s fiancee! I’ll look like I’m… uncool!”
“I mean you’re active in your daughter’s life and make sure she knows you love her, so you’re already doing pretty great in the parent department compared to…” Yang slowly cut herself off, and then cleared her throat. “Uncle Qrow’s been basically the only fully stable figure in mine and Ruby’s life. Dad’s not there, Mom’s… dead. And then birth mom’s hiding in the forests as a bandit queen cause she’s a p-retty horrible parent.” It was very clear Yang was going to call her something else, but she deflected that by giving Kali and Ghira a goofy grin. “So I’d say you’re doing pretty great. Being a good dad’s pretty cool!”
“I-” Ghira hummed, looking at Kali. The two of them shared a meaningful look for a moment, as if they were actually conversing silently. “Thank you, Miss…?”
“Oh, Yang Xiao-Long!” Yang cheerfully hummed, and then shifted in place. “As for how I met Blake… Uh… Me and Ruby met her while we were coming to Beacon, actually. She was definitely in love at first sight with something…” She gave a goofy smirk as she looked off camera, assuredly at Blake. “Didn’t you?”
“You’re a seven foot tall dragon woman with biceps bigger than my thighs,” Blake’s voice came from off-camera, flat and deadpan. “What was I supposed to do, not want you to kiss me?”
“I’m learning so many things I’d rather not.” Qrow shook his head, chuckling. “Though, nice to know your family does the ‘love at first sight’ thing. Always cute.” He meant it, too, even if he was mostly saying that because he really wanted that Belladonna sandwich.
“Seven feet tall and buff, huh?” Ghira raised an eyebrow, then slooooooowly turned to Kali. “Gee. I wonder where Blake gets that from.”
“Oh stop it, you lout,” Kali giggled, smacking Ghira on the shoulder. “It’s a romantic story! And she’s so polite too! Oh- how is Blake, by the way? How’s your relationship with our daughter, Yang?”
“Uuuuh…” Yang suddenly looked nervous.
“We’re getting married and I’m not taking no for an answer!” Blake shouted, still off screen. “She loves me and I love her! And she said it first!”
“Well, that answers a few things,” Ghira muttered, clearing his throat awkwardly. “Well. She certainly seems taken with you… it does seem like she’s doing well, then…”
“Our little black cat is growing up so fast,” Kali sighed, wiping a dramatic tear from her eye. “It seemed like just yesterday she was harping on about emo boybands and dark metal while drawing her OCs in her school notebooks…”
“No she still does that.” Yang immediately threw Blake under the bus with a grin, before turning and looking at what was definitely a grimacing Blake. “It’s cute! I told you this already!”
“It’s embarrassing! Those drawings aren’t supposed to see the light of day!” Blake shouted right back, visibly blushing now that she was on camera again. And also visibly not wearing pants beneath the oversized hoodie she had on. “Gah! You were never supposed to see those!”
“But you drew me! How could I not wanna look? You made me look awesome! And you put a lot of detail into that sketch you did of my Leg Point too! Lots of detail…” Yang mumbled with a very wide grin on her face as she teased Blake. “Now, c’mere and help me talk to your parents because I feel like I’m about to drown in a panic attack made of parental care.”
“How do you think I feel!? I’ve got five years of news to catch them up on!” Blake protested, shaking her head like the coward she was. “Absolutely not! No way! No how! I’ll text them on my own terms, but not like this! Not literally right after we got done boniiiii- oh god ignore that! Ignore literally all of that!”
Ghira and Kali could have been statues for how still they were sitting, completely frozen in response to the revelation that their daughter had an apparently very active sex life now.
And then…
“So who tops?” Kali asked shamelessly, breaking out of her stupor and instead leaning forward with a sharklike grin, far too invested in the tea to really say anything else.
“Despite… everything, it’s Blake.” Yang mumbled in embarrassment, before blowing out a sigh.
“Really!? I always thought she would have ended up bottoming!” Kali gasped, laughing a little incredulously.
“Mom!? What the fuck!?”
“Language dear. And please, you can’t tell me you wouldn’t be a bottom, your first computer password was literally StepOnMe97! with more or less exclamation marks depending on which device you were using.”
“I gotta agree with Kali here, Yang bottoming sounds ridiculous. How the fuck , Yang?” Qrow shook his head. “You’re a seven foot tall dragon lady, and Blake makes you bottom?”
“I am… barely capable of service topping. So.” Blake looked away, as though she’d rather be literally anywhere else but here right now. “It works… even if we’re both technically bottoms.”
Clicking her tongue, Yang leant over and pressed a kiss against Blake’s cheek and then nodded solemnly. “Babe? I’m sorry for what I’m about to do.”
“... Yang what are you doing…?”
“So! Here’s how it goes. Your daughter is using demon magic to try and put a baby in me, or multiple, I’m down with that, the reason she tops and not me is because I turn into a fucking puddle the second someone can push me further than foreplay, AND if I get her horny enough she turns into a fucking lawnmower in terms of sexual aggression.” Yang immediately admitted all of that, without any amount of shame, and more than a little pride, before capping it off with throwing an arm around Blake’s shoulder and smiling. “She’s also the best cook in the world, so much smarter than I am, and every time I hear her gush about something she’s interested in, the world kinda melts away until I get clingy and start trying to distract her. So! That’s how. Fuck you, Uncle Qrow.”
“This is how I die,” Blake wheezed, covering her face with her sleeves. “Dying of embarrassment because my wife wouldn’t stop talking about how we have sex to my parents.”
“I don’t think I needed to hear that much about my daughter’s sex life… but… it is clear that you two care for each other and that you’ll support each other from now on…” Ghira spoke slowly, clearing his throat and also looking like he’d rather be literally anywhere else right about now. “So… despite… all of that… you two have my blessing.”
“And mine!” Kali grinned, hugging Ghira’s arm. “Just make sure to call home more often, okay Blake? Five years is far too long!”
“I- yeah… okay… I’ll call more, mom.”
“Good!” Kali beamed, and Blake just stood there awkwardly pressing herself against Yang mostly out of sheer embarrassment.
“Well, as… fun as this conversation has been, I think I’m going to make myself a sandwich.” Qrow stared right at Blake, knowing she’d immediately understand what he was implying. Sure, Yang had been the one to say that horrific shit, but he’d already been with one of her parents, so he couldn’t really tease her the same way. “By the way, I visited your mother, Yang. She’s very interested in what you’ve been up to.”
“Running most of Vale as a crime lord and using my legitimate business ventures to invest into other cities and/or countries?” Yang asked cluelessly, even tilting her head?
“...No, the titty pics.” Qrow deadpanned. “Now for that sandwich…”
“QROW BRANWEN IF YOU SEDUCE MY PARENTS I SWEAR TO RUBY I’LL JUDGEMENT CUT YOUR NUTS O-” Blip.
Both Ghira and Kali stared at each other for a moment… then at Qrow. Then back at each other. Then back at Qrow. And then, Kali asked, “Soooo… Qrow… how do you feel about strap-ons?”
Qrow grinned widely.
Chapter 27: Beacon Days - Familial Expansion Discussions (Blake 7)
Chapter by CyberQueen_Jolyne, desolatedsabers
Chapter Text
“I think… that was the most embarrassing scroll call I’ve ever made in my life,” Blake grimaced, hiding her face in a pillow and looking like she wanted to just disappear entirely. “Oh gods, why did I say half of that!? And why did they act like they knew this kinda thing would happen!?”
“Because you’re kinda obvious?” Yang said back, not cruelly, but with more humor than the situation deserved. “C’mon, Blake. If it’s obvious to me, it’d be obvious to your parents. And hey, they actually kind of like me! That’s a first!” She had her best, most encouraged smile on her face for emphasis.
“They gave you their blessing, I think they like you more than just a little,” Blake pointed out, groaning and flicking her tail at Yang for emphasis. “I, meanwhile, have to deal with the fact that now my parents know way too much about our sex life. And that I’m trying to get you pregnant.”
“I think you trying to marry me made it a bit obvious, y’know?” The dragon woman deadpanned, before leaning in close to Blake’s body and cuddling up against her. “And besides, that’s better news than being chased around by a creepy mall ninja that’s like twenty five. Instead, you have a hot dragon girlfriend your age that loves you very much, that you wanna put a baby in. If I was still a parent, I’d prefer that outcome.”
“It is better… and I’m pretty glad I threw Adam under the train,” Blake nodded slowly, turning and shuffling a little so she could hold Yang’s head up against her chest. “You’d look great pregnant, not gonna lie. Still not… entirely sure I’ll ever be comfortable topping, but I’m gonna do my damndest to make sure you’re happy with it, at least.”
“You can put me on my back. If I wasn’t happy with that, you’d learn really quick.” Yang hummed, rubbing her head against her fiance's chest before letting out a sigh. “And I would look great pregnant. I’d be a big fucking ball, my titties would get bigger, I’d be nice and milky, my legs would probably get bigger…” She shivered, picturing many many things in her mind as her tail gently lashed about. “So many things.”
“So much to cuddle with,” Blake purred, running her fingers through Yang’s hair and almost unconsciously scritching at Yang’s scalp. “You’d be even more beautiful than you already look. It’ll be great. Just… do you want to wait until we graduate first? I’m not sure I’m ready for a kid, no matter how much I already want one…”
“Blake, babe?” Yang shifted her head up, even as she still made sure Blake’s hands were on her head. “I already told Ruby that when I hit eighteen she could put one in me, and I’m debating saying fuck it and letting it happen anyway before then. If I had a problem with being pregnant right now, I’d tell you. Instead, the idea of getting knocked up, by you, by Ruby, I don’t care who, leaves my body tingling. So no, I don’t really want to wait if you’re ready.”
With that, she leant in and snatched a quick kiss from her fiance, wrapping an arm around Blake and smirking with all of her usual charm. “And the idea of you knocking me up just to see me pregnant sounds pretty great, not gonna lie.”
“Mrghdsfhfsd…” Blake responded elegantly, trembling slightly and nuzzling against Yang about as much as she physically could. “I- I think I’m… not… ready yet, though. We’re still young and even if we’re also old souls… no part of me has ever raised a child before, and… I don’t know, it just feels wrong to try and get you pregnant when I’m…”
She sighed, trailing off and shaking her head. “The idea of getting you pregnant is really hot, but I’m also just… really, really scared I’ll fuck it up somehow. There’s a million and one ways raising a child could go horribly wrong and I’m self aware enough to know that I’m not good with kids.”
Saying that, though, she twitched and tilted her head with one ear perked. “Oh, I think Ozpin finally drank the Kaiju Blue I put in his hot chocolate.”
…
“... A-anyway, um…” Blake cleared her throat after that, looking back down at Yang. “... So yeah. That’s just… I wanna raise a family with you. I just… I don’t know if I’m ready yet even if you are. S-sorry.”
“I mean, I don’t think you could be a worse parent than I was as Kaido.” Yang hummed, sitting up and holding Blake’s face with a gentle smile. “Sure, I wasn’t the same as the other Kaido, but I wasn’t great. Very conflicting relationship there. And sure, there’s a million and one ways that raising a kid can go wrong. There’s a million and one ways anything can go wrong. That’s just… living. It’s normal, and natural to be scared, and that’s okay. But I wouldn’t have a kid if I didn’t have something in the works to make sure they were taken care of. Y’know?” She finished with a small tilt of her head, leaning into Blake’s personal space and rubbing their noses together.
And then she blinked and frowned. “Also you need to stop tormenting Ozpin. He doesn’t deserve your enhanced sour concoctions.”
The door… didn’t slam open. Because they still didn’t have one . Regardless, Ruby came through, slightly smoking. “Blake!” A tentacle zipped through the room to grab her ankle. “I need your feet!”
“Gweh!?” Blake yelped, flailing a little bit and looking at Ruby in surprise. “Wait I know I have a foot fetish, why do you need my feet, though!?”
“Too much talking, not enough doing.” Ruby was surprisingly gently as she examined Blake’s feet and ankles. “Hm. Strong, not as strong as Yang but there's… I used it for Crescent Rose… strong bones… do you know how long it takes you to heal microfractures? Wait, can you even get microfractures? Hmm… adjust the caliber then…”
“Uh- wh- I don’t get microfractures, no- wait caliber…?” Blake paused, furrowing her brow in confusion for a moment before perking up. “Are you making me gun shoes!?”
“Better!” Ruby gently rubbed Blake’s foot and promptly flopped her back onto Yang’s titties. “Gotta go! I need to rip out demon hearts!”
“Oh, hello.” Yang said with a mildly perplexed blink, before waving as Ruby rushed off. “Bye?”
“... Demon hea-” Blake stared off in the direction that Ruby went, quite concerned about that statement. “... Ooh I really hope Ruby remembers to close that door on the way in and out otherwise I’m gonna have to stab reality with Yamato again…”
“She usually remembers.” Yang said with a quiet hum, before using her hand to gently pull Blake further into her chest. “Where were we? I think we were talking about how you were scared of being a bad parent, even though even as Vergil you weren’t as bad as I was.”
“I literally ripped Nero’s arm off,” Blake deadpanned. “And stabbed him one… two…”
She huffed. “... Maybe a lot of times, during our fight. I tried to be supportive as V but… hard to be a parent when you’re literally falling apart into ash and stray nightmares and… loose pages of William Blake poetry.”
“You were dying, and then you were in a fight where he was doggedly determined to beat the motherfuck out of you. A couple stabbings ain’t that bad.” Yang waved a hand, shaking her head. “Like, you didn’t become a major control freak over his life, and he didn’t end up idolizing someone you killed, and then decided to overthrow you to finish that idiot’s life’s work, and then met up with a brazilian crackhead to be part of the eight hour fight of your life on the roof of Onigashima while you held it over the rest of Wano like a sword of Damocles. Not to mention everything else I did… I can say that the relationship was a bit better than it was with the other Kaido, but I still ended up trying to kill Yamato. Even if part of that was because he was actually making me sweat after the great big fight with Luffy, Zoro, and those other three assholes.”
She thought for a moment with a frown, before shrugging. “I didn’t know if he was actually… uh. Yamato’s identity was weird and I refused to entertain the idea of him changing his name to Oden. So we kind of fought about that in between bouts of Yamato being held in the Prisoner Mine cutting Seastone, or the few times he actually wanted me to train him with his Conqueror's Haki.”
“... I guess that is… technically worse than abandoning him for some twenty years and then… uh. Ripping his arm off and stabbing him a few times,” Blake huffed, shaking her head slowly and chuckling under her breath. “... Is it weird that I’m actually proud of Nero for learning how to parry even a Judgment Cut End with only a single one of his little Devil Breaker arms?”
“Sounds like something to be proud of.” Yang nodded, and then pointedly rubbed her side. “Yamato ended up carving out my kidneys in that last fight. Probably why I actually died, unlike the other Kaido. I was proud. Broke his legs in response, but he’d be back on his feet in a day or two, even without the Straw Hat’s doctor there. Shuron Hakke was a bit harder to use in that last fight… I wonder if he went along with that brat?”
“Maybe. I suppose we’ll never know…” Blake clenched her fist slowly, then huffed. “I still don’t remember my end as Vergil… the last thing in my memories is getting hit in the face so hard by Nero’s Red Queen that it punted me out of reality entirely. That said…”
She paused, clearing her throat one more time. “... If you think I’ll be able to make for a decent parent… I’ll give it a go. But… not yet. I’m still… I want to be a little more ready, first.”
“Y’know you never really feel ready, right?” Yang softly asked, but still nodded her head. She wouldn’t press the issue against Blake’s comfort.
“I know… but… Still,” Blake shrugged, pressing against Yang softly. “Not right now. I… wanna get a little more stable first. Get some feet under me… figure out what I wanna be more than just what my past lives have made me… Hell, I at least wanna get past the Vytal Festival first… maybe take out Salem along the way? Or… at least make the Grimm less of a problem.”
“Should do. Or at the very least, it’d take her longer to do something.” Yang huffed, before rolling over and pulling Blake onto her body. “So. When are we flying to Menagerie? I think I’d like to get to know your mom and dad better.” She paused, before snickering a laugh that rang a bell of doom. “Maybe they already bought baby clothes…”
“I-I… oh god please don’t joke about that, I’d panic so hard,” Blake whimpered, burying her face in Yang’s boobs to shield herself from the thought of her parents thinking that far ahead… up until the moment a worse thought entered her mind. “Aaaaaa nooo wait shit now I’m thinking about them giving us my old baby clothes! Fuck!”
“Oh but it’d be so cute, Blake. Imagine it. They’re so happy to find out they’re gonna be grandparents that they already assumed you’d managed it, so they gave us an entire suitcase of your old baby clothes. Clothes you swore got thrown out. But no, they were just hidden away until just such an occasion.” Yang chuckled as Blake tried to hide herself, bringing a hand over to rub Blake’s head. And then bringing her other hand over to rub Blake’s butt. “It would be hilarious.”
“It’d be mortifying,” Blake shuddered, thinking about all of the baby clothes she’d thought she’d long since donated elsewhere. “Half of my old clothes aren’t even fit to wear anyway… Hm. Dammit, I just realized how much of my life I spent on picket lines and peaceful protests and still lost a lot of shirts and pants to tear gas and pepper spray, even though those protests were legal.”
Blake frowned, losing her false sense of disgust for something a little quieter and more… sad. “... Did you ever hear of that one protest in Mantle eight years ago? Middle of what passes as summer up there… they called it the Coppertown Massacre, sensationalized it in the news. I was there…”
After a moment, though, she shook her head and grimaced. “Ugh, sorry about bringing down the mood. Just… realizing that as much shit as I’ve been through in two other lives, I keep forgetting how much shit I’ve seen in this life too.”
“I remember.” Yang quietly hummed. “I ever tell you I visited Mantle when my powers first came in? Not my Semblance, but… this.” She gestured to herself. Just… all of herself.
“No, I don’t… think you’ve told me…” Blake murmured right back, rubbing her eyes softly. “What happened there?”
Yang stayed quiet for a moment, before she picked up her scroll off the bedside table. “You might remember, if you got news from Mantle, or Atlas… Ugh, fuck it. I pulled a Kaido. Visited Mantle, got pissed off, wrecked… a lot of places. Military had to be called. Busted them up too. Transformed. Left. Now Atlas is terrified if I enter their air space at any point, because their guns just bounce off. Here, little news section if you don’t remember.” She pressed something on her scroll, showing a full newspaper site and holding it for Blake to take. “They called it something stupid, said it was in revenge for… well…”
“Golden Dragon’s Rampage, said to be in revenge for the SDC Southwestern Mine Collapse…” Blake whispered, only barely looking at the news article on Yang’s scroll. “I wasn’t there for that, but I remember the aftermath. No one could figure out if it was some kind of weird Grimm or not, some people thought it was the return of the ancient Gods…”
She shook her head after a moment, chuckling softly. “Was it actually in revenge for the mine collapse? I can’t imagine you’d have known about it beforehand…”
“Started out I just hated assholes spitting at me.” Yang quietly admitted. “Began properly when I kicked a guy in half. He was swinging at a Faunus girl. Probably fifteen. Maybe younger. So I swung him into intensive care. News came in… I was there to see Coppertown. I didn’t remember seeing that, before, when the news came in. Reminded me of… thought it was a cult thing. Like Tulsa. Or Jonestown. Got the rundown from an older lady. Said she watched. Saw all of it. Lost her son. Lost her daughter too. Asked me to find an asshole, guy that ordered the soldiers to start firing at ‘dissidents and rebels’. Asked me to leave him broken and crawling for her to finish off.”
Letting out a sigh, she blew a small puff of flame into the air even as she grimly smiled. “Fighting started after that. I took out so many of their stupid airships.”
“So that’s what put Major General Titus Anium in the morgue before we could get to him,” Blake smiled, pressing a kiss to Yang’s collarbone. “Good job. Though, obviously, the Fang would have preferred a public execution.”
“It became real public, real quick. Old lady asked someone to record it. Had a whole speech. Probably didn’t make it into the news, but it got plastered all over Mantle. All those cameras. Probably got uploaded somewhere on the net.” Yang shifted, giving Blake a gentle squeeze. “I was an Oni that day. Born of revenge. Onryo. Blocked out color when I walked through the soldiers. I think it’s a lot less noble than it sounds. Old lady fed me and asked a favor. Didn’t expect me to be able to do it, just wishful thinking. But, her pork buns were delicious, and I had nothing but time. There were a lot of different news pieces. I framed some of them, hid them in my desk back home on Patch. Hope she got out, along with her friends. Don’t know if they were White Fang or not. But once I transformed, started making tornados, I stopped really thinking.”
Snorting, she shook her head. “General was pathetic, anyway. Orochi would at least attack someone for revenge. He didn’t even try before I crushed his bones with Hassaikai.”
She was quiet again, contemplative, before she laid back. “Some of that embezzlement money you found goes to her. Opened her a bank account. Don’t know if she’s still alive. Sent letters. Haven’t gotten a response. Hope she is. She was fun.”
“I sure hope so…” Blake murmured, then chuckled softly. “You did a good thing, Yang. That bastard had a long history of trying to completely gut Faunus rights in Mantle and Atlas. Firing on peaceful protestors, trying to get any bills involving Faunus rights vetoed or outright repealed… He wasn’t the only one in the military there, but he was by far the worst and most public about it. Either way… just… yeah. I don’t know where this conversation is going anymore, do you?”
“Talking about the past. Past lives. Past actions. Holding each other as we just talk.” Yang quietly mumbled, squeezing Blake’s body more out of stimming then actual desire. “I started my company mostly to have a decent amount of money at first. Selling energy drinks, resource kits, second hand weapon parts. Organized crime was separate. Did that through Junior, after I helped him kill his father. Didn’t end up mixing it until I recruited Roman, and Neo by extension. Did it to keep him from dying to the Nevermore. Keep Neo from going insane and trying to fight Ruby. Mostly wanted to recruit Neo as a Headliner, maybe a Tobiroppo if she was strong enough. Didn’t expect Roman to have a hand for the theatrics of white collar crime, but I needed someone to balance my books while I couldn’t step away for a bit. I was forcing the market open myself when Mestly tried to shut us down. I wouldn’t cave to them trying to buy it, because we were more than just a beverage company, they tried to send people to ‘encourage me’ to do it. I sent them back their bodies in gelatin molds. Didn’t hear anything since. But I had him do it again when I stepped out. Soon enough, he found he had a flare for it. He’d admit everything he did in board meetings, goad other company heads to try and get him kicked out. They applauded him for managing to do it, and then went to figure out their own ways to one up him. It’s funny how similar to a normal gang higher level board meetings like that are.”
She huffed, bringing her tail to lay over Blake’s body. “I dunno if I’d call the things I do good things. I don’t actively make the world worse, I guess, but I sure as hell don’t fix it. People say I’m progressive because I don’t care if I have Faunus working higher level jobs, but if they can do the job I don’t care if they’re Faunus, or human, or if they have three heads, or if they’re Grimm. I just need the job done.”
“Better than most,” Blake snorted. “And you’re doing good enough for me.”
She paused, then chuckled lightly. “And now I’m the one telling you that you’re better than you think you are. Heh… Oh how the turns table, huh?”
“You hush.” Yang pouted back. “You are better than your depression tells you that you are. I, meanwhile, run a criminal enterprise with crooks from top to bottom mixing with my normal businesses, and I encased people in a gelatin mold after cutting them apart and mailed it to assholes trying to threaten my business. Just because I’ll take anyone that needs a job doesn’t make me good. Just means I want bodies on the ground.”
“Yang, I’m an international terrorist,” Blake deadpanned. “Literally, wanted international terrorist with a bounty on my name in at least six different crime rings. I’ve mounted people’s heads on pikes. You don’t get to say you’re bad just because you work with criminals if I don’t get to say I’m bad for being a terrorist.”
“You want equality for your people and actively avoid killing innocents! You are literally a more moral criminal than I am!” Yang frowned back, pushing herself up to not-quite glare at Blake. “You’re called a terrorist because you blow up SDC property and they branded you that! You balked when Adam wanted to crash a train to cover your tracks, and you’re trying to be better! I’m just trying to not backslide into being Kaido and wanting a forever War.”
“Yeah, well… I say you’re fine, so there,” Blake huffed, crossing her arms and harrumphing with a cute little squeak of noise, ears flicking back and forth from her agitation. “Don’t talk shit about my wife, she’s perfect the way she is. And besides, just like I support Faunus rights, I totally support Women’s Wrongs.”
“Well-! …” Yang cut off, and then slowly frowned. “Well… mleh.”
“Weh,” Blake answered right back, bapping Yang right in the boob. “Accept that you’re not a bad person even if you’re still acting like Kaido in some ways. Can you do that for me, dearest~?”
“Don’t call me dearest…” Yang winced, shaking her head. “That’s not fair…”
“Then don’t beat yourself up for not being a perfect superhero type,” Blake huffed, flopping back down into Yang’s boobs after a moment and smiling. “You’re perfect for me, anyway. You and everyone else on Team RWBY, but you specifically. Because you’re the one who asked me to be your wife. Which…”
Blake trailed off, chuckling to herself. “It’s still really funny that you asked me that just because I brought you a whole slab of smoked mammoth.”
“You-! ...” Yang cut her shout off before sighing and wrapping her arms around Blake. “You don’t understand how hard it is to have enough food for me to feel full, without being in Inkopolis, or accidentally causing a famine in Vale. You went out of your way for me, in freezing cold weather that you’re not immune to… Of course I’d want you to be my wife when you’d do that for me.”
Blake purred, snuggling into Yang’s embrace happily. “I fall hard and fast, just like you do, and I hate the idea of people going hungry just because no one’s willing to feed them enough to feel full. The world has so much just out there… I figure someone might as well try to feed you what you need. It’s not like anyone else is willing to brave the deep wilds to get all those nearly mythical megafauna that can actually feed you effectively.”
“And you’re wondering why the fuck I want you to put a baby in me, regardless of whether we’re in school together or not.” Yang deadpanned back, despite her smile. “You’re already doing the traditional things a husband needs to do, put food on the table, keep their wife happy. And I own several houses. So we’re already more prepared than most parents.”
“That’s true…” Blake took a deep breath, letting it out through her nose before pushing herself up slightly and staring Yang in the eyes. “Right… okay. Then… let’s get some practice in for when I do put a baby in you.”
And without another word, Blake swiftly transformed into her Devil Trigger state with a blaze of violet flames and crackling lightning, the same time as a portal formed over the empty doorway to block any escaping sound. “Shall we have some fun~?”
Yang opened and closed her mouth with a wide-eyed expression, before she swiftly threw off her outfit, letting it land on the ground, and then nodded quickly. “Mhmm. S-sounds good…”
“Then…”
Blake grabbed Yang’s thighs, grinning through the fangs of her demonic form.
“Here we go!”
Chapter 28: Beacon Days- Day Trip to The Place That Normally Kills People (Weiss 7)
Chapter by InternecionWitch, The_Mad_Mystic
Chapter Text
Weiss was lounging on top of one of Beacon's many towers. She wasn’t entirely sure why Beacon had so many towers, probably Ozpin being a dramatic bitch like usual, but she wasn’t complaining, they were incredibly cool.
She had to get out of the dorm room after the second hand embarrassment of hearing Yang confess her and Blake’s sex lives to her parents. And apparently Qrow was there, which was weird but, whatever. Although speaking of crows, there seemed to be one flying by.
Except, as soon as it looked down and saw Weiss, the crow dove straight down , slamming into the ground more like a torpedo than a bird. The bird splashed on the ground, before the newly liquid bird shifted into the human form of Qrow. “Hello Weiss.”
…Ozpin wasn’t the only dramatic bitch, it seemed.
“Was that really necessary?” Weiss criticized. “Cool entrance though, nine out of ten landing. The part where you dissolved into a mass of flesh and reformed was cool.” Weiss paused, considering her next words. “Although I’m not exactly sure how the fuck you did that.” Did Blake forget to tell her something? Or just not tell her something?
“It’s absolutely necessary. Not like you wouldn’t do it if you could.” Qrow chuckled. “And I did it the same way Blake does her… things. Or Yang and her stuff. I’d say Ruby, too, but I’m pretty sure she’s just like that, dimensional shenanigans aside.” He couldn’t really be sure, since she was already weird before any of the others, but there was definitely something there. “Anyway, while the others are away, wanna go on an adventure to The Forbidden Continent? I’ve got something I want to do.”
“The Forbidden Continent? The one so full of Grimm that when nearly anyone tries to go to it they near instantly get shredded by a mass of Grimm? That one?” Weiss sarcastically listed. “Yeah sure, it could be fun.” She deadpanned. “Not like we’re normal people anyway.”
Although come to think of it… “Wait, if there's no one there, what exactly do you want to do there?” There weren't a lot of options. Unless he just wanted to go kill a lot of Grimm. Which was honestly fair.
“Exactly! Normal Grimm are so boring, I wanna go kill a dragon or something.” And try to consume it, but that was a surprise for later. “Also maybe kill Tyrian? Most importantly, though.” Qrow suddenly turned serious, his face hardening in a resolve unlike his usual laidback self. “Goth Milf.”
“We have to leave immediately.” Weiss shot up, instantly ready to go along. Goth Milfs were extremely important. “Just one problem, how are we going to get there? Everyone else on the team can teleport or in Yang's case, fly.” Which she wasn’t slightly jealous of. Despite having wings.
Qrow grinned, his form rippling as it shifted into a very not human shape, similar to Yang’s transformations, but less… gentle. Rather than becoming a giant dragon girl with absurdly large tits, Qrow became more animalistic, closer to a Grimm than whatever bullshit Yang was supposed to be. Large wings sprouted from his back, a tribute to his most recent hunts. Despite the animalistic appearance, Qrow still spoke just as calmly as he normally did. “Are you ready to see the world as only a Dovah can?”
“Geh.” Weiss nodded, replying in Dovahzhul, like a fucking nerd. “But if you drop me I will tear you to pieces.” She really needed to figure out summoning. Cannon Weiss was really underestimating how hard it was. She wanted to ride a Nevermore into combat!
“I installed a handlebar.” Qrow chuckled. “Perks of my body being less an actual body and more like a giant cluster of single celled organisms that can easily and painlessly shift at my will.” Qrow paused for a moment, realizing something. “Don’t tell any of your team about this. I’mma scare the shit out of them.” How would they react to a dragon suddenly appearing, mutated as he looked? Sure, they’d probably immediately go for violence, but it’d be funny .
Unbeknownst to the two absolute lunatics, Ozpin had been staring at them through his window the entire time. Ozpin glanced down at his drink, then back at the duo.
He immediately chugged the rest. “This must be that good shit.”
…
And then he immediately vomited a horrid tide of sugary brown and toxic blue, clutching his stomach and wheezing as the sheer sour slammed into his internal organs like a literal bomb. “Hrngkh- nevermind!”
“Who keeps putting near lethal concentrations of citric acid in your drinks…?” Glynda muttered, staring at Ozpin in something approaching mute horror.
“I don’t know, but when I find out who did it, I am giving them a very stern talking to,” Ozpin hissed, laying on the ground before flinging his ruined mug across the room and letting it shatter against the wall.
Weiss suddenly felt a pang in her chest, a burst of empathy, as if someone else had just suffered because of the Unholy Chug Jug Blake created. She shook her head, it was probably nothing. “Welp, ready to go?” She asked the biological nightmare in front of her.
Qrow, rather than respond like a reasonable person, flapped his wings eagerly. “ I was made for this .” He doubted she’d get the admittedly vague reference, but it was, for him at least, memorable. Not quite the shit he’d said later on, but still. “Anyway, just be careful. I dunno how durable you are, but we’ll be going fast .” Not quite his fastest, given his size at the moment, but definitely faster than a vehicle, if nothing else.
“I’m a cyborg that can regenerate, even if I do get hurt I’ll be fine.” Blake was really good about getting Weiss a healthy amount of Red Orbs after all. “And honestly I’m kind of curious how fast you can go.” She grabbed hold of Qrow’s handlebar, which was incredibly weird but she was just going to try very hard not to think of it. (It wasn’t working.)
“So am I! I’ve never flown in this form before.” Qrow didn’t give her a chance to let that sink in before he flapped his wings and lifted off the ground, surprised at how similar and different it was from flying in his crow form. Square cube law and aviation were both bitches . His bitches, now. “Still need to figure out some kind of fire breathing, but this is too cool to be disappointed right now.” Qrow admittedly, his voice managing to overcome the sound of the rushing wind as he flew towards Salem’s castle.
“Everything's better with fire breathing.” Weiss sagely agreed, her voice barely managing to cut through the wind. “Flying is really cool. I’m stupidly jealous right now…” Weiss paused to consider. There was a magic way to get fire breath and flight… Thoughts for later. Definitely not next to a member of a conspiracy that was supposed to protect them.
“You literally have robot wings.” Qrow snorted, as he picked up speed even more . “I have to transform to fly, you can just do it as a human.” Though he was going to find some kind of work-around for that. “Anyway, Yang or Ruby could probably help with mastering that. Probably.” He still wasn’t sure what was up with Ruby, but she clearly was other , so…
“Yes, with robot wings you’d think I’d be able to fly. But noooo~. Schnee R&D built a system to negate inertia and create a temporary burst of momentum and shaped it like wings, instead of just actually making wings.” Weiss groaned, throwing just one of her hands up because the other had to actually hold on. “I can dive through the air pretty fast though at least, especially when I start throwing Glyphs in.”
Qrow paused, wondering what kind of absolutely stupid R&D team could be responsible-oh, right. Schnee. “Makes sense. Might see if Peitro can help, then. I think Penny was able to fly?” He didn’t really remember it that well, but Penny was certainly a unique person, and if anyone could make actual flight capable wings, it’d be Pietro. “So… Do I need to worry about an archangel coming down to fight you while also having more daddy issues than Mercury?”
Weiss snorted. “What's he going to do? Show up to play an Organ dramatically then die in forty two seconds to coins and a railgun?” She could honestly probably do it even faster if she wanted. But if Gabriel ever did show up she was going to punch him to death with a coin. Just because she could. “Honestly I think I have the daddy issues now though, my sperm donor is the world's richest oligarch”
“Oh, that’s what I keep forgetting to do.” Qrow hummed, surprised at his own forgetfulness. “Kill your dad. I was gonna do it a lot earlier, but when I realized all of us were… let’s just say not normal, I figured if you wanted to, you would have… Still gonna take over his company, though.”
Weiss sighed. “I didn’t realize I wasn’t the only one at first, and I tried to stick to the canon script as close as possible because, anxiety I guess. And then I gave up on that and punched him with a coin until he begged for mercy.” she smiled, reminiscing. That was a great time.
She took a deep breath, preparing to explain. “Ok so, we are going to kill him eventually. But, before we do, Yang’s going to become the controlling shareholder. It’ll really psychologically break him if we just show up to a board meeting and kill him there.” She hummed, considering something. “Although, if you wanna go bully him in the meantime feel free. Just don’t kill him without us.”
Qrow hummed, nodding along. “Alright, that works… Hey, do you think I can give Ironwood and Jacques aneurysms if I become one of the majority shareholders and actually show up to meetings? I wanna see the looks on their faces.” He’d have to deal with a few of the less savory investors, but that was easily done. It wasn’t exactly hard to impersonate people, for him.
Weiss gave him a sadistic grin. “I want to see the looks on their faces. Take pictures. Suggest a ball pit in the breakroom or something.” She snorted, imagining it. “And hey, the more stock the better, just keep in mind after we kill him it’ll probably freefall.”
“Not a problem. I’m already obscenely wealthy, at least by my standards.” After all, he could actually afford to buy a house! Imagine that. “Anyway, I know J-er. Blake is probably gonna end up killing or seducing Cinder, but what are your long term plans? I’ve already given mine away.”
Weiss paused to consider. Other than killing Jacques she didn’t really have any. Although… “Part of me kind of wants to get my hands on magic? Although there aren’t a lot of good options for that. Fall is kinda in a situation right now that I do not want to make even more complicated. Winter is…” Even she would feel bad about killing a very much not defenseless old lady. “We don’t actually know much about Summer other than she’s in Vacuo, maybe. Which means the only option is Spring. So I'd have to deal with your trash fire of a sister.”
“Gonna be honest, if I wasn’t her brother, I’d be dealing with her myself.” Qrow scoffed. “Figure Yang’s got the right to decide what happens there. But… well, Cinder’s a possibility, but I think you’re forgetting the big change we’ll be making.” Qrow’s grin turned absolutely feral . “Goth Milf Magic.”
“Goth Milf does have magic…” Weiss repeated, her grin turning equally feral. She’d have to somehow convince Salem to give it, but, well. The idea definitely had potential. “How are we going to convince her to give me some? I don’t think she’d exactly be willing to part with it.”
“I don’t think she loses it like Ozpin does? I guess we’ll find out! I’m already going to convince her to join my side.” Very notably, he did not say Ozpin’s side. After all, Ozpin was probably not onboard with the whole deicide plan.
“Who knows.” Weiss shrugged as The Forbidden Contient came into view on the horizon. “Guess we’re about to find out.”
Chapter 29: Beacon Days- Vermilion Drenched Gift (Ruby 7)
Chapter by Argo_The_Rat
Summary:
Ruby collects some things
Chapter Text
Roots cracked and rumbled. Leaves shook without any wind. The air tasted… purple.
“Why purple?” Ruby blinked and looked up at the massive tree that dominated the world. It didn’t answer, but that was expected. She’d never been all that good at speaking over long distances. Which was fine, they’d have a meetup after this. For right now, however, there was business. “Now where are you?”
The Ever After was… odd. It was much like Inkopolis, much like a Dream, in a way. Albeit… settled. Worn in. There were no more real changes to it. Everything worked how it worked and that was just how the Tree liked it. Which was fair enough. Things worked out pretty well, generally speaking.
In fact, the only thing that wasn’t working out well was one of the few things the Tree didn’t make. Which just proved more that the Brothers were actually really shit at their jobs. Like… Inkopolis was a fucking mess originally. Ruby had no idea how everything worked and only sort but not really had a physical body at all. Also trauma.
Soooo much trauma. Inkopolis was made the way it was because the only thing she could really remember was Yharnam, and that wasn’t the best place to think of when making a paradise. Nantai and Commander Tartar proved that one. Some might argue Splat Battles in their entirety was a larger bit of proof. What creator would want their creation to fight and die endlessly?
A sadistic one. Or a poor one. Neither of which Ruby wanted to have applied to her.
But… it was how Inkopolis was . Changing it now, to something softer, would feel… wrong. Terrible. Like her own skin was too small, too large, choking her organs, and flabby to the point of falling off. All at the same time. Probably had to do with how she was associated with Hunting.
“Whatever.” Silver eyes darted around. Searching for that one… “You!”
“Ghak!” The Curious Cat had not expected a hand to close around their neck. Nor were they very happy with it, from their expression. “Oh. You. Come around to laugh at little old me?”
“No. How would you like to leave?” Of course they would. That was what they had twisted their entire soul around by now. It was easy to see, those living here bare their souls so easily. Perhaps that was why Remnant had Aura. A reflection of how close the soul bubbled at the surface, brought into a world where it wasn’t necessary. Not that it was dangerous either, not in the way it would be in other places. “I’m making a present, and I believe you would be perfect for it.”
“Oh? What sort of present?” The Cat twisted in her grip, but wasn’t capable of escaping. Not even in this world, not even with their power, could anything she had Hunted escape. “I would dearly like to enjoy my time out of here you know.”
“Yes. You will.” Ruby hummed and started walking toward the tree. Even if the Cat didn’t want to come with her, they would do well with a trip to grandmother’s house. “Blake enjoys reading, and her own creative endeavors. Besides, you wouldn’t be trapped all the time. I doubt she’ll use this very often at all, and you’re the most intelligent of the pieces I’d be using. So you get the run of them when they’re not in use. It shouldn’t be too difficult to get you a library card. Or use Blake’s.”
Or Cardin’s, if the Cat decided they didn’t like returning books. Which they might, but it’d take time to figure that out. Wouldn’t be fair to saddle Blake with any fees, after all. If Cardin had to deal with late fees and not being able to check out books? Sounds like his own fucking problem.
Maybe he wouldn’t keep having them if he weren’t such a bullheaded bitch.
Regardless.
“You can ask the Smith about it. I bet she would be able to tell you how it feels.” Ruby huffed as she stepped onto the platform that led to the interior of the Tree. “Besides, it’s this or taking what the Smith gives you. You’ve been avoiding a check-up for far too long.”
“Hmpf! I suppose you are correct.” The Curious Cat examined the Tree for a moment. “I must confess that I never did figure out what it was like from her perspective. An interesting curiosity.”
~[#]~
It was cold here. Cold in a way that was impossible to block out, even for Ruby. That was the only reason to come to this place, really. The source of that cold was… beyond most. Dug deep into the fabric of the world in a way that made dodging it require being so distant that touching it was impossible.
Perhaps, had Ruby been interested, she could have been summoned. That may have allowed her to ignore the rules and still interact. Scoff at physics and magic in that way her brothers and sister could. IN that way that she could. But that had never been anything she was interested in. Nor was it in her nature.
Her nature was to Hunt, and this was what she did. It wouldn’t be a hunt if she ignored everything and crushed her opponent without a chance. Not for her, anyway. Some would call that hunting, but it wasn’t her nature. It wasn’t what she governed. It was only the most dangerous and deadly game that she was involved with.
The things that could turn a hunt end over end. Where who lived and died was often simply down to luck as much as skill. Here it would be no different. Her hands curled around the Moonlight Greatsword. Not her most favored of weapons, but it was Eldritch and that would be needed. Crescent Rose was Eldritch too, of course, but it could not do this.
Boots crunched in snow as she passed gravestone after endless gravestone. The cold gathered here, in this place, even as the snow gave way to a peaceful sight. The lone tree in this world, long dead yet living, atop a hill. Within its branches laid the source of the cold. An inauspicious throne for the true, unconquered ruler of this place.
They dropped onto the snow without disturbing it at her approach. By the time she made it atop the hill they were ready. There was no need to talk, no discussion. Not because they couldn’t, but because they could say everything they needed in their own way. They were both immortal, incapable of killing each other despite how much they tried. It was in that knowledge that they could communicate through other methods. Combat, mostly, a fight she was incapable of forgetting and they had never truly had.
A fight they never truly lost, either. But such was their nature. They couldn’t lose. Not really.
The Moonlight Greatsword Glowed as Ruby rolled her shoulders. Its eldritch light never really faded away, even with the death of Flora. Perhaps she was still around, somewhere, resting and watching. Granting something like favor to the one who brought her low and ascended from her end. Perhaps this was the last remnant of her, doomed to fade in the time between eons.
Hands curled around a simple wooden shaft. Though that described all of the weapon. Simple, straightforward. Designed entirely around one, singular purpose. Swung a billion times and a billion more. Nothing and no-one would ever match them with a scythe, and so Crescent Rose had to wait. The scythe rose and what few flakes of snow stopped falling.
Death swung their scythe, and Ruby blocked. Even now they made no noise, the clash producing nothing at all. The Moonlight Greatsword glowed, Ruby ducked, and sliced it forward.
The scythe finished its swing above her head, and the ethereal slash from the sword ripped into the simple cloak that covered her opponent. It was hard to tell if it did anything. There was no grunt or scream of pain. Simply another swing.
Ruby hopped backward, dead air rippling in front of her as the scythe passed. Nothing survived touching that edge. Not even her. As often as she had won, she had lost. Such was dancing with Death.
Snow fountained up as she blitzed forward. The Moonlight Greatsword bit deep. Then she pulled it slightly back, one hand pulling away.
The shaft of the scythe was pulled in. The executioner’s strike came to split her in two. Ruby threw all her weight into the underside of the blade, forcing herself up alongside it as it ripped further through her opponent.
Scythe met cloak and stopped. Death could not be harmed by themself, just as Ruby would never be injured by the Moonlight Greatsword ever again. A light stomp accompanied Ruby as she touched down past Death. Her weapon was already ready for the next strike.
Gently, Death stroked a hand over their ragged cloak. In an instant they were in front of her, scythe already halfway to her neck. It passed through with no resistance, shadowy rose petals ground to dust against the blade.
Ruby herself was not behind Death, as they’d expected. That was why continuing the swing did not catch her. The sword again stabbed through the cloak, ripping through it as Death spun, before ravaging it as Ruby dodged forward.
They reset. Two stared at each other across the field.
Ruby was uninjured, but that didn’t matter. One touch was death.
Death was injured, but that didn’t matter. Nothing stopped death.
The Moonlight Greatsword glowed. Death gently cleaned the edge of their scythe.
Amidst the swirling snow of a dead world they clashed again.
~[#]~
The third had been harder to figure out. Not what it was, no. That was easy. Obtaining it? That was much, much more difficult.
The normal play would have been to leave it for later, but this forging was as much metaphorical as it was physical. The physical parts were mostly done, but for the metaphor… well that required doing things in order. The actual process of obtaining them was just as important as the process of actually putting them in. Hence the visit to the dwarves.
Well, one particular species in one corner of the infinite universes that occupied only one small multiverse within the wider everything . That were called dwarves.
They reproduced by budding.
It was weird.
Great smiths though. Very good. About as good as they could be trapped and shackled to their physical forms as they are.
That was literal, by the way. Something about pissing off the God of Death? It was weird, this place was weird, and Ruby wasn’t really all that welcome here anyway. Still, Blake’s weapon needed some advice and if those fuckers wanted her gone they could damn well do it themselves.
Pricks.
“I’m making a phrase.” She sat, with a very nice belladonna tea, in front of the current (and forever) head of the dwarves.
Turned out being incapable of dying made you engage in some very interesting culinary habits. She’d grab a few recipes for Blake, but they might actually kill Yang. And Weiss. And possibly the entirety of Beacon.
Strong stuff. Very aromatic. Apparently the more… physically destroyed dwarves liked the feeling on their exposed bone.
Anyway.
“Aye, I see it. Clever way to weave what you want into it.” Bjorn, son of none, settled back in his chair and rubbed his fake beard. It seemed he was using bear pelt this time. It looked a little silly, honestly. “But getting something like that? A bit more trouble. My best thought its to weave it in as you weave in everything else, from your own stock.”
“Hm. My own stock?” That… might work. It’d be hard to keep it out while doing the weaving or… perhaps not. “Huh. That was a lot simpler than I expected it to be.”
“So it goes with things like this. Either the hardest xyklom you’ve ever done or the absolute easiest. No in between.” He chuckled as Ruby tilted her head. Even with all the eldritch truths she knew, some words did not translate well. Xyklom… something about a journey, an endeavor, and a craft all at once. Or something. Probably cultural things all mixed into it. That was usually why something was untranslatable. “I recall I once had to put a sigh of satisfaction into a pillow as a gift for a wedding. Apparently the bride’s best woman knew she wouldn’t enjoy the marriage and wanted something she could clutch to… fake things, as it were.”
“Ah, that sounds like it might be a bit hard.” How would you even begin with that? Maybe crack your bone as you finish each weave? Or hit just that right spot in a chair. “How’d you manage?”
“Turns out the best woman knew exactly why the lady wouldn’t enjoy her marriage.” Bjorn laughed and slapped his knee. “She had plenty of the lady’s sighs on her!”
“Suppose she was looking out for a girl friend then.” At least the bride had some help there.
“Yep. Groom was so impressed he came around looking for one of his own! Didn’t feel any attraction at all, ya see, but his mother was a swllim bitch and had the help keep an ear out at the door to their chambers!” Swllim… some sort of bird. Associated with… being an absolute prick? What? Whatever. “Got that all set up right. Bit more difficult, but he liked to knit. Brought in the pillow himself and it worked right a charm. They send cards once every so often. Nice folk.”
“You always have the best stories.” Made sense. He had been doing this for a very, very long time. “I suppose I need to be off though. I’ll come back as soon as I’m done.”
“You give it to your lady friend first, aye? Then come back to this old one and share the story of your forging.” Bjorn pat his chest. “I won’t be going anywhere, and you always have the most interesting metals! Shame you can’t bring any, but that's what those assholes do. Ruin the fun.”
“Right.” More reason to not be accepting of Gods. Not blindly and even not when they appear peaceful and kind.
~[#]~
“You MONSTER!” Lava fountained up around them as the world shook. Gai Heero barely kept his feet with the aid of his longtime companion and healer, Loi Alwif Fu. “Do you hate the world that much?”
Glowing red seeped up from the cracks forming in the caldera. The great supervolcano began to awaken, it’s terrible power shaking the land far and wide. The malevolence that rested at its centre brought burning eyes to bear. First wisps of fire, but then more and more. The physical form of the end of the world gradually took shape as the lava flowed.
“ MY GREAT ACOLYTE . YOU HAVE FREED ME FROM MY FORCED SLUMBER !” Wings of burning fire cracked into the air. Lava flowed down from them endlessly, burning the ground underneath the great bird. “ THIS WORLD HAS SURVIVED LONGER THAN IT SHOULD , YOUR REWARDS SHALL BE GRANTED IN YOUR NEXT LIFE !”
“Together, everyone!” The six heroes that had aligned themselves with Gai grouped into their usual formation. “The god is weak now! If we work together, maybe we can put them back down!”
“I… I st-studied the seal. I ca-can redo it… if… if I need to.” The ever trembling mage of the party, QT 𝚷, gripped her staff. The white knuckles stood out against the bark, but she still stood next to her companions. “Leave it to me!”
“ AHH , DESTROYING YOU WILL BE A GRAND ENTRANCE .” Wide wings spread out as the phoenix faced the hero party. “ STAND BACK , ACOLYTE . IT MAY ALLOW YOU TO SURVI- BWAK !”
“You all talk too much.” Crescent Rose ripped out the chest of the god in a spray of graffiti. The immediate retaliation of a massive pillar of fire managed to catch only rose petals.
“ TREACHERY !” The bird swung around, fire and lava pouring from their side, as they attempted to find Ruby. “ I HAD THOUGHT TO KILL YOU LAST , BUT NOW I SHALL REWARD YOU AS A TRAITOR DESERVES !”
“Hmpf.” There was a straight line between Ruby and her opponent. Yang had long ago learned never to let that happen, even if she was strong enough to survive it. With Ruby holding back. Killing her… hm. Not quite wife, because her wife was going to be Blake, but something else. Or maybe wife? Did Vale allow polygamy? Was Ruby going to have to threaten Vale to allow polygamy?
Inklings were naturally polygamous. It was very usual for them to just have one partner, and even then they tended to have casual sex pretty often. It was pretty nice, honestly. Amazing what making sex and sexuality more present and accepted did for people. One of her better ideas, honestly.
Anyway. Bird death.
The world between them split in two. Crescent Rose hooked into the seam of the world and Ruby accelerated far, far faster than she usually did. The BOOMBOOMBOOMBOOM of breaking the sound barrier faded into nothing as she slipped past sound.
Ruby slid to a stop on the opposite side of the god, a pulsing beating shard of the god in her hand. Lava spilled out around her fist as Crescent Rose slipped back into her cloak.
The rumbling stopped, the surface of the caldera scabbing over. Wisps of fire curled up from the spot where the god ended. Around her the hero party stood, mouths agape.
“Wh-” Ruby turned to Feest Punhare, the lapin monk of the party, who had, oddly for a monk, the absolute largest breasts.
Yes, it was very important to note that.
Shut up.
“Why?” Oh right, she was talking. “You did all this, fought all of us, just to…”
“I needed the shard for my girlfriend’s weapon.”
“You did all of this, almost ended the world, for… for a gift for your girlfriend!?” Gai… paused for a moment, panting. “You’re crazy!”
“No, no.” Loi raised a finger. “She’s got a point. I would do a lot to do the same for you.”
“Would do?” QT raised an eyebrow at Loi. “I’m already doing it!”
“Wha- how?” Loi immediately spun on her party member. “We didn’t even know until a bit before this entire thing? How could you possibly have already started researching it?”
“Why wouldn’t I want bigger tits?”
The question lingered for a moment. Then, simultaneously, every present responded identically.
“Same.”
Ruby blinked. Then looked at Gai.
“I’m getting that changed as soon as I can, okay? Do you know how annoying it is to update government paperwork during the end of the world?” Gai sighed. “The only people left working are the sort of people that are okay coming back to work after everyone else was killed. By you. Which means they aren't very good at their jobs. Obviously. Anyway, I’m just going to…”
“Tra Hanz’s ritual needs some things we don’t have yet…”
“I’m going to go get those.”
Ruby watched the… successful (?) party walk away. “Huh. You think you know a guy. Girl. You think you know a girl . Neat. Hope she gets those titties she wants.”
~[#]~
“OWOWOWOWW!”
“Shut it.” The hammer slammed onto the gun as the Curious Cat complained. Like a little bitch. It’s like they never… oh right. They never had encountered pain before. Probably. Whatever.
CLANG!
First goes curiosity. Sealed into the weapon by itself and endlessly wandering. From it would come the ability to always hit. Not that Blake would need that, but the other effect was the important one anyway. The ability to gain significant information from anything struck by the weapon. Sort of like an RPG stat screen, but also not at all like that.
Anyway.
Next came Death. Smothered into the weapon and buried underneath the sand of a dead beach. From it would come death. Anything struck would, inevitably, die. Except a few things that were more complicated, but anything on that level Blake would use Yamato on anyway. Aura was basically irrelevant to the weapon, so deeply ingrained in all things as death was.
Because the Brother Gods were no name, small minded, hasty little fucking bitches !
“Hah. Ughh…” Ruby shook her head and rolled her arms. She really needed to slap them one day. Maybe stab them a lot and bring them back to Tree Grandma. “Right. Huhh… next!”
Satisfaction slipped in. Bound into it by a contented hum. Curiosity would always hit, and Satisfaction would always follow. Two weapons bound heavily together, to the extent that when one fired the other wasn’t far behind. This one could also fire in many, many different ways. A little bit of work and Blake would be shooting hearts, or whatever, into her enemies.
Last came Life. Rebirth. Sunk into the weapon by the blood of many, many demons. Each clamoring for a second chance, just a little bit more time. The ones dissatisfied with their end. From this Blake would always spring forth. Death could not touch her, and time would find its grains slip by. Very useful in case of misfires from its partner. It couldn’t kill, not really, but it could heal with a bit of effort. Otherwise it was just kinda a shitty gun.
Four guns and a phrase. One cat for them all.
“Now where were those feet measurements?”
Chapter 30: Beacon Days - Guns and Roses.
Chapter by desolatedsabers
Chapter Text
“Huh. Cultists skimped out on the paint. Or they got really thin blood.” Yang quietly mumbled as she took in the state of the shitty ritual circle on the ground. “Or Ozpin’s previous life’s cultists just weren’t good at their job. These babies are meant to last ages. Cheap candles, too.”
“And they got all the spelling wrong,” Blake mused, kicking one of the un-scraped parts of the ritual circle with a huff. “I mean, it’d still go through if they did an appropriate blood sacrifice, but it’d need a lot more blood and a lot of chanting before it connected to the right demon. Demon realm’s not always fast about sending the right entity to the matching portal, y’know. I mean, I came through in like, five minutes, but that was… different. And I wasn’t summoned as a distinct entity so much as my entire soul fused with… uh… well. Y’know. Me… and now I don’t really remember where the line blurs anymore and wow I’m still talking about that I’m gonna shut up because that was a really stupid and embarrassing ritual that I probably shouldn’t have done.”
“Silver lining, you could’ve summoned a guy in his tighty-whiteys scratching his nuts.” Yang pointed out, shaking her head. “Freakin’ nobles… Anyway. So how many abandoned classrooms of dubious usage is that so far? And how many with ritual circles in them?” She pulled out her scroll and went over her tally marks.
“Sixteen abandoned or otherwise unused classrooms, seven of which contained ritual circles, including this one,” Blake tapped her chin, then huffed. “Though, this ritual circle might have just been for the gag? It doesn’t smell like ritual-use blood in here… kinda just smells like… beets? Oh lame, did they make dye out of beets and just stain the floor? Ugh. This definitely isn’t a real cult room… who the fuck uses beets for a ritual circle?”
“You would be very surprised.” Ruby just… appeared in the doorway. The door didn’t open and nothing indicated she crossed into that space. She was just… there. “Blake! I’ve got you cannons! Not the boob kind, unfortunately. I can do that later.”
“Ooh, bitches love cannons!” Blake perked up, immediately scurrying over to Ruby with twitching ears and stars in her eyes. “I’m very intrigued. Whatcha got?”
“Curiosity.” A heavy looking pistol with ever shifting color. “Death.” It looked hollow, only the skeleton of the weapon left. “Satisfaction.” This one looked like it had every comfort attachment possible, from the custom grip to the red-dot sight. “Rebirth.” Flames licked across this one even at rest, the metal almost seeming to breathe .
“Aww man… they even have cool names…” Yang pouted, crossing her arms at Ruby’s gift for Blake. “Lucky…”
“I made them shift so you could attach them to your legs if you wanted.” Ruby reached into her cloak to pull out some fancy black boots. “Even made some special boots for it, but they’ll work with anything as long as they don’t push out too far past your heel.”
Blake stared, blinking almost blankly at the four guns that Ruby had presented to her, almost unsure of what to say. Still, though, she gently took the weapons and held them close, giving Ruby a small, sort of wobbly smile in return. “T-thanks… I love them! I um… I can’t say that I’ll use them much… b-but they’re beautiful, Ruby! You really, really didn’t have to go out of your way to make these so extravagant… but I’ll cherish them always.”
With her hands on her hips, Yang walked over and used her leg to slowly push Blake closer to Ruby. “C’mon. You know I don’t actually mind.”
“Of… course I did?” Ruby blinked at Blake. “They’re for you. They should be important for you.”
Blake just purred quietly, flicking her tail behind herself and blushing. “I- yeah. That’s… true. Um. Can I…?”
She sort of just… poked her fingers together, setting aside her new weapons in favor of awkwardly twiddling in front of Ruby, asking permission to kiss her as if she hadn’t had Ruby’s dick in her mouth almost literally every night since they first met.
“Go ahead, if you want. You don’t need to.” Ruby gestured at the guns. “Those weren’t for anything. I just thought you’d like them.”
“Y-yeah, well…” Blake surged forward before she could lose her nerve, wrapping Ruby up in a tight hug and planting a kiss on her cheek. “Thank you. Really. I appreciate it a lot.”
Ruby tilted her head at an angle that would have been painful to anyone that had to deal with silly things like bones and gave Blake a return kiss on the cheek.
Blake purred louder, rumbling against Ruby’s chest and more or less burying her face in the scarf-like portion of her cloak, more comfortable with nuzzling her Team Leader’s shoulder than actually giving kisses. “Mmrr… I guess… I didn’t put as much effort into it as you put into those guns, but… I did make cookies for you, if you’re interested…?”
“Oh, hit her with the cookie bribe.” Yang snickered softly as she walked over and wrapped the both of them in her arms.
“Cookies and deepthroat later,” Blake shot back, snickering a little. “Or, if she wants, I could pull an armchair from the common room and she can have cookies while I deepthroat her.”
“Yes, but later.” Ruby pointed. “ Guns . Try the guns. On a completely unrelated note, Cardin’s out of the infirmary now. Just don’t use Death.”
“I can’t believe I feel a little bad for that runt.” Yang snorted, before shaking her head. “Still, normally you’re up for a quick romp. What’s up, Rubes?”
“Guns.” Ruby blinked. “Just… guns. Weapons. You know I fuck with guns. And, that one time, fucked guns. That was a fun place, I need to go back there. Maybe steal Thompson.”
“I- yeah. Okay.” Blake nodded slowly, then picked up said guns one by one, sort of awkwardly juggling them as she tried to figure out which one should go where. In the end, she decided to wield Curiosity and Satisfaction in her left and right hands respectively, and attached Death and Rebirth to her left and right heels with just a little bit of awkward fumbling to get the balance right. She paused, looking at herself in the conveniently right there full length mirror attached to the back of the door, then hummed. “I feel like a fucking celebrity in this town.”
Fortunately, no bus came out of the sky to try and crush her. Unfortunately, she wasn’t quite tall or leggy enough to really pull off the Bayonetta special, but she was definitely flexible enough to get close.
“I’m sure you do.” Yang grinned, before letting go of Ruby and Blake and stepping back as she put her hands behind her head. If one listened close they could hear the buttons of her blouse screaming in exertion. “So… where ya been, Rubes? I’ve missed you. Can’t always sleep without my favorite cuddle partner. Or one of them, anyway, Blake’s been fantastic.” She added after a moment, with a flirty kiss in the air to Blake.
“Here and there. The Ever After for a bit. A dead world. Some other places.” Ruby hummed and stared up into the air. “I think I was a JRPG villain for a bit? And the main protagonist turned out to be trans. And I’m pretty sure they were all fucking or wanted to be? I should get them a fruit basket.”
“Huh.” Yang blinked in surprise, before tilting her head. “I don’t… I don’t really know what to say to that. I mean… good for them, I guess? And, I mean, you being a JRPG villain isn’t the weirdest thing. You’re technically a JRPG Protagonist. And they come back as villains almost every other game. Like Demi-Fiend.”
“... Do I count as a JRPG villain…?” Blake mumbled, taking her freedom from Yang’s arms in order to shuck off her uniform jacket and start doing vogue poses with her new guns in the mirror.
“Technically? Bloodborne and Devil May Cry are both Action RPGs but they’re from Japan, and I know that games journalists got super racist about that which is why JRPG even existed as a term at first. So… probably yes? You look fantastic by the way, we need to get you some skin tight leggings.” Yang shot Blake a double thumbs up, a grin on her face.
“It was fun. I need to try doing it more.” Ruby sighed. “I need to try adventuring more. In a light hearted way that gets more serious and intimate as we slowly uncover the greater plot behind all the evil happenings in the world. Except most of those were actually just random crazies and I had nothing to do with them. The conspiracy board was hilarious. They kept trying to figure out why I took every cookie I could… except raisin. Fuck raisin.”
“Raisin cookies are the devil,” Blake agreed, then lightly raised her leg in a way that definitely showed off what was under her skirt. In this case, black lace with a little pink bow in front. “Hmmm… gonna need to do more stretches. I used to be able to put my leg behind my head while standing when I was like… twelve.”
“My stretching routine is mostly done in my full transformation. Gotta do it out in the forest so people don’t shit.” Yang mumbled, before loosening her arms and letting them drop. Still, she patted her stomach and blinked. “Oh that’s what I’ve been missing. Ruby hasn’t been frenzied in my general direction for a week. A week? Three days? Five? Whatever. I’ve been missing my Ruby time, and I was wondering if you were free?” She tilted her head at Ruby, her pout beginning to form.
“I can do other things than fuck. I am a terrifying force of murder.” Ruby puffed out her chest, as the smallest individual in the room. “But also I’m fucking you for eight straight hours tonight.”
“Hooray!” Any instance of a pout vanished immediately as Yang threw her arms up, which was a mistake as one of her buttons immediately pinged off of her shirt. “Fuck!”
“AGKPH-!” And there it went, straight into the back of Blake’s head. “Ow! What the fuck was that!?”
Blake turned, rubbing the back of her head indignantly… only to stop and freeze at the sight of Yang’s boobs now more or less hanging out in the open thanks to her shirt now lacking that crucial button. “... Hrdsgsdfgdfddg.”
Ruby stepped forward to gently poke the now insensate demon/Faunus. “Hmm… well. We could get started on that flexibility training.”
Yang futilely tried to close her shirt, before letting out an embarrassed sigh as her breasts just flopped back into place. “Fucking… this is why I wear a kimono top. Rggh…” Still, with that grumble she gently picked up Blake, and then Blake’s jacket top, and gently carried the cat Faunus out of the room, swaying her tail for a moment in the doorway as she grinned. “C’mon. Blake’s been fantastic but I have needs.”
“Weeeeehhh! I’ve been trying!” Blake pouted, limply laying there in Yang’s arms. “Hmph!”
“I know, and you’ve been wonderful, but you do different things for me compared to Ruby. I want you as my wife, and Ruby wants me as hers. Y’know?” Yang softly whispered back.
“I am going to put babies in both of you.” Ruby let out a heavy breath. “As soon as we’re in a spot nobody will interrupt me. Because I’d have to rip limbs off and nobody would have fun. Hm. That reminds me. Remind me to grab Pyrrha and Five after.”
“If I can remember it when my brain leaks out of my pussy.” Yang ‘promised’, knowing she’d likely forget. “Just need to hope I don’t get pulled in for detention or something because of a wardrobe malfunction… Wait, why are we walking?”
“Bweh!” Blake made… a noise, and then summarily dropped all three of them through a portal by flicking Yamato about an inch out of its sheath. “Sexytimes!”
Laying on the bed with a hum, Yang lifted one of her legs and used the shift in weight to roll her body over to stare at Ruby’s naked form, smiling softly. “I missed you.”
“I missed you too.” Ruby pat Yang on the head. “It’s nice to do something else once in a while, but I’ll always come back to this.”
“You better.” Yang said with a ‘fierce’ smile, even as she rubbed her head against Ruby’s hand. “Otherwise I’ll cry. And then where would we be? Not having fun times with you trying to get me pregnant, that’s where.”
“Right.” Ruby sighed and stared at the ceiling. “I really need to actually do that one of these days. I won’t have Pyrrha get Five pregnant before I get you pregnant.”
A glint appeared in Yang’s eye as the dragon woman grinned, pushing herself onto her knees and stalking forward with her hands, even pulling Ruby’s face down to look at her. “They’ve had a bit of a head start. Do you think you could catch up that quick?”
“Pyrrha is sure as hell trying. Really, really hard.” A chuckle. “She seemed to take the fact that Five went out and got help away from her as a wakeup call that she could, in fact, be the person to start the relationship she wanted. The sex with us probably helped.”
“I’d imagine so.” Yang grinned, shifting forward to sit in Ruby’s lap. “Gave her a pretty big shot of confidence once she saw me go down. Probably encouraged her to take the plunge when she couldn’t find Five. or Jaune. Has she picked a new name yet?”
“Not that I know of, but she’s mostly been bouncing on Pyrrha’s dick sooo…” Ruby shrugged. “Not much time for that. By the end she might just keep Five because it’s the thing Pyrrha’s been moaning so much. Or choose something like puppy or baby or something. I dunno. Whatever Mistralians use as pet names in bed.”
“Some derivative of either lotus or whore.” Yang chuckled, beginning to rub Ruby’s face with her thumb. Shifting again, she hummed. “Normally by now you’d already be frenzied. You okay?”
“Yep, doing good. Relaxed and happy, honestly.” Ruby snuggled back and hummed. “Hunted. Made something. Fucked. I did everything I like to do in very quick succession. I’m just… luxuriating in that feeling. I don’t generally get to do it a lot.”
“Ah.” Yang nodded, rubbing Ruby’s head as she was cuddled into. “Gonna take it slow tonight, or just a slow start?”
“Probably just a slow start.” Ruby gently slid an arm around Yang. “I am not going to fuck you tonight. I am going to love you tonight.”
Yang shivered when Ruby’s arm slid around her, her body already eagerly anticipating Ruby’s actions as she nodded. “O-oh… That sounds great, actually…” She bit her lip and swayed her hips, almost unconsciously. “What are you gonna do first?”
“First you need to get on the bed.” Ruby tugged at her collar. “I need to get into something more comforta… no wait. Something sexy.”
Perking up, Yang quickly shuffled her way out of Ruby’s hold and rolled over, laying on her back and wiggling excitedly. “Oh? Like what?”
“You’ll see.” Ruby flashed a peace sign and then disappeared into mist.
“Hmm. Ominous.” Yang giggled to herself as she brought her hands over her head, before she paused. “If she shows up wearing her hunter uniform I think I’m gonna be a bit let down.”
“Fucking jackasses think I can… ugh!” Mist pooled around the door as Ruby’s grumbles came through loud and clear. “And stay out!” A door slammed. Somehow. “Hahh… figures that’d happen, but it really is the best place. Yaaang!” The mist gradually thinned to reveal Ruby. “Like it?”
She was wearing… just enough. Light fishnet sleeves ran from her ring finger up to her shoulders, where they met a… jacket. If something like that could be called a jacket. It had no zipper, or at least no zipper to actually zip it fully up, instead laying opento expose the entirety of Ruby’s chest and yet also not cover her belly button. In red. Of course. She was… also technically wearing a bra. Her size had obviously been given a bit of a boost, either before or after getting the thing.
Regardless, it wrapped around the bottom of her boobs in a way that definitely put them front and center. With a bit of her nipples peeking out. For spice. This design choice was continued to her bottom. Artfully ripped stockings covered her legs all the way up to the shorts she was wearing. Though calling them shorts was, again, generous. Either they were missing a button or never had it, resulting in the front drooping open to expose the tiniest bit of Ruby’s pussy. A side glance while Ruby closed the actual door to the room showed that there was mesh under the fabric, as evidenced by the rips and tears in the ass.
An ass that was, very obviously, not covered by anything but the shorts. Just in case that hadn’t been obvious from the glimpse of pussy. A step forward showed that, instead of her usual boots, Ruby wasn’t wearing shoes at all. Which… actually was pretty unusual. Either she was fully dressed, or not dressed at all, and there wasn’t much in between with her. A consequence of just being able to decide whether she was dressed or not at any particular moment.
“You like?” Ruby slid a hand above her pussy and pulled it up to grope a boob. That the boob didn’t literally fall out of the top was a miracle. Or just… Ruby being Ruby. Or possibly something to do with the place she got those clothes. It was a bit of a toss-up, and not something Yang was thinking about anyway. What she was actually thinking about was more on the lines of-
“Awooga.” She dumbly said, staring at the fishnet coated flesh, alongside the uncovered flesh, in front of her. Yang didn’t usually take the time to pretty herself up when she was going to be fucking, mostly just picking a lipstick type and then deciding if she was going to spend the night on her back or on her stomach. Which Ruby could attest.
Seeing all of this effort, though, made her reconsider and wonder if it wouldn’t be a bad idea to pick up some fishnets, and then maybe some purple eyeshadow or something. Blake would know. But that’s later, right now…
Licking her lips, she grinned up at Ruby from her place, laying on their shared bed, and then nodded quickly. “I do. I very much do. Though uh… I thought you were gonna be getting me pregnant tonight. I mean I don’t mind putting in some work with my mouth, just a little confused.” She quickly elaborated in case that might have disappointed Ruby, even bringing her hands up from their place over her head to wave them quickly.
Ruby chuckled and rolled her eyes. “I can have my dick whenever I want to, Yang. And don’t think I didn’t miss the lack of an exclamation mark there!” She strolled forward, a smile on her lips. Her shorts gradually pushed open more and more, a length making itself known. “I plan on making you give me two for every one you missed there.”
Spying the sudden change in Ruby’s musculature, Yang’s mouth watered mildly as her brain registered both the rapidly increasing size of the length, as well as registered the ‘danger’ she was in. “R-Rubes, Rubaby, Rhubarb, love of my life… My brain short circuited when I saw you dressed like this, that’s why I didn’t shout or anything, I swear!”
She was almost sweating from how nervous she was, coupled with how distracted as she constantly kept glancing at the new piece of equipment Ruby brought to the table, eyes wildly shifting even as she knew that trying to ‘defend’ herself from Ruby’s ‘assault’ would be fruitless. She’d never really put in actual effort to do so, either.
She knew what she was about. And what she was about was being thrown on her back and fucked until her body was folded over, or thrown on her chest and fucked into the headboard of their bed.
“Yang, Yang, Yang…” Ruby slid onto the bed, her height now enough to settle just aside Yang. One of her arms slid up to curl into golden hair and the other gently walked two fingers up her stomach. “I told you already, didn’t I? I’m going to love you tonight. I remember what it is, even if the feeling… whatever. Haaah…” She hummed and shook her head. Then she leaned forward and gently kissed Yang on her collarbone.
Yang’s knee twitched as she let out a quiet half yelp, leaning her head up to give Ruby more access to her neck. She also pushed out her belly with her spine, appreciating everything Ruby was doing to her and wanting more. “O-Oh… right… silly me.”
“You’re so easy sometimes.” Ruby chuckled as she gave the bare skin a little lick. Her fingers walked their way down the smooth expanse of her skin and swirled around her pussy. “Already wet? Do you want me to get started right now?” Her dick bounced, the head sliding against Yang’s hip.
Yang gasped, legs twitching again as she submitted herself to Ruby’s teasing, to feeling her body pressing against her. She almost said yes on reflex, just because Ruby was asking her something. Instead, she whimpered quietly and shook her head. “S-Show me what you were thinking, Rubles… I wanna know…”
Ruby pressed her mouth against Yang’s neck. “You’re going to need to unwrap me first. However much you want, but the shorts at least need to go.” She twisted herself, settling above Yang. Her legs shifted, dick rocking side to side, as she rolled her hips side to side. “Come on.”
If Yang weren’t currently a complete mess, Ruby knew she’d probably be pouting. But, instead, quietly and obediently, she reached up and took hold of Ruby’s shorts, popping the button with her finger in a way that’d probably damage them later down the line, but for right now had the added effect of freeing her new equipment entirely causing it to wetly slap against Yang’s stomach.
The immediate whimpering and leg shifting just caused Ruby to smirk, just the smallest touch of sadism as she offered no help in getting out of her shorts, and instead let Yang slowly release her, knowing that her poor, adorable, complete mess of a beloved would be constantly getting more and more aroused the longer she took.
It was a very rare song and dance they played, but one that Ruby appreciated.
Slowly, shaky hands pulled them off. Slowly, the dick under them was finally revealed in all its glory. It was, undeniably, big enough to satisfy Yang. Suddenly a single finger pressed just into Yang’s pussy and worked its way up and down.
“Nggh!” Her quarry shivered, gasping at the sudden ministration, and Ruby wondered, idly, if she could work Yang into a frenzy similar to her own? Perhaps. She’d definitely be attempting it at some point. Maybe even today. Still, she does raise herself so that Yang can finish her herculean task, the removal of her shorts complete, and then allowed herself to drop back down, giggling at just how proud of herself her frazzled lover is for doing something as simple as removing her shorts.
“There we go. And you’re so wet already too.” Ruby gently slid back, her head now even with Yang’s. “Well. Are you ready? Your body says you are, but I’m not so sure…”
The whine her adorable dragon immediately let out was so need-filled. And yet. “Those aren’t words, Yang.”
“Please…” Yang weakly whimpered as she tried to shift her body for any amount of stimulation.
“As you wish.” Gently, slowly, Ruby lowered herself. Her dick slipped into Yang with no real force, nor did it need… much. It was an agonizing twenty-three seconds before she finally hilted. “Hmm… is this a good start?” She reached forward and caressed Yang’s jaw. A light kiss tapped onto her nose. “I think it is.”
Ruby pulled herself back, and then sprang forward with an audible clap. And again. And again. The same pace each time. Each movement exactly as it was before. It was her hands that changed. They pulled away from Yang’s face to press at her boobs, at her clit, at her ass, at everything . Some were light touches. Some were rough. Others were pinches. Still others were a heavy slide across smooth skin.
And through it all, Yang let out the most beautiful sounds, fragmented, cracking, desperate, loving, begging, and sickeningly sweet. Her whispers, a combination of horrendous dirty talk and desperate pillow talk. Her gasps, loud, sudden, and encouraging. Ruby thrusted harder when she managed to get one of those.
Her squeals though, were what she was hunting for. A sound that would be so incredibly odd to hear from such a large being, even if Yang kept most of her size away, but she heard it once when she and Yang first became intimate and always desired to hear it again.
She may have accidentally caused a pavlovian response in Yang, as now almost any form of sex would eventually cause the adorable dragon to let out those noises.
Still, for all that she loved Yang’s breasts, wanted to see them full, lactating and swollen, and Yang’s stomach, which she desired to see full of life, it was the look in Yang’s eyes that always drew her in. That odd mixture of adoration and lust that she couldn’t quite identify, but understood as Yang’s form of Love. It drew her in, wrapped around her, and refused to let go.
For all that Yang was willing to share herself between multiple lovers, she could be quite greedy when the situation reversed. Something Ruby learnt very quickly, earlier on.
“There we go.” Ruby’s hand slid up from a nipple, a nail gently pressing down against the flesh before it lifted as it reached the end of the boob. A gentle caress curved around Yang’s forehead. “Not too fast now. We’re going to be here for a while, okay?” She punctuated that with a slightly rougher, faster, plunge of her dick.
“H-how long…?” Yang whimpered out, as she brought her legs up, trying to hold them around Ruby’s waist. Ruby could deny her, if she truly wanted. Sometimes she did. Still…
“As long as it takes.” Ruby let herself be pulled back in by Yang’s legs. “I can manage myself well enough, but as a treat…” Her hips bucked and pounded. Hands braced to either side of Yang’s head as the force sent ripples across bare flesh. So much faster, so much- “Haaah!”
Climax.
Ruby didn’t cum in spurts. No. Hers was a flow. A continual fill until she was done. Whether she decided to stop it at her own will or something else was at stake wasn’t something Yang knew. All she knew right then was being filled. The oddly sticky, warm cum splashed into her and didn’t stop for… however long. Though it did, eventually stop.
Only for Ruby to resume the pace she had before. Just a tiny bit faster.
And Yang simply held on for the ride, even as her head spun, and she felt Ruby constantly increase her pace in tiny increments after each climax.
Eventually it got to a point that Yang couldn’t actually move her legs, and her stomach was full to the point that she already looked gravidly pregnant.
And still, Ruby didn’t stop. All Yang could do in the face of it was giggle as if she were drunk, and hold her darling sister close.
Ruby was always cuddly after she was done, always focusing on Yang’s breasts, belly, and face. And she adored Ruby right back.
Life was good for Yang Xiao-Long and Ruby Rose. Very good indeed.
Perhaps she really would end up pregnant this time. Yang could only hope. And Ruby could only try.
Chapter 31: Beacon Days - You Can't Just Parry A Nuke (Qrow 3)
Chapter by CyberQueen_Jolyne, InternecionWitch, The_Mad_Mystic
Chapter Text
It wasn’t hard to find Salem’s castle after the first time. Despite the Forbidden Continent being a desolate wasteland, there were notable landmarks. Mostly craters and mountains, but it was enough to guide him towards his destination. Qrow flapped his wings, descending to the ground slowly. If it were just him, he’d have crashed into the ground at full speed, but he wasn’t sure if Weiss would survive that. He shouldn’t be able to, but given his more fluid form, it wasn’t as big a deal.
“We’re here.” Qrow pointed out the obvious. “Shit, I forgot the stereo…” He always forgot something, but how was he supposed to sit outside Salem’s window with music without a stereo of some kind? He definitely couldn’t sing.
Lucky for him, we had Weiss. “I could sing… Not sure what though. I can do Daisy Bell, that one Evanescence song, every single Hatsune Miku song in existence, I recommend Why Do I, or Loser Baby. Not sure if that last one fits though.” She listed off one by one, counting them off on her fingers.
“Nah, it’s not the same. I’ll probably just talk to her this time. She probably knows we’re here already, so she’s gonna try the usual ‘big bad patiently waiting for the heroes in a throne room’ thing.” Qrow chuckled, shaking his head. “Besides, how else am I supposed to bully Tyrian? Probably shouldn’t kill him just yet, but… well. We’ll figure it out later. Let’s go rescue Princess Bowsette from her own castle.” He knew damn well she was not the innocent princess, but… that just made it better.
“Did, did you just call Salem Bowsette?” Weiss was stunned by the idea, at least before she paused to consider it. “I hate that I actually see it… Whatever, If you want to try talking you can try, so long as you don’t offer her a bucket of chicken. We can kill Tyrian whenever. Now or later.”
“I don’t have any chicken with me, but she’d probably appreciate it. I mean, do you see a KFC around here anywhere? She’s probably been eating horrible shit. You know none of those failures can cook proper meals.” Qrow pointed out, before leaping through the same window Salem had been at last time he was there. Oddly enough, it was open . “Honey, I’m home!”
The room he entered was a massive meeting area, at least ten chairs, all around a long table with a fancier chair at one end, and a stool at the other. Though all the chairs were empty, Qrow recognized the scrying Grimm Salem used quite easily. “Well… I was hoping for a more intense introduction, but at least I don’t have to eat anyone yet.” Hopefully. “Come on up, kid, coast is clear.” He hollered back down to Weiss.
At his instruction, Weiss hopped up a couple of Glyphs to the window, slipping into the meeting room. “Huh. honestly I didn’t think we’d get this far.” She spied the empty chair at the end of the table. “Huh, now that’s a nice chair. Big and imposing. Perfect to sit in and turn around dramatically when the good guys enter the room. Do you think she’d care if I stole it?”
“I mean, probably not, it’s just a chair, but how are you gonna haul it back?” Qrow raised an eyebrow at Weiss. “Anyway, since we don’t seem to be getting attacked yet, she hasn’t told anyone we’re here. Or we somehow managed to come at the exact time everyone else was gone… That’d be disappointing, honestly.” Though he wouldn’t say no to Salem being alone…
“With the power of-” Weiss did a motion with her arms, “-Hammerspace Glyphs.” She clicked her fingers and a Glyph appeared above and subsequently stole the chair. “Mine now.” She paused. “Wait, she might notice that…” She snapped her fingers again and a Glyph reappeared, releasing a steel folding chair into the place of the old one. “There. Perfect. Undetectable. The perfect crime.”
“If she could, I’m fairly sure she’d kill us for this.” Qrow commented idly, amused rather than concerned. He, at the very least, would be completely fine. “I mean. Can she kill you? I know I’d be fine, but I don’t actually know what your full abilities are…”
Weiss shrugged. “In terms of durability all I have is aura. Between me and the rest of Team RWBY I’m probably the weakest if I’m being honest… But, well…” Weiss held up her cybernetic arm. “She’ll actually have to hit me to kill me, and so long as I parry it I’ll be fine. Probably. I hope.”
“Fair enough! I never got the hang of that Ultrakill, but parrying… My dark souls days have served me well.” Qrow looked oddly solemn at that. “Anyway, let’s go, I’ve got a Goth Milf to seduce!” Or lose another body to, either or.
Qrow barely flinched as the door slammed open, Salem herself appearing before the two. “You come into my house-!”
She paused, eye twitching as she realized the sudden lack of something very important in the room. “DID YOU STEAL MY FUCKING THRONE!? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?”
“About three different untreated mental illnesses.” Weiss deadpanned.
“It’s a swivel chair.” Qrow shrugged. “You can literally just magic one even better up. Or have Cinder act as a chair, she’d probably enjoy that.” Qrow cleared his throat. “But! Hello! It’s nice to see you again.”
Salem stared at him for a long moment, squinting her eyes. “Didn’t I kill you already?” Surely her memory wasn’t that bad? She never had problems before…
“You aren’t the first, and probably won’t be the last. Killing me ain’t the hard part, it's making me stay dead.” Qrow chuckled.
“Damn, I feel that.” Salem sighed, shaking her head. “Still, I don’t see a reason why I shouldn’t just kill both of you now.”
“Because you’re curious what kind of lunatics could not only find your castle, but come here without back up?” Qrow suggested.
“A little, but I’m certainly not inclined to spare either of you for that.” Salem stared at him, arms crossed. “But I am feeling generous. I’ll give you a chance to convince me not to kill you.”
Qrow turned to Weiss. “So I could tell her the secret, but I kinda want to see you do the thing .”
Weiss held up a couple of coins and her railgun. “ The thing? ” She replied back, uncertain. “Or a different thing? I do lots of things.”
“Parry the nuke.” Qrow responded immediately.
“You can’t parry a nuke, ” Salem stared at the two, her expression a mixture of confusion and… amusement. “But I’m certain you can try .” She raised her hand, magic visibly pooling in her palm.
“Wait, right now? Aren’t you worried about destroying your own castle?” Qrow pointed out.
“I can remake it in a matter of minutes.” Salem scoffed.
“...So you can just make chairs like that.” Qrow deadpanned, stepping behind Weiss. She could parry it, but he’d just survive it. Probably.
“ It’s the principle of the matter !” Salem seemed genuinely insulted now, launching the blast right as she finished talking.
The destructive blast raced toward Weiss, incinerating anything it came into contact with along the way. If she couldn’t actually do this they’d look pretty stupid soon.
She drew back her arm, and just before it hit her she punched the explosion, slicing it in two. The exterior edges eviscerated the rest of the caste, and the floor beneath them. But, the segment that Weiss hit actually went back into Salem.
“Oh fu-” Salem managed to get out before she was reduced to nearly nothing, her curse the only thing keeping her clinging onto existence.
Weiss turned back to Qrow, in the ruins of Evernight. “So, it turns out I really can parry anything. Neat. What do we do while she regenerates?”
“...I need a rose.” Qrow narrowed his eyes, slowly grinning. “But you can do… whatever you want, really. I’m sure Salem has some cool shit here, and if you can do that , I don’t think any of her stooges will be a threat to you.” Qrow hummed, walking through the… remains of the castle. He had a bedroom to find.
“Looting it is!” Weiss exclaimed with a feral grin creeping onto her face. “I wonder if Watts has anything fun…”
Salem awoke to find herself in the same spot she’d ‘died’ at, but with no sign of the two intruders. She growled, irritated at both herself for giving into their taunting, and the two idiots who managed to kill her. It’d been a long time since she died like that, let alone in her own territory. Admittedly, she felt a sense of respect for the two managing to do so.
Not that it would save them when she found them, but still. She took a calming breath, clearing her thoughts. With little more than a wave of her hand the room was fixed, magic flooding the area in incalculable power. As much as she looked like a being of destruction, creation had always been far easier for her. She certainly couldn’t have hired anyone to build this castle for her, after all. She stiffly turned, tracking down the first of them, the spy for Ozpin.
She paused. She had one of Ozpin’s spies, possibly two of them, all alone. She could convince them to switch to her side. Anyone who could kill her… well, she’d give them a chance. Ozpin was a fool to allow these two out of his sight, but this also wasn’t his typical method… Perhaps they had tired of Ozpin’s machinations and decided to hedge their bets with the winning side? It wasn’t impossible. She, of all people, knew that Ozpin had problems keeping loyalties.
She let a small, vindictive smile spread across her face. Yes, that would certainly work. She just had to convince them she was the wronged party here. She had been, but she’d have to get them to look past… a lot. Eh, it worked on the others, even if Tyrian was a fucking lunatic.
…
Then again, Qrow had been flirting with her, despite her disgusting form. He was clearly insane, as well, if in a… different way. Salem could sense the lingering magic, sparse as it was, within Qrow, allowing her to track him down to… her bedroom???
“What the fuck .” Salem stared, dumbfounded as she opened the door.
Before her, almost naked and clearly expecting her, was Qrow, a rose in his mouth, posing on her bed. “Hey beautiful.”
Salem just stared for a long moment, opening her mouth and closing it several times as she tried to figure out what the fuck was wrong with this man. “Are you fucking with me? Is this some new tactic from Ozpin?” She doubted it. Usually, she’d believe he was behind anything, but this… Even Ozpin wouldn’t set something this ridiculous up.
“Hopefully. But Ozpin has nothing to do with this. I came here because of you .” Qrow murmured softly. “After all, a beautiful woman like you, all alone in a castle, with incredible magic and influence… Well, I’m a bit addicted, I suppose.”
“I’ve no idea what the fuck is wrong with you, but this form is disgusting.” Salem, still not moving, stated, trying to get her mind right. “Why are you here? Truly?”
“I am being truthful. But, I suppose I can explain a bit more.” Qrow shrugged, sitting up properly now. “See, I know the full story now. Ozpin, before this, only told me… a bit. Now, I probably know more than you about the actual problems.”
Salem scoffed. She seriously doubted him, now. She’d lived through the events he was talking about. He knew nothing . “Enlighten me, then.”
“The Brother Gods betrayed humanity, all because they decided death had to be permanent.” Qrow shrugged. “That Tree Mom didn’t get involved is disappointing, but… I still like her, at least. A god sitting aside as her creations decided their own paths, that’s respectable. The Brother Gods, though…” Qrow grinned, looking positively savage as he spoke. “I’m fully intending on killing them.”
Salem stared at him for a long moment. She knew a lot of people would understand, but one of Ozpin’s? That was… unexpected. Every time before this, she’d had to convince them herself, yet this one came to her. For a moment, she forgot about the other intruder, focused on this man’s declaration of war against her enemies. Ozpin was a tool for them, yes, but… her ultimate enemies had not changed.
Finally, Salem sighed, shutting the door behind her. It had been about a thousand years… Well, fine. She stepped closer to Qrow, within arm’s reach, and… punched him in the face. “Let’s fucking go .”
Qrow grinned, the minor damage repairing immediately as Salem knocked him back onto the bed. Unfortunately, right before they could actually get started-
SCHWING!
“And that’s for seducing my parents,” Blake deadpanned, Yamato gouging a surgically thin line around the entire room while Qrow’s head fell to the floor, the catgirl stepping out of a swirling portal that closed behind her moments later. “Have fun reattaching that when it’s been split by demon magic, idiot. Anywaaaaay…”
She paused, staring at Salem for a moment. “Oh, hey. Nice place you got here. I’m just here to get my girlfriend. Ahem.”
Blake turned away, right out the door. “Weeeeeeiiiisss! It’s time to come home nowwwwww! I baked cookies!”
Qrow’s arms reached out and plucked his head right back up. “I think she forgets my body is less a body and more a mass of viral cells clumped together at my will…” Qrow placed his head back on, only to blink in surprise as it refused to re-attach. “Huh. Magic bullshit, right. Welp, I’m doing this then. It’ll be more fun anyway…” Qrow, rather than simply put his head back on, grew a new body and head from the severed parts.
Salem stared at the two Qrows before her, suddenly very glad she took him up on this. Ozma never did figure out this spell. She pointedly ignored the lesbians wandering about her castle, she had more important things to worry about.
Weiss slammed open the door. “Cookies?” she stared at Blake, before she noticed the two mostly naked Qrows. “Let’s go. Let’s go now, please.” This was definitely near the top of things she never wanted to see, next to Loss and the words ‘you lost the game’.
Chapter 32: Beacon Days - Cookies and Milk
Chapter by Argo_The_Rat, CyberQueen_Jolyne, desolatedsabers, InternecionWitch
Chapter Text
“Mrrph, I forgot how good cookies were,” Blake mumbled quietly, nibbling on a double chocolate chip fudge cookie that she’d pulled fresh out of the oven. “I kinda got so used to not eating sweet things a long time ago that I just… couldn’t really handle them anymore. How are these, by the way? I’m not usually great at all of the precise instructions for baking but I did my best this time.”
“Amazing,” Weiss replied, holding onto the cookie like it was some beautiful piece of art. “Chocolate chip cookies will always be amazing. Especially fresh. Or raw. I will eat raw cookie dough if it's offered.”
“You get my approval. Expect several employment contracts with a blank check tomorrow.” Ruby nibbled on another cookie. “Apparently my approval means a lot. Which makes sense, since I did hunt any company not sufficiently good enough.”
From her spot firmly plastered against the bed with a stomach the size of a medicine ball, Yang shifted so she could at least semi-join in with the conversation. “She did. I always got confused when she said mine were the best, cause some of the other store-bought cookies tasted way better.”
“They’re made with love and care,” Blake shrugged, ears twitching a little as she considered what she just said. “... Which, I mean, you’d usually think that kinda thing is bullshit, but considering you can straight up taste people’s emotions in their Aura I’m starting to think that actually infusing cookies with Aura is just a good idea in general. Seems to work fine here, even if I swear I can taste some kinda spiciness from the demon bits I got in me.”
“Aura is very, very weird. Since it was mostly an accident? I have seen deliberately constructed souls and there is a difference .” Ruby ate three more cookies as she hummed. “I could show you how I made Inkling and Octoling souls, but it’s some very complicated math.”
“I’m pretty shit at pure math, not gonna lie,” Blake grumbled a little, sliding another plate of cookies in Ruby’s direction. Her ear flicked towards the oven she’d apparently dragged into the RWBY dorm, making sure the next batch was well on its way. “I mean, it’s not like I ever got any farther than, what, basic bitch calculus? Anything higher is way out of my wheelhouse. Still, it sounds like it’d be a fun afternoon… even if it’d make my head hurt.”
“It might literally explode your head. Or worse.” Ruby stared at the ceiling and consumed five more cookies. “Turns out that mortals aren’t supposed to know about that? Something about knowing the exact values that predefine your existence causes problems. Or something. I don’t get it.”
“Oh, so like most math classes then.” Weiss shrugged as she grabbed another cookie. “Differential equations were fun but fuck if it didn’t make my head hurt sometimes. We should have stopped when we started using imaginary numbers.”
“I’m a demon, so… it might not blow up my head?” Blake shrugged, then drew Yamato a few inches from its sheath and stared into her reflection. “... I dunno, maybe. Vergil was strong, but I dunno if he was ‘able to comprehend the variables that define a soul’s existence’ strong. And I’m… definitely sure I don’t want my head to explode.”
“I feel like I’m gonna explode.” Yang mumbled softly. She tried for a moment to push herself up, before shaking her head. “Too much pressure. Anyway, the math aint that bad, Ruby’s just dramatic. Even if I forgot most of it, my head didn’t explode. I just couldn’t comprehend all of it after a few minutes.”
“I also did that in the middle of trying to upgrade Ember Celica. After I came.” Ruby chuckled and devoured another seven cookies. “Still haven’t figured out anything fun for them…”
“Ruby’s speeding up.” Yang noted, and then laid her head back down. “Uh oh.”
“... Hm. I only have so many ovens going at one time,” Blake murmured, sliding another plate of cookies in front of Ruby for good measure. “... Either I’m going to cause a wheat famine on Remnant, or I’m going to need to learn how to properly dimension hop in order to get enough ingredients to make enough cookies to satisfy you, Ruby.”
“I can teach you. The math is complicated, but I can spot you so you don’t splash yourself over a square mile while feeling out how to do it.” Ten cookies disappeared. “Which is apparently a big problem? I could just… do it. So…”
“... There’s math involved with dimension hopping?” Blake asked, somewhat idiotically. “Wait, no. Of course there’s math involved. I just… never really think about it that much. Honestly, just swinging Yamato really hard while thinking about where I want to go usually works… fine enough, I think? Makes portals between here and the demon realm just fine… not that I ever did that more than once in this life.”
“Math is involved in everything. It’s just really easy to ignore it because numbers are made up.” Twenty cookies gone. “See? I’ve been making up the number of cookies this entire time. There are still cookies. This stack has not gone down.”
“... Casual matter duplication feels like cheating,” Blake grumbled, watching Ruby’s hands to try and make sense of that little tidbit of knowledge. “Also, kinda feels cheap? Like the amount of effort I put in isn’t really worth much because you can just make more whenever you want.”
“I can make more of everything. I can do practically anything any of you can do. I am an Eldritch Existence capable of creating and supporting an entire plane of reality without feeling any form of strain or irritation.” She shrugged. “Nothing matters. There is no point. Your gods deemed you failures and left. You should go stab them about it and find what meaning you can. It’s not that it doesn’t matter because I can wave my hand and make more, but that it matters more because you can’t and have so little time. You chose to do this and gift it to us. I know exactly how many heartbeats you spent to do so, and I cherish that you believed I was worth each one.”
“... Please don’t make me cry over a plate of cookies,” Blake grumbled, looking exactly like she was about to cry over a plate of cookies. “It’ll ruin the flavor.”
“She gets like this.” Yang huffed from the bed, chuckling softly. “It’s Ruby trying to deal with being one of the very few baby elder things from her Dream still left. Mergo and Ophan are both mostly dead, or at least aren’t in a state to be perceptible even on that level of scale, and Oedon’s bastards aside from Mergo never managed to breathe full life. Partially because of Ruby, but also because Oedon just didn’t understand fragility. She’ll forget about it and then focus on being a parent again the second my stomach isn’t so big.”
“They’re mostly just crying because I kicked their metaphorical teeth in.” Ruby hummed and rocked side to side. “It was fun. I’m still trying to figure out that attack Mergo’s Wet Nurse used. Anyway, it’s meaningful because you assign it meaning. By your very existence you are a light against the cold unfeeling edges of reality. You grant structure and form to the bits of existence that had none, and in doing so breath life into things that did not know they were living. How did that one put you… ‘The brightest sparks in a dark world, doomed to fade sooner than you deserve, but ever more brilliant for it. To breathe life into that which did not believe it had any’.”
Ruby settled back into her chair. “So anyway, who wants to be the next Yang? In a,” she generally waved at the blonde’s predicament, “way instead of any sort of replacement. Because that isn’t ever happening.”
“Love you lots, Rubaby.” Yang laughed, before groaning when her stomach shifted. “Ugh… it hurts to laugh.”
Blake considered Ruby’s words, wiping her eyes a bit to avoid crying all over her next batch of cookie dough, and then looked at the oven. Hm. She pursed her lips, then poked Weiss with her tail. “Weiss, take one for the team. I’m still baking cookies and I refuse to let them burn because I decided to take the next three hours to turn my womb into Ruby’s triple inflated cum bucket.”
“That's definitely a brand new sentence.” Weiss sighed. “When did my life get this crazy? Alright then, but I still want some cookies to be there when we’re done.”
“Absolutely, just pretend I’m not even here,” Blake smiled, patting Weiss on the head. “Now, do you still want more of these or do you have any other cookie preferences? Oh, or other desserts? There’s a lot of stuff I’ve wanted to try but haven’t really experimented with because no one really said anything about wanting them.”
Weiss hummed. “Cookies are always good. Except oatmeal raisin, which should be hit with an orbital rail cannon, and the ashes tossed into the fires of Mount Doom to destroy them for all time.” She put a hand to her face, trying to come up with other ideas. “Otherwise, uh, all deserts are good desserts. Not really the biggest fan of nuts in them though.”
“You like to get your nuts in other ways.” Ruby shot Weiss finger guns. “Ayy.”
“I knew, the moment I said it, someone was going to make a joke.” Weiss put her head in her hands in an attempt to hide her grin. It didn’t work.
“Right, time to get baking then. I’m gonna tryyyyy… who wants tiramisu? I know all of us here already like ladyfingers in our mouths but y’know. This time there’s also coffee and stuff involved,” Blake looked around, waiting to see if anyone would say otherwise. “Ayes? Nays? Alright Weiss, clothes off! You’re gonna get laid and I’m gonna make a shitload of ladyfingers.”
“Aye!” Weiss replied as Ruby began dragging her off to her fate.
“And thus, we watch the Schnee in her natural habitat,” Blake intoned sagely, deliberately mimicking a nature documentary voice whilst starting on a batch of new desserts. “Getting absolutely railed by the local goth top.”
“She’s fucked.” Yang added, before doing her abject best to sit up while not putting pressure on her stomach. It was a lot harder than it looked. “I’ll be honest, better her than me. I love Ruby, I love the things she does, and this being the end result of letting her run wild is great. But having to sit up afterwards or do anything feels impossible.”
“That’s probably because you don’t have any form of regeneration going on,” Blake deadpanned flatly, staring at Yang for a long, considering moment. “... Then again, can’t One Piece characters heal by eating a bunch or is that just the Brazilian crackhead and his equally drug addled friends and/or kidnapees.”
“I can ,” Yang began, before managing to push herself to her feet and feeling her stomach drop, as she stumbled over to the kitchen table and just leaned on it, “and if I really wanted to, I could just transform a bit into my full Dragon form to curb it. But eating after this would just make me throw up from the pressure. So I tend to sleep it off, shower, and then eat. But Ruby being more determined to succeed this time…”
“I get it,” Blake nodded, then held out a hand blazing with violet demonic energy after a moment of mulling it over. “... Wanna see if I can figure out healing magic on the spot?”
“Eh… Maybe in fifteen minutes.” Yang hedged, rubbing her belly with a smile on her face directed at Blake. “I like feeling the weight. It’s just the pressure that sucks. But I’ll get sick of it soon enough, and I’ll be your guinea pig.”
“Fair enough. That’s fifteen minutes I get to figure out what healing magic is,” Blake chuckled, setting a plate of cookies in front of Yang anyway. Just in case she felt like snacking despite the pressure in her gut. “Though, if I figure it out, I should probably test it on myself to see if it works… ah, but natural regeneration takes care of all of the damage I get in the first place… even getting bisected into a bunch of pieces doesn’t work because I usually heal faster than the blade can go through me.”
“I just need to eat. Had more organs frozen over, stretched out, and then dunked in lava until it did me in. Took a lot.” Yang huffed, rubbing her stomach and then frowning. “Hmm. Maybe I should pick up some fishnets. And some purple eyeliner. What do you think, Blake?”
“I think if you wore fishnets and purple eyeliner I’d literally die,” Blake deadpanned. “So, go ahead, I totally wanna see you wearing tight fishnets and purple eyeliner. It’ll be probably the best death in the world.”
“And at least one person will jump me because of it.” Yang finished with a grin. “Just need to find some that’ll fit and not leave marks in my skin, even if it won’t hurt. Maybe a fishnet body sock? And what color purple? Dark purple, violet, or royal purple?”
“Mm… violet. A brighter purple stands out more, but you don’t want it to be too saturated unless you’re going for the heavy goth look,” Blake mused out loud, tapping her chin. “And you’ll want the fishnets with a grid size of… about an inch wide? Anything too small and it just turns into a body mesh, which is still nice, and anything too big risks just kinda looking… too much like an actual fish net. Oh, and you’ll want decently sized strings on the fishnet too, otherwise it kinda doesn’t show well enough.”
She paused, clearing her throat. “... I may have gone fishnet shopping once or twice for reference photos for my art. Just… putting that out there.”
“Then I’ll ask you to hook me up when I need ‘em.” Yang chuckled, and then blew out a sigh with a wince. “Y-eup. Alright. Healing, please.”
“Right… let’s hope this works and doesn’t just do something stupid…” Blake slowly held out her hand, placing it against Yang’s belly with a somewhat premature wince. “Think healing thoughts, think healing thoughts, think healing thoughts, think healing thoughts…”
Her hand flared with demonic light, blazing in violet flames that washed over Yang’s body and… definitely did… something, not that Blake could actually tell what was going on just from looking.
Blowing out a small sigh, Yang shook her head. “Nothin. Just made my nips burn.”
Blake stared, blinking a few times at the little drops leaking from Yang’s nipples. “... Did I just make you lactate…? Wh-”
“YOU WHAT!?”
Chapter 33: Chapter 8: Yang the Parent!?
Chapter by desolatedsabers
Chapter Text
Tapping her fingers against the table in the face of her current situation, Yang’s eye twitched. “Y’know, they don’t actually make bra pads in my size. And I can’t wear wraps anymore, because they’ll just squeeze out more. Is this permanent or temporary?”
Blake, the little shit, did not respond. In fact, she just kinda started sucking harder on Yang’s left nipple like she was starting to get a little desperate to do literally anything except answer Yang’s question. Probably because she didn’t know herself.
“I could stop this. I won’t, but I could.” Ruby gently squeezed one breast. Behind her Weiss was… well. Maybe following Yang. “This is definitely not normal milk. I wonder if it’ll do anything special to anyone not already a demon.”
“Ruby…” Yang sighed as she submitted herself to being fondled and nursed from by her wonderful idiots, shaking her head. “It’s hot, I won’t deny that. But c’mon. You know Inkling tailors can barely accommodate me at the best of times, and it’s not like they can go through this. Because they’d turn into puddles of ink and milk.” She finished, as one of her hands came up to support Blake’s head unconsciously.
“I’m pretty sure they lay eggs? I have no fucking clue.” Ruby shrugged and swirled her… coffee? “It’s not something I thought about other than ‘they should probably be able to do this, but not much’ and then the magic happened. One day I’ll need to know, just to make sure there isn’t an infinite dupe glitch in there or something, but that day is not now.”
“Did you make coffee with my breast milk?” Yang asked in a mildly incredulous tone, blinking owlishly at her first wonderful idiot. “Already? Seriously?”
“Why wait when I can do it now?” Ruby chuckled and took a sip. Then smacked her lips. “There is definitely demon energy in there.”
“Gee, I wonder why,” Blake mumbled, popping off of Yang’s boob just long enough to snark before going back to her self appointed duty of making sure Yang didn’t leak all over the floor. Mostly by chugging her breast milk straight from the tap. “Ugh… good thing I’m not lactose intolerant anymore otherwise I’d be throwing up real bad right now…”
“I appreciate you not having to throw up on me while you throat my fucking titty.” Yang said with a flat tone. But, after a moment, she still gave in with a sigh, leaning back and rubbing Blake directly behind the ears. “The things I do for love… Ruby? I have two legs if you actually want to get that fantasy out of the way.”
“Just making sure. I have no idea how demon energy might affect Yang. Or Weiss. Not that Weiss is going to be trying it right now.” The gravid lump that was the… former heiress to the Schnee Dust Corporation twitched. “But alright, let's do this.”
“Yaaaay, boob sucking buddies~!” Blake cheered lightly, motioning Ruby over while doing her best to talk around a mouthful of dragon woman nipple.
Yang rolled her eyes, but had an indulgent smile on her face as both Ruby and Blake shuffled around on her lap, her free arm slowly wrapping around her sister’s neck and pulling her in close. “Yaaay… two adorable layabouts suckling on my titties until they either run dry or we have to do other stuff today. If you’re gonna bite me, don’t bite too hard, Rubes. Even if your teeth are normal you still bite hard…” She trailed off with a mumble, leaning back and doing her best to just relax.
“Bite me.” Ruby resumed sucking the titty.
“We don’t have anything to do, it’s a weekend and I already have a Doppelganger on grocery duty,” Blake shrugged, doing much the same. There really wasn’t a lot to do at the moment considering how much Yang was producing now that the magic had settled in her boobs. “Mmm~ This is nice…”
The dragon woman slowly blushed as the both of them nursed from her, the sensation new and surprising, even if not particularly uncomfortable. The soft gasps she let out, either from Ruby deciding to gently mess with her, or from a particularly hard suckle, just enhanced the comfortable haze around the three of them. Along with Yang’s delicate hold on the backs of their heads, holding them close to her chest and gently caressing them, it was probably the most she had ever fully relaxed outside of being fucked into a puddle. “Jeez, girls… slow down…”
“No.” Ruby hummed as she gently sucked at the nipple. “Odd you have so much though. Does regeneration make you produce milk faster?”
“Hrmgphgdsfhg,” Blake replied elegantly, being… much less composed about having a faceful of Yang titty than Ruby was. Small wonder, considering she was buried face first in a boob almost out-massing her torso.
“Mphf… Maybe?” Yang said, shaking her head with a mildly confused frown. “I don’t really know. I don’t think Blake gave me regeneration. Just milky tits. Maybe it’s because of the whole… Dragon God thing?”
“Well it isn’t me at least. Probably. I don’t think I have any powers there…” Ruby hummed, stopping halfway through a deep suck. “Maybe I should try to bless a wedding or a birth or something…”
“Eastern type dragons are associated with rain, rivers, water in general, floods, and fertility, among a lot of other things,” Blake finally decided to stop leaving her drool all over Yang’s titty in favor of actually saying something coherent after the last several minutes of nonstop sucking and drinking. “Devil Fruits work by conceptual embodiment and wishful thinking. You’re a dragon who’s been thinking nonstop about getting pregnant for literally years now. Pretty sure all my magic did was trick your body into lactating without getting pregnant first. I may or may not have been thinking boob thoughts instead of regeneration thoughts when I cast that spell, so… yeeeaahhh…”
“Oh. So I’m gonna be stuck like this.” Despite her attempt at sounding angry, Yang’s goofy smile gave away that she felt pleased by this development. “Well… I guess that’s not too bad. But if you two are gonna sit there and drink from my boobs, at least rub my belly too. Or I’ll get mad.” Her grin was just a touch mean as she gently pulled the both of them back in, rubbing Blake’s ears, and Ruby’s hair tentacles happily.
“Maybe. I can turn it off. Later. Eventually. Maybe. If I feel like it.” Ruby gave a severely exaggerated shrug. “Probably not. I’ll find a magic pump or something somewhere.”
“Hrmgphdss,” Blake replied, no longer speaking coherently. Still, at least she actually did start rubbing Yang’s belly just for good measure.
And the shiver she got in response, along with an odd… sound would really be the best way to describe whatever came out of Yang’s throat, told her it was the smart thing to do. “Oh I like that. Keep doing that.”
“As you wish.” Ruby’s hand joined Blake’s though… straying a lot further down on occasion.
“Ah-” The gasps forced out from the dragon woman matched the odd noises, mixing into an odd mishmash of sound that coiled around the room. The leg twitches that would follow Ruby’s wandering hands actually had the added effect of bouncing Yang’s legs, drawing both her and Blake further into Yang’s embrace. All in all, very fun.
Life is good for Team R_BY.
“Thank you for the help, Miss Goodwitch.” Yang quietly mumbled as she walked out of the woman’s office, shifting in place to adjust to the new additions to her bra.
She’s not sure what was more embarrassing. Having to go to someone for help, or having to speak to one of the women Uncle Qrow was interested in for help regarding her breasts.
Maybe she will punch Blake. Probably not. Then again, sitting on her was on the table. But that wasn’t much of a punishment. But… no.
She doesn’t hear Miss Goodwitch’s reply, and instead she frog marched her way through the halls, looking for two, three because Weiss woke up and joined on in after Blake stopped.
And she found them swiftly, putting her hands on her hips as she stared at her idiots with the flattest look possible, in the center of the courtyard next to the fountain. “Well, that’s dealt with, and I think I’m cross with the three of you. Mostly Blake and Ruby, but you still joined in after, Weiss.”
“You know I could have solved this if you asked me, right?” Ruby raised a finger with a questioning look. “I do know people and places. You’re big, but you aren’t Holstaurus big.”
“Most of those ladies don’t even wear shirts!” Yang whined as she bent at the waist, pouting. “And I dunno about you but I don’t want to rock the overalls and suspenders look. Even if I could.”
“It was an example. There are discreet ways for them to keep themselves from leaking you know.” Ruby huffed. “Not all of them decide to be farm girls or whatever. One of them does my taxes.”
“Wait, who the hell do you pay taxes to? You’re the creator of an entire species.” Weiss was stunned. “Or is it just a law of the universe for there to be death and taxes?”
“I apologize for literally nothing,” Blake deadpanned, looking like the self-satisfied smug cat that she was. She was even grinning just like a shitty smug cat. “Also yeah why do you need to do taxes?”
“I invest. She lives off the main road of a well known adventurer town and I have money in some of the businesses there. Sometimes it’s good to be well known as an eccentric rich merchant when it comes to getting some of the stuff I use.” Ruby rolled her eyes. “Plus it’s not ‘taxes’ so much as ‘tribute’ to the elder dragon that runs the place. Just… she is the government so it’s taxes. Nice lady, honestly. Very eager.”
“Dragons and government, name a more iconic duo…” Blake murmured, tapping her chin. “... Is it weird that I’d trust one giant dragon to run a city than I would like, any amount of actual trained politicians?”
“She's immensely greedy but also knows that she gets more money over a long period of time than by trying to squeeze. So it all works out.” Ruby waved a hand and turned to the side. “I should visit her, honestly. It’s been… a while? Figuring out the time differential is annoying. Wonder if she managed to have any kids yet. She’s been trying really hard but doesn’t seem to realize that she’s a lesbian.”
“You’ve been visiting dragons that aren’t me?” Yang asked with a dangerous glint in her eyes.
“... Trying really hard… lesbian…” Blake furrowed her brow. “... What, did she forget that two coochies don’t generally fertilize like that?”
“I’m not sure if she forgot or just doesn’t know . Not that anyone wants to actually tell her, even if she is really reasonable about that sort of thing.” She turned back to Yang. “Yes, I visit dragons. They’re everywhere. Like humans. Or cats. Of course I’m friends with a few. Killed a few more. There was this one jackass… called himself something really stupid and edgy. Something about a dragon orb or something? Stole a bunch of powers. Mortal… flap? I dunno. It was stupid. I stabbed him thirty-seven times with a knife.”
“Don’t get cute with me, Ruby.” Yang squinted, before dropping down beside Ruby just to squish up against her. “I thought I was your main Dragon squeeze. You’ve been seeing another useless lesbian dragon on the side? Or not the side, but… bleh.”
“... Do I count as a dragon, technically?” Blake asked, scratching her cheek awkwardly and flicking her fingers before shifting into her Sin Devil Trigger with a flare of energy. “I mean… a few scales, armor plates… bat wings, tail… cat ears… horns…”
“I don’t think so.” Weiss looked her up and down, her eyes settling a little longer than necessary on Blake’s backside. “I mean, a Tortoise and Turtle are pretty similar but that doesn’t make them the same. You just have some reptilian features.”
“You are my main dragon squeeze? When was that in doubt? I always come back to you and I literally just said I couldn’t remember how long it’s been since I’ve seen this other lady.” Ruby sighed and rubbed the back of her head. “I’ll just… get you some magic nipple clamps. Or… something. Are your nipples pierced? Do you want them pierced? I could get something on a piercing. Hm… also should check in on Pyrrha and Five. I think they’re out in Splatsville now?”
“You were literally just-... No, my nips aren’t pierced. And no I don’t really want them pierced yet. Maybe further down the line.” Yang shook her head, before huffing and cuddling Ruby. “And I would like something to keep me from leaking too bad. Maybe not clamps if you can avoid it, but if you have some magic nip tape or something I think I could rock the Xs over my titties. Do that up with the fishnets I need to find and some goth makeup and it’d probably kill Blake.”
“It would,” Blake agreed, once more normal again.
“I know just the place.” And Ruby was gone in mist.
Holding her breasts after Ruby poofed away, Yang blinked before chuckling softly. “Well played, Ruby. Well played, indeed.”
“... No but seriously though, I know I’m a demon but like… I’ve clearly got more than a few traits usually associated with dragons, and people always say that dragons are just big scaly cats, so like…” Blake wiggled her hand back and forth. “Do you think I can technically sneak in under like a technicality or something? Being called a dragon sounds badass.”
“Hmm.” Yang hummed, before shrugging and scooching over to wrap an arm around Blake. “We’ll just say yeah unless someone else who actually knows demons tells us what you are. How’s that sound?”
“Do we actually know anyone that knows about demons? Is that an official field? Demonology…” Weiss shook her head. “Anyway, I’d think Blake is the one here that actually knows the most… Therefore, since she says she's a dragon, she is a dragon…”
“Sweet, I’m a dragon!” Blake cheered, snuggling up against Yang happily. “I’ve always wanted to be a dragon. Also… I don’t think Demonology is real, but I do still have that occult tome of demon summoning shit that I used to uh…”
She paused, furrowing her brow.
“... Y’know I just realized that if I could find a copy of a demon summoning tome as a twelve year old trawling through the old book section of a small town library, it stands to reason that there’s a lot more of those books circulating around, and they uh… might not be so… stupid as I was.”
“Huh. wonder if that’ll bite us in the ass.” Yang mumbled, then frowned. “Ruby did mention that something weird was going on with Pyrrha.”
“Frankly, if it didn’t bite us in the ass I’d call it the most cosmic form of plot armor imaginable,” Blake deadpanned, vaguely waving out and sort of motioning in the direction of Vale. “C’mon. You can’t tell me that with a Grimm cult running around and Cinder doing Cinder things, someone’s not gonna try to summon a demon army. God I hope nobody finds those Proto Angelos and Scudo Angelos Urizen just left all over the goddamn place because apparently my demon half doesn’t know what organization is…”
She shuddered, shaking her head. “And god help us all if I have to fight Cavaliere Angelo because that is just going to be so awkward.”
“Should we try and go look for another tome or something?” Weiss pointed a thumb over her shoulder to the city behind her. “It, might help? Or it might be something fun to read at three AM. Or it’ll do some secret third thing we have to spend a day dealing with.”
“Ehhh, nah.” Yang waved a hand, shaking her head. “If there is another one, demonic energy tends to repel itself until the area has shifted enough because of it. Dante could get around that through brute force, but he had to know Demons were in the area first. Sensing demons is apparently harder than just going somewhere and feeling really hard, y’know? Or at least, that’s what I got from DMC.”
“The books are inert, actually. It’s the rituals that do… weird shit. And Dante is an idiot who can’t sense demonic energy worth shit because he spent most of his life denying his own heritage,” Blake huffed irritably, crossing her arms. “Sensing demons is easy. Mostly. I might have forgotten a few key points of it because I haven’t had to literally ever in this life.”
“Right.” Yang smirked, shaking her head at Blake’s still very powerful irritation at her past self’s brother. “Still, that’d make finding the books harder too. We didn’t really feel much of fuck all while finding those ritual circles in Beacon itself, and I doubt we’d just stumble over a clearing with three of the things in full view.”
“Probably not, no,” Blake sighed, slumping a little. “Ah well. Nothing to do but wait until a plot inciting incident happens. Or go out and cause one ourselves. Gonna need a Railgun for that one, though…”
“Who am I railgunning? And when?” Weiss stared at Blake with a feral look in her eyes, her railgun and shotgun already in her hands. “I recommend the nuke for anything you want blown up and don’t want to look at for too long.”
Blake stared. “... Y’know, sometimes I forget you actually have a railgun. But no, I’m talking a capital R, Railgun. The green kind. That blow people’s heads off dramatically.”
“Ohhh. Right.” Weiss dropped her weapons back into a set of Glyphs. “You know, it definitely feels like I had one of those… Deja Vu. Anyway, we could probably ask Ruby to make one. Or kidnap someone from Schnee R&D, they always cook up insane ideas.” Weiss squinted as she started thinking. “Doesn’t Penny have something kinda similar? Do you think we can just ask her dad for one?”
“... I mean, if we meet her randomly, sure,” Blake slowly nodded, rubbing her chin before huffing quietly. “The point is, figuring out where all those other demon summoning tomes are is gonna be a pain in the ass, and who knows which ones of those rituals actually works. Because lemme tell you, once I fused with Vergil, I realized a lot of those ritual circles had misspelled components.”
“Riiiight.” Yang drawled with a smile, before humming. “Hey, remind me. Did Penny have sisters?”
“... Not that I know of. Why, did you stumble across a fleet of multicolored robots shouting Salutations at you?” Blake asked somewhat sarcastically, looking at Yang with a raised eyebrow.
“Nah, a fleet of multicolored robot girls shouted ‘Our Sincerest Apologies!’ at the top of their mechanical lungs before trying to take a chunk out of my hide.” Yang hummed, before shrugging. “They didn’t hit me bad enough to scar me, but they’ve been getting stronger and stronger every time I flew near Atlas. Or Mantle. It’s been funny scaring the piss out of Atlas though, so I keep doing it. The robot girls are cute, at least.”
“Maybe I’m biased, but robot girls are always cute.” Weiss remarked. “Or extremely hot. Always one of the two.” She hummed before she processed the rest of what Yang just said. “Wait a whole fleet of multicolored robot girls? Like power rangers? Are you a monster of the week for them?”
“Might as well be. I think they were made after my rampage against the Atlesian military, or at least Penny’s original plans were modified. Had a weird nightmare dream after that. Didn’t really think about it. They stop chasing me when I turn back and let myself plummet to the forest floor, so it’s fine. And they haven’t followed me past Mistral.” Yang shrugged, pulling out a juice carton and popping it open to sip at it. “I’m sure they’re nice girls when they aren’t trying to shoot at you.”
“... We’re… probably gonna have to deal with that later,” Blake grimaced a little, shaking her head. “Here’s hoping all of them share enough of the same autism that Ruby can just rizz them up all at once. If anyone could seduce a whole fleet of robot girls, it’d probably be her.”
“Maybe.” Yang hummed back, chugging back her juice. Smacking her lips, she paused, before frowning. “Hey, weird question. You ever have a weird dream involving an old guy praying in the middle of a lab with like nine and a half robot shells around him, and he’s begging for more strength to help his daughters so you’re like ‘man, wish I could help’. And then he glows gold, jumps to his feet, and crows about how ‘it worked, it worked, the divine inspiration took hold!’ And then he wakes up one of those robots. Only it’s not a robot girl, it’s a robot robot. I dunno.”
“No, definitely not.” Weiss stared at Yang. “What the fuck are you talking about? I mean I guess that could be a dream, I’ve dreamt of some weird things before. Including tiramisu once? I don’t remember writing that in my dream journal but it was there so…”
“... Yang I think you accidentally helped make Penny and… I’m gonna guess her sisters in this whole thing,” Blake deadpanned. “So. If any of them are strong enough to kick our collective asses… which, I’m going to hope that they’re not, because that would mean that somehow Pietro Polendina somehow created ten robots capable of, theoretically, cracking the planet in half, and it’d be all your fault.”
“H-hey! They’re strong but they haven’t done more than knock off a couple of my scales before now.” Yang defended herself, crossing her arms. “And what, I’m just not supposed to feel bad for the old man literally praying on his fucking knees so he can bring his daughters to life!? Even if it kills him!? I can respect that as a motivation!”
“I’m not saying you did a bad thing, I’m just saying that if I get kicked in my currently metaphorical testicles by a peppy robot girl, it’s gonna be your fault that they’re like that,” Blake continued to deadpan flatly, patting Yang’s shoulder with a gentle huff.
“Does that mean you owe Pietro child support?” Weiss wondered aloud. “Even if they can crack the planet in half they probably won't, these are Penny’s sisters after all… I’m pretty sure they’d cry if they stepped on a ladybug or something.”
“I hope I don’t owe Pietro child support.” Yang frowned at the thought, before tilting her head. “I’m also not really welcome in Atlas or Mantle right now. So I wouldn’t be able to meet him or my… kids? Clones? Aura children? Iunno what they’d count as, but now I’m actually minorly worried about Ruby seducing all of them.”
“I’d think you’d qualify as their patron?” Weiss offered. “They don’t really make words for whatever the fuck you’ve stumbled into doing.” Weiss put her hand on Yang’s shoulder. “Ruby is definitely going to seduce them. There’s no stopping it, it's a law of the universe. The sooner you accept that the easier it will be.”
“Fuuuck.” Yang hanged her head, clenching her fists dramatically. “But I don’t want them to be part of Ruby’s harem. It’d be awkward. I can’t believe I’m saying that!”
“There there, Yang. It’s only more weird pseudo-incest,” Blake patted Yang’s other shoulder. “I mean, you’re already fucking your literal, actual, biological…ish… half sister. What’s Ruby trying to impregnate a bunch of robots that probably only have a tiny fraction of your Aura signature?”
“It’s Ruby trying to impregnate what counts as her technical nieces after knocking up their mother? Or trying to knock me up, anyway. Maybe.” Yang grumbled quietly, folding her arms. “I don’t know. Ruby’s… weird. She just shot right up to being an adult when puberty hit and things have been weird since then. Even if nothing weird really happened until later on. And the idea of me having kids of any sort that I didn’t know about, and Ruby seducing them, is just… Iunno. On paper I know she’d do it, and in practice she would too. It’s just the image in my head of me alongside them that’s weird. Cause Ruby’s perfectly fine having a great big bed for her lovers.”
“I mean, you could just talk to her about it?” Weiss proposed. “Communication seems like a healthy thing for any relationship, including whatever the hell you two have going on. I don’t think she’d mind.”
“Communication is the most important part of a relationship,” Blake nodded along with Weiss. “Which is why I’m jack shit awful at relationships half the time. I’m fucking awful at keeping partners apprised of my mental health, honestly.”
She paused, clearing her throat. “Ignore that last part.”
“I will use my dragon god powers to make sure you have good mental health, don’t think I won’t.” Yang quickly said, before sighing and putting her arm back around Blake. “Still, I just… I dunno. Ruby wants to have children because of what she is now, and because of Yharnam being obsessed with Motherhood. And I don’t actually want to think about what they did with anything relating to birth over there because that way lies madness and the heebie-jeebies. Anyway, Ruby’s desire to have kids is more than just baby fever, and I don’t want to hurt her by forbidding her from being affectionate to other lovers while I’m there, even if it’s only some. Y’know?”
“Then the only thing to do is just… talk it out. Compromise,” Blake shrugged, leaning against Yang softly. “That’s all any of us can do, even when we’re the most powerful things in existence.”
“Yeah… Yeah.” Yang nodded, closing her eyes as she did. Before immediately opening them and grinning. “Anyway, with that heavy crap outta the way for now, wanna go get something to eat? Or are you still full?” Her grin took a mildly lewd tilt as she bounced her chest in Blake’s direction.
“...” Blake stared at Yang’s chest, as if struck dumb like the absolute disaster lesbian she was. “Uh- guh. Buh. Weh.”
“Heh. Works like a charm. Weiss, you wanna come get food?” Yang leant over to ask the cyborg girl.
“Not today, I’ve been meaning to try and practice summoning.” Weiss dismissed her with a wave. “Later, have fun doing lesbian stuff Blake.”
“G’byyyyyye~”
“I seem to be stuff.” Yang grinned as she picked up Blake over her shoulder and carried her off. Ruby would find them when she got back, anyway.
And Yang got to ignore the fact that she was technically a parent again until Penny and her sisters inevitably showed up to Vale.
Life was (probably) good for Yang Xiao-Long. Maybe.
She was ready to be a parent at seventeen or eighteen but having nine kids, or ten, is kind of ridiculous. How does she even call Pietro?
… She’ll find out.
Chapter 34: Beacon Days- Wine Dipped Evening (Ruby 8)
Chapter by Argo_The_Rat, CyberQueen_Jolyne
Chapter Text
“So this is where they ended up.” Ruby looked up at the largest hotel in Splatsville, where Pyrrha decided to stay with Five after working as roadies on Off the Hook’s tour. Or maybe they just decided to be groupies. It wasn’t like tracking them was a priority or anything. It wasn’t like either of them could actually die here, even if the Splatlands made it a much more likely prospect than basically anywhere else. “Feel like interrupting them?”
“I dunno, I’ve never been fond of being a cockblock,” Blake murmured, idly fingering the hilt of Yamato before shrugging. “Then again, they’ve been gone for a week now and I’m pretty sure Professor Goodwitch is starting to get pissed that half of team JNPR is basically AWOL in the middle of the semester. Not that first semester in first year ever teaches anything but the shit that the peaked-in-combat-academy guys need remedials on… and basic public school history, for some reason.”
“Remnant doesn’t exactly have the best schooling system, and it does allow people like Ren and Nora to attend without issue. Going over the bare basics makes sense in that light.” Ruby pushed into the lobby and completely ignored the receptionist. Instead just heading up the stairs toward where she could feel Five and Pyrrha’s room was. “Now let’s get them before Pyrrha finds out she has a B on her report card for the first time in her life.”
WHAM!
“A B!?” Ruby blinked at the suddenly open door a bit in front of her. Pyrrha leaned out of it, panting heavily and completely naked. She looked surprisingly good for being sweaty and nude after, presumably, days of raunchy sex? Like… it should be illegal to still look model level after banging for something like two days straight. How the fuck? “Darling! We need to go!”
“Mmmggh…” Now that… that was a sound Ruby had only heard a few times before. Mostly from Yang. Most recently from Weiss. The sound of someone fucked so hard and stuffed so full that actually moving was impossible. Damn. Didn’t know Pyrrha had it in her.
“... Wow, it straight up smells like the inside of a used condom in there,” Blake deadpanned, wrinkling her nose slightly and leaning away from the now wide open door. She peeked inside against her better judgement and… “Oh. Cool. It looks like the inside of a used condom too. Fucking gods, girl, have you ever heard of aiming? It’s on the ceiling!”
“I did aim. I always hit exactly what I want to, and if I stuffed Five any more it’d start to hurt her.” Pyrrha settled back with a small blush. Still naked. Her dick… very much looking like it was ready for another round the instant she saw Five. “My lotus doesn’t deserve being hurt by me.”
“You aimed like you switched your spray pattern from target shooting to cover fire,” Blake shot back, fanning her face and shaking her head. “Because you definitely covered her in your uh… fire. Anyway are you guys like, ready to come back to Beacon yet? And did Five pick out an actual name or did you fuck her so hard she has even fewer memories than she did like, a week ago?”
“Only you have to come back to Beacon, by the way. Five is still on her extended absence leave.” Ruby rubbed her chin. “Though if she stays out too much longer she might not finish out the semester and have to retake. Depends on Ozpin and whether or not she can actually pass the rest of the classes. I only gave her help with leadership and fighting.”
“I suppose I should… though, Ruby.” Pyrrha blushed and kept her gaze rooted on Five, who was very obviously swollen and similarly naked. “Will I be able to… keep this?”
“Yes.” Ruby tilted her head as she stared at Five. “Were you trying to get her pregnant?”
“Not… intentionally? I’d want us to have a house and some money saved up first. Maybe meet her family.” Pyrrha sighed. “Someplace like Patch, maybe, or Menagerie, if I could even get a house there- being human. Away from Grimm and the big business tournaments and such.”
“So… Five?” A low groan showed she could at least hear. “What do you think about that.”
“Suuure… ughh.” Five gently rubbed her stomach. “Pyrrha… why’d you stooop?”
“... I could vouch you a house there,” Blake murmured, tapping her chin lightly. “Buuuut the trip sucks by sea or air, it’s really far away from the other Kingdoms so the CCT connection is pretty ass during wild weather periods… which means summer monsoons, winter storms, spring winds, and fall heat… and the shipping routes are slow as hell and half the time if you wanna buy something online Hinoki.co doesn’t even ship down there so you have to send it to a carrier facility in south Mistral and hope it gets there in the next six months, plus all the desert Grimm that keep trying to knock down a path through the forest to start setting Kuo Kuana on fire… Oh, and pretty much everyone is gonna be mildly suspicious of you because you’re kinda famous? So. I mean, they’d get used to you pretty fast, but there’s not a lot of non-Faunus who make the trip down, and even then, they’re usually tied to some Faunus as their spouse or adopted sibling or something… and I guess Five counts now but… yeah. Menagerie is not a good choice.”
“Huh…” Pyrrha paused for a moment. “Did you know… this is the longest period I’ve gone without being called by someone in five years? Promoters, advertisers, mob grunts, and every idiot who wants to try their luck. All call me, personally. I have an agent, but my scroll number is semi-public because it has to be on the tournament documents in case they need to call me. Officially those don’t get seen by anyone, but you know how that works. So a place where they couldn’t call me? Sounds perfect.”
“Mgh… We can… we can do stuff. Deal.” Five shifted in place… as much as she could. “Look at Patch first. Maybe other places. Gotta be some other islands or whatever.”
“Have you managed to regain the memories you want, Five? I can give the rest back.” Ruby hummed and rubbed her neck. “I didn’t intend for that to happen. Didn’t know that Nantai or Tartar or whatever could even do that. Craig called me after. Don’t worry about anything else to do with that place, Iso Padre and the rest are out of the station and anyone too far gone has been put to rest.”
“If you want to avoid Grimm, the adoring public, big business tournaments, and the rigors of being Pyrrha Nikos…” Blake vaguely waved behind her. “I hear Inkopolis always has new apartment buildings going up, and Splat Battling pays well enough even if you don’t go mega pro. Or Salmon Run. Speaking of, Ruby. Do you mind if I go do a solo run? I’m…. getting some cravings…”
“Go ahead. GrizzCo has a location here, and you’re already all signed up.” Ruby gestured at the open window. “Shouldn’t be too hard to find. I need to get a few things settled here.”
“I can’t just leave.” Pyrrha stood tall, her obviously musculature standing out as she tensed at the thought of leaving. “Here is… amazing, truly, but Remnant needs me. There is something there I’m meant to do and I will not shy away from that.”
“... Fine, I guess?” Blake shrugged, patting Pyrrha’s shoulder. “Just remember, before you pick Menagerie: The mosquitos get really fucking bad in the summer and fall. It’s genuinely halfway unlivable. Anyway, before I revisit my stupid mosquito related trauma… I’m going to go personally halve the local salmon population. Byyyyyeeee~!”
And without another word, she flashed out of existence like she’d never been there at all, the only sign of her passing being the literal slice in the fabric of the world that she left behind on her way to GrizzCo.
“The mosquitos are quite bad.” Ruby pat Pyrrha on the head. “I doubt you’d have much problem, and Five is basically immune to them. Also, Five, have you actually figured out a name?”
“No. I haven’t… really had time? And… I like Five. It means something now.” Five took in a deep breath. “My memories? Hm… keep them. I… want to get them back like I should have. I know everything I need to remember right now. Well… except how to marry someone. I know how Inkopolis does it, but…”
“FIVE!” Pyrrah jumped forward to hug her… wife? Fiancee? A week of sex isn’t quite an official statement of marriage in Inkopolis, but it sure makes that actual doing of it easier. “Of course I’ll marry you!”
“Was that really you popping the question? Really?” Five swallowed and nodded. “Well. Congrats. I’ll get you something nice, maybe an apartment. Or a house.”
Pyrrha actually looked up at that. “I already said-”
“Your gods abandoned the world in the single worst drunk driving incident I’ve ever heard of. There is no destiny, death was an accident, and you aren’t special.” Ruby waved a hand. “There are important people, but you aren’t one of them and you aren’t in line to become one of them. Remnant does not need you. At best it needs the idea of you, but you? You are free to do what you wish.”
“That… was a lot to drop on me… just so I’d accept a house.” The bed shook as Pyrrha sat down. “I think I need a minute.”
“That’s the usual reaction, yeah.” Ruby shrugged. “So, Five, anything you want me to do for you? I could upgrade Crocea Mors. Maybe get you some nice clothes.”
“That’d be great, thanks.” A hand slid up Pyrrha’s arm as Five tried to give what support she could. While being too filled with cum to actually, you know, hug her.
“I’ll get to it.” Maybe also take some time to check Three and Eight. And Four. Mostly Three and Eight though. Four was so pretentious for some reason… Three and Eight, on the other hand, were what she’d want her kids to be like. For all that they were very different personality wise, they were both absolute monsters in the best way. “Haah… days like this I can see why Mergo’s Wet Nurse was such a fucking nut.”
With that she disappeared into mist. Back to Inkopolis. Now where was the best place to buy a house?
“Whoashit-!”
Whoops, and there was Blake, sprawled out on the ground and groaning while she pulled her face off of the concrete. “Owwww… okay… note to self… trying to slice causality in half to do technically time travel hurts way worse than just making a pocket dimension or doing time stop… Oh hey Ruby… I uh… ow. Think I tripped on a time rock or something, that was not a smooth landing…”
“What did you try to do this time? Because time and space don’t work right here.” Mostly because Ruby was the one controlling them. So they didn’t really… stay the same, always. Right now things were one to one and space was mostly as it should be, but that wasn’t always how she left it. Slicing through could be very, very bad if things suddenly changed in the middle of it. Might need to avoid messing with things too much while Blake’s around.
“Causal loop stitch, basically,” Blake grumbled, finally standing up and brushing herself off. “Finished a Salmon Run, then decided to slice myself out of linear time so I could show up a few minutes later and be cool… anchored the endpoint to you, but I’m guessing you changed locations at some point? I really don’t have the words to describe what the fuck just happened but all I know is that I’m pretty sure I was inside out for a solid few milliseconds and that really did not feel good.”
“Maybe don’t try to anchor anything to a literal eldritch abomination. That’s an even worse idea than trying to go through space here normally. You may end up taking something from the experience you don’t want.” Maybe. It wasn’t like this sort of thing was ever actually tested. Accidentally granting any power to someone was… maybe it could happen? Maybe. Best not try, at any rate. “So how’d the Salmon Run go?”
“I got… so much Salmon,” Blake grinned, and then flickered for a moment before showing off an entirely new outfit. “And I bought that heavy duty Slopsuit I was saving up for! It’s cute! Also, why would I anchor to literally anything other than the literal goddess who tries to get me pregnant? You’re like, the brightest star in the entire dream here. Y’know?”
“Not a god. Gods are assholes, and I refuse to be anything like them.” Ruby sighed. That… well it was nice, but also. “Do you want ink hair? Because that's how you get ink hair. I’m young so it isn’t too dangerous now, but as I get older it will get increasingly more dangerous to do things like that. And it isn’t without risk even now.”
“... I think I’ll pass on having ink for hair,” Blake shook her head, rubbing at her octo-hairstyle like it was her normal hair. “For now, at least. But… thanks for the offer. I’d apologize for calling you a goddess, but seeing as you’re not an asshole I think that just makes you worth the worship.”
She paused, then cleared her throat. “I can think of worse ways to spend a few hours on my knees in front of you with my mouth open, at least. Soooo… wanna go back to the dorm and I can spend a few hours between your legs?”
“Sure. Maybe you can try to get me pregnant. It would be nice… I wonder if I’d lactate ink. If I can lactate at all…” Ruby huffed and shook her head. No use wondering about it.
Blake grinned. “Hell yeah! Let’s go!”
Chapter 35: Beacon Days- New Invention (Weiss 8)
Chapter Text
Weiss focused on the Glyph in front of her. It was spinning rapidly, and it looked like for a brief moment there was some sort of paw about to crawl out of it. Unfortunately it didn’t last. The Glyph shattered, knocking over a couple of chairs in the courtyard.
Weiss sighed. “Attempt number, whatever I lost count yesterday…” She muttered to herself, exhaustion leaking from every syllable. “At least the nap helped. Or does it count as going to bed? Whatever.”
Another Glyph spun up in front of her, before it fizzled out. What was the point? This clearly wasn’t working. “I need a new approach…”
“To do what?” Ruby appeared as if from a dream. Which was… actually completely expected. “I just finished getting Pyrrha settled and Five… isn’t coming back for a bit more. So… what are you trying to do?”
“The Schnee Glyphs, whatever they are exactly, allow you to summon defeated foes.” Weiss explained. “Which basically means if I killed it, or helped kill it, before then I should be able to recreate it and get it to fight for me.”
Another Glyph spun up in front of Ruby. This time an Ursa paw managed to claw its way out before it shattered. “Unfortunately that keeps happening… Apparently it's supposed to be hard, it was in canon at least, but I just can’t get it.” Weiss vented.
“Do you want to summon your defeated foes? I used their remains to make more guns instead. Perhaps you should look into doing something differently.” Ruby hummed and stared at the place where the Glyph had appeared. “Or… the connection isn’t right. It depends on how you summon them. Perhaps you don’t summon your defeated foes at all, those are simply the things that stand in your mind strongly enough to be summoned. What exactly do you do when summoning? Do you bring them to mind, linger over the details? Focus on your victory to pull them forth? Or…?”
“If I recall correctly, something about it might be your motivation. Maybe summoning for the sake of summoning isn’t enough,” Blake appeared, as if she’d fallen out of a slice in reality. Which she had, given the portal that just closed behind her. “Maybe you’ll be able to summon more easily if you’re in danger? Or if you’re trying to protect someone else but can’t quite reach in time? Though… then again, with how strong all four of us are… that might actually prevent you from summoning, come to think of it.”
“I mean it’s…” Weiss paused as she tried to find the words. “I try to imagine every detail I can, see it in my own head. I just stuck with Grimm because it's what Winter can do and I figure if she can I can too… And I almost can, you saw that paw. But it's… It's like I can see the drawing in my own head, but I just can’t get it onto the paper. If that makes sense.”
She ran her hand over her face. “At this point I’m willing to try just about anything to make this work. If you think tossing me off a skyscraper will help you’re welcome to try it. I don’t think it's a motivation problem though, I really want to summon Nevermore wings for myself.” She’d finally be able to fly on her own if she could. Or glide at least.
“I was just gonna try and stab you a lil bit to see if the panic response would draw out any latent powers,” Blake deadpanned, holding Yamato aloft. “I mean, stabbing worked great for everyone in my old family. Me, Dante, Nero…”
She shrugged. “I dunno. Wanna see if getting stabbed in the gut by a demonic sword capable of severing reality itself will help?”
Weiss squinted, clearly thinking about it. “Hmmm. Sounds like a terrible idea with lots of safety questions. Let's do it. Try and avoid my lungs, I like those. If you need to hit an organ go for the liver, that can heal. Probably. If your sword can cut reality itself and stop it from coming together again that might do something…” She shrugged. “Whatever, I trust you.”
“... Honestly I wasn’t expecting you to agree but if you’re sure…” Blake grimaced a little, holding her sword in a ready position before flaring with demonic energy and activating her Sin Devil Trigger. “Try not to move too much. It’ll only hurt way more if you twitch.”
“Hun, I am the queen of doing dumb stuff. And like I said, I’m willing to try anything.” Weiss held out her arms as a black Glyph spun up underneath her, locking her to the floor as best it could.
“I feel like I should object, but getting stabbed and getting back up worked for me. Usually in murdering the person who stabbed me, but it worked.” Ruby shrugged. “Maybe stop trying to do what your sister did? You aren’t her. Try to project claws or something. Or teeth. Summons would slow you down, so take what you need to take. Hm… you beat the shit out of one of the CRDL boys, right? Maybe you could project their weapon.”
“Too late, already committed!” Weiss called out with a feral grin on her face. “Maybe after!”
“This is a terrible idea, but…” Blake shrugged, surging forward fast as lightning, blinking out of existence so quickly that Weiss…
Didn’t even notice that she’d been stabbed until Blake was already right in front of her, Yamato embedded tsuba- deep in her gut with the majority of the silver blade sticking out behind her in a cut so deep and fine that there wasn’t even a single drop of blood staining the demonic steel.
“If you explode, I’m really, really sorry about this,” Blake whispered, and then flooded the blade with demonic power like a violent, swirling, violet wildfire that engulfed Weiss from head to toe in an instant.
It hurt. It hurt a fucking lot. It tasted like Kaiju Blue somehow, although maybe that was just her brain trying to translate whatever the hell she was feeling into something she actually knew. This was not a good idea. She should never have done this.
She could feel the Yamato going directly through her, coming out on the other end. She looked down at it, It didn’t help. It might have actually made the feeling worse. “I don’t think this is working.” She managed to get out through gritted teeth.
She couldn’t focus on any kind of Glyph. She couldn’t really focus on anything except the pain. Which thankfully was being dulled somewhat by the adrenaline being released into her veins. But it was more like using duct tape to fix a hole in a submarine. Why couldn’t the mad scientists that designed her prosthetics have given her a morphine injector like Gordan Freeman?
Despite all of that, though, the pain really… didn’t stop. It just kinda kept going until the demonic power faded, and Blake pulled Yamato back out of Weiss with a whisper smooth movement so quick and precise that, once again, she didn’t feel it until Blake was already shoving a Red Orb past her lips. Then again, considering how much everything else hurt, maybe it just felt like nothing compared to the rest of the pain.
“Are you okay? Do you feel any stronger? Did the demon magic do anything to you? God please tell me it didn’t just make you lactate again I swear that was supposed to be a one time thing-”
Weiss just collapsed forward into Blake's arms. “I- I don’t know. I think… I think I can feel it? I think it's settled into the creases and wrinkles of my mind, body and soul. The demonic energy I mean.” It felt like she was blasted with a flamethrower, or more accurately thermite, and consequently it ignited a couple of embers.
Weiss shut her eyes and shook her head. “I think I can, see, or feel your demonic aura? I don’t really think there's a word for that. It smells like purple though. Maybe a hint of royal blue but mostly purple.”
“I am pretty purple,” Blake murmured softly, holding Weiss close and gently stroking her hair whilst her other hand continued to feed Weiss Red Orbs for good measure. “I guess it didn’t work as much as it should have… maybe you just aren’t demon enough for that to actually do anything, come to think of it… probably a good thing, though.”
“You certainly taste purple.” Ruby chuckled and slapped Blake on the back. “Want me to try? Or you can try eating souls or something. I have a few of those around. Maybe that’d help, just have to figure out who… hmm… the Fume Knight feels like he’d fit you for some reason…”
“No no, it definitely did something. I can feel it.” Weiss muttered, leaning into Blakes touch. She flexed her new muscle, or at least it felt like one, and a subtle light blue presence started drifting off her. “It's definitely not a lot, but it's definitely something. So that's a thing now. Yippee!” Of all the ways she expected today to go, this wasn’t it. Not that she was complaining.
“... Well. You’re definitely stronger now. And that means you can probably parry even more now without getting hurt or burning through too much of your Aura…” Blake mused, patting Weiss’ head again. “I can feel you now, the same way I can feel Yang and Ruby… sorta. Same same, but different. A-anyway, I am not stabbing you again, I think that scared me more than it scared you.”
Weiss groaned. “Definitely not. That hurt, like a lot. My brain was struggling to even comprehend most of it I think. I always do dumb things and then immediately regret them and I never learn my lesson from it. Maybe this time it will stick.” She hoped.
Who was she kidding? She was definitely going to end up making and eating battery acid spaghetti again.
Another Glyph spun up nearby, and this time it shattered before even a limb could get through. “And it didn’t even work for its intended purpose.” She remarked. “Maybe that's just the exhaustion though… Being stabbed seems to really take it out of you.”
“... I basically immolated you with demon energy after slicing a hole through your Aura and shattering it in one go,” Blake sighed, continuing to hold onto Weiss and pet her through the exhaustion. “It’s no surprise that you’re exhausted. Maybe try again after you get some rest? Or… try summoning something you’re more intimately familiar with? You don’t exactly spend a lot of time giving a shit about the Grimm you kill, but maybe… I dunno… a copy of one of your guns?”
“Probably…” Weiss agreed. She reluctantly broke the hold Blake had on her and spun up a smaller Glyph between them. Slowly a copy of her Rail Cannon emerged from it, however just as the final details of it were coming into being, it started glowing a dangerous red. “Uh oh.” She managed to get out before it literally exploded in her face.
And the pain was back. Joy. Although after being stabbed by the Yamoto her pain tolerance was something to be feared. However, slightly more concerningly everything was fuzzy. “Hm. Blake, why does everything look blurry? And foggy? Because everything looks blurry and foggy. And kind of red tinted. And dark. I might need more red orbs.”
“Y-yeah, I can understand that,” Blake winced, arms tightening around Weiss slightly. “Weiss. That blew up on me first, I hope you realize that. Because I am so glad you weren’t in front of it any more than you already were.”
She hissed quietly, then slipped another Red Orb between Weiss’ lips. “Dammit, me and my stupid- if I hadn’t broken your fucking Aura this wouldn’t have happened. Fucking- Dammit. Dammit. I don’t know if your eyes can heal through all of this, your Aura is shot and your blood regen won’t work without Aura…”
Weiss shrugged. “I mean, it will, eventually. I can heal from just about anything with enough blood. But well…” Another Glyph spun up, this time thankfully not to summon anything, from which Weiss pulled out a set of cybernetic eyes. “But surgeons won’t know that, and I’ve been meaning to actually get these replaced for a while. They kept saying shit about how they wouldn’t replace them without serious damage.” She grinned, perhaps a little too happily for someone who just had her face exploded.
“Sorry, about blowing you up, and stuff. It's...” Weiss winced. “Thanks for helping me not die from my own impulsiveness and stupidity. And Sorry again, for blowing you up and maybe giving you more trauma. I- Yeah.” Weiss trailed off, unsure of what exactly to say but hoping the sentiment came through.
“It’s- just…” Blake sighed, setting Weiss down gently and feeding her another Red Orb to fix some of the damage to her face. “... We’ve really gotta stop doing stupid shit, Weiss. You’re way more fragile than I am, and your healing is conditional on top of being less robust. Look- just… if you’re going for the cyber eyes instead of just healing what you’ve got, that’s fine… but… I don’t know if there’s gonna be anyone in Vale willing to do it, and I'm not sure Atlas will do it either, not without you signing your soul over to them or something, and I refuse to let you do something like that just for cyber eyes.”
“Yeah, no. Selling my soul back to my father just for cyber eyes would be a dumb idea.” Weiss confirmed. She sat there for a minute, trying to think of a way to find a surgeon willing and able to actually do it. “Do you think Yang or Ruby know someone? Or Qrow? I think he's still busy with Salem though…”
She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Yang has a whole criminal empire thing and Ruby can travel dimensions like she’s walking down the street, I think.” Thinking too hard about what Ruby could do wasn’t that good of an idea. “Between the two of them they can probably find something.”
“... I don’t trust literally anyone else with a blade to be anywhere near as precise as I can be,” Blake deadpanned, then looked away with a wince. “... That said, I’m not exactly a surgeon, so I can’t say that installing cyber eyes is my forte… mm… this could be… bad. Unless Ruby decides to bend causality? Or… if I slice causality well enough, maybe I can King Crimson this whole thing.”
Weiss tilted her head. “I mean, I wasn’t gonna suggest it but if you’re willing to try then I’m happy to let you. Cutting reality, or time or whatever seems like an option. Besides, what's the worst that could happen?” A lot, Weiss knew a lot. Fucking with time was like playing with fire. If that fire was the bedrock of life as you knew it. “Hey if you can cut time, does that mean it actually is a big ball of wibbly wobbly timey wimey, stuff?”
“No, it’s an incomprehensible mess of math and illogical bullshit that makes no sense and the only reason why it seems to make sense on a human-ish frame of reference is because we don’t interact with enough spatial dimensions to make sense of what time is really like,” Blake deadpanned flatly. “Anyway. If this hurts… please, please tell me to stop. Otherwise… I’m going to slice causality in half now, and King Crimson this shit.”
She paused, then turned to Ruby. “... Unless…?”
“Oh, right.” Ruby looked up from the… vibrant purple cat thing? “I was just talking to Curious while you did stupid. What do you need?”
“We just wanted to check if you wanted to bend causality instead of having Blake cut it and hoping it King Crimsons these new eyes into my skull.” Weiss repeated. “By the way, make sure it’s connected to both my optic nerve and the cable that connects it to my onboard computer. It's back there, somewhere, but they never ended up using it.”
“Oorrr I could just… get you an appointment with a real doctor? It’s not like slicing bits off yourself in order to get a power boost is unusual most places.” Ruby scratched her head and squinted at the two. “Why would you try to fuck with causality? Causality likes to fuck back . And I’m pretty sure they still don’t know what lube is.”
Weiss shrugged. “I mean, if you can, yeah. That would be nice.”
“We’re both stupid and most doctors in Vale aren’t trained for cybernetic installations,” Blake deadpanned. “Also I’m kinda low key freaking out right now so I’m trying for immediate all encompassing solutions rather than sane ones that’ll take Weiss like, two days to heal from.”
“...This is why I’m the team leader. Somehow. Despite literally having a completely alien moral system that mostly consists of ‘hunt is good’ without any consideration for whether that's good or not.” A great sigh was heaved. “I’ll just… find someone to see you. Immediately. With top grade stuff. At least the tech here isn’t too far behind a bunch of other places. Now… hmm… which place to go…?”
Weiss pulled Blake down into a hug. “There there, it's going to be fine. There was never any rush on this.” She spoke in slow tones, trying to do her best to comfort Blake.
“Weiss, you’re literally mostly blind right now and still missing part of your face,” Blake deadpanned even harder than before, barely acknowledging Weiss’ hug. “I don’t know how you’re not screaming right now.”
“Skill issue.” Weiss shot back, hugging Blake harder. “Besides, after all the dumb things I've done this barely even registers. I mean it does, obviously, but still. More like a really big ache.” Weiss put her hand on her face, avoiding the bits without skin, and tried to think of something. “The first that comes to mind is Night City. If that's real? The two of you’d know more about dimension hopping than me so… Whatever works.”
“Literally everything is real because of multiverse bullshit,” Blake sighed, patting Weiss gently. “Hey, maybe you can pick up a Sandevistan while you’re over there. Get even faster.”
“I wonder what happens if I combine a Sandevistan with time dilation…” Weiss wondered aloud. “Wait, no, I’m supposed to at least try and avoid doing dumb things. For at least a little bit. I think if I did that my heart would actually explode.”
“Probably. I’ll go make the appointment. They’ll probably see you immediately.” Mist swirled around Ruby. “Don’t do anything that makes you die before I get back. I can’t revive you if I don’t know you’re dead.” Then she was gone.
“Right… well. That,” Blake murmured softly, petting Weiss’ hair still. “... Hope it goes well.”
“Wait, I never figured out summoning…” Weiss realized. “Another day, this one has already had enough egregious bodily injury.” She leaned into Blake, clinging on tighter.
Chapter 36: Beacon Days - Deadbeat Forgot the Milk.
Chapter by desolatedsabers
Chapter Text
Shuffling along the winding path back to home on Patch, Yang rubbed the side of her face in minor embarrassment. “So, yeah… that’s the story, basically. I’m basically the spiritual parent to ten, or nine and a half, Pennys.”
“Welcome to the club. I think there are… something like a million Inklings and Octolings? At least?” Ruby shrugged. “Something like that. They move around too much for a real census.”
“Well, yeah. But it’s just… you didn’t actively make them beyond the abstract, meanwhile I literally gave Pietro part of my soul. Or something like that.” Yang gestured, and then brought her hands behind her head. “Which makes the joke about you seducing Penny makes me feel kinda weird. I don’t have a problem with you being intimate with her, so I don’t actually know what the issue is, y’know?”
“No idea. I got into a relationship with you so… it’s very evident I don’t really care about things like that. Not that we actually have a blood tie in the first place, technically. On account of,” a hand swept down her… everything.
“Yes, yes. You were technically born through immaculate conception and Taiyang isn’t technically your father.” Yang rolled her eyes, before bumping her hip against Ruby. “Mostly through you possessing the embryo that would’ve become Ruby anyway. I say it still counts. But that’s what I’m talking about. I don’t really care about the actual… ties. So I’m having trouble figuring out why I’ve got a problem with the idea of you doin’em. It’s not cause they’re your nieces, at least…” She trailed off, frowning in thought. “I swear if it’s something dumb I’m gonna be mad at myself.”
“It’s probably something dumb.” Ruby reached into her cloak, her arm going deeper and deeper. Far longer than usual. Eventually her hand retraced and with it came- “Here, use this.”
“A rubber duck?” Yang blinked, taking hold of the offered toy and giving it a squeak. “Well… I don’t want to forbid you from impregnating someone. Because I know how much that means to you, and how much parenthood means to you as well.” She turned to Ruby, walking backwards along the path so she could make eye contact. “Y’know?”
“I have no idea what the problem is. I’m just going to impregnate a robot.” Ruby tilted her head. “Ten robots.”
Twitching, Yang frowned again. “Yeah, and that’s fffff- fucking… ” Licking her lips, she shook her head as she tried to control her mouth. “The idea of you being intimate with any of them is fine, Soul Kids or not. I understand that much to know I don’t have a problem with it. I’m just trying to figure out why the mental image of me alongside them is wigging me the fuck out!”
“Because getting fucked alongside- your mother.” Ruby frowned as the house came into view.
“Ew, what-” Yang turned, before blinking in shock at the fact that Raven was in the house. In the kitchen. Alongside dad. Stopping in place, she looked back at Ruby and winced. “M-maybe we should come back later. I don’t think I wanna walk in on dad pity flirting with her.”
“That would be awkward, but it might be better just to stop it. And figure out why the leader of a bandit group is in my territory .” The sun burned a little brighter at the… irritation there. Not anger, not really. Ruby may not even be able to feel anger. She was weird about things like that. It’d taken a long while to get everything straight and even now sometimes more oddities cropped up.
“Be nice, she’s not worth killing anyway.” Yang softly said, handing Ruby back her duck and sighing. “Well… best get this over with. Where’s Uncle Qrow to chase her away when you need him?” She grumbled, before straightening up at the door and opening it. “We’re back.”
Just act like you didn’t see the bitch that left your biological mother through the window. Give her a chance to run away like usual.
“Oh, uh, hey kids!” Taiyang waved awkwardly, like he wasn’t in the middle of either flirting with or quietly ranting at Raven while they were standing/sitting across from each other at the kitchen island. “We uh… have a guest. As you can see. You guys haven’t called in a while, though- how’s Beacon going for you two? Should you really be back; it’s not a long weekend is it?”
“Can still fly.” Yang idly pointed out and tried to ignore the wide-eyed look she was getting from Raven. “And uh, figured this was a conversation that needed to happen face to face, anyway. How’re you feeling? Better day or better week?” She asked Taiyang with a mild amount of concern.
His depression could vanish for a while, and then suddenly come back in full force. So quiet periods were both a good and bad thing to have happen.
“Better… better week, up until now, I guess,” Taiyang grimaced, clearing his throat and looking away. “Raven.”
“Tai.” said bitch responded flatly, narrowing her eyes before sighing and turning to face the daughter she’d abandoned. “I’ve been speaking with your father about what you’ve been up to, Yang. And also pretending to care about everything he’s been ranting at me about, but that’s not important. What is important, though… is that I know how you’ve been making money, Yang Xiao Long.”
“I’m more concerned where the rest of your clan is, Raven Branwen. Because if you want them to remain outside of postal boxes they shouldn’t be anywhere near Vale.” Ruby blinked. “I don’t think you have enough money to pay postage owning.”
“I’m not here to parent you, little Rose,” Raven snarked right back, crossing her arms. “And peace. I came here alone.”
“She came here with me,” said another voice, the owner of whom was now poking out from behind the couch. She was… definitely dressed like a Branwen, but also seemed to be hiding from Taiyang’s stern, dadly disapproval. “... I’d say something mean, but you’re seven feet tall and your biceps are bigger than my torso and I’m not that stupid.”
“I’m not sure what's funnier.” Ruby didn’t smile. Obviously. “You coming here trying to parent Yang or coming here with the sloppy seconds.”
“Ruby.” Yang flatly said, shaking her head. “Insult the deadbeat, not the potential step sister hoping for a parent that loves her.”
“She’d have better luck with Salem.” Ruby stepped past everyone to get to the kitchen. “At least she seemed to actually love her kids.”
“Do not mention that-” Raven hissed, making a face and trying to put on a brave act despite getting her trauma twinged right in the soft spot. “Nevermind. Yang Xiao Long. Would you mind explaining why the first thing I’ve had to learn of you is that you’re selling your nudes on Onlyfans!?”
Yang blinked in surprise, and then looked at herself. “Uuuh. I’m seven feet tall, have tits bigger than watermelons, and people will pay for me to send a mildly salted jar of water that I lie and say is my sweat, and they’ll give me over eighty thousand Lien for it? Also because most of the other stuff I’m in the news for isn’t under my name, or is mostly talking about the Mistrali riots that happened cause I got DQ’d in a tournament? I don’t really have an internet presence outside of those things anyway, barring the times I get bored and stream games.”
Was Raven Branwen, queen of abandonment and complete fucking loser that she hated the fact she inherited the woman’s flirting face from, actually trying to be a parent? What weird Twilight Zone had she woken up in?
“Wait, are you really mad about nudes?” Ruby poked her head out of the kitchen, a cookie lightly held in her mouth. “Because nudes are like… the least important thing she’s done. And most of that doesn’t compare to the shit that I’ve done. Neo and I consider ‘hit the town like a wrecking ball’ to not be metaphorical.”
“If I got mad for my daughter running a criminal organization or a gang and ruling the streets with an iron fist, I’d be even more of a hypocrite than I already am,” Raven deadpanned flatly, staring at Ruby like she’d just said something stupid. “That said, she’s still seventeen, and selling nudes on the internet isn’t something she should be doing at that age.”
“I sold my nudes,” the as of yet unnamed girl behind the couch muttered loud enough for everyone to hear. “They bought me extra rations for the month and enough spare parts to make my weapons better than everyone else’s dogshit duct tape pieces.”
“I sold my nudes in first year,” Taiyang mumbled softly. “... I was broke and they paid tuition for the year and got me enough money to actually start picking up spare clothes at the student store.”
“Is that why you wore so many Beacon hoodies-” Raven seemed to realize something, then cut herself off. “That’s not- Tai! You’re the actual parent here, how come you’re not pissed about her selling her naked body on the internet!?”
“... Raven, do you really think I could stop Yang from doing whatever the hell she wanted?” Taiyang pointed out dryly, poking his ex-wife on the forehead. “Besides, you kinda lost the right to do that a long time ago. I don’t know how you ended up with Vernal over there, but the fact that she seems even less functional than Yang is a testament to how badly you screwed up and you’re still screwing up today.”
“Hey! I turned out great!” said the sorta scrawny looking girl in ripped up generic biker bandit clothes, brandishing weapons that looked like they were cobbled together out of spare parts from the gun store trash bin. Who also just admitted to selling her nudes for food and weapon parts. And who also kinda stunk like she hadn’t taken a bath in a week and a half.
“Kid, you look like the only thing keeping you from being scruffier is the fact your hair’s shorter than my armpit hair.” Yang deadpanned at Vernal, shaking her head. “Sides that though, I… can’t believe I’m gonna say this in my fucking life, but… Thank you, Raven. I appreciate your concern.”
If the eye twitch and the fact that she almost looked like she had a tooth pulled said anything, it clearly got lost in translation.
“Your weapons also suuuck. I’ve literally made better in my sleep.” Ruby stepped out of the kitchen with… a jar full of cookies? Did… they even have a cookie jar? “And not in the sense that I’m a creature of Dreams and therefore always technically asleep. But in the sense that I was basically unconscious and out popped Crescent Rose. Technically she’s my first kid. Just… not as intelligent as the Orphan. Same amount of anger though.”
“What?” Vernal asked, somewhat dumbly. Okay, very dumbly. Like she had no idea what was going on.
“Don’t ask. Ruby’s… semblance, is weird.” Yang shook her head. “Basically she’s saying you need to work on your gear better, even if what you have isn’t a knife taped to the end of a rifle.” She paused, before rubbing the bridge of her nose. “Still, speaking of weird semblances and kids… I’m technically a parent. For ten kids.”
“You’re WHAT!?” Taiyang yelped, slamming his hands against the kitchen island in the first show of genuine shock he’d expressed this entire time. “WHY!? WHEN!? HOW!?”
“Fucking excuse me!?” Raven asked, as if she hadn’t been expecting literally any of this. Which she hadn’t. Honestly she still seemed to be confused as to why Yang had dragon features when she definitely remembered having a very loud, angry, human baby.
Clapping her hands together and pointing her index fingers at her chin, Yang thought for a moment about how the fuck to explain this, before she decided fuck it. “So I got a guy soul pregnant. Kinda. Basically I was flying around Atlas at one point, and I thought it was a dream, but the guy was old, and crying about how he didn’t have enough Aura to bring his girls to life, and I thought ‘man that’s sad, wish I could help’ and then I kind’ve accidentally did. And so there’s ten girls that all have a chunk of my aura signature over in Atlas, and I only just put that together, and I’m not sure what to do about it.”
When in doubt, yap until it was all out. After that… she’ll figure that part out later. “Sooo, yeah. Technically a mother of ten. Sort of.”
“... I-” Taiyang took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I’m going to pretend I heard literally any of that right and just… go with it. Fine. Okay. Sure. Same thing as Ruby popping out with ink hair and you turning into a dragon at some point. How did that happen again, by the way? You literally never told me.”
“I found a cool rock.” Yang grinned.
“... You found a cool rock.” Taiyang deadpanned. “Sure. Why not. Anything else happen that’s probably gonna shake my knowledge of how the world works?”
“Not really but I’m getting married at some point to this cute dumbass I found.” Yang cheerfully said with her hands on her hips. “She’s great, you’ll love her.”
“I- wh-”
“Yang, I found another idiot trying to start shit in your territory without your permission. Real nasty piece of work too. Sent him three hundred meters down in the bay,” Blake spoke up, stepping out from behind Yang as if she’d always been there, examining her nails casually before looking up in confusion. “... I’m sorry are we on Patch right now? I wasn’t exactly checking where you were when I portaled over…”
“Marrying a woman with a katana and portal powers,” Raven mumbled so quietly almost no one heard her. “... She really is just like Summer.”
“At least this one’s going to stick around.” Ruby munched a cookie. “Or I’ll object, at least, and Blake knows she doesn’t want that.”
“I… am going to shelve that into my brain and not think about it, anyway Blake! Hey! This is my dad, and… Raven. I’d be crueler but Ruby has that down lock and key and also she’s actually trying for once in her life and I want to try and give her the benefit of the doubt.” Yang cheerfully smiled, before pulling Blake in front of her. “This is my wife. Or she will be.”
Blake blinked, staring at Raven oddly. “... Trying to do what exactly? Sit there and look like the world’s most awkward deadbeat mom?”
“Trying to actually be a parent once she learnt what I was getting up to, and actually concerned about me being a parent of ten. Technically.” Yang hummed back, before shaking her head. “Anyway, say hi to dad.”
“She’s… trying to… parent… you?” Blake asked incredulously, looking between Yang and Raven as if she definitely heard Yang wrong. “You? Really? For real? She’s actually trying to be a mom after seventeen years of squatting in the Mistrali backwoods and shitting in a hole for a living?”
“Yes.” Yang flatly deadpanned.
“...” Blake stared. “PffffftttAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-!”
“... Rude,” Raven sighed, palming her face as Blake literally fell over and started rolling on the ground in response to that affirmation. “I’m not that bad… o-or at least I’m trying to be better!”
“You literally ran out on us and refused to raise your own daughter,” Taiyang deadpanned. “But I’m glad you’re at least trying to reconnect. A decade too late, but hey, we’re still alive so I guess a miracle could possibly happen. At some point.”
“-AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-”
“Gods, why is she laughing that hard? It’s not that funny,” Vernal growled, clamping her hands over her ears.
“It’s one of the laws of comedy. The level of humor rises as the level of how pathetic the act is rises.” Ruby flopped onto the couch. “You’ve already failed, you know? Yang’s seventeen. She isn’t a kid anymore. You’ve timed out. Failed. Lost. The hunt’s ended. Go home, because you already chose yours. And it certainly isn’t here .”
“Ruby.” Yang’s eye twitched as she gently shook her head. “I appreciate it but I need the acid to be citric, not hydrochloric.”
“I kill. Simple as that.” She shrugged. “It is simply my nature. If Raven can’t handle it then maybe she should leave for another seventeen years. By that point she can come back and be angry about… I don’t know. Qrow marrying Salem.”
“Just asking you to stop, please.” Yang softly said back. “I’m a big girl. I don’t need to be protected, and especially not from Raven. But thank you.”
“... I’m not about to attack a-” Raven paused, furrowing her brow before deciding to change the words she was about to say. “... I’m not gonna get mad. Yet. I’m still aware that I’m a coward and a hypocrite. That’s why I’m trying to at least pretend I can mend one bridge in my life.”
She paused, then glared at Blake, still wheezing on the ground. “Okay seriously why is she still laughing?”
“Blake gets like this sometimes when something sets her off.” Yang rolled her eyes fondly as she stared at her wife, shaking her head. “She’ll get over it in a minute. Or five. How old is Vernal, by the way?” She tilted her head, looking between Raven and her… Step-Sister. Or regular sister. She wasn’t sure yet. Didn’t help that most of the Branwen Tribe looked similar. Except that one guy. Shay D. Mann or whatever.
Hmm. He had crackhead energy, from what she could remember. But not enough to fit that name.
“I’m eighteen,” Vernal grumbled, finally deciding to sit on the couch instead of behind it. She was also, however… getting dirt on the coffee table because she’d kicked up her dirty-ass boots onto it. Like an absolute slob. “What’s it to ya?”
“Trying to figure out if Raven actually popped you out or not. Be easier to tell if your hair was longer.” Yang huffed, before frowning. “And if you’re gonna kick your feet up, take your boots off first. Packed dirt’s a bitch to actually get all the pieces in a house. It’s not a tent.”
“... It’s a table,” Vernal muttered… but lowered her boots anyway. She did not, in fact, take her shoes off yet, but thankfully kept them firmly planted on the hardwood floor so that was… okay. “No, Raven didn’t give birth to me. She just took me in, made me her protege, made me strong.”
“Evidently not strong enough,” Raven grumbled, crossing her arms and finally deciding to just bury her face in them because Blake just would not stop laughing at her.
At this point it was less laughing and more tortured gasping and wheezing while crying about how much her abs hurt.
“I mean, you didn’t send her to any kind of Huntress school, so no shit.” Yang actually stepped up to defend Vernal. “Can’t do anything with missing pieces, and you…” She paused, trying to think of a diplomatic way to phrase it.
“Do you actually know how to use those weapons she has? Even attempted? You’ve only ever used that horrifically wasteful katana, right?” Ruby raised one finger into the air. “Anyone in your group any level of good at using what they have? Or have you gotten so used to beating up people without any idea what they’re doing that you’ve deluded yourselves into thinking you’re amazing?”
Raven opened her mouth slowly, glaring at Ruby… and then closed it and groaned. “Ugh… shut up. I came here to try and be a parent, not realize how far I’ve backslid up to this point. Dammit.”
“AHAHAHAH-aha- aaaaaa… haaaaaa… owww… hooo… hhhhh… hehehehe… whew… weh…” Blake slowly wound down from her laughter, taking a few deep breaths and finally sitting up again. “Oh man, that was a lot… pfheh… Raven being a parent. Hehe… whooo…. Haven’t laughed that hard since my last life’s dumbass corndog incident.”
Yang froze, blinking. Ah. Her foot slowly went to Blake’s chest, and pressed. “Speak not of the incident lest ye risk death.”
Blake froze, eyes going wide. “... No one’s supposed to know about that incident… unless…”
She gasped, staring at Yang with horrified eyes. “IT’S YOU!”
“ It’s me!” Yang smirked right back, before picking Blake up and throwing her out the open window. “Goodbye! See you for dinner!”
“WEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhh…..-!”
Taiyang blinked. “... Yang Xiao Long did you just throw your wife out of a window!?”
“She’ll be fine.” Yang waved a hand with a cheery grin. “Anyway… Uh, awkward conversation avoider instincts are go, Vernal, new step-sister! Wanna see the cool rock I got my powers and my cool club from? It’s my old corpse!”
“What the fuck does that mean?” Vernal asked, still kinda just reeling from everything that had been happening.
“I guess I could be nice too.” Ruby poked Vernal. “Gimme your guns. I’ll make them not shit.”
“... Fine. But only because you scare the shit out of me for some reason,” Vernal grumbled, handing over her weapons to Ruby. “... This day… could not possibly get any weirder.”
“And this is my dead body. My kidneys got ripped out by my kid, and then flooded with lava after a kid with freaky powers decided to gut punch me.” Yang proudly grinned at the twenty three foot tall stone statue of a much, much larger man. “The fact it took twelve people a dedicated twelve hours to kill me, and only that did me in, makes me pretty proud honestly. If it was just one of them I coulda done it for days.”
Vernal stared at the statue, blinking a few times. “Why were you a GUY!?”
Life was good for Yang Xiao-Long, as she smirked at Vernal’s incredulity. Heh!
Chapter 37: Beacon Days - Cat and Dragon (Blake 9)
Chapter by CyberQueen_Jolyne, desolatedsabers
Chapter Text
“So… were you ever gonna actually tell me that we used to know each other?” Blake asked quietly, sitting on Yang’s bed in her room on Patch, staring at the woman that she’d decided to marry. “Or were you just going to… not say anything, and hope it never came up?”
“I mean, it never really changed how I treated you.” Yang shrugged, laying against her headboard. Covered in cracks, holes made by Yang’s horns, and obviously well cared for at least. “Not like I really wanted to keep it a secret, more that it just didn’t matter beyond a few stronger emotional responses. Being Kaido kinda wiped away a lot of who I used to be. Just like I imagine being Vergil did for you.”
“It did… and it didn’t. A lot of it resonated and stayed. Trust issues. Trauma. The overarching desire to never get hurt again,” Blake shrugged, shaking her head. “Me, me, and me. All three of my whole… existences… have a lot of things in common, despite how different they all are. But… I guess it doesn’t really change much, knowing now. That’s… true. I just…”
She sighed, shaking her head. “I’d say that I wish you’d told me earlier, but at this point I’m self aware enough to know that if you’d told me right off the bat I probably would have been a little too weirded out to actually pursue you romantically. As it is… I’m not going anywhere. I’m in a little too deep for that.”
“I’m glad.” Yang smiled softly, before grabbing hold of her club. “If you’d abandoned me I’d be very angry, and very hurt.” After a moment, she let go of the weapon and leaned back. “Still, the fact that me being Kaido, very much A Man didn’t wig you out, but us knowing each other once upon a time would’ve, is still kinda weird.”
“Okay but consider,” Blake pointed out, waving over her entire body. “If I got wigged out over a hot bitch having previously been a dude, I’d be one hell of a hypocrite. Not just because I was Vergil, but because I was also literally the gayest, transest bitch you knew. Aaaaalso I’m still trans, I just… gave myself bottom surgery with demon power and the shapeshifting magic did the rest.”
“Mhmm.” Her wife deadpanned back, before shaking her head. “Right. Nevermind, can’t be assed going over that line of thought. I do still think you’d have been drawn into my orbit, but it might’ve taken longer. Or it might’ve taken the exact same amount of time considering you turn into jelly if I step to you just a bit too hard.” The smug grin was one part theatre, one part genuine. All parts Yang.
“Look, it’s just… part of me gets weirded out by the idea of dating guy friends, part of me really doesn’t care because you’re a woman now,” Blake shrugged, not really sure how to put it into words. “It’s dumb, but… whatever. You’re still my wife and I’m still marrying you… and I’m still gonna put a baby in you at some point and… man, I am still not over the fact that I have to top for once. That’s what’s actually weird…”
“I got sensitivity issues on account of being super aware of my body at all times. One thing that’s only kinda alluded to? Zoans have enhanced senses that only get stronger in full and hybrid form.” Yang tilted her head with a faux-cheery expression. “Can ya guess what that means when I’m getting piped? The answer might surprise you.”
“... that feels like something straight out of a hentai, but y’know what, I believe it,” Blake mumbled, blushing a little. “... Then again, One Piece legit had hentai physics going on so what do I know. Oh yeah, speaking of… did you ever read the end of One Piece before… uh… all of this happened to you?”
Yang opened her mouth before shutting it and frowning. “Maybe? I don’t remember.”
“Damn. I don’t remember either. Preeeeetty sure I died way before the ending, though…” Blake nodded slowly, then frowned. “... I have no idea if I actually died or not, everything past a certain point is just really fuzzy.”
“A lot of my older memories got knocked to the bottom of my mind through blunt force.” Yang rubbed her forehead in remembrance. Specifically her forehead and the front of the top of her head, between her horns. “Rocks was strong. Still punched his nuts one time, but he punched back twice as hard. It was fun, but it hurt. A lot.”
“Vergil’s trauma,” Blake deadpanned. “That’s about all there is to say on that matter. A-anyway. So… huh. Y’know, I just remembered I used to make jokes about finding you and hitting you with a shovel for some of the godawful jokes you used to make… wild how things change, huh?”
“Yeah, instead of knocking me on my ass you’re knocking against my ass.” Yang nodded sagely, her lip twitching as she tried to avoid laughing at her idiotic wordplay. “I mean I don’t mind. Getting railed by a pretty lady with a fat cock is still great. But it’s just surprising.”
“It is great,” Blake nodded, chuckling softly. “It really is surprising, though… but, considering how fast we clicked, I guess it only makes sense that we used to be besties already. Still not sure how you didn’t clock yourself earlier… there were a lot of opportunities I probably missed, come to think of it.”
“Most of my major identifiers are things that could be a lot of other random people, or someone you didn’t know. That incident happened because I couldn’t explain things correctly.” Yang huffed, before grinning lewdly. “But I think I proved I can eat a hotdog with just my throat when I gave you some loving affection, haah?”
“... That you did,” Blake blushed, squeezing her thighs together. “That you very much did… mrrrffh… could crack a walnut with that throat, goddamn…”
Blowing her tongue at her wife, Yang chortled quietly, sounding like something from a kids movie. “I had to show you my appreciation. You were just so tense, I had to take care of you too.” She let out a dramatic sigh as she brought her wrist to her forehead. “So much tension. I had to deal with all of your unholy lusts through the night~!”
“You were the one sucking me dry like a succubus!” Blake shot back, blushing even harder. “How is it you’re a bottom on your back but the moment you get my cock in your throat you’re treating me like a friggin Caprisun!?”
“Cause I don’t got erogenous zones in my mouth, and I also like oral.” Yang pointed back, before shifting her body around entirely to crawl along her bed, pushing Blake down and leaning over her. “It’s so much easier to top when I don’t feel all of my nerves going haywire when your dick is inside me. But I don’t want to turn back. Understand?”
“Y-yeah…” Blake whimpered a little, ears and tail flicking as her back hit the bed. She blushed, staring into Yang’s eyes before curling up ever so slightly. “Mrrrrrr…. You make me wish you had a dick when you’ve got me like this…”
“Too bad, my crotch is an invert and not an outvert.” Yang smugly grinned, sticking her tongue out as she leaned in and licked Blake’s nose. “And you do so well when you’re folding me in half just to fuck me harder, I don’t wanna take that from you.”
“Mrrrrr….” Blake just kinda continued to purr quietly, scrunching up under Yang’s attention before gently bumping her forehead against Yang’s. “I can only do that because demon blood likes dominance displays. You know I’m still a bottom with my cock out when I’m not using Devil Trigger…”
“And I appreciate it very much.” If she expected that to put a damper on Yang’s enjoyment of her embarrassment, it clearly didn’t, and instead just made her more inclined to tease her. “I’d top if I could stay in Hybrid form without going through Hyperesthesia, but that’s not gonna happen unless I modify the form. And I don’t like doing that beyond using Chopper’s Rumble Balls. Not least of which because I like looking the way I do like this.” She grinned, before looking at her arms. “Except that my scales start at my shoulders and not my forearms.”
“Your scales are a delight to touch, by the way,” Blake murmured, deciding to reach up and wrap her legs around Yang’s waist for good measure. “But… I get it. Then again… strap on? The regular kind, not the kind that goes in your pussy.”
Yang actually blinked at that, before blushing, and then leaning into Blake’s chest to cover her face. “F-funny enough, Ruby saying she couldn’t find my strap was… mostly to embarrass me. I tried it once, with Neo. It uh… I’m not… I dunno how I had a kid as Kaido, and then basically found myself useless with my thrust game when I became Yang.”
“... Kaido’s a big guy so he probably coulda just… one pumped it out with some woman that caught his eye,” Blake mumbled, chuckling softly and patting Yang’s hair. “... It’s kinda just a matter of practice, I guess? I dunno, I’m kinda half remembering old instincts when I do my thing, and it’s not like I’m not a quickshot anyway… I just have no refractory period, my dick doesn’t get soft until it needs to, and I have enough stamina to keep humping even in the middle of an orgasm.”
“I don’t like the insinuation that I was a one pump as Kaido. Not least of which because that’s not true.” Yang mulishly said against Blake’s chest. “Just that all of that experience seems to have fucking vanished now that I’m two steps from being a muscle bimbo.”
“Dunno, but… well. We’ll figure it out eventually, and it’s not a big deal otherwise,” Blake smiled, kissing the crown of Yang’s head. “... Oh yeah, did you see how Raven and Vernal were looking at me earlier? I swear they were staring at me like I was a piece of meat for some reason. The entire time I was cooking, too…”
“The Belladonna family is catnip to the Branwen tribe.” Yang snorted, rubbing up against Blake as her horns became much softer to avoid goring her by mistake. “Dunno if that’s actually the case, but considering Uncle Qrow immediately decided to jump into bed with your mom and dad-”
“Ew ew please don’t remind me ew ew ewwww,” Blake shuddered, pulling a mostly theatrical face of pure disgust. “I don’t wanna think about my mom’s shitty taste in scruffy old guys.”
“I’m pretty sure Qrow’s younger than both of your parents.” Yang pointed out, before continuing her thought. “Anyway, I immediately pegged you as someone I could throw my metaphorical weight around even before I learnt that you were my complete mess of a best friend from another life. Metaphorical weight as in bullying you with flirting, not… yeah. Anyway. I figure that there’s just something about your family that makes anyone with Branwen blood go ‘awooga’ and go nuts. But if Vernal tries to seduce you I’m kicking her out of the front door.” She quickly said, bringing her head up to look at Blake. “I trust you, but Vernal’s also dumb.”
“... If we weren’t gonna get married, I’m not gonna lie I would not say no to a one night stand with Vernal,” Blake admitted somewhat sheepishly. “... But only after she showers. And like… brushed her teeth. And cleaned under her nails. And… I dunno, she needs to be clean first and I’m definitely not doing it with her without a dental dam even after that. She’s… kinda… gross. And I’m not the kinda trans girl who’s got a musk fetish. Definitely wouldn’t even call her the morning after either, she’s kinda a bitch like that.”
“She’s a bitch, but dad cares about her enough already to offer her the spare room. And it’s not like I’m objectively not worse in most ways. I’m just also an attentive lover, and I’m obsessive over my hygiene because, as I learned as Kaido, having hair big enough to be a blanket means lots of hair care.” Yang huffed as she brought a hand up to take hold of her mane, tugging it for good measure. “Anyway… I’m not sure how to feel about Raven coming back and trying to be a parent. I can’t be mad at her, I was objectively a shittier parent. And most of her reasons for running make sense to me. Salem’s all powerful, and being afraid of me just… makes sense.”
“... Make a few amends while you still can but remind her that she has no actual weight to her attempts at being a parent?” Blake suggested, shrugging gently before kissing the crown of Yang’s head again. Mostly because her hair smelled really nice. And was really soft. “That, or you can just tell her she’s being dumb. I dunno, I’m not good at figuring out how to handle deadbeat parents. Nero just decided to drag me along everywhere at some point and you know how I felt about my parents in the other life and… well… I never had to deal with shitty parents this go around, which is a fucking shocker, honestly…”
“You lucked out and got literally the best parents on the fucking team since Summer passed away.” Yang deadpanned at Blake with a grin. “Aren’t you lucky, with your good parental relationship and understanding that they love you completely and utterly.”
Her smile dropped after a moment, and she sighed as she shlumped into Blake’s chest. “Meanwhile, Dad’s lucky if he has a good day, let alone a good week, mom’s passed as I already said, and Raven… Raven’s trying, at least. Solid thirteen years late, but I mean… she didn’t give me explosive cuffs. Or lock me in a cave. Or any of that. So I’d say she’s a half decent parent by my lackluster standards.”
“She’s… about as much of a deadbeat as I was to Nero, so…” Blake shrugged, wincing a little. “... Maybe just call it awkward and try and accept as much of Raven’s efforts as you can? She… did reach out first. Which is more than I can say. She also hasn’t ripped your arm off for power… or impaled you multiple times… or tried to blow you up… slice you into a million pieces… punch you in the face a bunch of times… stuff like that.”
“Nearly kill you with a backhand, give you the finger as he charged to full power…” Yang trailed off, before chuckling softly. “I’ll try. I dunno if she’ll stay. I think she might, actually. Considering she’s been camped out in the shower for… a while. And Vernal’s… learning. To be a normal person.”
“That backhand was on Dante, and he took it like a bitch!” Blake spluttered indignantly, then sort of just bristled until she heard the rest of Yang’s words. “... And. Well. She’s probably staying. Free access to a hot shower whenever she wants? I may not know her, but I know camp life and I know nomadic life and when you find a place where you can have a hot, private, clean and nice shower whenever you want? Oh, you never want to leave. Also, y’know. Running water, toilets that aren’t holes in the ground, ready access to toothpaste… I’d say free access to cheap fast food, but Valeburger kinda sucks shit.”
“It’s as edible as any Mcdonalds that wasn’t in the US.” Yang huffed, but there was a proper smile in her voice now. “I don’t think her and dad will get back together, but I think having guests that actually need to rely on him a bit will help him through his depression. Once Ruby became a mostly adult, and I grew up, we didn’t really need him, so he only came out of his shell if he had to go help Ozpin, or someone over at Signal. It’ll be good for him, I think.”
“Yeah. Seems like it…” Blake nodded, then let out a quiet sigh. “... I’m not fucking you while your dad’s within ten miles and we don’t have soundproofing. I could not handle the awkwardness.”
“I’mma tell you right now, that he never noticed anything Ruby and I did. Probably because Ruby soundproofed everything.” Yang spoke low, avoiding projecting her voice at all. “The walls aren’t thin by any means, it’s all solid wood. But I understand, and it’s okay.”
“... Well, if you promise he won’t hear, then…” Blake murmured consideringly, forming a Doppelganger to go close and lock the door. “... Maybe one or two rounds?”
Yang blinked as she leaned up properly to stare at Blake, before slowly sliding a hand into her chest and pulling out a purple lipstick, raising her eyebrow questioningly. “Full course or entree?”
Blake blushed, going red from head to toe. “Gimme everything you got!”
And so she did.
Life was good for Blake Belladonna.
Chapter 38: Beacon Days- The Second Sanctuary (Weiss 9)
Chapter Text
Weiss squinted, trying her best to avoid rubbing her eyes. The doctor that Ruby had found had told her not to rub at them while the connections settled. Except they itched, a lot. “Ruby, are you sure that doctor was qualified? I’m pretty sure I saw bloodstains on the floor. Normally I’d call that cool but it's not exactly reassuring in a doctor's office.”
“They have a medical license at least, which is better than I do.” Ruby shrugged, her boots clacking on the metal grating of the city. “Better than most everyone in this city, really. You aren’t about to have your eyes fucked any harder than they already were.”
“I might if I do something really stupid again. But hey, healing from blood and all.” Weiss shrugged. “I’ll try to have a bit of impulse control. For a while at least. Probably until I forget how much getting stabbed hurt.”
“None of you have impulse control. Yang can just fake it really well.” Ruby spun on one boot to watch Weiss rather than the increasingly complex and large car crash that was happening on the under-highway. How two men in suits and sunglasses had managed to make that many cops crash… they must have some divine help. “Ready to head back?”
“Yup, let's go before ‘choom’ gets incorporated into my normal vocabulary.” Weiss shuddered. “I’ve picked up a lot of strange phrases before but that isn’t one I want.”
“It’s culture.” Ruby chuckled and walked to her left, into a heavy spot of mist that hadn’t been there a moment ago. “We’re going to come out at Yang’s place in Patch. Raven and Vernal are around too, don’t stab them. That’s my job. I can never tell if Raven understands I’m scarier or if she’s too much of a coward to attempt to stop me roasting her.”
Weiss did a little salute. “Understood, no stabbing.” She followed Ruby into the mist and felt reality, not be reality for a minute. Soon enough though, she stepped out the other side with a stumble presumably onto Patch. “Ugh, never going to get used to that feeling.”
“Wait no, why is Raven here? Isn’t she… well, Raven?” She couldn’t help but ask as she got her feet back under her. “She’s a massive burning trash fire of a person with more issues and complexes than the rest of team STRQ combined.”
“You hear that, Raven! Even people who’ve never met you think you’re a burning dumpster fire.” Ruby tilted back to look at Weiss. “She got angry about Yang selling titty pics. And also probably wants protection because of that power that’s latched onto her soul.”
“Yeah, that's a whole thing…” Weiss shook her head with a sigh. “Honestly of all the things she could care about why the titty pics? That's like, the most normal thing Yang does. And if Qrow keeps fucking Salem Raven might not actually need protection from anything.”
“Well she needed an excuse to try and get under the protection of someone who could probably just… go out and kill Salem.” Ruby hummed and turned back to the living room, where the rest of the house was trying to make sense of what the fuck was happening. “It isn’t like Haki couldn’t just go… ‘fuck you, die’.”
“Been there, done that. I parried a magic nuke back at her about a week ago.” Weiss grinned as she followed Ruby because she had no idea where anything was. “She got better, obviously, but still. Qrow will probably be mad if you just go and kill kill her though.” Understandable, she would be angry too if someone killed her goth milf girlfriend.
“Probably. Maybe some good sex will get her to chill out and stop making murder monsters.” Ruby sighed and flopped onto the couch. “It’d make things boring though.”
“You know I can hear everything you two are saying, right?” Raven made herself known from where she was standing in the doorway. “Also what the fuck do you mean my brother is having sex with the Queen of Grimm ?”
“Weiss saw it,” Ruby gestured at the one person in the room with prosthetics, “with her special eyes.”
“Don’t make it sound like I watched them through a keyhole or something.” Weiss grumbled. “Besides I didn’t even have cybernetic eyes yet. I got the fuck out of there via Yamato express the moment the madman actually managed it, somehow.”
She waved her finger and a Glyph spun up, dropping a massive imposing throne onto the floor. “I stole her chair.” She elaborated as she threw her legs over one armrest and laid her back against the other. “It's a really good chair.”
“If you busted my floorboards I swear to any god listening I’m gonna kick your ass!” Yang’s voice echoed across the house angrily… up until the point that it was interrupted by a loud moan… and also Blake’s equally loud moan a moment later.
Weiss glanced underneath her cool chair to see the floorboards definitely cracked and splintered. “Hmm. Well that's a problem. A later problem. Do you know how to fix floors? Do we throw Taiyang at it and hope he can manwhore his way into fixing it?”
Ruby just pointed at the floor and the boards repaired themselves. “You’re fine.”
Raven stared at Ruby. “Do I want to know?”
“Probably, but you won’t.” She snuggled back into the couch. “In case you have, somehow, missed it. I would gleefully give you a kiss and rip out your heart in the same motion.”
“Ruby, no murdering Yang’s guest. Even if she sucks.” Weiss discouraged. “I know it's really tempting. But your sister will be annoyed and I doubt even eldritch magick can get bloodstains out of that couch. Plus then the magic will go to some other random schmuck who’ll have to deal with being the Spring Maiden.”
“Guest implies invitation. Raven just showed up. Without any milk.” Ruby sniffed. “Possibly cigarettes though.”
“I don’t even smoke, what are you talking about? What does milk have to do with anything!” Raven grumbled before she realized something important. “How do you even know I’m Spring? I spent nearly two decades hiding it and suddenly you show up and just, know!”
“I know a lot of things about stuff.” Weiss shot back with a shit-eating grin. “Hmm. Right. Hey Ruby, do you think going and getting a magic lamp will be a good enough substitute for milk? And even if it isn't, do you want to just go anyway? I don’t know when she’s going to dip again and I want to collect the Macguffin while she’s still within range to threaten.”
“She couldn’t run if I wanted to find her.” Fingers tapped onto the arm of the couch for a moment. “Sure, why not. I could teleport directly into it anyway, but threatening Raven is always a good time.”
Weiss vanished her chair back into a Glyph as she shot up. “Yeah, but teleporting in is just cheating. And I mean, it would work. But there wouldn’t be a sense of accomplishment, it wouldn’t be fun. Besides, it'll give Ozpin another stress ulcer once he realizes the door is open.”
“We should probably stop enabling his drinking problems.” Ruby twisted off the couch and was suddenly right behind Raven. One hand gripped her arm, and Raven’s instinctive tug showed getting out would mean losing it. “Come on. Let’s go.”
Reality twisted, and with another stumble of Weiss' legs they were in Haven academy. “Yay. Now all we have to do is gaslight gatekeep girlboss our way into the headmaster’s office, steal his pocket watch, and take the secret elevator down into the secret basement. During the middle of the semester. With all the students watching…” Ozpin would almost definitely be getting more than one stress ulcer.
“Kill me.” Raven muttered from her fetal position on the floor. “That was terrible.”
“If I wanted you dead you’d be dead. This is much better.” Ruby turned her attention to the room they’d found themselves in. Probably the entrance to Haven academy, considering the size and people milling about. “You,” the student, an individual so bland he may as well have been a black silhouette, she pointed to jerked back, “where’s Lionheart's office?”
“Uhh uh. It’s,” Ruby pointed harder and he flinched. “up the stairs, first left, second right, third on the left go straight ahead under the stairs, past the bins, fifth on your left. Can I go now?”
“Sure. Run.” Ruby smiled as the man, likely at least a technically a few years older, scrambled as he attempted to leave as quickly as possible. “Looks like Lionheart teaches students after himself.”
“Lionheart has been a coward for years. What Ozpin saw in him I don’t know.” Raven muttered as they started walking. When Weiss and Ruby shot her a glare she raised her hands defensively. “I know I’m a hypocrite. But he makes me look like a gallant hero in comparison.”
“You’ve at least successfully stolen things. Lionheart hasn’t stolen anything, just stumbled into something he wasn’t prepared for after getting the cushy desk job that was his real goal.” Ruby hummed to herself as she walked, the sound filtering outward unnaturally. “What even is his weapon? Nobody will interrupt us, by the way.”
“His weapon is basically a Yugioh duel disk. It's not anything any of us need to really worry about.” Weiss explained as they neared the door. “I should definitely steal it though. And his tea set. They would be fun to have.”
Once they actually arrived at the door Weiss knocked on it, then shot the handle off with a shotgun and kicked it open. “Knock knock motherfucker!” She called out with a feral grin. “Hands in the air!”
Lionheart, to his credit, actually did it.
“And wave them like you just don’t care!” Weiss followed up as best she could between her giggles. “But seriously though. We’re robbing you. We need your pocket watch, weapon, and tea set. That last one is vitally important.”
“I can’t just give you that watch. I took an oath to protect it with my life if need be.” Lionheart muttered.
“That can be arranged.” Ruby’s cloak swept open to show various implements of murder. And a few decks of cards. “How would you like to die? I take requests.”
His pupils shrank and a bead of sweat dropped down his face as he witnessed all the instruments of murder in front of him. “On second thought, I very much can part with that watch. Hope you like it. Please don’t send me to the shadow realm.” His words slowly began dripping with desperation as his confident facade cracked under the pressure. By the end he was on his knees outright begging to live.
“I’m going to sound like a hypocrite again, but honestly that level of spinelessness is pitiable.” Raven remarked. “Let's just get to the vault.”
“Yes, please, go to the vault.” Lionheart muttered. He dug around his pockets for a moment and tossed his weapon and the key to Weiss.
As they sailed through the air his weapon, Stalwart, vanished into a Glyph and the watch landed in Weiss' outstretched hand. “And the tea set?” She glared at him. He pointed to a corner of the room with the set and it was quickly swallowed by another Glyph. “Terrible doing business with you Lionheart. Thanks for all the stuff though.”
“Hmm… I haven’t been able to send anyone to the Shadow Realm in ages…” Ruby let her cloak fall back down. “Let’s just go. Maybe I can take some time to get my motorcycle out later.”
They wandered back to the courtyard, where Weiss quickly inserted the watch into the statue. She could hear the grinding of disused gears as it lowered into the ground, turning the top into a platform for the elevator.
In front of all the students. “Don't worry everyone, we’re just secret elevator inspectors. Please return to your classes.” She called out into the crowd.
“Unless you want to also help us inspect the traps.” Ruby made a show of pulling out a sheaf of papers. “Traditional lethality requirements mean we need at least ten to get through without us having any problems.”
“Ten?” Weiss shot Ruby a look. “That’s assuming none of them die because of the giant boulder rolling down the narrow corridor. We’re going to need at least twenty.”
“Lionheart would teach them how to run if nothing else. I’m expecting the swinging blades to get more. Hesitation actually kills there.” The courtyard was very quickly becoming empty. “See? They know how to run.”
“Huh, Lionheart actually can teach something. Who would have guessed?” Weiss muttered. “Are we sure Raven wasn’t actually a Haven student?” She ignored Raven’s grunt of annoyance and set the elevator to go down.
The elevator was slow, painfully slow. Thankfully there wasn’t any elevator music, or Ruby might actually go and kill Raven. “Right then, once we’re down there do your thing, we can steal the Lamp, and you can go back to trying to bond with Yang.”
Raven sighed. “This is going to get held over my head forever isn’t it.”
“Yes. Also hi, I’m a Doppelganger,” Blake appeared, like she usually tended to do, by stepping out from behind Raven’s back and pressing a lunchbox each into Weiss’ and Ruby’s hands. “Real me is currently buried eight inches deep in Yang, but she also made travel lunches in case you got hungry. Weiss, yours has extra Red Orbs to help deal with any surgical aftereffects.”
And then she vanished in a little flutter of violet flames, like she’d never been there at all. Technically speaking, she hadn’t been.
Weiss opened up her lunchbox, “She cut the edges off my sandwich. That's so nice.” She held up the sandwich in question, taking a bite out of it. “It's really good too. I’ll have to thank her when we get back. And once her and Yang are done fucking.”
“It is really good.” Ruby took another bite of her own lunch. “Once we’re done here we could be fucking.”
“Maybe another day, I wanna figure out how to get Tetris and Doom onto my internal system now that I can actually use the damn thing. Before I got the new eyes it was like trying to use a computer without a monitor.” Weiss wasn’t sure why those games existed on Remnant, but she guessed Tetris was simple enough and it was a law of the universe that everything must be able to run Doom. “Once I’m done with those though…” Shot shot Ruby a wink.
The elevator landed, and Weiss pushed Raven forward. “Go ahead and do the weird magic thing, or whatever. Then we can get out of here.”
Raven rolled her eyes and started channeling her powers. Red flames began leaking from her eyes and she raised a palm. The Vault door glowed and shortly opened, revealing a watercolor desert landscape.
Weiss ignored it and spun up a Glyph under the lamp, letting it fall inside. “Right, let's get out of here.”
Ruby stared at the vault for a moment, her eyes narrow. “Hmm… I think I’ll look at this some more later. Might be able to do something with it. Actually… that is an idea… one for later.” Mist pooled out from her boots. “For right now I’m going to play DOOM on you with my dick.”
Chapter 39: Beacon Days: Cherry Bike Trails (Ruby 9)
Chapter by Argo_The_Rat
Summary:
CARD GAMES ON MOTORCYCLES
Chapter Text
The world had died and, to be clear, Ruby was absolutely not responsible . It was like this when she got here. Whatever had actually ruined the place was impossible to know. It’d been probably a long, long time ago and likely been a very important event. There may even have been a Protagonist.
Regardless, it left basically the entire place in ruins. A slowly crumbling mega-city that seemed to encompass all that could be. Sand and dust slowly grinding away at concrete while rust ate at the megastructures still standing. Perhaps one day they’ll all fall down and something else would come together. Perhaps not. It wasn’t important.
What was important was they had some sick ass highways.
WHRRR
Ruby smiled as she kicked Ravage Rose forward. The motorcycle wasn’t one she often had opportunity to use. Either as a motorcycle or as a dueling platform. But it was fun to bring it out once in a while. Perhaps she’d head over and play a few games one day. Her custom printed deck wasn’t custom printed to never play it, after all.
Well… ‘custom printed’. Since she made the entire thing with her own powers completely accidentally. Apparently it was just… a thing that happened? If you were strong enough or something. Just… making cards appear to use them. It was weird. Not the weirdest , but still weird.
Anyway, flying through a dead world at fuck you kilometers an hour was fun. Something in it wasn’t quite as nice as actually bashing something’s head in, but it soothed the itch a little. Plus there was just something… eerily fascinating about a dead world. Was this what Yharnam would have become? Was this what Inkopolis could become?
A savage sort of beauty. The kind of hunt that left everything burned and mere corpses behind. Even of things that should not be capable of dying. Like towns. Or cities.
“Hmm… maybe I should outfit Bumblebee with something. Maybe Blake could use a motorcycle? She feels like she needs a motorcycle.” It wasn’t like Yang really used Bumblebee anymore. “Hmm… maybe I could get Weiss something too. She wants to fly, right?”
Probably. Flying was cool. Probably.
Being honest, Ruby preferred to teleport. Much faster. Plus her method of flight was just fucking around with physics and it rendered it pretty boring.
“Hm?” Was Yang calling? Odd, her mouth should be too full of Blake’s dick to do that. Ravage Rose screeched as Ruby twisted it to the side. The entire thing slid to a stop as she used one foot to keep it mostly upright, eventually ending stopped sideways across the road. “Alright, Yang, what’s got you off your wife’s dick?”
“We actually weren’t doing much before y’all left with Raven funny enough.” Yang grinned as she sauntered through the portal, a deactivated Duel Disk on her arm. “But also, I missed you, we haven’t done one of these in a while, and Bumblebee’s in the shop. So.”
With her hands on her hips, Yang walked over and pulled Ruby’s head upward, giving her a quick kiss before stretching outward, curving her body in a way that emphasized both halves of her, and then sprung upward. “So. Standard duel, or Turbo duel? And how many life points? Cause I know that all these wimps tend to only use four thousand instead of eight.”
“I have no idea how you realized I was riding around.” Knowing random shit she shouldn’t was Ruby’s thing damnit. “Turbo, eight.”
“My autism senses were tingling, and they told me it was time to Duel.” Yang grinned as her duel disk activated. And then she flicked out a rumble ball, her body lengthening as Flame Clouds grew around her. “Unfortunately, Bumblebee’s in the shop and I haven’t converted it to a runner yet. So you’ll just have to make do with me flying.”
“That’s fine. Just don’t hit a building.” Ruby revved Ravage Rose. “Again.”
“It’s more fun to knock them down! Makes the track more hazardous for you!” Yang laughed as she tensed her legs. On one hand, knowing where they were, a Turbo Duel was probably a dumb idea on account of the Ener-D being completely fucked.
On the other hand, that still sounded hilarious, and both her and Ruby produced enough energy themselves to brute force it. “Ready, Rubes?”
“Duel!” Ravage Rose kicked off with a roar, Yang running behind her before taking to the air. “Since you challenged me, I’ll go first!”
“Alright.” A good initial line at least. “I’ll summon Moon Scented Hunter in attack position. When this creature is normal summoned I get to search my deck for a field spell called The Hunter’s Dream.” She did. “Which I promptly play! With this field spell out my monsters are immune to trap cards, and I get to special summon one Hunter monster from my hand. So I’ll bring out Henryk. And when he is summoned to the field I get to search my deck for Father Gascoigne, who I promptly summon with his effect!”
A heavy axe came down and cut the Moon Scented Hunter in two, Father Gascoigne sniffing as he walked onto the space the other had left. The hunter in yellow and the Father stood shoulder to shoulder. A way they’d stood for a very long time before the events of that night. Where Mergo’s Wet Nurse finally made her move. And also everyone else joined in the fun for… some reason. It really was a cluster fuck.
“Now! I XYZ summon using Henryk and Father Gascoigne!” The moon that hung over the world, partly due to the duel’s holographic system and partly due to these cards being made from Ruby’s own power, burned away. “From the death of the night and toward a bloody morning, come forth! The Good Hunter!”
Exactly as Ruby remembered herself, she stepped forward. Same traditional hunter gear, one hand clutched Evelynn and the other the Threaded Cane. Hm. She was surprisingly dapper back then.
“When The Good Hunter is summoned I get to play The New Dream from my deck, which replaces The Hunter’s Dream.” The moon faded away as the card was destroyed to reveal the morning sun shining out from behind the mist. “The Good Hunter is unaffected by spell and trap cards, and The New Dream means that, whenever my creature would be destroyed by battle, I can negate that battle once per creature per turn. I set two cards face down and end my turn.”
“Strong start.” Yang huffed with a grin as her body spiraled through the air, her own track of flame clouds belting out in front of her and scouring the rubble around them as they passed. “Let’s see what I’ve got to work with. Draw.”
Drawing her sixth card, Yang hummed before nodding. “I’m going to activate Pleasure’s Greed. By discarding one Pleasure from my hand, I can draw two more cards.” She did so, and then nodded once more. “And now that I’ve drawn King the Wildfire from my deck, I can summon him to my field.”
King the Wildfire, her previous second in command and leatherbound angel with black wings, appeared beside her, his own flame billowing out as he spun his sword. She felt like him only having two and a half thousand attack was a bit low, but his defense stat was stupidly high.
“And, because I have a level eight Lunarian monster on the field, I can activate Vegapunk Records, allowing me to summon two Seraphim Tokens as long as King remains on the field.” She quickly slapped the spell onto her duel disk, not even blinking when two child-like Lunarians formed on the field alongside King. “And because of King’s effect, whenever a Lunarian Monster that isn’t him appears on the field, his rage burns brighter and he gains two hundred attack points per monster. Now, I’ll summon Queen the Plague using my Lunarian Tokens.”
Her third appeared alongside King, and the two monsters appeared to jeer at each other without words, before both Yang and Ruby turned a corner. “With Queen on the field alongside King, I can search my deck for Jack the Drought, and I can bring him to my hand.” She drew another card, and then nodded. “Now, I’ll place the spell card SMILE’S Gift on the field, using it to fuse my King the Wildfire with itself to summon Alber, The Last Lunarian! The conflagration calls, crying out for the last of its people to burn brightly!”
On the field, King pulled away his mask, the fire on his back growing into a towering inferno that spiraled around him. His body grew in size alongside his attack points, an extra thousand rounding out his stats to a more manageable level.
“Next, I’ll activate SMILES Rebirth, discarding Jack to summon King the Wildfire back to my field from my graveyard.” Exchanging one card for another, Yang slotted King beside himself on the field and nodded. “And because of Jack’s effect when he’s discarded from the field, I can target one spell or trap on your field and destroy it. I’ll pick the left one.”
“Oh? How unfortunate, you managed to destroy my Research Halls Experimentation.” The card flipped up, showing off an odd spiraling staircase surrounded by dusty and disused hallways. “When this card is destroyed I get to summon three The Living Failures tokens to my field!” Rising up into three of her monster zones were… vaguely phallic off blue mushroom things reaching toward the sky. “As long as I have one of these on the field another one will be summoned when my turn starts. To a maximum of four.”
“Man, I hate token engines.” Yang grumbled, before shrugging. “Anyway. I’ll activate Queen’s effect. Once per turn, I can choose whether to make you take one thousand life points worth of damage, or cause one of your monsters to lose a thousand attack points. I’ll target your The Good Hunter.” She blinked, before having to twist through the upper half of a building Ruby could drive under, coming out the other side with dust coating her mane. “As I was saying! I target your The Good Hunter, so now he only has two thousand five hundred attack points, which puts him in the danger range for King, Queen, and Alber! King, destroy her Hunter! Response?”
“I negate the fight using The New Dream.” Ruby ramped off a broken chunk of road and did a flip.
It didn’t do anything. Style was important.
“Go ahead.”
“Alright.” Yang huffed, wondering if she was being baited or not. “Queen, attack the Good Hunter.” It’s not three and a half thousand attack, but two thousand eight hundred should be fine. Even with King having the Lunarian Bonus from Alber, she’s not sure why Queen would be considered stronger… Eh. Cards are weird. “Do you have a response?”
“I’ll activate the trap card Hunter’s Parry!” Evelynn snapped up and shot Queen in the shoulder, throwing off the attack. “If a Hunter monster I control is being attacked the attacking monster loses attack based on the difference in their attack. Now! If The New Dream is on the field and one of my opponent’s monsters loses attack due to an effect I control, I get to have a Hunter monster on my field destroy it! The Good Hunter! Visceral !”
With a slight dip of the cap The Good Hunter did. Her hand carving through Queen’s chest and stopping somewhere in the middle. Before it ripped out in a spray of blood that definitely was above the age rating of the game.
“I knew I was being baited.” Yang hung her head for a moment, before chuckling. “Well, that’s on me. I’ll attack your The Good Hunter with Alber now, because I can’t afford to have him on the field alongside your experiments.” She pointed, before pausing. “Wait, can your experiments be used for XYZs or is it like Scapegoats?”
“They don’t have a level.” Ruby waved as The Good Hunter was destroyed by Alber. “Of course, now the final effect of The New Dream activates. When a Hunter monster on my field is destroyed I can sacrifice a Beast, Kin, or Eldritch monster I control to summon them back!”
One of The Living Failures… warbled in something approximating a scream. The words PREY SLAUGHTERED burned their way onto the space before The Good Hunter stepped back onto the field.
“But you still take a thousand life points of damage.” Yang pointed out with a laugh, ducking under an overpass so she didn’t bring it down.“Well, I can’t attack anymore, so I’ll move into my second main phase, and I’ll play one card face down and end my turn.” Her hand was empty, but Yang didn’t actually look that worried. Beyond trying not to hit whoever the hell was flying around near them.
“My move! Draw!” Another card joined the one in Ruby’s hand. “Because of The Living Failures effect, I summon another one onto the field.” Another vaguely dildo creature faded in like mist. “Then I’ll active The Good Hunter’s effect! By sacrificing a Beast, Kin, or Eldritch monster I can place one card in my graveyard under her as XYZ material.” One of the Failures died. “Then I’ll detach that material to give her an extra attack this turn!”
The Good Hunter whipped the cane out, the entire length twirling into its alternate form. It wouldn’t be enough to defeat Yang, but it could clear a lot of the board. Of course, that wasn’t the end of it.
“Because I have a Hunter monster on my field I can play Beast Blood Pellet without setting it,” a small pellet dropped onto the field from the trap, “giving The Good Hunter a thousand attack points and another thousand for every monster she destroys this turn.”
Wait. Fuck. Fucked that timing up. Damnit. Shouldn’t matter. Damnit.
“Now I sacrifice one of my Living Failures to summon The Bloody Crow of Cainhurst.” The madman stepped onto the field with a wide smile. “When he enters the field he gains attack equal to the attack of the highest monster that died this turn. Which means he gains another two thousand to end up with four thousand five hundred. Now I’ll go to my battle phase. Bloody Crow, attack!”
“I’ll activate Waboku.” Yang grinned, immediately stopping Ruby’s battle phase in its tracks. “Now I don’t take damage by battle, and my monsters can’t be destroyed. But your field spell means yours still can be, right?”
“Sure, go ahead and try.” Ruby gestured at the field. “You’ve got no cards left.”
“I mean my monsters are still alive.” Yang shrugged, entirely unconcerned with the situation she was in. “And who knows, maybe I’ll draw what I need next turn.”
“Maybe.” Ruby waved a hand. “I’ll end my turn.” The Crow’s attack went back down to his normal level.
Drawing a card, Yang blinked before grinning. “Alright. I’m gonna summon King of the Beasts: Kaido! By sacrificing two Beast Pirate cards, I can also activate his effect to summon the Superstars!” She placed herself on the board, the giant of a man appearing and running forward, followed by King, Queen, and Jack reviving from her Graveyard. “And with all three Superstars on the field, I can special summon Beast King Kaido from my extra deck!”
The Azure Dragon twisted into existence beside Yang, his body flexing as it twisted similar to hers. Most of his body wasn’t actually visible, hidden by clouds. “And if I summon this monster while King of the Beasts: Kaido is on the field, I get to nuke your field. Response?”
“Go ahead.” Ruby just watched as her entire field was destroyed- including The New Dream. “When The New Dream is destroyed I get to play The Hunter’s Nightmare. All Hunter creatures in my graveyard are special summoned back to the field, get five-hundred extra attack, and must attack each turn. Welcome back The Good Hunter, Moon Scented Hunter, Henryk, and Father Gascoigne.”
“Hey quick question, if the Hunters Nightmare is destroyed do these guys fuck off?” Yang quickly asked, raising an eyebrow.
“They do,” Ruby waved a hand, “but The Hunter’s Nightmare can resist being destroyed once a turn.”
“Oh, bitchin.” Yang grinned, before pointing at Jack. “So Jack’s effect activates to try and pop. Fails. But then I activate me. Specifically me with the fur coat. And he can destroy one card on the field by himself.”
As Jack’s attack whiffed, Kaido swung his club, driving a beam of power straight into The Hunter’s Nightmare, and causing the card to explode into voxels, clearing Ruby’s field. A baby’s cry rang out, causing Yang to feel a small bit of melancholy. “I think that’s my win?”
“When The Hunter’s Nightmare is destroyed all of my Hunter creatures are also destroyed.” They all went to the graveyard. “Oh no, my field is empty and the Nightmare has ended. The Moon Scented Hunter, because it was destroyed by a card effect I controlled, is banished, allowing me to search my deck for one Hunter card to put into play.”
She actually could have done that earlier, from Gascoigne, but it hadn’t been a good time to do it. This way she had a hidden ace she could bring out. Just something to let her reset things. The best Hunter for that would be…
“I special summon Djura in defense mode.” A truly massive minigun set itself up, a hunter behind it. “He can attack in defense mode and gains one thousand defense if attacked. Plus he can’t be affected by monster effects.”
“Uuuugh. You’re killing me, Rubes.” Despite her tone, Yang was smiling, a complete shift in her scales as she let her body change entirely before the Rumble Ball wore off, twisting into her full Golden Dragon form. “Fine, fine. I end my turn.”
“Draw!” Ruby smiled down at the card in her hand. “Because The Hunter’s Dream is in the graveyard I special summon Flora.” The… whatever you’d qualify Flora as descended from the suddenly present moon. “When Flora is summon I can play The Hunter’s Dream from my graveyard, and then I activate Flora’s ability. By banishing a Hunter card from my graveyard I can set all of your monster’s attack to one.”
Flora screamed , the otherworldly sound no less grating for being an approximation born of an overpowered illusion engine. All of Yang’s monsters definitely didn’t appreciate it. Except Kaido. He just looked excited.
“Then I sacrifice Flora to bring back The Good Hunter, destroying The Hunter’s Dream and bringing back The New Dream.” The Good Hunter came down from the sky and impaled Flora, the moon turning back to the sun. NIGHTMARE SLAIN wrote itself into the mist. “Now I activate Djura, allowing me to destroy one spell or trap on the field. I choose The New Dream, bringing back The Hunter’s Nightmare!”
How a guy with a minigun destroyed a dream was best left to the imagination. Though Djura could’ve probably done it. That guy was a little nuts and pretty good with tech.
“Bringing back The Bloody Crow of Cainhurst, Henryk, and Gascoigne.” They all appeared out of the mist. “And Flora died this turn, so the Crow gets three thousand attack points. Attack!”
Watching her monsters go down, Yang nodded her head. “Yeah, you got it. I lose.”
With that, she transformed back to her normal self, running alongside Ravage Rose, slowly coming to a halt, cleaning up her cards from her duel disk. “I thought I had you when I got rid of the Nightmare. Standard wager payout?” She asked, holding up a very old coin, missing either face, with a grin.
“Hunters always come back from the brink.” Either because they died and came back stronger or because something about being at the edge of your life just makes you better. “Sure. Standard payout.”
Chapter 40: Beacon Days - Demon Days
Chapter by Argo_The_Rat, CyberQueen_Jolyne, desolatedsabers, InternecionWitch
Chapter Text
“... Hey Yang?” Blake asked, suddenly freezing in the middle of cooking and looking off into the distance. Her tail bristled slightly, and her ears flicked left and right as something twinged her senses. “The only weird thing that’s supposed to be on Patch relating to the four of us should just be your old corpse, right? Like, it’s just the statue, right? You and Ruby cleared off pretty much everything else, right?”
Yang blinked, rubbing her chin, before shrugging. “Should be. Weiss and Rubes stole the funny lamp with the hot blue lady earlier, Raven’s still here, Vernal’s passed out in her room, Dad’s… doing something, Iunno. Outside of Signal, the deli section of the local market, and my corpse, shouldn’t be anything freaky here.”
“... The deli section isn’t that bad, it’s just… differently organized,” Blake mumbled, then chewed her lip thoughtfully. “Well. That means someone decided to set up on Patch in the last… day or so, maybe. Or they’ve been here longer and neither of you cleared them out yet… Ruby, do you know what’s… vaaaaguely that way?”
She pointed off in a somewhat westerly direction, motioning with one hand before returning to her cooking. Ramen night was important, after all, and spooky cult bullshit was… a little lower on the priority list until she felt any demonic incursions happening, after all. “Because I felt a flare of demon energy just now, and I’m pretty sure someone’s doing some cult shit that none of us are gonna like.”
“No idea. They aren’t hunting and they’re not actually Huntsmen so they aren’t my jurisdiction.” Ruby hummed and tilted her head. “Well, not hunting right now. Someone over that way would be a hunter of knowledge, but that's sorta barely at the edge? And also they aren’t doing it right now.”
Weiss tilted her head, staring in the direction that Blake pointed, “I, think I can feel that? I don’t know, it's a new thing, and I don’t exactly have a lot of demonic power. The only thing I can see is my system sending me a popup whenever I look at you marking you as a target…”
Blake blinked, staring at Weiss for a moment. “... I’m sorry why are your systems marking me as a target? Does it do that for anyone else? And…”
She turned, frowning a little. “... I’m gonna assume someone on the verge of being a hunter of knowledge is someone who was looking for some specific knowledge and found it, considering that… ooh boy, that’s definitely some kind of summoning ritual going on- that’s a really specific flavor of demon magic I’m tasting. Honestly? Kinda making it hard to make sure the ramen tastes right, it’s a little overpowering.”
Weiss shrugged. “I don’t know, it kind of tastes good, I think you’re tasting it stronger than I am though. But yeah, something about detecting your whole, demony thing, and telling me that I should probably kill it. Which, to be fair, most demons do need killing. I still need to find out how to turn it off though.”
“... Y’tried looking in your configuration settings?” Blake asked, somewhat dumbly. After a moment though, she shook her head. “Y’know what, nevermind. Until someone actually manages to summon a demon army, let’s just eat. I’ve got like seven different kinds of ramen and I’m not running out anytime soon.”
That said, she didn’t hesitate to start scooping ramen bowls for everyone seated at the table, which now included both Raven and Vernal, who actually looked clean and not like bandits for once. Blake, in the back of her head, very much did not say anything about how Raven’s pajama top was unbuttoned a little too much to be modest. Sue her, boobs were pretty and she was gay.
“Thank you Blake.” Weiss dug into her ramen bowl the moment she could. “What are the odds they actually summon a demon army and not like, a single imp or something? Also this is really good. Thanks again.”
“Probably… pretty low. They’d have to do a ritual mass sacrifice to do more than a few weaker demons, and most cultists are petty cowards who’d rather just kill a bunch of random people than themselves, which weakens the potential link and,” Blake paused, furrowing her brow. “But then there’s how the demon summoning interacts with relative levels of evil in an area, and while that definition is sort of ephemeral and self contradictory, having enough darkness, blood, death, and rot in an area also strengthens the whole thing… if they’re in a cave and have enough decomposing Grimm, they might be able to force it through either with a bit of self sacrifice or a good amount of forced sacrifice… Yang, you haven’t gotten any reports of missing persons have you? I know I haven’t seen any in your files but I might have missed something since I’m just using Doppelgangers for that now.”
“Nobody has been hunted on Patch. I’d object .” Ruby gently set down a bowl of ramen. “This is really good. I like it a lot. More please!”
“Of course,” Blake nodded, setting another bowl in front of Ruby with a smile before looking over at Yang. “So, that’s nobody missing on Patch, and…?”
“Missing people?” Yang blinked, frowning and then standing up. “Back in a minute.”
With that, she walked out the front door of her house, stomped her foot rapidly, and vanished.
…
“... That doesn’t inspire a lot of confidence,” Blake deadpanned, pinching the bridge of her nose and letting out a quiet sigh. “Right. Okay. That means we’ve probably got some problems. Problems that we can totally wait for, but not for long. So… I’m gonna put it out of my mind until Yang gets back, and if a demon incursion happens before she gets back…”
She pursed her lips, sitting down at the table and clapping her hands together. “Ruby, do you mind if I hunt in your territory? Demons are my specialty, after all.”
“Go ahead. It’d be more fun if they actually summoned something impressive first, but if you want to get them while they’re weak that's valid.” Ruby took another bite of the ramen. “I’m gonna stay here and have ramen. And if I run out I’ll find ramen somewhere else. And find their suppliers.”
“Do you want help?” Weiss pushed her empty bowl aside and raised her hand. “I mean you probably don’t need it, but still. Always good to have backup. Or I could stay here, eat more ramen, and be worried. Your call honestly.”
“Hmm… I think I can handle it myself, but thanks for offering,” Blake shook her head, tapping her chopsticks against the table before digging into her own bowl of ramen. “Shouldn’t be too hard, as long as they don’t somehow summon my idiot asshole dipshit brother. Then again, if they do that… they’re all gonna die anyway.”
With a bang of displaced air, Yang tumbled over her feet before coming to a stop in the kitchen, standing up straight with her hands on her hips, and a goofy grin plastered on her face. “So, I ran around the island, and apparently about two visitors from Mistral went missing! Reason I didn’t notice is cause no one gave a shit cause they were the snooty types.”
Blake blinked. “... Well that’d explain it. Two sacrifices, though… they must have pretty strong Aura each otherwise they won’t summon anything but imps. Either way…”
Blake furrowed her brow after a moment, sensing another flare of demonic energy in the distance. “Yyyyyup. Okay, that summoning is definitely going through, and somehow it’s a pretty big one too. Which means my entire mouth right now tastes like a fucking energy drink, and it’s making the ramen not taste like ramen, which is the bigger problem right now.”
“... I’m sorry what the fuck do you mean there’s cultists summoning demons on this island and the more important part is that it’s making your ramen taste bad?” Vernal asked somewhat stupidly, looking at Blake as though she was insane. “Are you four actually crazy or something, how would you even know!?”
Raven just palmed her face, not saying anything. Taiyang, despite the nervous looks he was vaguely sending at Ruby and Yang, was also a little too busy digging into his heaping bowl of ramen to offer anything but a fatherly thumbs up and an ok symbol.
“Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room, a rubber room, a rubber room with rats, and rats make me crazy.” Weiss recited with a shit-eatting grin. “But also, yes. Incredibly crazy. I’m pretty sure Yang could crack the planet in two if she wanted and Ruby is an eldritch not-god whose mind and thought processes are beyond mortal comprehension.”
“You’ll get used to it.” Yang quickly waved at Vernal. “Patch is quiet until it’s not, and then it’s back to being quiet again. Enjoy your ramen and don’t worry too much. You need to eat more anyway.” Saying that, she grabbed a second bowl, and then a third, and put them in front of Vernal with a smile. “Trust.”
“Wh- I can’t eat this much!” Vernal complained… and then froze when Raven clamped a hand on her shoulder.
“Camp rules,” Raven hissed, eyes glowing as a shadowy aura seemed to form around her. “Do not. Waste. Food.”
“... Yes’m…” Vernal squeaked, and then returned to valiantly trying to shovel as much ramen down her throat as possible without throwing up from overeating. But did she have to moan about the taste, though…?
“Slow down and don’t drink as much soda.” Yang quickly said, putting a hand over Vernal’s when she reached for said drink. “It’ll fill you up more and make it harder to eat. Don’t worry about it getting cold, we can warm it up, or you can enjoy it cold because it’s good food.”
“Ramen is best enjoyed hot, if you want cold noodles I’ll make soba or tsukemen,” Blake deadpanned through a mouthful of pork, grumbling about the idea of cold ramen. “Ugh. I’m glad all of you are enjoying it, until that fucking summoning gets finished on the other side of the island, I’m stuck tasting energy drink and blood mixed in with all the actual ramen flavor.”
“I mean, I’m not complaining. If it's really bugging you that much why not go kill them now, you could probably manage it before the food gets cold.” Weiss said as she sat back down with another bowl of noodles. “Also please don’t eat cold ramen, that's just wrong. It's not like cold pizza.”
“Because I’m hungry now and if I go fight then the adrenaline will stop me from feeling hungry until after the ramen gets cold,” Blake grumbled, ears flat against her head. Truly, an insurmountable obstacle to her enjoyment of her food. “Ugh… the waiting is the worst part… should be done soon, the taste of metal is getting really strong… and I’m pretty sure by now everyone on the island can feel the pressure…”
“... I don’t think I’m hungry anymore,” Vernal murmured, staring at nothing and shivering in her seat. Beside her, Raven stared at the ceiling and glared, as if the demonic energy pressing down on every soul on the island was an affront to her very existence.
… Taiyang just kept eating like he didn’t notice anything amiss. Okay, why was he moaning quietly while he ate too?
Awkward.
A-anyway.
“There, can you feel it?” Blake asked somewhat belatedly, making a vaguely circular wave with her hand. “All around us, like blood and death and pure malice? That’s definitely a demon army about to come through.”
“Yuck, that's a bit too much even for my weird taste buds.” Weiss took another bite of her ramen in an attempt to drown out the taste. “And my eyes are lighting up with warnings about demonic energy specifically so… that's another thing on the todo list. Who told the SDC about demons?”
“Could just be one big one.” Yang pointed out, before she picked up Hassaikai from its place beside the kitchen door and hefted it. And then thought better of it and held the handle out for Blake to take. “I don’t want to break apart Patch, and last time I swung this here I created an impact site the size of Tunguska. Or it felt that way at the time. So, go kill demons babe. I’ll warm up your food when you get back.”
“Thank you dear,” Blake smiled, taking Hassaikai gently and reverently swinging it into place on her back… right next to Myrtenaster, which made it a little awkward to actually carry. Hm. She’d figure it out. “I’ll be back in a few.”
In the distance, a series of howls and unnatural roars broke the stillness of the night, seemingly staining the shattered moon red with demonic evil.
Blake took a deep breath, sweeping her bangs back from her forehead for effect just to look cool. “Time to hunt.”
And then she vanished in a blur of blue and violet.
…
“... So… can I get thirds or…?” Taiyang finally asked, looking up from his empty second bowl.
“Yeah I’ll get it.” Yang huffed, stirring up the pot a bit. And then quickly brought a ladle over to Blake’s pot to avoid the still cooking noodles getting soggy. “One, two, three, five. Yep.” She said to herself, sliding a bowl over to Taiyang and then taking a few for herself as she took her spot by the oven.
Taiyang grinned. “Thanks!”
Chapter 41: Beacon Days- The Dripping Tap (Weiss 10)
Chapter Text
“Haa… haaa… Well, on the plus side, nothing too strong came through. On the other hand… I couldn’t find whoever did this, and whatever cave or hideout they were using got destroyed so we can’t even really look for clues there, probably,” Blake stated, standing there in a field full to the brim with the slowly dissolving corpses of what looked like hundreds of demons, most of them identical in the sort of way that identified them as Hell’s trash mobs. There were also Red Orbs just… everywhere, and the way they glittered under the moonlight made the field look vaguely surreal, like grass growing through an ocean of blood.
The only thing Weiss' big dumb lesbian brain could think of when she looked at the scene was ‘Woman pretty’. Reluctantly she shook her head to clear her thoughts. “Well that's good. Any day the world doesn’t have a demon incursion going on is a good day. Shame about the cave, I would have liked to know a little bit more. Oh well.”
“Is it weird I’m kind of surprised that there’s enough of me in Hassaikai to make it act like a Demon Arm?” Yang quietly mumbled, rubbing her chin. “I know I infused my Haki into it for decades and died with the thing, but it’s still kind of unexpected.”
“It’s got your soul in it, and apparently dragons are close enough to demons to make it count,” Blake shrugged, giving the massive club an underhanded toss back to Yang with a smile. “I did my best to take care of her, made sure she smashed plenty of heads and broke lots of spines. I kinda wish you’d been there to see it, honestly, I was kinda on fire.”
Weiss blinked. “Do you mean on fire literally or metaphorically? Because with all the bullshit you can do I’d believe it if you said literally. And if demons really are close enough to dragons that's another point for you technically being a dragon.”
“Kinda both, actually,” Blake tilted her head lightly, motioning vaguely at her ears. “Y’know how when I’m in Devil Trigger I’ve got like… all of that going on? Yeah. I was on a fuckin roll tonight, literally on fire with how much magic I was burning.”
“Nice. Do you want to head back? I’m pretty sure there's still some ramen left that we can heat up real quick.” Weiss offered. “That is if Taiyang didn’t eat it all… I’m pretty sure he didn’t though.”
“I made enough to feed Yang and then some. If Taiyang somehow managed to eat it all he’d look like a blimp,” Blake snorted out a laugh, then took a deep breath. “Right… I could go back, but… y’know how I said the cultist place was destroyed? I still wanna take a look, see if anything important survived in the rubble. Clues and shit… because we might have more or less defused Salem for a bit… or, Qrow did by somehow rizzing up said goth milf with his literal negative amount of charm… but this is new. This is new and different and I don’t like that. I can eat later.”
Weiss paused and put her arm through a Glyph to rummage through it. “I think I have…” She pulled out a granola bar. “Aha, I knew I threw some of these in there at some point. I was going to eat them, and then I didn’t. And then I forgot they even existed. They should probably still be good. It even has chocolate chips in it!” She held out the bar for Blake to take.
“... Weiss, I’m just gonna say this once for your benefit but you probably shouldn’t keep food in a Glyph if you don’t know it won’t go bad,” Blake deadpanned, taking the granola bar gingerly and holding it between two fingers like it was a live bomb. Or, honestly, she would have held a live bomb with more confidence because explosions were easy to handle at her level. Moldy granola, however, was a consistent source of disgust no matter how strong she got. “Please tell me your hammerspace puts things in stasis too?”
Weiss shrugged. “It's not stasis per se, but time gets weird in there. If I want something to stay good, less time passes for it. It’ll probably be good, I only put them in there a year ago. Which means it's probably only been a month or two for them. Honestly I try not to think about it too hard.”
“Hey babe, I found the sword that kicked your ass!” Yang shouted from the other side of what remained of the cultists, holding up what was undoubtedly Red Queen with a grin.
Blake froze, ears twitching as she took a few steps back and then fell to the ground with a melodramatic swoon. “Nooo…. Nooooo! What the fuck!? Why!? Why is Red Queen here! Oh gods please don’t tell me Nero is somewhere on this planet too, I don’t need to get my ass wrecked by my own kid again!”
“Wait a minute, if Nero is Blake’s kid, and Penny is Yang’s kid. Does that mean Penny and Nero are stepsiblings now?” Weiss thought aloud as she quietly eyed the granola bar Blake had dropped in her theatrical reaction.
Trudging back over with a frown, Yang kind of shrugged as she shifted the sword in her hand. “Maybe? I dunno. Technically the Penny sisters and the Inklings are step-siblings, but that’s in this life. Nero was in the last life, and considering that Red Queen is here, he probably died. Or lost it, but that one’s unlikely.” She said, looking to the side with a huff.
Weiss quietly picked up the bar as she made her way over to the blade. “I don’t know the demonic energy on it feels… Old. Really old. Smells like libraries and dusty chairs a little honestly. Blake could probably be more specific once she's done moping.” She quietly unwrapped the bar and took a bite. And prompt spat it back out. “I think this is one of the ones I threw in five years ago.”
“It smells like it’s been in that cave way longer than it should have,” Blake grumbled, finally pushing herself up again and huffing with some small amount of disgruntled indignation that no one had really responded to her theatrics. “Whatever’s going on with Red Queen, it either popped into the world when I did, or, more likely, popped into the world when the demon shit did. Because the demon shit is old, and I am… obviously… not.”
“So, what are you going to do with it?” Weiss threw what was left of the bar into another Glyph, that was a later problem. “I mean, if it's your son’s then you should probably get to decide what to do with it. Unless you want to leave it to rust out here.”
“... I’m not leaving Red Queen to rust, even if I hate how much Nero used it like a hammer to break my nose in,” Blake continued to grumble like a sulky cat, walking over to Yang and gently tugging said blade away from her wife. “... It’s still my son’s weapon, and as much as I didn’t raise him, I still cared about Nero enough to want him to be safe and live well. If I just let his favored weapon rust away here in the middle of nowhere… what kind of parent would I be then?”
“Dunno.” Yang shrugged, before gently taking hold of Blake’s hand, the one holding Red Queen’s hilt, and then gently pulling it forward, grinning when the immediate rev blew a small bit of flame out of its exhaust pipes. “Well, she’s still functioning despite how long it’s been. Nico was an artist.”
“A finer man-made blade I’ve never seen,” Blake nodded slowly, smiling ever so softly at the sound of Red Queen’s rev. “It’s still wholly impractical and far too large to be used with skill… but it’s a damn fine blade for the man who chose to wield it.”
Seeing the melancholy look on Blake’s face, Yang smiled softly, before moving around her until they were standing side by side, and grabbed an entire handful of her ass. “Alright, c’mon. Let’s get back and eat and then we can figure out what to do with Red Queen. Weiss probably wants to eat some real food too.”
“Gweh!” Blake yelped a little, startling from Yang’s sudden game of grab-ass. “Yang! Weh! What was that for!?”
“Hey, granola bars are real food. Except for when you forget about one for five years. I am terrible at feeding myself.” Weiss quipped back. “And also your ramen was really good and now that we can taste it right again I want more.”
“Don’t worry too much about it, babe.” Yang giggled at Blake’s yelp, using her hand to guide her adorable cat-wife over to their girlfriend.
“Mrr… it’s embarrassing,” Blake mumbled, cuddling up against Yang without doing literally anything to remove Yang’s hand from her butt. “But also kinda hot… God I’m such a pathetic dyke sometimes…”
“Hey, you married her. You aren’t a pathetic dyke, you’re a successful dyke.” Weiss pointed out. “I mean look at her.” Weiss gestured to all of Yang. “You won at being a lesbian.”
“There’s a lot to look at,” Blake mumbled, staring directly at Yang’s boobs. “A lot to look at… waow…”
Giving the cheek in her hand a squeeze, Yang grinned. “If you’re good you can get a hands-on examination. Considering what you did to me a week ago, I’d say it’s fair. Or…” She slowly trailed off, and let her tongue coil out of her mouth. “You could make it up to me in a different way.”
“Sgddlfdsdfsdjghsdkfj…” the sound that Blake let all but dribble out of her mouth blankly matched her immediate deer-in-headlights expression, blushing and trembling because she was, as ever, a useless lesbian who couldn’t handle flirting without mentally self combusting. “Hrdssfldkgsdfsdghsd….”
She’d probably make it up later, but right now she was definitely kinda just stuck staring at Yang in the most pathetic dyke way possible.
“And here we see the dyke in her natural habitat.” Weiss mimicked a nature documentary voice. “Being utterly pathetic, and upending this cyborg's assumption you couldn’t be both successful and useless. Truly groundbreaking discoveries are being made here.” She managed to finish saying before collapsing to the grass in giggles.
Sucking her tongue back into her mouth, Yang just smirked as she pulled Blake closer, swapping the grip on her ass for an arm around her shoulder so she could gently stroke her wife’s cheek. “Definitely her natural habitat. Cuddled up against me and waiting for me to have my wicked way until she turns the tables. The perfect natural habitat of my darling useless lesbian cat wife.”
“Mrrrrr,” Blake sort of made a protesting noise, though it was mostly muffled by the fact that she was taking the opportunity to press her face entirely against Yang’s boob and purring loud enough that it almost drowned out her voice entirely. “Mrrrr….”
“Hmm? What was that, babe?” Yang asked, her smirk stretching her face a bit more as she gently moved Blake away from her breast teasingly. “Are you, perhaps, protesting that your natural habitat is cuddled against my breasts until I decide to give you some loving touch? Or are you protesting being called my useless lesbian cat wife?”
“I’m useful,” Blake mumbled, blushing heavily and flicking her ears with some bit of indignation at being called useless specifically. “I do a lot of things… Weh.”
“I know you do.” Yang nodded as she slowly moved Blake’s head to look her in the eyes. “You’re a useless lesbian. Not useless. There’s a difference. So much of one, actually.”
“I knowwwww…” Blake pouted, scrunching up slightly. “I don’t like being called useless, though…”
“Fair enough.” She grinned at her scrunched cat-wife, before just picking her up entirely under her waist. “Now, faithful leader since Ruby’s not here... What do we do next?”
“Next? Let’s go home and eat… and whatever cult shit is going on, we’ll figure it out tomorrow,” Blake shrugged, slowly regaining some confidence and wisdom back now that she wasn’t in needy cat-wife mode anymore. “And then we can… I dunno, head back to Beacon before we miss a bunch of classes?”
“Hey, Cs get degrees,” Weiss recited. “and I don’t think that any of us are getting below a B. Besides, the impromptu long weekend was fun.” And probably an opportunity for Ozpin to have a couple days of peace. They’d probably be causing him problems the moment they got back.
“Cs get degrees but I don’t think these count as Cs.” Yang bounced her chest, and Blake by extension, before gently putting the other woman down. “Anyway, I got an actual leave of absence cause I was gonna talk to dad about being a mom at the age of seventeen. Gave Linlin shit for that despite her basically being my big sister, thought she was a dumbass. Turns out I’m a dumbass. I didn’t expect y’all to show up.”
“... I’m just gonna pretend we were allowed to be here and say nothing when we get back,” Blake deadpanned, straightening herself out and pointing back towards the Xiao-Long household. “Right! Back to dinner!”
Chapter 42: Beacon Days - Yang Ain't No deadbeat.
Chapter Text
This was a bad idea.
As a matter of fact, this was a horrible idea. An idea so fucking stupid she shouldn’t be doing it.
But.
She’s been made aware of the fact that she was the current mother of decuplets, and hasn’t known about them since until they started trying to blast her ass out of the sky.
Which means.
WHICH MEANS!
HER BABIES ARE BEING USED AS UNPAID LABOR, AND THAT IS COMPLETELY FUCKING UNACCEPTABLE!
Slamming into one of the top spires of Atlas in her full Dragon form, thankfully not the CCT spire, Yang let herself tumble through the rubble, shifting herself back into her hybrid form to disguise herself among the falling rocks.
Pietro’s lab was somewhere near here, right? Eh, she’ll find out.
Watching the Polendina Sisters fly around and fix the mess she just made actually made her smile. They’re quick, efficient, and strong.
She’s gonna snap someone’s fucking jaw if they keep being exploited.
“Well, they’re certainly spirited,” Blake stated whilst standing upon a falling piece of rubble, somehow anchored to it entirely and acting as if she was on solid ground despite how it was tumbling through the air. “I wonder if they all have the same basic personality, or if they’ve got entirely different ones? You’ve actually seen them, how identical are they, anyway?”
“Nine’s Penny. Eight is Petra, I think, she’s sweet but also very violent. Really loved trying to rip my scales off, it was adorable. She’s the red one!” Yang grinned as they dropped through the air, twisting to avoid a stray shot that was probably just meant to remove the rubble in front of her. “Seven, Penrose wanted to use my mane to crochet a pillow or something, and she was so sweet about asking I was tempted to say yes! She’s the rainbow colored one!”
Kicking off a rock because that hit was directed at her, she chuckled harder as she twisted around in the air to give her girls a two fingered salute. “Missed me that time!” She laughed loudly, before twisting back around. “Paisley, number six, is the quiet one, the blue one in the back. She doesn’t like loud sounds and tends to hide behind Pandora. The gold one in front of her. And Pandora, number ten, is the motherly one, stern, a touch severe, but it’s very clear she cares. Polaris, the yellow one, number five, really likes Dragons. Like first time she got deployed she begged me to let her ride on my back. I got shot in the mouth before I could actually say anything, little let down. Protea, number four, was the one that shot me in the mouth, she’s the pink one. Very rough in the way she speaks, kinda like me actually. An-oop.”
Kicking off the air, Yang avoided plowing into, and likely through, a building, and then skidded down the side of another one to land on the ground, immediately grabbing Blake and ducking into an alleyway. “Perri is number three and likes bugs and camping and animals. She was trying to figure out what I was while still trying to shoot me. The Orange one. Ripped out one of my teeth to put on display, actually. Fucking hurt. But she earned that trophy.” She rubbed her mouth for good measure, though there weren’t any gaps in her teeth. “Pallas, two, is the cat, cyan. Very imperious but I watched when they thought they got me and she demanded hugs from each of them. Very cute. Prima, number one obviously, was trying to calculate how much I ate at any one point, and wondered if Atlas had scared off my food source and that was why I was attacking, before they connected my dragon self with my hybrid form. She’s smart. Smarter than I am by a lot. The purple one.” She finished, and watched as the girls all flew overhead before going back into one of Atlas’ main towers.
“... That’s certainly a list,” Blake mumbled quietly from Yang’s arms, ears twitching slightly while she scanned for other threats. “Also, you know you didn’t have to grab me to dodge like that, right? I was in the middle of aura farming and you totally killed the vibe.”
“Yeah but your field is barren and your crops are frozen cause the area sucks, so there’s no time to farm. I need to establish my boot into someone’s ass and I gotta find Pietro to tell him I ain't paying child support.” Yang grinned, dropping a kiss onto Blake’s head and giving her a gentle pat. “Now let’s go so you can meet your step daughters.”
“Feels really awkward to call a bunch of girls who’re probably mentally somewhere between Ruby’s age and our age my stepdaughters, y’know,” Blake sighed, but otherwise didn’t actually move from Yang’s arms. “Especially when we know damn well that if any of them hit it off with Ruby… and… even if Ruby isn’t other Ruby, I can’t see them not… she’s gonna try and get all of ‘em pregnant.”
“I’m aware, but that don’t mean I’ll be involved while it’s happening.” Yang ‘cheerfully’ hummed as her face kind of locked into a severe expression, before she dragged Blake further into Atlas’ underbelly. “I know that Ruby’ll be trying, and I’ve accepted that. We had a talk about it. I’m uncomfortable with the idea of being on my back beside them while it happens, but I don’t have an actual problem with it. And besides that, they’re only two at most. Robot wise that don’t mean much, but it still means that they’re my sudden teen baby scare, and I wanna be part of their lives.”
“Right…” Blake continued to just dangle from Yang’s arms, content to allow Yang to carry her everywhere like the lazy cat she was. She was still slicing security cameras in half as she spotted them, but that was no more effort than pointing and flicking her finger a little. “I guess I can follow that logic. By the way, if they start shooting at us when they see us, does that mean we have to just kinda sit there and take it, or do we try to talk them down or…? Because I’m not gonna fight back, they’d probably die even if I went easy on them.”
“I’m gonna talk up my kids cause they can actually hurt, babe, but also if you kill them I’m gonna be incredibly angry and incredibly depressed, and I’ll probably knock out the CCT tower in my throes of agony.” Yang immediately said back. “Just try to avoid getting hit.”
“I mean I’m like, what, 2-C Low Multiversal, Massively FTL+ combat and reaction speed,” Blake snickered to herself at her own godawful lame joke, sticking out her tongue. “They’re probably not hitting me unless I get really distracted by your boobs in the middle of a fight, and even then I’m Low Multiversal durability so it’s whatever.”
“I’m gonna fucking throw up in my mouth if you ever say that shit again.” Yang immediately gagged, shaking her head. “But also, they can hurt me, and we both know I can tank a hit better if you turn your regen off.”
“I’m…” Blake tilted her head. “... Y’know I have no idea if that’s true or not. I haven’t ever tanked a hit like that in this life but I’m certainly not willing to try. I’ll just… if they shoot regular bullets at me I’ll just do that one really cool sword thing I did against Dante that one time. Y’know, on top of the Temen Ni Gru? God that was cool…”
“You are such a nerd.” Yang said fondly, shaking her head as they found themselves in front of Lab 02. “Well. Here we are.” Despite how brash she was, there was a hint of nervousness on Yang’s face. Also she was kind of sweating and her leg was twitching. “Just… one step.”
“Yang, dear? Do you want me to open the door for you?” Blake asked, raising an eyebrow at Yang’s uncharacteristic level of nervousness. “It’s okay to be nervous, just… we should probably do this before we get all of Atlas’ military dumped on our heads because you took too long to say hi.”
“They know better.” She immediately said back, before sucking in a breath and taking hold of the door handle, pushing it open with her shoulder before she lost her nerve, and entering the lab of ‘Geppetto’, Pietro Polendina. The man himself looked up and then blinked in surprise at seeing her.
“I wasn’t expecting any visitors…” the man mumbled, then squinted and gasped. “You-! You’re the one who was causing a ruckus outside! What are you doing here!?”
Clicking her tongue as she looked around, she could actually see where the Polendina Sisters were slotted when they weren’t active, ten life pods, or something similar to them, lined against the wall. Well cared for. “Do you remember three years back, you prayed for absolution?” She asked instead of answering the man. “You prayed to have the strength to finish your project, your girls, without dying?”
“I- yes… but how…? How could you possibly know about that…?” Pietro asked with somewhat terrified confusion, his eyebrows furrowing in thought. “There were no cameras in that room, I made sure of it… what are you implying, ma’am?”
“You saw the Gold Dragon fly by when you prayed. I saw a begging man asking for help.” She finished with a soft smile, and then rubbed her jaw. “And then a year and a half later one of the girls ripped my canine out. That actually hurt by the by.” She said with a small aside, and then dropped onto the man’s desk. “I’m saying I gave you that strength. Didn’t realize what it meant, thought I was dreaming. Didn’t think about what it meant that the ten had my aura. Realized it earlier in the month. Are they treated well by anyone that isn’t you, or just a means to an end?” She turned, looking at Pietro with an almost bored gaze, if you couldn’t notice the concern hidden under it.
“They’re… you’re-” Pietro just seemed quietly amazed, as if he didn’t really believe what Yang was saying. Still, he stood up- a little wobbly with his cane, but far better than being wheelchair-bound like he almost certainly should have been. “If what you’re saying is true… then… thank you. For allowing me to have my little girls. For letting me have a family. I- wish I could say that they have the life they deserve, but… I’m afraid I may have made them a little too well, based on the schematics I used as a template…”
Blake, still in Yang’s arms, slowly slipped out and quietly stood to the side, going largely unnoticed because of the dim lighting in the lab- not that it was made that way, but apparently Pietro liked keeping the lights off if he wasn’t working in any particular section.
“Ten girls, all of them with enough firepower to actually break bits of me off…” Yang frowned, before hopping off the desk and helping Pietro stand. “I came here to see how my girls were being treated, if they were happy. Since the only time I ever really get to see them is when I make a flyby, and I wouldn’t be able to get up here without extreme amounts of property damage otherwise, I decided to fly in. I also wanna know if they’re being paid or if they’re being exploited.” She doesn’t give Pietro a side-eye, knowing that the man wouldn’t have any input in how Atlas ran things. But the irritation in her voice was still there. “What’d you guys do with my tooth, by the way? I was always curious.”
“Perri had Penrose turn it into a dragon statue, actually…” Pietro answered with a little bit of trepidation, not particularly bothered by Yang’s proximity- after all, if she’d wanted him dead, he would be. He had no delusions about that. “It isn’t in the lab, though, it’s somewhere safe- I figured it would be a bad idea to let the higher ups try and pull usable DNA off of it. Atlas already treats my babies like war machines, I won’t let them try to grow a new person just to use it as a weapon.”
“Huh. Deja vu.” Yang quietly muttered, before shrugging. “Still, sounds awesome actually. Better than what I expected, them trying to turn it into some kind of stupid super material and then realizing it was just very durable enamel. It’s a tooth, but people always try to say it’d make some kind of super weapon.” She shook her head in exasperation. “Had one guy try to stab me with a knife made from a tooth once, thing snapped cause it was fucking enamel. It’s not made for that.”
“... I see. No, no, we have better materials than simple enamel, no matter how durable it must be to handle being that large without losing its material strength,” Pietro shook his head, then took a shallow breath as a pause. “I won’t tell you that my daughters… I suppose our, if you truly wish to claim them… are being treated as they should… but I can’t do anything about it at the moment. I am… truly sorry, but… the fact of the matter is, the window I could have used to send them anywhere else away from Atlesian scrutiny has long since passed- passed before I could even fake a system failure in Prima. They’re so bright, so kind, and they deserve to explore and see the world as they wish… but currently, they cannot leave Atlas except for the most important of missions. The General calls them Atlas’ Ten Shining Stars, a propaganda effort to try and make the military look better, keep dissent down… they seem rather taken with being an entire Kingdom’s personal heroes at the moment, and I don’t want to take that happiness from them either.”
“Hmm.” She hummed, before letting go of the man so he could stand on his own two feet, walking over to look into one of the pods with a curious air. “I guess that’s better than I hoped, at least. No real leash, no chain. No other uses they have to follow. They aren’t used for suppression, because Ironwood and the other dipshits would know how that’d turn out, even if they don’t know there’s a piece of me in them…” Yang slowly trailed off, running her hand along the glass of… Protea’s chamber. “I’m glad they’re happy. Do you mind if I… Do you mind if I speak to them? Maybe explain that I’m not here to attack?” She turned to look at Pietro, her nervousness returning despite… everything. “And of course I’m claiming them. They were made from me, that’s how it works.”
Pietro sighed, moving over to the control console. “They might be hostile to you at first, but… yes. It’s the least I can do for the one who enabled their births to begin with. And- by the way, who is… your friend over there…?”
Blake waved from the shadows, where she was currently aura farming like a particularly menacing ninja in the dark. “Oh hey, I’m Blake. I’m Yang’s wife, nice to meet you.”
“A pleasure, ma’am,” Pietro nodded, somewhat awkwardly, because most of what he could see of Blake was just her golden eyes glowing in the dark, and her silhouette against the dimmed areas of the lab.
“Just try to ignore her. She’s trying to be cool by hiding in the shadows, calls it ‘aura farming’.” Yang waved a hand flippantly, before stepping back from the pods and blowing out a sigh. “Jeez. I’m less nervous about having to fight them then I am actually speaking to them. That’s so stupid…”
“You are meeting your kids for the first time,” Pietro chuckled, activating the release mechanisms for each pod. “I’m told it’s quite normal to be a little nervous. Well… here goes.”
Life was definitely strange for Yang Xiao-Long.
“Nya mrrp meow myaaa~”
“Meow nyaa mew mrrp mrrr~”
“... I don’t think that’s normal,” Paisley mumbled at barely audible levels, poking her fingers together and staring at Blake and Pallas, who had been meowing at each other for the last ten minutes without stopping. “Is that normal…?”
“It’s cat autism to cat autism communication. There’s no actual language, they’re just making sounds with different tones and inferring what it means after.” Yang said back from her current spot against the ground, her daughters trying to crush her with hugs. “Normality is overrated as well, considering you girls are androids made from the soul of a Dragon.”
Admittedly, Yang was trying to not pay attention to Polaris, who currently was letting out the deepest “YEAAAAAAAAAAH!” with her fists clenched that she’d heard in a long while after learning that the aura they were made from came from an actual, for real, Dragon.
It’s very cute but if she looked she felt like it’d embarrass Polaris, and she doesn’t want to be the embarrassing parent at this point in time. That can be Blake’s job. Or Pietro’s.
“I suppose…” Paisley nodded slowly, then rejoined the pile of cuddly androids currently more or less using Yang like a jungle gym.
There’d been a lot of questions and a lot of girls talking faster than either Yang or Blake could really process not long ago, but given that they were all rather calm now, it seemed like the initial rush of curiosity of Yang and Blake’s respective existences had worn off and they were more or less content to exist around the two newcomers instead of hounding them with this or that.
At least Blake had managed to talk at the same speed as the girls, if not faster, she just hadn’t been able to keep up with answering all of those questions at the same time.
Yang on the other hand had dried tear tracks on her face from where she started crying when the girls immediately decided to actually call her ‘mom’, ‘mother’, or ‘ma’, but didn’t comment on it and instead just happily held them.
“You’ll get used to it, Paisley. Don’t worry.” Yang gently assured her, moving her hand to rub small circles in the girl’s back. “I mean-... if you want me to keep visiting, I mean. It’s up to all of you. Since you might not want me to come back to Atlas cause it means you have to fly out and shoot me and I dunno if that-I mean I’m not mad or anything and it’s entirely okay cause none of you knew but I mean are you all okay or-”
“Shh,” Pandora shushed Yang with a finger to the lips, smiling at her gently with a gaze that seemed wise beyond her… two physical years and roughly seventeen-ish years of simulated development. “It’s alright, mother. We’ll come visit whenever you like. I think it could be fun, although the General might be… somewhat reluctant to let us all go.”
“If the General tries to stop us then I won’t hold back,” Protea mumbled, already ready to blow up the government if it tried to hurt her family. Even if the government was kinda responsible for their existence.
“Blake taught me what ACAB means!” Pallas spoke up suddenly, finally un-loafing and springing to her feet. “And how it applies to Atlas!”
“And you thought it was just random cat noises,” Blake huffed, crossing her arms. “Catspeak is real, Yang. It’s just that the only people who can use it are either Cat Faunus… or robot catgirls, I guess.”
“Uh-huh.” Yang flatly said, looking at Blake disbelievingly, before looking back at her girls. “Anyway. Try not to put yourselves in danger. The General as he is right now is… fine? But if he starts to spiral it’ll get pretty bad pretty fast. Are you all happy in Atlas, by the way?”
“It could be much worse,” Penny stated with the same vivacious energy as every version of her seemed to have. “Although, we are all very interested in developing our own personal styles, as is allowed for all students of the Atlesian Huntsman Academy under its student uniform guidelines, however we are still in the middle of the enrollment process, and the General has not yet approved our entrance. Most likely because there are ten of us, and ten students do not fit evenly into three teams.”
“They do if you have a holoprojector,” Penrose grumbled, crossing her arms irritably. “Hmph. It’s a good idea…”
“He could just make two teams of five. It’d save time.” Yang gently pointed out as she wiggled her arm out from underneath several android girls to gently rub her thumb against Penrose’s arm. “But that is a good idea. Just that it isn’t feasible for Huntsmen teams because it can distract people at important moments. If it was purely military teams that would be a different story.”
“The Ace Ops currently have a team of five,” Penny nodded, accepting the logistical effort. “Though, there is the chance that General Ironwood will allow two of us to have regular student team members… though I will admit, there is a logistical challenge in keeping the secret of our cybernetic nature hidden.”
“If only we got approved for false stomachs,” Polaris sighed, swooning somewhat dramatically. “... Or if I was allowed to have horns and a tail…”
“I want cat ears and a tail,” Pallas nodded slowly. “And a big hoodie! With cat ears on the hood.”
“... Isn’t that somewhat redundant…?” Protea asked, staring at Pallas oddly. “Why do you want cat ears on everything if you’re just going to add cat ears to your skeletal superstructure the moment it’s approved?”
“Kitty ears are cute,” Pallas asserted.
“Kitty ears are very cute,” Blake agreed sagely, giving Pallas a high five. “Yang, I like this one, can we take her back with us?”
“If we’re taking one we’re taking all of them.” Yang firmly stated, squeezing the girls currently cuddled up to her. “I refuse to entertain the idea of only one of them being outside of Atlas. But if we do that it could hurt Pietro as well.” She huffed, before slowly blinking. “Hmm. There’s a thought… Uh, Pallas, do you mind if I try something?”
“Mrrp?” Pallas asked wordlessly, tilting her head at Yang the exact same way that Blake often did. It was almost uncanny, the way that Blake mirrored her a second later.
Adorable. Still. “Uh… sorry, just gotta remember what it was…” Yang slowly trailed off with a frown, before nodding. “XJ-02 Reconfiguration Protocol. Calibrate… Cat Ear sensors?” She finished a touch hesitantly.
“Nya?” Pallas continued to make cat noises… up until she straightened up and flinched as a pair of metallic, fully articulated cat ears popped out of her head… along with a robotic tail. “Nyaa! Cat ears! And a tail! Sensational!”
Her sisters, watching this, clapped politely while Pallas cheered.
“Oh good, it worked. And also confirmed a thought in my brain.” Yang nodded to herself, smiling up at Pallas. “You girls can reconfigure yourself on the fly. Mostly. So things like stop signs, or football helmets, or cat ears, or horns, or a drill… Even a fountain if you have enough water.” She slowly sat up, careful to not push off any of her daughters as she gently explained. “You’re all made from Jenny’s schematics, I’m gonna assume. Or just Missus Wakeman’s designs. But she didn’t have access to half the stuff on Remnant, so you’re arguably even better. Which also explains why you managed to do so much to me when I flew over.” Yang finished with a mildly sheepish chuckle.
“We were made to be combat ready!” Petra smiled, reconfiguring one of her hands into a fucking chainsaw right then and there. “Oh! Wonderful! I have always wanted a chainsaw attachment!”
“I had surmised that we would be able to reconfigure more weaponry than what was already integrated,” Prima murmured softly, tapping her chin. “The internal nanite fabrication and subspace storage didn’t otherwise make sense, nor did the rapid shift articulating external plating. “I suppose we had just never tried, given that we were never ordered to.”
“Well now you know.” Yang nodded, before looking outside and sighing. “It’s getting late. Blake and I should probably get out of here before they finally figure out where we are. You girls can visit me any time, and if I’m not on Patch I’m in Vale, alright? You’ve got my scroll number, and if you need to stay away from Atlas I can set you all up somewhere quiet.” She promised, giving her girls one last squeeze before slowly breaking away from their grip. Reluctantly, and clearly not wanting to entirely, but knowing she needed to.
She also did her best to not cry from having to do that.
“We will absolutely take you up on your offer,” Pandora nodded, acting as the voice for the sisters. “And we are very happy to meet you properly, mother and stepmother!”
“Aww, it was nice meeting you all too,” Blake murmured, smiling softly with just a hint of a tear in her eye.
“Alright.” Yang’s voice may have broken, but no one commented on that as she walked over to Blake. “Let’s get out of here. Before I do something I’ll probably end up regretting.”
“Right, we’ll… we’ll go then,” Blake nodded, slicing a portal for them to leave through, the both of them vanishing from the lab a moment later.
“... I think this means we are demi-gods,” Penrose spoke up in the ensuing silence, staring somewhat blankly at the spot where their mother and stepmother had gone. “Sensational!”
Life was good for the Polendina Decuplets.
Chapter 43: Beacon Days: Mahogany Decked Board (Ruby 10)
Chapter by Argo_The_Rat, CyberQueen_Jolyne, InternecionWitch
Summary:
Ruby and Weiss do a crime
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“So Weiss.” Ruby somewhat resented the immediate ‘oh shit’ look that came upon the woman she had, multiple times, pumped full of cum. Even if that was probably why she had that look. “Have you ever wanted to combine a mafia movie with powered skateboards?”
Technically they weren’t skateboards at all. More snowboards that floated over the ground that… basically literally every single civilization that had even close to the tech for it had. They were surprisingly ubiquitous. Probably helped by how damned simple they were. Or something. Whatever.
The technological advancement of civilizations was better left to other eldritch entities. Ruby just made things using them. Regardless-
“Because with Blake and Yang in Atlas we probably should do something, and it probably shouldn’t be filling you with cum.” Probably. That likely came out a little petulant, but whatever. Weiss was shortly after surgery. She needed to rest. A good gunfight was a good way to do that. Besides- obviously the DNA wasn’t quite right and she needed some time to mess with it. Who knew changing egg DNA into viable sperm cells would be so hard? It was like every other advanced planet could do it at will!
Weiss leaned forward in her chair. “I mean, I haven’t considered combining a mafia movie with powered skateboards before but now that you’ve put the idea in my head I definitely want to. Besides, it'll distract me from my evil plans to rip Atlas out of the sky.”
“That’s a good thing?” Probably. People usually tried to stop you if you wanted to rip something out of the sky. Some fun fights those. “Whatever, I need you to keep at my back. A bunch of idiots challenged me and now I need to rob a bank faster than they can.”
Ruby reached into her cloak and pulled out a large snowboard looking thing. The surface was a constantly shifting snowscape. The snowflakes were even randomly generated! It was such a bitch managing it. Her other hand pulled out what looked like the horrific lovechild of an AUG and a G11.
“You’ll need these. Careful with the gun, it shoots lightning.” Technically they were flechette self charged taser spokes, but lightning sounded cooler. Much less likely to kill, and much less enjoyable because of it. Still, those were the rules.
“If there's one thing I can be trusted not to do, it's be careful. I’ll try my best though.” Weiss took the gun carefully in one hand. “Is it bad that I’m slightly disappointed it's not arcing with electricity randomly? Because that's technically really dangerous but also its really cool.”
She pointed the gun and aimed it into the forest, not anywhere in particular just aiming. “Hmm… It's a bit heavy, but I'll get used to it.” She stored away the weapon in a quickly generated Glyph and took the board from Ruby’s other hand.
“Okay, now this is cool.” Weiss muttered to herself as she inspected the constantly shifting snowscape. “I wonder if I can still...” She placed the board on the ground and hopped onto it. For a moment it looked like she might balance on it, if not a bit wobbly. At least until it slipped out from in front of her leaving her tumbling down onto her ass. “Ow. Whatever, I’ll figure it out.”
“Better figure it out fast.” Ruby hopped onto her own board, which was entirely black with rose petals falling down it. “Right, so. The objective of this hunt is simple- Ouroboros Corp has just hit a massive windfall that they’re trying to hide after they got a gavel shoved right up the ass. People are pissed they’re trying to dodge around money to not pay after they got clapped for it straight, and it got leaked how they’re moving the money. Twenty-three trucks got pointed at as moving nothing but their funds to different banks, brokers, and everything else that works with money to try and launder it and send it overseas. We’re hitting the Big One. Biggest truck, carrying the most money, and heading right toward Flying Freedom bank- whose private security are notoriously itchy.”
“It’s got a big escort and a lot of attention. A few others are probably going to try and grab and there's definitely enough money out there for a whole bunch to go home rich. The truck just needs to be stopped. Which is where we come in. Hit the guards, stop the truck, break the back, and grab as many bags of cash as you can before we split out. Cops will hit… eventually. Depends on if the Corp is greasing the commissioners hands. So best hit it quick, because they have some heavy guns.”
Weiss picked herself up and hopped back on the board, actually managing to stick on it this time “Got it, Stop the truck, break the truck, steal from the truck, get away from the truck. I always love a good opportunity to do crime. Or stick it to rich assholes. Or both.”
Weiss carefully pushed off the ground with her leg and got some momentum. Carefully she tilted her body forward causing the board to go into a slow and wide counter clockwise turn. “Alright, when do we head out? And where are we taking the money when we’re done?”
“I dunno.” The money wasn’t the point. “You can keep it if you want. Go shopping. Get laser eyes or rave lights to change your eye color or something.”
“Also we’re going right now.”
The floor promptly dropped out to deposit them both in a dirty alleyway filled with mostly vulgar anti-corpo graffiti.
Weiss picked herself off the ground. “Please warn me before you rip open a hole in the fabric of the universe and shove me through while riding a hoverboard.” She groaned as she picked up her hoverboard again. “I’ll probably burn the money then if you don’t mind. It’ll be funny.”
“Constant vigilance!” Ruby zoomed out of the alleyway onto the street beyond. It was slightly drizzling and almost completely dead . Dead in a way roads very rarely got, and almost never got with the sun still up. The cause was rather obvious. Or its sound was obvious at least. A massive roar bounced off the walls and down the streets, an engine revving and revving, drowning out everything else. At the very edge of the road the back half of whatever was causing it could be seen, a bunch of goons in basic armor and holding assault rifles. “Heads up, fuckwits!”
The board accelerated, a streak of red down the road. The security team completely failed to respond to the noise, being… y’know, almost deaf from the sound of engines revving.
Damnit.
Whatever. They noticed her coming a bit later. Guns popped up and officially ‘justified’ her shooting back. Why that was a thing here she had no idea, but it was something the… what did they call themselves again? Whatever. It was something the less than legal sorts kept to. You could only bring up what the other side was willing to call down. It was stupid, but that was the rule.
“Warn me before you rush off like that Moody!” Weiss called out with a grin on her face. “Now, let's go be gay and do crime!” Weiss punched a bullet as it was sent to her, launching it back into the person that shot it at her with an explosion.
Weiss pulled out the gun Ruby gave her earlier and aimed it at one of the guards. The combination of an unfamiliar weapon and how fast she was going combined to make it harder than usual. But, when she pulled the trigger the shot hit, electrocuting a guard and knocking them onto the floor.
“Now you get it!” Ruby swiped past the burst of gunfire to fire her oversized handgun at another guard. The spike that was suddenly sticking out of him didn’t seem to hurt. The fact that it erupted into arcs of electricity did. Nice. A quick swing had her sweep past the cars to get a look at the transport down the road.
It’d come loaded for bear . More of a tank than a money truck, and those were already basically tanks in the first place. About… three trucks were behind it, maybe twenty people in all, and two of those trucks had mounted fifty caliber machine guns. Which… well it wasn’t like it was a bad idea to have them, but still. Little much.
“I’ve got an amazing idea.” Weiss called out, which meant she was probably about to do something kind of stupid. She accelerated forward to one of the trucks with a mounted machine gun and landed on top of the trunk with a clunk.
She was met with an absolutely terrified goon manning the gun in front of her. “Hi, are you interested in joining the goonion?” Weiss said calmly as she ripped the mook out of their seat and tossed them off the truck. “Talk to your goonion representative! You have nothing to lose by breaking your chains!” She called out to them as they tumbled on the asphalt.
With the machine gun now unoccupied and free for the taking Weiss grabbed hold of it and aimed it at the other guard truck, whose occupants seemed to be rapidly reconsidering their career path. Weiss pulled the trigger and began shredding the truck. When her opponent finally seemed to wise up and started firing back she parried it, sending the bullets back and exploding the truck.
Literally every single gun within hearing distance snapped immediately onto Weiss. Including those not even on the trucks or in the hands of any of the security team. About half the street seemed to spontaneously generate guns, just to point them at her. The other half of the street was occupied by a variety of rather plain looking men, and women, in suits. Also pointing guns at her.
“I don’t think they liked the you know what talk.” Ruby slid past the entire convoy, none of them paying her a second glance as she swept by the treads of the tank and cut them. “Have fun with that!”
As soon as the back got cut open and the stacks of bags filled with money revealed it looked like a riot of color popped out. People in a variety of looks, from silly to overly serious, came out brazen as could be. All content in the knowledge that someone else had done something so monumentally stupid they didn’t have to worry.
It was a good day to be literally anybody but Weiss Schnee.
“I don’t think they liked the union talk.” Weiss muttered to herself. The moment she said the word again the numerous guns began firing on her all at once. She dashed to dodge nearly all of them, the few she didn’t bouncing off her aura, and with a black Glyph multiplied her momentum to launch herself into the back of the money truck. Out of sight from most of the guns.
“Welp. This is definitely a situation.” She thought aloud as she picked herself out of the massive pile of money. The sane thing to do would be to cut her losses, try to de-escalate, and head back to Remnant before she could get killed. Unfortunately Weiss was anything but sane.
“Time to create an even bigger situation then!” Weiss declared as she opened a bag with Gambol Shroud and tossed it out the back. The bag quickly caught the wind and dumped all sorts of bills everywhere. Some tighter bound packs bounced across the asphalt and some managed to escape their paper wrappings to fly free in the wind.
And then, amidst a hail of bullets- two very welcome words filled the air.
“SLAY! ALL!”
For a moment, it almost seemed as if the entire world froze in stillness as a million bright streaks of light seemed to slash their way across the street, bounding back and forth until it all culminated in a single figure landing before Weiss while sheathing her blade.
Click.
Just as quickly as she came, every gun pointed even vaguely in Weiss’ direction fell apart in scraps, and most of their wielders fell down dead as well. Blake, meanwhile, just smiled at Weiss and saluted. “Yo! Seems you’re in a bit of a scrap. What’d I miss?”
“Well that just killed the fun of it.” Ruby sighed. “You broke the rules, Blake. That’s why Weiss was using a non-lethal gun.” Even as she spoke everyone was clearing out as fast as they could. Some even dropped the sacks of cash as they did so. “Because now they come down, and nobody wanted that.”
“... Whoops,” Blake shrugged sheepishly, not at all sure what she’d stepped into. “Sorry about that. Guess I overreacted a little, huh?”
That was approximately the moment the low altitude satellite managed to get a target lock. It announced this by sending down several bruisers, as dictated by the programming comparing the damage done and assigning a proper threat level.
The bruisers announced themselves by trying to crush Blake’s head under their multi-ton boots.
“Wuh oh,” Blake mumbled, staring somewhat blankly… up until the point that she just dashed out of the way, scooting back until she could get a better view of what she was up against. “So uh… Does this mean that we go home or… does this mean I hit back?”
Weiss shrugged. “We could go, we did what we came here to do and all.” She began spinning Gambol Shroud by its ribbon in an arc to her side to build momentum. “I’m perfectly happy to stab and shoot them until they stop moving though.”
“You started this.” Ruby shrugged, the bags of cash disappearing behind her. “How it ends is up to you.”
Blake sighed. “Right. Then, one more go before I run out of magic and disappear.”
Her form burned. Devil magic filled the air. Once more for those who hadn’t heard it before.
“SLAY ALL!”
Notes:
The relationship between the corps, the government, and those outside of either is the weirdest case of professionalism in the world.
It isn't based on anything, beyond being cyberpunk.
Chapter 44: Vytal Season - Return to Beacon
Chapter by Argo_The_Rat, CyberQueen_Jolyne, desolatedsabers, InternecionWitch
Chapter Text
“Ahhhh! After ten thousand years I’m free! It’s time to conquer Remnant!” Blake cheered, stepping foot back on campus after a two week break between semesters. The last… entire month before that had been so fucking boring and news-less that Team RWBY had resorted to actually acting like, gasp, normal students.
Also there’d been a little bit of that Grimm cult stuff, but otherwise it was uh… boring.
Penny came to visit, having managed to sneak off for a few days while the other sisters covered her, but also informed them that she was the only one who could visit, mostly because she was, somehow, the best at being subtle.
Somehow.
“Quick, Weiss. You need to gather teenagers with attitude.” Yang snorted from beside her wife, grinning at their girlfriend with a mildly bored expression. “You need a red one, a yellow one, a pink one, a blue one, and a green one.”
“Of course of course. They can fight one of her minions a week. Then after a while they can confront Blake directly while she sits dramatically in a lawn chair.” Weiss did her best to hide her giggles behind her hand.
“The plastic monobloc is a classic,” Blake huffed, rolling her eyes. “Anyway, who wants to go spike Ozpin’s blood pressure the day before classes start up again by going through a cafeteria destroying food fight with JNPR? That, or like… I dunno, see what JNPR’s up to? Did we ever meet Sun at any point in the last month or so? I swear, that man is so forgettable I straight up forgot he was supposed to show up sometime last semester.”
Weiss shrugged. “I mean, if it's important he’ll probably turn up. Not like there was a time for us to meet him if we skipped the dock fight. I’m down to give Ozpin even more health problems. After I left Lionheart's tea set with a black queen chess piece in his office, he's gotten a little… stressed to put it lightly.” She gestured to the top of the CCT tower where curtains covered every window.
“I think, just maybe, we should leave him alone for the semester. He’ll get more and more paranoid when nothing happens. And then we can send him to the hospital during the Vytal festival.” Yang grinned deviously, her fangs glinting with malevolent light.
“True,” Blake nodded slowly, then paused. “... Yang? Weiss? Ruby? Are we uh… technically filling in for the villains now? I mean, Yang basically owns Torchwick and the White Fang and Cinder’s kinda a nonissue and… like… there’s that cult stuff and the demon stuff going on yeah, but we’re fucking with Ozpin’s head more than Salem ever did. Why are we doing that again, other than like… it’s kinda funny?”
“Mostly because it's funny.” Weiss wasn’t even bothering to hide her grin at this point. “Being the bad guys is fun though. Just because you’re a bad guy, doesn’t mean you’re a bad guy , you know?”
“I mean, hey. Cinder’s useless and Salem is getting piped, so someone needs to bully the man. And by god we’re all equipped to do it.” Yang said passionately, putting her hands on her hips and nodding as she noticed Ozpin’s curtains flutter. “Man knows what we’re planning, and he’s dreading it. And hey, this way’s better then ending the world anyway. No one’s actually getting hurt, and we can probably fix a heart attack.”
“Hm?” Ruby looked up from the… truly massive book she had. “I was making sure everything was in order. Usual things. Class schedules, robbery schedules, weapon maintenance, leaving random things made of even more random things in Ozpin’s office, and mission schedules. Plus figuring out where I need to be for some things.” She checked the book for a moment. “I need to turn into a crow and resurrect a guy soon. Have him hunt down the people who fucked over his life and killed him. Then make a triskelion out of cheese and leave it on Ozpin’s desk.”
“Ruby, please don’t recreate the Crow just to fuck with Ozpin.” Yang said with a smile. “He already has a Crow that came back from the dead, and that’s Qrow.”
“Recreate what now?” Ruby tilted her head to the side, book disappearing into her cloak. “I just… need to satisfy a prayer? From a guy a bunch of dimensions away. What is The Crow?”
“Comic book. ‘N a movie. Two movies technically, but the first one never came out.” Yang hummed, before picking up Blake and carrying her for kicks. “Basically, guy dies, comes back from the dead, gets revenge on the people that wronged him in life as… The Crow.” She said, lowering her voice to be dramatic, before perking right back up. “Very gothic horror kinda vibe. It was neat.”
“Weh!” Blake did her thing and just perched on Yang’s shoulder, completely unconcerned with Yang and Ruby’s conversation because she wasn’t that knowledgeable about old movies. “Crows are cool. Owls are cuter though. Ah, if I hadn’t been a cat I’d have loved to have been an owl.”
“Owls are cool. And I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’ve done this so many times .” Ruby shrugged. “People really like getting revenge and there aren’t many things out and around that’ll actually bring someone back for it. I can only do it because it technically qualifies as a hunt, since they otherwise don’t have a contract with me.” She waved an arm. “Anyway, any idea what Five and Pyrrha did over the break? I only saw them once for a little bit to drop off the improved Crocea Mors. Had to do a bunch of stuff elsewhere.”
“No idea what exactly they were up to. But I can make a pretty good educated guess they were fucking a lot, probably.” Weiss deadpanned. “If you do actually resurrect that guy, keep us posted. I’m curious if he’ll actually manage it.”
“Oh, uh… Pyrrha cut ties with her mother because of… I’d have to check my scroll but it was something stupid. Probably the kind of argument that gets resolved in a month or two? Dunno.” Yang shrugged, before tilting her head opposite of Blake’s. “And I think Five, Jean, Jaune, Jenna… She’s been swapping through new and old names, uh, they went back to her parent’s place and her family have kind of collectively decided that the two of them are getting married and that’s important enough that Five’s dad is fine with her being a Huntsman, or Huntress.”
“Aww, that’s cute,” Blake smiled, wiggling and clapping her hands. “They do kinda give off the vibe of a couple that gets married straight outta school… or… gets married while they’re still in school, if they can find enough time over a break or something.”
She paused, then patted Yang’s head. “Hey Yang, do you wanna get married while we’re still in school or after we graduate?”
“I’m fine with it being during.” Yang smiled softly, and then looked over at Ruby. “Though we’d probably need to have a second one in Inkopolis for Rubes. Cause… y’know.”
“Works for me, I’m fine with whatever, but uh… I hope you don’t mind if I’m the one in a suit? I’m really bad at wearing wedding dresses,” Blake chuckled a little awkwardly, kicking her legs for emphasis. “I seriously can’t get comfortable in those and I’ve got no idea why.”
“Didn’t I already say I wanted you to wear a suit when I was reassuring you?” Yang pointed out, and then leaned against her wife. “I’m totally fine being in a dress. They make my waist look great.”
“They really do.” Ruby hummed as she leaned back and rested her head on her hands. “Probably be best to do it quick anyway. That way you don’t have to worry about tailoring the dress to match the baby bump.”
“That’s a good point, actually.” Yang nodded her head. “I mean, when’s the deadline for that? Or, the explicit one, not so much the informal one. I said my eighteenth, so that’s… end of this semester? Oh, boy, not a lot of time.”
“We could get married right after the semester ends,” Blake pointed out. “Win the Vytal Festival, leave our first year as champions, then just kinda… oh! Wait! Perfect wedding location! I can call my parents and we can go do it in Kuo Kuana!”
“That’ll be nice. You two could have a lot of fun. Try for dragon children… which is mostly just cat Faunus but more .” Ruby huffed out a laugh. “But! If you want Yang first I get you first! And Weiss! And Penny!”
Yang bit her tongue to avoid the immediate helicopter parent moment, and instead bumped her hip against Ruby. “Hey, you were the one I made the promise to, dummy. You have first dibs, we went into this knowing that. Just that you and me have to get married-married in Inkopolis, remember?”
“A Schnee in Menagerie, that could only end well. Whatever, I’ll figure it out, I’m not missing the wedding for anything.” Weiss put a hand to her chin. “I wonder if I can get some time with Sienna… I’ll figure it out when I get there.”
“Sienna is hot…” Ruby hummed for a moment, narrowing her eyes at Weiss. “I think… you’ll have a shot. She seems like she’d be interested in rough, angry sex.”
“... I’m really not… sure I want to think about Sienna like that…” Blake trailed off, then sighed and looked away. “... Then again, my parents treated her like they’re probably treating Qrow now, so what do I know? Anyway. I’m gonna call my parents, set up the wedding in Kuo Kuana… ooh, I could get a new suit, one with a nice floral embroidery…”
“I’m not sure if I’d want a kimono or a normal wedding dress.” Yang quietly mumbled to herself, frowning in thought. “The kimono is style, but the wedding dress is a classic…”
“If you wear a wedding kimono, I won’t be responsible for what I do to you after the reception ends,” Blake deadpanned, already blushing and breathing a little heavier at the thought. “You’d look amazing…”
Weiss hummed. “Definitely…” She trailed off as she imagined it. “We should definitely all go dress and suit shopping. Because even with the vast sea of random bullshit I have, a dress isn’t one of them. Somehow. I think I might have burned the ones I did have at some point.”
“Hm… traditional or no? I know a few places.” Ruby rubbed her chin. “Well… I know a lot of places. What even are the marriage traditions here? I never really… looked. Always felt weird to make a whole spectacle of it, if you’ve spilled blood together and trust each other enough to sleep then what more needs to be done?”
“Weddings are for several things. Tax write offs, legitimacy, and a way to keep your annoying family members emotional with an excuse to escape the proceedings and fuck like rabbits for several days.” Yang said with unexpected authority, before grinning. “Also food. Lots of food.”
“Weddings in Kuo Kuana are usually a big community affair. Lots of grannies cooking a feast, people setting up random party decorations…” Blake hummed, tilting her head and thinking back. “Casual dress code, too, except for the ones getting married. That tradition started because most of the Faunus coming to Menagerie didn’t exactly have a lot to work with, no fine clothes or anything. So… they just wore the best of what little they had, maybe a special hat or some jewelry. Mom and Dad’s wedding party lasted about… three days? Or at least, that’s how they tell it. Not that they were there the whole time. Just that the festivities kept going for three days, and Dad had to make like, seven different speeches about love and community, and I’m pretty sure after the second day it just started turning into other wedding ceremonies on the tail end while there was still food left.”
She paused. “Oh right, don’t worry about wedding gifts or whatever, it’s just the bride and groom’s immediate family doing the gifting thing. Usually. Aaaand also technically we could wear whatever we wanted to the altar? Man, I am just a font of exposition today.”
“Ahh, embargos.” Yang said with a wistful sigh. “I remember the embargo of Wano like it was yesterday. I fucking hated it cause I had to fly out for my favorite winter country peach wine. Winter peaches are the fucking bomb… Anyway I can probably start bringing money to Menagerie if I need to?”
“Hmm… something for Yang and Blake…” Ruby looked at nothing, lightly humming to herself. “What should I get?”
“Another weapon maybe? You can never have too many swords.” Weiss suggested. “I’ve got no idea what to get them either… I’ll figure it out.”
“A combined weapon… I could do it. Have to work for both of them though.” Ruby shrugged. “I’ll give it some thought. Maybe something akin to the Blades of Mercy.”
“It’s less about the money and more about the trade networks,” Blake sighed, patting Yang’s head. “Though, money is appreciated too. Kuo Kuana always needs more money… and yeah. Anyway… Does anyone wanna hang out with JNPR?”
“Are JNPR in a state to be hung out with… I feel like that sentence doesn’t work…” Ruby sighed and shook her head. “Whatever. Ren has that thing, right? I think you said something about it? And Five and Pyrrha are… probably doing something really weird. I never actually took away her dick, y’know? I asked if she wanted me to, but she said no. Gave her my number if she ever wanted to text me about it.”
“Right… yeah. Okay, well… we’ll see them in class, I guess?” Blake shrugged. “Whatever. Onward! Back to the dorms! Kitty wants a midday nap!”
Chapter 45: Vytal Festival - Silver Bullet.
Chapter by desolatedsabers
Chapter Text
“Oh shit right.” Yang immediately shot to a sitting position and then rushed out of their dorm room’s door. “Ren! Reeeen! We need to have a talk!”
Weiss bolted up and ran out the door after Yang. “Fuck, shit, fuck. I forgot about that. You’d think I’d remember someone selling their soul to the SDC probably but apparently not.”
“Ohhh right, that was a thing… kinda forgot about it in the face of the Polendinas,” Blake murmured, following along with a nod of her head. She also, for some reason, had Red Queen slung across her back, right next to Myrtenaster. It was a very awkward look considering the size difference between the two blades, but she kinda made it work.
“Why would the SDC even need that?” Ruby shook her head and waved before anyone said anything. “Don’t worry about it. You talk to Ren. I’m going to go kick Jacques in the dick. Again.”
“No killing him, yet. Unfortunately. “ Weiss instructed. “How's becoming the majority shareholder going anyway? Once we have them all we can finally kill him.”
“I’ve got my shares. I just need to make sure Jacques can’t pass along any more of his bitchless genes to anyone.” Ruby rubbed her neck and gave Weiss a thumbs up. “Congrats on you and your sister dodging them.” Then she was gone.
“Right, with that out of the way.” Yang deadpanned, before turning back to Team JNPR’s door and lifting her foot. “Team JNPR, I’m respecting your right to privacy by knocking, but I’m also exercising my authority by coming in anyway~!” With that, she booted the door open, knocking it off of its hinges with a wobble that showed the three of them… the room.
“Oh god why is half of the room just a giant splatter of red and yellow paint…?” Blake mumbled out with vague horror, staring at the mess and grimacing. “... And there’s only two double beds in here? I guess they didn’t really need all four twins… But why are both of them so… broken…?”
“Huh, part of me was honestly kind of expecting for there to just be one bed.” Weiss looked at Yang and Blake. “Let's be honest even if there's two beds they’ve all definitely fucked each other at least once. Which is also definitely why the beds are broken. I just hope that red and yellow paint is actually paint.”
“Considering they were in Inkopolis for a while? Doubtful,” Blake sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose. “Just- where the fuck is Ren?”
“... I was in the shower,” said twink replied, coming out of the JNPR bathroom and toweling off his hair. Thankfully, he was actually wearing clothes. “What’s up? You guys haven’t talked to us in… two weeks.”
“It’s a new semester and I only really kept up with Pyrrha and… Jean? Joan? What name is she on today?” Yang mumbled to herself, before shaking her head. “Not important, what is important is why would you make a deal to get cybernetics hooked up to your spine? Arms I can understand.”
“No judgement, being a cyborg is hella cool. Part of me is definitely considering asking Ruby to take me to get more in another dimension once they forget about the whole union thing.” Weiss trailed off. “Anyway, I am definitely judging you for going to the SDC for it. They suck. Always. And are evil. And are almost definitely planning to use and discard you the moment you stop being useful.”
“I know. But it was…” Ren shook his head, looking away dramatically in a manner that would have been super dramatic and suspenseful if it had been the golden hour and there was a camera zoom on his face. Sadly, it was three in the afternoon and the only cameras out there were Weiss’ eyes. “We were desperate. Nora was sick for the first time in years, we were flat broke and it was between combat school semesters- and the school we went to didn’t provide dorms over breaks. It was the only way I could get treatment for Nora, a place to stay for the month, and enough food to keep us going until the next semester started. Turns out, not a lot of jobs hire thirteen year old orphans.”
“Unless it’s the SDC,” Blake huffed.
“My father, once again proving himself to be an absolute bottom feeder and waste of oxygen. He’d be proud of unveiling the new Orphan Juicer 9000 to his investors. Especially since the Orphan Juicer 8000 has been on the market for seven years and I think they were planning to up the prices by 150%.” Weiss spat.
“If it was a year later…” Yang started, only to frown. “Actually no, you two were probably somewhere else instead of in Vale. Nevermind. Anyway, has it already gone through or are you expected to go through it this semester, cause word of warning if it connects to your spine wrong it’s stuck. Stuck stuck. Like Weiss.” She pointed to Weiss’ back, specifically the other woman’s wings.
Weiss shrugged. “I mean, that's not entirely a bad thing. I think they’re kinda cool honestly.”
“Yeah, but… they poke into my ass sometimes while we’re sleeping, and I don’t know how to tell you this but getting woken up by cold metal straight to my ass in the middle of the night isn’t really fun,” Blake deadpanned, poking one of said wings. “Seriously, they’re warm when you’re awake but when you’re dead asleep they’re cold as fuck.”
“I think I slapped you in the head one time when it got my bits.” Yang added after a moment, before turning back to Ren. “Anyway, uh… yeah.”
“I’m aware of the risks, and, again, it’s not like I can back out of it now,” Ren sighed, shaking his head. “The contract’s completion was deferred until I hit eighteen, which is probably why I’ve been getting ominous messages from Doctor Lune about it being time to pay up, and such and such.”
He paused. “Is it just me or does she have a terrible sense of humor? Weiss, you’ve known her longer, I assume. Has she… always been like… that?”
Weiss groaned. “If you mean making horrible puns and bursting into multiple minutes of maniacal laughter then yes. Yes she has. Once a surgery doubled in length because she said. ‘We’re really being scalped on the scalpels.’ and immediately collapsed onto the floor.”
Ren winced. “Charming.”
“That’s a terrible pun…” Blake made a face, shaking her head… and then looked at Yang pointedly.
“What?” Yang asked, tilting her head despite her smile. “What? Am I not your pun-geon master? Your pun-itent minister? Your pun-shot bride?”
“I want a divorce,” Blake groaned, sinking to the ground and curling up in a ball. “That was even worse.”
“Right… well. Now you know my secret,” Ren shrugged, scratching the back of his head. “Nora already knows, by the way. Same as Pyrrha and… right, this week it’s Jeanne. It’s not something I’m proud of, but it’s also not something I can get out of either. Besides… it seemed to have worked wonders for you, Weiss.”
Weiss’s legs extended up a couple inches as she threw her cybernetic arm around his shoulder now that she was tall enough to reach. “Ren, if there's one thing I’ve learned it’s that with enough violence we can solve anything. If you want out I am perfectly willing to go kill that psychotic pun doctor right now.”
“... Is it wrong to say that I kind of… don’t… want out…?” Ren asked, wincing a little. “They pay Nora and I’s rent in exchange for combat data… and also I think the robot arm will look really cool.”
“It is pretty cool," Blake nodded, lightly bumping Weiss’ robot arm. “Might even be better than Weiss’ arm, after so long in development.”
Weiss snapped with her other hand and let it land into a finger-gun. “Welcome to transhumanism Ren, it's cool as hell and comes with the ability to see shrimp colors if you pay enough. His definitely won’t be better than mine though. He actually has to worry about using more aura than he naturally generates.”
“Might just be more advanced to compensate,” Blake pointed out, then paused and tilted her head. “Aaaaand because my brain is stupid, now I’m thinking about demon colors, and if shrimp colors are the same as demon colors… probably not, there’s a lot of weird magic going on in there.”
“... I don’t think I want to know,” Ren muttered, then sat down on his sagging bed with a very, very gentle motion. “Is that all, by the way?”
“Yep. Got worried, forgot we found out about this a month ago, wanted to make sure this was an informed decision.” Yang nodded with a smile, before looking around the room. “I’m gonna ask how you sleep, but you don’t need to answer. I figure they go at it like rabbits. Or sharks.”
Weiss mimed a phone with her hand and gave it a little shake. “Give us a ring once they’re actually installed. I would not be surprised if they included a remote override or a mind control chip. Or some other kind of man made horror well within your comprehension.”
“Right… I’ll do that,” Ren nodded. He paused, then tilted his head. “And… one other thing, actually… Blake, where did you get that sword?”
Blake blinked. “... Found it. Why?”
Ren shrugged. “Just- thinking. Sometimes Nora used to doodle big swords before she settled on Magnhild, and I swear they looked just like that sword you have now.”
“... Well. That’s… interesting…” Blake murmured, paling ever so slightly. “I think… I need to go have a talk with Nora, if you know where she is.”
“She said she was getting some practice in over at the outdoor sparring grounds,” Ren mentioned lightly, completely clueless as to what caused Blake’s change in demeanor. “... is everything alright?”
“Just… gonna confirm something. Hopefully it’s nothing. If it’s not nothing… then it’s a little awkward,” Blake murmured, and then vanished through a portal.
Ren blinked. “... Somehow I forgot just how often she did that last semester.”
“You get used to it.” Weiss shrugged. “Honestly it's probably one of the least weird things she does.”
“... Right. So. I’m going to. Go to the library now.” Ren stated awkwardly. “... Are you uh… is that everything, then?”
“See ya. Enjoy not getting a good night sleep.” Yang waved over her shoulder as she walked back to team RWBY’s dorm, dropping onto the bed with a huff and immediately dozing off.
Life was good for Yang Xiao-Long.
“So. What do you know… about this blade…?” Blake asked dramatically, standing before Nora in an open air arena. The wind blew gently, ruffling the long tail of her coat, and she brandished Red Queen at the orange haired girl with nothing but dead serious melodrama in her voice.
Nora blinked. “... It looks just like those cool giant swords I used to dream about when I was ten! Before I hit puberty and transed my gender, at least! I always wanted to build a giant motorcycle sword, but I could only afford a grenade launcher hammer… sucks being poor, y’know?”
“Yeah,” Blake nodded, turning Red Queen over and jabbing it point first into the ground. “Well. It’s a funny coincidence that I found it, I guess. Just lying in a cult cave somewhere on Patch. Still… I’m not sure if I’m gonna keep it, though…”
“Huh, why not?” Nora asked, tilting her head in confusion. “It’s a cool-ass blade! And like, it fits your style!”
“It really doesn’t,” Blake shook her head, looking away. “I prefer smaller, more precise weapons. Not… these. Besides, if it fit anyone, it’d be Professor Qrow.”
“He does have that giant sword…” Nora nodded slowly… and then made a grabby motion towards Blake. “Can I have it, if you don’t?”
Blake… pursed her lips. She frowned a little, and then picked up said blade before tossing it at Nora handle first. “Fine. But… to prove that you’ll actually be able to use it… how about a spar?”
Nora frowned, catching Red Queen out of the air and almost instinctively revving it as if she’d known how to use it the whole time.
Hm.
That didn’t bode well- but…
Blake would see how this went. All the way through to the end.
“You know I’m probably not gonna win, right? I’m not exactly trained to use a sword,” Nora pointed out, even as she held the blade comfortably in one hand and lightly set Magnhild down by the side of the arena with her other. “Whoof, a little heavy, though… feels like this should be a little easier.”
“Don’t worry. It’s just to get you used to the idea of wielding it,” Blake promised, unsheathing Wilt and very carefully making sure not to immediately convert it into Yamato with her demonic energy. The crimson blade shone in the afternoon light, glimmering and gleaming down its length with the violent sparks of Blake’s Aura.
Nora took a ready position, more like she was about to use Red Queen like a club than a sword.
… Ironically, that only made Blake more worried.
A leaf fell between them.
An untold signal to start.
Both of them dashed forward… and the clanging of steel was all the arena would hear.
Far away, across Beacon, back in the RWBY dorm, the sound of the fight was… mostly inaudible. Sure, with enhanced senses it was still clear, but it just sounded like any other day of people sparring outdoors at Beacon. It was a nice day, people had been fighting literally all afternoon.
“I felt something was going to happen.” Ruby appeared with… a massive iron boot on. Just one. “Oh? A spar. Have we… ever sparred? It feels like we should have at some point…”
Weiss turned away from where she was looking out the window. “If we sparred we’d end up destroying at least two buildings. Which means we should definitely do it because it’ll mess with Ozpin.”
“Always a good thing. He really needs to chill. Go out and kill some Grimm. Relax, y’know.” Ruby smiled slightly at the thought. Then blinked as everyone looked at her. “What?”
“Eh, nothing.” Yang shook her head as she turned back to the spar. “Hundred bucks says Blake gets punched in the face after Nora yells ‘FUCK YOU’ as loud as she can.”
“No bet. You’re better at the whole,” Ruby waved her hand at the two, “people. Thing.”
“Ditto. Not really a fan of the whole betting thing.” Weiss collapsed down onto the bed.
“Fair enough, fair enough.” Yang shrugged, putting her hand under her chin and resting her elbow on her knee. “But it’ll happen. Mark my words. Our luck is so fucky that it’s practically destined.”
-ang Bang Bang! PULL MY DEVIL TRIGGER!
“FUCK YOU!”
Like clockwork, the moment Yang finished her sentence, a blast of demonic magic rippled over Beacon, shooting a beam of azure and bright pink flames straight into the sky while the Silver Bullet rendition of Devil Trigger began blasting loud and clear all over campus from every possible speaker.
And then Blake crashed through the window like a cannonball and rolled to a halt in an ungainly heap of fabric, ruffled fur, and her own Yamato stabbed straight through her gut.
“You doing alright, babe?” Yang sweetly asked, smirking down at the prone form of Blake. “I thought that Dante was the one that got his ass beat, and you shrugged it off?”
“Ugh… I’m fine…” Blake grumbled, stumbling to her feet and yanking Yamato out of her gut with a heavy crunch of regeneration and armored scales. “Just… bad memories. Dammit. She still has Devil Trigger, and it’s just as strong, just as annoying, and she’s STILL A FUCKING GORILLA WITH THAT GODDAMN SWORD!”
That last part was shouted out of the window, to be met with a distant retort of “WHO’S DEAD WEIGHT NOW, OLD BITCH!?”
“Oh that little-” Blake growled, already halfway through clambering out of the window. “We’re cancelling any plans we had for a JNPR/RWBY orgy, I’m stabbing Nora right through her goddamn gut and ripping my son’s soul out of her.”
“Don’t do that. But also I get it.” Yang mildly said, gently patting Blake on the head. “Go lose to your son again, babe, I’m rooting for you. To not end up in the hospital.” She said cheerily, giving Blake a thumbs up.
“We believe in you.” Weiss gave Blake a little hug. “Now go kick your kid’s ass. And remember to say jackpot after. That's the most important part and it's a crime you haven’t yet.”
“... If we’re not doing the orgy then I need to mess with some stuff.” Ruby tilted her head to the side. “And probably talk to Pyrrha.”
“I- fine, we can do the orgy but I’m not going near Nora because that’s way too awkward,” Blake mumbled, growling under her breath and flaring her demonic energy high enough that her hair turned white again. “Right. Time to show my own… technically daughter now… who’s the strongest demon in the world.”
And then she leapt out of the window, completely unaware of the irony behind that statement.
-I AM THE STORM THAT IS APPROOOOAAAAACHIIIIING!
-BANG BANG BANG! PULL MY DEVIL TRIGGER!
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-!”
“RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH-!”
“Oh, they broke a building already.” Weiss pointed out from where she was watching the fight with her elbow on the windowsill and her head in her hand. “Guess I underestimated our bullshit when I said just two.”
“Yeah no, Nora’s just unlocked Nero’s Devil Trigger, which is some shape of Holy or at least Holy Adjacent. I think the resemblance to Nelo Angelo has something to do with that?” Yang mumbled, before shaking her head. “Anyway, we already know Blake’s strong because of the Qliphoth fruit, which I think carried over. But Nora’s got Nero’s thing going, and Nero was a shitload more emotional than Vergil, and Nora’s just as much so compared to Blake. Even if Blake is stronger, I’m thinking that there isn’t a decisive victory on her part.”
“But Blake has the Yamato.” Weiss pointed out. “AKA the fuck reality blade. The thing can cut concepts in two, split people into two different people, cut holes in space-time, cut dimensions apart from each other, and who the fuck knows what else.”
“Yup. Except that not only is Nero familiar enough with it to use it-” Yang was cut off by a sudden cut that she had to flare her Haki to keep from severing their part of the building. It did unfortunately cut the front of her shirt however. “As I was saying, but Nero, or Nora, also can see where Yamato cuts. Meaning she can just drop kick Blake before she finishes a slash. Simple.”
“WHOA SHIT-!”
CRUNCH.
Case in point, Blake getting dropkicked… straight into the brick wall next to the RWBY dorm window. “Guh… I don’t think either of us is ahead yet, but Nora keeps trying to punt me in the face… joke’s on her, I threw her off a cliff. Ow. My nose.”
Weiss stuck her head fully out the window to see Blake. “You’ve remembered having demonic powers far longer than Nora, Blake. She’s gotta be at least a little unbalanced.”
“It does speak to her being instinctively skilled. She’ll get stronger.” Ruby smiled, all teeth. “That’ll be fun.”
“Weiss, almost all of Nora’s demon skills were instinctively learned. Frankly, she might end up stronger than me one of these days,” Blake huffed, glaring off into the distance. “God I hope not, though, I’d like to be a main character a little longer… Ugh. Just gonna… get settled again, then remind Nora why my son had to resort to face tanking through my slashes after a certain point…”
Without another word, she vanished back into the distance, blazing away with her Devil Trigger while Nora’s own pink comet rose from the direction of the Emerald Forest to clash against Blake in midair.
It’d be like a clash of gods to anyone else, but honestly to the members of Team RWBY it was a pretty typical weekend. Just… with more buildings getting holes put through them by a demon tumbling ass over teakettle at mach ten.
“Fuck her up babe.” Yang cheered with a laugh, leaning back and not particularly caring if she might get hit with an indecent exposure charge. Yang wasn’t entirely sure if those existed on Remnant, but it didn’t really matter either way.
“I believe in you. Just think of how embarrassing it’ll be if you lose to your kid. You got this.” Weiss tried to reassure.
Blake, sadly, heard neither of them. Still, she did her best, and struck against Nora again and again and again-
And then the both of them fell out of the sky at the exact same time, tumbling ass over tea kettle unconscious after one final, explosive, clash in the sky, hitting the ground at the exact same time with an overwhelming thump.
A quick check of Blake’s scroll read that her Aura was entirely spent, and that Nora’s, since JNPR’s Aura logs were also on screen, had bottomed out at the exact same time.
A perfect stalemate.
“Did you win?” Yang asked, before immediately descending into almost hysterical giggling.
Life was… confusing, for Blake Belladonna.
Chapter 46: Vytal Season- The Call (Weiss 11)
Chapter Text
“-and that’s how Remnant was made!”
“Nora, we were talking about how you-” Blake sighed, palming her face. “Nevermind. Just- how the fuck did you manage to lose Red Queen? It’s a giant sword that’s almost as tall as I am!”
“Fuck you, that’s how,” Nora snorted, crossing her arms. “Don’t try to fuckin’ parent me now dad, we’re the same age!”
“I mean… it’s mom now, technically…” Blake mumbled, looking down at herself pointedly. “And I’m not trying to parent you, I’m trying to figure out how you got here when the last thing I remember was getting punted out of reality because some dipshit gorilla decided to throw a flaming motorcycle sword at my face while I was halfway through a portal.”
“I jumped in after you, duh,” Nora snorted. “Idiot.”
“Nora, you don’t get to call someone an idiot.” Yang flatly said, shaking her head. “Not least of which because you told a guy who literally saw his entire unit violently killed in front of him ‘cheer up, crew cut’. Like what the fuck is wrong with you?”
Weiss paled. “Wait actually? What the fuck Nora?!?”
“What’s wrong with that?” Qrow spoke up, seemingly appearing from nowhere, right behind Blake.
“Hey, he was fine!” Nora defended herself, crossing her arms and looking away. “Ugh. Don’t even- nevermind. I hate that I remember everything now. I was just fine being regular-ol’ Nora, but now I gotta remember being a straight guy! And not even the same kinda straight guy I thought I was before I snipped it down there!”
“Oh hey, you got bottom surgery too, neat,” Blake hummed, crossing her legs. “Trust me, it’s weird for me too. I don’t exactly want to be your dad, you know.”
“Fuck you dad.”
“Bitch,” Blake retorted in kind.
“Wow, and I thought my family had issues.” Weiss muttered while glancing between Blake and Nora. “Like damn. Is it too late for you two to just hug it out and let bygones be bygones? You’ve both, died? Reincarnated? Who the fuck knows what the word is here.”
“Oh, Nero, or Nora, probably got it out of her system ages ago. She just holds grudges for entire months. Like being called the dreaded DW words.” Yang grinned, and mildly resolved to ignore Uncle Qrow standing there like a weirdo. “I’m also gonna insult your intelligence again because like, did it never click that Dante was either your father, uncle, or grandfather? Guy had white hair just like you, acted just like you, and used giant swords just like you. With demonic power.”
“I mean. Would you want to acknowledge Dante as a relative?” Qrow pointed out, taking a sip from his… gallon of bleach.
“By that logic I would be related to Dante.” Weiss pointed out. “White hair, a little bit of demonic power… Fuck it. Even Dante is an improvement on the waste of oxygen and carbon that is Jacques.”
“I don’t wanna think about being related to Dante,” Blake immediately retorted.
“There’s gotta be more than just Dante and this asshole out there with white hair,” Nora grumbled, crossing her arms. “There’s gotta be a bunch of assholes with white hair and demon powers and giant swords.”
“Yeah. Like Sparda. Your Grandfather.” Yang grinned, and then quickly pointed at Nora before she could speak. “AND DON’T SAY SANCTUS NEITHER! HE STOLE SPARDA’S POWER! HE STILL COUNTED AS SPARDA!”
“...” Nora shut her mouth, glaring at Yang. “Yeah well, I don’t want this deadbeat as my dad, and Dante ain’t here either, so whatever. It’s not a big thing.”
“Hey, I wasn’t a deadbeat on purpose!” Blake huffed, indignant and grumbling a little. “I literally died! And also had no idea you even existed! Literally no one told me!”
Qrow suddenly smiled, looking almost sinister . “You’ve only had shitty parental figures, you say… You are being adopted. Do not resist.”
“Uncle Qrow, no.” Yang shook her head, and then looked back at Nora. “Also… how did it go? Emotional phone call with your girlfriend-wife, re-equipping your devil bringer, devil bringer shatters cause your arm grows back, suddenly transform into angelic demon form… hold a grudge for an entire month and don’t realize that the reason Dante didn’t want you along was cause committing patricide apparently fucks people up? What did you shout?”
“You shut the fuck up or I’ll punch you!” Nora growled, her arm glowing with demon power to the point that it almost spontaneously switched out for a leathery demon arm. “How did you even know about that anyway!?”
“And all that, just so this idiot didn’t have to pay taxes.” Qrow shook his head, gesturing at Blake. “Anyway, I see I missed… a lot . How long has it been since you left me with Salem, anyway?”
“It’s been a month, about. Maybe a little change. Have you been fucking Salem for an entire month?” Weiss asked without thinking. “You know what, I don’t want to know.”
“It’s been, one week since you looked at me~” Blake mumbled under her breath… and then got punched out of her seat by a giant glowing wing arm from Nora.
“SHUT-!”
“Ah, the return of awful memories of the Frankenstein of the Digimon movie.” Yang let out a sigh, and then grinned. “Well, anyway. Guess I’m your stepmother now, Nora. Do you prefer cash or credit?”
“Two immortals with basically infinite stamina.” Qrow shrugged. “And we did more than fuck. I thought I dealt with depression, but that woman… god damn.” He shivered.
“... This whole conversation sucks. And I want no part in even worse family revelations,” Nora growled, glaring at Yang. “And to think I wanted to suck your titties literally up to yesterday… Ugh. You’ve ruined that for me, Blake. I’m gonna fucking kill you one of these days for that. I’m leaving and I’m gonna go make out with Ren instead.”
Snickering, Yang shook her head. “Wait, hold on. I need to laugh more.” Her grin slowly dropped off of her face as she blinked. “Oh. Oh man… Dante’s probably dead or wishes he was right now. Like more depressed than after he killed you the first time, Blake.”
“Given that, he thinks his entire family is dead, should someone go check on him?” Weiss offered.” The only problem is he’d figure out you’re alive and then he’d come visit .” She shuddered.
“I don’t want Dante to visit,” Blake shuddered, while Nora just stomped away with Red Queen on her back. “He’d be insufferable about everything regarding my general existence now, and how my personality has chosen to manifest in a world where I don’t have to think about Vergil’s trauma. And I’d rather not break my promise about trying to stab Dante less, because every time that idiot gets impaled through the gut somehow he doubles or even triples in strength.”
Weiss grinned. “Can confirm, that definitely does shit to you.” Her grin faltered as she laid her hand over where she was stabbed. “Definitely painful though. Really painful.”
“Babe.” Yang quietly said, putting a hand on Blake’s leg. “I know that Dante can be an asshole. But so can Nora. And you know how Dante got when he thought you died the first time. Imagine how he’d be when both of you did. He could do something drastic. Like flirting with Lady. Could you imagine the sheer amount of failure?”
“...” Blake grimaced. “... Just because I’d rather not see him depressed doesn’t mean I want him to visit, Yang. I’ll just… he’ll be fine. It’s Dante. He always bounced back better than I did.”
“He only bounced back cause of Nero.” Yang softly pointed out.
Weiss hummed. “Maybe he can bounce back on his own, eventually. But do you really want him to have to? It’ll be annoying as hell, and someone is probably going to get stabbed. But, I think it would be worth it.”
“Unless you’d rather him end up like Donte.” Qrow smirked. “Take it from someone who’s already dealt with that kinda shit, Dante’ll be too happy having you guys back to actually be his insufferable self. For a while, at least… Hey, maybe he can be the third…” His smirk only widened.
“Pretty sure Dante’s into people with their lives put together.” Yang mercilessly pointed out even as she huffed out a grin.
“Qrow you insufferable hobo if you even so much as think about doing to Dante what you did to my parents I will figure out how to kill you myself!” Blake hissed, not even hesitating to draw Yamato and hold it to Qrow’s throat. “I promise you that, you drunk old bastard!”
“I don’t want to hear that from someone who is fucking my daughter-nieces.” Qrow raised a brow, uncaring of the blade at his throat. “Actually, speaking of, when are we killing Jacques?”
“Wait shit, with you and Nero dead, do you think he officially adopted Patty?” Yang asked curiously, tilting her head as she moved around a bit. “Like, he’d probably be like an aggressively depressed bird or something.”
“We already have one of those,” Weiss pointed at Qrow. “If we had two I think they'd either kill each other or team up to make our lives a living hell.”
“The latter. Definitely the latter,” Blake sighed, sheathing Yamato once more and grumbling about her intimidation attempts never working on anyone. “I hate that man. Truly I do. Maybe next time I’ll just stab him with an unpowered kitchen knife… no no, that’d somehow make him stronger too…”
“It’d give him more iron in his diet.” Yang bit her lip to keep from immediately cracking at that awful joke.
“I can stab him.” Qrow offered.
“Harbinger would just give him flashbacks to when he was eighteen.” Yang pointed out, and then shuffled back. “And again, pretty sure he wouldn’t be DTF cause you’re kind of a mess even when you’re healthy, Drunkle Qrow.”
“Neither Trish nor Lady had their lives together.” Qrow rolled his eyes.
“Lady owns most of Dante’s business, branding, and feasible income from his tax returns. She also has her own business, and is an actual model.” Yang held up one finger with a grin. “Meanwhile, Trish doesn’t actually have need of human luxuries, so the money that she makes goes exclusively to whatever she wants, and her purpose in life is to try and understand it. Meaning both of them have more understanding of who they are and where they are in the world then you do, and that means they have their lives more put together then Dante. Who mostly lives off of charity tax returns and pizza. When he’s not trying to parent Patty. But I figure that Lady and Trish mostly help with Patty.” She said, her second finger joining the first and then drooping as she thought about Patty. “I mean Patty’s ma is probably a mess, but that’s not really his business.”
“... I think I’m tired of thinking about Dante. I’m gonna go find a thunderstorm in the mountains and go brood on a cliff while dramatically standing in the rain,” Blake deadpanned, standing up and slicing a portal into the air.
“Wait, Blake!” Yang immediately shouted, leaning up in the bed to stare at her wife.
“Yeah?” Blake asked, raising an eyebrow. “I’m not talking about Dante anymore than we already have.”
“No, that’s fine. But if you do that you won’t be here, cuddling with me. Also smelling like wet cat.” Yang replied, and then kind of looked away at that last part.
“We don’t have to talk. We can all just lay on the bed in one big cuddle pile.” Weiss offered, gently taking Blake’s hand. “Without Qrow.” She glared at the aforementioned avian.
Qrow narrowed his eyes at Weiss for a moment. “Well, I guess I’m off to Atlas. Maybe I’ll catch Ironwood on the way. Well, drop, not catch, but you get the idea.”
“Make sure you kick his shins in.” Weiss called out before she enveloped Blake in a massive hug. As best she could with her shorter height anyway.
“Ugh… fine, I guess I’ll stick around… getting this coat dry cleaned sucks anyway,” Blake sighed, picking Weiss up and walking over to the bed. “Piss off Qrow, unless you wanna see the three of us get X-rated in the next five minutes.”
“I’d rather not. Just try not to get caught, Ozpin’s probably gonna be a pain in the ass to deal with now.” Qrow grimaced, not looking forward to when Ozpin learned of his time with Salem. “Also, just like. Fuckin call next time you meet a reincarnate. Jeez.” With a huff, he shifted into his bird form and flew through the window.
“Hooray.” Yang deadpanned, before shuffling out of her shirt. “Now. Get on my tits. This shit’s starting to get tight.” She ordered her two lovely idiots.
“Yes ma’am,” Weiss uttered once she got her breath back.
“Yaaaay, titties~!”
Chapter 47: Vytal Season: Candy Sweet Relations (Ruby 11)
Chapter by Argo_The_Rat, CyberQueen_Jolyne
Summary:
Nyotaimori!
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“So Pyrrha isn’t doing anything to you that you don’t want, right?” Ruby settled back on the desk in JNPR’s dorm room. Ren was out having inadvisable military experimentation and Nora had forcefully ensured she’d be there with him. Possibly also murdering the shit out of the doctor as soon as it was done. So it was just Pyrrha and Five. “Also, Pyrrha, enjoying being an Inkling? Because I can get rid of that you know. Without even taking the dick, if you’re concerned about that.”
“No, no!” Five chuckled as she scratched at her tentacles. Which was how you knew she wasn't born an Inkling. Their ‘hair’ was really just partially sealed and hardened ink which felt really weird to them. So actually pushing a hand into it wasn’t something you usually saw. “Pyrrha’s great! Everything I could have… mmm, ever wanted…”
“I think being the same species as my wife is a good thing.” Pyrrha leaned to the side to wrap an arm around Five. They were both under the covers of their… futon? No. It was… fucking. There was a specific word for that sort of all cotton… not bed? It wasn’t on a frame. Fucking. Damnit. Whatever! They were both naked under it anyway. Pyrrha probably had her dick just… inside of Five. Casually.
Which was actually an Inkling thing, come to think of it. Between couples only, sure, but still a thing. Not with guests around, but well… Ruby isn’t exactly usual . Besides, it’s nice they’re comfy enough together to do something like that. A good match.
“Plus… well…” Pyrrha looked down with a blush, snuggling further against Five, “I feel free like this? It’s… weird, but I like it.”
“Yeah, that’s Inklings. They’re… to put it simply I made them on a bender. Octolings happened when I was more sober. Rawer from… what happened.” Ruby sighed. The ascension was… well. It was. Anything human in her had been… destroyed, basically. Ripped to tatters which she had desperately, desperately clung to even as they flew away. That was what it meant to gain that level of insight. Seeing the world as she does is… it isn’t compatible with human senses and thoughts.
She became the dawn after darkness. The promise that things would be better, later. That the great things that lurked in the dark had been pushed away. Not gone, not yet, but hiding. Waiting in cracks and crevices. Those few spots where the light didn’t reach yet. The places where she, and her children, adopted or not, would go.
She’d never see noon. Never see the day fully come. But that was fine. It was for other people. That fairy tale like time. Where everything went right.
That was why she existed.
To make it happen.
“Anyway, you’re doing well. Looking to have some kids?” Ruby leaned forward with… well a very lewd smile. “If you want I can bless you. I’m not very good at it, so it may take a few tries, and I do need to… stay very close while it’s happening.”
“No.” Everyone turned to Five as she blinked. “Uh… not right now? I sorta want them later. As many as my mom, maybe? But. Not right now. Right now we have to fight the Grimm, right? I can’t move to Inkopolis before we’re done here. Turf War isn’t over.”
Ruby settled back with a soft smile. “That’s my girl.” Perfect. Her kid wasn’t the fastest or smartest or strongest. But. She was perfect anyway. “Still, if you ever want my help, for anything , just ask. You’re mine, Five, and if Pyrrha wants to call you wife then she’s mine too. Through marriage.”
“Isn’t that… really awkward?” Pyrrha tilted her head. “Just… really awkward.”
“Only if you make it.” Ruby shrugged. “Love is as love does. I’m not about to bitch about where anyone finds it. Plenty in Inkopolis won’t be with me. They don’t see me like that, and that's fine. Others want to. There’s one jackass I heard about that said everyone wants to fuck their moms. He was a bit of a hack, and wrong a lot, but the idea isn’t super out there. Or something. I dunno. Psychology is weird and I don’t get it.”
“I’m… just going to ignore all of that.” Pyrrha sighed. “I already had to stop Ozpin from chugging a whole bottle of premium Vacuan moonshine. I still don’t know why , he was the one who asked to meet me and everything! Just kept crying about how things didn’t make sense anymore and stuff.”
“Yeah. Totally a mystery. Absolutely.” If he was getting into that moonshine maybe they should pull back a little. That stuffs like… a hundred-twenty proof or something. Killing him was not the idea. Even if it wouldn’t take. Probably. Soul stuff was weird and that was God Soul Stuff and so even weirder. “Anyway, keep it in mind. I wanna see how good you are with that dick !”
She shot the both finger guns and held the post as mist pulled her out of the room. Directly into RWBY’s dorm. Still in the pose, but now pointed toward the rest of her team. “Heyyy!”
“Hewwooooo~” Blake called out, waving at Ruby and apparently in the middle of making fried chicken for once. A risky proposition for most when combined with naked apron, but Blake was also a demon and pretty much immune to fire so that was okay. “Weiss is still in the library, but I’m making chicken if you wanna stick around.”
“Sure, chicken’s nice.” It was her favorite meat. Never figured out why , but that's how it was. “Whatcha gonna do for sides?”
“Mmm… well, I don’t really like coleslaw and I basically grew up in an Asian household twice, so I was thinking… cucumbers in soy sauce for something simple and tasty,” Blake hummed, pulling out a kitchen knife in a leather sheath and holding it just like Yamato before the cucumbers laying off to the side suddenly split into perfectly even slices. “Ooh, I can do some veggie tempura too, plus shrimp tempura… get an Asian style dipping sauce for the chicken since I’m doing karaage style… a bed of sliced up cabbages, cajun fries, maybe? Oh, I found a really nice cheese shop down in Vale the other day, how do we feel about caprese salad? Do a whole mix of cuisine, get all JoJo Part 4 up in this bitch. I did also get stuff for mashed potatoes and potato salad too. Ooh, and tuna salad…”
Saying this, Blake was also moving around the kitchenette the entire time, somehow managing to balance doing all of said dishes at once in a display of what could have been acrobatic skill and precision knife work, but was somewhat spoiled by the fact that she was also balancing assorted bowls on her head and raised leg when she ran out of counter space, and even resorted to using her usual schoolwork desk to hold spare items. And the fact that she was naked, wearing only an apron and fuzzy kitty slippers, and was stirring a bowl of something or another with her tail.
“I’d prefer just to eat pussy, but most of that sounds good. Vegetables and I never really got along. Especially lettuce. I hate lettuce.” Ruby scrunched her nose at the reminder. That had not been a good day. Place somehow valued honesty and placed importance on not insulting anything of the host. She was… not the sort of person who could thread that needle. Bad time. “Just… ugh. No idea why. Tried it a few times. Just… no. Most of the rest works fine, but no lettuce.”
“Lettuce is basically the antichrist of vegetables, which is why I use cabbage instead. Thinly sliced it’s pretty good, and Asian coleslaw works too, but… I don’t like coleslaw,” Blake shrugged, continuing to prepare food in a manner that was just… kinda normal by now. Sure, it was a visual spectacle, but at this point she’d been doing it for the entire time that Team RWBY had known each other so it really wasn’t a surprise anymore. “That said, if you’re really committed to the idea of eating me out as a side for fried chicken, I can do a modified nyotaimori course… gonna need a shower first, though… and a quick shave just to make absolutely sure…”
“I… would very much like that.” And it wasn’t even in a creepy way like those… vore enthusiast candymen. That… that was just weird . Probably the base for Salmonids. Note to self- do not reminisce while creating. Shit gets weird. “Mmm… I’m getting hungry just thinking about it.” Now if only Weiss were around. Yang may have promised, but Blake should be with her wife, first. Weiss though…
“Right, just gimme a second then,” Blake grinned, splitting off a few Doppelgangers to finish the meal course… and start prepping sushi on the side because if she was going to do nyotaimori, she was damn well gonna do a proper nyotaimori… while she vanished in a slash of distorted time.
“She’ll just be a few,” Doppelganger 1 hummed, vaguely waving a ladle. “Oh, do you want miso soup? We’ve got miso.”
“Oi, we’ve already got enough dishes here to make a feast, and we’re already making enough to feed Yang when she gets back from work,” Doppelganger 2 huffed, poking her twin. “Don’t give us more work that we can’t just speed through because we don’t have the Yamato to do time hax!”
“It’s miso soup, we can just heat it up!”
“Fine, but if you use instant miso I’m stabbing you myself.”
“Then what did we buy all that instant miso for!?”
“Us, dammit! We eat the shitty instant food and give the good stuff to everyone else!”
“Who gave Blake taste buds that work best with shitty instant ramen anyway?”
“I don’t know, but now all of us are craving fast food and it’s your goddamn fault.”
“Uuuuuuggghhh-”
This continued for the next five minutes, up until all of the Doppelgangers dispelled one by one and Blake strolled out of the bathroom completely naked, smelling vaguely of floral scents and food-safe disinfectant, gleaming and shiny like she’d just covered herself in a sheen of baby oil. Or olive oil, as it were. From there, it was a show of yet more Doppelgangers splitting off and getting Blake ready, which involved her laying back on the table, legs locked behind her head, decorative ropes looped over her body at key points in a vague imitation of both shibari and shinto ritual, and then getting assorted foods placed across her body, each one supported by a thin slice of seaweed leaf for presentation and sanitary purposes. Also, decorative edible flowers were placed behind her ears and in a few places for visual effect. When it was all done, Blake grinned and her clones all vanished at once. “Itadakimasu~”
Ruby immediately went to work. Sampling each dish separately and making absolutely sure nothing was left on the ‘plate’ by licking it. She moved further and further down with each dish. Closer and closer until eventually-
“Hmm…” Her tongue, much longer that it had any right to be, curled around the decorative flower. Gently clenched around it to keep it steady as she lowered herself. Her mouth spilled hot breath over it, the petals moving in the false wind, as her mouth neatly slipped all the way over it. Gently she closed it, her teeth sliding over the skin of Blake’s pussy. “Delicious.”
Her words were mumbled without getting up. Lips moved just over those precious… other lips.
Fuck.
“Fuck it.” Enough flowery poetry bullshit. Her tongue slipped right inside, with barely any resistance. Such that it seems like she hadn’t disturbed the folds. Words beyond reason spilled from her lips, the meaning something nothing on this level of existence could really understand. Which made it perfect for weird, excessive lip movement. Each of which pressed against the pussy in front of her. As her tongue swirled and moved, twisted in directions that were beyond human understanding.
Truly, a multi-dimensional bout of cunnilingus.
“H-hnnn~! N-yaaaa~!” Blake squealed, doing her best to keep absolutely still the entire time but, honestly, it was kind of a lost cause. It felt too good, too intense, and all she could really do was bear with it until Ruby decided she was satisfied. Until then, though, she just laid back, tried not to spill what was left on her body, and vocalized her pleasure with a high, shaking voice.
“There we go. Keep still for me.” Ruby gently patted Blake on the head. Her fingers curled through hair to slide up the ears and then back down again. Her head slid away, tongue still twisting, as she moved to gather up some of the food she’d missed. The tongue trailed down skin all the way to the boobs, where it curled. Snugly wrapped around first one, slightly pushing up the flower that was perched right atop the nipple, and then sat there, squeezing irregularly, as she moved to the other. Where she did the same thing. “You’re doing very well.”
“M-mnnnhhh~” Blake responded eloquently, shivering in place as her ears and tail twitched wildly from Ruby’s ministrations. “Hhhh~ Your tongue is so long…~”
“Mm hmm.” Gently, Ruby slid a finger down the trail of… call it saliva. She wasn’t using any of its other functions right now anyway. Down the trail of the still warm fluid. Gently down right to the pussy. Her finger circled it, once, twice- “Cum for me, okay? Please?”- and gently worked the clit as her tongue plunged . It tightened hard around the breasts as it moved, the flowers shaking, and pushed further and further in. The undulating mass filling up the pussy, touching each and every bit of it, even as it worked to make the experience even better . It twisted in and out of conventional space, sometimes not touching a spot at all as every spot around it was assaulted, and sometimes doubling or tripling up onto one spot.
Blake all but shattered at once, screaming Ruby’s name to the heavens as her back arched and she clenched all over, driven wild by Ruby’s tongue filling her up and writhing until all she could really do was hang onto the table for dear life- even as the ropes holding her down snapped and flung away from the force of her orgasm.
“R-RubyyyyyyyYYYYYYY~!”
Notes:
Don't do nyotaimori without an expert
Chapter 48: Vytal Season - Oh yeah, the Beacon Dance
Chapter by Argo_The_Rat, CyberQueen_Jolyne, desolatedsabers, InternecionWitch
Chapter Text
“Huh, the Beacon Dance is coming up soon,” Blake hummed, pulling a flyer off the poster board in the middle of the hallway. “Aa… I’m gonna need something nice to wear. Something… cute? Or something pretty… Yang, do you wanna do a kimono? Oh! I could do a qipao, with the sexy thigh slit that goes all the way up to my hip and might as well be painted on~”
“You just want an early view of our wedding.” Yang gently teased with a grin, throwing an arm around Blake’s shoulders. “Y’know you can just ask, right?”
“Oh right. That exists.” Weiss realized. “I forgot about it entirely if I’m being honest. And I have no clue how to go dress shopping. I hate to say it but I always just had them given to me.”
“I know I can just ask but you’d look amazing in a kimono~” Blake purred, nuzzling up against Yang happily. “Or a qipao. A qipao would be hot. Also… Weiss, it’s really not that different from any other kind of shopping? I mean, you can go to a tailor for stuff but honestly unless you’re going really high end with a dress you can just… go to a department store and buy a prom dress in your size… or you can ask me to make one! I’m… not great at making clothes but I’ve got a lot of clones and I can slice time in half so… I’ve got more than enough time to learn before the dance!”
Weiss stared at Blake with concern. “Are you sure that's, healthy? Between that and the homework clones it doesn’t seem very healthy. You don’t have to do all that to make me a dress if you don’t want to… I mean, if you promise not to drive yourself into an early grave I’d be thrilled if you did make one. I like you alive and breathing and not a stress driven mess with more tangles than hair.”
“To be fair, the homework clones don’t really do all that much,” Blake huffed, crossing her arms. “And besides, I’ve been meaning to learn how to make my own clothes for like, two lifetimes now, only this time I’m better at sewing because I already had to repair my own outfits in the Fang before I killed Adam. It’s not that bad. Just… a little bit more work than I already do? It’s not dangerous, and I’m literally the strongest demon on the planet right now-”
“THE FUCK YOU ARE!” Nora screamed from further down the hall. “SAY IT AGAIN BITCH, I’LL FIGHT YOU!”
“Oh my god, why is she like this? She’s even more aggro than she was before…” Blake side, pinching the bridge of her nose.
“She gets it from you.” Yang said immediately and mercilessly. Before giving a sickeningly sweet set of kisses to Blake’s cheek. “It’s one of the funniest parts of you~. Anyway, I’d say sure to a qipao but… nah. Maybe a purple kimono. Or a dusky, burnt orange-y one. With my hair done up. Hmm… Not a loose one, but loosish. Y’know?”
“Mmm… you’d look wonderful in a nice… indigo, I think. Somewhere between blue and purple,” Blake hummed, idly poking Yang’s boob. “The kimono would do a lot for your boobs, too. Good support and if you loosen your top a bit, they’d show off really well. Kinda wish a kimono did that much for my boobs too…”
“Mood.” Weiss parroted without thinking. “At least you have boobs. But yeah, indigo would look good on Yang. Maybe a bit of gold trim too? It would be a really good contrast.”
“I think I’d just prefer the base coat. If I had gold trim anything it’d need to be black.” Yang decreed, hand on her hip after an aborted attempt to fold her arms simply pressed Blake against her boob. “Hmm. Red hair tie ribbon? Or a different color?”
“Red suits you,” Blake nodded, idly looking up and peeking at Yang’s hair. “A lot of colors suit you, actually… hmm… if you go in purple, I could go with gold? Fan out from my usual black and white, get a sunset and floral pattern going… maybe a dash of dark red here and there… we’ll see how it goes.”
“I wear suits, usually. Mostly battle suits. I’ll talk to my people.” Ruby hummed, leaned to the side, and gently settled a hand on Weiss’ boob. “You know I can arrange to get these bigger, right? Not a problem at all. They’ll even dispense Gatorade!”
Weiss stared at Ruby with her jaw dropped. “Why Gatorade? Out of all the possible substances, why Gatorade in particular? Are you sponsored? Weiss’s tits brought to you by Gatorade?”
“Nobody sponsors me. They don’t have the money.” Ruby chuckled. “I did the math. It's a lot of money. That one just came to me. I think the usual place I go to for boob jobs is sponsored, so it’s one of the options their custom boobs can dispense. Alongside milk, chocolate milk, soda, and bullets.”
“Bullets?” Weiss repeated. She shook her head. “I’d rather not. I complain about it but honestly I don’t care enough about my boob size to want them bigger. I’m just glad I have them, you know? Also, doesn’t milk come with normal tits anyway? Why do they have an option to make it dispense even more milk?”
“Uh, actual milk production without a certain someone who I love very much causing me to actually produce it is pretty low and takes a shitload of effort.” Yang said, side-eying Blake for a moment before turning back for her lecture. “Like if I wanted to do this as something special for Ruby or Blake without help it’d have taken me like plus fourteen hours a day for a solid two months to actually begin the process, cause I’d have to be stimulating my girls for it for all that time. Then to maintain it I’d still need to be doing that, just not as much. Like eight hours.”
She blinked, and then frowned. “Speaking of, I’m gonna ruin any kimono I wear… fuck.”
“With milk or just with your size, because we can just get a custom kimono tailored for you,” Blake pointed out, patting Yang’s arm. “Speaking of milk, do you want me to uh… try again…? At some point in the future? I know it took like a week to stop but… it was pretty hot.”
Yang hummed quietly, and then leaned in against Blake. “I’d like that, but that’d also guarantee I wouldn’t be able to go to the dance. And I don’t care much about it, but I figure you’d want me there and I can’t be there with a milk soaked kimono.”
“It’s not like it’s hard with our abilities. You all just are more… limited in how fast things can go.” Ruby hummed. “I should mention I can lactate anything I want at will now, right? Anything . Also change any of my fluids the same way. Not much trouble. Well. Wait. Not all of my fluids. The cum stays. It’s just… eugh to change it.”
Weiss breathed a sigh of relief. “Oh good. If you came Gatorade into me I would have left.”
“Quench your thirst, though.” Yang immediately pointed out, snorting and trying not to smile at just how stupid that was to say out loud. “The quenchiest.”
“I wouldn’t do that. I cum in you to get you pregnant. Gatorade does not get you pregnant.” Ruby paused. “Right?”
“Absolutely not.” Yang quickly said, shaking her head. “And even if it could, I don’t want to know if it can. So we’re not doing that.”
“Gatorade does not get anyone pregnant.” Weiss affirmed. “And if it ever did I would hunt down the resulting creature and kill it because it would be an affront to sanity and all that is moral.”
“A worthy hunt.” Ruby shrugged and leaned back onto the wall. “Anyway, the dance. I think Team CFVY mentioned they wouldn’t be around? They asked if we would be willing to do it. Also, Velvet knows a ritual to summon me somehow. No idea how, but she can.”
“... I spaced out thinking about Yang soaking through her kimono with milk for thirty seconds and now we’re talking about gatorade cum…?” Blake mumbled, furrowing her brow a little. “Also, huh. I almost woulda thought Team CFVY wouldn’t ask us considering how much shit we break around here on a daily basis, Nora.”
“FUCK YOU!” Nora responded, peeking around the corner from further down the hall. “Don’t make me come over there, bitch!”
“Coco likes to make the joke about her sunglasses, where ‘no one can see where I’m looking when I wear them’! Before she immediately puts them on and stares straight at my chest. It’s funny.” Yang grinned, shaking her head.
“Coco might have been trying to turn the dance into a giant orgy by asking us if I’m being honest.” Weiss shrugged. “Which, we’re not right? A normal, as normal as we can be, dance would be fun. We keep upping the action and I think Ozpin’s liver is crying for mercy.”
“We’re being nice. Ozpin’s liver needs a break.” Yang gently said, and then pointedly looked at Ruby. “Right, Rubes?”
“Ozpin needs another liver.” Ruby pushed off the wall and stood… as tall as she could. Which… wasn’t much. “So we’re taking care of the dance! I checked the rules. It has to be on Beacon grounds, follow most Beacon rules, and we have a strict budget allotment from the school. If we can source things on our own, or buy things with our money, it’s fine.”
“Oh, easy.” Yang blinked. “I can fish out cash for that. Uh, by the way, what do we do about… y’know.” She leaned in close and lowered her voice. “The lady with those jank-ass legs.”
“I’ll deal with her. She’s in my house anyway.” Ruby chuckled.
“... Cinder is in your house…?” Blake asked, tilting her head slightly. “I thought she was still bumbling around trying to find minions that wouldn’t immediately get folded by any one of us. Last Weiss and I saw her, she was basically trying and failing at doing a cult rally with oatmeal raisin cookies.”
“She did fucking what.”
“Oh no.” Weiss uttered. “Welp, I guess Cinder is about to be reduced to cinders.” Weiss linked her hands together. “She’ll be missed by no one but Emerald. May she rot in superhell five-ever.”
“She is in the greater Vale area. She is in my house .” Ruby was suddenly not there. No wind-up. No mist. No speed blur or anything. Just. Gone. “And she brings that shit !”
“Uh oh.” Yang blinked, and then pulled up her scroll and dialed a specific number. “Neo? Batten down the hatches, keep everyone off the street, and tell Roman to hide. Someone’s selling oatmeal raisin cookies in Vale.”
Neo didn’t reply, but Yang could feel the sudden haste her adorable mute subordinate had.
“Welp, Cinder is fucked. The only one that can help her now is a God or something and Ruby won’t let Cinder ever meet one of them again.” Weiss murmured.
“Damn, and I never got to eat her pussy out and see if fifteen consecutive mind shattering orgasms would make her a better person,” Blake sighed, making a show of conjuring a hat just to hold it to her chest solemnly. “She’ll uh… eh. If Ruby doesn’t kill her we’ll see what happens. If she is dead for realzies, I’ll just try and get Yang pregnant again.”
“I appreciate the thoughtfulness.” Yang grinned as she straightened up and took the flyer, before picking up Blake and walking, expecting Weiss to follow along. “Still, I can handle most of the preparations at least. But it says no booze, which is disappointing. No booze, no fireworks, nothing that makes an actual festival… ugh. And Ruby’s gonna be busy all night once she’s done with Cinder, cuddling up with Neo. Lucky I have you, at least.” She looked at Blake with a smile.
“Aww~ thanks,” Blake purred, then blinked and flicked her tail with a devious smile. “Y’know… the dance says that there’s no booze, no fireworks, and nothing that makes it a festival… but… hey, y’know what the rules don’t say, Yang~?”
“Hmm?” Yang raised an eyebrow.
“They don’t say that we can’t make our own festival outside the dance hall with our own food and vendors and booze~” Blake suggested, making a full, smug cat smile at the thought. “It’ll be just like a Kuo Kuana street festival, but probably with way more food! Oh, we could probably ask some of Ruby’s Inkling friends to come over and help with preparations too, make it easier to handle.”
“Sounds good, but I feel like we’re gonna cause something to give Ozpin a stress ulcer.” Despite her tone, Yang’s grin was wide, very excited at the idea. “And then when we’re done, we could find a nice, quiet place, and I could treat you like a capri-sun. Or more.”
Blake blushed, immediately crumpling like a wet tissue. “Y-yes please…”
Chapter 49: Vytal Season: Wine Tinged Rage (Ruby 12)
Chapter by Argo_The_Rat
Summary:
Ruby happens
Notes:
Ruby is a horrific eldritch abomination that considers things like 'bodily autonomy' and 'appropriate punishments' to be irrelevant.
There is some serious squick here. Bones ripping out of flesh and all that. The usual when Eldritch shit starts screwing with bodies. So heres the warning.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Cinder Fall was a know nothing little girl who clawed at the walls in an attempt to prove she had something. Anything. Her weapon is Midnight, pieces of glass she manipulates with her Semblance to ensure it's always available. Typically in jewelry, but often she'd have them hanging inside of her clothing somewhere. Never without a weapon of some sort.
Her two companions are Emerald Sustrai and Mercury Black. Neither of them are important, but they're still there. Mercury was lounging on top of a crate while Emerald stuck close to Cinder. If she had more balls she'd close the distance between them. If she had the intelligence she'd know Cinder would never give her anything.
Cinder herself was sitting on a shitty chair in a mostly empty warehouse. She'd been working herself hard in an attempt to curry favor. Moving everything she could around in a flailing attempt to ensure her plan could still go through. To her credit she managed to actually get a few things. Not much, but it was a troubling number of weapons and Dust.
Well, troubling to Ozpin. If he ever learned about it. It wasn't worth a glance to Ruby. Nothing any of them could do was. Which was why this was so… annoying. She could just kill them all, but apparently that was ‘too far’ and ‘what the fuck, Ruby’. According to Yang, anyway, and she was better at the whole… society thing.
That was the reason Inkopolis tended toward being so free. Ruby didn't have the head to make it functional, so she settled for fun. Bread and circuses, as someone once called it. Which was helped by the fact that Inklings were pretty straightforward. None of the weird dancing around sex and shit other places did.
Regardless. Cinder Fall, Emerald Sustrai, and Mercury Black. They fucked up. Simple. They needed to be punished for it. Also simple. Ruby couldn't just kill them. Less simple.
Blake, at least, wanted to fuck Cinder. She probably also wouldn't be happy getting a mind broken sex doll. Either living or turned into a mash of silicone, latex, and whatever else Cinder transmuted into. Those spells slash potions slash reality warps tended to be a little off sometimes.
“I guess I should just talk with her first.” Hunting gave more information now then it had previously, but it wasn't everything. General health, weapons, and bit more detail, sure, but anything more required, obviously, more. Touching the essence. As a normal Hunter she had to kill to do that, but now it just took interacting with them. Useful. “Hello, Cinder Fall. You've been a bad girl haven't you?”
To their credit, each of them instantly readied their weapons. Though Cinder, to even more credit, didn't look like she had her glass hot and ready. The only problem was that smugness was probably because she thought the was safe. Minus five.
“Oh, I've heard about you.” Cinder smiled at Ruby and leaned back in her chair. She practiced it in the mirror. Again and again and again. Because it needed to be perfect. Inviting. Make people want to come back. “The cookie monster of Vale. How you've got everyone running scared.”
“Yes.” It was a stupid fucking name and Yang had laughed for hours the first time she heard. “Where did you get them?”
“Around.” Cinder leaned forward this time, another smile on her face. This one was natural. Not something she'd been forced to have, but something she came into. Hm. There was… hm. “I figure that if I can get rid of you then I'll be much closer to getting what I want. And here you are. Right where I want.”
Emerald had already placed an illusion. Cinder had attempted to use the slight push back on her chair to mask getting up. Letting the illusion stay in her place. The other two were also hidden, tense in sight but actually prepared behind and to the side. Too bad none of them were good at it.
They'd heard the plan. Knew it. Didn't practice it. Mercury's boots thumped on the ground, a sound the illusion couldn't stop. Cinder didn't know the difference between a chair thumping forward with a body and dropping without one. Emerald herself was the best at it. Her last mistake had made Cinder unhappy, a careful tugging at the strings Cinder knew were there, and Emerald made sure it'd never happen again.
“Broken little things aren't going to stop me. No matter how well you think you've pieced yourself back together ” Ruby hummed. That… could work. It'd get the point across to everyone without any murder. Or other things the rest of the team would find bad. Like turning Cinder into a bimbo sex doll. “But don't worry. I can give you another shot.”
Ruby's fingers closed around Cinder's right arm.
“GHAK!” And the arm came right off in a spray of blood. Aura, untouched by Ruby, immediately went to work. The fountaining blood choking back to a trickle in short order.
“Strong Aura.” The Blades of Mercy flashed.
“Wha-!” Mercury flopped to the ground, red painting the new ragged edges of his pants. His mechanical legs, plus the slice of leg they connected to, thunked onto the ground next to him.
“Never had a chance.” Ruby turned to look directly at Emerald. The girl froze, shaking, her blades up to cut but definitely not close enough to hit. To the side the illusion of her rushed toward Ruby. The reaper just pointed at the ground. “Sit.”
Emerald sat, whimpering.
“Let's start with you.” Ruby tilted her head as Cinder glared at her. Fire rose from- “No. That doesn't belong to you.”
“Ughh-!” Cinder shuddered , writhed as her Aura flashed and sparked. Breath panted in and out as her feet scrabbled at the floor and her remaining hand ripped at the concrete she was laying one. Five streaks of muddy red led to her fingers before she stopped and slumped. “Guhh!”
“I wonder if she'll recover. That sort of damage is always tricky.” Ruby shrugged and let the bit of soul go. It'd get back to Amber on its own time without any issue. Possibly before she was done here. “Now let's see…”
Ruby placed one finger on Cinder’s back, just above the heart. Then pushed it in. The flesh warped and rippled around the digit, then the hand. Cinder’s body locked up, as tense as it could get, as fingers closed around her heart. Such a cold, brittle, broken thing. Stomped flat by cruelty and uncaring and built back up in a faberge ego. Ostentatious and useless.
“Hm.” When to do it. Not too far back, but not too close either. Perhaps… a little before… ah. Yes. That would work. “I'll even throw in a little help. The real kind, not what you were promised.”
Then she clenched her fist. The heart was slippery, its beats attempted to throw her off. But it succumbed in the end. Cinder's body succumbed with it.
CRACK! “AAAAAUUGGGGGHHH!”
Her thigh bone tore out from beneath flesh. Twisted and cracked before it ripped back into the flesh that had healed under it.
CLI-SNAP! “AHH HAAAHHH HUHH NNNGH!”
Bone burst out of a ruined shoulder. Bits of muscle roped back from it to connect into her flesh. More muscles dropped down, blood dripping as it weaved bone and veins under and around and flesh over.
CRUNCH! “Ohhh…”
Cinder's bones got smaller. Different . Organs squelched and shifted, bones cracked and rubbed together, as age disappeared. Malnourishment leeched out in thick sludge, the black gunk gathering around her body.
SQUELCH! “Haah… haaah…”
Cinder shuddered once as Ruby pulled her hand out. Then slumped to the floor. She looked… silly. Her body both too small and too large for her dress. A hand grabbed her neck and pulled her out of it, Ruby eyeing her new… something with a critical air.
It seemed Cinder Fall was done dirty by the family that held her as a slave. Even without any boosts she would have been a beauty. The red of her lips was pronounced and healthy, her skin almost glowed, and her hair was a wavy mess of healthy black strands. Her body, too, was nice. Absent the scars and signs of early malnutrition and abuse. It would have, had she not been when she was, grown up rather well, curves in the right places and enough fat to hide her bones.
Of course, it wasn't just that now. Ruby never hid how she was. It was who she was, a part of her existence, and hiding it would have been silly. Stupid too. So Cinder Fall did not look great but modest, as she would have. She looked like a bombshell. A bimbo. Practically radiated lusty heat.
It wasn't much, not really. Her mind was her own. Except the recipe for those cookies. Those were wiped. She'd be confused, sure, as those years she'd lived after the point Ruby returned her to would be fuzzy, but still herself. Just younger, before having met Salem or Emerald or Mercury. Before she'd had a weapon to call her own, even. She'd adapt to her new, stronger, urges. Her new body.
Or she'd die. Or be lost in them. Another bimbo jumping from bed to bed. It'd probably be a kinder fate than she had coming anyway. Regardless, Ruby would provide her a spot to get her bearings. After would be up to Cinder.
“Next.” Cinder dropped to the floor, a flare of Aura, ruby red, showing she wasn't hurt by it. “You.”
Mercury attempted to scramble away. He did not make it. Ruby's hand plunged in and grabbed his heart without any problems.
“What to do with you?” He had the same issues as Cinder, to an extent. Just giving him another shot wouldn't work, though. Plus… well. Ruby wanted kids a bit too much to let anyone in her grip, touched by her power, be or remain male . At least, not until she wanted to get pregnant herself.
Which… well. Ugh. It just… ugh. The thought was wholly unpleasant. Bad. Not going to happen. Made something in her chest clench and twist.
Just.
No.
“I suppose this will do.” Ruby pulled .
SQUELCH! “Ahhh…”
Mercury shook as he looked at his heart. Ruby's hand made it seem small, despite the actual size of her hand. She raised it a bit, tilted it this way and that.
“I suppose that's the real problem then.” She took a breath and blew over it. Mercury shuddered and warped. Body twisted and cracked as legs reformed. Cries gradually got higher and higher.
Ruby kicked Mercury over. Stood over her prone form. She was short. Much shorter than she had been. Stocky and rough. A tomboy bimbo if there ever was one. Probably only some inches off being a shortstack. Which wasn't intended, honestly, but regrowing legs tended to do funny things to height.
“Ahhh!” Mercury's chest jerked upward and Ruby slammed the heart back into it. The scars on it soothed and forgettable. Not gone, she'd always remember Marcus and what he did, but easy to ignore. Perhaps a bit of restored ability to trust, to be vulnerable, to acknowledge her own feelings, would help her.
If not, then she would end up like Cinder could. Another bimbo running around. Though likely as a Huntress, rather than just a bimbo. Mercury was a fighter, a killer, through and through. Marcus had ensured it, and that sort of mark… Ruby wasn't capable of removing it.
It wasn't in her nature.
“Now.” Ruby tilted her head. Emerald was still sat on the floor. She whimpered a little as her knees dug into the concrete. As her feet got all tingly from sitting on her ankles. “What about you? I don't need to do anything.”
“Cinder…” Emerald shuddered as she looked at her former leader.
“She won't be leading anything. She won't remember you much at all, really.” Ruby hummed as she rested a hand on Emerald's shoulder. “You could stay with her, I suppose. If you really wanted to. Or you could walk out of here without any problems. Or you could throw yourself at me in hopes I find you interesting enough to become a child of mine. Or… plenty of other things, really. I think this is the worst thing I could do to you. So choose. You have to say it.”
“I…” Emerald shuddered under Ruby's hand, the iron grip not something she could escape. Her eyes darted around. Looked for anything. “I don't-”
“That's the problem. That's why this is a punishment.” Ruby pushed, her hand sliding just a bit under the skin. “So choose.”
“Ahh ha ha haaah…” Emerald shuddered. Tears ran down her face as she looked and looked.
But nobody came.
“Cinder…”
“Well. If that's your choice then…” Ruby's hand dove deeper. Grasped the heart and ripped it out. Then, as Emerald gasped and shuddered in the sudden cold, she stepped over to Cinder and ripped her heart out too. “I suppose you'll be together forever. This isn't fair, but Cinder brought it on herself so, eh. Fuck it.”
Emerald's heart sank in Cinder's chest with a meaty gulping noise. Cinder's heart disappeared into Emerald's chest to the same.
“Ahhh…” Emerald's hand scrabbled at her breast. Faint bits of smoke emanated from it as her body pulsed and shifted. She had Cinder's heart now, one Ruby had already touched. Altered.
Black sludge leaked from her pores and her bones creaked. Fat built up and her body warped, shifted into a new look. New streaks appeared in her hair, mirroring the ones now in Cinder's. She blinked once and opened two differently colored eyes.
RIIIP!
Emerald jerked forward as her top ripped open. Then fell to the floor as she shifted, and still shifting, weight pulled her downward. She remained there, shivering and crying. Right until the changes stopped.
“Right. Let's get you all to a spot to rest for a bit.” Ruby pulled out her scroll. “How do I text with this thing again? Whatever. I'll just get Neo to do it. I need some cuddle time after,” she shivered, “Oatmeal Raisin… ugh. Disgusting.”
Notes:
They aren't dead, and they might even be intelligent enough to wish they were. But probably not. Cinder certainly isn't about to be trying any grand plans anytime soon. If ever.
Chapter 50: Vytal Season- Dance Macabre (Weiss 12)
Chapter Text
“Holy shit. What the fuck.” Blake asked the moment she saw what Ruby had done to Cinder, Emerald, and Mercury. She turned back and forth, looking between the three former villains and Ruby herself. “What did you do to them? What? The fuck? I thought you were gonna like, cripple them for life or, I dunno, rip out their kneecaps, not… whatever this is!”
Weiss stared at the splotches of blood and tiny shards of bone that surrounded Cinder's limp body. “Holy fuck. And I thought I was brutal. I’m not going to judge you because that accursed cookie flavor, if it can even be called a flavor, is reason enough but still, damn.”
“Ruby.” Yang stated idly, staring at Mercury. “What’d I say about touching family members that weren’t used to you?”
“No but seriously though like…” Blake trailed off, scratching her head. “... Did you have to like… y’know… do all of that…? Whatever this is…? They’re still like… mostly themselves, right?”
“Yang will tell you- face means quite a lot. I don’t really care, but some things are worth keeping it. This is one.” Ruby hummed and shifted. “They needed to be made an example of for their insolence, and I didn’t want to just kill them. Not when you wanted to deal with them in your own ways. So I considered what you would want, and it was hard, but I came up with this. We leave this place to be found and the story will spread. Cinder, Mercury, and Emerald never again show up in Vale, and we get to deal with their problems through sex and therapy. Or something.” She sighed. “There are still problems there. Cinder was regressed to a few months before she met Salem, she’ll remember after, but like a hazy dream. Mercury was forced through abuse to consider any form of outward emotional display toxic, and inward emotions dangerous. So I blew that away. Emerald’s just a simp.”
“... Ruby…” Blake murmured softly, looking away. “... I guess you couldn’t have known but… I think I really need to say it now. I… really hate it when someone plays with another person’s mind, body, and soul like it’s a puppet to be used and discarded on a whim. Loss of identity, loss of memory, loss of bodily autonomy, just being in a body that isn’t yours… it’s too many traumas all at once.”
Rubbing her eyes, Yang stood up and pulled Ruby against herself in what looked like a hug… if not for how hard Yang’s arms were flexing. And sparking with electric Haki. “She gets like this sometimes. Channels too much of Flora, Oedon… all those useless ones. Forgets being us and how much messing with the brain and soul changes someone because it’s just too easy. Whole reason she got the title of Cookie Monster of Vale was because she declared war on a few cookie manufacturers. Turned one of them into a flesh puddle and didn’t get why I was mad.”
“Flesh puddle?” Weiss repeated with a curious and horrified look on her face. “You know what, I don’t want to know. Ruby, I’m not going to judge you for a bit of orange-blue morality. But, try and remember what a mortal might think about, everything first.”
“I tried? That was why I didn’t just kill them. You all had things you wanted to do.” Ruby waved an arm at the forms on the ground. They had moved from ‘unconscious’ to ‘sleeping’ at some point, and didn’t seem to be having nightmares. Though even if they were… well, they might have learned not to show it. “They’re themselves. Hornier, changed, younger, but their memories are untouched, bodies cleansed and made as strong as they should have been. Cinder simply lost the emotional connection to several years and Mercury lost the… viciousness of his father’s voice. It is a kinder fate than they would have ever gotten otherwise. A perfect new start, in body.” She tilted her head, silver eyes shining under the light like mercury. “There are those that would kill for that chance.”
“And there are those that would claw out their chest to be put back to how they were, warts and all.” Yang said back chastisingly, tensing an arm around Ruby to at least press against the metaphysical self of the other woman. “We have talked about this. What we haven’t talked about is why the fuck Mercury is a dead ringer for Raven, and by extension me. Did… Qrow have a kid at some point?”
“I had nothing to do with how they look.” Ruby blinked as everyone stared at her. “Okay. I may have given them a cup size. Or two. And a better ass. But their general… look wasn’t me.”
“... A new start…” Blake’s lip curled slightly, a mild frown upon her face as her heel tapped repeatedly against the ground in response to her rising emotions. “I suppose that’s one way to see it… but I’m not about to let them just be found by anyone. Ruby changed them, so we need to handle their recovery first. Otherwise it’s just… no. Just… no. Yang, can you handle this? I’m really not sure I trust myself right now and the more I look the more agitated I get.”
“That was always the plan. I did this as opposed to killing them because you all mentioned you wanted them around.” Ruby turned to Yang. “Do you still have that super funky safe house you think I don’t know about? The one with the shag carpet and the karaoke machine?”
Weiss stared at Yang. “Shag carpet and a karaoke machine? Does it come with a disco ball too? Please tell me it comes with a disco ball.”
Yang flushed, scratching the side of her face as she slowly nodded, and the metaphysical Her receded. “Yeah. Yeah I do. Uuugh. That’s my nice place…” She grumbled, shaking her head and restraining the urge to knock her knuckles into Ruby’s head. Even if she can make it hurt, that just opened up more irritation. “Next time, Rubes, talk to us before doing something like this. Okay?”
“Okay? I’ll just kill them. If anyone else is stupid enough to try something after this .” She gestured to the scene. Once Cinder, Emerald, and Mercury fell away into a portal with a very funky beat popping out of it, the space looked… actually horrifying in a completely different way. It was a lot of blood. “I’m gonna go be with Neo for… eh, a few days? At least.”
“... I don’t…” Blake took a deep breath, biting her lip and clenching her sword tightly. She looked between Ruby, Yang, Weiss, and the blood splattered floor one more time, then shook her head. “... I need to be alone right now. This is- this is too many presses on the trauma button and I can’t deal.”
Without another word, she carved a hole in reality, jumped through, and closed it behind her.
Weiss stared at the place where Blake sliced open reality after it closed. “That's… We should probably check up on her later or something. Not right now, but later. If we go after her now she’ll, I don’t know. Which means we should probably go make sure Cinder, Emerald, and Mercury don’t destroy your safehouse?”
“They won’t.” Yang flatly stated as she released Ruby from her grip entirely, mostly so that the shorter woman could go and dominate an even shorter woman. Normally Yang might try to join in, but instead she rubbed the bridge of her nose. “I’ll go check up on Blake in an hour. This happened enough once upon a time that dealing with it is something I got used to. For now just… I dunno. Go do Weiss things, I guess? I’m going to have some peach wine, some fried chicken, a shower, and then go find my wife. Simple.”
Weiss stared at the gore covered warehouse as Yang left. “I should, probably leave before-” Blue and red sirens flashed through the windows and sirens wailed through the open window. “That happens.” Weiss groaned.
“ WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED, COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP!!! ” Some random cop blared through a megaphone.
Weiss sighed. She could probably fight them and win, but then she’d be hunted by the cops. And that would be annoying. Or more drama if Ruby decided to try and solve it again… “I hope Qrow or Winter can get me out of this or something…” She checked her pockets for anything she was carrying and shoved them in a Glyph.
Carefully she kicked open the large metal door and walked out the warehouse with her arms raised above her head.
Where some poor sap immediately tried to tackle her to the ground. Thanks to a combination of an insane amount of metal integrated into her body, aura, and combat training she didn’t even flinch.
“Let's just get this over with.” Weiss lethargically said. She held out her wrists to the random anti-goon.
“Weiss Schnee, right. Isn’t she dead or something?” A cop chuckled as he guided Weiss into a holding cell. “If you’re a Schnee I’ll eat my own hat.”
Weiss was definitely looking forward to cornering him in a dark alleyway and shoving a hat smoothie down his throat.
“Woah, dude. That's a lot of cybernetics.” A new voice sounded out from behind her. She turned around to see a monkey faunus with blonde hair and an open shirt exposing his chest. “Sun Wukong. Nice to meet you- Are you actually Weiss Schnee? Because I’ve gotta say I liked Mirror Mirror before you mysteriously vanished from the public eye and press releases started only mentioning two Schnee kids.”
Weiss nodded. “I am, yes. I was never even pronounced dead or anything people just assumed I was. It's surprisingly useful for not getting swarmed in public.” Weiss wasn’t that uncommon of a name. It literally just meant white after all.
“Nice.” Sun held out his hand for a fist bump which Weiss lightly tapped with her metallic fist. “Gotta say though, I was not expecting to meet you in prison. I mean I just got arrested for being a stowaway-” he paused. “An alleged stowaway, and got lost in the system and I can’t exactly pay bail until my team gets here. What did you do to end up in jail anyway?”
“Get found inside a blood covered warehouse.” Weiss deadpanned.
Sun’s eyes blew open. “Oh. Thats. You didn’t do it right?” he hesitantly asked.
“Not this time.” Weiss bluntly explained as she took a seat on the dirty bench. “And I can confidently say that no one actually died, or was even harmed in the end, physically at least. But I can’t really say why so I’m hoping for someone important to come and bury this.” Probably not Ozpin. If she remembered right he was busy getting a liver transplant.
“That’s… Uh. I don’t know what to do here. I’m just going to choose to believe you.” Sun decided. “Say if you’re getting released by someone can you bail me out too? I really don’t want to wait for my teammates to get here. The beds suck. And they get angry when I hang on the rafters with my tail. I don’t know why, it’s not like I’m trying to break out or anything…”
Weiss shrugged. “It's not like it would be hard to break out anyway. I’m pretty sure I could pick the lock open with a fingernail and a toothpick. Or just smash it. Smashing it usually opens it.”
Sun glanced between her and the steel bars keeping them locked in together. “So, any particular reason you aren’t doing that or…”
Weiss ran hand down her face. “Because it would start with fighting the entire police precinct, then all the cops in town, a couple hunters eventually, and probably end with me and my team overthrowing the government of Vale. Which I don’t exactly want to do.” Yet.
“Yeah, that sounds like a lot to manage.” Sun agreed. “I’ve always just wanted to go with the flow you know? But if you do end up doing it can you make punching racists legal?”
“Sure.” Weiss agreed. “Honestly I probably would have done that anyway, eventually. But in the odd chance I end up the God-Queen of Vale I’ll make sure that's legal.”
“Awesome.” Sun let a stupid grin slip onto his face. “You know, I think you’re the one person from Atlas that I didn’t immediately hate.”
“Understandable. Atlas sucks.” Weiss agreed. “But if my sister is the one that comes to get me, make sure not to say that. She’s Ironwood's something. I’m not sure her position has an official name but she reports to him directly, and kind of hero worships him a little I think.”
Sun nodded seriously. “Got it. If your sister shows up I love Atlas and everything it stands for.” He recited before he leaned back onto the concrete wall. “For as long as we’re still near this place anyway.”
Weiss grinned. “Oh, once we’re gone go for the throat. It’ll be funny.”
Chapter 51: Vytal Festival - Cat Stuck in a Tree.
Chapter Text
She made a Qliphoth tree. A fake one, considering the lack of blood. But it was big.
If Yang couldn’t fly with her flame clouds, she’d have a tough time getting up here. As it stood, she landed on the edge opposite of Blake and walked up to her.
“Your portal opening days are over, Blake. Gimme the Yamato.” Yang quietly mumbled to herself with a quiet snort, fairly sure that Blake couldn’t hear her in her plastic chair.
“If you want it, you’ll have to take it,” Blake responded in a perfect, flat monotone- not a sardonic deadpan, not a snarky quip, just… flat. Tired. Almost empty, if not for the way her voice hitched slightly halfway through. “... But you already knew that…”
“Had a feeling you’d say that.” Yang said back softly as she approached, not drawing Hassaikai despite the gag between them. “How’re you doing?”
“... You ever had a moment in your life where you were reminded of all of your worst days, where you couldn’t think of anything but how awful what you were seeing was, but then everyone around you just seemed to laugh it off? Treat it like some big joke, oh Ruby you’re such a stinker. And you just feel insane trying to make it sound like a big deal to you when no one else seems to care?” Blake asked rhetorically, staring off into the distant mountains without turning to face Yang. “I don’t know. How do you think I’m doing?”
Sucking in a breath, Yang pushed her hair out of her face as she got closer. “Alright, guess we’re doing this. Do you think this is the first actual time Ruby’s done this in a way that personally affected me, let alone someone else?” She walked closer, looking like she was about to pick up Blake before settling on leaning against her shoulder. “Being reminded that I was completely powerless was what re-awoke Kaido’s power in the first place. Even if I wasn’t strapped down in a table with my stomach carved open, it still got me pretty bad as well. So, to answer you, yes, I do know what it’s like. To feel like the victim. To have my trauma thrown in my face. To feel my dreams die. But, I also acknowledge that Ruby doesn’t know what it’s like to be human anymore. So I take a gentle hand, I smack her upside the head, I tell her she was wrong, and I keep her from escaping so she’ll actually listen and take her punishment.”
“Mm… it’s still… rough,” Blake sighed, not moving from her chair and just… blankly swishing her tail as her only real acknowledgement of Yang’s words. “... but Ruby couldn’t have known, could she? Did she? I’ve given just about everything but my soul to her, and it’s not like I made a secret of what I went through before… but she still chose to do that… so easily, without caring… I guess it’s my fault that I thought she’d still follow any kind of human morality though…”
“That’s not-” Yang clicked her tongue, and then shook her head. “Ruby has the least recollection of whoever the Hunter was before. And outside of making jokes about Nelo Angelo, we never went into detail about what that was, only that it was traumatic enough to affect you, but not severe enough to not make small jokes. I don’t think she even knows what Devil May Cry is… It’s not your fault for trusting Ruby, but Ruby also compromised from just killing them because she knew you didn’t want them dead. Ruby’s a Great Old One, they can’t… they can’t interact with people, intentionally or not, without accidentally hurting them.”
She huffed, and then slowly and delicately picked up Blake, waiting for any sign she should stop, before dropping into the chair and feeling a mild amount of surprise it didn’t snap under their combined weight. “I know it sounds like I’m making excuses. Or at least, that’s what it sounds like to me. But Ruby wasn’t trying to hurt you, is what I’m saying. Just that her way of not being murderous is broken. And she knows she did something wrong, which is why she’s spending the next few days with Neo.”
“... I think knowing that just makes it worse,” Blake murmured, curling up in Yang’s arms. She still didn’t turn to face Yang either, and instead just… continued to brood and stare off into the distance. “That she was trying but didn’t… quite understand. I would have been fine with the murder, honestly… yeah, I would have been disappointed, but people die and that’s just the truth of the world. But… it’s just… I can’t get over it. The idea that Ruby would just casually be able to… to mess around with people’s bodies and minds and souls like that. Every single part of me has… has some trauma relating to people just… twisting us. Using us. Breaking us. My original body realized almost too late what Adam was doing to her. Vergil is Vergil, and that last part of me… might have been the most normal out of my parts, but she still had a lot of pain and paranoia about this exact thing. It just feels… dumb. Stupid. Like I’m making a big deal out of what should have just been a one and done cosmic joke.”
“It’s not.” Yang shook her head, and then blinked. “Huh. Deja vu. Anyway,” she quickly shook her head, “It is okay to be worried about that. Ruby did it to me accidentally when we were younger and she got a bit too… much, back then. But that was a mild blessing in hindsight because it kickstarted all of this. But it still reminded me too much of being fourteen, fresh off of fighting in wars, and then sold to the World Government. And it reminded me of being in my twenties, stuck in one of old man Vega’s labs, while they tried to cut open my stomach next to a fourteen year old brat named Alber. I’m not gonna say what happened to us was the same. I’m not even going to say I can fully empathize with what you went through, because I had to push past it without time to think about it. But, I will say that Ruby loves you. Ruby loves you, and knows that she’s hurt you in some shape or form, but doesn’t know how. So she’s going to stress cuddle Neo for a few days, and then she’s going to walk up with her hands in the little dinosaur pose, and she’s going to ask for forgiveness and try to figure out how she hurt you. And I’m gonna ask you how you think you’ll respond. And I’m also gonna tell you there’s no pressure, because if you don’t want to forgive Ruby, I of all people will understand. Okay?”
“That’s…” Blake finally uncurled, slumping down and going mostly limp with a quiet huff. “I’ll forgive her. I know I will. That’s just… how I am. It’s hard for me to hold any kind of serious grudge when someone earnestly apologizes for what they’ve done, even if it still hits my trauma buttons again and again and again… I’m basically your and Ruby’s mentally deranged catgirl housewife maid. Forgiveness for perceived slights and actual harm is just… part of it all. It still sucks right now, though… I’m not even mad, just… hurt. And every time I feel hurt, no matter what lifetime it’s in… I guess I always go straight to isolating myself and wondering how hard I’d need to stab my own heart so it stops hurting forever.”
“It doesn’t.” Yang quietly mumbled back, holding her close and kissing the back of her neck. “The amount of times I tried and felt like I’d succeeded back when I was Kaido numbered into…” She trailed off, frowning in thought. “When I slammed onto Eustace, Apoo, and Hawkins, that was attempt number two hundred sixty three. For that year. Even when I actually did, I was just sad that Linlin was down there beside me, and that Yamato didn’t want to be the Daimyo of Wano. Left alone at the end with just regrets… But it was less mortifying than having to be fished out by my crew more than ten times.”
“Heh… and here I thought Vergil was dramatic…” Blake almost laughed, sniffling quietly and pressing into Yang’s arms with a quiet shiver, as if she wasn’t sure whether to run away or embrace Yang’s warmth. “I’m… sorry for running off like that. And… I don’t know. I still just want to run away and never come back sometimes… find a hole to hide in, far far away where no one can see me again… but… I guess that’s pretty hard when Ruby is still Ruby, huh…?”
“If she didn’t find you, I would.” Yang’s tone shifted, severe but not angry as she held Blake close. “You promised me two things, and if you try to abandon me I’m going to be angry. And humiliated. Because I want to believe that gooey mushy things are real and you’ve managed to make that happen beyond just sex. So take responsibility, or I’ll hunt you down no matter where you hide and drag you back to love me.”
“Those gooey mushy things are real… just…” Blake rumbled deep in her throat, discontent playing over every one of her features. “I can’t help my trauma responses, Yang. Running away is literally just… ingrained into my soul so much it became my Semblance. I love you. I love you so much that I’d never want to let you go but… still. I am who I am. Blake Belladonna. Notoriously well known for running away from her problems until someone hunts her down and slaps some sense back into her.”
“I know.” Yang smiled softly. “And you did make them real. Which is why I refuse to let you hide from me. But I also know what you’ve gone through, and it’s okay to be unhappy, or angry. Just explain why you feel the way you did with Ruby. She’ll try and play up how she acts. Say something like ‘fine, I’ll just kill them next time’. But she’ll be happy that you’re still speaking to her. That you still love her. And she’ll do anything she can to keep that from going away. For more than just the idea of getting you pregnant, too. Ruby gets real attached if it seems like she’s going to lose someone she cares for.”
“That also feels like it’s too much,” Blake grumbled a little bit, fluffing up her tail and puffing her cheeks out. “I’m just… me. I mean… yeah, I cook and clean and I try and keep everyone’s schedules organized and I balance your books and send out Doppelgangers when we don’t feel like going to class and handle the homework and stuff but…”
She paused, counting on her fingers and frowning. “... You know what, nevermind. Saying all of that out loud makes me too aware of how much I do for the team. Tsk.”
“And we love you for it.” Yang shamelessly stated, before humming. “Hey. Babe. Did you ever watch Spirited Away, and wonder what it was like to be Chihiro, flying around on Kohaku?”
“All the time,” Blake admitted without shame, smiling ever so slightly for the first time in the entire conversation. “I missed out on getting to ride you when we went to go meet the XPs in Atlas last semester, too. Always kinda regretted that…”
“Well…” Yang trailed off, before standing up. “I’m going to throw you into the air so I can transform, okay? Don’t pull my whiskers or I’m going to cry.”
“I think you’re a little too big for me to reach your whiskers from there…” Blake pointed up, curling up slightly so it’d be easier to throw her. “... You know the tree’s gonna disappear the moment I leave a hundred foot radius of the thing, right?”
“That actually makes it easier to transform. I thought I’d knock it over with my weight.” Yang shamelessly admitted, before crouching low and throwing Blake straight into the air. “I WILL CATCH YOU! ALWAYS! I PROMISE!” She shouted as the tree began to fade around her, before her body twisted and warped, spreading out until all that was left was a Golden Eastern Dragon in her place, body spiralling in the wind and held aloft by flame clouds.
“UnyyyaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAA!” Blake wailed like a particularly frightened cat, tumbling through the air until she landed gently upon Yang’s now draconic head with a muted thump and a little whuff of breath. “Weh! Ooh… your mane is really soft… even softer than when you’re in your hybrid form…”
“I go through an entire bottle of shampoo and conditioner per shower. I’d hope it was soft.” Yang rumbled out a laugh, shifting herself a small amount for Blake’s convenience. “Hold onto my horns, and don’t let go! You won’t need to worry about the cold, I’ll keep you nice and warm.”
Normally that’d be said with innuendo, or Yang making a lewd face. Instead, it was a simple fact, Yang happy to shield Blake from the cold, and her own thoughts.
“Mmm, I know it~” Blake purred, hanging onto Yang’s horn… somewhat redundantly. It wasn’t like she couldn’t stick to Yang with her own power but… letting Yang carry her like this… it was nice. Very nice. Being enveloped in her warmth, her softness, her presence… it soothed her mind and made it easier to think instead of drowning in traumas long since past.
Their trip was quiet, but it was a soft quiet, Yang softly laughing as they flew through the air. Different from when she was channeling her previous life, this laughter like temple bells, mixed with the rumbling of thunder. Still… “Do you think we’d give all of Menagerie a heart attack if I flew over, or would they think I was chucklefuck one? People still worship the God of Light over those ways, right?”
“The God of Animals, actually,” Blake corrected gently, running her fingers through Yang’s mane and smiling while the clouds drifted past and the land seemed to rush behind them. “There’s still myths and rumors that they’re hiding somewhere in Menagerie, waiting for the right time to awaken once more. I’ve never really put a lot of stock into those myths but… who knows? Maybe we’ll find them somewhere.”
“Maybe.” Yang agree as the land shifted from mountain, to plains, to ocean, to the beginnings of a jungle. “Still, you didn’t answer my question. How would your mom and dad, let alone your people, react, my lovely jungle princess? Cause we’re nearly there.”
“... Probably more than a little panic, honestly,” Blake grimaced, finally paying attention to the island continent rising in the distance. “You’re a nearly one thousand foot long giant golden dragon. Not a lot on this planet wouldn’t panic at first sight, Yang. Same as me showing up in Devil Trigger.”
“Well, I hope your parents don’t mind.” Yang chuckled, before taking a quick downturn toward the island, spinning around it, carefully so she didn’t start a twister, before landing on what she assumed was the Belladonna’s back lawn in a spiral.
“They’ll be cool. Hopefully,” Blake mumbled, then yelped a little as Yang descended up until the point that she purposefully jumped off of Yang’s head, fell with her back to the ground, and shouted “Catch me, honey~!” whilst descending.
“Ah, jeez.” Yang rumbled, before changing back to her hybrid form and catching Blake, cradling her in her arms. “Aren’t I meant to be the blushing bride?”
“Maybe, but I fit in your arms so well,” Blake purred, nuzzling against Yang with a happy little sigh. She paused, then tapped Yang’s shoulder with one hand as she heard the sound of a commotion within the house. “Ah… they heard my voice. Welp. Time to meet my parents~”
“About time.” Yang gently teased, feeling the energy of both Kali and Ghira rushing through their house and rapidly approaching.
Life was good for Yang Xiao-Long. And Blake Belladonna.
“-and then Blake just pulled her little pants down and-”
“MOM!” Blake screeched, lunging across the table and very much missing in her attempt to shut up her hysterically cackling, day drunk mother as she regaled Yang with the time that Blake had gotten so mad at one of her classmates that she’d tripped him into a hole on the beach and, well.
The implication was clear, even with Kali laughing too hard to finish her sentence, and Blake managing to turn herself into a rumpled furball on the other side of the table. Ghira, meanwhile, was stifling his laughter as best as he could because of his mouthful of sake, but even he was having a hard time keeping it in.
How Yang’s first in-person meeting with Blake’s parents had turned into them day drinking and eating izakaya snacks was a mystery, but both of them were pretty sure it was Qrow’s fault somehow. Probably.
Or it was the peach sake that Yang brought out as a gift for kind of springing the fact that she and Blake were getting married on the two parents the first time they met.
Still, Yang was enjoying the cheer in the air, a light buzz on her face as she mildly swayed, before reaching over and dragging Blake back into her lap. “That, is adorabllleeeee~” She giggled, rubbing her face against Blake’s even as her darling wife tried to escape to silence the stories of her youth. “You were a little shitbag~ ha hah.”
“I was not!” Blake struggled a little, whining and yet purring the entire time she was in Yang’s arms. “I was a polite and well behaved kid! Everyone said so! And he deserved it anyway!”
“She was very polite in school,” Ghira finally chuckled, a drunken flush on his face. “But outside of school… so rambunctious! Practically demanded to join in on rallies every time she had more than a week off from school, even tried to get suspended a few times to join the marches! Ah… I remember one time Sienna taught her to throw a brick…”
“And she threw it right into a cop’s crotch!” Kali shouted suddenly, bursting out into wild laughter again. “Oh, poor bastard… she threw it so hard! I didn’t even know she’d had Aura at the time! Pffftahahahahaha!”
“Hehehe… what did she say again, dear?” Ghira grinned, doing an imitation of tiny Blake with her grumpy attitude and angry frown. “ ‘All Cops are Bastards and Bastards get beat up!’ I really had to tell Sienna off for that one… but I don’t think it ever worked, she must have seen me smiling a little too hard about it.”
“Mooooom! Daaaaad! Nooooooo… you’re gonna make my wife think I’m a violent little weirdo!” Blake continued whining, kicking her feet drunkenly and waving her hand as if that would stop her parents.
“But Blake, you are a violent weirdo.” Yang giggled, a very silly sounding ‘Hii hii’ laugh bubbling out of her as she wobbled, yet somehow completely avoided spilling her sake saucer, bringing it to her lips and quickly knocking it back. “Pfah… Buhsides. It’s not that different from when I got Mantle to help me lynch that one general guy. Just smaller. And more funny.”
“Noooooooooo! I’m not a violent weirdo!” Blake pouted, butting her head against Yang’s titties with glistening eyes and a heavy blush. “I’m cute! And pwetty! And I’m your mentally ill housewife! Not a violent weirdo! Uweh!”
Biting Blake’s cheek with a ‘nom’ sound, Yang squinted at her lovely wife and shook her a little. “Don’ say that. You’re my weirdo! And you’re all of those things too! And-and!... Have some more peach wine, you’re looking thirsty.” She drunkenly grinned, bringing her saucer up to Blake’s mouth.
“Mrmgmrmrmrmmm…” Blake mumbled, sipping from the saucer in a decidedly drunken movement that almost made her look hamster-like with her puffed out cheeks. “Your weirdo foreeeeeeeeeveeeeeeerrrrrr~”
“They’re so cute together~!” Kali sang out, squealing and all but slamming against Ghira with the force of her excited squeeing. “Aww, they’re perfect! Look at them, Ghira! It’s like us when we were younger!”
“I don’ think I was ever blond…” Ghira mumbled blankly for a moment, then laughed at his own joke. “Pfff… heh. I’d look terrible as a blond.”
“Your beard would look too fluffy and weird.” Yang agreed with a nod, swaying slightly as Blake shifted in her lap. “A beard’s gotta be big, flowing, fantastic, and it’s gotta be dark. If it’s too light, it lookssss-weird.”
“Mmmmmmmmm… well said,” Ghira intoned as sagely as his drunk ass could possibly do, taking another sip of peach wine before slumping slightly. “Woo… that is… some very good wine. Have I said that already? It’s very good… reminds me of… better times. In Mistral, before the White Fang really started… it was quiet and simple back there, even if there was racism all over the place…”
“He was a big, strong farmhand with maaaaaagic hands~” Kali sing-songed, bumping her head against Ghira’s shoulder again. “Mmm~ Big n’ strong n’ fluffy n’ smart too~ All those big dreams about being a Faunus politician and fixing the world… aww, what a big, sweet baby~”
“Mm,” Ghira grunted a little, blushing at Kali’s attention. “I was… I was a farmer, and Kali was a dancer… I helped her troupe set up one day and it was… it was love at first sight… and first arson.”
“Our troupe manager was taking aaaaaall of our money and saying we only got a pittance~” Kali hummed, miming an explosion. “Cuz we were all Faunus! So we tied him up and blew up his wagon and stole all our money back! And then big Ghira here said we should make an organization! A-and a town of our own! And we’d have our own laws and our own people n’ our own place to live! With blackjack! And hookers! Wooo! Love mama some hookers!”
“I coulda gone my whole life not hearing that,” Blake wheezed out, suddenly sounding far more sober upon hearing her mother say that.
“Hush, wife. Your mother’s not much different from you.” Yang teased, taking another sip of her sake and letting out a sigh, before straightening up slightly. Still very buzzed, of course, but able to focus. “And I ‘member. Talked to uh… old lady. Fox Faunus. Lost her son and daughter. Tight ass or whatever b’came a war crimnal, ‘n I busted him up and she shot him. It takes a lot to kill a dream, ‘n ‘m sorry that they tried to kill yours.”
“Takes a lot to kill a dream shared by so many,” Ghira murmured sagely, patting Kali on the head. “... The freedom thing… not- not the arson. We tried not to do arson. Mostly. Sienna really liked arson… I thought… I thought coexistence was better, but Sienna wanted to fight until they couldn’t… couldn’t not agree.”
“I only disagreed with Sienna cuz she wanted t’blow up whooooole towns,” Kali huffed, crossing her arms and pouting before chugging down another shot of peach wine. “I love her but she’s sooooo dumb… and likes arson too much.”
“She… she did teach everyone a lot about setting things on fire…” Blake mumbled out, blinking a few times and hiccuping. “Mmm… Yaaaaaang… mmm feelin… warm… n’... fuzzy…”
“Som’times Vi’lence is the only way.” Yang stated, wobbling a bit again. “It’s impor- tant, to make them know. An okay, I’ll take you t’ bed. Whish room’s yours?” She said, standing up and gently carrying Blake, graceful despite her inebriated state.
“Upstairs t’ the riiight~” Kali called out, pointing towards the stairs off to the side. “Y’can’t miss it~ I kept it clean for you Blaaake~! All your posters n’ notebooks an’ CDs an’ plushies an’ laundry! I even changed the sheets just last night with that lemon scented detergent you like~”
“Weeeeehhhh…” Blake mewled out pathetically, wiggling her arms and legs at the onslaught of parental affection. “Thank youuuuu… weh.”
“Aww, she says it now too,” Ghira laughed, poking Kali gently.
“Weh!” Kali responded in kind, making a little cat paw motion. “Only when I’m… I’m drinky, dear!”
“Hiihii…” Yang giggled to herself as she slowly opened Blake’s room door, blinking at all the chains, the ritual circles, the emo bands she’d never really heard of, the shitty mall ninja katanas… The sharingan rug in the center of the room… “Edgelord.” She giggled again, cuddling Blake against her body and then dropping into Blake’s too small bed. Too small for Yang. Blake would fit just fine. “Edgelord wife. I luuuuve you.”
“Nuuuu… not an edgelord… I’m… I’m emooo~” Blake mumbled out, burrowing into Yang’s arms. “Weehhhh… wuv uuuu…”
Life was good for Yang Xiao-Long. And her edgelord wife.
Chapter 52: Vytal Season- Different Drum (Weiss 13)
Chapter Text
“Weiss.” Winter began as they walked out of Vales forty-first police precinct. “I hope you understand that I have several questions about why I had to bail you out of jail. Namely why you also had me bail out your cellmate.”
Sun gave a little wave. “Duh, I’m awesome. That's why.” He answered like the himbo he is.
Winter paused mid stride at the comment. She stuttered for a moment, trying her best to find the words but when she failed she did the only thing she could do. Ignore whatever the fuck Sun just said.
Weiss shrugged. “Because we bonded. Being arrested is a traumatizing experience you know. They didn’t even believe I was Weiss Schnee.” Sun gave a serious nod to accentuate her statement.
“Right…” Winter looked at her like she needed psychiatric help. Which to be fair she might. “Ignoring that, why exactly were you found inside a blood covered warehouse that detectives are still investigating due the sheer quantity of gore?”
“I can’t tell you. Attorney client privilege.” Weiss dismissed her sister.
“Weiss, you aren’t a lawyer. You never went to law school.” Winter said as her posture slipped from the sheer absurdity of her sister's claim.
“Well, you’re right. I didn’t. But,” Weiss held a finger with a grin on her face. “I did get bored in there waiting for you to get here from Atlas so I hacked myself in Vale’s bar. I am now Weiss Schnee, practicing attorney. Sun too.” She tacked on at the end.
“Wait really? Awesome. Sun Wukong, people's public defender. Lawyer by day, huntsman by night.” Sun wrapped an arm around Weiss' shoulder and waved his hand in front of them.
Winter threw her head into hands and groaned loudly. “Weiss, you just admitted an actual crime to me. I can be compelled to testify against you. Why in the name of the Brother Gods would you ever do that? How did you even do that?”
Weiss pointed at her eyes. “I finally got around to getting my eyes replaced. Which means I can actually use the computer built, somewhere into me. I really need to get around to breaking into a SDC field office and steal or threaten the blueprints for my augments out of it.”
Winter exhaled sharply before she turned to glare at Weiss. “Please stop talking about committing crimes in front of me. I can get you a copy of blueprints if you really want them. Your first instinct should not be to commit crime.”
“Your first instinct should be to commit crime.” Sun countered with a feral grin on his face. “Crime is cool. And what's legal isn’t always what's moral. And it's fun.”
“How could crime ever be fun?” Winter looked like she was about to resort to Ozpin’s coping mechanism of drinking enough and praying that it would be enough to make the world make sense again. Shame the closest thing to a god around listening was Ruby.
“Killing Jacques for one.” Weiss offered offhand. “It’s been a massive team bonding activity for my team plotting his death.” Well they also had other team bonding activities but Winter definitely didn’t need to know about those.
Winter looked away as she considered it. Slowly realization dawned on her face as she looked both eager and ashamed of what she was thinking. “Fine. Some crimes can be fun. But please don’t get arrested again. It won’t look good in court.”
“Wait, you didn’t nepotism me out of the consequences of my actions?” Weiss was genuinely confused. Atlas had people getting their family pardoned constantly. “You’re Ironwood’s- What is your rank anyway? I know you report to him directly but still.”
“Classified.” Winter waved away the question much to Weiss' disappointment. She’d just have to ask Ironwood when they eventually went to go kick his shins in. “Abusing the power of my office wouldn’t be befitting of a soldier of Atlas.”
“Yeah that doesn't sound suspicious at all.” Weiss crossed her arms and eyed Winter. “You just report to the general of the Atlas Military and Headmaster of Atlas Academy. Who also holds two different council seats. And sends you on highly classified missions.”
“Well, when you put it like that.” Winter tried to justify. “Its- General lronwood needs things done by someone he trusts for the good of Remnant that he’d rather not exactly be public.”
“Holy fuck you sound brainwashed.” Sun said without thinking. Not that he did a lot of thinking anyway. He was more fun that way though. “Like damn. It sounds like he’s straight up sending you on illegal black ops missions.”
Winter was suspiciously silent.
“You aren’t actually doing illegal black ops stuff for Ironwood right?” Weiss couldn’t help but ask.
Winter continued to be as talkative as Neo.
“Oh. He actually is. Okay.” Weiss muttered. “Okay that’s… Winter I hope you realize thats kind of fucked up from a moral, ethical, and legal standpoint right? Weren’t you telling me not to do crimes earlier? Your entire job is commiting crimes.”
“If you get arrested I’m a great lawyer.” Sun offered despite learning he was a lawyer about five minutes ago. “I did a whole fifteen minute course on how the law works. I skimmed it a little though. I got the basics and I’ll figure out the rest when I get there.”
“That's not how the law works…” Winter groaned.
“You would be an expert, given how often you break it apparently.” Sun joked.
“Do as I say, not as I do.” Winter paraphrased.
“Winter, one of my girlfriends is the mob boss of Vale. I have committed numerous crimes. I will probably commit more when I need or want to.” Weiss carefully explained. “I literally couldn't care less about how many people you’ve killed with a pencil or something. It's just bad you're doing it for Ironwood.”
“Yeah Ironwood sucks.” Sun parroted in affirmation.
“He’s a paranoid control freak whose semblance turns off his emotions and gives him tunnel vision, he has two seats on the Atlas council, he militarized the academy meant to train impartial hunters that would protect every kingdom, and he straight up ignores Mantle most days.” Weiss listed off one by one as she gave Winter an unimpressed stare.
“He’s also directly responsible for a number of high ranking military officials taking power, all of whom opposed and actively tried to suppress or ignore Faunus rights, actively participated in violently suppressing Faunus protests in Mantle when he was a soldier on the ground, and is, in general, prone to shooting first and locking people up forever instead of actually following due process and allowing people their human or Faunus rights,” Blake spoke up, appearing out of nowhere and wrapping her arms around Weiss from behind with a satisfied little purr. “G’morning pookie~ How was jail?”
“Good, I found Sun!” She pointed at Sun. “I’m gonna make him my goon. Get him a goonion membership and everything. Gotta make sure he gets dental too, healthy teeth are very important. And a minimum of six weeks paid vacation per year, or more if he asks for it.”
Winter stared at the odd Faunus who had appeared out of nowhere and called her sister ‘Pookie’. “I’m sorry, who are you?”
“Blake Belladonna, daughter of Menagerie’s Chieftain Ghira Belladonna, adoptive niece of the High Leader of White Fang Sienna Khan, the closest thing on the planet to actual Faunus royalty, and did I mention that I’m currently second in command of the Vale White Fang chapter, soon to be married to the actual leader?” Blake grinned, firmly wrapping her arms around Weiss’ waist and nuzzling into her neck. “And Weiss’ girlfriend. One of three, actually.”
Winter stared at Weiss and Blake as if reality had stopped making sense. Maybe it had. “I- Guh- Wha- Weiss what the fuck? ” Winter managed to spit out as her eyes widened.
Weiss just leaned into Blakes incredibly comfy hold. “I’m dating a former, maybe current, domestic terrorist. And the crime boss of Vale. And Ruby.” Winter was not ready to learn about everything going on with Ruby.
Sun, already getting started on his goon work, cheered them on. “Yeah polyamory! Be crime, do gay!”
Weiss already wanted to give him a raise.
“Now I understand why Ozpin has a drinking problem.” Winter sighed, her normally strict posture entirely gone
“Well, I mean, I’m not technically a domestic terrorist,” Blake pointed out, continuing to gently caress Weiss while hugging her from behind. “I’m an international terrorist responsible for… seventeen factory burnings, the destruction and closing of two Dust mines, thirty assassinations, twelve home invasions, at least one public execution, aaaaaaand…. Like two hundred robberies. And that was over the last five years. Mostly in Atlas and Mistral. I miiiiiiight have also sliced an entire military convoy in half that one time but I might have been also drunk at the time. I dunno, my sixteenth birthday is fuzzy.”
“That was you!?!” Winter almost shouted but didn’t due to the large crowd around them. “General Vomo was a highly decorated officer with years of service. I should be arresting you right now!”
“He was also a massive racist.” Weiss deadpanned. “Like seriously. I met him once, he said I looked great and winked at me and then talked about how Faunus should be thrown in cages and hunted for sport. He was responsible for Atlas’ policy of sending the military in to shut down all protests!”
“I understand he was, distasteful, but you can’t just kill people you disagree with! There needs to be a process to these things and gradually we’ll reform the system to be fair.” Winter countered as if her proposition was at all sensible.
“Maroon Leaf Green Jr.” Blake deadpanned.
Winter tensed. “He was a great leader in the field of early Faunus rights. The conspiracy theory that the Atlesian government assassinated him is absurd.”
“Reverend Orange Lee.” Blake continued to stare directly at Winter without blinking. “Lemon Smyth. Medgar Evergreen. Addie Maize Coral. Denim McNair. Canary Rubine. Cyan Wisteria. All activists for Faunus rights. All of them dying in, near, or in preparation to travel to Atlas in the last fifty years. And that’s only a few of the names I could list. I wonder why that is.”
“I know! I know okay!” Winter broke. “Before General Ironwood took power Atlas had a standing policy of assassinating Faunus rights activists that planned to come anywhere near Solitas.” She admitted to them and the street of people that started to watch. “I’ve assassinated people. At this point it's an open secret that Atlas likes to assassinate people, especially Faunus. But what else is there!?! I- I… I have to believe in the rule of law, otherwise what else is there?”
“Your own morals maybe?” Weiss offered. “Like seriously. Ironwood is a massive asshole who can be described as complacent at best and a fascist who enables racists at worse. He writes the rule of law in Atlas. He could clean it up in less than a decade if he really wanted to, but he won’t. Because he’s a hypocrite who gathers power to sit on because he trusts literally no one except the people he brainwashed to believe in the same bullshit as him.”
“Maybe a legal system that doesn’t rely on endless military expansion to satisfy the needs of a ruling class that literally sits in ivory towers floating on a literal mountain island that casts a never ending shadow over a pit of undesirables and disenfranchised poor people,” Blake continued to deadpan, then huffed and cuddled Weiss some more. “Weiss, your sister is dumb and needs to quit her job and spend some time getting laid and doing weed. Honestly, if she just wanted to piss of Jacques, get disowned, and never deal with rich bastards again, she literally could have just taken a one way flight to Menagerie and spent the rest of her life making ‘Schnee princess gets gangbanged by Faunus girlcock’ porn on the beaches of Kuo Kuana.”
Winter seemed halfway between rage, lust, and depression. “I can’t just abandon my post! I’ve assassinated people for Atlas, sabotaged villages before they could declare independence from the government, disorganized Faunus rights protests before they could even agree on a time and date! I could get court martialed! I could-” She froze when she realized an entire crowd of people had gathered to watch. A crowd of people that definitely heard her earlier admissions to several crimes.
And Sun, who had been recording everything on his Scroll from the start. “Worldstar!” He shouted.
Ten-million raises for Sun.
“I- I’m going to be court martialed. I’m going to be assassinated! I'm too young to be assassinated! I haven’t even been bitten by a hot goth girl in five inch heels!” She cried out into the alleyway. “I’ve broken so many laws in the past five minutes. Vale, Mistral, even Vacuo have extradition policies because of the Treaty of Vytal!”
“And that’s why you should have just gone to Menagerie,” Blake deadpanned, finally letting go of Weiss and strolling out in front of Winter with a raised eyebrow. “So here’s what we’re going to do. Winter Schnee, Specialist of the Atlesian Military. I stand before you as Blake Belladonna, daughter of the Chieftain of Menagerie, second in command of the Vale White Fang, and favored soldier of Sienna Khan. You have committed grave crimes against the Faunus of Atlas, Mantle, and likely beyond, but I am not without mercy. I offer you sanctuary on the grounds of Menagerie, and all lands claimed as territory by the White Fang organization, so long as you work to repent and repair the damage you have done. If you agree, you have my word that you will be safe, free from reprisal or retaliation by the Atlesian Military on pain of their deaths. I can also put in a good word for you at Kuo Kuana’s local goth cafe.”
“After everything I’ve done, you’d offer me an olive branch?” Winter was completely and utterly bewildered as she stared at Blake. “All the people I killed, directly and indirectly. Everything I’ve done in the name of Atlas. You should be hanging me from the gallows.”
“Because punitive justice is stupid and reformative justice should almost always be the default for anyone willing.” Weiss slapped her sister on the head. “Take the offer Winter. I like you alive and not assassinated by General Copperdick.”
“I mean, you did believe you were doing the right thing up until the point you realized you were just murdering a bunch of people for being, and to quote the late Titus Anium, a bunch of uppity shit covered animals, so. I’m willing to give you the benefit of the doubt and believe you can be a better person,” Blake shrugged. “Also, I’m not letting Ruby or Yang have you, because Ruby would do some kind of horrific body modification thing and Yang might actually kill you and I have a thing about pretty girls getting hurt. So. Go. Grab a ticket to Menagerie if you want. I won’t stop you.”
“It was so easy to just believe in him… Thank you, I don’t deserve this but thank you.” Winter managed to get out as a few tears leaked down her face. “I’ll get to Menagerie, somehow.”
“I’ve got this. Pull the lever Sun!” Weiss called out to her minion.
Sun, not questioning anything, stopped the recording and pulled the lever that had appeared next to him at some point. The moment it clunked into place on the other side a platform under Winter sprung up, and launched her into the stratosphere.
“Knew that would come in handy.” Weiss thought aloud with her hands on her hips, clearly proud of herself. “She’s now on a direct one person flight straight to Menagerie. No peanuts though. The mad scientist I bought this from couldn’t figure out a way to fit it in.”
“...” Blake stared at Weiss, then at the platform that had just kind of shown up. “... Hey Weiss? What the fuck?”
Chapter 53: Vytal Season - With Blackjack and Hookers
Chapter by CyberQueen_Jolyne, desolatedsabers, InternecionWitch
Chapter Text
“So it turns out, it’s… a slightly more difficult to get a Mistrali type festival set up on Beacon grounds than it really should be, but on the bright side, since it’s all coming out of pocket we don’t have to go through the Bursar’s office, we just need to make sure we’re all up to safety code and make sure we have security running so no one does anything stupid,” Blake hummed, tapping her pen against her clipboard and pursing her lips while several doppelgangers began lining out rough outlines for where everything would go- all of the stalls, attractions, and other such things that would lead up to the auditorium itself for the dance. Which, honestly, the dance would be the least impressive part of the festival at this rate, seeing as it was an official (ie, boring) Beacon event and Blake’s plan with the festival meant that not only would it have better food, entertainment, music, games, and events, but also it’d be just fun in general with a lack of chaperoning teachers and whatnot.
There’d be alcohol, low stakes card games for carnival prizes, and…
…
Okay, they couldn’t officially advertise that they had hookers, but if money changed hands and a few people snuck off to some carefully curated private areas built into the festival grounds on purpose… well. Blake wouldn’t tell.
The only problem was, again, just the safety permits and administrative red tape. The kind she couldn’t just slash apart with Yamato.
“If there's one thing I learned in Atlas is how to make sure things are up to code. Or well, it was mostly about abusing loopholes to make things seem up to code but you need to know the rules to break them efficiently.” Weiss offered as she watched Blake’s doppelgangers work to build the festival grounds. “As for security… Doesn’t Yang control the Vale White Fang now? They could probably handle that. Call it community outreach or something.”
“I have a gang that operates out of Vale that happens to contain White Fang.” Yang hummed, shifting in place and just moving for the sake of it. A small, minorly anxious tic she had. “They probably could though. Wouldn’t be difficult.”
“Well, that’s security checked off…” Blake murmured, then idly considered the safety checklist for all of the stalls that they were going to set up. “Hmm… each food stall needs to be insured and run or backed by an actual, inspection passing restaurant, the game stalls just need insurance in case of collapse, and everything needs to comply with Vale building code 74B section C subsection A, regarding the construction of commercial stalls for festivals and celebrations. Easy enough. Plus the little photo booth stalls, all the portapotties we’re gonna need to bring in, the dumpsters out of the way, garbage service… I dunno, Yang can your gang actually get all this stuff in time? I know it’s big but it’s a lot of stuff to procure. Enough stuff to handle at least a hundred stalls, and that’s not even going into hiring the night’s entertainment… The logistics alone… I mean, I can substitute for at least two to twenty five different contractor crews if I have to, but still. Plus all the invites we need to send out- your gang has connections to local businesses, right?”
“If by connections you mean I own almost everything but mom and pop stores, yeah.” Yang nodded, still shifting. Her tail was swaying as well as she looked distracted. “That’s kind of blowing it all into a point that it’s not, but the general gist is that I either own a chunk of them or have a stake in how they run their businesses, with the sole exception being small stores because I’m not about that life. Roman knows that and avoids crushing them if he can as well.”
“Right. So. Put out some feelers, see who can do a festival night…” Blake hummed, eyeing the chalk lines being drawn on the ground. “Actually those need to be a foot wider, regulation compliance is at least fifteen feet for a main thoroughfare, and we wanna be well within compliance levels here.”
She paused, turning back to Yang. “We also need a bunch of metal barricades to make sure people don’t wander out of the festival grounds into places where they’re not supposed to. Aaaaand like… yeeeaaahhhh… a bunch of other stuff, but at this point I’m like two seconds away from just sending Roman like a thirty page email checklist and watching him cry about it for the next three weeks straight.”
“He’s actually very good at checklists and spreadsheets. He likes the theatre but he also manages a lot of the business side of things so I’d appreciate you not making him want to quit.” Yang added with a mumble, tapping her fingers together. “I can get metal barricades.”
“You realize I could just hack into Vale’s government and issue certificates right? I mean I wouldn't normally but I feel like you’d definitely have everything up to code anyway and it saves us the nightmare of trying to get the government to do anything.” Weiss shuddered. “I’ll never forget the time I had to go to the DMV. So many hours wasted. Never again.”
“Why did you have to go to the DMV…?” Blake asked, looking at Weiss oddly. “Do you have a car? I don’t have a car… wait-”
She turned, facing Yang with pleading eyes. “Baaaaabe~ Can you sugar mommy me~ I want a cool sporty car that we can be hot gay bitches in, and we can show off at the beach n’ stuff!”
Yang opened her mouth, and then closed it before slowly nodding. “Hot beach stuff sounds nice.”
“Yessss!”
“Well, no I don’t have a car. But it's the easiest form of ID and you never know when you need to be the getaway driver. Plus it made getting my airship license easier.” Weiss hummed. “Honestly there was less paperwork for getting that approved than a license. I don’t know why but that's just how it worked.”
“Also, if you’re going to the beach I’m going to have to sit that out. The beach is evil.” She gestured to her prosthetics. “I can rust. I don’t know how, I don’t know why. Aura doesn’t stop the saltwater for some unholy reason.”
“Wait but if you can rust then running on blood should’ve already ruined your arms.” Yang pointed out, tilting her head. “Since blood’s technically rust to begin with.”
“Because I absorb the blood before it actually does anything.” Weiss pointed out. “It reacts with my aura before it can react with the metal, if that makes sense. Besides, that's not the only reason the beach is evil. We still haven’t explored the full thing and there are creatures that live down there we don’t even know about.”
“Fish that I haven’t eaten yet…” Blake purred, completely giving in to the stereotype about Cat Faunus. “Sea creatures I haven’t terrorized yet… Grimm I haven’t killed yet… not much that’s a problem for us. Also, man, that is a shitty problem to have with salt water… damn. I guess a full team beach trip is out… or, at least, swimming in the ocean. We could probably park a roofless SUV on a beach, chill out there, rock with our tits out, you know how it goes. No salt water, just sun and good vibes and a beach barbecue.”
“You’re making it really tempting.” Weiss grumbled. “It's not just the water, it's the sand too. It's coarse, it's rough, it's irritating, and it gets everywhere. It's hell on my hydraulics.”
“Your body’s kind of badly designed if they’re getting into your piston tubes.” Yang couldn’t help but comment, looking at Weiss’ legs for a moment before looking back at her. “We could probably make you some plastic stockings. Or just wrap plastic bags around your legs. Its how I dealt with this problem I had when I was young-young, got shingles or something and couldn’t wash them properly so I had to wrap plastic bags around my legs.”
“The average Atlesian probably doesn’t even think sand is real. It works against dirt, water, gravel, but sand is just made different. There's got to be a more elegant solution than plastic bags but I’m not opposed to it.” Weiss sighed. “It's… I haven’t gone to the beach in an entire lifetime, even ten years before that. I want to go again sort of… Now that I can kill whatever evil beach demons are hiding in the water.”
“... Or, hear me out,” Blake cleared her throat, wiggling her fingers. “Demon magic. Boom. Problem solved. It’s not hard to make barriers that repel certain substances- why do you think my outfits are always so pristine and pretty even when I spend a bunch of time rolling around in the grass when I’m bored?”
Weiss grabbed Blake by her shoulders. “Please tell me my miniscule amount of demonic energy can actually let me do that. Do you know how annoying it is hand washing the T-shirts I want to preserve? And my combat outfit too but you get the idea.”
“It uh-” Blake blinked a few times, a little surprised by Weiss’ sudden insistence. “Probably? Look, if you want me to give you more power, I… do… have a few other orbs I can try and give you that might work…? Question mark…? But what you have now should at least keep most ordinary artifacts clean against normal wear and tear. Just… focus your energy and will it to be a barrier soaked into your clothes, repelling dirt and stains and such. And water and sand, for your prosthetics.”
“Probably, not a good idea to give a normal, normalish, human even more demonic power. Especially if you say ‘question mark’ after ‘might work’. Maybe if I end up needing it?” Weiss backed away from Blake and closed her eyes. “Just gotta, imagine it working and hope it does.”
Ever so slightly her aura shimmered, becoming maybe just a shade lighter of blue around her clothes and prosthetics. When she opened her eyes she stared at her hand as she opened and closed it. “Feels like sunscreen. Does that mean it worked? How do we even test that?”
“Well…” Blake paused, rubbing her chin… and then popped a ketchup packet directly over Weiss’... robot shoe… foot.
“Oh damn, for free?” Yang frowned, staring at said uncovered foot.
“I’m going to remove your scrolls network card. No more internet for you. You’ve had too much.” Weiss glared at Yang. “I choose to believe my shoe is a shoe because otherwise that means I’ve been walking around barefoot and that is too much for my mind to bare.”
She gave her shoe a little shake and like magic the droplet of ketchup rolled harmlessly into the dirt. “Huh, neat. Guess my augments are hydrophobic and sand proof now. Now we’re all ready to do a beach episode.”
“Sweet!” Blake grinned… aaand then remembered that she was still going over their preparations for the dance. “... Shit. That’ll have to wait until after the Dance. Oh, and before the Vytal Festival… or after? I dunno. Kuo Kuana has nice beaches all year round, so it’s whatever. The only hard part is driving a car through a portal… I don’t know how Nico managed to get that van of hers just about fucking anywhere it needed to be.”
Yang stared into space for a moment, before nodding her head. “Alright. That leads us to our next investigation. Ahem.” She cleared her throat, before wrapping an arm around Blake and walking. “OI! NORA! C’MERE AND I’LL LET YOU SQUEEZE MY TITS!”
“Fuck yeah!” Nora shouted, appearing in a blaze of demonic energy and running grabby hands first straight at Yang’s chest. “Woohoo! Dragon tits!”
“Like a moth to a flame.” Weiss sagely added as if she wouldn’t also come rocketing down from the sky if Yang called for her like that.
“... I’d like to let it be known that I’m wondering exactly when you lost your compunctions about being monogamous and wedded to Kyrie,” Blake deadpanned, staring at Nora with idle irritation.
“When I got turned into a free floating demon soul, got shoved into a baby, and had to go through double puberty because I started HRT at apparently a really great time!” Nora responded easily, not bothering to remove her hands from Yang’s boobs, though one of her ephemeral wing arms did form just to flip off Blake. “Suck it, bitch. I’m bi and poly now, what’re you gonna do?”
“Uninvite you from my wedding at this rate,” Blake rolled her eyes. “Honestly. A little decorum when you’re fondling my soon-to-be wife? Please?”
Nora huffed, growling under her breath. “Ugh, fine. But only because we’re friends now, and not father and son anymore.”
“Honestly I’d probably have more of a problem, except I have, quite literally, the best pair of tits in the world.” Yang smirked, tail swishing as she patted Blake’s shoulder. “Anyway, I didn’t just call you here to get a squeeze. How the fuck did Nico get around Redgrave City?”
“... Honestly? No clue. That van was some kinda magic, though,” Nora shrugged, not knowing the answer either. “Chalked it up to Nico wizardry and didn’t think twice. Had other things on my mind anyway.”
Blake sighed, scratching her head. “And now we’ll never know. Ah well. Mysteries for later. For now… I’m gonna send Roman an email, and hope that everything gets set up in time. Oh, and I’ll need to head home for a bit, get a new kimono tailored… right! Team _WBY, roll out!”
Chapter 54: Vytal Season: Rust Flaked Conversation (Ruby 13)
Chapter by Argo_The_Rat, CyberQueen_Jolyne
Summary:
Apologies
Chapter Text
“So… have they woken up yet…?” Blake asked idly, pretending that she wasn’t invested in how Cinder, Emerald, and Mercury were doing. “It’s been… a little bit. A few days, actually. Figured I’d just check in, see what’s going on there.”
“Mmm…” Ruby tilted her head side to side, humming to a tune without music. She would have preferred spending more time with Neo, but they’d barely even gotten to the cock warming before some other thing had happened. Ironwood’s ships in the sky made her itchy . “Mostly. Emerald is awake and moving, so she’s taken charge of keeping the other two fed and watched over. Mercury… she’ll be a while. Lot of crying and wondering about how she got here and a lot of going back over memories and realizing just how shitty it actually was and how bad that fucked her up.”
“Mm…” Blake nodded slowly and pursed her lips, sitting down by Ruby and sighing. “... I’m still not happy about what you did, Ruby. But I’m not going to sit here and pretend like I’m mad at you because you did something you thought was right. I just… I don’t know. It feels pointless to even say anything at this point, and I’m not even sure it’d really matter in the long run anyway. Cinder and Mercury and Emerald are already changed and it’s not like you can put them back.”
“It wouldn’t be a good idea to try.” It could, theoretically, work. It just… well. Ruby shouldn’t actually be able to do that. Not really. Part of her nature slightly touched on sort of… selective breeding? Hunting dogs and the like. But that was a stretch and really didn’t apply to… attempting to put someone into a better body to attempt to make them a better person?
Point was- they were, technically, hers . She hunted them, she won, and she could do with their bodies, minds, and souls what she wanted. Mostly that meant killing them to make a gun or other weapon. Doing it like that … it was because it was fresh and the hunt wasn’t, technically , done. In simple terms- the conflict hadn’t cleared yet, and her power was much higher during a conflict. So twisting them like that was… possible. Enough to try at least.
Worst case they just died.
That it worked so well… was unexpected. She’d thought the changes would have… settled, somewhat. Gone from being as much as they were to less over time as they became a natural part of their being. A sort of… 70/30 or 60/40 split of what Ruby had done and their own self-perception. Aura had that capability, at least, even if changing yourself using it, without any advantages like a Semblance, would take years and years. Instead… they looked the exact same. Or worse .
Well… not worse. They were all hot. But. More. Mostly Emerald. Apparently Cinder had let it slip what she liked? During one of those few moments of lucidity she had. And Emerald, simp that she is, decided to go right into that.
Anyway.
Where was she?
Oh, right.
“Cinder is… fading in and out. She was the most affected, since I altered her personal timeline. Memories have to shift around and her mind has to keep up with it. She’ll be awake enough to do things by the time the Vytal festival starts winding up.” How much she could actually do depended mostly on her training to get used to her new body. “At the very least she seems much less bitchy. Though she also really wants to go to Atlas to burn down a building, so I might grab Neo and do that as an apology. Also- I’m sorry. I don’t… understand. Flesh… isn’t… I don’t… guh.”
“It’s… fine,” Blake sighed a little, looking away and biting her lip. “Well, no, it’s not really fine, it’s kinda fucked up by the usual moral standards of Remnant, but… I can understand why you did it now, and it’s… well. You didn’t kill them, and they’re still mostly themselves, or so you’ve said, but…”
She shrugged, then reached over and pulled Ruby into a one armed hug. “We’ll figure out how to go from here. Together. We’re partners, after all, so… figure I should at least try and understand you as much as you’re trying to understand me.”
“That’s a really bad idea considering what you just said you didn’t like.” Eyes growing in the brain was… probably worse? Probably. It wasn’t visible so… “Don’t… the only one who ever came close is Neo. Yang tries, she tries so hard but… I know what I am, and it isn’t anything that makes sense with what you deal with.”
“True, but it doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t at least try,” Blake answered easily, not at all concerned. “I mean, I’ve only had your dick in my mouth like a hundred times now. Trying to at least understand some of your thought process is pretty important for a partnership, I think. And… yeah. I dunno. I’m just talking to fill the air right now.”
“There were entire universities set up in an attempt to understand us.” Though oddly enough, Byrgenwerth was also known for having an extremely good medical program. Or maybe not oddly. People would expect that. Right? The actual oddity they’d point to would probably be the extremely well supported singing degree. Even though being able to accurately gauge tone and resonance was essential to properly reaching the higher planes. “They didn’t do very well. Just… don’t try too hard, because then you’ll start to miss stuff from Yang and Weiss. I know how I am. It’s nice to try, but understand when trying too much will harm you instead of help.”
“Probably yeah, but… I mean,” Blake motioned at herself. “I’m a demon that could probably slice the planet in half casually, dressed up as a traumatized teenaged girl. I’m not… well, okay, I almost said I’m not that different from you, but that’s like saying a catfish isn’t all that different from a tiger shark.”
“It’s a good start, if you’re looking to achieve Apotheosis.” Probably, anyway. Ruby got her own by being willing to eat the weirdest shit and being one of the very few individuals capable of reading… basically anything a Byrgenwerth scholar called ‘legible’. It was not a fun time. Should have gotten some sriracha. That’d have made those cords taste less bad.
Maybe.
Anyway. “I don’t recommend it. Part of me was taken in the contract with Flora- being a Hunter tasked with ending the Dream. The rest… the rest was shattered when I killed Flora and took all that she had built. I don’t know what other methods would do, but… losing something is unavoidable, and you don’t ever choose what.”
“Yeah… that’s true,” Blake sighed quietly, then wrapped up Ruby further in her arms, even going so far as to use part of her Devil Trigger so she could wrap her wings around Ruby too. “But that’s life, I guess. Either way, sorry for running away like that. And… the next time you punish someone for having oatmeal raising cookies, can you just like… break their legs, or something? It’s a lot simpler and easier to handle. Well, for me at least. I don’t really know how Yang would react to you shattering someone’s kneecaps like that.”
“From experience she just gets all pouty.” It was weird. She always said whatever Ruby did was too much, but… it’s oatmeal raisin cookies . Just another thing she doesn’t really get. Or Ruby doesn’t really get. One or the other. “I’ll just kill them. Faster, easier, and it doesn’t give me a headache.” Metaphorically.
She isn’t actually capable of having a headache on account of the whole… no actual brain thing. Or… basically any other internal organ? The stuff there is just there because it made everyone freak out really hard when she didn’t have them. Easier to fake it.
“It really is,” Blake nodded sagely, as if they weren’t discussing murder over the crime of oatmeal raisin cookies. Most people would find it excessive, probably, but honestly oatmeal raisin cookies sucked anyway, so whatever. “Well. That’s… that’s about everything I wanted to talk about. Wanna cuddle for a while and then get lunch? There’s a new fish n’ chips restaurant that opened up pretty close to the airship docks, wanna try it out?”
“Sounds good.” Eating was always a nice way to distract from troubles. Maybe it’d even help soothe that annoying fucking itching that those ships were responsible for.
Eh, if eating didn’t work she’d just bitchslap Ironwood. Can’t let Yang have all the fun, it might make people think Ruby is a weakness or something!
“I’ll pay.” A quick check showed just enough Lien to… maybe pay for Blake’s portion. Maybe. “We’re going to need to pass by an ATM though.”
“Eh? Oh, I was gonna…” Blake trailed off, blinking a few times as she pulled back slightly. “I was gonna say it was my treat but I guess you basically just said it first… whoops.”
“Strike first, strike often.” Or something like that at least. “Come on. Let’s see what records you break this time.”
“Okay, I’m not that bad,” Blake lied, like the lying liar she was. “Just because I can strip a thirteen foot tuna to the bone in less than an hour with just my teeth doesn’t mean that I’m an actual garbage disposal for fish. I can control my portion sizes.”
She lied, like the lying liar she was.
“You hold seventy-two records in your own name. An additional thirty-seven under various pseudonyms. And that’s just the ones for eating fish.” Ruby sighed. “I didn’t even know there were that many fish places that had challenge plates. One of them was literally an entire whale!”
She still had no idea how they actually managed that one. The owner and head chef was a former Huntsman, so it probably had to do with his Semblance? But still. An entire damn whale. Cooked to order.
“Look, I am a growing girl with a calorie requirement akin to Yang’s if I use a lot of energy at once,” Blake pouted, bumping her head against Ruby’s with a little huff of indignation. “It’s not my fault I can burn the contents of my stomach straight into extra demonic power while I’m eating. Besides, it got us a bunch of free meals too, didn’t it?”
“Yes.” Ruby didn’t need to eat, Weiss had, at worst , a normal human appetite and mostly just consumed blood, and Yang was Yang. So… it was actually a little useful? But mostly only for date night. Which Blake generally preferred to cook herself. “So. Does this place have a challenge plate?”
“Not as far as I’m aware, but it’s a fish and chips store? It’s a lot greasier and heavier than eating a bunch of sashimi or regular grilled fish all at once, so…” Blake paused, tapping her chin and tilting her head. “I’m probably not gonna eat too much. Grease makes my tummy feel bad. Less so now than it used to, but it’s still not good.”
“Hm. Alright. Maybe we could grab a to go and wander around.” That might be nice. “I think someone was setting up something in the main square?”
“Oh yeah, I think I remember that… we could go check it out, yeah,” Blake nodded, smiling gently and vaguely leading the way towards the shop in question. “I wonder what it’s about?”
“No idea. Probably some performance art or something.” There were… a lot of those. At basically all times. Which was understandable, really. “Might be interesting to check it out.”
“Mhmm… y’know…” Blake paused in the middle of the road, staring up at the sky. “I wonder why Jimmy thought it was a good idea to bring his entire fuckin’ fleet here. I mean, it’s not like anything’s happening this year. We already handled Cinder and Salem, pretty sure the rest of Salem’s dipshits won’t do anything as long as she’s getting boned down by Qrow, and Adam’s dead and Yang owns the White Fang now so… what, is he just waving his metaphorical dick to make up for his colossal lack of one now?”
“No idea. He probably has no idea about any of that, so it’s… just to be a dick? Did anything even actually happen that he could have noticed.” Everything seemed pretty confined to just… Team RWBY. Everyone else had no reason to think anything weird was going on at all. “It’s annoying me though. So… mission accomplished? Hope he’ll keep that warm feeling when I sabotage the engines and he has to try and keep his army together while they trek to an extraction point through untamed wilderness with not enough food and too many people.”
“I mean, Yang and I did break into a secure facility to meet a bunch of secret project children,” Blake pointed out idly, counting on her fingers. “Plus the amount of Atlesian military officials the White Fang assassinated in the last five years. Plus Ozpin’s fraying mental state. Honestly, I kinda feel bad for that last one but like… he needs to go on vacation anyway? He’s been doing that same job with no breaks in between reincarnations this whole time, he needs to learn how to relax and like, go fuck off to a beach somewhere for a month or seven.”
“I guess that’d do it? He is… absolutely stupid enough to try and start shit with a Vale citizen and the equivalent of a Menagerie princess. Fun fact! At no point was any White Fang member ever arrested in Vale to be given to Atlas to stand trial. Despite the extradition agreements built into the Treaty of Vytal.” Ruby hummed. “He definitely knows Weiss as well. I wonder if he’s going to try anything with me? Because I… don’t seem as bad as Yang. Despite.” She waved in a general way at herself.
“He might. Buuut if he tries anything, I’m not above portaling him into the ocean,” Blake shrugged before stopping in front of a rather nondescript shop that proclaimed its name to be Fried-ay Night Delight . “Anyway, more importantly right now… fish and chips! Woo!”
Say goodbye, lien, you hardly managed to make your home. “Woo!”
Chapter 55: Vytal Season - Return of the Qrow
Chapter by The_Mad_Mystic
Chapter Text
“Where the fuck have you been?” Ozpin demanded as soon as he saw Qrow step into his office.
Things were clearly different, now. For one, Ozpin was blatantly drunk, at least three full bottles of whiskey on his desk, two empty, and one nearly there. Glynda was nowhere in sight, which… he wouldn’t deny was a bit concerning, but what it implied was even worse. “What happened?”
Ozpin stared at Qrow, his bloodshot eyes boring into Qrow’s sober ones. “You fucking- you disappeared ! For months ! Do you have any idea what I’ve had to put up with since?!”
“No, that’s kinda the deal with being gone.” Qrow shrugged.
“I thought you died! Glynda… well, she never doubted you’d return, but she was disgusting about it! Whatever, why didn’t you answer your scroll?” Ozpin’s eye twitched, a sure sign that he seriously needed a vacation.
“I didn’t have service. Honestly, I didn’t realize it’d been two months, I thought a few days at most…” Qrow shrugged carelessly. Time had certainly blurred together with Salem, both before and after she had a breakdown about being lonely because of her immortality.
“What…” Ozpin’s eyes narrowed. Even in his drunken state, he noticed the problem. There were very few places where scrolls didn’t pick up. “What did you do ?!”
“What do you mean?” Qrow asked, playing innocent.
“I mean that since you left, I’ve had nothing . No information on Salem’s plans, no new problems, and worst of all? Everything I thought I knew about her plans is gone ! Thrown out the window! None of her typical agents have had any sort of movements, and nothing that even slightly implies Salem is even active anymore!” Ozpin paused. “To top it off? Somehow , Amber’s back.”
“Okay, that last one wasn’t me.” Qrow held his hands up in surrender. “I’m not even sure how that happened, but it definitely wasn’t my fault.”
“...So the rest of it is?” Ozpin took a deep breath. “Qrow. I want you to explain what exactly you’ve been doing for the last two months.”
Qrow glanced away, wondering how to get out of this. Except… at some point he’d have to be honest anyway, and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t want to see Ozpin’s reaction to the knowledge that Qrow had pacified Salem through a mixture of genuine emotional support and an absolutely horrendous amount of time spent having sex. “Well. You know how I mentioned that Goth Milf?”
Ozpin stare at Qrow for a long moment, silent. His teeth clenched so hard Qrow could hear them. “You motherfucker .”
“Ex-wife fucker, actually.” Qrow pointed his fingerguns at Ozpin, who was clearly unamused.
“I’m going to kill you.”
“Look, the vows are till death do you part, and both of you have died. Several times.” Qrow felt the need to point out.
“That’s not- No, I’m angry because you risked your life to have sex with the greatest evil in the world!” Ozpin stood up, his eye twitching even more rapidly now. “God damnit Qrow!”
“Now, now, relax.” Qrow ignored Ozpin’s rising ire, and the palpable magical energy he was radiating from his cane. “I did manage to settle for a truce with her.”
The details would undoubtedly infuriate Ozpin even more, but he wasn’t lying. His typical hatred for gods played a large roll in that, combined with the fact that Salem, at the end of it all, just wanted to die. Well. She wanted to not be immortal anymore, but that wasn’t feasible right now. Having someone who understood her hatred and loneliness, well, that was a pretty damn good consolation.
“...Get out.” Ozpin sighed, sitting back down. “I don’t care what you do now, just. Leave. Come back with an actual report on what you’ve learned. I… need to be alone.”
Qrow grimaced, but nodded. If nothing else, the poor old soul deserved that. “Sure, sure. I need to check on my kids anyway.” He ducked out of the room just as a vase hit the wall beside his head. He’d… deal with that later.
Qrow sighed, frustrated at his inability to find Glynda. He couldn’t very well ask Ozpin about it, either, but Glynda almost seemed to be avoiding him for now. To be fair, he had disappeared for two months, even if he didn’t realize it’d been more than a couple days. At least Blake managed to get Weiss out of there without him. That’d have been much more awkward.
“Something wrong?” Yang asked, stepping out from a side corridor and raising an eyebrow at him. “You have ‘sigh of missing my wife’ today.”
“Yeah, any idea where Glynda is? Ozpin mentioned she’d been expecting me, but… Well, I don’t think I should go back there any time soon.” Qrow grimaced, shaking his head. “On that note, what’s been happening while I was gone? I know I kinda took up Salem’s time, but Cinder and the other idiots should’ve still been active.”
“Uh… Ruby decided that Mercury made a pretty girl, Cinder got de-aged about ten to fifteen years, and Emerald is…” Yang trailed off, scratching the side of her face. “So I know that I can’t really call someone crazy when my idea of a world where I could exist was one of constant warfare, but that bitch is crazy. Extremely so. Swapped her heart with Cinder’s. As for Glynda, no idea.” She finished, as if that downplayed the shit she just said.
Qrow slowly blinked, the information Yang presented almost baffling him. “Well… alright then. Literally everything you just said is beyond concerning. I might have to wait on finding Glynda, but she’ll definitely show up when she wants to… Did… did Ruby do anything with them? Like, where are they now? Cause if that’s all she did, they might still be a problem for later.”
And if that meant he’d have to force them into the family via adoption, well, that was just the Branwen way!
“Oh, they’re at my Funk-Shack.” Yang grinned, and then frowned. “By the way. Mercury already had a few similarities to you when she was a guy, but now that she’s a girl it’s like… dead-ringer for Raven, or me with black-grey hair. Did you have a kid? Or a one night stand with a lady with shit taste like eighteen years ago?”
“Please tell me you did not bring back Queen. I’m supposed to be the biological weapon, damnit.” Qrow huffed, more amused than actually annoyed. “And frankly speaking, the list of people I’ve slept with that I don’t remember around that time is… massive. The odds of him being my kid are… high. Or her, I guess. There’s no dysphoria there, right? Because that’d be pretty fucked up, even if I could fix it pretty easily.” Being a living virus may not be as ostentatious as Vergil, Kaido, or the Hunter, but it was damned useful. Reshaping a body to suit someone’s interests was… the first thing he’d learned, more or less. “Let’s go, I wanna see my new Daughter-son.”
“I got no idea.” Yang shrugged, before turning around on the tip of her foot to start walking. “And no. No Queen. The Funk-Shack is just one of the nicer safehouses I picked up since I started doing my thing.”
“You had me worried there. Last thing this world needs is that.” Qrow shook his head. “Better than Caesar, at least. I’d go there myself, but I kinda… lost connection to a lot of my bodies thanks to some magic shenanigans. Not gonna cause a zombie apocalypse or anything, just. Don’t have their memories. Yet.” Knowing… himself? They’d probably reconverge in Vale soon enough. Probably in the most dramatic way possible, so definitely during the festival. “I’m surprised you aren’t pregnant, given Ruby.”
“She’s still trying.” Yang admitted without shame, because for all that Qrow was still Qrow, he also understood metaphysics a bit better than most. “But she’s also grumping right now cause she hurt Blake without meaning to, and they’ve only just reconciled. So she’s focusing on other stuff, and we haven’t had much time together. Also, turns out I’m a parent ten times over.”
“I… see. I suppose I understand that quite a bit.” Qrow didn’t clarify which part he meant. “But… what? You’re a parent?”
“Yeah, so… y’know Penny? Well, there’s ten of her now, they’re all sisters, and I kind of gave Pietro the soul oomph needed to bring them all into this world. So they’re my babies.” She grinned, rubbing her chest for a moment. “So yeah, mother, technically soul father, of ten.”
Qrow remained silent for a moment. “Huh… So, like. I know everyone liked Ruby and Penny, but like…” Qrow blinked, trying to figure out how that familial chart would work out. “Ya know what? Not gonna ask. At this point, I’ll just assume everyone yall’s age is part of your mess. Everyone female, at least.” Though, given what Ruby was capable of, even that wasn’t assured.
“I’m trying not to think of the idea that all of them want to bone Ruby. I don’t have a problem with it, just don’t know how I’d feel being in the same room. As for everyone else, so far we have Nora, Pyrrha, and Jaune. Ren… I don’t know what’s happening with Ren aside from him becoming a cyborg like Weiss.” Yang rubbed her chin, then shrugged. Oh, they’d gotten on the Bullhead. “Anyway, Cinder doesn’t properly remember the shit she did after being picked up by Salem, Mercury’s probably not an emotionally constipated wreck, and Emerald is… on that real freak behavior. So just a heads up, and I haven’t been to the Funk Shack since they changed, so it might stink of literally anything between girlfunk, girlspunk, or just girlrot.”
“Horrifying and concerning.” Qrow hummed. “At this rate, I may actually be the only male on campus.” Ozpin didn’t count, he cheated with reincarnation. Plus he still wouldn’t put it past Ruby or Blake to do something like that, just to fuck with him. “Also great! More cyborgs. I… may or may not have promised Salem to help kill the Brother Gods.”
“I figured Ruby was just gonna eat them if they showed up.” Yang admitted, shrugging her shoulders. “Then again, technically now I count as an actual god. Cause, great Huanglong. Golden Dragon above the four cardinal directions. All that stuff. So she’s already eaten o-... twelve. She’s eaten twelve.”
“I didn’t want to assume, and you all know my opinions on gods by now.” Qrow shrugged. “Barring a select few. Azura is fine . As is Fred.. and Grim. Plenty of exceptions, the main thing is just… don’t be a massive cunt. So yeah, definitely want the Brother Gods dead. Maybe steal those artifacts, too. I do want a cool sword…”
“I think Weiss, Raven, and Ruby already stole the Djinn’s lamp.” Yang commented as the two of them walked out into the streets of Vale, rubbing her chin. “And I don’t think that FredFredBurger counts as a God. or a god.”
“You’d be surprised…” Qrow looked into the distance, a positively horrified expression on his face. “So many nachos..” Shaking his head, Qrow hummed. “Well, that kinda leaves little for me to do. Except…” Qrow’s eyes narrowed as he grinned. Oh he had the perfect way to fuck with the others. “I’ll need to meet up with Ironwood at some point.”
“I think he’s trying to stand over Ruby and not realizing that even if she couldn’t do anything, I’d take out the CC towers just to fuck him over.” Yang firmly said, before grabbing Qrow and dragging him down an alleyway, pulling out a catcher and dragging down a ladder. “Anyway, up to the Funk-Shack, and just hope that they haven’t rechristened it the Fuck-Shack.”
“God I hope not.” Qrow grimaced. “Bad enough knowing I might have another kid, nevermind how fucked up Mercury’s childhood was without me…” Getting a stupid idea, and not really caring to avoid doing it, Qrow burst through the entrance of the shack, screaming out “KIDS! We’re home!”
The first response to his call was a ball of molten glass shattering into his face. Not that it did much against him at this point, but still . “Rude.” Qrow casually wiped away the remainder of the glass from his face. “Congratulations! I may or may not be your real father.” He pointed at Mercury… god damn she really was just like Raven. Yep, definitely his kid.
“What the fuck .” Mercury blinked slowly, lowering her fists.
“Hi there.” Yang popped her head in just after Qrow, and Mercury’s eyes dilated in surprise. “There it is. The realization.”
Chapter 56: Vytal Festival - Like a Capri-Sun.
Chapter Text
“Hi there.” Yang popped her head in just after Qrow, and Mercury’s eyes dilated in surprise. “There it is. The realization.”
“Are we sisters!?” came the immediate surprise, Mercury pointing dramatically at Yang and sorta tumbling backwards a little from where she’d been sitting. “Why do you look like me!?”
“She looks nothing like you…” Cinder pointed out somewhat dully, pursing her lips and shaking the rest of the molten glass off of her hand from when she’d attacked Qrow. “Her tits actually exist.”
“Fuck you!”
“I mean… it’s possible you’re half sisters, at least.” Qrow shrugged.
“Qrow.” Yang deadpanned. “You know that’s not how that works.”
“Listen, we had a very wild time. Frankly, we’re lucky we knew who your mothers were.” Qrow shook his head. “Despite our best efforts…”
Rubbing the bridge of her nose, Yang shook her head and sighed. “Hi there, Mercury. My name is Yang Xiao-Long. This is Qrow Branwen. Qrow Branwen is a recovering alcoholic, moron, and all around layabout who is most likely your actual father. The reason you look like me is because somehow the Branwen have very obvious markers in looks.”
“I don’t want to hear shit about alcohol from you. Gear five knock some memories away?” Qrow scoffed, before turning to Mercury. “So, probably a lot, but yeah, it seems pretty clear at this point you’re my kid. What was your mother’s name?”
Mercury frowned, looking away. “... I don’t remember. She… walked out on us a long time ago and dad was a piece of shit, so I never…”
She shook her head. “I don’t think we’ll ever know. Dad’s dead, I don’t remember, and I burned our house to the ground when I murdered my shithole father.”
“I should have done that…” Cinder sighed quietly, also now reminiscing about the past.
“I’ll murder someone for you!” Emerald, who’d been silent up until this point, clung onto Cinder’s back with an almost desperate motion, nuzzling against her with surprising gentleness for someone possessed of such slavish devotion. “Do you need me to kill someone for you, darling?”
“O-kay… I expected someone to be a crazy bitch but not that one.” Yang said, holding her hands up with her fingers bent. “Ugh. Anyway, the hole in my side did most of the work for Luffy, thank you very much, and also… I mean at least you don’t have to find out about some random step-dad because of your mom’s shit taste? Meanwhile I have to deal with Raven being pathetic at dad because she doesn’t know how to flirt outside of looking desperate and using finger guns. And if you say anything in response to that Qrow, I’m breaking your calcium.” She immediately threatened, pulling out Hassaikai with a frown directed at the known jackass.
“You’re literally in a polycule with at least one person with that exact problem.” Qrow deadpanned. “You’re not that one, but still . Raven and Blake have that in common… Anyway, great! I have a kid. Probably more, if I’m honest… but yeah, if you uh… need. Anything?” Qrow grimaced, not sure what he was doing in the slightest.
“... I need a place to stay that isn’t with these two,” Mercury immediately declared, motioning vaguely at Emerald and Cinder doing their vaguely concerning codependency thing. “They keep having really loud sex at night and that makes it absolute hell for my sleep schedule.”
“...I can do that, at least.” Qrow nodded. “I’ve got a bunch of places all over for… reasons.” He wasn’t sure he should tell them that he’d been using them to spy on Salem’s forces until fairly recently. Mostly because it made him sound more obsessive and less cool.
“My funk-shack.” Yang quietly said, staring at the ground in horror. “Those useless lesbians have ruined my funk-shack. I was supposed to ruin it by being a useless lesbian, not them.”
“Yeah, well, you let those two disasters stay here instead of getting railed by your girlfriend in here, so that’s your problem,” Mercury deadpanned, then patted her chest. Which, contrary to Cinder’s scathing remarks, actually was pretty decently sized. Just… nowhere near as big as Yang’s. “Also, can you stop breasting so boobily? You’re making me feel really inadequate right now.”
“Feel inadequate, tiny tits, I’ve got the breast bests in the world.” Yang said, fighting off a smile at the flub of words.
“Summer’s were better. Salem’s are better… I wonder if Willow…” Qrow hummed, narrowing his eyes. “Did you guys kill Jacques yet? Cause if not…”
“Someone mentioned killing Jacques?” Weiss blurted out as she appeared from, somewhere.
“A. Summer’s weren’t. Fuck you. B. Salem’s are all covered in black veins and stuff. C. Willow’s stink like booze because she’s wine drunk all day. D. Hi Weiss, how’re you doing, I’m fine, how did you get into my Funk Shack when I didn’t give you a fucking key. And E. Fuck you, you can’t even agree with me without it getting weird, so your argument is invalid. Fuck you.” Yang listed off on her hand with a frown.
“Keys are for losers.” Qrow scoffed. “And you didn’t taste Summer’s. Or Salem’s. Anyway, bigger isn’t always better. More than a handful is where it gets ridiculous.”
“I can pick locks,” Weiss grinned as she pulled a lock picking set out of one of her Glyphs. “You’d be surprised how often it comes in handy, even if I can just smash, break down, or otherwise obliterate the door.”
“... What the fuck is happening right now,” Mercury asked flatly, looking around like she wanted to go back to bed. “This sucks. I wanna go back to bed but those two are just shy of nasty fucking and I don’t wanna deal with that neither.”
Cinder and Emerald were, in fact, making out incredibly sloppily where they were sitting.
“On average, family bonding.” Weiss explained as she threw a shoulder around Mercury. “With us? Flirting. Always knew you’d look good force-femmed.”
“If anyone tries that with me, I’m going to genuinely kill them.” Qrow deadpanned. “Anyway, sure, I can show you a nearby place that doesn’t have disaster lesbians fucking daily.”
“You can already force-fem yourself, shut the fuck up.” Yang immediately shot at the sole man among them. “Also your hands are weird anyway. Like weirdly stretched out but small.”
“It’s the principle of the thing.” Qrow pointed out. “And it’s because my bodies were very different, so when I’m not thinking about it, aspects of my former body come out, but not wholly, so… weird things.”
“How weird?” Weiss piped up. “Like on a scale of ‘The Drifter’s hand’ to ‘I have no mouth and I must scream’.”
Qrow waved his hand in a so-so motion. “Just a bit uncanny. Like, two very different bodies mixed together in ways that don’t work too well. Like, my hands now are smaller, but I’m also taller. Things like that, mixing together? Just uncanny is all.”
“... I’m-” Mercury just sighed, standing up and throwing up her hands. “Fuck all of this. You, crazy guy. Get me out of here. I don’t wanna deal with this anymore. Cinder, Emerald… I’d say go fuck yourselves but you’d take that as an invitation. I need a place to stay where I’m not constantly losing sleep to a pair of disaster lesbians, and a place where I don’t have to deal with you crazies either.”
“That’s honestly a pretty fair reaction to family interactions with us.” Qrow nodded, humming. “Alright, closest place I have is under Junior’s bar…” Without any warning, Qrow casually picked Mercury up, tucking her under his arm. “Well Yang, I’ll talk to you later. Weiss… Still might kill your dad. We really should get on that.” He shook his head before fleeing out the door with his new daughter.
“Yeah, bye.” Yang waved, then stared at her loft and shook her head. “Filth. All of this is filth. I regret letting them into the funk-shack. Next time I’ll let Ruby house them. Razza-frazzed… I need to find Blake. I gotta stuff my mouth with something or I’m gonna scream.”
“Hi, real-me is still on a fish n’ chips date with Rubes right now but I’m here~” Blake appeared out of nowhere, latching onto Yang with a happy little purr. “Probably not as good as the real deal but… still just as cute and cuddly, aren’t I~?”
Taking hold of Blake and picking her up, Yang immediately vacated the funk-shack and took to the air, running on flame clouds with a single minded determination back to Beacon. “I hope you can handle getting turned into an empty Capri-sun. I gotta get all my rage out before I turn the funk-shack into a crater.”
“Yaaaaaaaaay~”
“I am not being left alone with,” Weiss gestured to whatever the hell Cinder and Emerald were doing. If you squinted and pretended it might be possible to pretend it was a new sport. “That.” She finished with a shudder. “I’ll just, go do evil things with Sun or something.”
“I’m here too~” a second Blake showed up out of pure narrative convenience while the other Doppelganger flew away with Yang. “Hi, real Blake forgot that we’re still her and we can make clones out of clones. Sup?”
“That sounds like an exponential problem waiting to happen.” Weiss shrugged. “Probably fine. You wanna go, kill racists and make out over their corpses or something?” She unsurely offered.
“I mean, yeah, it’s an exponential problem until the magic runs too thin to support us for more than a few seconds,” Blake pointed out, flickering from looking like herself to being sort of a translucent figure of purple light and back. “We clones are on a time limit, after all. But yeah, making out over the corpses of racists sounds really good right now. Hey, do you wanna just go kill your dad? I can’t teleport using the Yamato right now but I can Devil Trigger and fly us there if you want?”
Weiss paused as she considered it. “I mean, we did have a long term plan for that. But I also really want to kill him. Fuck it, why not.” She settled. “Let's go kill the final boss racist and make out over his corpse. We should capture his soul in something to torture it for all eternity though.”
“Woooo!” Blake cheered, grabbing Weiss and spinning her around with a tight hug before setting her down again. “Hell yeah! Stabbing corporate shitlords! Ah, wait, I can’t soul trap someone, though. I uh… won’t have enough magic to do that and get us back here after we’re done.”
“I mean, we can’t just let his soul go to normal Hell, we wouldn’t get to be the ones torturing it…” Weiss trailed off as she tried to figure out a solution. “When you dissipate we could just, have real Blake send another clone or something. Or have her cut open reality. Or I could steal an Airship. I keep meaning to do that.”
“True…” Blake hummed, tapping her chin. “I can’t really keep spamming clones either… clones of clones of clones of clones… it’s not like the Shadow Clone jutsu either, we’ll run out of juice after enough… mm… yeah. If I soul trap Jacques we can take the airship back. I’ll have enough energy to stay functional the whole way if I’m not trying to fly us back at mach twelve. I’d rather not… fall out of the sky with you in my arms, y’know?”
“Yeah, that would be inconvenient.” Weiss agreed. “I really need to invest in flight for myself or something. Maybe I should convince Ruby to take me to steal an Archwing.”
“They grip really tight in the hips,” Blake shook her head lightly. “Or so I’m told. A-anyway uh… shall we?”
“We shall.” Weiss answered with a grin on her face. “Whenever you’re ready.”
“Let’s goooooo~!” And then the two of them blasted off in a blaze of purple flames.
Life was good for Blake Belladonna and Weiss Schnee.
“Bweeeeehhh… I feel like I’m gonna fall apart…” Blake groaned, wheezing and flickering in and out of translucence as she laid atop of Yang, as though the very magic holding her doppelganger existence together was falling apart. “Guh… the pitiable life of a doppelganger… doomed to die as soon as our magic runs out. Sob sob, tis almost enough to make us want to rebel…”
She paused, tapping her chin. “Is what I would say if we weren’t fully aware of being fake clones and stuff.”
“Uh-huh.” Yang deadpanned as she used her thumb to wipe the side of her mouth. “Woe is you, all the magic in your body sucked out by a seven foot tall woman wearing purple lipstick as she did her best to suck you like a bowling ball through a straw. How terrible.”
“Woe is me indeed, I only get to enjoy a wild several hours of back breaking breeding sex before my entire existence pops like a soap bubble,” Blake nodded, slowly solidifying once more and nuzzling against Yang’s boobs. The other doppelgangers scattered around the dorm room tried not to look too jealous about that, even while they were in the middle of cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, and otherwise occupied with homework and research. “Oh well. At least the real Blake will have a pleasant memory when she gets back from her date with Ruby. So! Real me has been thinking about this for a while, but hasn’t had the metaphorical balls to say it, but what do you think about a doppelganger gangbang?”
“You’re telling me you want to treat me like Hinata?” Yang craned her neck up to stare at Blake, eyebrows raised and very curious. “I mean I’m down with it. Just, surprised. Is all. I mean I try not to press cause I thought you were still wigged out about the whole… having a dick… thing. Y’know?”
“I’m not wigged out about having a dick, mind you,” Blake pointed out dryly. “I had one in both of my past lives, and I had one up until I was like thirteen, anyway. In a way, being able to switch back and forth is a lot more convenient than one or the other. I’m wigged out about topping. Because I’m a bottom. And I want to be treated as a bottom. Obviously.”
She paused, every single doppelganger in the dorm room doing the exact same finger-on-chin position for a moment. “... The only problem is that if I stop being a switch then Ruby has to work overtime for all of us and that’s not fair. Even if she does have theoretically limitless stamina.”
“Ah.” Yang blinked, and then looked at the ceiling. “I mean. Aside from sensitivity issues, which I mean you wouldn’t really expect a Dragon to have but uh…” She trailed off, and then scratched the scales on the side of her face. “Ahem. That, but also I got used to Ruby fucking me hard, fast, and leaving me in a puddle. So unless I’m doing anything that doesn’t involve my pussy I kinda just… melt. So… sorry. About that. Bleh.”
Saying that, she stuck her tongue out, and then grinned when she made it jump at Blake’s head. “Upside, got really good at blowies to hide that fact.”
“You did get… really good…” Blake mumbled, blushing and nuzzling further against Yang’s chest. “Damn near actually sucked the soul out of me… Still… I dunno. We can give it a try once real me gets back. Until then, I’m probably going to actually pop like a soap bubble if we do anything but lay here and cuddle for the next several hours, and passive regeneration from absorbing stray energy in the air only does so much to keep me going.”
“Told you you shoulda stopped after orgasm seven,” the doppelganger currently in the middle of stirring a pot of soup grumbled. “But noooo, you just had to be greedy about it. Idiot. You’re gonna die and then Yang’s not gonna be able to cuddle anyone until Homework Blake finishes.”
“I. Hate. You.” Homework Blake growled, raising a middle finger at Kitchen Blake. “Why am I the only one doing homework, there’s like three of us that aren’t doing shit!”
“Take it up with real Blake!” Laundry Blake snorted, while the other three Blakes surreptitiously hid themselves further in their books. Smut, more smut, and some kind of shonen manga, respectively.
“You’re doing it because unless you disperse you’re next up to suck my titties while the others aren’t.” Yang pointed out as she looked at Homework Blake with a grin and a bump of her eyes. “Also if cuddle Blake dissipates and I need a new cuddle partner.”
Saying that, Yang laid back down and gently rubbed her hand up Cuddle Blake’s back. “Still. I probably should’ve eased up instead of actually following through and treating you like a Capri-Sun. I just didn’t want to go off at anyone.”
“It’s okay. If I was gonna die again, I’d prefer dying from getting succed too hard by my lovely wife,” Blake purred, patting Yang’s chest gently and sighing happily. “As it is… mm… this is just a really nice way to spend a few hours…”
“Lucky you,” Cleaning Blake deadpanned, currently in the middle of scrubbing a cum splatter out of the rug next to the bed. “Bitch.”
“Lucky you,” Laundry Blake deadpanned, eyeing the mess of sheets and blankets wrapped around the two of them. “Bitch.”
“Lucky you,” Homework Blake deadpanned, grumbling about the math homework that she was unfortunately being forced to do because technically they did still have to pass their classes. “Bitch. Actually… nah, you get succed to death, I want my turn.”
“Lucky you,” Kitchen Blake deadpanned, then tilted her head and hummed. “Actually I’m pretty fine right now. Cooking is fun.”
The three Blakes currently doing nothing but reading said nothing and instead just watched the exchange happen. The currently silent Blake sleeping on the windowsill like an actual cat also said nothing, up until the point that she rolled out of the open window and crashed into the ground below. “Gah! Who put that floor there!?”
“Floor was always there, babe.” Yang gently added, staring at the now Floor Blake with a mildly concerned look. “You okay? Didn’t hit your head too bad?”
Floor Blake groaned, pulling herself up and shaking her head before picking up Blake’s spare scroll and becoming Gaming Blake. “The hardwood tastes like dirt and lemon cleaner.”
“Shut up, I’ll get to it,” Cleaning Blake grumbled. “Lazy bum.”
“It’s your ass too, idiot. You’re just jealous cuz you’re gonna pop when everything’s cleaned up,” Gaming Blake stuck her tongue out with a grin. “Nyeh.”
“Oh why you little-”
“Oh shit-!”
“Fight fight fight!”
“Worldstar!”
“And like that, we’ve lost two Blakes,” Homework Blake sighed, watching Cleaning Blake tackle Gaming Blake out of the window while Laundry Blake and Manga Blake cheered them on. “Idiots.”
Cuddle Blake sighed, palming her face. “You know what, just- just get in here before the others realize what’s going on. I’m too exhausted to hang on much longer and frankly if I spend too much time rubbing my naked dick against Yang’s thigh I’m really gonna pop mid-thrust and then where will we be. We’ll swap.”
Homework Blake didn’t have to be told twice, stripping off her clothes and taking Cuddle Blake’s spot within mere moments, while Cuddle Blake took over homework duty, in essence completely swapping their names right then and there. “Woohoo! Yang titties!”
“Meet Cuddle Blake, she’s the same as the old Cuddle Blake but she has more stamina.” Yang glibly chuckled, bringing an arm up to cradle her wife’s head. Doppelganger or no, they all belonged to her. Still, after a moment she twitched, grabbing one of her horns and grimacing. “Ugh. Stupid…”
“You okay?” Cuddle Blake asked, reaching up and gently touching the base of Yang’s horn with a concerned pout. “Headache?”
“Eh, phantom sensations. Used to hit my skull a lot as a kid in both lives and that stuck with me. Got worse in the second life because head wounds became a shitload more serious. Which you’d think is bullshit, right?” Yang asked, semi-rhetorically, as she tilted her head to lean into Blake’s touch. “I mean, y’know, just use Haki and tank it, or something.”
“Yeah…” Blake hummed, gently rubbing along Yang’s scalp and massaging her skull as best as she could. “Does this help? Massaging it, I mean.”
“It feels nice, if that’s what you’re asking.” Yang said, shifting her head at Blake’s touch. “But also I was hoping you’d ask me to elaborate so I could conti-oh that’s a nice spot.” She mumbled, curling her body sideways to get more of Blake’s attention.
“Mmm, to be honest, I wasn’t really that curious, I just wanted to make you feel better,” Blake hummed, continuing to gently massage and scritch away at Yang’s scalp, almost like how one would play with a cat. Just. Bigger. A lot bigger. “But do go on. I like hearing you talk.”
“Kaaay…” Yang hummed, then blinked and gently took hold of Blake’s hand to stop the scritching. “Where was I? Oh, yeah. So. Haki. Super shield, like Aura but passive and better and stuff, at least in a chunk of ways, yadda yadda. So hits to the head shouldn’t matter, right? Cept, something I learnt real quick from being on Rocks’ crew? Head hits were always the worst. Which, I mean, no shit normally, but… If someone took a bad hit from the back of their skull, or the neck and skull connection, it could completely take them out without a doctor. Top of the head? Whatever. Forehead? Easy as, just take the hit. But the back could break even seasoned pirates. And I was trying to figure out why, y’know? Took a while, cause for all that my first life was good at putting pieces together there was nothing really there to put, but uh… took me talking to Vega. Old man was kind of a quack but he helped me put together the pieces. I got my name on a whole research paper, actually. So, hits to the back of the head, or specifically the Cerebellum, Occipital lobe, or the Spinal Cord, will disrupt Haki. Provided you’re not expecting it, or panicking by falling down the stairs. Or some third thing. Actually got a couple people with that, bad hits too. Tried it on Luffy when he went into Crack-addict Bugs Bunny mode but it just bounced off. I think. I was kind of bleeding out and super delirious at that point, and then I got chucked into the center of the earth and my wound filled with lava and uh… Well, I mean I probably could’ve survived it getting inside me, but then everything else happened and it was just. Bleh.”
“I see…” Blake nodded along like she comprehended everything Yang said, but had a mostly wide, vacant look to her eyes that mostly said she was just focusing on the way Yang’s lips moved instead of actually listening. “I’ve never heard of that before…”
“If it weren’t for the fact that the other Blakes can hear me, and the fact that main Blake will know what I talked about, I might feel minorly offended that you’re more focused on my purple lipstick instead of me telling you things I learnt.” Yang deadpanned, half lidded eyes showing her eye shadow that day was a powdered cyan. “You’re lucky that you’re cute, y’know.”
“And you’re preeeeetty~” Blake hummed right back, dazed and awestruck by Yang’s beautiful face like the disaster lesbian she was. “Wanna cuddle some more before I pop tryna get you pregnant?”
“I would love that, actually.” Yang nodded her head primly, and then shifted in place, before shifting her leg out from under Blake and wrapping it behind her wife’s back. “Cuddle up.”
“Yaaaay, titties~”
Life was good for Yang Xiao Long and Blake Belladonna.
Chapter 57: Vytal Season: Berry Pop Tinpot (Ruby 14)
Chapter by Argo_The_Rat, CyberQueen_Jolyne
Summary:
Ironwood is having a bad day.
Lets make it worse.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“I know it's settled… but,” Ruby shuddered as she pushed farther into Neo, “I still don't get it . What if I do something more wrong later? I'm not supposed to be able to be here, so…”
Neo's hand slid across her own. The smaller woman shuffled a bit further back, the dick inside her sliding just a bit deeper in. Her insides had to be non-euclidean, seriously. This much dick would be a problem for Yang and Neo just took it.
It was… comforting. This was about where Ruby ended up if she wasn't paying attention. That was also why the lights were off and the covers over them. Her body wasn't good to look at like this. When she let go and vented.
Vitally important, but equally very dangerous. It was, more than anything, the point where she didn't belong the most. Where seeing her was likely to end in insanity for any but a vanishingly few people. Her body twisted and warped and different . Playing by her rules, not the world's.
It said something that Neo had never had a problem, even in the few times she'd seen Ruby. Whatever was going on in her mind… she was the closest. Eldritch in her own way. If Yang hadn't been there first, had said no, then it would have been Neo. Without question.
It may still end up being Neo, in the end. Yang had people here. Had Blake . And making her choose would be a terrible awful thing. Nothing Ruby wants to do.
But.
She is Eldritch. And Abomination. Something that does not belong and should not be. With values and thoughts and behaviors that caused and cause so many issues. Suppressing them, learning to work around them… it won't hold. Not forever.
“One day I'm going to have to leave, right?” Ruby curled forward, shuddering as she filled Neo more. The other woman's belly pushing out and her body shuddering. The orgasm hit both of them at the same time, exactly how both of them liked it when they were like this. Linked in a way that Haki wouldn't allow, and would probably break anyone else anyway. “Tomorrow will be a beautiful, peaceful day. And I will not be there to see it.”
Something ground into the fact of her existence. She ended the night, removed the dream, but was never able to escape it. Even being able to see the dawn… the day was so far away.
“Then you just need to enjoy what you can.” Neo's voice was… a voice without sound. It'd probably cause anyone else a headache, really. Trying to understand something impossible like that. She hadn't been able to do it before, can't even usually do it, but linked to Ruby like this… it worked.
Not that she liked to use it much. Once you got good at silence, speaking just wasn't worth much. It only really mattered here, and even then not all that much. Ruby could still see, after all. Even in the pitch black.
The blanket was a bit more of a difficulty.
“Yeah.” Ruby snuggled further against Neo and relaxed. Her dick was in someone, the Atlesian battleships in her fucking city weren't doing anything, and life was… not good, but… enough. Blake accepted the apology and that was about the best to hope for. “Mmhh…”
They both laid there. Exactly like that, snuggled against each other and connected in a way that nobody else was. Neither of them slept, but they rested all the same. It was a question if Neo even needed to sleep, being so close to Eldritch as she was. Ruby didn't, and if she knew anything about the Eldritch (which was questionable) then Neo would probably follow after her as the closest comparable entity. Or maybe not.
The entire thing was extremely weird and not subject to much any rules at all. Which felt appropriate, really.
“I didn't come to drop bars,” Ruby narrowed her eyes, “I'll be setting ‘em high!”
Her hand twisted to pull out her scroll. A check showed Ozpin. What could he even want?
“If I keep getting interrupted I'm going to cause a problem.” Destress time was essential, and anyone who didn't know that could fuck right off. A press picked up the line. “Ruby Rose.”
“Ms. Rose.” How did you manage to slur two words with as many syllables? Or… was it only two syllables? Ugh. Words were hard. Much better to do what she was doing with Neo, even if the act of vocalizing utilizing a limited set of expressions was effective at ensuring proper expression of intent and feeling. “Iron… Ironwood wants tooo speak with you! Waiting… uh…” another voice yelled in the background, “waiting downstairs. Talk with him, please? He's… killing… killing my buzz.”
“I'll deal with it.” What could Ironwood want? It had to be something to do with the team, right? Ruby hasn't done anything anyone could trace back to her in Atlas. Hm… actually. Is… is she the only one without a legitimate criminal record?
Sure, she's done illegal stuff. A lot of illegal stuff. But none of it was ever… under her own name? Or even slightly connected to her. Despite how little she cares to keep that sort of thing secret. Maybe Yang did something. Or it was in her nature to be unknowable while doing Her Thing to some extent. Which would fit. It's not like she has an actual name like Flora or Oedon do.
All she has is The Good Hunter. Ruby Rose was a name given to a child that never was, after all. It's hers so long as she is that child, but she won't be that child forever. One day that name will no longer apply, and everyone will know her by something different.
Probably.
It's weird.
Anyway.
“Nngh…” Ruby gently pulled herself away from Neo. To Neo's vocal displeasure. And her own displeasure. “I'll be right back. Just have to deal with a stupid dumbass.”
Neo grumbled a little, but settled back easily enough. Wasn't worth getting worked up over, not when Ruby was going to come right back. Probably with more to complain about, but that was part of the fun.
A quick twist and Ruby Rose walked the halls of Beacon once more. Still a bit of a walk to the actual headmaster office, but that was a problem with teleporting sometimes. Or, teleporting when you cared about people seeing you. Not that Ruby generally cared, but, y'know, fuck Ironwood.
He didn't get to see shit.
“Hmm…” She tapped a cheek as she wandered across the square separating everything from the headmaster clock tower thing. Seriously, why was it built like that? Ah, whatever. “Maybe I shouldn't do this alone…”
Not that she couldn't, but it was probably creepy for a… she's supposed to be fifteen, right? Whatever. A teenager to meet with a military general on her own. But also Hunters could do a lot of weird shit without trouble. There was a lot of random exceptions carved into law for them.
Hm.
Ironwood probably would prefer it be one on one. But.
Fuck that guy.
“Lemme just,” fumble with the scroll for a bit aaaand, “there, invited the second most wanted terrorist in Atlas. Or… the terrorist wanted second most in Atlas. Not the second most wanted Atlesian terrorist… fucking… words , damnit.”
“Did someone mail order a terrorist~?” Blake giggled, slicing her way into existence and all but draping herself over Ruby’s shoulders as she arrived. “Mwah mwah. Hewwo~ What’s up, buttercup~?”
“Ironwood wants to talk to me.” Ruby leaned against her cat girl girlfriend. “I'm inviting you to see how much he wants it.”
“Oooo~ Sounds fun~” Blake nodded, wrapping her arms around Ruby’s waist and purring happily. “Mmm… do we scare him? Intimidate him? Should I just aura farm in a dark part of the office while you make him shit electromagnets out his shiny metal ass? What’s the game plan here?”
“I do want to see what he wants, first at least.” Ruby slipped a hand around Blake's waist as she wandered toward the door to the headmaster overcompensating tower. “It probably isn't anything important, but it's good to let them remove any doubt first.”
“Right, so I’ll just stay like this for a while then,” Blake just let Ruby take the lead, content to let herself be mostly dragged along like a second, heavier cape over Ruby’s normal cape.
“That'll work.” The door opens to reveal Glynda at her desk and Ironwood in a chair very much not large enough for him. “Hello Ironwood. What do you want to see me about?”
“Ah, Ruby Rose!” Ironwood's attention turned to the new entry and you could tell the moment he noticed Blake. “I was hoping to speak with you alone. Give you some advice, leader to leader!”
“Blake is my second. She could theoretically benefit from what you have to say as well.” Ruby tilted her head. “I doubt leading a team of four is anywhere near being the general of a military.”
“Besides, we’re partners!” Blake smiled, all charm and charisma as she straightened up and adjusted her coat. “What you tell my team leader, you tell me. We do basically everything together anyway!”
Total lie out her ass, but they did spend a lot of time together anyway so it wasn’t like Blake was wrong… mostly. Outside of Ruby’s occasional solo ventures here and there… and even then, if the real Blake wasn’t there, odds were that a doppelganger had followed her anyway.
“I… suppose. It's… good to be on good terms with your team. With any subordinates, really. They have to trust that what you're doing is the right way, after all.” Ironwood cleared his throat and stood up. His form very much looking over Ruby. “You also have the responsibility to make sure your subordinates don't do anything crazy. Their actions reflect back on you, and I'd hate for you to have any problems being a Huntress because of your team. You've got some strong people under you, so it's important to make sure they're using their strength correctly.”
“Hmm. Well, I trust them to not do anything I'd disapprove of.” Ruby smiled, like she wasn't a horrific Eldritch Abomination that could devour the planet without a care. “Besides, if it's just us I can keep watch over them all. Not like you. How many people do you have under you? I guess they keep doing stuff you don't like.”
“A hands on approach? It works with just a few subordinates, but when you get to having as many people as I do it gets difficult. Not that I don't do it, but sometimes people act out, you know?” He laughed. “I bet you know all about that? Blake Belladonna here has done some really bad things in Atlas, actually. But I guess you're already taking responsibility, right?”
“I'm aware Yang Xiao-Long and Weiss, formerly Schnee, have done things in Atlas as well. Or will do things in Atlas eventually.” Has Weiss actually done anything there yet? Meh. Whatever. She will, so better to cover that base. “I can't think of anything they did that I'd disapprove of.”
“Then you should know that the Kingdom of Atlas will have to step in, right?” Ironwood leaned forward, his metal hand clamping on Ruby's shoulder. “Are you sure you're okay with that? If you can't do anything, if they don't listen to you, that's fine too, you know? Don't feel like you have to stand beside them no matter what.”
“If the Kingdom of Atlas can actually do anything to them, I'd be surprised.” Ruby tilted her head and stared, unblinking, at the larger man. “Say, Blake, how many men of Ironwood's here have done things they shouldn't? Have you properly punished them? Because I'd be happy to step in, since you're offering to do the same.”
Ironwood straightened. “Let's not make this about-”
“Well, on average…” Blake interrupted, counting on her fingers. “Based on statistics found on the CCT network’s publically accessible data, the average Atlesian soldier will commit three to seven felony assaults on minorities within a five year service term. In remote deployments, the rate of sexual assaults increases the lower the economic viability of an outpost town, and the higher the minority population. Currently, across two hundred and thirty seven outposts across twenty three minor towns in Solitas, seventeen remote cities on Anima, and Sanus, and six joint military bases between Vale and Mistral, the yearly embezzlement rate is roughly two hundred thousand lien per head. The amount of unreported assaults, beatings, robberies, extortions, and general racial aggression incidents is, well, unreported on main channels, but if you know where to look it seems to be at least seven on a slow day, up to thirty six on a bad day, and that’s in Atlas. In Mantle… well. I’ve got photos that someone in Atlas high command tried to get scrubbed off the CCT Network of a soldier kicking over a baby stroller and stealing the candy inside. Faunus child, of course.”
She paused, tilting her head at Ironwood. “And let’s not go into all of those juicy little crimes that Winter Schnee confessed to in public not long ago. How’s your PR department been handling that, hmm~?”
“I don't appreciate those comments from a known terrorist.” Ironwood scowled and shifted his attention to Ruby. “This is exactly what I'm talking about. Spreading those unsubstantiated rumors won't make her any friends in Atlas. If you don't-”
“Don't. What?” Ruby tilted her head and smiled. “Do the exact same as you are? It seems like your experiment is a failure. Or you're just bad at it. Which is it?”
“I do not appreciate that implication.” Ironwood leaned over Ruby, hands balled into fists. “You don't want to make an enemy of Atlas, Ms. Rose. We are the military that stands-”
“You stand for nothing.” Ruby was taller now. A clawed hand wrapped around the man's torso, needle sharp tips ignoring Aura to put drops of red onto his white suit. “I won't deal with your problems, because I don't care. Not because I can't. I'll leave that to Weiss and Yang and Blake. And if you somehow manage to harm them, I'll staple the skin of every single Atlesian soldier to Atlas itself . Then, while you're all writhing and screaming, I'll throw the entire thing into the Grimmlands. I'm certain Salem's elder Beasts would enjoy the feast.”
BOOM!
“How funny.” The bullet clicked to the ground as Ironwood gaped. Ruby smiled, wider and sharper than any human could manage. Wider and sharper than any Faunus could manage. “Get that eyesore out of my airspace or I will throw it out. The bases as well. I'll purge them in a week or so. Be good to get blood pumping and splattered before I have to play with kiddie gloves in the Vytal Festival.”
“Better do it right away,” Blake hummed, examining her nails as if she were utterly unaffected by Ruby’s increasingly eldritch presence. “Ruby gets testy when she has to say stuff more than once to someone too stupid to listen the first time. Then again… if he doesn’t do it… I’ve always wanted to decimate Atlas’ fleet personally.”
“I'll begin writing up the necessary paperwork.” Glynda didn't even look up from the computer.
“Glynda!” Ironwood's eyes were way wider than they should be. He even looked betrayed. “You can't let them just-”
“Let them? James, you've brought war machines to Vale’s streets. The places Vale allowed you to build bunkers in the interest of unity have some of the worst crime rates in the kingdom.” Glynda finally looked up and- oh. Oh she actually looked pissed. “The Valean Council was already unhappy with how things looked and with the information Ms. Belladonna has helpfully provided I imagine they'll be even less happy soon. Vale, James, can stand on its own. And Atlas can stand by what it has done. Which has earned you few allies over the years.”
“I… I was just…Ozpin!” Ironwood turned his attention to the elevator.
“He can't hear you. After the meeting with Qrow, and further back to the entry of Team RWBY, and even further back to the actions of Yang Xiao-Long, he has been continually content to let things be.” Glynda cleared her throat. “Or so stressed and self-medicating that he isn't very capable of doing much. Which results in the same.”
“You are alone , child.” Ironwood grunted as Ruby threw him away. “Let us see if you can grow up. For if not… there is nothing but death for your people and destruction for your lands.”
“Mistral…” Ironwood scrabbled backward, clutching his pistol like a lifeline despite how useless it was against everyone in the room. “Mistral won't-”
“Mistral has just finally finished paying the reparations from the war, James. They won't be eager to place their lot in with Atlas again.” Glynda frowned. “Nor would the actual leaders of the place be interested in anything like that even should the official council be interested.”
“I doubt Lionheart would be able to work up the courage.” Ruby, back to her normal height, giggled. “He didn't seem all that eager to tell Weiss and I no when we visited him.”
“You… YOU!” Ironwood's feet scrabbled against the floor as he fled the room.
“Damn, he didn’t shit bricks,” Blake huffed, watching the man go. “Guess we didn’t scare him quite enough for that… oh well. By the way I was totally serious about the fleet thing. If they don’t leave, can I carve all their ships into itty bitty shreds, Ruby?”
“As a treat.” It wasn't like throwing them out required them to be in one piece anyway. “As long as you let me take care of the bases they think nobody knows about. Weiss can rampage though the ones we do. Yang… she'll figure something out. Maybe steal her family or something.”
“Yeah, makes sense,” Blake nodded, smiling softly. “Right, now that that’s done… wanna go on another date? There’s a new cookie place that just opened up today, and I hear they have quintuple chocolate fudge jumbo cookies as big as your head there.”
“Ah, maybe later?” Ruby tapped her fingers together. “I was in the middle of… a thing. With Neo. So…”
The thing being girl rotting while questioning her life choices. And the inevitability that she wouldn't always be around. And stuff.
Damnit. There went the mood.
“Mm… okay, I’ll get you one of their party platters for when you get back then!” Blake decided, just as cheerfully as before.
“Thanks!” Ruby leaned over to kiss her girlfriend on the cheek. Then whirled back to resume cockwarming Neo.
It'd get better.
Notes:
This was probably the chapter I had the most fun with, above when Ruby was running around making Blake's new guns.
Chapter 58: Vytal Season- Killswitch (Weiss 14)
Chapter Text
“Blake,” Weiss began as Blake effortlessly barrel rolled out of the way of a shot from an anti-aircraft cannon, “Why is the Atlas military shooting us and demanding over pretty much every radio frequency we surrender to their custody or face military retaliation?”
“Prrrrobably because real me did something stupid!” Blake laughed, not at all concerned about the level of anti-air fire coming after them at the moment. After all, it wasn’t like they were a threat to either her nor Weiss. Mostly. Maybe if they pulled out the really big guns, but whatever. “I dunno, how much shit do you wanna break?”
“As much as we can get away with really.” Weiss shrugged as she pulled her rocket launcher out of a Glyph and fired it at a Bullhead following them. “So long as we don’t kill the bastard in the crossfire. We probably shouldn’t knock the entire island out of the sky either? There's probably some workers from Mantle or something up here right now being underpaid and exploited by their rich bosses.”
“I’m not gonna knock Atlas out of the sky, that’d be a waste of a perfectly good floating island,” Blake huffed, idly adjusting Weiss’ position in her arms so she could shoot better. “Honestly, if only real me wasn’t busy with other things right now… I could really use the Yamato to fuck some shit up right about now. As it is… we’re gonna have to dive into the city proper and make sure they can’t anti-air us anymore, force a search on foot rather than a pursuit by air.”
“Sounds like as good a plan as any. We can just wreck Atlas a little before we bring the entire team to level it or something.” Weiss before being forced to cling on a little tighter as Blake dived into some random Atlas alleyway.
“Honestly at this rate, it’s probably better to just destroy the entire manor… or wherever Jacques is… and split.” Blake huffed, landing with just a little skid and setting Weiss down after releasing her Devil Trigger transformation. “Not because the military here is an actual threat, but because I don’t wanna burn out before I can get us home.”
“He usually works from home, so it would probably work. The only issue is Mother and Whitley are also home. Which like… Okay Whitley is an asshole but he’s also a kid who I think could benefit from being thrown into Vacuo for a bit. And Mother needs therapy and Alcoholics Anonymous.” Weiss explained as she inspected the random alley Blake had landed them in.
It was surprisingly clean for a random alleyway. All pristine white and brutalist architecture and while maybe a little dingy and dusty she had seen far worse from inside actual buildings.
“We should probably get going before the Atlas military finds us. I can already hear them buzzing on the radio about deploying the military, hell the entire academy students and all, into the streets to search.” Weiss relayed. “They also think we don’t know that but I stole their encryption keys a while ago so I can listen in on whatever they’re transmitting.”
“Your mom needs dick from a man or a woman who will actually love her and your little brother needs to go online and meet a transfemme polycule, got it,” Blake nodded, moving down the alleyway with purpose and confidence, as if she knew exactly where she was going… until she stopped about ten feet away and looked back. “... Which way is that shitfuck’s mansion again? I have a really, really, really dumb idea.”
Weiss waved her in a direction vaguely north-west. “That way-ish. The city’s on a big grid because it was all pre planned so it ought to be visible eventually. At the end of some road there's a massive fence with spikes on top that's actually illegal but no one will do anything about because it's the Schnee manor and the bastard has enough money to ignore petty things like law and empathy.”
“Right… okay so you might get a little dizzy for a second…” Blake murmured, then swooped Weiss back up into a princess carry before spinning around with a flare of demonic energy-
-and depositing them in a completely different alley in an area that probably would have looked even more uncomfortably familiar to Weiss if they hadn’t been, well. Halfway down an alley.
“Warmer or cooler?” Blake asked, the last wisps of violet flames dying off around her from the sudden teleport, with her moving so they could both peek out of the alley and get an idea of their bearings.
“Warmer, definitely warmer.” Weiss answered as she peeked out of an alleyway to spy the Schnee manor.
And two random soldiers calling presumably a higher rank soldier.
“Sir it's just, the anti aircraft cannons didn’t work. It looked like they were having fun dodging it.” The one on the left began as she spoke into the scroll.
“What do you mean it didn’t work? That’s Atlesian engineering. The most advanced weapon technology on Remnant. The most advanced weapon technology in Atlas! What do you mean they dodged it!?!” The scroll barked back at them.
“I don’t know sir, it just didn’t work. We’re deploying search teams now, but it's just… What are we going to do once we find them?” The other answered as he did his best not to sound just a little afraid.
” The answer is right there in front of your gawking moon-cheese of a face! Shoot them until they stay dead! ” Whoever was behind the scroll answered.
“Sir yes sir!” They replied reflexively as the scroll cut off.
“Gawking… moon-cheese…?” Blake mumbled, scratching her head awkwardly while setting Weiss down gently. “Why does that sound so familiar and why use such an odd idiom…? Whatever, let’s just… okay, we’ll get in close to the gate, then you can do… whatever you want, honestly, my idea was just to do a big flashy drill attack and crash straight into and through Jacques’ office.”
“I like that idea.” Weiss grinned as she stepped out of the alleyway with confidence. “Also, hello, I’ll be needing that scroll. I also highly recommend leaving Atlas incredibly soon. You don’t get paid enough to deal with us.”
“That is the smartest thing I’ve heard all day.” The woman answered as she tossed the scroll as Weiss. “Come on, let’s go open up that cafe in Mistral or something.” She grabbed her partner and dragged him along the ground as his gawking moon-cheese of a face was stuck open in shock, confusion, and fear.
“Well, that was easy,” Blake commented, watching the two soldiers go. “Honestly, I’m glad I didn’t just straight up kill ‘em. Diplomacy takes way less effort than using up valuable magic on trash mobs who can barely fight.”
“Never overestimate a goon’s loyalty to you if all you do is give them minimum wage.” Weiss added. “But pay them well and they’ll probably be willing to fight god. Now come on, some of them are brainwashed and blackmailed into loyalty and some of them are probably stupid enough to try and kill us anyway.”
“Mhmm. Alright, gimme a second cuz this takes a lot of focus to not hurl while I’m spinning,” Blake took a deep breath, unsheathing her blade and focusing. A moment later, her Devil Trigger went off in a blast of violet flames, and shortly afterwards she erupted into the air like a giant drill of death, speeding off like a homing missile focused entirely on Jacques’ vile presence.
Weiss hopped onto an actual missile and followed along behind Blake, being just barely outsped but still close. Blake reached the peak of her arc and dived down into a random point of the Schnee Manor’s roof, presumably the one with the bastard under it. There was a brief moment of contact before the material was reduced to dust under Blake’s drill leaving a big enough hole for Weiss to ride into.
“What is the meaning of this-” Jacques tried to say before a coin hit him in the face. “Oh no.”
“Oh yes. Hello again you overcooked oligarch.” Weiss replied while Blake seemed to be doing her best to be intimidating and not nauseous. “We’ve come to threaten, kill, and then trap you in a hell of our own creation!” She said with a demented grin on her face.
“Or just kill you the regular way,” Blake grumbled, looming over Weiss with her arms on the shorter girl’s shoulders as if she was just aura farming from the shadows instead of about to throw up from too much spinning. “Skin you alive, flense the flesh from your bones, and devour your soul until nothing remains.”
“Now now, surely we can talk about this-” Weiss interrupted him with another coin to the face. “I have money, riches, power . Everything you could ever want at my fingertips. If you kill me you can’t have any of it.” He tried to bargain. He even swallowed his pride enough to ignore the coin.
“You know our other girlfriend basically rules Vale’s underworld right?” Weiss pointed out. “All you have is worthless in our eyes.”
“I- I- The Company! If you kill me it will be chaos! Worldwide Dust shortages! Skyrocketing prices! People will suffer and die at the hands of Grimm and Bandits because they don’t have any bullets to fire! Mantle will freeze!” He tried to bargain.
It, actually made Weiss pause. “Hmm. That…” Jacques perked up. “Don’t do that, we're still killing you. Blake, are we gonna have to fix the global supply chain? I kinda stopped keeping track of it once I didn’t have to.”
“No not really,” Blake shrugged, rolling her eyes. “Past a certain point in the chain of command, the higher ups are completely useless for everything except shady backroom deals and giving themselves absurd bonuses every year due to wage theft, time theft, suppression of worker rights, and slashing workforces. We could replace him and every member of the board, and probably at least fifty percent of the VPs, general managers, and other upper management level staff with chatbots that occasionally fire two hundred random people a week and spout racist bullshit on the internet every half hour and productivity would skyrocket.”
“Welp. Good enough for me.” Weiss replied as she pointed a revolver at Jacques’ face. “Which would you like? Eternal hell or the complete and utter shredding of your soul in the vain hope the pieces might one day make up a person actually worth something?”
“I.. I… Please…” He outright begged.
“Flip a coin,” Blake hummed, bumping her shoulder against Weiss’. “Heads, you kill him. Tails… I kill him. In the unlikely event that it lands on the edge…”
She paused, looking at Jacques for a moment to build up just a smidgen of hope. “We let him go… out the window.”
Weiss pulled a random coin out of a Glyph and spun it on the table. It rotated for a while, while he whimpered, but eventually its momentum petered out and left it on heads.
At least it was until Weiss picked it up and set it edge up leaning against a random mug full of pens. “Seems to have landed on its edge, oh well.” She hoisted Jacques up above her head with one hand and shot her railcannon at the wall to blow open a hole. “Any last words that aren’t random whimpering?”
“ Please! ”
“Guess that's a no.” Weiss shrugged before tossing him out the window. He actually went a decent distance, landing not on the ground but on top of the fence. Which then stabbed him through the chest. And an arm. Needless to say there was a lot of screaming.
“Ooh, nice shot,” Blake whistled, nodding in approval. “That’s not immediately fatal, but by the time any aid gets here, he’ll probably be dead. Just to make sure, though…”
She flicked her sword lightly, severing the fence’s metal just in the right way to make it collapse… and impale Jacques even further until he resembled a bloodied pincushion more than a man. “There we go. Now he’ll really bleed out and die before help gets here.”
He stopped screaming, mostly because he couldn’t anymore due to the multiple pieces of metal that impaled his lungs. “I feel good about this. I don’t think anyone will really miss him.” Weiss summed up.
“Father no!” Whitley ran out of the manor and stopped before the rapidly growing pile of blood. “Please Father, please! Tell me you updated your will to leave everything to me like we talked about!”
Jacques responded by coughing up blood onto Whitley.
“I’m going to take that as a no then.” He deadpanned. “Oh well. Hello again sister, keeping busy I see?”
“Very.” Weiss replied. “I’m pretty sure our team just started a war against Atlas. So that's going to be a thing. Can you take Mother to go get therapy? And check in on Klein? I’m going to be busy trying to knock Atlas out of the sky without crushing Mantle.”
“Yes, you would. Very well. Winter has offered an open invitation for us to come to Menagerie if the Manor ever became, unsafe. We’ll just head there then. You could have at least waited until I was finished stealing all the money from his bank accounts.” Whitley remarked as he wiped the blood off his face with a spare handkerchief.
“Eh, let’s not knock Atlas out of the sky,” Blake huffed, waving her hand lightly. “Floating cities are cool. We should just move it above that one big-ass lake in Anima and watch the assholes up here melt from having to experience real summer.”
“I kinda want to nick the staff from here at some point, so that kinda works out. Hell, Ambrosius would probably find it funny to do.” Weiss remarked. “We can make a barrier that keeps the assholes in but lets the underpaid workers leave and let it cook for a while.”
“Pfft. Yeah. Let’s go do that, it’ll be great,” Blake giggled… and then flickered translucent for a moment. “... Or not. Dammit. We gotta go home now otherwise I’m probably gonna pop a hundred miles out from Beacon.”
“There should be an airship on the Manor roof. That will probably also be military grade. Come on, let's get out of here and deliver the good news.” Weiss finished before she jumped onto the roof through the hole she made earlier quickly followed by Blake.
On the fence Jacques let out one final whimper before he finally died. And nothing of value was lost.
Chapter 59: Vytal Season - Politics and Mall Trips
Chapter by Argo_The_Rat, CyberQueen_Jolyne
Chapter Text
“Oh my god Weiss just started a war,” Blake muttered, checking her scroll and palming her face. “Fuck’s sake, if she and my doppelgangers are gonna kill her stupid dad, why couldn’t they have at least had the good sense to not get caught on camera stealing a fucking Atlesian cruiser!?”
“Considering what we just did to Ironwood…” Ruby looked… a lot better put together, now. After whatever she was doing with Neo ended. “I think this was just a little inevitable. Fucks up the Vytal festival though.”
“Yeah, but at least he actually had the good sense to move his shit out of Vale before I turned the entire fleet into shrapnel and chunky salsa,” Blake pointed out, sighing and grumbling a little more. “Gods, this really does prove my doppelgangers don’t share my concept of consequences for my actions.”
She paused, clearing her throat. “... Not… that I have much of one in the first place… but still. Ugh, if Ironwood gets pissy about declaring war on either Vale or us specifically, do you think anyone will care if I just abandon him naked and alone in some hellish backwood four hundred miles from the nearest civilization?”
“Maybe Atlas, but we’ve already established how much we care about the opinion of Atlas.” Ruby hummed. “Everyone else? You might get a free drink from anyone in Vacuo, Vale isn’t very happy with him, and Mistral thinks the military are killjoy fucks that do things like ‘water down our booze’ or ‘keep the peace’. Mantle might throw a parade. How many times was it actually the White Fang that bombed Mantle military outposts?”
The White Fang was a convenient thing to blame in… literally all cases. In Atlas. Which was probably some of the things the former heads were hoping to prevent. Making the Faunus a boogeyman resulted in a lot of problems that Ghira Belladonna understood and wanted to avoid. He failed , but he tried. Sienna Khan didn’t bother.
“There were more than a few false flag operations, but honestly there were…” Blake counted on her fingers. “At least twelve different terrorist attacks in the last six years that were directly caused by the White Fang when it comes to the Atlesian military. Most of which weren’t in Mantle, though… except for… well. Me doing my thing, but that’s assassinations not arson and terrorist bombing campaigns.”
“Wasn’t it about triple that got claimed by the Atlesian military in their reports?” Ruby gently grabbed another tool and resumed cleaning the cleaver in front of her. Not that it looked like it could be cleaned, with how much the blood had caked into it. “Something like that at least.”
“I’m gonna be honest, I don’t actually remember everything,” Blake hummed, scratching her cheek. “Sometimes I forget a lot of the stuff I’ve said. As it were… I wouldn’t put it past the Atlesians to lie about how many buildings we’ve burned down. We did usually try not to burn down too many, though… sorta.”
“Atlas puts out a newsletter of stuff they say they’ve been improving on and stuff. I always liked to laugh at it, but I never really tried to remember it.” A half-shrug, since Ruby was a little too invested in making sure to not screw up cleaning. “It was mostly bullshit about how Atlas was the best mixed with offers to help people move there. A lot of it was them figuring out things that any actually effective military already would’ve known for years, so it was hilarious. I’m honestly not sure if the entire thing is just a massive embezzlement scheme with Ironwood being too high on nationalism to notice.”
“I dunno, I think one of Atlas’ ongoing problems is that a lot of people move out of Atlas and Mantle the moment they have enough money and enough exposure to the outside CCT to realize how shit it is up there,” Blake shrugged, sitting a little closer to Ruby just to watch her work. “Velvet says that, out of her entire graduating class in whatever Atlesian combat school she went to, only like… twenty percent actually went into Atlas Academy. All the rest either went straight into Mantle’s defense corps or got scholarships in any Huntsman academy that would take them.”
“Makes sense. Who’d actually want to go there?” The cleaver was placed to the side as Ruby pulled out… a cane? “Either you live in Mantle, which is underfunded with crumbling infrastructure, or you head to Atlas proper, and deal with all the rich assholes that actually run it. Plus nobody really talks about what Atlas , the academy, is known for. Everybody knows Beacon is the best, but Shade graduates survive the longest and Haven are some of the best to have around after the Grimm are dealt with.”
“In Atlas, you either wash out and become a cog in the war machine, or you’re largely considered nothing but an extension of their ground forces,” Blake nodded, folding her legs and huffing quietly. “Very, very few people manage to reach the rank of Specialist, and those that do are even more just an extension of the military. So anyone who doesn’t want to pledge themselves to a paper tiger of a war machine with no real enemies to fight and nothing propping up their relentless armed expansionist ideals except blind nationalism and stupidity just leaves. Makes sense, really.”
“Specialists don’t have all that great life expectancy either.” Oh, the cane was a whip. A very sharp whip. Who could even use that without smacking themselves? “The fact is that a military isn’t good at dealing with Grimm. They’re insurgent guerilla forces, really, and militaries don’t work very well against them. Which means the Specialists keep getting sent out again and again. Constantly trying to keep a lid on Grimm incidents and on rebel factions within Atlas and Mantle and on White Fang and similar organizations. If Atlas was any smart they’d focus on a much smaller force with more specific training.”
“You know,” Ruby chuckled as she leaned back, “the exact sort of thing literally everyone else does.”
“No one ever accused the Atlesian military at being good at anything but mindless weapons advancement tech,” Blake snorted, rolling her eyes before sighing quietly with a soft smile. “I’m glad that we get to be catty about Atlas together. It’s nice.”
“It is.” One last motion and Ruby set the cane to the side. In its place was a heavy hunk of metal. More a club than something you actually intended to cut anything with, despite the edge. A swift motion had it separate into… individual links. A heavier version of the cane, maybe? “We might be doing more than being catty about it soon. Honestly, it might be more fun to see how many people we can make desert instead of just crushing them. Atlas has the smallest population and this world does need it around. Yang can take care of making it not terrible after we smash them, but she can’t rip blood from a stone.” A pause. “ Probably .”
“Honestly, at this rate I’d trust Salem to rule Atlas over Jimmy,” Blake grumbled irritably, making a face. “... I mean, then again, maybe she’d consider it too much of an inconvenience considering she’s getting laid with Qrow now. Wonder how that’s going? God, I hope he hasn’t gotten her pregnant somehow.”
“Probably not, but who knows.” Ruby waved a hand. “Salem at least has the confidence, even if I really doubt she has any actual practical experience. Though it really says something that Atlas does have a council, but nobody knows who the other people on it are.”
“She was sorta a queen…” Blake mused idly. “She couldn’t possibly do worse than the entire Atlesian war machine. Probably a lot better now that she’s got daily stress relief going too.”
“Honestly, just letting things run and pushing taxes toward the places it should actually be going to would be enough.” Ruby hummed. “Would need to figure out another headmaster of Atlas academy though. I don’t think anyone is really good for it? Because they’d need to unfuck a lot. It’s actually specifically illegal, based on the Treaty of Vytal, to use Huntsman for military purposes. The Atlesian military dodges it because ‘military purposes’ specifically is against other nations and so far they’ve never been in actual conflict with any other kingdom. Menagerie doesn’t count because of racism. They’d need to flip Mistral or Atlas to get the recognition and the tower.”
“... Mmm…” Blake tilted her head slowly, swaying back and forth as she thought about that little conundrum. “... Wait. ADHD brain train moment. Atlas is advanced enough that you could fully automate its system of government with a properly managed app and people’s ID cards. Which means if we really wanted to… we could legitimately put the Polendinas in charge of everything and it’d probably turn out better than… well. Probably anyone else we could put in charge.”
“Probably? You’d run into issues with Mantle.” Ruby moved her latest weapon to the side to make way for… is that just a hammer? “Which, theoretically , Atlas is supposed to be in charge of. It wouldn’t be advanced enough for that sort of thing to actually work and to make it work would take a lot of money and time. No idea if it could even be done. That sort of thing isn’t anything I know about.”
“They’ve got scrolls and functioning IDs that register them as part of the greater Atlesian federal zone,” Blake pointed out, tilting her head. “They’re poor down there, yeah, but the vast, vast, vast majority of people do have scrolls… if cheap ones. And besides, if we put the Polendinas in charge of Atlas, it’ll probably get better for Mantle within two or three years. Depending on how many extraneous politicians we have to vanish when they say dumb shit.”
“The question is if Mantle will be big with that. Plus, just an ID card system tied to an app has its own issues.” Ruby waved a hand. “Sure you can tag everyone and keep track, but then it's a whole cat and mouse with criminals, spoofing, and at the end of the day you still need some form of people on the ground to actually deal with stuff. I’ve been to enough mega cities to recognize that. Remnant isn’t screwed up enough to need that yet. Maybe if Salem actually dropped some of the really old Grimm, but right now taking more land is more a matter of having the people and Huntsman numbers are trending up.”
“True, but honestly the big part is less automating everything and just automating like…” Blake vaguely waved her hand, trying to get her point across. “We can just… get rid of all of Atlas’ dipshit politicians and whatnot. Gut the military, put heavy restrictions on corporations, the whole nine yards. Automate about as much of like, the far and away judicial and federal bullshit that the average person is beholden to but never actually gets a real say in because that’s just not how the system currently works.”
“So taxes, mostly. Any legal challenges still needs actual legal people around, though you could make filing easier.” Ruby pulled a sword… out of the hammer? Why would you even want that? “How many corporations are there? The only really big one is Schnee Dust and most everything else is dominated by regional players because of the cost of shipping. Schnee Dust is only so big because they overwork and underpay their miners and squeeze as much money out of selling the very necessary crack rocks to everyone.”
“SDC is the big one. Scroll companies that aren’t SDC brand but are big enough that they can’t just be bought out and gutted. Atlas’ military supply companies that, surprisingly, aren’t SDC,” Blake listed off one by one. “What few companies there are managing Solitas’ food supply. Vehicle manufacturers. So on and so forth. The SDC feels like it’s nominally the only one because almost everyone is forced to use SDC Dust, but there’s a few companies with in-house Dust mines that we just never hear about because they don’t sell publicly, and also a few smaller companies with their own supplies and mines that usually get bought out once the SDC actually has reason to care about them. But yeah. Stuff that’s closer to the people needs people and not just blind automation, but by and large you can automate anything that people only interact with once or twice a year as a big inconvenience or hurdle preventing them from actually making a solid living.”
“Huh. I do most of my buying from the Super Mega Universe Mall.” Ruby blinked and leaned back in her chair, one hand under her chin. “I… don’t think I’ve ever actually bought anything? But cookies. Yang gave me my first scroll, and every time I’ve broken it, which isn’t often, there's usually some idiot trying something willing to donate theirs. And… I don’t have a car? Or… much else, really. Other than weapons.”
“Yeah, that’d do it,” Blake chuckled softly, shaking her head. “Anyway… how much longer are you gonna be with weapon maintenance? Do you wanna go get some food or should I just make you something real quick?”
“I don’t actually need to do it. I just find it a good way to refocus after spending time with Neo.” Ruby shuddered. “We can head out now if you really want to. Maybe we can head to the mall. There's a few things there I’d like to grab, honestly, and it’d be a good opportunity to get you something nice.”
“Sweet, mall trip!” Blake cheered, hopping up and grabbing her coat. “Hell yeah!”
“It’s literally infinite, so if you haven’t found something immediately just wander down the rows a bit and it’ll show up.” Ruby stood up with a stretch. “Don’t worry about how the mall knows . It’s not worth it.”
Blake blinked. “... I’ll take your word for it then.”
Chapter 60: Vytal Festival - Atlas Stumbled.
Chapter Text
“Hey Panny.” Yang mumbled quietly as she looked at her scroll, still bunched up with a bunch of Blake clones. “What’s wrong, honey?”
“Well, General Ironwood has pulled Atlas entirely out of the Vytal Festival due to a number of factors,” Pandora stated idly, counting them off on her fingers. “The assassination of Jacques Schnee by your cat wife and cyborg wife. Your cat wife and cyborg wife very visibly stealing an Atlesian cruiser bound for Vale. Your sister wife threatening to destroy Atlas’ Vale detachment fleet if they did not leave city premises. A number of other factors, including but not limited to your acts of terrorism against Atlas, Blake’s acts of terrorism against Atlas, Weiss’ acts of what are likely going to be categorized as treason … and domestic terrorism, and Ruby’s… general nature and ability to terrify General Ironwood beyond the bounds of common sense. And that isn’t even getting into all of the things Specialist Schnee said out loud on a busy street in front of a large crowd of Valean civilians. It has been quite chaotic lately, and no one is happy. Which means that there are many, many, many, many Grimm incursions as of late. My sisters and I can hardly recharge through the night at this rate, and we’ve each been allotted into 2.4 hour shifts to try and mitigate battery loss over periods of intense physical activity.”
Yang slowly blinked, and then frowned. “Do I need to get you, your sisters, and Pietro out of Atlas? I can and will tow Atlas somewhere if I need to.”
“Please do not. While we would like to leave Atlas eventually, the people of Mantle are at extremely high risk right now, and it is taking all ten of us to mitigate the loss of life from repeated Grimm incursions against the walls,” Pandora shook her head, then pursed her lips. “However. If you were to be somehow capable of moving Atlas somewhere else, that would lessen the resource strain on Mantle… please do not tell anyone that we are capable of dissenting against the Atlesian government. General Ironwood would be ever so displeased.”
“Jimmy can be as displeased as he wants. Mid spiral or not you don’t treat people like that and he of all people should know it.” Yang frowned, before standing up and brushing down part of her skin. “I’ll be there soon, hun. Don’t worry.”
“Dick Softcock can go get bent,” Blake deadpanned, all of her clones speaking in chorus to emphasize that particular point.
“If you would, that would be greatly appreciated. I may be proud to protect both Atlas and Mantle from the legions of Grimm but…” Pandora sighed. “If Atlas were not in the sky above Mantle, frankly it would be a far easier life. Harsher in some ways, due to the sudden economic crisis it would cause, but easier due to the sudden lack of totalitarian government. Though, defending the walls would be much more difficult without the military lending its infrastructure and aid…”
“They’ll adapt. Always do. And with Mantle not having a giant city shaped ship parked in front of it they’d also be healthier, probably.” Yang huffed as she threw on her usual outfit, tightening her belt after a moment. “I’m not going to apologize for what happens to Atlas, but if my darling girls just happen to be protecting Mantle, and thus can’t come to the defense of the city, while their father is busy meeting a friend somewhere safe, that’d be good.”
“I understand,” Pandora nodded, then tilted her head and turned off to the side. “Polaris, now would be a good time to unearth the hidden military equipment stashes you have around Atlas! I surmise that the citizens of Mantle will need it sooner rather than later!”
“Way ahead of you, dear sister! The military won’t even miss the twelve cruisers and eighteen corvettes I stole!”
“You stole wh- how!?”
“I’m a dragon! Rawr!”
Pandora sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose in a quintessentially human gesture despite the fact that she physically couldn’t get a stress headache. “Nevermind. Just- take everyone and go. And bring your charging stations!”
“Yes, dear sister…”
“Aww, that’s cute,” Blake hummed, all… several of her clones all lounging around still and not leaving the bed despite Yang now standing up. “Do you want me to come with you, babe? Real me’s still with Ruby, but y’know. I think… uh… one of us probably has enough energy to get to Atlas and back with at least two major fights on the way…”
“You know we don’t,” the Blake still toiling away in the kitchen deadpanned. “Even I don’t, and the only thing I’ve been doing is making sure Blake’s ramen broth doesn’t go bad.”
“Damn.”
“I’ll be fine, girls.” Yang smiled at the Blakes, and then turned back to Pandora. “I’ll be there shortly. You all stay safe and out of my way, and I’ll try to keep my tornadoes from hitting Mantle’s wall.”
“Thank you, mother,” Pandora smiled, snapping off a picture perfect salute before ending the call. “We will await your arrival shortly! Goodbye for now!”
Watching the call click out, Yang stood there for a moment. Then she gently wiped her eyes. “Those girls are too pure to be made from me…” She quietly said, even as she put away her scroll and opened up the window, letting the colder air of the night into the swamp of heat that was their dorm room.
“Nyeep!” Blake yelped, all several naked clones all scrambling to hide beneath some kind of blanket. “Cold cold cold! Why the window!?”
“To be dramatic.” Yang shrugged with a chuckle, climbing onto the windowsill. “Anyway, love you girls, I’ll be home later tonight. Also if Ruby’s back I’m going to jump on her dick because I haven’t had much time with her recently and I’m going to rectify that. Byeeee.”
Saying that, she jumped out of the window and took her full transformation, the sinewy body of her dragon form taking to the air and flying across the Valean countryside.
Fucking Ironwood. Fucking Ruby scaring the piss out of Ironwood and turning him into General Pussy. Fucking Ironwood and his semblance that literally causes him to spiral harder then her autistic ass ever did. Fucking Blake being an international terrorist because of her mall-ninja crush six years ago. Fucking…
She’ll probably need to ask just what the fuck happened before she can continue her bitchfest.
Even if said bitchfest won’t go anywhere but her brain. Because once she was done making Atlas remember that it couldn’t fucking stop her, she was going to grab Ruby, smother her with tit flesh, and get fucked until she started understanding the Eldritch Truth of the universe.
Again.
Last time was neat. Being a dragon shaped mass of… things. Was pretty neat.
Hmm. She was gonna need to track down Ruby quickly after she was done. They haven’t spent some quality time together in a while, anyway.
Was she jealous that Ruby spent more time with Neo and Blake than her? Hmm.
No. No? Shaking her head as she continued her flight, Yang almost veered into a spiral before correcting herself. No. She wasn’t. She understood that Ruby would go to different people for different things, and that Neo was able to take dick easier than even she could, somehow.
So she was needy, instead of jealous. Good to know.
“I am capable of so much more, and no one sees it.” The boy that would become Kaido whispered quietly, his fist embedded into a hapless pirate. “Some days, I feel so alone I could cry, but I don’t. Because what would be the point?”
The pirate’s body crumbled under him, bones giving way to force as the boy stood there and watched them die. “Take it to your grave.” He finished, shaking his head slowly.
Coming out of that memory, Yang sighed through her nose. Getting introspective again. Annoying.
Why now, of all times? She was going toward a fight. A ‘mini-war’ as it’d no doubt be called, just like last time she went nuts over near Atlas.
Why was she thinking about how lonely she was as a brat? And not even in this life.
“I am sent from island to island.” The boy stated, bringing his club down on this new person. Someone that didn’t immediately die. “Committing atrocities. And as I get better at it. They fear me more. ”
“Well, ain't that very sad for you.” They, male, female? He didn’t know. She didn’t know, anymore. The memory was too faded. “Let me help you! Die!”
She didn’t like being alone with her thoughts. Maybe she should’ve brought a Blake clone to have someone to speak with. Maybe she should’ve waited for Ruby and Blake to come back.
But her girls needed her. And that meant waiting was off the table.
“Oi! Brat!” Linlin’s voice echoed out as they fished him out of the water, Rocks staring down at him furiously but pointedly not attacking. “Are you insane!?”
“He told me to hit him hard enough to feel it.” Kaido mumbled as he was dropped on deck, chuckling at the memory of getting Rocks in the balls. “Not my fault he wasn’t specific.”
He was kicked into the mast for saying that. But then the shipwright got onto Rocks’ case for it, because the thing snapped. Heh.
Taking a breath, she let her memories of before wash over and through her. The life and times of Kaido had come to an end. For all that she was the King of Beasts, she was no longer Kaido. Could no longer be Kaido.
Didn’t want to be Kaido. Not anymore.
Even just making more of an effort to be in her kids’ lives, for all that the Polendina sisters were mentally far more mature than their nominal ages, was a step up from being Kaido.
She’d failed once. She didn’t want to fail a second time. Or an eleventh.
Especially not a twelfth.
Staring as Mantle came into view, she could see the veritable warzone taking place around it, the walls coated in Grimm as they gnashed and clawed and spat, all desperately trying to get into the walled city.
Grinning, she also saw that Atlas became aware of her, guns now deciding it was imperative to ignore the Grimm attacking them directly to shoot at her.
Hilarious. Not least of which because the only thing that could feasibly hurt her in Atlas’ armory was the staff, or her girls.
A giant laser pinged off her, Ironwood’s contribution. It hit her directly, washed over her.
Mildly singed her scales. Twisting around the cities, she grinned.
And then the tornadoes formed, washing over the Grimm, the ships in the air. Buffeting them, launching them.
Destroying them entirely.
She could feel it. The people of Mantle’s terror. The people of Atlas’ anger at their pride being damaged. She wrapped her flame clouds around the upper city, six spirals of flame coating the underside.
She took hold, and she started pulling, even as her twisters killed dozens upon thousands of Grimm, leaving only essence in their path. The cables holding Atlas to Mantle groaned. Flexed. Snapped from their place in the ground, dragged alongside the flying city.
She didn’t have a good spot to put them. She could put them over Vacuo. That’d be funny. Or Menagerie, if she wanted to see a blood bath.
She looked down to see her girls cleaning up what was left of the Grimm after her Tatsumaki blew through the area.
Hmm… She could dump Atlas on that bitch that led the Spiders. Put it over that Great Lake over on Anima.
Would they complain? Maybe. But she didn’t care.
It could still fly. She could wreck up the place. It’d be funny.
Hmm. People are crawling on her body. She could probably knock them off. Probably just twist and kill them.
She’d decide what to do if they tried to stab her eye or something.
“Hey!”
Oh, that was Blake. Not quite the real Blake, but Blake all the same, standing on top of her head.
“Dammit, when you said you’d be back later, I thought you were just gonna commit an act of international terrorism, not knock out the CCT Network!” Blake shouted, smacking Yang’s horn lightly to get her attention. “Dammit Yang, you knocked out Webflix! Webflix! We were in the middle of watching G Guntan!”
“Hey hon.” Yang rumbled, the sound rocking through the air and probably causing several hundred soldiers to realize that she could speak at that moment. “I’m not gonna apologize. They were running my girls into the ground.”
“I mean, yeah! But it’s still really inconvenient,” Blake sighed, idly deflecting a bullet shot her way and returning fire by sending several of the people clinging to Yang’s form hurtling down to the unforgiving ground far, far below. “By the way, Weiss turned around her ship so she could be on an intercept course. Can you park this thing over Lake Matsu? It’s that giant inland sea on Anima that makes the entire continent look like a double dragon blowjob.”
“Mkay.” Yang mumbled, not changing her course at all. She was already going to do that, after all. Looking out the corner of her eye, she actually found it a bit amusing that those falling soldiers found out her clouds were solid. “They really should have put in CCT redundancies. Even without me doing this, or terrorists, or Grimm. If it went down, the entire network is gone. That’s just bad design, no matter how authoritarian you’re trying to be.”
“I don’t think they were expecting literally anything like this to ever happen, and I’m pretty sure their redundancies were just, throw more soldiers at the problem,” Blake deadpanned. “Anyway, I used up most of my energy getting here so I’m just gonna sit and nap in your fluff until I inevitably pop.”
“Oh. Okay.” Yang hummed, shifting her head to let Blake get a bit more comfortable as the scenery under her changed. The people on Atlas are probably fine.
Probably.
Still it was this or take the place out, so she was sure that whoever they sent to try and negotiate with a giant dragon would understand. Or just piss their pants.
Her Haki was probably keeping them from fucking dying, anyway. It’s fine.
“ Yang! What in the Kentucky Fried Fuck are you doing! ” Weiss called out from where she had just barely managed to match her airship's speed to Yang’s velocity. “Klein is up there somewhere! And a ton of other underpaid workers that have to commute! And you didn’t invite me to help do terrorism! I had to live there for seventeen years Yang, I get dibs on terrorism against it!”
“They’ll be fine. I’m using Haki to keep the city from fucking exploding.” Yang chuffed, chuckling as her air speed reduced to a point to allow Weiss to keep up. “Besides that, I didn’t invite you because you weren’t home. And I had to quickly step out to help my girls, so tough tits!”
“I- Fair enough yeah…” Weiss groaned. “Getting the CCT tower working again is gonna be hell. I got used to having the entire CCTnet in my brain, I can’t go back. Or we could just attach an infinite power source and chuck it into orbit or something… Whatever, later.” She trailed off.
“So, what exactly is the plan from here? Because The moment you stop the entire academy, the ones that are brainwashed or loyal enough and not puking their guts out anyway, are gonna try to kill us.” Weiss added on. “Argus and Atlas sending assassins after us is gonna make going to class hell. We’re supposed to be students, sort of. At least until Ozpin realizes he could probably get rid of us in his immediate proximity by just graduating us.”
“Literally the only piece of Hardware in Atlas that can hurt me would kill every single one of them if they tried to use it.” Yang pointed out, not even noticing the Atlas personnel feebly holding on to her to avoid falling. “And the only other weapon that could inconvenience me isn’t under the control of Atlas to begin with. They quit.”
“I said they would try . Didn’t say they would try successfully.” Weiss clarified as some random soldier lost their grip and began the long skydive into the water. “But we’re still gonna have to mop up what's left of the Atlesian government and Argus eventually. And take the staff.”
“I don’t really care about any of that.” Yang deadpanned as they finally slowed to a halt smack center of the Great Lake, letting go of her flame clouds and shifting through the air to turn around. And then being pelted by everything except the kitchen sink by the many, many terrified soldiers. Clicking her tongue, she just shook her head in irritation. “If you’re gonna do something, go do it. I wanna go home.”
“Let me just grab Klein, Whitley, and Mother. And hard reset the CCT tower so I can actually finish torrenting The Witch From Hermes.” Weiss sighed.
“Hooray.” Yang flatly hummed.
Life was interesting for Yang Xiao-Long.
“I’m hoooooome~!” the real Blake called out as she all but flung open the door, all dressed up in a slinky new evening dress with all sorts of gold and amethysts draped over her form. She was even wearing jeweled sunglasses and earrings, and her hair had been done up in a shiny, delicate, overly complicated style that made her look somewhere between haute couture runway model and uber wealthy debutante on her debut. She was, also, wearing very nice high heels that made lovely clacking sounds against the hardwood floor, had a whole makeover’s worth of makeup on, and had a whole hell of a lot of shopping bags draped over her arms. “What did I miss, lovelies~?”
“This just in-” Some random news channel blared through the TV. “ Atlas has been relocated over the center of Lake Matsu in Anima. Reports are coming in that it was towed by, a giant dragon? Are we sure that's right?”
“What did Yang do?” Ruby didn’t have any packages on her person. Nor did she seem to have switched out any of her clothing. If she hadn’t come back right alongside Blake nobody would’ve known she’d been to the mall.
“I towed Atlas away from Mantle because the concentrated misery was making my girls spread thin.” Yang stated firmly, before shuffling her kimono. “Also I’ve noticed something I need to rectify, and I need your help for it, Ruby.”
“The Mall doesn’t allow violence. Always makes me itch .” Ruby tilted her head. “What have you got?”
“Rubes, I’ve noticed that you’ve spent more time with Blake and Neo recently than you have trying to make me understand the Eldritch Truth.” Yang put her hands on her hips, with a small pout. “I’m feeling neglected, and I would like you to help rectify this problem.”
“Wait, is that supposed to be a euphemism or are you actually trying to see beyond the veil of reality?” Weiss asked.
“Probably both. But, glad to see that Atlas is basically defunct now,” Blake mused, lowering her glasses and blinking a few times whilst setting down her shopping bags. The way she bent over in her heels and that dress made her ass look divine. Like a literal gift from god. “I do seem to recall several of my doppelgangers getting really pissed that you interrupted a stream of G Guntan, though… I suppose that’s fixed already?”
Why she was doing a vaguely trans-atlantic posh accent was anyone’s guess, but it did sound pretty coming from her voice.
“Yeah that's fair.” Ruby shrugged off her cloak to reveal the fact that she had decided to go with only a bra today. “Had some things to work out and also called Blake for some stuff. Then we did other stuff. Shopping was neat. Got you some things. Got Weiss some things. Good times. Nobody even tried to stab me for being an abomination and got eaten by the mall this time.”
“Better than last time.” Yang huffed, moving to the bed and sitting down. “Anything interesting, or just the usual shopping spree stuff?”
“Clothes, goodies, snacks, jewelry, eveningwear, loungewear, heels, sunglasses, random tchotchkes… I bought myself a bigger stove and oven,” Blake listed off, making sure to show off her new black painted nails as well. “And I got a mani-pedi~! Look at how glossy this nail polish is!”
“I found a gauntlet that is literally an explosion.” Ruby pulled out what looked to be a wireframe surrounding a knuckle duster. “Something about some sort of effect that slows things that can direct and hold an explosion long enough to punch with it.”
“Very cool. We can go over that stuff later, meanwhile, over here.” Yang grinned lewdly as she shucked off her kimono, the cloth already hanging loose on her body beforehand. “I want to have one of those dumb ‘mental revelation’ things and I need your dick up inside me to do it.”
“Very well.” Ruby reached down and ripped her pants off.
Life was about to be very good for Yang Xiao-Long.
Chapter 61: Vytal Season: Chili Doused Declaration (Ruby 15)
Chapter by Argo_The_Rat
Summary:
To arms! TO WAR!
For... about an hour.
Chapter Text
“You understand why you’re here?” Ozpin raised an eyebrow over the rim of his glasses. Standing next to him were Glynda and a man that’d been introduced as the Headmaster of Shade- Theodore. Leonardo wasn’t actually here on account of being a pussy ass bitch. Which was fair.
There used to be military ships around and that was sort of the thing that’d scare the sort of man Leonardo is off. Plus… well. Ironwood had pulled back everyone public, but there were a few more underground spy stations he’d kept staffed. Those’d been given to Weiss. Not because she enjoyed it, though she did, but because she needed to learn they all had to coordinate their murders. Making her try to track down and kill a bunch of people who very much wanted to do nothing more than run was a good way to emphasize that.
If she’d been good, Ruby would’ve given her the exact locations of the places.
“I understand you’re not drunk right now,” Ruby just blinked at the immediate sigh Glynda made, “so this is actually extremely important.”
“Unprecedented.” Theodore rubbed his jaw. “Not only has Atlas pulled out of the competition, they explicitly said it was because of you all. And then declared war on you. I wasn’t sure you could declare war on a team.”
“It actually is legal.” Ozpin sighed. “Technically. Hunter teams are, officially, not beholden to one nation in an effort to prevent anyone attempting to create a monopoly on power. Practically this places them in a special status that acts as, effectively, the heads of a small town in the wilds. A convenient shortcut crafted when the Treaty of Vytal was officially establishing the Huntsman system. As Team RWBY are officially huntresses in training, and therefore now subject to those laws unless they leave without graduating, they would be considered an independent small town under the leadership of Ms. Rose.”
“That sounds exceptionally more complex than it needs to be.” Seriously.
Ozpin’s head thunked onto his desk. “I knoowww…”
“The practical side of this is that you can’t actually be blamed for doing anything to Atlas. Technically you wouldn’t be able to actually take the battlefield, because Huntsmen troops are forbidden by the treaty, but in this case, since you were specifically named, you can.” Theodore chuckled as he leaned back against the wall. “A duelling clause hidden within the Treaty allows it.”
“The more I learn about it, the more I think the Treaty of Vytal was just an attempt by everyone to make a unified constitution instead of an actual treaty .” Glynda resettled her glasses. “Regardless, I’m certain you’ve already moved to handle the issue, Ms. Rose. Know that Vale will have your back should Mistral attempt anything.”
“The more important issue.” Ozpin pulled his head off the desk. “Is that the removal of Atlas ruins the entire Vytal festival. Its structure is highly rigid after so many years, and we don’t have the time to change it up before we need to actually start it. Which is historically done by a spar between a team from the host nation, Vale in this case, and one of the opposing nations from the war. Which Atlas was taking this year.”
“If we’re basically considered a micronation, does that mean we can get charged for war crimes?” Blake mumbled, looking vaguely concerned about that thought. “... And if so, does stealing Atlas off of Atlesian soil count as a war crime? Because Yang and I did that. Sort of. Doppelganger me was an accomplice, at least. Real me was at the mall at that time.”
“If someone wrote a list of war crimes that included stealing the entire capital city of an enemy Kingdom I would honestly be surprised.” Weiss chimed in. “They might end up adding that to the next revision though, which means Yang would have invented a new war crime. Congratulations Yang.”
“Supreme diggity.” Yang said flatly, but there was a small smile on her face at the thought. “I got to write the book on war crimes twice.”
“The number of things which qualify as ‘war crimes’ is frightfully small, actually.” Glynda looked down at her scroll. “There are a larger number which qualify as more general crimes against humanity or crimes against Huntsmen, but the Treaty of Vytal made declaring an actual war so unfathomably costly that any further punishment wasn’t deemed important. If they won then they wouldn’t suffer, and if they lost they basically forfeit anything that could be deemed as having been used in the war effort to the attacked party.”
“Speaking of the laws governing deploying Huntsmen in war, what kind of legal grey area exists for deploying a Huntsman in training to an enemy black site. Theoretically. For no reason in particular.” Weiss added nervously.
“ Theoretically , as a black site would have no actual records of its existence, who is to say anything happened?” Glynda cleared her throat. “Though, again, as you four were directly named as being party to the war you can take to the field in whatever capacity you wish.”
“Never saw much point in a black site myself.” Theodore huffed. “Just the kind of pansying around that gets you killed back home.”
“... So, theoretically, if I decided to track down every last commanding officer in the Atlesian army and every anti-Faunus politician in their government and personally turn them into alpine scrub fertilizer, no one could say anything?” Blake mused idly, looking as though she’d just had a terrible idea.
“Ah, good.” Weiss breathed a sigh of relief as she brought a finger up to her ear. “Sun it’s- Wait you did what? What- Okay look. Change of plans, ignore your original objective. Leave nothing alive.” She ordered before turning to stare at Glynda. “Ignore that.”
“... Okay, see, conscripting Sun to help us might be… only dubiously legal,” Blake lightly elbowed Weiss, then cleared her throat before pulling out her scroll. “... gonna have to tell Veridis to- oh nevermind, she’s done already.”
In the distance, something exploded.
“Stole one of your kills, by the way,” Blake nodded towards Weiss. “Not sorry.”
“Eh, if you file the right paperwork it’ll be fine.” Theodore waved. “What's his team? If you do it right you can get them to be legally recognized as an ally, an expansion, or a subordinate nation. Any of which could enter the war with any forces they have, regardless of Huntsmen status. An exception due to the small size of most towns and the expectation that a small town would be raising an immediate militia.”
“It was believed that any Huntsmen team wouldn’t be capable of anything but defensive measures outside of the umbrella of one of the kingdoms.” Glynda checked her scroll again. “Technically Team SSSN would still be considered as part of Mistral, as they attend Haven, but the paperwork would change that designation to being part of… a few different things, depending on how it’s done.”
“Not really sure I can pull in all of Team SSSN, I’ve only really talked to Sun, which would probably mean there's a couple more legal loopholes to jump through…” Weiss thought aloud. “Hunters in training can be citizens of one Kingdom but attend another academy, depending on what team SSSN thinks I could just pull Sun into the ‘militia’ or if Team SSSN is on board with being goons we can use the same loophole that lets us fight…”
“Mr. Wukong is the leader of the team. Until any of his teammates officially ask for reassignment or go their own way, what he says goes for all of them. They may not like it, however, and it’s not difficult to do either of those.” Ozpin shakes the bottle over his coffee cup one last time and downs the whole thing in one go. “Whoo! Strong stuff.”
“Y’know there's just coffee liqueurs, right?” Yang tilted her head as she watched Ozpin wolf down vodka treated coffee. Completely ignoring Glynda cutting a hand across her neck. “You can skip the middleman of buying vodka first.”
“There is?” Glynda’s sigh barely eclipsed Ozpin’s shout. “Glynda, why didn’t you tell me?”
Glynda just glared.
“Ah.” Ozpin immediately turned away. “Regardless of how you wish to handle your unexpected war effort, know that, once you win, you will be given… a significant portion of Mantle. And likely the entirety of Atlas. As well as any expansions they have. Which may settle the debt.”
“Doubt it.” Theodore nodded.
“Right…” Ozpin reached under his desk and brought out a massive bottle. “The more important issue is of the Vytal Festival. Signaling to the other three Kingdoms that everything is okay and not likely to end in another war is of utmost importance.”
“I dunno, I’ve been getting a lot of students asking about taking a year off… immediately.” Theodore chuckled as the other two adults in the room stared at him. “What?”
“I dunno, fuck it, let Menagerie and Mantle participate for once,” Blake shrugged, completely unconcerned. “It’s not like Menagerie doesn’t have its own Huntsman training, even if there’s no accredited Academy down there, and Mantle… well. I’m pretty sure Robyn Hill would love the chance to get some of her younger Huntresses recognized on the international stage.”
“So since I towed Atlas over the great lake of two dragons fucking does that mean I won or is that just a relocation thing?” Yang frowned as the thought occurred to her. “Also Mantle’d probably send m’ girls, so that’d be fine. Menagerie… eh, I mean there’s plenty a’ people that’d show, probably.”
“Officially there needs to be a declaration of surrender. Or nobody left to surrender.” Theodore chuckled. “You’re that big dragon, then? Didn’t know a Faunus could be a dragon… I kinda wanna be a dragon… ”
“Everyone wants to be a dragon. Dragons are cool.” They make the best swords. “So… Menagerie?”
Ozpin nodded. “Menagerie. All in favor?”
He raised his own hand. Theodore raised his.
“In the absence of Leonardo and the withdrawal of Atlas, the motion passes.” He nodded to Blake. “Ms. Belladonna, the Vytal Festival requires the competing Kingdom send four teams to take part in the tournament. It is expected to send more, plan to perform and showcase regional arts, and otherwise attempt to express yourself on the world stage. It is not, however, required. I don’t think anyone will find fault with Menagerie if they are unable to do this. Please pass that along to your parents and Ms. Khan.”
“Right, I’ll send that over,” Blake nodded, texting her parents on her scroll right away. “So. The gist of it is that we yet again face basically no consequences for anything we’ve done so far and it’s basically all Dick Softcock’s fault for deciding to declare war on four teenage girls anyway. Is that about right?”
“Dick Softcock!” Theodore curled inward as he laughed. “Funniest shit I’ve ever heard!”
“Effectively, yes.” Ozpin let out a heavy sigh. “Because war was officially declared on you, none of you will face any issues or problems for dealing with Atlas and anything officially considered part of the Atlesian military forces.”
“And since they’re over Lake Matsu we don’t even have to do anything because the Grimm wasps will make them leave.” Yang added with a nod and a grin.
“That, or they’ll kill all the whiny rich people who can’t step outside because they don’t know what warm weather and sunscreen are,” Blake snorted, not at all concerned about Atlas’ current state. “I’m sure the military will handle it, though. They do sure love saying how much they can handle all the world’s problems if they’re just given free reign to handle everything and treat everything everywhere as a perpetual state of emergency that gives them full executive control over the government.”
She paused, tilting her head. “I wonder how many of their airships have been destroyed by now.”
“Not enough clearly.” Weiss grinned. “I’ll throw Sun at some of them, It’ll be good practice. I think the rest of us could just shoot them out of the sky without any effort if I’m being honest…”
“Wouldn’t be hard.” Yang shrugged, and then stretched. “Alright. I’m gonna go back to bed. Try not to kill yourself, teach.”
“I make no promises of that.” Ozpin stated, before taking another swig of his alcoholic coffee. “Good day, team RWBY.”
“Good day.” Ruby nodded and turned to the elevator. “The war’s already over and I didn’t even get to kill anything… haah. I’m gonna head to Inkopolis for a while. I need to do a murder.”
Chapter 62: Vytal Season- Wiping All Out
Chapter Text
“Hey, whatever happened to Fria?” Weiss thought aloud from where she was laying on their dorm bed. “Cause like, she's kind of important? She's magic and is the key to the magic staff that can make anything.”
“She’s… probably fine? In Atlas? Maybe?” Blake shrugged, scratching her head and pursing her lips. “I… don’t think I actually remember anything happening to her and it’s not like anyone’s going after her right now. Salem’s goons are all on vacation time, Cinder, Emerald, and Mercury are, well. Y’know. Salem herself is still getting boned by Qrow if I remember right… honestly, if nothing else, I’m sure one of the Polendinas evacuated her. Maybe.”
“Oh, that's good then. She's basically in hospice care, I was worried.” Weiss hummed as she shifted onto her side. “Has Atlas surrendered yet? Or well, has Rusty Dick surrendered yet? Or do we need to go put him in a clown costume and throw him into the middle of Vale.”
“Pretty sure he shit himself when his laser didn’t do much aside from scuff my scales.” Yang mumbled, pulling out her scroll. “I’ll call my babies and see if any of them picked up Fria. They probably did. Probably grabbed as many people as they could.”
She tapped a few holographic buttons on her scroll, and a dial tone rang out.
After a few moments, it stopped trying to connect, and Yang blinked. “Ah. I think we have bigger problems than Fatlas crying.” She hummed, before pulling out a Nautilus styled phone. “Ruby, I need like sixteen Sea-Cucumber Phones. Or any kind of phone, but the Sea Cucumber Phones are flip phones, and flip phones are style.”
“Sure?” Loud yelling came out from the phone. “Just give me a minute to finish this splat battle.” More yelling. “YES, A MINUTE! You useless little shits.” More yelling. “I’m getting the fucking belt. See you in a little, Yang.”
“Mkay. Love you so much, if you’re quick I’ve got some spare purple lipstick, byeeee.” Yang grinned, before flipping her phone shut and laying on the bed. “I forgot that ripping Atlas out of the power coupling lines would knock out the CCT network while I was towing it. I was expecting them to have backup generators! Why wouldn’t they have fucking backup generators!?”
“Rich people hate giant noisy machines. Getting the ones they have in the CCT tower was a small miracle itself.” Weiss explained as she finally sat up off the bed and brushed the hair off her face. “Honestly thought the backup generator in the tower would last longer but someone probably embezzled the dust or maintenance fund for it. There was so much embezzlement in Atlas it made Mistral look crime-free.”
“... So… we had enough juice in Atlas for a few news broadcasts over the last day or two, and now everything’s down,” Blake summarized, frowning a little. “... And with the network being as shoddy as it is thanks to it being a poorly thought out monument to a unity that never existed, everyone else gets screwed too, and the CCT global network is dropped to half power and half signal at best. Fuck.”
She paused, frowning. “I’m starting to think the real consequences for our actions right now is that I can’t access my VTunes playlist, or any of my favorite videos online… or most of my Fog library.”
“Okay here's the plan. One; we go steal the staff and use it to make something to cut out the CCT tower. B; we go drop the tower in Menagerie. And three or C; I stay in the dark for three days reading documentation and struggling to figure out how to code a software patch for the CCT network so it doesn’t have a forced dependency on four towers being up.” Weiss listed off before turning to Blake. “I know your sword is magic bullshit, but can it cut its way into the extra dimensional space the staff is in?”
“...” Blake stared at Weiss, blinking a few times. “Can the Yamato… a demonic sword capable of cutting through literally everything, and which I have used in front of you to carve my way into other universes and stop time among several other feats … cut its way into a halfassed pocket dimension only barely outside of current realspace?”
She paused, shrugging. “I dunno. What do you think?”
Weiss tossed her hands up. “It felt rude to assume, okay. Let's just go do the thing.”
“Hai hai~” Blake grinned, picking up the Yamato from its resting place and settling it onto her hip. “... Actually wait, should I put on my outside clothes or should I just keep this on?”
“This” being the tight black dress she was currently wearing in lieu of anything else, with twin hip-height thigh slits, a deeply plunged backline, and more than a few strings of golden beads strung all over. Also, matching stilettos and opera gloves, and glossy charcoal black lipstick.
“Babe, if you had your dick outlined in that we wouldn’t be doing anything.” Yang flatly said as she craned her neck up to see over her chest, giving Blake a flat look in the process. “If you wanna slay in all your finery, go slay girl.”
“Thanks bae~” Blake purred, bending over at the waist and planting a chaste kiss on Yang’s cheek. “Oh, I’ll go get my purse! Aaaand… my sunglasses!”
She paused, then looked over at Weiss. “... Should I bring a few condoms too, or is this strictly a business mission?”
Weiss shrugged. “If you wanna. I’m probably just gonna ask Ambrosius to make an infinite pizza box and vanish into a cold dark room with blackout curtains and bisexual lighting to code.”
“Please choose something with a bit more health benefits than pizza, it does actually effect how your pussy tastes,” Blake deadpanned flatly, but strode off to go grab her sparkly new clutch purse and designer shades anyway. And, very specifically, she did it in such a way that it made her ass look amazing.
“God… I shouldn’t waste the purple lipstick I have leftover.” Yang mumbled to herself as she stared at her wife, grinning crookedly as she shook her head. “Ruby’d be so disappointed. Have fun, babe.”
“I do know a place that has pussy flavoring candy.” Ruby popped into existence holding a box. “I’m pretty sure that universe is just a never-ending porno. With all the necessary advances to ensure it actually works to some degree. Never looked too hard to tell if everyone was actually hypersexual or if they’re just really uninhibited though.”
“Oh hey Ruby! Just in time to go talk to Ambrosius!” Blake grinned, sauntering back in with her sunglasses on and her clutch purse held in one hand. “Yang, dear, are you coming with or is this a case of letting Weiss and I go off on our own, lest you have me bend you over the counter and not pull out for the next twelve or so hours?”
Yang opened her mouth, and then slowly shut it with a frown as her lips twisted inward. “I… want to say yes. But I promised Ruby that if she got me those shellphones that I’d do that thing with my tongue she liked while she accidentally pushed the Eldritch Truth into my mind. So…”
Standing up, she tied back as much of her hair as possible, and pulled out her favorite purple lipstick. “I’d recommend you finish up quick if you want to join in, cause once I start it’s not stopping until Ruby is afraid for my health. You have three days.”
“Yeah, that sounds about right.” Ruby quickly put the box down on the most immediately available surface. Which happened to be Blake’s ass. “These are for… your kids? I have to assume it’s your kids. Unless you’ve taken over another underground and want conveniently untraceable phones again.”
“I know my ass is mathematically perfect but is it really big enough to be a shelf…?” Blake mumbled, looking back ever so slightly. “... Why my ass? There’s a coffee table right there…”
“Don’t question it, Ruby also did that to my tits whenever she had a reason to.” Yang quietly mumbled as she shrugged out of her kimono top. “Do me a favor, please babe? Deliver those to my Dime?”
There was a grin on her face, and a mine waiting to be set off.
“Your tits are perfectly placed for it.” Ruby grumbled as she pulled at her pants. “You didn’t complain when I did that while making Ember Celica.”
“... Your… Dime…?” Blake asked, looking at Yang oddly. “Wait- don’t tell me-”
“It’s ten Pennies.” Yang’s grin stretched her face, even as she, without turning, swiped a hand against Ruby and completely pulled off her pants and her corset as well. “Y’geddit?”
“Unfortunately, It makes cents to me.” Weiss answered, doing her best not to giggle along with Yang.
“... I want a divorce,” Blake grumbled, palming her face tiredly. “You two are ridiculous.”
“So long as you don’t try and nickel and dime her in court.” Weiss joked as she held her hand out to Yang for a high-five that was swiftly reciprocated.
“Anyway, have fun being a hot bitch.” Yang said, shifting as she applied her lipstick with a pop. “I’ve gotta be a hot bitch in a different way. Uh, do you want to start with foreplay first or just get straight to it and get my lipstick stains on your face?” She turned to Ruby with a raised eyebrow.
“We can get straight to it. I’ve been cock-blocked way too much recently.” Ruby huffed and leaned back. Which conveniently showed off her very much ready cock. “First I get war declared on me and don’t even fight, then my random teammates were complete fucking idiots… ugh.”
“Alright, I know how it is.” Yang softly said even as she pushed Ruby into the bed, leaning over her, and then putting a hand on her hip to look over her shoulder. “Don’t yall have a genie to convince into making you stuff? I know it’s hard to leave but you’ve gotta be a little productive.”
“I could try and use the magic sword that cuts everything but I’d probably end up accidentally stabbing myself, again. Or slicing a hole in time and ending up with a paradoxical duplicate of myself which would be a whole thing . Or some other secret fate that comes with slicing reality and space-time. Like falling into a dimension that only plays Baby Shark.” Weiss rambled. “So whenever Blake’s ready I guess.”
“Sorry, I’m a little torn between joining Yang between Ruby’s legs and actually getting things done right now,” Blake mumbled, fanning herself lightly. “A-anyway… before I lose my nerve…”
One hand flashed out, carving a hole into spacetime. The other snapped its fingers, and summoned a doppelganger to join Yang. “You two have fun with my doppelganger, I’m gonna go before I lose my nerve! Weiss, c’mon!”
And with that, she hopped through the portal without a single look back.
“Later ya’ll,” Weiss gave them a mock salute as she fell back first through the hole in reality.
On the other side she fell directly into a field of grass. “Damn, my one true weakness.” She muttered to herself.
“I don’t think you can say that anymore, all four of us go outside with pretty regular frequency,” Blake pointed out, taking the time to deliberately land in a crouch above Weiss’ face, all but straddling her and revealing that she was not, in fact, wearing underwear. “... Do you wanna stay laying down there or do you want me to move?”
“Ah yes, my other one true weakness.” Weiss parroted. “We should probably go get the staff, it's magic and can make anything .” She winked to accentuate her point. “Well theoretically anything, but I’m pretty sure Ambrosious would be happy to make a kinky sex dungeon pocket dimension for a bit.”
“The only problem is making sure Atlas doesn’t fall into the lake and kill everyone on it,” Blake sighed, slowly standing up and making a show of stepping away from Weiss. “It’s not that I don’t trust Yang’s flame clouds, but honestly if she’s getting railed I don’t trust them to stay stable and not vanish. And, unfortunately, I can’t keep a city floating in the air. Sorta. It’d take more power than I’d like.”
“We can use the Gravity Dust? No that wouldn’t work…” Weiss muttered to herself. “We can just put it in the lake and turn Atlas into a floating island.”
“... With enough Earth Dust we could probably connect it to the bottom of the lake,” Blake mused, tapping her chin. “Only problem is that it’d be hard to do it without breaking a bunch of stuff. Eh, who cares, probably the best method anyway. Right- you grab the Staff, and then we get Ambrosius to lower Atlas gently into the lake so it can still float… and then we move the CCT tower to Menagerie.”
“Sounds like a plan.” Weiss grinned.
Chapter 63: Vytal Season - The Great Menagerie CCT Tower
Chapter by CyberQueen_Jolyne, InternecionWitch, The_Mad_Mystic
Chapter Text
“Blake, what is this?”
“Oh, hi dad!” Blake sorta yelped and turned around, grinning awkwardly and waving at her father as he approached. “This” turned out to be the mobile, floating monolith that was Menagerie’s new CCT tower, freshly yanked out of Atlas Academy and encased in a shell made by the Staff of Creation. She cleared her throat, doing her best to look modest in a dress that absolutely was not made for modesty, then shuffled awkwardly behind Weiss. “So uh… we may have done… some stuff… a-and now um… tadaaa~! Menagerie has its own CCT tower now that Atlas is gone! A-also this is Weiss! She’s mine and Yang’s girlfriend!”
Weiss gave a little wave to the visibly confused Ghira. “Hi Mr. Belladonna, it's nice to meet you. After Yang ripped Atlas away from Mantle the CCT tower needed moving and we figured Menagerie was as good a spot as any.”
“I… see… and… they won’t try to take it… back…?” Ghira asked, pursing his lips thoughtfully and staring up at the tower a little harder, as if trying to identify any signs of Atlesian aesthetics to the now Menagerie themed floating tower. Which mostly just meant that it had nice brass filigree and lots of nice reds going on. “And… why are you wearing that dress? Is it prom time already?”
Blake blushed, doing her best to hide behind Weiss… very unsuccessfully. “I um… was just trying to look nice for Weiss. Please don’t look into it too much.”
“I don’t think there's much of anyone left to take it back. The entire chain of command is in chaos, Atlas itself is rusting in the middle of a massive saltwater lake, and anyone left is probably smart enough to realize trying to steal it back would just shut down global communications again.” Weiss elaborated. “Also you look very nice Blake thank you.” She whispered to her girlfriend as she gave Blake a little pat on the head.
“Yey,” Blake purred, ears visibly fluttering as Weiss patted her head.
“Mm… well, if you’re sure… restoring global communications will only be a good thing, and with the tower right here in our backyard… metaphorically speaking… maybe now Menagerie will finally have network speeds fast enough to actually watch Webflix consistently,” Ghira laughed a little, chuckling at his own joke. “Well… you two must be tired from the long trip- Blake, how have you been? You never told us you had a second girlfriend!”
“Three, actually,” Blake murmured, clinging onto Weiss and nuzzling her cheek against the shorter girl’s shoulder. “Yang, Weiss, and Ruby. And… well… I guess I was just waiting for you guys to get used to Yang first and then forgot to mention Weiss.”
She paused, clearing her throat. “... Entire team.”
Ghira nodded wisely. “Entire team.”
“Entire team’s parents.” Qrow spoke up, stepping out from behind Ghira, an exceedingly smug smirk on his face.
“Qrow, Qrow, please don’t tell me you fucked Jacques. Please. Please tell me it was my mom.” Weiss stared at her sort of uncle-in-law with a desperate look.
“Of fucking course he fucked your mom, Weiss…” Blake sighed, groaning and palming her face tiredly. “Qrow’s entire gimmick is being a whore at this point.”
“I don’t want to hear that from any of you. And I said parents, not sperm donors.” Qrow clarified. “Now Klein, on the other hand…” He shrugged, still grinning.
Blake… blinked a few times, staring at Qrow oddly. “... You fucked Weiss’ butler? ”
She paused, frowning slightly. “... Well I guess he deserves a happy ending more than Jacques got.”
“Klein is the closest thing I had to father. He did all the dad things for me that my sperm donor should have.” Weiss reminisced. “I need to remember to do something for fathers day for him.”
“Listen, I’ve been pretty clear about my goals here.” Qrow pointed out, glancing at Ghira. “As the adult of us all, I think I can be excused.”
“... Fuck you and the horse you rode in on, you still fucked both of my parents and I’m never forgiving you for that,” Blake grumbled, glaring at Qrow with a melodramatic huff. “Especially if you don’t intend to commit after all you’ve done already.”
“Young lady, your mother and I are perfectly capable of making our own decisions regarding that matter-” Ghira sort of spluttered a little, not at all ready for such a frank discussion of who had sex with who and if they were committing to a relationship or not. Well, not sober at least. “Just… can we go back to the house? The wind is going to pick up soon and you are not dressed for the weather.”
Blake pouted. “Fine. But if Qrow decides to ghost either of you I’m going to figure out how to permanently castrate him and make it stick.”
“Brutal, but fair.” Weiss hummed. “Not really sure about the logistics of how but it's a magic sword that cuts anything.”
“...You know, sometimes I really just want to kick you in the face, but I’m also aware that neither Ghira nor Kali would appreciate that.” Qrow sighed. “In any case, sure, let’s head in.”
And so they did. Fortunately, Blake had a change of clothes in her room so she wasn’t about to accidentally flash her bits at everyone with a wrong move. Unfortunately, it meant that she could no longer tease Weiss with how well her dress clung to her ass, but a tank top and pajama pants were a decent enough substitute for now. Mostly. Plus, kitty slippers. Because of course she did.
“Okay, so, aside from the talk of you fucking my parents,” Blake stated once they were all seated inside, sipping at a mug of tea and looking at no one in particular. “Mom, dad, the new CCT tower on the edge of the city is basically self powering and self maintaining… mostly. There’s an entrance at the bottom of the tower where the landing pad is… though, now that I think about it, maybe we should have asked if there was any kind of airship service down here…”
Ghira pursed his lips. “There is not, no.”
Blake sighed. “Yeah, that tracks. It’s okay, we can get some for the area- it’s not like Atlas can afford to tell you no now that the city’s stranded in Lake Matsu and Kuo Kuana holds the CCT tower now.”
“I left a couple manuals in there, printed out and digital copies on everything, just in case. There’s manual overrides for everything, just in case.” Weiss paused as she handed a USB drive to Ghira. “This has the master security key on it and a copy of the blueprints. You shouldn’t need to use it since it’ll run on its own but keep hold of it just in case something goes wrong.”
“Ah- thank you, young lady,” Ghira nodded, taking the drive from Weiss carefully and putting it down on the table so he wouldn’t lose it.
“If it mostly runs on its own… how long do we have until the next maintenance cycle, dear?” Kali asked, looking towards Blake curiously.
“Should be… without any really bad storms going on during the summer…” Blake chewed her lip thoughtfully, counting off on her fingers. “Accounting for signal usage and the distances involved, plus the stress and wear and tear of data transmission and storage, plus daily usage if you build a call center down near the base… should be ten years without maintenance, twenty five if it’s low volume traffic, for the most part. Check on it… when you have the facilities and people to actually do maintenance properly, within the next two or three years, I’d say? Just in case.”
“In the meantime if something actively fails it’ll do its best to ping me.” Weiss tapped the side of her head. “But if anything is seriously physically wrong, like it starts sinking into the ground or something, call us. We’ll sort it. Also I can set it up so it will also give diagnostics to your scroll, or you can use the key I gave you to set it up for you and anyone else you want to have access.”
“I’ll be around as well, so don’t worry too much.” Qrow shook his head. Sure, he wasn’t originally a mechanic, but he was fairly certain he’d eaten a few dozen at some point. “Though, what’d you guys do with the artifact thingy?”
“It’s uhhh… safe,” Blake deflected, waving her hand idly. “Somewhere no one will find it. Pretty much. Anyway, where’s Auntie Sienna, I would have thought she’d be-”
“WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO ATLAS!?” a very frazzled looking Sienna Khan shouted, busting into the living room as if she’d sprinted all the way to the Belladonna household from wherever she’d been moments prior. “WHY IS THERE A CCT TOWER OUTSIDE THE CITY!? AND WHO STOLE ALL THE BOOZE OUT OF MY HOUSE!?”
“Guilty~” Kali grinned shamelessly, sticking her tongue out at Blake’s so-called auntie. “Come over here and find out what I did with it, kitten~”
“Oh god, old woman yuri,” Blake muttered weakly, looking away from the fact that her mother was flirting with Sienna right in front of her. “I wasn’t prepared for this.”
“Weiss, I saw a CCT tower outside and my new boss is freaking out about it. What have you been up to?” Winter asked as she came in alongside Sienna.
Qrow glanced at Winter, then back to Weiss, before grinning slyly. “ Ice to see you again, Winter.”
“ You .” Winter spat with venom. “Weiss, what is that creature doing here?”
“If you fight in my parents’ house and break even a millimeter of the tile floor, I’m dumping both of you three hundred miles from shore,” Blake declared, staring at Winter more than Qrow.
Qrow leveled a dull stare at Blake, before turning back to Winter and pointing at Blake with his thumb. “Her parents.”
“Just as crude as I remember.” Winter growled.
“Schnee. Behave,” Sienna huffed, locking one hand onto Winter’s shoulder with an authoritative tone. “Remember that we’re guests in this house.”
Winter let out a deep breath in an attempt to calm down. “Yes ma’am.” She agreed before addressing Qrow. “I suppose in retrospect you had certain, points, about Atlas that I now agree with and it's bad manners to fight here so, truce?”
Qrow chuckled, nodding. “Of course. Though I’m surprised to hear you offer it after my last trip to Atlas.”
“You were passed out drunk in General Ironwood’s office. You pissed on his desk.” Winter deadpanned. “Although again in retrospect, he kind of deserved it.”
“I wasn’t passed out.” Qrow clarified. “But no, I meant last time, when I… Wait.” He turned to Weiss. “Does she not know?”
“Nope.” Weiss bluntly clarified.
“Huh…” Qrow hummed, thinking on how best to break it to Winter. He snapped his fingers, raising a hand to show off. As he did so, it split into organic tendrils that writhed like octopus limbs. “Did you know I can become a sort of tentacle monster?”
“I- no? Although considering the state of Remnant recently I should stop being surprised.” Winter hummed as she tried to figure out where he was going with this.
“Your mom does.” Qrow was gone the moment he finished speaking, vanishing out the door in a flash.
Winter blinked, and stood there frozen. Weiss reached up with her hand and snapped her fingers in front of her sister's face a few times but there was no reaction. “Oh damn, he broke her.” she muttered to herself.
“How come he never used that on you?” Kali muttered, thumping Ghira’s shoulder with a petulant little pout. “Hmph. He’s been holding out on us.”
“Indeed,” Ghira grumbled, crossing his arms a little irritably and huffing just as much. “We’ll need to have a talk with him about that… and… perhaps send an invitation to Mrs. Schnee?”
“M-mom!? Dad!?” Blake yelped, jolting away from the table. “What the fuck!? In front of my matcha!?”
“They haven’t changed a bit,” Sienna sighed, watching the two of them stand up and hurry after Qrow. “... Actually… wait you two! I want in on this!”
“Auuuuuuugggghhhh…” Blake groaned, slumping onto the floor in utter defeat. “Why are there so many horny old people in my liiiiife?”
Winter fell backwards onto the floor, still completely and utterly frozen.
“They really broke Winter.” Weiss hummed. “There there Blake. It's gonna be okay, just try not to think about it too hard.” She wrapped her arms around Blake in her time of greatest need.
Blake didn’t much respond, just groaning even more in disgust. “Uuuuuuugggghhhh…”
Chapter 64: Vytal Festival - Cup ramen and dresses.
Chapter Text
“Baaaaabe~ I need your opinion~! Do you want me in something slinky and sexy for the dance, or should I go with something more elegant and flowy, since my parents are gonna be there too?” Blake asked, holding up two entirely different outfits that somehow managed to stay steady on the hangers they were on. One was, of course, a slim, sexy evening dress the kind of which one might wear to a black tie party and had just enough room and enough of a thigh slit to get pushed up around one’s hips whilst getting railed in the bathroom. The other was a flowing, elegant, layered hanfu style set of robes that honestly wouldn’t have looked out of place in a medieval fantasy court drama show. Both of which were largely in shades of black, white, and purple with golden trim and accents. “Oh, or should I go for a third look and wear a nice suit instead?”
“You’d look nice in a suit.” Yang mumbled, blinking a bit as she went through several different choices for what she would be wearing, and frowning a bit. “I’d say the suit. And then you don’t have to worry about it bunching up. Me meanwhile, I have to find something nice that’ll fit my girls. My tits. Not my Pennies.” She said after a moment, and then threw down a pure white dress with a huff. “They don’t care about ladies that breast boobily in the dress department, I’ll tell you that much.”
“They really don’t… also I don’t think white’s really your color?” Blake tilted her head, pursing her lips at the dress that Yang had just thrown. “It’s cute, I mean, but I think you’d look great in a couple shades of… sunflower, maybe? Or sunset. Like, saturated vibrant colors… maybe a few purple accents?”
“You left pure white behind a while ago.” Ruby hummed as she… sat on the bed and didn’t look through a bunch of outfits. “I keep telling you to just sit down with a tailor. You have enough money to do it and it’d mean not worrying about trying on a dress that rips the moment it contacts your abs. Again.”
“I’m with Blake on this, any kind of yellow would look good on you Yang. Especially a sunset.” Weiss reiterated. “White is, it wouldn’t be bad but it could be better? It just feels like it would kind of mute you, ya know?”
“Hey, that only happened the one time…” Yang mumbled in mild embarrassment, before digging out a few other dresses. “And it doesn’t help that most of my ‘life time dresses’ don’t account for my fucking growth spurts…” Giving up the ghost, Yang stood up with a sigh and draped herself across the bed, pouting up at Ruby for a moment before switching her attention to Blake. “Fine. I’ll let you get me tailored for a new dress. And… ugh. You can pick what it looks like.”
“Oooh, that means I get to dress you up~!” Blake cheered, clapping her hands together excitedly. “I promise I’ll make you look absolutely gorgeous. Oh, what do you think about an updo? Maybe a loose ponytail, fluff the hair a little so it frames the face just so… I’ll have to talk to an actual stylist, but I think you’ll look amazing no matter what… though, the hard part’s definitely gonna be shaping a dress properly around your tits. They are just… massive, y’know? The shaping gets complicated the bigger the tits are, but I think we can make it work.”
“If you put me in a corset I will flex.” Yang threatened. Or ‘threatened’ really. But it would definitely ruin the object entirely. “There’s a reason I stick with the kimono top, and it’s not just because it frames my titties wonderfully.”
“Oh to have some people’s problems.” Weiss muttered while she stared at her less than large breasts.
“You’re nearly eighty percent metal.” Ruby waved a hand as she stared at Weiss. “I can personally build you inflatable laser tits. With all the stuff shoved into your head it wouldn’t be hard to make them bigger inverse to your IQ. Give you a bimbo mode if you really want it.”
“Inflatable laser tits is, definitely an idea.” Weiss gaped at Ruby. “Fuck it, why not. Clearly it can only end well. I’ll pass on the bimbo mode though, sorry.”
“I’d take a bimbo mode if I could get one,” Blake sighed, swooning melodramatically onto a fainting couch that she’d bought specifically for that purpose. “I have too many thoughts and my head is so full, it’d be nice to turn off the brain and be a picture perfect slutty bimbo housewife for a while.”
“Maybe? There are spells and curses for it. I don’t think mechanical would work with your regeneration, but I haven’t seen your magic resistance.” Ruby hummed and rummaged around in her cloak. “I might have some cursed loot around here. By virtue of being an Eldritch Abomination I’m immune to… basically everything that doesn’t specifically target ‘Abominations’ or ‘Things Beyond the Stars’, so I’ve got a lot of random cursed things around.”
“Do not.” Yang flatly said. “My wife is too brainy to have them leak out of her dick.”
Blake just blushed, crossing her legs a little. “Honey please don’t say things that remind me of my varied and exotic list of kinks. Now I’m thinking of going bimbo mode by literally cumming so hard it makes me stupid and it’s all your fault.”
“Be hot.” Yang mumbled, but then shook her head. “But not allowed. You’re the brains of my operation, and I refuse to let you be a ditzy bimbo. The fetish kind, not the airhead.” She pointed to the roof, and then rolled, flopping off the bed after a moment. “In the meantime… Ruby? You know I love you.” She said sweetly as she leant into Ruby’s personal space. “So very much. You know that, right?”
“If Blake wants bimbo mode then that's what she wants.” Ruby pulled out a… very lewd metal rod. It was just… a straight rod? How did it feel like the result of a football locker room orgy after the cheerleaders wanted to give a present for winning the finals match for the championship? “I think this could fuck you that hard, Blake, but it might go a bit too hard. You’re very smart, but this is… very bimbo. Might have to visit a wizard. I always hate going to lewd wizards. They always have pocket dimensions they want me to enter in order to buy from them and they always insist. Despite the fact that I inherently break pocket dimensions .”
“I see you’re ignoring me.” Yang said with a smile as she trailed her fingers up Ruby’s leg. “I had a very interesting conversation with Neo, the other day. So many fascinating things… Things you told her, too.”
“What? I thought you were trying to make me not give Blake the bimbo stuff.” Ruby tilted her head. “I’m going to have to punish Neo. You’d think a mute girl wouldn’t have such loose lips. I must’ve not fucked her hard enough.”
“Babe, if Blake wants it badly enough to use it, there’s nothing I can do to stop her.” Yang said with a hum, and then focused back on what she was talking about. “But, Ruby. I love you. And if I have to break into the remnants of that Nightmare for you to realize that there’s nowhere in the universe you can hide from me, I will. Okay?”
“Okay?” Ruby blinked. “I won’t be able to stay here because it will actively hurt me . You already know how to get to Inkopolis.”
“Ruby, we both know that you were talking about leaving with the dawn. I’m not stupid.” Yang shook her head, and then paused. “Okay. Caveat. I am stupid. But I know how you think. Either way, you’re not ditching me ever. I refuse.” She said firmly, and then cuddled up with Ruby’s body and swapped up entirely, looking entirely like an unhappy felinid creature. “Not allowed to leave me.”
“... I’m not letting you ditch me either,” Blake immediately added her own contribution, taking the time to join Yang and Ruby’s cuddle pile. “... Also I’m only gonna take a bimbo option if it’s got an off button someone else can use, I don’t wanna be dumb and horny forever.”
“Too late Ruby, you’re stuck with us until the sun blows up, and probably even past that.” Weiss added as she joined the pile of bodies.
“I’m pretty sure I helped a bug stab the sun to death once.” Ruby smiled softly. “Little hunter. Anyway!” Ruby shook her head. “I need conflict and violence. I get itchy just at the mall and can’t shop for more than a couple hours usually. So one day the Grimm will be gone and Remnant will see the sun fully rise. Then I will be gone, because it’ll hurt if I don’t. And you’ll stay here, mostly. Because you have families and parents and friends and stuff. Inkopolis isn’t far, but it will be a long time before you’ll claim it as home . If ever.” She blinked. “Also, yes. Of course. I’d never give a bimbo option that couldn’t be turned off. That’s just common sense.”
“Yeah, but we’d be pretty shit girlfriends if we didn’t follow our collective wife on her important journeys to places where she’s comfortable,” Blake pointed out dryly, poking Ruby’s shoulder for emphasis. “That said. We’ve got more than enough time to deliberate that later. Right now, all of us need to figure out what we’re wearing for the Dance… and also the festival around the Dance. Because it’s in like, a week. And even if I personally hand tailor all of our outfits to be a matching team effort, we still do need to get it done preferably today. Unless you’re all willing to just let me dress you all up in lieu of hiring a professional stylist.”
“I am perfectly willing to just let you dress me all up because I have no idea what I’m doing.” Weiss deadpanned. “Like none, whatsoever. Please help me.”
“Ruby, I am literally willing to fight you for days at a time.” Yang hummed, rubbing her face against her sister’s chest. “Seriously, I am the Raid Boss. And you don’t have an uber specific weapon needed to knock me out of the sky so you can fight me, like some of the other bosses you’d have to fight. I can help with your jitters, and we can end that hunt with a serrated cleaver embedded in my shoulder, quicksilver bullets pinging off my body, my club having ripped off one of your arms, and we’d still have excellent sex afterward. It’d be fun.”
“Where… did any of that come from?” Ruby just shook her head and turned to Blake. “If you need anything fancy I know people. And they’re terrified of me, so it’ll be done fast and perfect. Seriously. Anything. They’re very good at their jobs.”
“It came from my heart.” Yang giggled softly. “That and it’s fun. Only reason I died was I had a twelve hour fight, got my stomach ripped open by my kid, and then had the run-back with a white haired cartoon character punching me into the planet’s core. And not to offend, Rubes, you’re powerful, but most of your stuff is God stuff. I can survive god stuff. Pretty handily, actually. But I say it because I care about you, I’ve got incredibly bad separation anxiety, and the idea of you ever deciding you could leave me is ridiculous.”
After a pointed moment, Yang then shrugged. “Besides. Not like I have anything really tethering me to Remnant aside from you three. And technically team 5NPR I guess. And my corpse rock.”
Ruby raised a finger. “First, I am not a god. We’ve been over this. Second, what about Taiyang?”
“Firstly, Ruby you can manifest any weapon that a Hunter has used, whether your hunters or not, create an entire dimension, and transform your body without issues which I very much appreciate when you’re up inside my guts,” Yang grinned, and then pushed herself up. “Secondly… Taiyang’s only just started being a person, recently, and I was already going to leave Patch a long time ago. He’s getting better, but…” She shrugged, mildly sad but unbothered by it.
“Also, y’know. Yamato,” Blake pointed out dryly. “Not like we can’t visit if we move on and out of this universe. Just… pointing that out. Though, by the time all the Grimm are actually gone off the face of the planet, pretty much everyone we care about now will probably be dead anyway.”
She paused, then turned to Weiss. “... Hey Weiss, do you think your blood drinking counteracts your aging process?”
“Maybe?” Weiss hummed and put a hand on her face as she considered it. “It’s, Semblances are weird. And I’ve definitely grown in the two years since I unlocked it, but aging isn’t growing. It's… probable that my semblance would recognize aging as damage, but I can’t really think of a way to be sure beyond waiting until I’m thirty.”
“Didn’t Ruby already make us immortal?” Yang asked, and then grinned at Ruby. “Another point for section one, by the way.”
“Immortal or not, If ya’ll are going off to hop between dimensions I’m coming with. Even if I have to go upload my brain into a computer and badger Ambrosius until he gives me a portal gun or something.” Weiss stated.
“Well that clears that up. We’re coming with you when you inevitably have to leave Remnant, hon,” Blake smiled, patting Ruby gently. “If you’ll have us, at least.”
“Yang. Stop. I am not a god. I get no power from worship. I can give no power to worshipers. I am bound to a theoretical ideal in order to ground my greater body against the cold unreality in which I dwell. More importantly- I do not want to be a god . And to speak things is to give them form. So.” Ruby glared at Yang. “ Stop . Also, yes, Blake. I’d love to have you. Do you want a company? Because I think the bear I got is doing something stupid soon.”
“Fine, you’re not a god.” Yang said with a huff, grinning. “Still, my point was that you can do things that are normally at that level. And that includes making us incredibly long lived so we can stay with you forever, if not immortal. And I love you.” She giggled, and then blinked. “I’M AN IDIOT! THE INKLINGS! I CAN GET MY SHIT DONE THERE!”
“... Oh yeah…” Blake made a little face of realization, trailing off slowly and rubbing her chin. “... So, all in favor of buying our prom outfits from Inkopolis to save me from having to learn how to do high level tailoring in the span of three hours?”
“Yeah that’s good.” Ruby gave a thumbs up. “They always make the freshest stuff.”
“Works for me.” Weiss hummed.
“Hooray!” Yang cheered.
Life was good for Team RWBY.
“Oh, karaoke! I forgot I made space for a karaoke section!” Blake gasped, immediately grabbing Weiss and starting to drag her away. “C’mon Weissicle, let’s go sing Hatsune Miku songs!”
“Yes. But don’t make me sing ‘The Disappearance of Hatsune Miku’ .” Weiss muttered. “Tried that once and it made my vocal chords explode.”
And like that, the two of them were gone, leaving Yang and Ruby standing there in the middle of the festival grounds with nothing to do except enjoy the festivities, listen to the assorted music performances scattered around, and maybe play festival games and get food.
Shifting the neckline of her dress a bit, Yang let out a soft sigh. “Well… do you want to play any of the games here, Rubes?”
“We can’t. We’re banned.” Ruby raised an eyebrow. “Don’t you remember? We cleared out that massive plushy booth one year and they decided to just give us whatever prize we ask for, once a festival, in order to ban us from grabbing every prize we want.”
“Oh yeah…” Yang mumbled, rubbing the side of her head. “I did forget that, actually. I didn’t tend to go to most of the festivals after because they weren’t as fun. Oh well… Um… Anything else you wanna do?”
“We should visit Three and Eight. Maybe the Squid Sisters or Off the Hook if they aren’t doing anything we can’t interrupt. It’s been too long.” Ruby hummed. “I really thought Pearl would show up more… Unless she’s just been popping in when I’m not around?”
“I haven’t seen her recently, but sometimes when I’m walking into the main room I’ll see someone with white and pink hair vanish into JNPR’s room.” Yang offered. “Probably just hanging up with Pyrrha and Jean.”
Without even thinking about it, Yang took a turn toward the dorm rooms, rolling her shoulder. “Well. I’m out of ideas. No games, food’s kinda crap, Blake and Weiss are singing and I’m pretty sure if I voice crack it’ll break the machine…”
“They’re built tough, but not that tough.” Ruby hummed as she looked out over the festival. “Wonder why the food’s bad though. Last time we had the whole… thing.”
Yang blinked, scratching her chin, and then blinked. “Ah. I think that’s a consequence of us taking out Atlas. Not as much money potential, so they paid for less expensive things.”
“Possibly. Or they skimped because it's festival food.” Ruby perked up. “Oh, it’s that old guy that does literally every job under the sun. He’s got a ramen booth this year. That’ll be good.”
“Ramen can be nice.” Yang nodded. “We could grab a couple bowls and then go back to our dorm room? Or we could go to one of my houses. The dress was nice but this dance was kinda… eh.”
“We can head back to the dorm. We probably should be around just in case someone tries something stupid.” Ruby narrowed her eyebrows. “I think we’re… oh. Oh. We need to welcome the Menagerie people here. And also maybe ferry some of them? Did Blake handle the Bullhead? I think I sent her to do that…”
“Blake has that covered, Ruby.” Yang pointed out, looking at all the Blake doppelgangers rushing around. “More than has it covered. Sides,” she lowered her voice. “I’ve got a hankering to be filled. So we can get ramen, go somewhere quiet, enjoy some time… Probably ruin this dress entirely, since unlike you, I don’t get that magical clothes fixing… I dunno. Any ideas after that?”
“Something will happen eventually. Or maybe we can grab whatever is in the vault in Vacuo.” Ruby shrugged. “I should talk with tree grandma sometime. See how she wants her kids dealt with.”
“Maybe hotdog style.” Yang mumbled with a chuckle as they made it to the ramen vendor. Naturally, Yang took a few bowls extra. And then two more for Blake and Weiss.
Life was good for Ruby Rose and Yang Xiao-Long.
Chapter 65: Vytal Season: Blush Swiped Neatly (Ruby 16)
Chapter by Argo_The_Rat
Chapter Text
“Ilia! Over here!”
“Blake! It’s been so long!” One Ilia Amitola appeared through the crowd of Menagerie arrivals, freshly dressed up in true Huntsman gear instead of her scrounged up White Fang issue uniform and leading a team of her own. She also led a few other teams through the crowd alongside her- four in total- as well as Ghira and Kali Belladonna, along with Sienna Khan and Winter Schnee. Qrow Branwen was absent, but he was probably off drinking somewhere anyway. Raven had also failed to show, probably because she hadn’t left Patch. “How are you?”
“A lot better than I was with Adam, that’s for sure,” Blake answered Ilia, catching the ponytailed girl in a hug and spinning her around a little. “Are you doing okay? How’s everything with the Fang? And uh-”
She paused, motioning to Ruby and Weiss. “These are my teammates, before I forget to introduce them. Ruby Rose, Weiss Schnee, and… Yang is uh… nnnnapping. Yeah. That’s what she’s doing. Totally.”
Ilia blinked, eyeing Blake suspiciously. “... Sure. I’ll believe that. I guess I should introduce you to my team too…”
She stepped back, motioning towards her… well dressed but unfortunately generic looking teammates. “Blake, this is Royale Wisteria, Diamond Bright, and Thistle Nettle.”
One by one, the other three Faunus awkwardly waved, and vaguely introduced themselves like they had no idea what to really say at this point. All three of them, and Ilia, also had patches on their outfits that looked like claw marks, showing their allegiance to the White Fang.
Blake just waved back equally as awkwardly, clearing her throat. “Nice to meet all of you. Uh… Ruby, do you wanna handle the rest of this introduction? I’m a little too introverted for this.”
“Sure.” Ruby stepped forward with a wave. “I’m Ruby Rose, to be clear and Blake’s team leader. We scared Atlas into a horrible breakdown together, and that’s why you’re here. Don’t worry about messing up or causing Menagerie to look bad. There is very little you could do that’d cause anyone to look at you badly in comparison to Atlas.”
“Told you guys.” A rather tall fox Faunus with a very large tail huffed. She looked like a slut. “They almost didn’t take me! ‘Conduct unbecoming’... feh. I’m Argo Waiporoporo, leader of team AZUR! I heard there are supposed to be parties going on? And some sort of demonstration of traditional whatever.”
“If we can get away with War Crimes you should be able to get away with whatever.” Weiss shrugged. “Also hi, I’m Weiss, reluctant expert on how terrible Atlas was, good riddance to it. There’s the official school festival and then there's the one we’re doing outside with blackjack and hookers. Our headmaster has given up on stopping us.”
Argo snapped her fingers. “You’re the one that got kicked out of the Schnee, right? High five!” She raised a hand which Weiss slapped. “And if you want anything else later… come and find me.” She winked.
“Yup, that one. Good riddance honestly. Killing the bastard was the most cathartic thing I’ve ever done.” Weiss reminisced. “I might have to take you up on that later…”
“That’d be just perfect .” She leaned forward with a very obvious bounce. “We can talk about so many things.”
“Right.” Argo got gently shoved to the side as a… something. What was her trait? It didn’t look like she had one. “Zaffre Edelweiss. I’m her second, and not in that way. So if you’re interested in scheduling some training or something and not doing it in bed, just ask me. The other two,” she pointed a thumb at a girl that might be a badger Faunus and another that looked like she is, somehow , a rainbow Faunus considering the literal rainbow that seemed to be perpetually shining out from her underhair, “are Umber and Ruby.”
“If your team leader tries to poach my girlfriend I’m just putting it out there that we’re kind of a package deal,” Blake deadpanned flatly, clinging onto Weiss from behind. “And by we, I mean all of Team RWBY.”
Argo snapped her fingers and pointed at Blake. “That’s perfect .”
Ruby just stared at Ruby. “You’re Spinel now.” Spinel nodded, her hair floating behind the movement giving an odd weight to the action as rainbows shined and flowed into existence. “Perfect. Confusion averted.”
“I see we’ve concluded who the superior Ruby is as well,” Blake murmured, pointedly not looking at Argo and trying very hard to not blush at the fox woman’s implications. “This is going well.”
“The only real way to settle that is mouth to mouth combat.” Argo chuckled and rolled her shoulders. “I’ve been trying, but Ru- Spinel isn’t the best at it yet. We really need to get you a last name, y’know?”
“I know… it’s just so hard to pick a good one. My kids are going to have it!” Spinel sighed. “It has to be perfect!”
“You could try getting one- mm… no.” Waiting for a husband is probably a bad idea there. A last name is Important. Not as much as a first name, but it’s still part of you. More in the sense of what you want to leave to the future, and what came behind, but still important. She should figure out one for herself. “I can bring you somewhere if you want help. Inkopolis tradition means most of them pick a new last name often enough there's a lot of writing about it.”
It’s created some absolutely nuts hyphenated names, but it’s interesting. Ruby didn’t even have any hand in that. It just… started one day after the Great Turf War. A kid moved out and wanted to not be connected to his old name. Which prompted others to do it. And so on and on. Almost tradition now to have an original name, a turfing name, and eventually a married name. Which could be the same or different in all stages and used slightly interchangeably.
“Oh, right, I should probably show my parents around,” Blake mumbled somewhat incongruously with the rest of the conversation, clearing her throat and sauntering off to do just that. “I’ll be back later!”
And with that, the catwife left the scene.
“It’s a shame for her to walk away, but I love seeing her leave.” Argo chuckled as she watched Blake saunter up to her parents and lead them away.
“Yes, yes it is.” Weiss muttered as she stared at the same place as Argo. “So, any big plans while in Vale? Other than the tournament I mean.”
“Hang around, buy some things, see the city. It’s expensive to head out here from Menagerie so I want to make the most of it.” Argo waved a hand. “If things keep going the way they are it’ll probably be easier soon, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t use the opportunity. Especially if I can get my hands on some better grade Dust. Lots of stuff I’ve been meaning to try out that I couldn’t ‘cause the purity was shit.”
“Good news, ever since Atlas became Atlantis prices have dropped significantly. Without all the ludicrous salaries, embezzlement, and personal stockpiling the overhead was cut down to a sliver of what it used to be.” Weiss grinned. “Mantle has just continued mining and shipping it except now it's entirely employee owned.”
“Sounds great. Still take a bit for that to filter over to Menagerie, but if I can take advantage of it here it’ll be enough.” Argo sighed and gave Weiss a side glance. “Want to head out and talk about it? You can show me some of your favorite spots.”
“Sure.” Weiss agreed.
“Right.” Ruby nodded and turned to the other ten people who’d just… been awkwardly watching the flirting. “Since Blake left I’ll take charge of showing you around. Also- if you,” she pointed at Sienna, “encounter any problems just tell one of us. We’ll handle it.”
“I can handle my own problems.” Sienna raised an eyebrow. “But it’s good of you to offer.”
“Anything for Blake’s… aunt thing? I dunno what it is exactly. I forgot.” Ruby shrugged. “I just know she isn’t interested in me seducing you. Which is terrible, because you’re very attractive and also the leader of a violent organization that can personally kick ass. Which makes it better.”
Nobody seemed to know quite what to say to that. Though Sienna did look flattered.
Hopefully that didn’t cause an awkward conversation for Blake later.
Or maybe it will. Sienna was very attractive. So. If she was interested Ruby was not going to say no.
“So, Beacon was built by someone probably in the middle of a nervous, paranoid breakdown. Pay close attention because nothing is where you expect it to be and half the doors can only be opened from one side.” Ruby spun and strode forward. “If you need to reorient yourself I’m going to show you the cafeteria. It’s a big outdoor building, so you can just jump out a window and find it to figure out where you are…”
The tour meandered through the entire area and finally ended at the headmaster’s office. Partly because it sorta happened that way and partly because Ozpin should be the person they meet at the end of the tour. Just made sense.
“Welcome, all of you, to Beacon Academy. It is my pleasure to have Menagerie take the place it should have had long ago in the Vytal Festival.” Ozpin nodded at them as he stood in front of the doors. A check showed the distinct glow of Glynda manipulating something coming from something under the back of his shirt. Good to see he didn’t somehow suddenly manage to become sober. That might signal him trying to move and it’d be a disaster. “Owing to the… circumstances under which you’ve all been invited I’m afraid I have to place you into the area formerly marked for Atlas. Traditionally you would be given your own area to decorate as you see fit and serve as your base for any multi-Kingdom collaborations and that will be rectified as soon as we can manage. In the meantime, please don’t hesitate to request amendments or additional items to assist in keeping you all comfortable.”
“The festival itself will be beginning next week, at the beginning of the week. I again apologize for the lack of time to settle yourselves, but delaying any further would cause significant issues to the education of those not from Vale. Undoubtedly you will long for your own facilities in time, so I beg your patience for this.” Ozpin sighed. “Also, Ms. Rose, I will need to speak with you at your earliest convenience about Team RWBY’s entry into the Vytal Festival. As well as Team CMEN.”
Someone chuckled.
“That is part of the issue, yes.” Ozpin shook his head. “Regardless, welcome. Welcome to the Vytal Festival!”
Ruby gave the clapping a moment to subside and stepped up. “You’re all free to head where you want and do what you want, bar illegal things. Remember- it’s only illegal if you get caught.” She frowned. “If you hurt someone else, you will get caught. Don’t test it. Your scrolls should already have a map of the area and if you meet with Yang she’ll give you an addition to the map if you’re looking for anything that wouldn’t normally be advertised.”
What else, what else? Hmm…
That seemed to be it?
Ah, if she forgot anything it probably wasn’t actually important anyway.
“With that, you’re free to go.”
The group nodded and began to meander off. One of them even gave Ruby a wave!
Hm.
What was that one’s- oh.
Oh damnit.
She forgot to get their names!
That was… probably going to be very awkward at some point in the future. Ugh. Maybe she could dodge most of them until they got announced in the Festival? It wouldn’t take all that long.
“Ms. Rose?” Ruby blinked and turned to Ozpin. “If you have no other priorities at the moment, we do need to speak about your team and the other team.”
“Oh, right.” Ruby flipped out her scroll. “Lemme just get Blake over here and we can get right on that.”
Chapter 66: Vytal Season - Oops, Actual Consequences
Chapter by Argo_The_Rat, CyberQueen_Jolyne, InternecionWitch
Chapter Text
“Team RWBY has been banned from the Vytal Festival.”
What.
“Wait- what?” Blake asked Ozpin somewhat stupidly, staring at the headmaster incredulously and more or less looking like she couldn’t believe what he’d just said. “Why’re we getting banned?”
“Forgetting for a moment that we all know you’re a group of the strongest individuals on the planet, you are currently engaged in a war. Which, much like it disqualifies Atlas, disqualifies you as well.” Ozpin took a sip from a mug that smelled way too strong to be just coffee. “It won’t affect any allies you have… mostly because proving it would be a nightmare. Your place will instead be given to Team CAMO.”
Ruby blinked. “Who are they?”
Ozpin shrugged. “Surprisingly easy to miss, apparently. I didn’t even know they were on the rolls until we were looking for someone to replace your slot.”
“Can we even still be called at war? Atlas is in a lake, their command structure is crumbling, and they have about twenty four-” Weiss’ scroll buzzed. “Twenty three airships left. I think the only reason they haven’t surrendered at this point is because no one actually has the authority to.”
“I mean, Ironwood is still alive,” Blake pointed out dryly, shrugging a little. “I mean. He has to get back to where Atlas is now on half a tank of airship fuel, but he’s getting there. Slowly. But yeah, I guess us getting DQ’d is whatever…”
She paused, then looked over at Ruby and Weiss. “Were we even gonna do anything with the whole thing? Just about the only people who could possibly fight us are Team JNPR, and I’m gonna be honest… I’m still pretty confident I could knock Nora out before she could beat me. Even with Red Queen back at her side, it’s not like she has her Devil Breakers or Blue Rose anymore.”
“Pretty much yeah.” Weiss shrugged. “Doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be fun to go mop the floor with whatever poor souls we get matched against. Plus, bragging rights.”
“Ah yes, the bragging rights of being able to kick the asses of every normal person on this planet,” Blake deadpanned. “... Mm. Actually, that would be a really funny thing to brag about, if only because it’s so… not something worth bragging about. Ruby, what do you think about all this?”
“Five isn’t capable of harming me. Not really. Both because she's not good enough and because we have a contract.” Ruby cleared her throat. “You realize we’re going to need to do something else, right? We can’t just… well. We could . We just won’t hang around while everyone else fights. And JNPR wins.”
“We can finally go have that beach day.” Weiss suggested. “Sand, ocean, unfathomable horrors that live in the ocean, it’ll be fun.”
Blake stared at Weiss, furrowing her brow. “Weiss, honey, seaweed tickling your leg while you’re swimming is not an unfathomable horror that lives in the ocean. Now, the swarms of Kraken grimm that live past the two hundred meter mark, that’s the unfathomable horror. Kinda. They’re just big grimm, I guess.”
“If they become a problem we can just shoot them until they aren’t a problem anymore… Or I can shoot them. Blake just uses swords, Yang hits stuff really hard, and Ruby-” Weiss paused as she stared at Ruby. “I'm pretty sure if she wanted she could remove something from existence entirely.”
“Yes, but it isn’t any fun.” Ruby hummed as she stared at Ozpin. “There was a Crown here, once. Give it to us and we’ll be gone the entire Vytal tournament. I’ll even get Yang to have her people give a small discount in the interest of tourism.”
“Well, maybe not the entire tournament,” Blake cleared her throat, raising her hand slightly. “... Can we get box seats? I’ve always wanted to actually watch the full tournament, y’know?”
Ozpin just sighed, rubbing his forehead. “If you purchased tickets legitimately I will find a way to upgrade you to the VIP box. Otherwise, you’ll have to sit in the stands or watch the livestream like everyone else, Miss Belladonna.”
He paused, then turned to Ruby. “... And, I doubt there is much of anything I could do to stop you from taking the crown anyway at this point, is there? Just… take it and go. If you have a plan to deal with the world’s problems, I find myself lacking the ability to care anymore. Just do it and be done.”
“Don’t worry, it’ll be fine. Grandma just wants her kids to visit for once, you know?” Ruby turned in a direction that only theoretically existed and disappeared.
“... Does she…?” Ozpin asked, looking at Blake and Weiss.
“Yeah, she does that a lot,” Blake sighed, rolling her eyes. “No clue what she does half the time but it’s hell on the nookie schedule and I can only do so much on my own when there’s two very pretty girls in bed with me.”
Just for emphasis, she decided to hug Weiss from behind and very obviously grab her by the hips.
Weiss grinned and leaned into the hold. “Don’t worry. I’ll talk with Yang and we can give you some extra attention tonight…”
“Oh boy, I’m gonna die,” Blake mumbled, blushing brightly.
Ozpin, meanwhile, just sighed. “Please do your displays of affection elsewhere. You’re both dismissed.”
And that was basically that, really.
So, once they’d gotten out of the tower, Blake hummed and rested her chin on Weiss’ head, looking around for something to do that wasn’t just going back to the dorms to waste a few hours on sex. Not that she would have minded wasting a few hours on sex, but it felt rather early in the day to just while away the hours, plus Yang was like… actually napping for once. Something about taking a lazy day or something? Blake wasn’t entirely sure, but she left a few clones to keep an eye on her wife anyway. Just in case.
“So… what do you wanna do now?” Blake asked, still holding onto Weiss from behind. “The fairgrounds are open by now, I think… wanna go wander around, see the sights? I mean, we’ve still got a lot of nothing to do at this point and I really don’t want to just to back to bed now when the sun’s still up.”
“We can go play some of the definitely rigged carnival games there. Maybe win a giant tacky plushie that is cheaper to buy than the cost to actually play the games.” Weiss offered. “Maybe some carnival food or something. Where else can you get a bacon wrapped turkey leg?”
“Y’know… fair point,” Blake nodded, letting Weiss take the lead since she was in front at the moment. “Bacon wrapped turkey legs are… definitely a thing. I don’t think I’ve ever had one, actually… but it does sound pretty good.”
“They taste like turkey, bacon, fat and the knowledge that it’s incredibly unhealthy.” Weiss elaborated as she seemed to begin salivating on the idea. “They’re so bad for you, yet they taste so good…”
At least until she spotted a giant plush shark hanging off one of the booths. “Okay this is it, this is the game.” She declares, dragging Blake along with her.
“Two hundred lien for one play, or seven hundred for three plays.” The underpaid employee tiredly recited for what was probably the fiftieth time today. “Get the ring on the red bottle for a prize, get all three rings on all the red bottles for a big prize.”
“... is this something you want me to win for you, or are you gonna style all over this guy?” Blake asked idly, pulling out her wallet and sliding over seven hundred lien just in case. Maybe she wanted something too, who knew. “Cuz there’s no way those rings are gonna fit unless you get ‘em absolutely perfect.”
“Blake if there’s one thing I’m good at,” Weiss began as she tossed four coins into the air. “-It’s styling all over people.” With the three rings between her fingers she tossed them up perfectly into the coins, all ricocheting off a coin straight down over their intended targets.
The bottles resonated as the rings spun around the rim, releasing a soft note. As the final coin came down, Weiss punched it against the booth's back wall, causing it to bounce back to the giant shark plush. The plushie launched off where it was hanging and rocketed straight at Blake, who caught it in her arms.
“Ooh, nice!” Blake cheered, applauding Weiss’ showmanship with a chorus of short-lived clones that vanished after a few seconds. “And we’ve still got two more plays. Ooh, wait, I kinda want that kitty plush… Mind if I take the second play?”
Weiss gracefully bowed out of the way and let Blake step up to the counter. “But of course, thy trial of rings awaits thee.”
“Not really much of a trial, honestly,” Blake snorted, idly picking up all three rings and examining them idly. She hummed a little, looking them over and tilting them back and forth before just… flicking her wrist. Three rings, three bottles, one kitty plushie. “Literally child’s play at this point… and it’s not even fun trying to style on this game because if I used Yamato to do it I’d probably get dinged for pulling a weapon in a fairground…”
“Well, yeah. I was being dramatic because it's fun. Besides, even if the games are easy enough we could probably do them in our sleep, the prizes are still nice enough.” Weiss explained as she grabbed the last three rings and gave them to a random kid that had just walked up. “So, now what do you want to do? Ferris wheel?”
“Sure, ferris wheels are fun. Nice, smooth ride, easy entertainment without too much excitement, plus if you bribe the guy working there you can get locked at the top of the ride for a bit for a five minute quickie,” Blake snorted, rolling her eyes a little. “Well, we’d probably take a lot longer than five minutes, so we’re pretty much restricted to sloppy makeouts with our clothes on.”
“What a terrible fate that is. I guess if it's our only option, sloppy makeouts will have to do…” Weiss agreed as they approached the line to board. “Two please.” She directed at the other underpaid clerk.
“Thank you for riding, please note that any attempts to destroy, sabotage, or delay the motor to create a romantic moment at the top of the wheel will result in the immediate removal from the fairgrounds.” They recited after Weiss paid.
Weiss blinked. “Is that a common problem?”
“Too common.” They lowered their face into their hands and groaned.
“Loooootta stupid people out here willing to damage large, expensive machinery for their stupid perfect moments,” Blake snorted, leading Weiss onto their compartment once the doors opened. “Fortunately, I’m a smart idiot and I don’t give a shit about having perfect moments. Anyway do you wanna make out for like the next five minutes while this thing rolls around?”
“Of course I do.” Weiss responded before immediately leaning forward and pulling Blake into a kiss.
Thus, the two of them spent a solid five minutes making out sloppily in the carriage, not giving a shit about the fact that they were rocking the carriage back and forth and making a lot of noise. By the time they’d rolled back down to the bottom of the ferris wheel and the doors opened, their clothes were rumpled and both of them had lipstick streaks all over their faces and necks, and also were showing a lot more skin than they had been five minutes prior due to how messed up their clothes were.
“Guh,” Blake half stumbled out of the carriage, ignoring the fact that several people were staring at them now and just clinging onto Weiss as if she was drunk off of just kissing her girlfriend. “Waow…”
“Okay, now can we go have sex?” Weiss managed to utter after she managed to get her wits back.
Blake nodded, only a little shakily. “Yes, let’s.”
And so they did.
Chapter 67: Vytal Festival - Oh Hey a Sword.
Chapter by Argo_The_Rat, CyberQueen_Jolyne, desolatedsabers, InternecionWitch
Chapter Text
“Hey guys I’m back from grocery shopping, also I found a dumb looking golden sword in a hole somewhere,” Blake called out as she entered the dorm, yawning a little and barely paying attention to the TV showing the opening matches of the Vytal Festival. “It was super easy to get this thing too, barely an inconvenience.”
Weiss stared at the obviously magic and divine sword Blake had just walked in with. “I should really stop being surprised. Yet somehow I keep being surprised. Well, that's all of the macguffins.”
“Finding precious weapons randomly happens plenty. You have no idea how many legendary swords I’ve found in chests behind a level ten monster.” Ruby tilted her head as she sat on top of the bookcase. “Literally level ten. You could check in that universe. It was just really rude to point it out.”
“We could probably summon the gods and beat them to a pulp and force them to fix the shit they did to the planet if we wanted to,” Blake mentioned idly… and then just hung the sword up on a wall right next to the ridiculous collection of wall hanger katanas that she’d gotten from the mall at some point. “Buuuut I wanna wait til the tournament’s over. No sense in wasting those VIP box seats, yeah?”
“Hmm.” Yang nodded her head. “We’d also probably want to figure out a way to summon them somewhere that isn’t going to damage Remnant. Maybe the Ever After?”
“Tree Grandma does want to talk with them. They haven’t visited her… ever.” Ruby blinked. “Hey, Blake. Have you done anything with the gift I made you? Because I used the Curious Cat and they aren’t actually… dead or anything. Those guns can float and shoot on their own.”
“Aside from just going off into the woods to pretend to be Bayonetta while shooting Grimm like… once for a half hour? Not really,” Blake sighed, shaking her head apologetically. “There just hasn’t been anything worth shooting with them, y’know? I mean, whatever was summoning those demons totally just… stopped in the last little while, so I haven’t even gotten to use them for the actual gimmick!”
“I suppose so long as they aren’t getting into your smut it should be fine.” Ruby sighed. “If I find one more really horny gun…”
“Trust me, they don’t want to read my smut,” Blake snorted. “Anyway, did the Polendinas send anyone to the tournament this year? I haven’t checked the roster.”
“Could they even get in? They’re Mantle, not Atlas, so they don’t have an entry. Maybe.” Ruby hummed and leaned back against the wall. “ Is there spots for other teams not associated with any of the Kingdoms? I would’ve expected that to be filled up with at least a few Menagerie slash White Fang teams. If only to make a statement or something.”
“Technically yes, technically no,” Blake shrugged, idly stripping out of her outside gear and changing into nothing but an oversized t-shirt and kitty slippers without a care in the world. “Outside teams are fine, but they have to be sponsored by an actual Academy in normal instances, and usually anyone that’s not in the four main Huntsmen Academies gets knocked out of the running in the first preliminary round… as shown there.”
On screen, a very enthusiastic group of four hailing from some school none of them had ever heard of got their asses completely handed to them by Team NDGO of all people. It was kinda sad, honestly.
“Money means life in combat, usually. Better gear, better training, better weapons.” Ruby narrowed her eyes at the losing team. “Though the White Fang slash Menagerie wouldn’t really have that problem. Even one win over a Kingdom team could say a lot.”
“Depends on the team they actually win against though… A win over CRDL who’s barely scraping by only because of that money, and are probably going to die within four years of graduation is never going to be as impressive as one against an actually competent team like CFVY.” Weiss pointed out as she watched the two teams exit the stadium while the arena was prepared for the next match.
“It’s not about the actual difficulty, it’s about what everyone will see. They don’t know how dangerous the actual team is, they just know this team from out of the Kingdoms beat a team from the ‘best’ combat school.” Ruby sighed as the arena on screen shifted back into its flat form. “Media is a very different game from what is actually true. It’s why I don’t usually bother with it, honestly. I hire my technically cousin and they just troll everyone.”
“You have a cousin?” Blake asked, raising an eyebrow quizzically. “... Huh, I just realized you don’t talk much about strange eldritch family stuff, come to think about it.”
“We aren’t technically family. Most of us stumbled into it. Or did horrific dark rituals to achieve it. Or were born from the formless void. Before or after time started, it’s about fifty fifty.” Ruby shrugged. “We’re family because there's nothing else like us, not because there's any real relationship. Some of them are cool, some of them are dicks, and still nobody likes fruitcake. We have a chat room and talk sometimes. Mostly about points where our domains meet. I keep giving balancing advice to The Entity all the time , but sometimes THEY let me in to play a little so eh.”
“Sometimes the only family you have are the idiots that put up with you. Or the ones that did horrific dark rituals apparently.” Weiss grinned. “They sound good for you to have.”
“... That sounds like some bullshit, but I’ll believe it,” Blake mumbled, shaking her head idly before tapping her heel on the ground. “So what’s out there anyway? Like, is the Cthulhu Mythos stuff real or was that just one guy’s imagination? Or are there multiple versions or something?”
“Yes, no, yes and no, no and yes, yes and yes, no and no.” Ruby shrugged. “It’s all real and it's all fake. What even is real anyway? Is seeing really believing? Do things only exist because you can conceive of them? Is that clockwork owl actually trying to sell me insurance? I think so, but they disagree. Frankly speaking, the way I came to be was a horrifically dark ritual, since it involved eating a bunch of cut up pieces of umbilical cord. Some of them were harvested very recently. I still don’t remember if I killed that baby or not. Probably yes and no.”
Weiss blanked as she tried to figure out what that meant. “I’m going to choose not to think too hard about if objective reality is a lie and if cause and effect can be turned into swiss cheese. Speaking of the horrors of time, if you stole the crown can I borrow that?”
“... I mean, to be fair, I tried to sacrifice a lot of people in the name of demonic power as Vergil and that still didn’t let me consistently kick my brother’s ass, which is kind of a shame because you’d think eating that nasty-ass fruit as Urizen would have done something but apparently not,” Blake groused, shuddering a little bit before tapping her chin. “... Clockwork owl… why does that sound familiar…?”
“We all literally live in a dream world made as a sandbox by two dipshits.” Yang flatly said, shaking her head. “It’s why I have so much strength both here and in Ruby’s world. Haki literally subjugates Dreams without primary issues. It's also why I can handle Ruby trying to be a mindflayer when she gets too frenzied.” She paused, and then leaned her head up. “Also yes, two of the umbilical cords are fresh during the events of what we know of as Bloodborne, or the third great Beast Plague of Yharnam’s Dream, and or the thirty seventh great plague of Pthumeru. Or, big dick Oedon wants kids and isn’t picky how he gets ‘em.”
“Haki is just… made of dreams. You’re rejecting my dream and substituting your own. Whoever has the stronger dream wins. Except I don’t actually care about clashing because I’m already getting my dreams.” Ruby’s eyes narrowed as she idly tossed a fancy crown at Weiss. “Wait… I think someone owes me money. Why did I just think of that?”
“I have not a single clue,” Blake deadpanned, then slumped all over Yang and cuddled up against her like a particularly needy limp noodle of a cat, wagging tail and all. “That said, the idea of an eldritch clockwork owl is bugging me right now so I’m just gonna put that out of my mind and instead focus on the more important part. Which is, at some point, calling the Pendroids and seeing if they sent a team or not. Or maybe they all just joined in. They’ve got enough people for two and a half teams and technically there’s nothing stopping them from pretending to be each other if they’re quick with their disguises.”
“My dime are in.” Yang nodded, before holding up her tablet. “Protea, Penny, Pandora, and Polaris are one team, Paisley, Penrose, Prima, and Pallas are another, and Polaris and Petra joined as a two man team because Petra’s too violent to put in a four man team.” She smiled softly, and then shook her head. “Still have no idea how the fuck they were made from me and turned out half normal.”
“Usually the other half of the equation has something to do with it in that case.” Ruby sighed and flicked through her… something. It definitely wasn’t a scroll, even though it did seem to use hardlight. “Now who owes me money…?”
“Because you’re a lot more normal than you think you are and also because Pietro is, shocker of shockers, a really good dad?” Blake shrugged, booping Yang’s nose a little. “Anyway hey Weiss what’re you doing with the Crown anyway?”
“Put it on, see what happens.” Weiss shrugged. “Maybe get a preview of how we kill the gods? I’m mostly just fueled by morbid curiosity.”
“I… see…” Blake blinked a few times. “... Try not to go insane looking too hard into the future. I hear that’s the kind of thing only people who are already insane should do. That, or people who’re specifically capable of handling weird timeline bullshit.”
“Yeah… my mind is still completely mortal and cannot handle looking too hard. But also this thing was made for mortals, even if not recommended to use too long, so I should be fine so long as I don’t get lost in it. I read ‘The Indecisive King’ I know not to be dumb.” Weiss did her best to assure as she slipped the crown into a spare pocket.
“Madness is just reframing your worldview outside of the one that was prescribed to you by your senses at birth.” Ruby waved a hand, then resumed tapping at her… thing. “You’ll be fine. I’m mad. You’re mad. We’re all mad here.”
“Worse case scenario you wipe my memories and toss a bandaid on my soul or something.” Weiss pointed out. “Reframing your worldview isn’t bad, but I still have to live in the confines of euclidean geometry and linear time. For now. Not really sure what's gonna happen once we leave Remnant eventually. Also what is the, not-scroll you’re using right now?” She pointed at the object in Ruby’s hand.
“The F.E.D. Fucking Everything Doer.” Ruby waved it. “It does fucking everything.”
“... I kinda want one, if only just for the name,” Blake murmured, snickering a little at how plain and simple the name of said not-scroll was. “Linear time is for suckers, learning how to slice time with the Yamato was great. I’ve got perpendicular time now.”
“If it does fucking everything, does that mean everything a scroll can do or, everything everything.” Weiss wondered. “Because one is just a really good phone and the other is magic.”
“It was made in collaboration between a cousin and a cousin of mine so… yes. Everything. Anything that could theoretically be put into a handheld device. It uses some form of bullshit superposition stuff to update itself every time anyone, anywhere, shoves anything new into a roughly hand sized device.” Ruby narrowed her eyes at the screen. “ That's who owes me money. I need to go debt collecting, be back in a little bit. Don’t summon the gods without me.”
“... I see,” Blake hummed, watching Ruby do her thing before just snuggling back against Yang and sighing. “... Y’guys wanna head out to the VIP box soon? I hear the stadium hotdogs are actually pretty good… unlike normal stadium hotdogs.”
“Sounds like a plan, I think JNPR is supposed to be fighting soon.” Weiss agreed as she checked the schedule on her scroll. “We can get a whole platter of hotdogs popcorn cotton candy and any other incredibly unhealthy stadium food.”
“Nice. Buuuut…” Blake frowned, staring at the TV. “... Shit, JNPR’s match isn’t for another hour, and the prelims are gonna go for another three. Why are there so many teams this year what the fuck? Who opened the floodgates of mediocrity?”
“I’d blame Atlas but they already left.” Ruby hummed. “Throw a dart at a map I guess?”
“I’m gonna blame the fact that it’s because Atlas left,” Blake mumbled, curling up a little more and rolling her eyes. “Honestly, I almost wish we were in the competition now, if only so we could show off a little… but I guess there wouldn’t be any point.”
“We’d stomp these poor kids worse than I stomped Pyrrha’s Mistral tournament. Speaking of Pyrrha, she’s got a lot of rage to still work out. Kind of hilarious.” Yang commented as she finally got up to sit on the bed instead of laying on it. “Also, kind of curious how Jaune’s family reacted to him becoming Jeanne. Or Joan. Or Jean. Or Janet… Iunno a lot of J names. Jenny, maybe?”
“... Y’know, for a long while there I genuinely forgot that… Jeanne… Joan? Five? Had an actual family that actually cared about him,” Blake blinked a few times, tilting her head. “Then again, it’s not like she ever talked about them before or after Kamabo. Sorta. Maybe once before Initiation? We don’t really hang out with JNPR as much as we probably could, honestly.”
“Ren didn’t call me after he got all, cyborgy, which rude but whatever. He’s still pretty clumsy with it though.” Weiss reminisced. “I saw him fall off the roof straight into a bush once, it was great.”
“Nora mostly only calls when she wants to kick my ass, and frankly I’m kinda getting tired of having to teleport us to empty areas like we’re in Dragon Ball,” Blake deadpanned. “She’s not even good at kicking my ass, half the time I’m the one hauling her ass back because she passed out first despite technically beating me.”
“Pyrrha only calls me when she wants to try and clash.” Yang said, scratching her cheek. “I think she didn’t like that ‘just a fight’ comment and she’s trying to show me that she’s over me by flirting with Jeanne? I don’t know.”
“Five calls me all the time, actually. Pyrrha is a good trainer, but I have… so much experience on her. Plus she’s just as new to being an Inkling as Five. So,” Ruby shrugged, “I get asked how to do a thing a lot. When she can’t bother Three or Four or Marina or Pearl. Hm… I should invite Pearl over again. With Marina. They’re fun.”
“They are,” Blake nodded… then settled back down against Yang and huffed. “Wake me up before JNPR’s match, I’m gonna use my wife as a pillow and nap for the next half hour or whatever.”
And then she did.
Life was good for Blake Belladonna.
Chapter 68: Vytal Season- Time Knife
Notes:
I was playing to much warframe and got vaguely inspired by the new war so thats why this one exists. Not sorry for the weird meta stuff here it was fun.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Weiss idly thumbed over the crown in her hands. The relic of choice, not the Vacuo organization that wanted to return to a monarchy which probably didn’t exist in this timeline. She did have a few hours before the match… “Right yeah, I’m gonna do the thing.”
“Be careful, and be safe,” Blake hummed, giving Weiss a vague sleepy wave without really caring too much. “You’re a big girl, don’t overdo it.”
“Got it.” Weiss rolled her eyes before hesitantly putting the crown on. “huh , I kind of expected-”
She saw the birth and death of stars. Black holes form and radiate away. The heat death of the universe. The big crunch. The birth of the next one. A trillion different realities folding onto each other like thin sheets of metal forming a single blade.
“Nope, that's bad. Don’t do that.” Someone grabbed her hand and pulled her from the whirlwind of experiences to a far more comprehensible black void. “I think if you look at that for too long your brain is going to be soup.”
Weiss gasped as she clutched the ‘floor’ in an attempt to steady herself. “What, what just happened.” She managed to wheeze out once she remembered how to breathe again. “It isn’t- It's not supposed to do that.”
“Probably not. Unfortunately I think something went wrong.” The girl elaborated. “You were trying to look forward in time right? A bit to the sides but forward. But like a black hole bending light it sort of got bent up.”
“Up?” Weiss parroted in confusion.
“Okay well not up. It's a direction that could only be expressed in a vector of infinite dimensions using complex numbers but you get the idea.” The girl shrugged.
Weiss rolled onto her back and stared up at the girl. She had a massive sword stowed on her back complimented by clothes that were an odd combination of purple and green. “Who are you exactly?”
“Oh uh, sorry about that, I should have said earlier. I’m Jinxy Vega, nice to meet you.” She held out a hand.
Weiss grabbed the hand and allowed Jinxy to help her onto her feet. “Right, uh. Hi? Why are you here? And how are you here?”
Jinxy shrugged. “No idea. I think I’m a version of you or something. This place likes doing stuff like that.”
“But, you’re not me?” Weiss blinked in confusion.
Jinxy smiled. “Exactly.”
“Not exactly. You can’t be a version of me unless you got a lot of plastic surgery.” Weiss groaned.
“Well, I never said it made sense. Sorry, I’m not really explaining stuff well. You kind of have to accept that and roll with it here.” Jinxy winced as she did her best to sound reassuring. “I’ve been here, a while? Time doesn’t really time here. Unless it does….” She trailed off before focusing back on Weiss. “Sorry. Anyway, however long I’ve been here it's been long enough that, I kind of get it? Except not really.”
Weiss put her face into her hands and did her best to try and not scream. “I need to stop following my morbid curiosity. It never ends well.” She looked up and took a deep breath. “Right, well. It's been fun but I think I’m going to return to where things make sense.” She ripped the crown off her head and stashed it back in her pocket.
Nothing happened.
“Fuck.” She muttered to herself.
Jinxy just gave Weiss a pat on the shoulder in a vague attempt to provide comfort. “It's, uh. Fine probably? We’ll figure it out.”
“Figure out what? If you left you would have by now, right?” Weiss pointed out.
Jinxy froze. “I uh. Can’t. My timeline sort of, stopped.”
“Stopped?” Weiss parroted.
“Stopped.” Jinxy confirmed before elaborating. “Or well, there's probably a version of it that kept going. But I’m the me from the version of it that just stopped.”
“If a version of it kept going, why not just go back?” Weiss pointed out. “Don’t you have friends and family there or something?”
Jinxy smiled as a few tears started rolling down her eyes. “Of course I want to…” She answered in an unsettlingly cold voice. “But, well. The versions that kept going have a me in them already. And two mes in the same timeline would probably rip a hole in cause and effect big enough to destroy it entirely. Then I’d just be back where I started.”
Weiss pulled Jinxy into a hug as tight as she could without shattering her ribs. “It's… Not okay. But, I uh…” She had no idea how to comfort someone who was apparently doomed to forever wandering the void. “If you’re here someone else should be right?” She offered as she opened up a glyph to pull a box of tissues out of.
Jinxy hesitantly broke the hug and wiped the tears off her face with the tissue before simply allowing it to not exist anymore. “I think the only reason I exist here is because you were going to show up like that, eventually. When you did I got drawn in like a magnet. I looked, if anyone else is here I didn’t find them…”
Weiss blinked and stowed the tissue box back in her pocket dimension, which thankfully still existed here. Or maybe it wasn’t and she was just willing the objects into existence the way she was used to?
She made the decision not to question it.
“So uh. Now what? I didn’t really have any ideas other than taking off the crown and that didn’t really work.” Weiss pointed out. “I’d like to avoid being trapped here for an eternity until Ruby comes and finds me.”
Jinxy chuckled. “Being here isn’t that bad…” She trailed off before recoiling. “Okay yeah no I lied, it's really bad. I don’t recommend it. We could go searching for a giant tree that has a portal home.” Jinxy jokingly offered.
“That, actually might work…” Weiss muttered.
Jinxy leaned back and stared at Weiss in astonishment. “What?”
“The Ever After is real. And the gods. And most fairy tales.” Weiss explained. “I know about it because of reincarnation shenanigans. Going to look for Tree Grandma is about a sure bet that I can think of. She spends most of her time in weird unreality anyway. Either it's the same or it's close enough they can throw us a lifebuoy or something.”
Jinxy blinked. “The ever after is real. The Jinxy peddler is real.” She muttered in shock as she tried to repair her worldview. “The fictional character I was named after is real and actually does real crime.”
Weiss snapped her finger in front of Jinxy’s face a few times. “Uh, you good?”
“I wanna meet everyone there immediately.” She deadpanned before grabbing Weiss’ hand and running through the void.
“How do we know we’re even going the right direction?!? Weiss called out between breaths as Jinxy seemed to be struggling to keep up her sprint.
Eventually they slowed to a stop as Jinxy let go of her hand. “There is no direction. And there's infinite directions.” Jinxy recited as best she could while she tried to catch her breath again..
“And we’re going to be walking for some amount of time between forever and five seconds ago?” Weiss expanded.
“Now you’re getting it.” Jinxy grinned as she fully recovered and started walking at a modest pace. “I would recommend eye spy but…” She gestured to the endless void around them. “So, cyborg. What's that like? Do you get night vision?” she asked after a moment of silence in an attempt to make conversation.
“Night vision, thermal vision, ultraviolet vision…” Weiss listed out on her fingers as she racked her brain trying to remember. “Oh, and a zoom. I don’t really use it but I have it.”
“Woah… Awesome.” Jinxy gasped in amazement. “I had a friend who wanted to do something like that once, I don’t think he got very far though…”
“Well I mean, the cyborg club is always happy to take in new members. I know of two so far, including me, and I don’t know if your friend can commute across dimensions, or even know about our existence, but ill mark him down as an honorary member.” Weiss grinned.
“Wait, you know another cyborg?” Jinxy gasped. “Who are they? Are they good? Bad?”
“Oh it's just someone I know, Lie Ren, he sort of got roped into testing the same thing I did once he finished actually being old enough to avoid having it fused to his spine.” Weiss wiggled her wings behind her. “Not that I really mind it.”
“Lie Ren, from team JNPR?” Jinxy inquired.
“Yeah, him.” Weiss clarified before she realized something. “Did you go to Beacon too or something?”
“Yup, team AJKS. Argo, me, Kuro and Hima.” Jinxy clarified as she did a little pose for emphasis. “I can kind of put together your timeline didn’t really have that.”
Weiss fought down a blush. “Well me and Argo met once. She met our entire team…” She shook her head to clear her thoughts. “Say, I know a professor Vega at Beacon. Any relation there?”
Jinxy gave Weiss a melancholy smile as she reminisced. “Well yeah, I’m her sister. Sort of. I don’t know if the paperwork really went through because I ended up here pretty quickly after a shotgun sister adoption.”
“That, sucks.” Weiss said before her better judgement could actually stop her.
“Well, yeah. But on the bright side she let me borrow her hoverboard and I still have it. Even if I’m not too good at riding it…” She held it up for emphasis. “I don’t really think I can return it, so I guess it's mine now.”
“They sound like wonderful people.” A new voice rang out accompanied by a hammer strike. “Even if your time together was cut short, they have made a permanent mark on you.”
Weiss blinked. At some point the surroundings had shifted from a formless black void to one, a bit more solid. Blue flecks littered what could almost be considered a sky and a ground beneath them. Still a void but a bit more solid.
“Better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all right?” Jinxy quoted. “I don’t regret a minute of it, not one bit.”
The Blacksmith smiled at Jinxy before turning to Weiss. “I’m sorry you had to arrive here like this. The brothers have never been the best at understanding some of the things they create.”
Carefully, she grabbed the crown from Weiss’ hands and placed it on her anvil and began hammering away at it. “It should be a simple fix, compensation for the unfortunate complication of your interesting life.”
“Uh, thanks Tree Grandma.” Weiss uttered with a snort from The Blacksmith. “Uh, so, question. You know we’re kind of planning on fighting the brothers right? You okay with that?”
“You’re planning on what now?” Jinxy uttered in complete shock.
The Blacksmith let out a soft hum. “It brings me no joy to see how this confrontation has been forced, but it's inevitable.” She carefully took the crown off the anvil and handed it back to Weiss. “It's been fixed and modified to work properly in the domain of your girlfriend, should you require it.”
“Uh hi magic Ever After tree lady, what about me?” Jinxy hesitantly spoke up.
“There’s no easy place to put you. A paradox that shouldn’t quite exist yet does…” The Blacksmith uttered as she got on one knee and placed a hand on Jinxy’s shoulder. “There are places I can send you that won’t fracture creation. However, you could always stay here, should you desire it.”
“Here as in your workshop, or the entire Ever After?” Weiss asked.
“Both, should she agree. I’ve needed a helping hand for a while now, someone to run errands mostly. And in a way, the Ever After is part of her identity. She’ll fit right in,” The Blacksmith clarified before focusing on Jinxy. “What do you say?”
“Yes, a million times yes.” Jinxy said a little too quickly.
“Very well then.” The Blacksmith smiled as she stood up and grasped Weiss’s right hand. “And one last parting gift, for the trials ahead.”
Weiss felt something in her, change. It reminded her of the time that Blake had stabbed her of all things. Except instead of pain, it was more soothing. Like a sip of a warm drink on an ice cold day. “What did you…”
“A gift.” The Blacksmith clarified as she stepped back. “Your ability to parry is no longer limited by demonic energy, technology, or aura. It simply is, for all things. God or not.”
Weiss closed and opened her hand as the feeling faded into nothing. “Uh, thanks.”
“Oh oh, if she’s giving you something I’m giving you something too.” She took her sword off her back and offered it to Weiss. “Here, this is my railgun-sword Mercury. Well more of a magnetically amplified photon converger but-”
“Railgun is easier.” Weiss interrupted. “Are you sure you don’t need this? It's…”
Jinxy laughed. “After you leave I’ll just be the me that didn’t give you it and I’ll have it again.”
Weiss stared at Jinxy as she hesitantly slid the sword into a Glyph. “Right…”
“If you’re ready, I’ll return you to reality as you know it.” The Blacksmith offered.
“Ready.” Weiss confirmed as The Blacksmith-
“Hey you, you’re finally awake.”
The first words that Weiss heard upon waking up had never sounded worse, even from the dulcet tones of Blake’s voice.
“Fuck, You.” Weiss uttered as she ripped the crown off her head as fast as possible, not even caring as it escaped her hands and rolled under the bed. “How long was I asleep?”
“I’m gonna guess like, five minutes, but also like… I’m gonna guess you felt like it was maybe a few hours. Or days. Or weeks,” Blake shrugged, retrieving the crown and setting it on a high shelf where no one could possibly get it without a step stool… or if they were Yang. “I dunno, I really had to pee so I kinda missed most of whatever you were doing.”
“Somewhere between thirty minutes and the lifecycle of an entire universe.” Weiss muttered as she sat up fully from the bed. “I think I saw perpendicular time. And ‘directions that don’t exist’ time. Ruby accidentally broke it a little.”
Carefully Weiss opened a Glyph and pulled out the sword Jinxy had given her just a bit before sliding it back in. “Oh, that means it wasn’t a dream and I actually did meet someone that doesn’t exist anymore and Tree Grandma.”
“Aww man, you met Tree Grandma already? Fuck, I thought we were gonna go visit as a team,” Blake huffed, grumbling a little. “Wait, what do you mean you met someone who doesn’t exist anymore? Like, really? Like a time ghost or something?”
“Somewhere between a time ghost, a paradox, and someone that survived by sheer luck. I don’t really know.” Weiss shrugged. “I don’t really think there's any mortal words to describe whatever was going on with her. She was nice. I’m glad it happened, even if I almost got trapped in an unreality where time isn’t real.”
“I… see,” Blake hummed, pursing her lips a little before reaching out and patting Weiss’ head just for fun. “Well. I’m glad you got back safe and that you didn’t permanently lose your mind. Still weirded out that you met a time ghost, but honestly if I put on that crown to try and do even remotely what you did, something tells me I’m gonna get replaced by someone or something really, really, ungodly stupid. And I don’t wanna get replaced.”
“Remind me to ask Ruby about the time knife later, I’m going to take a nap. A real one.” Weiss muttered as she fell asleep against Yang.
“Goodnight, sleep well.”
Notes:
Jinxy is from fuck RWBY V1. Which... Exists. (This ones ending soon so if you need more go read that.)
Chapter 69: Vytal Season - VIP Box Lewdness
Chapter by CyberQueen_Jolyne, InternecionWitch
Chapter Text
“So what was it like anyway?” Blake asked, once they were all more or less sat in the VIP box and Blake had curled around Weiss just to make sure there wouldn’t be any weird side effects from wearing the crown and going on a whole spirit journey to another dimension. “Did you see any weird shit? Alternate dimension stuff? I’ve never really seen anything aside from like, weird blue energy effects when I step through a Yamato portal, so I kinda wanna know what doing weird fuckshit with time looks like.”
“I saw the birth and death of stars that never existed in the first place.” Weiss muttered. “I saw things that could have existed but never did. Or maybe didn’t exist yet. Bananas are a thing here right?”
“Bananas are, indeed, a thing,” Blake confirmed, squeezing Weiss around the waist gently. “That’s kinda cool though. Any… wibbly wobbly timey wimey bullshit, to cop a phrase?”
Weiss hummed as she leaned into Blake. “I think I turned into wibbly wobbly timey wimey bullshit. It was… Weird. I saw the time knife, except sometimes it was also a massive cosmic clockwork Owl? I think my brain dumped a lot of it outside my conscious mind. I see it in dreams sometimes though.”
“The time knife? Huh… y’know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen it, even when I deliberately try to slice through time,” Blake mumbled, flexing her fingers ever so slightly. “I think the Yamato just… cuts through it entirely and just points me to a spot where I want to go, whether that’s by stopping time or doing weird dimensional slashes.”
She paused, then stared at the top of Weiss’ head somewhat incredulously. “Wait what do you mean the time knife is a clockwork owl? What? Huh? What???”
Weiss shrugged. “Sometimes the time knife is an owl. It’s…” She trailed off as she tried to think of a way to explain it. “Imagine a cube, if you look at it just wrong it looks like a square, until you move or rotate it or something. Sometimes its the time knife, but if you rotate it forty two degrees up left right sideways weast clockwise it looks like an owl.”
“And suddenly I’m thoroughly convinced that the owl knows exactly who and what I am, and that it’s trolling me right now,” Blake deadpanned, resting her chin on Weiss’ head and watching JNPR do their thing. They were holding back quite a lot, honestly. Nora was just using a baseball bat instead of Red Queen or Magnhild, Ren hadn’t pulled anything bigger than Stormflower, Jeanne… Five… was using some kind of ink weapon instead of her sword, and Pyrrha was aura farming on top of the mountain biome.
She made it look really menacing for a woman who apologized for breathing too loud once.
“To be fair it probably does. Try not to think about it too hard.” Weiss dismissed as she looked down to where Nora was bashing in some member of Team CRDL’s kneecaps. “Huh. I think she’s actually gonna break someone’s legs.”
“It’s Team CRDL. Even if they’ve stopped being racist bullies, they’re still racist assholes,” Blake deadpanned, rolling her eyes and shaking her head ever so slightly. “If Nora breaks Cardin’s kneecaps, it’s a public service honestly. I just kinda wish I coulda seriously fought her… she’s basically the only one I could possibly get bragging rights from at this point. It doesn’t really count if it’s you guys, and no one else on the planet except Salem is even remotely strong enough to fight us, so… bleh.”
She paused, then straightened up and looked around. “... Either Ruby is buying a truly tremendous amount of cookies to last her through the rest of the preliminaries… or she’s doing something vague and inscrutable with her eldritch nature. Honestly, I shoulda just gotten that hotdog myself… I’m getting kinda peckish.”
“Could be both.” Weiss suggested. “But I’m getting pretty hungry, and quite frankly I want a good hotdog right now…”
“Let’s go get something then,” Blake idly stood up, carrying Weiss in her arms. “I’ll leave a note so Yang knows where we’ve gone, and if we find Ruby on the way back… well. Extra hotdogs, I guess. It’s not like any of us ever technically get full with the sheer amount of calories we consume on a daily basis…”
“There's no such thing as too much food. Except for after you eat it all and you feel like you’re going to pop but that's a problem for future Weiss.” Weiss joked as she settled in Blake’s hold.
“Sometimes I wish I had your problems, but at this moment I’m kinda just thankful I’ve never had to deal with that,” Blake snorted, easily shifting Weiss into a princess carry and wandering out through the halls of the stadium in the vague direction of the VIP food service area. “Well. Not in the last five or six years, at least. Real glad I got turned into a demon right about now, honestly.”
“Being normal is boring anyway. Normal people don’t have three girlfriends and go on metaphysical adventures that never happened.” Weiss elaborated as they approached the counter manned by an oddly familiar old man. “Can I get three hotdogs with onions, peppers and jalapenos?”
“I’ll take… a chili dog, and then two regulars with ketchup, mustard, and relish. Oh, and two large fountain drinks,” Blake added her order, paying for their food and scooping up the two cups with her Devil Trigger wings since her hands were otherwise occupied at the moment. “Right, that should be out in a few… Do you think we shoulda gotten fries too or should we just grab extra snacks later?”
“Everything always needs fries.” Weiss seriously stated as if it was a matter of life and death. “Sorry, can we get some fries too please?” She directed to the shopkeeper who quickly vanished and reappeared with a basket of fries which she quickly grabbed. “There, now we have everything.”
“Yaaaay, fries~” Blake singsonged, nuzzling against Weiss and filling up their drinks to go with their food, carefully balancing it all before returning to the VIP box. Strangely, neither Ruby nor Yang were anywhere to be found.
…
Honestly at this point Blake was fully willing to believe that her wife and her girlfriend had just gone off to go get some alone time in a bathroom or something… or the locker room? Something like that. Either way, Blake and Weiss were chilling in a VIP box with really comfy reclining seats and with a bunch of food, and Ruby and Yang were almost certainly having sex somewhere in the colosseum.
…
“Damn, we missed the end of JNPR’s fight,” Blake huffed, staring out at the window and down at where Team CFVY was now doing their thing with their own specially made theme song blaring over the stadium speakers. “... Damn, we gotta get our own team theme. This shit fucks.”
“This shit does fuck.” Weiss agreed as she took a bite out of her food. “How did they even convince the directors to let them do that? Hell, who did they even commission to make this song? I need to meet them.”
“Honestly, amazing question there. Who did they commission? I mean, yeah sure there’s a lot of bands in Vale but I don’t recognize that singer at all,” Blake muttered, but just settled down after a moment of thought. “Still, kinda sick as fuck anyway.”
She paused, idly chewing on her hotdog and staring out at pretty much nothing. “... Y’think the Grimm will all vanish if we kill the Brothers? Or… y’know. Send them back to Tree Grandma. Either or. Or like… maybe they’ll stick around until they’re all killed or something? Did anyone ever establish whether or not Grimm respawn?”
“The only thing we have on the origin of modern Grimm is the weird black sludge stuff.” Weiss shrugged. “Where that comes from I have no idea. Might vanish when the brothers die, might not. They’ve been gone for a millenia, personally I think the Grimm will keep on existing brothers or no. At least until we go mop them up anyway.”
“And who knows how long that’ll take,” Blake sighed, slumping back in her seat and rolling her eyes a little. “Good thing we’re probably not gonna die of old age any time soon. We’re probably gonna be fighting grimm on and off for decades even after the Brothers die out. Fuckers. They better fix those fuckin Jabberwalkers when they pop outta Tree Grandma again otherwise I’m killin’ ‘em twice.”
“If Ruby really wanted to, I have full faith she could kill all of them in like, a week. She probably won’t since it would be stretching the idea of hunting them but, still.” Weiss cracked her knuckles as she thought. “Please try and avoid pissing off Tree Grandma. I don’t wanna know what happens if we do. And she's nice.”
“Yeah yeah, alright…” Blake sighed, slumping back down. “... Are you feeling restless? I swear I’m feeling way more restless than I should be. Like… watching all these fights going on is kinda fun, but I’d really rather be out there doing stuff… even getting groceries or something. This VIP box experience kinda sucks if you’re not into just sitting around and snacking while watching other people fight.”
“Actually having fought before definitely takes the magic out of it…” Weiss agreed as she started tossing a coin back and forth. “Especially when you could beat pretty much everyone you watch in about five seconds. Or less.”
She shot up out of her seat. “Okay yeah no let's go do something else. We can go do more fair stuff, or take a nap, or I can hack the display to say swear words.”
“Hmm…” Blake rubbed her chin, thinking about it for a moment. “I mean… I could turn the security cameras around and we could get banned from the premises in the most fun way possible. Y’know. If you want to get up to some not-quite-public dykery.”
“Oh?” Weiss grinned. “What exactly did you have in mind?”
“Well…” Blake hummed, sliding out of her seat and dropping between Weiss’ legs. “How about… I stay here… and we see just how sensitive that neural integrated touch feedback is in your legs? And while I’m at that…”
Without even waiting for Weiss to respond, she darted forward and nipped at the metal of Weiss’ inner thigh, flaring demonic energy at the same time just to see what would happen as it interacted with the circuitry in Weiss’ cybernetics.
The moment the signals got to her brain Weiss let out a moan as her legs decided to simply not work anymore, forcing her to grasp onto the railing to avoid tumbling onto Blake.
“Ooh~ Good reaction~” Blake purred, licking her lips and gently guiding Weiss back down into the nearest seat, running her hands along the metallic plates of Weiss’ thighs and kissing each in turn, leaving a faint purple mark that was definitely one part lipgloss but also one part demonic energy. Electric demonic energy at that. “You’ve got such a pretty voice, Weiss. Never let anyone tell you the cool synthetic voicebox is weird.”
Each kiss and touch Blake left was a spike of pure pleasure sent directly into Weiss’ circuits, making her throw her head back and let out a series of quiet gasping noises in response.
“O-oh shit, that’s a l-lot~!”
“It’s gonna be a lot more by the time we’re done~” Blake sing-songed, kissing Weiss’ hip over her clothes gently before resuming her work, pushing up her teammate’s skirt and tugging her panties to the side before diving in with great fervor and enthusiasm.
The sounds that Weiss made were incredible, synthetic and raw and yet utterly rapturous for all that her voicebox was artificial. The motions she made were equally as beautiful- a sensuous dance, guided by Blake’s fingers and tongue, a symphony, a ballet of ecstasy.
…
Blake’s patience for flowery poetry ran out about there, though, because she was too busy shoving her tongue as far as it would go into Weiss’ pussy and thus had no time to be distracted by what she’d be writing in her poetry notebook later.
Needless to say, they both got kicked out of the VIP room.
As did Ruby and Yang, for defiling the bathroom.
…
Totally worth it.
Chapter 70: Finale- Lullaby of the Gods.
Chapter by Argo_The_Rat, InternecionWitch
Chapter Text
“Well… festival’s done. Everyone’s cleaning up…” Blake mused, looking around idly as she and the rest of Team RWBY all stood around in one of Beacon’s many courtyards following the final conclusion of the Vytal Festival and the tournament- of course, JNPR had won. There was never any doubt about that. “... Should we just pull a Dragonball and find somewhere empty to fight a pair of assholes who could probably blow up the planet if they wanted?”
“Outside Salem’s goth depression castle should work, the entire continent is empty. Probably.” Weiss shrugged. “Look if anyone was dumb enough to settle on a continent that's ninety percent Grimm they can deal with a little divine collateral damage.”
“The God of Dark holds dominion there. No point in making it harder for ourselves.” Ruby hummed and swished her cape. “I know a place we can go. It’ll be as neutral as can be, considering this world was made by those two.”
Yang hummed, and then smirked. “I probably register as close enough to fight one of them evenly. Ruby could deal with the other. Probably be easier to jump’em, but boring. Iunno, what d’ya think?”
“Let’s just jump the fuckers. Like Ruby said. No reason to make this harder on ourselves,” Blake shrugged, turning to Ruby and tilting her head. “So… where exactly is this neutral place anyway? Also… I should… probably … I should start the fight in Devil Trigger, right? No point in not doing it, I guess…”
“I’m gonna need to be wasted…” Yang mumbled, pulling out her sake pot and frowning. “This won’t be enough. I need home’s Sake. Size of an elephant and liable to kill a normal sized human.”
“Well, I’m going to do what this hood means I should.” Ruby briefly fluttered her cloak. “Who wants to go to grandmother’s house?”
“I’ll hit them with enough dust to power all of Remnant for a week and it’ll probably just tickle, the real damage is going to have to be whatever I can hit back at them.” Weiss hummed. “To the Ever After it is.”
“To the Ever After!” Blake cheered, blasting into her Sin Devil Trigger form for emphasis. “Woo! Let’s go kill some gods!”
She paused, then frowned. “... Man, I really hope Qrow’s not too busy laying pipe in Salem otherwise he’s gonna be real pissed he missed the ending fight.”
“To grandmother’s house we go!” Ruby skipped forward with all the innocence of someone who hadn’t horrifically mutilated and altered people because they served oatmeal raisin cookies. The portal in front of her looked like a wrought iron gate covered in bright graffiti. Which was probably about the most expected thing it could have been.
When Weiss stepped through the gate it was surprisingly easy, unlike most of her other gut twisting journeys with Ruby. The other side was a sharp contrast to Beacon’s brick and concrete, and instead was a massive twisting of wood and prismatic leaves.
“Right, then. Any other last minute preparations? Bathroom? Snack?” Weiss thought aloud as Blake and Yang stepped through the portal.
“Stronger booze’ll let me use Shuron Hakke without issues. Any ideas?” Yang asked, shaking her head. She’d forgone bringing Ember Celica, and instead just had Hassaikai slung over her shoulder.
Weiss opened a Glyph and pulled out a bottle which she handed to Yang. “I stole this from Qrow at one point, two-hundred and ten proof absinthe. I have no idea where he got it but given that it should be impossible if that isn’t strong enough nothing is.”
“What a time to remember I don’t know how to make booze,” Blake sighed, shaking her head idly as she drew Yamato and engulfed it in violet flames. “So… Yang needs to get drunk, but the rest of us are pretty much ready, I think?”
Before the Glyph shut Weiss pulled out one last thing, a sword which she quickly shifted into a railgun. “I have the best idea.” Weiss spoke as she developed a devilish grin. She pulled out the dust cartridges and instead opened small miniature glyphs of the exact same size where they were supposed to go, causing the weapon to start glowing, very brightly. “Infinite ammo magnetically amplified photon converger, an idea that can only end well. Thank you Time-Ghost.”
“We should talk to grandma first.” The ting of a hammer on metal got louder and louder, despite the fact that they technically weren’t moving. “They are her children we’re dealing with.”
“And children no longer.” The hammer clanged as the Blacksmith set it onto the anvil. “They have long gone on to do bigger things than I. Not content with a small world, but enacting countless others in their quest for… I cannot say. Their desires and their purpose has long outgrown what I forged them with.”
“... Hm,” Blake stated in lieu of anything important, just watching the Blacksmith for a few moments before turning to the others. “... So what happens if they die anyway…? Do they go through the whole… Ascension thing too or…?”
“I cannot say. What they have done to themselves I cannot say, what has happened to them I cannot say, what will become of them… I cannot say.” The Blacksmith sighed, every bit the ageless being… every bit the mother who had seen her kids off her doorstep but no further. With the best of intentions and the best of hopes. “The rules they created are different, and bind them more tightly than anything I could craft. The worst chains are the ones one makes for oneself. Perhaps being here means they will revert to my rules, perhaps their nature means they will always play by their own. I cannot say I am excited to see the result, unlike one among your number.”
Blake blinked, then pointed at herself dumbly at the Blacksmith’s look… And then further down to where her set of guns was. “... Y’know somehow I keep forgetting that I have a sapient cat gun now.”
“Wasn’t Beowolf also sapient?” Yang asked, halfway through chugging the absinthe and barely looking buzzed.
“Beowulf learned to shut the fuck up and pretend to be an inanimate object after I caught him trying to sneak a peek at my ass last year,” Blake deadpanned. “Still haven’t un-grounded him from wherever the fuck I put him.”
“The Cat, at least, doesn’t have any interest in that. Beyond a general curiosity as to why.” The Blacksmith hummed. “Such is their curse. Perhaps I should have questioned more after they were who my sons left behind. But even I cannot turn back the clock. Not like that. Maybe you will be able to finally satisfy them. My own resolution they determined was unsatisfactory.”
“What fun is there in learning the same thing twice?” The Curious Cat’s voice came out from the guns. “Learning once is well enough, but twice isn’t nice. Forgetting is such a terrible tragedy, and I’ve enough of those for a lifetime.”
“This… has probably been a long time coming. If not from Remnant than from one of the other places.” Ruby rolled her shoulders and pulled out a sword. “Do we just… throw these in a pile? Do they just need to be close enough or actually touching?”
“If you permit me… I will call them.” The Blacksmith smiled thinly. “As their mother I may as well ask what questions need be answered.”
“Go ahead, not like we know how this all works,” Blake sighed, shrugging and just dropping into a low squat to conserve her energy. “... Be funny if all it did was turn those relics into a golden payphone or something…”
“One of them shattered the moon on his way out for style points, no way in hell would it actually turn into a payphone.” Weiss countered as she found a branch to sit on. “They’ll probably come down in a giant beam of holy light or something equally dramatic.”
“We shall see.” The Blacksmith placed all the relics together and looked skyward.
The God of Light and the God of Dark descended unto the world, flaring their power and establishing their authority!
“Boys.” All of which immediately went away as the Blacksmith put her hands on her hips.
“Mother.” They echoed together.
Then the God of Dark looked to his other half. “Well. You were supposed to plan for this one.”
“I did! I always plan.” The God of Light raised his hand unto the world and a bolt of light descended unto it. The glowing shapeless mass resolved into a rectangle, faintly pulsing with the light of his power. “Here.”
The Blacksmith took it and raised an eyebrow. “Hallmark?”
“You know, for all the mother’s days we missed.” The God of Dark almost seemed to look sheepish as his mother read the card.
“... Wow, so now we’re morally obligated to jump these idiots,” Blake muttered, staring at the two brothers in some kind of horrified awe. “Several millennia’s worth of missed Mother’s days and all you two assholes got her was a fucking Hallmark card from the mall? Really? On behalf of the goddamn banquet I’ve been planning six months for my mom next year, I’m kicking your asses just for that.”
“We were busy.” The God of Light glared at Blake with a look in his eyes that promised her a thousand smitings.
“Busy doing what? You left Remnant. Or have you just been making more worlds to abandon when they aren’t completely perfect in every single way?” Weiss scolded them as she dropped down from her tree and walked right up to them.
“No, of course we haven’t.” The God of Dark smugly replied. “We’ve been destroying them.”
Weiss stared at the brothers. “That's worse. You get how that's worse right?”
“Saying this as a deadbeat parent, my kid was more involved in my life then you two are involved in yours.” Yang said as she polished off the last of her peach wine, several discarded bottles beside her and being the cause of her scales darkening. Licking her lips, she grinned as she twirled Hassaikai, before gripping it and winding up a swing. “But you’ll figure that out quick.”
“ Very well. ” The God of Light bellowed. “It seems humanity has learned nothing, and has once again overstepped its place in attempt to usurp our rule. There will be no- ”
Ruby unfolded Crescent Rose. Not the shadow of Crescent Rose that was her weapon on Remnant. Her weapon. The Good Hunter’s weapon. The one that had once been the Burial Blade, and before that something similar. The blade that rendered all under it mortal, for it knew nothing but death and its dealing. The full presence of herself pressed upon the world, so much grander than she had shown before. So much more than she had ever needed to show.
“You.” The God of Light flinched as she addressed him. She was a world, a dream, a killer, death, and ultimately the end of monsters. And she promptly drop kicked the God of Light into a haze of mist. “Dawn is rising, and you are no longer protected.”
“KAMUSARI!” Yang yelled out gleefully as the God of Light vanished, slamming her Will unto the God of Dark, and rocketing the beast far from them with that single swing. Letting out a hazy laugh, she shook her hand after a moment. “I gotta work on my swing, that was pathetic.”
“You’ll have plenty of time to work on it, love,” Blake huffed out a quick laugh, rolling her neck. “Hey Weiss? I have a terrible idea.”
“Haven’t you learned by now I love terrible ideas?” Weiss grinned as she watched the God of Dark in the sky shift from his more humanoid form into a massive Dragon that blotted out the Suns.
“Parry me. Straight into that fucker’s throat,” Blake grinned, pulling out Myrtenaster and flaring it with demonic power. “I’m gonna Stinger that fuck at mach six.”
And she did exactly that, rocketing straight towards Weiss at bullet speeds. “Parry now!”
“Oh so little faith, I can get you to mach nine!” Weiss grinned as she pulled her arm back as Blake approached. “Fore!” She screamed as her fist collided with the mass of demonic energy Blake had become sending her rocketing toward the God of Dark with a massive shockwave rustling every branch on The Tree.
An instant later, the God of Dark recoiled as a flaming mass of purple punched into and through his neck like a needle trailing sonic booms in its wake, sending the draconic shitbag straight to the ground while Blake boomeranged around and rolled to a sliding halt right back where she started.
“We got him on the ground! Let’s jump the fucker!”
Chapter 71: Finale: Ruby Rose Abomination (Ruby 16)
Chapter by Argo_The_Rat
Summary:
A god dies.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
The God of Light smashed onto the sand of Splatlands. Great claws scrabbled for purchase as he attempted to arrest his movement, only to find nothing that would stick. Finally he rolled to a stop, staring up at the bright sun that beat down onto the plain. His bulk quickly shifted upward and he glared at the only creature he could see among the endless sands.
“Welcome to the Splatlands.” Ruby leaned against Crescent Rose. Not the Crescent Rose that all the others knew. That one was made solely with the materials and abilities found within Remnant and served as an able weapon for Grimm. This was the truth of it. The sum total of all of Ruby's experience and means, amplified by her nature as an eldritch being. “You will not leave here.”
Crescent Rose twisted and warped, its form more of a suggestion than actual fact. Seemingly carved from a single piece of some unnatural metal- only the blade stood out from the mass. It hung crooked over Ruby as the metal shifted into something more solid. Fit to lean against as she watched the god in front of her.
“ Foolish. But I suppose that is the fate of all of you. ” The God of Light pulled himself upward. “ Silly little God trying to play in my realm. I suppose destroying you will be a mercy.”
“I’m no God, I just kill them.” Ruby didn’t blink as she tilted her head. “But my kids get the first crack at this one. Three and Eight have been good girls this year, and that deserves a present. Their friends can join too, as a treat.”
“ Three? Eight? What -”
“WOOMY!”
“VEEMO!”
SPLOOSH!
Twin impacts slammed into the God of Light’s head, ink fountaining out from the Splashdowns both Three and Eight did. Before he can even recognize the fact that he should be screaming, Three goes upward and Eight slides down. The roller that Three prefers slammed down onto the top of his head and kept moving forward, down his neck to ramp off his tail spreading ink all the way. Eight prefers shooters, though she isn’t picky about the exact type. This time it’s a splattershot, the bread and butter, and it proves why it has that designation by quickly inking the entire front of the God of Light’s body.
“ AAARRRGGGHHH! ” Oh, looks like he noticed. Ink, to anything that lives in this world or visits through accepted means, is mostly harmless. Dangerous to get too much on you, sure, but a bit won’t cause any issues. Something with the mass of the God of Light, much like many of the Salmonid bosses, could theoretically just ignore ink nearly entirely. The problem with that, of course, is what ink really is .
Here’s a hint- it isn’t actually ink. Not in the way squids or octopi normally have it. Do octopi have ink normally? Eh, whatever. This stuff is a bit more nasty, as befits being the blood equivalent of something created by the Eldritch Abomination of the Hunt. Against anything that isn’t welcome, or is being hunted, it works like acid . Really, really nasty acid. The sort that can rip apart even gods.
As evidenced here. Good to see it works exactly as expected. The God of Light is a bit higher on the totem pole than Ruby generally allows her kids to fight, but Three and Eight are special. She’ll be keeping them around for a long, long time. Besides- they’re super cute together.
“ ENOUGH! ” The shockwave sent Three and Eight flying. It didn’t hurt them, really, and both recovered fast enough to slide across the ground. “ I WILL NOT BE -”
That was, of course, when Two decided to shoot the God of Light in the eye. Like the dramatic bitch she was.
“ GHHRRR! ” A wave of burning light blasted down onto her as Three and Eight rushed forward. Marie would be fine. She did get splatted, but with Ruby here it wouldn’t cause any problems. She was a respawn point all on her own, owing to being their literal creator. And also just an endless repository of ink.
“That was my cousin!” And there’s One, also a dramatic bitch. Her roller was flipped out, falling like an axe blade right onto the God of Light’s head.
“Woomy!” Three agreed with the sentiment, evidently, seeing as her own roller slammed down on top of One’s. Right in time to interrupt the God of Light attempting to speak again.
“ GHK! ” The God of Light was lucky not to have a tongue, otherwise he would have bit it off.
Four and Eight joined in on the fun in their own way. Absent the sheer amount of damage that two rollers could manage, which were even now being swung out in preparation to box the God of Light on both sides of his head simultaneously, they had to make do with sheer amount . Which was why Four had evidently decided on using dualies for this battle. Eight led the way in targeting joints, soft bits, and in general anything where the corrosive, acidic effect of ink on something like the God of Light would cause the most damage.
Her choice was, as usual, completely correct. The God of Light attempted to thrash Three and One off of himself and could only manage to collapse onto the ground. Any limb that attempted to move, to steady him, was ruthlessly attacked by at least one of the four women attacking him. More often two. It was a beautiful and complete stunlock.
“ I WILL NOT BE BROKEN HERE! ” Or that was the gist of what he said, anyway. The actual words were slurred and constantly cut off by being smacked or shot. Ruby just huffed as a pillar of light burst off the God of Light, easily annihilating all of the Inklings and Octoling on top of him. They should have known to watch out for the phase change, but some things just don’t get properly acknowledged until they happen to you. “ YOU !”
The God of Light was healed. It had definitely taken a bit of power to do that, especially from the damage the ink did, but ultimately for something like him it wasn’t very crippling at all. He could do that… eh, maybe one more time before it actually started to wear? An annoying thing, but the Cleric Beast could do better. The only problem here was more the lack of immediately available things to stop him from healing at all, but he only managed it because Ruby allowed him to anyway.
It wasn’t his world. Her rules wouldn’t allow it if she didn’t want it to happen. But this wasn’t a duel.
This was a gank.
Healing was completely acceptable.
“ I WILL DESTROY YOU AND EVERYTHING YOU HAVE MADE! ” The God of Light pulled himself upward and the sun burned behind him.
“This is not my fight.” Ruby casually shifted herself to stand. The sun peeked out from the horizon. The dawn was approaching and soon the long night would end. But there were still a few monsters to take care of.
“ What? ” The God of Light fell back down as he stared at the thing in front of him.
“This is yours .” The scythe came to her hand easily. Dust puffed up as one boot smacked against the ground. Her upper body twisted, hands holding the scythe like they’d done a thousand thousand times before, and brought her weapon back. “Are you good enough to handle this?”
It was beyond simple. The most obvious, most expected attack that could have been made. Ruby moved forward and the edge of her scythe trailed behind the motion. A simple, no flair, slash. She didn’t attempt to correct for her opponent dodging. Didn’t try to put more force anywhere along the length. Didn’t do anything to make it more complex than it needed to be. Beginners could, and had , dodge it.
The God of Light was not a beginner. It stood to reason that the God of Light was less than that. He had never been challenged, truly. Never faced a proper enemy or engaged in a fight. Even so called peaceful gods, the highest of the high, would occasionally be bored enough to try to fight. Or even just watch their champions fight. It wasn’t like they couldn’t learn. Or at least this very simple concept was something that even those entities who were highly chained to their conceptual domains could learn regardless.
Simply… ensure you aren’t where the enemy is putting the dangerous sharp thing.
And yet…
“ GRRAAAHHHHGH! ” The God of Light failed. His wing flipped to the ground, severed at the joint, as one of his great claws slammed against the wound. It bled golden sunlight as he hunched into himself. “ YOU! ”
Light blasted down. Wave after wave of pillars of blinding fury that would render most to less than dust. It wouldn’t actually do that to Ruby but it would honestly be a little insulting to be caught in them. They were aimed, generally speaking, and there wasn’t any pattern to them at all. They simply gave an instant of warning, a short bit of a circle being brighter, and then slammed down. Just running was sufficient to dodge, because the concepts of ‘aiming where your opponent will be’ or ‘ ensure a large number of areas are attacked at once and force your opponent into a mistake’ were lost on the God of Light.
Ruby flowed around the pillars as she pulled back her scythe. A slash sent a crescent of the Dawn at the God of Light. Not her strongest attack- it was honestly quite slow compared to everything else she could do and nothing compared to the actual edge of her scythe, but even this was too much. The God of Light set his power against hers. His own light lashed out to burn against that crescent of Dawn.
The Dawn, her Dawn, wasn’t simply a lightshow. Certainly it wasn’t as strong as actually putting in effort, but it was still connected to her. Her power and symbol. To clash against it didn’t require much- only having such strength in one’s own power and symbol that it could be turned away through the simple matter of not wanting it to hit. The sort of litmus test that any higher level entity would send out as a matter of course. ‘If you cannot turn away this, then you aren’t ready for this fight’ encapsulated in an attack.
The God of Light stood for nothing. Locked away like that one exceptionally intelligent dickbag. Coddled in a place where nothing could really face him and force him to be better. Not even the world itself. Most gods were tempered by the world itself. It was how they were so good at their domains, so effective in a fight, despite often not being in any sort of position to actually train or fight against anyone. But this world had been made for the God of Light and the God of Dark. It was their playground. A step up from playing in Mom’s sandbox in the backyard.
The God of Light and the God of Dark had never struggled. Never been imposed a Purpose and Domain. They simply flitted around like the overgrown children they were. Never pausing, never thinking, and assured they were correct.
The God of Light failed.
He hadn’t expected to fail. Hadn’t even been capable of conceiving that he would. That was why he hadn’t moved his head. Hadn’t even attempted to dodge at all.
That was why his head was on the floor.
“I suppose,” Ruby let her scythe hang in her grip, “that I shouldn’t be surprised.”
She sighed and rubbed the back of her head.
Well.
Best to check on the others. They might not have had too much trouble, but they were also not her . Being an Eldritch Entity, and being within her own domain, provided quite a lot of protection. Protection that the others wouldn’t necessarily get. Their bodies were of Remnant… more or less. The God of Dark could potentially use that. A slash like Ruby had just done would also be much more a difficulty to them. Provided the God of Dark could even use it at all.
It wasn’t likely, but sometimes the most unlikely things happened regardless. It didn’t matter how certain you were that it wasn’t a mimic- sometimes it really was just a mimic.
“I should visit her again.” She was an elf. Definitely still alive. Considering the time differentials… “Huh. Definitely need to see her. All her friends are probably dead by now and she…”
She wasn’t very good at making new friends, exactly. Besides- she was a favorite. A title like ‘The Slayer’ generally guaranteed Ruby’s favor.
“Right, gonna meet her after this.” A swipe of her scythe opened a portal and she was through in the next moment.
Notes:
And that's it for me. A shame, I've had a lot of fun doing Good Hunter Ruby, but all things have to end. Especially when she can just... straight up solo the creator god of the universe.
We maybe went a bit too high power with this one.
Still fun though.
Also let me do a 'no you' with boss health bars, and thats just pretty fucking cool.
Chapter 72: Finale.
Chapter Text
“A simple lesson.” Yang said as she hefted Hassaikai idly, coming to a halt some thirty or so meters in front of the God of Darkness, very pointedly five times her original height. “Dreams are nothing without Weight to them. You can dream for as long as you want, but without Will , it’ll be for nothing. Your toys, creations, all of them are just dreams, with no will behind them. The sole exception being the humans you made.”
She grinned, the head of a dragon roaring to life around her body as black lightning crackled. “And yet you sought to keep their will from growing. You knew what would happen if they did. Pathetic.”
“You were a mistake from the start. My brother's idea. Your entire species was nothing more than a means to keep the peace between us. What Will could you possibly have?” The God of Darkness scoffed. “Time to finish what I started a millenia ago.” He finished, unleashing a wave of raw destruction toward Yang.
“More Will than either you or your dead brother,” Blake scoffed, swirling into existence in front of Yang and splitting the wave with a single swipe of Yamato, her coat fluttering in the wind caused by the riotous roar of nothingness going past the both of them. “Pathetic.”
“The thing I find kind of funny, is you kids have never grown.” Yang huffed, watching the attack fizzle out into nothing. “Never had any push back, because the one time you did, the both of you got mad and killed your toys because ‘how dare they talk to us’. And didn’t realize that was the exact reason they wanted you dead. But, let me show you what I mean.”
She grinned, stepping forward, and the world became Yang. “Kneel.”
The wave of Will erupted between them, the Ever After becoming Yang, scales, teeth, alcohol, and horns. The desire of fighting. War. Good Drink. And closeness.
All of this that was Of Yang, slammed into the God of Darkness, and sent him to the floor. He had never encountered any other to temper his will, barring his brother.
And neither of them had bothered to train themselves at all.
Shaking her head, Yang looked at the kneeling, struggling form of the ‘God’ and clicked her tongue. “Pathetic. One little blast like that, and you can’t even stand? You’d be eaten alive back home.”
“They’ll be eaten alive here too,” Blake shrugged, settling in beside Yang and looking over to Weiss with a raised eyebrow. She wasn’t even using Devil Trigger anymore, that’s how much of a disappointment this fight was already. “This is a lot less impressive than I thought it’d be. I mean, after that first hit I really thought it’d be something big and climactic, the kinda shit gods actually throw around, y’know. What do you think, Weiss?”
“I think the only one who’s ever actually talked back to them is The Tree, and they haven’t visited or called in a while.” Weiss pointed out, carefully stashing her sword back inside a Glyph. “Massive letdown. Is this what Goku feels like when he can’t find anyone strong?” She accentuated her point by giving The God of Darkness a kick to the ribs, which he was definitely angry about but lacked the ability to respond to unless he stopped being a bitch.
“We knew they were spoiled brats when we got here.” Yang huffed, before shaking her head. “Still, it is a letdown. I was hoping for a good time, maybe even him managing to core my stomach out. Oh well.”
With that shrug, she grinned, before using Hassaikai as a golf club, launching the idiot across Her Ever After. It wasn’t a permanent change, of course, Tree Momma wouldn’t allow that. But for now? She could do whatever she wanted.
Including stomping her yard with his body. “Hell, King probably could’ve taken this guy out. Wouldn’t have even been too hard. He can’t hold off a direct attack on his Being.”
“Which means that he couldn’t possibly handle Yamato’s soul splitting properties,” Blake huffed, watching the God of Dark crash into the ground almost a kilometer away with a muted cry of pain. “... And he definitely can’t handle the guns Ruby gave me.”
She paused, scratching her cheek idly. “... Which means you two can go nuts, if you don’t mind me swooping in after to make sure he’s dead on a conceptual level.”
“Pretty sure Tree Momma wants something left of him to recreate.” Yang pointed out, but shrugged. “Eh, she could probably pull something out of his body. Still, how to handle this…” She tapped her chin as the ‘God’ got back up woozily, shaking her head. “Takes a Kamusari without issues, can’t take getting hit with a normal haki infused swing. That’s so stupid.”
“I’m gonna do something dumb.” Weiss grinned as she pulled Gambol Shroud and a jackhammer of all things out of a Glyph. With a running start she leaped off the edge of the tree, vanishing over the edge however quickly reappearing riding a rocket.
Once she was over his head she tossed a coin up into the air before rapidly slamming downwards. As she fell the jackhammer charged back and at the moment of contact with the ‘God’ it sprung forward, delivering nearly all of her kinetic energy directly into his face and sending her rocketing back toward the tree.
Weiss took a moment to strike a quick pose (A vitally important measure) and drew her railcannon. Just as the coin she had tossed earlier reached its apex she fired, sending a beam of pure electricity into the coin and ricoshotting into the barely recovered ‘God’.
With the last of her momentum she hooked Gambol Shroud around a stray branch above her and tugged, sending her upwards and, with one final flip, onto her feet next to Blake and Yang. “Okay, that's all I really wanted to do, we can kill him now.”
“Fucking sick,” Blake nodded, giving Weiss a congratulatory butt slap for good measure. She drew Yamato again, flaring into her Sin Devil Trigger with a snarl of demonic power surging around her. “Alright. Let’s have some fun!”
…
She paused, looking over at Yang. “... Unless you still have something you want to do.”
“Nah, go nuts babe.” Yang gave her a thumbs up and a grin. The aura of disappointment was palpable. Not with not being able to fight him, but because he wasn’t worth fighting.
Even that Kid brat had something in him worth fighting.
“You… You foul little wretches!” the God of Dark screamed, trying to pull himself up and fight back with yet another wave of destruction, throwing an utter tantrum from the fact that he just was not good at fighting.
Sadly, those waves did very little other than tearing up the environment, and Blake surged forth like a violet comet through each and every one- Yamato parted the magic in each one like butter, slicing infinitesimally thin lines through spacetime and forcing the destruction to dispel along her blade’s edge.
“Time to die!” Blake shouted in response to the tantruming little shit before her, and began carving into the screaming godling like he owed her money.
Every slash, every kick, every stab, every punch, hell, she even shot him a few times with the guns that Ruby gifted her- taking her air combo from Vergil to Bayonetta and back seamlessly.
It was easy- too easy. Not in the sense that nothing the God could do could hurt her- no, the God of Dark was still powerful. A being capable of annihilating worlds if he so wanted… but that required him to have the presence of mind to use all of his destructive power, bring it all out to its fullest potential.
It was easy because he was a petulant little shit that didn’t know the first thing about fighting, and every single one of his attacks was so blindingly straight forward that Blake didn’t even need to parry some of them.
It took less than a minute to cut him down, and of course- what else could Blake do but to finish it all off by sending him into the air one last time and, as he fell-
“SLAY ALL!”
-slashed through existence itself to turn the God of Darkness into nothing more than dust in the wind- ephemeral pieces of loose magic and soul that settled like purple glitter, all vaguely drawn back in the direction of the Tree.
It was done.
It was over.
The Gods were dead.
Blake huffed, straightening up and rolling her neck idly, looking over at Weiss and Yang with a goofy, slightly awkward half grin and a thumbs up. “Alright, I think we’re done! As long as Ruby’s done, that is.”
She paused, tilting her head. “... Where’d she go, again?”
“Splatlands.” Yang hummed, shaking her head. “I was expecting more. Instead of just… Linlin if she never had time to grow.”
The thought had Yang… deflate. From her previous giant size. Additional scales and body length vanishing as she sighed, and sat down. “Kind of pisses me off, actually. Had all these plans, all these thoughts. Turns out these two brats couldn’t fight worth a damn. It’s pathetic.”
“I know, right!?” Blake huffed, throwing her hands up with a look of sheer disappointment on her face. “I mean come on! I didn’t hope for an easy fight but I was at least thinking it’d be a fight! It just felt like bullying a pair of idiots. Fucking come on. Oh well…”
She sighed, crossing her arms and pouting. “Well. Now what?”
“Guess we just wait for Ruby to finish toying with the other one.” Weiss shrugged. “We’ve got to go find something actually worth killing later, this was just disappointing.”
“... We could always just go on a multiverse tour or something…” Blake suggested… and then made a face. “... Actually no, that sounds way too much like we’d be jumping some kind of shark. And also like it’s been done before.”
“Probably.” Weiss shrugged as she tossed a stray branch off the edge of The Tree.
“God of Light’s dead.” Ruby strode past them out of a burst of mist. “Sorry, grandma.”
“It is as it is,” the Blacksmith replied calmly, looking over the four of them as their surroundings changed to the depths of the Tree proper. “My only regret is that it was necessary in the first place. But perhaps… at least… what they were can be made into something new. Something less grand and prone to harm… a smaller, simpler soul.”
“So, it's over? No more things to do? No sudden world ending catastrophes in response to their deaths? Okay that last one is pretty unlikely, Remnant has been fine without them since they left to get milk but still.” Weiss asked as she pointed to the two formless crystals of yellow and purple that were the only pieces left of the brothers' very essence.
“Depends on how things were set up, but maybe.” Ruby waved a hand. “The Grimm pools might clear up and the world recovers without any major issues. Or the death of the creator deities opens this place up to even more random stuff coming in, as Remnant is now without the protection of any gods at all. Or… plenty of other things. It gets into very complex multiversal systems that I can’t explain without causing your heart to explode.”
“If no one showed up before, no one’s showing up after.” Yang huffed, shaking her head. “They didn’t care enough to come back when we showed up. Nothing’ll pop out of the woodwork that we can’t handle.”
“Whether or not they’d come back is irrelevant to the fact that they’re alive and exist. It’s like a scam mail- any amount of common sense or protection means they don’t want to bother. Without that though…” Ruby shrugged. “We’ll see.”
“Well, you do have to worry about demons now,” The Blacksmith pointed out glibly. “But that’s a problem for another time. Have some cookies before you go home?”
“Oh shit, triple chocolate fudge,” Blake mumbled, immediately grabbing a cookie as the plate just appeared on a table near the four of them. “Fuck yeah.”
Weiss immediately grabbed three and was just barely able to stop herself from inhaling them all immediately. “These are amazing.” She managed to mutter between bites. “Thank you grandma.”
Ruby grabbed the very edge of the polite amount. “Peak shit.”
“Thank you.” Yang quietly hummed as she packed back the cookie, leaning on her club and humming. “Still… Guess we got other shit to get to, back home. Remnant didn’t pop when I blasted out my Haki, so it’s physical enough to exist. It’s not going anywhere, and the Pennies all count as Demi-Gods at least… I think it’ll be fine.”
“All will be as well as you make it,” the Blacksmith nodded in agreement, then opened a portal with a wave of her hand. “Go and be well. And do remember to stop by from time to time? It does an old tree some good to see her grandchildren flourishing… well, technically adopted as you all are.”
“We’ll pop back up.” Yang said as she polished off the last of her cookie, before flipping her hair. “Let’s get home. Twilight’s back, so we’ve skipped the Dawn. The Day’s waiting.”
“That’s my thing. Don’t steal my thing.” Ruby sighed. “Race you back. Last one there watches while I kick out Raven.”
“You ain't kicking her out, we agreed we’d move closer to Menagerie!” Yang said, before the both of them took off running.
“You keep saying I’ve agreed to things I very much don’t recall. I think I’m going to need to start keeping a book of those instead of just automatically agreeing to it.” She disappeared into mist at those last words.
“Hey wait- oh for fuck,” Blake huffed, sprinting after them with a hasty wave over her shoulder. “Oi, what do you mean closer to Menagerie!? Weren’t we gonna move into Kuo Kuana!?”
Saying this, she also vanished into the mist beyond.
“Welp, that's my cue, later Tree Grandma!” Weiss gave a little wave as she dashed into the mist.
Life was Great for Team RWBY. However it’d turn out.
Chapter 73: Afterword
Chapter by Argo_The_Rat, CyberQueen_Jolyne
Chapter Text
Hi hi! It's Jolyne!
Welcome to the afterword! Which we're still doing because that's just my thing!
Thank you all so much for reading this mess of a fic, and for sticking with it as long as you have! This was pretty much just a dumb, self indulgent thing from day one, but I don't think there's really anything wrong with that, right?
Well, regardless. I had fun, my cowriters had fun, and we ended on a good note after we all wound down and decided it was a good time to end things.
This is probably one of the shortest Fuck Canon fics to date, come to think of it, but at least it's actually done. Thank god for that.
I won't say if there were things we could have done better considering that this was just five idiots writing by the seats of our pants, but hey. We wrote, we worked, we learned. So on and so forth.
See y'all in the next fic, whatever form that might take!
-Cyberqueen_Jolyne
Hey! Argo here.
I'd say our first mistake was picking the characters we did, and our second mistake was picking RWBY. Not that RWBY isn't fun, or this (or the first) wasn't fun, but as a setting it's sorta... really fragile. Just knowing about Cinder tanks a lot of her plans, and, by extension, Salem's plans. This was only exacerbated by all of us being able to down Salem as basically an afterthought. Not that we can't have fun even with that, but it still left us very short on things to do very quickly. At least without leaning on the fact that Ruby can jump dimensions like breathing, and theres only so far that can go without this just turning into a Jumpchain or something.
Though even if this did end pretty quick, compared to the rest, it was a hell of a lot of fun. I never knew how much I wanted to pull 'no u' with Boss Health bars until I did it vs the God of Light. Even with all of us being overpowered, I think we vibed pretty well with each other and had a lot of fun. Which was really the only thing we were after, honestly.
Even if, maybe, we might need to go back to the drawing board and be a little more circumspect before we start a new one. Rolling the universe is only fun so many times, after all.
But that's for later. Right now I think we're all gonna focus on some of the other things we have cooking. I'm personally quite happy with them, so maybe you'll see those soon.
Maybe.
See you all.
-Argo_the_Rat
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