Work Text:
It started with something small. A blink and you'll miss it kind of thing, and Sieun did miss it.
"What do you mean?" Sieun asks, voice void of any hurt or emotion.
"I can't tonight, angel," Suho replies in a soft manner, reserved solely for Sieun, shoulders tense and lips pressed thinly together. "Baku's really persistent on this. I don't think any of us will be able to deal with him any longer if he doesn't get a girlfriend, or boyfriend."
He chuckles softly, but Sieun just remains still. Internally, he was fighting the urge to grab Baku by his ears and give him a piece of his mind, but he decided to dismiss it. Suho, in the five years of knowing him, had never once cancelled any plans. Even unplanned plans. Even small shop runs with Sieun, he'd call off work and end up watching a movie, snuggled up together.
So excuse him if it felt unusual and painful. His heart clenched a little at the thought of Suho going out, without him, to a place lurking with horny young adults. He cursed at whatever God above that gave Humin his poor flirting skills.
"Why doesn't he want me there?" Sieun pouts, unintentionally.
Suho draws his eyes away, his gaze flying everywhere but meeting Sieun's own. Tonight they had agreed to hang out after Suho got off work, normally their late night hangouts included snacks, movies, tickling and a ton of laughter. To Sieun's disappointment, he showed up with hands not clutching snacks, instead clutching his phone, car keys and a stupid excuse.
"Look, baby, how about you call Juntae for tonight, hm?" Suho suggests, eyes finally meeting Sieun's.
"I can't believe you're cancelling on me. You've never cancelled," Sieun sighs. "But fine, I'll call Juntae."
Suho embraces him, hands circling his waist and engulfing his figure completely. He bends down to peck the top of his head, and the shorter melts. They stay like that for a little while, Sieun's uncertainty dissipates as he reminds himself that his husband isn't going off to war, instead his best friend is hanging out with out him and cancelling on their plans. Clearly, he's sorry.
Sieun's face is buried in his chest, and he exhales softly at the scent of the familiar cologne he associates with home. His hands rest around Suho's neck, and he's hit with the realisation that Humin might not be the only one going home with someone tonight.
Don't be greedy.
Sieun, be happy.
On repeat, he tells himself it's not jealousy he's feeling, but worry and concern. It wasn't the first time Suho went clubbing, he wasn't concerned about that. It was the first time he went without Sieun or Juntae, who normally informed Sieun of the man's every action and move, even if he was met with dismissive responses. Sieun needed someone like that to supervise tonight, but he knew the people accompanying Suho and Humin weren't totally reliable
He trusted Humin and Hyeontak, sure. Maybe Seongje and Baekjin, a little.
But tonight he found it suspicious how him and Juntae were mysteriously not invited. Normally they'd all go out, every week or so they'd find themselves drinking the night away, with Suho minding his alcohol so he could still drive home.
The thought of him and someone else made his heart ache. His grip tightened around Suho's neck, the taller chuckling.
"Only one night, I'll make it up to you. I promise." Suho whispers, patting Sieun's head softly.
They both let go from the embrace reluctantly, and the look in Suho's eyes could be mistaken for fear. Sieun smiles slightly, nodding. Truly a forced smile, there was nothing to be happy about, and he knew Suho noticed the falseness behind it as his eyebrows furrowed in response. He began to feel clammy, and his stomach twisted painfully when he realised Suho either didn't care, or maybe he read his expression wrong.
Sieun sucks in a sharp breath and finds himself escorting Suho to his car. They walk quietly, a tense silence between the two of them. He bites his lip anxiously once they reach the car, and he contemplates begging him to stay. His fingernails dig painfully into his palm, reminding himself that Suho doesn't belong to him, and that he doesn't have a right to stop him from socialising and having fun.
It hurt, but it kept him alert.
"Have fun. Drive safe." He whispers, hands tilting his face as he presses a kiss to his cheek.
"Sleep well, angel." Suho ruffles his hair, swinging the driver's door open.
Suho gets into his car, seatbelt on. Dialling Humin's number before waving goodbye, his cocky smirk tempting Sieun to do unspeakable things. He didn't move though, he stood watching the vehicle retreat into the nightlife. Arms crossed around his waist and an unfamiliar feeling settling in his chest, suffocating. He didn't like this.
All he wants to do is snuggle up next to his best friend and watch a stupid romcom. Where had that Suho gone? Thinking about it, the man had been distant all week. Sieun squints his eyes at the realisation. For an entire week they hadn't seen each other past short video calls.
Sure, Sieun kept busy with university, he was a neuroscience student with little time to himself post lectures. He normally spent the rest of his afternoon making flashcards, before seeing Suho and occasionally hanging out with his friends. Regardless, nothing had changed for the past two years of university, they still kept the same routine they adopted in high school, so he was bothered to find out it had altered.
For a whole week, he had been mistreated and thrown to the side. And now, the asshole wants to cancel their date? Sieun scoffed, stomping towards his apartment, anger behind his steps. Suddenly, the late night movie mood had been ruined, and now he wants to sleep instead. He doesn't want to call Juntae over, he wants to nurse his feelings with a well deserved sleep and possibly some ice cream.
He makes his way to the freezer, swinging it open only to find ice cubes and sadness. No ice cream. No frozen food. No signs of Suho. It's like the man hasn't been actively involved in his life for the past couple years. Suho hadn't been over in a week and he's already letting it be known.
Sieun groans in frustration, stomach grumbling back in response.
Whatever. He was probably being dramatic. One week without Suho wouldn't be the end of the world, and instead, it's probably beneficial for the man. He was always so focused on Sieun, and prioritised him over his academics. Which didn't help the gnawing guilt, and the mysterious feeling that clawed at him at the thought of losing his place as Suho's first priority.
No. It's a good thing. He should focus on school, and his friends, and himself for once. Sieun didn't command Suho, and if he wants to go out so be it, he's probably just feeling salty to find out that their date had to be cancelled. He's not jealous at the thought of another person touching, kissing and cuddling Suho. He's jealous at the thought of his best friend going out with someone else.
It totally had nothing to do with the love he felt for the man that had quite literally lightened up his otherwise dull life. When he was sixteen, he swore he'd never let the feeling of love get in the way of their friendship. He'd stick by his vow.
Sieun didn't care, for now at least. It was only a week and they'd be back to normal. Tomorrow will be back to normal, and he'd make sure of that. That's all it was, a night to the more extroverted guys of the group, for them to drink their feelings away and do manly stuff that Sieun nor Juntae would certainly not be as keen on doing.
Only tomorrow hadn't been better. No good morning text, no update on life, nothing. It was almost as if Suho had forgotten about Sieun. Normally after a night out with out Sieun, he would be met with a series of texts of regret and emotions alike. Sieun was kind of looking forward to waking up and seeing at least one text from Suho.
But none came. He debated texting first, but with the way this week had gone, he felt like a burden and settled on leaving his phone on do not disturb. He went on with his day, getting ready to do nothing but take notes and organise his flashcards. He was all caught up with school work, and hadn't found time to stress over his performance, remaining number one throughout all his years.
The nearest deadline for schoolwork was tonight, and it was an essay on decision making, how a certain part of the brain affects it. Is Suho lacking that part?
Noon came around, still no text.
Suho was the one contact allowed to pass through his do not disturb, but Sieun pretended he forgot about that.
He was sat at his kitchen table, blinds open and letting the sun beam inside, his black clothing absorbing the heat. His leg bounced underneath the table, and he picked at his nails as his eyes travelled between the phone at the other end of table and his laptop screen, which displayed a random online lecture he found that he had neglected.
So first he cancels on Sieun, neglects him, and now he disturbs his peace?
The phone buzzes across the table, Sieun pounces.
suho <3
13:03PM
suho <3:
hi baby
sieun:
hi, how was last night?
suho <3:
not bad
i wanted to ask if you're down to go out next friday
baekjin wants to reserve a vip section at some fancy club
sieun:
oh lol
already planning next week, hm?
though you'd make it up to me
suho <3:
but babyyyy
it will be fun
come on
nerd
we have a week break afterwards
nice friday to finish up, no?
sieun:
sure
can we hang out soon?
suho <3:
sorry, sweetheart
boss has given me more shifts
and i have a lottt of school work to catch up on
i'm sorry baby
i swear i'll pay more attention to you
forgive me?
sieun:
mm
only cause you asked sooo nicely
fine
you're forgiven
but istg reject me once more and i'm telling juntae
suho <3:
wow??
traitor :(
i thought we had something
do i really not matter at all?
sieun:
i should be the one doubting you
suho <3:
i'm really sorry
i wish i could go back in time and say no
sieun:
to?
suho <3:
nothing
don't worry angel
silly little work stuff
i have to go
sieun:
so soon?
did you meet anyone last night
suho <3:
we'll talk later, okay?
sieun:
oh
mhm
"Why did I even pick up this phone?" Sieun sighs, resting his head on his arms as he pauses the video, or tunes it out.
He sees the room blur, and he blinks furiously.
"No."
He grips his hair in frustration and slams his phone down. Heading towards the bathroom to either stand in cold water, or boiling. He'll decide based on his mood.
He picks cold.
Like Suho's damn heart.
Reluctant to share details about his night, fine. Excused. Not asking Sieun how his was? Unforgivable, treacherous. Sieun could say, "I walked to my bedroom." and Suho - the OLD Suho would reply with, "Did you have fun? Was it a nice walk?"
But he didn't even end up asking if Juntae really did come over. He didn't know what bothered him more now, the refusal to hang out or the easy dismissal? And he doubted it really mattered anymore because whatever Suho was leaving to do was clearly more important. The idiot had forgotten that Sieun knew he always took Saturdays off, simply because he would always sleep in with Sieun and he would rather spend the rest of the day with him.
Guess that doesn't apply anymore. By some miracle his boss had disrupted the schedule he'd stuck to for five years for whatever reason.
Once he got out the shower and was left a shivering mess, Sieun grabbed his towel and dried his hair quickly. For the rest of the day, he settles on going to a cafe to study ahead, he had literally zero things to do. No Suho meant he wasn't occupied at all, or texting. And it was funny, because it was beginning to feel as if Suho disappeared but it was just Sieun's doubt and attachment issues speaking.
God why couldn't he be normal.
It wasn't Suho's fault he was this clingy.
But right now they'd be waking up, limbs entangled and Suho holding him closely, arms around his waist and his Sieun's back snuggled into his chest. And then Suho would try cook and American breakfast based on the movie they'd watched. But fail, miserably. The thought made Sieun chuckle in the relatively quiet cafe, earning a couple of side glances.
He was going insane, and it was all Ahn Suho's fault.
Oh God. What if Suho had found out how Sieun felt?
What if this is the product of his own idiotic feelings? Maybe that's why he was drinking, because he was so creeped out at the thought. Sieun pouts, rubbing his forehead in distress. Ok. It's fine. He'd meet Suho's quiet with his own. He was quite literally the best at being quiet.
It was kind of his thing, and Suho was taking it, just like he'd taken Sieun's dignity and self respect.
Had he caught onto Sieun staring at his biceps for a period too long to be called 'Admiration' but more like 'Lust'?
No. Suho was too prideful to care, he would probably bask in the compliment but not think anything further. Besides, he already had most guys and girls on campus eyeing him.
Still, he couldn't let that be a possibility. Nope, no way. Suho wants to be mean? Sieun will show him meaner.
Sunday night had rolled around and Sieun was gripping on to the last shred of either dignity or honour, he couldn't tell the difference. His eye twitches, and he stares at their texts. It hurt. Nothing had been sent all day apart from a quick call asking if he has his outfit sorted for Friday. Sieun said no, and he yet again asked, politely, if they could go out.
But before he knew it, Seongje was on the phone, telling him he'd send him money and that he could go with Juntae or Gotak. Sieun forces a laugh, which arguably sounded like a cry for help, but can you blame him? Nevertheless he accepts the offer because he doesn't see why not. Free clothes for one night that he'll end up never wearing again.
After the phone ended and Sieun triple checked that no one was near him, on the phone, or on voice message.
"I am stupid," Sieun whispers. "Somebody sedate me. I can't. Ahn Suho you evil human being, who deserves nothing but-"
He cuts himself off with a sob. Barely any tears are falling, yet somehow a sob erupts from his throat, fleeing the premises and only breaking a dam for more tears to fall as Sieun bursts into giggles due to his own suffering.
By Wednesday, only minimal texts had been exchanged, texts that he wasn't sure he was even comfortable reciting due to how humiliating it felt for him. Each time, Suho had been his usual self, baby or angel, and then he stopped. The conversation would shift and he would shift completely, it felt like another person was taking over completely.
Sieun still hadn't gotten his outfit. But he found out what bar they're supposed to meet at, and he took inspiration from the likes. He was almost done with school for now, so he focused less on getting his studying in and more on getting his sick and twisted revenge on his friends. Throughout it all, Juntae hadn't been given much detail, but he was understanding when he found out Suho and Sieun weren't hand in hand anymore.
Sieun was grateful. Juntae saved him the excuses, and the pathetic "I don't know why I'm feeling like this." which Sieun reserved only for the stray cat he ends up feeding each time he runs into it.
But no more patience. He was done. If Ahn Suho really wanted to play a push and pull game, Sieun would read the instructions and beat him at it. A thousand times, over and over, until the man accepted defeat.
Sieun wasn't one for flashy outfits. Sure, he wore daring items now and then but he never fully went out, and by that he means that on Friday he wouldn't just dress in his casual outfits. He would dress up in something that made Suho question whether he truly should've strayed this far off.
Besides, it was evident that his love for Sieun didn't border the line of friendship and romance. So, Sieun gave up the thought of confessing or the future he had planned out in his head whenever he found his head on Suho's chest, or the man's head on his lap. As he ran his fingers through his hair. Or as he dismissed dating rumours, and younger years asking for his blessing to pursue Suho.
The ache grew persistent. He now identified the feeling to be his longing morphing into something sadder. He had to be strong, at least until Saturday morning.
With it being winter, by the time he found a free space in his schedule to go out and get his outfit, it had already turned dark.
Juntae had joined him and they were walking through nearly empty streets with closing shops, drinks in hands and shopping bags full. They went a bit overboard with Seongje's card, but he saw the two as little brothers basically, so he wouldn't mind. Had he been with Suho right now, his hands would be empty and they'd be driving around through a much bigger place, and it would be Suho's card he's using.
Then they'd go back to his, and they'd sit in an embrace, with music playing in the background. Pieces of their souls aligning the closer they got, and the longer they'd stay.
Sieun lets out a sombre sigh.
"It's bothering you." Juntae announces, frowning as he pauses to sit on a bench near a park.
Sieun joins him, setting his own bags onto the floor and placing his drink next to him, shifting for comfortability and leaning into the bench. Trying hard to make himself smaller, and hoping hard that Juntae drops the topic and lets him be sad.
"Sieun."
He hums, reluctantly.
"Are you in love with him?" Juntae asks.
Sieun blinks. A beat passes.
"As in, you wouldn't mind if he found someone else?" The boy continues, the wind passing through harshly.
Sieun sighs, "Why are you asking me this?"
"You've been huffing and puffing this whole week." Juntae informs him, a smile on his face. Not teasing, not mocking, but encouraging.
"No I haven't. I'm not in love with Suho." He denies, shaking his head and grabbing his drink to sip on it and soothe his drying mouth.
Juntae chuckles, "Yet he's the first person you think of."
Sieun sets down his drink, glaring at the boy. He was right, Suho of course would always be Sieun's first thought, undeniably so, but that wouldn't help his case right now so he stays silent and instead hopes his brooding aura scares Juntae away.
"Let me rephrase," Juntae begins. "If he were to find someone else, someone he'd spend his nights with, someone he'd never separate from, someone he calls 'baby' and says sweet nothings to. Would you be happy for him?"
Sieun sucks in air sharply, as if the words personally attacked him. Which is what it felt like, unfortunately for him.
"Yes," He says. "I would have to be. Afterall-"
"You know, you have a right to be selfish." Juntae interrupts, gaze softening.
"No, I don't, he's not mine." Which was the truth, it hurt, but it was the truth. He couldn't have Juntae finding out his feelings, nor Gotak, nor anyone else.
Juntae giggles, "And yet, he doesn't seem to think so."
"What?"
"Remember two years ago, when that one student a couple years above us tried hitting on you?"
"Yeah?" Sieun raises a brow.
"Well, after you went on a date, Seongje found out all about him and Suho went to threaten him. The guy obviously wanted to get into your pants, but Suho hadn't known that when he went after him and began throwing punches. He doesn't want to admit it."
Sieun gapes.
"That's the most amount of emotion I've seen you express." Juntae observes, jaw dropped.
"Juntae- Wait, he what?!"
"Wasn't the first, or the last." Juntae smirks.
"And when would you have told me?" Sieun snaps.
Juntae shakes his head, "I wouldn't. I owe Suho that. We may not be close, but he's a good guy. Might wanna claim him before someone else does."
"No, no. No, nothing like that. He probably did it because he felt protective."
Juntae raises a brow.
"So, the sexy, slutty outfit you picked out has nothing to do with Suho?"
"You're so scandalous, little shit," Sieun groans. "No. I'm wearing this for my benefit and potential pleasure."
"Oh," He hums, seemingly in thought. "Let me guess, he takes you back to you apartment like usual and you experience all of him?"
"See, this is the split personality I'm studying." Sieun sighs, standing up and lifting his bags off the floor.
Juntae laughs, following after him. They continue their small chatter until they reach Sieun's apartment complex, Juntae only living a couple blocks away. They were both close to their university, which is what helped them develop their friendship and grow a stronger bond.
Sieun was grateful for Juntae, and he was grateful he had spent his night out with him. It had eased his worries and forced him to confront the harsh truth that Ahn Suho would most likely not be his. He doesn't bring that up to Juntae, he's grateful the boy doesn't press either.
Sieun bids goodbye, and goes straight to a warm shower, leaving his items scattered around the living room and his phone forgotten somewhere between the entry and his bedroom.
He follows the same routine he has for the past week following his and Suho's 'fall out'. Shower, either skip or order dinner, and fall asleep with a neglected phone. He knew he couldn't control himself so once he'd tire himself out with crying, the phone would be placed on the top shelf.
He cries a little harder. That's Suho's shelf, full of his Legos and hoodies.
God, the hoodies.
That fucking cologne.
Was he going crazy or could he smell it?
No, Sieun, you're not nesting.
Who cares about dignity, no one can see him.
He ends up grabbing the hoodie, and his phone. He puts the hoodie on, which makes him feel smaller by a ton. The sleeves going beyond his fingers, even as he rolls them up they continuously fall. The hoodie reaching mid thigh, and the scent serving a slap across the face, as he's left to delude himself with the thoughts that maybe Suho does like him back.
But then why is he so cold?
Did he meet somebody else?
Has somebody else, truly replaced Sieun?
Was he just a placeholder, for Suho to find his one true love as he drags Sieun around maybe out of pity rather than love or adoration?
He opens his phone and automatically taps on the messages app, tears welling in his eyes and a sob itching his throat. They hadn't talked properly in days, it felt like years.
suho <3:
Yesterday, 14:54PM
suho <3:
hi, baby.
make sure you get your outfit, okay?
sieun:
yeah.
how are you?
i feel like we haven't talked.
i miss you.
suho <3:
me too, angel.
after friday, okay?
sieun:
why friday specifically?
suho <3:
come on, sweetheart..
one week break!
one week of me ;)
sieun:
you've had two..
and you keep cancelling.
suho <3:
you're right,
and i'm sorry
i can't change anything right now.
but,
i have a question.
sieun:
yes?
suho <3:
actually..
i'll tell you later
promise.
this time i'm serious,
if i lie, i swear no takeout for a week.
sieun:
suhooo
you can't just say that!
now i'm curious
suho <3:
it's okay.
go learn, baby.
sieun:
fine.
Sieun sobbed harder. It was like the man kept switching between caring and being cold. And Sieun didn't like him cold.
If he truly meant nothing, why did he do all of that to people who wanted to pursue something with Sieun? And why wouldn't he tell him?
Probably because he knew that Sieun is too sensitive.
His phone buzzes. Sieun groans.
"Go away, Juntae."
He truly doesn't need a poetic speech anymore.
It buzzes again.
"Leave me alone."
He sinks further into the hoodie and sits staring at the ceiling.
"Wait.. I'm on do not disturb."
Sure enough, he checks his phone, and Ahn Suho suddenly wants to make an appearance.
suho <3:
21:45PM
suho <3:
hi, angel.
have you gotten your outfit?
Sieun's hands tremble as he types. Either from the dehydration constant crying has brought him, depression, or his grumbling stomach corrupting his human function.
sieun:
got it today
suho <3:
about yesterday.
how would you feel if i
you know
started seeing someone
romantically.
sieun:
oh
why are you asking
suho <3:
indulge me?
sieun:
i'll be happy for you.
of course
haha
why wouldn't i be?
"Totally haven't been deep in love with your dumb self since like, forever, haha." Sieun cries.
suho <3:
oh
ok
thanks
sieun:
'ok' ??
what
you never say ok lol
suho <3:
my bad
no
ignore that
i just
nevermind
goodnight
sieun:
night
For one, Suho never says 'My bad'. Not to Sieun at least. For two, Suho says 'Goodnight, Baby' or 'Goodnight, Angel'. No in-between.
And Suho asking for permission to see someone else? What was he thinking? He was a cruel man playing a sick game, and Sieun would rather die than be made a game of.
The audacity to get upset that Sieun didn't confess his love or whatever sick fantasy Suho indulges in. Sieun had every right to dismiss him, and he had every right to be upset because his reason was better!
He shook the thought off, going back to blasting music in his AirPods as he cuddled his plushies (from the top shelf).
He could cancel Friday last minute, say he got into a car accident.
Yeah, he’ll probably do that.
Say he’s sick. Whatever.
He doesn’t end up making excuses. Instead, he ends up getting smothered by Yeongi.
“See I knew something was wrong- no, don’t look at me like that. When my Sieun senses are tingling, mama bear is activated, I knew you were up to something!” She stands proud, beauty blender in hand.
”So you spam me until I tell you everything I know, down to my social security number?” Sieun questions, wincing as she pats the weapon roughly.
“Well, yes,” She giggles. “You wouldn’t have told me.”
“For a reason..” Sieun mumbles.
”Not a good one.” She contradicts.
She smiles at his unresponsive state, and smacks down the beauty blender harder in victory.
She had shown up unannounced after Sieun hadn’t texted in over a week. Normally he’d have something to rant about university but she dismissed it thinking he was simply focused on school. Only to find out he was focused on his love life.
She waited for him to finish his lesson and tracked his location, following him and then cornering him. Passerby’s grimaced as they walked by, misunderstanding the situation.
And now, she took it upon herself to ensure he dresses to impress.
”Stop putting so much glitter.” He complains, trying to bat her hand away.
She slaps his hand, “Stay still.”
”They’re not playing Rihanna, stop.”
“Who cares? Sieun, you seriously need to stop being so selfless. You will look the best, and you will enjoy yourself tonight.” She demands, dropping her hand from his chin as she holds eye contact.
He swallows, “It doesn’t matter.”
”Oh, seriously, this kid- Sieun. Life goes on. It doesn’t pause at Ahn Suho. You will meet more of hims and more of mes.” Her gaze softens.
”There’s more of you? God forbid.”
She glares at him, “Ya!”
“Are you done?”
”I’m gonna bathe you in glitter!”
Sieun steps out the bathroom, club attire on, more precisely, VIP attire on. He felt confident, and he had just sprayed more perfume than he could ever need, probably eating half. Earlier, he had rejected all invites to be driven. Partly because he wanted to cause a scene when he got there, maybe shock a certain someone with the sudden change of attitude.
He did feel bad for his lateness, the agreed time to meet was nine, and it was way past that now. He blamed Yeongi mostly, if she hadn't spent twenty minutes battling him to put on more glitter, he would have been out the house right now and in an uber. He sighs, bending down to zip up his boots, cursing quietly at Yeongi.
His phone buzzes with a message on the floor, he picks it up and unlocks it, calling out to Yeongi to hurry so that he can lock the door.
baekjin
21:18PM
baekjin:
[insert picture of qr code]
use this at the front.
anyone tries anything, call me.👍
sieun:
you make me concerned.
thanks.
sorry again.
baekjin:
it’s fine, dw.
juntae and i are struggling..
we’re not as social.
the guys are flirting with every breathing thing😑
god, are they not tired?
sieun:
uber is right outside
i’ll be there soon!
He didn’t wait for a reply. Yeongi escorted him down the stairs and towards the uber, not before making him pose like a little child being sent to their first day of school.
”You’re all grown up.” She wipes away fake tears, her sad voice dissolving into laughter, Sieun joining her after.
Yeongi was a business owner. A professional at a beauty salon, she specialised in makeup and for months she begged Sieun to come in and get his done by her - he had the visuals, apparently.
”I’ll update you. Probably will go home after like an hour.”
Truthfully, Sieun wishes he didn’t have to go, because every so often his confidence and pre planned speech disappeared and make him re-question whether this was all worth it. Seriously, it’s not as if he’s coming home with Suho tonight - as a couple.
”Please don’t. Get laid, get drunk.” Yeongi instructs.
”You’re a bad influence.” He chuckles, surprising her.
“So i’ve been told,” She raises an eyebrow. ”But seriously, Sieun-ah. You need this.”
“Yeah,” He agrees. “I do.”
Once he’s inside the car, he confirms his name and destination. With headphones in tuning out the soft radio playing in the car, and the occasional sounds of honking. He winced as a pain struck him, he had been digging his fingernails into his palm hard enough to draw the tiniest bit of blood.
Sighing, he unclenched his hands and let them rest on his lap. Tonight would go fine. He will be fine. As long as he wakes up tomorrow, or doesn’t. Maybe he just couldn’t bear the thought of having to one up Suho at his own game all because of his petty undisclosed reasons to distance himself.
It took about fifteen minutes for them to arrive, and Sieun spent a little longer unbuckling the seatbelt and taking his phone out his bag, putting his AirPods back into their case and fixing his hair. When he got out he bid his driver goodbye and smiled politely, bowing slightly he approached the entry.
A large queue, but he could skip right past it, VIP for a reason.
He got plenty of stares, some lurking far too long to be casual lust. He wanted to crawl back into his room and into Suho’s hoodie, and cuddle his stuffed animals, and cry at their texts. But no. He had to go, get drunk, and survive human interaction for at least an hour.
He frowned when he realised he’d most definitely have to stay longer.
He shot Baekjin a quick text, letting him know he’s arrived.
He drew closer to the VIP section, and once he walked in he felt like he had entered a whole other dimension. What is to be expected of the best club in the whole city, and the most expensive too?
So, so many people. Of all ages, but all rich and the time to party. A lot of pretty people too.
Music blaring loudly, making him wince. Lights flashing with the rhythm, hips matching the beat and hands raising at the tempo. All so overwhelming, all so - not Sieun. He walked further down, his destination being the far room with the open curtains, a peak of Humin's grin and Hyeontak's eye roll.
He walked with purpose, a sudden boost of confidence.
Maybe he swayed his hips, slightly.
He should have probably had a drink first. Sieun had a high alcohol tolerance, but when he did get drunk, he got wasted. Sob-story, attachment issues and clingy hands that couldn't keep to themselves.
That's not him tonight, he'll let loose, but not embarrassing loose.
Baekjin had already made his way out, opening his arms for a hug. There was a look of relief in his eyes, almost as if he couldn't survive any longer with the group. Sieun smiled as he walked into the room to, luckily, be met with only familiar faces. He was worried he had to deal with outsiders brought in by - him. Ahn Suho standing proudly, walking with the other guys towards him.
Sieun met his eyes first, before anyone else did, and the look in Suho's eyes was intense. Filled with hunger and a hint of regret, if Sieun wasn't losing it before, he definitely was now. He adjusted the lacey top below his jacket and snapped his head forcefully towards the rest of his friends. A hand rested on his waist as he got pulled into Hyeontak's embrace.
When he finally reached Suho, although the hands stoop towards his hips, it feels as if the breath got knocked out of him. He hadn't hugged Suho in a week, it felt strange to be held again. His hands lingered on his hips for too long, possessively almost, but that might just be Sieun's delusions. He bit his lip as he breathed out a small 'Hey.' and prayed for the best. He let go of Suho first, offering an awkward smile and wincing as Humin's loud voice interrupted his little bubble.
"You look beautiful, angel." Suho comments, dragging his eyes to meet Sieun's own, almost as if it was bothersome to have his eyes elsewhere.
Sieun mumbled a small 'Thanks.' and went to sit next to Juntae, who grinned at him in shared victory. Sieun sent a warning glare and took his leather jacket off, setting his bag down on his lap to pull out his phone and text Yeongi.
From the corner of his eye, he saw Humin scolding Suho, and he squinted his eyes in confusion. Baekjin caught his gaze, and he turns to see what had evidently disturbed Sieun, sighing when he looks back at Sieun. He shot him a look that demands answers, but Baekjin shakes his head and waves a hand in dismissal. Sieun pouts. There was something he wasn't told of.
Once they all were seated at the booth, a full area - meaning no extra visitors that anyone could pluck out, the chatter resumed, laughter ringing out. Sieun did his best to involve himself into their conversation, shaking off the overstimulation and using this as a pre party sort of gig. Until some of them were on the dance floor, the party hadn't truly started.
Juntae begins talking to him, something about drinks, but Sieun wasn't focusing on him - or on those drinks, even though he needed something to numb his feelings now. Suho's eyes scan him, carefully, dangerously. And Sieun suddenly feels small, and clammy, could they turn the AC up? It was a club, for God's sake. Fuck. Suho looked-
"Sieun." Juntae says.
He snaps out his trance, ignoring the smug man with curled hair, black tank top hugging his muscles perfectly, and ear clips somehow making his jawline sharper and his whole self handsomer. What was his name again? He smells so good. And there was a smirk plastered on his face, probably mocking Sieun's crazed state and flushed face. Sieun was going to throttle him.
"Let's go get drinks." Juntae repeats, drawing the attention of everyone else and Baekjin handed them a ticket.
Right, free drinks, so he could have as much or as little and go home. Without Suho, obviously. Not because they weren't on the best terms, but because if he got any closer to Suho he might just end up pouncing on him. He didn't know whether that was the anger speaking.
Juntae had waited for Sieun to arrive to get his drink order, and Sieun felt grateful because he needed distance and space after laying his eyes on Suho. He let Juntae lead him towards the bar, matching his pace and avoiding the bodies that surrounded him on the dance floor, sighing when he barely dodges a wandering hand.
Once they had placed several orders to be brought to them, they asked for shots, specifically for Sieun. He needed to loosen up, and Juntae didn't press on the matter but Sieun got the hint when he asked for the strongest they have.
"We can stay a couple more minutes, or so." Juntae reassures him, his tone soft and a hand going up to reach his shoulder and pat it.
Sieun hums in response, taking a seat at the stool next to him. From his peripheral vision he could see Juntae hesitating, as if he's itching to share his thoughts, mouth opening then closing.
"Go on." Sieun presses, turning his head to meet Juntae's eyes, full of hesitancy.
"I know you're probably not staying for long, but please just.. have fun."
"I am. Having fun, I mean. I'll stay longer if it convinces you." He replies, unsure whether he can stick to that.
Juntae beams at him, with teeth and all. Sieun returns a small smile, hands moving to grab the shot glass and downing it in one. Grimacing as the taste burns his throat, yet rejoicing at the thought of his drunken self having to deal with the emotions rather than his sober self.
He didn’t want to face the thought of having Ahn Suho standing in front of him motionless. He wants the room to be spinning, and he preferably wants himself to laugh off whatever joke the universe decides to throw at him.
”I know you like me.”
Sieun shivers.
”Yah, how many are you going to take?” Juntae stares, eyes flicking from the shots in front of them to his face.
”I need to be tipsy. You said you didn’t want yours.” Sieun responds.
“Okay, enough, we stayed way past a couple minutes. Let’s go back.”
He follows the shorter man through the crowd yet again, this time leaning a bit more into the bodies littering the dance floor, hoping he’d get swept away. Juntae seemingly picks up on this, as his hand grabs at Sieun’s wrist blindly, latching onto it and pulling him harder.
By this point, his body begins to feel more relaxed and warmer, yet he’s not tipsy or losing his balance yet. Just a little more and he won’t have to deal with any of this. Screw you, Suho.
Soon, they were seated at the booth again with new rounds of drinks and bottles greeting them. They clinked their glasses together and dedicated them towards their one week break.
”Let’s have a fun night, mm?” Baku says, reminding Sieun that this night isn’t about petty revenge, but about growing as a friend group and developing their.. maturing and intelligence?
Seongje had came back from whatever he was doing when Sieun had gone for drinks, he came back with a girl on his arm and a glass in the other. Presumably the girl’s. He set it down and instructed them to look after it.
”Ah, Sieun-ah, hello!” Seongje waves, his speech slurred before tumbling back out.
Sieun raises an eyebrow, “Who is driving him home?”
Baekjin snorts, shaking his head.
“He’s always with a new girl, man.” Hyeontak sucks his teeth, disappointment lacing his voice.
”He’s only an adult once, Taka.” Juntae sighs.
”Speaking of girls, Suho-ya.” Humin calls.
Sieun’s ears perk up, and he shoots a glance to Humin from his phone, deciding whether he should pretend he’s not listening or have no shame. In a second, he downs the rest of his drink subtly, and lifts his head up to look at the man. Oddly enough, everyone seemed interested in the conversation, as all phones were now turned off and silence had taken over.
”Baku?” Suho asks.
“How are you and Yeji, hm?”
What..
Who the hell is Yeji?
”What?” Suho looks shocked, asshole.
”You know, the girl you met at the club last week, one of many.” Humin winks.
Sieun bites his lip. Alcohol made him emotional. He digs his fingernails into his jeans, hoping to feel the pain elsewhere, his heart had taken enough.
”Uh..” Suho eyes the rest of the group.
”Ah, yes, Yeji! How is she?” Hyeontak hums, snapping his fingers as if he had just remembered a distant memory.
Suho’s eyes fall onto Sieun, and he tilts his head in question, as if to prompt Suho to respond.
Suho stutters, “She’s good. Yeah.”
“That’s good to hear! I remember when we went, every guy and girl was all over you, man.” Humin taps his finger on the desk, reminiscing.
Hyeontak bobs his head in agreement, taking small sips from his drink.
”Everyone was dying to know if you were single.” Hyeontak adds.
”No one has claimed him yet!” Baku replies, his contagious laugh prompting the others to join in.
Juntae pats Sieun’s thigh underneath the table, which he hadn’t noticed had been shaking all along.
“I’m gonna go,” Sieun clears his throat. “Dance a little.”
He pours himself another shot, and doesn’t hesitate as he slams it back down, shooting the group a small smile as an invitation. Hyeontak gets up quickly to go after him, and Sieun hopes its to dance, not to question anything about Suho.
“Yah, wait up! Just because Seongje decided to be independent today, doesn’t mean you can.” He slings an arm around Sieun’s shoulders, which was probably for the best as all the alcohol he had consumed began getting to him.
Sieun had already been here for an hour or so, he had promised Juntae more, but upon hearing how little he mattered in his best friend’s life, he wasn’t sure he wanted that anymore.
It wasn’t because he was jealous of this Yeji. Maybe he was, a little. But he felt sick to hear that he didn’t even know Suho started seeing someone, even though he had asked, it’s like five years had gone down the drain.
And now, he was with his friends - excluding Seongje - on the dance floor as if nothing had happened. Suho was right across him-
No.
Suho was with a girl, he recognised his back profile from here and he saw the way the girl had her arms wrapped around his neck. God, what he would give to have his hands there too, instead strangling the man.
Suho looked to be enjoying himself, from Sieun’s angle he couldn’t see any resistance. Just how many people does Suho have wrapped around his fingers? He suddenly feels an urge to slap some sense in the guy, he had a whole ‘girlfriend’ yet look at him holding another girl’s waist, and swaying.
That’s what Sieun assumes, anyway. He can’t make out much from the people knocking up on each other, or from Hyeontak’s hands as they both let the music take over. Even then, though, Sieun’s eyes can’t seem to stay focused on his dancing partner, instead they travel back to Suho’s frame.
Which had now disappeared.
God.
He didn’t even want to imagine why.
He swallows the bile climbing his throat, and he excuses himself to go to the bathroom, mumbling something about touching up his makeup. The least obvious excuse, because having to go toilet to pee would mean an invitation or something, as far as he was concerned - Juntae didn’t really care about touching up his makeup.
This way, he could be alone. And this way, he could text Yeongi.
Yeongi
23:31PM
sieun:
in like 10 mins call me
get me out of here
say your dad died or something
yeongi:
he did die
when i was 4.
sieun wtf happened?
sieun:
i was right
and i actually fucking wished i wasn’t
i’m such a loser
yeongi:
i’ll come over, ok?
we can cuddle
and watch spiderman
or some other stupid shit
sieun:
no
i want to be alone
for real
i’ll text you tomorrow
just please
i can’t deal with anyone right now
i just want space
yeongi:
fuck, fine
please text me, ok?
don’t do anything stupid
i’m resisting everything
seokdae holding me back
he’s bribing me with food
we can ft, is that ok?
i just want to comfort you
sieun:
i know
i’m sry
i’ve had a lot to drink
yeongi:
the only reason you’re not making a shit ton of typos is because it’s about suho
sieun:
lol wtv
call me, ok?
i need out.
and an uber
yeongi:
just say i called you now
and i got broken up with
and that i’m at your house
alrdy
so you can’t leave me
sieun:
you rlly codn’f say its your dad
wow
yeongi:
you’re drunk
go home.
i love you text me
sieun:
will
love you 2
As if on time, Juntae walks into the bathroom, face full of concern. He scans the bathroom until his eyes land on Sieun, who is clutching the phone carefully - as if he had just had an important call. He tried his hardest to muster up his inner actor and make himself look worried..
”What’s wrong?” Juntae questions, striding towards him.
”Yeongi’s girlfriend just broke up with her.” Sieun mumbles.
”Oh.. That’s so sad. How is she?” Juntae sighs.
“Not good. She’s at mine right now, I’m gonna have to go. You know, she’d be really sad.” Sieun informs, chewing on the inside of his cheek as he waits for Juntae to reply.
”So sad,” Juntae agrees. “Really sad. Now, is that the best excuse you can come up with?”
What had Sieun expected? He’s a bad liar when he’s drunk, and even when he’s sober, only Suho can see through him. He averts his eyes from Juntae and sticks to looking at the door, hoping nobody else would walk in.
”I tried. I did, trust me. But I can’t.” Sieun breaks his act, shoulders slumping and a frown plastering his face.
Juntae scans him, and a look of pity is in his eyes, which instantly makes him feel humiliated because he didn’t want it to get to this. Had he kept quiet and kept his sadness hidden, nobody would have found anything out.
“I understand. I’ll tell the others you’re not feeling well, okay? Make your way out.”
Sieun nods, smiling sadly in gratitude.
”Sieun-ah, don’t feel bad. It’s not your fault, it was supposed to be a group hangout.” Juntae reassures him, Sieun can only nod in response.
He walks out quickly, moving towards their room in as much sneakiness as he can. Hoping that nobody would be in there. And to his luck, nobody was. He wanted to keep it that way.
He grabs his jacket hurriedly and checks his phone to see if Yeongi had ordered the uber yet, dismissing her texts asking when to call. He fixes his jacket and takes a swig of one of the bottles, grunting at the sharp taste.
He breathes a sigh of relief when Yeongi informs him of the uber’s distance, and he starts walking out the room, quicker now. With little confidence left, and mostly cowardice left in him, he sneaks a look towards where he saw Suho last.
Why does he keep doing this to himself?
As if to mock him, Sieun could now fully see Suho’s profile. He was seated on a couch near the wall with the whole group, excluding Juntae. A group of girls were accompanying them and Sieun saw the way mystery dance woman was caressing Suho’s hair, and his cheek.
They were all deep into conversation as Humin emphasised his points with his hands, flailing them wildly, only adding nothing to his low reputation when it came to flirting. Not Sieun’s problem anymore.
But Sieun couldn’t draw his eyes away from the hand placed on Suho’s cheek. The bastard didn’t even try pull away, he just had a slight crease between his eyebrows and he rested a hand on the lady’s thighs.
What were they, newly weds?
Sieun grits his teeth, finally making it out of that shithole. When he inhales a breath of fresh air, he feels the tiniest bit of relaxed. Right now he was focused on getting home safely.
He spotted his uber’s number plate, and his legs dragged him there. He felt as if a weight was holding him back, one of uncertainty and regret. One that practically begged him to go back in there and claim Suho as his own. But he didn’t listen.
Instead, he got into the uber, and he opened his phone to check if his friends had messaged.
The curiosity had gotten the better of him. So, he checked Instagram.
Then, in Humin’s story, a vivid picture of Suho and club lady touching lips, because Sieun shuddered at the thought of Suho kissing someone else, was captioned:
“Aha, our lady stealer.”
What did she have, that he didn’t? Tattoos? Piercings?
Humin was grinning in the picture, as behind him the woman was half in Suho’s lap, her face covering Suho’s but her hand was placed on his jaw. Deep into the kiss.
Sieun would call it corny, but when he got home he didn’t wash off his makeup, didn’t even take off his clothes. He just went to the living room and cuddled up on the couch as he played background noise in the back to help him stay alert.
Currently, his fingers were busy hesitating on his and Suho’s chats.
Thank fuck he was drunk.
suho.
00:12AM
sieun:
i don’t ever want to hear from you again
ur genuinely the biggest dick ever
i swear
u can’f do that to me
not me suho
i have been with you since high school
and all i get is fucking crumbs from you
i don’t even care that ur dating her
bc god do what u want lol
but i had to fucking hear
from baku
and gotak
that u r taken
then i have to see u dance w somebody else
abd u left me
u never leave me
ever
uve been by my side for all this time
and i get you dont want to be anymkre
its whatever
but dont make it so obvious
that you hate me
i
fuck
i can’f
Incoming call: suho.
Sieun declined it, he was full on sobbing now, even if he wanted to say something he physically couldn’t.
Suho kept on going though.
Call after call.
Sieun declined each one of them.
His phone buzzed again, this time from Humin.
Then from Hyeontak.
Then a couple texts.
suho.:
sieun
please
answer
baby
please
please
He picked up on Hyeontak’s second call.
”Oh God, Sieun-ah. Can you hear me?”
He sniffles, “Mhm.”
”Look, Suho’s driving, he’s had a lot to drink. Please call him back, he’ll explain everything.”
”Why would you let him to?” He shouts
”We couldn’t stop him! Sieun-ah, please hear me out, it wasn’t supposed to go this way.”
”What?” Sieun is confused now, he wipes his tears with the back of his hand as he grips his phone tightly against his ear.
”I- I can’t explain for him. It’s all Humin’s fault. Just let Suho in, okay? I’m sorry, Sieun-ah.”
”Hyeon- Gotak, what?” He demands.
”Call Suho, okay? He’s going to be there soon, he’s speeding.”
”Tell me, now.” Sieun orders, he’s gotten up to walk to the front door.
“Yah, I’ve already pissed him off enough, you want me to die?”
There was a loud banging at his door, and Suho began calling his name.
”You’re dead, Gotak.”
”I know.”
Then the call ends. And Sieun opens the door, all teary eyed, with his top soaked in tears. Some still coming out. Lips and eyes puffy.
And Suho just looked at him as if he was the most beautiful creature on earth. His lips were trembling, and his chest was rising and falling with each breath, possibly because he had ran from his car to get here.
His arm was rested on the doorway, and for a couple of seconds the two just stared at each other.
Until Sieun spoke, and his voice broke.
“What happened to you, Suho?”
Suho looked at him, a silent question.
Sieun moved out the way, making room for the man to walk in. But he didn’t need room, or space, because the moment the door closed, Suho held him tightly.
He scoffs at the audacity.
“God, you’re such a fucking ass,” Sieun sobs, his fists pushing at Suho’s chest in an attempt to get away. “You can’t just-“
Even as his fists hit in a desperate attempt to get away, Suho doesn’t let go, he holds him dearly and lets himself get hit. He strokes Sieun’s hair, fingers soothing him. And his head is rested on Sieun’s own, pressing kisses every so often as the shorter’s trembling body exhausts itself.
Sieun just sobs, and his words die in his throat, each insult and sentence he had prepared vanish as the arms tighten around him.
He lets himself be picked up and carried towards his bedroom. He doesn’t resist anymore, too tired to fight and too tired to speak. He just leans into the touch and shakes quietly.
Once he’s placed onto his bed, he feels Suho lifting his chin softly as a bottle of water is held to his lips, he parts them and allows the liquid to flow - helping him breathe and stop his trembles.
And Suho waits.
He gives him time, even if it took around half an hour for Sieun to calm down completely. He holds him through it, and he doesn’t let him go once. Just manoeuvres him into his lap, and presses him closer.
Sieun just sits like that, his arms holding the man close. His head is rested on Suho’s shoulder, and it’s turned so that he is directly facing the crook of his neck, breathing in his scent and feeling his pulse and hearing Suho’s short breaths.
A hand is rubbing soothing circles on his back, switching between patting every so often.
“I’m okay now. We can talk.” Sieun mumbles.
“Okay.”
Sieun starts to move, feeling it’s best he gets off of Suho’s lap, but a strong arm around his waist prevent him from doing so.
“Stay.” Suho whispers, reaching up and kissing his forehead, and Sieun melts against him.
He blinks, realising it was now or never.
”I have been in love with you for five years.” Sieun confesses.
His heart less heavy.
”God, that felt good,” He chuckles. “I’m sorry. If you’re weirded out, or anything,
But ever since I met you, ever since you picked up my pencil case and looked at me in such a dorky way. Ever since you told me my eyes were pretty, ever since you told me I should smile more. Some things I’ve never been told. I couldn’t keep my feelings quiet, then you switch up and suddenly it feels like you’re not mine anymore. And then I hear you found s-someone and I just couldn’t anymore.”
He expected a laugh. Maybe a snort.
But no. They stayed in silence for two whole minutes as Sieun shifts in his lap, waiting for a response or waiting for a hole to open beneath him and swallow him whole.
Suho had such an intensity in his eyes. Full of emotions that clouded each other, he blinked slowly and his lips parted every so often as if to speak yet hesitant.
Then, finally,
”Back when grandma was supporting me, I used to work a shit ton of part time jobs.”
Sieun blinks, then he nods slowly.
”Each time i fell asleep in the classroom, I would wake up and see you studying, all alone - and I would think, “Damn, what is this kid going through?” because in all those years I had lived, I couldn’t imagine someone willingly waking up that early for school.”
Sieun huffs, smacking his arm. Only to be met with the same dorky look Suho had given him the first time they met.
”Then for the next year, I watched you. Everything you ate, drank, if you were to eat.I watched how your eyes twitched and how you gripped your pen tighter whenever those class idiots were being even louder.”
Sieun tears up again, and Suho smiles at him, reaching up again. He presses a butterfly kiss to each teary eye gently, Sieun flutters them open as heat rises on his face, and he clears his throat as he looks down at his fidgeting hands. Peering up through his lashes, reminding Suho to continue.
”I developed a crush on you afterwards. I wanted you so bad. And then I got you. But I never dreamed of losing you. You’re oblivious, Yeon Sieun, you know that? Everyone caught on but you.”
“What?” Sieun asks.
”Baku came up with the idea. Each time I’d text you, he’d take over and ensure I acted on my part of the deal.”
“Deal?”
“If you like me, I have to find him a lover. And if you didn’t, he’d stop pestering us all for a month.”
“Are you serious?” Sieun deadpans.
”As a heart attack, baby.” Suho grins.
”I’m just a deal?” He presses.
”No, angel. I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to do it the second I cancelled on you.”
”For two whole weeks.” He corrected.
”Baku, Gotak and Seongje. They wanted to see how you’d react if I stopped being ‘clingy’ and instead distance myself.” He whispers.
”Are you serious, Ahn Suho?” He frowns.
”I shouldn’t have listened to them, I know, I’m really sorry. I love you so much, a lot. I’m so pathetic even some girls at the club saw straight past me. Baby, I just need you, so, so bad.” Suho’s breath quickens.
“Yeji?” Sieun fires.
“Made up. I was as confused as you.”
Sieun squints his eyes, “Humin’s story?”
”Ploy to make you jealous.”
“She was basically on your lap.”
”Yeah well, she’s also lesbian.” Suho nods.
“Ah.”
Two idiots in love.
And Sieun hadn’t known it until now.
It felt amazing, it felt blissful. He didn’t want to wake up, ever.
Not that it was a dream, he quickly confirms once he pinches himself. Suho is looking at him with a look that screams disbelief, and Sieun wants to laugh at him, he would’ve had it not been for the closeness of their bodies - he felt the heat between them. Suho seemed to notice, and Sieun shifted closer - his eyes hazy with lust, pressing against the hardening cock beneath him.
“Fuck, baby. You drive me insane.” Suho whispers, eyes flicking from Sieun’s own to his lips.
Sieun looks at him through his lashes, daringly. He lets out a short, shaky breath and watches as Suho’s eyes follow the movement of his lips.
”Sieun-ah,” Suho pants. “Sieunnie. Let me kiss you.”
All it takes is one nod from Sieun, and then he has a mouth full of Ahn Suho.
Their lips meet, and for a second it’s gentle. The kiss filled with the love shared over the last five years, a desperation behind it, Sieun’s hands reaching out to hold the man’s face in his hands as he deepens the kiss. He felt it all. All the love, heat and obsession.
His thighs press against Suho’s own, straddling his lap. He grabs a fistful of his hair as he feels his tongue peeking into his mouth, swiping across his lip in question. Sieun parts his lips desperately, matching the fast pace. He feels Suho gripping his hips with enough force to leave them bruised, the only thing separating them being his clothing.
They pull apart to breathe, and Suho is grinning at him dumbly. He smiles adoringly, a thumb reaching out to caress his cheek.
“I love you.”
Suho’s grin widens, “I love you more.”
Sieun rolls his eyes, pressing a kiss to his forehead.
Suho kisses him again, with more passion this time, and he keeps an arm around Sieun’s waist as he lifts him off his lap, twisting them around so that Sieun’s back hits the mattress softly.
Suho bites his bottom lip roughly, earning a soft whimper from the man beneath him. He curses in Sieun’s mouth, earning a small snort. He parts from his mouth, then focuses on his jaw, biting and sucking. Sieun’s breath comes out in pants as Suho sucks on a spot beneath his jaw, and he squirms from underneath.
With each bite, Suho trails kisses all over. Then he sucks harder on a particular spot, earning a quiet moan from the shorter, who digs his fingers into his hair.
He hums, “Sensitive?”
Sieun doesn’t reply, so he sucks harder, biting the abused area before kissing it. Taking pleasure in the way Sieun writhes from underneath, biting his lip in an attempt to muffle his sound as he feels heat build in his belly, a pleasurable feeling.
Suho continues his attacks, and he tugs on the hem of Sieun’s top, prompting him to take it off. Sieun obeys, sitting up quickly. Suho tosses the top across the room and pushes him back into the mattress, he trails kisses across his chest, tongue swiping across a nipple while his fingers hook around Sieun’s belt.
That comes off within seconds.
Suho bites the nub, resulting in a breathless moan, he pinches and squeezes the other one. He bites and sucks around the area, and Sieun’s back arches off the mattress, squeezing his thighs in an attempt to find some friction.
”Suho,” He moans. “Suho-ya.”
His fingers tangle in Suho’s hair, pressing his face into his chest, he can feel the man smirk against his skin, then a chuckle vibrates against him. Against the sensitive skin, and he begins clawing.
”Patience, angel.” Suho murmurs, his hands grazing the curve of Sieun’s waist, making the man twitch as his breath comes out short and purely, wrecked.
Suho’s hand moves between Sieun’s thighs, giving him hope for friction, only to part them as he positions his knees between Sieun’s thighs - holding them open.
Sieun whines, hips rutting into thin air as his fist tightens in Suho’s hair. Unsure of whether to focus on the relentless mouth, the tantalising graze of his fingertips, or the closeness of their-
A loud moan stops his thoughts, not that he made any coherent thoughts.
Suho was rubbing him through his jeans and he begins grinding into Suho’s hand. Then, everything stops, and Suho lifts himself off the bed. He stands in front of Sieun, his hands grabbing the hem of shirt and lifting it, chucking it across the room and leaving Sieun to drink in the sight.
He shamelessly stares at the man before him. He has never, ever, been full of so much want and desire - not even in the sense of grades or achievements. What he wants, and what he has wanted, is Suho. Preferably now, inside him.
And when Suho turns around, he’s about to miss the sight of those abs, and the curves of firm muscle and a thin layer of sweat. Suho always sweat easily. His back could do too, Sieun wanted to ruin him just as he’s being ruined, he wanted to dig his nails into him and ruin him for everybody else that comes after - if there is an after Sieun, there is a before and during but never an after.
“Bottom left.” He calls.
Suho hums.
In a second, a bottle of lube is tossed onto the bed, next to Sieun. Suho gestures at his jeans, Sieun understands, desperately moving to take them off. Then he’s left naked, bare, in front of a half clothed Suho.
His breath catches in his throat as he meets Suho’s gaze, full of need and hunger. He’s left waiting as Suho doesn’t move, doesn’t speak. He waits for him to say something, or to make a move.
But no, Suho much prefers to stare at the ruined boy beneath him. Purple marks blooming all over his chest and neck, hair a tangled mess, and lips coated in saliva - shining a beautiful red with a slight coat of blood he drew earlier.
“You’re mine.” He confirms, breathless.
He moves towards Sieun, taking his own belt off, alongside his pants. Tossing them in the same direction. He leaves no room for Sieun to respond, as he wraps a hand around his cock, thumb pressing on the slit as he smears the precum all over the head.
”Su-suho,” He pants. “Oh- Oh, fuck. Fuck.”
His lips part and he throws his head back, forming an ‘O’ and his eyes flutter closed. Suho bends down to peck at his neck, altering between sucking his nipple and biting. His other hand reaches out to pinch and prod at the other nub.
”Baby,” He murmurs against his skin, his hand stopping and withdrawing as he feels Sieun rut against him. “My Sieun.”
Sieun cries, feeling so incredibly turned on, yet so tortured. Each time he felt the heat coil, each time he felt he got closer, Suho would withdraw. He felt so sick. He needed him.
“Please, please,” He sobs, tears falling. “Suho-ya. Come on, please.”
Suho coos, his thumb swiping at a fallen tear.
“What do you want, baby?”
He bends down to peck at Sieun’s thighs, drawing closer to his cock.
Sieun pants, “You. Please. I need you.”
“Use your words, angel.” Suho mocks.
He bites the inside of his thighs, and sucks harshly as a string of curses escape the shorter’s mouth.
”Inside me. I need you, and I need you now. I can’t- Please.” He begs, holding onto Suho’s hand and intertwining their fingers.
”You want me to fuck you, baby? Is that it?”
Sieun nods quickly.
”Sorry,” He tuts. “Not tonight. I want to make love to you, okay? Will you let me do that, Sieun-ah?”
He nods, again, with so much need in his eyes. Suho almost felt bad. His hand reaches to press against the slit of his cock, and Sieun arches into him, panting.
“Words, Sieun.”
He cries, “Yes. Yes, please. Do whatever you want to me, please.”
“There we go.” He chuckles.
Sieun hadn’t felt this overwhelmed in ages, he was corrupted with hunger and painful desire. A trembling, teary-eyed mess at Suho’s mercy to do as he pleased. Suho climbs onto the bed, and his hands trail the line of hickeys on Sieun’s chest, tentatively.
Sieun sighs, taking slow and shaky breaths as his heart beats wildly against his rib cage, anticipation and impatience seeping through him. It would be there first time together, and Sieun would not take it for granted regardless of his whiney state.
He wanted it so, so bad. He felt electrical, he felt charged. Each time they touched, heat would shock him.
Suho’s hands are replaced by his lips, and the gentleness of it is almost ironic as only a couple minutes ago he was dragging Sieun through hell and back with torturous teeth. Sieun feels contended.
He hears the pop of a bottle cap, followed by the squirt of lube onto Suho’s fingers. Suho sits over him now, and they’re looking in each other’s eyes. Sieun swallows, unable to focus on the man’s eyes as his finger draws closer.
It felt cold against his skin, his thighs twitching, but Suho brings his hand down - pressing onto him to hold him still. Sieun sneaks a glance, and he whimpers at the sight of a large, veiny hand settled on a singular thigh - which disappears beneath it.
“Look at you, so perfect for me, hm?” Suho hums, bringing himself down to meet Sieun’s lips.
Their lips move in sync, and their tongues intertwine as a finger circles Sieun’s rim. He whines into the kiss, but Suho only presses himself in further, his index finger slowly slipping in and stretching the tight heat.
Sieun tries to squirm, but Suho’s hand holding him down had been replaced with his knees placed between his legs. Sieun moans into the kiss as Suho begins curling his finger into him, stretching him deliciously.
They pull apart to breathe and a string of saliva snaps as Suho pants above him, and Sieun feels another finger slip in.
This time, Suho pistons his fingers - angling them with purpose, and he beings thrusting them in lazily. A moan rips out of Sieun’s throat and his voice breaks as he feels tension build in his lower stomach. Heat pools, and there’s a need to release.
He doesn’t have much time to process anything though, because suddenly Suho’s fingers press against his prostate and he screams - his hips rutting up against the air as he’s left stringing out incoherent mumbles.
Suho smirks, “All about you, baby.”
Sieun’s view is hazy as he looks up at Suho, tears pooling in his eyes from the constant teasing.
Yet Suho doesn’t stop, he keeps going - he’s a man on a mission. A third flinger slips in, and her curls them - back and forth, thrusting them - hitting his prostate, abusively.
Teeth latch onto his nipple, and he swears he feels his back crack with the sheer force he uses to press against him. Simultaneously, a hand slides up and down his cock, and he loses all consideration for his neighbours as he moans shamelessly.
It was a blissful feeling, and his stomach clenched as he felt so, so sensitive and delicate. Suho doesn’t pause, he doesn’t move further - it seems he’s dedicated to bringing pleasure only for Sieun.
Sieun doesn’t know how to move. He tries thrusting into Suho’s hand but the angle is awkward enough, and the knees pushing his thighs apart don’t allow for any movement. He was quite literally at Suho’s mercy, all presented for him to attack.
”S-suho. O-oh, fuck. I’m c-close, Suho.”
He moans out his name loudly, throwing his head back and he clenches around the intrusive fingers and feels the knees between him shift closer - allowing him to begin thrusting upwards, Suho is now sinking his teeth into the neglected nipple he hadn’t been sucking on.
Suho didn’t care for his own pleasure, his own problem hanging painfully between his legs as he watched the love of his life scream his name deliciously. He could wait, right now all he wanted was to baptise himself in Sieun.
”Come on, baby.” He murmurs against his skin.
And the asshole thrusts his fingers faster, now only hitting his prostate directly. Sieun’s vision whitens out, his eyes roll back as his orgasm hits him deliciously. He cries out as Suho’s fingers are relentless, the aftershock waves reducing him to nothing but a twitching and sobbing mess.
”Such a good boy, yes?” Suho asks, hand withdrawing from Sieun’s cock.
He slips his fingers out, dragging them against the walls - watching as Sieun is reduced to a babbling mess.
“Can you take more, baby?”
Sieun nods desperately, lips trembling as he opens his eyes to meet Suho.
”Sieun?”
“Y-yes.” He confirms.
Suho hums, grabbing the bottle of lube. He squirts some on his cock and begins lathering himself, giving Sieun a show. Who just stares. Because all this time spent together tonight, he still hadn’t paid attention to the size of him.
Suho was bigger than average, way bigger. And Sieun didn’t want to think of how that would even fit. His cock twitches in interest as his mouth waters, and he looks pleadingly at Suho.
The man’s smug grin doesn’t wipe off his face, instead he begins to position himself between Sieun’s legs, grabbing a pillow.
“Lift your hips, baby,” He orders, pecking Sieun’s forehead when he obeyed. “Good boy.”
Sieun whines as he feels the head of his cock press against his hole, which tries to flutter close in resistance, but Suho’s quicker. He slowly slides inside Sieun, and his head is thrown back as he pants, sweat dripping down his whole body.
Sieun watches, eyebrows furrowed as he bites his lips at the intrusion, a mix of pain and pleasure entangled in his stomach. Suho’s hands are on his hips, guiding himself and using him as stability.
”You’re so tight.” He breathes.
Sieun whimpers in response, “Please.”
“Patience.”
Sieun is beyond frustrated and needy.
But then, Suho is completely inside him. The slow drag of his hips loosens his hole, and Sieun’s hands move towards his back, pressing him closer as he rocks his hips against Suho’s own.
Meanwhile Suho keeps his eyes on Sieun’s face, searching for signs of discomfort and no pleasure. When met with none, he withdraws his cock completely, ignoring the words of protest coming out from Sieun’s mouth as he gives him some time to breathe before he pushes himself into him again.
Sieun drags out a long moan, only encouraging Suho. Who begins thrusting his hips at a faster pace, not exactly out of impatience. He angles his hips again, looking to find the spot that reduces Sieun to a babbling mess again.
Bingo. Sieun screams. A guttural moan rips out from his throat as the abused prostate is once again being hit continuously, each thrust meeting the spot deliciously, and slipping further into Sieun.
The stretch is mouth-watering, all pain he had originally felt had morphed into pleasure.
Sieun found himself growing closer to his second orgasm, and Suho could tell with the way his thighs began shaking and with the way his hole clenches painfully on him. Suho groans, and he moves harder as he felt his own orgasm approaching.
He reaches out a hand to meet Sieun’s own, he holds it tightly as his hips move quicker. He intertwines their fingers together, and feels Sieun squeeze around him.
”A-ah, I-I’m close.” Sieun breathes out.
Suho grunts in agreement, and his own stomach begins to tighten as he chases release. Suddenly, a scream leaves Sieun as he comes, his cock spurting out come on his stomach. He moans as he clenches impossibly tighter around Suho, the tight head persuading release.
Suho follows shortly, even as he fucks Sieun through his second orgasm, as he fucks him through the bliss - riding out the feeling. He moves to pull out, but a hand tugging his forearm stops him from doing so; the look in Sieun’s eyes pleading. How could Suho refuse?
He comes with a low moan in Sieun, and he grinds into him afterwards, riding out his orgasm.
He falls on top of Sieun, who shoves him off with a whine. Suho laughs, lying next to him. He reaches out a hand and tucks Sieun’s hair behind his ear, whose eyes are staring at him with so many emotions that Suho doesn’t think he deserves.
”Hey.” Suho grins.
Sieun snorts, “Hi, idiot.”
minions, assemble
6:34AM
suho:
[insert imagine of Sieun tucked into his chest, sleeping]
never kill yourself
9:23AM
juntae:
aha why were you awake at that time
…
suho.
sieun?
is that a post sex picture
oh my god
no??? you’ve corrupted him :(((((
baku:
hi, team!
just came to spread love and positivity
and just remember
what happens in the past - is the past!
seongje:
lmao😭
bro does NOT want to get fucked up
baku:
bruh
fuck u
u was in it too ho
gotak:
ok mr. “if you make sieun cry it means he’s in love with you”
so stupid
genuinely
99IQ ahh
probably decreased to 50
Lmao
juntae:
babe
shush
baku:
why am i the only bitchless one
baekjin:
pretty sure suho was planning to incapitate you later on
no more evil plans, you’re doomed to be bitchless
baku:
FFS
SIEUNNIE
ICE PRINCESS
FORGIVE ME
seongje:
@suho
how many rounds did ya’ll go
juntae:
ew??
suho:
we made love first
..
then 5
anyways
baku catch me outside
baku:
i’m litro the reason you got a bf
ugh
ungrateful.
fin.