Chapter Text
*Earth-62406, 2028, 12:00, Iris and Aidan’s living room with Freddie, Iris, and Aidan*
Aidan Wood: …explain to me again why your parents are babysitting the kids today?
Iris Wood: because today is Leo and Caitlin’s date, meaning today, ASAP you need to get your butt over to S.T.A.R. Labs, and scare her shitless before that happens, and the two of us are going to
Aidan: …and I’m the one doing this because?
Freddie Weasley: because she has Barry and Cisco as her best friends and you’re the only one with Super-speed so you’re the only one of us that can threaten her
Aidan: I don’t know if I can do this, we’ve all met Caitlin she’s SUPER nice, there’s no way she’d hurt Leo, besides, wouldn’t it make more sense for one of you two, or literally anyone else in the family to be doing this
Iris: again, you’re the only one with super-speed, love
Aidan: *groans*
Iris: *smirks* …If you do it, when you get back…*whispers something in his ear*
Aidan: …alright, I’ll try, you’re lucky I love you Iris
Iris: I know, now suit up and get your ass to S.T.A.R.
Aidan: *charges his suit ring and runs into his orange speedster suit*
Iris: …I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of seeing you in that suit…we’ll have to ask the speed force if there’s a way you can keep the suit after your speed is gone because–
Freddie dryly: Iris…I’m still HERE
Iris giving absolutely zero shits: …and that’s stopping me from flirting with my husband becauseeee?
Freddie dryly: because Aidan needs to go to S.T.A.R. Labs
Iris: *sighs dryly* you’re a buzzkill, you know that Freddie?
Freddie dryly: forgive me if I don’t want to see my sister flirting in front of me
Aidan bluntly: uh-huh, are you going to remember that when you’re flirting with MY sister in front of me?
Freddie: I–uhhhh…
Iris: *bursts into laughter*
Aidan: aaand, that’s what I thought
Freddie: Shut up!
Iris: and I believe that’s checkmate Freddie, nice play there love *kisses him* *between kisses* now get your ass to the bar
Aidan: *kisses back then breaks it* alright, I will *pulls out his extrapolator and opens a green breach then runs through it*
Freddie: …he’s gonna botch this isn’t he?
Iris: …maybe? I don’t know, let’s have some faith in him…we give him twenty minutes then we go just in case
*the Multiversal Bar*
Oliver Queen/Green Arrow/The Spectre: *sipping a beer* So tell me Sara, how’s mom's life treating you?
Sara Lance/White Canary (Earth-Prime): Honestly? It’s great Ollie, it really helps that all the legends have been helping to raise her, even some of the ones who quit, Ray and Nora have been giving us some great tips for baby raising since they had theirs first, same with Jax, as well as Kendra and Carter, Rory is a really good babysitter, I guess he has a lot of practice with his 48 alien babies
Barry Allen/The Flash (Earth-Prime): his what??
Sara: it’s a long story, but Mick has 48 half alien half human babies with his Alien baby mama Kayla, one fully grown human daughter, and a grandson
Barry: …you know I have to say out of all the legends, I never thought Rory would be one to have kids
Sara: honestly none of us did, and he ended up having more than any of us clocking 49 kids and a grandson
Barry: damn…that’s definitely something…you know I just realized, with you Sara, that means all three of us have kids now
Sara: Oh yeah! The only one of the four who doesn’t is Kara
Barry: to be fair she only just got together with her new boyfriend, I don’t even know who the guy is
Sara: fair, but she told me during our last girls night, the guy’s from Gotham and his name was Richard something…I just remembered that he went by Dick
Barry: *eyes widening* was the name Richard Grayson by any chance?
Sara: *snaps her fingers* you know, it was!
Barry: …if we ever bring Kara here we’ll probably have to tell her about guardian Dick, Oliver
Sara: …Ollie what is he talking about
Oliver: well you see Sara, there’s a hero who’s a part of our team, the Multiversal Guardians, from Earth-89, goes by nightwing, but he real name is…Dick Grayson
Sara: HE’S NIGHTWING?!?!
Barry: …considering Bruce is Batman, are we really surprised though?
Sara: …okay that actually makes sense
Oliver: oh, hang on, we got a breach in coming *a green breach opens up as Aidan runs out of it*
Aidan: Hey Oliver! Hey Barry! …who’s your friend?
Oliver: Aidan Wood, meet Sara Lance, Sara, this is Aidan, he’s from Earth-62406
Sara: *shakes his hand* nice to meet you Aidan
Aidan: …wait a second, are you by any chance the Sara Lance that helped get my brother-in-law Freddie Weasley back from the Cretaceous period on Earth-Prime?
Sara: that would be me…so you’re a speedster?
Aidan: temporary speedster, I’m actually a wizard, I got my speed from the speed force of Earth-X so I didn’t die when I got scattered there
Sara: huh…
Oliver: is there something I can help you with Aidan?
Aidan: right…um…okay this is kind of awkward but I need to go to Earth-Prime…more specifically S.T.A.R. Labs…
Barry: …why do you need to go to S.T.A.R. Labs
Aidan: uhhh…Okay, this is going to be hard to explain, but do you know how Caitlin is going out with Leo tonight?
Barry: yeah, she seemed really excited about that
Aidan: well…there’s a tradition in the weasley family where–
Sara: They sent you to scare her, didn't they? To make sure she doesn’t break his heart?
Barry: Wait what?
Aidan: …how did you know that??
Sara: I had an older sister too, she did the same thing with all of my relationships she’d find out about I was having, and I’d do the same thing with her boyfriend…well…most of the time…it’s a long and complicated story, just let him do it Barr so he can make his wife happy
Aidan: well…okay then?
Barry: …you’re not going to actually hurt her are you
Aidan: not at all
Oliver: …right, I knew this was going to happen because of my multiversal all-sight, but one thing that not even I understand is…why are you the one doing it in the first place considering you’re his brother-in-law, instead of one of his siblings or cousins?
Sara: that’s a good question
Aidan: you’re asking the wrong person, because I asked this too, and they said because, since she’s best friends with Barry and Cisco, the only way to be able to threaten her would be to send someone who is also a speedster
Barry slowly: …but I’m faster and more skilled than you?
Aidan: listen Barry, I didn’t come up with the logic, all I know is if I don’t do this Iris won’t be happy with me
Sara: fair enough, the saying as old as time is true, and all three of us can vouch for it, Happy wife happy life
Aidan: Thank you Sara, now Oliver if you could open the breach?
Oliver: right, *opens a blue breach*
Aidan: thanks…well, let’s see how this goes *runs through the breach as it closes behind him*
Sara: …hey Ollie, I don’t suppose there’s any way we could watch that trainwreck go down from here right?
Oliver: …there is…but we may want to wait another minute or two, because Freddie and Iris are about to open a breach here
Sara: …is there a way you could send their breach after Aidan does his attempt
Oliver: …why?
Sara: it’d be funny?
Oliver: Sara, we’re fully grown adults, we don’t need to–
Sara: definitely glad I lifted this off of barry *slams an override card on the table*
Barry: did you take one of my override cards?!?!
Sara bluntly: you know I love you barry, but you had six of them, you weren’t going to miss one
Oliver: SIX?!?!
Barry: you gave everyone another three after last night before you took me and the other universe leaders to the hall of universes remember?
Oliver; *realizes* shit…fine, but hide the card for now, we don’t want them to be suspicious
Sara: *hides it*
*a green breach open up and Iris and Freddie walk through it*
Freddie: Hey Oliver, Hey B– *realizes* –Barry, what’re you doing here?
Sara: you don’t need to worry Freddie, Aidan already told us, and we get it, as long as no one hurts Caitlin, Barry’s cool
Freddie: oh thank god…wait Sara? What’re you doing here
Barry: the three of us were just catching up over drinks…you know we really should get Kara in on this, that is if it’s alright with you Oliver
Oliver: considering it’s Kara? I’ll allow it, but maybe a little later
Sara: and I take it you’re Iris?
Iris: yes, and You’d be the Sara that got my brother out of the Cretaceous Period then, thank you SO much for that by the way
Sara: hey, I was just doing my job, lucky for him though we caught him only a month into his time in the Cretaceous period, Ray had gotten stuck there for six when he got time scattered there
Iris: oh that had to be TERRIBLE
Sara: I’d assume so, when I got scattered I was spent five months in Salem Massachusetts, 1693, imagine how that went as a bisexual woman from the future
Iris: oh…that sounds…
Sara: bad? It was, but tell me, why are you going to earth-prime when you already sent Aidan?
Iris: because, well—
Freddie bluntly: because there’s no way in hell Aidan will be able to scare Caitlin
Sara: *snorts loudly* smart, I’ve knew the guy for maybe five minutes and even I know he’s soft enough where he couldn’t scare a fly
Iris sharply: oi! Careful with how you talk about my husband
Sara: fair enough, I don’t know you guys like that yet, that’s my bad, I’d bark back too if someone said something about my wife
Iris: good, besides you haven’t seen him when he’s pissed off, when he is, he actually can be pretty scary
Sara: Sooo, like Barry and Ray?
Oliver: pretty much, yeah
Sara: got it
Iris: well we should probably go, Oliver?
Oliver: right *opens a blue breach in the bar* there we go, good luck
Iris: thanks Oliver! *Freddie and Iris go through the breach*
Barry: …should we have told any of them that Leo was already on Earth-Prime getting help from Cisco for his date?
Sara: trust me Barry, there’ll be WAY more drama since we didn’t and trust me it will be interesting…so are we getting Kara in on this orrr…
Oliver: *sighs and opens another breach* this breach will open about half an hour before Aidan arrives at star labs, but in National City, in an Alleyway by the CatCo building, go, now, hurry
Sara: I’ll get her! *runs out*
*S.T.A.R. Labs cortex, Central City, 2024*
Dr. Caitlin Snow: good thing it’s been a slow day today…maybe I’ll go with HR for a coffee run
*just then a green breach opens up as Aidan then runs out of it and runs around the room a couple times*
Caitlin: Aidan? Well this is kind of a surprise, what’re you doing here? Is everything alright with your speed?
Aidan: hey Caitlin, yeah, everything’s fine…*kind of awkwardly* but…I was sent here by the weasley family to talk to you about Leo, and to let you know that if you break Leo’s heart we’ll break your face…
Caitlin: oh…well I’m not surprised this talk was coming *sits down*
Aidan: I know that I’m not exactly threatening, but if Iris or anyone else from the family asks, could you tell them I was
Caitlin: *laughs softly* sure, and I got the message but for the record, I have no intention of hurting Leo, and out of curiosity…why would they send you instead of someone else FROM the family?
Aidan: thank You! …they said it had something to do with my speed, but I’m glad you got the message, now I should probably go before–*a breach opens and Iris and Freddie walk through it*
Caitlin somewhat casual: …and I’m guessing that means you’re here for the Break your heart break your face speech
Freddie: Dammit Aidan!
Iris: *just staring at Caitlin intimidatingly silent*
Caitlin casually: *covering up for him* oh, no, he did scare me, truly, go on, say whatever it is you need to say
Freddie: alright then, *darkly* break our brother’s heart and we’ll break every single bone in your body, and nothing anf no one, not even barry will protect you from that
*silence*
Caitlin semicausally knowing this was coming: …is there anything else you’d like to say to me?
Iris slowly slightly confused: …that’s… not the normal reaction…
Caitlin: I’m sorry if I’m not having the reaction you expected, and it’s not that I’m not taking your threat seriously, I am, and I have absolutely no intention of Leo, but…do you want me to be completely honest here?
*they nod*
Caitlin: …okay, because there is a bit to unpack as to why I’m not coming off as scared, first because I knew this was coming, even before Aidan showed up, I didn’t know when, but I knew it was, and I think it’s kind of sweet that you’re doing this for your brother, my sister used to do the same thing for me with the guys I dated after Ronnie
*just then Leo comes sprinting in with HR*
Harrison “HR” Wells (Earth-19): and here we are, the Cortex– we’re too late…
Leo Weasley (Earth-62406): DAMMIT YOU GUYS
Iris: Okay Leo, cool it, it didn’t go worse than Finnigan
Leo dryly: that is a very low bar and you know it
Freddie still confused: don’t worry, shes not even scared, like at all…okay seriously even expecting us how are you not scared??
Caitlin: I was in the process of explaining that when Leo ran in
Iris quickly: okay, continue
Caitlin: well, for one, and please don’t take this the wrong way…but I was expecting a little…more?
Leo, Iris, Freddie, and Aidan in shock: WHAT?!?!
Caitlin: well I’m sorry, but in my defense, I’ve met you and your family, you guys can be terrifying we need be, not that you weren’t scary this time…but I was at least expecting at least someone to whip out their wand
Iris: …okay fair but…even knowing us, expecting that is–
Caitlin: in my defense, the other reason why I didn’t appear to be scared is that I’ve gotten pretty good at hiding it over the years after being threatened and kidnapped on several occasions by, gang bosses, meta-criminals, and speedsters
HR: yeah…danger and Chaos is just another tuesday with team flash
Leo slowly: …I don’t want to over-step here since our first date is tonight but… are you okay?
Caitlin: *smiles slightly* I appreciate the concern Leo, but I’m fine now, I made sure I got therapy
Iris: huh, you’re already better than our grandpa Sirius
Leo: alright…*notices the monitors on the wall flashing and hears the center console beeping* …are those supposed to be doing that?
Caitlin: *notices and immediately goes to check the console* We have an armed Robbery at Jitters, reports say four suspects
HR: Wavelength with Chester visiting grandma runk and won’t be back until later today, but Virtue’s in the area, do we just call her, or should we call Barry back from the multiversal bar
Caitlin: I think Cecile can handle this
HR; *comes up with an idea* OR I think I just had one of my classic great ideas
Leo quietly to Caitlin: is that good or bad…
Caitlin quietly: it could be either or
HR: since you’re here Aidan, how’d you like an opportunity to work on improving your skills and work on your speed?
Aidan: uhhhh…sure? But where is this going and how is it related to the armed robbery?
Iris: …please don’t tell me this is going where I think it’s going
HR: It’s going to a great idea that’s where it’s going, because Aidan, today, you help stop an armed robbery
Freddie: *laughs* you’re joking right?
Iris dryly: he must be, because I don’t think he wants to know what’ll happen if he’s not
Aidan: *blinks for a second* come again?
Caitlin: …HR, I’m not sure if that’s the best Idea considering he’s only had his speed for a little over twenty four hours
HR: how long did Barry wait before going after Clyde Mardon, who was a Meta criminal need I remind you?
Caitlin: …okay, you make a point, but I don’t know…
Leo bluntly: yeah, literally any one of us would be better for this, hell, me and Freddie are Aurors, we do this for a living
HR: yes, but if we send you two or Iris, we risk exposing the multiverse with your magic, especially with how similar Freddie looks to your dad, and with that we risk exposing star labs and by extent Barry’s identity, plus you already have a suit
Aidan: …don’t I get a say in this…because I’m a quidditch player, not an Auror, and I don’t particularly feel like getting shot
HR: of course you do, but I should probably remind you that you can dodge and catch bullets, and most regular criminals wet themselves at the sight of the flash, and considering you’re also a speedster, you’d be fine, plus you have experience fighting in the second battle for the multiverse
Iris dryly: You’re not using him as your fill in speedster
HR: oh c’mon! It’d be a one time thing, again, it’s the best way for him to be able to work on his speed
Caitlin: …would now be a bad time to mention while you all were having this, I already pinged Cecile and I just got a message saying Virtue has it handled?
Iris: thank you! And HR…*darkly* …if you EVER try to make my husband your substitute hero again I will hex you so hard you’ll wish you were dead do you Understand me
Caitlin: *paling slightly*
HR: *extremely Pale* …I’d like to mention the fact I was just trying to help–
Iris: I SAID DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME *whips out her wand and points it at her*
HR: I understand! I understand!
Caitlin: *paling slightly more*
Iris: good *puts her wand away and sees caitlin* Okay, now you see, there’s the reaction we were hoping for earlier!
Leo under his breath: for merlin’s sake
Caitlin: …I’m a little scared to ask this, but earlier you mentioned something about a Finnigan incident? What’s that about? Who’s finnigan?
Leo: …I never should have mentioned that during my best man speech…
Freddie innocently: the reason you don’t mess with any of the weasley cousins
Iris: okay, well before there are any more questions, I guess we should be heading back to our Earth so Leo can get whatever he has planned ready for your date later
Leo: she’s right, I’ll see you then, Caity, I’ll pick you up at your apartment? *gives Caitlin a kiss on the cheek*
Caitlin: can’t wait!
Iris: *opens the breach* alright, let’s go lover-boy
Leo: IRIS
Iris innocently: *snorts* that’s right, the date’s tonight, guess I can’t call you that for at least another two *runs through the breach
Leo: IRIS *runs after her*
Freddie: it was great seeing you both again *goes through the breach*
*a while earlier in the multiversal bar*
Sara: I’m back and guess who I brought!
*a blonde haired woman wearing glasses a sweater and a skirt walks through the breach*
Kara Danvers/Kara Zor-El/Supergirl (Earth-Prime): it’s been a while since I’ve been through one of those…*sees Barry and Oliver* O-oh my god she wasn’t joking, OLIVER! *speed runs and hugs him at full strength*
Oliver: dammit Kara, you know I don’t hug people, also were I not the Spectre I’d be dead right now with the strength you’re using
Kara dryly: I thought you WERE dead after Crisis, you’re getting a hug, and you ARE the spectre so you are getting full strength *hugging him*
Oliver: okay, that’s enough of that! *breaks the hug*
Kara: so you’ve been here, at this…Multiversal bar, the whole time?
Oliver: well, not the WHOLE time, I spent most of the last few years in the Multiversal afterlife, I only created the Multiversal Bar recently, as a place for the Multiversal guardians to cross through if they need to go to other universes
Kara: the Multiversal guardians?
Oliver: long story short, we had another two Crises, both centering around earth-X, the first involving Eobard Thawne, Darth Vader and the Anti-Monitor and the second involving an evil angel named Michael, the Multiversal Guardians is the name of the team Multiversal heroes I put together to stop them
Kara: evil Angel? Darth Vader? Oliver, even for us that sounds crazy
Oliver: before I became the Spectre i would’ve thought that too, but what I’m about to show you might change your mind a little, have a seat
Sara: Finally!
Kara confused: okay? *does so*
Oliver: *grabs a remote and sets the tv to earth-prime*
Kara: uhh, why are we watching the S.T.A.R labs cortex?
Sara: oh you’ll see
Barry: I’m still not sure if we should be watching this
Sara: it’s fine Barry, trust me, it’ll be entertaining
*they see Aidan run out of the breach and run around the cortex a couple times and stop in front of the console*
Kara: Whoa! Who’s that?!
Oliver: that would be Aidan Wood, son of Oliver Wood and Alicia wood nee spinnet from earth-62406
Kara: what? Like from Harry Potter?
Barry, Sara and Oliver: yep
Kara slowly: okay then? Hang on why is this guy threatening Caitlin…
Sara: *snorts* more like failing to threaten Caitlin…
Kara: also did he just say the weasley family, as in Ron, George, Fred, Ginny, Molly–
Oliver: you don’t need to list them all, the answer is yes
Kara: you’re kidding…
Oliver: nope
Kara: …hang on who are those two??
Oliver: Freddie Weasley and Iris Wood, in their universe they’re the grandchildren of Sirius Black and Azalea Black nee Evans, and the children of George Weasley and Holly Weasley nee Evans-Black, and Iris is married to Aidan
Kara: but Sirius Black was never married, the only Evans there is in Harry Potter is Lily and Petunia, there is no Azalea, and George Marries Angelina Johnson
Oliver: not in their universe, Azalea is the twin of Lily Potter nee evans in their universe
Kara: …this is a lot to take in…but what are they doing there?
Sara: threatening to break every bone in her body, kind of lame but it’s better than Aidan’s, although that death stare from Iris…
Kara: okay, why is Caitlin being threatened??
Sara: because she’s going out with Freddie and Iris’ brother tonight
Kara: ohhhh, okay that makes more sense, my sister Alex did this with all of my old boyfriends as well, in fact she still does it with my boyfriend, Dick, he’s absolutely terrified of her
Sara: *snorts* he got the third degree from Alex? I feel bad for him
Barry: I don’t know, I think Iris could give Alex a run for her money
Kara: Your wife Iris? No offense Barry, I love her and all but Alex–
Barry: oh, no I meant this Iris…
Kara: and here comes—is that a wells?? I thought Nash died??
Barry: he did…this is HR…
Kara: didn’t he also die??
Barry: yeah… long story short post crisis he came back to life inside the mind of nash, and after Nash died, HR and all the wells in the multiverse except for Nash got sent to their own universe, and Oliver after the second crisis sent them back to their home universes, except for HR who wanted to come back with us
Kara: wow…again this is a lot to take in…and I’m guessing that is Iris and Freddie’s brother?
Oliver: yep, Leo Weasley
Kara: huh…
Barry: well it looks like I have to go, armed robbery in central city
Oliver: don’t worry barry, Cecile’s got it
Barry: …hang on what is HR doing…
Sara: it looks like he’s asking Aidan sub in for you, to work on his speed and skills
Barry: as much as I have to admit that is the best way to do it, I don’t think he’s ready for that yet
Kara: and it looks like almost everyone else there agrees with you
Barry: and Caitlin called Cecile
Kara: thank Rao for that
Sara: oh boy, Iris does not look happy…
Oliver: I think you’re about to find out how scary Iris can really be
Sara: it can’t be–and I stand corrected, it is that bad…damn girl…oh I like her
Kara: do me a favor and make sure she never gets her hands on Kryptonite or Magic
Barry: She's a witch so…
Kara: Oh no…
Sara: …what’s the finnigan incident??
Oliver: so what happened is when they were in hogwarts, before Aidan and Iris got together, Iris was dating this guy Finnigan, who was honestly a total jackass, dumped her on Valentines day
Kara: That's terrible! Who Does that?!
Sara: sounds like the guy was a jackass who deserved to have his ass kicked
Oliver: that’s exactly what Leo, Aidan, and their cousins, Louis, and James Sirius thought when they kicked his ass
Sara: honestly deserved…hey I don’t suppose there’s anyway we can watch that, can we Ollie?
Oliver: *snaps his fingers as the TV changes to show the start of the Finnigan incident*
*all of a sudden a green breach opens which Aidan, Leo, Freddie, and Iris Walk through*
Iris: Hey Oliver, we’re Bac– *notices* What are you watching?
Oliver: *pauses the clip*
Leo; *sees and realizes* oh god please don’t tell me this is what I think it is
Aidan: I think it is…
Freddie: what is it??
Oliver, Leo and Aidan at the same time: The finnigan incident
Iris: uhhh, why are you all watching the finnigan incident…how do you even know about the finnigan incident?? *looking to Kara* …also who’re you??
Kara: the Name’s Kara Danvers, or Kara Zor-El
Leo: *realizes* you’re supergirl!
Kara: Yep!
Oliver: she’s another friend from my old life, and as for why she’s here, Sara brought her, and as for why we’re watching the finnigan incident
Sara: I asked him to show us after you had mentioned it on earth-prime when you were there trying to scare caitlin
Aidan: Were you spying on us??
Oliver: considering it’s my job to watch the multiverse at all times, Technically I was just doing my job, Barry and Kara got dragged into this and Sara…Sara just likes drama and Chaos
Iris: …I’m not sure why, but I like you Sara…Oliver can we get some popcorn?
Sara: well I definitely like you, especially with how scared HR, it was impressive, and this is coming from a trained assassin, and I definitely agree with getting popcorn
Barry: I’m still kind of against us watching this, but I’m not going to be against having popcorn
Kara: and you know me, I will never be against free snacks
Aidan: oh god Iris, please tell me you’re kidding about us watching this
Freddie: she may be, but I’m not, I want to see Finnigan get his arse handed to him *takes a chair by Kara*
Iris: and I know I like to mess with you guys about it, but even I know that this is going to be entertaining *takes a chair by Barry*
Aidan: …screw it, I did what I did and I stand by it *takes the chair by Iris*
Leo: *groans* Oliver could you open a breach back to my earth so that way I can get back to preparing for my date later
Oliver: of course *about to open a breach*
Iris: not so fast Ollie! *slams down an override card* you’re not opening a breach for him until we finish watching this
Oliver: *snaps his fingers as the card disappears* sorry Leo, but I can’t let that happen now
Leo: DAMMIT
Oliver: you want some popcorn too?
Leo dryly: I could use a drink *reluctantly sits next to freddie*
Oliver: I can do that too *snaps his fingers and everyone has popcorn and Leo has a glass of firewhiskey*
Kara: YES
Oliver: *plays the clip*
Iris: okay here we go…*dryly* and there goes Finnigan flirting with Candice McLaggen, Oliver, how long after the dumping before they got together?
Oliver: …are you sure you want the honest answer here?
Iris: considering that I ended up with a total upgrade after he dumped me and he got a known cheater and this is more just my curiosity speaking, yes
Oliver: negative two weeks
Iris: negative? How could it be neg–*realizes* so not only was he an arsehole, but he was a cheating arsehole…but again, *smirking at Aidan* I got a MASSIVE upgrade
Sara: hang on, Ollie pause it
Oliver: *does so*
Sara: so Finnigan was cheating on you for two weeks with this bitch before he decided to break up with you ON VALENTINE’S DAY, so who did she cheat on
Aidan: *slowly raising his hand* I caught her cheating after she had been begging me to give her a chance for months, when I was planning something for our one month anniversary but, the person I’d eventually go out with next was a MAJOR upgrade
Iris: and I pranked the hell out of her!
Sara: *nodding in approval* well…ookay then, Ollie you can go ahead and press play
Oliver: *does so*
Kara: okay…what the hell did you four do to her, you haven’t even touched her yet and she already looks pale as a bone
Aidan: That was Iris, remember? Besides, we gave her a chance to leave considering we weren’t there for her
Freddie: which as you can see she obviously took!
Sara: okay he’s been disarmed…DAMN Aidan, that back to back timing on that shove to right hook was incredible…I’m starting to see that scary side Iris mentioned you have when you’re pissed off…damn, you’re EXACTLY like barr, your wives even have the same name…
Iris: okay, WHERE did you learn how to do that??
Aidan: from that old muggle movie you showed me, Rocky
Iris: huh…
Aidan, Freddie and Leo all at the same time: ADRIENNNN
*Iris laughing*
Freddie: okay, and switching off of muggle tactics we have Finnigan trying to escape and grab his wand, but not before Louis is hitting him with an impedimenta
Iris: and there’s Jamie’s Bat Bogey Hex, we can thank aunt Ginny for making sure all her kids knew that hex
Leo: aaaaand there’s the knockback jinx into the brick wall of the corridor on Louis
Sara: Damn, I gotta say, as cool as this is, Regular ass kicking is still better than magical ass kicking
Leo: wait for it…
Iris; and a leg locker from Leo, as Louis is revealed to be somewhat okay
Kara: …is that a pimple jinx Louis just used??
Aidan: Yep!
Sara: oh GOD what the hell kind of spell did you just use Aidan??
Aidan innocently: I just reversed his knees
Sara: BUT HE’S DOWN FOR THE COUNT NOW
Leo: and here’s where we threaten not to fuck with Iris again, and if he tells anyone he’d be getting much worse…
Freddie teasingly: damnnnn little lion, I didn’t think you’d have the balls to kick him in the balls
Leo bluntly: This is Iris we’re talking about
Iris: and Aidan going for the final knockout punch…okay now it makes sense why he spent a month in the hospital wing
*the clip ends*
Kara: okay…there was a LOT to unpack there…but then again my older sister Alex did beat up a boyfriend of mine who cheated on me as well so I guess this makes some level of sense
Sara: you guys just straight up jumped the guy…normally I’d be in shock and kind of put off but considering the circumstance, you guys just earned all of my respect
Barry: yeah, and frost did once threaten to stab a guy for Caitlin…
Kara: On a scale of one to ten Oliver, with ten being the most horrifying thing you’ve seen while doing this job, where does this rank?
Oliver: …three and a half
Iris: …alright now Oliver, if you could open the breach for us, Leo has a date to prepare to, Freddie needs to get back to Gwennie, *smirks* and I have a promise to keep with Aidan
Oliver: *opens a breach for them* there you go!
Iris: Thanks Oliver!
*all four leave*
Sara with no tact: …so all four of us agree the two of them are about to bone right?
Barry and Kara: WHOA
Sara: What! I’m not wrong am I?! Oliver, tell me I’m wrong
Oliver: …this is none of your business, can we change the topic…
*much later in the multiversal bar*
Oliver: I can’t believe you three got me to agree to this, this is stupid
Kara: c’mon, me and Barry did it once and it was fun!, well maybe not so much fun for barry with the amount of times I won
Barry: You did not win that many times!
Sara: those sound like fighting words to me, c’mon let’s just settle this in the Arena already
Barry innocently: we could, if Oliver would finally pick his character
Oliver: okay fine! I’ll pick! *using his nintendo switch pro controller picks Link as they’re about to play a round of super smash bros. Ultimate*
Sara: *snorts* of course you’d pick the one character with a bow and arrow in the game
Oliver: just shut up Sara and start the game!
Sara; *presses play*
*all of a sudden a breach opens up and Leo dressed in nice button up shirt and jeans, holding a bouquet of flowers*
Leo: Hey Oliver…are you four playing smash bros??
Oliver: Earth-prime, Central city, Caitlin’s apartment, 7:00, got it
Sara; Wait *pauses the game*
Oliver, Kara, and Barry: SARA
Leo: thank you Sara, because I was going to say, OUTSIDE of Caitlin’s apartment, breaching into her apartment would be kind of rude, and frankly a little creepy
Sara: honestly Oliver, use your common sense, lookin’ sharp by the way Leo
Leo: thanks sara
Kara: awww and you brought her flowers, how sweet!
Barry: And you got her favorite! White Tulips!
Leo: yep! I can thank Cisco for letting me know about that one, now you know the location I want to go with Caitlin right?
Oliver: yeah?
Leo: great, when I show up here with caitlin, just please don’t say where it is
Oliver: got it
Leo: now open the breach to outside of caitlin’s apartment
Oliver: hang on…okay *opens the breach* sorry, just checking to be sure there wasn’t anyone in the hallway outside of her apartment
Leo: thanks Oliver *walks through the breach*
Sara: *presses play* You’re going down Ollie!
Barry: *playing as sonic, knocks yoshi out of the arena*
Kara: NOOOOO
Sara: KARA!!! I will Avenge you! BARRY, You’re going down!
*Outside of Caitlin’s Apartment*
Leo: *walking out of the breach to her apartment door and takes a breath* alright, here we go *knocks on the door*
Caitlin from inside: I’m coming!
*caitlin comes and opens dressed in red sundress*
Leo; *stutters for a second nervous in shock* I-you–uhh–
Caitlin: *giggling at the look on his face*
Leo: *blushes slightly now nervous* sorry…it’s just…you look absolutely beautiful
Caitlin; *blushing slightly while grinning* thank you…and you look very handsome
Leo: *grins back* thanks…*holding up the flowers* …I brought you these, I heard they’re your favorite
Caitlin: *smiling brightly* white tulips! They’re beautiful. How'd you know these were my favorite?!
Leo: I asked Cisco
Caitlin: …is that why you didn’t breach straight into the Cortex Earlier? because Oliver would’ve just breached you straight to where I was, but if it was Cisco, he wouldn’t necessarily know where I was
Leo: yeah, I needed his help with a surprise I have planned for later, you’ll see
Caitlin: So tell me, what’s the plan for tonight? Other than the surprise
Leo: well, it’s kind of all a surprise, so you’ll just have to wait and see
Caitlin: Alright, just let me put these flowers in some water before we go, would you like to come in and wait?
Leo: sure
*they both go into her apartment as she quickly puts the flowers in a vase and fills it with water*
Leo: this is a nice apartment
Caitlin: Thanks, alright, we can go now!
Leo: *uses his extrapolator to open the breach* ladies first
Caitlin: why, thank you *goes through the breach as Leo follows behind her*
*the multiversal bar*
Kara: c’mon Sara!
Barry: You got this Oliver!
Oliver: alright Sara, time for sudden death, you’ll be going down for taking Barry down
Sara: let’s do this Ollie…*playing as Sora shoots a which Oliver playing as link fails to dodge launching him out of the arena* YES, THAT’S A WIN FOR THE GIRLS
Kara: YES SARA
Barry: c’mon Oliver, really!
Sara: Hey, it’s his fault for picking Link when I picked Sora, he’s the best character in the game!
*Caitlin and Leo walk through the breach*
Leo: hey guys, how’s the game going
Sara: Me and Kara just kicked Oliver and Barry’s asses
Barry slowly: but didn’t kara go out first?
Kara: hey, a team victory is still a victory
Sara; that’s right *fist bumps kara* and we can thank Behrad for teaching me these skills
Leo: Well okay then, Oliver, could you open the breach?
Oliver: on it *opens a breach*
Barry: Hope you two have fun!
Caitlin: We will!
Leo: alright, close your eyes and follow me
Caitlin: *closes her eyes as Leo leads them through the breach*
*Earth-62406, by a random pond somewhere in England, around sunset*
*Leo and Caitlin walk out of the breach with Caitlin having her eyes closed*
Leo: Alright, open your eyes!
Caitlin: alright, I’m so excited *opens her eyes* wow…what a beautiful view…
Leo: oh, it’s about to get even better, follow me *takes her to a picnic table he has set up by the pond*
Caitlin: *sees the table with two closed bags and two place sets, and a lantern* you made us a picnic dinner?!
Leo: I did, but that’s for later, first, I remembered you said ice skating was one of your favorite things to do? *picks up two pairs of ice skates and hands one to her*
Caitlin: it is, but…how are we supposed to go ice skating at a non-frozen pond
Leo: It isn't frozen now, but…*pulls out a small metal ball which he throws into the pond causing for the pond to slowly freeze until it is frozen all the way through* …Cisco was able to whip that up for me, that thing I just threw into the pond, just froze it all the way through—
Caitlin: utilizing a microengine similar to that of the cold gun, freezing the water molecules in the lake, making it possible for us to skate whenever we want!
Leo: Well, not necessarily… He said it was a one time use device, but it should last the whole night, so we can skate until we get super hungry then come back and eat
Caitlin: *snorts softly* Well then, let’s enjoy it while we can, and I’m guessing Cisco gave you my skate size too?
Leo: yep!
Caitlin: So how good are you at skating? *as she sits down and she’s putting her skates on*
Leo:*as he’s doing the same* *partially joking*…good enough where I can skate without falling on my face or on my arse
Caitlin: *laughing* well, I may not be some professional figure skater, but there are a few tricks I do know that I could show you
Leo: That sounds great!
Caitlin: Are your skates on?
Leo: yep, let’s do this
*the two of them on skates head onto the frozen pond where they then start to skate together holding each other’s hands*
Leo: *while they’re skating* So tell me, why do you like skating so much?
Caitlin: well, for one, it was something me and my dad used to do when I was little before he “died” only for us to find him twenty something years later having had his mind warped–it’s a long story for another time but he did eventually actually dying for us when his mind was back to normal, but that, and being on the ice, it reminds me of frost…
Leo: frost, as in the the alternate personality with Ice powers, given new life by Oliver
Caitlin: yes, I had my own frost, or killer frost when she first surfaced, but she was also given new life eventually, we never exactly figured out why, but it was something we were grateful for, but then she had died saving the city from a meta known as deathstorm about three years ago, so being on the ice, reminds me of those who I love
Leo: oh…I guess that’s kind of nice, and I get that, you know, pranking is a legacy tradition in my family, my grandparents were the marauders, my parents and my uncle fred were pulled off a prank so great it made it into hogwarts a history, and me and my cousins continued that tradition of being pranksters, but in the old timeline before my sister had fixed things, pranking while it was fun for our family, it was also bittersweet, because it reminded us, or more accurately my mum about my grandparents, and her and my dad about my uncle fred, but we kept pranking anyway, to make them proud
Caitlin: *smiles slightly* that sounds nice
Leo: yeah, I should probably warn you now, if you don’t know how to already, I’m going to have to teach you how to prank if you want to get along with my family
Caitlin innocently: you mean like how I’m going to have to teach you how to skate better?
Leo: hey! I’m doing pretty well!
Caitlin: oh really? *lets go of his hand*
Leo: *just barely managing to stop and turn around before his skate reaches the edge of the frozen pond*
Caitlin: *skating gracefully as she performs a toe loop jump, then a schalow jump, and finally a double axel*
Leo in awe: …I’m the luckiest man in the multiverse…
*caitlin after circling the pond a couple more times and and doing a couple more jumps skates back*
Leo: I thought you said you weren’t a professional figure skater?!
Caitlin: *blushing slightly* I’m flattered Leo, but I’m not THAT good–
Leo: But you ARE, THAT good
Caitlin: anyone with a semi professional level of understanding of physics, trigonometry, or even just someone with enough practice could learn how to do what I just did
Leo: yeah, try years of practice, and I don’t even have a college level of understanding of physics or trigonometry, Hell, I barely have a basic understanding of that! …but if YOU’RE the one offering to teach me how to skate? I’d say hell, it’s worth a try
Caitlin: *snorts softly* well, it’s all a matter of having the right balance, watch me, I’ll show you how to do a relatively easy one, the toe loop jump
*the two spend about twenty minutes working on this trick*
Leo: alright, let’s see if I can get it this time *skates around the frozen pond then skates across but while in the center performs the jump perfectly then skates back to caitlin* I DID IT
Caitlin: *laughing at his excitement but also excited for him* I saw! *the two both share a tight hug on the ice*
Leo: *as they break the hug* I mean it was nowhere as graceful as when you did it, but it was still great!
Caitlin: Oh stop it! When you did it, it was amazing, now I’m starting to get hungry, so what say we head back and you show me what you brought for us
Leo: I like the sound of that
*the two head back to the picnic table where Leo turns up the lantern, then opens the two bags and uses his wand to levitate out two paper plates, forks, and a container full of hot pasta out of one, then two wine glasses and a bottle of wine out of the other then has the wine opened and poured and the pasta served*
Leo: I hope you like pasta and wine!
Caitlin: …is this homemade pasta?!
Leo: yep! Oh! I nearly forgot *levitates out of the bag a small container of garlic bread* what’s a pasta night without a little garlic bread
Caitlin: …oh my god…Leo, you didn’t need to do all this just for me
Leo: but I did Caitlin, because even though we had only met yesterday, the two of us have gotten to know each other very well, well enough where I know that you are amazing, and you deserve it
Caitlin: *blushing slightly* oh Leo…*kisses him deeply*
Leo: *kisses back just as deep*
*after a minute the kiss breaks and the two look deep into each others eyes*
Caitlin and Leo: …Wow…
Leo; that was—
Caitlin: I know, and you were—
Leo jokingly: not as good as you
Caitlin: oh you were…oh god I must sound Crazy
Leo: you? *snorts* if you sound crazy I don’t even want to know how I sound
Caitlin; oh, really? Because I think I’ve fallen in love with a man I just met yesterday—*realizes what she just said and covers her mouth in shock as she’s blushing extremely hard*
Leo in shock: you are?!?!
Caitlin: oh god, I shouldn’t have said that, I’m SO sorry—
Leo: Wait Caitlin! Don’t get upset, I was just in shock…because…because I think I’ve fallen in love with you too…
Caitlin: You have?!?!
Leo: yep, so if you’re crazy for falling in love with someone you just met yesterday, I guess I am too, so if it’s alright with you, maybe the two of us could be crazy together
Caitlin: …where is this going?
Leo: Caitlin Snow, from what I’m hearing, I love you, and you love me, so what I’m trying to ask is…would you want to be my girlfriend?
Caitlin: I— yes!
Leo: *kisses her*
Caitlin: *kisses back*
Leo: *breaking the kiss* now that that’s been settled, let’s eat some of this food before it starts getting cold
Caitlin: *laughs softly* that sounds like a good idea
*after the two sit down and eat their dinner*
Leo: more wine?
Caitlin: I suppose a little more won’t hurt
Leo: *pours her another glass*
Caitlin: Thank you leo…for everything, tonight has been amazing
Leo: And the nights not over yet *looks at his watch* and just in time too, so I know you’re into science more than anything
Caitlin: considering where I work, what I do, and the amount of scientific knowledge I have I feel like that should be fairly obvious
Leo: right, well I’m hoping you’ll enjoy this then, *goes to the other side of the picnic table to sit next to her* you see I picked this spot for more than just the skating pond, while I may not know the MOST about science I do know a bit about the stars thanks to my family’s history, for merlin’s sake, my name is literally Leo, but with that knowledge, and a google search to double check, I was able to find out that tonight, right about now we should be able to seeeee…that *looking up*
Caitlin: *looks up seeing a beautiful meteor shower* Is that…
Leo: Perseids meteor shower
Caitlin: wow…I’ve always wanted to see a meteor shower, I’m guessing Cisco told you that too?
Leo: No actually, he didn’t even know about this part, this one was all me, I guess I just got lucky on that part
Caitlin; *laughs softly as she then kisses him on the cheek and the two continue to enjoy the meteor shower together*
*after the shower is over*
Caitlin: That was beautiful…
Leo: I’m glad you liked it, now, it’s getting late, I should probably take you back to Earth-Prime
Caitlin: yeah, maybe…
Leo: *uses his extrapolator to open a breach as the two walk through it hand in hand*
*the Multiversal bar*
Oliver: I’m not doing this, nope, I draw the line at this one, besides, Leo and Caitlin are coming back soon and I need to open the breach for them
Sara; cmon Ollie! Just open the the breach now then get to singing! *chanting* Oliver, Oliver, Oliver
Kara and Barry joining the chant: OLIVER OLIVER OLIVER
Oliver reluctant: *groans dryly* fine, I’ll do it! *picks up a microphone and opens a blue breach as the song Baby got back by Sir Mix-a-lot starts playing* seriously?? You guys picked this song?!
Sara: *laughing* yep!
Kara: *laughing* too late to back out now Oliver!
Oliver singing: I like big butts and I cannot lie, you other brothers can’t deny, that when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist, and a round thing in your face, you get sprung
*a breach opens up with Leo and Caitlin walking in seeing Oliver singing baby got back and Barry, Kara, and Sara watching an laughing with Sara recording*
Leo: …is Oliver doing karaoke??
Caitlin: …I think so…but it looks like he has our breach ready
Leo: yeah…I think you might need to ask barry if he could get a copy of that recording Sara is making for me
Caitlin: *laughing softly* I will
*the two walk through the breach still hand in hand*
*inside of Caitlin’s apartment, Central City, 2024*
*leo and Caitlin walk through the breach as it closes behind them*
Leo: I had a lot of fun tonight
Caitlin: so did I, thank you so much Leo, tonight was amazing
Leo flirtingly: well it was the least of could do for someone as amazing as you
Caitlin; *smiles while blushing slightly* …you know, if you want…tonight doesn’t have to necessarily be over yet
Leo: *smirking lightly* oh really? *innocently* What did you have in mind?
Caitlin: let me give you a hint *kisses him deeply*
Leo: *kisses back just as deep then breaks it* *innocently* I think I like what it is you have in mind…
Notes:
Next chapter we have "Meet the Tveits" with a new OC introduction, but until then, this has been a Padjake written story, now, Mischief Managed!
Chapter 2: Meet the Tveits (I)
Notes:
Alright, as always credits for all OCs (including the OC you're about to meet, Evelyn Tveit) goes to my friend you can find on Wattpad @wifofenjolras, now there's not much to say so let the chapter begin!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
*Earth-62406, grimmauld place, 2028, sometime in the evening*
Dominique Weasley : So why are we at Grimmauld Place again?
Iris Wood: because, Leo was supposed to come back here two nights ago after his date to let us know how it went, but yesterday he had called us to let us know that he had stayed the night on earth-prime and was staying the day there too so Caitlin could show him around central city, and he was getting back last night
Freddie Weasley: now since today is his day off he promised he’d meet us here to talk about it today
James Sirius Potter: He stayed the night? I’m guessing that means the first date went well
Victoire Lupin: he better hurry, because me and Teddy have to get to Earth-X because tonight’s the night we’re getting to see Moulin Rouge! …which reminds me, Dom, me and you sometime definitely need to plan a trip to see this in new york on broadway with the Tveits before they leave the show
Dominique: definitely, but I’m still pissed off that Lucifer didn’t offer anyone else tickets
Azalea Black: yeah, i'm not exactly happy about that either
Louis Weasley dryly: really, because to me it’s a blessing
Teddy Lupin: and to be fair, Victoire did go through the most musical stuff and literally had a musical related weapon designed for her, so maybe it’s more likely he didn’t realize that a good majority of you like them too
Sirius Black (62406) curious: …why is it Grimmauld is always the default meeting space for weasley cousins when me and lea aren’t even weasleys?
James Sirius: Because you guys have the biggest space and Aunt Hols is one by marriage and you’re her parents so that kind of counts?
Alice “Ali” Longbottom II: It definitely does
Lily Luna Potter: I can’t believe Leo is finally dating again!
Rose Granger-Weasley: And it’s a girl from another universe?
Albus Potter: that’s right
Hugo Weasley: what I still can’t believe is that Lily and Scorpius are engaged!
Scorpius Malfoy: What can I say, we spent a lot of time together during that year we were stranded in the fast and furious universe
Aidan Wood: I’m not sure what’s crazier you were trapped for a year in the universe with the Toretto crew, or the fact that I spent a few hours in the speed force and am now a temporary speedster, which reminds me, Iris, just reminding you that tomorrow, we have to go to earth-X for our meeting with the Speed Force
Iris: yeah, I definitely want to meet the being that turned you into a temporary speedster, because I need to thank them
Aidan: *smirking slightly* same here
Gwen dryly: oh god, I don’t even want to know
*all of a sudden Leo appears from a green breach*
Leo Weasley: Hey guys! *grinning with happiness*
Iris: uhhh, leo? Why did you just come through a breach?
Leo: so, plans changed, after I spent a day on earth-prime and caitlin showed me around central city, she came back with me to drop me off at my place, which led to her staying the night, then after that we decided to do the reverse and have me show her around london, then I just dropped her off back on earth-prime and had Oliver breach me back here
Freddie: so I’m guessing that means the first date DEFINITELY went well considering you just spent another two days together, including two nights
Leo: *with a shit eating grin* it did
Iris: So what happened??
Leo: well, I had talked to Cisco earlier in the day to find out her favorite flowers so I could get them for her, as well to ask him if he could make me a device that could freeze a pond all the way through, and he did, it lasted the whole night
Victoire: …why??
Leo: because I had remembered she had told me that she really liked ice skating, which is why I did that, so the two of us skated together
Freddie dryly: but you’re rubbish at ice skating, you can barely keep yourself from falling onto your face or your arse
Leo casually: well actually thanks to her, I’ve gotten a bit better at it, she even taught me how to do a trick, but after that I revealed the pasta dinner I had made, two of us admitted to being in love with each other, she agreed to be my girlfriend, then we ate our dinner–
Everyone in the room: YOU WHAT?!?!
Gwen slowly: you admitted to being in love with her on the first date after knowing her for ONLY A DAY…and not only did you still manage to get a second date, she agreed to be your girlfriend and actually had sex with you, twice…
Leo innocently: *smirks* …twice according to you
Azalea dryly: me and your grandpa are still in the room
Leo: *realizes and blushes slightly* sorry grandma lea
Iris dryly: *pinching the bridge of her nose* oh bloody hell, LEO
Freddie: oh give him a break Iris, this is the first time he’s even kissed a woman in YEARS let alone circled the bases so to speak
Sirius: …yeah considering the circumstances I think he should get a pass for this one too
Dominique: …proof right here that miracles do exist
Leo: hey!! She said she loved me too, and she can’t wait for the two of us to go out again in a couple days
Teddy dryly: …you really did get lucky didn’t you?
Leo: *smirking* Luckiest man in the multiverse
All of the other men in the room in a relationship: ehhhh…
Leo dryly: oh shut it all of you!
Freddie quietly to Iris: oh we’re SO teasing him as payback once we see how cheesy he is with caitlin right?
Iris quietly: obviously
Victoire: well I’m glad your date went well *all of a sudden she gets a call on her specphone as she then picks up and sees that it’s Lucifer* one second, hey Lucifer
Lucifer: Hello Victoire, so I know I said to meet here at seven, but if you’re able to meet me here now, I have a surprise for you two, I want to quickly introduce you two to the starring actors of the show!
Victoire: that sounds amazing! Me and Ted will be right over!
Lucifer: fantastic, I’ll see you when you get here *hangs up*
Victoire: Teddy, we gotta go
Teddy: right, we’ll see you all later
Victoire: *opens a breach with her extrapolator as her and teddy go through it*
*a while earlier in Central City, Earth-X, 2024, the Old resistance base*
*A woman with light skin and brown hair, stands around the hangar lost*
The Woman: What the hell?? I searched the base entirely and there’s no one here… *realizes* …they wouldn’t…there’s no way Luci would–without letting me know somehow?? *pulls out her phone and calls the contact labeled Nora West-Allen*
Nora West-Allen/XS: *picking up the phone while shushing someone* uhh…Evelyn, is everything alright? Because you’re calling at kind of a bad time…
Evelyn Tveit (X): heyyyy nora! Where are you guys?
Nora: …hey Evelyn…what do you mean where are we, we’re back at the base…? …can we talk later? I’m a little busy at the moment…
Evelyn: …did Lucifer change the damn base on me? Because I’m at base too…oh SHIT you’re kidding
Nora: Wait, did you not get the alert beacon?? Are you in Central city??
Evelyn: YES
Nora: okay, you have a bit to catch up on, but we’re in los angeles now, call bart and he’ll come get you, because like I said, I’m a little busy right now
Evelyn: Sorryyyy *hangs up and calls bart*
Bart: *picks up* yo Evelyn, What’s going on?
Evelyn: bart, I need help I’m still in central city
Bart: *chokes for a second on something he was eating* …you’re what??
Evelyn: Still in central city…and I think Luci might want to know some intel I got
Bart: alright, I’ll come get you, and just so you know we’re in Los Angeles so I’ll be there in about three minutes
Evelyn: i know, nora told me
Bart: Wait a second, you called Nora first? Why didn’t she come get you?
Evelyn: mhmm…there’s a…situation going on…with her and Cal…
Bart: what’re you–*realizes* …OH–OKAY, no need to go on from there, you’re back at the old base I’m guessing?
Evelyn: yep!
Bart: Okay, I’ll leave now and be there as soon as I can
Evelyn: thankssss
*bart then hangs up and is there in about five minutes in his Impulse suit*
Evelyn: thank god for you Bart
Bart: It’s no problem Evelyn, sorry it took so long though, Morgan was talking to me about something when you had called, *somewhat joking* also, considering it’s theater night I had a feeling you would’ve killed me if I had said no, so…
Evelyn brightly: Exactly! Time for a great surprise
Bart: anywhere in the base you want me to run you to specifically?
Evelyn: …do you know where Luci is?
Bart: …not at the moment?
Evelyn: well then mission command will work fine for now, I’ll find him after I drop off the information with Danny
*Bart runs back to the base with Evelyn*
*Los Angeles, the Current Resistance base, 2024, present moment*
Lucifer: Alright, they should be here any moment now…
*Victoire and Teddy come out of a breach that opens up*
Lucifer: Victoire, Teddy, how great to see you both, and under good circumstances for once, now the actors are friends of mine so I already called the man who played christian here, and as for the woman who plays Satine, I was just about to give her a ring
Evelyn from the hall leading into the war room: LUCIFER FUCKING MORNINGSTAR
Victoire: *eyes widening* No. Way.
Lucifer: and there she is now, Evelyyyyn
Evelyn pissed off: *striding into the room with a cigarette looking TERRIFYING*
Lucifer confused: …yes?
Evelyn: WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME THE BASE WAS CHANGING– *sees Victoire and Teddy* –oh, new recruits? *Sticks her hand out* Evelyn Tveit, Charmed
*Victoire just starts stammering in shock*
Lucifer: they’re not recruits Evelyn, they’re friends of mine from across the multiverse, and fellow members of the Multiversal Guardians, I invited them for theater night, you missed quite a bit evelyn
Evelyn: you finally named the team, it’s about damn time, also how much is a bit?
Lucifer: Well, the multiverse was in danger again, the majority of the multiversal guardians got scattered after Reverb had figured out a way to scatter us and depower Oliver, I’ve mentioned Oliver right?
Evelyn: The guy who supposedly watches over the multiverse?
Lucifer: yes, him, so everyone got scattered, but we got everyone back, and with backup, then there was another battle for the multiverse, and Michael got sent to hell
Evelyn: …WHAT?!?!
Lucifer: Yep he’s in hell, I actually went down for a visit with yesterday Mazikeen, and her and her siblings been having quite the time with him
Evelyn: I swear to your brother Lucifer, if you had the party without me–
Lucifer; don’t worry evelyn the resistance party for sending him to hell hasn’t happened yet, considering this was sending my brother to hell I want to be sure everything is just right for this
Evelyn: good…so, who did it?
Lucifer: did what?
Evelyn: Who Sent him to Hell?!
Lucifer; it was honestly a bit of a team effort, but the key player were myself, Morgan, and John, Morgan depowered him, Constantine went to hell himself so he could hold the hell portal open and increase the suction for when I would open the hell portal during the battle
Evelyn: Lucifer, you have no Idea how much I owe all three of you…also, YOU DID ANOTHER MULTIVERSE THING WITHOUT ME, AGAIN?!
Lucifer: Well I don’t bloody pick who gets involved in these things and who doesn’t! But trust me this is not something you want to be involved in
Evelyn: Also why does your friend here look like she’s seen a ghost?
Victoire in shock: You’re Evelyn Tveit…
Evelyn: yes? And you are? Also are you okay? because you look like you’re about to faint
Teddy: this is my wife Victoire, and I’m Teddy Lupin, and to explain…this, in our universe you’re a famous tony winning broadway actress
Evelyn: I AM?!?! …also the Tonys are still a thing in your universe?
Victoire: THEY AREN’T HERE?!
Evelyn dryly: The Nazis aren’t exactly the biggest fans of non propaganda stage acting, with a few exception…so I’m guessing yours isn’t a Nazi Earth
Victoire: according to Oliver that’s a problem that your earth exclusively still has
Evelyn: …still have no idea who he is, and I mean this Lucifer, you have to introduce me to this guy so we can find out why the hell that is…
Lucifer: I’ll see what I can do
Evelyn: So Victoire, tell me what’s your favorite musical?
Victoire: Moulin Rouge!
Evelyn: glad to hear it especially considering that’s putting on tonight, and it’s my favorite musical too!
???: EVELYYYYYN
Evelyn: Oh goddammit Danny
*a man runs in and hugs Evelyn*
Victoire in shock: oh. My. bloody merlin.
Aaron Tveit (X): Evelyn…you’re back! *kisses her passionately*
Evelyn: *kisses back with just as much passion but then breaks it* I was trying to surprise you later before the show started, how did you even know I was here? Because I swear if Danny told you
Aaron: *flashes his watch which has a small red light glowing*
Evelyn: *looks at her matching bracelet with a small navy blue light glowing* …this is both one of the greatest gifts you’ve given me for our anniversary because it let’s me know that you’re okay, but also one of the worst because it means I can’t surprise you when I get back from missions
Aaron: I’m so happy you’re back, I’ve been freaking the hell out since your comm went offline a couple days ago when the base changed
Victoire freaking out: YOU’RE AARON TVEIT!!!
Aaron: Like that–is everything alright with your friends?
Teddy: sorry, it’s just in our universe, you’re a famous broadway actor in my wife’s favorite musical of all time
Aaron: I AM?!?!
Evelyn: He is too? Does he have a tony?
Teddy bluntly: considering how much my wife love your guys’ work and how often I’ve had to hear about it, I can say with certainty that that’s a yes
Aaron quietly to him: I get the obsession having wife thing and I am so sorry
Victoire: *going on an Anti-Nazi rant because they got rid of the Tonys*
Evelyn: Wow that was a lot of French swearing
Victoire: you know French??
Evelyn: French, Portuguese, Italian, and Russian, and I’m currently learning Spanish on Starklingo
Victoire: …so Tony Stark invented Duolingo here? Language learning app?
Evelyn: Duolingo?? So he didn’t invent it in your universe?!
Victoire: he’s a fictional character in my universe
Evelyn: huh, good to know…you know I’m not sure what it is Victoire, but I really like you, we should hang out sometime
Aaron and Teddy at the same time immediately: NO
Evelyn and Victoire at the same time: Why Not?!
Aaron: …no offense Evelyn, or Victoire but how do I put this…
Teddy: …do you remember why every now and then the weasley cousins all get bloody terrified when Ali and Iris hang out
Victoire: because their near identical personalities cause almost an infinite amount of chaos
Teddy: right, and while I don’t think you’ll cause as much chaos as them…the chaos you could make is still terrifying
Evelyn; We’re not THAT similar, just because we both musicals, our favorite musical is moulin rouge!–
Teddy: Oh really? What’s your second favorite musical?
Victoire and Evelyn at the same time: Les mis
Aaron: favorite color?
Victoire and Evelyn at the same time: Red
Teddy and Aaron: Favorite Movie?
Victoire and Evelyn in unison: Oh c’mon! That’s (not fair/bullshit depending on who says it) and you know it!
Aaron: I think we just proved our point, besides Evelyn, we have a show to put on
Evelyn: *comes up with an idea as she quickly pulls out a piece of paper and pen and writes a note behind her back then slips it into victoire’s purse* oh shit! You’re right we should probably get ready for that, Teddy, Victoire, it was nice meeting you, c’mon Aaron, let’s go get ready for the show, *forgetting for a moment there are other people and smirks* then our tradition after
Victoire: your tradition?
Evelyn covering up: it’s just a personal tradition me and Aaron have for the first night I get back from a mission
Morgan Stark (X) with zero tact: *as she’s walking into the room* a tradition that led to me and Jax having to design a bleeding edge soundproof system just for your room, *casually* Hey there Vic, Ted
Evelyn and Aaron: MORGAN!!
Lucifer: which again on behalf of the rest of the base, I thank you for, because while I didn’t personally mind I was getting quite a bit of complaints from the rest of the resistance and now I’m not, so thanks for that
Evelyn teasingly: uh huh, I bet you didn’t mind ya voyeur
Lucifer dryly: I am not a voyeur, and don’t you have a show to prepare for
Evelyn: fuck, you’re right
Victoire: *notices the cigarette in her hand* uhh…I don’t mean to be rude here or anything but you do know that smoking is terrible for you right?
Evelyn: oh, shit I forgot I was still holding this, but don’t worry, it’s only candy *dryly* apparently a bunch of nazis think smoking is attractive
Victoire: …okay then?
Morgan: Which reminds me, Evelyn, catch *tosses her a box of cigarettes*
Evelyn: *catches it and gets excited* wait…is this what I think it is?
Morgan: yep! New flavor of candy cigarette, a got a couple other flavors that still need testing if you’re interested but for now try these strawberry flavored ones
Evelyn: thank you SO much Morgan, but now I really do need to go
*Evelyn and Aaron both rush out*
Lucifer: which means we should start heading to the resistance theater, c’mon, I’ll show you the way
Victoire: *reading the note Evelyn slipped into her purse*
Meet me backstage after the show is over and we can sneak off to hang out
Victoire: *hides her grin as she puts the note away*
*after the show is over backstage*
Evelyn: *leaning against a wall*
Victoire: hey Evelyn! *walking over to her*
Evelyn: Victoire! *gives her a hug* so what’d you think of the show?
Victoire: *hiding her extreme shock because she just got hugged by Evelyn Tveit* I loved it!
Evelyn: now c’mon, we should probably get out of here before before our husbands find us
Victoire: that sounds brilliant! Where should we go?
Evelyn: …want a bite to eat? Because I’ve hardly eaten today, and could also use a drink
Victoire: sure
Evelyn: alright, we’ll take the back stairs to the mess hall, follow me
*the mess hall*
Evelyn: I’ll get us some drinks and…how do some barbeque wings sound?
Victoire great!
Evelyn: great, I know the bartender, I’ll be right back, oh, what do you want to drink
Victoire: I’ll take a glass of fire whiskey
Evelyn: firewhiskey?
Victoire: It’s like vodka or tequila, just a little bit stronger
Evelyn: huh, I’ll have to try it then *walks over to the Bar counter* Heyyy Christian
Christian Chance (X): hey Ev, I heard you were back from your mission, so how’d the show tonight go?
Evelyn: It was great! And, I met a new friend of Luci’s who is now a new friend of mine from another universe
Christian: …I guess that tracks for Lucifer, making as little sense as possible
Evelyn: *snorts* yep, and how’ve the yahoos been since I was last here
Christian: Other than Daniel actually shooting himself in the foot, and Billy Bob getting a dislocated arm, fine, Sam’s somewhere around here with Billy Bob, Daniel, and Steve
Evelyn: So Daniel tried taking the Field spy exam again?
Christian: yep, but unfortunately for him he still can’t shoot for shit so he failed, Steve’s been trying to convince him that there are perks to just working in mission command, but honestly if you ask me, the whole “you have to know how to use a gun to be a field spy” thing is bullshit, you’ve sparred with Daniel before, you know damn well that he can defend himself just fine without a gun
Evelyn: Honestly you make a point, hand to hand skills are incredible, and his skills with the bo staff? Potentially Lethal… I’ll have to talk to Lucifer about getting that changed, but do you think I could get an order of wings, and two glasses of…god what did she say it was again…fire whiskey?
Christian: Okay, so your friend is definitely a witch then, got it *starts pouring the firewhiskey*
Evelyn: What makes you say that?
Christian: the fact that you’ve never ordered firewhiskey before, and the only people who normally order it are people who are wizards, witches, or people who know wizards or witches who tell them about it, every now and then I get a couple of No-Majs like you and me who’ll randomly hear it and try to order it out of curiosity, but most of the time, it’s because a witch or wizard recommended it to them
Evelyn: huh…
Christian: alright, here you go, and I’ll get that order of wings in to Roberto for you and call you back when they’re done
Evelyn: thanks Christian! *walks back to the the table where evelyn’s sitting with their drinks in hand as she then sits down and takes a sip of hers* DAMN…that’s some good liquor
Victoire: *laughs softly* I take it this is your first time trying firewhiskey?
Evelyn: yeah, but thanks for the rec
Victoire: …you know as terrible as this earth is, at least there’s one upside
Evelyn: What's that?
Victoire: here, Muggles can drink magical liquor freely
Evelyn: Muggles?
Victoire: …people without magic, or I think the american term is No-Maj
Evelyn: ohh…but I’ll drink to that *takes another sip of firewhiskey* So Victoire, I gotta know, what’s my doppelganger like? You said I’m a tony winning broadway actress, insane by the way, I’m assuming I’m obviously married to Aaron still
Victoire: yep
Evelyn: Okay, and as we’ve already established this isn’t a Nazi Earth…I have to know…do me and Aaron have kids?
Victoire: …you just announced that you’re having your second child on instagram
Evelyn: wow…and Instagram, my guess is that’s your earth’s equivalent of Starkstagram, if Tony Stark didn’t invent it?
Victoire: *snorts loudly* Starkstagram?!
Evelyn: yeah–
Morgan with no tact: *walking by hand in hand with bart, and with Nora and Cal* Ego is practically encoded in Stark DNA, get used to it
Evelyn: *snorts* Hey Morgan
Morgan: you mind if the four of us join you Evelyn? Victoire?
Evelyn: go right ahead
*they all sit down*
Evelyn: Bart, thanks again for picking me up earlier by the way, Nora, Cal, SO sorry for–
Nora immediately: it’s fine
Bart: and no problem
Evelyn: and Morgan, I cannot thank you enough for depowering Michael so he could be sent to hell
Morgan: I’m pretty sure we all wanted to be rid of him, myself included so no thanks needed…but that doesn’t mean I’ll stop you from thanking me
Evelyn: *snorts* seriously, because you know who I had just came back from having to gather intel on?
Cal: Who?
Evelyn: The second in Command–well now Fuhrer of the Sixth Reich, Brainiac himself
Everyone at the table: WHAT?!
Evelyn: I know, and my next mission was going to be to get intel from michael
Morgan: oh that’s some BULLSHIT
Evelyn: Right?! Honestly I could kill Echo next time I–*sees Echo ordering something at the bar* one second *storms over to Echo* *sharply* Hello. General Echo.
Echo: …Is everything alright Evelyn?
Evelyn dryly: uhh, not really, I just got back today what was one of the most pain in the ass missions assigned having to get intel on FUCKING Brainiac
Echo: You WHAT?!
Evelyn: Yeah! An–*realizes* Was that not your doing? I swear if you tell me Lucifer himself assigned me this–
Echo: What? Of course not, not even Lucifer would be that foolish
Evelyn: okay then who??
Echo: When did you receive this mission?
Evelyn: about two days before I left
Echo: right…I was sick that day and deferred all mission assignments that needed to be done to *realizes as he sees sam* COLONEL STEVENS
*a man in a red shirt and jean jacket with green hair walks over*
Evelyn: oh you’ve got to be fucking kidding me…
Sam Stevens (X) casually: What’s going on General E, Hey Ev
Echo: did you assign Agent Tveit to gather intel on Brainiac?
Sam slowly: I miiiight have? *innocently* But in my defense, she keeps bragging about how she’s one of the best spies without powers, I thought she could handle it
Evelyn dryly: you know how I usually get my information. He’s. A. FUCKING ROBOT.
Sam innocently: he’s an Alien, not a robot, and he may be Techno-organic, but he’s not a Robot
Evelyn dryly: he operates solely on logistics.
Sam innocently: you got the information didn’t you?
Evelyn: Why YOU–
Echo: That’s enough, Agent Tveit…Colonel Stevens…do you take the assignments I give you as some sort of joke?
Sam slowly jokingly: …yes?
Echo darkly: you’re on thin ice right now colonel stevens, you’re lucky that I’m letting you off with a warning this time…but next time you pull a stunt like this Colonel Stevens, I will personally make sure High General Morningstar finds out and your fate in the resistance will reside with him, and trust me despite his mostly lighthearted demeanor, depending on the severity of certain actions, he will act harshly, do you understand Colonel?
Sam sheepishly: *kind of pale* …yes, General Echo
Echo: you may return to your table now, Colonel Stevens
Evelyn and Christian: *trying not to laugh at the look at his face as Echo scared the shit out of him*
Sam: *goes back to the table he was at before*
Echo: *sighs* I need a drink, Christian, could I get a glass of vodka?
Christian: on it General *pours him a glass*
Echo:, that ought to keep him from trying something like that again, Evelyn, I am so sorry about that mix up
Evelyn: it’s fine, it was just a misunderstanding
Christian: you got here just in time too Evelyn, Roberto just finished your wings *slides her a large basket of barbeque wings*
Evelyn: Yessss Thanks Christian! Tell Roberto I said thanks too! *takes the basket of wings back to the table* I got the wings Victoire! *sees Nora and Bart eyeballing the wings* Hey! I don’t give a fuck about your speedster metabolisms, you can get your own damn wings, these are for me and victoire
Bart: Damn, it was worth a try…
Nora: …Cal can you get us wings and some drinks?
Cal: Sure, bart you wanna come with me? We both know he’s not going to give me the rocket fuel drinks without at least one speedster present
Bart: sure
*the two go and get the drinks*
Victoire: I’m sorry can we back up a bit, what do you mean speedster metabolism, also what the bloody hell did he mean by rocket fuel??
Nora: well you see as a side effect of our speed are metabolism speeds are increased tenfold so we have to eat a lot more depending on how much speed we exert, or thanks to Morgan we also have special energy bars for emergency situations, and as for the rocket fuel drinks, our speedster metabolism burns through most alcohol normally, so our Earth’s Cisco before he went MIA and was then brainwashed had invented a substance he referred to as rocket fuel for our earth’s version of my dad before he had died so speedsters can get drunk
Morgan: then I had reverse engineered what was left of the last batch he had made so we could make more for the speedster
Victoire: right…
Nora: although I’m surprised you didn’t know that since this is Aidan’s what third day of being a temporary speedster?
Victoire: it is…I should probably check later to be sure Iris and Aidan know about this…
*as she says that cal and bart come back with four glasses of liquor*
Cal: we have a glass of tequila for me, and a rocket fueled firewhiskey for you Nora
Nora: thanks Cal!
Bart: and a glass of rocket fueled butterbeer for me and a strawberry lemonade for the woman in red and yellow
Morgan: it’s gold and you knew that, but I get what you were trying to do, thanks Bart
Victoire: hang on, Morgan, do you not drink?
Morgan; I mean I will on special occasions, or from time to time, but well…my dad drank quite a bit, and let’s just say if a certain Nazi hadn’t killed him, Alcohol Poisoning might have, and I don't want that to be me so, most of the time, no
Bart: and I’d rather my girlfriend not die of Alcohol poisoning too, so I’m grateful for that too
Evelyn: *chokes on her drink* WHAT?! WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN?!
Bart: When did what happen?
Evelyn: *gesturing to him and Morgan*
Bart: when the last multiversal crisis was going on
Evelyn dryly: of course it was during the multiversal bullshit, I know that it happened but I don’t know when, so how many days since you got together
Morgan: about three days ago
Evelyn: Wait a second… *checks her phone calendar* YES YES YES
Bart: …she is way more excited for this then I thought she’d be
Evelyn: I’m excited because Me, Aaron, and Luci won the pot, well that and you and Morgan finally wised up and figured out you liked each other
Morgan: Hang on…IS THERE A BETTING POOL ON US?!?!
Nora: If there is, it’s not one I’m aware of, Cal?
Cal: no, I don’t know about one either
Evelyn: yeah, that’s because Nora, you’re bart’s sister and one of morgan’s best friends, and Cal you’re Nora’s boyfriend and Bart’s best friend and one of Morgan’s best friends, there’s no way we were telling you guys…hang on who was involved in the multiversal bullshit from our universe?
Cal: Lucifer, but he wasn’t there when it happened, John, Loki, Snart, General Echo, Neville, and our Adelynn
Evelyn: Okay, first I’m sorry did you say Adelynn as in Adelynn Skywalker? Isn’t she Dead on this earth??
Morgan: Nope, currently in the infirmary, but apparently she’s just been brainwashed for the last four to five years, apparently Maul, shortly after she was killed, brought her back to be his successor as a giant “fuck you” to our Obi-Wan who is currently in the silver city
Evelyn: damn…and Hang on, when you say John, do you mean Jon Tveit, or John Constantine, or some other Jon or John
Nora half jokingly: and let’s not forget about J’onn
Evelyn going with it: how could we
Morgan: …isn’t Jon Tveit technically not a part of the resistance?
Evelyn: …Jon’s a complicated situation…but he’s Aaron’s brother, and he grew up in it, so he kind of is in a way, but technically he’s a priest outside of it, even though he still comes to visit a lot since he was born and raised in the resistance and is a supporter
Bart: huh…but Cal meant John Constantine
Evelyn: …That SON of a BITCH
Nora: Do you care to fill us in on why you’re pissed at John?
Evelyn: because Constantine was a part of the betting pool, and I know Lucifer doesn’t know we won because he would’ve said something, and same goes for Aaron
Victoire: and the only person who know about this betting pool who knew about Bart and Morgan getting together on that day is–
Evelyn: John FUCKING Constantine
Morgan: meaning he’s hiding the fact that you three won the bet from everyone in the betting pool…
Nora: hang on, if there was a betting pool about these two how come me and Cal didn’t know about it
Evelyn; c’mon, I said this earlier, you’re his older sister and her best friend, he’s his best friend, I may like gossip but I have a little more class than to spill the fact that someone’s friend has feelings for their brother, and that their brother feels the same way
Nora: …fair enough
Evelyn: but I swear the only thing keeping me from finding and strangling Constantine is the fact that he got me out of my next mission
Morgan: Which was?
Evelyn: …Having to get intel on Michael
Everyone at the table: WHAT?!?!
Evelyn: I know…
Bart: but that aside, no offense Evelyn, but he’s one of the most powerful warlocks of all time, you wouldn’t be able to lay a finger on him
Evelyn: if I snuck up on him I would
Morgan sarcastically: suuuure you would
Evelyn messing with her: *rolls her eyes* you’re a jerk sometimes you know that?
Morgan: ego, sarcasm and Snark, three things that are in the blood of every stark, after all there’s a reason why Stark rhymes with Snark
Evelyn: *rolls her eyes again* alright, so I get that Michael got sent to hell thanks to Lucifer, John, and Morgan depowering him, but how did the rest of the multiversal bullshit go down, I need details
Lucifer: *walking over* I believe I can help with this, also stunning performance tonight as always Evelyn, *sees the wing basket Victoire and Evelyn have* ooh, wings *takes a wing and eats it*
Evelyn semi-sarcastic: thanks Luci
Lucifer: right, I couldn’t tell, was that a sarcastic thank you for stealing one of your wings, or a genuine thank you for the compliment and offering to help fill in the blanks *wiping his hands and mouth on a napkin*
Evelyn innocently: can’t it be both?
Lucifer slowly: right…so who wants to go first?
Victoire: I’ll start since it kind of starts in my universe, so this all started when michael and the core members of the Sixth reich–
Evelyn: core members being Michael, Brainiac, Reverb, formerly Cicada II, Agatha, and Kilg%re right?
Lucifer: and Cobalt Blue, and formerly Severus Snape of Earth-6246, and odds are that order is going to be changing up soon
Evelyn: oh thank god you finally figured out how to send him back to his own Earth and unbrainwashed him
Lucifer: Oliver did, but you’re skipping ahead
Victoire: right, so Michael and the core leaders of the sixth reich had kidnapped the children of a bunch of members of the multiversal guardians, those being my niece and nephews, my cousin Iris and her husband Aidan’s kids, The four children of Adelynn Skywalker-Kenobi and Obi Wan Kenobi from Coruscant-111605, The two children of Anakin Skywalker and Padme Amidala-Skywalker, same universe, and the children of Sirius Malfoy-Black and Aurora Malfoy-Black of Earth-1111605, that and the adult daughter of Scott Lang of Earth-200000, Cassie Lang, but we’ll get back to her later
Evelyn; HANG ON THEY’RE KIDNAPPING CHILDREN NOW?!?!
Lucifer: it was Michael’s Idea to lure everyone to earth-X to one place, so that way he could dampen Oliver’s powers using a device loaded with Anti-Matter that had been collected from the last multiversal crisis, all of the newbies, including Victoire and Teddy, whom you met earlier, were introduced to the original members of the team who they didn’t already know at a place called the Multiversal Bar, myself included, after we returned back to our earth at the location Michael was baiting us out to and unfortunately, we fell right into his trap, he got us all in one place neutralized Oliver’s powers, and all but eight were scattered, those being, Oliver, Iris Wood, Aurora Malfoy-Black, Dick Grayson or Nightwing of Earth-89, John, Morgan, myself, and Wade Wilson or Deadpool of Earth-Infinity
Evelyn: Oh for GOD’S SAKE, of all the people who got saved it HAD to be fucking DEADPOOL?! Wait…why weren’t you eight scattered
Lucifer: Well, Amenadiel had protected us from the scattering, choosing us as his eight paragons, I being the Paragon of light…
Evelyn: on the nose, but understandable
Lucifer: Precisely what I said, anyway Dick was the Paragon of Hope…
Morgan: and I was the paragon of intelligence
Bart: that definitely makes sense
Lucifer: John was the Paragon of truth
Evelyn: *as she was taking a sip of fire whiskey she chokes on it for a second* TRUTH?! That man lies more than the spies do!
Lucifer: yes, amenadiel’s logic was with that being said he knows how find where the truth lies in situations, and in people better than most do
Evelyn: *Thinking about it* …Okay, that’s makes SOME level of sense I suppose
Lucifer: Wade was the Bloody paragon of Chaos
Evelyn: …okay the only thing about that statement is why have a paragon of chaos at all?
Morgan: his logic was because with someone who knows all about chaos, they also know how to get out of it when needed
Evelyn: Okay, I guess that kind of makes sense, fucked up, but still it kind of makes sense
Lucifer: then Aurora was the Paragon of Courage, Iris the Pargaon of Destiny for the Destinites she’s changed, and Oliver was the paragon of leadership, and us paragons, with the help of Jefferson and Professor Stein managed to track down everyone who had just woken up from their coma
Morgan: more accurately, I managed to track down everyone…except for Aidan, Nora, and George-111605, but we’ll get to that later, so I had managed to track down everyone but those three by reprogramming and repurposing our Cisco Ramon’s old Doppel-Detector program to track down everyone, that combined with a temporal locator spell from John to find When everyone was in whatever universes timeline they got sent to, and my experimental interdimensional extrapolators
Victoire brightly: I spent a month in a musical dimension!
Evelyn: That's a thing?!?!
Victoire: yep!
Lucifer: and while collecting the scattered we had also collected some more newbies, including new universe leaders, Dominic Toretto, Brian O’Connor, and Jedi Knight Charlotte Dameron
Evelyn: right…
Lucifer: but we did more than just collect other members on these trips, we also collected components we needed in order to create a device that could be used to depower an angel
Evelyn: …Michael
Morgan: exactly, but he’s skipping ahead, he skipped over how we got Nora, Aidan, and George Weasley of Earth-111605, so we had hit a wall on finding them, so we used the abilities of Cisco Ramon-Prime, who we had picked up when finding a bunch of others including Snart and General Echo
Nora: only them to find out that we were in the speedforce
Evelyn: uhhh, how can non-speedsters go into the speedforce without dying?
Nora: they were able to because the Speedforce decided to make them temporary speedsters
Evelyn: so THAT’S how that happened?
Morgan: yep, after that we used one of our Cisco’s Old journals to figure out what components we needed to build the legendary Fallen angel as well as where most of them were
Evelyn: the fallen angel?
Lucifer: the Fallen Angel, was a weapon originally created by my father, but then after my rebellion, it was destroyed by my father, however our Cisco believed he had figured out what was needed in order for us to make our own version of it
Morgan: so we went out into the multiverse collected what was needed
Lucifer: in which we had met more newbies including universe leaders, Dr. Harry Wells, Detective Harrison Sherloque Wells, Jaime Reyes aka Blue Beetle, and Demigod Percy Jackson, the son of poseidon from Earth-161015
Evelyn: Sherlock? As in Sherlock Holmes? Isn’t that a bit on the nose for a detective?
Lucifer: Right, Sherloque doesn’t like it when people pronounce it Sherlock, it’s french apparently, so it’s Sherloque
Evelyn: Sherloque
Lucifer: precisely, but in while doing this unfortunately we had lost two of the newer members of the team, those being Aidan Wood having been sent to hell by Agatha, and star Pilot Poe Dameron from universe-364 who had been killed by Cobalt Blue
Evelyn: oh shit…
Lucifer: but luckily for them, Constantine was able to go down to hell and get Aidan back, and there was a prophecy that someone would die and get resurrected, so that was a long process involving a lazarus pit, but moving on, we went back,
Morgan: and while they were dealing with reviving poe, me and team tech were working on how to build the fallen angel, until we realized we were able to integrate the components into a pre-existing weapon, and use that as our makeshift fallen angel, that being in this case, my latest Iron Maiden armor, allowing for us to create my new Angel Slayer protocol for the new suit
Evelyn: cool…wait so does that mean you can KILL angels now?!?!
Morgan: in theory, yes, but what was more impressive, is that with the suit I could make an Angel Mortal, which is what I did in the battle for the multiverse
Lucifer: but she skipped ahead, while the missions to get the components were going on, we sent Scott Lang, and Hope van Dyne to rescue Cassie lang because she just so happened to have her stature suit on her, as well as information about their plan to try to take over the multiverse, and before Oliver, Charlotte, myself and a few others took a trip to another earth to use a lazarus pit and bring back poe, but after that we came back and sent the extraction team to go save the kids, as well as the distraction team needed to make sure the extraction team could even make it over to save the kids without getting captured themselves
Evelyn: So what was your distraction?
Lucifer: well, me and the marauders of Earth-111605, we put on a concert
Evelyn: damn, that probably would’ve been fun to see
Victoire: according to my sister and my cousin it was
Lucifer; but moving along, after the concert, and Michael had shown up with his armies thanks to Reverb, Cisco-Prime, breached the whole team to there as well, including Charlotte’s giant freighter ship
Evelyn: …we had a boat??
Lucifer: Starship
Evelyn: we haven’t had one of those in an even longer time…
Lucifer: I know, and we don’t technically still don’t it got sent back to her universe with her
Evelyn; damn
Lucifer: I know, I’ll have to see if she’ll let us borrow it, but it’s not likely
Evelyn: damn
Lucifer: but moving on, he also breached a cargo plane full of cars with a bunch of people with wands, blasters, and powers which we used to take on speeders and a tank in the second battle for the multiverse, meanwhile John was in hell getting aidan back and getting ready to hold the portal open in hell and increase the suction when I opened it in the battle because it apparently takes a lot of power to send even a fallen angel to hell
Morgan: and me and a bunch of others stayed back at the base to finish integrating the components, and while the battle was going on somehow the Nazis had found the location of the Central City Base and sent their secret weapon; the Nazi Waverider, piloted by Cobalt Blue and Kilg%re
Evelyn: the waverider…wasn’t that the time ship that John and Snart used to live on with that team of superheroes, the legends of tomorrow?
Bart: Yep!
Lucifer: So I had sent Charlotte and the falcon after him and she said that he kind of just disappeared in a sort of orange-ish energy explosion?
Morgan: so I activated the Gallifreyan Gambit, the program I had upgraded that my dad created to transport everyone in the base to the equivalent of the room they’re in the new base, but those of us here lucked out because we had just finished the suit modifications, so before I left we took out what Nazis did manage to breach their way into the hangar, then I flew to the battlefield testing out my upgraded speedster protocol
Evelyn: I’m sorry your what now??
Morgan: my speedster protocol, allows my suit to act at speeds relatively close to that of a speedster as well as have some other speedster abilities thanks to the absorbed tachyons from barry, bart, and nora, and the lightning of the three
Evelyn: I only understood about half of that but go on
Morgan: so I got there, I depowered Michael, Lucifer and John sent his ass to hell, we all went to the multiversal guardian after party at the multiversal bar–
Evelyn: You WHAT?!
Lucifer: oh calm down Evelyn, there’s going to be another one here on Earth-X, after all we did just take down the former head of the Sixth Reich, as well my brother, I’m going to need time to make sure everything is perfect for this
Evelyn: okay, good
Lucifer: but that’s the whole story
Evelyn: wow that was a lot
Nora: we told you
Bart: *snaps his fingers* you know what would’ve been easier, we could’ve had John use some kind of spell to show him our memories
Cal: that probably would’ve been easier
Morgan: but either way, now you’re all caught up
Evelyn: Damn, does Aaron know the whole story yet?
Lucifer: not yet, he’s on my list of people I have to explain all of this to
Evelyn: well I’ll do you a favor and explain it to him tomorrow
Lucifer: right thanks for that
Evelyn; now that that’s covered, Victoire, tell me more about my doppelganger
Victoire: well, let’s see, you’ve done moulin rouge, you’ve done a couple other shows, you did this show I really liked Schmigadoon, and a couple years ago you were voice acting for this one show my cousins and siblings have been trying to get me to watch called Hazbin Hotel
Evelyn: ...okay me and aaron did do schmigadoon here too…*somewhat nervous* ...what about my parents, and My aunt…are they still…alive? And Aaron’s parents, what about them?
Victoire: from what I know they are?
Evelyn; that sounds like another great thing about that universe…
Lucifer: on that note, Evelyn, I know for a fact that I gave you three therapy punch cards after their execution, and I know you haven’t come in for even one therapy session, we really have to get the first one scheduled
Evelyn: mmmm… do we though?
Lucifer: yes we do, I have an opening in a week, how does that sound?
Evelyn dryly: I don’t need Therapy Luci, I’m fine
Lucifer: If I had a penny for everytime I’ve heard that from a stubborn patient who needed therapy I’d be the richest man in the world
Evelyn dryly: you can’t make me do therapy
Lucifer: I can and I will
Evelyn dryly: oh really? How?
Lucifer bluntly: If you don’t do your therapy I’ll ban you from resistance theatre
Evelyn: *paling slightly* Y-you wouldn’t.
Lucifer: yes, well, while you may be one of our best spies without powers, and one of of our best actresses, I care far more about your mental health than I do either of those things, so if you don’t do it you’ll be banned from theater until you do
Evelyn reluctantly: …you said one week from now?
Lucifer: yes, does that work for you?
Evelyn reluctantly: …fine…
Lucifer: glad to hear it, I’ll be in touch with the specifics as far as scheduling a time goes
Evelyn: Hey Luci, since I’m doing this therapy thing, would it be possible for me and Aaron to take a couple of days off and take a mini vacation to victoire’s universe?
Lucifer: uhh, I don’t—
*as he says that Teddy and Aaron walk in*
Aaron: oh goddammit we were too late
Teddy under his breath: shit *outloud* well looks like they’re friends now, so I guess we may as well become friends
Aaron: I think we already did when we were searching for our wives
Teddy: fair enough
Evelyn: *sees them flags them down* Hey Boys!
*Teddy and Aaron walk over*
Aaron: Hey Evelyn
Teddy: Hey Victoire
Victoire: Hey Teddy
Lucifer; well now I should probably be going–
Evelyn: hang on Luci, I just had an idea, Victiore, you love music right
Victoire: obviously
Evelyn: right, and I’m guessing you like singing
Victoire: who doesn’t
Evelyn: …you wanna do some Karaoke?
Victoire: oh HELL yes
Evelyn: Aaron, Teddy, you want to join us
Aaron: Obviously!
Teddy: I’m guessing I don’t have a choice?
Victoire: nope!
Teddy: well I guess I’m in too
Lucifer: that sounds splendid, mind if I join
Victoire: sure!
Nora and Bart: Mind if we join you too
Evelyn: the more the merrier
Cal: I guess that means I’m coming too
Morgan: okay, I’ll come, but I’m just going to watch
Bart under his breath: oh we’ll see about that
Evelyn: great, I’ll go talk to christian see if I can talk him into coming with us so we’ll have booze *leaves to the bar* Hey Christian, how much longer do you have on your shift?
Christian: me and Roberto were actually just about to close up for the night, is there something you want before we do?
Evelyn: Yeah, since you’re closing up, I was hoping I could get you to join Me, Aaron, Victoire, her husband Teddy, Luci, the speedster siblings, Morgan, and Cal for Karaoke, and that maybe you’d bring booze?
Christian: Sure, why not, mind if I bring the yahoos?
Evelyn: if you’re bringing Liquor? Go right ahead, and if it’s not too much trouble for him if you could get roberto to whip up a couple more baskets of wings, that’d be great
Christian: thanks, I’ll grab them, but first I’ll put that order with Roberto, don’t worry he won’t mind, and Me and the Yahoos will meet you there with liquor and wings
Evelyn: thanks Christian! *goes back to the table* He said he’ll meet us there with Liquor and wings
Lucifer: sounds wonderful, c’mon, off we go then to the Karaoke hall
*they leave and take the elevator up a couple of floors to a hallway with a bunch of doors*
Lucifer: here we have the resistance karaoke hall, each door is a different karaoke room capable of fitting about say…fifteen people comfortably
Victoire: nice! *they pick a room and see that is has a nice karaoke stage hooked up to four microphones and a computer next to a long couch, as well as five guitars on the wall(two electric, one acoustic, one classical, and one twelve string) and a piano by the stage* Bloody Hell this is a nice set up
Lucifer: thank you, I try to make sure that we can fill whatever wants or needs are had by members of the resistance that I can so that way until we can permanently take down the Nazis the Base can feel like home, as well as somewhere kind of fun
Evelyn: and it has, but for now let’s forget about the Nazi Crap and get started, Victoire, you and Teddy are the guests, you guys wanna go first?
Victoire: YES
Teddy: oh merlin, here we go
Victoire: yep, we’re doing our song Teddy, you get the mics and I’ll put it into the computer
Teddy: …do we have to?
Victoire: honestly Teddy, you really have to get over this thing about singing in front of people, you’re a bloody brilliant singer, and you should really just own it
Teddy: *sighs* I’m not getting out of this am I?
Victoire: Nope!
Teddy: alright… *goes to the stage and turns on to mics*
Victoire: *pulls up a song into the computer then goes to the stage*
Aaron quietly to Evelyn: I’m surprised you let them go first
Evelyn quietly: I was curious to see how good singers they are
Aaron quietly: …okay that makes more sense
* Ain’t no mountain high enough by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Tarrell starts playing*
Lucifer under his breath: oh this ought to be good…
Teddy: Listen BABYYY, Ain’t no mountain high, Ain’t no valley low, Ain’t no river Wide enough BABYYY…
Aaron quietly: okay he’s pretty good
Evelyn quietly: agreed, now time to see Victoire’s singing voice…
Victoire: If you need me, call me, no matter where you are, no matter how far…
Evelyn quietly: damn, her voice is good too…
Teddy: ‘Cause baby there…
Teddy and Victoire in unison: Ain’t no baby there High enough, Ain’t no Valley low enough. AIN’T NO RIVER WIDE ENOUGH, TO KEEP ME FROM GETTING TO YOU, BABE
Aaron quietly: and their harmonizing is almost as good as ours…
Evelyn quietly: I know…are these two just us if we weren’t famous and were british wizards
Aaron quietly: and if you had less of a swearing issue
Evelyn quietly: …I’m not sure if I should take that point as an insult or not
Aaron quietly: I never said I had a problem with your swearing issue *smirking innocently* it definitely makes for some great talk in the bedroom before our funtime
Evelyn quietly: …nice save…
Aaron quietly innocently; I tried
*after the song ends*
Evelyn: *applauding them* Nice job guys!
Teddy: You think so?
Aaron: yeah, you guys have great singing voices, both of you
Victoire: …Teddy, If i’m dreaming do me a favor and never wake me up, because I’m pretty sure I just Aaron freaking Tveit just say he liked my singing voice…also if he did say he liked our singing voices, you’re no longer allowed to use the fact you think you have a bad singing voice as an excuse to get out of singing
Teddy: you’re not dreaming Vic, and he did say that
Aaron: *remembers* …Celebrity in your universe, right, but I mean it, you do really have great voices
Christian; *walking in with sam and three other guys, holding two bottles of liquor and the other guys each holding a large tray of wings and some liquor glasses * I brought Booze and the Yahoos!
Aaron: Hey guys!
Billy Bob Brown dryly: that’s how you’re introducing us?
Teddy: And you are?
Billy Bob: Lieutenant Billy Brown
Sam innocently: but that’s not alllll
Billy Bob: *sighs dryly* Billy BOB Brown
Victoire: *snorts* Billy Bob Brown?! Is that your actual name??
Billy Bob: yes, I know, it’s the most country name you can think of, I don’t want to hear it
Sam: I guess I’ll go, The Name’s Colonel Sam Stevens, that’s right, Sam I am
Victoire: …you’re really leaning into the whole doctor seuss, Sam-I-Am thing aren’t you? you even have green hair
Sam: Yep!
Christian: and as for me, I’m Christian Chance, I run the evening, night, and sometimes afternoon Bar over in the mess hall with a friend of mine, Roberto Da Costa, I run drinks, he makes the food
Daniel Perez: I’m agent agent Daniel Perez, Mission control
Steve Thompson: And I’m agent Steve Thompson, I also work Mission Control with Danny Boy here
Daniel: *rolls his eyes* shut the hell up would you steve
Evelyn: put the stuff on the table would you? Then everybody can take a seat and we can get back to karaoke, because me and Aaron are next up
Sam teasingly sarcastic: oh great, we made it just in time for the lovebirds
Evelyn: *flipping him off as she struts over to the karaoke stage not looking back* Aaron, put the song in
Aaron: You got it Evelyn! *puts in their song choice as he then hurries to the stage*
Evelyn: you ready Aaron? *hands her his mic*
Aaron: *takes his mic* Always am Ev!
* Enjoy the Ride part one by Aaron Tveit and Cecily Strong starts playing*
Lucifer dryly under his breath: oh bloody hell not this song again
Evelyn singing: When it comes to love and romance, I never left a thing a chance, stiffer than a froggy in for-mal-de-hyde, now it’s time to en-joy the ride
Aaron singing: What about the plans you made?
Evelyn: Plans are for sissies
Aaron: I heard you’ve never strayed
Evelyn: Just give me some kissies, Always used to let my conscious be my guide
Aaron and Evelyn in unison: Now it’s time to enjoy the ride
Evelyn: … Eff-ort-less, Eff-ort-less, this is so effing effortless, ready to taste the things I’ve never tast-ed, Wow! Your paints are really High waisted
Aaron: What about being good
Evelyn: I wanna be bad now
Aaron: Doing the things you should
Evelyn; What are you my dad now? Briiiing on all the pleasure I have been de-nied
Aaron and Evelyn: now it’s time to enjoy the ride
*the two break into a tap dance break as end of the song plays*
Sam dryly: of course it HAD to be that song, you do realize this is just you two flirting with each other right?
Evelyn innocently: that’s why it’s so fun
Lucifer: Alright, I’ll go next, off the stage you two
Evelyn teasing: Boooo!
Lucifer: alright, alright, calm down evelyn, but first I’m going to grab a drink let’s see what do we have here, firewhiskey, or Tequila…well I’ve always been more of a whiskey devil myself, Christian would you mind pouring me a glass?
Christian: no offense High General Morningstar, but I’m off the clock right now, so the Alcohol is self serve, oh and I nearly forgot *pulls out two vials of a certain Blue liquid and places them on the table* Rocket Fuel for the speedsters
Lucifer: fair enough *pours a glass of firewhiskey then pours in something from a small flask he has as he starts walking to the stage*
Victoire: hang on, you didn’t put anything into the computer?
Lucifer: I didn’t need to *cracks his knuckles as he sits down on the piano bench next to the piano on the karaoke stage, takes downs the firewhiskey, and starts playing Piano Man by Billy Joel* It's nine o'clock on a Saturday, The regular crowd shuffles in, There's an old man sittin' next to me, Makin' love to his tonic and gin, He says, "Son, can you play me a memory? I'm not really sure how it goes, But it's sad, and it's sweet, and I knew it complete, When I wore a younger man's clothes…La, la-la, di-dee-da, La-la, di-dee-da, da-dum… Now Christian at the bar is a friend of mine, He gets me my drinks for free ,And he's quick with a joke, or to light up your smoke, But there's someplace that he'd rather be, He says, "Luci, I believe this is killing me" As the smile ran away from his face, "Well, I'm sure that I could be a movie star, If I could get out of this place"*he keeps playing*
Christian: *blushing slightly* uhhh…did he just–
Aaron: …christian, did you actually have a conversation similar to that with Lucifer?
Christian: I was a little tipsy once, yeah, but that was months ago…why the hell would he–*realizes what he poured into his firewhiskey* He poured asgardian ale into his firewhiskey. That’s why it turned slightly brighter gold
Victoire: Asgardian what?
Christian: Asgardian Ale, strongest known liquor in the multiverse, strong enough to even get Lucifer drunk, the amount he used was just enough for him to get tipsy, not full drunk, just a little tipsy, tipsy lucifer although not too different from regular lucifer tends to spill certain secrets which is kind of how I put it together
Evelyn: …what day is today?
Sam: …August 15th I think, why?
Evelyn: …and the song…oh crud…okay, I know what’s going on, I’ll explain later, for now I think it’d be best if we all just kept doing karaoke night, and handle this in the morning when he’s sober
Teddy: Is everything Okay?
Evelyn: Morgan, did He go to the silver city today?
Morgan: not to my knowledge, but Amenadiel was here earlier, apologizing to him because there was some sort of archangel dispute going on because Lucifer sent Michael to hell and some of the Archangels there sympathized for him, and for the time being he can’t go to heaven until things are settled, and Snart was around and saying sorry about that trying to comfort him about that, as well as Alex. But what does that have to do with this?
Evelyn: shit shit shit
Billy Bob: okay, what the hell is going on, you’re one of the closest ones to him at the resistance Evelyn, only you know what’s going on right now, so spill
Evelyn: fine, but you all need to promise me you won’t say anything, and you’ll let us handle this tomorrow, because Sober Luci in certain situations isn’t always the best at healthily processing his emotions, according to Aaron and Luis, he’s good at helping others deal with their emotions, it’s the reason why he’s the resistance therapist, but I know for a fact he’s not always so great with his own, it’s why HE was in therapy, and god forbid we try to get tipsy luci to try to process them
Sam: Fine, just tell us
Evelyn quiet enough where Lucifer doesn’t hear: …today is his daughter’s birthday
Bart slowly quietly: His daughter as in Aurora Morningstar…The one who Michael killed?
Evelyn quietly sarcastic: No, Bart, I mean the one who’s perfectly fine and asleep in one of the resistance quarters, OF COURSE I MEAN THE ONE MICHAEL KILLED, BART
Morgan: …and you’re sure we should wait until tomorrow to address this?
Evelyn: I’m positive, we do NOT want to try and have drunk Luci deal with this shit
Christian: …okay, oddly enough that makes a decent amount of sense
Cal: Good call
Nora: So we're agreed, we continue with Karaoke night, act like normal, and Evelyn deals with this in the morning?
Bart: that works for me
Evelyn: great
Morgan: …although, I gotta say he can still play pretty good piano when tipsy, and sing
Christian: yeah, it takes him getting full blown drunk for him to actually sound BAD
Lucifer: … Sing us a song, you're the piano man, Sing us a song tonight, Well, we're all in the mood for a melody, And you've got us feelin' alright… *the song finishes*
*applauding from everyone on watching him*
Lucifer: yes, thank you, thank you. That song is always a classic, who wants to go next?
Evelyn: …you know I don’t think I’ve ever heard Morgan sing…
Morgan: That’s because I can’t–
Bart, Nora, and Cal: Bullshit!
Morgan dryly: snitches
Nora: sorry M, but you are an Amazing singer and it’s about damn time other people know
Evelyn: oh, I have to hear this now
Morgan: …okay, as much as I wouldn’t want to do this, I will pull rank to get out of this
Evelyn dryly: What rank?! You’re just an agent like the rest of us, barring sam and billy bob, yeah you’re the head of the Resistance R&D but you’re still an Agent
Morgan; Actually I’m a General now
Evelyn: …wait, actually?
Lucifer: she’s right, she is, but reminder morgan, I can still pull rank on you as the High General
Morgan: damn…
Evelyn: WHEN THE FUCK DID THIS HAPPEN
Morgan; during the last multiversal crisis
Evelyn; of course is happened during the Multiversal bullshit, Luci I swear to God if you don’t include me in the next one
Lucifer: Again, I don’t decide who gets involved and who doesn’t in this multiversal bullshit! If it were up to me it wouldn’t even bloody happen!
Evelyn: fine, but there is something multiverse related you do have the power to make happen
Lucifer: And what is that?
Evelyn: …maybe, Guarantee me and Aaron a few days off so we can go visit victoire’s universe since theirs seems so much better than ours?
Lucifer: …as much as I would love to do that, and while I can give you the days off, I don’t think I can permit you to go to her universe…
Aaron: …why not?
Lucifer: right, so I don’t say this often being the devil, former ruler of hell, technical archangel, and high general of the resistance, but that unfortunately is above my paygrade per say
Evelyn: Above YOUR paygrade?? The only being above your paygrade would be your brother amenadiel, you know, GOD. what? Do we have to talk to him??
Lucifer: that’s not necessarily true, there is a being even more powerful than my brother,
Evelyn: …the Original God?
Lucifer: well…actually I don’t know me and Amenadiel’s father is stronger than Amenadiel now that he’s God, but I didn’t mean him, besides my father, he went and fucked off to some other universe, God knows where decades ago, well one other than original God knows, and he’s the one being that’s even more powerful than him, Oliver Queen, or the Spectre, If I tried to send you to Earth-62406 we’d have to go through the multiversal Bar and get him to open the breach there and he likely wouldn’t do that, and as for the extrapolators Morgan built, he’d bloody kill morgan and myself if we undermined him and let you do that, especially after he told us to keep them under lock and key to prevent them from falling into the wrong hands
Evelyn: Oh please like he could kill you
Lucifer: *silently pours more firewhiskey into his glass*
Evelyn: Oh that is such Bullshit Luci, and another reason you really need to introduce me to this guy, so I can talk to him about this
Lucifer: *sighs* I’ll see about getting you a meeting, but only on the condition it’s after your therapy session
Evelyn: …deal…
Lucifer: care to shake on it? *sticks out his hand*
Evelyn: …alright, at least this’ll guarantee that you’ll keep up your end of the deal *shakes his hand* now enough, business, Karaoke Time! Morgan. Go.
Morgan: Why Me?!
Lucifer; because the only ones who’ve heard you sing are the ones from the future and frankly we’re all anxious to hear if the stories they say are true, about you being one of the best
Bart: …if it helps we can do our song?
Morgan semi-reluctant: …damn…you’re lucky it’s my favorite song, alright, Christian, I know you’re off the clock, but could you–
Christian: I got you morgan *slides her a small tequila sunrise with an orange and a cherry*
Morgan: thanks *takes the drink*
Lucifer: …you made her a bloody tequila sunrise when you wouldn’t even pour me a bloody firewhiskey?! And Where did you even get an orange slice and a cherry?! And the Orange Juice and Grenadine syrup?!
Christian; well as for the orange juice, syrup, and Ice, we can thank Morgan for making me this cool Bartender gun *flashes a sort of small gun with a touchscreen on the back* and as for the cherry and orange slice, as a bartender I always carry drink garnishes *shows a couple of plastic bags inside of his jean jacket with drink garnishes* oh and as for why I made her a drink, and wouldn’t pour you one, that’s because I can tell she’s kind of nervous
Teddy: Well damn…
Lucifer: right, fair enough *pours himself a glass firewhiskey*
Victoire: Oi! Save some for the rest of us!
Lucifer: oh relax Victoire, it’s a large bottle
Morgan: thanks, Christian…hey Lucifer, I know you’re good at most instruments, and know pretty much all songs in existence, and I’ve heard you play, and since there’s an electric guitar here…
Lucifer: alright, I can already see where this is going, and I’d love to do it, what’s the song Morgan?
Morgan: *whispers a song to him*
Lucifer: …huh, definitely an unexpected karaoke song, it’s definitely something your father would do though, alright I’ll do *takes one of the electric guitars off the wall*
Morgan: well you know what they say, like father like daughter *taps her glasses* Friday, Link to Karaoke room…*looks at a number on the wall* …7
*A hologram of Friday appears*
Friday: whaddya need morg?
Morgan: just a chair for Lucifer on stage, that and if you can filter our song so it’ll play without guitar and vocals for anything me, bart, and Lucifer can’t cover, oh, small table for our drink
Friday: I’m on it
Lucifer: I beg your pardon what I can’t Cover??
Morgan dryly: it’s a band song, You’re good Lucifer, but not even you can play three instruments at once *grabs her drink as nanobots start forming out of thin air into a chair and a small table on stage*
Victoire; hang on, I thought those things were only in the training room?!
Morgan: oh, no, I have nanobots them in every room here, I just need to activate them, let’s do this guys
Bart: *runs the three of them to the stage as he and Morgan are suddenly holding their microphones and Lucifer’s drink is also on the table*
Lucifer dryly: a little warning before you do that would be nice bart *turns on his electric guitar*
Bart: My bad Lucifer, so Morgan, Do you want the first half or should I take it?
Morgan: you can go first *takes off her glasses*
Bart: Alright, let’s do this, Friday, if you would?
* Sheer Heart Attack by Queen starts playing*
*Lucifer joins in playing along*
Bart: Well you're just seventeen, all you wanna do is disappear, You know what I mean there's a lot of space between your ears…The way that you touch don't feel nu nu nothin', Hey hey hey hey, it was the D.N.A., Hey hey hey hey, that made me this way, Do you know, do you know, do you know, just how I feel? Do you know, do you know, do you know, just how I feel? …SHEEEEEEER Heart Attack! SHEEEEEEER Heart Attack! REEEEEAAAAAALLL Cardiac….
Evelyn quietly to Aaron: how long do you think before Morgan starts singing, because Bart’s a good singer, but I really want to see how she does
Aaron quietly: I don’t know, and I know, I want to see her sing too, although I’m a little surprised they picked THIS song for karaoke night…
Evelyn quietly: I meannn…Have you heard Morgan and Bart’s music tastes?
Aaron quietly: okay, fair enough, but still it’s not really a karaoke song though is it?
Evelyn quietly: I mean any song can be a karaoke song…Oh! I think she’s about to sing
Aaron quietly: fair enough
Morgan: Gotta feelin', gotta feelin', gotta feelin', like a paralyse, It ain't no, it ain't no, it ain't no, it ain't no surprise, Turn on the T.V. let it drip right down in your eyes, Hey hey hey hey, it was the D.N.A., Hey hey hey hey hey, that made me this way, Do you know, do you know, do you know, just how I feel? Do you know, do you know, do you know, just how I feel?
*lucifer does the guitar solo*
Evelyn quietly: *eyes widening* …did anyone here know she could sing?!?!
Teddy and Victoire quietly: No?!?!
Christian quietly: I did!
Aaron, Evelyn, and the Yahoos (Barring christian) quietly: You Did?!?!
Christian quietly: hey, everyone tends to get a little drunk every now and then and spill something to the bartender every now and then, one night she sang, that’s how I know
Evelyn quietly: …I think she might be the best singer in the base…
Aaron quietly: …would you be mad if I agreed?
Evelyn quietly: In this case, how could I be, this is one of the times the stark ego is deserved…also, don’t tell him I said this but DAMN, Lucifer can shred…
Bart and Morgan in Unison: I feel so inar, inar, inar, inar, inar, inar, inar, inarticulate, Just how I FEEEEEEEEEL, Do you know, do you know, do you know. Do you know, just how I feeeeeeeel? Do you know, do you know, do you know, just how I feeeeeel? Do you know, do you know, do you know, do you know, just how I feeeeeeeeel? SHEEEEEEER heart attack, SHEEEEEER heart attack, REEEEEEEAAAAAAL CARDIAC *Lucifer finishes the song as it ends*
Bart: Nice job Luci! *hi-fives him*
Lucifer: thanks Bart, and nice job to you as well, and Morgan! WOW, You really can sing
Morgan: You Can Really Shred!
Evelyn; Okay, Morgan, I have to say now…WHAT THE FUCK?! You’ve been holding out on us!
Morgan: Okay guys, you can calm down, I’m not that good, watch, if you want I’ll even do one by myself, I bet you were still in awe from Bart's voice and Lucifer’s guitar shredding that you didn’t notice how…mediocre mine is…?
Bart, Cal, and Nora sing-songy: Buuullllshiiiiit!
Morgan dryly: shut up you three
Bart: besides, me and Nora were going to do one next
Morgan: sorry Bart, you guys can go after
Evelyn; I’ll take that bet…and you gotta let me pick
Morgan: …will you leave me alone about this if I do?
Evelyn; …for about two minutes maybe?
Morgan dryly: seriously? Two minutes? That’s the best offer?
Evelyn: …you can pick when the two minutes are?
Morgan sarcastically: oh, how gratuitous of you! Letting me pick when the two minutes are! How about picking a time longer than my asshole ex-boyfriend lasted!
*multiple people choke on their drinks for a second*
Evelyn: Fucking hell! I was not expecting that from you
Lucifer: to be fair she is a Stark…but only two minutes? Really?!
Morgan dryly: yep
Lucifer: wow…that’s honestly kind of sad, especially for you, at least tell me he wasn’t a one–
Morgan dryly: he was
Lucifer: oh bloody hell that must’ve been awful
Bart: okay maybe we could move on from this
Morgan: you have nothing to worry about Bart trust me, he’s in the future remember,*smirks innocently* besides, I moved on to bigger and better things, and you’re doing WAY better than he did
Nora dryly: oh GOD I didn’t need to hear that
Evelyn innocently: and you made fun of me and Aaron for PDA
Lucifer quietly to christian: how much did she have to drink before that tequila sunrise you made her
Christian quietly: …potentially enough to get her slightly tipsy
Morgan dryly: just shut up and pick up another time!
Evelyn: …five minutes?
Morgan; okay, maybe more time than it takes for me to diffuse a bomb
Evelyn dryly: you cannot diffuse a bomb in five minutes
Morgan: *raises her eyebrow dryly* Wanna bet?
Cal: she can, I’ve seen it before
Evelyn: damn…why the hell are you not a spy??
Morgan; I mean, technically I am, I just don’t go on many missions considering the fact that I’m more suited, see what I did there, to work in a lab, or fight on the battlefield
Evelyn: YOU ARE?!?!
Bart: Yep
Evelyn: Okay fine…six minutes?
Morgan sarcastically: *dramatic gasps* A whole SIX MINUTES?! How Generous
Evelyn innocently: for your ex-boyfriend that would be apparently
Morgan innocently: yeah, but you’re not him, so…
Evelyn: six minutes of your choosing is the best offer you’re getting take it or leave it
Morgan reluctantly: *sighs dryly* …fine…
Evelyn: good, *goes to the computer*
Morgan: alright, off the stage you two, let’s get this over with
Lucifer: right, good luck *grabs his drink, puts the guitar away, and goes back to the others*
Bart: good luck Morgan *giver her a quick kiss and speeds back to the others*
Evelyn: oh, here’s a good one…
Morgan: …should I be concerned?
Evelyn: don’t worry I picked one I’m pretty sure you like
* Don’t stop believin’ by Journey starts playing*
Morgan: Okay, thank you for at least giving me a good song… Just a small town girl, Livin' in a lonely world, She took the midnight train going anywhere…Just a city boy, Born and raised in South Detroit, He took the midnight train going anywhere…A singer in a smokey room, A smell of wine and cheap perfume, For a smile they can share the night, It goes on and on and on and on, Strangers waitin', Up and down the boulevard, Their shadows searchin' in the niiight…Street Lights, people, Livin' just to find emotion, Hidin', somewhere in the NIIIIIIIIIIGHT…Workin' hard to get my fill, Everybody wants a thriiiill, Payin' anything to roll the dice, Just one more tiiiiiime, Some'll win, some will lose, some are born to sing the bluuuues, Whoa, the movie never ends, It goes on and on and on and on, Strangers waitin', Up and down the boulevard, Their shadows searchin' in the niiiiiight, Streetlights, people, Livin' just to find emotion, Hidin', somewhere in the NIIIIIIIIIIIGHT *jamming to the solo playing*
Evelyn to the others:…so she’s never allowed to claim she can’t sing after this right?
Everyone else but Cal, Bart and Nora: yep
Nora dryly: we’ve been telling her this for years, we don’t know why, but she almost always refuses to sing in public, and it’s not a stage fright thing either
Lucifer: right, because I’ve sat in on one of her bi-monthly science and engineering lessons on accident, and she did a remarkably good job with that
Evelyn: …how do you accidentally sit in on one of those?
Lucifer: I was high and thought I was in a TV show, but I do remember that she did do a good job
Evelyn; …you can get high?
Lucifer: if it is a sort of magic superdrug, yes, or if I self-actualize and let it happen, I don’t let it happen as much anymore, although Deadpool’s Funrito’s admittedly aren’t that bad
Morgan; Don't stop believin', Hold on to that feelin', Streetlights, peopleeeeee
*the song ends*
*the others start cheering for Morgan*
Morgan: alright, we’re done here *turns off her mic* Bart catch! *tosses it*
Bart: *runs and catches it, then runs back to his seat*
Morgan: *walking back to the others* I told you I’m no–
Everyone there: BULLSHIT
Morgan dryly: seriously!
Everyone else: YES
Evelyn dryly: you’re EASILY the best singer here, maybe even the best singer in the base
Morgan: Can we just move on!
Bart: But you’re so good at singing!
Morgan; weren’t you and Nora going to do a song?
Bart: *sighs* alright fine, I’ll drop it, Nora, You ready?
Nora: Yep! *takes a mic and races to the stage with Bart*
* Poison by Bell Biv DeVoe starts playing*
Bart: …Girl I must warn you, I sense something strange in my mind, Yeah yo situation is serious, Let's cure it 'cause we're running out of time. Mm mm tell 'em Rick,
Nora: it's all so beautiful, Relationships they seem from the start, Yeah mm mm it's all so deadly. When love is not together from the heart. Mm mm check it out
Bart: It's driving me out of my mind, That's why it's hard for me to find, Can't get it outta my head, Miss her, kiss her, love her, wrong move you're dead
Bart and Nora in unison: That girl is poison…
Aaron: You know Bart and Nora can really sing too…
Evelyn: …hey Morgan is there any way you and Bart could cover for me and Aaron during the show days we go to visit Victoire’s universe if we can convince this Oliver guy to let us do it? Odds are we’d only be missing one showday
Morgan: …you’re going to try to convince Oliver Queen, aka the GODDAMN SPECTRE, the Guardian of the fucking multiverse, to let you take a trip to a universe where you’re a celebrity and the multiverse ISN’T common knowledge?
Evelyn: Yeah, it shouldn’t be that hard right?
Morgan; *laughs* y-you see Evelyn, under normal circumstances I’d say fuck no, get someone else who’s actually an actor to do it, but in this case I’ll agree to it and I’ll talk to bart about doing it, he’ll probably say yes, on one condition, we make this a bet, you successfully convince Oliver to let you go, and get him to write you a note with his signature, I’ll do it, but when you fail to convince him…you have to help me sneak in to somewhere to help me get a component for a project I’ve been working on
Evelyn: considering If you had just asked I’d likely do that anyway, deal
Lucifer: hold on a moment, is this somewhere Nazi affiliated?
Morgan: …sort of? The place in question is the LexCorp LA branch, a company that builds A SHITTON of advanced cybernetics stuff and weaponry for the Sixth Reich, we’re talking bombs, computer systems for targeting systems on tanks and blasters, basically, anything you can find that’s tech related that you can put into a weapon can get built there, but they have other stuff, tachyon devices, or more accurately, what I’m looking for, a Nuclear Tachyon Atom Splicer
Lucifer: interesting…well you have my approval for that mission, also we’ll have to consider a takedown mission of that place, so Evelyn, any information you can get on that place while there, you bring it to me
Evelyn: got it…also I’m not sure what the hell that thing you just said Morgan would look like so you better coming with me on that mission
Morgan: deal
*they shake hands*
*after poison ends*
Nora: Cal! We’re up!
Cal: alright, *force pulls bart’s mic from him*
Bart: Hey!
Cal dryly: were you still using it?
Bart: no…but a little heads up would be nice!
Cal: same goes to you running people to places bud!
*Bart speeds off the stage as does nora but she speeds back with Cal*
Cal: did you put in the song?
Nora; yep!
* Don’t Go Breaking my heart by Elton John and Kiki Dee starts playing*
Morgan: oh C’mon This song AGAIN
Evelyn: …what’s wrong with this song?
Bart dryly: they do this song EVERY SINGLE TIME WE DO KARAOKE
Evelyn: huh…wait Hang on, Morgan I thought you said you don’t normally sing in front of others, Bart’s making it sound like this is a regular thing for you guys
Morgan: it is, these three I’m fine with, others…that’s where I have issues
Evelyn: you didn’t have any issues today
Morgan; yeah, because I was trying to prove a point, but moving on,
Bart and Morgan jokingly while Cal and Nora are singing: Boooooo!
*after the song ends*
Bart and Morgan jokingly again: Boooooo!
Bart jokingly: get off the stage!
Nora dryly: oh Shut the hell up you two!
Aaron: Hey, Christian! You and the other yahoos still haven’t gone yet, you guys want to do one?
Christian: DON–
Sam, Billy Bob, Steve: YES
Daniel: *snorts* oh this is going to be hilarious
Christian: …but there’s only four microphones in here, so I guess I’ll have to sit–
Sam: Nora, Bart, could one of you two run to another room and get another one
Nora: I got it *runs to another karaoke room and back in a flash of purple lightning*
Christian: But it’s not linked to this room?
Morgan: *putting her glasses on* Friday, you got that?
Friday: *appearing in a hologram briefly* already done morg! *disappears*
Evelyn innocently: There we go! No more excuses!
Christian dryly: what have you done…
Sam: My turn to pick! *goes through the computer* got one!
Billy Bob, Sam, Daniel, and Steve: KARAOKE TIME
*Christian groans dryly*
*the five yahoos (Christian Reluctantly) all head to the stage*
Sam: Let’s do this guys!
Christian under his breath; well, might as well make the best out of this
* You’re welcome by Dwayne Johnson plays*
Evelyn: *laughing* oh this ought to be good
Steve: I see what’s happening, yeah, You're face to face with greatness, and it's strange…
Billy Bob: … You don't even know how you feel, It's adorable, Well, it's nice to see that humans never change…
Daniel: …Open your eyes, let's begin, Yes, it's really me, it's Maui, Breathe it in…
Sam: I know it's a lot, The HAIR, the bod, When you're staring at a demi-god
All five of them: What can I say except, "You're welcome", For the tides, the sun, the sky, Hey, it's okay, it's okay, You're welcome, I'm just an ordinary demi-guy
Christian: Hey, What has two thumbs and pulled up the sky, When you were waddling yea high? This guy
Sam: When the nights got cold, Who stole you fire from down below? You're lookin' at him, yo
Steve: Oh, also I lassoed the sun, You're welcome, To stretch your days and bring you fun
All five of them: So what can I say except you're welcome, For the islands I pulled from the sea, There's no need to pray, it's okay, You're welcome…
Aaron: oh, here we go, Daniel is pretty good at this part, I can’t wait for this…
Evelyn: …have you heard them do this song?
Aaron: yeah
Evelyn: when??
Aaron: Guys night with me, the Yahoos, Ricky, Lucifer, Luis and a couple others… here we go…
*all of a sudden they hear a familiar sixth voice as Daniel’s about to do his part*
???: Well, come to think of it, Kid, honestly I could go on and on, I could explain every natural phenomenon, The tide, the grass, the ground, Oh, that was Maui just messing around..
Daniel: …what the hell??
Lucifer: Who the bloody hell–why do I know that voice?
Evelyn: I also know that voice…
Victoire: same…Why do I know that voice??
Lucifer: Oh BLOODY HELL IS THAT–
Deadpool/Wade Wilson: *walking into the room singing with his mask off and a microphone* And the tapestry here on my SKIN, Is a map of the victories I win, Look where I've been, I make everything happen, Look at that mean mini-Maui just tickety-tappin', Ha ha ha ha ha ha, HEY…
Everyone but the yahoos (except for christian): WADE?!?!
Deadpool: *pulls out his wand and nonverbally silences everyone but himself then makes his way to the stage* Well, anyway let me say, "You're welcome", For the wonderful world you know, Hey, it's okay, it's okay, you're welcome, Well, come to think of it, I gotta go, hey, Hey, it's your day to say, "You're welcome", you're welcome 'Cause I'm gonna need that boat, I'm sailing away, away, you're welcome, 'Cause Maui can do anything but float, You're welcome, You're welcome, You're welcome, And thank you! *the song ends as he then takes a breath* well that was fun…oh, right, *unsilences everyone as he then puts his mask back on* *innocently* How are we doing today, sugar bears!
*everyone groans*
Evelyn: okay, I’m just going to ask, what the fuck are you doing here??
Aaron: And why did you have your mask off…?
Christian: And why did you interrupt our song??
Sam: And who the fuck are you?!?!
Evelyn: hang on, do you not know deadpool-infinity?
Victoire: How do YOU know deadpool??
Evelyn: he shows up every now and to fuck with people, but Why the fuck he’s here this time is what I’d like to know, we tried for a while acting like its the first time he’s been here in order to get him to stop coming but it didn’t work, and he just kept coming to piss people off
Deadpool: and I’ll answer all those questions in a minute, sugar bear, but first thing, Aar Bear, did you ask me why I had my mask off? What’s the matter? Don’t Like how I look under the mask Aar Bear? I never took you to be one who’d make fun of the CANCEROUS
Aaron: THAT’S NOT WHAT I–
Deadpool: Chill out Aar Bear, I’m just fucking with you
Aaron: …okay, that was messed up, and Don’t call me that
Deadpool: and moving the fuck on, to these idiots who don’t know who I am, The Name’s Wade Wilson, but you can call me Deadpool, I’m from Earth-Infinity, I interrupted the song and took it over, because I can, and it was hilarious
Lucifer: Okay, is there any possible way you could, I don't know, LEAVE?
Deadpool: no can do Luci
Lucifer: do NOT call me Luci…and why can’t you leave?
Deadpool: Because I’m actually not here just to fuck with you guys this time, I’m here on business
Lucifer; hang on, don’t tell me Oliver sent you because the multiverse is in danger AGAIN, we just bloody saved it three days ago!!
Deadpool: I’d better fucking hope not, I have a Job too!
Evelyn dryly: you have a job that’s just not multiverse traveling and fucking with people?
Deadpool: YES I DO, I am a highly skilled mercenary and bounty hunter in my universe for your information, why do the hell do you think I’m called the Merc with the Mouth, now as for why I’m here, you two, speedy one and speedy two, I need your help with something
Nora dryly: we’re not hitmen
Deadpool: Well in this case, I might not be either depending on the situation, so do you know Wally West, also known as the Kid Flash of this earth?
Nora: Our uncle?
Deadpool: yep! You know where he is? I need to have a quick chat with him
Bart: …why?
Deadpool: all I know, is that this rich speedster guy, Max Mercury, from my Earth is paying me a SHITTON of money to find him, apparently he projecting his mind through the speed force of this earth or something like that and it’s giving him some major headaches so he hired me to find him, and either convince him to stop, or kill him
Bart: …are you sure it’s our earth’s Wally West? Because our uncle wally died years ago in a Nazi raid led by Michael
Deadpool: …you’ve gotta be kidding me…he’s DEAD?! So now I gotta go back and tell this guy he’s fucking crazy, great, thanks for that
Bart: Now, hang on a second, Lucifer, you said he was PRESUMED dead, right?
Lucifer: after that raid, there’s no way he could still be alive
Nora: I think I know where this is going, and you’re right bart, this wouldn’t be the first time we thought someone was for sure dead and they weren’t, Maul, Cisco, Adelynn, well maul we eventually killed for good, but Cisco and Adelynn are still alive!
Bart; so maybe he’s Alive! And trying to find help!
Deadpool: …whatever, if he’s alive and you find him, great, just tell him to stop fucking randomly projecting his mind through speed forces or whatever, and give me a call so I can get my fucking money I’m leaving to tell the guy that I have some people on the case, Byeeeeeeee *runs out of the room*
Evelyn; well that…happened…
Lucifer: With that, and the fact we’re out of alcohol, I think we should maybe call it a night?
Aaron: that sounds like a good idea
Morgan innocently: of course you and Evelyn would think that would be a good idea
*all of a sudden a random kid runs into the room sights evelyn and runs and hugs Evelyn as she just stood up*
Evelyn: –OOF…hey there bud!
Victoire: uhhh…I thought you didn’t have kids in this universe?
Evelyn: oh, this is my Godson!
Hudson Hurder-Alves: I missed you Aunt Ev!
Evelyn: I missed you too Hudson, but it’s kind of late, I’m a little surprised your mom let you come find me
Hudson: welllll…
Evelyn: You snuck out didn’t you?
Hudson: …no…well not this time, I just had to say I’d go to bed after I found you…
Aaron: *snorts loudly* that sounds about right
Hudson: Can I stay with you guys tonight! Pleeeeeaaaasseeeee
Evelyn kind of nervous: Uhhhhh…how about tomorrow?!
Hudson: Why not tonight?!
Aaron: you see…we’re both REALLY tired from the show
Morgan under her breath: sure you are
Evelyn: And from my…uh…job…
Hudson dryly: I know you and my mom are both spies I’m not an idiot
Lucifer helping them out without lying: *laughs* Well I suppose there’s no fooling you then, so obviously know that she’s a spy, well, you should know that she just got back from a VERY important mission today, now the details of said mission are top secret so you can’t exactly know what happened on it, but I can tell you if you’d like to know, who it is she had to get information on
Hudson: …it’s okay if I know? Also I want to help
Evelyn and Aaron immediately in unison: No
Lucifer: First off, while the information that is was she was sent on to get is classified, as well as the details of the mission, however who the person was she was getting information isn’t, so I could easily tell you that if you’d like, but as for you helping, unfortunately you’re a little too young at the moment for a job in the resistance if that’s what you’re asking for
Hudson: I’m nearly twelve! And nobody notices kids anyway, I know a lot of the resistance gossip…
Lucifer; oh really? Well then, you and I will have to talk sometime, and you maybe will be able to be a spy, when you’re older of course, because I’m sorry, while normally I’m not a stickler for the rules there are certain rules I will not allow exceptions for, one of which being the age requirements for resistance jobs
Hudson: So what's the Age requirement then?!
Lucifer: *not using his mojo* depends on the job you wish for, so tell me hudson, what is it you truly desire to do for the resistance?
Hudson: Field Spy, duh!
Lucifer: well, for spies you can sign up to be one at 17, but at 16 if you want a head start, 15 if you can get parental consent, you can sign up for a spy training program to better prepare you for when you turn 17 and you can apply to be a spy, or at 16 if you get guardian consent you can become apply to be a spy
Hudson: Apply?
Lucifer: oh yes, there’s a whole series of tests that you have to go through in order to enter the resistance spy program as a field spy
Hudson: Well then I’ll take the program! And Pass them all!
Lucifer: *smirks lightly* I’m sure you will…I like you Hudson, but again, all of this can’t even begin until you’re at least 15, 16 if you can't get your mum to say yes to that
Hudson: But I don’t want to do nothing! …what’s the job with the youngest age requirement!
Lucifer: that would be…working in either, the bar restaurant with roberto, or one of the other mess hall kitchens, you can start that at fourteen with parental permission, fifteen without it, or if you take and pass the right advanced resistance classes offered to kids your age, you could intern in R&D for Morgan at…as young as fourteen? Morgan is that right?
Morgan: thirteen actually, but that one you’d need parental permission for that, and either way you’ll have to pass another test designed by me, and before you ask, No I’m not hinting at what it is
Hudson: huh…good to know
Evelyn: alright, that’s enough of that, Hudson, let’s get you back to your parents
Hudson: Alright, thanks for the talk Mr Morningstar!
Lucifer: please hudson, It’s Lucifer and of course, if ever you want to talk feel free to come find me, I’m always happy to lend an ear
Evelyn; alright, Victoire, Teddy, it was great meeting the two of you, we’ll have to hang out again sometime
Aaron: Yeah, you guys are a lot of fun!
Victoire: Y-yeah! That’d be great!
Evelyn: great, just contact Luci, however the hell you do, whenever you’re free
Aaron: alright, let’s go Hudson
*Hudson, Aaron and Evelyn leave*
Christian: Well I’m going to bed, and I’m dragging these kind of tipsy yahoos with me before they do something stupid, let’s go guys!
The other four: HEY
Christian: I’m not wrong am I?
Daniel: …alright fair enough…
Teddy: It was nice meeting you!
*they leave*
Victoire: I guess we should probably go too then, Morgan, Cal, Bart, Nora, it was great seeing you all, Lucifer, thank you SO much for inviting us to the show tonight, and Introducing us to Evelyn and Aaron FREAKING Tveit… and Please let us know when the next show is
Lucifer: of course, it was no problem, we’d love to have you back at the next one
Victoire: *reaches into her purse and pulls out her SpecPhone and notices the 60 missed messages* thank god Oliver gave us a texting feature, but it looks like we missed a lot…the cousin groupchat is blowing up…I wonder why they’re using this one instead of the one on our normal phones
Teddy: *checks, flips his open and scrolls through the holoscreen that pops out of their messages* Uhhh, because Aidan fainted apparently?? TWICE?!
Victoire: WHAT?! *looks through it*
Teddy: yeah, the second time trying to prove he was fine by running around the room with his speed, apparently they just found out about the speedster-metabolism thing the hard way
Bart: ooh… my pops went through this when he got his speed, I saw the footage, it was not pretty, he crashed into a metal wall a hundred miles an hour when he found out
Teddy: and Aidan didn’t even make it two inches after he passed out the first time there was a flash of purple lightning then he was out again, but good news, he’s alright, Iris took him to S.T.A.R. Labs, Caitlin examined him and everything’s fine
Nora; well that’s good
Victoire: yeah, well at least they know now…although admittedly that doesn’t help much considering tomorrow is his last day as a speedster…alright, now that we know that they’re okay, we really should be going
Morgan; it was good seeing you guys
Teddy: you too *pulls out his extrapolator and opens a breach* bye guys!
Victoire: see you guys later
*the two leave*
Lucifer: alright, the yahoos, the actors, and the wizards all left without remembering to help us clean up the drinks and chicken bones from the wings so it looks like it’s just us five
Bart and Nora: we got this *runs and cleans*
Lucifer: …well then, I suppose that’s our job done then…I’ll be in the penthouse if anybody needs me, goodnight everybody!
*later back with Aaron and Evelyn as they’re heading back to their room after dropping off hudson*
Evelyn: tonight was a lot of fun
Aaron smirking: and it’s going to get a whole lot more fun
Evelyn smirking: oh I can’t wait for that…you know it was nice meeting victoire and teddy tonight
Aaron: it was wasn’t it…although something tells me our lives are about to get even more…interesting…now that, thanks to your idea for us to go to the other universe where she’s from for a little vacation, we’ll be getting involved with this multiverse stuff
Evelyn: oh definitely…but I’m sure we can handle all the chaos that comes with it, after all, we always do *kisses him*
Aaron: *kisses back* you’re right, now let’s hurry back, so we can continue what you just started with that kiss
Evelyn: *snort softly* deal
Notes:
Yep, you've now met Aaron and Evelyn Tveit and Hudson Hurder Alves, three people who are about to become EXTREMELY relevant to the fic multiverse, but until the next chapter, this has been a padjake written story, now, Mischief Managed!
Chapter 3: Speed Connections
Notes:
Alright as the title kind of hints this chapter is going to be George (111605) and Aidan going back to the speed force to have a chat with Speed force Nora, also, at the end of this there will be a section that will be labeled bonus scene, there will be more of these bonus scenes throughout this series from here on out, some may be relevent to the chapter they're in, some may be not, but they're there anyway, but now before I begin as always all OC credits go to my friend @wifeofenjolras who you can find on wattpad, now on with the chapter!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Iris Wood (62406): Thanks again for watching the kids again Grandma Lea, Grandpa Sirius
Sirius Black (62406): *holding Hunter* of course, you know we love getting to see our Great-Grandkids, lucky for us it’s not a therapy day
Aidan Wood (62406): therapy day?
Sirius: it’s a long story…
Azalea Black (62406): *holding Morgan and Arthur* I also love getting to see my great grandbabies, but remind us, why’re we watching the kids today
Aidan: So you know how I’ve been a temporary speedster the last few days?
Azalea dryly: yeah, especially considering the fact you FAINTED because of it
Aidan dryly: did you tell EVERYONE about that??
Iris dryly: You. FAINTED. TWICE
Aidan: *sighs* right…but anyway, today’s my last day as a speedster, and because of that I have to fulfill my promise that I had made to the Speedforce of Earth-X to go Back there before I run out of speed, and she gave me this weird electric shock pass thing so I could bring iris with me too, and she…? They? The speedforce, did the same thing with the other George for Allana
Azalea: right…*jokingly pretending* …and the speed force is?
Iris dryly: grandma lea, PLEASE tell me you’re joking
Azalea: *laughs* I am, even if it wasn’t for all of this, while I might not be as much into comics as your grandpa sirius and uncle james are, I’ve still read quite a bit of them after your grandpa convinced me to give them a try and I know what the speed force is, maybe even more than Aidan
Aidan: actually that’s gonna be a no, because I speed read through all of Sirius’ Flash Comics
Azalea surprised: you gave him access to the Comic Collection??
Sirius: I meannnn…I didn’t want him going in COMPLETELY blind even if he is only a temporary speedster
Aidan dryly: but I somehow didn’t find one at all mentioning the speedster metabolism
Sirius dryly: Extreme Metabolic Healing Factor, I know bloody well that got mentioned, your speed healing?
Aidan: *realizes* That’s why it said Metabolic…
Iris: *facepalms* I love you Aidan, and most of the time you DO have common sense, so I just have to ask…What the H–
Aidan immediately: Babies in the room
Iris dryly: …how did you not put that together sooner??
Aidan: …I honestly don’t know…but either way, we have to go, so are you ready love
Iris: I am, Grandma, grandpa, thanks again for watching the kids, *goes over and kisses each one of the kids on their foreheads* I love all of you, alright let’s do this Aidan *pulls out her extrapolator and opens a breach*
*Aidan and Iris both walk through the breach*
*The multiversal bar*
Oliver Queen/The Spectre/Green Arrow: So how’re the other Legends doing? How’s Ava? And baby Laurel?
Sara Lance/White Canary: Ava’s doing good, and Laurel *smiling* she’s doing amazing, she just started running for the first time yesterday, she was so proud of herself, and Ava and I are SO proud of her, learning how to “wun”
Oliver: *laughs* you know when the original Crisis started, you said you never thought you’d ever see Dad Ollie, well I may have seen, train wreck Sara, assassin Sara, black canary Sara, white canary Sara, and time traveler Sara, I never thought I’d see Mama Sara, it suits you
Sara; *snorts* thanks Ollie
*All of a sudden two breaches open one with Iris and Aidan walking through it, the other with George and Allana walking through it*
Oliver: right on cue
All four of them; Hey Oliver!
Allana Weasley (111605); Iris! Aidan! So good to see the two of you!
Iris: Same goes to you two, Allana, alt dad
Sara: So where are the four of you heading?
George Weasley (111605) slowly confused: Earth-X, but…who are you?
Oliver: *laughs* this is a friend of mine and Barry’s from Earth-Prime, Sara Lance, Sara, this is George and Allana Weasley from Earth-111605
Sara: Nice to meet you guys, Iris, Aidan, good to see you both again
Aidan: you too Sara
Oliver: Earth-X?
Aidan: yep, Bart said he and Nora would meet us in Morgan’s Lab, we’ve got a meeting with the speed force since it’s the last day of us having speed we’ve got to get to and they said they’d help us get there
Oliver: good thinking asking Bart and Nora to help you with that
George: yeah, because while we managed to run out of the speed force bloody merlin knows we don’t know how to get into it
Oliver: alright, I’ll open your breach, remember Iris, in a couple of days, we have the first Leader check in meeting for the multiversal guardians
Iris: I will, and I have an interesting idea to boost everyone’s morale after all the kidnapping bullshit that happened
Oliver: Oh really, what is it?
Iris: You’ll see
Oliver: very well *opens a red breach* there you go, that’ll go straight to morgan’s lab
Iris: thanks Oliver!
Aidan: *runs through the breach with Iris*
George: *does the same with Allana*
Sara without tact somewhat joking: …you ever wonder what speedster sex is like?
Oliver: SARA
Sara jokingly: I’m just saying, I might consider asking them what kind of deal they got going on with the Earth-X speed force, and make that happen for me, because I know I could probably make Ava even happier than I already do *takes a sip of scotch* I’m just saying their wives are two VERY lucky ladies, not as lucky as I am with Ava but…
Oliver: for god’s sake Sara… *takes a sip of beer*
*Earth-X, Morgan’s Lab*
Morgan Stark/Iron Maiden: *examining some sort of specialized gun* hmm…this actually looks pretty good…hey Hudson! How’s the Diamond ammo mag coming along!
Hudson: *walks over from another work bench wearing a pair of goggles holding a black magazine* I just finished the mag Miss stark!
Morgan: *takes the magazine* not bad work *opens it and examines it* and you made sure that you—
Hudson; …Inserted half of the carbon to the cartridges split slightly at the base before sealing them and sticking them into the magazine in order for the extra programmed “Diamonds in the sky” protocol will actually do what it’s supposed to do and create sharp diamond showers when one is fired into the sky? Yep!
Morgan; well then I think we’re pretty much done here, I just need to test this thing for safety later, as well as have Friday run some other diagnostics to triple check the work later…you know I gotta say, you’ve really grown in these last few months, and it shows, especially with you putting this together all by yourself, except for the coding, that was me but most of this stuff was your idea, most kids your age couldn’t even come close to pulling something off like this, and your aunt Evelyn is REALLY going to appreciate this Diamond Gun—*realizes* shit…
Hudson: it’s fine, I already knew that she was the diamond, hell half of the resistance knows she’s the diamond, and like I said last night, I know half of the resistance gossip since no one notices kids
Morgan: You won’t tell anyone I said anything, right?
Hudson: as long as you don’t tell my parents I’m secretly interning for you, my lips are sealed
Morgan: *snorts* you have a deal…by the way, nice work keeping up appearances last night with the others
Hudson: Hey, I like my job, If I didn’t I’d lose it, and likely not be able to help for even longer. Does that really seem like it would help me?
Morgan: *laughs softly* I suppose not, seriously though, nice work today kid, but while we’re on the topic of your interning, are you SURE you still want to be a spy someday? Because I’m just saying, you fit right in with R&D and I may only be twenty six but I definitely wouldn’t turn down a partner to help me run this place since currently R&D consists of just me and unofficially you, considering most of R&D right now other than Jax occasionally, is either dead, captured, or comatose…or at the atlantean base, I called Amadeus earlier, he’s doing well by the way
Hudson: thanks for the offer, but I’m sure…but is there anyway for when I do start spying you’d maybe be able to help me make my own—
Morgan: Iron suit? Nice try kid, I like you, but I wasn’t born yesterday, I’m not giving that level of tech to an eleven year old, besides didn’t build mine until I was 16, so either wait until you’re sixteen or build it yourself
Hudson: Dang it…although…you’re a spy too, right?
Morgan: I am, why?
Hudson: as well as a soldier, and head of R&D?
Morgan: yeah
Hudson: well what’s to keep me from doing the same thing, being a spy, and working in R&D in my free time, plus that way I’d have access to new gadgets quicker
Morgan: *snorts* not a bad plan…hey, I know you said you think your parents would do everything in their power to keep you from interning again if they knew but what about Evelyn and Aaron? All I’m saying is Evelyn is going to want to know who built this thing, and while I may have programmed the gun, the framework for it, the cartridges, the magazine, hell even the ideas for some of the programs were yours!
Hudson: I don’t know, I love Aunt Ev and Uncle A, but they’ve been friends with my parents a long time, especially my mom, plus Evelyn is like a sister to Lucifer so…
Morgan: I’m just saying to think about it, besides you can’t hide the fact you’re a STEM genius forever
Hudson: and I won’t…just for another year and one month when I’m thirteen and I can convince my mom to let me officially intern for you
Morgan: alright, if you say so, but for now, let’s take a break, want a soda from the minifridge before we start work on the thundergun? *takes off her gloves and puts it on her work bench
Hudson Hurder-Alves: sure! *lifts his goggles and takes off his gloves*
Morgan: *going into a mini fridge she has under her work bench* what do you want? Root Beer, Coke, Dr. Pepper, Fanta, or Sprite?
Hudson: root beer!
Morgan: *snorts at the excitement as he takes out two root beers and tosses one to him and opens one herself as she closes the minifridge*
Hudson: *catches it then opens the root beer and takes a sip*
*a green breach suddenly opens*
Hudson: *drops his root beer in shock* uhh…
Morgan: *not facing him or the breach just hears the sound of the can falling* dang it hudson, you’re lucky that my lab floors are self cleaning and have a drain system–*turns around and sees the breach* Oh shit…okay suddenly things are making sense *realizes* OH FRAK THAT’S TODAY
Hudson: What's today? And What’s THAT?!
Morgan: okay, we’ll be fine, the people coming through that can definitely keep a secret, Friday, Run final diagnostics on the Tachyon devices
Friday: they’re both in working order
Morgan: great, Hudson, I’ll explain everything in a minute, but do you remember the tachyon amplification devices we were working on with Bart and Nora the other day, I need you to get those from the R&D Storage room *pulls out and tosses him a key card from her pocket*
Hudson *catches it* got it! *goes to a door in the lab and uses the key card to open it as he goes into the storage room*
*as that happens in a flash of purple and orange lightning, Aidan and George run out of the breach, holding Iris and Allana respectively*
Morgan; hey guys!
Iris: Hey Morgan, are Bart and Nora here yet?
Morgan: No, but they shouldn't be too much longer, but Aidan, George, the two of you are going to want to get into your speedster suits
Allana: *smirking innocently* Spandex time!
George, Aidan, Morgan, and Hudson from the storage room: IT’S NOT SPANDEX
*silence*
Iris: Did anyone else just hear the voice of a kid?
Morgan: it’s okay, that’s just my intern Hudson, he’s getting from
Aidan: You have an intern? And how young is he??
Morgan: it’s fine he’s REALLY smart, but do me a favor though he doesn’t exactly meet the age requirement to officially work for me, and his parents likely wouldn’t like him already having a resistance job at 11, almost twelve despite them also having jobs in the resistance, hell his mom’s a spy for god's sake, but he’s been helping me out these last few months
Iris slowly: uh-huh…should we be concerned?
Morgan: *sighs* No, he wants to be here, and he’s REALLY good at what he does, let me show you… *puts the magazine into the gun from before* …and click on the basic setting, *presses the blue button on the side of the gun George, Aidan, catch *fires two shimmering projectiles*
*George and Aidan both use their speed to catch them perfectly*
Iris: WHAT THE BLOODY HELL WAS THAT FOR?!?!
Morgan: testing, don’t worry, I knew they’d catch it, if they weren’t speedsters I wouldn’t have fired it, HUDSON GET OVER HERE, THE GUN WORKED
Aidan: *looking at the small shining projectile* Are these gems??
Morgan; Diamonds to be specific
George: why the bloody hell are you shooting diamonds at us?!
Morgan: well, now that I have General level Clearance and am able to know the names and code names of ALL the spies, Lucifer had sent in an order to R&D with a list of Agents and Codenames that he said he wanted custom guns for, this one going to Agent Diamond
Iris: okay, I guess that makes a bit more sense
*Hudson runs back out holding what looks like two circular metal clamps *
Hudson: where do you want these miss stark? Also you said the Gun worked?!
Morgan: Yep! And right on my workbench, Oh and another reason I shot that was to prove how good hudson is at his job
Aidan; …he built THAT?!
Morgan; yep *puts the gun down* Hudson, meet some friends of mine from another universe, Aidam and Iris–
Hudson: –Wood from Earth-62406, me and a couple of the other kids of the resistance snuck into the resistance after party from after the Anakin Skywalker from another universe killed Vader
Morgan: *snorts* nice! But anyway, this is Iris, and these are George and Allana Weasley from universe-111605, although I’m curious to hear more about that sneak in story later
Hudson: so I’m guessing, these two *pointing to George and Aidan* are the ones we were modifying the tachyon enhancers for
Aidan: the what?
Morgan: I’ll explain when Bart and Nora–
*Bart and nora then speed into the lab*
Morgan: –get here…you guys are late, you know that
Nora; Morgan, you should know by now that it’s the Allen Gene
Bart: yeah, it’s like pops used to say, the super speed doesn’t make up for super-tardiness, hey guys!
Aidan: hey Bart, Nora, thanks for agreeing to help us out with this
Nora: It’s no problem
Bart: hey Hudson!
Hudson: Hey mister west-allen! Miss West-Allen! It’s good to see you guys again
Bart: we’ve both told you this, you can call us Bart and Nora
Hudson: right, sorry, Bart, Nora, moving on, so the gun actually worked?!
Morgan: yep!
Hudson: YES!!!
Aidan: hang on, I thought you said no one could know about him interning for you
Hudson: yep, the only ones who know are you guys, Miss Stark, Bart, Nora, and Master Kestis
Morgan; Bart’s my boyfriend, and before that was one of my best friends, and Nora and Cal Are my best friends, Like hell am I keeping this from them
George: right…so when do we go to the meeting with the speed force?
Bart: we’re waiting on one more
Nora: you see, while we both know how to leave the speedforce, I’ve never visited to the Speedforce intentionally, and Bart’s only done it once, but we do know someone who has multiple times And you do too actually
*all of a sudden a green breach opens and Barry runs through it*
Barry Allen/The Flash (Prime): Hey guys!
Bart: Thanks for coming pops!
Iris: good to see you Barry, so they said you know how to get to the speed force
Barry: I do, now you guys said you already had two tachyon enhancers for Aidan and George?
Hudson: yep, they’re right there on the workbench *points to the two clamps from before*
Barry: great–and you are?
Hudson: Hudson Hurder-Alves, it’s nice to meet you mister Allen, I’m Morgan’s intern!
Barry awkwardly trying not to be rude about the fact he’s eleven: Oh, I didn’t even know morgan HAD an intern
Morgan: the kid’s a tech and engineering genius, but we have to keep this a secret since he can’t officially work for me, and Lucifer would kill me if he found out I broke the age requirement for hiring resistance interns
Barry: …ooookay then?
Aidan: okay, seriously, what’s with the clamps this kid brought out
Hudson: again, my name’s Hudson, and they’re not clamps They’re tachyon enhancement devices, and they’re how the two of you are going to be able to run fast enough to enter the speedforce
Aidan: What do you mean run fast enough? We’re both the fastest man alive on each of our Earths respectively
Barry: right, but the more you have and use your speed, the faster you get, I can tell you right now, my speed definitely wasn’t what it is right now on day one, it took years of me working on my speed for me to get to the speed I’m at today, and in order to access the speed force, you need to go as fast as possible, so for today, you’ll be wearing those tachyon devices to give you a temporary boost, I had to use one of these in my second year as the flash when fighting the Evil speedster from Earth-2 known as Zoom or Hunter Zolomon
Bart: so did we with our Earth’s Hunter Zolomon, it took me and Nora to take him down, but now we have him in resistance lockup
Barry: I wish it could’ve been that way for our Zolomon, ours ran himself to death
Aidan: hang on, THAT'S A THING?!?!
Barry: well, you see he was on a sort of speed drug that was poisoning him where him exerting his speed too much killed him, or more accurately time time wraiths took him due to messing with time travel and made him the black flash, it’s a long story
George: bloody hell…
Morgan: alright, suit up everybody!
*all the speedsters speed into their super suits*
Allana brightly: Spandex!
All of the speedsters plus Morgan and Hudson: IT'S NOT SPANDEX
Allana: *snorts loudly* I mean it definitely looks like spandex
Iris: …okay, she does have a point about that
Morgan: I get that, but on behalf of all science, do NOT call it spandex…
Allana casually: you know that reminds me of a funny story, there was this one time when pretty much the entire jedi order practically fainted because Obi-Wan went shirtless to spar with anakin when he in spandex
Barry: well…oookay then?
Morgan: *sighs dryly* Aidan, George, just hold still while me and Barry put the tachyon enhancers on you, Hudson, grab the activation keys
Hudson: on it! *goes to a drawer and takes out two small rings, one with the XS emblem on it, and the other with the Impulse emblem on it*
Morgan: *takes one of the tachyon enhancers and places it onto Aidan’s chest around his suit emblem as the enhancer grips onto his chest*
Barry: *does the same with George*
Aidan: Okay, is it normal for it to tickle a little on your chest
George; I was about to ask that
Nora, Bart, Barry, Morgan, and Hudson: yeah
Morgan: you’ll get used to it, alright, now time to turn it on with the keys, hudson you get Aidan
Hudson: …Aidan is the one with the purple lightning right?
Morgan: yep, Nora’s is the one he’s wearing
Hudson: got it *hands over the ring with the Impulse emblem on it then sticks the ring with XS emblem on it in a slot on Aidan’s enhancer*
Morgan: *does the same with the impulse ring and George’s enhancer*
*all of a sudden there is a purple glow emitted around where Aidan’s enhancer is, and an orange glow around where George’s is as they both turn on*
Aidan:…George, do you feel a kind of cool burn on your chest?
George; I was just about to ask you the same thing, guys is this normal?
Morgan: …if it is, Nora and Bart never said anything about this
Bart: Normally it’s more of just a tingling sensation…
Hudson: could it maybe be a result of us attempting to use the tachyon enhancer at full output when they don’t have much speed in comparison to these three causing it to rebound into themselves?
Morgan: Nice thinking hudson, Friday?
Friday: yeah Morg?
Morgan: bring down the output of both Tachyon enhancers to… fifty percent?
Friday: doing it now
*all of a sudden they see sparks of Aidan’s purple Speedster lightning and George’s Orange speedster lightning coming off of them briefly*
Aidan: WHOA, okay, now I’m feeling that tingle you mentioned…and I feel faster too
George: same here…
Bart: and that means its working
Morgan: alright, Friday do me a favor and hack into Barry’s suit comms?
Friday: all done morg
Morgan: alright, the four of you *hands over an earpiece to Aidan, George, Allana, and Iris* put these on *puts on her glasses* they’ll allow me to communicate with you guys from the lab
George: will these work in the speed force?
Morgan: …probably? Barry’s suit comms probably not, but Bart and Nora’s should, so worst case scenario one of them keeps me updated
Barry: got it
Bart: alright, follow me and Nora guys, we’re heading to the beach *runs out the door*
*barry, Nora, Aidan holding Iris and George holding allana follow*
Morgan: Alright, Hudson, go into the drawer and grab a headset, we’ve got work to do just in case, Friday lock the lab doors just in case…
*L.A. Coastline, not that far from the Resistance building*
Bart: aaaand we’re here!
Iris: this does not look like central city, where the hell are we anyway?
Nora: Los Angeles, you see, during the second battle for the multiverse the Central City base was invaded so Morgan initiated an emergency teleportation protocol her dad set up and she improved upon called the Gallifreyan Gambit, transporting us to the original resistance base, that hasn’t been used since the 60s
Aidan: you mean that building we just– *pointing to the resistance building*
Bart: put your hand down!
Aidan: *quickly does so*
Bart: sorry, but you never know who could be watching, especially since Lucifer is making plans to reopen that nightclub as a cover for the base like how he did back in the 40s all the way to the early 60s
Iris: hang on, your base used to be an actual night club?
Nora; yeah, Lucifer bought it back when he started what was supposed to be a couple years vacation back in…1943? Bart is that right
Bart: it was ‘42, apparently even being a resistance base it was one of the most popular clubs of its era, and Lucifer’s planning on making it that again
Allana: uhhh…How the hell is he supposed to do that?! Isn’t he the kriffing most wanted fugitive on earth
Bart: he said he’s got it figured out
Iris: …how do you know this anyway?
Nora; Because Lucifer said once it’s done he’s going to have us speed around LA and post flyers for Lux once it reopens
Allana: the place is called Lux?
Bart: yep
Aidan: huh…so tell me what’s the plan for getting into the speedforce, and why’re we at the beach?
Bart: well while I’m not an expert on getting into the speedforce, I do know that you need a lot of speed t get in, and a lot of running space, and since you guys DEFINITELY aren’t ready for phasing, I chose somewhere we could guarantee we could have a straight shot without running into any trouble, and you two are about to learn a new trick on top of it
George: Oh really? And what’s that?
Nora: we’re going to be running over the Pacific ocean
Aidan: …we’re doing what now?
Barry: Running on water, i remember when I first figured out that I could do that, that’s definitely a fun trick, don’t worry, it’s not that hard
Bart: yeah, all you have to do, is run at least 37 meters per second, on the water
Morgan over comms: and according to the speed gages built into your tachyon enhancers you guys can clock that speed easily
George: Morgan?
Morgan over comms: yep, I just activated the comms, now once you run into the speed force it’ll take me, friday, and hudson a little bit for me to re-establish a connection but not too long
Aidan: alright, George, I think it’d be a good idea for us to do a test run of this whole running on water thing before we bring our wives over with us
George: good thinking there
Allana: yeah, I don’t particularly feel like getting dropped in the ocean today, so I like that call
Iris: same here
Aidan: Alright then, let’s do this…*runs towards the ocean at nearly Mach 1.5 causing for him to run on the water for several mile as he then turns around and runs back laughing* That was awesome
Iris: …okay, that was pretty cool…do you think you could do another test run again, I kind of want to get a video so I could send it to the cousins
Aidan: Sure thing love!
George: if you want I could do my practice run with him
Iris; that’d be great!*pulls out her specphone and sets up the holovideo feature, and sets it to slo-mo* I seriously cant believe these things are still flip phones but at least we can record and text now
Aidan: at least that, now, are you ready George?
George: Let's do this! *both run over the ocean at about Mach 1.5 running a couple circles far out then run back*
Iris: that was bloody amazing!
Allana: yeah! And do me a favor Iris and send me that video?
Iris; of course *puts her phone away*
Barry: alright, now that you’ve gotten running on water figured out, in order to get to the speedforce, you run, and focus, before we get started, breathe, close your eyes *does so as the other speedsters do so with him* picture it in your head, Feel the ground. Your feet lifting you up, pushing you forward, and the lightning. Feel the lightning. Feel its power. Its electricity pumping through your veins. Crackling through you…traveling to every nerve in your body like a shock. You are no longer just you now, you’re a part of something greater
Barry, Bart, and Nora: you’re a part of the speed force.
Barry; It’s yours. Now take that energy you feel deep inside of you, focus it, harness it with everything you have, now and do it. Run. *speeds off towards the water*
*Bart and Nora follow him doing the same*
*George and Aidan grab Allana and Iris then follow*
*they all continue to run together until they see a bright sort of portal that appears as if it is made of multicolored lightning as they then all speed through that as fast as possible*
*The Speed force, in an area that appears to be Central city*
*the speedsters all speed out of the speed force portal into the speedforce as they see multicolored lightning everywhere, until they end up somewhere that appears to be central city*
Allana: whoa…so this is the speed force
Nora: yeah…isn’t it amazing…
Iris: it is…
*all of a sudden there is a strike of multicolored lightning at what appears to be a coffee shop right next to them named CC Jitters and a woman appears*
Speed Force Nora/The Speedforce: I’m glad you appreciate the beauty of my Plane, welcome, to the speed force
Iris in shock: JESUS FUCK, WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!
Speed Force Nora: you see I am the living embodiment of the SpeedForce, but in this form you may call me Nora, or Speed Force Nora to avoid confusion, Hello Iris Wood, it is great to meet you, as well as you Allana Weasley, and it is so great to see the rest of you again
Bart: What's up SFN!
Allana: it’s nice to meet you too Nora
Speed Force Nora: thank you all for coming, now if you’d like *gestures to a table outside of Jitters that suddenly has eight coffees on it* I have your favorite coffee orders
Iris: YES *they all go to the table and sit down*
Allana: Nora, I have to say, I am extremely grateful for what you’ve done for George, thank you, So much, from what I was told it’s because of you he’s alive right now so I deeply appreciate that thanks to you he’s not
Iris: yes, and I’m just as thankful for what you did for Aidan, from what I Heard his speed is part of why he lasted so long in hell, so I’m definitely appreciative of that Speed force Nora, thank you so much
Allana slowly: also side note if this meeting is so you could take their speed, could we maybe put a timer on that, for like midnight tonight
Iris slowly: or say… two a.m. tomorrow?
Speed Force Nora: *laughs softly* well you’ll be happy to know that I plan to do just the opposite
Aidan confused: what do you mean?
Speed Force Nora: I’ll get to that in a few moments, but first… *suddenly the tachyon enhancers are engulfed in lightning as they disappear off their chests* you won’t need those for the return trip
Nora: Uhh big Nora? What did you do with the tachyon enhancers??
Speed Force Nora: Don’t worry Little Nora, I just sent them to–
Morgan over comms: Guys?! Is Everything alright, we just re-established a connection and the Tachyon enhancers just appeared out of lightning on my workbench!! What the hell is going on
Speed Force Nora: –sent them back to their maker
Bart: Everything’s fine Morgan, SFN just sent them back saying we won’t need them for the return trip
Morgan over comms: I swear to god if the speed force broke my tachyon enhancers I WILL be testing if my speedster protocol can get me to the speedforce
Nora: *laughing* Oh boy…
Speed Force Nora: was that not the right thing to do?
Bart: If they’re broken, probably not
Speed Force Nora: …oh…well there is something else I’m afraid you can’t return with
George: oh yeah? What’s that?
Speed Force Nora: *snaps her fingers and suddenly Aidan and George suddenly are back in their normal clothes*
George: Oi! What happened to our speed suits!
Speed Force Nora: you see, those suits were made out of pure Speed Force energy, therefore making them unstable, you’ll be able to run back just fine as well as use your speed I promise, but as for new suits? I’d recommend talking to Francisco Ramon of Earth-Prime and Morgan Stark of this Earth, after all they did design the suits worn by Bart, Barry, and Nora so they may run freely and protect others
Aidan: we would do that, but since today’s our last day with our speed I don’t think that’s necessary
Speed Force Nora: it doesn’t have to be…that is if you don’t want it to be
George: …and that means?
Speed Force Nora: It means, you performed valiantly and very honorably, and I saw you two fighting during the battle for the multiverse, and while you may not have a speed force in your universe, I have my ways of checking on those who are connected through me, and I must say, I’ve seen you both show true kindness towards others, and because of that, if you’d like, I’d like to give you make you permanent speedsters
Everyone else: WHAT?!
Aidan: Y-You’re not kidding?!
Speed Force Nora: I’m not, but there are a couple of conditions, first, due to the fact that you’re not from this universe, about once a year you’ll need to come back to recharge your speed, and the Second, again because you’re not from the universe, you’ll need to take a binding oath in order for your powers to sustain, similar to those of the lanterns corps
George, Allana, and Aidan: the what?
Iris dryly: the Green Lanterns
Aidan: ohhhh…
Speed Force Nora: so, Aidan, George, what do you say?
Aidan and George: YES
Speed Force Nora: alright, now recite the following oath… When the days have become shrouded in darkness…
Aidan and George: When the days have become shrouded in darkness…
Speed Force Nora: … I will be there to bring forth the light…
Aidan and George: … I will be there to bring forth the light…
Speed Force Nora: …Be there when the hope is gone…
Aidan and George: …Be there when the hope is gone…
Speed Force Nora: …by the lightning coursing through my veins…
Aidan and George: …by the lightning coursing through my veins…
Speed Force Nora: …and the speed to me here given, I swear…
Aidan and George: …and the speed to me here given, I swear…
Speed Force Nora: …to run as fast as I can, to do whatever I can, to spread hope and joy to all!
Aidan and George: …to run as fast as I can, to do whatever I can, to spread hope and joy to all!
*suddenly Speed Force Nora’s Eyes glow with multiple colored lightning bolts*
George: hang on this won’t hurt as much as it did last time you struck us with lightning right?
Speed Force Nora: nope, but it might tingle a little *purple lightning comes out of her left hand and orange comes out of her right as it is drawn across the table to Aidan and George respectively and they’re both charged with speed force energy*
Aidan: *blinks for a second* whoa…you’re right, that did tingle
Speed Force Nora: now, that concludes our business, and you may leave if you wish, thank you, all of you for coming, but before you go, Nora, Bart, I have an important message for you two
Bart: really? What is it?
Speed Force Nora: *Frowning slightly* as you know I am connected to all true speedsters of good in this universe and when one falls, I feel that connection break…Years ago I felt that connection break with Wally West, but recently, i’ve felt it again, I don’t know how, but someone managed to figure out how to hide his connection, and recently It’s felt as if he’s been using my domain to send a message to someone, and I can sense it, he needs your help
Nora: oh my god…Wade wasn’t crazy this time…Uncle Wally’s actually alive
Speed Force Nora: he is
Bart: do you know where he is?!
Speed force nora: not specifically but I can sense that he’s somewhere in Los Angeles
Nora: oh my God, we need to find him, When we get back we’ll talk to Morgan and Lucifer and get a plan figured out
Speed Force Nora: yes, but be careful, I sense a darkness, one I haven’t felt in a very long time, I’m not sure why I’m sensing it yet, but be careful
Bart: we will, thank you SFN
Aidan; you ready to head back love?
Iris: ready when you are
George: what about you, ready for the run back?
Allana: *smirking* with you? Always
Speed Force Nora: best wishes to you all, now run speedsters, run
*all of the speedsters run off with Aidan and George holding Iris and Allana respectively*
BONUS SCENE
*meanwhile back in Morgan’s lab*
Morgan: Okay, so they seem to be intact…I guess I’m Not testing if the suit can take me to the speed force today…*snorts*
Hudson: *snorts weakly as he thinks, looking at the Diamond gun* …you said the gun worked?
Morgan: yep! If you want we can have Friday run diagnostics on it thanks to that chip you thought to have us put in
Hudson: *sighs* …alright, we can tell her I’m working with you
Morgan: are you sure?
Hudson: yeah, but first we need to be sure she won’t tell anyone but uncle A
Morgan: *thinking* …I think I know a way I can make sure of that…alright, I’ll call evelyn to one of the training rooms, but first, let’s make sure we get an empty one, follow me
*they both leave*
*inside a small empty training room*
Morgan: alright, this one’s empty, go stand by that wall over there *closes the door behind them* Jarvis?
J.A.R.V.I.S.: Yes Miss Stark? *appears in a blue hologram* when I say so, set up a holo wall right in front of Hudson
Jarvis: of course miss stark
Morgan: *holding a guncase* and let me know when Evelyn Tveit gets close to this room *pulls out a holocommunicator and calls Evelyn*
Evelyn Tveit over comms: hey Morgan, what’s going on
Morgan: I need you to meet me in training room 10-B, it’s important
Evelyn over comms: is everything alright?
Morgan: everything’s fine, but if you’re not busy right now, I need you to meet me here now
Evelyn: got it, I'm actually not too far from there, so I’ll be there soon *hangs up*
Morgan:alright, Hudson, when the holo wall goes up, make sure you stay still, and don't say anything until it comes down
Hudson: got it
*once evelyn is outside the room and knocks on the door*
Morgan: Jarvis, now!
*a holo wall goes up in front of hudson making it seem like he’s not there*
Morgan: *goes to the metal door and opens it* Hey Evelyn!
Evelyn: hey morgan, you said you needed to meet me
Morgan: yeah, come in
Evelyn: *walks in*
Morgan: *closes the door* Jarvis, lock the door
Jarvis: right away miss stark
Evelyn jokingly: locking the doors to one of the most soundproof rooms in the base aside from me and Aaron’s room, you’re not going to kill me, are you?
Morgan: I’m not, agent Diamond
Evelyn slowly: …how do you–
Morgan dryly: I’m a fellow spy remember? Also even if I wasn’t I’ve got General level clearance
Evelyn: okay, but WHY are you using my spy codename, I hardly EVER hear anyone call me that outside of missions or when I’m about to go on a mission
Morgan: because, I have something for you, since I became a General I’m allowed to know all of the spy names, even the ones people don’t know who are spies
Evelyn: You mean Like Agent Thunderbird?!
Morgan: yep, but back to the point, since I’m allowed to know who everyone is now, I was tasked with making customized spy guns for certain special agents, Jarvis, we need a table
*a table made of nanobots appears in the center of the room*
Morgan: thanks Jarvis, follow me *they go to the center of the room where she places the gun onto the table*
Evelyn: hang on, so are you saying that–
Morgan: you’re about to get your own customized gun? Yes I am
Evelyn; Oh FUCK YEAH, alright, so what kind of cool things can this thing do
Morgan: oh you’ll see *opens the case revealing the silver blaster type gun with two diamond blue buttons, and a diamond blue slider on the handle of the gun, and two special magazines* I present to you, the diamond gun
Evelyn: oh this is cool… *takes out the gun*
Morgan: there’s a third one of those magazines inside the gun already
Evelyn: *looking at the gun* …hang on, these magazines are completely sealed shut… *takes one of the spare magazines and shakes it by her ear* *slowly* …and it doesn’t sound like there are bullets in here*
Morgan: that’s because the diamond gun doesn’t take bullets
Evelyn confused: well what does it take then?
Morgan: …why don’t you go ahead and give it a few shots and find out for yourself
Evelyn: okay?
Morgan: Jarvis, give us two nano-foes
*a nanobot person forms*
Evelyn; alright, how do I use this thing
Morgan: press the blue button closest to you to take off the safety, then just pull the trigger
Evelyn: got it *aims the gun, turns off the safety, then fires the gun as a bright diamond is shot from the gun that goes through the nano-foe* WHOA!! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?! *runs over to the shining diamond on the ground and picks it up* is this…DIAMOND?! Morgan…DID YOU PUT DIAMONDS IN MY MAGAZINE?! *rushes back*
Morgan: not exactly, those magazines are basically mini-diamond makers, using pure carbon and a built in device to heat, pressure, cool, and cut it, each time you pull the trigger, on top of the gun there is a light, when it turns red that means you need to switch out the magazine to prevent the magazine to prevent the one inside from overheating, and before you ask, the carbon is self replenishing, you just need to give each magazine a 30 minute cool down after it reaches its limit before using it again
Evelyn: That’s amazing! Is there anything else I should know about the gun?
Morgan: well, the sliders on the handle is to change the size and sharpness of the diamond, the one on the left changes the size and the one on the right changes sharpness, and there’s an additional feature that I want you to try out, press the button further from you, then fire it into the sky–not directly up, fire it away from us
Evelyn excited to see this: okay… *presses the button and aims the gun forward and upward then fires it causing for a small blue orb is fired from the gun and it explodes in the air causing for tons of sharp diamonds to come raining down on the ground ahead of then* What was THAT?!
Morgan: the “diamonds in the sky” protocol I programed in
Evelyn: Morgan, you amazing genius of a woman, this thing is fucking AWESOME, Thank you SO much
Morgan: I appreciate the compliments and praise, but I’m not the one you should be thanking…
Evelyn: What do you mean Morgan? If you mean I should be thanking Luci for asking you to make the gun, I will later when I see him
Morgan: well, while you should probably still do that, I didn’t make the gun
Evelyn: what do you mean you didn’t make the gun? Who did then? Jax?
Morgan: No, I know I sometimes ask him to help me with certain projects, but this isn’t one of them, my intern made the gun
Evelyn: You have an Intern?? Since When?! I thought R&D was just you at the moment! Well you and occasionally Jax
Morgan: for a long time it has been, but a couple months ago I met and hired my intern, besides the programming for the gun, that work was all his
Evelyn: well damn…could you introduce me to him? I’d really like to thank him
Morgan: I can…but you need to promise me you won’t tell anyone who my intern is or that I have one, other than Aaron, you can tell him, but that’s it
Evelyn: What?! Why?!
Morgan: I can’t tell you exactly why yet, but if Lucifer or if other certain people find out both of us can get in serious trouble with Lucifer
Evelyn: …why? He’s not Nazi is he?!
Morgan: oh god no, he’s definitely not a Nazi
Evelyn: okay then… *in a joking voice* …I won’t tell anyone besides Aaron about your intern, happy?
Morgan: I’m serious Evelyn! I need you to swear to me you won’t say anything, on your parents names!
Evelyn: *goes silent for a minute as she pales slightly* …okay, this really must be serious…you know just as well as I how much a swear like that means to me with you having the same situation
Morgan: exactly, and you know because of that I don’t throw that around lightly
Evelyn: alright…*takes a breath* I swear on the names of my mother and my father I won’t tell anyone other than my husband about who your intern is or that you have one, unless you give me permission to…
Morgan: Alright, I guess we’re clear then…Jarvis you can drop the Holo-Wall!
*the holo-wall disappears revealing hudson*
Hudson nervously: Hey aunt Ev…
Evelyn in shock; I–You–WHAT?!
Morgan: oh boy, here we go
Evelyn: Hudson’s your intern?!
Morgan: yeah, he walked into the lab one day and helped me out with something while I was out for lunch and when I came back he had finished what I was working on, and after testing him, I found out the kid’s a tech and engineering genius, and us geniuses have to stick together, so I offered him the internship.
Hudson: and I’ve been working for her since, for the last couple months, and in addition to this she’s also been giving me extra science lessons to help me hone my skills…are you mad Aunt Ev?
Evelyn: …a little more upset that you didn’t tell me…
Hudson dryly: you’re saying you wouldn’t have told my mom if you knew
Evelyn slowly: …you’re not wrong…
Hudson: exactly, and if she found out, then High General Morningstar would find out, then me AND Morgan would be in trouble
Evelyn: *sighs dryly* you know if Robyn finds out about this and that me and Aaron know, she’ll kill us right?
Morgan: which is why you won’t tell her, besides, you swore on your parent’s names so you Can’t tell her
Evelyn under her breath: Shit… *looks at the gun in her hand and realizes* …you really made this gun Hudson?
Hudson: It's the first thing I’ve gotten to work on by myself. Well mostly, I needed Morgan’s help with the programming, but other than that I built and designed it myself!
Morgan: I told you, the kid’s a genius!
Evelyn: *jokingly* Well, I guess it’s better than that time you tried to sneak out with me on a mission…
Hudson: *snorts weakly* yeah…sorry again about that aunt Ev…
Evelyn; and knowing you, you’ll just find some other way to try to help the resistance at least with this you’ll be supervised…alright, I’m telling Aaron, but…*takes a breath and smiles softly* your secret is safe with us
Hudson: *grinning* really!
Evelyn: yeah, really, you have clearly a gift, it’d be a damn shame to let it go to waste
Hudson: *runs and hugs Evelyn* Thank you SO much aunt Ev!
Evelyn: you’re welcome, considering it thanks for this cool-ass gun you made for me, seriously this thing is AMAZING
Hudson: Really?!
Evelyn: yeah! And I’m glad you told me, because knowing that you’re the one who made this gun for me, that just makes it 10 times better
Hudson dryly: that was cheesy as hell you know that aunt ev?
Evelyn: yeah, but still not as cheesy as your uncle A
Hudson: yeah…fair enough
Evelyn: *snorts softly*
Notes:
That's right, Hudson's a genius, Evelyn's got a new gun, and most importantly, Aidan and George are permanent speedsters now! next chapter will be the first "Multiversal Check-In" and is a VERY important chapter for the future of this fic, so sit tight and stay tuned, until it releases, this has been a Padjake written story, now, Mischief Managed!
Chapter Text
*Grimmauld Place, 1998, May 16, Earth-6246*
Nicole “Nikki” Black: *sighs dryly as she’s walking in* I need sleeeeep…and fooooood… *slowly walking through the hallway into kitchen*
Kreacher (6246): *appears in the kitchen* Welcome home Mi–Lady Black, Lady Black is just in time Kreacher just prepared dinner *snaps his fingers and a hot plate of Spaghetti Bolognaise is on the kitchen table*
Nikki slowly: …this may be the extreme hunger and sleep deprivation talking but, Kreacher, it sounds like you’re being nice to me…
Kreacher innocently: why would Kreacher NOT be nice to Lady Black?
Nikki dryly: *having no patience because of sleep exhaustion* you’re a jerk to me almost every day, so why’re you being nice now? And remember, I’m married to Sirius now, so you can’t lie to me when I demand it
Kreacher semi-reluctant: …Kreacher understands how it feels to lose someone Kreacher cares about, and Kreacher is sorry for Lady Black’s loss…
Nikki: *realizes and smiles weakly* thank you Kreacher…that means a lot coming from you…*sits down and is about to eat when suddenly a breach opens up and she drops her fork and her eyes widen* no. Way.
Kreacher: *on reflex uses his magic to throw a plate at the breach*
Nikki: It’s alright Kreacher! It’s not dangerous! *under her breath* …I think…
Kreacher: …could lady black please tell Kreacher what’s going on??
Nikki: It's a long story, but if this is what I think this is, I need to go…Kreacher, I know you made me this amazing dinner, but do you think you could pack it up to go, and get me a coffee ready in my to-go cup?
Kreacher: right away Lady Black *uses his magic to put the pasta in a sort of container, and levitates an extra large coffee mug he had ready on the counter and transfers the coffee to an extra large to go mug which he levitates onto the table*
Nikki: thanks Kreacher…I mean it…Thank you *takes the container, her fork, and the travel mug full of coffee as she takes a sip*
Kreacher: it was not a problem lady Black
Nikki: …Kreacher, call me Nikki… but now, I have to settle some unfinished business, I’ll see you when I get back Kreacher, and if Sirius gets home before I do, tell him I’m fine and I’ll see him when I get home too
Kreacher: Kreacher will do so lady Black
Nikki: *takes a breath and walks through the breach*
*Meanwhile in, THE HALL OF UNIVERSES *
Oliver Queen/The Spectre/Green Arrow: *standing staring at the table sighs* and now things begin…
*two breaches open one with Cisco coming through and another with Aurora coming through and Another with Iris coming through*
Iris Wood(62406): Hey Oliver! Hey Aurora!
Aurora Malfoy-Black(111605): hey guys! It’s good to see you all, well, under better circumstances that is
Oliver: it is good to see the both of you as well
*Iris and Aurora both go to sit in their designated seats with Aurora sitting in the one with the emblem with the wand and gold lightsaber clashing, and iris sitting next to her in the chair with the emblem with her wand over the Weasley logo*
*just then Barry and Cisco both come through a breach*
Oliver: Barry, Cisco, good to see you could both join us
Barry Allen/The Flash(prime): Yeah, lucky for us we have a slow day in central city, which doesn’t happen often so…
Cisco/Vibe (prime): yeah, and I’m a boss at A.R.G.U.S. So I can call out of work whenever I want
Barry: Iris is already here? Great, there’s something I have to give to her from caitlin
Cisco: Which reminds me, I need the details of how that date went with Leo and I haven’t had time to call her so while we’re waiting, do you think you could fill me in?
Barry: *snorts softly* sure *goes over to Iris*
Cisco: Nice! *goes to his seat with the emblem with a blue breach on it*
Barry: *speeds over to Iris* sorry to interrupt you two, but Iris, Caitlin told me to give you this to give to Leo *pulls out a letter*
Iris: awww, she wrote him a love letter, how sweet! *takes it* I’ll make sure he gets it
Barry: thanks Iris
Iris: no problem Barry, he’s going to be so happy when he gets this
Barry: well, I’ll talk to you later, Cisco wants the details of the date so I have to go catch him up
Iris: *laughs softly* have fun with that then
Barry: *snorts* thanks *speeds to his seat with the flash logo right next to cisco’s*
*another breach opens with Brian and Dom walking through it both holding a case of beer*
Brian O’Connor (611381225): We brought Corona!
Cisco: Brian, Dom, I cannot stress this enough…you two are awesome
*lucifer breaches in with morgan as they see the beer*
Gen. Morgan Stark/Iron Maiden(X): oh HELL yes!!
H.Gen.Lucifer Morningstar/The Devil/Many other Nicknames(X): I thought you only drink on special occasions?
Morgan: Do you know how hard it is to get Corona beer on our earth?! This IS a special occasion
Oliver: *laughing* as much as I appreciate the gift, you do realize I can’t get drunk unless I allow it so
Lucifer: one doesn’t need to be able to get drunk to appreciate the taste of alcohol my friend
Dominic “Dom” Toretto (611381225): well said Lucifer, now tell me, what is your opinion of Corona
Lucifer: I mean I’ve always been more of a Liquor devil myself, favoring whiskey, but it’s not bad
Morgan: uhh, Corona is the best beer in the damn multiverse so don’t say that it’s just “not bad”
Dom: *laughs* I like you, you definitely know your alcohol, you’re getting first bottle once we get this into a cooler
Morgan: FUCK YEAH
Oliver: *snaps his fingers making a cooler full of ice appear* you two can put it in that if you’d like
Dom: thank you Oliver
*the two empty the boxes into the cooler after they both take a bottle, with Dom taking two bottles and handing one to morgan*
Morgan: you’re the best Dom! *goes to sit in her chair with an emblem with an arc reactor on it*
Lucifer: right, it’s good to see you all again, as usual *goes to sit in his seat with the emblem so the the white wings on it next to Morgan*
*brian and dom go to sit in the seats with the emblems with the Nissan Skyline GTR and Dodge Charger R/T badges on them respectively, across from Lucifer*
*just then three more breaches open up, one with Scott walking through one, Percy walking through one, and Kate walking through one*
Oliver: Scott, Percy, Kate it's great to see you all
Lucifer: hang on a second, Kate, not that it’s not great to see you but I thought Clint was supposed to be meeting us here today
Kate Bishop/Hawkeye (199999); he was, but he had family plans so he sent me in his place
Dom: I’m pretty sure everyone here can respect that
Scott Lang/Ant-Man (200000): yeah, it makes sense why he ditched
Perceus “Percy” Jackson (161015): I honestly should’ve said that and just sent Annabeth in my place, I’m telling you she’d be WAY better at this than I’ll be
Oliver: you’ll be fine Percy, just go have a seat
*Percy, Scott, and Kate all go sit down, Kate sitting in what would be Clint’s seat next to Lucifer, with the Hawkeye logo on it, Scott sitting next to her in the chair with the Ant-Man Logo on it, and Percy sitting in his chair two seats from Iris’ left side, at the chair with an emblem with riptide on it as another breach two breaches opening, one with Adelynn coming out the other with Charlotte coming out*
Adelynn Skywalker-Kenobi (111605): Sorry I’m running a bit late! Me and Obi-Wan had to put Jacen and Shmi down for their naps before I could leave
Charlotte Dameron (364): yeah, and I’ve been busy you know running the kriffing galaxy, so I tend to lose track of time
Oliver: you’re not Late, just go sit down, you’re both fine, if you want Dom and Brian brought beer, Charlotte I have a hunch you need one
Charlotte: I really do…but I’m pregnant…
Oliver: whichever one you grab I’ll make it non alcoholic
Charlotte: thanks Oliver! *goes to the cooler and grabs a beer then goes to sit down with adelynn in their respectives seats, Adelynn in the seat with the emblem with the pink lightsaber clashing with a wand right next to Aurora, and Charlotte in the seat next to Adelynn with the emblem with the turquoise lightsaber and the resistance logo*
*two more breaches open, one with Jaime coming through and the other with Sherloque coming through*
Jaime Reyes (4321); hey guys!
Det. Harrison “Sherloque” Wells (221): well hello there, Monsieur Queen, Monsieur Allen, Cisco, Everyone else
Oliver; hello Sherloque, Jaime, it’s good to see you again, how’s it feel being back on Earth-221 Sherloque?
Sherloque: it has been absolutely splendid Monsieur Queen, business has been good I’ve been getting many new cases, and I’ve even tracked down the love of my life, the Beautiful Madame Renee Aldler
Barry: That’s great Sherloque!
Sherloque: it really is Monsieur Allen, thank you
*Jaime and Sherloque both go to sit in their seats, Sherloque sitting in the seat next to percy with the magnifying glass on it, and Jaime sitting in the one with the blue beetle logo between Sherloque and Brian*
*two more breaches open with Harry (Wells), and Dick coming through
Dr. Harrison “Harry” Wells (2): Hello everyone
Richard “Dick” Grayson (89): Hey guys!
Cisco: Harry, Dick, it’s great to see you both!
Harry: it’s good to see you as well Ramon, Allen, how’s HR doing on Earth-Prime
Barry: He’s doing great, he’s actually been a big help to team flash
Harry: I mean, he’s a Wells, it’s kind of to be expected, I mean obviously he won’t be as much of a help as I was, but he’ll definitely be of some help
Cisco innocently: uh-huh, sure you say he won’t
*Harry rolls his eyes as he goes to sit down on the other side of Cisco in the seat with the S.T.A.R. Labs Logo, and Dick goes to sit in the chair next to Dom with the nightwing emblem*
Kate: How many people are coming to this thing??
Scott: well there’s eighteen of us total so we’re only two short right n–
*just then another breach opens and deadpool jumps through it*
Deadpool/Wade Wilson (infinity) brightly: Hey there sugar bears!
*Everyone groans except for Barry and Dick*
Oliver dully: Hello wade, go take your seat
Deadpool: *gasps* I can TAKE the seat! Why Thank you Ollie
Oliver dryly: you know what I meant
Deadpool: yeah, yeah I’m going, don’t get your panties in a bunch Ollie *goes to sit in his seat next to dick in the chair with the deadpool emblem*
Oliver dryly: don’t call me Ollie *sits down in the chair with the green arrowhead on it* thank you everyone for coming today–
Aurora: hang on Oliver, we’re still missing Nikki!
Oliver: …right, so about that…
Aurora: Where's Nikki?
Oliver: she’s still back at grimmauld place, Earth-6246…
Aurora: cool, I’ll just go to get her if you’d open a breach for me
Oliver: ….that won’t be necessary, I’ll open the breach for her, but…before she gets here, I’d like to say, I had to do what I did, and I didn’t have a choice
Lucifer slowly: what did you do?
Oliver: *frowning sadly*…it’ll make more sense once nikki gets here… *uses his powers to open a breach by her seat with and emblem with her wand and the weasley logo between Nikki and Percy*
Barry quietly to Oliver: what did you do??
Oliver quietly: I promise I’ll explain everything once nikki comes through
*suddenly a plate comes flying through the breach across the table and almost hits Cisco in the face but Barry uses his speed to catch it*
Cisco: WHOA–Thanks barr, but why the hell’s a plate flying out of a breach?!
Iris casually: that was Kreacher wasn’t it?
Oliver: *knowing because of his multiversal all-sight* Yes, yes it was
Iris bluntly: I don’t know what you did, but you fucked up, you do realize Kreacher has stabbed death eaters before with kitchen knives, right?
Oliver: if your point is that he can hurt me, he can’t unless I let it happen, which I wouldn’t
Iris innocently: no, I was just saying, Kreacher doesn’t fuck around
*as she says that Nikki walks through the breach holding a container of pasta, a travel mug of coffee, and a fork and she puts it down on the table by her seat as she calmly walks over to Oliver while glaring darkly at him in a sort of rage*
*silence*
Oliver: I know you must have a lot of questions Nikki, and I’d like to start out by saying I–
Nikki: *punches him as hard as she can in the face*
Oliver: *not even flinching just blinks for a second* I deserved that, I know, but–
Nikki: *punches him again then calmly walks back to her seat, opens her to-go container, and takes a bite of spaghetti while flipping him off*
Oliver: nice form, had I not been the spectre that probably would’ve done some damage
Dom: *Recognizing the look on her face realizes* …what happened?
Nikki with a mouthful of food: The bloody battle of Hogwarts happened…
*those who are harry potter fans or from wizarding earths all pale slightly knowing what she’s going through*
Lucifer: …the battle of hogwarts? Well hang on now, I thought the Nazis didn’t take over on your earths, why the bloody me would there be a battle at Hogwarts otherwise??
Aurora: in wizarding universes the Nazis may not have won, but from what I’ve heard in most, there’s two wizarding wars, thanks to the blood elitist death eaters who want to wipe out the muggleborns
Iris: and the Battle of hogwarts…was one of the worst battles in either war, ending the second war for good
Lucifer: right…but wait, why didn’t you come to one of our universes for help, or call one of us, with everything you did for us on earth-X during the battle for the multiverse, myself and more than a few others would’ve come right over to help, and I’m sure many others here would’ve–
Oliver: *with a nearly unnoticeable look of guilt* because she couldn’t…
Barry: *eyes widening realizing knowing his looks* …Ollie, don’t tell me…you didn’t…
Oliver: *nods sadly*
Barry: *paling* …You really let her go through that without help, you didn’t even give her a choice did you…
Oliver: I didn’t have a choice Barry, I had to
Nikki: *laughs weakly* didn’t have a choice? You sure have some bloody nerve saying you “HaD tO” No, You CHOSE TO. You CHOSE to cut me and Sirius off from the multiverse by disabling our SpecPhones and Extrapolators, you CHOSE to let us go through the next remainder of the wizarding war without help, AND YOU CHOSE TO NOT EVEN WARN US ABOUT WHAT WAS COMING!! AND IT WAS YOUR BLOODY CHOICE THAT CAUSED FOR US TO GO IN WITHOUT MULTIVERSAL BACKUP, WHEN WE COULD’VE ENDED THE WAR WITH IT!!! But INSTEAD, THANKS TO YOU, I LOST MY BLOODY YOUNGER BROTHER, AND ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS WENT INTO A BLOODY COMA FOR TWO WEEKS!!
Everyone in the room except for Barry and deadpool: YOU DID WHAT?!
Deadpool dryly: and you all think I’M an Asshole
Oliver: I DIDN’T HAVE A CHOICE!!!
Nikki pissed off: Oh That’s a load of BLOODY BULLSHIT, YOU’RE THE BLOODY ALL POWERFUL SPECTRE, THE MOST POWERFUL BEING IN THE MULTIVERSE, YOU CHOSE TO LET MY SUFFER, YOU SELFISH PIECE OF SHIT
Oliver: Selfish? You think I’M SELFISH?! Need I remind you, I GAVE UP BEING ABLE TO SEE MY FAMILY IN ORDER TO PROTECT THE DAMN MULTIVERSE!! And I get it! You’re Hurt! You just went losing your brother and it sucks! But believe me when I tell you I didn’t want you to have to go through that loss, but unfortunately, for the sake of your universe being around, you had to
Nikki: What the bloody hell are you on about?!
Oliver; There are certain events in certain universes, such as the results of the wizarding war, that have to happen and there’s no way around it–
Iris dryly: I’m sitting right here Oliver
Oliver: your universe is an outlier we’ve been over this
Iris dryly: isn’t Nikki’s?
Oliver: yes, but for different reasons, but that’s not what I meant, what I was going to say before you interrupted, that there are certain events in certain universes that have to happen without multiversal intervention, otherwise you’d risk the entire universe collapsing
Nikki pissed off: Oh BULLSHIT, You could’ve found a way! Instead, you know how I bet you’ve been spending your time since the battle for the multiverse, you’ve probably just been watching it on your TV in the multiversal bar while sitting on your lazy arse doing absolutely nothing! Did you have popcorn while you were watching my life fall apart? Hmmm? You selfish Bastard, again, you’re all powerful, you could’ve done something!
Oliver: …You think I just do nothing, right, and for those who think I’m in the wrong for what I had to do, let me show you what I do for my job *suddenly everyone there gets a vision of oliver blasting a green beam of light at some sort of squid-like creature*
Percy in the vision: What the Hell??
Oliver: I pulled you all into a vision
Adelynn: …what the Kark is that thing?!
Oliver: that thing is a species of flesh-eating alien that a man who went by the Red Death tried to sick a bunch of onto the multiverse *shows another vision of Oliver firing an arrow in the sky into a sort of portal then at sort of creature made of black goo with Barry watching*
Percy: who’s that??
Barry: Ramsey…
Oliver: Ramsey Rosso aka bloodwork, Barry last fought him a couple years ago on his birthday, it got so bad I had to get involved, because he nearly spread his bloodspores brainwashing the multiverse
Oliver: *finally shows a vision of the last time the universe leaders had all met at the end of multiversal nexus when Nikki and Oliver were saying goodbye*
Jaime: This is after the last meeting…
Nikki: *realizing* …you really didn’t want to do this did you?
Oliver darkly: *pulls them out of the vision* People think this job is the greatest job you can have because of all the power you have, but really, the job is a Living. Hell. I don’t get to see my kids, my sister, my wife…for her it’s been about…six years but for me, with all of the time traveling and multiverse hopping, it’s been an eternity…but I do it anyway, because if I didn’t, my kids wouldn’t even have futures for them waiting, so I gave up mine so they could have theirs…so everyone could have theirs…Nikki, I know you’re mad at me, and you likely will be for a long time, and that’s perfectly understandable, but you need to understand if I didn’t do what had to be done; you wouldn’t be here right now, your universe, the rest of your family, your friends, your husband…you would all be dead…
Nikki: …I’m not even sure how to respond to that…you’re right, I’m more than just mad at you, I’m bloody pissed at you, and I definitely will be for a while…but for the sake of my mental health… I’m going to TRY to forgive you…?
Oliver: And that is more than fair, and I appreciate that very much, thank you, Nikki…
Nikki: *takes a breath and takes a bite of food*
Oliver: by the way, I know you’ve been sleep depriving yourself so if you don’t mind…*snaps his fingers and suddenly Nikki isn’t sleep deprived*
Nikki: whoa…that feels weird…thanks I guess…also on the note of mental health, Lucifer, I haven’t forgotten about those cases you said you’d need help with, if you haven’t started them yet, I’m still willing to help
Lucifer: thank you Nikki, yes, I will gladly accept the help, but before we continue on with this meeting, Nikki, truly I am sorry for your loss, and since grief is one of my specialty fields as the Earth-X resistance therapist I’d like to offer you and your entire family grief therapy if you’d like, whatever time works best for you
Nikki: thank you Lucifer, that means a lot, and we could probably use it…how mu–
Lucifer: let me stop you right there, I refuse to accept any payment, for you therapy is free of any charge, or if you want since you’re helping me with some of my special cases you could consider that the payment if you’d like, you know, therapist to therapist
Nikki: *smiles softly* thanks Lucifer…so how are these meetings going to work anyway?
Sherloque: Finally someone asks, yes monsieur queen, what is the purpose for these meetings anyway, hmm?
Oliver: well, I suppose we go around and talk about how things our universes are doing
Nikki trying to joke: well I guess you can skip me then with what just happened!
Cisco: well then, earth prime’s doing fine
Barry: that goes for Central and Star city
Harry: same goes for Earth-2 and I have to say it feels GREAT to have S.T.A.R. labs back now that I’m back on my earth
Sherloque: same for me harry, with my detective agency, business is good
Iris: all’s good on my earth
Aurora: same for my earth
Adelynn: same for our coruscant
Charlotte; My universe has been fucking stressful, advice for everyone here, never try to lead a government, it fucking sucks
Oliver; as someone who was once a mayor I can agree with that
Charlotte: by the way, Adelynn, I meant to ask, how’s Ben doing?
Adelynn: he’s doing great, admittedly, it was a bit of a challenge explaining the multiverse shit to the council and why he’s here, more specifically master windu, but it’s been smooth sailing since then, and Oliver we did as you said and made sure to change Ben’s last name to avoid future issues, he’s now Ben Skywalker
Oliver: good
Percy: keeping things moving along, my universe is also good
Jaime: some weird bug thing almost destroyed my home city so that happened, but other than that my universe is fine
Dick: and considering I operate in Gotham, I can tell you that everything’s like how it always is in Gotham…
Morgan: bad?
Dick: …well…there are SOME good sides
Lucifer: please, if it’s anything like Gotham on our earth it’s an absolute shithole, you know on our earth, it has so much crime, it’s the one place on earth other than Atlantis that’s completely untouched by Nazis
Everyone else there: WHAT?!
Lucifer: I know, led my President Joker it’s one of only two free nations left on our Earth, you know we actually have a running alliance with them, worst case scenario they become our last resort home base
Dick: PRESIDENT JOKER?!
Lucifer: I know he’s a madman, but at least he’s not a Nazi Madman, and to be fair we don’t have really many Allies outside of the resistance at this point so you know what they say about beggars being choosers
Dick: You really do live on the worst earth…
Oliver: …maybe let’s move on…Brian, Dom, do you want to go next
Dom: things have actually been really peaceful on our earth for once
Morgan: Must be nice…*takes a sip of beer* as for Earth-X…I think you all know the answer…
Deadpool: yeah, we get it sugarbear, it sucks, and as for Earth-Infinity well–
*all of a sudden a sort of purple smoke that starts flooding the room*
Oliver: What the Hell?!
???: I am the Terror that flaps in the night…
*they all see a shadowy figure in a purple cloak as the smoke starts to thin*
Barry: Oliver, is this you??
Oliver dryly: No this isn’t me doing this!
Adelynn dryly: don’t you have control over this place! No one should be able to get in without you knowing
Oliver: I know! *suits up and draws his bow*
???: … I am the mischief that must be managed…
Aurora slowly: …hang on, where’s this going…
???: I AM… *suddenly the smoke clears as they all see a tall darker skinned man with brown eyes, standing on the table in a purple cloak* DARKWING DUCK…
*suddenly everyone there stands up draws their weapons, jedi pulling out their lightsabers, percy pulling out riptide, Jaime and Morgan Suiting up, Kate readying her bow, Brian and Dom pulling out their guns, and wizards pulling out wands*
???: Really? No one? With the purple smoke, and color scheme? Did no one here grow up in the 90s or early 2000s with disney?! *sighs*
Iris: …wasn’t Darkwing Duck a cartoon character in an old Disney show?
???: THANK YOU, YES, man, this was supposed to be my big reveal and I fucking blew it! All because of the stupid writer, FUCK YOU JACOB
Deadpool: *holding a sword* YOU!! YOU’RE THE GUY ME, FREEZER BURN, THE CAJUN, AND ROBIN HOOD IN TIGHTS MET IN THE SECOND BATTLE FOR THE MULTIVERSE
???: oh hey! How you doin’ wadsey! Good to see you again!
Oliver: Deadpool?! Do you know this man?!
Deadpool: not really, we met briefly when I was fighting for my life against the fucking Nazis
???: *sighs* man, I wanted to do a dramatic entrance but Nooooo… I get stuck having to do the explanation, DAMN YOU EXPOSITION
Oliver: just who are you and how the hell did you get in here
???: okay, first off, weapons away *snaps his finger and there a sort of purple particles are emitted as everyone’s weapon’s are suddenly put away, including morgan’s armor* and second, I’m the Anti-Spectre, but you all can call me… STEVE… *the name echos*
Cisco: …The Anti-Spectre? *standing down* …are we married to that name or…
Oliver in his spectre voice: CISCO
Cisco: right, sorry, not the time got it
Iris: hang on, you’re supposed to be what? Some kind of supervillain, and your name is steve? Just Steve? You should really look into getting that changed
Oliver in his spectre voice: IRIS
Iris: sorry…
Oliver: …How Did you Get in here?!
Steve /Anti-Spectre: by doing this *magically teleports around the room leaving behind a sort of purple particle in his place until he’s back on the table* …also I’m not a supervillain
Oliver: That shouldn’t be possible!
Steve
: oh, but it is Ollie, let me explain…does the name Mar Novu mean anything to you?
Oliver: The Monitor?
Steve : So you know how when the monitor became the monitor he inadvertently created his opposite, the Anti-Monitor?
Oliver: yes
Steve: well what your buddy Jim didn’t tell you when you became the spectre, is that like there was a Monitor and an Anti-Monitor, There was a Spectre, and an Anti-Spectre, When Jimmy gave you his powers to bring back the multiverse, the Old Anti-Spectre gave me his powers, to be your opposite, to cause chaos
Oliver: I’ve heard enough *uses his powers to summon another bow and fires a special spectral arrow at him*
Steve: *snaps his fingers using his powers to turn his arrow into a key lime pie which he turns on Oliver as it hits him the face*
*all of the pranksters in the room start laughing*
Oliver: *wipes the pie off of his face* ENOUGH!!! *uses his powers to create a large beam of green light which he fires at steve *
Steve
: *creates a purple energy shield that cancels out the beam*
Oliver: How are you doing this?!
Steve: *gets rid of the shield* Like I said, I’m your opposite, my powers cancel out yours and vice versa, so if I wanted to…*transforms himself to look like Steve Rogers/Captain America* I could do this all day *transforms himself back* look, would it help if I wore my normal clothes? *snaps his fingers as the cloak disappears into a purple denim jacket over a Poison band shirt, and black track pants, revealing his long brown hair* Better? Don’t worry I won’t be as bad as the last Anti-Spectre, I don’t plan to destroy the multiverse,
Oliver: Really? But you just said your job is to cause chaos in the multiverse
Steve : yeah, and I do that using one of the few things I remember from before I became the Anti-Spectre…I prank
All of the Prankster in the room: YES!!
Deadpool: I already like him!
Steve : See! I’m not evil, I just travel the multiverse doing whatever I want, well, mostly…
Oliver: back up a minute you said one of the few things you remember before you became the Anti-Spectre, I still have all of my memories from before I became the spectre, so what the hell are you talking about?
Steve : I mean while our powers are basically the same, one of the things that makes me your opposite, is when I became the Anti-Spectre, I lost all memories of my past life, except for my first name, personality, the fact I liked pranks, music, was some kind of latino, and my age
Oliver: About that, you look REALLY young. How old are you anyway?
Steve : how long has it been for me since I took the job, or how old was I before I took the job
Oliver: the second one, because if your powers really are the same as mine, you stopped aging the moment you gained the powers
Steve : twenty one
Oliver: YOU’RE ONLY TWENTY?!
Steve : yep, well, I was twenty one when I stopped aging, but it’s fine, I have a lot of fun as the Anti-Spectre
Oliver: …alright, so why the hell are you here then? Why now?
Steve : Because, the writer wanted to finally introduce me in this chapter, but don’t worry I’m fully caught up, by the way, Nikki, what’s your favorite pie?
Nikki: …if this is a set up for some pie related prank–
Steve : no, I promise you it’s not…this time…
Nikki: okay then…? Chocolate Cream
Steve : *snaps his fingers and a purple particle is emitted, then in a flash of purple light suddenly, next to Nikki’s dinner there is a chocolate cream pie* This is condolence chocolate cream pie, I’ve watched all the harry potter movies and read all the books, and even if I hadn’t I’ve also read the rest of this chapter up till now so I know about your brother, and I’m sorry
Nikki surprised: …huh…well, thanks for the pie, and your condolence… *blanking on the name*…Steve?
Steve: Yes, that’s right
Cisco: so what’s with the purple particles we keep seeing when you use your powers
Steve : Negative Spectral Particles, the opposite of Oliver’s Spectral Particles
Cisco: right…what about the Negi-spectre as your name? Actually scratch that, that name sucks
Steve: Sorry, Anti-Spectre is a legacy name, meaning–
Dick: …meaning you can’t change it, as someone who was the first to use a legacy name I get that
Deadpool teasingly: yeah, you would, OG boy in green booty shorts
Dick dryly: shut it Wade
Iris: So you just go across the multiverse, pranking people, and doing whatever the hell you want?
Steve : don’t worry, I do have rules that I can’t break if that’s what you’re asking, so like Ollie here I can’t see my family, only it’s worse because in my case I don’t even remember them…let’s see what else…I can’t get too involved with wars unless they’re multiversal, Sorry to the Earth-X people, Nazis suck, i’d totally help with that if I could…I can’t bring back the dead unless Ollie digs up some prophecy saying I do, and I can’t make others immortal unless it’s because I’m making someone else the Anti-Spectre
Oliver: hmm…maybe you’re not lying here after all
Steve : THANK YOU
Oliver: So why’re you really here then?
Steve : really just to make myself known, that I exist, so if you see me don’t freak the fuck out, because odds are because plot bullshit or just random bullshit I’m going to end up a lot more involved, and by the way before I go…*uses his powers and suddenly everyone at that table had a purple cell phone* these Anti-SpecPhones work as ways to contact me, better than the burners Old Man Oliver gave you, but not by much
Oliver: EXCUSE ME?!
Steve innocently: You’re excused, but back to what I was saying, at least they’re cell phones, but at the moment you can only use them to call me if you need me for anything sorry about that, but before I go, I’d like to give one last piece of proof as to who I am, and the power I have, now I believe there were a lot of people in this room who like musicals?
Morgan: Oh GOD Don’t tell me you’re going to–
Steve: Yep! It’s SHOWTIME! *out of nowhere pulls out a purple top hat and throws it in the air then snaps his fingers*
*suddenly on a dark stage*
Kate: *suddenly wearing a suit and bowtie with a top hat* oh this is going to be fun! …wait where’d everyone go? And why am I wearing a suit and top hat? *suddenly a spotlight hits her as the area around her turns into a sort of penthouse balcony* what the–*suddenly It’s over, isn't it by steven universe feat. Deedee Magano Hall starts playing* ohh… okay this makes sense now…and I love this song! *gets ready as she’s suddenly holding a rose* … I was fine, with the men…who would come into her life now and again, I was fine, ‘cause I knew, that they didn’t really matter, until you, *as she walks closer toward the outside of the balcony and does a pirouette* I was fine, when you came, and we fought like it was all some silly game *looking into the distance at what appears to be the view of a city at night* over her, who she’d choose, after all those years, I never thought I’d lose… *rolls the hat off her head down her arm into her left hand* It’s over, isn’t it, isn’t it, Isn’t it over…it’s over, isn’t it? isn’t it? ISN’T IT OVER? You won, and she chose you, and she loved you and she’s gone, it’s over isn’t it why can’t I move on *jumps onto the glass rail of the balcony as she puts the hat back onto her head* War and Glory, reinvention *glaring at the rose in her hand then starts using it as if it was a sword and she was imitating a fencing duel while on the glass rail* Fusion, freedom, her attention *spins around going the other way, pointing the rose ahead of her then starts slowly walking forward on the edge of the glass rail* out in daylight my potential, BOLD, Precise, Experimental *backflips remaining on the glass as she continues dancing gracefully finishing with a split as she then lies back on the edge of the glass holding both the rose and top hat in her hand* who am I know in this world without her, *looking to the nightsky* Petty and dull with the nerve to doubt her, What does it matter? it’s already done, now I’ve got to be there for her SON…*gets off the rail back onto the balcony floor* It’s over isn’t it, isn’t it, isn’t it over, it’s over iiiisn’t it, iiisn’t it, ISN’T IT OVER, you’ve won,and she chose you, and she loved you and She’s GOOOONE *throws the rose into the air* It’s over isn’t it? why can’t I move on…It’s over isn’t it? Why can’t I move ooooonnnn…*the song appears as the stage turns back to normal back into a stage* That was fun! So what’s–*in a puff of purple smoke she’s gone from the stage, and Lucifer and Morgan have taken her place*
Lucifer: another musical number? Oh this’ll be fun…
Morgan: *suddenly wearing a long red dress* What the hell?! Why am I wearing a dress?!
Lucifer: we’re obviously about to be in a musical number, that’s why, honestly, keep up morgan, you saw kates from whatever limbo we were in
Morgan: *groans* I know everyone can hear me, NOBODY OUTSIDE OF THIS GROUP CAN FIND OUT ABOUT THIS YOU ALL HERE ME, I AM NOT AFRAID TO BLAST SOMEONE…alright, now that that’s covered, what song are we doing
*suddenly the surrounding area changes to appear as if they are in a sort of nightclub*
Morgan; where are we?
Lucifer: hang on…it is…this is LUX!!
Morgan: this is the nightclub you used to run?!
Lucifer: well, it definitely didn’t look this modern, although I do like the look…
Steve :*as a disembodied voice* this is what it looks like on most earths, your welcome for the interior decorating ideas
Lucifer; right… alright, let’s get started then shall we?
*
I will Survive
(Tom Ellis & Skye Townsend ver.) starts playing*
Morgan: well at least it’s a song I like…*suddenly she’s holding a microphone*
At first I was afraid, I was petrified, kept thinking I could never live without you by my side, then I spent so many nights, thinking about how you did me wrong, then I grew strong, I learned how to get along…And now you’re back, from outer space, *circling lucifer* I’ve just walked in to see that sad look across your face, should’ve changed that stupid lock, I should’ve made you leave your key, If I'd have known for just one second you'd be back to bother me
Lucifer: *takes the microphone from her* Go on now go! Walk out the door, Just turn around now, 'cause you're not welcome anymore…Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye? Did you think I'd crumble, hm? Did you think I'd lay down and die?
Morgan and Lucifer: OH NO NOT I
Morgan: *takes the microphone back as she’s going around the room pleasing a club full of “people” with her singing* I will survive, Oh, as long as I know how to love, I know I'm still alive
Lucifer: *following her takes back the mic* I've got all my life to live, and I've got all my love to give, And I'll survive
Morgan and Lucifer: *as morgan’s struggling to take back the mic* I will survive, hey hey
Morgan: *as she takes it from him* 'Cause you're not welcome anymore, Weren't you the one who tried to break me with goodbye? Did you think I'd crumble?
Morgan and Lucifer: *as Lucifer now suddenly has a microphone of his own* Did you think I’d lay down and die! *the two then start dancing together* Oh no, not I, I will survive, Oh, as long as I know how to love, I know I'm still alive, I've got all my life to live, and I've got all my love to give, And I'll survive, I will surviiiiiiiiive, hey hey!
*The song ends as the stage turns back into a dark stage*
Lucifer: okay, I know you didn’t want to do this, but even YOU have to admit that was fun
Morgan: …okay, it was, BUT NOBODY FINDS OUT ABOUT–
*as she says that her and lucifer disappear off the stage only for Aurora, Adelynn, Charlotte, Nikki, Cisco, Harry, Sherloque, and Dick to take their place*
Aurora: okay, this should be fun
Cisco: you know i’ve always wondered what it’d be like to be in a musical
Harry: I would be perfectly fine NOT knowing, STEVE YOU GET ME OUT OF HERE OR SO HELP ME I WILL–
Steve : *as a disembodied voice* okay, considering it’s kind of funny how mad you’re getting over this I’m going to say no?
*suddenly they’re all dressed as if they’re in the american revolution era and the stage around them changes to look like the stage in the opening scene of hamilton*
Nikki: What the hell am I wearing?!?!
Aurora: yeah, this feels kind of weird…
Dick: *realizing* …well this was definitely a bold choice for three people who were from twenty to thirty years before the musical came out, and two people from space
Charlotte: hang on…this is that weird holo-drama hamilton right? The one about the made up revolutionary war that takes place in a weird primitive far away land called America, where they broke free from an evil tyrant king from another primitive far away land called Britain?
Dick: I spoke too soon, but those primitive lands are actually where most of us are front from
Adelynn: Hamilton?
Charlotte: oh… I guess you don’t have that yet
Sherloque: oh, I love this play, I’m guessing I’m lafayette for obvious reasons
Dick: how are we supposed to do this if half of us don’t know–
* Alexander Hamilton by the original cast of Hamilton*
Adelynn: How does a bastard, orphan, son of a whore and a, Scotsman, dropped in the middle of a forgotten Spot in the Caribbean by providence, impoverished, in squalor Grow up to be a hero and a scholar?
Nikki: The ten-dollar Founding Father without a father, Got a lot farther by working a lot harder, By being a lot smarter, By being a self-starter, By fourteen, they placed him in charge of a trading charter
Charlotte: And every day while slaves were being slaughtered and carted Away across the waves, he struggled and kept his guard up , Inside, he was longing for something to be a part of The brother was ready to beg, steal, borrow, or barter
Harry: Then a hurricane came, and devastation reigned, Our man saw his future drip, dripping down the drain, Put a pencil to his temple, connected it to his brain, And he wrote his first refrain, a testament to his pain
Adelynn: Well, the word got around, they said, “This kid is insane, man” Took up a collection just to send him to the mainland “Get your education, don't forget from whence you came, and The world's gonna know your name. What's your name, man?”
Cisco: Alexander Hamilton, My name is Alexander Hamilton, And there's a million things I haven't done, But just you wait, just you wait…
Aurora: When he was ten his father split, full of it, debt-ridden, Two years later, see Alex and his mother bed-ridden, Half-dead sittin' in their own sick, the scent thick
Everyone but Cisco: And Alex got better but his mother went quick
Dick: Moved in with a cousin, the cousin committed suicide, Left him with nothin' but ruined pride, something new inside, A voice saying
Everyone: “Alex, you gotta fend for yourself.”
Dick: He started retreatin' and readin' every treatise on the shelf
Adelynn: There would have been nothin' left to do, For someone less astute, He woulda been dead or destitute, Without a cent of restitution Started workin', clerkin' for his late mother's landlord Tradin' sugar cane and rum and all the things he can't afford Scammin' for every book he can get his hands on Plannin' for the future see him now as he stands on The bow of a ship headed for a new land, In New York you can be a new man
Everyone but Cisco: In New York you can be a new man
Cisco: Just you wait…
Everyone but Cisco: In New York you can be a new man
Cisco: Just you wait…
Everyone but Cisco: Everyone but Cisco: In New York you can be a new man
Cisco: Just you wait…
All the women: IN NEW YORK
All the men but cisco: NEW YORK
Cisco: JUST YOU WAIT!
Everyone but Cisco: Alexander Hamilton, Alexander Hamilton, We are waiting in the wings for you, waiting in the wings for you, You could never back down, You never learned to take your time! Oh, Alexander Hamilton, Alexander Hamilton, When America sings for you Will they know what you overcame? Will they know you rewrote the game?
The world will never be the saaaame, oh
Adelynn: The ship is in the harbor now, See if you can spot him
All off the men besides cisco: Just you wait
Adelynn: Another immigrant, Comin' up from the bottom
Everyone but Cisco: Just you wait
Adelynn: His enemies destroyed his rep, America forgot him
Charlotte, Sherloque, and Harry: We fought with him
Nikki: Me? I died for him
Dick: Me? I trusted him
Aurora: Me? I loved him
Adelynn: And me? I'm the damn fool that shot him
Everyone: There's a million things I haven't done…But just you waaaaait!
Adelynn: What's your name, man?
Everyone: Alexander Hamilton!
*the song ends*
Adelynn: …okay, one, That was awesome, two, how did I do that
Aurora: I’d also like to know that because, until now I’ve never heard this song before
Steve : *disembodied voice* the perks of being nearly all-powerful, I can help people out when they don’t know what to do, not in a mind controlly way, more in a mind suggestive way so you know what to do, I mean I’ve kind of been doing that with everyone…except for Kate and Lucifer…well for the most part with Lucifer
Nikki: huh…
*the stage goes back to a normal empty dark stage, everyone’s in normal clothes, and all of a sudden in a puff of smoke everyone who’s on the stage is off, replaced by
Iris, Percy, Scott, and Jaime*
Iris: okay, please give us something good here
Percy: Let’s see, four people…what song could we end up getting
Steve : *disembodied voice* listen, I’d like to apologize in advance Percy, I know you’re in a deeply committed relationship with Annabeth and Iris same to you with Aidan, and Scott with hope, but the writer threw this whole extra musical scene together as a last minute extra birthday gift to his friend, who was the only actual reader he had who’d made it this far in the series as of originally writing this, so… he figured he’d better put one of her favorite songs on here…
Scott: …should we be concerned about this?
Iris: probably not…
*Suddenly the stage looks like the stage of Moulin Rouge! Iris is dressed as Satine, Jaime like Zidler, Scott like the Duke, and Percy like Christian*
Iris:*realizing what song they’re doing*…okay you two are fine,*gesturing to Jaime and Scott* as long as no one tells Victoire I got to wear this I’ll be fine, but Percy… you’re going to be PISSED after this
Percy: why? I like most songs, and this costume actually looks kind of cool…
Iris: …do you know the musical moulin rouge?
Percy: no?
Iris: …oh boy…
* El Tango de Roxanne Starts playing by Aaron Tveit*
Percy: Roxanne
Jaime: Word to the wise, my dear, Never fall in love with a woman who sells herself, It always ends badly
Percy: His eyes upon your face, His hand upon your hand, His lips caress your skin, It's more than I can staaaaand, Roxanne, You don't have to wear that dress tonight , Walk these streets for money, You don't care if it's wrong or if it is right, Roxanne, You don't have to put on the red light, Roxanne, You don't have to put on the red light
Jaime and Scott: Roxanne!
Percy: put on the red light!
Jaime and Scott: Roxanne!
Percy: put on the red light!
Jaime and Scott: Roxanne!
Percy: put on the red light!
Jaime and Scott: Roxanne!
Percy: put on the red light!
Jaime and Scott: Roxanne!
Percy: put on the red light!
Jaime and Scott: Roxanne!
Percy: put on the red light!
Scott: I am André Dacor Benicieux, le Duc de Monroth You will reject the boy! Shatter him! You will break his heart!
Jaime and Scott: Roxanne!
Percy: put on the red light!
Jaime and Scott: Roxanne!
Percy: put on the red light!
Jaime and Scott: Roxanne!
Percy: put on the red light!
Jaime and Scott: Roxanne!
Percy: put on the red light! Help me I’m holding on for dear life
Jaime and Scott: Roxanne!
Percy: Help me I’m holding on for dear life
Jaime and Scott: Roxanne!
Percy: Whyyyyy does my heeeeeart cryyyy, feeeeeling I-I-I can’t fight? You’re free to leave me, but just don’t deceive me, and, please, believe me when I say, I LOVE YOUUUU
Iris: You mean nothing to me, I feel nothing for you, you. are. nothing…
*the song ends as the stage goes back to how it was before and they’re all back in their normal clothes*
Scott: okay, that was kind of fun
Jaime: yeah! —uh, why does Percy look like he wants to murder
Percy: that son of a bitch just made me sing a love song to someone who’s not Annabeth… NEXT TIME YOU PULL THAT SHIT ITS ON SIGHT DO YOU HEAR ME STEVE * uncaps riptide* DO YOU HEAR ME
Iris: Now might be a good time to cue the next act I think…
Steve: *disembodied voice* agreed…
*suddenly they’re all gone only for Barry to be in their place in a puff of smoke*
Barry: alright, I guess I get a solo then…you know this is the third time I’ve been trapped in a musical, and I have to say…honestly it’s kind of fun, so what song am I doing Steve?
*the stage changes to appear as if he’s in his and Iris (West-Allen)’s loft as Runnin’ home to you by grant gustin starts playing*
Barry; okay, a little on the nose, but I’ll go with it, I love this song, it is my wedding song after all… Can't say how the days will unfold, Can't change what the future may hold, But, I want you in it, Every hour, every minute…This world can race by far too fast, Hard to see while it's all flying past, But, it's clear now, When you're standing here now, I am meant to be wherever you are next to me… All I want to do, Is come running home to you, Come running home to yooooouuuu, And all my life I promise to, Keep running home to you, Keep running home, To you…And I could see it, Right from the start, Right from the start, That you would be, Be my light in the dark, Light in the dark, Oh, you GAVE me no other choice, But to love you…All I want to do, Is come running home to you, Come running home to yoooouuuu, And all my life I promise to,Keep running home to you, Keep running home, Home to youuuu…Can't say how the days will unfold…Can't change what the future may hold…But, I want you in it…Every hour, every minute
*the song ends*
Barry: Well that was nice, you can send the next person up!
*he’s gone and In the expected puff of smoke Dom, Brian, and Deadpool take his place*
Steve: Alright, Dom, Brian, you guys might appreciate this next song in the list, and Wadsey you definitely will since you chose the song
*the stage changes to look like a club from the 70s*
Brian: Okay so we’re kicking it old school, I can get behind that…what’s the song? Also How did you suggest a song?!?!
Deadpool: you’ll see, but I’m telling you, it’s not Abba or some shit like that, because there’s no way Mr. *Mimicking dom’s voice* FAMILYYYY… can handle singing fucking abba, ALSO STOP CALLING ME WADSEY STEVE
* rapper’s delight by the sugarhill gang starts playing*
Dom rapping: I said a hip-hop, the hippie, the hippie, To the hip, hip-hop and you don't stop the rockin' To the bang-bang boogie, say up jump the boogie, To the rhythm of the boogie, the beat, Now, what you hear is not a test, I'm rapping to the beat, And me, the groove, and my friends are gonna try to move your feet, You see, I am Wonder Mike and I'd like to say hello, A to the black, to the white, the red and the brown, the purple and yellow, But first, I gotta bang-bang the boogie to the boogie, Say up jump the boogie to the bang-bang boogie, Let's rock, you don't stop, Rock the rhythm that'll make your body rock, Well so far you've heard my voice, a but I brought two friends along, And next on the mic is my man Hank, come on, Hank, sing that song
Deadpool rapping: Well I’m imp the dimp, the ladies pimp, the women fight for my delight, but I’m the grandmaster with the three MCs that shock the house for the young ladies, and when you come inside, into the front, you do the freak, spank and do the bump, and when the sucka MCs try to prove a point we’re treacherous trip, we’re the serious joint, we’re the serious joint, and from sun to sun, and from day to day, I sit down and write a brand new rhyme, because they say that miracles never cease, I’ve created a devastating masterpiece, I’m gonna rock the mic ‘til you can’t resist, Everybody, I say it goes like this, Everybody, I say it goes like this
Well, I was coming home late one dark afternoon, Reporter stopped me for a interview, She said she's heard stories and she's heard fables, That I'm vicious on the mic and the turntables
This young reporter, I did adore, So I rocked a vicious rhyme like I never did before, She said, "Damn, fly guy, I'm in love with you, The Casanova legend must have been true" I said, "By the way, baby, what's your name?" Said "I go by the name Lois Lane" And you could be my boyfriend, you surely can, Just let me quit my boyfriend called Superman, I said, "He's a fairy, I do suppose, Flying through the air in pantyhose, He may be very sexy or even cute, But he looks like a sucker in a blue and red suit" I said, "You need a man who's got finesse, And his whole name across his chest, He may be able to fly all through the night, But can he rock a party 'til the early light? He can't satisfy you with his little worm, But I can bust you out with my super sperm" I go do it, I go do it, I go do it, do it, do it, An' I'm here and I'm there, I'm Big Bank Hank, I'm everywhere, A just throw your hands up in the air, And party hardy like you just don't care, Let's do it, a don't stop, y'all, a tick a tock, y'all, you don't stop, It go, "Hotel, motel, a what you gonna do today?" 'Cause I'm gon' get a fly girl, gonna get some spank and drive off in a def OJ, Everybody go, "Hotel, motel, Holiday Inn" You see, if your girl starts acting up, then you take her friend, I say skip, dive, what can I say? I can't fit 'em all inside my OJ, So I just take half and bust them out, I give the rest to Master Gee so he could shock the house
Brian rapping: I said a M-A-S, a T-E-R, a G with a double E, I said I go by the unforgettable name of the man they call the Master Gee, Well, my name is known all over the world, By all the foxy ladies and the pretty girls, I'm going down in history, As the baddest rapper there ever could be Now I'm feeling the highs and you're feeling the lows The beat starts getting into your toes You start popping your fingers and stomping your feet, And moving your body while you're sitting in your seat, And then damn, you start doing the freak, I said damn, a right outta your seat, Then you throw your hands high in the air, You're rocking to the rhythm, shake your derriere, You're rocking to the beat without a care, With the sure-shot MCs for the affair, Now, I'm not as tall as the rest of the gang, But I rap to the beat just the same, I got a little face and a pair of brown eyes, All I'm here to do ladies is hypnotize, Singing on and on and on, on and on, The beat don't stop until the break of dawn, A singing on and on and on, on and on, Like a hot ready to pop the pop the pop dibbie dibbie, Pop the pop, pop, you don't dare stop, A come alive, y'all gimme what you got, I guess by now you can take a hunch, And find that I am the baby of the bunch, But that's okay, I still keep in stride' Cause all I'm here to do is just a wiggle your behind, Singing on and on and on, on and on, The beat don't stop until the break of dawn, A singing on and on and on, on and on, Rock-rock, y'all, a get on the floor I'm gonna freak ya here, I'm gonna freak you there, I'm gonna move you outta this atmosphere, 'Cause I'm one of a kind and I'll shock your mind, I'll put the jig-jig-jiggles in your behind, I said a 1-2-3-4, come on, girls, a get on the floor, A come alive, y'all, a gimme what ya got, 'Cause I'm guaranteed to make you rock, I said 1-2-3-4, tell me Wonder Mike what are you waiting for?
Dom: Said a hip-hop, the hippie to the hippie, The hip, hip-a-hop and you don't stop rockin', To the bang-bang, the boogie, say up jump the boogie, To the rhythm of the boogie, the beat, A-skiddlee bebop, we rock a scooby doo, And guess what, America, we love you, A 'cause ya rock and a roll with a so much soul, You could rock 'til you're hundred and one years old, I don't mean to brag, I don't mean to boast, But we're like hot butter on a breakfast toast, We rock it up, a baby bubba, Baby bubba to the boogie, the bang-bang, the boogie, To the beat, beat, it's so unique, Come on, everybody, and dance to the beat…A hip-hop, the hippie, the hippie, To the hip, hip-hop and you don't stop, A rock it out, baby bubba, to the boogie, the bang-bang, The boogie to the boogie, the beat, Have you ever went over a friend's house to eat, And the food just ain't no good? I mean the macaroni's soggy, the peas are mushed, And the chicken tastes like wood, A so you try to play it off like you think you can By saying that you're full, And then your friend says, "Mama, he's just being polite, He ain't finished, uh-uh, that's bull" A so your heart starts pumping and you think of a lie, And you say that you already ate, And your friend says, "Man, there's plenty of food" So you pile some more on your plate, But while the stinky food's steaming, your mind starts to dreaming, Of the moment that it's time to leave ,And then you look at your plate and your chicken's slowly rotting, Into something that looks like cheese, Oh, so you say that's it, I got to leave this place, I don't care what these people think, I'm just sitting here making myself nauseous With this ugly food that stinks, Oh, so you bust out the door while it's still closed, Still sick from the food you ate, And then you run to the store for quick relief, From a bottle of Kaopectate, And then you call your friend a two weeks later, To see how he has been And he says "I understand about the food, Baby bubba, but we're still friends" A with a hip-hop, the hippie to the hippie, The hip, hip-hop and you don't stop the rockin', To the bang-bang boogie, say up jump the boogie, To the rhythm of the boogie, the beat… *the song finishes as the stage turns back to normal*
Dom; okay, admittedly, that was a little fun…
Brian: yeah, Mia loves doing stuff like this too, so I guess it makes some sense that you do too somewhat
Deadpool: man, you two really know how to rap…but then again you two did used to be street racers, well Dom still is…either way it makes sense…*realizes* Ohhh Olllllie! I know you’re watching this, You’re next buddy!
*there’s a puff of smoke and Deadpool, Dom, and Brian*
Steve : he’s right Ols, you are next
Oliver; okay, Why haven’t I been able to get us out of here?!
Steve: You can’t escape or destroy a pocket dimension created by your opposite until you understand the pocket dimension, it took me a week to figure out how to leave your hall after you guys all left the meeting last time you were all together
Oliver: shit…
Steve : don’t worry Ollie, you’re not singing this time, I’d need to train up a little bit if I wanted to mind trick you into singing, and I can already tell you won’t do it willingly
Oliver dryly: no, I won’t do it
Steve : yeah, that’s what I thought, but don’t worry, you’re just going to be more of a watcher for this, Oliver, or should I say… Ollie Baba? *snaps his fingers and the stage changes so it looks like they’re in the cave of wonders from Aladdin, and Oliver is dressed as Aladdin, and Steve looks like a purple version of the genie* but I don’t think you quite understand the level of my power yet anyway, so to quote the legendary Robin Williams, why don’t you ruminate while I illuminate the possibilities of what I can do… * Friend Like Me by Robin Williams starts playing as Steve starts recreating the whole number*
Steve : Well, Ali Baba had them forty thieves, Scheherazade had a thousand tales, But, master, you in luck 'cause, up your sleeves, You got a brand of magic never fails, You got some power in your corner now, Some heavy ammunition in your camp, You got some punch, pizzazz, yahoo, and how? See, all you gotta do is rub that lamp, and I'll say, "Mister Aladdin, sir, what will your pleasure be?" Let me take your order, jot it down You ain't never had a friend like me, ha-ha-ha! Life is your restaurant and I'm your maitre d' Come on, whisper what it is you want. You ain't never had a friend like me, Yes sir, we pride ourselves on service, You're the boss, the king, the shah! Say what you wish, it's yours, true dish, How 'bout a little more baklavaaaa? Have some of column A, try all of column B, I'm in the mood to help you, dude, You ain't never had a friend like me! Wah-ah-ah! Oh, my! Wah-ah-ah! No, no! Wah-ah-ah! My, my! Can your friends do this? Can your friends do that? Can your friends pull this, Out their little hat? Can your friends go poof? Hey, looky here, ha-ha! Can your friends go, "Abracadabra, let 'er rip"
And then make the sucker disappear? So, don't 'cha sit there slack-jawed, buggy-eyed, I'm here to answer all your midday prayers, You got me bona fide, certified, You got a genie for your charge d'affaires, I got a powerful urge to help you out, So what's your wish? I really wanna know, You got a list that's three miles long, no doubt Well, all you gotta do is rub like so, hey-oh Mister Aladdin, sir, have a wish or two or three, I'm on the job, you big nabob, You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend, You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend, You ain't never… had a… frieeeeend liiiiike meeeeeeeee, Ya-ha-ha! Wah-ha-ha! You ain't never had a friend like me, ha! *the song ends as they’re all suddenly back in the hall of universes sitting back in their respective seats at the meeting table*
Lucifer; …you know I have to say I quite liked that
Percy dryly: I would’ve if I didn’t have to sing a love song for someone who wasn’t my girlfriend
Steve : *sitting in a purple chair with a purple breach on the back of it, putting his feet on the table* you do know if you tell her what happened she won’t care right? She knows you’d never pull anything on anyone other than her
Oliver dryly: You’re still here?! and where’d you get that chair?!
Harry: YOU *throws the Anti- SpecPhone at him*
Steve: *snaps his fingers and stops the phone mid air transporting it into Harry’s pocket* I made it, and made it so you can’t unmake it, so good luck with that, now I have to go, before I came here I was in about to pull a legendary prank on Napoleon, *saying napoleon in a bad French accent* bill and ted style
Iris: *snorts* good luck with that
Steve: why thank you, *in a bad French accent* mademoiselle *dropping the accent as he stands up* but you have those Anti-SpecPhones, so you got my number now so, if you need me *singing as music plays in the background and he jumps on the table and dances*… hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here’s my number, so call me maybe! *snaps his fingers in a flash of purple light he’s gone and the music stops*
Kate: …I gotta say, I liked him
Iris: same, he was fun!
Morgan: as much as hated being FORCED into a musical number, I agree
Deadpool: same!
Harry dryly: I don’t know, he seemed kind of annoying…
Cisco innocently: could that maybe be because your body feels weird seeing someone being friendly, funny, and nice because of your salty ass attitude
Harry kind of snippy: I’m Funny and Nice
Sherloque: ehhh…nice, maybe, funny, mmm…not so much, besides you’re just upset everyone had to hear your not great singing voice
Harry: I have a GREAT singing voice!
*awkward silence*
Sherloque; it’s fine, mon amis, we both know that HR has the best of the singing voice of the tribunal of wells
Oliver: I think it’d be best if this is where we end today's meeting, I need to do some more investigation on this…Steve…We’ll meet back in a month for the next check in, unless anyone else has any business to bring up you can all–
Iris: Hang On! I actually do have something…so after the whole multiversal crisis, and all the other shit going on in our lives, I bet we’re all a bit stressed, so I had an Idea…show of hands, who here’s watched pitch perfect?
*everyone but Nikki, Aurora and Adelynn raise their hands*
Barry: hang on, Oliver, Harry, and Sherloque…you three have watched pitch perfect?!
Oliver dryly: yes, I’ve watched pitch perfect
Sherloque: It's the movie with girls at the college who have nothing in common but they can sing really well together, no?
Cisco: it is…
Harry: …HR Really likes the movie so we watched it during Wells movie night, that, and, Jesse made me watch it
Iris: Also, Lucifer, Morgan, you HAVE that movie?!
Lucifer; yes, it was actually a resistance produced film
Iris: Well okay, then…to those who haven’t watched so for those who haven’t watched it, do you know what a riff off is?
Aurora bluntly; I’m a musician, of course I know what a riff off is
Adelynn: I once saw a video Aurora showed me where her and the royals did one with this other band once
Nikki: I don’t
Iris: Okay then, Oliver could you maybe show the riff off scene from Pitch perfect?
Oliver slightly confused: okay…?
*uses his powers to make a projector screen appear as he then dim the lights as they watch the riff off scene from pitch perfect then he gets rid of the projector and puts the lights back to normal as the screen disappears*
Nikki: …so why did we just watch this?
Iris: because, my idea, we have a Multiversal riff off! If you’d like we can put it to a vote
Oliver: …okay, if you’re going to do this it can’t be in my bar
Lucifer: you have the vote of Earth-X and we can host it in Lux before we reopen it
Morgan dryly: I’m a representative of earth-x too remember?
Lucifer: sorry, but you have to admit, it’d be a lot of fun
Morgan: …you know I’m not a big fan of singing in front of others…but it would be kind of fun…fine…
Lucifer: YES
Barry: Cisco?
Cisco: you don’t even gotta ask me Barry, you got Earth-prime’s vote!
Oliver: I still think this is kind of stupid
Harry dryly: try a lot stupid, you don’t have Earth-2’s vote…
Aurora: you do for Earth-111605!
Adelynn: and Coruscant-111605!
Charlotte: what the hell, I need a fucking break, just let me know when this is going to be, because you have my universe’s vote
Nikki; this could be fun, why not, Earth-6246’s vote is yours
Sherloque: as is 221’s
Dick: and 89’s
Kate: Earth 199999 is yours too…
Percy: same goes for my vote, because this is going to be awesome!
Brian: Mia would probably have a lot of fun with this…
Dom: So would letty…
Brian and Dom: We’re in
Scott: you can count my earth in too
Deadpool: and with my vote the only votes against this awesome idea are Dollar Store Hawkeye and the Boring wells
Cisco: C’mon harry!
Harry: well…Jesse would have a lot of fun…alright, fine, for Jesse, you have Earth-2’s vote
Iris: which means other than Oliver it’s unanimous!
Oliver: I mean I honestly didn’t care, just as long as you don’t do this in my bar
Lucifer: So what are the rules?
Iris: alright, I’m thinking, first we decide our judge
Deadpool: I’ll do it!
Everyone there: uhhhh…
Dick: I’ll judge too, we’re both the only guardians of our respective universes so it makes sense
Morgan: if we want to make it three judges to prevent ties, since Oliver can’t go into the multiverse I could figure out a way to link my holophone to a projector we have in lux
Iris: Alright, that works! now as far as the rest of the rules, I’m thinking, for each team they have to be from the same universe they want to represent and they all have to be guardians, unless you’re one of the ones like Nikki and Charlotte with less people in your universe who’d be willing to do it who are guardians then you can either ask for help from non guardians, or grab from other low count universes, but if it’s just because you want more people you have to stick to universe, and it has to be 15 or less for a team
Dick: that seems fair
Iris: alright, so all rosters have to be submitted to Oliver in say…let’s say a week?
Barry: that seems like enough time, if it’s fine with you I think we’ll ask a couple of non-guardians for the prime team
Cisco quietly to Barry: Kara?
Barry quietly: yep
Charlotte: Quick question, could my team get my brother?
Iris: Considering he lives in universe-111605 now, no, sorry, which reminds me, universe-111605 is getting split up because Obi Wan, plus the royals? That’s going to be a HELL no
Adelynn: and Allana’s a REALLY good singer too…hang on would she qualify as Earth or Coruscant?
Iris: where does she live?
Adelynn: Just moved to Earth after the wedding
Iris: then earth
Adelynn: DAMMIT
Aurora: YES
Charlotte: You know what, we’ll be fine anyway, Me, Finn, Poe, and Rey, we can handle this, you’re all going down!
Iris: Are you sure?
Charlotte: yep!
Iris: alright…
Jaime: …hey, Nikki, do you and Sirius want to team up with me and my uncle for a team?
Nikki: sure, but that’s still only four of us…can we also ask some non-guardians from our earth, because I know two more who would
Iris: all good there
Nikki: Then we have six…Harry, is Jesse a good singer?
Harry: she’s an amazing singer
Nikki; great, do you and Jesse want to join the team?
Harry: Jesse probably would and I’ll ask her just in case, But I’ll probably just watch
Nikki: alright then, I’ll talk to the other members from my earth, and submit the roster to Oliver
Jaime: sounds good
Iris: there are a lot of people from my earth who’d want to do this, only one who’s a non-guardian…Oliver, If I send you the list of people could you divide them into three teams
Oliver: sure
Iris: thanks!
Percy: Well me, Annabeth and Grover are all in…Kate, you think you and Clint would want to join us?!
Kate: Sure
Percy: great, now we just need maybe one more…Sherloque? You interested?
Sherloque: Sure, I don’t see why not
Scott; there’s only one non-guardian who I need to ask
Lucifer: so we have a couple of non-guardians we’d like to–
Iris immediately: no.
Lucifer: why not!
Iris: You have musical actors! That’s not fair to everyone else!
Lucifer: what if I could only have a certain amount of musical actors?
Iris: alright, I’ll give you two
Lucifer: three
Iris: deal, who are they
Lucifer: Aaron and Evelyn Tveit, and Ricky Rojas
Iris: DAMMIT, I should’ve stuck to two, you put in a married couple, you sneaky son of a bitch
Lucifer: yes, well you didn’t say I couldn’t do that
Iris: …fair enough…and as for any other non-guardians just keep it under 15 people
Lucifer: you have my word
Iris: And for the final thing, we need to discuss a prize, and it’s gotta be something good…
Deadpool: *smirking under his mask* I think I have an idea…one override card for each member of the winning team
Iris: YES
Oliver: ABSOLUTELY N–
Iris; *holds an override card in the air*
Oliver; *quickly draws his bow and shoots it out of her hand without laying a scratch on her, but the card disappears into green spectral particles* SHIT
*Most of the people there cheer*
Iris; well with that said that covers all the details needed except for when it’s going to be, I’m thinking three weeks from today? Everyone in favor say aye
Everyone there: aye
Iris: and the ayes have it, it’s in three weeks
Aurora: now, for my idea to boost morale, so my husband found out about this muggle game called dungeons and dragons, during the last crisis, and he had the idea to have a multiversal dnd campaign whatever that means
Scott, Kate, Iris, Cisco, Morgan and Percy immediately: YES
Iris; you know my grandpa Sirius actually mentioned that incident to me, he and the rest of our family have been dnd players for years, but who would DM?
Scott: I know a good DM who’d be more than likely to do it, we’d just have to give him a call, he’s actually a guardian too so that’d work out
Harry: I’m not a fan, but jesse is, I’m sure she’d be interested, so I’ll let her know
Dom: Bri, aren’t Tej and Ramsey fans of that too?
Brian: yep, we’ll let them know
Iris; call your DM Scott *pulls out his specphone and calls someone and Peter picks up*
Peter Parker/Spider-Man (200000): Hey scott, how’s the meeting going!
Scott: Good, but I’m calling because we want to ask you something, Oliver could you link my phone to a holo projector so everyone could see?
Oliver: *snaps his fingers and peter’s suddenly on a holo-projector in the center of the round table*
Peter: Sure, what’s going on?
Iris: do you think you’d be able to DM a multiversal DND campaign…
Peter: …hmmm…that sounds like a lot of fun…and there is a campaign I’ve been working on that would require a LOT of people…alright, I’ll do it! But I have two questions, one, is there any way I could include my usual dnd party? That being Professor Lang, Cassie, Professor Ochoa, my Girlfriend MJ Watson and my Best Friend Ned Leeds, they all know about the multiverse already
Oliver: in that case since Aurora proposed the Idea, it's her call
Aurora: I don’t see why not
Peter: alright, just in case for those who haven’t played I’ll send in instructional video me and my buddy ned made a while back on how to play and make your character sheet
Lucifer: right, I have a few non guardian friends who would be interested in this too, could I invite them
Morgan: yeah, I have one too
Peter: go ahead, just message me the names of everyone who’s interested and I’ll message everyone the details of the campaign, and things they’ll need to know when making their character in relation to the campaign in a holo-message
Kate: That sounds great!
Barry: Huh, this could be fun, I know a lot of people on earth-prime who play who’d be interested, a couple of them non-guardians, but they know about the multiverse already, is it okay if I invite them?
Peter: of course, like I said just send me the names, and I’ll send everyone character sheets, and I could have everything ready in less than three weeks for a first session depending on how fast we get names
Scott: sounds great, thanks peter
Peter; no problem Scott, I’ll see you later, but one last thing before I go…where will we be hosting this
Iris: hey, Oliver, you don’t think you could create a pocket dimension–
Oliver: save it Iris, you can use the bar, but in a separate room I’ll show you when the time comes
Peter; alright, that settles everything I needed to know for now, I’ll see you all later *the call ends*
Oliver; alright, are there any other matters of business we needed to discuss?
*silence*
Oliver; alright then, unless you have anything you needed to discuss with me in private *opens a breach that keeps shifting colors* this will take you to wherever you were before you came here
Morgan: *goes to the cooler and grabs two coronas* I’m finally getting bart to try one of these when we get back, Brian, Dom, again, you guys are awesome *lucifer and morgan both leave*
Lucifer as he walks through: We’ll see you all later then…
*everyone says their goodbyes until it’s just Nikki and Oliver*
Nikki: …so this was really the only way?
Oliver: I’m sorry Nikki…I really wish it wasn’t, believe me I do…and I’m sorry for what pain you’ve had to suffer through, I mean that Nikki, truly, I am sorry…
Nikki: I know I said for my mental health I said I’m going to try to forgive you for this, but do not mistake this for me not being pissed at you because I am, and will be for a while…and while I may eventually forgive you for this…I’m never forgetting… *takes her empty coffee mug, empty food container, and chocolate cream pie and walks through the breach*
Notes:
You've finally met STEVE!! The only OC (so far) who's credit goes to me instead of my friend who you can find on wattpad @wifeofenjolras, but back to the point, you've met steve! And trust me, you won't be forgetting him any time soon, next chapter coming up is "Walk-in," but until then, this has been a padjake written story, now, Mischief Managed!
Chapter 5: Walk-in
Notes:
Alright, as always, credits for OCs (except for Steve) go to my friend who you can find on wattpad @wifeofenjolras, also before I begin with chapter there is a line or two of tame smut, but you know, that's kind of to be expected in an ongoing fanfic eventually, don't come after me in the comments, you've been warned. Now on with the chapter!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
*the multiversal bar, a week after the multiversal check-in, with Sara, Oliver, Kara, and Barry*
Sara Lance/White Canary: …and when I tried to stop her she interrupted saying that her husband “enjoys the company of his male courtiers” and asked me why she should be denied “similar pleasures?”
Barry Allen/The Flash: *choking on a sip of beer* so you’re saying you actually–
Sara: got busy with the queen of france in 1637? Yep, All while Rip, Rory, Ray, Jax, and Stein were dealing with the assassins, armed by a time pirate with laser guns, there to assassinate King Louis XIII, after that I just walked outside and let the king know that the queen was waiting for him in their bedroom, honestly he was SO confused, and Rip was SO pissed at us for that mission, *sighs* man I miss that guy…oh, also keep in mind this was LONG before I met Ava…alright Barr, you’re next, most interesting non-big bad related mission story or fight
Barry: …I’m gonna have to think about that…I’ve had a lot of interesting fights over the years…maybe the one where I ran in and out of a black hole
Kara Danvers/Kara Zor-El/Supergirl: You did What?!?! I’ve fought a brainwashed Kaznian version of myself, and was one of the only eight people to survive the old multiverse, and even I think that’s crazy
Sara: …huh…I did not know you did that…well the old multiverse thing I know about, hell, I was there too…actually, we were all there for that
Oliver Queen/Green Arrow/The Spectre: hang on, we have a breach coming in
*a breach opens up as Rosie walks through it holding a folder in her hands*
Rosaline “Rosie” Black: Hey Oliver! Hey Barry! *to sara and Kara* …who’re you two?
Kara: Hi, I’m Kara, Kara Danvers, a friend of Barry and Oliver from earth prime
Sara: Sara Lance, also friend of Barry and Oliver, also from earth-prime, You?
Rosie: Rosie Black, Earth-62406…
Sara: So I’m guessing you’re a Multiversal Guardian?
Rosie: …maybe?
Barry: that’s what we named the multiverse team
Rosie: Oh shit, you’re right, Iris did mention that…she also mentioned something about a riff off a couple days ago, and Oliver, I don’t know if she’s told you yet, but I am in!
Oliver: she did
Sara: A riff off? What? Like from pitch perfect?
Barry; Yeah, which reminds me, I meant to ask, would you and Kara be interested in joining the team for Earth-Prime?
Kara: uhh, YES
Sara: I don’t see why not, who else is on our team?
Barry: at the moment, Cisco, Caitlin, my Iris, Chester, Allegra, HR and the three of us, although chester and allegra are maybes
Sara: …who’s Chester and Allegra?
Barry: …okay, we really haven’t talked much before all this have we? Allegra and Chester are both a part of team flash, Allegra helps Iris run the Citizen while moonlighting as Wavelength, and Chester took over for Cisco after he left to A.R.G.U.S.
Sara: right, okay, I was actually meaning to ask about who that was, but thanks for letting me know
Rosie: uhhh…sorry to interrupt but could you hurry up and open the breach so I can go see my boyfriend, Oliver?
Sara: Wait a second, back up there sister, you’re breaching to see your boyfriend, you’re dating someone from another universe? I thought the only one doing that was Caitlin with that guy Leo…hang on, isn’t he also from your universe?
Rosie: that would be my nephew, yeah…none of you can tell anyone about this or so Help me I will kill all of you
Sara: you’re currently threatening a highly trained former assassin with extreme regenerative capabilities, someone who’s invincible, someone who is all powerful and someone who’s a speedster, you wanna try that again?
Rosie innocently: I have three override cards and I’m a witch
Sara: the invincible thing and speedster–
Kara: uhh, Sara… you do know Kryptonians can still be hurt by magic, right?
Sara: …I did not…
Barry: and while I probably could take her, then we’d have to deal with her whole family…we’d be screwed
Rosie: hang on…kryptonian? …YOU’RE SUPERGIRL?!
Kara: yep!
Rosie: okay, so I can hurt supergirl…good to know…but either way you get the message, say anything and you’re screwed
Sara: don’t worry, we won’t say anything
Rosie: good…oh, also on another note before I do go, Oliver, I’m working on my character sheet for the dnd thing, and am helping ben later today, but I’ll just say, you have sword and crossbow of Inrilith the Elvish ranger at the disposal of your party
Oliver: uhhh, Peter’s the one heading the D&D thing, not me, I’m not even doing it
Barry: c’mon Ollie, it’ll be fun!
Kara: Hang on D&D? Can I join!
Barry: I’d have to talk to peter about it but I’m pretty sure I could get you a seat
Oliver: I’m not doing it Barry
Barry: *realizes and slams down an override card*
Oliver dryly: Dammit barry…
Rosie and Sara: *Snorts*
Kara: w–what was that?
Barry: override card, it basically makes it so oliver has to do something he didn’t want to do, and it’s magically binding thanks to his own spectre energy
Kara: …why would you make that?
Oliver; I was drunk okay!
Kara: …you can do that?!
Oliver: well…normally no…but sometimes I allow myself to be drunk
Kara: *pinching the bridge of his nose* …that was kind of stupid, you know that?
Oliver; yeah, I know Kara, you don’t need to point it out
Sara: yeah, I already bullied him relentlessly when I found out
Rosie: well this ought to be fun
Sara: But I gotta ask before you go, if you don’t want to tell me I know it’s technically not my business but I gotta know…who’s the guy?
Rosie: …okay so star wars is a thing in your universe if I remember right…
Kara: As a big time star wars fan myself the answer is yes…
Rosie; well then, as I mentioned earlier…Ben
Kara: …okay there are two people in star wars who go by ben–
Rosie: Skywalker—formerly Ben Solo
Kara: …you’re dating Adam driver??
Rosie: no, I’m dating Ben Skywalker
Kara: You’re dating an actual Jedi?! …okay I know I’m in a committed relationship with Dick,
but Lucky!
Rosie: YOU’RE WITH DICK?!
Barry: not that dick, our earth’s dick
Kara: …what are you guys talking about?
Barry: That's another conversation we’ve been meaning to fill you in on, but we’ll get into that later…
Rosie: Oliver, can you open the breach please! I haven’t seen my boyfriend in a couple of days and I’d like to see him sooner rather than later
Oliver; alright, moving on, opening the breach now *opens a breach*
Rosie: thanks! *runs through it*
Sara: …so she’s definitely going to–
Oliver: yep, one hundred percent…
Kara: She's going to what?
*charlotte then storms through another breach that opens up*
Charlotte: hey Oliver, Barry, randos, I need a breach to Coruscant-111605 to see my brother
Barry: Is everything alright?
Charlotte: I’ve been overworked and overstressed, and I need to talk to my brother
Sara: right…and you are?
Charlotte: Charlotte Dameron, who’re you? …also I’d like to apologize for calling you randos
Sara: Sara Lance, a friend of Oliver and Barry’s, and it’s fine
Charlotte slowly in shock: …Oliver has friends outside of the Guardians?
Kara: *laughing* he does, I’m also one of those friends, Kara Danvers
Charlotte: Okay, I have questions now…
Sara: and we likely have answers, hit me
Charlotte: …how do you two know him?
Kara: we both knew him before he became the spectre, like Barry did, we live on earth-prime too
Charlotte: huh…so do you all have weird powers then? Or is that just these two?
Kara: well, I can fly, have heat vision, super-breath, super strength, and for the most part am indestructible
Sara: and I have an extreme healing factor, I pretty much can’t die unless it’s by natural causes…or if I get pregnant again, then someone can kill me, but other than that, yeah I can’t die of unnatural causes
Charlotte: …so is having weird powers just a thing on Earth-Prime or…
Oliver dryly: coming from the Jedi
Charlotte: …touche…
Sara: so who’s your brother
Charlotte: Ben Solo, he’s my twin
Kara; *eyes widening* Ben Solo as in–
Charlotte: oh FORCE don’t tell me he’s Kylo Ren in your universe
Kara; …in the star wars movies he is?
Charlotte: That's right, Barry did mention that’s one of the ones where we’re fiction…well at least he’s not evil in real life there…Okay, well this has been fun, I’m going to go see my brother now, Oliver could you open the breach?
Oliver: *does so*
Charlotte: alright, going now, bye! *walks through the breach*
Kara: …should we have told her what she was about to walk in on?
Oliver: don’t worry I sent her breach about forty five minutes after I sent Rosie, and not into the room so that should buy them some time to get themselves…situated…
Sara: …Oliver…let me put it this way…when did you ever fully finish what you started…in only forty minutes?
Oliver: *realizes* …shit…
Sara: …okay, I kind of want to see this, Ollie can you pass me the remote?
Oliver: alright I guess… *hands it over*
Barry: I don’t know if this is a good idea
Kara: yeah, I don’t know if we should be spying on this…
Sara: Let's see… time to figure out how this works…
*Coruscant-111605, the Chancellor’s Apartments, fourth floor hallway*
Adelynn Skywalker-Kenobi dryly: for the last time Anakin, you’re not taking Hope and Hadrian to fly in the annual mos espa podrace on boonta eve, besides, you HATE Tatooine!
Anakin Skywalker: But it’s podracing! And they need to know about podracing! After all, that podrace is how we got off of tatooine, thanks to Qui Gon, and, even better, they’re the same age we were when I raced! Plus they’ve already fought in a space battle technically! This is WAY less dangerous, plus you already know about the lessons I’ve given them, and you haven’t even seen the pods I built for them yet!
Adelynn: this is a terrible idea anakin, there’s no way in hell I’m letting you do this
Anakin; cmon, it can be a family trip! *sighs* and if you want…we could take them to see mom while we’re there…
*silence*
Adelynn: …you must REALLY want to do this Anakin, because we’ve talked to mom with qui-gon since we learned how to do that but you haven’t actually been back THERE since—
Anakin: I know…but this is an experience I really want to have with my niece and nephew, and someday, if I can convince Padme to let me, continue the tradition with Luke and Leia
Adelynn: …I’ll talk to Ben, and we’ll THINK about it, and this is a BIG “IF,” okay? I am NOT under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES AGREEING TO THIS YET YOU HEAR ME? So don’t go telling Hope and Hadrian I said anything yet
Anakin: yep, completely understand and I’ll take it
Adelynn: …so you actually built them Pods?
Anakin excited; yeah, the kids helped a little too but I did most of the heavy lifting I can show you them right now if you want, I’ve been renting a garage where I built them and have them stored not far from the apartments
Adelynn: *snorts softly* not right now, but I have to say, it’s nice to see you happily building again, just like when we were kids
Anakin sarcastically: very funny Adelynn
Adelynn: I’m serious Ani, you haven't actually built anything just because since we were kids, and it’s nice to see you able to get back into it, because I know it made you happy, and I can tell it’s making you happy now
Anakin: thanks, ‘lynn
*Charlotte’s breach opens up as she storms through it*
Charlotte: Hey Grandpa Anakin, Adelynn, do you know where my brother is?
Anakin: sure, Studio Apartment, 3b, floor right below us
Charlotte: thanks *sprints off to the stairs*
Adelynn once she’s out of earshot: …You IDIOT, *smacks him in the back of the head* you know who he’s with right now!
Anakin: *realizes* …shit
*the two go after her*
*with Charlotte*
Charlotte: *as she gets to Ben’s room* Alright Ben, we got a lot I need to talk to– *as she’s opening the door*
Obi Wan: *sees her from down the hall as his eyes widen realizing* CHARLOTTE WAIT–
Charlotte: Wh– *the door opens and she sees Ben, in a way that no one should ever have to see their twin, or any family member for that matter, with Rosie, and hears them, their moans, their groans, of joy, as they’re getting to know each other, biblically, and just goes silent as she quickly closes the door and slowly backs away from it in shock*
Obi Wan: …oh Charlotte…
*just then Anakin and Adelynn run over from the stairs and see Obi Wan and Charlotte with her back against the corridor wall*
Adelynn: …we’re too late aren’t we…
Charlotte: *feeling sick, with what she just witness having triggered her morning sickness, runs*
Adelynn knowing what it is; Back upstairs! The first door on the right! Padme and Anakin’s Apartment! She can help you! AND THERE’S A BATHROOM!
Anakin slowly: …I know I act like I’m going to throw up when I see you two flirting but I don’t actually…do it?
Adelynn: *smacks him in the back of the head*
Anakin: OW
Obi Wan: *sighs dryly* Even ignoring the fact that what she just saw was easily a hundred times worse than what you’ve seen, you do realize what she’s doing right now isn’t just because of that right?
Anakin: …oh…right…
Adelynn dryly: you IDIOT
*meanwhile in the Multiversal bar*
Sara: Aaaand we got it! *they see Charlotte sprinting to Ben’s door*
Barry: I don’t think we should be watching this
Kara: yeah, this feels wrong…
Sara: don’t worry you two, it’s not like we’re watching what’s going on in the room
*she gets to the door*
Barry: On a scale of one to ten, Oliver, how bad is this going to be?
Oliver: …fifteen
*the door opens and they don’t see what’s going on inside, but they hear it’*
Kara: oh GOD
Sara: …that, from the sound of it…is the sound of a woman being EXTREMELY pleasured…good for her
Barry: SARA
Sara: yep, already on it *mutes it until Charlotte closes the door*
Kara: …I definitely didn’t need super hearing to be able to hear what that was…I told you this was a bad idea
Sara: At least it’s over now!
Kara: …is that Obi Wan Kenobi?! …and Anakin Skywalker?!
Barry: yes
Kara; but who’s that other woman with them?
Oliver: Adelynn Skywalker-Kenobi, twin of Anakin Skywalker, and wife of Obi Wan Kenobi
Kara: HE’S MARRIED THERE?!
Barry: yep
Kara: damn…
Sara: Damn? Wh–*realizes and smirks* …he’s on your list isn’t he?
Oliver: What list?
Kara: *blushing slightly* I have no idea what you’re talking about?
Sara: its this thing that some couples do, called a three list, or a cheat list, a list of three people if by extreme chance, you get a chance to hook up with them, you can, and it’ll be fine, and to spice things up in the bedroom, it can be fictional, to give your partner ideas
Barry: yeah, you know Oliver, back when Iris was with Eddie, when I first got my powers, you were actually on her list
Oliver: WHAT?!
Barry: mhmm, I mean you weren’t after her and I got together and she found out you were the arrow, but still, it was interesting
Kara: moving on from this, Sara, Obi Wan Kenobi is not on my three list
Sara: you surrrrrreeee about th–hang on why’s she running?
Oliver: morning sickness
Sara, Kara, and Barry: SHE’S PREGNANT?!?!
Oliver: yes…and Barry, You knew this!
Barry: ……okay I might have forgot……in my defense a LOT happened at that check-in meeting when I first found out
Oliver: …fair…but yes she’s pregnant
Sara: Well now I feel bad for watching this go down, Oliver, what the hell! Why would you let us do all this knowing she was pregnant! Also WHY NOT TELL HER WHAT WAS GOING ON AND LET THIS HAPPEN, WHEN SHE WAS PREGNANT?!
Oliver; because we already promised Rosie we wouldn’t! And my word is magically binding as the spectre!
Sara: DAMMIT
Oliver: …oh, okay, it seems like now Obi Wan, Anakin, and Adelynn are with Charlotte and Padme in her and Anakin’s apartment…
*in the apartment*
Charlotte dryly: …morning sickness is a bitch…
Padme Amidala-Skywalker: …we are very lucky the kids wanted all to go over ahsoka’s to go play, and shmi and jacen are asleep right now
Obi Wan: if you want Charlotte to get your mind off of…what just happened–
Anakin: Which again, I am SO sorry for
Charlotte dryly: you’ve already said it more than enough times where I’ll punch you in the face if you say it again
Obi Wan: –as I was saying…in order to get…THAT… off of your mind, why don’t we get an early dinner?
Charlotte: That sounds nice…
Adelynn: although we should probably get the kids first
Charlotte: …oh shit I just remembered something…
Anakin: What is it?
Charlotte; so you remember when we fought in that weird battle and me and chewie were piloting the falcon with the twins shooting?
Adelynn dryly: *glaring at anakin* how could I forget
Charlotte: well, I miiiiiight…have promised them if they could shoot that waverider ship Cobalt Blue, you know, the man who killed my husband, was flying, out of the sky I’d get them, and Aurora’s kids for the prank stuff, triple scoops of ice cream
Adelynn innocently: …well Anakin, guess who’s hosting a sleepover tonight with Sirius jr and Marlene for Hope and Hadrian after they get sugar highs?
Anakin: uhhh…but we don’t have enough room in the apartment?
Padme innocently: you do realize we have more apartments in this building, most of them empty, yet still fully furnished, you could host it in one of the empty ones while I watch luke and leia
Anakin: Padme!
Padme innocently: it was your idea to teach them how to fly and shoot without talking to Adelynn
Adelynn: THANK YOU, Padme
Anakin: *sighs dryly* alright, fine, Adelynn, call aurora
Adelynn: hang on a moment… *sending a message to ben on her SpecPhone*
Ben, your sister is here, and she saw you and Rosie, TOGETHER, IN BED, some advice for next time…LOCK THE KRIFFING DOOR WHEN YOU’RE HAVING SEX…but moving on, Obi Wan, Anakin, Padme, and Charlotte, are heading over to Ahsoka’s and picking up at her, cody, rex, and Allana, and taking Charlotte to Dex’s, meet us there with Rosie when you’re…situated…from what it sounded like she REALLY needed to talk to you
Adelynn: alright, now that that’s done, I’ll call Aurora, and have her and Sirius meet us outside the apartments *calls aurora*
Aurora Mafoy-Black (111605) *picks up* Hey Adelynn, what’s going on?
Adelynn: we’re going to dex’s, and apparently Charlotte promised both my twins and yours, that she’d get them ice cream, and if the kids are interested, Anakin, is going to host a sleepover for the kids after
Aurora bluntly: what’d he do?
Adelynn: taught the kids how to shoot and fly, remember? the second battle for the multiverse
Aurora: oh damn, I forgot about that…well the kids have actually been asking if they could have a sleepover with Hope and Hadrian so I guess that works out, we’ll be over soon…also unrelated, have you guys had any luck with the Dungeons and Dragons character sheet things? Because me and Sirius have been watching the instructional holovid Peter and his friend Ned made for us, and I can’t figure it out
Adelynn: yeah, Rosie and Ben are meeting up with us later so my plan was to ask her to help, the only ones who I think’s figured it out is Obi Wan, and Padme
Aurora: yeah, Lily and Remus have it figured it out and they’ve been spending a lot of time trying to explain what to do to james, so I didn’t want to exactly interrupt the very difficult process of explaining things to james potter, so if you don’t mind we’ll definitely join you for that
Adelynn bluntly: *snorts* fair enough
Aurora: sounds great, I’ll meet you outside the apartments with Sirius, padsy, and marlene
Adelynn: see you then *hangs up*
Padme: alright, let’s go get the kids from Ahsoka’s
Adelynn: Shmi should be waking up soon, and Jacen we can just put in the baby seat, me and Obi Wan will go get them, then we’ll meet you at ahsoka’s
Padme: we’ll see you there
*a little bit later in Ben’s apartment*
Ben Skywalker: *putting his jedi robes back on* that was fun
Rosie: *putting her shirt on* I know…although I still think we should’ve kept going a couple rounds
Ben jokingly: c’mon, we were going at it for over an hour. You don’t want to get tired of it do you?
Rosie: *snorts loudly* okay, that was funny
Ben: thank you, but seriously, we need to eat
Rosie flirtingly: well we could’ve if–
Ben bluntly: Food Rosie, Food!
Rosie: …fine…but we WILL be continuing this later, I got clearance with Harry to take a half day tomorrow so I could actually spend the whole night with you, and show up later in the afternoon
Ben: *smirking slightly* I think I can get behind that
Rosie flirtingly: *smirking* that won’t be the only thing you’ll be getting behind today if you play your cards right
Ben: I definitely like the sound of that *pulls out his specphone from his pocket* huh, that’s weird, message from Aunt ‘lynn…*flips open the specphone and goes to the messages as his eyes widen and he pales* SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT
Rosie: What’s wrong?!
Ben: We have to go to Dex’s, NOW*force pulls his lightsaber and clips it to his robe*
Rosie: Okay, what’s going on?!
Ben: Charlotte came to visit needing to talk to me about something
Rosie: okay…and?
Ben: SHE SAW US TOGETHER…IN BED
Rosie: oh, SHIT…wait a second…YOU DIDN’T LOCK THE DOOR?!?!
Ben: oh Don’t you act all innocent, you practically jumped at me the moment I opened the door, I got a little distracted and I forgot, hell, you were so excited you dropped that folder on the ground over there *pointing at it* …what is that folder anyway?
Rosie: …okay, fair enough, next time I’ll make sure you lock the door before immediately jumping your bones…also the folder, *goes over and picks it up* in here is my DND character sheet as well as a couple other spare character sheets I brought because you asked for my help, and I had a feeling your family would also be struggling
Ben: ohhh…
Rosie: Okay, I’ll leave the folder here for later *grabs her purse off of a nightstand and puts the folder there* alright, let’s go
Ben: …do we have to?
Rosie dryly; you’re the one who said we had to go!
Ben: I know but…oh force, I REALLY don’t want to
Rosie: I know, I don’t want to either, but…I think we have to…
Ben: *sighs* I know…so it’s okay that Charlotte knows then?
Rosie: We talked about this, remember, it’s alright if she knows, I’m not happy that THIS is how it got let out, but I get it she’s your twin, it’s just she can’t tell MY family…well not yet at least
Ben: great, well let’s get out of here then
*a little bit later at Dex’s Diner with everyone else*
Allana Weasley (111605): …so you actually saw–
Charlotte immediately not wanting to think about it: yep…
Aurora Malfoy-Black: You know if you think that’s bad, I’ve got a worse one for you later once we drop of the kids
Charlotte: Worse than what I saw? I highly doubt that…where are the kids anyway? I saw them kind of just disappear with Rex and Cody after they finished eating their food
Adelynn: on the way in they saw this bounty hunter shooting simulation game Dex installed and dragged Rex and Cody to play, also if Aurora’s talking about the story I think she’s talking about, I can guarantee you it’s worse
Aurora: oh, I am
Adelynn: *sees ben and Rosie* …hey Ben! Rosie! *waving them down to their table*
*Ben and Rosie sit down next to charlotte*
Ben: Hey guys… Hey Charlotte…
Charlotte awkwardly: hey ben…we already ordered for you guys, hope that’s alright
Rosie: thanks guys, because we are starving
Ben: so…you saw–
Charlotte: if we could not bring it up, that’d be great, It kind of triggered my morning sickness
Ben: right…sorry…
Charlotte: …so, Ben…how long since–
Ben: Since we got together? We got together about two and a half weeks ago
Charlotte: So right after the battle…*sighs* well, I got a couple things to say real quick, first thing being…I KNEW IT, I TOLD YOU I KNEW YOU HAD A THING FOR HER
*Adelynn, Anakin, and Rosie all burst into laughter*
Ben: oh calm down you three
Charlotte: …also the other thing I gotta say…WHAT THE HELL BEN?!
Ben: What?!
Charlotte dryly: Why the hell didn’t you tell me! *hits him in the arm* This is exactly what I was afraid of when you moved here! You’d Stop talking to me and we’d lose touch!
Ben dryly: what do you mean stop talking to you?! You’re the one who’s stopped talking to me! Whenever I try to call you, you message me saying you’re busy with something, and when I message you, you barely message back! HOW THE HELL WAS I SUPPOSED TO TELL YOU ABOUT US WHEN YOU NEVER PICK UP THE DAMN PHONE?!
*silence*
Charlotte breaking down: listen, Running A galaxy, is a Pain in the FUCKING ASS, I NEVER HAVE TIME, I’VE BARELY EVEN GOTTEN TO SEE POE IN THE LAST TWO-THREE WEEKS, I DON’T WANT TO DO THIS BUT I HAVE TO
*silence again*
Ben bluntly: …you’re a fucking idiot you know that? Just Hire a replacement and QUIT
Charlotte: I can’t just quit!
Ben: I literally just said you find a replacement first, THEN you quit
Charlotte: I can’t!
Ben: Why not!
*silence*
Rosie: …OH
Ben: Rosie, Please tell me that means you can tell me that means you can explain what the fuck is going on with her
Rosie: …not the best idea…
Ben confused: What isn’t? Explaining??
Rosie slowly: Me…SPECIFICALLY…explaining
Ben: Okay, rosie, I love you, but that doesn’t make any sense, because if you don’t explain, we’re not going to know what’s going on, that is unless charlotte decides to not be stubborn for once and actually say what’s wrong
Charlotte deflecting: WHOA THE L WORD DAAAAAAAMN
Ben dryly: Don’t do that Char, we’ve said we love each other before, it’s not getting this off topic
Charlotte: You’ve only been together like two weeks and you’re already saying you’re in love, damn…now just shut up and eat your food
Ben: Charlotte. Padme. Dameron. I swear to force if you don’t tell me what’s going onI will–
Charlotte: MOM MADE ME AND POE COGENERALS AND I FEEL OBLIGATED TO KEEP DOING IT *blurts that out then slaps her hand over her mouth*
*awkward silence*
Ben quietly (because they’re in public so only those at the table hear) comforting her while partially self exploding: I know, mom and I didn’t have…the BEST…relationship in the galaxy, but I know for a fact that she wouldn’t have wanted this for you, and before you say anything I know I don’t have the right to say what she would or wouldn’t want, but I do know for a fact you were her favorite, and there’s no way in hell she would want this for you
Ahsoka semi-joking, breaking the tension: Now hug it out!
*Adelynn, Anakin, Ben and Charlotte groan in unison*
Rosie Bluntly: no offense Ahsoka, but that was probably the worst thing you could’ve said in a room full of siblings
Charlotte casually: also you’re actually mom’s favorite
Ben dryly: Bullshit.
Charlotte teasingly: Mama’s boyyyyyyy
Ben quietly dryly; Charlotte, which one of us joined the first order, became a sith lord, and took over the galaxy, causing for the resistance to begin again, making mom’s life worse until she died, and killed dad
Charlotte: …that was blunt
Ben: But nevertheless true, there’s no way in hell I’m mom’s favorite after all that, but that’s besides the point, you need to quit
Padme: …I don’t want to interrupt here, but, as someone who is a current chancellor, I can tell you, there are ways to balance, although it can be hard, but I can tell, Ben’s right, you DO need to quit
Ben: SEE
Charlotte: Ben, you know why I can’t–
Ben: alright then, you leave me no choice…you swear to me, right here, right now, on mom and dad’s names, that you’ll look for a replacement, if you don’t I will have oliver send me back to where we’re from…and turn myself in
Rosie: *pales slightly*
*silence*
Charlotte: Y-you wouldn’t, you’re bluffing!
Ben: I’m not, I’m dead serious and the only other way to keep me from going through with that would be you’d have to kill me, and we both know you wouldn’t do that *pulls out his extrapolator*
Charlotte: You'd really be willing to risk everything you have now! For Nothing?!
Ben: No… not for nothing, to my sister happy again… so what’s it going to be? Are you going to find a replacement and quit, or am I going to have to spend the rest of my life in a cell?
Charlotte: …fine…I’ll look for a replacement…
Ben: Swear it…
Charlotte: I swear on the names of Han Solo and Leia Organa-Solo that I’ll look for a replacement…and quit
Ben: *sighs in relief* thank you…
Rosie: *also sighs under her breath in relief*
Charlotte dryly: You’re an asshole you know that?
Ben: uh huh, love you too Char
Charlotte dryly: just shut up and eat your food
*Ben smugly takes a bite of food*
Adelynn: *still covering Shmi’s ears* Are you guys done here? Because my arms are getting tired
Charlotte: I think so…
*after everyone finishes eating their food and the kids come back with Cody and rex*
Luke Skywalker (111605): you wewe amazing uncle wex!
Leia Skywalker (111605): but uncle Cody did betta
Sirius jr: I don’t know, I think Rex did
Hadrian: I don’t know, I think uncle Cody did better there
Hope: are you kidding?! Uncle Rex won that easily!
Marlene: Are you crazy, hope?! That was a Cody win!
Rex: calm down you guys! It doesn’t matter who won, or the fact that I destroyed uncle cody, it’s just a game
Cody innocently: yeah, it doesn’t matter that that’s a complete lie, and I destroyed uncle Rex, because like he said, it’s just a game
Adelynn: *snorts*
Sirius jr: so…do we get our ice cream now, or…
*Dex walks over*
Dex Jettster (111605): Skywalkers! It’s always good to have you here
Obi Wan: hello there Dex, it’s always good to see you as well
Dex: and you as well my old friend, now I was just coming over to see if any of you would be interested in trying a new dessert menu item, on the house of course
All of the kids: YES
Adelynn: Free dessert, that’s a little hard to pass up, what is it?
Dex: it’s this new type of ice cream, you see recently I took a trip to the wizard world, and I discovered this type of ice cream they have there, made from this thing they call, Chocolate, so I figured I’d give it a try, so what do you say
Aurora: Considering Chocolate is my favorite ice cream, that’s going to be a yes!
All of the kids: ICE CREAM/OUS CWEAM!!!
Charlotte: and if you could make it a double scoop for these four that’d be great *gesturing to Sirius jr, Marlene, Hope and Hadrian* I promised them a while ago they’d get triple scoops
Dex: *laughs* of course, and I didn’t catch your name by the way
Charlotte: Charlotte, I’m Ben’s Sister
Dex: ah, so you’re Adelynn and Anakin’s cousin too then, good to know, I’ll be back with all of your ice cream and the bill *leaves*
Aurora: hey, Rosie, something I’ve been meaning to ask about, so I heard you were going to be helping Ben with his character sheet today, and I was wondering if you could help me and Sirius out too
Adelynn: actually, I was hoping to ask you the same thing, because me and Anakin have been kind of struggling to figure out how the hell to do this
Rosie: sure! But out of curiosity, who else needs help with their character sheets?
*All of the skywalkers who aren’t children raise their hands aside from Obi Wan and Padme*
Obi Wan: the only part I was struggling with was the background, what’s that supposed to be?
Rosie: alright, I’ll help you all, and trust me the background isn’t as hard as you think it is
Padme: how about this, after we drop the kids off in the apartment across the hall, for their sleepover, we can work on this in me and Ani’s apartment
Anakin: …out of curiosity, how many kids am I watching tonight after we finish the character sheets
Adelynn: well there’s hope and hadrian…
Aurora: …then Padsy and Snowflake…
Padme: and I can watch luke and leia
Obi Wan: and we can watch Shmi and Jacen
Anakin: so the Sirius jr, Marlene, and the H team, I can handle that
Hadrian dryly: we’re right here you know?
Hope dryly: Yeah, you’re making it sound like you’re watching babies
Anakin: sorry guys, you know that’s not what I meant
Adelynn: *muffles a snort*
*dex comes back with three trays each with five plastic bowls of ice cream, four with triple scoops, and the bill in his fourth hand as he sets down the bill then sets down the ice cream with spoons in them*
Obi Wan: thank you again Dex, it was very generous of you to offer us free dessert *pulls out the money needed to pay for dinner and pays*
Dex: of course, we’ve been friends for years, and You guys are some of my best customers on top of that, I hope you all enjoy your ice cream and have a great day
Adelynn: *smiling as she’s already taking a bite of ice cream* you too dex!
*dex leaves*
Ben: wait…isn’t this
Rosie: the type of ice cream I had you try when we had our first impromptu date on earth-x when you snuck out of the infirmary? Yep
Ben: *immediately takes a bite after hearing her*
Rosie: *laughs as she starts eating her ice cream*
Charlotte teasingly: you guys are counting that as your first date? Awwww
Ben dryly: Shut it char
Charlotte: No, I don’t think I will
*the multiversal bar*
Sara: well…at least things got better I guess
Kara: yeah, now they’re just heading back to the apartments, but quick question, why’re we still watching this?
Sara: honestly, you might have a point *about to hand over the remote to oliver
*a breach opens up and deadpool walks through it holding a book*
Deadpool/Wade Wilson: Hey there sugar bears!
Kara: …what did you just call us?
Sara: What the HELL is SLADE doing here? *stands up and pulls out her retractable staff*
Deadpool: easy there sugar bear, the name’s Deadpool, I’m not Deathstroke
Sara: WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!?!
Oliver: Sara, Breathe, he does this to everyone, and he’s not lying, Sara, Kara, meet Wade Wilson of earth-infinity, and as much as I’d love for you to kill him, unfortunately you can’t, he has a healing factor similar to yours, Wade, meet Kara Danvers, and Sara Lance from Earth-Prime
Sara: …shit… *sits back down*
Deadpool: nice to meet you both sugar bears
Kara: please stop calling us that
Deadpool: that’s gonna be a no, sorry
Oliver: he does it to everyone, the only one who she doesn’t do it to as much anymore is this one person from earth-x, and Charlotte because of the one person from earth-X
Deadpool: That's right!
Oliver: so, why’re you here wade?
Deadpool: none of your damn business, I just need you to open up the breach to Coruscant-111605, jedi temple
Oliver: …why?
Deadpool: because fuck you, that’s none of your damn business, I have business to take care of
Oliver: *flips him off as he opens the breach*
Deadpool; thanks Olliiiiiieeeee *runs through the breach*
Kara slowly: Well he was…
Barry slowly: I know, he’s…
Sara dryly: an asshole?
Oliver: yep, unfortunately there’s not much I can do about him
Sara: hang on…you let him call you Ollie?!
Oliver: I don’t LET him, he just does it, and there’s not much I can do about it
Sara: shit, considering I’m one of the few people whos actually allowed to call you that, I’d have kicked his ass for you if you’d have told me
Oliver: thanks, but now we HAVE to keep watching, I REALLY don’t trust him outside of his own universe…
*a little later inside Anakin and Padme’s apartment*
Adelynn: alright, the twins are all across the hall, are we sure this was a good idea?
Padme: don’t worry, they’ll come here if they need anything, and besides *grabs her datapad off the counter and shows it to Adelynn* I have my emergency security cameras just in case, Luke, Leia, do you two want to play with shmi
Luke and Leia: YAY, C’mon Shmi!
*the three kids go running to luke and leia’s room*
Adelynn: *moves jacen’s stroller to next to the chair she’s sitting at in the large dining room table*
*rosie and ben walk in*
Rosie: alright, I grabbed my character sheet from ben’s room, and ben’s sad attempt at a character sheet, as well as a couple other blank ones just in case
Ben: Hey!
Rosie: I love you Ben, but it’s because I love you, that I’m telling you, this was sad. Now, let’s get started *puts the folder with the character sheets in it on the table*
Charlotte: but before we do, something you should know, *looking her in the eye* if you Ever, and I mean EVER hurt my brother, no universe will be safe do you hear me, I will find you *pulling out her lightsaber* I will cut you up into tiny pieces, and scatter those pieces across the multiverse where no one will ever find them
Rosie: *with the most unimpressed look on her face pulls out her lightsaber* i have one too
Charlotte: I didn’t get to number one on the first order wanted list for seven years straight by being shit at fighting and not coming through with my threats
Rosie casually: And I’m the oldest of the Weasley cousins, meaning I’ve Been in the same place you are right now MANY times, and have kicked the asses of those who’ve broken my cousin’s hearts, and I’m a high ranking Auror, wizard cop, which I also didn’t get to by being shit at fighting and not knowing how to deal with threats, who also knows more about your family than I’m guessing you do, sooo…
Charlotte: …You think you know more about my family than I do?!
Rosie bluntly: name three battles anakin fought in before becoming vader
Charlotte: ….the malevolence…geonosis…….oh and Coruscant! …damn, I’m surprised the imperial archives were helpful
Rosie: okay…who was the jedi that found Anakin bringing him to the order?
Charlotte: Uncle Luke said it was Obi Wan’s Master…does that count
Roise: his name was Qui Gon Jinn but fine…how old was Anakin when he came to the order?
Charlotte: uhhh…wait…skywalker in podracing…nine!
Rosie: alright, here’s a good one, what is the name of the woman Luke married, or I guess considering your universe more follows the disney timeline they probably just dated
Ben and Charlotte: WHAT?!
Rosie: Maybe it was an affair? Again I’m not entirely sure what is was but he definitely at least dated her
Ben: HE WHAT?!?!
Charlotte: WHAT IN THE EMPEROR’S BLACK BONES?!
Rosie: yeah, I actually talked to Oliver about it once, in a lot of universes they actually got married
Charlotte: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!?!
Ben: ………is she in the imperial archives? Or the first order Archives?
Charlotte; She might be in the imperial archives, i’m not sure if she still would be in your time, and odds are there’d be nothing about her and luke in there
Ben: …Uncle Luke…had a girlfriend…
Charlotte slowly: …wait…did she have red hair?
Ben: …yes…
Charlotte: HOLY SHIT WE MET HER
Ben: WE DID?!
Charlotte: SHE WAS ONE OF THE LITTLE JEDI CAMP TEACHERS!!
Ben; *realizes* …wait a second…UNCLE LUKE WAS HOOKING UP WITH MISS MARA?!?!
Rosie: yep, that’s her alright, Mara Jade, in most universes, skywalker
Charlotte: HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Ben: ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!?!
Rosie innocently: considering Sirius is my dad, that’s gonna be a HARD pass, besides, I’m pretty sure you know who it is I’m fucking
Charlotte: OH COME ON!!
Sirius: …okay, you’re definitely my alt universe daughter…
Adelynn: *covering jacen’s ears as he’s in the stroller* guys, Jacen’s falling asleep, could we quiet down a little and pull back from the profanity, I know this is weird coming from me but still
Rosie: sorry about that Charlotte…everyone…
Padme; …if you want you can move the stroller to me and Ani’s room, I should still have Luke and Leia’s old baby monitors so we can see if he wakes up that way, so he can sleep in peace
Adelynn: good idea
*they both leave to padme and Anakin’s room then come back with a baby monitor*
Charlotte: …okay…as hard as it is for me to say this…you win…you know more…
Rosie: Thank You
Charlotte: But out of curiosity, Rosie, you said our universe is closer to the “disney” timeline, what the hell is that supposed to mean?
Rosie: right, in Star Wars, the series you’re all based off of, there’s two versions of the future after Return of the Jedi–I mean, after the battle of endor, the disney version, or the legends version, the Disney version includes a couple of tv shows and the not so great sequel movies, starring, Ben, Finn, and Rey, the the legends version is a series of books, Comics, and video games that take place in a VERY different future, for one, Han and Leia had three kids, another difference being Luke got married to Mara Jade and had a son
Charlotte: WHAT?!
Ben: …I wonder what other universes there are in the multiverse like our universe…
Deadpool: *out of nowhere slams a book onto the dining room table*
Almost everyone there; AH
Rosie: JESUS FUCKING CHRIST WHERE THE HELL DID YOU COME FROM?!?!
Deadpool: What’s going on, sugar bears! You asked about alternate universes, have I got a story for you
Charlotte: STOP CALLING ME SUGAR BEAR
Deadpool: I called ALL of you sugar bear, don’t think you’re special char char
Charlotte snarkily: …does that mean I can call you wadesy then?
Ben completely lost: What the hell is this even about…and what is that?
Deadpool: *pulling out a gun* you can call me whatever you want, dickhead, asshole, fucktard, but do NOT call me wadesy…and it’s a book genius
Anakin: HEY LEAVE MY ALT UNIVERSE GRANDKIDS ALONE YOU PIECE OF OSIK
Ben dryly: …that doesn’t look like the books we have so fuck off
Deadpool: She started it space jesus, and cool your jets, as long as she doesn’t say it again, we’re fine, but as for the book, that’s right, I forgot, you don’t really use paper in your galaxy, but spidey sent over paper character sheets for you…I’m chalking this all up to shitty writing
Rosie still lost: …that’s…a story about an alternate universe?
Deadpool: one starring bennyboo, shooty, char char, the “skywalker” that buried the skywalker saber in SAND, and one of only three black men to be a central or even semi-central character in the star wars movie
Anakin slowly: That…doesn’t make sense…
Charlotte dryly: And what are you talking about burying a saber in sand? I kept that shit
Deadpool: oh, I’m not talking about you, I’m talking about another skywalker from another universe, one that some may really argue isn’t really a skywalker to begin with, it is someone you know though, brown hair, light skin, trained by your uncle when he was being a whinier bitch than usual
Charlotte dryly: I know exactly who you’re talking about you dick, leave her alone
Deadpool: Hey, I’m just pointing out the fact she did it in another universe where you didn’t exist…and is technically a palpatine, but moving on, it also stars Space Jesus, and the man from space who looks like Jesus
Adelynn dryly: andddd I’m ignored got it
Charlotte: but how are we existing when grandpa Anakin and Obi Wan are alive?!
Deadpool brightly: Time travel, Char Char!
Rosie dully: Ugggggggh not this AGAIN
Deadpool: relax, you’re not doing it, you’re just reading about it this time, but if you wanna know the deets you’re gonna want to give it a ready, I don’t do extreme spoilers
*literally just as padme’s about to grab the book, barry runs through a breach and takes it*
Everyone else there: HEY
Barry: Sorry guys, Oliver sent me to get this, didn’t really say why though
Ben slowly: …can oliver give us the brief summary?
Barry: You'd have to ask him…*opens the book and looks at the author name of the section featuring of the story wade was talking about* …hang on…I know this name…why do I know this name…?
Deadpool dryly: because it’s the name of the cheesy fanfic author Cisco likes speedy!
Charlotte confused: you mean the person who wrote me…?
Adelynn: …and Me…?
Aurora: And me?
Deadpool: don’t forget padawan-in-law to the guy from space that looks like jesus, the second case of her parents forgetting to wrap before they tapped, oh and all four of the kids of female space jesus, and man from space that looks like jesus, as well as a shitton more
Rosie dryly: Oh for merlin’s sake, Really Deadpool!
Barry: That's right! That’s her! I forgot about that…
Adelynn dryly: I’m not exactly sure I like my writer given what happened on umbara
Allana: yeah same!
Deadpool: I mean I don’t either, again cheesy as hell shit, but if it makes you feel better she’s leaving fives and echo alive and experimented on, and anakin doesn’t turn evil in her final version of your story
Everyone from Coruscant originally: WHAT?!
Deadpool: which part is most shocking
Adelynn: ALL OF IT
Rosie dryly: …jesus that’s a lucky break that your author likes you…I have a bone to pick with the original author of my family…
Deadpool: I mean considering she wrote your universe where you exist and Iris fixes the shit the transphobic bitch wrote, I’d say she likes you too
Rosie dryly: NOT THAT AUTHOR, THE FIRST ONE WHERE MY DAD DIED
Deadpool: yeah, that’s the transphobic bitch, you’re not the only one with a bone to pick with her
Rosie: huh…
Padme: this is a very strange conversation
Barry: yeah, that applies to our universe too, unfortunately your writer, well not YOUR writer, but the writer of the harry potter series is–
Deadpool slowly bluntly: A transphobic B.I.T.C.H. BITCH
Rosie: Well okay then…
Charlotte innocently: …So thanks for the book, wadesy, but odds are we’re not going to end up reading it, because, you know…
Deadpool darkly: don’t. Call me that.
Charlotte dryly: who died that used to call you that?
Deadpool: just some asshole I used to know
Charlotte dryly: *looking at anakin* At least it’s not your FATHER
Anakin: It was an accident! How was I supposed to know!
Ben: …am I missing something?
Adelynn slowly: earlier today, Anakin called her Lottie…
Ben: …oh…
Deadpool: you say at least it wasn’t my father, but you see the thing is, it was
Anakin slowly: …but you said it was just some asshole you used to know…
Deadpool: yeah, the asshole who’d beat me as a kid whenever I fucked up till I had black eyes and blue bruises, AND my mother, and made SURE That first thing out of high school I signed up for the military
*silence*
Adelynn dryly: your foot in mouth syndrome has really been flaring up you know that Ani, because three times in one day is a lot even for you
Anakin: …sorry…wow, never thought i’d be saying sorry to deadpool
Deadpool; it’s fine, I got my getback, it’s a long story
Barry: Well I should probably go… *uses his extrapolator to open a breach*
Deadpool: Not so fast Speedy!
Barry: *starts to run to the breach*
Deadpool: *whips out a pistol and shoots him with a bullet that goes at superspeed, hitting barry in the leg as he is launched through the breach at superspeed*
Most of the room: WHAT THE FUCK WADE?!
Adelynn: …did you just SHOOT BARRY?!
Deadpool: speedster bullets, been waiting a while to get the chance to try that one, he stole my book, and I’m going to get it back, YIPPEE KI YAY MOTHERFUCKER, CA-NA-DA, CA-NA-DA…*sprints through the breach as it closes behind him*
Rosie: …He’s Canadian…suddenly SO many things make sense…
Ahsoka slowly: …Barry will be fine, right?
Allana: yeah, definitely, he just ran to the multiversal bar, Oliver’s territory…he’ll be fiiiine
Rosie: should we just move on?
Charlotte: that might be for the best,
Rosie: okay, I can see almost everyone’s character sheets are blank except for Padme and Obi Wan’s, would you guys mind passing those to me?
*Padme and Obi Wan pass their sheets*
Rosie: *looking them over* Okay, these are really good, and not bad names either, and these sketches are pretty good too! And with this we now have an example of each of the three races you can be, Dwarf *shows off Obi Wan’s Character sheet* Human *shows off Padme’s* and Elf *pulls out hers from the folder and shows it off* alright, and, again, I’m sorry for this love, but you knew this was coming, *pulls out ben’s* this is an example of what NOT to do
Charlotte: *bursts into laughter*
Rosie: rule one of making a character sheet, if making one on paper, DO NOT USE PEN, so who here needs a pencil?
*everyone but padme, obi-wan, and aurora raises their hands*
Rosie: …you’re lucky I brought a pack of pencils *pulls a pack of mechanical pencils out of her purse* take one, pass it around, I’m also passing around extra blank character sheets if you need a new one *passes to Ben*
*they pass the pencils and sheets around*
Aurora: These aren’t pencils?
Rosie: *remembering she’s a pureblood wizard* they’re mechanical pencils, like pens, but with pencil lead inside, if ones tip breaks or runs out, press the eraser down again
Aurora: huh…
Rosie: alright, we’ll discuss race later, first things first, pick your class,
Cody: right, I understood about none of the things in the video that parker kid sent, so you’re going to have to explain that
Rosie: alright, so your character class is going to determine both what you can do in and out of battles in game, with the main thing being how you can fight, so, let’s start with four big classes being Rogue, Wizard, Fighter and Cleric, Wizard, None of you should play wizard, it is one of the hardest classes to play as a newbie
Sirius: …but aren’t we actual wizards?
Rosie: Trust me ghost dad, it’s the worst one for you guys to start with, so I’m gonna go ahead and talk about the other ones first, first we have rogue, these are versatile characters who are very stealthy and skilled in combat, they also tend to be very good at schmoozing and disguising themselves
Adelynn: I think I found my class *writes it down in the class section of the character sheet*
Rex: yeah, same here *does the same*
Charlotte: and I also definitely just found poe’s class
Rosie: next we have our fighters, our people who are VERY new to D&D, and want to fight EVERYTHING…and before certain people, I’m looking at you Anakin, start filling stuff in, I have another one that might work better for the people who could be fighter class that I’ll get to later, then there’s Clerics, often played by players who want to explore the Gods, Players who want to heal and support, players who HATE the undead, or players who would like to perform the miraculous…anyone? Nobody? Okay then, Sorcerers, for players who want to have the reality-shaping cosmic power of a wizard but aren't too keen on the whole “books” thing. Sorcerers come with innate powers and the potential for a dramatic backstory that might include a divine ancestor or a traumatic childhood experience. Basically less complicated wizards, way easier to play
Aurora jokingly: Childhood trauma?! That’s right up my alley
Rosie: …now that I’m thinking about it there are SO many people in here that probably need therapy…
Charlotte dryly: I don’t need therapy
Anakin: yeah, neither do I
Rosie under her breath: okay, suuuuuure you don’t…*outloud* okay, now, I’m gonna go ahead and skip artificer and warlock and go to my personal favorite class, Ranger, Warriors of the wilderness, rangers specialize in hunting the monsters that threaten the edges of civilization—humanoid raiders, rampaging beasts and monstrosities, terrible giants, and deadly dragons. They learn to track their quarry as a predator does, moving stealthily through the wilds and hiding themselves in brush and rubble. Rangers focus their combat training on techniques that are particularly useful against their specific favored foes…Nobody?! Missed opportunity on all of your ends…alright, next we have Padme’s class, Paladin, pious warriors who stand for good and justice. known for being durable, powerful, and self-sufficient, and for offering a helping hand to those in need while also destroying evil. Paladins should be highly moral, courageous, compassionate, and honest. They may also take oaths for glory, redemption, or vengeance.
Cody: that sounds nice to me *writes it down*
Ahsoka: oh, that’s definitely my class *does the same*
Rosie: also skipping Monk because odds are the only one here who would be a monk is Obi-Wan, and none of you would likely be druids…and now for the one I was talking about earlier for the fighters, Barbarians, strong warriors who use their rage for the battlefield. It’s definitely one of the easier classes for new players to learn, good for people who want to smash things, they’re good with all weapons, especially melee, and are proficient in, animal handling, athletics, intimidation, nature, perception, and survival
Adelynn: I swear to force Anakin, if you don’t put that down, that will be the biggest bullshit I have ever seen come from you
Anakin dryly: yeah, yeah, I’m doing it *writes it down*
Allana: smashing things is fun…*does the same*
Charlotte: yeah, ben you better do that too
Ben: don’t worry, I already did
Rosie: yeah…and finally we have the Bard class, for people who are charismatic or like to improvise, Bards can have a lot of roles, from support to offensive, and have access to spells, status effects, and offensive feats. A role is especially suited for those who appreciate music, poetry, romance, insults, or innuendos
Charlotte immediately: Yep, I’m a bard *immediately writes it down*
Right, next you’re going to pick your race, human, elf or dwarf, normally there are a lot more options to choose from, but for some reason peter said for this one we can only choose one of the three
Anakin: Padme, you chose human, right? I’ll choose the same *writes it down*
Rosie innocently: I mean, that’s fine…assuming you want the basic option…
Ben: What did you choose again, love?
Rosie: Elf…
Ben: *writes down elf*
*everyone starts debating on what races to choose*
*meanwhile at the multiversal bar, a little earlier*
Sara, Kara, and Oliver: *watching Barry run off then get shot by deadpool* BARRY
*the breach opens up as barry runs through it and falls to the ground dropping the book in his hand*
Kara: Barry! *speeds over to him* are you alright??
Barry: *breathing heavy on the ground* I think I–ARGGHH *in pain*
Sara: what the hell was that he shot at you?!
Barry: I don’t kn–AHH *in pain* I can’t move…why can’t I move my body?!
Oliver: I got this *uses his powers to remove the bullet and speed up his speed healing*
Barry: thanks…but I still can’t feel my left leg…
Oliver: *picks up the bullet then drops it in a burning pain* AH
Deadpool: *walking through the breach on the other side of him* Speedster bullet, laced with antimatter, so your powers won’t heal him, but now that the bullet’s out, he should be back to normal in three…two…one!
Barry: AHHHH *feels immense pain then gets back up* …what the Hell wade?!
Deadpool: Nobody steals from Deadpool…
Sara: oh, you’re going to pay for that *pulls out her retractable staff*
Deadpool: Bring it Blondie *pulls out two guns*
Kara: she’s not alone *whips off her glasses causing her supergirl suit to form around her*
Barry: *charges his ring and runs into his suit*
Deadpool: okay then, Bring it BlondIES
Oliver: four on one wade, you don’t want to do this *all of a sudden a breach opens by wade and Remy walks through it in a suit*
Remy LeBeau/Gambit: Oliver! Gambit gon’ need you to open me a breach real quick, to Earth-62406– Deadpool? Barry? Mais, what the hell did I just walk into?!
Deadpool: I know we’re not exactly the best of friends right now, after I sent assassins after you to get my money but–
Remy dryly: Ain’t that the understatement of the century, but go on sha
Deadpool: I invoke Thieves code
Remy: Right Now?!?!
Deadpool sarcastically: no, a week from now, YES RIGHT NOW REMY
Remy: But Sha, I had a date I have to–
Deadpool: Thieves. Code.
Remy: *sighs dryly* fine…frost’s gon’ kill me… *pulls out his wand as he casts a spell that causes his metal staff to form around it * What’s the sitch, mon amis?
Deadpool: these four are trying to fight me, you’re helping me out
Remy: You’re trying to fight Oliver?! Are you out’ your damn mind?
Deadpool: No I’m not…because I know how to even the odds *pulls out his purple Anti-SpecPhone and uses it to message Steve *
Steve /Anti-Spectre: *appears in a flash of purple light holding a guitar* What's going on wadsey?! This better be important, because I was just about to win a guitar riff off against BB King!
Deadpool: yeah, don’t fucking call me that, but do you remember that favor you said you owed me after I helped you out a couple days ago when you showed up on earth-infinity?
Steve: Yeah?
Deadpool: well I’m calling it in, help me fight these four douchebags
Barry dryly: YOU shot ME
Remy: hold up there sha, you SHOT Speedy?!
Deadpool: not important, thieves code remember?
Remy: *sighs dryly as he’s battle ready*
Steve : I don’t know…I’m not a big fan of fighting friends man, I can if I absolutely have to, but I really don’t want to…
Deadpool: You owe me, besides, you said your job is to offset the shit dollar store hawkeye does right?
Steve : by causing chaos, right
Deadpool: well fighting with me, would offset his side
Steve : *sighs dryly* fine, but only because I owe you…I’m sorry guys, I REALLY don’t want to do this, but he’s right, I owe him, and I always pay my debts
Sara: who the hell are YOU?!
Steve : Right, we haven’t met yet officially, Kara Zor-El, Sara Lance, the name’s STEVE I’m also known as the Anti-Spectre
Kara: the Anti-Spectre??
Oliver: he’s supposed to be my opposite, oddly enough, he’s not evil, neither is Remy, or Deadpool, although morally gray, he’s still not evil, so can we at least try not to hurt Steve and Remy too much
Sara: fine, but Deadpool, you’re getting your ass kicked
Remy: mais, ain’t you that guy that started making nazis slip on pies during the battle for the multiverse
Steve : that was me, but, before we do this, let’s make this a fair fight shall we *plays a chord on his electric guitar and a purple blast of energy is emitted and suddenly Oliver’s in his green arrow outfit* no energy blasts, just arrows, *the guitar disappears and he pulls out of thin air a glowing purple european longsword*
Kara: Is that a lightsaber?
Steve : Nope, Oliver has his Spectral bow, and I have my Anti-Sword
Oliver: Are we really doing this?
Deadpool: you guys back down and we won’t have to
Sara and Kara: YOU SHOT BARRY
Deadpool: FOR STEALING FROM ME FOR OLIVER, AND I’D DO IT AGAIN
Steve : …Show of hands who thinks this is a BAD idea *barry, Oliver, and Steve all raise their hands*
Sara: But HE SHOT YOU!!
Barry; yeah, but Remy’s a friend, and Steve isn’t that bad of a guy, and Deadpool–
Sara: nope, we’re doing this
Deadpool: Steve, Dollar store Hawkeye, I’ll take birdbrain, Gambit, you get the Speedy and the Superbimbo
Kara: What did you just Call me?! *her eyes start glowing blue*
Remy: sha, i think you, might be fighting miss Zor-El here, you know Gambit don’t fight ladies, besides, she seems a lot more mad at you than me
Kara: *fires her heat vision*
Remy: *uses his powers to charge his staff while spinning it to deflect the heat vision*
*all of a sudden a breach opens and Frost storming through it in a long ice blue dress*
Frost pissed: Oliver! I need you to breach me to earth-111605, I need to kill R–*sees remy deflecting Kara’s heat vision* REMY?!?!
Remy: *while deflecting heat vision* Hey there Snowflake…I was on my way, believe me, but then I got a little preoccupied…
Frost: oh HELL no, Nobody hurts my man, Bitch *ice blasts Kara*
Kara: *pushed back then shakes off the ice*
Sara: Frost?? I thought She was Dead?!
Remy: thank you for the assistance there Cher
Frost: anytime Rem, let’s take these guys down
Oliver; Earth-Infinity’s version of her, although she lives on earth-62406 now
Deadpool: YIPPEE KI YAY MOTHERFUCKER *fires two pistol shots at Sara*
Sara: *dodges one but gets hit by the other but regenerates then charges at wade with her bo staff*
Deadpool: *switches out his guns and pulls out a sword and slashes at Sara*
Barry: *dodging hit after hit from Remy from his staff* Remy *dodges another hit* I know you don’t want to do this… *dodges a hit* we can talk about this! *dodges another hit*
Remy: You’re right, I don’t *tries to hit him with his staff* but mais, it’s a part of the thieves code, when a fellow thief is in a fight, you gotta help ‘em out, that is unless that fight is against each other, but that goes without saying, sha
Barry: There’s a thieves code??
Remy: as the former leader of the thieves guild, and one of the best thieves in the multiverse, I can say with confidence, yes, there is, so sorry about doing this, but I gotta do what I gotta do
Barry: doing wh–
Remy: *throws two low charged playing cards at Barry, creating a minor explosion that launches him back across the room into a wall* Sorry again Barry! Hope we can still be friends when this is over mon amis!
Oliver: *fires several arrows at Steve * I’ve been wanting to do this since you put me into a forced musical number last week
Steve : *uses his sword to block the arrows* oh calm down Oliver, it was fun! Besides, this is so stupid! I know way easier ways we could’ve settled this fight! IT’S OVER A BOOK FOR CHRIST’S SAKE!!
Oliver dryly: Shut it Steve , it’s more than that and you know it
Steve : What? Is it then, The fact you’re not supposed to show people universes too similar to their own? Hate to break it to you, but you’ve already done that…a lot
Oliver; I know that, but you know what was in that book could’ve changed everything *fires more arrows*
Steve : maybe it could’ve, maybe it wouldn’t have, you don’t know that
Oliver; *fires more arrows at Steve *
Steve : *Blocks them with his sword then runs and slashes at oliver*
Oliver: *uses his bow to block it*
Steve : Alright, fine, if we’re going to do this, let’s at least do it right… *kicks him back as he pulls out his phone and types something in, and suddenly a speaker appears, and ...Baby one more time by Brittney spears starts playing* …fighting people with powers to a pop song, I can finally check that one off the list of things to do with
*meanwhile back on coruscant-111605, Anakin and Padme’s apartment*
Rosie; and with that, congratulations, you’ve all finished making your character sheets
Adelynn: thanks again for doing this Rosie
Rosie: of course, it was no problem, however I would like my dice set back please, whoever had it last
Ben: that’d be me, here you go love *hands over her dice pouch*
Rosie; thank you love *puts it back in her purse as well as her folder* now, all that’s left is to get these to oliver so he can send these to peter
Charlotte; now, I know I plan to keep mine so I can show Poe, Finn, and Rey how to do theirs, but I could take the others back to Oliver, on my way back
Ben: are you leaving already?
Charlotte: yeah, but Ben, it’s been great seeing you, Rosie, it was nice re-meeting you, and it’s been great seeing all of you, and Ben, call me whenever you want, really, I promise from now on, I’ll try to pick up more
Ben: *smiles softly* I will
Charlotte: *gets up, collects their sheets, then opens a breach and walks through it*
Ben: Well then, we should probably get going too
Rosie: he’s right, we had plans, we need to get back to
Ben: yeah, we’ll see you all later *they both leave out of Anakin and Padme’s apartment*
Adelynn: And now that we’re done with that, Guess what, Ani?
Anakin: It's time for me to go play with the kids?
Adelynn: Yep!
Aurora: we’ll just pop over and say bye before we head off too
Obi Wan: that sounds good, we should probably check on the kids too just in case...
*multiversal bar*
Steve : *dodges more arrows as a breach open* oh shit…or maybe…hmm *comes up with an idea and uses his powers to freeze everyone in time, except for Barry*
Barry: *realizes everyone’s frozen*…what the hell is going on?!
Steve : listen Barry, between the two of us, I think what’s going on is complete and total bullshit, and I think you feel the same way, so I have an idea on how to stop this, but I need you to trust me
Barry: okay, what’s the plan
Steve : When whoever comes through that breach comes through, I’m going to run through it, and you’re going to run behind me, now we have to be quick, I can’t freeze Oliver for too long seeing as we’re at equal power just different creativeness with our powers, do you understand the plan?
Barry: okay
*charlotte walks through the breach*
Charlotte: Hey Oli–
Steve : NOW BARRY, NOW *he runs towards the breach tackling charlotte through it as the breach changes to the color purple*
Barry: *quickly runs through the breach*
*the moment they leave time unfreezes and the fight, continues*
*Earth-X, Los Angeles, The resistance base, Lucifer’s Penthouse*
Lucifer Morningstar:*sitting at on the couch* and that’s the plan
Christian Chance: So you want me to act like I’m the new club owner of Lux?
Lucifer: What? No! You’re going to be the bartender, reporting to me in case if anything goes wrong, working with the person I’m going to have act as if they’re the new owner of lux, don’t worry the person who I’ve chosen to act as the owner is someone I have the utmost trust in, he should actually be arriving shortly, you two, at the moment are the first of the staff I’m hiring for Lux’s reopening, *they hear the elevator ding in the room* now for the man who’ll be playing the role of club owner, I believe you’re familiar with Agent Thunderbird
Christian: Aaron?! *turns to the elevator as Aaron comes out*
Aaron Tveit: *steps out of the elevator and sees christian on the couch with Lucifer* Christian? What’re you doing here?!
Lucifer: yes, Aaron, you’re familiar with Agent Tapster, I mean you’d have to be considering you two are some of the few Luci’s Angels that have been friends since childhood
Aaron: What's this about Lucifer?
Lucifer: right, come, sit, have a drink *pours him a glass of whiskey*
Aaron: okay? *goes and sits on the chair next to the couch and takes the glass* So again, what’s this about?
Lucifer: So you know how I’ve been working on reopening Lux?
Aaron confused: yes?
Lucifer: well, I’ve been looking for someone to pretend to be the owner of Lux, since we obviously can’t say its me, because if we did, that’d give away the fact this is a resistance base
Aaron: okay…now when you say you want me to pretend to be the club owner, do you mean as an actor? Or as an Angel?
Lucifer: both, I need you to act the part so no one gets suspicious about this place, and you, and a couple of others, to be determined, will also act as spies for any nazis that come in, just looking for a good time
Aaron: Okay, I guess I’ll do it, but out of curiosity, is the whole staff going to be agents of Luci’s angels or…?
Lucifer: well, not necessarily, you see, you can pick from anyone from the base, as long as you’re comfortable knowing that you’re an angel
Aaron: back-up…you’re letting ME pick the rest of the staff??
Lucifer: *laughs softly* Well, you are the “Owner” aren’t you? It only make sense that you head the Lux operation, and pick your team
Aaron: And everyone I pick…I have to out my secret “Angel” status to them?
Lucifer: right, that part…yes, because the rest of the staff, they’ll be your team and it’ll be their job to report to you if they hear about anything important, just remember to come up with aliases for everyone
Aaron: alright…
Lucifer: well then, congratulations Agent Thunderbird *shakes his hand* you are now the new owner of Lux, don’t worry, I’ll take care of redesigning the place, and the speedster siblings have agreed to run around the city and put up signs for Lux once we’re ready to open, I’ll send you a message with all of the jobs that need to be filled, and remember, make sure you have some fun with this, it’ll be necessary if we really–
*all of a sudden a purple breach opens and Steve and Charlotte come tumbling out of it over Lucifer’s glass table, breaking it, and Barry runs through it after them as it closes behind him*
Lucifer, Charlotte, Aaron, and Christian: what the fuck?!?!
Steve : *gets up wiping the glass off of him* sorry about scuffing up your floor Lucifer, but we got a little bit of a situation at the multiversal bar, and we need your help
Charlotte: *getting up doing the same* What the– Steve?! Barry?! What the fuck is going on here?! And why the fuck did you just TACKLE ME?!?!
Lucifer: yes, I too would like to know that, and why the bloody hell you just entered through a breach over my glass table
Steve : listen, considering that, what we just came out of was a spectral portal that I managed to redirect from universe-111605, which shouldn’t even be possible, we should consider ourselves lucky it came out INSIDE the penthouse, or even on the right earth
Charlotte and Barry: What?!
Charlotte: *sees all the character sheets scattered and ripped up* oh c’mon! It took us almost two hours to finish those sheets!
Lucifer: I believe I could fix that, now lets see if I can get this spell right…*lucifer’s eyes glow red* reparatione charta! * the papers float into the air and repair themselves then float into her hands as Lucifer’s eyes return to normal* …if you’d like I could get you a folder for those?
Charlotte: …thanks… Okay, now that that’s fixed…Steve?! You better start talking quickly, what the hell I was about to walked in on that warranted you just tackled me through a breach, and why the fuck we’re on earth-X
Steve : okay, oh but real quick… *uses his powers to create a folder for charlotte which the papers are put into* So you know how Wadsey shot Barry?
Charlotte: yeah?
Steve ; right, well, what he forgot was on the other side of that breach was Oliver, Kara, and Sara, three VERY powerful people, who are all VERY protective of the people they care about, then, after that happened, Remy, he showed up because he was trying to get to earth-62406 for a date
Charlotte: hang on…ANOTHER Guardian hooked up with a weasley cousin
Steve : not exactly, Remy, was going on a date with Frost, and then Wadesy called me over to help him out because I owed him a favor, don’t ask, now a little bit into the fight, Kara was using her heat vision on remy, but he was using his charged bo staff to deflect it, while he was spinning the staff, when frost came in, ready to rip Remy a new one, she saw this, was pissed, ice blasted kara, and she joined the fight
Charlotte: …all this over a damn book?!
Lucifer: bloody hell…
Steve : now, I brought Barry here with us because out of all the people on team-Prime, he seems the least into this fight, which is especially weird since him getting shot is what started this fight
Barry: In my defense I thought this whole fight was dumb to begin with
Steve : AND HE’S THE ONE WHO GOT SHOT
Lucifer: and you’re here because…
Aaron: okay, sorry to interrupt, but I’m SUPER lost here, who are these people?! And why does one of them look like Barry Allen??
Lucifer: right, proper introductions, Steve, Charlotte, Barry, meet Aaron Tveit, and Christian Chance, one of our actors, and one of our resident bartenders, Christian, Aaron, meet Steve the Anti-Spectre, Charlotte Dameron from universe-364, and Barry Allen from Earth-Prime
Barry: Aaron Tveit…As in Christian from Moulin Rouge?!
Aaron: yes, that is One of the parts I've played…and asked and answer
Barry: dude, I am a HUGE musical fan, so it’s really cool getting to meet you
Lucifer: let me guess, he’s famous in your universe?
Barry: Yeah, he’s a Broadway actor, and also starred in one of my favorite but lesser known tv shows, Schmigadoon!
Steve : You really like musicals, don’t you barry?
Barry: well I used to watch them with my mom when I was a kid, so…
Steve : I guess that makes a bit more sense
Aaron: huh…
Lucifer: so again, why are you HERE
Steve : Because we need help, I have a plan, but we need someone who can hold down a kryptonian, and I can’t deal with both Oliver AND Kara at the same time
Lucifer: …so when you meant Kara, you meant Kara Zor-El??
Steve : THE one and only…of her universe
Lucifer: right, well of course I’ll help, because you three will clearly `need it
Steve : right, so here’s my plan, Barry, you de-weapon everyone, Charlotte, you’re dealing with Remy and Frost, Lucifer, you got Kara, I’ll handle Oliver, and Barry, after everyone has their weapons taken, your job is handling Sara and Wadsey
Barry: to do what exactly?
Steve : Restrain them, obviously, and while they’re restrained, we can have our peace talk
Lucifer; right, that sounds like a solid plan *stands up, goes to the piano and gets his cane from the bench* let’s do this, I’ll be back shortly boys, we can continue our discussion then
Aaron: hang on! We can help!
Lucifer: I’m afraid this fight’s a little out of your league *gives a look to christian and aaron* considering you’re just an actor, and a bartender…
Aaron: …right…
Steve : fine whatever, let’s just get this mierda over with already *uses his powers and they disappear in a flash of purple light*
*back in the multiversal bar*
* Steve , Lucifer, Barry, and Charlotte appear*
Remy: Mais, you back! And you brought friends! *dodging an arrow from oliver*
Sara: no, Barry’s with them, this is OUR backup
Lucifer: actually, it’s neither…Barry, would you like to begin?
Barry: on it *speeds around and takes everyones weapons and puts them in a large pile*
Charlotte: *uses the force to hold remy and frost in place so they can’t move*
Sara: uhh…Barry, you know you took my staff too, right?
Deadpool: yeah, not cool taking all of our weapons Speedy…also you somehow took, ALL my weapons…I wouldn’t recommend getting too close to that pile of weapons considering I have several explosives in there
Barry: Yeah, sorry about this guys, but you both need to calm down a little so we can talk this out so… STEVE
Steve : On it Barr! *throws him a purple rope which he uses to tie up deadpool*
Deadpool: Oh, What the hell?!
Sara: nice one Barr!
Barry: Thanks, and sorry… *pulls out the lantern ring he took from deadpool and uses it to create a bubble around Sara*
Sara: What the Hell?!
Barry: also back up, Deadpool, did you say you had bombs??
Deadpool: yep!
Lucifer: …hello, dear, the name’s Lucifer Morningstar, I’m guessing you’re Kara Zor-El
Kara: I am? Also I’m sorry did you say Lucifer Morningstar? Like the devil?
Lucifer: no one ever believes right off the bat, and while normally I hate catholics because of their worship to my father, or I guess now worship to my brother, which isn’t that bad, it just gave him a bit more of an ego, which isn’t the greatest but moving on, and bad portrait of me, but anyway I’m about to make a believer out of you
Lucifer: *uses his cane to swipe at her feet causing for her to slip and almost fall but catch herself by flying on her back* right I nearly forgot about that… *lucifer’s eyes glow red* magicae coercitionibus agebant in Kara Zor-El *red magical chains appear that chain Kara to a wall as his eyes return to normal color and Kara’s glow blue as she uses her heat vision on Lucifer: *after Kara finishes using her heat vision and he puts out the fire on his suit* Another bloody suit ruined because of you people, This was an armani, you know that?
Kara: but you’re–
Lucifer Bluntly: the devil, now tell me dear, what is it you truly desire? *mojoing her*
Kara: I…I…I, want this STUPID fight to just END already
Lucifer: we’re good here Steve!
Steve : and now it’s just us Oliver, now we could do the whole dramatic fight thing…or we could just do this *snaps his fingers and suddenly Oliver Slips on a pie* …alright, now that no one’s fighting anymore, we can talk peace, Barry’s not into this fight really, and neither was I, we know Kara’s out now that Lucifer Mojo’d her, I know Oliver just did this because you started the fight in his bar, Remy joined because of the thieves code, and Frost joined because Remy was in danger, which leaves…*walks over to Sara and Deadpool* You two…
Sara: HE SHOT. BARRY.
Deadpool: HE STOLE. FROM ME.
Steve : alright, I think I know a way to settle this argument, first we’re going to start with Wadesy saying SORRY to Barry…
Deadpool: if I say it will I be untied?
Steve : yes
Deadpool: …fine…I’m sorry for shooting you Speedy…
Steve : Now as for how we settle the issue of the book, I know a much easier way to settle this, Gambit, I know you’re a card guy, I know you have several decks of cards on you, could I see one?
Remy: Now, Gambit would love to do that sha, but I kind of can’t move right now…
Steve : Charlotte, you can let go now…
Charlotte: *does so*
Remy: *tosses the deck to Steve *
Steve : *takes it and uses his powers to make a second deck then snaps his fingers and they’re all gone in a flash of purple light*
*in some random room with a round table and ten chairs everyone suddenly appears and they’re all sitting down in a chair*
Steve : alright, now…*shuffling together two decks of cards he combined into one deck* …the game is Poker, Lucifer for the sake of this, you’re team Deadpool, Charlotte team spectre, everyone else is on the same team they started in the fight, one round, if someone from team spectre wins, Oliver gets the book, if someone from team Deadpool wins, Wade gets the book, no more fighting, and we all go home
Charlotte: …you know as someone who’s had to stop three, now four fist fights this week, I much appreciate this method of settling an argument, but one problem…I don’t know how to play…whatever poker is?
Remy: *gasps* How–
Steve : I got this *snaps his fingers uses his powers to make it so Charlotte knows how to play poker*
Charlotte: oh my force…Poker is just an Easier Sabacc…*cracks her knuckles* y’all are going down
Remy: Oh? A challenge…Game on Miss Dameron
Steve : *uses his powers to give everyone their cards and chips* I also gave everyone chips so we can actually play, now let’s do this…
*about ten minutes later*
Remy; I raise a hundred then, I call
Sara: …shit…I fold…
Kara: Same here…
Frost: I have faith in you remy, and I kind of have to because I have to fold too…
Steve : same here…which Leaves, Oliver, Lucifer, Wade, Barry, Charlotte, and Remy
Barry: count me out, I fold
Lucifer: as do I
*everyone who folds puts down their cards*
Oliver: alright, then *puts in a hundred chip*
Charlotte: *does the same* I’m still in
Deadpool: and you better believe I’m in *puts in his chip
Remy innocently: care to go first, mister queen?
Oliver: sure, full house *puts down his cards face up*
Deadpool smug as hell: HA, Four of a kind beats your full house Ollie! I’ll just take this if you don’t mind *about to grab the book in the center of the table*
Charlotte: not so fast Wade…your four of a kind is of fives…mine is of ACES *puts her cards down face up* …I WIN SUCKAS, SOLO FOR THE WIN
Remy: *laughs* well played cher, but you forgot one thing…four of a kind isn’t the highest hand possible…*puts his cards down face up* …A royal flush is, which means I win
Deadpool: Thank GOD, Remy, I could fucking Kiss you
Remy: ehhh…I’d rather not, there’s only one person who I’d like to be kissing right now
Frost innocently: …I think I could make that happen *kisses him*
Remy: *grins and kisses her deeply as they then break it* alright, how do we get out of here, mais
Steve : I’ve got this…*throws his cards in the air as they’re suddenly transported back to the bar*
Remy: cool trick
Deadpool: *holding his book* FUCK YEAH, Oliver, I’ll take one breach home
Oliver dryly: after today, Gladly *opens a breach and shoves him through it*
Remy: *holding a bag of chips* Steve ? Why is Gambit holding a bag of poker chips?
Steve : oh, when you get back to your universe, those chips are your winnings, and they will convert themselves to whatever currency you’re on so that would be pounds…
Remy: …are you telling me I just won Ten THOUSAND pounds?!
Steve : yep!
Everyone else there: WHAT?!
Frost jokingly: I’m dating a rich man now? I know we’re only in our thirties, but You better not try to ditch me for some twenty something bimbo-bitch and become a sugar-daddy
Remy: Mon Cher, I would never even dream of it…sorry by the way our date got ruined tonight, frosty
Frost: Ruined? I missed my fight night partner, and I just got to fight a bunch of people, and play poker after, you know, there’s only one thing that could make this evening better right now, and I think you know what it is…*quietly to remy* …and this dress is already messed up so it’ll make it easier for us to do it
Remy: oh…I like the sound of that, Oliver, if we could have a breach back to my house?
Oliver: *opens one*
Remy: much appreciated, mon amis *walks through the breach with frost in arm*
Kara: yeah, today’s been been a day, and I need to get back to, it’s been good seeing you, and meeting some of you
Oliver: *opens a breach*
Sara: yeah, I have some explaining to do to Ava about this, so I need to go too, great seeing you all *walks through the breach*
Barry: yeah, I’m gonna have to talk with Iris too about this incident, so, I should probably go too, great seeing you all! *runs through the breach as it closes behind him*
Charlotte: I need to get home too, but before I do *places the folder from before on the bar counter but first takes out her character sheet* Alright, these are some of the character sheets for the dnd thing Oliver, do you thing you could send them to peter? I’m keeping mine though, just so I can show poe what to do, same for finn and rey
Oliver: got it *opens a breach for her* there we go
Charlotte: thanks Oliver! …I just realized…I’ve walked into two completely awful situations today…and I can’t figure out which was worse…*shivers* well I’m just going to forget that and go home, Byyyyyeeeee *walks through it as it closes behind her*
Lucifer; which means I’m next, just drop me by the therapy office and I’ll find my way back to the penthouse from there
Oliver; *opens the breach*
Lucifer: thanks Oliver, I’ll see you later *walks through it as it closes behind him*
Steve : and then there were two…so…you trust me yet?
Oliver immediately: no…but I know you’re not evil…
Steve : That's more than I expected, but I’ll take it, but now I need to go back to my guitar riff-off with B.B. King, See ya *summons his electric guitar, plays a chord and disappears*
Oliver: *sits down in what is now a newly repaired chair and takes a sip of beer and sighs dryly* one day at a time Oliver…one day at a time…
Notes:
What WAS that book Deadpool had that Oliver was so concerned about that Deadpool now has back in his possession? Who knows, next chapter we have "Therapy with the Devil: Evelyn Tveit," but until then, this has been a padjake written story, now, Mischief Managed!
Chapter 6: Therapy With the Devil: Evelyn Tveit
Notes:
Alright, this chapter is as the title implies this is going to be Evelyn's therapy session, that will be a LOT more interesting than you think, all of the OCs in this fic will be, also Trigger warning: Mentions of SA and SH are in this chapter, as well as Racism, you have been warned, now on with the chapter
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
*in the hallway outside of Lucifer’s Therapy office, Earth-X, Resistance base*
Evelyn Tveit/Agent Diamond (x): *breathes as she’s pacing in front of the Door that reads therapy office, Morningstar, Lucifer * alright…here we go…Nope! *about to walk away*
Lucifer Morningstar/the Devil/Samael/The lightbringer (X): *through the intercom next to the door* Evelyn, I know you’re here, and I’m ready for you, so come on in
Evelyn under her breath: shit *reluctantly opens the door and walks into a large room, where she sees Lucifer sitting behind a desk, and a couple of couches in the room as well*
Lucifer: yes, shut the door behind you
Evelyn: *closes it and sits on the couch in front of Lucifer’s desk* …you know I’ve never actually been in here before, and I gotta say, this is a nice room…
Lucifer: oh I know you’ve never been in here before, if you had, I wouldn’t have had to threaten you by threatening to ban you from theatre, also, thank you for the compliments, but I didn’t decorate the room much, that was mostly the work of the previous therapist, MY therapist, Dr. Linda Martin, I left it mostly the same as she had it, as a sort of way to honor her after she died
Evelyn: huh… *dryly* also threatening to ban me from theater, that was a REAL asshole move by the way Luci, you know that right?
Lucifer: you know I was doing this just because I care
Evelyn: alright, yeah, yeah, Let’s just start talking about my mental shit already so you can punch my card and I get out of here…
Lucifer: *laughs* that’s not how this works…and if you could please refrain from referring to your mental health problems as…that…now let’s start with, why do you think you’re here today?
Evelyn dryly: because you threatened to ban me from theater if I didn’t come
Lucifer dryly: this doesn’t work if you don’t try to make it work, so I’ll ask again…why do you think you’re here today?
Evelyn innocently: so we can deal with my mental shit
Lucifer: we’re not going to move on until we get a real answer, so it’s best if you cooperate, please
Evelyn innocently: but I am giving you a real answer
Lucifer: why you–*grunts then takes a breath* Okay, maybe let’s try a different approach… *pulls out a walkie talkie* *dramatically* RELEASE THE THERAPY DOGS
Evelyn: Therapy Dogs?
*three very similar black dogs run in through a doggy door over to evelyn, but one of the dogs has a couple gray hairs, and another appears to be a ghost*
Evelyn: …what the hell is this luci?
Lucifer brightly: therapy dogs! What’s the matter? Not a dog person Evelyn?
Evelyn slowly: I…was not expecting this…but I am a dog person…where did you even get these three?? And why is one of them a ghost
Lucifer: …you have to promise not to freak out before I tell you…
Evelyn: …I promise I’ll try…
Lucifer casually: Right so, Padfoot-62406 is the one that has some gray hairs, padfoot-111605 is the ghost and Padfoot- 6246 is the third one…
Evelyn while scratching them behind the ears: …sorry I don’t have biscuits for you guys I wasn’t planning on company
Lucifer bluntly: *snorts loudly hearing* They likely wouldn’t eat them anyway
Evelyn: what? Are they allergic to them or something?
Lucifer slowly: not exactly…try giving them these! *goes into his desk and pulls out a bag of dog treats labeled Siri-snacks and tosses them to her*
Evelyn: Siri-snacks…? What are these?? Real life but knockoff scooby snacks?!
Lucifer cheerfully: Essentially…yes!
Evelyn; alright… *pulls out a dog treat* who wants a siri-snack!
*all three padfoots immediately look to her*
Evelyn: *laughs and gives them each of them a Siri-Snack* *quietly* I have a puppy back home if you want to sniff butts or whatever dogs want
*the three padfoots shake their heads*
Lucifer slowly: …were you around to meet Sirius Black of our Earth?
Evelyn: Tall, black hair, conventionally attractive, always ready for mischief, looks like he comes from money but hates even the slightest inclination of the fact?
Lucifer: yep that’s the one, now did you ever hear the name padfoot before today?
Evelyn: I think so…from Sirius’ wife
Lucifer: that would’ve been Aurora, okay, and did you know who it was she was referring to?
Evelyn: No…? *realizes* Oh you’re kidding me…THESE are Sirius?
Lucifer: yep, they’re all Animagi
Evelyn: …shit
Lucifer: it’s fine; they’re not allowed to tell anyone about what goes on in the therapy room per our agreement
Evelyn: …so you three are all Sirius Black…s…?
*all three padfoots nod*
Lucifer: care to prove it boys?
*all three padfoots turn back to their human form*
Sirius Malfoy-Black (111605): It’s malfoy-black in my case
Sirius Black (62406): and thanks for the treats by the way
Sirius Black (6246) innocently: and for calling us attractive
Evelyn; *flips him off while burying her head in her other hand*
Sirius (111605): *dramatic gasp*
Sirius (6246) dramatically: Well fine then, we’ll go back to being dogs then
*all three turn back with all three padfoots pouting*
Lucifer messing with her: Oh look at what you’ve done now, you’ve, you’ve made the dogs sad now
Evelyn dryly: Shut it Luci
Lucifer jokingly: it could be worse, I could’ve had one of the James Potters do it and we’d have therapy deer
Evelyn: Jesus…I think I’d accidentally get stabbed with antler
Lucifer: knowing them, you DEFINITELY would…so, let’s try this again, why do you think you’re here
Evelyn innocently; so we can deal with my mental shit!
Lucifer: …okay can we be more specific here…and stop referring to your mental health problems–
Evelyn innocently: my mental shit!
Lucifer: *winces slightly* …as that…*comes up with an idea* …you know I have an idea that might work… *pulls out his SpecPhone*
Evelyn: …what the hell is that?!
Lucifer: My SpecPhone, I’m using it to call a therapist friend of mine, who’s had a situation similar to this one
Evelyn innocently: what? A patient with you-like charm, who loves to mess with their friend slash boss slash forced therapist…also if we have another therapist in the resistance why am I seeing you?!
Lucifer innocently: no, I mean a patient extremely stubborn when it comes to accepting therapy, and frankly kind of annoying at times
Evelyn dryly: *flips him off* Fuck you Luci
Lucifer innocently: I’m a married devil remember? Also, to answer your previous question, the reason you’re seeing me instead of my friend, is because my friend, isn’t a part of the resistance, in fact she’s not even from this earth *goes through his contacts*
Evelyn: You have a friend who’s a therapist on another earth??
Lucifer: two, actually, both newer members of the multiversal guardians *finds the contact that reads AB-62406* ah here it is *calls Azalea*
Azalea Black (X): *picking up yawns* …Lucifer? What the hell are you calling me for? It’s bloody 2 in the morning!
Lucifer: …it’s 2 pm on my earth…
Azalea: it is?
Lucifer: I might have to talk with Oliver about resynicing the SpecPhones…but as for why I’m calling because I’m in session with a particularly stubborn patient I’m having trouble with getting to accept therapy, and if I could get you to come over that’d be great
Azalea: hmm…do think I could bring a patient of mine over, I think it’d really help, he had the same issue back when I first approached him about therapy
Lucifer: of course, bring him over, thank you
Azalea: thanks Lucifer
Lucifer: no, thank you Azalea for coming over, I’ll see you when you get here *hangs up
Evelyn: so…what now?
Lucifer: now…we wait…
*outside of the house of Regulus and Mary Black, Earth-62406*
Azalea: *knocking on the door* REGGIEEEEEE
Regulus “Reggie” Black (62406): *opens it yawing* Could you quiet down Azalea! It’s two thirty in the morning for merlin’s sake…
Azalea: sorry Reg…but I need your help with a patient…
Regulus: At two thirty in the morning?!
Azalea slowly: sort of…because technically it’s not two thirty in the morning…on their earth…
Regulus: …are you telling me you want me to do my first multiverse thing since first finding out about the multiverse…AND IT HAD TO BE IN TWO IN THE MORNING
Azalea: okay, this isn’t my fault, blame oliver for needing to resync the specphones–
Regulus: hang on, wasn’t the whole family supposed to get one because of Iris’ card thing, I still haven’t gotten mine! And neither has Mary! Hell, we didn’t even find out about Iris’ kids getting KIDNAPPED until Leo came to visit last week and he was telling us about his new girlfriend from Earth-Prime
Azalea: oh wow, we really have not been keeping you in the loop…alright, well on our way through to the multiversal bar, we can talk to Oliver about you getting your extrapolator and SpecPhone, so are you going to help me or not?
Regulus: *sighs dryly because he’s tired*…fine…just let me get my coffee first *closes the door leaves and comes back out with a giant mug of coffee*
Azalea: *pulls out her extrapolator and opens a breach*
Regulus: …hey, this breach won’t effect my coffee, right?
Azalea: yep
Regulus: …and this won’t affect my coffee?
Azalea slowly: I don’t think so…
Regulus: alright, let’s do this then…*walks through the breach*
*meanwhile back on Earth-X*’
Evelyn: …wait for what?
Lucifer: wait for—
*a breach opens up*
Lucifer: …that
Evelyn: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!
Lucifer: …okay so you ARE familiar with the concept of the multiverse right?
Evelyn: right…
Lucifer: and you WERE around to meet our earth’s Cisco, right?
Evelyn: right…
Lucifer dryly: then how on earth do you not know what a breach is?
Evelyn dryly: maybe because I’ve never seen one before smartass…so this is a breach?
Lucifer: a spectral breach to be precise
*azalea then walks out of it*
Azalea: hey Lucifer!
Lucifer: hello Azalea, lovely to see you again dear, this is Evelyn Tveit, a friend and fellow resistance member…
Azalea bluntly: aaaaand the stubborn patient you mentioned in your call I’m guessing?
Evelyn innocently; I’ll stop being stubborn when Lucifer admits that, no offense azalea, therapy is stupid
Lucifer: when hell freezes over, which while I could arrange for that, I would never even dream of…by the way, Evelyn, this is Azalea black from Earth-62406
Evelyn: …so you’re the shrink lucifer calls when he needs therapy backup?
Lucifer: ONE of the shrinks I call when I need back up, but that’s only as of recent, and I don’t do it often, but again, you know I’m doing this because I care for you, now Azalea, you said you were bringing a patient with you who could relate to evelyn?
Azalea: yes, he’s my brother-in-law, he should be out soon…
*regulus comes out of the breach*
Regulus: that felt bloody weird as he–
Evelyn: *becomes almost as pale as a ghost seeing Regulus, immediately jumps off, then over behind the couch, as she then pulls out her diamond gun and points it directly at Regulus*
Regulus: *drops his mug of coffee on the ground causing for it to spill out on the floor as he then puts his hands in the air and extremely tired just sadly looks at the coffee on the floor*
Lucifer: Okay, Evelyn, I’m going to need you to calm down, this is a friend from another universe, and while this is my second time meeting her version of him, I did know our version of him a bit better, because this man, is Regulus Black
Evelyn slowly: …not…orion…?
Lucifer: no, this is Regulus Black, NOT Oron Black, I’m pretty sure on their earth, like ours, he’s dead. Although I think I know what we’re talking about first in this session…
Azalea dryly: thank merlin he is…
Regulus: what did my ass of a father *yawn nearly wide enough to crack his jaw* do this time?
Evelyn: …….uhhhhhhhh
Lucifer: right, regulus, if you’d like I have a coffee machine right here in my office, I can make you a cup if you’d like
Regulus: *miserable nod staring at spilled coffee*
Evelyn: …wait…Regulus Black…as in the founder of the the modern resistance spy program?!
Lucifer: yes, that’s correct, him and I founded the modern resistance spy program roughly…thirty to thirty five years ago
Evelyn; Holy SHIT
Regulus: I was a SP–actually that checks out…and it’s better than the alternative, thank merling for that…also, who are you two again?
Lucifer; where are my manners, Lucifer morningstar, we met briefly at the multiversal bar a little over a month ago *shakes his hand*
Regulus: riiiiight…
Evelyn: Evelyn Tveit, Charmed *shakes his hand*
Regulus: …so you’re the infamous Lucifer…well it’s nice to RE-Meet you
Lucifer; and she’s one of our spies, as well as one of our actresses here at the resistance
Regulus; is this the one who victoire keeps talking about?
Evelyn and Azalea at the same time: yep
Lucifer; but moving on from introductions…Evelyn, if you could re-holster your gun?
Evelyn: right…sorry…*puts her gun away*
Lucifer: it’s okay, but the moment Regulus stepped into the room, you felt the need to pull out your gun, why was that?
Evelyn dryly: because I thought he was Orion Black
Lucifer; right, but even if it was for him just stepping in the room to warrant such a violent reaction… I don’t know, there’s something else there…*remembering* …hang on…Evelyn…*slowly* …your first mission was to gain information on Orion Black, correct?
Evelyn: second mission, but close enough
Regulus dryly: again, what the hell did my ass of a father do THIS time?
Lucifer: …right…considering that seeing regulus warranted this level of response, clearly there’s something you didn’t tell me about that mission…
Evelyn:...........if I say it’s none of your business how would that go?
Lucifer: I’d remind you that I know people who can enter your mind without you even knowing, but I’ve chosen not to utilize that option because I’d rather you willingly tell me your problems through therapy
Evelyn so quiet they barely hear her: …………he’s the one mission who actually fucking scared me
Regulus: What Mission??
Evelyn: My second mission as a spy…*so quiet they barely hear her* Apparently the nazis think I’m more conventionally attractive, your relative more than most
Lucifer: could you repeat what you just said evelyn, because while I should remind you, my angelic ability is bringing out desire, not super hearing, that would be my sister gabriel’s ability
Evelyn; Goddamn Lucifer you really want me to spell it out?! Let’s put it this way, an air dart between the toes mimics all the symptoms of a heart attack and kills you
Lucifer: What the bloody hell does—*realizes and pulls out three more therapy cards and puts them on his desk* I’ll be right back *pops out his wings as he disappears in the blink of an eye*
Evelyn: …do you think he’ll be back before I make it back to my room?
*he appears in a flap of wings*
Evelyn: Dammit…
Lucifer: those cards are for you, and Nice try, but I just needed to pop on down to hell for a minute and catch Maze up to speed, she likes to personally handle some cases in hell, make sure they feel the worst forms of torture, I figured this would be one of them, and I was right
Evelyn: ……how? You were BARELY Gone!
Lucifer: Well Hell time is VERY different from earth time, which is how I was able to come back in less than a minute
Azalea:…huh…
Evelyn: also, Lucifer, you should know I have my own therapy for this specific issue
Lucifer dryly: Considering that this is the first time you’ve ever stepped foot in my therapy office, I highly doubt that, but go on, and you can’t say Theater or acting
Evelyn innocently: Want to see?
Lucifer: just tell me
Evelyn: …..using the training rooms to unload a full clip into his dick?
Lucifer: …I’m not going to lie, that actually sounds kind of fun…how’d you like to do that with the REAL Orion?
Evelyn: Is…this a test?
Lucifer: It’s not, if you want, we can take a little field trip to hell So you can do that to him
Regulus cheerfully: I want to come!
*all three padfoots turn back to sirius*
All of them: So do we!
Regulus: AH—Bloody Hell…HAVE YOU BEEN HERE THE WHOLE TIME?!
Sirius (62406): yep!
Lucifer: …okay in order to bring more than one person we’ll have to get John, but since we are, I’m sorry but I’d rather not risk losing a Sirius in hell, so, Azalea, could you call Nikki and Aurora?
Azalea: already on it
Evelyn: I’m bringing Aaron! *half joking* odd date night but we’ll take it
Lucifer: …you do realize if you haven’t already you’ll have to tell him about this situation with Orion…
Evelyn: …do I have to?
Lucifer: yes…
Evelyn: …all of it? I mean honestly he knows Orion’s an asshole and probably suspects that his heart attack wasn’t actually a heart attack but really Luci do I have to say everything?
Lucifer: *sighs* Evelyn, it’s not a good idea to keep something like this hidden from your husband, I say this both as someone who is friends with the two of you, and the one who is the therapist for both of you
Evelyn: …fine…
Sirius (111605): we have time to make a quick run back to our universes and get our signs, we’ve all been prepared for the day this came
Lucifer: right, just meet us in constantine’s room when you get back
Sirius (6246): *opens a breach* we’ll be back
Sirius (62406): see you when we get back Lea! *the three of them run through the breach*
Lucifer: alright, Regulus, Azalea come with me, we’ll go talk to Constantine, Evelyn, we’ll meet you there with Aaron…
Evelyn: got it
*constantines room*
Lucifer: *opens the door as they see John banishing what appears to be a dog lit on fire to hell*
John Constantine: *as the hell portal closes he sees Lucifer, Azalea, and Regulus* hello there Luci, Azalea…Regulus??
Azalea: my earth’s version
Constantine: right, multiverse and all that, anyway, you just walked in on me banishing a hellhound, every now and then when I take a trip to hell, a demon or two manages to seep through the cracks in the dimensional planes, now tell me, what can I do for you?
Lucifer: funny you mention trips to hell
Constantine: and why the bloody hell should I do that? Huh? I’m a master warlock and the head of our magical defense, not a bloody cabbie to hell Luci, you know this, why don’t you just fly them down yourself??
Lucifer: because, I can only fly one person down to hell at a time, and I’d rather not run the risk of several hours passing with someone by themselves because I needed to make more than one trip
Constantine: fair enough…so why are you going to hell anyway?
Lucifer: I can’t exactly tell you the details but the short version is, you know evelyn right? Tveit?
Constantine: yes, I know Evelyn, good girl, she actually dropped a gift basket by my room as a thanks for sending michael to hell, from hell, what about her?
Lucifer: well, there was…an Incident…when she was on a mission to gather information on Orion Black
Constantine: ugh…what the bloody hell did that bloody Bastard do?
Lucifer: he didn’t get the chance to Do anything…it’s more of a matter of what he TRIED to do…
Constantine: *realizes* he didn’t…I know he was a bloody bastard, who abused his… *realizes as he’s talking* …children…tell me he didn’t Luci…
Lucifer: he tried…but Evelyn snuffed him out before it was too late…so we’re going to hell so she can unload a round or two of bullets onto him
Constantine: alright, Luci, next time, let’s lead with that, alright I’ll do it
*just then a breach opens and the Siriuses come through with Aurora and Nikki, with All of them having handmade signs*
Aurora Malfoy-Black (111605): Is it True Lucifer? Tell me they weren’t lying, TELL ME we’re about to see Orion get shot
Nikki Black (6246) I also definitely, Would NOT be mad at that
Lucifer: it is
*just then Evelyn and Aaron walk into the room*
Aaron Tveit (X): …so all that really happened…
Evelyn: yeah…
Aaron: wow…okay so who are these people…hang on…Aurora? Sirius?
Lucifer: Multiverse
Aaron: ohhhh…
Sirius (62406): oh, and before we go, Reggie, I brought you a sign *hands one to him*
Regulus: Thanks Sirius…
Evelyn: …I’m sorry, so you just had those signs ready?
Sirius (111605): when your father is as much of an arsehole is ours was, you’ll understand
Aurora; yeah, we have signs at our house just in case if we somehow we get to see my dad get payback on him too, I mean he’s dead on our earth, but weirder things have happened
Evelyn:: well okay then…
Aaron: so who are the rest of these people…
Regulus: Regulus Black
Azalea: Azalea Black, married to the old man Sirius
Sirius (62406): HEY
Nikki: and I’m Nikki Black, married to the younger, living, Sirius, and you two are?
Aaron: I’m Aaron Tveit
Evelyn: and I’m Evelyn Tveit
Aurora: nice to meet you both
Evelyn; now that introductions are done, how’re we getting to hell?
Constantine: right, now the spell is a little complex *grabs a small sack with a sort of black powder off the counter and starts making a wide circle with it* Nobody break the circle…
Aurora: What the hell are you putting on the ground??
Constantine: Sigil dust *he finishes with the circle* now everyone coming to hell step inside the circle
*they all do so*
Aaron: Oh god, this is actually happening…
Evelyn: …if you don’t want to come you don’t have to…I know this is a lot, going to hell
Aaron: no, you don’t have to worry about me, I’m coming, because for lack of a better phrase, Like hell am I letting you go to HELL without me
Evelyn: *snorts softly* fair enough
Constantine; *goes to a minifridge he has in the room, and pulls out a pickle jar with a mysterious liquid labeled vader, spins the lid and opens the jar*
Evelyn: uhhh, why is that Jar labeled vader?
Lucifer: oh for brother’s sake, I forgot about this part…
Constantine: you see in order for me to take us to hell, I need to…consume…the remains of someone who already IS in hell
Nikki: …i’m sorry consume the remains, what do you mean–
Evelyn: hang on, you’re telling me that’s…Vader remains?
Constantine: that I liquified, and split between several jars, yes…
Aaron: Why??
Constantine; because as I said, In order for me to go to hell, I need to consume the remains of someone who is already in hell, so, bottoms up…
Evelyn: wait, You’re going to–
*Constantine starts chugging down the liquified vader remains*
Evelyn: OH–OH MY GOD, WHAT THE HELL?!
Sirius (111605): Oh bloody hell…I’m a ghost and this is somehow making even me sick
Lucifer: that was my reaction too when I had first found out how he does this…
Constantine: *wipes his mouth and puts the jar down then pulls out his lighter*
Evelyn: Hang on, I thought you couldn’t smoke anymore!
Constantine: Not smoking here, luv, this my dear, is simply a part of the spell… *closes his eyes extends his arms* Soul become my sou, flesh become my flesh, hades, firstborn of Kronos, I call upon you… *kneels on the ground and lights the lighter* everybody just hang tight for a moment…*lights the powder as they’re all engulfed in a blue flame and disappear*
*In Hell-X*
*in a blue flame they all appear in a random street*
Constantine: welcome to hell everybody *puts his lighter in his coat pocket*
Evelyn: …So this is hell? …could be worse…
Some random person: well, well, well if it isn’t both hell’s most popular, and least popular men together
Lucifer and Constantine in two completely different tones (Lucifer’s genuine, Constantine’s sarcastic): Hello Bellios, good to see you again
Bellios/Bellios of the Lillim: it’s good to see you as well my lord
Lucifer: Everyone, this is Bellios of the Lillim, Mazikeeen’s Brother, Lucifer, could you please tell me how far we are from the palace of Hell?
Evelyn dryly: you don’t know where the palace of Hell is? Weren’t you the king of hell?!?!
Lucifer: For your information, when I was the ruler of hell Evelyn, there was no Palace, the palace was something Maze had installed after I had passed the throne to her, when I was the ruler there was just a very lonely throne, and not even in the metropolitan part of hell, it was in the torture part of hell, why do you think I started taking my vacations to the mortal plane?
Bellios: hey, you know, sir, she actually did leave it how it was, even made it a hell landmark
Lucifer: oh she did, did she? *laughs* And here I thought she didn’t like to be sentimental, but that means on our way to visit orion you can see the former throne of hell, now Bellios, how do we get to the palace? Normally I just fly straight there, but I’m traveling with company, so…
Bellios: why, I’ll show you there my lord
Lucifer: …you do know that I’m NOT the ruler of hell anymore, that’d be Maze, I only ever come down once a month, mortal time, to visit maze and see how things are doing
Bellios: yes, I know, Mazikeen is the queen of hell, my lord, and we will always be loyal to her, but you were the king for millenia, so we will ALWAYS be loyal to you as well…just if you could maybe not show up with certain company next time, that would be much appreciated by many of us Demons
Constantine dryly: I’m right here you know!
Bellios dryly: oh yeah, I know
Lucifer: right…well, I guess show us the way then Bellios
Bellios: of course, King Lucifer
Lucifer: Renounced King, Bellios
Bellios: right, of course my lord
*they all start making their way to the palace of hell*
Evelyn innocently: so…Luci…
Lucifer: Evelyn, I don’t want to hear a word–
Evelyn innocently: or should I say, “KiNg LuCiFeR”
Bellios as they’re walking: you should!
Lucifer dryly: it’s a Joke Bellios…and the only thing I wish to be known for leading now, is the resistance, so if you could PLEASE shut up about this, I’d like to remind you, I let us take a field trip to hell so we can get some payback on Orion
Sirius (111605) innocently: you mean the onion?
Evelyn; …fine…
*once they get inside the palace of hell*
Lucifer: welcome…to the palace of hell, the throne room is right through here, Bellios thank you for escorting us here
Bellios: it was my honor, Ki–Lucifer… *walks out of the palace*
Lucifer; *opens the door to the throne room* Maaaaaazeeee
Maze/Mazikeen/Mazikeen of the Lillim/Queen Of Hell: *dressed in black leather, sitting on a black metal throne* Lucifer! How good to see you again, if this is about the case you told me about earlier, I’m already having it handled–
Lucifer: oh, it is, Maze, I have some people I’d like for you to meet…you’re already familiar with John, this is Azalea, you’ve met Aurora’s X doppelganger, one is from 111605, and this is Nikki, and three different doppelgangers of Sirius Black, from earths 62406, 111605, and 6246 respectively, then we have Regulus, also from 62406, then from our earth again we have some friends of mine, Evelyn and Aaron
Maze: …so, THIS is the infamous Evelyn Tveit…nice to meet you, Lucifer’s told me a bit about you…including, what that asshat Orion Black did to you, and I have to say, if I could kill him twice, slowly, I would’ve, believe me, so I take it that’s why you’re here?
Lucifer: yes, there’s a therapy method that she would like to try on him, for her of course, that involves causing him, Immense pain
Maze: aaaand, just like that I’m in, and it gives us a chance to test the new transportation system
Lucifer: new transportation system?
Maze: follow me… *they go into another room* the boys have been working overtime for this
*they look at a sort of metal pod*
Lucifer; what is this??
Maze: teleportation system, transports someone instantly from here to the torture part of hell on stepping in, and don’t worry, I’ve already used it, it’s perfectly, safe. So c’mon, let’s go, single file
*the torture part of hell*
*they all see a gray hallway made of brimstone, with a bunch of doors*
Evelyn: …this is what the torture part of hell looks like? This is even more depressing than I thought it would be…*looks up and sees the throne* That was your throne?!?! …You’re right, it does look lonely…
Lucifer: it was…alright, now if I remember right, these doors are all in a random order, so we just need to find the right hallway, then we’ll find Orion, but fair warning…there are a LOT of souls down here, so it might take a while
Maze innocently: I hate to break it to you Lucifer, but it’s literally, right behind the wall you’re leaning against
Lucifer; what the–*turns around and sees the name orion black on the door*
Evelyn: *snorts loudly*
Lucifer: how did you kn–
Maze: I was just here a few days ago, remember?
Lucifer: right…
Maze: follow me…*they all walk into orion's door to see Orion pinned to a wall*
Orion Black(X): you’ll never get anything out of me resistance scum! I’m not sure what’s worse, the fact you’re resistance! Or the fact you’re black!
Maze: screw you orion! *flipping him off*
Regulus: oh my god…he’s even worse here
Azalea: …of course not only is he blood racist, he’s ACTUALLY Racist on this earth…I’m sorry Lucifer, But you guys, ACTUALLY live on the WORST earth
Lucifer: *sighs dully* I know…
Evelyn: …so, that’s actually him…
Orion: you! I know you…Quick! Get me out of here woman!
Aaron: *about to pull out his gun*
Evelyn: *steps in front of everyone* I’m sorry, who do you think I am?
*all of the siriuses start holding up their signs*
Orion: you’re the woman from the other day who was about to have the delight of my company before we were so rudely interrupted
Evelyn: oh my god…does he not know where he is?
Maze: most don’t
Evelyn: well this’ll be fun..I killed you Orion, and you’re in hell, and I’ve been gifted the pleasure of being able to give you a little bit of torture *pulls out a gun*
Orion: dead? Please! As if YOU could kill me
Evelyn: *without a word fires an entire clip of bullets onto Orion right where no man wants to be shot, causing him to scream in extreme pain*
*all of the siriuses, Azalea, Aurora, and Nikki all start cheering for her*
Regulus: oh that had to HURT…Is it bad I kind of want to see it again?
Lucifer: no, it is not
Evelyn: *blows on the end of the gun* still think I didn’t kill you?
Maze: not bad…but there’s another method I of torture i think you’ll like, that I know for a fact is MUCH more painful…*pulls out two demon daggers* …how’d you like to try using a demon dagger?
Evelyn: …..you are now one of my favorite people
Maze: What can I say, I like watching assholes get the torture they deserve
Aaron casually while leaning against a wall: Should I be concerned that my wife is now friends with the queen of hell?
Maze: *while Looking at Aaron semi intimidatingly* You’re her husband?
Aaron: Yep! For…. for about two to three years now
Maze with a look of seriousness: *eyeing him down somewhat intimidatingly* Not bad on the eyes…*to evelyn, while not laying her eyes off of Aaron* …does he hurt you? because we get a lot of those down here, and I can give him a taste of what I do to them
Evelyn: …are you giving Aaron the shovel talk right now?
Maze still glaring at Aaron: *innocently* I’m talking to you not him
Evelyn half laughing at the absurdity of the statement: No he doesn’t hurt me
*Aaron then looks like he’s about to shit himself with that demon glare from Maze which she sees and bursts into laughter, and as does Lucifer*
Evelyn: Oh Jesus Luci
Lucifer: You can calm down Aaron she’s not going to hurt you, she was just messing with you, a little demonic humor if you will
All of the Siriuses in unison: Unlike our asshole of a father!
Maze Bluntly: You can say that again boys! But seriously, I can practically smell the goodness inside of him, don’t worry Evelyn, your husband will be leaving here unscathed by me, hes not an asshole, and he’s not my type so he won’t be Tortured, or fucked
Evelyn: *dryly* I’d sure hope not *innocently* I don’t like sharing
Maze cheerfully: *snorts loudly* oh I like you
Evelyn: Awww thanks! Oh unrelated note Luci we’re in LA we ALL have to go surfing
Lucifer: *notices* one second Evelyn…is that a Smile upon your face Mazikeen, and not one brought about by someone else’s dread
Maze dryly: Oh Shut it lucifer!
Lucifer: But now back to your statement Evelyn, why the bloody hell would you want to do that
Evelyn: ….because we’re. In. Los. Angeles. Also dad and I snuck out once so that I could learn to surf back on our east coast base
Orion just now catching up: You’re a SPY?!
Evelyn: Oh my GOD *points at herself speaking slowly like she’s talking to a child* yes, me spy
Maze: …didn’t you just unload a whole round of bullets onto him??
Aaron just in shock at the idiocy: I never thought it was POSSIBLE to be that slow
Maze dryly: At this point he’s just begging for you to throw a demon blade at him
Evelyn: Weeeelllll I wouldn’t be opposed…
Orion: as if some random resistance Spy Bitch could, you don’t have the guts!
Maze: …if you don’t do it, I will…
Evelyn: *puts her gun away* …give me the blade…
Maze: *carefully hands one to Evelyn* careful with that, only thing in this universe sharper than demon blades are blades forged from celestial steel
Lucifer: so Michael and Azrael's blade but that’s about it
Evelyn: Huh…. It’s heavier than I thought
Maze: Yeah, it’s small but sharp and heavy, plus I’ve found most mortals have a pain trying to figure out how to use it with it being curved but you seem to be doing better than anyone else I’ve tried to show this to
Evelyn: I learn easily
Maze: Good, because once you figure it out, they make great for throwing knives, exhibit A *throws one at Orion*
Orion: YOU FUCKING-
Evelyn dryly: Even your VOICE is infuriating and I’ve listened to Vader monologuing about why my parents and aunt deserved to die
Lucifer dryly: Try having to listen to Michael successfully convince your father why you should be cast out to hell
Evelyn: …and you think that I need therapy!
Lucifer: You DO, I already did my therapy, at least a decade of it
Evelyn; *Out of the corner of her mouth to maze* Help get me out of therapy?
Maze: Nope, because I actually agree with Lucifer, I had the same therapist he did, and she was also one of my best friend back on earth, therapy can actually work wonders
Evelyn: Shit… actually this is very therapeutic, could I possibly do the same thing to Vader?
Maze: You see I would let you do that, but I can’t, because we found out his perfect torture isn’t physical, it’s psychological
Evelyn: ….oh… well guess I have this asshat *chucks the knife and it lands right where nobody wants to be hit* oooh that was fun! Payback’s a bitch dahhhhling
Maze: BULLSEYE!! *sighs* And I’ve also found that they feel even more pain… *goes to where Evelyn’s dagger hit Orion and jiggles it around not yet taking it out* …when you do that!
*orion screams in pain*
Evelyn: …That… felt better…now. Luci. Surfing. Gather the entire multiverse crew. I’ll go rent the boards. How many people do we have?
Lucifer: …a lot?
Evelyn dryly: how helpful…
Constantine: Right on time, because if my calculations are correct, the spell that brought us down here should be wearing off soon, and bringing us back…
Maze: Before you go! *pulls out the dagger Evelyn threw and walks back over to them and offers it to evelyn* take this, I think it’ll definitely come in handy when fighting Nazis, it did for me
Evelyn:….Okay after surfing we NEED to go out sometime, now, tata Orion, oh, excuse me, ONION
*cheering from the Siriuses, Aurora, Azalea, Nikki, and Regulus*
Maze: Lucifer will have to fly me up for that, either that or you fly down and we hang out in metropolitan hell, but either way that sounds fun
Lucifer: …oh, what have I done…
Evelyn: Introduced me to one of my new best friends… although my girl Robyn is still my BEST friend
Nikki: Also I have to ask what is surfing and why do you like it?
Evelyn: Riding ocean waves on a board and because it was… the last happy memory I have before my dad was taken prisoner and shortly thereafter executed
Lucifer: Not to be insensitive, but I don’t see the fun in it, and before you ask I have tried it, also you asked me to gather the entire multiverse crew, because that would be nearly impossible, considering how many of them there are…and although I may not like surfing myself, I know someone a part of the Multiversal guardians who could make things more interesting for you
Evelyn: Interesting? Interesting how?”
Lucifer: Well, you haven’t met him yet, but I know a 17 year old boy who joined the Multiversal Guardians when we were fighting Michael, he was a newbie, named Percy Jackson, he’s the son of the Sea God Poseidon on his earth, and because of it he can control Water, please tell m e you know where I’m going with this
Evelyn: YES LUCI!! THE WAVES WE COULD CATCH!!
Lucifer: great, I’ll call him when we get back and like you I have learned he thrives in chaos so he’ll likely be more than happy to do it. Also, I’m just going to presume you don’t want me to invite wade?
Evelyn: Hell to the no
Lucifer: I had a feeling, I’ll make the calls, but just so you know, you’re not getting me to surf” *as he says that they’re transported back to Constantine’s room*
*back in constantine’s room*
Evelyn; well that felt weird…
Constantine; you get used to it eventually
Lucifer: *pulls out a notepad and pen and writes some stuff down* right, I’d say that was a nice first session, Evelyn, if you’ll follow me we can get your first therapy card hole punched, and discuss this beach trip idea
Evelyn: …is every session we have going to be like this?
Lucifer: hmmm…more or less? It won’t happen every time but it’ll happen sometimes, it’s comes with the territory of being friends with the devil slash resistance high general, as well as therapy client
Evelyn: …okay, maybe therapy won’t be so bad after all…
Lucifer: thank you, now if you’ll follow me we’ll rap up your session, Siriuses, Azalea, Nikki, Aurora, Regulus, you are all free to return to your respective universes
Regulus: all I’ll say, is this trip was definitely worth waking up at two in the morning
Azalea: oh for SURE
Sirius (111605): are you kidding me? I’d have been willing to give up my right arm to see something like this happen to the onion when I was alive
Sirius (6246): same…
Sirius (62406): Hell I’d be willing to become “Mad-Arm Black”
Sirius (6246): *snorts and sighs* man…mad-eye would’ve hated that joke you know?
Sirius (62406): oh for SURE
Nikki; yeah…but we all still would’ve laughed
Sirius (111605): yeah…so just to clarify, he’s dead on all of our earths?
Sirius: (62406): Yeah, even on mine, he died a couple years ago
*awkward silence*
Sirius (62406): well this is awkward…
Azalea; yeah…
Lucifer: well it was great seeing you all again, and meeting you regulus, thank you, all of you for your assistance and support, and I hope to see you all whenever this beach day thing pans out
Aurora: *opens a breach with her extrapolator* We’ll see you then Lucifer! Aaron, Evelyn, it was great meeting you
Constantine: Aurora, see you and Sirius at the bar for multiversal Poker night?
Aurora: wouldn’t miss it!
*regulus, the siriuses, and their spouses all make their way through the breach*
Lucifer: hang on Johnny, what’s this about a multiversal poker night?
Constantine: it’s a thing that got started after the first crisis with the Anti-Monitor by Deadpool, the original group was, Deadpool, Lenny, Aurora, Sirius Malfoy-Black, Lily, all from universe-111605, and Jonah Hex, then a little before the last crisis, I got an invite, then soon after the last crisis two weeks ago, invites were sent out to Remy, Frost, Cisco, Leo, Iris, Wood that is, as well as Caitlin-prime, and as of a few days ago, Charlotte
Lucifer: hold on a second, you invited CAITLIN, before you invited ME?!
Constantine; according to Cisco she’s one of the best players he knows, so we figured we’d give her a shot
Lucifer: Who's WE?!
Constantine: the council of Multiversal poker players, myself, Lily, Iris, Deadpool, Snart, Remy, and Frost
Lucifer: …could I get an invite?
Constantine: alright, I’ll talk to the others
Evelyn: I’d also like an invite to that, because I’m actually AMAZING at poker, and would love a new challenge
Constantine: alright, alright, I’ll see about getting you both invites, just know, these games can sometimes get a little rough, but I’m sure it’s nothing you two can’t handle, just, evelyn, make sure you bring your gun luv, yeah? *winks* Now, I’m going to go have a drink. Just don’t touch anything in my room before you leave, I wouldn't want anyone getting possessed…again…
Lucifer; thank you again John for doing this, taking us to hell I mean…but something else I need to ask…Lily Potter not only got an invite, but made it onto the council?
Constantine; considering the situation, anytime, and she may not look it lucí but she is one bloody good poker player, now like I said before, I need a drink… *leaves*
Lucifer: alright, now, Evelyn, with me to my office, and you too Aaron, I have something I need to talk with you about as well
Aaron: Okay?
*in Lucifer’s Therapy office*
Lucifer: now, Evelyn, if you’d hand me your first punch card
Evelyn: *pulls out the punch card and hands it to him*
Lucifer: *Pulls out a key from around his neck from his pocket and unlocks the cabinet in his desk in which he pulls out a hole puncher and punches a hole in the card then hands it back to her* there you go *puts the hole puncher away and locks the cabinet*
Evelyn: *notices* …hang on, what’s the star for? On the punch card?
Lucifer: right, so the star, marks the fifth session for that punch card, if you actually go to all five sessions, you get a reward, your choice between a couple options, that I am not telling you yet, until you do the therapy
Evelyn mockingly: what? Am I going to pick something from the SpEcIaL pRiZe drawer or chest?
Lucifer; oh you wouldn’t be mocking it if only you knew what it was
Evelyn: …oh please, it can’t be THAT good
Aaron; trust me evelyn, you won’t be saying that when you get to it
Evelyn: …wait, is it actually that good? C’mon Aaron, tell me what it is!
Aaron: I can’t Lucifer said I’m not allowed to tell anyone who hasn’t filled out at least one punch card, but all I’ll say is I recommend banking your punch cards, for you, you’re going to want at least three, I have…I think, six banked
Lucifer: it’s eight actually…
Evelyn: jesus…so it’s actually worth going to…forty therapy sessions?!
Aaron: it is…
Evelyn: alright, I’ll do it
Lucifer: splendid, I believe I have an opening in say…two weeks? How does that sound?
Evelyn: that works for me
Lucifer; now, about this beach day thing, when were you thinking about doing it?
Evelyn: maybe say…two days?
Lucifer: that’s not a lot of time to prepare…well lucky for you, when I bought Lux, I also ended up buying a private beach that came with it
Evelyn: You WHAT?!
Lucifer: yeah, keep in mind I bought Lux in the 40s so…
Evelyn: touche…but this could be AMAZING!
Lucifer: great, I’ll let the others know, and I’ll also see who I can get to run security, let us know if any nazis are on their way
Evelyn; good thinking
Lucifer: alright, I’ll make some calls, and I’ll see what I can do, now if I could have a word with Aaron alone, I’ve been meaning to talk to him about booking our next session
Evelyn slightly confused: okay? *walks out of the room*
Lucifer: *closes the door and Locks it*
Aaron: alright, what’s going on, know I already have my next session scheduled
Lucifer: Well, two pieces of bad news, but before that, I’ve been meaning to ask, how’s it going looking for staff members for Lux?
Aaron: well, I already have two new hires, Ricky and Luis, Ricky as a Male dancer, and Luis as a waiter
Lucifer: our resident easy speaker as a waiter, smart choice, and Ricky, I see you’re going to be keeping both the women and gay men happy with that choice. Nice work, but there’s one person who I’m very surprised you haven’t hired yet…Evelyn? Your wife? One of the best spies in the resistance?! Literally the only thing keeping her from being an angel is the fact her agent status is too well known in the base!
Aaron: well I’m going to hire her, it’s just…I’m trying to figure out how to tell her that I’m an angel
Lucifer: you’ll figure it out Aaron, don’t worry, but you definitely should hire her
Aaron: I got it…but now, what’s the bad news, lay it on me
Lucifer: alright, two things…you’re going to want to sit down
Aaron: *sits down on the couch*
Lucifer: now, you planned to use two of your punch cards for a trip to heaven to visit your parents that we had scheduled with amenadiel, I know, but, unfortunately…due to certain disputes going on right now in heaven about if sending Michael to hell was the RIGHT decision, amongst my siblings…for the time being…we’re going to have to postpone that trip…I’m sorry, Aaron, truly, I am
Aaron: *sadly, hiding the fact that he’s crushed* oh…I understand…
Lucifer: and this one, I’m going to have Evelyn come in for, because, you’re going to need her for this *unlocks the door then opens it, causing for evelyn to fall because she had her head against the door* …did I ever tell you that I had morgan sound proof this room with the same technology her and Jax developed to soundproof your room?
Evelyn: …dammit…
Lucifer: …it’s alright Evelyn, I was coming to get you anyway, because, I have some bad news for Aaron, that I think he might need you to be here for what I need to tell him next
Evelyn: *gets up* what do you mean? What’s going on
Lucifer: ....uh…please, have a seat…
Evelyn slowly: What’s going on Luci? *sits down*
Aaron: yeah, Lucifer, what’s going on, you’re scaring me here…
Lucifer I found this out a couple weeks ago, on our last theater day, and have been wondering about how to tell you since then but…It’s about your brother
Aaron: *nervous* …Jon? What about Jon?
Lucifer: sadly…I’m sorry…I’ve had to tell so many people about their loved ones over the years, and it never gets any easier…
Aaron knowing where this is going but doesn’t want to believe it: Tell them. What.
Lucifer: I’m sorry…but…*with a slight tear in his eye* …he’s dead…I know, because I saw him in the silver city on my last attempted visit, when amenadiel told me about the situation in heaven
Aaron: no…*in tears*
Evelyn: …Aaron…
Aaron: not. My baby brother, Lucifer, Tell me your joking, TELL ME, this is some kind of sick joke
Lucifer: I wish it were, Aaron…I’m sorry…I’ll leave you two in here…Aaron, truly, I’m sorry…
Notes:
Yes, that's right, Aaron had a brother, and now he's gone, but next chapter for the most part will be a little lighter, with it being the mandatory Fanfic "Beach Episode" chapter, but until then, this has been a Padjake written story, now, Mischief Managed!
Chapter 7: The Beach Episode
Notes:
Alright, as the title implies this is the Mandatory Beach Episode, with a LOT of character introductions, and as always OC credits in this chapter (except for Steve) go to My friend who you could find on Wattpad @wifeofenjolras. Now before we continue, Trigger warning: I should mention towards the end of this there are depictions of Homophobia, so you have been warned, now on with the chapter
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
*Earth-X, Los Angeles, Lucifer’s “Private” Beach, two weeks after the multiversal check-in*
Lucifer Morningstar: What the bloody hell is this?!
Evelyn Tveit: An Empty beach?
Lucifer: Empty? Does THAT look empty to YOU?!?! *gestures to a surf shack and a changing room/bathroom building*
Evelyn: …why’re you freaking out? It’s just a surf shack and a changing room, both of which are crucial for today
Aaron Tveit: *wearing thick shades* hang on, evelyn, he makes a point, how did someone set up a surf shack here if this is supposed to be a private beach…also again, Evelyn, why did you make me come to this, because you KNOW I’m hungover, and the sun hurts
Evelyn: because I wanted you to see me surf…*quietly innocently* …and can you blame me if I like seeing my husband shirtless, and I wanted you to see me in this outfit
Aaron: *snorts softly* fair enough, and you DO look amazing by the way
Evelyn: thank you Aaron
Hudson Alves-Hurder dryly: would you two just kiss and get it over with already!
Evelyn: *snorts*
Morgan Stark/Iron Maiden: also to answer your question about the surf shack Aaron, that was me, I did a fly over the beach yesterday and realized there wasn’t one that wouldn’t get us caught by nazis, so I made a call
Bart West-Allen/Impulse: Call? Who’d you call that was able to get a fully operational surf shack up in a day?
Steve/The Anti-Spectre innocently: *standing behind the earth-x crew in a purple hawaiian shirt and swim trunks* I don’t know, but whoever did, must obviously be someone, someone powerful…kind…someone fishing for a thanks perhaps
All of the Earth-X people: *turn around* AH
Lucifer: STEVE?!
John Constantine: Who are you and how the bloody hell did you sneak up on a spy, a master warlock, and the devil?!
Nora West-Allen/XS: hang on, Lucifer, you know this guy?
Lucifer: yes, I do, lovely to see you again steve
Steve : you too Luci, nice to meet you all officially, the Name’s STEVE, I’m also known as the Anti-Spectre, I’m basically Ollie’s opposite if you couldn’t figure that out, *recognizes aaron* oh hey! What’s going on, what was your name again…Aaron right? We met last week when I had to take Luci to the multiversal bar to stop a fight between Gambit, Frost, Deadpool, and Oliver, Sara, and Supergirl
Evelyn; You know this guy Aaron?
Aaron: Yeah, we met briefly when I was talking to Lucifer about something
Cal Kestis: So Lucifer and Morgan know this guy, How?
Morgan: he showed up at the universe leader meeting two weeks ago, and gave us a direct line to contact him
Bart: hang on…what do you mean opposite of Oliver?
Steve: well, I have the same level of power as him, but different rules and restrictions, I can go anywhere in the multiverse, but unlike Oliver Queen, who keeps order in the multiverse, but can only go into the multiverse when it’s in immediate danger, I can go where a want and do what I want, but on the condition I cause chaos in some shape or form, but don’t worry I’m not evil, I cause chaos my own way, with pranks, but moving on, another big difference is while he got to keep his memories of his past life, I for the most part, did not, so there are pros and cons to each role we have, but moving on, I can do pretty much anything, which is how I set this up in less than a second, You know, I wasn’t expecting constantine to be at this thing
Constantine: oh, calm down, I’m just here for bloody security just in case if Nazis show up
Steve: yeah, I know, I’m just fucking with you cabron (in this context, not an insult, it means basically means dude)
Constantine: …Luci, would that be offensive if I knew spanish?
Lucifer: In this context… maybe?
Steve: calm down, I mean it in the friend way, it’s one of the few things I remember about my past life, the fact that I’m some kind of latino
Bart: huh…
Evelyn: …but you can’t do EVERYTHING, right?
Steve: …there isn’t really MUCH of a limit, that’s how I was able to set up the surf shack with just the snap of my fingers, and here let me show you a video *pulls out a purple smartphone and shows everyone there a video of Morgan and Lucifer singing* this is from a musical number I put them in
Evelyn: WHAT?!
Morgan: STEVE!! YOU SAID NO ONE OUTSIDE OF THE LEADERS WOULD FIND OUT!!
Steve: moving on…*swipes and shows them the video of barry* …this one’s barry…*keeps swiping* …this one's Deadpool, Dom, and Brian…this one's Iris, Scott, Jaime, and Percy doing El Tango de Roxanne…This one’s Aurora,
Adelynn, Charlotte, Nikki, Cisco, Harry Wells, Sherloque, and Dick…and finally, this one, I’m really proud of…Me and Oliver…
Evelyn; okay, I only recognize about half of those names, but even I know that’s pretty impressive…
Steve: Alright, and two things I offer as a show of good faith, first for you Evelyn, you’re a surfer, right?
Evelyn: I mean…I do like surfing, what about it
Steve: And why do you like surfing?
Evelyn: Why do you want to know?
Steve: I mean I just read the last chapter, so I already know, this was more of just a courtesy, but moving on, it’s because of your dad, right?
Evelyn: …How do you know that?
Steve: for the most part I’m omniscient, and even if it weren’t for that, I read the last chapter, keep up
Evelyn slowly semi-confused: right…why?
Steve: And if I had to guess, just kidding not a guess, he gave you a board, right? A red one with white flowers on it…
Evelyn: …yeah, and me and him both carved our initials into it, with the date I learned how to surf next to it…but I lost it in the transfer from our East Coast base to our central city base…
Steve: Right, I know, and that’s pretty sad…now, look behind you…
Evelyn: *turning around* what do you mean look behind m–*sees a red surfboard with white flowers on it standing in the sand* …no. Way…. *walks over to the board and sees on the bottom the initial B.A. and E.A. with the date she learned how to swim carved into it* …but–HOW?!
Steve: the powers of the Anti-Spectre
Evelyn: …Luci, I think this might be one of my favorite of the multiverse people you’ve introduced me to other than Victoire
Lucifer: oh, he’s not a Guardian…
Evelyn: I don’t care, my point still stands, now, Aaron for you, what’s your favorite kind of pie?
Aaron: …Cherry? But I—
Steve: Right, so I have two pies for you, because I know about your brother, and I am truly sorry about your loss, so the first we have…*reaches behind his back and pulls out Cherry Pie* …Cherry Pie… and for the second we have pecan pie, both dairy free of course because of your allergy
Aaron: *smiles slightly* Jon’s favorite
Steve: *the pies disappear in purple Anti-Spectral Particles* they’re back at the surf shack, come stop by if you want some, trust me, you do NOT want to be dropping pie in sand, but something else for you, I have two things, first, *snaps his fingers and anti-spectral particles are emitted*
Aaron confused: *blinks for a second then slowly takes off his sunglasses*…the sun doesn’t hurt…WHY DOESN’T THE SUN HURT?!
Evelyn: *bursts into laughter*
Steve: because you’re not hungover anymore
Constantine: Hold up a second there big man, you can do that?! Not even I can do that!
Steve: yeah, I can, and it’s not even that hard
Aaron: …I think you just became one of my new best friends
Evelyn: What?! No fair! I wanted to claim him as one of my new best friends!
Aaron: nope! You got Victoire and Maze, I get Teddy and Steve, this is fair, you get to be best friends with the queen of hell, I get to to be best friends with the Anti-Spectre
Hudson: I’m sorry, Aunt Ev, you’re best friends with the Queen of HELL?!
Evelyn: That…is a conversation for another day…
Steve: That's so nice of you to say aaron, but I haven’t even gotten to the best part! So…your brother, he was a priest, right?
Aaron: he was…
Steve: right, so, as someone who doesn’t know, or remember their family it kills me whenever I hear about someone who’s lost theirs…so…I do know about resistance funeral protocol, and I did you a favor and used my powers to move the body to the funeral preparation room, so you can give him a proper funeral, and something for you *reaches behind his back and pulls out a blue beaded rosary with a metal cross* something, I’m sure he’d want you to have, he had it on him when he died *hands it to him*
Aaron: *taking it* …this is the rosary I got for him to celebrate when he finally became a priest…thank you Steve, this means a lot…and thank you so much, for bringing him back for us… I know we just met but… *walks over to him and hugs him*
Steve: *hugs back* of course, it’s no problem, I get it, I’m a big hugger, now, if any of you need me *pulls out a straw mexican style cowboy hat and puts it on* I’ll be over at the surf shack, I hope you all have fun *walks over to the surf shack*
Aaron: Well that was…
Evelyn: Amazing? Yeah…
Morgan; Before we have our fun beach day, Aaron, Promise me you’ll let me know when the funeral is when you get that figured out
Aaron: I will, thanks Morgan
Morgan: of course, no problem
Aaron: …I know I’m not hungover anymore but I’m keeping these shades on *puts them back on*
Evelyn: fair enough
Constantine: So Luci, am I going to be working alone on security, or am I getting a partner?
Lucifer: yes, about that, I did get you a partner, she should be here soon…
Adelynn Skywalker-Kenobi (X): this is a nice beach you have lucifer
Constantine: Adelynn, good to see you luv, haven’t really seen you since the battle, how’re the kids?
Adelynn (X): the kids, they’re doing great, thanks for asking, so where are we patrolling Luci?
Lucifer: I already showed John, he’ll show you, thank you again for doing this Adelynn
Adelynn (X): no problem
Constantine: alright, I guess we’ll head over to our spot then, we’ll see you lot later *they both walk away*
Evelyn: …Lucifer…I don’t want to be rude but…what the hell is she doing here??
Lucifer: She’s doing security?
Evelyn: you know damn well how I feel about–
Lucifer: you feel about her, and her past I know, but we’ve been over this, she was being brainwashed.
Evelyn: *sighs* Whatever, I’m not letting this ruin my day, so, when are the others getting here
*a breach opens*
Lucifer: …I’d say about right now
*Remy and Frost come through the breach with Percy and Annabeth coming next*
Lucifer: Remy, Frost, good to see you both again, Percy, Annabeth, same to you
Remy LeBeau (111605): you too Lucifer, thanks for the invite
Percy Jackson: yeah, I heard you wanted to go surfing and I said HELL YES
Annabeth Chase: and I came too, to keep him from accidentally drowning someone
Aaron slowly; …what does that mean?
Evelyn: hang on, so you’re the Percy Luci told me about…please tell me he wasn’t joking about you being able to control water…
Percy: yes, and I fully intend to use that power to help us catch some sick waves
Evelyn: YES *hi-fives him* I’m Evelyn
Percy: as you already know, I’m Percy
Aaron to Annabeth: …so let me guess, voice of reason in the relationship?
Annabeth: oh yeah, big time
Aaron: *nonchalantly offers to shake her hand* Aaron
Annabeth: *shakes it* Annabeth
Frost: also Lucifer, Caitlin and Ronnie would’ve came but they had work
Lucifer: I completely understand
*Cisco and Barry both come through a breach*
Cisco: Who’s ready FOR BEACH
Lucifer: Cisco! Good to see you again!
Cisco: You too man! And–*sees Aaron and Evelyn* Hang on…You’re Aaron Tveit
Aaron: famous on your earth?
Cisco: yeah, my boy Barry said he met you a couple days ago on this earth, and it seems like he wasn’t kidding…damn…I owe him five bucks…
Evelyn: hang on, does that mean I’m famous in your universe too?
Cisco: …okay, you look familiar…what’s your name?
Evelyn: Evelyn Tveit…
Cisco: *realizes* HOLY SHIT!!
*just then Iris and Aidan walk through the breach holding Arthur and Morgan and hear the end with them*
Evelyn: So I AM famous then
Iris Wood: hey guys, what’s going on–hang on…why do you look familiar…
Cisco: okay, so maybe her doppelganger exists in your universe and is famous, but in mine…I’VE MET ALL OF THE OCS…well All of the MAIN OCs
Evelyn: …the what?
Aidan Wood: Okay, for real, what’s going on?
Cisco: Okay, so you know how Iris, You, your sister, Iris’ Siblings and all of the females in her direct bloodline starting with Azalea, only exist in my universe through fanfiction? Same for, Aurora, Adelynn, and Nikki, and a few others, as OCs or Original Characters, created by the same writer
Iris: Yeah?
Cisco: well I just found another one
Lucifer: Wait, you’re not saying what I think you’re saying…
Cisco: yeah, I am
Evelyn: Okay, what’s going on??
Cisco: You see, while your husband on my earth may exist, you only exist in a fanfiction created by the fic writer I like
Lucifer: and the only people thus far who have been “Original Characters” in her fics…have been outliers…
Evelyn: Okay, What the hell is an outlier?? and what do you mean I only exist in fanfiction?!
Lucifer: …maybe this would be better explained at our meeting with Oliver Next week…
Cisco: good thinking
Evelyn: Luci, I swear if I don’t get answers from him, I’m going to kill you
Lucifer: you will, you have my word
Evelyn: good…
Lucifer: Now, starting with you, Cisco, will Barry or any of the others be joining us today?
Cisco: Barry and Iris are visiting her and kind of their dad, it’s complicated, and as for Caitlin, she’s visiting her mom today, and HR’s holding down the fort at S.T.A.R. Labs with the rest of team flash
Lucifer: right, well they will be missed
Iris: well I guess it’s a good thing Leo’s not coming either, same goes for gwen and Freddie, Freddie and Leo are working on a difficult case together, something about some kind of crazy dark wizard, the only one of the Aurors making it out today is Aunt Rosie, and that’s because you got lucky and decided to do this on her day off
Lucifer; great, anyone else from your family joining us today?
Iris: Grandma Lea, Grandpa Sirius, my parents, Vic, Ted, and… I think that’s it…to be fair you did do this REALLY last minute
Lucifer: fair enough…are these your kids? I didn’t get to meet them last time they were here on account of, y’know, the multiversal battle
Iris: yes, this is Morgan and Arthur, Hunter is still only a couple months old so we left him with Aidan’s parents just in case, can you guys say hi!
Morgan and Arthur: Hi!
Lucifer; so have you parents decided how you’re going to handle the kids you’re bringing today?
Aidan: yeah, the parents with kids are in a group chat, we all took a vote, and when he gets here, Anakin is going to be the designated child watcher
Lucifer: ah, I see Adelynn is still holding a grudge after the whole millennium falcon incident?
Iris: Oh yeah, big time
*just then, Aurora, Sirius (111605), Ben, Anakin, Adelynn, Obi-Wan, and Padme all walk through the breach with Sirius jr., Marlene, Hope, Hadrian, Luke, Leia, and Shmi*
Adelynn Skywalker-Kenobi (111606): Hey guys!
Lucifer: skywalkers, good to see you all again
Anakin (111605): it’s Lucifer: hello Adelynn—*sees Obi Wan shirtless jokingly* and Hello there OBI-WAN, BLOODY HELL, MAN
Adelynn: yep, here we go
Evelyn jokingly: …Aaron, you know I love you more than anyone or anything in the multiverse but…holy fucking shit…
Obi Wan slowly confused: and you are…?
Evelyn: Evelyn Tveit, a friend of Lucifer’s
Aaron: and I’m Aaron Tveit, Evelyn’s husband
Lucifer jokingly to Adelynn: you’re lucky you all met me after I met my wife
Obi Wan: …you do know I’m straight right?
Lucifer innocently: and? I was so good at flipping men they used to call me the skillet
Padme Amidala-Skywalker dryly: *attempting to cover Luke and leia's Ears* I’d like to remind everybody there are Children present
Everyone who was making jokes: …sorry…
Hudson dully: literally the only reason I haven’t left is because Aunt Ev said she’d teach me how to surf
Anakin Skywalker; and I’m on kid watching duty, otherwise I’d have gone too
Cisco: you know I’m surprised you came man, considering, y’know…Sand…
Padme dryly: he didn’t make it easy for anyone, it took a LOT of convincing to get him to even consider coming
Iris: and with this everyone with kids is here, so all kids and people with kids follow me, Let’s go set up the kids area
*all the kids and parents leave*
Hudson: …I’m going there after we do our surfing aren’t I?
Evelyn: …depends…
Hudson: on?
Evelyn: …how comfortable you are with seeing me and your uncle A flirting?
Hudson immediately: I’ll take the kids section, I’ll go leave my stuff over there then meet you guys at the surf shack
Aaron: yeah, we should probably figure out where we want to put our beach bag down
Evelyn: nice thinking Aar *about to grab her board*
*just then Victoire and Teddy both come through a breach*
Victoire: Beach Day!
Evelyn: Vic!
Victoire: Evelyn!
Teddy: *nods at Aaron* Aaron
Aaron: *nods back* Ted
Evelyn: How’ve you guys been?!
Victoire: we’ve been doing alright, how’ve you guys been?!
Evelyn: things have been…hectic…to say the least…
Victoire: well it’s a good thing we have this relaxing day at the beach then
Evelyn; yeah! C’mon, we were just about to go put our stuff down
*they all leave with Evelyn Carrying her surfboard*
*just then, Dick, Charlotte and Poe all come through a breach
Dick Grayson: Hey Lucifer!
Lucifer: Hell everyone, good to see you all again, and under better circumstance, Charlotte, Poe, how are the two of you doing, how’s they pregnancy coming along
Charlotte Dameron with a shit eating grin: the pregnancy? Oh, it’s been great so far
Poe Dameron with the same grin: right
Lucifer bluntly knowing that grin VERY well: more than great from the looks of–
Ben Skywalker dully also knowing that grin: Lucifer, Don’t! Just…don't…*walks away*
Poe: *bursts into laughter*
Charlotte: *sighs* How’ve you been Lucifer
Lucifer: I’ve been alright, but you know, things have been how they always are here on Earth-X
Charlotte not wanting to be insensitive: …shitty?
Bart dully: yeah…but you know, you gotta find the silver linings in the days, which is why we’re here!
Lucifer: yes, oh, and I should probably let you know, Steve is running the surf shack if you want the to try surfing, or odds are he’d have something for you to munch on if you’re in the mood for something to eat
Charlotte: hang on, Steve as in–
Lucifer: The Anti-spectre? Yes, Morgan had him called in for this
Steve through a speaker attached to the outside of the Surf Shack: Hey, our writer had to get me into the beach episode somehow!
Lucifer: …what?
Remy: ignore that, even Wade can’t keep track of him all the time sha
Lucifer: too chaotic for Wade? HA, I like him even more now!
Remy: I know, same do I mon amis, so do I
*Nikki, Azalea, and both of their siriuses walk through a breach*
Lucifer: Well if it isn’t my fellow therapists, how good to see you both again, and you as well Siriuses, you should probably know that Aurora and her Sirius are over getting their kids set up
*both siriuses sprint off*
Azalea: …we should probably follow them, right?
Nikki: Definitely
*they both run after them*
*then Holly, George, and Rosie walk through*
George: bloody hell this is a nice Beach
Lucifer: welcome to Los Angeles, George, Holly, Rosie, good to see you again
Charlotte knowing EXACTLY why Rosie’s there mouthing to her: *while subtly pointing to where ben is* He’s over there
Holly: you too l
Rosie: *nods subtly* Hols, George, I’m gonna see you later, I’m gonna go take a walk around the beach *leaves*
Holly: uh-huh…*slightly suspicious*
*just then, Scott, Cassie, and Quill all walk through a breach*
Scott Lang: Hey Luci!
Lucifer: hello there Scott, Cassie, Quill, glad you could all make it
Cassie Lang: yeah, I definitely missed california beaches
Scott: yeah, one of the downsides of moving to new york was the cold winters, and not as warm summers
Peter Quill: and I live in missouri, so this is way better than the summers I get
Lucifer: oh, brother, not the bloody Midwest, I am SO sorry for you
Quill: it’s not THAT bad
Lucifer: sure it isn’t, Dom messaged me that no one from his earth will be attending, and Jaime said he and Rudy couldn’t make it either, so I guess that means everyone’s here!
*just then another breach opens up and Deadpool walks out of it*
Lucifer: oh Bloody Hell, WADE?!
Deadpool/Wade Wilson: YOU ALL TRIED TO DO A BEACH EPISODE?! WITHOUT ME?!
Evelyn: *walking over with Aaron as she rolls her eyes* oh fucking hell Deadpool, Calm down
Deadpool: Well, how RUDE!!! …who wants to see what I look like without my costume on in swim trunks for the beach episode?!
Lucifer immediately: NO ONE…the answer is no one, trust me, you DON'T
Evelyn dryly: I think we could figure that one out Lucifer
Deadpool innocently: what’s the matter, sugar bear? Don’t wanna see what extreme skin cancer looks like?
*awkward silence*
Deadpool: What’s wrong? I mean that’s basically what it is!
Frost dryly: yes, but you don’t just SAY THAT WADE!!
Deadpool dramatically: Are you cancer shaming me? During DISABILITY PRIDE MONTH?!?! WHEN THIS LINE WAS ORIGINALLY WRITTEN!!
Frost dryly: …I’ve known this guy for seven years and he somehow has never changed
Evelyn bluntly: …the amount of mental frustration this…person has caused me over the years...
Frost dryly: Try living on the same earth as him, why do you think me, caitlin and ronnie moved to earth-62406 and Remy to 111605
Evelyn; …..you deserve better
Remy: Which is why we moved chere…well that and me and Frosty owed him some poker money and he wouldn’t leave us the fuck alone
Evelyn: Good for you!
Deadpool: speaking of which, Gambit, Frost, you coming to poker night in a couple days?
Remy: wouldn’t miss it, sha
Deadpool: oh, and just so you know, Blunt Gem, Goat legs, Johnny C told me and the rest of the council of multiversal poker players about you two wanting to join the Multiversal Poker Night, the vote went through, you’re in, this next session is partner night, everyone else is already partnered up so you two are together
Evelyn; okay, first of all, It’s SPARKLING DIAMOND, not BlUnT GeM, get it right, and second, we’re in?!
Lucifer: also I do NOT have goat legs as you can OBVIOUSLY tell *gesturing to his shirtless body in silk red swim trunks*
Deadpool: whatever you say goat man, also, on another note about you all not seeing me in swim trunks without my suit, you didn’t have a choice in that, because; RIP *he rips off his suit as he is then only wearing swim trunks*
Dick: …so that’s what you look like under your suit? Huh…definitely not what I was expecting…
Aaron: …neither was I…
Evelyn; hey, quick question, how the hell did you even find out about this?!
Deadpool: I read the last chapter, same as Steve, and to answer questions about why my body looks like this, experimentation by shitty doctors, man, if only I didn’t get experimented on by the government…wonder where I’d be now
Evelyn: …I was going to make a joke, but not even you deserve that shit
Deadpool: yeah, my backstory’s fucked up, but on the brightside, I can’t die by unnatural causes, and can regenerate, I’m one of the FEW people people in all of the multiverse who can say that, but I’m probably the only ones you’ll get to meet who can say that
Steve through a speaker he has outside the surf shack; That’s called foreshadowing! *goes back to blasting surfin’ USA by the Beach Boys through the speakers*
Deadpool: …what the hell was that about?
Evelyn slowly: I don’t know…I’m gonna go back to the surf shack, hudson should be over there soon, c’mon Aaron
*back over by the Surf Shack*
Steve: *while sitting in a chair with shades on watching an episode of South Park on a mounted TV* DAMN, they really aren’t afraid to take shots at everybody on this show… *tosses some hot cheetos into his mouth*
Percy: *walks over with Annabeth* Hey Steve!
Steve: Hey Percy! And you’re Annabeth I’m guessing?
Annabeth: yes that would be me
Percy: only the best girlfriend any god or demigod could ask for, so, we’re here for boards
Steve: Right, well Annabeth, nice to meet you, I’m Steve the Anti-Spectre, now before I get your boards, you guys want something to eat? *sets down his bowl of hot cheetos and out of thin air pulls out two menus which he places onto the shack counter*
Percy: What do you got? *looks at the menus and they just say “Anything you want” on them*
Steve bluntly: you gotta remember who you’re talking to here cabron (again, not an insult in this context)
Percy: right, well I’m good for now, you want anything wise girl?
Annabeth: I’m good seaweed brain
Steve: Alright, now for your boards…*goes to a closet and pulls out a light blue board with a dark blue trident on it* how’s this for you percy
Percy: I like it! *takes it*
Steve: And for annabeth *pulls out a gray surfboard with the owl symbol of athena on it* How's this?
Annabeth: It's perfect! *takes the board* thanks!
Steve: No problem, have fun you two!
*they both leave as Evelyn, Aaron, and Hudson walk over, with Evelyn holding her surfboard*
Steve: Hey Evelyn, Aaron, Hudson, good to see you guys
Evelyn: same to you steve, thanks again for getting me my old board back
Steve: It's no problem evelyn, I may use my powers to prank…a LOT…but I also like using them sometimes to do some good where I can, so again, no problem, now I’m guessing you’re here for boards? That is unless you’re here for food
Hudson: no thanks on my end, my mom packed me some sandwiches
Steve: mmm…you sure about that? Just look at the menu
Hudson: *looks at the menu and it reads “Anything you want all for the low price of FREE-Ninety-nine”* uhhh, this just says anything I want?
Steve: For FREE Ninety-nine
Aaron jokingly: you can’t beat Free ninety-nine, but we probably shouldn’t right before we go surfing
Hudson innocently: wow uncle A, I’m surprised you were able to resist the tempting of…*doing his gollum impression* … PRECIOUS…
Evelyn: *snorts* Nice one Hudson! *hi-fives him*
Aaron dryly; How funny…I can resist Cherry pie, thank you, Steve, we’ll take two boards, one for me and one for hudson
Steve: Alright, so for Aaron, let’s do this… *pulls out a yellow surfboard with a red windmill on it* How’s this?
Aaron: Perfect, thanks Steve! –how did you even–
Steve: Think about who you’re talking to…
Aaron: …right
Steve: now for hudson, *pulls out another surfboard with an board that’s red on one side with an Arc Reactor logo on it and gold on the other with a spy logo on it*
Hudson: cool! *takes it* thanks!
Ben: *walking over with Rosie* So you’re steve?
Steve: and you’re Ben, and you’re Rosie, i’ve met your sister, and your niece, nice to finally meet you
Rosie: I gotta ask…did you actually put Oliver in Friend Like Me–
Steve: As Aladdin? Yep!
Evelyn: …I’m sorry, did I hear you say your name is…Ben?
Ben: That’s right, Ben Skywalker, and you are?
Evelyn: *slightly pale*…Evelyn A–Tveit…
Rosie: oh SHIT… you’re the one Victoire kept talking about!
Aaron: And I’m Aaron Tveit
Rosie: Wait no, YOU’RE The one who Victoire kept talking about!
Evelyn; …and you are?
Rosie: Rosie Black, I’m Victoire’s cousin
Evelyn: right…
Steve: So what can I help you guys with?
Rosie: two boards, one for me and one for Bennyboo
Steve Casually: two boards for the lovebirds, any preferences?
*awkward silence*
Ben slowly: …how do you–
Steve: Well for one, she just called you Bennyboo, which is a name I know you usually get super annoyed when Charlotte references, and you didn’t even flinch, and two…is this not common knowledge yet?
Rosie: …shit…okay, none of you can tell anyone about this, my dad will flip out
Aaron slowly: but you’re a fully grown adult?Rosie: don’t ask me, it’s a dad thing, but it’ll be WAY worse if it’s not coming from me
Steve: You have my word, and like most celestials, my word is my bond
Evelyn; yeah, we won’t say anything about you and…Ben…
Ben: good…
Steve: *snaps his fingers and there are two boards behind Ben and Rosie* are these good enough Boards for you
*they both turn*
Rosie: perfect! *takes her board*
Ben: *taking his board* okay, I’m just going to ask one more time before we do this, you’re SURE you’ve done this before?
Rosie: Yes, I promise you I’ve done this before, now let’s go!
*the two run off towards the water*
Steve: …you alright Evelyn?
Evelyn: …yeah, why wouldn’t I be?
Steve: Evelyn…I know…about HIM…about Richie…it comes with the near omniscience…
Hudson: …who’s Richie?
Evelyn: …it’s a long story…
Aaron: …are you okay, ev?
Evelyn: …not really…but I will be…I just need to remember to talk to Lucifer today about moving up my appointment…
Steve: *snaps his fingers and suddenly a purple and yellowish drink appears in front of her* here, try this, non-alcoholic in order to make sure you don’t fall off your board, but it’ll calm your nerves for now, and guaranteed put a smile on your face, I promise
Evelyn: *slightly curious takes the small glass and takes a sip and immediately gets a smile because of how good it is* Holy SHIT…what the hell did you put in this
Steve: cranberry-grape juice, some mango, papaya, mixed in a lemonade, with a little bit of special Anti-Spectral magic for added flavor, and to tie it all together, AND it’ll keep you hydrated, I call it Spectralade
Evelyn: thanks, Steve *continues to drink it*
Hudson: hang on, can I have–
Evelyn: *as she finishes the drink*
Hudson: …a sip…
Evelyn; …sorry…
Steve: it’s fine *snaps his fingers and two more glasses appear* one for aaron and one for hudson
Evelyn slowly awkwardly: would it be alright if I…
Steve: *as she says that he snaps his fingers and the glass refills itself*
Evelyn: …you’re amazing you know that steve?
Aaron: *takes a sip and can’t help but grin* holy shit…definitely glad I got to claim him as one of my new best friends
Hudson: *takes a sip of his drink* THIS IS AMAZING!!
Steve: oh, which reminds me, Aaron, if you check your beach bag later, there’ll be a purple cell phone in there, that is a direct line for you, to my phone if you ever need anything
Aaron: thanks!
Steve: no problem, now if you’ll excuse me, I, will be returning to watching south park, and I’ll be here if you need anything *gets a remote and presses play on the tv*
*meanwhile as Lucifer’s about to jump in the water for a swim*
Constantine: I’m gonna have to stop you there for a moment there Luci!
Lucifer: oh bloody hell, couldn’t you tell I was about to go for a swim
Constantine: I know, which is why I stopped you, I received a message from General Echo saying there’s a situation in the war room that he needs your assistance with
Lucifer: *sighs dryly* oh for Brother’s sake, if this isn’t in emergency, today will be the day the clones go extinct in our universe *pops out his wings and flies off*
*a while later on the shore of the water*
Annabeth on the shore: this isn’t going to end well…
Obi Wan on the shore: understatement of the millenia
Dick: *walking over to where Obi Wan, Aidan, Poe, Annabeth, Aaron, Ben, and Cal are* So what’s going on here?
Cal: Deadpool challenged a bunch of people to a surfing contest
Constantine: my money’s on Nora wiping out first
Cal: …yeah…I’m not going to fight you on this one, especially since she Can’t Surf…
Aaron: WHAT?! Then Why is she doing this?!
Cal dryly: Because, she’s a west-allen and she was challenged
Ben: I have to say, after trying surfing myself, it’s definitely quite…difficult to say the least, but it’s not that bad…
Dick slowly: can’t she run on water?
Cal and Constantine at the same time: she can…
Annabeth: hang on, aren’t you supposed to be on security duty?
Constantine: I am, I came over because I had a message I had to deliver a message to Lucifer I had received from the base, I was just going to get a drink then head back to my post with Adelynn, our Adelynn, when I saw this happening
Constantine: alright so what’s the line-up?
Aidan: Evelyn, Rosie, Adelynn, Deadpool, Iris, Percy, Bart, Nora, Morgan, Remy, Frost, Charlotte, and Quill…this is going to go terribly isn’t it?
Obi Wan: considering Adelynn just learned how to surf today, yes
Poe dryly: and the same also applies to Charlotte,
Ben: Is this even safe for her to be doing while pregnant??
Poe: we asked around, the majority said it is at the stage she’s at, including that Steve guy…I REALLY don’t like it but if it’s still safe for her to do, I can’t stop her
Aaron: Oh god…
*Steve, Scott, and Cassie all come running over*
Scott: Are we too late?!
Steve: no, they’re still out there*snaps his fingers and suddenly the three of them are sitting down in chairs behind a commentators table with three mics on it, and the table reads “Surf Off”*
Cassie: Nice one Steve!
Obi Wan: What's going on here??
Cassie: they asked the three of them to judge their surfing contest, we had to set up the speakers around the beach so everyone on the beach could hear us
Aaron: Hang on Steve? If you’re here…who’s running the surf shack?
Steve I’m doing that too, I have the ability to split myself, however there are its downsides to it, one of which being I can’t do it for TOO long otherwise the copy will destabilize and my power will begin to temporarily reduce
Aidan: huh…
*on the water*
Percy: alright, what’re the rules?
Deadpool: well waterboy, any weapons and powers are fair game for tricks, but you specifically waterboy can't go overboard with that because that would be SUPER cheating, and once you wipe out, you’re done, you’re out, last man or woman, or person standing wins
Percy: …fair enough…alright, let’s get this thing started, is everyone ready? And don’t worry, once you wipe out, the water will safely bring you back to shore
Everyone: yep!
Evelyn: you better believe I’m ready, I may not have powers or anything, but you better believe I’m still going to kick all of your asses
Iris: …now I see why Vic said I’d like you…but you’re still going down
Evelyn: And now I why she said I’D like YOU…but you’re dead wrong
Bart: …last chance to Back down Nora
Nora: I’m doing this Bart! You’re not talking me out of this
Morgan quietly to Bart: this isn’t going to end well is it
Bart quietly: nope…
Percy: alright, now let’s do this…
*back on the shore*
Steve : Alright guys here we go, welcome everyone to the first multiversal surf-off, My name is Steve also known as the Anti-Spectre, and here joining me today we have the father daughter pairing of Scott, and Cassie Lang, also known as Ant-Man and Stature, now we have many great contestants here participating in this today, and we have had surfer names submitted to us either by them or their loved ones so lets go ahead and read off our contestants, Scott start us off?
Scott; with pleasure Steve, our first contestant, sporting the black starry surfboard with the turquoise lightsaber blade design, we have a jedi knight hailing from universe-364, “CRUISIN’ CHARLIE” Charlotte Dameron!
Poe: Let’s go Charlotte!
Ben: I thought you were against this??
Poe: I am, but she’d kill me if I DIDN’T root for her
Cassie: and for our next contestant we have a witch from universe-62406, a professional quidditch player, we have, “FLOWER POWER” IRIS WOOD!
Aidan: YOU GOT THIS IRIS!!
Steve: now, Hailing from that same universe, we have another witch, a professional Auror, going by the callsign, “RIPTIDE ROSIE” Put your hands together for ROSIE BLACK
Ben: *silently pumps his fist in the air*
Sirius (62406):*walking over with Azalea* ROSIE’S TAKING YOU ALL DOWN SUCKERS
Azalea dryly: remember, Iris is out there
Sirius (62406): EXCEPT FOR IRIS…LOVE YOU IRIS!
Azalea: *facepalms*
Ben slightly nervous: Sirius? What’re you doing over here?
Sirius (62406): We heard about the surf contest and someone mentioned Rosie got challenged so we came over to where we saw the commentator stand for the best view point
Ben: oh…that makes sense, I guess
Scott: and our last Earth-62406 entry we have the Ice Queen herself, KILLER FROST!
Cassie: and now for our only Earth-161015 entry, we have the son of poseidon, one of the strongest demigods in existence, PERSEUS “PERCY” “SEAWEED BRAIN” JACKSON
Annabeth; *snorts at the fact she put that name in*
Steve: now we have one of the Jedi Masters who helped to bring peace to the galaxy of universe-111605, one of the most badass Jedi in her universe, The Blade of the Jedi, ADELYNN “THE BLADE” SKYWALKER-KENOBI…for those confused it’s from a prophecy
Obi Wan: GO ADA!
Scott: and for the next entry, we have one of the best poker players in the multiverse, the badass of baton rouge, “THE RAGIN’ CAJUN” REMY LEBEAU
Cassie: Next up, we have the man who was formerly half celestial, one of the founding members of the Guardians of the Galaxy, and the former Leader of the Guardians PETER QUILL AKA, STAR LORD
Steve: Kicking off our Earth-X entries we have, the girl with the purple lightning, the older of the speedster siblings, the Girl who loves to do things in excess, so much so, that it’s her actual callsign, give it up for NORA WEST-ALLEN, AKA, XS
Cal: C’MON NORA!
Scott: and now we have the younger of the speedster siblings, the more impulsive of the two, but it’s that impulse that tends to make him the life of the party, GIVE IT UP FOR BART WEST-ALLEN AKA, IMPULSE
Cassie; and now, I am proud to announce my girl, the smartest woman of the Earth-X resistance, Resident Resistance Tech Wiz, GIVE IT UP FOR, “THE SURFING STARK” MORGAN STARK
Steve; and now I have the honor of announcing, one of the most badass women of the resistance, ONE OF…Don’t come after me Morgan and Nora…One of the most badass women of the resistance, the woman who can kick ass in style and glam, WE HAVE, THE SPARKLING DIAMOND, EVELYN TVEIT
Scott: And Last, and hopefully Least, we have, the Merc with the Mouth, The asshole himself, the Jackass who gave everyone here stupid nicknames, HERE WE HAVE, WADE WILSON, DEADPOOOOOOOOL
Deadpool in the water with the others on using a megaphone construct he created from his lantern ring: I HEARD THAT PISSANT
Scott: YOU WERE MEANT TO WADE, THAT WAS KIND OF THE POINT
Steve: Okay, moving on…here we go, the wave is forming, and PINCHE MIERDA LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT WAVE, FORMED BY PERCY “SEAWEED BRAIN” JACKSON
Aaron: *pale as a ghost* oh GOD…
Scott: *off the mic* hey, we’re safe here right
Steve: *off the mic* yeah, we’re fine, don’t worry, as long as percy is conscious, the wave will remain stable and he can make sure it doesn’t suck anyone in, and worst case scenario, I’ll use my powers to save everyone
Scott: Okay, good…
Steve: And from the looks of it, we already have our first wipe out, as she’s being safely transported back to shore, XS, is now XTRA OUT, of this contest
Nora: *as she safely washes up on shore next to her board* …shrap, that was faster than I thought it’d be
Cal: *helping her up* you alright Nora?
Nora: I’m fine cal, thanks, only my pride is injured
Cassie: and now everyone else is off to an AMAZING Start, and it looks like Deadpool is about to attempt some kind of trick using his green lantern ring, and he’s slammed the front of his board with a hammer construct launching him up in the air, wait what’s that he’s pulling out mid-air…
Steve: …that’s a gun, which he’s now fired at one of our beach pole speakers and hit with direct accuracy! Incredible, now can he stick the landing that’s the key part…
Scott: AAAAND HE WIPES OUT, DEADPOOL IS OUT OF THE CONTEST
Steve: and it gets worse, from the looks of it, he also knocked out another two competitors on that shitty landing, those being Percy “Seaweed Brain” Jackson, and “The Blade” Adelynn Skywalker Kenobi, and they’ve just washed up on shore, the contest is down to nine contestants
Deadpool: well shit…
Adelynn and Percy: DAMMIT WADE
Percy: I COULD’VE WON THAT THING IF IT WASN’T FOR YOU
Adelynn; sit down Perce because I WOULD’VE won that thing if it wasn’t for him
Obi-Wan: *pinching the bridge of his nose* Oh force I knew this would end badly
Annabeth: …does it get harder after marriage?
Obi-Wan: …I can neither confirm nor deny if it gets easier or harder in current company…
Annabeth: …we’ll talk later…
Obi-Wan: *nods subtly*
Steve: and hang on…it appears Rosie brought her wand out on the water with her and is attempting to cast a knockback jinx on the board as she jumps causing for the board to spin…SHE DID IT, INCREDIBLE, AND SHE STUCK THE LANDING INCREDIBLE
Sirius: NICE ONE ROSIE!!
Ben: *subtly pumps his fist*
Steve: I’d hate to be anywhere else other than here, because this sure is one hell of a show, wouldn’t you say, Cassie? Scott?
*Meanwhile in the resistance War Room*
J’onn J’onzz/John Jones/Martian Manhunter: *in human form* I wake up from my coma today, only to have to hear this loud alarm?? What the hell is this?!
Echo: I don’t know Hank—I mean J’onn, sorry
J’onn: I know, I’ve been out for some time, and I do look like the deceased traitor, commander henshaw, but please try to use my martian name, J’onn, or just call me John, but moving on, what is that beeping coming from?!
Lucifer: What the bloody hell–*recognizing the sound* no way…I know that sound…but that’s impossible… *goes through an old drawer and pulls out a blue holocommunicator in the shape of a blue box and places it on a table and activates it and a hologram of a blue man covered in hair wearing short shorts and a lab coat and glasses and a woman in a yellow shrink suit similar similar to Hope (Van Dyne)’s*
Lucifer: Janet?! Hank?! Is that you?!
Dr. Hank McCoy/Beast: Goodness gracious…Lucifer?? Is that you?!
Lucifer: Yes, it's me, old friend!
Hank: We've done it!
Dr. Janet van Dyne/Wasp: Oh my god FINALLY, DOCTOR, KITTY, BUCKY, ALEXEI, KURT, GET OVER HERE, WE GOT A CONNECTION
*a man in the red guardian suit runs over as well as a man with dark hair and a metal arm, a dark blue man with a demonic appearance in priestly attire, a woman in a sort of red pirate coat and finally a man in a brown long coat and bow tie all hurry over*
Katherine “Kitty” Pryde/Shadowcat: oh my god you actually did it!
Lucifer: Alexei, Bucky, Kurt, Katherine, Doctor?! You’re all alive?! I thought you all died back in the 80s! And Doctor! You have a new face!
Lieutenant James “Bucky” Barnes: I’m sorry, is it not the eighties anymore?? And why are you back in Los Angeles??
Lucifer: …it’s been some time since the eighties…it’s 2025…
Janet: WHAT?!
Father Kurt Wagner/Nightcrawler: 2025?! That is definitely some change…speaking of which, I’m going to go change back into my normal clothes for when we finally get out of the time stream
The Doctor/General Doctor/The Eleventh Doctor: that missile that hit the T.A.R.D.I.S. It hit while I was doing repairs to the deflector shield, and it was partially repaired, when it hit, but not enough, it launched us into the temporal zone, we’ve been trapped here for five years, but some sort of time vehicle recently entered it, bumping the T.A.R.D.I.S. Restoring enough power for a couple of jumps, but our navigation’s shot, but we were able to hone in on a flux of tachyon movement, matching that of a speedster, whether of its Jay or even that kid, what was his name again, Barry, tell them to keep Running. They very well may be the key to us breaking free of the temporal zone, although fair warning, this is likely going to be a crash landing
Lucifer: *realizes* I know where you’ll be coming out of, you’ll be coming out over the LA Coast, on a beach I own, it came with Lux, There’ll be a lot of people there, AIM FOR THE GIANT TARGET ON THE BEACH WHEN CRASHING
Alexei Shostakoff/The Red Guardian: giant target? What are you talking about Luci?!
Lucifer: just trust me, I’ll try to clear the area
Doctor: Alright, Hank, Janet, and Kitty with me on controls, KURT I HOPE YOU’RE CHANGED BECAUSE WE NEED YOU BACK OUT HERE, Alexei, Bucky, hang onto something, because we’re getting out of here!
Hank: we’ll see you soon Lucifer *ends the communication*
J’onn: The Doctor’s Alive?!
Lucifer: Apparent—J’onn! When did you wake up?!
J’onn: today! Echo was just giving me the tour of the new—well new, old base
Lucifer: okay, J’onn, you and I are going to have to catch up later, but for now, I need to go deal with this *pops out out his wings and jumps out of the nearest Open window and flies towards the beach*
*meanwhile back on the beach*
Steve: And we’re down to Two competitors left! We have THE SPARKLING DIAMOND
*half of the crowd cheers for evelyn*
Steve: AND RIPTIDE ROSIE
*the other half of the crowd cheers for her*
Percy: …I’ve been doing this for a while now, how much longer are they going to be doing this for!
Steve: I can see them both starting to falter a little… THE SPARKLING DIAMOND JUST DID AN AMAZING FLOATER, BUT WHAT'S THIS?! RIPTIDE ROSIE HAS JUST STARTED NOSERIDING
Scott: this is truly an Amazing display of surfing excellence we have today
Percy; hey, we’re going to have to rap this up soon, I’m bringing the thing to shore
Cassie: Alright, the water is shifting towards the shore, so ladies, now’s the time for your final tricks to impress the judges slash commentators
Steve: IT APPEARS AS IF RIPTIDE ROSIE HAS JUST STARTED TUBE RIDING, INCREDIBLE
Scott: BUT LET'S NOT COUNT THE SPARKLING DIAMOND OUT JUST YET, IT APPEARS SHE'S ATTEMPTING A SUPERMAN
Cassie: AND OH MY GOD SHE'S DONE IT, AND SHE'S SAFELY RECONNECTED WITH THE WAVE TOO, THE ONLY WAY RIPTIDE ROSIE COULD EVEN HOPE TO COMPETE IS IF SHE KEEPS UP WITH THIS CONTINUOUS TUBE RIDE ALL THE WAY TO SHORE UNTIL THE WAVE DIES OUT
Steve: she seems to be doing it…
*when the wave starts to die down*
Steve: okay, now, here’s the tricky part, The Sparkling Diamond had an easy access out of the wave, but Riptide Rosie is still tube riding, If she doesn’t figure out how to safely exit the wave from the tube ride, she’ll likely wipeout, and that will be the end of the contest…She’s Doing it… INCREDIBLE, SHE MADE IT OUT OF THE TUBE WAVE RIDE PERFECTLY, and now they’ve both started floating back to shore, and now in the event of a tie, the three of us were asked to discuss about who had the most badass tricks, so with that, we’ll be back *he turns off their mics*
*when they both get back to shore*
Rosie: Bloody hell that was hard, but it was fun as hell
Evelyn: agreed, nice job out there
Rosie: thanks! Same to you!
Steve: *turns the mics back on* Now for those listening, I, Scott, and Cassie, were asked that in the event of a tie we choose based on how badass the tricks were of the two tying contestants, and it was extremely difficult to do, because you were both badasses…so now… I am proud to declare, to make you BOTH THE WINNERS OF THIS SURFING CONTEST, SURPRISE TWIST Y'ALL
Everyone else there but Cassie: WHAT?!
Cassie dryly: dad, you knew about this
Scott: I know, it was just fun to pretend I didn’t
Steve: anyway…Congratulations to the both of you! And to the victors go the trophies–
Everyone else there: TROPHIES?!
Rosie and Evelyn: YES!!
Deadpool: hang on a second, I’m the one who challenged everyone to the contest, and I don’t remember any trophies!
Steve: That’s because there weren’t any…but there is now! *dramatically pulls a sheet off of two large silver trophies that are suddenly on the commentators table*
Rosie and Evelyn: YESSSS *hi-five each other*
Aaron: congrats Ev…*semi-dry/joking* Both on winning the contest and damn near giving me a heart attack
Evelyn innocently: thanks, I try
Sirius: brilliant job Rosie, I knew you’d win!
Iris dryly thanks grandpa sirius
Sirius: *slowly awkwardly* …would it help if I reminded you that you’re my favorite grandchild?
Iris: …a little….
Rosie: *snorts* thanks dad
Steve: Alright, everyone back to the surf shack, drinks on me!
Rosie: Thanks for the offer Steve, but I’m going to go drop my winners trophy with my stuff, then I’m going to go for a walk on the beach…I’ll see you all later!*grabs her trophy and starts walking away* *quietly out of the corner of her mouth to ben as she passes him* meet me by the shaded side of the bathroom building in ten minutes
Ben: *subtly nods in understanding*
*the shaded side of the Bathroom building*
Ben: hey rosie, I didn’t get to say it earlier because of your dad and mom, but congrats on the win love
Rosie: thanks Bennyboo, now…I checked, there’s no one around here, and I looked inside the restrooms, I think Steve tricked them out because, they’re SUPER nice and Clean, WAY cleaner than a random beach bathroom building
Ben slightly confused: Okay?
Rosie: *sighs dryly* I love you Bennyboo, but you know you’re just a little bit slow sometimes, but that;s okay, I love you anyway, so I’m going to just spell it out for you, this is the first time we’ve gotten to see each other in a week, and we haven’t gotten to even kiss or really show any affection because of my family being around
Ben: okay…
Rosie flirtingly: *grabbing him by the waistband of his swim trunks* and they say to the victors go the spoils, and well, I’m the victor, so I want you to give me my spoils, by spoiling me filthy
Ben: Right here in the bathroom??
Rosie: Like I said, it’s clean, and it’s private, with a lock, so…*looks at him and puts her arms around his neck, pulling him in for a soft kiss then breaks it to tease him as she then gently tugs on the waistband of his swim trunks* …what do you say?
Ben: I say…your wish is my command…*flirtingly* if you want me to spoil you, I’ll make sure I’ll FULLY Spoil you *slowly kisses her, deeply as he brushes their hips together*
Sirius (62406): *walking over is about to turn around having heard the back-end of that, then sees them together* OH—Okay, I’m just going to go and pretend I saw nothing— *realizes that’s Rosie he’s with* YOU’RE WHAT?!?!
*they immediately separate hearing his voice*
Ben nervously: uhhh—hello there Mr black, there is a perfectly reasonable—
Rosie: Ben, let me handle this, Dad, I can explain, if you just calm—
Sirius (62406): *immediately transforms into Padfoot*
Rosie: —shit…
Ben: …should I run?
Rosie: YES
*ben sprints off from behind the building with Padfoot (62406) following*
Rosie: *Running after them* DAAAAAAD
*they all start running across the beach*
Charlotte: *sees Padfoot (62406) chasing after Ben and Rosie chasing him realizes*oh shit… HANG ON BEN, I'M COMING *joins the people chasing after Padfoot (62406)*
Charlotte to Rosie as they’re running: what the fuck is going on??
Rosie to her as they’re running: my dad saw us making out by the bathrooms about to…well…you know…
Charlotte: oh you’ve GOT to be kidding…and he didn’t know about you guys
Rosie: none of my family did other than my uncle Harry
Charlotte; you guys are TERRIBLE at not getting caught you know that?
Rosie: okay now’s not the time to talk about—
Holly watching this and just laughing: I KNEW IT!! YOUR TURN NOW SIS!!
Charlotte: how long is he going to do this for??
Rosie: either three hours, or we’ll get lucky and he’ll get tired sooner, OR we’ll get REALLY lucky and my mom will see us first and—*suddenly a tiger appears and tackles padfoot*
Ben and Charlotte at the same time: SIRIUS
Ben: *about to force push the tiger*
Rosie: BEN WAIT!!
Ben: What?
Rosie: that’s my mum! …or Paws, In this form
Ben and Charlotte at the same time: WHAT?!
Rosie: yes, my dad can turn into a dog, and my mum can turn into a tiger
Ben: …well okay then
Lucifer: *flies down and pops his wings back in* STEVE, GET OVER HERE I NEED YOUR HELP NOW
Steve: *appears* What's happening luci?
Lucifer: I need a giant target on the beach, right here
Steve: *snaps his fingers and suddenly there’s a giant target on the beach*
Lucifer right, sorry for interrupting whatever this is, weird animal sex or something, but everyone needs to move out of the target area, NOW
*Padfoot and Paws turn back into Sirius (62406) and Azalea*
Rosie: Lucifer? What the hell is going on
*The speedster siblings both run over*
Lucifer: right on time
Bart: Lucifer?? Why is there a giant target on the beach?!
Lucifer: I promise It’ll make sense in a moment, but I need you two to suit up, and run around the target, and keep running around it until I say so, Steve, I need a megaphone
Nora; on it Lucifer
Steve: *pulls out a megaphone out of thin air*
Lucifer: thank you Steve, before you start running you two *pops out his wings as he then flies into the air* *through the megaphone* ATTENTION ALL BEACH PEOPLE, WE HAVE A BIT OF A SITUATION, BUT DO NOT WORRY, ALL WILL BE FINE, BUT I NEED EVERYONE TO STAY AWAY FROM THE GIANT TARGET, *everyone in the target area quickly gets out of it* okay, NORA, BART, NOW
*the two of them start circling the target at superspeed*
*meanwhile inside of the T.A.R.D.I.S.*
Doctor: alright, We’re almost out…the tachyon signatures are anchoring us out of the temporal zone, just a little more…
Hank: Doctor, these tachyon readings are unlike anything I’ve ever seen!
Doctor: they’re not Jay or Barry’s?!
Janet: no, they’re not!
Kitty: Alright then, looks like the resistance has two more speedsters!
Doctor: right, now that’s assuming there even still is a resistance
Alexei: You think we’ve finally won the crusade against the Nazis? That’s great!
Bucky: I don’t know, I know it’ll have been 40 years in the future since we left something tells me our fight isn’t even close to done
Janet: oh god…40 years…what about my Hank, and Hope…they think I’ve been dead for 40 years…Hope will have already grown up by now…oh god, She’ll be older than me…
Doctor: I’m sorry Janet, I’m truly sorry for what’s about to happen, and assuming that there weren’t any drastic changes in the last 40 years, the moment the T.A.R.D.I.S. Is fully repaired, I can take you back, and worst case scenario, you’ll at least have the rest of
Janet: right…*takes a breath*
Doctor: Now, Kurt! How’s the temporal zone looking
Kurt: *carefully sticking his head out of the tardis* IT’S WORKING DOCTOR, THE TIME VORTEX IS OPENING *closes the Tardis door*
Doctor: Alright then, GERONIMO! *pulls a lever on the Tardis console that projects them through the time vortex*
*Back on the Beach*
Lucifer: *sees the Tardis appear out of thin air as it starts free falling* *through the megaphone* IMPULSE, XS, GET AWAY FROM THE TARGET, NOW
*they do so*
*the Tardis falls until it crashes on its side, right onto the target*
Lucifer: *flies down*
*all of the adults swarm the crashed tardis*
Cal: …isn’t that the Tardis??
Lucifer: you know what the–*remembers* That’s right, you, Bart, Annabeth, Percy and Azalea all met the Doctor…
Constantine: The Doctor’s Alive??
*the door facing up opens as the Doctor pokes his head out*
Teddy: hang on…that’s the Doctor…HOLY SHIT THAT’S THE DOCTOR, Oh Louis is going to be SO pissed he missed this
Doctor: oh, that’s a rough landing…one second *closes the door as the Tardis then fades out of existence for a second then fades back, but the right way up this time* *as the doctor steps out* oh WOW…I forgot for a moment how bright the sun could be…Hello everyone, to those who don’t know me, I’m the–
Lucifer: Doctor! *goes to hug him*
Doctor: Luci! *hugs him back* good to see you again
Bart: Wait a minute…you’re the doctor? You don’t look like the guy we met back in the 50s?
Doctor: met in the 50s? What’re you–*remembers* wait a second, I remember you…you’re the speedster we met all those years ago, and you, the Jedi *pointing to Cal* *to annabeth and Percy* The demigods… *to Azalea* and the witch…incredible…so this is when Lucifer gets involved with the multiverse…
Charlotte: I’m sorry, you said you’re the Doctor? Doctor Who?
The Doctor, Lucifer, Teddy, Deadpool, Azalea, and Steve: exactly!
Doctor: just call me Doctor, or The Doctor, and to answer why I don’t look the same, when the T.A.R.D.I.S. Was stuck in the temporal zone, I got electrocuted, died, regenerated, and now I have a new face, I’m a Time Lord you see, if I die, I can regenerate, only my appearance changes
Cal: So that's why you look like this…and are wearing a bow tie?
Doctor; hey, Bowties are cool!
Teddy: And it’s Matt Smith’s Doctor, Louis’ favorite one! Oh he’s going to be SO mad when he hears about this
Doctor: Oh, and I don’t come alone *yelling into the Tardis* We’re all clear!
*everyone files out of the Tardis as Kurt closes the door behind him*
Evelyn; okay, how do you fit so many people into that box?!
Morgan: *recognizing one of the women* wait a second, I recognize you…YOU’RE JANET VAN DYNE!!!
Janet: You know who I am?
Morgan: know you? You were one of the few WOMEN Scientists to ever even WANT to work for the resistance! You Were one of my Idols!
Janet: you’re a woman in science for the resistance
Morgan: yes! I’m the head of R&D for the resistance! You probably knew my grandpa, Howard Stark
Janet; you’re Howard’s Granddaughter?? I guess it makes sense a Stark would be the first woman to lead the R&D, good for you
Morgan: yep! Granddaughter of Howard, daughter of Tony *mentally freaking out meeting her*
Alexei: So there's still a resistance…
Lucifer: yes, unfortunately the Nazis still reign, but luckily, thanks to our multiversal friends we’ve knocked them down quite a few pegs as of recent, so do you remember Palpatine?
Kitty dryly: The Crazy Dictator who’s the reason our earth is total shit? Yeah, I remember him.
Lucifer: yes, well about ten years after you disappeared, palpatine died and Vader, his new right hand, took over at nineteen years old
Bucky: He was only nineteen?? And became the new Fuhrer?
Lucifer: yes, and years later he’d take on an apprentice, Darth Gedule, well thanks to our multiversal friends, Vader was killed in battle, and we captured Gedule, then after that, my twin brother Michael took over, leading a new Nazi organization known as the sixth reich, and we stopped him from taking over the multiverse, and as of now, the new leader, is Brainiac, or Vril Dox
Doctor: Based on that name, I’m guessing he’s Coluan?
Lucifer: that’s right
Doctor: yes, well I’m sure the resistance will find a way to take him down,
Lucifer: okay, to catch everyone else here up who is clearly lost, these are some old friends of mine from the past, there’s the Doctor, Janet van Dyne aka the original Wasp, Katherine “Kitty” Pryde, Father Kurt Wagner or nightcrawler is the one with the tail, Dr. Henry “Hank” McCoy or Beast is the one obviously in a lab coat, then we have Sergeant James “Bucky” Barnes or the Winter Soldier being the one with the metal arm, Captain Alexei Shostakoff is the one with the Shield, or the Red Guardian as he’s known as, and I think that covers anyone
Evelyn: Okay, this is a lot to take in, but I have one important question…what’s with the phone box?
Doctor: That's my T.A.R.D.I.S. Now, Janet, Bucky, we’ve been through a lot together, and don’t worry, I’ll be back shortly, I just need to make a trip to Krakoa so we can drop off Katherine, Kurt, and Hank, then I need to head over to the soviet base and drop of Alexei
Lucifer: about that…I have a lot to catch you all up on…the first of which being…the siege of 1995, Right after Vader became the new ruler, The Nazis made an all out attack on All of our bases, and now because of it, there are only two fronts remaining, the American Branch, led by me, of which there are refugees from those who survived the siege of the other bases, and Atlantis, led by king Arthur Curry, also with many refugees
Alexei: …so the Soviet Union–
Lucifer: now a part of the fatherland unfortunately…I’m sorry, Alexei, truly
Kurt: and Krakoa? What of it?
Lucifer: Sunk, they destroyed it, and Erik and Charles, they made examples out of them
Kurt: *in tears* no…
Hank: no…wait…does the Name Jubilation Lee or Roberto de la Costa mean anything to you, please Lucifer, think hard–
Lucifer: they’re safe Hank, in fact, they’ve been happily married for the last ten years, and have a child together
Hank: …did many survive?
Lucifer: *shakes his head sadly*
Kitty: our home…gone…
Lucifer: I’m sorry, but if you’d like, you’re more than welcome to stay with us at the LA branch, or if you’d prefer I could call Arthur, I’m sure he’d be happy to have you in atlantis
Kurt: thank you Lucifer, and i can only pray that they are all safe with god
Lucifer: they are, you see the year after you disappeared, my brother Amenadiel became God
Iris: wow this is insane…
Lucifer: right, now you six, this is, Evelyn and Aaron Tveit, Evelyn’s one of our spies and her and Aaron are both resistance actors, and some of you are already familiar with Cal Kestis and Bart West-Allen, cal being a Jedi, Bart a speedster going by impulse, he’s actually Barry’s son
Hank: Barry has a son??
Lucifer: he did, but first he had a daughter, Nora West-Allen, also a speedster, goes by XS, and You’re now familiar with Morgan Stark, Head of R&D and The Iron Maiden, and you’ve all met John Constantine our head of magical defense, and that covers all of the earth-X people here you need to know at the moment, then from Earth-Prime we have Cisco Ramon aka Vibe, and Earth 89 we have Dick Grayson aka nightwing, from universe 364 we have Charlotte and Poe Dameron, from Earth-6246 there’s Nikki and Sirius Black, from 62406 we have Iris and Aidan Wood, Holly and George Weasley, Teddy and Victoire Lupin, Then we have Sirius, Azalea, whom you already know, and Rosie Black, then we have Frost, after that we have Remy—
Remy: Beast, Kitty, Nightcrawler, dat really you?
Hank, Kitty, and Kurt: REMY?!
Lucifer: Doppelgängers, remember?
Remy: oh…right
Lucifer: as I was saying, this is Remy LeBeau of Earth-111605, formerly of earth-infinity, like frost, also from Earth-111605, we have Aurora and Sirius Malfoy-Black, and from Coruscant-111605 we have Obi-Wan Kenobi and Adelynn Skywalker-Kenobi, and Anakin Skywalker and Padme Amidala-Skywalker, Earth-200000 there’s Scott and Cassie lang aka Ant-Man and Stature, we have Peter Quill aka Star-Lord, Earth-161015, Annabeth Chase and Percy Jackson, from Earth-Infinity, I believe you all remember Deadpool
Kitty dryly: another one?? Wasn’t one enough?!
Lucifer: ours died
Kitty: oh…AND YOU STILL FOUND ANOTHER ONE
Lucifer: moving on…and Steve…well it’s complicated with Steve…
Steve; the Devil speaks the truth
Doctor: And these are all members of the resistance??
Lucifer: …no, the Earth-X ones are, but as for the rest, they’re a part of something larger than the resistance, something that I’ll have to catch you all up on later
*all of a sudden they see an animatronic flying monkey fly at the doctor*
Doctor: *quickly pulls out a small device from his pocket as it makes a humming sound causing for the monkey to crash to the ground* thank you sonic screwdriver *scans it using the sonic screwdriver* oh no…
Lucifer: Doctor— …is that—
Doctor darkly: weaponized. Flying. Monkey.
Holly: I’m sorry, come again?
Lucifer and the Doctor at the same time: …Toyman…
Adelynn (X): *sprinting over* Lucifer! We have a massive problem, Constantine’s magic barrier is holding up for now but—*all of a sudden there are a bunch of Nazi soldiers storming the beach, as well as a couple of weird robots that look like astromech droids*
*suddenly they see a bunch of Nazi soldiers marching on the beach, and an army of flying monkeys above the soldiers*
Holly: Oh you’ve got to be FUCKING KIDDING ME
Iris: Are those Flying monkeys…WITH GUNS?!
Doctor: *staring at what looks like astromech droids* Daleks…
Lucifer: …Doctor, What’s a Dalek?
Teddy: put it this way, we might be fucked
Charlotte: …are you talking about those things that look like astromechs…
Doctor: there’s a reason why I don’t talk about my past, why I had to flee Galifrey, HOW Galifrey was destroyed, why I’m the last of the Time Lords…Because that my friend; is no astromech…if there were ever a time for weapons now would be that time
Lucifer: not that I’m not agreeing with you, but, Doctor, you always were one to try to go against Violence
Doctor: that’s right, I am but for those vile, chaotic beings of destruction, and death, I will make an exception
*all of the Jedi force pull their lightsabers (and those that have them, wands) from their bags*
Adelynn (X): *grabs her lightsaber*
Morgan: *suits up*
Evelyn: uh…what about the rest of us
Kitty: Kurt, you might want to get your swords from
The Tardis
Steve: don’t worry, I’ve got it *snaps his fingers and suddenly any weapons anyone brought with them is in their hands, except for those who already had weapons on them*
Lucifer: Any chance you’ll be joining us for this fight Steve?
Steve: sorry, but you know the rules Luci, I can’t unless it’s a multiversal battle
Evelyn: Look at the amount of people here from different universes! You don’t think this qualifies!
Steve : normally the qualification is the multiverse has to be in danger, so I don’t know…okay I’m gonna have to make a call *pulls out a purple smartphone and starts scrolling through his contact list until he finds a contact listed as Jacob* okay, here’s our writer *puts the phone up to his ear* yo boss, is it alright if I fight in this battle, the loophole is there are a shit ton of people from across the multiverse here…uh-huh…wait really?? Okay, what’re the conditions…alright, deal, thanks *hangs up puts his phone away and suddenly is wearing his dark purple Anti-Spectre Cloak and is holding a sword* good news, I can stay, but the deal with the writer is I can’t use my full powers, so let’s see how this goes
Cisco: hey Aidan *pulls out a ring* catch! *tosses it to him*
Aidan: is this—
Cisco: your new suit? Yeah, I finished it yesterday, I brought it in case you showed up to this thing, figured now would be as good a time as any to give it to you
Aidan: *speeds into his new orange speedster suit, similar to the old one, only this time with a cowl* I love it!
Cisco: good, now, time for some field testing
*the army stops, as a tall, older, white man with glasses a leather jacket and gray hair walks out of the crowd*
Lucifer: hello Winslow, it’s been too long
Winslow Schott/Toyman: Hello Lucifer, it’s been some time since we fought last, but I’m not here for you today, as you know, there are two men who I loathe more than you, The Trickster, which I heard he fell, I was happy, and the other being…the Doctor, I saw his blue box, hand over the madman in the blue box, and your friends will be free to go, you’ll be taken but that’s to be expected, you understand
Doctor: *laughs* you think I’M a madman?! Well you’re right, I am, and I do have a blue box, but you must be FAR madder than I if you’re working with the Daleks!
All of the Daleks: THE DOCTOR HAS BEEN LOCATED, MUST EXTERMINATE THE DOCTOR
Toyman: Not yet! well Hello Doctor, it seems you’ve regenerated since we last met
Lucifer; you’re not getting the Doctor
Toyman: *talking into his earpiece* oh? What’s that now? I see…Take the children
Aidan: NO *starts to speed off but is launched back by a man in a yellow suit, with red lightning*
???: not so fast…
Toyman: I have a new friend to introduce you to, or rather an old one
Charlotte: Hang on, aren't you dead?!?! Your ship blew up!
Iris: *slightly pale* no, that was Eddie thawne, Cobalt Blue, this is Eobard Thawne, Reverse-Flash… who should also be Dead…
Eobard Thawne/Reverse Flash (X): *laughs* i believe you’re referring to my earth-prime doppelgänger, no, I am The Reverse flash of this earth, and I am very much alive, *looking to Nora and Bart* and I have been WAITING to meet you two, XS and Impulse or should I say, Nora and Bart West-Allen, and if you’re wondering why that is, you should ask Lucifer about my history with your father, and your uncle
Bart: We have our own reverse flash?!?!
Lucifer: it’s a long story I’ll explain later
Thawne: either hand over the doctor, or you’ll have to go through me to get to your children
Lucifer: not gonna happen
Thawne: Well then… *starts vibrating as his eyes turn red and his voice becomes distorted* …catch me if you can *speeds off*
*Aidan speeds after him with Nora and Bart following*
Toyman: So you've chosen death for you all then…kill them all… *soldiers all whip out wands, pull out blasters and guns, with some even having lightsabers*
All of the Daleks: EXTERMINATE EXTERMINATE *all of the Daleks start firing their gun sticks and the flying monkeys start moving in and firing bullets*
Constantine quickly: omnes socios meos ab iniuria defendat! *casts a protection charm on everyone* that ought to hold up, but be careful, it’ll keep you lot from dying, but I can’t guarantee you won’t get hurt after too many hits*
Doctor: you all take care of the soldiers, I’ll deal with the monkeys *uses his sonic screwdriver to start deactivating the the monkeys*
Holly: allow me to help Doctor *firing off bombardment charms at the monkeys* DIE MONKEYS DIEEEEEEE
Deadpool: hey! Bohemian boy! *throws a gun at Aaron* I know you’re not much of a fighter but you need to defend yourself somehow
Aaron: *smirks* thanks Deadpool *starts firing his gun at nazis*
Evelyn: …wasn’t expecting that but I’m not complaining *holding her diamond gun starts firing diamonds at nazis*
Morgan: I’ll try to make my way to the kids!
Aurora: *blocking spell shots and dodging blaster fire and lasers from the gunsticks* Get them to the Bar! *firing spell shots at nazis*
Aaron: Get Hudson there too! Make Sure he’ll be safe! *firing his gun*
Morgan: That was kind of the plan!
Kurt: Evelyn! *holding two swords in his hands, and one in his tail*
Evelyn: *firing the diamond gun* Kurt? Right? What’s the problem
Kurt: while morgan is working her way through the crowd, I know a way I could help you work through the crowd too, to your child
Evelyn: he’s my godson, but I can’t go without Aaron, I’m not leaving him in a fight
Aaron: I’ll be fine Evelyn! Just go save hudson!
Kurt: considering I don’t know the exact spot they’re at, this’ll take a couple of jumps, grab my shoulder, and be ready to shoot
Evelyn: okay? *puts his her hand on his soldier* …wait, what do you mean a couple of jumps?
Kurt: you’ll see in just a moment *they both disappear in a puff of black smoke and appear in another part of the beach surrounded by soldiers*
Evelyn: oh shit *starts firing diamonds with her Diamond gun*
Kurt: may god forgive me for this, and may he save all of our souls *starts using his three swords swords to attack the soldier*
*meanwhile with the kids*
Hope: …hadrian, is it just me, or do you feel like something’s wrong?
Hadrian: it’s not just you Hope
Hudson; *while with some tools he brought, tinkering with a watch he’s wearing* What do you mean you feel like somethings wrong…*closes the watch cap on the gold watch* alright, I think I finally got this done, I had already made it so it’ll work without me having an arc reactor INSIDE of me, but this should make it so I can jailbreak the biolock so I can reset it…here we go…
Sirius Regulus: uhhh…guys…?
Hudson: one second Sirius…*presses his thumb on the watch cap causing for it to turn red as he then presses a combination of buttons on the watch causing for an iron-man gauntlet to form around his right hand* I DID IT!
Marlene: HUDSON
Hudson: WH–*looks up from the watch and sees the nazi army coming* crap…okay, guys *stands up* everyone get behind me
Hope dryly: we’re not babies you know *force pulls her lightsaber from their beach bag*
Hadrian: *does the same* yeah, we’re jedi
Hudson: Okay, aren’t you nine?? HOW ARE YOU ALLOWED TO HAVE ONE OF THOSE?!
Hadrian: You can get one starting at eight where we’re from?
Hudson: I want one!
Hope: are you force sensitive?
Hudson: I don’t think so?
Hadrian: then good luck
*marlene and sirius run then come back with their prank pouches*
Sirius Regulus: we’re back with our prank pouches!
Hudson: alright, form a circle and get all the younger kids in the middle
*they do so with Luke, Leia, Morgan, Shmi, and Arthur Leo in the middle of *
Hudson: and hide your weapons behind your back, we don’t want them to get suspicious right away
*they put their weapons behind their backs*
*a couple of soldiers come over to where the kids are*
Random Soldier: Sir, should we call this in?
Soldier group leader: of course we should call this in *into an earpiece* General Schott, come in…we found ten children…understood sir…Toyman says to take the children, you’re coming with us kids
Hudson: NOW *reveals the gauntlet on his right hand and repulsor blasts the leader with it qt the head, launching him back, knocking him unconscious*
*hope and hadrian both ignite their respective yellow and blue lightsabers just as two soldiers try to fire their blasters onto them and they deflect them both back at the soldiers knocking them both out
Marlene: Enjoy the fireworks!
*both her and Sirius Regulus pull out a sort of powerful self exploding firecracker and throw them at two more nazi soldiers knocking them both out so there’s only one soldier left*
The Soldier into his earpiece: REQUESTING BACKUP, I REPEAT, BACKUP IS–
Hudson: *blasts him knocking him out* stay ready, there’s more coming
*a couple of soldiers show up*
Hudson: *blasting them as they come*
Sirius Regulus and Marlene: *throwing firecrackers at them as they come*
Hope and Hadrian: *deflecting the blaster shots back at the soldiers as they fire*
*they then see a woman in a red coat stabbing and slashing nazis with a *
Kitty: Hold your fire! I’m on your side! I’m resistance!
Hudson: …who are you?
Kitty: The name’s kitty pryde, I came from the blue box that just crashed on the beach, I’m here to help you guys!
Hudson: …how’d you get here so fast?
Kitty: I’m a phaser, it’s a part of my mutation
Hudson: BEHIND YOU *fires a repulsor blast at a nazi soldier behind her*
Kitty: *turns and sees him on the ground* Nice shot kid, I like you *slashes at another coming nazi* there’s more coming, but it’s alright, we’ve got backup coming too, which one of you is hudson
Hudson: That'd be me?
Kitty: great, a friend of mine is coming with your godmother, and Tony’s daughter what was her name…Morgan, is making her way over as well
Hudson: Gre–CRAP Miss Stark’s going to KILL me, or worse she’ll fire me
Kitty: Fi–you have a resistance job?! How Old Are you?!
Hudson: eleven, but I’m almost twelve, and I’m a kid genius, so I’m interning with Morgan for R&D
Kitty: oh…okay, that makes more sense
Hope: hang on, why would she kill you?
Hudson: well…the incognito gauntlet watch I’ve been working on is one I might have “Borrowed without asking”
Kitty: Okay, so you did a little light stealing, I do that all the time! And people love me!
Hudson: Well…this one was one of the old broken ones she had just lying around…that belonged to her dad
Kitty: Okay So–
Hudson bluntly: He’s Dead…
Kitty: …oh you’re screwed kid, good luck, but that’s for later, soldiers incoming *holding two her two katanas slashes at more incoming nazis as the come*
Hudson: crap… *goes back to blasting nazis as they come*
*suddenly Kurt and Evelyn appear in a puff of black smoke*
Kurt: Kitty?! How’d you beat us here?!
Kitty: *charges at a nazi soldier, phases through them then while behind their back tabs them* that’s how
Evelyn freaking out: Hudson! Kids! Are you all okay
Hudson: We’re okay Aunt Ev–AUNT EV GET DOWN
Evelyn: *quickly drops to the ground as hudson blasts the nazi behind her that was about to shoot her then gets back up* Thanks hud–wait a second…WHERE DID YOU GET THAT?!?!
Hudson: uhhhh…I’d like to remind you I just saved your life?
Evelyn: *shooting more nazis that are showing up* …we’re coming back to this later!
Hudson: *sighs as he blasts more nazis* alright
*all of a sudden more nazis show up, this time with daleks*
Kitty: oh you’ve got to be kidding me MORE?!?!
Evelyn: hang on…aren’t those the death creatures the Doctor warned us about?
Kurt: They are…
Kitty: …Kurt, now I know you and I don’t always see eye to eye when it comes to faith with me being a Jew and you being a catholic priest, but with you being a priest and all, now would be a good time for you to try to get the father to come save our asses
Kurt: …that’s not how it works and you know it Katherine, but… God, I ask that you protect our souls, and those of our enemies, in the case that someone on this beach, joins you today in the kingdom of heaven
Steve: IF SOMEONE DOES IT AIN’T GOING TO BE ANYONE ON OUR SIDE GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY *appears in a cloud of purple smoke which he uses his powers to control and go in the face of the surrounding nazis which knocks all of them out, including the daleks whose blue eyes go dark* No Children get hurt on my watch, Cabrones. (In this context it means bastard)
Evelyn: …Steve, how the hell is it you seem to get even more and more awesome the longer I know you
Steve: You know, that’s just how I am chica…although that did take a little more out of me than it normally would…probably because I’m not allowed to be at full strength thanks to my agreement with the writer
Evelyn: Who the hell is the writer??
Steve: uhh… technically I’m not allowed to name drop, and you wouldn’t get it anyway, all I’ll say, is he’s a friend of YOUR writer
Evelyn: …you’re right, that makes absolutely no sense
Morgan: *appears in a flash of blue and yellow lightning in her iron maiden suit* Deactivate Speed Racer Protocol *the lightning over the arc reactor disappears as her suit changes back to looking like her normal iron maiden suit* holy shit, there are a lot of Nazis knocked out…and Daleks too??
Steve: mostly my handiwork, although I give credit where it is do, Evelyn took some down, So did Kurt, and Kitty, a good chunk of these were actually taken down by the kids, because let's see *pointing to hope and hadrian* …Jedi younglings… *pointing to Sirius Regulus and Marlene* …Pranksters with firecrackers…*pointing to Hudson* …genius with an Iron Gauntlet
Morgan: *the nanobots making up the faceplate in her helmet moves around revealing her face* Genius with a what now?? *notices the watch he’s wearing and the glove* …is that my dad’s mark-45 incognito gauntlet watch?!
Hudson: maybe…
Morgan: And you got it to work?!?!
Hudson: …yes…?
Morgan: Incredible! Not even I managed to get one of his biolocked watches to work…Nice work kid!
Hudson a little surprised: th-thanks! So you’re not mad?
Morgan: honestly I’m more impressed than anything
Hudson: …impressed enough to–
Morgan: don’t push your luck kid, you’re not getting an iron suit…
Hudson: *presses the necessary buttons to deactivate the glove as it goes back into his watch* I’m guessing you’re going to want this back then?
Morgan: hold on now kid I never said that…you can keep the watch
Hudson: Wait Really?!
Morgan; yeah, it suits you, plus, you figured out how to unlock and power it without having an arc reactor INSIDE Your body, seems only right you should keep it
Hudson: thanks miss stark!
Kurt: not to interrupt this heartfelt moment, but I heard that Morgan, you knew of somewhere safe to get the kids
Evelyn: finally someone said it, thank you Kurt
Morgan: right, alright, time to test this see if it works…Friday, Open spectral breach *a green breach opens up* alright, everyone through there, hudson, you’re in charge, make sure Oliver knows what's going on
Hudson: but–
Evelyn: no buts Hudson, do what morgan said and get through the breach
Hudson: BU–
Evelyn: HUDSON–Please…do it for me…or at least…*somewhat jokingly* do it so I don’t have to pick you up and throw you through the breach myself
Hudson: *laughs weakly* …fine…
Hope: I’ll get shmi *turns off his lightsaber*
Hadrian: Luke, Leia, you’re with me
Hudson: I’ll get Arthur
Marlene: I got Morgan
Hudson: alright, now that all the little kids are figured out, let’s get out of here
Evelyn: finally something we all agree on
Morgan: Hudson, don’t think this is us shafting you, your job isn’t just to stay safe, you also need to let oliver know what’s going on
Steve: yeah, because the writer kind of screwed us by only letting me use like five percent of my power
Evelyn: FIVE PERCENT?! THIS HAS BEEN YOU AT FIVE PERCENT?!
Steve: yeah, believe me, if I was at full power, this battle would’ve been over, hell at full power if I wanted to, WHICH I DON’T, I could probably destroy entire universes
Evelyn: …shit…
Hudson: got it…and Oliver is?
Morgan: literally the only grown adult you’ll probably see in there…unless he’s hanging with Barry…or Sara…Or Kara…if he’s not the only one there, the one in the green button-up shirt
Hudson; got it
*all of the kids make their way through the portal*
Kurt: *sees more nazis showing up* it appears we have more company
Evelyn: *groans* Are you kidding me?? I’ve NEVER had this many nazis keep coming, this relentlessly in a fight
Morgan: yeah…I’m starting to think part of it’s just the lucky of joining the multiversal shit, once you join, your luck goes to shit
Evelyn: Well shit…
*In the multiversal bar*
Oliver Queen/The Spectre/Green Arrow: *drinking a beer* …why do I have a bad feeling…
*a breach opens up with all the kids coming through it*
Oliver; *stands up seeing them all come through without their parents* What happened?
Hudson: there’s a nazi attack going on right now on the beach, and it’s a big one
Hadrian: our parents sent us here for the time being
Oliver: got it…hang on, who’re you??
Hudson: Hudson Hurder-Alves, future spy slash iron kid, I’m workshopping names, and current intern for Resistance R&D, Morgan and my Aunt Evelyn sent me, and I’m guessing you’re Oliver, nice to meet you sir
Oliver: Same to you kid, alright, you guys can stay here, but I have to make a few calls, if you guys need anything, food, something to drink, you name it, I got it *pulls out his specphone and makes a call and Chewbacca picks it up* Chewbacca, I’m calling because there’s a situation on earth-X, I need you to grab Rey and Finn if you can, and get to the bar so I can send you to the beach on Earth-X
Chewbacca in Shyriiwook: Are Charlotte and Poe okay?!
Hope poking her head into the hologram: The Two of them, and Ben are fighting bad guys on the Beach now!
Chewbacca in Shyriiwook: I’ll get Rey and Finn and we’ll be there soon *hangs up*
Oliver: how’d you know what he said?
Hadrian: Master Yoda and our Aunt Ahsoka have been teaching us Shyriiwook
Oliver: right, I forgot about that for a moment, alright *makes a another call* Jonah?
Sheriff Jonah Hex: *picks up* whaddya want Mister Queen?
Oliver: Jonah, there’s a situation on Earth-X, we need your help
Jonah: say no more, I’ll grab my pistols and be right on my way *hangs up*
Oliver *makes another call* Ray?
Ray Palmer/The Atom: Oh, Hey Oliver, How’re you doing?
Oliver: I’m doing fine Ray, but there’s a fight going down on earth-x there are other guardians there, and they need back-up
Ray: alright, I’ll be on my way, I just need to suit up *hangs up*
Hadrian: How many people are you calling??
Oliver: just a few more *makes another call* Loki, there’s a problem going on, on your earth…
*meanwhile back on the beach literally right after they left*
*all of a sudden in a green puff of smoke, Loki appears with Martin, Jax, Echo and Snart*
Prof. Martin Stein/Firestorm: It appears Mister Queen wasn’t joking when he said you could use our assistance, don’t you agree Jefferson
Jefferson “Jax” Jackson/Firestorm: I definitely do Gray, let’s do this
*the two merge into firestorm then fly into battle*
Echo: where’s Adelynn?!
Morgan: which–
Echo: OUR Adelynn
Morgan:*pointing in a direction in the battle* back that way I think?
Echo: I’m coming Ori’vod *runs into the battle with his lightsaber in one hand and his blaster in the other*
Snart: *sees a flash of red lightning being chased by two purple lightning flashes and a yellow one* …was that a speedster? In lightning?!
Morgan: Eobard Thawne, our earth’s version, I didn’t even know we had an Eobard thawne on this Earth
Snart: *eyes widening slightly* that’s because the man’s a ghost, we don’t talk about him much at the resistance and for good reason, now I need to go find him, and Stop Bart, Nora, and I’m guessing Aidan before they all get themselves killed, he hasn’t been back here in five years *goes in the direction the streaks of lightning with his cold gun in hand*
Morgan: Well Oliver got those calls out fast…*realizes* wait a second did he say five years??
*a new breach opens with Chewbacca, Rey, and Finn walking through it*
Kurt: REALLY FAST
Chewbacca: *lets out a loud Wookie battle cry*
Evelyn: …should we be scared for our lives right now?
Steve: no, but they DEFINITELY should be
*Chewbacca charges into the battle with his bowcaster firing at nazis left and right*
Rey: Morgan, we got the message from Oliver, what happened here?? *igniting her yellow lightsaber*
Morgan: that, is a VERY long story
Finn: *igniting his purple lightsaber* Oooookay then?
*another breach opens up with Ray, Jaime, and Jonah coming through*
Jonah: I already kicked yer asses once, and Ain’t ‘fraid to do it again *charges into the battle firing both of his pistols*
Evelyn: …who the hell was that??
Ray: That, was Jonah hex, hi, nice to meet you *shaking her hand* Ray Palmer, or the Atom
Evelyn: …Evelyn Tveit…was he–
Ray: an actual cowboy? Yes, now if you’ll excuse me I have some friends I need to help *flies into the battle blasting from his suit*
Jaime Reyes/Blue Beetle: *suited up* I’m Jaime Reyes, also known as the Blue Beetle, nice to meet you *uses his suit to turn his arm into an arm cannon which he fires at an incoming nazi*
Morgan: knowing Oliver I think that might be it as far as backup goes–
*as she says that Dominic, Brian, Roman, Tej, Hobbs and Han all come through the breach*
Dominic “Dom” Toretto: guess again morgan *holding a crowbar using the hand of the soldier*
Brian O’Connor: *with his nanite gun* you didn’t think we’d leave you high and dry did you
Morgan: Good to see you all, but where are the Ladies?
Roman Pearce: well he just so happened to interrupt us while we were having guys night, and the ladies were having ladies night *with his heat gun*
Tej: and after he called us he said he thought this would be enough people *with his cold gun*
Han Seoul-Oh: *With the silent cricket* so we came as fast as we could
Hobbs: *with his Blaster Rifle* just had to stop and get our weapons
Jaime: hang on, you guys got to keep your weapons?? I heard those were just Loaners!
Roman: Luci Let us keep them after the battle, but now, YIPPEE KI YAY NAZI MOTHERFUCKERS *firing the heat gun at all the nazis he sees*
Evelyn: something tells me things just got SIGNIFICANTLY better for our side
Steve: Definitely
*meanwhile on another part of the beach with Charlotte, Poe, Ben*
Charlotte: We’re surrounded, and outnumbered and have no idea what the fuck a dalek is…today is not going how I thought it would go
Squad leader: now’s your last chance to surrender!
Random Dalek: OR BE EXTERMINATED
*all of a sudden they hear chewie’s battle cry*
Charlotte: oh you’re all SO screwed, tell me, which arm do you prefer to get ripped off, the right, or the left?
One Random soldier: *lowering his gun* uhhh, Sir, should we fall back?
The Squad leader: when we have them surrounded? Now what kind of sense would that make?
Poe: i’d listen to your man if I were you
Rosie: *sneaks behind the Dalek and cuts it in half with her purple lightsaber*
Ben: Rosie!
Rosie: Hey there Bennyboo! *blocks a blaster bolt* Need a hand?
Charlotte: Hang on how come SHE can call you bennyboo and I can’t?!
Ben: uhhhhh…
Rosie innocently: *shrugs* girlfriend privileges?
*just then Chewbacca runs in taking out Nazis left and right, until there’s only two left, the one who wanted to leave, and the squad leader and the one from before, drops their weapon*
Chewbacca: *glares at the two of them then goes to the squad leader, takes his blaster bends it and then drops it and grabs the Squad leader and picks him up by his arms*
The Squad Leader: UNHAND ME YOU BEAST
Charlotte innocently: bad choice of words
*chewbacca then pulls his arms slowly ripping them off as the squad leader screams in agony as his body then drops to the ground*
Rosie: and this is why we don’t piss off a wookie
Chewbacca: *glares at the soldier who wanted to leave*
*the soldier goes as pale as a ghost*
Chewbacca: LEAVE *while pointing in the direction away from the beach*
*Poe, Charlotte, and Ben all blink in shock just then finn and rey run over*
Finn: Hey guys–WHOA, what happened–*sees chewie and realizes* nevermind
Charlotte slowly: …Chewie? Why’d you let that guy leave?
Chewbacca casually: He didn’t want to do this, He is good.
Finn: …wait a minute did he ever fire on you guys?
Poe Slowly: actually I think he was the only one who didn’t
Finn excited: Oh FUCK yeah there’s a me!
Ben slowly: I don’t think this guy was your doppelganger, because this guy looked NOTHING like you
Rey knowing what he means: Ohhhh in the sense that he wants out of the nazis
Finn: Yep!
Charlotte: Well shit…but hang on a Chewie, how did YOU know that?!
Chewbacca: I don’t know, gut feeling?
Poe dryly half joking: I hate the gut feelings of this family
Charlotte slowly: …you knew that…based on a gut feeling?
Chewbacca: …I think so?
Ben: moving on guys, we don’t have much time to talk, we got a fight to win
Rosie: He's right, let’s do this…
*With Thawne, Aidan, Bart and Nora*
*thawne seemingly splits himself into three and throws a red lightning bolt at all three of them then goes back to one as the three are now on the ground*
Aidan: *getting back up* how the hell did he do that??
Bart: I don’t know, even for a speedster it should be impossible to be in two places at once *getting back up weakly*
Thawne: it’s called a speed mirage, and you don’t know about it because you’re not fast enough, little runners, now it’s time to finish what I started, and END the Allen Family tree, FOR GOOD *his whole body starts vibrating*
Snart: *fires the cold gun at him stopping him from vibrating* NOT ON MY WATCH
Bart and Nora: Uncle Lenny?!
Snart: Hey there kids
Thawne: Leonard Snart… it’s been a while for us hasn’t it?
Snart darkly: now listen up, and listen good Thawne, you’ve already Taken enough from this family, and I’ll be damned if I let you do to these two what you did to Their family, an MY Sister, now I’m gonna let you go, but if you EVER come near these two again, know there won't be a place in the multiverse you’ll be safe
Thawne: like you could stop me if I wanted to end all of your lives *just then his suit comms go off* what’s going on Toyman…I see…fine…you’re lucky I have to go anyway, otherwise, I’d end you, right here and now for even thinking about trying to threaten me *speeds off*
Nora: …Uncle Lenny, what did you mean, by you wouldn’t let him do to us what he did to our family or your sister? You don’t have a sister…
Snart: …I’m sorry, but me, and Lucifer, haven’t been completely honest with you, but only because your father said we were only allowed to tell you about this if he ever returned…
Bart sharply: Tell us what?
Aidan awkwardly: this seems like a family moment so I’m just going to…*speeds off*
Snart; that man, he has a history with your father, a history I don’t know even the full version of, in the future he was from, your dad showed him up, it was something completely menial, which led to him gaining a hatred for him, so he went back in time, and is the reason your grandparents are dead
Nora: I’m sorry, I thought EDDIE Thawne Killed Papa Joe and Grammy Cecile, not EOBARD Thawne, and Grandma Francine died of cancer before we even got here
Snart: and that’d be right, and I’m not talking about Joe and Cecile, or Francine…I’m talking about your father’s parents, Henry and Nora Allen
Bart: …are you telling us that HE killed Grandpa Henry and Grandma Nora?
Snart; that’s right, and while Barry watched, at only ten years old, and after he became the Flash, he’d disappear and come back every couple few years to fight your father, and your father would almost always win…so he decided to hit him where it hurts…five years ago, during a nazi raid, he found Iris, your mom, and…He killed her… and then he fought Barry…and he killed him too…and as for my baby sister, her name was Lisa Snart, about a few years before you arrived, my sister had come up with her own resistance persona, and even had her own gun, it encased things in solid gold, she was known as the Golden Glider, and unfortunately, to Thawne…she was collateral damage in order to get to find Barry…
Nora: no…you and Lucifer told us Vader, HE killed our parents, not THAWNE
Snart: that’s what Barry told us to say, we were the only witnesses, and he had worn thawne down so much we thought he’d never be back, so he asked that we never speak of him again, in hopes that he’d just fade into history, but he’s back now, and you need to know the truth, and you two need to be ready
Bart: …that’s definitely a lot to take in, but for now, we’ve got business to take care of, let’s do this
*meanwhile with Toyman and Iris*
Toyman: *Rolls out a yo-yo*
Iris dryly: your plan is to fight me with a yo-yo? Jokes on you, I love yo-yos!
Toyman: *does a trick that flings the yo-yo at her as blades come out of it*
Lucifer: *catches it and breaks it in his hand, while holding a sword in his other* If you’ll allow me to handle Toyman, Iris, he and I have a personal history
Iris: did he just try to use a Yo-yo with KNIVES at me?!
Lucifer: he did, which is part of why I’m asking to cut in, I’m sort of used to this type of thing from him
Iris: …fine…*goes to fight some more Nazis*
Lucifer: Toyman, it’s been a while…
Toyman: yes it has, it’s been a while since you STOLE MY SON FROM ME
Lucifer; I didn’t STEAL your son, Winn willingly joined the resistance when he was of age, because he believes in doing what he can to fight for what’s right, and he knows that you are and always have been a psychopath on the wrong side of history
Toyman: maybe I am, maybe I’m not, but you won’t be around to see it, because thanks to your twin brother Michael, I now have the upgraded weapons to take you down *three flying monkeys fly over and start firing at lucifer with one hitting him in the arm with a celestial bullet*
Lucifer: Ah, BLOODY HELL
*the doctor runs in and uses his sonic screwdriver to disable the monkeys*
Lucifer: ah…*he starts to heal because the bullet went all the way through* nice work Doctor, just like the old days
Kurt: *appears in a puff of black smoke* Doctor! Lucifer *tosses them each a rapier sword* I figured you could both use a weapon
Doctor: why thank you Kurt, and it happens to be one of the few weapons I approve of *puts his sonic screwdriver away*
Kurt; *slashing at another nazi who tries to attack him* good luck to the both of you *disappears in a puff of black smoke*
Doctor; now it’s REALLY like the old days
Toyman: it doesn’t matter, I don’t need flying monkeys to fight the two of you *pulls out two yo-yos then starts flinging them both as celestial steel blade comes out of it
*Lucifer and the Doctor block them both*
*they three begin to clash yo-yos with blades*
Lucifer: *while fighting he hears the war cry of chewie, and while later looks around looks around and sees Iron Maiden, Wasp, Atom, Blue Beetle, and Firestorm all in the sky while using his sword to block the yo-yos of Death* You know toyman, it looks like our cavalry had arrived, and I know for a fact that Brainiac doesn’t like it when more and more men are disposed of, if I were you, I’d fall back now, before you lose so many…he decides to dispose of you
*toyman then pales for a moment*
Doctor: oh, and before you do run away, like the coward you are, I have a message for you to deliver *pulls out and throws him a tape recorder*
Toyman: *catches it*
Doctor: tell Davros, that the Doctor is back, and Earth is under my protection, so he needs to Leave, or he’ll face the wrath of THE DOCTOR *pulls out his sonic screwdriver and activates it it starts making a loud humming sound*
Toyman: *reluctantly activates his com earpiece* Thawne, we need to go…too many are falling, we need to regroup…You may have won today’s battle, but you’re never going to win the War Lucifer, Doctor, the day will come where you both fall
Doctor innocently: we’ll be waiting for that day you think “we’ll both fall” sitting down with a glass of scotch in his hand and a cup of tea in mine, and a plate of biscuits
Toyman: I swear, I’ll find you again, if it’s the last thing I do, and make sure you BOTH go DOWN *all of a sudden he’s rushed off in a flash of red lightning and all the living and well Nazi soldiers are rushed away from the battle and all that remain, are some of the dead bodies*
Kurt: *sighing in sight of the dead bodies* May God have mercy on all of their souls…
*everyone left there all gathers together*
Lucifer: …Doctor, back there you told Toyman to get that tape recorder to Davros…who’s Davros…
Doctor: …I’ve been putting this off for far too long it seems, when we get back, I think it’s time I told you the story, of why I left Gallifrey
Evelyn: yeah, I’m still curious what the fuck those weird death machines were so if that’s going to answer that, you better tell me too
Doctor: they’re called Daleks, and they’re not machines…well not entirely…it’s a long story, if everyone heading back to the Resistance Base would follow me to the Tardis, it’s the quickest way back
Lucifer: right, before that, I’d like to thank everyone for coming today, those who came to have fun at the beach, and to those who came as our back-up, we all very much appreciated it, thank you so much
Remy: *opens a breach* mais, I don’t know about you all, but today has been a day, Frosty, you coming back to my place or are you heading back to yours?
Frost: I think yours for today
Remy: sounds good to me, Anyone else heading back to their universes right now can come through the breach here to the bar
Morgan: Evelyn, Aaron I’ll be back, I’m just going to go get hudson real quick, and we’ll meet you back at the base
Dom: before we go, Iris, Oliver told us to tell you that your kids are with Aidan’s parents
Iris: that was a good call
*most of the non-earth-x-er’s leave except for Ben, Charlotte, Poe, Iris, Victoire, Rosie, Teddy, Steve*
Evelyn: Lucifer…I need to talk to you about moving my therapy session…
Lucifer; Evelyn, we’ve been over this, therapy only works if you let it work Evelyn
Evelyn: I MEAN–*takes a breath* I need to make it sooner….
Lucifer: oh…I see…well I suppose I could move some things around, and we could try to get you in tomorrow, how does that sound?
Evelyn: thank you, Lucifer
Steve: Well, this has been an interesting beach day, definitely on my top three list of most chaotic ones, now I have to go so… *pulls out the from pies from behind his back* …Aaron, here are your pies
Aaron: *takes the cherry one* Evelyn do you think you could–
Evelyn: I’m on it *takes the pecan pie* …you know Jon for YEARS tried to get me to try pecan pie, and I’d never try it because, I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again YOU DON’T PUT FRUIT IN PIE…but he’d always respond with, “but it’s not a fruit”
Aaron: which is true
Evelyn: I know, but I’d still always say “it’s close enough!” …maybe it’s time I finally try this…
Aaron: …wait does that mean I have to share my condolence pie?
Evelyn: *laughs* if I like it, probably
Steve: well with that I should probably go, it was great meeting you all
Aaron: Thank you…Steve, for everything
Victoire: *looking through her specphone* oh WOW, We missed a lot…
Rosie: What's going on?
Victoire: …LOUIS IS GOING TO BE A DAD?!?!
Rosie, Teddy, Iris, Aidan all in shock: WHAT?!
*they all rush to get their phones*
Teddy: Emma’s Pregnant?!
Victoire: not exactly…
Teddy: LOUIS CHEATED?!?!
Steve: On second thought, maybe I need to stay…
Iris: *getting her phone and looking through it* no he didn’t but apparently SHE did…
Aidan: oh shit…
Rosie: He knocked up Chloe Diggory?!?! Damnnnn… I didn’t know Louis had it in him
Teddy: okay, so who wants to catch them up on what we’ve been up to
Iris: I’ll do it!
Iris (in the Weasley cousin group chat) (Queen of chaos)
Okay, so we just saw all of this because this all happened while there was a Nazi attack at the beach, don’t worry everyone’s fine
Aidan (Loverboy)
Yeah, I ended up taking a beating from The Reverse-Flash but other than that we’re good here
Louis (Squirt)
WTF I THOUGHT IRIS SAID HE WAS DEAD
Loverboy
The earth-prime version is, Earth-X’s version is alive and well, he kicked mine, Nora, and Bart’s asses
Ali (Alibear 😈🤪✨)
He was able to take all three of you?!
Loverboy
Yeah…
Queen of Chaos
…In other news…you all know Ben right?
Freddie (‘Merica Boy)
Ben Solo? Yeah? What about him
Queen of Chaos
Apparently he and Rosie are dating now!!
Rose Granger Weasley (🌹📚)
ROSIE’S DATING BEN SOLO?!?!
Rosie (Uncle Har’s Paperwork bitch)
Actually it’s Ben SKYWALKER now 😊
Leo (Partner in crime)
DAAAAMNNNNNNNNNN
also, unrelated but I have to ask because I’m curious…was Caitlin there?
Queen of Chaos
No, you didn’t miss her Leo, According to Cisco, she was visiting her mum today
Partner in Crime
👍🏻
Teddy (Tedtoire)
Semi-unrelated But Louis, guess who we got to meet today on Earth-X?
Squirt
Idk, who?
Tedtoire
The Doctor
Squirt
The Doctor? Doctor Who?
WAIT A SECOND
You don’t mean THE Doctor DO YOU?!
Tedtoire
The one and only…in this universe anyway, we saw the T.A.R.D.I.S. too
Squirt
Which Incarnation of Doctor was it??
Tedtoire
Matt Smith
Squirt
YOU MET THE ELEVENTH DOCTOR?!?!
Tedtoire
Yep!
Squirt
You lucky SOB…I swear next time I’m on Earth-X with one of you guys, someone better introduce me to him, or someone will die
Dominique (Dom)
Oh calm Down Lou, you’re acting like you just missed the chance to meet the king of england 🙄
Tedtoire
NOPE, YOU CAN’T DO THAT DOM, YOU AND VIC HAVE MUSICALS, I HAVE DOCTOR WHO, YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WHAT THAT IS TO ME
James Sirius (Jamie)
So…who’s adding in Ben to the gc?
Queen of Chaos
I’ll do it! I’m also adding Charlotte, because sister of an SO of a weasley cousin, and Caitlin because I just realized she’s not on here
Partner in Crime
Noooooooooooooo
*Charlotte Dameron, Ben Skywalker, and Caitlin Snow-Prime have been added to the group chat*
*Caitlin Snow has been Nicknamed the Doctor*
*Leo Weasley has been re-nicknamed the patient*
Caitlin (The Doctor)
I don’t want to be rude, but why have I just been added to this group chat labeled “The Weasley Cousins” …also Why have I been nicknamed “The Doctor”??
The Patient
I’m sorry, but I saved you as long as I could Caitlin…AND WHO RENAMED ME THE PATIENT?!?!
Lily Luna (The Redheaded gremlin)
I don’t knowwwww 😇 (This is Lily Luna, just so you know Caitlin)
Albus (Blackmailer)
Welcome to the Weasley Cousin GC! You’ve been added because you’re dating Leo, who is a weasley cousin (this is Albus btw)
The Doctor
Oh… well thank you for including me in this!
The Patient
Trust me, after long, you won’t be thanking them (in case you didn’t already guess, this is Leo)
Queen of Chaos
This is Iris
Squirt
Louis
Tedtoire
Teddy
Hugo Granger-Weasley (Hugh)
We haven’t met yet, but I’m Hugo
Daisy Dursley (Voice of Reason)
Also haven’t met, I’m Daisy Dursley
Scorpius (The blonde one to rule them all)
Scorpius here!
Roxanne Weasley (Roxie Dahhhling)
Roxanne Weasley, nice to meet you!
Molly Weasley II (Red)
I’m Molly!
Lucy Weasley(The snooper)
Lucy
Victoire (the languager)
Victoire
Dom
I’m pretty sure you can figure this one out
Gwenniepoo
I wish it were different but you could probably figure mine out
Jamie
Same here…
Loverboy
Aidan here
🌹📚
Rose Granger-Weasley, nice to meet you
Uncle Har’s Paperwork Bitch
Rosie
‘Merica Boy
Freddie
Alibear 😈🤪✨
Aaaaaaand Mine should also be obvi
The Doctor
Well thanks again for including me in your group chat!
Dominique
Now back to the real problem at hand…
getting back at that bitch who cheated on Louis
*back outside of the groupchat*
Charlotte: *looking at her SpecPhone* Why is my phone going crazy??
Ben: Mine is too!
Iris: that’s because, thanks to Ben getting with Rosie, you’ve both been added to the Weasley cousin group chat
Charlotte: YES
Rosie: …Dammit, now is a time I really wish I wasn’t an Auror
Ben: What's wrong?
Iris dryly: we just had to fight Nazis AGAIN, and now we have to go kill a bitch, we really can’t catch a break today, can we vic? A?
Rosie: okay, so right now, I’m dealing with a situation that legally I can’t know about, because I’m an auror, but a plan is being hatched to go get revenge on a cheating bitch who cheated on my younger cousin
Iris innocently: …you know if you want, you could send your new boyfriend in your place, he can’t get caught because he’s from another universe and Adam Driver is in another county
Rosie: ……Would you be willing to pull an overprotective cousin on one of my little cousin’s cheating exes?
Charlotte innocently: if he won’t I will
Ben: *sighs* For you, alright…also who’s adam driver
Iris bluntly: The guy who plays you in those movies we told you about that tell the story of your universe, without charlotte, who looks exactly like you
Ben: …that doesn't make sense but then again nothing has since exegol
Charlotte cheerfully: Honestly can I come? I have experience with this type of thing
Iris: alright, but remember, there’s no force in our universe
Ben and Charlotte in unison: We’ll be fine
Rosie: Just do me a favor Iris and make sure he doesn’t do anything that gets him killed… *quietly to her* and drop him back off at my place when you’re done, I’d tell him to apparate himself but considering he’s a new wizard, and doesn’t know where my house is, that’s probably not the best idea…
Iris cheerfully: mhmmmm, don’t worry, we’ll have a LOT of fun
Victoire: …alright, I just caught up the groupchat, they know about Charlotte and Ben coming
Steve: sorry to interrupt, but I couldn’t help overhear the situation going on back on your earth, now I HAD a prank planned on King George III after this, but after hearing your situation, I’d like to join you guys, because I may not remember who I used to be fully, but I do remember I was Latino, and we Latinos do NOT mess around when it comes to people cheating on family, so if it’s fine with you, I’m coming too
Iris cheerfully: the more the merrier!
Ben: but first, is there a way you could get at least me back in my normal clothes, I’d rather not do this barefoot
Steve: I’ll do you one better *snaps his fingers and suddenly, Victoire, Iris, Aidan, Ben, and Charlotte are all back in their normal clothes* and I can teleport us to the meeting spot whenever you’re ready
Victoire: I’m guessing you’re sitting this out Teddy?
Teddy bluntly: someone’s got to be ready if one of you guys needs bail money
Iris innocently: which is why we love you Ted
Rosie: alright, I’ll take the way through the bar back to my place
Teddy: and Vic, I’ll hopefully see you back at the house
Charlotte: Poe, I’ll see you back at our place *kisses him*
Poe: …you sure this is a good idea?
Charlotte: don’t worry Poe, I promise you, I’ll be fine
Poe: well yes, that but…how do I put this lightly…You…Iris…The rest of her cousins…STEVE…It sounds like it’s going to be–
Aidan: Chaotic? That’s why I go, to try to put out the fires
Poe: alright…
Charlotte; don’t worry poe, everything will *under her breath* probably *outloud* be fine!
Poe: fine…
Charlotte: I’ll see you when I get home *kisses him on the cheek and flirtingly whispers* and don’t change out of those shorts until I get back
Poe: *smirks lightly and whispers back* deal
Steve: Alright, is everyone who’s going ready?
Iris: yep, Lucifer, thanks again for the invite! We had fun!
Victoire: yep! And someone let me know when the next theater night is, Please?
Lucifer: of course, and I’ll make sure to let you know Victoire
Victoire: thanks!
Steve : Alright, here we go! See ya Everybody! *Victoire, Ben, Iris, Aidan, Charlotte, and Steve all disappear into purple particles*
*a couple of blocks away from the Ex’s house*
*Steve, Ben, Iris, Aidan, Charlotte, and Victoire all appear*
Steve: And we’re here!
Ben: …that was way easier than going through the bar…
Steve: I know, right? But the other’s should be getting here soon
*Molly II and Lucy both apparate in, and Dominique runs in from around the corner with Roxanne and Ali with all three of them having a backpack on them*
*James Sirius, Lily Luna and Hugo all apparate in with*
*finally Gwen and Rose apparate in*
Dominique: alright, Daisy’s with Louis talking with him about…EVERYTHING that’s going on, while the rest of us are here–Who the fuck is he?? *pointing at Steve*
Iris: …you remember that guy Steve I told you showed up at the universe leader meeting and caused multiple musical numbers?
James Sirius: This is him?!?!
Iris; yep! Guys, meet Steve the Anti-Spectre
Steve: *lowering his hood* Mucho Gusto
*blank stares from most of the weasley cousins*
Most of the Weasley Cousins: Viiiiiiiiiic?
Victoire dryly: Nice to meet you, c’mon guys, that’s basic spanish…merlin, I wish Louis was here…
Steve: before you ask, if I speak english, yes, I do, and to answer the question, why I’m here, same reason you’re here, to get payback on a cheating bitch
All of the Weasley Cousins: YES
Roxanne: Hang on…IS THAT–
Iris: yep, here we also have formerly Ben Solo, now Ben Skywalker, and Charlotte Dameron, Ben’s twin. Rosie sent Ben in her place, and Charlotte tagged along just because, alright now what’s our plan?
Victoire: I’m thinking half of us take the front door, the other half take the back, we’ll flank her, trap her in the house
Iris: Works for me, Dom, Roxie, Ali, you three brought–
Ali: timer dungbombs on dom’s back, Roxie’s got whizbangs, and I have enough muggle fireworks to light up her house like a bloody christmas tree
Iris: YES
Charlotte: You guys really go all out on these revenge schemes don't you?
Lily Luna: no one cheats on a Weasley cousin and gets away with it, now who’s going with which team?
Victoire: well no matter what, me and Dom need to be on opposite sides, so either way she goes she’ll be seeing one of us, I can take front door, Dom you take back,
Molly Weasley II: I’ll take the front
Lucy Weasley: I’ll take back then
Iris: I got front
Charlotte: Front
Ben: I better take front too then
Ali: I got back
Lily Luna: same here
James Sirius: I’ll go back too
Roxanne: I’ll go front
Gwen: I’ll take back
Aidan: I’ll go front
Steve: I’ll take the back I guess
Hugo: Back!
Rose Granger-Weasley; Front
Iris: and that covers everyone, let’s do this
*they all arrive at the house with Victoire, Molly, Iris, Aidan, Charlotte, Ben, Roxanne, and Rose all coming to the front door and the others sneaking around the back*
Victoire: *knocks on the door*
Emma (The EX) confused: *opens the door* Victoire? What’re you doing here–with your cousins…AND ADAM DRIVER?!?!
Victoire with the look of innocence: I found out you Cheated on my little brother
Emma: *realizes* …shit… *slams the door and rushes to the other side of the house and tries to leave out the back*
Charlotte: …can I cut the door down?
Iris: Go for it!
Ben: Maybe we shouldn’t–
Charlotte: *already with her lightsaber ignited and cutting the door* Too late!
*meanwhile on the other side of the house*
Emma: *opens the back door*
Dominique already waiting there with the other half of the Weasley cousins and Steve: hey there, we need to have a little chat…
Emma: *slams and locks the door*
Dominique: Alright, how’re we dealing with the door? We have a lot of ways, which one are we picking?
Steve: allow me *sticks out his right hand and the door starts to gain purple glowing cracks as he then makes a fist and the door crumbles to dust*
Hugo: …holy fucking shit…he’s good…I like you…
Lily Luna: yeah…he definitely is…
Steve: after you all *gestures into the house*
Hugo under his breath: …I need to remember to ask Iris if he’s single…
Steve: *using his powers so Hugo can hear his thoughts in his head* I’m flattered, but sorry to tell you I’m not exactly looking for someone right now, and even if I was, I don’t swing that way…sorry…I hope you do eventually find the man or woman you’re looking for…but if you want, we can still be friends!
Hugo: *eyes widening as he and Steve are the last ones still outside* How did you–
Steve: didn’t Iris tell you? I can do pretty much anything imaginable as long as it doesn’t go against my very limited power restrictions, but what do you say? Friends? *offers a fist bump*
Hugo: …yeah, friends works for me *fist bumps him*
Steve: now after you, because we’ve got work to do
*both hugo and Steve head in*
*inside the house*
Emma: *with a wand in one hand and a gun in the other surrounded by weasley cousins* You all back the HELL away from me, I’m a muggleborn, and I used to live in AMERICA, So you better BELIEVE I KNOW HOW TO USE A GUN
Steve: You see the thing about that is, I’ve never been a bit fan of guns, *steps out of the crowd* but by all means, try to shoot me pendeja
Emma: I will IF YOU TAKE ONE STEP CLOSER
Steve: *cockily dances his way closer*
Emma: *Fires the gun but only water comes out of it* …what the hell??
Steve: That’s right, I turned your gun…INTO A WATER GUN, *makes a finger gun and fires a purple blank in the air* powers of the Anti-Spectre
Emma: the what??
Steve: you wouldn’t get it
Iris: Steve…that was fucking amazing…Alright everyone you know the drill, let’s wreck this place
*the weasley cousins all spread out and start breaking things*
Emma: *fires a nonverbal spellshot at Steve*
Steve innocently: you know it’s cute you thought that would hurt me, but just to be sure you can’t do anything to anyone else, let’s do this *uses his powers so she’s suddenly tied up in a chair*
Dominique: Hey, Steve?
Steve: What's going on?
Dominique: I heard from Iris that you have a sword, is that right? Any chance I could borrow that?
Steve: sure *pulls out the Anti-Sword out of thin-air and hands it to her*
Dominique: So Emma, you thought it was OKAY, to just cheat on my brother, and break his heart, Hm?
Emma dryly; it’s not my fault he didn’t know how to treat a woman right
Dominique: Tr–TREAT A WOMAN RIGHT?!
Victoire: HE TREATED YOU LIKE A QUEEN!!! WHAT MORE COULD YOU HAVE ASKED FROM HIM
Dominique: …do you remember what I said to you when we first met, I said that if you ever hurt him, I would cut you? Well I’m About to follow through on that, COME HERE BITCH *about to attack her
Aidan: NO *speeds over to her stopping her from attacking Emma* Dom, I know you want to get back at her, but that’s not the way, that’ll get you a life sentence in azkaban
Emma: Thank You! You better keep that LESBO SKANK, AWAY FROM ME
*the room goes silent as everyone freezes*
Dominique darkly: Fuck. You. YOU PIECE OF SHIT
Hugo: …I know she did NOT just go there
Victoire: For the sake of me not going to bloody jail I hope she didn’t
Hugo: if anyone’s going to jail for what she just said it’s me
Emma: of course YOU’RE going to defend her, Birds of a feather and all, right, you fag?
*another cold silence*
Rose: You. Bloody. ARSEHOLE. *About to attack her*
Hugo: *holding her back* It's fine Rose…
Rose: Wait WHAT?!
Hugo sharply: because, and this part I’m saying to her, first of all, the term “Faggot” applies to a Gay man, not a bisexual man, and I’m the latter, so if you’re going to slur get it right bitch, and second of all…if we hurt her too much we all get guaranteed life sentences…so we’re just going to wreck this place as much as we can
Dominique: *finally calming down somewhat* …shit…he’s right…
*victoire and rose both storm over to her and slap her hard in the face*
Dominique and Hugo: VIC!!/ROSE!!
Victoire and Rosie innocently: yes?
Rose: honestly you can’t say you DIDN’T see us still doing that
Dominique and Hugo: …yeah…
Victoire: Okay, great, now back to breaking shit, but first *casts a spell to knock her out* let’s leave how fucked up this place is going to be as a surprise
Dominique: *uses the Anti-Sword to to break some things until out of nowhere she sees Oliver, she then drop the anti-sword* …Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck
Iris: What’s wrong D–*looks in her direction and see Oliver in his Spectre Robes, arms crossed, with his eyes looking like they have green storms in them* …oh shit…
*everyone looks over and pales at the sight of Oliver*
Oliver in his Spectre voice: *opens a breach* Bar. Now. ALL OF YOU.
Steve: does that include–
Oliver in his spectre voice: Steve, I will blast you right now, full power, if you even SAY another word…Now GO. NOW.
Iris: …and if we don’t?
*they all suddenly hear a loud boom as Oliver just darkly glares at Iris*
Iris sheepishly: go now, got it
*all of the weasley cousins, Ben, Charlotte, and Steve all sheepishly go through the breach*
Oliver: *cracks his knuckles* I have a bit of work to do *uses his powers to reverse all the damages caused and remove the timed fireworks, whizbangs, and dungbombs, then goes to the tied up unconscious Emma, unties her, picks her up, takes her to her bedroom then lies her down in her bed* don’t worry, you won’t remember any of this tomorrow *touches her forehead and suddenly green spectral particles surround her head then go up into the air and disappear as he then snaps his fingers and more spectral particles are emitted then disappear* and that takes care of the neighbors memories, and the memories of the 999 hotline operators, and the police *disappears in a flash of green light*
*at the multiversal bar*
*all of the weasley cousins, Charlotte, Ben and Steve are all sitting at a table together*
Rose: Alright, so on a scale of one to ten how bad do you think this is going to be?
Iris: considering he actually was able to SHOW UP IN OUR UNIVERSE…fifteen
Ben: …I told you that we shouldn’t have cut her door down!
Oliver now there suddenly: …cut the door down? That’s the least of your problems, YOU TRASHED. HER HOUSE!! IRIS HAD FIREWORKS SET UP INSIDE THE HOUSE FOR AFTER YOU LEFT FOR GOD'S SAKE!!
Charlotte slowly: …we’re sorry?
Victoire: you’re all knowing, right? So you know what she did?
Oliver: I do, and what she did was terrible, and this is speaking as someone who’s DONE what she’s done, the cheating I mean, not the prejudism, and I know it’s unforgivable, but it did NOT warrant this much destruction
James Sirius; hang on…I thought you could only appear in a universe when the multiverse is in danger?
Oliver: That’s because it WAS, Thanks to you all You nearly exposed the multiverse to the rest of your Earth!
Lily Luna: how??
Oliver: the amount of chaos you caused in her house was SO loud and destructive, her neighbors called the police on you, and you see, since you brought ben, if he had been caught, people would’ve been suspicious on how Adam Driver could be in two places at once, and start to figure things out, and another thing, this one’s directed at Ali
Ali: Me??
Oliver; yes YOU…you see YOU dropped your extrapolator, which you know that dangerous dark wizard Freddie, Leo, Albus, and Scorpius have been hunting?
Iris: yeah? What about him?
Oliver: well he got his hands on it and opened a breach
Ali: …shit…
Oliver: but don’t worry, I wiped his memories of the whole incident, oh, and also had to wipe the memories of four police officers, three neighboring families, and a 999 operator…for god's sake this is the second time i’ve had to wipe memories thanks to your family
Iris: Second? When was the first?!
Oliver: ask your twin and your uncle Harry…honestly I can’t BELIEVE you all did this…Aidan, I pity you, because I know out of everyone here, you’re the most sane and did the least amount of destruction
Everyone there: HEY
Oliver: …alright, I’m going to let all of you off with a warning THIS TIME…But if you EVER pull a stunt like this again, I will cut ALL of your access to the multiverse, no SpecPhones, no Extrapolators, NOTHING. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME
Everyone there but Steve sheepishly: …yes…
Oliver; good…*opens a breach* this will send all of you back to your respective homes, you can all leave now…
Steve; does that go for me too compadre? because if you recall, I don’t really have a “home” per say–
Oliver: STEVE–*takes a breath* …just. GO.
Steve; right…I have no idea how the hell this started as a fun beach day, which turned into a nazi attack which turned into this…well it’s been nice seeing you again Iris and meeting the rest of you, I’ll see you all later, I have to go prank king George II *disappears into purple anti-spectral particles as those disappear too*
Oliver: …NOW the rest of you can leave…
Iris: hang on a moment, we need another breach
Oliver: For what?
Iris: for ben
Ben: For me?
Iris: yeah, Rosie told me to get you to her place after we were done but then we got sent here so…
Ben: …Oh…
Oliver: well okay then, that can be easily arranged *opens another breach* done
*everyone leaves*
Oliver: *takes a sip of beer* One day at a time, Oliver…one day at a time…
Notes:
That's right, Louis Weasley is going to be a baby daddy, and the Doctor's rejoined the resistance with many others! Next chapter we have "Meet the Tveits (II): Spectral Encounters" but until then, this has been a padjake written story, now, Mischief Managed.
Chapter 8: Meet the Tveits (II): Spectral meetings
Notes:
It's finally time for Oliver to meet Evelyn Tveit, also it's been about half a week since the beach chapter, and as always, credits for OCs go to my friend on wattpad @wifeofenjolras, now on with the chapter!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
*Earth-X, Lucifer’s therapy office*
Lucifer Morningstar (X): Are you sure you don’t want to bring Aaron along for this?
Evelyn Tveit/Agent Diamond (X): *holding a notepad in her hand* I’m sure, I love him and I know he can handle a lot of things, but he’s still recovering from our fight and emergency therapy session two days ago. He and I are good now thank to your session, and he’s doing better, so thanks for that. But we both agreed, going to another place that is somehow between universes would cause a whole new level of stress he does NOT need right now. Besides we already talked about this, about me going, and I told him I’d fill him in when we get back about the answers to my questions, and his, so don’t worry, we’ll be fine
Lucifer: right…well then Evelyn, are you ready?
Evelyn: yes, I just have one question…why are we doing this in your office?
Lucifer: Well before you came in, I needed to finish up some paperwork, so this was just what was convenient but now that I’m done…*opens a breach* after you Evelyn
Evelyn: why thank you Luci *walks through the breach*
*The Multiversal Bar with Oliver, Barry, Kara, Sara*
Sara Lance/White Canary (Prime): I’m telling you, terminator 2 judgment day is the GREATEST movie of all time, I stand by that fact
Barry Allen/The Flash (Prime): Don’t get me wrong it’s a great movie, but Greatest of all time? That’s got to go to Either Empire Strikes Back, Jurassic Park, or Singin’ in the Rain
Sara: SINGIN IN THE RAIN?!?! Don’t get me wrong it’s good but definitely NOT the greatest of all time
Kara Danvers/Kara Zor-El/Supergirl: I don’t know, Barry made a point there with that one…But I got to say it’s Wizard of Oz, Oliver what do you say?
Oliver Queen/Green Arrow/The Spectre; Die Hard.
Sara; Okay, that is a SOLID choice Ollie, also Barry, if you and Kara like singin’ in the rain, you two really should talk to Ray more because he LOVES musicals
Kara; I guess that makes three of us then
Sara: So what're we watching for movie night, Ollie?
Oliver: It's Barry’s pick for movie night, remember?
Barry: yep, and for movie night, I’m picking…Jurassic Park
Kara: YES
Sara: Alright, let’s do this! Ollie you got the drinks and popcorn?
Kara: that’ll be–
Oliver: *uses his powers to get them all bowls of popcorn and have a projector screen set up and a tray of drinks is set on the table and dim the lights* Red wine for Kara, Cherry Scotch Sipper for Sara, Lemonade for Barry, and a Dubonnet and Gin for me
Kara: thanks Oliver! *takes her wine glass* now let’s get this movie started
Sara: Hey Oliver, before we do, there’s something me and Kara wanted to ask you about…
Oliver: What’s that?
Sara: we were hoping…that you’d make us guardians
Oliver: *chokes on his drink* What??
Kara: we’re doing this now, okay I thought we were doing this later, that's fine, you heard her
Oliver. We want you to make us guardians
Oliver: No, Absolutely not
Sara: Oliver, you know we’d be DAMN good guardians
Barry: Sara makes a good point
Oliver: you have no idea how hard it was even bringing you into this at all
Sara: YOU DIDN’T!! I found out about the multiverse still existing after Barry got launched back in time as well as a couple other of your guardians and I had to go back with the waverider and save their asses!!
Oliver; If I had had my way Barry wouldn’t have even been a part of this, no one would, besides me
Barry: well if that had happened the Anti-Monitor would’ve stayed back, Thawne would still be alive, and Earth-X would still be ruled by Vader, that is assuming the Anti-Monitor didn’t destroy the multiverse AGAIN, so I think things have improved because of it
Kara: c’mon Oliver! Me and Sara are superheroes too, remember?
Oliver: I know that it’s just…you two…if it were anyone else other than one of you three it’d be easier, but because it is, you know I don’t want to put you in more danger than you already are
Kara: we can handle it Oliver, we handled the Anti-Monitor, me, you, Barry, Sara, J’onn, and the others
Barry: plus, odds are if what I heard from Cisco is true, we might need Kara’s help especially if Toyman is involved in the next crisis, if there is another one, considering she has experience fighting him
Kara: Toyman?? As in Winn’s Dad toyman or as in Winn toyman?
Barry: his dad
Kara: There’s a Toyman on earth-X??
Barry: yep, and There’s a Brainiac, and I don’t mean Brainy. I mean Brainiac
Kara: okay, I do have a bit of Coluan knowledge thanks to Brainy, so I could be able to help to an extent
Oliver: …I’ll think about it…
*just then a breach opens*
Oliver: *realizes* …shit…
Sara: what is it
Oliver: alright, movie night’s postponed *snaps his finger and the projector screen is gone, the lights are back to normal and the drinks are gone and he’s in his spectre robes, with the hood up*
Sara: Is everything alright?
Barry: What's going on Oliver?
Oliver; everything’s fine, it’s just, I have a meeting today, and you know how I am about first impressions, the person I’m meeting cannot see me like this, because considering who they are, they’d never take me seriously if they saw me like this
Barry: I’m sorry, you have a meeting? Since when do you have meetings?!
Sara: Yeah, who are you and what have you done with Oliver Queen? Because you’re not the Mayor of Star City anymore, and you’re not the CEO of Queen Consolidated, you’re the freaking spectre, so how the hell would someone even Schedule a meeting with you??
Oliver: Lucifer scheduled it for the person I’m meeting
Barry: So they're resistance?
Kara: Lucifer as in the one who was supposedly the devil?
Oliver: yes, and yes
Barry: okay, so who is this meeting with?
Oliver: her name is Evelyn Tveit
Sara: …I don’t suppose this is you moving on from–
Oliver: What? No! Of course not, Felicity is and will always be the only one for me, even if I can’t see her, and even if she wasn’t, which she’s not, Evelyn’s married
Sara: hey, I was just curious, just looking out for you like we always have for eachother
Kara: wait a second…when you say Evelyn Tveit…any chance there’s a relation to Aaron Tveit?
Oliver: she’s his wife
Barry: you know now that I think about it I did actually meet Aaron Tveit when I got pulled to the base by Steve
Kara: YOU DID?!
Oliver: alright, we’re running out of time, *opens a breach* I need you three to go
Sara: you’re kicking us out?!
Oliver: It’s just for now until the meeting is done
Sara: …yeah, you’re not getting me out of here until I get my scotch back
Oliver; we don’t have time for–we’re too late *closes the other breach and sits down in a chair at the table Kara, Sara, and Barry are all at facing the breach* Not one. Word. About movie night.
*Lucifer and Evelyn walk through the breach*
Lucifer: welcome Evelyn, to the Multiversal Bar
Evelyn: whoa, that felt weird
Lucifer: you get used to it after enough times
Oliver: hello Lucifer, good to see you again, Evelyn, it’s nice to meet you, I’ve been expecting you, my name’s Oliver Queen, also known as the Spectre
Evelyn: …so you’re Oliver…The Spectre…the guy who according to Lucifer is the most powerful man in the multiverse…Evelyn Tveit, Charmed
Oliver: that’s correct, please, have a seat, the both of you
*the both of them sit down at the table with Oliver, Barry, Kara, and Sara*
Lucifer: hello Barry, Kara, Sara, good to see you all again
Evelyn: wait hang on…Barry…as in Barry Allen, Bart and Nora’s dad
Barry: that’s right, only I’m from earth-prime, it’s nice to meet you Evelyn
Evelyn: and Kara…as in Kara Zor-El? As in Supergirl? I think I’ve actually met your doppelganger a couple times…
Kara: I go by Kara Danvers, but yes, it’s nice to meet you! I’m also from earth-prime by the way
Sara: and I’m Sara Lance, nice to meet you Evelyn
Evelyn: it’s nice to meet all of you…
Oliver: would you two like a drink?
Evelyn: sure…do you have alcohol?
Oliver: this is a bar isn’t it?
Evelyn: touche…
Lucifer: you already know my order
Oliver: So what do you want to drink?
Evelyn casually: Surprise me
Oliver: how strong?
Evelyn: strong as you got
*snaps his fingers and two glasses appear one for lucifer, and the other a glass with a small amount of a golden liquor looking similar to firewhiskey*
Sara dryly: So THEY get their drinks
Oliver: Sara. Not– *grunts tiredly*
*her cherry scotch sipper appears back on the table, as well as kara’s wine and barry’s lemonade, and Oliver’s drink*
Sara: hm, Better
Lucifer; *recognizing the drink Evelyn has* Evelyn I’d be careful with that if I were
Evelyn: *takes the glass and while looking oliver directly in the eye, downs it*
Lucifer; WAIT DON’T
Evelyn: *immediately starts coughing from the strength* Ah FUCK
Lucifer; I tried to warn you…
Sara: Oliver, What the hell did you give her??
Lucifer: Asguardian ale, one of the strongest known liquors in the multiverse, that stuff isn’t normally meant to be drinken by mortals, and when it IS drinken by mortals it should only be sipped
Evelyn: …shit…that definitely would’ve been good to know before…I’ll have another one
Sara: …oh I like her
Eveyln: why thank you *just then the glass fills itself back up* and thank you…
Lucifer: just drink it slower this time, I would prefer one of my best spies NOT die of alcohol poisoning
Evelyn: yeah, I got that Luci
Sara: You’re a spy?
Evelyn: yep, one of the best non-superpowered ones
Sara: nice…
Oliver: Now, Lucifer told me you wanted to meet because you had some questions?
Evelyn: yeah, first one, let’s get the big one out of the way, why the fuck is our Earth the ONLY ONE with Nazis running the world?
*awkward silence*
Oliver: That unfortunately is a question I cannot answer…
Evelyn: what the fuck do you mean you can’t answer it
Oliver: Unfortunately, that’s something I don’t know the answer to…you see in the old multiverse, there was also an earth-X, so when recreating the multiverse after it was destroyed the last time I tried to make it so that there was no earth-X, only it didn’t work, and now your earth-X is even worse than the old one
Evelyn; okay, that gave me so many more questions, how the hell is our Earth WORSE than the “old Earth-X”??
Oliver: …THAT, is a question, that for your own mental sanity, would be better left unanswered
Lucifer: He’s right about that Evelyn, trust me
Evelyn: Fine then, what do you mean OLD Earth-X, also you said you recreated the multiverse after it was destroyed, the multiverse was DESTROYED?!
Oliver: yes, it was, this is something that only those who are guardians know about, that and a few others from Earth-prime and Earth-62406
Lucifer: as well as all of my doppelgangers, and the Doppelgangers of my father, my brothers, you get the gist of it
Oliver; right, but yes, it was destroyed, a little after I died, and became the spectre, after it was destroyed I worked with the seven multiversal paragons to bring back the multiverse, then used my powers to actually do it, by using their key traits as an anchor to breathe life into the new multiverse
Evelyn: Seven Paragons?
Oliver: yes, those being all from earth-prime, Barry Allen as the paragon of Love
Sara: Arguably the most fitting one
Oliver; Kate Kane as the Paragon of Courage, J’onn J’onnzz as the paragon of Honor, Sara Lance as the Paragon of Destiny
Sara: Probably something to do with all of the time travel I’ve done, and the amount of times I’ve died or almost died
Evelyn; Wait What??
Oliver casually moving on: Then There’s Kara Danvers as the Paragon of hope
Sara: the second most fitting one considering she inspired hope to the whole planet in one broadcast
Oliver casually: then there’s Ryan Choi the Paragon of humanity, and Lex Luthor, who admittedly shouldn’t have been one but he wrote himself in as the Paragon of Truth
Evelyn: *chokes on her drink* LEX LUTHOR?! The guy who’s OBVIOUSLY in the pockets of the sixth reich but claims to be “A mAn Of ThE PeOpLe” THAT LEX LUTHOR?!?! THE GUY HAS NO TRUTH TO HIM
Kara dryly: that seems on brand of Lex so I’m gonna go ahead and say yes
Oliver: the original paragon of truth was superman of another earth
Evelyn: wait, what did you mean when you said he wrote himself in as the paragon of truth?
Oliver: that is another long story
Evelyn; okay fine, can we go back to something sara said earlier, YOU’VE DIED?!
Sara: several times
Evelyn: SEVERAL? HOW MANY TIMES IS SEVERAL?!?!
Sara: …technically… Seven times?
Evelyn: …oh god…wait technically? What do you mean Technically
Sara: depending on how you look at it i’ve either died three times or seven times
Evelyn: that makes NO sense
Sara: yeah, I know…Time travel’s a bitch
Evelyn: oooookay then? Next question… *goes to her notepad*
Kara: …random question, are you a journalist by any chance?
Evelyn: nope, the notepad’s just so I could keep track of all the questions me and my husband had about shit, as for why he’s not here, that’s a long story, I’m actually an actress in addition to being a spy, what about you guys, what do you guys do other than the whole superhero thing?
Barry: I’m the Director of Central City Police CSI division
Sara: Since When??
Barry: I guess we haven’t talked about that yet, but yeah, I officially got the promotion last year
Sara: well congrats Barr, as for me superheroing is kind of my full time job, because you see my team and I our job is to protect the timeline of my earth from people who try to change it for the worse, but in addition to that I’m also a mom
Kara: and I’m the Editor-in-chief for Catco on our earth
Lucifer: ah, Cat Grant’s company, she’s a good one, one of the few people who’s actually allies of the resistance, without making it seem like she is
Kara: That definitely sounds like Cat Grant
Evelyn: …we’re allies with Catco?
Lucifer: yes, we are
Evelyn: huh…but what about you, Oliver
Oliver: well as of now, I’m not allowed to enter the multiverse unless it’s in immediate danger
Evelyn dryly; seriously?
Oliver: yes, it’s one of the few restraints of my powers
Evelyn: …you do realize it’s in danger anytime anyone even THINKS about taking it over
Oliver: Yes, I know, and I handle it when it’s a problem
Evelyn: Then why the bloody hell was Michael in charge for so long?
Oliver: …because unfortunately, due to my trying to make sure Earth-X didn’t exist, whenever I try to peer into it to see into your universe, I just see…*snaps his fingers and the tv wall in the bar just goes blank* …that
Evelyn: alright then I guess… but next question…can you actually hurt Lucifer? Because Lucifer was talking about how you’re supposedly powerful enough where you could kill him, but that’s–
Oliver: Impossible? Definitely not Impossible
Evelyn nonchalantly: really? Then prove it
Oliver: that’s really up to Lucifer if it’s okay with him
Lucifer: Yes, it’s fine with me *stands up and takes off his suit jacket* that is if you could hold this for me Evelyn, careful with that now, because as I’ve told you before, that is REAL Italian Leather
Evelyn dryly: I got it Luci *takes the jacket*
Oliver: *walks over to lucifer and offers a handshake*
Lucifer; what’re you shaking my– *shaking his hand*
Oliver: *pulls on it dislocating his arm*
Lucifer: AH BLOODY HELL
Evelyn: …impressive, but how do I know you don’t just have super strength or something ?
Lucifer: right…Oliver, maybe it’s time you tap into your Green Arrow side if you know what I mean
Oliver: are you sure lucifer?
Lucifer: yes, it’s fine, I’ve seen you shoot, you’re a good enough marksmen where you know exactly what will and won’t kill me
Oliver: fine, but first *snaps his finger putting his arm back into place*
Lucifer: right thanks for that
*goes back to the chair he was sitting in and suddenly he’s in his green arrow outfit holding a bow*
Barry: Lucifer, Oliver, are you guys sure this is a good idea?
Lucifer: yes, I’ve been dying to prove this is true to evelyn
Barry dryly; but if he hits the wrong spot you WILL die
Lucifer: I trust Oliver, Barry, don’t worry, I’ll be fine
Kara: Yeah, I’m with Barry, this doesn’t–
Oliver: *quickly draws his bow and fires an arrow at Lucifer hitting him right in the arm*
Lucifer: AH BLOODY FUCKING HELL
Oliver: proof enough for you?
Kara; oh Rao…
Evelyn: *eyes widened nods her head slowly in shock*
Lucifer: …and just like that there goes another good shirt
Oliver: *snaps his fingers and suddenly the arrow disappears and Lucifer’s healed and his shirt is fixed*
Lucifer: Ah, Much better, thanks for that, fixing the shirt I mean
Evelyn dryly: You’re more concerned about the hole in your shirt…THAN THE HOLE IN YOUR ARM?! …You’re crazy, you know that?
Lucifer innocently: No crazier than you are sometimes
Evelyn innocently: …you know that wouldn’t really be the best move saying that considering that I’m holding your suit jacket, and can very easily rip it
Lucifer: you wouldn’t dare.
Evelyn innocently: I think we both know that I would
Lucifer: listen Evelyn, my Suit shipment from my suit guy won’t be ready for another few weeks, and I CANNOT afford to lose any more until then considering the amount I’ve already gone through as of recent since joining the guardians
Evelyn dryly: …you have a suit SHIPMENT coming in? Okay I’m just going to ask…where the hell do you get all of your money from??
Lucifer: I thought Oliver was the one you were supposed to be questioning!!
Evelyn dryly: …fine…but we’re coming back to this *tosses him his jacket*
Lucifer: *catches it and puts it back on*
Evelyn: moving on to my next question…what universe are we in right now?
Oliver: that’s kind of complicated, because you see, we’re not exactly in any singular universe right now
Evelyn dryly: what the fuck does that mean?
Oliver: you see, we’re in a sort of pocket dimension of my own creation that exists between universes, you see I created it a little before the second anti-monitor crisis, the one where we first met lucifer and came to earth-X, before this I was in a place I refer to as the Multiversal afterlife
Evelyn: right…so then that gives me another question, Why a Bar?
Oliver: What do you mean?
Evelyn: I mean…if you could create a pocket dimension to look like anywhere, Why pick some random bar? Admittedly a nicer bar, but still, why not make it look like some remote tropical island or like your house or apartment or something?
Oliver: to somewhat answer your question, I’ve already had enough of remote islands in my old lifetime, but it’s not really important why I chose a bar is it?
Evelyn; but isn’t it?
Oliver: it’s really not
Sara dryly: …so you’re still sticking with the whole tough guy intimidation thing? Really Ollie?
Oliver sharply: Sara.
Evelyn innocently: aaaand suddenly my interest has peaked…Ollie?
Kara: *slowly sipping her wine knowing this isn’t going to end well*
Barry: *doing the same thing with his lemonade, also knowing this won’t end well*
Oliver: *glares at evelyn darkly as they hear a loud boom*
Sara: …I’m not sure why, but I have a feeling I like you
Lucifer: probably because you’re both VERY similar people, Oliver, catch *pulls out and tosses him a flash drive*
Evelyn: What's that?
Lucifer; a flash drive
Evelyn dryly: no shit smartass, I mean, what’s ON the flash drive
Lucifer: oh, you’ll see Oliver, I don’t suppose you can put this up on the TV wall?
*all of a sudden the tvs turn on and they all see Evelyn firing her gun*
Evelyn: It's ME?!
Lucifer: yep, I had Morgan put this together. This my friend, is Evelyn Tveit’s greatest hits.
Sara: *watching the clipshow* …well shit…you’re basically just a younger, brunette, straight, theater kid version of me who uses guns instead of my batons or bo staff…
Evelyn: …how did you get all of this??
Lucifer: Morgan pulled all of this from security camera footage caught from old missions, security camera footage we have in the base, or recordings I have from theater nights, I figured it’d come in handy just in case
Evelyn: …I’ve been meaning to ask, what is it you even do with those theater recordings?
Lucifer: well two things, the first of which being on the occasions where theater night has to get canceled for some strange reason and I’ll run one of the recordings for people to watch of an older performance, and as for the second it’s actually one of the few resistance exports we have
Evelyn; Exports? You mean you sell these recordings??
Lucifer: sell, trade, whatever’s needed
Evelyn: Who would you even sell them to?! The Nazis?!
Lucifer: What?! No! Of course not! We send the theater night recordings to gotham where they’re mass produced and sold to its people, you and Aaron actually have quite a bit of fans there, and in return they give us whatever we need in return
Evelyn: really?!
Lucifer: yes…you do realize all of this is in the waiver you sign when committing to a show right?
Evelyn: …it is?
Lucifer: yes, it is…
Evelyn; …I really need to re-read my contracts
Sara: *watching the clipshow* …so Lucifer’s your Oliver…you know, I can see it *eating some popcorn because Oliver forgot to snap it away*
Lucifer: …where did you get that?
Sara: Oliver made it before you got here
Oliver inside her head using his powers: What’re you doing sara
Sara thinking innocently: you know exactly what I’m doing Ollie
Kara: Who's that you’re firing at in this clip?
Evelyn dully; Natasha Romanoff. Dark Widow. She’s kind of like my spy nemesis if that makes any sense, whenever and I mean WHENEVER, she sees me on a mission she tries to kill me…although I haven’t seen her in a while now…
Lucifer: to be fair, she’s been MIA since the crisis with the anti-monitor
Evelyn: huh…
Sara: …is that your husband?
Evelyn; Yep!
Sara: …huh…not bad…I’m married too by the way, this isn’t me plotting to steal him
Evelyn half-joking: *snorts* I’d hope not, otherwise then we’d have to fight
*the clipshow ends*
Sara: …oh you and I are going to get along GREATLY
Evelyn: Oh really?
Sara: You want proof? Oliver, I want you to do something similar of what was just shown with evelyn for me and put it on the screen, you know, the greatest hits of sara lance
Oliver: *sighs dully* don’t make me regret this sara *snaps his fingers and they see Sara fighting a man in a trench coat who appears to have some sort of magic*
Lucifer: …why does that fellow look familiar
Sara: his name was Damien Darhk, and he was…He was good at the end I can say that…or more accurately he loved his daughter until the end and became good for her at the end
Lucifer: *realizes* That's nora’s Father…
Evelyn: Nora?
Lucifer: I don’t think you really met her but Nora Palmer, formerly Nora Darhk, her father Damien Darhk is a high ranking nazi soldier on our earth, with League of Assassins training
Evelyn; …okay hear me out Luci…why can’t WE ever get anyone with League of Assassins training to join us
Lucifer: we did, Sara’s Earth-X doppelganger, but she died
Evelyn: dammit…
Sara: …let me guess…Executed for liking men AND women?
Lucifer: for fighting for the resistance actually, the Nazis don’t prosecute based on sexuality anymore
Sara: Well damn…Oliver, you sure their earth-x is worse than the old one?
Oliver dryly: on this earth they took out half of the united states east coast, majority of France, and quarter of the Soviet Union with three bombs more powerful than an atom bomb
Sara: …okay, now I hear it…
Evelyn: and that’s your wife and child?
Sara: yep, Laurel Sharpe-Lance, and my wife there is Ava Sharpe
Evelyn: And who are all those people with you?
Sara; that’s my team I told you about
Evelyn: hang on…is that Leonard Snart??
Sara: So Leo made it back to the new earth-x then?
Lucifer: actually he goes by Lenny most of the time either that or simply Snart, SOMETIMES people call him Leo
Sara: huh…
*after the clipshow ends*
Evelyn: you’re right, we are very similar, except you’re slightly more trained than I am, and have a bit more experience…and Blonde…oh you’re right, we ARE going to get along
Sara: I told you!
Evelyn: …What about you three?
Barry: what? You want to see clip shows of us three?
Evelyn: I mean it seems to be working out pretty well so far, it worked out for me, it worked out for Sara, why not for you three?
Barry: …I guess that makes sense, I don’t see why not
Kara: I’ll go first! If you could Oliver?
Oliver: *snaps his fingers and suddenly they see Kara on screen* Now I give you, the Best of Kara Danvers
Evelyn: …that’s one of the Nazi generals who attacked us on the beach!
Kara: yep, Toyman, one face I’ll be happy not to see again…that unfortunately I’ll probably have to see again
Evelyn: That man with you…why does he look familiar…
Lucifer; that’s James or Jimmy Olson, aka Patriot he used to be a part of the main branch resistance but transferred down to the Atlantis Because his sister is sick and they have better health care down there
Kara: Kelly’s sick on your earth?! Alex must be devastated!
Lucifer: she is, even more so considering your doppelganger’s been in a two year coma
Kara: What?!
Lucifer: …maybe we should just finish the clip show
Evelyn: …so Journalism still stands for truth in your universe?
Kara: it doesn’t in yours?
Evelyn: some journalists try to let out the truth, but unfortunately it's all propaganda mostly, the only companies that even sometimes let out the truth is Catco media– now that I’m saying that out loud I’m suddenly wondering how the hell I didn’t realize we were allies with Catco– …and the resistance paper founded by your doppelganger and Iris West-Allen…
Kara: I founded a resistance paper?!
Lucifer: yep, read all throughout both resistance bases, LA and Atlantis, as well as in some parts of Gotham, oh and the Gotham papers speak for truth as well
Barry: honestly it makes a lot of sense you and Iris would co-found a paper together on an earth where you lived in the same building instead of separate cities, I mean you both are pulitzer winners
Lucifer: hang on, they are?!?! Oh I’ll have to make sure when our Kara wakes up from her coma
Evelyn: …who the hell is that guy that kind of looks like brainiac?!?!
Kara: his name is Querl Dox or Brainiac-5…or Brainy as we call him, don’t worry, the brainiac I’ve heard you’re fighting against is his ancestor, Vril Dox, not Brainy, Brainy is actually one of my closest friends
Evelyn: huh…
*after the clipshow ends*
Barry: I guess that means I’m next, Oliver?
*all of a sudden they see barry running through the city*
Barry on a voiceover in the first clip: To understand what I’m about to tell you, you need to do something first, you need to believe in the impossible, Can you do that? Good…do you see that red blur? That’s me! That too! There I am again! My name is Barry Allen, and I am the fastest man alive. When I was a child I saw my mother get killed by something impossible. My father went to prison for her murder. Then that accident made me “the impossible”. To the outside world I am an ordinary forensic scientist, but secretly I use my speed to fight crime…
Barry: hang on, is that a voice over of me?!
Oliver: it is, I just borrowed a clip from one of those universes where we’re all fiction
Barry; this is cool, man! *tries to hi five him*
Oliver: no, Barry…no…just, no…
Kara: hang on how come me and Sara didn’t get voice overs!
Oliver: well because your voice over talks a lot about you being supergirl in secret, which as we all know doesn’t apply anymore, and Sara, yours talks more about the team as a whole rather than you
Sara: okay, now I can kind of see why you didn’t run our voice-overs
Evelyn: PAUSE THE CLIPSHOW
Oliver: *grabs the remote on the table and does so*
Evelyn: okay, two things one…THAT’S THE SPEEDSTER WHO ATTACKED AT THE BEACH
Barry: I heard from Cisco you guys had to deal with your own reverse flash…guess he wasn’t lying…Eobard Thawne, the man who hates me more than anything in the multiverse, so much so he tried to destroy it
Evelyn: shit…so he was the one who–
Oliver: who sided with Vader and led an all out attack on the guardians while bringing back the being who could destroy it in less than five minutes? Yes, Yes he is
Evelyn: So that's why he went after Bart and Nora…
Lucifer: yes…Captain Snart and Myself have quite a bit of explaining to do, to everyone, from what I heard snart already explained to Nora and Bart the story, but we still need to tell the rest of the base to that they’re aware of the extreme danger this man poses
Barry: You never told bart and Nora about your earth’s thawne?!
Lucifer: I didn’t because your doppelganger asked us not to unless he returned, because you had thought you had banished him for good after your last fight…to tell everyone that Vader had killed you and Iris and Lisa
Barry: Lisa…as in Lisa Snart??
Sara: Thawne killed Snart’s sister?!
Lucifer: yes…
Sara: …you need to keep an eye on him…if your snart is anything like our earth’s snart, and this is the man who killed his sister he’ll be waiting to get his getback, plotting it…
Lucifer: don’t worry, I have been…alright, press play
*the clipshow continues*
Evelyn: Is that Snart fighting you barry?
Barry: yeah, before he joined the legends he was a professional thief
Lucifer: Okay, that makes sense…
Evelyn: …WHY IS TRICKSTER BOMBING A PARK WITH CHILDREN?!?!
Barry: yeah…on our Earth the Trickster is a psychotic terrorist
Lucifer: what??
Barry: yeah…
Lucifer: …we need to make sure Nora and Bart never find out about this
Evelyn; yeah, I agree with you on that one…
*after the clipshow ends*
Sara: alright, now it’s time for the big one…Ollie, let’s see the story of your life…
*the clipshow begins as they then hear Oliver’s voice over*
Oliver on the clipshow: My name is Oliver Queen, after five years in hell, I returned home with only one goal…to save my city. For eight years I’ve fought alongside brave men and women striving for justice, but then…a crisis came. And I had to become someone else…I had to become SOMETHING else, I made the ultimate sacrifice, which helped birth an entirely new universe, and my friends and family would have to go on without me. And although I had become a spectre, there is a part of me that will always be…The Green Arrow…
Kara: What?! You got to keep YOUR voice-over when yours talked more about you being the green arrow than the spectre! BOOOOO
Oliver dryly: well when you’re the one making the clip shows you can who and who doesn’t keep their voice overs
Evelyn: …okay, how the HELL do you somehow have more trauma than I do
Lucifer: that is a can of worms you’d rather not open, trust me Evelyn, you may think you have the most trauma in the multiverse, believe me I’ve met people with FAR more than you, four of which are at this table
Evelyn: Jesus…
*when the clipshow ends*
Sara: …no offense Oliver…but that clipshow kind of sucked
Kara: I gotta side with Sara on this one
Oliver: It didn’t suck!
Barry: I think you’re right, it didn’t suck per say but…I think what it was missing is…it didn’t show your personal side, your happy side, it just showed your trauma, and the green arrow punching out bad guys
Sara; YES, THANK YOU BARRY!! I didn’t see one sight of Dig, Rene, Thea, William, Mia, or even Felicity! That is unless you count the scenes where you, Dig, Thea, and Rene were all suited up fighting people
Oliver: that’s not relevant to this
Sara dryly: Bullshit Ollie, you showed everyone else's fun sides, and their sensitivity, you better show some clips showing your other sides, or next time I come, I bring Thea
Oliver: Sara, you know damn well what’ll happen if you do that
Sara: I do, and I don’t give a shit, now do it Ollie. Or I tell Thea AND Felicity where you’ve been
Oliver: …fine *snaps his fingers and they see Oliver on the screen with his son*
Lucifer: …did you just BULLY the one of the most powerful beings in the multiverse into showing us his sensitive side??
Sara: no, I bullied Oliver Queen into showing us his sensitive side, because whether he’s the Green Arrow, or the “AlL PoWeRfUl sPeCtTrE” to me he’s still going to be Ollie, and I’ll still always know how to check him
Evelyn: …I think you just became one of my new best friends, you and I need to hang out more
Sara: I think I definitely like the sound of that
Oliver: that’s going to be difficult considering Evelyn doesn’t have a SpecPhone OR an extrapolator
Evelyn: that actually brings me to my next question which I’ll get into after the clipshow…hang on who’s that with you, is that your son??
Oliver: yes, and that right there is my wife…and my newborn daughter…or I guess she’s not a newborn anymore
Barry: no she’s not…you know according to Dig she’s kind of taking after you, even in this new timeline, only seven year old in S.T.A.R. City who wants to climb try to climb a salmon ladder
Oliver: *laughs* of course she does…
Sara: there he is!
Oliver: there who is?
Sara innocently: happy Oliver
Oliver dryly: shut it Sara
Sara innocently: never have, never will, besides its not my fault I like seeing happy Oliver instead of brooding Oliver
*just then the slideshow ends*
Evelyn: okay, now that I’ve REALLY gotten to know all of you…onto my next question…me and my husband…we want in
Oliver: what do you mean you want “in”
Evelyn: we mean we want in to your little club of multiversal heroes
Oliver: we’re the multiversal guardians, and that’s not how this works evelyn, you can’t just demand an in and expect me to give it to you
Lucifer: she would be an excellent guardian you know Oliver–
Oliver: No Lucifer, it’s not happening
Evelyn: fine, we’ll settle for both getting a SpecPhone and an extrapolator
Oliver: No–
Lucifer: oh bloody hell Oliver *slams a green override card on the table*
Oliver: shit…
Evelyn: …what the hell is that Luci?
Lucifer: an override card, basically it’s like a rule free wish situation, this one just bought you and Aaron an extrapolator and a SpecPhone
Evelyn: nice! …any chance you have any more of those?
Lucifer: I do, but nice try, I don’t have a lot, so I’m not using another one on you, sorry
Evelyn: damn…
Oliver: *snaps his fingers and two red spec-phones that read AT-X and ET-X appear alongside two extrapolators* yours is the one that reads ET-X, your husband’s is the one that reads AT-X, and for the extrapolators, the green button brings you here, and the red button is for emergencies it’ll transport everyone with an extrapolator in their possession who is willing and able to the bar
Evelyn: YES *takes the phones and extrapolators*
Sara: now that you have a specphone you and I can talk more! I’ll be on the Prime section of your contact list
Evelyn: although now I have to ask…why make them flip phones?
Sara; because Ollie used a lot of them when he was the green arrow, as burner phones
Oliver: …she’s actually not wrong about that one, but I used the all the time because they were harder to track
Evelyn: Alright, next question, this one’s an important one…so, Cisco Ramon Earth-prime said I was an OC and he mentioned that I might be something called an outlier? What the hell does that mean?! Lucifer said it’d be best for you to explain
Oliver: An outlier…it means you’re…not exactly one of a kind, but one of few, in the multiverse
Evelyn dryly: and that means?
Oliver; It means, that while you do have some doppelgangers in the multiverse, you don’t nearly have as many as most do, even in fiction, but as for what Cisco meant about being an OC…Barry? Do you want to explain this one?
Barry: sure…so Cisco, he reads fanfiction– do you have that on earth-X?
Evelyn: we do…why?
Barry: right, so he reads fanfiction, and we noticed a pattern, every outlier we’ve met, has been an original character of this one fic writer Cisco likes on our earth, or is somehow related to one of the original characters, including you
Evelyn: *blinks in shock* …shit…wait, is Aaron an outlier??
Oliver; no he is not…there are some, in fact Several universes where he exists, and you don’t
Evelyn: …I’m not sure how to process that…but moving on I guess so I can process that later…am I the Evelyn tveit with the most trauma?
Oliver: other than maybe your doppelganger that lives in a post apocalyptic society, likely so
Evelyn: …well that’s good to know…now…I need to know…is there a way you can show me a universe…where me and Aaron are happy–not that we’re not happy together, I mean…one where all of our families our alive, and we don’t have to deal with the chaos of Nazis
Oliver: …are you sure you want that evelyn? Because it can be dangerous to know too much about the lives of one one of your doppelgangers
Evelyn: I’m sure, *dryly* and if you’re worried about me knowing too much then maybe just don’t show me too much
Oliver: …alright…here’s a moment from the lives of Evelyn and Aaron Tveit-62406…or at this time Evelyn Adams-62406 and Aaron Tveit-62406 *snaps his fingers and they see evelyn and aaron on a broadway stage rehearsing the song “Come what may” for moulin rouge!*
Evelyn: is that…
Oliver: the two of you on a broadway stage, rehearsing come what may? Yes it is…
Evelyn: …wait a second…is this…*sees aaron getting on one knee on the floor and laughs she realizes* …it is!
Kara: hang on I’ve seen this show before isn’t he supposed to–
Evelyn: *snorts* go onto the couch with me? Yes, that’s what I thought too
Evelyn on screen: Aaron you fucked up the choreo–OH
Evelyn: *laughing* oh, he never lets me hear the end of this story
Lucifer: yes, I remember actually sitting in on that rehearsal, and I was more than glad I did
Sara: this is the moment when he proposed to you…honestly this is really sweet…my proposal was a bit complicated…I had proposed to my wife in 1977 in a bar across the street from a punk rock concert after I had just escaped being kidnapped by aliens
Evelyn: I–you–What??
Sara: yeah…my life is anything BUT simple
Barry: I think I’m the only one out of us who’s had a normal proposal…it was kind of similar to this, except I was the only one singing
Kara: …wasn’t that the SECOND time you proposed?
Barry: …or maybe not…but at least the second one was normal
Kara: that and on top of that that was right after we were trapped in a musical
Barry: ……okay, I’ll give you that
Evelyn: second? What happened the first time??
Barry: That is a LONG and complicated story…
Oliver: …I’m not even going to try and throw my hat in this ring, we all know how both my proposals went…
Kara: well at least you all ended up getting married in the end
Evelyn: …first of all, Oliver…thank you…and second…how the hell do you all have lives that make less sense than mine?!?! I’m literally a resistance spy, in a resistance, led by the Devil…No offense Luci…
Lucifer: None taken Evelyn, because you're not wrong
Evelyn: …now, for my final question…I would like to know if it would be possible to take a two week vacation to Earth-62406, we both have a guaranteed break coming up and would like to use that time to take a trip there
Oliver: …I’m sorry but that’s going to have to be a no…
Evelyn: why not??
Oliver: were this almost anyone else, I’d allow it, but because it’s you two…I can’t…because you see, you two are famous on that earth, and just after the beach incident I had to deal with another incident involving Ben Skywalker going to that earth which nearly could’ve exposed the multiverse to that Earth due to the man who plays him in film on that earth being extremely famous, which would’ve caused the worst trouble, enough trouble where I was actually allowed to get involved
Lucifer: oh shit…
Oliver: exactly, and it’s even worse because your doppelgangers are famous on that earth, if you’re recognized in public, again it could expose to multiverse to that earth, so because of that I can’t allow this, I’m sorry
Evelyn: …is it not common knowledge there that the multiverse exists?
Oliver; no, it’s not, and it’s not in a lot of universes
Evelyn: oh…but c’mon there HAS to be something we can do to make this happen
Oliver: …alright, we can make this happen, but if it is going to happen, here’s how it will…now has Lucifer informed you about the coming riff off yet?
Evelyn: what? Like from pitch perfect?
Lucifer: …I was going to but there hasn’t been the right moment to bring it up yet
Sara: hang on, what about the riff off?
Lucifer: well you see in a couple of weeks there’s going to be a riff off at earth-X, and I might’ve thrown you, Aaron, and Ricky’s names into the ring to represent Earth-X
Evelyn: …okay, you see that was a good call because the answer is HELL YES
Lucifer: great, now I just need to talk to Aaron
Evelyn innocently: you can tell him when you tell him about Gotham
Lucifer: YOU HAVEN’T TOLD HIM YET?!?!
Evelyn: fuck no, you’re telling him, I’ll be there, but you have to be the one who tells him
Sara: …what’s this about Gotham?
Lucifer: it’s a long story, but we’re having a resistance funeral, and her and Aaron wanted to do a traditional catholic burial, and the only place in the world with a catholic cemetery where we won’t get rounded up for being Resistance, that being, Gotham
Kara slowly: You’re doing a catholic funeral…but you’re the devil?
Lucifer: the man we’re burying is a priest, and it wasn’t up to me
Evelyn: …it’s Aaron’s younger brother…
Barry: …I’m sorry to hear about your loss
Sara: yeah, I get what it’s like when you’ve lost someone who’s like your brother, I went through that when I had to go to Oliver’s funeral
Evelyn: but he’s alive?
Sara: but almost everyone on our earth believes he’s dead, and so did we for a LONG time…Kara just found out a couple weeks ago, same goes for me, and Barry found out…I wanna say two years ago? It had still been four years after his supposed death
Evelyn: Jesus…but back to how we can get our vacation on Earth-62406?
Kara: actually, one note about that, you guys are getting three broadway actors on your team?!
Lucifer innocently: They’re not broadway actors on our earth
Kara: only because there is no Broadway on that earth, but they’re still musical actors, how is that fair?!
Sara: I’m just happy we have you and Barry, or we’d REALLY Be screwed…
Barry: and we have Cisco too, the only one who we’re missing that’d Really help us out too is–
Kara: Winn? Yeah, I know, but unfortunately he’s in the future, and odds are he’s not coming back just for something like this
Oliver: …I could always bring him back here…send you Kara through a breach to the 31st century and have Kara talk to him
Kara: You can do that?!
Oliver: technically i’m not entering the multiverse, so yes, I can
Kara: …you guys are going down come the riff off
Evelyn: *sarcastically* sure we are *in her regular voice* but seriously, how do we get our vacation out of this
Oliver: …this isn’t public guardian knowledge yet, so what I’m about to reveal none of you can tell anyone, Evelyn you can tell you husband but that’s it…the prize at stake for the riff off is an override card for each member of the winning team
Sara, Kara, and Evelyn: WHAT?!?!
Oliver: and, while I wouldn’t normally do this, Evelyn, if you can win the Riff off, I’ll let you use that card to get your vacation, but ONLY on the condition that you figure out a way to not be recognized in public, and you can’t go to America because that’s where you’re most famous
Evelyn: D-DEAL…also do you think I could get that in writing?
*pulls out a green piece of paper that reads:*
Should Evelyn Tveit of Earth-X win an override card in the first ever multiversal riff off with the help of her team, and come up with a way to hide the identities of her an Aaron Tveit when in public, she may use the aforementioned override card to allow herself and her husband to take a two week vacation to Earth-62406 with the permission of Oliver Queen
Oliver Queen
Oliver: *hands over the note* Is that good enough?
Evelyn: perfect!
Lucifer: out of curiosity, why do you need that in writing?
Evelyn: Well one, so I can hold him to it, and Two you remember that bet I made with Morgan Karaoke night?
Lucifer: *remembers* Oh yeah…you’re right, it looks like you have your new fill in for when you and Aaron go on your vacation
Oliver; that’s IF you go on your vacation, because remember, you have quite a few hoops to jump through to get it
Evelyn smugly: no, it’s WHEN, because we’re taking down, ANYONE that tries to face us
Sara: …I respect the confidence, but you’re going down…Hey Barry Any chance you could convince Joe to join us?
Barry: yeah, as much as I would love to try, I already know that’s going to be a hard pass for him, he still remembers the incident from our wedding in the original multiverse, plus odds are he wouldn’t want to get involved with…*gestures around the room* all of this
Sara: damn…yeah, okay I can understand that
Evelyn: what happened at your wedding?
Barry: well…
Sara bluntly: in the original multiverse, Nazis from Earth-X crashed his wedding ceremony, vaporized the minister, which led to an incident of us getting brought here to a concentration camp, nearly getting killed, meanwhile Kara was going to be dissected because an evil nazi Kara needed a new heart
Evelyn: …shit…
Lucifer; hang on…Kara was evil on the original earth-X? Next you’ll be telling me I wasn’t the leader of the resistance
Oliver: …you weren’t…
Lucifer and Evelyn: I/HE WASN’T
Oliver: no, you weren’t even on earth, the leader at the time of our arrival was Winn Schott
Lucifer: *chokes on air* WINN?!?! No offense to the man, because he has a lot of heart, he’s incredibly intelligent, hell he’s one of our best hackers next to morgan, but…leader of the resistance? Really?!
Oliver: He was VERY different than he is on your version of Earth-X…but maybe let’s move on, do either of you have any more questions?
Evelyn: no, we have all my questions done, Luci?
Lucifer: yes, actually I have two, the first of which being, Oliver, an old friend of mine came back recently, he’s called the Doctor
Oliver: is he a time lord?
Lucifer: yes
Oliver: okay, I know exactly who you’re talking about…now tell me, which incarnation is he in
Lucifer; I believe his eleventh since arriving on earth
Oliver: got it
Lucifer; right, so, I haven’t had time to talk to him about this yet but, what is a Dalek, and why is he terrified for us, and what the hell is up with his past that he won’t tell us
Oliver: …if his past is anything like his doppelgangers, that is something you need to talk with HIM about
Lucifer: yes, well I figured this was worth a try…next question…last week, Steve, myself, and Barry, had to stop a fight in here over a book…what was so important about that book that you needed to fight Deadpool over it
Evelyn dryly: it’s deadpool, he literally screams out reasons to fight him
Oliver: …because…the book he brought wasn’t any ordinary book
Barry: you said that book constrained the story of another universe?
Oliver: yes…but that’s not all…that book contained the stories of several universes, for that book, was one of the books of destiny
Barry, Sara, Kara: WHAT?!?!
Lucifer; …was that supposed to mean something to me or…
Barry: I’m sorry when you say the book of destiny do you mean like THE book of destiny
Kara: And correct me if I heard wrong, but that sounded like you said bookS with an S, as in MORE THAN ONE?!?!
Oliver: when I recreated the new multiverse, the book of destiny got split into several books, however, even with my powers I can’t find them
Lucifer: okay, What are the books of destiny??
Oliver: alright, so in the old multiverse, there was an artifact called the book of destiny, and when used properly could rewrite reality, but when the multiverse was destroyed it was destroyed along with it…for the most part, there was one page that survived
Kara dryly: thanks to Lex
Oliver: yes, and because of that single page, when I brought back the multiverse, that book was recreated, however, it was split into several smaller books, almost untrackable to me and my powers, but I was able to sense it when Wade walked through the bar with the book, on top of that, I noticed, a familiar symbol on it, on the spine of the book *a symbol of a white bird on it appears on the tv wall*
Oliver: notice anything similar?
Evelyn: …why do I know that logo…
Lucifer: That's the white canary emblem…it’s one of many hanging in the room of emblems we have for those who’ve fallen in battle…
Sara: …my emblem was on that book? But it was the story of a star wars universe?
Oliver: stories of several star wars universes…which is also what raised my suspicions about it, but I have no doubt now, that that book, is one of the books of destiny
Lucifer: …are you telling me there is a book that can rewrite reality…AND YOU LET WADE LEAVE WITH IT?!?!
Evelyn dryly: That has to be the stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever heard…
Oliver: not exactly…the books have no power as long as they remain inactive, and even then and there is only one person, potentially two people in the multiverse, who can activate them, and that’s me…and possibly steve, but I haven’t put that to the test, and even if one was somehow activated, they can only change the realities of universes of which the stories inside tell, the only way they could control more if one book was combined with another
Evelyn dryly: …again…the fact you had one of these in your possession and you let wade wilson get away with is really fucking stupid, like seriously, that has to be the most contradictive thing you could’ve done to your job description, I mean what the fuck?!
Oliver: not necessarily sure that’s true, considering A. His book wasn’t activated, and he had no idea what it was, and two I realized letting him have it WAS better for the multiverse because…well… *snaps his fingers and suddenly a large book appears on the table with the flash logo on the side* This one tells the stories of Universes-Prime, 2, 89, 221, 4321, as well as a couple others *snaps his fingers and the book disappears*
Lucifer: …you let him take it, so that two of the books wouldn’t be together and couldn’t be combined
Oliver: yes
Sara: how did you even manage to get that Ollie?
Oliver: someone gave it to me as a thanks for saving their town from a multiversal threat…none of you can ever tell anyone about this, if you do, the multiverse could be in the worst danger its ever been in
Evelyn: considering I live in the multiverse, you can definitely count on me to keep that secret
Lucifer: same here
Barry: you already know we’ll keep that secret
Sara: agreed, the less who know about this the better
Kara: you don’t even need to ask me
Evelyn: …how did I end up becoming a multiversal secret keeper after one meeting
Barry: …things get complicated once you get involved with all of this…are you still sure you want in?
Evelyn: …more than ever
Oliver: well, I’m not making you a guardian, but good luck when the riff off comes
Lucifer: alright, but before we go…what’s with the popcorn?
Oliver: uh–well…
Sara; you guys interrupted our movie night before you got here
Oliver: SARA
Sara: WHAT?! It’s true!
Lucifer: oh, well sorry about that–wait a second did you forget about our meeting and Double book?!?!
Oliver: I–No–
Lucifer: honestly, I thought you used to be a CEO in your old life and a mayor, I’d think you of all people would know not to do that, bloody hell, man…what were you guys going to watch?
Barry: Jurassic Park
Evelyn: Oh hey! We actually have that one on our earth!
Lucifer: The Spielburg movie?
Kara: yep!
Lucifer: that is a good movie, alright then, I guess since you’ve answered all of our questions, we’ll leave you to it
Oliver; *opens a breach*
Evelyn: alright, Oliver, Barry, Kara, Sara, it was nice meeting you all, Sara, we’ll be in touch, but for now, I’ll see you all… at the riff off! *walks through the breach*
Lucifer: we’ll see you all later *walks through the breach*
Kara: alright, now that the meeting’s over, Oliver, get the projector screen back in here and let’s watch this movie!
Sara: YES
BONUS SCENE
*meanwhile back on earth-X*
*outside of Aaron and Evelyn’s room*
Evelyn: alright, let’s do this Luci
Lucifer: It really has to be me who tells him??
Evelyn: yes, you have to be the one to tell him, you told me, so now you have to tell him, if you want you can tell him about the riff off first
Lucifer: …fine, I’ll tell him
Evelyn: *opens the door* Hey Aaron
Aaron Tveit; Hey Ev! Hey Lucifer! How’d the meeting go?
Evelyn: it went good, we got answers to most of our questions…but Luci here has a couple of things to tell you–oh but before I forget! Catch! *tosses him his phone and extrapolator*
Aaron: what’re these?
Evelyn; your SpecPhone and extrapolator
Aaron: right…I know what the second thing is, but the first is?
Lucifer: it’s a multiversal communicator, you can use it to talk to anyone you know throughout the multiverse who also has one
Evelyn: two of those people being Victoire and Teddy
Aaron: oh, Cool!
Evelyn: now for what luci has to tell you
Lucifer: alright, so I have good new and I have less good news, which one do you want first
Aaron: good I guess?
Lucifer: right, so the good news, you two might be able to get your vacation after all, you see, I put your names in to help represent Earth-X in a riff off we’re holding
Aaron: like pitch perfect? That sounds like fun!
Lucifer; it likely will be, now, as for why this part is even better for you guys, Oliver said, if Earth-X wins the riff off, you’ll get your vacation
Aaron: …so we won our vacation?
Lucifer: not exactly, you guys are going to have some tough competition, so you know how our Obi-Wan starred in the original Moulin rouge! Movie?
Evelyn putting two and two together: You’ve got to be shitting me, We have to go against his doppelganger?!
Lucifer: yes, as well as a couple of other experienced singers, but don’t worry, we’ve got this, on top of you two, we have Ricky, Morgan, Bart, Nora, as well as a couple others I asked to join, including, my secret weapons
Evelyn: and those are?
Lucifer: well if I told you they wouldn’t exactly be secrets now would they? The only person who knows is Oliver because I had to submit them to him considering he’s one of the three judges we have
Evelyn: He's one of the judges?!
Lucifer: yes, morgan’s going to have a hologram projector set up connected to her specphone
Aaron: alright, and what’s the less good news?
Lucifer: …well…it’s about the funeral…so Evelyn told me the two of you wanted a traditional catholic burial for Jon, is that right?
Aaron: yes, that’s right
Lucifer: Well, the fact of the matter is there’s only one place on earth with a cemetery we can do that, without the funeral getting disrupted and us getting captured for us being resistance…and that place being…Gotham City
Aaron: GOTHAM?!?!
Evelyn: I know Aaron, I don’t like it either, but it’s like he said, it’s the only place in the world we can have a catholic burial without getting caught by Nazis
Aaron: …and you can make sure Jon won’t get…graverobbed?
Lucifer: yes, I already spoke with president Joker, he said he’d guarantee that Jon wouldn’t get graverobbed, and he’d do his best to be sure none of US get robbed during the ceremony or when the body is being buried…but on one condition
Evelyn: hang on, wait what? You didn’t say anything before about any conditions
Lucifer: So do you know how Jon did some missionary work in Gotham?
Evelyn; yeah?
Lucifer: well, apparently according to the Joker, people were livid when they found out about Jon being killed, apparently a lot of people actually REALLY liked him there, so the condition is…the burial has to be open to the public, the ceremony can be resistance only with the exception of President Joker and his family, and we can even still use Kurt as our Priest but the burial has to be open to the public, that was the One condition he had to this
Evelyn and Aaron: WHAT?!
Aaron: Why?!
Lucifer: like I said before, apparently he made an impact on the city, a LOT of people REALLY liked him in Gotham
Evelyn: …and this is the only way?
Lucifer: yes, I’m sure of it
Evelyn reluctantly: …if Aaron’s fine with it, you can tell him we said fine…
Aaron reluctantly: …I don’t like it…but…this is for Jon so…Fine, you can tell him we said yes
Lucifer: splendid, I’ll give him a call right away
*just then the Doctor walks in*
The Doctor/The Eleventh Doctor: I’m sorry to interrupt, but the door was open and I saw Lucifer here and I need to borrow him for a moment if that’s alright
Lucifer: does this mean you’re finally going to tell us about your past
Doctor: I will…but not yet, I’m sorry, I promise I will tell everyone about everything, but in time, right now I just needed help knowing where I can find Resistance R&D so I could get some parts I need to help fix the T.A.R.D.I.S…and potentially Janet and Hank’s help too if I can find them
Lucifer: *takes a breath* fine, I suppose I can understand that, follow me, I’ll show you where R&D is now, Aaron, Evelyn, I promise I’ll call him right after I help the doctor with this
*the two of them leave*
Aaron: …I can’t believe we’re actually doing this…
Evelyn: …is there anyone else we want to invite to the funeral who we haven’t yet?
Aaron immediately: Steve…He brought his body back to us, he gave me the rosary he had on him when he died, the rosary I had given to him to celebrate when he first became a priest, and the amazing condolence pies that got you to now like pecan pie and led to you eating almost half of it
Evelyn: It was good! What was I supposed to do?! Take one bite and NOT go back for more?!
Aaron: *snorts* the point is…we owe it to him to at least invite to the funeral after all he did
Evelyn: I agree…and if it’s alright with you…I was thinking we could also invite a couple others from the multiverse who we’ve met so far?
Aaron: Oh really? Who were you thinking?
Evelyn: well for one definitely Vic and Teddy
Aaron: alright…I guess that makes sense
Evelyn: and another one who I was thinking about would have to be this amazing woman who I met today, and she said she’s been through what I’ve been through when it comes to loss, as well as you, so I think she could really help us out with this
Aaron: alright…what’s her name?
Evelyn: her name is Sara Lance
Aaron: *eyes widening* Sara Lance? As in the White Canary?!
Evelyn: you know her??
Aaron: Sara was friends with my parents when we were really younger, apparently she used to babysit
Evelyn: huh, no kidding…
Aaron: yeah, I don’t really have many memories of her, but I remember my parents mentioning her every now and then
Evelyn: So it's alright if I invite her?
Aaron: yeah, it’s fine with me, especially considering you decided to take the reins on the arrangements
Evelyn: I know, but just because I’m the one taking the reins here, doesn’t mean I’m not going to double check things with you, because he was my best friend, but he was still your brother
Aaron: thanks, Evelyn
Evelyn: …so how’ve you been doing since I left
Aaron: I’ve been doing better…thanks…
Evelyn: It’s just, I know we both said things that didn’t mean to be said in that fight, but what I said…it was WAY worse than anything you could’ve said, and what you nearly did afterward…it scared the shit out of me… and I know you said you forgave me, and we did our therapy and we’re in a much better place now but I just want to be sure you’re okay…
Aaron: Evelyn Tveit…I love you more than anything on this earth… *kisses her* …you didn’t mean what you said, I know that now, and I know I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did, I just wasn’t in the right headspace at the time, besides, I started that fight, and for that I am TRULY sorry, but I know you weren’t in the right headspace either, because I know were you, you would have NEVER said what you said, which is why I was able to forgive you so easily, because eventually I realized, you didn’t mean what you had said, and I’m doing a lot better now because of it
Evelyn: are you sure you’re not still upset at me about–
Aaron: I am…*takes off his wedding ring for a moment* when you slid this ring onto my finger I vowed that I would always love you, in this life, and the next *puts it back on* and I stand by that vow
Evelyn: …thank you, Aaron…
Aaron: I should be the one thanking YOU for giving ME a second chance after that fight–
Evelyn: don’t even go there Aaron, *takes off her ring for a moment* In this life and the next *puts it back on* I made that same Vow, remember? Because Aaron Kyle Tveit…I love you more than anything on this earth
Aaron: …I love you too…Evelyn *kisses her softly*
Evelyn: *kisses back just as soft*
Notes:
And now Aaron and Evelyn have multiversal access! Next chapter we get to see her getting more multiverse experience in "multiversal poker night," but until then, this has been a Padjake written story, now, Mischief Managed!
Chapter 9: Multiversal Poker Night
Notes:
Alright, this chapter is as the title implies, and oh boy this is going to be a fun chapter, now as always all OC credits (except Steve the Anti-Spectre because he's mine) belong to my friend Kaylin Dubois who you can find on Wattpad @Wifeofenjolras, now, on with the chapter!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
*The Multiversal Bar*
Oliver Queen/The Spectre: alright, let’s try this again now…*holding a video game controller* yes YES YES–SHIT FUCK SHIT *gets pissed and throws the controller then snaps the video game away* I used to snap necks for the russian mob yet somehow I can’t beat stupid Sora in a game of smash bros…Unbelievable…William definitely would’ve been able to beat this guy, hell he probably already has…gets felicity’s tech skills…and Mia got my athleticism…*takes a breath* …I really wish I could see them…
*just then a breach opens*
Oliver: alright, time to focus up…unless…*realizes* …poker night, dammit…
*a breach opens up as deadpool walks through it*
Deadpool/Wade Wilson: What’s goin’ on Dollar Store Hawkeye!
Oliver dully: hello Wade
Deadpool: You know why I’m here I’m guessing?
Oliver; Poker Room’s all set up, do me a favor and try not to start any fights this time?
Deadpool: no promises sugar bear *casually just walks through a door in the bar*
*two more breaches open up with Cisco and Caitlin coming through them respectively*
Cisco Ramon/Vibe singing along what’s playing on a speaker he’s holding: Can’t read my, can’t read my, no he can’t read my Poker face, she’s got ‘em like nobody, p-p-p-poker face p-p-p-poker face muh muh muh muh *pauses the speaker* Hey Oliver! Caitlin!
Caitlin Snow: *laughing* Leave it to Cisco Ramon to bring a personal speaker for a funny dramatic entrance to poker night
Cisco: Heyyy caitlin! *hugs her* Where’s Barry? I’m surprised you couldn’t get Him to come to this, also side note about the personal speaker, in my invite from Iris she asked if I could put together a poker night playlist
Caitlin: Apparently he’s not allowed to join the group? I messaged Frost about it and Apparently “the council of poker players” voted and he couldn’t join?
Cisco: What the hell?? Hey Oliver, good to see you, any chance you know anything about this?
Oliver: good to see you too Cisco, and to answer your question
*just then Iris walks through the breach*
Iris Wood: What's going on guys!
Cisco: hey Iris! Long time no see, sorry to rush this question, but any chance you know anything about a council of multiversal poker players and why the hell my boy Barry isn’t allowed to play?
Iris: I do, considering I’m on that council, and unfortunately he’s not allowed to join because of a history of cheating in poker
Cisco and Caitlin: WHAT?!
Caitlin: Barry?? Cheat?!
Cisco: You’re joking right? Barry Allen isn’t just the fastest man alive, but he’s also one of the most honest men I know. Who else is on this council??
Iris: Frost, myself, Remy, Constantine, Ghost aunt Lils, Snart, and Deadpool
Cisco: I’m sorry, JOHN CONSTANTINE AND WADE WILSON MADE THE LIST FOR COUNCIL MEMBERS, WHEN BARRY CAN’T EVEN JOIN?!
Iris: Yeah, Snart vouched for Constantine, and Deadpool started the club
Cisco: …okay, my bad there…I guess that makes more sense…but my point still Stands, Barry should be able to Join
Caitlin; hey, Iris, any chance you know where Leo is, I kind of thought he’d be coming with you?
Iris: oh, Leo unfortunately couldn’t come, he’s been working overtime on an Auror case with Freddie, there’s this Crazy, Dark wizard who they found out was behind several kidnappings and even a couple of of unsolved murders from the first wizarding war, and what would've been the second war era
Caitlin: *hiding the fact she’s disappointed* Oh…I guess that makes sense *looks at her SpecPhone* and I just got his text saying he’s sorry that he can’t make it because of work…and that you had something from him to give me?
Iris: yep *pulls out a letter*
Caitlin: *takes it and smiles softly*
Cisco: He wrote you a love letter? That’s so sweet! Definitely better than those personalized message cube things they got going on Earth-2 and Earth-19
Caitlin: *laughs* remember the look on Joe’s face when you got one through a breach from Gypsy from Earth-19, and you opened it thinking it was a breakup cube?
Cisco: *laughing* oh god that was so embarrassing, Joe would’ve killed me had I stayed there for too long
Iris: What's a message cube?
Cisco: well you see, on some earths they have these thing called message cubes which we had never heard of at that point in time, they’re small metal holographic projectors that you give to someone with a holographic message, but in that point in time we were only familiar with one version of it being the breakup cube which Iris’ brother, our Iris, Wally had received from our buddy Harry wells from his girlfriend, now Ex-Girlfriend from Earth-2, his daughter, also our friend, Jesse Wells or Jesse Quick as she’s known as in costume, and apparently the cube was malfunctioning so he didn’t get to see the message, but apparently there was also a calming music setting that would play to help soothe the person being broken up with, and a thing where tissues would pop out incase if the person being broken up with was a crier
Iris: so a break-up cube is basically the advanced tech equivalent of breaking up by text
Cisco: basically
Iris: …you see when I met her I had liked her, but now, no offense, I’ve lost so much respect for this woman, and she had her dad deliver the cube??
Cisco: yeah…but she’s still a really good person, and at least they stayed friends, well until the original multiverse ended and we thought she was permenantly dead, but either way it’s just she didn’t know how to end things…
Iris: that had to have been so Awkward
Cisco: yeah, it was, for everyone who was in that room
Iris: honestly that’s a really fucked up way to break-up with someone
Cisco: I know, but moving on… MY message cube WAS NOT a breakup cube, although we would end up breaking up a little while later that year, it was a cube that had a lets just say not safe for work holomessage on it from my girlfriend at the time, now ex-girlfriend, and I had ended up opening it and the message started playing at Barry’s father-in-law, Joe’s place where we were all at for a christmas party, I quickly shut it off, but still, let’s say Joe wasn’t exactly happy with me opening that up in in the middle of his family room, and I VERY quickly left back to my place so I could see the rest of that message
Iris: *bursts into laughter* I–I’m sorry, but WHAT?!
Cisco: *snorts* I know, looking back on it is kind of funny, but in the moment, it was HUMILIATING
Iris: *snorts* I bet it was oh god, I went through a similar thing seventh year at hogwarts back about a couple months after me and Aidan started dating my cousin was looking over my soldier reading the love letter Aidan had sent me, also with some not safe for work information in there, Jamie Laughed, Leo wanted to throw up, and Louis looked like he was wondering what decisions had gotten him to that point in his life, and Albus was just awkwardly sitting there, same with scorpius
Cisco: *snorts* yep, same happened to me! that last one was Barry Iris and Caitlin, the questioning life decisions thing was Joe and Harry, the second was also probably Joe and the first was our immature buddy Ralph Dibney,
*just then Constantine, Lucifer, Evelyn, and Snart all walk through a breach*
Lucifer Morningstar: hello everyone, it’s good to see you again
John Constantine: who’s ready to lose their money tonight
Evelyn Tveit: only one losing money tonight is you John when me and Luci Clean you out
Leonard Snart/Captain Cold: please, if anyone here is doing the cleaning out it’s me and Lily, you two haven’t seen shit compared to how she plays
Constantine: I’ll give you that one big man, you did get lucky pairing with lily for partner night
Cisco: hey guys, couple questions, first thing being, when you say you partnered with Lily do you mean Lily Luna or–
*just then a breach opens up and Aurora, Sirius (111605), and Lily all step through the breach*
Aurora Malfoy-Black: Hey guys!
Snart: no, I don’t my friend, me and Lily are cleaning you all out
Lily Potter: that’s right my friend, tonight we will be winning everything any of you own
Cisco: Aurora, Sirius, good to see you, guys, Lily, good to see you too, but I need to have a word with you, Snart, Iris, and John as well a Remy Frost and Deadpool whenever they show up
Sirius Malfoy-Black (111605): right…so, what’s this about?
Cisco dryly: Barry can’t join on ground of a past of cheating
*Lucifer bursts into laughter*
Lucifer through laughter: B-Barry Allen? CHEAT?! That’s the funniest joke I’ve heard this week, and last night was resistance comedy night, so that’s definitely saying something
Evelyn: Is it though? I mean not to be rude, but things haven’t been the same without the trickster, James was an AMAZING comedian, and without him, unfortunately we don’t have many comedians left in the resistance, the comedy troop is down to just, Kevin Hart, Adam Sandler, George Lopez, Will Ferrell, Gabriel Iglesias, and Sam…oh that and Keegan…I only know this because Sam’s been spamming messages non-stop for the last couple weeks about needing more comedians in the troupe in the group chat i’m in with him
Lucifer: yeah, you see this is something I’m not going to let go down in flames considering the Trickster started the comedy troupe in honor of a mutual friend of his and I…alright let me think…right, tell Sam whoever’s in charge after Trickster that I’d like to have a meeting with them about finding new comedy talent
Evelyn: right, so I’m not sure I have to double check, but I think that’s wither Will Ferrell or Sam…for your sake I’m PRAYING it’s not Sam
*just then Charlotte walks through the breach with Jonah walking through another one*
Iris: YES Charlotte, you’re here! I’m guessing that means you’re ready to clean this suckers out?
Charlotte Dameron; you better believe I am
Jonah Hex: Who's the little lady you done brought here Lucifer?
Evelyn: …the fuck did you just call me? *about to rip him a new one*
Lucifer: *holding her back* sorry about that, do go easy on him, he’s an ACTUAL cowboy from the nineteenth century
Evelyn: …what?
Oliver: it’s a long story, also Jonah, I’m going to go ahead and do you a favor and let you know that she’s a good enough fighter and shot, that Sara thinks of her as a potential equal in skill level
Jonah: equal in skill to Captain Lance?? Do forgive my words miss…
Evelyn slowly semi-confused: …Evelyn Tveit…Charmed…?
Jonah: miss Tveit, I didn’t realize you were one of those future women Captain Lance told me about, and a strong one at that if Captain lance thinks you’re at equal skill, please forgive me for my words ma’am, I truly meant no insult by them *offers a handshake*
Evelyn surprised: …apology accepted… *shakes his hand* …I have to say you definitely know how to apologize to someone, I just realized I didn’t catch your name
Jonah: Sheriff Hex, but please, call me Jonah
Evelyn: right…Jonah, like I said, you definitely know how to apologize to someone
Jonah: what can I say, I may have been an outlaw in the past, but mama still raised me to respect any lady I meet, however they wish to be respected that is
Evelyn: …okay, I’d like to mention now that I have a husband just in case if this is going to lead to you trying to get with me
Jonah: ma’am that isn’t even close to what this is
Evelyn: Well alright then…Lucifer, how come you never introduced me to your friend here?!
Lucifer; in my defense we don’t see him much
Jonah: that’s the truth, only time I use the extrapolator here given to me by mister queen is for this here poker night and if the multiverse is in danger
Lucifer: that and when I invited you to come to the Resistance Celebratory after-party to celebrate killing vader
Iris: By the way, is there going to be one of those for sending Michael to hell?
Lucifer: there is, but it’s still in the planning process, considering this was the man I hated more than anything, I want to make sure everything is perfect
Iris: fair enough
*just then Remy and frost both walk through new reaches*
Remy: hello there, mon chere *kisses Frost*
Frost: *kisses back then breaks it* Hey Remy, you ready to kick these losers asses in poker
Remy: Sha, you know I always am
Everyone else there other than Oliver: LOSERS?!
Evelyn innocently: okay, I’m hoping you two go down first
Cisco: and with that everyone’s here, except for Wade
Deadpool: *walking back through the poker room door* That’s what you think, Cisky!
Cisco: okay, great, you’re here, now what’s this about barry not being able to play because of a history of cheating
Jonah: Deputy Allen? Cheat? That’s a load of horse shit
Cisco: THANK YOU—also I’m sorry did you say DEPUTY?!
Jonah: That's right, didn’t he tell you? mister Allen, miss Black, and mister Snart were such help when they were stuck with me I deputized the lot of them
Snart: that’s right, Barry, Nikki and I were made deputies, but that’s besides the point, something smells fishy here in my opinion, the Barry I knew would never cheat, and this one seems exactly like him
Cisco: well damn…but thank you, both of you
Deadpool: I have the dates if that’ll help prove anything
Cisco: Read them off to me
Deadpool: let’s see *pulls out a pair of reading glasses and puts them on over his mask then pulls out a small notepad* 2018 January 28th, 9th, and thirtieth several counts of cheating on each date
Cisco dryly: wait a second that was over eight years ago!
Deadpool: still counts!
Caitlin: wait a second…weren’t those some of the dates when Barry was in prison??
Cisco: you’re right…wait a second Barry DID tell us about this story, the times he was playing prison poker for pudding cups, MAN, YOU’RE COUNTING WHEN HE WAS IN JAIL?!?!
Deadpool: okay, prison pudding, as all of my fellow young people say, absolutely slaps, and he was in prison, so we can re-vote on that in the next council meeting
Cisco: Okay, first off, thank you, and second, how old are you??
Deadpool: that’s not important Cisky
Cisco dryly: don’t call me that
Lucifer; I’m sorry can we backup a moment, in a universe where things are nazis aren’t still a normal, BARRY ALLEN, was incarcerated?!?!
Cisco: he was framed by this guy we called the thinker
Lucifer: Clifford DeVoe?
Cisco: yeah, do you–
Lucifer: yes, we do, he runs one of the British branches of Sixth Reich
Caitlin: um…one question…so I know tonight was partner night, but Leo’s not here so I don’t have a partner
Constantine: that’s alright luv, Cisco can just play with you and I’ll take Oliver–
Oliver dryly: still not playing!
Constantine: fine then, we can call Barry here and have him play–
Deadpool dryly: not until the next council meeting
Constantine: Well who the bloody hell am I supposed to play with then?!
Deadpool: I don’t fucking know, find someone else
Caitlin: it’s fine, you were already playing with Cisco, I can just sit out of this one
Constantine: that’s alright luv, I can find someone else
Oliver: …if you’re open to suggestions, I think I know someone who’d be open to playing
Constantine: alright, I’ll take anyone you’ve got big man
Oliver: *pulls out his specphone and calls Sara* Hello Sara
Sara: Hey Ollie! What’s going on!
Oliver: are you busy right now?
Sara: me and the legends just took out some time pirates trying to steal a nuke from the cuban missile crisis, and so the cuban missile crisis remained the cuban missile crisis, and not the time America and the Soviet union both got blown to dust, so no, I’m not busy right now, why?
Evelyn: damn…
Oliver: Well if there is a multiversal poker night going on, and there’s a spot open right now, would you be interested in coming?
Sara: hell yeah! But are you sure this is okay for me to come? after all considering I’m a NON-GUARDIAN
Oliver dryly: not this again, for the last time Sara, I’m not making you a guardian! However, considering I’m not the one running it, it’s not up to me, but Evelyn is here so it should be fine
Sara: oh shit, Evelyn's there? Lead with that next time Ollie, *somewhat jokingly* I’m not missing a chance to see my multiversal non-doppelganger twin
Evelyn in the background jokingly: Can’t wait to see you too twin!
Sara: alright, Me and Ava just need to go check on Little Laurel back on the waverider, then I can come over
Oliver: great, just so you know, you’re playing partner poker with earth-X constantine
Sara: Wait WH–
Oliver: *hangs up* there we go John, now you have a partner
Constantine: You partnered me with Sara Bloody Lance?? …oh you lot are going down tonight
*just then a breach opens up*
Sara: alright, my kid’s taking a nap, let’s see who around here do I know…let’s see, I obviously know my fellow earth-primeys, shout out to caitlin and Cisco
Cisco jokingly: EARTH PRIME REPRESENT
Sara: *laughs* …Lucifer, we just met, Evelyn, good to see you girl…
Evelyn: same to you sara
Sara: …you I wish I didn’t know, deadpool
Deadpool innocently: love you too sugar bear
Evelyn dryly: you’re not the only one Sara, believe me… *shudders*
Sara: Let's see…*looking around sees Jonah and walks over to him* well if it isn’t Sheriff Jonah Hex *smirks*
Jonah: *shakes her hand and smirks back* Good to see ya again Captain Lance
Sara: *shakes his hand* good to see you too you Jonah…Remy and Frost I remember both from the fight, and I used to know Frost’s prime doppelganger, Snart, I know because he used to be a legend on my earth, same goes for my poker buddy John, definitely glad I got him, you all are going down
Constantine: and we were both proud members of the legends on our earth as well, and as we did together when fighting time pirates, and time demons, you and I, will be kicking everyone’s sorry arses
Sara: now THAT’S what I like to hear, now alright, let’s see…Iris I remember meeting you, good to see you again
Iris: You too!
Sara: and that leaves you three *gestures to Lily, Aurora, and Sirius* …actually wait…you look familiar… *looking at Sirius* …Oliver, do I know his doppelganger? …I’m guessing he’s not a ghost on our earth?
Oliver: played by Gary Oldman in the Harry Potter movies
Sara: played by Gary–*realizes* SIRIUS BLACK?!
Aurora: the series where they’re fiction, and I’m an original fan character, got it
Sirius: It’s Malfoy-Black actually, this is my wife Aurora Malfoy-Black
Aurora: nice to meet you
Sara: Wife?? I don’t remember you being Married in those movies, and I’m sorry Malfoy? As in Draco Malfoy?
Aurora: my nephew
Sara confused: what?!
Cisco: I’ll send you a link to the fanfic that’ll explain all this
Sara: …you see I’m not a big READER per say, I’m in a book club, but I usually listen to it on audiobook while I work out and train, any chance you have that in audiobook format
Cisco: I don’t…but considering I’m helping explain other universes here, I’d be happy to make one…I THINK I can do that and not get sued as long as the writer of the fic doesn’t find out, also I like audio books too so I get that, you got any recommendations? Fantasy, Sci-fi, or mystery, any one of those three preferably…or novellas but I kind of doubt it’s going to be one of those
Oliver: don’t worry about that Cisco, I think I can help with that, the two of you meet with me after poker night’s over
Sara: Thanks oliver, and for recommendations, if you like mystery stuff, any chance you like true crime?
Cisco: I like to dabble in it sometimes, why?
Sara: in that case I have to recommend Ava’s Podcast StabCast her true crime murder podcast, it’s actually pretty good, and if you like mystery I think Mick and Mona have been working on a new book, and Mick has been working on an audio book version of one of his cheesy romance mystery novels
Cisco: alright, I’ll give it a listen sometime when I’m working
Sara: Nice!
Evelyn: you have a friend who's an author?
Sara: oh yeah, you'll like Mick...well...maybe not at first
Deadpool dryly: if you two have had enough with your pillow talk would you can we start poker night now??
Sara: in a minute wade! I got one more person to meet!
Lily: Hi there, my name’s Lily, Lily Potter, like Aurora and Sirius I’m from Earth-111605
Sara: Lily Potter? As in Harry Potter’s Mom? No offense but what’re you doing here? From what the movies made you sound like you were a bit of…well…
Lily: a Rule stickler?
Sara: …yeah…sure, let’s go with that, so why go to why come to…this? Given we’re playing poker and all
Lily: well you’re right, Most of the time I am a rule stickler, however, when it comes to poker, I make an exception, because I am bloody GOOD at poker, besides I don’t think the normal gambling laws really apply in a plane of existence between universes
Sirius: it’s true, and she takes the game seriously too, it’s one of the few times she swears, and the only reason her husband, and one of our best friends isn’t in this club is because James, her husband, Sucks at it
Constantine bluntly: that and the two of you combined is too much chaos for even us to handle, same reason why the other Siriuses haven’t been invited
Sara: well damn…good to know
Deadpool: alright, alright, we all think we can clean eachother out, now let’s see who actually can, follow me to the poker room *walks through the door to the poker room*
Lucifer: wait a moment, that door actually goes somewhere that doesn’t loop around??
Oliver: I created it as part of the override Deadpool used to make his multiversal poker nights a regular thing, that game room is also where you’ll be doing your dnd campaign when the time comes
Cisco; huh…
*everyone follows him into a room that looks almost the exact same as the main room in the bar except the Bar counter is filled with drinks and snacks, and there’s a large poker table in the middle of the room, and there’s a sign with a bunch of different currencies on it*
Deadpool: just so the newbies know, the room’s designed so it’ll have all your favorite drinks and snacks, and the glasses refill themselves so they’re bottomless, and the moment you look away there’ll be a new bowl of snacks in place of whatever you take, and the buy in rate is on the wall with all of your currencies
Sara: Hang on a second, why the hell does it say both 200 bucks AND 7 bucks for us dollars, those are DRASTICALLY different prices
Evelyn: yeah, I’d prefer to seven bucks to play instead of 200 if possible
Deadpool: Okay, the only person who pays the seven buck version of the buy in is Hexie because of the whole, he’s from 1875 thing–
Cisco: so for him seven dollars would be the equivalent of 200 dollars, ohhhh…
Deadpool: exactly, and don’t fucking interrupt me Cisky
Cisco: real quick before we get started, Lucifer, quick question…do you know anyone of importance with the initials FR? Anyone Alive? In your universe?
Lucifer: I can’t say I do…why?
Cisco: I’ve been finding several notes in my apartment, at my job, even at them freaking big belly burger, that all read the same thing “from a potential friend on earth-X, meet me at…” and then it gives me the location of a certain bar, at a specific day, and a specific time, and they’re all signed by an FR or I guess they have a nickname with the letter C because there’s also a C in quotes
Lucifer: Odd…The only person I can think of would have to be–*realizes* your doppelganger…Francisco Ramon–
Cisco: …or Cisco…man, how the hell did I not put my own initials together?! …you think it’s from Reverb?
Lucifer: I can’t think of anyone else it could be…is there any chance you have one of these notes on you?
Cisco: yeah *pulls out one of the notes*
Lucifer: *looks at the note and recognizes the bar name and address* …I know this place, it’s a bar only a couple of blocks away from Lux…hell it’s one of the few establishments that’s older than the lux building still in Los Angeles
Evelyn: I’m sorry, what??
Cisco: wait a second…I know this bar too…this is the Bar my grandfather took me to when after I turned 18 and me and my family went to visit him, he gave me my first sip of alcohol
Caitlin slowly: they let you drink when the legal age is 21?
Cisco: you gotta remember this was the 90s, they didn’t really care as much about that, and my grandpa wanted to be there for my first bottle of beer
Caitlin: okay, you make a fair point, but I’ve met your parents, I’d have thought they would’ve killed you if they had found out you had drinken even a SIP of alcohol before you were 21
Cisco: yeah, I know, they probably would’ve, which is why they STILL don’t know
Lucifer: right…okay, and this is in less than two weeks…you and I will need to discuss this more later *puts the note away* …for now let’s just grab our refreshments and play shall we?
Deadpool: alright, the name of the game is partner poker, where tonight the winnings are split between partners, so basically if one of you fucks up, both partners get fucked over, we’re playing five card draw, and we’ll do a couple different versions tonight, but in the end you’re splitting up the winnings 50/50, for the first round each buddy sits across from one another, I already have name cards for where you’re sitting to start, Cajun, you’re dealing tonight, but you know the rules, put all your spare cards over on the bar counter
Remy: yeah, yeah, I know Wade *places two decks of cards onto the bar counter, then goes to his seat and pulls out another two and shuffles them* Frosty, you think you can grab my–
Frost: Budweiser and spicy chips? *sets them at his seat then grabs her refreshments* I got you babe
Remy: for mon cher, I will be forever grateful
Frost: yeah, I know *goes to her seat*
Evelyn: *going to the bar counter* …you and I may not agree on many things Deadpool…but…this is DEFINITELY the best thing you’ve ever done…or had done
Deadpool: why thank you Blunt Gem
Evelyn dryly: aaaaand we’re back to fuck you deadpool, I hope you’re one of the first to get cleaned out *flipping him off as she goes to get her snacks and drink*
*once everyone has their drinks and is sitting down*
Deadpool: alright, before we get started, everyone put in your buy ins *puts in 200 dollars to the middle*
Charlotte: *puts in 50 imperial credits*
Cisco: here we go again *puts in 200 dollars*
*Caitlin and Sara do the same*
Frost: *puts in 158 pounds*
Remy: *does the same*
Jonah: *puts in seven dollars from 1875*
Evelyn: uhh, Lucifer, just so I’m sure we pay US Dollars right?
Iris: *putting in 158 pounds* I’ve actually been meaning to ask, how does currency work on Earth-X?
Lucifer: It’s kind of confusing honestly, so after World War II ended, and the Nazis reigned supreme, they decided not to mess with the currencies too much to allow for global trade, but since America was their biggest threat they decided to give us the middle finger by changing the name of the US Dollar to the Nazi-Dollar, so while we are still the united states of america, we are still ruled by the Nazis
Iris: …huh…
Evelyn: okay then, 200 bucks *puts in 200 Nazi-dollars*
Charlotte: *looking at the bill* …I’m sorry, does that bill have Palpatine's FACE ON IT?!?!
Evelyn dryly: yeah, while they didn’t mess Mess TOO much with the currency when Palpatine was calling the shots he put in an order for when he died for there to be a 200 dollar bill made and mass produced in america with his face on it, and from what I’ve heard, Vader had the same plan and they’ll start doing that soon replacing the Sidi-bill with the Vader-Bill, or something like that
Charlotte: …I am SO sorry for you
Evelyn: thanks…
*Lucifer: *puts in a Sidi-Bill*
Constantine: *does the same*
Snart: *does the same*
*Aurora, Sirius, and Lily all put in their 158 pounds*
Deadpool: alright, now that that’s done… *takes off his mask and puts it on the table then pulls out a small red button* I can press the button that gets everyone their chips *presses the button and now everyone suddenly has a set of poker chips* now everyone’s got 20 dollar chips, 21 five dollar chips, and 3 twenty-five dollar chips, and everyone put in the starting bet of 2 dollars
*everyone puts in their chips*
Deadpool: good, now Cajun, Deal
Remy: already on it Wade *throws five cards at everyone’s spots WITHOUT kinetically charging them* alright mon amis, now we begin…Evelyn, you’re up first, then we go around to the right from there
Evelyn: Got it…I put down two *puts down two cards as remy tosses her two more cards*
Cisco: I put down four *puts down four cards as remy tosses him four cards*
Iris: So Caitlin, how’re things over at Star Labs?
Caitlin: about the same they’ve always been, helped stop some bank heists, put away some meta criminals, same as always…how’re things in your universe?
Iris: good, the kids are doing good, Aidan’s been having fun testing out his new speed
Caitlin: that’s great, by the way while we’re here, I wanted to talk to you about something about, it’s actually about Aidan and his speed
Iris: okay…What about?
Caitlin: two things, well one, has Aidan been fainting at all since he got full speed?
Iris: No, he’s been feeling a little tired lately, but other than that, he’s been fine
Caitlin: has he been eating enough?
Iris: yes
Caitlin: are you talking normal standards or speedster standards?
Iris: *realizes* …shit…we forgot about the fact he has to eat more or he’ll faint again
Caitlin: yep, I had a feeling you’d say that–I put in two and raise 5 *puts in a five chip as she puts down her cards as remy then throws her two cards*
*everyone else does too*
Cisco: if you want I can make you some special energy bars like I did for barry when I was with team flash, so that way he won’t eat you out of house and home
Iris: That’d be great Cisco thanks, I put down three, *puts down three cards*
Constantine: I put down one, and raise twenty *puts in four five dollar chips*
Cisco: …I fold *puts down his cards face up revealing a three of a kind*
Iris: yeah, I’m out too, charlotte, it’s up to you *puts down her cards revealing a pair of twos*
Sara: …hmm…I fold *places her cards face up revealing she had nothing*
Deadpool tauntingly: smart move with that hand Birdbrain, meanwhile me, I’m all in *throws in 4 five dollar chips*
Sara dryly: watch your mouth wade, we don’t want a repeat of the incident from a couple weeks ago, also you’re forgetting John’s MY partner, meaning me putting in more of my own chips is kind of just screwing myself over when from the sound of it john has a sure plan up his sleeve
Evelyn slowly: what happened a couple weeks ago?
Sara: *smirks* I kicked his ass
Deadpool: uhh, you might want to fact check that again Blondie because last time I checked I was the one doing the ass kicking
Sara: *Laughs* ooookay Wade, tell yourself what you want to hear
Evelyn: damn, that’s one thing I’d have LOVED to see
Lucifer: actually they both lie, it was actually a fairly even fight, that me, Steve, Barry and Charlotte had to stop the two of them, Remy, Frost, Kara, and Oliver from fighting before anyone got TOO hurt
Charlotte; it’s true, also, I’m still in *throws in her chips*
Lucifer: As am I, in fact I see your twenty and raise you another five *throws in a twenty five chip*
*everyone else who already put in before puts in another five*
Constantine: good luck to you then Luci
Evelyn: …yeah, good luck to you Luci, because I’m out *lays her cards down revealing a pair of twos and a pair threes*
Jonah: I’m afraid Imma have to fold here, good luck to you Mister Wilson *lays down his cards revealing his cards faced up revealing a high card*
Deadpool: it’s alright Hexie, I’m gonna win this one
Snart; I’m afraid I’m gonna have to fold as well, hope you’re still going to go strong Lily?
Lily: unfortunately that’s going to be a no for me as well
*both snart and Lily put down their cards face up*
Aurora: I’m still in *puts in a twenty five chip*
Sirius: good, and I’m hoping you win Love, because I’m OUT *reveals that he has nothing but a high card*
Aurora: …that was a smart move love
*remy and frost both share a look*
Remy and Frost at the same time: We’re out *they both revealing their hands revealing they had nothing*
Constantine: and there were five
Caitlin: make that…six *tosses in a twenty five chip* don’t count me out just yet John *smirks innocently*
Iris: …now I’m starting to see one of the reasons why Leo likes you…also earlier you said there were two things you needed to talk to me about Aidans speed?
Caitlin: right, now what I was going to say is, he can’t go to a normal doctor or healer on your earth anymore for health concerns
Iris: and that’s because–
Caitlin: because they’re likely not suited to handle Speedster patients, if they check his heart rate they’ll think he’s about to die due to the fact that his heart beats so fast not even an EKG could read it
Iris: oh…okay, that’s good to know, thanks
Caitlin: which is why, if it’s alright with the two of you, I’d like to offer my help at Star Labs, for any health concerns in the future you can come over and I can check him there to see what’s going on, and you don’t need to worry, I have plenty of experience having been Barry’s doctor since he became the flash about…ten years ago
Iris: really?! That’d be great!
Caitlin: great, in that case If possible I’d like to see him as soon as possible so that we can get a look at him to be sure everything’s in order, whenever you’re both free
Iris: I’ll talk to Aidan about it when I get home
Cisco: damn…it’s hard to believe it’s ten years since we got started in all of this chaos
Caitlin: I know…it has been a while…
Iris slowly: …how old are you again Caitlin?
Caitlin: biologically speaking I’m 30, but actually I’m a bit older, it’s a long story
Iris: ooooookay then?
Deadpool dryly: hey, Gal Pals, The Doctor’s up
Iris dryly; shut it wade
Caitlin: I put down one, and raise two *puts in 2 one chips*
*everyone else still in puts in 2 one chips*
Deadpool: *smirks* Cisco, Play the playlist
Cisco: on it *starts poker face by lady gaga on the speaker he brought
Lucifer jokingly: Poker face? A little on the nose there Cisco?
Cisco: the song has sentimental value, sue me!
*after a couple of times around the table go by*
Lucifer: I raise five then I call *puts in five*
Aurora: …I’ve gone this far *puts in five* I’m not backing down now
Charlotte: …sorry Iris, but I’m out *folds revealing two Jacks and two threes*
Caitlin: *puts in five* I’m still in, I’m calling too
Constantine: *puts in five* I’m calling too, and you lot are going down
Deadpool sarcastically: sure I am british Magic Mike *puts in five*
Lucifer; well I called so I decide the order, and since you’re so confident Wade, how would you care to go first?
Deadpool: Gladly *puts down a full house with three fives and two twos* Call Uncle Jesse Because we’ve got a full house, sugar bears!
Caitlin: you’re right, we do, and while uncle Jesse would approve of your full house… *smirks* I believe DJ would prefer my FULLER HOUSE *reveals her hand revealing three queens and two jacks*
Cisco: *Laughs* DAMNNNNNN Caitlin! I’d hi-five you if I wasn’t on the other side of the table
Iris through laughter jokingly: Okay, if you didn’t have my approval before today, you DEFINITELY do now
Caitlin innocently: why thank you
Deadpool: SHIT
Aurora: …damn…*puts down her cards* …your queens and jacks beats my tens and eights, I guess you win
Cisco: YES
Lucifer: I wouldn’t be so quick to celebrate if I were you, because not only do I have an ace in the hole…*smirks as his he reveals his hand being two aces, a joker, and two kings* I just so happen to have four
*silence*
Evelyn dryly: uhhh Luci? Are you going blind?
Lucifer: no, I’m not, why is that
Evelyn dryly: then you might want to look at those cards again, because I’m seeing three aces and two kings at best
Lucifer: What are y–*looks at the cards as his eyes widen* What–But–HOW?!
Evelyn: oookay? I’m not sure what the hell that’s about but you still win with that, which is Great for us
Lucifer: yes, I know, but I could’ve SWORN that I had three aces, a joker, and a king, four of a kind, an ace of hearts, an ace of clubs, and an ace of spades
Evelyn: okay, but again, we still won!
Constantine: au contraire, Evelyn luv, because you see, what the big man *puts down all spades, a ten, a jack, a queen, a king, and an Ace* Call me the bloody king of England because I do believe I have a Royal flush
Sara: YES, THAT’S WHAT I LIKE TO HEAR JOHN
Lucifer: …huh…interesting…
Constantine: What’s interesting Luci? The fact I won? *taking his chips*
Lucifer: yes, yes, congrats to you Johnny…*in french* Evelyn, ne penses-tu pas qu'il est pratique que John gagne avec une quinte flush royale avec un as de pique alors que j'étais confus à l'idée de perdre la mienne? (Evelyn, don't you think it's convenient that John won with a royal flush with an ace of spades while I was confused about losing mine?)
Evelyn in french: D'accord... maintenant que j'y pense, c'est un peu suspect. (okay… now that I think about it, it is a little suspicious)
Lucifer: Exactement, et puisque tu es assis plus près de lui, je veux que tu gardes un œil sur lui (Exactly, and since you're sitting closer to him, I want you to keep an eye on him.)
Evelyn: Vous pensez qu'il utilise sa magie pour tricher? (you think he’s using his magic to cheat?)
Lucifer: Oui
Evelyn: Très bien, je vais le surveiller alors. (alright, I’ll keep an eye on him then)
Lucifer: bon (good)
Remy casually dry with a HEAVY Cajun accent: Vou es sâ que j'parle francais, non? (You know I speak French right?)
Lucifer: …merde… (...shit…)
Evelyn: ...Qu'est-ce qu'il vient de dire? (......what did he just say?)
Lucifer: Il parle français, juste au moment où il le parle, mais c'est avec un accent cajun donc c'est plus difficile à comprendre pour ceux qui parlent bien français. (he speaks french but in a cajun accent so it’s harder for those who only speak proper french to pick up)
Cisco: Oye, what’s with the french you three?
Remy: It’s nothing Cisco, don’t worry about it…Je vais faire vite, s'il triche, faites-le-moi savoir en français, parce que j'adorerais avoir une excuse pour lui botter le cul après l'argent qu'il vient de nous prendre, à moi et à Frosty. (I'll be quick, if he cheats, let me know in French, because I'd love an excuse to kick his ass after the money he just took from me and Frosty.)
Lucifer: oui
Evelyn in Mandarin: Wǒmen ānquán ma (are we safe?)
Lucifer in Mandarin: Shì de, tā zhǐshì xiǎng ràng wǒmen zhīdào tā shìfǒu zàicì zuòbì (yes, he just wants us to let him know if he cheats again)
Sara: *raises her brow slightly suspicious* …you know Mandarin, Evelyn?
Evelyn: …do YOU know mandarin?
Sara: Yeah, as well as Tibetan, Arabic, and Italian, what else do you know?
Evelyn: Italian, French, German, and attempting to learn Spanish
Cisco: …you know Italian yet you’re struggling with Spanish?
Evelyn: Save it, I don’t want to hear it, I already get enough of that as is from Luis and Ricky
Sara: I get the same shit from a member of my crew, goes by Spooner
Lucifer: Esperanza Cruz?
Sara: you know her doppelganger?
Lucifer: KNEW her doppelganger…yes, I did
Sara: …well shit…
Remy: alright, now all the cards are back in, I’m dealing now…everyone, put in ya startin’ bets
*they all do so while remy shuffles*
*after another two rounds later*
Deadpool: alright, and for those just now re-joining us, this three games in, one win for British Magic mike, one win for the Doctor, and one for the Bookworm–
Iris, Evelyn, Caitlin, and Lily dryly: Which one?
Deadpool dryly: Muggleborn bookworm
Lily; …okay, that works,
Deadpool: …and now we’re down to the final round of this part of the poker night, and all that remains is the blonde birdie–
Sara dryly: white canary
Deadpool: …the blunt Gem–
Evelyn dryly: *flipping him off* it’s SPARKLING. DIAMOND. ASSHOLE… not BLUNT GEM…get it right…fucking Wade
Deadpool: as I was saying, the blonde birdie, the blunt gem, Hexie, the Cajun, and Breach boy are all that remain, as well as everyone’s favorite Merc with the mouth…
Cisco: I call! *places down his cards* full house! Jacks and tens!
Sara: Sorry Cisco, but… *reveals her hand*…Kings and Queens
Cisco: dammit…
Remy: sorry there miss Lance but I got… *puts down his cards* …four fours…
Jonah: That’s CAPTAIN Lance, Remy…also damn, that beats my four twos *reveals his cards*
Sara: thank you Jonah, also SHIT
Evelyn: if only someone had something that could beat that, I don’t know perhaps something like a straight flush! *reveals a 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9 all of diamonds*
Remy: PIKE TWA CROT
Evelyn: …what the hell was that?
Lucifer: cajun french, it’s best if I don’t translate
Evelyn: and seeing as there’s no way you’re beating that Wade, I think that means I win
Deadpool: Not so fast BLUNT GEM *for a moment he scratches his mask on the table* …I think I have something that could win…*reveals a royal flush of hearts* I win!
Evelyn: *eyes widened* …Why did you just scratch your mask that’s on the table?
Deadpool: I don’t know what you’re talking about?
Iris: …I saw it too…
Evelyn quickly: Iris, You’re right next to him, Grab the mask
Iris: *grabs the mask and turns it around dumping out a ton of cards*
Evelyn: YOU FUCKING CHEATER *throws his mask at him, then stands up and pulls out her diamond gun*
Lucifer: *stands up* Now evelyn–
Cisco: *stands up* hang on…you wouldn’t let Barry join on grounds of cheating, yet here YOU are CHEATING *makes a fist as if he is going to vibe blast him*
Deadpool: *pulls out two guns of his own* you’d better watch your moves you two
Jonah: *stands up and pulls out two revolvers and aims them at the two of them* He’s right…sorry mister ramon, miss Tveit, I like the two of you, I really do, and while he may tend to…bother me…at times I can’t let you shoot my poker partner now, just consider yourself lucky I brought my regular pistols instead of the special ones Sheriff Palmer made for me
Lucifer: *folding his arms* You may not be able to let her shoot wade, but I can’t let you shoot her Jonah
Sara: and I know we’ve been friends a long time Jonah…but I can’t let you shoot them either *stands up and pulls out both of her extendable batons*
Remy: yeah…*standing up* You cheated wade, and you know damn well how I feel about Cheatin’...
Deadpool immediately: THIEVES CODE
Remy and Snart: NOW?!?!
Deadpool: yes, NOW
Remy reluctantly: *sighs and takes one of the decks off the table and puts them in his jacket then pulls out his retractable staff*
Snart reluctantly: *sighs and pulls out his cold gun and aims it at Lucifer* Sorry Luci, but I’d stand down if I were you, I wouldn’t want to ruin your suit
Lucifer: …Really Captain Snart?
Snart: I’m sorry, but he evoked the thieves code, you know I have to do this
Lucifer: *sighs* I understand
Evelyn dryly: that’s a THING??
Remy: yes it is Mon amis
Frost reluctantly: …which means they have me with them as well *her eyes start glowing light blue as a cold mist starts coming from her hands* …sorry guys, but I’m not fighting remy
Constantine: alright, let’s just take it easy you lot–
Lucifer dryly: maybe we can talk then about how you cheated in the first round then?
Constantine: …I don’t know what you’re talking about there big man–
Lucifer: YOU CHANGED OUR CARDS WITH YOUR MAGIC SO YOU’D WIN!!
Constantine: …bullocks…I’m going to be helping these other guys if that’s alright with you big man
Caitlin: …can we go back to the breathing idea John had earlier, Oliver is RIGHT in the other room and would put an end to this fight VERY quickly
Deadpool: this room is soundproofed, he can’t hear us
Caitlin: dammit…
Iris: …sorry caitlin…it sounds like there might be a fight here *pulls out her wand*
Aurora: I think I agree *pulls out her lightsaber and sticks her wand in the hilt*
*Sirius and Lily do the same as all three of them ignite their sabers*
Charlotte: *takes out and ignites her lightsaber*
Caitlin: guys, this is crazy
Lucifer: she’s right, if we do this, there will be NO WINNER
Deadpool innocently: so what I’m hearing is…you’re going to be a whiny bitch about this Luci?
Lucifer: …okay, let’s kick his arse
Cisco: *opens a breach behind caitlin*
Caitlin: *having an idea of what he’s doing goes through it only to end up behind the bar counter* *under her breath* …dammit cisco I was hoping you’d send me to Oliver…alright, I guess time to crawl my way to the door…
Constantine: *uses his magic to lift up all the tables but the poker table and lower them on their sides to create makeshift shields on both sides of the room as the others all start to separate*
* Toxic Las Vegas by Elvis Presley and Britney Spears starts playing*
Deadpool: *after putting his mask back on* BAR FIIIIIIIGHT, CA-NA-DA, CA-NA-DA, CA-NA-DA
*a massive fight breaks out*
Constantine: *casts a spell that causes his hands to catch fire which he throws at Lucifer*
Lucifer: *dodges it then pops out his wings* We’ve Established this John, Watch. The suit.
Cisco: *behind a flipped table shooting vibe blasts at the other side*
Jonah: *aims and fires two bullets out of his pistols, one at Evelyn, and one at Cisco*
Cisco: *dodges the bullet*
Evelyn: *just barely dodges the bullet* …and here I thought we were going to be friends, sheriff!
Jonah: I wish we could still be friends when this is over miss Tveit, as I am with the rest of these people, but unfortunately for now, I’m gonna have to shoot ya seeing as we on opposite sides all
Evelyn: fair enough, and because of that I’m guessing you can understand how I’m gonna have to shoot you?
Jonah: that I do, miss tveit
Evelyn: *proceeds to immediately fire the diamond gun at Jonah, then at Deadpool*
Jonah: *gets behind the table for cover*
Deadpool: *laughs as he gets hit with a diamond to the chest* I have a healing factor blunt gem! That ain’t doing SHIT
Snart: *fires the Cold Gun at Lucifer freezing lucifer’s arm in ice*
Lucifer: *breaks out of is using his angel strength* DAMN IT LENNY NOT ANOTHER SUIT RUINED
Remy: *throwing cards in all directions*
Sara; *runs up to Deadpool and attacks him with her batons*
Deadpool innocently: *drops his guns and pulls out two katanas and blocks Sara’s batons* Bring it on Blonde bitch
Sara: *starts making relentless attacks on Deadpool*
Deadpool: *blocking every single one with his katanas*
Jonah: *fires a bullet that goes through sirius then grazes aurora’s shoulder*
Sirius: AURORA
*just then Oliver walks into the room with caitlin behind him*
Oliver: not this again…*raises his right fist as suddenly green spectral particles are emitted as everyone just freezes mid-fight*
Caitlin: uhhhh, Oliver? What did you just do??
Oliver: I freezed everyone but us in time, and now…*reverses time to just before the fight so everyone but Oliver and Caitlin are sitting down at the poker table* I reversed it *breaks everyone free*
Deadpool: what the fuck knuckles is this?! Weren’t we JUST fighting??
Evelyn: Normally I don’t like agreeing with Deadpool but he’s right…
Aurora: yeah, I could’ve sworn I was just SHOT
Oliver casually: hello everybody…
Cisco: …okay, Caitlin, you definitely made the right move…
Deadpool: and of course the goody two shoes snitched on us to Dollar Store Hawkeye, BOOOOO
Caitlin dryly: I’m a doctor, I wasn’t going to stand by and let you all kill each other over a poker game
Oliver dryly: yeah, and now that I know about the fight, you know the drill
Deadpool: yeah, yeah, I know, just split up the winnings and we’ll get out of here
Caitlin: …I’m sorry is this a regular occurrence during these poker nights?
Snart: yeah, we play some poker, there ends up being some kind of fight for some reason, usually something Wade said or did
Charlotte dryly: that checks out
Constantine bluntly: and now you know why I told you to bring your gun, Evelyn? Even though you ARE the one who started the fight with it…
Evelyn slowly: …yeah, okay now I got it…although I have to admit…this was kind of fun
Lucifer: bloody hell, Oliver, you are a miracle worker, thank you SO much, for repairing my suit
Sara: …okay, you guys are going to have to invite me to the next poker night too, because was a lot of fun
Constantine: the council will talk it over, luv, although odds are you’re ending up back here next time
Caitlin: …note to self, next time, bring the spare cold gun from the S.T.A.Rchives
Iris: I mean odds are you likely won’t need it considering Leo should hopefully be done with his case, but good idea still
Deadpool: So we'll see you all next poker night?
Cisco: *turns off his portable speaker* …what the hell, I’ve done more with those who’ve done worse, sure, I’ll be back, let me know the time, how long from today, and this one goes out to everybody, anybody let me know song requests for the poker playlist
Caitlin: *laughs* that sounds like a deal, I guess I’ll be coming back too
Sara: oh yeah, same here, besides, the after fight is a good workout
Evelyn: I agree with that, I’ll be back too
Lucifer: and I’ll be back in an attempt to stop…THIS, from happening again
Lily bluntly: you won’t I’ve already tried, at this point it’s best just to embrace it
Iris: and next game will be Leo’s first game, so everyone do me a favor and NOBODY TELL HIM ABOUT THE FIGHT…I’m looking at you Caitlin…It’s going to be bloody hilarious seeing his reaction to the fight
Remy: You have my word
Charlotte slowly: …the friendships within the guardians really are chaotic as FUCK
Caitlin: I one hundred percent agree with that
Sara: damn…I just realized this is the second time I’ve fought deadpool and it’s ended in a tie…well at least this time it’s not about some stupid book
Deadpool: about that, I meant to ask, Dollar Store Hawkeye, what the fuck did you do to my book when you had it, because recently my book started fucking GLOWING
Oliver, Sara, Lucifer, and Evelyn: WHAT?!
Lucifer: Wait, is this the same book you were telling us about Oliver?
Deadpool: if it’s the one I won back thanks to Remy in that poker game, yes, yes it is
Oliver: *nods*
Charlotte: hang on, you mean that book that Deadpool tried to show us about another universe? Why the hell are you all freaking out about this…
Evelyn: uhhh…Oliver, who else knows about what you told us…
Oliver: …alright, due to business matters, I’m ending this poker session now, I’ll be sending you home with your winnings right now, check your pockets when you get home
Iris: Wait, Oliver what the Fu–
Oliver: *snap his fingers and all that remain are Cisco, Caitlin, Charlotte, Sara, Deadpool, Lucifer, and Evelyn*
Charlotte; okay, i’m going to finish her sentence and just ask what the fuck is going on
Oliver: …follow me… *they all go back to the main part of the bar*
Sara: Oliver, you said that only YOU could activate one of those books, and that you didn’t
Oliver: I DIDN’T–perhaps being in close proximity to another book by bringing it to the bar, partially activated it…but even that, there’s no telling what could happen if it falls into the wrong hands
Cisco: Okay, What the hell is going on Oliver??
Oliver: Caitlin, Cisco…do you two remember the book of destiny?
Cisco: yeah, the reality changing book from the old multiverse, what about it?
Oliver: …well, in the new multiverse, the book was separated, into several books of destiny, none of them are activated, but they’re completely scattered across the multiverse, untrackable to even me, one of which is in my possession…and one of which being…the book owned by Wade Wilson of Earth-Infinity
Cisco, Caitlin, Deadpool and Charlotte: WHAT?!
Charlotte: I’m sorry, you let HIM leave with an artifact that could CHANGE REALITIES
Oliver: yes, I did
Charlotte: okay, you see this is something that would’ve been helpful to know during that fight I was helping to break up, because then WE ALL WOULD’VE BEEN WITH YOU
Oliver: again, the book wasn’t activated, well now it might be PARTIALLY, the only way to fully activate it would be for me to spark its powers to life, which I’d have to directly be trying to do, and don’t worry even if for some reason I did, which I wouldn’t unless it were the most DIRE of Circumstances, each book can only control the realities of those whose stories it contains
Charlotte: okay, I’m kind of waiting for the part on why you sent everyone away, and why only we’re still here
Deadpool: …so you’re telling me I could’ve been fucking with other universes this WHOLE TIME…and NOBODY TOLD ME?!?!
Oliver: no you couldn’t, and No, you’re not going to…and to explain why you all are still here, because Lucifer and Evelyn already knew about the book, as did Sara, Cisco and Caitlin, and don’t worry, Barry is aware of the situation for the most part
Cisco: good
Charlotte; and Me?
Oliver: well…you see…I called Steve and asked him to look into the book for me and…that book…the story of Universe-364 is In that book
Charlotte in shock: *blinks for a second* I’m sorry, are you telling me, that WADE FUCKING WILSON HAS THE ABILITY TO CHANGE MY UNIVERSE’S REALITY
Oliver: that…I’m not sure, if he could or couldn’t…however, even if he can’t he’s not going to
Deadpool: …why am I not going to…?
Oliver: because…*uses his powers to keep him from moving as he grabs him by his super suit and lifts him in the air*
Deadpool nervously joking: Yeah, ummmm, Ollie, I may be pansexual, meaning I'm into all types of people, but I’m not into you that way
Oliver in his spectre voice: *slams him down against a table* Listen to me, and Listen good…You, wade wilson of earth-infinity are to be the new guardian of the fifth book of destiny, you will keep it from falling into the wrong hands, you will not under any circumstance use it to alter the reality of ANY other universes, nor should you EVER bring that book to this Bar under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, should you ever even ATTEMPT to alter the reality of another universe with the book I am placing you in charge of, I will do my job and protect the multiverse, by ELIMINATING what threatens it
Evelyn quietly slightly nervous: …Lucifer, have you ever seen him like this...?
Lucifer quietly uneased: yes…but to this extent is new…this is somehow worse than me on deviltime
Evelyn quietly: Jesus…*to sara* …Sara was he ever like this when he was alive
Sara quietly: he was…but he hasn’t been like this, or at least to those extent, for a while…
Deadpool innocently trying to joke: …you’re getting a little close there aren’t you bud–
Oliver darkly in his spectre voice: *applying more pressure* THIS IS NOT A JOKE WADE WILSON, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME
Deadpool: *feeling extreme pain looks to what seems to be a random Wall* Really?? This is what we’re doing here?! Are we sure making ME do this is the best idea?
Oliver darkly in his spectre voice: *increases the pressure again* I SAID DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME
Deadpool: FINE YES I UNDERSTAND, JUST FUCKING LET GO OF ME
Sara: OLLIE!!
Oliver: *blinks, realizes, and takes a breath as he lets go and steps back*
Deadpool: *getting up from the table coughs for a moment* holy fuck knuckles Dollar Store Hawkeye…I forgot you had that in you
Oliver: …I’m sending you back to your universe, check your pockets for your winnings *snaps his fingers and he disappears in a flash of green light*
Lucifer: …Oliver, I’m just going to ask…what the hell was that? Since When–or even HOW did you have THAT in you?!?!
Oliver: I’ve always had that in me, because while you know most parts to my story there are a couple that you don’t know about…like how during my five years in metaphorical hell, I used to be a fully fledged member of the Bratva
Lucifer; I’m sorry, as in THE RUSSIAN MOB?!
Charlotte and Evelyn: WHAT?!
Oliver: it’s a long story…but just so you all know…no one outside of this bar can know about the conversation we just had, not even the other guardians, other than Barry, and Kara, given they already know about the book, it’d be too dangerous for them to find out, so I’m going to give you all two options, leave now, winnings in pocket, and with your memories intact and never speak of this conversation again, or leave forcibly with your memories altered by me…except for Sara and Cisco, I still need a word with you two
Evelyn sarcastically: gee, such a hard decision
Lucifer: right…i choose the first option as well, also Cisco, remember to call me so we can talk about the situation with reverb
Cisco: I will, and I’m also choosing the first option
Caitlin; same here
Charlotte: yeah, I’d also like my memories intact, but at least I know that if Deadpool fucks up my universe you’ll go to his and fix it
Oliver: that’s right *opens a breach* this will take all of you back to your respective homes, or in the case of Lucifer and Evelyn, back to the Resistance base, check your pockets for your winnings when you get back
Caitlin: alright, I’ll see you all later then *walks through the breach*
Lucifer: right, we’ll see you all next poker night…*walks through the breach*
Evelyn: …everytime I get involved with multiverse stuff things get more and more chaotic in my life
Sara: yeah…that happens to be one of the downsides of getting involved with the hero life
Evelyn: good to know…Sara good seeing you again, Cisco, Sara, Charlotte it was nice meeting you, Oliver…it was good seeing you *walks through the breach*
Charlotte: alright, I guess I’m next, I’ll see you all later *walks through the breach*
Cisco: Alright, now what’s this about?
Oliver: I said I could help you with that audio book that explains Aurora’s universe…well in part, considering that her universe is different from the fanfiction Cisco reads in the sense of jedi exist there
Cisco: right, of course
Sara: okay, well I guess one understanding universes, one at a time
Oliver: *goes to the table and uses his powers to reveal a book there*
Cisco: …is that–
Oliver: the first book of destiny…now while deactivated it won’t change realities, however…*flips towards the end of the book* one of the last universes it tells about is one that’s identical to the fanfiction story Cisco told me about, and it seems to follow the story of our aurora’s universe for the most part, barring the stuff with the Jedi of course
Sara: okay, so that still doesn’t explain how this helps with the audiobook thing
Oliver: …do you want morgan freeman as the voiceover or do you want me?
Sara: what kind of choice is that OF COURSE I want morgan freeman
Oliver: *puts his right hand on the book and his left over the table as his eyes glow dark green and suddenly two playaways appear on the table*
Cisco: …is that a playaway??
Oliver: yep, both of them are loaded with the story of Aurora Malfoy-Black *takes one and hands it to Sara*
Sara: thanks Ollie
Oliver: no problem, and one for you *handing the other to Cisco*
Cisco: for me?! Thanks man! *takes it*
Oliver: I had a feeling you’d appreciate it, now the breach is still open and you two can leave
Sara: right…I’ll see you both later
Cisco: yep, I’ll see you!
*they both walk through the breach*
Oliver: *makes the book disappear then takes a sip of beer* …I’ve got a bad feeling something’s coming…I really hope I’m wrong…
Notes:
Yep, Deadpool is now the Guardian of one of the Books of Destiny, an item that can impact several different realities of several different universes, where will that lead to? You'll see eventually but next chapter will be a two parter titled "Lab-Break," but until then, this has been a Padjake written story, now, Mischief Managed!
Chapter 10: Lab Break (I)
Notes:
alright, as always all OC credits (except Steve/The Anti-Spectre) Belong to my friend who you can find on wattpad @wifeofenjolras. Now this time I can't say much before going in so I guess on with the chapter!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
*Earth-X, War Room*
Lucifer Morningstar: …so You’ll let me use it at Lux reopening then?
Harrison “HR” Wells on the specphone: yes, however I will be getting this back, right?
Lucifer: I promise HR, you will get your facial transmogrifier back after we’re done
HR: great, I’ll see you at…the riff off then?
Lucifer: yes, I’ll see you then, thank you again, so much *hangs up*
Evelyn: *walking in* Hey Lucifer, who was that you were talking to?
Lucifer: a friend of mine, from Earth-prime
Evelyn: Earth-Prime? What’s going on?
Lucifer; nothing bad, it’s just I was talking with him, because he might be my key to getting to see the reopening of Lux in person
Evelyn: …umm…are you sure that’s a good idea? What if someone recognizes you?
Lucifer: don’t worry, they won't. I'll make sure of it, also on another note what’re you doing here?
Evelyn: not really anything, just stretching my legs
Lucifer; oh, well I should probably let you know that Aaron was looking for you just now, you missed him, he said there we something important he needed to talk to you about
Evelyn: oh…it’s probably something about the funeral plans, I should go find him
Lucifer: it’s not about that, I can tell you that, but you should still probably go find–
*all of a sudden they hear a flap of wings as Amenadiel appears behind them, as well as another woman with a spear*
Amenadiel/God: LUCIFER
Evelyn: WHOA *pulls out her gun* Who the fuck are you and how the hell did you get in here??
Lucifer: AH–Bloody Hell, Don’t DO that Amenadiel! Stand down Evelyn, it’s only my brother, the only tolerable one anyway…as well as one of my sisters apparently, Hello Remiel
Evelyn: *lowering her gun* your brother…wait you called him amenadiel…AS IN GOD?!
Amenadiel: Yes, I’m God, or I am, but not at the moment, but Lucifer, I’m here because I need your help
Evelyn: what do you mean not at the moment
Lucifer: …you’re in your old angel dress and not the god dress, why are you in the angel dress?? And What’s Remi doing here?!
Remiel dryly: good to see you too brother
Amenadiel: because, I needed to come here myself and handle things, and we’re here about Charlie
Lucifer: *eyes widening* …Evelyn, could you give me and my siblings a moment–
Amenadiel: she can stay, and I want you to call the multiversal guardians for backup
Lucifer: okay, what’s this about brother, Charlie has been missing for nearly forty years now, and not even you were able to find him as GOD
Amenadiel: but I have now, and he’s HERE, IN LA
Lucifer dryly: …I’m sorry he’s in Los Angeles? But we searched Los Angeles– and the city of Angels! That on the Nose even for Michael
Amenadiel: I don’t know how, but I think whatever spell that kept the building he’s in hidden from me, was somehow linked to Michael, and now that he’s in hell, he doesn’t have his link to it
Evelyn: Okay, Who the hell is Charlie?!
Lucifer: my nephew slash Godson
Evelyn: Someone made YOU a Godfather?!
Lucifer: Amenadiel did, alright, I’m guessing you know where this place is he’s being held?
Amenadiel: I do, and we’re going to need all the help we can get, because this place is HEAVILY Fortified
Lucifer: I’m sorry, fortified enough to hold off three angels…also another question, if you and Remiel are both here, who’s currently God?
Amenadiel: the only person other than Remiel who I could be sure wouldn’t try to keep the God powers and throne when I returned, Zadkiel
Lucifer dryly: of course it had to be our pretentious twat of a brother Zadkiel
Amenadiel: I’d watch how I talk about him if I were you, considering he can hear you as of now, and he’s one of our siblings who actually wants to lift your temporary heaven ban
Lucifer: …did I say pretentious twat, you know what I meant to say was warrior of righteousness, yes that’s right, but back to what’s important
Amenadiel: and to answer your question Lucifer, yes it is, from what I can tell this place they could keep us out if they wanted to, considering they have celestial weapons
Lucifer: …bloody hell…
Amenadiel: which is why I need you to call for backup, when everyone arrives I’ll explain the situation
Lucifer: right, I’ll call the guardians, as well as a few other resistance members, including my two best agents…Evelyn…I know this is a lot to ask but–
Evelyn immediately: yes.
Lucifer: I didn’t even–
Evelyn: you don’t have to Lucifer, this the last piece of your family that’s still on earth, there’s no way you’d think I wouldn’t help
Lucifer: right…fair enough then *goes onto his specphone and sends out a mass text*
*the Message*
Goat Legs 🐐(Lucifer)
To anyone who sees this message, I need help, it is a long story the details of which will be explained upon everyone’s arrival, but the short version is my nephew (AmenadGod’s Son) was kidnapped and after 40 years we’ve finally found him, and me and my brother can use all the help we could get in finding him, meet us in the resistance War room on Earth-X
Lucifer: …WHO CHANGED MY NAME IN HERE TO GOAT LEGS?!?!
*Evelyn, Amenadiel, and Remiel all burst into laughter*
Evelyn: I-I’m going to take a shot in the Dark and say that was Wade, and if it is, don’t tell him I said this, but that’s fucking amazing
Amenadiel: …That Goat rumor is easily the best thing I’ve EVER done
Evelyn: YOU STARTED THE GOAT RUMOR?!?!
Amenadiel: although I don’t like to brag about much, when it comes to embarrassing my brother Luci, I’ll make an exception
Evelyn: …I am worshiping the right God, I know that now
Lucifer: MOVING ON…
Evelyn: earlier you said you’d call two of your best agents, I know I’m one, but who’s the other
Lucifer: …Agent Thunderbird
Evelyn: so the Queen of Spying meets the King of Spying, it’s about damn TIME
Lucifer: …right, so before I call him here…I need you to promise me you won’t blow up and murder both me and agent thunderbird
Evelyn: …why would I do that?
Lucifer: Just Promise me!
Evelyn: Okay, Fine! I promise…
Lucifer: *goes to a drawer in the room with a bioscan lock and puts his hand on it*
J.A.R.V.I.S: *disembodied voice* Hello High General Morningstar, Requesting vocal authorization code
Lucifer: Authorization Code; Deckerstar666
J.A.R.V.I.S: Luci’s Angel Database Access Granted, which of the Angels should I contact to come to the war room High General Morningstar?
Lucifer: Agent Thunderbird
J.A.R.V.I.S: Very Well, Agent Aaron Tveit has been contacted, and is now on his way to the war room, is there anyone else I should contact High General Morningstar
Lucifer: Yes, I also need you to contact Nightcrawler, Beast, and the Doctor, thank you Jarvis, that will be all
J.A.R.V.I.S: very good sir, Father Kurt Wagner, Doctor Hank McCoy, the Doctor have all been contacted
Evelyn: AARON IS AGENT THUNDERBIRD?!?!
Amenadiel slowly: you should probably keep that down
Lucifer: don’t worry, this room is soundproof, but Evelyn, I’m sorry you had to find out this way Evelyn, before he gets here and you try to go off on the both of us, you should know that he couldn’t tell you all of the angels have strict orders not to tell anyone outside of the program, and the only ones other than us who know, and those about to find out, have general level clearance, and if it helps, that’s literally what Aaron was looking for to tell you about
Evelyn: …Wait WHAT?!
Lucifer: yes, so you know how I put him in charge as the front “owner” of lux?
Evelyn: yes…
Lucifer: well now you know why that is, and he was going to “hire” you for the Lux project, but one of the conditions we agreed on is he could only choose people he would trust enough to know his Angel status, so he’s been trying to figure out how to explain that to you so he could hire you, and today, he was finally going to tell you, which is why he was going to look for you earlier
Evelyn: oh…I guess that explains why Christian, Luis, and Ricky have already been hired and I haven’t…
Lucifer: exactly
Evelyn: alright…I guess that kind of makes sense…I guess…I’m DEFINITELY not happy about it…but I can understand it…so the Luci’s Angel program is real? Not going to lie, I thought it was a myth since not even I made the cut and I currently hold the fifth highest mission success rate in the resistance spy program, and third without powers
Lucifer: good…and yes, it’s real, and like I said, you can’t talk about it with anyone other than Aaron, and don’t even try to ask me or him who the others are because he has strict orders not to tell anyone outside of the program the identities of other angels, and the only people he’s telling about his Angel status are people he’s hiring for the Lux project, and everyone who’s about to show up to help us get back Charlie
Evelyn: …got it…
Aaron Tveit/Agent Thunderbird: *walks through the door into the the war room* Lucifer, I got the emergency message what’s going–*sees Evelyn, Amenadiel, and Remiel and panics* E–Evelyn, Hi, funny seeing you here, seeing as before this I was just looking for you, to talk to you about something VERY important…also less importantly, who are these two
Lucifer bluntly: She knows Aaron, and so do they
Aaron: oh…Evelyn believe me I was LITERALLY just looking for you so I can tell you about EVERYTHING
Evelyn: I know, Aaron, Lucifer already explained the situation…and while I’m not happy about the fact you’ve been hiding this from me, I understand it, seeing as I’m a spy too, so I know sometimes secrets are kind of part of the job…besides, we have bigger matters to deal with right now
Lucifer: yes, so to catch you up, I’m a godfather, to my brother Amenadiel’s half-angel half-human child, this is Amenadiel by the way, the not at the moment, God, and my sister Remiel, angel of the hunt… *teasingly* …and Amenadiel’s little clone
Amenadiel dryly: Luci.
Lucifer: right, sorry, but moving on, about 40 years ago, he was taken by michael, and this was just shortly after my brother became god, and he took him somewhere that not even he as God, the almighty brother, could find him
Aaron: …that is a lot to process…
Lucifer: and you’re my best and most reliable agent, which is why I need you with us on this mission, but fair warning, should you choose to join us, a LOT more people will likely find out your identity
Aaron: How many is a lot?\
Lucifer; however many guardians show up for this mission, which given the situation, it might be a lot, as well as Beast, Kurt, and the Doctor, and a couple others who are guardians
Aaron: …okay, I guess…we'll from what you told me the Doctor knew anyway since he’s a general…but I guess that makes sense…and most of the guardians who are from earth-x I’d trust enough to tell anyway, so I guess this won’t be too bad
Evelyn: …what’re the odds of Deadpool showing up?
Lucifer: I’d say 50/50
*just then Bart and Nora speed in with Nora running in with Cal*
Bart West-Allen/Impulse: we got the message and we saw some of the others coming this way
Loki/God of Mischief: *appears in a puff of green smoke* as did I
Nora West-Allen/XS: I’m sorry but I’m going to need more elaboration on the fact that your brother has a son apparently??
Amenadiel: I do, me and my wife had a son named Charlie
Cal Kestis: You’re MARRIED?!?! …Also who’s she?
Remiel: Remiel, Angel of the hunt
Lucifer: and our younger sister, and EASILY the most Loyal to Amenadiel
Bart: …okay, I can kind of see why Evelyn might be here for this, but what’s Aaron doing here for this
Morgan Stark/Iron Maiden: *walking in* …for a reason that I have a feeling you’ll find out later…HUDSON HURRY UP
Everyone who knows him: HUDSON?!?!
*just then Hudson comes in pushing a whiteboard twice his size and puts it in the back of the room, while wearing his sunglasses*
Morgan: why did you bring the whiteboard, kid?
Hudson: because I need to make sure that no one erases it…Aunt Ev, Uncle A, I’ll explain why that is to you two later…and potentially you as well High General morningstar, on another occasion
Evelyn: Quick question Morgan, what’s Hudson doing here?!?!
Morgan casually: part of our internship situation is me preparing him for different potential jobs in the resistance, one of which being mission command, so while we’re all out in the field I’m gonna have him on comms with us guiding us through the building from the base, once I hack into whatever building’s security cameras I can find, as well as get a copy of the holo-blueprint I’m guessing amenadiel has?
Amenadiel: *tosses her a flashdrive*
Aaron slowly: …is this really the best Idea, not that I don’t think he can do it, because I’m almost one hundred percent sure he can
Morgan: listen, it’s him or no one, and we need someone to do it, and he’s the only one other than me who knows how to deploy the Iron-Legion should things go to shit, and considering this place is fortified enough to even contain a HALF-ANGEL for FORTY YEAR, there is a pretty good chance of that
Lucifer: …fair enough…
Evelyn: but I’m sorry, what the hell is the Iron-Legion??
Morgan: it’s a protocol my dad set up that I upgraded that deploys a massive army of old Iron-Man, slash War Machine, slash Iron Maiden Suits that can fight without having someone in them should they be needed
Evelyn: …And HUDSON knows how to deploy THAT?!?!
Hudson somewhat dry: Yes, Hudson knows how to deploy THAT, I’m sorry Aunt Ev, but I’m right here
Evelyn: …sorry…
*just then, Echo, Adelynn (X), Neville, and Constantine all rush into the room*
General Echo: YOU FOUND CHARLIE
Evelyn: YOU KNOW ABOUT CHARLIE
Adelynn Skywalker-Kenobi(X)/Cicada II: from what I’ve heard he’s one of the few who do
John Constantine: yeah it’s a bit of a complicated story to say the least
Mjr. Gen. Neville Longbottom: Yeah, come we never knew you had a nephew??
Cpt. Leonard Snart/Captain Cold: *walking in with Stein and Jax behind him* That’s a good question Neville, one I’d also like the answer to
Martin Stein/Firestorm: That makes double for me
Jefferson “Jax” Jackson/Firestorm: triple
The Doctor: *walking through the door with Kurt, and Hank* Charlie Was kidnapped?!?!
Fr. Kurt Wagner/Nightcrawler: *in his nightcrawler outfit holding two swords* we’re ready to help get him back
Dr. Hank McCoy/Beast: however we can help
Lucifer; …I didn’t catch you up on that did I…also good, because Doctor, we’ll probably need the Tardis with how many people are on this mission
The Doctor: how many people do we need to transport?
Lucifer slowly: …a lot?
*just then a breach opens up and tons of people flood through it*
Lucifer: *looking around and counting* …seventy-ish people?
The Doctor: …right…we might have a few people flooding into rooms other than the console room but I think we’ll make it work
*everyone starts talking asking questions at the same time*
Lucifer: WOULD EVERYONE SHUT UP FOR TEN SECONDS SO I CAN SPEAK
*no-one hears him*
Deadpool/Wade Wilson: *fires a pistol into the air*
*silence*
Lucifer: WADE
Deadpool: relax Goat Legs, I did this so we can go one at a time, besides this one only shoots blanks–or wait…*checks the gun* okay, we’re good, this is the one that shoots blanks, now, as far as questions, seeing as I am the one who shut everyone up, I’m going first, now, I’d like to clarify I’m only here because I owe Amenadiel for saving my ass in Nexus, and two, what the fuck are you two doing here, *gesturing to Kara and Sara* because you’re not from this earth, and you two aren’t guardians
Sara Lance/White Canary: we’re here because me and Kara despite Oliver not letting us be guardians, we are still heroes, and we’re going to help Lucifer get his nephew back
Deadpool: right, but how do YOU know about this??
Kara Danvers/Kara Zor-El/Supergirl: *in her supergirl suit* he sent this to everyone with a SpecPhone
Lucifer: …I did not mean to do that, but I’m glad I did
Deadpool: next question, who the fuck is this chick french boy brought with him
Louis Weasley: …that’s me I’m guessing?
Deadpool: yeah, no shit Sherlock, considering Sherlock isn’t here that you’re the only GUY with *in a bad french accent* CWOISSONTS in your veins
Louis dryly: God that was a terrible accent…but to answer the question, to those who don’t know her…*awkwardly* this is my friend…slash baby momma…Chloe Diggory
Chloe Diggory: Hi, nice to meet you all…
Lucifer confused: …right and you brought her because…?
Chloe bluntly: Because I’m not letting my baby grow up without a father
Deadpool jokingly: Damnnn, you know out of your Weasley clan I would’ve expected James Sirius to be the one to end up with a baby momma
Ali Longbottom dryly: unless it’s me, he better not
James Sirius Potter bluntly: don’t worry love, I’m not THAT stupid
Brian O’Connor: sorry, by the way, Dom and Letty were at parent teacher conferences for Little brian, otherwise they’d both be here too
Percy Jackson: yeah, and Annabeth is with her mom right now, and Grover is on a satyr quest
Scott: and Hope is on a business trip, and Cassie went with her
Iris Wood: yeah, I’m guessing Leo and Freddie are working on that case at the ministry, same goes with all the Aurors in my universe aside from Aunt Rosie
Lily Luna Potter: they are, it’s the same reason why I’m here and Scorpius isn’t
James Sirius: actually why we’re both here and Albus isn’t
Adelynn Skywalker-Kenobi (111605): I think this is everyone who’s coming…damn there’s a lot of people here
Harrison “HR” Wells: WHOA What are Vice President and Second Lady Tveit doing here
Barry Allen/Flash, Cisco Ramon/Vibe, Caitlin Snow, Victoire Lupin, and really everyone else who knows Aaron, including Aaron: VICE PRESIDENT?!?!'
Evelyn: I’m sorry did he just say Vice President and Second Lady?!?!
HR: Sorry, my mind is partially still on Earth-19
Aaron in shock: …there’s an Earth where I'm the Vice President of America…and Evelyn’s the Second Lady?!
HR: yes, that’s right, my original universe to be more precise, well, I mean probably not anymore considering how long it’s been since I’ve been back there, you know I was a little confused why Cisco’s read fic about the second lady and vice president, but suddenly things are starting to make sense
Evelyn: …out of curiosity, who was the president then?
HR: the President Was President Jordan
Evelyn: President Jordan?
HR: yes, President Jeremy Jordan
Evelyn: …yeah, I don’t think we don’t have him on this earth
Ray Palmer: Or on ours I don’t think…
Teddy Lupin: that makes sense considering on our earth he plays a character, on Supergirl’s show known as Winn Schott
Everyone from Earth-X, and Kara: WINN?!
Lucifer: I’m sorry, Winn becomes PRESIDENT ON YOUR ORIGINAL EARTH
Teddy: the actor who plays him does, there’s a difference, he’s his…doppeldouble?
Kara: …honestly, I can kind of see that
Han Seoul-Oh: Jeremy Jordan becomes president…damn…wouldn’t have guessed that…
Roman Pearce: alright, now for my question, what the hell’s the kid doing here
Hudson: The Kid has a NAME you know…it’s Hudson, and I’m here to monitor the place you’re breaking into from our base here, and guide you through
Deadpool: *as he’s holding a marker getting closer to the whiteboard* Really? We’re letting a nine-year old QB for us on a mission where we’re saving someone from being kidnapped
Hudson: …I’m TWELVE for your information, and I’m also technically a genius so…
Dick Grayson: …well at least he’s older than the current Robin was when he first started patrolling on my earth
Lucifer; …yeah, that checks, Bruce on this earth DID have an entire Batfamily from what I heard back in Gotham
Hudson: also, another note, I’m guessing you’re Deadpool, STEP AWAY FROM THE WHITEBOARD
Deadpool: or what kid? You’re half my size
Hudson: *presses a button on his watch that causes for an Iron Gauntlet to form around his hand* you see, Miss Stark taught me your weakness, Mr Wilson… Charles, set gauntlet power levels to 65 percent
C.H.A.R.L.E.S in his sunglasses: Already done Hud
Deadpool: *laughs* you think that little toy is going to hurt me? Also Who the fuck are you talking to, who’s Charles??
Hudson: my AI, short for, Creative Hackers Artificial Rad and Loyal Enhancement Software C.H.A.R.L.E.S, Charles
Deadpool: *laughs* you’re bluffing
Hudson: *blasts him where it hurts*
Deadpool: *falls to the ground* AGAIN?! FUCKING WHY
Hudson innocently: still think I’m bluffing?
Morgan: *laughing* Nice Work Kid!
Evelyn: …Hudson…let me just say, I am SO proud of you right now
Jaime Reyes/Blue Beetle: as much as I LOVE watching this, can we maybe get back to the reason we’re here
Amenadiel: thank you Jaime, now for the reason we’re here, today, we’re saving multiple people, not just Charlie
Lucifer; there are more people than Charlie stuck captive there?!
Amenadiel: the full list is on the flashdrive I gave to morgan with the holo-blueprints
Morgan: well then, let’s plug this bad boy in and see who the hell needs to be broken out of this prison *makes her way through the crowd of people to the cyber desk in the center of the room* Hudson, get over here! You’re going to need to see this!
Hudson: *makes his way through to her*
Morgan: *plugs it in and turns on the cyber desk revealing a holo-blueprint of the place* whoa…that’s not a prison…
Holly slowly: what do you mean it’s not a prison?
Beast: *examining the plans* she’s right…that’s no prison…that’s a Lab
Lucifer: how the bloody hell would you hide a lab that large in Los Angeles?!
Morgan: from what it looks like, a couple ways, Illusion charms, Light Refractor shields, Holograms…jesus, and this place is fortified too…they have three armies who stay at this base, around the clock security, Celestial Bullets, Force Dampeners, Meta Dampeners, Mutant gene Repressors, Magic Dampeners–*swipes away the blueprints getting to the list of people who run the base* –FUCK, and Guess who’s in charge of the lab at the moment…
Peter Parker/Spider-Man: *in the Iron Spider armor* who is it?!
Morgan: Eobard FUCKING Thawne
Lucifer; oh bloody hell
Half of the People there: SHIT
Chloe: …who is Eobard Thawne??
Barry, Sara, Snart, and Iris dryly: Evil speedster
Barry: who’s also the Reverse flash
Kara: HIM?!?!
Morgan: But wait, it gets better…apparently there are a couple other familiar names who are at the moment helping to run this lab…Toyman…who the hell is Doctor Psycho??
Lucifer: be careful around him, he’s a crazy telepath who can mind control
Morgan: …and…this one doesn’t even sound like a name, Davros?
The Doctor: so he didn’t take his bags and leave after the message I gave toyman to send to him…blast…
Morgan: Who is Davros?!?!
The Doctor; He’s a Kaled, who is most known across the universe as being The Creator of the Daleks
Morgan: well that explains all of the Daleks I’m finding helping to Guard this Lab
Lucifer: okay, I’ve given you a lot of time to explain this, but we’re out of time here Doctor, now is the time for you to finally explain your past
The Doctor: …alright, sit tight, it’s time I finally explain my past before the resistance…and the death of Galifrey, and all the other Time Lords…this all goes I landed and settled into the 1920’s England, with my granddaughter, while still traveling the Universe through time for about a century, and every now and then I’d run terrifying creatures, such as the Cybermen, the Weeping Angels, or The Toymaker, until eventually, there was an accident the tardis was launched back to Gallifrey, during what would be known as the great time war, and it was then I would try to flee, back to earth, to find my granddaughter but due to the aforementioned accident I’d forward to just after the second world war had ended, after the S bombs dropped and decimated half of england, I had feared that my granddaughter had been decimated with it, or worse, she had found her way back to Gallifrey in order to find me, which is why I’d then leave back to Gallifrey and fight in the great time war for decades before committing an act so heinous that I’d spend the rest of my days trying to make up for it…I pressed the button, that would lead to the destruction of the rest of the time lords, and what I thought to be the destruction of the Daleks, leading me to become the last of our kind, after I did that I’d travel the universe for another couple centuries until I landed on earth again when I’d eventually Join the resistance in the mid 1950s, and I never did see my granddaughter again unfortunately…
Lucifer; YOU HAVE A GRANDDAUGHTER–YOU HAVE CHILDREN?!
The Doctor: Yes, or I will…Time travel really is a tricky business
Lucifer: right…
Morgan: …your granddaughter, she’s a time lord, right?
The Doctor: yes, that’s kind of how Genetics works
Morgan: …is her name by any chance Susan Foreman?
The Doctor: …how did you know that?
Morgan: because she’s in the Lab we’re about to break into look! Apparently she’s its oldest resident, being there nearly…SEVENTY YEARS?!?!
Lucifer; hold on a second, did you say susan foreman? As in Lieutenant Susan Foreman?! She was one of the co-founders of the resistance, I thought she had died back in the 1950s, not long before the doctor showed up
Scott Lang/Ant-Man: how the hell is that possible??
Louis hiding his excitement at meeting THE Doctor: time-lords don’t age, they’re nearly immortal, however when near death, they regenerate with a new face
The Doctor: precisely, I’ve been alive for over a million years
Peter Quill/Star Lord: that’s insane
Morgan: What's insane is some of these rooms, although they make sense…it looks like there are different wings for different captives as well as a couple of specialized rooms…
Clint Barton/Hawkeye: well don’t keep us waiting, who else is in there
Morgan: alright….as I said before…Susan Foreman, Time lord, nearly seventy years…Charlie Martin, Nephilim, forty years…Sergeant Johnny Blaze, Current Host of the Spirit of Vengeance, aka Ghost Rider, twenty years…Commander Fives, Kaminoan Mandoan Clone, 15 years…
Echo and Adelynn (X): FIVES IS ALIVE?!?!
Morgan: he is, and there’s still more people in here…Robert “Bobby Drake, Aka Iceman, Mutant, ten years
Constantine: hold up a tic, did you say Bobby’s there?! And Alive?!
Morgan: yes, but if you could all PLEASE hold reactions until the end, there’s still a couple more on this list…Captain Hal Jordan, human, aka the fourth Green Lantern, ten years…Wallace “Wally” West, aka Kid Flash, Metahuman Speedster, Seven years
Deadpool: hang on as in the guy I need to kill to get paid?
Half of the people there: WHAT?!
Morgan: DAMMIT WADE COULDN’T YOU HAVE WAITED JUST FIVE MINUTES
Hudson: okay, side note, I swear to god Deadpool, If you mess this up by killing the guy we’re going to save while on the mission, I will blast you at full power–
Deadpool: I’m not going to kill one of the guys we’re going to go save while we’re saving him, don’t worry, I’m not a fucking idiot, besides odds are we’ll need him to break out of this place
Finn: …I’m starting to regret coming to this
Rey: Same here
Chewbacca: as am I
Poe Dameron dryly: how is this still, not even top three weirdest thing that’s happened in my life, top five, but not top three
Sara: how bad is your life where coming to a nazi Earth and having to save the son of the SECOND GOD, and the nephew of the LITERAL DEVIL, as well as meeting a bunch of people who are likely fictional if they even exist in your universe, isn’t even top three on your list and wa
Poe dryly; I died and came back to life
Sara: …so YOU’RE the guy Oliver told me about? The Name’s Sara Lance, If it’s not too much to ask, I’m curious how's the Bloodlust coming along?
Poe: …the What?
Charlotte: hi, charlotte here, we met a couple weeks ago at the multiversal bar, Poe’s wife, what the fuck is a bloodlust?
Sara: …Oliver didn’t tell you about it? It’s a side effect of being brought back via lazarus pit, And I’m guessing it hasn’t kicked in yet, otherwise you’d know what it is
Charlotte: …is this something we should be concerned about?
Sara: …we’ll see today when we break into the lab
Morgan losing her patience: sorry to interrupt, but if everyone’s done with their side conversations, maybe we can get back to the people who need saving?!
Aurora Malfoy-Black: how many people are captured here anyway?!
Morgan: twelve and we’ve only gone through seven
Sirius Malfoy-Black (111605): TWELVE PEOPLE
Morgan: Just let me get through the list PLEASE…thank you…General Remus Lupin, aka the Wolfman, one year
Sirius Black (111605), Azalea Black, Holly Weasley, and Sirius Black (62406): WOLFMAN?!?! *all trying not to laugh*
Morgan getting frustrated: C'MON
Nikki Black: there is absolutely NO WAY he approved of that codename, a name that directly makes fun of his lycanthropy
Lucifer: well on our Earth, he was cured of his Lycanthropy, similar to how Remus-62406 was and how Remus-6246 will be after going to see Holly, instead he’s like a sort of Animagus…well Tonks will definitely be happy when she awakes from her Coma
Morgan: moving on…Captain Bill Weasley, One year
Louis, Dominique Weasley, and Victoire: DAD?!
Morgan: Okay…no offense, but the next person who interrupts me before I’m finished…is getting blasted, you think I’m playing, see what happens…Zatanna Zatara, one year…Luna Longbottom, 10 months… Miles Morales aka the Second Spider-man, seven weeks…wait hang on there’s another few names…*jaw drops in shock* …Neville…I’m so sorry…
Neville: What? About Luna? this is great news! We finally found her and we’re getting her back…
Morgan: …she’s not the only one we need to get back for you…and that’s not the only thing…
Neville: …what’s that supposed to mean?
Morgan: *takes a breath* …Neville Longbottom Junior, six weeks…Pandora Alice Longbottom, six weeks…
Neville: *in tears* …Luna…she was pregnant when captured? …and she gave birth to twins?! I’m a father?!
Morgan: …not quite…
Neville: …what do you mean not quite…of course that means I’m a father, what else would that mean
Morgan: …there’s still one more name you need to hear…and Neville…I am so Sorry…*in tears*
Lucifer: what on earth is going on… *looks at the holoscreen and immediately gains a tear* …no…
Amenadiel sadly: Morgan, Lucifer, I, can handle this last one…Frank Xenophilius Longbottom–
Neville: Triplets?! Wait a moment…how do you know his name–well you’re god, but you said you couldn’t look into this place until today–I’m lost, why are you all in tears
Amenadiel: *in tears* Frank Xenophilius Longbottom…is the name of a baby who appeared in the silver city…exactly one week before today…
*silence*
Neville: *pale and in tears* …are you telling me…my baby…he–he died? At five weeks old?
Morgan: …according to this, and Amenadiel…yes…
Amenadiel: I’m sorry, but I can promise you, he is at peace, and is currently in the care of his Grandparents, up in the silver city, all four of them
Neville: *in tears* …how did it happen
Morgan: …are you sure you want to know
Neville: *in tears* How. Did. It Happen.
Morgan: *gulps* died in magical testing…apparently they were testing him to see he was magic, the head scientist in charge is was…Eobard Thawne…and they did something wrong and–
Iris in shock: but Wizards and witches don’t start showing accidental magic until they’re at least a toddler!
Morgan: ...I don’t know if they realized that that
Neville: *in tears* …so you’re telling me…THEY KILLED…MY SON?!?!
Ali under her breath: …this won’t end well
Lucifer: …Neville, I’m so sorry…I truly am…but…I don’t think you should be on this mission…
Neville: *wiping his tears* I’m sorry Lucifer, but you can derank me, kick me out of the resistance, I don’t care, but You are NOT stopping me from getting my wife and children back, not after what I just found out…if not for me…then let me do it for Frank…
Lucifer reluctantly: …fine…Major General Longbottom…you can come, BUT…*pulls out three therapy cards* I’m tripling your mandatory grief therapy sessions
Neville: …deal *takes the cards*
Deadpool: I’m with you Neville, if we see that asshole thawne… *pulls out a gun* …I’ve got a special gun that’ll make SURE this son of a bitch goes down
Morgan: alright, I’m looking at this blueprint, and what’s going on and I think I have a plan, and we have a lot of people here, so we’re splitting up into groups, alright, first things first…*goes into a drawer and pulls out a container filled with comm sets, everyone put one of these on, I have a pair in my suit, as do the others with super suits in this room from Earth-X, as well as hudson in his glasses
*everyone grabs a comms set and puts it in their ear with those with cowls lowering them briefly to put them in*
Morgan: alright…so here’s my plan, like I said, we’re splitting up into teams…Team Quarterback, Hudson, you’re in charge, and you’re being joined by Ramsey. Tej and HR
Ramsey: we’re taking orders from a twelve year old??
Roman: *Bursts into laughter*
Tej Parker: man, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me…also Roman, Shut the hell up man, I bet you that kid STILL has more brains than you do
Hudson dryly: that kid would like to remind you that he’s right here, and has an Iron gauntlet on his hand right now that he programmed, and has also designed and built several weapons in the last couple weeks, because he is a Genius
Tej: I don’t want to be rude kid, but you being your age, I’m pretty sure you don’t know the circumference of a sphere let alone–
Hudson: 2 pi times the radius of whatever sphere you’re trying to figure out
Tej; …I stand corrected…
Luke Hobbs; I wouldn’t underestimate him guys, as a father myself kids are full of surprises
Mia Toretto-O’Connor: as a mother to two kids, I second that
Hudson: THANK YOU
HR: well this ought to interesting
Morgan: Alright, now Doctor, is there anyone in this room other than you who knows how to fly the Tardis, that is who you Trust to pilot the Tardis?
The Doctor: I suppose Hank could fly it
Morgan: great, because considering you know more about the daleks then anyone else, and your granddaughter is in here, we’ll need you in there with us, now team Tardis, Beast, Caitlin, Adelynn-X, Louis, Chloe, the five of you will stay in the Tardis while the rest of us are in the field, Beast, you be ready to go just in case if we need a quick escape, Caitlin, you’re there in case of any extra immediate medical attention is needed when we get back, and Adelynn-X, and Jonah, Louis, and Chloe, you four are backup in case if someone tries to attack the Tardis, That is our getaway, if they break into the Tardis and take it over, that’s it, game over
Sheriff Jonah Hex: understood, I’ll make sure to be at the ready
Morgan: alright, now for our field teams…Team one will consist of Agents Thunderbird and Diamond, Lucifer, Amenadiel, Remiel, and Hobbs, the six of you will be breaking in to save charlie, Lucifer you’re obviously heading that team
Hobbs: Quick Question…who the hell are Agents Thunderbird and Diamond, and who the hell is Remiel?
Lucifer: okay, right, so brief introductions for the newbies, for those who haven’t met them, Kara Zor-El or Supergirl of Earth-Prime is the one with the cape, and next to her we have Sara Lance aka the white Canary, also the Earth-Prime version, then Agent Diamond is the codename for Evelyn Tveit, the one with the spear is me and Amenadiel’s little sister, Remiel, the Silver City’s and agent Thunderbird Codename for the Secret Agent, Aaron Tveit, that last part can’t leave this room by the way
Victoire: YOU’RE A SPY?!
Aaron: yes…
Hudson groaning: FUUUUUUUCK
*silence as most of the room just stares at him in shock because they just heard a 12 year old drop an F bomb*
Deadpool jokingly: damn that kid knows how to use his no-no words
Hudson bluntly: I grew up with my mom, aunt ev, and have miss stark as a mentor AND was practically raised in the theater department, of course I know how to swear
Evelyn confused: …okay but WHY did you just randomly drop an F Bomb?
Hudson: …for a reason I’ll explain to you and uncle A, AFTER the mission is done
Aaron confused: okay then?
Morgan: alright, moving on…field team 2…The Doctor, Kurt, Jaime, Teddy, and Victoire, your mission is getting back Lieutenant Susan Foreman, Doctor, you’re heading that team
The Doctor: understood
Morgan: Echo, you’re heading up team 3, going after Commander fives, Rex, Cody, Adelynn-111605, and Obi-Wan, you’re joining him
Rex: anything for a vod, in any universe
Adelynn (111605): right…
Morgan: Alright, now the team 4, going after Sgt. Johnny Blaze is, Loki, Brian, Mia, Barry, and Rey…and when I say Rey I mean the Jedi, also Barry, you’re in charge of that team
Rey: got it
Morgan: team 5 going after Captain Hal Jordan, Ray, the Atom to be clear, Remy, Cisco, Kate and Scott, Cisco, you’re running point
Cisco: alright, I think I can do that
Remy: WOOweabouttomakeanameforourselves
Deadpool: …that was a reference to me and Logan’s movie, now on disney+…CAN YOU BREAK THE FOURTH WALL NOW REMY?!?!
Remy: …what?
Deadpool: Dammit, it was a one time thing
Morgan: team six, Aurora, you’re in charge, going with you we’ve got, Frost, Azalea, Clint, and Rosie, and you’re mission is saving Robert “Bobby” Drake aka Iceman
Barry: got it
Clint slowly: …why is he called iceman?
Lucifer innocently: you’ll see
Morgan: Team 7, Martin and Jax, Nora, Bart, Snart, and Dick, you’re all going after Wally West, Snart–
Snart: I’m in charge? Got it
Morgan: Nikki, Chewie, Finn, Roman you all are coming with me to bring back General Lupin
Roman dryly: who died and put you in charge of making this plan anyway??
Lucifer: not dead, but I did, considering in addition to being head of R&D, the Iron Maiden, and a General, she’s one of our best strategists that we’ve got in the resistance
Morgan: now, Cal, Kara, Dominique, Holly, and the older of the two george’s, you’re going after Captain Bill Weasley, Cal
Cal: I’m in charge?
Morgan: yep, Charlotte, Poe, Ben, John, Sara and Han, you’re going after Zatana Zatara, Constantine’s in charge
Constantine; that tracks
Morgan; Peter, Gisele, Padme, Lily Luna, and Quill, you’re going after Agent Morales, Padme, you’re in charge
Anakin bluntly: that makes sense
Morgan; Neville, Ali, Iris, Aidan, and I’m sorry, but Wade, you’re all going after the rest of the Longbottom Family, Iris, you’re in charge
Neville; understood…*under his breath* …I’m coming Luna…
James Sirius slowly: uhhhh, not to be a bother, but you forgot about a considerable amount of people
Morgan: …Oh, but I didn’t…but first *tosses George-111605 a ring* there’s your new speedster ring George
Allana Cheerfully: FANCY SPANDEX!!
George (111605), Aidan, Morgan, Bart, Hudson, Nora, Cisco, and Barry: IT’S NOT SPANDEX
Lily Luna: You mean you skipped them on purpose?
Morgan: I did…Anakin, James Sirius, Percy, Allana, Speedster George, and the Siriuses…everyone…say hello to our distraction team
Everyone not on the distraction team: Oh god…
Lucifer: I would say I almost feel bad for the Nazis, but after what we just found out, I definitely don’t
Morgan: *pointing to a door* now, that’s the maintenance door, Doctor, that’s where you’re piloting the Tardis, because that’s our way in, it’s the least guarded entrance, from there in that’s where we split up, they have a whole magic wing with different specialized rooms, after we get through the maintenance corridor, everyone who’s going after a wizard or someone with magic, you’re making a right, everyone else, makes a left, to a corridor where they have some of the other specialized rooms, from there hudson and the rest of team quarterback will be guiding us through the building, we all meet back at the maintenance corridor, Distraction team, you all stay outside the building, do anything you can to draw their attention, but if you have to, make a run back to the Tardis, any questions about the plan?
*silence*
Morgan: Good, now lets get out of here, *pulls out the flashdrive from the cyber desk and hands it to hudson* Team Quarterback, Hudson will take you back to the lab where you’ll be able to monitor and hack into the security cameras, now everyone who hasn’t already, suit up
*all of the speedsters run into their supersuits*
Allana: *looking at george’s new speed suit* …huh…the cowl is definitely new…it doesn’t look that bad
Morgan; *activates her iron maiden armor*
Ray: *pulls out a small case then from the case pulls out what looks like a small action figure* Activate Atom suit
*the suit flies out of his hand, grows to normal size as it flies onto his body*
Scott: *taps his chest causing for his Ant-Man Suit to appear around him*
Quill: *activates his Star-Lord helmet*
Aaron: uhh, morgan, you still have my–
Morgan; Mask? Hudson, if you could?
Hudson: okay, now it makes sense why you had me bring this, here you go uncle A *pulls out what like an earpiece and hands it to him
Evelyn: I’m sorry, you have a mask??
Aaron: …sort of? You’ll see *puts the earpiece on the ear without the comm in it as he then double taps it causing for a sort of holographic visor to form around his eyes that give the appearance that it’s made of lightning, and all of a sudden Aaron’s hair is slicked back and his eyes are a different color*
Evelyn: I–You–HOW COME THE REST OF US DON’T GET THOSE?!?! Also what’s with the lightning?
Morgan: well, even though I only just found out who agent thunderbird was recently, and I’ve been fixing and making his mask for years, and what I found out, is that my dad, General Tony Stark, actually made the original Thunderbird Mask, so apparently he didn’t know that it was a Grease reference, so he decided to focus on the Thunder part of the name when designing the mask, so I kind of just kept up the tradition
Lucifer: and to answer your question, all of the Luci’s angels have specialized masks
Evelyn: then make ME an Angel
Lucifer: I would, but it’s too well known within the base already that you’re a spy
Evelyn; dammit…well can I at least get a mask like THAT?!
Lucifer: …Morgan?
Morgan: …meet with me and Hudson in my lab sometime tomorrow, I have some ideas
Hudson: yeah, I think I have some Ideas too that we can work with
Evelyn: YES
Remiel dryly: can we get back to the reason why me and Amenadiel are here in the first place
Lucifer; right, everyone besides team quarterback, follow the Doctor to the Tardis *they all leave to the hanger*
Hudson: alright, that just leaves team quarterback, Ramsey, Tej, HR, follow me to the lab *the four of them leave*
*in Morgan’s lab*
Hudson: *plugs in the flashdrive activating the holo-blueprints, and locks the lab door* Charles link to Morgan’s Lab
*all of a sudden they see a hologram of a man appear*
C.H.A.R.L.E.S: What’s going on Hudson
Hudson: alright Charles, I need you activate the monitor wall
*all of a sudden they see a wall of monitors come out of the ground*
Tej: damn that’s cool…
Hudson: alright, Charles, could you Hack the security cameras put them up on the wall and deactivate the alarms in Nazi Lab 36-B
Charles: I’m on it, aaaand done, we can now see what’s going on there and as for their security feeds they’ll be seeing a looped feed *suddenly they all see the security footage on the monitor wall, each monitor having four different cameras*
Hudson: Great, now I need you to split up our comm links, do you have the list of teams given by Miss Stark?
Charles: I do
Hudson: good
Tej not really quietly: are we really about to take orders from a ten year old
Hudson dryly: you suck as whispering you know that tej? And I’m TWELVE not ten
Ramsey: *snorts*
Hudson: and keep in mind this twelve year old has a fully functioning iron gauntlet that he repurposed and reprogrammed himself, so I CAN blast you
Tej: …right…
Hudson: alright, Tej, you’re getting the groups saving after Lieutenant Foreman, Iceman, and Zatanna, Ramsey, you’re getting the ones going after Commander Fives, Spider-Man, and the Longbottom Family
Ramsey: on it boss
Hudson: HR, you have the groups going after Ghost Rider, Green Lantern, and Captain Bill Weasley
HR: So most of the cool ones, got it, but quick question, how did they capture someone named GHOST RIDER
Hudson: …that’s honestly a good question let’s see…*looks at what’s on the flashdrive back on the cyberdesk* …huh, apparently in his actual Ghost Rider form, he can’t be hurt by most things however he CAN be hurt with angelic weapons or weapons made from celestial steel…or angels…as well as be imprisoned by chains made of celestial steel, that force him to stay in his regular mortal form as Sargent Johnny Blaze
HR: wow…that’s definitely something, and I have to say you’re quite marvelous at delegating for a kid your age
Hudson: THANK YOU *innocently* you see Tej, that’s how you properly show respect someone, feel free to take notes
Ramsey: *snorts*
Tej: man, shut it
Hudson: *innocently* *sighs* I guess you didn’t learn anything from HR… oh and finally, I have the groups getting General Charlie Martin, Kid Flash, and General Remus Lupin aka WolfMan, Charles did you get all that?
Charles: all good Hud
HR: Honestly, who picked that name Wolfman, that honestly sounds like it would be derogatory towards werewolves
Hudson: from what I heard, his friends gave him the name after he was cured, and I mean…he’s technically a werewolf still, but he’s not REALLY a werewolf anymore, he’s more like an Animagus slash metamorphmagus
Tej: A metamorpha-what Now?
Hudson: …so you know how the Siriuses can all transform into a dog?
Tej: Yeah?’
Hudson: similar to that, only they’re born with the ability to transform into anything instead of one specific animal, it’s a rare wizard ability
Tej: huh…
Hudson: alright, we see all the monitors, each monitor covers four different cameras in the building, find your people, keep track of them and do what you can to guide them to their guys, or girls, or nonbinary person that they’re going to find
HR: I’m on it…hey, any chance you have any Coffee?
Hudson: we have a coffee maker in the breakroom through that door *gesturing to the door*, but I have to ask Miss Stark if you can have any of it, even though I don’t drink coffee, I’ve seen she can sometimes get stingy with her coffee, and gets REALLY mad when someone else uses it without asking *taps his sunglasses* Charles, contact Friday and ask her to ask Miss Stark if HR can get some coffee
Charles: I’m on it Hud…she said yes, but there’s a two cup cutoff, also to let you know that they just got to the Tardis in the Hangar and they’ll be leaving soon
Hudson: alright, you heard Charles, be quick
HR: *leaves to the Breakroom*
Hudson: well this ought to be interesting
*the Hangar*
Sara: alright, where's our ship?
The Doctor: why, right there of course! *walking towards the blue phone booth* isn’t she beautiful!
Sara: …you mean to tell me, you’re going to fit a little over 70 people…in THAT?! That looks like it wouldn’t even fit 7 people let alone SEVENTY
Louis excited: Oh Don’t worry, we’ll fit
The Doctor: *pulls out his key and flings the doors open*
Kara: okay, this is SO cool
Louis and Teddy: I KNOW!!
Dick: confused; okay, what’s up with you three, you’re practically bouncing with excitement…and all just for a Blue Box?
The Doctor, Louis, Teddy, Cisco, and Kara: IT IS A TARDIS
The Doctor: although it is a blue box, but it is so much more than JUST a blue box, as you’ll see, as you follow me inside
Sara: honestly, I don’t see the excitement
Kara: *blushing slightly* okay, admittedly I am KIND OF a nerd, so getting to see this is really cool
Victoire: yeah, and Ted, and Louis, are the two biggest Doctor who fans in our family
The Doctor: right, good to know, now if you could all follow me *walks into the tardis*
*they all walk in with many in awe about how it looks in on the inside *
Teddy: Louis, you’re seeing this too, right?
Louis: yeah, I am, we’re ACTUALLY inside the Tardis
Sara: bu–HOW
Chloe slowly in shock: It’s bigger on the inside
Louis practically bouncing in excitement: MHMM!
Teddy: SHE SAID IT!! *hi-fiving louis*
Chloe: …Louis, you might need to show me this TV show so I can understand some of this
Louis a little surprised: uh–Sure!
The Doctor: now, everyone hold on, and I highly advise on not straying to far from the console room if you can help it
Louis: he’s right, it’s like a labyrinth in here if you go too far
Chloe: again, definitely going to need to see this show
Dominique: HA, good luck with that, that show was so fucking complicated I gave up after season 2
Louis; *somewhat dry* Don’t listen to Dom, admittedly the show does take a little bit of thinking, and is a complicated and convoluted show, but that’s what makes it beautiful plus you were in ravenclaw, and one of the top students in our house I know for a fact you have enough brains to understand this
Chloe slowly: okay…
Doctor: alright, we’re taking off in three…two…one! *pulls a lever as the tardis makes a loud whooshing sound* alright, we’re in the vortex, it’ll be a couple minutes until we actually get there
Neville under his breath: hold on just a little longer Luna, we’re coming…
Deadpool: hang on! Really?! A two parter?! BOOOOOO
Kate slowly: what are you talking about?
Deadpool: ah forget it, you wouldn’t understand, it’s a fourth wall thing, but basically the readers, or should I say READER, because our writer only has one consistent reader as of when they originally had written this line, is going to end up having to wait a while before actually seeing us save the people we’re going to save
Almost Everyone in the room confused: …what??
Deadpool: ah fuck it, just forget about it, we’ll just fucking see you next time
Notes:
That's right, MORE character introductions, next chapter, you'll see our heroes breaking into the Lab to rescue those being held captive, but until then, this has been a Padjake Written story, now, Mischief Managed.
Chapter 11: Lab Break (II)
Notes:
Alright as the title implies, this is the second part of this little Lab Break incident where you'll actually SEE the break-in to the lab where Resistance members are being held hostage. and as always all OCs (except for Steve) Belong to @wifeofenjolras who you can find on Wattpad, now, on with the chapter! (also trigger warning there are depictions of sexism in this chapter)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
*Earth-X, The Tardis*
The Doctor: *pulls a lever on the console* Hank if you could–
Beast: *pulls a lever on the other side of the console*
The Doctor: thanks for that, alright, we’re just outside the maintenance door, everybody who’s not staying out of the Tardis
*they all start making their way out of the Tardis*
*Earth-X, Morgan’s Lab*
HR: *walking back from the breakroom* I’m back with Cofeeee *taking a sip of coffee and sighs*
Hudson: I’m guessing you’re a coffee addict?
HR: Guilty! *laughs* but only because coffee beans on my original home earth, Earth-19–
Hudson: the one where my aunt and uncle were vice president and second lady?
HR: yes, and on that earth Coffee beans have been wiped out for years by the blight
Hudson: …the What??
HR: it’s a long story, so, what’d I miss *sipping his coffee*
Hudson: Not much, from what it looks like, the Tardis just appeared outside the maintenance door, and they’re heading in now, alright guys, it’s time to get to work, because they’re going in now, double tap your comms if you need to switch lines…
Evelyn over comms: alright Hudson, talk to me, where are we going?
Hudson: alright, from where you are now, General Charlie Martin’s containment cell is one of the farther ones, alright, you’re going to keep going down the way you’re going, then make two rights, then a left, then another right, then one last left, then it’ll be the last door on your left, fair warning, there are a couple of soldiers
Morgan: got it
Ray over comms: Hudson?
HR: Actually this is HR, I’m going to be the one handling your group today
Cisco over comms: alright then HR, where are we going?
HR: make a left and a right–scratch that Two lefts then a right, third door on the left–I mean right, just so you know there are soldiers and daleks in some of those halls
Cisco: thanks HR
The Doctor over comms: Hello? Who is it I’m talking to?
Tej: This is Tej you got handling your group today
The Doctor over comms: Alright then, Tej, Where are we going?
Tej: Follow the group going after Lucifer’s nephew, except when they make their second right, you’re going to make a left, then from there on you’re making two lefts, then a right, and it’ll be the first door on the right,
The Doctor over comms: Brilliant, Thank you Tej
Echo over comms; Is this hudson over comms?
Ramsey: nope, you’ve got ramsey
Echo: alright, then, where are we going Ramsey?
Ramsey: follow the groups going after Lucifer’s nephew and The Doctor’s Granddaughter, but when they try to go right, make a left, then make a two more lefts than a right, third door on the right
Echo; thanks rams
*with The Doctor, Kurt, Jaime, Teddy, and Victoire*
The Doctor: *deactivating flying monkeys that are coming at him*
Jaime; UGH *dodging blasts from a dalek* WHY DO THESE THINGS HATE US
The Doctor: it’s ME they hate, I only pray that They don’t know who Susan Really is, because if Davros realized she was the susan he met all those years ago, I can’t even imagine what he’d do
Kurt: right, but what did you do to THEM *slashing at a nazi soldier with one of his swords*
The Doctor: I am the last surviving timelord, aside from Susan, Daleks and Kaleds have always hated the time lords, it was the whole reason for the time war…well the great time war happened more so because the Daleks saw ME as dangerous, for stopping their takeovers of other worlds
Teddy: *sees the Dalek aiming its gunstick at victoire* …VIC LOOKOUT!! BOMBARDA!! *blows up the dalek, taking out the surrounding nazis*
Kurt: may god rest all of their souls
Victoire: *sighs in relief* Thanks Ted
Jaime: we’re here…how do we get in
The Doctor: I’ve got this *goes to the door and uses his sonic screwdriver to unlock it, then opens the door* Here we go…*walks into the room only for there to be another door, and on it, it reads Lt. Susan Foreman*
The Doctor: …Here she is…*is about to unlock the next door, then freezes*
Kurt: …are you alright Doctor?
The Doctor: …yes, it’s just…I haven’t seen her in decades…I’m not even sure what I’ll say once I see her again, and in the state she’s likely in, what she must think of me, she probably thinks I’ve abandoned her
Kurt: She’s your granddaughter, she’ll likely just be happy that you’ve finally found her
The Doctor: I hope you’re right…thank you, Kurt *unlocks and opens the door where they see a woman seemingly in her mid-twenties, in an orange jumpsuit sitting on a small medical bed in a small room all with plain white padded walls*
Lt. Susan Foreman singing to herself while staring at the ground: … Take my hand, take my whole life too,,,
The Doctor softly: *smiling somewhat sadly* … For I can’t help falling in love with you…
Susan looking up while still singing and the the Doctor singing along: … For I…Can’t help…falling in love…with…youuuuu
Susan: huh…it’s not often I meet a nazi who sings along with me…
The Doctor softly: *sits down next to her* It was my Granddaughter’s favorite song…are you Susan Foreman?
Susan: I am…I’m guessing it’s time for testing again?
The Doctor: it’s not…you see, we’re not with the Nazis
Susan: Then how did you get in here? And why are you here?
The Doctor: we’re here to get you out of here, we’re with the resistance, and as for how we got here, we used a couple things you might be familiar with *pulls out his sonic screwdriver and has it make a light humming sound*
Susan: *eyes widening in slight tears realizing who he is* …Grandfather??
The Doctor: …yes Susan, it’s me
Susan: *Hugs him in tears* You finally found me…
The Doctor: *hugging back* I did, and Susan, these are some friends of mine, Teddy and Victoire Lupin from Earth-62406, Jaime Reyes also known as the Blue Beetle from Earth-4321, and Father Kurt Wagner aka Nightcrawler
Susan: *snorts weakly* So Lucifer finally got involved with the Multiverse then?
The Doctor: *laughs softly* yes, yes he did
Susan: …You have a new face! You look so much younger than you did back then
The Doctor: yes, I know
Susan: how many regenerations does this make?
The Doctor: This is my eleventh Incarnation since earth, or twelfth technically speaking, it’s a long story and I see you have a new face as well, you
Susan: this is my…eighth incarnation since earth… a newer one that happened a couple days ago
The Doctor: You've had seven regenerations across seventy years??
Susan: yes…*frowning sadly with tears in her eyes, remembering what she had to do* every decade or so they have me do a “Forced” regeneration
The Doctor: B–but that’s impossible, only time lord technology could perform a Forced Regeneration
Susan: not exactly as I found out…it’s just the other way, is a bit more…barbaric
The Doctor hoping he’s wrong: how??
Susan: They’ve killed me– or dealt me a lethal attack, torturing me in extremely painful ways…six different times…
Victoire in shock: oh merlin…
Jaime in shock: oh…even by nazi standards that’s just–
Teddy in shock: absolute torture…
The Doctor: *taps his comm* Tej, is there any chance you heard any of that?
Tej over comms: yeah, we heard, that is some fucked up shit
The Doctor: agreed, now, I need you to patch me through to everyone else who came with us today
Tej over comms: yeah, I’m on it…
Susan slowly: Grandfather…what’re you doing?
The Doctor: I think you know what I’m doing susan, because I’m sorry to have to tell you, your grandfather hasn’t changed much in the last thirty years since returning to earth
Susan: …I thought you said it’s been seventy years?
The Doctor: it’s a long story
Tej over comms: You’re on
The doctor: for those listening, when this is over, I will not ask you to come back here, but those who do, I will be forever grateful, because sometime after we bring back every prisoner who was kept in this base, I’m coming back here and Burning this place to the ground
Susan: ……this won’t end well, will it?
The Doctor: For the people who’ve been keeping you here, no, no it won’t…
Victoire quietly to Teddy: …Teddy, I thought you guys said the Doctor is a man of peace?
Teddy quietly: he is, normally…that is unless someone does something that makes him think that they deserve violence or suffering, which normally it’s very hard to do…but I guess torturing his granddaughter for seventy years would definitely do it…
Susan: wait, before we do whatever it is you’re planning, we need to save the other people in here
Jaime: don’t worry, we have a bunch of different teams out to work on rescuing the others
Susan: okay, then there’s one things we need to get first before we leave, and wait…there’s one person we CANNOT under any circumstances leave without
The Doctor: and who is that?
Susan: …Charlie Martin
The Doctor: don’t worry, Lucifer, and Charlie’s father are going after him
Susan: okay, there’s one thing I need you to help me get before we leave, and then I need you to take me to him…please, Grandfather
The Doctor slowly: …why is that?
Susan: because grandfather…I’m in love…
*with Lucifer, Amenadiel, Remiel, Evelyn, Aaron, and Hobbs*
Aaron: *firing his new thundergun shooting what looks like bolts of lightning at nazis*
Evelyn: That’s your gun?!?!
Aaron: yeah! Morgan gave it to me recently, apparently hudson helped to build it
Evelyn: *firing her diamond gun* damn…he really IS good with tech
Aaron: I know, RIGHT?!
Hobbs: *firing his blaster rifle*
Lucifer: *using his cane to block a lightsaber attack from a nazi sithling*
Remiel: *stabs the nazi sithling from behind with her spear*
Lucifer: Thanks for the assist sister
Amenadiel: …wait I just thought of something that would’ve made this much easier… *positions his hand flat up and closes his eyes as all of a sudden everyone but Lucifer, Amenadiel, and Remiel appear frozen*
Lucifer: really brother? You waited until NOW to reveal the fact you have your old angel power back?
Remiel: well this should make things easier
*they go around and all deal blows to the frozen nazis*
Amenadiel: alright and…now *unfreezes time*
*all of a sudden all of the soldiers in the corridor all fall either due to being knocked unconsious or now being dead*
Hobbs: …what the hell just happened??
Evelyn slowly: good question
Amenadiel: I froze mortal time and me and my siblings handled it
Hobbs: …so what you’re telling me…you could’ve done this this whole fucking time??
Amenadiel: Hey, this is the longest I’ve been in angel for the last forty years, I forgot!
Aaron: …moving on…
Remiel: …I think we’re close…I can smell him…
Evelyn confused: what do you mean you can SMELL him???
Remiel: the ability to track with smell is one of my abilities as the angel of the hunt, and Nephilims have a VERY unique scent
Evelyn: …huh…
Lucifer; yes, we’re here… *looks at the door labeled Charlie Martin on it and tries to open the door* it’s locked…
Remiel: stand aside brother, I think I know how to get the door open
Lucifer: alright…*moves back a little*
Remiel: *with full angel strength uses her spear to knock the handle off*
Lucifer dryly: Had I known you were going to do that, we could’ve just ripped it off with our hands, you didn’t need to be so aggro Remi
Remiel: I got it open didn’t I? *opens the door to a dark room*
Amenadiel: here we go…
*they walk in and the lights activate as the then see a man, in a robe similar to amenadiel’s, appearing to be in his twenties chained to a wall, asleep*
Amenadiel and Lucifer panicking: CHARLIE *they both rush over to him then realize he’s just asleep*
Lucifer: *sighs in relief* he’s just sleeping…
Evelyn: …how though?!?!
Amenadiel: *sighs sadly as he then gently shakes Charlie*
General Charlie Martin waking up: Wh–what’s going o–*sees Lucifer and Amenadiel* DAD!! UNCLE LUCI!! I KNEW you’d find me someday! *sees Remiel* and you brought Aunt Remi!
Remiel: *smiles slightly* Hey there, kid
Aaron: …sorry to interrupt the moment but…out of curiosity, How did you sleep like that?!?!
Evelyn: THANK YOU
Charlie: …years, and years, of adjustment
Amenadiel: alright, let’s cut you free, Remiel if you could?
Charlie: I’ve already tried breaking free, it’s celestial steel chains
Amenadiel: you see, Remiel has a celestial spearhead which can cut Through Celestial steel when combined with angel strength
Charlie: Wait…you mean–
Lucifer: yes Charlie, you’re coming home
Remiel: alright let’s get you down…*uses the spear to cut the chains dropping him to the ground*
Charlie: *gets up and stretches* oh thank dad, that feels SO much better, and not with my arms forced behind my back this time!
Amenadiel sadly: …I’m so Sorry it took this long to find you son
Charlie: I understand dad…I know you, mom, and uncle Luci did everything you could, I can’t wait to see mom again too
Lucifer: …about that…your mom…she…she passed on…
Amenadiel: don’t worry, she’s up in the silver city, and you can visit me and her any time you want now that you’re free, or even move up to the silver city permanently with me, your mom, your aunt Remi, your cousin ‘rory, and your Aunt Chloe
Charlie: …did you just say ‘Rory and Aunt Chloe?
Amenadiel slowly realizes: …I did…
Charlie: …how…how did it happen
Lucifer dryly: the handiwork of your least favorite uncle
Charlie dryly: uncle Michael?
Lucifer dully: yep
Charlie dryly: of course it’s FUCKING UNCLE MICHAEL
Lucifer: oh wow that got a strong reaction, you almost never swear
Charlie: considering he’s the reason my aunt and cousin died, and why I’ve been locked up for the last forty years I think it’s fair
Lucifer: …Touche…well lucky for you, me, constantine, and Morgan made sure he got what what was coming to him
Charlie: …you and who?
Lucifer: right…John Constantine, current head of Resistance Magical Defense, you might’ve met him briefly before your capture, I could be wrong on that, but if not you’ll meet him later, he’s great, and Morgan Stark–
Charlie: as in Howard and Tony–
Lucifer: Howard’s Granddaughter and Tony’s daughter from the future
Charlie: She time traveled?!
Lucifer: as well as Nora and Bart West-Allen and Cal Kestis
Charlie: …as in Barry Allen and Iris West’s kids??
Lucifer: yes–wait how did you know about that, you were captured when Barry and Iris were babies
Charlie: I became friends with Wally West, Iris’ younger brother while in here…wait… WALLY! SUSAN! We NEED to Free them! And All the others!
Lucifer: don’t worry there are teams going to free them…
Charlie: alright…then I need you to take me somewhere
Amenadiel: …and where is that exactly?
Charlie: I need you to take me to the confiscation room, knowing susan, there’s a couple of things they confiscated from her back when she was first captured in the early fifties that she wouldn’t even THINK about leaving without, and I need to see her as soon as possible
Amenadiel: …I don’t know, we’re supposed to meet at the rendezvous point as soon as we could get there
Charlie: please father, I need to see her
Amenadiel: …Why?
Charlie: because father…I’m in love…
Amenadiel, Lucifer, and Remiel: WHAT?!?!
Evelyn: …well that took a turn that I didn’t see coming
*with Barry, Loki, Brian, Mia, Rey*
Rey: *slashing a Dalek in half* I was really hoping not to have to fight these things again
Mia: What even ARE these things *blasting a dalek with her set of iron gauntlets*
Brian: that’s right, you weren’t there at the beach, they’re called daleks *firing his nanite gun at Nazi soldiers*
Loki: *using his scepter to put Nazis to sleep*
Barry: *speed punching nazis runs around the corridor knocking them all out then throws a lightning bolt at the last dalek* alright, now to get into his room… *uses a speedster shock to unlock the door as they then see a man appearing to be in his mid-forties*
Sgt. Johnny Blaze/Ghost Rider: *sitting up* thank GOD, please tell me it’s time for group study again, I’ve been up for the last hour, and need to stretch my legs
Brian: better, you’re getting Jailbroken
Johnny Blaze slowly: …well I’ll be damned, It’s been a while, Loki, Allen, so I’m guessing Lucifer finally got Loki to officially join the resistance
Barry: also I’m not YOUR earth’s Barry Allen, I’m not from this universe, but we’re here, Lucifer and a couple other resistance members here to free you and everyone else in here with other allies from the multiverse *vibrates his hands fast enough to phase the cuffs through Johnny’s wrists*
Johnny: impressive, so you’re like Garrick now, and West…wanna see a trick of my own…alright buddy, it’s your time to shine *all of a sudden his head catches fire and he appears to turn into a skeleton*
Brian, Mia, Rey: AHHHHH
Rey: What the hell did THAT to you?!
Brian: yeah, Johnny, even with all the things I’ve seen I have to admit that’s definitely…something…
Ghost Rider: …the Name’s not Johnny, I am the Ghost Rider, Johnny’s taking the backseat for now since I haven’t been out in twenty years
Mia: okay, definitely on the list of top ten craziest things i’ve seen
Brian: yeah, I’ve seen someone catch fire before since joining you guys, but looking like freaking SKELETOR is new
Ghost Rider: …Johnny says to tell you that was his response when he first turned into me
Barry: okay, cool, so you DO have He-Man here
Ghost Rider: now, let’s get the hell out of here, but first we need to stop by the confiscation room, there’s a couple of things I’m going to need first before we escape
Mia: what’re we talking about here, what things?
Ghost Rider: you’ll see when we get there
*all of a sudden they hear the doctor over comms*
The Doctor over comms: yes, hello, can everybody hear me?
Lucifer over comms; yes we hear you Doctor, what’s going on?
The Doctor: for those listening, when this is over, I will not ask you to come back here, but those who do, I will be forever grateful, because sometime after we bring back every prisoner who was kept in this base, I’m coming back here and Burning this place to the ground
Loki: …bloody hell…Ghost Rider, any chance you know a woman named susan foreman?
Ghost Rider: yeah, she’s the girlfriend of Johnny’s prison friend Charlie
Brian: WHOA, Lucifer’s nephew and the Doctor’s granddaughter are dating??
Ghost Rider: hold up…she’s the granddaughter of the Doctor??
Barry: yeah…
Ghost rider: well shit…Johnny knew about how she was a time lord considering that she’s died six times while in here apparently, and regenerated each time with a different face, but we didn’t know about her family ties with the doctor…
Brian: She WHAT?!
Mia: …I’m coming back with the Doctor
Ghost Rider: What about the doctor?
Brian: he said after we get you all to the tardis and back to base, he’s coming back and making sure this place is burned to the ground
Ghost Rider: oh HELL YEAH, count me in, me and Johnny have been wanting to do that for fifteen years
Barry: Oh boy…
*with Ray, Remy, Cisco, Kate, and Scott*
Ray: *firing electric pulses from his suit at a dalek* you know I really wish we didn’t have to destroy these, I really wish we could study them
Cisco: trust me man *vibe blasting another dalek* you don’t want to study these things I’ve watched enough doctor who to these things suck
Kate: *shoots an explosive arrow at one dalek* oh DEFINITELY
Remy: *throwing cards and blowing up the fourth dalek* Mais, who even thought deese things would be a good idea to create
Scott: *using his lightsaber to deflect a spell back at a nazi soldier that disarms them, as he shrinks down, then pops back up and knocks him out* alright, I think we’re good
Remy: …but how do we get in?
Cisco: Ray?
Ray: yep, let’s do this *pries open a panel in the wall*
Cisco: Now if we rewire the circuitry here *messing with the circuits in the panel*
Ray: while deactivating this one with the Alarm trigger *messing with the circuits in the panel*
Cisco: we should be able to…*they hear the door unlock* BOOM
Kate; *opens the door* well damn…
*Cisco and Ray fist bump*
Cisco: Oh thank god, you upgraded to softer gloves
Ray: yep!
Scott: thank god we didn’t have to go to plan B
*they walk into the dark room as the lights turn on as the see a man in a bed in bed, appearing to be in his mid thirties, in an orange jumpsuit*
Hal Jordan/Green Lantern: *sees them all and recognizes Remy, Scott and Ray* and the Cavalry has arrived! *gets up* It’s about time you guys jailbroke me…wait a second…Cisco?? You broke free of the mind control?!
Cisco: not exactly…I’m his Earth-Prime Doppelganger
Hal: …Lucifer brought over a Cisco doppelganger…well I guess that’s on brand
Ray: I think you’re not understanding, none of us are resistance members, we’re all members of a team Lucifer is part of called the multiversal guardians, we came here as a favor to Lucifer after everything he’s done to help us
Hal: So Lucifer's gotten INVOLVED INVOLVED with multiverse issues now? Damn…
Ray: yes, he has, and because of it, now we’re all friends with him
Hal: good, since you’re all such good friends with lucifer, is there any chance you could help me get something before we break out
Scott: What do you mean get something before we break out, what did they take?
Hal: the very thing that gives me my powers, my lantern ring, I would just say the words to get it to fly to me right now, however it’s in a locked room with a specialized metal door, otherwise I’d have broken out by now
Kate: yeah, we probably should get that back…whatever it is
Ray: the ring that lets deadpool create light constructs
Hal: I’m sorry WADE WILSON HAS A LANTERN RING?!?!
Cisco: Earth-infinity’s version does
Hal: …I am SO sorry for all of you who’ve had to deal with him
Scott: yeah, thanks for that…so what’s your deadpool nickname?
Hal dryly: Lite-Brite, you guys?
Remy: sha, I’ve known him for a while now so I don’t think I got one that bad…the nickname’s cajun
Ray awkwardly: …okay, in my defense mine isn’t that bad…
Scott dryly: yeah because you nickname is the “The Cooler Ant-Man”
Ray: I mean, I don’t think it’s true
Scott: …moving on…
Kate dryly: Tauriel
Scott dryly: pissant
Cisco dryly: human vibrator
Hal: Ouch, I think you got the worst one I’ve heard
Cisco dryly: you think?
Hal: alright, but now we gotta get to the confiscation room to get that ring back…
*all of a sudden they hear the doctor over comms*
*with Echo, Rex, Cody, Adelynn (111605), and Obi-Wan*
Echo: well that was easy…why was that so easy for us…
Adelynn (111605): we have three vod and two jedi masters with two of the vod having magic, I’d be concerned if it wasn’t easy…although this part might be less easy *tries to use the force to unlock the door* …it didn’t work
Echo: Ramsey? Is there a chance you guys can hack into the system and remotely unlock the door
Ramsey over comms: we can definitely try…and you’re good, according to their systems, they accidentally left the door unlocked
Obi Wan suspicious: …okay, this feels like it is becoming suspiciously easy *opens the door*
Rex: c’mon now Obi-Wan, don’t be like that, now lets see how fives is doing in this universe…*they all walk into the room causing for the lights to turn on and they see a man in an orange jumpsuit, looking almost identical to echo, rex and cody, only with a brown bushy beard* walking around staring at the ground*
Echo: …Fives…
Commander Fives: *looks up immediately and sees them all* ECHO!! REX!! CODY!! GENERALS!! *runs to them all and goes to hug Echo*
Echo: it’s so good to see you again…we thought we had lost you, like the others…
Fives: It’s good to see my fellow remaining vod commanders again, and of course the Ori’vod general, and you as well General Kenobi,
Echo: …actually, it’s vod General now…
Fives: YOU THREE MADE GENERAL?! Congrats! I knew there was No WAY that Lupin guy and Lovegood, or that spider kid were right about you all being dead
Echo: …not exactly…our rex and cody…they’re gone…as is General Kenobi…our Ori’vod is back in the ship we came in, all of these four are from Coruscant-111605
Fives: oh…also I’m sorry, did you just say ship?? Are we not on earth??
Echo: we are…it’s complicated…
Fives: alright, well we need to get to the confiscation room, I think they took they took my blasters, and I’d really like those back
Echo: actually…*pulls out two twin DC-17 blaster pistols* …we recovered these from the battle we thought we had lost you in, when Morgan had told us about you being here, I knew you’d probably want them back
Fives: …thanks…so that means we can probably get out of here back to whatever ship we’re escaping in…
???: …not so fast…
*they all turn and see a short man about 3ft 9, in a suit with unruly dark hair and a goatee and suddenly fives goes pale as a ghost*
Adelynn: *bursts into laughter* A–are you kidding?? We break into their top secret lab AND THIS is who they send to come after us?!
Fives as pale as a ghost: Adelynn. Stop.
Doctor Psycho/Edgar Cizko: Oh shut the fuck up you CUNT
Echo, Rex, and Cody: WHOA
Obi Wan: HOW DARE YOU–
Adelynn darkly: …I’ve got this Ben…what did you just call me?
Doctor Psycho: the name’s Doctor Psycho, and you heard what I said, and I’ll say it again if I have to…and they sent me, because this is MY lab…and I saw your little distraction, so I figured I’d leave a door open or two so we could catch you
Adelynn: *laughing* YOU Plan to capture two jedi, a vod general, and three vod commanders? HOW?! With your stubby little legs, I bet we could just speed walk away and STILL we’d outrun you, so those are definitely big words coming from one of the seven dwarves
Doctor Psycho: …Commander fives, I believe maybe we should show your friends my specialty when it comes to… psychological experimentation
Fives: Psycho, PLEASE, I’ll do anything, just don’t make me–
Doctor Psycho: it’s DOCTOR PSYCHO…now you have your blasters back…*smirking* …even better *laughing maniacally as his eyes glow red*
Echo: what’s he talking about Five–*goes silent as his eyes glow yellow*
Rex: what the KAR–*suddenly his eyes glow yellow*
Cody: Rex, Echo, Are you guys alr– *his eyes glow yellow as he goes silent*
Fives terrified: No, NO, NO, N-NOT THEM!! NOT HER!! PLEASE, DON’T MAKE US– *goes silent as his eyes glow yellow*
Adelynn: *sticks her wand into her already ignited lightsaber* WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THEM?!
Doctor Psycho: kill the jedi, my minions
All four clones in unison: yes Doctor Psycho…
*echo ignites his lightsaber, Fives, readies his blaster, Rex pulls out a blaster and his wand, as cody does just his wand*
Adelynn: no…LET THEM GO
Doctor Psycho: sorry, that’s going to be a no…but that’s what you get for being a fucking bitch
Obi-Wan: *taps his comms* Ramsey, this is Obi-Wan, I don’t know if you can see what’s going on right now but–
Ramsey over comms: yes, we see what’s going on, Tej is already sending the group who’s going after Iceman as backup, they just found him
Adelynn: …Echo, Rex, Cody, Fives, c’mon, I know you can overpower this guy’s mind control…
Doctor Psycho: oh that’s the best part, they Can’t! Only reason why I didn’t take you two and make you rip eachother to shreds is because you’re fucking jedi who’s minds are protected by weird space magic or whatever the fuck you’ve got going on
Adelynn darkly: …you’re a karking piece of bantha poodoo, and a coward and I fucking hate you with every fiber of my goddamn being
Doctor: sticks and stones babe, but good luck not dying, from what I heard something similar happened in a lot of universes similar to yours and it didn’t end well
Adelynn darkly: call me babe, one more time and what I do to you will be ten times worse than it already will be…
*With Rosie, Frost, Azalea, Clint, and Aurora*
Frost: *freezing a dalek*
Clint: *firing an explosive arrow blowing it up*
Aurora: and that’s the last of them…now for getting in…
Clint: I’ve got this, everyone stand back from the lock panel
*they all do so*
Clint: *fires an arrow at it which lets out a small electromagnetic pulse that fries the lock panel and unlocks the door*
Rosie: Damnnnnn, how’d you do that??
Clint: mini-EMP arrow, short circuited the lock system
Azalea: nice!
Aurora: *opens the door as they go inside and see a man in a sort of red and black supersuit, with an X logo on the waist, chained to a wall with a glowing purple collar around his neck*
Robert “Bobby” Drake/Iceman: *yawns waking up from when he was sleeping a second ago* Is it time for me to finally come off of this damn wall for group study? Hold on a second…*recognizing Clint and Aurora* Clint?? Aurora?! I had heard you had Died?!
Frost: he’s not your clint, the name’s frost, I'm formerly from Earth-Infinity, now Earth-62406, Clint is from Earth-199999, me and Azalea, the older redhead, No offense Azalea–
Azalea: none taken
Frost: and Rosie, the younger redhead, are also from Earth-62406, and Aurora, the blonde, is from Earth-111605
Aurora: we’re all here to break you out, we’re friends of Lucifer’s
Bobby: That’s Great! Alright, so to break me out, all you gotta do is one simple thing…
Frost: and that is?
Bobby: you see the glowing purple collar around my neck?
Aurora: yeah, what about it?
Bobby: I need you to destroy it, do that and I can break myself out of here
Clint: How the hell are we supposed to do that without killing you?
Bobby: …I’m guessing the reason you’re called frost is because you have Ice powers?
Frost; yeah, why
Bobby: great, freeze the collar and I can break out of here
Frost: alright *puts her hand on the collar as it freezes and the light no the collar goes out*
Bobby: perfect…*all of a sudden he appears to turn completely to ice, and his chains start to freeze as he then breaks free of all of it*
Aurora in shock: WHOA, how did you–
Bobby: I’m what’s known as an Omega Level Mutant, they kept that mutant repression collar on me so they could control my powers *moving his neck around*
Frost jokingly: and I thought I was the Ice Queen
Bobby: well considering I’m not a woman I think that point still stands
Tej over comms: Hey yo guys, we’ve got a bit of a problem!
Aurora into the comms: what’s going on Tej?
Tej: adelynn’s group just ran into a problem with this weird little dwarf guy doctor psycho and he’s mind controlling Rex, Cody, Echo AND Fives to fight Adelynn and Obi-Wan, they need back-up NOW
Aurora: got it, we’re on our way
Bobby: what’s going on?
Aurora: you know commander fives?
Bobby: yeah I know him, what about him?
Aurora: well the group going to get him ran into some trouble with this guy named Doctor–
Bobby darkly: ...Psycho…
Aurora: yeah? You know him?
Bobby dryly: know him? This is the same guy who would mind control us and make us fight for amusement and call it “Experimentation”
Azalea: oh god…
Aurora: yeah, he’s doing the same thing with fives, Echo, and the cody and rex from my universe universe, and right now two jedi friends of ours are being forced to fight them
Bobby: WHAT?!?! No, no, no, no, Fives he’ll get torn apart okay, I know where his cell is, follow me *suddenly he starts to run and the ground his is running on sort of turns to ice as he then starts to skate and the others follow him*
Aurora while running: …he seemed REALLY freaking out about FIVES specifically having to fight jedi
Frost while running: okay, so I’m NOT the only one who picked up on that
Azalea while running: yeah I picked that up too
Rosie while running: well this ought to be interesting
*back in the room with Doctor Psycho, Obi Wan, Adelynn, and the vod*
Adelynn: *blocking lightsaber slashes from Echo* Echo c’mon, you’ve gotta snap out of this!
Doctor Psycho: *laughing maniacally while his eyes glow red* he can’t! It’s impossible! I’ve only ever seen ONE case of someone breaking out of my mind control, but that’s a long story I’m not fucking getting into
Obi-Wan: *blocking and dodging blaster fire and spell shots from Cody, Rex, and Fives* c’mon now cody, you and I fought through the clone wars together, you were my commander, Rex you were adelynn’s, you were two of the only two people to know early on about Hope and hadrian being our actual children, PLEASE you have to stop this
*the three clones keep blasting mindlessly at Obi-Wan while their eyes remain yellow
*just then Bobby skates in and ice blasts Doctor Psycho freezing his body to a wall
Doctor Psycho: *smirking while frozen to the wall* Hello Iceman…you’re here just in time to help kill your boyfriend *laughing as he’s about to take control of Bobby*
Adelynn in slight shock: Wait BOYFRIEND?!?!
Bobby: NO
Aurora: *quickly runs in and casts a nonverbal stupefy that knocks out Doctor Psycho*
*just then all of the clones eyes turn back to normal as they snap back to reality*
Rex: *blinking and groaning* What the hell just happened??
Obi-Wan: you were being mind controlled, are you guys alright?
Cody: yeah, we’re fine…we didn’t hurt you did we??
Adelynn: no, we’re fine…thanks to Aurora…and him? …who are you?
Bobby: you know only time I ever thought I’d see four of you is in my dreams, gotta say, you look better with the beard, it suits you
Fives: *smirking* I’m guessing this is your ice form Bobby? I gotta say, you DEFINITELY look good, but I think I prefer your regular form
Bobby: *as his body turns back to normal* so do I, because in my regular form…*walking over to Fives* …I can do this *grabs and holds him and kisses him*
Fives: *kisses back then breaks it* I’ve been waiting seven years to get to do that…*smirking* glad it was worth the wait
Bobby: *laughs* same here *quietly smirking* and I promise we can do a lot more when we get back to the base…my commander
Echo in shock: WHOA, when did this happen?!
Fives: well, we got to talking when he was first brought here ten years ago, and we ended up falling in love about seven years ago, and although we haven’t gotten to see each other too often and really only got to see each other in twice a week “group studies” we knew how we felt about each other
Echo: that’s great, I’m happy for the two of you
Fives; so Bobby, I’m guessing you remember my vod, GENERAL Echo
Bobby: Of course I do, and I’m sorry GENERAL?! Congrats on the promotion, man!
Echo: thank you Robert, but before we go…you should probably know, that I have a lightsaber now…if you I find out you hurt Fives, I will kill you
Bobby: oh believe me, I don’t have ANY plans of hurting him…*under his breath to fives* …that is unless you ask for it
Fives: *chokes on air*
Echo: does kaysh treat gar pirusti? (does he treat you well?)
Fives: kaysh treats ni jate'shya than anyone vurel has (he treats me better than anyone ever has)
Adelynn under her breath: awwww…
Bobby: Or'atu accurately Ni treat gar sa pehea gar deserve at cuyir treated… ner al'verde (more accurately I treat you how you DESERVED to be treated…my commander)
Echo: Gar kar'taylir mando'a?? (you know Mando’a??)
Bobby: I know a little bit, Fives has been teaching me, and I might learn more, that is if he’s still gonna be teaching me
Fives laughing: of course I’ll still teach you
Echo: damn, wait until Adelynn finds out, she’s going to be THRILLED
Bobby slowly: is Adelynn not right here?
Adelynn: I’m not your Earth’s Adelynn, she’s back in the ship we came in
Bobby: oh…wait I’m sorry SHIP?! Are we not on earth?? Because I know we’re not underwater considering aquaman would’ve jail broken us by now
Rosie: we are still on Earth, it’s a long story
Bobby: oh… by the way to those who I haven’t met, the name’s Bobby Drake, I go by Iceman in the field *goes into his ice form* …and something tells me we need to get the hell out of here
Frost: yep let’s–
*they all hear the Doctor*
The Doctor over comms: yes, hello, can everybody hear me?
Lucifer over comms; yes we hear you Doctor, what’s going on?
The Doctor: for those listening, when this is over, I will not ask you to come back here, but those who do, I will be forever grateful, because sometime after we bring back every prisoner who was kept in this base, I’m coming back here and Burning this place to the ground
Rosie: shiiiiiiiiiiit
Echo: okay, that’s not good
Fives: What’s not good?
Echo: do you know Lieutenant Susan foreman?
Fives: the girl who can regenerate by changing her face
Rosie: yeah, that’s her
Fives: yeah, I know her, we’ve actually become pretty decent friends, what about her?
Rosie; right, so she’s the Doctor’s granddaughter
Fives: WHAT?!?!
Bobby: …who’s the Doctor?
Fives: he’s a time lord, disappeared in the 80s
Rosie: well he’s back, we found his granddaughter and he’s pissed and wants to burn this place to the ground
Fives: …I’m not against it…also it makes a ton sense considering from what I’ve heard from charlie she’s basically died six times while in here
Everyone else other than Bobby: WHAT?!?!
Bobby: yeah, apparently it was supposedly to “test her regeneration”
Rosie: okay, that makes sense why the doctor is pissed…and it also means that this place likely WILL be burnt to the ground
Azalea: …do you watch doctor who Rosie??
Rosie: I’ve watched a couple seasons so far, after years of pestering and us actually MEETING the Doctor, Teddy finally convinced me to watch it, but I’ve watched enough to know that these guys are FUCKED…
*with Dick, Nora, Bart, Snart, and Firestorm*
Nora: *yawning* So you guys done fighting and ready for us to finish this? *while dodging hits from nazi soldiers*
Dick: I’m sorry, WHAT?! *blocking hits with his electrobatons before knocking one out by electrocuting it* you can take all these guys out??
Bart: yeah, but then you guys wouldn’t have gotten to fight at all
Martin Stein inside of Jax’s mind: I believe we should let them take over so we can focus on the priority of saving Mister West
Jefferson “Jax” Jackson/Firestorm: *blasting a nazis soldier with fire* yeah, Grey says we should let you take control now
Snart: *firing his cold gun at nazis* yeah, this is starting to get a little boring, so go right ahead
*Nora and Bart run around the corridor knocking out every single Nazi in the corridor*
Bart: now to free uncle wally *tries to phase through the door* …shrap…it’s dense enough where we can’t phase through
Jax: step aside, me and Gray can handle this…*puts both his hands on the door as his flames burn bright as suddenly the door transforms into water*
Dick: YOU CAN DO THAT?!?! HOW?!
Jax: Transmutation, we can’t do it TOO often, but it’s still something we can do
Snart: cool trick kid, now time to see how Wally’s doing
*they walk into the room and see a man appearing to be in his late twenties just sitting on a bed tapping their toes rapidly, with a chain with a ring around their neck and glowing cuffs on their wrists*
Snart: Hey there kid, it’s been a while
Wallace “Wally” West/Kid Flash: What the–*looks up sees Snart, Dick, and Jax* LENNY?! DICK?! JAX?!
Dick: sorry, but I’m not YOUR Dick…
Wally: …Lucifer brought over more doppelgangers?
Dick: yeah, but not to stay with the resistance, it’s a long story
Bart: So you're uncle wally?
Wally: …uncle? I only have one niece or nephew and she’s–
Nora: eight years old, Nora West-Allen and you have a nephew too, Bart West-Allen who’s five years old, or in this case twenty eight and twenty-five…because they’re us…
Wally: *realizes* …you time traveled?!?!
Nora: …surprise?
Wally: wow…*snorts* you two are just like your dad you know that?
Bart: we know, although Nora’s a bit more like mom
Wally: …out of curiosity, where ARE your mom and dad, I would’ve guessed Iris would’ve come out for this
Bart: …well..I’m sorry uncle wally but…they’re dead…they’ve been dead for five years
Wally: …no…You’re kidding?
Nora: I’m sorry uncle Wally…we’re not
Wally: …Iris…Barry…How?
Snart: you remember Thawne?
Wally: …he’s back?! And He actually beat barry??
Snart: yeah, and they’re not the only ones he got to…he got Lisa too…
Wally: WHAT?! But I thought Lisa was in Gotham with her boyfriend?? Spreading the word about the resistance there!
Snart: she and Iris were still really good friends, so they kept in touch when she left but Thawne found her…used her to get to Iris…then Barry…
Wally: …I’m sorry Leonard…
Snart: …thanks kid, and I’m sorry for you too…
Bart: …okay, we might have to talk more about this later, so we can get you out of here
Wally: alright, Bart, Nora, do either of you know about phasing yet?
Bart: yes, we do
Wally: great, I need you to phase me through the cuffs
Bart: on it Uncle Wally *grabs Wally and phases him through it*
*just then yellow lightning runs through his body as he speeds around the room*
Wally: WHOO! it feels nice to be able to actually control when and how I use my powers…also, you know it was a really bold of them to put my suit ring right around my neck this whole time *rips it off of his neck as he runs he then puts the ring on and runs into his yellow super suit with a red lightning emblem*
Wally: Oh that feels nice to have on again…Cisco…we do have a plan to break Cisco out of his mind control someday, right?
Bart: …it’s on our to-do list
Wally: …alright…
*just then in a flash of red lightning they see Thawne*
Eobard Thawne/Reverse Flash: Well if it isn’t a West Family Reunion
Snart: *about to Cold Blast Thawne*
Thawne: Easy Captain Cold…I’ll make this easy and leave you alone, because I have more important matters to handle, but, I just wanted to say…I will find you all again, and I will finish my mission, of destroying everything Barry Allen knows and loves, even in death i will be sure, he knows that you…will. SUFFER. *speeds off*
Wally: Shit shit SHIT
*just then they all hear the doctor over comms*
The Doctor over comms: yes, hello, can everybody hear me?
Lucifer over comms; yes we hear you Doctor, what’s going on?
The Doctor: for those listening, when this is over, I will not ask you to come back here, but those who do, I will be forever grateful, because sometime after we bring back every prisoner who was kept in this base, I’m coming back here and Burning this place to the ground
Bart: …that’s fair…but we need to warn everyone about Thawne *taps his comms* …Hudson? We need you to patch into everyone’s comms and warn them about something
Hudson over comms: I know I saw him, I’m already on it
*with Morgan, Roman, Nikki, Chewbacca, and Finn*
Roman: DIE NAZIS DIE *firing the heat gun at nazis*
Chewbacca: *as a piece of the flame stream hits Chewbacca a piece of his fur catches fire as he pats it out* WATCH THE FIRE!!
Nikki: …can someone translate?
Finn and Morgan: He told Roman to watch the fire!
Chewbacca: *to Morgan* …you can understand me??
Morgan blasting a nazi: I have a translator built into my suit
Roman: and my bad Furball *melts a dalek with the heat gun*
Finn: *blasting a nazi* Alright, that’s the last one…
Morgan: now to hack into the lock panel *touches the lock panel* …Friday, if you could?
Friday in her Suit: yep, I’m on it
*they unlock the door as Morgan then opens it*
Morgan: voila!
Roman: nice work Science lady
Morgan: thanks big mouth…
*they walk in and see Remus Lupin lying on a bed in a padded room*
Nikki: …Remus?
General Remus Lupin/Wolfman: *gets up and looks over and sees Morgan* Morgan?! Thank MERLIN you’re here!
Morgan: it’s been a while General Lupin
Remus (X): are these all resistance recruits?
Roman: nah man, we’re cooler than that, we’re members of the Multiversal Guardians
Remus(X): …other universes?
Morgan: yeah, you’ve missed a lot
Remus (X): agent morales told me, it’s good to see you agent Stark
Morgan: Actually and it’s General stark now, but like I had told you several times, Morgan is cool, and Miles would probably just want you calling him miles too
Remus (X): right…Morgan…also you’re a General Now?! I really have missed a lot, you and the others are going to have to catch me up when I get back…wait…WHERE’S TONKS?!
Morgan: …she’s in a coma, but don’t worry, the med-droids have been taking good care of her, and she’s only been down for a couple weeks, nearly a month
Remus (X) slowly: okay, so it could be worse is what I’m hearing…
Morgan: yep, literally the coma you were in was longer
Remus (X): *takes a breath trying to process* Okay, she’ll be fine, she’ll be fine, she’ll be fine…
Morgan: okay, now we need to go and get out of here before we get caught
Remus (X): we need to stop by the confiscation room first, they have my wand
Morgan: …alright, fair enough, everyone, let’s go, I saw it on the way here
*all of a sudden they hear the doctor over comms*
The Doctor over comms: yes, hello, can everybody hear me?
Lucifer over comms; yes we hear you Doctor, what’s going on?
The Doctor: …I’m making a change in plans…I’m making a stop at the confiscation room, then we’ll meet back at the Tardis…anyone who wants to leave, can leave, but as for me…*darkly* I’m coming back in and making sure this place is BURNED to the ground…
Morgan: Friday patch me through to the Doctor…
Friday: Done
Morgan into the comms: Doctor, I know what you’re probably thinking, but hear me out, this is a BAD idea
Hudson over comms: uhhh, guys, sorry to interrupt things but things have just gotten worse…Reverse-Flash is in the lab, I repeat Eobard Thawne is in the lab building
Everyone in the room with comms: WHAT?!?!
Morgan: alright, we’re splitting up because I need to keep the speedster siblings from doing something stupid, Nikki you’re in charge, Friday, put me through to hudson
Hudson: we heard what you said, and we got it, I’ll guide them to the confiscation room
*with Cal, Kara, Dominique, Scott, Holly, and George (62406)*
Kara: *uses her heat vision on a Dalek* Why did we have to meet daleks, of ALL The doctor who aliens we could’ve met, it just HAD to be the daleks *uses her super breath to take out a couple of nazi soldiers*
Scott: *grows to normal size and stabs a nazi with his lightsaber* you know with most people I wouldn’t be okay doing this, but considering it’s Nazis…
Holly: yeah, that kind of changes things *firing nonverbal spell shots a nazi soldiers*
George (62406): …remember when our lives used to be somewhat simple before this? *doing the same*
Holly dryly: you mean before or after the book club
George (62406): I said somewhat, so after
Holly: fair enough
Dominique; BOMBARDA *blows up the last of the daleks which takes out another couple of Nazi soldiers*
Scott: alright now how do we get in
Kara: *tries to kick the door down but it only makes a dent* …okay, that usually works…this time it actually kind of hurt too… *stretching out her leg* …that’s definitely a new one, alright, plan B…this might take a while *starts using her heat vision on the metal door to make a hole*
*after five minutes of heat vision on the door a circle is created which she punches out with her super strength*
Captain Bill Weasley (X): *standing by the wall because he could kind of see the door was heating up earlier* …If I had to guess, that would be my break out team *recognizes Cal and Kara* Cal! Kara! FRED!! *goes to hug George (62406)* what happened to you?! Why do you look so much older??
George (62406): OI
Dominique: DAD!
Cal: sorry Captain weasley, this isn’t our Kara, she’s from another earth, and that’s not Fred, that’s another Earth’s George
Bill: …wait, what happened to OUR Kara then? Also I’m sorry did you say DAD?!?!
Cal: she’s in a coma, but she’ll be fine, and She’s your daughter from another earth
Bill: good…wait…how’s Fleur, I’ve been worried sick about her after I got captured
Cal: she’s been even more worried about you Captain
Bill: we’ve been over this, just call me Bill, Cal
Cal: sorry Bill, but something else you should know…Fleur gave birth while you’ve been captive…
Bill: SHE WHAT?!?!
Cal: she was born a couple of months ago…her name is Victoire Molly Weasley, in hopes that one day we will all see victory, as well as–
Bill: …after my mum
Dominique: I’m sorry did you say VICTOIRE?! As in my OLDER SISTER VICTOIRE?!?!
Cal: yes, her doppelganger was just born a couple months ago
Dominique dryly: How is this something we’re only NOW finding out about?!
Cal: to be fair, it never really came up until now…
Dominique: and the rest of the Weasley siblings are dead…*under her breath* which means the three of us might be the only Weasleys to make it onto this earth
Bill: except for Fred
Dominique: Also back up earlier, you mistook my uncle George for my uncle fred, UNCLE FRED IS ALIVE HERE?!?! I THOUGHT HE DIED?!?!
Bill: HE DIED?!?!
Cal: Not officially, no, I don’t know who told you he died, but he’s been Missing in Action for the last two years, presumed captured
Dominique: Okay…do you have an Angelina Johnson on this Earth?
Bill: Fred’s wife?
Dominique: yes, that’s right, okay so maybe Roxanne will end up existing here too
Scott: who?
Bill: okay, who are the rest of you…well, I can tell you’re scott’s doppelganger, and you’re…George’s…
Holly: Holly Weasley, Earth-62406, George’s wife
Dominique: Dominique Weasley, your alt earth second daughter, same universe as Aunt Hols
Bill: …Dominique…I like that name…I’ll keep it in mind for if we ever have another child…
Scott: like you said before, Scott Lang, Ant-Man
Kara: Kara Zor-El, or Kara Danvers, Supergirl of Earth-Prime
Cal: and that covers everyone
Bill: alright, you need to take me to the confiscation room, so we can get my wand, so we can get the hell out of here
Cal: got it, follow us
*just then they hear the doctor over the comms*
The Doctor over comms: yes, hello, can everybody hear me?
Lucifer over comms; yes we hear you Doctor, what’s going on?
The Doctor: for those listening, when this is over, I will not ask you to come back here, but those who do, I will be forever grateful, because sometime after we bring back every prisoner who was kept in this base, I’m coming back here and Burning this place to the ground
Cal: oh, that’s not good…
Hudson over comms: uhhh, guys, sorry to interrupt things but things have just gotten worse…Reverse-Flash is in the lab, I repeat Eobard Thawne is in the lab building
Everyone in the room with comms: WHAT?!?!
Cal: okay, we need to split up, *taps his comms* HR?
HR over comms: what’s going on Cali?
Cal: …not sure how to feel about that name, but moving on, we’re splitting up, Kara, and Scott are coming with me to keep Bart and Nora from doing something Stupid like trying to fight Thawne alone, HR, I need you to guide Holly, George, and Dominique to the confiscation room so they could get back Bill’s wand, Holly you’re in charge of that, we’ll meet you all back at the Tardis
Holly: got it
HR: funny you mention that, the two of them and Wallace just took off running after Thawne, and Morgan’s doing the same thing, with Hudson helping Nikki to the confiscation room with the Wolfman, helping him get his wand back
Cal: got it, we’re on our way now to help her out then
*Han, Sara, Charlotte, Poe, Ben, and Constantine*
Han: *firing the noisy cricket at a couple of Nazis*
Sara: WHOA who the hell thought it’d be a good idea to pack that kind of power in that tiny little thing
Han: your guess is as good as mine…but now it’s on cooldown so looks like I’m doing hand to hand combat for now
Sara: *using her metal batons to block the baton of a Nazi soldier* join the club
Constantine: *using his magic to cause his hands to catch fire which he throws at a couple of nazi soldiers* I bloody hate nazis
Charlotte dryly: *fighting a Nazi sithling* ditto for me
The Nazi Sithling: *force pushes Charlotte against a wall*
Charlotte: …shit…
Ben: CHARLOTTE
The Nazi Sithling: say goodbye, Jedi Scum
Poe: NO *does the same thing to the sithling while tightly gripping his lightsaber*
Ben: *runs to charlotte* Are you alright Charlotte?
Charlotte: *getting up and reaching out through the force* I’m fine…and so are the babies
Han: …what’s going on with Poe??
Poe: *eyes turning slightly red as he storms towards the sithling and stabs him, then goes to other Nazis and starts killing, stabbing repeatedly past death yelling like a savage*
Charlotte: *terrified of what’s happening* POE!!
Ben: Okay, What the HELL is going on?!?!
Sara and Constantine: …the bloodlust…
Sara: and this is why I’m glad I came with your group
Charlotte: hang on, Constantine…YOU KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN WHEN WE BROUGHT HIM BACK?!?!
Constantine: no I didn’t! I thought it wouldn’t bloody get to him like it did to me when I got brought back! He DID have a VERY different reaction after all
Sara: Okay, I don’t know how different you are from my John, but I know for a fact that he knows that no one escapes the blood lust, and this one seems like an even worse case than normal, shit…
Constantine: arbituh bihabl qawiin kalfuladh *suddenly magical ropes appear that cause Poe to not be able to move, and the casts a spell to knock out the other Nazis*
Sara: Alright, normally you have to just let them fight it out until everyone in the room is dead, but in this case we’re going to try something else. Now, I don’t know much about star wars but is there any chance you can project your thoughts or feelings into someone else’s mind?
Charlotte freaking out: yeah??
Sara: great, I want you to do that to poe to try to calm him down
Charlotte: okay…*projects happy memories into his mind as well as thoughts of calm and peace*
Poe: *blinking as his eyes turn back to normal and he groans* wh–what the hell happened…why am I tied up??
Charlotte: *sighs in relief*
Sara; that’s a new one, normally they remember what happened
Poe: Remember what happened? WHAT HAPPENED?! Charlie? What’s going on?!
Charlotte: *in shock* I–you–
Ben: you killed a shittton of nazis with intent to kill and stabbed them well past death
Poe: I WHAT?!?!
Sara: it’s not your fault though…it’s the blood lust…it’s a sickness, that you can cure and control over time, it’s a side effect of being brought back to life via lazarus pit, it doesn’t always happen, but on occasion, in a fight, you’ll burst out in rage with an insatiable urge to kill whoever it is you’re fighting
Poe kind of scared; oh force…will I ever be…fully...me, again?
Sara: …that’s a little complicated…a piece of your soul was chipped away when you got brought back with the lazarus pit, and while you will deal with this for a little while, you are still who you are and always have been at your core, believe me, I went through this myself
Charlotte in shock and a little scared for poe: So this can be…fixed?
Sara: over time, yes, we can make the bloodlust go away…and now that I have my own SpecPhone, I want you guys to call me if you have any issues concerning this, we’ll set up some appointments or check-ins so I can come over to your universe, or you can come over to my earth and I can teach you how to overcome this
Poe: …thank you, Sara
Sara: no problem…John, do you wanna untie him now?
Constantine: *casts the spell to make the ropes disappear*
Sara: you guys stay out here to process all of this while me Constantine, Ben, and Han go in to get Zatanna we’ll be out in a minute
Constantine: kasr alqufl *the door unlocks* let’s go…
*the four go inside the room*
Charlotte: *without a word just hugs poe*
Poe: *hugs back* …are the babies alright?
Charlotte: they are…we’re going to get through this together, Poe…
Poe: I know…I love you Charlie…
Charlotte: I love you too, poe *kisses him softly*
*meanwhile in the room*
*they see a woman in a magician's outfit without a hat on just lying on the bed*
Zatanna Zatara: *getting out of bed sighs* alright boys, what is it today, please let it be group studies day, I could definitely use some social time with other people
Constantine: Now I don’t know about group studies, but I think I can help with getting you contact with other people
Zatanna: *looks over and sees Constantine* JOHNNY?! *practically launches herself at him*
Constantine: whoa there Z, I’m here, I’m here now…
Zatanna: I was starting to think that maybe I’d never see you again
Constantine: I knew we’d find you someday…I’m guessing you don’t have your magic right now?
Zatanna: magic dampening cuffs, or more accurately,
Sara; …so I’m guessing you two definitely know each other
Constantine: right, Z, Sara Lance of Earth-Prime, Ben Skywalker of Coruscant-11105, Han Seoul-Oh of Earth-611381225, everyone meet Zatanna Zatara…my girlfriend
Ben and Han a little surprised: YOU have a GIRLFRIEND?!?!
Sara: So THIS is your girlfriend on this earth
Zatanna: yep! …wait what do you mean on THIS Earth, am I not his girlfriend on Earth-Prime?
Sara: the John Constantine I knew wasn’t exactly the relationship type…and when he WAS in a relationship, it usually wasn’t…stable…
Constantine: yeah, that sounds like me, but I changed after meeting Z, she truly is the one i want to spend the rest of my days with
Sara: …you know on my earth, you DID change for a woman, only thing that snapped you back to your old self was losing your magic and your obsession with getting it back, and oddly enough she also goes by the nickname Z
Zatanna: and she’s not me?
Sara: nope, her name is Zari Tarazi, and her brother was Behrad Tarazi, they’re both a part of my crew
Constantine: huh…you know I think I recall Bart mentioning a Behrad Tarazi he used to be friends with in the future
Sara: huh…
Zatanna: alright, now before we get out of here, I need to get my hat out of the confiscation room
*Poe and Charlotte walk into the room*
Charlotte: alright, what’d we miss
Ben: apparently we need to get a hat out of the confiscation room
Sara: that and apparently he’s John’s GIRLFRIEND
Zatanna: That's right…and you two are?
Charlotte: Charlotte and Poe Dameron, universe-364, and I’m sorry WHAT?!?!
Constantine: Why are you all so surprised that I have a bloody girlfriend??
Charlotte: because you REALLY don’t seem like the type…did you brainwash her or put some kind of weird spell on her or something?
Constantine: NO I DIDN’T PUT A SPELL ON HER
Zatanna: *laughing* Like he COULD put a spell on me
Constantine: …okay, you and I both know if I wanted to, I could, but I would never do that
Zatanna: uh-huh SUUURE you could Johnny, now let’s go get my hat back
Poe: okay, does someone want to explain why instead of heading back to the tardis we’re going to, we’re about to risk fighting more Nazis for a hat
Zatanna: because that hat is what I use as my own personal storage pocket dimension, and I have a LOT of things in there that the Nazis could use against us if they figure out how to break into it
Ben:...so the hat’s important, got it
*just then they hear the doctor over the comms*
The Doctor over comms: yes, hello, can everybody hear me?
Lucifer over comms; yes we hear you Doctor, what’s going on?
The Doctor: for those listening, when this is over, I will not ask you to come back here, but those who do, I will be forever grateful, because sometime after we bring back every prisoner who was kept in this base, I’m coming back here and Burning this place to the ground
Constantine: oh Bloody hell, Z quick question, have you met a Susan foreman in your time here?
Zatanna: Are you kidding me? Me her and Lunes are the only three girls currently locked up in this place, well that and luna’s daughter
Constantine: right, so…she’s the Doctor’s granddaughter
Zatanna: as in the famous resistance general who founded and led the refugee department back in the day?
Constantine: yeah, him and apparently now he’s saying he’s going to come back once we’re done here and burn the place down
Zatanna: …considering what they’ve done to HER here, that makes sense…also okay that makes sense that she’s also a timelord and the only other time lord anyone on earth has even met is the Doctor, how is it no one put that together that they’re related??
Constantine: *snorts* well in our defense no one knew about Susan being a time lord, not even lucifer, but fair play I suppose
Zatanna: also I’m coming back with him to burn this place down too
Constantine: then I’m coming with you
Zatanna: but for now, let’s get my hat back
Constantine: but first…alafraj ean alkifa
*zatanna’s cuffs release and drop to the ground*
Zatanna: …have I ever told you how much I love you Johnny?
Constantine innocently: I do believe the matter has come up once or twice, but it’s always nice to hear you say it
Zatanna: *gives him a soft kiss on the lips then breaks it* and now with my magic back to being at my command, we won’t even need to go to the room
Sara: What do you mean?
Zatanna: let me show you…nruter ym tah ot em! *suddenly her hat appears in her hand as she then pulls out a magician's wand from it and puts on the hat* much better!
Han: …were you talking…backwards?
Zatanna: yep! That’s how my father taught me how to cast spells…by the way Johnny, how’s my dad doing…
Constantine weakly: …I’ll tell you when we get back to the tardis, it’s not good news, but we need to get you out of here first
Zatanna slightly confused: okay?
*with Peter, Quill, Gisele, Padme, and Lily Luna*
Quill: *firing his element blasters at flying monkeys* these things are SO annoying, here I thought we’d be done with them after the beach incident
Lily Luna: still not the craziest thing that happened that day I can tell you that *firing nonverbal spell shots at nazis
Padme: How do you even know about them, when you weren’t even there? *deflecting nazi spell shots and firing her blaster at other nazis* And what happened that was WORSE that day?!
Lily Luna: *deflecting spell shots from nazis* I’ll tell you later, but all I’ll say is it was bad enough to warrant oliver getting involved
Peter: you know as much as I love doctor who, I definitely don’t love meeting these guys *keeps firing his webs at them*
The Dalek: Unable to see attackers MUST EXTERMINATE ALL ALLIES OF THE DOCTOR *the dalek starts firing his gunstick in different random directions*
Gisele: *firing her twin blaster pistols at nazis while dodging dalek gunstick fire* Why do these things HATE the Doctor so much
Peter: *jumping on top of the ceiling then drops down to behind the dalek and kicks it knocking it out* because of the time war the doctor had talked about earlier, and a lot of other things
Padme: *knocks out a nazi soldier with a stupefy then puts her wand and blaster away* …I think that’s all of them
Peter semi-jokingly: …alright, so do you want to get the lock or should I, Peter?
Quill semi-jokingly: why, thank you for offering Peter, but I think I have something that should take care of this lock pretty fast *attaches a small metal device to the lock panel that fries it causing for the door to open as they walk into the room and see Miles chained to a wall, in his spider suit without his mask*
Miles Morales/Spider-Man: What the–PETER?! PADME?! QUILL?! Thank GOD you’re here to get me out
Gisele: you know this kid?
Peter: yeah, he’s this Earth’s Current Spider-Man, and he was one of the original multiversal guardians, from the first multiversal crisis
Miles: So Oliver finally came up with a name for the team?! It’s about time! …Also did you say FIRST Multiversal crisis?? There was another one?!
Quill: yeah, and this one almost worse
Miles: How the hell could it have been worse than the first one??
Quill: …okay admittedly neither of us three had it that bad, but she got sent to an unknown universe for what was a year for her *gesturing to Lily Luna* Scott got sent back to the Earth-Prime Cretaceous period, and the George you met got sent into the Speed force
Miles: And he’s ALIVE?!?! Also what do you mean the George I met
Padme: …there have been a lot more doppelgangers joining since we last met
Miles: oh…
Lily Luna: also, he and my cousin-in-law ended up becoming speedsters so there’s that
Miles: …and you are?
Lily Luna: Lily Luna Potter, Iris’ cousin, Daughter of Harry and Ginny Potter
Gisele: and my name is Gisele Yashar, I am from universe…I don’t remember the number
Lily Luna: fair enough, you DO have one of the longest ones
Miles: nice to meet you guys, the Name’s Miles Morales, I’d shake your hands but I’m kind of tied up at the moment…could one of you maybe help me get out of these chains
Lily Luna; alright, everyone stand away from the chains, me and Padme got this…Confringo! *blasts off one of the chains*
Padme: Confringo! *blasts off the other chain freeing miles*
Miles; *stretching his arms and legs* oh that’s better…
Quill: …i don’t think we have anything that could get those cuffs off of your wrists that the chains were attached to
Padme: actually yes we do, I don’t know why we didnt think of this sooner but…Miles, can I see your wrists?
Miles: sure *raises them both*
Padme: *casts a nonverbal alohamora unlocking the chains making them drop to the ground*
Miles: Oh thank god, I was getting tired of wearing cuffs all the time–wait…WE NEED TO GET TO THE CONFISCATION ROOM, NOW
Quill: why?? What’s going on?
Miles; well for one, they have my web shooters, and while I could easily make another pair, they also have my SpecPhone and EXTRAPOLATOR
Everyone else: WHAT?!?!
Miles: okay we need to go, I know where it is, follow me
*they all rush to the Confiscation room*
*With Neville, Ali, Deadpool, Iris, and Aidan*
Deadpool: *firing his guns at Nazis*
Ali: *using her lightsaber with her wand in it to block nazis attacks while creating spellwaves to hit them*
Iris: *doing the same but with the dual-wield form*
Aidan: *dodging nazi spellfire, blasterfire, and gunfire with his speed while firing nonverbal spellshots at them*
*just then a Dalek comes in down the hall*
Dalek: EXTERMINATE ALL ALLIES OF THE DOCTOR *fires the gunstick at Deadpool*
Deadpool: what the AH SHIT *falls to the ground and “dies” from the blast*
Neville; WADE!!
Deadpool: *gets back up groaning* relax Longbottom, I’m not dead…however this thing is about to be *puts away his guns and pulls out his twin katanas and slices it in half*
Ali: …you can be absolutely terrifying sometimes you know that Deadpool?
Deadpool: Oh c’mon I’m not THAT bad…Sporty, Duck! *throws one of his katanas in his direction*
Aidan: *ducks causing for the sword to decapitate a nazi soldier who was about to fire on aidan* Oh MERLIN…I’m not sure if I should be horrified or be thanking you…
Deadpool: considering I just saved your ass, thanking *going over to get his katana as he then picks it up and puts both of them away*
Iris dryly: you know you’re only proving her point, right?
Deadpool innocently: *shooting a nazi that was about to shoot Iris* That’s both woodys I’ve saved today, so if I were you Mrs woody, I’d be thanking instead of judging
Iris: *flipping him off as she then slashes at a nazi soldier knocking them out with a stupefy spell wave* …and I think that’s the last one…alright how are we getting in
Deadpool: I think I can get us in
Neville: …why do I not like this is a good idea?
Deadpool: don’t worry, it’ll be fiiiiine *puts a sort of round device with the deadpool logo on the door* FIRE IN THE HOLE
*just then a visible electric shock goes through the door causing for it to unlock*
Deadpool: after you Longbottom *gesturing to the door*
*Neville slowly opens the door, as they all see Luna singing Isn’t she lovely by Stevie Wonder to a swaddled baby girl she’s rocking in her arms, while sitting on a small bed, next to three cribs*
Luna Longbottom (X) singing softly: …Isn't she pretty? Truuulyy the angel's best, Boy, I'm so happy, We have been heaven blessed–
Neville singing softly: *while smiling slightly while slowly walking towards her* … I can't believe what God has done…
*luna goes silent in shock knowing his voice*
Neville singing softly finishing the song: … Through us, He's given life to one, But isn't she lovely? Made from looooveeee…
Luna whisper shouting: *turns and sees Neville* Neville??
Neville: …Hey, Lu–
Luna whisper shouting: Shhh, I just got her to sleep for a nap
Neville whispering: *smiling softly* …I always knew you’d make a good mum
Luna whispering: *smiling slightly* …and I always knew you’d make a good dad…do you want to hold your daughter?
Neville whispering: of course I would *takes the baby*
Luna whispering: Pandora Alice Longbottom is her name…*goes to the middle crib and picks up a baby boy* …and this is Neville Longbottom jr…*her smile then turns into a sad frown as tears begin to form*...but Neville…you need to kn–
Neville whispering: I know…you don’t need to say it…they told me already…I know…about Frank…these are some friends of mine…Iris and Aidan Wood and Alice or Ali Longbottom from Earth-62406
Luna whispering: …Longbottom?
Neville whispering: yes…apparently she’s my alt earth daughter
Luna whispering: wow…
Neville whispering: and last we have Wade Wilson from Earth-Infinity
Luna: …you know I’m a little surprised Lucifer went out of his way to find another wade, considering how little he liked our earth’s version, I never thought he was that bad though
Neville: he didn’t, he’s not technically resistance…it’s a long story…but we’re here to break you and the kids out…
Luna: …okay, but there’s one thing we can’t leave without…Alice, could you hold Neville junior?
Ali a little surprised she’s trusting her already: *taking the baby* uhh, sure…but out of curiosity why are you trusting me with your baby after just meeting me?
Luna: you’re the daughter of another earth’s Neville Longbottom, right?
Ali: yes?
Luna: well I trust any earth’s neville longbottom more than anything there is, and assuming that he helped raise you, that means I can trust you too
Ali: oh…
Luna: *goes to a shelf on the wall and picks up a small urn wrapped a baby blanket*
Neville: …is that?
Luna sadly: …Frank Xenophillius Longbottom…I was surprised that they even let me have his remains…
*just then they hear the doctor over comms*
The Doctor over comms: yes, hello, can everybody hear me?
Lucifer over comms; yes we hear you Doctor, what’s going on?
The Doctor: for those listening, when this is over, I will not ask you to come back here, but those who do, I will be forever grateful, because sometime after we bring back every prisoner who was kept in this base, I’m coming back here and Burning this place to the ground
Neville: …once we get everyone to safety, I’m coming back with the Doctor…but for now, c’mon let’s get out of here
*they all start running through the hall*
Hudson over comms suddenly: uhhh, guys, sorry to interrupt things but things have just gotten worse…Reverse-Flash is in the lab, I repeat Eobard Thawne is in the lab building
Neville: Okay, we need to hurry before–
*just then they see Thawne appear in a flash of red lightning*
Deadpool: *pulling out two guns and pointing them both at thawne*
Neville darkly: you…
Thawne: Well, isn’t this touching…a Longbottom family reunion…I knew I had to make it out for this…but what’s this? *innocently* I’m counting one missing…*fake gasping* Where’s baby frank?!?! …oh, I see his mother has him, so you didn’t forget him!
Neville darkly: I’m going to fucking kill him
Deadpool: you’re holding a baby, Longbottom…all longbottoms go get the fuck out of here, me and the woodys can handle him
Ali: Bu–
Iris: as much as I hate to say this, and HATE the name he just called us, he’s right…we’ll meet you back at the Tardis
Neville reluctantly: …fine…*darkly* …know this though thawne…I’m coming back for you one day…let’s go
*Ali, Luna, and Neville all leave with Neville jr., Pandora, and Frank’s ashes*
Deadpool: now, for you baby murderer, you’re going to fucking die *fires both guns*
Thawne: *tries to dodge the bullets but they both end up hitting his shoulder* fast bullets…*phases through them as he then starts to speed heal* But I’m faster…
Deadpool: shiiiiiiiiiit, I knew I should’ve sprung for the Anti-phasing speedster bullets instead of the base model, plan B, go get ‘em sporty!
Aidan: …yeah, I’m not surprised by this at all, I guess I am the speedster *charges at him at superspeed*
Thawne: *using his speed ducks down and flips him over his back sending him flying into a wall at super speed* sorry Snitch, you’re not the one I’m here for today
*aidan groaning*
Iris: AIDAN *runs to see if he’s okay*
Deadpool: *under his breath* …oh god, please don’t let that be his actual hero name…*outloud* you make me fucking sick, you know that? I knew you were fucking evil and a menace to society with the shit you did to barry, but Killing BABIES?!?!
Thawne: what happened to her son wasn’t intentional, he died when we were testing him for magic
Deadpool dryly: hey, dipshit, people don’t usually get that type of magic until they’re at least six, newborns aren’t going to have it
Thawne dryly: we didn’t know that at the time
Deadpool dryly: …how many of your people are wizards or witches? Just FUCKING ASK ONE OF THEM
Iris over by Aidan: are you alright Aidan?
Aidan: *getting up* yeah I just have a headache…or maybe I have a concussion, because I think deadpool is actually saying things I agree with
Iris: …shockingly enough, you’re right, he is saying agreeable things
Thawne: don’t worry Mister Wilson, odds are I’ll be getting out of your way soon, when some friends of mine show up soon
*just then Nora, Bart, and Wally speed in*
Thawne: Hello West-Allens, I’m guessing Captain Cold told you about my past with your family?
Nora: he did…
Bart: and we’re going to make sure you pay for what you did to our parents
Thawne: …well if it isn’t Kid Flash, back in action
Wally: it feels good now that I can actually control my speed, and now we’re going to have a little fun
*suddenly the four speedsters start fighting throughout the hallway with thawne creating three speed mirages so it appears as if seven people are fighting at superspeed*
Aidan: …I need to help them
Iris: …be careful, Aidan…
Aidan: I will…*
*speeds in as they then see four strands of lightning fighting clashing around the hallway, two purple, two yellow, and four red as the four red streaks overpower the others*
Scott: *after just being sped in by Kara with Cal* Shiiiiiiiiit…
*Nora, Aidan, Wally, and Bart all groaning on the ground after being thrown to the ground at superspeed*
Cal: Nora! *goes to her*
*the speed mirages all disappear*
Thawne: Cal Kestis…makes sense you’re here…with Supergirl and Scott Lang…I’m gonna take a shot in the Dark and guess, you’re 200000’s version of Lang considering ours is dead, and from what I’ve heard from brainiac, he’s the one Lucifer is friends with, and as for you, and as for Supergirl, considering last I heard recently she was in a coma still
Cal slowly: …how do you know about supergirl being in a coma still?
Thawne: That’s not important right now, but what IS important is I do know how to fight you Supergirl, because while I might not be as strong as you *speed punches her while vibrating his hand sending her flying against a wall* I’m faster
*Morgan just then comes in running at super speed in her suit*
Morgan: BART! *goes to him and lowers her helmet*
Bart: heyyy, Morgi…I’m doing fine, don’t worry…
Morgan: …alright my suit scanners say you’ll all be fine, but we need to get them out of here
Thawne: What's the matter, you realized you can’t beat me? Good, I have more important matters to tend to anyway *speeds away*
Morgan: Cal, Scott, Iris, help me get everyone up and to the Tardis *putting her helmet back up
*just then Barry runs in*
Barry: What Happened?? Where is he??
Morgan: you just missed him, but you’re in time to help us get everyone out of here, c’mon
*meanwhile just outside of the confiscation room with the Doctor, Kurt, Jaime, Teddy, Victoire, and Susan*
The Doctor: *uses his sonic screwdriver to scan the lock on the door and smirks* HA, this is definitely an impressive one, this’ll take a while even for the sonic to unlock
Susan: Time Lord Tech? Dalek?
The Doctor: no it’s not, it’s a Cyberlock
Susan: ugggggh of course it had to be bloody cybermen tech
The Doctor: Susan! Language!
Susan: *sighs* sorry, grandfather
Kurt: …what is a Cyberman?
Teddy: Basically picture morgan in her Iron Maiden suit, only they’re permanently in the Robotsuits, and their minds are homicidal and kind of fucked, kind of like robotic space nazis
Jaime: …ay dios
Victoire: merde (shit in french)
Kurt: that, is a horrifying thought
The Doctor: yes, however, they have some of the greatest technology in this known universe
Kurt: …and you know about them How?
The Doctor and Susan awkwardly at the same time: uhhhh, well, it’s a long story
Kurt; oh goodness…there’s two of them now…
*just then Miles, Peter, Quill, Padme, Gisele, Padme, and Lily Luna all show up at the door*
Susan: Miles! *hugging Miles*
Miles; *hugging back* Susan! They got you out too!
The Doctor: *while using the sonic screwdriver to unlock the door* Ah, I see you found agent Morales, brilliant work
Peter: okay, Doctor, how long is it going to take for the sonic to open the door
The Doctor: it’s cybermen tech so it might take a while
Padme: That’s bad, we need to get in there asap
Victoire: why? What is it they took from Miles?
Miles: Web shooters, SpecPhone, but most importantly…my EXTRAPOLATOR
Jaime, Teddy and Victoire: WHAT?!?!
The Doctor: …I’m sorry, what’s an extrapolator?
Susan: Yes, I was going to ask the same thing…
Padme: …has anyone here explained who Oliver is yet?
*just then Ray, Remy, Cisco, Kate, Scott and Hal show up*
Ray: oh, hey guys, you’re here too?
Hal: let me take some shots in the dark here, Web Shooters, something time lord related
Susan and Miles: Hal! *they both go in to hug hal*
Hal: *semi-reluctantly accepting it* really guys? Alright, it’s good to see you too
Teddy: …Lantern Ring?
Hal: yep
Quill: okay, as someone who read comics a lot as a kid, I know that’s bad, but what Miles lost is WAY worse
Miles: yeah, because with what I got taken it’s much worse than just my web shooters
Ray: What got taken, Miles?
Miles: My specphone, and extrapolator
Ray, Remy, Cisco, Kate, and Scott: WHAT?!
Susan: Okay, What IS an extrapolator??
Cisco: hang on…you have an extrapolator??
Scott: He was a part of the original multiverse team of multiversal guardians…well second technically, but what I mean is he was there when we fought the Anti-Monitor on earth-x…
Cisco: to explain to those who don’t know, an extrapolator, or at least the kind that we all have, is a key to a place known as the multiversal bar, where a man named Oliver Queen, known as the Spectre, like a multiversal god who basically watches over the whole multiverse, except he can’t see into this universe unfortunately, but if someone gets to him through one of our extrapolators, he’ll be PISSED, and more importantly, if by some miracle the nazis know a way to beat him, the whole multiverse is SCREWED
Susan, Kurt, Hal, and the Doctor: WHAT?!?!
Remy: yeah, I don’t know how that ting work doctor, but you gon’ need ta make it work faster
The Doctor: It’s going as fast as it can, It’s a Cyberlock tech, okay?! While I have encountered the cybermen a bit in my past, this specific model of screwdriver hasn’t interfaced with cyberman technology
Cisco: …the Sonic Screwdriver works off of vibrations, right?
The Doctor: yes, that’s right, that’s why it’s called a Sonic
Cisco: Do you think if I could temporarily boost the vibration level it’ll make the sonic open the door faster?
The Doctor: Of course it would, But how do you plan to do that?
Cisco: one of my powers is I can shoot vibrational blasts out of my hands, controlled by my gauntlets…do you mind if I see the sonic screwdriver? *turning off his gauntlets and taking off one of his gloves*
The Doctor semi-reluctant: …fine *hands it off to him*
Cisco: *grinning in excitement* wow, I Can't believe I’m actually going to get to use this
Everyone who’s met him: CISCO
Cisco: sorry, sorry, alright, now we point and if I focus my vibrational blast through it then it should…*uses the sonic screwdriver to unlock the door as it then slides open* Yahtzee! Here you go Doctor *hands the screwdriver over*
The Doctor: …what did you say your name was again?
Cisco: Cisco Ramon, codenamed Vibe
The Doctor: right, well Cisco that was really quite impressive, wasn’t it, now c’mon let’s go
*they all file into the large confiscation room*
Susan: alright, everyone start searching
The Doctor: *looking around seeing all of the containers with …how many people have been held captive here??
Susan: …too many…I say this as the lab’s first subject…Rogue, Gambit–our gambit–our Ronnie Raymond and Martin Stein, Cisco Ramon, Cutup, and Jay Garrick, just to name a few…in total there have been ninety people who’ve been held here at one point, that’s including…the new longbottom babies…only fif–*takes a breath sadly remembering* fourteen…have survived this place…the thirteen that you’ve found today, and the currently brainwashed cisco ramon …seventy six people…who’ve all perished in this godforsaken shithole–Sorry for the language grandfather…
The Doctor as pale as a ghost: …considering the situation…it’s fine…
Susan: …some went out peacefully, some less so…the only reason why I lasted as long as I did, why I managed to maintain my joy, is I hoped that one day you’d find me some day, grandfather, well that and one other thing…
Quill: sorry, to interrupt you susan, but I thought you should know I found your containment unit
Susan: YES *goes to what looks like a drawer labeled S. Foreman and takes out what looks like a folded up frock coat and puts it on* …oh that feels MUCH better
Jaime: …so we just came here, instead of heading straight to the Tardis for a trench coat?
Susan: it’s a Frock coat actually, and also, just so you know Jaime, that’s not the only thing…that got taken *starts going through the drawer*
The Doctor: I haven’t seen you in that coat in AGES *sighs* it's just as beautiful on you as when I gave it to you
Susan: *smiling slightly* Thanks grandfather–HA, Here it is *pulls out a small containment case and pulls out from it small handheld device that looks kind of like an alien wand with a crystal on it, and presses a button as it then makes a light humming sound* and it still works! Although I think it’s time for an upgrade…
The Doctor: Is that–
Susan: *grinning* it is…Grandfather…this is my own Sonic Screwdriver, I built it myself using what you taught me about yours with my own touches, although when I get back I’m thinking about making a new one
The Doctor: *hugs her* Susan, I am SO proud of you
Susan laughing: Thank you, grandfather *puts the sonic screwdriver away*
*just then they hear a flap of wings and suddenly Lucifer, Amenadiel, Remiel, Charlie, Aaron, Evelyn, and Hobbs are all behind them*
Evelyn: Okay, that was awesome! How come you don’t fly people more often Luci?
Lucifer dryly: because I’m not a bloody cabbie, now am I?
Charlie: SUSAN!!
Susan: CHARLIE!!
*the two run two each other and hug*
Charlie semi-jokingly: I’ve got to say, this is a way better hug than the side hugs we’re normally only allowed to do, if that…
Susan: *snorts* it definitely is…
Charlie: …is that the jacket you told me your grandfather gave you?!
Susan cheerfully: It is! *does a twirl in it* what do you think?!
Charlie: It looks great on you!
Susan: yeah, admittedly it does look better with clothes other than a jumpsuit, I’m thinking maybe jeans and a nice blouse, but still I think it looks nice
Charlie: it definitely suits you
Susan AND…*pulls out her sonic screwdriver* This is my Sonic!
Charlie: Cool! Do you mind if I hold it?!
Susan: sure! Or wait…do you have your angel strength active?
Charlie: I do, well it’s more passive now that I’m don’t have any chains, but don’t worry, I can control it
Susan; good…
Charlie: *holds it for a moment* cool…*hands it back* …I seriously can’t believe you BUILT that, are you sure you’re not a genius?
Susan: *blushing slightly as she puts it away* you charmer, no, I’m not, well amongst Time Lord standards anyway…*flirtingly* …you know, while that hug was amazing, I think there’s something we can do that’d be even better than that
Charlie innocently: oh Really, what’re you thinking?
Susan innocently: one of the things we have been thinking about doing for the last 38 years
Charlie: *pulls her in and leans in to kiss her*
Susan: *kisses him back*
*just then they break the kiss*
Charlie: *grinning* wow…
Susan: *grinning as well* I know…well this has been a nice early birthday gift to me
Charlie flirtingly: that it has…and I’d be happy to do it again
Hal: it’s about TIME you two finally got to kiss
Charlie: it’s good to see you too Hal
The Doctor: …Hello Charlie *has his sonic screwdriver make a light humming sound to let him know that it’s him*
Charlie: uh–General Doctor, sir, it’s good to see you again, and you’re back as a man this time…
The Doctor: you were a General too, remember? Also it’s fine, you can just call me the Doctor
Charlie: …well, while we’re here…I should probably ask…is it alright with you, that I’m dating your granddaughter?
Susan dryly: I’d hope it’s fine considering I’m almost 300 years old…also back up did you say as a Man?? GRANDFATHER WAS A WOMAN?!
The Doctor: *laughing softly* of course it’s fine, I had already known charlie since he was a kid, so I know odds are he’ll be good for you, just promise me you won’t hurt her? *innocently* Because if you do, I’d like to remind you there are many possibilities of things I could do with a time machine, and many where it wouldn’t even be needed…
Charlie: I wouldn’t dream of it sir, but, noted
Susan: *pinching the bridge of his nose* you’ll have to forgive him Charlie, he can be a bit protective sometimes, but back to the question about you being a woman
Lucifer; as any good father, or grandfather in this case would be of their child, also did you say you were almost 300 years old?? Funny I remember back when we met you had said you were–
Susan: 29 years old, High General Morningstar, it’s good to see you again, and technically it wasn’t entirely a lie, Time Lords live up to be thousands of years old so in the aging scale I basically am 29 about to turn 30, or I guess more accurately 299 about to turn 300 as you know now, but about you being a woman grandfather!
Jaime: jesus…
The Doctor: alright, if you must know, yes, my last incarnation before this one, was female, I know, a first, honestly you probably would have loved it
Susan: I bet I would’ve!
Hal: alright, now for me to find my ring, this should be easy…In Brightest day, in Blackest night, no evil shall escape my sight, let those who worship evil’s might, beware my power…GREEN LANTERN’S LIGHT *suddenly they all see a flash of bright green light from a glass case as the ring breaks through the glass and comes flying onto hal’s finger and a green lantern suit appears around him and his mask forms around his eyes as he then starts levitating, as a green lantern power battery also appears in his hand*
Miles: Damn Hal, that suit looks good on you!
Hal: thanks, kid, it feels good to have the power again *flies up to higher in the room and sees a wooden bo staff in a glass case labeled C. Martin* Hey Charlie! Did you have a Staff when you got captured
Charlie; *eyes widening* no. way…. *pops out his wings and flies up and sees the staff and uses his strength to break through the glass and take it* I missed this thing
Amenadiel smiling: The Staff of Life, made from the remains of the tree of life from Eden…I remember when I gave you that…you used it well
Susan: so that would make you…God?!?!
Amenadiel: yes, susan, well…sort of…right now my brother temporarily wields the throne while I came here to help save charlie with our sister, but that is correct, I am God
Susan: …it’s an honor to meet you sir, Heavenly father
Amenadiel: please, the honor is all mine…my son tells me that you two are in love
Susan: *grinning* we are, heavenly father
Amenadiel: I see Charlie told you about the heaven custom of addressing me as Heavenly father
Lucifer cheerfully: Or Heavenly Brother!
Amenadiel: That's not the case and you know it, Only you do that! but please, susan, that won’t be necessary, you my child, can just call me Amenadiel…also, I just thought you should know, you and Charlie have my full support, I can tell you’re definitely good for him
Susan in slight shock: T–thank you H–G–Amenadiel!
*Charlie flies down and puts his wings back away*
Miles: *finding containment drawer that reads M. Morales* Here we go! *searches the drawer and takes out his web shooters and puts them on* still full, nice *takes out his specphone* alright…*looks in the drawer and realizes* …SHIIIIIIIIIT
Lucifer: what’s wrong miles?
Miles: My extrapolator, it’s gone…
Everyone who knows what that is: WHAT?!
Evelyn slowly: so the Nazis have their hands on one of OLIVER’S extrapolators, the kind that can enter the bar?
Miles slowly in shock: yep…
Lucifer: …Oliver’s going to be bloody PISSED
Miles; I KNOW
Amenadiel: maybe let’s focus on getting out of here before freaking out
Aaron: good idea
*just then they see a flash of fire from the hall*
Cisco: What the hell was that?!
*in the hall just outside the room with Ghost Rider, Brian, Mia, Rey, and Loki*
Ghost Rider: *using a chain flail that wraps around a nazi and catches fire disintegrating them*
Brian: oh god…
Ghost Rider: alright, Johnny’s stuff should be this way
*they all walk into the storage room*
Half of the people in the room: WHAT THE HELL?!?!
Hal: who the hell is that?? *with his lantern ring ready*
Charlie: guys calm down! It’s Johnny!
Lucifer: or more Accurately, the Ghost Rider in this form, I see the spirit of vengeance has come out to play
Ghost Rider; it’s been a long time Morningstar *The flames on his skull as he’s going suddenly goes back to being Johnny*
Johnny: Hey there Lucifer, it’s been a while
Lucifer: Sergeant Johnny Blaze, yes it has, so I’m assuming you’re here for something?
Johnny: yes sir, I’m here for my hell pistols…and my jacket
Lucifer: yes, I was wondering why Ghost rider for once was without his jacket, it didn’t look right to me in my opinion
Johnny: agreed
Hal: hey Johnny! *still in the air*
Johnny: Hey Hal! Any chance you see my jacket and pistols up there?
Hal: yep! I’ll get them and fly them down!
Charlie grinning: Johnny!
Johnny: Charlie! *hugging charlie*
Charlie: *hugging him back* glad to see they got you and the spirit of vengeance out
Johnny: glad to see they got you too, Charlie–*notices susan standing next to him* PLEASE tell me you and Susan finally got some action…or the closest thing you can get to action in this place
Susan innocently: Zatanna and Luna will definitely be happy to hear we finally got to kiss
Hal jokingly: the Real Prison couples of Lab 36-B, only thing missing is fives and Bobby
Lucifer: Fives and Bobby got together??
Susan: they did, but that reminds me, someone look for Luna’s Wand, odds are when Neville found her they took the babies and got out of here
*just then Roman, Nikki, Chewbacca, Finn, and Remus (X) all come in*
Roman: and we’re here! Told you i’d get us here
Nikki dryly: we would’ve been here sooner if you would've just listened to Hudson’s directions
Hudson over comms: THANK YOU
Roman dryly: who am I? Tej and Ramsey?! I ain’t letting some kid tell me what to do
Ramsey and Tej over comms dryly: we heard that.
Remus (X): alright, everyone calm down, we’re here to get my wand back, we ran into Bill on the way here and his group, they were left back to the phone box, I told him we’d get his wand back
Susan: well I found Luna’s
Charlie: Remus, I’ve got yours *tosses it to him*
Miles: And here’s bill’s! *pulling it out from a drawer*
Hal: *flying down* and here is your jacket Johnny *hands over the leather jacket* and your hell pistols *hands them over*
Evelyn: What the hell is a hell pistol??
Johnny: linked to the spirit of vengeance, who is a demon from hell who I host in my body, they shoot rounds made of hellfire *puts them away in his leather jacket*
Evelyn: Damn, that’s cool…
Johnny: you think that’s cool, wait until you see what we’re about to do next…you said the base is back in lux?
Lucifer; yes, it is
Johnny: And do we still have the hidden garage?
Lucifer: yes?
Johnny: great, you all can take your Tardis thingy, and I’ll meet you back the base where we can discuss the plan to come back another day and burn down this place, the Spirit of Vengeance and I need to go for a ride
Lucifer; oh boy, everyone stand away from johnny
*everyone stands back as Johnny turns into the Ghost Rider and then the ground begins to shake and a small piece of the earth opens up as a flaming motorcycle comes out of it as the ground closes back up and Ghost rider gets on the motorcycle*
HR over comms; okay guys, this could just be our feed glitching but did we just see a MOTORCYCLE COME OUT OF THE GROUND?!
Aaron in shock: yeah…yeah you did…
Ghost Rider: this is the hellcycle…well, I’ll meet you back at the base *revs it up and drives it at top speed through the door and through a wall out of the lab, leaving a tire trail of flames behind him*
Evelyn: …What the Hell just Happened?!?!
Lucifer: a lot of things, now c’mon we need to GO
*back in the Tardis*
Hank: How is their condition Dr. Snow?
Caitlin: Well, Dr. McCoy all of the speedsters who were in the fight seem to be just more exhausted than anything, same goes for Kara…
Morgan dryly: you’re lucky on that one you know that Bart?
Bart: *sighing knowing he’s in trouble* yeah, I know…
Caitlin: …Except for Wally he from what I can tell is Malnourished and dehydrated, but odds are we get him some food water and rest and he’ll be fine, same applies to Fives, Bobby, Bill, Zatanna and Luna
Neville: What about the babies?
Caitlin: the babies shockingly enough are actually perfectly healthy
*neville sighing somewhat in relief then looking at the urn Luna is holding and saddens*
Neville: Luna…I’m sorry, you had to go through everything you had to without me…but I’m with you now, and I promise, I won’t be leaving your side for a LONG time
Luna: neville…I don’t blame you for not being able to be there… *side hugging him because shes holding the urn and Neville is holding pandora* …you’re here now, and that’s what counts
Hank: *sees the group from the Confiscation room coming through the Tardis Monitor* I’ll be right back…*goes outside the Tardis* glad to see you all made it! Wait…where’s Johnny?
The Doctor: he uhhh…Took his own way out…he’s going to meet us back at the base
Hank: Okay then? We’re all ready to leave inside, Dr Snow has examined all of the people who were captured, all we need to do is send word to the distraction team that we’re ready to–
*all of a sudden they feel the ground shaking as they look to their left and they see an army of nazis and flying monkeys chasing after the distraction team*
Winslow Schott/Toyman: *chasing them* HOW DARE YOU CALL ME THAT WHY–
*just then they see a flash of orange lightning and George (111605) and Allana are standing by them*
Allana: we might want to get the Tardis Started, NOW
Lucifer: EVERYBODY IN, LETS GO!!
Percy yelling while running from the mob of Nazis and flying monkeys: START THE TARDIS!!
Sirius (111605) Yelling while running: HURRY EVERYBODY GET IN
Anakin yelling while running: WE NEED TO GO NOW
James Sirius yelling while running: GET IN GET IN GET IN
*Sirius (62406) and (6246) just running in their dog forms*
Azalea: oh.
Aurora: my.
Nikki: Merlin.
Rosie: What the FUCK did they DO?!?!
Nikki: Who Cares what they did?! WE NEED TO GO *everyone standing outside the Tardis quickly floods in with the distraction team running in last and shutting the door behind them however the soldiers then start firing on it*
The Doctor still outside: alright is that everyone?? *looking around just in case*
One of the charging Daleks: EXTERMINATE THE DOCTOR *the dalek blasts the doctor with his gunstick*
The Doctor: *goes silent drops to the ground as he then starts to die*
Susan from inside the Tardis: GRANDFATHER
Hank, Kurt, and Lucifer all from inside the tardis: DOCTOR!!!
*Susan from inside makes a mad dash to the doctor outside*
Charlie: SUSAN!! *runs outside to protect her by popping out his wings to use as a shield but they start to take damage quick*
Amenadiel, Remiel, and Lucifer; CHARLIE!!
Susan: Charlie?! What’re you doing?!
Charlie: PROTECTING YOU, NOW GET HIM INSIDE, HURRY
*they make it into the Tardis and shut the door behind them*
*back inside the Tardis*
Lucifer: HANK!! KURT!! WE NEED TO GO!!
Kurt and Hank: on it!
*the two then take command of the console as they then hear a whooshing sound*
Hank: alright, we’ve entered the time vortex
Amenadiel: Are you alright charlie??
Charlie: yeah…*weakly putting his wings away* …they’ll heal, believe me, I’ve been through worse in the last 40 years
Susan: *kneeling next to him* come on grandfather, stay with me
The Doctor: …I-I will…but unfortunately, I think you know what comes next…
Susan: *in tears seeing him in pain* no, no, no I just started to get to know this you, and I know what happened, and what you had to go through with the time war, Davros helped make sure I did before my last regeneration, I know you’ve already been through so much pain, you don’t deserve this, PLEASE
The Doctor: don’t worry, I’m not leaving you susan…but I need you to promise me something…
Susan; of course Grandfather, anything
The Doctor: …I need you to promise me… that you’ll always keep your bright light, the bright light that you and I have always had, the light similar to the one I used to have that was dimmed because of the time war…because something tells me that it might dim again…
Susan: I promise, grandfather…
The Doctor: …good…here…*weakly unties his bowtie and hands it to her* …I want you to have this…remember this me, in case it's a while before I’m ever like this again…
Susan in tears: …I will…
The Doctor: now I want you to remember these words, not just for me, but in case the day comes where the new me forgets them…
Susan in tears: o-okay…
The Doctor: …Never be cruel…Never be cowardly…Remember…Hate is always foolish…Love is always wise…Always try to be nice…but never fail…to be kind…these are the last words of this face because it’s time for you all to meet the new me…oh, and bow ties are cool
Susan in tears: I’m with you this time Grandfather *clinging to him on the ground*
The Doctor: *smiling softly* good…because now…it’s time for you to say hello to the new me *they see him emit a bright yellow light as they see his face start to change to resemble David Tennant*
Teddy under his breath: oh. My. god.
Louis quietly to the Teddy: so we can both agree the Nazis are fucked, right?
Teddy quietly: yeah, because the best tenth doctor is now for some reason the twelfth incarnation of him…
Chloe quietly to Louis: what the fuck just happened??
Louis quietly somewhat excited: what just happened…is we just witnessed something amazing…the regeneration of a Time Lord, and not just any Time Lord, THE Time Lord
Chloe quietly: …you definitely need to show me Doctor Who sometime so I can understand some of this…
The Doctor: *after blinking then looking at susan* Don’t worry susan…I’m still here…
Susan: …good…
The Doctor: huh…*licking his teeth* …new teeth…feels odd…*semi-joking* …so…how do I look? *getting up with a little help from susan*
Susan laughing softly: you look great, as always grandfather
The Doctor: *laughing softly* that’s good to hear…so we’ve made it out into the vortex…not completely unscathed seeing as how the Tardis is going to need repairs…AGAIN…but we’ll make it back to the base safely
Rosie: okay, now to my question, what the FUCK did YOU LOT… *gesturing to the distraction team* …bloody DO?!?!
Sirius (6246) innocently: just a prank here and there
George innocently: an annoying flick to the neck at superspeed so they wouldn’t notice I was doing it
Allana: a LOT of whizbangs
Percy innocently: just Splashed them with a bit of water
James Sirius and Sirius (62406): dungbombs
Sirius (111605): tricked some nazis into thinking they were force sensitive
Anakin innocently: and all while trash talking them into oblivion
Hudson dryly over comms: multiply that severity of everything they just said by ten…
Both Adelynns dryly: Because of course you did…
Wally, Susan, Hal, Zatanna, Remus (X), Bill, Bobby, and Fives: VADER!!
Miles: GUYS CHILL, THIS IS THE DOPPELGANGER I TOLD YOU HAD KILLED HIM
The others who were captured slowly other than charlie: …oh…
Charlie casually; had I not had my power of morality sensing I probably would’ve assumed the same thing
Fives: well that had to have been one hell of a fight…
Anakin dryly: …it was definitely hell alright
Amenadiel: …to all of you who answered our call to arms from throughout the multiverse thank you for coming here, and helping to bring back my son, and all of these men and women who were held capture
Deadpool: yeah, well we kinda owed you for saving our asses in the last multiverse event so it was the least we could do
Amenadiel: unfortunately, I must be headed back to the silver city with my sister Remiel so I may retake my place as God…Charlie *hugs him* I love you my son, and remember, you are free to visit the silver city anytime you wish
Charlie: I love you too dad, don’t worry, I’ll come visit soon
Remiel: I’m glad I could help you back out of captivity, nephew
Charlie: thanks Aunt Remi
Amenadiel: take Care of Charlie, Luci
Lucifer: I will brother
*suddenly they both disappear in a flap of wings*
Hudson over comms: nice job guys! We’ll see you all when you get back to base!
Remus(X); I can’t believe we’re finally out of there…
Charlie: Things are looking up for us now guys, do you feel it!
Bobby: *smirking with his arm around Fives* yeah, I do…
Susan: *smiling slightly with his arm around charlie* I think we all do…
BONUS SCENE
*later in the war room with Hudson, Aaron, and Evelyn*
Evelyn: …and you’re sure this couldn’t wait until tomorrow? Because I’m sorry, but me and your uncle are REALLY tired after that mission
Hudson: nope! Alright, now to explain…THE WHITEBOARD
Aaron: the whiteboard?
Hudson: THE WHITEBOARD…and the reason why I dropped an F bomb earlier…so I know about uncle A getting assigned to be the manager of the Lux project, and I want to help
Aaron: …I mean I guess the nightclub could use a sound system that we could maybe have you hook up before we open?
Hudson: no, I mean…I want you to ‘hire’ me to help with the spying in Lux
Aaron immediately: no.
Hudson: just let me get through this presentation first before we you respond, please, now, my argument *pulls out a pointer which he uses to point at a picture of a booth* this is a booth in the corner of Lux, my idea is that we say that Aunt ev who I assume you’ve already hired to help with the lux job *pointing at a picture of Evelyn’s Resistance ID photo*
Evelyn: Okay Did you have to use my ID photo, Really??
Hudson: as I was saying…we say that Aunt ev is my mom, and just have me doing a coloring book, or working on something random, and we’ll tell people if anyone asks that I’m just there waiting for my mom to get off of work, that way no one suspects me, now point two people don’t notice kids, they say a lot of stuff around them on accident so imagine all the information I could get, and I’m sure you want proof? Well Exhibit A. Was going to actually be Uncle A *flips the whiteboard and uses the pointer to point at a random picture of Aaron scarfing down a cherry pie*
Evelyn: *laughing at the picture*
Aaron: *blushing slightly* Hudson! How do you even have that?!
Hudson: Let. Me. Finish!
Evelyn through laughter innocently: y-yeah aaron…let him finish.
Hudson: so my point WAS going to be that Uncle Aaron was agent thunderbird which i’ve actually known and kept a secret for a while now
Aaron: That's a lie!
Hudson: I figured you’d say that considering I was in the room when you revealed it earlier today, which is why I was pissed earlier…however, I was also in the room when you and another member of Luci’s angels were discussing angel business about eight months ago, just you didn’t realize it…that member being…CHRISTIAN CHANCE AKA AGENT TAPSTER *pointing to a picture of drunk passed out christian next to a drunk passed out Aaron, Evelyn, Ricky, Sam, and Luis in a circle*
Aaron; Okay, WHERE ARE YOU GETTING THESE PICTURES?!?!
*evelyn dying laughing at his face*
Hudson innocently: that is for me to know, and you to never find out
Aaron: …so you really do know about him? And you knew about me?
Hudson: yep! So what do you say Uncle A? Do I have the job?
Aaron: D–
Hudson: yes I asked my mom, she said if it was okay with you, it’s okay with her
*silence as aaron is thinking (through evelyn’s laughter)*
Aaron: …you know Lucifer has a strict age requirement when it comes to spying for the resistance
Hudson: …if I can get High General Morningstar to be okay with this, will you give me the Job?
Aaron reluctantly: …fine…but ONLY if you could convince lucifer to give you the job, and I need it IN WRITING
Hudson: DEAL!! *hugs him* thanks uncle A! I’ll see you guys later! *wheeling the whiteboard away*
Aaron: …did I just fuck up?
Evelyn: *managing to calm down enough to talk* …as much as I hate to admit it, he did bring up valid points for consideration…but don’t worry, there’s no WAY Lucifer will actually say yes
Aaron: …You’re right, there’s no way…yeah, we’ll be fine…but Seriously HOW DID HE GET THOSE PICTURES
*Evelyn dying in laughter again*
Notes:
A few notes: Note one, Morgan Stark I have fancasted as Ariel Winter, I realized I never stated that before, and Note two that has to do with fancastings, Susan Foreman's current incarnation is Sadie Stanley, Charlie Martin is fancast as Tyrel Jackson Williams, and Zatanna Zatara is fancast as Alexandra Daddario. Next chapter we have "Snowlion: Injuries" but until then, this has been a padjake written story, now, Mischief Managed!
Chapter 12: Snowlion: Injuries
Notes:
Alright, as the title implies this is going to be a CaitlinxLeo emphasized chapter, and as always OCs belong to my friend @wifeofenjolras on wattpad, now on with the chapter!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
*Earth-62406, 2028, a random house in the middle of nowhere Scotland*
Leo Weasley: *deflecting spells* WE’VE SPENT TOO FUCKING LONG CHASING YOU KYRAK, YOU’RE NOT GETTING AWAY THIS TIME
Freddie Weasley: *firing nonverbal spells* BE CAREFUL LEO
Nelson Kyrak: SECTUMSEMPRA *launches a spell at Louis*
Freddie: PETRIFICUS TOTALUS *petrifies Nelson*
*as he petrifies Kyrak Leo manages to cast part of a shield charm so only part of the spell hits him as he then starts dripping blood*
Leo: AH SHIT!! *just barely managing to stay standing as he’s losing blood fast*
Freddie: LEO!!
Leo with a shaky voice: …y-you get Kryak back to the ministry…I’ll s-see you later…*pulls out his extrapolator out and opens a breach*
Freddie: wha–WHERE ARE YOU GOING
Leo innocently: T-to see a doctor about the wound, duh…
Freddie: LEO DONT YOU FUCKING D–
*leo shakily walks through the breach*
Freddie: …Iris is going to fucking kill him…
*In the multiversal bar*
*Oliver sitting in the bar yawns as Leo walks through the breach*
Leo kind of woozy because of the blood loss: heyyyy Olllliiiieeee
Oliver: Hey–LEO?! Oh my god, okay, i’m gonna go ahead and fix you up–
Leo woozy: don’t you d-dare! *whipping out an override card*I-I want you to open a breach to S.T.A.R Labs…so C-Caity can fix my wounds
Oliver getting pissed; …are you a Fucking. IDIOT?!
Leo woozy: yeah, yeah, j-just do it! I have the card don’t I?
Oliver: *grunts as he opens the breach* …Caitlin’s going to fucking kill you, you know that? So is Iris when she finds out
Leo woozy: I’ll be fiiiiiiiineeeee *slowly walks through the breach*
*Earth-Prime, 2026, S.T.A.R Labs cortex, Central City*
Harrison “HR” Wells: I’m telling you P man, these guys can RUN, but odds are I’m going to need at least one other person backing me up to really sell it to BA that should train them by teaching them to be superheroes, and last I saw they already even have suits!
Chester P Runk: …alright, if you say so, I’ll back you HR…mostly because I for SURE need to see these suits, but who designed them?
HR: great! And to answer your question, P man, that would be our buddy San FranCisco for one of them
Chester P: So THAT’S what the suit specs he had me look over were for…huh…
HR: and the other was designed by Morgan Stark of Earth-X
Chester P: as in the future daughter of Tony Stark from the earth where the Nazis won that you guys told us about??
HR: yep!
Chester: You guys seriously have to introduce me sometime
HR: Well, lucky for you, from what I heard from Barry, she’s going to be a part of the giant multiversal DND campaign, so odds are you’ll meet her there
Chester: oh this is going to be EPIC…epic…epic…*doing the echo*
HR: *laughing* I like you P man, you know that?
*just then the breach opens in the cortex*
Chester: what the– *about to contact Barry but then HR stops him*
HR: don’t worry, the breach is green, see! That means it’s one of oliver’s, it probably just means someone is coming to say hi from the multiverse
Chester: Are you sure we shouldn’t call Barry?
HR: don’t worry, it’ll be fine
*just then leo walks through the breach*
Chester: whoa…who the frak are you??
HR cheerfully at first: oh, that’s Caitlin's new boyfriend Leo! Hey there Leo how’re you–*realizes* Whoa you don’t look so good, are you alright?
Leo woozy and pale: Caaaaaaaiiiiiityyyyy I’m heeeeeerrrreee *just then Leo passes out and drops to the ground*
Chester: Shrap shrap SHRAP *running to see if he’s alright*
HR: CAITLIN!! GET IN HERE!! YOUR BOYFRIEND’S HERE!! AND HE’S HURT!!
*Caitlin comes walking in from the Medbay*
Dr. Caitlin Snow: HR what’s going o– *sees leo and goes slightly pale* LEO!! *runs to him to see if he’s alright and notices the blood*
Chester: thank god you’re here caitlin, he just passed out, and he’s losing a LOT of blood
Caitlin: I’ll take it from here chester, I need you and HR to go get a gurney from the Medbay
Chester: yep we’re on it
Caitlin: *lifts up his shirt revealing the small but deep gash*
*just then another breach opens with Iris (Wood) and Freddie walking through it*
Iris: *goes pale seeing him on the floor* LEO!!
Caitlin: Iris, Freddie, you got here just in time, CHESTER, HR, WHERE’S THAT GURNEY
*Chester and HR come rushing in with the gurney*
HR: sorry we were having an issue unlocking th–
*just then another breach opens and Charlotte comes in*
Charlotte Dameron: Heyyy is Cait–*sees what’s going on* *slowly awkwardly*…I’ll come back later
Caitlin: Wait, Stay! Can you force heal in our universe?
Charlotte: …considering you don’t have the force that’s going to be a no?
Caitlin: dang it, okay, Charlotte, I’m sorry, you can go, Freddie, I need you to levitate Leo, keeping his body leveled, onto the gurney, we need to get him to the medbay asap so I can examine the gash and close it up
Freddie: on it *does so*
Caitlin: Chester, help me get him to the medbay, Iris, Freddie, I’ll need you two to stay out here with HR so I can make sure he’ll be alright, Chester, let’s go
Charlotte slowly awkwardly: …I’ll come back when you’re done with…this…*opens a breach and walks through it*
*they start wheeling him to the medbay*
Iris: Bu–
HR: don’t worry Iris, Leo’s in good hands, I would without question consider her to be one of the greatest doctors in central city
Iris still freaking out: really?
HR: yeah, you know she once stayed awake during HER OWN SURGERY, in order to guide the person who was performing the surgery, because while they did have some medical field training, they had only ever done one surgery in battle before her, so she stayed awake and guided the guy on what to do to save her life, WITHOUT PAINKILLERS, because that would’ve clouded her mind and she might’ve said the wrong thing
Iris: WHAT?!?!
HR: there’s a reason why she’s Barry’s doctor…well that and because she’s the only one that can really treat speedsters, that and she’s one of the few people on this earth who he trusts with her identity
Freddie: bloody merlin…
HR: AND she once delivered a baby to a woman while she knew a satellite was heading towards central city, and was going to crash and kill everyone
Freddie slowly: …okay Iris, I’m freaking out too, but I think maybe there’s a chance he’ll be fine…
Iris: …I’m still going to be freaking out about him, but knowing that does make me feel a bit better…thanks HR
HR: Hey, anytime! what are friends for
*just then the breach opens and Holly comes through with George (62406)
HR: Holly! George! Good to see you both…although as I’m saying this i’m guessing it’s probably because of leo?
Holly Weasley dryly because she’s panicking: no, we just came here to see Star labs again, OF COURSE IT'S BECAUSE OF LEO HR
George Weasley (62406) panicking but trying to be reasonable here: Hols, Breathe…It’s good to see you too HR, where is he?
HR: Caitlin is in the medbay examining the wound and potentially performing surgery if needed, but don’t worry you two, it’s like I just told these two, Caitlin is easily one of the best doctors in central city, She Literally Stayed awake during her own surgery once in order to guide the person performing the surgery through it, AND she once delivered a baby to a woman while she knew a satellite was heading towards central city, and was going to crash and kill everyone
George (62406): …okay, I know we’re all worried about Leo, but I really like those odds
Freddie: that’s literally JUST what I was telling Iris
*chester comes out of the medbay to the cortex*
Chester: hey guys…I just realized I didn’t introduce myself although Holly and George I remember, but as for you two, they call me Chester P, I’m team flash’s resident Tech Guru, so Caitlin sent me out to give the news about Leo
Iris: nice to meet you, but what news about leo, what’s going on? Is he alright?
Chester: he will be, apparently Caitlin managed to get to work just in time to save his life, however, he needs a blood transfusion due to the amount of blood he lost, is there any chance we could get any of the four of you would be willing to donate? It’s always best from a direct relative
Iris: of course, he’s my twin, odds are it’d be best coming from me
Chester: great, oh, real quick, none of you were drinking within the last twenty four hours were you?
Iris, Freddie, Holly, and George (62406): uhhhhh…
HR: All four of you? Really?! What was going on last night??
Iris: …the semi-annual weasley family potluck party…don’t you have any in reserves??
Chester: Caitlin’s fresh out…
HR: …what the hell, what’s his blood type? I’ll do it
Iris: B negative
HR: …dammit, sorry to tell you I’m A negative
Freddie: thank you for the offer anyway HR…
Chester: …wait…I’ll be right back *quickly leaves to the medbay and comes back in like five minutes* …okay, so Caitlin’s the same blood type and she’s going to do it, so he’ll be okay
Freddie: hang on, she’s going to donate her own blood, in order to keep him alive…wait hang on, how is she going to drain her own blood??
Chester: we have a machine that does it, believe it or not this isn’t the first time she’s had to perform on herself…sort of…
Iris: we know
HR: I already told them about the thing with Julian
Chester: Okay, also before you ask how we’ll be able to prepare the blood for transfusion so fast, the machine that extracts blood also does that, all caitlin will have to do after is put it in a bag, and set up the IV I just need to help her get the machine set up, I’ll come get you when caitlin says you can come in *leaves back to the medbay*
HR: …if you don’t mind me asking, do any of you know how this happened?
Freddie: we’ve spent the last month chasing after this dark wizard serial killer, linked to missing persons cases dating all the way back to when our parents and maybe even when our GRANDPARENTS, were in hogwarts, Nelson Kyrak, today we were following a lead which led to us finally finding him at his house in the middle of nowhere scotland, we dueled for a little bit, he managed to fight us off for a while, I managed to petrify him, but unfortunately the moment I had let off my petrificus totalus, he had let off a Sectumsempra, lucky for us Leo had already had part of a shield charm up so it didn’t hit him as bad…otherwise…
HR: Sectumsempra, that’s that cool spell that acts like a sword and creates GIANT–
Freddie dryly: HR.
HR: *realizing* I mean that awful spell that creates terrible wounds in its victim, the one created by Snape, right?
Iris paling slightly: …yeah, that’s the one…
HR: but remember, Chester just said that thanks to caitlin he’s going to be fine, why don’t you guys follow me for now, and I’ll take you guys to the lounge, get you guys something to drink, maybe some coffeeeeee *leaving to the lounge*
Holly as they follow him: …I’m not sure why…but I like him
George (62406) bluntly: is it because he’s obviously a fellow coffee addict and is about to feed your coffee addiction?
Holly innocently: maybe?
Freddie: you know it’s kind of weird…we’ve met dad’s doppelganger and he’s basically the same personality wise, and same goes for grandpa sirius’ doppelgangers, uncle james, aunt lily, uncle remus, aunt tonks, and every other doppelganger we’ve met are almost exactly the same, yet we met all three of the wells are almost COMPLETELY different from one another
HR: you know I can hear you right?
Freddie: sorry…
HR: It’s fine And you’re right, some doppelgangers are more similar than others, you guys have just gotten really lucky, and we do have our similarities, *semi-joking, semi-smug* we’re all equally as handsome for one, we’re all good people who’ve helped in the fight against evil meta-humans, other than wells the grey, wells 2.0, and timeless wells none of us have powers
Iris: that’s true, we do also have to remember that Anakin’s Earth-X doppelganger became the fuhrer
Freddie: Okay, but all considering is that really the biggest stretch?
Iris: …fair…
*when they get to the lounge*
HR: Welcome to the lounge! Me personally this is my favorite room in the building because its where we keep the coffee makers
Holly: …okay, I’ll admit it, I like you because you’re a fellow coffee addict
HR: why thank you, but to be fair, on my earth all coffee crops were wiped out by the blight
Freddie: …the blight?
HR: yep, killed all the coffee crops, so when I got here and I got coffee again, I was SO happy
Holly: rightfully so…and I feel so bad for those poor people on–
HR: Earth-19
Holly: earth-19, yes…
Iris: …isn’t that the same universe where Aaron and Evelyn Tveit were the vice president and second lady?
HR: at one point, yep
*Meanwhile about fifteen minutes later with caitlin, chester, and leo*
Chester: *looking at a monitor* …alright, vitals are good, bloods pumping, and his body is taking it well, everything seems to be in order now
Caitlin: *looking after good, and it looks like he should be waking up soon
Chester: Do you want me to go tell the others that they can come in?
Caitlin: …could you maybe…give us a couple minutes, then go tell them?
Chester: Of course…*walks out of the Medbay*
Caitlin: *standing by Leo sighs* What am I going to do with you?
*just then leo starts shifting slightly and groaning*
Caitlin: *gently holding his body to keep him from moving too much* Easy Leo…
Leo weakly starting to wake up and open his eyes: …Caity? What’re y—*remembers* oh bloody hell…
Caitlin dryly: I take it you’re remembering what incredibly stupid decisions brought you here?
Leo slowly defensively: …it’s not entirely stupid considering you saved me
Caitlin dryly: you do realize that it would’ve been a lot easier just to go see a doctor on your earth, right? You REALLY should not have been on your feet so fast, let alone tried to make it to star labs…and why didn’t Oliver Help you–*realizing* …Oh PLEASE Tell me you DIDN’T
Leo weakly: …in my defense…it’s been a month since I’ve been able to see you because of this fucking Kyrak case me and Freddie have been working on…I missed you
Caitlin: you don’t think I missed you too Leo? …and I’m kind of flattered by what you did…but that doesn’t mean I’m not upset, because you could’ve DIED…listen, I love what we have, and I love you…however, if you EVER try something like this again I will break up with you, because I’d REALLY like not to lose the man I love, not again…
Leo softly realizing: …Caity…I’m sorry…I should’ve known–I should’ve realized how this would’ve affected you, with what you had gone through with Ronnie…I promise, I won’t do this again…Ever.
Caitlin: good…now…we do likely have a minute alone before chester comes back with your family
Leo: My family's HERE?!
Caitlin: careful…we don’t want to raise your blood pressure too much, you just had a transfusion done
Leo: *takes a breath* …they’re going to kill me aren’t they?
Caitlin: …probably…but as I was saying, we do have a minute alone probably before Chester comes back with your family…
Leo: what’re you thinking
Caitlin: all I’m saying is, I missed you too…*slowly leans in and kisses Leo deeply while he’s lying in the bed*
Leo: *kisses back and smirks* I missed that
Caitlin innocently: good, because just so you know, kisses like that are the most you’re going to be getting until I take those stitches out in a week, we wouldn’t want to accidentally pop one now would we?
Leo: …shit…
Caitlin: and no, you can’t use magic, or have oliver heal it and have them taken out, if you do, I’ll know when you come so I can check in a week
Leo: Wait! Why not?!
Caitlin innocently: because if you wanted Oliver to heal you should’ve done that before coming here, and if you have those stitches removed before I say that you’re good to go, that one week is becoming two
Leo: *sighs* okay, fineeee…*innocently* …you said those kisses are the most I’m going to be getting for the next week, is there any chance I can at least get another one?
Caitlin: *sighs* I suppose that’s possible *leans in and kisses him*
Leo: *kissing back*
Iris under her breath: Oh god, now I know what that’s like for to walk in on that *clears her throat*
*caitlin immediately separates from leo while blushing slightly*
Caitlin and Leo at the same time: Iris?!
Iris dryly: I really hope you didn’t go to easy on him
Caitlin: well……
Iris: okay, so you still gave him the shovel talk
Caitlin snorting softly: I wouldn’t put it like that, but if you want to call it that, yes, I did
Iris: good, because now it’s my turn…if you could maybe, step away from my brother’s bed?
Caitlin: sure? *slowly backs away from the bed*
Leo under her breath: oh god…
Iris: …just so I’m sure before I do this, how’s he doing?
Caitlin: his blood is taking mine well and everything seems to be stable for the moment
Leo in shock: WAIT BACK UP…did you just say YOUR blood? YOU GAVE ME YOUR BLOOD??
Caitlin: …yes, you lost a lot of blood and needed a blood transfusion, we were out of reserves, all of your family members were apparently drinking last night, and apparently we’re the same blood type so it worked out
Leo: …Caitlin I–you–Why?!
Caitlin bluntly: your life was on the line, and even if you weren’t my boyfriend, I’m still a doctor, and you’re still my patient, sworn to do everything in my power to make sure my patient doesn’t die
Leo: …okay, I know I’ve said before, but I’ll say it again, I am the LUCKIEST man in the whole damn MULTIVERSE…
Iris: yes, you are, because had you died, I would’ve fucking brought you back to life JUST so I could kill you again
Leo under his breath: and here we go…
Iris: I swear to fucking GOD, LEO WEASLEY, You gave all of us a fucking heart attack, going here, after being seriously wounded, When you shouldn’t have been walking AT ALL, and instead of waiting for the emergency healers to arrive, you came HERE, honestly, I can’t believe you, honestly what surprises me almost even more about this whole incident is that Oliver didn’t try to heal you the moment he saw you in the–*realizes* …Bar…I swear to god…Please tell me you DIDN’T…
Leo slowly innocently: didn’t what?
Iris pissed: THAT YOU DIDN'T USE ONE OF YOUR ONLY THREE OVERRIDE CARDS, THAT YOU ONLY GET WHEN THE MULTIVERSE IS IN DANGER, TO GET OLIVER TO LET YOU COME HERE WITHOUT HEALING YOU
Leo trying to semi-joke to try to change: *pale as a ghost (and not just because of the blood loss)* …for fucks sake sis, I think you’ve finally become more terrifying than mum
Iris getting more pissed: …oh my god, You DID, DIDN’T YOU?!
Leo: …which one is going to make you less pissed?
Iris Pissed off: LEO FUCKING WEASLEY, YOU BLOODY IDIOT, PUTAIN CRÉTINE(fucking idiot), MONGOL HUEVON (retarded moron),
Leo under his breath: …Jesus, she’s breaking out the multilingual swearing that’s not a good sign
Caitlin recognizing the languages but not knowing what she said: you know French AND Spanish?!
Leo: we know all of the swears and insults, not much else, grandpa sirius can translate anything between like seven languages, same goes for uncle reggie, and Victoire, Louis, and Dominique are all fluent in french, and obviously so is aunt fleur, and Teddy knows French and a few other languages for some reason, but other than that, we don’t know shit…is there any chance we’re done here?
Iris pissed still: NO, I can’t BELIEVE YOU LEO, Coming here, USING AN OVERRIDE CARD, TO KEEP HIM FROM HEALING YOU, JUST TO SEE YOUR GIRLFRIEND, YOU FUCKING IDIOT, I swear to god if You EVER try some bullshit like this again, I will Personally make sure you don’t live to see another day, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?
Leo: *pale* …got it…message received…
Freddie: *Walking in* Jesus Iris, that was bloody worse than mum, like really, we were all watching from the Star labs security feed with chester on a tablet he had on him, and that was so fucking terrifying it even convinced mum to go easy on her when her and dad eventually come in, so i’ll just make mine quick, You’re an idiot…also just so you know the entire family is waiting at the multiversal Bar to yell at you when you come back about your bullshit
Caitlin: well I’m sorry to have to tell you, you’ll have to tell them that they’re going to have to wait until tomorrow, because he needs to rest and I need to keep him here overnight for observation just in case if there are any complications
Freddie: I’ll let them all know…also…I can’t believe it happened…only a month and you two have already had your infamous weasley couple moment
Caitlin slowly: what’s he talking about?
Leo: oi, you can’t talk considering you had yours literally when you and gwen first got together…also to answer the question Caitlin, all weasley couples have one infamous moment in their relationship that is either awkward, dangerous, shitty, overprotective, or all of the above and ends up somehow involving everyone in the weasley family, for us it was this, for Freddie and Gwen it was the time they confessed their feelings for eachother on speakerphone because Gwen didn’t know the conversation could be private and Freddie didn’t know they were still on speakerphone, and Iris and Aidan’s was what was known as the finnigan incident, that tied with the fact that they literally went on a date ON VALENTINES DAY, and somehow didn’t get together, and they had been pining for each other for years
Caitlin: bu–How??
Freddie and Gwen: LEO
Leo: Am I LYING?!?!
Iris: whatever, yours is still easily the worst one considering at least none of us almost DIED during our couple moments
Caitlin: …you don’t need to answer this but, I’m curious…How did this even happen anyway?
Leo: …well…do you know how I haven’t been able to get too much time off in the last month because of the Kyrak case we had been working on that I had told you about?
Caitlin: the one with that serial kidnapper slash killer linked to crimes dating back to the 90s and MAYBE 70s?
Leo: yeah, well, we found him, and well…all I’ll say is that I’m glad I had at least a shield charm PARTIALLY up already
Caitlin: …Leo? ...was the spell used?
Leo: I–uhhhhh…
Caitlin: leo…
Leo: uhhh…
Caitlin: LEO
Leo slowly: …Sectumsempra…
Caitlin: as in the spell that can create large GASHES on your body like it was caused by a sword??
Leo slowly: yes…
Caitlin: …AND YOU STILL THOUGHT TO COME HERE FIRST INSTEAD OF WAITING FOR FIRST AID?!?!
Leo slowly defensively: …okay, going a whole month with barely being able to talk to you, combined with extreme blood loss, admittedly isn’t the BEST combination…
Caitlin: LEO
Iris to Freddie: …if I haven’t said this before, I’ll say it now, I definitely like her
Freddie: Agreed
*just then Holly and George walk in with HR and Chester*
George: hey Leo
Holly: how’s he doing Caitlin?
Caitlin: a lot better than when he got here, just so you know I’m going to need to keep him here overnight for observation
Holly: good…you gave us all a bloody heart attack you know that?
Leo: ….sorry…
George: honestly, when Freddie sent out the patronus we got here as soon as we could
Freddie: oh! I just remembered, Uncle Har and Aunt ‘mione said you and I are getting a month off, paid vacation as a reward for all of the hard work we put into the kyrak case, yours not officially starting until you get however long it takes for you to be fully recovered, and no, they’re not counting the recovery time against your paycheck either
Leo: oh FUCK YEAH *about to pump his fist in the air but has to stop himself because of the pain*
Freddie: Yeah, and who knows, we maybe we’ll even end up getting promoted when this is all over
Leo: Who knows? maybe
Iris dryly: Injuries aside, you two brought in a known serial killer and kidnapper, who has been on the run since the nineties maybe even seventies, He’s been on the run for over THIRTY, maybe fifty, YEARS, and you two of all Aurors managed to find him, I’d be surprised if you didn’t end up getting promotions after your vacation is over
George: so how long is he going to need to recover?
Caitlin: well, the transfusion is going to take another three hours to finish completing, and tomorrow morning, assuming everything is normal he’ll be able to go home, he’ll need another 24 hours of nothing but rest before he should be back on his feet fully, then I’ll check the stitches in a week, and I should be able to remove them then, and he’ll be fine after that
Leo: great!
Iris: …hang on, will he be able to compete in the riff off in a couple of days?
Leo realizes: Wait, yeah, that’s a pretty important question
Caitlin: well…the riff off is in five days…you should be fine as long as he doesn’t put too much stress on the stitched up area, that is unless you WANT to pop a stitch
Leo: YES…to being able to compete I mean, not to wanting to pop a stitch
Caitlin: *snorts softly* I’d hope so…although that’s not changing the fact that earth prime is totally going to win that
All of the Weasleys in the room innocently: Suuuuuure you are
HR: yeah, we ARE, we’ve got BA, We’ve got Me, we’ve got our buddy San FranCisco, We’ve got Caitlin, not to mention our secret weapon
Leo: and that is?
Caitlin innocently: Wouldn’t exactly be a secret if we told you what it is, now would it? …oh, also Leo, would now be a bad time to tell you that my mom wants to meet you?
Leo: she what?
Caitlin: yeah…I might have mentioned about how you and I are dating and how you and I are in love last time I visited her, and she insisted that we make plans for the three of us to have dinner together
Leo: wait WHAT?!?!
Caitlin: my mom can sometimes be a little…assertive from time to time…and it doesn’t really help that last time I was in love with someone, that being Ronnie, she never met him, so she wanted to try to make sure that doesn’t happen again
Leo: hang on, she never met ronnie?
Caitlin: …her and I haven’t always had the GREATEST relationship…she got better, eventually, and we’re in a really good place now, but because of that, no, she never met ronnie
Leo: oh…alright, when is it? Also what’s her name?
Caitlin slowly: Carla Tannhauser and as for when it is…next week?
Leo: …is it before or after the stitches come off…?
Caitlin slowly: …the day of…
Leo: …again, before or after the stitches come off?
Caitlin: …that depends on when you come in to have them removed…
Leo: okay, fine, what time is it, and where is it?
Caitlin: 8 pm at my apartment
Leo: …alright, I’ll be there
Caitlin; great! I’ll let her know that you’re able to make it
Holly: alright, so who’s staying with leo while everyone else heads back home, I’m nominating myself
Caitlin: you can all head back if you want, considering I’m his doctor in this situation and I need to stay here anyway, I can make sure he’s alright
Iris: no offense Caitlin, it’s not that we don’t trust you or anything, hell you literally gave your own blood to keep him alive, but at least one of us is staying here until he can go home
Caitlin sighing: and I suppose there’s no talking any of you out of this?
Iris, Holly, Freddie, and George: nope!
Caitlin: …give me a second to make a call to Barry, alright? and I’ll see what we can do about you all staying here the night
*leaves the room*
Leo sighing: why am I not surprised?
Freddie: because this is the least surprising thing we have done
Caitlin: *comes back in the room*
Leo: well that was fast
Caitlin: yeah, I just had to let Barry know what was going on, so we have two spare rooms with mattress cots and I’ll show you where we keep the spare linens and pillows
Freddie: …wait, so you just have two spare rooms for people to sleep in?
HR: because, 1. I live here 2. Harry and Jesse have lived here 3. Sherloque has lived here and 4. Other people have had to temporarily had to live here
Holly: huh…
Chester: actually me and HR can show them, so that way you can stay here and Monitor Leo
Caitlin: thanks guys…wait there haven’t been any emergencies in Central City while this has been going on, have there?
Chester: nope, we got lucky and this happened on a slow day
Caitlin: okay, good
Iris: I’ll stay with Caitlin and Leo for now, you guys can just show me where we’re sleeping later
Freddie: got it, but after this I have to go let the rest of the family know that you’re not coming back until tomorrow morning at least *the five leave*
Leo bluntly calling out to him: MAKE SURE YOU GIVE CONTEXT
Caitlin slightly confused: …why, what’ll happen if he doesn’t give context?
Leo: let’s see, I came here to see my hot doctor girlfriend, and he just said that he was going to tell them that I’m not going back to our universe until at least next morning, I don’t think you need to be a doctor to do that math on what they’ll assume
Caitlin: *realizes* …okay, yeah, I can understand now why they need context
Leo: yeah…how long am I stuck in this bed for?
Caitlin: you can get up and move around, I have the blood bag attached to a mobile cart, but I wouldn’t recommend moving too much…but to answer the question, the transfusion will be done in three hours
Leo dully: well this is going to be a boring three hours
Iris: yeah, well this is what you get for trying to come here injured
Leo dryly: you’re never going to let this go are you
Iris: Nope!
*leo dryly groans*
Notes:
Next chapter is the first of the Multiversal D&D chapters, "Multiversal D&D: the Elven tribe," but until then, this has been a Padjake written story, now, mischief Managed!
Chapter 13: Multiversal D&D: the Elven Tribe
Notes:
Alright, the chapter is as the title implies, the first of the multiversal dnd sessions, and now as always, all credits for OCs except steve go to @wifeofenjolras whjo you can find on wattpad, now, on with the chapter!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
*in the multiversal Bar*
Oliver Queen/Green Arrow/the Spectre: *sighing dryly* today’s the day…*just then Barry, Cisco, and Chester all come in through a breach*
Barry Allen/The Flash (Prime): hey oliver!
Oliver sighing dryly: Hey Barry
Chester P Runk (Prime) wearing elf ears: whoa…Oliver Frakkin Queen, you and I met briefly the last two times you were on earth-prime, it’s an honor to meet you again
Oliver: It's fine, Chester, you don’t need to do all of that…
Barry innocently: you ready for dnd tonight Ollie?
*Oliver groans dryly*
Chester: ……not that I’m complaining, because I’m going to get to play dnd with THE Green frakkin Arrow, but how are did you get him to agree to this, this REALLY doesn’t seem like something that’s in character for Oliver based on what I’ve heard about him
Barry cheerfully: I used an override card!
Chester; what’s an override card?
Cisco Ramon/Vibe (prime): it's these cards Oliver makes when he’s drunk sometimes that allow us to make him do things he doesn’t want to do with his powers, only way to get one normally is at the multiversal after party at the bar where once Oliver gets drunk enough he makes three for everyone, Barry has four, I have three
Chester: huh…also I don’t know how experienced you are with dnd cisco, but it feels weird to be doing it this way
Cisco: yeah, but to be fair, Peter did have to adjust for the insane amount of people we have
Chester cheerfully: I still can’t believe SPIDER-MAN is DM-ing our sessions! I have a feeling this is going to be… *doing the echo* …Epic-epic-epic
Cisco: So where's the game going to be?
Oliver: same room as multiversal poker night, Peter’s in there getting set up with his girlfriend MJ, and Cassie
Barry: hang on, what’s this about a multiversal poker night?
Cisco: ……You’ll find out soon enough
Barry slowly confused; okay?
*just then another breach opens up and Charlotte and Poe come through*
Charlotte Dameron (364): hey guys!
Chester freaking out: y-YOU’RE POE DAMERON
Poe slowly somewhat confused: …I am? And You are?
Chester: *excitedly shaking his hand* Chester P Runk, they call me Chester P
Poe: *shaking his hand* Okay, Chester? It’s nice to meet you?
Charlotte quietly teasingly: *laughing* he has almost as much energy as you do
Chester freaking out: you Were my one of my FAVORITE parts of the Star wars sequel trilogy, hell, you were one of the few things that made it redeemable
Poe: what is he–*remembers*...wait that’s the–
Cisco: …fictional series you were in on my earth, yes, yes it is, Chester’s a friend of me and Barry, Caitlin, and our Iris, he took over for me at S.T.A.R labs as Team Flash’s tech guru after I left to Star City to work for A.R.G.U.S
Poe: ohhhh…cool!
*just then Quill comes through the breach*
Peter Quill/Star-Lord: what’s going on guys!
Chester: is THAT–
Quill: whoa! Who’s the newbie? Nice to meet you, Peter–
Chester: *shaking his hand* Quill, Legendary outlaw, and former leader of the guardians of the Galaxy!
Quill: *shaking his hand*……you’re from one of the universes where I’m fictional aren’t you?
Cisco: *snorts softly* yep, he’s from ours, Quill, this is me and Barry’s buddy, Chester, he’s team flash’s current tech guru, took over for me after I moved
Quill: huh…
Cisco: I’m giving you guys the heads up now, he’s pretty similar to me, so he’s going to be like how I was when first meeting you guys…only he won’t know the outliers
*just then another breach opens and Holly, George (62406), Remus, Rosie, Tonks (62406), Dominique, Scorpius, Lily Luna, Freddie, and Gwen all come through*
Freddie Weasley wearing elf ears: who’s ready for some D&D!
Remus Lupin (62406): *sighing dryly* I can’t believe I agreed to do this again, and that my scattering with the siriuses is part of what inspired this
Nymphadora “Tonks” Lupin (62406) who has her ears changed to look like elf ears* I mean, our sirius, knew about it considering we’ve done D&D campaigns before
Scorpius Malfoy: true, but this I can tell you is going to be more chaotic
Tonks dryly: more chaotic than the Weasley clan dnd campaigns? Really?
Charlotte innocently: hi, I don’t believe we’ve met, Charlotte Dameron, aka, part of the reason why things are going to be more chaotic
Gwen Weasley: yeah, that’s definitely true
Tonks: call me Tonks
Charlotte; …your name is tonks?
Tonks; Maiden name, but yeah
Charlotte: …wait, you’re remus’ wife, right?
Remus: that’s right
Charlotte; why do you have people call you by your maiden name?
Tonks bluntly: well it used to just be my last name, but that’s none of your business, now is it?
Charlotte: alright fair enough
Dominique Weasley: oh this shit’s going to be fun
Rosie Black: I agree, this is DEFINITELY going to be fun
Lily Luna: did everyone bring their dice sets?
All of the DnD regulars: yep!
Quill pulling one out: literally just bought mine yesterday
Charlotte: Wait, we were supposed to already have those??
Holly: ……How the fuck did you make your character sheets without them??
Rosie: I might’ve lent Charlotte a set when I helped her get set up, I don’t know what she did after with poe
Charlotte: I came to the bar and did it here with Poe, and i was going to ask Ben to get me and poe sets, but i forgot
Rosie: eh, it’s fine, odds are peter already has extra dice considering he’s a DM, I’d lend you my spare pouch, but I have a feeling Ben doesn’t have one either
*just then Aurora and Sirius (111605) come in through a breach*
Sirius Malfoy-Black(111605): I’m telling you ‘rory, you’re going to LOVE this
Aurora Malfoy-Black messing with him: you know for someone who hated homework back in hogwarts you really seem to be a really interested in what feels like making homework
Sirius dryly: It’s not homework
Aurora innocently: you’re doing maths, to figure out how to build your character, and actually play
Sirius dryly: It’s more than that ‘rory
Aurora innocently: I know love, I just like messing with you
Sirius: *sighing somewhat lightly* you’re lucky I love you
Aurora: *smiling softly* I know
Chester freaking out: wait a second… you’re SIRIUS BLACK!! …But as a ghost?
Sirius (111605): ……okay, who brought the newbie?
Barry: that’d be me and Cisco, guys, this is our friend, Chester
Chester: It's nice to meet you! But, out of curiosity, why are you a ghost?
Sirius slowly: because, I died?
Chester: right, right, I got that but, HOW are you a ghost?
Sirius: Force ghost given–
Chester: –more of a stable corporeal form thanks to Oliver’s spectral particles!
Sirius: ……how did you–
Chester; I may or not be a little bit of a nerd…also, so that means you’re from the universe where both Star Wars, AND Harry potter stuff exists
Sirius jokingly: considering he’s my godson I’m going to say yes
Cisco: this is why I told you to read the fic
Chester: Sorry, man, that’s going to be a no…
Cisco: dammit…you know what, I still got Sara to do it, that’s still a win
Barry: You got Sara, as in Sara Lance, to read one of the fics?
Cisco: yes, yes, I did
*just then Ben, Ahsoka, Allana, and George (111605) all come through a breach*
Ahsoka Tano: So, out of curiosity, how unhinged are you going for this Allana?
Allana Weasley innocently: considering that Rosie said you could be almost as unhinged as possible
George Weasley (111605): well this doesn’t surprise me at all
*allana with the most innocent smile*
Ben Skywalker: *sighing dryly* this isn’t going to end well is it?
Everyone who plan’s on causing chaos in this game: Nope!
Rosie: hey ben!
Ben: *smiling slightly* hey, rosie
Rosie: …random question, I’m going to guess you don’t have a dice set yet?
Ben: …I forgot?
Rosie: that’s what I thought, catch *tosses him a small cloth pouch filled with dice*
Allana: uhhh, we Also don’t have dice sets
Rosie: like I told Charlotte, and Poe, I’m pretty sure, peter’s probably going to have extra
Oliver: she’s right, I saw him come through the breach with a whole box of dice sets, I didn’t even need to make any
Rosie: great!
*just then Tej and Ramsey both walk through a breach*
Tej Parker: how’s it going you guys!
Ramsey cheerfully: are you lot ready to roll some nat 20s?
Dominique; that depends…is a sorcerer’s favorite spell fireball?
Ramsey: only Bloody ALWAYS
*the two of them hi-five*
Charlotte; you guys are really into this game aren’t you?
Barry: well, I started getting into it last year after Chester got me, Iris, and a couple others to play
Cisco: and I used to play this game all the time in college, and have played a bit with Chester
Quill: yeah, and I haven’t played this game since I was eight, but me and my mom used to love this game, and thanks to Peter, I was able to relearn the rules pretty quickly
Rosie: and my family has been playing this game since its release back in the 70s since Aunt Lils got my mom, dad, and the marauders to try the game with her since she heard it was a game that involved maths, AND adventure, so she thought she could use it to trick them all into learning…well more accurately my dad and my uncle james, my mum didn’t take much convincing, and neither did uncle moony,
Aurora: *snorts softly* that honestly is bloody genius, and definitely sounds like something Lils would do
Ramsey: well I’ve been playing this game for quite some time now
Tej: and then she made me try it, and it’s actually not that bad…and then we made everyone else try it with this*laughing suddenly*
Sirius (111605) knowing the laugh of a man who's done something: what did you do?
Ramsey: *snorts knowing what he did*
Tej…okay, Nobody tell anyone outside of this room, but since Rome was dumb enough to let ME make his sheet for him, WITHOUT looking it over, I decided to have some fun with it
Rosie: what did you do with his sheet?
Tej: ……I taught him how to multiclass and made his character a barbarian bard multiclass, and this is where the more fun part comes in, who’s a female dwarf named, Brynhild Motormouth
*everyone who’s met Roman just starts laughing*
Oliver: and with that I think everyone’s here
Tej: Hold up a second, where’s Peter? Isn’t he supposed to be our dm?
*just then Peter comes through a set of swinging bar doors*
Peter: I’m in here! If you could all follow me into the campaign room, Cassie and MJ are already in the room
Oliver: *getting up with a beer still in his hand* you heard him, let’s go
*they all walk in and see a long table with a bunch of sheets of paper on it and a couple of dice trays, and they see two girls, one being cassie, and the other being MJ, as well as pouches on top of each, inside of dice trays as well as the Bar with several different glasses, and another table covered with snacks*
Peter: I got a bunch of snacks and appetizers over there for anyone who’s interested, there’s also plates, and I got Oliver to already have everyone’s favorite drinks, alcoholic and non-alcoholic, ready to go, they’re all over on the bar, and I have everyone’s character sheets layed out for them, oh, and you all know cassie already, and this is my girlfriend MJ
MJ Watson casually: *wearing elf ears* hey *waves lightly*
Dominique: *blinking for a second* peter…did you bring all of that food or did you have Oliver make it
Peter: …I didn’t want to trouble Mister Queen more than I already have for the room, so yes, I made all of this
Chester: okay, I know we’ve only met one other time before today, but I think you might be my favorite DM
Peter: thanks Mr Runk!
Chester: Just call me chester…as a fellow DM, I am IMPRESSED
Peter: thanks!
Oliver: Peter, it wouldn’t have been much trouble at all, you could’ve just asked, considering I can make anything happen in here with my powers
Peter; it’s fine mister queen
Oliver; *looking around notices a bunch of decorations, some just general dnd decorations, some elvish specific ones of like trees, as well as fake leaves on the floor, and a sign that says “Welcome to the kingdom of Lindoin,” as well as a nice green tablecloth* Okay, I didn’t do these decorations…Peter…did you decorate the Room yourself too??
Peter: yeah, I got here early before Cassie and MJ did so I figured I’d start getting set up
Tej: damn, this is a nice setup…
Rosie: you did ALL OF THIS, just for this campaign, all by yourself?
MJ: I told him, he didn’t need to but SOMEONE…*looking at peter* …doesn’t always like asking for help
Peter: It’s fine, I just don’t–
MJ: peter. We have been over this. You asking for help is not a Bother.
Peter: …right…
Lily Luna quietly to scorpius: those two are endgame, I can tell
Peter: but we still haven’t even gotten to the best part– or in my opinion–
Sirius (111605): sorry to interrupt, but before we do, I’m sorry, but some of us don’t have dice sets yet, and we were told that you might have extra
Peter: actually, yes, I did foresee that, which I’ll get to that when I show that best part that I mentioned you when after you all get your first plates and drinks
*everyone does so then goes to sit down by their respective character sheets*
Quill: *noticing a red dice pouch on top of his character sheet* oh, I see you gave us all dice sets to borrow just in case, it’s fine though, I brought my own
Peter innocently: I did, but you might want to look closer at the pouch and what’s in it before you decide that…
Barry: *picks up what is a red dice pouch* Is this velvet? *notices his has the initials BA on it and has the flash logo stitched into it in yellow stitching* and is this custom stitching??
Peter: yep!
Oliver surprised: *having opened his dice set and takes out a emerald green d20 and notices the 1 on the dice is replaced by an arrowhead* …these are custom 3d metal printed dice!!
Peter cheerfully: yep, you all get your own custom dice to keep for being a part of this!
Sirius (111605) slowly confused: ….3d printed?
Remus (62406) dryly: it means he made them himself, without magic
Sirius (111605): HE WHAT?!?!
Rosie: *looking at her gryffindor red metal dice with the a wand with a little spark where the ones should be* Okay, these are REALLY cool
Ahsoka: *examining the light green dice with a little lightsaber where the ones should be* nice touch making it my lightsaber color with a little lightsaber where the ones should be on all the dice
Quill excited: yours has a lightsaber? Mine has my element blasters!
Barry: mine has a lightning bolt that looks like my flash emblem
Chester: mine has a cool little wizard hat
Peter: I wasn’t sure what to do for yours, but then I remembered when Barry came to my earth and gave me the dice him and I talked for a little bit and he told me about how you mostly played as a wizard
Chester: yeah, because it’s one of the best classes
Peter: and I agree, so I decided to do wizard hats for the ones
Chester: ….you're DEFINITELY the best DM I’ve played with
Cisco: oh hey, mine has a little breach on it…wait a second *picking them up* Is this TITANIUM?!?!
Peter: yep!
Cassie: while PIST may be a bit of a smaller school Grandpa Hank, Dr Banner, and my Dad spare no expense when it comes to how much access to technology and resources we’re allowed to use, no matter what it’s for
Poe slowly: Hank as in…Beast?
Cassie: No, I mean hank as in Dr. Hank Pym, he’s the guy who gave my dad his ant-man suit and helped to build mine, and Hope’s, he’s also the Original Ant-Man
Poe: oh…
Dominique: also Back-up, the name of your College is PIST?
Cassie casually: yep, short for the Pym Institute of Science and technology…the college boards wouldn’t let my dad name it “MIT Sucks” so this was his second choice
Holly: *snorts* fair enough
Peter; alright, now before we get started how this campaign is going to work, as you all know by now, due to the size I had to break out my large campaign I was planning before this was suggested, and split you all up into three different sub parties, based on the race you chose, Elf, Human, or Dwarf, in the case of today, we have the elven tribe, eventually, towards the end of the campaign all three parties will meet, but, until then, these people at this table are your allies, and each group is each has a leader, and you do too
Barry: …can you tell us who it is?
Peter: they should be here soon, but they asked that I not say anything until their arrival
*just then the bar doors swing open as Deadpool, without his mask, in a brown cloak with his suit underneath, a blond wig, elf ears, a crown of twigs and leaves, and a bow on his back, and a lute*
Deadpool dramatically as he storms in and takes his seat across from peter at the other head of the table: I QUEEN ZYLFINA WILLOWMANE OF THE WOOD ELVES HAVE ARRIVED
*just then Oliver, Cisco, Poe, Aurora, Rosie, Holly, and Scorpius all groan dryly, as Quill, Charlotte, Freddie, Gwen, Lily Luna, Tonks, Remus, Allana, George, Ahsoka, Tej, Dominique, Ben, and Sirius all just start DYING in laughter*
Peter: Guys c’mon! You don’t need to laugh about this! Mister Wilson, I think you did an AMAZING job with the outfit
Barry; yeah, guys, go easy on him, Wade, I think it looks great too
Chester: yeah, Honestly I can definitely appreciate the dedication, because this outfit looks GREAT
Freddie: …I may not like you…but I can also appreciate the dedication,
Cassie: Nice touch with the crown!
Ramsey: and the Bow, that looks like it came straight out of the lord of the rings
MJ casually somewhat snarkily; ……yeah, considering everyone who’s here is here, that means we’re all nerds in some shape or form or will be by the end of this, so you guys laughing kind of makes it so you’re being kind of hypocritical….
*suddenly everyone who was laughing goes silent*
Deadpool innocently: why THANK YOU, girl I just met, same to you Spidey, Speedy, one name, daughter of pissant, and grandson of padfoot, and other guy I just met, at least SOMEONE knows how to not be rude
Chester; Call me chester!
MJ casually semi-snarkily: the name’s MJ guy who I ALSO Just met
Deadpool: oh shit, so you’re spidey's girlfriend…are you sure you’re Mary Jane Watson?
MJ slowly semi-confused: …Michelle Jones…Watson…?
Deadpool: that’s RIGHT, you’re one of THOSE universes…my bad, but moving on, yes, I Zylfina Willowmane Queen of the Wood Elves will be your sole leader for the majority of this campaign
*groans from about half of the room*
MJ: …….okay, so is this guy really as annoying as Scott says he is, because you all seem to kind of hate him
Peter awkwardly: wellllll…
Cassie: …he is, but he has his moments of not annoying
Deadpool: That's right sugar bear!
MJ getting slightly defensive of cassie: I’m sorry, WHAT did you just call her?
Cassie dully: *sighs* it’s fine, he says that to LITERALLY everyone
MJ: ……okay, I’m starting to regret helping you
Peter: …maybe, we should get started…or mister wilson, if you want to first, Oliver had it set so when you walked in one of your favorite drinks spawned over on the bar counter, also feel free to go and grab yourself a plate of snacks and appetizers that I brought over on the table behind you, and I on top of your character sheet I have a little gift that I gave to everyone
Deadpool: *picks up the red velvet dice pouch and with the custom W.W. initialing and deadpool logo on it* Nice touch with the custom stitching spidey! *takes out a couple of the red metal dice with the ones being replaced by the deadpool logo etched into it* A custom Deadpool dice set?! FUCK YEAH! Thanks Spidey! *puts down the the dice then leaves to get food*
Aurora: …what’re the trays for?
Freddie: Dice trays are the best thing to roll dice on, the interiors are made from the same materials as muggle casinos dice tables are, and nice touch having the interior colors work with the colors of our dice
Peter: thanks! Oh, also I forgot to mention the trays are yours to keep as well, just make sure you bring them back for the next session, same goes for the dice sets, however if you guys can just leave your character sheets and I’ll collect them, just to prevent someone from losing them before the campaign ends, but don’t worry, you’ll get to keep them once the campaign is over
Sirius: got it!
Deadpool: *sits back down with a plate of food and a drink* let’s fucking do this
Peter; now, we can begin the session…in this campaign, there are three kingdoms or tribes, there’s the Elven Tribe of Lidoin, led by Queen Zylfina Willowmane of the wood elves, the dwarf hoard of the hidden mines of Drhan, led by King Thorgarn Burrowgorn, and the last kingdom of man, Númenor, led by Lady Dahlia Thornbloom the Last knight of Orik, there has been a war raging between your three lands for the last couple of decades that have led to countless deaths, including the father of Queen Zylfina, King Zillow Willowmane of the wood elves, the entire bloodline of the kings in the line of orik, as well as many of their knights, and the wife of King Thorgarn, queen Beryndra Burrowgorn, In this campaign, Queen Zylfina Willowmane of the woodelves has gathered you all together, in the beautiful tribe royalty throne room, you the best of the best, for a quest that is to come, not many knowing each other
Deadpool: yes, I Queen Zylfina WIllowmane of the wood elves have gathered you all here, the best of whoever the fuck would show up, because I need help, there is a legendary artifact that our soothsayers have told prophecy about, one that could potentially help end the war, and guarantee our victory, now please, introduce yourselves to each other
Peter: alright, now introduce yourselves to each other, whether or not you want to get into your backstories is up to you
Dominique; so we’re just going to ignore the part about whoever the fuck would show up, okay then, Galenleaf, the last Elvish monk of glandriel, who are the rest of you people
Charlotte: …the name’s Holarona, I’m a bard, who had to deal with the loss of many from a young age, after my brother had turned to the side of evil, my uncle after that had disappeared to only the one knew, leading to a war between that of good and evil, then eventually I’d meet my brother again, he tortured me, and my husband to be, then eventually when next we’d meet, he’d go as far as killing our father when he gave him a chance at redemption, and I saw it happen, after which there were many more battles, and eventually I’d end up losing my uncle too, and my mother, as well as one of my best friends, only for the war to eventually end with me, my brother, and one of my other best friends having to come face to face with an undead embodiment of evil and assholery, and I came out on top…and then you know, a bunch of other shit ended up happening where I ended up joining the tribe…oh and my instrument is a flute
*silence*
Chester: okay, i’m just going to say it…that was a BADASS backstory–
Cisco whispers to chester: yeah, not your fault considering you didn’t know one hundred percent, but she’s poe’s wife and Ben Solo, now Skywalker’s twin sister
Chester slowly realizing: ohhhh–oh, OH SCHRAP, that’s my bad I’m SO sorry, I didn’t mean to be insensitive or anything, I just didn’t realize that that was based on–
Charlotte: It's fine…I’m guessing no one fully explained to you that I’m Ben's sister?
Chester: No…no they did not
Charlotte: Well then you had no way of really knowing, so it’s fine… but admittedly…*casually innocently with a light smirk* …I do have to agree… It does make kind of a badass backstory
Chester slowly awkwardly: *lets out a weak laugh* …yeah…I guess I’ll go, *clears his throat* My name is Kelaric Frostbringer, and I am a skilled Wizard and Artificer, with somewhat of a natural affinity for nature spells, and a tendency to help out others in need I used to be a lone traveler before I found the tribe who’d travel wherever the wind took me, and now, I came here, ready to do whatever is needed of me and my tribe
Cisco in character: nice, although I have to say, there are a lot of us the queen called us here for, but nevertheless, my name is Varian Frostwind, and I am a master warlock, one of the few warlocks amongst elfkind, as for what I’m willing to do for whatever cause it is I’m fighting for, eh, you’ll just have to find out and see
Barry in character: interesting, you’re right, we don’t see many warlocks around here, and I’m sure you’re the only one I’ve met within our tribe, my name is Silvanthir Dawnbreaker a paladin with a special elvish blade known as the Kyshuf blade, and while I do know some spells I mainly focus on melee combat… *out of character* Ollie, why don’t you go?
Oliver: *sighing dryly* My character name–
Deadpool innocently: Oliver you know that’s not how you start this
Oliver in character: *sighs dryly* MY name is Olithir Silentarrow
Deadpool: *snorts dryly* Olithir Silentarrow? that was REALLY the best you could come up with, OLIVER Queen, the Green ARROW
Freddie dully: …okay, I REALLY Don’t like agreeing with you, but Oliver, he does have a point
Lily Luna; now hang on a second, there is a way he could fix the unoriginality, what class did you pick?
Oliver: …I picked a rogue assassin…
Deadpool dryly: and do we even want to know if you have any combat proficiencies
Oliver: …my character specializes in archer, and in martial arts
*all of the regular dnd players throw their hands up in disdain other than peter and MJ*
Peter: okay, admittedly, that is a little on the nose but remember guys, he’s a first time player okay, cut him a little slack, besides, and it could be worse, he could’ve named himself Olithir Greenarrow
Freddie: okay, that’s fair
Peter: so we’re going to move on, Poe, go, and we’ll go around the table, skipping dominique since she already went, Poe, go ahead
Poe: alright…*in character* …my c–My name is Perro Azurepath, I’m a charismatic yet stealthy rogue, who specializes in hand to hand combat with a proficiency with daggers, who wields a set of twin daggers as my main weapon
Sirius: *snorts* Dammit, i should’ve picked that name
Poe: Why's that?
Sirius: because! Perro literally means DOG *laughing*
Poe: what??
Cisco: he’s right, it’s spanish for dog
Charlotte: …what the kriff kind of language is Spanish??
Peter casually flexing his trivia knowledge: It’s the language of several countries in on earth including, but not limited to, Mexico, Spain, Venezuela, Colombia, Cuba, and the american territory of Puerto Rico
Charlotte: Huh…
Sirius: well, my name is Silvendil Silvernote, I’m a bard, whose instrument is a guitar, and I am a prankster who had a traumatic childhood, and uses music to get past my trauma
Aurora: and I am a powerful sorcerer who goes by the name Aerisia, who knows a variety of different spells, who also has a traumatic backstory, but I think I’ll keep that to myself for now Ben: …….I suppose I’m next, you may call me Thalindel Oathbreaker, I’m a barbarian and my main weapons is a greatsword known as the the shattered blade
Rosie innocently: and I am a skilled Ranger as Inrillith, skilled with many weapons, including swords, daggers, bow and arrows, and my signature weapon, my crossbow, I am also a very skilled hunter, who is willing to protect anyone in need, but also have some fun with how I do it, because I’m also a Bard who’s favorite spell is vicious mockery, instrument is a lute
Holly: I’m a paladin who specializes in nature spells and sword combat, the name’s Elysia Firewing
George (62406): Prankster Rogue who goes by the name Sorin frostfang
Deadpool snarkily: Fang, wind and bringer, what’s next? Frostbite? FrostDICK?
Rosie already getting annoyed: *getting ready to roll her d20 already* I cast Vicious Mockery on Queen Willowmane *rolls a 16*
Half of the room: NOOOOOO
Rosie innocently: …why do you look like legolas with the face of a man’s pubes? ……and nice vader impression guys
Deadpool: Wisdom saving throw *rolls his d20 and rolls an 18* I cast vicious mockery back at Inrillith…*rolls his d20 and rolls a nat 20* Nat 20 fuck yeah…I may look like legolas with the face of a man’s pubes but at least I’m not fucking an emo boy
Charlotte under her breath: …should I be pissed at deadpool for insulting Ben, or happy that my emo phase joke is going on
Ben dryly confused: I didn’t even SAY ANYTHING?!?!
Deadpool: sorry Emo boy, but I was going to go for the second example of forgetting to wrap before you tap, in your family, but that one was better
Rosie snarking back: Why do you care? Just pissed because an “Emo Boy” can get laid and you can’t?
*oliver flinches knowing*
Deadpool innocently: *laughing slightly* I never told you about my fiance did I?
Everyone in the room other than Oliver: YOU HAVE A FIANCE?!?!
Deadpool: *looking to the fourth wall* I’m about to end her WHOLE Career…*back to everyone else* I HAD a Fiancee…
Rosie snarking: let me guess? She left you because you were too much of a jackass
Oliver under his breath dryly: oh, this isn’t going to end well
Holly dryly under her breath knowing that something worse had to have happened: Dammit Rosie
Deadpool casually: she was killed. Gunned down the day before the wedding. By another merc hired by an organization who was pissed because I took out one of their men.
*awkward silence*
Rosie feeling like absolute shit: I-uh-Wade, I’m sorry, I didn’t–
Deadpool: save it flower child, it’s fine, Spidey how much damage did my vicious mockery deal?
Peter kind of stunned awkwardly: I-uhhh, none considering both of you insulted real life aspects about each other instead of something in-game, and that’s kind of how the spell works, so you both kind of just insulted each other, so no damage is dealt
Deadpool: dammit!
Sirius: okay, how the FUCK were you so casual about that shit??
Deadpool acting casual: *shrugs* I don’t know, A lot of time has passed? I got vengeance, so Vengeance? Pick an answer
Ben quietly trying to make her feel better: *noticing the look on rosie’s face* Rosie, I know that look, but you didn’t know, nobody knew, and he started the thing in part, alright?
Rosie quietly: Still!
Peter slowly awkwardly; Maybe it’d be best if we moved on…MJ, you’re up
MJ slowly awkwardly as well at first caught off guard; uhhh, sure…*in character* I’m a wizard who goes by the name of Thaladir Nightshade
Ben slowly confused: ……isn’t that a guy’s name?
MJ: *raising an eyebrow dryly* and what if it is?
Peter quickly before MJ goes off on him; He’s a newbie MJ! ……In DnD, ben, you can play any gender of your choosing, it doesn’t have to match that of the gender you identify with as a person
Ben: ohhh…got it, sorry
MJ: alright, apology accepted, Cassie, you’re up
Cassie in character; I am a Sorcerer known as Seraphenia, well known for helping others in their time of need, what about you? *looking to Ahsoka*
Ahsoka in character: me? My name is Freya Stormcaller, a Paladin
Tej in character: sorry, to interrupt, but you forgot a couple people, the name’s Caladon Ironblood, and this here is Elara Moonforge
Ramsey in character: we are both extremely skilled Artificers, with Caladon also being a fighter
Peter: sorry for skipping over you guys
Tej: it’s all good man
Peter; Alright then, George…the speedster one, you’re next
Chester: *chokes on air* I’m sorry did you just say George, as in George Weasley is a SPEEDSTER?!?! Wait…ohhh, that’s what HR meant…
Cisco: ……yeah, we’ll catch you up on that bit later…
George (111605); right, uhh…*in character* …my name is Thalivar Shadowbane a prankster rogue, who’s very sneaky
Allana: and I am Thalia Winkin a powerful elven barbarian who’s signature weapon is a long sword, *innocently* as well as Thalivar’s Lover
*freddie just bangs his head on the table*
Peter; uhhhh, Freddie? Are you alright?
Deadpool snorting: i think he’s just annoyed, Spidey, because he just had to picture his alt universe dad doing another kind of banging
*freddie keeps banging his head on the table*
Peter slowly: maybe it’d be best if we kept moving…
Charlotte; hold on, That was an OPTION?!?!
Peter: what? To have your characters in a relationship? Yes, you just needed to let me know in advance, now, moving on, Remus?
Remus: right…*in character* my name is Galadriel Emberstorm, a skilled wizard with War Magic
Tonks in character fake yawning: Wizard? Boo! Druid’s are WAY better, the name’s Ariaethel
Scorpius in character: my name is thalion swiftstrum, somewhat of a novice bard admittedly
Lily Luna in character: yeah, that’s not something you exactly TELL people Thalion…my name is Eloria Serenade, Thalion is a friend of mine, I’m a HIGHLY skilled bard, unlike him, my instrument is a guitar
Gwen in Character: considering you just told us all that you wouldn’t tell us if you were a novice, are we SURE that’s true? The Name’s alethea stormcloak by the way, I’m a Bladeslinging wizard
Freddie in character; Alethea makes a good point, and the name’s Finrod Wildheart, Druid
Lily luna in character: okay first of all This time I’m actually telling the truth, I am a very skilled bard
Quill in character: yeah, Bards aren’t known for being the MOST trusting so I’m not sure about that, and I say this as a bard myself, I’m also a rogue, the Name’s Eldrin Starstrider
Lily Luna in character; You’re a ROGUE TOO?! Those are even less trusting than Bards! Guys, trust me here, I am
Deadpool in character: ENOUGH!!
Peter: suddenly you all feel a shiver down your spine as you see that Queen Zylfina very clearly has somewhat of a shorter temper than most
Deadpool in character; now as I said before, our scouts have discovered the location of a legendary artifact that could end the war with the wood elves on top, however, just in case,
There are a couple of other things that need to get taken care of, one important being Allies, there are many factions and kingdoms in this land that we could stand to make our allies for the battles to come, considering none of us have many, and the other warring nations are making more as we speak, for example, I’ve heard whispers of the dwarf hoard attempting to make allies with a village of stouts as well as a clan of gnomes, and as for the last kingdom of man, they’re even resorting to allying themselves with an Orc kingdom so I hear, and somehow, they’ve apparently even managed to find a tribe of Dragonborn
Freddie in character; I’m sorry, did you just say DRAGONBORN?!?!
Chester in character: that would seem very concerning indeed
Deadpool in character: yes, these four in addition to the allies they already have should prove most challenging indeed, Frostbringer, especially compared to our only allies being the Fairy tribe which is why I’ve arranged meetings with a couple of tribes and kingdoms for us to meet with, the one of which being a tribe of centaurs, the kingdom of the goliaths, and last but most certainly not least, a hidden tribe of changelings, all I’ll say is we’re going to have a LOT of fun with these missions
Aurora slowly in character: but what about the artifact you spoke of?
Deadpool in character: yes, the legendary artifact known as the Stone of Gareeb, split into nine gems, when all nine gems are rejoined to recreate the stone of Gareeb, legends say they can grant the user of the stone one limitless wish, our scouts have figured out the location of three, once we find these three we can begin work to find the other
Sirius in character: where are these gems you speak of?
Peter: the gems are in three different dungeons, the first of the gems is about about a day south, and as for the kingdoms, the centaur tribe is about a day west, the goliaths are in the mountains, in the far north, a week’s trip, and finally the changeling tribe is probably about three days northwest, you get the location of the second gem after you get the first, and the third after the second, discuss with the party on where you think you all should go
Quill: I say we travel to the Goliath kingdom, knock the furthest one out first
Cisco: No way! We need to start south then work our way north, Gem first
Charlotte: ……okay, can someone explain a couple things first, thing a, what the hell is a centaur, A Goliath, and a changeling??
Aurora: okay, the Goliath is the one I was going to ask about, the changeling seems self explanatory, and we have centaurs on our earth
Peter: well, changelings are kind of what they sound like, they’re humanoids with shapeshifting abilities able to give themselves the appearance completely changing the way they appear, hair color, skin tone, gender, everything, Goliaths are a species humanoids that descended from Giants, and as for Centaurs, picture a half man half horse
Charlotte: and a horse is?
Peter trying to figure out how to explain a horse: uhhhh…
Holly: earth’s equivalent to Fatheirs or Rontos
Charlotte: oh–ew…so it’s a guy with a man or woman’s body and a…horse…head?
George (111605): other way around, it’s a man or woman with horse body, and the torso up of a human
Charlotte: …I’m genuinely not sure if that’s better or worse
Allana: yeah, earth has a lot of weird things, but you get used to it…
George (62406): what do you mean EARTH has weird things?! you have people made entirely of bloody HAIR in your galaxy
Charlotte: Are you talking about Ewoks or Wookies?
Ramsey: I think the fact there’s two of them kind of proves his point
Quill: maybe we should move on…
Poe: ….maybe go for the middle and go for the Changelings or the centaurs?
*just then everyone at the table other than MJ and Peter starts arguing about where they need to go*
MJ: gotta love the regular dnd fights…peter why do you look like the tingle thing is happening?
Peter: That’s because the tingle thing IS happening
Cassie: okay, dude, you need to come up with a better name for it than “the tingle thing”
Peter: it’s a work in progress
*just then Deadpool fires his gun into the air*
Oliver: WADE
Deadpool: WOULD EVERYBODY SHUT THE FUCK UP
*everyone goes silent*
Deadpool: now I am the queen and I say we go to the north to the goliaths, and get some help from those, big, strong, POWERFUL, giant descendants *puts his gun away
Half of the table: BOOO
*Freddie knowing that was supposed to be him showing a kink fake gags*
Barry: ……why don’t we put it to a vote?
Peter; yes, Barry, let’s vote, thank you, all in favor of going to the goliaths, raise your hands?
*quill, deadpool, Ahsoka, Holly, George-62406 all raise their hands*
Peter: alright, that’s five vo–
*just then oliver slowly raises his hand*
Deadpool innocently: Awww, Ollie! You voted with me!
Oliver dryly: shut it wade, I voted with you reluctantly, only because it makes more sense to deal with the furthest one first
Peter: okay, I think I have an idea for something that’ll probably help that I just remembered I was supposed to bring to the session, Oliver I’m going to need you to breach me back to my earth
Oliver: *opens a breach* Done, but be quick
*peter runs through the =
Deadpool innocently: what’s the matter Ollie? You don’t love seeing us
Oliver dryly: No, especially not you
Everyone else at the table: HEY/OI
Oliver: sorry, guys, that was more directed at wade…and those that like to give me headaches
Charlotte innocently: I wonder who that could be directed toward
Sirius innocently: your guess is as good as mine
Rosie innocently: honestly, it’s a real thinker
*All of the chaotic people just laughing*
*just then peter walks through a green breach with giant cork board on wheels with a giant map on it*
Peter: MUCH Better *pulls out a collapsible pointer and points to where the elf tribe is* This is where you are
Dominique: I’m sorry, did you make a fucking MAP?!?
Peter: I did!
Remus: how much time did you spend on this?! The design of it is incredible!
Peter: thanks! The map honestly was probably what took the longest out of everything to prepare, definitely pulled a couple of all nighters making it
Aurora, Tonks, and George(111605) dryly: *recognizing the eye bags under peter’s eyes* How many all-nighters did you pull preparing for this campaign?
Peter: How many all nighters? Pff! That doesn’t matter
Aurora and Tonks dryly: oh god he’s like remus
Sirius dryly: yyyyyep
George (111605): I was going to say like Allana
Ahsoka dryly: yep
Allana: ……yeah, I’m not even going to fight that one
Quill; …kid, how long is it since you’ve slept?
Peter: that’s no–
MJ dryly: Peter, answer the question
Peter: ……over twenty four hours?
Everyone other than Allana; WHAT?!?!
Peter awkwardly: I think…it might’ve been over thirty, I’m honestly not sure…
Allana: eh, I’ve done longer
MJ dryly: please don’t encourage him
Oliver: Okay, I’m just gonna– *about to use his powers to make him not sleep deprived*
MJ: Don’t!
Oliver: what do you mean don’t??
Ahsoka: she makes a point, if you make him less sleep deprived, he won’t sleep for longer, and he won’t learn his lesson
Oliver: okay, how did you know I was going to do that?
MJ bluntly: peter told me about how you did the same thing for her *gesturing to rosie*
Rosie: ……okay, I’m not upset about you telling them, I’m just really confused when I say…Why??
Peter: I had to tell them about what happened when we pressed the emergency button that brought everyone to the bar!
Cassie: yep, and Peter, he went into detail
MJ: yeah, he caught us up even more than luis does…he even wrote a paper on it and separated all of the stuff that happened into parts…and a video reenactment
Quill: ……wait a second, is THAT why you needed to record me with my blasters??
Peter: yes, that’s right mr quill
Freddie: ……okay, When the BLOODY HELL, do you find time for this?!?! And Aren’t you still a superhero?!
Peter: that’s right, I am, still the friendly neighborhood spider-man
Gwen: …okay, so do you just, NOT sleep
Peter: I Sleep! …sometimes…
MJ: …hey, you! the one brooding at the end of the table! Any chance I could get one of those phone things you gave peter?
Oliver knowing where this is going: …fine…and the name’s Oliver, Oliver Queen *makes it so suddenly a silver specphone labeled MJW-200000*
MJ: got it, Queen…also why the hell would you make these things look like flip phones?!
Oliver: for incognito purposes
MJ dryly: you do realize we live in the 21st century, right? If anything this is more conspicuous than a regular cell phone
Oliver dryly: it’s a burner phone, and not everyone who is a guardian is from the 21st century
Holly innocently: If you’re talking about Jonah, he’s from the 19th century so that’s kind of making your situation worse
MJ: Also burner phones don’t ALWAYS have to be flip phones, like you could’ve done a nokia brick phone…also why the hell did you want to make it a burner phone anyway?
Oliver dryly: *grunting* do you want me to take it back
MJ immediately: no, no, this is fine, love the flip phone *flips it open and presses the button on the holomenu for message and creates a group chat*
Peter: You know, that’s really nice of you mister queen to let MJ have a SpecPhone…you almost never give them away that easily…MJ, what’re you doing?
MJ: …nothing…
In the group Chat
MJ Watson
Alright, so I know a lot of y'all don’t know me, but I’m Peter’s gf, and I just found out while in today’s session Peter hasn’t slept in over THIRTY HOURS, I would make him go to sleep myself when the session’s over but I might need backup considering he has super strength, not that he’d ever use it on me, but from what I’ve heard some of you can put people to sleep
The Daring DAMNsel (Adelynn Skywalker-Kenobi)
Okay, one, this is Adelynn skywalker kenobi, and message me when your session is done and I’ll meet you at peters…also WHO THE FUCK CHANGED MY NAME TO THE GOD AWFUL PRESS NAME
Also side note: Obi-Wan just reminded me I can’t because I can’t use the force in your universe
The MJ that’s NOT for the Streets
I miggggght have made it so all of the names from your main chat transferred to this chat because I was curious about what the nicknames were, so if you can say who you are in the chat before talking that’d be great…but who the fuck changed my name to THIS?!?! Wtf is that even supposed to mean?!?
The Merc with the Mouth
Watch the original 2000s spider-man movies and you’ll know it’s a compliment…also female jesus, that was me, but don’t worry, I’ll change it for you 😁
Female Space Jesus
…okay, better, but STILL
Mrs. Woody(Iris Wood)
Okay, i have an idea, Iris Wood here, but first deadpool, change my fucking nickname or I’ll show up at your session and fire a confringo at you, in the face
The Merc with the Mouth
You’re not getting your Weasley cousin chat nickname but fineeeeee…
The one who fucked with time(multiple times)
Really?
The Merc With the mouth
Shit, you’re right, that applies to multiple people, but Shut the fuck up and just tell us the idea
The one who fucked with the timeline (and had no consequences)
🙄 I was going to say, I do know a spell that could help people go to sleep, if that’d help
The MJ that’s NOT for the streets
…we’ll call that plan B, any other ideas?
The Weasley cousin that IS for the streets
Or you could just threaten to tell his aunt may about the situation, this is Louis Wealsey btw, and Deadpool, wtf is my name supposed to mean??
The Merc with the mouth
…how many gfs have you had again?
The weasley cousin that IS for the streets
…why tf is that relevant?
The Merc with the mouth
Let me try this again, which one of the weasley boys is the one who raw dogged a girl and got her pregnant and now has a baby momma
Everyone at the table other than Peter and Chester in real life: WADE!!!
Deadpool dryly: tell me I’m wrong, I’ll wait
Freddie Darkly: BUT YOU DIDN’T NEED TO SAY THAT!!
Cisco: yeah, c’mon, not cool man!
Peter: okay, WHAT is going on??
Chester: that’s a good question…
Barry: *shows chester the chat*
Chester: whoa, that’s bad…
MJ: *shows peter specifically the part with what deadpool said*
Peter: ……oh…okay, maybe we should get back to the game?
Chester slowly: yeah, I think I like that idea
Dominique darkly: Oliver, I need you to give me a weapon that can kill deadpool
Oliver: …that’s going to be an unfortunate no
Dominique dryly: why the fuck not? You hate him more than anyone here!
Oliver: because, as much as I don’t like him, I’m also a responsible guardian of the multiverse,
Gwen slowly: I think we should listen to peter and get back to the game
Peter rapidly: *pointing to spots on the map* centaurs are here, gem is here, changelings are here, and goliaths are here. You have sixty seconds to decide where your party is going, starting now!
*everyone then starts chattering*
Deadpool: alright, we’ll make it simple, on how to decide, Shooty, human vibrator, padfoot, and me all roll d20s, I roll for the goliaths, vision quest, the gem, shooty, changelings, and Padfoot, the Centaurs, highest roll wins
Everyone at the table: Deal!
*Poe, Cisco, Sirius, and Deadpool all pick up their d20s and roll*
Poe: …13
Sirius; 7
Deadpool: …9…SHIT
Cisco: nat 20! *dryly* AND GIVE ME A DIFFERENT NICKNAME WADE
Peter: okay, so you’ve decided to go for the gem
Deadpool in character: alright, I suppose we could go for the gem…
Dominique hopeful in character: what do you mean WE? Don’t you need to stay here and rule over the tribe?
Deadpool: it’s fine, I have my trusted advisor ready to temporarily take over for me, COME HITHER LOGAN THE HOT ELF
Peter: just then you all see a tall, unusually hairy, for an elf anyway, man walk into the throne room
Deadpool in character: Everyone meet Logan, the hot elf, now onward to the gem… *out of character* for a better visual I ask Oliver to create an image of my buddy logan from earth-X but in a dark yellow cloak with an 8 inch dagger on his waist
*Oliver groans dryly as he snaps his fingers and they see a 3d image made of Spectral particles of James Howlett/Logan/Wolverine, in a yellow cloak with an 8 inch dagger*
Charlotte innocently in character: He’s not the only one with something 8 inches on his waist
Ben under his breath dryly: oh god I didn’t need to hear that
Rosie in character innocently: No, no, he is not
Charlotte under her breath dryly: well that’s karma for me
*half of the room chokes on air*
*both Poe and Ben start blushing hard*
Peter awkwardly trying to move on: uhhh, was that supposed to be in character or out of character
Rosie and Charlotte innocently: yes.
Deadpool: *laughing* Nice one!
Chester: …this is going to be one of the most chaotic sessions I’ve done, isn’t it?
Cisco bluntly: without a doubt
Ben dryly: *groaning dryly* Can I give myself a concussion?
Peter slowly: …why would you want to give your character a concussion?
Ben dryly: oh, I don’t mean my character, I mean in real life
Rosie innocently: give me a hardass headboard, a bed, a couple of hours and it could happen
Charlotte dryly: *feeling a little sick* oh COME ON
Holly: *fake gags*
Peter continuing on; you then see Logan shift awkwardly as he just awkwardly starts to speak, *in character* yes, I am Logan, first of my name, and the most loyal elf knight to the throne of willowmane, and the reluctant, temporarily ruler of the tribe
Deadpool innocently: you’ll do fiiiiine, Logan the hot elf
Peter in character: MUST you keep calling me that Queen willowmane?
Deadpool in character: yes, yes I do, yes, and please, call me Zylfina…*out of character* can I roll to seduce Logan the hot elf?
Peter; I suppose you can bu–
Deadpool: *in character*…you know, if you want, I could get someone else to watch the tribe, and you can come and we can have some interesting… “adventures” together *out of character*…rolling for a charisma check! *rolls the d20 and rolls a 1* …loving the design of the dice but not liking the roll
Peter: you notice the elven knight looks at you as he then just says “Ma’am, if we could please keep this professional, that would be nice”
Deadpool: dammit!
Barry: ……I know that this is unrelated but Lily Luna, Scorpius, I just remembered that Caitlin had told me the other day about you two wanting me to sing at your wedding ceremony, and I just wanted to let you know that I’d be honored to do it for you guys
Lily Luna: oh FUCK YEAH
Scorpius: thank you, Barry so much, we can’t thank you enough for agreeing to do that for us
Barry: Like I said before, I’m the one who’s honored to do it
Cisco: Oh hey! That means all of OG team flash is going to be there!
Barry: You got invited too?
Cisco: yep, I’m helping out with their sound systems with morgan, and I’m guessing caitlin already told you?
Barry: Tell me what? That she got invited? Yeah, she did
Cisco innocently: …did she tell you HOW she specifically got invited?
Barry: …no?
Lily Luna and Scorpius: we made her a bridesmaid so her and Leo walk down the aisle together
Barry slightly surprised: …oh, well that is definitely something…not that I think she’s going to be a bad bridesmaid or anything, hell she was Iris’ maid of honor, but this…
Lily Luna: it’s a weasley family tradition for the engaged couple to play matchmaker
Aurora: while we’re briefly on the wedding topic, you should know that me and the royals will also be honored to play at your wedding reception
Sirius: yep, and Lucifer called us and let us know that he’s in as well
Lily Luna: Fuck. YES!!
Deadpool: hey, lovebirds, can we maybe get back to the fucking game?
Oliver dryly: yeah, i’d prefer to get this over with sooner rather than later
Everyone who was in the conversation: sorry
Peter: now, where were we? You all leave the lidoin, however, due to how long it took for you to decide it is evening, you go a couple of miles and then have to set up camp for the night in the woods, what do you do?
Dominique: I say we just go to sleep take our long rest, but with a couple people taking shifts watching just in case
Chester: I second that Idea, that definitely seems like a smart play
Cisco: definitely agree, alright, now lets vote, who says we take a long rest?
*everyone raises their hands*
Dominique: alright, it’d be best to split this up into four shifts, so who’s got the best perception?
Peter: *looking through a notebook* according to my notes the four people with the best perception are…Thaladir, Inrillith, Varian, and Queen Zylfina
Quill: so we’ve got MJ, Rosie, Cisco, and Deadpool, any of you opposed to doing watch duty?
MJ: I’m fine with it
Deadpool: I mean SOMEONE has to make sure we don’t all die while we’re having wet dreams
Cisco dryly: okay, looking past deadpool’s…analogy…he’s right about the idea
Rosie: then it’s set, what’s the order
Freddie: or hang on, why don’t we watch in groups, just in case if something DOES happen?
Lily Luna: yeah, that’s a really good idea
Peter: alright, now I can split you up into groups of five, Zylfina, Olithir, Holarona, Perro, and Seraphenia, shift one, Silventhir, Thaladir, Eldrin, Finrod and Alethea, you’re on shift two, Varian, Kelaric, Silvendil, Aerisia, and Galenleaf, shift three, Inrillith, Eloria, Thalion, Caladon and Elara shift four, and everyone else gets to just rest until the next rest that’s taken, does that work for everyone?
Everyone at the table: yep
Peter: alright, shift one, everyone other than you five are asleep, everyone roll for your first perception, cassie you first
Cassie: fuck, I got a one
Peter: you fall asleep on watch duty
Deadpool in character: …I call dibs on waking Seraphenia up!
Charlotte dryly in character: just let her sleep Zylfi
Deadpool in character: That is Queen Zylfina Willowmane of the Wood Elves to YOU
Charlotte innocently: whatever you say Zylfi
Deadpool in character: …who want to come with me to go find a snack?
Charlotte in character; …fuck it, I could eat
Oliver in character: but we need to stay here and watch to be sure no one tries to attack the party
Poe in character: …okay, as much as I agree with Olithir, if Holarona is going with Zylfi I’m going too
Deadpool dryly: oh this name’s going to catch on isn’t it
Everyone else at the table: Yep!
Charlotte: also, Poe, you do realize this is just a game, right?
Poe bluntly: yeah, and I’m still going with you, I don’t trust Deadpool or Zylfi
Deadpool: HEY
Charlotte: …okay, that’s fair
Deadpool: ANYWAY…Spidey, is it alright, if the three of us leave to go try to find some berries and shit so that way we don’t have to take from the food we brought for meals?
Peter: uh–I mean, I guess? But are you SURE, you want to do that?
Deadpool: yep!
Charlotte: …this is going to bite us in the ass isn’t it?
Peter innocently: you’re going to have to find out I guess…
Deadpool in character:: okay, have fun on guard duty Byyyyyyyeeeeee *out of character* Zylfina sprints into the trees
Charlotte: and me and Poe follow her
Peter: leaving Olithir alone, Oliver, roll perception check
Oliver: *rolls a 7* shit…I swear to fucking god wade if this goes to hell
Peter: …unfortunately just then, with Zylfina, Perro, and Holarona just out of hearing range, out of nowhere a man who looks exactly like Perro, walks out from the trees as he then opens his mouth to say “I do apologize for leaving you, Olithir, I realized it wasn’t right of me to leave you here alone, so I came back” you don’t know this isn’t Perro by the way, you might be suspicious, but you’re not sure
Cisco dryly: yeah, thanks a lot for leaving our sleeping bodies guys!
Poe awkwardly: sorry…
Deadpool jokingly: sorry not sorry!
Chester: well this isn’t going to end well
Oliver; now hang on…can I try to ask the unknown person some questions, to figure out who this guy is?
Peter: go ahead and try
Oliver: interesting, Perro, thanks for coming back, but it seems kind of odd that you’d return considering you seemed hell bent on going with Holarona and the queen foraging for something to eat
Peter: roll for investigation
Oliver: …that’s a twelve plus my +5 investigation boost that’s a 17
Freddie: …why the fuck did you put that much into investigation as a rogue Asassain?!
Oliver dryly: is that really relevant right now?
Peter; you notice him flinch slightly and start to slip up, as he then says, “...well as I said before I felt bad about leaving you alone to watch the rest of y-our party”
Oliver; …Poe, what color did you give your character?
Poe: brown?
Oliver; peter, I’m rolling for deception to trick this guy
Peter: alright, go ahead and say what you’re going to say then roll
Oliver; *in character* …say, it could just be my mind playing tricks on me, but is there something wrong with your eyes, because I could’ve sworn…that you had GREEN eyes… *rolls*
Barry: ooh, nice play Ollie
Oliver: Barry, better than anyone here you should know I’m one of the best interrogators in the multiverse, and that’s a fifteen plus four deception, that’s nineteen
Tej: Okay, what the HELL are your stats dude, cause while that does make more sense than the +5 investigation, +4 deception piled on top of that insane investigation? That shit’s insane
Peter: just then you notice the man before you start to sweat as his eyes then change from brown to green
Oliver innocently in character: what was that there with your eyes?
Peter: he then gets nervous and yells in somewhat of a deeper voice “THE JIG IS UP GUYS, NOW, NOW, NOW” as you then turn around to see twelve other people, a three of what you can tell, short halflings, one male, two female, two tall sturdy goliath men, one scaly dragonborn female, two small gnomes, two orcs, a fully human man, a dwarf woman, as the man’s skin who looked like Perro suddenly changes and turns pale white as does his hair, as do his eyes as he then casts a sort of spell that changes his clothes so that he’s now wearing a white thick armored skinsuit and wearing a dark cloak, revealing himself as a changeling, as you then see that majority of the party tied up with a sort of cloth around their mouths, however thanks to your quick investigation and deception there are a few people not tied up at this moment is Kelaric, who is now awake and struggling with two of the halflings, Inrillith who–
Rosie: Kicked a gnome in the face!
Peter: *sighs* Rosie, roll for initiative?
Rosie: *rolls* Fuck yeah! Nat 20!
Peter: Inrillith, who just punted the gnome so hard he went flying into the forest as you then see the other of the gnomes yell in distress, “ARKEN!!” which you could only presume was the name of the gnome Inrillith kicked, and Thalindel somehow has managed to sleep through all of this
Charlotte teasingly: *snorts* of course YOU would manage to sleep through a raid “ThAlInDeL”
Ben dryly: shut it charlotte, at least I didn’t leave during my turn on watch duty
Charlotte slowly: …touche…
Rosie: I try to wake up Thalindel by shaking him awake and yelling “WAKE THE FUCK UP”
Ben: And Obviously I wake up?
Peter: yep, and now the four of you, Oliver, Chester, Rosie, and Ben have an important choice to make, either stay, and try to fight them off, or go and find Queen Zylfina, Holarona, and Perro and regroup
Oliver: You all go, I’ll stay and hold them off
Chester: okay, that’d be a good plan, but in-game, you’re the only one of the party members not tied up who knows the direction of where they went
Rosie: he’s right, I say we all go
Ben: …what’re the odds of us winning this if we try to fight?
Peter: to put it in Star Wars terms, about the same odds Luke would’ve had when blowing up the death star if he DIDN’T have the force, but if you get backup and regroup you could increase exponentially
Ben: kriff, okay, yeah I vote we go find them
Oliver: it’s unanimous then
Peter; alright, all four of you roll for initiative
Chester: …17
Oliver: 14
Rosie: 15
Ben: 18
Peter: alright, you all make it out, but first start to describe your escape
Oliver: I shout out to the others “Follow me! HURRY!” as I then start to run into the forest in the direction Zylfi, Holarona, and Perro are in
Rosie: and presumably I follow him
Chester and Ben: same here
Peter: alright, you all follow him until you run into Zylfina, Holarona and Perro
Deadpool in character: hey guys! Wait…what the hell are Thali and Kel doing awake? and Inrillith?
Oliver dryly in character: we got attacked by a band of raiders, which you would’ve known, if you HADN’T LEFT YOUR POST
Charlotte in character: …wait, WHAT?!?!
Chester in character: maybe let's NOT play the blame game and focus on coming up with a plan to free the others
Deadpool in character: so who was it this time, the dwarves or the men?
Ben in character: both, as well as a dragonborn, changeling, and a couple of halflings, gnomes, orcs and goliaths
Deadpool in character: a changeling and a couple of goliaths? But they were going to agree to help us…interesting, we’ll need to talk to their leaders about this when we go to visit them later on, but I say we just run in and beat them up, seven on what, seven? With a rogue assassin, a bardic rogue assassin, a sorcerer and artificer, a ranger and bard, a barbarian, rogue, and a bard, I like those odds!
Oliver in character; keep, in mind we do have the element of surprise, assuming they’re still at our camp, we could sneak back, free our other party members and then we could take them with ease
Poe in character: I like Olithir’s plan
Charlotte in character: as do I
Rosie in character: same here!
Chester in character: sorry, my queen, but Olithir’s plan does seem like the better option than simply running in spells blazing
Deadpool in character: fine, because I am a fair queen, I will go for this plan, what is your plan Silentarrow?
Oliver in character: simple, we sneak back to the campsite, free a couple of our allies, THEN we can fight them if they still wish to fight, and once we deal with them, we can free the others
Charlotte: alright, so we make our way back to our little camp then?
Peter: yep, you make your way back to camp and see the rest of the party split up into a couple of groups, at most you can manage to save one person each without getting caught if you split up each guarded by at least one person, but your chances to go up of getting someone out without being noticed if you go after less people with more people, what do you do?
Oliver: I think we’d be better off saving three people in groups of two and one of three when it’d nearly guaranteed we’d succeed rather than MAYBE succeed in saving seven people and risk getting caught ourselves
Chester; alright, what’re everyone’s character levels? I have an idea on how we can maximize the outcome of our efforts
Deadpool: 13 bard, 11 assassin multiclass
Oliver: 8
Charlotte and Poe: 5
Rosie: 10 ranger and 6 bard
Ben: ……why do you have two different levels?
Rosie; it’s for my multiclass
Ben: oh…well mine is five
Chester: and I have eleven Wizard and nine sorcerer, okay, so I feel like that our best plan of action would be to have the three level fives work together to free someone and the other four of us can each go after one alone, so that way we get five people likely guaranteed instead of us having four likely success, even one member in a dnd fight can be the difference between a loss and a win, after that we meet up on the two sides, I’m guessing the raiders are in a sort of campfire circle?
Peter: yep, that’s right
Chester: right, after we get whoever we get we meet up, by going through the trees, and while they’re in the campfire circle, we flank and surround them
Charlotte: ……chester, you seem to know a lot about this game
Chester: mhmm, I’m a dnd veteran, have been playing for well over ten years, so I know this game like the back of my hand
Freddie: same goes for us weasley cousins
Allana: I gotta say, this is an interesting game so far, but if one of you could maybe free me, I wouldn’t be AGAINST, getting to fight someone
Ahsoka: same here
Sirius: yeah, I was kind of hoping we’d get to fight a bit more in this game
Gwen dryly: you’re a bloody bard sirius, your main purpose is a support role–
Lily Luna: wait a second that’s it! Peter? How many of our mouths are covered up?
Peter; all of them
Lily Luna; free one person, but uncover the mouths of everyone who’s a bard, WITHOUT Freeing them
All of the Bards at the table except for Lily Luna: WHAT?!
Quill: yeah, I don’t think I like that idea
Lily Luna; now just hear me out…if they free someone else other than a bard, and the bards have their mouths freed, when they go to fight the raiders, we can try for a combined bardic inspiration in order to apply some MASSIVE boosts for when they’re fighting, as well as the occasional vicious mockery, remember guys, we’re BARDS, our magic doesn’t come from our hands, it comes from our music, our insults, *innocently* and our ability to seduce and/or fuck anything including a chair!
*all of the weasley cousins in the room start dying in laughter besides Dominique who just blushes slightly*
Everyone at the table other than the weasley cousins and deadpool: …what?
Deadpool: beautiful speech, I especially liked the part at the end about seducing and fucking a chair
Quill dryly: yeah, you had me then you lost me at the end
Dominique: okay, It was ONE TIME, and it was Jamie, Iris, and Ali who insisted on doing the drunk dnd session!
Barry: ……oooookay then?
Charlotte extremely confused; ……okay, what the hell is a drunk dnd session and what does that have to do with fucking a chair??
Oliver: oh god, why did you have to ask that
Freddie innocently: it’s exactly what is sounds like, and once when Dominique was drunk she had her bard character fuck a chair
Dominique darkly: FREDRICK WEASLEY THE SECOND!!
Freddie innocently: that’s my name!
Deadpool: now I’m curious, were you playing a male or female, because that can imply two VERY different things
Peter; …maybe moving on…Lily, barring that part at the end that was a pretty good speech, so catch *tosses her a small d20*
Lily Luna; …what’s this for?
Peter: advantage for your bardic inspiration attempt
Lily Luna: oh FUCK YES
Peter: alright, so you split up, Mister Wilson, we’ll run yours first, if you could roll for a stealth check?
Deadpool: 18 +2 that’s a twenty! Fuck yeah!
Peter: alright, you successfully make it over to one of the further groups tied up, you see three members, those being Eldrin, Thaladir, and Seraphenia, which do you save?
Deadpool: alright, I remove the cloth off of the mouths of Eldrin and Seraphenia but use my dagger to cut free Thaladir and quietly tell them “don’t worry, you’ll be fine, but we gotta go!”
Cassie: to which I quietly say, “w-what do you mean?? Why not untie all of us?!”
Deadpool: to which I bluntly quietly just say “just shut up, don’t worry, we’ll free the rest of you after the fight and Eldrin get ready to do some bard shit
Quill: I whisper shout “ …the fuck does that mean?!”
Deadpool: I then whisper shout back “you’ll see! Now lets go Thaladir” Wait, can I signal to the others to let them know who I got?
Peter: depends on how you want to go about it
Deadpool: I cast Message to make sure that everyone in the party, only the people in the party know that I grabbed thaladir
Chester: good move, because with that we can properly build our battle team based on what options we have, nice thinking wade!
Deadpool: thanks!
Peter: alright mr wilson, roll for initiative
Deadpool: *rolls a 14* 14 plus three spellcasting, let’s make it a seventeen!
Peter: alright, describe your spell
Deadpool: I whisper “hey guys just letting you guys know that I just cut loose Thaladir…also you ever wonder what’d be like to fuck a dragonborn?…just curious…”
Oliver dryly: really wade?!
Rosie; …yeah, this is already a top three most chaotic campaign i’ve been a part of
Peter: the others in your party, and only the others in your party hear you, so you message is properly delivered, now we’ll go to the three level fives Thalindel, Perro, and Holarona, the three of you see Freya, Thalia, and Thalion all tied up, what do you do?
Poe: okay, but hear me out guys, there are three of us, so why not try to get two instead of one, and one of them is a bard so we can just uncover their mouth
Charlotte: …I mean it’s not a bad idea
Ben: alright lets do it,
Charlotte: I cast message to let the rest of the party know what’s going on
Peter; roll for initiative
Charlotte: …14…
Peter; plus two spell casting, its a sixteen, so what’s your message?
Charlotte: I whisper the message “...we’re going to free both Freya and Thalia, and uncovering Thalion’s mouth…” also having heard the queen’s message I add on “...also you’re kind of sick you know that Zylfi?”
Peter; now describe what you all do
Charlotte; …Ben what weapons does your character have?
Ben: a long sword and two small daggers
Charlotte: alright, and poe also has a dagger, I’ll uncover the cloth from Thalion’s mouth, you two free Freya and Thalia
Peter: all three of you roll for initiative
Ben: 12
Charlotte: 20
Poe: ten
Peter: and Holarona perfectly removes Thalion’s cloth, and Thalindel and Perro cut free Freya and Thalia free, with Perro nearly cutting Freya wrist on accident
Ahoska in character whisper shouting: careful with that!
Poe in character: sorry…
Scorpius quietly in character: alright, now cut me free next, preferably Thalindel since it seems Perro is a little slippery with that dagger
Charlotte in character: …sorry, Thalion, don’t worry, we have a plan, but we’ll be back for you, but be ready to sing some music
Scorpius quietly in character; wait, no, no–
Charlotte: and we all quickly run back into the trees
Peter: alright, Oliver, you’re next, you see Sorin, Silvranthir, Eloria, Thalivar, and Elysia
Oliver: Well, since I know about the success of Holarona, Perro, and Thalindel, can I attempt to save two of them as well?
Peter: alright, but since you’re doing this alone, you’re going to need to get a high number
Oliver: How high are we talking?
Peter: sixteen
Oliver: alright, *picks up his d20 and blows on it, as a subtle green glow comes from his hands that most people don’t notice as he then rolls the dice and it lands on 16* that work?
Barry: *eyes widened slightly*
Cisco quietly to Barry: Barr, did he just–
Barry quietly: yeah, I think he did…
Peter; okay, who’re you saving?
Oliver: I pull out my knife and I cut free Silvranthir, and Elysia, and uncover the mouths of Sorin, Thalivarm, and Elysia
George semi-jokingly (111605): Booooo!
George semi-jokingly (62406): FAVORITISM!!
Oliver dryly: how was this favoritism??
George (111605) bluntly: you picked Barry! He’s one of your best friends!
Oliver; …I feel the need to remind you, I shot barry once, and have fought barry several times, I don’t DO favoritism…most of the time…
George (62406) dryly: uh-huh, Suuuuure
Ahsoka bluntly: yeah, that is kind of Osik
Allana: agreed!
Oliver dryly: can we get back to the game, I picked them because they had the two highest non-bard levels, otherwise then it would’ve been Barry and Lily Luna
George (62405): hang on, why cut Hols instead of Barry? They’re the exact same level and class
Oliver: …because…Can we get back to the game!
Peter: right…
Lily Luna in character: alright, can you cut me free now Olithir?
Oliver quietly in character: sorry, you three, for now you’re staying tied up, don’t worry, we have a plan, we’ll untie you once we get rid of the raiders, Eloria, Be ready for a song
Lily Luna quietly in character; got it
Oliver in character: “Silvranthir, Elysia, come with me” I say as I run into the trees
Barry: I then follow
Holly: as do I
Peter: alright, two left, Chester, you wanna go next?
Chester: sure!
Peter: alright, you see a group of five party members Varian, Alethia, Silvendil, Aerisia and Galenleaf, what do you do?
Chester: right, remind me, what’re your character levels again?
Cisco: 10
Sirius: 6
Aurora; 5
Freddie: 10
Dominique: 8 druid, 5 monk
Chester; okay, Dominique is obviously the best option…can I attempt to save two people like oliver did?
Peter: you’ll have to roll a 17 or higher
Chester; *rolls* eighteen!
Peter: alright, then who’s your second
Chester; …Varian
Cisco: YES! THAT'S MY BOY!! *hi-fives Chester*
Chester: Alright, I take my enchanted dagger of elements out of its sheath and touch the ropes with them, as they then burn through and fall to the ground, then I uncover the mouths of everyone else
Freddie: hold on just a bloody second! You have an enchanted elemental dagger?? How does it work?!
Chester: well, using a combination of wizard spells and artificer abilities, it channels some of my power and it can, burn, freeze, electrify, as well as do a couple of other things as well
Dominique: …okay, that’s Pretty Fucking cool
Chester: I know, right!
Lily Luna: Damn, that’s definitely a weapon I’ll have to consider for future campaigns
Sirius: but back to the game, I say “alright, now you can undo the rest of our ropes”
Chester: Sorry Silvendil, I promise, we’re not forgetting about you, we have a plan, but be ready for a song, and we’ll be back for you three
Aurora: I quietly say “wait, what do you mean– Nooooo!” and as we see them sprint for the trees my character whisper shouts “dammit Kelaric!”
Chester: sorry Aurora
Rosie: alright, I’m next, and I have a feeling I’m not going to get lucky enough to save two people without getting caught after three groups got lucky enough to get away with it so I’m going to just go for one
Peter: right, just then, you see Finrod, Ariaethel, Galadriel, Caladon, and Elara
Rosie: alright, what’re your character levels…well I already know uncle moons and tonks’, and I’m guessing Freddie this is the same finrod from the campaign of the seven dragons?
Freddie: yep
Rosie: so level ten, which leaves ramsey and tej
Ramsey: 10
Tej: 8 artificer and 4 fighter
Rosie: okay, let me think…Ramsey, Freddie, and Tej, you have the three highest levels, and we don’t have a fighter, but we only have one druid… so that narrows it down to Freddie and
Tej…Sorry Tej, we’re going to go with the Druid, I pull out a small knife, and cut free Finrod and remove the cloths of everyone else and say “hey guys, don’t worry, we’re going to get you out of here, but first we need to get rid of the raiders” as I then run into the trees
Freddie: as finrod then follows her
Peter: okay, now as you planned you've met up on opposite sides, rosie, dominique, and the level fives all on one side, and the other we have the other three groups, now what do you do
Charlotte: I cast message to ask if the others know if they’re ready
Deadpool: to which I respond “yeah, we’re ready, we’re about to go, so hurry the fuck up”
Charlotte: *sighs dyly* Fuck you deadpool
Peter: …okay then, both groups make a charge for around the circled group of raiders,as the raiders then turn, pulling out or summoning their weapons ready to fight as you then see the the changeling from before slowly stand up and pull out a shining black metal blade, as he then looks to Zylfina and says “well if is isn’t queen Zylfina Willowmane of the wood elves, been a while hasn’t it?”
Deadpool in character in shock: Braxis…NOBODY COULD'VE TOLD ME THAT MY EX WAS ONE OF THE RAIDERS?!?!
Everyone at the table other than Peter: WHAT?!?!
Charlotte in character: are you telling me Zylfi, that…YOU DATED THE CHANGELING?!?!
Deadpool in character innocently: what can I say, I had a bit of a liking for dangerous men when I was younger, and admittedly I still do, but now I have a bit more common sense
Peter in character: “Zylfi? I thought you hated when people called you that! And I see you’re Queen, also we are much more than just simple raiders, we are a part of the knights of Gareeb, the ones who will finally put an END to this foolish war that the ancestors of the three big kingdoms, man, dwarf, and elf, started
Deadpool in character: you don’t need to worry about that, we’ll be the ones to end the war, now, will you surrender, or will you fight?
Peter in character: me and my men and women have never been ones to go easy, try what you will, I can guarantee you by the time this is over, we’ll be taking you back to our base!
Deadpool: …Peter I cast vicious mockery…*rolls a nat 20* fuck yeah…*back in character* I bet you’d like me to go back with you to your base, maybe go back and get a look at my base, since I can probably bet that it’s been decades since you’ve gotten any
Charlotte, Lily Luna, Freddie, Dominique, Quill, and MJ: DAMNNNNNNNN
Peter: that’s gonna be 2d4 of damage *tosses him a small d4* go ahead and roll that for me
Deadpool: Shit, only 3 damage…
Peter: “sticks and stones Zylfina, but if you insist…” alright, everyone who’s in battle, roll d20s to decide turn order, and I’ll get everything figured out, now let’s do this!
*after everyone everyone does so and the order is figured out*
Peter: alright, Galenleaf gets first turn, and I already said the rest
Dominique; cool, I charge forward and use martial arts on orc 1 *rolls the d20 and gets a 5*
Peter: *rolls his d20 and gets an 18* it misses and it actually counters, launching you back doing…*rolls the d4* two damage
Dominique: shit…
Deadpool: hey, spidey, can we try that combined bardic inspiration thing we mentioned?
Peter: alright, but because of the mass boost of what you’re going to do, the bards in the party, even the ones who are tied up still, if they are helping with this need to roll over at least a 14, and if they’re actively in the fight, it’ll use up one of their turns and they’ll be skipped on this turn cycle
Deadpool: alright, let’s do this
*all of the bards somehow roll a 13 or lower*
Charlotte: SHIT
Rosie: god-FUCKING-dammit
Deadpool: FUCK YOU FUCKING SHIT
Quill: YOU FLARGGING KRUTACKER
MJ: …what the fuck did that mean?
Quill: space swears, it basically means fucking piece of shit
Peter: out of curiosity, did you know what you song you were going to do?
Deadpool: Call me maybe
Charlotte at the same time: Hit me baby one more time
Rosie at the same time: Never gonna give you up
Sirius at the same time: Don’t stop me now
Quill at the same time: Come and get your love
Lily Luna and Scorpius at the same time: Thunderstruck
Peter: mhmmm…you all attempt to do perform a song for bardic inspiration, but then end up failing because you all play different songs, I recommend discussing what song you’re doing first, before rolling
Oliver: alright, moving on, I fire an arrow at the gnome that didn’t get kicked
Peter; alright mr queen go ahead and roll for dexterity
Oliver; 7
Peter: alright, you fire the arrow, and it misses as the gnome then says, I’LL MAKE YOU PAY FOR THAT, JUST LIKE YOU’LL PAY FOR WHAT HAPPENED TO ARKEN!!” who you can only presume is the gnome that Inrillith kicked so hard that they went flying, and probably killed from the sounds of it
Rosie innocently: …oops?
Peter: alright, Varian, you’re up next
Cisco: alright, this is gonna be an eldritch blast at goliath number 1, c’mon give me a 20, nat 20, nat 20…*rolls* NAT TWENTY, BOOYAKASHA
MJ dryly: *snorts* booyakasha?
Cisco: okay, you know what? now is not the time for your charismatic sass, MJ, especially since you’re like one of the last ones to go, now Eldritch blast the goliath, *rolls a d10* for 10 damage! YES!!
Peter: alright, now remember, you get two damage rolls–
Cisco: because I’m level ten and get two beams of the eldritch blast! Let’s make the other one targeted at the gnome who just threatened us *rolls another d10* that’s another d10 baby!
Charlotte kind of surprised: *looking at his dice roll* he’s not lying, that’s another 10!
Peter: alright, describe your attack
Cisco: just then, you see my hands cupped together briefly as I then move my hands inward and start charging a large crackling blue energy orb orb, as I then shout, “KAMEHAMEHAAAAAA” as I release the orb into two two beams of energy, one that goes directly to goliath 1, and the other that goes directly to the gnome
Peter: and the one directed at the gnome ends up completely decimating him
Deadpool in character: Holy SHIT Varian, nice work…and suck it Braxis! Your men are WEAK
Peter: alright, let’s keep things moving…
*once it’s deadpool’s turn again*
Deadpool: alright, attempt number two at this shit, let’s fucking do this!
Quill: wait, what song do do we do, before we do this
Deadpool: considering the situation of this battle, and in honor of liam payne, I think we might need to bring out the big guns…
Half of the table confused: who’s liam payne?
Freddie; he was a member of this boy band known as one direction, but hang on, didn’t liam payne die years ago?
Deadpool: for you maybe! But for some people when this originally was written this is new information!
Freddie: although, on the note of what song we should do, if we DO want to go the boyband route I think we should go with I want it that way by the Backstreet boys
Lily Luna: solid pick, I second it
Quill: boring! If we want to do a “Boy Band” maybe do one of the greatest boy bands of all time, queen, we are the champions, especially because by the end of the battle we will be the champions
Scorpius: sorry lils, but I gotta go with quill here
Sirius: same here!
Charlotte; I don’t know, I gotta go, Hit Me Baby one more time
Rosie immediately; Seconded!
Dominique: Also is Queen even a boy band really?
Quill:it’s a band made up of entirely guys, it’s a boy band
Peter; alright, I’m going to open this vote up to the rest of the table to make the vote easier
Poe: alright, then, I’m with charlotte
Barry: I vote…I want it that way
Deadpool dryly: of course you would, I mean it makes sense considering that you look like the long lost member of the backstreet boys, speedy
Holly: …I’m with Freddie, Lily Luna and Barry
Chester: sorry Barr, but I gotta go with *singing* Hit me baby one more time!
Cisco: sorry to both of you because *singing* We are the champions, My friends…
Aurora: And weeeeee’ll keep on fighting, to the end!
Sirius: *summons his ghost guitar and plays the riff for we are the champions then makes it go away*
Allana: WHOA, Cisco! You Can sing?! …should we be concerned about the riff off?
Cisco innocently: very much so
Sirius: don’t worry, we’ll be fine Allana!
Barry innocently: we’ll see about that come tomorrow
Ahsoka: back to the vote, I want it that way
Cassie singing; tell me why?
Dominique singing: Ain’t nothin’ but a heartache!
George (62406): …Freddie, Hols, I’m sorry, but I’m going with we are the champions
George (111605): Same here, sorry ‘lana
Ben slowly: …hit me baby one more time?
Rosie and Charlotte innocently: you made the right choice
Gwen: I’m going with I want it that way
Tonks: We are the champions
Remus: same for me
Tej and Ramsey at the same time: Hit me baby one more time!
Peter: that leaves mr queen, MJ, and mr wilson assuming he wants to change his answer
Deadpool: *sighs* fineeeee, in that case… give me a sigggggggn
Rosie: Hit me baby ONE MORE TIME
Oliver: ……we are the champions
MJ: …I want it that way
Peter; alright, and with that the tally says…wow, that’s a close one, 8 for hit me baby one more time, 8 for I want it that way and 9 for We are the champions, all bards roll!
Deadpool: *rolls* 18!
Sirius; *rolls* 17
Quill: 19, yes!
Lily Luna: 15!
Scorpius: 16
Rosie: nat 20! Fuck yeah!
Peter: alright Charlotte, it’s all up to you, land a 14 or higher, and you can do your mass bardic inspiration
Charlotte: *holding the d20 in her hand* alright, time to put the Solo gambling genes to use… *rolls the d20 as it then rolls and it lands exactly on 14* YES
Peter: alright, describe what you do
Quill: ……I have a question, before we do this
Peter: yeah?
Quill: can I attempt to use my own dagger to cut myself free?
Peter: dexterity check?
Quill: *rolls* 19!
Peter: alright, you succeed, and I’m guessing you want to join the fight?
Quill: sort of, I free the other Bards so we can do this thing right
Sirius, Lily Luna and Scorpius: YES
Peter: alright, but none of you will be able to attack or join the fight due to the turn order being set, but you can help with this
Sirius, Lily Luna, Scorpius, and Quill: Deal!
Sirius: *stands up and summons his ghost guitar* I pull out my guitar!
Quill and Lily Luna: so do we!
Scorpius and Charlotte: I pull out my flute
Rosie: I pull out my lute
Deadpool: as do I! *stands up, taking the lute off of his back*
Peter; okay, Mr Black, Mr Wilson, neither of you need to pull out actual instrument
Sirius and Deadpool: but I want to!
Peter; *sighs* well alright then I guess…
Sirius; …normally I’d say it’d be a cold day in hell before I offered this but, Oi, wade, do you know how to actually play that thing or is it just for show?
Deadpool: yep! I know how to play it!
Rosie: *snorts* Bullshit! I say this as someone who can play damn near every instrument there is, there’s no way you know how to play the fucking—
Deadpool: *starts playing the opening riff to thunderstruck by AC/DC*
Rosie; ……I take back my earlier statement…
Charlotte: Alright, who’s actually singing the song?
Deadpool: I am the queen so I shall sing!
Quill: oooookay?
Sirius: Alright, when peter starts Deadpool, are we dueting this?
Deadpool: Hell yeah!
Peter: everyone then starts playing their instruments…
*sirius and deadpool both start playing we are the champions by queen*
Peter: as you then see a sudden look of confusion in the look of Braxis as he then asks, “w-what on earth is this strange melody you are performing” as it sounds like a sound that isn’t exactly heard in most parts
Deadpool in character while playing: I say, in my most elegant voice, “one of the the greatest songs, known in all of the goddamn lands” as I then start to sin–
Peter: oh, you don’t need to–
Oliver dryly: *sighing* trust me peter, there’s no stopping this
Peter: w-well alright then
Deadpool: … I’ve paid my dues…time after time, I’ve done my sentence, but committed no crimes, and bad mistakes, I’ve made a few, I’ve had my share of sand kicked in my fact, but I’ve come throughhhhhhhhh, and we mean to go on, on, and on, and onnnn, weeeee are the champions, my friends–
Charlotte quietly to Poe: ……is it just me or is it really weird that he has this good of a voice?
Poe quietly: no, it’s not just you, it’s freaking me out too
Ben quietly: I was thinking the same thing
Rosie under her breath: thank god he’s not in the riff off
*when the song is done*
Peter: okay, I’d like to start off by saying, thank you to mr wilson and mr black for that amazing performance
Sirius: okay, kid, could you please stop calling me mr black and just call me sirius?
Peter awkwardly; okay, sorry–
Sirius; no, you don’t need to apologize, Peter
Peter awkwardly: okay So–Sirius, either way, thank you, but congrats guys, your bardic inspiration worked, you can give a d4 to anyone you wish, for additional damage in their next attack
Charlotte: Poe *hands him the custom d4 peter gave her* I want this back, because this is cool as hell
Poe: that’s fair enough
Rosie innocently: same for you, Bennyboo *handing over her d4*
Ben dryly while blushing slightly: really, Rosie? In front of everyone?
MJ innocently teasing: What’s the matter? Don’t like your girlfriend calling you her nickname for you, bennyboo?
Ben; *groans dryly*
Lily Luna: Freddie *tosses him her d4*
Sirius: I’d give it to ‘rory, but she’s still unable to fight, so let’s go…Holly? *passes down his dice*
Holly: thanks alt ghost dad! *takes the dice* …that’s never going to be any less weird is it?
Sirius cheerfully: nope! But I’m just rolling with it at this point
Holly: fair enough!
Quill: let’s goooo…Cisco *hands him his d4*
Cisco: thanks man!
Scorpius: I’m thinking…Barry *tosses barry the dice*
Barry: thanks scorpius!
Deadpool innocently; And with that, remaining we have the new guy, dollar store hawkeye, the MJ that ISN’T for the streets, the padawan of space jesus, and the padawan of female space jesus…so MJ who’s in the streets is out, sorry, the padawans are out because they’re total newbs, which leaves the new guy and dollar store hawkeye…Dollar store hawkeye, no offense, but I think we both know where this is going...new guy! Catch! *tosses Chester his d4*
Chester; *catches it* thanks Wade!
Oliver; alright, now that that’s done, I can take my turn, I use sneak attack to fire two arrows, one in the sky to the distract, and one at Braxis *rolls a 12*
Peter: unfortunately, while the distraction arrow works, arrow aimed at Braxis just barely misses as he then says, “nice try, foolish elf!” as he then sticks his tongue out in mockery of you
Cisco: …I have three d4s, two for each beam in the eldritch blast, and one additional because of the bardic inspiration, could I potentially combine that for one combined beam that hits everyone? Would that by any chance end the battle?
Peter; …you could, but it’d require a VERY High roll
Cisco: how high are we talking
Peter; You’d need a perfect roll…you’d need a nat 20, and three 4s, one for each d4
Cisco: …okay, Cisco, time to put every bit of luck you’ve ever had into this roll…let’s do this…*rolls all 4 of his dice on the table as they all roll as they then see the d20 bounce onto the 20*
Barry: okay, that’s one 20…
*just then two of the d4s bounce onto fours*
MJ: oh damn, that’s two fours…
Charlotte; c’mon, c’mon…
*just then the last d4 lands on the 4*
Everyone at the table jumping up in excitement except for peter, even Oliver: YES!!!!
Chester; CISCO MY MAN, YOU LEGEND *daps him up*
Peter; *laughing* nice rolling cisco! Alright, now you charge up your eldritch blast then release the powerful concentrated team onto the raiders, killing two of the halflings, the dwarf, and seriously injuring many of the others as you then hear the dragonborn yell, “Sir! We must retreat!” as braxis then responds with a reluctant but venomous “fine…But this won’t be the last you see of The knights of Gareeb!” as the remaining raiders then leave and running off into the night
Aurora in character; nice job guys, but can someone untie us now?!
Sirius in character: right, sorry about that Aerisia
Peter: alright then, now, you all untie the others, and considering it’s still night, you all go back to sleep, and that’s a long rest, you’re all back at full health…aaaaaand, that’s where we’re ending the session for today! So what do you guys think so far?!
Charlotte; pretty fun game so far! Thanks for the invite, peter! And for the dice gift, which reminds me, poe?
Poe; yep, already on it *handing it over*
*everyone who was borrowing a dice hands theirs back to whoever they belonged to*
Peter; of course! The more the merrier
Chester: yeah, I’m especially thankful you guys let me in, especially considering I’m technically not a guardian, I’m more of an assist TO a guardian
Peter; it’s fine! Besides, you’re a great player and I’m happy to have you, and that goes for all of you, also, I can’t wait to meet Allegra, but before that happens, I need everyone at this table to do me a favor, and do not tell the people in the other sessions about the dice and dice trays, or about details about your sessions, certain things are fine, but not TOO much, the dice I say because I want it to be a surprise for everyone, and the session info because you don’t want to give the other subparties advantages over you
Charlotte; okay, but one thing that WILL be going to the others…*pulls out her specphone and uses it to take a picture deadpool* this holopic of Deadpool in this outfit *sends it in the groupchat*
Deadpool: okay, and? I don’t care
Barry: don’t worry, peter, we won’t tell anyone about the dice
Chester; yeah, also, these dice are really cool, and I’m definitely looking forward to the rest of this campaign, because this was a lot of fun
Rosie: yeah, and I’m looking forward to seeing how many innuendos I can casually fit into the dnd session!
Charlotte through the link to ben: ……Ben if you fuck up this relationship with Rosie, I think I might have to kill you
Ben: *groans dryly*
Rosie quietly innocently to Ben: ...I don’t think you’ll be groaning, when we get back to your place tonight and I promise to make some innuendos you DO like…or actually, I think you will be groaning, a LOT, then you’ll be making me groan, a LOT…
Peter; so are you guys all ready for the riff off tomorrow?
Cisco: yep we’re ready!
Barry: and Chester, you’re sure, you’re fine manning S.T.A.R labs with just you and Cecile?
Chester: I’ll be fiiiiine, besides, Allegra will still be available if we need backup, and same goes for Iris if there’s an emergency
Freddie: hang on, your Iris isn’t coming to the riff off?
Barry: yeah, she said she needed to finish an article tomorrow for the CCC
Lily Luna; well, that’ll make things a lot easier to understand tomorrow
Deadpool: yeah, it’s almost as if that was planned somehow *looking to the 4th wall*
Peter: Oliver: well, anyway, I hope to see most of you there tomorrow, I’m going to stay and clean up
MJ: me and Cass are going to stay and help then
Cassie: yep!
Oliver; actually–
Peter: it’s fine mr queen, I’d rather do this myself…well with MJ and Cassie then I guess
Oliver; alright, *snaps his fingers and a breach opens, this will take everyone back to wherever they need to go
Barry: …Oliver, could I have a word with you in the other room real quick
Cisco knowing what this is about: yeah, i too need to have a quick word
Oliver; alright? I’ll see you all tomorrow
*the two of them go to the main room of the bar*
Barry: …that roll to save me and holly…you cheated the dice didn’t you?
Oliver; No? Why the hell would I do that? I didn’t even want to be here!
Cisco: maybe because you’re having fun?
Barry: and you just don’t want to admit it because you’re being stubborn
Cisco; Because you seemed really happy when we won that battle, too happy for someone who claims to not want to be here
Oliver; I don’t know what you’re talking about *opens a breach* but I’ll see you guys tomorrow
Barry innocently: *smirking lightly* suuuure you don’t…*walking towards the breach*
Oliver: why’re you smirking, Don’t smirk and walk away from me like that!
Cisco: *walking to the breach and smirking* see you tomorrow…and at the next session!
*they both walk through the breach*
Oliver; *semi-reluctantly smiling slightly holding the scratch made dice pouch filled with his dice that peter made* …the next session…
Notes:
And that brings the session of the elven tribe to a close, next up is the session of the Dwarf Hoard, but before that, next chapter is the big (two part) event I've been kind of building up to, THE MULTIVERSAL RIFF OFF, until then, this has been a Padjake written story, now, Mischief Managed!
Chapter 14: THE MULTIVERSAL RIFF-OFF (pt 1/2)
Notes:
Alright, it's time for the first part of the Riff-off, also I'd like to note I'm borrowing a LOT of ideas from reddit posts and tiktoks this chapter, now on with the chapter!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
*The Multiversal Bar*
Oliver Queen/The Green Arrow/The Spectre; *sighs* here we go… *snaps his fingers and suddenly he’s wearing a green suit and tie* I can’t believe I agreed to do this…well this is definitely going to be interesting
*just then Dick walks through the breach with seven other people, one in a wheel chair*
Oliver: seriously Dick, I never thought YOU’D be the one I’d be yelling for telling too many people about the multiverse
Dick Grayson/Nightwing: *wearing a blue suit and tie* hey, you said, family, as well as Spouses, Baby mamas, and Fiancees qualify, I’m still in the right here
Oliver: *sighs dryly* Bruce really did love taking in strays, didn’t he?
Jason Todd/Red Hood: *a tall man with a dark hair, with a white streak of hair, in a leather jacket with a red bat on it* oh yeah, I mean you’d know considering you brought the original stray into your team
Damian Wayne/Robin: *a literal child, with darker skin, with green eyes and a button up green shirt and shorts* Speak for them, you ignorant buffoon, I’m the blood son
Dick: Damian. What did we talk about when meeting new people
Damian: *sighs dryly* don’t insult them on first interactions, dammit grayson
Dick: uh-huh, you’ll thank me later, and trust me, this isn’t the guy you wanna piss off
Oliver; …you brought a child with you to the riff off?
Damian: I am no ordinary child–
Oliver: I know, you’re damian wayne, aka the fifth robin, son of bruce wayne aka batman and Talia al Ghul, and grandson of Ra’as al Ghul
Koriand’r/Starfire: *a woman with red hair, green eyes, and orange skin, wearing a purple dress* I take it you’re Oliver queen?
Oliver; yes I am, Koriand’r, or would you prefer Starfire?
Jason: …so this guy just knows ALL of our identities? I mean I get Kori’s is public but he knew Damian’s
Kori: Please, call me Kori
Oliver: I do, Jason Todd, aka the second robin, and now Red Hood, and alright, if that’s what you prefer
Duke Thomas/The Signal: *a man with dark skin and a bright yellow button up* w-wait hang on, Dick, you told him ALL of our identities?
Oliver; ……has dick explained how the multiverse works yet Duke Thomas, or should I say the signal?
Dick: I have, but for some of them seeing is believing
Barbara Gordan/Oracle: *woman in a black dress, red hair, and glasses, in a wheelchair, rolls over to Oliver* So you’re the guy who runs the multiverse? Nice to meet you, Barbara Gordon *offering a handshake*
Oliver: *shaking her hand* Oliver Queen, and I don’t RUN the multiverse, I protect it, whenever it’s in immediate danger, and no, he didn’t tell me your identities, he wouldn’t need to, but just so you know, you’re heading to into a universe where many of you either don’t exist, or your identities are known, and all of the guardians are likely aware of your identities as well, not because Dick told them, but because of the fictional thing that I’m know dick explained, so you won’t need to keep them secret, well around the guardians that is
Timothy “Tim” Drake-Wayne/Red Robin: *a man wearing a red button-up shirt, jeans and green shoes* oh god, he wasn’t joking about that…Tim Drake-Wayne, by the way, but you probably know that I guess
Oliver: yes, I know, who you are Tim, CEO of Wayne Enterprises, and Red Robin, the third of the robins
Stephanie Brown/Spoiler: *a woman with with blonde hair in a purple shirt and jeans* What about me? Do you know who I am? Hmm?
Oliver; Stephanie Brown, fourth robin, third batgirl, currently operates under the alias of “the Spoiler” and is the daughter of the cluemaster
Stephanie; well shit…
Cassandra “Cass” Cain/Orphan: *a woman with darker skin, dark hair, and a black crop top and jeans* ……okay, do me, but you don’t need to go into parental details
Oliver: alright, Cassandra Cain, formerly the second batgirl, who now currently operates under the alias of “orphan”
*just then Charlotte, Poe, Rey, Chewie, and Finn all come through a breach with Charlotte very obviously kinda pissed off, and poe with a small white streak of hair*
Charlotte: OLIVERRRR!!!
Oliver: *sighs dryly* Hello Charlotte
Charlotte; DON’T “heLlO ChArLoTtE” ME! I want to know, Why the FUCK is my husband’s hair turning WHITE?!?! Don’t get me wrong, Poe, I think it looks nice on you, but I’d more like to know is SOMETHING WRONG?!
Chewbacca/Chewie: be careful with your answer
Dick confused under his breath: *chokes on air* …I just understood that…
Jason: *eyes widening knowing why* He’s been in the Lazarus pit, hasn’t he
Charlotte: ……He has–Hang on how do you–Better question who, are YOU?!
Jason: Jason Todd, Red Hood, Dick’s brother, but as for how I know…Because I did too, see? *gesturing to his streak* it’s even in the same spot, it’s one of the side effects of the pit
Charlotte; I’m sorry Dick has a brothe–Who are ALL of you??
Barbara: Barbara Gordon, Oracle
Tim: Tim Drake-Wayne, Red Robin–and I’m sorry is that A WOOKIE?!?!
Chewbacca: the name’s Chewbacca
Charlotte: he said his name’s Chewbacca
Cassandra: Cassandra Cain, Orphan, but just call me Cass
Stephanie Brown: Stephanie Brown, Spoiler, call me Steph
Duke: Duke Thomas, Signal
Kori: I am Koriand’r of Tamaran, also known as Starfire, but please, call me Kori
Dick slowly when talking to Damian: …Damian…?
Damian: *sighs dryly* you know I really don’t like this Grayson…Damian Wayne, Robin, son of the Batman and Heir to the league of Assassins
Charlotte: as in the group of ninjas with lightsabers Finn told us about?
Finn: it was definitely confusing
Tim: I’m sorry, did you say lightsabers, as if they're real? Also can we go back to the wookie thing?!?!
Dick: ……Okay, so don’t get mad, but…*pulls off a lightsaber from his utility belt and ignites it revealing the blue blade*
Charlotte: Wait, when did YOU get one?!
Damian: Grayson. …how long have you had that for?
Dick: …since bruce died, apparently Yoda gave it to him
Damian dryly: …I say we jump grayson
Jason semi-jokingly: I second that!
Charlotte: okay maybe we circle back to this, so you’re all Dick’s…siblings?
Jason: other than Damian, as he’ll tell you, we were all adopted by bruce
Barbara: except for me that is, I was just “emotionally adopted” I still have a well and living father
Stephanie: yeah, I'm also in the emotionally adopted group, I have a mom, she's alright
Kori: and me! I was never a bat or bird, I’m a member of the titans on our earth, and Dick is my Fiance, and the founder of the titans, and I’m also the current leader of the titans
Charlotte: and you’re here because…?
Barbara bluntly: to bully dick
Jason: exactly! Just like how Babs put it
Kori: well, except for me, I’m here to support him
Dick: *groaning dryly as he puts his lightsaber away* also, just so you know, this isn’t even half of the batfamily, there’s a lot more, especially when you consider significant others, Jason’s got Roy, Tim has–well bernard’s just a normal guy, but still, he counts, then there’s Catwoman, and we also have Jon, then there's also Jean-Paul, Luke Fox, Lucius Fox, Jim Gordon, Harley Quinn, and of course we can’t forget about Alfred–
Stephanie cheerfully: don’t forget about Jarro the Starro!
Poe Dameron confused: who’s Jarro the Starro?
Dick: ……that’s another long story, but for now let’s move on, we have to get to the Riff off
Charlotte: …okay, but before we do, Oliver, I need a favor *slams down an override card*
Oliver: *takes a sip of beer* why do I have a feeling I’m not going to like this…
*meanwhile On earth-X in lux*
Adelynn Skywalker-Kenobi (X): *sighing dryly at the Bar* I can’t believe I agreed to do this, Christian, I’m gonna need a drink
Christian Chance; how strong are we thinking?
Adelynn(X); double shot of firewhiskey
Echo: you’ll be fiiiine Adelynn
Fives: *snorting* yeah, I just wish I had time to go get my camera
Adelynn(X): oh shut it, fives…hey, you said Bobby is coming to this right, where the hell is he?
Robert “Bobby” Drake/Iceman: He’s right here! *walking over* Hey there Generals! *smirking*…commander
Fives: hey bobby!
Adelynn (X): alright, now that it’s just the four of us, I want you to listen good Bobby *pulls out her lightsaber* I’m sure Fives told you about how close he and I were before he went missing, and was presumed dead in the battle of new york? I can't remember which one right now so don't try to make that joke about "which one"
Bobby: he did
Adelynn (X): good, and I’m assuming you know that I’m a jedi? or I'd more call myself a "grey Jedi" And also have the ability to neutralize someone’s powers
Bobby: right, but–
Adelynn (X): good, then I want you to imagine what I can do with my lightsaber with you unable to ice blast me
Bobby: mhmm, is that what you think my powers are, just I can shoot ice at people?
Adelynn(X): yeah, is that not what it is? also I don’t think you’d like to meet the business end of a lightsaber
Bobby: mhmm…Okay then, stab me
Adelynn (X) in slight shock: …come again?
Bobby innocently: you said you’d stab me, that’s what you were just threatening to do, so go on, do it, that is unless that was an empty threat
Adelynn(X): ……fives…is this normal for him???
Fives innocently: don’t look at me!
Echo quietly to Fives: he’s not going to do what I think he’s going to is he
Fives quietly: yyyyep…
Bobby: here, I’ll help you *grabs her hand that’s holding the lightsaber and lifts his shirt so the emitter is right against his gut* go ahead, turn it on
Adelynn(X): ……you’re fucking insane you know that right? I mean hell I’m a SKYWALKER and even I think this is kriffed up
Bobby smirking: To be fair, you’re the skywalker that actually has sense, but don’t worry, you won’t need to worry about me no matter what happens, also you think I’m insane? That I’m just another “CrAzY MuTiE”?
Adelynn (X) SO confused; That’s not what I– what the fuck is going on right now??
Fives: BOBBY
Bobby: *sighs* sorry fives, but back to this, you know what I’ll just… *move his hand that’s on the lightsaber and flips the switch that turns it on causing for the blade to go through his gut making a hole in his stomach*
Adelynn (X) freaking out: OH SHIT SHIT SHIT *letting go of the lightsaber in shock*
Bobby; –ooh, that tickles! But I’m just going to… *takes the lightsaber out of his gut as the area that the hole was in as he then turns entirely to ice as the hole then patches itself up then waves the lightsaber around* whoa these things are kind of cool, they’ve got a little more weight to them though than I expected though
Adelynn (X): WHAT THE FUCK?!?!
Bobby; *turns off the lightsaber and tosses it back to her* there you go *turns back to his normal form* I should probably explain, because you see, what you didn’t realize is I do a lot more than just “shoot ice” at people, there’s a reason I’m called Iceman, you see I’m an Omega level mutant, if you know what that is?
Adelynn (X) still confused as hell: No, I fucking don’t?
Bobby being semi-smug: It means there’s no limit to my ice making capabilities, and that because of that, I can’t really die unless it’s by natural causes, I can turn my entire body to ice, if for some reason I’m “melted,” I can reform from a single water molecule in the air, and as for your dampening capabilities, while your powers my weaken me, only way i’d be killable is if you could get a mutant inhibitor collar on me, meaning, and I hate to have to be the one to break it to you, your threats are meaningless…oh, and unrelated, but it also slows down my aging process, what my real age is, you’ll never know!
Adelynn(X) dryly to fives: …you couldn’t have TOLD ME THAT BEFORE VOD?!?!
*bobby snorts*
Fives: *laughing slightly* I-I thought it’d be funny! And I was right! Other than the bit where Bobby started to joke about you being racist
Echo: okay, that was kind of cruel fives, c’mon, man
Bobby: oh, no, no, no, this was all my idea, he warned me that the shovel talk was coming, so I thought this would be a funny idea
Fives: and then I just kept it a secret, because I knew it’d be funny
Adelynn (X): ...Christian I’m gonna need that drink, asap
Christian: on it
Bobby: and I’m going to need those clothes I gave you because my clothes are now wet from the ice
Christian: I’m on it, and here you go bobby *tosses him a set of clothes*
Bobby innocently: *catching the clothes* but back to the point of all of this, you won’t have to worry about me Adelynn, I can promise you I won’t hurt Fives, I love him, more than anything in the world, and if anyone else does anything that hurts him, let’s just say I’ll do to them much worse than that lightsaber of yours could do
Adelynn: …good *takes the drink and downs both shots of firewhiskey christian poured*
Hudson literally on the ceiling: Hey christian! You think you can get me a root beer?!
Christian: What th–HUDSON?!?! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING UP THERE?!?!
Hudson: don’t worry! I’m just finishing getting the holoprojector set up for miss stark so Oliver can see us, and we can see him *drops his screwdriver* shit…Constantine!
John Constantine: On–
Zatanna Zatara; revirdwercs Pu Etativel! *the screwdriver he dropped on levitates up in the air to the ceiling* *innocently* gotta move faster than that Johnny
Constantine: *laughing softly* god, I bloody missed you Z
Zatanna: *smirking* I missed you too Johnny
Hudson dryly: *grabbing the screwdriver* Hey, guys just so you know I can still hear you from up here! Also Iceman, Fives, I gotta agree with Adelynn, what you did was kind of messed up, also Christian, where are we at with that root beer?
Christian: depends, are you going to get the fuck down from there?!?! Your aunt and uncle would kill me if something happened to you when you’re that high up, and I was in the room when it happened and could’ve done something
Hudson; don’t worry, I’ll be done soon, I just need to tighten this aaaaaand We’re in business! *realizes*…or we would be if the projector didn’t now need to be recalibrated due to the enormous height change, and realigned so Oliver comes out as life size hologram and not mini or giant sized hologram, and I don’t have the tools to do that *sighs dryly*
Susan Foreman: *walking into the main room with Charlie, holding up her new sonic screwdriver (resembling that of the third doctor’s sonic screwdriver with the crystal from her previous one), wearing a blouse with the doctor’s old bow tie, a pair of jeans, and her frock coat* I think I have something that could do the trick! A Time lord multitool of sorts! Also I have to say, I’m loving the Lux remodel, looks even better than it did when it was originally open
Hudson: Are you sure you’re fine with me using that?
Susan: I mean I'm fine with it! You did help with the upgrades after all! Charlie, could you fly this up to hudson?
Charlie Martin: Sure thing Susan! *pops out his wings then takes the sonic screwdriver and flies it up to hudson*
Hudson: *taking the sonic from charlie* thanks Charlie *uses the sonic screwdriver* and NOW we’re in business, Charlie, you think you could fly me back down so I don’t have to walk back down? *taps a button on the boots he’s wearing*
Charlie: sure *flies Hudson down*
Christian: Okay, out of curiosity, why the hell wasn’t Morgan doing that?
Hudson: because Morgan said Lucifer needed her help with something else for the riff off, and don’t worry, it was perfectly safe
Christian: uh-huh, you literally standing on the ceiling is perfectly safe, hand on, how the hell did you even get up there??
Hudson stomping the ground: Gravity Boots! They basically let me walk on walls with ease by sort of absorbing my weight so I don’t feel the pull of the gravity to the ground
Susan: So like my grandfather’s intelligence gloves! Or his Anti-grav motorbike!
Hudson: intelligence gloves? Anti-grav motorbike?
Susan: you should ask him to show you some time, and odds are he’d love your boots! I know I certainly do
Hudson: yeah, I’ll tell Morgan about it and we’ll talk to him *with a look of innocence*…so Christian…now that I’m down, can I please get a root beer?
Christian: *sighs dryly* I swear, you and your aunt with the looks of innocence after you do shit that scares everyone…I-fine, but out of curiosity, did you even get the thing to work
Hudson: *smirking* let’s see *taps his sunglasses* Charles, if you could please activate the projector?
C.H.A.R.L.E.S: right away, sir
*a green holo-projection shoots down as they then see a life sized oliver in his suit*
Oliver: Hey guys
Hudson: Victory!
Constantine: you know what’s funny about all of this, half of the people in this bloody room don’t even know who he is
Echo: huh, you know, you make a point
Oliver: hang on, where’s morgan, who activated the projector?
Hudson: that was me! Morgan’s busy with Lucifer
Oliver: oh, huh…impressive, just so you know we’re going to have people coming in, right now, and for reasons that’ll make sense later, I’m going offline *turns of the projector on his end*
*just then a breach opens up and Dick walks through with the bat family members*
Dick: hey guys!
Leonard Snart/Captain Cold: *walking in with Wally* hey there dick, I notice you brought a lot of people with you today to watch
Dick: hey Snart–
Jason: WHOA *pulls out his guns*
Damian: *pulling out a birdarang*
Kori: *prepping her lasers*
Tim: *sighing dryly* why can’t anything ever be easy for us?
Jason: what the hell is Captain cold doing here?!
Dick: guys, relax! On this earth Captain Cold is a good guy!
Wallace “Wally” West: *speeds and takes Damian’s birdarang and Jason’s guns*
Snart; yeah, besides, that wouldn’t be the best call, I don’t think you’d want three upset speedsters, exhibit a being my buddy Wallace here
Tim: Wally?!
Jason: I’m sorry, Captain Cold is a GOOD GUY, HERE?! The Rogues haven't gone straight since that time Impulse died!
Tim: why does Wally look so much younger than he does on our earth?? also VERY different...
Dick: yeah, this earth is VERY different from ours
Barbara: you already told us about the Nazi thing, I don’t things could get more surprising
Dick: Wally, could you return their weapons?
Wally: are they going to try to attack Lenny here?
Jason: ……no? I mean it could be worse, at least it’s not Joker
*wally returns their weapons*
Dick mouthing to them all: nobody tell him about gotham here
Jason: …sorry about the threatening, by the way
Dick firmly: …Damian.
Damian: if you’re waiting for me to give an apology Grayson it’s not coming, I’m surprised Todd even gave the apology, we didn’t know about him not being a villain on this earth, so we have no reason to be sorry, or at least I don’t
Dick dryly: Damian, you still threatened him
Damian dully: *sighs dryly* fine, I’m sorry
Snart: out of curiosity, why did you bring a child to the riff off?
Damian: I’m not a child!
Stephanie: You’re eleven damian, you’re a child
Hudson: WAIT HE’S ELEVEN?!?!
Damian sharply: what’s it to you?
Hudson: Oh HELL YES, I’M NOT THE YOUNGEST ONE HERE!!!
Damian dryly: you don’t need to make a big deal about it asshole, besides, I’m no mere average child like you, you ignorant brat, I am the blood son of the batman and heir to the league of assassins, and was trained from birth in said league
Jason innocently: you mean like you don’t need to be a little shit 24/7?
Damian dryly: screw you todd!
Dick: DAMIAN!!! JASON!!
*Cass and Steph just laughing at the three of them and Tim just sighing dryly*
Barbara: and with this one conversation I think you can roughly tell the order of when we all joined bruce’s crusade in gotham
Christian: I think I can guess, let’s go, Dick is the first, the guy with the white streak was next, then you, then I’m guessing the guy with deeper eyebags than General Echo, the other two girls were all the middle children, in that order, and then I’m gonna say, the kid was the second to newest with the last one being the guy who looks more lost than any of you
Stephanie: aaaaand you called it babs, the guy who doesn’t even know our names got it in one!
Christian: the Name’s Christian, also Hudson, here’s your root beer *slides him a glass*
Hudson: *catches it* thanks, also for the record, Christian, you might want to record this, odds are Aunt ev will want to see this later, damian, I’m not league of assassins trained, but I’m not exactly “an average child” either so you don’t need to be an asshole about it
Damian: Were you trained by one of the greatest crime fighters in the world, or are you currently being trained by one of his top proteges? Because I’m both
Hudson: no, but I am a kid with a genius level intellect who is being mentored by one of the greatest minds in the world, and arguably one of the most powerful members of the resistance, despite not technically having any powers, and my aunt who while not league of assassins trained, is one of the top spies for the resistance, and as are both of my parents, and did I mention I have a genius level intellect and have built some crazy shit, including these gravity boots I’m wearing right now that let me walk on the ceiling, despite not having any powers?
Damian; that’s impossi–
Bobby: *pulls out his phone* Nope! I took a picture! *passes the phone to Hudson* thanks bobby! *hops down from the bar stool he was on and walks over to damian and shows the picture*
Damian: b-but—
Jason: …I like this kid
Cass: …okay, normally I’d say we should try to help him out but he walked into this…and I like him too
Hudson: good, hate to break it to you, but you fucked up calling me an ignorant brat, because I was trained by both my aunt in the ways of the snark, as well as from THE Morgan Stark, someone from one of the snarkiest bloodlines known to the resistance, meaning I know how to snark my ass off when needed, so in response to all of this after showing you proof, all I have to say now is, who’s the ignorant brat now, “kid”
Damian: WE’RE THE SAME AGE
Hudson: I’m a year older…
Damian darkly: grayson, I don’t care what you say I’m going to attack this boy *pulls out two birdarangs*
Hudson: *activating his iron gauntlet and aiming it* okay, cool, try it and see what happens
Dick: Do it Damian and you’re off patrol for a week
Damian; you wouldn’t Dare.
Dick: Considering this would actually be an even match where both of you get seriously hurt, and I REALLY don't want to piss off his aunt and uncle, yes.
Damian: *puts his birdarangs away* fine…you’re lucky Grayson talked me out of bringing my sword
Hudson; good, now let’s start over *deactivates the gauntlet and offers a handshake with a look of innocence* Hudson Alves-Hurder
Damian: *semi-reluctantly shakes his hand* Damian Wayne, Robin
Hudson under his breath: seriously? This kid gets to be a superhero sidekick and everyone here gets pissed whenever I even MENTION spying before 18– *outloud* also I’m sorry, you have a SWORD?!?!
Jason quietly to Dick: Damian and this kid need to hang out more, it’ll keep him grounded
Dick quietly: I agree
Snart: so dick, care to introduce us all?
Dick: right, everyone, here we have my brothers, Jason, Tim, Damian, and Duke, and then we have Cass, Stephanie, and Barbara, and finally my fiance Kori, guys, you already recognized Snart and Wally of this earth, Hudson and Christian already introduced themselves, then we have Echo, Fives, Adelynn, and Bobby all over there, then you guys know our earth’s Zatanna so that should be easily recognizable, next there’s Constantine, or John, then there’s Charlie and Susan
Constantine: I think you might be giving the weasleys a run for their money when it comes to who has the most family
Dick: and this isn’t even half of us, and I’m guessing you all are going to be watching?
Adelynn (X): they are, I’m actually a part of this
Dick: oh, Nice!
Adelynn (X): but out of curiosity, how why did you bring all these guys with you?
Stephanie cheerfully: we came here to bully dick!
Fives cheerfully: hey! That’s why me and Echo are here! To bully Adelynn! Come on! join the club!
*Adelynn (X) rolling her eyes dryly*
Jason: oh hell yeah, I’m joining them! Plus they’re by the bar soooooo… *walking over*
Dick: *sighing dryly* actually, you’re all going to be by the bar, that’s our audience section according to Lucifer, also just so you guys know, Charlotte, poe, finn, and rey, are on their way, but Charlotte was doing something with her override cards and Oliver told us to go?
Adelynn: huh…
*just then Charlotte, Poe, Chewie, Finn, and Rey all walk through the breach with three new green force ghosts*
Han Solo(364) as a sort of force ghost: oh for forces sake that felt weird
Luke Skywalker (364) as a sort of force ghost: how do you think I feel about this, I spent half my life studying the force and not once did I think something like THIS would be possible
Leia Organa-Solo (364) as a sort of force ghost: would you two quit complaining, if it allows us to spend a day with Ben and Charlotte, I’m taking the win
Han; fair enough Leia, also Luke I TOLD YOU the Emo thing was just a phase!
Jason: *taking a breath* Dick…Is that mark fucking hamil?
Dick in shock: I-I’m not s–
Tim: I might be onboard with the plan to jump dick
Dick: hang on, I didn’t know about–
Echo, Snart, Wally, and Constantine (with echo choking on something he was drinking): JAMES?!?!
Luke: I Never said it–also I’m sorry, why the hell are those four looking at me like they’ve seen a ghost that they know and just called me james?
Charlotte: that’s a good question uncle luke, guys I don’t know who the hell James is but this is my uncle Luke Skywalker, and my mom and dad, Leia Organa-Solo, and Han Solo
Snart; okay, there seems to be some confusion going on here, because that ghost-man looks exactly like a man that many of us have known for years–
*just then Barry, Caitlin, and HR all come through a breach with Barry in a red button-up, HR in a shirt and suit-vest, and caitlin in a dress*
Barry Allen/The Flash: Hey G–*sees Luke* …Trickster?!?!
Harrison “HR” Wells: Well isn’t this a predicament, didn’t you say Barry that this earth’s trickster is dead
Luke confused: who the hell is “The Trickster?!”
Charlotte; no, guys, this is my uncle Luke, Luke Skywalker
HR: WHAT?!?!
Barry: Wait, oh so THAT uncle Luke–*realizes* I think I know what’s going on here
Caitlin Snow (prime): …hang on didn’t this happen with–
Barry: with my dad and Jay, yep
Snart: …hang on Jay, as in Jay Garrick? You mean your dad’s cousin? The First Speedster of this earth?
Barry: ……I’m sorry, did you say cousin–I mean I guess that would make sense that there would be some reason for them both existing here…and now that I think about it Mark hamil does look a lot like the trickster…
Caitlin: Barry, maybe we table that conversation about our earth’s mark hamil and the trickster for another time
Barry; right, okay, i have somewhat of an explanation, so this same thing happened when we first met Jay Garrick of Earth-3, or what was earth-3, and we saw that he looked exactly like my father, despite not being doppelgangers exactly, which is what I think is happening here with James Jesse or the Trickster and…*still processing* …Luke Skywalker
Charlotte: …huh…Okay, Barry, you, Oliver, Cisco, or someone with a lot of experience needs to just make like a crash course or something for anyone new to this shit
*just then Cisco, Sara, and another man in a blue button up are sped in by Kara*
Kara Danvers/Kara Zor-El/Supergirl: *in a blue dress* you know she’s right Barry it would be a good idea to do that, sorry, super hearing, Oliver accidentally breached us to morgan’s lab also–oh my god I didn’t mishear that, Y-you’re Luke Skywalker…and Han Solo…AND LEIA ORGANA!!
The Guy in the button up: oh my god…Kara, I hope you realize this is the third greatest day in my life, trumping when I found out you were supergirl
Kara: no, that’s fair…
Cisco Ramon/Vibe in shock: *in just a button up and jeans* …okay, and I already thought today was going to be an insane day as is but this really is Luke Frakking Skywalker…*pulls out his specphone*
Sara Lance/White Canary: Oh Ray’s going to lose it when he gets here
Charlotte: so who’re you? *to the guy*
Jason realizing: is that…Jeremy Jordan???
Winslow “winn” Schott jr/Toyman II: who? No! My name’s Winn Schott, I’m from Earth-prime, 31st century
Tim: huh…I know a guy from your time…also BACK TO YOU THREE, This is INSANE…
IN THE MULTIVERSAL GROUP CHAT
The one who gets FEELINGS (Cisco)
Okay, 1. We really need to find a way from giving deadpool access to nicknames and 2. EVERYONE WHO IS COMING TO THE RIFF OFF GET YOUR ASSES HERE NOW, LUKE SKYWALKER, LEIA ORGANA AND HAN SOLO ARE ALL HERE, and no I don’t mean Carrie fisher, Mark Hamil, and Harrison Ford, I mean the REAL LUKE, LEIA, AND HAN, THE HOLY TRINITY OF STAR WARS IS HERE AT LUX, THIS IS NOT A DRILL PEOPLE
Microman (Ray)
Cisco, Please tell me you’re not joking?!
The one who gets FEELINGS
I’m as serious as I am about the fact that Han shot first
The One who fucked with time multiple times (and had no consequences)
OH SHIT HE’S NOT LYING, EVERYBODY, GO GO GO
Barry: Well if people weren’t rushing to get here sooner before, they will now
Cisco: okay, i’d like to start by saying it is an HONOR to meet the three of you
Kara: it really is!
Leia: please, you don’t need to do all of that
Barry bluntly: just wait until the others get here
Charlotte slowly realizing: ……this might have been a mistake
*just then a breach opens and Ray, Scott, Peter, Ned, MJ, Iris, and All of the weasley cousins come rushing through a breach all in nice clothes*
Ray Palmer/The Atom in shock: Oh my god they weren’t joking
Peter Parker/Spider-Man: nope…
Ned Leeds (200000): Oh my god it’s–
Iris Wood: Luke Fucking Skywalker…
Leo Weasley: Leia Organa…
Freddie Weasley: and Han Goddamn Solo…
Dominique Weasley: this is insane, there’s no way
Louis Weasley; Hold up…*recognizing Jason* THAT’S JASON FUCKING TODD
Jason: uhhhh, Hi?
Chloe Diggory: …who’s Jason Todd?
Dominique Weasley: c’mon! You’re telling me You’re not more excited to meet Luke Skywalker than Jason–C-Cassandra Cain…*recognizing her and getting slightly nervous*
Cass: aaand now I’m getting recognized…
Louis: not so funny now, is it Dom? and to answer your question it’s close
Dominique darkly quietly to Louis: Shut. UP.
Chloe: okay who are these people??
Louis: …I’m showing you batman comics when we get back to our earth
Charlotte: oh, right, the whole fiction thing…seriously, Barry, Cisco, you two and Oliver really need to consider making a class or a pamphlet for this shit or something
Tim: Yeah, because I’d like to know why the hell we’re getting recognized when we just met these people
Dick: Remember, Oliver explained that they’d know who you were?
Tim: no, he said they’d know our identities, not that they’d IMMEDIATELY recognize us
Albus Potter: I’m gonna take a shot in the Dark and say…Tim Drake-Wayne?
Duke: and that makes three!
Lily Luna Potter; in Louis and Dom’s defense Red Hood is Louis’ favorite batfam member and *innocently* as for Dominique…She has her own reasons for Orphan being her favorite batfam member
Dominique; LILY LUNA POTTER, SHUT THE FUCK UP
James Sirius: a-and that’s *coughs for a second in slight shock while blushing slightly* Starfire
Kori: please, call me Kori
Alice “Ali” Longbottom: *laughing at the look on James Sirius’ Face*
James Sirius under his breath to Ali: Shut it! Do I need to remind you of the look on your face when we first met Dick?
Ali slowly quietly: *shutting up* …point taken
Steve/The Anti-Spectre : *appearing out of nowhere in a purple suit and tie with a light purple shirt underneath* GOOOOOOOOD EVENING EVERYBODY!!!
Iris: hey steve! Nice suit!
Jason: Okay, so many things don’t make sense here
Steve : I think I can explain, but first…*snaps his fingers as suddenly everyone who was coming to this other than the earth-xers and Deadpool are now suddenly in the room*
Percy Jackson: Hey guys!
Grover Underwood: So we’re just NOT going to question how we all just got summoned here when we were just at camp halfblood about to leave?
Cesar “Rudy” Reyes: Yeah, I was about to ask the same thing Señor patas de cabra (mr goat legs)
Nikki Black: considering Steve is here, I’m gonna go ahead and say no
Annabeth Chase casually: yeah, that would make a bit of sense
Jaime Reyes/Blue Beetle: yeah, fair enough
Sirius Black (62406): IS THAT LUKE SKYWALKER?!
Ben Skywalker: *turns so fast someone could get whiplash* What the FUCK?!?!
Charlotte: surprise! And if you wanna know why I brought them…*hops onto the bar counter and starts singing* His name is Solo…He is a pilot, With a blaster at his side, The biggest braggart far and wiiiide!
*han and luke groaning dryly with Leia just laughing softly*
Ben: oh yeah, the holo docudrama…
Christian dryly: can you get off of my bar counter?
Charlotte: oh, yeah, sorry *hops off*
Dr. Harrison “Harry” Wells: So hang on, Steve brought us here? Why?
Harrison Sherloque Wells: I mean the answer is obvious non? Simply to get us all here faster
HR cheerfully: Harry! Sherloque! I can’t believe they convinced you to do this Harry!
Jesse Wells/Jesse Quick: actually no, no he’s not doing this, thankfully for the sake of all of our ears, no, he’s not, he’s just here to cheer me on
Clint Barton/Hawkeye: so you got dragged here too?
Harry: yyyyep…Kate?
Kate Bishop/Hawkeye cheerfully: Yep!
Sherloque: yes, that all makes sense, but what I’m more interested in, is who these all are *gesturing to the batfam members other than dick* …if I had to guess, based on the color coordination, and their seemingly affinity for monsieur Grayson, these would have to be his adoptive siblings, and based on that and the fact one of them literally has a bat on their chest, that would make them other members of the Batfamily, with the one with the bat on his shirt being the Red Hood I’m guessing
Stephanie: …okay, how the fuck did you figure that out so fast??
Sherloque: where are my manners, Harrison Sherloque Wells, but please call me sherloque… miss…?
Stephanie: Brown, but call me steph
Angelina Weasley (62406): Okay, I get I’m kind of new to all this but what the bloody hell is going on??
Fred Weasley (111605) under his breath in slight shock: Angelina…
Fred Weasley (62406): yeah, sorry about the rushed introduction Angie
Steve : I promise, I’ll explain everything, once everyone’s here, we’re just waiting on the earth-xers and deadpool, then I can explain everything, both to the newbies and the veterans
Clint Barton; seriously? Why not just bring Deadpool here?
Steve : well Deadpool is explaining something to Oliver from what I can see, and the earth-xers are on their way
*pretty much the entire room is chattering just confused about everything until all of a sudden they hear the intro to thunderstruck as they then look to the stage of the club and see the Earth-X team walk out with a smokescreen going up before for a dramatic entrance*
Almost Everyone who’s not from earth-X knowing what this is: BOOOOOOOO
Lucifer Morningstar: *into a microphone* right, yes, thank you, thank you I–Adelynn? There you Are! Did you not get the memo I sent out about the dramatic entrance?!
Adelynn (X): NO?!
Morgan Stark/Iron Maiden: *sighs dryly* I did this for nothing
Ricky Rojas: still not entirely sure why you invited me to this, but I’m ready
Luis Ochoa (X): I’m in the same boat man–Hang on, IS THAT A DOPPELGANGER OF ME?!?!
Luis Ochoa (200000) cheerfully: Oh HEY ME!
Luis Ochoa (X) cheerfully: Hey Other me!
Aaron Tveit/Agent Thunderbird: *sighs and shakes his head* this is going to be chaos isn’t it
The Doctor/The Twelfth doctor (David Tennant in this universe): Oh, I have full confidence that it will be, yes
Evelyn Tveit/Agent Diamond: *snorts* there’s two Luises of course it is
Bart West-Allen/Impulse: plus, remember who’s in this group, this is majority of the multiverse gang, plus one more weasley, and Ricky,
Lucifer: right, if I could invite our Ho–Host, I’m sorry, where’s Wade, I would’ve thought he’d have been here by now
Steve : he’s having a chat with Oliver!
Lucifer: ... Steve ?!
Steve : I wanted to watch the show, I’ll explain when Wadesy gets here!
Lucifer; Okay? I guess, Dick could you come up here?
Dick: right…*figuring out how to make his way to the stage through the massive crowd of people then comes up with an idea and smirks*
Barbara: …dick, don’t tell me you’re going to—
Jason grinning: oh he’s definitely going to, Babs
Dick: *hops onto the bar counter then jumps high, pulls out his grappling gun and uses it to get to a light fixture, grabbing onto said light fixture and then swings to another one then flips onto the stage*
Cal Kestis: …I did NOT see that coming
Dominic “Dom” Toretto: I don’t think any of us did
Lucifer: right, while that was very impressive, for your sake, I hope that you didn’t just break my new light fixtures
Dick: sorry, Lucifer, I’m a former acrobat, remember?
Lucifer: *hands over a microphone* yes, well here you go Dick
Dick: now-I hope you know I know when people are calling me a dick vs just saying my name- moving on thank you all for coming here today! And Thanks to Lucifer for hosting us here in Lux today by the way
Lucifer: it was truly no problem, now to all of my fellow earth-xers if you could please get off the stage, because this is where the judges will be up at, and I’ll join you all once wade gets here
Nora West-Allen/XS: me and bart are on it
*Nora and Bart speed everyone off of the stage except for Lucifer and Dick*
Lucifer: alright, if everyone could please split off into their respective groups so we could check to be sure we have everyone here
Dick: with the exception of those from Earth-62406, Oliver will assign you to your groups once Deadpool gets here, but everyone who’s just watching and not participating, needs to go by the bar, that is our audience section, including the new force ghost Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, and Leia Organa
Lucifer: *chokes on air* I’m sorry, did you just say a force ghost of Han Solo is here?!?!
Steve : AGAIN, I’LL EXPLAIN EVERYTHING ONCE DEADPOOL GETS HERE
*just then a breach opens on-stage and deadpool walks through it in a red and black suit (not the deadpool suit, just a regular suit. No mask), toupee, with a baby landshark, and a small dog in a deadpool costume*
Deadpool/Wade Wilson: Hello everybody! I’ll take that, thanks for holding it for me Luci *snatches the microphone* IF I COULD HAVE YOUR ATTENTION I’D LIKE TO INTRODUCE YOU TO TWO VERY SPECIAL PEOPLE, SPECIAL GUEST JUDGES DOGPOOL AND JEFF THE LAND SHARK
Evelyn: you have a dog?! And a–What the hell is that?
Deadpool: what are you, deaf? I literally just said he’s a landshark
Hope van Dyne/Wasp: uhh, yeah, newsflash, that’s not a thing
Deadpool: it is very much a thing! As you can see, by evidence of Jeffrey the first of his name of the former Staten Island being here
Lucifer: okay, I’m just going to say it, what have you done to your dog because that creature looks absolutely horrid–
Deadpool*pulls out a gun and aims it at Lucifer* Insult Dogpool again, See what happens
Jeffrey the first of his name of the former Staten Island/Jeff the baby land Shark/Jeff: *just growling*
Deadpool: I’ve got this handled Jeff, but thanks for the backup
Dick: okay maybe we don’t need to–
Lucifer: we both know that won’t do–
Deadpool: *fires it as his leg*
Lucifer: see, I’m f–*feels a bit of pain* oh, okay, that actually hurts a bit *grabs the spot that was shot as he then falls to the ground* bloody HELL, Nora! Bart! I NEED ONE OF YOU TO PHASE THIS BULLET OUT OF MY LEG, NOW
Steve: I’m on it *snaps his fingers and suddenly the bullet is gone and has disappeared, lucifer is healed, and his suit is fixed*
Lucifer: thank you, Steve, and nice touch with the suit repair…but WHAT THE BLOODY HELL WADE?!
Deadpool darkly: I TOLD YOU, DO NOT Insult Dogpool
Evelyn; Okay, I’m sorry, this isn’t an insult, but did you really name your dog, DOGPOOL??
Deadpool: Well obviously that’s her Alias, she is my sidekick after all, her actual name is Mary Puppins
Evelyn: …okay, well that just gives me more questions
Lucifer: Well since I was just bloody shot, I think I should get my questions answered first, so, why the bloody hell did you even bring your dog and…land shark, to the riff off??
Deadpool: the pet daycare by my house is now closed indefinitely, and my buddy logan was out on some sort of weird trip with the X-Men, not talking about you Earth-Xers–
Lucifer; Yes Wade, I’m fully aware of Charles’ team, hell, one of their later additions is one of my greatest Generals aside from Charlie, Echo, and Morgan, and one of them is our only catholic priest as of recent, and another helps to run the grill, he’s one of the best cooks we have
Bobby thinking: ……and one of them is one of the greatest minds in the resistance…oh my god…
Fives; what’re you thinking Bobby?
Bobby: remind me, later, I need to go talk to Hank, Kurt, Jubilee, Kitty, and Roberto, and any other mutants in the Resistance
Echo: *snorts dryly* If you’re thinking what I think you’re thinking, good luck with Jubilee
Bobby: w-why’d you say it like that?
Echo: because I know exactly what you’re thinking, but in order to restart the X-Men, according to resistance protocol, only someone of General level ranking could create, or recreate in this case, a resistance sub-team, meaning she’d have to be your leader, and unfortunately, fed up by the death count by her about four to five years ago, she tried to lead a coup, it didn’t exactly go well, long story short, she hasn’t been fond of leading many teams since then, Lucifer forgave her, as did the rest of us, but she never really forgave herself
Bobby: Are you kidding? Are we talking about the same Jubilee? The one who as a teenager BEGGED to lead X-missions? And was Ecstatic the day she became a General
Echo: …I’m going to have to catch you up on this
Deadpool: Okay, who wants to see a trick!
Aaron: what the hell, sure…
Deadpool: So glad you volunteered! Alright Dogpool! *gestures a knife towards aaron and tosses the knife in the air* Fetch with pretty boy!
Dogpool: *barks happily as she then catches the knife by the handle and jumps off the stage as she then starts chasing aaron*
Aaron: SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT *running from Dogpool*
Deadpool: Thanks for helping me get her exercise in for the day!
Evelyn semicasually: …dogpool isn't going to actually hurt him, is she?
Deadpool innocently: maybe she is, maybe she’s not
Evelyn darkly now concerned: just answer. The damn. Question, WADE
Deadpool: Hey, it’s the truth! But if he did want to hurt him he could
Evelyn darkly: Wade. FUCKING. Wilson.
Deadpool: What! I needed to be sure she could protect herself if any scientist ever tried to get to him to experiment on him again! Besides, she's my sidekick! What was I supposed to do? Fight with a Dog that COULDN'T Potentially kill people?
Evelyn: WILL DOGPOOL STAB MY HUSBAND?
Deadpool: If I l call her off, no, if I don’t, I honestly don’t know
Victoire Lupin: *pulls out her wand to put up a shield charm aiming it right between Aaron and Dogpool*
Evelyn: WADE
Deadpool: I–just one second *whips out a wand and nonverbally disarms Victoire* DON'T YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT HURTING MY DOGPOOL FRENCHIE
Victoire dryly: I was just going to put up a shield charm
Deadpool: *sighs* alright, good…fine I’ll call her off, Dogpool! Come here girl! Come to papa!
*Dogpool then happily runs to deadpool and tosses the knife up in the air*
Deadpool: *catches it and puts it away* good job girl! Now who wants to see some pictures!
Evelyn: you know I didn’t peg you as a dog owner Deadpool, I’m a dog owner too, his name’s miles
Deadpool: yep, I am, and nice dog name! But Steve, if you could help me out here?
Dick: okay, maybe we should–
Steve now suddenly onstage with Dick, Deadpool, and Lucifer: trust me Dick, this is going to be interesting, and it’ll explain why they’re here! *snaps his fingers as suddenly they’re all engulfed in a sort of darkness and they all see an image, as if they’re in the image, the first of dogpool running in a field*
Deadpool: Thanks steve!, Now this is Dogpool running in a field *the image changes to a picture of Dogpool and Jeff wrestling* This is a picture of my two favorite people wrestling
Duke: okay, is this freaking anyone else out?!?!
Deadpool; Shut the fuck up random new guy, don’t wor–ohhhh, wait, you’re the one who can see light, okay, that make sense why you’re obviously getting a headache
Steve : oh shit, that makes sense, let me just *waves his hand* that better?
Duke: it is-thanks–How did you–
Steve : i just used my powers change the frequency of the light of the images so it wouldn’t fuck with your powers, it’s honestly SUPER easy
Lucifer; hang on, Dick, is this one of the adoptive siblings you mentioned you were bringing?
Dick: yep!
Tim: and you’re supposed to be the devil? I call bullshit
Steve : Okay, i can explain everything to everyone, if everyone would SHUT UP, and let us get to this final image
*just then the the image around them switches so they see Deadpool, Dogpool, and Jeff slowly walking away from a burning building for some reason*
Deadpool: oh hey! This was today when the three of us burned down the pet daycare center!
Everyone there other than Deadpool and Steve : WHAT?!?!
Deadpool: Relax, no animals were harmed, and most of the people probably weren’t…let this be a lesson to you all, don’t yell or insult, or worst of all call her– *picks up dogpool and covers her ears* A “bad girl” *puts her down* …well depending on context, like just don’t use it in a derogatory way and we’re fine, that what Janet at the pet daycare center did, WHOS LAUGHING NOW JANET
Evelyn: …You’re actually insane you know that?
Deadpool: Sticks and stones “Blunt Gem,” they had it coming
Steve : *snaps his fingers and everything is back to normal* alright, now to explain everything, now in honor of this glorious battle of music that is about to commence–Wait, not everyone’s here yet…Lucifer…
Lucifer: *sighs* fine, I’ll call them down, you couldn’t let me have my dramatic moment? *put his hands together as if he’s praying*
*just then amenadiel appears in a flash of white light*
Amenadiel/God: hello everyone
Teddy Lupin: are you kidding me? YOU HAVE GOD ON YOUR SIDE
Lucifer: yes, an–Wait a moment Amenadiel, where’s Sara?
Amenadiel slowly awkwardly: …Sara, wouldn’t come…unfortunately…*whispering to to Lucifer* …she’s one of the angels who’s siding with well…michael…
Lucifer; *sighing slightly putting on a fake smile* I see…well It’s fine, we don’t need her!
Amenadiel: Luci…
Lucifer quietly to amenadiel: drop it brother, we’ll talk about this later
Azalea black dryly: yeah, no offense Lucifer, but that’s kind of bullshit, how the fuck are you allowed to get 3 broadway actors and GOD on your side
Aurora Malfoy-Black hopefully: don’t worry guys! We’ll be fine!
Sirius (62406) dryly: said the lead singer of a band!
Sirius (111605): …you do remember that you ALSO have the voice of a lead singer of a band, thanks to Oliver, right?
Remus Lupin (6246) dryly: Nikki, I can’t believe you dragged us into this bullshit
Nymphadora “Tonks” Lupin(6246): I mean…are we really surprised though?
*nikki with a look of innocence*
Sirius Black (6246): yeahhhhh, I wouldn’t be either if I were you
Steve : alright, time to explain things to everyone, now I understand there is a lot to explain…*out of nowhere pulls out a cane with a purple glowing orb on top and a purple top hat and pulls out a cane and the points the cane at the holoprojector as a small spark of “purple lightning” shoots out of of it, activating it causing for Oliver to see all of this*
Oliver: what the hell is–STEVE?!?!
Steve : Hello, Ollie, I was just about to explain everything that’s going on
Tim: okay, where the HELL did the hat and cane come from?!?!
Steve : you see *throws his hat in tim’s direction like a frisbee as it then lands directly on tim’s head and he’s now suddenly standing next to tim* to you I quote the great willy wonka when I say, quiet up, and listen down, wait no, scratch that *takes the hat off of tim’s head then flips it back onto his* reverse it, because now it’s time for the pre-riff off explanation to begin
*suddenly they all see the room go dark as steve is then back on the stage, by himself, with a spot light on him and they all hear a sort of waltz playing*
Steve : It’s. been. A. long, long, long time, for both the mortals and divine, with that I say it’s time someone expline-ed, although this is normally, this Deadpool’s territory, I think this time it’s time I took over, for the sake of all of weeeee… *as steve gestures outwards the background music then changes from a waltz to a faster, jauntier tune as steve then disappears as the spotlight moves to another spot over by Oliver, where steve* … weeeeeelll, a long, long, long time ago, before we all had met, there were two heroes, one who’d run fast as light, one with the strongest will of mind, then together, combined, with their friends theyyyyyy–*just then the music goes silent * Failed… *the most innocent look to Oliver as he manages to poke him with the cane*
Cisco quietly to Barry: well that went in a direction I didn’t see coming
Barry slowly quietly awkwardly: it’ll probably get better?
Kara quietly: okay was that really necessary?
Sara quietly: yeah, and it’s not like we didn’t bring BACK the multiverse
E*velyn trying NOT to laugh at the blase "failed"*
Oliver: okay, Really?!
Steve : The multiverse died, thanks to the failing of the heroes, but for us we hadn’t lost hope, because there were still the eight who remained…*the music returns as he then starts to dance through the crowd* they brought back the new multiverse! The one of which we live! The one of which I sing this song about, not the one of which is dead, and when the heroes rejoined they kicked kicked the anti-monitor’s ass, and yes I know this song has a lot of swears, so fuck you if you think it is crass! *he then jumps onto the bar and starts dancing across the bar* …A couple of years later a new threat arose, the Reverse-Flash, this guy, he sucked ass, and was kind of a pose-er, he claimed to be the fastest man alive, but really that’s our guy B.A. *loudly out of the corner of his mouth* …Or at least this time, Ollie and Wadesy were both sent to Earth-prime to off either ET or stop BA from creating a new timeline, he succeeded in the latter, but unfortunately thawne he couldn’t stop, so thawne he then got away forcing Jim to make Ollie, much to his dismay, to form a team to which he could give props…first coming from earth-89 we had the dark knight, after that 199999 to get another archer to help in the coming fight, up next we got a couple from Earth 200k, Star-Lord, Ant-Man and Spider-Man, Peter-Parker more specifically, yes this is petey and scott from what if, if you know what I mean! *then disappears and reappears next to Iris* then they went to earth-62406, what might’ve been a kidnapping that part was unclear, up to get Iris wood, one of our favorite traveleers,
Deadpool chiming in: It Was! …And what the fuck is a traveleer?!
Steve : Shut up wade, I needed a rhyme and before you ask if I’m running low on time, no I’m not, I’ll do what I want, so fuck you if you think this is crass! Then onto the next universe, the one where it all began! *pops over between aurora and adelynn* these two and their respective jedi and wizard clans, then finally to earth-x for some unexpected recruits, Miles Morales, Bart and Nora West-Allen, and Cal Kestis to boot! Next on the list we got the strong prowler, then we had Echo and Nev three fearless leaders, not to forget the fourth of which was met, the funloving trickster, James Jesse, oh he loved his pranks of which he loved to play, which led to some fun later with the pranksters, and then a fight leading to a couple of new addition to the team…Lenny Snart, one of the best thiefs here, captain cold, though he may be getting old, he has proven he can still be one to be feared
Snart dryly: I’m not Old!
Deadpool chiming in: you’re over fifty, frostbite! By human standards you’re getting old!
Steve : Next we also met Loki, the norse god of mischief and deceit, surely this was going to be a team that surely not could be beat! But for extra measure we added on three more, Tonks, and the twins prewett! *appearing next to Lucifer* And of course silly me, how could I forget, how the devil himself, *taps Lucifer’s back with his cane forcing his wings out* Lucifer, Morningstar, the man, the myth, the literal legend, together they formed, to stop thawne’s plan to bring back the anti-monitor…
Lucifer: what the bloody hell?!?!
Steve : and then finally they realized that thawne was working with the nazis all along, to which they brought the backup of asgard to fight the battle of which to come… But I’m getting ahead of myself, let me go back a bit… first there was team distraction led by Aurora, and the morningstar, they rocked out all night while the rest went on to storm the fight, in the emerald tower we learned about the power thawne had gained, the trust of the nazis he thought would surely guarantee his win, after that they made it out back to the og ruby hall, they made it out, and then came the true multiversal brawl, Thawne succeeded in his plan to bring back the anti-monitor, which our plans it might’ve caused a little falter, in addition to this thawne had decided to make his own team, lucius malfoy, darth sidious, and even Quill’s evil daddy. After a bit of fighting, barry had an idea, to go back to prime, and get the guy who helped bring down the anti-monitor the first time, and it was then Iris got her own agenda, to get Oliver to take her to go get draco malfoy of her own earth, to help to deal with lucius, and all of his annoyingness! After that Ollie, Barry, Iris, and Scott, they all took another trip to earth-prime, to get a really smart and cheerful guy! Doc Palmer, who had luckily secretly been toiling, to create a couple of weapons in case if the anti-monitor was resurrecting! So there we needed two archers and two gun marksmen, we already had one, so we needed one more before we could truly win! Next we went to get malfoy, the middle aged one and get his help for the win, then we took it to cowboy times to get our second marksmen! Unfortunately when they returned it was partially too late, someone had just sacrificed their lives, may the trickster rest in peace *uses his powers to project an image of the Trickster as it then disappears into purple anti-particles* After they fired just about everything they had, they managed to take him and Thawne down, thanks to the flaming sword of eden, we’ll never see those losers again… or at least that version of thawne… after that things were mostly chill, but unfortunately to do some timeskip shit that ollie had to do, the dark knight had died, and the winged-night Oliver had now met! After that there was a party to celebrate the defeat of thawne and vader, but then Luci’s brother crashed it and announced the nazi reform since he’s Luci’s biggest hater! Then some other things happened that I guess were kind of important? Iris introduced Aurora and her marauders to the marauders of her earth, we had a couple of deadfiles, and met an Ice queen and a cajun, Then finally after a while Aurora and Azalea, they took their siriuses and decided to meet a third and his partner, and now the SIRIUS TRINITY HAS MET, about a week after Michael did something truly cruel, he kidnapped children just to lure out the members of the multiversal crew! But little did he know the new band of multiversal allies had increased, but it didn’t matter, because Reverb, ciscos doppelganger sent everyone away…orrrr heeee, would had AmenaD not saved a couple special few, Luci, Ollie, Iris, Dick, Constantine! Morgan, Wade, and Aurora were the seven saved…with some help from Jax and Stein in other universes we’d find, the rest of the multiverse team which was really quite sublime, through that whole mess we got couple more new additions, like a couple more jedi, and a couple of car guys, the return of clint after another timeskip, then after that they began to enact their plan, the plan to take down michael for good and take out any power he may have had, unfortunately that plan didn’t pan out well at first, they got the pieces that were needed, but at a costly price, Aidan fell, he went to hell, and another thawne ended Poe’s life, but after a little bit more chaos they were both successfully brought back, and in the process we got the parts, and some more friend onto tack, A couple of demigods, the beetle of blue and the ! There’s really not much left to say, we had another rock show oh shit- wait nevermind while all this was going on, Scott, and hope were saving C L-aing! Then after that the kids were saved and there was ANOTHER FIGHT, after that things were chill, once again, but now it’s time to backtrack a bit to where it all began, to explain the story of which is me, sit tight and now buckle in! After the multiverse was brought back for the first time, some guy offered me some crazy powers, i said sure, lost my memerors and now I’m the anti-spectre! After a couple meetings with the council, and some loopholes It is which I learned, I was right, I don’t need to be evil I just need to have chaotic fun! So I pull some pranks, make some calls to the writer, and go where I want, Which is how we all met! Now to finally explain what the hell is going on, we’re here for the fucking riff off, you all will sing your best! *gesturing to charlotte and the new force ghosts* Charlotte asked Ollie if she could bring the ghosts of her uncle and her parents, because of a fic with a holo docudrama, and Luke looks like the trickster because of doppeldoubles! *appears by the batfamily and starts gesturing to each one of them with his cane*And Finally, Dick brought his bat family, Red hood and the oracle, Jason Todd and Barbara Gordon! Then there’s Red Robin, and the spoiler tim drake and Steph Brown, Orphan, Cassandra Cain, Robin, Damian wayne, Duke Thomas, Signal! Then finally, not to forget the princess who sets hearts on fire, there’s Dick’s Fiancee, Koriand’r, Starfire! And this has been the multiversal recap of thing since things kind of went fucking wroooong… *all of a sudden the spotlight moves as he’s back on stage and the stage lights up in a purple light as he then starts doing a kickline with what appears to be more Steves appear out of thin air* … and, YES, I KNOW THIS SONG HAS SWEARS SO FUCK! YOU! IF! YOU! THINK! THIS! IS! CRAAAAAAAASSS!! *as steve then throws his hat into the air the music ends as the lights go back to normal and there is once again only one Steve and the room goes silent*
Barry: …okay, as fun as that was…Now even I have questions?
Oliver: so do I–
*just then they hear the sound of someone cheering as they look to the bar and see a woman standing up in a yellow robe and cloak, with dark brown short hair and tanned skin and hazel eyes as they as they hear her cheering*
Steve : *suddenly lighting up seeing the woman* Becca?! *disappears and reappears next to her and hugs her* How’ve you been! It’s been a minute, how’s it been!
Becca? teasingly: *snorting softly* a Minute? You mean since your prank on kashyyyk-999 where you introduced a bunch of wookies on kashyyyk to dungbombs?
Steve : *snorts loudly and sighs* that was definitely an interesting day, those Trandoshans didn’t know what hit ‘em!
Becca? dryly: and interesting for me to have to clean up
Steve : yeah, sorry again about that, and based on the fact you’re in the robe that means you weren’t here just to watch the show
Becca?: both yes, and No, yes, because I needed to let you know that I need to have a chat with you about the prank you just pulled in Latveria-2005, it was one I unfortunately clean up due to the severity of its repercussions–
Steve telepathically to Becca?: are they watching?
Becca? Telepathically: yep, they’ll probably check out in about 10 seconds so it’s time for the sell
Becca?: Steve, I swear to fucking GOD, if you EVER pull a stunt like this again, I WILL alert The council and they will have NO mercy on you
Steve weakly: *nods and takes a breath and puts on a face of regret* I’m SO sorry, I promise that I won’t even THINK about doing this again
Becca?; aaaaand, we’re clear
Steve : Whoo! Nice acting job becca! I almost believed you were pissed at me!
Becca?: thank you, thank you, but in all seriousness–
Oliver: I’m sorry, for jumping in, but who are you and what the hell is this “council”, I keep hearing about today
Rebecca Russel: shit, sorry, we haven’t met yet, the name’s Rebecca, Rebecca Russel, and don’t worry, the writer will explain some more of this in future stories, but all you need to know for now is basically, I’m a third spectre, an in-between between you and Stevie here, I deal with all of the smaller scale multiversal messes that don’t get sent to your spectral radar, I go by miss Multiverse, I used to have another legacy spectre name, but I ABSOLUTELY HATED it, so I had it changed
Cisco: yeah, you know there’s not really much you can go from Spectre and Anti-Spectre, and even anti-spectre isn’t THAT great, so I don’t doubt you…also Miss Multiverse does have a nice ring to to it, and points for alliteration…I give it a B
Rebbecca: thanks!
Iris innocently: So Becca, how long have you known Steve for?
Rebecca: *just then her hair glows yellow for a moment* oh, sorry, it’s Rebecca, if you don’t mind, or becky if you prefer, but I’ve known Steve…since we both got the jobs? From what the council told me we both got them at the same time, and to answer your question Oliver, trust me, the less you know about the cosmic council the better, and to answer any future questions that I can see coming, yes Oliver, there’s a third one of us, and she is me, Hi, but don’t worry, we’re the only three spectral beings, spectre, anti, and median, and as for how memories go, while I remember hell of a lot more than Steve about my old life before becoming Miss Multiverse, but I don’t remember NEARLY as much as you do, *innocently* but then again, you were a lot older than we were before becoming the spectre old man Ollie
Oliver; OLD MAN OLLIE?!?!
*half of the room laughing at his frustration*
Rebecca: and to answer how old I was when I stopped aging, I was 23, and for now that’s about all you’re getting, so Steve, I’m here for two reasons, one, to watch that awesome recap song, which by the way Stevie, absolutely amazing, especially loved that finale, which reminds me *summons steve’s purple top hat that was still flying in the air* you’re probably going to want this back
Steve : thanks! I almost forgot to call that back…*takes the hat then thinks for a second and smirks* …however…*knocks off her yellow hood and flips the hat on her* …I think it looks better on you, besides, I can make more *shows her a mirror*
Rebecca: t-thanks! And you’re right, this does look good, you know yellow’s supposed to be my color, but I gotta say, I do make this purple hat work…Thanks Steve!
Steve : it’s no problem Becca!
Rebecca: but like I was saying before, yes, I absolutely LOVED your recap number, but I also came here to let you know that we do need to actually have a discussion about your prank on earth-2005, on dr doom in latveria, don’t get me wrong, I thought it was pretty funny, turning a bunch of doctor doom’s doombots into rabbits *snorting just thinking about it* but you know if we don’t do this, and fill out the paperwork the Council is going to be ALL over my ass, ad I really don’t want to–
Steve : *eyes widening* the paperwork…FUCK
Rebecca:*realizes* oh no, don’t tell me–*sighs dryly* How much are you behind on that you haven’t filled me in on?
Steve : …775?
Rebecca: SEVEN HUNDRED AND SEVENTY FIVE PRANKS, for fucks sake STEVE!!
Steve : I’VE BEEN BUSY, OKAY?!
Rebecca; *sighs* alright, I’ll tell you what, come by after you’re done with this riff off thing, and I’ll help you out and you and I can knock this out in like an hour,
Steve : Oh my god, Becca you’d do that for me?!
Rebecca; of course!
Steve : Alright, so are we meeting in the multiversal office or the Cosmic Condo? Or are we meeting in one of my pocket dimensions like the Multiversal Theatre, or my apartment dimension?
Rebecca: the Cosmic Condo should be fine
Steve : great, I’ll go there right after they’re done with the riff off
Rebecca: Now, I’m gonna go, it was nice meeting you all! You’ll probably see me again in the future! *disappears into yellow particles*
Evelyn innocently: sooo…Stevie? How long have you and Rebecca been a thing
Steve : *chokes on air* I’m sorry, what?
Victoire fake shuddering: oh merlin it’s Iris and Aidan again
Cisco fake shuddering: or worse, Barry and Iris
Iris, Aidan, and Barry: Hey!
Steve : Okay, just to clarify, me and Becca are JUST BEST FRIENDS, besides, even if I WERE interested in here WHICH I’M NOT SAYING I AM, She’s DEFINITELY not interested in me
Half of the room: BULLSHIT!!
Stephanie: That girl is so in love with you, Even DAMIAN picked up on it, and he’s emotionally blind half the time!
Damian: HEY!!!
Cassie: AND SAME GOES FOR YOU LIKING HER!
Iris counting off her fingers: you have a nickname that only she calls you by…
Evelyn also counting off her fingers: …you have a nickname for HER that she doesn’t let anyone else use…
Cassandra: she has a nickname for you that no one else really calls you…
Adelynn: …she liked wearing a piece of your clothes–
Steve : I’m sorry, she liked it because it looked good on her, not because it was mine!
Aurora sarcastically: suuuuuure it was…
Frost: there’s the fact you just lit up like a goddamn firework when she showed up
Annabeth: going back to the hat thing, she stuttered on her words for a second when you gave her the hat
Louis: you’re right, she did!
Freddie: bloody hell, she just invited you back to her CONDO
Steve : FOR WORK!!
Harry Potter (62406): out of curiosity, why is it you need to file paperwork for pranks anyway?
Steve : Long story, that I’ll explain another time, hell we’ve already spent over forty google doc pages before even actually starting, Wadesy, Dick, Ollie, why don't you get things started!
Evelyn: no, no, NO, you’re not getting out of this that easy, you need to ask that girl out
Steve : …you all really think she likes me like that?
Everyone other than Oliver: YES!!!
Steve : Ollie?
Oliver: okay, I’m going to say this one more time, You really need to stop calling me Ollie, but…*sighs dryly* there is definitely...something… between the two of you
Steve : okay, can you guys just do your thing and get started already!
Oliver: yes! *the hologram then appears on stage*
*both deadpool and dick jump back on stage*
Deadpool: Alright, Jeff, Dogpool, be good until we’re done here, okay?
Oliver: Alright, now to announce the teams
Dick: alright, now representing earth-prime, We have Barry Allen, Cisco Ramon, Caitlin Snow, Sara Lance, Harrison “HR” Wells, Ray Palmer, Kara Zor-El, and Winslow Schott Jr!
Winn: okay, could we maybe NOT use my full name, it’s just Winn, please
Dick: sorry, my bad
Susan: I’m sorry, did you say WINSLOW SCHOTT?!?!
Winn: JUNIOR!! Okay, I heard about my dad’s doppelganger, I’m nothing like him–except I use his moniker, But I use it for good!
Susan: oh…
Ray: *hugging sara* I meant to do this earlier, It’s great to see you again!
Sara: You too Ray, how’s dad life treating you?
Ray: It’s going great! Little Marty’s amazing
Iris: hang on, Ray, you have a son?!
Ray: yep! Did I never mention that? He’s about 2 years old
Kara confused: okay, I’m sorry, before we continue, I have questions, Dick, you said you’re engaged to her, right?
Barry: okay, to explain quickly, Dick, in our universe you and Kara are in a committed relationship
Half of the batfamily; HUH?!
*jason, tim, and Stephanie just laughing at the confused look on dick’s face*
Dick confused: that’s weird…on my earth, we did go out, but it was only on one date that went TERRIBLY
Kara: really? Our first date went great, considering that we’ve been dating for almost a year
Dick: I see…
Deadpool: maybe, we should move the fuck on, next up we have the smallest group of the bunch, representing universe 364, we have Char Char, Shooty–
Dick: Wade.
Deadpool: fiiiiiine…Charlotte and Poe Damerons, Finn and Rey
Oliver: and representing several universes from Earth-6246, we have, Nikki and Sirius Black, and Remus Lupin and Nymphadora “Tonks” Lupin!
Remus (6246): now I see why you had me and Tonks tutor you in muggle music for the last month
Nikki: yep
Oliver: and also on this team, from earth-4321, we have Jaime and Cesar “Rudy” Reyes!
Rudy: Let’s do this Cabezon!
Jaime; *snorts* well this should be fun
Oliver: and last but not least, Representing earth-2, we have Jesse Wells!
Jesse Wells: wow, there are a LOT of people we’re going against
Sirius (6246): don’t worry about it, we’ll be fiiiine!
Dick: now starting of with our Earth-62406 teams, because as you all know we had to separate them due to the amount of people there were from those earths, now starting off we have team-1, Iris Wood, Louis Weasley, Ali Longbottom, Ronnie Raymond, Aidan Wood, Holly Weasley, dominique weasley, James Sirius Potter, Leo Weasley, and Sirius Black!
Leo, Iris, Ali, and James Sirius: YES
Deadpool: Team 2 from earth Rulebreaker! Son of Moony, Son of “ My Father Will hear about this –”
Oliver: WADE
Deadpool; ugh, FINE, Teddy Lupin, Scorpius Malfoy, Nymphadora “Tonks” Lupin, Albus Potter, Harry Potter, Rosie Black, Remus Lupin, Lily Luna Potter, Caitlin Snow, and Azalea Black
Teddy under his breath: okay, not a bad lineup…
Oliver: and Finally for team-3 of Earth-62406, James Potter, Gwen Weasley, Freddie Weasley, Fred and George Weasley, Frost, Angelina Weasley, Ginny Potter, Lily Potter, and Victoire Lupin
Gwen slowly under her breath: …I do not like these odds
Dick: and for our next and last mixed universe group, representing Earth-161015, our resident demigods and satyr, Percy Jackson, Annabeth Chase, and Grover Underwood!
Percy: …you know who I just realized we should’ve asked? Piper and Hazel
Annabeth dryly: And you’re only just NOW thinking about this seaweed brain?!
Grover; yeah, that probably would’ve been a good play
Dick: and also on this mixed earth group repping earth 199999, we have Kate Bishop!
Kate: Don’t worry you guys, we’ll be fine!
Dick: and finally, capping off this team, repping earth 221, we have Harrison Sherlock Wells!
Sherloque: eh, Pardon me monsieur Grayson, it is Sherloque, not Sherlock, remember? It’s french.
Dick: sorry about that Sherloque
Deadpool: oh Fuck yeah, I get to do Earth-111605! From this Earth we have Aurora Malfoy-Black, Sirius Malfoy-Black, Lily and James Potter, Remus Lupin, Fred Weasley, George and Allana Weasley, and Remy “THE RAGIN CAJUN” LeBeau!
Oliver: and next from Coruscant-111606, we have Adelynn Skywalker-Kenobi and Obi-Wan Kenobi, Anakin Skywalker and Padme Amidala-Skywalker, Commanders Rex and Cody Skywalker, Ben Skywalker, as well as Ahsoka Tano
Dick: Then from Earth-200k Peter Parker, Scott Lang, Hope van Dyne, Cassie Lang, Peter Quill, and Luis Ochoa!
Luis (X) and Luis (200000) jokingly; Which one?!
Luis (X): I have a feeling I’m going to like you Luis
Luis (200k): right back at you, Luis!
Lily (62406) dryly: it’s the three Siriuses all over again
Oliver: and now for Earth-611381225, we have Dominic Toretto, Letty Ortiz, Brian O’Connor, Mia Toretto, Roman Pearce, Tej Parker, Ramsey, Han Seoul-Oh, Luke Hobbs, and Gisele Yashar
Deadpool: and moving on, Last, and considering these guys are probably going to win based on their lineup, DEFINITELY not least…seriously, I bet the paycheck I got on my last job on this…Earth-X We have, Goatlegs, the son and daughter of speedy, blunt gem, mr vision quest, the bohemian boys, Stark, Loki, the Story Guy, Barty Crouch Jr from Harry potter, and LITERAL GOD
Oliver and Dick dryly: WADE
Deadpool: OH CMON, FINE!! Lucifer Morningstar, Nora and Bart West-Allen, Evelyn and Aaron Tveit, Cal Kestis, Morgan Stark, Ricky Rojas, Luis Ochoa, Loki Laufeyson, The Doctor, and–okay the last one was just accurate but fine, Amenadiel if we want to use his actual name
Evelyn: okay, back up, did you three make bets on us?!?!
Dick and Oliver: No
Deadpool at the same time: Yes
Jason dryly: Dick, you fucking liar
Barry: out of curiosity, what were the bets?
Deadpool: I bet on Earth-X winning and everyone else losing considering I knew they had three broadway actors, speedy’s kids, stark, david tennant, A former angel
Amenadiel: Lucifer is still an angel technically, but go on
Deadpool: AND LITERAL GOD!! They’re a shoe in, but Dollar Store Hawkeye bet on it being a tie between Prime, and X, and the original Boy in green booty-shorts–
*all of the batfamily members other than Dick and Kori just start dying in laughter*
Dick: *sighing dryly while blushing slightly* it’s not funny!
Kori: *giggling to herself* considering I’ve seen pictures of your original costume, I have to say, it definitely is at least a little bit
Deadpool: as I was saying, the OG boy in green booty-shorts had bet a weird four way tie between, Prime, Earth-111605, the first 62406 group, Iris’ group, and X
Iris dryly: so he’s just throwing away money then?
Quill: beat me to the punch—how rich ARE you anyway?!?!
Tim: considering I handle the Wayne family finances and Bruce was loaded before he went, and I split any profits from wayne industries with the rest of the batfamily, with Damian’s obviously being in trust, that would be a question for me, and the answer is, richer than most could comprehend
Peter: are we talking more or less than mr stark?
Oliver; …equal, actually
All of the Batfamily members, Peter, Ned, MJ, Scott, Clint: WHAT?!
Barry: is that equal, or less than you had before you were the spectre
Oliver: it was about the same
Cisco: WOW, that was a lot of money…
Sara: yeah, I knew Bruce was rich, but DAMN, as rich as you?
George (111605): hold on, you were bloody RICH in your old life?!?!
Oliver: yes, I was, not that its important, I was my father was the founder of a major company, known as Queen Consolidated, which eventually I took over after my mother and father were both dead, then after eventually selling the company to Ray, I’d end up becoming Mayor of Star City
James Sirius: …I’m sorry that this is the scale guys, but I’m genuinely curious, but on a scale of Grandma and Grandpa Weasley before the war and The Malfoys that’d be a…?
Ginny and Harry(62406): JAMES SIRIUS POTTER!!
James Sirius: I’m SORRY, but those were the first two examples of rich and poor that came to my head! I would’ve used something else but it was all I could think of! You KNOW normally I wouldn’t have EVER said anything like that!
Iris dryly: Jamie you IDIOT
Ray: to answer the question, the answer is, Higher than the malfoys, *innocently* even though he didn’t act like it always
All of the Wizards in the room: HOLY SHIT!!!
Oliver; CAN WE MOVE ON FROM THIS!!
Scott: so you were RICH RICH
Dick: Oliver’s right, now everyone, please separate into your respective groups and we can get started, and all audience members need to go back to the bar
Deadpool: except for guest judges Dogpool and Jeff, you could come back up now!
Dogpool: *cheerfully jumps on stage*
Jeff: *runs around the stage and up the stairs and jumps up into deadpool’s arms*
*the groups all form and separate from one another
Deadpool: *smiling* OOF–Hey there buddy! Alright…*puts him back down* …there you go, now, I’ll play with both of you later, but for now your papa has to do something…
Sirius (111605): can we go back a second, how the hell did your dog jump that high??
Deadpool: oh, she has superpowers, but that’s for another time, now to explain the rules of the riff off!
Dick: alright, so our rules are a little different, so for our rules, you all get a minute to discuss what song you what you want, before we actually start the round, the round will be started by the one of the three of us starting a song, and one of you has to cut in with in, and then someone else has to eventually cut into your song, and if the cut in isn’t done in a way that keeps the rhythm flowing, you’re out, and if you stop singing before someone else cuts in, you’re out, with a couple of special rules that’ll be announced when they come into play, and each song has to match up with the category we announce
Dick: each one of us were tasked with coming up with a couple of categories for this that we have a feeling you’ll enjoy
Deadpool: either that or some that we just put on that WE’LL ENJOY
Morgan dryly under her breath: oh this isn’t going to end well
Oliver: and it was decided that depending on the style of your performance, it is possible to earn extra points with us that can persuade us in the event of us making it through all of the categories and more than one team is still remaining, however style points can only be earned by 3 teams at most, oh, and this wasn’t mentioned, but after the event of everyone going in a round, everyone would keep going with no extra prep time, whoever cut in first would need to cut in after whoever did last and we’d keep going in order from there until either someone slips up or we decide to move on, and considering how many categories we have, it’ll probably be us deciding to move on until the last couple rounds if it comes to that and if someone does a song in a round, that takes is off the board completely, until at least two rounds after
Dick: oh, and one additional rule now does everyone understand the rules?
Everyone participating: Yes
Remus (6246): hold on a moment, before we get started there’s something I need to do! *walks over and meets Remus (62406) and (111605)* …so you’re the other mes?
Both Remuses: yep
Remus (6246): You two got dragged here too?
Remus (62406): yep
Remus (6246): So a dead me, and an older me…you know I heard there’s a fourth one of us on this earth?
Remu (111605): there is, yep
Remus (6246): …you know we’re never going to hear the end of this from the siriuses, right?
Remus (111605): When do we ever?
*all three of them sigh dryly as they then return to their groups*
Dick: Alright then? Any questions?
Evelyn: yeah, just one…Wade…what the fuck’s with the toupee?? *snorting loudly*
Deadpool: Hey, don’t blame me for wanting to look nice for the riff off!
Dick: alright, are there any questions about the riff off…* *sighing knowing what deadpool’s first category is* Wade? If you could?
Deadpool: with pleasure! Hope none of you are wearing white because for this round, we’re about to get it on, because it’s songs about SEX
Evelyn: *fake gags* Okay, I’m fine with the topic, but why did you have to phrase it like THAT
Commander Rex Skywalker dryly: out of curiosity, why are we doing this again?
Adelynn (111605) innocently: …because it’ll be fun?
Commander Cody Skywalker dryly: and because you didn’t give us a choice
Adelynn (111605) innocently: yep!
Dick: alright, your sixty seconds starts now!
*after the minute is up*
Deadpool: alright, now to get things started…Dick, Dollar Store hawkeye, if you could?
Oliver and Dick: *sighs dryly as they start using their voices to sing the tune to “ You shook me all night long ” by AC/DC*
Deadpool: She was a fast machine, she kept her motor clean ,She was the best damn woman that I–
Luis (200k) cutting in: I LIKE BIG BUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE–
*just then the rest of the group from earth-200k starts singing the tune to “ Baby got back ” by Sir mix-a-lot*
Luis(200k): … you other brothers can’t deny, when a girl walks in with an itty-bitty waist and round thing in your face, you get SPRUNG, Wanna pull up tough 'cause you notice that butt was stuffed, Deep in the jeans she's wearin', I'm hooked and I can't stop starin', Oh, baby, I wanna get with ya–
Freddie cutting in: Yeah, birds need bees and Ice needs whiskey…
*The rest of team 3 from Earth-62406 starts imitating the tune to Knockin’ boots by Luke Bryan*
Freddie: …Boys like me need the girls like you to kiss me, Fishing in the dark needs Nitty Gritty, Under that pale moon, Sweet tea needs that sugar stirring, Small town nights need both ends burning, Shades need drawing, hearts need falling, Boots need knockin', knockin’ boots…girl me and you–
Sirius (111605) cutting in: be your valentino just for you!
*just then the group from Earth-111605 starts imitating the tune to “ Good Old-fashioned lover boy ” by Queen*
Sirius (111605): Ooh, love, ooh, loverboy, What're you doin' tonight? Hey, boy Write my letter, Feel much better, And use my fancy patter on the telephone…When I'm not with you, Think of you always, I miss those long hot summer nights, When I'm not with you, Think of me always, Love you–
Ben Skywalker cutting in: *singing REALLY well* I never, never knew how complete love could be,
*the others from Coruscant-111605 start imitating the tune of “ go all the way ” by the Raspberries* Till she kissed me and said, Baby, please, go all the way, It feels so right
Adelynn and Ahsoka Tano: feels so right!
Ben: Being with you here tonight, Please, go all the way, Just hold me close
Adelynn: Hold me close!
Ben: Don’t ever hold me Close! …I–
Charlotte cutting in: I’ll Tell you what I want what I really really– WAIT WHAT THE FUCK?!?!
Ben slowly confused: …is something wrong?
Charlotte: SINCE WHEN THE FUCK CAN YOU SING?!?!
Holly: *silently goes over and pokes rosie*
Rosie: *in slight shock blushing slightly at the singing but then reacts to the poking* …what’re you doing hols?
Holly: So he can sing?
Rosie: apparently, but why are you poking me??
Holly: because you looked like you were fucking frozen that's why...also, do you think he sings decently when plastered?
George (62406) groaning: Not this again…
Rosie: …I don’t know
Holly: we might have to test it…hey Charlotte can he sing drunk?!
Charlotte: I DIDN’T KNOW HE COULD SING PERIOD!! LAST TIME I SAW HIM SING HE SOUNDED LIKE PORGS BEING STRANGLED TO DEATH!!
Remus (62406): …and porgs are?
Cisco: the little things that look like a cross between a bird and a hamster that were all over the island luke exiled himself on
Remus (62406): got it
Dominique: MIDLIFE CRISIS!!!
*leia laughing at the look on luke’s face*
Rey: …that sounds oddly accurate…
Deadpool: hey, sorry to interrupt would-be skywalker, but you, shooty, the ex-stormtrooper, and dameron are all out
Charlotte; HIJO LA CHINGADO!! (Son of a bitch)
Jaime: hold on, since when do you know spanish??
Sirius (111605): Yeah, at the dnd session you said you didn’t know spanish…based on that I’m almost one hundred percent sure you know spanish
Charlotte: Spanish? That’s not Spanish, that’s Corellian! And i know because of my dad
Cisco: …so Corellian is semi-similar to Spanish then, huh…
Oliver: that’s correct
Charlotte dryly: you couldn’t have said that during dnd last night when I was confused about what the fuck Spanish was?
Sara: *snorting* he ACTUALLY did it?!?! Barry, Barr, PLEASE tell me you got a picture of this
Barry quietly: …i did, I’ll show it to you later
Dick: Okay, maybe we should move on, before we get started, I forgot to mention, if a song a song is used that ends up getting a team eliminated, it is NOT off the board, so wannabe is still on the board, but now up next we’ve got 90s pop! Sixty seconds to discuss starts now!
*in the first mixed universe group*
Rudy: alright, I have an Idea, did any of you listen to those tapes I had Jaime send over?
Nikki: yeah, we had to have Sirius do some translations for some of them, but yeah, we did
Jesse: yeah, a friend of mine had to do some translations for some of the songs for me too…and chewed me out for having never heard of Selena until now
Jaime: *snorts dryly* they’re Chicana I’m guessing?
Jesse: That means…mexican-american, right?
Jaime: yes
Jesse: then yes, that’s right
Jaime: rule number one of being friends with a latin-american, never tell a latin-american you’ve never heard of Selena, especially if they’re a chicano
Jesse: yeahhh…I learned that the hard way already…she did have some good music though, I didn’t understand half of it, but I loved the melody
Rudy: okay, but my idea, Como La Flor
Tonks (6246): that’s going to be a no, is that even really 90s pop?
Rudy: It came out in the 90s and its a pop song, and before you say anything, Tejano is Chicano pop so it still counts!
Jaime: ...I thought you said Tejano was Chicano Country?
Rudy: Tejano is chicano everything!
Jaime: yeah, Rudy, I love Selena as much as the next guy, but let's pencil that for later, and keep thinking…
*meanwhile with Earth-X group huddled up*
Lucifer: right, so what song are we doing?
Evelyn: maybe “I want it that way” by the Backstreet boys?
Lucifer: ah, one of the few resistance bands that made it out of the resistance and didn’t end up on a nazi hit list, nice choice, and honestly they got it right, but who’s doing who’s going to be our backstreet boys and who’s solely the imitating the instrumentals?
Nora: oh, for the backstreet boys I feel like that decision’s easy, Bart, Cal, Loki, Lucifer, and Aaron
Loki: why us??
Morgan knowing why: Bart and Cal already look like they could be in a boy band and have the vocals to match, Lucifer also has the vocals to match, Aaron same reason as bart and Cal, and Loki can literally change himself to look like a member of one direction
Evelyn: *trying not to laugh* …my husband the boy band singer
Ricky: *muffled laughter*
Aaron: *rolls his eyes*
Loki: *sighs* fine, but no one tell my brother
*meanwhile back at the bar*
Han (solo): *sighs dryly* I need a drink
Leia dryly; …we’re ghosts, we can’t drink
Steve : you can when you’re in this form! *slides over a glass of whiskey* Corellian Whiskey, neat, I believe that was your preference?
Han (solo): …thank fuck, this is the first time i’ve gotten since to drink since I died
Christian: okay, as impressive as that was…I do the barserving around here
Steve : fair enough tapster
*christian, echo, charlie, adelynn, and hudson all choke on air*
Fives: what did you just call him?
Susan: …are you alright Charlie?
Charlie playing it off: perfectly fine love
Steve casually: it’s just a nickname for a bartender, don’t worry *telepathically to Echo, Charlie, Adelynn, Hudson, and Christian* my bad guys! I forgot for for a moment that its not public knowledge that you’re not a spy
Fives: …hey, Jason, what’re you doing?
Jason: recording this so I could bully Dick forever
Fives: are you recording everyone or just Dick?
Jason: Everyone, why?
Fives: …I’ll give you twenty bucks if you can get me a copy of that recording
Jason: deal!
Charlotte dryly sitting down next to the force ghosts: I need a drink–Non Alcoholic
Christian: I’m on it
Finn awkwardly: well that was…*unsure of what to say* fun while it lasted?
Poe; Honestly how the hell were we supposed to know Ben could sing now??
Charlotte: yeah…
Jason: so Poe, how long since you were, y’know…brought back…
Poe: about a month, why?
Jason: I’m just curious…and how long were you…gone…
Poe: about a couple of hours, why how long were you gone?
Jason: six months
Poe; wow, that is a LONG time to be dead…
Jason dully: yep.
Charlotte: could you guys maybe talk about something else…
*back with the earth-prime*
Barry: alright, everyone, huddle up
*they all do so*
Barry: alright, what song are we thinking
Cisco: well its nineties pop so I’d have to say…hit me baby one more time?
Kara: yes!
Sara: that’s a good pick, but we need a backup just in case
Ray: what about backstreet’s back?
HR: I like it but we only have four guys…what about More than words by Extreme!
Ray: Oh, that’s a good one! Although is it pop?
Kara: I mean…it’s J-pop technically, and I think that counts
Winn: oh believe me, it counts
Ray: good enough for me!
Cisco: alright, who’s our Britney in the case of Hit me baby one more time?
Everyone in the group other than Kara: …Kara
Kara: really? I mean I’ll do it, but I was going to suggest Sara
Sara: c’mon girl, we all know you’re our best female singer
Caitlin (Prime): its true
HR: just like we know B.A’s our best Male singer
Barry: I’m no–
Ray: Barry, we’ve all heard you sing, I’m behind them when I say you are, and you definitely have the best voice for for “more than words”...but for the harmony moments I’m thinking we’re also going to want cisco depending on where we get
Cisco: however there are also moments where depending on what we do with three and even four or five part harmonies so for three maybe we go with the two of us, and with four or five we go with HR and Winn if we get to that
HR: I like that plan San Francisco my friend
Barry: alright then, we have our plan
*with team one for the Earth-62406 group*
Iris: alright, we need to go this time, without a doubt
Leo: agreed, but what song are we doing?
Iris: Mum, Ronnie, the 90s was your eras, you two take lead on this one
Holly: I’d have to say either “oops! I did it again” by Britney Spears, or “Backstreet’s back” by the Backstreet boys
Iris: alright, Britney Spears is our option a. For that I’m thinking either, Me, mum, or Ali, sorry Dom, but you know–
Dominique: oh, I’m not disagreeing with you, we all know my voice does NOT match Britney spears’...but my vote goes to Iris…
Sirius (62406): and who would our backstreet boys be if we did backstreet’s back?
Ali: James Sirius, Leo, Aidan, Louis, and Ronnie, easiest pick ever, the five of them can all be our backstreet boys
Leo: oh c’mon! Really!?
Iris innocently: Caitlin would probably like it to see you in a boy band
Leo: *groaning dryly*
Aidan: …I’m guessing I also don’t have a choice in this?
Iris: nope! But again this is our back-up plan so it might not even happen…
*once the sixty seconds are up*
Dick: alright, Oliver, Wade, if you could, oh and before we get started, just know, this is one of the rounds where if everyone goes, the last team finishing has to complete their song, and we’ll all only be going once around, now if you could
*Deadpool and oliver (reluctantly) starts humming the tune to Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now) by C+C Music Factory”
Dick: Everybody dance now! …Everybody–
Jaime cutting in: Everybody get up, it's time to slam now, We got a real jam goin' downl Welcome to the Space Jam Alright…
*the first mixed earth group starts imitating the tune to Space Jam by Quad City DJ’s*
Jaime: Wave your hands in the air if you feel fine, We're gonna take it in–
Tej cutting in: in my life, A little bit of Erica by my side…
*the rest of the 611381225 starts imitating the tune of Mambo no. 5 by Lou Bega*
Tej: A little bit of Rita's all I need, A little bit of Tina's what I see, A little bit of Sandra in the sun, A little bit of Mary all night long, A little bit of Jessica, here I am, A little bit of you makes me your man…
Roman: Ah!
Tej: Mambo number 5…Jump up and down and move it all around, Shake your head to the sound, Put your hand on the ground, Take one step left and one step right, One to the front and one to the side, Clap your hand once and clap your hands twice, And–
Aurora cutting in: And it opened up my eyes, I saw the sign
*James (111605), Remus (111605), George (111605), Fred (111605), and Remy all start imitating the tune of “ the sign ” by Ace of Base*
Lily(111605), Allana, and Aurora: No one's gonna drag you up to get into the light where you belong
Aurora: But where do you belong? …under the pale moon, for so many years I've wondered who you are, How could a person like you bring me joy? Under the pale moon, where I see a lot of stars…Oh–
Kara: Oh baby, baby, how was I supposed to know…that something wasn’t right there?
*Everyone else from the Earth-prime starts imitating the tune of “ ...baby, one more time ” by Britney Spears*
Kara: Oh, baby, baby, I shouldn't have let you go, And now you're out of sight, yeah, Show me how you want it to be, Tell me, baby, 'cause I need to know now, Oh, because…My loneliness is killin' me
Caitlin (prime): And IIIIII
Kara: I must confess, I still believe! *starts levitating in the air*
*Winn smirking*
Sara: Still believe!
Kara: And when I’m not with you, I lose my mind…
Sara, Kara, and Caitlin (prime): Give me a siiiiiiggggnn
Kara: *levitating higher as she then continues to to sing again* Give me a siiiiiggggnn, hit me baby ONE MORE TIME *quickly drops down at high speed* Oh–
Kate cutting in: Oh baby, baby, Oops, I did it again
*the others from the second mixed universe group get start singing the tune of “ Oops! …I did it again ” by britney spears*
Kate: I played with your heart, got lost in the game, Oh baby, baby ,Oops, you think I'm in love, That I'm sent from above, I'm not that innocent! You –
Cal cutting in: You are…my fire…the one…desire…believe, when I say…I want it that way
Bart: When we, are two worlds, apart, can't’ reach, to your heart, when you say…I want it that way!
*just then everyone else from the earth-x group other than Lucifer, Aaron, Cal, Bart, and Loki (now with the appearance of Howie Dorough), starts singing the tune of “ I want it that way ” by the backstreet boys*
Bart: Tell me why!
All five of the boys; Ain’t nothing but a heartache
Bart: Tell me why!
All five of the boys; Ain’t nothing but a mistake, Tell me why!
Bart: I ain’t never wanna hear you say…
All five of the boys; I want it that way…
Aaron: Am I…your fire, your one…desire, yes I knoooow, It’s–
Aaron and Cal: …too…
Aaron: –late, but I want it that way…Tell me why!
All five of the boys; Ain’t nothing but a heartache
Aaron: Tell me why!
All five of the boys; Ain’t nothing but a mistake, tell me why…
Cal: I never wanna hear you say
All five of them: I want it that way!
Lucifer: Now I can see that we've fallen apart, From the way that it used to be
All five of them: Yeah
Lucifer and Aaron: No matter the distance, I want you to know, That deep down inside of meeeeee
Loki (in the appearance of Howie Dorough thanks to magic): You are–
Leo cutting in: Everybody! Rock your body, yeah, Everybody, yeah, Rock your body right
Louis, Aidan, Leo (reluctantly), James Sirius, and Ronnie: Backstreet’s back, alright!
*the rest of the first 62406 group starts singing the tune of “ Backstreet’s back ” by the backstreet boys, while Iris uses a Lighter version of the smokescreen spell for dramatic effect*
Louis: Oh my God, we're back again…
*Chloe over at the bar just DYING in laughter at seeing Louis doing this song like the backstreet boys*
Louis: Brothers, sisters, everybody sing, Gonna bring the flavor, show you how, Got a question for you, better answer now, yeah
Aidan: Am I original?
All five of them: Yeaaahh
Leo: Am I the ONLY ONE
All five of them: yeaaahh
Aidan: Am I–
Adelynn cutting in: I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I really really really, wanna zigazig ah!
*the rest of the coruscant-111605 group singing the tune to “ Wannabe ” by the spice girls*
Teddy, Scorpius, Albus, and Harry(62406) immediately cutting in: I swear! by the moon and the stars in the skies, And I swear like the shadow that's by your side…
*the rest of the second 62406 group starts singing the tune of I swear by All-4-One*
Teddy: I see the questions in your eyes, I know what’s weighing on your mind, You can be sure I know my part
Scorpius: Cause IIII stand beside you through thre years you’ll only cry those happy tears, and though I make mistakes, I’lll never break your heeeeart
All four of them: And I swear! By the Moon and the starts in the skies…
Albus: I’ll be thereee
All four of them: Like the shadow that’s by your side
Harry (62406): I’ll be thereeee
Scorpius: For better or worse, til death do us paaart
All four of them: I’ll love you with every beat of my heart
Teddy: And I sweeeear…
Albus: I’ll give you everything I–
Victoire cutting in: I don’t want no scrubs–
*the rest of the third 62406 group starts singing the tune to “ No Scrubs ” by TLC*
Victoire: A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me, Hangin' out the passenger side, Of his best friend's ride, Trying to holla at me, I don't want no scrub, A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me, Hangin' out the passenger side ,Of his best friend's ride, Trying to holla at me Well a scrub checkin' me, But his game is kinda weak, And I know that he cannot approach me, 'Cause I'm looking like class, and he's looking like trash, Can't get wit' a deadbeat ass, So no, I don't want your number, No, I don't want to give you mine and, No, I don't want to meet you nowhere, No, I don't want none of your time, No, I–
Cassie cutting in: I’m a genie in a botttleeee–
*the rest of the 200k group starts singing the tune of “ Genie in a bottle ” by Christina Aguilera*
Cassie: you gotta rub me the right way, if you wanna be with me, I can make your dreams come true, You gotta make a big impression, Gotta like what you do, If you wanna be with me
Hope (van dyne): If you wanna be with me
Cassie: Baby, there's a price to pay, I’m a genie in a bottle, you gotta rub me the right way, if you wanna be with me, I can make your wish come true, Just come and set me free, baby, and I’ll be with YOUUUUUUUUU
*the song ends as there’s then cheering from the audience by the bar*
Hudson: damn they’re all really good…
Stephanie:: …alright, who wants to make bets on who’s winning this shit?
Christian: *put 20 dollars onto the bar counter* 20 bucks, earth-X, I’ll go ahead and keep track *pulls out a pen and notepad*
Stephanie: *puts 20 dollars on the bar counter* I like the way you talk Bartender, 20 buck minimum bet, for me its going to be thirty bucks on a tie between the one Firestorm is in, the one that has the Devil and the one that has Kara
Jason: *while recording slams 20 bucks onto the counter* the Devil and Kara’s groups
Echo: what the hell, I’ll take a piece of that action, 25 bucks, all on X *slams 25 bucks on the table*
Charlotte; hey, since I’m already out, can I bet?
Stephanie: I don’t see why not
Charlotte; fuck yeah! *pulls out 5 credits and puts them on the table* Five credits, which is about the same as 20 usd which I know thanks to multiversal poker night, all on 111605
Christian: Which one? Coruscant or Earth?
Charlotte: Coruscant
Finn: what the hell, i’ll get in on that action, sorry Char, I know he’s your brother, but…five credits on 62406, Iris’ group *puts five credits on the table* I have a feeling they’re going to end up winning
Tim immediately: 20 bucks *slams down 20 buck* Earth-X
Stephanie teasingly: well that was fast timmy
Tim: Steph, you do realize those are ACTUAL Credits, right, not replicas or props, those are REAL star wars credits, you really think I’m not going to take the chance to win that?
Cassandra: fair enough, put me down for thirty on Prime *slams down thirty bucks*
Bobby: you better believe I’m getting in on this action, thirty on X! *slams down thirty bucks*
Steve : you see, I’d get in on this, but I already know who wins, it’s a part of my fourth wall abilities, and before you ask, no i won’t tell, and no, no one else knows, not even Oliver
Adelynn (X): Shit…
Constantine: rubbish, how could you POSSIBLY know who’s going to win before it happens, you don’t have future vision, do you??
Steve : like I said, fourth wall abilities
Constantine; right…put my twenty on a tie between earth-x and prime
MJ: what the hell, we’ll get in on this *puts down 20 dollars* put me and Ned down for 20 bucks each on our earth
Ned: Okay then I guess *puts down 20 bucks*
Harry (Wells): …20 dollars on Jesse’s group *puts down the money*
Jason: Kori, Babs, you getting in on this?
Kori: I’m good, thank you
Barbara: well i’m getting in on this, thirty, X *puts down thirty dollars*
Hudson under his breath: …Charles I think this is right, but could you run a calculations check for me? …thanks… *out loud* alright, I know this might sound crazy, but I’m betting on a three way tie between, Prime, Earth-111605, Iris’ 62406 group, and X
Stephanie: Yeah, had you picked three I wouldn’t have said anything but FOUR?!
Christian: ……you sure you wanna do this hudson?
Jason: you’re really going to bet the same way as DICK?!
Hudson: *slams down the twenty dollars* yep…
Christian: alright, anyone else betting, going once–
Snart: don’t even think about closing it christian before I can make my bet…*puts down twenty* twenty on X, Earth-111605, Prime, and Iris’ 62406 group, call me crazy, but I’ve got a good feeling about the kid’s bet
Christian: oooookay, alright, going once, going twice, aaaaand–*just then Dogpool walks over with Jeff and Barks*
Zatanna: *smiling slightly* hey there you two, what’re you doing here?
*jeff just smiling stops by one of the bar chairs as Dogpool then gently jumps on jeff then onto one of the bar chairs*
Stephanie: what the–*looks at a note on dogpool’s back that reads “check dogpool’s suit pocket” as she then opens it and reads a note attached to a 20 dollar bill that says “don’t ask how I know you’re betting, you wouldn’t believe me if I told you, but my bet is the same as it is with judges bet on Earth-X, winning and everyone else losing, signed, the Merc with the mouth, Wade Wilson, Deadpool”* well okay then *puts the money on the table* that Deadpool says he wants to bet twenty bucks on Earth-X
Christian: alright, and are all the bets in going …once…twice…
Han (Solo) sighing dryly: I wish I could bet…
Chewbacca: I’ll bet ten credits on Ben’s group winning!
Constantine: *chokes on his drink* how the bloody hell did I just understand the ruddy walking carpet?!?!
Charlotte darkly: What did you call him?
Constantine: sorry, didn’t mean anything by it luv, It’s just I was caught off guard by the fact he was speaking ENGLISH
Echo: so it wasn’t just me who heard that then, got it
Bobby confused: wait, he doesn’t speak english?
Fives: he’s a wookie bobby. No. No he doesn’t….although I heard english too…
Zatanna: same here…
Charlie: …well I’m half angel so I naturally understand all languages, I don’t speak them, but I understand them
Hudson: and I have an automatic universal translator in my glasses
Christian: I’m sorry, I must be crazy, because I could’ve sworn I just heard you say he’s speaking english when what he just said did NOT sound like english it sounded like growls
Tim: I’m sorry, you all heard english? You guys MUST be crazy, because that wouldn’t even make sense–wait a second…that was the doctor we met earlier…*realizes* show of hands, who’s been in the T.A.R.D.I.S?
Susan: clever lad’s figured it out! the TARDIS is psychic, acts as a universal translator, and spend enough time in it, which isn’t that hard to, and your brain gets rewired so it can understand nearly any alien language in the universe in your native language, based on the amount of time spent in the TARDIS, it’ll wear off in roughly a week, well with me it’s permanent considering how long I’ve been in the TARDIS, but for most of you it’ll wear of in a week!
Everyone who was in the TARDIS: WHAT?!?!
Constantine; …meaning whoever went to help save Susan, now can understand any language in the universe? Not even most forms of magic could do that…that IS some advanced technology
Hudson: I mean the Doctor’s Time Lord technology is what Mr Stark used to make the Gallfreyan Gambit protocol that transported us from the central city base to the LA one, it was so good, that only Miss Stark could improve with the last of her future technology stash
Susan: *chokes on air* I’m sorry, did you say the GALLIFREYAN GAMBIT?? Honestly grandfather would be even more offended than am…Gallifreyan is BARELY even a real word!!
Hudson: talk to morgan, it’s her program that her dad invented
Susan: oh, I will
Christian: alright, moving on, what was chewbacca’s bet?
*Chewbacca puts ten credits on the table*
Echo: ten credits
Christian: and with that all bets are closed for now!
Barbara: What do you mean for now?
Christian: I have an Idea that you’ll find out about in a while…
*meanwhile back with the others*
Dick: Okay, really, great work everyone! Now onto the next round! But before we do, the three of us would like to hand out some style points. Now, our top three for style points have to go to, Earth-Prime, Earth-X, and Earth-62406 group 1!
Oliver: For Earth-Prime, we had to give props to Kara for the use of her flight capabilities for extra effect while singing, well done
Kara: YES
Dick: for me I’ve gotta go with Iris’ group for the Harmonies between Louis, Leo, James Sirius, Aidan and Ronnie were amazing, and nice touch with the light smokescreen Iris!
Iris: thanks!
Deadpool: and finally for the second group that did the backstreet boys thing, but did it better, with a better song, better harmonies by the first Bohemian boy, Vision quest, son of speedy, goat legs, and Loki, AND A guy who LOOKS LIKE A BACKSTREET BOY, *gesturing to loki* …well done to earth-x
Lucifer dryly: you couldn’t have done it WITHOUT the nicknames?
Deadpool: nope, they were too important
Dick: but now, before moving onto the next round, something I forgot to mention, there is another special rule! In the event of someone cutting in with a song you were going to do with your team, you are allowed to cut in with that same song, but however it is a VERY high risk, doing so, it will pretty much guarantee you both get style points, but here is why it is tricky, if you attempt this, both of your groups need to be active in this, and the two people doing the most singing will be basically in a sort of song duel, and if you do not do this perfectly, both teams will be knocked out, however, there’s another twist to this…you have to go from whatever point in the song you were, to the end of the song, and that WILL end the round, if there are people remaining who haven’t sung, their groups get a pass to the next round, do you all understand?
Iris: Well that’s an insane twist to NOT LEAD WITH!!
Lucifer: well things just got more interesting, by a LOT
Dick: Oliver, this category is all you, take it away
Oliver: *sighs dryly* alright, now next up…Is the Michael jackson round, and yes, Jackson five songs are valid options, you all have sixty seconds to discuss starting, Now!
*with the Earth-Prime group*
HR: Alright, I think we can all agree that B.A. is our Michael Jackson, right?
Ray: his voice IS the best suited for it
Sara: oh without a doubt
Kara: alright, Barry, what song are we doing?
Barry: what about smooth criminal! Cisco, Winn, you two wanna do backup vocals for it?
Cisco and Winn: sure!
Caitlin: which means the rest of us are on melody duty, got it
Kara: let’s do this!
*meanwhile with the Earth-111605 group*
Remus; alright, I think we can all agree that Sirius is our Michael Jackson
Remy: dat’s wit out question mon amis
Sirius (111605): wait, why me?!
Aurora dryly: show of hands, who here can moonwalk
*only Sirius raises his hand*
Lily (111605): and now you have your answer
Allana; I’m sorry, what’s moonwalking?
George (111605): beat me to the question there love, what exactly, IS moonwalking?
Sirius (111605): You’ll see I guess
Fred (111605): well this ought to be bloody interesting, but what song are we doing?
Allana: yeah, there’s billie jean, thriller, beat it
Sirius (111605): Billie Jean, that’s the one where he actually DOES the moonwalk
James (111605): that’s fair
Remy: hol on a secon’ now, how do you four even KNOW about Billie Jean, Thriller, and Beat it, din those songs come out AFTER you died?
Sirius: actually it came out while I was in azkaban so I just learned about it after I broke out
James (111605): also they HAVE music in the afterlife
Remy: huh…good to know
*meanwhile with the earth-X group*
Evelyn: alright, for our song I’m thinking smooth criminal, you’ve all seen me and aaron’s version of the song
Lucifer: you’re right, and what do we do for our backup
Evelyn: …we don’t…
Amenadiel: I’m not sure if it would be wise to do what I think you’re implying, that is if you’re implying what I THINK you’re implying
Evelyn: I say, if someone tries to do it before we do, we fight for it, we try to earn those style points! We Song fight them
Lucifer: are you Bloody mad??
Aaron: alright, so what would that be then? Because if it comes down to it, I think you should take the lead for that
Evelyn: alright, I’m fine with that
Morgan: this seems like a bad Idea
Luis (X): Yeahhh, sorry Ev, I gotta areee with little s on this one
Evelyn: *Snorts* little S?
Morgan: Luis!
Luis (X): oh, yeah, did you guys not know? I was friends with her dad and I used to call her little S when she was a baby, and then I just kept up with it
Evelyn: No I did not
Ricky: but back on point…I say go big or go home
Bart: same here!
Nora: of course you would Bart, I say we don’t
Cal: I gotta side with bart, we might as well go down fighting
The Doctor: I like the way you think Cal
Loki: same here!
Lucifer: alright Evelyn, it’s your call
Evelyn: I say…we song fight!
The Doctor, Cal, Bart, Ricky, and Loki: YES
Aaron: whatever you say love
Evelyn: alright, let’s do this!
*With the Fast and Furious group*
Brian: jackson five song?
Tej: yep
Letty: what’re we thinking? I think we go ABC with I want you back as a backup
Mia: I like those options, but who’s our Jackson five?
Roman: …Tej, I swear to god if you say no–
Tej: Yeah, yeah, I know, but who else other than us two, because that leaves Han, Bri, Dom, and–
Roman: and Mr Clean
Hobbs: yeah unless I’m michael I’m not doing that
Roman dryly: Michael? PLEASE If ANY of us is michael, it’s me, not your bald headed baby-oiled head ass, you’re probably more like Jermaine, Tito on your best day
Hobbs: you’re gonna make fun of me for being bald? With that Big-ass forehead? Also TITO?!
Brian: I’ll do it
Tej: *snorts*
Han (Seoul-Oh): what the hell, sooner we only have 60 seconds fine I’ll do it
Brian: alright, so its between Dom and Hobbs
Dom: Hobbs?
Hobbs: …alright, I’ll do it, but who’s our Michael?
Brian and Roman: I’ll do it—
Roman: and considering we’re doing Black michael, and not bleached white michael, I’m doing it
Brian: …I don’t have bleached white–
Roman teasing: you might not have bleached skin, but that hair you got definitely looks bleached, blondie
Brian: *flipping him off while laughing slightly* fuck you, man
Roman innocently: I don’t hear you denying iiit…
Brian innocently: and I don’t see you hiding that big-ass forehead, so shut the fuck up!
*after the 60 seconds are up*
Oliver; alright, let’s do this…Deadpool, Dick?
*Deadpool and Dick both start singing the tune of Beat It by Michael Jackson*
Oliver singing REALLY good: They told him, "Don't you ever come around here” The fire's in their eyes and their words are really clear, So beat it, just beat it–You
Sirius (111605) taking a moment to cut in, in shock: you do, And don't go around breaking young girls' hearts…
*just then the rest of the the Earth-111605 group starts singing the tune to Billie Jean by Michael Jackson*
Sirius: …And mother always told me be careful of who you love, And be careful of what you do 'cause the lie becomes the truth! Hey-hey! *starts moonwalking* Billie Jean is not my lover, She's just a girl who claims that I am the one, But the kid is not my son, She says I am the one…but the kid is not my son! Hee-he-hee OW! *stops moonwalking* For forty days and for forty nights, the law was on her side, But who can stand when she's in demand? Her schemes and plans 'Cause we danced on the floor in the round. So take my strong advice, Just remember to always think twice
Remy: Don't think twice!
Remus: Do think twice!
Sirius A-hoo! She told my baby we'd danced 'til three, then she looked at me, Then showed a photo of a baby cryin', his eyes were like mine 'Cause we danced on the floor in the round, baby Ooh, hee-hee-hee! People always told me, "Be careful of what you–
Roman cutting in: When I had you to myself, I didn’t want you around, I didn’t want you around!
*the rest of the 611381225 group starts singing the tune of “ I want you back ” by the Jackson 5*
Roman: Those pretty faces always made you stand out in a crowd , But someone picked you from the bunch, one glance was all it took, Now, it's much too late for me to take a second look! Oh, baby, give me one more chance
Hobbs, Brian, Tej, Roman, and Han (Seoul-Oh): To show you that I love you
Roman: Won’t you please let me
Hobbs, Brian, Tej, Roman, and Han(Seoul-Oh): Back into your heart!
Roman: Oh, darlin', I was blind to let you go
Hobbs, Brian, Tej, Roman, and Han (Seoul-Oh): Let you go!
Roman: But now, since I see you in h–
Barry cutting in: As he came into the window, it’s the sound of a crescendo, ah–
*the rest of the Earth-Prime group starts singing the tune to “ Smooth Criminal ” by Michael Jackson (the glee vers.)*
Barry: He came into your apartment, there were bloodstains on the carpet, ah, she went underneath the table, you could she she was unable, so she ran into the bedroom, it was her doom, Annie are you okaaaaayyyy
Evelyn: *while making direct eye contact with barry starts slowly walking towards him* Annie are you okaaaaayy?
Barry off guard but going with it: *as he starts to walk towards her* are you okay annie?
Evelyn: So annie are you okayyyy?
Barry: Annie are you okaaaayyyyy?
Evelyn: are you okay annie?
*the tension in the room changes from a pop vibe to confrontational as the Earth-X group joins the Earth-Prime group, in singing the tune of “smooth criminal” and Barry and Evelyn start slowly circling each other around the floor of lux*
Evelyn: Annie are you okayyyy?
Barry: So annie are you okay?
Evelyn: Annie are you okayyyy?
Barry: Are you okay annie?
Evelyn: Annie are you okay?
Barry: So annie are you okay?
Evelyn and Barry: ARE YOU OKAY ANNIE?! Annie, are you okay?, Would you tell us that you're okay?
Barry: ah!
Evelyn and Barry: There's a sign in the window, That he struck you - a crescendo, Annie, He came into your apartment, He left the bloodstains on the carpet
Barry: ah!
Evelyn and Barry: And then you ran into the bedroom, You were struck down, It was your doom
Barry: Annie are you okayyyy?
Evelyn: So annie are you okaaayyy?
Barry: Are you okay annie?
Evelyn: Annie are you okayyyy?
Barry: So annie are you okay?
Evelyn: are you okay annie?
Barry and Evelyn: Annie are you okayyyyy, are you okay annie?
Barry: You’ve been hit by!
Evelyn: You’ve been struck by!
Barry and Evelyn: a smooth criminal!
*just then there’s a brief moment of just accapella singing from the two groups excluding Barry and Evelyn*
Evelyn: I don’t knooooowwwwww
Barry: Annie, are you okay? Will you tell us that you're okay? There's a sign in the window
Evelyn: I don’t know!
Barry: That he struck you - a crescendo, Annie
Evelyn: I don’t know!
Barry: He came into your apartment
Evelyn: I don’t know!
Barry: Left bloodstains, on the carpet
Evelyn : I don’t know why, baby!
Barry: Then you ran into the bedroom
Evelyn: I don’t know!
Barry: you were struck down, it was your doom
Evelyn and Barry: Annie!
Barry; Annie are you okay?
Evelyn: Dang, gone it baby!
Barry: Will you tell us that you’re okay?
Evelyn: Dang, gone it baby!
Barry: There’s a sign in the window
Evelyn: Dang, gone it baby!
Barry: That he struck you - A crescendo, Annie
Evelyn: Hoo! Hoo!
Barry; He came into your apartment
Evelyn: Dang, gone it!
Barry: Left bloodstains on the carpet, ah!
Evelyn: Hoo! Hoo!
Barry: Then you ran into the bedroom
Evelyn: Dang, gone it!
Barry: you were struck down, it was your doom annie! You’ve been hit by!
Evelyn and Barry; You’ve been struck by! A smooth criminal!
*just then everyone stops singing at the same time*
Dick: ……literally right after I announce the rule someone does it…Wow, that’s surprising…and that was really impressive you guys!
Barry and Evelyn: Thanks!
Barry: he’s right though, you guys did really good
Evelyn: thanks! And you did too, nice job keeping up with me surprise challenging
Barry: Yeah, i nearly slipped, but we got it figured out
Dick: well the style points are definitely going to X and Prime…but for the third…it was really close, but We’re giving it to Earth-111605 for Sirius’ moonwalking while singing, really well done
The Earths Prime, 111605, and X groups: Yes!!
*meanwhile back at the bar*
Zatanna: …holy shit they actually pulled that off…
Jason: yeah, I thought they were both goners there, definitely a ballsy move from earth-x…I respect it
Tim: and neither team has any mind readers, right?
Christian: I mean…we have Cal, but he wouldn’t use that for this, and it’s not really mind reading, more he can see the past, and I guess he COULD in theory read someone’s mind with enough focus, and we have adelynn who can do the same thing, minus the part about seeing the past, I mean there’s Amenadiel but he wouldn’t do that…and Evelyn and Barry were doing the heavy lifting for this, and Evelyn doesn’t have any superpowers, and Barry doesn’t have any mind reading capabilities to my knowledge
Duke still processing: …so everyone here is some kind of hero?
Hudson: for the most part, like for example, I’m just an R&D intern, no one too important yet–
Susan: Oh really? You know my grandfather would have something to say about that, he’s been around over a million years, and he says he’s never met a single person who wasn’t important, plus considering you’re a kid genius, with an intellect level to understand Time Lord technology being able to help with my upgrades…I think that makes you pretty important
Hudson: thanks, Susan, but what I MEANT was, some of us are just resistance members, doing our part for the cause
Christian: yep, I just tend the bar, but I will give you this, the resistance does have hell of a lot of heroes
Steve : Okay, for the sake of time, and the writer's sanity I’m just going to do a little…*all of a sudden he snaps his fingers and suddenly three rounds have passed*
Oliver: what th–*under his breath* dammit steve… *glaring at him through the hologram*
Steve : okay, so everyone’s on track of what just happened, both mixed universe groups are out now, and we still have a shitton of rounds to go through
Jaime slowly confused sitting at the barstool next to Steve ; we’ve been here the whole time?
Steve : oh, that update wasn't for you, but let’s just move on, you wouldn’t get it
Christian: right, now for what I meant when I said bets are closed for now, anyone who just got out in these last couple rounds, if you’re interested, you can enter the betting pool for who’s winning this, it’s thirty bucks minimum, and thirty minimum to change, that goes to anyone who’s already bet
Duke dryly: wasn’t it twenty?
Christian: yeah, but we have to account for the fact there are less teams to bet on now
Stephanie: …I like you…and I’m glad none of us bet on you two
Rudy: oye! …but, alright mr bartender, I’ll take a modelo, and thirty bucks on el diablo’s group, the group with the only other latino than the me, Jaime, this dude in the cloak, the group with diablo, and the group with the fast and shrinky guy, oh, and the one with the ghosts
Christian: alright, that’d be, X, Prime, and Earth-111605
Jaime: rudy, are we sure that’s a–
Rudy; *slams forty bucks on the table*
Christian: …this is forty?
Rudy: I don’t know how much modelo costs here
Christian: …Lucifer told me it’s open bar for you guys
Rudy: Open bar? *takes back a ten and slams his fist on the table* Line them up bartender! I’ll take three modelos!
Christian: we don’t have modelo on this earth?
Rudy: no modelo?! What about corona?!
Christian: great, but it’s hard to come by, so that’s going to also be a no
Rudy: …I hate this earth, fine then just get me a couple shots of tequila! *
Christian: okay, that I can do! And any other bets before I do that?
Nikki: Tie between X, prime, Earth-111605, and Azalea’s 62406 group, and how many galleons is thirty dollars for this earth?
Steve : put in five and you’re good
Nikki: sweet! *puts in five galleons*
Kate: I–
Clint: Kate. don’t.
Kate dryly: I’m not a child clint…but now that I’m thinking about it, thirty bucks is definitely a steep price for a betting pool…fine…
Sherloque: well, considering that none of my ex-wives know that I’m alive, or likely even remember me, and I don’t have to pay Alimony anymore, I have money to burn with how the detective business has been, I’ll put forty on Prime and X monsieur chance *puts the money on the counter*
Christian did you say ex-wiveS? How many ex-wives do you have?!
Sherloque: six wives, seven marriages, twice to the same person, soon to be eight with me being engaged to the wonderful renee adler formerly of earth-1 now, of earth-221, my earth,
Stephanie: SIIIIIIIIIIX
Steve : if you know, you know
Percy: I’m sorry, did you say SEVEN MARRIAGES?!
Sherloque: soon to be eight!
Percy: Harry, please tell me Sherloque is Joking
Harry (Wells): okay, first off Jackson, only people from Earth-Prime, and other wells call me Harry, call me Harrison or Dr Wells, please, and second my friend, unfortunately no he is not
Percy: …hera would have a field day with you
Harry (wells): oh, and he hasn’t even told you the best part yet, tell them sherloque
Charlotte dryly: there’s no way it could get any worse
Steve : you see you’d think that buuuuuut…I’ll let sherloque tell you
Sherloque sighing: they might’ve been, how do you say…doppelgangers?
Everyone at the bar: WHAT?!
Annabeth: You mean to tell me, you married and divorced basically the same woman…SEVEN TIMES?!?!
Sherloque: okay, they’re not all the EXACT same, non, that’d be terrible, but were they similar, yes, I’ll give you that, What can I say, I have a type
Harry (wells): and he’s engaged to another one!
Grover: ……don’t take this the wrong way but out of curiosity but were YOU at fault for the marriages failing?
Sherloque: some yes, some no, but I’ve changed, one of them cheated on me with my former partner Watsoon, I’m better now, and I found one who really loves me
Jason: …I’m sorry, your name is Sherlock, and your former partner’s name was Watson?
Sherlock: It’s Sherloque and Watsoon, not “ShErLoCk and WaTsOn”
Tim: riiiiiight…why do I have a feeling dick just made things so much more complicated for us
Harry (wells) dryly: you didn’t realize that when seeing three versions of me, three versions of sirius, one of them being a ghost, three versions of Remus, when meeting Deadpool, Steve, and Oliver, or when seeing multiple versions of several people–
Tim: okay, I get the point! …and people think I’M a smartass–
All of the batfamily members other than Dick because he’s busy: Because you are!
Han (solo) in “Corellian”: Oye, Lottie! ¿Cuál es la situación con toda esta gente? ¿Y cómo los conociste? (Hey, Lottie! what’s the situation with these people and how’d you meet them)
Charlotte in “Corellian”: Empecemos con la gente del bar. El chico con la piel ligera y el pelo negro, de pie junto a esa chica y el chico con piernas de animales es Percy Jackson, la chica es su novia Annabeth, y el otro tipo con las piernas de animal es su amigo Grover. Y supuestamente son todos semidioses lo que sea que eso signifique, todo lo que sé es que son caóticos, y son buenos luchadores. (So, let's start with the people at the bar. The kid with the light skin and black hair, standing next to that girl and the kid with animal legs is Percy Jackson, the girl is his girlfriend Annabeth, and the other guy with the animal legs is their friend Grover. And supposedly they're all demigods whatever that means, all I know is they're chaotic, and they're good fighters.)
Han (Solo) in corellian: si…(yes…)
Charlotte in corellian: El tipo del abrigo de trinchera que parece que no quiere estar aquí, y que alguien meó en su bebida es John Constantine, un tipo raro de magia, si pensabas que la fuerza era rara, no has visto la mierda que puede hacer. (The guy in the trench coat that looks like he doesn't want to be here, and that someone pissed in his drink is John Constantine, weird magic guy, if you thought the force was weird, you haven't seen the shit he can do.)
Han (solo): Eso Suena Loco (That sounds crazy)
Charlotte; A continuación está el tipo del traje púrpura que hizo el número musical, es Steve, es un poco poderoso, similar a Oliver, ¡excepto más divertido! (Next up there's the guy in the purple suit who did the musical number, that's Steve, he's kind of all powerful, similar to Oliver, except more fun!)
Han (solo): huh…
Charlotte in corellian: y el tipo sentado junto al viejo, se llama Jaime Reyes. Tiene un traje raro que le permite crear cualquier tipo de arma o explosión que se le ocurra, y el Viejo sentado a su lado es su tío, Rudy Reyes. (oh, and the guy sitting by the old man, his name is Jaime Reyes. He has this weird suit that can allow him to create any type of weapon or blast he could think of, and the Old Man sitting next to him is his uncle, Rudy Reyes.)
Rudy in spanish: OYE! ¿Por qué no miras tu pinche boca, tonta?! Aquí afuera me llama "ViEjO". ¡Sólo tengo 40 años! (Hey! Why don't you watch your fucking mouth, stupid?! Out here calling me “OlD mAn”. I’m only in my 40s!)
Steve in spanish: *snorts* Lo siento Rudy, pero nadie lo cree (Sorry Rudy, but no one’s believing that)
Jaime in spanish: …Lo siento Rudy, pero tiene razón (Sorry Rudy, but he’s right)
Rudy in spanish: ¿Hablas en serio Jaime?! ¡Tú también! (Are you serious Jaime?! You too!)
Sirius (6246) in spanish: ¡No lo es, PERO YO SÍ! (he’s not, BUT I AM!)
Han (solo) in corellian: ¡Espera, espera, espera! ...todos pueden hablar corellian? (Wait, wait, wait! …you all can speak corellian?)
Rudy, Sirius(6246) and Jaime: ¡Es español! (it’s spanish!)
Steve : Estoy bastante seguro de que Oliver ya cubrió que los dos idiomas son casi idénticos. (I'm pretty sure Oliver already covered that the two languages are almost identical.)
Charlotte in corellian: …okay, is there anyone else here who can understand what we’re saying?
Constantine, Snart, Susan, Charlie, Fives, Sherloque, and Tim in spanish: sí, puedo (yes, I can)
Charlotte in corellian: …ustedes quieren unirse a los chismes y la mierda explicación de mi padre? (…you guys wanna join in on the gossip and shit talking explanation to my dad?)
All of the spanish speakers other than Jaime, Rudy, Charlie, and Constantine; ¡Sí! (YES!)
Rudy in spanish: No creo que estés fuera de la señorita por llamarme viejo, pero sí (...don't think you're off the hook missy for calling me old, but hell yes)
Charlie: No sé si es una buena idea… (I don’t know if this is a good Idea…)
Susan: Será un chiste Charlie (It’ll be fine Charlie)
Jaime reluctantly: *sighs* ¿Qué demonios, estoy dentro? (What the hell, I’m in)
Constantine: No veo por qué no, ¿de quién quieres saber? (I don’t see why not, who do you want to know about?)
Han (solo): ¿Y... ella? (what about…her?) *gestures to Evelyn*
Christian in spanish: mala elección, créeme, he sido amiga de ella durante mucho tiempo, hablando mierda de otra persona. Y esto no es una amenaza, pero te lo advierto, si hablas mierda de ella, se enterará, no se lo diré, pero créeme, ella lo sabrá, no sé cómo, pero lo hará. (bad choice, trust me, I've been friends with her for a long time, talk shit about someone else. And this isn't a threat, but I'm just warning you, if you talk shit about her, she'll find out, I won't tell her, but trust me, she'll know, I don't know how, but she will.
Han (solo) in spanish: okay…him? *looks to Jason*
Tim: Tengo este ya que es mi hermano. Y definitivamente elegiste uno interesante para empezar, así que ese es Jason–(I got this one since he 's my brother. And you definitely picked an interesting one to start with, so that's Jason–)
Jason while recording: oh no, Tim’s talking in spanish, Tim what’re you shit talking about me
Tim: verás, no es el más brillante de los hombres, pero lo amamos de todos modos, especialmente ahora que ha terminado con su fase de Emo (you see, he's not the brightest of the bunch, but we love him all the same, especially now that he's done with his Emo phase) *innocently* …don’t worry Jason, I’m not saying anything! …Como dije, no el más brillante, sino Dios, hay mucho que contar sobre él… (Like I said, not the brightest but oh god, there is SO much to tell about him…)
*meanwhile back with the others still in the riff off*
Deadpool: now onto a round I’ve been WAITING for, I think you’ll like this round princesses, because it’s time for the disney round!
Half of the room: YES
Lucifer: Walt’s company! Oh this should be fun!
Cisco: hang on…did you KNOW Walt disney??
Lucifer: I did, good man, the disney company is actually one of our hidden supporters
Aaron: WE HAVE DISNEY FUNDING?!?!
Lucifer: yep! Why else do you think we get copies of disney movies before they’re released, and how many resistance actors were able to get roles in disney films
Aaron: …suddenly things make SO much more sense
Deadpool: that’s kind of weird considering walty boy was a theorized nazi, and kind of an asshole on a bunch of earths
Lucifer: WALT DISNEY?!?! Walt Disney was NOT an arsehole, or a Nazi, he’s pretend to side with them so that we he could still money, much of which comes to us, in fact I’d go as far as saying he was one of the least selfish, kind-hearted, and resistance supportive men I have EVER known
Iris: Well damn… and coming from Lucifer that’s saying a lot…
Dick: alright, back to the point…the disney round! You have sixty seconds startingggg, now!
*with the Iris’ 62406 group*
Iris: alright, this is the moment we’ve been waiting for, how many of you have watched descendants?
*everyone in the group raises their hands except for Ronnie*
Holly bluntly: considering it was you Leo, Ali, and James’ favorite group disney movie to watch together, yes, I’ve seen it
Ronnie: That's the one with the disney villains kids right?
Leo: yep!
Ronnie: it REALLY helps that Caitlin’s a disney fan, so yes, I have watched them…well the first three anyway, we heard the fourth one sucked so we skipped it
Ali: alright, Me, Leo, Jamie, and Iris are taking lead for this song, the four of us literally have the entire choreography memorized from the first three movies, so for the first one we have Rotten to the Core, with Good to be Bad as our back-up, any questions? Nope? Good!
*with the Earth-200000*
Quill: alright what’re we thinking? I’m thinking Hakuna Matata
Scott: Nice one! I think for a backup though we should go with You’ve got a friend in me
Cassie: good choices, but who’s doing which songs?
Luis (200k): for the toy story song we gotta go with Scotty, he has the best voice for it EASILY
Peter; he makes a point Scott
Scott: alright, but for Hakuna Matata, I think it should Be Peter and Cassie
Peter and Cassie: sure!
Peter; wait, but doesn’t Hakuna Matata require a third?
Cassie: you’re right…
Peter: …Mr Quill, do you want to join us for this one?
Quill: sure!
Hope: alright, and we’ve got our plan!
*with the Earth-X group*
Lucifer: so what song are we–
Everyone else in the group: hellfire
Loki: you’re quite literally the devil, there’s no possible way you didn’t see this coming
Lucifer: yes, I suppose, I did…
Amenadiel: honestly it was an easy choice all considering
Lucifer: …as it is just as easy of a choice to have you be our Claude Frollo
Amenadiel sighing dryly: I should’ve seen that coming
Adelynn (X): I mean…you ARE the closest thing we’ve had to a priest in our group being GOD and all
Loki: So what do we have for our backup option?
Aaron: …what about Be Prepared?
The Doctor: ooh, I believe I could do that one well!
Lucifer: alright, in the event of a backup we have Be prepared from the lion king sung by the Doctor…any questions? No? Okay, good
*with the Earth-prime group*
HR kind of excited: alright, do we have any volunteers for this one, because–
Barry: *smiling slightly* yes HR, you can do this one
Sara: wait hang on, actually I was thinking maybe Ray could take this one
Ray: no, it’s fine, Sara, HR can do it–
HR: no, no, it’s fine, you can do it Ray–
Caitlin: …maybe the two of you could co-lead a song?
HR: What a wonderful idea Caitlin, what do you say Raymond, my friend
Ray: I say, let’s do this! But what song?
HR: what about…I’ll make a man out of you from Mulan
Ray: ooh, I love that song, alright, yeah, let’s do this
Barry: but we need a backup
Cisco: …caitlin, if you don’t say anything I will
Caitlin: …Cisco, don’t you dare–
Cisco: …I know that Caitlin here, can do I particularly good version of both Can you feel the love tonight from the lion king, as well as I’m almost there from Princess and the frog
Barry: you’ve heard this?
Cisco: I Wasn’t there for the performance but years ago Ronnie had showed me a video of her in college doing I’m almost there at a karaoke bar, and her mom showed me a video of singing can you feel the love tonight
Caitlin blushing slightly: yeah, from when I was TEN!!
Cisco: I’m sure you could still do a great job with it!
Caitlin: Cisco!
Cisco: alright, we’ll put it to a vote, all in favor of Can you feel the love tonight? *raises his hand*
HR: …I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t curious about this
Barry: I mean…I know you can sing really well when NOT drunk…*while smirking slightly* … Summer lovin–
Caitlin; oh god, I WISH I didn’t remember that
Kara: *snorts* I’m sensing a story there?
Caitlin: I don’t want to talk about it, but barry, don’t tell me–
Barry: I’m voting in favor of Can you feel the love tonight? Yes, I am
Sara: …well I’m a romantic, and I think that it’s pretty fitting considering your new relationship with leo
Ray: hang on, you and Leo are dating?! When did this happen??
Caitlin: we went out right after the events of the last crisis event
Ray: good for you two! But I think with Sara’s vote I think that’s majority rule
Caitlin somewhat dry: *sighs* I know…
Barry slowly: ……at least you’re not drunk this time?
Caitlin: thanks Barry…at least it’s the backup option
Winn: also can we back up a bit, Caitlin, you’re in an interuniversal relationship? How’s that going?
Caitlin: it’s going great actually!
Winn: that’s so good for you! Now let’s do this!
*with the coruscant group*
Ben: …what’s a disney song?
Adelynn: shit, we didn’t show you disney, okay, it’s another muggle thing that we’ll show you when we get back, so Ben, you just kind of go with the flow of the song for this one, now, everyone, what disney songs do we know?
Padme: I really liked that one from that one movie that the twins liked
Adelynn: which twins?
Padme: all of them…I think it was the one with the puppets?
Ahsoka; oh, The muppets! With the things that resembled master yoda!
Anakin: okay, but which song, there were a lot of them
Padme: I think it was the one that went… Why are, there so many, songs about rainbows–
Obi-Wan: rainbow connection!
Padme: yes, that’s it!
Ahsoka: alright, now who’d be doing the song?
Adelynn: *innocently looks at cody*
Cody: what’re you looking at ME for?!?!
Adelynn: Do you not remember the incident we walked in on after coming to check on the kids after me and Obi-Wan’s date night? The one where you were watching the scene where kermit was singing rainbow connection
Ben: …what happened?
Ahsoka: *laughing* he kriffing CRIED
Cody: IT'S NOT MY FAULT! How the hell could a PUPPET FROG come up with such poetic genius?!
Rex: *laughing* well I guess we have our Kermit
Cody: oh, like YOU can talk? You remember when we were watching Hercules, I’m pretty sure I saw you tearing up a little at Go the distance!
Adelynn snorting: and with that was have our backup option, and our Herc
Cody: *snorting*
Rex dryly: dammit
*with the Earth-111605 group*
Remy: I may not know a LOT about disney sha, but there is one song that I know pretty good, dat is a disney song
Aurora: alright Remy, what is it?
Remy: Friends on the other Side by ze great Keith David, fitting considering where I’m from
Lily (111605): …when did that one come out?
Remy: 200–9…oh…now I see why you don’t know that one, perhaps we should go with a different option mon amis…
Aurora: yep, it’s 2002
Allana: What about a whole new world?
Sirius: Wait! I think I have an idea here that could be even better, yes I’m saying we should save whole new world for backup, because we have four BLUE GHOSTS on our team
Fred (111605): what does that have to do with anything?
Sirius (111605): …what is the best song in aladdin?
Lily (111605): A whole new world?
Sirius (111605): Try again
Remus (111605): Prince Ali?
Sirius (111605): one last try…
Aurora: Friend like me?
Sirius (111605); bingo! And with us being bloody GHOSTS we can play the part of the genie perfectly, and Remy, I’m guessing you have your cards?
Remy: never leave home witout ‘em
Sirius(111605); good, Remy, you think you can use your cards to create mild explosions for effect?
Remy: I sure as hell can
Sirius (111605); good, and with that we have our plan
Fred (111605): okay, but you said earlier WE could play the part of the Genie…the Genie is only one character
Sirius (111605): yes, but my Idea, is we split it up between the five of us for flair and extra effect, really get those style points
James (111605): nice idea Pads!
Lily (111605): honestly it makes sense…
Sirius (111605): alright then, let’s do this
*after the sixty seconds are up*
Deadpool: Alright, now, it’s time to appease my disney overlords by starting the disney round!
Remy: now what da hell you talking about there, sha?
Iris: …ohhhh, okay, I think I actually get this one
Leo: yeah, actually now thinking about this one, that joke actually makes a little bit of sense
Ben dryly: Deadpool? making sense? Somehow I don’t believe that
Cisco: Actually now thinking about it, she’s right, that does kind of make sense…huh…
Adelynn: …today, is a VERY weird day
Deadpool: right, now I’d like to start by apologizing to the ice queen for stealing her song, sorry Frosty, Hit it boys! *Dick and Oliver start singing the tune to Let it Go from frozen*
Frost dryly mouthing to him: *while flipping him off* Fuck you
Deadpool singing: The snow glows white on the mountain tonight, Not a footprint to be seen, A kingdom of isolation, And it looks like I'm the queen. The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside, Couldn't keep it in, heaven knows I tried, Don't let them in, don't let them see, Be the good girl you always have to be, Conceal, don't feel, don't let them knooooow, Well, now they–
Iris cutting in: They call me a schemer, call me a freak. How can you say that? I’m just, unique
*the rest of Iris’ 62406 group starts singing the tune of Rotten to the Core from Descendants*
James Sirius: What, me? A traitor? Ain't got your back? Are we not friends? What's up with that?
Ali: So I'm a misfit, so I'm a flirt, I broke your heart, I made you hurt?
Leo: The past is past, forgive, forget, The truth is
Ali, Leo, James Sirius, and Iris: you ain’t seen nothing yet!
Ali and Iris: Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who’s the baddest of them all? Welcome to my wicked world, wicked world...
All four: *as they begin doing the choreography for the end of the song* I’m rotten to the Core, core, Rotten to the core, I'm rotten to the core, core, Who could ask for more? I'm nothing like the kid next, like the kid next doo, I–
Ray cutting in: Get down to business! To defeat. The huuuuns
* the rest of the earth-prime group starts singing the tune of I’ll make a man out of you from Mulan*
HR: Did they send me daughters, When I asked for sons?
Ray: You're the saddest bunch I ever met, But you can bet before we're through
HR: Mister, I’ll make a man out of youuuu
Ray: ... Tranquil as a forest, But on fire within, Once you find your center, You are sure to win
HR: You're a spineless, pale, pathetic lot, And you haven't got a clue
Ray: Somehow, I’ll, make a man, out of youuuu
Barry: I’m never gonna catch my breath
Sara: Say goodbye to those who knew me
Cisco: Boy was I a fool cutting gym…
Kara: this guy’s got ‘em scared to death
Caitlin: hope he doesn’t see right through me
Barry: Now I really wish that I knew how to swim!
Barry, Winn, Kara, Caitlin, Cisco, and Sara singing the chorus: Be a Man!
HR: We must be swift as the coursing River
Barry, Winn, Kara, Caitlin, Cisco, and Sara singing the chorus Be a Man!
Ray: with the force of a great typhoon
Barry, Winn, Kara, Caitlin, Cisco, and Sara singing the chorus Be a Man!
HR: with the strength of a raging fire
HR and Ray: Mysterious as the dark side of the Mooooooooon
Ray: Time is racing toward us 'til the Huns arrive, Heed my every order, and you might survive
HR: You're unsuited for the rage of war, So pack up, go home; you're through
Ray: How could I make a man out of youuuuuuu?
Barry, Winn, Kara, Caitlin, Cisco, and Sara singing the chorus: Be a Man!
Everyone from Earth-Prime: We must be swift as a coursing river
Barry, Winn, Kara, Caitlin, Cisco, and Sara singing the chorus: Be a Man!
Everyon from Earth-Prime: With all the force of a great typhoon
Barry, Kara, Caitlin, Cisco, and Sara singing the chorus: Be a Man!
Everyone from Earth prime: With the strength of a raging fire
HR and Ray: Mysterious as the dark side of the MOOOOOOONNNN
Everyone from Earth-Prime: Be a Man! We–
Sirius (111605) cutting in: Weeeeeell Ali baba had them 40 thieves cheherezad-ie had a thousand tales, But master you in luck 'cause up your sleeves, You got a brand of magic never fails
*the rest of the Earth-111605 group sings the tune of Friend Like Me from Aladdin (Robin Williams ver.) as Remy then throws a card that explodes mid-air behind Sirius then another behind James (111605)*
James (111605): You’ve got some POWER in your corner now, Some heavy ammunition in your camp *another card goes off behind him and another one by Lily (111605)*
Lily (111605): You got some punch, pizzazz, yahoo and how, See all you gotta do is rub that lamp, And I'll say *another card goes off behind her and another by Remus (111605)*
Remus (111605): Mister Aladdin, sir, What will your pleasure be? Let me take your order, Jot it down, You ain't never had a friend like me ha-ha-ha!
*just then another card explosion goes off behind him, then another behind Fred (111605)*
Fred (111605): Life is your restaurant and I'm your maitre d', Come on, whisper what it is you want, You ain't never had a friend like me
*just then another card explosion goes off behind him, then another behind Sirius (111605)*
Sirius (111605): Yes sir, we pride ourselves on service You're the boss, the king, the shah! Say what you wish, it's yours, true dish, How 'bout a little more baklavaaaa? Have some of column A, try all of column B, I'm in the mood to help you, dude, you–
Hobbs cutting in: –YOU DISRESPECT ME LITTLE MAN…
Roman: Don’t you derogate or deride, you’re in my world now, not in your world, and I’ve got friends on the other side…
Brian, Dom, Han, Tej, and Hobbs: He’s got friends on the other side…
Roman: that’s an echo gentleman, just a little something we have here in louisiana–
*everyone from Dom’s universe starts singing the tune of friends on the other side (other than roman)*
Roman: …a little parlor trick, don’t worry, Sit down at my table, put your mind at ease, if you relax it’ll enable me to, do anything I please, I can read your future, I can change it ‘round some too, I’ll look deep into your heart and soullll… *looks to brian* you do have a soul don’t you Brian? Make your wildest Dreams come true! I got Voodoo, I got hoodoo, I’ve got things I ain’t even tried! And I’ve got friends on the other side…
Brian, Dom, Han, Tej, and Hobbs: He’s got friends on the other side…
Roman: The cards, the cards, the cards will tell…the past the present and the future as well…now you my friend are from across the sea You come from two long lines of royalty, I'm a royal myself on my mother's side, Your lifestyle's hiiiiigh, But your funds are looooow, You need to marry a lil' honey whose daddy got dough! … Mom and dad cut you off, huh playboy? Now y'all gotta get hitched, but hitchin' ties you down, You just wanna be free, Hop from place to place,But freedom... takes green! It's the green, it's the green, it's the green you need, And when I looked into your future, It's the green that I see! … On you little man, I–
Amenadiel : I am a righteous man, of my virtue I am justly proud…
*everyone starts singing the tune of Hellfire from hunchback of notre dame*
Lucifer, Loki, and Luis (X): Et tibi, pater
Amenadiel: Beata Maria, you know I'm so much purer than, The common, vulgar, weak, licentious crowd
Lucifer, Loki, and Luis (X): Quia peccavi nimis
Amenadiel: Then tell me, Maria, why I see her dancing there, Why her smoldering eyes still scorch my soul
Lucifer, Loki, and Luis (X): Cogitatione
Amenadiel: I feel her, I see her, the sun caught in her raven hair, Is blazing in me out of all control
Lucifer, Loki, and Luis (X): Verbo et opre
Amenadiel: Like fire, hellfire, This fire in my skin, This burning desire, Is turning me to siiiiin…It’s not my fault
Lucifer, Loki, and Luis (X): Mea Culpa
Amenadiel: I’m not to blame
Lucifer, Loki, and Luis (X): Mea Culpa
Amenadiel: It is the gypsy girl, the witch who sent this flame
Lucifer, Loki, and Luis (X): Mea Maxima Culpa
Amenadiel: I–
Cody: I know they’re wrong, wait and see….
*everyone from the coruscant group starts singing the tune of Rainbow Connection from the Muppet Movie*
Cody: Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection, The lovers, the dreamers and meee…Who said that every wish, Would be heard and answered, When wished on the morning staaar? Somebody thought of that, And someone believed it, Look what it's done so far–
*back at the bar*
Fives back at the bar: oh. My. God. Today just got even better, not only are we seeing Adelynn have to sing, we’re seeing alt Cody sing a DISNEY SONG *laughing*
Echo: *snort* definitely glad you paid that guy to get a copy of this recording
Jason: that guy is right here, and has a name, but I do have to say I AM liking how this has been going so far
Steve : you know, I have a buddy of mine who would absolutely LOVE this
???: *a random guy in a blazer now suddenly sitting next to Steve* You’re right, I do Love it
Almost everyone there: AH
Steve : Double M! *hugs him* how’re you doing, man!
Double M?: I’m doing great steve, and I taught some more people lessons in song since last time we met up
Steve : That’s my guy!
Tim: okay, where the HELL did you come from??
Charlotte; better question who the fuck are you?!?!
???: that’s a bit complicated–
Deadpool: and it’s going to have to STAY complicated until next chapter, and if you want to know why? The writer couldn’t fit this whole chapter within the Ao3 chapter limit so he had to separate it into two parts
Everyone at the table besides Steve and Double M?: ……what?
Deadpool: It'll make sense in the next chapter, good night everybody!
Notes:
That's right, we got a couple more character introductions! Rebecca Russel/Miss Multiverse aka the SECOND OC that belongs to ME, and this new mysterious "double M?" who will be revealed next time, but now, as always other than Rebecca and steve, all OC credits go to my friend @wifeofnenjolras on wattpad, and until next time, this has been a padjake written story, now, mischief managed!
Chapter 15: THE MULTIVERSAL RIFF-OFF (pt 2/2)
Notes:
This chapter picks up just after the last one, now, as always, all Original Characters but Steve/The Anti-Spectre and now Rebecca Russel/Miss Multiverse, belong to Kaylin Dubois who you can find on wattpad @wifeofenjolras, now on with the chapter!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
*Earth-X*
Deadpool: and we're back!
Charlotte dryly: what do you mean 'back' we haven't gone anywhere, you just made a weird interruption about a chapter?
Deadpool: *sighs* fourth wall things Charlotte, you wouldn't understand, now, you, new guy, who anr what are you? I already know but tell these guys
Music Meister: it's complicated, but they call me the music meister
Jason: …you know we have a villain known as the music meister on our earth…you look almost nothing like him
Music meister; oh, I know, jason todd
Jason: …and you know my name how?
Steve : he’s one of my “heralds” or representatives
Han (solo): Bartender, I’ll have another drink
Christian: yeah, I’m gonna need one too after today
Poe: today has been very confusing, even for us…
Nikki: agreed…what do you mean one of his Heralds?
Steve : each member of the spectral trinity is allowed a couple of heralds or representatives to help them out, I have music meister who came with the job, and another friend of mine who I picked in order to save his life, Becca has a few and Oliver, well…he didn’t realize it yet but he has the multiversal guardians as his heralds and representatives, and we all know there’s a shit ton of those
Sherloque; …so, monsieur meister–I’m sorry you have an actual name or–
Music Meister: like I said, just call me the music meister
Sherloque: right, meister of music, how long have you known monsieur steve?
Steve : like I said before, he came with the job
Music Meister: yeah, and I’ll let you know right now, he’s WAY better than my old boss…is it alright if I stay and watch this?
Steve : I’m not the one running the show, and you know what kind of boss I’ve always been, you can do what you want double M
Music Meister: Fair enough, although you know who else would like this?
Steve and Music Meister at the same time: …Mxy
Music Meister: exactly what I was thinking
Steve : I don’t see why not *snaps his fingers and suddenly in a poof of purple smoke there’s an older man in a suit similar to that of Music Meister’s except with a silvery pocket handkerchief*
Mxy? (Universe-???): And that’s when i told him–*looking around realizes* wait a second, where am I? *sees he’s sitting next to Steve and Music Meister* Double M?! Steve?! Hey guys! *hugs them both* Good to see you guys, but what’s going on? Normally Steve doesn’t poof me away unless he needs help with a prank
Steve : we thought you’d be interested in watching this with us, as well as seeing an old friend *points over to the earth-prime group*
Mxy: Kara?!
Steve : you can go see her after they’re done with this, but for now I think we should probably leave them be so they’re on their A-game
Mxy: that’s true, Kara probably would NOT be happy with me if I was the reason she lost, she is one COMPETITIVE girl
Percy: okay, who in the name of the Gods are YOU?!
Mr. Mxyzptlk: Oh, Where are my manners? My name is Mr. Mxyzptlk, I’m a fifth-dimensional imp turned herald of the Anti-Spectre, well technically I’m still a fifth-dimensional imp, I just don’t live in a fifth-dimension any more, but I’m originally from the fifth-dimension of Earth-Prime
Grover; mr. Mxyzp–what??
Rudy: yeah, you got a nickname compa? Because there’s know way I’m learning that
Mxyzptlk (Universe-Prime): yeah, my friends call me Mxy, feel free to use that if you want
Sirius (6246): Also, I’m sorry you said you knew Kara? How do you know Kara?
Mxyzptlk: let’s just say I’ve been following her adventures for a while, and even joined her team of superfriends for a short period of time, I’m also buddies with her friend from the 31st century, Winn
Sirius (6246): I’m still confused by that part but let’s just move on
Barbara: hang on, doesn’t Superman fight some guy named Mr Mxyzptlk?
Mxy: don’t worry, that’s my doppelgänger, I mean you no harm, uh, bartender, you what do you have to drink?
Christian just going with it: depends, what’s the alcohol tolerance of a fifth-dimensional imp? Are we talking Steve level, Lucifer level, Speedster Level, Loki Level, or just human level?
Mxy: in between Speedster and Lucifer
Christian: So an Asgardian ale cocktail, got it, lucky for us Thor got us a shitton of that after the first battle for the multiverse as a… War gift?
Mxy: okay, that makes sense considering the asgardians’ viking history, but it’s fine, you don’t need to go alcoholic, I’d be fine with just a good root beer
Christian: *pours him a glass off root beer and slides it to him*
Mxy: Thanks! *takes a sip* ooh that’s good, home brewed?
Christian: right here in the Base
Mxy: nice! so tell me, what’ve I missed
Steve : well, what we’re watching is the first ever, multiversal riff-off, and as you can obviously tell we’re in a disney song round
Mxy: interesting, are we taking any bets?
Christian: thirty bucks minimum if you’re interested
Mxy: *slams thirty USD on the counter* thirty dollars on Earth-Prime, and–and I’m sorry are those broadway actors, Aaron and Evelyn Tveit and Ricky Rojas?!
Christian: in some universes
Mxy: …prime tied with X, considering that, and they have GOD
Christian: fair enough, you can add it to the pot next time I reopen the pool, Music Meister, you want in on this?
Music meister: I’m just going to enjoy the show…although just so you know, a couple people from earth-prime MIGHT not be so happy to see me, you’ll see why when this is over, although I'll take a martini
Christian: *makes him a martini*
Rey: ……at this point I’ve learned just not to question things
Jesse; yeah, that’s probably for the best, I learned not to do that after I got kidnapped by an evil speedster my second year of college…and this was BEFORE I became a speedster myself
Chloe under her breath: …Mxyzptlk…I’ll have to ask Louis if he knows that name…
*back with the others*
Deadpool: Amazing disney round guys, really, now for the bonus points, the first one going to Earth-62406, the woody’s group! For their Choreography of rotten to the core!
Gwen under her breath: …definitely glad I got married and ditched that name
Iris: Fuck yeah! …also Fuck you deadpool! *flipping him off*
Deadpool innocently: love you too sugar bear!
Oliver: and for our one of our other bonus point winners we have earth-prime for their take on I’ll make a man out of you, HR, Ray, you style of dueting that song that is normally sung by one person with a chorus, combined with the harmonies of your group is what won you the bonus points, well done
Dick: Alright and for our final winner of the bonus points I am proud to say that it’s going to…Earth-111605! For their special use of the marauders’ and Fred’s ghost physiology, in tandem with Gambit’s Kinetic energy manipulation in order to replicate the effects of Genie poofing, well done to all of you!
Aurora: yes!
Dick: Now, onto a round I personally am looking forward to, Musicals!
Adelynn, Evelyn, Victoire, Aaron, and Ricky: YES
Dick: your sixty seconds starts now!
Jason back at the bar: oh my god, Dickie’s going to sing a musical song!
Barbara: …Jason, PLEASE tell me you have enough Battery on that Camera
Jason: Babs, you offend me, you REALLY think that I Wouldn’ t bring a fully charged camera to make a video to make fun of my dearest older brother Richard
Stephanie: you see, this is why we love you Jace
Kori: could you guys at least maybe go a LITTLE easy on him
Cassandra: nope!
Charlotte: *chokes on her drink* Dickie?
Jason: it’s a family nickname
Poe: hear me out, why the hell doesn’t he just go by Richard, or Richie?
Tim: good question…
Poe: ……are you going to answer it it or–
Stephanie: you having fun da–*slowly as she sees Damian talking with hudson* ...mian?
Damian to hudson: ...interesting, you REALLY built that by yourself…
Hudson: well, I built the gravity boots, I just unlocked and modified the gauntlet mr stark made, but can we go back to the Sword thing, and the fact that YOU HAVE A SWORD?!?!
Damian: of course I do, sure I use the “birdarangs” Grayson and my father had me use them but my personal preference is the sword
Hudson jokingly: Next you’ll tell me you’ve met a dragon!
Damian: *smirking* funny you mention that, I actually have a pet dragon, he's known as Goliath the dragon-bat!
Hudson: YOU HAVE A DRAGON?!
Damian: Yes, we have many animals at Wayne manor, including a dragon, but you mentioned earlier you know how to make weapons?
Hudson: I do from time to time, Why?
Damian: *pulls out a birdarang* what do you think you could do with this?
Hudson: *takes it* …huh, semi lightweight, but with semi-sharp edges, looks like if thrown right it could deal some blunt force trauma, do some cutting, even stab if done right…not bad…*activates his gauntlet and pulls out a small screwdriver and presses a button on the top of the gauntlet causing for a small compartment to open up as he then uses the screwdriver to dislodge what appears to be a small blue glowing piece of metal from the gauntlet and remove it, then closes the gauntlet compartment and deactivates it, then attaches the piece of metal to the birdarang* …don’t worry, what I’m taking out isn’t anything too important to the stability of the gauntlet just a random feature I added in…but here you are *hands over the birdarang* double tap the glowing button on top before you throw it and when it hits its target it’ll send a shockwave through the nervous system completely paralyzing them for a short period of time
Damian: *taking the birdarang puts it away* impressive, I’ll have grayson let you know if it works
Stephanie quietly to Jason: hey, Jace, I know we want to bully Dick but turn the camera because Damian’s actually making a friend outside of the family other than Jon
Jason: wait, what?! *turns the camera to hudson and Damian talking* oh my god, she’s not kidding...*jokingly* baby bat's growing up!
Duke; huh, well that’s a turn I didn’t see coming…well then again, I didn’t see any of this coming, but this might be the most surprising thing that’s happened today
Cassandra: oh noooo, he gave Damian a new weapons upgrade
Jason: …you think he could do that for all of us?
Barbara: …this could either be a VERY good thing, or a VERY bad thing…
Tim: yeah, I’m not sure about that either Babs
*meanwhile with the Earth-prime group*
Kara: alright, what’re we doing?
Barry: …I think I have an idea…do you remember that time we got trapped in a musical?
Kara: yeah i do–you’re not thinking of us doing–
Barry: super friend? Yep
Kara: alright, we’ll save that for a backup considering I’m not sure if they’ll count it if it was a song we’re known for singing,
Barry: fair enough
Kara: and before you ask, don’t worry it’s a simple tune we’ll teach it to you before time runs out
Winn: actually hang on…are we going to get to see a song from when you got trapped in a musical! Oh I’ve been DYING to see this
Kara: *snorts softly* it’s our second choice, remember?
Barry: but for our first choice what’re we thinking?
Caitlin: yeah, Musicals aren’t exactly my specialty, other than disney, but there’s no way they’ll let that slide…Barry, Kara, Ray, Winn, and HR, I think this might be your lead here
Ray: tell me, have you all watched singin’ in the rain?
Cisco: are you kidding me? When Barry was in his depression phase and was crashing at my place temporarily that’s all Barry would watch, so yes I know singin’ in the rain
HR; of COURSE I’ve watched that one!
Caitlin: okay, even I know that one
Ray: good morning? I know the whole choreography?
Barry and HR: so do I!
Sara: and I learned it after that one incident with the baby dominator and little Ray
Winn: did you just say Baby dominator??
Ray: it’s a long story, you know time travel is complicated
Barry: …right…
Kara; okay, well we know the number traditionally is two men and a woman so…Sara, Ray, and who’s our third?
HR: Barry, that’s easily the best option
Barry: alright then, I’ll do it
Winn: alright, we have our picks
Kara; alright then, that means until we run out of time, we’re teaching you the tune to super friend, quickly, in case if it’s needed
*with the Earth-X Group*
Lucifer: alright, now for this round, I say we let our resident stage actors take over leading for this round
Evelyn: I thought you would never ask, okay, who here has watched “Moulin Rouge!”?
*everyone raises their hands*
Aaron: to be fair it is one of the most popular resistance stage musicals
Ricky: fair enough, but what’re you thinking, ev?
Evelyn: Shut Up and Raise your glass?
Lucifer: splendid choice! Alright, so for you three we have you reprising your roles as Christian, Satine, and Santiago, now for the rest of the roles I suppose I can take Lautrec, and the rest of you can take the ensemble, any questions?
Aaron: You?! A Bohemian?! No offense Lucifer buuuut…Actually hang on…that’s actually not a bad casting…eh, could be worst, let’s take it, and what’s our back up?
Lucifer: …what about My Shot from Lin’s show, the one about the old American founding fathers, what was it…Hamilton?
Aaron: oh, that’s a GOOD pull, who’s our Hamilton…?
Evelyn: welllll, since Luci’s the oldest thing here other than Amenadiel…Luci?
Lucifer: very funny, although we both know rap isn’t exactly my expertise…although I DID meet the real Alexander hamilton, he is most certainly in hell I can tell you that
Evelyn: ...huh…well, alright, you make a point…I’d say either Amenadiel, Bart, or Luis then, because we all know Luis and Bart our best rappers in the group
Lucifer: well to be fair, you haven’t heard Amenadiel…alright, how about this, Luis, you be our Hamilton, Amenadiel, you’re our Laurens, for Lafayette, I’d say…either Loki or Aaron, who wants it?
Aaron immediately: I’ll do it!
Bart: And I can take Mulligan!
Lucifer: and that just leaves our Burr…Doctor, have you watched Hamilton yet?
The Doctor: I should have you know Lucifer that I watched hamilton before any of you did…well technically after since it was in the far future, and on top of that I’ve met the ACTUAL Aaron Burr, he wasn’t that bad of a gent, honestly
Lucifer: splendid, the part’s yours if it comes down to it, now we have our plan, let’s do this!
*With Iris’ 62406 group*
Iris; alright, what’re we doing, we already know Earth-X is going to do something from Moulin Rouge! As is Coruscant considering Coruscant has Obi-Wan, and Earth-X has Evelyn, Aaron, and that Ricky guy, and even then there’s a chance Vic convinces her group to do it, so Moulin Rouge! is Off. the. Table. But what else could we do…
Ronnie: …I’d like to advertise now the only one that I know songs from is Hamilton…unless we count movie musicals then I know maybe three others…and disney, but there’s no way we’re doing that twice in a row
Leo: what about Alexander Hamilton then?
Iris: alright, that could work, but who’s going to be our Hamilton? Because unfortunately Freddie got drafted to the other team…actually wait what if Freddie convinces his team to do Hamilton??
Leo: if he does…I say we fight it! Earths prime and X got MAJOR style points when they entered duel mode, if we do the same, same will happen to us
Ronnie: are you crazy?! If it were any other song maybe it would be a good idea, but ALEXANDER HAMILTON?! You do realize that if either team messes up, BOTH TEAMS get eliminated, not just one, do you know how RECKLESS we’d have to be to try this?!
Holly: oh they know, but what you don’t realize is literally everyone on this team is a gryffindor…
Ronnie: and that means what exactly? Remember while Hogwarts exists in my home universe, and there’s no statute of secrecy, I’m an American born No-Maj
Dominique: it means we’re all the definition of reckless
Ronnie: oh god…
Iris: also you can’t talk “mr I flew into a black hole”!
Everyone else in the group other than Leo; YOU WHAT?!?!
Ronnie: how the HELL did you know about that?!
Iris: it’s how your earth-prime doppelganger died, and I started watching the flash tv show after meeting barry, because I wanted to learn more about what the fuck was going on, and it happened in there too…and you died in there too…so there was a 50/50 chance
Ronnie: hang on, how do you know that’s how my doppelganger died??
Iris: because that show, combined with the other “arrowverse” shows, seems to be one hundred percent accurate to how earth-prime is, according to Oliver…that And Leo told me, although I haven’t exactly started any of the other ones…it’s a work in progress
Leo: IRIS!!
Ronnie: and you know this because how??
Leo: ……Caitlin told me…
Ronnie; …oh…
Holly: maybe we get back to the point, if someone does it, we don’t let it go further, we challenge…
Ronnie: I guess we might as well go down fighting I guess…who’s who?
Louis: alright, well our hamilton either has to be Jamie or Aidan, considering Eliza is also in this song and they’re the only ones with significant others in this group
Leo: that makes sense…
Aidan: N–
James Sirius immediately: NOT IT, HA, SUCK IT AIDAN
Aidan sighing dryly: you’re lucky that I have that song burned into my brain thanks to Iris, and just having been around Vic…and Dom…
Dominique just agreeing: fair enough
Aidan: so, what’s the game plan for everyone else
Iris: well Like leo Just pointed out I’m Eliza, and don’t think you’re getting out of this Jamie, you’re getting Laurens, who’s gonna be Jefferson?
James Sirius under his breath: dammit…
Louis: *sighs* I’ll do it
Iris: thank you for stepping up Louis, alright, Madison?
Leo: I’ll do it
Iris: alright, now for our Aaron Burr….Grandpa Sirius?
Sirius: alright, I’ll do it…
Iris: and finally that leaves George Washington, and who better to represent America’s first president other than our group’s ONLY American, Ronnie, you up for it?
Ronnie: what the hell, me, my Caity, and Frost had a bet going assuming that we’d get separated, meaning and all three of us are competitive, meaning we’ll do whatever it takes to win
Louis cheerfully: just like the weasleys!
Leo: okay, so that’s a thing with both caitlins then?
Iris innocently: …what do you mean BOTH caitlins, what have you done competitive with your caitlin?
Leo: Well, on our last date in her universe, she and I went on a double date with Barry and his Iris, to a trivia night at this cafe that she told me about, Jitters?
Iris dryly: wait WHAT?! Leo Regulus Weasley, You know DAMN well I called dibs on getting the first double date with you guys!
Leo: …uhhhh…you can still get first double date in the weasley cousins?
Iris; *lightly glaring at him* …We’re coming back to this later, but moving on, Ronnie, you’re George Washington if the role is needed, got it?
Ronnie; got it…
*with Freddie’s 62406 group*
Freddie: alright, uncle james, I know you’re technically leading the group, but I’m saying we do alexander hamilton
James (62406): Considering it’s one of the few musical songs I know, I agree with that statement, who’s playing who?
Victoire: wait, why can’t we do “moulin rouge!”?
Freddie: who here knows songs from moulin rouge!?
*everyone but James, Frost and Ginny raises their hands*
Frost: yeah, Caity doesn’t know many musicals, and keep in mind, I didn’t have my own body until about a month ago, and yeah, while we DID SHARE custody of our body, I didn’t go out of my way for musicals
Victoire: dammit!
Freddie: alright, I can take Hamilton, Gwen, you’re getting Eliza, Uncle James, you’re getting James Madison, Dad, John Laurens, uncle Fred, George Washington, and now’s when things get tricky…and then for aunt gin, I think you should be able to handle Jefferson, aunt Angie, Burr, and that’s the last part needed…and as for everyone else ensemble and acapella the tune, with everyone when you’re not singing Lines, you’re singing acapella, any questions? Good! Now let’s do this!
*back at the bar*
Jason: Oh my god, Dickie’s doing the musical round
Tim in spanish: ...y luego Talia al Ghul lo trajo de nuevo a la vida, y esa es la historia de cómo Jason se convirtió en la capucha roja–Wait, WHAT?! (And then Talia al Ghul brought him back to life, that’s the story of how Jason became the red hood)
Stephanie: Jason, if there was ever a moment for that camera to stay alive, now would be the time
Jason; don’t worry, I grabbed the camera with the Good battery, it’s still fully charged
Barbara: *snorts* and this is what happens when Dick doesn’t invite us to things until the last minute, and only to watch
Jason: at least he invited us all to the dnd thing
Cassandra: *chokes on air* WHAT?!?!
Jason: did he not?
Tim: no?!
Jason: …maybe he just hasn’t had a chance to talk to you about it yet?
Stephanie dryly: for his sake let's hope he hasn’t and meant to tell us later, but either way, we’re definitely bullying dick for this later
Duke: …do you ever get used to all of this
All of the bat family members: yes
Sirius(6246): …so how new ARE you exactly to all of this?
Duke: Well Bruce took me in after the Joker gassing incident, about seven months before he died, and he died about two months ago, so I’m about…nine months into supering?
Jaime; oh wow, you’re newer to this than I am…I’ve been in this for about a year and a half
Duke: so…wait, are you the youngest in this multiverse group–thing? Or I guess hudson would–
Hudson: unfortunately I’m not a guardian, so it’s not me
Jaime: and I’m not the youngest in the group
Percy: yeah, that’d go to me and Annabeth being seventeen soon to be eighteen
Duke: oh hey, we’re the same age!
Percy: nice!
Han (solo); …why am I here?
Charlotte innocently: because you like spending time with your kids?
Han (Solo) jokingly sarcastic: oh yeah, THAT…
Tim: hey, guys! Dick’s started the round already!
Dick: *singing the lyrics of Singin’ in the Rain* What a gloooorius Feeeeling, I’m happy Again! I'm laughing at clouds, So–
Aaron singing: Oh don’t you dare look back, just keep your eyes on me, She said “you’re holding back” She said
Evelyn: Shut up and dance with me
Aaron: This woman is my destiny
Evelyn: She said shut up and dance with–
Deadpool: HOLD ON, STOP THE MUSIC
Victoire: Noooooooo
Freddie quietly: I know your theater kid heart wanted to keep seeing them do that song, you have to realize that they’re one of the best teams here, and this might be a chance for them to get out if that’s why wade is stopping it, making things SIGNIFICANTLY easier on us
Evelyn: *groaning* What deadpool?? We were just doing a song! One no one had done yet! So that’s not an elimination!
Deadpool dryly: oh BULLSHIT, I know what song you were going to do, you were about to do Shut up and Raise your glass!
Evelyn dryly: yeah, and?
Deadpool: I say we eliminate them for using a song they’re WELL KNOWN FOR PERFORMING, ON SEVERAL EARTHS
Evelyn dryly: oh BULLSHIT, Wade!
Dick: I don’t really see how that matters
Deadpool: it COMPLETELY Matters, Birdbrain! Using your own song for a riff off is just Tacky and Lazy writing!
Aaron: uhhh, what the hell does that mean “lazy writing”
Deadpool: you wouldn’t get it thundercrack
Dick: I say they stay
Deadpool: alright then, Ollie, what’s it gonna be? Are they out? Or Are they in?
Oliver thinking about it: …the way I see it…they’re just using the tools they have in their arsenal, they happen to have three musical performers who’ve performed that song, then they can do it, and same goes for anyone else if they’re known for anything musical and wish to perform it
Evelyn: YES!!! FUCK YOU DEADPOOL!! *flips him off then hi fives Aaron and Ricky*
*Kara and barry nod in agreement*
Kara under her breath to the others from earth-prime: we’re switching to super-friend
Deadpool: *groans* so we’re going with the Lazy writing approach, fine!
Steve from the bar using his powers to amplify his voice: yeah, he wrote a whole song for me and we were originally one hundred and sixteen pages into a google doc at this point and have sixteen rounds after this one! I’d hardly call that lazy!
Deadpool: SHUT IT STEVE…alright, let’s get back to it shall we?
Dick: right, so in the event that something like this, the team that was last singing would start the song they were singing from the beginning, and we’ll go from there, sound good? Take it away Earth-X
Aaron now smirking singing: Oh don’t you dare look back, just keep your eyes on me, She said “you’re holding back” She said
Evelyn: Shut up and dance with me
Aaron: This woman is my destiny, she said
Evelyn: ooh, ooh, shut up and dance with me!
*Evelyn and Aaron then start doing the choreography to shut up and raise your glass , while the others start singing the melody*
Lucifer: So raise your glass if you are wrong, in all the right ways, all my underdogs
Lucifer and Ricky: We will never be, never be, anything but loud, and nitty gritty dirty little freaks, so won’t you come on and, come on and
Everyone from Earth-X: raise your glass! Just come on and, come on and Raise your glass!
Aaron and Evelyn: We were victims of the night, The chemical, physical, Kryptonite, Helpless to the bass and the fading light, Oh, we were bound to get together, Bound to get together
Aaron: She took my arm, I don't know how it happened,We took the floor and she said
Aaron and Evelyn: Oh, don't you dare look back, just keep your eyes on me, I said you’re holding back
Everyone from Earth-X: Ooh, ooh, Shut up and Dance with me
Aaron: this woman is my destiny, she said Ooh, ooh, shut up and dance with me
Everyone from Earth-X: ooh, ooh, shut up and dance with me, ooh, ooh, shut up and dance with me!
Aaron and Evelyn: Slam, slam, Oh, hot damn, What part of party don't you understand,We should just freak out
Everyone from Earth-X: Can't stop, Coming in hot , I–
Barry tap dancing: I’m your super friend, superfriend
*the others from earth-prime start singing the tune to Super Friend by Melissa Benoist & Grant Gustin*
Barry: I'll be there in the nick of time, If you're ever in a spot
Kara: *tap dancing with him* And if I am not there in time, I can just go back in time, And give it another shot *they stop tap dancing*
Barry: I'm actually not supposed—
Kara: not to do that any more, yep, but it’s still in the lyrics so…
Barry: sing! *the two start tap dancing again*
Kara: I'm your super friend, Superfriend
Barry: When you need a compliment, I can rattle off a dozen, For instance, I have to say I'm not impressed, By your more famous cousin… *the two stop tap dancing*
Kara: Thank you! No one EVER says that!
Barry: He’s all like, "Oh, I'm Superman, whoop-dee whoop-dee doo!
Kara: *snorts* that’s still a really good impression
Barry: thanks!
*the two start tap dancing again, doing the choreography for super friend*
Kara and Barry singing in unison: I’m your super friend, superfriend
Kara: When it comes to buddies, pal, you're the best
Barry: I love you more than the lightning bolt I wear on my chest
Kara: If you're ever sad, I'll bring you flowers
Barry: and you can list “soprano” as one of your powers
Kara: If you’re ever broke
Barry: I’ve got the cash
Kara: On my couch
Barry: You’re welcome to crash
Kara: and if you ever need help
Barry: I’ll be there in a flash
Kara: Barry!
Barry: what? it rhymed!
Barry and Kara: I’m your super that has a double meaning Friiieeeeeend
Albus; I’m just glad to be your friend
*everyone from Teddy’s Earth-62406 group starts singing the tune of “ Sincerely, Me ” from Dear Evan Hansen*
Albus: I’m just glad to be your friend
Albus and Scorpius: Our friendship goes beyond, your average kind of bond,
Albus: But not because we’re gay
Scorpius: no, not because we’re gay
Albus and Scorpius: We're close, but not that way, The only man that I love is my dad
Scorpius: well anyway!
Albus: You’re getting better every day
Scorpius: I’m getting better every day!
Scorpius and Albus: Keep getting better everyday
Everyone from that group: Hey! Hey! Hey! Cause all that it takes is a–
Sirius (62406) cutting in: An orphan, son of a whore, and a scotsman, dropped in a middle of a forgotten Spot in the Caribbean by providence, impoverished, in squalor, Grow up to be a hero and a scholar?
*everyone from Iris’-62406 group starts singing alexander hamilton from Hamilton*
George (62406): The ten-dollar Founding Father without a father, Got a lot farther by working a lot harder, By being a lot smarter, by being a self-starter, By fourteen, they placed him in charge of a trading charter
*everyone from Freddie’s 62406 group starts singing Alexander Hamilton from Hamilton*
Louis and Ginny in unison: And every day while slaves were being slaughtered and carted
Away across the waves, he struggled and kept his guard up, Inside, he was longing for something to be a part of, The brother was ready to beg, steal, borrow, or barter
Leo and James(62406) : Then a hurricane came, and devastation reigned, Our man saw his future drip, dripping down the drain, Put a pencil to his temple, connected it to his brain, And he wrote his first refrain, a testament to his pain
Sirius (62406) and Angelina: Well, the word got around, they said, "This kid is insane, man"
Took up a collection just to send him to the mainland, "Get your education, don't forget from whence you came, and, The world's gonna know your name, what's your name, man?"
Aidan and Freddie: Alexander Hamilton, My name is Alexander Hamilton, And there's a million things I haven't done, But just you wait, just you wait
Iris and Gwen: When he was ten his father split, full of it, debt-ridden, Two years later, see Alex and his mother bed-ridden, Half-dead sittin' in their own sick, the scent thick
Everyone from both groups except for Freddie and Aidan: And Alex got better, but his mother went quick
Ronnie and Fred (62406): Moved in with a cousin, the cousin committed suicide, Left him with nothin' but ruined pride, something new inside, A voice sayin'
Everyone from both groups: Alex you’ve gotta fend for yourself
Ronnie and Fred (62406): He started retreatin' and readin' every treatise on the shelf
Sirius (62406) and Angelina: There would have been nothin' left to do for someone less astute, He woulda been dead or destitute without a cent of restitution, Started workin', clerkin' for his late mother's landlord, Tradin' sugar cane and rum and all the things he can't afford
Everyone from Both groups: Scammin’
Sirius (62406) and Angelina: for every book he can get his hands on
Everyone from Both Groups: Plannin’
Sirius (62406) and Angelina: for the future see him now as he stands on
Everyone other than Sirius (62406) and Angelina: ooh
Sirius (62406) and Angelina: The bow of a ship headed for a new land, In New York, you can be a new man
Everyone other than Aidan and Freddie and Aidan and Freddie: In New York, you can be a new man
Aidan and Freddie: Just you wait
Everyone other than Aidan and Freddie: In New York, you can be a new man
Aidan and Freddie: Just you wait
Everyone other than Aidan and Freddie: In New York, you can be a new man
All of the Women in the groups: New york!
All of the Men in the group other than Aidan and Freddie: New york!
Aidan and Freddie: JUST YOU WAIIIIT
Everyone but Aidan and Freddie: Alexander Hamilton, Alexander Hamilton, We are waiting in the wings for you, Waiting in the wings for you, You could never back down, You never learned to take your time, Oh, Alexander Hamilton, Alexander Hamilton, When America sings for you, Will they know what you overcame? Will they know you rewrote the game? The world will never be the same, oh
Sirius (62406) and Angelina: the ship is in the harbor now see if you can spot him
All of the Men in the groups other than Aidan and Freddie: just you wait…
Sirius (62406) and Angelina: another immigrant now, comin’ up from the bottom
Everyone in the groups other than Aidan and Freddie: Just you wait…
Sirius (62406) and Angelina: His enemies destroyed his rep, America forgot him
James, Leo, Ginny and Louis: We, fought with him,
James Sirius and George(62406): Me? I died for him
Ronnie and Fred (62406): me? I trusted him
Iris and Gwen: Me? I loved him
Sirius (62406) and Angelina: and me? I’m the damn fool that shot him
Everyone in the group: There's a million things I haven't done, But just you waiiiiit
Sirius (62406) and Angelina: What’s your name man?
Everyone in the group: ALEXANDER HAMILTON!
Dick: …wow…great work, honestly, to both teams, now, obviously Teams one and three of Earth-62406 will be receiving style points for their outstanding performance of of Alexander Hamilton, but now, if you’ll excuse us to discuss which team will be receiving the last of the bonus points for this round…*the three judges huddle up*
Deadpool: ……can we all at least agree that group that did the song from the one musical about the kid who offed himself and the kid who came up with an elaborate plan to make it seem like they were good friends to sleep with the dead kid’s sister doesn’t have a horse in this race?
Dick dryly: you know you could’ve just said the one from dear evan hansen, or sincerely, me, or even just saying Teddy’s group?
Deadpool innocently: you’re not answering the question og boy in green bootyshorts
Dick: *sighing* …you’re not wrong, the two choices really are between X and Prime
Deadpool: I say we give it to Speedy’s group, I like that he and Superblondie managed to Make fun of the Big blue boyscout in their song, plus it was original–well semi-orignal, they only ever performed it one other time
Dick: while the first thing might not have been necessary to point out, I agree, it was originally, plus, did you SEE that choreography with Barry and Kara, the tap dancing, the way they danced together with that perfect dip at the end…there’s no topping that for me
Deadpool teasingly: *snorts* nerd!
Oliver; it sounds like then we’re in agreement
*they break the huddle*
Oliver: we’ve come to an agreement…the bonus points go to…Earth-Prime
Dick: for their well done choreography, Barry, Kara, Well done you two, really, I mean it when I say that was some of the best tap dancing I’ve ever seen
Stephanie teasingly from the Bar: Watch your compliments! You’re engaged Dickie! Remember?! No trying to bag other women!
Jason teasingly: she’s right Dick! Especially not one of your exes!
Kori: *elbowing her* stephanie, you know well he didn’t mean anything like that
Dick blushing slightly dryly: SHUT IT YOU TWO!! AND IT WAS ONLY ONE DATE!!
Stephanie: Oh I know, but you know I just love teasing him
Jason: same here!
Deadpool: ……I know we just met, but I think you and I are going to be good friends! Oh also, back to the point, I gave it to you because nice work insulting the big blue boyscout
Oliver; moving on…from now on, we will not be announcing who gets bonus points, it will only be revealed at the end if the event of a tie happens, but now for the Disco round, you have sixty seconds starting now!
*Back at the Bar*
Stephanie: ugh, if it’s alright with you guys, I’m not the biggest fan of disco so I vote we just talk through this one
Barbara: seconded!
Tonks (62406): agreed!
Tim: okay, but Dick DID have a point with saying that that song the Earth-Prime group did was GREAT
Mxyzptlk: Agreed! Fantastic, might I add
Music Meister: yeah, and this time people actually get to see it…you know I’m actually the reason that number exists, right?
Charlotte: what the hell are you talking about? THEY’RE the ones who just came up with it
Music Meister: you’re right, they did, although they didn’t JUST come up with it…they came up with it while being prompted to, in the shared musical dream, in the Coma I put them in
Everyone at the bar except for Steve , Music Meister, Mxyzptlk, Han, Leia, and Luke: YOU WHAT?!?!
Harry (Wells): that was YOU?!?!
Jesse: wait you knew about that dad?!
Harry (Wells): yes, HR told me about it, but that’s besides the point
Hudson slowly: ……you put…SUPERGIRL…In a COMA?!?! The only one who’s ever been able to do that on our earth is Brainiac!!
Duke: better question WHY would you put them into a coma
Music Meister: simple, they needed to learn a lesson
Tim: and that was?
Music Meister; Forgiveness…well in Kara’s case anyway, it’s a long story, but the sum of it was that Kara was breaking up with her ex over a lie that he told her, one that was told because he was scared if she found out who his parents were she’d hate him forever considering his parents were the dictator king and queen of the planet Daxam—
Tim: who the Kryptonians were well known for hating
Music Meister: exactly, and in Barry’s case, again another long story, but Barry was able to put his worries about his future aside and they both realized that their relationships were worth saving
Cassandra: …….what the hell??
Music meister: oh, for context, Barry spent a whole season freaking out because he found out that season’s big bad, Savitar, the so-called god of speed was going to kill Iris in their future
Most of the Bar: WHAT?!?!
Music Meister: yep, and it led to him making some less than great decisions in an effort to change the future
Cassandra: …uh-huh…and you taught them this lesson in musical format, because?
Music Meister; oh, you see, the dreams used to be up to the person who was in the coma, Barry and Kara ended up in a musical due to their shared history with them, but after that I found out I really liked doing the musical thing, so it kind of became my whole motif after that
Finn: uh-huh…and you did all this…Why?!
Music Meister: because, it’s like I told them, I believe in the good guys! And that love should ALWAYS win
Christian: ……okay, but considering you forced them into this, without much explanation I’m guessing–
Music Meister casually: yes, that’s right
Christian: –you know that’s kind of fucked up, right?
Music Meister: What?! No! Don’t worry! They were fine! AND, it worked! Barry ended up marrying Iris, and Kara got back together with her at the time boyfriend, now ex because of some weird complicated things involving him getting sent to the far future
Han (solo): …I’m understanding none of this
Annabeth: ……and we’re sure this was the best way to do this?
Music Meister: I mean…it did the Job didn’t it?
Grover: That's not exactly answering the question…
Music Meister: Well EXCUSE ME for doing my job!
Kate: what the hell is your Job?!
Music Meister: well My Job is to teach people lessons in methods of chaos, which I normally do through a sort of hypnosis, but now I do with a sort of musical hypnosis, that knocks them out and puts whoever needs to be taught a lesson in a sort of induced, sometimes shared, coma dream, that since them has always been a musical
Jaime to Steve : …….And he works for you?
Steve : yes, although I should note, he worked for previous anti-spectre before working for me, and he got to Barry and Kara, BEFORE I became the anti-spectre
Music Meister: I told you it was complicated
Rudy: hold on there, you said you went by the Music Meister, AFTER meeting Speedy and Supergirl, what did you go by BEFORE then??
Music Mesiter: that’s not important
Steve : *sees Jeff gently pulling out a piece of paper with his mouth from Dogpool’s suit pocket and tries to give it to him* what’s that you got there buddy? *takes it from him and reads it* …Either that or the writer didn’t know what his actual name was in the CW continuity…the timing of these two is impeccable…
Sirius (6246): what the hell does that mean??
Steve : not important
Percy: well these ARE Deadpool's pets, I guess it makes sense that they DON’T make sense…
Jason: oh thank god the disco round is over, I’m betting Dick was loving it though
Sherloque: …what is that supposed to mean, monsieur Todd?
Jason: …someone show him the discowing outfit…
Tim: on it…
Sherloque: what is the Dico–
Tim: *shows Sherloque a picture on his phone of the Discowing outfit*
Sherloque: What in the name of GOD is that…
Tim: That my fellow detective friend…is the Discowing costume
Harry (Wells): it can’t be–*looks at it* –oh GOD…and he actually went out in that?
Percy: who went out in–Is that DICK?!?!
Charlotte: *looks at the costume and dies in laughter*
Sirius (6246): what’re you all–*looks at the picture* ohhh, you’re talking about Dick’s old nightwing costume, yeah it definitely was a piece of work…
Nikki: *looks at the costume then back at Sirius* you knew about this?
Sirius (6246): yeah, believe it or not, I know a decent chunk about superhero stuff, not as much as the other two, but I did go on a bit of a comic dive after first discovering them
Nikki: huh…married for three years and you STILL find new ways to surprise me
Rey: is the costume really that Bad?
Sherloque: see of yourself *hands the phone to Rey*
Rey: oh…why is the “V” so Deep?!
Stephanie: that is a question we’ve ALL been asking
Kori: I don’t know, I don’t think it looked THAT bad
Tim dryly: you’re just saying that because you’re his fiance it shows off his chest
Kori blushing slightly: No I-Uhhhh
Barbara: leave her alone Tim
Jaime: do I even want to see how bad this thing was?
Every member of the batfamily: no
Hudson: well I do, mostly because I need to see how bad the costume was, and what NOT to do when I eventually make my own Iron suit
Rey: *passes the phone over*
Damian: I don’t think you’ll want to see that Hudson, trust me for the sake of your eyes, I wouldn’t look at Grayson’s previous fashion choices
Hudson: it can’t be–JESUS CHRIST, WHY?!?!
Constantine: oh what are you all on about?? *looks at it* oh, wait this is about THAT nightwing costume? Honestly, I don’t see why he got all the hate for it, I personally didn’t think it looked all that bad on him
Stephanie in shock: REALLY?!?!
Zatanna; okay to be fair, No Woman, or non-straight man thought it looked bad on him…
Stephanie; ……I want to die right now, I’m ready to die right now
Jason: oh, wait the Next round’s started already–and It’s DCOM?!
Sherloque: ehhh, what is this, DCOM you speak of?
Duke: Disney Channel Original Movie
Echo: and of course Adelynn makes sure to get a song where she only has to say one line
Fives: DAMMIT…
*meanwhile back with the riff off*
*earth-62406 group 1 singing “ Do what you gotta do ” from descendants 3*
Sirius (62406): Listen, little girl, You're talking to a god, And I don’t wanna hear the drama, Kindness ain't my brand
Iris: oh, I guess that’s why you ran
Sirius (62406): Try being married to your mama!
Iris: You stink at being a dad!
Sirius (62406): Poor Mali, are you sad?
Iris: Not as sad as you without your powers, I didn’t come to fight, For once, do something right
Sirius (62406): I steal souls, were you expecting flowers?
Iris: I only need you 'cause I came here for something
Sirius (62406): I've given you everything
Sirius (62406) and Iris in unison: BY GIVING YOU/ME NOTHING
Sirius (62406): I DID what I had to do
Ali: ooh-oooh-ooh
Iris: No, you only did what’s best for you
Sirius (62406): Well, you could learn a thing or two
Ali: Ooh-ooh-ooh
Sirius (62406): When push comes to shove, You do what you gotta do, yeah,
Iris: You were never there, Guess you don't have a phone, You never called to say "I miss you"
Sirius (62406): Ha ha ha, are you kidding? Is this a joke? You need to let it go, You're stronger with those daddy issues
Iris: Oh! Thank you!
Sirius (62406): Show me some respect, It ain't easy to neglect, My attention would've made you softer
Iris: Ooh-hoo! Should I be proud? Don’t turn this thing around
Sirius (62406): I guess you are your father’s daughter, ha, ha, ha
Iris: Don't think I need you, I just came here for something
Sirius (62406): I’ve given you everything
Iris and Sirius (62406): by giving you/me nothing
Roman cutting in: we’re All in this together– wait a second, why the hell didn’t anyone join me?!
Hobbs dryly: because you did this in the WORST possible Time, you IDIOT, remember, my daughter’s the oldest of all of our kids, meaning I’ve had to sit through more disney than any of you, I TOLD you guys I should’ve headed this round!
Deadpool: Unfortunately for you guys baldy here is right, and because of it, you all are out!
Mia: Dammit Roman!
Deadpool: that’s right, you’re all out, now if you could please go take the walk of shame join the losers and audience members over at the bar
*they all reluctantly leave towards the Bar*
Dick; now, onto the next round we have the Love song round!
*meanwhile back in the Bar*
Christian: and with that more people have joined the bar crew, and I’m reopening the betting pool to the new people joining us and allowing for betting changes! Alright, Mxy you already said thirty on prime and X
Mxy: make it Prime, X, and that group with Sirius black and his granddaughter
Christian: got it
Roman: ooh, I’ll get in on that action, same bet, but, let’s make thing a little wild, add in the team with the ghost squad
Christian: alright, just so you know, it’s a thirty buck minimum
Roman: *slams the cash on the table*
Hudson: nice bet! I should know, I made the same one
Roman: ……is it too late to change that bet?
Christian: yes.
Hudson: Hey! What? Just because you found out a kid made the same bet as you, you choose to change it
Roman: YES
Hudson: ……alright, I didn’t want to do this until later on, BUT, just to prove a point, *pulls out his wallet and slams down another twenty bucks* …since I just got paid for the month, I’m adding on another twenty to my initial bet
Snart calmly: doubling down? Alright, I guess I’m doing the same *puts down another twenty dollars*
Wally: wow Snart you are giving this kid a LOT of trust
Snart: what can I say West, sometimes the best things come from the places you least expect it
Hudson: …I’m not sure if I should take that as an insult or a compliment
Brian: also can we back up a second, who the hell are the new guys here??
Steve : oh, these are my friends
Mxy: the name’s Mr. Mxyzptlk, but please, call me Mxy
Music Meister: and you can call me the Music Meister
Tej: …that has to be easily the STUPIDEST codename I’ve ever heard
Music Meister: hey!
Steve : alright, alright, calm down, we’re missing the round
Christian: are there any other bets?
Brian: I’m good
Dom: same here
Ramsey: you know what, I’ll take a piece of the action *puts down thirty dollars* I’ll put it all on Earth-X
Christian: alright, final bets going once…going twice…aaand the bets are closed
Dogpool: *barking at Steve *
Steve : what’s going o–*notices jeff holding another piece of paper* okay, how’s he doing that without ripping it? *takes it* …and once again you guys talked through most of another round because the writer got lazy and didn’t feel like medleying songs because it was a pain in tha ass…how do you TIME THIS?!?!
Stephanie: Better question: are these dogpool’s cards or deadpool’s…
*jeff pulls out another card f rom dogpool’s pocket*
Steve : *takes it* ……Yes…okay…how much space does she have in those pockets?!?!
*jeff pulls out another card from dogpool’s pocket*
Steve : *reads it* …Hammer…what does that-oh–OH are you KIDDING ME?!?!
Tim: what the hell does that mean??
Mxyzptlk: right, do you know what Hammerspace is?
Tim: …you mean that thing how cartoons can reach behind their backs and pull out and put away infinite amounts of things–no…that’s not real?!
Music Meister: *laughing* oh, if you’re caught off guard by that, just wait until things go further with these guys…now shush, Oliver’s about to announce the next round…
*back with the others participating in the riff off*
Oliver: for this coming round we have our first ATG round, we have three, one for each Judge, ATG in this case stands for AnyThing Goes, meaning you can do any song, no restrictions, but there are a couple of caveats to this…for one, this round goes until someone messes up, that’s right, this is a guaranteed elimination round, someone WILL be heading over to the Bar after this round, now here are the rules, as I previously stated, you can do any song without restrictions, any song you use will not be off limits for the next two rounds like how it is when you use it in other rounds, the only thing is that once a song is used in this round, it’s off the board to use, in this round, you will have no prep time, I’ll just start the round and one of you will have to cut in, and the others in your group will just have to follow the lead of whoever cuts in, as previously stated, if a team slips up, they’re eliminated, and the round ends, if we get to a point where all teams go, we’ll loop back around with whichever team cut in first, and in the same progressing order, if a team fails to cut in by the time the team going finishes and it was their turn in that progressing order they will be eliminated, are there any question? No? Good, Dick, Wade, get us started
*they start singing the tune of Centuries by Fall Out Boy*
Oliver; Some legends are told, Some turn to dust or to gold, But you will remember me, Remember me for centuries, And just one–
Sirius (111605): One man, one goal, Ha, one mission, One heart, one soul, Just one solution, One flash of light, Yeah, one god, one vision
*the rest of the Earth-111605 group starts singing the tune of One Vision by Queen*
Sirius (111605) and Aurora in unison: One flesh, one bone, one true religion, One voice, one hope, one real decision, Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Give me one vision, yeah…
*back at the bar*
Stephanie: damnnnn, a GUARANTEED elimination round, I did NOT see that coming, well played dickie…Alright, Christian, get your pad ready since this round is about to add on a new batch of Losers
Christian: oh, it already is
Bobby: this has definitely been interesting to watch so far, but I’m telling you guys, it’s going to be Earth-X taking it all
Hudson: as much as I’d like to believe that considering Aunt ev, uncle a, uncle ricky, Lucifer, Morgan, and Literal GOD are on our team…I’m sorry to have to tell you, it’s GOING to be a tie
Snart: now thinking about it more and more and given what i’ve seen, I’d say anything is possible, so I stick with my plan to go with the kid’s bet
Bobby: you’re going to end up regretting that Leo, I guess it’s time to see which Ice themed resistance member has the better foresight
Echo dryly: it’s Snart
Fives: ……sorry love, but we don’t need to find out the results of this bet to know he’s telling the truth on that one
Bobby: …okay, that stings a little coming from you, but I guess that’s fair…but regardless! We’ll see who’s bet is right at the end of this
Fives; I SAID SORRY!!!
Mxyzptlk: *snaps his fingers and in a puff of blue smoke suddenly there’s a giant comical sign that says “Go Earth-Prime! …and Earth-X(in smaller font)” standing next to the Bar
Hudson: …why is the Earth-X part in a smaller font than prime?!
Tim: *snorts loudly* I think we know who Mxy’s going for
Mxyztplk: to answer your question Hudson, X is in a smaller font because while I know they’re going to win, I will always go for earth-prime…but I also make correct bets 90% of the time, which is why I put in for both Prime AND X…X reluctantly, no offense guys, but I have a good friend on team prime
Hudson: alright, that’s fair…
Susan: *smiling slightly* Grandfather’s doing Piano Man, I love that song
*back with the riff off with Earth-X singing Piano Man by Billy Joel*
The Doctor: ……He says, "Son, can you play me a memory? I'm not really sure how it goes, But it's sad and it's sweet and I knew it complete, When I wore a younger man's clothes" La, la-la, di-dee-da, La-la, di-dee-da, da-dum…Sing us a song, you're the piano man, Sing us a song tonight, Well, we're all in the mood for a melody, And you–
Rex cutting in: You can't live with 'em, you can't live without 'em, There's somethin' irresistible-ish about 'em, We grin and bear it 'cause the nights are long, I hope that somethin' better comes along
*the Coruscant group starts singing the tune of I hope that somethin’ better comes along From the Muppet Movie with Adelynn frowning slightly*
Cody: It's no good complainin' and pointless to holler
Rex: if she’s a beauty she’ll get under your collar
Cody: She made a monkey out of old King Kong
Rex and Cody: I hope that somethin' better comes along
Rex: Ah, but what could be better than a saucy Irish setter, When puppy love comes on strong? Or a collie that's classy, a laddie needs a lassie, A lover and wife gives you a new leash on life
Cody: uh, was that a new leash on life?
Rex: oh yeah, sorry about that…two, three, four
Cody: I don't mean to scare ya, my friend, but I betcha, Come "Father's Day", the litter bug's gonna getcha
Rex: The urge is righteous, but the face is wrong
Rex and Cody: I hope that somethin' better comes along
Cody: Still, it's fun when they're fetching, And agree to see an etching, That you keep at your lily pad, There is no solution, it's part of evolution
Rex: The pitter patter of solesm, The little feet of tadpoles
Cody: Uh, Rowlf, tadpoles don't have feet
Rex: Oh. Sorry about that…two! Three! Four! ..
Cody: There's no limitation to mixin' and matchin'
Rex: Some get an itchin' for a critter they've been scratchin', A skunk was badgered the results were strong, I hope that somethin' better
Cody: I hope that somethin' better,
Rex and Cody: I hope that somethin' better comes aloooooooooong
Teddy accidentally too loud: WOW, that is NOT a pull I was expecting
Deadpool: AND THAT’S IT FOR GROUP 2 of Earth-62406, All thanks, to the Teddy Bear
Teddy: DAMMIT
Everyone in his group: TEDDY!!
Deadpool: which sucks too, because had you waited like five more seconds to say that, we would’ve called out Earth-111605 for forgetting that we were looping around back to them and that it was their turn to cut in
Azalea: ……oh, PLEASE tell me you’re joking…
Oliver: he’s right, a few more seconds and they would’ve been eliminated
Tonks under her breath: *sighs*
Albus; GODDAMMIT TEDDY!!
Aurora: HA, SUCK IT AZALEA!! I WIN OUR BET!!
Azalea: UGGHHHHH TEDDDYYYY
Teddy awkwardly: ……I’m sorry?
Nikki back at the bar; Oh, wait, SHIT, I FORGOT ABOUT THAT, FUCK, FUCK, FUU–There’s children at the bar, SHIT-FUCK-GAHHH
Damian dryly: I’ve heard worse from Todd
Hudson dryly: and same for me with my aunt Ev and Morgan
Jaime dryly: hang on, how many sidebets were going on??
Deadpool: alright, off to the Bar of Losers you guys!
Adelynn(X): hang on, can we back up a second, Cody, Rex, that song you were singing…why that one specifically?
Rex: ……because it’s one we know really well?
Adelynn (X): uh-huh, but why?
Cody: because we’ve had to watch movies a LOT when babysitting the kids, and the muppet movie is a favorite of the kids?
Adelynn (X) skeptical: right, but why choose that song, SPECIFICALLY…? There were better ones you could’ve done, Can you picture that? Movin’ right along, or even the finale, but instead you leaned towards that one…why?
Rex and Cody deflecting: …uhhhhh……no reason?
Both Adelynns and Bobby from back at the Bar: Osik!
Adelynn (X): *whips her head over to where the Bar is* you can hear us from over there?!
Bobby: oh, yeah, loud and clear! In fact…*walks over to join the two adelynns*
Fives and Echo: oh, no…*both of them go after him*
Bobby: I’m on your side, and I agree, something’s up
Adelynn (X): …you know I never thought I’d say this after the stunt you pulled earlier, but THANK YOU BOBBY, now what the fuck’s going on?
Oliver to Bobby and Adelynn(X); Enough you two, I’m telling you, this isn’t something you’re going to want to press
Adelynn (X): wait, what do you mean you two, the other Adelynn was pressing on this too!
Adelynn (111605) sighing: He says you two because I know why they know that song better than any other song in the movie
Rex: Vo–
Adelynn (X): you do? Then what is it?!
Adelynn (111605) nearly snarling: Racism.
*silence*
Bobby slowly somewhat darkly: could you care to Clarify a little?
Adelynn (X) slowly somewhat darkly: yeah, I second that…
Rex: *sighing somewhat dully* well, you see me and Cody have been trying to get into the dating field recently and, well…it hasn’t been going so well…and almost every time we try and strike out it’s been for the same reason…
Bobby slowly dangerously: and that being?
Rex and Cody in unison sighing dully: Nobody wants to date a “Fake person”
More than Half of the people there in rage: WHAT?!!! (Lucifer using his Devil voice)
Adelynn (111605): *smacking Cody in the back of the Head*
Allana: *doing the same to Rex* we told you what would happen next time you said that
Rex: WE WERE JUST STATING WHAT HAPPENED THIS TIME!!
Adelynn: still!
Bobby: *looks at Adelynn (X) and offers a handshake* Truce?
Adelynn (X): Truce *shakes his hand*
Five quietly to Echo: this is NOT going to end well
Echo dryly: you think?!
Rex dryly: oh force there’s two of them…
Bobby: adelynn–I mean, Adelynn-111605, say the word, give me their names and addresses, I can come over and put them on ice *as he says that his hand turns into a sharp icicle then turns back to normal*
Adelynn (X): …okay, I don’t have a clever pun for what I can do, But I’ll just run them through with my lightsaber
Adelynn (111605): YES
Deadpool: or I’ll do you one better *pulls out two grenades* I say, we pay them a visit, and blow their asses to kingdom come
All three of them: YES
Lucifer: you know, I never thought the day would come when I would agree with a deadpool plan
Adelynn (111605): Same here
Evelyn; yeah, I never thought this day would come either
Stephanie back from the bar: Yeah! You in the red and black suit! I don’t know your name but I like you! we’re going to be friends now!
Rudy from the bar: yeah! Same here! Forget everything I’ve EVER said about you, we’re friends now too compadre!
All four clones; NO
Oliver in his spectre voice: ENOUGH
Stephanie under her breath: drama king
Oliver: …as much as they deserve it, for that, you will not be going to Coruscant-111605 and killing every person that’s rejected them because they were racist…you’d be killing THIRTY PEOPLE
Sara: as much as I’d LOVE to see the racists-or clonists-I'm not sure what to call it- dead, especially considering my wife is also a clone, he’s right, you can’t just kill people because they–I’m Sorry did you say THIRTY?!?!
Rex: *sighing* not many people like clones
Sara: …nevermind I’m on your side
Evelyn: YES
Oliver: NO
Barry: okay guys, c’mon, we can’t go killing people just because they suck, we’re better than that…
Oliver: thank you barry
Deadpool: ughhh, would you two just shut up and bone already!
Iris: *coughs out a laugh*
Barry: hey!
Oliver dryly: WADE
Deadpool: yes?
Oliver; We are both MARRIED, with WIVES, and you know that! Bobby, take your seat, No ONE is going to Earth-111605 to do that, because Adelynn-111605 would be likely sent to prison if you went through with this, and Bobby and Wade you would be exposing the multiverse
*Adelynn-111605 just sighs dryly*
Deadpool: alright fiiiiine we can move on…losers! Go to the bar of Losers while we start the next round!
Everyone who was ready to fight: DAMMIT
*everyone who needs to leave goes back to the bar*
Kara: *looks over and sees the sign* hang on guys, when did that get there?
Loki: Why is the Earth-X part so much smaller than the Earth-prime part?
Mxyzptlk: I guess I’m making my presence known now…Heyyyy guys!
Sirius (111605): and who the hell are you??
Kara: wha–MXY?!?! *speeds over to him and hugs him*
Winn: Mxy?! *walks over*
Mxyzptlk: *laughing softly* Hey Kara! Hey winn!
Kara; but how are you here?! WHY are you here?!
Winn: it’s been a while, man!
Mxyzptlk: it’s a long story, but Steve saved my butt after the whole Nxly incident and now I’m working for him, causing chaos just by having fun all throughout the multiverse
Barry: Kara? You Know this guy?
Kara: Yeah! This is my my friend Mister Mxyzptlk
Mxyzptlk: but please, call me Mxy
Iris: …uh-huh…so what earth are you from, and how do you know Kara?
Sirius (62406) slightly cautious knowing who he is: he’s not FROM earth, and be careful, Iris
Mxyzptlk: ding ding ding, that is CORRECT Mr Black, I am NOT from earth, however, you don’t need to worry about me, you’re thinking of my doppelgangers, some of them have been known to be a little less than trustworthy, chaos causing, destructive, and known for terrorizing cities, but don’t worry, I’m not THAT bad…anymore
Kara: he’s right Sirius, he’s not dangerous, we’ve known each other for a while now, sure we didn’t exactly have…the GREATEST start to our friendship
Mister Mxyzptlk: I tried to get her to go out with me in my fake form and kill her boyfriend at the time
Kara: but he’s MORE than made up for his past
Music Meister: *taking a sip of champagne* aren’t reunions great, good to see you again Kara
Kara in shock noticing him: you!
Cisco noticing him: oh what the hell?!
*Barry speeds both Cisco and Sara over to Kara and the others
Sara: I’m sensing a bit of a past between you two…
Barry: he’s the guy who trapped us in a musical coma a couple years ago
HR walking over: oh hey! It’s the music Meister!
Music Meister: thanks for the name by the way Cisco, you’ll be happy to know I kept using it
Cisco: uh-huh…
Barry being cautious: what the hell are you doing here?!
Steve : you guys can stand down, he works for me, and before you ask, he worked for the other guy when he got to you two, I got him when I took the job alright, he’s my herald, teaches people lessons through chaotic dreams
Music Meister: although now thanks to you two *gently pats barry and kara’s shoulders* I do it in musical dreams, also don’t act like we didn’t have fun! And you both learned something out from it!
Barry: what do you mean your herald?
Steve : another time, don’t you all have a riff off to get to?
Oliver: *having his hologram walk over* he’s right you know, and I don’t know about you, but I’d like to get this done sooner rather than later
Barry: ……and you’re not going to cause any trouble?
Music Meister: you have my word Barry, Kara, I’m just here to watch the show
Kara: …Steve? You’re sure we can trust him?
Steve : yes, don’t worry, he’s harmless…mostly…but if he knocks anyone out, I can immediately reverse it
Cisco: well I guess this answered my question I asked on WHAT are you…
Music Meister: that it does mister ramon, now I believe you have a Riff off to compete in?
Oliver; Barry. Kara. *looking at them both*
Barry and Kara: ……fine…
*Barry speeds everyone back to where they initially were*
Oliver: *lightly glaring at steve*
Steve : you alright Ollie?
Oliver: ……I’m fine…*walks back to where he was*
Deadpool: alright, now, that little side trip is over, Let’s do this, You ALL are getting exposed this round because this next round is SEX SONGS
*silence*
Iris: …didn’t we already do that?
Deadpool innocently: nope! That round was songs ABOUT sex, this round is songs you play when you’re playing with your wands and–
Dick: WE GET IT–Wade…
Holly dryly: oh, PLEASE tell me he’s joking
Dick: …I’m afraid not…each judge got at least one they could put in without question…this was his…so your 60 seconds starts now!
*meanwhile back at the Bar*
Azalea: ……well, now I’m glad we got out, thanks teddy
Lily Luna: yep, same here
Nikki: same here…also DAMMIT AZALEA, you guys lost me five galleons!
Azalea: …are you guys taking new bets?
Christian: yep, thirty minimum for new entry, forty for second chance betting or changing
Steve : that’d be six galleons for you Nikki
Nikki: *puts down six galleons* same bet, but without Azalea’s group
Christian: got it! Alright, any new bets or bet changes?
Tonks(62406): we can make bets on ties?
Christian: yep!
Tonks (62406): *puts down five galleons* X, Iris, and Prime,
Christian: that’s seeming to be a popular bet tonight
Rosie: because it’s probably the right one*puts down five galleons* same bet…actually wait, swap out Prime for Coruscant
Lily Luna: *puts down some money* seven galleons, same bet Tonks’ sorry Rosie
Christian: alright, anyone else betting…once…twice…and we’re closed until the next team gets out!
Han (Solo): I’m glad I can drink, but I’m gonna need another one, hey, Purple guy! I’ll take another Corellian Whiskey
Steve : sorry, I already said I wouldn’t step on Christian’s toes again, talk to him
Han (Solo): alright, that’s fair, bartender, I’ll take a corellian whiskey
Christian: We don’t have any, I can give you regular or Fire
Han (Solo): …I fucking hate this place, the fuck you mean you don’t have Corellian whiskey??
Charlotte dryly: Dad….. EVERYONE hates this place they have fucking money with sidious’ kriffing face on it
Christian sliding Han(Solo) a glass: She’s right, we do, and for your information it exists here, we just don’t have any, so Just suck it up and try the damn firewhiskey
Rosie casually: Liquor of choice for my entire family…. Well except when we raid my arsehole grandparents’ liquor stashes - they were functioning alcoholics
Christian dryly: So you gonna drink it? Or are you going to turn down the free liquor
Han (Solo) and Charlotte at the same time: No solo turns down free liquor
Rey: At least your grandfather’s not Palpatine…. And if you don’t turn it down when concussed or dead it makes sense
Christian semi casual: Your grandfather’s palpatine? We’re not going to have a problem, right? *pulling out the blaster from under the bar counter*
Charlotte: Touch her and you’ll be VERY familiar with what exactly a lightsaber up your ass feels like *immediately hand hovering over her lightsaber*
Leia sighing: Charlotte no starting bar fights
Charlotte being a little shit: But mooooom bar fights are fun!
Christian being cautious: You’re right, bar fights ARE fun, well except for the bartender who has to clean everything up...which would be me...but she still hasn’t answered the question
Constantine: She’s fine Christian, she’s one of the ones who we fought with in the last crisis incident, she’s on our side, besides, if she hasn’t hurt anyone, why the bloody hell would she now?
Christian: *putting the blaster away*…touche…alright, if Constantine trusts you, considering his trust issues, I’ll have to trust you too…sorry about the whole blaster thing, but I’m kind of used to being on the side that is completely against your grandfather, so you can’t blame me for being cautious when I hear someone’s related to him
Han (solo)….would the fact that my daughter shot Palpatine in the most solo manner possible be a better tidbit *tossing back the fire whiskey* …shit…that’s actually not bad
Everyone from Earth-X: YOU WHAT?!?!
Christian: ...Give me a couple minutes, you’re getting the best cocktail I can make, whiskey based of course, would you prefer regular or fire?
Charlotte: …….I…. Can’t have alcohol, I’m pregnant
Christian: Okay, Steve, if you can, I need you to do me a favor and take the alcohol but leave the flavor of it in the cocktail I’m about to make
Steve: Got it!
Ben in Corellian/Spanish: si es posible no podríamos discutir la razón por la que técnicamente murió durante dos minutos?!( if possible could we NOT discuss the reason why you technically DIED for two minutes?!)
Charlotte in Corellian/Spanish: Papá lo mencionó esta vez, no yo! (Dad brought it up this time, not me!
Leia: …I really should’ve taken that Corellian class…
Charlotte: yep, but it’s too late now!
Christian: *places a very fancy drink down by Charlotte* One second, I needed to call a friend of mine down here…
???: *all of a sudden they see a man with dark skin, a nice shirt and jeans walking over from the elevator* What’s going on Christian? What’s the emergency?
Christian: no emergency, but long story short, I need your help with a drink
???: ……you called me away from the grill because you needed help with a drink? And back up, since when do YOU need help with a drink?
Christian: since what I was making was an RC Firewhiskey Special, Robby
Robby?: An RC Whiskey Special? That doesn’t even make sense most of these guys don’t even know what that is since they’re from the multiverse…and I know Snart and Wally didn’t order it, General Echo didn’t because he hates them, Fives has probably never heard of it, Constantine’s already got a drink, and Bobby–*realizes* bobby…
Bobby: oh hey man! I just realized I haven’t had a chance to say hi to you yet since I got back!
*Robby hugs Bobby*
Bobby: I know it’s been a while Roberto, but don’t worry, I’m fine now…How’s Jubilee doing?
Roberto?: well, does this answer your question *shows off his wedding band*
Bobby: you two finally tied the knot?
Roberto?: Yep!
Bobby: congrats man!
Roberto?: yep, nine years after last week, we even had a kid, he’s three years old…Antonio Bobby Da Costa
Bobby in slight shock: you named him after me?
Roberto: well to be fair, you are part of the reason me and Jubes got together
Bobby: still, I’m honored!
Charlotte: ……so who’s this guy, and why’d you call him down here?
Roberto Da Costa/Sunspot: where are my manners, Roberto Da Costa
Christian: like he said, his name’s Roberto Da Costa, his codename is Sunspot, and he’s my long time friend and business partner, together we run the evening resistance Bar and Grill in the mess hall and I called him to help with your drink
Charlotte: …what the hell kind of drink are you making where it requires TWO people??
Christian: an RC Whiskey Special!
Roberto: uh-huh, and we’re making her an RC Whiskey Special, because?
Christian: she killed an alt universe version of palpatine
Roberto: …alright, then, one RC Whiskey Special coming up! If you guys could just move a little to the side
*Roberto closes his eyes as he turns completely black, as his eyes turn yellow, as he then slowly waves his finger by the side of the drink as it briefly starts to bubble as he then turns back to normal*
Roberto: there we go!
Christian: *carefully with a glove on places in what looks like a small piece of ice so cold that it smokes as he then puts it in and the cocktail turns orange* aaand it’s done! Steve?
Steve : already did it, it’s safe for her to drink
Roberto: what does–
Christian: long story, she’s pregnant, he has powers, and used them to take out the alcohol but leave the taste
Roberto; that’s not–
Christian: trust me, just don’t question it
Charlotte: actually, back up a bit I have a question, WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT HE JUST DID?!?!
Roberto: Oh, that’s my mutation, Solar Radiation absorption and rechanneling, and before you ask, no your drink is not irradiated, I can also use it to create extreme heats, WITHOUT irradiating them
Charlotte: ……okay, just hand me the drink
*Christian gently slides it over*
Charlotte: *sips it* shit…that’s pretty fucking good…Also why the fuck is this even a round? Isn’t anyone concerned with waking up the rest of the base with this?
Roberto and Christian: Thank you
Christian: also don’t worry, the entire Lux main clubroom is soundproofed, no one can hear from upstairs, or outside and vice versa
Charlotte slowly: ……what about the fact there are two children in the room?
Hudson dully: I’m kind of just tuning out this whole round, I have music playing, while I’ve also been explaining to Damian some of the weapons upgrades I’ve been helping morgan with, besides I’ve hear worse from Aunt Ev and Morgan
Tim: could you maybe do us all a favor and maybe NOT give him ideas for you to give him more upgrades?
Stephanie: or at least make it fair and give us ALL upgrades!
Jason while recording; I’d be fine with that
Damian: if you all could shut your mouths, I’m trying to listen to what Hudson is trying to tell me about these weapons upgrades in order to drown out the buffoonery of these singing imbeciles this round
Hudson: we really need to work on your people skills man, or you’re never going to have any friends outside of your family and me, also my Aunt and uncle are in that group so if you could maybe chill it with that
Damian: wrong, I have five friends now outside of the family counting you, three from school, and Jonathan Kent
Hudson: Kent? What, like Superman?
Damian: Superman is his father, Jonathan is his son, Superboy
Hudson: *chokes as he takes a sip of his root beer* SUPERMAN HAS A SON IN YOUR UNIVERSE?!
Damian: He isn't here? Well how many supers are there in this universe??
Hudson: Two! Superman and Supergirl! And Superman died years ago! How many are in Yours?!
Damian: Connor, Jonathan, the Super-Twins, Supergirl, Powergirl, the superpets–
Hudson: there are superPETS?!?!
Damian: yes, there’s a cat, a dog–
Hudson: and here I thought OUR universe was confusing…
Damian: fine…I suppose if you’d prefer we could go back to talking about weapons upgrades
Hudson: sure…
Stephanie: oh my god, are you guys seeing this? Damian now has two best friends!
Christian: are we seeing the same conversation here? Damian looks like he can barely tolerate Hudson
Cassandra: That's just how he is, but allow me to explain how we can tell…he’s calling Hudson by his first name…
Jason: it’s true, he still calls most of us by our last names
Charlotte: …I’d say you all are crazy, but then again we all are a little so…let’s just be grateful that this round from the sounds of it is pretty much over
Barbara: I’ll drink to that *downs a shot of scotch*
Charlotte: *takes another sip of her drink* Holy shit, how the hell does it get better with every sip!
*roberto and Christian fist bump*
Roberto: well it was nice meeting you all, and it was nice seeing what this place looks like, of course, especially considering I’m going to be bartending with christian when this place opens up, but I gotta go, like I said earlier, I’ve gotta get back to the grill, glad you liked the drink, I’ll see you all around! *about to leave* But before I do leave, Bobby, please, you need to stop by me and Jubes’ place sometime whenever you’re free…Jubilee would love to see you again…*leaves*
Cassandra; and the round’s over
Azalea; *sighing in relief* thank merlin
*back with those in the riff off*
Deadpool: wow…some of you are Dirty, DIRTY people, very naughty…and I can respect that
Allana dryly: SHUT THE FUCK UP WADE
Dick: yeah, you’re not the only one who’s happy that round’s over, but now MOVING ON, to the round I’VE been waiting for, a round I’m calling, the Parody round! You need to sing a parody of a song, and not an actual song, yes weird al songs and other premade parody songs are viable options, however I’m hoping you all impress me and come up with something on your own, especially if you want those bonus points later, which is why instead of sixty seconds, you’ll be getting a whole three minutes to discuss this round, also when you cut in, you don’t need to match up any words for this round, just jump in when you’re ready, now your three minutes staaaaaaarts, NOW!!
*Back at the Bar*
Tim: oh god don’t tell me he’s going to do the song I think he’s going to do
Jason: oh he is
Tim: Noooooooo
Stephanie: oh this is going to be AWESOME
*with the first 62406 group*
Iris: alright, who here knows how to write songs…
Leo: …Aidan we’re looking at you…
Aidan; Wait, what?! Why Me?!?!
Leo: because! You can’t HONESTLY tell me this isn’t the cheesy romantic type of thing you’d do for Iris
Aidan: ……didn’t you take your girlfriend for a picnic under the stars??? AND SHOW HER A METEOR SHOWER?? I don’t think you can judge me on that semi-cheesy romance anymore, but the answer is no, I don’t know how to write songs
James Sirius: don’t worry guys, I think I can handle this round, just start singing the tune of Prince Ali when I get start singing, and Ali just I’m gonna need you to just roll with this, I’m getting us those bonus points
Ali: Okay?
Iris: you sure you know what you’re doing Jamie?
James Sirius: one hundred percent
Iris: alright then I’ll trust you
Aidan: and if Iris is with you, I guess I’m with you
Leo: alright, you’ve got me too
Louis: ……you really seem like you know what you’re doing with this one…alright, fine, let’s do this
James Sirius: alright, Aunt Hols? Uncle Sirius? Ronnie?
Sirius (62406); of course I trust you, why the hell wouldn’t I?
Holly: Yeah, I’m not going to be the one to shut this down now
Ronnie: you’re not hearing me saying no when I’m the last one, especially considering I don’t have any better ideas
James Sirius: great, let’s do this!
*with the third 62406 group*
Victoire; …I think I know what we can do…does everyone remember that viral SNL skit from a couple years ago, Domingo?
Angelina: I think I remember Roxanne showing it to me…
Gwen: oh yeah! Freddie showed me that! The skits with that one girl who cheated on her fiance then husband with the one guy from Miami and somehow led to her having twins one that’s domingos and then the other—
Victoire; That’s matthew’s! Yep!
Gwen: alright, does everyone here know the tune of hot-to-go
Everyone; yes
Lily Luna: good, alright, who still has D-O-M-I-N-G-O memorized, we need for ladies
Frost: *sighs* I’m only doing this so we can win, I’ll do it
Victoire; alright…aunt gin, I know you know it because I was there when the cousins showed it to your generation, and I remember it well because aunt Hols was CACKLING
Ginny: alright, I’ll do it
Victoire; alright, one more…Gwennie?
Gwen: *sighs dryly* fiiiiiine
Freddie: Thank you SO much Gwen
Gwen: yeah, yeah, you know I’m just doing this so we can beat our siblings
Victoire; okay, and we need two guys and one more girl in case if it comes to it, or depending on the guys someone can double up
Gwen sighing dryly: I know what you’re thinking and fine, Freddie you be matthew, I’ll be Kelsey
Victoire; thank you for volunteering…also I think I just thought of an idea that’ll make things REALLY interesting…now Freddie, don’t be mad, but…
*with Earth-111605*
Aurora: we could always do–
Sirius (111605): the twelve days of Christmas parody we made when in hogwarts!
Aurora; ……you see this is why I love you
James (111605): alright, the plan is perfect, let’s do this!
*with Earth-Prime*
HR: alright, now I LOVE Senator Yankovic’s old work as a parody musician, I have nearly every one of his parody songs memorized, I think I can take the lead on this one
Barry: alright HR, this one’s all you, what’re we doing?
HR: one of his best hits…Amish Paridise
Winn: I love it! Also can we back up to something you said Earlier, did you say SENATOR YANKOVIC??
HR: Yeah, what is he not a senator on earth-prime
Winn: Weird Al Yankovic is A SENATOR ON YOUR EARTH?!
HR: Yes, and I’m guessing that answers my previous question, he really did have a talent though with his parody songs, I really wish he didn’t give it up for Politics…wait…does he still make parody songs on your earth??
Kara: yeah…
HR: well when we get back to earth-prime I’m definitely going down a rabbit hole of weird al songs…
Barry: I guess that’s not THAT surprising when we consider that Winn’s Actor was President
Winn: WHAT?!
Kara: not you, your actor, apparently on HR’s Earth-There’s this guy named Jeremy Jordan who’s your doppel-double
Winn: and he plays me in the universes where we’re fictional, got it…huh…
*once time is up*
Dick: alright, let’s get things started!
*Oliver and Deadpool start singing the tune of Jingle Bells, Batman Smells by Kamakazi*
Dick: Dashing through the snow, In a one-horse open sleigh, Joker's on the go, Laughing all the way, The bells on Penguins ring, Make Riddler wanna fight, Two-Face wants to flip a coin,And sing this song tonight, Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg ,Batmobile lost a wheel, And Joker got away, Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg, Batmobile lost a wheel, And Joker got away
James Sirius: –wayyyyy, for princess Aliiiii…
*everyone from Iris’ 62406 group starts singing the tune of Prince Ali from Aladdin*
Jams Sirius: Hey, clear the way in the old bazaar Hey, you! Let us through, it's a bright new star, Oh, come be the first on your block to meet her curls, Make way, here she comes, ring bells, bang the drums! Oh, you're gonna love this girl! *take’s Ali’s hand and starts dancing around the room with her* Princess Ali fabulous She, Ali longbottom, Genuflect, show some respect, Down on one knee, Now, try your best to stay calm, brush up at the art museum, then come and meet his weasley coterieeee, Princess Ali, mighty is she, Ali Ababwa, Strong as ten regular men, definitely, she faced the terrorist three, about fifty guys with guns, then we had some fun with the crew then came back to fight the Nazis, princess ali!
James (111605): on the first day of christmas I got confiscated from me A six pack of ogden’s whiskey!
Sirius (62406): on the second–
*meanwhile back at the bar*
Jason: oh my god they’re going to do the whole twelve days of christmas until somebody chimes in…also I still can’t believe there’s a christmas song about how I tried to jack the tires off the batmobile
Stephanie: I’m pretty sure there’s more to it than that…although I’m a little upset he didn’t get to the graphic part, because his face would’ve been absolutely hilarious during that bit
Tim: I’d rather he didn’t, we all know that graphic part too well…*shivers*
Sirius (6246): oh yeah, I remember doing this when we were in hogwarts after lily and james got together, I know it well because of what happened after, let me put it this way, James kissed lily so deep it almost puts ours to shame, well back then at least
Nikki snorts: and you know this, how?
Remus (6246): because he did it in the great hall, in front of the whole school, just after we had finished the song, after dinner
*nikki just bursts into laughter*
Tonks (6246): *snorts loudly* that’s fucking hilarious
Azalea: oh yeah! That happened on our earth too! Only in our universe, because of the time traveling bullshit Holly, and everyone from her generation was there too
Snart: wait a minute…out of curiosity, why did they go back to the past?
Azalea; to change it so everybody we cared about lived?
Snart: uh-huh…right, that shouldn’t be possible…
Azalea; …what’re you talking about…
Constantine: he’s right, what you’re describing is self-fixing fixed point, the reason why it’s self-fixing, is because it’s a time paradox, if they went back and tried to fix things, time should’ve fixed itself somehow and made it so it DIDN’T happen, because, if they went back and time and fixed things in your at the time present, what was their past–
Wally: there wouldn’t have ever been a reason for them to time travel in the first place, meaning–
Snart: meaning they wouldn’t have been there to cause said changes to happen
Lily Luna; ……and you know all this how?
Snart: the three of us spent a lot of time, time traveling, we were all on a team known as the Legends, founded by this guy who time traveled back from the future, his name was rip hunter, he tried to fix his future where his wife and child were killed, and the future was somehow EVEN WORSE than it is now, recruited a bunch of nobodies in perspective to the timeline, myself, my partner Mick Rory, our sara lance, our raymond palmer, our Martin Stein and Jefferson Jackson, and Kendra Saunders and Carter Hall, we eventually defeated the guy who was the cause of the shitty future vandal savage, but not before Savage murdered his wife, then we had to take over for the time masters given that they were working WITH savage and we ended up blowing them up in order to restore free will because they had a device they could use to peer into the timeline and manipulate it as they saw fit, however that came at a cost…that’s how we ended up losing Raymond, then eventually some other things happened, carter and kendra left and ended up dying in the fight against the nazis, the legends had a bit of a rotatating cycle of people, really only consistently having myself, Sara, and Mick at the end, but along the way, Constantine and Wally ended up joining us, which is why the three of us know so much about time travel
Azalea; …interesting…
Lily Luna: *snorting* oh my GOD they’re doing DOMINGO
Stephanie: *dying in laughter*
*as the third Earth-62406 group is singing the tune of Hot-to-go*
Victoire: … we got facials at the spa, but kelsey doesn’t talk at all
Gwen: we say kelsey get off your phone
Frost: because we know who she’s texting, know who she’s texting?
Frost, Gwen, Victoire and Ginny: D-O-M-I-N-G-O, Kelsey’s texting, Domingo, thought that she forgot this dude, she’s sending him her pregnant nudes
Freddie; wait, WHAT happened??
Gwen: oh my god. Babe! Just listen to the whole song! Before you make like a snap judgement!
Freddie; Okay, well the song just started and we’re already at pregnant nudes!
HR cutting in: As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain, I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain, But that's just perfect for an Amish like me, You know, I shun fancy things like electricity, At 4:30 in the morning, I'm milkin' cows, Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool, And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that, Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone, I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline, Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin, But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine, Then tonight, we're gonna party like it's 1699…We been spending most our lives, Livin' in an Amish paradise, I churned butter once or twice, Livin' in an Amish paradise, It's hard work and sacrifice, Livin' in an Amish paradise, We sell quilts at discount price, Livin' in an Amish paradise……A local boy kicked me in the butt last week, I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek, I really don't care, in fact I wish him well, 'Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in Hell, But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it, An Amish with a 'tude? You know that's unheard of, I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat, And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool, If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears, We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years, But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare, We're just technologically impaired, There's no phone, no lights, no motorcar, Not a single luxury, Like Robinson Crusoe, It's as primitive as can be,We been spending most our lives, Livin' in an Amish paradise, We're just plain and simple guys, Livin' in an Amish paradise, There's no time for sin and vice, Livin' in an Amish paradise, We don't fight, we all play nice, Livin' in an Amish paradise, Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter, Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise another, Think you're really righteous?, Think you're pure in heart? Well, I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art, I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be like, On my knees day and night, scorin' points for the afterlife ,So don't be vain and don't be whiny, Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinie, We been spending most our lives, Livin' in an Amish paradise, We're all crazy Mennonites, Livin' in an Amish paradise, There's no cops or traffic lights, Livin' in an Amish paradise, But you'd probably think it bites, Livin' in an Amish paradise…
Deadpool: okay, seriously, great work to all seven teams, but something I gotta say, you, Frenchie’s team!
Louis, Victoire and Dominique dryly: we’re all half french
Deadpool: let me rephrase that, Frosty’s team
Frost dryly: don’t call me that wade
Deadpool: yeah, if you’re mad about that, you’re going to be even MORE mad with what I have to say next…you guys are out
Everyone on the team: WHAT?!?!
Deadpool: don’t get me wrong, we loved the song–Well I loved the song, buuuut, you fuckers had a non-participater, in your group this round, isn’t that right prongsy?
Everyone in the group: JAMES?!/UNCLE JAMES?!
Deadpool: that’s right! Not a peep during the whole song
James (62406) defending himself: I didn’t know the melody!
Frost dryly: UGHHH, then why didn’t you say anything earlier!
James (62406): I DIDN’T WANT TO LOOK STUPID
Freddie dryly: DAMMIT UNCLE JAMES!!
Deadpool: that’s right, you’re all pissed at James, now go be pissed and take the walk of shame TO THE LOSERS BAR
Christian dryly: WE HEARD THAT!
Deadpool innocently: THAT WAS THE POINT!!
*the third 62406 group groans as they all walk over to the bar*
Dick: but for the rest of you, nice work, five of you, I especially loved “Princess Ali” nice work you all
Ali: oh, another thing before we do that, NOBODY TELL MY PARENTS I FOUGHT TERRORISTS
Ginny with her eyebrow raised: yes, actually i meant to say something earlier, James, what did you mean when you mentioned the “Terrorist three”
James Sirius: I-uhhhh
Charlotte dryly: Fighting terrorists…..? Three generations of my family have done that….
Han (Solo) casually taking another shot: I’ve been saying it for years the Skywalker family is the most fucked up thing in the galaxy - oh don’t give me that pouty face Luke you KNOW I’m right
Ali: Two generations of mine have—well now three have but still, my dad will still have a heart attack if he finds out
Lucifer: and about your previous statement Han, all I have to say is, In YOUR galaxy that is
Han (Solo): I–
Charlotte: dad, don’t. Just trust me, you won’t win this one
Han (Solo): THEIR DAD CUT OFF LUKE’S HAND AND BLEW UP LEIA’S HOME PLANET AND FROZE ME IN KRIFFING CARBONITE HOW COULD IT BE WORSE?!
Lucifer casually: my father was going to have me destroyed from existence until my mother talked him down to sending me to hell for eternity, and while I was its ruler it was still hell, that same hell to where I’d become my mother’s warden after he sent her down to hell, after moving to earth my father sent my older brother Amenadiel here to try to get me back to hell, eventually after World War Two ended that same brother and I started the resistance, skip ahead a couple decades, My twin brother Michael decided to start assisting the Nazis in order to Help “keep a balance” really it was because he hated me, then after Amenadiel became god, and my father fucked off to brother knows where, Michael murdered my wife and daughter, and had our nephew, Amenadiel’s son kidnapped and hidden for several decades, oh and I helped in having him sent to hell
*Han (Solo) in shock just slowly reaches for his shot glass*
Charlotte dryly: I tried to warn you
Leia slowly: Are… are you okay?
Lucifer: Don’t worry, I’m fine, I’ve done therapy, with someone who I’d consider to be one of the greatest therapists of all time, I mean she’d have to be to get through all of my family issues
Evelyn casually: Bit biased luci given that she was your sister in law
Adelynn (X): And now he’s the resistance therapist and multiversal therapist… also please don’t drink all the liquor I need to drown my frustrations later from the dropped bomb that my VODE DIDN’T CARE TO MENTION
Han (solo): no promises
Christian: don’t worry! They won't!
Echo and Fives dryly: THAT WASN'T US!!
Lucifer: also for your information, she was my therapist BEFORE she was my sister in law
Adelynn (X): You still could have mentioned it!
Ricky cheerfully: and your fuck buddy before that
Echo dryly: we didn’t know that they still dealt with racism until now either!
Lucifer: Yes, Ricky, that’s also true, but keep in mind this was BEFORE Chloe and I got together
Rosie innocently: That’s REALLY stretching doctor patient confidentiality….
*charlotte and stephanie both start DYING in laughter*
Charlotte while dying in laughter: BEN PLEASE DON’T FUCK THIS UP YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS KRIFFING AMAZING
Lucifer: oh–I see what you did there! Nice one Rosie!
Rosie innocently: it’s what I do
Amenadiel: Could you all maybe refrain from talking about my wife’s history with my brother in…that sense
Lucifer: ah, yes, sorry brother, perhaps we should move on with the round, Oliver?
Oliver: yes, thank you lucifer, now, for the next round, our movie musical round, you have sixty seconds as you did in every round before the parody round, starting now
George (62406): real quick before we do, I’d like to thank HR for cutting in before we got further into our song, okay, NOW we can get started
Deadpool: AND DISNEY ANIMATED MOVIES DON’T COUNT, GO!!
*with the Earth-62406 group*
Iris; alright guys we’re the last 62406 group standing, lets do this! What’re we doing?
Louis: ……what about Wonka? That’s an actually good one
Leo; I love it, but which song?
James Sirius: I would say the Oompa Loompa song, but I think it’s too short…
Ali: you’re right…honestly there are a LOT of good songs in that movie…but for that reason we also need to get rid of sweet tooth
Ronnie: aw, I thought that one was funny
Aidan: I think we all did…but if we’re cutting things because of that, we also need to cut scrub scrub, and you’ve never had chocolate like this, the first one, not the reprise, and Sorry Noodle
Holly: that makes sense
Dominique: alright, so what does that leave? Hatful of dreams, For a moment, You’ve never had chocolate like this, the reprise, a World of your own, and Pure imagination
Sirius: For a moment half of the song is instrumentals so I’d cut that one, and group or songs where more than just the main person sing probably are more likely to get points, so we should probably take out hatful of dreams, I’d say for a moment, but that at least has one person chiming in briefly…only reason Pure imagination isn't out is because of how recognizable it is
Dominique: Not pure imagination, trust me, we’re better off with either You’ve never had chocolate like this, or a world of your own, now, I have an idea, does everyone here know all of the lyrics to “you’ve never had chocolate like this”?
Louis: ehhh, In my defense that one has a LOT of parts to it
Dominique: alright, fine then, A world of your own, okay, so now for my idea for style points *pulls out a small metal ring*
Leo: no fucking way. Dom, You DIDN’T
Ronnie: What, what is it?
Ali: The U ring Morgan made for Victoire…
Iris: …….okay, you’re going to be our Willy since you have the U ring, and that WILL be useful here since you know the choreography, and I’d also like to say thank you for your sacrifice because I’m pretty sure you’ve killed yourself by taking that
Louis: We’ll make sure to put a good epithet on your tombstone
Iris; alright, now to discuss the minor roles…
*with the earth-111605 group*
Sirius (111605): okay, do we know any NON-Animated disney musical songs?
Aurora: ……I mean we know Mary poppins? Gambit, you know that one?
Remy: yeah, I know the da tunes
Allana: …okay, I think I remember watching that one…vaguely…enough to sing along to the tune
Sirius (111605): alright what song are we doing?
Aurora: We could do “step in time”?
Sirius (111605): me and you as Bert and Mary?
Aurora: let’s do this!
*with the Earth-X group*
Evelyn: Alright, what’re we doing here?
Aaron: ……what about…Rewrite the stars!
Evelyn: from greatest showman! YES!
Lucifer: Oh yes, I remember that one, Hugh did really good in that film
Evelyn: alright, let’s do this!
*With the Earth-Prime group*
HR: alright, what’re we doing here gang?
Ray: what about “tonight” from west side story?
Sara: okay, that’s a pretty good pick…so who’s doing the song?
Cisco: *looking at caitlin*
Caitlin: *sighs* I can take it!
Barry: hang on, Caitlin, you know west side story?
Caitlin: yep! One of the musicals I actually know best!
Cisco innocently: you would know, Mariaaaa–
Caitlin sharply: dont.
Barry: …what is that about?
Cisco: She played Maria in her high school production of west side story
Caitlin: FRANCISCO RAMON
Barry: okay then, well that’s helpful, who’s taking tony?
Winn: I can do it! I know West Side Story pretty well
Kara: alright then, so the rest of us acapella?
HR: yep!
Cisco: alright, we’ve got this, those other groups, they’re going down, we’re taking this win for Earth-Prime
*Earth-200k*
Peter: alright guys, what song are we doing, whatever we do here could make or break considering how few groups there are left standing
Scott: like he said, so do we have any ideas?
Luis (200k): I have one, have any of you guys watched that movie in the heights? I watched it recently with one of my cousins
Scott: oh yeah, me, hope and Cassie watched that movie last weekend!
Quill: yeah, and it was on my list of “Movie musicals to watch to prepare for this” only thing is I couldn’t understand certain things considering the amount of it that was in spanish, but I memorized the melodies
Luis (200k): okay, you’re going to be on full time acapella then, anyone else know the words to the songs?
Scott; I know a couple of them…Cassie showed it to me and hope
Peter: me, ned, Cassie, and MJ watched that movie and know all the words to the songs!
Luis (200k): okay, so that means we got me, spidey, scotty, hope, and cassie, alright what song are we doing?
Scott: We don't have NEARLY enough people for Carnival del Barrio…what about the intro!
Quill: aren’t there a bunch of people in the intro too?
Cassie: We could double up on some parts?
Luis (200k): okay who’s got what?
Quill: wait I actually know the chorus for that one!
Scott: Great! Also I can take Rosario! And the Piragua guy!
Luis (200k): alright…I can take Benny and one of the Salon ladies!
Hope: *snorting* alright, I can take abuela claudia and another one of the salon ladies
Cassie; I’ll take Vanessa and the main salon lady
Scott: alright then, peter, you’re getting Usnavi and Sonny then, now, let’s do this!
*back at the bar*
Han (Solo): did he say…MOVIE Musical?
Charlotte innocently: yep
Han (Solo): *groans* Goddammit
Charlotte: yep, I’d be willing to bet ANYTHING that Bennyboo’s over convincing the coruscant group to do something from the docudrama
Music Meister innocently: oh? What’s this? Did someone have a musical made about him?
Charlotte: yes, that’s right! A holo docudrama musical about his life
Music Meister: I’ll have to put it on my list sometime of things to see
Mxyzptlk: same here!
Steve : movie night? All three of us?
Mxyzptlk: in the Multiversal Theater?
Han (solo): noooooooo
Steve : obviously! But not right after this, I have some work I need to take care of
Mxyzptlk: Cosmic Council?
Steve : sort of
Music Meister: Becky?
Steve : again sort of…I forgot some paperwork on a couple of pranks and she’s gonna help me get them done, don’t worry It won’t be too long probably, I’ll meet you both at the theater after
Mxyzptlk: ……you know, why don’t we just do it tomorrow? Make things easier on all of us
Steve : you sure?
Music Meister innocently: yep, we’re sure, just make sure you don’t mess up on that paperwork
Steve: thanks guys
Charlotte excited: Everybody Shut the FUCK up! …I think they’re getting started…
*with the Coruscant group*
Adelynn (111605): Okay, Ben, I know you’re not going to like this but…you’re going to have to do moulin rouge!
Ben: uhhhh, guys…I’ve never watched that one?
Obi-Wan: I think she meant me, but that’s not good…
Anakin: wait, did we NOT show it to you yet??
Ben: nope
Cody: osik…is there anything else thats not disney animation that we know?
Adelynn (111605): nope that was it, unless, ben, do you know anything?
Ben: nope
Rex: so…we’ve got nothing?
Ahsoka: …sounds like it…
Obi-Wan: So that’s it? We’re done?
Adelynn (111605) reluctantly: ……it seems like it…SHIT, OSIK, POODO, FUCK!
*once time is up*
Oliver: let’s begin!
*dick and deadpool start singing the tune of Good Afternoon by Ryan Reynolds and Will Ferell*
Oliver; Now, fellow, here you are, In a shitty British bar, With a frothy little frown upon your lips, Another pinty for me friend, extra warm
Deadpool: your accent blows!
Oliver: well I. beg. To differ. well as you’re drowning in that ale, You're feeling like a failure, Sorrier than soggy fish and chips, But you don't have to sit and pout, Just let your inner Scrooge come out, 'Cause why should any other jerk enjoy his day? When you're down in the dumps, And need some cheering-upsies, Turn and tap, A hapless chap, And sweetly say…good afternoon!
Sara quietly to Barry and Kara; ……so I know I’M paying that Jason guy for a copy of what he’s recording, do you two want me to get you guys a copy?
Kara quietly: that’s not even a question
Barry quietly: yeah, I think I’d ALSO like a copy of that
Peter: …on Washington Heights, up at the break of day, I wake up and I got this little punk I gotta chase away, Pop the grate at the crack of dawn, Sing while I wipe down the awning, Hey yo, good morning
Scott: Ice cold piragua! Parcha. China. Cherry. Strawberry. And just for today, I got mamey!
Peter: oye, piraguero como esta
Scott: como siempre senor usnavi
*Everyone but Peter starts singing the melody of In the heights
Peter: I am Usnavi and you prob'ly never heard my name, Reports of my fame are greatly exaggerated, Exacerbated by the fact that my syntax is highly complicated, 'Cause I immigrated from the single greatest, Little place in the Caribbean: Dominican Republic! I love it! Jesus, I'm jealous of it, and beyond that, Ever since my folks passed on, I haven't gone back, God damn, I gotta get on that…Fo! The milk has gone bad, hold up just a second, Why is everything in this fridge warm and tepid?I better step it up and fight the heat, 'Cause I'm not makin' any profit if the coffee isn't light and sweet
*the others from Earth-200k start singing the tune of in the heights*
Hope: ooh hoo!
Peter: Abuela, my fridge broke. I got café but no "con leche."!
Hope: ay dios! Try my mother’s recipe! One can of condensed milk
Peter: Nice. Oh wait, your lottery ticket—
Hope: pacencia y fe!
Peter: That was Abuela, she's not really my “abuela,” But she practically raised me, this corner is her escuela, Now, you're probably thinkin: "I'm up shit's creek!"
Cassie: I’ve never been north of 96th street!
Peter: well, you must take the A train, Even farther than Harlem, to northern Manhattan, and maintain, Get off at 181st, and take the escalator, I hope you're writing this down, I'm gonna test ya later, I'm getting tested; times are tough on this bodega, Two months ago somebody bought Ortega's, Our neighbors started packin' up and pickin' up and ever since the rents went up, It's gotten mad expensive, but we live with just enough
Everyone from the Earth 200k group: In the heights, I flip the lights and start my day, There are fights
Cassie and Hope: endless debts
Luis (200k), Quill, Scott, and Peter: endless debts, and bills to payyyyyyy
Everyone from the Earth 200k group other than Peter: In the Heights, I can't survive without café
Peter: I serve Okay, must be a lucky day cafè
Everyone from the Earth 200k group other than Peter: 'Cause tonight seems like a million years away! In Washington–
Peter: Next up, ding! Kevin Rosario, He runs the cab company, he struggles in the barrio, See,, his daughter Nina's off at college, tuition is mad steep, So he can't sleep; everything he get is mad cheap!
Scott: Good morning, Usnavi!
Peter; Pan caliente, cafe con leche
Scott: Put twenty dollars on today’s lottery
Peter; Okay, must be a lucky day
Scott; Gotta be!
Peter: Oh my god you’re so excited
Scott: my nina flew in–
* just then the Earth-111605 group cuts in with Step in time from mary poppins as everyone starts dancing around the room with Aurora and Sirius dancing together*
Sirius (111605): in time, step in time, Come on, mateys, step in time
Step in time, Step in time, step in time, Step in time, step in time, Never need a reason, Never need a rhyme, Step in time, you step in time!
Sirius (111605) and all of the men in their group: Kick your knees up! Kick your knees up, step in time, Kick your knees up, step in time, Never need a reason, Never need a rhyme, Kick your knees up, step in time
Aurora: Round the chimney! Round the chimney, step in time, Round the chimney, step in time, Never need a reason,Never need a rhyme, Round the chimney, step in time, Flap like a birdie! Flap like a birdie, step in time, Flap like a birdie, step in time, Never need a reason, Never need a rhyme, Flap like a birdie, step in-
Evelyn cutting in: in the cards, And fate is pulling you miles away and out of reach from me ,But you're here in my heart, So who can stop me if I decide that you're my destiny?
*the rest of the Earth-X group starts singing the melody of Rewrite the Stars from the Greatest Showman*
Aaron: What if we rewrite the stars?Say you were made to be mine? Nothing could keep us apart, You'd be the one I was meant to find, It's up to you and it's up to me, No one can say what we get to be, So why don't we rewrite the stars? Maybe the world could be ours tonight
Aaron: You think it's easy? You think I don't want to run to you? But there are mountains, And there are doors that we can't walk through, I know you're wonderin' why, Because we're able to be just you and me within these walls, But when we go outside, You're gonna wake up and see that it was hopeless after all, No one can rewrite the stars, How can you say you'll be mine? Everything keeps us apart, And I'm not the one you were meant to find, It's not up to you, it's not up to me, When everyone tells us what we can be, How can we rewrite the stars? Say that the world can be ours tonight–
Caitlin cutting in: Tonight, tonight, It all began tonight, I saw you and the world went away, Tonight, tonight, There’s only you tonight, What you are, what you do, what you say
*the rest of the Earth-Prime group starts singing the melody of Tonight from west side story*
Winn: Today, all day I had the feeling, A miracle would happen, I know now I was right, For here you are, And what was just a world is a star, Tonight
Caitlin: Tonight, tonight, The world is full of light
Winn: With suns and moons all over the place
Caitlin and Winn: Tonight, tonight, Thе world is wild and bright, Going mad, shooting sparks into space
Winn: Today the world was just an address, A placе for me to live in, No better than alright
Winn and Caitlin: but here–
Dominique: Here's a store that's like no other, If it were, I wouldn't bother *presses the button on the U ring that she just attached to her wand, causing for an umbrella tube to form around her wand and extend and the canopy to form from the tip of the umbrella tube*
*all of the weasley cousins who’re watching eyes widen as they see the umbrella*
Victoire: j'accuse! (a french phrase that’s shouted when someone is being accused of something)
Dominique: *walking around the club room moving the cane exactly like Willy Wonka does in the song A world of your own from wonka as the others start to sing the melody* Chocolate bushes, chocolate trees, Chocolate flowers and chocolate bees, Chocolate memories that a boy once saved…Before they melted away, *grabs Louis and starts walking around the room for a little bit as she dances around like wonka* A world of your own, A place to escape to, A world of your own, Where you can be free… *starts twirling the umbrella* Wherever you go, Wherevеr life takes you, This is your home…A world of your own *lets louis back with the rest of the 62406 group* Hеre is the child that you left behind, Here is the kid with the curious mind, Here is the wonder we used to feel, Back when the magic was real! *points the umbrella up as she casts sparks out of it briefly* A world of your own, A place to go when you're ,Feeling alone, Feeling unsure, Embrace the unknow-own, Enjoy the adventuuure…Let's go strolling in the clouds, Grab a handful, it's allowed, Clouds are made of cotton candy, Just keep your umbrella handy! 'Cause there's a hard rain gonna fall, Humbugs, gumdrops, and aniseed balls, Fireworks bring sugar string, To chewwwwww, All the colors of the rainbow, And some others too. *winks*
Dominique, Iris, Ali, James Sirius, and Leo: A world of our own, a place to escape to, Where we can be free…
Dominique; Wherever you go-o
Dominique, Iris, Ali, James Sirius and Leo: wherever life takes you…
Dominique: this is our ho-ome!
Dominique and Louis: A world of our own…
*just then they end the song*
Deadpool: …uhhh, Earth to Coruscant, you guys know you were supposed to cut in there before the song ended, right?
Ben awkwardly: uhhh, we didn’t have anything…
Dick: what??
Ben; I don’t know any movie musicals yet other than Disney animation
Charlotte: BEN SKYWALER YOU FUCKING LIAR, WE BOTH KRIFFING MEMORIZED ONE SO WE’D NEVER GET IN TROUBLE AGAIN!!!
Ben: *realizes* SHIT–do you guys know the melody of copacabana?
Obi-Wan: ……who doesn’t?
Ben: *groans* I know one we could’ve done
Ahsoka dryly: You’re JOKING
Ben: I wish I was
Deadpool: Ouch! That’s gotta suck! But it’s too late for Coruscant, You may now take the WALK OF SHAME TO THE BAR OF LOSERS!!
Han (Solo): Do you have to keep calling it that!
Deadpool: You know you’re not the best person to be fighting the Bar of Losers allegation “Leia’s Worst decision”!
Dick: if you’ll excuse us for a moment, I need to have a word with my fellow riff off hosts
*Han (solo) flipping him off as all of the people from Coruscant walk over to the bar begrudgingly as the three judges discuss for a couple minutes*
Victoire: *storming over to the 62406 group while the riff off judges are discussing*
Dominique: oh boy, here we go…*deactivates the ring*
Victoire in french: TOI!!! TRAÎTRE!! Je n'arrive pas à croire que tu as volé ma "bague en U" ! C'était là que je paniquais avant d'arriver ici en pensant que je l'avais perdu ! Mais NON, tu l'as volé, voleur !! (YOU! TRAITOR! I Can't believe you stole my "U ring"! That was the I was freaking the fuck out before I got here thinking I lost it! But NO, you STOLE IT YOU THIEF!!)
Dominique: I’m sorry I stole it *removes the ring* here, I was planning on giving it back later, but if it’ll make you feel better you can have it back now
Victoire: *takes the ring* Thank you, but I swear to merlin if you EVER do that again, *darkly* you will not be safe from my WRATH… *cheerfully* alright, good luck guys! *heads back to the bar*
Dick: alright, sorry about that, we needed to discuss some things…And with that we’re down to our top five! Now we were initially going to have several decades rounds, but now we decided to make it all one round since we’re down to our top five, each universe is going to be assigned a decade, you have sixty seconds to pick a song from that decade, your decades will be assigned based on your universe number so I’m going to start with a start with a song from the 50s, and Earth-prime will cut in with a song from the 60s, 62406, you have the 70s, 111605 you’re doing the 80s, 200k your decade is the 90s and finally Earth-X you will be cutting in with a song from the 2000s and you’ll be finishing the round, all of the other rules remain the same, your sixty seconds staaaaarts…NOW!
*meanwhile back at the bar*
Charlotte: Great job you KRIFFING IDIOT, You lost me money, and now I have to make a new bet!
Ben: or you could just not be–who am I kidding, you’re a solo, nevermind
Charlotte: Christian, put me down for seven credits on X
Christian: you know how this works
Charlotte: upfront payment, right *puts down seven credits*
Christian: alright, any bet changes?
Rosie: Well since SOMEONE forgot that they knew a musical song…I’ll have to rebet…put me down for seven galleons on Prime, 62406, and X
Adelynn: we can do tie bets? Alright *puts down seven credits* all of its on let's say…Prime, 111605, and X!
Christian: got it, anyone else?
Ahsoka; *puts in seven credits* same for me, done!
Anakin: Same here! *puts down seven credits*
*obi-wan and padme both sigh dryly*
Rex: I’ve got a bad feeling about this…so what’s the deal with those two?
Steve : fifth dimensional imp and you don’t wanna know…
Mxyzptlk: nice to meet you, as I said before, Call me Mister Mxyzptlk…or Mxy for short
Cody: …well, okay then…oh hey I think the round’s starting!
Stephanie: Jace, how’s the battery looking on the camera!
Jason: we’re looking at three quarters charged, I think we’ll be fine
Dick singing: … Well, it's down at the end of Lonely Street, At Heartbreak Hotel, Where I'll be, I'll be so lonely, baby, Well, I'm so lonely, I'll be so lonely, I could die…Although it's always crowded, You still can find some room, For broken hearted lovers, To cry there in their gloom, Be so, they'll be so lonely, baby, They get so lonely, They're so lonely, they could die, Now, th–
Barry cutting in: … the night has come, And the land is dark, And the moon is the only light we'll see, No, I won't be afraid, Oh, I won't be afraid, Just as long as you stand, Stand by me
*the rest of the Earth-prime group starts singing the melody of Stand by me by Ben E. King*
Barry: So darlin', darlin', staaand by me, Ohhh, stand by me. Oh, stand…Stand by me, stand by me…If the sky that we look upon, Should tumble and fall, Or the mountain should crumble to the–
Sirius (62406) cutting in with September: The twenty-first night of september! Love was changin' the minds of pretenders, While chasin' the clouds away
Iris: Our hearts were ringin' In the key that our souls were singin' As we danced in the night, remember, How the stars stole the night away, oh, yeah…
Everyone from Earth-62406: Hey, hey, hey, Ba-dee-ya, say, do you remember?, Ba-dee-ya, dancin' in September, Ba-dee-ya, never was a cloudy day, Ba-du-da, ba-du-da, ba-du-da, ba-du, Ba-du-da, ba-du, ba-du-da, ba-du, Ba-du-da, ba-du, ba-du-da
Leo: My thoughts are with you, Holdin' hands with your heart to see you–
Sirius (111605) cutting in: you, shyin away
*the rest of the Earth-111605 starts singing the melody of Take on me by A-ha*
Sirius (111605): Oh, I'll be comin' for your love, okay
Sirius (111605): taaaaake oooon meeeee
Aurora; take on me
Sirius (111605): taaaaake meeee oooon
Aurora: Take on me
Sirius (111605): I'll be gooooone,
Sirius (111605) and Aurora: In a day or twooooo
Aurora: so needless to say, I–
Luis (200k) cutting in: I was caught, in the middle of the railroad track
*everyone else from Earth-200k starts singing the tune of Thunderstruck from AC/DC*
Luis (200k): looked 'round, And I knew there was no turning back…My mind raced
And I thought, what could I do? And I knew, There was no help, no help from you…Sound of the drums…Beating in my heart…The thunder of guns, Tore me apart…you’ve been…THUNDERSTRUCK…Rode down the highway, Broke the limit, we hit the town, Went through to Texas, yeah, Texas, and we had some fun ,We met some girls, Some dancers who gave a good time, Broke all the rules, Played all the fools ,Yeah, yeah, they, they, they blew our minds, And I–
Aaron cutting in: I'm doin' this tonight, You're probably gonna start a fight, I know this can't be right, Hey, baby, come on, I loved you endlessly,And you weren't there for me, So now, it's time to leave, And make it alone
*the rest of the group starts singing the melody of Bye Bye Bye by *NSYNC*
Bart: I know that I can't take no more, It ain't no lie, I wanna see you out that door
Aaron and Bart: Baby
Aaron, Bart, Cal, Loki and Lucifer: Bye Bye Bye, Don't wanna be a fool for you, Just another player in your game for two, You may hate me, but it ain't no lie, Baby, bye, bye, bye, Don't really wanna make it tough, I just wanna tell you that I had enough
Aaron: Might sound crazy, but it
Aaron, Bart, Cal, Loki and Lucifer: ain’t no lie
Aaron: You just hit me with the truth, Now, girl, you're more than welcome to, So, give me one good reason. Baby, come on, I lived for you and me, And now, I really come to see, That life would be much better, Once you're gone
Bart: I know that I can't take no more, It ain't no lie, I wanna see you out that door, Baby, bye, bye, bye
Aaron, Bart, Cal, Loki and Lucifer: Don't wanna be a fool for you, Just another player in your game for two, You may hate me, but it ain't no lie, Baby, bye, bye, bye…I'm givin' up, I know for sure, I don't wanna be the reason for your love, no more, I'm checkin' out, I'm signin' off, I don't wanna be the loser and I've had enough
Aaron: I don't wanna be your fool, In this game for two
Aaron, Bart, Cal, Loki and Lucifer: So I'm leavin' you behind
Bart: bye, bye, bye, yeah
Aaron, Bart, Cal, Loki and Lucifer: I don't wanna make it tough
Aaron: Make it though
Aaron, Bart, Cal, Loki and Lucifer: But I've had enough, And it ain't no lie
Bart: Bye, bye
Aaron, Cal, and Lucifer: Don't wanna be a fool for you, Just another player in your game for two, I don't wanna be a fool but it
Aaron, Bart, Cal, Loki and Lucifer: but it Ain’t, No. LIE, Baby, bye, bye, bye
Aaron, Cal, and Lucifer: Don't really wanna make it tough
Bart: Oh oh; I don't wanna make it tough
Aaron, Cal, and Lucifer: I just wanna tell you that I had enough
Bart: But I had enough
Aaron, Bart, Cal, Loki and Lucifer: Might sound crazy but it ain't no lie…Bye, bye, bye…bye bye…
*the song ends*
Dick: Well done guys! All of you
Oliver: next up we have War songs, everyone you have sixty seconds, starting now
*back at the bar*
Stephanie: what the hell? War songs?! How’re they going to do that! There are only like three!
Barbara dryly: Steph, there are more than three war–
Stephanie dryly: Three GOOD war songs babsy
Barbara: …okay you make a point, and there are five teams…okay, how much you wanna bet someone does fortunate son?
Cassandra: no bet! You’re talking about the greatest war song of all time!
Music Meister: don’t forget about goodnight saigon by Billy Joel, that’s a good one
Tim: you’ve got a point there, although that’s kind of a deep pick… anyone else wanna weigh in on this?
MJ: For whom the bell tolls, metallica
Tonks (6246): okay, that’s a good pick…
Stephanie: you know if you guys want in addition to the regular betting pool we could make another one for this round? Everyone has to try to guess what songs for each team, person with the most rounds wins the minipot, this one’s only a five buck bet though, so…*innocently* timmy? how much for the wizards and star wars people?
Tim: okay, Harry potter is Jace’s expertise you know that, but lets just say a galleon and a credit each because the actual number is way too small
Stephanie: Steve, can I get a piece of paper and a pen?
* Steve snaps his fingers and a paper and purple pen appears in front of her*
Stephanie: thanks–oh hey it’s purple! Nice! Alright, what’re the bets…
Ned: knowing mr Lang he’ll probably choose something like for whom the bell tolls
MJ: put me and ned down for whom the bell tolls 200k, Fortunate Son seems to fit the vibe of 111605, Goodnight Saigon…actually swap out fortunate son for Earth-X, 111605 give off the vibe that they’d go for a deep pick like that goodnight saigon…War pigs by black sabbath will probably come up my guess is…62406, and when it comes to the fifth song…let’s go with When the tigers broke free, Pink Floyd, by earth-prime
Stephanie: alright, but we also need to bet on Oliver’s starter song…
Ned: ……isn’t there some song by that old guy elton john, what’s it called…
MJ: …Battle on the western front?
Ned: that’s it!
MJ: Nice pick ned, put us down for that! *they both put down five dollars*
Stephanie: done…
*once all the bets are made*
Stephanie: alright starting off…we have dick coming out with Battle on the western front, Anakin, Tim, Victoire, Sirius, Nikki, Christian, you’re all out…
All of the people who just got out: SHIT
Stephanie: Alright, next we have Prime with……Babs, Azalea, Remus-62406, Roman, Fred, Scorpius, aaaaand, Albus, ya done!
Roman and Albus: FUCK
Babs: DAMMIT
Azalea: SHIT
Charlotte jokingly: I TOLD YOU, you all you should’ve bet never gonna give you up
Stephanie: *snorts* funny, but next up already we’ve got…Goodnight saigon, 111605, that means Fred-62406, Freddie, Lily Luna, Constantine, Tej, and Cesar, you’re out!
Rudy: HIJO LA CHINGADO
Constantine and Freddie: oh BLOODY HELL
Tej: Dammit!
*Lily Luna just slams her fist down on the table*
Stephanie: three songs left…and that’s whom the bells toll from 200k! That means we’re dropping Kate, Bobby, Fives and Sherloque from the potential winners
Stephanie: and with a quick change we have 62406 doing fortunate son! Dropping Susan, James-62406, Cass, Ned, MJ, aaaand Mister Mxyz–what’s his face because I don’t know how to say the full name
Cassandra under her breath: Dangit
Susan: Bloody HELL
Mxyztplk: Darn it! Also just so you know, it’s Mister Mxyzptlk or Mxy, if you prefer
Stephanie: Mxy, got it
Stephanie: one song left…Oh, you MOTHERFUCKERS *slams her fist on the table* …everyone’s out, including me, everyone take their–
Snart innocently: check the paper again
Stephanie: *looks and remember* well shit…you’re right…and with Earth-X doing what I can only presume is the song fighting for america, that means the bets of Snart, Hudson, and–*Realizes* …no…
Jason innocently smug as hell: tim hold this for a second *hands off the camera to tim* well go on, say it.
Stephanie dully: …Jason, are the ones that won, congratulations, go ahead and split up the minipot between the three of you
Jason: and thank you! *jokingly* And I’d like to start off by thanking my family, Tim for completely sucking and getting the bet completely wrong right off the bat, Cass I’m going to skip over because if I do her she might murder me in my sleep
Cassandra: *smiles innocently*
Jason: *continuing with the bit* and I’d also like to thank Damian for making friends with the kid who got the bet right who’s gut I trusted for my Earth-X decision, then I’d like to thank babs, for the very obviously pissed look on her face because of the fact that I won the minipot,
Barbara: Can we get on with this already!
Jason innocently: give me a moment! *takes a breath and gets back into the award show thanking voice* And next I’d like to thank our dear eldest brother richard for bringing us here…And finally i’d like to thank Stephanie, for suggesting we do this bet to begin with, and for handing me my money *puts out his hand*
Stephanie: *flips him off*
Jason innocently: I love you too steph
Stephanie: *groans dryly as she hands over his portion of the money then slides over the money given to her over to snart and hudson* divide it amongst yourselves I don’t know how wizard and jedi money works
Mxyzptlk: I got this *snaps his fingers and in a puff of blue smoke they see suddenly all of the money is replaced with two piles of Earth-X bills* good in all of these new united states!
Hudson: Thanks Steve! Be ready to do that again when Me, captain snart and Mr Pearce win the big pot!
Jason: we’ll see about that, kid, thanks for holding that tim, I’ll take it back–OH SHIT, They’re doing another ATG round! *taking back the camera*
Stephanie; alright, I say we make one final side bet
Barbara: to get back at Jason?
Stephanie: YEP!
Barbara: alright since we know ATG rounds are guaranteed elimination, I say we bet on who’s getting out this round! Jason? Care to make the first bet?
Jason: with pleasure, five bucks on…62406
Rosie: HA, you think THEY’RE getting out?! Fat chance! My money’s on 200k
Stephanie: I agree, only thing that might’ve been stupider would’ve been–
Roman: Earth-X is getting out this round *puts down five bucks* take the damn money
Stephanie dryly: …that…
*tej just dying in laughter*
Brian: *laughing* Roman. Bro. They HAVE GOD!!
Tim: *sighing dryly*
Stephanie: alright–Oh shit, they’ve gone around once already and are looping around, guys we need to make this quick…
*a while later with the others who are still in the Riff-Off, after a couple times around*
Remy: … Who knows how much further we'll go on, Maybe I'll be sorry when you're gone, I'll take my chances, I forgot how nice romance is, I haven't been there for the longest time, I–
Cisco cutting in: I wanna take, Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama
*the rest of the Earth-Prime group cuts in with Kokomo by the beach boys*
Cisco: Key Largo, Montego, Baby, why don't we go? Jamaica, Off the Florida Keeeeys, There's a place called Kokomo, That's where you wanna go, To get away from it all… Bodies in the sand, Tropical drink melting in your hand, We'll be falling in love, To the rhythm of a steel drum band, Down in Kokomo…
All of the Earth Prime Group: Aruba , Jamaica, ooh, I wanna take you to Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama, Key Largo, Montego, Baby, why don't we go?
Barry: Ooh, I wanna take you down to Kokomo
All of the Earth-Prime group: We'll get there fast, And then we'll take it slow, That's where we wanna go, Way down in Kokomo…
Barry: Martinique, that Montserrat mystique…We'll put out to sea, And we'll perfect our chemistry, By and by we'll defy, A little bit of gravity, Afternoon delight, Cocktails and moonlit nights, That dreamy look in your eye, Give me a tropical contact high, Way down in Kokomo
All of the Earth Prime Group: Aruba, Jamaica, ooh, I wanna take you to Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama, Key Largo, Montego, Baby, why don't we go?
Winn: Ooh, I wanna take you down to Kokomo
All of the Earth-Prime Group: We'll get there fast, And then we'll take it slow, That's where we wanna go, Way down in Kokomo, aruba, Jamaica, ooh, I wanna take you to Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama, Key Largo, Montego, Baby why don’t we go…
Ray: Ooh, I wanna take you down to Kokomo
All of the Earth-Prime group: We'll get there fast, And then we'll take it slow, That's where we wanna go, Way down in Kokomo…Aruba, Jamaica, ooh, I wanna take you to Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama, Key Largo, Montego, Baby, why don't we go?
HR: Ooh, I wanna take you down to *making his voice deeper* Kokoooomoooooooooooooooo
*they finish their song*
Deadpool: and wow, what a song, but more Importantly EARTH-200000 IS ELIMINATED FOR NOT JUMPING IN WITH A NEW SONG
Quill: uhh, Where the hell were we supposed to! Half of the song is just listing tropical places!
Deadpool: you see that sounds like a YOU problem, that you can contemplate over at the BAR OF LOSERS
*half of the people at the bar flipping him off*
Scott: c’mon do you HAVE to keep calling it that?!
Deadpool: Yes! NOW WALK OF SHAME THAT WAY *dramatically pointing to the bar as the Earth-200000 group leaves to the bar*
Stephanie back at the Bar: YES YES YES, SUCK IT JASON
Oliver: now for this round, things are going to be EXTREMELY different…now that we are down to our final four, it’s time you knew, that now we’re in the endgame, with only two rounds remaining, so I decided to put a twist on this round…for this round, you’ll need to do a round that’s at minimum quarter of a non-english language, and before cutting in, the person needs to at least get halfway through their song, to which we’ll signal by–
Deadpool: BY USING THIS!! *pulls out a pistol*
Evelyn dryly: you’re joking
Dick sighing: he won the determiner to decide who would do the signal
Deadpool: I call it…THE FUN GUN
Evelyn: why do you call it that?
Deadpool innocently: oh, you’ll see
Oliver: *grunts*…and also before we begin, just so you know, words don’t necessarily need to match up at all this round, especially if you’re doing different languages from the previous group, but now to begin…your time starts…now!!
*meanwhile back at the bar*
Quill: I’m guessing you guys are betting over here?
Christian: yep, you want in?
Quill: what’s the starting bet?
Christian: 30 minimum
Scott: I’ll put in thirty for…can we do tie betting?
Christian: You see, I still don’t know how that’ll pan out, but if you want to sure, knock yourself out
Scott: tie between 111605, 62406, and X *puts down thirty bucks*
Luis (X): same bet for me *puts down thirty bucks* gotta support the other Luis
Rudy: And you questioned me, Cabezon, for putting Selena on the tapes we sent over to help the brujas study up on American music. You know what would be helpful this round? SELENA
Jaime: Okay, it would’ve, but we’re not in this round so it didn’t matter
Rudy: Okay, but it still WOULD’VE if we WERE…
*With the Earth-Prime*
Barry: Okay, I don’t know any songs in a foreign language, Kara?
Kara: the only thing I’d know is Kryptonian, and those are mostly folk songs
Cisco sighing realizing: …dammit HR…
Sara: wha–
Ray: *realizes* Oh my god the presentation…
Sara: What presentation??
Caitlin (prime) and Winn realizing: HR’s Riff-off planning presentation!
Sara: wait hang on, Why wasn’t I invited to this??
HR: I invited you! …try checking for the contact Harrison Wells-19
Sara: *checks her specphone* ohhhhh, that’s you? wait, why does it say 19?? Don’t you live on Earth-prime?
HR: yes, but I’m originally FROM Earth-19
Winn: huh…
Sara: but back to the point, what does the presentation have to do with this
Cisco: *sighing* there was a whole section in the presentation on what to do if there was a Foreign language round…
HR smug as hell: And YOU thought the presentation was stupid
Cisco: yeah, yeah, you were right, let’s get to the point and just do the plan!
Sara: and that is?
HR: hey there delilah
Sara: …HR that song is one hundred percent in english
HR: oh, I’m not talking about the regular version, when doing research on music I found a band that takes songs and puts a certain latin flair into it so to speak, adding spanish verses making it spanglish, or as their main album is called, “make it norteño,” Cisco, I know your heritage is puertorican not mexican, but you speak the best spanish out of all of us here so…
Cisco: yep, I know, I remember the plan, and the song, because you had us learn it
Sara: okay then I guess, let’s do it
*meanwhile with the Earth-111605 group*
Dominique: …okay I know you’re all looking at me Louis and uncle sirius, keep in mind, I don’t FULLY know french
Louis: and while I do fully know, I only know a handful of songs
Sirius (62406): *sighs* alright, I’ll take charge this round–WAIT, I know a popular one, that I KNOW I’ve shown you before! Santana!
Iris: that random old American Rock guy that sings in spanish you showed us from the 70s
Sirius: yep! And any chance you all remember any of song melodies, because I know all of the words
Holly dryly: with how much you listened to that music when I was growing up, I know a good chunk of them
Iris bluntly: I’m pretty sure we all do…
Sirius (62406): Corazon espinado, you do the tune, I’ll sing all of the words…Ronnie, do you know the song?
Ronnie: yep!
Sirius (62406): then we’re good!
*meanwhile with the Earth-111605 group*
Remy: leave it up to me mon amis, I handle da words, just memorize zis melody right here…
Aurora: okay…
*and with the Earth-X group*
Ricky: alright, what song should we do?
Evelyn: What about como la flor?
Lucifer: *thinking about her* Selena Quintanillla, one of the few people to leave the resistance and actually make a good life for themselves, her and her whole family, and she’d still come visit us on occasion and sent us money for support, she even did a couple private shows, poor girl, she had a bright future…
Luis (200k): she did…everyone loved her, even the nazis…
Lucifer: you know I went and found her manager after the incident and let her know what she had waiting for her
Ricky: as you should’ve…also hang on, why the hell are YOU suggesting this evelyn? You don’t know spanish!
Evelyn: well I know the song word for word, it’s the only song I know in spanish, but either way it works, I might not know what it is I’m saying, but I know how to say it
Ricky: *facepalms* HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW SPANISH YET IF YOU KNOW THIS SONG
Evelyn: I DON'T KNOW?! But I’m WORKING ON IT!!
Aaron dryly: look it doesn’t matter that Evelyn doesn’t know spanish, but it’s a popular song, easily her biggest hit, so either way the song works, so unless someone here doesn’t know it…?*waits a second just in case* …No? Okay then, that’s what we’re going to have to do, because we need to get this win
Evelyn: THANK YOU
Ricky: *sighing* alright, fine let’s do it…but you’re not singing it
Evelyn: Wh–and WHY NOT?!
Lucifer dryly: maybe because you don’t know bloody spanish
Evelyn; but I know the song! AND I’M THE ONE WHO SUGGESTED IT!!
Luis (200k): Yeah, sorry Ev, but I agree with Lucifer and Ricky on this one
Nora innocently: Morgan’s fluent in spanish
Morgan: NORA!!
Lucifer: Splendid, Morgan, the part is yours, Now let’s do this
Evelyn groaning: fiiiiine
*when time is up*
Oliver: alright, now, for this round there will be no starting song from us, you’ll be getting straight into it, in order, prime to X, now, begin!
*Earth-Prime starts singing the tune of hey there delilah (EZ Band version)*
Cisco: Hey there, Delilah, What's it like in New York city? I'm a thousand miles away But, girl, tonight you look so pretty, Yes, you do, Time square can't shine as bright as you ,I swear, it's true... Qué tal, Delilah, Aquí estoy si te sientes sola, No temas a la distancia ,Escucha otra vez esta rola, Y sin mirar, Escucha mi voz, es mi disfraz, Irme jamás, Oh, it's what you do to me, Oh, it's what you do to me, Oh, es lo qué haces por mí, Oh, es lo qué haces por mí, What you do to me, Hey there, Delilah I know times are gettin' hard, But just believe me, girl, Someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar, We'll have it good, We'll have the life we knew we would, My word is good, Qué tal, Delilah Queda mucho por decir, Cada canción que escribo, Cada una es para ti, Y nadie más, De mi más te enamorarás, Ya lo verás
Deadpool: *fires his the “Fun gun” into the air revealing a stream of confetti shooting out of it*
Cisco startled managing to keep singing: Oh, it's what you do to me, Oh, it's what you do to me, Oh, es lo qué haces por mí, Oh, lo que me haces a mí, Mil millas cercas no están, Pero hay carros, trenes y más, I'd walk to you if I had no other way, Nuestros amigos se reirán, Pero ellos nunca entenderán, We know that none of them have felt this way, Delilah, puedo prometer, Que cuando esto termine, The world will never ever be the same, And you're to blame–
Sirius (62406) cutting in: Esa mujer me está matando,
*the rest of the Earth-62406 starts singing the song Corazon espinado by Santana*
Sirius (62406): Me ha espinado el corazón, Por más que trato de olvidarla, Mi alma no da razón, Mi corazón aplastado, Dolido y abandonado, A ver, a ver, tú sabes, dime, mi amor, ¿Por favor, qué dolor nos quedó? Ah-a-ah-ay, corazón espinado ¡Cómo duele, me duele, mamá! Ah-a-ah-ay, cómo me duele el amor, ¡Cómo duele, cómo duele el corazón! Cuando uno es bien entregado, Pero no olvides, mujer, que algún día dirás, Ay-ay-ay, cómo me duele el amor…
*deadpool once again fires the “fun gun”*
Sirius (62406): … Ah-a-ah-ay, corazón espinado ¡Cómo duele, me duele, mamá! Ah-a-ah-ay, cómo me duele el amor, Ah-a-ah-ay, corazón espinado, Ah-a-ah-ay, cómo me duele el amor……Cómo duele el olvido, Cómo duele el corazón, Cómo me duele estar vivo ,Sin tenerte a un lado amor…Corazón espinado, Corazón espinado, Corazón espinado–
Remy cutting in: Et si tu n'existais pas, Dis-moi pourquoi j'existerais, Pour traîner dans un monde sans toi, Sans espoir et sans regret…
*the rest of the 111605 group starts singing the song Et si tu n'existais pas by Joe Dassin”
Remy: Et si tu n'existais pas, J'essaierais d'inventer l'amour, Comme un peintre qui voit sous ses doigts, Naître les couleurs du jour, Et qui n'en revient pas, Et si tu n'existais pas, Dis-moi pour qui j'existerais, Des passantes endormies dans mes bras, Que je n'aimerais jamais, Et si tu n'existais pas, Je ne serais qu'un point de plus, Dans ce monde qui vient et qui va, Je me sentirais perdu, J'aurais besoin de toi…
*deadpool once again fires the “fun gun”*
Remy: Et si tu n'existais pas, Je crois que je l'aurais trouvé, Le secret de la vie, le pourquoi, Simplement pour te créer, Et pour te regarder–
Morgan: Yo sé que tienes un nuevo amor
* the rest of the Earth-X group starts singing the melody of Como La Flor by Selena*
Morgan: Sin embargo, te deseo lo mejor, Si en mí encontraste felicidad, Tal vez, alguien más te la dará, Como la flor con tanto amor, Me diste tú, se marchitó, Me marcho hoy, yo sé perder…Pero, ah-ah-ay, ¡cómo me duele! Ah-ah-ay, ¡cómo me duele! ……Si vieras cómo duele perder tu amor, Con tu adiós te llevas mi corazón, No sé si pueda volver a amar…Porque te di todo el amor que pude dar, Como la flor con tanto amor, Me diste tú, se marchitó…Me marcho hoy, yo sé perder, Pero, ah-ah-ay, ¡cómo me duele! …Ah-ah-ay, ¡cómo me duele! …Como la flor con tanto amor, Me diste tú, se marchitó, Me marcho hoy, yo sé perder, Pero, ah-ah-ay, ¡cómo me duele! Ah-ah-ay, ¡cómo me duele! Ah-ah-ay, ¡cómo me duele!
*the song ends*
Oliver: well done, all of you
Dick: now for the final round we’re going with a battle royal, ATG round, it’s just like the other ATG rounds, but the only thing is, it doesn’t end until there’s one team left standing…now…let’s get this started… Here we stand, here we fall, History won't care at all, Make the bed light the light, Lady mercy won't be home tonight yeah…
*meanwhile back at the bar*
Christian: a winner takes all round…welp, I guess that means none of the tie winners are going to win, sorry guys
Hudson: oh we’ll see about that….
Stephanie: Dick literally just said that this would be going on until one team was left standing, there’s no way it could happen!
Hudson: that’s what you think *taking a sip of his root beer* but he also said earlier that in the event of a tie, those style points they’ve been racking up could be used to break it, meaning there IS a way for a tie to happen
Roman: no offense kid, but that’s some bull–crap
Hudson dryly: you can say Bullshit in front of me Mr Pearce, I’ve heard a LOT worse today, and before this
Roman: right, that’s some bullshit! Even if what you’re saying is right, we’d need all four of the teams to tie in style points to win, and they haven’t announced any bonus points since…I don’t even know how long it’s been
Steve : the musical round
Roman: the point IS…we’re screwed, kid
Hudson: just because they haven’t announced them, doesn’t mean they haven’t been tallying them, Oliver said that in the event of a tie they would be revealed at the end who had the most
Tim: Sorry kid, it’s not happening…
Hudson: to that all I have to say is we’ll. See. about. that.
*about thirty minutes later*
Oliver quietly to Dick and Deadpool: do you think it’s time we called it?
Deadpool quietly: yeah, I think it’s time we get to wrapping this up considering we’re already at 200 pages on the google doc
Dick quietly: ignoring that, they have been going for half an hour…alright, let’s call it
Deadpool: *fires the fun gun and it makes a loud bang causing for everyone to go silent* ATTENTION, WE HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT
Evelyn: fucking HELL deadpool, I thought the fun gun was only for the language round!
Deadpool: it was also to get all of you to politely shut the fuck up so we could make an announcement
Oliver: *sighing dryly* after discussion, we’ve decided to end the round here and tally the style points and determine a winner…and In a VERY surprising turn of events, we have a four way tie…
Everyone there except for Dick, Deadpool, Steve , and Hudson: WHAT?!
Oliver: …Earth-Prime, Earth-62406 group 1, Earth-111605, and Earth-X seemingly all have the exact same amount of bonus points, meaning they all placed first, congratulations to all of you…
Evelyn: YES YES, FUCK YES *pulls out a green note and hand it to Morgan* READ IT AND FUCKING WEEP!!
Morgan: What the–*reads the note* …Should Evelyn Tveit of Earth-X win an override card in the first ever multiversal riff off with the help of her team, and come up with a way to hide the identities of her an Aaron Tveit when in public, she may use the aforementioned override card to allow herself and her husband to take a two week vacation to Earth-62406 with the permission of– *pales* OLIVER QUEEN?! YOU ACTUALLY GOT HIM TO SIGN OFF ON YOUR VACATION?!?!
Evelyn: Yep! So you know what that meeeeaanns…
Morgan: oh FUCK, That means–
Evelyn: yep! I’ll talk to Alex and let him know I found our temps, Have fun being the new satine!
Morgan: nooooooooooo
Bart: oh c’mon Morgy, It’s not THAT bad
Evelyn quietly to morgan: trust me, you’ll be singing a different tune after you’re in costume
Morgan dryly quiet: bullshit
Evelyn quietly innocently: trust me, you’ll be thanking me, that costume does things you wouldn’t imagine to men, literally the day after first costume rehearsal I can guarantee you’ll be calling me to thank me…And Bart will be calling Aaron to thank him
*Morgan blushing hard*
Winn: We Won?! I can’t believe it!
Kara: that’s right! We Won!
Winn: wow! We TIED, WITH GOD…this might be one of the craziest things that’s happened to me…and now, I get access to visit you guys more! But again, no asking too much about your future
Kara: I won’t, I promise *hugs him*
Roman back at the bar: holy shit…the kid was right…
Hudson: THATS FUCKING RIGHT THE KID WAS RIGHT, Mxy, if you could!
Mxyzptlk: *snaps his fingers and suddenly three piles of money appear, from the betting pool, one in front of Snart, one in front of Roman, and One in front of hudson*
Stephanie: but…HOW?!?! I mean, Snart trusted you, and Roman got lucky, but you KNEW, HOW?!?!
Hudson smug as hell: The answer…MATH!!! YOU ALL JUST GOT BEAT BY BASIC STATS!!! TAKE THAT SUCKAS!!
Damian dryly: Last I recall, you were the one telling me to calm down when calling your family imbeciles, yet when you do it in a more crude way, it’s okay?
Hudson: oh that’s different, you did it for no reason, I did it because A. I won the bet that and B. almost everyone here, some of your family included, has been belittling me for majority of the night, because I’m a kid
Damian: …touche, Continue
Hudson: thank you, like I said, HELL YEAH, I WIN!!
Snart: I told you it was a good idea to trust the kid
Barbara: why don’t we go talk with the winners
Hudson innocently: good idea
*everyone from the bar goes over to where the others are*
Hudson innocently: *holding the giant pile of cash he just won* hey aunt ev! Hey uncle A! Hey miss stark!
Evelyn: hey hudson did you enjoy–Where the hell did you get all that money?!?!
Morgan smirking: you won didn’t you?
Hudson: yep!
Morgan: how many other winners were there?
Hudson: three, and there were a BUNCH of participants
Morgan: basic stats?
Hudson: Yep!
Morgan: nice work kid!
Aaron: okay, I still need explaining, what the hell happened here?!
Hudson: I won the betting pool! Well more accurately, me, Captain Snart because he was smart enough to trust my bet, and Mr Pearce because of dumb luck
Evelyn: *chokes on air* you PREDICTED…the four way tie?! And with all the right teams?!
Hudson: that’s right!
Aaron: but how?!
Hudson: Well statistically speaking, based on the rosters, there was a 79.336% chance with a 5.2% margin of error of it being a tie between four teams, Earth-X for obvious reasons
Evelyn: musical actors, Lucifer, Morgan, LITERAL GOD
Hudson: exactly, Earth-prime had Mr Allen, Supergirl, Mr Ramon, Mr Schott, and Dr Palmer, which based on their doppelgangers karaoke night performances I had Charles pull up for me to review through Archived Resistance security feeds, I could tell they’d put up a TOUGH fight
Evelyn: Hang on, our Winn can sing TOO?! Why didn’t we call him down here?!
Lucifer slowly: …I didn’t know?
Hudson: then Earth-111605 has ACTUAL BAND EXPERIENCE, so they had BIG odds in their favor, especially with Aurora and Sirius, and based on more archived footage I found out Remy isn’t a bad singer either
Morgan: *smirking* alright, keep going…
Hudson: and finally for the 62406 team I predicted them ending up in the tie position because of Family Synergy, other than Ronnie that is, but I pulled up his archived footage too, also not a bad singer
Morgan: And he lands it! Hustling the other betters! Well done kid!
Hudson: hold on, I wouldn’t exactly call it HUSTLING per say–
Lucifer: oh, no, you hustled them, as someone who’s hustled Many, many, MANY people, believe me, I know a hustle when I see one, which I can definitely respect
Hudson: You DO?!
Lucifer: yes, I do, it’s a good skill to have…*smirking* …who knows, maybe when you apply and end up becoming a spy in a couple years it’ll come in handy, now I need to have a chat with my brother, if you’ll excuse us, Amenadiel? *the two walk away*
Hudson: oh! And I made my first multiverse friend!
Aaron: that’s great! What’s his name?
Hudson: his name’s damian, he’s the youngest of mr grayson’s adopted brothers, and he’s the son of batman, and was raised by assassins–
Evelyn in slight shock: ……I’m sorry, come again?
Hudson slowly: that last part wasn’t important…probably…but he’s alright!
*with Lucifer and Amenadiel*
Lucifer quietly to him: so tell me brother…how serious IS the situation in heaven?
Amenadiel quietly to him: extremely. Don’t worry, I’m working on handling it, but you should know, Saraqael isn’t the ONLY angel who’s siding with Michael, thinking it was wrong for us to have him sent to hell
Lucifer: how many?
Amenadiel: I’m unsure at the moment, the only heavy ones I know for sure are Saraqael, Gabriel, and Jophiel
Lucifer: *snorts* Jophiel?! If Jophiel is the worst I have to worry about then I see no problem…Although I almost feel betrayed considering that Sara and Jophiel were on my side of the rebellion and when I got sent down to hell they didn’t say a word, yet now that we did it to michael, they’re all angry about it?
Amenadiel: I know, I’ve mentioned this to them, it’s not right, however, I am working on diffusing the situation, the sooner the situation is diffused, the sooner you can visit heaven again, I promise I’ll do everything in my power to make sure this is over sooner and you can see your family sooner
Lucifer: alright, I trust you, as always brother
Amenadiel: thank you Luci, don’t worry, I won’t let you down, but I should be going, it was great seeing you as always brother
Lucifer: and you, brother, I’ll message you when I get your override card from Oliver
Amenadiel: you can keep it, I have no need for it
Lucifer: ooh, don’t mind if I do…*takes a breath*...Tell Chloe and ‘rory I said hello for me? And Linda too of course
Amenadiel: *smiles softly* I will…
*meanwhile back with the others*
Oliver: *has the hologram appear by Chewie, Han (solo), Luke, Leia, Charlotte, Ben, Poe, and Rosie*
Leia: …well rosie, it was really nice to get the chance to meet the woman who’s dating Ben
Rosie: Honestly the honor was all mine General organa
Leia: please, call me leia
Oliver: I’m sorry to interrupt this meeting
Charlotte: is there a problem Oliver?
Oliver: I’m sorry, but I just wanted to let you know, it’s time…
Charlotte: *realizes* oh…
Leia: it’s time for the three of us to go back?
Han (solo) innocently: and here I thought I’d have time to embarrass Ben in front of his girlfriend and Lottie in front of her husband
Charlotte and Ben blushing slightly: Daaaaaad
Leia: *smiling softly* Charlotte…I am so happy for you and who you’ve become, and that you’re going to be taking the next step in your life becoming a mother, and Ben…I’m so happy I got to see you return back to the light, even if you have to be somewhere where I won’t be able to see you for a while
Han (solo) awkwardly: Yeah, same here…you know I’m not exactly the greatest with the touchy-feely crap
Charlotte: *snorts* oh we know, it’s part of why we love you
Han (Solo): I’ll miss you…both of you…chewie, thanks for still taking care of the kids
Leia: oh, and Rosie, Poe, do me a favor and keep my kids out of trouble?
Rosie and Poe: Of c—
Charlotte: okay, normally I wouldn’t do something like this in this moment, but bullshiiiit, you two are chaos enablers!
Rosie: ……okay you may have a point there
Leia: *sighing softly* well I’m glad you two at least found your matches
Luke: like your mother said Ben, I’m proud of you for finding your way back, and Charlotte…I want you to know, that for the future, if you ever want to talk to us, there are ways for you to do so in our galaxy, without needing to mess with multiversal forces or whatever
Charlotte: THERE IS?! B-BUT HOW?!
Luke: You, see I COULD tell you that, but I think it’d be better for your to find out for yourself, wouldn’t want things to be TOO easy, would you? …Master Dameron?
Charlotte: I’m sorry did you say, MASTER Dameron?!?
Luke: hey, SOMEONE needs to be a master in the new order you, Rey, Finn and Poe are starting, and I think you’re the most suited for it—well it was really between you and Rey, but the point is, you’ve trained your whole life for this, you’ve earned it kid
Charlotte: Thank You Mas—Uncl—Uncle Master Skywalker, wait no FUCK…you still sure I’m a right fit for the job?
Luke: *laughing* don’t worry, you’ll do fine
Oliver; alright, it’s time
Luke: goodbye, all of you, we’ll see you again eventually
Leia: Like Luke said, we’ll see eachother again someday
Han (Solo): see ya Lottie…Ben…Chewie…
*all three of them disappear*
Charlotte: SHIT, I FORGOT TO ASK UNCLE LUKE SOMETHING!! PINCHE MIERDA(fucking shit), FUCK!!
Ben: Is everything fine? What were you going to ask about?
Charlotte:someone who I’ve been trying to track down……*sights Evelyn and Deadpool talking* …and I think I have a really bad idea…
Poe: What’re you thinking Charlie?
Charlotte: I’ll tell you later, I’ll be right back…
*a bit earlier with deadpool*
Deadpool: *walking over to Evelyn* hey! Tveit!
Evelyn dryly: what do you want Deadpool?
Deadpool: listen, I know you don’t like me–
Evelyn dryly: understatement of the fucking century, no shit I don’t like you
Deadpool: Okay, can you at least TRY to be fucking civil here! I’m trying to do something that’ll benefit your dog!
*evelyn goes silent for a moment as she’s thinking*
Evelyn reluctantly: talk.
Deadpool: look, I know you’re a good pet owner, I can tell that, so I’m going to give you an opportunity here…now I’m guessing there aren’t that many dogs in the resistance? Is that right? Is that right blunt gem?
Evelyn slowly: yea–don’t call me that…
Deadpool: well what I’m proposing is that for the sake of your dog, on my occasional visits to Earth-X, including a couple extra I’ll make, just for your special guy, I’ll bring dogpool around so her and Miles could have some doggy playdates. How does that sound?
Evelyn: *thinking* …for miles…I’m thinking about it…but what do you get out of it?
Deadpool: more cute pictures of my beautiful baby girl dogpool, and I get to keep her happy
Evelyn: ……you really care about her don’t you?
Deadpool: yeah, I do, so, do we have a deal? *puts out his hand*
Evelyn: …well all dogs deserve owners that do…*takes a breath* alright, for the sake of BOTH our dogs…fine, I’ll talk to Aaron and we can schedule some puppy playdates for them *shakes his hands*
Deadpool: you won’t regret this! I promise!
Charlotte: yeah, but I might regret what I’m about to do…
Deadpool: oh HEY char char! You see I’m kind of in the middle of a conversation right now so if you could maybe—
Charlotte: Shut—*takes a breath* it’s important, Wade…
Deadpool: alright, Blunt Gem, I’ll text you the deets…also if you find Dogpool or Jeff could you do me a favor and send them my way?
Evelyn: don’t call me that, but fine…*leaves*
Deadpool: so what ’s the sitch char char…
Charlotte: I need you to find someone for me, from what I understand that’s your job, right? You’re a bounty hunter?
Deadpool: not EXACTLY…I’m a Merc, I find people for money, kill them if that’s what you want, but this is business then, alright, what do you want?
Charlotte: I want you to find someone who my Uncle Luke knew, her name is Miss—err…Mara Jade
Deadpool: You want me to hunt down a Jedi master? Alright, deal, I think I have some tactics that might work
Charlotte: NO, what I WANT is for you to find her, get her location, and take me to her, and you CANNOT TRY TO KILL HER
Deadpool: alright, that’ll be trickier…just so you know, this won’t be cheap?
Charlotte: how bad can it be?
Deadpool: do you have any leads on where she is?
Charlotte: just that she might have used to date my uncle luke
Deadpool: *pulls out a notepad and pen then writes something in it and rips off a piece of paper* this is your estimate, and I did you the courtesy of putting it in your currency for you
Charlotte: *looks at the price* let’s look at this–What the FUCK?! Wade. I am NOT paying you this much for this, I DON'T EVEN HAVE THIS MUCH!!
Deadpool: fine, since we’re somewhat friends, and we saved the multiverse together, I’ll cut you a deal…I’ll take out the usual estimated ammo fees, as well as the killing fee since you didn’t want that anyway, as well as a couple other fees, and I’ll give you the ten percent friends of Deadpool discount–
Charlotte dryly: friend seems like a bit of a str–
Deadpool innocently: Do you want the discount or not Char Char?
Charlotte immediately: NEVERMIND, WE’RE FRIENDS, PLEASE give me the discount!
Deadpool: good choice…*doing some math on the notepad* you’re lucky I need this job since I just lost my ticket to being rich since I just lost the paycheck I got from that speedster, that was going to make me rich to dick on this and The four way tie screwed me over, talk about the rich getting richer am I right? *laughs weakly* …is this manageable? *rips off a piece of paper*
Charlotte: …WOW, that is a difference I wasn’t expecting…alright, It’s a deal! …wait, HOW MUCH DOES YOUR AMMO COST WHERE IT WAS THIS MUCH OF A DIFFERENCE?!
Deadpool: remember I have speedster bullets. Celestial bullets. And antimatter bullets. As well as several other different types of unique and high tech and or magical ammo…Do you think any of that comes CHEAP?!
Charlotte: touche…but either way, you have a deal, mostly because I don’t think you’ll go lower than this
Deadpool: you’re right, I won’t…alright, now how I work most of the time is you pay half within 48 hours, and then I get started, but you should know if you get it to me in 24 hours and if by some miracle I DON’T find them, I’ll give you that half down payment back, and then you give me the second half after the job is done
Charlotte: got it, I’ll talk to poe, and we can get you the money in 24 hours
Deadpool: well then, you have a deal *shakes her hand* I promise you, you won’t regret this General Dameron
Charlotte: if you could maybe NOT refer to me by the General title that’d be great
Deadpool: fine, Mrs. Dameron
Charlotte; that’s it? No Char Char?
Deadpool: Mrs. Dameron, I’m a professional, so until I find your woman, it’s mrs or miss dameron, or just Dameron, gotta keep some level of professionalism
Charlotte surprised: …right…
Oliver: Can I have everyone’s attention! I know many of you are going to leave, but I just wanted to say, once more, congratulations to the winners, you’ll be receiving your override cards as you come into the bar, and for those from Earth-X Lucifer will be collecting yours for you soon, but until then, thank you, all of you, you all did well *just then the hologram stops*
Lucifer into a microphone alright, now, I’D Like everyone’s attention…as most of you know, in just over a week and a half we have the reopening of my club, Lux, and I’d like to formally Invite you everyone here who was in attendance of the riff off to come!
*cheering from most of the people there*
Lucifer: the information is being sent out as we speak, to your specphones, thank you all for coming
Nikki: alright, we should probably be heading back to our Earth
Sirius (6246): you guys go ahead, Lucifer said he needed to speak with me about something therapy related, it won’t be too long
Nikki: …really? Well okay I guess *pulls out her extrapolator* alright, Remus, Tonks, let’s go, Sirius, I guess I’ll see you at home
Sirius (6246): I’ll see you there!
*Nikki, Remus(6246), Tonks(6246) all leave as most of the other people from the multiverse say goodbye start to leave*
Sirius (6246): *sights Lucifer and the Marauders of Earth-111605 and heads over to them* alright, time for why I said I needed to talk with the six of you…so as the marauders already know, I decided to do something special for nikki, and i’m planning a second wedding, one that all of her siblings can attend, the Ghost Marauders are going to help to get Fred in, and Percy’s not a dick anymore, so everyone will be there, but the reason why I’m talking to you now is because I need a band for our second wedding, and Oliver’s agreed to give the ghosts enough power to make sure Fred is there for the whole reception
Lucifer: why, I’d be honored to perform at your wedding, when is it?
Sirius (6246): after looking at the invite for the Lux thing that just went out, I can tell you it’s the day before the lux thing
Lucifer: I see…alright, I suppose Aaron could handle the pre-preparations without me for the day, I’ll do it!
Aurora: and I think You already know we’ll do it
Sirius (111605): Yep! But for now, we’re going home *opens a breach with his extrapolator*
Aurora: bye guys!
*the marauders of Earth-111605 leave through the breach as does Sirius-62406*
*meanwhile back with the Earth-Prime group*
Winn: so that’s it! With my override card I’m going to get an extrapolator and specphone so I can come visit you now whenever I want!
Kara: that’s great winn! I can’t wait to tell Alex and J’onn, they’ll be SO happy to hear about this
Mxyzptlk: *appears with Music Meister* hey guys! I just wanted to come say bye before I left, and say, it was good seeing you guys
Kara: it was good seeing you Mxy, and feel free to come by National city and pay us a visit any time you like! The superfriends would love to have you at our next game night
Mxyzptlk: tell you what, I’ll be there, snacks are on me! *snaps his fingers as he’s suddenly wearing a sombrero made of tortilla chip and salsa in it as a takes a piece of the chip hat and takes a bite of salsa then snaps his fingers* but NOT with that, that salsa was terrible *gags* I don't know where that came from
Kara: *laughing slightly* deal, Winn? Game night next week?
Winn: I’ll be there!
Barry: ……so you really meant it when you said you weren’t going to do anything…
Music Meister: yep! None of you had any lessons for me to teach you, but I, like Mxy have to go, so I’ll see you all sometime in the future, Mxy, I’ll see you tomorrow?
Mxyzptlk: I’ll see you then Double M
Music Meister; until then you guys, just remember… Think of your fellow man, Lend him a helping hand, Put a little love in your heart… *with the last part kind of echoey as he just fades until he disappears*
Mxyzptlk: fun guy, well, Kara, Winn, I’ll see you both at game night, but for now I’m off to the 60s, the 1860s that is, byyeeeeeee *snaps his fingers and disappears*
*with Steve and Lucifer*
Steve : well this has been eventful
Lucifer: you’re telling me…
*Dick comes over with the rest of the batfamily*
Dick: hey Lucifer! Thank you again for letting me bring my family, I just wanted to let you know that we’re leaving, but you’ll be seeing some of them again, at the Lux Reopening, thank you again for the gracious invitation
Lucifer: it was no problem Dick, thank you all for coming, and I look forward to seeing you at the reopening
Dick: *opens a breach* it’s been great lucifer! *walks through the breach*
Steve : I should probably get going too, I need to take care of some business, byyyeeeee*snaps his fingers and disappears*
Lucifer: well this had most CERTAINLY been eventful
* BONUS SCENE*
* after the riff off that night, in lux, at a booth*
Lucifer: alright hudson, what is it you wanted to talk to me about?
Hudson: *in a suit* Yes, have a seat, and prepare to be wined and dined!
Lucifer: *laughing softly* alright, you’ve caught my attention, love the look by the way…you know I thought you’d be a little older before this happened but okay *sits down in the booth seat across from him
Hudson:*not paying attention the the last part* thank you…
Lucifer: if this is about what I think it is, we can end this early, no I’m not lowering the age limit for the spy program, or giving you an exception so you can join early
Hudson: that’s not what this is about…*innocently* moooooooom?
Lucifer: Wait, Robyn’s here?? ROBYN I SWEAR I DIDNT LET HIM INTO THE PROGRAM!!
Evelyn: *snorting loudly as she brings over a whiteboard on wheels* I’ll be back with your food in a minute
Lucifer: I–what’s the meaning of this?? Why did you call Evelyn your mum?
Hudson; to explain my plan, so my plan is if you’ll allow me, I’d like to join the lux operation as…*pulls out a laser pointer and points at a picture of him sitting in a booth then uses the laser pointer to point out the booth in the club* the random ass kid sitting in the booth waiting for his mom to get off of work, that mom being in this case, Evelyn pretending to be my mom and me pretending to be her son, under the name Billy Rose
Lucifer: right, as you know already, this is Aaron’s operation, so you’d have to ask–
Hudson: Uncle A? I already did, and he said yes, that is as long as it’s fine with you
Lucifer: I see…and your real mother? What of her?
Hudson: she said it was fine as long as Aaron said yes
Evelyn: he’s not lying about the aaron thing, I was there *coming back with a silver platter*
Hudson: see!
Lucifer: and you Evelyn, you’re fine with this?
Evelyn innocently: that doesn’t matter right now, what matters is are YOU fine with this?
Lucifer: you’re here aren’t you? Helping him?
Evelyn: *innocently* yeah, because I need to practice my waitressing, which by the way…Grilled cheese a la Adams, with two root beers *sitting the tray down revealing two grilled cheese sandwiches with two root beers on the side*
Lucifer: ……you’re lucky grilled cheese is one of my favorites
Hudson: *chokes on air* it is??
Lucifer: yes, it’s a long story
Hudson: sorry I couldn’t get any wine, Christian wouldn’t give it to me even though I told him it was for you, and I didn’t think to have aunt ev ask
Lucifer: *laughing softly* you know I’ve been wined and dined before, but this is the first time I’ve been Soda and Dined *takes a sip of root beer* I can at least appreciate the home brewed root beer, *takes a bite of grilled cheese and drops it back onto his plate in shock as his eyes widen*
Evelyn: Is everything alright Lucifer?
Lucifer: did you make this sandwich yourself evelyn?
Evelyn; yeah? Why? You like it?
Lucifer: what is in the sandwich?
Evelyn: can’t tell you that, family secret between me and the only other person who knew it
Lucifer: and that is?
Evelyn: my aunt Elizabeth?
Lucifer: *laughs* of course! That explains it! The secret is buttered toasted bread with a hint of yeast and a few pinches salt in it, right? To bring out the flavour of the cheese
Evelyn extremely confused: ……okay how the HELL do you know that?? That’s an Adams family secret!
Lucifer: that’s because before it was an Adams family Recipe, it was a Decker family recipe, created by Lieutenant John Decker…you know when your aunt was younger, she used to take cooking classes, taught by Chloe, and I remember, the decker grilled cheese was one of her most popular dishes that she’d teach, and I know the secret so well because it’s the same grilled cheese she made for me on one of our first dates, *starting to spiral slightly* and the same grilled cheese she’d make for our daughter growing up, the same grilled cheese that was HER favorite……*his eyes glow red briefly but turn back to normal color quickly*
Hudson: …high general morningstar? Are you alright?
Lucifer: *takes a breath and clears his throat* I’m sorry, we were discussing business, weren’t we, don’t worry, I’m fine, but now tell me Hudson, why should I say yes? Hm? *eating the sandwich*
Hudson: well, you see, my reasoning is simple, High General. people. Don’t. Notice. Kids. the amount of gossip I’ve heard about people in the base is insane, because of how unnoticed I sometimes go
Lucifer: oh? Do tell…
Hudson: exhibit A. Did you know that Captain Samantha Guajardo has been stepping out on her husband for the last YEAR?
Lucifer: yes, practically the whole base knows that except for Agent Alberto Gujardo himself because of how busy he is with missions, poor chap
Hudson: well did you know she was stepping out on him with his brother?
Evelyn and Lucifer; WHAT?!?!
Lucifer; Samantha’s been doing the sideways tango with Julian??
Hudson: yyyyep
Lucifer: bloody hell, well isn’t that interesting…
Hudson: but more importantly, exhibit b. UNCLE A *points to a picture of aaron scarfing down a cherry pie*
Lucifer: *snorting softly* Where did you get that picture?
Hudson innocently: not important…but My first point was originally going to be that uncle A is agent thunderbird, and a part of your “Luci’s Angels”
Lucifer: but Aaron revealed up the day you were going to make this presentation to him that he was agent thunderbird, but I’m impressed you knew about the angels
Hudson: correct, and thank you, so finally that brings me to exhibit C. the fact I was I was also in the room when he and another member of Luci’s angels were discussing angel business about eight months ago, just you didn’t realize it…that member being…CHRISTIAN CHANCE AKA AGENT TAPSTER *pointing to a picture of drunk passed out christian next to a drunk passed out Aaron, Evelyn, Ricky, Sam, and Luis in a circle*
Lucifer: okay, that is impressive, but how the BLOODY HELL did you get these photos
Hudson: like I told uncle A, that’s for me to know, and you to never find out, but that aside, what do we say? Can I join?
Lucifer: *thinking about it* ……I suppose you could be useful to this project…alright, fine…under the condition that you can also convince morgan to join the project, which knowing you that won’t be hard, but for now you can tell Aaron I said yes
Hudson excitedly: Deal! Thank you High General!
Lucifer: alright, now if you’ll excuse me, I have business to take care of…and Evelyn, thank you for the sandwich *finishes the root beer and leaves*
Hudson: okay, I’m extremely happy about the Job, but should you–
Evelyn: go check on him, yep, that was the plan, I’ll be back in a little bit to help with cleanup *leaving*
Hudson: okay, see you then aunt Ev! *takes a breath* …I’m really getting my first mission…*happily takes a bite of grilled cheese*
Notes:
And that was the riff off! Next chapter is the DnD session for the Dwarf Hoard (another one of the groups playing multiversal dnd) but until then, this has been a Padjake written story, now, Mischief Managed!