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“Alright! Is everyone here?” Nami said.
“Only Zoro and Sanji aren’t here.” Chopper said.
“Great! We can start the meeting.” Nami clapped her hands together.
“Huh? Why are we having a meeting without them?” Usopp asked.
“Because we’re making a bet on them,” Nami said.
“What bet?” Franky asked.
“Whether they’re dating or not,” she replied with a sly grin.
A beat of silence.
“You mean… the two strongest aside from Luffy on this ship? The two men who fight every single day—one a hopeless flirt with women, and the other who only talks to swords?! THEY’RE DATING?! ” Usopp exploded.
“I don’t know, okay!” Nami shouted back, “It’s just a guess.”
“Well, I think Cook-bro and Zoro-bro are not dating,” Franky chimed in, flexing his arms. “They always fight, and I’ve had to fix the walls and floors more than once after their fight. ”
“I agree with you, Franky. I can’t get through the idea of those two being a couple.” Usopp said.
“I agree with Franky and Usopp!” Chopper exclaimed. “I always have to treat their wounds.”
“Well, I think Cook-san and Swordsman-san are together,” Robin said calmly. “They trust each other in battle. They rely on each other, even if they pretend not to.”
“I agree,” said Jinbei, folding his arms. “When Zoro was injured, Sanji stood by his side for hours. And the same when Sanji was injured, Zoro also stayed by his side every time.”
“Yohoho! Young love.” Brook laughed, “If only I had eyes to see.”
“But Sanji loves women!” Nami argued, throwing her hands in the air. “He faints at the sound of a female voice. I doubt he likes men.”
“And Zoro? That guy barely even cares about humans. I can’t imagine him in a relationship ,” Usopp added.
Everyone turned to Luffy, who was lying flat on the floor, chewing meat and listening.
“Luffy,” Usopp said, “What do you think?”
Luffy grinned. “Zoro likes Sanji, and Sanji likes Zoro.”
The room went silent again.
“…So you do think they’re dating?” Usopp asked cautiously.
“Yup!” Luffy beamed. “They’re funny together. Sometimes I see Sanji give Zoro food when no one’s looking. And Zoro trains near the kitchen now. Maybe he can smell lunch.”
“We should come up with plans to see if they are together or not,” Nami said.
“Good idea, Nami,” Usopp said.
“So, since Luffy, Robin, Brook, and Jinbei think that they are dating, you guys think of a team name,” Nami said. “And the rest of us are a team.”
“Well then, our team should be called Team lovers,” Robin suggested.
“Yohohoh. I like it.” Brook said.
“Then, our team should be called Team Rivals,” Usopp suggested.
“Sure,” Nami said.
“Now, time to plan!” Usopp said.
The next day on the Thousand Sunny, two secret operations were fully underway.
Team lovers and Team Rials all sit down in the kitchen to observe Zoro and Sanji.
“Mossy~” Sanji said, in a sweet voice that had never been heard before, “Your breakfast, rice balls.”
Team lovers thought Zoro was going to be embarrassed. And the team rivals thought Zoro was going to shout at Sanji. However, Zoro looks at Sanji and says, “Thank you, cook.”
Then, Sanji nodded and turned around to cook breakfast for Luffy.
Meanwhile, all of the team except Luffy look very shocked.
After breakfast,
“Did Zoro just say thank you to Sanji?” Usopp said in surprise.
“You heard it too!” Nami replied.
“It seems like they are dating,” Robin said.
“Wait, wait, wait. We can’t just say they are dating just because Zoro said nice things to Sanji.” Nami stopped Robin, since she doesn’t want to lose the bet. “How about we start our plans and observe them first? “
“Sure,” Jinbei said.
“This is gonna be SUPER,” Franky shouted.
Plan 1 — Love letter Planned by: Usopp & Nami
Nami and Usopp waited until Zoro came down from the crow's nest.
“Okay. Usopp, have you finished the love letter?” Nami asked.
“Yep! “ Usopp said. “My beloved mosshead. Your swordsmanship may be dull, but your abs are divine.”
“My, what a lovely love letter you write, Usopp-san,” Robin said.
”Wonderful! “ Nami said. “Now, hurry up and put it in the crow nest before Zoro comes back.”
“Done,” Usopp said proudly.
“Now we just wait and see.” Nami smirks.
Later, Zoro went back up to the crow's nest, while everyone gathered near the crow's nest.
“Shitty Cook!” Zoro shouted, climbing down, his face turning red.
“Zoro’s face is red,” Usopp said.
“Yohohoho! Looks like they are dating.” Brook said.
“What do you want, Shitty Marimo!” Sanji shouted back, coming out of the kitchen.
“What the hell is this?” Zoro yelled, holding the letter Usopp wrote.
“Huh? I didn’t write it.” Sanji looks at the letter Zoro is holding.
“Really? Then, why did it have your name on it?” Zoro yelled.
“Like hell I would write a love letter to you,” Sanji yelled back.
“ Do you want to fight, shitty cook,” Zoro yelled.
“Oh, you’re on mosshead,” Sanji shouted back.
“Okay, maybe they are not dating,” Brook said.
Later, the two of them start fighting on the ship.
“I’m going to get my tools to fix the ship.” Franky cried.
“I’m going to the infirmary to treat their wounds later.” Chopper cried.
“See, they’re not together.” Nami said, looking at Robin, “It’s only one plan, Nami-san. They may change after.”
Plan 2 — Making Sanji jealous. Planned by Robin and Jinbei
After the ship landed on some land,
“Okay, here, Sanji, the money for food,” Nami said.
“Thank you, Nami Swan,” Sanji said. “Mosshead, come with me.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know—”
“Yohoho! Sorry, Sanji-san, but Zoro-san and I have plans today!” Brook suddenly cut in, sliding an arm around Zoro’s shoulder.
“Huh?” Zoro blinked, confused.
“Usopp and Franky can help you carry groceries if you need,” Brook added smoothly.
“But we don’t—” Zoro tried again.
“YEAH, Sanji. We’re helping,” Usopp jumped in, looking pointedly at Brook and Zoro before turning toward the cook. “Let’s go.”
After the three left,
“Well then, let’s go, shall we?” Brook said.
“Wait for us! “ Luffy shouted with Jinbei beside.
After the four of them left,
“Well then, Robin and Chopper. I’ll leave the ship for you two to watch over.” Nami said.
“Okay,” Chopper shouted.
In the market,
Luffy skipped beside Jinbei as they walked past fruit stands, admiring all the snacks.
“Oh! Meat skewers!” Luffy grinned, pointing excitedly.
Jinbei chuckled. “Don’t worry, Captain. I’m sure Sanji-san will buy it for you.”
As they strolled, they passed a few locals who waved excitedly. One group of girls whispered and giggled as they passed.
“Did you see him earlier?” one girl whispered.
“The green-haired one with the swords?”
“So cool!”
“And he barely said anything—mysterious!”
Jinbei raised an eyebrow. “It seems Zoro is quite the celebrity around here.”
“Huh?” Zoro blinked in confusion.
Luffy laughed with a mouthful of bread. “Zoro always gets attention. Back on the last island, too, remember? That waitress tried to give him a love letter.”
Jinbei nodded, smiling. “Yes. And he just nodded and asked where the sake bar was. Truly a man of focus.”
“I think that flower shop girl tried to kiss him,” Luffy said thoughtfully.
Just a few stalls over, Sanji, holding a cabbage in his hand, heard Luffy and Jimbei.
“…What?” he muttered, eyes narrowing.
He leaned in slightly, pretending to inspect a pile of oranges, but his ears were locked in.
Jinbei continued, “It is impressive. Zoro says little, but the ladies admire him. There’s a mystique to him, I suppose.”
Luffy snorted. “Yeah, and the scars. Chicks dig scars, right?”
Jinbei chuckled. “Indeed. He may be silent, but women seem drawn to that.”
“You two shut up,” Zoro said in annoyance.
“Sanji, are you done picking?” Usopp asked, holding the shopping bags.
“Huh? Oh yes, I want three of these, please.” Sanji said.
Back in the sunny…
When it’s time for dinner,
“You two look tired,” Nami said, looking at Usopp and Franky.
“I’ll never go with Sanji to buy food anymore,” Usopp said.
“Oh! Oh!” Luffy said, raising his hand. “And Jinbei saw Zoro fans today!”
“Fans?” Chopper asked.
“Yeah! Girls! Lots of them!” Luffy grinned. “They were whispering about how cool he is.”
“Some even mentioned how handsome he was,” Jinbei added with a teasing glance toward Sanji.
“He’s popular wherever we go,” Luffy said. “Remember the waitress, Jinbei?”
“Or the florist,” Jinbei added. “And the blacksmith’s daughter on that snowy island…”
Sanji’s jaw tightened.
“Oh?” Robin tilted her head, sipping tea. “Zoro-san seems to attract quite the following.”
“Yohoho! A silent charmer, our swordsman,” Brook laughed.
Sanji slammed a plate down a little harder than necessary. “Well, good for him. If he wants a fan club , maybe he should cook his own damn food next time.”
“Ooooh…” Usopp whispered. “Sanji’s jealous.”
“I AM NOT JEALOUS!” Sanji barked, turning red.
Zoro, who had just walked in and caught the tail end, smirked lazily. “You okay, Cook?”
Sanji turned on his heel. “I don’t care what you do, Marimo. Go date a florist for all I care.”
Zoro blinked. “...Huh?”
Robin and Brook exchanged glances.
Jinbei grinned. “Success.”
“How dare you get all the girls' attention! “ Sanji yelled, kicking Zoro.
“Or not” Jinbei said.
“Hey! “ Zoro said.
“And they went back to fighting.” Nami signed.
Observe 1 — Zoro sleeps on Sanji.
The day was calm aboard the Thousand Sunny, the sound of waves gently rocking the ship as Franky and Usopp wandered toward the kitchen, looking for a late afternoon drink.
As they entered, they both froze.
There, on the small sofa tucked against the kitchen wall, was Zoro—fast asleep with his head resting on Sanji’s lap. The swordsman looked peaceful, even content, while Sanji sat back comfortably, flipping through a cookbook with one hand and absentmindedly stroking Zoro’s hair with the other.
Franky blinked. “Uhh… Cook-bro?”
Sanji didn’t look up. “Yes? Do you need something?”
“Me and Usopp want a drink,” Franky said, still staring.
Sanji closed the book slowly, glancing down at the sleeping Zoro before carefully sliding out from under him. He gently lifted Zoro’s head and laid it down on a cushion before walking over to prepare the drinks.
“Wait a sec,” Sanji said, grabbing glasses. “You two can help me give these to the others.”
Usopp took the tray without a word, too stunned to respond.
Once they stepped out of the kitchen and into the hallway, Usopp peeked back over his shoulder—and his eyes widened.
Sanji was back on the sofa, Zoro’s head once again in his lap. This time, the cook leaned down and whispered something in Zoro’s ear.
Zoro’s lips twitched.
Then, he laughed.
“W-Was that…a laugh?” Usopp whispered, his face pale.
“I can’t believe I’m saying this,” Franky muttered, “but I’m starting to think they are dating.”
Usopp turned to him with wide eyes. “We gotta tell the others.”
Franky nodded, gripping the tray like a man with a mission. “Let’s move.”
Observe 2 – Zoro comments on Sanji’s food.
That evening, after dinner, Robin, Brook, Jimbei, and Luffy gathered in the lounge to casually observe Sanji and Zoro, who were already in the room.
Sanji stood near the counter, lighting a cigarette, while Zoro sat cross-legged on the floor, sharpening Wado Ichimonji with slow, deliberate strokes.
The tension between them was immediate.
“Oi, cook,” Zoro muttered, not looking up. “This fish was overcooked.”
Sanji snapped his head toward him. “You better be joking, mosshead. That was the freshest cut I served tonight.”
“Still tasted like cardboard.”
“Maybe your taste buds are as dead as your brain.”
Jinbei’s brow lifted. Robin quietly sipped her tea. Brook stopped humming.
Luffy leaned closer to Robin, meat still in his mouth. “Didn’t Usopp say they’re dating?”
Robin’s eyes narrowed slightly. “Doesn’t look like it.”
Zoro let out a scoff. “What kind of chef wears a suit every day anyway? Are you going to a funeral?”
“Yeah. Yours.” Sanji snapped back.
Brook laughed nervously. “Yohohoho… That’s just their dynamic, right?”
“They don’t seem very loving right now, from what we heard from Franky and Usopp,” Jinbei muttered, scratching his chin.
Zoro stood, sheathing his sword, and walked past Sanji with a hard shoulder bump. Sanji turned his head sharply, puffing smoke.
Sanji turned sharply, fury in his eye. “Oi! What the hell was that, Shitty Marimo!”
“Shitty Cook.”
“Mosshead.”
“Curlybrow.”
“Seaweed Brain!”
“Eyebrow Freak.”
They stood chest to chest now, eyes locked in an intense, fire-laced stare. Steam might as well have been rising from the floor.
Robin leaned toward Luffy. “This doesn’t feel like romance.”
Luffy tilted his head. “Maybe they’re fighting because they like each other?”
“I don’t know,” Brook said slowly. “That felt like real anger, not flirty tension.”
Jinbei sighed. “Perhaps we were wrong.”
Robin glanced back at Sanji and Zoro, who were still yelling at each other.
Robin folded her arms. “Maybe they aren’t together.”
However, the next few days,
Team Rivals always saw the two of them acting as if they were dating, but Team Lovers saw them acting as if they hated each other.
Until they had had enough,
“That’s it, “ Nami said. “ZORO! SANJI! Come here!”
“Coming, Nami-swaaaan~! What do you need? Dessert? A foot rub? Sparkling tea?” Sanji called, bursting through the door dramatically with a tray in hand.
Zoro followed with a yawn. “What now?”
“Sit,” Nami ordered, pointing to two chairs across the table.
“Next to the mosshead?” Sanji grimaced.
“Yes,” Nami said firmly.
“What? No way! Why would I sit next to that seaweed-for-brains muscle lump?” Sanji protested.
“Just sit down, cook,” Zoro sighed and plopped into the chair.
“Fine. Only because Nami-san asked~.” Sanji huffed and sat beside him.
“So what’s this about, witch?” Zoro muttered.
“Don’t call Nami-san a witch, moss for brains!” Sanji smacked the back of Zoro’s head.
“Ow, what is necessary, shitty cook!” Zoro shouted.
“ENOUGH!!” Nami shouted, stopping the two of them before it turned into a fight. The two immediately went quiet and sat stiffly like schoolboys being scolded.
“Let’s get to the point,” Nami said, pinching her temples. “Are you two dating?”
“Huh?” Both looked “surprised.”
“No, we’re not dating,” Zoro answered coolly.
“Are you sure ?” Usopp narrowed his eyes.
“Definitely,” Sanji nodded. “I mean—me? And the mosshead? Never.”
“Then why were you cuddling in the kitchen last night?” Franky asked suspiciously.
Sanji shrugged. “Zoro likes sleeping there. He’s basically a guard dog.”
“But Zoro’s face turned red when he saw the love letter,” Chopper blurted out—then gasped and slapped his tiny hooves over his mouth.
Zoro’s eyes narrowed. “How do you know it was a love letter? I never read it out loud.”
“Umm…” Chopper fumbled.
“Unless…” Sanji leaned forward. “One of you wrote it.”
“Okay, okay!” Usopp waved his hands. “We’ll tell you the truth. We… we were having a bet.”
“A bet?” Zoro echoed flatly.
“What kind of bet?” Sanji asked, voice dangerous-smooth.
“To see if you two were dating or not,” Nami admitted, crossing her arms.
There was a pause.
Then—
“Pfft. “Sanji leaned over and whispered to Zoro, loud enough for everyone to hear, “Should we tell them, dear?”
Zoro gave a lazy smirk. “Why not?”
He turned to the group.
“Fine, and the cook I am not dating,” Zoro said.
“Ha! See, I told you they are definitely not dating, you can’t go a day without fighting ....” Usopp said.
“But we are married,” Zoro added while Usopp was talking.
“They….WHAT?” Usopp suddenly realizes what Zoro said.
“What did you just say, Zoro?” Nami shouted.
“ We’re not dating. We’re married.” Zoro said.
Silence.
Dead silence.
Then—
“WHAT? “Everyone screamed in unison.
“Y-you—MARRIED?!” Chopper’s eyes bulged.
“Since when?!” Nami choked.
“But you two don’t act like a married couple!” Franky said.
“We don’t ?” Zoro questioned.
“NO!” the whole crew shouted again.
“But Mosshead always naps in the kitchen,” Sanji pointed out.
“And you always fight,” Brook added.
“Well, that’s just our routine,” Zoro said, as if that explained everything.
“And as you can see,” he continued, gesturing vaguely, “we never hid our relationship.”
“Huh?!” Nami frowned.
“I always call him darling, love, dear, or my mosshead,” Sanji said with a proud smirk. “Sometimes even in front of you.”
“And I kiss Sanji every morning,” Zoro added with a shrug.
“HOW HAVE WE NEVER SEEN THIS?!” Usopp yelled.
“I have,” Robin said calmly, sipping her tea. “I just assumed you two were hiding it for privacy.”
“Same,” Jinbei added.
Sanji smiled. “Well, guess what? That means you all lost the bet.”
Sanji smirks, “So pay up, except for lovely Nami-san and Robin-san.”
“Thank you, Sanji,” Nami said.
“My money…” cried Usopp.
Later, the crew asked millions of questions about their relationship.
“See daring. Told you our plan works.” Sanji said, resting in the crow nest with Zoro.
“Yes, I can see that. So can I use the money to buy booze?” Zoro asked.
“Maybe after I buy some clothes first, if there is some money left. I’ll let you use it to buy booze,” Sanji answered.
“…Hey,” Sanji said, “Should we tell them?”
“Tell them what?” Zoro mumbled.
“You know,” Sanji smirked. “ The other thing. ”
Zoro snorted. “Nah. It’s fun messing with them.”
The day when the crews are discussing the plans…
Meanwhile, high above in the crow's nest, the alleged couple in question lounged peacefully, completely unbothered by the chaos below.
“They’re loud,” Zoro muttered, arms lazily wrapped around Sanji, who was tucked against his chest with a cigarette between his lips.
“They are betting on us if we are dating or not,” Sanji said.
“Huh? We’re not dating.” Zoro blinked slowly, looking at Sanji.
“You’re right. I thought you already told them ages ago, ” Sanji said.
“I did?” Zoro replied, genuinely unsure.
Sanji raised his eyebrows, “Are you sure? Because from what I am hearing down there, they seem pretty clueless.”
“Okay, maybe I didn’t tell them.” Zoro stared blankly.
“I should have known.” Sanji signed, resting a hand against his forehead.
“So what do we do now?” Zoro asked.
“Well, the crew seems to be planning on seeing whether we're together or not,” Sanji replied. “Which means they’re going to start testing and spying on us.”
“Great, that means they’re going to bother us.” Zoro groaned.
“Hey, let’s guess who will find out the truth first,” Sanji said with a smirk on his face.
“Or…” Zoro’s grin turned downright evil. “Let’s prank them all.”
Sanji blinked, then laughed. “You’re evil.”
“Says the actual schemer,” Zoro said, leaning in and kissing him softly on the lips.
“I know how to prank them. Want to hear the plan? ” Sanji pulled back with a teasing look.
“Sure, my love,” Zoro replied.
Sanji leaned in, lips brushing Zoro’s ear as he whispered. Zoro’s grin grew wider with every word.
“Well then,” Sanji said, rising to his feet and stretching. “Shall we begin, daring ?”
“Of course, love,” Zoro replied.
Sanji flicked his cigarette away and dusted himself off. “Come on, moss. I’ve got to make dinner before Luffy starts sniffing me out like a bloodhound.”
“Fine,” Zoro said, climbing down from the crow's nest.
The war between Team Rivals and Team Lovers had begun.
And Zoro and Sanji were playing both sides.