Chapter Text
He hadn't expected the force to be this cold or to be this void of anything, really. So bleak of darkness that despite his multiple attempts to blink the darkness away, he finds that he cannot shake off the void. Blinding him in any sense possible.
He had been so blind to too many things, he knows he should have done things differently, been there more for those who relied on him.
The choices he had made hadn't always been the right ones, even after so many years. He couldn't dwell on all that he had done wrong, things he had misinterpreted or misjudged. Things that he should have seen coming, changes that he didn't see until it was too late, too blinded by loving someone.
A part of him can't understand where he had gone wrong or where it had gone wrong. He had tried his best to do good and to raise his padawan but he had unfortunately failed to do so, so many things had been against him and those he had cared for.
How could he have given so much, lost so much and yet, had survived it all, just for it to all come to an end at his former padawan's hands. He should have known that his former padawan was going down a path that would lead him to the dark side. They shared a house for stars sake! How had he been so terribly blind to what was happening to his padawan, right under his nose!
how could he have let it come so far that his own padawan had been manipulated by the dark side and it's dark lord. he should have seen the signs, instead of shrugging his padawan's behavior out of the way. it had only made things worse, instead of trying to keep his distance and the professionalism between master and padawan, he should have been more attentive to his padawan, tried to find the root of it instead of reminding his padawan that his behavior and emotions weren't the jedi way.
"Obi-Wan..." a voice calls out in the cold distance.
he can't see a thing around him, nothing but the coldness of an endless void that he can't seem to shake off.
if he was given another shot, if he got to go back in time to fix the things he had failed to see. maybe he could stop his own padawan from becoming that he swore never to become. to stop the sith lord from dragging his padawan down the path of darkness.
"Obi-Wan!" the voice shouts this time, closer and more sternly then before.
a gasp leaves his lips, looking up at the ceiling around him. trying to understand what is going on, for a second, he feels too disoriented to understand where he is and what is going on. a face hovers above his, blurry but his gut tells him that this man is familiar.
his lungs expand and deflate, painful. it takes him a few seconds to realize that his joints have stopped aching like the old man he is, his back no longer screams from all the assault he had put it under in all those years of serving in the jedi order and beyond. his knees feel as new and like he hasn't used them more than a couple years.
however, the back of his head is pounding. he must have taken a massive hit on his way to become a force ghost. he can't remember there was anything he had smashed his head against. he shouldn't be able to feel pain at all, he's a force ghost, that means he is dead and the dead don't feel pain.
slowly and with each blink, his vision begins to clear of the blur that has clouded him.
a face begins to appear in his vision, someone he hadn't seen in so many years. the long hair, which is a light brown shade and slowly graying over the years he was his padawan. his blue eyes stare at him with worry and confusion.
"Master?" he asks his former master in confusion, shouldn't he look different as a force ghost?
a smile curls at the edgers of his master's lips. "glad you could join us, my young padawan." he tells him, his voice lacing slightly with worry. "you should have told us you felt unwell, no need to faint in the middle of the cruiser."
Obi-Wan pushes himself into a seating position, trying to take in what is going on around him. he gets the distinct feeling that this isn't the force, nor that they are force ghosts. he tries to rake through his brain, trying to understand where he is and in which time he is because his master died shortly after he had met Anakin.
"i must have hit my head quite well, master, i can't seem to recall where i am." he states, looking around the cruiser, something about it feels out of place. something is telling him that he shouldn't be here and yet, he knows he also should be here. but he can't explain the feeling any better.
his master frowns slightly, tilting his head to the side and raising a brow high enough that it gives him the creeps. "you sure did, gave us quite the shock." his master holds his hand out for him. "although, you must know that we are on a mission for the supreme Chancellor." his master tells him curtly.
he slips his hand in the waiting palm of his master, being pulled to his feet in a swift motion.
his head feels foggy, slight dizziness takes control of his brain and eyes. Not this day, not this mission. This had led him to Anakin. His master would die not too longer after Anakin had come into his life, and matter how much he loves that boy. He had become Anakin's master the same day as he had become a Jedi knight, he was ill prepared for it all.
His heart suddenly stops beating and his face falls, had he just gone about 32 years back into time? Had his wondering thought just come true and send him back into time to undo what the dark lord had done from this moment? Why now? What could he change in this moment that could change for the better?
"Right, i remember now, master." He tells his master in a worry. "However, i had the most peculiar dream, master." He tells his master, looking at him as his master's blue eyes gaze back at him with a frown. His master isn't one for the funny feelings and the Jedi code. He rather follows his instincts.
"Do tell, my young padawan." His master looks at him oddly, as if he is trying to decipher him. In that moment he realizes that he should shield his future memories from his master's prying force signature, that probs at his mind for answers.
he takes a shaky breath. "it was a quite disturbing dream, Master." he says, his voice trembling slightly. he doesn't know what he should say or can say. "however, i wish not to speak of it in worry that it might become truth."
in truth, he is quite afraid that if he voices out what he had gone through, his master would think him crazy. try to tell him that he shouldn't dwell on the dreams of the future as they don't always come to pass. he knows that dreams of the future aren't set in stone and he knows he didn't dream any of what he remembers of the future, he knows that will come to pass. something that he hopes isn't inevitable and he can help solve.
his master seems to give him a disapproving look, and he feels like his master had caught a glimpse of what is going on inside his head. a slight sliver of what had plagued him in his so called dream, that is nothing but bad memories.
he probably should have just kept his mouth about his memories and not present them as a nightmare. something that had plagued his padawan every night, to the point that he came crying to him and wake him up, time and time again and all that he had done was send the boy back to his bed and tell him the same thing over and over again. 'it's just a dream, Anakin.' he should have comforted the boy more than he had, it could have spared so many fears that plagued his padawan.
something he wouldn't let happen a second time. a mistake that he would avoid, given the chance.
"very well, my young padawan." his master says, before spinning on his heel. his cloak billowing along, almost like his master is being dramatic on purpose. "shall we proceed to the cockpit? or are you standing there all day?"
the urge to roll his eyes at his master is barely concealed as he musters the strength to follow his master into the cockpit, drawing his hood over his head like his master does. staying behind the captain and the pilot.
he remembers this day, and the things that had happened. he should have treaded with more caution, he should have been better and stopped all of this from derailing into the catastrophe that it had become. he will do better now, now he has all the details and things he needs to keep Anakin from the dark side. he will do better in that regard.
In the cockpit of the cruise, the captain and pilot manoeuvre closer to one of the battleships. slowly proceeding towards the blockade of battleships in front of them. he remembers the mission, they were going there as ambassadors for the supreme Chancellor.
his mind suddenly halts, Sheev Palpatine is not yet the chancellor of the galactic republic. maybe he can play it in his favour and stop that from happening for a few year, so he has more time to keep Anakin away from the man and tell the young boy not to take everything that a politician says to heart. that they lie to gain what they want, even if it destroys the other person.
he would bet his life on the fact that the quality time that Anakin and the chancellor Palpatine had between them, he would bet his life on the fact that the chancellor had done things to Anakin that he hadn't told him. things that would have made him see hot white rage and he would have struck down the man in cold blood and without any regret. but he never had any evidence that it had happened but Anakin had slowly become angry, frustrated and didn't like people touching him. within weeks after Palpatine had started those talks, Anakin refused to change in front of him.
he will make sure that-...
"Captain." his master speaks to the captain in the chair in front of them.
it pulls him out of his train of thoughts about the chancellor and the creepy relationship that Anakin had fallen under.
The Captain turns to his master sitting behind her on one of the chairs, one that he had forgotten were there. taking the seat behind him, he stares out of the wind shield of the cruiser at the many battlecruisers. his heart jumps into his throat, he can't kriff up this time. he needs to do better and hopefully he can keep the young wide eyed innocent little boy that was so kind for the world, the kid that Palpatine had destroyed and formed into Darth Vader.
"Yes, sir?" the captain replies, her face turning back the moment she had spoken. her focus back on getting them landed.
his master eyes the captain briefly, before gazing back to the battlecruisers in front of them. "Tell them we wish to board at once." he replies to the captain, not averting his eyes from the battlecruisers again.
"Yes, sir." the captain replies again, turning to the comm link on the cruisers board.
The captain looks to her view screen, where Nute Gunray, a Neimoidian trade viceroy, waits for a reply. he had come to learn this man's name at the briefing and even after so many years, he still remembers the name. something he should have forgotten so long ago. his force slightly pushing the memories and information from that time to his mind and making him remember those things. and he appreciates it.
"With all due respect for the Trade Federation, the Ambassadors for the Supreme Chancellor wish to board immediately." the captain announces over the comms to Nute Gunray.
"Yes, yes, of coarse...ahhh...as you know, our blockade is perfectly legal, and we'd be happy to receive the Ambassadors." the man says, it's giving him the creeps. something in the force is telling him to be cautious.
he had seen so many things already that he knows to be cautious about a lot of things. to know that even the people who seem on your side, could turn out to be a sith lord in disguise. his fingers pull on the seam of his cloak, pulling and flexing his fingers in them. a habit he only had inherited after the Jedi had fallen and he had nothing to do but be plagued with nightmares upon failing Anakin and he knows that he had failed him. he had failed to see the signs of a kid in pain and in need of someone to hold him while he was afraid and alone.
The screen goes black, ending the comm call between them and the federation battleship. Out the cockpit window, the sinister battleship looms ever closer. wanting this to be over with, he wants to get to Anakin, take the kid away from there and hide him from the chancellor. he will do everything in his power to stop Anakin from going to the dark side, even if he has to give his own life to stop that from happening.
his mind is wondering so far, and so frequently, that he almost worries that he can't keep his focus where it should be.
"i can feel you lose focus, my young padawan." his master whispers softly to him, leaning over the arm rest of his seat to be closer to his ear. to speak without the pilot or captain hearing what they are saying.
"i'm sorry, master." he apologises to his master, but he can't bring himself to be sincere about his situation. "i got a lot on my mind." he continuous saying, trying to keep his mind from letting anything pass his defences and for his master to pick apart on.
but his master raises a brow up. "i can feel your worry, my young padawan." he says before leaning even more closer to his ear. "if the little glimpse i have seen, you worry for a young boy, we are yet to meet, who will bring the destruction of the galaxy." he voices so softly that he fears he misheard his master.
he tries to shake his head. "it's just a nightmare." denying the thing his master had said and seen in his mind.
but his master tilts his brow up higher. "but it is not, my young padawan. you have seen things that are yet to happen, memories that have yet not come to pass and i will reassure you, the force does everything with a reason. so fear not your secret is safe with me, even if you don't want to talk to me about it. know that i will always listen to what you have to tell me." his master tells him, a reassuring smile taking over his features.
he shakes his head at his master. "in my memories, you don't have long to live." he says in a sad tone.
the memory of that faithful day flashing through his eyes as he watching his master die before his own eyes. he wants to shake those memories off, trying to hide the fact that he will go through his master's death a second time. "we will figure this out, my young padawan. we will figure this out."
he wants to deny that fact, to tell him that the things he has seen will happen. "the boy, master, he's the chosen one-..." he says but falls silent, not knowing how to explain the fall of his own padawan. how much effort he had put in it but enough to say that he did his absolute best. "i failed him and senator Palpatine, who was chancellor at that time, managed to persuade him to the dark side and revealed himself to be the sith lord that orchestrated the fall of the republic." he says in one breath, too quiet for anyone to pick up but his master.
his master frowns. "i see." his master says, seeming to think it over. turning his eyes to the landing dock that is closing in. "we'll keep that from the council. but also keep it from the boy, as i assume he became your padawan."
he nods his head at his master. "yes, i did my best but failed."
"hmm..." his master says, scratching his beard lightly. "let's continue this conversation some time later, we have a mission to focus on and it would be wise to put your worried thoughts about that boy on pause for now." His master instructs him in a kindly way, leaning back into his own chair, his eyes casted back out the window and at federation battleship that's becoming awfully close now.
The pilot steers the small space cruiser into the docks in the enormous main bay of the Federation battleship. His eyes scan the amount of droids around the bay, it sends hik funny feelings. He feels on edge, mostly since he can't screw up this time.
Once the small cruiser has landed on the surface of the docking bay, his master stands to his feet. His eyes meeting those of his master, who walks past him and to the lowered ramp.
His mind is a thunderstorm right now, never had his mind been this chaotic and swirling with things that will happen. He will have to meditate on the way back to the Jedi temple. With a soft sigh, he gets onto his own feet and follows after his master. Leaving cruiser ramp and they head down the bay to a set of doors.
His stomach twists, he feels like he has forgotten something. Something crucial that is supposed to happen but he can't put his finger on it.
The walk across the bay is decently short, his hood falling slightly too low over his head and clouding the upper part of his vision. He feels anxious, he doesn't really know how to go about this without letting the future play out in the same way. He doesn't want to lose everyone again.
The door slide open, making a hiss sound as they go to the sides. They must look like two darkly robed figures, a suspicious look if you ask him. Not at all welcoming but neither does this Nute Gunray make them feel welcome either.
On the other side of the door is a droid. "I'm TC-14 at your service. This way, please." The droid says in a monotone female voice, pointing to the right hallway and begins to lead the way.
They move off down the hallway and towards a door, the walk through the halls and towards he remembers as the conference room is not long but far away from their cruiser that a quick escape is out of the question. It makes him feel uneasy, he knows something will happen before they need to make a quick exit of this battleship, but it won't give him the right memory.
A door slides open, and the two of them are led past the threshold and into the formal conference room by the droid. Who stops right past it and he and his master turn to look at the droid.
"We are greatly honoured by your visit, Ambassadors. Make yourselves comfortable. My master will be with you shortly." The droid bows before him and his master. The droid backs out the door and it closes.
His master lower his hood and looks out a large window at the lush green planet of Naboo. While he follows suit after his master. The two look out of the window while a whirlwind of emotions and thoughts race through his mind.
He might have been given a second chance, but how will he change the things that happened before. How will he stop his padawan from joining the dark side and falling into the clutches of the dark lord.
A bad feeling probs into his side, pulling on it until he can no longer ignore it. He had felt this feeling before, but even then, he couldn't make sense as to why he felt this, what was causing this disturbance within him. He briefly thinks that it might be Anakin, but pushes that thought away.
"I have a bad feeling about this." He voices out his bad feeling.
He turns to look at his master, who folds his arms over his chest and looks back at him. A frown growing over his features. "I don't sense anything." His master replies.
He doesn't know how to describe it, the feeling isn't making any sense. And Anakin wasn't the source of it the last time. Maybe it's everything that's to come. "It's not about the mission, Master, it' something... elsewhere... elusive." He says, and it somewhat worries him.
Had his gut been telling him something was going to go bad, and he had never thought to find out? Or maybe it was indeed Anakin that it was centred about. Maybe he should just leave it for now, it's not part of the mission.
He shakes his head lightly, shaking off the thought, deeming it not part of Anakin. He shouldn't sense that so far away. The boy is still on Tatooine, his heart breaks, still a slave. He will have to leave his mother soon, maybe he could get a deal with his mother in it.
"Don't center on your anxiety, Obi-Wan. Keep your concentration here and now where it belongs." His master tells him, as they move further into the room.
His master is right, he should keep it in the here and now, and yet, he can't help but feel that he also should be mindful of what is to come. He had seen what the galaxy is reduced to if the dark lord gets his hands on the boy. On his Anakin.
He feels a little conflicted. "Master Yoda says I should be mindful of the future..." he says to his master, it was good advice that Master Yoda had given and he should have done more with it. But he had also listened to his master.
His master turns slightly to face him, still leading the two through the room. ".....but not at the expense of the moment. Be mindful of the living Force, young Padawan." His master explains, calmly as they head to another window.
He hadn't been mindful enough of the teachings that his master had given him. He had done everything he could to help Anakin but the boy had also been extremely stubborn and refused to do a lot of things. Like meditation, something he will force his future padawan to learn.
He has missed the times where Anakin was a bubble of sunshine in the temple, always trailing after him and trying to impress him and he realised later that he should have praised that more. He shouldn't have listened to the masters and show little affection. Anakin just thrived better on affection and praise.
He shakes his head lightly. "Yes, Master." He replies as the two walk the last bit of distance towards the window at the far side of the room. "how do you think the trade viceroy will deal with the chancellor's demands?"
He had heard this once before but for the life of him, some details of his past hadn't been preserved in his mind somewhere and he genuinely wants to know how his master thinks his will be resolved. It had been 32 years since this moment, he can't remember everything that had happened so long ago. Despite the fact that the force tries to help him.
"These Federation types are cowards. The negotiations will be short." His master replies to him.
The two of them fall in silent, neither sure what to say now that they are entirely alone in the conference room. He should know that this had taken long enough before they got ambushed. He sighs and heads for the table.
He should have realised that most things will be going the way they went before, he should realise that everything is going the way he remembers it if he doesn't change the things he had done, in order to change the outcome of these things. He misses his Padawan, at least would have something to tell him.
His master takes a seat at the end of the table, staring at the window for a brief second. "This future you experienced." His master begins, drawing his attention to his master. "What happened for the force to send you back here?" His master asks, a brow raised sceptically.
"A lot, i don't know how to explain it all." He admits to his master, he doesn't even know how he should make this better, how to stop Palpatine from getting his hands on Anakin.
His master raises a brow at him. "How about the near future." His master explains to him.
He nods his head slightly, feeling like he is about to take a pop quiz or some other trial. But the look in his master's eyes isn't judging but more trying to understand him. How had he already screwed up, his master wasn't supposed to know any of this.
"We meet the chosen one, soon." He comments, he doesn't know why he said it that way. "It's a lot actually and i'm not sure if this is a good place to speak about them."
His master smiles slightly, nodding his head. "That's a wise choice, but we will speak about this on the way back to the Jedi temple. It could he crucial if i know some of the things. Maybe that could make a difference." His master says, before turning his eyes back to the window.
A moment of silence passes through them and he finds himself staring at his hands. They're smaller than he remembers and less scarred from battles and training his padawan. He had missed those early years of training his padawan, when it was all fun and games. Before a war came knocking on their door and Palpatine had his hands on his padawan.
He opens his mouth. "Promise me, no matter what, you won't ever leave the boy within touching or hearing distance of senator Palpatine. He...i suspect he did some things to my future padawan that changed him for the worse." He pleads his master.
His master breaks into a small smile. "You have my word, young padawan." His master says, too casually for someone who has just found out that his padawan has been send back by the force from the future.
He frowns at his master. "You're awfully calm about this, that your padawan has come from the future and all." He says folding his arms over his chest.
The waiting becoming a tedious task and he had always prided himself in his patience but it is seeming to thin the longer he waits for these two people to come and he sadly knows that they actually aren't gonna come at all.
His master doesn't avert his eyes from the planet of Naboo. Keeping his concentration on the lush landscape that he can see from the battleship. "The force works in many mysterious ways, it's not a coincidence that it brought you back here, young padawan. It's where things had gone down hill in your memories, the things you blame yourself for. My death for example." His master says, with wide eyes he turns to his master and his heart falling.
beating rapidly in his chest, pounding loudly in his ears. "you snooped in my mind?" he asks his master, a pang of betrayal flips his stomach in a nausiating feeling. his master had gotten past his defenses and snooped through his mind.
his master bows his head down. "i had no choice, my young padawan." his master explains to him, a look of shame on his face. "you were unresponsive to anything, so i used the force to identify what was bothering you."
he feels his heart plummet, his master had seen all his memories. the future that will become nothing but a battle ground and destruction. him doing his best to keep Anakin in line and only realising what was happening in front of his nose when it had become too late. he couldn't stop it anymore, how the jedi order fell and how much Anakin hates him and wants him dead. he will not let it happen this time.
he sighs, this has gone bad too quickly. what is next? Anakin will only be focused on him instead of his little crush on Padmé Amadala? that would be something, however, he can't go and change everything. Anakin will end up falling in love with his future padawan. what if his master survives and his master will take Anakin as his padawan?
"promise me, master, that the boy will be my padawan." he pleads with his master. "i want to do it right this time, i had failed him and i know where i went wrong. i had let him down and i wasn't there for him in the way he needed me, i won't make that mistake again. i won't let him fall to the dark side again." his heart racing in his chest, he need to do it right this time. he knows what his padawan needs and where he should look out for.
his master sighs. "you're a changed man, my young padawan, alas, i won't stand in the way of your wish. he is lucky to have you as his master, but do not forget that you can always come to me." his master says, looking back at the window. "just so you know, i won't leave you alone this time."
a heavy silence falls over the two, he can only slightly nod his head at the information that his master had given him. the promise that he will let him take Anakin as his padawan and that he won't let himself be slain off by a sith this time.
his mind is racing with so many things, things he wants to quiet. images of the war, of Anakin's body burning before his eyes. he wants to curl up into a ball, Anakin safely within his arms to stop the world from hurting them. to stop the galaxy from demanding too much. he won't hold Anakin back again, it had only fueled the boy with suspicion and unrest. he had rebeled and felt held back, he had created a wedge between them. he knows that the council shouldn't be told about Anakin being the chosen one, nor Anakin himself. it had put too much on his little shoulders as a kid.
he couldn't remember it taking this long the last time. but somehow, things had already become different.
"Is it in their nature to make us wait this long?" he asks his master worried, he remembers that thing had gone south when a droid had walked in with drinks.
The door to the conference room slides open, and the very droid that had led them here, enters with a tray of drinks and food. heading towards their table, his mind and body are telling him it won't take long before it will go down hill from here.
his master snaps him out of his thoughts. "No... I sense an unusual amount of fear for something as trivial as this trade dispute." he answers to his padawan.
the droid walks over to him and he takes a drink, despite his better judgement and his memories. The droid then walks over to his master who takes a drink before the droid leaves the room again. leaving the two to enjoy their drinks as he takes a sip from his drink, wanting this to be over and done with. he wants to have little Anakin within his sight, to make sure that no one else can destroy his innocent padawan this time.