Chapter Text
Jack was tired. Physically, and especially mentally. The tour had been one long roller coaster, and though he did not regret it, he was relieved that it was over.
Everything that could have gone wrong, did. That was not unusual for them, but this time was particularly frustrating because they had no breaks- the moment a lighting issue was resolved, there was a sound problem. The moment that was fixed, one of the crew was sick. It was beginning to feel never-ending, and now that it had actually ended, Jack was entirely depleted of energy.
He was thankful that he had his brothers to rely on. Adam was likely to get as overwhelmed as him, which was understandable, and allowed them to commiserate together. Ryan, though, took things slowly and calmly, which always helped Jack to calm down himself, and he was particularly grateful for that.
Jack was grateful to Ryan for a lot, in fact. Sometimes he wanted to show him how much, but he doubted he ever could. He did not feel as if he had much to offer him, aside from what he suspected were increasingly annoying bear hugs and quips and playful shoves that never actually conveyed the depth of his feelings.
When they arrived back at their house, Jack felt his entire body begin to relax. Finally, he could breathe.
Ryan set the assortment of things gathered in his arms- a jacket, a bottle, some leftover food- on their counter, sighing with exhaustion.
Jack threw an arm around his older brother. “Going to bed already?”
Shrugging Jack’s arm off of his shoulder, Ryan replied, “yeah. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Goodnight.”
“Oh. Okay.” Jack’s stomach sank. Ryan suddenly seemed more distant than usual, even though they had been chatting and laughing on the ride home. Maybe he was reading too much into his tone, but Jack was too exhausted to ask.
Still, after Ryan had gone to his bedroom, Jack stayed in their living room, half-awake and anxious. He scrolled on his phone for a while, but it was not enough to take his mind off of his worries.
After nearly an hour, Jack set his phone down and walked to Ryan’s door. He knocked lightly. There was no response. He felt the doorknob.
It was locked.
Why?
Panic bubbled up in the back of Jack’s mind. Why did Ryan need to lock him out? What had he done wrong?
He knocked again, then again, each time a little louder. His emotions subsided immediately when he heard Ryan’s faint voice. “Yeah. Hold on.”
There was a click, then the door slowly swung open. “What do you want?” Ryan asked, rubbing his eyes wearily.
For a few seconds, Jack simply stared. His brother stood, shielding his eyes from the light of the hallway that seeped into the dark room. He was wearing grey boxers and nothing else, and his hair was a mess.
“I can’t sleep,” Jack blurted out, and it was mostly the truth. “Can I come in?”
Ryan stepped aside and let Jack enter his room. “Do you need to talk?” A note of concern in his question put Jack at ease.
“Nah. I just want to sleep in here. If that’s okay.”
Ryan climbed into bed again. “I guess.”
Jack felt his chest tighten as he watched Ryan curl up and close his eyes. He was undeniably cute, but Jack knew that was still an unusual way to think about his own sibling.
Jack followed Ryan into bed, laying an arm over him.
Ryan noticeably tensed. “Come on, Jack, stop messing around. You woke me up. I’m tired.”
Jack scooted closer. “It’s the only way I’ll be able to sleep,” he responded. “I’ve been really anxious lately. I don’t want to be alone.”
“…Fine.“ Ryan always relented to him. He was naturally acquiescent, especially with Jack, and it rarely took more than a little gentle insistence for the younger brother to get his way.
Jack smiled to himself as he felt his brother relax. He did not allow himself to fully relax with him, though. It wasn’t until he inevitably heard Ryan’s breathing slow and knew he was asleep that he wanted to fall asleep, too.
Before Jack did that, though, he waited, hovering over Ryan apprehensively, until he worked up the nerve to plant his lips on his neck. It was a kind of test for himself, to see if it would elicit more of the strange feelings he had been experiencing lately.
It was more intense than he remembered a kiss could be. He pressed his lips against his cheek, his shoulder, his back- lightly enough to not awaken him, but firm enough to really feel the softness and sweat of his skin. For the first time in years, a rush of heat coursed through his tired body, a mix of arousal and anxiety that beat in his chest, filling his mind with wild thoughts, and leaving him breathless.
Jack rolled onto his back, with butterflies in his stomach and an unwanted- yet impossible to ignore- erection.
𝘖𝘩, 𝘯𝘰.