you were mine (but were you?)

by Forward_beckon_rebound

Summary:

•Luxanna Renée Crownguard a Demacian girl, a cheerleader for the demacian knights, a straight A student who fights her way to being the top student, the prom queen, the model student, and a ballerina •

☆Jinx (Power) felicity Lanes a Zauntie girl, some how is an A student, a singer in a Riot Grrrl band, known for her protests, known for her pranks and gitter bombs, a teen mom who got pregnant, by the guy who raped her at 10☆

Cheerleader Lux who cares more about cheer and her grades then her well being, Weird girl Jinx who has to may screws loose, raising her 5 year old daughter at 15 years old, meet during a football home game for the Zaunites

Notes:

Jinx and Lux are both 15 years old!

Jinx and Vi aren't close, yet they look almost like twins if their hair wasn't dyed and if they had the same body structure.

Jinx is a recovering addict and she also is recovering form an ED so please be wary, I will try my best to portray these both but if you have any tips plz let me know.

Silco and Vander are together but they did divorce for 3 years when jinx was 9 and got back together when Jinx was 13

Vi is 20 claggor is 19 and Mylo is 17

Chapter 1

Chapter 1 I'm sorry I know I wasted your time

 

 

The bus was cramped, kids sitting two to a seat, perfumes and hand creams mixing to create a nose burning scent. A girl she had know in passing was sitting next to her, the girl, Sylvie was hanging half way off her seat twisted around to chat with her friends.

 

Lux keep her eyes down, her right hand achinly griped the pencil that was begining to indent her pointer finger from the non stop writing. 

 

Lux had an essay due next week, but next week was state testing. Lux knew that she wouldn't have time to be able to finish her 30 page essay, on why the Demician government was such an important part to how it's people function. 

 

Instead of reading, she wrote for the 7 hour bus right to the outskirts of Zaun where her team the demacian knights would play against the Zaunites.

 

                     *****************

 

The bus skitted to a hard stop on the cracking concrete that the Students of Zaun high or formally just known as the Undercity, as the Zaunties didn't have a mascot nor the money for anything but the bare minimum. 

 

Lux had done a study on the Undercity,it's people and how they interacted.Lux had found a huge family tie, between the community's helping each other when times got extra hard,unlike it's sister city.

 

Lux was deeply relieved when her fellow cheerleaders filled off the bus. The exhaustion showing on each of her girl's faces.

 

Unlike the other cheerleaders Lux stayed in her seat until everyone was in a crowed outside the bus.Lux being the caption of the cheer squadwas in charge of making sure their was no stragglers. 

 

Her body protested silently from the 3 hour drive. Luxs hips felt as if they were filled with Lava. Her knees like rusty wheels,being over worked through out practice. Lux sucked it up, shaking out her legs,beganing the decent to the back of the bus glancing seats and rechecking on her way back.

 

The old bus creaked as she stepped off. Lux adjusted her shirt, as she walked to the center of the small crowd. 

 

Lux clapped her hands,her hands numb from writing but the sting was nice "Girls listen up."

 

Lux hid her exhaustion behind a thin mask of a smile. Lux was dreading this part knowing there might be some back lash later. Lux began her instructions, her words as sweet as honey and as perfect as a daisy.

 

"There will be 4 girls to each room! There are 6 room. You may choose your roommates and rooms, but please leave the smallest room for me. I still have quite a bit to do before the match in 4 days. Oh before I forgot, I will be Emailing the schedule." lux projected her normally soft voice to a much louder voice she used for cheer.

 

Lux watched as the girls scrambles to make groups before scarring off to find a room.

 

Lux made extra sure each girl had a room with roommates they liked before beganing her decent to the smallest room at the very end of the hall.

 

                     **************

 

Luxs heels clicked against the old concrete floors of the small run down dorms provided to the cheerleaders. Lux knows that the football plays had rented a hotel in Piltover a few miles east, but she didn't have the energy to talk to their coach about the unfair housing. But she had this aching feeling to make sure her girl's got the best

 

Lux hummed an old demician song her mother had hung. She had a faint memory of her mother singing, Her mother song back when Lux needed help dressing or doing her hair up. 

 

Lux often wonders if her mother enjoyed helping her. As thoses songs weren't song from a loving perspective but from regretfullness of what she was born as.

 

Lux had this horrible habit of getting lost in thought, her mother tried to shake it outta her. It didnt help that Lux always looked at her f-

 

THUMP

 

Lux bumped into another person landing knee first onto the unforgiving concrete 

 

" Watch where your going you Demician bi-." a raspy feminine voice hissed. Her voice catching as they locked eyes

 

Luxs heart thumped at the deep rasp the women had, lux throw her head to the side, burning blush taking over, her blonde wavy hair fell in front of her face but luckily she was saved by her head band from ruining her make up.

 

Her breath stopped. In front of her a pale, skinny women who had to be no more then 5'2, with long vibrant blue hair in long thick braids that pooled like ropes on the ground. The girl had a slightly crooked nose and a grin that must have hurt,pulling at the edges of her face

 

"The hell you looking at blonde" the girl rasped her voice less hissy.

 

"O oh my...im...im so sorry! Are you ok" Lux stressed finally snapping out of the trance the girl put her in.

 

 Lux helped the surprisingly weightless girl up off the ground. The girl, her age, had small hands with thin cold finger. Small prick marks and bruises covered the mostly flawless fingers which were long for such a small hand. Luxs breath caught as the girls feet planted on the floor.

 

Her girl was clearly punk, but not like the punk on the streets of piltover or noxis but the true punk of bilgewater and Zaun. Outfits made from scraps, accessories had crafted by children with mouths to feed. Shoes so worn it they were sewn. Make up so random it fit. 

 

The girls black shirt looked as if it had been cut right after her breasts. With bleach or in Zauns case chemicals, was a big X stained in the center. There was random patches of cloth in spots worn so bad it fell apart.

 

 Her pants, more like shorts, were 3 sizes to big. The grey jean shorts stopped at the knees, and were much like the shirt in ways they had many spots of sewn in purple. It looked as if the patches were once a part of a circus tent.

 

The girls boots, once old working boots, had been sewn,duck taped, and glued so may times her mother would have had a seizure.

 

Lux had then noticed that the girl was wearing... make up? May people thought Zaunites were to poor to be hygiene,much less wore make up. But this girl had sliver and purple eyeshadow,marker eyeliner,mascara and old pink lipgloss.

 

Before the girl could get a word in lux rushed to her room her heart pounding like demacian war drums.

 

She thought she was over this phase. 

 

 

 

Chapter 2: •I was tired soft spoken but now I'm wired•

Summary:

Rough mornings•thoughts of a blue haired girl•practice•meeting a litte girl.

Lux waking up: oh god someone kill me

Lux during lunch break: thank God I got through that first part. Of course we weren't given good meals

Lux meeting the little girl: I don't know you put you put im mentality adopting you onto the team f your parents

Notes:

Should the next chapter be jinx pov or should I keep it just Lux pov?

Chapter 2 i was tired soft spoken but now I'm wired

BEEP BEEP BEEP

Luxs alarm screech in her ears like a unwanted cat. Demanding her to awake.

Lux picked her phone up, a newer model, a birthday gift from her brother in the marines, the phone case a baby blue.

Her ears thanked as the earshattering alarm was turned off.

7:34 am

Stood bold and bright again the background of her team. A picture taken when the season had began, after their first win. Lux was profusely glad that photo had been taken it reminded Lux who, or like what she played for.

Luxs bones jello like as the disassociation tried to take over. Her skin weights, suffactioning and sticky as she stares at the stained, cracking celling that Lux wouldn't be mad at if it decides to collapse.

Lux imagined the head line "Ex model Luxanna Crownguard daughter of Agatha Crownguard,cousin to the head of the Demacian crown, killed by faulty celling in an old Zaunite building!"

Saddly her delusions didn't come true. The singing ring of her phone echoed in the emptiness of the small room.

Mother. 503-***-****
The caller ID sent bile up her throat and her stomach to drop. Lux knew her mother would be pissed. Her mother had been adamant that lux stayed behind, even when being the caption.

Lux was to exhausted to answer and anger welled deep in her stomach as it was likely her mother had wanted her to stay so she could be set up on another date

5 minutes later, she peeled herself of the firm mattress that felt more home then the very mattress in her so called room.

In her family's mansion she had a room, a big one, but it was never filled as Lux wished it, Lux always was at ballet class, working until her feet bled in the soft pink shoes and her stomach ached from lack of food.

On the side lines of the football field in a tight uniform consisting of a short skirt, in which all attempts to longen them had been fruitless. And a tight top which stopped just above the belly button. At the top of a pyramid, she half prayed, they would drop her so she could break her neck.

Or in the quite library of her massive school, which smelled of books and thick layers of dust. She would write until her finger calloused and read until she passed out.

Lux made her way to the small dingy bathroom on stone legs.

The water fell cold down her smooth skin, jolting her out the fog she had awoken in. The world was a bit clearer,and she felt as if she was back in her body.

A small white towel wrapped around her muscular body, and made her way put of the bathroom and into the room which sat her bed and cheer bag.

Lux slipped on her panties and black leggings that were bell bottom, as she hated the restriction without. She clipped on a baby blue bra and pulled a golden halter top with lace around the cut and hem.

Lux open her phone to the camera facing it towards herself as she sat back against the wall and phone propped on her cheer bag

Lux brushed through her straight blonde hair which had a slightly wave to it, lux had a love hate relationship with her hair. Her mother shared the same shade and it reminded Lux just how much she was like her mother. Just the thought settled a pit of anguish in her stomach. But her hair was beautiful and was a big reason why people liked her.

Lux pulled her hair back loosely with a thick black headband tha rested neatly on the crown of her head.

Lux fussed through her cheer bag to retrieve her makeup bag. Lux applied a thin layer of foundation a base for the concealer which hid the deep eyes bags she hated. Lux did her make up in silence, replaying the image of the short girl form yesterday.

Cold eyelash curler pressed against her eyeliner before a layer of mascara. Long blue hair, clearly dyed, pooled rope like, compelling lux to touch the ever soft hair.

Soft brush strokes applying soft brown eyeliner and golden eyeshadow. Striking blue eyes glittered with specks of soft brown tinted pink.

Pinkish blush dusted across cheeks,then tainted with the soft shimmer of highlighter.cloud tattoo sticking teasingly out of the girls sleeve.

Soft pink lipgloss glidded across soft lips.thin Cupidbow lips chapping more as they pulled into a lip splitting grin.

•*********************♡********************•

Lux calfs ached after coaching her girl's through a new routine. The Demician football team in their baby blues and whites scrimmaged against each. The acid green and brown of the Zaunties knocked eachother over.

A break was called for. Lux and her girl's sat idle in the first row of the bleachers as only half the girls ate half thrown together meals while their counter part, the football boys dug into fresh meals from a local dinner across the bench from them.

The Zaunties cheerleaders nothing like them sat in the feild with their football team all digging onto food from a Zauntie dinner run bye the coach's husband.

The Zaunties coach was a big broad man with soft features and soft graying brown hair but looked as if he could kick any man's ass. Lux didn't know the man's name but heard it in passing, Vander or Andy she wasn't sure.

Lux was fixing her pom poms when a little girl no older then 3 came up to her, the little girl had short hair brown, striked with blue, big brown eyes with flecks of blue, skin slightly tanned from the sun.

The little girl had a minors hat with vibrant drawings, a Tshirt, with a bleach X in the center much like the girl she ran into yesterday, the girl had black shorts that went to her knees with many patches that looked of a pink and purple cirus tent.

"Hey kiddo" lux had said gently a true smile crossing her face. Lux had always loved children.

The little girl didn't respond looked at the pom poms curiously, lux let the little girl watch as lux silently fix her pom poms, happiness flooded her heart for the company even if the little girl didn't speak. Lux felt giddy that a little girl wanted to see what she was doing. Lux softly explained each step, treating the three year old like how she would a new recruit.

The girl comfortably crawls up into Luxs lap, resting her small head against Luxs chest as she watched Lux prepare her pom poms. It took Lux 10 minutes to finish. Lux set her chin against the crown of the girls head before spending the last 20 minutes of her break explaining why cheerleaders had pom poms ands the many ways they took care of them. Lux took careful attention of the girls body language and how she reacted, Lux stored it in the back of her mind as she taken a liking to the curious girl, memorizing how the girl looked like away in her mind in case she got in trouble. The need to protect the little girl from any and all danger filled her gut before she gave the little girl a snickers candy bar from her bag. Lux had at least 5 in her bag as she had a tendency to faint. Lux hopped the girls parents were kind, and had enough to where the girl wanted nothing

A whistle blew, making Lux snap her head up, the bule hair girl yelled "bug come on were gonna go get snacks."

Lux watched the little girl run to the blue hair girl with a squeal. When lux locked eyes with the blue eyed girl her heart pounded and heart melted.

Lux knew she isnt allowed to think like this and she looks away disgusted with herself for thinking of a random person a girl much less like that.

Chapter 3: •if I called you and we spoke i could've seen you•

Summary:

Warning a bit of talk of Sh

Jinx:ohhh pretty girl. Also my daughter is the best thing.

Jinx mid: drama dump time!

Jinx end:oh well f this,i had my papa

Notes:

I really hope people are like this i didnt even expected for this to get even a few people reading !

If you have any tips please let me know and if anyone has anything to spice up the plot let me know!

I will try my best to get a chapter out each week but it can be a bit hard, and mentally taxing for me, im sorry

Forward_beckon_rebound <3

Jinx held a dying cigarette between two fingers, taking long poisoning puffs. She watched isha run around the concrete of the parking lot, playing tag with her imagery friend. Isha was bare foot, in a old tshirt and overalls, toddler doodles covering her arms, in which jinx was to tired reprimand her daughter.

Jinx had a sinking feeling that isha has schizophrenia. much like herself, her daughter showed signs of seeing people not there. Isha had named her voices, instead of it being friends and family like jinx, she made up friends she never had. Isha mostly talked and played with a little girl she named Zuri.

Jinxs eye twitches as the voices perk up when her eyes spot the golden girl, as isha calls her. Isha taken a liking to the girl on the opposite team, Jinx had taken a liking to the girl as well, even if they haven't met, isha hated most people but was drawn to the golden girl, making jinx curious.

Jinx watchs as the golden girl, the girl she had bumped into not long ago, set down her cheer bag on the bleachers across from the parking lot.

Jinxs heart thumped achinly as her eyes settled upon the muscular girl as she stretched. Watched as blondie, her new nickname for the blindingly beautiful girl, put her leg up onto the top of one of the benches and lean forward stretching her leg.

Blondie had lean arms,strong wrists made for hand stands and catching herself when thrown up into the air, to then be caught by her hands or feet. She had a strong core but loose abs from squeezing her body to make herself lighter or from the twists and turns from the many stunts, thick thighs and lean calfs made for landing.

She was made for ballet,for cheer.

Jinx lifted her boot up,her boot was old and crusty from being sewen and duck taped. Jinx would rather spend money on her daughter. Jinx crushed the bud of the cherry red cigarette to extinguish it before tossing it into the garbage.

The garbage can was tall and dirty with graffiti and stickers, the graffiti and stickers marked the older generations raised in this school, the kids before her. The principal dosent have the heart to get the garbage can cleaned of the graffiti as she herself had been apart of the problem. The trash can had been there longer then jinx had been a student, which wasn't long ago but her father's also recognized the garbage can from their times as students.

Jinx can very...very faintly see her mothers scrolled handwriting, accompanied by her bio fathers and her adopted fathers.

Blisters and bedrock - it had been the band they formed when they were 14, they disbanded at 23 because of felicity death, her mother's death

Jinx turned her head back to her daughter who was unsurprisingly running circles around the parking lot. "Isha! Come on bug, load up!" Jinx hollered as she unclipped her keys from her baggy patched up jeans. Jinx grins softly as her daughter runs to the truck. Jinx slid her keys into the lock and unlocked her prized truck.

Jinx had an old Chevy pick up truck that was her mom's before she died, when Jinx had gotten the truck, it was in complete disarray, it had been missing tires, brakes, and the engine was completely destroyed.

 

Jinxs grandmother had given it to jinx after her passing. Her grandmother was a tough women, with harsh graying hair, and hard hands from mine labor, her grandmother used to sing old folk hymns, but her grandmother and her had a horrible fight after Jinx got pregnant . Jinx had gotten it at 10.

6 weeks after she had been raped. 4 after she found out she was pregnant.

That truck was her saving grace throughout her hard pregnancy. She had found out she was pregnant in the empty house of her childhood home. Her father's had just divorced. Her sister Violet was 16 at the time, Her brother Mylo was 14, and her older brother Claggor was 15. Jinx had been the only one who stayed with their father silco, her siblings went with papa Vander. But jinx knew if she hadn't stayed with their father he most likely would have killed himself.

Jinx spent the 9 months of being pregnant fixing up that truck, at 10 she got a job after school. She saved most of it for her future child. But the extra left would go into her truck.

She spent countless nights under that hood, talking until her guts spilled out and she was wrapped open naked for the world to see..Except there wasn't anyone there but the voices and that pick up truck. She spent a bit extra on nice paint. She wasn't gonna paint it red as she was more of a blue girl.

but Jinx had, had a horrible fight with her sister over the phone. Words were said, words were worse then her older sisters flying fists.

Jinx had been inconsolable, sobbing until she puked. She just wanted her older sister. She wanted her older sister to wrap her up in her arms, stroke her hair, hum softly to her.

But jinx knew her sister hated her guts for choosing father...Jinx wanted to feel bad but she couldn't. Jinx had known her father better then anyone, knew every little detail. So she wiped her tears up and began painting until she wasn't sure what was paint or blood.

A part of Jinx wished it was blood, she ached to feel the deep sting linger and the pain as blade sinked into her skin. To be sick again, to have an excuse why shes so messed up. Her hands shaked as she looked around for a blade, anything sharp. But jinx knew she couldn't. She had to stop, stop for her daughter, to give her a better life then she had. But jinx knew it was gonna be hard. She was a baby raising a baby.

Jinx had wanted, no...needed to get an abortion. Every time she thought of being pregnant, ice sluested down her back, her throat would close, and her eyes water, as her world caved. She had dreams, dreams stolen by a greedy man with touchy hands, and once again stole by a greedy man with controlling hands. That was the year abortions had been banned in the Undercity, and only year it was banned. Jinx almost forced herself to have an abortion in her fits of blinded desperation

Isha birth had been hard. All she remembers is blinding,horrific pain, and the scream of doctors as she flat lined. She was in labor for 2 weeks, lost a shit ton of blood, and was prounced dead twice. She was 10. She wasn't able to drink,drive,carry weapons,go to doctors appointments unless she forged documents, she was in elementary school.

The first 5 months had been hard. Isha had been non stop crying, no matter what she did. Isha would scream and scream and scream. The dinner got busy, the costs went up,pay checks went down. Middle school exams were coming up. Jinx had felt so stuck, but she had her truck, she had fishbones, the only friend she had.

Jinx had spent night sobbing and crying. freshly 11 and holding a newborn, who wouldn't stop crying. Jinx loved her baby but she felt sick, tired, she gave up inventing, and almost school. All because a man didn't allow a little girl an abortion.

*******************************☆****************************

Jinx was passing out waters to the Zaunites, her teams game had just ended, as always Jinx never paid attention to wins or loses she hated her father to much to care...She had spent the last 2 hours playing with calk with isha, Jinx doodles litte plant people,objects,isha and even the golden girl. Jinx had let isha dress herself that day, isha was in a bright blue shirt with a bunch of fun patterns and jean shorts that stopped at her knees with lady bugs embroidered. Jinx was still shocked how similar her daughter looked to her even without the same eye color or skin color.

Jinx had been in the middle of drawing a river of pure gold when isha began blowing bubbles, Jinx still isnt sure where her daughter got them, but it is her daughter. Jinx was half expecting a gitter bombs to set off, or to be tackled but isha had been sucked into blowing bubbles.Jinx watched happily as her daughter got the childhood she morned.

She was wearing patched up baggy jeans, the same pare of jeans she got 2 years ago. Jinx had always gotten to attached to cloths. You wouldnt even know those jeans used to never have patches. Jinx was wearing a cropped tube top with a bleached X in the middle as well as the messy embroidery of white outlining the bleach of X. Her bright blue braided hair was slight dragging across the ground. She had messy grunge makeup mixed with the craziness of punk and a dark blood mixed with a hint of purple lip.

Jinx silently passed a water bottle to her daughter before pointing to blondie. Jinxs heart melted as her daughter looked up at her, with scraggily and hopefilled eyes. Jinx hoped to the gods, she didn't raise her daughter wrong, isha was her...

Magnum Opus - Isha was the best thing she had ever created.

Jinx kissed her daughter forehead where her bangs layed clearly done by the toddler herself. But jinx wasn't angry, her daughter loved her hair. Jinx smiled content as isha hugged her mama's thigh before toddling over to where the Demician knights cheerleaders were.

Jinx pulled out a cigarette, long red marbles the same brand as her papa smokes. Jinx lit the cigarette. Happily letting the ash nip at her finger tips. Jinx watched as blondie taught Isha the moves to her cheer. Jinxs perverted eyes caught each time the blondes skirt slid up a bit to high, each time her tight top compressed a bit to hard around the golden girls chest. Jinxs hard pounded like the coal mines and her mouth watered.

Jinx took drags off that cigarette like her life depended on it. Her daughter, her little bug is hanging out with a girl she had a growing obsession on and on the other side of the field her papa leads the Zaunties through drills, all bumping shoulders, and wide shoulder boys, she still didn't have a good relationship with her papa, she keep him at arms length.

While yes her papa and father had been back together for two years but she can tell it's getting a bit rocky between the two. Her papa is getting that crease in his brow and her father is forming frown lines again. Jinx knew it was only a matter of time until glass would be thrown. But this time jinx wasn't 9 and scared, she was 15 and overly protective of her daughter.

Her daughter who will NEVER have to see what she has seen.

Her daughters who will NEVER go through what she went through.

But Jinx was gonna pick her father no matter what. Fuck her sister and her pilty ass wife. Jinx hated the girls guts and liked Vi's other wife Maddie a lot more. Maddie had actually tried connecting with Jinx. Who got to know isha and helped with homework or expenses. Jinx knew that the pilty and her sister were closer. Jinx had a feeling they didnt love Maddie and just married her for her smarts. Which Jinx hated but Maddie was pregnant and Maddie wasnt the type of woman to raise a child alone.

*******************************☆***************************

Jean Baez played wisply out of the old radio that still connects to the old stations once sought after. Jinx tapped her left hand against the steering wheel as she song along, glancing into the rearview mirror to see her daughter dancing, not in a normal way, but her and her daughter was everything but normal. Ishas movement were like water her arms flapping around smoothly as she bobbed around, only in the way a child could.

a child who hasn't been introduced to the crushing cruel world.

Nervousness pooled like blood in the pit of her stomach as they made their way to the combined team dinner at her papa's bar.

Chapter 4: •And to what i do best you'd go home •

Summary:

Im so sorry this chapter took so long to get out! Someone every important to me died 2 days ago last year and when it gets to late July and realy August I get really depressed.

Lux at the start: I dont wanna be here

Lux at the middle: what the helly is this

Lux at the end: I like this dont tell my mom

Lux sat back straight,legs crossed,and elbows off the table as she waited for the other team to arrive.

The demacian and Zauntie coach had come together and planed a dinner for both teams and cheerleaders, the kids picked where they sat in the small undercity diner but Lux had surveyed the room to make sure no fight could break out between kids who didnt like eachother and sat close to eachother.

Lux had tucked herself into a corner booth next to the door,hiden steadily behind plants,but still could see the whole diner. The fabric of the booth was old undercity leather with rips and a oily texture. The tables were scuffed up and all different in small ways. Like diffrent legs,different wood colors,or even different shapes. Lux knew this diner represented the adjustability and ingenuity of the undercity people.

Lux found suprising comfort in the dinner,sure the tables squeaked and the chairs looked like it was on its last leg,and the diner was severally understaffed of 2 whole football teams and their cheer teams, but the diner was warm not like the sticky heat of the undercity but the warmth of an embering fire or a old heater that barley worked.

Lux was nose deep in her history essay her fingers aching from the thin pencil held between them, the side of her hand covered in lead because she was left handed, the words slightly shifted no matter how hard she forced them to stay put. Lux knew much about history. She had constant extra credit, and praise for the teacher...but when it came to essays the words hurt her brain. It felt like working out right after a torn muscle.

Lux jumped as a 2000s themed electric blue bag with rinstones glued on, was dropped onto one of the breaking chairs next to her.

"Ok jumpy" a voice rasped with years of smoking,but a tint of a growl from ruining her vocal cords.

Lux looked up through her blonde hair to see,Jinx sit in font of her, and a little girl sramble independently into the chair next to her mother.

"Jinx?" Lux gasped. Her hair falling back into its place after her head tilts up farther.

"The one and only." jinx grined throwing her arms behind her head.

Jinxs braids pooled on her lap spilling onto the ground,the massive amount of keys and Keychains on her carabiner jingled into its place. Her crop to lifted slightly. Luxs eyes carved the space between jinxs ribs and her beath catches sharply.

"W what are you doing here." Lux asked trying to pull herself together as jinxs hands dropped to the table her metal bracelets clinked against eachother paying no mind to the string ones.

"My papa offered and Isha was hungry, I couldnt pass up a free meal from my estranged dad." Jinx grined, her cracked lips almost bled. Luxs heart begged her brain to give Jinx her chapstick, to watch as Jinxs lips meet a surface infected by her own.

Lux just nodded in understanding, her earings slightly swinging with the motion, Lux watched as Jinx turned to push her daughters chair in,causing the little girl to be able to reach the table. Jinx pulled a small notebook, the size of her hand and crayons putting them in front of her daughter.

"Whats your daughter's name?" Lux said, one of the rare times her mouth worked faster then her brain.

Jinx turned turned around her braids slightly swinging as she sat back in her chair. A proud smile ripping across her face as she said "Isha felicity Lanes."

"Isha... thats a beautiful name where did you get it " Lux asked her shoulders calm, looking over at Isha. The girl she talked to earlier, she was small, had darker skin then her mother, and hazel eyes but dressed in the same punk rock shaggy look of most Undercity people.

Jinx chuckles breathaly saying "Its my dead mothers name felicity, which is my daughter middle name. But her first name is a nickname my father, not my bio dad, but my father gave her back when they worked in the mines and had to learn tunnel tap, which were taps on the tunnels used my old miners to commune with eachother. It was used way back when the gas masks didn't allow you to speak, but it was been keep ever since.

My father's nickname was S, my papa was Van and my mama was Isha." Jinxs eyes glasses over as she recalled memories that weren't her own. But before Lux could respond a menu was slapped on the table.

**********************♡*********************

Lux felt shame as she stuffed down the greasy burger but a glance to jinx who's half way through her second makes it not as bad.

Lux slightly cringed at her grease sticky fingers before awkward wiping them off. Lux looks up to isha who already finished hers and is drawing.

""Hey kiddo what are you drawing" Lux asked gently her curiousidy getting the best if her much to her disdain. Isha looks up, her baby face lighting up as she shows her blondie the drawing she was working on.

The drawing was scribbles used to form different shapes but had symbols and stars in the random spots of scribbles not used in the detailed shapes.

Lux gasps her eyebrows shot up, the drawing was very good in a toddler standard, of course it was to messy and not fiting right but a few more years she'd amazing.

"You did such an amazing job on that isha." Lux smiles smoothing the page.
*********************♡*********************Jinx had sent Isha with her pops as it was the weekend and isha spent every other weekend with her grampas.

Luxs heels echoed gently across the concrete contrasting to the hard thumps of Jinxs boots. They had been assigned to the same room at the hotel they were staying at for the night.

Lux wasn't mad about it apart of her was melting happily at the prospect of being so close to her crus- no no no no no no no Lux was straight it was gods will, she had her future planed out and it's with a man as its ment to be.

Lux was shook out of her spiral and as Jinx chuckles "im glad isha likes you, shes picky about the peoples around. I...i havent seen her warm up so fast to someone, even with bribing."

"Really? She seems like the type of kid to love everyone" Lux smiles letting her self subconscious move a bit closer to Jinx. Her shoulders brush briefly and sparks fly down her spine like electricity.

"Yea...ishas a bit of a wild child but she is dosent play about people she don't like." Jinx hummed putting her hands into her deep pockets she added herself onto her scrappy jeans. "You know back when isha was about 2 i was on horrible terms with my papa, the first time isha saw him, she latched on to his arm and caused him to need 10 stitches just cause i didnt like him."

Lux listen contently as Jinx tells more stories of her daughter as they get closer to the hotel room. Lux watches as the sun shadow her pale face, watches as her crack lips pull into tight smile the settling into a maternal smile when speaking of her daughter. Luxs breath caught as jinxs hair electric blue hair halos her violet blue eyes, softening them.

"Ladys first." Jinx grins as she pulls open the hotel door. Lux smiles at her thanking her gently as she enters the room. Her breath stops as she looks over the room.

[A small dingy room with buttercup and cream background wallpaper, slightly peeling and yellowed from smokers. The floors are stained up carpet with clear blood stains covered up by a old yellow carpet. The ceiling was cracked and yellowed slightly with a popcorn texture. In the middle of the room was a queen bed which was suprising clean as Lux checked for bed bugs. The covers were yellow and the headboard cracked slightly. Two small antique lamps sat idle on the bedside tables on each side of the bed. The tables matching the wood and scratched theme, the draw no longer had its Bible, which made Jinx smile happily. As lux felt the panic of only having one bed set in, she head to the bathroom to check it out. The bathroom was small with a leaky toilet and old toilet paper. Their was a small yellowed sink with a non constant flow, and no shower. The floor was a brokenish tile slathered in what seems to be clear calking, the walks white but weirdly stained.]

"Ill sleep on the floor" Jinx shrugged.

"NO!" Lux screamed for a subconscious reason. Lux blushed as she realized what she yelled and hear jinx cackling, which made luxs heart race.

"We uhm...can share the bed there's enough room" lux stutters quickly.

"Wow blondie if you wanted me in the sheets you could have just asked" Jinx cackles louder her ribs hurting.

Lux blushed harder sputtering "Thats not what I ment."

Jinx pats luxs should saying " i know blondie im just playing with you" Jinxs eyes settled on Luxs open cleavage without Lux realizing.

Lux smiles "Sorry its just a bit... muggy in here, its making my face red."

Lux watched as Jinx dropped her stuff and began changing into her sleep cloths. Lux eyes wander down jinxs pale spine, her long thin fingers as they unclasp Jinxs bra letting it fall to the ground and then slip on a Superman sleep shirt. Luxs stomach pools with sticky warmth as jinx pulls off her pants. Her legs thin but hardened with thick muscle. Luxs heart dropped as sweat pants covered jinxs legs.

Lux turn around so she, herself can undressed. Lux feels jinxs eyes boring into her, Jinx undoing her braids,as Lux slips off her shirt and unclasp her bra, pulling her skirt down her long legs before sliding on a night dress.

Lux crawls into bed with jinx following suit. Jinxs weight comforting next to her warm body. Luxs heart burned at the knowledge of someone being right there, looking over her as she sleeps, protecting her as Lux also protected Jinx.

Lux felt herself mold into the side of jinxs body. Lux shutters pleased at the sensation. It takes an hour before jinx falls asleep.

Lux finds herself thinking over the day as the hour of jinx trying to go to sleep passes. Luxs becomes sick to her stomach as she realized what her calories intake must have been. Lux has always been carful of her weight. her mother said she blows up like a balloon. Lux has a diet since she was 5 and it's all she knows. Now that she thinks about it, that's was Luxs first real burger. Lux had hated once in the pursuit of skinnynesss.

Lux thinks about isha the little girl who wormmed herself into Luxs heart with her to sloppy grins,messy hair and sticky fingers. With her loud personality to make up for her muteness, at first Lux didn't even realize the kid was mute until she really thought back to the first interaction.

Lux is pulled outta her throughs by a firm hand cupping her waist and warm breath against her neck.

Lux let's outna gasp as the sticky warmth sits back into her stomach and her heart speeds up. Lux knows this is horribly wrong and against God but she couldn't move, her heart ached for this womens touch and attention far to much. Her nose ached for the smell of vanilla, gunpowder,oil, and the stink of new machines made outta love.

Lux melts into the touch and finally let's herself dift off.

Chapter 5: •Im sorry I won't let you get to close•

Summary:

As the chapter states im sorry 😞 in my defense I had class of 2013 on repeat as well as pushing it down and praying.

Tw- talk of: self harm, abuse, eating disorders, and a bit of religious drama (i think that's all)

Jinx in the Begining: im living my best life

Jinx in the middle: absolute dispare

Jinx at the end: want McDonald's

The sticky warmth of the sun flooded the room from scratch up windows. Jinx felt silky hair drapped across her arm and a pungent smell of sun shine and fresh Daisy's flooded her nose. The weight of a body larger then her, grounded her against the bed. A arm circled her hips and legs intertwined with her own.

When Jinx became more coherent, she smirked gently as she realized it was her blondie in the bed, Jinx let herself melt back into the innocence of the morning. Her left arm under Luxs breasts and her right wrapped around luxs waist.

Jinx fell back asleep holding Lux, her head snug again Luxs chest. Sleep only could last so long, such as innocence.

Jinx woke back up, groggy and cramping, the room had warmed up more making them both slightly sticky with sweat. Jinx ached for a cigarette, untangleing their limbs,sliping on a light sweater, Jinx grabbed her pack and a lighter. Much to Jinxs disdain she only had 3 cigarettes left.

Jinx light her first cigarette of the day, her finger shaky from old injuries. Her middle finger still had phantom pains, racing down to her elbow in zaps of ach. Jinx lifted the cigarette to her lips taking the first drag long and languid as if it needed to be cherished, as if it wasn't killing her.

Jinx never liked the morning. She had been raped in the morning, in cloths to big for her malnourished body,his hands dirty as the greed overwhelmed that man, taking away bits of her soul, contaminating her bloodstrem.

Her father's had divorced in the morning, screams had racked that house, her papa stuffing her father's stuff in suitcases as her father's eye bleed on the once virgin white carpet. Jinx who was the powder, had stuffed her own cloths in a small backpack, leaving behind stuffies,drawing, inventions,her siblings, her old friend, and herself. That day powder had no longer been powder she became a little girl filled with hate and desperation.

JINX

Her mothers funeral had been in the morning, standing around a homemade coffin, her mother's dull eyes staring back. Jinx was 5, but she remembers the decaying lilis that had been used for a piltovan funeral a day before. Her mother had nothing new in life and nothing new in death. Oppressed only got left overs from the oppression. Street rats got leftovers graciously gifted from the city of piltover.

The first time her heart had stopped was in the morning. The hospital smelled of mold and old blood, the sunrise bathed her room in a golden light. Jinx had heard her heart beat in her ears, felt the sticky warmth blood gush outta her body as nurses to high or under paid to care watched. Warm tears had fallen like baby's breath down her face. Her father had fought with her two days before. The room was empty and warm but devoid of warmth, of sweet anxiousness, of gentle hands combing through sweat matted hair. Her hands had weaken against the cold metal of the hospital bed. She flatlined for 3 minutes before she was brought back. She hated that doctor for pulling her outta the comforting bliss of death.

Jinx was pulled outta her thoughs as all was left of her cigarette was a glowing red cherry. Jinx stomped the cig before stuffing it into her pocket.

Jinx felt like she just had a one night stand with the way she packing her stuff up with the beauty just laying on her bed looking up at her through gently lashes. Jinxs heart exploded in a cacophony of pleasure at the sight blond woman. Her hands to sweaty and her head felt air like.

Jinx gives Lux a true gentle smile offering "wanna ride with me back to the main hotel?"

*********************☆*********************

Music range through out Jinxs old truck. Her hands taping on the leather steering wheel as she had to pull her eyes away from Lux and her night dress.

Jinx was worried she was gonna get pulled over with how much swerving she was doing each time she stared at the blonde women curled up on her passenger seat, with her sleeping daughter in the back seat with homemade jammies.

Jinx lit another cigarette, rolling her windows down and turning the radio up. The afternoon zaun air was sticky and warm like sweat but was non the less home.

********************☆**********************
Jinx had walked Lux back to her hotel, unpacking luxs stuff as Lux sat on her bed with isha slung across her.

Isha had good reason to be wary of the people jinx fell in love with. She had gotten with her ex when isha was 1, jinx was 12 and the guy was 17 promising Jinx he loved her, had bought her gifts, (forcefully) made love with her, and made isha love him.

Jinx had began to be beaten every day 3 months in, he would beat jinx for the littlest of things or even if he was bored. Jinx had broken ribs,collar bones,fingers.

Bruises lined her body like a mural of pain. Her face had been dragged against walls, her body beaten by raging fist of a man claiming to love her. A man who wouldn't touch isha and smother Jinx with love after beating her for breathing too loud.

Jinxs breaking point wasn't her being beating but the first time that man put his hand on her daughter was the last time that man would use that hand.

Jinx was shook out of her throughs by her daughter catapulting herself onto her mama and holding on for dear life. Jinx laughed as she spun isha around like a toy top.

Jinxs heart stopped as she glanced at Lux. Her blond hair slightly messy but haloed by the soft streams of sunlight made just for her. Lux was chuckling, dimples painted on her face, her lips pulled up without thought and her beautiful shoulders shaking with the raw joy radiant from the women.

Jinx felt her knees wanna give out as waves of molten heat sloshed down to the pit of her stomach, that girl must have been the sun it's self, jinx had the raw need to kiss her, to hid her away from the unforgiving world. But that's not how the world works.

Jinx let her squirming daughter down to go play in the small patch of grass that could be easily seen from the hotel.

Jinx sat next to lux, their hands slightly brushing. Jinxs gently pulled stray hair out of luxs eyes. Fireworks went off, the room pleasantly warm as both girls gravitated towards eachother, Luxs eyes stuck on jinxs eyes and Jinx stuck on the women's pink lips. Their lips brushed eachother and jinxs mind went blank with bridled pleasure before she was pushed off the bed.

Jinx hit her head hard on the old scuffed up nightstand, jinx felt as warm sticky liquid began gently dripping down the back of her head, dying strands of her blue hair a deep red like painted flowers. But jinx didnt focus on that. Luxs eyes were filled with deep seated fear and disgust. Her lips burned like they had been lit on fire then cooled down to fast, like the sting of a blade cutting to deep, hiting a vein.

Jinxs heart broken as she registered the disgust in Luxs eyes, she should have known demacia is know for being very homophobic, but the disgust didnt sit any better. Bile filled her gut as her eyes water as anguish filled her throat and burns trails of love left unrequited down her soul.

Jinx wanted to apologize, beg forgiveness like a unwanted wanted dog going to the slaughter but before she could Lux said something that destroyed Jinxs very soul. Raking like nails plunging into her heart.

"Your...your a fag?" Lux gasped disgust still very evident. "T thats not gods will... you must follow god, you must" Lux had panicked as if this had been beaten into her. Lux grabbed jinxs shoulders shaking her like a mad women. Fear filled jinxs gut almost over ridding the dispare flooding her as the women she loves demands she gos back to a religion that ruined her.

Jinx backed up like an angry corned animal, waiting to strike if Lux came any closer. She took slow shaky steps out of the hotel room silently sobbing as she made her way to her truck.

Jinx frantically lit another cigarette before it becomes a blade to her skin, drawing sweet painfull wells of blood to the surface dripping down onto cold tiles as a newborn sobs in the next room as she can still feel his hands- Her head still bleeds but a part of jinxs needs it as she sobs reliving each moment her Ex beat her, each slap, the sound of a bone snapping under a man's fist, bruises more like tattos cascading across her too thin body as she starved herself

SHE NEEDS CONTROL PLEASE PLEASE JUST LET ME FINALLY BE IN CONTROL

PLEASE NOT EATING IS THE ONLY WAY PLEASE I NEED CONTROL

she took short desperate drags as she tried to fight off a panic attack. Her shoulders shaking and her head to full.

A small weight pulls it's self onto Jinxs lap, latching onto her like a vine to an old building. It grounds Jinx. To have her daughter right there, where she can keep her baby girl safe. Jinx spends 20 minutes calming down combing throw her daughters hair as she voices began to quiet.

"Want McDonald's?" Jinx murmured like didnt already know the answer.

Isha bounded into her cars eat and rushed her mama to help her. Jinx did so with out much convincing much to Ishas knowledge.

Jinxs heart shattered a bit more as she drove away from that hotel room, of the women she loves like the summer sun. But her heart mends slightly at the sighted of her daughter squealing and bouncing around in her carseat.

Jinx rolled the winds down and turned the music up drowning out the sounds of her lovers sobs echoing.

Chapter 6: •And if it could take it back i would•

Summary:

Warning ansgy and talk of death (im sorry yall 😔)

Lux in the beginning: why im i guilty, im so gosh darm guilt

Lux in the middel: oh my I dont know if im happen of bot that I kissed the ground

Lux at the end: why am I guilty i shoudnt be guilty

Notes:

Im sorry this took so long, and im sorry about the amount of angst I have been writing but it'll be over soon( hopefully )

Guilt tangled deep in her gut, through her veins, to her lungs, constricting like a boa constrictor killing its victim. Her blonde hair sat heavy in a ponytail whiping against her sweaty shoulders sticking like old glue.

It was to hot, to muggy, the type of hot that got deep into your skin. It make your head hurt, your lungs burn, causing you to feel light headed. the guilt didnt make it any easier to breath as she lead her girls ( theres is few boys in the team but they dont mind) through a stunt, her stunt group was her bases Lopez and Adrianna and her spotter was Maria.

Lux didnt know Adrianna very well but she was a taller girl, had tan skin, and was quite muscular. Adrianna had short coily hair which she keep in a tight ponytail, and wore light makeup. Adrianna was a sweet girl, but not afraid to stand her ground or fight someone. She had come from a bad past even with being demician.

Lopez was a sweet kid, one of the youngest in the team, he was tall, Broad shouldered, and Mexican. Lopez was quiet but hardworking never letting any of his flyers fall no matter the cost. Lopezs mother would bring sweet treats during games. Lux never ate them but the others loved them.

Maria was a short girl, paler then the grimreaper, with long black hair and wore heavy makeup. Maria was a mouthy girl but smart and determined. Maria's parents were most likely going to end up divorced and fought in the parking lot after games like it was a part time job. Maria brought her older siblings to home practices as her mother got drunk off expensive wine and didnt want to be home.Her father was a CEO to a big company and her mother was a sleep deprived mother of 6, with old dead dreams of being a lawyer.

 

Luxanna loved being a flyer. The thrill of death, to know if she didnt trust her bases or spotter it could lead to her death. A quick fall on the neck or spine, cracking like a tree struck by lightning, a quick painless death. A death she fantasized about like an old friend coming back to her hometown, surfacing when it got to quiet,her music to low, the lights to dim.

But she keep her knees locked and her weight balanced as she was held up in the air. Her core tight as she took slow almost painful breaths. Her knees like daggers, slicing deep into her nerves treating to buckle. To let her slip that bit, to

Fall
Fall
Fall
Fall
Fall
Fall
Fall
Fall
Fall
Fall
Fall
Fall
Fall
Fall

Like a gracefull bird shot cleanly in the wind, and letting itself fall fast. But it much to her dismay it was all a sick fantasy.

She shifted her weight as she held her right leg up, before being thrown up and up, she had only a split second to get it right. To close her leg fighting against wind resistance, to spin fast as she came hurdling towards the ground. She was caught by her stunt group of course.

Cheers filled the air, but the guilt sat deep. What she said was true...it was true. It was from her chest from her true state of mind...right?

Jinx had tempted her, brought the devil into her life, strayed away from gods light. Lux didnt wanna be seen as a fag, a worshiper of the devil.
She dismissed the feelings felt for jinx. The overwhelming need to kiss her senseless, to keep her close, spend nights tucked neatly into her chest, to raise Isha together. To life a life free from stone cold rules. (rules made to trap, to control)

Luxs knows what happens to Fags. She herself had been one once, temptation to blantent as she kissed that girl, as she laided with her, the girl with a snarky smile, died hair, a girl who didnt bend to anyones will, no matter if it felt like heaven, felt as if everything made sense why God didnt allow girls to love eachother, scared of their devotion over powering their love for the all mighty being, it felt like crisp summer morning in Demacia when the flowers are in full bloom-The air is dry but the grass slightly damp, it felt like tea warming your insides after a harsh Demician winter. It felt like home (kissing another women).

Lux was broken out of her thoughs as she hit the ground, as graceless as a fallen deer, her leg folding underneath her. she couldn't tell if it hurt or not, her head had hit the ground before she had time to react. Her heart sored hopping her fantasy had finally come true. To feel the sweet kiss of death to envelop her like a swaddle to a baby freshly brought into this world.

Her ears ringed harshly as her stunt group yelled and called for help, Lopez standing there horrified he let Lux fall, scared of being kicked off the team, of letting down his immigrant parents or much less being sued for this.

Lux still couldn't tell if her leg hurt or not. It felt slight numb, Lux quite liked the feeling, well like the aspect of not being able to feel anything, as if it was not there to began with. The ringing got worse, like loud bells of the church ever singing, loud and compressing her head, squeezing the atoms as if they would explode. Lux wouldn't be to angry if they did, she just hoped it would be painless

Warm sticky liquid fell from her head, gushing like slightly cooled sap, becoming almost chunky as it fell into her blonde hair, staining it a deep warm red. Lux felt her hair slightly clup together painted red. She knew it must be blood, blood pouring slowly down her back, pooling bitterly, like the devils halo in her hair.

She felt as she was picked up by a big man strong and confident but aged, he smelled of cigars and grass. Her eyes stayed closed, the pressure to thick to cut, the light too harsh, little stars exploding like firecrackers after eyes adjusted to darkness. She couldnt peice together who the man was her head hurt to much, it pounded like demacian war drums in the summer when training was at its peak, the ringing turned into a cacophony of noises like alarms blarring during an attack.

She began to realize the pungent pain coming from her ankle it settling like bile in her gut as puke threatens to rise, the inside of her ankle right where the weird dip is, thats where the pain hurts hardest, she had gotten better at locating the site and cause of pain with each disappointment slap if her mothers hand ever punishing hand.

Lux felt as if she was going to passing out, the sticky blood cloting , didnt stop drip drip drip dripping down her back. The noises grew louder as if cheering and her ankle hurt horribly throbbing harshly as if expressing her guilt.

*********************♡**********************

Lux was laying back to the cold bench, the chill seeping deep into her bones like rot to bark. The pain still throb throb throbbed, guilt racked up her spine as she saw Jinx standing at the corner of the tent like building, talking to her estranged father. Isha glared bullets into her eyes as if willing the pain to worsen, before Lux could think, she stuck her hand out to ruffle isha hair like normal.

A stab of pain shocked her brain back into throught as Isha sunk her small but sharp teeth deep into luxs wrist. Lux yelled as Isha bit down harder blood pooling down her hand drop drip dropping onto the cool tarp flooring.

Her head throbber as jinx yelled at Isha pulling the demon off of her, isha hissed like a wild bobcat, wiggling to get out her mama's grip. Luxs heart ached as jinx carried half dragged Isha out of the make shift tent.

Lux looked down at the bleeding bite, if you looked right it almost looked as if a feral chihuahua had bitten her. Lux wanted to get up to run and find Isha, to find the little girl and beg for her forgiveness, to ask, to ask why she had been bitten, when she once had been highly favored by the small child.

The strange man had held her down as to not stand on her ankle, fear flooded her like a house on fire, tugging at her heart,before she could react the man grunted "Stay down, you dont wanna hurt your foot worse kid".

Lux had slight come to her senses but still wanted to chase down jinx and isha (to fall at jinxs feet to apologize, beg forgivenessess like sugar dripping from her tounge, the thorns of the rose broken off as she spoke pleds like prayers.)

The man slipped pain meds into Luxs hands and a old plastic water bottle that would give her mother a heart attack. Lux slipped the pain meds into her mouth letting the disgusting taste cover up guilt over seaping like a hot under a faucet left on far to long.

When the man gave her a weird glance Lux willed herself to drink the water. It tasted of iron, the iron of pipes to old to truly fitter water, unlike the fresh water over pouring the streets of piltover. Fresh water made for Zaunties used for the fountains lining the councilor tower, as if bragging to every Undercity kid, dirty and scrappy clothed stealing food, that piltover had more and would always have more, that thoses kids were nothing but street kids. Street rats lingering amongst the many sewers spilling throughout zauns industrial country, pale skinned from hunger and sickness, of kids watching their bestfriends died of hunger or the pollution sticking to them like stains.

Lux realizing everything about zaun was old or under paided, she was laided on a patched up cot, in a tent made up of old worn tarps, medicine giving was most likely stolen, the splint was makeshift and oily of recycled materials used throughout the undercity.

Lux noticed a figure lingering at the edges of the tent, luxs guard flew up like a prisons wall, before she acted on it Jinx stepped out of the shadows, internal pain painting her face in srunched eyebrows and a deepend frown.

Lux watched as Jinx sat nervously at the chair by her head. Jinx was beautiful, but her hair was messy, bangs clearly chopped shorter in a fit of rage or grief, she didnt have most of her accessories and flar. She had a simple band T on with a cut neck and patched holes, Jinx dawned the same pair of pants as she did the first time they met. A cigarette lit burning bright like guilt between two thin fingers.

Guilt and grief mixed like posion deeply in her gut, puke threatens to spill as Jinx gos to speak.

"I..im sorry about Isha, our fight must of thrown her off. But that dosent excuse her biting you like she was a rabies driven chihuahua" Jinx mumbled her throat tight and her eyes never meeting Luxs.

Lux couldn't speak, tears treating to spill as she looks down to the dried blood around the fresh bite. She wasn't mad at Isha, she was mad at herself.

"Look Ishas a sweet girl, she doesnt fight or bite unless scared, im trying to work with her about that, its her fatal flaw." Jinx chuckles shakily as if scared lux would press charges, a tint of begging, of begging not to punish her daughter.

Throught the tension was light Lux sighed gently." Im not angry, i would be just as scared and it was my fault as i should have taken into consideration Ishas feeling and body language before trying to touch her much less entering her comfort space."

"Thank you..." Jinx whispers harshly as her throat caught.
.
.
.
.
.
The silence dragged like a knife dull on a festering wound, compressing the girls like balers compress materials.

"Look... um... im sorry for trying to kiss you" Jinx said a weight sitting heavy in her chest as her throat threatens to close.

"You should be" Lux snarked. Fear. Fear corned her minded. Fear of loving a women, knees bleeding pooling on a marble alter as holy water was dumped on her, screams of devil worshiper filled that church, Bible verses spilled out her lips like the blood from Jesus's crown of thorns. Her forearms rubbed raw from her nails, small beads of blood drippled down her elbow as she prayed the gay away.

"What the hell!?" Jinx scoffed at the anger filling the once sweet girls voice. The girl she still wanted to worship the ground she walked on. Bitterness spilled from her lips like over sweetened honey.

"I..I cant be seen with you" Lux panicked looking around hastily like she was gonna bolt.

"What do you mean" jinx asked going to hold her hand. Fear tilted the tips of her tone.

"I.. I.. I cant be seen with a fag" Lux hissed, slapping the girls smaller hand away pretending like it didnt tear her apart at the site of jinxs face. "What you do.. what are you is wrong. Being gay isnt ok!" Lux says bitterly. "I.. if you dont give up this, this devil worship i cant be friends with you." Lux says sternly.

The fear got worse as she looked around scared one of her teammates seeing her talking to jinx, terrified her mother would find out. The hands that feeds hiting hard, the punishing hands beat the sin out of her mortal body, ribs cracking as gods words were burnt into her skin with every bruise.
Lux watched with waterly eyes and throat tight with repelling sin.

guilt worsening as slient tears fell from Jinxs eyes. Her head slightly shaking as she backed out of the tent, babbling insults through harsh sobs spilling like the devils tears.

Lux cried as she replayed her words in her head, curling up as her words that repelled the thought of sin, repelled the sin itself. The girl will a lip spiltting smiles, neon blue hair, the thick smell of smoke and motor oil, the will of a thousand men.

Lux didnt know what to do but sob, sob like she did after the first time her mother beat her black and blue but this time it was her heart that was felting black and blue not her skin.

Notes:

I wasn't gonna ask this but if you wanna comment please do i love hearing feed back good or bad!

Also I planning to finish this work in the next few chapters, but I'm wondering if you yall want me to make it longer or make a part 2 and make the chapter names continue to be lyrics of said song?

Chapter 7: Not a chapter (sorry)

Hey guys im so sorry if haven't posted for a bit, it's gonna take a while before I put up my next chapter. I wasn't gonna make this but i didnt wanna leave you guys waiting.

Im going through a bit of a rough patch and can barley get out of bed, much less take care of myself.

I have to move back to my dad's for school, and it's hard on me. I love my dad and step mom but I fight with my step mom and are relationship is dwindling.(don't worry she is an amazing women we just aren't getting along) at my dad's my mental health gets worse and I have a bad relationship with my brothers.

I have an amazing relationship with my bio mom, and when she moved back in 2022 I begged to move with her but I wasn't able to (my grandma made my dad take full custody), which is when my depression got worse, and now each time I have to go back to my dad's a slip into a depression for a few weeks.

So for the next few weeks I will take a hiatus to get my shit back together, and hopefully stop feeling horrible. I'm sorry for trauma dumping but I needed to get this out so I don't feel horrible for not updating.

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 1 of You were mine