Chapter Text
"I like you, Sakura-san"
They were in the rooftop this morning, and it was only a love confession Sakura should've already getting used to. But he was never expected that the person in front of him to actually confessed, like he could expect any girl in Makochi to asked him out but this person. The one that he trust the most, was actually developed a feeling for him. He doesn't know how to react or to answer.
Nirei confessed to him was never in his bingo list.
"B-but-"
"I'm not finish yet."
Sakura clenched his fist in both side of his body, his eyes scaned the person in front of him thoroughly, like he is in total disbelieve.
"I want to tell you my actual feeling not because I want you to accept me, I know it is impossible for you. I just-"
"Nirei..."
"Listen first, please."
Nirei bites down his bottom lips, trying his best to compose himself not to look shattered and heartbroken here and there.
"It's already our last year in Furin, and... and maybe we will have our different path to the future. I confessed to you because I don't want to keep it forever, I guess you deserve to know about it, and it will also put me on ease after carried this feeling for two years now."
Nirei took a really deep breath after his long speech, he looked up to see Sakura's reaction and his heart tightened, Sakura seem to be unimpressed by all of this, he looks angry. And the way Sakura looming over him since that boy is getting much taller than his first time in high school, it makes Nirei feel so small, discourage, and vulnerable.
"I don't deserve to know about your feeling like you said."
Nirei's breath hitched, his face heated up with shame and his eyes stung with the promised tears.
"You should've keep it to yourself, Nirei."
Why is this hurt so bad?
Why does it hurts like this?
"We.. I mean, we are doing fine until today and you just-" Sakura put both of his hands inside his pants pocket annoyingly. "-you break it with your confession. How am I suppose to deal with this now? Do you think we still can be friends like we used to after this move of yours?"
"Y-yes, why not?"
Sakura squinted his eyes, like he can't believe what Nirei just telling him.
"No, Nirei. I can't look at you without remember about the moment you confessed to me. You know it is impossible for me yet you still confess your feeling. Look at how selfish you are."
Stop! Please, don't say anything else.
I heard you loud and clear.
"I can't believe this."
Nirei moved two step to the back, like he wants to escape from this situation, like he is ready to run.
"We are both guys, I can't imagine me dating you."
That's it.
Nirei can't help but gasped in pain, like he just swallowed a hard rock down his throat. He knows the outcome from his confession, he already prepared for the rejection since two years ago, but he didn't expected Sakura to actually break him with his words. He thought Sakura would be nicer and spare him a heart while rejecting him since they are good friends. But it seems like he is way too bad at reading people.
"I'm sorry if my confession making you uncomfortable, S-Sakura-san" Nirei looked down on his feet while fidgeting with his fingers "But I didn't ask you to date me."
Sakura clicked his tongue, both hands on the hips now, he sighed deeply as he noticed how Nirei's demeanor seem to be more pressured.
"I know you didn't ask me to, but.. I can't see you the same anymore after this, Nirei."
Nirei's voice is hoarse as he speak, "Are you, disgusted of me?"
Sakura seems to be taken a back by that question he didn't expected, disgusted? Him?
Nirei can never be disgust him, it was just too sudden for him to find out that one of his closest friend is gay, and the said person is in love with him. But even due to that fact, he is not disgusted by Nirei, he was just surprised. And he couldn't put a comprehend words into that.
"I-I'm not saying it like that."
Nirei smiled warily, "It's okay if you are. I won't be mad, I used to be called disgusting, a plague, a mistake, and many hurtful words in middle school. So, this is should be nothing."
Nirei finally looked up to see Sakura, his eyes glistening with tears, but he couldn't care less. He already showed Sakura more than this side of him anyway.
Sakura staring at him with a lot more softer look than before.
"This should be nothing, I don't blame you though, Sakura-san. Anybody will say the same if they were you, it just we are happened to be a really good friends, and I guess I need to give myself a reality check. That even when we are close, I could not just expected you to be different from the others."
One drop of tear was made it's way falling down Nirei's cheek and Sakura frozen in his place. He has seen Nirei cried for several times before, but it was never a cry like this. Nirei looked so lost now, his eyes unfocused, it makes Sakura feel something tugged at his heart.
"Nirei..."
"I'm sorry, I will distance myself from you started today. Thank you for your time, Sakura-san. Have a good day."
And with that, Nirei bowed his head before he went down from the rooftop, leaving Sakura with a mixed feeling he couldn't understand.
"Shit!"
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Suo was the first person to notice something had happened between Sakura and Nirei, of course he would, he is one of the vice captain after all. It had been one week for Suo to witnessed the unusual awkwardness and unspoken stare between Sakura and Nirei.
He noticed that Nirei always tried from the very best of him to avoiding Sakura in every chances, Nirei was used to always get very excited around Sakura and in whatever Sakura ask them to do. But around this week, Nirei was obviously tried his best not to care, even when Suo asked him to do the patrol together along with Sakura, Nirei will gave him enough reason to be not included.
And, Sakura seems to be already getting on his edge.
Now,
The three of them were in the middle of a small discussion after lunch, together with Kiryu, Tsugeura, and Sugishita. Nirei was explained something about how the shopping district in Makochi is getting more threats than before, from some of the different rebellious gang in the last two months.
It was not the way Nirei explained their situation that make him getting the clue, but it was the way Sakura looked at Nirei like he needs the blonde's attention while Nirei was trying hard not to spare him a glance. Not their ususal. They were all focused to the meeting except Sakura.
"Well, that's mean that we need to expand our patrol, right?" Kiryu join in gently after Nirei finished with sharing the information he got.
"That's right, Kiryu-san."
"So, we need to minimize our patrol member to expand the group over all the places."
Nirei put his point finger on his chin, face tilted up with a pout on his lips, thinking. And Suo didn't missed the way Sakura gulped at the scene.
"Well, that can work too."
"How many people in each patrol do you think would be effective?"
Nirei sighed at the question from Tsugeura, "Well, it depends on our captain's decision."
Everyone is looking at Sakura now, and the said captain was beet red. He was actually not paying so much attention on their meeting, because he was way too focused on something else.
"H-huh? What?"
Suo smirked and took the hint when he sees how flustered Sakura is right now, it was not a rare view of seeing Sakura getting embarrassed over something, but today was an exception.
"Well, you are too distracted by Nirei-kun's cuteness. Of course you won't get the discussion is about."
"WHAT?" Everyone scream in unison.
Sakura blushed so hard at that, Nirei can't tell if he is angry or embarrassed. But according to Sakura's turns down over his confession last week, he probably feeling uncomfortable by their friends reaction.
"You are not paying attention of what he explained, huh?" Sugishita growled and was ready to throw a punch.
"Sakura-chan, I know Nirei-chan is cute but can we focus, please."
Sakura is getting way too overwhelmed by their misunderstanding, so he stands up angrily as he hits the table loud enough to stratle Nirei.
"Whatever." Sakura glared at Suo "Don't speak nonsense, I would never do that."
When Sakura was about to leave, he accidentally took a glance at Nirei and he regreted his choice of words immediately. Nirei looked like he is about to cry, with his bangs covered half of his face. He must be find Sakura's words like mocking to him, like Sakura is disgusted by him.
'I didn't meant it like that, fuck!'
"I'm sorry, I think I need to go to the bathroom, you guys can continue the discussion without me."
Nirei looked up to see Sakura, "You don't need to leave, Sakura-san."
And with that, Nirei leaves. Suo is keeping his curious and worried look on Nirei's back even after the blonde boy is out of his sight.
Suo's attention is back to Sakura who still standing between them. Sakura looked like he was just making a really bad mistake, and he can't help but to feel anxious. What if something bad had happened between Sakura and Nirei?
That would be a really difficult work to deal with.
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That evening on the same day, Suo tried to talk to Nirei with his usual soft approach. Nirei was about to leave the class when Suo decided to make his move.
"Nirei-kun, can we walk home together?"
Suo smiles fondly when Nirei looked at him and nod. They walked out of the school side by side after that.
When they are already outside of the school gate, Suo finally speak his thought, Nirei only hums when Suo asked if he was feeling 'okay' today.
But Suo didn't buy it.
"Nirei-kun, you can tell me anything that bother you. You should've know that."
Nirei smiled, only to be replaced by a trembling eyes when he realized that Suo was already reading too much into it, he can never escape his best friend for everything happened to him.
"I confessed to Sakura-san."
Suo stopped in his track, not that he was surprised by the confession Nitei aimed to, because Nirei having a crush over Sakura is not a secret to him. He was just surprised because he thought that Nirei would have told him first before he took a chance to do it.
"W-when exactly?"
Nirei keeps on walking ahead, slowly, like he dragged his feet.
"I don't remember."
Suo sighed deeply while looking at Nirei's slumped back, he could guessed the result by only looking at how stressed Nirei is right now.
Suo matched his step with Nirei not long after, he tangled his hand oround Nirei's shoulder and give it a firm squeeze.
"It's okay, it will pass."
Nirei only hums as the answer, he looked up to see Suo whose smiling fondly at him, he returned the smile as well.
"Thank you, Suo-san."
Suo ruffles Nirei's blonde locks lightly, "Don't hesitate to come and talk to me about everything.Hm?"
"Yeah."
"And I don't think Sakura-kun hated you, he maybe just feel pressured and don't know what to do about it."
Nirei widened his eyes, Suo is just too good at reading the situation, he has not even told Suo anything about the detail.
"Well, he seems disgusted with me."
Suo raised one of his eyebrow, "Hm? I don't think so."
Nirei jabbed Suo's side by his elbow, "Now, you seem like picking his side."
"Hey! I'm just being neutral here, okay? I can't stand watching two of my best frieds acting like a stranger to each other, and we still need a year to work together as a team."
Nirei huffed, "I just need to move on very fast, then."
"Well..." Suo shrugged and letting go of Nirei's shoulder, "...you don't need to rush anything. Who knows that Sakura-kun might actually reciprocate his feelings to you."
"That's impossible."
"Nothing is impossible, Nirei-kun."
Nirei walking faster and leaving Suo behind, "You're always talking nonsense."
And Suo only laughed hard at that.
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