Chapter Text
When Kim Sunoo accepted the invitation to participate in the survival show I-Land, he never anticipated this.
Expression blank, he sat frozen, staring at the man across the table – the doctor – whose calm, steady voice contradicted the earth-shattering weight of his words. He spoke as if everything he said was routine. Normal. Acceptable. But to Sunoo, each word landed like a stone, building a mountain of dread in his chest. His breath shortened. His surroundings warped. The doctor’s voice faded into a distant, muffled hum as if Sunoo was underwater. His vision blurred. Every nerve in his body tensed as though his system was trying to protect him – shield him – from a reality too cruel to process.
He wasn’t just spacing out. He was spiraling, plunging into another world, or maybe out of this universe entirely. Logic slipped away. Conscious thought scattered. All that remained was a storm of emotion, loud and violent, crashing against his mind like waves on crumbling cliffs. His body sat in that sterile office chair, but every part of him felt displaced, detached. Broken.
And then the first tear fell.
The doctor paused mid-sentence, clearly thrown off by the silent tear that traced down Sunoo’s cheek. But that single drop was just the beginning. Like a dam shattering under pressure, a stream of tears followed – heavy, messy, unstoppable. Sunoo’s shoulders shook as he buried his face in his hands, his sobs filling the silence that had settled in the room.
The doctor, helpless, reached for a box of tissues, offering them gently across the table. But Sunoo didn’t move to take them. He just cried harder.
“What am I supposed to do?” He gasped through the heartbreak, his usually soft and pretty voice now cracked and trembling. The question repeated, growing louder, more desperate with each breath, “what am I supposed to do?”
The doctor had never seen a patient react like that to this kind of diagnosis. From the outside, one might’ve assumed Sunoo had just been told that he had terminal cancer.
What they wouldn’t understand is: he may as well have been.
Because for Kim Sunoo, it was the end of a life he’d built in his head. The life he’d fought for. Dreamed of. And now, it was being rewritten by something out of his control.
Later that evening, long after the sobbing had quieted and the doctor’s words had stopped echoing in his mind, Sunoo walked aimlessly through the lively streets of Seoul. One foot after another. Slow. Tired. Empty.
The evening breeze brushed against his face, trying to soothe the rawness left behind after hours of crying. His eyes were puffy, his face stained with the aftereffects of heartbreak. But he didn’t care. And neither did the passersby. That’s one positive thing coming from the pandemic, everyone was hidden behind their masks.
For the first time, Sunoo found comfort in that anonymity.
He exhaled shakily, trying to calm the ringing silence in his head, when his phone buzzed in his pocket. He’d ignored it before. Multiple times for hours in fact. But this time, the vibration pulled him out of the trance just enough to check.
The screen lit up, far too bright for his strained, swollen eyes. He squinted, blinking several times before the name on the screen finally registered.
12 unread messages, 3 missed calls
Group chat ‘Stage kings 👑’
[25.05., 17:18] Jake hyung: Sunoo
[25.05., 17:18] Jake hyung: wya??
[25.05., 17:25] Jake hyung: you’re still coming, right?
[25.05., 17:26] Jake hyung: you know practice started at 5, right??😔
[25.05., 17:28] Jake hyung: just because you got complimented yesterday by the coach doesn't mean you can slaeck off today
[25.05., 17:28] Jake hyung: You know that right?
[25.05., 17:29] Jake hyung: We gotta practice 💪💪
[25.05., 17:29] Lee Youngbin: Slack*
[25.05., 17:29] Jake hyung: Is that important rn 😑
[25.05., 17:30] Lee Youngbin: Hahaha
[25.05., 18:05] Lee Youngbin: Sunoo, are you okay?
[25.05., 18:05] Lee Youngbin: We’re starting to worry, please call back
───new messages───
[25.05., 18:06] Jake hyung: Sunoo’s here!
Sunoo had finally caught up with the messages. There weren’t that many, but it felt like a ton with how much energy reading took. Sunoo stopped walking in the middle of the passageway and started typing.
[25.05., 18:07] Jake hyung: Young man, you better be on your way!
[25.05., 18:07] Sunoo: I’m not coming
Sunoo felt forced to turn off his phone entirely to avoid the constant buzzing.
・・✦︎・・
When Sunoo turned on his phone, he was surprised to see that it was a few minutes away from hitting 11 pm. Today did feel weird, from the sense of time to everything that’s happened, like a dream that let go of every rule.
The trainee wouldn’t be surprised if this crazy day ended up being a nightmare he would wake up from any time. He felt so disconnected from his brain and body, which made the situation even more surreal.
He found himself sitting alone at a convenience store table, its surface loaded with a bunch of emptied snack packages and two ramyeon cups Sunoo had consumed all in one sitting. Remaining was the mint chocolate ice cream tub he munched on happily.
If he had to be this miserable and devastated, at least his stomach deserved to be spoiled, so he thought whilst treating himself and spending his remaining salary on food all at once.
He thought of it as strategic spending anyway, since he’d participate in a survival show he might end up committed to for weeks-
Sunoo froze in his motion and dropped his spoon in the tub.
Well, that would be if I can still participate.
With a big sigh and the anxiety rising through the roof, he picked up his phone.
Sunoo went straight to dial a number, overlooking all the missed calls and messages. After a few seconds of ringing and nervous lip-biting, the other end picked up and got the first word in.
“Oooh, I get to hear from my little brother two days in a row, what an honor! What’s the occasion?” She said in her bright, mocking tone that was always so uplifting for Sunoo. It made him miss her more than ever as his eyes became teary once more.
The familiar voice started speaking to break the suspicious silence, this time, in a much more serious tone.
“Sunoo, are you alright? Tell me, did something happen?”
At that, Sunoo’s lips started trembling. He had to gather all his strength to refrain from crying once more, but he still whined out loud.
“Seona noona…”
“Yes, It’s me.”
“Noona… what do I do?”
“My sweet Sunoo, I’m dying from worrying over here, please tell me what happened.”
“I’m an omega.”
Silence.
Then came Sunoo’s maniacal laughter, tearing apart the tension like a razor.
“Sunoo, you must be joking, right?”
“It is funny, right? It’s so funny I feel like dying.”
Seona at that point realized that her brother had finally lost his mind. He was a lost case, and he couldn’t be blamed.
Kim Sunoo manifested as an omega out of nowhere.
It was not that common for a male to present as an omega in the first place, just as it was rare for a woman to be an alpha.
“Sunoo, I always knew you were one of a kind. To be born this handsome and talented, of course, you even beat the genetic lottery.”
“Yah… is this the time to joke about my fate?!”
“You have to admit, it is funny.”
She wasn’t wrong. With two beta parents and just a faint trace of an omega in the bloodline, the odds of Sunoo manifesting at all – let alone as an omega – were microscopic.
One in a billion, maybe.
And yet, here he was.
“But you’re not exactly a dominant omega, right?”
“Nope,” Sunoo exhaled. “I’m a recessive.”
“I see, makes sense.”
There was a brief moment of silence between the Kim siblings.
“Okay so, what are you gonna do?”
“Noona. That’s what I asked first, so tell me, what do I do? You’ve got to help me, you’re supposed to be the smart one out of the two of us…”
“Fine, fine, stop trying to butter me up. When does the program start again? Isn’t… Isn’t it this week?!”
“Mh, on Thursday. In three days.” The tension between the Kims only grew, and so did the silence. Sunoo spooned his ice cream and stuffed his mouth with sweetness in frustration.
“You still want to participate?”
“You know I do… I’d hate for this to be the reason I fail.”
“I have to ask as your responsible elder sister. You’re aware of the risks, right?”
“…Yeah?”
“You’re participating with how many? 20ish boys? How many of them are gonna be alphas, and who knows, there might be dominants there too. The air will be drowned in their pheromones, and it’s gonna affect you. A ton. Or worse, you go in heat in response – or leak and cause one of them to go in rut, and then-“
“Noona, enough! Just… stop it. I know. And I’m scared. I’ve already thought about all possible scenarios and even worse ones for the past six hours and trust me, I know!”
Sunoo’s voice was trembling and cracking as he spoke and he became aware of how emotional he had become. He gave his surroundings a quick scan to realize to his relief that the convenience store was as empty as a ghost town. He had been the only customer for a while now, and the cashier wasn’t minding him, having his headphones on and staring at his phone. Still, Sunoo decided to speak in a lower voice from that point on, not allowing himself to act on his emotions.
“It’s just… I want to make it work, so bad really – I really want to give it a shot. I haven’t been as dedicated to anything as I am to this, noona. I’ve practiced so much and who knows when I’ll get another chance to debut again, if ever.”
“…You’re right. I’m sorry. I get what you need now, so... just give me a few seconds to think.” Sunoo started pouting and picked up his spoon to continue eating his Ice cream that was melting away, giving her the time she needed to organize all this mess.
It felt so incredibly good to have finally opened up about this. To have someone to share all his problems with, Sunoo felt a sense of relief in his chest, but at the same time, the worries only felt more real now that they’ve been voiced out loud.
And so, their call fell silent.
While waiting patiently for his noona to sort out her thoughts, the soft sound of a ringing bell caught Sunoo’s attention. He turned his head to the entrance, and there he saw two tall, young boys dressed in baggy clothes, their faces covered with black masks. They greeted the cashier politely who finally put his phone away in response, welcoming them.
The boys seemed familiar to the young trainee sitting at the table. At first, it was hard to recognize them with their faces covered, but once he heard their voices, Sunoo realized who they were – especially with the proportions of the male walking behind his friend, Sunoo could recognize him with ease.
It was Park Sunghoon.
And the boy walking in front of him was probably Park Jongseong.
Sunoo, as a Belift trainee, knew his fellow trainees by their faces and names, but honestly, it was still a little hard sometimes to match the names to the faces.
There were just far too many trainees to be able to keep track of them. New faces came and went each month. When Sunoo first heard rumors of which trainees received an invitation for the survival show program, he struggled to sort out his soon-to-be competitors. In all honesty, he hadn’t ever heard from most of them.
That, however, did not apply to the two boys walking into the store, filling the room with their pheromones screaming their presence.
Park Sunghoon and Park Jongseong.
Along with Lee Heeseung, these three trainees were practically the idols of the trainees. You would at least know them by their names, as they would pop up high in the monthly evaluations. They were known for being BigHit’s favorites, too. Honestly, Sunoo would be more surprised if they weren’t to debut off the show.
But there was also another reason for Sunoo to effortlessly recognize one of the trainees.
Sunoo remembered the first time he met Park Sunghoon.
They didn’t really have a proper conversation aside from meaningless formalities. They truly didn’t have much to do with each other, at all.
Weeks or months would pass without them crossing paths at all.
But sometimes, if he was lucky, their practices would overlap, leaving a tingling feeling in Sunoo’s chest. Whispering that it must be fate.
Whenever it did, Sunoo caught himself staring at the males reflection in the mirror one too many times.
His visual wasn’t to joke with. There was just something about him. He still remembered vividly the impact Sunghoon had on him at the very first sight, and how he found him so incredibly handsome that he forgot how to breathe.
Sunoo even described him to be Cha-Eunwoo-level-of-handsome when he fanboyed to Youngbin, who fell victim to Sunoo’s yapping and fanboying over Sunghoon at that time.
That was how Sunoo effortlessly identified that male standing further away, taking leisure steps in the store. Not once did Sunoo need to ask anyone for Park Sunghoon’s name to remember. Not once did he second-guess his statue for truly being him. He just knew, without a doubt, that it was him.
To be frank, Sunoo may or may have not looked up Park Sunghoon online and found a few videos of him on the ice rink.
He might have spent a few hours in total watching his videos over and over again, maybe.
He didn’t know him. And yet, he recognized him better than he would any of his high school mates, if he were to cross paths with them out on the street.
However, this time, it did feel like there was something new coming with Sunghoon. Something Sunoo yet didn’t get to know, didn’t get to sense. Something too unfamiliar for him to realize that it was Sunghoon’s. It was permeating the air, soon filling his lungs with every breath.
This time, too, Sunoo stayed true to himself and stared at Sunghoon. He was wearing an oversized white sweatshirt with baggy black cargo pants. His hands were leisurely tucked in his pockets as he followed Jongseong’s lead.
“So, what are we getting?” Jongseong asked.
“Ramen for me,” Sunghoon answered.
“Same here.”
“Okay, first things first, you’re not saying anything to Mom and Dad, you know this, right?”
Sunoo almost jumped up from his chair when he heard his sister’s voice interrupt his eavesdropping. He came back to his senses and blushed, staring down at his remaining ice cream as he committed to spooning it once more. He gave a nod in agreement, as if his sister could see it.
“Of course not, you know how protective they are...”
“Secondly, will you be able to hide it from the company? Won’t they make you go through subgender tests?”
“ I did it already…”
“And??”
“It was when I passed the audition last year. I was a beta at that time.”
“So, you’re safe?”
“I guess so…?” Sunoo started to panic whilst rubbing his temple, “According to their policy, they keep in check with trainees under the age of 17 frequently. That’s why when I joined, they only made me go through it once. So… I should be safe, right?” Sunoo started biting his nails nervously. He’d signed to become a trainee less than a year ago when he was still 17 years old.
Although Sunoo would still be considered 16 in international age, his Korean age was 18. “What if I suggest them to consider extending the testing period, you know. Apparently, some people present later, such as…me! Surprise~! You just debuted an o-“ Sunoo stopped when he realized he probably should not shout his subgender to be revealed publicly.
"Whatever," he pouted defeatedly.
“Let’s just consider you lucky for being a late bloomer. Otherwise, you’d have no chance.”
Sunoo froze.
He hadn’t thought of it from this perspective yet.
He said under his breath, “You’re… right.”
It was sad but true. To this date, there was no male omega K-pop artist to make his debut aside from Holland. And well, he didn’t exactly make it big. There’s no way BigHit, or any company really, would let an omega debut in a group. That would promise a series of scandals and the downfall of any group.
Sunoo dropped his spoon and started whining loudly, growing impatient, helpless, and depressed. “Noonaaa now tell me what I should do in this mess I’m in or I’m gonna lose my shit!”
“I’m already giving it my best here! Listen, it’s completely fine, okay? So, what if you’re an omega? Look at Kard, they literally have an omega and alpha in the group!”
“…”
Are you for real right now?
Is what he thought but didn’t have the heart to say out loud. He kept his mouth shut and just decided to appreciate his sister’s attempt to persuade him. It was cute but well, foolish.
To take K.A.R.D as an example for his case really wasn’t doing its bits. Yes, they were the first group containing both genders and subgenders, which was a huge milestone achieved in the K-pop industry.
But they haven’t had an easy path.
Breaking those musical gender roles as a co-ed group brought many hardships and criticism, and to think that they’re a heteronormative representation?
So how much worse would it be for Sunoo, a male, to be an omega in a boy group – in a country that just barely started to accept same-sex-marriages. And now imagine he even were to debut in a group where a member was an alpha.
He didn’t have a chance.
In the back of his head, the topic of same-sex marriages itched Sunoo. Of course, that only applied for couples whose subgenders were legally considered a “match”, meaning the relationship contained an alpha and an omega.
Sunoo’s expression screamed disgust as he came to that realization, that now, legally, he would be allowed to marry a male if he were to be an alpha.
Sunoo knew that he was attracted to men from a young age.
He grew up knowing that he’d always face discrimination in the country he lived in. He had found peace with it, feeling lucky enough to have his family’s support and unconditional love, despite that he was a gay.
He knew to not take that for granted once he grew older and faced homophobia toward him directly during his school years.
But thinking that he was suddenly allowed to marry a man? Instead of feeling happy about the sudden privilege, he felt rather displeased.
He thought of it to be extremely old-fashioned, discriminating and simply disgusting for the government to only legalize and allow same-sex marriages with omega-alpha dynamics. Just because they had the biological advantage of bearing children together.
With these thoughts spinning in his head, he aggressively shoved another spoonful in his mouth.
“But still, you can’t tell anyone you’re an omega.”
Sunoo scoffed.
“Noona. First, you try to reassure me that it’s fine for me to debut, despite my manifestation. In the next sentence you tell me to hide it from everyone, can’t you settle first before coming at me?”
“Shush, dummy! I’m not contradicting myself, just hear me out first.”
Sunoo pouted but didn’t protest.
Then, his sister moved on to talk in a softer voice, matching the heavy, vulnerable weight the situation held.
“Sunooya. You’re gonna go to that survival show and you’re gonna absolutely kill it. You’re handsome, pretty, cute, sexy, smart and so incredibly talented. Everyone’s gonna love you, of course not as much as I love you, don’t forget that. And you’re gonna make your debut, you’re gonna be a complete legend.”
Sunoo almost teared up. Affirmations for his dreams and future were exactly what he needed. How much he wished to go buy these bus tickets, drive back to Suwon and cry in his sisters’ arms instead of having to find comfort in fucking convenience store ice creams all by himself.
“After you rock it and make your debut, we’re going to have your subgender revealed to the company.”
“So that they can kick me out asap…?”
“They- they won’t, Sunoo, don’t say that. No, don’t even think about it. The second you believe that you might as well just give up on the program, because what’s the use of those thoughts? Right? We don’t need them.”
“Alright,” Sunoo quickly wiped a tear away before it could run down his cheek and finally smiled. “Thank you, noona.”
“You’re super thankful, right? D’you feel touched? You’re speechless about what an incredible noona you have?”
“Cut it!” and he even laughed now at his incredibly dorky sister. How was she the older one when she was this childish?
“Heh. I love you, too.”
And who, if not her, would be able to make him laugh even at this miserable state?
From the corner of his eyes, he saw the two boys from before going to the cashier to pay for their groceries.
“By the way, Sunoo-ya, what are you doing?”
“I’m outside. Sitting at a convenience store by myself.”
“You were binge eating, weren’t you?”
“I wonder who I take after…”
They both chuckled reminiscing about the past, when Seona forced her little middle schooler brother to sneak out of the house with her late at night for snacks when she needed comfort the most, buying them all the foods they craved and filling their stomachs.
“Sassy. But I admit it. By the way, isn’t it curfew time? Are you allowed to be out right now?”
“Oh?” Sunoo tapped on his phone to unlock the screen and glance at it. They’ve been calling for half an hour now.
“You’re right, it’s past eleven…”
At the same time, the two boys walked close to Sunoo, hanging around by the microwave to heat up and prepare their food while chitchatting. But Sunoo was too distracted by his phone to pay attention or acknowledge their presence.
“Woah, who knew the day would come when my precious angel would become a rule breaker. I can’t believe it. What a bad boy you’ve become.”
Sunoo pouted. He was very diligent, following the rules and causing no trouble. He felt the sense of guilt rise, feeling anxious about getting caught once he would get back.
Once he got confronted with the gravity of his friend’s unread messages and missed calls, the guilt scale hit max in record time.
His jaw dropped as he hissed, “Fuck. I messed up.”
“He even slurs, wow, Kim Sunoo. You really changed. Forget becoming an Idol.” She enjoyed teasing her little brother and his cute reactions, who instantly whined in response and told her to take it back, and that now wasn’t the time.
At the same time, the two boys moved to take their seats only two chairs away from Sunoo, who finally became aware of them and his own behavior all at once.
He froze as his peers dragged the chairs back and sat down. His mind was running wild to sort out what he was saying all this while.
Truly, what did he say? He cussed. Anything else? What else did they hear him say?
Sunoo suddenly felt incredibly uncomfortable in his own skin, thinking that he must look like a mess after all the tears he shed.
Swiftly, he pulled up his face mask that was dragged down below his chin all this while to cover his face embarrassedly. He had finished his ice cream anyway, so it wouldn’t be in the way.
Aside from his bubbly, transparent personality, Sunoo could easily get very shy too – especially toward his fellow trainees who he wasn’t close with at all.
Especially with Park Sunghoon.
If it were up to him, he would have liked to avoid facing them in his current state. Still, it would be disrespectful to just ignore them, and Sunoo felt responsible for greeting them, being the youngest after all.
That’s why, after quickly adjusting both his mask and his bangs, he turned his head to face the two trainees who had pulled down their masks.
To his surprise, he caught Sunghoon looking at him.
“H-hello…” Sunoo stuttered, caught off guard by Sunghoon’s eyes locked on him, making him miss the very first tone of his greeting. He quickly cleared his throat, awkwardly bowing his head and politely greeting the elder trainees once more. Luckily, Sunghoon was quickly to look away, too.
“Hello,” they replied with a nod and committed to their food soon after.
Sunoo still picked up on Sunghoon awkwardly gulping after he turned away from him, burying his head in his ramyeon cup and slurping those noodles as if he hadn’t eaten the whole day. His friend seemed to return the gesture by the sound of their eating.
After having looked away, Sunoo began cleaning up the mess on the table he left behind. There were so many pieces of evidence of how much he had eaten over the course of the past few hours, and his ears became a bright red. They must think I’m a pig now…
Hurriedly, Sunoo stuffed the packages in his empty ramyeon cups.
A sudden shift in the air made Sunoo freeze mid-motion.
His arms hung mid-air, fingers clenched around a torn candy wrapper.
The scent hit him softly – not loud or overwhelming, but present. Warm and deliberate, wrapping Sunoo in its sensation as a whole.
His breath hitched. The store disappeared.
The warm summer breeze gently brought him the scent of a certain wood Sunoo wasn’t yet familiar with. The woody and creamy notes wrapped around him like a soothing embrace, transporting him to a place of tranquillity.
Sunoo felt as though he lay on a field of grass, the sun shining on his skin and blessing him with its comforting warmth.
All the aches pooling in his gut disappeared, and he felt as though the aroma helped alleviate all his worries.
Alongside the captivating fragrance of wood was another scent, much more mystical. It was way too complex to describe with a few words, as though a combination of multiple scents created into one.
Overall, Sunoo described it as warm, musky, and rich – and still soft and resinous, slightly sweet even.
Their pheromones, to Sunoo at least, seemed very harmonious – blending into this beautiful, exotic scenery.
Sunoo, fully caught in his trance, slightly leaned toward the two – almost instinctively taking the initiative to shorten the distance. He desired more, wanting to find out what these two scents represented.
“… Sunoo? You there?”
Sunoo opened his eyes in an instant.
What… is this?
He turned his head back towards the boys, looking back and forth between the two of them.
Are they both alpha?
Jongseong just took his next bite when he looked up to see Sunoo staring at them as if he’d seen a ghost. At first, he looked behind him as if to check if he was staring at someone behind him – but no question, he definitely was staring at him.
Questioningly, he returned the glance.
Sunoo thought that his gaze felt so intense for some reason. His narrow, dark hawk eyes looked right back at him without shying away once he locked in. Sunoo was at a loss for what to do. He had just witnessed his body react to practically strangers without a hitch of control or any sort.
Sunoo was genuinely frightened.
He first-handedly witnessed the gravity alphas would have on him from now on, and how cautious he should be.
He felt his stomach turn at the realization that he’d be completely powerless in his current state, and he started to panic that he himself had started to release pheromones in response to being exposed to theirs.
Sunoo jumped from his chair abruptly, swiftly picking up his trash and stacking it in his arms one by one. He hurriedly moved over to the trash can to dump his load in it. How ironic that it just had to be right behind Jongseong’s seat. Sunoo held his breath, helplessly refusing to inhale any more of their addictive pheromones.
“Noona, urm, I have to go, I’ll call you back later. Hanging up.” Sunoo whispered, hanging up on her whilst moving away from the scene.
Jay felt dumbstruck.
Why did he stare at me like that?
Sunoo was just acting way too suspicious; Jay couldn’t help but feel curious. He watched him walk off, eventually disappearing somewhere behind the shelves.
“…What was that?” Jay blinked several times. He had just realized how he had made a whole torso twist to watch the trainee leave. That’s how intrigued he was. He turned to sit normal once more.
“You saw that?” Jay asked his friend, who seemed so unbothered by the whole scene. Jay started to doubt he’d even witnessed any of that.
“Hm, what do you mean?”
“…”
Jay watched Sunghoon cluelessly eat his ramyeon, the only sound leaving his mouth from his slurping.
Crickets.
“…Never mind.” Jay went back to eat with a sigh, shaking his head at Sunghoon’s denseness as he gave up on him before he even tried him.
Sunoo in the meantime fled to the other end of the grocery store, leaning against the icy door of refrigerated shelves. His hand clenched onto his throbbing chest. Sunoo gasped for air as though he had hours of practice behind him.
He lifted his phone and unlocked his screen. It was only when he entered the pin that he realized how he was trembling.
Sunoo brushed the symptoms away, not minding them.
He finally felt ready to be confronted with reality, and so, he clicked on the little icon of KakaoTalk that displayed a red 83 notification symbol on its corner. He felt the sense of guilt tighten his throat. 75 messages came directly from Jake. The rest came from their unit group chat. As he was contemplating on which chat to open first, a notification popped up. His sister sent him a message. So that’s the first one he clicked on.
[25.05., 23:32] Diva noona: Let’s move on here since you hung up on me. I just booked a bus ticket to Seoul. I’ll arrive at your company by 2 pm. Imma grab Lunch for you and your friends, so don’t eat. Let’s speak about the rest in person.
[25.05., 23:32] Diva noona: And now go home quickly!
[25.05., 23:33] Diva noona: Try to stop overthinking and just head to sleep fast, okay?
[25.05., 23:33] Sunoo:
[25.05., 23:33] Sunoo: Noona…
[25.05., 23:33] Sunoo: I think I’m gonna cry
[25.05., 23:33] Diva noona: fkn softie
Sunoo chuckled out loud.
[25.05., 23:34] Sunoo: My eyes just got dryer than a desert
[25.05., 23:34] Diva noona: better be true, you look ugly as hell crying smh
Sunoo shook his head giggling, sending her a funny sticker cussing her out, and left the chat. His laughter instantly died at the sight of Jake’s messages. Once he clicked on their chat, he gasped at the gravity of how much he had sent him. He scrolled down real fast, not wasting his time to read those from hours back. He finally reached the bottom and began reading the latest ones. It came only minutes ago.
[25.05., 23:07] Jake hyung: You owe me Sunoo. Just covered your absent ass from manager-nim
[25.05., 23:29] Jake hyung: Sunooya please for fks sake. Say SOMETHING
[25.05., 23:29] Jake hyung: You’re coming home tonight… right??
[25.05., 23:35] Sunoo: I’m really sorry and thank you. I’ll be on my way back now so don’t worry. Head to sleep first!
But as soon as Sunoo delivered the message, it got a tick for being read. His jaw dropped. Right after came the pop-up of an incoming call. Sunoo choked on his breath, hesitating for a second before picking up.
“Hyu-”
“Where are you!?”
“Hyung, I’ll explain-“
“Tell me where you are right now.”
“U-uh, At the 7-Eleven two blocks away. Not far…”
“Are you okay? Should I come get you?”
Sunoo chuckled. “Why’d you wanna come. I’ll come by myself. Anyways, craving any sweets? Want me to bring you something?”
“What? No, Sunoo, just- just get back here quickly. I’ll be waiting.” And so, he hung up.
Sunoo pouted. It was the first time Jake sounded like this, even over phone.
This serious and worked up. It was scary. But maybe Sunoo was just misunderstanding things since they weren’t face to face, maybe he wasn’t as mad as he sounded. At least he hoped so.
Sunoo still decided to go against his hyungs words and pick a few things to take back home. That’d help his conscience and eventually persuade his angry hyungs for having ditched and ghosted them.
After having picked a few of their favorite snacks he went to the cashier. He froze after opening his purse.
The cashier’s voice still rang in his ears, “It’s 16,900won, please.”
The day couldn’t get any worse, right? Sunoo had completely forgotten how he had spent all of his money recklessly before, and it had all ended up in his stomach.
Stupid, dumb Sunoo-
As the young trainee was biting down his lips and clenching his purse that only had a pathetic 500₩ coin in it, he kept insulting himself internally.
The heat rose in his neck, ears, and even cheeks. Embarrassedly, he started picking up the items whilst talking in a quiet, high-pitched voice, his shoulders tensed upward. “I-I’m sorry sir, I changed my mind, I’ll put them back…”
“Paying by card, please.” Said a familiar voice, coming from Sunoo’s left, interrupting his insecure mumbling.
Sunoo’s eyes widened as a stretched-out arm invaded his sight, holding a credit card that was passed to the cashier.
Sunoo almost snapped his neck turning to his savior, his angel, his knight – whoever he might be – and saw the nonchalantly smirking side profile of none other but Park Jongseong.
He hadn’t noticed before, at least not that he could remember, but right now, his thoughts were filled with admiration for his visuals. Was he always this good looking? Or was it because Sunoo never was this close to him before?
Besides his visuals, there was something way more mesmerizing about him.
His scent.
His facial structure was strong and clear-cut. The statement earrings drew attention to his sharp jawline. He wore extravagant jewelry, dangling from his neck and garnishing his wrist and fingers, complementing his confident style.
Despite Jay’s defined features, he managed to look soft and gentle at the same time.
And his scent managed to capture that soft, tender side of him perfectly.
The scent of his pheromones mixed with his rich cologne into this warm, resinous fragrance, making Sunoo lean toward him subconsciously.
It was deeply layered with notes of earthy richness and a hint of sweet vanilla. Sunoo just found out that this complex scent he couldn’t make out earlier must have come from Jay, while Sunghoon’s pheromones were the woody notes.
But as for Jay, his scent was just far too complex and multifaceted for him to put into a few words. Without his friend by his side, it had a whole other effect in the air and atmosphere.
Sunoo started feeling drowsy the more he stayed exposed to them.
Jay’s pheromones made his body loose up from its tense posture, shoulders dropping down comfortably once more. His guards lowered, instinctively feeling drawn to the alpha next to him.
Suddenly, his subject of observation looked right back at him. Though the very hawk eyes that intimated him so easily before seemed way more friendly now despite there being no visible change.
They looked into each other’s eyes for what felt like an eternity for Sunoo. He never looked away.
But it was not more than a few seconds in reality. Sunoo only turned to look down at the touch on his forearm. Jay had gently grabbed for him to motion how he could let go of the groceries he had started to pick up, wanting to put them back in their rightful places before.
When Sunoo looked back up at Jay’s face, he received a soft nod reassuring him. And so, he loosened his grip and let the items down gently. Jay withdrew his hand at his cooperation, giving him a small grin.
Sunoo finally got a grip and stopped staring at Jay. Awkwardly, he stepped back, letting the older take over.
Embarrassedly, he stared down the counter, breathing through his mouth as if he were to avoid Jay’s pheromones from now on.
He was too innocent and inexperienced to know that pheromones did not work like that and weren’t to be avoided this easily.
Jay meanwhile was busy with the transaction. He received both his card and the bag of groceries that the cashier packed up for them. With the bag in hand, he took the lead to move away from the cash register.
A few steps away from the exit was where he stopped. He turned to look at Sunoo, who now avoided his eyes at all costs and stood there well behaved, his hands intertwined.
“There you go.” Jay stretched out his arm, offering Sunoo the bag of snacks.
Sunoo bit down his lip. He received the bag in a polite manner using both of his hands and proceeded to bow deeply. “Thank you so, so much, really.”
“It’s fine,” Jay felt rather awkward with Sunoo being this level of polite. “Also, drop to casualties. We’re the same age anyways.”
“No, you’re my hyung-nim.”
Jay raised his eyebrows, eyes radiating ‘I am?’
He recognized the boy standing in front of him from a few encounters, but they hadn’t talked aside from one brief introduction at most. For him to even remember their age differences surprised him.
“Uhm, I’m Kim Sunoo, a trainee at Belift…” Sunoo introduced himself after having picked up on the others facial expression.
“I know, I’ve seen you before, sorry I didn’t remember. My name is Park Jongseong.”
“Park Jongseong,” Sunoo said in unison to Jay’s voice and smiled proudly. “I know.”
Jay was once more stunned. He blinked a few times and scoffed with a soft chuckle, raising his hand to scratch his neck. Sunoo’s eyes followed the motion of his slender fingers adorned with silver rings, and noticed a birthmark on his left neck side, right beneath his jawline.
“You have a strong memory, haha. Okay, Sunoo-ssi, I’ll make sure to remember you.”
“No no, it’s fine,” Sunoo waved his hand and shook his head, as if to tell him that he didn’t have to try so hard.
Sunoo wasn’t anyone special. His training period hadn’t been that long, and he wasn’t particularly confident in his skills. He still had a lot to learn. He couldn’t be compared to Jay, it was only natural for Sunoo to know someone like him. Just as it was as natural for him to not know him.
“You can call me Jay, and really. Drop the honorifics. I don’t care for those, I’m American.”
Sunoo laughed and hid his smile with his palm habitually, although he’d been wearing a mask hiding his face already.
Why is he like that?
Sunoo thought Jay was really funny. It was such a goofy and unexpected thing to say, one just typically wouldn’t have this flow in a conversation with someone you barely know. His straightforwardness reminded him of Jake and Sunoo wondered why he felt so intimidated by him when he was this easily approachable.
“Alright!” All of a sudden, Sunoo dropped the honorifics to Jay’s satisfaction.
Jay returned his laugh in a deeper tone and a smirk, revealing his dimple.
“Then, can I ask for your number, hyung?”
“Huh?”
“You paid for all these. Please give me your number so that I can get back to you and pay you back.” Sunoo insisted with big, innocent eyes, to which Jay lifted his hand to scratch his neck once more.
It must be a habit of his.
“Damn,” Jay sighed. “Having a cute boy ask for my number would’ve felt better if not for that reason.”
Sunoo blurted a laugh. Really, that hyung wasn’t normal. How did he not cringe from saying that?
He watched him dig his phone out of his pocket, unlock it and finally hand it to him, to which Sunoo quickly dialed his number. He hesitated for a brief moment, then boldly decided on saving his number as “ddeonu” on the strangers phone.
At the soft vibration in his pocket, he hung up and returned the phone to its owner.
“Thanks. I’ll go now then. See you tomorrow, hyung, and again: thanks a bunch!”
Jay couldn’t see his smile, but the way the slanted fox eyes became even narrower gave away how he must’ve beamed at him. He raised his hand to return the gesture of waving him goodbye. He was impressed by how the boy went from awkwardly avoiding him to becoming all friendly in a matter of minutes. Jay felt proud of himself for having made up to him.
The door was made out of see-through glass. That allowed Jay to watch Sunoo leave long after having said their goodbyes. For some reason, his eyes were glued on him until he disappeared from his eyesight, having taken a turn to the left at the very end of the street far away.
Jay nodded at the thought that it was the direction their dormitories were.
Only then did he realize that his neck was stretched out, forehead almost touching the glass door.
Clearing his throat, he returned to a normal posture. Then he walked back to his table.
He made a sudden halt halfway through, frowning at the way Sunghoon was staring at him.
“The hell,” he muttered, looking at Sunghoon up and down with furrowed brows.
It felt suspicious for Sunghoon to have stopped eating and staring at him so intensely.
You know how he is, he didn’t even care a bit before, did he?
Jay avoided his gaze and went to sit down, grabbing his chopsticks and eating.
“What was that?” Sunghoon asked.
“What do you mean?” Jay evaded, speaking with a full mouth of ramyeon.
He smirked at the irony of how the tables had turned, only that Jay was playing clueless and not being straight-up clueless. He watched Sunghoon’s stern face, amusement mirrored on his own while chewing contently.
“Do you know him?” He didn’t let him off the hook.
“Yeah. He’s a trainee as well. Pretty cute.” Jay answered.
“First you scare him away, then you buy the stuff for him and force him to be all friendly with you?”
Jay’s smile dropped. He felt played. Sunghoon wasn’t being clueless, he was playing it, too!
“Yah,” Jay let go of his chopstick, grabbing for his soda while talking more animatedly, “When did I scare him away!”
Sunghoon softly sighed, shaking his head and clicking his tongue.
“Never mind.”
Jay’s jaw dropped.
That night, they bickered the entire way back home.
・・✦︎・・
With all the running Sunoo arrived home quicker, panting heavily.
He took his time in front of the door to catch his breath before entering, which was a good opportunity for him to mentally prepare himself in case Jake asked questions.
What he would.
And to which he wouldn’t be able to respond truthfully. So, he just wishfully thought that possibly, just maybe he was asleep by now, saving him all the trouble.
With a heavy feeling in his chest, Sunoo finally entered the apartment complex. He walked up the stairs into the dormitories where finally, he reached his room.
Of course, he was sharing his bedroom with Jake, his closest friend.
They became trainees around the same time and naturally bonded over that, sticking to each other’s side loyally. That’s why they were ecstatic when they both received the invite for the survival show and without a minute of doubt agreed on uniting for the first test.
Sunoo being the overdramatic king he was, started playing a game of spy as if he was some kind of James Bond movie. He sneaked through each hallway sticking close to the walls, peeking the next corridor before stepping in. He didn’t dare to turn the light on, instead depended on the dim flashlight of his phone, believing that he would attract less attention that way and thus avoid getting caught. Until finally he made it past the hallways to their bedroom.
Carefully pressing down the doorknob of his bedroom, Sunoo sneaked in on his tiptoes and closed the door right behind him.
It was completely dark inside, so he couldn’t see anything nor orientate himself.
Assuming Jake was asleep, he barely dared to breathe and started touching the air around him in order to walk without bumping into anything.
The moment he spread out both his arms to the front, his hand touched a living thing that nearly made Sunoo suffer a tragic heart attack and scream out loud.
“AH-”
Thanks to Jake’s incredible senses, he immediately shut down the scream by smacking his hand against his mouth.
“Geez, why’d you scream, you wanna’ wake everyone up?”
Jake slammed Sunoo against the door when he tried to shut him up and whispered right against his hand that was pressed on Sunoo’s mouth.
He held that position even after asking him the question, as if not trusting him.
But the latter freed himself by pulling his arm and gasped for air.
“You scared me, why would you stand there randomly, you should be in bed by now...!” Sunoo whined in a quiet, whispery tone.
Jake hit the light switch next to the door.
Sunoo almost thought he tried to imprison him against the wall by blocking his escape with his arm, but his delusions died as Jake dropped his arm again and stepped back on his own.
“How could I head to sleep when you’re acting like this?
“…acting like what” Sunoo started mumbling, avoiding Jake’s eyes, who only frowned at that response. He added in a quieter voice, “I was only away for a few hours…”
“Exactly. You were only away for a few hours, so why did you make it so weird by ignoring us? And until this late when your appointment should’ve ended years ago?”
Sunoo bit down his lip, not responding. Jake was right. And Sunoo honestly just didn’t know what to say or how to explain any of his behavior since he couldn’t be honest anyway, so he was left with no option but to be evasive.
And so, Sunoo didn’t answer. Instead, he grabbed Jake’s wrist to put the plastic bag of snacks in his hand.
“I brought snacks for you hyung, enjoy them and share them with Youngbin hyung too.”
And so, he slid past Jake and successfully escaped both him and the topic. He swiftly grabbed his sleepwear and disappeared in their shared en suite bathroom, closing the door behind him, which left Jake in the middle of the room alone.
Jake, for a split second, started to doubt himself. Was he overreacting all along? How could Sunoo be this nonchalant about everything after having made him go through this stress for hours?
He ran his hand through his hair with a deep sigh, threw the grocery bag beside his bed, and went over to Sunoo’s bed, which he sat down on.
He decided to wait for Sunoo and leaned back cozily, keeping himself from lying down through resting his hands on the mattress on his left and right.
After what seemed like an eternity, Sunoo finally walked back out. His hair was damp, freshly coming out from a shower, skin still moist from thoroughly put on skincare products. He wore a set of his pyjamas – a silky shirt and trousers in a light blue tone.
At the sight of Sunoo returning, Jake immediately jumped up. Sunoo’s eyes were round in surprise, and he started to pout.
“You still didn’t head to sleep? It’s really late… It’s me who’s gonna have to listen to your whining all morning.” Sunoo walked towards his hyung since his bed was right there, still a pout forming his lips as he ruffled his head with a towel, drying his hair gently.
Their room was pretty small, barely above 10m2. It didn’t have much space aside from two single twin beds at the left and right of the room and a wardrobe they had to share. Thankfully, the roommates felt quite comfortable in that setting though.
They had it worse a few months back, having to share a room with several more trainees and not having the luxury of a private bathroom by themselves, which they now did have, and Sunoo wouldn’t give it away for anything in the world, neither would Jake.
Although Jake sometimes struck a nerve with the way he wouldn’t clean up after himself, Sunoo could manage.
At least Jake was cute, and with him being his close friend, it didn’t bother him as much as it would if it were someone else’s mess.
Sunoo looked straight at Jake’s face and for a second, he got chills. It was unsettling for his hyungs expression to be this serious, this stern.
Jake was scaring him.
It didn’t suit him at all – to Sunoo, Jake was this cute, puppy like big brother. Always playful, bright and easy-going.
Sunoo couldn’t get used to his 180° turn after knowing him for over half a year.
“Answer me. Where were you all this time?
Why did you not show up at practice this afternoon?
Why did you not pick up your phone?
Did something happen?
Sunooya…
Please say something, for fucks sake!
Are you ignoring me right now!?
Aren’t you gonna answer?”
“Ahh, please, shut up!”
Sunoo was already on edge all day.
He didn’t know what to respond. All he could say were lies anyway.
At him crashing out, Jake silenced. He obeyed.
Sunoo frowned, the sudden silence in the room itching him as well. It was like nothing could satisfy him at that time. He sighed and rolled his eyes and just went on walking around the room doing stuff like cleaning after the mess he made arriving home.
Jake followed him with each and every step he took, not giving him more than an armlength space.
Sunoo didn’t complain, but he didn’t look at him, sometimes awkwardly bumping against Jake who was piercing him with his eyes.
Finally, he was done with everything, and he walked over to his bed and sat down on the edge of it. He grabbed the blanket to rearrange it, making himself ready for sleep. That’s when he finally looked up to Jake who had gone suspiciously quiet all this while, still not a word coming from him.
At the sight of him standing there with his shoulders drooped low, eyes tired and posture screaming exhaust – Sunoo finally broke.
Jake looked so incredibly stumped. His full, plush lips were pouting slightly, and his eyes glimmered pure love and care towards a friend who rejected him each time ruthlessly. He was radiating despair and a sense of helplessness.
Sunoo could swear that if he were to have dog ears, they would’ve dropped really low at that moment. He was such a puppy, how could one ignore him for long and leave him like this?
Sunoo immediately felt bad for shutting him down, like he had been doing throughout the entire day. He hastily tucked himself out of bed again.
“Hyung, I’m sorry, I really am. I want to sincerely apologize. I know our performance is on Thursday, and I am aware that we lost the entire evening of practice because of me – and I can only imagine how on edge you two must feel when we only have tomorrow left to practice and how I just selfishly threw out that opportunity for all of us. We still have so many details we need to go through, and I know how important it-“
“Sunoo.”
Jake suddenly blocked Sunoo’s view. He had been rumbling on while staring somewhere into the emptiness in front of him, caught in a daze.
Jake had grabbed him by his shoulders as he stood right in front of him, whilst Sunoo was still sitting. Sunoo looked up to face Jake, but he didn’t need to. Jake already bent over so that their faces were on the same level.
Sunoo was surprised for a second by how close they were. Jake didn’t mind; he looked deeply into his friend’s teary eyes that looked so incredibly tired and swollen and made him wonder, how many tears did he shed on his own already?
“Please calm down, alright? That’s not what’s important right now, and I don’t care about all that a bit.” His voice was sweet, soft. Like a summer breeze brushing you past an orange tree.
“It’s you I care about. I’m worried about you. And… I know something happened. Please, would you talk to me, Sunoo?”
Sunoo pressed his lips together as he felt them start to tremble. Why was his hyung so kind even after he got ignored all this while? What did he do to have him care this much about his feelings? Did he truly deserve that after having treated him like that?
“What happened at your doctor’s appointment?”
Sunoo’s eyes widened.
How did he know?
For Jake to hit the nail right on the head came so abrupt to Sunoo. It made him loose control over his emotions in a snap.
Before he could even realize it, he felt the wetness on his cheeks.
A river of tears started streaming down his eyes uncontrollably.
Sunoo, caught in the heat of the moment, threw himself in Jake’s arms by hugging him tightly around his neck.
Jake was stunned. He wouldn’t have predicted for Sunoo, who had been pretending as if everything was alright, to break down like a light switch.
It was his first time witnessing him cry to that extent.
His shoulder felt wet within seconds.
Jake hesitantly wrapped his arms around the younger who was trembling in his embrace.
“Shh, It’s okay…”
Sunoo only cried louder at that and pressed his face against his arm to silence his cries, worried that he would disturb their neighbouring dormmates. Being this close to Jake, he smelled his pheromones.
Jake smelled like oranges.
The whole room did.
Ever since he set foot inside the room.
Ever since he presented just a while ago.
Sunoo sobbed at the realization that he had noticed that fresh, sweet orange scent following him around the past few days.
It was only now that he realized that, all along,
it was Jake’s.
The same pheromones that have been affecting him during the entirety of his manifestation.
Sunoo hated the fact that he could sense the alpha in front of him, and even more so with how good he smelled to him.
How dizzy it made him and how he craved for him to release even more.
How it urged him to beg for more.
How it made him calm down and gave him a sense of peace, safety, and comfort.
He hated how it felt to be an omega, who was entirely and utterly at the mercy of an alpha such as Jake.
But Jake wasn’t just any alpha.
He was his dearest friend.
The one alpha he could afford to show his vulnerable side to.
And so, he did, clenching into the fabric of his hoodie and not letting him go in any case.
Jake, however, felt his back hurt from the awkward position he was in, still bent down to Sunoo’s level. His back felt like breaking, without exaggerating.
So, he unwrapped his arms from Sunoo’s small back and grabbed his arms to release himself from his grasp, which Sunoo forcefully denied by tightening his grip with a whimper.
“Hey, I’m not going anywhere, just let me sit down too,” Jake spoke in such a soft tone that Sunoo would only hear when he sang.
“Uh-uh”, he shook his head accordingly, refusing to let go.
“…”
Jake was honestly at a loss for words.
He didn’t understand why his dongsaeng was acting this way.
When has he ever been so clingy, really?
What he didn’t know was that Sunoo felt a huge form of embarrassment for crying to that extent, and he didn’t want Jake to see his ugly and snotty crying face at any cost.
So, what Jake did was to lower one of his arms to embrace Sunoo by his waist effortlessly. He grabbed him and lifted him up, pressing Sunoo’s body against his own.
With that, he straightened his back, forcing Sunoo to stand up right in front of him, bodies tightly pressed against each other.
Sunoo didn’t seem to bulge. He used the opportunity to hug him even closer, and Jake this time complied.
With Sunoo clinging on his neck, Jake switched the position to sit on the bed first, pulling Sunoo with him to sit next to him. First thing he did was to lift both of Sunoo’s legs with one hand, throwing them over his own thighs – so that they could hug in this bridal style of sorts.
Unless it wasn’t enough for Sunoo. He pulled himself even closer to Jake, bouncing up to reposition himself. Instead of sitting next to the Australian, he forcefully made his way to sit in between his legs.
That position allowed him to hug him so tight that their chests would be pressed against each other.
Jake let out a light groan at the sudden movement but allowed every change Sunoo initiated.
He committed once more to hugging and soothing his friend, his arms around his back, stroking over his shirt soothingly.
Honestly, Jake felt quite overwhelmed by this. He didn’t have a friend cry in his arms the way Sunoo was doing right now. The only experience he had coming close to this was when he patted Layla. He came to realize that Sunoo wasn’t much different than she was, and all he needed was some attention, comfort, and love. All of which he could gladly offer.
At some point, the crying and whining stopped and were replaced with soft trembles and sniffles.
Jake felt how Sunoo’s limbs loosened around him, and how he sobbed less frequently each time. They stayed in that position, softly hugging each other while Sunoo’s entire body leaned against Jake’s, lying on him. Solely depending on him to steadily support him. At one point Jake felt so tired he contemplated to just lay down, making Sunoo lay on top of him, but he didn’t.
Sunoo’s cheek was resting on his shoulder; face turned toward his neck. The soft breaths brushing against his skin gave him a tingly, shivering feeling at first, but eventually, he became used to it.
The elder tried to somehow glance at his friend, lowering his head, wondering what he was doing and if he had fallen asleep on his shoulder.
He could barely see Sunoo’s face in that position.
The first thing he saw was his plush lips.
Jake gulped and moved on to see his long, wet eyelashes.
His eyes were closed.
“Sunoo?”
“Mh…”
“C’mon. You can’t fall asleep like this…” he carefully grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him softly to wake him up. The plan was for Sunoo to give him an explanation for everything, not to fall asleep on him.
“Jaeyun-ah…” Sunoo whined.
Jake froze. Sunoo barely called him that, and something about the way he breathed out his name in this weak tone made him feel weird.
“Yeah, Sunoo?”
“Jaeyun…”
“Sunoo.”
“Jaeyun-ah…”
“Yeah, It’s me.”
“Hyung…”
“Mh.”
“Jaeyun hyung… I’m tired.”
“Alright,” Jake had gone quiet, his mind running twice its speed. “Let’s put you to sleep, then.”
Jake started removing Sunoo from him, softly pushing him away from himself by his shoulder, but Sunoo immediately protested by whining and clenching his hoodie with his fingertips again.
“N-no...”
“Huh?”
“Don’t let me go.”
Has Sunoo always been this complicated? Just what did he want him to do?
Jake strained all of his brain cells to come up with a solution, frowning meanwhile.
But then, his jaw dropped, and he forgot to breathe for a second in surprise.
Sunoo had suddenly pressed his face against his neck, nuzzling against it.
At first, he felt his breathing against his skin, but now he felt everything – his wet eyes and moist skin, his gently poking, pointy nose, his soft, plump lips.
What the hell was he doing?
Friends don’t do that shit.
And so, he shoved Sunoo away from himself with a force so strong that caused him to fall sideways on the mattress. Only Sunoo was still clinging to him tightly, so Jake fell right on top of him.
Luckily, he managed to successfully hold himself above him in time, his forearms resting next to Sunoo’s head.
Jake stared at Sunoo’s face in that position with widened eyes, panting against his face.
The way Sunoo looked in that position made him feel dizzy. His strands of hair fell in his face, his full lips open by a split, and then, his pheromones.
Jake was an alpha. However, he wasn’t a dominant, and thus, he wasn’t that skilled at detecting other pheromones if they wouldn’t come out that strong.
But Sunoo’s, I can promise, was leaking.
Jake just didn’t know, but his body did.
He felt hot all over, his heart beating faster, mind running wild.
Sunoo’s hazel eyes were open, looking right back at him but in a much different way.
His gaze was full of calmness as if he had no problem in the world with the position they were in right now, not finding any of this strange – being so comfortable under Jake, their faces only a few centimeters apart.
As if it was a casualty for them to be like this just like it was to drink water.
Only that, none of this in any way felt casual for Jake at all.
Never had he seen Sunoo in that light before.
But now that he felt like this, he didn’t know how to stop.
He pressed his lips together as he looked all over Sunoo’s face, who just readjusted his arms around his back, still hugging him intently. Jake felt the hair on his neck rise when Sunoo’s slim, warm fingers unintentionally brushed against the bare skin of his neck.
Thankfully, Sunoo moved his hands down by a bit when he started to needily clench his fingertips in his hoodie, wrapping him in a grip that screamed ‘I don’t want you to let me go’, equally to his eyes begging him to stay. Sunoo’s lips formed a slight pout, his eyes seemingly exhausted. They were red and swollen, only open by a split, and yet looking at him with all need. His glossy, smooth skin had a few paths of sticky, wet tears on it behind. He had never been such a mess in front of Jake before, nor had he ever lowered his guards this much.
Jake wouldn’t have recognized him for the Kim Sunoo he knew.
“Sunoo, what is it that you want?” Jake asked exhaustedly, as Sunoo didn’t show any intent of wanting to let go of him. All while being distracted by the plump, pouting lips a few centimeters away from his own.
What if I just kissed him right now?
That voice inside Jake’s head made his body heat up.
He still panted lightly, straight up staring at the lips in front of him.
“Sleep with me…”
“W-what?” Jake’s voice cracked in the middle of that. His big eyes stared at Sunoo’s.
“Sleep in my bed tonight, please.”
Jake exhaled out loud, as he held his breath subconsciously before. He felt his arms go weak and so, his head dropped down.
Jake leaned his forehead against Sunoo’s shoulder and breathed against his chest.
Damn, what the hell did I think about just now…
Sunoo was too oblivious. Unaware of the effect he had on Jake right then and there. He just innocently enjoyed the response of Jake’s body releasing pheromones even stronger all of a sudden.
“You had me there,” Jake whispered but it was so muffled, Sunoo didn’t quite understand.
“Hyung, that tickles,” Sunoo giggled at the funny feeling of Jake breathing and talking directly against his chest.
Jake removed his face from Sunoo abruptly and tried to lift himself, only to face the same obstacle of Sunoo’s hands chaining him up in that position.
“Alright. I’ll sleep with you- I mean, i-in your bed tonight. Would you… just please let go for a second, so I can turn off the lights?” He argued, tilting his head a little while patiently looking into Sunoo’s eyes, waiting for a response. The latter furrowed his eyebrows, his pout became even bigger. Although he hesitated, he finally gave in and let Jake go.
Finally.
Jake straight up jumped out of bed and touched his chest, taking a deep breath.
That Sunoo had this touchy side, he would’ve never guessed in a hundred years. His future spouse wouldn’t have it easy.
But right now, he was the troubled one. So, Jake went to open the window, cooling his head off with the chilly wind blowing in.
Get a grip, Jake, get a fucking grip on yourself. Now’s not the time to be like this.
“Hyung…?” Sunoo was confused as to what he was doing. He was supposed to turn off the lights and join him in bed, not hang by the window.
Jake really couldn’t afford Sunoo to call out for him like that. Not right now. Even the way he said hyung felt dangerous to him at that moment.
“Give me a second.” Jake went on to his bedside table and opened the first drawer. He took some meds and downed them with his bottle of water.
“Everything okay?” Sunoo pressured while crawling under his blanket. Jake didn’t face him and waited a few seconds, eyes closed.
“Yeah, just a headache.”, He lied. Those had been suppressant pills. He was afraid he’d go into a rut if Sunoo acted any weirder.
“Oh… Is it that bad?” Sunoo asked, worriedly.
“It won’t be anymore, don’t worry.” Jake grabbed his phone to look at the time. It was five minutes away from hitting 1 am.
“Okay.” He ruffled through his hair and grabbed his pillow, finally going for the light switch. With the room turning pitch dark, he headed right back to Sunoo.
His heart still beat fast, but he tried his best to pull his shit together.
He started thinking about Layla and his grandparents to turn himself off. Just as he was climbing on the bed, Sunoo already grabbed him by the collar and pulled him down, making him gasp in surprise. “Damn, alright, okay-“
Layla. Granny. Gramps.
Sunoo shamelessly wrapped his arms and legs around Jake tightly. The victim helplessly grabbed for Sunoo’s limbs to loosen them up, but he was glued to him.
He rather gave in quickly and just hugged him back, suddenly starting to mumble something quietly in English, cursing and praying for the meds to kick in fast.
Sunoo had pressed his face against Jake’s chest, but at the sound of him incoherently talking in a foreign language, he lifted his head. “Mh?”
“Nothing.”
“Mh, alright. Goodnight, Jake hyung.” Sunoo said, his legs having one of his friend’s legs imprisoned in between his, his arm tightly wrapped around Jake’s waist.
Jake slammed his hand against his face and started to rub it.
Holy. Fucking. Shit.
Sunoo was acting so fucking differently.
Was he drunk?
Wait. Did he actually drink before arriving here??
Jake suddenly grabbed for Sunoo and pulled him more upward to panickily sniff him, to which Sunoo raised his head once more. He didn’t smell any alcohol on him, just his usual skin care products that carried a fresh fruity scent, along with something new, a subtle floral tone.
Sunoo looked at him with a confused look, only that they could barely see each other aside from contours.
“What are you doing?” Sunoo asked in a soft tone, genuinely curious.
“Smelling you,” Jake answered honestly. Sunoo still looked confused, but he stopped looking at him, going ‘whatevs’.
Instead, he tugged his nose against Jake’s bare skin at his neck and began breathing in that position, leaving a shiver down Jake’s spine.
Not my neck again, come on, cut me some slack…
“Then, I’ll smell you too,” Sunoo whispered distinctly.
“You smell good, hyung…”
Jake blushed harshly.
“I do?” he stuttered, lifting his wrist to his nose and sniffing the sleeve of his hoodie cluelessly.
Good thing he showered after practice, or he would’ve been in an awkward situation now.
“Mh, very. It’s sweet.”
Jake blinked several times. His friend’s behavior was a complete mystery to him.
It was so strange to the point he got completely distracted from how curious, restless, and worried he had been about what had occurred to Sunoo that day.
At some point, Sunoo’s breathing gave away that he had fallen asleep. He sounded so calm and peaceful.
But Jake was still wide awake. His eyes were closed, though he was caught deeply in thoughts.
Sunoo’s face rested against Jake’s neck, meanwhile, his hair tingled Jake by his chin. Jake lowered his chin to put his nose against Sunoo’s scalp, breathing in his scent.
Did he add something to his skincare routine, or where’d that smell come from?
He smelled like cherry blossoms lately.