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After you learned your husband was a psychopath, and the FBI was hunting him down, to the point that the BAU came into your home, you put some distance between yourself and Elias, or Lee, whatever his name is. Some distance is putting it lightly, you cut him out of your life completely, minus getting a divorce because he wouldn’t sign the paper without seeing you, and you just couldn't make yourself do that.
You had opted against witness protection, since it was just you, and you couldn't be damned with what everyone else thought. After you had declined witness protection, you thought that was the last you'd hear from the BAU since you had already told them everything you knew.
Your phone started ringing and flashing a name, David Rossi.
Shit what could he even want you, think as you pick up the phone.
‘Hello?’ you say tentatively, hoping Rossi had called you on accident.
‘Hello, are you in the DC area?’ Rossi says without missing a beat.
‘No..’ you say trailing off, you had moved to the east coast after your husband's arrest, since you couldn't live in the house anymore, ‘Why?’
‘This is difficult for me to say,’ Rossi starts, ‘Elias is in a medically induced coma due to an injury he got in prison, and you being his wife still, are his medical proxy.’
‘Oh.’ That's all you can come up with.
‘When can you be in DC?’ asks Rossi.
‘I guess I can be there tonight,’ you say, opening up your airline app.
‘Great, come to Quantico when you get here, sorry we have to bother you with this.’ David says with a click.
Jesus you thought, this cannot be happening. You wanted to be rid of Elias, even though he was the love of your life, it doesn’t matter, he killed 61 people. But you don’t have time to dwell on that, you bought your flight which leaves in an hour and a half so you need to get to the airport.
Once you're on the plane you have some time to sit down and think, but not much since your flight was only about an hour. You start to remember the old Elias, before you knew about his crimes, how he would make you breakfast in bed, and how he surprised you with your favorite kind of dog as a puppy. Then you remember Moose, the collar of the dog you found and shudder. What are you even thinking, Elias is a ruthless killer, any good times you remember are tainted by his actions over the course of your marriage.
Once you get off the plane, JJ is there to take you to Quatico. You are quietly thankful it's her since you are the most comfortable with her. She says a quiet hello and you just nod back at her. You both get into the car silently, your mind still racing about Elias, and drive to Quatico.
When you arrive, Prentiss and Rossi sit you down to tell you what happened.
Emily starts, ‘So Elias was put into a low security prison in DC, initially in solitary,’ she pauses and Dave continues, ‘but he requested to be put into general population.’ Dave takes a deep breath and Emily continues, ‘there was an incident, where he killed 2 other inmates and was put into a coma during the struggle.’
‘Huh,’ is all you have to say after hearing that, ‘what exactly do you need me for?’
‘Well, as I said on the phone, you’re his medical proxy as his wife, you can decide to pull the plug, or see if he comes out of it.’ Dave responds.
Emily chimes in, ‘We would like to recommend you keep him alive because his network of serial killers is still out there.’
‘Okay,’ you say, ‘do whatever you want.’
‘Well it’s not that simple, you need to come down to the hospital to talk to his doctors and sign some paperwork.’ says Emily.
‘Oh okay then, let’s go, I guess,’ you say.
All three of you walk to the cars and get in one, Emily driving, Dave in shotgun, and you in the back. The ride to the hospital was silent, it was only about ten minutes, but it felt so much longer because all you could think about was actually seeing Elias. You weren't scared, you knew he would never hurt you, he had every opportunity and didn't, but he was a totally different person to you now.
Once you all arrived at the hospital, you met with some of the doctors, and heard more about Elias's condition, but it was more of a blur of information, and then one of the doctors asked if you would like to see him. You tentatively nodded yes, and she led you to his room. When you got in there, the doctors asked if you wanted to be alone with him, and you said yes. Emily and Dave told you they'd be right outside if you needed anything.
You immediately choked up when you saw him, so many emotions flowing through you seeing him there, but your prevailing thought was how peaceful he looked just laying there, no stress or anger, just him. Then you felt so guilty thinking of the now 63 people that are gone forever because of him. You just sat by his bed and cried, letting yourself feel all the emotions, you wanted to reach out and grab his hand and just hold it, but you just couldn't bring yourself to do it.
Eventually JJ came in after a while, you weren't even sure when she made it to the hospital, and she just sat with you while you cried. After a while you turned to her and asked,
‘Am I a bad person for wanting him to wake up from this and be alive?’
‘No of course not,’ JJ says, grabbing your hand, ‘you two were married for over 15 years, it’s a completely natural reaction.’
‘If you say so,’ you say, still sniffling, ‘I just feel so guilty for feeling this way, I still love who he was to me, but wasn’t who he was, was it?’
‘His love for you was genuine, our working theory was that he married you before he began killing in order to try and be normal, but he just couldn't resist his urges,’ JJ explains.
‘I wish he could have been normal, did I just not love him enough to make him normal?’
‘No amount of love could make him not be a serial killer,’ JJ says, ‘this is in no way your fault.’
After a few more minutes the doctor came in with the paperwork and handed it to you, and you began to fill it out, saying you’d like to keep him on life support and hope he will wake up on his own.
Rossi comes in to thank you and tell you that you can leave,
‘Actually, I’d like to stay with him tonight if that's okay,’ you say.
‘Of course,’ Rossi says, ‘just know if you leave, we will call you if anything changes in his condition if you want to leave at any point.’
‘Thanks.’
Once Rossi leaves, you sit there for a few moments, until a nurse comes in and changes his IV drip. After they leave, you get up and close the door, and just break down, yelling at Elias for the first time since you knew he was a serial killer, even if you’re not sure if he can hear you.
‘How could you do this to me?! I did nothing but love you unconditionally, all I wanted was for us to be happy and you just went and stomped all over it! I mean what the fuck is wrong with you, was i not enough for you? Was my love and our vows not fucking good enough, you just had to have more!! And why the fuck was having more being a murder, what is wrong with you?? I don’t understand how you could do this to me!!!’
You could swear you saw his hand twitch, but you just continued screaming, eventually becoming sobbing.
‘Why would you make me love you and be my person, if you are a psycho killer? Why didn't you kill me, what about me makes you even care?? I can’t even believe all of this, it's like a nightmare I'm waiting to wake up from! Then you get yourself into a coma, so I have to face you again? You are the love of my life and I don't even know you anymore! You better wake up so I can really rip you a new one!!’
You eventually sit down, exhausted and drained, still crying, you grab his hand, the one you saw twitch, hoping it might happen again and that you didn’t imagine it, but nothing happened. You must have fallen asleep holding his hand, because that's how you were when the nurse gently shook you awake the next morning.
You were disgusted with yourself for touching him, but also kind of comforted by his touch. You go to leave the hospital, bumping into David Rossi himself, who seems surprised to see you.
‘Call me if you need to, I’m going back to Boston,’ you say with more bite than you mean to.
‘Okay, thank you for your help, we’ll let you know if anything changes.’
You nodded curtly and rushed out the door, and ordered a ride share to the airport. You don't let yourself cry again until you're back home.