Chapter Text
The scent of oven fresh cookies and cheap teen magazines filled the air of Usagi Tsukino’s bedroom, a chaotic paradise of pink furniture, discarded manga, and half finished homework assignments. It was a lazy afternoon, the kind that felt specifically designed for lazing about and doing absolutely nothing of consequence. Usagi, the room's owner and the universe's most unlikely champion of justice, was sprawled on her stomach across the fluffy pink carpet. Her feet kicked idly in the air, a testament to her profound state of relaxation. Beside her, in a nearly identical state of blissful indolence, was Minako Aino, her blonde hair a slightly more golden echo of Usagi's own iconic odango style.
Between them, propped up against a pile of pillows, was Minako’s tablet. On its brightly lit screen, a video replay of a recent football match was in full glorious high definition. Specifically, it was a highlight reel of the Argentinian national team. More specifically, it was a highlight reel focusing on two players in particular.
Usagi: "(Sighing dreamily) Oh, look at him, Mina-chan. The way he moves. It’s like a beautiful, powerful dance."
Minako: "(Pressing her hands to her cheeks) I know! And Dibu. So tall! So strong! Did you see that save? He flew like a majestic eagle. An eagle protecting his precious nest full of soccer balls."
Usagi let out another long, heartfelt sigh, her chin resting in her hands. On the screen, Lionel Messi, with an almost supernatural grace, weaved through a sea of opposing players, the ball seemingly glued to his foot. He was a whirlwind of precision and artistry, a genius at work. The video then cut to the team's goalkeeper, Emiliano Martínez, affectionately known as Dibu. A giant of a man, he launched himself through the air, his gloved hands connecting with the ball just as it was about to breach the goal line. It was a spectacular, acrobatic save that had won the match.
Usagi: "(Gazing at Messi’s face in a freeze frame) He’s so cool and mysterious. I bet he’s really sweet and sensitive underneath that serious game face. He probably writes poetry about stars and kittens."
Minako: "(Pointing a finger at the screen where Dibu was roaring in triumph) And Dibu is so passionate! He’s not afraid to show his feelings! He’s like a knight, a big, strong, handsome knight who would fight dragons for you. Or at least, you know, fight really hard to win a soccer game for you. Which is basically the same thing."
Across the room, attempting to enjoy the peaceful afternoon in their own ways, were the other Sailor Scouts. Ami Mizuno, ever the diligent student, was trying to read a thick advanced physics textbook, though the constant sighing from the floor was making it difficult to concentrate on quantum mechanics. Rei Hino, sitting in a lotus position with her eyes closed, was attempting to meditate, a small frown line appearing between her perfectly sculpted eyebrows. Makoto Kino, the tallest and most physically capable of the group, was leafing through a cookbook, occasionally glancing over at the lovesick duo with an amused smile.
Rei: "(Without opening her eyes) Do you two have to be so loud? Your lovesickness is polluting the spiritual energy in this room. I can practically feel the air getting thicker with ridiculous fantasy."
Usagi: "(Rolling onto her back to look at Rei) It’s not a ridiculous fantasy, Rei chan! It’s true love! We’ve found our soulmates. They just happen to live on the other side of the planet and don't know we exist yet. It’s a classic long distance romance."
Minako: "(Nodding enthusiastically) Exactly! The best love stories are the ones with obstacles to overcome. Like geography. And the fact that we've never met them. Minor details."
Makoto: "(Chuckling) You have to admit, Rei-chan, they are impressive athletes. It takes a lot of strength and discipline to play at that level. I wonder what their training regimen is like. I bet they eat a lot of protein."
Ami: "(Pushing her glasses up her nose) Statistically, the physical endurance required is quite remarkable. The cardiovascular output alone is fascinating. I’ve read several papers on the biomechanics of professional football players. The precise angle of a kick can increase the ball's velocity by over fifteen percent."
Usagi and Minako just stared at her blankly, the science of it all flying completely over their heads. For them, it wasn’t about statistics or biomechanics. It was about the heroic figures on the screen, the modern day princes of the football pitch. On the windowsill, two cats were observing the scene with a shared sense of weary resignation. Luna, the sleek black cat with a crescent moon on her forehead, sighed a very humanlike sigh. Beside her, Artemis, the white cat and Minako's own guardian, mirrored the action perfectly.
Luna: "(In a low, exasperated tone only the girls could understand) Here we go again. First it was that pop idol, then the guy from the video game arcade, now it’s an entire soccer team."
Artemis: "(Shaking his head) Minako falls in love faster than Usagi can find a snack. It’s a frightening talent. At least this time her crush is a world class athlete and not a villain in disguise. I hope."
Luna: "(Twitching an ear) With our luck, you should never assume."
Suddenly, the video on the tablet was interrupted. The screen flickered, displaying a swirl of psychedelic colors before resolving into a new, unwelcome image. It was a television studio, garishly decorated in clashing shades of purple and yellow. In the center of the screen, preening for the camera, was a woman with vibrant orange hair. She wore a skimpy, star-themed outfit and a self satisfied smirk. It was Mimete, one of the Witches 5, the latest group of villains to threaten the peace of the world.
Mimete: "(Striking a pose) Hello, hello, all you darling fans out there! It’s your favorite rising star, Mimete, coming to you live with a very special announcement!"
The girls all sat up, their lazy afternoon instantly shattered. Usagi scrambled closer to the tablet, her romantic daydreams evaporating like mist.
Usagi: "(Gasping) It’s her! One of those weirdos from the Death Busters!"
Rei: "(Eyes snapping open, her meditative calm gone) What does she want now? Can’t they take a day off?"
Mimete: "(Waggling a finger at the camera) I know you’ve all been waiting on the edge of your seats for my next big project, and I promise you, it’s my most ambitious one yet! I’m tired of dealing with small time celebrities and local idols. I’m going international, baby!"
She giggled, a sound like nails on a chalkboard, and a graphic appeared behind her. It was a map of the world with a big, sparkling star over Argentina. Below it, pictures of the Argentinian football team flashed across the screen, lingering on close ups of Messi and Dibu Martínez.
Mimete: "(Clasping her hands together in glee) That’s right! My next targets are the superstars of the soccer world! The Argentinian national team! Their hearts must be absolutely bursting with pure, passionate energy. The kind of energy that makes you a global phenomenon! And I, Mimete, am going to collect every single one of those Pure Heart Crystals to offer to our magnificent Master Pharaoh 90!"
Usagi and Minako’s faces went from shock to horror.
Minako: "(Pointing a trembling finger at the screen) She wouldn't dare!"
Usagi: "(Her eyes wide with panic) Not them! Not my sweet, poetic Messi! His heart is too pure! It’s probably shaped like a perfect little soccer ball made of crystalline hope!"
Mimete: "(Blowing a kiss to the camera) So get ready, Argentina! The Witches 5 are coming to town, and we’re going to be the ones lifting the real trophy: your beautiful, shiny hearts! It’s going to be a spectacular show! Ta ta for now!"
The screen flickered again and returned to the highlight reel of Dibu Martínez making another incredible save. But the mood in the room had changed completely. The lazy, love filled atmosphere had been replaced by a tense silence. Ami was the first to speak, her voice calm and analytical as always.
Ami: "(Taking off her glasses and cleaning them on her shirt) Well, this is a clear and direct threat. Their objective is the Argentinian soccer team. Their goal is the acquisition of Pure Heart Crystals. The location is confirmed."
Makoto: "(Cracking her knuckles, a determined look on her face) Then there’s no question about it. We can’t let them get away with this. Those players are national heroes. We have to protect them."
Rei: "(Standing up, her expression grim) It’s a long way to go, but they’ve made it personal. No one messes with… well, no one should be messed with like that."
She glanced at Usagi and Minako, who were still staring at the tablet in stunned silence. Their faces were pale, their romantic fantasies cruelly hijacked by a B list supervillain.
Luna: "(Jumping down from the windowsill) The girls are right. We have to go to Argentina. This is a direct challenge from the Death Busters."
Artemis: "(Joining Luna on the floor) We can’t allow them to gather that many Pure Heart Crystals at once. The power they could generate would be catastrophic. Besides," he added, looking at Minako’s distraught face, "it’s a matter of principle."
Finally, Usagi and Minako looked at each other. The same thought, the same fiery resolve, ignited in their eyes simultaneously. This was no longer just about saving the world from evil. This was a rescue mission of the heart.
Usagi: "(Jumping to her feet, her fist clenched) She called my Messi a small time celebrity! And she wants to steal his heart! Unforgivable!"
Minako: "(Leaping up beside her, striking a dramatic pose) This is an outrage! An attack on love and sportsmanship! We will not stand for it! We will protect Dibu’s passionate heart from that tacky, orange haired menace!"
The five Sailor Scouts stood together in the center of the messy pink bedroom. Their purpose was clear. Their destination was set. The lazy afternoon was over.
Usagi: "(Pointing heroically towards the window) To Argentina! For love, for justice, and for the pure hearts of dreamy soccer players!"
Luna just sighed again, a deep, weary sound. This was going to be a very, very long trip.