Chapter Text
The last thing that Vex'ahlia wanted on a Tuesday morning was a call from her father. Her 9am lecture hadn't been stimulating at all, and she was amazed she'd even been awake enough to take notes as Professor Falbek had talked. The moment the lecture had finished, she sped out of the lecture hall and headed directly to the exit of the building.
The crisp autumnal air was bracing as she began her walk across the campus to the student union building. Internally cursing herself for forgetting her gloves, she shoved her hands in her coat pockets for the ten minutes or so it took her to make her way to the coffee shop that sat in the student union block. It was blissfully warm inside and Vex sighed in relief as her hands began to slowly but surely feel less like icicles. Taking off her scarf and draping it over the arm that held her bag, she walked up to the counter and ordered a latte. In this colder weather, she generally preferred hot chocolate, but early morning lectures required a caffeine boost. Besides, no hot chocolate could beat the ones that her friend Keyleth made, piled high with whipped cream and the odd vegan marshmallows that the girl favoured.
Vex collected her coffee, frowning briefly at the fact that the barista had written 'Vix' on the cup, and settled down into one of the corner booths. Vex took off her coat and leaned against the plush green cushions, content to spend the rest of the time before her next seminar reviewing her notes from the lecture to check that they were actually legible.
She had barely taken one sip of her drink when her phone buzzed in her pocket. Vex pulled it out and saw the caller ID: 'Father'. She frowned as she answered, bringing the phone to her ear.
"Hello?"
"Vex'ahlia," her father had his usual clipped tone addressing her, the same he used when speaking to both her and her twin, as if merely talking to them was an unpleasant chore. "I have been trying to contact you this morning for several hours."
"I was in my lecture, Father." She responded. "Is something amiss?"
"Devana is organising our calendars today and I need to know if you and your brother will be gracing us with your presence at Thanksgiving or Christmas." Syldor said, straight to the point as ever.
"I have a practical examination the week after Thanksgiving, so I will be staying here. We're definitely both coming home for Christmas."
"Good to know. Velora has been asking after you again."
Vex couldn't help but smile. Her half-sister was six years old and to their father's eternal annoyance, adored the twins.
"Make sure Velora sends me her Christmas list, so we can plan accordingly."
"Hm. I can arrange that. Will we need to accommodate guests for you both?"
"Vax will be bringing Keyleth."
"And you?"
"What about me?" She frowned.
"You have been at that university for two years, Vex'ahlia. How have you neglected to find a suitable man in that time?"
"I've been busy with my degree." Vex said through gritted teeth.
"A woman your age should not be single. If you wish for your tuition to be paid in January, you will bring a partner home at Christmas."
"You cannot be serious!"
"I only agreed to pay for your useless degree on the provision that you would make connections whilst attending. Vax'ildan has done so. YOU are failing."
"It is not a useless degree!"
"It is. If you are to aid in running Syngorn one day, you need to give up on that ridiculous plan of yours, and this zoology obsession."
"Animal conservation is important. How many times have we had this conversation?"
"I have clearly indulged your whims too long. Do as I say or you will not be returning in the new year."
Vex clenched her fists, then loosened the one on the coffee cup lest it explode. "Did you even consider that I would not wish to bring someone home?"
"You are supposed to when you are in a relationship, are you not?" Syldor countered.
"Maybe I don't want to bring home my boyfriend!" Vex felt the lie leave her lips before she could stop herself, instantly recoiling from the way her voice had raised and waved an apologetic hand to the patrons of the coffee shop that had turned towards her.
"So there IS a boyfriend."
Vex'ahlia cursed every idiotic thing she'd ever done on a frequent basis, but this was by far her stupidest action in a long time.
"I'll expect him at Christmas." Syldor stated. "I will speak with you in the coming weeks."
"Wait, I-"
The phone call cut out abruptly and Vex resisted the urge to fling her phone across the coffee shop in fury.
Oh gods.
Her brain went mildly into panic mode. She loved her degree and Vex was now into the third year of it. The family business, Syngorn Inc., owned land all across the country. Whilst their father did not want her or Vax to inherit the business, they were expected to work for him when they graduated. Her twin, Vax'ildan, had done a history degree, claiming that it had transferable skills that would allow him to fit in multiple areas of the business. Vex, on the other hand, was determined to pursue her passion of zoology. She had told their father that her goal was to manage some of the land that they owned, and knowing the animals that inhabited it would allow them to make informed decisions about said land. Syldor had agreed to it because she was doing a joint on this degree with geography and land management, though he had long dismissed zoology as pointless. The reality was that Vex did not want to have any part of Syngorn, nor did Vax. He was unsure what he wanted to do as a career; Vex, however, wanted to manage national parks one day. She had a particular love of grizzly bears and wanted to work in the parks that had them in the north.
Now all of her plans were in jeopardy. Why on earth did she say that she had a boyfriend? She put it down to panic at the thought of her father refusing to pay for her degree. It was not as if she could afford it herself. She pulled out her phone and got up the group chat labelled 'VM' - what VM had stood for had long since been forgotten by all of them but the name hadn't been changed.
Vex: Anyone on campus right now? Need advice.
A few minutes passed and she sipped her coffee, drumming her fingers anxiously into the side of the cup.
Percy: I'm around. Where are you?
Her friend Percy's (short for Percival) name popped up and she sighed in relief. Percy was probably the best person to have responded. He was incredibly smart - he'd know what to do.
Vex: Usual coffee place.
Percy: Be there in five minutes.
Vex had nearly finished her latte when Percival walked into the coffee shop. His shockingly white hair made him easily spottable and she waved him over. His face was flushed from the cold as he approached, his glasses fogging up from the temperature difference of the coffee shop.
"Morning," he greeted with an easy smile as he squeezed into the booth next to her, removing his grey and lavender scarf as he did.
"Hi," Vex responded. "Are you not getting a drink, darling?"
"No, thank you, I've not long had one." Percy took off his blue coat and placed both it and his scarf next to him. "So, what did you need advice on?"
"Ugh," Vex groaned. "I fucked up, Percy."
"Annoyed a lecturer fucked up or you need help burying a body fucked up?" He arched an eyebrow.
"I told my father I had a boyfriend and he wants me to bring this non-existent man over at Christmas."
Percy blinked for a moment in surprise, then his mouth slowly curled into a smile. Vex noticed the expression and her eyebrows furrowed.
"Percy! It's not funny!"
He avoided her gaze and tried not to snigger to himself. "It's a bit funny."
"Percy, what am I supposed to do?" Vex nudged him to stop him laughing.
"Well, tell him you don't have one."
"It's not that simple! He's so obsessed with Vax and I having partners that could link with Syngorn's business interests! It's all Vax's fault! He fell for Keyleth before knowing about her family and now Father is expecting me to do the same. He said if I don't have a suitable boyfriend at Christmas, he's pulling my tuition."
Vex tapped the edge of her coffee cup again nervously. Percy considered her words for a few moments before speaking again.
"Will he follow through on that threat, do you think?"
Vex nodded. "I'm so close to finishing my degree, I can't risk it."
"Hmm..." he pondered.
"I don't have time to date, for goodness' sake. Besides, who would be mad enough to meet my family and stay with them over Christmas after a month of dating even if I DID magically get a boyfriend by the end of the day today?" She put her head on the table with a dramatic sigh.
"Percyyyyyy, save me." Vex whined, and he let out a light laugh.
"You could always come to my house for Christmas. I'm sure Cassandra would be happy to have you."
"That's very sweet of you, Percy," she tilted her head so her cheek was resting on her hands. "But I have a sneaking suspicion I'll need to be there this year. I think Vax is going to propose."
Percy's eyebrows went up. "You think?"
She lifted her head back up properly. "He's already said that he's bringing her home for Christmas, and I saw he had an open tab on his phone last week with nature themed engagement rings."
Percy beamed. "Good for them. It's about time."
"Hey, guys!" A cheery voice called and the two looked over to see their friend Pike coming over, her own coffee in hand. "Saw you were here on the chat. How's it going?"
"Awful." Vex replied. "I've got to find a fake boyfriend to bring home at Christmas."
The blonde woman sat across from them, a surprised look on her face. "Why?"
Vex repeated what she had told Percy and Pike couldn't help but snicker slightly.
"Pike!" She scowled.
"It's a little hilarious, Vex, come on."
"My degree is on the line, Pike!"
"You could hire someone?" The blue eyed shorter woman suggested.
"I thought of that, but...Keyleth."
"Oh, shit." Pike winced, as did Percy.
Keyleth was the worst liar ever, and there was no way she'd be able to act like Vex had a real boyfriend convincingly in front of their friends, let alone Vex and Vax's father, who made the poor girl nervous anyway.
"Hmm..." Pike mused. "What if it was someone that Keyleth already knew?"
"That could help a little but it still leaves a vast multitude of problems."
Pike sat thinking again for a few moments. Vex finished off her coffee and put it down on the table.
"Here," Percy offered out his hand and she gave him the empty cup. He was closer to the edge of the booth so he took the cup and got up to take it to the bin.
"You're a dear, thank you." Vex smiled, and Pike looked at Percy, then at Vex, and a flash of mischief and glee went through her eyes.
"What if you took Percy?" She blurted.
The man in question nearly dropped the coffee cup early.
"I beg your pardon?" He put the cup in the bin and stood next to the table, his face going slightly pink.
"Think about it!" Pike grinned eagerly. "Your father wanted you to be dating someone with connections, which he has as the heir to Whitestone: he's familiar with Keyleth so she won't panic as much around a stranger, and you two are friends anyway! It's perfect!"
Vex looked up at Percy, whose face more resembled a tomato than a human man at the current moment.
"I don't know," Vex paused. "It's an awful lot to ask."
"If Percy needed help like you did, you'd help, right?" Pike said.
"Of course, but..."
"I'll do it." Percy said, the blush behind his glasses still incredibly evident.
"Percival, I couldn't possibly ask you to-"
"Pike is right." The white haired man sat back down next to Vex'ahlia. "It makes sense, and I won't have you lose your degree over something I can easily help with."
Vex's eyes softened. "I don't know how I could possibly repay you if you did this."
"It's a favour, and you've done me plenty of favours over the years." Percy assured her. "I can think of worse things to do this Christmas than deceiving your arsehole of a father."
"Okay," Vex smiled. "Okay...um..."
Her brow furrowed. "Let's think logistics. I'll probably have to FaceTime my father for an hour or so on Thanksgiving to talk to him, Devana and Velora. I could introduce you then?"
"That works." Percy nodded.
"Oh gods, this is a nightmare." Vex groaned, putting her head in her hands again. "Not you, Percy, dear." She clarified. "I'm sure you'll be an excellent fake boyfriend."
"Thank you?" He replied, a small amount of questioning in the words, as if he was unsure if it was a compliment.
"You might need to practice a little if you want it to look real." Pike suggested. "What about the party on Friday? See if you can convincingly act like a couple there, and if it's too difficult, we can come up with another plan."
"I guess," Percy looked to Vex. "We could give it a go?"
"Are you sure?" Vex replied.
"Not entirely, but it could be a way to prank Scanlan and Grog before we tell them the truth."
Vex smirked a little. "Now you're speaking my language. Besides, convincing Grog is pretty much the lowest level of deception. If we couldn't convince him, it would be a surefire sign that my father would smell a rat."
"I won't say anything until then either." Pike had such a wide smile that Vex was starting to be concerned by how much the blonde woman was excited by the idea of such a ruse.
"Remind me where this party is?" Percy asked.
"Zahra's. It's some cultural holiday celebrating an anniversary of some man being burned alive, I think? Either way, they have a bonfire and fireworks, and we've all been invited. Did you not see the text in the group chat?"
"I confess I mute that one most of the time."
To Percy's credit, Vex could see why. The group chat that a lot of their friends used for communicating about parties was rather chaotic, and it wasn't unusual for Vex to come out of a class to see 200+ missed messages.
"Friday at 8pm." Vex told him and he pulled out his diary from his bag. Very few people kept a physical diary these days, what with calendars on phones being so convenient, but Percy was one of them. He jotted it down, his glasses sliding adorably down his nose as he wrote.
Percival, all things considered, was very handsome, Vex thought to herself. He was everything a man should be: intelligent, charming and an absolute gentleman. Plus his wit and skill shooting gave him a rather dashing air, when he wasn't being a bit dorky.
"Honestly," Vex said aloud. "I still think it's a miracle you don't have a girlfriend, Percy. Otherwise this would have been much more difficult."
Percy paused, pushing his glasses back up his nose. "What do you mean 'a miracle'?"
"Well, you're a catch, darling!" Vex replied with an earnest smile. "You're kind, you're clever, you're ridiculously rich. It's amazing you haven't been snapped up already."
"Totally!" Pike agreed. "Come to think of it, I've never even known you to ask anyone out either."
"Oh, you know me," Percy said, his tone smooth but his body language a tad awkward. "I'm very busy."
"Your fault for taking engineering AND business, Percival." Vex laughed at his reaction, as his expression morphed into that of a pouty teenager more than his usual poised manner.
"You've really never had someone catch your eye?" Pike said, and took a sip of her coffee. "No secret late night trysts?"
"No, and no." Percy responded, gathering his coat and scarf. "Now, I've got a lecture in ten minutes, so you can speculate without me."
"Boooo!" Vex and Pike jeered and he scowled playfully at them as he got up.
"I'll see you Friday." He waved them goodbye and Pike wolf-whistled at him as he left.
"Don't worry, Percy! We'll find you someone that appreciates your ass one day!" She called after him, and Pike got a middle finger in response, causing a few of the other students in the coffee shop to snicker to themselves.
"He does have a good ass." Vex remarked as she leaned back against the cushions in the booth.
"Right?" Pike smirked, and the two descended into laughter upon seeing a rather confused barista look at them with an odd expression as they walked past the two women. "I mean if I didn't already have Scanlan, I would totally hit that."
"I thought you broke up?"
"Nah, we did for a bit, but we're back on again."
"Pike, you can't be serious."
"It's fine! We're fine!" The blonde insisted.
"I love both of you dearly, but you're idiots."
"Don't be mean, Vex, this is still only my second coffee of the day."
"You have a problem."
"We all have a caffeine problem, we're students."
"Yes, but you're a medical student. You should quite literally know better."
Pike stuck out her tongue. Vex laughed and took a quick picture of her holding her coffee and pulling the face at the camera.
Vex: [image sent] Pike thinks she doesn't have a caffeine problem.
Vax: Objectively untrue.
Percy: Delusion, thy name is Pike.
Scanlan: 😍
Vax: Scanlan, keep it in your pants
Scanlan: You wish you could get this, baby 😘
Keyleth: He really doesn't
Scanlan: 😭
Scanlan: Rude
Scanlan: Also who uses the word THY??? Percy, your age is showing, old man
Percy: 🖕🏻
Percy: Literally younger than you