There's a Little Witch in All of Us

by MarnieMichaelsApologist

Summary:

On the surface, Rio Vidal has it all. She's an accomplished expert on all things occult and supernatural. Her mid-life crisis came early at 30, and she gave up a semi-rewarding career as a professor to open an oddities shop with the town scammer/psychic Lilia Calderu. However, Rio is unlucky in the love department. But when a mysterious stranger comes to town, and Lilia meddles, Rio's luck begins to change.

OR: The (kind of) Practical Magic AU, hopefully someone has asked for.

Notes:

This is purely a work of self-indulgence that I hope at least one of you can enjoy! Practical Magic is my shit.

Chapter 1: One Green Eye One Blue

To the untrained eye, there was nothing particularly special about the small, coastal town of Coupeville. Of course, the seafood slapped, but other than that, your closest chain grocery store was an hour's drive, a decent internet connection was few and far between, and if you didn’t want to stop and pet Todd the wharf dog on the head every morning on your way to work, then this might not be the town for you.

But to Rio Vidal, this place was heaven on Earth. You see, Coupeville had the ability to attract all the right characters at the right time, timing each meet-cute with alarming accuracy. It was almost otherworldly—magical, some might even say.

For instance, take Rio Vidal and Lilia Calderu. Rio had been a Coupevilleian for almost five years now, but had originally never intended to stay more than two weeks.

Lilia was a lifer. Her family and her family before her had lived here for generations. And they always had a reputation for being kooky and odd.

Rio herself was also kooky and odd. From a young age, her interest in magic, the occult, and the supernatural dominated her personality. It sent her down a lonely path, but Rio never seemed to mind. It only meant the genuine connections she made in life were of the utmost importance. And the same could be said for Lilia.

To almost nobody’s surprise, in Rio’s inner circle at least, she pursued a graduate degree in magic and occult sciences, landed a teaching gig, and gained quite a bit of prominence being one of the only professors to offer a course on the occult in North America.

Of course, this had its pros and cons. When Rio first started teaching, the course was niche and only attracted those who had a deep love, interest, and respect for the occult and supernatural. She could really nerd out with her students, and it gave her some great connections to start her own collection of oddities.

Today, people travel far and wide to see Rio’s collection of Salem witch artifacts, cursed objects, and possessed dolls. It was nationally recognized. Suck it, Zak Bagans. But more on that later.

As Rio’s popularity grew, so did enrollment in her course. Attendance switched from students who had a genuine interest to rich kids whose parents paid their tuition, looking for an easy A, or who wanted some quick and dirty facts about serial killers. Rio detested the idolization of serial killers.

It all put a bad taste in her mouth. So, Rio left. Despite the many protests from the university and colleagues, she landed at the doorstep of Madame Calderu’s Psychic Readings in Coupeville, Washington.

Lilia knew she had special abilities from a very young age. She was extremely empathic and able to read people’s auras almost instantly. She began dabbling in the art of tarot, and eventually bought her own shop on Main Street in the 80s when prices were still dirt cheap.

Her main money-making months were during tourist season in the summer. During the rest of the year, it turned into a nap town with the occasional straggling tourist or retired couple visiting. In her off time, she ran Lilia’s Leggings out of the back of the shop. Whatever paid the bills. She was a career hustler.  

Now, Rio's visiting Coupeville had been a happy accident. After leaving the university, Rio had more money than any modest 30-year-old who had never cared about money or had it, knew what to do with. She decided to take a sabbatical, if you could call it that for a now unemployed professor, to travel around the states and look for new pieces to add to her collection.

__

Rio remembers meeting Lilia like it was yesterday.

Rio stumbled upon the small wooden shop, in need of a little TLC, that was comfortably nestled between a local inn and a lotions and potions store. A small bell chimed as she stepped inside and was instantly greeted by a larger-than-life personality swathed in a billowy dress and dangly, clanky jewelry.

“Good morning, young traveler!” Lilia was gesturing wildly with her hands. “How can Madame Calderu assist you today?”

Rio couldn’t help but smirk a little.

“Look, ma’am, I love the schtick, and I really respect your craft, but I’m just looking for a chat.” Rio glanced at two open chairs in the front of the shop.

Lilia dropped the act immediately. Carefully taking in the moody-looking young woman dressed in all black in front of her.

“Well, it will still cost you.” Lilia crossed the room and sat in one of the open chairs. “My time is not cheap.”

“Understood.” Rio pulled a $50 bill from her pocket and placed it on the table in front of Lilia.

Lilia’s smile returned. “Now you’re speaking my language.” She picked up the bill, slipped it into her bra for safekeeping, and motioned for Rio to take a seat.

The two talked about any and everything for hours. Lilia told Rio how her family was exiled to a far part of the town in the 1600s for their “abilities.” Rio told Lilia how she grew up with little to no friends because of her odd interests. She told her about her love of all things supernatural and her deep need to get back to those roots and her research.

Lilia said Rio’s aura was somewhere between blue and indigo, meaning she was curious, spiritually connected, gentle, but also intuitive and a freethinker. Her cards told her that she was about to encounter a great deal of luck and embark on a new journey, but in the love department, she was lacking and a bit shut off. None of this surprised Rio. Lilia had quirked an eyebrow at this, but didn’t pry.

As the late summer sky turned from orange to blue and eventually black, Lilia grabbed the good whiskey from her apartment on the second floor of the shop. This is where the real negotiations started happening.

“Look, Lilia, I like you a lot,” a drunk Rio slurred. “And I see a potential very vible—viatal—I see a very good business opportunity here, is what m’sayin’.”

“Mmm, what’s that?” Lilia poured them another shot.

“You and me. You keep doing your readings. I make repairs around the shop, move some of my collection in to ramp up business, and you let me crash on your couch until I find a place. Whatd’ya say, partner?” Rio extended her hand.

Lilia thoughtfully considered the proposal. “I like it, partner.” Lilia smiled and shook her hand.

In the harsh light of morning, Rio unfolded herself from the hard wooden chair she passed out in and listened to the sounds of Lilia’s steps coming down the stairs. Every bone in her body screamed—she was definitely 30.

“Get to work, partner.” Lilia winked and handed her a cup of coffee.

__

And that pretty much catches us up to today. Two years into their agreement, Lilia sold the shop to Rio, who moved in her entire collection. Lilia still does her readings and lives upstairs rent-free. This allowed her to make money under the table because taxes are a scam.

They rebranded the shop, which was now called “Witchy Women.” The town board had a field day with that. But it was the most successful shop in town, so they couldn’t protest too much. During peak tourist season, they were appointment-only due to popularity.

Rio didn’t care too much for the commercialization of it all, but it did let her focus solely on her research and communicate with other collectors. And with the extra money, she was able to buy her dream home, conveniently located just a five-minute walk from the shop.

Rio had been obsessed with the Owens’ Estate from the minute she moved into town. Legend states it belonged to the Owens sisters, who were witches. And they came from a long line of witches who were persecuted, but eventually the Owens became a much-loved family around town. Some of the Halloween traditions the town celebrated stemmed directly from them.

The estate itself was massive. It was a sprawling 19^th-century Victorian home. The design also inspired by East Coast lighthouses. The home was surrounded by a gorgeous garden, a picturesque white picket fence, and a trellis in the backyard that bloomed so thick with wildflowers that you could sit under it during a rainstorm and not feel a drop.

 It had sat vacant for many years, causing some of it to fall into disrepair.

Everyone had warned Rio against buying it, calling the property a money pit, and they weren’t wrong, but Rio was in love. Every minute she didn’t spend at the shop or doing research was spent making repairs on her house. She was determined to return it to its cozy, lived-in, whimsigoth glory. And she was making pretty good progress.

__

It was the first week of September, and Rio and Lilia were wrapping up another successful tourist season. They had been slammed and were both looking forward to a bit of a break. Rio was doing shop inventory when she heard the front door slam.

“Rio Vidal!” Lilia shouted.

Uh, oh.

“I’m in the back,” Rio responded nervously.

Rio heard loud stomps getting closer and closer. “Would it kill you to keep it in your pants for just one tourist season?” Lilia thrust a phone into her face.

The top Yelp review read: “1-star. The collection was cool, but the owner of the shop’s heart is as black as the edgy little outfits she wears.”

Ouch.

“Hmm, that sounds like Kelly.” Rio blushed.

“You’re killing our online ratings, Rio,” Lilia groaned.

And Lilia wasn’t joking. This wasn’t the first, second, or third bad rating they’d received from one of Rio’s trysts. She had needs, and those needs did not involve settling down or even a second date.

“Rio, doll, have you ever thought about settling down?” Lilia eyed her cautiously. “I believe in a curse as much as the next person, but maybe it skipped you? You’re 35. Not exactly a spring chicken.”

Rio gave an exasperated sigh. This was always a touchy subject. And Lilia was never not trying to set her up with any nice bachelorette who rolled into town.

But let’s get back to the curse.

Rio firmly believed that her family was cursed when it came to relationships. And she had a good reason. Every couple who had a happy, healthy marriage in her family had a partner who mysteriously died.

It had never skipped a generation. Rio lost her father to a car accident when she was 10, and her grandfather had passed away in a farming accident, and the list goes on and on. She was terrified the same fate would befall her, and rightly so.

Rio watched the agonizing pain her grandmother and mother had gone through after losing the love of their life, both turning into shells of people she once loved. And she had no desire to experience that. So, one night stands it was.

“You know I can’t, Lilia,” Rio almost whispered.

Lilia looked at her with love and understanding. “My darling girl, you can’t go through life too scared to live it.” She patted Rio’s arm and went back to work.

After what was an uneventful day, Lilia joined Rio at the front of the shop while she was cleaning and starting to lock up.

“So, just curious,” Lilia began. “Say you did have a perfect soulmate, what qualities would you want them to have?”

“Lilia, this again?” Rio sighed.

“What! I’m just curious.”

Rio really had nothing better to do, so she played Lilia’s game.

“Fine,” Rio started. “She would be marvelously kind.”

There were enough assholes in the world.

“She can ride a pony backwards.”

Rio always had a thing for western gals, sue her.

Rio could see Lilia taking notes.

“Hmm, she would have one green eye and one blue.”

That would be pretty.

“She can flip pancakes in the air.”

Everyone loves a good party trick.

“Her favorite shape is a star.”

A favored shape in the occult world.

“She can whistle my favorite song.”

A must-have for when the robots take over and all physical media is destroyed.

“Annnddd, she can hear my call from a mile away,” Rio concluded.

Rio detested phones, so if her girlfriend could hear her loud mouth, all the better.

Lilia snorted, writing down Rio’s last qualification.

“I believe everyone has their perfect someone out there, but your list makes me wonder if this person even exists, dear.” Lilia tucked the list in her pocket.

“That’s the point.” Rio tucked the broom in the supply closet and grabbed her keys. “If she doesn’t exist, I’ll never die of a broken heart.”

“Ri—” Lilia started.

“I’m heading home a little early,” Rio said sadly. “I’ll see you in the morning, Lilia.”

__

Lilia heard the deadbolt lock as Rio turned the key and began her short trek home. Her heart ached for her little Rio. She had become like a daughter to her in these past five years.

Lilia knew it wasn’t her place, but she also knew Rio had so much love to give and deserved that same love back. Maybe it was her elder Sicilian sensibilities popping out, but she was determined to find that special someone for Rio. And she had been around long enough to know this town had enough magic in it to make it happen.

When Lilia made her way up to her apartment, she grabbed a large wooden bowl and made her way into her plant room. She tore up Rio’s list and read every special quality aloud.

Must be marvelously kind. Lilia added a rose petal to the bowl.

Can ride a pony backwards. Lilia chuckled and added a marigold petal.

One green eye and one blue. In went an orchid petal.

Can flip pancakes in the air. A pansy petal.

Favorite shape is a star. One violet petal.

Can whistle my favorite song. A sunflower petal.

Can hear my call from a mile away. Finally, a zinnia petal.

Lilia opened her upstairs window, and just as she suspected, a storm was brewing, and a strange wind was picking up. She leaned the bowl with the flowers and paper strips out the window. The wind whipped, and suddenly the contents of the bowl began to twist like a miniature tornado and float towards the sky.

Lilia watched as it floated far above her head, eventually disappearing. She smiled to herself.

This town works in mysterious ways.

Across the way, Rio was sitting in her sunroom, enjoying a book and watching the storm roll in. A particularly loud clap of thunder jolted her out of her book. Storms were common around here, but this one was a doozy. She noticed the flame of her candle began to flicker, which was odd because her windows were closed. Something was trying to get her attention.

Rio placed her book on the table and stood to watch the storm. The winds were bowing the massive oak in her yard, and she sent up a silent prayer that it would stay standing. She guaranteed the shop was taking a beating and made a mental reminder to go in a little early tomorrow morning.

__

Just as she suspected, the shop did take a bit of a beating. The whole town really. Tree limbs littered the cobblestone streets, and the shorelines were a mess from the high tide.

“Rough night, eh, buddy?” Rio asked Todd, the wharf dog, patting his head.

She did not receive a response.

Rio grabbed a ladder so she could fix the shop’s sign, which was now dangling from one chain. After some wrestling around and many curse words mumbled under her breath, it was too damn early for this. Rio still couldn’t tell if the sign was lined up straight.

“Excuse me, miss!” Rio shouted to a random woman walking down the street. “Could you tell me if this sign is straight?”

“I’m a really bad judge of what is and what isn’t straight,” the stranger replied.

Rio chuckled. You and me both, lady.

 “It looks good to me.”

Rio gave her work a once-over and climbed back down the ladder, prepared to thank her stranger.

“Hey, thank—” Rio paused when she realized she was speaking to maybe the most gorgeous human being she had ever seen.

Her long, wavy brown hair was wild and unruly. Her pale skin dotted with light freckles. Her cut-off denim shorts showcased legs that seemed to go on for days. And her lips quirked at the corners because apparently, she was used to causing temporary muteness due to her good looks.

“I’m Agatha,” she chuckled at the still, mute stricken Rio.

“I’m uh, Professor Vidal—I mean Rio Vidal, or just Rio,” Rio stuttered out. Get it together, Vidal.

“Hello, just Rio.”

Rio could see a beaming Lilia peering out the window out of the corner of her eye, ducking down before she made it too obvious.

“You must be new here. I haven’t seen you around town before.”

“Yeah, I got caught in that crazy storm last night,” Agatha said. “My car broke down, and it’s going to take a few days to get the part in.”

Oh no, a gorgeous stranger stuck in Coupeville. Rio tried not to grin too big.

“Is this your shop?” Agatha asked.

“Yeah, we don’t open until 9, though.”

“Would you make an exception for me?” Agatha pouted and batted her lashes. “Maybe give me a private tour?”

I would do a lot of things to and for you, Rio thought to herself.

“I think I can make that happen.” Rio flirted right back, unlocking the shop and letting them both in.

Rio stood behind the counter and watched as Agatha looked around the shop.

“Just holler if you have any questions,” Rio said as she began prepping the shop for the day. “Oh, and make sure you tell Betty the Doll good morning.” Rio pointed to a doll sitting behind a glass case.

Agatha gave her a weird look.

“I’m serious,” Rio pressed. “Good morning, Betty.”

“Um, good morning, Betty.” Agatha continued to look at Rio like she had two heads. “Is that the catch, you’re hot but crazy?”

She thinks I’m hot. Rio’s dumb brain basked in the moment before snapping back to reality.

“Every artifact in this collection has a specific set of rules.” Rio began. “If you want to play it safe and avoid attachments, it’s best to follow the rules. And yes, I am hot, thank you.”

Agatha smirked and continued her walk around the shop, taking the time to carefully read the plaques and historical background of each item.

“I’m really glad you don’t have a serial killer collection,” Agatha murmured from across the shop. “It always felt kinda gross to me.”

“We’re on the same page there,” Rio replied as she counted the register. “I do have a pair of Aileen Wuornos’ teeth, though.”

“Well, she’s an exception. She should have killed more men, in my opinion.”

Rio nodded because exaaccttllyyyy.

“Well, Rio Vidal.” Agatha made her way back to the front of the store. “Your shop is very cool. I didn’t expect to meet someone like you in a small town like this.” She leaned over the desk.

“And by someone like me, do you mean, hot, gay, funny, charming, smart, clever?” Rio leaned right back towards her. “Be specific.”

“All of the above,” Agatha smirked.

“Gay people can live in small towns too, Agatha.” Rio feigned offense. “Bert and Ernie are my neighbors.”

“What, really?” Agatha looked confused.

“No, you goof.” Rio laughed. “This isn’t Sesame Street.”

“Rio!” Lilia shouted from the back. “Do we have a customer?”

“Yeah, and she’s being very homophobic.”

Agatha’s jaw dropped.

“Well, just charge her extra.” Lilia made her way to the front of the shop. “We’re in our off season, so we need all the cash we can get.”

Lilia reached out to shake Agatha’s hand. “Lovely to meet you, dear. I apologize for my front-of-the-house help, she’s sick in the head.”

The early morning sun began to shine through the shop windows, glinting off of Agatha’s face, and that’s when Lilia saw it; one green eye, one blue.

Lilia gripped Agatha’s hand tightly and drew her in closer.

“Okay, Lilia, if you’re done accosting our customer,” Rio said, separating them. “She probably needs to be on her way.” Rio gave Lilia a “what the fuck” look.

“We have an inn to our left and a homemade lotion and soap shop to our right,” Rio said to Agatha. “And I’m here all the time, so just stop in if you need anything.”

“I’m sure I’ll see you around,” Agatha smiled at Rio as the bell chimed and she exited the front door.

I’m sure you will, Lilia thought to herself.

Chapter 2: Put the Lime in the Coconut

Summary:

We meet our mysterious stranger.

Rio watched as Agatha crossed the street to set up shop at a covered picnic table, pulling a book out of her purse along with an adorable pair of oversized glasses.

“So, any reason you’ve decided to start groping our customers?” Rio asked Lilia before turning her attention back to the cash register.

Lilia scoffed. “I was not groping a customer. She had the most gorgeous eyes I’ve ever seen. Did you see her eyes?”

“Can’t say I did,” Rio replied, uninterested.

Lilia rounded the counter. “She’s really pretty! Why don’t you keep talking to her? I’ll take care of opening.”

“Lilia,” Rio said in a warning tone to Lilia, who was now trying to push her out the front door.

“What?” Lilia feigned innocence.

“You’re the one who jumped down my throat for trying to hump anything that moves. I’m being good and setting boundaries.”

“Of course you’d pick now to start setting boundaries,” Lilia mumbled under her breath.

“What was that?”

“Nothing, dear. Send my customers to the back, please.”

Rio nodded, writing off Lilia’s weirdness.

But Rio would be lying if she said the town’s newest guest wasn’t distracting her from her work. She had to count the drawer twice, because the way Agatha’s glasses slipped down her nose when she got too engrossed in her book was maybe the cutest thing Rio had ever seen.

She forgot to pick up Lilia and her lunch order because she was too busy watching how comfortable Todd was curled up by Agatha’s feet, her hand slipping down to scratch him behind the ears every few minutes.

But the most embarrassing moment was when she dropped a broom while sweeping the front of the shop. She had watched Agatha return from the farmer’s market with a ripe peach in hand. As soon as she bit into the plump fruit, juice dribbled down her chin.

The sweet, sticky sap dripped down her neck and chest, and Rio felt her insides groan. Never had she wanted to be a piece of fruit more in her life.

She fumbled the broom and felt it slip from her hands and slap loudly against the concrete.

Busted.

Rio’s face grew hot, and when she looked up, she was on the receiving end of a smug smile and flirty wave from Agatha.

Mortified, she slipped back into the shop and swept up some non-existent dust.

As dusk set in, Rio noticed her beautiful stranger had left—her heart dropping a little.  

“I’m surprised you don’t need a mop and bucket to clean up your drool,” Lilia joked, and was promptly met with a death stare from Rio.

Lilia snickered, but she also knew she had to play this carefully. While Rio was very much an almost middle-aged woman, she would still run the other direction if Lilia put anything good in front of her, just like any kid.

“I imagine she ended up at Sharon’s Inn if you’re curious,” Lilia said nonchalantly.

“Well, I wasn’t sooo,” Rio mumbled under her breath. “But now that you mention it, I haven’t seen Sharon in a minute, so I might as well go say hi.”

“Mhhmmmmm.”

__

Rio said goodnight to Betty, locked up the shop, and took two steps before she saw Agatha sitting on the front porch of the inn. Odd.

“Is Sharon taking good care of you?” Rio asked.

“Who’s Sharon?”

“The owner of the inn.”

“Oh, god no.” Agatha grimaced. “I can’t stay here. She said breakfast is served at 6 a.m., and we have mandatory family movie night every night. Disgusting.”

Rio chuckled. Mrs. Davis was definitely a bit overbearing, but she had a good heart and intentions.

“So, I’m guessing the car is taking a little longer than you thought?”

“Yeah, Alice down at the shop said it would be at least two more days until the part is in. And I don’t have great cell service.” Agatha held her phone up in the air. “But it says there’s a motel about two miles from here. I can walk that.”

“Absolutely not.” Rio shook her head. The crime rate around here was next to nothing, but she wasn’t taking chances. “Either I can drive you, or you can crash with me. I have a guest bedroom and can guarantee no bedbugs, 6 a.m. wake-up calls, or mandatory movie nights.”

Agatha looked Rio up and down, weighing her options.

“Don’t be fooled, I am a creep, just in all the right ways.” Rio offered her a devious smile.

Agatha stood. “Well, you should know a few things.” She dusted off the back of her shorts. “I don’t wear pants in the house, I hate doing dishes, and I sing loudly in the shower.”

“No dealbreakers in my book, but any pros in this situation for me?”

“The pants thing, probably, if you play your cards right, and I make a mean breakfast.”

Rio thoughtfully considered this information. She did love breakfast food. “Deal.”

“Oh, your neighbor is kind of a bitch, by the way.” Agatha pointed to Jen’s Kale Kare shop that sat just to the right of Rio.

Baffled, Rio turned to look at Jen’s shop. No one ever had a mean word to say about Jen. But sure enough, a large photo of Agatha, who looked like she was mid-lecture, was posted in the window with a large, red do not enter sign drawn across her face.

“Ha! That’s impressive.” Rio laughed. “What did you do to piss her off?”

“Moi? I simply pointed out that it was a scam to guarantee people who have never taken care of their skin a day in their lives that they will look 10 years younger because they buy some miracle cream from her. And she didn’t like that, I’m guessing.”

This sent Rio into hysterics, because well, she wasn’t wrong.

“You have a really cute laugh, Rio.”

Rio faltered for just a second. “Well, we should get going.”

__

Rio was surprised at how easy the two fell into conversation, for being strangers just this morning.

Agatha’s open book, free-spirited way of life was a foil to Rio’s walls.

Agatha was a writer, a journalist to be more specific, who had just become freelance.

“These huge, shit corporations buy these local media outlets that are reporting on issues that actually matter, and they want you to write fluff PR pieces for their soulless companies and keep people in the dark,” Agatha ranted. “And I refused to write articles sucking their dick, so I quit.”

Rio respected the hell out of that. “So what’s the plan now?”

Agatha jumped on a row of railroad ties that lined the gravel road to Rio’s house, holding onto her shoulder for balance.

“I haven’t got that far yet. I quit, leased my apartment, and headed out this way when I got stuck in the storm.”

Rio remembered being that age and being so disillusioned with the world that she set off on her own. She wouldn’t be where she is today if she didn’t have the gumption to just do it.

Agatha wobbled back and forth, balancing on the railroad ties. “Can I be honest about something?”

“Sure.”

“I don’t really get the whole supernatural thing. That stuff doesn’t scare me. Like, don’t get me wrong, it’s very interesting, but do you really believe in all that stuff?”

Rio paused, thinking carefully about her response. It’s not like this is the first time she’s been asked this question. “I mean, I don’t believe in all of it. But it’s fascinated me since I was a kid. And I’ve never been scared of it. There’s a whole big world out there that we know nothing about, and it’s fun to believe there’s a little magic in it. Some people believe in God, and some people believe a witch from the 1600s can curse an entire bloodline for generations. What are you gonna do?”

Agatha seemed satisfied with that answer. “Does it get lonely at all? I mean, you’re surrounded by cursed objects (she said cursed in finger quotes) and a lot of dark stuff. Doesn’t that put people off?”

She had a point. Not everyone understood Rio, and that was okay. “It can. I was never the most popular kid in school, that’s for sure. But I think the people who really know me know I have more to offer than just this. This is just a small part of me.”

Agatha held onto Rio’s shoulder as she hopped off the railroad ties, looking at her fondly.

“Welp, this is it.” Rio pointed to her house.

“Rio, this is your house?” Agatha’s jaw dropped.

Rio felt a sudden wave of self-consciousness. “I mean, it’s nowhere near done, I only get to work on it during my free time and—”

“This is stunning! Look at your garden!”

Rio relaxed. She wasn’t used to feeling under a microscope. She found herself evaluating why she cared so much what Agatha, a stranger, thought of her place.

“And who is this little guy?”

Agatha was pointing at a little black cat who was curled up on the top of Rio’s porch steps.

“Oh, that’s Thackery, but be careful.” Agatha was already rushing up the steps to pet him. “He’s a little sketchy around strangers.”

“Thackery as in Thackery Binx?” A fearless Agatha had already scooped him up in her lap, and much to Rio’s surprise, he was relaxed and purring.

“That’s the one.” Rio smiled.

“So very vicious.” Agatha mocked as she gave Thackery some chin scratches.

“Well, you must be an exception.”

__

As soon as Rio opened the front door to her house, Agatha was ping ponging around the house.

“Rio, your entire house looks like 90s Halloween. I’m obsessed!”

“That was kind of the goal,” Rio laughed.

“And oh my god, your kitchen! I could totally listen to Norah Jones and drink coffee in here.”

Rio watched with amusement as she hung up her keys and took off her shoes. She didn’t have company often, so it was nice to see someone else enjoying her home.

After Agatha had thoroughly explored the lower level of the house, she zoned in on Rio’s extensive CD, cassette, and vinyl collection she kept in her living room.

“Alanis, Sarah McLachlan, Tori Amos, Indigo Girls, Jewel. I’m guessing you knew who you were sexually at a young age,” Agatha gave a subtle dig.

Rio rolled her eyes, but Agatha wasn’t wrong. “You know it.” 90s female singer/songwriters is the best genre of music. And Rio would die on that hill. “If you’re done cracking jokes, the bathroom is upstairs.” Rio gestured for Agatha to follow. “I’ll get you some clothes.”

Agatha followed in step behind Rio, her eyes taking in Rio’s bedroom. The walls were a deep green with candles littering almost every surface. Her bookshelves were so full they looked like they would collapse if she added anything else. It was warm and inviting with a fresh, earthy smell drifting in from the open window.

“You know, I expected it to be, I don’t know, a little more spooky,” Agatha said, making a weird gesture with her hands.

Rio laughed. “Sorry to disappoint, but all the ‘spooky stuff’ is on the third floor, where you’ll be staying since you’re such a big, brave girl.”

Agatha rolled her eyes.

Rio dug through her dresser drawers and handed Agatha an oversized Black Sabbath shirt, underwear, and some sweatpants.

“I’ll be right out here if you get scared,” Rio smiled at her sweetly.

Rio sat on her bed while she listened to the shower turn on. She felt nervous, like she didn’t know what to do with her hands. And this was all innocent. She didn’t have any ulterior motives for bringing Agatha home.

The shower must have been going well because soon enough, Agatha was belting the lyrics to some pop song Rio would have to Google the lyrics too later.

Most of Rio’s hookups didn’t make it past the living room. And Agatha wasn’t even a hookup. Rio continued to let her brain spiral until she heard the bathroom door unlock and Agatha stepped outside.

She wasn’t joking about the no pants thing either. Rio smelled the scent of her shampoo clinging to Agatha. Her long, wet hair stuck to her neck and dampened the t-shirt Rio gave her. Rio’s eyes traveled up and down her bare legs for what must have been a little too long because Agatha definitely noticed.

“Are you enjoying the show?” Agatha teased and flexed her thighs.

Rio shot up off her bed. “I’ll, uh, show you your room.”

They climbed the steps to the third floor, and even though it was officially fall, the heat still hadn’t let up. Cooling a three-story house was a bitch.

When they got to the guest room, Rio opened the window and prepared to give Agatha the grand tour. What Rio hadn’t disclosed was that this was the clown room.

“You’ve gotta be joking.” Agatha looked at her new surroundings. “You do know that if you were a man, I would have called the police by now.”

“Honey, if I were a man, you should have taken a cab when we were at the wharf.” Rio beamed. “So you may have noticed, this is where I keep my clown collection.”

“Yeah, no shit.”

Rio crossed the room to a shelf that was directly across from the bed. “These guys are all harmless.”

“Wonderful,” Agatha grunted.

“Except, this one.” Rio pointed to a particularly menacing-looking clown. He was small, but looked like he could cause some damage. “This is Bubbles and his wife Sally. Keep an eye on him specifically. He likes to move around at night when he gets bored.”

“Any other wonderful tips and tricks to surviving your horror room?” Agatha sat down on the bed, keeping a close eye on the clown.

Rio thought for a moment. “Nope, that should be it.” She opened Agatha’s door and prepared to leave. “Night night!”

__

When Rio got back to her room, she stripped down to some tighty-whities and a white ribbed tank. She hoped Agatha was comfortable. If Bubbles didn’t get her, the heat might.

She grabbed a book off her nightstand and her reading glasses, hoping to take her mind off of her guest upstairs. The wind began picking up outside, and it smelled like rain. Another storm would be here soon.

The book distracted her until she heard small drops of rain slapping against the side of the house. She wondered if Agatha was asleep. If the mattress was too firm. Was it too hot up there? She should have offered her a fan.

Rio wondered if she was the type of person who could sleep with no blankets. Maybe she opted for just the sheet. Or maybe she had one leg under the blankets and one on top, the covers bunching up between her thighs.

And suddenly Rio no longer knew what the paragraph she just read said. She sighed and placed the book back on the nightstand—folding her hands behind her head and stared up at the ceiling.

A particularly loud clap of thunder snapped her out of her trance. This was followed by a wooden door slamming on the third floor, and hurried steps moving down the stairs and into Rio’s room.

A very distraught-looking Agatha appeared in Rio’s doorway, much to Rio’s amusement. “Did the big, brave girl get scared?” Rio mocked.

“Rio, I swear to god that clown moved.” Agatha sprinted across the room and climbed into Rio’s bed.

“By all means, make yourself comfortable,” Rio mumbled.

Rio felt Agatha’s eyes traveling down her body, zeroing in on her dark nipples that were rapidly hardening under an audience. Rio mentally high-fived herself for putting on a tank. She gave Agatha a smug smirk in return and saw the heat rising to her cheeks.

She took pity on Agatha and changed the subject. “You can stay here if you’d like.” Agatha was already burrowing under the covers and making herself at home.

Rio reached over to click off the lamp. Stillness settled over the room before Rio decided to break the tension. “You know, it’s actually Sally who is the troublemaker. Bubbles is pretty chill.”

A deep laugh bubbled up in Agatha’s chest before it slipped past her lips. “You are such an asshole!” She fumbled around in the dark, meaning to nudge Rio’s arm, but ended up pressed against her.

Feeling bold, Agatha grabbed Rio’s arm and wrapped it around her. Rio’s chest now flush against Agatha’s back.

Rio let out a small sigh that bordered on a whimper, causing Agatha to grind her ass against Rio.

“Agatha,” Rio said in a warning tone, grabbing Agatha’s hips to still them.

“Rio, I’m a big girl.” She placed her hands over Rios. “I’m not asking for your hand in marriage, just for you to feel me up a bit. Do you want to do that?”

And, fuck, did Rio ever want to do that. She let Agatha guide her hands under her shirt. Her hands sliding over the light sheen of sweat that had started to gather on her skin.

Rio grasped her hips before sliding firmly up her sides, roaming to the smooth plain of her stomach and roughly pulling Agatha back against her.

“Touch me, Rio,” Agatha groaned and reached backwards to wind her hand in Rio’s hair.

Rio licked a line of sweat off Agatha’s neck before peppering it with kisses. Her hands traveled further up Agatha’s stomach, teasing the smooth skin of her breasts with her thumbs. Rio felt Agatha’s hand tighten in her hair, drawing her closer into her neck.

Rio thrust firmly against Agatha, finally grasping her tits, feeling the warm flesh meld against her palms. “Shit, Agatha,” Rio whined while Agatha continued rolling her hips.

Rio was just about to slip her thigh between Agatha’s legs when a key sliding into the lock of the front door broke through their pants and moans. Both stilled.

“Should we be worried?” Agatha asked Rio, who was still grabbing her breasts.

“Give it a minute,” she murmured into Agatha’s neck.

They listened to what sounded like multiple footsteps heading into the kitchen, some bags being set on the counter, and yep, a blender.

“Fuck,” Rio groaned, reluctantly letting go of Agatha. “It’s midnight margaritas.”

“Am I supposed to know what that is?”

Rio turned on the lamp in a mad dash to find them both something decent to wear.

“As much as it pains me to say this. You’re going to need to cover all that up.” Rio gestured to the half-naked Agatha, whose legs were on full display, nipples straining hard against her t-shirt.

Agatha pouted as she slipped on some sweatpants and a crewneck, and they made their way downstairs.

Lilia, always at the scene of the crime, was loading ice into the blender while Alice and Jen were slicing limes.

“Ah, good evening, ladies. Did we interrupt something?” Lilia asked, wagging her eyebrows suggestively.

“Yeah, two perfectly good REM cycles.” Rio made her way into the kitchen to find the salt. “I believe you all know each other, but Alice Agatha, Jen Agatha. Speaking of, Jen, I heard you guys might be besties.”

On cue, Agatha gave Jen her biggest smile, accompanied by an innocent wave.

“Ugh, you have to be kidding me,” Jen groaned. “Of course she would end up with you.”

Rio laughed and poured them both a shot of tequila.

“Here.” She held out a shot for Agatha and Jen. “You just gotta force it down, and suddenly the world feels so much more pleasant.”

And she wasn’t wrong. Three shots and a few margaritas later, Jen and Agatha were swapping beauty secrets, and all four women were laughing so hard they could barely breathe.

“So, Rio, when do you think you’ll find the right gal?” Lilia pestered, taking advantage of the liquid courage.

“Lilia, can you give it a rest for one night?” Rio groaned and laid her head on the kitchen counter.

“For real though.” Alice piled on. “If I read one more bad Yelp review from a pissed off fling, you might crash the tourism market for the whole town.”

“Wait, what is this?” An amused Agatha piped up.

“Rio has a habit of sleeping with tourists, and not calling them again, and when they get pissed off, they leave her a bad review online,” Jen explained.

Agatha gave a fake offended gasp. She was loving getting the tea on Rio.

“Oh, please, since when is being a slut a crime in this family?” Rio asked, sending the table into hysterics. “And on that note, it’s been fun, ladies, but we have to be up in a disgustingly short amount of time.”

Rio walked them all to the door and waved goodbye.

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” Alice winked and mimed a blow job.

“You’re awful,” Rio laughed and locked the door.

She turned to find her guest leaning seductively in the doorframe between the kitchen and the living room.

“Your friends are—”

“Loud, annoying, intrusive, lacking any and all boundaries? Take your pick.”

“I was going to say fun,” Agatha laughed as she inched closer to Rio.

“Although.” Agatha inched her hands up Rio’s shirt, grabbing the fabric and pulling her against her. “I couldn’t stop thinking about kissing you.”

“That certainly sounds like a you problem.” Rio’s face broke out into a wide grin as Agatha pulled her down and crashed their lips together.

It started slow and innocent. Just two strangers learning each other. But soon Rio had them backed against the nearest wall. Hands sliding under shirts, grasping at heated skin. Tongues slipping past lips and teeth.

Rio reached under Agatha’s thighs, lifting her around her waist, and carried her to the living room couch. Their lips didn’t disconnect once. A truly impressive feat.

But because they’re mortals, eventually they stopped for air. Agatha pulled back, straddling Rio, and brushed the loose hair out of her face. A nearby flickering candle cast an orange glow across her pale skin.

She was gorgeous. This was the first time Rio really got to see her up close. The smattering of freckles across the bridge of her nose. The slight laugh lines on the corners of her mouth. A tiny scar on the side of her forehead.

And her eyes. Wait, her eyes.

“You have one green eye and one blue eye?” Rio questioned.

“Oh, yeah. I was born with it.” Agatha shrugged and moved to kiss Rio again.

But Rio deflected.

“It’s getting late.” Rio slid Agatha off her lap. “We should probably go to bed.”

“Did I do something?” Agatha stood and looked at Rio quizzically.

“No, just really tired.” Rio faked a yawn and stretch. “You go ahead and take my bed, and I’ll sleep down here.”

“Rio, what—”

“Goodnight, Agatha.”

Rio blew out the candle and turned off the living room light, leaving a very confused Agatha in the dark, literally, physically, and emotionally.

Notes:

More people should dance around fabulous 90s kitchens and drink margaritas with their witchy aunts. It would heal this country.🫡

Notes:

If I don't get attention, I'll simply pass away. Please consider this 🫶.