Chapter Text
Oh, sweet Jesus. What have I done? I can still feel the velvety touch of Daniel’s lips on mine. I found heaven, and it’s right here on Earth. In this very building, even. Why can’t I move? Did I just forget how to breathe? I’m in shock. Has to be. Fuck me. It’s official. I am toast. The truth was all there, in the kiss. No hiding behind proclamations of friendship, or working relationships, or declarations of heterosexuality, or fear of the unknown. I felt it. I felt him feel it. That was real. So damned real. For five years, I’ve been imagining what it would be like to be wrapped in his arms. How many times have I fantasized about planting my lips on his or wondered what it felt like to have all that passion directed at me? God, it was everything I thought it would be. Actually, it was even more mind-blowing than I could’ve ever imagined. Why am I shocked? Daniel gives 200% to everything he does. What a life-altering experience to feel it firsthand. That man is truly one in a million. Hell, no one in the galaxy even comes close to all that he is, and aspires to be.
When I slipped my arm around his waist and pulled him close, I knew. He felt it too. As soon as I heard his breath hitch, and that first tiny whimper he tried to disguise by clearing his throat. I knew I got it right. So intense. It was as if everything suddenly made sense in that moment. I was where I was supposed to be. With the person I was meant to be with. God, the glide of that sinful tongue over mine. His full lips just begging to be sucked on. I wonder what they’d feel like wrapped around my cock. Jesus, control yourself, O’Neill. He doesn’t even know you kissed him, and you’ve already got his face buried in your lap. Shit. But the way he leaned in, molded his body to mine. Oh, yeah, and he couldn’t hide his need, although to be fair, I don’t think he was trying too hard. Hard. Nice one, O’Neill. Mmm, the way his strong hand slid slowly around my neck to anchor me, and reveal his intent to blow my mind. Hmm, and blow my mind he did, as well as what’s left of my self-control. Oh, he was gonna give me what I was asking for, alright. That’s my Daniel. If he’s gonna do it, he’s gonna jump all the way in, feet first. I just can’t shake it. How do I carry on like normal now that I know that perfection is waiting there in his kiss? I must tell him. I must have more. I want to get lost in his moans, and the ecstasy on his face as I take him on ride after ride of pure bliss. I want to watch his eyes roll back in his head as he calls out my name with breathy demands to make him come. Jesus, I bet he knows exactly what he wants, and isn’t quiet about it. Shit. You’re getting off track, O’Neill. You’re a grown ass man. Calm yourself!
What a coward I am for taking the chance when I knew he wouldn’t remember. Asshole. But I had to know. We’ve been playing this game of cat and mouse for far too long. There has just been one too many times he batted his feathery eyelashes at me, or was it all the barely disguised looks of longing behind those soulful, piercing eyes? Maybe it was all the late-night conversations that neither of us wanted to end, or the way he comes to me when he’s hurt or sad or happy or excited. Maybe it was all the times he found an excuse to lean on me, or brush my shoulder, or pat my back. Yeah, all of that, but let’s be real here, it’s the way he always shows up for me. How rare to have such a beautiful soul, and a kind heart, all wrapped in a gorgeous package! He’s perfect in every way. Perfect for me.
I can’t be crazy. He wants me, too. I felt it coming off him like waves, and I feel his love for me every single day. It’s time to make my move. I’ve got your number, Daniel. You can’t hide from me anymore. Once we get out of this Groundhog Day from hell, I am going to spill my guts. And then I’m going to kiss you again. So well that you can’t imagine going one more day without having me around to kiss anytime you want, or, you know, find even more creative uses for our mouths. Oh, you’re a pig, O’Neill. A filthy, horny pig. At least I’m self-aware. And a great lover. So there’s that.
Speaking of being a horny pig. Why the fuck did I kiss Carter?! Morbid curiosity? Did I actually think I’d like it? I’m an equal opportunity kisser, sure, but Carter? I care about her alright, but certainly not that way. Damn it. What a mistake that was. I got caught up in the moment. I’ll have to admit that to both of them. But not today. Or anytime soon. What. An. Idiot.
It sure did prove my suspicions, though. Zero passion. Zero excitement. Zero intimacy. She wants a daddy figure, and is attracted to power. Let’s be so for real here. She never wanted me. Ugh, stop thinking about Carter! I need to concentrate on the matter at hand, or is it on the lips in question?
I am such a coward. But at least I have the answer to the burning Daniel question, and confirmation that I was right on the Carter suspicions.
Once we break free from this fucking endless hamster wheel we’re calling a time loop, I’m spilling my entire guts. The decision has been made, and there’s no chickening out. The very moment I get his perfect ass alone, I will be the bravest I’ve ever been and tell the man that he’s my whole world. Then I’m going straight back in for another one of those earth-moving kisses that I just want to set up camp, and live in for eternity.
He will know that I fell in love with him on the sands of Abydos, where he saved me from myself. Such a gentle spirit, kind, and he’s not afraid to tell me to fuck off! I love that about him. I have never trusted anyone more in my life. I know he will always tell me the truth and will always have my best interest at heart. Honestly, it’s like the universe ticked every box on my perfect partner application, and plopped said person right in my path. He will hear how watching him die to save my life on our very first mission showed me all I needed to know about him. My guys and I gave him so much shit, too. God, Daniel, please figure this out soon, before I lose my mind. Now that I’ve made the decision, I feel like I can’t wait another minute. I know he’ll fix it. I just have to be patient. Yeah, because I have *that* in spades.
How long have I been standing here? Too long, I’m sure. Time to go see what the smart folks are doing this loop around.
Count your days, Danny boy. You will be mine, and it will be incredible. They will write songs about our love, and make movies about our adventures. Let’s go and really give ‘em something to talk about.