Chapter Text
John met his future wife in the halls of a dorm. He had been invited out to a party with his friends when he had walked by a group of girls and had come to a full stop upon seeing her - the girl with the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen. Love at first sight seemed to be a real thing to him in that moment - not that he had ever believed in it before. There she was though, Claudia Gajos, a woman with amber in her eyes and honey in her voice, not to mention her smile. God, when that woman smiled at him, John swore he would do everything he could to get to know her. He quickly learned she had wit sharper than any knife and a brain that moved at the speed of light. The day she agreed to go out with him was one of the happiest days of John’s life. The day he said “I love you” was another - getting infinitely better when she said it back.
It was like he blinked and they were standing and posing for their wedding pictures.
John didn’t know how he had gotten so lucky.
Claudia was the most beautiful human John had ever known. Until the day their daughter was born. Nicknamed Stiles when the little girl was just a toddler and struggling to say her own name, John was struck once more by the idea of love at first sight. Seeing their little girl, swaddled in a baby blanket, resting on Claudia’s chest, John knew he would do everything he could to make sure she had the best life possible.
He didn’t know where it all went wrong.
Maybe it was the first day Claudia got a headache that kept her shut away in her room, refusing to even read to Stiles before bed - something she had always done every night since the girl had been born. Maybe it was the first time John realized that Claudia’s memory wasn’t what it used to be - she had forgotten to pick Stiles up from school for the third day in a row. It had become a pattern, and not one that John wanted to see continued. Maybe it was the first time Claudia had screamed at Stiles with real venom in her voice, raging at the poor girl who had been trying to make the tea her mother loved and had gotten burned by the boiling water, dropping a mug that Claudia had gotten in Poland. Maybe it was the first hospital visit where the doctors wanted to take some scans of her brain, and Claudia had adamantly refused, storming out of the hospital with an IV needle still in her arm.
John wasn’t sure which was the exact moment things had gone wrong. But he knew everything had to be real fucked up to be here: watching his daughter holding her mother’s hand despite her mother saying that she didn’t know who Stiles was and why was there some strange kid sitting by her bedside. Stiles had sat there with silent tears in her eyes as the woman who had been her mother ignored her, looking only at John as she took her last breaths. The continuous beep of the heart rate machine was more deafening than anything John had ever heard.
Two hours later he was walking out of the hospital, desperate for air when a little hand grabbed his and he flinched as if he had been burned. Looking down he saw the same eyes looking up at him that he had just watched close for the last time. John wasn’t proud to admit that he wrenched his hand free and picked up his pace to his car, only mildly disappointed when the kid ran to catch up.
For the next few days John was haunted by the ghost of his angel of a wife and the demon looking up at him like he had any clue what to do now. He made it through the funeral by the skin of his teeth. A small, twisted part of him was furious the demon had lived and his angel had died. But he was the sheriff, and the optics of what he wanted to do to the demon would cost him the last good thing he had in his life - his career.
And so he kept moving forward. He threw himself into his job instead of taking care of the child who had lost her mother and was now losing her father. He worked way past the hours of his shift and came back to a house that no longer felt like home.
It wasn’t until he had gotten a call from the family physician that Stiles had missed her annual check up weeks later that John even remembered his daughter. He cut out of work early to speed home, surprising the girl who was on her hands and knees scrubbing the same spot of the kitchen floor over and over and over again. John froze as he looked at the kid who didn’t even look up at him, afraid her eyes would get her in more trouble than she already was - not that she knew what she did exactly - but she was smart enough to figure out that her dad didn’t like it when she looked at him because she had her mom’s eyes.
“You missed your appointment,” John said, his voice gruff.
Stiles wasn’t even nine years old at that time. She hadn’t known she had a doctor’s appointment much less how to get to it on her own. Honestly it was a miracle she was still somewhat functioning. She had existed off handfuls of stale snacks and whatever she could find to microwave. It wasn’t like her dad was really around anymore.
“They can get you in now,” John added, hands balling into fists at his sides as he struggled to contain his temper. He didn’t know why he felt so close to flying off the handle, but he knew he had to take her. Or people would start asking questions.
Stiles stopped what she was doing and stood to follow her dad to his car. They walked into the office, and she was taken by a nurse to a patient room to be checked out. Stiles remembered how the nurse had smiled sadly and apologized to her about her loss. Stiles didn't know which loss she was talking about until the nurse kept talking about how tragic it was and how much a girl needs her mother and if she had any questions she could always come ask her. Stiles had looked up then, meeting the stranger’s eyes and seeing this kind face haloed by dark curls looking down at her.
“My name is Mrs. McCall, but you can call me Melissa,” the kind face had said to her.
Stiles tried to smile, but she must not have been able to get her face to do it right because the woman winced.
“I have a son about your age. His name is Scott. He’s in the lounge right now. Would you like to meet him after your appointment?”
Stiles nodded.
Melissa smiled.
The doctor came in. He didn’t smile. He went through the motions of a check up. Stiles remembered her last couple of ones. Knew she would have to take deep breaths when he put the stethoscope to her chest and back to listen to her lungs. Knew he would use the funny looking hammer to tap against her knees. Knew she had to step on a scale to get her weight and height measured. She watched afterwards as the doctor talked to her dad. Neither of them were smiling.
Melissa took Stiles’s hand and led her to the lounge where an equally as dark curly haired boy was paging through some comic books. Scott smiled when he saw Stiles. Stiles almost smiled back. Scott shared one of the comics with her. Stiles read it obediently. Scott talked about his mom and dad and how they fought sometimes. Stiles listened. Scott let her borrow a comic and said he would see her at school in a few days. Stiles had forgotten about school. But she managed a smile and took the comic, only dropping her smile when she saw her dad’s face.
John took his daughter back to the house. Then he told her to sit at the table while he got himself a drink.
Stiles sat and waited.
John filled his glass higher than he had planned, but he still downed it in one go. Then he was sitting across the table from the girl and looking at her like she was one of the suspects he was trying to make a deal with.
“The doctor said you are underweight. He asked me if I had been feeding you enough since - since everything that happened. I can’t have a doctor asking me questions like that. So...things around here are going to change. I have to go to work. I have to make money to pay the bills of this house. That is my job. Your job will be here doing what - what she did. Taking care of the house and yourself. You’re a big kid now. It shouldn’t be too hard,” John explained, using the same voice he had used with hundreds of suspects for crimes ranging from traffic violations to petty theft to murder. Distantly he realized that the girl sitting across from him was his child - not a suspect. But it was all he could to do to hold himself together.
“Listen. I never thought I would be a single parent here, kid. You make the future real difficult now that…that she’s gone. So you are going to have to work with me because I can’t do it all on my own.”
John winced at his wording, but he couldn't take them back.
Stiles nodded a few times, still looking down at her lap and biting her lip to stop herself from crying. She knew how much her dad hated it when she cried.
“Stop that. You can’t have a fat lip when you go back to school,” he snapped, harsher than he intended.
Stiles just nodded again and stopped biting her lip. John didn’t see the way her hands balled into fists so she could press her nails into her palms.
“Good. We understand each other. Now, shifts are picking up in the next few weeks so I won’t have time to take you shopping or anything before school. There’s an old bike in the garage you can use. Stay on the sidewalks. Cross at the right crossings. I’ll leave some money here for you to get what you need. Ok?”
Stiles nodded.
“Answer me when I ask you a question.”
“Ok,” she whispered.
She still didn’t look up.
John nodded, took his wallet out, and slapped some bills on the table. “Pick up some groceries while you’re at it. Never too young to start learning a life skill like cooking.” Then he announced he was heading to his room. It had been a long day.
Stiles didn’t miss how he took the bottle with him instead of his glass.
And so Stiles learned to take care of herself. She found the bike buried under the boxes in the garage. Used an old rag to dust it off. Found a pump to fill the tires. Rode it to the grocery store to pick up some of what she remembered her mom getting. It was really hard biking back with bags on her handles. She quickly figured out how to attach a wagon to the back of her bike. It made shopping a lot easier.
The bike gave her a freedom she hadn’t had too. She biked all over town. Her favorite place to go was the library where she spent equal time between the fairytale section and what the librarian called the Home Economics section. Stiles pretended to not notice the pitying looks as the librarians helped her find books on cooking and cleaning and house management. To them, she was being an angel of a child, taking care of her grieving father.
To Stiles, she was a demon trying to do her penance.
By the time the second half of the school year was over, no one would ever know that Stiles kept the Stilinski home running. She learned how to manage calendars with her dad’s work schedule and watched the mail for the schedule for the bills. Stiles learned to forge her dad's signature and had to take the first few checks to the post office, slipping them into the mail slots and hoping they would get where they needed to go. She had read about people losing their homes for not paying bills. When things went electric, Stiles was able to do all of it from the library computer, bringing her notebook full of bills and tables she had started to make to track their spending. The money spent on alcohol was always so much higher than the food. It was the only shopping her dad did.
John never asked how the bills got paid on time. He just gave her access to his credit card and said he’d be watching it closely to make sure she wasn’t spending money on anything that wasn’t absolutely necessary.
Stiles also became better friends with Scott. She was even invited to their house sometimes for dinner. Stiles made sure to bring her notebook so she could try to secretly watch Melissa cook, taking notes on the ingredients and techniques so she could try to recreate the meals for her dad. He didn’t like when she made the same three things over and over and over again.
Melissa being the angel she was caught on to what Stiles was doing and invited her into the kitchen. They cooked dinner together. They were some of the happiest memories Stiles made during that first year of being without her own mom.
John had gotten Melissa’s number from that first doctor’s appointment. He appreciated that she was looking out for Stiles. He knew he wasn’t doing a good job. He just couldn’t bring himself to do anything about it because every time he looked at Stiles, he saw Claudia and thought of how much he had lost.
Normally, he looked forward to any texts from Melissa. Heads up about school things. Reminders about parent teacher conference night where he was told much to his surprise that Stiles was smart, but she had a hard time focusing. He already knew she couldn’t focus. He didn’t know she was that smart.
Melissa helped him get Stiles evaluated by a neuro-psych. The results came back as ADHD and Stiles cried almost as hard as she did when her mother died. Of course she did it in her room, sitting on the floor of the closet with the door closed and a pillow over her face so her dad wouldn't hear her. It was one more thing that made her harder to take care of. She hated Melissa for weeks after that. Hated that she had dragged her dad into this. Hated that she had given her dad another reason to look at her like she was a disease.
But then Stiles was on medication. And it helped. She could focus and get so much more done now. The house had never been so clean. And her dad had never been so tolerant.
Stiles eventually went back to Scott and Melissa’s house for dinner.
It wasn’t until John got a text from Melissa asking if he had any plans for Stiles’s birthday that he got angry again. He disappeared for days - working double shifts or locking himself in his room.
He missed Stiles’s ninth birthday.
When Melissa came over pounding on the door, he was met with a look of such disgust that it had him reeling back as if he had been punched.
“She’s your daughter, John. She’s hurting too,” Melissa had scolded him - scolded him - like he was some child. “You can’t keep doing this or I will report you for neglect. I swear. Don’t think I don’t know that it’s a child taking care of this house - the bills, the groceries, the cooking, the cleaning, the upkeep. I gave you grace at first, knowing you were stewing in your own grief. But you’re the fucking adult here, John. It’s your job to take care of her. Not the other way around.”
John took a cold shower and then dragged Stiles to the mall where he bought her clothes and books and a computer.
Stiles held back tears the entire time.
But she made a cake from a recipe she had learned from one of the books she had gotten. She brought it to Melissa and Scott the next time she was invited over for dinner. Melissa cried and hugged her so hard Stiles could close her eyes and almost feel like it was her own mother hugging her.
John did a better job after that. For the most part. He still missed some important dates from time to time. He still drank too much. But he tried to be a little bit more involved. He even took Stiles out to dinner at the little dive he used to go to with Claudia when they were dating. They started going out to dinner together - first just once a month and then every other week and finally every Wednesday.
It was the most normal Stiles had felt since way before her mom had died.
Things continued like that for years. John made sure he never missed another birthday. Melissa made sure of it too. Stiles and Scott became such good friends they were practically siblings. Everything was going alright - relative to how it started.
Until Stiles got to high school. Then everything fell to shit again.