Wonderland

by Redemonlord

Summary:

Yunho finds himself in Wonderland under the guise of "Alice." His friends are scattered; some eager to help him navigate this land while others plot to keep him in the dark. As he meets twisted versions of the members, he feels their hidden agendas. One group urges him to question everything. The other, masked in smiles, insists in ignorance. But in a place ruled by madness, the sane make as much sense as the crazy and the truth, slowly uncovered, can either shatter the ties they've built or save them all.

Chapter 1: Prologue - Crazy Form

Notes:

I have never in my life written anything remotely scary. sad? yes. suspenseful? slay the house boots down yes. distrubing? absolutely not. but, i love thriller and horror so here is my attempt (don't judge too harshly, though constructive criticsm is appreciated) looking back, i realize this is not at all giving the unsettling vibe i was going for but its okay. all that matters is that i attempted it anyway

this all started with me thinking about what role every ateez member would play if they were an alice in wonderland character and quickly devolved into…whatever this is.

Also note: this is mostly based off of the ateez mv's and not the actual lore (bc i got lazy) and includes a mix of things i made up that are not included in the lore WHATSOEVER. if you want to know more, don’t hesitate to ask :)

They're so close. They're so close to being done. They're so close to winning this.

Wooyoung is tinkering with the innermost cogs of their newest invention as Yunho checks the code on the holographic screen, again and again. He reads over every line because this is their only shot. One mistake—one wrong line of code or one spring out of place and their plans of awakening the inhabitants of World Z will implode in their faces.

"Are you guys done yet?" Hongjoong says through the radio, followed by an intelligible string of static. He sounds out of breath, like he hasn't stopped running once this entire time. Yunho's hand hovers over the hologram, switching to the cameras they'd overridden in some of the more unnoticeable parts of the city. The slums. That's where Hongjoong was, tucked into an alley out of sight of the approaching officers looking for him.

"Almost." He says into the comms, because Wooyoung isn't finished and he can only pretend to keep himself busy for so long before that feeling of helplessness starts to eat him alive. He's checked the code so many times it stopped making any sense at all. "Wooyoung is tightening the last of the screws." His hands switch to the other cameras they'd gotten access to, spotting another set of officers approaching Hongjoongs position. "On your right," he says. "Get out of the alley."

Hongjoong does as Yunho says without hesitation, ducking into an empty street trashed with all sorts of junk people like them could have good uses for. He mutters a curse under his breath as he hurries down a street opposite. "Fucking hell, tell him to hurry the fuck up. Is he trying to kill us?"

"Fuck you, asshole, I told you it wasn't a good idea to put us on a timer but did you listen to me? No!" Wooyoung sits at the table a few feet away from Yunho's, just to the left. Their space is clattered with all kinds of junk, a variety of computers and wires and holograms spread out in front of them, rescued from the slums and repurposed by the two tech geeks.

The blue glow of the display in front of Wooyoung focuses on the Disposal Site where Seonghwa and San are providing a distraction. This way, the guardians can't set their sights on the rest of them.

The blue glare of the hologram makes Wooyoungs scowl look softer. More sad than anything else.

He knows Wooyoung is worried. About this mission, about Hongjoong, though he does a shit job of showing it. About San, most of all. He knows their fight runs rampant on his mind.

"I'll go." San had said, once they were discussing their roles and teams. The way he said it, with determination and finality, made it clear that such a thing was not negotiable. Not like any of them wanted to take his place, anyway. It was practically suicide.

"What?" Wooyoungs head snapped to him with so much force it had inadvertently drawn every single persons attention. "What are you talking about? You can't go—they'll kill you!"

The name didn't leave very much to the imagination. The Disposal Site was a place the government put rebels and the awakened. It was where they were all gruesomely disposed of. They'd all heard the horror stories. No one ever dared to step foot in that place. Not even the Black Pirates.

Sans mind was already made up and in instances like this, not even Wooyoung would be able to change it. He begged and he shed tears. He showed them all the most vulnerable parts of himself but to no avail. San went regardless, followed by Seonghwa who, with pitying eyes, had promised Wooyoung to do everything in his power to keep San safe.

"Yeosang is closer to you than I am." Hongjoong says through the comms, running past another squad car. More would show up the longer they take. Wooyoung really does have to hurry. "Give it to him once you're done."

"What are you going to do?" Hongjoong was the type to deviate from the plan whenever some brilliantly stupid idea came to him. Yunho can tell just from the tone of his voice and this is one such moment.

Silence greets him on the other end of the line.

"Captain?" Yunho tries again. When he doesn't get a response he tries: "Hongjoong."

"A little media coverage never hurt anybody."

Wooyoung groans from where he's still tinkering with the device, turning his screwdriver to point at Yunho. "Please, for the love of god, tell him not to do anything stupid."

Yunho recites Wooyoungs words and Hongjoong chuckles. He can practically see that wicked grin split across his face. "No promises."

Once Hongjoongs words are nothing but static on the line, Yunho turns his mic off and makes quick work of pulling up the location of the other members. He finds that Yeosang isn't too far away from Hongjoong, using graffiti to spread their message across walls and garage doors. He isn't hard to miss, with his mess of black and green hair. It's loud and messy and nothing at all like Yeosangs personality but they needed to draw attention away from Yunho and Wooyoung and the best way to do that was to be as loud as possible.

Once Yunho's sure neither of them are in any particular danger he moves on, zooming in on the cameras they'd hacked in the Disposal Site that show Seonghwa and San singing and dancing. They slip through the guardians hands and work together to keep them busy. Neither seem to be injured beyond a few light scratches here and there. That's a miracle in and of itself.

He pulls up all the images side by side, reluctant to check in on Mingi and Jongho's team. The lounge was the only place Yunho couldn't access the cameras through, unable to get past the security, but they had audio and that would have to be enough.

He raises the volume once he realizes they're speaking, turning the dial so its loud enough that Wooyoung can hear it too.

"…Black Pirates…" an unfamiliar voice filters through the static. "Nuisance but easy…get rid of…not to worry…"

Yunho feels his stomach climb up to his throat. He hears Mingi laugh and his anxiety quells, just a little. It's that fake sort of laugh. To Yunho, who has known Mingi the longest, it sounds forced but he supposes it doesn't matter if the commanders they are meeting with won't be able to tell the difference. Jongho carries the conversation when Mingi drops it, saying one thing or another about underestimating ones enemies.

Not even a second passes before they hear a gunshot. Then another, in quick succession. The sound of water. Sprinklers? The shattering of glass. There's shouts and screams and the resounding sound of gunshots. Too many to count. Then, a loud resounding boom.

Wooyoung is standing behind him now, though Yunho hadn't heard his footsteps or noticed his presence until right then. He's watching the screen just as intently as Yunho, though there is nothing to see.

"Team 2, come in."

Yunho doesn't realize he's holding his breath until Mingi's voice cuts through the static. "We're fine." He says, and Yunho watches the monitor so it shows the footage outside of the lounge where the getaway car is parked. Except, now it isn't parked perfectly like it was before. Now the front of it is inside the wall of the building, the rubble of the broken wall scattered around the hood of the car. "Connect me to the Captain."

"Holy shit," Wooyoung whispers beside him, watching the wreck that used to be their only form of transportation. Yunho wordlessly agrees. The front doesn't look too compact. It might still be able to run without blowing up anyone sitting inside. Probably. Hopefully. If after all they've been through this is what decidedly takes Mingi's life Yunho will be so mad he'll kill himself just to haunt and scold Mingi for the rest of eternity in the afterlife.

Yunho does as he's asked, shoving aside such unhelpful thoughts. "Connected."

He barely notices when Wooyoung leaves his side to get back to working on the device, hands moving faster now that the first team has accomplished the mission they'd been given.

"Team 2 here, the Commanders have both been disposed of," a rustle of fabric. A click of a gun. The revving of an engine. "Permission to return to base, Captain?"

"Permission granted." Hongjoong says from the other side, breathless. "Are you both alright?"

"Fine," Jongho replies. "But the car took a hit."

"What—"

"Finished." Wooyoung interrupts the line, putting an end to their conversation before it has even begun. "Yeosang, where are you?"

"Elmwood street." Yeosang replies. He's breathless too and when Yunho glances at the live footage of the alleyways he finds Yeosang is also running from the cops. "Be there in five."

"Fuck," Hongjoong curses, and the sirens are loud enough that Yunho can hear them on the other side of the line. "I have to go. You all know what to do. Yeosang, I'll be waiting for you at the meeting sight. Don't get caught—that goes for all of you."

A chorus of agreement comes through the line before they all fall silent once more. Yunho wills his heart to keep beating at a steady pace.

Yeosang, as promised, arrives not long after. He bursts in, red faced and panting. "Finished?"

Wooyoung nods, handing him their completed invention. It's round and small enough to fit in a pocket. Blue and made of the scrap metal they've been hoarding. It's their pride and joy. Yunho and Wooyoung spent endless mornings and nights working on that thing in the hopes that it will finally give them the upper hand they need against Strictland and it's brainwashed citizens.

Yeosang thanks them with a nod before disappearing out the door.

Once he sits back down, Yunho opens the comms once more. "Team 4, how are you doing?"

"How do you think?" Seonghwa mutters, struggling to hold his own against the many cloaked figures that attempt to drag him away. it seems San is having much the same problem.

"Our plans are underway. Just hold on for a little longer."

"Don't worry about us." Sans voice carries louder than Seonghwa's does. He sounds exhausted. Looks exhausted too, from what Yunho can see of him on the screen. "We've got this handled."

"If you need backup—"

San doesn't even let him finish. "No backup." He says, just as a punch is thrown his way. He dodges, swiftly tackling the hooded figure just in time to dodge another blow from some other hooded figure. Yunho knows San is only saying that because he knows they're the only two that can come to their aid and he's not going to put Wooyoung in danger. Not even if it'll cost him his own life.

"Alright," he hears Wooyoung say. He doesn't do a good job of hiding his bitter tone. "Good luck."

"Yunho," Yeosang says through the comms, interrupting their conversation. "Connect me to everyone."

Yunho does as he's told. "Connected."

"Team 3 in position." Yeosang is tucked away in an alley not too far away from Hongjoong who is being restrained by two officers. Yunho has to remind himself to that this is all part of the plan. It doesn't matter if he's caught if they manage to get the device working in time.

"Team 4 in position." Seonghwa grunts, strained. One glance at the cameras show he's being overpowered by three Guardians at once. San is very much in the same position, not too far away. Still, their providing a better distraction than Yunho expected, luring many such Guardians to the Disposal Site far away from the rest of them.

Yunho hears the click of a door behind them and tenses immediately. He knows who it is even without turning to look; sees Mingi's reflection staring back at him in the hologram. Jongho follows him inside before locking the door shut. "Team 2 in position." His voice carries.

"Team 1?"

Yunho starts initiating the download as Wooyoung takes care of the more technical side of things, making sure all the parts are activated. "Team 1 in position."

It's all eyes on Hongjoong now. Yunho zooms in on the screen displaying him, and the smaller screen that shows he's on the news, with the captions warning the citizens of the Black Pirates appearance in the lounge Jongho and Mingi ransacked just moments ago.

He feels more than sees the others gather around him, watching intently as Hongjoong laughs where he's being pressed up against the hood of a car. Then he reaches a hand into a pocket and sticks the device they gave to Yeosang to the side of the car. Yunho keeps his eye on the loading screen in the corner.

97%.

"I just want you all to know," Wooyoung starts, "that if this doesn't work and we all die—"

"We're not gonna die." Jongho interrupts.

"—working with you all was a pleasure. You're the bestest friends I could've ever ask for."

98%.

Yunho's eyes catch on Mingi. He wants to apologize, if this is the last moment he will see him. He wants to tell Mingi how special he is to him; how he's so very sorry for going against his wishes and doing the opposite of what he was told. How he's sorry for lying straight to his face. "Mingi—"

"I won't forgive you." Mingi interrupts, refusing to let Yunho so much as speak. His eyes are cold and Yunho cannot bear to look at them so he looks down at Mingi's hands insteads, bloodied and trembling at his side. "You haven't earned my forgiveness. Maybe you never will."

Yunho's lips curl into a bitter smile. "You wouldn't forgive me even at the end of the world?"

"Not even then," Mingi says, his voice is cold but his eyes—his eyes tell Yunho everything he needs to know. Despite the indifference, there is a softness in his gaze that has only ever been directed at Yunho. "Not even now."

"I think you're lying." He whispers. "You care too much about me to start hating me now, after all these years."

Mingi grits his teeth but says nothing. He knows Yunho's right. They both do.

99%.

"Hate and forgiveness are two different things." Jongho pipes up. "Don't be an idiot. If this is the last time we're alive, don't you want your last words to be more affectionate?"

Mingi scoffs, sparing Yunho a furtive glance. "No, I don't think I do."

"Well I do." Wooyoung interrupts. "And I want you idiots to know that I love you, regardless of what happens next."

Yunho doesn't have to look to know they've reached 100%. There is one singular beep, alone in the terse silence and in the next second, a blue shockwave trembles the ground beneath their feet; running down Yunho's spine. He knows he's not the only one that feels it when his gaze locks with the others and not even a split second later a wave of pain crashes over him before he blinks and is easily enveloped by the cold arms of the black abyss.

Chapter 2: Caterpillar

Notes:

this is a mix of original disney animated cartoon Alice in Wonderland and the 2010 Tim Burton Wonderland but mostly the animated cartoon except it doesn't make sense for Alice to be a child (ateez are the same age they would have been during the crazy form era) so you can expect the themes to be a little more dark and mature like the Tim Burton (theres also a few things i pulled from the book but not as many as youd think)

Yunho gasps awake, drenched in sweat with his heart pumping at twice the rhythm it should be. He doesn't know why it feels like a hand is squeezing him, making it that much harder to breathe. He doesn't know why his throat feels clogged, either, or why he knows the only thing he feels for certain is fear.

He's terrified.

His eyes flit franticly around, trying to discern where he is. Who he is. When it is—Because he doesn't remember. Why doesn't he remember?

"The drink." Calls an unfamiliar voice, snapping him out of his panicked reverie. "Drink the bottle."

Yunho's head whips at the sound as he tries to figure out who it is that is speaking to him. There is no one here. There's nothing here but an empty room, tiled from floor to wall. There's neither a table nor chair—not even a door to speak of.

"Here." The voice says. Yunho's head snaps at the sound but still, there's nothing. The more it speaks, the more dreadful Yunho feels. It's a nasally, pompous voice that irks him for reasons even he does not know. "Down here."

Yunho's eyes follow the voice down and fall immediately to the little wooden door sticking out of the wall. It can't be any bigger than his hand. Yunho crouches down to look at it, reaching for the golden door knob without a second thought.

"Ow!"

He falls back with gasp, eyes wide as he takes in the sight of the doorknob and the face that looks back at him with its brow curled. He realizes then that it's the door knob speaking and for whatever reason, that doesn't seem unusual at all. Well, part of it does. Part of him feels incredulous—stunned stock still—but another, more present part of him accepts this turn of events quite readily. This is just how it is, in this place. How its always been.

"Oh," he breathes. "You scared me."

"I scared you?" The voice continues in his posh accent, scoffing at the implication. "Look at your size and look at me!"

Yunho tries not to let the door knobs words bother him. The implication that he's quite big isn't nice at all. "I'm sorry, but can I pass through?"

He doesn't know why he needs to, only that he does. It feels like the right move. It feels like the only move. What else is there to do in a room with only walls and one tiny door that can barely fit his hand?

"No," the doorknob replies, not at all impressed. "You're much too big."

"But I—"

"Drink from that bottle."

Yunho frowns. He knows there isn't a potion or anything of the sort in the empty room but as soon as he turns his head to look he finds there's a round table where there wasn't one before. And on that round table, there sits a small bottle of clear liquid.

Yunho gets up and almost trips over his own coattails—light blue and incredibly uncomfortable to move in—but recovers with a huff as he slowly approaches the small table.

He picks up the small bottle to examine it and finds there's a tag attached to the top.

Drink me.

So Yunho does.

His stomach twists but within seconds he looks up to find the table is much bigger than it was before. Taller than plenty of trees he's seen in his lifetime, perhaps. He looks back at the door and finds that he's small enough now to fit through. The face of the door knob might as well be as tall as him.

"Well," he looks around at the ridiculously large room, much bigger now that his perspective has changed. He feels insignificant like this; nothing more than an ant to be stepped on. "I suppose I'm the right size now."

The door knob turns his head as if to disagree. Yunho doesn't understand how he's able to even move. That doesn't sound very logical. "I'm locked."

Yunho blinks, blinded by a flash of anger that fades as soon as it came. "You couldn't think to tell me that sooner?"

If he had shoulders, Yunho is sure the object would've shrugged. "Doesn't matter. You've got the key."

"What key?"

He gasps in mock sympathy and Yunho wants nothing more than to strangle him, though he hasn't even a neck. "Don't tell me you left it on the table?"

Yunho turns his head to look and sure enough, a key appears right before his eyes. A key that wasn't there before. He lets out a noise of frustration, making an effort to climb up the table but he slips with every step. He pushes with every ounce of his strength one last time, once he gets relatively further than before, but he slips down before he can make it.

He—once again—turns to the door knob for advice. The door knob. Some far off part of him reasons that there is nothing logical about a talking, moving, door knob but another, much more present part doesn't understand why he's finding such a concept so unusual. It's like two sides of him are at war, and neither side is able to get the upper hand.

"Try the box." The door knob answers his silent question with a smirk just as a box appears at Yunho's feet. Literally appears, hidden behind a puff of pink smoke.

It's a box of cookies, he realizes. They're in all kinds of different shapes but one thing that's the same is the words written on the surface of each.

Eat me.

So Yunho does.

His stomach tightens again and in the next second he's bigger than the table. Much, much, much bigger than the table. Maybe three times it's size. Regardless, he's tall enough now to grab the key, which he can barely hold with his forefinger and thumb. The walls seem to close around him, suffocating him, in a way, but he tries not to think about it. He closes his eyes and wills himself to breathe.

He drinks from the bottle again and goes right back to the size he was before, small enough to fit through the door. He jams the key into the mouth of the door knob harshly. More out of spite than anything else, ignoring the protests that gets him from the inanimate—animate?—object.

He pushes open the door and walks through without any more fuss, only to be met with the sight of a white rabbit in a suit looking down at a pocket watch. He's surrounded by foliage, the trees and flowers around them much bigger than he would expect. He's still small, Yunho realizes, probably as tall as a blade of grass and the rabbit is twice as big as him. It could swallow him whole, if it wanted to.

it's white, with red, unseeing eyes focused on the horizon. It doesn't seem to notice Yunho, who is eclipsed by the creatures shadow. It's ears are twitching, fast and unpredictable. Like it's waiting for something. It's nose twitches in tandem, a nervous tick of sorts. But most peculiar of all is the way its dressed, in a coat fit tailored perfectly for its form with a pocket watch in his hand.

He doesn't know what it is about that rabbit, but he knows that he has to approach it, even if the fact that it's just standing there in the middle of a forest is peculiar. Even if its size makes his heart thrum louder in his chest the closer he approaches.

He knows he has to, for one reason or another, so he does.

"Hello? Sir? Do you—"

"I'm late!" The rabbit replies, with panic and a little something else. His voice, unlike the doorknob, rings familiar, though Yunho hasn't any idea why. He speaks in human tongue, which startles the part of Yunho that finds this entire thing more than a little unusual. "I'm late! I'm so very late!"

"Wait, sir can you tell me where—"

"I have to go!" He gasps, shoving the watch in his pocket. A watch that catches the light—blinding Yunho for that split second the rabbit starts moving. "I'm so late!"

He flees before Yunho can get another word out of him. He's not sure what he's supposed to do here but the rabbit is the only thing that gives him a sense of familiarity. He doesn't know what it reminds him of, but he knows that the feeling that voice brings is something he can't so easily let slip from his grasp. It makes him feel warm. Comforted. Cared for. It wouldn't be reasonable for a strangers voice to make him feel that way but—he supposes—nothing here can be considered reasonable.

He runs after the rabbit until he's out of breath and wheezing. He stops once he realizes he can't keep up and from there he wanders aimlessly, following the footsteps the rabbit left behind until he reaches a forest. Another one. A different one.

He's walking across the grass, watching the way the sunlight falls through the gaps in the leaves above when he pauses, hearing the crack of a twig. He feels eyes on him and knows that he is not alone.

It's startlingly quiet for a beat. The only sound for miles is the slight howl of the wind, rustling the leaves above his head. There should be birds somewhere around here, or at least some other type of animal squirming around, but there is nothing. Nothing but the silence and the eyes on his back.

"Whose there?" He asks.

No answer.

"I know you're there!" He calls, hands bunching into fists at his side in preparation. He doesn't know why his first instinct is to fight when his heart is in his throat and his hands are trembling but despite not really knowing who he is, he knows that he is not one to run from a fight.

A rustle of leaves and an intelligible whisper makes him whip his head to the source. He expects a beast, or a murderer of sorts. Someone to be wary of. Instead he finds two boys—twins—who dress and act very much the same. It's creepy, the way they smile, like something stitched permanently to their faces. Their eyes are unnaturally wide and unblinking, the veins of red peeking from the corner of the whites of their eyes.

Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum. That's what they introduce themselves as, constantly bickering with each other. Yunho might as well not be there. When he grabs their attention again, they throw him into their bickering and begin to tell him a story with high, irksome voices that mutter insult after insult, masked under the pretense of honesty and truth.

It's a story he doesn't really garner the purpose of and easily forgets, about a walrus, a carpenter, and the curious oyster children that were eaten alive for their curiousity. He listens until he gets bored, asking about the rabbit that they seemingly know not a single thing about. He excuses himself once he realizes this is nothing more than a waste of his time, wandering through the forest aimlessly once more.

Still, the only thing he can think about is that story as he makes his way past the overgrown foliage. Curiosity is not a good thing. That's what the twins were trying to convince him of. He doesn't know why, but the thought brings with it an uneasy feeling.

He talks to singing flowers that are ten times bigger than he is, trying his best to hold back his anger at the insults they spit in his face.

Too small. Too tall. Too unsightly. Not colorful enough. All alone, like the weeds plucked unforgivingly from the ground.

He tries not to let any of their words bother him. He tries, and fails spectacularly. Instead of the twins words haunting him now, it is the meanest of flowers. They scowl at him with disgusted sneers that make him cower. He hates them. He hates that despite how beautiful they are on the outside, they are the ugliest things here. Their rudeness is what makes them ugly.

He curses them out under his breath, following the White Rabbits trail to another secluded part of the forest, thankful to have found the tracks at all.

He smells smoke and flavored air and by now, he should know better than to engage with the peculiar creatures of the forest but he just can't help himself. Especially not when he starts to hear singing, so familiar and oh so beautiful. He's simply too curious.

Curiousity killed the cat, he remembers someone saying once. He was caught doing something he wasn't supposed to be doing, though he can't for the life of him remember what it was. It was in some other life, he thinks, when the flowers didn't glare and the rabbits didn't talk.

But satisfaction brought it back. He used to reply in turn, the second part of the infamous saying often forgotten. He doesn't know where he'd learned that from, either.

He doesn't know why his memory is so hazy. Why is he missing so many pieces?

It's only when he draws closer, past the big leaves and flowers towering over him that he sees it: a caterpillar sitting on a mushroom, smoking—singing, rather—the alphabet. The smoke forms the letters he speaks, though he stops as soon as soon as he notices Yunho, leaning in to examine the sight before him. Yunho can't help but mourn the familiarity of his song, his voice as familiar as the White Rabbits. "Who are you?"

As it stands, after that bottle he drank, Yunho is twice as small as the creature before him. He takes easily to one of the shorter mushrooms beside the larger one the caterpillars taken to. The smoke that curdles around them as the Caterpillar speaks has Yunho coughing into his shirt. "Well I…I hardly know anymore." The Caterpillar frowns so Yunho continues. "I've changed so many times, you see."

"I do not see." The Caterpillar huffs, puffing out pink smoke. "Explain yourself."

"I can't explain myself," Yunho watches the smoke wrap all around them, creating all sorts of peculiar shapes. it's magical, in a way, though the smell is less than inviting, like rotten fruit left out on a sunny day. "Because I'm not myself, you know?"

"I do not know."

Yunho huffs. "I can't put it any more clearly. It isn't clear to me either!"

"You?" The Caterpillar puffs into Yunho's face, inching closer. "Who are you?"

Yunho huffs, exasperated. "Shouldn't you tell me who you are first?"

"Why?"

Yunho doesn't have an answer for that, so he just sighs and settles back on the little mushroom with his head in his hands. "Everything's so confusing."

"It is not."

Yunho could strangle him. He would've stepped on him long ago if he was his original size. As it stands, he doesn't have the means. "Well, it is to me."

"Why?"

"I can't…I can't seem to remember a lot of things. Who I am. Who I used to be."

The Caterpillar hums, crouching to meet Yunho's gaze. His eyes are watchful when he asks, "Do you know your name?"

"Alice." He blinks. That doesn't sound quite right, though it's the first thing that pops into his mind. He tries again. "Yunho."

"Is it Alice or is it Yunho? Which is which?"

He has to think about that. The side that finds this place—these beings—unreasonable is not Alice. Alice is his counterpart. Alice belongs here, but he doesn't. A pause. "Yunho."

"Why is it Yunho and not Alice?"

The question irks him. It's important that he find the answer to it, but he just can't seem to remember. "Well, I haven't any idea."

The Caterpillar huffs, just as exasperated as Yunho. "Goodness! You'd think I'm asking you to solve Wonderlands greatest mystery."

Wonderland. That's what this place is called. Yunho is in Wonderland.

"How am I supposed to know the answer? Yunho feels more right than Alice does."

"Then there is your answer."

He scoffs. "So what is your name?"

The Caterpillar takes in another puff. "Jongho."

The reaction that name brings is immediate. Yunho startles where he sits, though he hasn't any idea why. In his minds eye he sees a round face and a kind smile and mischievous, knowing eyes, though it isn't in the form of the caterpillar before him. No, it's in the form of a human. One with a beautiful voice that sings oh so beautifully.

Yunho closes his eyes as he leans his head against the couch, listening to Left Eye's quiet murmur and the gentle strum of Hongjoongs guitar. Jongho sits beside him, quietly watching the rest of the members converse with the older man.

"If we don't make it out of this…" Jongho starts, barely audible.

Yunho's eyes snap open against his will. He doesn't let him finish that sentence. "We will."

Jongho turns to look at him. "But if we don't—if this is the last time we're all together I want you to know one thing." Yunho keeps quiet though he wants to argue. He can't stand the thought of losing any of them. He can't stand living a life without any of the others standing beside him. "I don't regret a single thing when it comes to singing and dancing with you guys. If I could do it all over again, I would. You're like my brother, Yunho. I am forever indebted to you."

Yunho had smiled, then, because Jongho was not one for skinship and kind words. He was seemingly more worried than he liked to let on. "Thank you," he replies. "For holding me in such high regard. Thank you for letting me take care of you, and for always being by my side." Jongho does not react when Yunho reaches for his hand. That in itself speaks volumes. "We're all very capable, and much stronger than we used to be. We'll be okay, Jongho. So stop worrying."

"Jongho," Yunho repeats, in awe of his discovery. He tastes the name on his tongue, sweet and familiar. "Jongho, I know you, though I haven't any idea how. I think we used to be…" He pauses. Thinks long and hard. Then gasps as a thought comes to him. Not brothers, in the traditional sense, but close enough. "Friends. He completes. Brothers."

He wonders if Jongho remembers, or if it's simply Yunho going mad with fear.

"Used to be?" Jongho blows various colors of smoke in his face. That word seems to give him a momentary pause and Yunho is left to wonder if he really does remember who Yunho is. "Are we not now?"

"I'm sure we are."

He hums, sad, far off look in his eye. "You've been good company, so I'll tell you what you want to know."

"How do you know what I want to know when you are not me?"

"But are you not yourself, are you?"

"Well, no—"

"If you are yourself and I am me, then I know what you want to know when I am not you." Yunho blinks, the Caterpillars words much too confusing. He goes on before Yunho has the chance to interrupt. "If you wish to grow bigger, have a taste of the mushroom."

"Mushroom? What mushroom?"

He points his finger to the mushroom Yunho is sitting on, a hint of a sly smile on his face as he takes in Yunho's bewildered expression.

Yunho takes a piece from off to the side, not sure of how much he's actually supposed to be ingesting. If it's anything like the cookie he had earlier it'd be best if he took very little.

He's just pressed his tongue to it when he grows three sizes taller, back to the height he used to be. The contrast is startling. He moves to thank the caterpillar but realizes that Jongho is no longer there and in his stead there is what looks to be a cocoon.

He's tall enough now that he could potentially murder the poor Caterpillar with a flick of his wrist so he decides to leave their conversation where it came to its natural end, whispering his thanks to the wind as he starts his walk down the path.

The Caterpillar is the first thing he's met in this peculiar place that has in part, given him a part of the answer he'd been searching for. At least now he knows that he is Yunho, and not Alice, though it feels as though he is both at the same time.

Chapter 3: Cheshire Cat

It's dark and dreary and it isn't until he steps foot inside the woods that he feels the air, thick with some unidentifiable smell that makes him uneasy. His eyes flit wildly about in search of the source but all he sees is the dark, tangled branches of the trees above.

"Lose something?"

Yunho practically jumps out of his skin, chasing the rustle of leaves and the sound of that familiar cackle until his eyes catch on something more than a little unusual. A smile. A smile without a face, on a branch not too far away from where he's standing. Before he can even think to ask, the smile is assembled into a head, with two glowing green eyes and—if Yunho looks closer—the body of a…cat?

"You're a…" Yunho doesn't know why a talking cat of all things is what disturbs him when he's met a thousand other things here that haven't felt quite right. "You're a cat."

"A Cheshire Cat." The voice corrects, humming a tune that sounds familiar.

Far too familiar. So familiar, in fact, that a question comes instantly to Yunho's mind, unbidden; something he simply must uncover in the next passing moment. "What is your name?"

The cat blinks, his smile impossibly wide. He twirls in the air, like he's floating, and looks at Yunho from where he's lying on his back. "Cheshire Cat," he says. "I just told you. Haven't you been listening?"

"No," Yunho doesn't know why he's pushing. Doesn't know what it is about the cat that he needs to uncover. "No, that isn't your name. That's what you are, not who you are."

"What is my name, then?"

"I don't know," he frowns. "I'm asking you."

The cat giggles before floating closer to Yunho, at level with his face. "What is your name, then?"

"Alice." His lips speak before his mind can even think about that question. He frowns at that too. "But that is not my name. It's who I am." The cats eyes are wide now, with surprise and mischief, like he hadn't quite expected the answer Yunho is giving him. Before he can think to reply Yunho adds, "Yunho. That is my name."

A blink. Then two. "You remember." He says, his smile is gone now and somehow that's what unsettles him. He's frowning too. "How is it that you remember? The others won't be happy about this."

"Others?" Yunho asks. "Who are the others? What's happening?"

He watches Yunho quietly for a moment, debating his next course of action. "All you remember is your name?"

Yunho nods. "I met the Caterpillar too. Jongho. I know him. I know I do, though my memory is vague."

Wooyoung pauses, then: "Listen and listen well, Yunho." He leans in impossibly close, enough for Yunho to see his quivering pupils. "We are stuck in another dimension. There are six others besides you and I—friends—some don't remember their names and some do. Your job is to ignore every single one of them and abide by the rules of this world."

"What are the rules?"

"Follow the story."

"What story?"

He sighs. "So many useless questions. Aren't you going to ask for my name?"

"But I already—"

"My name, Yunho."

The cat is more than a little irritating but what choice does Yunho have but to listen? "What is your name, Cheshire?"

The cat grins wider, his row of sharp teeth big enough to take over his entire face. "Wooyoung." He says, then he's gone in the next second.

Wooyoung. Wooyoung.

He remembers Wooyoung, with his memorable laughter and his mischievous nature. He remembers Wooyoungs kindness and his face, his figure. Wooyoung isn't a cat. He shouldn't be a cat. Yunho remembers their base, with all its computers and holograms. He remembers making something. Some device, gone wrong. He remembers singing and dancing and he feels the absence of six others. Feels it in his very bones, like a gnawing ache that won't go away, begging for everything to go back to how it used to be.

"Don't worry," Yunho remembers saying to him. He puts down his pencil, momentarily ignoring their drawn up plans. "San can take care of himself."

Wooyoung scowls, face twisted in a pained grimace though his focus is supposedly on the object he's tinkering with. Their newest invention. "I don't care what he does." He hisses, twisting the screwdriver into the device with so much force Yunho fears it'll break. "He can die, for all I care."

"You don't mean that." Yunho says, too quietly, and yet, he's sure Wooyoung hears.

"If he's so keen on being a martyr, then there is nothing we can do to stop him."

"But could you really just stand by and watch him die?" Maybe it's too personal of a question but Yunho can't help himself. He knows Wooyoung. He knows San. They depend on each other an unhealthy amount. "Could you live, waking up every morning knowing that you wouldn't ever see him again?"

That gives Wooyoung pause and when he looks up Yunho finds his eyes glassy with unshed tears. "You're being mean."

"I'm being realistic."

Because even if Wooyoung doesn't say the words aloud, the answer is quite frankly very obvious.

"Could you?" Wooyoung snaps back.

"Could I what?"

"Live without Mingi."

His heart hurts just considering the thought. "Of course not."

"Where am I supposed to go?" Yunho shouts into the abysmal darkness, panic seizing his heart at the thought of having lost his one and only clue, the only person here who might make just a bit of sense. Wooyoung has disappeared, in the time it took for the flash of images to suddenly invade his senses.

"That depends on where you want to go!" Wooyoung cackles, his voice an echo all around, though his shape is nowhere to be seen. Neither that smile nor that striped body.

"It doesn't matter. You're the one who told me to find—"

"Then it really doesn't matter which way you go."

"What? Then can you at least tell me—"

Wooyoung appears in front of his face. It startles a gasp out of Yunho and a jump in the beat of his heart. "If you're looking for the White Rabbit," he says, "he went that way."

He points right. Then left.

"Which way?"

He points behind him.

"Are you messing with me?"

His grin never wavers. "I don't actually know where the White Rabbit is. He's a very busy man, paving the path for you, though I believe you're next stop is…the Mad Hatter! I'm sure he'll know where the rabbit went."

"So where is the Mad Hatter?"

He points behind Yunho, where a sign appears instantaneously. A sign with an arrow and the words The Mad Hatters Tea Party written in messy cursive.

Yunho scoffs. "Of course."

"You best be on your way."

"But what if I don't want to be among mad people?"

Cheshires grin is wild and untamed when he replies, "my dear, we're all mad here."

"Even you?"

And though the cat is out of sight once more, Yunho still hears the echo if his cackling laughter when he replies, "even I."

Notes:

did you all notice that in the original alice in wonderland cartoon the cheshire cat had yellow eyes? in the tim burton version he has blue eyes. and wooyoung? because he did that photoshoot with that one black cat for GQ I gave him green eyes like the cat he did the shoot with (also green just felt right for him idk)

Chapter 4: Mad Hatter, March Hare, and Dormouse

Yunho doesn't know which sign he's supposed to follow. Up points down and west points east and the sign pointing to the Mad Hatters Tea Party leads to nowhere in particular. Yunho is well and truly lost.

That is, until, he hears singing. It's off key and wrong but occasionally, there's a note or melody that strums the beat of his heart, playing with the gentle chords of his soul and settling gently inside him, like a small bird with wounded wings.

Yunho follows the sound of the voices, peeking past the trees to find a dining table, strewn wildly in the middle of the forest. There's eight chairs, six of which are empty. The table is clattered too, with teapots and kettles that sing along and harmonize with the song that he already seems to know the lyrics to, despite having never heard it at all.

We're still young and wild

We're gonna find a new world to be mine

The island that the map calls is soon

The dream and fear of all

Dreaming at the end, spreading wings

Forever naive like Peter

At the head of the table sits a man and beside him, on the left, a rabbit. But this isn't the White Rabbit he's looking for, no, this one is brown with twitchy ears, his gaze wild and crazed. They both sing together, pouring boiling tea all over themselves and the already dirtied tablecloth without any care for the mess they're making or the harm their causing to themselves. Yunho doesn't even think they notice.

Even if it explodes

it doesn't matter to me

Right now this place is

The beginning of the end

As the chorus draws to a close, they meet his eyes and continue to sing, uncaring of their audience. They pull out a little mouse from one of the many kettles in front of them who smiles sheepishly af the rest of them, staring blankly ahead with a satiated, tired smile.

Yunho can't help but smile back, and it's only then when the song comes to a close that he claps his hands, having taken to sitting at the head of the table across from who he assumes to be the Mad Hatter. He has a hat, after all, and looks by far the craziest of the bunch.

His suspicions are confirmed when the March Hare and the Hatter take note of his appearance, immediately rushing to his side.

"No room, no room!" They shout in unison. "We don't have any room!"

Yunho looks around at the empty chairs. "But there looks to be plenty of room."

"It's very rude to sit without being invited." The hare scolds.

"Very rude," the Mad Hatter agrees with a pointed glare. Familiar eyes weighed down by the dark circles beneath them but even that doesn't seem out of the ordinary. "Very rude indeed."

The Dormouse pokes his head from out of a kettle and repeats, "Very rude, very rude indeed." In a quiet voice, deeper than Yunho would expect, before disappearing back into the kettle.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Yunho replies. "But I did enjoy your singing and I was wondering if you could tell me—"

"You enjoyed our singing?" The March Hare leans in close, with stars in his eyes. It's almost like Yunho's earlier transgression is forgotten with those words alone.

"Oh, how delightful!" The Hatter claps his hands, accidentally spilling a cup of tea all over the table without batting an eye, grinning from ear to ear. His reminds Yunho of something he can't quite place. He's grasping at straws, trying his best to remember. Wooyoungs words from earlier come back to haunt him.

These must be some of the men he was friends with in the other dimension. He wants so desperately to remember, certain that if he does, so will his so-called friends and for whatever reason the thought of them remembering is reassuring. It makes him feel less alone, in the grand scheme of things.

"I'm so excited," the Hatter continues. "We never get compliments!" Yunho wonders why that is, with how beautiful they sing. Maybe because there isn't anyone else here, but the three of them. "You must have a cup of tea. You must."

"Yes, indeed!" The Hare agrees. "You simply must have a cup of tea."

"That would be very nice," Yunho hadn't realized he'd been working up an appetite until right that moment, though he supposes there are more important things to worry about than food. "I'm sorry I interrupted your tea party." He accepts the cup the Hare hands him, enticed by the smell though it's still too hot to drink.

"Oh, don't even worry about that! Your praise more than makes up for it." The Hatter replies, settling into the set on Yunho's other side. he dips his plate into his cup, like a cookie, and licks the tea off like a madman. Yunho blinks. "Now, you were saying my dear? How did you even end up here?"

"Well I—" he pauses as he watches the Hatter pour enough sugar into his tea until there is a mountain in his cup, protruding from the top. "It all started when I—actually, I don't remember what I was doing when this all started but I woke up in a room."

"A room?"

"A very empty room, with nothing more than a little door and a talking door knob."

The March Hare and the Mad Hatter blink before bursting out in laughter. They turn to each other, uncaring of Yunho's presence between them. "Goodness me! A talking door knob?"

"Are you mad, child?"

Yunho glares. How utterly hypocritical of the two to be calling him such words. "Why I'll have you know—we're all most likely around the same age. And I hardly think any of you have any right to call me mad when you're the craziest ones here!"

"I beg your finest pardon!?" The Hatter bellows, brows furrowed in rage. "What did you just call me?"

Grave mistake. Grave mistake.

"Do continue," the March Hare interrupts the Hatter with a frown. "I want to hear more about this door knob."

Yunho sighs, moving quickly away from the topic. "Yes, well, anyway. I ate some things and grew small and big and now I'm looking for—"

"Would you like a cup of tea?" The Dormouse interrupts, though Yunho's tea still sits untouched in front of him.

"No thank you, I just wanted to ask if you've seen—"

"Why is a raven like a writing desk?" The Mad Hatter interrupts, cocking his head curiously to the side.

"A riddle?" Yunho frowns, trying to keep his rising impatience at bay. "Let me think. Why is a raven like a writing desk?"

"I beg your pardon!?" The Mad Hatter squeaks once more, this time with fear and something akin to shock.

"Why is a raven like a writing desk?"

"Why is a what?"

The March Hare gasps, immediately latching onto the Hatter. "Careful! He's gone mad! What kind of question is that?"

"He's been mad!" The Hatter says in reply, about to argue some more when Yunho interrupts.

"No but that's—" Yunho's barely gotten out of his chair when the two rear back like they've been slapped. "that's your silly riddle I never—"

"Careful now!" The Hatter says, holding a chair in front of him to keep Yunho from coming any closer. "Don't get excited."

"How about a cup of tea?" The Hare tries, an attempt to get Yunho to quell his quickly rising anger.

Yunho lets out a noise of frustration. "That's it! No, thank you. I can't do this anymore, I just haven't the time!"

"The time?" He hears a voice and it's nothing at all like the three he's been talking to this entire time so he freezes, immediately spinning on his heels to look for the source of the sound.

His gaze falls to the White Rabbit, walking quickly by. He's much smaller than the March Hare, with a clock in his hands and a worried expression screwing up his face. "No, no, no. We haven't got the time. There's no time. I have no time!" He seems to notice Yunho, and without coming to a pause he waves, quickly passing them by. "Hello, goodbye, I'm late. I'm late!"

He's weaving through the cups and kettles when the Hatter reaches for the pocket watch in the rabbits hand, immediately causing him to draw to a stop. "Give that back." The rabbit says, face pale with horror. "Hongjoong, please. I don't have time for this."

The Hatter—Hongjoong, apparently—frowns. "Who?"

For a split second, Yunho thinks he sees a pained expression on the White Rabbits face before it's gone completely, like it was never there to begin with; a mirage quickly noticed and forgotten.

Yunho frowns. That name, too, is familiar.

The White Rabbit scowls. "Hongjoong, Hatter. That is your name."

"My name is Hongjoong Hatter?"

"No, you utter buffoon—"

"How utterly rude to call someone you barely even know a name such as that!"

The White Rabbit scowls. "It doesn't matter what your name is. Not now. Give me that watch or we're all dead."

"Dead? Why are we dead?" The Dormouse pokes his head out of a different teapot this time, frowning. "Why would we be dead?"

Hongjoong scoffs, looking down at the watch with a curious expression. It seems like he couldn't care less about the White Rabbits mad ramblings. "It's no wonder you're always late," he mutters, flipping the watch open so the mechanisms are showing. "The clock is exactly two days slow."

The White Rabbit pales. "Two days slow? Two days?"

Hongjoong starts poking at the gears, the sight of which reminds Yunho of something very very important. A watch. No, not a watch. A circular thing. Some otherworldly object he himself had helped create. That was the reason they were all here. That's right, they were using it to accomplish a mission of sorts.

He grabs the watch from Hongjoong before he can disrupt any of the parts, quickly tweaking the gears with a fork. He doesn't listen to the others protests, calling him crazy and rude, and hands it over to the White Rabbit as soon as its fixed. "Here you go."

The White Rabbit looks curiously at him. "You remembered." He says, awed. "You remembered how to tinker. To build."

"Some things are not easily forgotten."

He looks sad—pitying. "I cannot thank you enough. Though it might not make any sense right now, I think you just bought us all two days." He's right. That makes absolutely no sense at all, but before he can even begin to ask the rabbit says: "I will give you my name, as thanks." He smiles, small and sad like he knows what fate awaits them and is none too happy about it. "Seonghwa. My name is Park Seonghwa."

He remembers Seonghwa. He remembers Seonghwa's kind words and the way he was always there for the others.

He remembers how he sought the man out one painful night when Mingi's cold shoulder had made the nightmares haunting Yunho's dreams even worse.

He never had to worry about finding Seonghwa or Hongjoong asleep so early in the morning. Much like Yunho, the two eldest had trouble sleeping most nights and opted instead to work; taking naps during the day to keep sane all the while.

So Yunho doesn't hesitate to knock on Seonghwa's door, a sheepish smile on his face. When the man pries it open, Yunho's met with the sight of his white pajamas, matching the white shade of his hair perfectly. Yunho can't hold back a smile at the sight of his bunny slippers, staring cutely up at them. Despite the late hour—despite, even, the dark circles under his eyes—Seonghwa looks ready to walk the runway.

"What are you looking at?" He scowls, and that's what really makes Yunho break out into laughter, though he tries to hold back for fear of waking the others.

"Sorry I just—the bunny slippers are throwing me off."

Seonghwa huffs, opening the door wider to let Yunho in. "Be nice," he says, closing the door once Yunho is inside. "They were a gift."

"From who? The Easter Bunny?"

"From Hongjoong."

Silence. Then, Yunho bursts into laughter once more. This was so unpredictably predictable of Hongjoong.

"Are you just here just to make fun of me or do you have something important to say?"

Yunho's laughter dies down and immediately, Yunho remembers why he's here. "I did something bad." He starts, forcing his gaze away. "And Mingi hates me for it."

Seonghwa's gaze softens, sympathizing immediately. "He doesn't hate you."

"He won't talk to me. He won't—" Yunho grits his teeth. "It's been months, Seonghwa. I can't sleep. I can't eat. He's acting like—like—!"

"Like you're invisible?"

"I feel like I'm going crazy." Yunho huffs, sitting down at the edge of Seonghwa's bed. "I just don't know what to do. I just want everything to go back to the way it was."

"Have you apologized?"

"I have."

A pause. "It must have been bad, if he still hasn't forgiven you."

And Seonghwa—he doesn't know. If Yunho tells him what happened between them, he's going behind Hongjoongs back; making more enemies of his friends than he needs to. Still, he can't just keep quiet about this. He spoke with Hongjoong but the Captain is useless where any manner of emotion is involved. The advice he gave to Yunho was: just ignore the problem and it will fix itself.

Yunho tried that and he hasn't had a proper conversation with Mingi in months.

"I lied to him, Seonghwa." Eventually, that is what he settles on. "I went behind his back and I lied to him and when he found out—"

"Yunho," Seonghwa sits beside him, a comforting hand placed on his shoulder to keep him grounded. "I'm sure your intentions weren't twisted. That's all that matters. Talk to him. Tell him how you feel. If he doesn't come around, give him time." A pause. "He cares about you. A lot. More than you could ever imagine. If he didn't he wouldn't even be angry in the first place; he'd be indifferent."

Yunho's breath leaves his lungs at the striking memory. He remembers where he is just as Seonghwa points to the Hatter, Hare, and Dormouse in quick succession. "That's Hongjoong. That's San. Choi San, like Jongho. Choi Jongho, though they aren't related at all. And this is Yeosang. You needn't worry about him, the Caterpillar is on his way to him as we speak."

That's right, he remembers how much closer Yeosang and Jongho were to each other than they were to any of the others. It would make sense for Jongho to come to Yeosangs aid, the way it makes sense for Yunho to come to Mingi's.

"I don't understand." Yunho whispers, so quiet he himself can barely hear it.

Seonghwa's eyes are soft when he says: "Follow the story, Yunho. Do not worry about the others. Wooyoung, Jongho, and I will handle it."

"What about Mingi?"

Seonghwa stills at Yunho's words. "How do you know that name?"

"I—I remember. Just a little bit, but enough."

His expression is blank. It gives no hints as to what he's feeling; whether or not Yunho's memory of his friend is a good or bad thing. It's his words that reveal how displeased he is by Yunho's memory of Mingi, though he is a vague shadow of doubt, claiming the darkest depths of Yunho's mind. "Stay away from him, Yunho." The rabbits words are cold. Rushed. "Stay as far away from that man as you can."

That makes even less sense to Yunho but before he can ask anymore questions the White Rabbit dissappears, leaving a trail of footsteps behind. Yunho is too stunned to move immediately, snapped out of his daze once Hongjoong, San, and Yeosang burst into song once more.

He has to leave. To find the Seonghwa. To find Wooyoung. To find Jongho. To find Mingi. To save himself. He doesn't know how, but he must leave Wonderland.

Notes:

i couldn't write a fic based on alice in wonderland and not include wonderland by ateez somehow (thats the english translation of part of the lyrics the hatter and the others were singing)

Chapter 5: White Rabbit

Yunho wanders the forest aimlessly, following whatever path as it slowly appears. He's angry. He's sad. More than anything, he wants to go home, though he hasn't any idea where home is. He wants to sing and dance with the others again. He wants this nonsense to stop.

Who cares about the rabbit or the cheshire or any of the others? Yunho certainly doesn't. He's sick of them all. He'll find a way back from whence he came. He will.

He keeps walking. In his fit of anger and sorrow Yunho doesn't notice that the light has dimmed. The forest is no longer a lush green and filled with life, no—now it's dark. Dark branches extend towards the sky like skeletons, the smell of mold and rot overwhelming where it hits his nose.

He feels eyes on his back and keeps going—sees yellow and red irises in the deepest shadows but he doesn't stop. No, he can't stop until he's out of here. The low grumble of a beast. The whispering crickets. There are no birds here, nothing that chirps, except for ravens that sing with ill intent. It sounds like a death sentence.

He crosses a murky pond, jumping the stones. He ignores the eyes that look at him from beneath the water. He ignores the peculiar frogs sitting impossibly still on the tattered lily pads, croaking awkwardly when he gets too close. They don't scurry away when they see him like most animals should. No, they aren't afraid.

But Yunho—Yunho is afraid.

He spots vultures in the sky and wills the jumble of knots in his stomach to untangle but to no avail. Anxiety creeps up on him, worse than any foe. His breath comes in short bursts and fear rattles his bones so when he spots a little clearing and a fallen log not too far from where he's standing, he takes to sitting on it and forces the air into his lungs.

Breathe. He tells himself. No one will hurt you. There's no one here.

There's no one here to help him if he trips and falls and hits his head. There is no one to treat his wounds if some awful thing decides to attack him, out in the middle of the forest. There's no one here but the menacing creatures of the dark forest, waiting to pounce at the first sign of weakness.

He doesn't try to stop the tears when they come. There's no one to see them fall anyway. He cries into his sleeve as the moon shines high above his head, a crescent that floats in the wind like a lost feather, dropping slowly lower. Low enough to settle on a daunting branch.

Yunho's head snaps up at the sound of a gentle voice, singing a song he knows by heart, though he can't fathom where he's heard it before.

That part of me that never left

Has much to see, no regrets

What you're meant to be, don't have to be

You never know what's around the bend

The Cheshire grins, his smile a carbon copy of the crescent moon above. He looks down at Yunho from where he's settled comfortably on a branch. He sings the rest of the lyrics in accordance and it's only then that Yunho notices the creatures of the forest, staring curiously at him. Not with menacing glares like he presumed—no, but with curiosity and awe.

So I leave for the wide plains

Leaving the endless road behind

When night falls, the anxiety comes

It's a taste that's hard to bear

I swallow hard, tears start to flow

A downpour in my blurry eyes

One more day to hold on, just one more

Hoping to reach that place someday

Wooyoungs smile brightens as the song comes to a gentle close. "My dear, why must you cry?"

"I want to go home." He says, wiping at his eyes. "But I can't find my way."

"Naturally," he drawls, though there is a certain sort of softness that bleeds into his tone that quiets Yunho's trembling heart. "That's because you have no way." Yunho blinks up at him. "All ways here, you see, are the Queen's ways."

"But I haven't met any queen."

"You haven't?" A pause. "Oh, but I promise you have. And now you must meet him again, as the story decided."

Yunho blinks. "Him?"

"Peculiar, isn't it? How some things never change."

Yunho frowns. "I don't understand."

Cheshire ignores him, sitting up on his branch with an elegance that makes him look as though he is floating and even though he is capable, Yunho knows he isn't. He's come to learn all the Cheshires tricks by now. "Oh, he'll be mad about you. Simply mad!"

He cackles, slowly disappearing into thin air once more. "No, wait—how do I find him?"

He appears again with mischief. "Well, some go this way." He points to the right. "And some go that way." He points to the left. "As for me, I prefer the shortcut."

Yunho doesn't understand what the hell he's trying to say until he pushes down on a smaller twig attached to the branch and an open portal displaying a castle appears in the bark of the tree below him.

"Oh," Yunho mumbles, and with one final glance at the Cheshires knowing grin he steps foot inside, poking his head through and arriving inside a maze, made of shrubs and bushes taller than himself. It's morning here, he realizes. Maybe it's some other time. Some other day. He doesn't quite understand it.

Yunho weaves through the maze hurriedly in search of an exit. He doesn't find it. Not for a while. Where he is, the place seems to stretch on forever.

Then he hears it. Singing. This time, it's not a song he knows or voices he's familiar with. No, whoever it is, they're singing about roses. About painting them red.

Yunho follows the sound, eventually finding the culprits. They're card soldiers, he realizes, painting white roses red, leaving a mess all over the green grass beneath. The paint pools like blood at their feet, splattered every which way.

Their buckets drip paint as they walk to the next bush, paintbrushes in hand. Yunho watches quietly from the sidelines, fascinated. That is, until his curiosity gets the best of him. That always seems to get him in some sort of trouble, doesn't it? You'd think he'd have learned his lesson by now.

"Pardon me, sir," he glances down at the suit of the car soldier. The three of clubs. "Mr. Three, sir, why must you paint them red?"

All three soldiers turn to look at him, all of whom Yunho belatedly realizes bare the symbol of a club. "Huh?" They say in unison. "Oh!"

"Well, you see—" says the Three of Clubs, "we planted the white roses by mistake, and…"

"The Queen," completes the other. "He likes them red!"

"If he saw them white instead," continues the third card soldier, "he'd raise a fuss and each of us would quickly lose his head!"

"Goodness." Yunho mutters. This Queen sounds like quite the character.

"Since this is the thought we dread, we're painting the roses red."

"Let me help you, then." He offers, because he doesn't want to see anyone die. Especially not if he's capable of putting a stop to it.

They glance gratefully at him before bursting into song once more, with Yunho joining them. He paints with fervor, tongue jutting out in concentration. He's having a grand old time too, that is, until the horns sound and the soldiers freeze where they stand, caught red handed with their brushes in hand.

In their panic, they make a mess of the paint, knocking over buckets and splattering red everywhere, not that there wasn't a mess before but it's even worse now. They can't even attempt to hide the evidence.

"The Queen!" One squeaks. "The Queen!"

He spots the card soldiers as soon as they peak out of the shrubberies. Red suits. Hearts. The card soldiers are all hearts.

"Cards, halt." He hears a low voice, deep and grounding and he freezes where he stands, breath caught in his throat because that voice—he knows it. He knows it better than any other. It feels like home.

The cards obey and shuffle into formation, forming a heart around them. They move uniformly away to clear a path and as soon as a trumpet sounds, out comes the White Rabbit from behind them, playing his instrument with fearful eyes that widen at the sight of Yunho, knelt on the grass. He runs through the path the card soldiers created for him, out of breath as he says, "His imperial highness!" A gasp, as he pants. "His grace! His excellency!" Another gasp as Seonghwa tries to regulate his breathing. "His royal majesty, the Queen of Hearts!"

Yunho's heart climbs to his throat when the supposed queen steps up to the path, in a red suit and tailcoat that displays that four card suits, dawned in red and black with dark eyes lined black that bear into his very soul. There is a crown on his head, golden and stout and not at all fitting for a man as tall as him to have. No, Mingi deserves something bigger. Something better.

Mingi, because he knows the man that stares at him now. He knows, even without being told who this is by any of the others. Even without being told his name, Yunho would recognize him anywhere; even in that ridiculous getup that makes him look absolutely ravishing.

The sight of him steals the breath from Yunho's lungs and a memory of their time spent in some other world crashes over him—drowning him under the pressure of the waves.

"You killed him!" Mingi screams, grabbing the lapels of Yunho's shirt. There are tears in his eyes if he looks too deeply into them. He doesn't, avoiding Mingi's gaze like the plague. "You asshole—you fucking killed him and you lied to me about it!"

Mingi's voice cracks and Yunho grimaces. He never meant to hurt Mingi. He never meant to go against his wishes but he had no choice. "I did it for your own good." Yunho whispers, but it's a half-assed excuse that sounds pathetic, even to his own ears.

"Bullshit!" Mingi pushes him back until his back slams against the wall, uncaring of the pain that causes Yunho as a result. Physical and otherwise, though it pales in comparison to the way Mingi is looking at him, brown eyes furrowed with deep sated anger and hate.

"He was a traitor." Yunho hisses.

"He was just a child." Mingi spits back. "He didn't deserve to be killed!"

It wasn't like Yunho made the decision on his own. After they found out the boy whose brother they awakened was giving intel to Z and the Guardians, they had no choice but to keep him under lock and key as they dealt with the damage he'd caused singlehandedly.

Mingi proposed they give him a second chance, after a while. Many of the others agreed, Yunho among them. He was just a kid, after all, and their only options were to keep him locked away in the basement or get rid of him. Yunho would have proposed they dispose of him if he knew the boy would try to kill Mingi in his sleep.

After they caught the boy a second time, Hongjoong had asked Yunho if he felt comfortable taking the child's life and Yunho hadn't thought twice before he'd pulled the trigger.

"He tried to kill you." Yunho reasons, desperately trying to get Mingi to understand. "You can't have seriously expected us to let him go without consequence!"

"I didn't expect you to go behind my back and do exactly the opposite of what I told you to do—and for you to lie straight to my face—!"

"Because I knew you'd react this way!" Yunho snaps, grabbing Mingi's wrists where he's still gripping his collar. He doesn't force them away but he doesn't have to. Mingi pulls his hands back almost instantly, like Yunho's touch burns.

"I didn't realize I'd fallen for a murderer."

It was the first time they ever talked about it, this thing between them. They never put a label it, though they were always more than friends and less than lovers. They were in limbo, as Mingi liked to call it, and for him to admit to being in love right then—it goes over Yunho's head until much later when he plays back their conversation in his head, again and again and again, like a broken record.

The reason he doesn't notice it until later is because he is far too focused on ghat word, murderer, to even fully grasp what's been said. He doesn't like that word at all; hates that it's Mingi who's calling him that, like he's some uncontrollable villain committing irreversible crimes—committing murder when they both knew that boy deserved it. There was nothing that could save him after what he did and his lip curls in distaste as the anger licks up his spine.

His next words come unbidden and it isn't until later that he regrets them. "Better a murderer than a coward."

Yunho doesn't expect the slap when it comes and when his head whips to the side and his face throbs with a stinging pain the only thing on his mind is the picture of Mingi's face, twisted into one of rage and disbelief.

Yunho is frozen stiff, unable to move even as Mingi turns on his heel and slams the door closed behind him.

The card soldiers cheer and clap and Mingi looks at them all with a bored expression, like they're not even worth his time. That is, until his eyes catch on something behind Yunho. A white rose, only partially painted red.

He frowns, gliding elegantly past them to examine the thing closer, offering the red grass barely a glance as he reaches for the delicate flower, gently grazing his hand against the dripping paint. It comes away red.

"Who's been painting my roses red?" Mingi's voice rings out, firm and cold. It sends chills down Yunho's spine, in spite of the mans familiarity. In spite of his warmth and all the years they spent, fighting alongside each other. "For painting my roses red," he mumbles, and it's so silent his voice echoes. "Someone will lose their head."

"No, your majesty!" The three of clubs pipes up, pleadingly, pointing at the two of clubs. "It's all his fault!"

"Not me, Your Grace! The Ace!"

"You?" Mingi drawls, standing in front of them.

"No!" The Ace squeaks, pointing to his comrades. "The Two!"

Mingi frowns. "Deuce, you say?"

"Not me, the Trey!"

He scoffs. "That's enough!" Everyone holds their breaths and really, Yunho should've seen this coming. The cards warned him. Wooyoung warned him. Even Seonghwa warned him, though he never said a word of Mingi's role in this godforsaken story. Hell, even Mingi's stone cold expression should've been warning enough but Yunho just can't come to terms with the fact that Mingi—his Mingi—would ever do something as cruel as— "Off with their heads!"

Yunho looks away as they drag the clubs away, staring instead at the grass and his hands, now soiled an aweful red. "Please," Yunho whispers, uncertain if he should speak. Mingi's gaze snaps to his immediately and it should scare him, the way he's looking at Yunho like he's going to swallow him whole but it doesn't. No, it gives him the courage he needs to keep speaking. Because that look in his eyes can only mean one thing: that Mingi recognizes Yunho even without being told of his name, the same way Yunho recognizes him. "They were only trying to—"

"And who do you think you are?"

Yunho's blood freezes in his veins.

The White Rabbit comes to his rescue. "It doesn't seem to be a card soldier, sir." He points the tip of his trumpet at Yunho's face, turning his face gently to the side. He's pretending they don't know each other. Why? Why would he do such a thing? "A boy." His voice cracks, the first sign of weakness in his otherwise calm exterior. "He's just a boy."

Mingi frowns. "Where do you come from, boy?" he spits the word like it's a personal insult to him. "And where are you going?"

"My name is Yunho." A look of recognition passes over Mingi's face and it gives feathers to the thing beating thing in his heart, fluttering around in his chest. It lights his skin on fire from the inside. "Jeong Yunho."

Mingi doesn't seem surprised by the admission. "Not Alice?"

Yunho pauses. "No, not Alice."

A sneer curls the corner of his lips and Yunho has to physically keep himself from letting out a grimace at the sight—at the realization that so cruel a look is directed at him. "A shame. I like Alice better."

"Mingi—"

"That's the Queen of Hearts to you." His eyes are cold. Deadly. Yunho forces his gaze away. Once the quiet settles over them again he says, "You didn't answer my question, boy. Where do you come from and where are you going?"

"I'm trying to find my way home."

Mingi pauses. "Your way? yours?" He scoffs, and Yunho squares his shoulders so he doesn't shrink into himself like he's been so prone to doing during his time here. "All ways here are my ways."

"Yes, I know, but I was just asking—"

"Only I ask the questions here." Mingi turns on his heels and the cards part for him, like the red sea. "Do you play croquet?"

The question catches Yunho off guard. He pauses. Frowns. This has to be a test. If only Yunho knew what the right answer was. "Yes, your majesty."

A lie.

Wrong answer, seemingly, because the look on Mingi's face hardens. "A liar, through and through." He spits, turning to the card soldiers gathered all around. "Let the games begin."

As soon as the words are out of his mouth, the cards rush to assemble to their instructed positions. In seconds, the field is readied for croquet, with the card soldiers bending over backwards——going out of their way to allow the queens ball to pass through.

"You remember me," Yunho starts, lowering his voice. He isn't sure what the rules of this world are but he doubts alerting anyone that they don't belong is the smartest move. "I know you do, so why are you acting like this?"

"Acting like what?" Mingi mutters, hitting the ball with the mallet in his hand with so much force that Yunho wonders if he's pretending the ball is Yunho's head when he swings.

"Like that." Yunho replies, readying himself as one of the card soldiers brings the ball back. If Yunho looks at it for too long he'll see that it's not a ball at all, but a furry little thing curled into itself. He grimaces when his hands come into contact with it's trembling fur, trying to get himself to focus on the task at hand. "Like you're still angry even after all this. Even—"

"At the end of the world?" Mingi completes, urging Yunho to play the game with a pointed finger. When Yunho plays, the cards go out of their way to make sure his ball misses. It makes his blood boil. "I told you, didn't I? I wouldn't forgive you even if the world ended. I won't forgive you even now. You haven't earned it."

Yunho pauses. "Has the world ended?" Mingi freezes. He freezes like a man who has something to hide. "Is that what this is?"

Because no matter how much Yunho tries to pretend like this is normal——no matter how much that part of him tries to convince him of his belonging in this world, Yunho knows. Even without knowing the full story, he knows that this isn't the real world.

Mingi stays quiet, readying himself to take another shot at the ball. "Not quite."

"You know what's going on." Yunho realizes. "You know and you won't tell me. Why?"

During the second round, the queens ball runs just a little out of bounds. To the point where the last soldier has to chase the ball to get it to go through this makeshift "hoop." Everyone watches, frozen in place, as the soldier trips and falls and fails to get the queens ball through.

Mingi's lip curls into a sneer, either because of the loss or because of Yunho's words. "Remember how you lied to me, Yunho?" His smile is twisted when he asks. "To protect me?"

Yunho does. He doesn't regret his decision, not even now, when it's cost him so much. "I wasn't—"

Mingi whips around to face him. "That's what I'm doing. Lying to you, for your own sake." He doesn't even look at the card soldier that failed to get his ball through as he brings the ball back over to them, declaring: "off with his head." The other soldiers take him away without another word and Mingi continues their conversation like it hadn't been interrupted in the first place. "You'd do well to listen and remain blissfully ignorant."

"Then why is it that some of the others want me to remember?"

Mingi's lip curls up unpleasantly. He's been making that face a lot lately. One that bleeds disgust and irritation. Yunho hates it. He hates that when Mingi replies, it isn't to provide him with an answer. "Your turn."

He's playing a losing game but that doesn't matter. None of this does. He couldn't care less about the game. "It has to do with that device Wooyoung and I designed, doesn't it? Did it backfire?" He leans forward, copying Mingi's form. He moves his wrists for just enough momentum and when he shoots, its too fast to stop. Still, the card soldiers move out of the way (only barely) and it's yet another loss, though he'd put all his power and rage into that single swing. "Are we in an alternate dimension? A book? Or is this all nothing more than a dream?"

They're interrupted before Mingi can answer him, though Yunho doubts he would've provided an honest answer anyway. When Mingi turns, there is a striped tail at his back waving elegantly in the wind. When Yunho blinks, the Cheshires smile appears, then the rest of him, right in the air between them. "Come now, Mingi." His grin only widens at the scowl Mingi sends his way. "You can't keep it a secret forever."

Mingi scowls."You're a sick son of bitch."

Wooyoung laughs, unphased by the bitter way Mingi spits the words. "It comes with the character." He levels Yunho with a look. "The reason Mingi here doesn't want you to know a single thing, dearest, is because once you find out, you're as good as dead."

"How?" Yunho asks, desperate for answers. "How is that possible?"

"Play the game." Mingi demands, sending Wooyoung a glare.

"Better question is," Wooyoung starts, just as Yunho gets into position once more. "Why am I trying to get you to remember when Mingi has been trying so hard to keep you ignorant?"

When Yunho swings, it goes completely off to the side. It's his worst shot yet but Yunho doesn't care. His head snaps up at the implication. "Are you trying to kill me?"

"Not quite."

"Wooyoung." Mingi grits out, patience wearing thin. "I'm warning you both, if I lose my temper, you both lose your heads."

"Ah, but at the end of this book, Cheshire remains unharmed. The same can't be said for Alice now, can it?" There is a challenge in Wooyoungs tone. In his words, and the way he holds himself. A challenge that—despite his standing—Mingi backs off of.

"So we are stuck in a story?"

Wooyoung hums. "Not exactly."

"I did warn you." Mingi glowers at the two of them. "Off with their——"

Wooyoung disappears into thin air before Mingi can so much as finish that sentence, leaving Yunho to deal with the brunt of the Queens punishment

"Ah, but sire!" The rabbit interrupts, face pale with horror though he tries to keep the worst of his worries from showing on his face. Yunho doesn't think he's entirely too successful. "But consider this——should he not have a trial first?"

Mingi turns his glare to the little White Rabbit at his feet, who goes stock still at the sight of his gaze. "Trial?"

"Just a little trial. Nothing too big."

The queen looks as if he wants to protest but he doesn't. No, his face falls back into that practiced mask of stone. "Very well, then. A trial you want, a trial you shall get." He raises a hand, snaps his fingers together, and almost instantly the soldiers stand to attention. "Let the trial begin."

Notes:

lyrics from this house ain't a home by ateez

Chapter 6: Queen of Hearts

They don't take him to jail. No, no one wastes a single moment. Yunho blinks and he's being dragged to the throne room, made into a makeshift court of sorts with the jury on the left and the queen on his throne, acting as the judge. The White Rabbit bows his head in greeting to both, addressing them all when he says: "The prisoner at the bar is charged with enticing His Majesty, the Queen of Hearts into a game of croquet and thereby willfully—"

"But—" The guards snap their weapons in front of Yunho's face to keep him from interrupting.

"—and with malice and forethought, teasing, tormenting, and otherwise annoying our beloved—"

"Nevermind all that!" Mingi interrupts, lounging where he sits on his throne with a bored look on his face. "Get to the part where I lose my temper."

Seonghwa skims the paper in his hands, doing as he's told. "Thereby causing the Queen to lose his temper."

Mingi smiles, and it's a slow, sadistic crawl of thing that—if it were not directed at him—Yunho might've appreciated the beauty of. "Now," he starts. "Are you ready for my ruling?"

"Ruling?" Yunho swallows against the fear lodged into his throat. "But there must be a verdict first."

"Sentence first." Mingi easily replies. "Verdict afterwards."

Screw this place and its messed up rules. "But that just isn't the way—"

Mingi slams a fist on the arm of his chair, producing a harsh sound that leaves the room frozen stiff. "All ways are…?"

"The Queens ways." Yunho completes, bowing his head, defeated. "Your majesty."

"That's right." Mingi continues. "Off with—"

"Ah, but Your Majesty—" the White Rabbit squeaks, trading a fearful look with Yunho. "We have yet to, umm, call upon any witnesses! Surely we can stand to hear out one or two, hmm?"

Yunho would be dead ten times over if it weren't for Seonghwa trying to aid him. It's unfortunate how his efforts will be for naught. Once Mingi's mind is made up, there is no changing it. Seonghwa must know that.

The Queen sighs. "Fine," a low mumble that ripples murmurs through the court. "But get on with it."

"First witness!" Seonghwa calls hurriedly, like he's scared that if he wastes a single second more the Queen will change his mind. "First witness! The March Hare!"

The card soldiers saunter in on either side of the March Hare, shoving him harshly into the makeshift witness stand. The rabbit clears his throat without any care for the mans protests. "What do you know about this unfortunate affair?"

The March Hare blinks, the glare he'd directed at the soldiers vanishing as he answers the rabbits question. "How do you mean? About Alice?"

"Sure," the Queen answers, amused. "What do you know about Alice?"

"That's he's very curious and rudely invited himself to our tea party and—" his ears perk at the sight of the Cheshire Cat, who only appears for a split second, expression grim, before he disappears into thin air in a cloud of pink smoke. It's so quick Yunho doesn't even have any time to call attention to it. San falters for just a split second before he brightens again. "Oh, I remember! He gave us the most unusual of riddles!"

"What riddle?" The Queen asks, not at all amused.

"How is a raven like a writing desk?"

Yunho groans, pointing to the Hatter who sits behind him in the audience. "That's his silly riddle. I only repeated it on accident."

Mingi turns his head to the jury. "That's important. Write that down."

San's words don't hold any significant meaning—hell, they're only talking about that annoying poem, but Yunho doesn't object. No, he knows better than to speak his mind. Well, he should know better than to speak his mind. "Does His Majesty mean unimportant?"

"Silence!" Mingi scowls. "Next witness."

"The Dormouse." Seonghwa introduces.

Two card soldiers gently place a teapot on the table. "Well?" Mingi asks, quirking a brow. "What do you have to say about this? About Alice?"

Yeosang peeks his head out from under the lid, tired eyes blinking blurrily up at the Queen. "Alice? Who is Alice?"

"Some call him Alice," the White Rabbit answers after a pause. "And others call him Yunho."

"Oh!" Yeosang squeaks. "Oh, I see! I remember Yunho—he introduced himself to Hatter earlier." He nods his head, grinning fondly at the memory. "Yes, he introduced himself to all of us. He said our singing was beautiful, can you believe it?"

Yunho scoffs. As endearing as the Dormouse is, he provides no aid for Yunho's case. Or for the Queens, for that matter. This all seems rather irrelevant. "What next?"

"The Mad Hatter!" Seonghwa introduces, right on cue.

Hongjoong giggles as he takes to the stand, lifting his hat and bowing low at the waist.

"And what exactly do you know about Alice and the trouble he's caused?" Seonghwa asks curiously, his gaze locking with the man. He has an indecipherable expression on his face that Yunho just can't make out, no matter how hard he tries though it's clear the Hatters presence affects him somehow.

"I know nothing," Hongjoong replies, "I was home drinking tea," he crosses one leg over the other, eyes fixed on the rabbit as he murmurs, "but I would much rather be doing something else."

Gasps echo all throughout the court, the insinuation is not lost on Yunho or any of the others, seemingly. If the rabbit wasn't covered in fur Yunho would expect his face to flush red at so the prospect. Instead he frowns, lips curled into a distasteful sneer. "How crude. Have you nothing else to contribute to court? Nothing at all about Alice and his memories?"

"His memories?" Hatter cocks his head curiously to the side. "Well, actually, he did mention something about a talking door knob—"

"Objection, irrelevant!" Yunho interrupts.

"Sustained." The Queen mutters, banging his gravel harshly on the wooden oak of his desk, both of which having seemingly appeared from thin air. "Mad Hatter, was it?"

The Hatter nods, slowly.

"Let me ask you this: does our dearest Alice know you by name?"

The Hatter frowns. "Of course he does. Everyone knows who I am!"

"Not who you are," the Queen starts slowly, like he's trying not to spook a frightened animal. "Your name."

The court holds his breath as Hongjoong frowns, glancing between Seonghwa and Yunho curiously. "Why I—"

"I will accept nothing but the truth." Mingi spits. "Or it's off with your head."

The Hatter falters. "My name—" he stops, pressing his lips into a grim line.

"Tell me your name."

A pause. Then: "It's Hongjoong. Kim Hongjoong."

Mingi sits back in his seat, banging his gravel once more. "Alice is proved guilty," he calls, "for the crime of remembering—and for getting on my fucking nerves." He points an accusatory finger at Yunho. "The punishment for such a crime is death. Off with his head!"

"Mingi—" he calls, pulled away by two guards on either side. They kick the back his shins until he falls unceremoniously to his knees, unable to do anything but stare pathetically up at the Queen where he sits on his scarlet throne. "Mingi, wait—"

"You do not get to tell me what to do."

"Don't you want me to remember?" Yunho pleads, arms forced behind him by the guards tying his hands. "You're my friend. All the good times we had—why do you want me to forget?"

The Queen stands directly in front of him, a sword in his hand, stolen from one of the soldiers standing guard.

"For your own good." Mingi whispers, and for the first time since they met in this god awful place, Yunho finds there is a warmth in Mingi's gaze that slips through his carefully built mask of indifference. His eyes are soft where they stare into Yunho's own, regretful and sad in ways Yunho hasn't never seen.

He cannot bear to tear his gaze away, not even as Mingi brings the sword down on his neck. He doesn't close his eyes either, content with dying this way id it means Mingi's face is the last he will ever see.

Chapter 7: Alice

Yunho gasps awake, drenched in sweat with his heart pumping at twice the rhythm it should be. He doesn't know why it feels like a hand is squeezing him like some doll, making it that much harder to breathe. He doesn't know why his throat feels clogged, either, or why he knows the only thing he feels for certain is fear.

He's terrified.

His eyes flit frantically around, trying to discern where he is. Who he is. When it is—because he doesn't remember. Why doesn't he remember?

"The drink." Calls an unfamiliar voice, snapping him out of his panicked reverie. "Drink the bottle."

Yunho's head whips at the sound as he tries to figure out who it is that is speaking to him. There is no one here. There's nothing here but an empty room, tiled from floor to wall. There's neither a table nor chair—not even a door to speak of. Still—that voice is familiar, posh and irritating to no end.

"Here." The voice says. Yunho's head snaps at the sound but still, there's nothing. The more it speaks, the more dreadful Yunho feels. It's a nasally, pompous voice that irks him for reasons even he does not know. "Down here."

Yunho's eyes follow the voice down and fall immediately to the little wooden door sticking out of the wall. It can't be any bigger than his hand. Yunho crouches down to look at it, reaching for the golden door knob without a second thought.

"Ow!"

He falls back with gasp, eyes wide as he takes in the sight of the doorknob and the face that looks back at him with its brow curled. He realizes then that it's the doorknob speaking and for whatever reason, that doesn't seem unusual at all. Well, part of it does. Part of him feels incredulous—stunned stock still—but another, more present part of him accepts this turn of events quite readily. This is just how it is, in this place. How its always been.

"Oh," he breathes. "You scared me."

"I scared you?" The voice continues in his posh accent, scoffing at the implication. "Look at your size and look at me!"

Yunho tries not to let the door knobs words bother him. The implication that he's quite big isn't nice at all. "I'm sorry, but can I pass through?"

His words feel repetitive, like he's said them a million times before. He can't help but say them, even now, and he hasn't any idea why.

"No," the doorknob replies, not at all impressed. "You're much too big."

"But I—"

"Drink from that bottle."

Yunho frowns. He's been through this before. The memory of this moment comes to him in waves. Potion on the table.

Drink me.

He is bigger than the table. Much bigger, and a part of him knows this is exactly what is supposed to happen.

He predicts the door knobs next words, the sound of it ringing in his head—like the toll of a bell.

The door is locked. Key on the table, appearing only after Yunho's turned. Yunho blinks and there it is: a box filled with cookies.

"Try the box." The doorknob says, and Yunho feels a chill run down his spine as the words he'd heard in his head echo, loud and clear.

Eat me.

He's big again. Drinks the potion again and he's smaller. Small enough to pass through the door. The first thing he sees when he opens it isn't a White Rabbit. No, it should be the White Rabbit, though he hasn't any idea who the rabbit is or why he knows that it should be him who greets Yunho at the door.

After the rabbit, Yunho knows he has to meet the twins—Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum who are supposed to tell him a story. A story about curiosity and death. Next, he is to endure the flowers cruel words and harsh judgement.

There is an order to things, in this world, despite the madness contained within it. There is an order still and now—now for whatever reason, there isn't.

This time, instead of the White Rabbit he is met with the sight of the Caterpillar. Except—he isn't singing and smoking the alphabet like he was before. The air smells fresh, like the morning after a rainstorm. Muggy and warm without a hint of the flavored air that's supposed to be spit out by Jongho.

Jongho.

Because Jongho is the Caterpillar.

But who is Jongho?

And who is the Caterpillar?

And why does it feel wrong to remember something as trivial as—

Jongho gasps. He is not a caterpillar now—Yunho blinks and he is a human.

Yunho feels like screaming. There is a part of him, deep inside, that knows this is wrong. He isn't supposed to remember. For whatever reason, he isn't supposed to know who he is. Who Jongho is, but once the memories come there isn't very much they can do to stop it. Bits and pieces show up, like a log washed ashore, pulling and pushing until Yunho is left breathless and with even more questions than before.

Jongho's eyes are wide when he says. "You remember."

And Yunho—Yunho remembers Jongho. He remembers all of him. He remembers their shared talks and mornings spent pouring over plans and he remembers Jongho's voice, beautiful and soft and he remembers Strictland and World Z with all it's rules and how they were supposed to using their song and dance to unbrainwash the innocent civilians.

He remembers that he does not belong here, in Wonderland, where madness rules above all else.

In an instant, Jongho's face morphs into that of a beast. A bear. A demon, with long tusks and brown fur and sharp teeth and deep, red, glowing eyes and he's howling now, screaming about how Yunho isn't supposed to remember.

Yunho runs.

He runs until there is no more air left in his lungs. He runs until spots dot his vision and his feet grow numb. He's been running for miles now—except—the demon-beast hasn't let up, running after him on all fours. Fear has lodged itself deep into the darkest depths of Yunho's stomach, his breathless pants becoming more ragged and rough the longer he stays on his feet.

"Yunho!" Yunho's head whips at the source of the sound, calling to him.

It's the cat. Cheshire, floating in the trees above. Except no it's not. Yunho blinks and it's Wooyoung in his human form, still floating in the air as he takes Yunho's arm and guides him into the woods, far away from the path.

They don't stop until the growls and heavy footfalls of the beast fall away. When they do, Yunho drops to his knees, using a nearby tree for support.

"Fuck?" He coughs, grasping his collar in a desperate attempt to take in more air. "What the hell is going on?"

"This world—" Wooyoung starts, eyes flicking every which way in search of something. Watching. Waiting. For what, Yunho doesn't know. "It's alive. Everything in it is alive. It hears your thoughts. It's a part of you." He pauses, crouching low to meet Yunho's gaze. "You and this world are one and the same."

"Is this—" Yunho swallows the bile threatening to spill past his lips. "Is this a dream? A nightmare?"

A twig snaps and their heads instantly whip towards the sound. "Run." Wooyoung whispers, and it's so quiet Yunho think he's misheard. "Run!" He says again, loud and desperate.

Yunho moves without thinking. He doesn't look to see whether or not Wooyoung is following him. He can't even bring himself to care; the fear licking up his spine so intensely that the only thing he can really think about in that moment is himself.

He stumbles—feet catching on the root of a lonesome tree and he trips—falling to his knees. He gets up just as quickly, uncaring of the bloody gash on his leg, pants torn and dirty now from where he fell but he doesn't care.

He only stops when he no longer hears the heavy footsteps pounding on the earth. He finds himself in yet another forest. This one is darker, however, though there is no moon or sun to speak. The air is heavy and the branches reach out like vines towards the open skies but there is something so familiar about this place that eases his worries, just slightly. He realizes with a start that despite the dark atmosphere, he doesn't really feel unwelcome.

Still, his breath comes in pants and he's scared out of his mind, head turning at the slightest sound. His knee hurts too. The blood drips down his leg—staining his white pants an ugly red.

This is not a dream. It's not a dream because he is bleeding. Yunho is hurting. If it were a dream, he would've woken up in a sweat, especially after the fright he's had. He's blindly wandering the woods, entertaining his thoughts when he sees it: a sign that reads Mad Hatter's Tea Party in messy cursive.

He lets out a breath of relief before scrambling for the gate, calling out to Hongjoong before he's even had the chance to meet him. "Captain!" He shouts, catching sight of the man, dozing off at the head of the table with a tea cup in his hand. "Hongjoong—Hongjoong, wake up!"

The Hatter startles awake, hissing and screaming about an intruder who disrupted his sleep. The March Hare—San, in his human form—starts shouting in tandem, screaming at him to get out. It's a mess of voices trying to speak over each other, Yunho trying to explain himself all the while with Yeosang trying to play the mediator.

"Wait," he pleads. "Stop, please—!" He holds his hands up in surrender but to no avail. "It's me. It's Yunho."

"You know?" Hongjoong scoffs, lip curled into a distasteful sneer. "No, I do not know. I also do not care. Have you no manners? You do not attend a tea party you are not invited to."

"Don't you remember me?" He tries, desperation bleeding through his tone. "Don't you remember who you are? Your name? You're Hongjoong and you're San and Yeosang—you're supposed to—"

"Who are you to tell us who we are?" Hongjoong glares. "Get out."

"But—!"

"I said, get out!"

Yunho fights back his tears as he slowly backs away, overwhelmed by an irrational anger that makes his hands tremble where they're clenched into fists at his side. He flees without sparing them another glance, refusing to meet either of their gazes.

That wasn't Hongjoong, just then. It wasn't San, either. No his Hongjoong and his San and his Yeosang who could only watch them all with sad eyes, tired eyes. The only explanation Yunho has for something like this is that the device he and Wooyoung designed worked differently than anticipated. They must be in another timeline. Some alternate dimension.

There was World A and World Z and now they were in—what? Wonderland? World W? It made sense, but only partly. It would explain the rules of his world and why the others are acting differently than they should; why they don't know him.

Could it be that only some of the members came with him to this world? Like Wooyoung, who remembers Yunho and seems to know at least a little of what is going on.

Wooyoungs words come back to haunt him, then.

You and this world are one and the same.

If that is true, then this isn't some other world they're stuck in. But it can't be a dream either, can it? You don't simply get hurt in dreams.

He wanders deeper into the woods and the further he goes, the more he starts to realize how much darker it's gotten. When he looks up, there is a crescent moon above his head. One that smiles down at him.

"They do not remember you." A whisper, so quiet it's carried away by the wind.

Yunho's head snaps to the source of the sound.

There, leaning against a tree with his arms crossed over his chest stands Seonghwa, his head of white hair a glowing beacon in the darkness encompassing them. He looks much more threatening in human form, with sharp eyes and his shoulders straight, though Yunho stands a head taller than him regardless. "Do you know why?"

Yunho shakes his head, ever so slowly. Somethings off. Something's wrong, though he can't quite place what.

Seonghwa stalks carefully over to him, dawned in a white cloak that falls down to his ankles. He looks other-worldly where he stands, illuminated by the gentle light of the moon. "Because they are dead."

Yunho freezes where he stands, his breath suddenly trapped in his lungs. "What?" His mind is disconnected from his mouth and he sputters, blabbering the first thing that pierces the blanks in his mind. "That's not funny. Don't joke about stuff like that. I—I don't know what's going on here but I—" but even as he says those words, Seonghwa's somber expression reveals that he is speaking the truth. This isn't some prank they're playing. Not now, and Yunho's heart continues to drop as the seconds tick silently by. His mouth runs dry and the words leave him breathless. Eventually he settles on asking Seonghwa one very simple question. "How is that possible?"

"You remember the device you built with Wooyoung, correct?" Yunho nods, suddenly sick to his stomach. "It failed."

"Did I—I mean—did we kill them?"

There is something so cold and unforgiving about the look on Seonghwa's face that makes him falter. "No, Yunho. It was not the device that killed them."

"Then—"

Seonghwa does not allow him to speak. "You're stuck in a loop." He continues, and it does not go unnoticed by Yunho how his question was ignored. "This story has been read many times."

"A loop?" The tangled branches seem much more threatening now, in the dark, like skeletons waiting for the perfect moment to drag him back down into the grave. It's like the walls are closing around him as the reality of their situation settles over him. He remembers now, all the other rounds, though they've all blurred into a mess in his mind. He can't tell one from the other but it's the way each rounded has ended that sticks out in his mind. "Then—how many times have we gone through this? And why am I remembering all of this now? I didn't—I don't think I remembered this much in all the other rounds."

"You didn't." Seonghwa confirms. "You remember more with each passing round."

"And now?"

"This is the final round." He explains, voice softer now, like he can tell Yunho's head will combust the longer they converse. "This is the round that determines our success."

"Success?" Yunho licks his dry lips, bloody from his nervous biting. It stings but the pain is grounding. Real. "What Success?" His eyes feel wet and in seconds Seonghwa is nothing but a white blur in the dark. "Why aren't you answering me? How many rounds have I gone through?"

Seonghwa's gaze is laced with pity but he does not answer. No, it's Wooyoung who does, his voice an echo where it calls softly from above. "Nine-thousand twenty-four."

Those words leave him stunned. When he looks up, he finds Wooyoung has taken to leaning over a branch, looking down at them with sad, knowing eyes.

"How long?" Yunho murmurs. "How long have I been stuck here? And why—why do you know everything and I don't?"

"Time does not exist here." He easily replies, sharing a look with Seonghwa who promptly avoids his gaze. "And we knows what's going on because we are real, just like you are. We're not a part of this world."

"But I am." Yunho completes, in awe of the discovery. "I am a part of this world but I am also 'real' as you say. Why?"

Wooyoung jumps down from his branch, landing safely on his feet despite the incredible height that he fell from. "Remember what you asked me, Yunho? About being stuck in a dream?"

"This isn't a dream." He answers dumbly, pinching his forearm. "If it were a dream I'd have woken up a long time ago."

"That's right," Seonghwa nods, slowly, as though not to startle a wild animal. "It isn't a normal dream."

"Your body is in World Z still," Wooyoung continues. "As are the rest of the members."

"Then—this place—"

"You're comatose." Seonghwa interrupts, and the silence that follows is so thick Yunho can barely breathe.

His mouth runs dry. He can't believe his ears. He can't believe that this is happening; that his entire world is falling apart at the seams right in front of his eyes. "What?"

Wooyoung slaps a rough hand against Seonghwa's shoulder, glaring. "At least try to sugarcoat it, why don't you?"

"I don't understand." Yunho mumbles dumbly. His head feels light with all the new knowledge he's acquired so he stumbles in the dark, grasping for the first thing to grasp for support. A fallen log appears at his feet, like it can feel everything Yunho is feeling, like it knows and suddenly, Seonghwa's words make too much sense. He takes to it silently, putting his head in his hands and screwing his eyes shut like that will banish every raging thought from his troubled head. "If I'm in a coma and I'm stuck in my own mind—how the hell are you two here? Are you even real?"

"We are." Seonghwa answers softly, a steady weight beside him. An anchor, grounding despite the words that rock Yunho's entire world. "Wooyoung built a new device. One that establishes a mind link." A pause. "Do you—do you remember what happened before you went into a coma, Yunho?"

He looks up to find Seonghwa and Wooyoung looking at him expectantly, like his answer holds the key to everything. "I remember the blast from the device we built. Then I woke up here." He tries to wrack his mind for anything else but comes up empty. "That's all I remember."

They trade a look. One that Yunho does not understand. What else could he possibly be missing? He doesn't bring that to attention though. No, instead he asks the question burning holes in his mind. "How long does nine-thousand twenty-four rounds equate to outside of this place?"

That renders them both silent. Then, softly, Wooyoung replies: "I think it's best if we stop here for now. There are more important things to talk about."

"Yes, like getting you out of here." The shift in topic does not go unnoticed by Yunho but he keeps his mouth shut, listening as Seonghwa continues to explain what the plan is. "You want to wake up, don't you, Yunho?"

Yunho frowns. What kind of question is that. "Why—well, yes, of course I do."

"Then you need to do as we say." He crouches in front of him, forcing Yunho's gaze to meet his. In his eyes, Yunho does not see the determined flame he once did and the realization is startling. Instead, he sees exhaustion laced with a quiet desperation, unyielding where it stares Yunho in the eye. "You trust us don't you?"

He did. He does, but those words strike an awful chord within him because—after everything he's learned—after the talk he's had with the two of them—he isn't sure if he does. Still, he nods and some of the tension leaves Seonghwa's shoulders.

"Okay," he whispers, small and quiet. "Because you're the only one who can get yourself out of this place."

Yunho squares his shoulders. "What do I need to do?"

It's Seonghwa who answers him. It's Seonghwa, because Wooyoung cannot bring himself to utter those next words. Yunho sees it in his eyes, the way they flit quietly to the side, filled to the brim with shame. But Seonghwa—Seonghwa is unbridled in his quiet fury. "You have to kill the Queen of Hearts."

Chapter 8: Wonderland

Before Yunho has the chance to question the elders words, he hears a low growl and realizes they have company. It's Jongho, though he appears in the form of an angry bear with gaping maws ready to snap at the first thing in his line of sight.

That first thing just happens to be Yunho, who barely dodges the attack. His hands start to tremble again as that deep, familiar fear starts clawing at him to be let out. Jongho prowls closer to him, and Yunho moves carefully in a circle, crouching low to meet the beasts gaze.

"Can you understand me?" He asks, and Jongho gives a shake of his head that Yunho isn't sure is intentional or not.

"There's no use talking to him." Seonghwa counters, watching the two as they circle around each other like a pair of wild animals. "He is on the Queens side."

At that Jongho's head snaps up to him, a deep rooted scowl etched onto his furry face. If he could speak, Yunho garners he'd be cursing out the older man.

"This is my dream, right?" Jongho stills as soon as the words are out of Yunho's mouth. "That means I can make you do whatever I want, right?"

The beast nods slowly, cautiously.

"Then speak. Beast or not, living or not, anything is able to speak in this place." Jongho watches him with amusement as the others frown, exchanging an indecipherable look. "Tell me, what is it that you want?"

"Have the traitors not told you?" His voice is inherently Jongho's, though he is still a beast that looks to the rest of them in anger. At the resounding silence he says, "They want to wake you up," he starts slowly, like he's trying to make Yunho understand something vital. "But have you considered why the rest of us wouldn't want that to happen?"

Yunho frowns.

No. No, he hadn't.

Before Jongho can continue, however, Seonghwa throws a knife directly at him. It pierces his side, where his ribs reside and his resounding howl is blood curdling. There is an angry flame in his eye that burns even brighter when his gaze falls to the White Rabbit who watches him with a brow raised in a quiet challenge.

Jongho does not take him up on it, however, charging for Yunho in the split second that passes. Yunho is too late to react, screwing his eyes shut as he waits for Jongho's teeth to snap over his head. His eyes fly open of their own accord when he feels a tug on his collar and realizes that it's Jongho's teeth, using their hold on Yunho's shirt to carry him away from Seonghwa and Wooyoung.

Yunho sputters, he's so far off the ground that his feet barely graze the forest floor. That's how big Jongho is, his slobber running down Yunho's back as he runs all fours to go who knows where. "What the fuck?"

Jongho replies with something that sounds vaguely like, "this is for your own good." And Yunho is much too stunned to even protest, letting himself be carried away like some cat hung by the nape of it's neck.

He doesn't know for how long Jongho runs but he blinks and in the next second they're in a maze. Jongho barrels through the green shrubs without a care in the world, eventually slowing to a walk as they reach the Queens palace.

"This is—you're taking me to Mingi?"

Jongho lowers his head and drops him. Yunho lands inelegantly on his ass, his white pants long since soiled with blood and grime so he barely pays any mind to the grass that stains his pants a muggy green.

"Talk to him." Jongho says, just as the card soldiers start gathering curiously around them. "Find out what's happening." Yunho is too stunned to even fight against the hands restraining him, the guards pulling him to his feet and carrying him away. Jongho's voice is soft when he whispers, "I promise he doesn't hate you."

The words strike a chord within him. One that resonates for as long as he's knelt at the foot of the Queens throne, the knowledge of everything he's learned leaving his mind a bespeckled mess.

"What is the meaning of this?" Mingi's low voice booms in the quiet hall, stealing the breath from Yunho's lungs. When he looks up, he finds Mingi is dressed the same as he was in all the other rounds only this time, there is a permanent frown etched onto his face as he takes in Yunho's unsightly appearance. The sight of him brings with it the rush of memories he hadn't realized he'd forgotten.

Yunho can't sleep. He hasn't been able to get a good nights rest in years. Partly because of the stress. Partly because of the horrors they've all been witness to in all the years they've devoted their time to fighting against Z and his ridiculous rules.

A part of him is paranoid too—scared that the Guardians will find and eradicate them when they least expect it, though they are safe at the base with Left Eye and the rest of the Black Pirates. That's why, on nights when he should be sleeping, Yunho picks up a book to read in an effort to pass the time.

It's on one such night when he's picked up a book he's read many times before that a knock sounds at his door. He barely glances up from the page when the door opens, ignoring the silent footsteps that bound towards him. He doesn't react when Mingi settles under the covers beside him, mindlessly moving a hand to sift gently through Mingi's hair. "Nightmare again, princess?"

Mingi hums something low under his breath, hands coming up to wrap around Yunho's waist where he's leaning against the headboard, book splayed open in his lap. His eyes stay fixed on the page but he's long since stopped reading, distracted as soon as the familiar knock sounded at his door. Now, with Mingi's piercing gaze taking him apart inch by inch, Yunho cannot even begin to comprehend the words in front of him.

"You're not flipping the page." Mingi mumbles into the muffled fabric of Yunho's shirt. His eyes are closed and his breathing is even but he's very clearly awake. Yunho doubts he'll be able to go back to sleep so soon after a nightmare. This is routine, just like everything else.

He doesn't know for how long he just sat there, staring with unseeing eyes at the book in front of him but it's long enough that Mingi starts to notice. "I'm admiring the pictures."

Mingi blinks one eye skeptically open, glancing down at the page to find the picture of a little girl talking to a rabbit that holds a pocket watch between them. Beside it is the block of text describing the scene Yunho's read more than a thousand times.

He wasn't really looking at the pictures. He didn't need to, with how many times he'd read the book. No, he'd been looking at Mingi whose eyes have closed of their own accord, but Mingi didn't need to know that, though Yunho suspected he already did.

"This book again?" He frowns. "What was it—Alice in Wonderland?"

"Alice's Adventures in Wonderland." Yunho corrects, tangling his fingers in Mingi's soft hair. It distracts them both, though only momentarily. It's a children's book by all accounts. Still, it was his favorite; a memory shared with his brother back when they were too young to fully grasp the lessons imbedded in the pages.

"Is it any different from the one in our world?" Yunho flips to a page further in the book. "Only small things," he explains, pointing at the picture of the Caterpillar who at some point turned into a beast with tusks and fur. It was meant to be scary, but to Yunho who is not a child and who is familiar with the story the beast looks almost like a fluffy teddy bear. "The Caterpillar is also a bear used by the Queen of Hearts to threaten Alice. He's not on the side the readers would initially guess."

Mingi frowns as Yunho continues, flipping the pages until he's found what he's looking for.

"And the Cheshire Cat has a soft spot for the March Hare. He's always there to save him anytime his madness gets bad enough that he accidentally ends up hurting himself. Like that time they spilt boiling tea all over themselves, see?" Yunho turns the page as Mingi nods, slowly. "And the Mad Hatter is weirdly amused by the White Rabbit in this version. If you ask me, I gather there's something going on between the two."

Mingi lets out a tired giggle and Yunho continues, determined to lighten his sullied mood. "And the Queen of Hearts—well," Mingi traces the picture of the queen with a gentle finger, pausing over the golden crown that rests on her head. "She is ruthless and unforgiving but—"

Mingi glances up, catching his gaze. "But?"

"Her determination. Her courage. She is strong—stronger than anyone gives her credit for. Lonely too, I think. She doesn't have a king that rules by her side. In this version, she lost him once, a very long time ago and hasn't been the same since. That's why she's so cruel and cold-hearted." Mingi hums and Yunho can tell he's losing him to sleeps tempting embrace. "She's a lot like you, in a way."

It's barely a murmur, so quiet it barely reaches his own ears but Yunho feels compelled to say those words aloud, though Mingi is softly snoring at his side and does not hear him.

Yunho gently closes the book and puts it back on his nightstand when his eyes start to weigh heavy, leaning his head back against the headboard so as not to wake Mingi's peaceful slumber. He doesn't even notice when sleep takes him too.

"Why is he here? It's too early." Mingi continues, taking to his throne with his face twisted in disdain, one leg crossed over the other. Not for the first time, Yunho's breath is stolen by his beauty. "He's not supposed to be here so early."

Yunho doesn't know who he's talking to but when a familiar voice pipes up the blood all but drains from Yunho's face. "Jongho's doing, Your Grace." It's Seonghwa, bowing his head just to the right of the throne, far enough away that Yunho hadn't spotted him at first. "He's been meddling."

Mingi hums, clearly quite displeased about this turn of events. "How much does he remember."

Seonghwa meets his eye when he answers: "Almost everything, sire."

Almost everything, he says, even when they both knew that Yunho did in fact remember every single thing.

Mingi's next words confirm that he isn't completely clueless about where Seonghwa's loyalties lie. "And how much have you told him?" He asks, his voice as sharp as his narrowed eyes, boring into the rabbits soul.

"I know about what's happening." He interrupts, and Seonghwa's bowed head is the only reason Yunho sees his irritated scowl where he's knelt and Mingi doesn't. "I know about the outside. World Z. The mind link." Mingi stills where he sits, gripping the plush arms of his grand throne so fiercely his knuckles turn white. "What I don't know is why you're all in my head. I'd also love an explanation as to why some of you want me to wake and others of you do not."

He's staring at Mingi as he speaks, gaze unwavering. Mingi does not bow his head or look away in shame. Not like the way Wooyoung did, when Yunho tried to broach the subject.

The Queen snaps his fingers and to the guards he says, "leave us." No one argues. No one dares question the Queens words. His eyes flick to Seonghwa in the corner. "That includes you."

Seonghwa seems startled by the demand. "You're Majesty—"

"Leave."

Seonghwa's lips are pressed into a grim line when he finally parts with a mocking bow and muttered scoff, muttering something indistinguishable under his breath.

"Tell me," Mingi starts, when the double doors slam gracefully shut behind them, leaving for the silence to swallow them whole in the big empty space. "How much do you actually remember?"

"Everything, except—" he stops and Mingi raises a curious brow, urging him along silently. "I don't remember how I got put in a coma. I thought it was because of the blast that came as a result of the device Wooyoung and I built but the way they were looking at me when I voiced my thoughts—"

Mingi stands, making his way down the steps leading up to the throne, down the red carpet that runs in a line all the way to the door. Yunho looks up as he comes to stand in front of him, Mingi's hand on his face making him falter. "It wasn't because of the device." His voice is quiet and oh so vulnerable, nothing at all like the harsh boldness of the Queen of Hearts. "The device worked well. Too well."

Yunho frowns as Mingi guides him to stand with just the hand on his face, gentle where it's placed on his cheek. It feels wrong, the way Mingi is touching him, the way he looks at him, like Yunho will disappear if dares to even blink. "Seonghwa said it failed."

"Seonghwa doesn't know what he's talking about." Somehow, Yunho doubts that is true but he lets Mingi speak regardless, listening as he spits insult after insult like they weren't all supposed to be the best of friends. "The Seonghwa of today is no longer the man you used to know. He is bitter and cold and sad, years of living a harsh life without Hongjoong at his side having sharpened him into something cruel."

Yunho's breath stutters. "Years?"

That's when it happens, Mingi's blank expression falls almost immediately, giving way to sad pitying eyes, glassy where they stare into his own. His lips are pulled taut and his shoulder drop the instant Yunho says that word, like he's tasting it for the first time.

"How many years have I been asleep, Mingi?" It's a whisper. Yunho can barely bring himself to believe it.

"I shouldn't tell you." Mingi whispers back. "The more you know the more likely you are to wake up."

Yunho grabs Mingi's wrist—the very same still cradling his face like he's made of glass. "Why don't you want me to wake up, princess?"

And it's like that nickname is enough to break down the rest of Mingi's walls. That's when the tears fall and Yunho is left scrambling to pick up the pieces that is Song Mingi. He crumbles before his eyes, falling to his knees, held upright only by Yunho's firm grip on his wrists. He barely has any time to react before Mingi pulls him close against his chest, burying his sobs into his shoulder.

The sound is familiar.

Crying. Sobbing. Pleading. Mingi's voice—desperate and wet as he pulls Yunho into his arms, cradling his head and pressing their heads together as Yunho's grasp on his consciousness sways.

Yunho lets it happen, running a gentle hand through his hair like he used to every time Mingi crawled into his bed after a nightmare. He murmurs reassurances like he used to whenever Mingi's anxiety got the best of him, sitting with him on the bathroom floor until his breaths came evenly and his eyes puffy and red from the tears he'd shed.

"I hate you," Mingi says, quiet and cold, punching Yunho's chest weakly with a trembling fist. There is no force behind it and yet the action—paired with those words—it causes a deep crevice to form from the cracks in Yunho's heart. "I hate you," he says again, louder this time, his punch more powerful. "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you so much I can't—" then he lets out a guttural scream, so raw and powerful that not even Yunho's shirt can completely muffle it.

"I'm sorry." Yunho starts, tears pricking at his own eyes. "I'm sorry I killed that boy even when I knew you were against it. I'm sorry I lied to you about it. I'm sorry I never apologized or make amends. I'm sorry I—"

"Idiot," Mingi mumbles, low and weak. "I could care less about that. That isn't why I hate you." Before Yunho can stumble over a reply Mingi pulls away from him, eyes red and puffy, and it's only then that Yunho realizes the thin lines in the corners of his eyes, on his forehead. He's aged, Yunho realizes with a start, heart stuttering in his chest. Yunho's been gone long enough that Mingi has aged. He points an accusatory finger at Yunho's chest, harsh and unforgiving. "I hate you because you haven't put yourself first once in your entire goddamn life and look where it's gotten you." Yunho doesn't know what he's talking about but before he can even bring himself to ask, Mingi says something that brings with it a flurry of memories, hidden in the darkest parts of his mind. "Why do you always have to play the hero?"

"Don't—" Mingi whispers, with wild eyes that scream with terror. "Don't play the hero."

But Yunho has already made up his mind. Hongjoongs body bleeds red at his feet, if Yunho bothers to look at him. His eyes blur if he even spares Seonghwa a pitying glance where he quietly sobs over the Captains motionless form. He will cry if he looks so he doesn't, rapidly blinking the blurriness away though the sinking feeling in his stomach makes the bile rise higher, like a sea of acid burning him from the inside.

The only place Yunho can look is at Mingi who cannot stop the trail of tears that blotch his face red, looking at him with pleading eyes like he knows every thought that runs through Yunho's head. Yunho doesn't doubt that he does. Still, he looks away. Ignores those desperate whispers until the only thing in his field of vision is Hongjoongs corpse beside Sans beside Yeosangs.

All he sees when Yunho looks at them is Mingi. Mingi lying there, covered in blood. Mingi, lying motionless at his feet. It's Mingi's unseeing eyes that haunt him the nights Yunho cannot sleep; his corpse a reminder of the price Yunho will pay for his failure.

He will not let mingi meet the same fate. He refuses to let those nightmares come to fruition. He doesn't even care how selfish he sounds—how someone might look back on this moment and Yunho's actions and name him a villain. He doesn't even care, if it will mean Mingi is safe at the end of all this.

The Guardians keeping watch don't seem to notice when he inches slowly towards the discarded device. A device that—should their plans fail—was meant to be used only as a last resort, because of all that it cost.

"Yunho—" Mingi hisses, just loud enough that Yunho fears the Guardians will hear them.

They don't, so Yunho finally grabs it, twisting the mechanism until it lets up with a soft click.

Wooyoung is unconscious but Jongho and Seonghwa watch him with wide, fearful eyes as the lock slips into place. They know what he's going to do now, just like Mingi does.

The device did what it was supposed to, unbrainwashing the masses. It was a success, their plan, but what came after the celebratory cheers as they all gathered back at the base was what ended them all in this mess.

The Guardians followed them back, more than they could handle. They were ruthless; merciless as they slain all who stood in their way, only keeping alive a certain few to make an example of. That was supposed to be Yunho, Seonghwa, Mingi, and Jongho, but Yunho wasn't going to let them.

The fail safe, when it works, was supposed to force the control of the person who starts the activation on that of the so-called "unbrainwashed" population which just so happened to span the most populated sectors. Their base just happened to be dead center.

It's hypocritical, Yunho knows, for them to create a device that does the exact thing their fighting against—to do the exact thing they've been trying to stop Z from doing for years. He knows that. They all do, but there is no better way to fight fire than with fire when water and wind have long since proven useless.

There is no way to excuse what he's doing, especially when it's with selfish intent; to save the last of their crumbling group. It will all be worth it, in the end, if Mingi is alive at the end of it.

So much control over so many people will put a strain on his mind. Yunho knows that. The fail safe was built just in case. No one actually thought they would have to use it; that one person would have to sacrifice their life to make this happen.

It doesn't matter that the activation of this device will induce a pain unlike any other—that he might even lose his life as a result. It doesn't matter that thousands of people will fall victim to his whims. It doesn't matter because at least then, Thunder and what's left of the Black Pirates will finally have the upper hand against Z. None of it will matter. Not if Mingi is alive after all of this because at least then—at least then Yunho would have succeeded in keeping safe the one thing in his life that brought him joy.

"I didn't do it to be a hero." He says with a start, and Mingi's eyes widen in surprise, like he's realizing that Yunho remembers. "I did it to protect you. To protect all of you. But mostly—" Yunho's voice catches in his throat so he whispers, "Mostly, I did it for you. Because at the end of the day, you're life is all that matters me."

Mingi's eyes are wide as Yunho continues, hands trembling where they're gripping his shirt, soaked through with his tears.

"So don't call me a hero—and don't think I did it out of the kindness of my heart." He presses a hand against Mingi's heart, feeling it's steady rhythm beat against his palm. It's fast. Faster still the closer Yunho leans, until their noses are mere inches apart. "I did what I did because I was selfish enough to want you to live, even if I knew I wouldn't be there to grow old by your side like I always promised."

When Mingi kisses him, it's like a weight is lifted off his shoulders. He swallows Mingi's gasps and small hiccups, savoring the salty taste of his tears until his lips are red and his face is as flushed as Yunho's own.

He knows now why Seonghwa wanted to wake him and Mingi didn't. He knows why his friends are split into two distinct sides. He knows, and that's why he reaches for the dagger tucked into his boot. A dagger that wasn't there before, one that his mind conjured from thin air.

"I love you," he whispers, and Mingi must see it on his face what he's about to do because he freezes, eyes wide where they stare into Yunho's own. "You know that, don't you?"

Mingi shakes his head, slowly scrambling away. Yunho follows slowly, carefully, revealing the dagger in his hand. "No, no, you are not doing this after we just talked about you being a hero."

"I'm not being hero, princess." Mingi stops crawling away when his back comes into contact with the foot of his throne, frozen stiff as Yunho crouches to meet his gaze. "I'm not doing this for all the people I'm mindlessly controlling." He points the tip of the dagger to Mingi's heart, slowly dragging it to Mingi's chin to gently force his gaze to meet his. "I'm doing it because I know you won't be able to move on if I'm still alive."

"Stop it."

But Yunho does not stop. No, he keeps going, letting the tears fall freely and he senses it then—the eyes that are watching them. When glances up he sees Wooyoung with a hand over his mouth, floating near one of the pillars to the left of the throne. The door is open too now, though Yunho hadn't heard it open. He doesn't have to look to know that Seonghwa and Jongho are standing there. He knows because he's summoned them. He wants them to be here—to see them one last time before he's gone too. Even Hongjoong, San, and Yeosang are here, watching them from where they're sitting in a corner, though Yunho knows it isn't the real them. He doesn't really care. He needs them all here, one last time, bound together like they were all those years ago.

"I'm of no use to you like this. I haven't been for years."

Mingi scrambles for the dagger in Yunho's hand but Yunho knows him too well, even after all these years, he hasn't changed. Not at his core. Not really. He moves it away before he can grab it, sending the two of them tumbling.

"You're not doing this to me." Mingi grunts, wrestling for the knife. "You're not leaving me alone again."

Yunho doesn't have the heart to tell him he's been alone all this time, but Mingi must see it on his face, the words that go unspoken between them because he shouts once more before promptly ripping the dagger from Yunho's hands.

His movements are erratic and uncoordinated and it isn't difficult trying to get the upper hand. Not when they've sparred so many times before. During every spar, Yunho did whatever he could to get under Mingi's skin, knowing that he was practically useless the more emotional he was.

So it isn't a surprise when he grabs the hands Mingi is using to press the dagger to his neck, drawing a nick of blood. It isn't a surprise when he easily flips them over, straddling Mingi's waist where he's pressed into the cold tile, the dagger pressed dangerously over his throat.

He chances a glance at Seonghwa who is watching them struggle with a grim expression. "If I kill him here—" he pants, forcing the dagger closer. "He'll still be alive in World Z, right?"

He nods, and that is the deciding factor that gives Yunho the courage he needs to do what needs to be done. He pulls the dagger away from Mingi's neck and for a split second, there is a spark of hope in his eye.

Yunho does not wait long enough to let it take root.

He is a selfish man, at his core. He wants to have Mingi all to himself for as long as he can and slashing his throat doesn't give them any time for goodbyes so Yunho kills him in a way that buys him more time, thrusting the dagger deep into Mingi's heart.

Mingi's resounding scream is the stuff of nightmares, bloodcurdling and pained. If Yunho were to live another day past this moment, he is sure that voice—that look of betrayal and the way his eyes roll into the back of his head—he knows for certain that it would haunt his worst nightmares.

"I love you," Yunho says again, and it's still not enough. It's not enough to apologize for the pain he's caused Mingi, now and all the years since he'd activated the fail safe. It's not enough no matter how many times he says it because Yunho was supposed to grow old with Mingi at his side. He was supposed to say those words to him every morning tehy woke up and every night before bed and all the other times in between. "I love you," he says again, and he might as well be twisting the dagger in Mingi's heart with the way he screams, clawing desperately at Yunho's wrists where he's gently holding Mingi's tear streaked face in his bloody hands.

Mingi's breath stutters in his lungs as a guttural cough wracks through him. His mouth comes away bloody and Yunho knows he doesn't have much time. "I'm sorry," he whispers. "For causing you so much pain. For lying to you. I'm sorry I couldn't give you the world like I promised."

Mingi wheezes, the air leaving his lungs quickly and Yunho tries to savor the weight of him against his cold hands as best he can. He imprints the image of Mingi to his mind; his face, his smile, the quiet glimmer in his hopeful eye. He keeps it all in the forefront of his mind, wants Mingi's face to be the last he sees when he dies.

"I want you to live, okay? Everything I did—everything I do—I do it for you." He traces gentle circles over Mingi's cheek, uncaring of the blood smearing against his pale skin, growing paler with every passing second. "Fall in love if you can, live a life you want to live. Don't—don't hate Seonghwa and Wooyoung, alright? Stay with the others. Take care of them. Let them take care of you. Don't shut yourself out."

Mingi whimpers but Yunho barrels on, determined to get everything off his chest. "Remember what you said to me? About not forgiving me even if the world was ending?"

Another cough jerks Mingi's body and he gasps, like there isn't enough air in the world and when Mingi grips his shirt and pulls him into a searing kiss, Yunho melts into it, tasting salt and iron and he can't tell the difference between Mingi's tears and his own. "I hate you," Mingi whispers against his lips, weak and pained. "I will always—" a cough. "Hate you. Won't ever—won't forgive you. That hasn't changed."

And Mingi has always been a terrible liar but this really takes the cake. No one in that room believes the words that make it past his lips but no one bothers to correct him.

Yunho presses his forehead against Mingi's as he takes his final breath. "Good," Yunho whispers against his corpse, screwing his eyes shut so he's no longer met with the gruesome sight of his lover, dead in his arms. "It will make it easier to move on."

Chapter 9: Epilogue - Sector 1

When Mingi wakes, it's with tears in his eyes and a scream stuck in his throat. He's lying on an all too familiar hospital bed, the sound of Yunho's heart monitor goes haywire in the split second it takes him to wake before it flatlines, the other members spread on the beds beside his own waking with a start.

The dream ended, kicking them all out. Mingi is the first to rip off the helmet connecting him to the dream world, throwing it off to the side in favor of grabbing Yunho's cold hands.

The nurses scramble around him in search of a way to keep them alive but it's fruitless. They know it and so does everyone else. That's why they don't tell Mingi to move—to give him space.

There is nothing that can save Jeong Yunho, whose been rotting away on that hospital bed for more than twelve and a half years. Still, Mingi's heart stutters at the sight of him because at least when he'd been asleep, Yunho had been alive. He'd been breathing, though he couldn't see or hear Mingi. Because despite being tied to that hospital bed for so long—Mingi could at least visit him. He could see his face, touch him in ways he'd been too scared too when Yunho was alive and well.

Now, he is nothing but a ghost of Mingi's past. He is nothing but a ghost, slowly rotting away, and Mingi should be happy. He should be happy that he's no longer suffering.

But he isn't.

He doesn't move until the nurses move to pry him away from Yunho—doesn't even realize he's crying until Wooyoung envelopes him in his arms. They declare a time of death—9:24—and the irony of it all has Mingi bursting into laughter.

He sounds hysterical and he can't stop but he just finds it so hilarious that so cruel a number haunts Yunho even now, in his death. His laugh quickly devolves into something more pained as they drape a white sheet over Yunho's sleeping form, his sobs drowning out all the others in the room.

Time passes in a blur after that. He snaps anytime Seonghwa tries to speak to him, blinded by an uncontrollable rage. Seonghwa never shouts back, always lowering his head in shame. Always looking at Mingi with that pitying look in his eye. And really, Mingi should be more thoughtful: Seonghwa lost the love of his life twelve years ago, as did Wooyoung and Jongho. They've all been through what Mingi is going through now except—Seonghwa hadn't died in his lovers arm in a cruel land, just out of reach.

Seonghwa hadn't been as close to saving Hongjoong as Mingi was to saving Yunho.

"You killed him!" Mingi screams. He doesn't even know what they were talking about before, just knows that even Yunho's words on Seonghwa's lips leave him bitter and aching; yearning fir something he knows he will never have. "You did. It was all your fault. Telling him to kill me like—like some fucking—how cruel do you have to be to—!" he lets out a noise of frustration, too angry to form proper sentences.

They've had this fight many times before, so it really doesn't matter what Mingi says. Seongwha's heard it all before.

"You're right," the elder starts softly, handing Mingi the plate of food he'd refused to touch. He sits on the other end of the couch, adjusting the blankets over Mingi’s legs with his free hand so it covers him completely. "I'm sorry."

Mingi moves to slap the plate out of his hand but Seonghwa expects that too, immediately moving it so it's out of harms way. He puts it on the table with a deep sigh. "You have to eat, Mingi."

Mingi shakes his head, desperate and angry. He can't even bring himself to speak. When he finds Mingi's mood has soured beyond repair, Seonghwa leaves and is immediately replaced by Wooyoung who also attempts to keep him fed but to no avail.

Seonghwa, Wooyoung, and Jongho take turns checking on him though Mingi makes it harder for all of them. Still, they don't stop. Not until Mingi is well enough to eat and take care of himself on his own. It takes months before he's back to functioning like a human being should but by then, their visits start to dwindle from daily to weekly to monthly until eventually, they stop completely.

Mingi thinks the real reason they didn't give up on him during that time isn't because of their friendship—no, they all stopped being friends twelve years ago when those of them that hadn’t died parted ways without a single word. No, the reason is because of Yunho. He made it clear that Mingi was to be taken care of in his absence when he stabbed that dagger through Mingi's heart.

The reason the others actually followed through wasn't because they cared about him; it was because they felt guilty and partly responsible for everything that happened.

"Mingi?"

He looks up as Jongho calls his name, frowning. "Yes?"

"Your thoughts on the predetermined distribution of land?"

Mingi looks down at the map spread over the table, marked messily in black ink. "I don't care." He says. "I'll take whatevers left."

"Then I propose we leave the citizens that wish to remain brainwashed in Thunders capable hands." Seonghwa points to the different sectors marked on the map, splitting the country down in the middle and marking it as Thunders.

Wooyoung nods, pointing to the areas housing the unbrainwashed citizens who have no government to rule them. "I say we split the different sectors here between us. The Black Pirates can taje the largest sectors.”

"I want Sector One." Seonghwa interrupts. "You can do with the others as you wish."

No one protests. The reason why is quite obvious to anyone who met ATEEZ before half of their members were wiped out: when Seonghwa and Hongjoong were coming up with plans to unbrainwash the citizens, they'd been dreaming of living in the first sector and ruling over it. Sector One was where their base was once located, before everything went to hell. The reason behind Seonghwa's decision is not lost on Mingi.

"I'll take Sector Two." Wooyoung hesitantly mumbles.

"Sector Three." Jongho immediately backs, and Mingi realizes with a start that they're picking the regions of land closest to Seonghwa's. Closest to their old base. They're trying not to split apart whatevers left of their pitiful group and it warms Mingi's frosted heart, no matter how much he wants to pretend otherwise.

Every eye in the room turns to Mingi, who remains silent seated at the round table. It's Thunder who breaks the silence, clearing her throat. "Mingi can take Sector Four then, is that alright?"

She's speaking so gently, like he's afraid he'll crumble before their eyes. Maybe he will. He ought to, one of these days, maybe having a meltdown at one such meeting will finally get them all to stay away from him.

He nods his head, ever so slowly, and ignores the way the others seem relieved by his answer.

When the meeting is over, Mingi is the first to leave. He always is, never staying long enough to socialize because of how drained he is by the end of it. He goes home to an empty apartment and a cold bed, refusing to turn on the TV for fear of seeing a single thing about Yunho. The first time he did was the night of his death.

Big mistake.

He’d been hoping to find a distraction; something to fill the all encompassing silence his apartment provided. He was hoping to put on some music but as soon as he turned on the TV the news started blaring out everything he knew in cruel, rancid detail. It was like a big fuck you from the universe. 

The infamous member of the Black Pirates, Jeong Yunho, declared dead

The link keeping unconscious the citizens of Sector One, Two, Three, and Four broken

A national city-wide awakening is underway

The Black Pirates finally come to the agreement to kill one of their own after twelve years of discussion

Mingi is a selfish man. In that moment, he didn't care that entire cities were asleep and under Yunho's control. He hadn't cared then and he doesn't still but the world does.

They called it the Massacre of 2420. Ninety-thousand twenty-four deaths of Guardians and Z's conspirators, caused by the innocent civilians in Sectors one, two, three, and four. Innocent civilians that—under Jeong Yunho's control—committed murder the likes of which were never seen.

The world celebrates Yunho's death, though he is honored by festivals and holidays they name after him. At the end of the day, all that matters to Mingi is that Yunho isn't here and when he sleeps, it's with Yunho's treasured book in his arms, only because it holds a hint of his smell, even after all these years.

Notes:

don’t kill me pls i can’t help that i love death and tragedy

id love to hear your thoughts, the good and the bad :)