Navarre’s most valuable weapons

by Obssesivecompulsive

Summary:

Xaden is three years older than Violet in this AU, so they did not cross paths at Basgiath.
But that doesn’t mean that he didn’t keep an eye on the rider that his life hinges upon.

Making everyone believe he is a loyal officer in Navarre’s rank proves to be easier than understanding the woman he thought was just a miniature version of her mother that he loathes so much.

 

Violet has done what she must during her years in Basgiath to survive, and from the outside looking in she is the most loyal weapon Navarre could have ever hoped for.

Apart they are deadly, but together they are a force to be reckoned with.

Notes:

Alright so I was stuck halfway through my next chapter of Fated or Mated and I decided to do a writing sprint to throw me out of my funk.

This is what came out.
All in one sitting.
I was a little surprised and pretty intrigued about the whole idea so I thought I would share it.

Hope you enjoy what has the makings to be a slightly unhinged story.

Chapter 1: Gold is overrated

Xaden:

 

You will stop fidgeting. My rider is not a nervous boy that needs to fiddle with his jacket every second.

I throw my hands down to my sides in response to Sgaeyl’s admonishment. She's right, I am not a nervous boy, but perhaps I am a nervous man.
At 27 years old this is the first time I’ve had to set foot back in this wretched castle filled with fucked up memories and the ghost of my father screaming as he burned. I fight down the nausea that hits my stomach when the phantom smell of charred flesh crosses my nose.
I have no idea what I’ve done to deserve this, being made to come here for this stupid inane ball in the crown prince's honor. At the behest of the royal prick himself. No doubt it is just a move to make sure I understand exactly what I am in the eyes of all the royals. Even when he takes over, the hatred of my people will still run deep.
The only silver lining of this entire waste of time is that I might see King Tauri and his failing health. The old coward is finally ready to meet Malek, and I would just love it if Zinnal blessed me and lets me be whiteness to it tonight.

You do not have that kind of luck Lieutenant.

I snort at my dragon's true words. I really don’t. If anything I have the opposite, if there was a God that was the mirror image of Zinnal, that would be the one that would seem to favor me.

My father is dead, all of my friends' parents are dead, my home might still secretly exist but we are not able to even visit for more than a day at a time, and that is only when we sneak there. Which hasn’t happened for me in almost a year. All of my friends and family are scattered around Navarre at different outposts since they won’t let us near each other, and I have to pretend to be a loyal and unquestioning Lieutenant in Navarre's army.
A part I have sadly played quite well, so well in fact that the men and women at my nice midland post I’ve been at for the past three years have begrudgingly come to like me.

A sentiment we do not share.

Even the invite to this stupid fucking ball can be seen as a reward for my ‘bravery’ and ‘selflessness’ for my acts against the gryphons when I was sent to Chakir for a week, even if that was all a shit show of pure chaos once my allies realized it was me flying towards them. But I ‘fought’ them back with no casualties or injuries, saving oh so many lives in the process. If I were anyone else I would have received a medal, but alas, I am me.
The great betrayer's son.
Xaden Riorson.
Shadow wielder, face of the Tyrrish everyone loathes— Do not forget dramatic, and bonded to a legend amongst her kind.

I make sure the smirk I am wearing is gone by the time I reach the grand ballroom doors. I didn’t look around at all as I walked the halls of this opulent gold castle built on the ashes of all the people beyond the wards. I just need to get in, pretend it’s an honor, avoid talking to any princes, and leave. I’m due to report to my new outpost in two days. I’ll finally be at the front full time since the weakness I am tethered to is graduating and even having to finally meet her can’t bring down my good mood.
I could give a fuck about the larger threat of Venin in Samara, I’m finally going to get back a little piece of home.

My thoughts are interrupted as the doors swing open before I can reach out my hand. A man in gold finery hits a staff against the stone flooring to call attention to us and I grit my teeth.
Fucking royals.

“Lieutenant Xaden Riorson.” The man bellows and I can already see nobles leaning in to each other to whisper about the great dirty traitor as I step into the room exuding nothing but confidence.

It takes ten minutes for me to circle the large room while dodging older men and women who seem to be interested in me. My reputation at Basgiath was one of ruthlessness and fear, how in the fuck have I fallen so far that these people don’t realize they should leave me the fuck alone?

It is the part we play shadowed one.
Sgaeyl reminds me as I pluck some light color drink from a servant and hope with all of my being it's some sort is spirit that can dampen my senses.

I feel her amusement shoot through me and send a questioning nudge down our bond. She rarely finds my inner musings comedic.

My mate has arrived.
I stiffen at her words and my eyes shoot through the room as if somehow she would have slipped in here without me noticing.

Is she coming to the ball?
My question hits a stone wall where our connection lives and I groan internally.
Can’t even wait to mount each other until I am safely beyond the reach of these pricks and now the daughter of a woman who actively wants me dead is here?

I only have to pace leisurely by the wall for fifteen minutes until I hear the creak of the doors swinging open once more and my head swivels with all of the other idiots in the room to see who’s joining us.

“Miss Violet Sorrengail!”
The loud man yells again and before I see the woman I have completely ignored and avoided for three years walk in I smirk at the lack of care for her rank. Freshly graduated, she is now also a lieutenant, but I guess having a general for a mother makes others see you as more than a cog in their machine.

I fight my face when my eyes widen as I finally catch sight of her. Too many thoughts run through my head and none of them are of vengeance and hatred like I wanted. Her light brown hair cascades around her like a beautiful shroud, the silver tips at the end have me intrigued immensely even though I had heard about her weird physical quirk, and my eyes follow the tips as they curl softly to frame her face elegantly.
Her gods damned face.
I wanted it to be the General looking back at me, fuck I’d even take Brennan staring at me at this point.
Anything but the beautiful creature I have hated from a distance for so long.
She's petite.
Small.
Tiny as fuck honestly. Her soft face is set in a look of defiance at the man who called her ‘Miss’ and her eyes shine from the anger that I shouldn’t find so appealing. The dark blue dress that hugs her curved and honed body leaves little to the imagination and the fluttering in my stomach has me feeling as if I am in fact a boy again.
Being a traitor's son hasn’t lessened the number of women willing to sleep with me. In fact, for some, I believe that is the only reason they deign to lower themselves for a Riorson, but I take whatever they give because I couldn’t give two fucks about any of them in turn. I sated my needs as I buried myself between their thighs and forgot their faces afterwards but Dunne save me I don’t think I could forget hers.
It’s as if Amari herself sculpted the woman just for me, made her a fucking Sorrengail, and then sat back on her throne in the sky to laugh at my misfortune.

I’m brought out of my trance as I hear a voice from beside me and I immediately throw shadows around myself when I hear the name hissed quietly.

“Halden.”
Just what I needed. A weird attraction to the spawn of evil incarnate, and the asshole almost King standing just feet away from me.

“Leave her alone, she’s made it perfectly clear where you stand with her.”
Another man who looks a lot like Halden says from his right.
I’m going to take the mental leap and assume that this is his younger brother Camdon, whom I've never met. I know it’s not fucking Alic, since he died by my hand years ago.

“I just want to talk to her.” The crown Prince mutters with a smirk as his eyes track Sorrengail where she walks through the throng of people.
“Don’t be an idiot.” His brother says with way more bite than I would have figured for someone talking to the royal prick. Maybe there is one Tauri that isn’t a spineless fuck.
“You are about to be King, you need her and you fucking know it.” The man growls. “You should be doing everything in your power to make her like you, but mark my words, Hal, fuck with Violet and you will regret it.”

The words make my gaze flicker over to the little rider smiling and shaking hands with the nobles around her. Such a different tactic than I went with, but then again she probably knows them all because of her mother. I have kept tabs on her while she was still at Basgiath, I had to. Her life is my life because the Gods fucking hate me, and I guess they hate her too because we are both going to be taking some very serious risks soon, for very different reasons.
From what I heard, she almost died a lot during challenges, bonded to the huge fucking asshole my dragon calls a mate, and then kept almost dying because of her lack of skill.
Liam assured me after I asked for his help watching her that he would teach her everything he knew, and since I taught him, I thought that it would be enough.
Or I'd randomly drop dead in the control room at my post.
After the shit that I have been through, I was relatively happy either way.

His briefings became a lot more curt over the years, just updating me on her signet and the small threats she received from other cadets. I didn’t have to use my other little gift to know that he had become attached to her.

Which told me she was too nice, and too trusting to be a rider. But here she is. Graduated, and apparently not one to be fucked with.
Curious.

I clamp down on my urge to open my shields and read every fucker in the room, especially the royals walking past me. I have no idea what the signets are for riders stationed here, but I know for a fact there are more intinsics running around than they would have us believe.
One slip-up in front of the wrong person and they'd finally get to kill me.
I'd rather finally get a chance to become a true traitor before that happens.

I down my entire drink and make a face at the weak shit they are serving. I grab another as I make my way towards the woman I have dreaded meeting. Might as well get this over with.
I greedily gulp down more liquid and hand my empty glass to some beady-eyed man who just had the misfortune of standing near me.

“Miss Sorrengail. What a pleasure to finally meet you.”
I drawl out in a smooth voice effectively ending the conversation she was having with some other woman. To my surprise, I find no anger, or annoyance in her bright eyes as she turns my way.

“Xaden Riorson,” she says in a tinkling voice that I try not to think about. Why the fuck would I care how my name sounds when she says it? Why am I slightly happy she isn't treating me like shit? I get lost in her hazel eyes as I see the amber and blue swirl together in a hypnotizing dance.

“I believe I've tried to meet you at least a dozen times, so it should be me with the witty remarks on my pleasure.”

My eyes widen a bit as she smirks. Okay, this is..different than I expected.

“Well, excuse me for thinking your invites to meet were a poorly crafted ruse to finally kill me.” My smile is teasing but my words are honest. Not only did I not want to meet with a Sorrengail that isn't Brennan, but after she manifested, news of the loyal daughter of Navarre reached every outpost. I didn't need to hurry up our inevitable strained partnership. Even now as I recklessly have this conversation in the middle of a crowded room, I don't know exactly what to say.
I can't really say anything, and if she is smart she won't say anything to me. I have to keep her from finding out just how much we aren't on the same side without killing her, and I feel like that's going to be one annoying fucking task.

Her laugh slides down my spine as she leans in further. “And why would I want to kill you? We are tethered until death, and you are a loyal Lieutenant in Navarre's army.”
Her words are good, but there is something about her tone that makes me bristle. I lower my shields just a little, just to see into her mind quickly. To glean if she really knows something or if this is all just posturing, but I reach nothing except for a stone wall.
Well at least she is good at shielding, that's something.

“Your mother captured my father and essentially killed him,” I say with no feeling. Those are just facts that I have thought about over and over for years. I am no longer consumed by my need for revenge, I am playing the long game.

She shrugs like she also doesn't care, “and your father killed my brother. Mistakes were made on both sides.”

I ignore her very wrong comment about the man currently living in my house as I narrow my eyes at her. ‘Mistakes’?
As she thinks her mother's part in the war was a mistake? Maybe I should have talked to her sooner.

I told you that over a dozen times, but you never seem to take advice from a being that is smarter than you.

I internally roll my eyes at Sgaeyl's commentary.
Says the oh so intelligent being that shut me out whilst I needed you just so you could do dirty things with your mate.

She chuffs at me and I'm brought back into my current conversation when I feel Sorrengail's dress brush over my shoes as she steps even closer to me.

“Perhaps once you get to know me at Samara, you will regret not meeting me sooner,” she murmurs with a sly smile and I refrain from telling her I already fucking regret it.
I hear a loud throat clear and an annoying man saying, “My little flower.”
I see a flash of fucking rage on her face, before she wipes it clean, gives me a look of disdain, and turns on her heel to greet the Crown Prince.

“Halden, thank you for inviting me,” she says dipping into a curtsey.

“Nonsense,” he replies waving his hand at her, and even if I didn't hear his conversation minutes ago, I would be able to tell he feels a certain way about her. I feel a small twinge in my gut that I brush away and tell myself it's only because I can not be forced into a partnership with someone who would ever have a relationship with a royal. My luck can't be that bad, can it?

“I planned it right after your graduation so you could attend,” he says with a smile and I try not to grimace at how fucking pathetic that just sounded.

“Was he bothering you?” he juts his chin at me and I make sure my face is wiped clean of all emotion. “He was hiding until you came in, so I thought I'd come and save you.”
I clench my teeth at the prick. He's one to talk, I didn't see him anywhere until she was announced either. My hidden signet reaches out to his mind of its own accord since I didn't rebuild my shields.

He is only here to show them both who is really the most powerful. No matter what he can do, I will always have the last word. Violet needs to see she should willingly tie herself to me so we can control the man she must work with.

Fucking prick. No one controls me. Not even the woman I can't kill because of our intertwined fate. I knew being tethered to a Sorrengail would be even more dangerous than my plans across the wards. Before I can reply and possibly be more of an ass than I should be she snaps a quick “No.” as she levels cold eyes on me that look so different than just moments ago, I feel as if I might be going crazy.

“We were talking about our new post that we will be going to together,” she says in clear distaste as Halden mirrors her look.
“The front will be very lucky to have me.” I say and slightly pause, “and I guess Sorrengail here as well.” I say dismissively. That wasn't nearly as hostile as I wanted to be. I can survive this night if I stop reading Prince fuck faces mind.
Halden looks as if he is about to say some shit to me that I might secretly want, it's been too long since I got in a proper fight. Wouldn't it be fun to show the new lieutenant just how uncontrollable I am?

That would be very stupid.

I don't reply, because we both know she's right, and weirdly enough Sorrengail interjects.
“Let's go, Hal, I have one more night before I have to spend the rest of my time with him. Tell me of all the fun court gossip I've missed out on these years.”
She starts to drag him away by the elbow but I see her throw her head over her shoulder as he talks and she winks at me.

Suddenly all the plans I had for my time at Samara are being questioned in a nervous flurry in my mind.
Why in the fuck does it seem like the little lightning wielder and beloved of Navarre might be more on my side than I ever thought she would? Also, is the tiny vixen manipulating the future King of Navarre?

Tell me everything you know about her.
I growl at my dragon as I retreat into my shadowy corner to watch the woman in question.

No
She says in a clipped tone.
You had many chances to find out, and I will not betray the promise I made to my mate. Figure it out on your own, Shadowed one.

 

——————

 

Violet:

 

I make my way calmly back to my room even if my anxiety has my heart feeling anything but calm.
Tonight's plan was just to distract Halden, not to get so distracted by the elusive and mysterious shadow wielder I've tried so hard to get to know since bonding my dragons.
I had no idea he would be here, neither did Aaric and the tingle meeting him sent through my spine is not something I should be feeling in the slightest. I throw open my door and lock it before finally rushing through the chambers to my room where hopefully if the Gods are in our favor, Aaric will be waiting for me.

I have told you that Molvic informed us that everything went smoothly
Tairn grumbles in my mind but I don't care, this is too important to mess up.

I blow out a huge breath when I see his piercing green eyes staring at me from his seat on my bed.

“Did you get it?” I huff out nervously as I rip the stupid heels from my feet and throw them into a corner.
He smiles and nods. “Yes, I did what we planned and made sure to tell Halden to leave you alone, which made him nearly run straight toward you. It gave me more than enough time to slip in and out of the royal vaults without being seen.”

I throw myself on the bed next to him in relief. “Thank the Gods, now let me see what that prick wanted so badly we just committed treason and theft for it.”
I hold out my hand and he drops the biggest diamond I have ever seen into my palm.
I shuffle it around with my fingers and furrow my brows.
“Seriously? Out of all the treasure and jewels your family has down there, he just wanted this?”

Aaric huffs out a laugh and takes it back into his fingers. “Apparently, but it's good for us. This isn't the only one down there, it won't be sorely missed.”
He shoves it unceremoniously into his pack and settles back onto my bed.

“Alright, you've now got the thing that will grant you admittance into King Courtlyn’s castle, but getting there and back is going to take more time than the six days off you have now before your third year begins-”

His smile cuts off my thought process and we've become way too close over the years for me not to know he has very good news. “You got him to agree?” My smile mirrors his now as he nods his head enthusiastically.
“I have leave for two weeks in light of my father's failing health. Halden can't go as planned just in case he dies, so I'm the only royal left.”
My smile falters slightly. “Aaric-” I start but he shakes his head as he pats my hand that's sitting on the bed. “No, I don't need any fake platitudes from you Vi. My father was and still currently is a cowardly man, and a terrible King.” I tilt my head, I mean he's not wrong, but you can still grieve over what could have been.
“If I want to feel sad, it will be in a very distant future when I have grown up and can accept what kind of man raised me.”

I squeeze his fingers. “That sounds pretty grown up to me,” he smirks as he runs his hands through his hair.
“Everything else go well tonight? Did Riorson try to talk to you again?”

I mask my guilty face. Did he talk to me? Technically no. But did I feel his eyes on me the entire night as I danced and flounced around the Prince like a royal loving fool? Yes.
I have no idea how I know it with such certainty, but I could practically feel his eyes on the back of my neck the entire evening, and I have to admit.
I didn't quite hate it.

“Everything went fine,” I say omitting everything I just thought. “Now go act like a Prince for the next two weeks Cam”
I smirk at the face he makes when I say his real name. Some people, mostly professors, in the quadrant know who he is now after his father found out he crossed the parapet and bonded a dragon, but he still prefers to try and be a normal rider. He wants no special treatment or association with our current King, and I don't blame him.
Just having the general as my mother makes me have to act in a certain way I loathe. But keeping up appearances is the only thing that affords me the little privacy I get to do what I must. Also, with the way I was raised, and the things I make myself say, no one would ever suspect perfect little Violet to regularly break every rule ever written.

 

I sigh as I finally lie down on my bed in a nightgown. This will probably be my last night sleeping alone, since Mira has made sure to tell me every detail of her first year out of the quadrant. I've finally graduated and it feels as if my life is over.
My friends are all spread throughout the provinces. The only person I hope to see from time to time is Sawyer. His signet had him sent out on more than one occasion to help fix weaponry, turrets, and the metal gates that usually surround outposts. But with Samara being so heavily hit, I would wager they have good upkeep on their defenses.

It has only just begun Silver One.
Tairn tries to remind me and snap me out of my depressive spiral.

You won't have to hide who you truly are so much now that there will be so much distance between you and the ones who watch.
Andarna chimes in sleepily and I smile to myself as I bid them both a goodnight.

They are right of course, and Basgiath was literal hell, but it was one I was used to.
What if the lightning wielder isn't cut out for the real world and its horrors?

I close my eyes and try to think of anything but the onyx ones I couldn't stop staring at as we talked.
I bet Xaden Riorson never gets nervous.

 

———

 

The next morning I put on my armor under my leathers, sheath every weapon I've earned, and prepare myself as if I'm going into battle. Today I will finally fly to my new post and I need all of the confidence I can get.
I quickly braid my hair into its coronet crown before I walk through the halls trying to avoid any royals, even Aaric. Where he is, his brother will be lurking behind him closely.
I know Halden wants the rider who wields the most powerful signet of my generation, he wants me to bend and shape to his will like the old Violet did when I had the misfortune of dating him.
The only reason I give him any sort of attention is to use him when it's necessary, but I'm seriously hoping that I don't have to see him again for a very long time.

I stop at the statues on my way to the courtyard where I'll meet my dragons and bow my head in front of the regal depicture of Amari. I do something I never would have fathomed and send up a silent prayer that the King makes a magical recovery.
He might be a dangerous idiot, but his son is just dangerous.

 

You will have company on your departure.

My heart thrums a little at the prospect of seeing Riorson again, even though I know I'm about to be stuck with him for years to come. I've heard so many horror stories of the merciless and terrifying Wingleader that stalked the halls of Basgiath before me.
I wonder how angry he would be if he knew that Liam also told me many stories about him when they were fostered together? I smile at the prospect of confusing him even further.

I have no doubts that he thinks I'm just a miniature General Sorrengail, and I don't blame him in the slightest. It's the character I portray when I'm around watchful eyes. But if I am to get him to trust me then he has to realize that it's only an act.
Just as I know the dutiful rider some believe him to be is one too.

He looks formidable, and a lot more sure of himself than the rule lover.

I snort at Andarna. I can't help but picture her scrutinizing stare as she waits for me. Most people get anxious around both my dragons. Two of the three most powerful black dragons in Navarre. Even if she is about half the size of Tairn.

For now. she says with a sniff.

But I have also heard stories about Xaden’s navy blue daggertail, and if only half the things her mate tells me are true, she is utterly terrifying all on her own.

It is all true, I chose well.

His unsaid words still ring through my mind. Unlike you.
I make a face as I walk into the courtyard. I'm not having that conversation again. I have been told what to do by my mother my entire life, and then leadership at school, and then my ancient moody dragon after I bonded.
I will not let them tell me who I should or shouldn't date.

Even if I'm not even sure I still like him.
I push that thought away, it's only because of the distance and barely seeing each other. I tell myself.

I flick my eyes over to Andarna who is perched on the edge of the courtyard wall staring intently at Xaden and instead of walking to her, I veer slightly to the right to say hello to Mister Dark and mysterious.

“Have a restful night sleeping in the castle?” I ask sweetly. I'm certain he knew I was coming right when I stepped out into the courtyard. The powers of his shadows are well-known, and I don't think anyone could sneak up on the man.
I also know my question is absolute shit, because how could he ever sleep soundly in a place where his father was killed? I just want to see how deep the mask he wears goes.
Will it be easy to break down his stoic and broody walls?
He turns to me with an amused smirk, “Of course, who wouldn't feel safe in such a fine place?”

Okay, I got my answer, and even though it makes my life a little bit harder I'm slightly happy that he isn't a man who is ruled by his emotions.

I make a noise of agreement in my throat, “I was pleasantly surprised to find that the mattresses in the guest quarters were not also made of solid gold.”
His smirk lifts just a little bit more at my joke and then he narrows his eyes.

“From the way our conversation ended last night, I was sure that this would be a lot more unpleasant.”

I scoff at him. I mean, if he can't see that I only acted a certain way when Halden walked up because he is too blinded by my last name then maybe I overestimated the shadow wielders' intelligence.

“I think you mean ‘thank you Violet for saving me from having to talk to the Prince any longer the necessary’.

He steps in closer to me as I hear something huge land in the courtyard behind us. From the lack of communication, I'm going to assume it's Sgaeyl and not even look her way.

“Why would I thank you when I think you are definitely up to something and this whole flirty, nice demeanor is a ploy to get me to trust you?”

He is not totally wrong, but not quite right either. I do need him to trust me so he will divulge his secrets. I had planned on just being nice and maybe a little mysterious so that he would want to learn more and more about me.
I have no idea where he is getting the ‘flirty’ thing from.

I bat my eyelashes dramatically as I step right into his personal space.
“You haven't even seen me that nice yet Riorson.”

Okay, maybe I am coming across a little bold. I have no idea why everything I say comes out dripping in some kind of sexual tension with a man I have met twice now.
It's really unlike me, and I'm not quite sure how to stop it.

“That is what I'm talking about,” he whispers now as if he's about to say something he doesn't want overheard. “What is the daughter of General Sorrengail doing being so courteous to a traitor's son like me?”

I give a small lift to my shoulders. “What is the son of a traitor doing being so loyal to Navarre? It's almost as if we are not all exactly as we seem Lieutenant.” I give him a wry smile, “Aren't you so excited to get to know me now?”

His confused expression turns into slight amusement as he opens his mouth to respond until we hear someone yell ‘Vi!’ and I jump back as if I were caught doing something nefarious.
And in a small way, I was, because I should not be accidentally flirting with this man, especially out in the open like this.
And even more especially not while my sort of boyfriend is running towards me.

I take like ten steps away from Xaden to distance this awkward encounter from him.
“Dain.” I breathe out right before he almost tackles me to the ground in a crushing hug.

It's been six months since his short leave to visit me at Basgiath. We knew after he graduated last year that this would be difficult, but Dain convinced me that we could ‘pull through anything’. But from all the thoughts I have about him lately I'm pretty sure he was wrong.

It's not just the fact we can't see each other, it's all the damned secrets we keep from one another as well. I learned things early on in the quadrant that I swore I wouldn't tell, and with his signet, he has been pulled away for interrogations well before his graduation. We just keep huge parts of ourselves closed off, and it feels like we are barely even best friends anymore.

“When I didn't see you last night I assumed you were somewhere on Tauri’s orders,” I say wheezing because of his vicelike arms. He finally lets meet go and looks me up and down quickly. “I was, didn't get back until late last night.” Last night? As in I could have spent a night with my boyfriend instead of pondering about the damn dark-haired man somewhere behind me?

He sees the look on my face and offers me an apologetic smile. “I didn't want to wake you, it was so late and I would feel bad having you start at your new post unrested.”

I clench my teeth at his soft words. I don't want hesitancy, I want an untamable passion that overwhelmed him so much being in my proximity that he couldn't stay away.
But I clamp my mouth shut, because I am not having this conversation right this second as Riorson can probably hear us.

“Well, that's unfortunate. I missed you.” I say instead. His eyes flick behind me and I see his jaw tick. “I can't believe Halden invited that prick here.”
Dain fucking hates Xaden.
All those horror stories I heard? Most of them were from Dain's own mouth. He spent one year in Xadens Wing and it made a lasting impression.

“I am about to report for duty with that prick, so maybe don't start shit that I'll have to finish,” I mutter and Dain's eyes immediately go soft and worried for me.
He runs a hand down my cheek and I lean into the casual touch despite my slight anger at him. It's been so fucking long.
Hugging Rhi, and spooning Ridoc isn't the same damnit.
“I'm so worried Vi. Samara is brutal and even with the mating bond-” he pauses and pitches his voice lower. “I still don't trust him. He hates your family.”
I let the very small worry that Dain is right take over my face so he sees what he needs to let this go, at least for now. He has no idea who Liam is to Xaden. No clue that the man I became almost inseparable with during my second year is so loyal to the Wingleader he loathed beyond reason. I want to trust him when he assured me that his foster brother wouldn't damn himself by killing me out of vengeance, but if we are being honest with ourselves, my mother is such a huge bitch it's a bit hard not to hate her that much.

“Well I hate him, so we are even.” I lie.
“You are more than aware that I can take care of myself, and I'll test the theory of mutual destruction if one of us dies if I have to Dain.” his eyes still look pained but he gives me a curt nod. Gods even my own supposed boyfriend thinks I'm a raging bigot that has no problem with killing a man I don't really know just because of his last name.

“Good, be careful, write to me whenever you can, and I'll keep an eye on Rhiannon for you.”
I hold back the tears that threaten to spill at the mention of my best friend's name. She is stationed at the outpost closest to this one, and Dain visits it a lot to bring back the poor souls captured from beyond the wards.

“Thank you. I'll write once a week. Be safe.” I grab his neck to bring his head down to mine and touch my forehead to his.
Everything might be fucked up, I might be confused about my feelings towards him, but he will always be my oldest friend.
He will always be the man who finally believed in me before I walked onto that threshing field and my life changed forever.
Maybe we can find our way back to those people. Maybe I can stop hiding who I truly am so he can get to know the real me again.

You have grown Violet. You must be with someone who grows with you.

Her words strike with too much honesty and I close my eyes.
Which made me completely unprepared for the kiss that Dain pulls me in for, and when our lips touch I try to melt into him like I used to, but sadly my body feels more solid than ever as I hold his arms stiffly.

Damn.
It's me.
I'm the problem here.
He lets me go breathing heavily as if we just shared something out of this world and I try not to frown at the talk we are going to have to have very soon if I can't get my shit together.

“Love you,” he says pulling away and finally Tairn slams into the ground almost making me stumble when it shakes.

The distraction is just what I needed to not utter the words yet again.

You are welcome.
Tairn says in amusement as I shoot him a look.
He finally said it to me the day of his graduation, and even though I had been waiting for it for what seemed like years, in that moment, I realized I couldn't say it back.

I turn my back on Dain and officially throw the entire thing from my mind. I have bigger things to worry about currently.

I hear his boot steps walking away and I finally look back at the shadow wielder whom I had prayed would leave when Dain came out here, but of course, Zinnal has never favored me and his gaze seems to skewer me where I stand.
“What.” I snap at him like a petulant child.
His arrogant smirk only makes me angrier at myself and now at him. “Maybe you are exactly as you seem.” he throws my words back at me from earlier and I grit my teeth.

Before I can tell him to shut up his smirk widens into a wolfish grin. “That was also painfully awkward. For you more than me I'd wager.”

I hear Tairns' deep chuckle in my mind. He isn't wrong.

I flick my eyes to Anadarna and she throws herself from the ledge.
Just for that, you can fly to Samara alone.

I look at Xaden once more and refrain from slapping his stupid smiling face.

“Fuck off.”
I say before sprinting to the ledge right behind him and diving over the edge.
I really wish I had jumped facing him so I could see just how much I surprised the smile right off his face.
I slam onto the saddle atop Andarna with practiced ease and let out a small chuckle when I look up to see the emotionless shadow wielder almost hanging off the side to look for me.

That was amusing. Tairn states as he flies from the courtyard. I see him hover for a minute, no doubt waiting for his mate, and finally, the blue dragon leaps from the ledge with Xaden on her back.

His face looks pissed as Andarna flies in circles around them and I can't stop a laugh from ripping from my throat and getting lost in the wind.

Maybe I can make this year less dreadful than I thought it would be.
Maybe I can annoy Xaden Riorson so much, that he starts to begrudgingly like me.
If we have any chance of defeating the threat that looms outside our wards, it's together.

Chapter 2: Isn’t anger just a form of passion?

Summary:

Ahhhhhhhh. I have two chapters I’m currently almost finished with and I can’t seem to get them done, so I came back here to our dear Lieutenant’s hoping they would push me out of my funk.
Let’s see if it worked, and I hope you all enjoy the chapter that came about in one night with zero planning.

Violet:

 

The flight to Samara has my legs shaking and my ass sore, but as we touch down right in front of their entry gates I wipe my face clean of all the pain I feel. The long flight has given me the time to mull over every facet of my plan, as well as scare the shit out of the poor shadow wielder who I think is regretting every choice he's ever made that led him here to me.

Andarna looks formidable, and she is, but just like her very special rider, she has a slight physical disability that we would like to keep as quiet as possible while we are amongst the less friendly dragons stationed here. She can only hold a rider for about three hours before she tires, so when I felt her strength waning, I gave Xaden a little wave of my fingers from where he flew next to us before unbuckling my saddle, jumping into a free fall, and landing on an annoyed old man.

I have no issues displaying my strength early on to ensure the others think before they act.

That is the fifth time he has said that since we got our orders at graduation, and now I suspect he is bored and just wants a fight. Andarna makes a noise of displeasure through the bond before I can remind him again that while we are here, I want to stand out as little as possible. This will already be very difficult, seeing as he is him, I am me, and my unwilling counterpart is terrifying as well.

I can and will fight my own battles. She snarls with the attitude I've come to love dearly now that it's never pointed at me anymore. If they want to test me because I am young, it will be their mistake.

I send a resounding ‘hell yes!’ down the bond. Which is why I am her favorite.
I will always be on her side after she broke her body to keep me alive in my second year.

 

I love them both like family, hell more than some of my family, sorry mother.
But, just like he and Liam had to sit back and watch me fight rider after rider trying to end me, he has to let our little one prove herself.

I crack my back as I unsnap my saddle and then wince. Oh no, she definitely heard me—

I am not little.
Her voice is eerily quiet as she lands aggressively between Tairn and Sgaeyl.

I fly down Tairn’s leg and run to her other side as she huffs smoke from her nose angrily. I need to get between her and Xaden before he makes the serious mistake of just glancing her way during this tension-filled moment.

It's a euphemism Andarna, obviously you’re not little.

“What’s wrong?” Xaden says perfectly dismounting next to me and throwing his flight goggles around his neck. I give my dragon a serious look and her huge golden eyes even blink at me angrily.

“Nothing, just dragon stuff. You know how it is.” I mumble.

Yes, she seems perfectly capable of making rational decisions. I’m sorry for ever doubting it. Tairn says dryly and then she whirls on him. I huff out a sigh of relief. Thank Amari he never knows when to be quiet, or maybe he did it to help me save face in front of the confused man next to me. Wouldn’t it be just my luck that he got to see my awkward encounter with Dain and then me fighting with my own dragon all in one day.

“I don’t know how it is. Sgaeyl says Andarna is very young.” His brows pinch together as all the dragons leave in a loud flurry of smoke and wings beside us. “Is she more amenable? Because Sgaeyl came to me already very..” he pauses as if to choose his words carefully, and I understand completely, “severe.”

I snort and straighten my stature now that I don’t have to try and talk my way out of a bad situation. “Not in the slightest. I could also use the word severe.”
I make sure my shields are up even against my dragons before I think of what I’d more likely describe her as.
Impulsively chaotic.
He seems to think our conversation is over, turns his huge back to me, and walks towards the gate. I sigh at his tension-filled shoulders and walk briskly to keep pace with him.

“Any advice for a new lieutenant?” I ask lightheartedly. He doesn’t even spare me a glance as the infantry stationed at the gates swing them open for us. “I’m sure your mother gave you enough advice before being stationed at one of the most grueling outposts Navarre has to offer.”

Okay, it seems on our long flight here Xaden has also been thinking about our new partnership, but we have come to dramatically different conclusions. The interest he showed in me yesterday has seemed to evaporate, and I wonder if it’s because I’m trying too hard, or Dain's unfortunate timing. Knowing I’m in a relationship with an Aetos won’t win me any goodwill from him. Dain’s father is just as bad as my mother, but like me, his son is different.

“The last advice I got from my mother was three years ago when she stuck me on the parapet and said ‘Don’t die, and if you do happen to make it I can’t help you.’” I say the words as if they mean nothing to me, and they don’t anymore. The complete silence I got from the General during my tenure at her war college has lost its bite over the years.
He finally flicks his eyes to me before we approach a rider with patches indicating he is someone in leadership here. “Interesting.” Is all he mumbles before I slip on my Sorrengail mask of unwavering respect and I see Xaden stand straighter next to me.

“Riorson reporting for my new orders.” His deep voice has the man looking up from some papers in his hands to assess him and when they finally slide my way I take one step forward so I’m not so completely blocked by the damned giant to my left.

“Sorrengail reporting as well,” I add since Xaden didn’t seem to want to include me in the introductions. His brows flick up at my name and I see him look me over once more. I give him only five seconds to no doubt think about how small, frail, and very unlike my sister I look before I clear my throat to get his attention.

The rider licks his bottom lip and then flips a paper over in his hands. “Your duties don’t start until tomorrow, you can get settled in your rooms and look around if you would like.” He pauses to stare at us again and I clench my jaw at the word ‘room’. They held back one of the most powerful riders from coming here three years ago because he was tethered to me, and my signet was too ‘important’ to lose if he fell to the ‘gryphons’. I think my mother had something to do with it, which sends a host of mixed messages since she seems to loathe me, but I will not continue to get special treatment for any fucking reason. It’ll make the riders here hate me just as much as the ones at Basgiath did.

“You can not go into the control room unless on assignment. You can not leave the gates without permission. This is not school.” He says the last part skewering me with a glare. “We will not make sure you get to your duties on time, or hold your fucking hand. Some people may want to curry favor with the General, but just like all the great leaders of our army, I’ve never seen her give a shit about the unfortunate people stationed here, so I’m inclined to return the favor when it comes to her darling little girl.”
I hide the clench of my jaw at his scathing words. Mira was right of course.
Being the General's daughter is just going to make me prove myself that much more. It’s as if I’m starting all over again and Amari herself came down for the clouds to kick me off the ladder it took me so long to climb the last three years.
I open my mouth to kiss this pompous fuckers ass when he abruptly turns from me and looks at Xaden who is wearing a cocky stupid smirk.

“And you.” He starts narrowing his eyes and flicking his gaze to the arm I know is covered with a relic that matches Liam’s even though I have yet to see it fully. I’ve only peeked at the swirls going up his neck to end at his jaw, I’ve never seen a rebellion kid with such a huge relic. “Despite what the reports from your last outpost say, we’ll be watching you. No trouble, do your fucking job, and when people hate you, let them.”
His mouth turns up into a sneer at the end of his terrible fucking speech and I grip the end of a dagger strapped next to my waist.
Prick.
I might not know Xaden, and he might really hate me, but I’ve read stolen records from his last outpost, he was a model lieutenant. Never stepped out of line, never had his commander question his actions.
Never snapped the necks of any prejudice pricks I’m assuming were definitely there. The man deserves a medal for his control.
I keep all my thoughts safely inside my shielded mind as I give the shadow wielder a disdainful and untrustworthy look. I just keep repeating ‘I must I must I must.’ In my head as Xaden only pulls his lips into an even bigger smile and dips his head.

“Of course not Major. I’d be happy to prove my loyalty to my fellow riders here.”
I give him a weird look. I mean the words sound okay I guess, but unless this man is a fucking idiot then he can also hear the tone that seems to drip with threatening intent.
The major only nods his head curtly and I take it as my cue to interject again. “Will you be showing me to the barracks?” I hope with everything in me that when he said ‘room’ he just meant the large room housing all the new lieutenants that have been assigned here.
Mira told me you only get an actual room when you’ve been on active duty for at least two years, so Riorson should be the one who gets to have just one roommate. I’m fine with sharing my space with dozens of people. Integrating myself into the normal ranks and trying to make some fucking allies here.

He turns quickly on his heel and starts walking away from me and I refrain from making an annoyed noise in my throat. “No, the commander wants to keep his prize lightning wielder safe from the masses, so you’ll have private quarters.”
I throw out my entire respectful routine as I jog up next to him, “and does Lieutenant Riorson also get this same luxury?” I ask because I already know the answer, and it will further my argument along.
He barely looks at me as we turn down another hallway and I look over my shoulder to see if the man in question decided to follow us and find him leisurely walking behind us with that same face of indifference he wore yesterday.

“No, once we find someone who won’t murder him in his sleep, he will have a roommate.”
Oh, so never?
“So I’ll be alone then.” He murmurs echoing my thoughts and I have to hold back my snort because I can not be lumped in with the hated man no matter how much I need to work with him. To get anything done or have any help, one of us has to be slightly likable, and I have the huge suspicion that out of the two of us, it will be me.

That does not bode well for your plans here Silverone. My traitorous and sarcastic dragon says.
We make another turn and I try to catalog this route in my mind but I’m still reeling from my anger at being stored like some prized bottle of spirit that the commander will take out when he has something big to take care of. “I would like to formally request to be moved to the barracks, I do not want my own quarters and I don’t understand why you think I’m in danger here.”

“I’ve heard you’re in danger everywhere, Sorrengail.” Xaden drawls before the Major can talk. “So small and breakable, I think it’s a wise decision.” We stop in the middle of some hallway with a dozen doors down it and I turn around to look at the prick that is one half of this terrible union.
Is he being fucking for real? Does he want people to try to kill me because they think I'm weak and then die when at some point I make a mistake?
I give him angry incredulous eyes, “says the man who lived comfortably at your nice midland post for three years. Hopefully, you didn’t get too complacent, I would hate to drop dead because you have forgotten all the lessons you learned at Basgiath.”
My tone is disgusting and my words aren’t great, but in the moment I finally don’t feel the small tug of guilt as I act exactly like a Sorrengail would. The asshole deserves it.

He steps into my space almost blocking out the Major from my view and I crane my neck up to the treelike man while I defiantly set my jaw. I will not be intimidated. If it wasn’t for the pesky bond, I could have already killed him.
“I haven’t forgotten anything. But it seems as if you are so used to getting your way that you dare to ask the Commander to change his mind?”

I open up my mouth to spit more vitriol his way when the Major sighs loudly. “Fine, I’ll change you from your private room.” My eyebrows begin to furrow with surprise but I quickly smooth them out to nod respectfully at the man. “You can share with Riorson. You can’t kill each other, and have a vested interest in the other staying alive. Seems perfect.”
He motions toward the door behind me and my mouth pops open in horror as he starts to turn away. Shit, that can not happen. Something tells me that forced proximity is not the way to get to Xaden Riorson. I need him to seek me out and want to know more, not be forced to talk to me every minute of the fucking day.
Also, it’s going to be hard to hide things from him if we share a space.
“Never mind I’ll take the private room!” I blurt out to the major's retreating back. He doesn’t turn back around but I swear I can hear a laugh before he simply says “No” and turns the corner.

I look back at Riorson and even though I’ve just met him a day ago, I can tell he's angry below the facade he wears when people are around. He shoves me to the side to throw open the door and strides in wordlessly. I don’t say a word either as I shuffle in behind him and close the door with a soft click before turning around and throwing my back against it.
He throws his pack down on the bed to the far left which I’m assuming he is claiming and then turns around to throw his hand up toward me. A thin green sound shield flies over the door and I internally prepare myself for the verbal sparring that’s about to occur.

“I hope you’re fucking happy now Sorrengail.” I open my mouth but he apparently wasn’t done as he takes a step towards me. “We not only have to be stationed together until we fucking die, but while we are here now we have to live together. All because you couldn’t keep your fucking mouth shut.”

My anger rises and I fling myself from the door towards him. “All I was trying to do was be normal. I don’t want to alienate myself from the other riders and paint a target on my back. Our backs!” and I refuse to be kept under such a watchful eye even here. Refuse to go out there and murder gryphon riders when I know, no matter how much they hate me, that they are fighting monsters that Navarre chooses to ignore. I wonder if Xaden has the same line drawn as me, or if keeping up his ruse is more important to him than saving Poromish lives.
He scoffs and crosses his arms and the muscles bulge as he grips them. “Well, you’re not fucking normal lightning wielder. Get that through your head now, before your mouth fucks this up for us even more.”
I bristle at his condescending tone and make a noise in my throat. “I don’t want any special treatment because of my stupid mother, I—”
He cuts me off with a scathing laugh. “The fact that you think you can talk to a direct superior that way, lets me know you're used to a certain level of special treatment. I don’t know what game you’re trying to play. Treating me like a traitor and being the perfect little lieutenant—“

I roll my eyes and interrupt him. “Like you didn’t want to fucking strangle him as you smiled and batted your eyelashes like a good little boy.” His jaw clenches even tighter as he steps into my space. “The difference is I play my part well little Sorrengail. You need to be more consistent if you want people to believe you. You're either the dutiful soldier or the spoiled General's daughter. Pick one” he seethes. “And try not to drag me into your shit next time.”

Anger quickly passes through me again and I clench my hands into fists. I haven’t felt this level of emotion in ages. Honestly, I thought that my time in Basgiath killed the part of me that could burn hot with rage. Injustice is something I’ve come to know and expect out of this world, but something about this man just makes me want to strike him.

You should refrain from hitting him. Tairn mumbles as if bored with my dramatics.

Or do it now, so he knows better next time. Andarna says with bite mimicking my older dragon's words from earlier. I ignore both of them as I step even closer to the prick that is worming his way under my thick skin. “Then teach me oh great and powerful shadow wielder, because my shits your shit now too.” I tilt my lips up into a small smirk. “Show me how you tricked everyone in leadership into thinking a Riorson willingly bends the knee to our King.”

He quickly grabs my arms and I try to stiffen, I really fucking do. My body has been honed to know where a threat lies and everything about this man from his stupid perfect face to his lethal signet practically screams threat but I feel myself leaning even closer to him, making my chest slightly touch his with the movement.
“Do not say that shit around here. You’ll get us both fucking killed.”
His eyes burn with anger and something else I can’t place as I stare up into them. The gold flecks that I found so fascinating when we met have disappeared leaving two black pools for me to get lost in instead. “I’m not fucking stupid.” I bite out trying to hold onto my anger as something else crackles between us.
Something I haven’t felt since sneaking around with a certain crown prince when I was just 18, but this time it feels wildly more untamable. He dips his head incredibly close to my face and I fleetingly wonder what he’s doing while making absolutely no move to get out of his grasp. What the fuck has happened to me since I left Basgiath? Maybe I am fucking stupid. I can feel his breath on my ear as he leans in.
“Prove it Sorrengail, because I’m not convinced you’re as smart as everyone says you are.” I feel his grasp tighten on my arms and throw mine up to grip his wrists and feel something I’ve begrudgingly gotten used to since I bonded a mated dragon flare within my gut.

Please Tairn, wait until I can get the fuck out of this room. I beg my dragon that isn’t shielding his emotions from me. I hear his amused chuckle rumble through my mind.

I believe what you're feeling is the Lieutenant's fault, not mine.
My eyes widen and I hope Xaden doesn’t feel my heart rate quicken where our bodies touch. Fuck I am stupid. Why is this virtual stranger making me feel this way?
I am saved by having to do or say anything else when a knock pounds on our door and we both release each other abruptly. I take two steps back as he tilts his head to look at me scrutinizingly.
“Open up Xay! I know you’re here!” A booming voice yells with what I think is happiness. Damn, Xaden has more friends here than I do already? How did I become more unlikeable than the ‘great betrayer’s’ son?

Xaden whips his head toward the door with a small smirk on his face.
“Stop playing with yourself—”, the voice is cut off by Xaden throwing open the door and I snort at the man’s familiar words. Close friends then.

“Gar.” The asshole says quietly as I peer around his huge body to spy an even bigger man. Dear Amari, the man is more of a giant than the broody fucker currently being pulled into a hug. His head rests right over Xaden's shoulder so I get a good look at his face. Curly brown brown hair slightly obscures his eyes which look to be a light brown maybe hazel, I can’t tell because he closes them as he murmurs something quietly into the shadow wielder's ear. He is pale, which contrasts greatly with the tawny hue of Xaden's skin and I see a thin scar stretching down his neck right where his rebellion relic starts and disappears under his jacket. His is the second biggest relic I’ve seen after Xaden, that is if both of them go down their jacket-clad arms.

“I didn’t realize you already had company.” He says winking at me as they pull apart. “I tried to room with you when I heard you were coming, but they didn’t want us to start another rebellion at the outposts so—” he finishes the flippant comment with a shrug and a laugh huffs out of me. Gods, why couldn’t I get tethered to this Tyrrish man? He slightly reminds me of Liam with his satirical demeanor towards the true horrors of their childhood and it gives me a pang of longing for my shadow. This has been the longest I’ve ever been apart from him since after threshing.

Xadens mouth is set into a small smile and even though I think he’s trying to still be the somber assface he’s been all day, he can’t hide his happiness at seeing one of his friends and for a second I feel slight jealousy but then it’s washed away by the thought of how hard it must have been for all of them as they reached active service. Fuck they barely make it to active service, I heard of two being killed during war games their first year. I know very few get to be stationed together and this must be the only silver lining of being stationed here for the poor shadow wielder.
“But I see you acquired one that’s almost as pretty as me.”
He steps around Xaden and I offer him a friendly smile, oh if I can make him like me it’ll only piss off Xaden more, and probably make him have to talk to me more as well.
“I’m Violet,” I say reaching my hand out, I left off my last name on purpose. No need to hasten the wariness he will feel towards me once my other half gossips about me like a little schoolgirl.
He claps his hand into mine right when Xaden adds. “Sorrengail. Let’s not be rude and leave out important information.”
The large man’s grip tightens on my hand briefly before he lets go and his eyes become just slightly less friendly. “That’s..something.” He says slowly looking back at his friend.
“Yes, isn’t it?” Xaden says and they stare at each other as if communicating silently.
Really close friends. Gods I miss my squad.
The seconds tick by in awkward silence, and I find myself unable to stop from breaking it. “You can stop looking longingly into each other's eyes. I’ll leave.” My tone was supposed to be light and teasing, but the annoyance I feel pours through. I don’t feel like spending the rest of the night being judged only on my name by people who have very good reason, so I’ll go wander around by myself and try not to scare people away with my attitude.
“You looked different than I expected.” The large, so far nameless man murmurs. I shrug my shoulders as I start to rifle through my pack for a change of clothing, might as well make sure I don’t reek as I make my rounds through this shit hole. “What was it, the height or the hair?” I say pulling out nothing but black fabric. The rest of my shit will hopefully get there tomorrow, or I’ll be sleeping in sparring clothes.
Honestly I might anyway now that my roommate became so much more terrifying than a bunch of regular riders that I could take down easily.
Just because he can’t kill me doesn't mean he can’t hurt me. I made a promise to my overbearing grandmotherly dragon, and I hear him chuff and inwardly smirk that he is still listening.
I won’t outright tell Xaden everything I know and plan to do until he proves himself to be the ally I think he is.
He might trust his mate implicitly, but he doesn’t seem to have any for her rider.
Obviously, it’s not because of his last name, so it must be because of the things he saw when Riorson was at Basgiath. You would think a revered battle dragon would appreciate a little ruthlessness? Especially seeing who his mate is.

He is not as smart as Sgaeyl. he adds snappily.
Yes well, who is?
The man’s voice snaps me out of my thoughts. “Neither, I just figured you’d have that same sour expression your mother did as she captured my father and then watched the king kill him.” I can tell the comment is just bait for me to turn into a raging bitch, and act exactly how they think I should but I just turn on my heel and smirk at him.
“That’s the Generals' only expression, it’s not just reserved for when she’s committing atrocities.” I wave at myself as I smile. “I on the other hand thankfully learned how to pretend to have human emotions.” The left side of his mouth lifts in a tiny smirk that I count as a win.
“How fortunate.” He mumbles and I shrug as I clutch the clothes to my body.
“Thank my brother, you can send a prayer to Malek and I’m sure he’d deliver the message for you.” A not-so-subtle reminder that they weren’t the only ones who lost people during the war.
Yes, their loss was worse and I don’t blame them for Brennan dying, but he’s still gone all the same. His smirk widens as he looks at Xaden and I try to discern the look in his eyes.

“As fun as this has been, let's go Garrick.” The moody shit snaps, and starts to exit the room. “Try not to fucking kill us while I’m not around to keep an eye on you.” He calls over his shoulder.
As if I didn’t survive my entire life without Xaden fucking Riorson.

I throw myself at the small desk that sits between our two beds and grab some parchment and a pen out of my pack. I’m going to wait to bathe so it doesn’t seem like I’m stalking the two men down the halls.
I pause my hand over the blank sheet and tilt my head. Who should I write to first? I said I would write everyone weekly, which means a lot of letters but now I seem to have nothing to say.
Dear Rhi, I miss your face and everyone hates me.
Too pathetic, and possibly not true I’m just in a wallowing sort of mood.

Hello Dain, when we kiss it feels like nothing and I’m thinking of breaking up with you.
Also, my time at Basgiath seems to have mixed my signals of fear and lust and I want to jump on/pummel the broody shadow wielder that I’m also sharing a room with for the foreseeable future.

I throw the pen down and pinch the bridge of my nose. I thought I got through the hardest part of my life when I finally made it out of that death college, but now I'm worried that was only the start. Pushing all of my personal problems aside to only focus on the important shit we have to accomplish doesn't help ease the anxiety I'm starting to feel, because the largest cause of it is a 6-foot whatever angry, untrusting, man and I have no idea how to make him open up to me and trust me like his foster brother did years ago.

Start by not fighting with him.
I clench my jaw at Tairns extremely unhelpful words. It's not my fault, he is just so easy to fight with.

Andarna makes a small noise in my mind.
Just be yourself, you are caring and selfless in every way. That is why we chose you.

My heart melts a little at her soft voice but I throw my head in my hands where they sit on the desk. I don't think Xaden Riorson gives a fuck about caring and selfless, but I guess we can give it a try.

 

Xaden:

“Sorrengail? Seriously?” Garrick hisses right when the door shuts behind him and I shoot him a look before clearing my face when two other riders pass by us.

“Later.” I murmur and as we reach the end of a hallway I look around and realize I have no idea where I’m going. Garrick huffs and walks next to me pulling my arm to follow him to our left.

I do not like this. Sgaeyl says for the tenth time since Garrick showed up at my door.

Why? You told me my inner monologue was ‘insanely annoying’ on the flight over, this will give you a chance to be rid of me for a moment.

My limbs tingle with excitement. Not only do I get to see my best friend every day again, but with his hidden signet I can finally see my home.
The thought sends a thrill through me once more and I let him tug me down another hallway until we stop at what I think is his door until he swings it open and I’m looking at what seems to be a very forgotten supplies closet.

“Why?” Is all I ask before he looks around, pushes me inside, and follows slamming the door behind him. “I can’t walk from my room, I share it with a prick that is up my ass most of the time and I feel as if he would be slightly alarmed if I just walked out of existence twice a week”

I finally let a full grin fall on my face now that we are alone, and possibly too close in the cramped room. “You look good Gar.” He snorts and dramatically runs his hands through his hair. “You don’t, didn’t have time to keep up with your beauty regimen at your cushy little outpost?” I feel the first honest chuckle run through my chest in a long time and it makes my grin widen so much I feel my cheeks straining.

And what happens when you are attacked and dragonless?
I swear to Amari the two women I’m tethered to are determined to bring me down today.

Garrick will just walk us away. I snipe back.

“I’ve had no complaints about my looks,” I say jokingly. When I first saw him I was almost gobsmacked just from his mere presence. I knew I would be joining him, but a part of me worried that Navarre would rip him away just like they’ve done everything else in my life.
The scar that ripples with every swallow of his throat still makes me angry when I see it, even though it’s been there for a year now.
It’s a reminder that I wasn’t here to watch his back when the cowardly fucks that hate us tried to end him in the bathing chambers.

“Well, good thing I’m here to keep your ego in check.” I pull him into another hug that I let myself actually enjoy now that the annoying woman isn’t here watching. “I might be stuck with a fucking Sorrengail, but at least I’m finally here,” I murmur as we part ways again.
His eyebrows rise as he puckers his lips. “You going to tell me about that? I knew she would be stationed with you, but I expected a lot more hostility in that room than what I felt.”
I scoff and roll my eyes. “We were literally fighting before you knocked on the door. This is going to be fucking torture. Not to mention she keeps bringing shit up that makes me think she knows more than she’s supposed to.”

His eyes widen but I shake my head before he can ask. “I’ll tell you more after our walk.” He nods once and grabs my arms.

I still think—

Sgaeyl’s comment is cut off as the world tilts on its axis and I feel the ground beneath my feet vanish. For only a second I get the sensation of falling before I’m firmly on solid ground once more and I take in a deep breath and exhale.
The Aretian air even smells like home and I release Garrick to look around. My house still looks exactly the same as it always has, a huge fucking fortress carved into the side of a mountain.
The sight of its large metal doors sends a wave of nostalgia that hits me so hard I almost hear my father's voice yelling behind me. I welcome the memory instead of feeling the anguish that used to come with it and push my way inside with Garrick on my heels.

“So what does she know?” He asks immediately now that we both know it doesn’t matter who overhears us here. This place is unwarded, secretly thriving, and the only place I feel completely safe. “She’s made several comments alluding to her knowledge that I am not a loyal soldier of Navarre.” He just snorts as our boots click on the cobblestone flooring.
“That’s not a hard guess, I mean you’re a Riorson.” I tilt my head in agreement.
“Not to mention the multiple comments she’s made on not agreeing with her mother, and how the war was a mistake.” He purses his lips as we turn into the hallway and two guards give me wide eyes as I nod my head at them.
It won’t be long now that the other annoying Sorrengail in my life knows I’m here. “What she said about her mother, and then her brother was odd.” I glare at him as he looks at me.
“Try not to look like you think the fact that her brother is dead is hilarious next time she brings him up.”
He laughs and claps me on the back before we take the stairs up one level to get to my room. “Ah, so there will be a next time for all of us chatting? Is she going to be our new best friend?” I try not to let myself make a face at that comment. The fucker is just trying to get a rise out of me like he loves to do. “I have to be around her, we are bound to talk from time to time.”
I finally reach my door and take one second to look at the familiar sight before I throw it open and scan the room of a 17-year-old boy. This is the only place I’ll keep anything I actually treasure. I silently walk to my desk to peer down at all the things I’ve sent with my friends and family when they visit here. The blade I killed the prick Alic Tauri with, that was mostly out of trying to hide that it was me who did it.
All the patches I earned at Basgiath that I never adorned. Bodhi’s flight jacket I found in his room when I cleaned it out and couldn't make myself burn it. The bottle of spirit that Garrick and I killed by ourselves the night our deal went through with Tecarus. A book my father gave me that I took to Basgiath with me but worried it would be burned when I inevitably died during active service so I made them bring it back. My little carving of Sgaeyl that Liam made me two years ago.
Fuck, it’s been too long.
“It’s not because she happens to look drastically different than all the other Sorrengails and is objectively attractive?” I whirl back around at Garrick's words to say a lot of shit that might possibly be a lie, because he isn’t wrong. “Who’s objectively attractive?” A voice says from my doorway, and despite corresponding with the shit every week for the last six years, I find another grin tugging at my lips when I realize I might have slightly missed him.

“Aisereigh.” Both Garrick and I say at the same time and I surprise everyone in the room by taking his hand and throwing my right arm around his back for a very brief embrace. Fuck I might be more homesick than I’d realized.

“Navarre made you into hugger Xaden?” He says with amusement crinkling his eyes.
His expression suddenly falls as his lips thin. “Have you finally seen her? How is she?”
I fight not to roll my eyes, of course, he would be worried for his very aggravating and alluring sister.
“Oh, he’s seen her.” Garrick mutters and I don’t even look his way, his comment makes me and the lightning wielder sound way closer than we are. It’s been one very annoying and confusing day.
That’s it.
Brennan's amber eyes narrow at me, “What does that mean? Didn’t you both just get to the outpost?”
“Yes.” I snap before Garrick came say something else that’s wildly misconstrued. “We have to share a room because they are worried about her safety.” I say leaving out the entire fiasco that was her first impression on that dick of a Major. “She seems healthy, in one piece, exactly the same from the last time Liam updated you.” His shoulders sag at the news. If I were him I would still be worried as fuck, but I’m not going to say that so we can pivot to a conversation I’d rather have.
“How are they?” I ask and let the worry I’ve pushed down for years finally show in my face.
“You should ask me that dear husband.” A voice I loath and sadly know oh so well says from the doorway now. I pause before looking her way just to give myself one more moment of ignorance, and then turn to stare at Cat. “We aren’t married yet, so Lieutenant Riorson would be more appropriate.” My tone is icy and filled with all the barely kept anger I feel when I look into her eyes. She still looks exactly the same. Outwardly beautiful, with long black hair and olive skin that shines. But underneath it all, I know exactly what kind of woman she is, and it has put me off ever having a relationship with anyone for the rest of my life.
Not that I could, because she is supposed to be my last relationship.

“She’s been here for days waiting for you.” Brennan says unhappily as he stares at her as well.
“My condolences.” Garrick quips and Cat sneers at them both.

“It will happen soon Xaden. You have access to the girl now, just take her and come home to me.” I refrain from literally gagging at her calling my home hers. “That is not a part of our deal Cordella. I gave your uncle the dragons he so desperately needed, your city and school still stand because of my people, get the rest of them from Navarre's clutches and I will wed you.” No matter how much it will fucking kill me inside to do so.

“Leave us.” She snaps at the men staring at her in open hostility. “Fuck off,” Garrick says with incredulity and steps up next to me. “It would be a shame if you died Catriona.” Brennan says and then quietly adds, “but we can always make it look like an accident.”

She opens her mouth and I can just see it in her body language that she is going to screech for at least ten minutes about their attitudes toward her so I take in a deep breath and mentally prepare myself, which is easy since I never go anywhere without my dagger that can keep her mind work out. “It’s fine, I’ll meet you in the assembly room shortly.” I say to them and their faces say they think I’m crazy as her mouth upturns into a victorious smile.
She thinks she’s won something, or that her body is so alluring that I’ll ignore the entire personality it houses, but in reality, I just want to use my second signet to see what her uncle is up to without having to make Garrick walk me there.

They finally leave us alone and I casually walk to my desk and sit in the chair to face her.
“We already have most of your little marked ones, join me and we can get the rest together.” She murmurs in a low sultry voice as she sways her hips and walks to me.
“Fifteen.” I make no effort to hide my distaste for this entire encounter.
“That’s all you and your fliers have gotten for me. There are still over fifty that haven’t reached the quadrant yet, and every year you make them walk across that parapet and die is another year you won’t get what you truly want.”
Which is to be a queen. A thought of an idiotic out-of-touch woman, but one that I take advantage of no less. When I finally agreed to marry her after ending our betrothal once already, she and her uncle made it clear it was because they thought I was planning to walk the same path as my father and try to overthrow Navarre's rule in my province. I made no such promises, but might have thrown out some casual comments here and there that would give them that idea.
It goes to show you that even the people who fight and bleed beyond the wards can be blinded by power as they are drained by the threat we should all focus on.
I’ve put it off as long as I could, making them agree to a few certain things along with giving us the luminary and it was the best move I could have ever done for my people no matter how much it pains me.
I’ve had to make some of the Tyrrish sacrifice their lives to watch over their stupid ostentatious city, and all they have to do is keep attacking Navarre like they have been for centuries, but instead of stealing weapons we already have they must take what Navarre stole.
Our children.
Not a bad trade-off if I do say so myself, and the thought that the secret war we are fighting will probably kill me before I have to marry this woman gives me a little bit of solace as well.
She scoffs and then screws her lips into a pout. “We need you here Xaden, a true leader would help the rebellion make the right moves.” She means moves that she wants, but I ignore the comment. “I think the assembly does a fine job leading in my stead.” Or always if I have it my way. I’m meant for the skies, not a meeting table.
“What do you really want Cat?” I open up my shields and hone in on the woman as she steps even closer brushing her thighs against my knees.

“I just miss you Xaden.” I don’t think she realizes how little emotion she has in her voice as she says the words she thinks I want to hear.

This needs to move faster, it will be years before we can reach all of those fucking kids.

Her thought floats through my mind, but it doesn’t come as a surprise. I already knew it would be a hard task. Some of the younger marked ones foster families don’t want to part with the children they’ve come to love as their own. Sadly, that’s not the case for most of them and those are the ones they should be focused on retrieving now.
I can’t fake my death and join my people beyond the wards if there is even one innocent life stuck on the wrong side. I refuse, much to her and Tecarus’s dismay. I took responsibility for their lives all those years ago, and I will follow through with it until the day I die.
I don’t move my legs as she starts to press into me even more and I guess she takes that as an invitation as she steps apart straddling my thighs and sinks onto my lap.

She sees what I want her to, I have become so accustomed to not showing any real emotions it takes no effort at all to squash down my distaste at her touch. “I know you don’t believe me, not after the last time—” she stops talking when she feels my body stiffen. The last time, as in when she took my rune off my person and tried to bend my will to hers with force?
You would have thought that when all she found inside me was rage and no lust or want that she would’ve got the message about my feelings towards her.
“I don’t believe you because it’s not true Cat. You don’t miss me.” I sit up so that my chest brushes against hers and suddenly instead of focusing on my carefully crafted words, I’m thinking about earlier when me and Sorrengail were arguing and the anger in my twisted brain turned into something else. I wait for Sgaeyl to snap me out of my shit like she always does when I remember she isn’t here, Thank the Gods.
She’s already so done with my thoughts and it’s only been a day.
I move my head in close to her face and let my nose graze along her jaw until I reach her ear. “You just want me to remember how it was before I gained some self-respect and you lost me.”
I haven’t touched her since before I ended our marriage pact the first time, I will not be bullied into sleeping with someone until I absolutely have to.
Gods that thought was thoroughly depressing.
“Let me remind you.” She says breathlessly completely glossing over my actual words, like usual and I feel her hips start to grind into me.

No more fertility suppressant, if I can just get him to fuck me we could have an heir and he would have a reason to finally leave Navarre.

Understanding snaps in my mind and right before her lips touch mine my hand shoots up behind her and I grab a handful of her hair to stop her advancement. I don’t do it hard enough to hurt her, and the moan she makes at the action makes me grit my teeth.

“Do you think I’m fucking stupid Cat? So blinded by the need to fuck you that I don’t realize when you’re up to something?”
She reels back and her eyes search my face quickly before she gathers that the moment she wanted so much is officially over. “It’s no secret I find you attractive. You’ve been in my bed often enough.” Her eyes look calculating as if she’s still trying to figure out a way to convince me to fuck her.
It’s sad really. If I hadn’t been in her twisted fucking mind, I’d feel bad for her. “Not lately and for good reason Cordella. I won’t be getting anywhere near you until I have to.” I emphasize the word and see her eyes narrow. I release her hair and push her off my lap and she lands in a heap in front of me.
“You still have time to reconsider. Do you want this to be your future? A man that doesn’t want you and never will?” I say leaning down to look into her eyes.

I deserve this. I can rule our people and ensure Navarre's downfall, no matter what the costs.
The thought is one she has often, so it shouldn’t shock me but a little part of me doesn’t understand how either side can hold such grudges when we will all surely be dead soon anyway. No matter what signets we possess or how many weapons we make, there are never-ending numbers of Venin with a supply source that only runs out when we all turn to dust.

They’ve retreated for now, but who’s to say they won’t come back stronger in a month? That’s why this woman can never hold true power, because just like her uncle she is focused on fighting the wrongs Navarre's ancestors made, instead of putting it all aside to save all humankind.

“Never say never Xaden, I can be quite convincing.” She purrs with false confidence and I sigh as I lean back in my chair. “Just get out Cat. Stop trying to back out of our deal or I’ll take my dragons, keep the luminary, and never lay eyes on you again.”

She stands up and straightens out the tight red dress she’s wearing. “You would lose your only allies.” I just shrug and smirk at her. “And you’d lose the only thing keeping you all safe, so I’d listen to me.”

She finally, blessedly, leaves the room and I wait for five minutes before I go down to the assembly room. I try to push all thoughts of the woman aside and drink in more sights of my home and ready myself for hopefully good news about our people that are stationed in Cordyn.

 

—————

 

I listen to Sgaeyl’s angry harping for five whole minutes before I try to shut her out. I was gone for a lot longer than I had planned, which is stupid, reckless, the actions of a childish fool.
Yes yes, I get it, she’s right, but I had to be sure that my people were okay since I can’t send them any letters, and Brennan's comments on them over the years have been curt.

The next time our bond goes dormant for that long, I’ll assume you are dead and find a more worthy rider. She huffs breaking right through my shields as if they aren’t even there.

“Riorson?” A man I don’t know says in confusion as I walk back down the hall that leads to my room. “What?” I snap a little too harshly because I am constantly berated in my mind by an overbearing dragon. He looks back behind him and then at me again.
“I was told you were in your rooms, I just dropped off your duty assignments for the week.” He looks like he is about to hold out his hand to introduce himself, and then he takes a look at my bare arm makes a face of apprehension, and lets it fall back down to his side.

Fuck I forgot my flight jacket in Aretia.

“I’m Captain Wallens, I’ll be your direct superior for the time being.”

I morph my face into a look that is unreadable as I dip my head slightly. “Nice to meet you, I actually passed you right after you exited the rooms, but I forgot something so I’m headed back that way.”
Fucking Sorrengail, I know this is her doing.
His brows pinch together and I take a single step towards the wall to my right and call on my shadows to obscure me from view of this dimly lit hallway. “I wanted privacy, sorry for the confusion.” I let my shadows fade and his face instantly pales at my callous use of power, maybe whatever the impulsive woman said actually works in my favor. It’s always good for my superiors to know exactly what I’m capable of.
His cheeks slightly redden and I tilt my head and start to lower my shields but he sputters a few words and then finally gets out, “It’s fine, Lieutenant Sorrengail has the information, goodnight” and he practically runs away from me.
What the fuck was that?

I take the last few steps to my door and throw it open, the sudden noise and intrusion don’t seem to ruffle her in the slightest as she lounges on her bed reading a book.

“Why the hell did you tell that Captain I was in here?” I slam the door behind me and try to calm my anger, but something about this woman makes me lose all the control I’ve cultivated over the years. Her eyes barely flick up to me as she puts a finger on the page her eyes was skimming. “Because you disappeared with your friend for hours, and people noticed you dipshit.” She grabs a piece of parchment from the small table beside her bed that looks like it has scratched out scribbles all over it and shoves it into the book before snapping it closed.

“You didn’t think they would notice you were just gone?” She says quirking her eyebrow up at me. I don’t say anything back because as she shifted from her spot on the bed my eyes finally noticed exactly what she was wearing, or lack thereof.
All she has on his a huge worn black shirt and I can see all of the pale skin on her legs as she bends them to settle on her knees.
“I know you didn’t fly, I asked Tairn and your dragon was still here, but you missed dinner I didn’t have any answers when people asked me where you went, and then they realized Garrick wasn’t in the mess hall either.”

I blink my eyes slowly and try to snap myself out of whatever the fuck is currently happening to me right now. I’m acting like a child who hasn’t seen much more of a woman than this. What the fuck is wrong with me?

“Whose shirt is that?” I say before I can seem to stop myself and I internally cringe at the question. Her face screws up in confusion. “Why the fuck do you care? I had to make do until my clothes arrive tomorrow.” I shake my head and try to dispel all of the very wrong thoughts I’m having right now and blame it all on pent-up sexual frustration.
I need to walk around here and see who I can bed before this shit with Sorrengail can get any weirder.
“I was worried when someone else came to the door asking about you, so I stepped outside and told him you were in here.” She finishes quietly giving me an odd look.
“I’m sorry it created any problems with you Xaden, I—”
I cut her off with a wave of my hand and I finally make my legs move to sit on my bed across from her. “You lied for me?” She gives me an expression that clearly says ‘obviously’ but I still have trouble believing this woman who was raised by the General I hate, heard of her brothers death at the hands of my father, and is related to Mira Sorrengail whom I’ve had the displeasure of meeting briefly would actually be worried for me.

“Excluding the very real fact that our lives are intertwined Riorson, I told you before I’m not who you think I am.” I run my hands through my hair and think about her words and what Brennan told me about her tonight.
I know he wants to believe his little sister is a bleeding heart, loyal, and courageous person, but that’s just not how life tends to go for me.
But what if he’s fucking right?

I throw myself back into my pillows as she continues to stare at me with intensity. “What did you tell him I was doing in here? He fucking ran from me in the hallway.”

Her laugh rings out through the room as she settles back on her bed and rolls to her side propping her head up on her arm to look at me.

“I might have implied that you kicked me out of our room so that you could touch yourself in privacy.” I bark out a loud laugh that surprises me and her smile widens until I can see her perfect white teeth. “It was the only thing I could think of so that he wouldn’t burst through the door.” She makes a face of distaste and scrunches up her nose. I have to look away because the word adorable just flashed through my mind and I want to vomit at my own thoughts.

Now you feel my pain.
I ignore Sgaeyl as I stare up at the ceiling.
“For a Captain, he seemed rather spineless.” She finally says and I can’t help but glance back towards her. I find her already staring at me and the weird feeling I get right in the middle of my chest at her mesmerizing eyes makes me swallow harshly.

“First lesson little Sorrengail.” I drawl in a bored tone as if it doesn’t feel like my very soul is starting to melt from its icy prison. “They’re all fucking spineless. The hardest part is walking around here kissing ass like you couldn’t end every one of them with just a touch of your power.”

Her eyes dance in the mage light and the complete undivided attention she is giving me makes me think she is hanging off of every word I'm saying like it's actual advice, life or death.
In a way it is I suppose, because if she is like me and is hiding secrets that could get us killed even faster than this outpost, then she's going to need to work on hiding in plain sight.

We lock eyes once again and I try to stifle the small smirk I feel pulling at my lips. “Maybe I will consider a brief allyship between us.” she huffs out a small quiet laugh.
“There is nothing brief about the bond we are stuck with Riorson. Might as well make it easier on ourselves.” I nod in agreement and inwardly sigh at what I'm about to do. I still don't trust her, but maybe if I can make her think I do she will tell me all the secrets she has in that beautiful head of hers.

“Only within these walls.” I say quietly and she echoes the statement.

Chapter 3: Poison and awkward pauses

Summary:

How do I make up for weeks of radio silence?
Two fic updates in two days!
Whatttttt.

I banged this one out today to get my juices flowing to help me with I'm Only Human, and Secret for a Secret.

I am going to warn you all now partway through this chapter you might read something that you do not like.
You'll hate me, probably want to stop reading forever, and forget about poor obsessivecompulsive because she is a a terrible asshole.

But please just keep reading.
I mean trust me!
If you've read my other fics, have I ever really steered you wrong?

Don't answer that.

Hope you enjoy!!! ❤️

Violet:

“Sorrengail!” The gruff shout rips me from my dream and before I remember that I now have a roommate my hand grabs the knife from under my pillow and I lunge upward to thrust it into the shape in front of me I barely see because my eyes are still partially closed.
A firm grip grabs my wrist and my eyes finally comply and I'm staring at Xadens' look of anger and amusement. Expressions he mixes together and wears almost all the time around me that I've grown accustomed to them now.

“Why are you waking me up?” I grumble and wrench my wrist from his grasp. More like, why is he even here? Every morning he is gone before I rise, which is impressive considering I still keep scribe hours and wake up before dawn usually.
“You were laughing in your sleep, it was fucking creepy.” I frown at his words as he turns his back on me. Well if he knew whose dream I waltzed into, he would understand.
“You also slept in later than normal, so I thought I would be friendly and wake you up so you didn't miss breakfast.” I throw my blanket off me and stand to stretch.

“How do you know when I wake up? You're never even here,” I say with a yawn. He turns around with a smirk that drops instantly when he looks at me. How could I have already made that look cross his face when I have barely said two sentences to the man?
Despite his words that night one week ago, the ass barely utters anything to me unless I piss him off. If I didn't know any better by seeing him with Garrick, I'd think by his awkward stares and moody disposition that he didn't know how to have friends.

But we aren't friends are we? Allies is what he said, and I agreed to. Allies that still know nothing about one another because the fucker does nothing but grunt and glare.
That changes today.
I open my mouth to push his buttons even more. Not really a hard task, everything I seem to say or do makes his chiseled jaw clench, but before I can speak he just turns on the balls of his feet and slips from the room.
Okay then, I need him to be scarce for at least the breakfast portion of my plan.

 

This week dragged by without any more weird incidents. As in Xaden didn't disappear from the entire outpost again, but my dragon still won't clue me in on how the fuck he did it.

You want your secrets, let the boy have his.

Yes yes, I understand, but I am wildly curious what he and his slightly funny friend are up to. I haven't gotten another chance to really talk to Garrick again. I have taken Xaden's advice and retreated even further into my Sorrengail persona. Andarnas' sweet words about me not having to hide so much here were thrown out the window when I realized just how many people at this outpost fucking loathe the son of the great betrayer.
Step one, Infiltrate them. As I blearily walk from our room to the mess hall just ten minutes after Xadens' hasty retreat I make sure my face is set in the same look I always see on my mother's, and after five days of doing it, I only feel slight disgust at the action.
It wasn't really hard, all I had to do was be a complete asshole to my other half in front of most of the people stationed here, which immediately made the bigot pricks swarm to me, and the sympathetic ones tentatively reach out to Xaden much to his dismay.
Sadly the number of people who approached him after I loudly exclaimed my hatred for being stuck with him and his traitorous ways was very few compared to the ones I am now friends with.
Also, my new friends are fucking idiots.

“Sorrengail!” Lieutenant Pierson waves me over and I inwardly sigh. Here we go.
The only silver lining about having to be a raging bitch this early in the morning is that I finally get to dust off some of my old skills I haven't had to utilize in ages.

I walk up to the table with my severe and calculating look and nod to everyone as I take a seat. “Where are you at today?” he asks shoveling food into his mouth, thankfully watching Ridoc and Sawyer eat for the last three years has prepared me for the sight of a large number of men throwing food into their gullets as if this place won't feed them again.
“Patrol of the eastern gates,” I say looking around the mess hall for any sign of a relic-clad arm. The only thing I did learn this week about my tethered half was that the vibrant and slightly drool-inducing rebellion relic he has does indeed reach from his jaw all the way down his sculpted arm to end on his wrist.

I will not suffer through this again. Tairns' voice snaps me back to the loud raucous mess hall.

Then stop listening! I growl back and tighten my shields.
Back to the matter at hand, I don't want him or his friend watching me this dreary morning. I might not talk to either one of them much, but anytime we are all in a room together I can feel their eyes watching me.
It would be insulting if I didn't do the exact same thing. I'm just way too curious and know deep down in my gut they are up to something.

So are you. Andarna says chirply in my mind.
True.

 

“Henderson and Jenks are out there too,” Pierson says nodding down the table. Oh I know, which is why this is such a good plan.
“Oh really?” I say furrowing my brows. “Seems they are running out of places to put all of us. I thought I was stationed here because of how dangerous it was.” A woman sitting across from me snorts into her coffee. “Just wait, we have some quiet times where it seems as if we are all stepping on one another, but then you'll get two weeks straight of 18-hour patrols because the fucking birds can't seem to stay away.” I plaster a menacing smile on my face at the news I really don't love, “Well that's what I'm here for.” I let them chatter on and nod my head when I see others do the movement, my knee is tapping up and down as I wait for Peirson to stop gossiping and finish his breakfast.
This requires patience that I'm coming to realize I might have lost over the years.
I spy no Tyrrish men in the mess hall still and give myself one tiny moment to wonder about what the hell they are doing so much together.
Maybe they are a couple?
I give myself another moment to picture that, and I'm snapped out of my less-than-pure thoughts by Tairns' chuff of annoyance. Yeah, it must be hard seeing everything I think.
I refrain from jumping out of my seat when Pierson puts his empty cup on the table and tap my fingers lightly on it instead to get his attention.
His head swings my way and two lines appear between his brows. “You good Sorrengail? You seem quiet today.”
Am I? I have a plan in the works to get closer to Xaden, I have another to meet someone tonight since I have leave for just one fucking day this week, and I'm hoping that Zinnal is in my favor and ensures Xaden does not get leave on the same day so he can't follow me.

“Just tired,” I say fake yawning.
Sort of.
“Want a refill?” I nod towards his cup as I move to stand. “I need something to get me through patrol.” he nods and pushes the mug towards me.
“You're telling me, at least you get to be outside with two normal riders. I'm stuck in control all day with fucking Riorson.” His sneer at Xaden's name pulls up into a cruel smile. “Better be glad I like you, or he might not have come out of there alive.”

I let out what I hope isn't a strained chuckle as I whirl around and then drop my face. Oh, the prick should be happy I'm doing this to him, because even he knows deep under all the false bravado that if he opened his mouth and said the wrong thing Xaden could kill him with half a fucking thought.

I pour the hot liquid into two separate cups and then add a fuck ton of sugar to mine.
I wasn't lying, I really do need this to get through today. As I stir my coffee I move my hand to my hair to readjust the braid I let hang over my shoulder this morning and grab the small bag of powder I hid between the strands.

Really a tiny bit of poison is a kindness to him.

Two small movements with my hands and I'm already walking back to the table like nothing ever happened. Now let's see if I correctly remembered exactly how much powdered Carmine tree bark can incapacitate a man as large as him.

 

———

As I pull Peirson with me to the gym where I know the Major that still absolutely loathes me always goes before his shift starts, I start to think I gave him too much.
His face is tinged green and he starts to wobble slightly as we weave in between people leaving to get ready for the second shift.
“I feel sick,” he mutters next to me and I hum back at him as I look around the room.
“Weird, maybe you just need to sweat it out a little,” I reply as he starts to shake his head back and forth and then runs straight into the man I was looking for.

“Sorrengail, did you need me to point you in the right direction of the gates? Your shift starts in forty-five minutes, I told you I wouldn't hold you're fucking hand.” I bite back the comment I have about how Peirson is also nowhere near the control room he's assigned to, and he doesn't get yelled at. I didn't go to the captain, who I get the distinct feeling is slightly scared of me on purpose. He might be a hell of a lot more pleasant but he doesn't ever make a decision on his own. No, this asshole Major always has the last say, so why not endure a bit of anger to get what I want?
“No sir, we just wanted to get a couple of rounds in,” I say respectfully and try to make it less obvious I'm tugging on the huge man's arms next to me as he sways back and forth.
“You'll find it hard to find a mat—” his words are cut off when Pierson doubles over and throws up all over the floor and sadly the Majors' pristine boots.
“I think I'm sick.” he gurgles out before falling face-first onto the ground.
His lip pulls back in a look of pure disgust as I purse mine to stifle a smile “It seems Pierson has fallen ill Major, would you like me to find out where he is today and inform them?”
The large man groans from the floor and we both ignore it as the Major pinches his nose and sighs. “He was in control with Riorson—” I make a pained face at the words and hope that I'm not laying it on too thickly.
“Oh, well I can send someone else to inform him. I'll just clean this up and drag him to the healers.” I say quickly. My voice shakes a little, and I jerkily move my limbs as I talk as if riddled with anxiety.
Oh, Violet, you're good.

You are.
I quietly thank Andarna as the Major's mouth twists upwards in what I think might be a smile, but it's rather menacing. “No need Sorrengail. You haven't been to control yet right?”
I widen my eyes and shake my head. “No sir, but I am supposed to patrol—”

“Enough,” he snaps cutting me off. “There are already two others who are well-equipped to protect us out there. Enjoy spending 12 hours stuck in a room with Riorson.”
I close my eyes briefly in what to him looks like sad acceptance as I inwardly congratulate myself. “Of course Major.” I nod and stand at attention trying not to step in vomit. “I'll go there now and inform him of the change. Thank you for this opportunity.”

I'm about to pivot on my heel to escape the horrid smell and menacing man when his voice stops me. “No need, go break up the crowd around him and his friend.” I feel my brows pull together in slight confusion as he juts his head towards the gym. “Be careful, it would be a shame if he accidentally hurt you,” he adds before snapping at the two infantrymen who sadly decided to walk by at the wrong moment. He orders them to clean the huge mess on the floor and I step over Pierson to figure out what the fuck he was talking about.

Why in Amaris' name does it seem as if he likes Xaden more than me now? I have tried to be nothing but respectful since that less-than-stellar first impression. Gods, he can't seriously he more likable than me.

I push through a small crowd of riders with my elbows and ignore their grumbles when I pass. It's not like him to make a spectacle, did he finally snap and kill someone?

I make sure that my mouth doesn't actually hang open at the sight in front of me. Xaden and Garrick are sparring. No scratch that, they are fighting, and if I didn't already know it, the sight of their fists swinging expertly and quickly at each other would clue me in on how lethal the men are.
Also shirtless.
By the small smirk playing on the larger one's lips as he ducks Xadens' strike, I'm pretty sure he is doing this for a reason and so is the other man. Xaden doesn't exactly strike me as an exhibitionist. Maybe if he catches someones eyes and has a little fun he’ll be less of a prick. Why does that thought send a weird pang through my stomach?
“You want in on this?” a woman says loudly from my right shaking me out of my locked gaze.
Oh boy do I.
I shake that thought away and meet her eyes as she flicks them between me and the fight in front of us.
“Most of the coin is on Tavis, he has yet to be beaten. Especially when leave is up for grabs.” Oh shit, seriously? I really hope Xaden loses, but I have this knowing feeling that he won't. I watch him dodge every strike as if he knows they are coming and bring a huge leg up to kick it directly in Garrick's chest and sigh in resignation. “No thanks.” I grumble and watch the larger man stumble and come back for more. “Also I'm pretty sure Tavis is about to lose.”
The woman's eyebrows flick up and then I see her eyes travel to my name on the patch over my chest. “Sorrengail? I hear you hate the bastard,” she says motioning towards the dark-haired man currently striking into Garrick's gut. I just shrug my shoulders casually, “I hate both of them,” I lie easily. “Doesn't mean I'm stupid. Riorson is going to win.”
He purses her lips and there is a slight pause in the movement in front of me and I get a great view of Xadens' well-sculpted sweat-lined back. In the very minimal moments we have in our room he's never taken his shirt off so I've never had the chance to see what looks like dozens of scars going over his back. My jaw ticks once as I run my eyes over them quickly.
Holy fuck, I assumed when Liam told me that Xaden had scars from Navarre that he meant it more mentally, but this has to be some kind of crazy fucking torture shit from his time at Basgiath.

I try not to let the thought make me feel any more for the man than I already do. He doesn't need my pity, just my help. “Tavis isn't half bad, funny, keeps his head down, and does what he's told.” I stop myself from nodding along with her true assessment and make my face go flat as I look at her.
“Anyone who wants to disrupt the peace in Navarre and had a hand in my brother's death can't really be described as ‘not half bad’ in my opinion Lieutenant,” I say in a clipped tone and she frowns. “I really hoped you were less severe than your sister.”
I give her a smile that's more of a baring of teeth. “Sorry to disappoint, our mother taught us well.” I hear a huge crack and my eyes travel back to the men and Xaden finally delivers the ending blow to Garrick's jaw with his elbow and the crowd moans.
“And it seems as if I was right.” I say motioning in front of me as I take a step forward. He is slightly smiling as he helps Garrick back up to his feet. “If you're done fucking around, we are needed in the control room soon Riorson.” I make sure my voice travels over the loud chatter from the dispersing crowd. I catch my traitorous eyes as they travel down to his bare chest when he turns towards me but I think he caught it. His smile turns into his annoying smirk, “We?” he says simply and I nod while I turn to look at Garrick instead.
He is no less impressive, but doesn't seem to make me forget myself around all of these people. “Pierson is sick, so I've been reassigned.” The silence that greets me makes a small smile pull at my lips. “You're welcome,” I add when I look back at his stoic face and he turns to head to the showers.
“12 uninterrupted hours in the control room. Who's going to walk out alive Sorrengail?” Garrick says smiling as he wipes sweat from his face with a towel.
“I have a vested interest in keeping him alive Tavis, don't worry.” He snorts and throws the towel down on a bench. “What about me? I've heard you hate us both in equal measure.”
I scoff and say loudly, “Of course I do.” I lean forward to bridge some of the space between us. “But I would hate you less if you could kick his ass next time.”
He flashes me a dimpled smile. “Deal, I'm the only one that can keep that fucker humble.”
He turns to follow his friend but stops in the doorway. “Oh and when you have to break the awkward silence, ask him why he dislikes you so much.” I raise my eyebrows in question. “I know why,” I reply coolly and he shrugs. “You'd be surprised Sorrengail.”

———

I follow his broad tension-filled back to the control room and flick my eyes around. Well, this is going to be super fucking boring I feel. It's a simple stone room in the highest part of the outpost so that you can see out of its windows that line the entire circular area. Behind me I can see past the walls into the barren land that sits beyond the wards and in front of me I can see beyond the front gates.
The only people milling about are infantry, and a small number of riders walking to their posts.
Xaden immediately sits down in a chair to turn his back to me as he flips through the report left by the previous riders on duty.
I sigh as I sink into my own, now it's time to pull words out of this man's mouth if it's the last thing I do. “Did you do something to Pierson?” he surprises me by asking in a low tone still turned away. I scoff dramatically so he can get the full effect even as he looks anywhere but at my face. “Of course not!” I lie beautifully, “Why would you even think that?”

For a moment I slightly worry that Liam told him about my extracurricular activity that I used to do in my first year but he doesn't prod further and only makes a low noise in his throat as he continues to pretend I don't exist.
“But now that we are stuck together—” he cuts me off “We are always stuck together,” he says in agitation and I make a face of agreement that he still can't see.
“While we are stuck together and you can't run away from me,” I amend, “We might as well try to get to know each other, you know since we are allies now.”
I hiss out the last word quietly and he finally turns to look at me as he throws his hand towards our only exit and I see a greenish hue engulf the wood to silence our conversation from prying ears.

“I said we were allies only within our room,” he spreads his hands out palms up and motions through the small space we are in. “Does this look like our room?”

I frown as I talk myself out of being an insolent shit and answering ‘yes’ because almost every room in this gray lifeless fucking outpost looks the same. “You haven't talked to me for more than two seconds since that night Riorson.” I growl in annoyance that he brings out of me so easily.
He just shrugs casually and leans back in his chair to swing an ankle over his right knee.
“You took my advice and played your role well Sorrengail, I wasn't aware we needed to have any more talks.”
His voice takes on a mocking edge, I swear he is being more difficult on purpose, just to make my life harder than it already is.
“How am I supposed to trust you if you won't talk to me?” I fire back and he looks down his nose at me like I'm an idiot. “You're not supposed to trust anyone. I thought you understood that.”
I make a noise of frustration in my throat as I grab my favorite small dagger I won off a first year that mistakenly challenged me last year. “You trust people.” I say as I pinch the tip and flip it in the air, “You have Tavis.” and probably others scattered across the provinces if my memory serves me. “That's different,” he murmurs making a face and I snort just to make him angry.
“How so? Enlighten me.”
He leans forward gripping the arms of his chair and I finally see some other emotion but amused indifference cross his face, a small win for Violet.
“Because Sorrengail—” the way my name drips from his tongue makes anger shoot through me in a quick flash. I cut him off by grabbing my dagger by the hilt and slamming the tip into the desk beside me with a loud thump.
“What? Just because I'm a Sorrengail I couldn't possibly be trusted? I couldn't want a relationship with a child of the rebellion because I'm intrinsically a terrible narrow-minded woman?” I hiss out between my teeth and slightly lose sight of the plan I had formulated for this conversation.

“One of my best friends from the quadrant was a marked one.” I pause and let that news sink in and of course, he gives me no hint of what he is thinking in that brain of his.
“Liam is like a brother to me, as I assume Tavis is to you. You think he is so stupid that he fell for some long revenge plot I'm enacting?” My eyebrows rise as an invitation for him to answer me. A small smirk plays along his lips and somehow I already seem to know what he's going to say. What he's probably thought since my threshing day.
“And don't try to throw the fact that you made him watch over me in my face,” I say flippantly with a cruel smile. “I've known about that since the very first time he approached me because I'm not dumb. It doesn't mean what we built after that wasn't real, that I wouldn't give my life for his as I would for any of my friends.”

His mouth pulls down into a hard line as his eyes search my face, probably looking for a lie, or some quality of my mother that he thinks I have hidden deep within.
“Then that makes you a fool.” he finally says quietly and I force a chuckle from my mouth even though all I feel is fury at the moment.
“I think the only fool here is you,” I throw my legs up onto the desk not even pretending to look out the windows anymore as I sink into my seat to cross my ankles.
“You think you can keep someone that is bonded to you for life at arm's length? You're kidding yourself Riorson, and whenever you finally decide to start living in reality—”
I lean forward to pry the dagger from the wood and then point it at him lazily, “Then we can talk, until then just sit here in silence wondering exactly what I know, or how I could help you.”

I honestly thought that my words would make him instantly regret his shitty attitude and we would share a quiet moment of understanding, a couple more minutes of tense silence, and then finally talk like adults.
But I seem to have underestimated just how much he doesn't trust me, or possibly just how much he doesn't think I can help him.
He sits unmoving like a statue as his eyes track the space in front of him. I have decided to give him my back and watch the dry expanse of land that could possibly be crawling with Venin as we sit safely behind the wards. Liam's contacts, which he kept private from me for years updated him before we left Basgiath about their movements and they seem to have retreated into the Barrens for the time being but they seem to be pushing at the border between them and Zolya. I have no idea how the school the fliers attend is still standing as it sits so close to the dark creatures that haunt them, but Liam assured me that they have ample protection.
I learned early on not to push certain subjects, well not push them much. I am dying to know all the secrets the loyal man keeps in his head, but as he loves to remind me, they are not his to share, and seeing as I'm hiding some of my own I can respect that.
For now.

We sit in silence for hours and the only time I get him to snap at me is when I start humming a loud tune that Ridoc was singing as I walked into his dream last night. I close my eyes briefly and picture the man's face before trying to push all my feelings away. It's not forever, just for right now. I'm already about to see another from my squad way earlier than I had expected and on the bright side of things, when the Venin rally their forces and come for us I won't have to pretend to fight for Navarre anymore. I'll abandon my post immediately to rally with my squad and we can all die together in a blaze of glory.

I might not understand every word that humans deign to use, but I do not believe you know what the meaning of ‘bright side’ is.

I snort out loud at Tairn and a sigh escapes through my lips.

I don't know how much longer I can stay here pretending. Let's just leave the shadow prick and disappear into the night.

I hear his hum of amusement. If I could get Sgaeyl to leave the boy, I would agree. But even the smartest creatures have a blind spot.

I swear I hear a female snarl in my head after his comment and our bond goes suspiciously quiet and I chuckle. I never hear Sgaeyl talk to me, not since the first year I was with Tairn. I wonder if my grumpy old man ever talks to the rider he seems to loathe?

“When you laugh for no reason, it's creepy.” His deep voice grumbles and I sit up to turn in my chair and straddle it so I can face him. “I had a reason, my dragon is hilarious.” He turns in his chair but has to actually stand up to straddle his like I am mine because his legs are about the length of my entire body. “I find that hard to believe.” He finally replies and I smile.
“That's because he hates you, once he likes someone he is secretly very loving and comedic.”

Andarna’s laugh tinkles through my mind at my untrue assessment of our third, but from the lack of lecture I'm receiving for my words I think Tairn is getting yelled at by his mate.

Xaden gives me a small chuckle but it stops quickly and his gaze pierces into me. I'm too worried to break the silence, as if he is a scared cat that will run at the sound of my voice, but also this is my chance to actually make him talk to me and not sit in silence for another four hours.
“Why won't you tell me everything you know if you want me to trust you?” he asks finally and I rest my chin on top of my hands that are folded across the top of the chair back. “Because we might have to rely on each other to live Riorson, but I don't have to die to help you get what you want.”
He quirks up his left eyebrow but stays silent as if waiting for me to explain and I pause for a moment to make sure I word this as least insulting as I can.

“Look you have every reason to hate me,” I start with and the ass just nods. “I know I'm correct in thinking that you have your own agenda here, goals that probably don't align with Navarre’s”
He still stays silent and I can see his face starting to fall back into a mask of indifference.
“What better way than to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that the son of the great betrayer is loyal than turning in the daughter of a revered general that you just so happen to be tethered to?”
I close my mouth now and tilt my head to wait for him to talk and weirdly the first thing he does is huff out a small laugh. “What the fuck are you doing that I could use for such insane leverage?” I flash him a smile and shrug. “Answer two questions of my choosing, and maybe I'll give you a hint.” he barks out a laugh that sends delight down my spine.
“How would turning you in benefit me?” I decide to give him a free answer because this is going amazingly. “Think about it, they wouldn't kill me for fear of reaping my dragon's wrath, not to mention no matter how much my mother loathes me, she's still my mother.”
I hold up two fingers to him now and waggle them in the air. “I could be confined and tortured without any negative impact on you,” I add another finger. “Also it gives them a perfect tool to use against you, really driving home the ruse that you trust them. You'd have so much more room to do the things you are probably doing currently in secret.” I eye him at that statement and put my hands down. “You really have a low opinion of me don't you Sorrengail,” he says with a smile and I shrug again.
“Basgiath made me wary Xaden.” I use his first name in hopes that he will start using mine and separate me from my family a little. “Not to mention you have a great deal of people that you have to think about.” I add quietly and he stiffens. “I wouldn't even blame you really, I'd understand,” I add quickly before he shuts me out once again.
“My whole goal here is to convince you that I'm more worthwhile to you by your side, and not in a cell at Caldyr.”

Seconds tick by in silence and from the lack of emotion on his face I am worried I said too much, pushed too hard. He is almost like a frightened child, you have to let them open up to you in fear of them retreating even further into themselves. I should know, I was very recently a frightened child before the quadrant beat it out of me.

“What are your two questions?” he finally says and I slump down in relief.
I did it.
I make a show of tilting my head and thinking as I tap my pursed lips. “I say we start with something easy, just a get-to-know-you type of thing.”
He nods and leans back into the desk behind him throwing his arms out wide to perch on the wood. “I don't know,” I shrug. “How about, why do you hate me so much, and it can't be because my last name is Sorrengail.”
Both his eyebrows rise at my very not easy question, but ever since Garrick said to ask earlier I have let the words float through my brain willing me to spill them from my mouth.
“That's you're easy one?” he mutters and looks away to the right.
“You know why I haven't been talking to you after I said we could be allies?” he asks and I don't answer because obviously I have no fucking clue which is why I'm trying harder than I ever have before to make someone like me.

“Your boyfriend.” he bites out between clenched teeth and I feel my brows furrow in confusion. “Dain?” I ask stupidly and he looks at me like he's trying really hard not to make a sarcastic comment. “Yes, even though from some of your crumpled letters it seems as if that is on its last leg, possibly because of some devilishly good-looking man that makes you angry.”
He smiles at me and my mouth pops open in horror.
He read my crumpled trash letters? So many mean things fly through my mind at once at the audacity of this shit, but I clamp my mouth shut before I can insult him so badly that he stops talking.
I don't even want to be friends anymore at this point, this man is infuriating.
“I'm going to let that comment go.” I bite out and breathe in deeply through my nose. “Go on.”
His eyes twinkle in amusement for a moment before he looks away again.

“I'm assuming you know what the boring pricks signet is?” My eye twitches at his scathing comment toward Dain, I might not be in love with him but he is still my best friend. I swallow down more anger and nod. “I don't understand how someone with so many secrets could let him touch you.” he murmurs and then eyes me, “unless he also knows all those secrets?” I shake my head at the probing and slightly insulting question. “No, he doesn't. I've been very good at shielding since the end of my first year in the quadrant.”
He nods slowly but makes a face, “Always having to shield, never letting yourself fully let go? No wonder you lost interest in the poor fucker.”
I make a noise deep in my throat, “Move the fuck on Xaden, or we can go back to total silence.”
He chuckles crossing his arms across his chest making his biceps flex with the movement.
But I don't notice that, like at all.
Seriously.

“Well contrary to what the prick probably told you about me, when he first entered the quadrant I didn't give two fucks about him.” He blows out a loud breath and I lean forward to rest my head again as I listen to his story. This is more than I've ever heard him speak at once.
“He was just a rule-loving daddy's boy hell bent on proving himself and I had dozens of cadets to oversee, so I thought as long as he stayed away from me and mine, then we would stay away from him.”
I know Dain, he might be a rule lover, and very keen on getting his father's approval, but he would never judge an entire peoples because of the actions of their parents. He would be wary, probably stay away and keep an eye on them, but never seek out some kind of twisted retribution.
That's just not his style. “After threshing, he obviously started channeling and used his signet for the first time during a challenge against my cousin.”
All smiles and smirks are gone and he is looking towards the window as if he's seeing something far away. “I heard him lose his shit, and when I discerned what it was as I dragged him towards Carr, I thought he would die.” I clench my jaw at the stupid murderous ways of Navarre, Dain is so very lucky that his father is who he is, and also that it's limited by touch.

“But as you know, he didn't,” Xaden says with anger lining his voice. “I don't think I need to go over the reasons why, but he survived and then had it out for my cousin from that moment on.”
I want to ask a million questions. Why? Obviously, he saw some kind of memory that made him think they were doing something wrong. He would always act in what he thinks is Navarre's best interest, especially because he didn't know the full story.
He had no idea about the Venin back then, he hasn't even told me he knows now but I know he does. We just keep our secrets and lie to each other constantly.
Which is a problem.
I realise Xaden has grown quiet and I motion my hand that hangs from the back of the chair.
“Go on, I'll save all my questions until the end.” He rolls his eyes, but starts up again.

“After he realized it, Bodhi tried to talk to him, explain things, even fucking befriend him.” By his tone, I can glean that he didn't agree with those methods. “Which is not the route I wanted to take but he convinced me that Aetos was good, different than his father.” He pauses again and closes his eyes. “He told me I shouldn't punish him for the sins of his father, like Navarre has done to us since they killed our families.”

Fuck, I have a weird feeling in my gut that this story is about to get really bad. A memory is tugging at my mind but I push away the sensation so I can focus all my attention on Xaden.
He clears his throat as if this is a hard story for him to recall and guilt thrashes into me.
“Did you ever hear about War Games that year?” The question makes the memory I couldn't reach flood my brain and my eyes widen.
The war games where 10 cadets died from Fourth wing, and two of them were—
“They died.” I rasp out and swallow down my bile quickly. “Your cousin and another.” I wrack my brain for the names I asked Liam about just a year after it happened.
“Durran was your cousin,” I say and he nods. “And Cardulo was a close friend,” he adds as I close my eyes and give myself five seconds to think all the facts through.
Take out the emotion, I obviously feel for him.
All of them. His last living relative is gone, his friend is gone.
But was it really Dain? Or just an unfortunate coincidence since the quadrant is known for killing its prospective riders.

“You don't know for sure it was him—” I start but he cuts me off with a cruel empty laugh. “You'll have to just trust me when I say I know beyond a doubt they died because of Aetos. That codex-loving fuck doesn't see past his rules and need to be liked, even when my cousin saved his life time and time again.” I see his arms slightly shake with anger and I decide to keep my mouth shut a little longer.

That is a wise choice Silver One. It looks like I'm not the only one who was interested in the past of Xaden Riorson.

“I could have and would have killed him over a dozen times if it weren't for Bodhi, he is the best of us.” he coughs and looks away. “Was,” he murmurs and then meets my gaze again.
“And that's why I hate you.”
I straighten out let my face show my confusion. “I'm not trying to be a dick after you just shared that with me, but I have some comments” I start and he motions with his hand for me to go on. “I have been friends with Dain since I was five years old, I won't take the word of a man who just told me he hated me over years of experience and loyalty.” He only tilts his head as if my words are not quite what he was expecting.
“That being said,” I say lowering my tone. “I will also not let those years blind me, so if what you say is true, then I will put some things under advisement,” I mumble out the end of the sentence not loving the words I chose to use. He is back to looking amused at my expense yet again.
“Don't pretend it's on my account, you wanted to be rid of the bland man before ever hearing my sad little story.” I make a noise at him in annoyance and decide to pivot to the real part of this conversation. I can dwell on Dain tonight when I lie awake never sleeping again thinking that my oldest friend and current boyfriend could be the reason a lot of people died just because of where they were from.
“How do you even know it was Navarre that did it? War games are known to be deadly, and more importantly, how is any of that my fault?”
He stands now and turns around to look out the windows we are supposed to be watching with great care but have been all but ignoring since we started this conversation.
I'm assuming from the lack of screaming or dragons yelling in my mind, we are fine.

“It was a trap.” is all he says and I make a face at his back. “Eight other cadets died Xaden, you're telling me leadership was fine with the casualties of innocent nontyrrish riders?”
He looks over his shoulder and I swear I see a smile on his face before it drops when he starts talking. “In my opinion, yes, they wouldn't really care. But who's to say those cadets were wholly innocent?”
Gods this man talks in riddles.
It's worse than trying to discern the truth in battle brief.
“As for why it's your fault?” he adds with a light tone but I can see the tension in his shoulders. “Because I'm tired of all the other children of terrible people getting a pass because we are supposed to be better.” He spits the words out. “We are meant to rise above the atrocities committed against us, all Navarre has done is take away everything I've ever cared about and that includes you, Violet.”
My name coming from his mouth slightly surprises me. I think it's the first time he has said it to me, and not laced in a tone of hatred.
“How?” is all I reply with since my brain has apparently stopped working.
“I was free,” he murmurs almost as if to himself. “Able to do what I need to do and help all those people you think you know about, but then you bonded Tairn and pulled me right the fuck back in. Shined a light on my shadows and once again my entire future hinges upon a Sorrengail.”
I want to ask what that means, every thought in my brain is whirling at the implication of his words. I know my mother is the reason for a lot of the bad in his life, but why does it seem like he hates her more than Tauri? I swallow down all of my words and will my mind to stop racing.

This isn't the time, nor the place for that conversation.
And honestly, it shouldn't matter what my mom did, she's fucking terrible, loyal in the worst way, and inconsequential to our relationship because I am not her.
I never will be.

I don't need him to spill all his past to me and feel all the things he has no doubt gotten over little by little with time. What I want is to make new memories, forge a strong partnership that can bring the Venin to their knees.
After that, we won't even need riders for protection. Maybe Tairn, Andarna, and I can retire in the Isles if we survive what comes next.

The air in the small room seems to still, waiting for me to respond to him. He hasn't turned back around and I give myself one more second to stare at his large back before I break the silence.

“I'm pretty sure I still get one more question.” I muse lightly and he whirls around so quickly I think he might possibly stab me, but his hands are empty as he scrutinizes my face.

“Indeed you do,” he says lowly as if trying to figure out if this is some trick.
I stand up and push my chair all the way under the circular desk jutting out from the wall and stand before him.
“I saw you and Tavis fighting earlier.” I start and purse my lips at the huge smile that rips across his face. “Is that a question?” I don't rise to the bait and waffle my hands at him. “Show me.” is all I say and he chuckles as he leans against the desk again.
“That has to be the weirdest way I've ever been instructed to take off my clothing.”
I make a strangled noise in my throat and no matter how much I want to be offended or deny deny deny, I can't help the laugh that tumbles from my throat.

“I don't need to see little Xaden,” I say giving him a wicked smile.
“I meant, can you show me how to fight like that?”
He pushes off the desk and starts to disarm, throwing all the knives he had strapped to him to his right and they land with a clatter. “First off,” he starts as he unbuckles some holster that blends in with his black tunic.
“Just because Aetos disappoints doesn't mean you should expect all riders to be so lacking,” My mouth pops open, he definitely knows what buttons to push on me as well because my face flushes red. I had thought I had gotten over being slightly embarrassed when people talk about certain appendages but apparently that is not the case.
“And that comment was not an invitation for you to describe his little Aetos. It would be awkward and just sad because we all know everything you say will either be a lie, or really depressing.” He strips the leather straps from his chest and I am so angry I don't even give the sight a second glance. “And secondly, what a waste of a question, I know and you know that Liam trained you—” I cut him off when I surge into his personal space bringing my knee up to drive right into his crotch. He catches it wicked fast and throws it to the side knocking me off balance and I slam into his body rather than falling onto the floor and accidentally dislocating my hip.
That would just be even more mortifying than the entire last five minutes of this interaction.
“If you wanted to touch me, all you had to do was ask Sorrengail.” I make a noise of distaste in my throat before grabbing a dagger from the pile right next to him and shoving it in between our bodies, right at his balls.
“Liam did teach me, and he was the best in the quadrant, but from what little I saw earlier I think you learned some extra tricks since you taught him all those years ago Xaden.” He smirks as he grabs my wrist and puts pressure right over my radial artery, making the hand holding the knife spasm as it drops to the floor. I waste no time trying to recoup from that, calling my entire left hand a loss at this point as I throw an elbow into his gut and stomp on his left foot with my right. It makes him slightly move to the left more out of surprise than pain if wager but he retaliates quickly sweeping his huge arm towards me and catching me in the shoulder.
As I fly into the wall behind me it feels as if it's in slow motion. He didn't even hit me that hard, I'm just so much fucking smaller and can only truly win in a fight if I have my weapons.
My quickness helps me defeat most of my opponents, but for a large fucker like him he is surprisingly nimble.
I finally crash back into the wall and see a look of what I think might be regret flash across his face which slightly confuses me but I don't dwell on it.
I don't want to stab him, sort of, but that doesn't mean I'm completely unarmed.
I roll across the small distance and grab the leg of the chair I was sitting in as I see his boots step towards me. I think he thinks I'm down for the count, but I thrive through pain at this point and can completely ignore the throbbing in my ribs and back.
I jerk the chair out and I feel it connect with his body and surge up to get to my knees while still holding the leg and the top of it smashes into his face.

He ends up right in front of me in the same kneeling position as he wipes the blood from his nose and both our chests are heaving with the small exertion of our unplanned fight.
For a moment I'm worried he will pull back, because he heard how weak I am, or be angry that I just smashed in his pretty face but then a smile breaks across his mouth and I mirror it.

“I knew you weren't the frail and breakable girl I heard so much about, but fuck Sorrengail, I had no idea you were so Violent”
I will not even try to explain or name any of the feelings his words make me feel and I push them all away in a box with my pain and stagger to my feet holding my hand out to him. At this position, we are almost eye level because the man is so large but he takes it anyway and puts no weight on me as he jumps up to his feet.

We separate and he gets in a loose stance by the wall opposite me.
“Again, but this time make it really hurt Violence.”

I choose to ignore my new nickname until I can think about it way too much when I'm finally away from this man.

Do not permanently harm him, Sgaeyl would be displeased.
Tairn chimes in but I ignore him as I run towards the shadow wielder in front of me.

I mean how can I not give him exactly what he wants? It's the least I can do.

 

————

 

Xaden:

 

“Explain to me again how what I saw when I came to see why the fuck you hadn't left your post after your shift was over wasn't some sort of sex thing?” Garrick says once again as I try to continue to ignore him.
It's not working and every time he asks the same question over and over again I can't seem to stop replaying the entire night with Sorrengail. I said so many things I wasn't going to, gave her too much information about myself but I have finally started to listen to Sgaeyl and give her a small bit of my trust.
Mostly to shut up her screaming in my head.

If I am doomed to endure your never-ending thoughts on that girl every day of my life, then the least you can do is listen to me when you know I am right.
Her voice drips with rebuke and I try to ignore her as well.
Fuck I miss being alone.

“She was on top of you, your head right in between her knees—” I stop Garrick's rambling with a hit to his gut and he curses as he rubs it. “I told you, she asked me to show her some sparring moves.”
And share deep dark stories of my past, but I am not telling him any of that. He would never let me live it down.
I don't ever talk about Bodhi, with anyone.
And for good fucking reason— “Why don't you grip my ass cheeks gently like that when we spar?” he says dramatically pouting and once again, making me lose my train of thought.

“Shut the fuck up Gar, I wasn't gripping her—” I stop myself from playing right into his hands, I know better than this. I really do. “When can we leave?” I change the subject and hope that he just leaves it alone, at least for now.
“I'll fly out with you now, stop, drop you, come back, work the entire day because you're a lousy prick, and then come get you after dinner so you can be back in bed by nine.”
I nod absently as we turn down another quiet hallway, it's late as fuck. Me and Violence—No- Sorrengail, we're supposed to be done by 9, but accidentally stayed in the room until almost 10, but in our defense, no one came to relieve us.
After Garrick barged in and she sputtered in the most adorable—No no, embarrassed way, she pretty much ran from the room before whirling around, thanking me quickly, waving at Garrick, and barreling down the hall like a silver ball of chaos.

I know she is also off tomorrow, and I wonder what she has planned. She will get the entire day to herself if she decides to stay here since I'll be further away than she would ever expect of me. “The bed you lie in that is right next to Violet's. The woman you complained about for this entire week and then helped train instead of sitting on watch like you were supposed to be doing.” I sigh loudly and the sound mingles with the echoes of our steps on the stone flooring.

“Garrick.” I snap and he throws his hands up as if in surrender. “Hey, all I'm saying is you've never trained anyone outside our friends, even when Cat asked you the first time you were together you didn't do it until the assembly made you.”

I shake my head and try to remember why in the fuck I was ever excited to be back around this man. Fucking annoying prick.
“I have a vested interest in keeping her alive,” I say coolly and he gives me a look before I reach for my door handle. “Sorrengail said almost the exact same thing to me earlier about you.” Of course she did, because it's true. I turn the knob and throw open my door “Are you sure you aren't secretly sleeping together or something? I won't judge.” I see silver tips of hair fly through the air as she turns to look at us. “Much.” Garrick hisses before smiling at her like we all didn't see each other an hour ago.
We went to get food and I wanted to give her space before making her be in the same room as me again all fucking night. “You guys are secretly together?” she says quickly eyeing the both of us and I shake my head as Garrick throws his arm over my shoulders. “I'd never keep that a secret Sorrengail.” This conversation isn't happening, no matter how much Garrick wants it to.
I slam the door behind me and see the full pack on her bed. She looks freshly showered and her hair hangs down her back in wet curls. “Leaving?” I say glancing at her bed then back at her and she nods as she throws her hands up to her head to start braiding her long hair.
This is the third time I've seen her do it, which is why I started leaving before she wakes up in the morning.
When the fuck did I get so into hair that it makes me too uncomfortable to stay in the same room as her for fear she would see exactly what she does to me on a daily basis?

I should have told her that was the reason that I hated her, fuck everything else.
It's not fair that someone like her with her name and questionable parentage can make me feel like this for the first time in I don't know how fucking long.
Maybe ever?
What the fuck is it about this particular woman? Is it how smart she is, how her sleepy face in the morning makes me want to run my hands through her hair? Maybe it's the fact that she is the first person who isn't a friend from my childhood that seems to see me, the actual me, and the sight doesn't seem to scare her off, no matter how hard I try.

“Xaden!” The woman I can't stop thinking about says snapping in front of my face and I blink my eyes to refocus them.
Fuck.

I will no longer try to save you from yourself Shadowed one.

Shut up, I growl back and turn to look at Garrick who is wearing a shit eating grin.

“I said,” she pauses and looks at me as if I am an idiot, and maybe I am. “That I'm leaving tonight and I'll be gone until tomorrow night.” I nod curtly and turn my back on the wicked enchantress who has somehow bewitched my mind. “If you kill us, I'll find you in Malek's realm and make you wish you never met me,” I say in a flat tone as I move to get my own pack and gather my things for my trip.

“What makes you think I already don't wish for that every night lieutenant?” Her voice is sweet and Garrick laughs as he makes conversation with her. I tune them out completely as I stuff clothing and more weapons into my bag.
Well, that took me all of five seconds, but I don't feel like turning around and trying to make awkward conversation with her when Garricks seems to flow so easily.
Their back and forth doesn't seem even remotely strained despite who we are or who she is. Her attitude in the halls towards us as of late has been very tense and what some people might think is hate crackling between us, I know better.
Because I know she doesn't hate me in the slightest, so what in the actual fuck is going on?
Getting closer to her is a bad fucking idea but the idea of working with her is very appealing.
Not just because of her weird allure, but because with a Sorrengail who isn't pretending to be dead on our side, we could move so much faster.

“So every time I say ‘fuck you Tavis’ in the hallways, just pretend I'm saying hi.” Her voice breaks through my thoughts once again and I stamp down my smirk at Garrick's laughter yet again.
She won him over quickly it seems.
“Deal, and I was taught to always treat a lady with respect so I'll have to pass on returning the words.” She snorts as she throws her pack over her shoulder. “So I'll just go around to everyone else and whisper that you're a bitch behind your back. So if you here that, it's me saying hi back.”

Her full-throated laugh reminds me of Bodhi for some reason, probably because he was the only one who never let the events of our past really keep him down. He smiled more easily, laughed louder, and loved harder than anyone.
But more probable is because I spent so long talking about him, which reminds me—
“Gar, we need to go,” I say quietly and he nods.
Sorrengail gives me a small wince, opens her mouth and then shuts it again before shaking her head. “Spit it out Viol-” I pause and cough to cover up my almost use of her nickname. “Et,” I end lamely. “Or we will be here the entire night.” Her smirk lets me know she caught it and I make sure I don't look Garrick's way.
“Please don't follow me.” I glare at her for a moment at the words since now I'm going to be worried about exactly what the fuck she's doing out there, alone, for an entire day.
“I have better things to do than follow you.” I bite out and pick up my pack and drag Garrick by his elbow from the room as he yells goodbye to my other half.

“Okay definitely not secretly together, you were awkward as fuck in there,” he grumbles as I pull him along. “Let's fly for about thirty minutes towards Summerton, and then you can wield us the rest of the way,” I say keeping his mind on the task at hand, which is almost impossible.
I completely tune him out as we make our way towards our dragons so I can let the excitement of what I'm about to do settle in.
Now that I have leave for a day, I can take Sgaeyl with me and after last time, I'm pretty sure she would roast me alive if I tried to leave her here anyway.

Yes.

I snort and pat her nose before running up her leg and taking to the skies.

 

Being pulled through space by Garrick's signet is still off-putting no matter how many times I've traveled this way, but my ruthless blue girl doesn't say a word as she is brought along with me and we land heavily on the dirt right in front of the palace I've come to loathe.

If it weren't for who I am about to see, I would never step foot back here again, which is I guess lucky for Tecarus that they were sent here.

An orange dragon dips below the clouds as I peer upwards and starts to descend towards us.
I dismount from Sgaeyl and hear Garrick land beside Chradh at the same time.

They are close.
She tells me and I thank her as adrenaline floods my veins.
“Look at our boy, all grown up.” Garrick says popping the ‘p’ as he looks at the dragon thumping into the earth in front of us.
“I never thought I'd say it, but fuck I missed your pretty face Riorson,” he yells from dragon back and I give him a true smile as I walk towards him.
We clasp hands and hug briefly before I run my eyes over his wiry frame.
“Give it to me straight Mason, how are you?” I ask seriously as Garrick pulls him from me to embrace him as well. He straightens after the crushing hug the larger mam gives him and shrugs.
“Pretty good for a dead man I'd say,” I snort and watch his eyes flick to the view of Cordyn we have from here. “It's fucking rough out here Xade, but weirdly I feel safer than I ever did in Navarre.” I nod in total understanding. It's hard to feel safe when you're hunted by your own riot. Mason faked his death by almost actually fucking dying when he was thrown from his dragon and stabbed during a routine patrol. The story that was told was that gryphons had caught him by surprise, but they shouldn't have left him for dead.
If it were me I would have pierced him right through the heart to be sure, because his dragon picked him up took him to Aretia and Brennan was able to save him from the precipice of Malek's doorstep.

Garrick and him make small talk as I search the skies again looking for what I really need to see.
No offense to Mason, but it's been too long.

“It should be just a minute.” the man says pushing up his glasses and looking to where my eyes trail the sky and I nod my head.

After what seems like hours but it was apparently only two minutes according to Sgaeyl I spy a shape coming right towards us.
I walk away from the other men needing privacy for this reunion. The part of me that always pushes away my feelings wants to rear up and take control but I don't let it.
I deserve to feel this after everything we've been through.
I deserve a small bit of happiness to make the end goal seem like it's reachable.
The smile I haven't seen in years greets me and I feel mine pull up to mirror his. Memories from my childhood flood my mind as I run towards him and the guilt at what he had to do because of me threatens to ruin this moment but I push it away before it can.

“Gods it's so good to fucking see you.” He almost shouts as he rams into me and I envelop him in a crushing hug.
I grip his shoulder and throw my other hand on the back of the curls that makes everyone do a double-take thinking we are almost twins.

“I missed you Bodhi.” I breathe out in a barely audible whisper, but the way he clutches on to me even tighter I know he heard me and I let myself revel in this moment for a touch longer before I have to let go.
Talking about him so much today made emotions swell in my gut that I try not to think about so I can keep myself sane.
He might not be dead, but he has been watching over Cordyn the last four years thousands of miles away from me so it's hard to remember that sometimes, but not now.
Because for one night and most of a day, I finally have my family back.

Notes:

Of course I didn't kill him.
Ugh, I’d never do that to my man Bodhi.

How dare you think I would?
Imogen though? 👀

Chapter 4: Hi, I'm the problem, it's me.

Summary:

The weekend is here, and I’m ready to put out some chapters. 👀

Enjoy the lieutenants just trying to figure out their shit. They thought the only thing they had to worry about was each other, but of course some other not so great people get added to the mix. Will it push them closer together, or further apart?
That question will be answered by the end of the chapter :)

Hope you enjoy ❤️

Violet:

 

My flight feels like it takes longer than it should have but I know that's just my anticipation talking. It's barely been any time at all since I've seen my friends, I need to grow up and stop relying so heavily on their presence.

We approach, they are already here.

My thoughts are tossed aside as I let myself feel relief, and I throw my flight goggles down around my neck as Tairn lands into the small outcropping of trees he picked for this little visit.
I have written them all letters, because sometimes I can't actually control my signet, but unbeknownst to most of Navarre, I have a way more visual way to reach out to the people I miss dearly.
The farther away they are stationed, the harder it is for me sometimes, but I have been dream-hopping so much lately that I have actually gotten quite good at keeping a connection over great distances.
It's finding them that seems to be the real bitch.

“It is so nice to look at something that isn't water.” The amused voice spurs me to move faster and I slide off Tairn ungracefully to run toward him and jump into his outstretched arms.

“It's so nice to look at such a handsome face,” I say in his ear as he squeezes me tightly and laughs. “Don't lie, Vi, my brother has never been called ugly.” I push away and roll my eyes, “Maybe not, but his attitude makes the sight hard to enjoy.” That is just a bold-faced lie but thankfully he doesn't call me on my apparent attraction for toxic men as he lets me back down on the ground and throws an arm over my shoulders to guide me to his small fire. “It's been one week, and I fucking hate it.” I start to ramble as I throw myself down on the ground and wait for him to settle in behind me so I can lean into him. “I weirdly miss Basgiath, which makes me think I might be insane. Everyone nice hates me, which means my only friends are assholes, I haven't really gotten any closer to what I wanted—” I make myself stop so I can inhale a breath. I guess my words aren't totally true. Today seemed like a great day with Xaden, an amazingly open talk followed by a confusing, slightly passionate sparring session that made me take an obscenely long cold shower after Garrick interrupted us. “Liam,” I murmur letting my head fall back on his chest so I can look up at his warm blue eyes. “Tell me everything is going to be fine, even if it's a lie.”
His eyes crinkle in the corners as he smiles down at me and it makes my heart feel light to see it. “Everything is going to happen as it should, now tell me exactly what you’re talking about.”
I pout at him dramatically but suck in a breath so I can get this done with and we can move on to something he won't yell at me about.

 

“You seriously still haven't told him anything?” He says in an unsurprisingly annoyed tone. I move away from him to grab my pack and shove food in my mouth because that's what one does when they feel nothing but anxiety and failure.

“I don't know if you remember the man,” I huff glaring at him as I shove bread in my mouth and chew slowly. “But he is extremely hard to talk to, he barely said anything to me until today, and—” I pause to swallow around my food and the lump of guilt in my throat. I decide to do the healthy thing and blame Liam for not telling me anything about Xaden's cousin in the last three years.
“Why didn't you tell me it was his cousin who died the year before we entered the quadrant?” My voice is low and when I stop talking the only sounds I can hear are the crackling of the wood inside the fire. Liam is making some sort of face I can't decipher as the flames dance in his eyes, and I wait patiently for him to answer. “Or that it was apparently Dain that did it” I hiss after waiting for two seconds. “Did you know this entire time? Did I make you associate with a man who secretly killed your friends?” My voice cracks with emotion on the last word and I look away as he moves closer to me and takes my hand in his.

“It's complicated, Vi.” He starts and I scoff ripping my hand from his grasp. “What happened to Bodhi and Imogen is not…how it seems.” He says slowly and I turn to look at him in confusion.
By Amari, he is starting to talk like Xaden. What the actual fuck?
“You let me be in a relationship with someone who murdered people because they were Tyrrish?” I say in a low tone and his eyes flash with pity before he can turn away from me.

“I don't blame Dain for his part in what happened.” He says looking at the fire once again. “Just like I didn't blame you for being wary of me before you got to know me, before you knew the truth.” Well, it seems as if he knows something Xaden doesn't, or Liam Mairi is just the most forgiving and patient man in existence.
“He was only doing what he was taught to do, and like I said it’s complicated” He swallows loudly and clears his throat. “Plus I have gotten to know Dain these past couple of years, even though I fully think you are fooling yourself when it comes to that relationship, he isn't a bad man.”

I make a noise and look at him in pure exasperation before I lean forward and push his knee making him almost fall backwards. “You don't get to have an opinion if all you can tell me is ‘it's complicated’” I pitch my voice low to sound like him, trying to break some of the tension I caused. I really don't want to fight, I know there are certain things he can't tell me because of his other loyalties and I have come to admire that trait within him, I just really don't love the guilt I feel for Dain's actions. No matter how much I can see the story from both sides. I straddled that line when I found out about the Venin, what I was taught versus what I learned. It just seems me and the man I used to think I would end up with chose different sides.

“So you're saying everything is great now, and you have finally admitted you are in love with him and had that long talk you have just been waiting to have until the time was right?”
I groan and sink onto the ground letting the fire warm the right side of my body.
“No.” I snap. “I haven't done any of that Liam, I've been a tad busy.” Not seeing him, trying to be friends with Xaden, figuring out all the shit with Aaric. “He still hasn't told me the King told him about the Venin, but all of your sources say that they are bringing fliers to Caldyr for interrogation.”
I sit up quickly and throw my hands out. “He is the interrogator! I thought once he knew he would run to me, divulge all of it, finally realize that Navarre is full of lying terrible people, and I could tell him everything I know without worrying he would run to his father”
Or even worse, my mother . He wouldn't understand just how dangerous that could be. He and his father have always been close, way closer than I and my mother. The man has never been anything but pleasant with me either, caring after my father died, giving me eyes laced with pity when my mother hissed out one of her many insults. But having your eyes opened to the secret they keep lets you see so many things that were invisible before.
Like the way anything threatening the order or rules of his precious school made his face turn cruel, the slightly confusing interest he took in me as I started my second year, and the disappointment when I kept a respectful distance from his prying questions.

Liam stays quiet for a second pursing his lips and then biting the bottom one as if he doesn't want to say what he's thinking. “Oh just out with it Li! Ridoc already told me last night to ditch him, Rhi has been saying it for months, Sawyer won't even talk about it because it annoys him so much.” He huffs out a small laugh and shrugs.
“I think the fact that you couldn't trust your best friend and boyfriend in the first place without him coming to you first means that it was doomed from the beginning.”

I roll my eyes and look away now. “I thought you said he wasn't such a bad man,” I grumble and he pulls out his smaller knife so he can busy his hands carving something. “I might not hate him, but he isn't good enough for you. I don't think he is inherently evil or anything, but also in your own words he has known for months. Helped question fliers.”
He puts the small piece of wood he was about to cut into down to grab my hand gently and squeeze it.
“I think you already know what you need to do and hearing a story about a mistake he made years ago doesn't change the fact that he agrees with Tauri about the secrets they must keep from everyone. A secret you don't agree with.”
Silence thickens between us as my heart sinks with his wise words.

 

I have said practically the same thing since you coupled with him.

I grimace at the unfortunate wording Tairn uses.

It's different when it comes from Liam, he doesn't hate everyone.

In fact, he generally believes the best in most people. Which makes his conclusions about Dain hit that much harder.
So how do you break up with your best friend without sending it in a letter? How can he even be your best friend anymore when your morals seem to differ so greatly?
The answer is, you push the thoughts down deep, and drink.

I grab my pack again and thrust my hand inside it to find the heavier bottle towards the bottom. When I whip it out Liam whistles softly before taking it from me to open it with his teeth.
I sit up so he can hand it back to me and raise it high in the air.

“To Xaden Riorson!” I say as he looks at me in confusion before I tip the liquor into my mouth.
He is going to be so angry once he realizes I went through his shit before he and Garrick got to the room tonight.
If you're going to go through my trash and read my letters, I'm going to steal your alcohol.
Fair is fair.

Liam and I finish singing the bawdy tune that Ridoc taught me in his dream last night and I hiccup in between small giggles as I roll towards him.
“I was supposed to use this time to get tips on how to make Riorson like me,” I say making a dramatic face and he laughs even more.

“There are no tips, just give it time.” He slightly sputters as he takes another drink of the dark liquid. Time is something I don't feel like wasting anymore. Even though Tairns' reservations about telling Xaden are sound, a small part of me that seems to be growing with every conversation or look I share with him wants me to just spill it all. Even the stuff I haven't exactly told my friends. Because unlike them he wouldn't look at me with worry, only provide me with cold hard advice.
“I promise he will come to love you like I did Vi.” He says patting my hand. “He just acts like a huge ass. You guys are a lot alike—” I make an affronted face and he waggles his eyebrows cheekily at me.
“Both willing to sacrifice everything for the people they care for, both gifted powerful signets and chose to use them to fight for what's right.”

I turn away from him now as I feel the small smile I had on my face slip away. No, Xaden Riorson is better than me. He stays in Navarre because he has to think about the other rebellion children who are cursed with that fucking relic. I'm not sure if it's simply out of duty, or because he feels guilt, but either way, he's here, being fucked with constantly as he takes it with a respectful face and no attitude.

What I haven't admitted to anyone, and barely to myself, is that I am using him. My reasons for our allyship aren't as altruistic as I have made him and my friends believe.
Yes, we need to band together to defeat the Venin but what I need most right this second is to kill one in particular.

Guilt gnaws at me for not telling them about the fucker haunting me for the last year. For making them believe I want Xaden only because I know we need to work together, not because I am so scared that I can't defeat the thing by myself.

I cut Liam off before he can say more nice things about me and make me feel even worse. “Has Sloan said anything about hearing from Aaric?” I mutter and he makes a noise in his throat. “I don't know, it's only been a week, so he shouldn't be back and the little shit hasn't sent me a letter since I left Basgiath.”
My smile faintly returns and I turn back to him now that I've gotten my emotions under control.
“Which means you need to hurry up and actually tell Xaden something. You can't exactly leave without him or Tairn would lose his shit. If Aaric actually gets us passage to come and go from Deverelli we need a plan.”
I nod and feel my happy buzz start to fizzle away leaving only anxiety in its place so I do the only logical thing and take another long drink from the bottle before hitting it back down into the ground in between us.

“I can't move too fast, I won't be the reason we all die,” I mutter and he scoffs at the implication that his foster brother would betray me, but I'm not really talking about Xaden anymore at all.
Images from the nightmares that plague me every night flash in front of my eyes.
Me turning, becoming the thing I want to fight most, being the reason we all die, killing my friends, my dragons, and now in the last week, even Xaden has shown up in a few of them.

The Venin whom I met at the beginning of my third year when they sent me to Summerton to watch the gates when our wards fell temporarily seems to have left a lasting impression. In my defense, he was the first one that I had ever encountered. Well, he and his compatriot.
I killed the first one easily, a well-placed strike to the chest that only took me two tries to accomplish, but he evaded me no matter what I threw at him. He taunted me with my own worst fears.
I am not enough.
Someone else should have gotten this power.
My weakness will be all our undoing when I realize it too late and reach for something that isn't mine.

The only way I can escape the nightmares his words gave me is if I wield Andarna’s power, break the dream, and run into someone else's. It's utterly exhausting, and now I fear that the gods are fucking with me. Loaning me Aaric's power of precognition to warn me that I'll be the continent's downfall.

Because the scene that replays over and over in my mind only changing out the people that surround me is definitely past the gates at Samara, and I feel like my new post has just brought me right into his waiting arms.

We would leave everyone behind to save you Silverone.

Tairn says resolutely, and I feel guilt wash over me again.
He would, he would tear himself apart, feel agony for who knows how long without Sgaeyl if it meant giving me peace of mind and putting space in between me and the Venin who seemed so interested in me.

But I can't do that to him, just as I can't do that to Xaden, and I shouldn't have to if we can just fucking work together.
I meant what I told him, I can help him, he just doesn't know how much he could help me too.

 

———

 

You will give me what I want dreamwalker, or I will kill everyone you love.
His voice slides through my mind like murky water as Rhi flashes before me screaming, followed by Mira with her throat slashed open wide, and then Xaden brought down to his knees before me. All that lethal power turned to ash as he is sucked dry by the venin's hand and the sight makes my eyes water.

Dreamwalker.
I'm a dream walker, and this isn't real.
The thought seems to make this living nightmare dull at the edges and I open the archive doors to my power and wrap Andarna’s around me as I shoot the dream Venin my middle finger and flee from my mind like the coward I apparently am.
I'm floating in a sea of iridescent blackness as I scramble for someone to jump to. My mind instantly thinks of Liam. The man should still be sleeping soundly behind me in our tent so it shouldn't be hard to find his mind. I pull images of us at Basgiath out of my memory. I think of what he represents for me, safety, comfort. A shadowy tether emerges before me and I tug on it, letting it take me away from the nightmare that finds me every other night. When I blink my eyes open I'm looking at…me?

Or someone who looks like me at least. The small flash of face I get before I bend down is slightly unfinished and blurry, as if the dream is an idea of a person rather than an actual one. The hair now pressed into my face hangs down in brown waves ending in silver tips eerily like mine as I slam whomever it is I'm holding into a stone wall. I immediately flex my power so I can step out of Liam's mind, I draw the line at being a part of some weird sex dream.
I'm going to give him so much shit for this tomorrow. I can't wait for him to stammer as his ears turn red when I describe this in detail to him.

As I step away my mouth falls open at the sight in front of me. This is not Liams dream.
I am standing there watching as Xaden fucking Riorson pins someone to the wall and kisses them with more passion than I have probably ever seen.
Oh, holy gods. I walked all the way to wherever the hell Xaden is on accident and he is having a sex dream about someone that might slightly resemble me.
That has to be an accident, or his subconscious telling him he is horny and sticking the last woman he saw in front of him.

I have to admit curiosity has me hesitating before immediately jumping somewhere else. His low gravelly voice echoes around the area that I now realize is the sparring gym at Samara.

“Fuck you don't know what you do to me.” He groans and I swallow harshly as I back away a few steps to try and pretend I'm a good person who isn't violating this man's privacy.
At the very erotic turn this is taking, my curiosity quickly turns into panic as I close my eyes and try to throw myself from his mind. It's usually like wading through water, not as seamless as my lightning signet, but I'm still learning all on my own since I couldn't exactly tell Professor Carr I can walk into anyone's dreams at night because they don't shield when they sleep.
My thundering heart, and racing pulse aren't helping me as I try to grasp back onto Andarnas power and I can hear the wet smacking of lips as they collide with each other.

“Shut the hell up Riorson and fuck me.” Dream woman says and my eyes fly open, by gods does this man's imagination sound exactly like me. Even in his dream the featureless woman is kind of bitch to him. But the way his hips move forward makes me think he kind of likes it.

The dream wavers in and out and I narrow my eyes pushing through the feelings dream Xaden is making churn within me, no matter how much I don't want them to. That only happens if I am far away, like really far away. Every time I try to see Rhi it stutters in and out until I concentrate fully on holding my connection to her mind. Where the fuck is he, and why did my mind travel all the way to his on its own accord?

“I don't care about Cat, or anybody else. I need to feel you around my cock.”

The words make my insides clench right before I tilt my head.
Who the fuck is Cat?

 

I'm shaken awake by a large hand on my arm and I throw myself up breathing heavily as arousal still curls in my gut. “What the hell is wrong with you?” Liam says sleepily from behind me as he looks at me with annoyance. “You keep squirming and I swear you were making the weirdest noises-” I cut him off with a strained laugh and throw myself back down on the bedroll we are sharing. “Weird dream. Flying and crazy shit.” I mutter unconvincingly as he settles back down behind me, throwing an arm around my middle, and instantly falls back asleep.

I toss and turn until light filters through our tent thinking extremely inappropriate thoughts about Xaden, and wondering how the actual fuck I'm going to look him in the eyes tomorrow.

——

I decide to fly back to Samara the next late afternoon on Andarna because Tairn is pissing me off. Not only will he not leave me alone about my accidental travels but he won't answer any of my fucking questions with a non-vague dragon answer.

I'm already in a mood because I had to say goodbye to Liam. It felt like home being with him, even if it was outdoors in between our two outposts. He didn't bring up Dain again, which I am thankful for, and did give me some insight on Xaden that I think I could use.
He also definitely noticed how weird I was being when he brought up his foster brother's name.

I am trying to answer you
Tairn says dryly as he slowly flies underneath Andarnas's smaller form.

No, you're not. When I asked if there was any connection between me and Xaden because of your mating bond, all you said was ‘possibly’. That's extremely unhelpful.

He chuffs in annoyance and I realize Andarna is suspiciously quiet.

I squeeze my knees on her spine and poke her with my finger. What do you know?

She turns her head at a weird angle to look at me as smoke rises from her nostrils.

Some riders of mated pairs can talk mind to mind like their dragons can.

I throw my hands up and make a vulgar gesture towards Tairn as we glide through the sky.

See! That is an answer!

I can tell I am annoying him, but I don't care.

That is what I said. It's a possibility. We would have all found out earlier if the two of you had ever met before now.

I roll my eyes. Well, that's on Xaden. I tried and failed at getting him to see me for years. I even tried to find him at Basgiath or Chakir on the weekends our dragons met, but he was extremely elusive. I'm betting his signet helped a lot with that.

I finally touch down in what is now considered my home, at least for the time being and I'm ready to throw myself in bed so I can have terrible sleep once again, before I have to report for duty tomorrow morning.

The very vague outlining of plans that Liam and I talked about today keeps roiling through my mind. I have come a long way, since finding that note my father left in the Fables of the Barrens. I know what Navarre is hiding, I chose the right side, but every time I find something out about the man I thought I knew better than any other person on the continent, it only brings me more questions.

It's taken me over a year since stealing his hidden drafted manuscript on the last Krovlan uprising, to possibly get access to Deverelli. After Colonel Aetos asked me about his research on feather tails right after threshing, I became obsessed. I mean one of them had just bonded me, and I wanted to know whatever I could about them, and also how my father had any information on them at all because no one else seemed to.
The true gems of his work were the scribbled notes he left in the margins, his hypothesis on what really might have happened hundreds of years ago.
But how did he find it? Leadership seemed only interested in that one subject, but one thing I learned from him is to see the whole picture. Which is what led me to the isles in the first place. Asher Daxton visited almost every single one of them as he climbed the scribe ranks, and I want to know what kind of information they offer.

Are they aware of the Venin? Is that the true reason Navarians can't go there? Do they change history like we do? So many questions, and very few answers. That is, until Aaric comes back from his meeting with the King of Deverelli. He is supposed to go there in Halden's stead to broker for goods and swap treasure, but all he really needs, we need. Is access to his island, and discretion.

“Sorrengail!” A voice shakes me out of my deep thoughts as I walk stiffly through the gates. For a split second, I look up expecting to see Xaden, but then I shake out of my stupidity when I realize the lower timber was missing that certain growl he has when he says my name, and also why the hell would he converse with me outside of our room?

 

Sgaeyl isn't back yet. Andarna supplies in a sing-song voice as I lock eyes with Pierson who is walking toward me.

I didn't ask. I fire back and she laughs.

“Well, you seem like you're feeling better,” I call out like I'm actually happy to see him and not longing for solitude. He nods as he thrusts something into the chest of a passing infantryman and I have to refrain from making a face at him. I'm too tired to deal with his shit tonight. My limbs are aching from sleeping on the ground, and then riding Andarna who wanted to somersault through the air. I make sure none of that shows as he grows closer to me.
I am not weak. I'm Violet fucking Sorrengail.

“Yeah, it passed quickly.” He says as he gets to my side pivoting to turn completely around to walk next to me. “Probably something I ate.” Or drank, but whatever.
“You missed all the action last night.” The gleam in his eye paired with his wide-toothed smile slightly sets me on edge. I pause before throwing open the door to get inside and quirk my eyebrow at him. I don't want to seem too interested, but fuck if those words don't give me alarm.
For so many reasons.
Gryphons, Venin, Garrick. They all flit through my mind at a fast speed as he bites his bottom lip like a child with a secret. “Action? It seems pretty quiet here to me.” If Gryphons had attacked I'm pretty sure we would still be on high alert, I wasn't really paying attention as I walked through the gates but I didn't see any more people than normal. “People came to the gates last night.” He says in a rush and I finally open the door to walk inside to give myself a moment to mull that information over.
It's not exactly what I was expecting.
“They brought news from their village right outside the borders,” He says with animation as if he has been dying to talk about this with someone all day long. “ It seems as if the birds are attacking their own people now.”
Fear shoots through my spine in a quick flash. Venin. It had to be.
What if it were a certain one? What if he is on his way here and I haven't actually gotten Xaden to agree to help me and I kill us both because I am weak despite what my signet is.
The only time I came face-to-face with him, I failed. Missed. He was better than me, and he knows it.

Asking for help is not a weakness. It shows the brilliance I chose you for.

Tairns words barely break through my panic but I am a master at showing no emotion after Basgiath and Pierson has continued to talk as if I'm not spiraling deep inside.
“—let them in here.” He finishes and I whirl my head to him.
“What did you say?” He rolls his eyes at me as if I'm ruining the story by my lack of listening skills, and to be fair, I am.
“The Major let them in here. Which has never happened before. If anyone comes to the gates, we tell them to leave or make them.” I really want to ask what ‘make them’ means, but a huge part of me knows I wouldn't like the answer, and it's not nearly as important as my other question.

I flit my eyes around the hallway to make sure I'm not about to be overheard and when I only see a new rider I don't know the name of and infantry I give him a look.
“You're telling me Major Tillman let civilians from Poromiel into our outpost?” I don't even have to act as the words leave my mouth dripping with disbelief.
He barks out a laugh and shakes his head. “No it wasn't him Major Varrish is back from assignment in Caldyr.”
I purse my lips and flip through all of the leaders I've met over the years, which is a lot, because of my mother. Before the quadrant and I all but died in her eyes she made me attend every party, every inane celebration, and dragged me from outpost to outpost for her meetings.
The name doesn't ring a bell at all and hope sparks in my chest. A Major I've never heard of is back and he let in civilians? Maybe not everyone here is either a spineless prick or drunk off Navares' lies.
Maybe someone else had a heart, and a brain to go along with it.
“I've never heard of Varrish,” I say shaking my head as I turn into my hall and spy Garrick walking towards me. I have a huge feeling he was about to go to my room as he immediately stops and swings right back around to start walking the other way again.
“I only met him once before he left, seemed severe, no bullshit. They say he was called away by the King personally.” The words slightly melt my hopefulness, but maybe he is just good at playing the game.
The King loves me too, and he definitely doesn't know how much I don't return that sentiment.
“So where are they?” I ask him as I think of a way to talk to them without spelling out that I know about what truly attacked them and I need them to describe how the creepy fucker looks. He just shrugs as I stop by my door. “No clue, they were heavily guarded when we opened the gates, and I haven't seen them since, but I was stuck patrolling until about an hour ago.”
Well shit.
I'll have to see them at some point, unless they've already moved them into the village nearby that is, but maybe that would be better? I could go hunt them down on my next day of leave. “I heard he's bringing more riders with him, it would be nice to have some fresh new bodies to look at.”
Ugh fucking gross.

I smack his arm playfully, “You and Yuri just stopped seeing each other like two days ago, stop being dramatic.” I drawl as I push my lesser magic into the lock and flip it before I use it to swing the door open. Lieutenant Yuri isn't even half bad, she was a year above me in second wing so I don't know her well, but she was less insufferable than the rest of my new group, good for her on leaving the man. “I'm so fucking bored.” He mutters and then I feel the heat from his body intensify as he takes a step closer to me. “You haven't had any fun since you got here either, we could entertain each other for a night.” I make sure the cringe I know I'm wearing is wiped from my face before I turn back to look at him.
“I'm not really into fun. I like more long-term.” I say dramatically pouting my lips and patting his face, slightly harder than necessary.
“Come on Sorrengail. Who the fuck wants long-term? Have sex before you die.”

I roll my eyes and take a step back from him as I try not to gag.
“Don't make me kick your ass, Pierson,” I say in a sing-song voice and he only smirks as his eyes look over my shoulder into my room. “I swear I'm a gentleman, maybe you could even change my mind on commitment.”
I've had to hear him talk for an entire week and the last thing I would describe him as is a ‘gentleman’. Also, I'd rather swear off sex for the rest of my life.
“Your traitor roommate still isn't here, you should use this alone time to get to know me better.”
The thought literally makes me want to vomit, but I don't get to say all the mean things I want to because a voice cuts in from behind him.

“And you should fuck off.” His gruff voice makes something low inside me quiver and I beg it to stop as annoyance also makes an appearance. I don't need his help with this jackass, and also we still have parts to play.
Pierson stiffens as the huge man walks up quickly behind him and pushes him to the side with a well-placed shoulder to get directly in my space in the doorway. “I don't need the nightmares of hearing your five minutes of pleasure, or having my room reek of Sorrengails disappoint at your inadequacy.”

Well damn.

“Shut up.” I snap and give him a look. He only smirks at both of us before walking into the room past me and I feel a small tug on my ankle pulling me behind him. It takes everything in me not to look down at what I suspect is a shadow wrapped around my sore joint.
I only let it pull me a couple of steps as Pierson's turns crimson red and he opens his mouth.

“No matter how much I would love for her to endure your torturous company, you'll have to try again later.” Xaden purrs and then the door is suddenly swinging in front of my face and I move my head back so it doesn't hit my nose before it slams shut on Pierson.

Couldn't warn me Sgaeyl was back?
I say in annoyance as I turn swiftly to yell, thank, stare..? At the man currently throwing his pack on his pristine bed.

I thought you didn't care?
Andarna says as Tairn chuckles and I firmly shut them out.
Touche.

“You did not need to step in, I could have handled it,” I say in between my clenched teeth, firmly making myself feel the tiny spark of anger instead of the multitude of other shit roiling through me. He steps away to throw open his armoire and grab black fabric from it.

“Oh, I'm very aware,” His eyebrows are raised as he turns to look at me. He pulls his shirt up to reveal a large black and blue spot I gave him over his ribs with a well-placed kick, and damn me, it makes a smile crack on my face. “But you are trying to be his friend, which is hard to accomplish if you beat the living shit out of him. I saw your face when I walked up, It looked eerily familiar to every glance you throw my way.”
I scoff and roll my eyes as I trudge slowly to my side of the room. “Thank you,” I grumble under my breath. A small hiss comes out when my sudden movement strains my hips. That and my back are probably the most fucked from my terrible idea of sleeping squeezed next to Liam on the ground.
Next time, we are meeting in a village to sleep on a gods damn bed.
“Don't mention it,” He replies under his breath and when I finally make it to my bed to slowly turn around his eyes are narrowed on me.
I'm quite sure he is going to ask what's wrong, and I don't want to explain so I decide to divert his attention. “Have a good time away from here?” I say flippantly as I cross my ankles.
I decided on my short flight here that Liam was right, like he usually is. I'm wasting precious time keeping everything so close to my chest. Not to mention I have an overwhelming feeling about Xaden and his intentions. He might not fully trust me, but I don't think he would ever turn me in. Not unless Navarre made him choose between me and his people, and if that time ever comes, I can actually understand his choice. Plus now that we are behind the closed door of our room his face almost looks..relaxed. As if wherever he went was exactly what he needed. His shoulders even look less lined with tension and his eyes aren't so glarey.
A small part of me wonders if he was with Cat, whoever the fuck that is, or some other woman, but it's not my business and I shouldn't care in the least.

He opens his mouth and I can just somehow tell it's either going to be a straight-up lie, or an evasion of some sort so I interrupt him before I can lose all sense and get angry again.
“I had a wonderful time.” I smile as he narrows his eyes at me. “I stole your alcohol, and met up with Liam just a couple hours west of here.” Shock strikes Xaden speechless for the first time since I've met him. No jaw clenches, no glares. Just wide-eyed confusion.
I like it.

I stay quiet and wait patiently for him to speak again and he clears his throat before crossing his arms over his chest. His tunic hangs forgotten in his right hand as he calculates what to say to me. “I can't tell you—” He starts and I interrupt him again, just to see how far I can push him until he gets back to his normal abrasive self.

You enjoy bickering with him.
Tairn grumbles and I decide not to answer, even though we both know he's right.

 

“That you were far away?” I wave my hand at him dismissively. “I don't care. How do I know you were far?” I ask myself for him. “I can't tell you, but I know I'm right. A wise blue-eyed man told me that I should stop fucking around and tell you some things, and I've decided to listen to him.”
He sits down heavily on his bed as he stares at me with lines forming between his brows. The one with a scar running through it pulls tight with the motion. “You’ll still tell me your secrets even if I can't share all of mine?”
I don't think he or any of his people run on pure transparency, so why does he think that I would need it? “I do not need to know everything Xaden, tell me what can kill me, and I'll do the same. But I won't ever ask you to put any of your people in danger.”
It takes him a couple of seconds but he nods as if he is also making up his mind and no matter the slight apprehension I feel at baring some of my secrets to a man I've only known a week, I also already feel a little lighter.

I open my mouth and shut it as an angry hiss echoes through my mind.

The major who has just arrived is not an ally.

How do you know that for sure? I ask Tairn.

I know we aren't supposed to question dragons and all that, but he is known to mistrust everyone. Just because.

I know his dragon, and if he has been chosen by the likes of him, then you must stay away.

See? An answer, but in the most vague way possible. It's infuriating.

What did we talk about today?
And the last three years.

His name is Solas and I removed his eye instead of ripping out his throat decades ago. Is that enough information?

No, but I decide to stop pushing it before he goes on a tirade about my attitude, completely bypassing the tone he just took with me.

There is worse news.
Andarna says with hesitation and the tone makes me more worried than Tairns' anger.

“What's happening?” Xaden says out loud and I shush him. “Dragon stuff hold on,” I mutter.

What could be worse than a major who is bonded to an enemy dragon?

As if the Gods are in the sky looking down on me trying to make my life as hard as possible a rattling knock shakes our door.
Xaden is already up off his bed and throwing open the door as if he somehow sensed someone was approaching and I turn to try and look around his hulking body.

“They told me this was Lieutenant Sorrengail's room.” The voice I hear feels like a bucket of cold water is being thrown on me and despite how shit my joints are I spring up from my bed.
“You have the right room, but she's not available at the moment.” Xaden's mild words are laced with hostility as I throw myself into his left side to move him out of the way.
The huge ass doesn't budge and I end up squeezing myself under his raised arm to see the person in front of him.

The sight transports me back to Basgiath, where ironically I just longed for because I missed my squad, but the memories her face brings up are not pleasant at all. The bitch smiled in my face in front of leadership, and tried to kill me at least twice that I know of in the short year I knew her. In the eyes of everyone around us, we really should have been friends. I put up the same persona she did. Codex-loving, rule-following, severe.
But she never could get over the Dain of it all.

“Lieutenant Mavis, what a pleasant surprise,” I say with as much dignity as I can crouched slightly under Xaden's arm.

I told you it was worse,

—————

 

This is so fucking weird. I am following Amber Mavis through the halls of my outpost to see the gods damned Commander. But the truly odd thing is the insane smile she had plastered on her face at the sight of me, and the weirdly nice words she uttered after I finally got Xaden to back the fuck off so I could follow her. I'm pretty sure by the look on his face he wanted to snap her neck. She was a year above Dain in the quadrant, so it could be because of something she did at Basgiath, but I'm betting it has to do with the fact that she is Tyrrish, and her family threw their lot in with Tauri, and got a nice piece of land after his father was burned alive.

“You look good Sorrengail.” She says walking confidently in front of me even though I know for a fact she isn't stationed here, I think I would have noticed at some point. Her boots make short clipped noises on the stone beneath us as we turn into another hallway.
“You too Mavis,” I say coolly as I scramble inside. “Did you get transferred here?” Not a weird question, especially since she has made the effort to pretend like I don't remember her threatening me on various occasions. She nods her head, “Yeah, you'll learn why soon enough.” Well, that's fucking ominous. Damn, I should have stayed with Liam later. Maybe I could have lived in ignorance for a little while longer. She stops abruptly at a door to our left and before she opens it she tilts her head and gives me a look I think is supposed to be friendly.
“I want to apologize for how I acted.” I can't help the face I'm making, this is..odd. “Okay,” I say dumbly and she smiles. “I blamed you for issues between me and Aetos, and it was..childish.”
Actually, it was murderous, but I don't even care at this point. I just want to know what's happening and it has to be bigger than stupid Amber Mavis transferring here. “Forget about it,” I say shrugging, even though I won't. At all. I know her, no matter how many times Dain tried to tell me it was someone else after me, I know it was her.
Well, she can get in fucking line. “I'm hoping we can put it all behind us and rekindle our friendship.”
Excuse me, what?

 

I wipe the confused look from my face before I walk into the room after she finally opens the door. I stand at attention before nodding my head respectfully at the man I've met twice before. Degrensi is older, with short-cropped gray hair, piercing gray eyes, and a battle-worn face that the wind of the skies he's been flying in for decades has lined permanently. Everything about this man screams order. I didn't much like him when we met when I was 15 or again at 18, but I've also met worse commanding officers. He flicks his hands at Amber dismissively and I see her jaw clench twice before she backs right back out of the room closing the door behind her.

I turn slightly to his left to give the man I've never seen before my acknowledgment as well.
Thick black perfectly combed hair, crisp uniform, boots so shiny the mage light reflects on them. I'm going to take a wild leap and say this is— “Lieutenant Sorrengail, this is Major Burton Varrish.” The commander says standing. “And we've met previously. I was a bit busy this last week, but when the major came back from his duties elsewhere and wanted to meet you, I thought it would be the perfect time to talk.”

Looks like I can't stay away from him.
I say dryly to Tairn as I clasp my hands in front of me.
“It's a pleasure to meet you, Major,” I say nodding again, “And I'm honored to be under you're command, sir,” I say looking back at Degrensi. “I knew when I graduated that I would be needed on the front, and I'm glad it's under your leadership.”

Varrish adorns a soft smile that contrasts greatly with his pale soulless eyes. If I weren't so adept at reading people, I might have been fooled by his face, but I've been around a lot of corrupt leadership, and I already know this man is going to be a problem.
Plus Tairn might have warned me a little, I guess.

“I know it's been quiet here since you came, but yes usually this area is very active with gryphon riders.” The commander says in a clipped tone. I decide to feign ignorance of what happened yesterday when I was gone, just to see how much they want to divulge to me.
“I have been curious to meet the legendary lightning wielder,” Varrish says finally deciding to talk and stop staring.
“A powerful Sorrengail like the rest of them. When you entered the quadrant most thought you would die.” The commander just nods as my spine stiffens. Asshole.
“Yes, because of the health issues,” Degrensi murmurs to the calculating man to his left.
“Seems as if everyone was wrong.” Varrish ends and even though it was a statement, he seems to be waiting for an answer.
“Yes sir, the quadrant pushed me to my limits and I endured.” My voice is emotionless even though resentment and anger are boiling deep inside me. I swear I feel some sort of presence in my mind, almost like my dragons, but it's not familiar. I make sure my shields are locked down tight, I have no idea what Varrish's signet is.

“Very good,” Varrish muses and starts to walk towards me. “I have been travelling recently and met a few people to add to my team and one spoke highly of you.”
I make sure that surprise doesn't show on my face. Who in the ever-loving shit would speak highly of me? If they weren't in my squad, they hated me.
For my name, the perks they thought it brought me, and then because I was a rule-loving bitch to everyone who didn't know me. He couldn't possibly be talking about Amber.
“I sent Mavis to go get you, I thought you would want to see a friendly face after your first week here.” Varrish continues as my lip twitches with my need to frown at his words. That crazy bitch definitely misled our relationship to the man. “Her signet is powerful, though not exactly what I need on my team, but when she told me of how close you were in the quadrant I brought her along with me in the hopes it would help you with what you'll do here.”

I push all the questions I have about Amber aside. I can play the part of friends easily, and it gives me such sweet leverage over the woman, but there is that word again. Team.
And what the hell does he mean about what I'll be doing here? I assumed it would be killing fliers, but his words sound so fucking ominous.

 

“What am I supposed to be doing here other than protecting Navarre?” The confusion on my face is real and so is the apprehension lining my voice. I shake off the weird presence I feel again and pray to Amari I'm just jumpy with anxiety. “I'm an interorgator. I question Navarians who aid the enemy, give away our secrets. Griffin riders that attack and we capture them. My work is also in service to protecting Navarre, it's thankless, less action than wielding on your dragon, but no less important.”

I nod slowly and flick my eyes toward Degrensi. I swear I see disgust flash in his eyes before they become bored and hollow once again. I do everything I can to rein in the thoughts that are flitting through my mind.
Oh Dunne. Instant terror for the civilians that were brought in here, thinking it was refuge, washes over me. Suddenly the true reason for him letting them through the gates reveals itself and I was not prepared in the slightest for this information.

“Colonel Aetos assigned you here personally because he thought you would be a good asset to me.” I don't know whether to throw up or pat myself on the back for putting on such a good act at Basgiath that I have finally breached the inner circle of asshooes that run our country.
“I need to see for myself how good your control is with your signet. I've heard from everyone I encounter that it's quite impressive, but I like to make my own judgements.”
I tilt my head slightly, “I would be happy to show you Major, but I would recommend we do it outside, lightning and so much wood and paper don't mix.” I say gesturing around the room and he chuckles as he nods. “Tomorrow.”
Bile threatens to rise up my throat but I swallow it back down. Out of all the parts I've played through the last couple of years, this will be the hardest.
Is this what Dain feels like? Is he keeping the truth from me to protect me, just going along with his orders to try and figure out a way to help the people that anger the crown he works for? Liam was right about everything it seems. I have doomed us from the start by keeping everything from him. I put the blame on all his actions but until this very moment, I've never had to see it from his side at all. It looks like I'll be coming clean to all the men in my life very soon.

You know what you must do.
Andarna growls.

I know. I just need to make sure I talk to Xaden first.

It wouldn't exactly garner the trust I'm going for if he got no explanation for how things will appear.

 

The boy will not stop asking if you are unharmed.

I'm going to assume ‘the boy’ is Xaden, but the words surprise me. Not that Tairn is annoyed, that's his default setting, but that Xaden is..worried?

I reach out tentatively to the presence that seems to merely tolerate me. Whatever Tairn is telling him is probably scathing and lacking any actual information.

Tell him I'm fine, and still with the Commander. He should go to dinner like normal so no one is suspicious.

 

I wait for a response from Sgaeyl as the commander all but pushes Varrish from the room and I stand there alone, and awkward. I try not to shuffle around as I hear the phantom voice of my mother hissing at me about my posture.

I am not a messenger.

She huffs, but I swear it sounded less hostile than every other interaction I've ever had with her. That's a win.

“I want you to keep your eyes open Sorrengail,” Degrensi says sinking into his chair before looking at me. Here it is, the request I thought I would be receiving when Amber came to retrieve me. They want eyes on the ‘traitor’.
“On whom, sir?”
He starts to look down at his desk and picks up an ink pen to scribble on papers in front of him as if I didn't ask a question. “Everyone, your surroundings, the land beyond the gates.”
Okay, I need to stop assuming anything because I seem to be wrong at every turn.
“Sir?” I say with confusion in my voice and he flicks his eyes to mine.
“Your time in Basgiath didn't prepare you enough for what you'll face here.” Holy Amari is he about to tell me about the Venin? “Stop whatever is happening between you and Riorson, and stay close to him.” Everything about this talk is confusing the hell out of me. When in doubt, stick with the plan. “With all due respect sir, his father killed my brother and tried to rip apart the country.” He places his pen down to clasp his hands in front of him as his eyes narrow on me.
“With all due respect Lieutenant, I don't give a shit.” I make my mouth purse into a hard line at him, but keep it shut. “You two are the best weapons we have, and I won't lose that because of something that happened when you were both children.”
I make my eyebrows stay planted in one spot as they try to rise, something bad has to be happening out there. I've never heard anyone as high up as him talk about Xaden Riorson with anything other than distrust. He slaps the paper he was writing on down at the end of his desk towards me and I step forward to take it. “Twice a week, you and Riorson will be signet training wherever the hell it won't cause destruction to my outpost.”
The first thing that wants to fly from my mouth is that I don't need to train my signet, but then I remember I'm a good little rider who isn't supposed to argue. “This will not take away from your duties here, and that means whatever Varrish will pull you away for after he watches you wield.” Fuck, I'm really starting to miss Basgiath now. I'm being pulled in all directions as I try to keep myself and my other half safe. This is going to be infinitely more difficult than I thought it would just hours ago.

“Of course, sir. I'll inform Lieutenant Riorson.” I say in a clipped tone and he efficiently nods his chin. “You will breathe nothing about what Varrish shows you.” His tone is so low it's almost a whisper and I nod in agreement before he pitches his voice back up normally. “I'll be asking for weekly reports from both of you, and I expect a dramatic change to your attitude towards one another.” I make a painful look cross my face, which isn't too hard. Have I been such a bitch to him in the halls that even the commander of the whole outpost heard about it?
“You have eyes on you everywhere here.” He adds as he waves his hand in dismissal. “Prove your mother wrong when she tried to petition a transfer to a Midland post because of how untested you are.” I don't even respond as my mind whirls at his words, and I quickly leave his office to hurry down the hallway. She tried to get me sent somewhere safer? The last thing she said to me at graduation was ‘Don't embarrass me.’ So color me surprised that she said anything about me to anyone at all.

I practically run back to my room and slump onto the other side of the closed door to collect my thoughts now that I'm alone. Xaden is gone, so I'm assuming he listened to his dragon and went to the mess hall. My stomach is roiling with anxiety so food is the furthest thing from my mind at the moment.
I try to align all the things I have to do in my mind by order of importance, and first things first.
Talk to Xaden. Let him know just how much I know. If he isn't an idiot, he already suspects I know something more than just that gryphons attack us.
It is more imperative that we work together now that Varrish is here, and apparently all too willing to question, probably torture innocent people seeking shelter. Liam has never said a word about his allies other than the other Tyrrish rebellion children, but I'm not an idiot either, I suspect he is close with the fliers, which means Xaden is. It's the only thing that makes sense with the intel Liam always seems to have. I have no idea how deep their relationship goes, but being the ‘leader’ of the other rebellion kids, Xaden has to contact them somehow.

Maybe he can warn them to steer fucking clear of this outpost, and also not to murder me on sight for the part I'm about to play. Not that they probably didn't want to just for my last name.

 

I lie heavily on my bed and it feels as if all the life drains out of me. Weariness from too much alcohol and too little sleep the night before crushes me and I decide to rest my eyes just until Xaden gets back. I have to get this all out tonight, have to ask if his shadows could possibly see or sense or whatever the fuck they do, the Poromish people I'm certain are being kept here. I have to preemptively apologize to him for befriending Amber Mavis. Tell him about our new lessons. What the commander said.

Fuck, it's all too much.

That's the last thought I have before I accidentally drift to sleep.

 

———-

 

Xaden:

I want nothing more than to finish our talk from last night, but it seems as if fate knows that desire so it's decided to fuck me instead.
I got back to the room after not eating dinner at all, and Violet was asleep. Breathing so deeply, she didn't even stir as I stood over her just to see with my own eyes that the Commander or Amber fucking Mavis didn't do something to her. No matter what her asshole dragon told me, or mine, I swear I could feel her emotions.
Or what I'm guessing were hers, because they sure as fuck weren't mine. As I paced back and forth in our room I probed around my mind, searching on my favorite hill in Aretia, for a reason, and I think I found it, but I haven't been able to ask her yet.

Another control room duty had me leaving the room early as fuck, I had just enough time to slip in and out of the mess hall with food and a note for Violet when she wakes, but here the fuck I am stuck in this tiny ass room with a woman who won't leave me alone again.
Only this time since it's not Sorrengail, I don't seem to enjoy it as much.

Tairns rider patrols beyond the gates today, I will keep an eye on them since I'm told she will be giving a show later.

I completely ignore the woman talking behind me as I've been doing for hours at this point.

What the hell does that mean?

It's not often that Sgaeyl finds interest in anything, especially what Violet does.

She wants to explain when you see one another, but she will be wielding for the new Major that just arrived.

I might not know shit about him, and neither does Garrick even though he was here with him for a year, but the fact that Amber Mavis has anything to do with him makes me hate him instantly. Amber is a rule-loving, traitorous bitch that I was happy to be rid of when I graduated. Her being here is going to make this shit hole even worse, not only because of her annoying attitude, but she has always had it out for the children of the rebellion her family took no part in. She is from a village not far from Aretia, unless she is blind then she knows exactly what is out there, but is content with not giving a fuck about anyone but herself, just like her terrible parents.

You should show me.
Since I'm stuck here for hours, and right after I leave Garrick and I will be sneaking out of the borders to meet with Syrena. I did everything in my power to only meet with my people when I spent yesterday in Cordyn, but of course, Tecarus found me and tried to monopolize my time. The only thing of importance out of his mouth was that half a drift had just returned without their leader, which was Syrena. One of the few Cordellas I can tolerate, a way better person than her younger sister, and apparently in need of a conversation with me.
Too bad I was in her home and not mine at the time. I fleetingly think about just saying fuck it and not trying to find her outside the borders of this outpost, but if she needs to talk to me, then it has to be something bad.

“You aren't listening at all are you?” Lieutenant Carlson says and I hear the brush of her clothing as she turns around. “No,” I answer back in a bored tone. She is one of the very few riders here who don't steer clear of me and Garrick. In fact, she was in bed with Garrick not three days ago asking him to introduce her to me directly after fucking him, which I don't find attractive at all. We might be best friends, but we don't share in that way. Not to mention that I have my hands full with the women in my life already.

But you said that you would never think of the Silver One in such a way.

Sgaeyl says chuckling. I did say that, but we both hear all the thoughts that fly around my head about her unwillingly. Also, I didn't mean it in that way, an uncomplicated fuck is the furthest thought from my mind as things only seem to get more tense here.

“I like it.” The short blonde-haired woman says in a sultry tone. “The quiet and mysterious thing.” I turn around to give her a glare that usually shuts people the fuck up, but it only makes her smile widen. “Some people would think that the whole thing you have going on.” She says waving her hand at me, “Would just be a way to hide your inadequacies.” My eyebrow raises at her voice she is trying way too hard to make seductive.

“But I was at Monserrat before I came here, and one of my friends told me about how generous you were at Basgiath.” My face doesn't flicker in the slightest, I don't feel like playing with her, and my thoughts won't stop snapping back to Violet to my annoyance so I'm just really not in the fucking mood.

“Well, I was young then.” My voice comes out harsh and cold. “I fucked anyone who asked, I'm a bit more particular now.” I turn from her as her face starts to lose its smile. “So stop trying, it's embarrassing.”

I might have made it way more awkward in this room, but I don't give a fuck. I'd rather sit in the silence, do my duty, and get the fuck out. In the note I left Sorrengail, I asked her to wait up for me tonight because I had things I needed to do that I couldn't tell her. No matter what she said yesterday, I feel like she's going to start really hating those words, resenting them.
But just like she said she decided to listen to Liam, I have decided to listen to Bodhi. I told him everything happening in my life at the moment. He understood my heaitance with Violet, but agreed with me that she would be a huge ally for our cause.
Him spending so much time with Brennan might have made him a little too soft for the name we all used to loathe beyond reason. Even if he was right in saying that my mistrust of her mother shouldn't keep me from helping us do what we need to.
Gods I wish he were here. How fucking different would it have been if I were still surrounded by my friends and family? I push that worthless thought away as I sit back in the blessed silence to wait out the rest of my day.

 

—————

 

“You should have seen it,” Garrick muses as we dismount from our dragons between the huge dirt canyons that surround where Sgaeyl says she ‘felt’ the gryphons. His words make my jaw tick with annoyance, yes I should have but Sgaeyl wouldn't show me. The only thing I got to see was bright flashes of light coming from the south which was slightly impressive all on its own. “I have no idea if she can aim,” he continues, “but the entire sky was filled with fucking lightning. I was practically hanging off the southern turret trying to get a better look when one almost struck me.” Even though he is describing his brush with Malek his voice is delighted. “So worth it, I saw the same strike almost roast Mavis.” A small smirk pulls at my lips. “I tried to get her away from the asshole, but she was stuck to Sorrengail like glue. I also heard her talking to some others about how they've been friends since Basgiath.”
I shake my head and finally push away my jealousy that I'm one of the few who didn't get to see her wield away.
“I haven't gotten to talk with her, but we already know she isn't who we thought she was.” He nods at my words as we walk to the middle of the clearing to look around. “Maybe she is close to uncovering the truth, or just knows they are lying, I don't know.”
I finally spot what looks like a shape moving in the distance and I can see the outline of her tan leathers and I point so that Garrick starts walking toward her with me. “But the way she has been trying to get everyone to think of her as a Navarre-loving asshole here, I'd assume she did the same at Basgiath, so of course she would befriend Mavis.”
Garrick hums his displeasure as Syrena comes into view. She looks like absolute shit. Dirty, disheveled, with fresh cuts across her upper right arm.

“You think Sorrengail would finally kill her for us?” He says and I knock into his shoulder with mine to remind him not to say her name too loudly out here. Everyone might know my dragon is mated to hers, but they can't know I'm about to trust her, start to ease her into the rebellion.

At least they can't know yet.

“Riorson thank the Gods.” The weary flier huffs leaning back against a huge rock. “My gryphon tried to contact your dragon yesterday, but she said you were gone.” I nod my head as I narrow my eyes on her, and then realize she is alone. Where are the other six from her drift that didn't run back to Cordyn?

“I made a short trip to your home and saw the drift you sent back there, why the fuck are you out here alone?” Her eyes are clamped shut in front of us and I share a worried look with Garrick. Is this about the village that was drained when I was gone? “You heard about the village?” She asks cracking her eyes open to look at us as we nod.

“I have been tracking the Venin after they left, we got there too late, as you know everyone either died or fled. When I couldn't find them I sent some of my drift back to Cordyn to get more fliers to scour the area.”

I look around as if I might have missed the other people that should be here with her.

There is only one gryphon here. Sgaeyl confirms and my mind already seems to know what happened if she is out here all alone now. “You found them,” I say putting my hand on the alloy-hilted dagger I grabbed from my hiding spot in a chest under my bed. A spot I now need to reevaluate since learning Sorrengail went through my things.

“They found us,” She clarifies grabbing the water skin from Garrick's hip and drinking from it heavily. “Saw all of my people die,” She says sputtering a bit after swallowing it down. “Well except for Tresdin, he might have gotten away, but fuck if I know.”

I make a noise at the back of my throat at her fucking news. “And now we are out here with you and the Venin, are you fucking kidding me?” I seethe. I start to pace in front of her still form as Garrick's eyes flit around the area around us keeping watch.

“I came here with one fucking dagger,” I add angrily. “You get me killed, we are all fucked Cordella.” She makes a pained apologetic face as she heaves herself from the rock.
“I know, but these two seem to be the only ones that haven't retreated into the barrens, they will start picking off riders who patrol outside the gates.”

Her words send what feels like a jolt of electricity through me. Sorrengail was flying around out here all fucking day. I had assumed the Venin moved on from that village since the outpost didn't seem to be on alert, but fuck, they could have gotten her. Killed her because she might not know what the fuck she's up against.
Having doubts about you're home, and knowing about the dark that dwells out here are very different things. “Let's find them,” I snap and start to run back towards Sgaeyl. Garrick doesn't even comment on my change in attitude as he follows suit and I don't wait for Syrena as we fly into the air.

This is foolish. We should not be seeking them out Shadowed One.

Her normal angry tone seems to be laced with more bite.

Your displeasure is noted, but I won't be killed because one gets their hands on the unsuspecting lighting wielder.

She makes a growl of annoyance. If you both do not start communicating, I will start taking things into my own hands.

Well, what the fuck does that mean? The question goes unanswered as Garrick and I fly right under the clouds to scour the area where the Venin were last seen. I rip shadows from the darkness to flow freely across the dry land under us. Even if they are hiding from our vantage point in the sky, they can't hide from the dark itself.

My shadows brush against something near an outcropping of even larger stones and before I can direct Sgaeyl downwards my hair flies back from my face as something falls from directly above us.

Their beasts! Sgaeyl spits before turning to the side and dipping down further away from the pale soulless thing that was lying quietly in wait for us. Chradh’s roar shifts my attention further to my left and I spy three more dropping down towards us.
Four wyvern total. What was once thought to be a death sentence I now sigh at in relief.

Whatever fucking Venin is down there they aren't that powerful, or there would be so many more. Said the man who will not have to deal with the abominations

I throw a tendril of my own shadow out towards the closest wyvern and direct it to loop around its throat. I close my hands and pull my arms back as I push my power into it. I don't stop until I hear the deafening crack of its neck and it starts to fall.

You were saying? I snap back at her and she chuffs, making smoke rise from her nostrils before descending closer to the earth.

Try not to die, it would be an inconvenience. She huffs as I slide down her leg and hold onto her talon before leaping off as we approach the land underneath us.

Love you too, I say quickly before landing on the balls of my feet and sprinting towards where my shadows felt the life sucking fucks hiding from us. I am drawn even faster to them at the sound of fighting already ringing out. I pump lesser magic into my limbs as I slide across the dry dirt underneath me. For a moment I panic, thinking somehow Garrick got to them first, but then I hear loud breathing behind me and I already know it's him.

Fucking Syrena, is she trying to die?

I finally round the corner to the roars of my dragon killing everything in her path to see Syrena engaging with two fucking Venin and I have to admit, she really is holding her own even if it's so fucking stupid.
I throw my shadows at them and rip one back from her as it tries to lay a hand around her arm. She yells as the other one tries to stab her and I rip the dagger from my sheath as my shadow throws the other fuck somewhere to the left and I see Garrick run after it. My throw is perfect.
Cutting through the air in a deadly arc that I have practiced since I was a boy. It would have landed true as well, right into the back of that evil prick's head, if Syrena didn't pull him towards her making it hit the rock behind them harmlessly.

The Venin moves impossibly fast as it takes her arm and throws her back into the stone making her crumple to the ground. My shadows slither across the ground to get my dagger and bring it back to me without a thought and I lunge before I can really think through the idea because he is reaching his hands towards her and I know she's about to die.

I whirl him around and thrash my head into his sending it backwards but he recovers quickly as he smiles at me. He looks almost normal this close up, barely a red ring around his irises. He could have been anybody I passed in the hallways. Brown hair, brown eyes that look slightly off because of the red, and normal height. The only thing really striking him as other are the weird robes he is wearing.
“I can't believe I'm going to drain the great shadow wielder.” He hisses between his teeth as he chuckles. I can feel his hand grip my upper arm and I try to wrench away.

Fuck.

I will not let you die out here Xaden! Sgaeyls' worried voice makes my already present fear rise. “Not today dick,” I say through clenched teeth, and the shadow that snaked up behind him quietly holding my alloy dagger strikes into his back to pierce his heart. I see the red flicker in his eyes as they widen and then he slumps forward before I throw his lifeless body on the ground.

“Lost him,” Garrick says from behind me and I whirl around almost stabbing my best friend. “Fuck,” He says dismissing my jumpiness as he looks at Syrena. “Is she..?” He pauses but I shake my head.
“Just unconscious, we need to find the other one,” I say looking around wildly. By the screeches I hear in the air, that one was the more powerful and the wyvern are tethered to him. How fucking unfortunate.

I send my shadows out again to search the area and come up empty, did he leave? Use his creations as a distraction to get far away from here to kill another day?
I honestly hope not, I need to get the fuck off of Poromish land. It brings me nothing but fucking headache.

“You should get back on Chradh,” I tell Garrick as we walk back to back. I feel him turn towards me and I look over my shoulder at his defiant face. “I go when you go Xade, don't be a fucking idiot.” I nod once because there is no point in arguing. It feels like we wander around forever, minutes dragging on like they are hours.

We slightly split up because he swears he keeps hearing shit coming from the left of us, and my shadows finally brush against something and I stiffen when I realize it's right next to Garrick.
“Gar!” I yell and he already has his hands out manipulating the wind around him to throw back the brown tinged tree limbs. They reveal the other fucker hiding there with a smile on his face, and he raises his hands. The wind stops, everything seems to stop as he wields whatever the fuck kind of powers they have and I throw my shadows at my best friend to try and reel him back to my side. I nod as my eyes meet his and I hope he knows what I'm saying because I don't think my shadow is going to get to him fast enough and he needs to wield out of here. I see him raise his foot to take a step and the Venim jumps into action grabbing onto his arms as I shout and fill the entire area with more shadows than I have ever released at once. I pull back in my panic and rage so I can see my surroundings and they land in a huff near me as Garrick fights for his fucking life.

“Stop!” The evil bitch yells at me as I rush towards them, and I only listen when I realize he has a blade to Garrick's throat. “I could have already drained him, but I want a word with you Shadow Wielder.” I pull my top lip back in disgust at him.
“What the fuck do you want?” I have to yell over Chradh's angry roars above us.

“My master wants you to know you do not have to be tethered to the girl if you do not wish it.” I don't want to feel any sort of interest in what he has to say, but that was definitely not anything I was suspecting. “Pass, I would rather die with her than be one of you.” I spit at him as Garrick strains underneath him. “Just fucking run Xaden!” He yells in a strained voice and I ignore him, I will never leave him. He knows I would rather stand here and die with him than run back to safety.

“You don't need to turn, just give her to us and we can sever your ties.” A cruel smile graces my lips as I push away the fear threatening to make my heart burst.

“I'm not sure what you've heard of her, but she wouldn't exactly play nice with you.” The supposed weakest daughter of the general would die fighting before they ever got her for whatever reasons they want. His smile mirrors mine and he opens his mouth but before he can speak again blinding light crashes all around us followed by the loudest booms of thunder I've ever heard.
Holy fuck, this can't be— I told you I would take matters into my own hands. Sgaeyl mutters and my eyes widen as lightning ripples the night around me.
It hits at least three times around the Venin who has reeled back in surprise before hitting him squarely in the back and he falls slumped on top of Garrick sizzling.

My head turns up without a thought from me as I watch the huge surly dragon she is bonded to drop from the sky to land right next to us.

“Holy mother of Gods, Amari on high,” Garrick says throwing the dead fucker off of him and staring open-mouthed at Violet Sorrenagiail dismounting from her dragon to walk towards us. Her hair whips behind her head loose, as if when she got the news I needed saving she wasn't ready to fly in the slightest but didn't stop to adorn her normal braided crown.

The way it flies around her in a cloud makes her look like the Goddess Dunne herself, especially coupled with the scowl she is wearing.

 

“Seriously Riorson?” She says stomping towards me and then stopping to throw her hand on her hip. “You almost killed both of us before I could tell you I have known about the Venin for years,” I feel as if my face might be comical as my eyes widen more. Her dragon blows a long jet of steam at me and I distantly feel Sgaeyl landing behind me.

“And so have you, so that begs the question of why the fuck you just did something so insanely stupid.”

Notes:

I am trying my freaking best with one fics I am struggling with and honestly I’m still way too into fated or mated so you might get the next one out faster than planned.

Oopsie.