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Bdubs got up grabbing his favourite moss hoodie, pulling it on and making sure to cover his whole arm. He wasn’t feeling up to talking today and he never left without his hoodie. It had been over a year since his friends and fellow hermits had last seen him in a tee-shirt.
He left his base keeping his head down, welcoming the cool rain as it started to fall from the sky.
His goal was to get to and back from the shopping district with as little interaction with the other hermits as possible.
He quickly walked across the nether roof across the unfinished nether hub and to the shopping district portal. He jumped through and ran into the first shop he needed, it was too wet to use elytra and he needed more blocks. Running around getting everything he needed Bdubs ran back in the direction of the portal.
“Hey dude!” Bdubs froze at the sound of the other hermits voice, “how ya been”
Turning to look at Ren he replied “good, I need to dash I’ve got building to do just here to grab a few blocks.”
At that Bdubs turned and ran into the portal not wanting to talk anymore.
Ren thought Bdubs was being weird but shook it off and told himself Bdubs was just busy. Over the next few weeks Bdubs was still avoiding all the other hermits only leaving his base when he had to.
The hermits were getting worried about him.
Xisuma called a sever meeting to all the hermits other than Bdubs, they discussed how the short hermit had been avoiding everyone. They decided to send doc over to talk to him and make sure he was okay.
Doc flew over to Bdubs base. He walked around for over ten minutes before finally finding the missing hermit at his newest build. “
“Hey bdubs” doc said loudly to catch the hermit’s attention, as bdubs turned doc noticed the dark bags under his eyes, hinting at the fact Bdubs hadn’t slept and the over all tired look of the hermit.
“Oh hey doc! Didn’t know you were coming over” Bdubs said quickly putting up his happy front. He didn’t need his fellow hermits to know that he wasn’t doing good, his brain screamed at him telling him that he shouldn’t burden them with his problems, that they didn’t want that so Bdubs tried to be the happy hermit all the time but it was so hard.
“ how you been man? We haven’t seen u in forever” doc said noticing how bdubs kept fidgeting with his sleeves, pulling them over his hands.
“ oh ya know busy but great!” Bdubs lied with ease. Doc noticed how the normally bright hermit was more nervous looking and the normal bright spark in his eyes was gone.
“I need to get back to this now doc sorry” bdubs said obviously wanting doc to leave.
As Bdubs watched doc leave he finally let out the breath he had been holding in. He lifted up his jumper sleeve to scratch his arm, seeing the cuts littering his arm he quickly pulled it back down. Did doc notice his tired eyes or fake smile? Did he care or think twice about it? He wondered but his stupid brain cut these thoughts off as it screamed that no one really care about him enough to notice.
Doc landed at X’s base to telling him about Bdubs, as he walked in he saw false, Cleo, Gem, Impulse, Pearl and Skizz beside X waiting for him. “Well?” Gem said as he walked in
“He was tired and looked a bit thin.” Doc decided not to mention the weird sleeve pulling as he thought he was over thinking it.
Doc left the meeting after discussing it a bit more, they decided to that doc would go back tomorrow and talk to Bdubs again.
At this thought doc went back to his base to finish working and go to sleep.
Bdubs woke up and went straight back to building, he knew that if he didn’t get up now he wouldn’t get up at all that day. Then he would be even more useless to the server.
It was starting to get really warm and bdubs pulled his sleeves up to scratch his arms, the deep red scores fulling on display.
It was at this moment doc arrived to see how Bdubs was doing.
He froze in shock as he walked over to see Bdubs furiously scratching at his arms but it wasn’t this that worried doc. He saw the deep red cuts covering his friend.
“BDUBS!” Doc couldn’t keep the fear out of his voice
As soon as he heard doc Bdubs yanked his sleeves back down and turned “oh hey doc! How ya been?”
“How long” was all that doc could choke out.
“How long have you been hurting yourself? Why?” Docs voice kept getting softer and more scared sounding.
“I’m fine doc don’t worry” was all Bdubs could say. He wanted to tell doc that it had been almost a year, that he was scared and hurting. Most of all Bdubs wanted to cry, to finally break.
Doc flew up grabbing bdubs arm and shoved his sleeve up. Examining his scars and fresh cuts, he couldn’t help the tears from forming.
“Why Bdubs, why?” Doc tried to keep his voice steady but failing.
“It helps me” was all bdubs could reply with. He couldn’t stand to keep talking and just turned and flew off in the direction of his base.
His thoughts were too loud, drowning out all other sounds. All he could hear was his thoughts telling him that Doc hated him and that he was never good enough no matter how detailed his builds or happy he acted no one loved him because he was a failure and stupid.
Doc couldn’t move. He needed to snap out of it, Bdubs needed him. He flew after the hermit finding him in the corner of his house, tears streaming down his cheeks.
“Bdubs!” Doc ran up to the crying hermit and just hugged him. Doc wasn’t a very affectionate person but he couldn’t stand to see Bdubs like this, he looked so, broken.
They stayed like that until Bdubs had stopped crying enough to speak.
“Why did you follow me?” He asked. Doc was shocked by the question, “because your my friend and your hurting, I wasn’t going to leave you”
“But I’m so, so broken” bdubs statement shocked doc. “Bdubs, you’re not broken just because you’re going through something” doc wasn’t the best at comforting people but he tried his best.
“But I cut myself, of course I’m broken plus I’m not good at anything, I don’t see why you guys even keep me around. I’m just that annoying guy who’s always talking and just being there.” Bdubs said raising his voice.
Doc couldn’t help but let a single tear fall from his eye at bdubs words. “BdoubleO you are not broken and you certainly aren’t annoying. Also you’re an amazing builder! Why would we kick you out? Every time anyone is having a bad day or tough time you cheer them up, you bring a wave of joy into every room you enter. We love you Bdubs, I love you!” Doc couldn’t keep the tears back anymore and just let them flow down his face.
“Doc, I, thank you doc” Bdubs was lost for words. Doc has said that he loved him! Doc liked him! Bdubs felt hope blossom in his heart as he realised he might actually have a chance with doc, that man Bdubs had loved since forever.
“I’m sorry Bdubs, I shouldn’t have said I love you. It’s just. I do and I don’t know what I would do if I lost you, even if you’re just a friend I need you.” Doc froze as he felt Bdubs kiss him, melting into the kiss as he got over the shock, only stopping when he needed to breathe.
“I love you too doc” Bdubs whispered to doc, “ I’m sorry, I should have came to one of you with my stress, I see that now.”
“It’s okay Bdubs, just promise that you will talk to me whenever you need anything whether it’s just a hug or it’s something more, I’m here”