Chapter Text
Anakin and Djarin were haunted, haunted by their memories, by their past. Haunted by Maul and Palpatine. Djarin by the death of Din, Anakin by the death of Maul. Why would Anakin be haunted by the death of Maul? He had never experienced the anger, the rage, the wrath that he had when he fought Maul, he let himself turn into a beast and fueled by his rage killed Maul. He didn't even really remember the killing blow itself, all he remembered was a red raging aura engulfing him. In the current day, he held his head, having woken up from a nightmare as he often had. Anakin wouldn't describe what he had as nightmares, he would more think of them as punishment. He thought that the force was punishing him for almost turning to the dark side, for having so much rage inside him in the first place. The force was not the reason Anakin was having these dreams, although Anakin didn't want to admit it, he was ill in his mind. "Ani? Are you ok?" Padme asked him, bringing him back to reality. Anakin looked back at her, and replied "It was just a bad dream." Padme still looked at him concerned. "What was it about?" She asked, Anakin looked as if he didn't want to tell her, but did anyways. "It was about Maul... About what he did to me." Padme snuggled up on Anakin "Oh Ani, you know he can't hurt you anymore." Anakin looked at her as if she had struck a nerve "I understand that, I can't control my dreams Padme." He said upset. "I didn't mean to upset you Anakin. I'm sorry, you know I just want to help." Anakin stood up and said "I know... I just need some time alone. I'll be on the balcony." He walked to the balcony and sat outside just letting in the cool nights air.
Djarin had just got back from a mission, she was heavily injured and she made her way to Padme's apartments. She jumped in through the balcony and saw Anakin sitting there. "Djarin! Are you ok? We need to take you to a medical droid!" Anakin said, Djarin tried to say "No I'm f---" But she passed out and Anakin caught her. Anakin saw that Djarin had recently been taking more risks, accepting more dangerous missions and overall Djarin had been very arrogant, she had always been arrogant but even more so recently. Anakin had no idea why she had been doing these things but he didn't have the time to think about that now. He got her to the medical bay, Padme was following behind him. The medical droid had determined that Djarin had a bone poking into one of lungs, she would be ok but she needed surgery. She was rushed in and Anakin waited for her to be out of it, he was a little worried but not overly so, he knew that Djarin was strong and would pull through this. Anakin was pacing back and forth and Padme said "Ani come sit with me, pacing won't help her." Padme was right, but he kept pacing anyway, he was lost in thought and wouldn't be pulled out of it until Djarin was back. The medical droids were pulling her gurney back to her room when Anakin rushed up to them and asked "How is she?" The medical droid replied "She will recover, the surgery went well." Anakin walked back into Djarin's room where she was set back on her hospital bed. Djarin slowly opened her eyes still groggy from all the drugs she had been given for the surgery. "Ergh Anakin?" Djarin asked and Anakin replied "Yes I'm here with you Djarin. What happened? How did you get so injured? Djarin sighed but responded "I- I got distracted in a fight." Djarin looked down, sadly. "Is something else bothering you, Djarin?" Anakin asked and she asked "Can I ever love again?" Anakin was surprised at this question, and he replied "What do you mean?" Djarin continued "I- I've felt empty ever since Din died. Sure I can feel happiness, joy and all those other emotions but they never will compare with what I felt with him. I've tried to fill that void with my Jedi missions and dueling, but it is only fleeting moments. Will I ever feel like how I felt with Din again?" Anakin was struck by this question, he didn't really know how to respond but he tried anyway "You love me, you love Padme, you love Obi-Wan. Is that different?" He asked and Djarin responded "You guys will never understand me like he did, we grew up together on Mandalore, the three of you have never lived there so you could never know what it was like. So yes it was different." Anakin pondered this, and said "I've never been good with these type of feelings. Obi-Wan is much wiser in this respect, he has more experience." Djarin sort of just stared into Anakin's eyes for a moment before asking "Do- Do you ever have bad dreams, except they aren't dreams their memories of someone's death?" Anakin felt as if Djarin had cut a knife through him but he played it cool "Why are you asking?" Djarin looked to the side and said "I dream of Din's body, with that horrible lightsaber in him. I never even saw his body but it's so clear like it was actually a memory of mine." Anakin responded with his own experience "I dream of Maul's death. Well not exactly, I dream of the emotions that were running through my body at that point. All my rage was concentrated in that moment, and sometimes when I wake up I can feel it coursing through me still." Djarin held Anakin's hand and they both shared a moment. They both shared something they never thought they would, so they took in the moment going through many emotions while holding hands. Eventually Anakin would have to leave, and Djarin had to rest. The memories they shared were not the only ones which haunted them, Djarin had her arm getting cut off by Dooku and Anakin had Maul's torture of him but they wouldn't share these just yet. Obi-Wan eventually came to see Djarin, but she decided to not ask him about her feelings, she thought it would be awkward and that he would just give her a lecture, she had been in the order for about 2 years now so she should be able to control her feelings. But she couldn't, neither could Anakin who had been in the order for much longer... Or well was before he was expelled after the birth of his children. Djarin and Anakin were both haunted by different memories, and they both had different ways of coping but they ultimately were the same in that they were not able to cope well. Their emotions would one day consume both of them, but who would they consume first?