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Over the summer, Sirius asked Regulus to run away with him. What he didn't expect was for Regulus to say yes without a moment's hesitation.
Regulus and Narcissa had always talked about running away one day, but they never expected it to become a reality until Regulus forced her to come with them.
Regulus felt a bit of guilt for stealing Narcissa away from Bellatrix, but that feeling evaporated the second Bellatrix attempted to Avada Kedavra him and Crucio Sirius.
Sirius had wanted to go to Potter’s house, but Regulus and Narcissa outvoted him. They went to Andromeda instead, who had run away years ago.
Everybody thought it was because she had fallen in love with a Muggleborn, but that was not the case.
She had just wanted to be free from their family’s madness, but ended up alone when her sisters wouldn't come with her—Narcissa because of fear of their parents at the time, and Bellatrix because of her loyalty to them.
When Regulus, Sirius, and Narcissa appeared on her doorstep, Andromeda took them in without a single question. Together, they ran even farther, using their combined magic to fix up a ruined old home that had been burned to a crisp.
It was one of the oldest Black Manors, burned down after one of their ancestors tried to use Fiendfyre for an unknown reason.
Regulus invited his friends—Pandora, Evan, and Barty—to join them, and they quickly accepted, eager to escape their abusive families.
Which meant it was inevitable that Dorcas came along with them.
They settled in quickly, with Andromeda taking a particular liking to Pandora. She was proud of Regulus for having chosen such an “adorable sweetheart” as his best friend.
But Regulus knew none of them were quite as innocent as Andromeda believed.
How did he know, you might ask?
Because he, her supposedly 'innocent' baby cousin, had snuck Logan Malfoy into his room through the window the night before—a boy known for his rebellious nature and an unhinged personality, almost like Barty.
Logan was currently situated on top of Regulus, their lips clashing together messily, desperately. Logan had his hands tangled tightly in Regulus’s hair, and he disconnected their lips, carefully tilting Regulus’s head to the side.
Regulus inhaled sharply as he felt Logan’s lips begin to trail down his neck, his tongue flicking out to suck on the sensitive spots. Logan’s hips ground against him in a slow, deliberate rhythm, and a low groan escaped Regulus whenever the boy’s teeth lightly scraped his skin.
They didn’t even notice when poor Andromeda started walking towards his room to tell him about breakfast.
Now shirtless, Logan was too busy smirking at Regulus’s reaction to him, his hands gripping Regulus’s hips as Regulus gasped beneath him, clutching the sheets so tightly his knuckles went white.
"Merlin..." Regulus groaned, throwing his head back as he felt Logan’s hands slip down into his trousers. He was breathless from the overwhelming combination of Logan's hands on him and the way he was kissing his neck, not to mention the pure lust in his boyfriend's gaze.
Suddenly, the door bursts open. Andromeda is standing there, holding a basket of vegetables. A wide, loving smile is on her face when she cheerfully calls out, “Regulus, honey, time to wake up, breakfast is almost—"
Andromeda cuts herself off, and the smile instantly melts off her face as her eyes land on the two boys.
Logan scrambled off Regulus, tumbling to the floor in a heap. Regulus’s cheeks were burning, and he didn’t know whether to laugh at the situation or cry from mortification.
Andromeda’s face scrunches up in a comical mixture of shock and disgust before she shrieks. "SHIT! REGULUS, LOCK THE DAMN DOOR WHEN YOU BRING BOYS HOME!”
The poor thing looks as if she’s about to start sobbing, shielding her eyes and rushing out the door. Logan has the decency to look ashamed when she slams the door, utterly traumatized.
They both paused to listen as her hurried footsteps rushed to Narcissa’s room instead. They heard the creak of a door opening, Andromeda’s horrified gasp reaching their ears, followed by a squeal of surprise from Narcissa.
A heavy thud followed, as if she had fallen from the bed, and then a cry of pain. "CISSY! WHAT THE HELL IS ALICE FORTESCUE DOING HERE?! Oh my god, oh my god, my eyes!”
Logan and Regulus burst into laughter. "Damn, Narcissa! I didn’t know you were popular with the ladies!” Regulus yelled, loud enough for her to hear from her room.
Alice Fortescue’s hysterical cackles reached them, followed by Narcissa’s humiliated reply. "Fuck you! As if you’re one to talk, twink!”
Regulus chuckled, throwing his shirt on. He clutched Logan’s hand after making sure his boyfriend was decent, dragging him out into the hallway to watch the drama unfold. Andromeda, still clutching her basket of vegetables, looked as if she’d suddenly aged twenty years.
“Oh, Merlin. I’ll just wake Pandora, since I know she’d not be shagging somebody first thing in the—AHHH!” she screamed, throwing the basket. Carrots and potatoes flew across the room.
Pandora screams back. Regulus peers into Pandora’s room, a choked laugh escaping his lips. He sees a flash of red hair, but before he can identify it, they fling themselves off her bed along with the sheets. Unfortunately, the sheets go with the person…which were the only thing covering Pandora’s very exposed body.
Pandora and Andromeda both scream again.
Regulus shoves Logan back so he can’t see, shutting his eyes tightly and trying to scrub the image of his best friend from his mind.
“Lily, NO! I’m naked!” Pandora cried out, a slam quickly following, making her the fourth person that day to fling themselves out of bed in humiliation and panic.
“LILY?!” everybody screamed in unison. Even two screams of surprise came from Sirius’s room, who Regulus had thought was sleeping through this whole ordeal.
Wait…two?
Andromeda clutched her heart and stumbled back, catching her breath. She cautiously approached Sirius’s door, but she didn’t reach for the knob. “Sirius,” she began, her voice sounding so done with everything. “Who the hell is with you?”
“Don’t be so surprised about him bringing someone home, Andy. He’s a slu—“ Logan clapped a hand over Regulus’s mouth before he could comment further, but of course Sirius still heard.
“AM NOT!” he shrieks in rage.
“ARE TOO!”
“AM—“
"Shut. up." Everyone turned at the sound of Narcissa’s voice, her face flushed a deep red. Alice came trailing out of the room behind her, cheeks puffed out in an effort not to burst into laughter. Pandora exited her room as well, now fully clothed, with Lily Evans in tow.
“I’m coming out, guys!” Sirius exclaimed through the door. His footsteps grew closer before they stopped with a sudden "oof!" Sounds of a struggle followed, as if the person Sirius was attempting to drag out of the door was protesting the idea.
“We all just came out, though...even if not in the way we’d hoped,” Regulus muttered, earning a snort from nearly everyone. Pandora smirked, but the expression morphed into an innocent smile when Andromeda shot her a glare of betrayal.
Sirius’s door flew open dramatically, and he strutted out proudly, followed by...
“HELL YEAH! I knew you could pull him, Remus! I told you!” Lily squealed and jumped, a wide grin on her face. Remus’s cheeks went crimson, but a shy smile broke through his embarrassment as Sirius raised a curious brow.
‘Hmm. Looks like he has fancied me for a while, then.’ he thought smugly.
Remus scans everybody in the room, his eyes pausing on Alice—who he seems surprised to see—and Logan—who he does not seem surprised to see—before settling on Andromeda.
“Sorry…” he says sheepishly, looking away and at the wall. Andromeda doesn’t say anything, sighing heavily and running a tired hand down her face.
“Umm…guys?” Everyone spun toward Dorcas’s room at the sound of her voice, which sounded quite nervous. Regulus's eyes met Pandora's, and they both smirked, knowing exactly what she was about to say.
“What is it…?” Andromeda yelled back, fear clear in her voice. Pandora snorted but covered it with a cough, proud that they’d all managed to traumatize big, scary Andromeda with a little making out... and shagging.
Instead of answering, Dorcas darted out of her room, followed by Marlene McKinnon. Their clothes were a mess, hair ruffled and cheeks flushed. Sirius let out a wolf whistle, cutting himself off with a cackle when Marlene shot him a glare.
“Oh my god, okay. So apparently everybody was busy last night,” Andromeda groaned, turning to the last two doors with narrowed eyes. She chose the one labeled “Evan Rosier,” assuming he was the most innocent.
She hesitantly twisted the knob, trying to forget everything that just happened in order to call him for breakfast. “Evan, we are going to be having breakfast soon…” she trailed off, frowning when she saw that the room was empty.
“He’s not there. Ugh, must’ve snuck out. Boys,” she tutted, strolling toward Barty’s door instead. Sirius snickered, and that’s when everyone else couldn’t hold it in any longer. They burst into laughter, muffling it behind their hands.
If anybody was most likely to be shagging, it was Evan and Barty. Everybody knew that. Or so they thought.
Everyone slowly followed behind Andromeda. When she opened the door to Barty’s room, they all peered in, some peeking through the cracks in their fingers.
But the room was empty.
The giggling stopped abruptly, everyone’s eyebrows furrowing in confusion. Everyone’s except Regulus’s, who saw Barty and Evan hiding behind the door, their eyes wide in terror. Evan had his hand over Barty’s mouth, who was trying not to laugh.
Pandora saw them a couple of seconds after Regulus did. He watched her pull her wand out from where it was concealed in her sleeve, a devilish smile on her face. He nearly gasped in surprise when he heard the spell she whispered next, her wand aimed directly at Evan.
“Rictusempra,”
Evan’s eyes bugged out of his head as he hunched over, trying to conceal his laughter. Barty gasped and grabbed onto his boyfriend’s elbows, making everybody turn towards the sound. They all took one step closer.
Two steps.
Three—
“AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!” Evan laughed uncontrollably, collapsing onto the floor and rolling around like a worm.
Sirius let out a girly screech, jumping straight into Remus’s arms.
Logan, meanwhile, looked completely bored, leaning against the door frame and rolling his eyes.
Across the hall, Lily had a proud smirk on her face, spotting Pandora shoving her wand back into her sleeve.
Supposedly "sweet and innocent" Alice looked absolutely thrilled by all the chaos, while Narcissa was just silent, the poor girl probably in shock.
Marlene and Dorcas watched the entire scene with twin wicked smiles, their fingers intertwined.
And Andromeda…Andromeda just looked so tired.
Barty fumbled for his wand, desperate to undo the spell on his boyfriend. When he finally managed to cast “Finite Incantatem”, Evan sagged in relief and laid on the carpet to catch his breath. Barty stood, staring at Andromeda with an expectant look, and when she didn't say anything, he chuckled awkwardly.
“So… you gonna kick us out onto the streets yet?”
Andromeda’s comical angry kitten face flickered with surprise for a second before settling on amusement with just a tad bit of confusion. “No! I’m just… processing. Besides, it would be pretty hypocritical to kick you out. Though I am quite disappointed, I thought my gaydar would work better.”
“What?!” everybody screeched, mouths agape. “You’re gay?!”
Andromeda snorted. “No, I’m pansexual. But close enough.”
Sirius looked far too smug. He was smirking at Regulus—who very pointedly ignored eye contact—and sneaking winks at all the other flustered couples.
Reggie~" Sirius sang, twirling a strand of his messy black hair tauntingly. Regulus continued to ignore him, but that just made Sirius more insistent. “Reggie, Reggie, Reggie, Reggie, Reggie, Reggie, Regulus, REGU—“
“WHAT?” Regulus snapped, turning to glower at his brother. Sirius didn’t flinch at the yell. He simply gave Regulus a shit-eating grin, nodding his head as a gesture. "You forgot to zip the fly.”
Regulus’s eyes widened and he looked down, noticing his jeans were, indeed, unzipped. “Oops.” Logan smiled mischievously. “That would be my fault.”
Marlene choked on her spit.
”Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Regulus muttered, zipping his pants back up. He shoved past everybody, storming towards the bathroom so he can get ready. He slammed the door behind him, hiding his face in his hands.
“So…” Narcissa began hesitantly. Everyone turned to glance at her, eyebrows raised. She gave Andromeda her sweetest smile possible. “We got enough room at the table for five more…?”