Chapter Text
“If you so much as dare to embarrass the Itadori name, I will forever pray that you'll be cursed.”
The quietness of the morning was shattered, broken by the pebbles of speech his mother—the title he refrained from ever saying out loud, only ever referring to her by name if he could—had thrown at him. Yuji averted his gaze, continuing to hold his head high, a small sign of defiance before catching her eye in the hand mirror. Kaori scowled, white powder creasing in the newly formed wrinkles of her brows. She muttered something to one of the young servants, exhaling as she eyed Yuji's profile. It was enough to make him lower his head. Her hand swiped something nearby and she exhaled audibly, the servant flinching as the object they were holding was snatched.
Voice strained and barely holding back her contempt, she roughly pulled on Yuji's hair, lips pursed as she spoke, “this ceremony will be the last chance I give you, do you understand? I will not have your insolence or ill-favour drag my name through the mud, not any more so than it already has, with your damned presentation and what not.” Specks of white appeared at the corner of Kaori’s red lips. Yuji nodded, not wanting to displease his mother with an inappropriate answer.
A calmer sigh whistled through her nose as she placed the comb down, her elegance returning as quick as a wrist flick to unfurl a fan, motioning for the servant to pick up where she'd begun to style.
Deciding she'd said her part, getting everything she was feeling off her chest, Kaori took one last glance at Yuji, briefly speaking to the few servants scattered around the rō before departing through the shoji doors. The suffocation slowly dissipated, yet the unnerving tensity remained, nestled deep within the foundation like a termite. It would never leave, for as long as Kaori remained.
That feeling didn't lift as they traveled across the land, some hours of rough traversing, great views of the scenery unfolding before Yuji's eyes. It was magnificent, far more beautiful than anything he'd ever seen before, and different to the last journey he'd taken to the ceremony. However he couldn't enjoy it to the fullest, not knowing the extreme labour the bearers were under. It disturbed Yuji to the point he felt queasy. Perhaps it was the constant rocking of the palanquin, or so he tries to convince himself of.
The lurching of the palanquin surprised Yuji and he clutched onto the side, trying to balance himself. He heard a few hushed shouts, muddled with commands and boisterous voices. He caught himself fiddling with the hem of his sleeve, silently cursing at himself for letting him get carried away and forget what he was wearing. He heard Kaori's voice, unmistakable even with the added noise.
Hesitantly, his hand wavered before him, out stretched and ready to pull back the viscose curtain shielding him from the rest of the world. He'd have preferred it if he could remain inside, enclosed and safely protected, like a pearl in an oyster. Yes, he'd have preferred that much more to the alternative. As his thoughts ran rampant of the things he wished he could do, the door was pulled open. Unfortunate was the first word that popped into his head as the light burst inside his cocoon.
Greeted by the gentle swirl of a cold breeze, Yuji put on a neutral face of serenity, carefully exiting the palanquin with the help of a servant girl. The brilliant sun caught him by surprise and against his better judgement he raised his arm, shielding his eyes from the dazzle. It was a beautiful day, one where he'd have preferred to have played in a nearby stream—as he had done a few times as a child—or quietly read underneath a shaded spot of a tree.
Filling his head with small daydreams, ones that didn't interfere or deepen to the point of adorning an absent gaze, he followed behind Kaori. She hadn't looked in his direction once, the back of her head an all too familiar sight and one which Yuji preferred. Being in his mother's shadow wasn't uncommon, it had dwindled since his secondary trait presentation significantly, but he was always beneath her in some way. It didn't bother him any more than an irritating fly buzzing around your head. Infuriating, but something you could ignore with enough will power.
Eyes focused on the train of Kaori's mo, a stark white against the plum of her jūnihitoe. Unwanted thoughts of earlier arose, how his mother had quickly whispered words into the servants ears and disappeared. Not long later Yuji had discovered what she had spoken about. She'd instructed the servants to fashion him in a pale green jūnihitoe, layered with only three itsutsuginu and without a decorative karaginu.
While it had surprised him at the lack of clothing, he didn't mind. He just disliked the fact that many eyes would be on him, and he'd draw more attention by the little respect he would be showing. It was his mother's way of showing her punishment, possibly a form of amusement for herself as well.
Yuji's eyes caught on the large expanse of garden, not realizing how much he'd missed on his way in. He blinked, dispersing the remnants of the trance that clung to his mind. Everything was in its place, not a leaf nor weed ruining the perfect beauty of the grounds. Yuji wanted to run among the budding greenery, feel the life emanating with every footfall, never looking back. Oh, curse the geta he was wearing.
Casting his gaze back into the ground at the sound of Kaori's voice, he was brought back to what lay ahead; an exhausting day of keeping up a façade to please his mother.
Away from hungry eyes and drawn out conversations, Yuji was finally able to breathe. He lowered his fan, stretching his fingers to ease the ache settling in his joints before sighing.
The seclusion was a great reprieve, to get away from the throng of people, the incessant use of pheromones to seduce and subdue, a frowned upon action that should never take place within the presence of nobility, yet it ran rife among them today. It gave Yuji a headache, a dull throbbing behind the eyes, only increasing with each self centered colloquy he was roped into, all to eventually sidle up to his mother's side to gain her approval.
The calm of this far away haven was a blessing. He needed time to think, to choose appropriately, to please his mother. He hung his head, allowing for his hair to slip over his shoulders, flowing gracefully, as if it was black water cascading over a rocky ledge. He allowed for his eyes to close, his heartbeat thumping against his eyelids.
A sudden cough caught him by surprise and he lifted his fan, body tense, holding it in place before lifting his gaze. He was greeted by a warm smile and familiar black iris’. A wave of embarrassment washed over Yuji as he regarded who was in front of him.
“Yoshino-sama, you startled me,” he paused, watching as the man opened his mouth to retaliate, cutting him off instead. “What if we had been accompanied? There are many watchful eyes here today. We cannot be impudent.” There was silence, the sound of muffled voices carried on the wind, a spark of truth in what had just been voiced.
Junpei shook his head, a smile breaking out onto his face. “Itadori-kun, how many discussions like this have we entertained? I would never put you at risk. Never. And what's with the formality?” Yuji felt his cheeks warm. He watched as Junpei stepped forward, his shadow falling onto him, enveloping him in a cool embrace. The distance between them was socially viewed with disfavour, an obvious thought would certainly arise from anyone who noticed them.
Keeping his eyes lowered, he took in the brilliant blue of Junpei’s sokutai, the hō reminding Yuji of the crystal blue waters that glittered in the sun, the embroidery of an even lighter blue truly made it almost like a replica. Memories of playing with Junpei by the pond's of Kaori's residence brought a soft smile to his lips, hidden from Junpei's view.
Casting a slight glance to the side, his heart skipped a beat. Yuji caught sight of someone. Stepping back, he lifted his fan, an apologetic look gracing his eyes as he gazed at Junpei, eyes locked in hope. Understanding washing over his face. Yuji noticed his features seemed almost taught, pained in some way as he acknowledged the time had passed and that someone was nearby. Something neither of them could risk, no matter what.
His mind went back to the situation at hand. Someone was with them, not directly, but to the side, minding their own business. White hair was what caught Yuji's attention first. A red pattern of a concave circle decorated the strands midway, stark against the whiteness, like blood on snow. It was an unusual marking. Ritualistic perhaps?
Yuji blanched when he was caught staring, their hard gaze catching his, eyes sharp as steel. It was unnerving, and it caused him to look away, feigning a smile as he brought his attention back to Junpei, who was far too at ease.
“–Itadori-kun? Did you hear me?” nodding, Yuji tried to regain his earlier mindset, shifting slightly when he felt Junpei's hand graze his sleeve. “Not here, Junpei-kun.” Something sparked in Junpei's eyes, a familiar dilation of pupils reminding Yuji why they shouldn't be so close. It was hypnosis at the worst possible time.
“Itadori Yuji, you foolish little–oh, Yoshino-sama, what a surprise! I hope Itadori hasn't been giving you any trouble?” Kaori's voice was like a whip, a sudden slash before reigning in as if nothing had happened, still leaving behind a nasty sting in its wake to those it touched.
Yuji let his face rest, his displeasure barely hidden at his mother's poor attempt at covering her mistreatment. “Of course not, Kaori-dono. We were just discussing old times, were we not, Itadori-sama?” Junpei's voice was respectful, an obvious ploy to relax Kaori. It worked, as they conversed for a while, letting Yuji contemplate the gardens again.
“Itadori-san, we have much to attend to. You running off has caused quite the ruckus for your poor mother,” she paused, letting out a forced laugh before giving Junpei a wide smile, black teeth shining on display. A show of her authority. “Come, you must choose today, it's far too important to waste. Isn't that right, Yoshino-sama? It's an important day for you as well, is it not? You must be busy trying to woo who you desire, another beta, perhaps?” Yuji tensed.
That was a warning, a stick thrust into the side of a wounded animal to see if it would still snap its jaws.
Junpei gave a smile, brief and unconvincing to Yuji, but enough to ward off Kaori's attempts at insulting him once more. “Of course, Kaori-dono. Though my efforts to court haven't gone to plan recently.” That sentence alone brought a scary look upon Kaori's face and her lip twitched. Yuji knew nothing good would come out of the two if things continued this way.
“Junpei-kun, I wish you the best of luck with your courting. May your wishes be fulfilled. I must take my leave and escort my…mother.” The word left his mouth harsher than he intended and it presented a sour taste in his mouth. It was just his mind playing tricks. His mother gathered herself, turning her shoulder, refusing to look back.
Yuji sighed, his wrist aching from holding his fan. He just wanted to leave, run away. He looked back at Junpei, his eyes glassy, emotions rampant within their depths. It was enough to make Yuji want to voice his discomfort. To propose they run away together, leave everything behind, start anew. But the look was gone in a blink, a reserved, almost sad smile decorating Junpei's face in place of what he'd just witnessed. A sign Yuji took to leave.
He turned his back, ready to walk, a niggle of regret already forming in his mind. In a quiet voice, he spoke, “Jun, I'll find you later. We can talk, freely, once all this is over.”
Peaking over his shoulder, Yuji saw the glow on Junpei's face, a bright shine to his eyes. It was enough to make Yuji grin, a sad one at that, for he knew there would most likely never be a later for them.
He could only hope.
Chapter 2
Notes:
Next chapter! Wanted to post the first two chapters quickly to provide more substance to the story.
Updates will slow now, maybe to once every two weeks or more, only because I don't want to overwhelm myself with rapid updates when I don't have the chapters to post. I'm a slow writer, I'm indecisive and far too critical of my own work. Please have patience🙏🏻
Chapter warning(s) – emotional abuse/manipulation, talks of arranged partnerships.
Chapter Text
The main ceremony gardens were alive with guests from all over the country. It was overwhelming to Yuji's senses, his delicate nose being attacked from all sides. Woody notes of cedar, delicate clematis, bold tangerine and lemon, harsh lime, pungent pollen. He waved his fan, trying to disperse of the smells. Discreetly he waved the small pouch of lavender he kept hidden under his sleeve—tied higher on his wrist to avoid detection—under his nose, to help the onslaught on his senses as well as calm his nerves.
Shuffling to his spot beside his mother, he followed her like a lamb, smiling when needing to, bowing appropriately. Kaori was visibly enjoying herself, cheeks almost reddening if not for all that white powder. She was busy talking to someone of great importance, using flattery to leverage herself.
Yuji wanted to roll his eyes.
Every now and again, disdainful eyes bore down on him, sharp and quick. If he didn't look up at certain moments, he would miss their wicked gaze, hushed whispers of scorn and disgust. Inwardly Yuji felt his own feelings of anger rising with each comment, those with immense aristocratic power who thought their discreetness was unmatched appalled him, seeing as they didn't really intend on hiding the fact they hated male omegas, and those below them in general.
Judging by the material of their robes, the designs, patterns, even down to the shade of red on their lips, he could tell of their riches. They would look down on the finest of omegas, simply because of that label alone. Yuji wondered if he were the Empress’ child, still a lowly omega boy, would he receive the same treatment?
He was busy staring at a gorgeous cluster of peonies when his attention was demanded, his mother using a restrained, delicate cover of tone. A façade. Yuji turned his head, gaze meeting directly with the man Kaori had been conversing with. Clad in a brilliant forest green sokutai, the colour matching with the roots of his hair. It caught Yuji's attention.
He must have been blatantly staring for his mother, flicking her wrist rather violently, signaling for his attention once again. Yuji bowed, simple and modest.
The man gave a smile, disinterest feigning his features, though his eyes contained something Yuji couldn't quite place. “Still learning your etiquette, are we?” Yuji glanced towards his mother, whose eyes had grown wide, her mouth no longer set in an overbearing smile. She shook her head, positioning herself into a lower bow. Yuji didn't follow. “Of course not, Lord Naoya Zen’in. We are most grateful to be in your presence.”
Hearing those words, Yuji bowed again, against his will, earning an airy laugh to fall from the man's lips. He waved a hand, signaling for the necessity of the action to be discarded. “I came to see what you had offered,” Naoya Zen'in paused, watching as Yuji tried to avoid his wandering eyes before proceeding. “I'm intrigued, for many moons have passed since we had last laid eyes upon another. Especially in the dazzling light of the sun.”
At that last comment, Yuji hardened his expression, his nose twitching as the scent of smoke reached his lungs, the familiar undertone of nettles subdued underneath. It brought back unpleasant memories. A collection Yuji never wanted to remember. A time when titles weren't so important or necessary. Naoya gave a smug, teasing smirk, knowing he'd struck a nerve before departing.
Kaori hissed in his ear, reminding him that his choice must be correct, that any foul thoughts should remain behind his lips. Not that he should be thinking of such hatred, for he was blessed to be given the chance to wed someone important. Yuji wanted to scream, to tear the heavy items of clothing he wore and throw them at her. Instead he swallowed his disobedience, a placid smile replacing the bile rising up his throat.
“As an…omega,” the words were seethed, her anger beginning to show, but she continued as if she hadn't just insulted him, “you are permitted with one chance, one! Throw this away, and I'll feed you to the hunting dogs. I've promised Lord Naoya Zen'in yourself, do not betray the little trust I have built with him. You have no right to decline my hard work.”
All this was harshly whispered to him behind her fan, using it like the coward she was, all while he had to pretend everything was as it should be.
He wanted to go home.
A cacophony of music began to play, cutting through the hubbub of voices. It signalled the beginning of the ceremony.
Kaori, eyes sharp, pinned her gaze on Yuji as he glanced back. The sounds were deafening to him, surrounding him in their oppressive nature, strings wrapping around his body, his heart. It resonated deep within him, a vice gripping his insides as he fought to overcome the overwhelming anxiety swirling within him.
A stinging sensation snapped him back. Kaori stood behind him, hand on his shoulder, nails digging uncomfortably into his skin, past the material of his clothing. Eyes wider than he intended, he looked to her for reassurance, advice, a gentle word to calm his nerves. All he got was a sneer and the glint of black pearls.
“Enough. A frightened rabbit gets caught eventually, no matter how long it hides.” She paused, eyes intent on catching Yuji's reaction, her lips now pulled back in a devil ridden smile. “The gutting is considerably far more enjoyable once it's in the palm of the hunter's hand.”
Dropping his fan, momentarily frightened at her words, muscles tense. Yuji lifted his sleeve to cover his mouth. He was to be sick. Kaori gave a short chuckle, retracting her hand, but not before giving his shoulder a quick nudge. Yuji took his chance, on weakened legs he followed the path, eyes downcast as he trailed the stones.
Head filled with unpleasant images, of animals struggling against cruel hands—the loop around their leg lifted, only to fall into the hands of something much worse. He thought a wolf, with its incisive teeth and unrelenting hold, would be more forgiving than the hands of a hunter.
Yuji was ushered along with the rest of the omegas, filing into a building to the side, equally as extravagantly designed. Chatter was minimal, too many nerves pulsing around the small space, brows knitted or lips indented with worry. Yuji swallowed the lump in his throat, his shaking hands betraying the cool mask of calm he'd perfected over the years. He, too, was afraid.
Lining up, in a small grouping of five, each line gradually being led through the large entrance gates again. Yuji felt his feet aching, his wrist rigid with pain. The walk was slow, his eyes scanning the enormous audience spread out in the court gardens. The overwhelming presence of so many people was enough to make Yuji falter, muscles in his neck twitching as he sort for one person in particular. He caught his mother's eye, her face no longer presenting a smile, but a hard expression, her eyebrows set in a slight scowl.
Yuji turned away, now looking for Lord Naoya Zen'in. The alpha his mother had promised him to. He couldn't see him. That striking hair and the adorning of such recognisable colours. He scanned again, over the same faces, noting the colours of garments or headpieces before swiveling.
He noticed an omega girl, no more than nineteen years of age, bowing deeply to the respective partner of her choice. They presented her with an item, something Yuji couldn't quite
make out, but it seems to have been reciprocated. He thought, for the small bout of seconds he could spare to think of someone else, of whether their love would be genuine. Many alpha's had multiple courters, often attending this ceremony every chance to acquire a new omega to line their shelves with. It was distasteful to all omegas, yet nothing had been raised to rectify the issue. It was something they all lived with, a fear of being replaced or favour waning as the next treasure was taken in.
Yuji didn't spare any more time thinking of it, seeing the girl’s bright smile was enough to quell that worry. He hoped it would last and she'd have a genuine family. He only wished the same for himself.
He turned, returning to the matter at hand.
Yuji could feel the thudding of his heart against his ribcage. He needed to find Lord Naoya Zen'in and fast. In his haste, his eyes caught on a figure in the shadows. White hair with a splash of red, deep magenta eyes. Without thinking, Yuji began to close the space between them, the pull of recognisable colours pushing him forward. Following the narrow paths, eyes occasionally taking in the sight of others nearby, who all have eyes trained on certain courters, waiting for their desired partner to appear before them. As he approached he noticed someone behind the individual, dressed in blacks and deep blues, face obscured by a mask.
A head servant, possibly, given a chance to court? The man behind must be the Lord of the house, overseeing the ceremony. The thought struck something with him, his chest aching. Yuji felt his heart increase in speed, his footfalls becoming less confident.
This moment of madness needed to pass, the dizzying prospect of going against everything that had been instilled in him, to choose something for himself, even if it meant jumping from the kamado and into the fire. He must regain his composure, find Lord Noaya Zen’in, and live the life he was told too, to endure it as best he could. He must…
Yuji couldn't repeat his inner mantra. He needed to run, to escape from the cruel clutches that tormented him. He knew it would be a risk, a terrible risk that would stain his name forever, but it was one he was willing to take.
Kaori—his mother—would never forgive him of his choice.
Lord Naoya Zen'in would surely hunt him down and demand his freedom to be stripped, and Junpei…the thought made Yuji want to vomit, his stomach squeezing with anxiety. He didn't want to hurt Junpei by choosing someone else, but he didn't want to drag him into Kaori's wrath, knowing he'll only lose everything he'd worked incredibly hard to achieve.
Taking a deep breath to steady himself, Yuji closed the remaining distance between the two, his eyes never leaving magenta iris'. A breeze of whispers began to sing yet Yuji remained as calm as he could. If he was to break free from his mother, he needed a way to sever that tie. One that was too bold and strong to brush aside or twist in her favour.
He withdraws his hands from the confines of his sleeves and presents his wrist.
Gasps of surprise ripple through the immediate vicinity of the audience, stunned and ashamed of the display he'd shown. Yuji knew what this could entail: he'd either be shamed and escorted outside, or he'd be at the mercy of a blade. The thought of cold metal pressing against his throat caused his arm to quiver.
He refuses to be the measly mouse his mother keeps caged any longer.
Now he waits. Wrist bare, chin held high, for his chosen courter to decide upon his fate.