Wither in Spring (English version)

by WanderedWriter

Summary:

Haruno Sakura wasn't a girl, but she was. And perhaps that was what hurt her the most.

Notes:

First of all, English isn't my first language, so please forgive me if there are any mistakes. Please correct me (kindly) if you find any.

Please comment a lot! And enjoy reading!

Chapter 1: Born in disgrace, die with honor.

Sakura Haruno wasn’t a girl.

He wasn’t one when he was born, and he certainly wasn’t one on his fourth birthday, months before entering the academy.

Sakura Haruno wasn’t a girl, and yet his parents named him as if he were. So, logically, he dressed like one—because otherwise, Mom and Dad would get angry.

Not that Sakura ever complained, of course. Clothes had never really mattered to him, and in his clan, people were always named after plants or flowers, so being called Sakura wasn’t that big of a deal. He guessed his pink hair didn’t really help his case either, but that was fine because he loved his hair and liked that they let him keep it long instead of cutting it like the other boys.

Besides, it only made sense to assume that eventually, people would realize that he was actually a he, and all the nonsense about being treated like a girl would blow over. Then no one would even remember it, right?

…Right?

Sakura Haruno wasn’t a girl, but he had trusted too much and allowed himself to be treated as one, believing people would notice the mistake sooner or later—and in the innocence of a child, he had unknowingly sealed his own fate. Still, it wasn’t entirely his fault. Four-year-old children, even when they’re as smart as Sakura was, generally don’t understand the kind of consequences that something so small can cause.

“You’re so pretty, Sakura-chan,” his mother said with a sweet smile. “Your hair is such a beautiful color.”

Sakura blinked as his mother brushed his hair. His eyes were fixed on his textbook, reading about chakra theory, memorizing everything he could and storing questions in his mind.

“You’ll be the prettiest girl in the clan when you grow up,” his mom praised.

Sakura frowned slightly. “But I’m a boy, Mom,” he said, wrinkling his nose. “So I’ll be handsome, not pretty.”

Sakura Haruno wasn’t a girl—but in the eyes of the world, and in the eyes of his parents, he was. And there was nothing he could do about it, even as he began to realize, at age five, that he didn’t like being treated that way.

Sakura grimaced as he felt a painful tug on his hair. “Never…” his mother began to say, “ever say something like that again, Sakura.”

The green eyes—eyes just like his own—looked at him with a mixture of emotions that made him feel very small and very helpless. His eyes filled with tears as the pain in his scalp throbbed from the sharp yank his mother had given him.

“Why?” he asked. And he felt the tears gathering in his eyes.

“Listen to me carefully, Sakura-chan.” His mother’s gaze softened. “In our clan, all firstborn children are born as girls. Since its founding, only girls have been born first. They bring good fortune. They are the daughters of spring, blessed by the gods. Being born a girl is a good thing…”

“But I didn’t…”

“Yes.” His mother looked at him with sadness. “You didn’t. You were born a boy. A misfortune. Boys are only born when the clan is about to suffer a great tragedy. The last time a firstborn was male, the clan was cursed with the fracturing of its soul. We were never able to recover from that.”

“Am I a misfortune?”

“Yes, you are,” his mother replied without hesitation. And Sakura felt an awful feeling grow in his chest. “And that is why, Sakura, you must live your life as a girl. Because the day they discover you’re not, the misfortune that falls upon our lives—and the clan—will be your fault. So you must keep being a girl, Sakura-chan. Or do you want to see mommy and daddy die because of you?”

The words pierced his heart like a bleeding wound that could never heal properly. His eyes spilled tears as he tried to process them, feeling guilt bloom in his chest for a sin he hadn’t even known he’d committed.

“I’m sorry, mother.” He apologized. “I didn’t mean to be born a boy.”

“I know, my little one,” his mother said sweetly. “But you were, and the damage is already done.”

Sakura sobbed, feeling like a terrible person just for being born. Why had he been born a boy? Now everyone was going to suffer because of him. Just because he was born this way. Stupid, stupid Sakura. Bad Sakura. He should never have been born a boy.

“How can I fix it, mommy?” His voice was scared, broken by crying, filled with a guilt no child his age should ever carry.

“You must atone for your sins, Sakura-chan,” his mother answered gracefully. Her hands began to softly comb through his hair again.
“You must live as a woman for the rest of your days or, in the worst case, die young and far from the clan so that no one ever learns what you’ve done.”

Die young or live the rest of his life as someone he wasn’t. Neither was a choice Sakura wanted, but he knew he had no right to complain after what he had done.

“It’s a blessing that you were accepted into the academy,” his mother went on. “Because once you become a kunoichi, at least you’ll be able to choose the way you die. At least there will be honor and joy in your death, and you won’t die in complete disgrace knowing the clan has suffered again because of you.”

“Yes, mommy,” Sakura cried.

Sakura Haruno wasn’t a girl, but he had to be. Because being a boy was a disgrace, a curse, and to atone for his sins he had to become something he wasn’t, even if it hurt. Even if it only brought him pain. But that was fine—Sakura had accepted it. Because being born a boy was his fault, and he had to make it right.

Because making things right had always been a Haruno’s duty, whether it was their fault or not.

Chapter 2: Live like a flower in a world of lies

The morning was unusually cold that day, Sakura thought as he curled up in bed. He didn’t feel like getting up yet.

“Sakura!” His mother’s voice echoed through the house. “Get up already! You’re going to be late!”

Sakura let out a low sigh, his cheek still pressed against the pillow. For a moment longer, he allowed the warmth of the sheets to hold him, as if they could stop time.

Today would be the day he’d be assigned a team.

Today he would stop being a student.

Today he would legally become an adult.

And yet, he felt the same.

Shouldn’t it feel different?

He sat up slowly, rubbing his eyes. His pink hair fell messily over his shoulders, and for some reason he couldn’t explain, he thought of Ino. She was probably already ready hours ago, with her blonde hair tied in that perfect bun, her sky-blue eyes accentuated with makeup that made them stand out, and that stupid confident smile that looked prettier in the morning than it had any right to be.

Sakura pressed his lips together. “Stupid pig,” he muttered, insulting the girl as if she could hear him.

He walked across the room and looked at the red dress hanging on the closet door. Sakura sighed, eyeing the dress on the bed with distaste. He had thought maybe—just maybe—he could avoid wearing it this time, naively hoping they’d give him a little more freedom now that he would be considered a legal adult.

They hadn’t.

Almost as if it were part of some inevitable ritual, his fingers brushed over the crimson fabric. It was soft to the touch—too soft for his liking—and it still held the faint vanilla scent his mother insisted on using whenever she washed his clothes. Sakura held it up in front of himself for a moment, staring at the carefully embroidered edges, the tight seams tailored to fit his slender figure. It was a pretty dress. Elegant, even. One that would probably look lovely on someone else.

But not on him.

Not when all he could feel, looking at it, was the echo of a lie he’d been forced to wear like a second skin.

He sighed again. And then again. As if he could exhale his feelings hard enough to empty himself inside. To become light, harmless, bearable.

While dressing, he noticed how tight the sleeves had become. He’d grown. Not by much, but enough. Had the others grown too? Would Naruto show up with that dumb face of his even though he hadn’t passed? Would Kiba be there with Akamaru? And Sasuke...?

He froze, hands clutching the dress fabric.

Sasuke.

His brows furrowed with frustration.

“SAKURA!”

“I’m coming, I’m coming!” he shouted back, rushing down the stairs while tying his ninja headband into his hair.

His mother looked at him disapprovingly, but Sakura barely registered the scolding. He stepped outside and the cold air bit at his cheeks, forcing him to quicken his pace.

The walk to the academy felt longer than usual. Not because of the distance, but because of the looks. They were always there—subtle but sharp like needles: the condescending smiles of the few who hadn’t left the clan to live as nomads, the uncomfortable glances from some of the parents, the curious eyes of children who didn’t understand why their parents whispered that they shouldn’t play too much with her—because she was a shinobi, and shinobi were unstable.

Sakura said nothing. He held his head high, just like he’d been taught, with straight shoulders and an upright back, the dress fluttering gently. His body moved with the perfect mix of graceful softness and feminine dignity, looking like a wilted flower trying to keep blooming through discipline.

At the entrance to the classroom, he could glimpse his classmates. Iruka stood before them, speaking. Sakura hesitated. Maybe he could just wait outside?

“It’s time to announce your new genin teams,” Iruka declared. “Team One will consist of... Sakura, where do you think you’re going?”

Sakura turned around. There was nervousness in his eyes.

“Ah, sensei... you see…” But he went silent when the man pointed to a seat—right next to Kiba. He moved obediently toward it, sliding into place.

“Well, someone has to be in Sasuke-kun’s group. I wonder who,” he heard Ino say from a few rows ahead, sitting between a bored-looking Sasuke Uchiha and a rather bruised Uzumaki Naruto.

“It definitely won’t be that pig,” Sakura muttered, annoyed.

Kiba, beside him, snickered. “Jealous?”

“Ugh.” Sakura spat. But there was a red tint on his ears that made the boy laugh. He leaned against Kiba, his hands catching Akamaru and curling the pup into his arms.

Kiba was the only one who knew Sakura wasn’t really a girl. He had found out when they were seven years old, after catching his scent and then walking in on him peeing in the forest. He’d promised to keep the secret in exchange for training together and getting favors—somehow solidifying a strong friendship that always left Ino irritated, as she couldn’t understand why Sakura spent time with that loud, smelly mutt.

Kiba was also his only friend, much to his mother’s pride—she saw a potential future engagement with one of the strong clans of Konoha as a good thing.
A complete nonsense, in Sakura’s opinion, because he was quite sure he didn’t want to marry a boy. And because Kiba had no interest in marrying anyone ever, claiming it was his sister’s job as the future matriarch of the Inuzuka clan.

“Who would you want on your team?” he asked Kiba, resting his head on his shoulder. The scent of dog, herbs, and dirt flooded his nose.

“Objectively? I think it’d be best to have a team that complements my skills.” A mischievous smile played on his lips. “But it’d also be great to be on the same team as a smart-ass like you. I’d be the muscles and you the brains—bet we’d kick a lot of ass!” A cheerful laugh escaped his lips, which he quickly stifled when he noticed Iruka-sensei’s warning glare.

Sakura liked Kiba, especially because he could act like a boy around him—be rude, silly, or improper—and find that his friend was even worse.
And the best part? His mother didn’t even scold him if she knew he was with Kiba.

Sakura looked up at him, mimicking his smile. “Mhm, sure.” He teased, rolling his eyes playfully and elbowing him. “Because nothing sounds better than having to save your dumb ass every time.”

“As if you don’t love saving my amazing ass.” Kiba shot back, elbowing him harder. Sakura elbowed him even harder in return. “Oh, you little piece of—”

“Team Three,” Iruka continued. He cleared his throat and shot them another warning look. “Will be made up of…”

Kiba and Sakura waited a few moments before Kiba began murmuring, “You’d think that by now he’d finally separate us, put us on opposite sides of the room or something.”

“Maybe he didn’t because last time we ended up throwing paper planes across the classroom. And then using Akamaru as a messenger.” Sakura reminded him, amused.

Iruka cleared his throat again, and the murmuring in the classroom faded.

“Team Seven,” he announced, and Sakura felt his stomach twist. He hadn’t been called yet, so there was still a chance he’d end up with them. “Will be composed of: Uzumaki Naruto…”

“Yes!” Naruto jumped so high he almost knocked over a desk.

“…Uchiha Sasuke…”

A wave of murmurs swept through the classroom. Several girls sighed. The boys—Kiba and Sakura included—rolled their eyes. Sasuke didn’t even flinch.

“And Haruno Sakura.”

Sakura froze.

For a moment, he heard nothing. Everything felt muted. Not the shriek Ino let out upon realizing she wasn’t on Sasuke’s team, nor Naruto’s even louder shriek for having ended up with him. Only the sound of his own breathing, uneven, and the slight tremble in his fingers as he intertwined them over his lap.

Why with him?

He knew lots of people wanted to be with Sasuke—especially the girls—but not Sakura.

Sakura avoided him.

Sakura hated him, even if he wasn’t sure exactly why. Maybe because Sasuke represented everything Sakura could never be, or everything others expected him to adore.
Or because Ino stopped being his friend because of him (it was definitely partly that). It was like Sasuke’s very existence pushed Sakura to detest him deeply.

“Oh, great.” Kiba muttered with a raised brow, though his eyes held a trace of disappointment. “You get the problem children. The brooding loner and the screaming clown. Good luck not dying within a week.” He patted his back with sympathy.

Sakura didn’t react right away, as if his brain needed to reboot after getting past the violent thoughts aimed at the Uchiha.

Naruto and Sasuke. On the same team. And with him.

Sakura dropped his head onto the desk. Kiba’s hand caught him just in time to stop what would’ve been a painful thud.

“What a nightmare.”

Kiba’s name was called by Iruka, followed by Hinata Hyuga and Shino Aburame.

Sakura looked at him. Kiba was looking back—not with his usual mocking or wild grin, but with a small, dim smile. And Sakura thought he looked like a sad puppy who wouldn’t get to be with his favorite person.

Something tightened in Sakura’s chest. “You’re going to be fine,” he whispered, low enough that only Kiba could hear. “Hyuga and Aburame are good.”

Kiba didn’t say anything for a moment. Then he shrugged. “I know. I’m just worried you won’t survive without me.”

Sakura snorted and gave him a light kick in the leg. “I’m stronger than I look, idiot.”

Suddenly, Naruto Uzumaki’s voice rose, distracting both Sakura and Kiba from their little game of jabs. “Iruka-sensei! Why does a great ninja like me have to be on the same team as a slug like Sasuke?”

“Sasuke had the highest grades of all the graduates. Naruto, you had the worst!” Iruka scolded, prompting laughter from the class. “To make balanced teams, we paired the top student with the worst.”

Sakura absently wondered what that meant about him. Then he thought maybe he was just there as cannon fodder, being the child of civilians. It was a depressing thought, and it made him want to punch something.

“Just don’t get in my way, loser,” came Sasuke’s cold voice, snapping Sakura out of his thoughts.

“Grrr… What did you say?!” Naruto shouted.

“Are you hard of hearing?” Sasuke replied.

Sakura shuddered and sighed again. “What a nightmare,” he muttered, and Kiba burst out laughing at that.

“Ahem,” Iruka called the class to attention. “After lunch, you’ll meet your new Jonin instructors. Until then, class is dismissed.”

Sakura grabbed his bag, moving alongside Kiba as they left the classroom.

“Sakura-chan!” Naruto caught up to him. “Wanna have lunch together so we can get to know each other better? Since we’re on the same team?”

Sakura blinked. “No, thank you,” he said. But he felt bad when he saw the light fade from Naruto’s eyes. “I have other plans today, but we can eat together some other time, Uzumaki-san.”

“I’ll hold you to that, dattebayo!” Naruto said brightly.

Sakura offered him a polite smile and quickly walked off with Kiba. The two began walking faster and faster, trying to outpace one another to reach their usual lunch spot under the shade of a huge, thick tree.

Sakura glanced at Shino, then at Hinata, who were eating quietly in the distance. He nudged Kiba and leaned in to say, “The Hyuga girl is pretty,” while grabbing an onigiri from Kiba’s bento box.

Kiba let out a laugh. “Didn’t know she was your type.”

“I don’t have a type,” Sakura replied.

“Sure you do. You like loudmouths with oversized egos, blue eyes, and blond hair.”

Sakura narrowed his eyes at him and threw a piece of sausage, which Akamaru intercepted mid-jump. “Jerk.”

Kiba stuck out his tongue.

Sakura huffed, biting into her onigiri aggressively.

"What are you gonna do when you meet your new sensei?" Kiba asked, his mouth full of rice and fish, while Akamaru nibbled on his dog treats.

"Probably ask him to kill me before I end up murdering those two idiots myself." Sakura bit into the onigiri again, with less enthusiasm than before. The shade under the tree didn’t feel as refreshing as it usually did. The wind carried the echo of laughter from other students, and for some reason, everything sounded more distant, more foreign.

Kiba gave him a light knock on the head with his knuckles. "You could at least pretend you're excited. You’re a real ninja now, not just a student."

"Oh, yeah. So exciting," he rolled his eyes. Then lowered his voice, almost like it hurt to admit. "I don’t know if I’m ready to work with them, Kiba. I mean, I can’t even tell them about that. Neither of those morons is trustworthy, which means I’ll have to handle everything myself again."

"You could always move in with me. We wouldn't see each other as often, but we’d still hang out, and your burden would be lighter. You know my mom and sister know about that, and they’re happy to help."

Sakura offered a small smile. "Thanks for the offer, but you know how I feel about that."

"Have you seen that idiot Naruto?" A familiar voice cut into their conversation.

Sakura and Kiba looked up.

"Sasuke-kun?" Sakura asked, the suffix slipping out by habit from all the times he’d used it mockingly to annoy and argue with Ino.

"Naruto. Have you seen him?" Sasuke repeated brusquely.

"Naruto? Why are you...?" Sakura was smart, so he sighed. "Has that idiot caused trouble again?" he asked, curious.

"When is he not causing trouble?" Kiba scoffed.

Sakura burst out laughing.

"Ugh. He was raised wrong." He shared a look with Kiba, knowing his friend thought the same. Naruto could at least learn to hide better when he pulled his stunts—like they did.
"He’s never had parents, so no one ever taught him how to behave in certain situations."

If Naruto had had parents, maybe he would’ve learned how to lie low when misbehaving—or at the very least, how not to stand out if he wanted to cause trouble.

Sakura took another bite of his onigiri, as if he could chew his discomfort along with the rice. His gaze wandered toward the sky, distracted. Sasuke still stood in front of them, arms crossed, wearing that neutral expression that always seemed one breath away from disdain.

"That idiot doesn’t think before acting," Sakura said finally. "He’s always yelling, making noise, provoking everyone. It’s like he needs constant attention just to remember he exists." He tilted his head slightly, as if reconsidering his own words. "He doesn’t know how to be quiet. Or how to be alone."

Kiba shot him a warning look, but Sakura didn’t notice.

"He probably doesn’t even understand how things work. He just plays the clown so people will look at him, but he’s never really had to deal with being scolded for real—for causing trouble and acting out. Makes you wonder if he’s like that because he has no parents."

Sometimes Sakura wished he didn’t have a father... or a mother. Maybe then he could act like a normal boy and not have to hide behind masks and clothes that weren’t his. He knew his life would be very different if he didn’t have parents—or at the very least, if he had parents who were different.

"That... and the loneliness." Sasuke’s voice was razor-sharp, cutting through whatever mental haze had let Sakura speak so freely.

"What?"

"Getting scolded by your parents doesn’t even compare!"

"What the hell are you talking about now, Uchiha?" Sakura asked, confused, a rough edge to his voice.

Sasuke looked at him like it took effort to hold back. His dark eyes were deep as bottomless pits, and in that moment, cold as the frost Sakura had felt in the air that very morning. But his voice, when he spoke, was the opposite—it burned. Not in volume, but in what simmered beneath it.

"You say Naruto acts like that because he has no parents. Like it’s an excuse. Like you understand." His words were dry, sharp. "But you have no idea what it means to be alone. Truly alone."

Sakura fell silent. Something in his voice froze him. Beside him, even Kiba stiffened, lowering his gaze for a moment.

"Not having parents isn’t a game. It’s not an excuse. It’s a hole that follows you every day. It’s waking up with no one to scold you. Eating alone. Sleeping alone. Living with the knowledge that there’s no one else but you." He leaned in, as if the weight of his words needed to dig deeper. "So don’t you dare talk about it like you understand. You have no idea what it’s like to lose everything."

A silence followed. Dense. Unmovable.

The wind ruffled his hair and shirt, somehow making him look even more intimidating.

"You... You disgust me!" Sasuke spat.

Kiba frowned and stood up, stepping between them as if he instinctively felt the need to get in the way. "Back off, Uchiha." His voice wasn’t aggressive, but it wasn’t friendly either. Akamaru bared his teeth in warning. "You didn’t have to say it like that."

Sasuke looked at them both. Then, he simply turned his gaze away, as if it wasn’t worth arguing any further. He turned around and walked off without another word.

Sakura stared at his back until he disappeared among the trees. Then, he looked back down at the onigiri, but he wasn’t hungry anymore.

"Are you okay?" Kiba asked, sitting down beside him again. Akamaru came closer and placed a paw on his leg, as if he could feel it too.

Sakura didn’t respond right away. The wind rustled the leaves above them, and for a moment he thought about how that same wind sounded in his room, when he was alone. In that space full of imposed silences and rituals that didn’t belong to him.

Disgusting.

The word echoed in his mind, dragging him back to other times he’d heard it before—but from someone else: his mother. Sakura felt nauseous.

"Do you think he’s right?" he finally murmured, more to himself than to Kiba. "Do I disgust people?"

Kiba looked at him seriously. Not with pity. With that same look he always had when they were in trouble together, when Sakura said he couldn’t go on, but kept going anyway.

"No," he said quietly.

Sakura blinked, surprised by the answer, almost like he’d expected Kiba to say yes despite knowing his friend had never thought that about him. The lump in his throat didn’t loosen.

"But...?" he pushed, more out of need than courage. His fingers crushed the paper around the onigiri.

"No ‘buts’," Kiba said. "There are no buts in this. I mean, yeah, maybe you went too far with what you said about Naruto. He can be a dumbass, but so can you sometimes." Sakura winced. He knew Kiba was right about that. "But what Sasuke said? Total bullshit."

He crossed his arms, and Akamaru jumped into Sakura’s lap, curling up.

"I think Sasuke can’t see past his own crap," the Inuzuka continued. "Who does he think he is, saying something like that to you? He doesn’t know anything about you."

Sakura swallowed hard. He knew that. Of course he did. Kiba was the only one who knew that everything Sakura Haruno represented was a lie.

For a moment, neither of them said anything. The silence that followed was heavy, but not unbearable. Sakura thought about what he had said—those words he’d blurted out about Naruto—and Sasuke’s response, full of rage, yes, but also something that stung.

The wind blew again, lifting the pink strands of his hair. Sakura brushed them from his face with his fingers, pretending that simple motion gave him some control. Some strength.

The bell rang, pulling him from his thoughts.

It was time to meet their new Jōnin Sensei.

 

Chapter 3: Be a flower in times of abundance

Lunch passed more quickly than he would have liked.

The murmur of the other teams gathered with their respective sensei began to fill the halls. One by one, teammates stood up, some excited, others nervous.

Kiba was sprawled across the desk, Akamaru leaning against his chest as Sakura tied a red ribbon around his leg, with her own ninja emblem sewn on it.

"I'm just saying..." Kiba said, chewing a piece of beef jerky in his hand. "Maybe you should consider adding more meat to your diet."

Sakura scoffed. "And you want me to willingly risk gaining weight?" His mother would kill him before he gained two kilos.

Kiba snorted, visibly offended. "Fat is good! It keeps you warm in the winter."

Sakura raised an eyebrow. "I'm not a dog."

Kiba opened his mouth to say something witty, but Akamaru took the opportunity to lick his face and steal the jerky from his hand. Kiba snorted indignantly. Sakura laughed, covering his mouth with her hand like a lady would before retying Akamaru's ribbon in a tight, secure knot.

"It won't fall off, will it?" the boy asked, craning his neck to look at the bow.

"Not if you stop him from fighting cats for the rest of the week."

Kiba grunted a little, as if he already knew that was impossible.

Sakura smiled, but she felt a strange feeling in her chest, like something wedged between her ribs, pulling her tightly to a place she didn't want to go. She wanted this moment to last longer, for Kiba to stay there forever, because she feared that distance would take her only friend away from her.

Her and Kiba's teams were the only ones left, which only increased Sakura's anxiety.

"Team 8?" a beautiful woman asked at the door. "I'm your jōnin sensei, Kurenai Yūhi. Ready to go?" Sakura sighed. Kiba let out an exaggerated groan as he stood up to leave, but before taking a step, he turned to Sakura and extended his hand.

Sakura smiled, shaking his hand and beginning their usual goodbye game.

"Try not to get into trouble, doggie," Sakura told him. "My brain won't be there to rescue you."

"Hey," Kiba snorted, amused. "Not that I'd let you be the brain forever. See you, bubblegum head."

Sakura gave a low, forced laugh, and Akamaru groaned as if he felt the farewell too.

He felt awkward once he was alone with Naruto and Sasuke. The minutes dragged on, long and boring, and Naruto kept jumping around, looking for his new sensei.

“Sit down, idiot!” Sakura was uncomfortable and therefore irritated.

“I don’t want to! How come our teacher’s the only one who’s late? All the other groups have already met their new teachers and gone on adventures, and Iruka-sensei’s gone too!”

“So what?” Sakura huffed moodily. He looked up when he heard a noise and saw Naruto standing on a stool at the door, placing a chalkboard eraser between the sliding door and the wall. Narrowing his eyes at him, he asked, “What are you doing?”

“This is what he gets for being late!” Naruto declared as he jumped down from the stool.

“Our teacher’s an elite jōnin. Do you really think he’d fall for that?” Sasuke’s bored eyes studied the childish prank.

“Uchiha’s right.” Sakura’s expression looked like he’d just swallowed a lemon when he said it. “The sensei wouldn’t fall for—”

A hand slid the door open, cutting him off.

Sakura blinked at the man with spiky silver hair swept to one side, a mask covering the lower half of his face, and a headband covering one eye, standing in the doorway. He froze in surprise as the eraser fell right onto his head.

“You totally fell for it!” Naruto burst out laughing. Sasuke didn’t look impressed at all.

The man bent down to pick up the eraser. “Hmm… how to put this?” he murmured thoughtfully. “My first impression of this group: you’re all idiots.”

Sakura stifled a sigh of resignation. He was surrounded by idiots.

Minutes later, they were all up on the rooftop, and Sakura was already feeling hopeless about surviving this team.

“Alright, why don’t you introduce yourselves?” their new teacher drawled, leaning against the school’s roof railing.

“What do you want us to say?” Sakura asked without enthusiasm.

“Things you like, things you hate, dreams for the future, hobbies… stuff like that.”

“Sensei, why don’t you go first and show us how it’s done!” Naruto pressed.

“Fine.” The man began speaking. “I’m Hatake Kakashi. Things I like and things I hate… I don’t feel like telling you. My dreams for the future… I’ve never really thought about it. As for my hobbies, I have lots of them.”

“Useless,” Sakura muttered. He hadn’t told them anything.

“Alright, you on the right. You first.”

“Alright! Believe it! I’m Uzumaki Naruto! I like cup ramen, and I love the ramen Iruka-sensei gets me from Ichiraku’s. But I hate the three minutes you have to wait after pouring the hot water into the cup. My hobby is eating different kinds of ramen and comparing them! And my dream is to become the best Hokage ever! Then the whole village will have to stop disrespecting me and start treating me like someone important!”

Kakashi still looked bored. “Alright. Next.”

“I’m Haruno Sakura,” the pink-haired boy said. “I like sweets and spending time with Kiba and Akamaru. And training at the Inuzuka clan grounds with Kiba and Akamaru.”

Sakura thought for a moment about the things he hated.

“I hate arrogant idiots, when my hair gets damaged, and I definitely hate wearing dresses—especially because they get ruined when I train and then I have to throw them away.” The last part slipped out without much thought, forgetting he was wearing a dress at that very moment. “My hobbies are studying things I’m interested in, gambling, and trying new desserts with Kiba and Akamaru.”

There was a pause.

"And your dream?" Kakashi encouraged him to continue.

"My dream is to die with honor," Sakura replied almost instantly.

Kakashi was a little taken aback. It wasn't the kind of response he expected from a girl her age. Judging by the way she talked about that boy, Kiba, he would have expected something more focused on him or something more superficial. Perhaps some kind of crush, or maybe the idea of being a powerful kunoichi. I expect anything, except for a twelve-year-old girl dreaming of an honorable death.

Kakashi watched Sakura for a moment longer before clearing his throat. His attention shifted to Sasuke. "The last one."

"My name is Uchiha Sasuke. I hate many things, and I don't like anything in particular. What I have isn't a dream, because I will make it come true. I will restore my clan... and destroy someone."

Sakura blinked, looking at Sasuke with obvious disgust. "You're a pervert," she said.

Was she planning to have children at such a young age? What a pervert Sasuke could be! Sakura couldn't understand why Ino liked that idiot so much.

Sasuke glared at her; Sakura glared back.

"Okay," Kakashi said, breaking the silence the pinkette hadn't noticed. "Everyone is unique and has their own ideas. Tomorrow we'll have our first mission."

Naruto shouted excitedly. "What kind of mission?"

"A survival exercise."

"Survival?" Naruto frowned. "Shouldn't we do real missions first? Like catching bandits or saving princesses or something!"

Kakashi shrugged, maintaining his lazy posture. "That comes later. If you survive tomorrow."

Sakura wasn't sure if he was joking or not, and the way he said it, she chose not to risk asking. "What kind of exercise?" he asked, lowering his arms from his knees to straighten up.

"A test that will decide if you have what it takes to remain a ninja."

Naruto froze. "But we already graduated!"

"Yes, but that doesn't matter to me." Kakashi took a small orange book out of his pocket and opened it, as if he'd suddenly forgotten they were there.
"Of the twenty-seven graduates who came here, only nine will be accepted as Genin. The other eighteen will be expelled and sent back to the academy. In other words, this is a pass-fail exam, and the probability of failing is at least sixty-six percent. So the real test is tomorrow."

"What?!" Naruto roared. "We worked so hard to get here! What was the point of that graduation exam, then?"

“Oh, that? To select candidates who could become Genin. Or not. That's right. I decide whether you pass or fail. Report to the designated training grounds at 5 a.m. And bring your ninja gear.” There was a brief pause. “And don't eat breakfast.”

“Why?” Sakura asked.

“You're going to throw up,” Kakashi replied.

Sakura frowned. Was their sensei going to starve him the way his mother did? Damn it. He was starting to hate the man.

Kakashi vanished in a puff of smoke. 

Naruto stared at the spot where he’d been, baffled. “What the hell was that?”

Sasuke shrugged.

Sakura pointed at them. “You’d better not screw this up tomorrow, or I’ll kill you.”

Naruto swallowed, and for once, didn’t answer with a joke. “Is… is he serious?” he murmured, glancing at Sasuke.

“It always looks like I’m joking, but I’m not,” Sakura replied, arms crossed. He looked at Sasuke. “I don’t like you at all.” His gaze shifted to Naruto. “I tolerate you more than Uchiha only because you’re occasionally a little funny.”

His eyes hardened.

“But I’ll make the effort to be a good teammate while we’re in this squad,” he told them. “So you’d better not ruin it tomorrow. I’m not failing this just because you two couldn’t be decent to each other. And if I fail because of you, I swear I’ll make your lives miserable, and I don’t care if that makes me look like a bitch.”

With that, Sakura turned and strode away in quick, sharp movements. He didn’t want to spend a second more than necessary with those idiots.

The rooftop door slammed shut behind him, and Sakura went down the stairs without looking back. His face was set, but his throat burned. That familiar heat crawled up his chest, the kind that came when holding back tears, or anger, or both.

He didn’t know why he’d said it like that. Why he’d gotten so… intense. Maybe because he actually cared—not just about tomorrow’s test, but about making sure this team, this chance, didn’t turn into another place where he had to hide who he was or apologize for existing. He’d had enough of that at home and everywhere else in the world. He wasn’t going to repeat it here.

He clenched his fists. He was going to become a ninja. A great shinobi. And then he would die with honor, to bring pride to his family and erase the disgrace his birth had brought upon them.

He would do it, even if it meant dragging Naruto and Sasuke in a broken cart all the way to the finish line.

.

.

.

“Mother! Father!” Sakura called as he kicked off his sandals. “I’m home!”

He moved through the house expecting to find the same routine as always, but there was a sepulchral silence inside. He frowned slightly and headed toward the kitchen, hungry, expecting to find his mother. But instead, he only found a note saying they’d had to leave urgently for the Land of Tea for an important business matter and would be back in two weeks.

A bright smile spread across his lips then, and with quick but careful movements he got rid of the dress, tossing it to the floor, left only in his short Lycra shorts as he pulled off that uncomfortable padded sports bra from his chest. Then he practically sprinted to rummage through the fridge to eat everything he could find.

His mother wasn’t there to keep him on a diet, and tomorrow he wouldn’t be able to have breakfast, so tonight he was going to be disgusting about it—he’d eat everything within reach until he was completely satisfied, all while reading one of his favorite romance novels.

Minutes later, Sakura was already chewing with his mouth full, legs crossed on the chair, holding the book open in one hand and a chicken drumstick in the other. The warm kitchen light spilled over his bare shoulders, revealing the faint scars from training with Kiba—scars that all of his mother’s expensive ointments had failed to erase.

The novel was ridiculous. A romance between a medic and a desert ninja who met on a diplomatic mission and ended up trapped in a sandstorm, where of course they had to share a blanket for “hypothermia.”

Sakura snorted mid-bite, chuckling to himself. “This guy doesn’t even know what a uterus is and he’s already promising kids. Just like that bastard Sasuke.”

The thought of Sasuke annoyed him, but he didn’t let it ruin his night. He only rolled his eyes in exasperation and kept reading. Sometimes he needed stories like that. Not because he believed in them, but because they felt distant, unreal, safe—like watching the world through a window without having to be part of it.

At some point in the night, somewhere between his third bag of chips and the second chapter where the desert ninja nearly died from a scorpion sting, Sakura realized he hadn’t felt this at peace in weeks. Without his mother breathing down his neck, without having to lower his voice or measure every step, he could walk through his home as himself. Not as he was supposed to be—just as he was.

He passed by the hallway mirror on his way to the bathroom and stopped.

He looked at himself.

Messy, long pink hair. Flat chest. A strong abdomen, lightly defined from countless hours running with Kiba and sparring against the boys of the Inuzuka clan. Without the dress, without the tight ribbon. His body, still childish for his age—perhaps too thin to be a ninja—but pliable enough to mold into whatever was expected of him.

His gaze lingered on his face. A small nose, rounded cheeks still padded with the baby fat that hadn’t gone away. Green eyes.

That was him.

Just him.

He didn’t smile. This wasn’t a happy scene. But he didn’t look away either. He only raised an eyebrow and murmured, so quietly:

“We survived another day.”

“We did.” That voice spoke again, answering him. A soft, feminine voice, slightly high-pitched but not in an irritating way.

Sakura didn’t know when he had started hearing it—only that it had always been there. A voice that matched his own in every moment of his life, now sounding like that of a twelve-year-old girl because he himself was twelve.

Inner’s voice was unlike any other he had ever heard. It wasn’t just any voice—it carried a particular cadence, a calm certainty in every word. As if she wasn’t learning life alongside him, but remembering it… or, at times, comparing it to something else.

Inner had always known things Sakura didn’t. She always seemed one step ahead. She was his best friend, yes—but also something harder to explain. Sometimes, when she spoke, Sakura had the strange feeling that she wasn’t just keeping him company, but guiding him toward something he had once been… or could have been.

She was his friend. His comfort. His silent instructor. She was the one who got angry for him, who shouted and cursed when Sakura couldn’t. She was the one who made sure to remind him who he was at every moment so he wouldn’t lose himself. And, though he had never told anyone, there were moments—like this one—when Sakura felt that if he had ever been someone else, Inner would know exactly who.

“Why don’t you dress however you want tomorrow?” Inner asked in her high-pitched, sweet little voice. “Wear that pretty outfit you secretly bought with Kiba!”

“Uh.” Sakura blinked. “Should I?” It hadn’t occurred to him.

“Of course!” Inner replied with that boundless energy that always seemed far too bright for the hour it was. “It’s your first day on a team! You should feel like you, right? Not just… dressed up as you.”

Sakura stayed quiet for a moment, thinking it over. “I guess no one’s going to stop me if I show up in actual pants.”

“Exactly.” Sakura could picture Inner nodding with her arms crossed, like she always did when she was sure she was right. “Just don’t forget to eat something before you leave tomorrow.”

“I can’t. Kakashi-sensei said we shouldn’t have breakfast.”

“Well,” Inner shrugged, “no one’s going to know you ate.”

“I’m not going to disobey,” Sakura warned her.

“Yeah, yeah… sure you aren’t,” Inner said, and though her voice was still childlike, there was something strange in it—like she was stifling a laugh. “Well, it’s your call. But don’t come crying when you start seeing blurry halfway through the morning.”

Sakura frowned. “How do you know that?”

“Oh, I’m just guessing. Inner voice instinct!” Inner sang. And then Sakura remembered it had already happened to him once before, so that was probably why she was saying it.

He narrowed his eyes at his reflection in the mirror, hearing Inner laugh. It was hard to be suspicious of a voice that sounded like it was eating imaginary ice cream while talking, but something told him Inner was planning something—and he only hoped she wouldn’t start shouting nonsense during training tomorrow to throw him off, like the last time she laughed like that.

Sakura sighed, fixing his hair before moving toward his room. “Anyway, I doubt tomorrow will be a big deal,” he told her with the arrogant confidence of a child who hadn’t lived enough yet. “It’s just a test, right? And I’m the second smartest guy in my class after Shikamaru, so I’ll definitely pass this training easily.”

“Pfff.” Inner snorted.

“What?”

“Nothing. Just… remember something, Sakura.” Inner began to speak. “A team is a team for a reason. It’s not a competition. If you win but the others lose, then you didn’t really win anything.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Sakura asked. But Inner didn’t answer.

The boy didn’t worry too much about it. Inner usually came and went as she pleased, preferring to stay hidden within the walls of his mind unless she found it necessary to come out.

He brushed his teeth, set the book down on the nightstand, and slipped under the covers, stretching his muscles with the lazy ease that only comes when you’re completely alone.

Everything ached, but in a good way—the kind of ache that meant he was alive.

And his last thought before falling asleep was how much he loved being alone.

 

Chapter 4: Pink in the mud and blood in the earth

Sakura woke up early.

He wasn’t happy about waking up early, but he had to for that first training session with his team. He glanced at the clock and cursed. It was four in the morning.

“I hate Kakashi,” he muttered, moving to his closet to change, rummaging through his clothes until he found what he needed. He dressed quickly, then ran to the bathroom to brush his teeth.

He let out a groan when he saw his hair was a complete mess. Damn it. He was sure that if he left it down, it would probably end up dirty and tangled. And Sakura hated having his hair ruined.

“Should I tie it up this time?” he murmured.

“That’s best,” Inner told him. “Although we could cut it.”

“No, thanks.” Sakura shut that thought down. “I like my hair long.”

He could see Inner shrugging in his mind. Sakura shrugged too and began combing his hair, not entirely sure what kind of bun would be best. He settled on a round bun, leaving a couple of loose strands framing his face to highlight his features and make him look more handsome. Then he tied his forehead protector around his neck.

He checked himself in the mirror one last time before leaving.

Dark gray, loose-cut pants down to the calf, bought specifically to ensure freedom of movement. Underneath, fitted black leggings covered his legs down to his feet, where sturdy-soled blue sandals completed the outfit, ready for any terrain. A loose-fitting burgundy sweatshirt with an open collar, hood, and sleeves to the elbow, made of a light, breathable fabric that allowed for easy movement. On his right thigh, a strapped holster carried mission essentials, with another secured at his hip.

Sakura looked at himself, satisfied. He looked handsome. The clothes were comfortable, nice, and masculine—but somehow he still managed to fake being a girl by wearing that uncomfortable bra underneath.

“Oh my god!” Inner squealed, grinning with excitement. “You’re the most handsome guy in the village!”

Sakura blinked at his reflection, the corners of his lips lifting into a pleased smile. “You think so?” he asked.

Inner nodded rapidly. “Look at that face! And those eyes! Kyaaa! I’m sure even Ino could fall for your beauty!”

Sakura’s cheeks took on a faint blush. “You’re right,” he agreed, strutting a little. “I’m a very handsome guy.”

A laugh escaped his mouth, his self-esteem feeling unusually high that morning. He jumped out the window and ran toward Kiba’s house. After all, he still had time for a quick visit to his best friend.

Sakura reached the Inuzuka compound before he knew it. The scent of damp earth, dogs, and freshly cut grass greeted him as always—familiar and warm—though now wrapped in the thick stillness of early morning. Most of the ninken were asleep, but a few awake and patrolling with their human partners merely sniffed in his direction before losing interest. The shinobi who spotted him reacted the same way: a wave, a nod, and then leaving him be.

He slipped along the shadows, avoiding a couple of furry bodies sprawled across porches, suppressing a mischievous laugh at the thought of what was about to happen. Reaching Kiba’s window was easy; climbing it silently, even easier.

With a fluid movement, he slid into the room. The place smelled like Kiba—a mix of dog, sweat, and that soap he swore was “for warriors” but Sakura suspected smelled like flowers.

Kiba was curled up, with Akamaru nestled against his stomach, both snoring as if the world didn’t exist. The dim morning light barely outlined their shapes, and Sakura crept forward without a sound until he crouched beside the bed and shook Kiba’s shoulder.

Kiba mumbled something unintelligible, barely turning and burying his face deeper into the pillow as if that could erase him from the world.

“Five more minutes…” he murmured in a voice rough from sleep.

Sakura rolled his eyes and shook him again, this time a little harder. “Kiba, wake up.”

A long groan was the only reply. Akamaru merely lifted his head, looked at Sakura, recognized him, and settled back down without a care.

“It’s important,” he whispered, leaning in closer with a smile that could only mean trouble.

Half-asleep, Kiba grumbled, “If it’s not an invasion or a fire, it can wait.”

Sakura sighed, gently lifting Akamaru off the bed and setting him down somewhere more comfortable. She looked at Kiba. “Don’t say I don’t wake you up nicely,” she warned—before literally kicking him out of bed.

Kiba cursed, and the next thing Sakura knew, there was a blur of white and then Kiba trying to hit him back like some wild puppy that had just been poked one too many times.

Of course, Sakura fought back, and soon enough they were rolling around on the floor in a childish scuffle, trying to land blows on each other.

“What the hell, Sakura?!” Kiba growled, hair a mess, eyes narrowed as he tried to catch his friend. “It’s still nighttime!”

“Early morning,” Sakura corrected, dodging another grab and letting out an amused laugh. “It’s almost five a.m.”

Kiba gave him a look like he was deciding whether it was worth killing him or just going back to sleep. Eventually, he let out a tired grunt and flopped back onto the carpet.

“This better be important… because if it’s not, I swear I’m burying your corpse in the backyard.”

“It is.” Sakura grinned from ear to ear and, with all the theatrics possible, stepped back so Kiba could get a good look.

The burgundy hoodie, the gray pants, the black leggings… all perfectly matched, just like they’d planned that afternoon they’d snuck off to the market and spent hours picking out the “perfect training outfit.”

Kiba blinked a few times, still half-asleep, until his gaze finally focused. His eyes opened a little wider.

“Is that…?”

“Yup.” Sakura spun around with a proud little smirk. “First time I’m wearing it.”

For a moment, Kiba seemed fully awake. He sat up, resting his elbows on his knees, studying him with the seriousness of someone assessing something that actually mattered. Then he slowly nodded.

“Looks good on you.” He paused, then his mouth curved into a sly grin. “Really good, actually. You look… like you.”

Something in Sakura’s chest tightened, but he didn’t say anything—just tilted his head with a small smile. “Thanks.”

Kiba stepped closer, circling Sakura to get a better look, stopping in front of him. One brow arched when he noticed the slight, soft curve to his chest.

“You know, I’ve always wondered…” he started. “How do you make your chest look like that?”

“I use a special bra.” Sakura shrugged. “It’s a sports bra, but modified by a shinobi tailor. Mom had it made for me in secret. I’ve got, like, three or four of them.”

“Creepy.”

Sakura agreed with Kiba’s choice of words. “Anyway, today’s my first training day with the team. And since my parents aren’t around, I wanted to dress like myself. I thought it’d be cool if you were the first person to see it.”

“Cool,” Kiba said with a smile. “You look awesome. You still kind of look like a girl, but the outfit’s great.” The Inuzuka yawned. “Now can I go back to bed? I don’t have to meet my team until 8 a.m.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Sakura said. “By the way, you should take a bath. You stink.”

“Get out of my room before I bite you,” Kiba threatened.

And Sakura obeyed, darting out the window with a laugh full of mischief.

 

.

.

.

The morning air was cold, carrying that damp scent that promised rain later in the day. Sakura leapt across the rooftops, leaving the Inuzuka compound behind, feeling the adrenaline slowly replace the sleep still clinging to his eyelids.

By the time Sakura reached the designated training field, Sasuke was already there.

“You’re late,” Sasuke accused.

“So what?” Sakura replied irritably, crossing his arms as he looked at the Uchiha. “Naruto’s not even here. And Kakashi-sensei hasn’t shown up yet either.”

Stupid Uchiha, Sakura thought. He didn’t even bother saying good morning.

“Morning, Sakura-chan!” Naruto greeted cheerfully as he came running up to them. “Hey, bastard!” he added for Sasuke.

“Good morning, Naruto,” Sakura greeted with a polite smile.

Sasuke frowned at them. “Why are you two always late?” It was more of a demand than a question, and Sakura thought he might punch Sasuke’s face any moment if he kept that attitude.

“Overslept,” Naruto shrugged.

“What’s it to you?” Sakura said at the same time as Naruto—though with more bite in his tone.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes.

Sakura glared back. Naruto glanced between them, sensing a fight coming, and decided to speak up.

“By the way, Sakura-chan, you look really pretty today, dattebayo!” He turned to give Sakura a full once-over, clearly appreciating the new outfit. “I’ve never seen you wear that before!”

Sakura strutted a little. “It’s new training gear,” he said proudly.

“Well, it looks great, dattebayo!” Naruto grinned from ear to ear.

Sasuke scoffed and looked away. “Doesn’t matter what you wear when you’re training.”

“Oh, right—because you’re the epitome of fashion,” Sakura shot back with sarcasm, eyeing Sasuke’s dark shirt and shorts. “I’d bet you have six identical sets of those.”

“Four,” he replied seriously, as if the question had been genuine.

Naruto burst out laughing, loud enough to echo through the clearing. “Ha! So you do repeat outfits.”

“You’ve got no right to talk when you never take yours off,” Sasuke pointed out.

Naruto, of course, remained unfazed and shrugged.

“You two are hopeless when it comes to fashion,” Sakura scoffed, shaking his head. “You should at least learn how to dress properly.”

Silence fell for a moment, broken only by the murmur of the nearby stream and the rustle of branches as a crow flew overhead. Sakura glanced up at the cloudy sky, wondering how long it would take Kakashi to arrive.

Five minutes later, Naruto was already pacing around the clearing like a restless dog.

“Tch! Where is that guy? He said we’d meet here at dawn!”

“Maybe he’s testing us,” Sasuke said without looking away from the water, as if speaking more to himself than to them.

“What kind of test is that?” Naruto scowled. “I came here to fight, not to wait!”

Sakura sat down on the fallen log. “We could warm up a little while we wait.”

“No,” Sasuke said flatly. “It’ll wear us out before training.”

Sakura sighed.

Time crawled by. Naruto ended up lying in the grass staring at the clouds, Sasuke was sharpening a kunai against a stone, and Sakura was drawing shapes in the dirt with a twig. None of them said it aloud, but they were all starting to suspect Kakashi would be late.

“How long have we been waiting?” Naruto asked, still watching the sky.

“Twenty minutes,” Sakura replied.

Naruto let out a dramatic sigh. “It’s gonna be a long day…”

And it was. Five whole hours passed before Kakashi showed up. Sakura had even managed to nap next to Naruto for a full two hours. And he was pretty sure Sasuke had sneaked in about twenty minutes of sleep too, thinking nobody was watching.

“Good morning, everyone. Ready for your first day?” Kakashi appeared before them, smiling.

“Hey! You’re late!” Naruto and Sakura shouted in unison, pointing at him accusatorily. Sasuke looked annoyed at their sensei too, glaring at him.

“Well, a black cat crossed my path, so I had to take the longer way.”

“What kind of bullshit excuse is that?!” Sakura yelled. “Hey! Let me go!” she complained.

“Hey, hey, shouldn’t you be more respectful to your sensei, Sakura-chan?” Kakashi scolded, pinching her cheeks.

Sakura swallowed an insult, rubbing her cheeks in relief when Kakashi let go.

“Well, let’s get started,” Kakashi said calmly, distracting them from their anger. He placed an alarm clock on a stump. “Alright, it’s set for noon. Your task is simple. Remove these two bells before noon. Those who fail won’t get lunch. You’ll be tied to that tree stump over there while I eat in front of you.”

“That’s why he wanted us to skip breakfast,” Sakura muttered. “What a bastard.” There was a pause. “Wait a minute…”

Why were there only two bells if there were three genin? Sakura felt something was very wrong.

“Kakashi-sensei, why are there only two bells?” he asked.

“So someone ends up tied to the stump without eating,” the man said, smiling beneath his mask. “That person will be disqualified for failing the mission and sent back to the academy. Could be one of you—or all three. You can use your shuriken. But you won’t take the bells unless you attack me with intent to kill.”

“Are you sure you want to do that? You couldn’t even dodge a chalk eraser!” Naruto shouted arrogantly.

“In this world, those who aren’t skilled tend to complain more. Well, better ignore the loser…”

Naruto growled. Sakura couldn’t blame him. It was one thing for Sasuke, a peer, to call him a loser, and quite another to hear it from an adult who was supposed to be their mentor.

“Start when I give the ‘ready to go’ signal.”

Apparently, the “loser” comment stung Naruto more than Sakura had expected. He pulled out a kunai and charged at their sensei immediately. Sakura didn’t even see what happened.

Faster than he could process, Kakashi grabbed Naruto by the hair, pressing the blond’s kunai against the back of his neck. “Don’t rush. I haven’t said ‘go’ yet.” He released Naruto, who staggered back. “Well, alright. At least you attacked me with intent to kill… how should I put this? I’m starting to like you all. Okay. Ready? Go!”

Immediately, all three jumped to hide. Well, except one.

“All right! Let’s face off fair and square!”

Sakura shook his head. Poor idiot. He was going to be the sensei’s punching bag.

“Oh, yeah? Compared to the other two, you’re a little weird,” Kakashi said.

“The only weird thing here is your hairdo!” Naruto shouted, attacking again.

“Okay. Shinobi combat skill number one: Taijutsu,” Kakashi said, reaching into his weapon pouch. But what he pulled out wasn’t a weapon. It was a little orange book: Icha Icha Paradise.

Sakura gasped in surprise. He knew that book! Of course, he'd never read it. But he'd secretly heard some adults from the Inuzuka clan and Sakura's own clan talking about it with Kiba, so they were both curious, but they'd never been able to pick up one of those books to find out why the adults liked it so much.

If he played his cards right, Kakashi would definitely let him read some. Although Sakura would have to work hard to get it first; he might have to gain the sensei's trust. Hmm. He could pretend to be a cute, obedient girl to gain his sensei's trust and be able to read that book. Maybe if he was a good student like he had been at the academy, then he could get the things he wanted with this new sensei of his.

“What? What’s wrong with the book?”

“Well, I’m curious about what happens next. Don’t worry. With you guys as opponents, I don’t care if I read or not.”

That only made Naruto even angrier. He attacked again, trying to punch and kick the Jonin, but a hand constantly blocked him. The blond tried to strike again, but his fist only hit empty air.

“You shouldn’t let your enemy get that close so easily.”

Sakura recognized the position of Kakashi’s hand. It was a ninjutsu sign—one that could easily kill Naruto! It wasn’t wise to reveal his position, but his mouth moved before he could stop it.

“Naruto! Get out of there, quick!”

“Too late! Leaf Village’s Secret Ultimate Taijutsu! Thousand Years of Death!” Kakashi delivered a quick, sharp blow to Naruto’s backside, who immediately flew through the air, howling, and crashed into the river.

Sakura winced in pain. That wasn’t ninjutsu, but it definitely hurt.

Naruto crawled out of the water looking pitiful.

“Come on, you won’t get to eat lunch if the bell doesn’t ring before noon.”

“I know that!”

“You don’t have much energy for someone who claims to surpass the Hokage.” Kakashi said indifferently. Naruto’s stomach chose that moment to roar loudly.

“Damn it! Damn it! Even if I’m hungry, I can fight!”

His words briefly made Sakura pay attention to his own empty stomach, but he didn’t dwell on it and saved those thoughts for when it was his turn to fight Kakashi. He was going to unleash all his hunger-driven anger and frustration on the man.

“Damn it! Hungry or not, I will become a ninja no matter what!” Naruto proclaimed loudly as several Narutos suddenly jumped out of the water. “Now, my favorite! Shadow Clone Jutsu!”

Sakura frowned. Since when did Naruto have a jutsu like that? Damn it. That wasn’t right. If Naruto had that jutsu and Sasuke also had some good ones, that meant Sakura would end up as the weakest one on the team—and he refused to be the weakest.

He was going to have to train harder, find new techniques, and ask Kiba’s mom if she could teach him at least one cool jutsu to keep up with his teammates. He knew she wouldn’t refuse because she adored Sakura. Besides, Sakura had been training with Kiba for years, so he would probably learn something new since his friend never missed a chance to teach him all his techniques.

Suddenly, Sakura realized Kakashi was nowhere to be seen. Damn it, where had he gone? He quickly scanned the area, using the enhanced scent technique the Inuzuka had taught him during training to try to catch the man’s aroma, but it was difficult since he didn’t really know his sensei’s smell.

He moved through the wilderness, running alert. He almost let out a yell of surprise when he nearly bumped right into the Jonin. Sakura quickly crouched behind a bush, sighing with relief when he saw Kakashi hadn’t noticed him.

He concentrated chakra in his nose to sharpen his sense of smell and sniffed gently. Kakashi smelled like a mix of dogs, books, and—

“Sakura. Behind you.”

Sakura jumped the moment he heard Kakashi’s voice behind him, throwing a punch and moving away as fast as he could. Though his quick reflexes and seemingly keen sense of smell were something to consider, Kakashi didn’t stop for them just yet. Barely had he landed when he unleashed the genjutsu in a swirl of leaves.

“Huh?” He looked around but couldn’t find his sensei anywhere. “Where did he go? I swear he was right behind me! Where is he? What’s going on?”

“Sakura…” He spun around quickly and felt his heart stop. Kiba was standing in front of him, next to a badly injured Akamaru. Before he could even wonder what they were doing there, Kiba dropped to his knees and then collapsed to the ground.

Sakura’s world came to a halt.

“Sakura…” His mother’s voice echoed, appearing from the trees behind Kiba. She was wounded, weak. “This is your fault. We’re dying because of you.” She said. “You brought disgrace to our lives, why couldn’t you keep being a girl?”

Kiba looked at her with a mixture of disgust and pain. “Sakura, why…? I thought we were friends…”

Sakura barely registered his own scream before he blacked out.

Kakashi sighed. “Maybe I went a bit too far creating an illusion of her greatest fear… But it’s something she should recognize. Shinobi combat skill #2: Genjutsu. Sakura was easily drawn in.” He left to look for the other genin on his team.

Minutes later, Sakura woke up, drenched in cold sweat. He looked around, but there was no sign of his mother, which meant… 

“Genjutsu. I should’ve known. Kiba and my mother wouldn’t be able to come here since they have their own matters to attend to…”

He stood up and shook himself, looking for his teammates. Maybe he should listen to Inner and her ideas about teamwork for this fight. Surprisingly, it didn’t take long to find one of his companions. He dashed into a clearing and froze mid-step at the sight of Sasuke’s head poking out of the ground.

He stared at him, paralyzed for a moment.

“He didn’t put me under another genjutsu, did he?” he said aloud, still looking at Sasuke. “Kai…” He tried to release the genjutsu uncertainly. Sasuke’s head remained right where it was. “Uh…”

“Sakura…” Sasuke sounded a little surprised to see him.

He blinked a few times and tried to break the genjutsu again, but nothing changed.

Well.

Sasuke looked at him with a vacant stare.

“So it’s not a genjutsu,” Sakura murmured. “Hey, Sasuke. What happened?”

“What do you think happened?” Sasuke frowned at him.

The corners of Sakura’s lips lifted into a smile as amusement began to grow inside him and a laugh slipped from his mouth. Suddenly, he was laughing hard, clutching his stomach as he looked at Sasuke. He didn’t even bother hiding how much he enjoyed mocking him.

“If you’re not going to help, get lost.” Sasuke hissed, irritated and embarrassed.

Sakura opened his mouth to respond, but the sound of an alarm interrupted him. His body froze.

“No…” Sakura whispered.

The alarm sounded like it was piercing the air. It wasn’t loud, not really… but each chime stabbed straight into his chest.

He had failed the exam.

“Time’s up,” Kakashi announced with that calmness he seemed no right to wield. “Looks like you didn’t get the bells.”

Sakura felt the blood drain from his hands. He wanted to say something, anything, but his throat tightened shut. All he could hear was his heart pounding—too fast, too loud.

“Their stomachs are growling,” Kakashi observed. “By the way, regarding this test, you won’t need to return to the academy.”

Naruto cheered loudly. Sakura couldn’t believe it; hope bloomed as the knot in his stomach loosened just a bit.

“You three… should stop being ninjas!”

Naruto was shouting, tied to a log, Sasuke frowned and tried to justify himself. The voices seemed distant, as if everything was coming through a thick layer of water.

No… he couldn’t have failed. He couldn’t go back to the academy. Not after everything he had done, after all he had hidden.

He couldn’t start over from scratch. He couldn’t go back to being ‘her’ for everyone again.

“Because you’re just a bunch of brats not qualified to be ninjas.” He looked at Kakashi, terrified. Anxiety rose in his chest like a tide, pushing the air out of his lungs.

He felt a tingling at the tips of his fingers.

He didn’t know if he was cold or hot. All he knew was that he was shaking.

He couldn’t hear any more.

He fixed his gaze on the ground, focusing on the damp texture of the earth beneath his sandals.

“Breathe.” Inner urged him. “Come on, Sakura. Breathe. Breathe.”

But his breathing became choppy, as if each inhale was too short and every exhale got caught inside. The feeling that something bad was about to happen soaked everything.

Naruto said something—he didn’t catch what—and Sasuke snapped back with a sharp comment. Kakashi… Kakashi kept talking as if he couldn’t see what was happening right in front of him.

Sakura clenched his fists until his nails hurt. He had to stay standing. He had to.

“Damn it…”

The knot in his stomach tightened painfully.

Sasuke couldn’t take it anymore; he turned on Kakashi in a blind rage, but the Jonin was too fast for him, and in the blink of an eye, Sasuke was flat on his stomach, Kakashi twisting one of his hands behind his back while stepping on his head.

“Like I said. You’re a bunch of brats. Kids, do you think being a ninja is easy? Why do you think this exercise is done in teams?”

“W-what do you mean?” Naruto asked, confused.

“It’s like you don’t know the answer to this test. Why do you think they put you in squads of three?”

“So what if we’re in a squad of three?” Naruto asked.

“Teamwork!”

“Wait… you wanted us to work together?” Sakura asked, surprised. Inner’s words now ringing loud in his mind.

“Maybe you could’ve gotten the bells if you’d coordinated and attacked together.”

“If you wanted us to work as a team, then why are there only two bells?” Sakura asked. “If all three of us were desperate to get the bells, and one of us had to be held back, that wouldn’t build teamwork—it would cause internal conflict!”

“Exactly.” Kakashi agreed. “This is a test designed precisely to put you against each other. It’s a situation where personal interests don’t matter. The goal was to select those who prioritize teamwork. But, idiots…” Kakashi took a deep breath. “Sakura!”

He straightened under Kakashi’s intense one-eyed glare.

“You spent the whole time running away and then laughing at your teammate. And even if you seemed to have the right skills, you didn’t even try to do anything. You were completely useless when it came to this.”

“Naruto! You just keep trying, no matter how many times you fail. You even got to the point of trying to steal another teammate’s lunch.” He shifted his sole gaze to Sasuke. “And you. You treated the other two like obstacles and acted on your own.” He looked up again. “Missions are carried out in squads. Of course, individual skills matter, but teamwork is even more important. Individual actions that disrupt teamwork put it at risk and lead to death… For example,” he pulled out a kunai and pressed it against Sasuke’s neck. “Sakura. Kill Naruto or Sasuke dies…”

“I…” Sakura wasn’t sure what to say.

“…that’s what would happen.” Kakashi said, withdrawing the kunai and finally releasing Sasuke. “You face two impossible choices and end up killed. Every mission is a life-threatening mission.” Kakashi stepped toward a stone engraved with hundreds of names. “Look here. These are all the ninjas the village calls heroes.”

“That! That! I like that! I’m gonna put my name there too!” Naruto bounced with excitement.

“But… these aren’t ordinary heroes.”

“What kind of heroes are they?” Naruto asked eagerly.

“They’re all dead.”

“Dead? Great! What does that mean?”

“It means dead in battle, Naruto. They all died on missions,” Sakura whispered. “My name will be there someday too.” He murmured. If his name was there, then his parents would be proud because he’d brought honor to the clan. He would erase the shame his birth had brought. His purpose would be fulfilled.

The blonde’s smile vanished immediately. Sasuke’s eyes tightened.

"Somehow, that didn’t seem like the best thing to say here." Inner warned him—and Sakura didn’t understand why. After all, wasn’t dying honorably a good thing?

Kakashi looked at his pink-haired student for a few seconds before continuing. “This is a memorial monument. It has the names of my friends engraved on it.” He looked at each of them. “I’ll give you one more chance! But this time the battle for the bells will be tougher. Those who accept the challenge may have lunch, but don’t give anything to Naruto. It’s a punishment for breaking the rules and trying to eat alone. If anyone lets him eat, they’ll be disqualified instantly. I make the rules. Understood?”

Sakura thought there was a trap in all of this, but he wasn’t sure where.

He just hoped that trap wouldn’t make them fail again.

 

 

Chapter 5: Between Dogs, Dirt, and Kids Playing at Being Adults

Sakura couldn’t remember the last time he’d had a balanced, full meal that wasn’t made at Kiba’s house. Meals like that were rare at home, because his mother didn’t like him gaining weight. It would ruin his figure, and then someone might discover his secret—which would mean Sakura could never bring honor to his family in the end.

He stirred his food with his chopsticks hesitantly as he chewed a piece of vegetable. The loud growl of Naruto’s stomach both irritated him and made him feel guilty. He knew what it was like to be hungry while people ate right in front of you—he’d lived it many times at home, forced to eat half-portions to avoid gaining weight while his parents had full meals beside him.

“I don’t mind not having lunch!” Naruto exclaimed. “I can go days without eating! Even weeks, dattebayo!” It might have been more believable if his declaration hadn’t been interrupted by yet another loud rumble. “…Uh...”

“You should give him half your food,” Inner said with pity. “We both know you won’t finish it anyway, and it’d just go to waste.”

“I guess you’re right…” Sakura answered inwardly. “But I shouldn’t disobey sensei. I don’t want to fail.”

“Here.” Sasuke’s voice cut in.

Sakura looked at him. “Hey! You shouldn’t do that. Kakashi-sensei said—”

“He’s not here.” Sasuke interrupted. “We need to get the bells as a team, and if Naruto’s starving, it’ll only drag us down.”

Sakura hesitated. Sasuke did have a point.

He sighed. “Fine…” he muttered, extending his lunch toward Naruto.

The blond looked at him in shock. “Sakura-chan…”

Sakura gave him a small smile. “Kakashi-sensei said this time it’ll be harder. You’ll need your strength.” He let out a sigh. “Besides, I’m on a diet. I don’t eat as much as Sasuke, so don’t worry—just eat.”

“Sakura-chan,” Naruto said hoarsely, eyes misty. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me! Hurry and eat before sensei comes back!”

“It’s just…” Naruto flexed his arm against the rope. “I can’t eat like this. You’ll have to feed me.”

“…What?” A vein twitched at Sakura’s temple.

“Hurry up,” Sasuke warned. “Sensei could be back any second.”

Damn it.

“Just this once,” Sakura growled, scooping some rice with his chopsticks and holding it up to Naruto’s mouth. “And don’t you dare say a word to anyone.” Kiba would never let him live this down if he found out.

Naruto grinned like he’d just won the lottery. “A one-time thing, got it,” he said, taking a bite. Sakura stared at him oddly. Just how hungry was the idiot, to look that happy about being hand-fed?

Suddenly, a cloud of dust and dirt burst in front of them.

“You three!” Kakashi roared. “You broke the rules, so you know what comes next!” His hands blurred through signs, summoning dark storm clouds overhead, and Sakura couldn’t help but wonder how the hell he even did that. “Any last words?” he asked coldly over the howl of the wind.

“But… but… but! But you said, sensei! Sakura-chan and—”

“We’re a three-man squad, right?” Sasuke cut in.

“That’s right!” Sakura declared. “The three of us are one! So—”

“That’s right! That’s right! That’s right! Dattebayo!” Naruto emphasized.

“The three of you are one, huh?” Kakashi looked them over—each one standing defiant, ready to fight for their right to be a team. Then he closed his visible eye in a smile. “You pass.”

“…What?” They all froze, confused, not sure if they should lower their guard.

“You pass.”

“What do you mean? Why?” Sakura asked uncertainly, as if he didn’t quite trust what he’d heard. Above them, the storm clouds vanished from the sky.

“You’re the first,” Kakashi said. “Up until now, you were just a bunch of fools following me around obediently. A ninja must see through deception. In the shinobi world, those who break the rules are scum… but those who abandon their friends are worse than scum.”

Relief slammed into Sakura. So that had been the trick all along, huh? Teamwork… because they were a team.

“Told you,” Inner mocked.

Sakura smiled sheepishly. He was probably going to have to listen to Inner more often now. She was never wrong, after all. On the bright side—he was finally a ninja!

“That’s it for this exercise! You all pass! Team 7’s first official mission begins tomorrow!” Kakashi said, giving them a thumbs-up.

Sakura beamed, bouncing a little on his feet. Finally—he was a ninja!

 

 

.

.

.

 

 

Their first official mission was walking dogs.

It wasn’t exactly what any of them had expected, but Sakura didn’t really mind. They were still genin, and it was pretty obvious they’d be assigned those kinds of missions while Kakashi slowly shaped them into real shinobi—and not just useless cannon fodder for the village.

Because, at the core, that’s what they were.

Genin.

The lowest rank in Konoha’s military food chain.

Genin weren’t soldiers; they were disposable apprentices, cheap bargaining chips for the villages. Twelve- and thirteen-year-old kids sent to run errands—or, when the time came, sent to die if that meant the higher-ups could measure an enemy’s strength without risking shinobi of actual worth.

Above them were the chūnin: shinobi capable of leading a squad and surviving on their own. Respected just enough to be listened to in a council room, but still far from the real decisions that steered the village. Then came the jōnin, the elite—men and women who had endured blood, failure, and loss and still lived to tell the tale. After them, the ANBU. And above all, the Hokage: the entire weight of the village on his shoulders, and the lives of everyone he swore to protect in his hands.

The system was efficient, but cruel. And Sakura was perfectly fine with that—because that’s how the world was supposed to be. Cruel.

So yes, today they were walking dogs.

“Good boy!” He praised the dog that reached up to his hip, scratching its ears affectionately. It wasn’t as big as the Inuzuka clan’s dogs, but it was certainly huge. And it was adorable.

“You have experience with dogs, Sakura?” Kakashi asked, glancing away from his book to look at his student.

The pink-haired boy nodded. “Yup,” he answered, absentmindedly stroking the fur of the dog at his side. “I spend a lot of time with Kiba in the Inuzuka clan grounds, so I’m used to being around all kinds of dogs. I know how to take care of them, what they like, what to do.”

“Mhm…” Kakashi hummed. “I see.”

“Hey! Get back here!” Naruto shouted, chasing after his dog—an enormous one he’d picked just to compete with Sasuke.

“Idiot,” Sasuke muttered, watching Naruto run after it.

Naruto dove headfirst, trying to catch the dog, but it easily leapt over a low fence and disappeared into the bushes.

“No, wait! Come back!”

Kakashi closed his book with a heavy sigh, watching the scene as though it were the most ordinary thing in the world. “And here I thought this would be a quiet first mission…”

Sakura grimaced but kept silent. He wasn’t about to get involved in that mess.

Sasuke scoffed, folding his arms as Naruto vanished behind the fence. “Pathetic,” he muttered.

“I heard that, bastard!” Naruto’s voice rang out from the bushes, followed by a loud growl from the dog and the sound of snapping branches. “You’ll see once I catch it!”

Sakura pressed a hand to his forehead. Between the dog and Naruto, she wasn’t sure which was harder to handle.

“You could help him, you know?” he said, glancing at Sasuke. He had the smallest of the three dogs, and Sakura suspected that was because Sasuke didn’t seem to like dogs much at all.

“He brought it on himself.”

Kakashi had already reopened his book, completely unfazed by the sight of one of his students in the middle of a canine chase. “This is part of the training, too,” he commented calmly. “Teamwork is tested even in… inglorious situations.”

“Like chasing a dog all over Konoha?” Sakura raised an eyebrow. That made no sense.

“Exactly.”

A bark echoed loudly, growing fainter with distance. A moment later, Naruto stumbled back into view, covered in leaves and sporting a scratch on his cheek.

“Sensei! That dog’s a demon! It almost bit me!”

Sasuke clicked his tongue. “Or maybe it just knows you’re an idiot.”

Naruto growled, but before he could lunge at Sasuke, the smaller, chubby dog at Sasuke’s side tangled its leash around Naruto’s legs, sending him crashing face-first into the dirt.

“Ow!” Naruto groaned, lifting his dirt-streaked face.

The dog, meanwhile, happily licked him.

Kakashi sighed. “Alright then, Sakura-chan, Sasuke. Seems like you’re the only ones with a natural aptitude for D-rank missions. Naruto, you could stand to learn from them.”

Naruto got to his feet, brushing himself off. “I’m good with dogs too!” he protested. “You’ll see, I’ll prove it!”

The big dog reappeared then, trotting calmly out of the same bush Naruto had vanished into, carrying a branch proudly in its mouth. Sakura greeted it with a smile, scratching behind its ears.

With a soft plop, the dog dropped the branch at Sakura’s feet.

“See, sensei? He obeyed me!” Naruto exclaimed, pointing at the animal as if it were proof of his triumph.

“Sure…” Sakura replied dryly, raising an eyebrow. “After ignoring you for half an hour and bringing back the branch on his own.”

“That doesn’t matter!” Naruto crossed his arms with a confident grin. “In the end he came back to me, didn’t he?”

Sasuke scoffed, looking away. “He went back to Sakura, idiot. Not you.”

“Tsk, damn bastard!”

Before Naruto could lunge, Kakashi lifted a hand without looking up from his book. “If you’re going to fight, do it after we return the dogs. Clients don’t like to get their pets back covered in mud.”

Sakura sighed and tightened his grip on his dog, who seemed far more docile with him than with any of the others. “This is going to take forever if we keep this up…” he muttered.

“Then let Sakura take them all,” Sasuke said naturally at Kakashi’s words, as if it were the most logical solution.

Sakura shot him an irritated look.

“Hey!” Naruto immediately protested on Sakura’s behalf. “That’s unfair!”

“What’s fair would be you not ruining every mission we take,” Sasuke replied coldly. “Besides, the dogs seem to get along better with Sakura than with any of us.”

Kakashi lifted a finger, as if something interesting had just occurred to him. “Could be a good leadership exercise: Sakura up front with the dogs, you two as support.”

Naruto’s eyes gleamed with determination. “Then I’ll be the support leader!”

“That doesn’t even exist,” Sakura muttered.

Barks filled the air as all three dogs yanked on their leashes at the same time, trying to chase a rabbit. Sakura wrestled with his, Sasuke held his ground with the small chubby one, and Naruto was dragged several meters away instantly, screaming.

“S-Sensei! This isn’t training, it’s torture!”

Kakashi followed them calmly, hands in his pockets, his book open again.

“Welcome to D-rank missions.”

Sakura thought, once again, that he was surrounded by idiots.

 

 

By the time they finally finished the mission, it was already getting dark and too late to take another one. He collected his pay, trying not to feel too discouraged. Not because of the money, but because he didn’t want to go home just yet.

Even though he liked the idea of being alone at home, when it came time to eat he still felt far too lonely. And he didn’t want to drop by Kiba’s place, because even though he knew his friend and his family wouldn’t mind having him there for dinner, Sakura always felt uncomfortable at the thought of being a bother.

Maybe he should just eat out somewhere. At least that way he could pretend he wasn’t alone, surrounded by the noise of people around him.

“Alright!” Naruto shouted. “To celebrate our first mission, we should have a team dinner at Ichiraku’s!”

“You really think that mission was worth celebrating, loser? It took ten times longer thanks to you.”

“Still, it was our first mission and we completed it. We should celebrate! Right, Kakashi-sensei?”

“Well… it might help strengthen the team…”

“See! We’re going! I’ll drag you there if I have to, bastard! Right, Sakura-chan?”

“Uh, yeah, sure.” He nodded, suddenly feeling energized at the thought of eating with his new team. “But I want meat. Not ramen.”

“Whaaat?!” Naruto whined. “But—!”

Sakura turned to look at Kakashi. “Can we go for barbecue instead? Please? I know a really good place…”

He put on his best pleading eyes. He’d perfected them back in academy days, manipulating teachers into favors or getting out of scoldings whenever he got into trouble with Kiba. They usually worked well because, according to Ino once, Sakura had “that kind of face” that made people never doubt his innocence.

“Please, sensei?”

Kakashi looked at him for a few seconds; his gaze softened, and he placed a hand on Sakura’s head, smiling faintly under the mask. “Well… I suppose barbecue this time won’t hurt anyone.”

“What?! That’s not fair!” Naruto immediately yelled, nearly bouncing on the spot. “I wanted ramen, sensei! I asked since this morning!”

Sasuke rolled his eyes, walking ahead with his hands in his pockets. “Stop whining, idiot. Barbecue’s fine.” He almost looked relieved not to be eating ramen.

“Shut up, bastard!” Naruto turned to Kakashi with pleading eyes. “Sensei, please, ramen!”

Kakashi flipped a page in his book calmly, as if he hadn’t heard a thing. “It’s settled. Barbecue it is.”

Sakura smiled to himself, trying not to show just how satisfied he was. He’d just found a weakness in Kakashi-sensei, and he wasn’t about to waste even a damn second before using it again.

“What?!” Naruto shouted. “Since when was it settled?! That’s not fair! Senseeii!” He was yelling so loud that several villagers turned to stare. “It’s not fair!”

“Shut up, idiot,” Sasuke cut in coldly.

“Damn bastard! Don’t stick your nose into this!”

Sakura walked happily toward the barbecue restaurant. Yakiniku Q. He’d gone there a few times with Kiba’s family, and some of his happiest memories were tied to that place.

He sat down next to Sasuke, while Naruto and Kakashi took their seats across the table. His eyes scanned the menu with precision, already noting the different cuts of meat he could try.

“It’s not fair…” Naruto muttered.

“Stop complaining, idiot,” Sasuke replied without looking up, flipping through the menu with disinterest. “If you want ramen that badly, go alone.”

“I’m not letting you guys celebrate without me!” Naruto straightened up with a frown, like he’d just won a decisive argument.

Sakura couldn’t help but chuckle under his breath. There was something oddly comforting about their constant bickering; the noise, the energy… he liked being around them more than he had expected.

“I want that one.” Sakura pointed at the cut of meat he wanted, showing Kakashi. “Spiced chicken. It’s my favorite.”

“I want that one!” Naruto jabbed at his choice. “Marinated pork—don’t know what it is, but I bet it’s delicious!”

Sakura blinked. Had Naruto never tried marinated pork before? Wait… what had that idiot been eating his whole life? Just ramen?

“Please don’t let it be just ramen,” Inner prayed to no one in particular, sounding so worried that Sakura almost asked Naruto about his diet right then and there. In the end, he decided not to. Probably better for his peace of mind.

All eyes turned to Sasuke. “The beef special,” the boy pointed out.

The three genin looked to Kakashi. He pretended not to notice. Sakura opened his mouth to say something, but the waiter appeared with a smile, cutting him off.

“We’ll order several cuts. Beef special, marinated pork, and spiced chicken,” Kakashi told the man. He looked at his genin. “Anything else to add?”

“Extra rice for me!” Naruto raised his hand like he was in class.

“I want an extra side of gomaae!” Sakura chimed in, lifting his hand the same way.

All eyes went to Sasuke again. The boy sighed like speaking physically pained him. “Nothing extra.”

“Add the non-alcoholic shinobi drink set,” Kakashi told the waiter.

As they waited for their food, the silence gradually filled with the warmth of the grill and the lively chatter from other tables. Sakura propped his chin on his hand, looking at the three of them with a trace of surprise. He hadn’t thought sharing a simple meal could make him feel so… not alone.

Naruto, meanwhile, was already slumped over the table, eyes shining as if his very life depended on how fast the food would arrive.

“Sensei, are you going to eat meat too?” Sakura asked, trying to imagine Kakashi without his mask.

Kakashi nodded without lifting his eyes from his book, humming softly. “Meh, Sakura-chan,” he said distractedly as the waiter set their order on the table. He began placing slices of meat on the grill, tucking his book away with his free hand. “Since when are you on a diet?”

Sakura, who had been staring at the meat just like Naruto, snapped his head toward Kakashi so quickly his neck almost hurt. His hand—about to grab some of his favorite vegetables—froze midair, chopsticks empty. “Why?” He narrowed his eyes at him.

Was Kakashi going to make him eat less too? Damn it.

“I was just thinking…” the man said, as though searching for the right words to tell his student. “I’ll be drafting a dietary plan that the three of you will need to follow—mainly focused on the nutrients and calories necessary for you to survive training. I wonder if your diet will interfere with that plan…”

Sakura tilted his head. “That depends on what the plan is,” he answered, swallowing the sharp retort he wanted to throw at the man. He felt anger rising in his chest, his fingers squeezing the chopsticks tightly as his eyes fixed on the meat sizzling on the grill.

He knew. Damn it, he knew. Most adults were the same, always monitoring what kind of food Sakura could eat and how much, never letting him enjoy a single damn sweet without an attack of criticism.

“Shannaro!” Inner shouted furiously, raising a fist. “That bastard… and here I thought we finally had a reliable adult besides Kiba’s mom! It’s not fair!”

Sakura chewed on some rice aggressively, shooting a glare at Kakashi before deciding he didn’t want to talk to him ever again. Out of pure spite, he snatched a few slices of meat Kakashi seemed to be eyeing before the man could take them.

Absentmindedly, he watched Naruto and Sasuke throw themselves into a fierce competition to see who could eat more. Sakura lowered his gaze to his own plate, silently hoping they’d be dismissed soon so he could go home and complain to Inner about how unfair Kakashi and the rest of the adults in his life were.

On the other hand, if he really wanted to get rid of the food restrictions he was dealing with now, maybe he should free himself from his team altogether, so he wouldn’t have to depend on any adult. And there was, of course, only one not-so-simple way to free himself from a genin team: rise to chunin almost immediately.

It would be complicated, especially since the chunin exams hadn’t even been scheduled yet, but Sakura knew that if he worked hard enough, he could probably pass them somehow. After all, he was smart and had solid combat skills. Maybe he didn’t shine in ninjutsu, but that hardly mattered if you knew how to wield your other strengths.

He sucked lightly on his chopsticks as he watched the meat cooking in front of him, silently thankful that the pair of idiots he called teammates weren’t touching his share of the grill.

The expectations for a shinobi of civilian birth—especially the child of merchants who weren’t even originally from Konoha—were painfully low. Less than five percent of first-generation shinobi managed to rise on their own merits, even if they gave their entire lives to it. To advance, cruel as it sounded, you needed connections. Ties. People of higher social standing willing to support you.

If he decided to push himself through the chunin exams, then afterward he would be expected to accept all the dirtiest missions the village had to offer—the ones clan heirs could easily avoid. Especially if you were a woman, as Sakura was supposed to be (never mind the fact that he was biologically a man).

He’d be sent on seduction missions, deep-cover operations that could take him away from the village for months or even years, forced to deal with unpleasant people… Though, in a way, that almost sounded preferable to spending his whole life trapped under restrictions in a place where he was never truly wanted for what he was.

Although that part, he reflected bitterly, was his own fault. If he had really been born a girl, maybe he wouldn’t have to suffer so much or feel so resentful about the life he was living.

“Sakura!”

Arms wrapped around him from behind, making him lean forward. A small wet nose started sniffing him before licking his cheek.

He blinked, staring at the two beings he loved most in the world right there. His eyes lit up. “Kiba!” he greeted, turning to hug his friend. Their cheeks rubbed together as if they hadn’t seen each other in years and not just since the morning before.

“You smell like strange dogs,” Kiba muttered, his nose picking up as much of Sakura’s scent as he could. “Gross.” Akamaru barked in agreement.

“Hey!” Naruto shouted indignantly, pointing at him. “Get your hands off my Sakura-chan! Sakura-chan, don’t let that mangy mutt hug you!”

Kiba turned to look at Naruto. “Ah, you guys are here too,” he said, hopping over the back of the seat to land beside Sakura. He happily accepted the piece of meat Sakura offered him.

“Kiba!” Kurenai scolded. “You mustn’t intrude on other teams’ tables.” Her gaze shifted to Kakashi. “Hello, Kakashi. Sorry for the interruption.”

Kakashi dismissed it with a wave of his hand. “Seems like your pup is pretty attached to mine,” he remarked instead, watching as Kiba immediately started chatting away with Sakura about their training.

“Quite attached, I’d say,” Kurenai admitted. “May I…?” She gestured toward the table.

“No problem,” Kakashi said, moving aside. Kurenai sat down next to Sasuke and Shino beside Naruto, leaving Hinata to sit next to Kiba and across from Sasuke.

“I haven’t heard anything but Sakura’s name from Kiba’s mouth these past few days,” Kurenai admitted. “Seems like you two have been pretty close since the academy, judging from the kind of things my student shares.”

“Mhm.” Kakashi hummed, his gaze sliding toward the pink-haired genin who looked far more animated than just a few minutes ago.

Kurenai’s eyes shifted to Sakura. “So, you’re Sakura, aren’t you? I remember you from the day I went to pick up my team at the academy.”

Sakura blinked, surprised the woman was speaking to him. “Uh, yeah,” he replied. “That’s me.” He pulled a piece of meat from the grill, smoothly dodging Kiba’s hand as it tried to snatch it away. “Haruno Sakura.” He flashed his most charming smile at the beautiful kunoichi. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

He hissed when Kiba elbowed him and jabbed him right back with the same force. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught Sasuke and Naruto turning pale at the pace of the meal, while Hinata looked horrified and embarrassed by the boys, who seemed about to throw up. He also noticed how red the girl’s face had turned as she stared at Naruto, and wondered if maybe she was sick or something—because there was no way someone’s face could get that red normally.

“Haruno? Then your family is from Iron, right?” Kurenai asked.

Sakura shrugged. “I don’t know?” He grabbed some vegetables and chewed thoughtfully. “I mean, my family doesn’t really come from any one place. It’s true that a big part of the clan lives in the Land of Iron, but honestly, they’re all nomads. They prefer migrating from place to place instead of settling down. I think I have cousins and relatives all across the nations, but I’m not sure. I don’t even know half of them.”

“Sakura’s parents travel for the same reason,” Kiba added, chomping on pieces of meat. “Right?”

Sakura nodded. “Yeah,” he said. “They were used to traveling, but when I was born they settled in Konoha with other clan members. They still wander around, though, and since I’m the only shinobi in the family, they don’t really get too involved with me unless it’s necessary.”

And what his parents considered necessary was controlling appearances after the disaster that had been Sakura’s birth. Sakura pouted at the memory, stuffing a piece of roast beef into his mouth. The salty taste made him feel a little better.

Sakura’s gaze shifted to Hinata. “Hey, Hyuga-san, why are you so red? You feeling okay?” he asked, nudging Kiba. “Move, Kiba,” he said to the boy, deciding it was better to step over him to make space between him and Hinata so he could sit next to the girl.

The girl looked at him, surprised. “I-I… uh… t-this…” she stammered.

Sakura put a hand to Hinata's forehead, just to make sure she didn't have a fever. "You're really red, you know? It's not normal. Have you thought about going to the doctor?"

Hinata’s face turned even redder, especially when she noticed Naruto staring at her too. “I-I… I mean, y-you see… I-I…” The girl fainted.

Sakura panicked. “Oh no! Hey, wake up!” he shouted, holding the girl in his arms while shooting a panicked look at Kiba, who shrugged just as nervously as she did. His gaze fell on Kurenai, who seemed resigned.

“She’ll be fine,” the woman told them. “She’s just very shy.”

Sakura thought that was a lame excuse. What person could be so shy that they fainted like that? In his mind, Inner mocked him. Maybe this was his karma for complaining so much about his teammates that day.

Chapter 6: Friends, Pack, and Family

It was four in the morning when Sakura woke up. A wet nose bumped against his face, accompanied by the rough warmth of a breath that wasn’t his own. He squinted, and the first thing he saw was Akamaru’s snout before the dog licked his face.

Sakura groaned, pushing him gently with one hand, and shifted his gaze to the disheveled silhouette of Kiba, half slouched over his bed, wearing that mischievous grin that always seemed to serve as a reminder that Inuzukas didn’t respect personal boundaries much once you became their friend.

“Wake up, sleepyhead,” he whispered, almost with a low growl in his voice, in a tone so cheerful that Sakura had to resist the urge to kick him off the bed. “Your birthday present is ready.”

Sakura barely had time to frown before Akamaru leaped onto his chest. The boy complained, still half-asleep. “It’s four in the morning…” he whined. “What the hell are you doing in my house?”

Kiba grinned from ear to ear, without a shred of guilt. Sakura knew this was partly payback for the other day when he had woken him at the same hour. “I’m here to rescue you from your boring life, what else?” he replied, giving him a slap on the cheek. The early morning smelled of wet earth and tree bark, as if Kiba had brought the entire forest with him, making Sakura smile faintly. “Get up, your present is ready.”

Sakura blinked, still incredulous, sitting up in bed with his messy pink hair falling across his face and shoulders. “My… present?”

Kiba nodded enthusiastically, eyes sparkling. “Yeah, idiot, your present. For your birthday. Come on, we have to go to my house before everyone else wakes up. If we’re late, someone else will probably steal it.”

Sakura looked at him, a mix of fatigue and anticipation, as if he were unsure whether to keep sleeping or let himself be carried along by his friend’s overflowing energy. “It’s ready…? What are you talking about?”

Kiba puffed out his chest proudly. “A puppy, dumbass. Of course, not just any puppy. One of ours! Eight months old, big paws, sharp teeth—you can already tell it’s going to be huge!” He leaned in closer, like sharing a secret. “It’ll be your partner.”

Sakura’s heart skipped a beat. It was too early to feel fully awake, but those words struck him deeply. A partner. Something of his own. Not a disguise, not a lie. Something that couldn’t be taken from him.

Akamaru let out a low bark from his legs, as if approving the idea. “Come on,” Kiba insisted, already standing and pulling the sheets, before moving to Sakura’s closet, grabbing the first clothes he saw and tossing them to him. “If you don’t move, I’ll carry you myself.”

Sakura let out a small laugh, the first of the day, as he allowed himself to be dragged out of bed. “Okay, okay,” he said, while taking off his pajamas. He quickly put on the uncomfortable sports bra, making sure it was snug, and then slipped into the crimson qipao-style dress, fitted to his torso with side slits that revealed the pair of black lycra shorts he hurriedly pulled on underneath.

He zipped up the diagonal closure that ran from his neck to his side, awkwardly breaking the symmetry of the outfit but giving it an ornamental touch that Sakura knew his mother adored.

Kiba frowned. “Hurry up, we don’t have all morning.”

“Go screw yourself,” Sakura replied, putting on his usual navy-blue sandals. He caught the comb Kiba threw him, quickly brushing his hair and feeling grateful it wasn’t a complete mess like usual, while tying the headband around his hair like a headband. “I’m ready.”

“Aren’t you going to brush your teeth?” Kiba asked.

“Weren’t you in a hurry?” Sakura shot back, but headed to the bathroom anyway. Not that he didn’t want to wash his face and teeth—he did—but he had planned to do it at Kiba’s house.

“Hurry up!”

Sakura threw an empty shampoo bottle at Kiba. The boy laughed, dodging it.

The path to the Inuzuka clan grounds was shrouded in the spring morning mist. Sakura didn’t complain: the cold on his skin, the scent of nature—it was all familiar, almost comforting. What he didn’t expect was the reverent silence awaiting them as they reached the heart of the territory, where several clan members formed a wide semicircle, chatting among themselves. In the center, a litter of dogs waited, each one different, each with the fierce gleam of Inuzuka blood in their eyes.

“Wait!” Kiba shouted, landing on the ground with Sakura by his side. “Don’t start yet! We’re here, Mom!”

Tsume Inuzuka smiled, revealing her fangs. Fuchsia-colored lips. Red eyeshadow around her eyes.

“Just in time, boys.” She crossed her arms over her chest, imposing as always, with that mix of fierceness and motherhood that made anyone straighten up without thinking. Her dark, piercing eyes fixed on Sakura.

“Hey! You’re here, Sakura-chan!” Hana, Kiba’s sister, ruffled his hair. “Kiba brought his girlfriend again, guys!”

There were a few laughs and whistles. Sakura and Kiba both made disgusted faces, as always when someone joked like that.

Tsume laughed before turning her gaze back to Sakura. “You know how this goes, kiddo,” she said, tilting her head slightly. Her tone was firm, as always, but carried a trace of indulgence. “The clan’s dogs aren’t just pets. We aren’t a clan that ‘assigns’ them like weapons. They choose just as much as you do. No connection, no bond. No bond, no pack.”

Kiba puffed out his chest as if he already knew the speech by heart, but Sakura nodded silently.

Sakura nodded firmly. “Yes,” he said to the woman.

“Today is not a gift,” Tsume clarified again. “If one of them accepts you, it will be because they recognize you as part of the pack. If not… you leave empty-handed. Do you understand, brat?”

The murmurs among the other Inuzuka quieted as the litter of puppies shifted restlessly. It wasn’t common for an outsider to have the chance to choose one of the puppies as a companion—but this was Sakura. The pup the clan leader’s son had practically adopted as a brother from the moment he saw it.

Sakura took a deep breath and stepped toward the playful puppies.

The Inuzuka weren’t like other clans. Sakura had understood that as a child when he first saw Kiba and Akamaru run as if they were a single body, a single spirit. They didn’t ‘train’ their dogs like weapons. They were more than ninjas, more than animals: half human, half wolf, and the line between the two wasn’t clear. They were companions, family. Pack.

Sakura noticed how everyone present, though some whispered among themselves, watched with curiosity. Unlike other clans, where a stranger could never touch one of those puppies or train freely with non-clan members, here the bond was built on instinct and choice. It didn’t matter that Sakura didn’t carry Inuzuka blood—because Kiba had chosen him.

He had chosen him as a companion to grow with, a brother, a friend—and that was enough for every clan member. That was why there were no objections, no doubt, not even judgmental looks, only acceptance and curiosity, as if they were seeing family rather than a mere stranger or intruder; the palpable acceptance was a reflection of the Inuzuka way, the understanding that some connections aren’t explained by words alone, but by gaze, breath, and silence.

Tsume watched him with a mix of curiosity and approval.

“The clan doesn’t accept just anyone,” she said firmly, her usual toughness softened by a maternal tone that made Sakura feel safe. “But what you choose with your own heart, that we do accept. Forced bonds don’t last. The pack only recognizes those who truly respect and feel.”

Sakura knew this. He had seen it. He had understood it. And Kiba had simply reinforced it once, explaining it to him. Within the clan, hierarchies were simple: the pack comes first. Blood and fangs mattered less than loyalty. It wasn’t about parents and children, brothers or cousins—it was about the pack. Survive together, die together, share every fragment of life.

Sakura saw it in their gestures: the low growls in their voices, the laughter with an animal edge, the bared teeth meant as greeting, not threat. The Inuzuka were shinobi, yes, but the Hidden Leaf Village seemed like a second skin over the true one: that of hunters, of beasts, of those who never forgot that strength didn’t come from temples or books, but from instincts, the pack, and loyalty.

Tsume stepped forward. The mist seemed to bend around her as if it recognized her as an alpha too, and Sakura thought at that moment that Tsume Inuzuka would always be the most impressive woman he would ever meet in his life.

“The bond is the only thing that holds us together,” the woman continued, her voice a mix of steel and damp earth. “Here, there is no blind obedience, no chains. The clan dogs are not weapons or tools. They are your equals. Your companions. Your other half.”

She raised a hand, and the murmurs stopped. Other children, younger than Sakura, stepped forward to choose their own puppies. And Sakura discovered with relief that he wasn’t the only one making a choice—though he was the only one who didn’t really belong there.

“If one of them accepts you, kids, it’s because they recognize something of themselves in you. The wildness. The freedom. That which cannot be tamed by parents, villages, or anyone in this world.”

Sakura swallowed. He felt the heavy gazes on him, expectant, judging, waiting. But what truly made him shiver weren’t human eyes—it was the others: the yellows, the browns, the reddish hues of the litter. There was a different kind of attention in them, a silent measurement, as if each puppy were deciding whether he was worthy.

Nerves filled him, intense and frightening, making him want to run away. What if they rejected him? What if none of them chose him?

For a moment, he thought it was unfair. That being accepted or rejected by an animal shouldn’t weigh this much. But then he remembered how Kiba always said “we,” not “I.” How he moved with Akamaru as if they had been born from the same mother. How the Inuzuka were never truly alone, even when they seemed to be.

He swallowed again and stepped closer to the puppies, trying not to feel intimidated by the mother despite her not even looking at him. The puppies were strong, even at their young age, with big paws, sharp snouts, and a wild instinct that seemed to overflow from their fur. Some jostled each other with low growls; others sniffed the air curiously. Most were even bigger than Akamaru, who was already three years old, though Akamaru was a special kind of dog that would take longer to fully grow, just like his parents.

Sakura felt a wave of nausea. His eyes scanned the puppies, who sniffed at him and then wandered to other spots that caught their attention.

He looked at Kiba, who smiled and gave him two thumbs up in approval. Sakura sighed before crouching down toward a group of three puppies with pouty faces. Of the seven puppies present, only three hadn’t been chosen yet, and he was losing hope of getting one for himself, even if Kiba had promised him he would.

His eyes roamed the puppies, and he smiled as two of them eagerly approached. “Hey, guys,” he greeted, playing with the first two and scratching behind their ears. His gaze shifted to one in particular, the last of the three, who seemed reluctant to come closer.

This one seemed different from the others. A little bigger, yet shy despite the size difference with its siblings. A jet-black puppy with a white patch on its chest, ears standing tall, and tail tense. It watched everything, seemingly waiting, not trying to leave its mother.

It was quite handsome.

Then their eyes met. Golden and fixed, and for a moment it was as if the little dog understood him. As if they had been cut from the same kunai. It was like looking in a mirror: alert, stubborn, wary, with that silent need to never give in, even if everyone else expected it.

Sakura noticed it immediately. The tug at his chest. The feeling of belonging. He felt as if he had stopped breathing. The games of the other two puppies became a distant murmur. The only thing real were those eyes, fierce and steady like his own, but a different color.

The puppy tilted its head slightly, as if testing a secret. And then, against everyone’s expectations, it took a step. And then another. With every movement, its gaze never left Sakura’s, as if it had chosen him before he even arrived.

Sakura held his breath as the puppy planted itself in front of him, silently begging to be his. The dog tilted its head, sniffed gently, and then, without hesitation, nudged its muzzle against his open hand. A strange warmth spread across his skin, as if something had anchored itself inside him.

“Hey, buddy,” Sakura greeted as the puppy sniffed him. The little tail began to wag. He let out a small laugh. “Ah! Hey!” he protested when the puppy nipped at his hand.

“I knew it!” Kiba shouted, and Sakura felt a weight crash onto his back, sending him sprawling to the ground with his face pressing into the dirt. “I told you you’d get one! I told you!”

“Get off me!” Sakura yelled, twisting as he tried to push Kiba away. Akamaru barked, and Sakura felt a wet nose on his cheek—but it wasn’t his best friend’s dog. It was his own, wagging its tail and starting to lick his face.

Sakura couldn’t help but laugh, still struggling with Kiba, who seemed even happier than he was at that moment. Two kids laughing and rolling on the ground in one of their typical tussles—this time not with a single dog, but with two.

“All right, you kids, that’s enough playing around.” Tsume said, tugging at the collar of her son’s jacket to make him stand up. Kiba complained, but he obeyed.

Sakura got to his feet, quickly scooping up the puppy in his arms and smiling at the woman.

Tsume looked at him with a proud smile; one remarkably similar to her son’s. “There you go, kiddo,” she said to Sakura. “What are you going to call her?”

Sakura hesitated, looking at the little dog. “Mhm,” he hummed. “How about ‘Kurogane’?”

“Kurogane?” Kiba asked.

Sakura nodded. “It’s made up of the kanji for ‘black’ and ‘steel’ or ‘iron,’” he explained. “Because she’s a big, sturdy dog even though she’s a puppy. She’s black, and she looks like she’s going to be tough and strong, so it’s a great name.”

He looked at his new companion with a cheerful smile.

“You’re going to be really strong, right?” he encouraged. “Big and cool, and you’ll bite all our enemies until they scream in pain.”

The puppy barked happily.

“Good name, brat.” Tsume complimented, amused. “Although Kurogane is a female.”

There was a pause.

“You’re… a girl?” Sakura repeated in disbelief, looking down at the puppy in his arms. She licked his chin as if confirming her identity.

Then Kiba’s laughter boomed through the place. He doubled over, pointing at him while Akamaru barked, caught up in the fun. “HAHAHAHA! This is perfect!” he shouted, unable to contain himself. “Sakura, the boy pretending to be a girl, ends up with a female dog that looks like a male! They’re perfect for each other!”

Sakura’s face immediately flushed, grateful that no one else from the Inuzuka clan was there to hear his best friend’s words. “Shut up, Kiba!” he tried to protest, while the puppy barked along with him. That only made Kiba laugh even harder, slapping the ground with an open palm.

Tsume shook her head, though her smile hinted she was holding back a laugh similar to her son’s. “Try not to cause any trouble,” she warned. “And don’t be late for your training.” With that, she left quickly, accompanied by her ninken.

“This is too good!” Kiba squealed, still catching his breath from laughing. “Look at him, all serious, planning strong, tough, manly names… and he gets a girl! Your Kurogane is a princess disguised as an ogre!”

“Who are you calling an ogre, idiot?!” Sakura growled, holding the puppy to his chest, taking offense personally. “Kurogane is a cute little pup! The only ugly one here is you!”

The puppy let out a small growl as if reaffirming her place, and Sakura couldn’t help but smile again, feeling that strange warmth in his chest anchoring him to her.

Kiba, still laughing, wiped a tear from the corner of his eye. “She’s perfect for you, idiot,” he said, ignoring his earlier words. “Seriously. Nobody else could end up with a female dog that looks like a male. That’s just your luck!”

“I told you to shut up!” Sakura yelled, putting the puppy down and then lunging at Kiba, annoyed.

The two genin wrestled again, but this time the new member didn’t hold back: Kurogane leaped at Kiba with a sharp bark, biting his leg. Akamaru joined the chaos to defend his own master as well.

“Shannaro!”

They spent the entire morning playing and running around like kids. It was the last peaceful morning Sakura would ever have in his life—and he didn’t even know it.

Notes:

This is the last chapter in which our boy Kiba will appear. He'll be gone for a while because, well, I want to focus on Sakura interacting with Team 7 and slowly becoming attached to them while they're on missions or training. Maybe Kiba will appear once or twice in the future before the chunin exams, but it'll be in passing or very little. You know, because he has his own team and all, and his own missions too.

On the other hand, I admit I like the idea of Sakura having a ninken as a partner. God knows he'll need someone to rely on when he's in a depressed/distrustful mood, especially on the wave mission. Also, I think it would be fun to see Kakashi dealing not only with three mischievous gremlins, but also with a mischievous puppy that's somehow worse. I'm sure Pakkun will enter the scene sooner or later because of that lol

Regarding Sakura's development, let's just say his growth is similar to her female counterpart in the manga/anime. That is to say, there will be obvious differences, but some other things will be similar or the same as what the female Sakura experienced because although this is a male and different version of Sakura, he is still Sakura and there are things I don't want to change.

Chapter 7: Training... and D-rank missions

Sakura ran as fast as he could, with Kurogane following close behind—now sporting a pretty pink ribbon tied around her neck like a collar—until he reached the training field where he was supposed to meet his team.

It hadn’t been his intention to be late, but he had accidentally gotten distracted while playing with Kiba and then picking ribbons to make Kurogane look pretty. Well… prettier than she already was.

When he arrived, he found Naruto and Sasuke practicing in the middle of the field: the blond was throwing kunai with exaggerated enthusiasm while the Uchiha blocked with a gesture as dry as it was annoyed. Kakashi, on the other hand, was reading his book, perched on one of the wooden posts.

The sound of hurried footsteps and Kurogane’s panting drew the attention of all three.

“Late again, Sakura!” Sasuke growled, turning his head with a frown.

Sakura frowned back at Sasuke because—when the hell had he ever been late to training before? Those words made no sense! Especially not considering this was their first official training session together.

“Huh? And that dog?” Naruto practically dropped the kunai and ran toward them, his eyes shining with excitement. “Whoa, she’s huge! And she’s got a ribbon!”

Kurogane barked once, wagging her tail as she stepped between Naruto and Sakura, watching him with a wary gleam in her eyes. Still catching his breath, Sakura smiled proudly and rested his hand on the pup’s back.

“Her name’s Kurogane,” he told them. “Isn’t she the prettiest ninken you’ve ever seen?” His voice turned syrupy as he knelt in front of his pup, scratching behind her ears. He laughed when Kurogane licked his face.

Sasuke snorted at the scene, turning away as if he had just wasted his time. Naruto, on the other hand, leaned so far toward Kurogane that he looked about ready to drop to all fours himself.

“Hey, hey! Can I pet her? Can I, Sakura-chan? C’mon, please!” Naruto stretched out his hands, eager, with that boundless childish energy that always seemed to burst out in every direction.

Kurogane gave a low growl, just a warning rumble in her throat, and Sakura quickly stood up to place a firm hand on the pup’s back.

“No, not yet. I just adopted her and she still needs time to get used to people,” he explained softly, almost apologetically on behalf of his canine partner. Then, with pride: “Kurogane knows who to trust.”

Naruto groaned loudly, crossing his arms. “Tch! Just like you, Sasuke, always with that grumpy face, dattebayo!”

“Stop comparing me to a dog,” Sasuke replied without looking at him, adjusting the kunai in his hand.

“Don’t compare Kurogane to that idiot, you moron!” Sakura shouted at Naruto, irritated.

From his post, Kakashi finally lifted his gaze from his book. With his single eye half-lidded, he took in the scene: Sakura kneeling beside an oversized but clearly still young pup, Naruto making a fuss, Sasuke already impatient.

“Well, looks like we’ve got a new member on the team,” he murmured in his lazy tone, making it unclear whether he was serious or joking. Then he stretched lazily and, with a light slap to close his book, added: “All right. Naruto, Sasuke, keep at it. I want to see how you handle the distance between attack and defense.”

Naruto protested immediately: “What?! But I want—!”

“Now, Naruto.” Kakashi’s voice didn’t change tone, but the command was clear. The blond grumbled, spun on his heel, and charged back at Sasuke, who was already waiting for him with a dry expression.

Only then did Kakashi lower his gaze toward Sakura, though he didn’t linger. “Catch your breath, you ran here,” he remarked, more like an observation than actual concern. A second later he reopened his book, his attention back on the boys’ spar.

Sakura stayed crouched beside Kurogane, stroking her back gently as he regained his breath. Kakashi-sensei would probably make him train hard soon, so if he was giving him a break, he’d take full advantage of it.

“Where’d you get that ninken, Sakura-chan?” Kakashi asked, without taking his eyes off his book.

“Kiba’s mom, Tsume-sama, gave her to me this morning,” Sakura replied brightly. “It’s my birthday present! Honestly, I didn’t think a pup would choose me, but Kurogane did. Isn’t that awesome? She’s such a strong, tough pup! Super cool!”

“Mm?” was all Kakashi answered, with that neutral hum that didn’t reveal whether he was interested or not.

But for Sakura, it was encouragement enough to keep talking, his hand sliding through Kurogane’s dark fur. “This morning I trained with Kiba, you know? After I adopted Kurogane, he showed me how to handle her. He was demonstrating how ninken coordinate with their partners, and then, out of nowhere, Kurogane came straight to me when Kiba attacked. It was amazing!”

Kakashi tilted his book just slightly, enough to show a raised eyebrow above the mask. “Hm. So that happened.”

“Exactly!” Sakura nodded enthusiastically, as if the fact his sensei was listening gave him even more energy. “And then I went with Kiba to the market because I wanted to buy something pretty for my beautiful girl, and guess what? There are a million different ribbons! We tried a red one, but it didn’t look right… then a blue one, but it looked like she was going to some weird party. The yellow one was cute, but we weren’t sure… and in the end, this pink one was perfect, don’t you think?”

Kurogane gave a soft bark, as if backing up the decision.

“Uh-huh,” Kakashi replied, flipping the page like the story was just background narration—yet without missing a single detail.

Encouraged, Sakura went on: “And Kurogane runs super fast! This morning we tried running in the plain behind the shop and I almost tripped because she was leaving me behind. And she’s got these huge fangs! Kiba says in a few months she’ll be ready for more serious training than what the Inuzuka gave her, but even now you can tell she’s got amazing combat instincts. Can you imagine? Me and Kurogane fighting together, like an unstoppable duo!”

Meanwhile, Naruto’s shouting carried from the center of the field: “Gyaaaah! Stop moving so much, teme!” followed by the metallic clash of kunai and Sasuke’s annoyed grunt.

“You’re going to run out of breath if you keep talking that fast,” Kakashi observed, in the most neutral tone imaginable—like he was just commenting on the weather. “Breathe.”

Sakura blinked, surprised, then laughed a little, scratching the back of his neck. A soft blush touched his cheeks. “Ah… well, it’s just that… I’m excited, sensei! Kurogane and I will definitely be an amazing duo… We’ll make any enemy fear us on missions!”

Kakashi tilted his head slightly, and though his eyes were back on his book, he seemed more than aware of his student’s enthusiasm. “Mm. That’s good.”

Kurogane barked again, loudly, as if confirming Kakashi’s words, which made Sakura laugh even more.

“See?! Even Kurogane agrees with me!”

Naruto, distracted by the bark, turned his head: “Hey, Sasuke! When Kurogane grows up, I’m gonna ask Sakura-chan to lend us her dog for training! Imagine how cool that would be—!”

A sharp punch from Sasuke shut him up immediately.

Kakashi sighed quietly, turning a page of his book.

Sakura settled down on the grass, still a little out of breath, and began petting Kurogane again while talking nonstop. He didn’t like the silence that had fallen, so he decided to keep speaking to his sensei.

“The best thing is how she follows me everywhere. If I crouch, she crouches! If I run, she runs. Even when I stop suddenly, she just looks at me like she’s waiting for the next order. It’s amazing! Like she understands me!”

Kurogane lifted her head proudly, as if confirming the exaggeration.

Kakashi flipped another page without flinching, but his ear was attentive.

“Oh, and she growls really loud when someone gets too close. At the market, she almost bit a guy who tried to pet her head without permission. Can you imagine? I’ve only known her since this morning and she already seems like she wants to protect me. Isn’t that incredible, sensei?”

“Hmm.” It was Kakashi’s only reply, short and in that indecipherable tone that never made clear whether he was paying attention or not.

But Sakura took it as encouragement to continue. “I’m thinking that if I train her well, we could do combination techniques. Like Kiba and Akamaru! I can already imagine it: I throw a kunai, and she lunges at the same time! Or maybe we could do a distraction maneuver. Wouldn’t that be awesome, Kakashi-sensei?”

Kakashi lifted his gaze for just a moment—long enough to glance sideways at him with that tilted eye that never revealed much. Sakura, excited, looked at him expectantly, as if waiting for approval.

“It’s possible,” he finally answered, with the calm of someone who didn’t want to crush the motivation, but also didn’t want to feed it too much, lest Sakura do something reckless—as he often seemed inclined to.

Naruto shouted in the background after being shoved by Sasuke, but Sakura hardly noticed. His eyes gleamed a little as he went on, almost as if trying to capture his teacher’s full attention:

“Oh, and did I tell you that Kurogane runs faster than she looks? If you see her, sensei, you’ll be surprised! This morning I almost tripped because I didn’t expect her to catch up so quickly. And she’s not just fast—she’s smart! I’m sure she can learn anything I teach her. Isn’t that right, pretty girl?”

The dog barked enthusiastically. Sakura laughed and hugged her around the neck, not noticing the way Kakashi watched him over the edge of his book for a second longer than usual.

Finally, the jōnin closed the volume with a soft snap of pages. “All right,” he said with no apparent emotion. “Naruto and Sasuke will continue their coordination drills. You…” he lazily pointed a finger at him, “I want you to do two hundred push-ups. Right here.”

“Eh?” Sakura looked at him in surprise, still kneeling beside Kurogane. “Why just me?”

Kakashi shrugged with a casualness that was almost offensive. “Everyone has their own pace. And you arrived later than I did. That’s your punishment.”

Sakura opened his mouth to protest, but upon seeing Kakashi’s single eye watching him calmly—that eye that allowed no argument, even if it looked lazy—he pressed his lips together, sighed, and dropped onto the grass face-down.

Kurogane lay down beside him, mimicking his posture and wagging her tail.

After a pause, Kakashi reopened his book. “Oh, and make sure you don’t stop until you finish. I want to see if you have the discipline to match all that energy.” The voice was calm, almost careless, but beneath it there was an edge Sakura couldn’t ignore.

“Yes, sensei!” he answered firmly, starting to count his push-ups while Kurogane encouraged him with short barks.

Kakashi didn’t say anything else, but as he turned the page, a tiny smile tugged beneath the mask.

 

 

.

.

.

.

 

 

Sakura sighed as he walked alongside his team toward the Hokage’s tower. His hands were clasped behind his back while Kurogane padded by his side, this time with a yellow ribbon tied around her neck.

It had been a full week spent getting to know each other and training. A week since Kakashi had made him train alone. At first, he thought it was because he had shown up late on the first day of training, and then again on the second day. But after that, he was never late again, and still, his sensei had him train by himself while Naruto and Sasuke sparred.

Well, at least he had Kurogane. And Sakura supposed he should have been happy with the training tasks Kakashi had given him to improve his battle work with her. It had been thoughtful of his sensei, really, to take the time to show him how to treat his puppy, what commands to give and what not to do. And it was even more generous that his sensei had taught him a couple of techniques he could use with Kurogane. But even so…

Honestly, Sakura wasn’t sure why his sensei still hadn’t made him train alongside Naruto and Sasuke.

He sighed again, louder than he meant to, and lowered his gaze to the dirt road. Kurogane walked calmly, as though nothing in the world could unsettle her, and Sakura envied that quiet steadiness.

Why…?

His hands tightened behind his back. The echoes of the past week slipped back into his mind: Naruto and Sasuke clashing, shouting, pushing their limits under Kakashi’s sharp supervision… while he received simple orders like, “practice with Kurogane,” “make sure to synchronize her movements,” “correct her jumping posture.”

Yes, he had learned useful things. Yes, Kakashi had been patient in teaching him how to guide his partner. It wasn’t that he was treated badly… but it wasn’t the same. Kakashi didn’t look at him with the same intensity he gave Naruto and Sasuke when they fought.

'Is it because I was late? Or because he saw me with Kurogane and thinks I’m not good for anything else?'

“Maybe he’s just prioritizing your training with Kurogane before putting you together with the rest of the team,” Inner tried to encourage him.

Sakura wanted to believe that. But… what if it wasn’t? What if it was simply…?

The thought stabbed his stomach like a thorn.

He tried to shake it off, raising his head to look at Kakashi, who was walking ahead, flipping through that damned book without a care. Naruto was talking loudly about how amazing their first mission would be, and Sasuke walked in silence, ignoring him. Everything seemed so normal, so easy for them.

Sakura swallowed hard.

Maybe his sensei thought he couldn’t keep up with his teammates… maybe he saw Sakura as someone easily distracted, someone who couldn’t focus, someone weak. Maybe he shouldn’t have been late those first two days.

Damn it. He’d ruined everything.

The thought made his lips press together tightly. He couldn’t fail. He couldn’t. Not when he carried the expectation of bringing honor to his family, of compensating for what he was, of proving he wasn’t a disgrace.

Almost without thinking, Sakura stroked Kurogane’s neck, seeking in her warmth the reassurance he couldn’t find in himself. The puppy lifted her head for a moment, brushing his hand with her ear, as if she could feel the tension her partner was trying to hide.

Sakura lowered his gaze again, watching his sandals sink into the dirt. The thought coiled in his chest: Maybe Kakashi-sensei didn’t care about him.

A grimace tugged at his lips. Was Kakashi-sensei only training him out of obligation? Because he had to? The thought hurt, but in a way, it made sense. Sakura was nothing but cannon fodder in the team, the son of civilians, objectively the weakest member.

With Naruto and Sasuke, the intensity was different: their sensei corrected them, tested them. He challenged them as if he truly expected them to become something great.

But Sakura… Sakura got the basic tasks. As though Kakashi was content so long as he didn’t get in the way. He even spoke to him more gently than to Naruto and Sasuke, treated him with more kindness. It was completely unfair!

The silence of the road grew unbearable.

Naruto’s chatter mixed with the crunch of boots on the dirt, as if everything around him wanted to remind Sakura that he didn’t belong there.

I’m not enough, he thought. He had to work harder, even if it meant training alone, just so he could prove to his sensei later that he was worth the time. That he wasn’t just… cannon fodder. That he wasn’t just a disgrace, even if he was.

“We’ve talked about this, Sakura. You’re not a disgrace,” Inner scolded him.

“I am,” Sakura answered. And the thought—no, the conviction—surfaced with the ease of something repeated daily, like a learned reflex, like something he truly believed.

Sakura remembered his mother’s severe face, the word he had heard so many times it was almost like a surname: disgrace. The voice rang so clear in his mind he had to bite his tongue to stop himself from answering out loud.

 

«"If you were something else… if you had been born different, we wouldn’t have to carry the shame.”»

 

Sakura hunched his shoulders unconsciously. Maybe Kakashi had noticed too. Maybe he saw him the same way: a mistake. Maybe he had realized Sakura’s true nature and now despised him for it. It made sense.

Naruto had strength and determination. Sasuke had talent and cold resolve. But what did he have, besides pretty pink hair and lies?

A tongue licked his hand, and he looked at Kurogane. A small smile curved his lips. “I’m fine, girl,” he told her.

Right. He had Kurogane. He had something good, too.

Sakura tried to comfort himself with what he’d learned that week—the commands, the coordination, the polished movements with Kurogane—but even that memory didn’t ease the weight in his chest. It all felt like training off to the side, a corner to keep him where he wouldn’t bother the others.

His fingers played with the yellow ribbon around Kurogane’s neck.

He lifted his head once more toward Kakashi’s back. The sensei kept reading, relaxed, as if nothing in the world could disturb that calm. Not a glance behind, not even checking if the team was still following.

“I want him to see me.” The words slipped out of Sakura’s mouth, soft and low, like a murmur not meant to be heard. His eyes shone with unshed tears and determination.

That desire—so small and yet so devastating—lodged in his chest. He didn’t want gifts, or patience, or kind explanations, or gentle tones when people spoke to him. He wanted Kakashi to look at him the way he looked at Naruto and Sasuke when they fought: with sharp seriousness, with the promise that he was worth refining, that there was potential there. Even the blows he gave them when they disobeyed or fought each other—Sakura wanted those too.

A tingling ran up his neck. Anxiety, expectation, and fear tangled together on a tightrope. His first mission… his first real chance to prove he wasn’t a burden. That he could do more than show up late, more than follow simple orders, more than hold Kurogane’s leash, more than just watch.

If he failed…

No. He wouldn’t fail. He couldn’t.

Kurogane nudged his hand again with her nose, as if trying to anchor him to the present. Sakura swallowed and pressed his lips until it hurt.

He was going to prove it, he swore. Even if it broke him, Sakura was going to prove that he was worth it—to the team, and to his sensei.

 

 

 

 

.

.

.

 

The mission success rate had increased considerably ever since Sakura had forced himself to cover not only his own share of the work but also Naruto’s and Sasuke’s whenever the two of them argued. Of course, no one had noticed that he was really doing that, but that was fine with the pink-haired boy. He didn’t need the attention of his teammates or sensei just yet. Not until he proved he was enough.

On the other hand, the money he had been earning was working out wonderfully. He had started saving as much as he could after buying Kurogane’s things and investing in extra training equipment. In fact, he had even strapped on special training weights around his ankles and wrists, which he passed off as stylish daily accessories, while performing a series of incredibly strenuous katas (he had found them in a book at the library) for an extended period of time every morning after waking up and every night before going to bed.

Of course, Sakura knew that wasn’t nearly as much as the kind of training Sasuke and Naruto surely had, but for now, it was the best he could manage between missions, chores, and team training.

Unfortunately for him, it was also wearing him down far more than expected. Which was causing him to react a little slower in some situations—like now, while they were chasing the cat.

“Sasuke, here at point B!” His least favorite teammate’s voice sounded even graver through the radio. Sakura shuddered in disgust.

“Sakura and Kurogane here at point C!” he reported right after.

There was silence for a couple of seconds.

“Naruto here at point A!”

“You’re slow, Naruto,” Kakashi scolded. “All right, Team 7… huh?”

A sharp crack rang out as their target bolted from its hiding place.

“The target has moved! Follow it!”

“Got it! Over there!” Naruto shouted.

The three of them launched quickly and silently into the neighboring trees.

“What’s your distance from the target?” Kakashi asked.

“Five meters. I can get it whenever I want!” Naruto reported impatiently.

“I’m ready too!” Sasuke was equally impatient to succeed.

“Me too…” Sakura thought this wasn’t the best idea. Cats grew nervous and fierce when they were frightened; if they all rushed it now, it would only bolt again. They weren’t even surrounding it properly—they’d attack from one wall, and that would surely scare it off. And Kurogane’s presence wasn’t helping much either.

Although…

“All right,” Kakashi’s voice came through the earpiece, “do it!”

“Wait!” Sakura saw Naruto nearly lose his balance, and Sasuke shot him a glare.

“What?” The pink-haired boy noticed that Naruto’s rough tone wasn’t annoyance at him but rather impatience to finish that stupid mission. Oddly enough, Naruto never seemed to get mad at him anyway.

“If we all rush it at once, we’ll scare it,” Sakura warned them. “We have to be cautious.”

“Got a better idea?” Sasuke asked.

Sakura swallowed, tightening his grip on Kurogane’s leash as the cat darted nimbly between the branches. His heart was racing—not so much because of the difficulty of the mission, but because this was the first time he dared to openly contradict his teammates’ impulses.

“Yes,” he answered firmly, though his voice wavered just a little. “We can catch it without frightening it. Listen: Sasuke, you and Naruto take the flanks. Don’t get too close—just make yourselves visible enough to cut off its escape.”

Naruto was already about to protest, but Sakura raised his voice quickly before he could interrupt.

“I’ll handle guiding it! Kurogane will follow from behind, slowly, without making noise. She’s fast, but she can control herself if I tell her to. And when the cat sees it has nowhere to escape…” Sakura gestured with his eyes toward a small clearing a few meters ahead. “…we’ll drive it into that open space. There, it won’t have anywhere to climb.”

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, skeptical. “And what then? You catch it?”

Sakura clenched his jaw, forcing himself to stay calm. “I’ll be in the center, waiting. Kurogane will drive it straight to me, and we’ll catch it without hurting it.”

“You’re so smart, Sakura-chan! Really!” Naruto exclaimed with a cheerful grin.

Sakura offered him a small smile in return.

From the earpiece, Kakashi’s laid-back voice broke through the tension: “Hmm… interesting strategy. All right, follow Sakura’s plan.”

Kurogane gave a short bark, as if confirming her partner’s command. Sakura smiled a little, nervous, patting the dog’s head before whispering: “Ready, girl? Let’s show them what we can do.”

As Naruto and Sasuke moved into position, Sakura settled into the indicated clearing, feeling anxiety knot in his stomach. If this failed, he’d look like an idiot in front of everyone… but if it worked, maybe then his team would finally recognize the effort he was putting in. Maybe they’d start acknowledging him, little by little.

And more than anything, he’d prove he wasn’t a burden. He wasn’t just the disgrace his parents said he was—he was something more, even if it wasn’t obvious.

“Sasuke in position.” Sasuke’s voice came through his ear. Sakura ignored the chill that ran down his spine again, grimacing in distaste.

“Both of you, move when I give the signal.” He inhaled deeply and shouted: “Kurogane, now! Guys!”

The dog launched into the chase. The cat leapt at the same time as Naruto and Sasuke. Only they were faster, and the cat, its attention fixed solely on the massive canine pursuing it, ended up darting straight toward Sakura. Unfortunately, it veered off at the last moment.

“Damn it!” Sakura cursed, starting to run toward the cat.

“Uyaaahhh! Got it!” Naruto, luckily a bit closer, caught it mid-leap—much to the cat’s displeasure, as it immediately began clawing at the blonde’s face.

Sakura was grateful he hadn’t been the one to grab the animal. “I’m definitely more of a dog person. I don’t think I could’ve handled that beast on my own,” he told Sasuke, shaking his head as he looked at Naruto. The dark-haired boy seemed to smile.

“Does it have the ribbon on its right ear? Are you sure this is our target, Tora?” Kakashi’s voice crackled over the radio.

“It’s the target, no doubt about it,” Sasuke replied calmly, completely ignoring the screams of his blond teammate as the cat continued its assault.

“Good! The mission to capture the lost pet ‘Tora’ is complete,” Kakashi told them. “Nice work, you three!” A bark followed. “Ah—sorry, Kurogane-chan, I meant nice work, all four of you!”

“ISN’T THERE A MISSION WITH MORE URGENCY THAN THIS!?” Naruto shouted, practically blowing out the earpiece—and everyone’s hearing along with it.

They returned Tora to its owner as ordered. The woman nearly smothered the creature in her embrace. Sakura didn’t dare feel sorry for the cat after seeing what it had done to Naruto’s face.

“Serves you right! Stupid cat!” Naruto growled as he watched the scene.

“No wonder it ran away…” Sakura muttered. Sasuke nodded, and Kurogane barked in agreement before getting distracted trying to stick her nose into Kakashi’s pocket. The man discreetly handed her a dog treat while patting her head.

Sakura thought that, so far, Kakashi’s favorite team member was Kurogane. He wasn’t surprised. His girl really was adorable.

 

 

Notes:

Funfact: Sakura bought several colored ribbons from Kurogane and even bought some matching ones because he's that dumb.

On the other hand, in my opinion, Sakura can sometimes be an unreliable narrator when it comes to certain things, especially with her not-enough-enough mentality, and you'll see that when the other Team 7 members' perspectives are exposed. And the Waves mission begins in the next chapter! So get ready!

Oh, and in the next chapter, Sakura's parents appear again, too.