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The weirdest part of his relationship with Roy, in Jason’s opinion, were the changes in his personal taste. He began to prefer coffee over tea, ‘cause that’s what Roy drank. He was getting into more adventure and sci-fi movies, rather than his usual roster of old romantic films, ‘cause those were the movies that Lian always picked. Most importantly, though, was his newfound distaste for silence.
It was never really quiet in his shitty safe houses: gunshots, yelling, sirens- there was always something happening. No, the noise that he was looking for was the noise of a home. A movie playing in the other room, Roy cooking in the kitchen, Lian complaining about her homework, any number of things he had gotten used to in his short time staying with Roy.
Now he was back in Gotham, stuck in his shitty safehouse after a rough night of patrol. His body ached everywhere, soothed only a little by the warm shower he had just taken.
Pyjama pants on, hair the concept of towel dried, and Jason was beyond ready for bed.
Then he checked his phone.
> Roy (02:36)
Can I call u?
Plz <3
Two minutes ago.
Jason felt his shoulders relax a bit, snorting softly as he plunked down onto his bed, and despite his want for sleep, he texted back.
> (02:38)
yea
It was barely another minute, just enough for Jason to turn off the bed-side light and get under his blankets before his phone lit up.
“Hey babe.” Jason couldn’t keep the smile from his voice, closing his eyes and leaning back into his pillow.
“Hey, sugar-pie!” Roy chimed from the other end. His voice was a bit hushed, rough in the sleepy way that Jason liked.
“Y’know you’re really embarrassing yourself with those nicknames.” Jason huffed, ignoring the warm feeling that settled firmly in his chest.
“Not as much as I embarrass you, and that's really the whole point.” Roy said, and Jason could just picture him leaning back in bed, phone on speaker resting on his chest.
“Whatever, Harper. You’re up late, what gives?” Jason moved on, letting his eyes fall shut to the sound of Roy’s voice and distant police sirens.
“You’ll never guess what: I like calling my boyfriend and hearing his voice. Plus, now hold onto your socks for this one, I also like checking in on him.” Roy let out a faux gasp, making Jason snicker.
“Y’re such a dick, why do I put up with you?” Jason mumbled, smiling stupidly to himself.
“‘Cause you love me so bad, it honestly makes you look pretty fuckin’ stupid sometimes.” Roy hummed happily.
Jason’s smile broadened, unable to give back more than a small “Yeah” in confirmation. He did love Roy ‘so bad’, and it probably did make him look a little stupid sometimes.
He basked in the not-so-silence for a moment, listening to Roy breathe through the line. His heart ached deep in his chest. He wanted to be there. He wanted to be in bed with Roy, next to him when he woke up, in the kitchen to make him and Lian breakfast, at the table to help Lian with her homework: he wanted to be there for it all. For the first time in the years since he had been back, he was thinking past the bad guy of the week, thinking about the future- the far future at that- and his future always had Roy and Lian at the centre of it.
“I miss you,” Jason let himself admit, “both of you, like…a lot.” His voice was barely above a whisper, just loud enough for his phone to pick it up.
“We miss you too, Jaybird.” Roy mumbled back, sounding less tired than he did a minute ago. “Can’t wait to see you again, to watch stupid movies n’ do cheesy romantic shit together.”
Jason was about to respond when Roy let out another little hum, one that, in the years they had worked together, never meant anything good.
“Plus, y’know, other stuff.”
Jason’s eyes snapped open, feeling his face flush instantly.
“Other stuff?” He wondered, voice cracking a little at the words. His blush only got worse as Roy let out a chuckle on the other line, deep and coarse.
“Yeah, other stuff. You know what I mean. I’ve still got tons of things to test out with you, gotta see what makes you twitch, Jayce.” Roy’s voice was still rough with sleep, but it had taken on a new sort of air.
All Jason could do was let out a small hum, feeling his body react to Roy’s words embarrassingly fast. His chest grew warm as heat pooled lower and lower down his abdomen. He pulled the phone away from his ear and put it on speaker, resting it next to his head on the pillow.
“Been thinking about you a lot, ‘bout how you looked on my bed, how you felt, fuck you were such a dream for me, baby. You’re gonna have to muzzle me the next time we see each other.” Roy kept on talking, and Jason could hear the shuffling of sheets on the other line. His head was reeling. It wasn’t like he was a shy talker, but hearing Roy talk like this? It left his head spinning. “Keep thinkin’ ‘bout how you sounded. It’s been my best spank bank material since you left.”
There was silence on the line for a moment, and Jason blinked as the words settled.
“Spank bank?” He wondered aloud. The meaning was pretty obvious, the name itself sounded like it came from a bad 90s porno. Still, the idea seemed…foreign, for lack of a better term.
“Yeah. Y’know, the stuff you think about when you get off. Fuck, babe, I keep thinking ‘bout how nice you took me n’ I’m basically there already.” Roy practically groaned into the phone. Jason huffed, sitting up and pulling his knees to his chest, all previous signs of exhaustion leaving him in what felt like an instant. He picked the phone up and rested it on one of his knees while he leaned his head on the other.
“You think about me?” Jason mumbled into the phone, almost in awe. He knew he was blushing, he could feel the heat running from the tips of his ears down to his chest.
“Of course, beautiful. Don’t you think about me?” Roy wondered, that rough-and-tumble quality of his voice that had Jason hot under the collar easing, if only a little.
It wasn’t often that Jason felt wrongfooted, but suddenly he felt like he had just failed some test he hadn’t even known he was taking.
“I mean, no. Not really, I guess.” Jason muttered, and that feeling became so much worse. The silence on the line was deafening, and Jason felt a small pit of dread building up in his stomach. He was about to give a small hello to make sure that Roy was actually still there, but he was beat to it.
“What do you think about?” Roy’s voice had lost all of the playful rumble that Jason suddenly craved as panic gripped deep down in his chest, resting heavily where his cross still hung.
So, reasonably of course, Jason resorted to the one thing he could in moments like these: defensiveness.
“What sorta fuckin’ question is that?” Jason scoffed, and he could feel that it was the wrong thing to say.
More silence. God, when did Jason start hating silence so much? He had been isolated for hours and tortured for days and never even batted an eye, yet all of a sudden his boyfriend was a little too quiet and he was on the verge of pissing himself.
“Don’t start getting fucking pissy with me, Jason.” Roy finally grumbled into the phone. At the sound of his name instead of some stupid-ass cheesy pet name, Jason actually felt a wave of nausea roll over him. He could deal with people being mad at him, even family like Bruce or Dick, but Roy? God, he wanted to die. “Answer my question honestly. What do you think about when you jack off?”
The only way out is through, Jason supposed.
“Nothing. Absolutely nothing, and as much as I appreciate you thinking about me, you don't have to.” He mumbled, irritation ebbing from his body. It was always like that with Roy, he could never stay upset with him.
“Nothing? Like- ever? Not even before we got together?” Roy’s voice lost most of its temper, not a shadow of distrust in his words. Jason felt his entire body deflate, sighing softly. He laid back down, resting the phone on his chest as one of his arms came up to cover his eyes.
“No. I mean, it’s just a chore like, I dunno, doing dishes. I think about the same shit as I do in the shower as I do when I,” Jason trailed off, face heating up a little. It wasn’t like he was a blushing virgin (anymore), he could give locker-room talk as good as he got it, but something about doing it with Roy felt more…vulnerable, “when I jack off.”
There was silence for two seconds before Roy burst out laughing on the other line, and Jason had the sudden idea of hanging up and killing Roy in his sleep. The other quickly silenced himself, Jason assumed to not wake Lian, but he was still giggling.
“God, you’re such a fucking treat, Jay.” Roy snickered, all his playfulness from before returning at full force. That being said, all Jason could do was grumble into the phone. “Just as a little FY-to-the-I, babe, most people think about shit that turns them on. That’s why a lot of people watch porn. That’s why I think about you.”
That did something funny to Jason’s insides, dick twitching in his pyjama pants. He guessed he understood. When he was younger his mind would slip away to the boys in his class, to the football players on his school’s team, to the men in the old romantic comedies he would watch on rare occasions with Alfred, but then he would feel so guilty, so disgusted, that he would break down crying.
That’s why, when he came back to life, he moved to efficiency over pleasure. He would think of tasks he needed to do, what safehouses needed restocking, what guns needed cleaning, anything that would keep his mind on track and get him done as quickly as possible.
He wasn’t gonna tell Roy all that, though. Not now, anyways. Not yet. Instead he just huffed, mildly embarrassed. He opened his mouth to call his boyfriend stupid or dumbass or any number of other loving and endearing terms he could think of, but Roy cut him off.
“Want me to talk you through it?” His voice was lower now, that rough, almost sleepy quality that had Jason feeling hot under the collar seeping back into his words.
Jason’s eyes snapped open, arm moving off of his face as he looked down at his phone. Still on call. Seconds ticked by. He wasn’t dreaming.
“What?” It took all of Jason’s self control to keep his voice from cracking, but something must have slipped through because he could practically feel Roy grinning on the other line.
“Yeah, right now. Lemme talk you through it. Show you how to give yourself a good time.” There was more shuffling on the other line before Roy spoke again. “Let’s start easy. Ask me what I’m wearing.”
Jason dropped his head back on his pillow, staring up at the ceiling with wide eyes.
“Um, okay. What’re you wearin’?” His voice was meek, closing his eyes again as if that would save him from any further embarrassment.
“Right now I’m in my wife-beater, you know the one I got a couple years back, the one that’s a bit tight on me.”
God, did Jason know it. Since Roy quit the hero gig and got clean for Lian, he had put on a pound or two in all the right places. He could picture the shirt straining around his pecs, how it rode up at his midsection to reveal the tail-end of his happy trail, how it showed off his pale and freckled collarbones. He could picture it perfectly behind his eyelids.
“What else?” Jason mumbled, and Roy just chuckled.
“Nothing else, baby.” He purred through the phone. Jason’s pyjama pants suddenly felt far too tight. A quiet oh slipped past his lips. “What about you, Jay? Where are you right now?”
It took a couple seconds but finally Jason opened his eyes again to look around, feeling ridiculous as he made sure he was still in his dingy safehouse.
“Uh, I’m in the safehouse on the corner of Tenth and Principal, I’m layin’ in bed, and I’m wearing,” he glanced down at himself before looking away quickly as he noticed his tenting pants, “uh, those flannel pjs you like, the blue n’ grey ones,” a small pause, “plus my cross,” he felt the need to add, “also, my hair’s all wet ‘cause I just got outta the shower.”
There was a small, shaky breath on the other line that had Jason pausing. Was he-?
“That’s good baby, fuck, that’s great. Now I want you to drag your hand, nice n’ slow, down your stomach and into those pretty pants of yours, ‘kay?”
“What?” Jason choked out, looking down abruptly to the phone on his chest. Roy just laughed, and something about that had a shiver running down Jason’s spine. “Roy-”
“C’mon, please? Just once I wanna show you what it can feel like, then if you don’t like it I’ll never bring it up again.” Roy practically begged, but Jason could feel the challenge hidden in his words. He just scoffed and looked back up to the ceiling, face burning.
“Whatever. Fine, but if at any point I think this is stupid, I’m not doing it anymore.”
Roy was already making some half-baked agreements that Jason really didn’t care to listen to. With a decent amount of shame and embarrassment, he rested one hand across his eyes again as the other slunk down into his pj pants, resting on his thigh and fastidiously avoiding his dick.
“Shut up, I have my hand down my pants. Now what.” Jason tried so so hard to make himself sound as unbothered as possible, but if his boyfriend’s satisfied hum were anything to go by he was painfully unsuccessful.
“I want you to grip yourself- not too firm, we’re not trying to win a race, here- and stroke up n’ down nice and slow.” Roy’s voice sent a pleasant thrum through Jason’s body, dick twitching where it rested half-hard next to his hand.
With a burning face he slowly dragged his hand a couple inches across his hips, slowly curling his fingers around his base before slowly dragging his hand up to his tip and down again. He couldn’t help the shaky breath he let out at the contact. Without lube or lotion it was dry, but that just forced him to stick to his slow pace, fingers ghosting along his hyper-sensitive skin.
Despite the instant and ingrained urge to just get it over with, some deep-seated desire in his body relished in the idea of just listening to Roy. He trusted the other man with his life, a feeling that had been tested one too many times in their, admittedly, short lives. For the first time maybe ever, Jason realized he trusted and felt comfortable enough with someone that he could just…sit back. Not have to overthink.
That was an all-consuming thought for later, though, as Roy let out his own noise that had Jason’s hips bucking.
“Yeah, just like that baby- fuck I wish I could see you,” Roy basically panted into the phone. “Right now I’m picturing you all sweaty with your hand wrapped around yourself, picturing you arching your back and biting your lip.”
Jason made a weak noise in response, his mind creating a picture of Roy, laid back against his unnaturally fluffy pillows, tight tank top sticking to his skin in all the right places, one hand running though his messy hair as the other- as the other- god. Jason’s hand faltered.
“Roy-”
“Do you have lube in your room?” Roy mumbled, interrupting whatever he had to say. Jason blinked his eyes open, readjusting to the light for a second before he pulled his hand from his pants.
“Uh, yeah, hold on.” Jason placed his phone on his pillow, reaching over and shuffling through his nightstand.
“Once you’re back I want you to take off those pretty little pants of yours-” “They’re not little, they’re a size large-” “pretty little pants, and lay on your stomach with your knees under you. I want you face down ass up, babe.”
It took every fibre in Jason’s being to not scoff, but he did roll his eyes as he sat back in his bed.
“That’s so embarrassing. It’s not even a good position to jack off in.” He grumbled, setting the lube aside and taking off his pants anyways, throwing them mindlessly across the room.
“That’s ‘cause in the next five minutes I want you two knuckles deep inside yourself, and that’s a little tough to do laying down.” Roy huffed into the phone, a sound like a chuckle passing through his lips. Jason, on the other hand, could practically feel the blood in his body rushing downwards.
Nonetheless, he grumbled into the line as he got into position, feeling a little too exposed.
“I feel stupid like this.” He mumbled, face on his pillow tilted towards his phone. His knees were hiked up underneath him, legs pressed together, and back arched in a way that almost ached.
Roy just let out a soft grunt, and Jason could picture the muscles in his arm straining. What would Roy do if he were here? Would he push a hand down between his shoulderblades, keep him down? Would he tease Jason until he cried? Would he go slow this time, drag it out until they both collapsed? Jason could feel his cock twitch against his stomach.
“No, no, I bet you look like a fucking dream, baby. God, I wish I was there,” There was a grunt through the line, “Fuck, Jay, you’re such a good boy for me, y’know that? Why don’t you get a couple fingers nice n’ wet for me?” Roy sounded a little out of breath, and Jason had to hold back a whine. He had barely even touched himself and he could feel the pre beading at his tip.
If ever asked, Jason would say he hated being called shit like good boy, but fuck if it didn’t do something for him when Roy said it. He mumbled a small ‘okay’ and did just as asked, coating three fingers generously.
“Should I-” Jason cleared his throat, “Uh, can I put them…I mean-”
“Yeah, yeah beautiful go ahead, thanks for asking. So fucking good for me, huh? Asking permission n’ everything.”
Jason felt a jolt run down his spine, biting the inside of his cheek to restrain himself. He just hummed noncommittally and stretched his arm behind himself. The position was a bit stiff and awkward, but slowly he ran his fingers across his rim, shivering at the cool contact.
“Been thinking about you,” Jason mumbled without thinking, slowly pushing a finger in with a hitched sigh. Roy let out a grunt in response, prompting Jason to continue. “Just- ugh, god this feels weird- ‘bout how you- how you felt.”
Roy let out a shaky breath and Jason flushed, slowly pushing the finger to its hilt with a small grunt.
“This don’ feel like when you did it,” He huffed, brows furrowing as he pulled the finger back out an inch before shoving it back in with a bitten-off grunt. Roy let out a small noise that had Jason breathing a bit heavier.
“Put another finger in, nice n’ slow, then crook ‘em a little.” Roy sounded almost smug as if he could hear Jason remembering that all-consuming pleasure that had his finger twitching inside himself.
“C’mon Jaybird, just let go and listen to my voice. Imagine I’m there with you, getting you nice and open. Can you do that for me?”
That’s all Jason was picturing. Behind his eyelids he saw Roy kneeling behind him, feeling the ghost of his hand running up and down his spine, pretending that the finger rutting desperately deep within him was Roy’s.
His cock hung heavy and useless between his thighs as he spread his legs further apart, attempting to push his finger deeper. When that didn’t work, he gave a dissatisfied noise and finally listened to Roy, slowly pushing in a second finger alongside the first.
“Fucking- god, shit-” Jason tucked his head between his shoulders. He knew it would be harder for Roy to hear him but he couldn’t care less at that moment. He didn’t think he would ever get used to the stretch, the feeling of being so unusually full despite only having pushed in two fingers.
“Dunno how you fuckin’ fit inside me,” He panted into his sheets, spreading his fingers apart with a whine, “got two in me n’ it already feels like I’m stuffed.” Jason’s voice wavered as he pushed the two fingers knuckle-deep. Roy let out a moan in response, one that had Jason shivering, pausing his ministrations to compose himself.
“You felt so good, baby. Could barely fit, but you did so fucking good for me.” Roy rambled, and Jason swore he could hear faint wet noises on the other line. He moaned in response, sounding high and whiny even to his own ears.
He pushed his fingers further and crooked them as he pulled out like he remembered Roy doing, and he finally hit it. A shock of pleasure went down his spine, hot and cold assaulted his skin as static ran as an undercurrent through his veins. Jason didn’t hear the noise he made, but he could feel his body moving: legs spreading wider, cock leaking precum onto the bedsheets below, back arching as he pushed back into his own hand.
Desperately, he tried to thrust his fingers the same way he remembered Roy fucking him, deep and hard and fast. Through the low ringing in his ears he could hear his voice cracking on Roy’s name, and he could hear the other rambling something through the phone but it barely registered. He could make out small praises that did something funny to his head, but the rest was lost on him.
“Good boy- ngh fuck- my pretty boy-” Roy was panting into the phone, wet noises coming faster and louder. “Wish you could see what you’re doing to me, baby- wish I could see you.”
Jason let out a garbled noise in return, free hand gripping the sheets so hard he swore he heard them rip.
“Roy-” Jason let out a low noise, “Roy pl- ah- please I w’nna- an’ther finger-” He shoved his face into his pillows, trying to muffle the, frankly, humiliating noises that moved past his lips as he tried to push his fingers in deeper.
“Yeah, yeah Jaybird you’re doing so good, you deserve it.” Roy let out his own series of whiny and shameful noises, ones that Jason would lock away in his mind to keep forever.
This time around, Jason didn’t bother to ease himself into it. He pulled his two fingers out to their tips and shoved three back in. The discomfort was nothing in comparison to the shockwave of pleasure that ran under his skin as he dragged his fingers across his prostate.
He pictured Roy grinning almost meanly down at him as he called him his good boy and telling him he looked pretty. He wanted- he didn’t even know what he wanted. He didn’t know what was okay to want. He knew he wanted Roy to fuck him into the mattress again, but as he thrust his fingers harder, he pictured Roy being rougher. He pictured his boyfriend, who was shorter in both stature and muscle than him, manhandling him and pushing him around.
Jason felt the telltale electric hum building from the depths of his abdomen begin to crawl up his spine, but no matter how hard or fast he went it never built higher. Between his gasps and moans he felt tears begin to sting the back of his eyes, desperation spilling between every crack.
“Can’t- god- Roy I can’t- close.” Jason attempted to babble out between relentless thrusts of his fingers. Roy let out an all-too pleased moan, his own noises coming to a fevered pitch.
“Start stroking yourself baby boy, nice n’ quick, let me hear you.” Roy sounded wrecked , and Jason couldn’t help but comply. He rested his head sideways on his pillow as his free hand shot down to grip at his forgotten and neglected cock.
Tears slipped from Jason’s eyes as he let out a sob at the contact, now stuck between thrusting back on his fingers and rolling his hips into his fist.
“C’mon, baby, my beautiful boy, sound so pretty, come for me.” Roy growled, and that was the final straw.
Stars burst behind Jason’s eyes as more tears fell, Roy’s name like a mantra on his lips. His body went rigid as cum splattered across his hand and his bedsheets, and he could feel himself contracting around his fingers as he pressed into his prostate.
His throat was raw from yelling and his body twitched as he milked himself dry, riding the waves of his high as he made little punched out noises. The ringing in his ears began to fade in time for him to hear Roy falling apart on the other line.
“Jay-! Fuckfuckfuck Jason-” The rest was muffled as Roy no doubt tried to silence himself. Jason shivered at the noise, and as Roy began to quiet down he slowly pulled his fingers out and moved his hand away from his spent dick with a choked grunt. With far too much effort Jason rolled himself onto his back, careful to not disturb his phone.
The two of them panted heavily for several seconds as their minds caught back up to them. Jason seemed to recover first, mumbling a soft ‘fuck’ and a chuckle as he closed his eyes. All of the night’s previous tension was drained from his body and he felt half-decent for the first time since he left Roy’s place a week ago.
“So?” Roy hummed, still breathing heavier than before. Jason grinned and cracked his eyes open to look at his phone, as if Roy would magically appear next to him.
“I get the appeal,” was all he mumbled in return, closing his eyes and turning back to face the ceiling again. Roy let out his own small laugh.
There was a content quiet on the line for a bit, both men basking in their respective after-glows. It was a minute before reality really came crashing back down onto Jason and he grimaced. Both his hands were sticky and gross, his face was matted with dried tears, he was sweaty, and his newly-changed sheets were not only covered in his cum, tears, and sweat, but they were ripped. He stared down at his hands and stomach in dismay.
“I’m gonna have to streamline this, though, cause I just took a shower n’ now I’m gross again.” He grumbled into the phone. At that Roy let out a real laugh, one that almost made the grossness worth it.
“Well maybe you should start staying with me more often, cause then I could show you how awesome of a boyfriend I am by cleaning you up and taking care of you.” Roy hummed playfully, but Jason could feel the weight of something a bit more real underneath the words, something that made his heart all fuzzy.
“Yeah, maybe I should. Spend more time at yours, I mean.” He mumbled, glancing at his phone again.
“Maybe you should.” Roy’s tone was softer now, more vulnerable than he usually let himself be. There was silence on the line as Jason let himself revel in the moment.
“Why don’t I stay over for a couple days next week? Spend some time with you n’ Lian?”
“Lian would be so happy. She really likes it when you’re here,” Roy’s smile could be heard through the phone, “and I don’t mind it when you’re here, either.”
Jason couldn’t help but snort, closing his eyes as they became heavier.
“Why don’t we make plans in the morning? I’m falling asleep at the wheel here.”
“Okay, princess needs her beauty sleep, I get it! Sleep well, angel.” Roy chuckled, and Jason let out a small indignant huff in return.
There was a moment of silent hesitation before Jason replied, “G’night, babe. I love you.”
The words settled across the line and Roy answered back just as softly, “I love you too, Jaybird.”