Chapter 1: Distance Makes The Heart Grow Crazier
Chapter Text
“Hyung.”
It doesn't make any sense. Why does Kangmin keep avoiding him? Gyehyeon makes sure he's available whenever the younger idol could need him - but it feels like he's seeing him less and less.
“Hyung?”
Did Gyehyeon do something wrong? No - what could he have possibly done to scare the latter off? The others must've told him something - they have to be messing with his mind in some way. They were tainting him - changing him. Kangmin would never abandon him, they were family. Kangmin loved him…right?
“Gyehyeonie.”
Gyehyeon flinched when a set of hands shook him from his thoughts. He looked up at the culprit, his eyes wide with shock until he let out a breath at the realization. “Sorry, Seowon. I got a little lost in thought.” He apologized.
“I could tell.” Seowon frowned as he grabbed onto Gyehyeon’s hand. He then turned it over, putting the man’s bloodied thumb nail on display. “You were biting it while staring off at the wall…I would've left you be, but as soon as I saw the blood I got worried. It looks like it hurts, are you alright? Do you need me to grab the first aid??” He offered.
Instead of answering, Gyehyeon could only stare at the wound. Now that he was out of that trance-like state - he felt it. The throbbing pain was pulsing through his finger and down to his palm, causing his face to scrunch in discomfort. It hurt, bad, how did he not realize how bad off it was?
“No,” Gyehyeon finally spoke up. He put on the best smile he could despite the pain, as his other hand came up to cup over the injured finger. “I'll take care of it. You don't need to worry about me. You should get some rest for tomorrow’s filming. Sorry to stress you, I'll try to keep myself from doing it again.”
Seowon’s worried expression melted into a pout. Gyehyeon almost felt bad - but it didn't cause his heart to skip a beat like whenever Kangmin did it. “I doubt I'll be able to sleep. The others are downstairs in the common room making a fuss with some kind of ‘party’. Every few minutes you hear a shout or cheer. It's originally why I was calling for you…I was going to ask if you wanted to go down together.” He explained,a shy smile replacing his pout.
Gyehyeon wanted to decline right away. He was never one for parties. He'd rather be practicing, resting, or reading whatever webtoon he could find online. Parties were a waste of time in his eyes…but Kangmin always disagreed with him on that. The younger idol had to be down there - surely. He'd never pass on an opportunity like that unless he was feeling unwell, and last time he checked Kangmin was more energetic than ever earlier in the day.
“That sounds great, actually.” Gyehyeon replied. He watched the way the light seemed to return to Seowon’s eyes. His shoulders lifted, and his smile got even brighter. Really, was one simple yes all it took to make him happy? “Let me go get this washed up and we can head down, yeah?” He hummed, smiling at the latter before he got up from his bed.
“Of course, Hyung!” Seowon beamed as he took a step back. “Take your time, and make sure you dry it well to avoid any infections.”
Gyehyeon simply nodded in return before he excused himself from the bedroom. Cleaning up the wound wasn't hard, but that didn't mean it wasn't painful. Every dab of cotton had him hissing in discomfort, and disinfecting the wound with an alcohol pad caused his vision to blur for a split second. God, he really needed to work on less painful regulating methods.
Back when Verivery first debuted he used to pick and scratch at his skin. It got so bad that the stylists had to dress him in long sleeves to avoid any rumors. When that finally cleared up - he found himself picking and biting his lips. He lost count of the amount of times the makeup artists scolded him, because his lips were so damaged they couldn't put any product on them without causing him any pain.
Gyehyeon has been self destructive for as long as he can remember, but even when he tries to get better - he always falls into a variant of the same habits.
When his finger was finally bandaged up, Gyehyeon took the time to clean up his mess and return the first aid kit to its rightful place under the sink. When he stood up - he paused at the sight of his own reflection. He looked like his normal self. Nothing was out of the ordinary, except for the smudge of red on the corner of his mouth. He reached his hand up to wipe the blood away, but he couldn't stop staring at himself. He was the same - so why didn't Kangmin come to him anymore?
Gyehyeon couldn't remember the last time the latter snuck into the bedroom to curl up in his bed with him. Kangmin was so focused on others, he couldn't even remember what it felt like for the younger idol to smile at him. Would he ever get to hear Kangmin call him Hyung again? What if he liked these trainees better - what if he never wanted to come back home again? Was Kangmin avoiding him because he found a better life?
No. He couldn't. Gyehyeon knows what's best for him. Gyehyeon protected him all these years. Gyehyeon needs to be near him - he can't blindly trust any of these contestants. His Kangmin is still too naive, too friendly, too soft. These bastards will hurt him if he lets his guard down long enough. The real world will chew him up and spit him out without any mercy.
No, no, Gyehyeon couldn't let that happen. He had to keep Kangmin safe no matter what.
Knock. Knock. Knock. “Gyehyeonie??”
Gyehyeon let out a shaky breath as he finally snapped out of it. Staring at his own reflection, he saw just how deranged he looked. His eyes were wild like some feral animal - his face reddened with anger over something that hadn't even happened. Yet. He hadn't even realized he had been gripping onto the edges of the sink until he pulled his hands away. He hissed in pain, the soreness settling into the fingers as he finally reached for the door to open it.
Seowon perked up, his always sweet smile on display. It was cute, but it did nothing to dull the buzzing in the back of Gyehyeon’s head. “Ready to go? Junseo said they managed to pull a few strings to get staff to order chicken!” He announced with excitement.
“Sounds great.” Gyehyeon replied with a fake smile. He allowed Seowon to grab onto his hand and pull him down the hall. After that little - moment - in the bathroom he felt even less willing to go downstairs, but he held onto the hope that Kangmin would be there to dull the ache in his chest.
Kangmin could make it all better. All he needed was for the younger idol to acknowledge him.
“Hey!” One of the contestants spoke up once they stepped into the room. “Look who decided to join in!”
A mixture of contestants flocked the two. Multiple voices chimed in at once, but Gyehyeon couldn't process a single one. It all mushed into a high pitched ringing in his ears that made him feel like clawing them off. But before he could snap, a hand grabbed him by the wrist and yanked him away from the crowd. Gyehyeon nearly stumbled to the floor due to the sudden force, but luckily a familiar embrace caught him before he got too far.
“You alright??”
Gyehyeon felt a genuine sense of relief when he turned to find Dongheon was the one that grabbed him. “Yeah, sorry…I'm just - worried about tomorrow.” He lied to keep the latter from stressing.
Dongheon sighed as he leaned his back against the wall behind him. “I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried too. I've made it a lot further than I expected, but at the same time I don't know if I'm ready to be sent home yet. The unknown is scary…but…I know you two will carry our group’s name with you to the finale. We’ll be cheering you on from the living room, I promise.” He chuckled softly.
“How can you be so sure? Kangmin has the fans’ hearts…but my talent is the only thing keeping me afloat. It won't be long before I sink too.” Gyehyeon brought his arms up to hug himself. It wasn't the best method to self soothe, but it gave him some source of comfort as the dreadful thoughts started to trickle back in.
“You'll make it through.” Dongheon assured. “Someone has to be here for Kangmin, and out of the two of us I know you'll do a better job. Kangmin needs you, Gyehyeon. Use that motivation to fuel your fire.”
“But…” Gyehyeon didn't get to finish his reply, a familiar laugh caught his attention instead. Both him and Dongheon turned to find Kangmin with two other contestants. Leo and Sangwon. The ones who always seemed to grab Kangmin’s attention one way or another. Gyehyeon couldn't hear what they were talking about - but that detail didn't matter to him. He was more focused on the way he was practically sandwiched between the two. Leo stood close, sure, but Sangwon had his arm slung over the latter’s shoulder as they talked to him. Gyehyeon could feel his eye start to twitch at the sight.
What made it worse was that Kangmin looked happy. He was laughing, smiling, he was showing every possible sign that he was having a good time with someone that wasn't Gyehyeon.
“He might have made friends.” Dongheon spoke up, grabbing Gyehyeon’s attention before his thoughts could get violent. “But you know Kangmin needs familiarity to thrive. He gets nervous if not. As long as you try your best, that's what matters. Keep the youngest safe for as long as we can, that was the promise we made all those years ago, wasn't it?”
Gyehyeon pressed his nails into the sides of his arms. “Well, yeah, but -” he winced when Dongheon placed his hand on their shoulder. Not out of fear, but because he was so out of it he hadn't processed the sudden movement.
“No buts, Gyehyeon.” Dongheon gave the latter’s shoulder a light squeeze. “It's all going to be okay in the end. Don't give up until the world gives you a reason to. Stay looking towards the bright side for as long as you can. As long as Kangmin is safe, then you're doing a good job.”
As much as Gyehyeon wanted to believe it, he couldn't. He couldn't even remember the last time Kangmin said hi to him, let alone feel like he was keeping the youngest member safe. Kangmin seemed happier with these new people, despite how much he hated the thought. Maybe Kangmin was maturing past the group he once knew - maybe he really did want an opportunity to break away from them.
No, he couldn't. Gyehyeon couldn't let that happen.
But he knew he couldn't act now, so he played nice in the meantime. He talked to a few contestants, joked around with Seowon, and enjoyed some food with Dongheon. But despite how many minutes had passed - Kangmin didn't even look his way, not once. He seemed infatuated with his new friends, chatting up a storm, laughing like they had told the funniest joke imaginable. The sight made Gyehyeon’s blood boil, but he stayed quiet.
He played the role of a regular party goer until it started to get late. More and more people started to file out of the room, and eventually Seowon tugged on his sleeve. “Hey, wanna head up and get ready for bed? They want us up by eight, so it's probably best to get to sleep before midnight.”
Gyehyeon hummed in acknowledgment, before he grabbed ahold of Seowon’s hand. “Night, Dongheon, get back to your room safely.” He spoke up. Dongheon nodded in return before replying with a quick ‘rest well’. And so Gyehyeon followed Seowon back upstairs.
He was exhausted now. Something about socializing always managed to drain him, but this time felt even worse. There was also a feeling of defeat, heartbreak, even dread. He hated it, but now wasn't the time to mope around. He needed to wash up for bed.
It didn't take long, luckily, most of the all-stars who left the ‘party’ before them had already finished. So he and Seowon were able to change and do their nightly routines without having to wait on others.
“Gyehyeon?” The younger of the two spoke up.
Gyehyeon waited until he was situated under the covers before he bothered to answer. “Mhm?”
Seowon curled up under his blanket once he turned to face the latter. “Do you think…there's a chance of us debuting together?” He asked.
The room was silent for longer than necessary as Gyehyeon thought it over. Did he even want to debut? If Kangmin wasn't in it, he couldn't care any less. Seowon was good company, sure, but it wasn't who he wanted. He didn't want to give him false hope - sugar coating fate in a place like this made failure hurt even worse. Seowon was a gentle soul, he didn't need that weight.
“I don't know.” Was the answer Gyehyeon settled on. “Nobody really knows the outcome. You could be the best of the best, and one simple mistake can send you tumbling right to elimination. And besides, at the end of the day it's a popularity contest. And I think it's safe to say you're far more popular than me.” He chuckled despite the knot in his chest. Kangmin was more popular than the both of them. That fact had been haunting Gyehyeon since the start of the show. “You just have to hold onto hope, I suppose. Work hard and pray it pays off.”
Gyehyeon couldn't see Seowon’s frown in the dark, but it was prominent. “Oh.” He muttered, having to take a moment to swallow the urge to cry that was clawing up his throat. “I guess you have a point, yeah…goodnight, Gyehyeon. Let's do our best no matter what.”
“Let's do our best.” Gyehyeon replied as he finally let his eyes fall shut. “Goodnight, Seowon.”
— — — — —
Everything about this day was wrong.
The film lights were too bright - Gyehyeon could swear he could hear a faint buzzing coming from them. It was causing his head to ache even worse than the lights themselves.
Everyone was too loud. Their laughter, their far from hushed conversations, even the way they breathed seemed to make Gyehyeon more and more annoyed.
His clothes were too constricting. The stage crew were too demanding. He was hungry, thirsty, overheating. He just wanted it all to end before he blew up on everyone here.
But his reactions were valid. Everyone ends up frazzled on elimination days.
Of course, Kangmin was one of the first ten names they called to the safe side. The other contestants cheered as he ran over. Kangmin ended up in Junseo’s embrace. His smile was so bright - so full of hope. Gyehyeon couldn't help but wonder if he even remembered he had a group waiting for him at home.
He wasn't even listening to the names being announced. The only thing tying him to reality was Seowon occasionally squeezing his hand out of nervous habit. Other than that Gyehyeon couldn't tear his gaze away from Kangmin. The other contestants were too close. They touched him too often. They talked too sweetly. They - they weren't Gyehyeon. Why did they have to take him away? After all these years of being happy, why was his world crumbling before him now?
Gyehyeon had been so out of it he hadn't even realized how few contestants were left until it was too late. The host of the episode had said something about revealing the last surviving member, and suddenly he was squeezing Seowon’s hand back. Why were they here with only one seat to spare? And one look back confirmed his worry of Dongheon being right behind him - already looking defeated.
Gyehyeon looked to the safe section, and for the first time in days, Kangmin was looking back at him. The younger idol looked scared, almost as if he was on the verge of tears. It looked like he wanted to move, but he couldn't when the cameras were rolling. Despite the sudden rush of emotions, Gyehyeon could only smile. Even if it felt like his world was crumbling around him, he couldn’t stand seeing Kangmin upset. He mouthed the words 'it's okay’, nodding despite how the latter frantically shook his head in response. ‘You’re okay.’
“Our final contestant who is moving on is…Seo Won!”
Cheers erupted from the safe circle. A few tried to wave Seowon over, but the boy was stuck in place. He immediately turned to look at Gyehyeon, who was already deflated with defeat.
“Hyung.” Seowon tried to say it calmly, but as the tears welled in his eyes he couldn't help but whimper. “Hyung…”
Gyehyeon spared one more look at Kangmin. He looked just as devastated, if not worse. At least Junseo and Masato were comforting him. Even if Gyehyeon didn't like the unfamiliar hands on the youngest, at least he was getting some form of comfort when he couldn’t provide it.
“Gyehyeonie…”
“It's okay.” Gyehyeon put on a fake smile as he squeezed Seowon’s hand. “You're going to win this, I know it. You'll become a big star, Seowon. Keep fighting for it.”
Seowon stepped forward and simply melted into Gyehyeon’s embrace. He could feel the latter’s tears dampening his shirt, but he said nothing as he rubbed his back and continued to assure him that everything would be okay.
It took some time to settle him back down, but between Junseo and a staff member they managed to get Seowon over to the safe circle.
“Now,” the host spoke up. “We have our final lineup for the finale!” He announced. As he motioned to the group the boys cheered. Meanwhile, the lights above the eliminated dimmed. It was their sign that they were done. It was time to go home.
It was really over. Gyehyeon wasn't going back to the dorm, he couldn’t watch over Kangmin. The youngest would be here on his own, at risk to whatever these bastards could possibly do to him. The thought boiled Gyehyeon’s blood. He couldn't leave, no, not now. He shouldn't -
“Gyehyeon.”
Gyehyeon slowly turned to meet Dongheon’s gaze. It was hard to hear him over the sounds of the host and surviving contestants, but Gyehyeon tried his best to listen. “We protected him for as long as we could. He's an adult now. This is just a sign that we should let him try things for himself.
The tears started to fall before he could stop them. Hearing that from Dongheon, of all people, really settled in the weight of the situation. “I can't.” He mumbled, bringing his hand up to shield his tear soaked face from the rest of the world. “I can't, you know I can't.”
Despite his resistance, Dongheon wrapped his arm around Gyehyeon and walked him towards the exit. He followed quietly, his sobs being the only sound in the silent hallway besides the rumble of luggage wheels on tile. They headed for the door, and Gyehyeon found the strength to push it open. The car was parked by the sidewalk - their manager was even standing beside it, waiting for them.
Was this really it? No goodbye, no ‘good luck’, no - nothing? Was he really supposed to go home heartbroken and shaken up just to act like nothing happened? It didn't feel right, but Gyehyeon didn't fight it. He followed Dongheon over to the car and helped make sure their luggage was secure in the back before he got inside.
The ride back was quiet. Nobody dared to say a word, so the radio was the only thing to fill the silence. Gyehyeon didn't mind it, he was too lost in his own head to talk in the first place.
When they arrived back at the dorms Yeonho and Yongseung were quick to greet them. Gyehyeon tried his best to assure them he was okay, but he quickly turned in for the night before too many questions could be asked.
He didn't even bother to wash up. Everything felt worthless without Kangmin there, so why bother? His PC didn't have one of his usual games up and running, you couldn't hear him laughing or talking in one of the other rooms, the only thing that he bothered to leave was his penguin plush.
‘I don't want him to get ripped over there. So I'll leave him here for when I come back. I'm sure Yongseung and Yeonho will take care of him for me.’ He had said it in that always sweet tone. He even had that childish smile on his face as he said it. Kangmin loved that damned thing, but Gyehyeon loved that he loved it. He found it adorable, no matter how old Kangmin got that little penguin was always by his side. It was like a piece of Kangmin. A fragment of his soul he left in the dorm, waiting for the rest of him so that he can be whole once more.
It's exactly why the plush ended up in Gyehyeon’s hold. It still faintly smelled of Kangmin’s cologne. The kind Gyehyeon had bought him for his birthday. He brought the plush up to his nose, taking in the barely present scent as if it would magically bring Kangmin back home. As much as Gyehyeon wanted it to help, it only made the ache in his heart worse. He hugged the plush close, tears slipping down his face until he buried it in the stuffed animal’s worn down fuzz.
This didn't feel right, not at all. This couldn't be their fate. Gyehyeon can't sit there and watch as the world strips Kangmin from him. When will they realize that he had him first? They can't take him - they can't!! They don't know how fragile Kangmin can be. They don't know how to help him when he's overwhelmed. They don't know the food he likes - or the ones he avoids. They don't know Kangmin at all, they could never replace Gyehyeon! They don't even know how precious this penguin plush is to him either -
The plush.
If Kangmin was going to debut in this group, would they give him enough time to come back and collect his plush? What if they don't? What if they make him change his number, and then he won't be able to contact them for it? Without the plush or Gyehyeon, he'd have no source of comfort. He'd be entirely alone - no, no Gyehyeon couldn't let that happen to him.
From there, Gyehyeon moved purely on impulse. His tear soaked clothes were changed for black attire. Something loose and easy to move in. He had told the others he was heading out to the convenience store, because they didn't need to know he called a taxi to take him all the way back to the dormitory. It was difficult to get through without getting caught, but Gyehyeon’s determination kept him moving.
Kangmin needed him. Kangmin needed his plush. He needed to make sure the youngest was okay.
Just like the night before, it seemed everyone was huddled in the main room to celebrate before getting ready for the finale. Gyehyeon couldn't check to see if Kangmin was in there, he'd surely blow his cover, so instead he quietly made his way up the stairs to Kangmin’s room.
His original plan was to plant the plushie and leave, but to his surprise when he cracked the door open the room was occupied. Whoever was staying with him must've been celebrating with the rest, because the only one in the room was Kangmin. He was curled up on his bed, his pillow trapped tightly in his hold as his body softly shook with the heft of his sobs.
Gyehyeon should've left. He should've sobered up right then and there - but he didn't. He stepped inside the room and quietly shut the door behind him. It was only when the faint ‘click’ of the lock echoed in the room did the latter finally lift his head up.
“Gyehyeon -”
He moved without thinking. Gyehyeon used Kangmin’s shock to clear the distance and wrap him in a hug. The younger idol didn't seem to mind, seeing as he immediately melted into the embrace as his cries continued. “I know, I know, shhh.” Gyehyeon whispered as he situated himself on the bed.
“I-...I thought you left without…saying goodbye.” Kangmin choked through his sobs.
Gyehyeon combed his fingers through the latter’s hair as he sighed. “I did…at least, I originally did. We weren't given any time to talk, the staff ushered us towards the door. I had no choice, I'm so sorry.”
Kangmin tried to pull away, but Gyehyeon tightening his grip kept him in place. He didn't question it though, instead he simply shifted closer so that the both of them were pressed side to side. “But why did you come back..?” He asked.
“Well…originally I wanted to bring you this.” Gyehyeon paused long enough to pull out the plush from his bag. The whole trip was well worth it to see the way Kangmin’s eyes lit up as he immediately pulled the penguin into a hug.
“Thank you, Hyung!” He beamed, smiling at Gyehyeon despite his tear stained face. “Thank you, really, you had no idea how lonely I felt when I turned around and you and Dongheon were gone…I thought I would have to go through the rest of this competition without the people who keep me going.”
“The people who keep you going?” Gyehyeon repeated.
“Well…yeah?” Kangmin looked at him in confusion. “Sure, meeting new people has been nice. And I've loved having the chance to perform again…but it's not fun when I don't have my family here with me. Nobody can replace you guys, no matter how much I try to fake it.”
“You should come home.” Gyehyeon suddenly spoke.
Kangmin’s eyes widened. “H- Huh??”
Gyehyeon turned to grab Kangmin by his shoulders. He tried to look calm, but there was something in his eyes, something more that had Kangmin leaning back to put space between them. “Come back home, Kangmin. We’ve gained more than enough attention from the press and fans. We’ll be fine if we all return back to the group. We can be a family again. You don't have to feel alone anymore. You can be safe with us again if you just drop out.” His grip tightened as the desperation got worse. “Please.”
“Hyung - you're hurting me -” Kangmin grabbed hold of Gyehyeon’s wrist, but when he tried to pull his hand away Gyehyeon shoved him up against the wall instead. The younger idol groaned due to the sudden head pain, but he didn't have time to process it since the latter was suddenly too close for comfort.
“Don't you want to??” Gyehyeon’s smile looked hopeful for a moment, but it quickly dissolved as he brought one hand up to pet Kangmin’s hair, ignoring the way the latter flinched. “We all miss you back in the dorm. You should just forget this competition. Come home, Kangmin. We need you. I need you.”
Kangmin suddenly looked terrified. Sure, Gyehyeon had his moments, but he had never acted this bad before. Kangmin tried to remove Gyehyeon’s hands once more, but it was no use, the grip tightened again, causing him to make a noise of pain that the latter quickly shushed. “But…but I like it here.” He hesitantly answered.
The hope fizzled out from Gyehyeon’s eyes. “You like it?” He repeated, any remaining smile fading into a blank expression. “Despite your family no longer being present, you like it?”
“I want to perform…” Kangmin answered truthfully. “Please, even if I don't make it into the final lineup, I want to try for a little longer.”
Gyehyeon stared at the latter. It wasn't out of hatred, but it was definitely an emotion strong enough to have Kangmin squirming underneath him. “After all I've done for you - this is how you feel? I've worked so hard to protect you from the men out there - but you still want to stay?” He asked out of pure shock.
“Protect me…? They haven't done anything wrong.” Kangmin tried to assure him.
“You don't know, Kangmin. I do. I've seen what they've done, I know what they've said about you behind closed doors. I know how they feel about you, what they think about you. They aren't good people, Kangmin. None of them are. I just protected you from it so that you could enjoy this little side project.”
Lies, they were all lies. But Gyehyeon was willing to say whatever it took to get him back.
“No…” Kangmin’s bottom lip quivered as the realization sunk in for him. “No - they said - they said they wanted to debut with me? They've cheered me on this whole time. They refer to me as a friend, and it sounds genuine. How can you be so sure??” He questioned.
Gyehyeon sighed as he shook his head. “Why do you think I spent all that time with you during any schedules? The PR filming, the meet with the fans, the photoshoots. I was there to keep them from hurting you, Kangmin. They wouldn't do anything while I was around, because they knew not to mess with me.”
Kangmin was at a loss for words for a while. He could only stare at Gyehyeon, his mouth opening and closing on words he wanted to say - but never committed to. But after a long drag of silence he finally let out a shaky breath and responded. “But - why? I don't think I've ever seen you hurt as much as a fly before. Did you threaten them…?”
“I didn't lay a finger on them, I assure you.” Gyehyeon let his head cock to the side. “But I could. I wouldn't feel an ounce of regret, especially when it comes to keeping you safe.” Gyehyeon leaned in closer until their foreheads were pressed together. Kangmin looked terrified, but a part of Gyehyeon’s brain liked it. “If they spoke ill of you, I'd crack their jaw. If they tried to touch you, I'd gladly break their fingers one by one. I'm a man of my word, after all. If they try anything I'm not afraid of doing whatever it takes.”
Kangmin shook his head, but the grip on his hair tightened, locking him in place. “You can't - ah -! You can't say stuff like that! If someone heard you, or even worse, if someone saw you then they'll take it right to the presses. There will be articles out in no time, you could lose your career - you could even be sent to trial, Hyung!” He exclaimed.
Somehow, despite the fear, he still worried about Gyehyeon.
“Then it's better for you to come home, don't you think? That way we can avoid this whole mess altogether.” Gyehyeon smiled sweetly, a contrast to the deranged look in his eye. “Everyone misses you so much, I'm sure Yeonho and Yongseung would love to see you again, don't you think? We can all go out to dinner and discuss things as a group. We can figure out how to move forward together, you just need to come home.”
“Hyung…” Kangmin hiccuped on a cry. “I…I….” he paused. Something told him that Gyehyeon wouldn't like the answer he was going to give. But he'd never hurt him - right? Gyehyeon never raised an ill intended hand at him, surely he wouldn't start now. Kangmin was scared of the man in front of him, but he swallowed those emotions so that he could answer truthfully. “I don't want to come home yet, please…I want to prove to you guys that I can be something on my own.”
Gyehyeon groaned in exhaustion. “You've already proved yourself, Kangmin, the drama -”
“No!” Kangmin interjected, flinching at the offended look he got in return. “That was something small. It could barely be considered an impactful decision. But this - this is huge. Even if I manage to hang on until the very end, I made something for myself. I did it on my own, I crafted this image - I did it all by myself…please, Hyung, please let me prove myself.” He begged.
Gyehyeon was quiet. Kangmin really had changed. He wasn't that sweet - pliant kid anymore. He didn't follow Gyehyeon around like a lost duckling, waiting to be told what to do. He was an adult now, someone with his own desires and dreams. Gyehyeon was realizing in real time just how far gone Kangmin was.
This show was a mistake. If he had known just how out of reach the younger idol would be, he would've never agreed to it.
But it's fine. Gyehyeon can fix it, he always does.
“Fine.” He finally released his hold on Kangmin as he pulled back. “Fine. If that's really what you want.” He slipped off the bed and took the time to fix his outfit before he let out a sigh. He tilted his head back, acting as if the decision was weighing heavy on him. “Don't say I didn't warn you, Kangmin. I tried, I really tried. But it seems you need to learn for yourself.”
“Hyung…” Kangmin reached out for him, but Gyehyeon was already heading towards the door.
“But when you realize I was telling the truth…you know where to find me.” He finished before opening the door. He was a little startled to find Kangmin's roommate on the other side - he must've been struggling with the lock - but Gyehyeon simply pushed past him so that he could rush out of the building.
Just because he failed once didn't mean he would give up. He would get Kangmin back one way or another. By any means, by any sacrifice, he would get his Kangmin back home.
Even if he had to drag him kicking and screaming the whole way.
Chapter 2: Gyehyeon's Spiral
Notes:
Again, probably has errors 😭
Chapter Text
Gyehyeon was in his own little world the following days. He didn't entirely isolate himself, he did interact with the other members to keep them from worrying, and even joined them on a grocery run so he could get out for a bit. But otherwise, Gyehyeon was glued to his phone. He acted frantic around it - snatching it up as soon as he heard a notification - or tilting it out of view if someone sat down beside him. Dongheon had asked him about his behavior at one point, but Gyehyeon assured him everything was alright.
It was the best he could say, because he knew if Dongheon was aware that he was trying to get Kangmin off the show there would be a whole intervention staged in no time.
They didn't understand, they never would. It wasn't like Gyehyeon was going to make things messy, no. Kangmin would get to enjoy his little game a little longer. Gyehyeon was simply bribing internal sources one by one to make sure the votes were altered enough to prevent him from being in the final lineup. He would barely miss the cutoff, he needed to taste that victory - only for it to be stripped away. Gyehyeon needed Kangmin to realize how badly he needed his family, that no matter how hard he tried he couldn't succeed on his own.
It was harsh, some would even call him incredibly cruel, but Gyehyeon was willing to play dirty if it meant getting Kangmin back.
“Gyehyeon, the finale is starting, are you coming?”
He looked up from his phone to meet Yongseung’s gaze. It was finally happening, he was about to see if all this money was going to pay off. “Yeah, I'm coming.” He answered with his usual smile. But still, he waited for Yongseung to leave the bedroom before he bothered to get up and head into the living room. “What did I miss?” He asked, settling down in his spot beside Dongheon.
“We’re waiting for the live segment to start. In the meantime they're showing small interviews of the remaining contestants.” Yeonho explained.
“Have they shown Kangmin??” Gyehyeon stared at the tv as Junmin was the one speaking. He was rambling on about being grateful for the opportunity, and that he hadn't expected to make it as far as he did. Gyehyeon couldn't help but smile a little. When it came to the show he didn't care for many, but Junmin was one of the few that managed to stick out to him. Hopefully he would be the one to get Kangmin’s place.
“Haven't seen him yet.” Dongheon was the one to answer as he leaned back on the couch. “But I doubt they'll show everyone, since it should be starting up soon.”
Gyehyeon hummed in acknowledgment as he continued to watch. The video of Junmin faded, only for the next one to start. He was a little startled to see Seowon on the screen. As the man talked about how crazy his second time on the show has been, Gyehyeon couldn't help but feel bad. He didn't get to say goodbye. Sure, they weren't incredibly close, but Seowon had stuck by his side through everything. The latter could never replace Kangmin, but that didn't mean he didn't care about him.
‘How do you feel about making it this far in the competition?’ The interviewer asked Seowon.
Suddenly, the man’s smile faltered. ‘Ah.’ He started, and Gyehyeon couldn't ignore the way his eyes started to water. 'Being on this show again has been an amazing privilege. I've performed alongside so many amazing contestants…but I can't help but feel sad that I've lost so many friends.’
Seowon continued to talk. Something about feeling the weight of his friends' absence, and wishing they could all perform together one last time. It was definitely an emotional speech, but Gyehyeon was more focused on the slowed down clips the editors were playing over his response. Many of them contained him and Seowon - them practicing together, laughing together. As if Gyehyeon didn't feel bad enough, he could only sink down in his seat to hide from the grief.
Seowon should debut. Maybe then they could meet up more. It really was nice to have a new friend to talk to while Kangmin was off - well - being Kangmin.
When Seowon’s interview came to an end the screen went black. A few seconds of silence passed, until the live broadcast finally appeared. The other three cheered, but Gyehyeon couldn't even fake a smile. He felt sick while staring at the screen. Kangmin was there, his smile as bright as ever. He was waving to the crowd, to the cameras, it felt like he was looking right into Gyehyeon’s soul and saying ‘look how well I'm doing without you.’ The sight made him sick, but all he could do was catch his nail between his teeth and bite down to try and redirect his frustration.
The show went by as normal. Gyehyeon couldn't care any less, but he watched so the others wouldn't question his lack of interest. He watched, and watched. He saw how Kangmin interacted with the others. He watched as he chased around Junseo - and every other word was Hyung, Hyung, Hyung.
Gyehyeon needed to hear that again, but directed at him. It wasn't fair, it really wasn't.
When everything finally came down to the announcements the room went silent. First place, second place, third - the people Gyehyeon expected to win were being listed off left and right. The crowd was cheering, the contestants were crying tears of joy. Everything you'd expect from an emotion packed finale.
Fourth. Fifth. Sixth. Seventh.
Gyehyeon held his breath when it came down to last place. Please. Please. Kangmin needed to come home. Whenever the camera panned to him he looked so defeated - but Gyehyeon could fix it. He can hold him until all the bad thoughts go away. He could pick his confidence back up piece by piece and help remind him what he's capable of. Please, just let him come home.
‘Our eighth contestant debuting is….’
Gyehyeon held his breath as the suspense drew out longer and longer. Please, please, please.
‘Seo Won!!’
The crowd on the television erupted into cheers. Gyehyeon could only sigh in relief. The other three sounded disappointed, so it was hard to hide just how giddy Gyehyeon felt as he watched Seowon run over to the last seat only to be wrapped in an embrace by two other winners.
Good. If anyone deserved that spot it was him. He was glad that booting Kangmin down gave Seowon the chance he truly deserved. He seemed happy, and surprisingly it made Gyehyeon feel happy too.
“It's such a shame.” Yeonho sighed from his spot on the floor. “Kangmin seemed really popular online. What changed to make him lose at the last second?”
“I don't know…maybe someone else's videos went viral and it altered the votes?” Yongseung proposed. “We’ll never truly know…I just hope Kangmin’s alright. He was working really hard.”
‘Here we have the eight contestants that the fans have picked! But, before we can introduce you to our soon to debut group, we have one final announcement to share with you all.’
“An announcement?” Dongheon spoke up out of confusion. Yongseung and Yeonho were mumbling amongst themselves, all while Gyehyeon was frozen. No, there couldn't be some twist. The show was over, that was the lineup-
And yet he had to watch in horror as staff wheeled in another chair with ‘9’ on the top of it.
'The producers believe one contestant shined so bright that he should join the rest in debuting. And that contestant is…’
“A ninth contestant?” Yongseung gasped.
“I thought that was just a rumor people had made up.” Yeonho chimed in.
Dongheon looked stunned. “They hadn't mentioned anything about that while we were filming?”
Gyehyeon was quiet. He was frozen, struck with shock so bad he couldn't even conceal his dreaded expression as he stared at the screen.
‘Yoo Kangmin! Congratulations!’
Confetti exploded on the stage. More cheers erupted from the screen, blending with the way the other three got up and started to shout for Kangmin’s success. But as everyone was celebrating, Gyehyeon’s head was spinning with confusion.
He had bribed them. They had said they'd make sure it got resolved. They promised - he paid the fee - but when he pulled his phone out to message them it quickly started to make sense
I thought we had a deal? (message not sent)
You said he'd be removed (message not sent)
Was this just a joke to you??? (message not sent)
As Gyehyeon stared down at the screen, that familiar ringing started to fill his ears. While the other members were celebrating, and Kangmin’s big smile was plastered on the tv, Gyehyeon could feel himself slipping further and further into a dark place. The sounds around him became muffled. The corners of his vision began to darken. His breathing grew short, more panicked, more frantic by the second.
No, no this couldn't be happening. This can't be his reality. Surely it was a dream - he'd wake up any second now, right? Gyehyeon reached down to pinch himself. The light pain only made him wince - but he was still stuck seeing what was in front of him. He tried again, and again, using more and more force until he started to see red.
No. No no no. Make it stop. He can't lose Kangmin. Not now, not when he was so close to getting him back. No, this can't - why are they taking him from him? Why do those greedy bastards want him so bad? They can't have him - they can't! When will they realize that Kangmin is his?!
Gyehyeon flinched when his hand was suddenly yanked away. His tear filled eyes looked up, but he could barely make out who it was. The muffled world around him didn't help either, he could barely make out hearing 'what's wrong?’
Another hand grabbed his other arm, and something cold pressed against the patch of skin that felt like it had been set ablaze. He really didn't mean to do it - he didn't - everything was too much, he was feeling too much - his body was too easy to break, it was the only thing to ease the buzzing in his brain.
At some point he had started to hyperventilate, because the air around him suddenly felt thin. There was pressure against his chest, and someone was definitely trying to coach him to breathe deeply - but Gyehyeon couldn't make it out. His eyes suddenly felt heavy, and the blurry world around him started to spin until his head fell back against the cushion.
The world went dark. And he fell unconscious.
— — — — —
When Gyehyeon finally woke up, his head was pounding. He groaned in pain as he brought his hand up to his forehead. He tried to sit up, but his head felt like it weighed a ton. Had he really fainted after all that? All he could recall was Kangmin’s name getting announced before everything went fuzzy.
Kangmin. After all his efforts the youngest was really going to debut. The insider took the money and ran. There was nothing he could do now but watch as the industry erased Kangmin’s past to pave the way for his future. Gyehyeon would be forgotten in no time as Kangmin cozied up to his new groupmates. He would be the one called Hyung now, instead of being that doe eyed sweet boy that Gyehyeon swore to always look after.
Why? Why did it have to be Kangmin? There were so many other great candidates, so why did they have to pick him? They stripped Gyehyeon of his Kangmin, his soulmate, his other half, the pulse that kept his heart beating - his blood flowing. Now he’s gone. It'll be only a matter of time before they get him a new number. They probably won't even let him visit to gather the last of his things. Instead they'll be left with the crumbs of what was. Gyehyeon will be forced to stare at the remains and wish he could go back and change the outcome. Why - why did he let this happen? He didn't want to snuff out Kangmin’s excitement, but if he had just said no then all of this could've been avoided. He could've kept Kangmin safe, he could've kept the youngest to himself. Why - why was he blinded by Kangmin’s happiness? Why did he let him get away so easily? He should've tried harder, put himself further in the spotlight, stuck closer to Kangmin to push the narrative of them staying together.
It was all his fault. Kangmin’s gone all because of him.
Gyehyeon didn't have the will to go on without Kangmin. What was the point of trying if his driving force was no longer there? Gyehyeon couldn't go back home either. He couldn't start a career when all he's known for years is the idol life. He can't - it won't feel right - he can't work a measly nine-to-five slaving his life away while watching Kangmin up there thriving on the television. He'd rather kill himself than live that reality. Death sounded more forgiving.
Gyehyeon forced himself to sit up and look around the dimmed room. Nobody else was there, but there was no light underneath the door. The others must've been sleeping in the other room, and Gyehyeon couldn't blame them. He didn't mean to let himself get that bad. Everything simply came tumbling down at once, and he was too far gone before he could control himself. He felt stupid. They probably thought he was insane - and he felt like it. Why? Why did he act this way? Why did it feel right and wrong at the same time? It didn't make sense, but before he could get too lost in thought he grabbed his phone off the dresser.
He knew it would only cause more damage, but he opened Twitter. It was his own fault for curating his feed, but seeing the swarm of Kangmin posts made his heart ache. So many of them were celebrating his achievement. Others were talking about how cute he looked celebrating with the other winners. There were even a few wishing him well despite feeling sad about him parting ways with Verivery. A few were discussing how the other members must feel, and Gyehyeon had to fight back his tears as he read through the replies.
He knows how the others feel. They're ecstatic that the world is finally recognizing Kangmin’s talent. They were cheering and dancing around the living room, celebrating a win despite the weight that came with it. Hoyoung and Minchan, wherever they may be at the moment, they must be proud too. They've always cheered Kangmin on no matter how big or small the project…so why did Gyehyeon feel so bad?
He hated it. He wanted time to stop so that he wouldn't have to watch this nightmare come to life. He couldn't sit there and watch Kangmin debut in another group. He couldn't bear the thought of seeing him happy with someone who wasn't him. It couldn't happen, it shouldn't happen. But it will. Eventually these horrible thoughts will play out before him, and Gyehyeon will be more devastated than before.
He hated how helpless he felt. He couldn't put a stop to things no matter how badly he wanted to. There was no stopping fate, Kangmin was gone, and he had to accept it. But he couldn't - he just couldn't - the thought alone made him nauseous. How could he possibly live without Kangmin??
The truth was he didn't want to.
Pushing through his grief, Gyehyeon slid himself off the bed and got up. He made his way out of the room and towards the kitchen, despite how his body felt as though it was made of cement. Carefully, he grabbed a glass from the cupboard, his hand shaking as he brought over the pitcher to pour himself some water. Only half of it made it into the cup - he was shaking so bad the rest ended up in the counter. Gyehyeon cursed under his breath as he set everything down to grab some paper towels. He couldn't even pour himself a glass of water correctly, how was he possibly supposed to continue on like this?
As Gyehyeon wiped up the mess, his gaze strayed. At first it was to the stove’s clock - it was late, had he really been passed out for that long? Maybe it would've been better if he stayed unconscious, at least he wouldn't be stuck with these thoughts.
Kangmin wouldn't have their home cooked meals anymore. He couldn't come lay with him when things felt too overwhelming. He couldn’t rub his back through thunderstorms, or listen to him ramble on about his games. They couldn't have their usual movie nights, or random market runs where they grabbed foods they definitely didn't need. The park walks - the vacations - even just practicing with him made Gyehyeon feel like everything was okay.
He loved his other members. They’ll always be his family - he's always cared about them -
But they weren't Kangmin.
Then, Gyehyeon’s gaze lowered to a drawer. His hand reached out, but hovered over the handle for a moment before he finally pulled it open. Inside was their everyday cutlery. Chopsticks, forks, spoons - but what Gyehyeon's focus landed on was the knives. He brushed past the butter and jam ones, his hand grasping the handle of one of the steak knives.
It was wrong. Something in the back of his mind was whispering at him to stop. To go to bed. Everything will work itself out in the end.
But he didn't listen to it.
Kangmin was gone. He failed his promise to keep the youngest safe. His main motivation to keep going was gone - so - why stay in the first place?
Gyehyeon let his back press against the counter, as he slowly slid down to the floor. He stared at the knife in his hold, twirled it ever-so-slowly as he watched the blade occasionally catch the moonlight peeking through the curtains.
He should've kept Kangmin closer.
No, he should've broken the hand of every person that dared to touch him.
Gyehyeon wasn't the strongest, but in the heat of the moment he always found himself gaining strength he didn't know he had. He could've broken a bone or two, caused a bloody nose or a black eye. Damn the press, damn the knetz, damn the editors, damn everyone who stood in his way. They took Kangmin from him. They knew what they wanted from the start and made sure to keep Gyehyeon away.
He pulled his knees up to his chest as he started to rock back and forth. His grip on the knife tightened, his knuckles turning white as he blankly stared forward.
He should've fought everyone who got between them. He should've threatened everyone who wanted to take him away. He should’ve hurt them. Every last one. They can't take care of Kangmin. They'll hurt him. They'll hurt his sweet Kangmin and he won't be able to stop it. The monsters, every last one of them. He should kill them before they get a chance, but he'll never get close enough. They'll always be just out of reach, always stuck on their high horses where Gyehyeon can't yank them down.
No. He can't watch this happen. He can't watch them tear Kangmin down. He can't - he can't be here when the time comes.
All the emotions had finally bubbled up to the top. Gyehyeon exploded. He moved in a blur, his armed hand slicing the blade across his skin. He wanted to shout in pain, but he knew if he was too loud the others would come running.
He deserved this. He needed to suffer for failing Kangmin.
Another whip of the blade had him biting down on the inside of his cheek to keep from sobbing. Tears freely streamed down his cheeks as the red started to coat his arm.
Another. Another.
Another slice had his stomach churning with intense nausea. Bile rose up his throat, causing Gyehyeon to throw himself to the side as he coughed up the last of his dinner. That was when the dizziness set in. Every few seconds his vision would blur, but it didn't hide how mangled his arm looked. The blood had seeped into his shirt, trickled down to the floor. It was everywhere. He was a mess, but it felt right. The buzzing in his brain finally subsided. This is what he needed. He needed to die so he wouldn't have to live with the guilt.
He was fine with this outcome. He could always watch Kangmin from above, right? Even if the youngest would never know he's there, he could visit him from the afterlife. He could touch his soft face once more, bask in the warmth of his smile, get lost in the softness of his eyes even for a little. The thought of that felt amazing. Suddenly, it was all Gyehyeon wanted.
And then the door opened.
The creak was so quiet Gyehyeon didn't process it. But he couldn't ignore the scream of terror.
“Hyung?!”
Gyehyeon’s head thumped back against the cabinet. His eyelids felt so heavy, he could barely keep his eyes open to see Kangmin running towards him and collapsing to his knees. “Hyung?! Hyung!!” He shouted, shaking Gyehyeon by his shoulders before he turned towards the bedrooms. “Call an ambulance!!”
Gyehyeon smiled despite how heavy the corners of his mouth felt. He dropped the blade in order to reach his hand up to caress the latter’s face. “So handsome.” He hummed, his own blood smearing across the latter’s horrified face. “You came home…”
Kangmin managed to grab Gyehyeon before his body could slump to the ground. “Of course I did! I told you I would!” He cried, shaking Gyehyeon to try and keep his eyes open. “Hyung, Gyehyeon needs help!!”
The other three came barreling into the room due to the screams. They were shouting about something, and Gyehyeon briefly saw the light of a phone screen, but none of that mattered now that Kangmin was in front of him. “You won…you did it.” He giggled softly, though his words were beginning to slur as he brought his injured arm up so he could gently squish Kangmin’s face. “My talented Kangmin, you showed them all.~”
“Hyung.” The younger idol sobbed. He nearly shoved Yongseung away out of panic, before he realized the latter grabbed Gyehyeon’s arm with a cloth to try and stop the bleeding. “Hyung, I promised I would come home. I told you I would as soon as it was over.” He hiccuped through his cries.
Gyehyeon’s brows furrowed. He was trying to focus on Kangmin, but as his sight only grew blurrier it was hard to focus when his vision split Kangmin into three. “You..wanted to come back…to me?”
Kangmin couldn't find the words, he could only nod before he hugged Gyehyeon and buried his face in the man’s blood soaked shirt.
“What a relief…” Gyehyeon chuckled softly, before his body went limp.
“Hyung…” Kangmin immediately sat back up. He tapped Gyehyeon on the cheek, but he didn't open his eyes, didn't flinch, nothing - “Hyung?!” He panicked, looking back to Dongheon and Yeonho who were crying as well. “How long until they're here?!”
“I - I -” Dongheon tried, but his voice was too shaky to get the words out.
“Four minutes.” Yeonho managed to answer.
Kangmin sobbed as he lowered his head, but Yongseung reached one of his hands up to squeeze his shoulder. “He's still breathing.” He assured, causing Kangmin to look at him in shock. Yongseung returned both hands to keep pressure on the wound, but he nodded his head in the direction Kangmin needed to look.
Sure enough, Gyehyeon’s chest was still slowly rising and lowering.
“Gyehyeon.” Kangmin sniffled as he brushed the hair out of Gyehyeon’s face. “I'm sorry...I should've listened. I'm so sorry...”
— — — — —
When Gyehyeon finally woke up he was in an unfamiliar room. The walls were white, and the lights were a little too bright for comfort, not to mention the beeping of the machines around him became annoying within a few short seconds. He groaned in discomfort as he shifted to sit up, but when he went to put pressure on one of his arms he shouted in pain and quickly yanked it back up. That was when he noticed that it was bandaged up, faint tints of red poking through the cloth bandages due to the excessive bleeding.
“Gyehyeon??”
He looked up to find Kangmin standing at the door with some snacks in his arms. Those were quickly abandoned though, tossed on the nearest surface as the youngest ran right to the bed in order to tightly wrap his arms around Gyehyeon. The latter winced in pain, but still managed to secure his good arm around Kangmin in order to hug back. “What are you doing here…?” He asked.
Kangmin pulled away with a frown on his face. “I've been here, Hyung…I even rode in the ambulance they took you in. I haven't left your side besides when they had to fix your arm up. You cut really deep, you're lucky you aren't worse off…”
Gyehyeon was silent. That night - Kangmin really was there? He thought it was a hallucination? Something his mind provided in order to comfort him through the pain. But no, Kangmin was really there, he saw him in his weakest moment - but he stayed.
“I'm sorry.” Gyehyeon spoke as his gaze lowered. “I didn't want you to see me like that.”
Kangmin shifted so that he could sit in front of him on the bed. “Why did you do it? If I hadn't shown up, you probably would've bled out. So why did you do it??” He asked.
There was no pretty way of answering it. But Gyehyeon figured the full truth would surely scare Kangmin off, and he couldn't imagine doing that after he just got him back. “It was a moment of weakness.” He answered. “I felt like I had failed, and that everything I worked towards was crumbling. I felt useless…and…I acted stupidly, I'm sorry.”
“Hyung…” Kangmin didn't speak any further. He let the room fall silent for some time, until he found what he wanted to say next. “Did you really believe I wasn't coming back?”
“You looked happy.” Gyehyeon shrugged. “You were smiling from ear to ear, so I was convinced you found some place happier.” He knew his expression could be compared to a kicked puppy, but he couldn't bother to fix it.
Kangmin giggled. Despite the heaviness in the air he genuinely managed to laugh. “I was acting. Every bit of it was acting.”
“Acting..?” Gyehyeon mumbled.
“Yeah!” Kangmin grabbed onto Gyehyeon’s good hand and gave it a few squeezes. “I couldn't show how I really felt, or else drama would've spread really fast. To be honest I was a little scared. I wasn't expecting to actually make it, so when they announced my name I was terrified. But I pretended to be happy so that no one would speculate anything. But then, after we were taken out to dinner to celebrate, I talked with staff that this didn't feel like the right path for me, and that I would like to discuss matters further with Jelpi…I'm not going to debut with them. They're great people, but I feel safer at home with you guys.”
“Then…why didn't you come home when I asked?” Gyehyeon couldn't help but question.
Kangmin frowned when he heard it. For a second Gyehyeon was worried he had upset him, but Kangmin continued regardless. “I was dumb.” He answered. “I was so caught up in the adrenaline of everything that I couldn't imagine going home. But when I won…you were right, Hyung. It didn't feel right. I wanted to go home right away, and I kind of regret not listening to you - no - I really do regret it. I know fans are going to be mad at me, and there's going to be rumors that I got removed instead of it being my own decision. But…I don't care, I wanted to be with my family again. And especially now - I want to be here to take care of you while you recover.”
“Kangminie…” Gyehyeon smiled as he motioned the latter closer. Kangmin moved without hesitation, letting himself get wrapped up in Gyehyeon’s embrace. The older of the two even kissed him on the forehead, but luckily Kangmin didn't make a fuss of it. “I'm glad to have you back home. I'm sorry the welcome wasn't the best.”
“It's alright,” Kangmin assured. “I'm just glad I came home when I did. You need me just as much as I need you, Hyung.”
Gyehyeon could only smile. Kangmin was right. He did need him, but not in the way he expected. Regardless, he got what he wanted in the end. Kangmin was back in his arms, safe and sound away from any potential harm. Sure, Gyehyeon showed a side of himself that he wasn't proud of, but they could grow and move past it together.
All that mattered to him was that he had Kangmin. His Kangmin. His sweet sweet Kangmin.
Everything would be okay now.
Deanwin on Chapter 1 Tue 12 Aug 2025 03:04PM UTC
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