Circular Saw

by Emme2589

Summary:

Henry witnesses a death that sticks to him even after a reset.

Notes:

No major character death because the dead character doesn't stay dead. Or even really die technically, but who's counting?

(Henry. Henry is counting.)

"YEEEEES-!"

Charles caught Henry as he stumbled into the cockpit after a stressful mission well done. Charles slid his chair backward so Henry could flop over him, shuddering deeply as he struggled for air.

Charles pulled him back, holding him up as he failed to maintain his balance, "You good, Hen? That was pretty shaky back there!"

Henry nodded, squeezing Charles' shoulders to keep himself upright, "Out of breath."

"Okay, take it easy. You can ride with me for the rest of the day, m'kay? We'll just head back to headquarters and uhh, celebrate our victory, yeah?"

Henry nodded, collapsing into his beloved copilot seat, sucking down breath after breath of precious oxygen with a shaky hand on his chest, staring up at the ceiling in an almost dazed relief.

"Fuck." Ellie stepped into the cockpit after Henry and fell against the chair, her knees hitting the floor so dirt flew off her pants and boots and scattered across the metal beneath her feet, "That kind of adrenaline is too much even for me!"

Henry straightened up, cradling Ellie's face in one hand, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." Ellie brought a hand up to her mouth, "I think my tooth cut my cheek when I hit the ground there, though. There's blood in my mouth."

"Did you hit your head?" Henry felt along her head with his fingers, parting her hair to check for bumps and cuts, "Any pain? Seeing okay? Not losing consciousness?"

"Relax, hon. I'm fine. I caught myself, so the worst is this bruise on my arm." Ellie lifted her arm, where a big ugly bruise was spreading from her elbow up her forearm until it disappeared under her glove.

"Oh my GOD!" Charles struggled for a minute to keep the helicopter going straight, "H-how does that not hurt!?"

"If an injury is bad enough, I just stop feeling it." Ellie winced, then coughed so blood spilled down the front of her shirt, "My cheek hurts a lot more. Oww-!"

Henry touched the bruise forming on her cheek, knowing there were deep teeth marks on the inside and trembling badly enough that he couldn't keep a steady hold on his comrade.

"Uhh, okay okay, Henry-!" Charles pointed to a little door in the wall of the cockpit, "I have a first aid kit in that compartment! Could you pull out a gauze bandage and press it into Ellie's mouth to stop the bleeding?"

Henry was already pulling it out while he was talking, "Bless you and your preparedness, Charlie."

Ellie opened her mouth for Henry's hand as he pressed the gauze to the inside of her cheek, and she gasped, going rigid as she nearly fell over from sudden weakness.

"Ellie!?" Henry gripped the back of her shirt to hold her up, his heart rate spiking as her eyelids fluttered.

"Hah-!" Ellie gasped, gripping Henry's arm on the chair, "Hahh...h-hurts..."

"Don't worry, Ellie, we'll be back at base in a jiffy!" Charles laughed nervously, forcing his eyes to stay on the horizon, "Y-you'll be fine, yeah? Don't you even worry about a thing!"

Charles was good at keeping a cool head under pressure, but sometimes a mission left him frazzled beyond belief and he ended up fighting to stay focused. It was really close, too. One of the criminals was carrying a heavy circular saw, and he would have bashed Ellie with it while she was on the ground if it hadn't been for Henry sweeping in with the chair, which broke the saw on the concrete floor as the convict flew back from the impact.

Henry was understandably very shaken after that encounter. As soon as the convict was out cold on the ground and reinforcements arrived on the scene, Henry helped Ellie stand and fussed over her frantically. Luckily, she was alive, and she hadn't even been knocked unconscious, but she wouldn't be fine for long if they couldn't get that bleeding cut or the bruising under control.

Charles clenched the wheel harder, trying to vent his excess energy. Panic would only put them in more danger. He took a deep breath, glanced at his radar screen, and let it out. He was in control. He knew how to fly. This was his territory, where he was king.

Henry was already pulling the helicopter door open before the blades stopped spinning, as he recognized the sound of Charles shutting the engine off, having heard it a million times before. He helped Ellie out, handing her over to the medics on site, who checked the gauze in her mouth that Ellie was now biting down on to hold in place.

"The bleeding's stopped. Come on, let's keep it that way."

"Ow!" Ellie's voice was muffled by gauze, "Care'ul, I mighta cracked a tooth."

Henry and Charles followed her to the medbay. She didn't have a cracked tooth, but she did bruise her gums along with her cheek. It was already clotting up just fine though, and the cut inside her cheek didn't even need a new bandage, so it was only hours later when she was back on her feet and joining in the after party. Charles normally kept an eye on Henry during these because he always wanted to drink, but nothing more than a glance made it obvious that Henry was stone-cold sober. Upon closer inspection, Henry's drink didn't have a single sip taken from it.

It took some time for Charles to notice, though luckily he wasn't a heavy drinker himself, so he was basically still sober even several minutes into the party. He slid into the chair next to Henry as the crowd quieted a little, conversations lulling as Henry's gaze snapped up, eyes almost empty and haunted before they focused on Charles.

"Henry? Are you okay?"

The crowd quieted even more, gazes moving to Henry in concern. It made him squirm a little in his seat before he suddenly got up, chair legs squeaking against the wooden floor of the bar before it toppled over and Henry was running to the bathroom.

"Henry!" Charles got up to follow him.

Ellie tried to get up too, but Galeforce put his arm up.

"No. Not yet." he said in his gentle voice, "Henry won' like if we hound 'em. If Charlie needs help, he'll come back."

Charles watched Henry disappear into the men's room. That was notable to him, because Henry was nonbinary and tended to prefer the gender-neutral room over the men's room. Did he expect the men's room to be more empty?

Charles went in after him, and he heard retching sounds coming from a stall close to the end, the door slamming open and then slamming shut, teetering with steady squeaks back and forth as it coasted to slightly ajar. The retching didn't continue though, it just devolved into sobs.

"H-Henry?" Charles approached the stall slowly, pushing slightly inside to search for the wayward ex-thief, "H-hey. Still shaken up? I know, I am too."

Henry looked up at Charles, those wide, haunted eyes seemingly looking right past him into something else, like he wasn't quite existing in the present.

Henry pushed himself to his feet, stumbling when he struggled to get around the swinging door. Charles caught him, holding him up strong and steady as he sucked down a couple breaths of air and then grabbed Charles' hand to hold it against his face.

Very softly, Henry huffed out a single word, "Died."

It took a moment for Charles to connect the dots in his head, and his eyes widened.

"Someone died. You had to go back in time to save someone?"

Henry nodded. Charles' stomach dropped.

"Who?"

Henry squeezed his eyes shut so a couple tears leaked out, "Ellie."

Charles remembered the convict. The circular saw. He had been close to hitting Ellie with it before Henry stopped him. It would have been so gruesome.

Henry choked on a sob, and then the story burst out of him like a dam cracking under pressure.

"It hit her really hard. I heard the crack of her skull breaking even through the whirring of the blade. There was so much blood. I could tell in the time it took me to get to her that she was already gone. I still held her. I cried. Everything was blurry and then it was so, so clear again. I had so much of her blood all over me and it made me feel sick knowing I was too late."

Charles gripped Henry's shirt just a little too tight, "B-but you did save her, yeah? You knew you could go back!"

"Yeah, but I don't always know when the universe will let me go back..." Henry's lip wobbled, and he sniffed, rubbing his eyes on his sleeves, "It was...it-it couldn't have been longer than a m-minute, but it felt like an eternity to me. I can still see it when I close my eyes, like it's burned into the back of my eyelids..."

"W-well..." Charles tugged a little on Henry's shirt, "Ellie is alive now, yeah? You saved her! Would it help to go back out there to see her? Alive and well?"

Henry leaned on Charles for balance a moment longer before standing up straight again, "Okay."

Charles beamed at him before leading him back out into the main room of the bar, where conversations had started up again a little bit, though this time in more hushed tones. Ellie looked up when Charles and Henry reappeared, and it quieted again as she rushed over to them.

"Are you okay, baby?" Ellie held Henry's cheek, rubbing at the drying tear there, "Hey, hey, what's going on?"

"Timeline." Henry said just barely above a whisper, "I saw you die."

Ellie gasped, a hand going up to cover her mouth. Henry lurched forward to hug her, and she held him up, giving him a steadying squeeze.

"Thank you for saving me."

She sounded genuinely shaken. Charles understood, he remembered when Henry told him he died in a different timeline and it shook him to his very core. Henry didn't usually talk about the things he saw between timelines because even when he remembered them, they were often upsetting.

Charles sensed the presence of General Galeforce before he came into view. He was one of those men who was intimidating, who could hold himself taller than he really was to command an entire room full of hardened soldiers but who chose to be gentle instead. He was a peaceful commander, and Charles loved him for it.

"Henry." Galeforce said softly, "Did something happen?"

He knew that Henry could see alternate timelines, but not the extent of them. Henry didn't even look up from Ellie's shoulder for awhile, and when he finally did, it was clear he was reluctant to let go of her.

"I don't usually remember lost timelines the moment after they disappear." Henry wetly gasped, grasping clumsily at the back of Ellie's shirt, "But I saw it. Even though it's gone, it's completely burned into me. It's something I'll never forget."

When Galeforce seemed torn between asking more questions and giving the poor traumatized private investigator more space, Charles filled in for him;

"Sir, the enemy was carrying a circular saw. It had power and was on. If it had hit Ellie the way the convict wanted to hit her, it would have split her head clean in half."

Several soldiers winced, including Henry and Ellie. Whoops. Too technical? Charles shut his mouth, feeling a little queasy from his own nonchalance.

"No, don't..." Galeforce nearly touched Charles' shoulder, but stopped himself at the last second, "Don't feel bad, Charlie. You were giving an explanation. Henry, if you can see multiple timelines, then presumably, you can change the outcome, right?"

"Erm, w-well..." Henry pulled back, rubbing his eyes, though with one hand still firmly around Ellie's shoulders, "Yes? But I don't have full control of it. Usually, it only happens when I'm in danger, when I have to make an important choice. I always choose the option I feel no dread from, because part of me remembers, even if it isn't conscious."

Galeforce smiled so the wrinkles around his eyes deepened, "How many times have you saved people that way?"

Henry's eyes widened, and his quiet sobs dried up.

"Uhh..." he scratched the back of his head, sighing as that hand traveled down his neck to rub there awkwardly, "I guess I don't know? I don't really th-think about it? Of course I save whoever I can, but I don't always...I-I can't remember..."

"Hey." Galeforce clapped Henry on the arm, "You don' gotta justify yourself to me, Henry. What matters is more people lived that otherwise wouldn't have, because you chose to save them. Thank you."

Henry stuttered for a moment, gave up, then tried again, "Of course I save people when I can. Why wouldn't I?"

Galeforce clasped his hands behind his back, standing at ease, "Have you ever considered learning more about your powers? It could be revolutionary if you could control them."

"Oh no, sir. I highly doubt I could." Henry swallowed, picking at a thread on the front of his hoodie, "And...u-um...I'm a l-little scared of my powers, to be honest. The more aware I am of them, the more terrified I become, like I'm peeking behind a veil not meant for human eyes. It's like...wh-what's the guy who made Cthulhu? Like it's eldritch. It's like trying to see the true form of god and knowing it'll burn your eyes out and you'll never be the same again..."

He covered his mouth with both hands, trembling a little as his hands curled into fists to press hard against his mouth, his knuckles straining against his teeth. He looked terrified, his knees shaking, wide eyes staring straight ahead at nothing. Charles wanted to hold him, to reassure him, to kiss him, just something! But he didn't know if anything he did would help or if it would only make Henry spiral more.

Finally, Galeforce replied, "You don't have to understand where they come from, or why you seem to only have control of the timeline at specific moments. How the power physically flows through you during moments like that could still be valuable data, and that kind of information might make it less scary to you."

Henry's mouth hung open. For one long moment, he just looked stunned. He did finally get his mouth to close again, but then his head tilted a little. His brow furrowed. He looked scared again, but even more unsure.

"Carrying something like this alone can't be easy." Galeforce reached out for a handshake, and Henry uneasily accepted the offer, "My soldiers and their well-being matter deeply to me. If there's anything I can do to make you feel more at ease, please; Don't hesitate to ask."

Henry nodded, and Galeforce let go.

"Do you need anything right now? I know trauma ain't easy to handle. I've seen so many people die in the line of fire, and no matter how many times you witness people get hurt, it always hits just as hard."

Henry sniffed again as his eyes filled with fresh tears.

"Don't feel the need to tough it out." Galeforce smiled through his own tears, shining along his lower waterline, not quite falling yet, "I know you wanna be strong, but nothing is more courageous than asking for help. We all lean on each other. It makes us all stronger."

Henry nodded, his lip wobbling as he said, "Th-thank you, sir."

That was when Charles finally unglued his feet from the floor and grabbed Henry in a crushing hug. Ellie joined in too, then a couple other soldiers Henry had grown close to like Rupert and Quentin.

"Alright, everyone, that's enough." Galeforce broke up the soldiers trying to join in the dogpile and laughing along the way, "Private Camper, I know fer a fact that you're drunk."

Henry laughed as he wiped his tears away. He reached for his own drink he'd abandoned on the bar. He knew to be careful drinking when he was upset, but just having one couldn't hurt, right?

---

After Charles went to bed, Ellie followed Henry back to his apartment in the barracks. She didn't ask to be let in, she just pushed past the door, huffing the way she did when she was trying to hold back her anger.

Uh oh.

Henry closed the door slowly. What had he done wrong? He looked back on his memories of the day, wondering how he could have upset her and coming up blank.

After a tense few moments where Ellie was just trying to put a cap on her temper, she finally turned around and looked Henry in the eye, her gaze so sharp it made him flinch.

"Is this why you always jump into everything!?"

Henry sighed, trembling a little.

"Do you know how scary it is to watch your face change like that..." Ellie walked up to him, backing him up against the wall, "...to see you jump into every situation like you need to use yourself as a shield..."

Henry gasped when his back hit the wall.

"...knowing there's nothing I can do to stop you because you can fucking bend spacetime to do it!?" Ellie poked him hard in the chest, "Do you have ANY IDEA how much I worry about you!? I can tell when it happens! I can see when God herself can't stop you! You just fucking barrel through everything recklessly because you know you can just fucking retry, but what'll you do when you can't!? How am I supposed to get this into your stupid fucking head!? How do I get you to stop treating your own life like it's worth nothing!?"

"FINE!!!" Henry stood up straight, "You want the truth, Ellie!? It's because I DON'T value my own life!!!"

Ellie stumbled back, biting her lip to prevent herself from snapping again when she noticed Henry's eyes filling with tears. Her form in his vision was blurry now, only discernible by the bright red color of her hair.

"I've seen so many people die that I can't bring back." Henry squeezed his eyes shut, and the tears fell down, "Sometimes the only way to save someone is to kill someone else. Sometimes I just have to move on without saving anyone. It's never happened to me though, I always come back after dying. I've never encountered a situation where I can move on after I've been doomed to die. As soon as my fate is sealed, even if I haven't died yet, the universe still forces me to go back, even if not sacrificing myself means that someone else has to take my place in that grave!"

Ellie looked away, crossing her arms and squeezing them tight against her body. Henry could see the way they trembled with the strain.

"And maybe I'm sick of it." Henry's voice shook with the sobs he was trying to suppress, rubbing his eyes to dispel the tears, "Maybe one day, I'm hoping the universe will just accept me back into its cold embrace and let me stop suffering through this. I can't keep watching people die, Ells, especially not you and Charles. I see those deaths in my nightmares every night and it feels like every day I just keep getting more. I don't think I'm worth all of that. I don't think I deserve to live, and the guilt won't stop eating me alive."

Ellie ran rough fingers through her bangs to tug on them, taking a few deep breaths. She didn't speak over the heavy silence.

Henry hung his head, "I don't deserve to live."

Ellie shook her head, reaching out to hold Henry's face between her hands, "It's not true, Henry. It's not you who killed all those soldiers. Failing to save someone isn't the same as killing them yourself. If there was a way, I know you'd find one. You're incredibly stubborn. You have a strong will. You don't need to shoulder the guilt of anyone's death, especially not mine or Charles."

Henry sighed, resting his forehead against Ellie's. He had to bend down a little bit to reach, he was tall compared to her.

"I still see things from other timelines sometimes." Henry threaded his fingers through Ellie's hair, gently twirling the strands, "The one I haven't been able to stop thinking about since I recalled it...it was when Charles and I went up into space to bring down the Toppat space station and..."

Ellie gave a little nod when he trailed off, "It exploded with him inside."

"And he pushed me out. I was alone in the escape pod." Henry hugged her tight, face buried against the side of her head, "He just had to be the fucking hero. He made sure I could get out even if it meant he couldn't."

"But Henry, that's you in our place!" Ellie shook him a little, "I'm always scared that your fucking hero complex will get you killed one day, and I'll hate myself for the rest of my life knowing I failed to save you..."

Henry trembled badly enough that he had to lean on Ellie for support. He was overwhelmed by the amount of love he felt from her, all the pain and frustration she was unleashing onto him by struggling not to cry and failing miserably.

She buried her face against his chest, squeezing him tight around his waist. Henry felt a heavy lump in his throat he couldn't swallow.

"Please..."

Henry looked up at the ceiling. He could feel Ellie trembling, fists grasping at the back of his hoodie to grip him tightly. She took a pained gasp, a soft little high-pitched cry leaving her throat and making Henry's heart spike painfully in his chest.

He took a moment to gather himself, and by the time he felt composed enough, Ellie had pulled back to wipe at her eyes.

"I'm sorry. I...I c-can't promise I won't be reckless anymore." Henry miraculously managed to keep his voice steady, "It's so ingrained in me that I wouldn't even know how to address it. But...I can promise that I'll try. I can make an effort."

Ellie traced Henry's ear in a circle. He winced, half expecting her to grab it and tug the way a condescending parent might, but he forced his arms to still at Ellie's sides. He didn't think she would do that.

Ellie smiled sadly at him, retracting her hand and tracing a pattern into his collarbone instead, "How long has this been going on? This whole...timeline thing? Has it been a power your whole life, or...?"

Henry shrugged, "It started after I tried to rob that bank vault in Arizona. Or...was it New Mexico? Whatever. I tried to dig under the wall and hit a gas line. I died in a fiery blaze because I used a lighter to see what I'd hit like an idiot."

"Oh."

Henry nodded, "Yeah. I thought I was dead, but before I knew it, I was back at the outside wall like nothing had ever happened, and I had no memory of the failure, except I had an aversion to the idea of digging under the wall, like I already knew it was a bad idea, but I didn't know why."

"So why do you remember now?"

"Because I had a bad dream about it later." Henry crossed his arms, fist grasping at his sleeve hard enough to bend his nails, "I didn't even know what the dreams meant until many months later. I still have normal dreams where my memories are just playing alphabet soup, but these are the same dreams every time, and they're so vivid, like I'm reliving something I've suppressed..."

"Wait. So..." Ellie gripped the front of his hoodie tight in both fists, "So this thing where you saw me die from the circular saw...you normally don't remember that shit right after it happens?"

"No! Usually it's not even the same night! It's usually weeks after it happens when I start getting dreams of other timelines, and that's at a minimum!" Henry grasped at his hair, then ran those hands down the sides of his head, "I mean...I still don't remember it that well, not as well as you'd expect a recent memory to stick out, but..."

Ellie took Henry's shaking hand between both her own, running her thumb into the back of it over and over again, "The fact that you remember it at all this recently is concerning."

Henry sighed, running his free hand down his face. It was covered in a cold sweat.

"You're afraid of seeing it." Ellie gave his hand a squeeze, "Of that eldritch thing hiding behind your powers."

Henry nodded, "And I'm afraid of losing my focus. I almost lost my nerve swinging at that guy to save you. It was lucky the mission was already over so I could at least break down somewhere safe. Can you imagine what could happen if I end up getting stuck because I'm too busy reeling from trauma? In the inbetween, I have no one to comfort me..."

Ellie tilted her head, "The inbetween...?"

"Yeah. That's where I go between choices, really just after I hit a Fail, where I choose where to go next in the timeline." Henry shrugged, "Time doesn't exist there, and I don't have any memories of being there until I return to it, when a lot of it floods back. When I leave, it's like a curtain pulls through me and I forget everything I've ever known about it."

Ellie winced, gritting her teeth, "Do I want to know why you know it's there if you have no memory of it...?"

"Well, because it has to be." Henry waved his hands in the air, trying to settle on a thought but being unable to, "Look, it's like the painting of an egg, right? Eggs are just plain white like the background, but you can still tell it's supposed to be an egg because of the shadows and reflections and the colors the artist expertly painted around the white of the canvas to give the illusion that you're looking at a real egg."

"Ah, so it's like a hole cut out of a completed picture." Ellie tapped on Henry's chest, drawing a triangle shape in the middle of his hoodie, "You don't know what's exactly supposed to be where the hole now is, but you have an idea because of the surrounding context."

"I...yeah, yeah! It's like that!" Henry smiled at her, "That's a good analogy for it."

Ellie poked Henry in the chest again, "You're a lot smarter than people give you credit for."

"Thank you." Henry's smile fell, and he anxiously rubbed the back of his head, "Anyway...I don't know, it's just so difficult to deal with, and I hate even just thinking about it. It scares me so much, and I don't know how to figure it out..."

Ellie sighed as she pressed the heel of her palm against her eye, rubbing up against her brow.

Henry opened his mouth, then closed it, wringing his hands. He tried again, but lost his breath without saying anything.

Ellie caught the second exhale, and she lifted her hand from her face to look up at him, "Do you want me to spend the night?"

Henry reached out to gently hold her wrist, and then gave it a soft tug, nodding with a distressed little whimper.

"M'kay." Ellie kissed Henry's cheek, "I'll go back to my room to grab my toothbrush and my PJs. I'll be back as soon as I can."

Henry watched her leave, the front door opening and then closing before he managed to make himself move. He left the bathroom door ajar before stripping down to get into the shower, turning the water on as hot as he could stand so his skin quickly turned tomato-red.

He'd been trying to hold it back for a long time, but he couldn't stop it now; He began to cry. He couldn't see at all through his tears, but he'd been able to shower blind for years anyway, not just because it was often dark in his childhood home from repo cutting the power, but also because he had a really bad fear of getting soap in his eyes, so he had a habit of closing them if he felt even the slightest drips down his forehead. His chest heaved with his heavy sobs, waves of tears joining the shower water as he went through the easy motions of washing himself, running entirely on autopilot until he was mostly clean.

"Sorry I took so long!" Ellie appeared through the open bathroom door, "Sam misplaced the PJs I wanted to wear! Henry?"

Henry sniffed as he lifted his head into the water stream, "I...I-I'll be fine, it's okay."

Ellie shut the bathroom door behind her, "May I join you?"

Henry looked up upon registering the question, "Oh, yeah, but lemme turn the temperature down."

"Yeah, I can see from the door that this shower is too hot." Ellie opened the glass door leading into the shower, "Even without all this steam, you're red as a lobster."

Henry glared at her, and she laughed.

Henry fiddled with the knobs, waiting for the water stream to cool down before stepping aside for her, "How's that?"

"Hmm..." Ellie closed the screen door behind her, "Fine. You know Galeforce is gonna scold you again for using up all the hot water in the building?"

"He can deal with it. I'd rather have a pay cut than feel constant muscle pain."

Henry was distracted by rinsing himself off, his eyes mostly closed in a shower full of steam, so when it all cleared and he felt safe opening his eyes again, he jumped as his face flushed hot, unable to look at Ellie without staring down her nude body. Her breasts appeared so much bigger outside of their usual bra, and it always managed to catch him by surprise.

Henry forced his gaze away, his blush rising to his ears, and Ellie laughed louder.

"Henry, you've seen me like this a million times! It's just skin!"

"I know, but..." Henry swallowed, rubbing his arm, "I f-feel like a creep..."

Ellie took a minuscule step closer to him to hug him around his waist again, and he squeaked, feeling her soft breasts against his body.

"Breathe."

Henry took a sharp breath. It came out in a whimper. Why was he so surprised by Ellie being naked in the shower? Did he expect her to step into the stream of water fully clothed? No, it wasn't that. He knew it wasn't that.

"Hey." Ellie lifted her head from Henry's chest, "It's okay. I'm flattered, actually. Don't feel bad."

Henry took another, deeper breath, and Ellie stepped back again.

He looked closer at her. Yeah, on second thought, it was just Ellie. She was attractive of course, but knowing it was okay to see her like that made it easier to just see her as a person too. She had more body hair than Henry was used to seeing on women, with dark red swathes of hair covering her legs and pubes, which trailed up her belly and a little down her inner thighs. She also had thick red sideburns, though they didn't continue far past her ears, and she had armpit hair, though it was short and only really visible when she lifted her arms up into the air.

Incredible that she was hairier than Henry, who just had pretty bad body hair genes, not that he was upset about that.

Ellie tilted her head, a soft little amused smile on her face, and it made Henry realize that he'd gone off on a bit of a tangent in his head.

"What are you thinking about, Henry?"

"Uhh..." Henry reached for her face to feel the smooth skin of her cheek, "You're trans too, right? Why do you not need to shave your face?"

Ellie shrugged, "None of the men in my family can grow a full beard without Rogaine. I only had the faintest bit of facial hair before transitioning, so of course on E, it's basically gone away. There is still some though, if you look closely."

Henry stroked Ellie's chin with a feather-light touch and found that what he thought was peach fuzz was actually some amount of facial hair. It was basically invisible though, just a little thicker and longer than you might expect peach fuzz on a woman's face to be.

Henry got out of the shower before Ellie did, naturally, so he left her under the water to brush his teeth at the sink, then wrapped his towel around his waist to go out and find something to wear to bed.

Ellie was dressed by the time she was out of the bathroom, wearing an oversized T-shirt and soft cream-colored pajama pants. Henry was still looking for something to wear when they both heard the front door lock click as it opened.

They looked at each other. Henry suddenly felt very cold.

"Who is that?" Ellie whispered.

Henry swallowed, "Th-the only other person who has a key to my room is Charles..."

They looked at each other for one more long moment before they both hurried out to the main room, where Charles was just closing the door behind him.

He winced when the other two appeared, "S-sorry...di-did I wake you? I had a nightm-mare..."

Ellie immediately gathered him up in a hug, and Henry took his hand in his, the other resting on his shoulder.

"Mmmn..." Charles whimpered softly as he rubbed his eyes, then he looked up at Henry, looking him up and down before grinning, "Hot."

Ellie snorted obnoxiously, leading into a big belly laugh. Henry felt himself blush bright red as he lifted his arms to try and self-consciously cover his chest. He'd somehow totally forgot he had breasts now and was walking around topless without even thinking about it.

Charles winced, "Oh. Sorry."

"No, it's...it's f-fine." Henry shuddered, hugging himself tightly and then turning to run back to the bedroom, "I'm gonna go get dressed."

Ellie softly began talking to Charles, but Henry didn't hear as he quickly picked an old shirt off the floor and rummaged around in his dresser for a pair of boxers. The shirt wasn't very warm. He growled as he hit the dresser. He found a different shirt, a thick sweatshirt with long sleeves, and then he found a pair of pajama pants that he was pretty sure were actually Charles' pants based on how big they were on him and how they were that bright red color Charles was so fond of. Big enough to fit those huge, muscular thighs that Henry loved so much...

Wait.

The other two joined him once he found a pair of socks to wear to keep him warm during the night, and Charles sat down beside him on the bed while he put them on.

"Henry, you know you don't have to be ashamed of being attracted to anyone, right?"

Henry looked away, "I know. It felt like...I don't know, it feels like it's not as...I don't know, exploitative? To be attracted to a guy? Because he can protect himself from another guy, but a gal-!"

"I'm going to stop you right there, Henry." Ellie gripped the shoulder of his shirt in a scarily tight fist, "I love you with all my heart, but if I let you continue, I might start yelling."

"I..." Henry twisted his fists into his shirt, "I-I know it's sexist because it implies women are weak, but it still somehow feels like...I don't know..."

"It's probably unconscious." Ellie held Henry's cheek, "You've told some pretty bad stories about your parents. How often did your mom act like you being with a girl your age was a scandal waiting to happen?"

That was a good point. Henry literally couldn't have any of his female friends over for sleepovers because he needed to "control himself," like he was a danger to them.

"It's not true, Henry." Ellie pat his knee, "You aren't a creep just for being attracted to someone. Lord knows I could take you in a fight anyway."

"I know, but I can't just-!" Henry's breath left him in a whoosh, "You can still get hurt, Ells."

Ellie pursed her lips at him, then straightened up so she was standing upright, "Hey, Henry."

"What?"

Ellie waited until he was looking at her before she lifted the hem of her shirt to flash her breasts at him.

"AH-!" Henry covered his eyes with both hands.

"Ah ah, Henry." Charles gently took one hand off his face, "Look."

Henry looked. He could feel how red his face was. God, she was so beautiful. The hair peeking out from the top of her pants and the sides of her shirt, the curve of her waist, her large round breasts filling his field of view...

Ellie chuckled, hopping a little in place so they bounced, "If this was exploitative to anyone, is it really me?"

Henry made a sour face.

Ellie smiled softly at him before letting her shirt fall back down and then leaning in to kiss his cheek again, "You're so cute."

"Elliiie!"

"If it helps, Ellie, he usually has the same reaction to seeing me shirtless." Charles offered.

"Charles!!!"

"Oh! That does help!"

Henry hid his face again, "Pleeease-!"

"Ohh, baby..." Ellie flopped down onto the bed beside him, "I'll get that shame outta you one day! It's only fun if you're just shy!"

Henry feigned hitting her, and she flinched, throwing her arms up.

"Don't even try it, boy!"

Henry huffed out a laugh, letting his arm fall, "I know."

Charles turned out the light, and the three of them snuggled up beside each other under the covers. Henry was left looking up at the ceiling, feeling lost and a little hollow. With the lights turned off, he was starting to see a bit of static in the dark like visual snow.

"Hey, guys?"

Charles hummed in affirmation, and then Ellie did.

"Do you think my powers are worth more investigation?"

Charles hummed again, though in deep thought this time.

"I think it's worth a little investigating." Ellie said as she twirled her arms around Henry's to hold it. He appreciated the contact, and the warmth.

"It's gotta be better than worrying about it so much, right?" Charles kissed Henry's forehead.

Henry didn't feel better. His view of the ceiling blurred with his tears. Every time he tried to pry his powers open to look at them, the fear shot up through his chest and seized his throat in an ironclad grip.

Maybe he wouldn't have to do it alone, though. It wasn't like he was the first person on earth with scary, unpredictable powers. If he could find someone with enough expertise, who could ease him into it, who had an approach other than brute-force...could it be possible? It was so much more tempting to keep ignoring it, but if he was going to start remembering things the moment after they happened, it would probably be a good idea to be better prepared for it next time.

"Hey." Ellie put a hand over his chest, where his heart was pounding, "Just let it go for now. We can worry about it later."

Henry took many deep breaths, trying to let it out as slow as possible to calm his raging nerves.

Just let it go. It's okay.

We can worry about it later...but not right now.

---

Notes:

If you're wondering why this Henry can't die when Val did, it's likely because even if only subconsciously, Henry does want to live. He has a strong desire to keep going, and that desire brings him back even if he wants to die a hero with a cool head. Val had reached a point of no return in his timeline, where he truly and genuinely wanted to die and stay dead. So, he didn't come back. He's dead in his timeline permanently. Bleak? This is VH baby, there is no god.

I imagine Val is in here somewhere, he's just a little...you know. Co-conscious. This could take place during that time where Val just barely started drifting in without meaning to, and his thoughts are so similar to Min's that he doesn't quite notice there's two of them yet. Maybe the voice is just a little too faint to be distinct, who knows? Look at me writing fics out of order again lmao

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 31 of Just Call And I'll Be There