Chapter Text
"Get off of me you disgusting creature!!" I screamed, kicking at the strange goblin-like creature dragging me to the front of the bar. "Stop being so bratty.." He muttered holding on to my wrist tightly. "Someone help! Get away from me you abomination! You stink!" He grumbles and ignores my kicking and fighting. "Someone get that human to be quiet." One of his friends groans as he covers his ears. It was one of the grimy Hutts who was holding me captive, he had been my master for a few months now but I needed out.
I hated working for him, he was vile and crude, and I was only a tourist to this planet. He was pulling me towards the front door and he shoved me through them and I tripped and fell into the dirt outside the bar. "I told you not to go in there and you didn't listen, this is your punishment. Rebellious scum." He mutters and kicks me in the stomach before walking away. I rolled onto my back holding my aching side when my master came back with a fiery anger. "i'm tired of you. The slave trade wasn't worth it at all. I should've known he was offering you cheap for a reason." He spat on me and I reeled back at the stench and felt bile rise in me. I spat out dirt and acid and coughed harshly.
"Get.. away from me." I choked, feeling the ache in my ribs. He kicked me right in the wounded side once again. I twisted in pain and he yanked me up to my feet. "I should teach you a lesson." He murmured and slammed me backwards into the rough wall of the bar and I crumpled back against and slid to the floor. He held a look of satisfaction and dusted off his hands. "I would take you to the trade center but nobody wants you. I'd have to pay them to take you off my hands. "Says you! Everyone hates your vile personality."
I scoff and he kicks me back in the chest. I cry out in pain holding my chest and he shakes his head. "You never know when to be quiet. You never served me any good." He watched me with hatred and turned on his heel and climbed in his pod racer and zipped away before I could insult him again.
I tried standing up but I collapsed on my side in pain. He had delivered several sharp hits to my ribs and chest, and the previous abuse hadn't helped my current health state either. I crumpled in the fetal position trying to block out the coarse sand being carried in the wind. It was hard to breathe with the current weather conditions, and my crushed ribs weren't helping me.
I lost any energy I had to stand up and accepted my fate of dying in this sand blizzard. It was getting worse, no wonder he was running away. He ditched me so maybe I finally had freedom but it might be short lived. What a miserable life this would be. I was fighting sleep, because I knew if I went unconscious, I might not wake up. I winced as something hard hit my side and my eyes fell shut in pain. I bit down on my tongue trying to hold back a scream. I clenched my fist trying to push away the pain but it never ceased.
Something warm gently grabbed hold of my arm and rolled me on my back, I yelped in pain and a smooth gentle voice responded. It hurt to breathe, and I wanted to trust this man but I was terrified. "Now it's okay. I'm not here to hurt you." I opened my eyes and looked up to see a man with short hair and a small padawan braid. A jedi? He had beautiful blue eyes and he was quite the sight. I smiled and he chuckled. "Let's get you to the ship." He picked me up and held me in my arms and shielded my eyes from the sand with the side of his brown cloak. I'm not sure if I should trust him but he was warm, kind, smelled good, and his arms felt strong and muscular.
After who knows how long I woke up in a chair facing the dashboard of a starship. I looked around in a daze searching for the padawan that rescued me but he was nowhere to be found. I stood up on shaky legs and it hurt to move but I wanted to know where I was. I walked through the narrow cockpit and found the young man, and someone older who seemed to be way stronger and he had to be a Jedi, he was dressed like one, and his lightsaber was peaking out from under his tan cloak. "Speaking of which..." He muttered and looked at the boy who saved me. "Who might you be?"
"Y/N." The man gave a nod and looked back at the other Jedi.
"This man is Obi Wan Kenobi, I hear he saved you from the storm?" Obi-Wan Kenobi.. I wonder what he goes by, does everyone say his full name all the time? Sounds like a hassle. "Yes he did, are you guys Jedi?" I pointed to the lightsabers. "Yes. I'm Qui-Gon Jinn, Jedi Master, and, This is my Padawan. Could you tell us what might've happened?" I nod and take a shaky breath and fall slightly, Qui-Gon helps me down to my seat and shows immense concern. "I uh yes. I was a slave to someone here and I hated that vile creature so he fought me a lot, and today he threw me to the ground, kicked me in the ribs repetitively, threw me against the wall, and then left me to die. Then, um Obi-Wan Kenobi saved me."
I thought for a moment if I should say his full name but decided it might be the safe route. "How are your ribs now?" Obi-Wan stood up and walked over with haste. "It hurts a lot.. like breathing and moving is bad for me.. but I'll be fine.." I wave him off but he shakes his head. "Master, what do we do?" He demanded an answer as he looked over at me. "Don't speak with such fear Obi-Wan. We can wrap her, but then she has to return to Tatooine."
"Return her? After what we heard?" He stepped back to speak to his master. "It's the law. She's a slave, we could get in lots of trouble if we took her away from her obligations." The padawan put his hands on his head, stressed and turned back to face me. "But he was abusing her, we should help her, isn't that putting others first? Surely that's Jedi code." Qui Gon took a moment of consideration. "We will allow her to stay for a while until we decide what is right. But be prepared to let her go. We must do what is right, even if it's against what you believe is just Obi-Wan." With a satisfied look the young man nodded and searched through cabinets until he found a white bandage wrap and walked over to me. "Will you let me help you y/n?" He gestured to my shirt and I slowly stood up and faced away from him as he lifted my shirt and gently wrapped my ribs with compression.
I felt his fingers graze my skin with every wrap and when he finished he secured the tape by pressing it firmly against me with his fingertips. I felt a small strike of something electric in my spine, but it felt nice, his presence was warm and calming. I've never felt something like it before. I heard Jedi like them could read my mind.. It scared me.
Think blank thoughts.. blank thoughts.. "All done. Hopefully that helps you. I'm sorry for your suffering." He nods and returns the rest of the roll to the cabinet and Qui-Gon gives a quiet nod to his padawan before leaving the room. I slowly sit down already feeling the benefits of the compression. Obi-Wan keeps his steady protective gaze on me as if he's ready to step in and help me. "Thank you Obi-Wan Kenobi. I would be dead if it wasn't for your kindness." He smiled and shrugged it off. "I did what was right. I'm glad you are safe."
"Will you make me go back?" I said with a shaky breath. He hesitated and thought for a moment. I watched him anticipating bad news. "Well, we have a mission on this planet, and once we are done we will go back to Naboo. If all goes well I may be able to convince Master Qui-Gon to allow you to join us. But for the mission you will have to stay here on the ship." He nods, clearly thinking through the process as he speaks. "Is the mission dangerous?"
"Not that I know of. Master Qui-Gon can handle everything that comes his way. I'd like to think I'm a good fighter as well."
"I've heard about the Jedi, but mainly silly rumors. Can you guys read minds?' He looks at me for a moment holding eye contact, his eyes are so pretty.. "I can't. But you should know if someone is reading your mind. I heard you can feel them inside your mind. So you won't have to worry about me searching for secrets. Master Qui-Gon can do all sorts of things, even mind tricks, he's going to teach me everything he knows one day." He shows a sense of pride just because of his mentor. It's admirable the respect he has for that man. "Are you going to be a Jedi forever?" Obi-Wan nods.
"Of course. Once a Jedi always a Jedi, at least for me of course. It's the one thing I want." He smiles and then looks around the room. "Do you have any belongings?" He says refocusing on my state. "No.. most of it was just the scrap clothes Hutt gave me.. so I don't really own much." Obi-Wan shakes his head disappointed. "What a shame. I'm sorry for all of this. Naboo is a much nicer place, you can have all the nice clothes and things you want there."
"But I won't know anybody." I say sadly. "Now now that's not true. You'll know me. Even though we just met I think you deserve better. I can help you." His eyes falter and look over me slowly and it makes my stomach flip. "That's very admirable. Thank you Obi-Wan Kenobi." He chuckles. "Why do you keep calling me by my full name?" I roll my eyes, and try to hide my embarrassed face. "I didn't know what you prefer to be called. I was too scared to ask. You Jedi are very intimidating. Sorry." I look away from him and down at my sweaty hands with a tinge of shame. "Intimidating? What? Me and Master Qui-Gon are kind and humble Jedi, we would never be angry with you. He just takes his role very seriously. But you can just call me Obi-Wan, or even just Obi too. I don't mind either way."
He shows a friendly smile and stands up to take off his robe and drape it over the chair. "Would you like tea? I'm sure that sand is messing with your throat. It dries you out." He opens a kettle and pours some into a mug. "That would be lovely." He nods and pours out another cup and hands it to me. "Jedi have it nice don't they?" I chuckle and he shakes his head. "Oh how I wish that was true. There's so many rules to abide by, and crazy missions. Not to mention there's rumors of a Sith on the rise."
I raise my brow confused. "Sith?" He pauses and then nods and begins his statement. "Yes, imagine a person in touch with the force, but uses hatred and anger as their fuel. They live to serve only themselves and attack the Jedi and innocent." He says grimly. "They have been gone for a while but Master Qui-Gon believes there is one near. I also trust his hunches. They usually end up correct." He takes a long sip of his tea and the door slides open. "Obi Wan, it's time, we must go. Y/n, stay on the ship and stay low and quiet." He nods and Obi-Wan rushes to get ready and rapidly leaves.
Chapter 2
Summary:
Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon depart on a mission and bring back guests and bitter feelings.
Chapter Text
I took the time to explore the starship for some food. The tea was refreshing but I had a gnawing hunger. Part of me worried that the Jedi wouldn’t come back, but based on what Obi Wan said about his master he seemed to have things in his control. I found some modern styled cabinets and clicked the button to open them. Inside was simple bread rations and small bits of meats and cheeses. Quite fancy for travel foods, I take one ration of each and shut the cabinets quietly. I wonder if they’re able to know what I’m doing right now. I sure hope not, first they rescue me and now I’m stealing their food. It was simple but very filling, and it cured my aching hunger I’ve had for months. I was fed just enough to stay alive as I worked to the bone. I’m incredibly grateful to have escaped.
But as the hours went by I couldn’t help but get a bad gut feeling about the Jedi being gone for so long. Would it be hours, days, maybe even weeks before they returned? Could I survive in pure silence and solitude for that long without losing my mind? I wandered the ship and found magazines from the planet Naboo. I heard about it but not much, all I know is that the infamous Queen Amidala is there. I’m not sure if I want to revisit my home planet, it was ransacked by slave traders. I walked into the main part of the ship by the entry ramp. Against the walls were lines of steel barrels full of who knows what. I could figure it out later, maybe Obi-Wan knows. Exploring deeper into the cockpit where I originally was I see a man reclined in the captain’s chair. “Who are you!” I yell scared.
“I’m the captain? For Master Qui-Gon?” He raises his eyebrow suspicious of my behavior. "Are you a smuggler? What are you doing on this ship?" He stands up and backs towards a panel reaching for something behind him. A panic set over me and I stepped forward to explain myself with my hands up. "Master Qui-Gon brought me here before they set off for their mission. I'm supposed to wait here for him and his padawan. He didn't tell me there was a captain."
The man takes a second to watch me looking for a crack in my expression before sitting back down with a nod. I turn away and exit the cockpit in a rush and go back to the main compartment of the ship. That was terrible. I find my place back where the Jedi left me and bunker down until they come back.
I need someone to talk to. After what felt like an eternity but was really 3 days, I heard the door slide open and the sound of Qui-Gon’s voice. “We’re heading back to Naboo to report our findings to the queen. This hyperdrive malfunction has set us back a number of days. But it might’ve worked out for the better. This boy has a strong sensitivity to the force, and I believe he can be a Jedi." The two Jedi walk in on me eating some cheese and crackers, but they have two more people with them. A young boy with blonde hair dressed just like the Jedi, and a teenage girl. "Good to see you again y/n." Obi-Wan nods and sits beside me.
"I missed you guys, it was so boring. Your captain thought I was a smuggler." Obi-Wan laughed at that and Qui-Gon spoke up. "Obi-Wan, Y/N, this is Anakin." The young boy looks past me and shakes Obi-Wan's hand. "Are you a Jedi too?" He says with excitement. Obi-Wan doesn't seem that enthusiastic about the young Anakin, he nods. "I am a Jedi, yes." He says blankly. Qui-Gon gives a look to Obi-Wan and then smiles at Anakin. "You have a lot of potential, I'm sure you'll do well." With that Qui-Gon takes the boy and leaves me and Obi-Wan alone again.
"You don't like Anakin?" I ask, and Obi-Wan stops staring into the void and looks back at me. "I don't have a good feeling about the whole thing. Master Qui-Gon seems so eager to have a new padawan while I'm not sure if my training is through. But he thinks I'm ready and Master Qui-Gon is usually right, so I want to trust him but I'm worried." He sighs deeply with stress and leans against his hand on the table. He's holding back his emotions, I hear Jedi aren't allowed to show them. I always thought it was a strange rule but it could be a myth. The Jedi are mysterious and most of their stories sound either mythical or tragic. "You said it yourself Obi, you seem to be a good Jedi. Maybe he's proud of you and is ready to train another padawan because you've excelled. I'm sure he's not forsaking you." Obi-Wan rubs the side of his face and nods. "Yes.. yes you're right, I'm just being overly cautious. Master Qui-Gon knows what he's doing."
"Of course. He seems very wise. Do you know what he plans to do with my situation? I'm sorry if it's a bad time but I'm very concerned that he wants me to stay here Obi-Wan." I finish off my plate of food and stand up to place it in the sink. He looks up at me as I walk back and smiles. "I think that he may bring you back to Naboo with us. However it hasn't been determined if the Jedi Council will let you stay there, you are currently a slave and it's illegal to take you from your master. But due to your condition it could be very well justified. If they have any ounce of sympathy they will let you stay." He says with bold confidence and leans back in his seat leisurely. "You're a very kind man. What could I do to repay you for your generosity?"
"Nothing, it's only the right thing to do, as a Jedi I should be helping others." He shrugs it off and stands up and walks by me and opens the cabinets searching for something. "We're leaving for Naboo right now, when we get there if you'd like you can stay with me until you find your place there. My home is small but there is room for you." He reaches for my hand and I feel the small spark again as he opens my hand and presses a small key into my hand. "Don't let Master Qui-Gon know I told you of this, but if the council denies you, I will give you directions and this key will let you inside my room. I should be made a Jedi when we get there because of Anakin, so I will have a bigger space for you instead of the dorms." He nods and takes a step back.
"Are you sure? Couldn't this put your training in jeopardy?" He shakes his head. "No. Just trust me." He sighs nervously and quickly exits the room. I stand by the counter and look at the steel key in my hand in shock. I tucked it into one of the small hidden pockets in my robe, I used it for smuggling rations back on Tatooine.
The teenage girl suddenly walked by me after and looked at me with curiosity, "Who might you be? I heard the Padawan saved your life? He seems to care deeply for you. I would like to know why." She says with a warm smile. "I'm y/n, and yah he saved me, but I'm not sure if he "deeply cares for me." But he's kind. Who are you?" She shakes her head with a knowing look. "I'm Padme, and I believe giving someone the keys to your home is a sign of admiration and care. He could be breaking Jedi code." She raises her eyebrow. "How did you know he did that? He's just treating me kindly because of my history." I try to play it off but she seems to know. "I walked in while he was doing it, that's why he left so quickly."
"Are you from Tatooine as well? How did Master Qui-Gon bring you here?" I change topics trying to distract her from her silly belief that Obi-Wan cares for me, Jedi can't have crushes, so it's impossible. "No, I'm from Naboo, I was helping them with something and now they're taking me back. I assume you are from here?" "Oh yah, then of course Obi-Wan found me but you know that part already. Do you think he will become a Jedi Knight when he gets back?" Padme shrugs. "Maybe, he has the skill but he must prove himself through the trials. Mostly show that he has control over himself and his emotions through the force. Why do you ask?" She leans forward, clearly suspicious of my thoughts on the man. "I'm curious and I have a lack of things to worry about at the moment. So I wanted to talk about something that doesn't involve me."
"Queen Amidala we're taking off now." Master Qui-Gon says behind us and it startles me to sit up. "You're a queen?" I ask surprised and she sighs. "Qui-Gon blew my cover I suppose, but I trust that y/n won't do any harm." She looks at him and he agrees against me being a threat to the group. Maybe they do like me and trust my actions here. I pray Obi-Wan is right about the Jedi Council allowing me to stay despite my enslavement. It's risky but I need help desperately, and if that means going into hiding under Obi-Wan's grace then I would do that. On a side note, I can't believe a queen is trying to set me up with Obi-Wan, or at least try to explain that he cares for me. It's kind of weird to think about really, this whole Jedi deal is a bit wild. I'm sitting with a Queen, a Jedi Master, a future Jedi Knight, and a rising young padawan, and a captain that almost killed me earlier. I don't mind the change either, if anything I love that I don't have to clean a grungy bar.
Chapter 3
Summary:
Obi-Wan Kenobi and Qui-Gon battle Darth Maul on planet Naboo, and it's y/n's job to pick up the broken pieces of Kenobi.
Chapter Text
Obi-Wan's POV
"I do believe that it was a Sith. Whether it was the apprentice or the Sith Lord, I do not know." Master Qui-Gon is deep in thought, sometimes I'm not sure if he talks to himself or me. He was attacked right before he got on the ship, he didn't want the others to be worried about the issue, but Padme seems to know everything no matter how much we try to keep undercover.
"What should we do about a Sith, do we stand a chance Master?" Qui-Gon shakes his head, "Don't underestimate your powers Obi-Wan. You exceed every Padawan in the temple. As for me, I trust that I can handle him. No reason for fear. However it would be wise to alert the Jedi Council."
"I exceed them because I'm older. I should be a Jedi Knight by now."
"Patience Obi-Wan, and soon you will be." He nods and stands up to walk around the cockpit to speak to the captain. I sit in silence to think of his words. Release your emotions into the force.. I take deep breaths and shut my eyes to tap into the force and feel peace. But something feels wrong, there's a disturbance that I cannot place, it only causes more worries.
I look back at Qui-Gon who is watching me with discernment. "We are landing. Go tell Anakin and the others." I nod and stand up quickly leaving him with the pilot. His focus always seems to be Anakin.. it makes sense, he could be the chosen one. He may become stronger than me and Qui-Gon one day, he could be essential to the Jedi. If the prophecy is true, he will bring balance to the force.
I tap on the keypad and the door slides open, Anakin is sitting beside Padme asking countless questions and admiring her. I find it kind of silly he's taken a liking to the queen, of all the people he could've wanted too. Y/n looks at me and stands up excited to see me, at least I think that's true. She radiates emotion though, every time I'm around her I can feel the warmth of her mind and heart. It's the only reason I've trusted her to stay.
"We're landing right?" She says eagerly, "Yes, why are you so excited?" I chuckle and she thinks for a moment and then sighs, "I've never been to Naboo before, and Tatooine is so bland, I heard it's beautiful here."
Padme chimes in as she leaves the young boy to pack her things. "It truly is, I hope you enjoy your time here." She says with a warm smile and then slides the door open as Anakin follows her around. "I thought I told you to stay there?" I hear as the door shuts. "I think he has a crush on her." She laughs and moves past me, her hand grazing my forearm, by accident of course, but that doesn't change my reaction. I push the soft feeling back and nod. "Yes, it's absurd. He's just a boy and it shows." I scoff.
"One day you won't hate him so much." She shakes her head. "I never said I hated the kid." I say throwing my hands up and following her into the area she had been sleeping in. It was smaller than I remembered, and I was far too close to her. "Oh please.." She sighs and makes her bed and sits back on it. That movement leaves me standing in front of her, practically between her legs. I look up at the ceiling and sigh trying to think of how to escape the situation."I need to go help with the landing." I mumble and move towards the door and her thigh grazes my quad as I leave and it nearly causes me to stumble out of the room. I catch myself on the door frame and slide shut the door behind me. I walked beside the door of the ship waiting for it to open on the ramp, with my hands in the pockets of my cloak, I stared at the floor in shame, my feelings were strong and I was lacking control of them. Falling for a rescued slave girl is insane, I should be focused on helping her, not thinking these things of her.
She could believe that I only saved her for that lustful reason. "Your feelings are strong Kenobi. I can feel them from here." Qui-Gon says behind me and a rush of embarrassment floods me.
"Just worried, that's all." I murmur and Qui-Gon shakes his head. "I've known you for far too long to believe a lie of yours. It's the girl isn't it? You've been off since we picked her up. I know you aren't scared of dueling." He chuckles and walks in front of me so I have to face him. "Master Qui-Gon, I'm not a fool, I don't have any feelings for or towards y/n. I only want her safety on Naboo, that's why I'm worried."
"You are lying only to yourself, control your emotions for we are soon to leave the ship, we will discuss what happens with the girl later with the Jedi Council. As of now, don't worry about the matter." He says firmly but almost like a father would, that's kind of what Qui-Gon is to me. He gets on to me, for my own good. If not for him I'd still be a reckless child. I've matured rapidly since he took me on as a padawan.
Sometimes I need to remind myself that I don't deserve more unless I work for it. The Jedi Masters know what is best for my destiny as a Jedi. I take a deep breath and feel Qui-Gon's cooling force bring relief and I nod and open my eyes to look at him. "Sorry Master, I had a lack of judgement." I murmur and the ship's hatch slides open. The others file behind us as we walk out to the public.
Y/N POV
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I stay close to Obi-Wan's side looking for guidance through the large crowd. "There's so many people." I whisper and hold onto the sleeve of his cloak. "Just stay close and you'll be ok." He nods and straightens back to his high stance. Qui-Gon looks over at us and then down to the small hold I have on his padawan and sighs and looks away as if he knew something. I let go of him quickly and Obi-Wan looked back at me confused with a raised eyebrow. "What is it?"
He looks up and down my face looking for an answer, "Nothing.. I can manage on my own." I fall back into my place behind him and he instantly looks over at Qui-Gon again. I can't tell what Obi-Wan is saying to Qui-Gon, but Qui-Gon doesn't seem to buy whatever his padawan is saying. Obi-Wan turns back to face me, we are to take you and Anakin in front of the council. Be prepared, they can be very harsh at times."
They walk me out to the center of the room facing multiple strangers, who are known to be Jedi Masters. They watch me, examine me closely as if I was a threat. "Explain yourself." One man says coldly. I look at Obi-Wan and he nods. "I was.. a slave.. on Tatooine, and.. it was a descendant from the Hutts." I shudder trying to explain what they did to me. "He, my master.. he held hatred within him, he took it out on me.. he.. kicked, punched, threw, and beat me in multiple other ways everyday.. and.. I was left to die, b-but the padawan saved me. He and Master Qui-Gon brought me here." I stumble over my words and stand on shaky legs.
My hands tremble at my side, but the Jedi still look at me untrusting. "You are still a slave, correct?" The same man asks. My eyes narrowed as I lifted my head and glared at the rude man. I feel anger swell in me and I try to push it back but it comes out quickly. "Yes but that doesn't matter, he wanted me dead! He left me to die- he's a cruel beast and you-" "She should be returned to Tatooine. Qui-Gon why would you allow her here?" I nearly collapse in fear. It takes everything in me to hold myself together. I take deep breaths and another Jedi speaks up. "Fear you have. Scared to go back she is." A small green creature speaks up. "She's scared but she needs to go back, she's still indebted to the Hutt family. It's illegal to take her from them."
A hologram speaks up and another Jedi agrees. "No please you don't understand, aren't Jedi supposed to do what's right? So help me, please. I can't go back to him."
I beg but receive no response. I look at Obi-Wan for help but he lowers his head, avoiding my eyes. But then, Qui-Gon walks into the middle and stands beside me. "Is it not too late to send her back? She's a refugee not a slave. Not to mention the counts of abuse she's been through. Do you think it's right to send her back to someone who tried to take her life? If you don't believe her, look for yourself."
He pulls my cloak away revealing multiple long scars, cuts, bruises and marks. The room goes silent and I look at Qui-Gon confused, why would he expose me like this? "And the bandages? What injury leads to those? As it's freshly applied." A member asks. "His murder attempt involved bruising her ribs, and potentially breaking a few, we are yet to get a medical evaluation on the refugee." He nods and I take a shallow breath trying to gather my mind. "Steady breaths, they can sense your anxiety." Qui-Gon whispers.
"Shall she stay?" He asks, and I feel all too seen. The Jedi look between each other. "We will allow her to stay while we contact the owner on Tatooine. For now her fate here is undecided. Now bring out the boy."
Qui-Gon nodded and the knot in my stomach didn't seem to dissipate. I covered my eyes holding back tears and Qui-Gon guided me to Obi-Wan. "Let's get some air." He nods and leads me outside. Once the door shuts behind us I collapse into his arms. His hand smooths over my hair and he holds me tightly to his chest. "I'm sorry. I don't understand them either." He murmurs and my tears fall onto his cloak.
"He's going to know I'm here, then he will find me or.. or demand I go back and then he'll, he'll try to kill me! I know he will, Obi-Wan, please do something, please save me from him." I beg out of fear. "I won't let it happen. I promise, you'll be safe here, I'll protect you. You can hide with me." He says calmly comforting my shakiness.
"I'm so scared." I mumble. "Don't be, fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and hate leads to suffering, that's what Yoda tells me at least." He smiles trying to make light of something. Slowly my trembling slows and I give in to his warm embrace with a soft sigh. It feels like something warm is seeping out of him and into me, is this what the force feels like?
He pulls away and so does that feeling, he keeps his hands on my shoulders and smiles. "Feeling better? You're smiling." I nod wiping away the last few cries and nod. "Yah you did something but it worked I think." He tilts his head to the side and looks like I said something insane. "I didn't do anything.." He murmurs. "Yah you did, there was this weird feeling it was like warm and felt like air flowing through me, just now it happened. That was you wasn't it?' He nods, "It must've been my lack of control over the force. I apologize. Master Qui-Gon has been attempting to resolve my control over it and my feelings."
"I wasn't upset about it, I thought it was comforting. Why fix it?" His hands slide off my shoulders and he crosses his arms. "Jedi must have control over feelings and the force or it can lead to falling to the dark side, control over yourself means everything. I didn't have control of the force because I was emotionally focused on your suffering. Suffering leads to the dark side." He nods almost like he's convincing himself. "How confusing." I mutter.
Qui-Gon walks out with Anakin and looks at Obi-Wan questioning him. "They are uncertain of Anakin, but I will train the boy." He pats the shoulders of the kid and smiles at Obi-Wan. "But I'm still your padawan. You surely can't train both of us." Obi-Wan looks upset, but he reigns himself back in, he's working on control again.
"You are to go through the trials. The council agrees you are ready to become a Jedi Knight. I told you to be patient, and here is your opportunity. As of now, take Anakin and y/n to the Jedi Temple, something has come up. I feel a disturbance in the force." He says gently guiding Anakin to follow us. "Ok. I'll find you back here right?"
"Yes. We will have some men and their leader. We have a guest." Qui-Gon grins.
Chapter 4
Summary:
Pure agony and grieving I fear. Obi-Wan can never be happy..
Chapter Text
Obi-Wan's POV:
"When will you be back?" She asks, holding onto my arm, she's still at an emotional high, it's still weighing heavy on her. I had ten more minutes until Qui-Gon wanted me back at the meeting area. I'm not sure when they will make me a Jedi Knight but they are treating me like one at this point. Obi-Wan wants Anakin to be trained as quickly as possible. The older he gets without training the bigger the setback.
I wasn't sure if I was ready to be a Jedi Knight, but I was old enough surely. Mentally I still felt shaken, maybe it was the situation I'm in causing it. I haven't gotten much sleep from the mission so maybe it was the exhaustion causing my doubt. It couldn't be y/n causing my stress, she makes me happy, but that also makes me scared to lose her. "Obi Wan?" She squeezes my arm and I look back down at her. "Sorry I was.. what did you say?"
"When will you come back to me?" She says softly, but the worry she holds inside her is falling onto me, I can feel it radiating off of her. "A few hours. It's only a duel, don't be afraid. They assigned me and Master Qui-Gon for a reason. Nothing bad will happen to you or us. Can you trust me?" Her hand slides from my arm to my hand and then to her side. She sighs and shows a weak smile.
"I know. Maybe I'm just being dramatic. Sorry."
"It's ok. I'll see you soon. Remember to not let your fear take control of you. May the force be with you." I hug her one more time and wave goodbye to Qui-Gon's new padawan. I found Qui-Gon standing by with the men and seemed free from worry. I stand beside him and he gives a short nod before walking forward. As the door slides open to reveal someone in a black cloak. "There's our guest. Prepare your mind Obi-Wan." He nods and we walk forward surveying the Sith.
Qui-Gon begins the fight and it's intense and hard to keep up with, I join in when I can but get separated by a red set of laser barriers. I'm too far behind to assist him, but at least he's separated from the Sith. He sits calmly meditating and I struggle to control my breathing, I can't fall under pressure now. Master Qui-Gon is a master of the force because of his mind. I will be able to control myself like him, I must. I try to touch into my force and find control. Slowly the waves rush over me and I feel the force radiating off of the Sith, it's sick and dark, but it's being battled by Qui-Gon's positive waves of power. The barriers fall and I sprint to join him but I'm separated again by one layer. They make it back to the main beams, and their duel continues.
Until his guard slips. I watch helplessly as the red beam strikes through his core. I nearly dropped to my knees at the sight. I feel my stomach lurch, and my body fills with anger. Qui-Gon takes one more look at me as he falls and the red saber is harshly ripped out of his stomach. My mouth drops open and my body trembles with a pure hatred for this wretched Sith. Control yourself.. take control of the emotion, push it off. I repeat but it only fuels it. The layer drops and I'm blinded by it.
Swing after swing gets more and more offensive than a defense. The hits are aggressive and passionate as each strike sets the evil man off balance. The only thing I can see is him, and the only thing I hear is the buzzing and strikes of our lightsabers and the loud beating of my heart as it rushes through my eardrums with a rush of blood. But then I lose my balance, and my lightsaber is knocked into the abyss with myself. I catch myself on the small stone in the wall and watch my saber disappear. How can I defeat a Sith with no saber, as I hang over hundreds of feet in the air. I hear his steps slowly get closer and he looks down at me with a smile. His wretched face is red and black, and his dark force messes with my mind. I look up and can only think of one way to kill him.
I use the force to spring up and out of the pit and draw my master's saber into my hand and cut the Sith in half. I watch with a ting of pleasure as he disappears into the deep cavity in the ground. But then the feelings of anger flood out from me, quickly replaced with grief as I rush to join my master's side. I pull his head up and into my lap and look for some way to save him.
"Master, Master!" I look into his eyes and he sighs. "It's too late. It's too-"
"No." I choke out holding back my tears. "Obi-Wan, promise me.. you'll train the boy." He says weakly as he loses his life. I watch helplessly as life dissipates from his eyes. "He.. is.. the chosen one.. He.. will bring balance. Train him." I nod, "Yes master. I'll give you my word." And then, his body goes limp in my arms.
Y/N's POV:
Attending the funeral might've been one of the worst things I've ever done. The whole planet was deep in grieving, and Obi-Wan was focused on suppressing his emotions, so much so he refused to talk about it to anyone, including me. He was buried in grief, and refused to let it show. He only had two goals, suppressing his grief, and training Anakin. I couldn't help it either, the Jedi council seemed to forget about my issues as the galaxy was quickly falling under pressure after the death of Qui-Gon. He had spoken a few words to me, and found me a new place to live. I began working with the Jedi, not training to be one, but just helping with medical. It's something I've been good at, and since I can't be a Jedi, I wanted to help them. I decided to be able to do something about the death and loss of Jedi.
8 YEARS LATER.
While the republic was beginning to falter, I had solidified myself as one of the top medics for the Jedi. I made a decent life on Naboo and had a guest spot in the Jedi Temple, but I needed to travel a lot, and while I didn't fight on the front lines, I hung back on the carriers to help the wounded. The deaths were many, and it hurt to see the people I recognized from Naboo coming back dead, or not coming back at all. But something that made me feel bittersweet was I never saw Kenobi come through the medical carrier. While I'm glad he wasn't injured, I missed him. For all I knew the reason he hasn't come through was his death. But people would talk about it, I would feel it if he died, something in me believes I would feel the shift in the world if he died. I've never used the force but I always felt his.
Many nights I wondered what he may look like now. He was now a Jedi Knight and was most likely far more mature and skilled in his work. Would he look very different, or be like a whole new man, with a new personality? Would he still be the caring man full of love that I met all those years ago? I wanted to know desperately, it kept me up sometimes. I never will know why I am so sad about a man I only knew for a week or so.
"Y/n focus please. We need a diagnosis." The head doctor looked over at the Jedi on the ground before me. It took a matter of seconds to see what was wrong. He was hit in multiple areas, and his eyes were hazy due to trauma shock, possible future PTSD case. "Blaster shot in the shoulder, side, and neck, with proper treatment he will live, future risk of trauma disorders." They nod and carry him into the surgery room and I sit back in my chair exhausted as the queue of injured are gone. I put my head in my hands and tried to find peace, they had given me lessons on how to escape the nightmare this job was in the few moments of rest I could achieve. It hardly worked, but it helped slightly.
Deep breath in.. and out.. and in.. push it away. "Shit just get out of my head.." I beg as the images of wounded flood through me. "Y/n." Someone says and I take a deep sigh and wipe my face with my hands and look up. My one moment of peace, interrupted. "Yes?" I say trying to save face. "A soldier needs tending too. The nurses don't know what to do, they believe he is dying." One of the girls I've been training asks desperately and full of fear.
It's almost like a padawan system but I don't mind being her mentor. "Of course. Take me to them Selah." I slowly get up ignoring the aches in my muscles, and follow the girl back into the cots. I kneel beside a soldier who was struck with a lightsaber, they cut a lengthy scar into his side.
I examined the wound and the soldier was gasping for air, but was coughing up blood instead. "Help!" He chokes and I shake my head. "Hey it's ok, you'll be okay I promise, think good thoughts, what will you do when you go home?" I inject painkillers into his side and a soft smile creeps up. "Maria, I'll see her, and my kid.. we'll go somewhere- something- nice.. I miss them.." He coughs and then stills in his cot. My trainee stifles a cry and runs out of the room. I stand up, hollow and numb to the grief, I've had to feel it for years.
Maria will be devastated, I knew her, a helper to Queen Amidala, her husband was highly ranked, I was shocked he was admitted. I found myself in a moment of silence in one of the corners of the carrier. And I break, I can't suppress my cries any longer. The numbness fades away and all that is left is pain. A warm hand falls onto my shoulder, "I'll handle it later!" I snap and keep my head down. "And you don't need to handle anything y/n. Relax." That.. sounds all too familiar.. no. I cover my ears and try to control myself. "Give me just one minute of rest please." I cry trying to hide my shame.
Hands gently pull my palms away from my face and hold them, he drops to his knees in front of me and looks up at me. My mind falters, and my eyes are lying to me. Have I seriously reached the point of hallucination? "Y/n, please listen to me." His voice seems to heal something in me, I blink and try to snap out of my mind but he doesn't disappear. His hair has grown out since he was a padawan. His auburn hair grew longer and strands streaked over his forehead, while he looked older and matured from war, his eyes were still bright blue, and showed genuine care and gentleness.
"Obi-Wan?" I gasp and look over him for injuries. "I- I'm sorry.. what are you- how?" I stutter and my body trembles as I'm overwhelmed with sadness, but now confusion as well. He gives that same soft smile and brushes his thumb over the back of my hands gently. "I was injured.. They just brought me aboard an hour ago. They cleared me, I was ready to go back out but I saw you here." My eyes flicker over him for injuries, but he pulls my attention back to his face. "You always worried about me. But now is not the time. You need rest y/n, you've stretched yourself far too thin. Relax." He lifts his hand and hovers over my face, "Can I? It will help you I promise."
I have no clue what he wants from me, but I let him do it. "Close your eyes, focus on breathing. Clear your mind." I shut my eyes and do as he asks, pushing away the haunting images of the years, where I falter, but something takes over and does it for me. I feel something calm and a soft heat mixing with my thoughts. "What is this?" I whisper. "Don't speak, only feel." A voice calls out from inside my head. I want to panic but something tells me I'm at rest with it. The voice whispers calming remarks and gentle reminders to breathe. He even mentions how much he missed me, and with that all the pain and stress falls away from me. "Open your eyes. Do you feel at rest?"
I slowly pull my eyes open and look at him with a smile. I feel joyful, and nothing seems to weigh on me, I feel like I'm floating through pure peace. "Yes, but.. what did you do?" He stands up and looks at me with a grin, "It's something I recently learned. But don't worry about it, you were under so much pressure, I'm sorry I contributed to it." He folds his arms in his cloak and looks around the aircraft. "How did you know?"
"I was in your mind, I felt it. I apologize, I hope you find peace while I'm gone." He nods and starts to walk away, I reach out for his sleeve.
"Wait, that's it? You're leaving me now?" My voice cracks with desperation. "Y/n please, don't let me put you back into misery and stress. I must go back to the fight." "You left me for 8 years! Will you do that again?" I hugged him tightly hoping he could stay. "I don't know." He murmurs. "Please just stay. You.. you can talk to me right? With the force, it was in my head right?" "I can only do that if I'm near. I'm sorry but I must go." He whispers into my hair as he hugs me. "Please no, Obi-Wan.." "Time for departure." A pilot walks in giving a sharp look to him and Obi-Wan squeezes me one last time and then steps away and through the departure gate. "Obi-Wan please.." I whisper, he turns and gives one last goodbye as the door shuts, and I quickly crumple back on the bench. "I'll be back, don't cry over me please, I can feel your pain from here and I hate that I caused it."
Chapter 5
Summary:
Continued suffering.. but at least time flies.
Chapter Text
I laid in my bed praying for just two hours of sleep and while nobody came to bother me, my mind wasn't where it should be, all I could think about was Obi-Wan. I became so dependent on him when he first found me all those years ago, and I haven't been able to do that with anyone else. I feel like that's the only true reason it hurts so much to see him. I should ask the mental analysis council, they did studies on the soldiers and then used the information to help them recover. But I would never have time to see them at this rate, Selah would be knocking on my door any minute now. Not to mention we seem to be running out of supplies, it's bittersweet for me. I get to go back to Coruscant and receive a day of rest, but that also means many soldiers have to go without medicine for two days.
But I needed the sleep more than anything, I'm not sure how much longer I can go mentally and physically. Obi-Wan's appearance fulfilled and drained me at the same time. As horrible as it may sound, I hoped he was injured just enough to stay longer. But when I checked the files he was here for the mental council, and a blaster shot grazed his thigh, he was forced to come here. But as for the mental conditions, I didn't know what they were, as I didn't have access to the files. He must've gotten better at controlling his emotions because he didn't seem to have any issues. It makes me feel self-centered when I was crying to him, as if he wasn't fighting for his life just moments ago.
I cover my eyes with my hands and try to focus on my breathing. I wanted to simulate what he did earlier, but I don't have the force like he does. They slip away for a moment but then come back after a few moments of peaceful silence.
To my surprise I fell asleep, and no nightmares plagued me. The only thing that annoyed me was the faint knocking on my door and the swish it made as it slid open. I turned on my side and looked towards the door to see Selah nervously approaching me. She was small for her age, and struggled with anxiety. It was my goal to help her overcome it, she had gotten a lot better but she still faltered at times. "Sorry.. but there is another soldier who needs surgery. His hand is gone, he's on painkillers but they'll be wearing down at some point. I- I don't know how to do the procedure." She mumbles and I wipe my tired eyes and get out of bed glad I was able to get a little bit of rest.
I followed her into the small sectioned off area made for risky procedures and I gathered the tools to prepare the arm for a prosthetic. We don't have the piece on ship so he would have to wait until we got back to Coruscant. So for now it was stopping it from infection. I cringed slightly at the sight of the arm, but I made sure to keep my mind steady. "Selah come closer, I need you to hold this while I work." I hand her a set of tools as I work on disinfecting the wound.
The procedure was a success and the pain would subside for now, but I set his arm so most of the pain would be numb. I make rounds through the cots while Selah gets the soldier reset in his bed.
BACK TO CORUSCANT
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I stepped off the ship as droids worked to get the injured to the medical facility and took the dead to the funeral site. I tied my hair up in a bun to make it look somewhat presentable as I was supposed to meet with Queen Amidala to report the tallies. I pulled my cloak tight over my body, I didn't look the best because of the constant exhaustion, and regularly forgot to eat or couldn't because of my nausea. I was weak, each step felt like a war, and my mind was foggy but I needed to let the queen know of the harsh conditions.
I walked into her office and she stood and I bowed to greet her. "How have you been?" She said walking around to sit in a cushioned chair and gestured for me to sit across from her. "It's been hard, but I saw my old friend Obi-Wan, he did something to clear my mind but then had to depart back to the frontlines." I nod and fold my arms and lean back in the seat falling into the soft padding. "You guys were very close back in the day. I know it was only for a few days but it seems you still care about him deeply. How long has it been since you met on Tatooine?" I shake my head and sigh, "Too long. Nearly 8 and 1/2 years. But this meeting isn't about you, it's about the tallies, the war. We have 47 wounded, and 23 dead. 3 need critical surgeries, and we're running low on supplies."
She nods and writes down the notes. "I heard Maria's husband has died. She doesn't know yet, I'll have to break the news later today. She will not handle it well so I may request a mental medical member to stay back as most of them are with you." She says grimly. "I'm sorry, I did all that I could for the Jedi Knight, it was a lightsaber wound, we're not sure how he got it though. Most likely friendly fire, hopefully by accident, but he was in no pain when he died, he only spoke of his family." I sigh and look out the window as I try to keep my mind off of the death.
"Go get some rest, it's clear you need it. It's been weighing heavy on you. Feel free to contact the therapy team. I hope you find peace in your day off." She nods and I stand to leave but pause to look back at her and sigh, "Do you.. do you know where Obi-Wan might be? Or if he's ok?" Padme smiles, "I can tell you care deeply for him, but I have not been told the location or state of General Kenobi. I wish I could tell you."
"It's ok, I'll make sure to say bye before my departure tomorrow morning." I nod and walk back to my quarters.
While I didn't get a full night of sleep, I felt well rested and felt a bit of happiness. I woke up Selah and we went to gather the supplies and set them out for the droids to load onto the carrier. It was nice picking up some clean clothes, I showered and scrubbed all the events of the past weeks away and for the first time in a while I felt refreshed. Maybe I could get through this, something just felt so much better inside me after Obi-Wan was in my head. I wonder if he planted something or took something out. Either way I felt better about some of the issues I had to face.
"Selah make sure everyone is accounted for on the ship and then we can head out, Zariyah will be staying here to help grieving families, we had a few big losses this time around. So there should be 24 staff members.' I flip through a chart and then hand her it with a pen and send her out. "That's a big responsibility, are you sure you trust me with it?" She says looking over the names. "Of course, you're my apprentice for a reason. I'm proud of you, so go on, you've got this." I pat her back and she's practically beaming with pride in herself. She rushes onto the ship and I stop by Padme's office to say goodbye and then join the crew on the ship.
2 YEARS, 3 MONTHS LATER:
"73 Deaths. 95 injured." I say grimly and stare down at the floor. Things have gotten worse day by day. I was being moved off of the carrier to stay on Coruscant to help with major surgeries, Selah had been put in my place and worked under the medical head of the ship. This would be my last report of fatalities to Padme from the carrier trips, and I was very happy about that. While I would handle more stressful jobs, I'd at least be able to sleep in my own bed.
Today Anakin was lying on the examination table. His hand had been severed from a fight with a rising Sith. He had grown up quite a bit but was still a padawan, I could tell by the small braid. Obi-Wan arrived with him but he hadn't visited me yet. Anakin told me he was hurt but said Obi-Wan swore he didn't need my care. Yet I still found myself wishing he did, as bad as it was, I missed him. "He sliced my hand clean off. I can't even feel it." He groans and looks down at the cut off. "It's ok we already have the mechanical replacement, it will feel no different, just a bit cold." I bring in the surgical droid and set it to begin work on his arm. The anesthesia medication was setting in so he would wake up with a new hand. His records show that he is 19 now, time truly does fly by.
He woke up groggy and cranky but didn't seem to be in pain. He was cleared and left medical quickly. While I only had a few days to see Obi-Wan, it would be rare. I have a feeling he is avoiding me, so the plan is to find him at the meetings hosted to discuss the outcome of battles.
Chapter 6
Summary:
While seeing Obi-Wan has it's advantages it also brings stress.
Chapter Text
"I'd like to be at the meeting if that's ok, Queen Amidala." I stand in front of her door and she looks up from her journaling. "You want to attend boring conferences? Be my guest." She laughs, "Why do you want to be there?" She folds her hands over her notepad and invites me in to take a seat. "I think they could be helpful." I say trying to convince her and myself that's the only reason I want to sit in. "Helpful how? We simply discuss things you may already know. Would you like to report the tallies there?"
"Ok, I just think there are benefits of getting to know the people there. I could learn from them." I smile and I'm glad I finally came up with a reason to sneak into the conference, but my joy doesn't last long. "The people? You mean General Kenobi right? I doubt you know many people there, except for Kenobi of course." She gives a sly smirk, how does she read every emotion I have so well? Another thing I only mentioned Obi-Wan once 2 years ago, how could she recall that conversation now? It's absurd how intelligent she is. It often makes me agitated, but I learn a lot from her wisdom. I blush and look away from her eyes with embarrassment. "Yes he will be there.. Anakin mentioned it to me. But he's not the only reason.." I mutter. "You can go. I'll arrange the seating for you as well." She winks and scribbles something down as I rush to leave her knowing gaze.
The next morning I followed Padme into the meeting hall, a large room with a circular table with soft luxury chairs surrounding it. A few of the seats held the holograms of some Jedi and leaders, but for the most part it was a bit empty. Padme directs me to sit beside her and my name holder is pointed towards me, as I look at the tag beside me, I notice in bold, "General Kenobi." I cover my face and laugh, "I see you've noticed the seating chart?" She grins. "We haven't talked in 2 years Padme, this is insane. A seating chart? He's going to know I care for him." I sigh and tap on his tag. "Well if you keep speaking so loudly of him, the whole galaxy will know you fancy the Jedi. But you are the only one with an assigned seat, and it just so happens to be beside him." I roll my eyes and rest my chin in my hand and wait in boredom for him to arrive. "All you have to do is break down the medical side of things when someone asks. The rest of the time you can spend cuddling up to Kenobi." She whispers and I jerk back, "Don't say such things, Jedi can't date.."
"Jedi can't what?" Someone says behind me and I turn in shock. Oh he's so much more handsome, his wavy hair is long and runs down the back of his neck into a mullet, and the front is parted down the middle, he's grown out more facial hair into a beard and mustache, and I hate to admit that it suits him very well. He looks down at me with an amused grin and moves to take his seat, but his eyes stay glued to me. "We were arguing over if Jedi can actually date, y/n was curious." Padme nods at the Jedi. "Hm. Well technically we can't. But Anakin has formed a different opinion on the rule. So reckless of him." He shakes his head and leans back in his seat, his legs spreading out under the table. My eyes travel over his body, he's matured mentally but also physically. He's gotten bigger legs, broader shoulders, and firm hands with small scars over them, he's been in warfare and it shows in how he's grown. He's 35 now, only a few years older than me, but the levels in our emotional state are drastic. His training certainly plays a major role in that.
"Anakin isn't dating." Padme says quickly. "I suppose not." Obi-Wan taps his fingers over his forearm and turns his chair to face me. "It's good seeing you again y/n. I hope that you didn't miss me too much." I cringe at the thought of our last interaction, but I needed him back then, and maybe that hasn't changed just yet. I want him to do what he did again, to go in my mind and heal every thought I have. "I got over it.. you've changed quite a bit since the last time we met." I gesture to his face and hair. He raises his eyebrow, "Is that good or bad? I haven't had much time to take care of my hair." He sighs combing his hand through it, "No no you look really good, I like it. You've grown a lot." I pat his arm and I swear I see him blush but he quickly brings it back. "You've become quite beautiful yourself. How have you been lately? I hope you aren't as stressed as before." Did he just call me beautiful? I smile and look down at my hands in an attempt to hide from his lovely blue eyes. "I've gotten better. Did you do something, like when you were in my head? I've felt so much different since. More calm."
"No, I only showed you how to clear the negative thoughts from your mind. It's a Jedi Meditation routine. You’re a bit force sensitive, that's the only reason it worked." He turns to face the middle of the room as the meeting begins and it only leaves me to wonder about how I never knew I was sensitive to the force. I could've been a Jedi.. how much more different would my life have been if I knew how to use it? But if it is only a little then maybe there was a reason I wasn't found to be a Jedi initiative in the temple. I suppose it's too late now. The meeting carries on and I still feel that soft warm buzz from Obi-Wan, I wonder if he does that on purpose? Sometimes it feels like he's testing me with it, I worry he can read my mind at times.
OBI-WAN'S POV:
I felt her looking at me, but I didn't know what to do about it. I wasn't sure if I could look back at her without her knowing. I really wanted to admire her. I haven't seen her in a long time, and the carrier ship encounter doesn't count, she was crying and I wasn't really able to look at her because I was in her mind. But when I first saw her in this light, it took my breath away truly. She found herself here, she never stood up for herself when I first met her, but now here she is, sitting in on one of the most important meetings in Coruscant. I had a tinge of pride for her.
"My medical team is crumbling! Not to mention what the medical ships are going through, it's hell on the carriers and they need help. Stop forsaking my crew and show them some much deserved grace." She stands as she yells with a fire inside of her burning with passion in her statements. Padme reaches out and puts her hand over y'n's as a small sign to reel it in. "I apologize for my harsh tone but we are trying our best." She slowly takes a seat and sinks back into a state of calmness. But I can sense the buzzing anxiety in her, the same as all those years ago when she was standing with the Jedi Council. I pull my seat closer to her and she looks over with parted lips.
"Good job." I nod. "Oh please. I just yelled at the most important people in the galaxy, including you." I cover the back of her hand with mine, "For a just cause. What you did was right in my eyes. However, remember to keep control over your harsh emotions y/n, it will help you for the future when times are much harder than these." I brush my thumb over her knuckles and then pull away once more. Her emotions betray her, her mind is running wildly. "You're always so wise, it isn't fair. Do you ever mess up? I feel like you follow the Jedi code perfectly, but you've faltered before? You just seem far too perfect." She whispers as another person rants about the conditions of the warfare on the outer-rim.
I look at her closely, finally taking in the chance to admire her beautiful features. I look away in an attempt to push back the rush of admiration, or maybe something deeper. "I..I don't know what to say." I look away from her to stare straight ahead as I speak to her. "But, I will say that.. I have broken the jedi code before. I'm not a perfect man y/n. You just don't see the times I mess up, yet you caught a glimpse of it when I was a padawan. I was quite reckless." I laugh and she smiles. "I remember, you never liked that Anakin boy. I seen him, he told me you were hurt, why didn't you stop by?" Her fingers graze over my shoulder as she jokingly hits me. I shake my head and attempt to ignore the soft touch. "I would never want to waste your time with a mockery of an injury."
"Well what happened?"
"I just fell from a bit of a height, fell wrong on my arm. Just sore that's all. Anakin is just always worried over small things." I sigh and pat my shoulder trying to prove it doesn't hurt but just end up wincing, proving myself wrong. "What a liar!" She scoffs. "It's just sore, that's not worth your time now is it? I imagine you have enough whiners on your hands, you wouldn't want me there now would you?" I look back at the movie of a meeting happening in front of me. Someone appeared to have flipped a chair. "I would love you being there, no matter the whining. You bring a sense of calm in the storm."
"All I bring you is stress, don't say such things." Her flattery is getting to me, I must shut it down or my emotions may betray myself. "I have far more stress when you aren't here Obi. I worry about you, the frontlines are life-taking." Her fingers tap on her thigh with nervousness, I hate feeling her worry and stress. "I told you not to worry about me, you never listen." I pat the back of her hand with a small push of the force and she quickly relaxes in her seat, shutting her eyes for a small second. "You did it again." She murmurs. "Did what?" I hover my hand over hers, questioning whether to hold her hand or not, but I ultimately decide not to. Don't get attached..
"Nothing, I'm just tired, maybe I'm feeling things."
"Well what are you feeling?" I shift closer to her and our knees press together, but she doesn't push away. Her fingers drum faster against her thigh, she's anxious, maybe hiding something, I observe her for a moment and then look back at her eyes. "I want to feel it again Obi-Wan, that day in the carrier, you did something, I can feel it slightly now but I don't want to feel this way right now, you fix me." She whispers frantically with a source of fear. I rest my head in my palm, she really shouldn't be speaking of this with people around. I'm not sure what the council would think of me messing with the woman's mind.
I sigh and think for a moment, running a hand through my hair trying to think of how to handle this. I only worked in her mind for a few moments, has she become addicted to it off of the short time? How is that possible? Surely there is some other reason for the sudden need for it, I've been in the mind of others with mind tricks but they never craved it. They often avoided me afterwards. Her hands grasp my arm and she looks at me pleadingly. "Please Obi-Wan, just 5 minutes, or even 2.."
I reluctantly give into her begging, maybe she truly needs it. There's no way to know what is inside her mind, it could be haunting her, maybe she just needs help. "Not here y/n. I'll find you after the meeting but we'll have to find somewhere private." Her fingers trail off my arm and she nods. "Sorry, I thank you. I'll focus now." She looks back up at the meeting and keeps her eyes forward.
Somewhere private, I'm not sure where to take her. But I couldn't be seen alone with her, people would only assume that a Jedi is courting the medical lead. But whatever the case, I'm worried to see what she's holding onto in her mind, and part of me wants to know if she thinks about me as much as I think she does.
Chapter 7
Summary:
Finding a happy place with Kenobi.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
"You two didn't seem to be paying much attention." Padme teases as I walk out of the hall with Obi-Wan. There wasn't much distance between me and him, my hand brushed over him every once in a while, and for some reason it always caught me up. Padme was walking slightly ahead of us, but still kept her eyes on me. "He kept distracting me.." I poke at his arm and he rolls his eyes. "Now you shouldn't blame others for your shortcomings dear. Accountability is key." He folds his arms in his robes.
"General Kenobi isn't lying, you tend to blame others, one time you blamed poor C-3PO for stubbing your toe y/n." She tilts her head to the side and grins as she embarrasses me in front of the Jedi. "I did no such thing! C-3PO tried to trip me, I dodged, and in result hurt my foot. That was his fault."
"Nevertheless, you need to focus more often. You are fun to mess about with, but I need to go attend to more bills and paperwork. The senate is relentless these days. You two have fun with your reunion.." She pats my shoulder and turns the corner to her office. "Where would you like to go y/n?" He turns the second Padme disappears and I look up at his deep eyes. Finding somewhere private wasn't an easy task, but if I could sneak him inside my room, and keep my droid out doing something. "Just follow me." I say stepping out from the wall and back from his chest to walk towards my apartment.
We walk through the empty halls of the Jedi Temple and make our way to the exit. Many of the members in the debrief had more work to do, and quickly went to their offices, it made things far easier to slip through the door, and outside to a balcony. "Show me where to go, I'm a bit clueless." He steps behind me, "I finally know something you don't. This is shocking." I grin and lead him past a few doors until we reach the back door to my place.
I pull it open and invite him inside, he seems to question it at first but after a brief moment of consideration he steps inside. I watch as he looks over my place quickly, before taking off his robe and hanging it up on the rack. "Make yourself at home." I nod and he walks through the kitchen towards my living room.
"Come closer, I need to speak with you." He says, taking a seat and fixes his hair as I sit in front of him on the coffee table. Obi-Wan's shoulders relax with a sigh and he holds his head in the palm of his hand, leaning against the arm of the black leather sofa. "Is something wrong Obi?"
He smiles at the nickname and shakes his head. Relief rushed over me, I was worried for a second. "I- I know that you want me to work in your mind, but you can't become dependent on it. I've taken.. a risk.. to be here. If they know I'm doing this here with you it could be quite the controversy." The Jedi seems conflicted, and I don't want to be selfish but I've never needed anything more than him fixing me. "I won't, just this once is ok."
I know that's a lie, but I may have to put this in the past after today. "Ok.. can I?" He stretches out his hands, one to hold my hand and the other hovering in front of me. I shut my eyes, and quickly follow his words. Because to be honest, I've craved this for years, sometimes it was all I wanted. "Relax y/n. Your emotions are high, reign them in."
Kenobi's voice flows through my mind, penetrating every thought I had. His fingers press into my palm gently running circles over me. "I'm very proud of you, everything you've done, it's shown you've matured in every aspect. Very kind and caring."
I felt a wave of pressure release from inside me, and my body relaxed completely. I focus on slow breaths, and a blurry vision slowly forms in front of me. I look on to see myself sitting on the ship with Kenobi as a padawan drinking tea as he attempts to soothe my pain from the master. "What are you doing now?" I whisper and receive no response for the first few moments of the vision. "Learn to speak through your mind, stay concentrated on what you feel."
I focus on the waves of emotion moving through me trying to touch into the force as the images play through my mind. Vision Kenobi begins to move and speak, it's all so confusing, but I find comfort in it. "I'm hurt deeply by the pain you've felt. Not just today, but I'm sorry for everything." I reach out for him and it's like I can feel his haze. "Don't be sorry. It was never your fault."
The vision blurs out and I'm standing in the carrier, and instead of seeing Obi-Wan leave, he stays beside me on the ship holding me tight as I cry about how much I missed him. "I wish I could've stayed, but I hope that now when you look back on this day, it feels more positive after what I've done." His voice echoes, and he feels like my only support at the moment. I would throw away everything I have to stay with him, at this moment. "Will you leave again soon? I know you said in a few days but.. you can stay longer.. Please, I've missed you and I feel empty without you." The words slip out before I can control my feelings and he reels back and his force leaves me quickly. I gasp at the shift in myself and steady myself against the table with deep breaths.
He seems far more tired than before we began. Obi-Wan doubles over his fingers running through his now messy hair and sighs deeply with stress, small beads of sweat trail down his temple, and I feel like I messed up. "Did I do something wrong, I drained you didn't I?" Reaching out carefully I massage the side of his shoulder as he collects myself. His muscles tense underneath my palm, and his body radiates with the warm buzz I felt just in my mind. "Obi- I'm sorry. I won't ask this of you again." He takes short panting breaths and that makes him look up at me with a pure look of desperation.
The strands of his hair hang over his forehead, and I can see the hint of exhaustion in the lines of his face. "No... no.. I just.. y/n do you.. do you love me?" He says quietly as he rests his elbows on his knees. I falter and nearly stumble back, he must've felt it, the overwhelming emotions I had for him. Maybe that's what made him snap out of my consciousness. I lean back, pulling my hand back from his tense shoulder. "I apologize, I never should've asked you that." He coughs and falls back into the couch exhausted.
I stand and walk around my apartment and get out a platter of protein and bread for him. I fill a glass of water and set it in front of him and Kenobi gives a nod of gratitude and eats slowly, testing the waters. "You've gotten better at the mind thing. But what happened that made you drained like this?" Slowly taking a seat next to him my hand falls to his forearm trying to comfort him, but again his arm flexes under my touch. Inhaling sharply he finally comes to say something. "I.. I didn't know my limits.. I was caught up in your emotions. They- um.. well they were very- intense. I wasn't able to see that I had met my match."
"I'm sorry I did that to you. What can I do?"
His breaths slow down, and his eyes grow weary with exhaustion. The Jedi's head falls back as his lips part to speak but nothing comes out. His arms relax over his chest and he tilts just enough to look at me with a weak smile. "You can sleep here if you need. It's only right so don't try to say you don't want to burden me. If anything you deserve rest. You’re our best General after all Obi-Wan." My fingers trail down his arm and to his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze before standing up to get him blankets.
"I have to get back to the field dear. We leave early, but maybe next time?" He says, making a weak attempt to stand up but I glared at him and he took the hint to sit back down. "You can't fight in this condition, and you know that Obi."
"You use that nickname far too much." He chuckles. "I only call you it because Obi-Wan feels so formal to me. I think it feels more personal. Is that your real name?" I pull a blanket out of the closet and toss him the quilt and he makes quick work to wrap it around his shoulders. "No. But I'm supposed to go by Obi-Wan. It's not that big of a deal though."
Obi-Wan spreads out over the sofa and shuts his eyes for a moment, but he's fighting sleep. I never knew the force could truly drain someone. I have no idea how long he was in my head, but no matter the case it had worn him down to this state of exhaustion. "Get some rest. I'll let Padme know of the situation and she will inform the fleet." He slowly closes his eyes, reluctant to give in, but his body betrays him as he quickly falls asleep. I've rarely seen him fully at ease, and seeing him like this made me happy for him. He deserves everything the world can possibly give him.
"Yes. He came to medical and said he had force exhaustion. His body had taken quite the toll. I suggest he gets two or more days of rest to restore his mind and physical control." Padme nodded and scribbled down some notes. "What are the symptoms?" She looks up stressed. "He had been meditating, he stated his mind faltered and a wave of exhaustion fell upon him. He was pretty out of it when he came to me. I let him-- ok.. listen and don't be quick to judge me, but.. he's currently on the couch in my apartment. That's where he came to me." I put my hands on my head hoping she doesn't make quick assumptions.
"You know that's prohibited. Patients should be in the medical clinic. But.. since I know that you fancy the General, and want what's best for him.. I'll let it pass. Don't let the others find out about this. Don't pursue the General y/n. I know it's hard but you can't."
My face goes red and I look away from her harsh eyes. "I understand. Nothing is, or will happen between me and General Kenobi." Padme gives a nod of approval and dismisses me to go back to the Jedi who was knocked out at my place. Sneaking in was difficult, I was worried he would sense me, Obi-Wan was always alert of threats. But I made it through the door without him waking up and snuck past him to my bedroom. My dress uniform had gotten uncomfortable so in quick haste I changed into my nightgown and crawled under the silky covers.
I woke up earlier to check over Kenobi, and he was caught in a deep sleep. I'm not sure if they would send Anakin out alone, but considering Obi-Wan wouldn't be able to leave until I medically clear him in 2 days the fleet would be led by someone else. However Anakin was far too young to lead as a General. He was still a padawan after all. Maybe Obi-Wan would be at base for a while, it would make my life so much better but he gets restless when he's out of action for so long. I prepared some medication to set his mind at ease and give him some energy for the morning and laid out a healthy breakfast.
I was gathering my things to head to a meeting when I heard him stirring from sleep.
"Y/n..." Kenobi groans slowly pushing himself on his elbows and shoves the blanket off of him. "How was your much deserved rest?" I smile and hand him the medical concoction. "Good. A comfy place you have here love, but what are these? You can't be drugging me already now can you?" He looks over the pills I pressed in his palm. "It should bring you some energy and take away some of those aches and pain. When are you going to let me check your shoulder?"
After popping the pills back and drinking water he sat up against the arm of the couch and crossed his arms. "My shoulder is perfectly fine, I told you it wasn't worth your time."
"Everything wrong with you is worth my time, so let me check. I heard it got crushed a bit?"
"Fine, but I did warn you, I'm fine." He complains as I pull down on the sleeve of his tunic. His eyes follow every small movement of my fingers along his skin, occasionally looking up at me, before blushing and turning away. "Don't pursue the General." I press into small parts of the deltoid muscle and he bites his tongue wincing. "You've bruised it quite a bit, it's just tender. You do have some open cuts here though. Let me get the first aid kit, you may need to take off the tunic." I step away and I hear the soft rustling of clothes behind me. When I come back into the room to face him, I nearly gasp in shock.
He's muscular from his neck all the way down his torso and slight abs. His shallow breathing is easily seen in the rise and fall of his chest, and short light brown curls trail up his stomach, and pecs. He watches me with curiosity as I take the sight of him in, and it's only when he shifts that I realize I've been staring at him for far too long. I flick open the small red box and use a wound cleaning cream and spray first.
I press my fingers beneath his collarbone as I work over the cuts of his shoulder. It's not intentional the amount of contact I have with him, it's only common procedure, but it feels much more intimate. I'm not sure why, I've treated so many wounds before on men, so why do I feel this way now. I can't help but notice how his chest flexes under my touch, he always seems to react this way. His eyes stay stuck on my face watching as I work. I struggle to keep my eyes off of him, one wrong move and I'm lost in his eyes.
"Next time go to medical instead of my couch." I laugh as I apply the adhesive wrap. "But this feels so much better than the clinic. You're gentle, those nurses of yours rough me up. I like how you treat me y/n." I'm glad I'm turned away from him, deciding to put away everything now just saved the embarrassing sight of my entire face turning bright red. "You know it's prohibited for me to treat you here."
"I believe everything about us is strictly against code y/n."
"That's not true.. you are an excellent Jedi. It's rare that you falter."
He stills and frowns. "You are very wrong about me. I've made many mistakes." He walks through the living room and into the kitchen finding the food I made for him. I look over the muscles in his back and notice the marks of warfare over him. Cuts, bruises, scratches, and sore skin, it hurts me to think he was ever in pain. "You're too humble. You're the role model for so many, including myself."
"You wouldn't understand the struggles I've faced as of late." He murmurs and eats slowly. "Good cooking by the way, another thing you truly excel at. You impress me everyday."
I walk around the counter and stand beside him. "Would you tell me what troubles you? Maybe I can help. I don't like seeing you hurting." I tap the back of his palm gently and he nods, finishing off the eggs.
"I admire you very deeply, and I know that I shouldn't but I can't resist you. You've grown to be quite a beautiful and loving woman, from the beginning you made it difficult to control myself. I apologize for this. I should be better than this. My Padawan struggles with the same issue with Padme, it's not right for me to correct him, because I myself have fallen for someone just as beautiful."
I look at him in shock that he's fallen for me, my silly crush and thoughts of him could become true, but we could never date. "-And truthfully.. I pulled away from your thoughts because your thoughts of me drove me to feel things I never have before. I loved that feeling but I know that it shouldn't be there. So I may have to separate myself away from you. It will hurt the both of us but it must be done."
"Don't say such things, we don't have to shut each other out. We can make this work.. nobody has to know what we do. I can't live without you, 10 years was far too many. I've never felt more alone, you make me feel like I belong." My hands hold onto his arms firmly as I plead with him. "Obi please.. don't isolate me. Don't become a stranger."
"I don't know.."
"We can act like this talk never happened. Let's just forget about it, I'd rather be just friends than lose you completely. Don't cut me out."
"I can't only be friends with you and you know that..but- maybe this- uh.. maybe this could work out. We can keep it undercover, a small thing."
His thumbs brush back and forth, drawing small patterns over the lines in my hands. He takes in soft breaths, and I watch as his chest rises and falls with each moment of silence. We could keep it a secret, surely that could be easy. "Maybe we see how this goes. Let the wind take us where it needs to."
"I wish I would've said that, I'm a bit caught up in my own selfish thoughts. Anyways, I must leave here pretty soon, Anakin has been left on his own for far too long. He can get quite reckless at times. Very immature still." Stepping back, he reaches for his tunic and covers his beautiful body from me. He walks through the house and the bathroom door opens with a click. I took the chance to clean up the living room and fix the folds and creases in my nightgown. He steps back out and grabs his cloak and gear off the hanger and wraps his holster around his waist and folds his cloak neatly over his arm.
"Can you come back later today?" I set a plate in the sink and he pauses with the door slightly opened. "I can't make a promise, but I will try. See you later dear."
Notes:
Hey ya'll not gonna lie I want to know if you want longer chapters? Because I just finished reading an Obi-Wan fic and it had super long chapters. I wanna do better about that so should I? Also any other feedback you have, let me know.
Chapter 8
Summary:
Blissful fluff.
Chapter Text
OBI-WAN'S POV:
After quietly shutting the door to her apartment, I found myself meeting Anakin watching ships take off from the large glass windows of the temple. "Good morning Anakin." He turns around and silently nods. "What's the matter? You seem deep in thought, which is quite rare for you to think." He rolls his eyes at my laughter and shakes his head. "Shouldn't we go back to fighting? They need us out there Master." His anxieties are palpable, practically radiating off of him. "I fell ill. I overused the force, a slip on my own part. However breaks are necessary, that's something we both are yet to learn. We've been going on missions for years." I cross my arms and watch him struggle to take control over the negativity. "Yes but people are dying.."
"I understand the guilt. But we most likely will be assigned to something today. They love to keep us busy.." I plop backwards into a roll out cushioned chair and Anakin seems to collect himself. But he doesn't give me peace to be quite honest. "You seem too happy. You're practically beaming Master Kenobi." He tries to survey me, but he hasn't gotten too good at reading emotion shifts just yet. I may have to hold off on showing him how if this secret with lady y/n continues. Ah but that's far too selfish isn't it?
"Caught up on some much needed sleep. I felt very at ease." I shrug hoping to get him off my tracks. "Was it that or getting to see y/n at the meeting? I saw you two walking together. You seemed just as happy then.." He teases and I look away embarrassed. I pray he doesn't pick up on my attachment to her now that I'll be visiting her often. "I got to reconnect with an old friend. You remember her from Tatooine surely?"
"Of course, the girl you were obsessed with. You constantly worried over her back then and maybe now as well."
"I care about her, yes, because she came from a hard background Anakin. You know Jedi don't have romantic relationships. Attachment is forbidden in the Jedi Code."
"Such a dumb rule." He mumbles. "Oh is there someone you admire now?"
He stills and looks out the window, attempting to avoid my observing, but it's clear in the moments of hesitation that the answer is yes. But who the young woman might be, will for sure stay hidden in his mind. But it does give me some good material to tease him over, but I should address the issue as well. "No.. I know it's not in the code."
"Master Kenobi, Anakin, we would like to speak with you over the missions." Someone calls us into the Jedi Council and I make quick work to get on my sore feet. "Of course, make haste Anakin, here's that mission I was talking about." We step into the middle of the council and Yoda seems happy to see us. "See you again, good it is. Young Anakin, grown up he has." He always smiles so weirdly.. "Good to see you too Master Yoda."
"They're separating us?" Anakin says with a little too much excitement for my liking. "Yes. But I hope that you would still keep to what is right, don't do something I wouldn’t. Hopefully Padme can keep you under control." I sigh and keep my mind off of the journey to the Outer Rim. "I'm sure she will. She's very mature."
"Good. Sometimes I'm too easy on you anyways. But use this time to take a break, but remember to stay alert. Don't get distracted by anything. Be ready to protect her. I trust that you will be smart and wise right?" He rolls his eyes, which is quite typical, he doesn't like all the rules I set for him.
"When does your mission begin?" He sighs once again, finding something to distract himself. "So eager to get rid of me so soon. But I leave in the morning, closer to noon really. You leave tonight, correct?" He nods, "Yes, I need to pack some things but then I'll be ready. She wants to go to Naboo I believe. So I should prepare." Hmm.. "How kind of her to take you to such a beautiful planet. Why does she want to go?"
"I'm not entirely sure. I'll figure it out when we get there I guess. I should go pack though.." He slowly takes steps back trying to cut off the conversation, but I think I know all I need to. He has eyes for Padme, how convenient he's her bodyguard. This could be trouble, hopefully he can mature over this. But apparently I struggle with the same issue myself. All I could think of was getting to see y/n again.
"Ok hurry and don't be some slacker that forgets their lightsaber. I can't believe you did that back in the day." I click my tongue and walk out towards my quarters to gather a few things for my own mission. I'd have to wait until
Anakin was occupied with Padme before I could sneak back to y/n.
I snap the clasp down over my bag, sealing it shut and sit back against the wall to catch my breath from the effort it took to shut the stubborn thing. Oh I probably look like a wreck, I can feel my hair on my neck and the small strands coming undone from the normal slick. So much work to do, so little time to make myself look good. How did I ever catch the attention of that gorgeous girl as a padawan? Ugh I cringe at the thought of it.
Wiping the small beads of sweat away from my forehead, I push myself back to my feet. Ever since I took a break from the battlefield, the aches and pains have started appearing more often, I guess it's because the adrenaline is worn down, but oh I wish something could take away these pains from the years prior. I can't be that old..
I changed into a clean white tunic and some decent pants and made my way to her apartment. Sneaking through the hallways was everything but simplistic. It felt like every turn I took led to another Jedi asking me questions about the battles I led. Surely they have missions right? I stood in front of her door and knocked gently waiting for her to open the door. When she did, I was struggling to look away from her.
She stood in another one of her elegant nightgowns, it was a midnight blue with a luxury metallic gleam. It was tied together at her waist with a soft silver ribbon, and it made her somehow prettier than she always was. "Good evening." I smile, taking a step inside, pulling the door shut behind me. "Were you sneaking around again?" She points to my hood and I laugh remembering to take it down. "Just trying to cover this mess I have on my head right now. I've been such a wreck lately. These battle pains are truly setting in deep. I feel like an old man." I slide the cloak down my shoulders and hang it beside me.
"I like your hair just the way it is." She pushes a loose strand back from my face and I couldn't help but blush at her touch. "Hm well I know you may be off the clock, but I was wondering if you had some sort of a cure, I mean I feel so weak today. The adrenaline is 100% gone." She listens intently, like she's planning out a diagnosis for me. Hm I would fake an injury everyday if it meant she'd look at me like this every time.
"Most likely muscle fatigue, since you were incredibly active with no rest, your muscles don't get any time to recover. So once you finally settle into an easier schedule, your body focuses on recovery more, which takes a lot of energy. Could explain why you feel tired, or like an 'old man'. Plus, you're only 35 so that's such nonsense." No wonder she's the best at what she does as a doctor, or medic? I'm not sure what she does in the field but it must be excellent. "What a diagnosis. Has anyone told you how smart you are dear?" I run my fingers over her shoulder and she gently moves them back to my side.
"All the time Obi-Wan, now come on let me get you some medicine. Go take some pressure off your feet, I'll take care of you." I cross my arms and follow her around like a love-sick puppy. "Go relax, you're always running about. Let me do my job." She turns around to face me and gently pushes me back into the living room. She giggles and sets me back down on the couch and I sink down into the cushions still holding onto her. She stumbles over me with her hands pressed into the folds of my tunic.
"Don't hurt me more now dear." My thumb runs over the back of her hand and she smiles looking down at my lips. "I would never." She mumbles. "Hm.. you make my heart hurt y/n, that's what I meant." She shakes her head giggling, and shifts her weight up, pushing gently off of my chest and back to her feet. Her face is a deep shade of blush as she turns away fixing her hair with a soft sigh. "Now you stay there for me. You hear me, stay still."
I lean back against the cushions, my head falling back with a groan. I was thinking of what that quick, but intimate moment could've been. She was right there, I could've kissed y/n, I should've but I can't. I just told Anakin romantic relationships are forbidden, yet here I am wishing I kissed a woman. A beautiful, amazing, lovely woman, but none of those qualities would matter when I try to make my case sound justified. If only they knew of my deceiving thoughts, and my whereabouts.
"Okay I have some pain-killers, and some cold packs for any harsh aches or pains you may have. Where does it hurt the most, or is it just all around?" She walks in and sets a bowl of water with a towel, packs, and pills. "It's all around.. thanks by the way, you're always helping me."
"Oh nonsense.. I've only had to play medic twice now. Oh and on that note, how long will you be here? I was told you were getting some good time off right?" She hands me the pills and a glass of water and I down them quickly before I break the sorry news to her. I press my fingers into the side of my head trying to ease the headache of it all. "I..I go back in the morning..."
"What? but- how long will you be gone? You just got back.." I feel so horrible for leaving her again. "I'm not sure. I go to the outer rim. I'm searching for this um well it's confiscated. I'm sorry dear, really I know you're upset, don't be upset over my absence." I take her hand in mine, squeezing it gently. She looks out the vertical windows lining her living room. Small speeders go by, not much traffic out tonight.
"Promise me you'll be careful right? If you get hurt make sure to come back before it gets worse ok? You're never a burden to me Obi-Wan." She dips a rag in the ice cold water and lifts up my shirt and her eyes look over the slash in my stomach. Her fingers press into my skin around the cut and I wince biting hard on my tongue. "I saw this last night, it needed to be treated but I was focused on your shoulder at first. What happened?"
"Just from fighting. Happened at some point right before I came back. It's no big deal really. It's fine I promise." She shakes her head seeing through my lies. "I thought I told you to never not ask for help." She tugs down at my waistband giving her room to clean over the gash. I hold my breath as her fingers curl in the fabric of my pants, keeping it down. She presses the rag slightly over the wound and my fingers tighten over her shoulder and I lean into her neck taking shallow breaths.
"Sorry dear, it hurts worse than I thought." She sets the rag to the side and pats the back of my head. I feel her fingers run through the hair over my neck and my mind lets go of the pain in my side. I breathe her in slowly and let her take care of me, I finally let go. I press a small kiss on her shoulder and then look up at her. "Th- Thank you. Keep going.. I'm.. ready." I groan, pushing myself up.
She looks over me waiting for me to second guess myself, but I give a nod of reassurance. "Okay, tell me if it becomes too much." She daps the cloth over the wound and my fingers wrap in the strap of her nightgown holding onto dear life. "It's ok.. you're almost there baby." She whispers wiping away dried blood. My head falls back and I laugh at the sound of her calling me that. She pulls back and reaches for bandage tape. "I remember back when I was treating your injury. I was so angry that someone could treat you that way, Master Qui-Gon spent so much time reminding me to control my anger. I still hate that man though." I say weakly as she stretches out the bandage wrap over my hip and over the gash. "I can't believe you're able to recall that after all these years Obi-Wan."
Her fingers press into my sore ribs as she finishes the job. "Call me Ben." I wince as I sit up against the side of the couch. "Pardon?" She looks at me confused. "Ben. It's my real name, you- you should call me that. Nobody really knows that, so just don't say it in public." She smiles and carefully pulls my shirt back down. "Ben.. it fits you. I like it." She tests the sound of my name and I love hearing it come out of her mouth.
"Well Ben.. be weary of your hurt side, try to defend it more from any possible further injury. A small gap in that spot and it will knock the wind out of you pretty bad. But I think you should be good. If you'd like you can stay-"
"I'd love to stay with you." I quickly interrupt her and she laughs softly, oh how pretty.. "I should've known you'd say yes. You don't have to sleep on the couch, I have a bed. You can take it for the night, you need more sleep than I do." No, she can't give up her stuff like that. "No, you've done plenty for me. The couch is just fine."
"So be it, but if you change your mind, you can still take up on that offer. Just don't wake me up, I'll get cranky and definitely try to fight you." I nod and she quickly hugs me before flicking off some lights and walking away.
Y/N'S POV: 2:00 AM
I felt the mattress slightly dip beside me and the soft rustling of the sheets woke me up. I rolled over on my side forgetting the offer I made to Obi-Wan, or now Ben, and almost said something. But he looked so happy and comfy that I decided to let him stay. Part of me didn't want to leave, I kind of liked the thought of sharing a bed with the handsome Jedi. It would've been just fine, if I didn't wake up holding onto his arm.
Chapter 9
Summary:
Back on a mission, Obi-Wan has to leave.
Chapter Text
Y/N'S POV:
Ben stretched out against the mattress with a groan, poor guy must still be aching, I'd have to check on him before he.. he leaves. If it's on the outer-rim then who knows how long it may take for him to get back, Jedi Knight or not, he would always be in danger. I turn on my side and look at the man who snuck into my bed, with teary eyes and a heavy heart. If only there was some way to get him to stay, but I know that the Jedi Order means everything to him. There's no way he can turn his back on this mission, because they clearly need his skill.
Ben rubs his eyes slowly adjusting to the fiery orange and pink light seeping through the windows from the sunrise. Once again his shirt wasn't on, but he covered himself with the quilt, only the Jedi's broad shoulders were visible, his hair was messy, but I liked it better than the usual uptight keep. He looked over at me and a soft smile stretched across his face when he noticed I was looking at him. "What a beautiful sight to wake up to." He whispers, with a voice raspy from his sleep. "I could say the same thing myself Ben."
"I've said it before but, I love hearing my name from you. Your voice is so soothing dear." Almost as if the Jedi lost control of his love, Ben's hand stretches out as his fingers brush against my jaw. A deep blush sets in and I look up to see his majestic blue eyes, pupils are slightly dilated as his eyes trail down my figure. Slowly I extend my hand out to the muscular line of his collar as the quilt slips down his body revealing more of the pecs and core.
"I see you found your way to my bed. Was my offer that good?" I trace the toned lines of his chest. "Far too good to resist dear. I'm only a man after all." Kenobi grins and plays with a messy strand of my hair. "When do you have to go?" I whisper softly, trying to hide my soft spot for him. I didn't want him to leave, I could tell he could sense that radiating from me. Sure enough Ben sighed deeply with pain, "I can sense you already worrying about me, but I promise I'll be back as soon as I can be. I'm going to be a Jedi Master soon y/n, I can handle myself."
"Anything can go wrong, I don't want to be away from you, what if- I mean you could-" I confess shakily, but I can't finish my words, yet Ben doesn't need me too, he pulls me into an embrace against his chest, and tight biceps wrap over my waist and shoulders and I cling to him helplessly. Like I was in need of saving once again, just like all those years ago, I was a desperate mess. Small tears dripped onto Ben's chest and his body shuddered. "I know it's hard dear, but.. I don't want to leave you either, But I- y/n I have broken the Jedi Code because I've grown far too attached. To you, and it's been this way for years. Couldn't you feel it? My addiction to seeing you, I tried to hide it-" Ben shuts his eyes taking a deep breath, "But- oh maker I imagine it's quite obvious now." He drops a small kiss over my forehead and I smile, hiding my face in his muscles. Ben's soft laugh heals something inside of me, I don't know what happened that would make me so attached. Could it be when he saved my life, a trauma response maybe? I should ask Padme about this. She will know, she reads me too well. But until then I would never know. "Don't get shy on me now, I just confessed something to you."
"Mmm.. I'm not being shy, you just .... feel nice.." I feel the heat in his skin, and that soft sensation of what could only be the force. "You've gotten distracted haven't you? Silly girl." His fingers run over my hair and we hold each other in silence. I could fall asleep like this, if only I knew he wouldn't be gone soon. I want every moment I can have with him.
His eyes flutter shut and his breathing slows as he falls back into sleep and he might be the most at peace he's ever been. The soft beating of his heart makes my stomach do backflips in itself, he's everything to me, what am I supposed to do without you? Is what I want to cry out to him, but it would only make him feel worse for taking up this mission. I can't be the divider between him and the Jedi. I won't make him give up his duties and role in the order.
Beep.. Beep... Beep.. Beep. Beep! An alarm breaks our rare moment of peace and he startles awake and pulls away from me to shut it off, and I feel so cold without his arms around me. He rolls on his back and covers his face. "Oh maker.." He groans and sits up on his elbows, his hair comes down covering some of his eye, and face. "Is it that time already?" I sit up against the headboard and he nods grimly. "I feel like I just got back.. but.. they need me. The Jedi haven't been doing so good as of late. A secret sith is on the rise.... could target us.. attachment.." He mumbles seemingly to himself, "A Sith?! But Ben surely you won't face him.. you know what happened last time. Be smart about this."
"Don't let a rush of fear overwhelm you. We don't know who the sith might be, so we aren't able to find him. My mission is something very simple, I can handle it." He struggles to push his hair off of his face and pushes himself to sit up more but winces and grabs his side. "Ben, wait, you're hurt, be careful!" I scoot closer to him and lift the blanket off of his stomach and push it over to see the state of the cut. Some splotches of blood had seeped through which means he must've stretched or moved in a certain way for the scab to open slightly. "It's nothing.. I'm ok." He pats my shoulder and I glare up at him.
"At least let me give you a clean wrap for your fight." I pat his chest and he stops my hand over his skin. "I don't want to spend my last moments here with you patching up on me. I want to hold you, don't fret over the small cut." His eyes are weary and full of emotion. "You'll be back right?" I cuddle into his side and he throws his arm over me, but I still take the chance to peel back the wrap. The gash looks better, but since it's so wide it's only natural for it to cut open.. "I can feel you staring at it love. I said I'm ok." His fingers tilt my chin upwards to look at his face, his searing gaze. My lips part as my breath hitches.
His eyes slowly trail over my lips and back up to my eyes, it's like I'm addicted to the way he looks at me. "I love that.. you care about me like that, but you cause so much stress on yourself. I want you to be happy I'm here, not worried about all my aches and pains." I nod and his thumb brushes over my bottom lip. "I wish I could kiss you.." He murmurs. "Wh.. won't.. you?" My fingers run through the hair behind his ear and he shuts his eyes smiling blissfully. "You’re right.. what am I saying?" He gently, carefully presses a kiss against my lips and my brain goes haywire. My heart has secretly prayed for a moment like this, and now it was out of control. He kisses me carefully, like I may shatter, like I'm his everything.
I let past a soft sigh against his lips and I felt him melt against me. His lips are soft and loving, but it was only a matter of time before he had to end the beautiful exchange and pull away, and he has the look of a man who is desperately in love with someone he shouldn't be. He's conflicted but wants more, I press my hand against his chest and his heart beats rapidly under my fingers. He looks down at my hand and covers it with his own. "Y/n.. It was hard to say goodbye to you before, but now I believe that it's become impossible."
He swings his feet over the side of the bed and pushes himself up with one clean motion. "You.. don't havvvee to go.." He puts his hands on the back of his neck and leans back, oh the way his lean muscles flexed with each movement made it hard to think, and the feeling of his lips has been stamped into my mind, occupying every rational thought. "They would suspect I had fallen under something. I have the feeling they would know- know about this. I have to go, but you will be the first person I visit when I return. But- this can't be good.. attachment leads to suffering.." He runs his hands over his face clearly distraught. "You always let the war take you away, you chase fights that aren't your own."
"No don't- please don't talk like that. If I let myself love you, which I want so badly, and they target you because of it.. I'll.. I won't recover from that y/n. I've lost so many people I grew close to, I can't lose you too." He wipes his eyes and stands up slowly pushing up off his knees. "How will they find out? I'm just a medic. Surely they won't kill a medic. It's not right." Ben shakes his head and paces with stress. "No.. no.. they'll know. They don't do the right thing dear, I have to protect you. I'll get you security, say it's because you attend those meetings." He nods and walks to my side of the bed and takes my hands.
"Promise me you'll be safe dear, please.. Master Qui-Gon.. Satine.." He takes a shaky breath. ".. I can't lose.. no.. I won't lose anymore people I love." Ben's voice cracks and he drops to his knees in front of me and leans his forehead against my knees, hiding his soft tears. I run my fingers through his hair, smoothing it back and his eyes look up at me weakly. "Ben please, remember when you told me not to worry, I promise this place is as safe as it can be, I'll be protected. Please don't cry over me, I hate causing you harm, emotionally, physically, it doesn't matter. I hate it."
He sniffles and stands to hug me tightly before collecting himself. "I'm sorry dear, I lost control of my emotions. I need to recollect myself. Fear leads to anger.. anger leads to hate.. and hate to... suffering. Yoda would be yelling at me right now." He laughs still with a tone of grief. "Ben you can feel those things, it just depends on what you decide to do with them." He nods and clears his throat, taking steps back, avoiding the breakdowns. "I need to collect my things, my tunic, my cloak, saber, all that so excuse me.." He mumbles and walks out of the room.
Ben Kenobi's POV
She deserves a man that can publicly and privately give her everything he has to offer. She shouldn't have to face my love in secret, I shouldn't love her at all but I can't control myself. Ever since I saved her it's only felt right to love and protect her, she means something to me and I can't figure out why that is. But I know that this is my true weakness, and weakness leads to suffering. Especially this one. The Jedi Code strictly forbids attachment, because all it takes is that lover to die and you fall into such a level of pain that many fall to the dark side.
But.. it felt like peace.. even for only a moment, holding her in my arms, kissing that beautiful woman. Something about it fixes me, makes me a better version of myself. Oh what am I doing? I take steady breaths trying to tap into the force to expel these passionate emotions out of myself. I pull my tunic off of the couch and pull it over my head, then tying the wrap over my waist. Now where the hell did I put that lightsaber, I was in such a state of delirium last night I must've been out of it. I pull my cloak down from the hook and find the belt and saber secured in its hold. I snap the belt around my waist and pull the jacket over my shoulders. Oh how my muscles ached, I felt the tightness in my back, and the searing pain in my side was becoming less numb. I felt the stretch of the scab every time I moved wrong. If only I had said no to this mission. I could stay here, protect y/n. She would take care of all my pain, she would heal every broken piece of me, and oh how I yearned for her. If she said the word... I would leave the Jedi for good.. no, I couldn't do that, I'd be shunned, cast out, and forsaken. They'd ridicule me for my immaturity and foolishness to fall for her.
I slowly pull the door open and hear steps behind me. "Ben? You're leaving?" I can see the pain in her eyes. There's pain burning inside her. And it burns me so deeply. "I need to go, they'll be expecting me." It hurts to smile but she tries too, and nods. "Right.. um. Bye Obi-Wan Kenobi." She stands far away from me and she looks at me with a longing one couldn't comprehend through my foolish words. "Dear please, don't call me that.. my name, I like hearing it from you.." I mutter and she nods. "Bye Ben Kenobi." She folds her hands over my chest and shuts her eyes holding back the tears. "I'm sorry, for all of this." I pull the door shut behind me and flip my hood up covering the pain twisted in my expression."
"Master, they've been looking for you." Anakin interrupts my thoughts as I turn the corner. He reels back and holds a look of shock. "Obi-Wan, are you alright, I sense intense pain from you. Where were you to feel this way?" I shake my head and wave him back. "I'm perfectly fine Anakin.. just tired that's all. Don't worry about it." I keep walking at a quick pace. "You visited her didn't you?"
I stop in my tracks and turn to face Anakin. He freezes from my glare, "Don't speak of y/n. I have no such care to visit her. I don't have any relations with her." I wave my fingers and he nods. "I won't speak of y/n, Master Obi-Wan has no such care for her, or relations with y/n." His eyes glaze over for a moment and then he continues to walk by my side. I arrive in front of Padme and she glares at me, chastising me for being late. I board the ship and quickly begin to take off. I need to get off this planet as quickly as possible.
Y/N'S POV
"You saw him didn't you!" Padme yells storming into my apartment, I was a wreck sobbing on my couch. "No I didn’t your highness, I'm just-" Padme snaps and throws her things down. "Don't lie to me, I know you better than anyone, you don't weep for no reason. What happened? And oh maker if you try to lie again I will see to the no contact contract between you and the General." She's firm but it's only because she cares. "Ben- Obi Wan came over because he was suffering aches and pains, and a large cut over his ribs and side." I cry into my arms and she nods. "Then what?"
"Padme please-" She sighs and reaches out comforting me, or at least attempting to, but I'm so overwhelmed by almost every emotion possible to feel at once. "Talk to me, I'm not getting you in trouble but I need to know the extent of this conflict. It seems you know his real name which isn't a good sign."
"He stayed the night, and.. I said he could use my bed because he had a battle.. and.. when.." I choke out my words and feel another wave of tears flow over me. "We woke up and.. oh Padme, I love him! Is that what you wanted to hear! I love someone who isn't allowed to love me back. He said he had broken the Jedi code and then we.. We kissed and it was great! But then we were scared I would be a target and he begged me to be careful, and said he couldn't lose anyone else.. or he may never come back."
Padme's eyes widen and then she reels herself back in. "Why do you love him, how are you attached? You only knew him for a few days over the course of over ten years y/n. Why do you think you can't live without General Kenobi? You deserve someone who can love you in full." I shake my head. "I think.. It's because he saved me. Every time I'm with him, I feel secure and safe, and he's the only person who I feel that with." I sob and she hands me tissues to wipe my tears. "Hm.. it's a trauma bond. Some call it a rescue response, I know you were on the verge of death as you have told me, most likely when you had nobody that offered rescue, your brain associated the one man who did, General Kenobi, as a safe haven. It left an imprint on your mind. Which of course leads to attachment and dependency, hence your sobbing. Many suffer from this, even though you had few interactions with Kenobi, that makes things worse. Because in those times he was kind and safe, so your brain idealized him, he's your perfect protector, and I know it's hard but your brain longs for that feeling of being saved again, so when Kenobi is around, you feel at peace, or saved from the harsh realities. I used to work in psych, my parents taught me the significance of knowing the human mind. But it's a trauma response, which takes time to get over."
Did she just diagnose me? That's my job.. But it all makes so much sense now, I rely on his security. "What if I don't want that to go away? He makes me feel refreshed and new, he's my happy place Padme, I want that, I want him." Padme crosses her arms. "You can't have him, he's a Jedi, soon to be a Jedi Master. This will put him at jeopardy. Do you truly want that from him?" I fall back against the couch deep in a mental tug of war. "Padme please you don't understand.."
"I love Anakin Skywalker. I understand." She breathes out shakily. My jaw drops and I sit up quickly. "What?" She shakes her head. "It's nothing. We can control ourselves, who needs Jedi anyways?" I do, desperately. For the next few weeks I constantly checked medical reports for his name, checked travel logs for his returning jet, and at night I dreamed that he was back here with me. My heart longed for my happy place, my knight in shining armor, or my 'rescuer' as Padme calls him. She saw the harsh effects his absence had on me, and it made me incredibly angry. I worked so hard to make a life on my own, but I couldn't help but need him. Simple things like getting out of bed took nearly all my willpower, the meetings were harsh reminders of his absence, considering the empty seat next to me.
Padme always tried to keep me busy to get my mind off of him, but she plans on going to Naboo with Anakin soon. At least her forbidden lover was with her 24/7. Mine was off fighting for his life in the outer rim. No updates were registered because he wasn't able to transmit them. I looked horrible too, eye bags , messy hair, heavy sad eyes, chewed off fingernails, wrinkled clothes, and my apartment was a wreck. I couldn't find the energy to fix anything. I fell into a simple cycle. Eat, Sleep, Shower, Attend meetings, Eat, Sleep and it goes on.
The Mental Medical department requested my visit, but I knew that I couldn't speak the pain in my heart to them. Only Obi-Wan, Padme, and I could know of this. Any others could lead to the secret getting to the Jedi Council and he wouldn't be appointed Master. I couldn't ruin his dreams. I wouldn't have said anything to Padme if it wasn't for her reading me so well.
I stood up in the meeting on shaky legs and looked down at the insane count of deaths. "703 Dead, too many missing, 52 critical injuries, 98 admitted onboard the medical transports. Our Clone troopers are suffering out there and there is absolutely nothing we can do to stop these deaths." I look at Padme and she nods for me to take a seat. Across the room a man shrugs. "Who cares? They are just clones after all. I think we should cut off all clone troopers from receiving medical attention. Reserve it for the Jedi, or Generals. I mean too much money is going into this!" The financial advisor says without a second thought.
"Are you joking? You don't seem to understand the pain these troops go through. Remember the highest established late General? He had a wife and kid! These troops mean a lot to the people here, and I will not forsake them. I don't care if I have to go back onto those carriers if it means helping the clones." I slam my fist down on the table and when I pull back sure enough there is a dent. The room went quiet, and then a less emotional man nodded. "Let's leave things where they are.. and any other ideas or info from the group?"
I walked quickly along Padme's side and I was near yelling over the horrid ideas that man came up with. "I mean what kind of heartless monster thinks of things like this?! It's pure insanity to suggest I let so many poor men die just because they want to save money! I mean why design clones to have emotions and personalities just to treat them like droids! Oh maker, if he doesn't shut his mouth I will personally do it for him!" Padme chuckles, "He was clearly trying to make you angry. But I agree some people should be put in their place every so many years."
"I must say your work in the medical field is beyond reproach. But are you sure you would go back onto those ships? I mean they nearly killed you emotionally, maybe physically too. "I would if I had too. The ships didn't almost kill me, it was my raging fear of seeing Ben get boarded with a sheet over his eyes. At least here I won't have to see him dead. I'll only hear of it."
"Ben's his real name right? I've never heard anyone call him that, didn't know he had another name." "I don't mean to call him it, but I didn't know either, I mean he told me last night. Now saying Obi-Wan feels wrong." She sighs, "Well don't say that in front of anyone else, they may suspect that you hold a close relationship with the Jedi. But I must admit something.. I have fallen under the same predicament. I believe I have fallen for my bodyguard, Anakin, and now it's not just some silly lovebug, he's been actively pursuing me! What am I to do? He mustn't know, I'm trying to suppress it but it doesn't work." She folds her hand with nervousness. "Oh my. Oh you are in for it. Didn't you just tell me not to pursue-"
"Yes I know. I've gone back on my own advice, what a shame. But don't speak a word of this, I felt it was only fair since I know your dirty little secret with General Kenobi." She stands in front of the looming office doors with a smile. "A fair trade, I must go attend a deep wound surgery. It's soon to begin." I gave a gracious bow and turned on my heel walking towards the medical processing center.
"Ok I need Mira and her apprentice, a droid and typical surgery tools for surgery B-19."
A droid pushed gloves on my hands and handed me my glasses as I looked over the patient. "Perform the bio-scan." I nod to the droid and lasers scan over the trooper. It smells like antiseptic, but also the familiar stinging of the smell of bacta is in the air. I work on sterilizing the surgery area and prepare the neuro-inhibitor to put the troop to sleep. His tattooed arm falls limp against the table, a simple reminder of every clone's own being. I take a small laser scalpel and make the first cut, "Internal bleeding.." I cut open more and see the blaster shot path that nicked the liver. I cauterize the bleeding and work at removing the rest of the tissue before removing shrapnel and armor pieces from the skin. "I need more synth blood. The liver is hit but salvageable." I call out and Mira's apprentice darts away. I apply an organ graft patch over the wound and work on sealing up the cut as we fix his blood flow. "After we finish up here, transport him to the Bacta-Tank-" His heart flatlines and I rush to find the injection to pump life back into the heart through the bloodstream. I make quick work to stick it into a vein of his forearm and slowly the monitor comes back up and a weak breath slips out from the patient. "Put him in critical care." The droids whisk the clone away and I take a moment of peace before removing my blood stained scrubs and gloves.
"That was terrifying." Mira's young apprentice, Sarayiah sighs peeling off her protective covers. "You'll learn to get used to it, just takes a while. I used to be so scared of blood, but here I am." I wash my hands off and pull open a comuincuff to relay the procedure final. "What if he died?" She looks up at Mira, and gets a small pat on the back. "Working in medical means sometimes you can't save someone no matter how hard you try. It can be very emotionally stressful. Try not to let it go to your head sweetie. You are only 13, so it all seems so complex but only for now."
I finish up the surgery and check out for a break to get lunch. Anakin and Padme were leaving today, so these next few weeks would be quite boring and somehow even more repetitive, or so I thought.
Chapter 10
Summary:
Obi-Wan is fighting death, but his beautiful medic was far back on Coruscant, so who can take care of him now?
Chapter Text
BEN KENOBI'S POV:
"You're one pathetic Jedi." Jagno Fett stands across from Kenobi, he had cornered him in a cave outside the bustling city on a small outer rim planet. But it was beginning to seem like Jango Fett was purposely leading Obi-Wan to him, hunting him down. Slowly he circled me, but I held my ground watching for small movements. "You underestimate the Jedi. I tracked you from across the Galaxy."
"You seriously believe I let you do that?" His laugh pushed out through the modulator in his helmet. "A trap I knew was coming. Truly what will I do now?" I roll my eyes and feel the anger in the masked bounty hunter in front of me. "I've wanted you dead for so long. Today when you bleed out alone, I will be complete." He reaches into the holster hanging low on his waist and pulls out a laser blaster. But with a flick of my hand I ignite my saber in my hand and he fires the first shot. He had many tactics for fighting Jedi, so I have to proceed with caution, he's taken down many newer Jedi. But I can't underestimate him, I've sustained many injuries, any number of hits could put me out for long enough to land a fatal hit.
I play defensive, blocking his shots until he pulls out a Vibroblade. snapping motion, bigger weapon, and harder to fight. How many weapons can he have in that clunky armor? I jump away taking a stand at the back of the cave, I watch him carefully holding firm to my place. No good escape routes from here, I need to fight my way out of this. The hums of my saber and the buzz of the blade echo off the walls of the cave. "What's the bounty on me? Surely it's pretty high, at least I'd hope I'm priced well enough for you to risk your life like this." I smirk trying to mess with his head. But something felt off, I was distracted.
"Quiet! You run your mouth far too much for me. Always such a fool. Just die already!" He lunges forward and I barely deflect the swerved swing coming for my side, but not enough as the very tip of the laser slips over the scar and I wince groaning as it splits. "Interesting, how weak you manage to already be injured." He has confidence now, can't be good." Seeing the growing energy in his movements, I put as much space between us as the cut reopens with flashes of pain. Y/n is going to hate having to take care of the same wound for the third time. Shame. He snaps forward and kicks my knee. My vision blurs but I have to keep fighting. I clear my head and follow the lighting of his blade. He whips out a blaster and a shot fires towards my head, as his blade comes down over me, I fling my arm up and take the hit to stop the Vibroblade with my saber and slide out from under him and fly back.
I hold a hand to my side and small blotches of hot blood soaks over the tips of my fingers, and my sleeve has already grown sticky. Oh y/n would have to fix up so many hits the next time she helps me. Flashers of her appear in the back of my mind, breaking the seal I put over her love for the time I fought. I stumble and lean against the cold stone of the cave as pain shoots up through my forearm. My side crunches with pain that just keeps flaring, it could need stitches or a laser seal, things y/n can do, but I can't. She is the other half I need. My missing piece. "I thought you were the best General the Jedi had to offer? Yet just a scrape and shot rattles you? How pathetic. The Jedi truly have crumbled."
"I'm perfectly fine, your ridiculous blade does nothing." I mumble standing back carefully attempting to brush off the searing pain. With rage he swings again and I hardly dodge. Why am I so weak? How could I have been hit? My mind is clouded, I feel emotionally weakened, it's killing me physically. I can't lose to a mere bounty hunter. Not when I promised I'd be back for her, I want to hold her again, and.. and maybe kiss her once more. I can't fail her can I?
He ignites his jetpack and flies behind me and a sharp cut of pain sears across my shoulder and down my side, he hits me, he's going to kill me. I will die at the hands of a scumbag hunter. No, no I won't, I let go of my emotion and anger releases through my body, numbing the pain only for a moment. Just long enough for time to roll onto my back, oh my ignore the soaked blood of my cloak.. I stretch my hand out and draw him closer with a pull of the force and turn off my saber and reignite it as he lines up over it. I hold him in the air and slowly slash across his waist, drawing out the hot pain, and he crumples in two, it takes nearly all my energy, but at least if I die so will he. Both of us can have a slow painful death.
My rage subsides and the pain floods back in a rush of heat with the contrast of a cold sweat as fear sets in. I'm going to die. Despite the near lethal pain in my bones, I push myself up onto my knees clutching my limp shoulder. It held on weakly by the bone, it made me lightheaded just seeing my skin severed and sizzling. Bile slid up the back of my throat and I choked on it weakly. I hardly managed to pull my robe off and the shoulder and back is covered in splatters of blood seeping through in a dark maroon over the white cloak. I cover my mouth and crumple to the ground. My head falls back as flashes of white cloud my vision, my hand stretches out for her, "Y/n... please... just help me one more time.." I weakly whisper, my voice rasping out.
Comlink.. oh maker I have a Comlink I need to call for help.. I snap upwards and a jolt of pain hits as I send an SOS signal to my battalion and the Jedi Council, "Jango- is dead- but send help... bleeding ou-" My voice cracks and I can't hold my head up any more and I feel my body began to shut down growing weak from the loss of the blood that now spills down my forearm and down my wrist and knuckles, it's hot and gushing, I groan reaching up to make a weak attempt to slow the blood but it's hard to apply pressure when my body is growing weak and dreary. "y/n please don't leave me here--" I drop my head into my blood soaked hand and cringe at the feeling. "I- I broke my promise- but I- aghh, help me I-" My body trembles and I choke out the last three words with bile. "I love you-" and as my heart and body breaks, the signal sends.
After being unconscious something comes over me, my eyelids weigh heavy, but I can somewhat see, so I can't be dead. My senses slowly zone back in, my hands shake and my mouth is dry, but I hear soft footsteps and look over to see what must be an angel, a beautiful girl in a silky white gown, she nearly put me back to my rest. "Ben? Ben, are you ok? Where are you?" Her pure voice echoes off the cave, oh how it fixes every broken piece of my soul. I weakly roll onto my stomach to look up at my angel. I weakly lift my head from the wet dreary stone floor. My mouth lolls open as I weakly call out for her, her touch, her healing of me. A weak rasp of y/n's name slips from me but she can't hear me. "Ben, I heard you, you called for me earlier. Where are you sweetie? I'm here to help you, you're hurt?"
She's here, here to save me, fix me, save me, love me, I need her, here holding me, I need her by my side. attempting to tap into any reservation of strength that could be left. I drag my limp body across the bloodied floor in agonizing pain, flashes of her flood my mind, overwhelming my senses. She strolls through the cave and stops in front of me. I reach out for her with my last gasp of energy but my fingers fall short by mere inches. She slowly drops to her knees in front of me, whispering sweet words of assurance. A weak smile crosses me as her soft fingers lift my chin in her palm. "You'll be okay, I've got you now, the Sith are gone, you can stop fighting, we can run away together." She brushes my bloodied hair back off my face and kisses my forehead. My breaths slow and my heart thumps slowly against my bruised chest. Hm what a beautiful way to die, in the arms of an angel. "aghh- d-dear- no- no- I.. I'm dying.. we can't now-" I choke up maroon and she wipes my face gently with a look of sadness.
"That's not true, you'll survive, I'm here to heal you." Her fingers trail over my cheek and she uses a soft damp rag to wipe the sweat, dirt, tears and drips of blood over my forehead. I rest my head in her soft loving hands as she carefully takes care of me. "I love you." She whispers and she kisses my forehead with a soft sigh. I choke on my response and warmth envelopes me. I shut my eyes embracing the soft light of her love, ready to face my end, when a deep chill replaces her. "Ben- Ben I'm bleeding, help me.. Ben please protect me! I'm dying! Why won't you help me! You promised to keep me safe, why did you lie to me Ben?! You let him kill me!"
Her body seizes as sharp piercing red slices through her heart and my body convulses from pain and pure suffering, mentally and physically. Her lips part and in her dying breath, "I hate you." She chokes out as she falls limp. A weak sob from me echoes over and over in my mind. I can't move, I can't move to save her.
"You could've save her..." A whisper drifts through my head, "But not as a Jedi." My vision goes black and my head lands on her cold limp body, no longer warm with love and her compassion.
Y/N's POV:
A strong fist slams against my door repetitively and I rub my eyes pushing away the deep tired ache in my head. "Just one second, this better be important Mira!" I pull my robe over my cold shoulders and tighten it around me as I stumble to open the door. I pull open the door and Padme rips me out of my room, her eyes desperate and hiding pain as she pulls me towards her office. "What- I thought you were on Naboo?" She shakes her head and slings open her door and shows a hologram. "I was until this was sent out. A blurry hologram of Ben reaching out for help with blood seeping over his body and head. His voice now raspy and merely a whisper. "Jango- is-dead.."
I cover my mouth and hold back a sob. He shakes with pain and tears and blood runs down his face. He's breaking, he needs me, I've failed him. "Who was sent this?" I look at Padme who is equally wrecked. "My assistant got it first, I told him to cut out this part before he relayed it. Just um- just listen. I'm so sorry."
"y/n please don't leave me here--" He writhes reaching blindly for what I can only assume is my touch and care. But I can't help him, instead I am left here to watch him suffer. "I- I broke my promise- but I- aghh, help me I-" Seconds feel like hours and then, "I love you." But now I can't say it back. I drop to my knees sobbing in mourning and my cries fill the hall. I knew I should've done something. I could've extended his diagnosis, I could've done something to help him. This is my fault entirely, I should've made him stay. Stay with me. I hold my aching chest as tears run down me. "Padme- we have to save him please! Send someone.. anyone! I'll go, let me go save him please he needs me!" I beg as she holds me up on my shaky legs.
"It could be too late for him." She whispers, shutting off the repeating cries for help from my one true love. "But what if it's not? What if I can save him please let me at least try! All I need is a ship with a hyperdrive. We know his coordinates now. Please, let me save him and I will forever be indebted to you. I love him, Padme, I can't lose him."
After her tears dry, she quickly nods and turns to her messenger. "Prepare a ship. Anakin will pilot it, wake him and send him there instantly. We depart at ten." She picks me up and slaps her hands over my shoulders. "Listen if you want to save him you need to collect yourself! Go get the bacta injections, and anything else that may save his life. Meet back here in 5 minutes. Tell nobody where we go." I sprint off through the halls and type in the override code to the injection safe and throw multiple in my bag.
I shove as many supplies as I can into the duffel bag and program a surgical droid to follow me. It's hardwire kicks on with a loud hum and sticks by my side as I run back to Padme and quickly board the ship. Anakin is already piloting as Padme takes a seat and types in the coordinates. I sit at a small table and memories of our first encounter flood my mind. If he saved me, I can save him. I have to. I drop my head in my hands and all I can hear is the concern in his voice when he first picked me up and took care of the cuts from my old master.
"The Jedi Council just marked General Kenobi as KIA." Padme says weakly and I struggle to stay collected. "No they can't know. They can't be sure there's still a chance!" I flip over the table and my mug shatters against the cold steel flooring of the jet. "Those fools! They just don't want to spend money. He's the best Jedi General in this whole galaxy and they just mark him as dead?! Does he not deserve a funeral? I hate the council, they're wrong, they are monsters, first they want me back to my master, and now they decide my Ben doesn't deserve a search party." I throw a plate against the wall and rip the dishes out of the cabinet and fling them across the room.
Glass flies through the room and the kitchen is ransacked by the time tears rush down my face. Small pieces of the painted plates stick in my clothes and my hands and I hear the muffled yelling of her but I don't seem to understand her, I'm blinded by emotion. Padme stands in shock watching me with a look of fear when I finally snap and fall to the floor crying. "It can't be real! He's not dead, he's back on Coruscant. Tell me that's true? Please he can't be dead." I sob into my hand a shard of glass cuts down my eyebrow and cheek followed by a small snake of blood. "It's okay. deep breaths.. close your eyes.." She approaches me carefully and reaches into her pocket.
I lean back on my hands and small shards go into my palm, I watch her slowly get closer. "Don't touch me, just let me get this out." I tremble trying to back away from her. She pulls a syringe and needle out of her robes and my mind panics. I stumble to get away but she wraps one arm around my neck and stabs a needle into my shoulder. I grab her hand attempting to escape as the liquid injects in my blood. It's too late, she's stuck me with it. It's an overwhelming feeling of betrayal, it's all I can think of is how she turned on me. "What the-?!" I push her back and yank the needle out of my skin. "What is this?" I shatter the empty injector on the glass tile. My head spins and my fingers go numb. "Padme what did you-" She quickly steps behind me as I black out and go limp.
PADME'S POV
"I figured she would have an outburst such as this." I lay her down in Anakin's bunk and he looks down at the poor girl with what can only be pity. "She loved him, it's clear, does she know of the Jedi code?" Ani pushes his hair back and steps out of the room. "Of course she does but that doesn't matter for now. How much longer until we land? Prepare the droids to collect the late General Kenobi. If he died, we need to keep y/n sedated until the funeral. Or until the psych team can step in." As much as I want to believe he's alive, there's no way he lasted 5 hours. With the state of his rampaged body, he was left vulnerable to any animal or raider. That's if the loss of blood didn't kill him. He would need an incredibly strong will to live, and what can only be pure luck. We would be there soon, y/n would be awake. If Kenobi is dead we need to put her back to sleep or things could collapse quickly. I'm not sure how her heart and body may handle such a loss. Codependency is a dangerous thing. She has such a strong dependency on him, it's something like I've never seen before.
"Padme she has to know at some point, maybe she wants to see him, dead or not." He taps some controls on the panel and pulls on his goggles as the landing gear prepares to release in 30 minutes. "You haven't seen the depth of their love. Even when they were hiding it, General Kenobi looked at her as if she was everything, and she talked so deeply of his actions and love. It will be a hard thing for her to process." I walk back in and watch over the girl, praying her lover is alive. She was friends with me, but without him her life shifts. When he's here she's the most joyous girl ever, but when he departs for a mission she's gloomy. If he died, she may never recover.
"Send the survey droid to the coordinates as we land. If he's alive I'll wake y/n." Anakin nods and opens the flight gap for the droid to set off. I pull a cloak over my shoulders and brace for the harsh impact of it all.
BACK TO OBI-WAN KENOBI
I had held out for as long as I could, but my body longed for death, some sort of break from fighting for my life, pushing back the burning injuries threatening to end my world. The festering in my wounds had been surrounded by flies only making the pain more severe as the wound stung. Maybe I should give up, I can't hold out any longer. I longed for the vision of my angel to come back, but couldn't see her die again. But I longed for her in what may be my last moments. My eyes stung from the dirt and I wished I could fall asleep and end this nightmare, but part of me, a foolish part of me, held out hope that my love would come back. I would be saved. I shake my head trying to stay awake when an iced metallic claw pokes into a slit down my forearm. It pulsates blaring a loud beeping into the cave. I cry out in pain as it pulls out of my arm and my body arches off of the ground as I try to escape from whatever this searing device was. It made another loud beeping noise ringing my ears. "Connecting- Connecting-" It repeats over and over.
"Queen Amidala, General Kenobi is 5-15 minutes from death, if critical action is not taken he will succumb to the injuries from a blaster shot to the forearm, a Vibroblade cut to the shoulder bridge, a Vibroblade cut in the side, head trauma, several cuts over the head, arms, legs, chest, you get the idea.. I will bring back vitals, he's in critical condition." I laugh but my body only convulses from the shaking, Jango really banged me up huh? I guess I am to die to the hands of a lousy bounty boy.
It drones on and my eyes widen at the idea of the survey, please, don't be another hallucination. No I can't trust it, I must be in my final moments, I.. I need something, anyone, where is the council? I sent an SOS, where are they? We had an emergency rescue procedure, had they decided I wasn't good enough for it? I can't hold on, I can't handle another vision or hallucination or whatever that whisper was. The strange voice haunts me, telling me she's dead, that nobody is coming. "Y/n please, surely you came for me.. please?" I rasp but receive blank cries from my dry throat. "Nobody is here to save you Obi-Wan, but if you join me, I can fix this with the wave of the hand.." My fingers curl into my palms, trying to keep myself awake, but my grip is slipping. I shut my eyes tightly trying to drown out the wicked voice in my mind. But I'm left alone.
The droid zips away and my hope dissipates instantly, leaving a needle poke in my bloodied arm.
The sun was rising, exposing my wrecked body to the harsh rays of UV. It felt like I was burning alive. My skin was ablaze and beads of sweat didn't help my situation. I pushed myself over on my stomach and while the cuts pressed against the cold stone, the sun was on my back, where most of the pain wasn't. The damp cold helped me, but also made me relax into tiredness. I cover my eyes with the torn bloody sleeve and focus on breathing, I need to drag toward the back of the cave, the sun won't hit me there, but y/n may not see me there. If- When she finds me it needs to be easy for her.. but if I'm dead maybe she shouldn't see me like that. "The Jedi aren't coming to save you, they believe it costs too much time. They so easily give up on you."
"Y/n hasn't.. I know she wouldn't forsake me." "Where is she then? Maybe with a new general already, soon she will forget you ever loved her. Your death will be thrown out in the wind." I covered my ears and hot tears stung my eyes, "No. No! stop!" I weakly cry digging my fingers into my dirty hair. Echoes sound out through the cave and I snap my head up. I see a figure standing outside the cave, I dig my fingers into the stone and try to pull myself closer to them. "Help- please whoever it is, help me." I choke trying to push myself up but my body gives out and I crumple on my back.
"Ben?" She says softly urgently. Oh my angel is back, my final breaths with the angel of my mind. The soft white gown, that beautiful voice.. "My angel.. you came back- no- y-you're fake- get away- back-" But she can't seem to hear me beg for her to leave my vision. She rushes towards me with a bag of something.
"I told you he'd be alive!" I hear the angel cry out and I shake my head. She's not real, no she can't be, I'm hallucinating again.. "Stop putting her in my mind-" I beg the mystery darkness of my head but get no response, I don't even feel the influence any more. I weakly slam my head on the stone trying to push away her voice. Hoping to fall unconscious. "Hurry get the droid down here!" She yells, I shut my eyes tightly trying to shut her out. Running steps ring out until someone drops beside me, don't look up, it's not her Ben. She was killed, or no that was fake, no- she's on Coruscant, it's impossible. Don't look into those pretty eyes, don't reach out for her, she's an illusion. Not real- no-
But when those soft warm hands hold onto my good arm and shift my head onto her lap and clings to me. My angel is crying, she's crying, I can feel the tears drip against my chest. Stop. Stop Ben it's fake.. those familiar hands are just a hallucination. Those hands cup my face and her eyes are brimmed with bittersweet tears. "I'm so sorry. I wanted to help you so badly, oh my maker, you're alive, they- they- Ben they said you were- killed- and I didn't.." She takes rapid breaths and then her eyes dart over my body and back to my face. "My poor poor Ben.. you're going to be okay, I'm here for you, and I will be from now on." Just like the fake angel, she pushes my hair back, whispers comments of love and safety, but then something changes because then, she leans down and kisses me. My body fills with warmth, my pain numbing only temporarily. This feeling is real, I've only felt it once before, and she's real, those are the lips I've longed for, the one thing I wanted before my final breaths. She tastes like sweet vanilla and she kisses me, and it feels like she's saving my life just with her lips.
I longed to comfort her but I struggled to move, she pulled back and looked around nervously, and pulled in the droid. Her eyes flicker up to the entrance and I notice Padme and Anakin watching us. "Y/n they know now, Padme seen and Anakin-" She shakes her head, "They already knew, they put the pieces together when I cried and broke every piece of glass in my reach, they begin to cauterize all bleeding, he's lost too much blood. Hurry." A sense of urgency rushes over her, and uses a blade to cut away the blood soaked clothing, cautiously pulling away the dirty cloth. She covers her mouth in shock as she sees the long cut down my shoulder and side. "Anakin find a blanket and make it quick! He's running cold." Her hand presses against my forehead and shakes her head. "Deep bleeding has been cauterized, shoulder in critical condition, needs laser stitching. Risk of concussion and the lack of blood is draining his body, vitals are dropping."
"No No no- we can't perform that while he's awake and we can't put him to sleep. He could crash, prepare numbing, get the bacta injection. Find the sealer as well." She cares about me.. Carefully I lift my hand and hold onto her leg for support, as it's the only thing I have the strength to reach out for. "My angel isn't fake.. you're here, are you saving me?" I whisper and she stifles a cry. "I'm no angel.. but I am here to help my beautiful boy." Her thumb grazes over my cheek and then a laser stitch is pressed against my arm, my body jolts but she holds my chest down steadying the shudders.
I cry out in pain holding onto her for my dear life, my sanity. Slowly my skin is pressed together as the laser burns my skin shut. I bite down on my tongue holding back obscene words. "You're almost there, just hold on Ben, deep steady breaths." The droid pushes in the last stitch and my body slowly relaxes. "His side needs surgery, we'll wrap it and then prepare a stretcher." She waves off the droid and works on cleaning the deep wound and carefully wraps it, it's just like when I was last with her.. my eyes slowly shut as a wave of exhaustion crashes into me, I don't have to fight to stay alive anymore. The droid comes back blaring a loud noise, "Ms. y/n, his vitals! They're dropping rapidly, he's shutting down!" It blares and I feel my muscles relax in her arms.
"No no no no.." Her fingers tap my cheek and I smile before opening my eyes looking up at her as she checks my face. A warm washcloth dries up the blood over my cheek and she prepares the bacta injection and a breathing assist. A cone shaped breather slowly clasps over my nose and mouth and oxygen is pumped in my lungs. I feel myself peacefully drifting asleep, I can't seem to keep myself awake anymore, I don't have to fight back death, she's saving me. I embrace the slow shutting down of my body. "His vitals are seconds from crashing."
Electric presses hit my chest and I startle awake gasping for more air.
"Again, hurry, get it back on again!" She yells as a needle presses into my arm and my world goes black.
"We're losing him-"
Chapter 11
Summary:
Obi-Wan has fallen unconscious from the stress put on his body, while he recovers the Jedi Council refuses him rest and demands his presence.
Chapter Text
Y/N's POV
I sat next to Ben, his vitals were low but steady in a deep sleep. I couldn't bring myself to leave him, because I wanted to be with him when he woke up. We had to put his arm in a sling so he'd be out of action for a long time, luckily he didn't have a concussion but he suffered a pretty bad hit to his head so some stitches had to be put in. I held his wrapped hand and leaned against the bed hoping he'd be awake soon.
The only sounds in the room were the beeping of his heart rate and the breathing machine. He had already been in the Bacta submersion so for now he was just catching up on rest. The wounded Jedi had been out for nearly a day and a half now. His body is under severe stress and trauma so it's only natural. He would be out of action for two or more months until the stress on his shoulder subsided.
The soft sliding of the medbay doors startled me out of my deep thoughts. "Miss, Padme requests your presence in her office. It's quite urgent." Anakin stands in the doorway and I shake my head. "What if he wakes up, I won't be here for him." Anakin walks beside me and takes the empty seat. "When did you first love my Master?" He looks up at the heart rate stat and back at Kenobi. "I don't know. From the first time I saw him I just- I relied on him really he saved me from so much trauma. Padme calls it a rescue response, your brain registers that person as a sign of safety and makes you long to see them. At least that's what she told me." I push myself up and my legs are stiff from sitting beside the General all day. "I'm glad you were able to save him." He nods as I walk out and the sliding door shuts behind me, I wipe my eyes and nervously make my way to Padme's office. Walking through the cold lonely halls made me feel uneasy, what could be so urgent to pull me away from Ben? I pull open the door to her office and sit at her desk with a large plate of food and a glass of water, she motions for me to sit.
"Anakin mentioned you needed to see me? He said it was urgent, but I'd like to get back to Ben quickly, so he could wake up." I lean against her desk ignoring how exhausted I am from being awake for nearly 32 hours. "General Kenobi will be just fine for now. But you aren't, you haven't slept, eaten, or replenished yourself. If you keep this up you won't be able to support him when he comes awake. So what you need to do is eat and get hydrated. Anakin and some nurses will watch over him for the next few hours. Take a nap, get some rest." I weakly push myself out of the chair and shake my head. "No he needs me, with all due respect I can't follow this order." I turn to walk out but one of her guards gently walks me back. "Does he need you, or do you need him? You've already saved him, now he's just recovering. You've become far too dependent on him; this isn't healthy."
"I'm not hungry or tired, I'm fine." I turn away from the delicious looking food. "Stop being such a fool, you aren't leaving until you take care of yourself! You can't give him your all if you can barely function." She hands me a sandwich and I reluctantly eat it. "Now that this is taken care of, I have bad news." Padme sits up and has a grim look. "Anakin is under fire from the Jedi council for operating a ship without their approval. Considering they denied sending help to Kenobi, they see it as an act of rebellion. They also have requested to speak to Kenobi the second he comes to. I have no clue why, but they are very upset with me and you as well, while they can't punish me, they have considered sending you either Tatooine, or putting you in the fields of battle as an on site medic. Two places that may ensure your death or endanger your health. You may have to justify yourself to them but they believe you were irrational."
I stand up and throw my chair back across the room and it slams into a wall, Padme flinches back, but waves her guards off. "They want me dead just because I saved their best Jedi?! What is this, do they want him dead at this point because this is truly absurd and I will not stand for this council if this is how they treat human beings, Jedi aren't some robots they have feelings. What did they expect me to watch him die in a hologram? Oh maker when I find those heartless men." I put my hands on my head and pace back and forth rambling threats and obscene words of anger. "First the clones and now this?" I run my hands down my face and clasp them over my chest and Padme stays calm but I can feel her worry. "I know it's a horrible situation but there is nothing we can do unless you make a good case. The only issue is if you say one wrong thing they will sense that you love Kenobi and that will only make them want you gone even more. They don't want you to lead Kenobi to the darkside."
"They'd rather him die?" I finally sat back down in the un-broken chair. "Well- yes. They believe it's better to be killed than to fall out of the Jedi Order."
"I can't stand this. I'm going back to him now, excuse me." I walk out of her office and back into the med bay, Anakin stands when I walk in and sees my anger and makes a quick exit. I sit beside Obi-Wan and rest my head on the side of his bed. "Can you believe them? They wanted you to die out there, I'm in trouble just because I saved you. I couldn't watch you die, and now they want me sent back to Tatooine or to the front lines. Please wake up." I whisper, squeezing his hand gently.
TWO DAYS LATER
I made the mistake of falling asleep, I was so exhausted from attempting to monitor his body's stability that my body had given in to its sleep. The droids monitored him 24/7 no matter if I was there or not, but I wanted to be there for Ben. I didn't want him to wake up alone in a sterilized hospital room with droids poking at him. I know that if I was hurt like this he would stay with me when he could. I woke up when I felt his hand shift in mine and I sat up quickly and watched as he stirs slowly. I watch his heart rate go up to a steady rate, I check the rest of his stats and they seem balanced out and when I look back at him his eyes and he looks around disoriented and helplessly scared. I sit back down by his side and carefully remove the ventilator so he feels somewhat normal. "Ben, can you hear me? it's me you're safe here." His chest gently rises and falls with small shaky breaths as I set it to the side. Panic fills his eyes and he can't move his head that much because of his position. "Y/n... where.. are you?" His good hand reaches out and I press my fingers into his palm and his rise settles. His anxiety dissipates and he lets out a sigh of relief. "Good, relax, you're in good hands."
"You saved me right? T-This isn't fake.. tell me it's not. Not another dream.." He tilts his head to look over at me and I'm not sure what to say. His lips part and Ben looks at me desperate for an answer. Why would he think it's fake? Maybe it's the initial confusion, he just woke from dreaming so he could think it's another vision. I squeeze his hand and shake my head. "Of course not, I'm real and you're back on Coruscant. You aren't dreaming Ben. I'm here for you, always." Not for long, especially if they send me away, but maybe he can forget about me after a while. I doubt it will ruin him too badly, I'd have to break the news to him later. His hand trembles in mine and he weakly smiles as his eyes look over my face. "hmm...I love you.... so pretty.." He murmurs, reaching up to twirl with a strand of my hair. "So much flattery from you today." My fingers tap his forearm and he laughs but quickly realizes it hurts too. "Be careful, you took a lot of severe injuries out there." His eyes trail down at his sling and gasps, "m-my arm, I can't fight- oh.. the council.. they'll hate me.." He says as his heart rate rises while looking at the wrapped arm.
I put my hand gently on his chest to calm him and he stills quickly. "I'm sure they'll understand, everyone gets injured every once in a while. You deserve the rest. You work so hard all the time, I'm proud of you." I. reach up, running my fingers through his loose hair and he blushes, a wave of peace flows over him. He settles back and his eyes shut. This is so oddly different from the usual controlled general I always see, it must be from the delirium and lack of energy to control his feelings and words. "Always too kind, such- a.. beautiful angel.." He whispers and opens his eyes to look at me again. "Oh Ben.. hey do you need food, water, anything?" He nods, "Water." His voice has been pretty raspy, I send a droid to get some water and small easy snacks to digest. His stomach could be sensitive since he hasn't eaten in days. His fingers run down my cheek and collar and his small smile is so cute as he admires me. The door whisks open and he pulls back as a droid brings back a cup of water and I carefully line it up with his lips and he drinks from it and Ben's hand holds to my wrist controlling how much he takes in. Once he's had enough I pull back and set the cup on the tray beside him.
Ben clears his throat and I hand him some a soft bread roll and he eats it faster then I thought was possible. "Woah hey slow down you may choke." He reluctantly controls himself with the rest of the small snacks. "Can I sit up? It's hard to look at you like this." He says reaching for the controls on the side of the bed, his voice is back to the normal smooth tone, he might be regaining himself. "Of course, tell me to stop if it hurts," I push a button on the panel and elevate him to a comfortable incline. "Much better, I've been lying around for too long, my back is stiff." He murmurs and tries to lift his shirt to see the cut on his side but it's covered with a Bacta patch. "You've had to treat it so many times. Did you do this again?"
"Of course I did, I couldn't bring myself to trust those other nurses. Plus I know how much you like me treating your little wounds."
He blushes, caught in his ways, "Maybe, it's because you're the best medic in the whole galaxy, and the prettiest too." There it is, his cheeky compliments always slither their way into our conversations. I can't say that I hate it though. I roll my eyes and send the empty tray back with the droid and as the doors open someone walks in. "Good to see you're awake, General Kenobi." I recognize him, he's that rude council man. "How long was I out?" Ben looks at me confused. "Nearly 4 days. But you needed that rest to recover."
"Hm how exactly did our best Jedi nearly fall to the hands of a mere bounty hunter? A lapse in judgement maybe? At least you killed him." He murmurs and I feel a rush of anger and stand between the two Jedi. "Master, now is not the time. He's just woken up from an extremely traumatic series of events and injuries, I would request that you show some sort of sympathy for the best General you have. Was it you who wanted him dead?" I whisper carefully pushing him back but he doesn't move. "I'd request that you control your temper... slave." He murmurs and pushes past me with ease. “I’m not a slave, I’m the best medic your order has.” I keep a steady divider between him and Ben and he crosses his arms. “Obi-Wan, we need to speak privately. Send her away.” He waves me away, but Ben’s jaw clenches with anger and he is left to make a difficult choice. “She’s monitoring me, it’s only her job Master Windu. What do you need from me?” So that’s his name.. Whatever. He doesn’t like that answer but puts up with it anyway. “You are demanded by the council, you must go now they are discussing your near failure against Jango Fett.” He glares down at Ben angrily. “With all due respect, master, I can’t move that well.. I just woke up from multiple days of being unconscious, it hurts just speaking to you.” He looks down at his sling with a sigh but Windu doesn’t seem to like that either.
“Surely you can stand. Get him unattached from all this and bring him to the council. If you fail to do so, maybe the council can discuss your boarding on the next ship to your home, Tatooine.” He murmurs and then calmly walks out as if he didn’t threaten my whole life here. The doors slide shut and Ben sighs already attempting to sit up but groans in pain. “Hey you can’t walk, this won’t work. I mean this- he is so unbelievably– insane to think you can make it to that meeting. Oh my stars he is still just as cruel as he once was.” I stand up and try to steady his trembling body but he gently pushes my fingers off of him.
“Please, just let me do this–” He winces again, clutching his shoulder.“I’m sure I’m fine, I’ve had too much rest anyways.” He tries again to get up but his arm gives out on him, his frustration grows and I wished he would just stay here. “I won’t let them send you back to Tatooine.” He gasps for breath and finally reaches for me. I don’t want him to be ridiculed by the Council, but he’s dead-set on going. I’d rather be sent away than see him in pain.
“I just need some help—- really it doesn’t.. hurt—-” He weakly sits up and his seething cry cuts him off entirely. I caught him, quickly helping him stay upright so his back wouldn’t take the impact of the fall. “You shouldn’t have to see me like this really— I’m not some vulnerable, weak mess— This isn’t me..” He murmurs, his cold expression breaking and one small tear rolls down his cheek. I tilt my head to look at him and he turns away to hide his emotions. My heart aches for him, I just want him to recover, to have a few days of peace. Pushing all of his energy into one quick movement, Ben flings his legs over the side of the hospital bed.
He cries out and his body lurches forward and I barely catch him before he hits the floor. He pants breathlessly and I look up to see the pain in his eyes. His hand reaches over his wounded side and his shoulders slump forward with pain. “Come on, talk to me.” I gently pat his face and he shakes his head trying to stay strong. “Ben please, are you lightheaded? Legs numb? What is it?” He doesn’t speak, and makes attempts to get up, but his pain only multiplies. “Please let me help you, don’t put your body under any more stress.” His hand rips out the IV in his arm and he bites on his tongue. “Ben, stop, this is insane!”
“I’m fine! I can do this on my own.” His voice cracks and he manages to get himself on his feet, moving past me and towards the door. I run after him praying he doesn’t make his injuries worse. “Ben please, I just want you to be safe!” “I called after him. He almost turned at the sound of his name, but locked himself down tighter instead.” “Stop calling me that! I need to go to this meeting— and then you won’t be sent away. If they see me with you it will ruin your life. I sensed it in Master Windu, he was already catching on to us!” He huffed, overwhelmed with frustration. I ball my fists into my dress and push back a cry. Tears well in my eyes as I try to stay by his side. “We wouldn’t have to sneak around anymore,” I pleaded, stepping toward him. “We could be something good, Ben. Really good, and you hate to recognize that.” His hands tighten over his head in his hair. “Don’t ask me a question you already know the answer to. I’m a Jedi, you're a leader, it was never meant to work.”
And with that He stumbles through the doors and out in front of the Jedi Council, I have no choice but to stay back in the shadows and listen. They can feel your emotions, I need to control myself.. I lean against the wall covering my mouth to stop my cries from slipping out. Focusing back on Ben, his body looked weak and devastated as he could hardly stand up straight. He kept his eyes down and waited for someone to say something, but he was overflowing with fear and torn between what was right to feel, and what to suppress.
I know that look, so long ago he always did it when he didn’t want to feel something. When he locked things away in his mind. It hurts so badly to watch him suffer because of me. It’s my fault he’s feeling this way. Yoda speaks first, “Injured he is, why might he be here? Call for Kenobi, I did not.” He looks around questioning the others. Windu nods, “You might not have, but the others did.”
Yoda nods and clasps his hands over his staff ready to listen to this monster group. Ki-Ad Mundi speaks first, “I want to know how a bounty hunter caused our top General to look like whatever this wreck in front of me is.” He waves at Kenobi’s broken arm. “You were reckless and nearly cost the Council dearly.” His Hologram’s voice echoes through the silent room. Plo Koon says next, “At least Jango Fett is dead.” He tries to defend Ben, but is cut off by Windu. Plo Koon has always favored Ben, but can’t fight off the other council members. “But are we sure of that? He could’ve gotten away and received medical attention. What if Kenobi didn’t even finish his simple mission.” Ben winces from the harsh blow of the words, but decides not to defend himself. Why wouldn’t he? I would’ve if they spoke to me like that, I’m angry just from hearing this utter mockery of him.
“We put him on this because he was “hurt.” But it seems he may need something even more dumbed down. I mean can we really consider making a man that looks like that, a Master Jedi? He’s borderline pathetic.” Is this really how Jedi are supposed to speak? My fists clenched at my sides and I bit my tongue holding back my anger. “Yes, he’s been off his game lately, it leads me to believe that something is on his mind. He doesn’t even have control of his emotions now. Should we get a mental reading done?” Ben looks down at his feet in shame and shuts his eyes. “I apologize, but I’m still under the influence of medication. I beg the council to consider my failure as my only slip up thus far into my career.” He nods. His voice is shaky as he begs for their sympathy but receives nothing.
“Yet you let your Master die.” Someone speaks up and he blinks rapidly trying not to lose control of his tears and sadness. I hold my breath ready to stop him from collapsing as he slowly sways back and forth. “I was a Padawan and blocked by lasers. I’d like to remind you that I still killed Darth Maul as only an apprentice, but you are right, I let him die, but I regret that mistake everyday.” He fights desperately to defend himself but they tear him apart. “He needs some months off anyways, there’s nothing else we can do. Get him out of here. He’s a desperate wreck.” They wave him away and then someone leans forward. “And since y/n likes to eavesdrop let’s consider her situation and act of disorder.” A hologram calls out and I slowly step out of the shadows.
OBI-WAN’S POV
I stand in horror as they call her to make a stand in the middle. She did what she was supposed to do, she brought me here. What's the matter now? I slump against the wall and crumple to the floor barely sitting up to watch her. I’m exhausted from not only keeping myself upright, but suppressing every emotion that inevitably bubbled over. “See how quickly they turn on you? Over one failure? Imagine how they will treat your lover. An outsider, a pathetic slave in their eyes. Will you let them take her away?” I shake my head and drown out the words that are getting more and more truthful.
But I don’t know if I could let her go, I couldn’t imagine her being banished from Coruscant. I’d never see her again. My hands shook against my knees and I dropped my head trying to find some sort of comfort.
“Not only did you breach the rules by leaving Coruscant without an assignment, you took another Jedi and Queen Amidala and put them in massive danger. We told you he was KIA, that means you don’t use hyper drive and waste fuel to go there. What you have done is unacceptable, and I will not stand for it.” Master Windu crosses his arms and looks at the rest of the council.
She thinks for a moment and then comes back with a fury of passion. She throws her hands up and storms towards Master Windu pointing her jaded words directly at him. He shows no fear of her, but keeps the distance. “Clearly he wasn’t killed! So you jumped the gun and just expected him to be dead. Is that really the Jedi way? Make an assumption and hope that he’s dead?” Her body shakes with anger and she puts her hands over her head, walking back to the middle, now addressing the full council.
It slowly hits me, this anger of hers, it’s not from hatred. It’s because of her love. Her love for– me. She’s this fired up because they had forsaken my safety and health. It made my heart swell with warmth for her, if anything it only made me fall harder. “Fall harder for a girl they despise..” My eyes fly open and I listen back into her fiery words.
“You would rather make a guess and leave him to bleed out in a foreign cave alone, then to use a little bit of fuel to save his life. I mean what are you thinking?!” She searches for someone and then she points Ki-Adi-Mundi out, “You!” She yells, staring into his soul. “Yes, you bald ugly creature, it was you who said he was one of the best Generals, but all of you were so eager to mark him as dead! I saved a life! That should be celebrated not shunned. He should be comforted, not forced out of his hospital bed and dragged in front of you heartless people, every single one of you is no better than the Sith!” People erupt and horrified looks are exchanged, but she only turns to look at me. A cold silence falls over the group as they process what she just called them. She speaks first, continuing her case.
“The only one who has some sort of dignity is Yoda, and he’s old and green! Sorry Master Yoda, I have a lot of respect for you, but you get the point.” Yoda laughs and nods. “Speaking only truths you are, continue young one.” She gets a boost of confidence and delivers one last blow.
“You don’t deserve Kenobi. You don’t deserve the blood and sweat and tears he puts into this damned order! Because all of you know that if you were in need of saving Obi-Wan would be the first person there to help!” She slams down a medical file on the floor and turns on her heel and grabs my good arm leading me out of the room and back to my bed. Once the door shuts I cave, leaning into the soft folds of her dress, seeking the comfort she always provides.I bury my face in her shoulder and everything about her is so lovely.. “I think I love you dear.” I murmur, admiring her previous courage. She laughs and helps me get comfortable again as I sit on the bed. “You’ve said that a lot lately.”
“And I mean it everytime.” I kiss the side of her collar and pull away to start getting ready to get some sleep to cure my exhaustion. Y/n sits on the edge of the bed, still slightly frustrated from the Council’s actions. “I’m sorry for my outburst, I just- Ugh, those people make me angry. But.. Yoda agreed with me. Not like it will mean anything though. They’ll 100% want me gone. But maybe now they’ll learn to treat you better.”
I lean back against the bed and she slowly lowers it down so I’m flat on my back. “I love you too Ben.” She gave me a quick kiss before gathering clean blankets that smelled reminiscent of the flowers from Naboo. Gently she lays them over me. “You don’t have to worry about them, just get some sleep.” Her soft hands tuck me in and pat my chest and I look up at her beaming. I could never get over how passionate she was for standing up to people. She cared so much about everyone, and luckily she cares for me too. “Thank you. For all of it y/n. Truly, I owe my life to you.” Her fingers push through my hair and I instantly blush, oh stars, how I loved when she did that to me.
Her thumb ran circles over the side of my jaw and beard while she smiled, looking at me with those angel eyes of my dreams. “Goodnight my handsome Jedi.” She teases me, and then leans down pressing a deep kiss over my lips. My eyes shut as I melt back into the rigid hospital bed. Her kisses were addicting, they stayed on my mind, in my dreams, in everything I did. My heart aches when she pulls back and shuts off the lights. She reaches to the table and leaves a soft lamp on, the light casting a glow over her. How is she not an angel? “I’ll be off to the side if you need me ok? Get some good sleep.”
“Jedi aren’t supposed to feel the way you do about her. How will they act when they inevitably find out? Will they plan another way to kill you off?” And suddenly the warmth of her love was replaced by the coldness of the dark side infiltrating my mind yet again, but sometimes their words made all too much sense.
THE NEXT MORNING:
Usually after near life threatening injuries, I can never seem to sleep. However, whether it was her kiss or the heavy doses of painkillers that caused the best sleep of my life, I couldn’t really tell. Now waking up wasn’t as easy, as I got a quick reminder that my arm was broken when I tried rolling on my side. My shoulder throbbed with a slow dull pain, it came over me in waves.
I fumble around for the remote to the bed and push it to sit me up a little so I could stay awake, while I was injured the Council would most likely put me in as many boring info meetings as they could just to keep me busy. If you’re not ready for their call, they tend to get frustrated. The real question would be, how do I shower? I feel gross, which I know that someone had to have bathed me when I got here, but it hasn’t happened since, most likely because there were no male nurses. I’d find a way right now actually..
“Y/n? Are you awake yet? Sorry if you aren’t but I do have a question.” I ask slowly pushing myself to the end of the bed, I was going to make another weak attempt of standing up on my own. Oh how embarrassing it was yesterday when I was a crumpling mess in front of her. I promised myself I’d never let her see me like that again, I wanted her to let me suffer on my own, as it was less humiliating. I’d also been too vulnerable with her, and having those emotions right before seeing the council could’ve been devastating. It kind of was, but I managed to make it seem as if I was just weak.
I walked around the small hospital room looking for her but there was not a trace of her to be seen. Her small bed nook by the window was completely taken apart, her blankets scattered on the floor. “How uncivilized.” I laugh to myself and check in the bathroom but she’s not in there either. Hm. Must’ve gotten some breakfast, maybe she’ll bring something back for me. I’m quite tired of crackers and simple foods.
I slowly sat down in the cushioned visitor chair and leaned back. It felt good to be out of bed, but I still felt dizzy on my feet. It takes a lot of energy from me to stay balanced physically and mentally with the force. I hated the feeling of my messy hair over my face, it was messing with me, the stupid stuff just isn’t cooperating anymore.
The door slides open and I see a tray of food. “Y/n you’re back! Thought you ditched me for a second– wait.” The door fully reveals who it is, and it’s 100% not my angel. I look up at her confused and she sets the tray in front of me, without a word and turns around to walk away. “Hey wait, who are you? I think you’ve got the wrong patient.” I look down at the tray, it’s just toast and a dairy cup, how disappointing. “Sir, you are Obi-Wan Kenobi correct?” I nod pushing the tray back. “Well then I have the right man. I’m your new nurse, Mira.”
New nurse? What in the stars is happening right now? I shift in my seat uncomfortably, maybe the council called for her to be removed from my medical unit, which is fair but why not say that in the meeting? “Where’s y/n?”
Mira led out a deep sigh and folded her arms over her chest. Her eyes cast downward, and she seemed mad about the replacement herself based on the way her frustration flowed out of her. “Sorry, I’m sure you are a good nurse but it’s just not common that they switch you guys around. She was good too, and saved my life. Truly a lovely woman.” I snap out of my rambling and she just smirks. “You had a crush on your nurse didn’t you? Is that why you miss her General?”
Why are so many people able to read my mind nowadays? This is plain foolish, but to be fair I was daydreaming about her. “No. Jedi don’t have romantic relations. Anyways, where is she now?” Mira shook her head and with a roll of the eyes, she dropped heart-shattering news. “She was accused of attempting to seduce a Jedi. Really I’m not supposed to speak of it, but she raised me in the medical field, we were good friends.”
I run my hand up the side of my face and stop to think, an accusation doesn’t mean a conviction. They probably just scolded her, but that meant it was my fault. I must’ve shown too much emotion around her, they connected the dots. “Then what happened?”
“They determined she could cause a fall to the dark side and sent her back to Tatooine. It’s really tragic, but she should’ve known not to fall in love with a Jedi. They didn’t even let her pack, just scooped her up and left.” They took her while I was sleeping?! I should’ve heard them. Surely I would’ve woken up right? I mean she would’ve made a huge ruckus over the whole thing, or they put a dart in her, maybe an injection. But sending her back to Tatooine is an extreme. I feel my chest tighten and I lurch forward at the sudden pull of pain. I gasp for air but come up short.
My blood boils. My body trembles as the weight of the news hits, it’s sharp, violent, and final. I can’t dream of the day she’ll come back for me, because it can’t happen. Once a banishment like that happens it’s never reversed.
I went from numb to feeling it everywhere, as if I was cut in thousands of pieces. I collapsed sideways, pain shooting up my ribs as my knees slammed the cold floor. A groan tears from my throat, and tears blur my vision. My heart pounds faster and faster against my skin, and it’s progressively harder and harder to breathe. “General Kenobi?!” Mira yells and rushes to sit beside me, but her hands aren’t like y/n’s, and her attempt at comforting me doesn't work, because she doesn’t have the beautiful voice of my angel. She pushes me on my back and her cold fingers press to my neck, I writhe against her trying to get her hands off of me, but she doesn’t move. Mira, all precision and professionalism, but none of Y/n’s warmth was there to fix my pain.
“Get off of me!” I yell using all the motion I could to push her away and she flings backwards and grabs a comlink. “Aggressive patient, Floor 3, Room 9.” She shouts and throws it down. I push myself up in the corner. “Where is she?” I cry into my hands and her fingers try to peel my arms away but I bat her back. “I don’t want a different nurse! I want her. Bring her back!” Mira again stumbles backwards and I hear the door push open and a rush of footsteps come in. My vision blurs, and my mind goes blank. As I see the rush of security, all I feel is anger. My lightsaber flies off the table into my hands and a look of pure horror flashes in Mira’s eyes.
“General Kenobi, stop what are you doing?! We just want to help you!” She puts her hands up and starts backing away. The security in the door freezes and my body pulses with blind panic. A guard takes the opportunity to rush forward with a needle injection, and without a second thought the humming of the laser slices through his chest. Mira screams and runs out of the room and the security follows in her steps. “Alert the council!” Mira cries out as the door cuts her off.
My eyes trail down to the fallen man in front of me, his skin seared from the quick hit and my heart drops. I just killed a member of the Jedi Order. I pick up the needle from his cold fingers and stab it into the side of my neck, trying to find some resort of peace, but I can’t get the sight out of my mind. My thumb presses hard against the injector and the liquid rushes through my veins, I let out a sigh of relief and my eyes fall shut.
General Kenobi, a top ranked Jedi, killed a man who was merely here to protect my safety and the nurse. Convulsions of pain rip through my body and slowly my world dims as I fall to my knees. A sharp pain hits my chest and my body goes numb, the loud clank of a saber hitting the ground interrupts the loud silence. My head spins and with a sharp gasp my hand flies over my broken heart and my body hits the floor.
“Once a noble Jedi, now the murderer of an innocent man.. What a fall you have taken. Ben. I know it nags at you, the loss of your love, your dignity, even your health, down the drain in a matter of days. Only I can fix you now..”
Chapter 12
Summary:
Y/n is sold back to traders on Tatooine, Obi-Wan of course crashes out far too much.
Chapter Text
Y/N’S POV
“Where are you taking me?” I cry into the black mask over my head but receive no response, a blaster butts into my back, pushing me up the ramp of a ship with no patience. “Stop talking.” A filtered voice said behind me, I had no way out. I was being kidnapped, and the Jedi were nowhere to be found. I woke up with a gun to my head, I was forced to leave Ben alone without saying a word to him.
I’m shoved down into a seat and another man roughly grabs my wrists and snaps shut tight cuffs around my wrists, the sharp petal pinches my skin. I hear ruffling and then more shackles are wrapped around my ankles. I bite my lip, stifling a cry. I just got to reunite with him, saved his life, kissed him, and I thought things were somewhat in the clear. But I should’ve known something like this would’ve happened. This had to be the doing of either the Jedi, or the Sith holding me hostage to torment Ben. Either way, when word gets out about this, he will be devastated.
The mask is ripped off, pulling my hair with it, I cry out in pain but only feel a cold slap to the cheek. I lurch forward but I can’t defend myself. “Who are you?!” I spit at his feet and he scoffs. He takes off his helmet and has a big grin. “Slave Trader. I was called here by the council. Said you were a refugee or some garbage like that. It was a long trip, but you’ll make a pretty penny.” His gloved fingers trail up the side of my face and I feel disgusting. “Such a hot face, might have to keep you for myself sweetheart.” I hold back my vomit and look down at the floor trying to escape his botched face.
“Hm.. Whether you like it or not, you’ll come around to me. It’s a long trip, so you have plenty of time.” He laughs and pushes hard on my shoulder, my back slamming against the steel backing of my chair. I wince but it only brings him more pleasure. “Such a fragile thing, how were you ever a slave?” The crooked man puts his hands on his hips and walks out of the room and into the cockpit. I shut my eyes, making a weak attempt at holding back tears. The Jedi Order betrayed me, I didn’t think they would actually resort to it but here I am. Going back to Tatooine, the place I prayed I’d never have to see again. My wrists ache against the iced steel constraints, the cuff digs into my skin, giving no mercy. I try twisting my hand to get some room but a sharp edge cuts into the side of my wrist.
Ben could save me, maybe the tables turn in my favor? But there is a high chance they hide my location from him. That’s if he even wants to rescue me at this point, all I’ve brought him is pain. “My fate’s in your hands now.” I murmur, my eyes falling shut, but right when I’m ready to let go and try to make this pain go by faster by sleeping, a cold hand is back, slapping my face. “Get up! You can’t be that tired you slob you just got here. I was going to keep you chained up but this piece of junk needs cleaning.” A key slots into my cuffs and red lines are left dug into my skin, small scabs of dried blood dot them, and my ankles aren’t much better.
“Aw did that hurt? Get on the floor.” The man’s voice is sharp and harsh as his steel boot meets the backs of my legs and I slam down onto the steel tiles. He tosses a rag down on me and slams a bucket of water down as it splashes over my hair and face. “Go on. Get to scrubbing.” He prods at my side with his foot and I weakly push myself up onto my hands and knees. I reluctantly pick up the rag and drench it in the strong cleaner.
He looks down at me with a stupid smile and watches me crawl around on the floor. “I think I like this one.” He murmurs and I roll my eyes holding back the bile from his disgusting voice. I wipe the red mud and sand from the cracks in the flooring, keeping my head hung low avoiding the off putting sight of the man. I had almost finished cleaning, and I guess he noticed that too, because he slammed his foot into the bucket, sending it flying, sploshing water everywhere. “Oops.” He grins and throws towels at me.
The rough clothes hit my face and I take a deep breath holding back my anger. My fists clench in the towels as I wipe the floor. He stands over me the whole time, his beady little eyes looking me up and down. “Don’t just stare at me, I gave you a job.” His boot slams into my side and the cold suds soak into my dress. I pull at the now icy cold fabric to try to get it off my skin, but it sticks. I’m nearly freezing, I push myself back up to my hands and knees and shut my eyes as I wipe the floor trying to drown out the hatred.
Happy thoughts… clear your mind… hmm.. “You’re scum, this is taking too long.” He groans and reaches down to hit me again but I sweep his legs out from under him and reach for the silver gun tucked in his waistband. “What the- get back you filthy–” I rip it from him and fall to the back of the room pointing it at his chest. His arms shoot up and his eyes are full of fear.
“Let’s just think about this for a second..” He murmurs slowly, stepping closer but I fire a shot straight into his chest. He crumples to the ground with a loud cry and whimpers at the pain. It fills me with satisfaction seeing that scumbag like this. I shoot another bullet into his thigh and walk out of the room. “I’ll get you for this you dirty slave!” He screams like a girl as I walk into the cockpit.
A captain and a copilot, two easy kills and then this ship is mine. I aim the gun at the back of the head of the pilot and prepare to pull the trigger when large arms covered with scratchy hairs and scars wrap around my neck and drop me to the floor. The gun clatters against the ground along with any hope I had for making it out of here. “Get off of-” My voice is cut off as the arms around me snap tighter, cutting off my breathing. I dig my nails into his arms but it doesn’t phase him.
“Taine! Throw me that taser. I’m putting this filth to sleep.” He whispers the last words into my ear and I writhe against him trying to break free but it’s no use. A sharp electric sting pulses through me and waves of pain shoot through me. He drops me, but keeps the taser pressed into my arm as my body convulses on the floor. “Go put her in higher security.” Someone laughs as cracked hands pull me upwards before I faint.
The first thing I felt was a tight corset snapped shut around my waist, on the back was a buckle strapped into the wall, it was cutting off my breathing, leaving just enough to keep me awake. Once again my hands were chained tightly and a heavy metal ball was tied to my ankle. The way I was positioned made it nearly impossible to lift my head, it hung low and my body sagged from hanging by my arms.
It was double the pain I felt in the beginning, and I’d have to ride like this all the way until Tatooine. Throughout the trip not once did they feed me, hydrate me, or even come into the room. It was pitch black and showed pure isolation. My eyes fell shut as I attempted to practice what Ben showed me. “Don’t speak, only feel.” Anger, desperation, loneliness, and a crippling fear for my life. I just need to clear my head, think of something good, but I can’t think of Ben or it only leads me in a circle. Padme, no, it only reminded me of him.
I eventually gave up, there was no way for it to work when my happy place turned bitter.
2 DAYS LATER
I woke up as I fell to the ground, my cuffs had been removed, but that was all. I was stuck in the corset harness thing, and the ball and chain. Which I later was attached to a line of other women by the harness before the ship door flung open. We were rushed out into the hot desert heat with kicks to the back or hard shoves with the butt of a gun.
I felt entirely too weak to breathe, much less walk, but if I didn’t they’d beat me more, and still make me move. I kept my head down hoping to just get this over with, once I’m sold I can run easier. I’m not under consistent supervision, maybe the master would be oblivious. While I’m not sure where the man I shot was, I was glad I haven’t seen him since. 99% of me hoped he was dead. We soon arrived at a shop in the dusty town where the richer folk of Tatooine would go to buy. The first girl to go was a teen, she wasn’t a human, but I’m not really sure what she is, but she was pretty and looked strong.
Things really weren’t looking good for me, I was starved for days and the cuffs had made my wrists bleed down my hands and every breath felt increasingly difficult. “What is this thing?” I cough looking over at the girl beside me. “It’s a tracker, kinda a mark that you’re a slave. It’s only for the worst ones because it controls your energy.”
“I’m not some dog!” I snap and look back at the greedy men. “I’ll take the dying one I guess.” Someone huffed with a sense of superiority, a fat blob he was. He tossed a few coins at the trader and I was released from the line. The blob dragged me outside and chained onto a wagon and hopped in the seat. A few other girls and a younger boy were in the same situation I was, following slowly behind him.
“You’re different.” The young boy says looking back at my face, his short brown hair blew around with the dry wind as his green eyes stared at me with too much curiosity. “I’m not from here if that’s what you are insinuating.” He nods. “Your clothes are fancy. Were you rich?” I roll my eyes and catch myself day dreaming of Coruscant again. The beautiful interior, my magical dresses that lined my wardrobe. What a downgrade this was. “Sort of. I lived with the Jedi. They banished me here.”
His eyes widened, “You mean real Jedi?! No way! Wait, are you evil? Why would they banish you?” He leans back dragging his feet in the sand. “No. It’s not exactly for you to know why I was sent away. It’s a bit personal. What’s your name anyways?”
He smiles and goes to speak but the wagon picks up the pace and yanks on his chest. He lunges backwards hitting the cart. “Ow! Hey mister, that hurts!” He yipes and I can’t help but laugh. “I’m Siran. I didn’t get banished, but my dad couldn’t afford me or something, so he sent me to this weird creature. He got money for it though, so I’m sure it was worth it.” His voice trailed off weakly as sadness casts over him.
“I’m sorry bud. How about when I get out of here I bring you with me. Back to the Jedi?” I pat his shoulder and he lights up. “I didn’t know that was possible! I’d love to! But am I old enough? My dad said I was kind of too young to be good at anything.” How could anyone say such a thing to such a wonderful kid? “Well how old are you?”
“9! But I’m almost 10, my birthday is in a few weeks!” I pretend to think about our fake age restrictions and then answer. “Yes, I believe you’re old enough, so when I go, I'll bring you with me. A huge smile forms as he turns back around and jumps with joy as we make our way out to the home of the new master.
Obi-Wan Kenobi’s POV
“Do you realize what you’ve done?” Windu scolds me with a fury of hatred. “Yes Master Windu. I apologize, but you remind me of this everyday.” I keep my eyes on the floor. “Why? Why’d you kill him? Come on, tell the whole council on why you had this outburst. You are yet to be honest with us.” He waves his hands and sighs. “I was overwhelmed.” This was the third time over the span of 3 days that they’ve chastised me for murder. They wanted a reason, but I was always hesitant to give it. But today they threatened me with a mind reading if I didn’t speak.
“By?”
“A loss.” I murmur blinking rapidly to keep my tears from spilling over. “A loss of who, Kenobi?” Windu pushes further and further, it’s like he’s provoking me once again. It’s a struggle to breathe normally, and controlling the breakage in my voice is even more impossible. “Y/n My nurse. She was banished under harsh circumstances and you shouldn’t have done that. All of you were just bitter that she told the truth. I want you to-” I stop before I make things worse, but my frustration with the council is clear.
Many of them shake their heads in disappointment. Ki- Adi- Mundi clicks his tongue. “I knew it. The second we gave her to those traders, I just knew Kenobi would act out like this. We should’ve seen the attachment sooner. It makes me wonder if there was an act of intimacy that made this bond.” No, don't go there, please let me live, let me keep some sort of dignity.
“Was there any romantic feelings for her, Kenobi?” He prods, it feels like they’re poking me with small needles, trying to get me to lash out but keeping an excuse to keep themselves clean. I shake my head no, but it doesn’t work. I should’ve been ready for this, I just hoped that they would be better than this. “Use your words.” Plo-Koon crosses his arms in his robes, listening intently. “Never.” I whisper, but the pain in my voice reveals the truth. “What is the extent of your intimacy with the nurse? How badly did you break the code?”
“I didn’t, but I would like to say that everything she said to you was true, and you guys simply threw it to the wind.” I snap, finally looking up to see the smirk on Windu’s face. “Let’s be honest, and maybe you can walk away from this with some dignity. It’s not like you’ll see her again, so stop fighting for her.” I hear him laugh about my pain, and it takes nearly everything in me to stop myself from killing him. Kill him? What? No, I wouldn't kill him. What have I become? When did I have this urge to kill, it scared me but it was so alluring. “I- I kissed her once– twice maybe. But I was under drugs, and she saved my life. I was emotional.”
“There it is. You were emotional. You let those feelings lead you to be a fool. Well, I feel we’ve already punished you then. She’s not here anymore so you won’t have to worry about being in defiance of the Jedi code. You caused yourself this pain.” Windu stands up and simply leaves. I look around at the other Jedi, and it’s horrified looks from everybody in the room, but all I can think about is her. Part of me still believed that when I would go to my hospital room, she would be waiting there for me.
“Why would you give her over to Tatooine? She was nearly killed and you want her to go back to her attackers? Her blood will be on your hands.”
Windu’s eyes narrow, and his hands clasp over his chest. “Who told you of these things?”
“Why does it matter? You’ve already done the damage, and you are a cruel man. The Sith would’ve treated her better than you have, they simply would’ve killed her instead of sending her to be tortured for life.”
“Both of you have spoken of the Sith in good light. It can only make a man wonder.. You are dismissed.” His hand waves me off and I struggle to hold back my words. Eventually I started back to the hospital room.
But when I got back all my things were outside the door. They were banning me from medical treatment for the next month. “Are you kidding me?” I slam on the door with my fist and try to open but it’s no use. Not only did I lose y/n, I’ve now lost all medical attention. I sling my bag over my shoulder and trudge my way across the temple back into my room and collapse on top of the bed. I can’t think of one person I could talk to about this, Anakin and Padme were gone again, and my happy place had been burned to the ground at the hands of the men who were supposed to support me through it all.
Images flooded my mind, y/n on Tatooine in pure agony and suffering. Images of her beaten and bruised, worked into the ground, tortured, and forced to the hands of the men working there. Her new owners seemed worse than the man who tried to kill her. Because instead of taking her life, they made it unbearable, and nearly impossible to withstand. But slowly the images shifted, a man in a black cloak stood on a cliff overlooking it all. “I could step in right now, save her life, maybe even bring her back to you Kenobi. You’d only owe me one favor. Do you want her to suffer like this? This is your fault…” I shake my head, “Who are you? Why are you on Tatooine with her?” A moment of silence.. “Don’t pay attention to such useless thoughts. Do you want her to die or not? You could join me in saving her, just come to Tatooine. Board a ship and leave now. The council is already angry, it’s not like you can win them over now.”
I shot up out of bed and quickly slid my belt around my waist, tucked my lightsaber in its pocket and threw my conveniently already packed bag over my shoulder. “Good…go board your ship.” I slowly opened my door and made soft steps through the hallway, it was later at night so not many were out. I pull my cloak’s hood over my head and make it down to the hangar. A few guards patrolled around the hangar, one in particular, blocking my ship’s entrance. “Now what?” I slip around the back of a fighter and move along the back wall. “Just kill him. You’ve done it before.” “But-” I step on a long metal pin and a snap echoes through the room. The guard sits up quickly and looks in my direction. “You don’t have a choice now. Are you going to let him stop you from saving your lover?”
“Who goes there?” The man’s voice shakes as he reaches for his gun. I step out of the shadows and pull down my hood. “I’m sure you recognize me, you were in my battalion correct?” His hand carefully moves back from his hip and he looks over me for a moment, “Oh yes! General Kenobi, good to see you again sir. But what are you doing down here?”
“I need to board my ship. I got assigned a mission, very undercover.” He smiled and then looked over at his friend. “Something wrong over there?” A man calls out, in a split moment I pull out my saber, “Tell him it’s clear.” I murmur and my former soldier slowly realizes what’s happening. “Um– y-y-yes sir. Just– sick."
“Good. Now come on, take me to my ship.” I take the gun from his hip and hold it to his back. “General, it’s prohibited-” I nudged him forward, “That doesn’t matter, just follow orders.” He takes a shaky breath and guides me away from security. Right before he opens the door he screams, “HELP SOUND THE—” The gun fires into his back and he crumples choking on his words. Not again, another crash of guilt hits me hard in the chest. I throw aside the gun and drop to his side. “Oh my—” I pull up his uniform and he shakes with tears. “General– why would you–” I searched for something to stop the bleeding, and the only solution was my cloak. I rip off one of the sleeves and press it into the wound. “I’m sorry, here I can help just hold still.” I look around for any sort of medical standby kits but there seem to be none.
“No! You just attacked me– what the–” I shake my head and focus on stopping the blood from pouring out of him. He’s not in the best condition, it’s shocking he can still talk. “Get off of me– you– you’re a sith aren’t you? You traitor scum! no.. wait no–” He gasps as I pull the cloth back and fling it to the ground. Jumping to my feet, I stand over him, watching my former soldier try to drag himself away.
“Kill him.”
The saber ignites in my hand and a blue glow casts over his face, illuminating the pure fear he has for me. And it feels good. It feels amazing to get it off of my chest, was this what I was made for? He’s scared of me, he sees me as a threat, not some fool he can chastise for a simple mistake, soon the council will feel the same way. “Obi-Wan, no wait you don’t have to do this.. Come on man we worked together. I won’t report–” His voice chokes out as I spin the saber and plunge it straight through his heart. He collapses off his elbow and chokes out blood.
“You enjoy it, you enjoy killing? What a monster. How could you have done that?”
No.. no not again. I’ve killed another innocent man, and this time he was injured and unarmed, who am I? Maybe I have fallen, no it can’t be but the Jedi could’ve been right, my passion has led to my downfall. They made me do this, they drove me to this point right? This can’t be who I truly am.
“I-I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean too-” I try to apologize, but he’s already gone. I stumble backwards bracing myself against the steel hull of a ship. I need to turn myself in, this was insane. I shouldn't be doing this. I need to listen to the council, I need to face the consequences. “NO!” The voice screams inside my head piercing my mind with a flash of pain.
"Don’t back down now. It’s too late, the council didn’t care about you then, and they won’t now. You’re a cold-blooded killer. You’ll be banished just like y/n.” I cover my ears and slam my head back into the ship trying to get him out of my head.
“Try to drown me out all you want but you know you enjoyed killing that man. Letting out all that anger, all that pain and frustration, he was just a vessel for you.”
“No! No stop!” My voice sounds off against the ships causing a loud yelling echo. Footsteps rush in with guns drawn. I need to turn myself in, I need to tell them about this man in my head, I can’t do this anymore, I’m a Jedi not a Sith. “I’m not listening to you again. I’m turning myself in, you are a cruel creature, I can stand it no longer.” I whisper and slowly step forward, ready to turn the corner. “Turn your back on me now, and I kill her, I’ll make sure her picture looks real nice on your hologram. So make your choice.” A vivid image of y/n flashes through my mind, her screaming in pain, and a cloaked man attacking her viciously. Festering wounds cover her once beautiful skin, and her face is streaked with tears. “Ben! Please, where are you?!” She cries over and over helplessly as I am nowhere to be seen.
The image fades to black, replaced with a group of troopers in front of me with guns drawn.
Chapter 13
Summary:
Obi-Wan falls deeper and deeper, slowly losing his grip on the Jedi Code. Y/n has to go through a lot of suffering,
TRIGGER WARNINGS
Y/N is sexually harassed, and touched slightly no full SA.
Obi-Wan has a mental collapse and maybe murders a hundred+ people..
This chapter is very dark, and it's only gonna get worse I fear.
Chapter Text
“You know what needs to be done.” Tears fall from my eyes as I back up against the ramp of the entrance to the ship. I have to kill them, or convince them to go away, but there’s no way they will forsake their orders. “General Kenobi! You’re banned from all carriers!” An officer yells pointing his blaster straight at me. “Just let me go, I don’t want to kill you. I can’t do this again.” Small droplets stream down my face and patter against the steel ramp. Slowly his eyes trail downwards to see the man I killed lying at the foot of the ramp.
“General, what have you done?! Stop and come back now! Turn yourself in, the consequence will be far lighter if you just cooperate.” He steps forward and I concentrate on his gun pulling it out of his hand and putting it into my belt with the force. The officer tries to hold his ground, but the tremble in his hands says otherwise about his mental state. “I need to get on this ship, and if it means killing you then that is what I will do.” Even my body betrayed me, while my voice was firm, my body shook with confusion and anger. I didn’t want to kill him, but it felt like my only option.
“You can’t kill an unarmed man. You’ll be no worse than a filthy sith.” He spits at my feet and I shake my head. “I’m not a sith! I’m not some evil person, nobody understands what I’ve been through!” I slam my fist into the cold steel doors and reel back curling my fingers through my hair. I feel like a madman, I’ve lost any form of control. “All I want is for her to be safe.”
“They took away one slave girl! You have so much more here. What’s gotten into you?!”
He steps forward and I hold my saber to his neck. “Don’t get closer or I swear-” My voice shakes and he realizes there may not be any hope left for me. But there is, why can’t they see that, I’m a good man! All I want is y/n back, once she’s home I can rest. His lips press into a thin line, and he takes one look back at his men before giving up.
“Then you are with them. You’ve gone astray, General. It was good knowing you, just know the Sith won’t treat her any better. She’lll be dead either way, the men of Tatooine probaly already killed her. This is a waste.” He turns on his heel and something rushes over me, my body moves faster than my mind and a deep hole is left in his stomach, his skin replaced with the humming blue laser of my weapon. “I knew you would do this.” His body drops and I kick hard into his side sending him flying off the ramp of the entrance. “She’s not dead! She can’t be, NO! She’s not dead, so help me if she is, I’ll kill every single one of you!” Messy strands of my hair fall over my face as I turn away.
All I feel is darkness, agony, anger, it consumes my mind, and my body. My heart races against my chest and my head pounds with adrenaline. I slam my fist into the panel to shut the door and sparks shoot out from it as the ramp slams upwards cutting me off from the troopers.
I should’ve killed all of them, they all were in support of that man. How dare he say that, I know she isn’t dead, that’s impossible. I can’t believe it. His men were too stunned to do anything, so I simply left, no other men stood up to me. I flick switches up and pull the gear shift down to engage take off. I flip on Hyperdrive and officially ditch the Jedi Order, for now of course. I’ll come back, explain myself, and hopefully they’ll understand. They must know that this was to save a woman’s life, how can I be corrupt if I want to save someone? Refocusing on the task at hand, I rip out the tracking chip and snap it between my fingers, watching the fragments fall at my feet. My body collapsed into the captain chair as I watched the swirls of hyperdrive take me away. I felt empty, but free. My head hung low, exhausted but I couldn’t push away the worries I had. My mind ran with the worst case situations, if she’s dead, hurt, assaulted, did they take advantage of her?
All of these things I failed to protect her from. She would surely hate me now.
”You’ve done good Kenobi, show her just how horrible you’ve become.” The voice never ceases to cause my blood to run cold, it pushes me to do wrong, and then chastises me for it. It interrupted my deep thoughts, and pushed me to worse. If I didn’t do what it wanted it would tear into me for being against my true self, but if I did wrong, it would shun me. But what I did was only wrong without context, without knowing the greater cause. “I’m tired of hearing you speak, I did what was right in the end.”
“Don’t disrespect me. You need me now more than you ever did. I’m all you have left in the galaxy.” I scoff at the foolish words, doesn’t he know I still have friends and y/n? “You know that’s not true. I’ve never needed you.” I laugh carefully maneuvering around the radar scan and pulling out of hyperdrive. The ship lurches forward now closer to the planet. “You won’t have y/n for long. She doesn’t seem to be doing so well, disrespect me again and I can rip her away in a moment’s notice Kenobi.”
I was about to mock him, but my words caught in my throat. My knuckles turned white over the steering and I kept my mouth shut, shifting my focus to get to Tatooine. “Good. You will learn to fear me soon enough.”
Y/N’s POV
“Well, Siran, I'm not really sure how to do that..” I looked down at the heavy machine that was made to sort through parts, but I had not the closest idea on how to turn it on. But what I did know was that it was Siran’s job, if he didn’t get it done he would be in trouble. The poor boy was so sweet, and it hurt me to see him punished. I wanted him to be on the owner’s good side. I wasn’t at the moment though.
They wanted me to walk around in this tight dress, I kept changing out of it, because I knew it was purely for sexualizing my body. I hated the thin scarlett material, and the incredibly tight corset that cut off my breathing severely. Small needles would poke in my skin, showing its poor design, but it also constantly left sore bruises over my skin. The dress was tight at the top, but flowed out from the corset, limiting my movement. They didn’t make me do hard work because of it, merely because they wanted me in their house all the time. They just loved looking and touching me, but it always made me want to vomit.
I attempted to climb over the top of the machine, but a fold of my dress was caught in the gears, so today I didn’t feel like detangling it, so I simply ripped it off and Siran pulled the loose cloth out of the gear hold. This consistently made my head boss angry, I always caught a beating for it but I could care less. I hated it, maybe he would stop fixing it.
“Okay there’s a big switch up here, I’m just not sure what it does.” I looked down at the brown haired boy and he seemed lost. “Uh try it I guess? I’m not sure. I never worked on machines with my family.” I flipped it over and a loud humming came from the engine, the machine began to shake under me and I took it as a sign to jump away. I landed on the ground and rolled in the sand to brace my landing, a sharp rock cut into my collar ripping the dress and a bit of my skin, but it didn’t hurt too bad, I’m sure it’s fine, but another thing he would hate to fix.
I wiped off the little bit of blood and watched as the machine began to make strange noises, metals squealed and crunched against each other. “Are you sure it’s supposed to do that?” A thin strap of metal flung over our heads and I took that as a sign. “No. But I can’t go in there now. It’s incredibly dangerous.”
“Well should I do it?” He shoves his hands deep in the pockets of the itchy sackcloth of his pants. “No, let’s just wait for a master.” His anxiety grew, “No they’ll be mad at me, I’m supposed to have this done. Now what do I do?” He paces back and forth, but I make quick work to put my arm over his shoulder and he leans into the fabric of my dress seeking safety. “Don’t worry, I’ll take the blame for it, I started the thing up.”
“No.. that’s not fair. I should’ve done it.” He murmurs as his fingers tangle through the maroon folds. He was such a sweet kid, nobody deserves this kind of punishment. “Siran, I promise you they won’t be mean. They like us, so don’t worry about all that.” I pat his hair and he finally steps back, hopefully feeling better about the situation. Well until the mad man arrived.
“What in the world is happening to my machine?! Siran you messed it up!” Our overseer storms out from his office and stands in front of him. I gently step in between the two and look the angry man in the eye. Siran’s hands find the side of my dress again, hiding behind me. “With all due respect, I told him I could do it better and when I tried, well– it failed. He tried telling me I was wrong, I just didn’t listen.”
His eyes travel down to the cut across my collar, and the rips in the dress as he slowly nods. “What happened to that dress? I swear if you did that on purpose, I just fixed the stupid thing!” I roll my eyes, “I told you I hated it. You just like it because it leaves me half naked like a whore. So stop fixing it, I don’t want to wear it.” I snap, and immediately receive a sharp stinging hand to the face. I fall backwards, land hard on my back and I hear Siran suck in a breath of worry, as he tries to brace my fall. “Are you ok?” He says shakily. “Yes, it’s ok, how about you go watch over the speeders for now? I’ll be fine.” I whisper and he’s hesitant to leave, but slowly makes his way out.
“You’ll wear that dress whether you like it or not! You got spoiled with all those fancy senate dresses, and I think this suits you much better. So stop complaining!” He spits on me, and that was all it took for me to stand up, and kick hard between his legs, he instantly groans and stumbles back. “You’ll pay for that one.” He murmurs and I take the opportunity to land a few much deserved punches. “I hate you! You are ugly and filthy Tatooine scum!” I yell swatting at him and scratching into his back. “Just you wait.” He sadly finally fights back, gripping my arm and dragging me into my “timeout” which is really just a hot cave, where he chains me to the wall. It’s painful, but I don’t regret my actions. He slams my wrists back into the stones and clasps the chains shut, suspending me up against the sharp rocks. “You never learn, do you?.” He grunts as he kicks shut the ankle locks.
“I regret nothing.” I sigh as my weight sags pulling on my arms. “You will.” He snaps and his fist punches hard into my gut. My eyes nearly pop out at the force behind his fist and I choke as the wind is knocked out of me. He pulls a knife out of the clip on his belt and holds it to the shredded fabric of my dress, he slashes hard against it, ripping the fabric revealing nearly my entire thigh. The blade cuts into me as he tears away the remaining deep red shreds. “Good I hated this dumb thing!”
“Well you look like even more of a prostitute, so good job. It’s not like I hate seeing you like this anyway. Maybe I will make some changes to the design.” He laughs as his gloved fingertips trace the new cut at the top of my thigh, I try to squirm away from his disgusting hand but it’s no use. “I’ll have to see you in my room some time. You’d make a good wife, just might have to train you.” He grips my thigh, squeezing hard, sure to leave a bruise. “I’d rather die than be married to a foul creature like you.”
“Like I’ll give you a choice.” He laughs pushing his thumb between my legs. I hold back the rising bile in my throat as his fingers grope my thighs and body. “I should teach you a lesson.” He laughs and then finally steps back. “Tonight maybe I will.” He grins before leaving me alone in the depressing cave. Every ounce in my body hated his touch, I felt unclean, and used. Sometimes it felt like I was worth nothing. It used to make me cry, but I was growing numb to the degrading acts, crying never seemed to stop it either.
About ten minutes later, I heard the small sneaking of footsteps and then Siran’s head poked in the entrance. I didn’t want him to see me like this, not after I promised him everything would be fine. He ran in and stopped in front of me. He looked so scared out of his mind, he stared at the deep cut in my leg and then back up at me, I was chained high above him, but I could still see the tears falling from his eyes. “This is all my fault.” His voice trembles, as he picks up the torn pieces of my dress, trying to piece it back together. I shook my head trying to tell him he was ok, but he already began to sob. “No hey Siran, I promise, it’s not as bad as it looks. Really I’m ok. I don’t mind this that much, I mean I don’t have to work so–”
He sets the piles of cloth in the corner and tries to find a way to open the cuffs. “No don’t do that, hey I’m ok I promise.” He helplessly attempts to open them, but can’t figure it out. “No it’s not ok! He’s a meanie, and you’re b-bleeding. Did he do that?” I shake my head, “That was an accident. Hey, I don’t want you to get in trouble, I’ll be fine. Take care of yourself. I’ve got this under control.”
He stepped back and wiped his tears with his sleeves and looked at me sad. “Are you sure? The others are mean to me when you’re not there.” He picks up the scraps again and looks between me and the exit. “You tell me if they’re mean, and I’ll take care of them later, go get some food and relax. Don’t worry about anything, I’m fine I promise.”
He smiles weakly and then runs out of the cave and once he leaves my throat tightens as the tears pour. He’s such a sweet boy and he had to see me tied up and hurt, no kid should have to see this. I wished I never saw what I did when I was his age, and now he would carry the same pain I did. He’s such an angel, but his parents were convinced he was a burden just because he was weaker than his brothers. At least the owners gave him a chance, but it always hurt my heart to see him with a busted lip, or a new bruise, because the older kids liked to take his food.
OBI-WAN’S POV
After a trip that took far too long, the ship finally landed on the forsaken planet of Tatooine.
“Is she really yours anymore? After being used by her owners?” My fingers tighten around the switch to open the doors, “She hasn’t been used. They aren’t allowed to do that. Stop saying such things about her.” I murmur, pulling open the hatch. “It doesn’t matter what you think, you’ll see her condition soon enough.”
The night had already begun, darkness falling over the town. I pull the hood of my cloak over my head and ignite my saber, I’d find her soon enough. I stormed up to the first creature I saw, a short green goblin looking thing. I grabbed the back of his collar and turned him around, “Where are the slave owners?” His beady eyes grew in fear and he shook in my hand. “The main ones? I-I don’t— who are you?! I raise the humming sword just above his neck. “Speak.”
“There’s three! One by the caves, one by the dock, and one in the outerlands. Is that what you want?” He whimpers, shaking so hard I’d assume he’s pissing himself. “Good. If you’re lying to me, I’ll find you.” I whisper, stepping past him and walking towards the loading dock. Wind rushes through my cloak and hair as I make quick work to walk through the gates.
Two men with guns made of rusty parts shot up from their seat, their faces were covered in strange disgusting masks, but it didn’t matter to me what they looked like. Because they died in a quick wave of my hand, I cut open the old rusty gate and stormed towards what appeared to be the master’s house. “What a rampage. You’ve changed Kenobi.” His voice buzzed with amusement as I kicked down the doors and went room by room searching for people.
A young girl stood up from the floor holding a seeping sponge, she stepped back against the wall scared of me. “Mister– please don’t hurt me..” She cries, pressing her back into the stones of the fireplace. “Do you know who y/n is?” I turn my weapon for a few moments trying to get her to cool off. “No sir. She’s not a slave here, all women serve in the house.”
“Well you’re not a slave any more, go find a ship to get out of here.” I murmur walking past her and up the sandstone stairs. I kick open another door leading to a bathroom, nobody. A guest room, still nothing. I stood outside the final door, and heard soft cries, “No I don’t want this– please sir-” Y/n? I slam into the door with my shoulder and a man jumps away from a young girl, and she scrambles into the corner covering herself. “Who are you?!” He bellows stepping forward. “Do you know a girl by the name y/n?”
“Why would I know who that is? Get out of my house you scum.” He pushes on my chest and it doesn’t take much provoking to kill him too. He drops to the floor and I look back over at the girl, who is now smiling ear to ear. “You wanted him dead too? Well there, now go find some way off this dirty planet.” I storm back out of the house and make my way out back into the growing sandstorm. If I could save her once, I could save her again.
The caves were a bit farther away, but the parked speeder outside the home made things go by quicker. All things seemed a little too quiet, nobody was out, Tatooine seemed to turn into a ghost town. They must’ve heard of my special appearance. I skidded to a stop outside a system of terrain. Plains with sloping hills made into cave systems around one big work site for digging. Again, nobody was outside, but it was night time so maybe the slaves went to rest. Finding y/n might be far easier if she’s in a restful spot. I march forward relighting my saber and stepping through the threshold of the small sand brick home. A few men were playing a gambler’s game at the table drinking and laughing, but the man at the head of the table, most likely the richest, saw me and he went dead silent. Slowly one by one they turned to face me, the room went silent, the only sound to be heard was my heavy breathing and the hum of the laser.
“How can I help you? I assume you’re a Jedi?” The richest sets his cards face down and slowly stands up. “Stay down.” I snap and he follows orders immediately, this will be easy then. “Well then, what brings you– here?”
“A slave.” I look over the faces of each man, all scarred and horrible looking, I can feel the evil in them. “Well this is a good spot to find one. Are you looking to buy? I paid a pretty penny for em’.” I scoff, “No. I’m not partaking in your cruel system. I’m taking one, and freeing her, from whatever this is.” I wave my lightsaber around the room and he nods. “Who? I just got some but they were mighty expensive. I’m not giving em’ out for free.”
“Oh but you are. You don’t have a choice.” I lift the table up and throw it against the wall, the pieces and cards crashing into the stone and across the floor. All of them try to burst out in anger but they catch themselves before I stop them. “Now I don’t like what you’re doing here at my place. How about you go back where you came from.” What an idiot. I wave my hand at him and he flies backwards against a bar counter and grunts, slowly sliding to the floor.
“Her name is y/n. Take me to her.” I nod at the headman and he exchanges looks with the others. “Where is she?” He whispers to a man with a hat that comes down over his eyes, his hands are covered in leather black gloves and a gun is at his hip. “I’ve got her in the cave.. She was acting out like a whore..” He whispers but he wasn’t quiet enough. I picked him up too but this time I finished the job and he dropped to the floor bleeding out. “Take me to the cave.”
My girl isn’t like that at all, I can’t bear to hear someone call her that. I’ve always hated any negativity that was sent her way. Because truly she deserved none of it. And if you knew who she truly was, it would be so easy to fall in love with her. She stood up for the hurt, she fought for her morals and beliefs, even when it meant being sent to a wretched place like this.
“Take him to her.” The boss says as his voice cracks from fear. I nod and pull the gun from his holster and push it into his back. “Get to walking.” I push him out the door and we begin out towards a huge sand mound. The air is bitter and cold, it’s hard pushing back everything I feel right now. Fear, anger, sadness, it’s overwhelming what I feel for her, just the idea of her being hurt drives me mad. “Who are you?”
“General Kenobi.” We stand by the entrance of the cave and he nods. “This is where she’s held for right now.” He waves for me to move forward, but I’m not falling for that. “You first.” He looks like he wants to run, but he knows that’s not an option. There’s two ways he leaves this place alive, he listens, and y/n is safe, with not a cut or scratch. Because I swear if they laid their hands on her I'd kill them all. He ignites a lantern and pulls it off the stump by the outskirt, and he walks slowly through it. The lantern shines light through the pitch black cave, and I’m yet to see her. “Where is she?” I press the barrel into his back sharply and he coughs, “The back sir.” He nods and he abruptly stops lifting up his lantern to reveal a set of chains.
“I’ll set up the rest of the lights.” He says dryly and a few seconds later the cave is dimly lit. Then I see her, her pain floods through me, it’s strong, I drop to my hands and knees. I can barely stand to look at her. She’s unconscious and strung out against the back wall, blood runs down her thigh, exposed by a large cut made in her dress revealing far too much of her skin for any man to see. Her head rests against her shoulder, her eyes shut tightly as her face is smeared with dirt and tears. Cuts, bruises, and slash marks line her perfect skin, it’s too much to take in. I slowly look from her to her captor.
“S-Sir.. Is this– h-her?” He says backing up to escape the cave but I stumble to my feet and grab him by the dirty collar of his shirt, and slam him back into the sharp carved wall. He gasps, gripping my wrists. “Please I didn’t do this to her!” I pull him forward only to slam him backwards again and again, he chokes up blood and it splatters against my chest and face but I can’t stop. I slam him into the floor and wrap my hands around his neck, squeezing tighter until there’s no more life in his grungy eyes. I stand up pushing back my hair and rush to y/n.
I cut off the chain cuffs and carefully pulled her down into my arms. I lean over her brushing back her hair off of her face. My emotions overwhelm me, my body trembles and hot tears pour from my eyes as I see the pain she’s in. Her breaths are shallow, her movements weak. I cup her face in my hands. “Y/n please, wake up!” I gently tap her face and her eyes shoot up and she tries to push herself out of my arms and get away from me. “Wait no, I’m here to save you dear, it’s me, Ben! Stop, you're going to hurt yourself.” She collapses against the floor on her back as she looks over me.
“B-Ben?”
“Yes- yes it’s me! Let me help you, what do you need?” I crawl closer to her and she stops backing away. I reach out pulling her into my arms, she’s trying to tug at the tight corset around her hips. “It- it hurts- can’t breathe–” I reach for the back of it and sink my hands into the tight drawn strings and rip the fabric apart. She takes deep panting breaths as it loosens from her, it rips down from the middle seam, and I toss it to the side. “What did they do to you? Tell me, I’ll kill them all I swear-” She squeezes my hand turning to look back up at me, her eyes scared and desperate.
“Ben you can’t kill them, that's not right…” She rubs her hand over her neck, coughing more, trying to regain her breath. I look over her wounds, but I don’t know what to do to fix her pain. “What did they do to you?!” I say my voice rising with anger. “Ben please, it’s ok now, you’re here and that’s all that matters.” Her fingers trace over my jaw, smothering my flame of hatred. I pick her up in my arms, but before I make it to the speeder a swarm of people rush towards me with makeshift weapons. None of them seem like they want to attack, more like they were forced too.
I set her on the speeder and drape my cloak over her shoulders shielding her body. I draw my lightsaber and rush forward cutting the swarm one by one, each person falling to their fate. “Ben no!” She screams but they keep rushing forward, swarming in circles around me. “They’re all slaves, please stop!” Another cry for my reconciliation. “She doesn’t know what she’s talking about. They want you dead Kenobi! My vision blurs and all I can feel is the resistance of bodies against each swing. The crowd slowly disappears, bodies falling down in piles around me.
The last few hold back, reluctantly attacking, and facing their own deaths. An old man, a teenage boy, a fierce woman, and the last one in front of me is a small child. His mouth wide open, his eyes looking over the dead in horror. He drops to his knees and rolls over a man, “Cline, wake up please, come on..” He shakes at the limp arm of what must be his friend. Soft hands grasp at my shoulder and I flinch back ready to strike but stop just in time, the blue humming stopping just in front of her chest. She stumbles backwards looking at me, like I’m a monster. “You killed them.. All of them..” She whispers covering her mouth. “I was protecting you dear, they wanted me killed, they wanted you dead, you must understand this is all for you!” I wave my hands at the fallen,
“Y/n you’re okay!” The small boy yells and I reach out to stop him but he slips past. “Hey stop you little-” He jumps towards her, hiding his crying. “Ben, he's just a child! What is wrong with you!” She says pulling him into her arms, he sniffles into the sleeve of my cloak and I stutter over my words. “What happened to you? You’re so– so relentless. You killed a hundred slaves without a second thought… What is this?”
Her words cut through my heart, wounding my sorry soul. I tuck my saber away and curl my fingers into my hair gasping for breath. “What– no– I did this for you..” I choke out, I killed them all. I’m a cold blooded murder, is that what I am now? What have I done?! I try to find one survivor, someone I might’ve spared but the bodies are all lifeless, their glossy eyes staring holes through my soul. “Shhh.. it’s ok Siran, he’s not going to hurt you..” She whispers into the soft brown hair of the child.
I look down to see a kid his age, dead. I killed children, and women, and.. No.. this isn’t something I’d do. “No Y/n please understand, I thought– I couldn’t have done this! There’s this voice, this thing in my mind–” A wave of shock floods through me and I clutch at my heart. “Do you want her dead?! Keep your mouth shut General.” His voice cuts through my mind, and a searing pain radiates through me as I try to stand up. “What are you talking about? You were in this cloud of rage! You were a whole different person, it’s like I don’t even know you anymore!” She covers the ears of the boy, and I shake my head trying to reach for her but she steps back.
“No you know me, please, please I beg of you dear, you know me! I’m Ben, remember? You were there when I was hurt, and I love you! That’s why this happened. I want you safe!” She looks so devastated, she doesn’t even look at me anymore. “Obi-Wan, that was everything but love. You wanted me safe, while killing off so many innocent people. That’s not love!”
“Let me fix this at least! I gave up everything for you! Just give me a chance please..” I drop to my knees in front of her begging for her love. My fingers tighten through my curls as I cry at her feet for forgiveness. “I- I don’t know what to say to you Obi-Wan.”
“No– no that’s not my name.. You know my name!” I run my hands down my face wiping the tears, “‘You aren’t the man I once knew. Let’s just leave, please, my heart can’t process this..” She whispers and steps up and into the speeder. I try to regain control and focus on getting her to my ship, but that doesn’t stop my sobs, it doesn’t stop the unbearable pain of knowing she’s deeply disappointed in me. Does she even love me anymore? After what she saw me do? Is it possible to still be in love with someone after that?
Y/N’S POV:
Siran laid his head in my lap still crying softly into my torn dress. “He’s gonna hurt us.. I know it.” He whispers as I look off at the other side of the ship to see Obi-Wan staring out at space, he’s been zoned out for hours, sometimes I can’t even tell if he’s alive. He hasn’t spoken a word to me since we boarded the speeder and got on the ship. He’ll occasionally drop his head into his hands, or randomly hit the side of his head repeatedly, either with his hand or the wall.
He was different, something snapped inside of him. He was a whole different person, but he mentioned a voice, but he was cut off before he could explain. He’s showing signs of trauma and exhaustion but I’ve been scared to approach him. Had he not realized it was me behind him earlier, he would’ve killed me as well. It tore me apart, that sweet loving man I once held in my arms as I fixed his wounds, was gone, or maybe lost inside the madness of his mind.
Was he still saveable? Could my lover be lost in something darker, and if so, how do I bring him back? “Siran sweetie, he won’t hurt you. He’s just going through something. I can tell you stories of him if that helps soothe your worries. Consider it a bedtime story.” He nodded showing a weak smile, I haven’t seen that nearly all day. “Hm.. so before I was brought to Tatooine, me and Obi-Wan, the Jedi man, we would talk a lot, and I was always nervous about being around him, because Jedi can read minds sometimes, but one day he was super hurt. So I had to fix up all his little scratches and bruises, and he was saying all these silly things about me. He called me pretty even, he was so silly because of the sleeping pill, and he kept stumbling around trying to find his cape.”
Siran laughed softly, and he slowly relaxed, “See he can’t be that bad. He’s just– a little different today, I’m sure he’ll be back to normal later.” But it’s hard to even convince myself of that. “Is he sick? I get grumpy when I’m sick.” He tries offering a solution, and because he’s so oblivious I let him believe it.
He was sound asleep in my lap, it was a whole process trying to slip out from under him. He curled up in the soft cushions of the loveseat. I stretched my aching body and I really needed a change of clothes, this dress was a haunting reminder of that cruel man. I walked back into where Obi-Wan slept and looked around for some change of clothes, and had to resort to a big tunic thing. I ripped off the remainders of the dress and stuffed them into the garbage chute. I’m glad that thing will burn. I pull the soft linen over my head and love the warmth of it. I walk out of his room and nearly run into his chest.
“Sorry.” He murmurs and his hands hover around my waist, “I needed a change of clothes. That’s all. Have a good night Obi-Wan.” I nod and step around him but he catches my hand and looks at me pleading. His fingers press into my palm and he tilts his head looking at me, like he can’t find the right words to fix this. “Let’s just get through this trip ok?” I nod but he finally snaps out of the trance he’s been stuck in. He places a soft kiss to the back of my hand, and his eyes trail over his shirt on my skin.
“Please, let me make things right.” He whispers, running his thumb over the new callouses in my hands. “I don’t think now is the time. I have a sad little boy worried sick that you’ll hurt us.”
“I could never hurt you or the kid, you must know that right? I swear if I could change what I did I would. I would’ve never laid my hands on a single person, creature- or whatever was on that planet. Please–” His head dips leaning against the groove of my shoulder and neck.
Everything in me wants to scream at him for doing wrong, for killing all those people, but instead my hand runs through his auburn curls gingerly comforting his broken mind. He’s a killer but– all I can do is hope what he did had a cause, maybe he was unstable, mentally broken, something that wasn’t fueled by hate. He’s not a hateful man right? He loves me doesn’t he? His body shakes against mine, and soft sobs slip from his lips. “I thought they would’ve killed you– and I-I was so s-sc-scared that you-d be gone.” His tears run down my skin, and I pull him in, holding him against me, trying to stop him from falling apart. “Obi-Wan–”
“No- don’t call me that please– I need to hear my name from you– and only you.” He turns his head and looks up at me with watery eyes, pleading to hear it from me. “Ben, I want to forgive you but this is so much to think about. I mean what will the council think?” He snaps back but I keep a hold on his arms, he shakes his head quickly. “It doesn’t matter what they think, not when they send you back to that wretched place… I’ll tell them it was to save you. I can leave the Jedi Order, I’d do anything for you, please tell me you know that.” His voice raises again, and it’s strange, hearing him get riled up, before all this he was calm, collected, and only broke when I was loving him.
“You can’t just ditch the order for me, I won’t make you do that. I thought they meant everything to you. You’ve put your whole life into this Ben, what has gotten into you? You’ve changed overnight!” He looks at me wildly, his eyes flickering with something I’ve never seen before. “Love, love has gotten into me, I love you, can’t you see that? I’d give up every part of me for you. That’s why I’ve done all of this, you must know that I love you y/n.” His voice breaks, and I’m terrified. “Ben, that's not love, that’s– that’s insane.”
“It’s not insane! I’m not crazy, I’m not a killer, or Sith, or traitor, or scum, I’m not any of that! All I want is for you to be safe, I want to protect you. If that means being a Sith, then– I’ll do it.”
I stumble away from and brace myself against the doorframe, “No! No, what are you saying?!” His eyes are flames of desire and passion, he’s completely lost control of himself. “No I can’t do this Ben. Get some sleep or something, this isn’t you.” I walk away from him but he tries to follow. I push back on his chest, “No. I’m not doing this tonight, you really need to think of the things you’ve just said to me. I’m going to get some sleep, and you may need it too because this is all insane.” I shake my head and his words cut off. He simply nods and shuts the door behind him.
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Delusional101 on Chapter 1 Sun 17 Aug 2025 02:10AM UTC
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