Rationalize my Sin

by CherriSherry

Summary:

After the final stand against Mystic Flour, the Ivory Pagoda's façade crumbled. Immortality shattered, lives eternally changed. Ever a man of responsibility, Dark Cacao aims to repay a debt owed.

Chapter 1

Anguished screams. Wailing. Begging and bargaining. It echoed off the walls of the damp, hollow cavern. A cacophony of suffering. Of pain. Of so many little souls, trapped in a never-ending nexus of torment and desire. Among them sat one of many souls thrown in to the meat grinder of humanity, staring listlessly at the wall before him. Staring as the water that dripped from above spilled in to branching rivers through the moss-laden stone, the veins of the maw of the beast they had all fallen in to. He stared in silence, clutching his knees to his chest, his eyes wide like an animal in the sightlines of it's prey. Nowhere felt safe. Nowhere felt comfortable. Every breath, every beat of his heart, a violation to his psyche. The breeze from the opening of the cave, brushing his hair across his eyes like a field of wheat in a hurricane. Wet, cold, tired, hungry, all foreign sensations long since discarded rushed over him in waves. The water's silent descent down the stone before him his only solace, the only reminder of what once was. Around him, his peers, screamed. A paradise lost, and a fresh hell returned. That was the only way any of them would be able to describe what they felt. They all sat around the husk of a rotten, weathered peach tree. The stench of rot, decay and stagnant water surrounded them. The stagnation of life, the stench of the fate that awaited them, unanswered questions swirled through the air like smog and pollution, seeping in to every inch of their mind. Was this really all there was? Was this truly what life was like before? Was this truly... Hell?

None knew, and those among them of a weaker countenance wailed and screamed. Those of a stronger sort would yell at them to be quiet. It was a cacophony of uncertainty and despair, swirling and churning like the oceans waves. Hurried footsteps bounced off the walls of the cavern, none cared to notice. The steps came closer, none cared to notice. The steps came to a halt, and yet still none cared to notice.

"What... Is this?"

His voice was shaky, his eyes wide in shock. Before him sat all of the people he had met, every single last one, within that disturbed 'paradise'. Some screaming, throats raw from anguish, others feral and biting. Completely uncharacteristic of the peace between them all from before. From playing Go and discussing when to go to the hot springs to this? It was like something out of a nightmare. Among the chaos, one silent figure caught his eye. It was Peach Blossom Cookie, sitting on the floor, robes splayed around him haphazardly through murky puddles. He was hunched in a small ball, staring straight forward, his back to the crowd.

"Your highness I... Believe it best for us to rid ourselves of this place. I don't believe there is anything we can do for them."

Dark Cacao turned, facing the sympathetic gaze of Caramel Arrow Cookie, her hand outreached yet not making contact with her King. Dark Cacao's brow knit tighter, looking down at the ground before him. He knew this, internally he knew this and yet... After everything he himself had been through, after everything they had all been through, to abandon them because it was hard? To abandon them because it was a 'lost cause'? It was not something he could live with, not something he could accept. Silently, he turned from Caramel Arrow Cookie, walking towards the group before him.

"M-My Lord, please! We should really return to tell the others of the dangers we encountered here!"

Crunchy Chip Cookie took two steps towards Dark Cacao before Caramel Arrow Cookie put her arm out, stopping his advance. With a silent shake of her head and a solemn look in her eyes, he ceased his advance, staring forward as his Lord walked. He walked past the dumpling 'immortals', past cookies unknown, and stopped at the side of Peach Blossom Cookie. He did not move, he did not twitch, he simply sat in the mud and filth, the spring tones of his attire muddied and dark. Dark Cacao Cookie kneeled down, angling his head to get a better look at his face. Catatonic. Completely unmoving. Hardly breathing. He closed his eyes, realizing what he had feared most to be true. He sheathed his sword, pushing the belt so it sat closer to his back.

"It's alright. I'm here."

His voice was quiet, barely above a whisper. Movement. Peach Blossom Cookie's eyes darted to the side, acknowledgement of his presence. His body stayed locked in place, his breathing becoming audible as his lips silently parted. Words danced on the tip of his tongue, sentences assembling in his mind before falling to dust, slipping like grains of sand between his fingers to an empty barren wasteland. His eyes were glassy, face wet with tears, eyes sunken and hollow. All shine and luster his form once held; gone. Slowly, Peach Blossom Cookies eyes drifted back to the wall, analyzing the water as it spilled. Watching as small tufts of moss gently swayed from the force, the only life left from his paradise. Dark Cacao Cookie gently raised a hand, brushing Peach Blossom Cookie's hair out of his face, raising his arm slightly to use his sleeve as a towel. He gently rubbed the fabric against Peach Blossom's face, his expression unmoving. Pulling the hair out of his face, Dark Cacao gently peeled his now soaked clothing off his shoulders and down to his waist, being sure to leave the undergarment robe layer in place. Fully disrobing him, he wrapped his large cloak around his still body, gently lifting him from his seated position in to a bridal style carry. Holding Peach Blossom's soaked and soiled robes in one hand, he walked back to his soldiers, handing them to Caramel Arrow Cookie for safe keeping.

"He... Helped me. Against Mystic Flour Cookie. In his own way, he helped me. I cannot stand the thought of leaving someone who would risk their safety for my kingdom's sake, for my people's sake. He is coming with us, is that understood?"

Both Caramel Arrow Cookie and Crunchy Chip Cookie nodded in acknowledgement, though the expression writ on Crunchy Chip's face was plain. Confusion. He was not one to defy the word of his Lord, nor to truly question it, and yet the questions in his mind lingered. It was unlike him to be so assertive on matters such as this. For his people? Of course. For his kingdom? Absolutely. But for one singular man? One who, by all rights, had intimate ties with the Beasts? Memories of Affogato Cookie's betrayal came to mind for him. He grimaced with disgust, once again berating himself for not being there when his Lord needed him most. Not this time, though. This time, he was here. Here to make sure the mistakes of the past were not repeated.

"I... Don't mean to be rude my Lord- and please! Do not take this the wrong way of course, but-"
"No."

Dark Cacao Cookie cut him off before he could finish speaking, his voice strained, yet firm. He knew full well what his exceptions to 'outsiders' had done to his kingdom, his people, in the past. He also knew of Peach Blossom Cookie's character, his willingness to betray the Master of his paradise to save the Cacao Kingdom's people. Affogato never did anything of the sort. There was no give, only take. Dark Cacao gave a knowing glance back at his soldiers before continuing his strides out of the cavern. Caramel Arrow shot a glare cold as ice towards Crunchy Chip, shaking her head with a slight grimace, in a 'Why did you do that?' kind of manner. Crunchy Chip silently threw his arms forward, mouthing 'You know!' silently as the two walked behind their King.

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Peach Blossom laid in bed, staring absently at the ceiling. Foreign sensations wracked his body, his mind spinning and tumbling, as though falling down an endless flight of stairs, striking each step as they fell. With each passing moment, more and more began to flood every nerve and every inch. Staying still was little relief, the sensation of the blankets shifting against mortal flesh with each inhale. He could feel the pain of his lungs expanding, his organs shifting to fill the space as his diaphragm pulled and pushed. Each muscle twitch, each little breath, each little movement. Death. He was dying. He could feel himself dying, he could feel it with every passing second, with every blink, with every glance. It was terrifying, a fear so deep and profound, one he had long since discarded. He slowly moved his eyes to the fire he had been placed beside, watching as the flames licked at the air, crackling and sparking as the flames consumed the kindling. Peach Blossom stared at the flame, watching as it died ever so slowly. How long had it been? Seconds? Minutes? Hours? He wasn't entirely sure. Time's passage didn't matter to him before, it was something his mind had discarded upon gaining immortality. The weak embers flickered red within the ashen husks of the logs, all but gone out. Tears absently streamed down his face. Why was he crying? It was all too much to bear, too much to think of, too... Relatable. The flames slowly dwindled, the grey powder soon to be all that remained.

A small handful of straw and grass. The flames licked up the shafts, the dull orange returning to a warm red glow. Gentle gusts of air from bellows, more handfuls of straw. Analyzing every detail happening before his eyes eased the suffering, eased the pain, made him forget that sensation of dying. Slowly logs were added, the flames bursting back to life. The hands providing these materials dusted themselves off gently, the form they belonged to rising up above him. His head turned slightly, angling itself to look up properly.

"Ah... That is the most I have seen you move since coming here, Peach Blossom. I... Cannot imagine you are feeling well. I know that I am to blame for that, and I..."

He stared up at Dark Cacao, his face scrunched up in an imperceptible expression. Peach Blossom just stared, lips slightly parted, all light gone from his eyes. Silence. Until Dark Cacao continued to speak.

"I am so sorry. So... So sorry... After everything you did for me, the sacrifices you made and how did I thank you? By ripping peaceful immortality from your hands. You are mortal again, and... No, I said I would not do this..."

Dark Cacao buried his face in his hands, the expression on his face becoming much clearer with each word spoken. Anguish. Regret. Deepest remorse. Peach Blossom closed his eyes, the sound of Dark Cacao's heavy breaths and the sound of the crackling fire the only sound in the room. His eyes slid back open, meeting Dark Cacao's gaze. Tears bit at the corners, yet not daring to spill, his expression stern yet kind. It was... An oddly comforting presence the king held, much to Peach Blossom's surprise. Even back then he could tell that Dark Cacao was not a man of cruelty. He was stern, yes, but he was deeply kindhearted; sympathetic even to the causes of others. His people came first, and yet, here Peach Blossom laid. With all of the thoughts swirling in his head, it was nice to have a distraction from it all, even if it was for yet another vexing question.

Why am I here?

"You may stay as long as you wish. This room is yours to do with as you please. Do not hesitate to ask for anything, anything at all. You are an honoured guest of the Cacao Kingdom, so please... Rest, if you can." After a brief pause, Dark Cacao gave a quiet bow to Peach Blossom, turning to leave the room. As he passed the threshold of the room to the hallway, a quiet voice wisped past Dark Cacao's ears, barely above a whisper. For a moment he presumed it was just the sound of the snow outside, a crackle of the fireplace, the shifting boards beneath his feet. Until he heard it again, slightly louder, slightly more confident.

"Please... Don't go."

Dark Cacao turned, facing the bed to see that Peach Blossom had not moved from the position he was laid in. His arm limply hung from the side of the bed, his fingers gently grazing against the mesh that sat in between him and the flames, his knuckles reddening from the burn. Dark Cacao inhaled sharply, quickly striding back to the bedside, grabbing Peach Blossom's arm to place back at his side. Upon grabbing it, he froze. Peach Blossom felt so... Delicate, and fragile. Warm, and smooth. It was a strange sensation. The last time that he had held Peach Blossom's hand like this, there was a very distinct lack of these features. He had been cold, concerningly cold. Rigid, and firm. Like an unripened fruit, green and small, filled with potential yet reached. But now? Now was different. Peach Blossom's skin held a softness, a gentleness and warmth. Smooth ivory skin, unmarred by the harshness of the world, the only blemishes being the growing red swell of the burn on his knuckles. Dark Cacao could not help but notice how different the two were. His hands large, calloused and rough. Course and rugged. Hands marred by conflict, the hands of a well weathered soldier. Yet Peach Blossom's hands? Small, smooth and soft. The hands of one far too soft for the world he had dragged them in to.

"I... Told you to ask for anything but... Are you sure you want me of all cookies to stay at your side?"
"......Yes. I do." Peach Blossom's voice was weak, faint, and sounded incredibly forced. Hoarse and rough as though his vocal chords had not been used in millennia. Dark Cacao's heart was filled with deepest regrets, a stinging self-loathing he had thought fully dealt with bubbling back up to the surface. No, this wasn't about him, not right now. After everything he had done to someone who had shown him and his people nothing but kindness, shown him nothing but charity, simply spending time with him and sitting at his side was the least he could do. Dark Cacao gently placed Peach Blossom's hand at his side, silently nodding at his request. He sat on the edge of the bed, turning to face him.

"Very well. I shall stay as long as you need me for."

Chapter 2

It did not take long for a routine to form in Dark Cacao's day to day. A little over a month had passed since bringing Peach Blossom into his life, and it startled even him how easily he fit. Early morning strolls through the palace always, somehow, seemed to end at the door to Peach Blossom's new chambers. The routine, always the same. Knocking on the door three times, pausing in hopes of an answer that would never come, before announcing his presence as he slid the door open. Dark Cacao would politely peek his head into the room, Peach Blossom would still be laid in bed, and would still be staring at the fireplace, regardless of if a flame sat within or not. He would feed the fire before turning to Peach Blossom and adjusting the position with which he laid to be sure his body was never in one position for too long, before adjusting the bedding to assure his comfort. Then, he would simply leave. He wasn't sure when it had begun, but he began speaking to him throughout the routine at some point. Not about anything too enlightening or revealing, just simple things that came to mind. Dark Cacao was not a man for small talk, yet it seemed to come so easily in Peach Blossom's presence. He would simply state what he was doing, what he had done the previous days, what the weather had been like, any odd happenings around the palace. It was conversations of nothing, to no one, never expecting answers from the man. Peach Blossom remained still, barely breathing, barely moving, yet his eyes. His eyes followed Dark Cacao's every movement, every gesture, every touch. As loath he was to admit, the lack of progress in Peach Blossom's condition had begun to frustrate him. Another day, another walk around the palace. Another knock on Peach Blossom's door.

Knock
Knock
Knock

"...Come in."

Dark Cacao startled, his hand retreating from the door as though burnt. He stared in silence at the door for a moment, wondering to himself if he had heard what he thought he had heard. No, that couldn't be right. Peach Blossom could hardly move, let alone speak. No, that wasn't true. Peach Blossom had spoken to him that first day, though brief, they had had a full conversation. He had thought that, perhaps, the stress of the situation had perhaps given him a brief lucidity, perhaps that is why he spoke then and not previously. That didn't make any sense, though, would stress have not made him less likely to be able to speak? Thoughts and theories tumbled and danced through the old king's head, spinning and twirling like autumn leaves in a tumultuous sea, before being pulled back to the surface by the sound of his voice once more.

"Hello?"

It was weak, delicate and fragile. It sounded ready to shatter with the lightest of touches, the softest of breezes, yet it was undeniably the voice of the man who had given him the strength to keep going. To keep climbing. To keep pushing forward against a force so insurmountable, it quite nearly destroyed him. Dark Cacao swallowed, hard, before sliding the door open slowly as he had so many mornings before. The routine continued, it must continue, he thought. He did as he had done in the past, he politely peeked his head into the room before entering, the routine must continue. The routine... The routine... The routine had changed. Peach Blossom was supposed to be in the bed. He was not. He was supposed to be staring at the fireplace. He was not. So many "supposed to's" and "should haves" swirled in Dark Cacao's head, ever a man opposed to changes in his routine, and yet... It was a pleasant change, a welcome one, even.

Peach Blossom stood at the window, the shade drawn back, giving a full view of the snow-covered scenery, pristine and untouched. The courtyard laid below, the quiet mumbling conversation of servants and soldiers, mingling and discussing the day to come. Peach Blossom, for his part, stood silently. He wore a sheer, white, loosely fitted robe beneath a dark violet and black blanket draped across his shoulders. He gazed out the window, his eyes glassy and distant. The cold, eternal winter's sun shone in streaks across his face and body, highlighting and casting shadows along the dips and curves of his neck, face and chest. He hardly appeared alive, more statue than cookie, only the faintest glint of life beneath his empty gaze, staring into the distant fields of snow and trees. It was his eyes that moved first, his head soon following, to turn and look towards Dark Cacao. The king's breath hitched, a short and silent gasp, as though he had borne witness to something he was not supposed to see. He averted his gaze to the window, Peach Blossom's pale skin and soft pastel hues but a glimmer in the corner of his vision.

"It is... Good to see you up."

Silence. Initially, Dark Cacao presumed he had somehow offended by simply walking in, until a weak, breathy chuckle broke the silence.

"It... Hurts. It is better than rotting in bed, at the least." The words were choked out from Peach Blossom's throat. Breathy, and raspy. The sounds of cogs of a clock grinding, an engine's pained rumble, unoiled and rusting, yet fighting its fate to move. Guilt had long been company to Dark Cacao, guilt for many mistakes and missteps, for moments and actions he could not take back. For how he had treated his son, for how he had treated his people, for how he had treated his subjects. For snakes laced in honeyed words slithering and writhing into his life, his kingdom, for paying no mind to the writing on the walls and the emptying of its coffers, and now. For this. Pain. It was something Dark Cacao knew all too well, but him? Not him. Not for a long time. The pain of living, of breathing, of mortality? It was something Peach Blossom had shed so long ago, a pain long since forgotten. He had hoped it would be like a bicycle, something you never truly forget. Unfortunately, it would appear, it was more akin to moving. A muscle long unused, a joint long rigid, now being forced to move. To lift, to twist, to pull and push. Yet there he stood, shaking, yet elegant.

"I believe we have something that might be able to help with the pain, I-I can get it for you, if you-" The words came out quickly, shakily, lacking in confidence. Uncharacteristic of Dark Cacao.
"No... It's alright... I just need to... Get used to it."

The words escaped Peach Blossom's lips in short gasps, his voice shaking just as much as the King's had. His hands clutched at the edge of the blanket, pulling it loosely over his shoulders. Watching Peach Blossom struggle like this sent waves of guilt over Dark Cacao's heart, watching as the poor thing rattled and shook like a dying autumn leaf. An awkward silence hung in the air, the King simply staring at the man by the window in silence, terrified that the moment he turned, Peach Blossom would cease to exist. He did this. He did this to him. Everything he touched, everywhere he looked, anything his heart began to open to would fall to pieces. Destruction and tears were his legacy. The guilt came again, stronger now. He was making it about himself again. About his sorrow, his pain, his suffering, but what of Peach Blossom's? What of his pain? How long had it been since he last felt... Anything?

"I..." The voice made Dark Cacao come to attention, the floating, fraying pieces of his mind snapping back into place. He was needed, and though the guilt of his sins lingered in the back of his mind, it was unimportant right now. "Y-yes?" the word stumbled out of his mouth quickly, almost too quickly. Peach Blossom breathed harshly, but briefly, out of his nose, a slight smile on his lips. Was that... a laugh?

"I would... Like to go outside." Peach Blossom finished, shaking hands pulling the blanket up to his neck, his head gently turning towards Dark Cacao. In this moment, in this lighting, after everything, he noticed it for the first time, noticed something that would most certainly not be the last. On the Pagoda, he had been so exhausted, so truly fatigued and tunnel-visioned, that he hadn't the time nor faculties to truly take it all in. Upon seeing him on the ground, caked in mud and grime, in the depths of a despair not felt in so long— it was hardly the time, but now? The morning sun cascaded across Peach Blossom's pale complexion, highlighting and deepening all of the dips and curves of his face. His high cheek bones, accentuated by the soft, round flesh of his cheeks. The gentle slope of his jaw, cascading smoothly to his thin, smooth neck. His frame was lithe, light, almost ethereal. Hints of his chest peaked through the gap of the blankets, the sheer fabric doing little to obfuscate the view. His soft, pink hair hung loosely over his eyes, shrouding them in an alluring air of mystery. In short, he was... Beautiful. Peach Blossom tilted his head slowly, a gentle smile on his face, his lips gently parted.

"Um... If that is... Alright."

Dark Cacao shook his head slightly, blinking a few times before speaking.

"No, that is not a problem. I was just..." he paused, silently combing over his words before speaking, "...thinking about how... Ill-fit your attire for the weather, is all. I worry if simply holding that blanket up is a strain if... You would be able to wear the clothing required for the climate without help, is all."
"It is... Funny you mention that. I had noticed it was quite cold here, yet I saw plants in the pavilion. It has... Been so long... Since I last saw a plant, tended to one, even... I just thought it... Might be nice... I apologize if it was too much to ask."

Dark Cacao's heart ached with each word, the disappointment laid bare in the tone with which he spoke. He had never been good with emotions, understanding his own or conveying his thoughts to others in more intimate settings. While addressing his people? Of course. While addressing his soldiers? Naturally. In these personal, intimate moments, just two cookies standing together like this? Hollyberry normally did all the talking, started all the conversations, carried them when there was an awkward silence. When faced with someone like Peach Blossom, someone so soft spoken and distant as he had become, it was difficult. With all the grace of a newborn deer, he spoke again.

"Maybe then uh. Perhaps we could... The blanket should be plenty, if the visit is brief."

A smile worked its way across Peach Blossom's face. It was small and slight, but genuine, a smile that reached the eyes. A hint of light shimmered beneath the pink and cyan hue, the first he had seen in a very, very long time. Relief filled his breast as he watched Peach Blossom's small, delicate strides towards him. Good, he could walk without assistance. Regardless, Dark Cacao raised a bent arm for support, one that Peach Blossom took readily. Dark Cacao immediately noticed that warmth again, that signature signal of life. Why did it disturb him so? Peach Blossom was a living, breathing being. Of course he had body heat. Perhaps it just made the situation all too real, he thought. Peach Blossom was here, in the Cacao kingdom, living in one of many spare rooms. A being so divine, lifeless and eternal, reduced to a simple cookie living in a small storage-room-turned-bedroom. It had been so long since everything had happened with Affogato, a situation with which much conflict remained in his heart. Perhaps he was soft, perhaps he was too kind, too forgiving. A part of him missed that snake, if it could be believed. As the two passed the threshold of the bedroom and exited into the hall, a familiar face snapped the King out of his thoughts.

"Oh! My Lord, what a pleasant surprise to see you! I hope all is well with our... new guest?" Caramel Arrow gently leaned to the side, looking Peach Blossom up and down with a respectful yet suspicious glance.
"Ah, Caramel Arrow Cookie. What a surprise. I had expected you to be at early morning drills still. It is not like you to skip a single one." She blinked for a moment before standing back straight, her hands folded in front of her. Her brows dipped up sympathetically, a soft smile on her face.
"Um... My apologies if this comes across disrespectfully, but I... Was, my liege. We are half way to noon now. Did you... Lose track of the time?"

It was now Dark Cacao's turn to blink in surprise. How long had he been in that room with Peach Blossom that it was now that close to mid-day? Had the pauses in their conversation truly been that long?

"My apologies, Miss... Perhaps I had... Kept him too long from his duties. Maybe we can... Do this another time..."

The words came out slowly and softly. He sounded... Defeated. Caramel Arrow's brows dipped back in surprise, one of her hands lifting from before her. "Oh, no no! As far as I know, King Dark Cacao has no formal business until later in the day. If anything, now is a good time for uh... Whatever it is... You're doing." Her words fizzled out as she spoke, wavering under the stare Dark Cacao had given her after her words previous. "My apologies if I insinuated otherwise..." She gave a polite bow and began to walk past the two down the hallway, in the direction of the soldiers quarters. Turning her head upon reaching the door, she looked at the two briefly, before bowing her head once more and disappearing into the room's depths, a look of embarrassed remorse on her face.

"She seems nice. A little formal... But perhaps that is... Normal around here..." Dark Cacao nodded as he gently guided Peach Blossom towards the courtyard, their steps slow and methodical.
"It... Is when cookies speak to me, specifically."
"I suppose that... Makes sense." His words were becoming strained once more, his breathing picking up as small droplets of sweat spilled from his brow. "You are... Their King after all... It would... Be strange if... they held no reverence... I suppose..."
"Is everything alright? We can stop for a moment if you need to gather yourself."
"No... I would like to... Be outside..."

Dark Cacao nodded, fighting his urge to pick up the pace to just get there faster. All that would do is exacerbate the problem. No, they needed to move slowly. With each wavering, shaking step, the two drew closer to the courtyard's entrance. By the time the two had arrived, Peach Blossom was a mess. Hair clung to his sweat glistened skin like wet paper, he shook and rattled like an ungreased machine, his knees knocking like a newborn horse. Dark Cacao was all but holding him up at this point, his eyes laden with worry and concern. He watched as Peach Blossom gritted his teeth, fighting his body to move. Dark Cacao, for his part, remained silent, simply watching and providing support as he was needed. They just needed to get outside. Dark Cacao gently slid Peach Blossom to the floor, his eyes looking up at the king with this hint of desperation and betrayal, a look that just about broke his heart. "Just for a moment." He whispered, terrified of speaking a single decibel higher, as though Peach Blossom would fall to pieces at the slightest sound. With a firm push, the door to the courtyard swung open with a loud, complaining groan, the sound of the door knocking against the opposing wall echoing through the halls. With a gentle but firm hand, Dark Cacao lifted Peach Blossom back to his feet, a groan of pain escaping his lips as they moved.

"Do you still wish to walk?"
"How... else... can I..." The words were breathy and strained, all but coughed out of a body exhausted from a simple walk down the hall, one of which the King walked every morning. He was silent, spinning the words around in his mind like a string of long-stored Christmas lights, attempting in vain to detangle the simplest sentences to explain himself.
"I...'m... Right... Th-"
"I can carry you."

The words spilled out of Dark Cacao's mouth like an anxious vomit, quick and unexpected. A pause. The tension hung in the air, at least it felt this way for Dark Cacao, staring down at this small, frail creature in his arms. Peach Blossom just stared up at him in silence, his breathing quick yet quiet. His mouth hung open slightly, gasping in breaths as sweat trickled down his jaw to his neck, pooling slightly in dent of his collarbones before spilling over once more, soaking in to his clothing. Peach Blossom closed his mouth and swallowed, a slight cough before he spoke.

"That... Might be... Easier." He nodded, gently placing both of his hands on to Dark Cacao's shoulders. Though he was the one who had suggested as such, Dark Cacao froze. What if he hurt him? What if he held him too tightly? Too loosely? Witches forbid he dropped him in this state. It was only when Peach Blossom's shaking arms began to radiate in to his shoulder that he began to act, snapped from his self-loathing. He gently scooped the man up in his arms in a bridal carry, ensuring the blanket remained wrapped around his weakened form. It barely felt like holding a thing, as though he was simply holding dreams and wishes of a cookie in his arms. Peach Blossom gently folded his hands in to his lap, tugging at the edges of the blanket to cover his neck and chest as the breeze from the courtyard gently swept across them. Small clusters of snowflakes spun and danced through the air off nearby bluffs and piles as the two walked towards the bunjae garden. Small, potted trees of varying colour sat on a smooth layer of dirt and sand, contained within a square of paving stone paths, small rocks in numerous clusters dappled across the sand between the plants. Peach Blossom looked down at the small trees and smiled, gently reaching a hand out to feel the plant. Dark Cacao knelt down, gently placing Peach Blossom at the edge of the garden, allowing him this moment of respite. Peach Blossom laughed weakly, a bright smile across his tired face as he gently ran his fingers along the bark and spines of the tree. His hands travelled to another, gently pinching at the leaves before a look of recognition crossed his eyes. His head whipped around to look at Dark Cacao, a sparkle in his eyes long since thought lost returning.

"You have Persimmons!"
"The tree? Well... Yes we do. I believe we grow proper, full sized trees within the gardens across the palace, if my memory serves me right."
"I would like to see what other plants you have here! I had no idea anything could grow in such a cold place!" Relief filled Dark Cacao's breast at the sight of Peach Blossom's excitement, watching as he slowly crawled from tree to tree, gently touching each plant and memorizing their textures, their foliage and their shapes.

"I believe we also have a pond with lotuses and peonies, though... I do not believe they are in bloom at the moment."

Peach Blossom smiled and giggled with all the excitement of a child, gently clapping at the thought. It was nice to see that strength from him after the struggle of the walk here.

"Say, could I come out here again some time?"
"I don't see why not. As long as you feel well enough to, you may come out here as much as you like."

Peach Blossom pulled his knees up to his chest, resting his head atop them as he stared at the plants. Peach Blossom was much like a plant by his own right, Dark Cacao thought. A few moments in the sun was all it took to perk him right back up to health. He watched as Peach Blossom gently swayed his head back and forth as he stared at the plants, humming a quiet tune that he couldn't quite recognize. He was gently patting his bare feet against the stone as he hummed, a serene expression on his face.

Dark Cacao was ever a man opposed to changes in his routine. The routine... The routine... The routine had changed, and for once. He was glad for it.

Chapter 3

"Ah, my liege. What fortuitous timing, I had just been thinking to call for you." The voice seeped into his mind, thick like tar, yet sweet like honey. The words carried an odd venom to them, yet a familiar comfort he could not ignore. Dark Cacao's tired gaze drifted to the man beside him, clad in violet and white silk and fineries, an ever-present and overpowering fragrance of patchouli, vanilla and espresso. He was silent, semi-present, his mind mostly occupied by concerns of the licorice sea and of the palace's defenses. "...You see," the voice continued, a noticeable tightness to the voice. Thinly veiled agitation. "I just thought it would be in our- the Kingdom's best interest to... address the matter of... rations, you see." Dark Cacao gave a passive wave of the hand, his eyes drifting forward towards the wall, watching as the many builders further reinforced its edges. "Do what you must." His voice came out dry, tired. Yet the shadow beside him silently smiled at such passivity. "Of course... My lord." The man bowed, slowly folding his arm across his chest before turning back to the darkened hallways of the palace, a gentle jingling sound following with each step.

"Father? Do you have a moment?" The voice came from below, soft and sweet. "A moment, and nothing more. What is it?" He had suddenly shifted from the wall to the throne room, surrounded by staff and hands and papers, yet he paid no mind to this lapse of continuity. "I-It's just um... Do you... Remember what today is?" Dark Cacao glanced over a list of their monthly budget, numbers and graphs scrawled on meter after meter of papers and scrolls, his eyes hardly shifting from his work. "Of course. It is the yearly budgetary meeting, I had informed you of this, did I not?" The small figure wrung its hands anxiously, looking up at the King with a deep-set disappointment in his eyes. "O-oh... Right... That's... More important..." The voice came out weak, passive and quiet. "Sorry for bothering you, father..." The figure slowly walked out of the throne room, further into the darkened hallways of the palace, quiet hiccups of muffled tears following with each step.

Darkness spread as far as the eye could see, as though the whole world had been painted in a swathe of shadow. Dark Cacao walked forward, sword in hand, prepared for any beast or being to strike. Silhouettes and shadows whispered amongst each other, sleeved hands rising to grinning mouths of sharpened white, pinpoints of red staring at his every step. The whispers began to swell, sentences forming in their hushed tones. "I heard that he slept his way to the top." "I feel like that says more about King Dark Cacao than it does about him, don't you think?" "I mean who forgets their own son's birthday?" "Son? I hardly doubt he even calls him that anymore. Just running away from another failure, more like." "Like he was trash, you know? Just threw his own dough and jam out like it was nothing!" "Unbelievable, who even does something like that?" "He says it's for the kingdom, but I don't buy it." "I mean, who would? What has he done for this kingdom that anybody else couldn't since the dark flour war?" "I bet it's for the power." "I bet it's for the fame." "Ancient hero? Wouldn't that require heroics?" "I bet he's..." "You know what I've heard?" "I've heard that..." "No way! For real?" "I bet that..." "Have you heard what I've heard?" "I've heard..." "I've read..." "I've heard..."

"Enough!" He swung his sword at the shades around him, his sword cutting through the air with a loud whip, slicing at shadows dispersing into clouds. With each swing, the shadows dissolved into the air, replacing the whispers with a loud, raucous laughter. The more he swung, the louder it became. It drowned out his senses, filling him with rage with each passing swing. The laughter rang in his ears, eventually causing him to drop his sword to the ground with a loud 'clang' as he slammed his hands against his ears. The laughter was in his head, no matter how tightly he squeezed, how far he shoved his fingers in, the laughter rose in volume. Louder and louder until...

 

Silence.

 

He stood within the darkness, sweating and clammy. The only sound in the empty expanse is his own ragged breaths. His crown had fallen to the ground. He hadn't even noticed. As he reached for it, the crown suddenly disintegrated into flour. His eyes widened, reaching a hand for his sword, only for that, too, to return to flour. His breathing picked up in pace, his eyes wide like an animal waiting to strike. Footsteps. Gentle, and quiet. It was coming from... Somewhere. It echoed as though all around him, all at once. He clenched his fists, lifting them to his side. Bare-handed combat was not something he had engaged in for quite some time, yet a hardened warrior as he was, he would do what he must. Come what may, he would survive. Not for himself, but for the people who relied on him. His head whipped around, loose strands of hair once held back by the crown flying in his face and obscuring his vision with each and every turn. A strand flew up, across his eyes, as it floated back down... She appeared. Like a demon from hell, suddenly before him once more. Mystic Flour Cookie. Her ice cold hands clutched at his throat with frightening speed, hardly time for him to react. As her hands made contact with his neck, his whole body froze as though paralyzed. He watched as her silent, emotionless face hovered before him, watched as his dough slowly turned to grey, then to white. Watched as his hands slowly dissolved, felt every grain as it slowly fell to the ground like snow. The agony, unimaginable, yet he could not scream. Her eyes burrowed into his soul, empty and uncaring. No joy from defeating an adversary, no regret, no remorse, just... Nothing. The edges of his vision began to turn white, his body fully dissolving into dust. Yet no characteristic peace as he had seen followed. Just pain. Regrets. Remorse.

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His eyes snapped open, gasping for air as he clutched at his chest. Another nightmare, it would seem. His eyes slowly slid close, clutching at his chest as the racing of his heart slowly began to soothe. The cold sweat from his nightmare seemed to have followed him into his waking hour, his hair sticking uncomfortably to the back of his neck as he laid there. Slowly, he sat up, swinging his legs over the side of his bed. The robes with which he slept in clung uncomfortably to his back and arms, small lines formed on his body from laying on rumbled sheets. He pulled the blanket from his bed, wrapping it across his shoulders much the same way he would his cape. "Need some fresh air..." He whispered to himself, slowly rising to his feet before quietly approaching the door to his chambers.

"A-Ah my Lord! Is everything alright?"

A young Cacao soldier stood watch at the King's door, another soldier stationed on the opposing side looking at the King in silent surprise. Dark Cacao nodded, swallowing before he spoke.

"I will be back shortly."

The soldier bowed respectfully, whispering a simple "of course, sir", before awkwardly returning to his post. Dark Cacao walked down the candle-lit hallway. The palace looked so different at night, yet his morning walks had made him grow so familiar with how each column bent, which boards screeched and which were silent, he could walk this hall with his eyes closed. He continued his walk in silence, passing the occasional guard doing their evening patrols, exchanging brief and formal acknowledgements before finally reaching his destination. The door to the courtyard. With a gentle push, the door swung open. That was odd, this door was supposed to be latched. His brow furrowed, his hand clenching slightly at his side. He cautiously walked outside into the enclosed yard, his eyes warily glancing around at each darkened corner. It wasn't until an all-too-familiar silhouette came into view that his mind eased.

"Peach Blossom Cookie? What are you doing out here so late in the evening?"

Peach Blossom stood atop a small, arched bridge, crossing an artificial river within the courtyard, looking up at the sky. His hands were folded at his chest, as though holding himself for warmth, and who could blame him? He stood silently, quivering in the cold, ill-dressed for the snowy evening. Dark Cacao quickly walked over, pulling the blanket from his shoulders and tossing it over Peach Blossom. His gaze did not waver, staring straight up at the sky. His question came suddenly, with a level of strength his voice had not held in quite some time.

"King Dark Cacao... Where do cookies go when they crumble?"

Dark Cacao blinked in surprise, staring down at Peach Blossom. It was then that he noticed. Peach Blossom had not been shaking from the cold. He was crying.

"...I don't know."
"Heh... I shouldn't have asked. I doubt anyone knows..."

Dark Cacao had no idea what to say. What could he say? Death was not something that Peach Blossom had to think about in... Witches knows how long. Of course he would be burdened by these thoughts, burdened by these questions at some point. He just hadn't expected it to come so quickly. He looked up at the sky beside him, crossing his arms across his chest. It had been so long since he had looked at the stars, he thought. The last time he was... With him.

"Do you see that constellation there?"

Dark Cacao glanced down at Peach Blossom, his head inclined upwards at the sky. "Which do you speak of?" He asked, glancing back up at the stars, his head leaning slightly to the side, positioned above Peach Blossom's to get a closer look from his angle. Peach Blossom pointed upwards, slightly off to the right side, his finger at the center of a collection of stars.

"There."
"...Gemini?"
"Yes. Are you familiar with its... More ancient story?"

Dark Cacao shook his head, watching as the stars twinkled overhead. Peach Blossom pointed at each star as he spoke, Dark Cacao leaning closer to his head to get a better look at where he pointed.

"See... This star I know as Meslamta-ea and this one is Lugal-irra. The one who has risen from the underworld... And the strong lord... The two are in this constellation together, the Great Twin stars."

Dark Cacao listened silently, staring up at the night sky. His arms uncrossed, sliding down to his legs to support himself as he crouched down beside Peach Blossom. He smelled of a vague sweetness, of spring leaves and sweetgrass, of dried flowers and summer evenings. Peach Blossom continued to explain the story he knew of the stars, but his words began to fade into the back of Dark Cacao's mind. His eyes dragged down, watching as his mouth moved. He stared as he blinked, watched his chest rise and fall as he breathed. The world seemed to move in slow motion. He felt an odd calm wash over him, at peace. Peach Blossom's voice was a near-silent murmur in the background, a comforting white noise. This burning tightness arose in his chest, a fluttering behind his jaw, his neck tense and his jaw clenched. His stomach turned and twisted, tying and untying, knotting and spinning. What was this feeling? It was unlike anything he had felt before, or at least, that he could recall.

"-ffered to them as black and white respectively... Is everything alright?"

Dark Cacao blinked, his mind coming back to reality, taking a short breath before speaking. "My apologies, I believe the cold is... Distracting me from your tale. Perhaps we could go inside and speak further?" An excuse. He was not the kind of man to lie, but truthfully, what else could he say? 'I wasn't listening, I was staring at your lips and thought you were so pretty I just stopped hearing you speak' He thought, his brow scrunching in annoyance mixing with his embarrassment. His face dropped as the two walked, a realization of his own thoughts hitting him in waves. 'Pretty? ...When did I start thinking that? Why does that matter? You owe him a great debt for his assistance... You owe him for ripping him from immortality. You owe him for the grave sins you have committed against him, why is that what your mind is focused on? This is not about you.' The thoughts of self-deprecation slammed against his mind like an unforgiving ocean, his eyes squeezing shut to silence them.

"If you are not feeling well, I would not be offended if you returned to your chambers. It is quite late, after all."

Peach Blossom's voice snapped Dark Cacao from his thoughts, his eyes sliding back open. "Oh, no, my apologies. It is... Just the cold, is all." Peach Blossom let out a breathy giggle, a soft smile spreading across his face. "One would think you, of all cookies, would be used to the weather by now, no?" Was he... Teasing him? Dark Cacao chuckled, pushing the door back in to the palace open, gesturing for Peach Blossom to return indoors first. "Perhaps one would think, though I am just as much a cookie as any of my subjects." Peach Blossom nodded, walking through the doors and glancing back at the King.

"It is nice to see a King be so grounded. Your subjects are lucky to have you."

Dark Cacao followed after him, a silent frustration with himself ever present in his mind. Why was his body reacting like this? Why could he not control the beating of his heart and the depths of his breaths around this man?

What... Was this feeling brewing deep in his gut and twisting around his heart?

Chapter 4

Summary:

It's been far too long for Peach Blossom to not have some appropriate winter attire of his own, but what demons plague the thoughts of the Cacao Kingdom's ruler so over such a menial task?

Dark Cacao stood before a large pile of fabrics and furs, his hand to his chin deep in thought. He ran his other hand across fleeces and sherpa, the fabric hooking beneath dried skin, causing him to stretch his fingers and bend his hand away from the sensation. It was not a material he was particularly fond of, but it also was not for him. A palace seamstress stood by his side, her facial expression professional with an underlying tone of anxiety as her eyes scanned across the vast selection. After some time, Dark Cacao shook his head, causing a look of defeat to spread across her face. With a gentle wave of his hand, she gathered the materials in her arms and placed them to the side, pulling another large array from the opposing side and laying them out across the table. Dark Cacao repeated the process once more, feeling the fabrics, turning and examining each and every piece before shaking his head once again and changing the selection. As he continued his harsh review, a gentle knock came at the door, interrupting his train of thought.

"Yes?"
"Lord Dark Cacao? May I come in?"

Dark Cacao paused for a moment, silently standing as he tried to come to a decision. Before he could, the door gently creaked open, curious pink and cyan hues peeking into the room. "Hello?" The voice echoed once again as he walked into the room, seeing the collection of material before the King.

"Oh, my apologies for interrupting."
"No, it is I who should apologize. I should have responded sooner. How may I help you, Peach Blossom?"
"You mentioned the other day that you wished to speak over lunch? If you are too busy, we can always reschedule."

Dark Cacao's heart sank. He had always been terrible at keeping track of the time when his mind had been set to a task. He had hardly noticed just how much time had passed; it explained quite a fair bit, though. Why the seamstress' eyes had grown so hollow, why his arms and his legs hurt, why it felt like he had just been looking at the same swatches over and over again. He closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath, before turning to the seamstress.

"My apologies. If we may have a moment?"

"Of course, my Lord." Relief mixed into her professional tone as she excused herself from the room, almost a little too quickly. Dark Cacao averted his attention back to Peach Blossom, now rifling with the fabrics himself. He eyed them curiously, running his hands across the plush piles, pausing between fabrics and texture changes. He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it in thought as he watched the smaller man mess with the materials. Dark Cacao had never seen Peach Blossom act this way before, never seen him engage in such curious activities. Though, to be frank, he did not see Peach Blossom do much of anything besides spend time in the courtyard's garden. He stared at Peach Blossom's curious expression, watching as he leaned over the pile and grabbed at the fleece and furs.

"What is the plan with all of these.... fineries?" Peach Blossom finally chirped, holding a small square of the fleece in his hands, gently ruffling and smoothing the pills and piles as he spoke. Dark Cacao blinked for a moment, lost in thought. He'd had this conversation before. Not with Peach Blossom, but with another. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before speaking. "It is for you. Your attire is... Not appropriate for the weather, or for the general Cacao courts. The right attire will give you more freedom to go where you please whenever the feeling strikes."

"Oh! Well... That is awfully kind of you, but I don't know if I can accept such a... Luxurious gift so soon. I have only been here for a few months, I don't know if I could accept something so... Elaborate and customized..."

There it was again. That creeping deja-vu in the back of his mind. The tone was different, yet the words slithered through his ears and wrapped tightly around his heart. He'd had this conversation before, too. Almost uncharacteristically, he took a breath in and asked "Would something less expensive be to your tastes?" His expression soured, looking down at his hands, clenched and shaking. Peach Blossom looked up at him, puzzled. He placed the swatch back on to the table, walking to Dark Cacao's side before gently placing his hand on Dark Cacao's clenched fist, his other hand drifting to the small of Dark Cacao's back. The tension, for a moment, melted. Dark Cacao's body relaxed ever so slightly, enough for Peach Blossom to find the courage to speak.

"I just do not wish to inconvenience you for any debt you may see due to repay. Truly, I appreciate all of what you do for me, my Lord, but I do not wish to be a burden. If this is what makes you feel more comfortable, then I am all in favour of helping you however you see fit. If something less extravagant relieves your burden, then by all means, parade me around in a burlap sack. If there are any debts to be repaid, it is myself to you, not the other way around."

His body tensed once more, he'd had this conversation before. He'd heard these words before. These assurances. Memories flooded his head, the world dimming around him. What were simply moments in reality felt much longer to Dark Cacao, as his brain finally connected the pieces of what it was trying to recall. Pleasantries, long walks in the courtyard in the evening, teaching him subjects and histories he had not been privy to, it had all happened before. He had been down this road before, and he recalled the ruin it almost made of not just him nor his kingdom, but of his family. His people. Yet moments of levity, of softness and kindness tug at his heartstrings. He had been used, he knew this, he knew there was no happy ending to that story and yet... His mind dwelled on it continuously, as it had ever since he had left. Was there something he could have done differently? Something he could have changed? No, surely not. His feelings, he knew deep down, were one-sided. He had to shake it off, he had to move forward, he had to be strong, for his people. He raised his head to look at the man next to him, his eyes narrowed slightly, before coming to rest on Peach Blossom's face. Concern, plain as day.

"My Lord, you do not seem well. Have you been sleeping alright? You look quite pallid..."
"...Perhaps I am... Overthinking things again."

Peach Blossom smiled gently, a look of silent reassurance on his face. He moved his hands to rest on Dark Cacao's arm for a moment, giving it a gentle and supportive squeeze, before turning back to the table. "I think I would like something with this. It just feels so..." Peach Blossom trailed off as he lifted the square of fleece back up from the table once more, gently rubbing it against the side of his face. "It's very warm, you know?" Dark Cacao was quiet for a moment before a gentle chuckle filled the silence. "I've always hated that material, you know." He spoke as he approached the table, his hands coming to rest on the furs sitting adjacent. Peach Blossom cocked his head slightly in curiosity, placing the square back on to the table as he spoke.

"Really? Why is that?"
"It... Sticks to my hands, my elbows."

Peach Blossom's brow furrowed curiously, lifting the square once again with one hand, and gently holding Dark Cacao's with the other. The difference in size between the two was startling, Dark Cacao's hand eclipsing Peach Blossom's in size and thickness. The textures couldn't be more different, too. Peach Blossom's hands were quite soft and smooth, light callouses dotted the fold between his index finger and his thumb, one would imagine from weeding or pruning. Most certainly not the hands of a warrior. Dark Cacao's hands were dry, thick and calloused, the palms lighter in colour accentuating the difference in skin thickness all the more. They were hands hardened by war, by holding and swinging, lunging and slicing. As Peach Blossom dragged the material over the roughened skin, the fibers caught on the lifted edges of Dark Cacao's skin, leaving little wisps of material behind and a slightly discomforted look on the old King's face. Peach Blossom laughed slightly, gently picking at the loosened fibers.

"I see... Yes, that would explain why you do not like it so much. I cannot imagine that to be a pleasant sensation."
"I can also understand why you might enjoy it."

The two froze for a brief moment, Peach Blossom's eyes meeting Dark Cacao's mid-pick of the remaining fibers. He blinked before a slight smile slipped across his face, returning back to removing the fibers. Dark Cacao's mind raced with thoughts. Why had he said that the way he had? Why did he pick that time? Saying something like that to someone you had hardly just met was such a social faux pas, was it not? Had they hardly just met? It had been several months, and the whole reason they were in this situation was specifically because he desired to spend more time with him. Why did he want to spend more time with him? Was this not to be a temporary arrangement? To repay Peach Blossom for the extreme sacrifice he had paid. No, no that wasn't just it. This was a selfish act, was it not? To assuage his guilt? To beg for forgiveness? Perhaps that is the feeling that swirled and sank and bit in his gut, his heart and his mind whenever the two locked eyes. There was so much life behind those eyes now, no longer glassy and eternal pools of gentle blues and pinks, but a life behind that stare. He had given life to another just to bring them more pain, that is what this was, that is what it had to be.

"Would it be alright if I was a little specific with my requests? I do not wish to burden you, so having the garments made only once would be ideal, would it not?"

Dark Cacao snapped back to attention, his thoughts sliding back into the darkened depths from whence they came, his focus back to the moment at hand. As Peach Blossom finished removing the fibers, Dark Cacao's hand clenched shut, then opened again, his fingers stretching out before coming to relax again at his side. "Of course. This will be something that you would be wearing quite frequently, so being satisfied with it is important." He answered, gently rubbing his hand on the inside of his cape. Peach Blossom closed his eyes and smiled brightly at the old king, his hands laced together at his chest as he spoke.

"Oh good! Perhaps we can discuss the finer details over that lunch? It must have been quite some time since you last ate, we should get something in you soon!"
"Oh, yes, of course. If there are any requests you have, I can send them to the chef before we get seated."

Peach Blossom's eyes slid open, the smile remaining on his face. "Oh, I've actually come to rather like the bitter cocoa nibs and the plain jellies here, so whatever you wish I do not mind partaking in!" His hands slid down to his stomach, one of his thumbs gently hooking behind the belt of his robes. Dark Cacao stared at his attire once more, watching as the thin layers trembled slightly. There was no breeze in this room, he knew what this meant. With a gentle sigh, he unclasped the hook holding his cape across his shoulders, gently flipping it around and resting it on Peach Blossom's. He blinked in surprise, but still clutched gently at the sides, pulling them closer to the center and burying his face within the fur trim.

"Come, I shall show you where I eat my personal meals, it will be more quiet than where we were going prior. This way, nothing is forgotten." Dark Cacao opened the door for Peach Blossom, gently gesturing to him to go ahead first. Peach Blossom nodded, gently walking through the doorway. As he passed Dark Cacao, the man leaned down ever so slightly, speaking gently as he walked.

"And, please... Tell me if you get cold again, alright?"