Will It All Go Dark, If You're Not With Me

by Shade_Penn1

Summary:

Niwa has long since accepted that all he has left is Dottore.

Unfortunately.

Chapter 1

The time which passed could have been one year, or a hundred. The days all seemed to blend together even more, leaving Niwa in a daze as he rarely left the compound, and even less times when he went out of the bedroom altogether. He’d taken Dottore’s threat to heart, as it were, and refused to come in contact with another human if he could help it. Niwa lived in this uncertain space where Dottore still had a use for him, even he could not understand it, but any person Niwa gave his attention too would not be so lucky.

Not that it’d help anyway, even without his presence. Niwa had always understood that Dottore didn’t have any scruples, and anything was fair game in pursuing greater knowledge with his research, so if that crazy bastard wanted to use someone in his experiments, then he was going to do it regardless of anything else, bar a direct order from his superior. And even Niwa doubted it get him to stop.

I wonder how he describes it; whether he lists an operative’s death as mission related, or an occupational hazard, Niwa thought. There was an…odd detachment, because for how much Niwa avoided giving Dottore’s experiments any thought – strangely enough, Dottore had always done the same; he never let Niwa know what he wasn’t supposed to, and he always came back to bed smelling like anti-septic and soap. I’d call it thoughtful if I didn’t know he just doesn’t want me to bother him about it.

And truly, Niwa didn’t want to talk to the people in the compound, or in the town. Kabuki – no, that’s right, it was Scaramouche now – his rejection still hurt, and it became a certainty there was no chance of having any help here, if his dearest friend so completely wanted nothing to do with him.

It wasn’t to say Niwa didn’t notice Scaramouche coming and going sometimes when he was gazing out the window, but the young man never once acknowledged him or asked after him. Or at least, Dottore never gave any indication Scaramouche asked about him if he did.

Curiously, Dottore seemed perfectly content to just pretend Scaramouche didn’t exist while he was with Niwa, rather than rub it in that Scaramouche still hated him. Perhaps he didn’t want to bother stating something so obvious.

And it wasn’t as if Niwa hadn’t gotten that fleeting impulse to see the young man again, but the slap still echoed in his ears, and the desire was squashed under the sting of that rejection.

Sighing, Niwa looked out the window. He noticed one of those upgraded carriages outside, and Zandik stepping out of it. The segment noticed Niwa right away, and grinned up at him before moving towards the door. I don’t have a lot of time before he gets to the room, especially if Dottore doesn’t want to talk to him.

Niwa looked at the state of the bedroom. Though neither he nor Dottore were human, Niwa still cleaned their bedroom meticulously to avoid the staff in the compound coming in here. And if he were honest, boredom was also partially to blame. There were only so many books he could read before the plots started to blur together.

Niwa’s gaze drifted to the drawer by the bed. The Sakura blossom necklace had been the first one tossed in there, but now it was filled with more trinkets the other segments gave him. Niwa dug through the myriad of bracelets and combs and necklaces, until he found the familiar edges of the blossom necklace. Niwa slipped it around his neck, and glanced up as the footsteps approached outside. He’d learned by now to differentiate each segment by the things he could and couldn’t; different gaits, different styles, and the more obvious things like age.

The door pushed open, and Zandik stepped inside. His gaze swept over Niwa as he shut the door behind him, and grinned with all those sharp teeth on display when he spotted the necklace. “Did you miss me?” he purred.

“Does it count when you can literally see me through Dottore’s memories?” Niwa retorted.

Zandik laughed, and immediately leaned in for a kiss once he had Niwa in reaching distance. Niwa long since stopped resisting. “Why, I want to hear you say it, of course.”

“Of course.” Niwa echoed. And he knew Zandik wouldn’t let it go unless the right response got parroted back to him. Niwa understood it didn’t actually matter if he meant them, the segment just wanted to hear them. So Niwa let that fixed smile cross his lips as he said, “I missed you.”

Zandik’s grin widened. “I know you did.” He pulled Niwa with him over to the fireplace. “Sit down, I’ll get this going.”

Niwa wondered where this was going, and sat down at the coffee table by the fire pit. The segment placed a bundled of firewood from a pile next to the pit inside. It was getting low. Despite not needing the warmth, Niwa still liked the familiar heat and smell of it. I’ll have to get more firewood later.

“You?”

Niwa started when Zandik looked at him, another narrowed look in his eyes. Stop thinking out loud, he scolded himself. It hadn’t gotten to the point Niwa needed to hear his own voice for company, but he was getting there. And these little slips between his brain and mouth were further proof of it. “Yes.” His brow furrowed when Zandik knelt before him, and grabbed his hands. The segment frowned as he examined them, from palms to the back. It took a moment to understand what he was looking for.

Niwa swallowed hard. “My skin doesn’t get calluses.” Through over the presumed years Dottore modified him, that had been one of the things he never let Niwa have. Bruises and bites, those were temporary, but a scar or a blemish like calluses? Dottore never let anything like that remain on Niwa; he kept him pristine and stain free.

A perfect doll, Niwa thought bitterly.

“Yes, perfect.” Niwa stiffened when Zandik lifted one of Niwa’s hands to nuzzle into his palm. “And you’re all mine.” Perhaps realizing how little that statement meant, Zandik scowled slightly. “You know what I mean.”

“I do.” Niwa muttered. Unfortunately. “I don’t actually go out and cut the wood myself. I tell Dottore when things are running out, and a servant gets it done. And it’s not like I can go beyond the gate anyway.”

“True, I just can’t imagine you outside cutting firewood.” Zandik said, his tone amused.

Something out it caused Niwa’s back to straighten, a wave of indignation curling inside of him. “I know how to do it though.” He said. “I’m more than capable of taking care of myself, and looking after other people.”

Zandik only shrugged, easily dismissing Niwa’s words. “That was hundreds of years ago. That was the old you.” He let go of Niwa’s hands, only to reach out and cup his cheek. “This is the new you. And the only thing that should be on your mind is me – us, do you understand?”

“Yes.” Niwa did, very much. He couldn’t have gone this long without understanding how things were, if only a little. While Niwa never left the compound or this room on his own, Zandik and Prime were the only ones who took him anywhere outside. The other segments kept to the compound, coming with their own things and various ideas of how to…play with him. I doubt it’s fear, but Dottore never bothers to interfere with Prime or Zandik the way he does the others.

Zandik scoffed, a slight sneer crossing his lips. “Of course he doesn’t. We have seniority.”

Niwa stilled, his eyes widening. “W-what?”

Zandik tilted his head. “Prime and I were created before the Omega Build, so he can’t boss us around.” Then he scoffed again. “Really, Omega shouldn’t be able to boss anyone around, but can you guess why he can?”

The answer was pathetically obvious. “Me?” Niwa asked quietly.

“Presumptuous, aren’t you?” Zandik retorted. Niwa grimaced, but the segment just laughed. “Though you’re not really wrong. Of course, we all have the same power so there’s no reason to fight over that. You though? There’s only one of you, and Omega was assigned to be the one who reconstructed you.”

And Niwa knew why that was. Dottore was the one who was with him in Inazuma. His memories of the time would be more accurate. And sometimes, Niwa hated that he could look in a mirror, and see a near perfect replica staring back at him. “I’m surprised he only made one of me then.”

Zandik waved his hand dismissively. “When Omega got the clearance to reconstruct you, one is the only amount the Tsaritsa allowed.”

Niwa remembered that conversation too. That Dottore tricked the Cryo Archon into letting him to commit blasphemy by allowing her to believe he did it out of love. Niwa huffed. “I’m surprised he hasn’t been found out yet.” Or tried to marry me just for show.

“Would you?” Niwa’s eyes snapped back up to Zandik’s, whose gaze was narrowing. “Would you marry me for real?”

Niwa opened his mouth, but snapped it shut before his thoughts could slip free. No, no he would not. Never, ever. He made a strangled noise in the back of his throat, but knew he was taking too long to answer. Zandik’s eyes had narrowed to a point, a scowl starting to form at the corner of his mouth. Hoarsely, Niwa managed to say, “Aren’t we already?”

Zandik’s expression didn’t change for a moment, before he scoffed and got back on his feet. Niwa’s shoulders slumped in relief when the segment’s back was turned. Yet that reprieve didn’t last long, as when the segment finished igniting the fire, he turned around and Niwa found himself flat on his back with Zandik on top of him.

Niwa’s eyes widened. “Y-you just got here.”

“And I’ve been wanting to do it for a lot longer.” Zandik retorted. “We all might have access to you, but the Omega Build is irritatingly pushy about gathering data.” His finger ran along Niwa’s cheek, trailing down to his jaw. “And so that means our time with you is limited, or have you spent so long in here you forgot how much time has passed between each visit?”

Niwa’s lips thinned. He doubted the truth would make it pleasant, but since when did that ever matter to any version of Dottore? “I don’t know.” He admitted. “It could’ve been a year, or a hundred since the last time I checked.” Or he cared to know. “There isn’t much for me to do than stay in here as your sex slave.”

Zandik clicked his tongue. “What an ugly thing to say.” His hand gripped Niwa’s jaw tightly, forcing him to meet his gaze. “Are you not allowed a warm bed to rest on, free to roam to your – well, not heart – but to your own content? That you aren’t made to work endlessly, with no freedom in sight? Remember, you aren’t a prisoner here.” Zandik smiled, and it was just the same unpleasant, cold smile they all shared. “Did you forget that too?”

Niwa gritted his teeth. “No.” he whispered.

Zandik leaned down, his voice lowering. “And in return, is it so much to ask that I have complete, unfettered access to your body when I so desire? You make it seem as though that’s all of you that interests me.”

“You certainly don’t want me for anything else.”

Niwa stiffened, biting the inside of his cheek. Zandik stared at him, his expression eerily blank. Slowly, his eyes narrowed again as he leaned back to straddle Niwa’s waist. He reached down, and grasped one of Niwa's hand to examine it again. Niwa tensed as Zandik traced his fingers over the skin.

“I know you can do other things.” The segment’s voice was deceptively gentle. The smile which crossed his lips was anything but. “Yet why would you want to? You have no worries, no concerns,” his eyes narrowed, his fingers digging into Niwa’s hand, “so why are you not content with me?”

It wasn’t the first time Niwa had been through this. While Dottore was entirely secure with where things stood between them in that smug, condescending way of his, Zandik always seemed to flip between mania and apprehension, as if he needed the to hear the personal validation.

It didn’t even matter to Zandik if it was just Niwa parroting his words back.

“Say you want me.” - “I want you.”

“Aren’t I kind to you?” - “You’re kind to me.”

“You think I’m nice, don’t you?” - “Yes, you’re nice.”

“You’re my perfect doll, you know that, right?” – “I…I know. I’m your perfect doll.”

Niwa swallowed. “I’m content with you.”

Zandik’s smile widened into a grin as he leaned back in. His red eyes bore into Niwa’s brown. “You are? And what do you like the most?”

What? Niwa bit his tongue to keep it from slipping out. This wasn’t how things were supposed to go. Zandik should have just blindly took him at face value and fucked Niwa like he always did. He wasn’t supposed to press for more. What am I suppose to say? He thought. The longer the silence went on, the angrier Zandik was going to get. Niwa already noticed the suspicion entering the segment’s gaze, his grin seeming to shift into a snarl.

Niwa let out a shuddering breath. “T-there’s a lot.” He stuttered, and desperately tried to grasp what those could be. “You…you…” Zandik’s eyes bore into his, and Niwa tensed, “I like that you take me on dates. Those are n-nice. You’re the only one who does it.”

Niwa raised his free hand to cup the segment’s cheek. He softened his voice. “I miss it.”

Zandik leaned into the touch, his eyes drifting closed. His grip loosened on the hand he still held. “I know you do. I’ll be sure to take you out the next time I visit.” Niwa grimaced, but quickly smoothed his expression when Zandik opened his eyes. “What else?”

What else? Niwa thought incredulously. What else was there? “I…” He came up empty, and hoped what he said next wouldn’t be as abrupt as it felt, “I’m lonely.”

“Lonely?” Zandik repeated, his eyes narrowing more in confusion than suspicion. It cleared, and he scoffed. “Right. The Omega Build does everything to keep you to himself, but he doesn’t bother doing anything with all that time.” He leaned down until their noses touched. “If you were with me, I’d never let you out of my sight.”

Niwa did not find that to a better alternative. “Dottore is just busy.” It was the only reason he could think of that the man’s visits grew sparse. If Dottore was bored of him, Niwa wouldn’t still be functioning. “There must be a lot you’re all busy with.”

Zandik huffed. “Most of us are just out there travelling. The technological advancement the Omega Build provides for the Tsaritsa has passed. He only finds his experiments more interesting than you now.”

Are you sure? Yet Niwa could not ask that, because there was no way he’d get the truth. He was forced to rely on the things he could see and even then, it was hard to trust his eyes. Much like when he’d been stunned by an older-looking segment who’d presented him with a box full of books from Inazuma. Those light novels with the long titles he still couldn’t believe the Kitsune Guuji gave a seal of approval too. Especially that hentai with the slimes.

“I suppose you’re right; we might as well be married with how bored you are.” Zandik said absently.

Niwa tensed. “I – I didn’t say bored.” He said quickly. “I – I’ve just already been through this.”

Wrong thing to say. Zandik’s expression darkened. “That’s right. You already were married; you got to have a wedding, a house to live in, children to raise.” His tone was heated and bitter, and his eyes narrowed again. “So what’s missing from ours?”

Niwa blinked rapidly. He didn’t know what went through the segment’s mind, and he still didn’t care to. “Nothing.”

Zanik huffed, before he pecked Niwa on the lips. “Oh, I know what’s missing now.” His hips shifted to press flush against Niwa, who felt the segment’s shaft stirring against him. “Don’t worry, if the Omega Build wants to keep you all to himself, he can be the one who…” Zandik slowly trailed off, his mouth curling into another unpleasant smile, “no, I think I’ll let that be a surprise.”

Niwa wasn’t certain about what that meant, but he didn’t have long to dwell on it before Zandik finally got what he came here for in the first place.

Chapter 2

“Wake up.”

Niwa slowly roused from his rest, blinking as he sluggishly sat up. He furrowed his brow, glancing at the door as Dottore came in and closed it shut behind him. “What it is?”

Dottore didn’t pause on his way to the closet. “We’re taking a trip, go wash yourself.”

That woke Niwa right up. His eyes widened. “A – a trip?” he repeated. “Where?”

“Fontaine.” Dottore said curtly. “Now get to it.”

Niwa grimaced. He finally got to leave Snezhnaya, and Fontaine is where they were going? “Can you tell me why you chose there?”

“Chose.” Dottore repeated, his tone condescending. “You think I chose it? I have business to attend there, and it’s simply the best course of action to deal with these two things.”

That didn’t answer my question, Niwa thought, which meant he wasn’t going to get a straight answer if he pressed it. Rolling his eyes, Niwa climbed out of bed and made his way to the washroom and closed the door behind him.

It didn’t take much time to draw a bath and slip into it. Niwa closed his eyes and let the warmth wash over him. It did not sooth him, but it was familiar and pleasant. He scrubbed at his skin to clear away the fluids and filth, and rinsed through his hair with some fragrant smelling product. And when he was done, Niwa reached for the towel he left on the edge of the tub and let the water start down the drain.

Niwa patted down his hair, and heard the door opening. He peered under the cover of the towel at the mirror, and caught sight of Dottore looking him over. Niwa huffed. “If you wanted to fuck me, you should have done it before I washed up.” He grunted as the towel was yanked from his grasp as Dottore walked by him.

The man placed a bundle of clothing on the sink counter, before he came to stand in front of Niwa. “You think I would let that get in my way?”

“No.” Niwa admitted. He closed his eyes, and felt the warm breath ghosting over his skin, and the towel start moving along his chest. It rubbed circles into his skin, roving down with each stroke. Niwa bit the inside of his cheek, and clenched his fists. Pleasure tingled up his spine, the feeling starting to pool inside of him. The towel dragged along his waist, before transitioning to his back.

“Tell me,” Dottore said quietly, “how long would it take for me to have you and still be ready to leave within the next thirty minutes?”

Niwa swallowed hard. Thirty minutes? “You should have started with that.” He whispered. Bracing himself, he opened his eyes and stared the man down. “Even if you’re careful not to get anything on yourself, and I’m quick in washing back up; you still won’t get to take your time dressing me up.” He exhaled slowly. “So you can take the opportunity to fuck me now, or wait until we reach a resting point on this trip.”

Dottore regarded him for a moment, before he gave Niwa a patronizing pat on the cheek. “A sound argument – and here I thought you’d lost that part of you.”

“Disappointed?” Niwa retorted.

“On the contrary, it makes you more interesting.”

Niwa did not think that was a good thing. He was allowed to finish drying himself off as Dottore went to grab the clothing. Once he was done, the man slipped hakama pants up Niwa’s legs, and tied the sash off at the front. A plain white undershirt was slipped over his head and through his arms, before a tunic followed over top.

“This is a lot plainer than what you usually dress me in.” Niwa said. His eyes closed as Dottore’s gloved fingers brushed through his hair, and sighed into the touch. “Tired of reusing the same clothes?”

“Then I suppose we’ll both be bringing back something from Fontaine.” Dottore replied.

Niwa furrowed his brow, but felt the man’s other finger touch his brow, and smoothed it out. “Are you carrying me out too, or do I get proper shoes this time?”

Dottore scoffed, before he pulled away. Niwa opened his eyes in time to spot the man grab the sandals to complete the look. Niwa slipped his feet into the shoes placed in front of him, and followed Dottore out of the washroom. “You have two feet; you can walk yourself out.”

Niwa rolled his eyes, and closed the door to the bedroom behind him. He paused for a moment. It was…strange. No doubt while they were gone, a servant was going to come and clean the room up. That left an uncomfortable sinking feeling in his gut, the thought of anyone else being in their bedroom, even if just to tidy up.

Dottore’s footsteps halted, and his voice called out, “Do you want me to carry you? You’re going to be sorely disappointed.”

Niwa stiffened, before he shook his head. “No, I don’t.” he replied. “I…I just don’t like the thought of someone in our bedroom.”

“Oh? You handle the other segments defiling our bed quite well.” Dottore retorted.

Niwa scoffed, but didn’t bother with a response. He only continued following the man back down the hall towards the entrance. The carriage was already waiting for them outside, and Niwa breathed in the cold air and the feel of the snow covering his feet as he walked down the path towards the gate. His view from the window told him the frozen landscape hadn’t changed, but the sight of the carriage was also unremarkable now thanks to the same.

The driver opened the door for them, but Niwa noticed the confused turn of the agent’s mouth when spotting him. Right, it was likely long enough now that Niwa doubted any of Dottore’s current operatives knew who he was. He wondered what he looked like to them; some strange curiosity? It was doubtful even the Fatui who worked in the compound knew about Niwa anymore.

Niwa climbed into the carriage after Dottore, and the man grabbed his arm to tug him into the seat beside him. The door slammed shut as he sat down. “Is this going to be a problem?”

“Such as?” Dottore asked, and he grasped a lock of Niwa’s hair to stroke it between his fingers.

Niwa stared into the floor. This carriage box didn’t have a heater, but he felt the warmth starting to circulate through it not long after it started moving. “Clearly, I’m not a Fatuus.” Obvious, but it needed to be said anyway with where he was going. Perhaps it was why Dottore didn’t deride him for it this time. “So, what am I supposed to do when I’m alone and someone thinks I’m a trespasser?”

“Why would you be alone?” Dottore retorted. “You won’t be leaving my side, and no one would dare do anything as foolish as to question me about it.” His hand dropped to stroke along Niwa’s cheek, to trail along his jaw and wrapped his hand around the back of Niwa’s neck. “Or do you want something more…visible? Perhaps a nice collar to show everyone that you’re mine.”

“You mean one to match yours?” Niwa muttered.

Dottore’s grip slackened for a moment, before he chuckled. “Not a fan then? Maybe then I’ll get you a nice bracelet – or perhaps an anklet since you got it into that idiot’s head about how our marriage is lacking.”

Niwa grimaced. “Then I’ll wait until Zandik steals your idea and gives me one for when he comes back.”

“Oh, I’m certain I’ll find something suitable before he can claim credit first.”

Niwa slid back in his seat once he was released. He hoped this wouldn’t end up with his ankle being decorated with enough mora’s weight in gems that’d it cause some Treasure Hoarder to do the stupid thing and try to steal it. His eyes traced over the steel plating that made up the roof, held together by round bolts keeping it together. The last time he’d been in a carriage, the inside was made of a different material. Perhaps this one conducted heat better.

The slight rocking of the carriage caused Niwa’s eyes to drift half-closed, his body relaxing into the unpleasant and rigid seat. He wasn’t sure how long this tranquillity lasted, but he knew when it ended.

The carriage hit a bump in the road – and Niwa got knocked off balance. He grunted as his upper body landed on Dottore’s lap. Niwa tried to back off, but the man’s hand dug into his shoulder to hold him still. Dottore pushed him down, and the man’s bulge pressed into the back of his shoulder. The man’s other hand stroked through his hair.

Niwa shivered as his body went pliant once more. “Is this your idea of wearing me down? Take any chance you get so I’ll finally suck your cock?”

“Wear you down? Don’t be ridiculous.” Dottore retorted. “I’ve no need to resort to such methods. You’re the only one who treats this like some grand resistance.”

You wouldn’t bring it up otherwise, Niwa thought, but it likely didn’t matter anyway. “Are you waiting for one of the other segments to try it first, and to see if I really will bite it off?”

Dottore’s hand trailed from his shoulder, down to Niwa’s mouth. He traced his thumb over his bottom lip. “If they do try – be sure to make it hurt.”

Does this mean you can feel pain just like I can? Niwa thought. Even when he’d reflexively dig his nails into Dottore’s skin, or leave scratches on the man, he never gave any indication it hurt. Or is that something you just modified me to feel more acutely? That wouldn’t be surprising.

“My lord?”

Niwa started. He’d forgotten there was an actual person driving this thing. The operative’s voice was muffled through the dark divider between them, but that the driver could hear everything they talked about was mortifying that Niwa wanted to crawl back into a hole and never come out. He groaned and buried his face into Dottore’s thigh. The man’s fingers stopped moving for a moment, before they trailed down to rub the area between Niwa’s shoulder blades.

“What is it?” Dottore called back.

“I can spot our destination in the distance, my lord.” The operative called back. “We will be arriving shortly.”

“Yes, I see.”

Niwa frowned, and suspected the only reason the man let him sit up was because of their destination being so close at hand. “Did we reach Snezhnaya’s border that quickly?”

“Border? No.” Dottore said dismissively. “We’ll be stopping at one of my laboratory sites before the next leg of this journey will take us through Nod Krai to the harbour.”

“Harbour.” Niwa muttered. So they needed to take a boat to get to Fontaine? It was likely not so different from travelling between Inazuma’s islands, but it was hard to recall anymore if that was even true now. “You better not have made it so I can get sea sick.”

“I suppose we’ll find out soon enough.” The man smirked at him, and Niwa scowled back.

Though one thing had caught his attention, and Niwa’s scowl faded into a confused frown. “Laboratory? I thought the compound was that? How many do you need?”

“How many hours in a day?”

Niwa’s frown deepened. “Not enough to satisfy you.”

Dottore reached out, and smoothed the lines away. “Precisely.”

Chapter 3

When the door to the carriage opened, Niwa saw the laboratory was bigger than he expected. He assumed it’d be some walled off, small post – yet he should have known better. It wasn’t as large as the compound, but it was certainly not just a lab in there. Dottore brushed past Niwa, and the contingent of Fatui soldiers outside saluted the man.

Niwa followed Dottore out, and he noticed the confusion on some of the soldier’s faces when they spotted him. Still, no one made any comment as the two of them walked towards the entrance. Only one came up to them, and their attention was on Dottore.

“My lord, we received your missive and have prepared a room.”

“Yes, I’m sure. And how is the progress with the experiment?” Dottore asked.

“Progress is steady. A summation report has been prepared for your review, my lord.” The Fatuus said. “It will be brought to your room once you are settled in.”

“No need to wait, have it brought immediately.” Dottore replied, and the Fatuus nodded before they departed.

Niwa glanced around the compound; sterile gray walls and floors, and the only bit of color he could see were the Fatui’s uniforms. Though as he passed through the doorway into Dottore’s room, he stood firmly corrected. Not as lavish as their bedroom, but Niwa doubted anyone else got a room this nice. A lavish, four poster bed with downy pillows and silk sheets. A night stand beside it, and a dresser against the wall with a floor length mirror next to it. If that extra door didn’t lead to a private bath, Niwa would be surprised.

Dottore gave the room barely a cursory glance, before he looked back at Niwa. “You can rejoice; my immediate attention is needed to assess how things are faring.”

“I can explore to my heart’s content?” Niwa drawled.

“Disappointed?” Dottore retorted.

Niwa huffed. “Since I’m probably going to be spending the majority of this rest in here, I might as well look around.” The man just waved him off, and Niwa brushed past the agent carrying a stack of folders on his way out.

I’ll be surprised if I find anything interesting, Niwa thought. He just didn’t want to find the lab or other areas where any experiments were being done. The hallway was long and winding, but Niwa didn’t feel that unpleasant heaviness tug at him whenever he got too far from Dottore. When Niwa reached the end of the hall, he wasn’t sure if he found it disappointing or not. Nothing out of the ordinary, just a regular mess hall. Many of the tables were empty, but some of the Fatui were sitting in groups and talking amongst themselves. He knew the compound just had a kitchen everyone needed to share, so this might have been a step up.

While Niwa might not have needed food, taking in the smell was a mistake. A long-ago sense of hunger struck him, and he grimaced.

“What’s with that face? You not used to Snezhnayan food yet, fancy man?”

Niwa’s grimaced deepened. His eyes flickered to one of the occupied tables, some five people there staring at him. Though they all wore masks or face-obscuring bandages, it was clear their gazes were not friendly. Unease went down Niwa’s back, and he stiffened. “No,” he said hesitantly, “I…just didn’t expect there to be a mess hall.”

One of the Fatuus snorted. “You must be new then.”

Another snickered. “As if the clothes didn’t give it away.”

“Why aren’t you in uniform?”

I guess I’m just going to be wrong all the time; first thought is to assume I’m a new recruit, and the second is probably why anyone would be stupid enough to trespass here, Niwa thought. He knew the second would be worse, so he answered quickly, “I came here with Dottore.”

“Really now?” Now it seemed their interest was piqued. “Like you were personally recruited or something?”

“Something.” Niwa muttered.

“Wait…” One of the agents gave Niwa a long, hard stare, before falling back in their seat. “You were with the other Lord Dottore outside. Yeah, your sandals are still dragging water.”

Niwa flushed when all of them looked down at his feet. “I – I should go.” He’d let it sink in he wasn’t human while he wasn’t around. Yet he only ended up slamming into someone else when he turned. “Ah!" Niwa reeled back, but hands grabbed his arms to steady him.

When he noticed who it was, Niwa blinked. It was the Escher disguise, but instead of those Fontainian clothes, he was wearing a generic Fatui uniform. Furrowing his brow, Niwa started to ask, “Weren’t you going to read –”

Yet Escher only placed a finger over his lips, silencing him. “None of that now.” His lips pulled into that familiar, measured smile. “And isn’t it rude to just leave in the middle of a conversation like that?”

Niwa’s eyes widened. “What?” His insides twisted when Escher whirled him around, and wrapped an arm around his waist to pull him back into the mess hall. “What are you doing?” he whispered.

Escher ignored him, and he used his other hand to wave at the group of Fatui. “Well met, comrades. How have things been?”

Niwa couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Though it was Escher’s voice, he’d never heard anything like this coming out of him. He sounded…bizarre; his tone was almost cheerful. I didn’t know you could be happy. Or know how to fake it so well.

“Do we know you? You don’t look familiar.”

Yeah, because it’s so easy to tell when everyone wears a mask, Niwa thought. Yet when everyone at the table looked at him, Niwa flushed with embarrassment. He’d said this one aloud.

Escher chuckled. “He’s got us there.”

Niwa’s lips pressed tightly together as he was dragged over to the table. He finally let himself take stock of those at the table. A Cryo Cicin Mage, a Pyroslinger and Geomancer, a Hydrogunner, and a Fatuus with a generic uniform and mask.

The Fatuus huffed and crossed his arms. “Why aren’t you wearing your mask then? You heard that other Lord Dottore was here, didn’t you?” he pointed at Niwa. “And this one was with him – you want to get reported?”

The Cryo Cicin clapped her hands, rocking from left to right in her seat. “Or are you two cloooose?” she giggled. “That why you going without your mask? Your man won’t tattle on you?”

Niwa flushed, and it wasn’t helped by Escher smirking as he tightened his hold on Niwa’s waist. “He’s…” Niwa stopped, because he wasn’t sure anymore what to say. It’d been so long since he had talked to another person. Every part of him was ready to flee, with the arm around him the only thing keeping him rooted in place. “He does what he wants.” That was the most truthful thing he could muster on the spot.

The Hydrogunner looked at Escher. “I’d suggest you don’t ‘do what you want’ while in the other Lord Dottore’s presence. He doesn’t tolerate fools.”

“Yeah, unless you want to end up on his dissection table.” The Geomancer said. “I heard if you even look at him funny, he’ll have you sent for ‘evaluation.’”

“Really now?” Escher voice was light, but Niwa heard enough of the man’s tone to discern his mood no matter what his face looked like.

And gossiping about superiors wasn’t anything to get killed over. Niwa shifted in his seat, and leaned in to rest his head on Escher’s shoulder. The man’s gaze flickered down to him. Niwa reached up to stroke Escher’s chin, brushing along the goatee. Escher’s gaze darkened, a familiar desire flickering in his eyes. The man reached down to grip under Niwa’s knees, and he grunted as the man yanked him onto his lap. Niwa wrapped his arms around Escher’s neck and kissed him. Escher’s other hand grabbed the back of Niwa’s neck, and he deepened it.

Niwa didn't know how long it went on for, before someone whistled. “At least a get a room!”

Something so deep and familiar gnawed at Niwa, like a foggy memory he couldn’t quite grasp. He pulled away, his cheeks flushing. At least the rest of the table couldn’t see his expression right now. Niwa swallowed. “W-we should do that.”

Escher smirked, but his gaze flickered to the table behind Niwa. “It seems no one here minds.” He purred. “It did take a while for anyone to say something.”

There was a huff, and the Cicin giggling, before someone said, “That was shock. Kind of hard to say anything when you two started making out.”

“You did whistle.” Escher retorted.

“That was someone being an idiot.” Another grumbled. “You have sex in here, and we’re all complicit.”

“So you would watch then.” Escher chuckled. Niwa groaned and let his forehead fall against the man’s chest. His humiliation was a small price to pay so long as the man wasn't thinking of killing anyone at the table anymore. Escher rested his chin on the top of Niwa’s head. “Though if he’s so eager, I think we’ll be taking this somewhere else.”

Niwa turned his head to rest against Escher’s shoulder again, while the man lifted him under the knees, the other hand against his back. He didn’t say anything until they were out of the room. “What’s this all about? I thought you were reading those reports? Was there really so little for you to read?”

“Little? I suppose that depends. Despite how verbosely it was written, the actual useful information was minimal.” Escher replied, and his voice shifted back into Dottore’s though his appearance remained the same. “These fools still can’t tell the difference between pertinent information, and meaningless fluff.”

If they gave you nothing, they’ll think you’ll kill them, and they’re probably right, Niwa thought. “And what was that in the mess hall? Were you so bored that you wanted to listen to them gossip?”

“Bored? I needed to see how much the command had loosened here that I wasn’t getting better results, especially since it seems the segment in charge is far too lenient.” Dottore retorted.

Niwa found that hard to believe. “Like what? Sunscreen strong enough to prevent you from turning into a tomato?”

“I’ll have you know, I never got sunburned even while I was a human.”

“You’d have to go outside for that to happen.” Niwa retorted. He felt Dottore’s steps falter just a moment, and he looked up to see the flat expression on the man’s face. “Did I strike a nerve?” He smiled, and kissed at the man’s jaw.

Dottore’s gaze darkened further. “You’ll be making it feel better very soon.”

Niwa released a shuddering breath as the man’s lips found his neck, teeth grazing along the slope of it. “You’re going to trip.” He knew the man’s disguise is what caused him to act a bit freer; this Dottore wouldn’t be so brazen in public.

Footsteps rushed down the hall, and Niwa noticed the operative running down their way. Niwa glanced away and hoped they just kept running. Yet his insides twisted when their steps slowed to a halt. “You!”

Niwa grimaced, and pushed Dottore’s head away from his neck. “We’re moving to a room.”

“Not that, Lord Dottore wants to see you.”

Niwa’s brow furrowed. “He…does?” He noticed both the amusement and irritation just from a glimpse at Dottore’s face.

The operative nodded. “You can screw later, Lord Dottore wants to see you now.”

Niwa sighed, and slipped from Dottore’s grip to land back on his feet. “Alright.” He might as well get this out of the way. I guess I should have expected that there was a segment in charge when those soldiers kept mentioning the ‘other’ Dottore.

The operative led him through the hall, well beyond the room Dottore was staying in and Niwa assumed the segment’s office was on the other side of the compound. Niwa wondered which one it was, as he was certain he’d met all of them by now.

When they reached an ornate door, the operative knocked on it. “I’ve brought you the man who was with the other Lord Dottore.”

“Leave us.” The voice was muffled from inside, but the operative gave Niwa a hard look before departing.

Niwa furrowed his brow, before he opened the door. Every inch of him tensed right up. What the…fuck. He met every segment – he had to have. There’s no way that –

The segment sitting behind the office desk spoke up, “Is something the matter, Mister Niwa?”

Niwa tried to speak, but no words escaped him. He only stared, and tried to make sense of it – or to make it change. “Is this a joke?” he finally managed to say.

The segment blinked slowly. “A joke? What do you mean?” He tilted his head. “Why are you so surprised to see me?” A pause, before a pout formed on his mouth. “Or did the Omega Build never mention me?”

Niwa’s eye twitched. On the adult form, it’d look ridiculous, but on a – “Child.” He said hoarsely. “Dottore made a child segment of himself?”

And it was definitely a child. Hard to tell age from where they sat, but looked about ten-years-old. A mess of wild, curly blue hair, and bangs falling in front of large, red eyes. A round, boyish face, and a higher pitched voice. “Why wouldn’t he?”

“Why – because – because –” Niwa was too incredulous to even finish that thought. He just groaned and rubbed his forehead. Why was he surprised? Because I didn’t know not to be, Niwa thought despondently. He flinched when two small hands grabbed his wrist, and he looked down into those large red eyes.

The child beamed at him, and it was so bizarre to know this was still Dottore. “Are you upset? I know what’ll cheer you up. We can play Chess.”

“Huh?” Niwa was too stunned to do more than numbly let the boy pull him over to the desk. The child let go of him, and eagerly pushed aside a stack of papers before pulling a board from one of the drawers. Niwa swallowed hard. “You’re in charge?” he asked faintly.

The boy paused for a moment, before he started setting the board up. “Of course I am.” He puffed up his chest. “I’m still a Harbinger, who else would be in charge here?”

Niwa now understood why the personnel were strangely lax. “W-why did you want to meet me?”

“Why not?” The boy retorted. “Whenever I write to Omega that I want to see you, he always says you’re too busy to visit me – but everyone else got to meet you.” His small mouth curled into a snarl. Unlike the others, his teeth were blunt. “So when I realized Omega brought you with him, I just had to finally see you.”

Dread coiled up inside of Niwa. “That didn’t answer my question.”

“Huh?” The boy blinked, before he shrugged. “Oh, I just wanted to meet you, that's all. I wasn’t given access to the memories of you the others have, so I don’t know what you like, but sometimes I’d hear the others talk about how fun you are to play with.” The segment grinned at him. “You’re good at games then, right? It’s so boring beating everyone else here.”

Niwa inhaled sharply, his form seizing again. It was so hard to reconcile that this child was Dottore, yet he acted nothing like the man. He’s still a kid, he thought. “You…get lonely here?”

“I mean, I’m still doing what I’m supposed to, but,” The boy scowled at the stack of papers, “there’s so much work. The other segments don’t like each other, and they like me even less.” He jutted his chin up, smiling with confidence only a child could have. “It’s because when I get older, I’ll be smarter than all of them.”

Older. And Niwa’s insides sank. He doubted that would ever happen. Though Niwa wondered if this child understood the other segments were him when he’s older. He’s just another experiment for Dottore to get results from, Niwa thought despairingly.

Footsteps approached from outside, and the child’s smile abruptly twisted into another scowl. “I didn’t invite you.”

“Ah, that’s no way to speak to your elders, is it?” Dottore’s voice rang out, and his steps came to a stop at Niwa’s side. “Quite rude of you to not extend an invitation to me as well.”

“You’re boring.” The child snapped petulantly. “I wanted to play a game with Mister Niwa.”

“Niwa doesn’t know how to play Chess.” Dottore retorted. His tone was a bit sharper, and Niwa incredulously wondered if he’d start arguing with his child self. “And we were in the middle of something when your lackey came and interrupted us. I’ve indulged your little tantrum; we’ll be taking our leave now.”

From the way the boy’s face started to twist in anger and displeasure, Niwa realized Dottore had no idea a tantrum was about to happen. Before he could comprehend it himself, Niwa reached out. His hand landed on top of the boy’s curly hair, and ruffled the locks. The boy’s eyes widened; all traces of his anger replaced with such surprise that Niwa questioned how often the child received any affection.

A yearning for something long since gone came over Niwa in that moment; in the child’s place, he saw his own children. Their beaming smiles, the way their eyes lit up when he’d see them. And they’re gone. The thought knocked the rest of the breath from him, and Niwa struggled to keep his voice steady. “You can teach me how to play later.” he said gently. “Though you have to finish your work first, okay?”

The boy pouted, but seemed more thoughtful. “Promise?”

Niwa swallowed. He shouldn’t, and it was probably a mistake, but - “I promise.”

The boy’s shoulders sagged. “Fine then.”

Niwa nodded shakily, and gave the child one more pat on the head before he followed Dottore out of the room. Niwa closed the door behind him, and he was unsurprised to feel the tears pooling in his eyes as they walked down the hall. “You…” he whispered, “are far crueler than I thought you were.”

“Oh?” Dottore turned around, and touched Niwa's chin, lifting it as the tears fell down his cheeks. “Hmm, and if I’d known this would be your reaction, I’d have let you meet him sooner.” His smile was unpleasant. “Though you are still woefully naïve. We both know even if that child could grow, what he’d grow into.”

Niwa knew. The proof was standing in front of him. Still… Niwa blinked the tears away, and reached up to cup Dottore’s jaw with both of his hands. “Tell your other segments to keep their thoughts about me to themselves, please?” he asked softly. "He's still a child, he's too young to overhear what the others no doubt talk about."

“Hmm?” A smirk pulled at the corner of Dottore’s mouth. “You’re going to try your hand at emotional manipulation for some bratty child?”

Niwa breathed out slowly. “I suppose I am.” He said quietly. “I’ll admit I’m not as adept at it as you are.”

“No, you’re still hopelessly transparent.” Dottore said. His smirk widened as he leaned in, the tip of his mask brushing the bridge of Niwa’s nose. “Though I suppose just for the novelty of it, I can have the others agree and keep their thoughts to themselves.”

Niwa dropped his arms down to Dottore’s arms, and around to his back as he leaned further in to slid his head under the man’s chin, resting against his chest as he hugged him. “Thank you.”

Chapter 4

It had been a long time since a child clung to his arm, and refused to let go. Yet the pain which stabbed at his chest was no less familiar, even if he knew it was his mind supplying the memory to him. Still, Niwa had patted the child segment’s arm, smiling gently at him as he promised to write back to him, before the boy was finally mollified into letting him go. Niwa caught a glimpse of Dottore’s frown, before the man turned away and ordered him to follow like always.

Niwa would say this much, he didn’t get sea sick. A very small mercy, and after the first few days at sea were spent tucked away in Dottore’s cabin, such a small area became very stifling. It was like being trapped in a coffin – or a box. Niwa never forgot what punishment awaited him if he dared disobey the man.

A pretty doll, kept in their box and only taken out to be played with. Niwa still shuddered at the reminder.

“Are you cold, sir?”

Niwa started, his eyes flickering to one of the Fatui crew members. It was hard to discern their expressions than with Dottore, and he always knew with a sense of unease it was because how long they’d been together. “No, it’s just been a while since I’ve been on a ship.”

It hadn’t been much of a fight in getting to wander the ship, perhaps due to the obvious – plus, both he and Dottore knew Niwa wasn’t about to throw himself into the sea. As tempting as the brief thought was, the repercussions of it would be worse. The sky was clear, and the waves were gently rocking against the ship as it sailed toward their destination.

Niwa breathed in the crisp, brine laden air. “You don’t have to call me sir. Niwa is fine.”

“If that’s your wish, Master Niwa.”

Niwa grimaced, and leaned against the rail. Not this again, but it’s not like he didn’t understand it either. Even if no one guessed the nature of his and Dottore’s relationship, it was clear to anyone who saw them interact knew there was something between them, and that proximity always gave Niwa a higher regard than he liked. Because he understood it was always about how much these Fatui were scared of angering Dottore.

Niwa closed his eyes, and listened to the Fatuus’ footsteps leave, and the steps roaming further down the ship and higher up. If he stared out at the horizon, how long would it take until he could see land? Would there be any change to the area when they got to Fontaine? It was the land of Hydro, would there be a difference to what set it apart? Or maybe I’m just being ridiculous, he thought.

When Niwa sent his servants to scout of what ‘Escher’s’ motives were, it hadn’t been on his mind to ask them to take in the sights after all. From what he knew of Fontaine, were things he read from the scant books about it. And he reached for that hazy information – a research institute Dottore’s false identity claimed to be from, a police force, and the land had an air of theatrics to their court system presided over by their eccentric Hydro Archon.

And yet the distaste of association, even tangential as it were, with Dottore’s infiltration to Tatarasuna – Niwa found himself still wanting to see Fontaine. Though it was the last place he’d choose, this was still new, and it was better than staring out his window at the unchanging landscape covered by an almost never-ending winter.

New sights, and sounds, and things I’d probably never see in Snezhnaya, and definitely not in Inazuma, Niwa thought. The wind brushed along his skin, and rustled through his hair. He doubted he’d hear any birds this far out, and the faint chatter of the Fatui further down the ship still drifted on the air.

And the sound of firm, hard steps cut through it. Niwa didn’t need to look, to know who was behind him now.

“Has my time in the sun come to an end?” Niwa asked.

“So dramatic.” Dottore drawled. “Perhaps I should be asking if you’ve contemplated throwing yourself overboard.”

“I did,” Niwa admitted, “before I decided I’d hate being stuck at the bottom of the ocean, since I doubt you’d fish me out.”

There was a quiet chuckle. “A sound decision you’ve made on your own. I’m impressed.”

Niwa rolled his eyes, before finally glancing at the man. He stilled. Dottore was closer than he expected. “Are you going to tell me why you came out here, or is that even something I’m not privy too?” He grunted as Dottore grabbed his chin between his fingers, and pulled his face closer.

“So presumptuous you are.” The man said quietly. “All this time, and you still forget that you only know anything, is because I let you?”

Niwa grimaced. Oh, he did know – and he knew just as easily, Dottore could take it all away. “Why don’t you?” he whispered. It wasn’t even fear which laced his tone, but tiredness. “You’ve already taken so much from me, why not finish it? Erase my memories too, and leave me as an empty shell who takes all your abuse without complaint.”

Surprisingly, the man was silent. Even the other sounds of the waves and the chatter in the background seemed muted as they stared at each other.

Slowly, Dottore trailed his thumb along Niwa’s chin, to trail up along his jaw, and cupped his cheek. “If I did that, I might as well scrap this whole experiment entirely. You’d ask me to declare all these centuries a failure? With nothing to show for it?”

“What results are you even expecting?” Niwa asked.

Dottore shook his head, and pulled away. “It would be remiss of me to tell you that. Obviously, if you knew, the results would be tainted.”

Niwa grimaced, before his eyes widened in shock. His jaw went slack, and he tried to comprehend what was happening. Dottore slowly knelt to the floor, until he was down on one knee. This isn’t happening – what the hell is he doing? Niwa tried to speak, but it only came out in confused stuttering. “H-huh?”

“Your foot, if you would.” Dottore said calmly.

Before his mind could catch up, Niwa had already lifted his leg. His back pressed into the rail, and his hands gripped the metal to keep steady. “W-wha?”

One of Dottore’s hands grabbed the back of Niwa’s ankle, his gloved fingers sliding along the bare skin. His other hand reached into a pocket on his tunic, and the man pulled out a thin chain made of a red metal that matched the streak in Niwa’s hair. “I took the time in that lab, to make you this.”

“You…made me an anklet?” Niwa whispered.

A slow smile crossed Dottore’s lips, but it was tinged with a sardonic edge. “Didn’t I say I would?”

Niwa shrunk into himself, unease twisting inside of him. “I just – you –” He stilled again, when Dottore lifted Niwa’s foot higher, and the man leaned down. Dottore bent Niwa’s foot so the tip of his mask slid along the curve, before his lips pressed firmly into the smooth skin atop of Niwa’s foot.

Niwa could only stare, his gaze incredulous. He blinked hard, but it wasn’t his imagination. “D-did another segment sneak on board?”

Dottore clicked his tongue, before he brought the red chain around Niwa’s ankle, clicking it in place to fit snugly against his skin. “And give credit to one of them for this?” He scoffed, before smirking up at him. “Do I have your word – you won’t ever take this off?”

Niwa sagged against the rail, his shoulders dropping. “You know I won’t.”

Dottore chuckled. “Yes, I suppose that’s a given, though is it not still formal to ask?”

In not so many words, Niwa thought, but he still didn’t know what this was. There was the obvious, but Niwa did not want to voice it. Not for real. “Aren’t you afraid of being seen like this?”

“Do you really think, that if any word of me kneeling at your feet gets around – I will not find out?” Dottore asked. The threat was there, for anyone foolish enough to overhear.

“Point taken.” Niwa muttered. His foot was released, and the chain felt heavy around his ankle as his foot landed on the floor. “So are we to consummate this union now then?”

Another smirk pulled at Dottore’s mouth as he straightened back up. “That can come later.” Niwa grunted as he was spun around, and found himself staring back out at the horizon. Dottore’s arms wrapped around Niwa’s waist. “Though since we should be arriving in Fontaine within the next few days, I’ll alleviate one of your questions.”

Niwa didn’t need to think twice. “What are we going there for?”

Dottore was silent for a moment, before he said, “I’m going to meet with one of my fellow Harbingers. She has a new batch of specimens she’s donating for my research.”

Niwa let out a disgusted noise. “I don’t know why I thought you’d say anything different.”

“Yes,” Dottore’s lips pressed against Niwa’s throat, mouth pulled into an unpleasant smile, “such a waste. Not quite as clever as you thought you were being, hmm?”

“And you aren’t going to tell me anything else?” Niwa muttered. Dottore didn’t reply, and Niwa wasn’t surprised. He closed his eyes as the man’s teeth grazed along Niwa’s throat, but he didn’t bite down. That itself was odd, but it went to the back of Niwa’s mind when the man licked along the curve of his neck. Niwa groaned, his eyes fluttering shut as pleasure started to pool inside of him. “Did you inject me with an aphrodisiac when I wasn’t looking?”

“Oh? Is that now going to be your excuse when finding yourself aroused by my attention?” Dottore was smirking, Niwa knew it without even looking.

“It’s amazing how loose you are when your cronies are frightened into silence by the threat of death.” Niwa snapped.

“And it’s a good thing you aren’t.”

Niwa’s cheeks burned red, the flush going all the way down to his neck. I walked right into that one, he thought. “I’m reconsidering on throwing myself overboard.”

“Yes, it certainly would end it all, wouldn’t it?” Dottore seemed entirely unbothered by this, and Niwa knew it was because the man was equally secure in the knowledge this contemplation was merely a thought which flitted just as quickly from Niwa’s mind as it had come.

Niwa sighed deeply, and leaned back against the man’s chest. Dottore’s arms tightened around him. There wasn’t much else to do, and Niwa didn’t want to head back to the man’s cabin yet. And while it wasn’t a pleasant silence, Niwa would rather stay in this disquiet than break it, and remind the man he needed to spoil the mood. Dottore could do that later.

Niwa rested his head against Dottore’s shoulder. The man paused, before his arms tightened once more. It was unnecessary – it wasn’t like Niwa would be going anywhere.

Notes:

Yes, it's just a power move to make Niwa uncomfortable, but the image of Dottore kneeling and kissing Niwa's foot without any context is a trip.

Chapter 5

Niwa’s first real sight of Fontaine, were the remains of a ruin against a mountain. A broken stone archway, weathered by age and still crumpling. And beyond it, were green hills and the water separating the land masses. Maybe it was his own perception that Fontaine be different, but did the water seem clearer? Niwa’s gaze drifted from the water, and the ruins, to a tall tower the ship past by. Behind him, the crew members started rushing around, and Niwa knew he’d just be in the way, so he stayed put at his spot against the rail.

Is that the city? Niwa strained his eyes to try and see further, but all he could make out was the giant wall raised up from the ground, and the tip of what was likely a building peeking over the top. I can’t even see it, he thought, and there was some disappoint in that. Yet he was also confused, because there was undeniably another impressive building that was sitting atop a hill. Or is that where the city is?

“You look troubled,” Niwa twitched as Dottore came to stand next to him, the man’s arm sliding around his waist, “and confused – what’s brought this on?”

“You must be bored of this boat ride too if you’re asking me that.” Niwa drawled. Dottore only shot him a look, and Niwa glanced away. “I…I don’t know which one’s the city.” And his cheeks flushed as the man chuckled with amusement and derision.

“Oh, I see now.” Dottore drawled. “You see that giant eyesore by the water?” Niwa nodded, and Dottore clicked his tongue. “That would be the Opera Epiclise, what this nation dares to call a court house.”

“So the city would be the walled-up area?” Niwa asked. “I guess that makes sense.”

“Yes, but my business does not take us there today.” Dottore replied, and Niwa started. “Disappointed? You’ll have to content yourself with the sights during the ride.” His arm tightened around Niwa’s waist, and tugged him away from the rail. “We’ll be reaching land shortly, you need to change.”

Niwa grimaced. “Joy.”

“No need to be so sour – I’ll be back to dressing you next time.”

Niwa faltered, his eyes widening. Next time? “You’re letting someone else dress me up?” he asked incredulously.

Dottore’s mouth tightened into a thin line. “No. Do you believe I’d let anyone else see you naked?”

“You let Scaramouche do it.” Niwa muttered.

“Ah, but that was only to look at upon my exquisite craftsmanship.” Dottore replied. “After all this time, I’d think you’d still be capable of dressing yourself, would you not?”

Niwa huffed. “Of course I can.” Yet this minor freedom was tempered by the understanding he’d still be dressing for Dottore, not himself. Niwa’s shoulders dropped. “Are you going to watch?”

The man’s lips pulled into a smirk. “Why ask something you already know?”

Niwa didn’t know why he did either. The two of them went back down into the lower deck, and by passed the other rooms in the cramped hallway. Niwa’s skin prickled in unease. He was starting to hate how dark and enclosed these spaces were. The journey ended at the end of the hall, and Dottore opened the door for them. The room was likely the nicest one on the ship, just like with every other place they stopped at, despite having the same interior as the rest of the cabins.

“You’ll find a selection to choose from in the dresser. Be quick about it. Although,” Niwa stilled when Dottore grabbed his chin, and the man leaned in, “be sure to make yourself pretty for me, will you?”

Niwa breathed in slowly. “I’ve never had an eye for fashion, and more for practicality. I think you’ll find my choices to be gaudy, rather than pretty.”

“No matter; you fail to be presentable, I’ll still have my fun stripping you to try again.”

Niwa grimaced. He doubted if he failed to be presentable, he’d ever be allowed to dress himself again. Dottore still claims I’m not his captive, but he certainly doesn’t mind taking away any freedom I have, miniscule and important as it is.

“Clearly, if you can’t even do something so simple, you don’t deserve to have it.” Dottore said.

Niwa stiffened, and silently cursed. Did he need to press his lips tight before even he could think now? Niwa pulled away. “I’ll get dressed.”

Walking up to the dresser, Niwa ignored looking at the make-up case or the mirror for it. The first drawer Niwa opened, showed him a row of fabrics, each one in colorful and brilliant shades. It was impossible to tell what each individual garment was, but at the most he understood these would be the main item covering him.

From color alone, Niwa chose the combination he liked best. Black fabric, printed with white leaves and pink blossoms clumped together. Unfolding it, Niwa finds it’s another garment of Liyue design, but this one lacked any sleeves and the lower half held two slits running up the sides. Likely, the under garment would provide sleeves and cover his legs.

And the second drawer held just that. Practical, white linen under garments and cotton shirts and trousers. Niwa picked the trousers, and a tighter white under shirt to fit the sleeves through the robe. Shucking off his current garments, Niwa slid the trousers on first, and caught sight of the anklet. Niwa’s lips tightened, and pulled the shirt overhead next, the sleeves ending just before his wrists. Finally, the Liyue tunic; the material was silk, shiny and smooth under his fingers as he slipped the fabric on.

Niwa smoothed down the lines and wrinkles in the tunic, and grimaced as he opened the make up case. His uncertain, sour expression was mirrored back at him in the small compact. Sure, getting dressed up was something Niwa hadn’t done often, usually only for festivals or special occasions, but make-up? He knew even less about that than fashion. He did not have a fine touch to make the application seem effortless. This was going to be the thing which did him in.

Unless…Niwa closed his eyes. He tried to remember his wife, watching her apply her make-up in their bedroom mirror – yet the only thing which he could recall was every time Dottore stood before him, applying that blush and eye shadow on to him.

Niwa’s eyes snapped open, his uneasy, panicked expression filling the mirror’s reflection. “I don’t know how to do it.” He hated how weak his voice was.

“No?” Dottore called, his tone low and rough. “Have you not been paying attention, or have you only seen it as something to be endured?”

Niwa grimaced. That did not have a safe answer. “I’m not good at it.” He said instead. “I can’t blend colors, and I ended up looking awful the one time I did try.”

“Is that so?” Dottore’s voice drifted closer, and Niwa was unsurprised to feel the man’s hands rest on his waist.

Niwa gritted his teeth, and squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. “If I must wear it, can…can you do it instead?” It came out strained, and he forced out the rest, “Please?”

Dottore didn’t answer, perhaps basking in Niwa’s humiliation of being asked to do it for him. Finally, the man said, “Certainly…so long as you understand this means I can’t simply trust you to continue dressing yourself at all, hmm?”

Niwa shrank into himself, shoulders tensing. “I – I know.” He whispered.

Dottore’s hands slid down the tunic, brushing over the fabric for perhaps any wrinkles or creases Niwa missed, but he wouldn’t put it past the man to just take the opportunity to feel him up. “Turn around.”

Niwa did so, his sandals clicking against the wooden floor. Dottore grabbed the compact and make-up case from him, and Niwa closed his eyes as the man got to work. The brush grazing over his cheeks, a smaller one stroking over his eyelids, and the paint applied to his lips.

Dottore rubbed his thumb into Niwa’s bottom lip. “Done.” His hand pulled away, only for Niwa to feel the gloved hand stroke over his brown locks, tugging a strand between his fingers. “Your hair is serviceable as is.”

There was a knock from the outside, and Niwa twitched as a voice called through the door, “Master Dottore? Your carriage has arrived.”

“And on time. The Knave certainly always did run a tight ship.” Dottore mused.

Niwa’s eyes widened. The times this man surprised him with a rarely seen emotion were sparse, but he couldn’t recall ever hearing this…admiration? No, not admiration. If this ‘Knave’ was the Harbinger he came to see, it stood to reason that this was an expression of approval for a co-worker. Though if it’s someone Dottore approves of, just how messed up is The Knave then?

Dottore’s lips pulled into a smirk. “Oh, is that jealousy I hear?”

Niwa tensed. Jealousy? His lips pursed for a moment. “Of course not. And if I just said that aloud, you know very well why I’m surprised. Given you never talk about the other Harbingers, I assumed you didn’t care for them.”

Dottore clicked his tongue. “We are colleagues, what reason is there to care for them? We might all work under the Tsaritsa, but I assure you, we’d all backstab each other in a heartbeat, if it meant getting ahead in our own goals.”

“Not everyone is like you.” Niwa said.

Dottore waved his hand dismissively. “How woefully naïve you remain. I may be your main frame of reference to a Harbinger, but I think you’re very aware I’m not the only one.”

Niwa flinched. Scaramouche’s angry glare and disdainful sneer flashed in his mind. “That’s only because of what you did.”

Dottore’s mouth thinned for a moment. “We’re wasting time, let’s be off.”

Niwa glared at the floor, and followed Dottore out of the room. When they came to the deck, Niwa took stock of the fact the ship was anchored to a dock but the Fatui on board weren’t wearing their uniforms anymore. Masks were gone, and they all dressed in clothes that Niwa assumed Fontaine sailors wore. Does this mean Dottore isn’t supposed to be here?

“Nothing so dramatic.” Dottore replied. “I just find it’s easier to travel back and forth when business calls in Fontaine, to not draw such attention that this ship belongs to a Harbinger.”

“No wonder it looks so nondescript.” Niwa muttered.

Dottore didn’t reply, as he glanced to an operative standing by the plank that led off the ship. “Have the cargo prepared for my specimens to be transferred back to Snezhnaya. Be sure it’s warm, you wouldn’t want to make up for any research that could be lost due to your incompetence.”

“Yes, it will be done, my lord.” Yet when Dottore continued on, Niwa noticed the operative grimaced.

Though Niwa would not put it behind anything more than simple fear. Dottore had no regard for the sanctity of life, that much was apparent in spending even the shortest amount of time with him, and Niwa knew there must have been stories about what Harbingers were nightmares to work under.

Walking over the ledge of the ship, and down the wooden plank, Niwa took in the carriage which would be carting them off. It really wasn’t anything impressive, at least compared to the carriages used in Snezhnaya. Though it wasn’t like Fontaine had an ever-present winter ready to freeze them to death for their transportation to be innovative.

A plain-dressed man was opening the door to the cabin. “Lord Dottore, my master sends her regards, and regrets she couldn't come and greet you herself.”

“Yes, yes, I’m sure she’s very busy having to handle those brats day in and out.”

Niwa started. Brats? “I didn’t know Harbingers had the time for families.” Yet while Dottore let out a derisive scoff, the operative smiled.

“Yes, Lord Crucabena runs the House of the Hearth. The orphans taken in are all her children.”

Niwa blinked slowly. “I didn’t know the Fatui cared about charity.” He noticed the sneer curling at the corner of Dottore’s mouth, but Niwa’s attention once more drew back to the operative as he spoke.

“Yes, The Knave is very generous to look after these dispossessed, downtrodden orphans.” The operative’s smile widened, and he held out a hand to him. It was clear he was offering to help him into the carriage.

Niwa was about to take the hand out of politeness, but Dottore’s voice cut in sharply, “That won’t be necessary.” The man held out his own hand to him. “We’re falling behind as is.”

Niwa’s shoulders dropped. “I suppose we are.” When he grabbed Dottore’s hand, Niwa grunted as the man yanked him forward. It took everything Niwa had not to fall over his own two feet, and found purchase to climb into the cabin. Dottore pushed him into the opposite seat, and Niwa winced as he rubbed his shoulder while the door closed after him. “I was only trying to be nice.”

“And that’s always been your problem – being nice.” Dottore sneered. “Or have you forgotten what caused you to be in this situation?”

No matter what happened, that first night was always going to be seared into his memories. “I trusted you.” Niwa whispered. “We all did.”

Dottore’s voice lowered, “And yet you still insist on making the same mistake, despite everything you’ve experienced.”

Kabu – Scaramouche flashed in Niwa’s mind again. The confusion, the anger, the hatred in those indigo eyes. Niwa didn’t understand what Scaramouche had gone through to cause such pain to replace all the kindness that used to shine there, but he knew where it started. Niwa glared at Dottore. “It’s not the act of trusting that was my mistake; it wasn’t seeing that you were rotten through and through until it was too late.”

“For such a lovely mouth, it spews much venom.” Dottore replied. He gazed at Niwa, who tensed as he stared back. “And yet for all your self-righteousness, you still let me slide inside of you each and every time.” Dottore smiled, a cold, cruel turn of the mouth. “Even as you understood what I monster I was, you still stayed with me. Even as you plotted your pitiful attempt at subterfuge, you still –” He stopped, and the silence which stretched on, lasted just a moment to long. “You’ve always had a choice, and you’ve always chosen me.”

“That…” Niwa sank into himself, his eyes closing shut by the weight pressing down on him. It had been so long, that some things were just lost to him. Things before Mikage Furnace were growing fuzzy. There were things that he knew – a wife, children, a family – but to actively recall anything beyond it had become difficult.

At times, Niwa stared at the ceiling, and forgot he even had a name.

And yet the one thing, beyond anything else, that Niwa remembered with such clarity because it would forever be imprinted in his mind – was that this had never been a choice.

Niwa was tired of repeating himself though, and knew to say anything more of it would just be a waste of breath he didn’t need. “I’m not leaving you,” he said listlessly, “you’ve made sure of that.”

---

It hadn’t taken long to reach their destination, but Niwa’s mood hadn’t improved even as he looked out the window. The roving, verdant hills went as far as he could see, mountains off in the background. A clear sky, with not a cloud in sight. It was beautiful, but Niwa found his conversation with Dottore left him too much sourness to appreciate it.

The carriage went up a well travelled path, and there was a walled area, surrounding an ornate building structured in what could only be Fontaine’s style. Lavish seemed to be the style of this nation. The carriage pulled up to the large, wooden doors of the front entrance. As Niwa climbed out of the cabin after Dottore, he heard the creak of the large door opening.

“Dottore! It’s so good to see you again.”

Niwa’s head snapped up, his eyes widening in shock. Someone was happy to see him? His lips pressed into a thin line. She was beautiful, he’d say that much. Red hair tied into a braid that hung loosely over her shoulder, and her expression was gentle, with a warm smile on her lips.

And Dottore chuckled. “Yes, Crucabena, it’s been quite a while. Though perhaps this time you’ll have some satisfactory samples. Your last batch…ran out quite quickly.”

The other Harbinger’s smile never faded. “My apologies.” Her soft eyes travelled to Niwa, and she inclined her head. “And who might you be?”

“Niwa Hisahide.” Niwa said, and a wave of uncertainty crashed over him. This woman did not seem to be someone who could have a cordial relationship with Dottore. She ran an orphanage, took in children, and seemed friendly. Niwa’s lips pursed. So what’s wrong here? Or maybe there wasn’t, and it was just the creeping paranoia Niwa was starting to feel regularly now.

“Won’t you both come inside?” Crucabena stepped back, raising her hand to gesture to the interior. “I know you don’t require sustenance, Dottore, but does your companion?”

Companion? Niwa bit back the scowl.

Dottore waved his hand. “He doesn’t.” Was all he said, and the woman nodded. “Now, where have you gathered all those children?”

Crucabena’s brow furrowed slightly, and confusion glinted in her eyes. “I thought we already discussed in the letter –”

“Not those ones.” Dottore cut in swiftly. “You’ll have to forgive me; it was such short notice I didn’t have the time to send you another correspondence. As usual, my segments were absolutely insistent on this matter. I came not to just do my inspection, but also to let my companion adopt one of his choosing.”

Niwa flinched, his eyes widening. “W-what?” he whispered. Had he heard that right? No, no, he couldn’t have.

Yet Dottore only smiled at him. “You told that segment you were lonely, did you not? And the others agreed.” He reached out, and his fingers traced over Niwa’s numb cheek as he stared in horrified silence at the man. “So they’re making me fix it. Don’t you like your surprise?”

Notes:

I’ve always kept this series in Niwa’s perspective (with that one exception), because I found it to be more unsettling to try and discern just what Dottore wants from Niwa, and leaving it to be implied.

Just for context: I took Nahida’s fairytale at face value. That Dottore viewed himself as a monster that would never be accepted as he was, and got jealous of the fact Scaramouche was accepted despite being a puppet.

And I’ll be so real, the first time I played through Scaramouche’s interlude quest, I actually misunderstood what Dottore would be jealous of Scaramouche for having. I’d thought that rather than general acceptance, Dottore was envious of the fact Scaramouche had Niwa’s attention specifically, and killed him not only to stop him from interfering, but to also take away that love away in a twisted kind of “If I can’t have you” kind of deal.

Needless to say, I’d already started the process of writing this series by the time it finally sunk in I’d completely botched the reading of it. Welp, good thing that’s what headcannons are for then.

Chapter 6

Surprise? Surprise? Niwa wasn’t sure what was stronger; so many emotions jumbled up inside of him. Incredulity, anger, fear – if he were capable, Niwa was certain he’d be hyperventilating. These were children, yet Dottore spoke with the air of someone who thought this monumental decision was equivalent to getting a pet.

“I’m adopting one?” Niwa whispered, finding that strange phrasing to latch onto and give him focus. “Not us?”

“What use is there for me in raising a child?” Dottore waved his hand dismissively. “You though? This is something you can put all your effort into.” His lips pulled into a cold smile. “It’s not like you got to finish being a father the last time.”

Niwa flinched, but he threw a glance at the other Harbinger watching them silently. His lips pursed, and he clenched his fists. Niwa wasn’t going to make a scene, not in front of someone else. It wasn’t polite. This is just another thing to hold over me, Niwa thought. If there was any way for Dottore to restrict him or manipulate him, the man would take it. A child? That was both someone for Niwa to care for, and Dottore to use as leverage.

It made Niwa sick. I can’t bring a child into this, he thought, but Dottore had taken that choice away, like everything else. And like always, I have to deal with it. Niwa breathed out slowly, and hoped the smile that crossed his lips did not look as fake as it felt. “Thank you. I know this must have been a difficult decision, as there will need to be preparations to make to accommodate the child at home.”

Dottore stared at him. He didn’t say anything for a moment, perhaps trying to detect any sarcasm or bitterness in Niwa’s tone. “Yes, is it quite bothersome.” The man’s smile widened, and Niwa grunted as he reached out to grab his waist, pulling him close. “I will expect you to show me the proper amount of gratitude later, understood?”

Niwa nodded, and stifled his shudder. “Yes.” He pried himself free of the grip, and glanced at Crucabena. “I’d like to meet the children now.”

The Harbinger nodded. “Please, follow me.”

As she led them through a hallway, Niwa found it strange there weren’t any signs that children lived here. He vaguely remembered his children made a mess, right? Niwa frowned, but he couldn’t recall anything specific.

“Children.” Crucabena cooed, pushing open a door that led to a wide-open space. Finally, Niwa noticed the children. A dozen or so, most gathered around a table and reading, and another playing in a dollhouse. There was one lone child in the back of the room, sitting quietly by herself.

When Crucabena spoke, all the children looked at her. It was hard to look at them, seeing the love and adoration on their small faces as they gazed at her. “Mother.” They all chimed.

Crucabena gestured to Niwa. “This is Mister Niwa. He’ll be adopting one of you.”

“Adopting?” The word was whispered amongst the children, but Niwa noticed something odd. None of them seemed excited – they looked confused. Why was the concept of adoption strange for those in an orphanage?

“That’s right.” Crucabena confirmed, her smile ever present. She glanced at Niwa. “We’ll leave you to speak to the children.”

“Our talk shouldn’t take long; you get twenty minutes to make your choice.” Dottore said. He leaned in towards Niwa’s ear, and hissed in a low tone, “No toddlers or infants. Children that young are even more bothersome.”

Niwa bit the inside of his cheek. He’d rather not take any of these poor children, let alone a baby. “Understood.” He said quietly. When Dottore and Crucabena departed, Niwa’s shoulders sagged. He looked at the children, who gazed at him with the same uncertainty and curiosity he probably had on his own face. “You don’t need to be nervous,” he said, and tried to smile, “just go back to what you’re doing, okay? I’ll ask questions, but none of you should feel pressured to answer.”

“Can we ask you questions too?” A little boy asked.

Niwa blinked, before he nodded. “Yes, of course.”

“Why do you want us?” A little blonde girl asked abruptly. Niwa must have looked shocked, because she continued, “Mother said that we wouldn’t ever be adopted.”

Niwa blinked rapidly. “This…is an orphanage.” He said slowly. “You’re here to be adopted, aren’t you?”

“No.” Another child replied. “Mother said that we were unadoptable. That it took too much work and no one would ever want us.”

Stunned, Niwa could only stare. Who told children that? Especially children who needed to hear it the most. “Maybe you misunderstood.” He smiled, shaky as it was. “I’m here, aren’t I?”

“You came with The Doctor though.” A red-haired child said. She had several bandages wrapped around her wrists and leg, with a lumidouce bell shaped necklace. “He never brings anyone with him, so you’re different.”

Niwa didn’t know if that was true, but he hated that it probably was. He still had a use for Dottore, even if he still didn’t know what it could be. “You can all go back to your activities.” He mumbled, and went to stand in the back of the room. Niwa was out of his depth here; children had become such a foreign concept now. It’d been a long time since he talked to one. That child segment had thrown him, and he stilled reeled even now.

Niwa sighed deeply, but noticed something else unusual. Was this really all the children here? Sixteen seemed too low a number for an orphanage. I’m surprised there aren’t more children here. Are the older ones somewhere else?

“The older ones are gone.”

Niwa started. His gaze snapped down to the floor, where that lonely child was still sitting. A young girl, with short two-toned hair of black and white, and eyes that were black with striking red ‘x’ markings in them for pupils. “W-what?”

The child’s gaze was too old for a face so young. Her tone was calm, almost listless, as she continued, “There aren’t any older children here. The ones still alive are taken to the Fatui. And Mother deemed the other children our age to be of no use.”

“What?” Niwa repeated. “How can children be of ‘no use’? You’re children.”

The girl’s gaze was steady. “We’re being trained to be of use to the Tsaritsa and be the king of this house. Those who have no value to her, Mother says can find it with The Doctor.”

Niwa stared at her, and the horror crept over him slowly. The specimens which Dottore talked about, the reason they were here, and the ‘samples’ he came to get – were children? Was there no line that bastard wouldn’t cross? The fact Dottore made a child segment of himself should have been a clue, but Niwa was clearly too stupid to see it.

The world tilted, and Niwa found himself at eye level with the girl. It took a moment to comprehend that his legs gave out, and he was on his knees.

“You didn’t know?” The girl asked. “Why not?”

Niwa took in a shaky breath. “Dottore doesn’t tell me anything. I – I couldn’t have guessed. I thought even he had a limit.”

There was a downturn tilt to the girl’s mouth, all that was shown of her disbelief in that blank expression. “How could someone weak like you, survive so long with him then?”

Niwa tensed. Blunt and to the point, that was so far the most child-like this girl had been. Children had little in the way of a filter, and said what they observed no matter a scolding they’d get. And this girl had nothing else to draw on, than what she saw. “I must present quite a pathetic sight, huh?” His smile was full of self-loathing. “To be frank, my survival is entirely dependent on Dottore’s mood.”

“He’s giving you a child. That will probably take time to raise.” The girl said.

Probably. Niwa grimaced. How much did this girl know of her situation, that she couldn’t comprehend a life afterwards? Child soldiers, child experimentation, what else? No, Niwa didn’t want to dwell on it. It could be so much worse, and this was a disgusting enough revelation for now.

“I don’t want to do this.” And it was wrong to unload on this girl, but the words slipped out before he could stop himself. “I don’t want to have a child living in fear of making Dottore angry.”

“But they’ll live.” That this girl could say it with more confidence than Niwa felt, he didn’t know how it was possible. Her dark, x marked eyes narrowed. “I want you to adopt someone.”

Niwa blinked slowly. “Someone?” he asked. “Not yourself?”

The girl shook her head. “I can survive, she cannot.” She raised her hand, and pointed to the red-haired girl with the bandages. “Though Clervie understands what this place is for too, I know she won’t be able to withstand the weight of it. I –” Finally, the girl’s voice softened, “don’t want her to die.”

Niwa closed his eyes. “I understand, wanting to protect someone you care about.” He whispered. Slowly, he breathed out. “I’ll do it.” His eyes opened, and his gaze hardened. “First, tell me what exactly happens when Dottore comes here.”

The white-haired girl nodded. “Mother has us fight each other, to weed out those who are useless. If you don’t die, The Doctor performs medical inspections for Mother, to determine the stare of those who are left. The ones deemed undesirable are rounded up to be carted off to one of his laboratories…”

---

Niwa waited by the door to the children’s reading room. They’d stopped shooting him looks, and he hoped it was because they were more at ease with his presence than learned to ignore him. The latter implied they had to ignore a lot more. He glanced up from under his eyelashes when the door opened. Niwa kept his expression neutral as Crucabena walked in, her smile still in place as if it never left.

Dottore wasn’t far behind. “Well? Which one did you pick?”

Niwa’s lips pursed. It’s a child, not a dog, he thought. “Her.” He gestured to the redheaded girl. “I choose her.”

For a brief moment, Crucabena seemed surprised, before her features eased back into a warm smile. “Is that so?” she asked. Niwa nodded. The woman hummed, and called out, “Clervie, come here.”

The redheaded girl got up from her seat and walked upt to them. Her large eyes drifted between Crucabena and Niwa, before settling on the former. She rubbed her bandaged wrist. “Yes, Mother?”

“Mister Niwa has decided you are to be his new daughter.” Crucabena said sweetly. “You will go pack what you intend to take with you.”

Clervie bit her lip. Her eyes darted to that white-haired girl, before she timidly asked, “Can I say goodbye first?”

Niwa cut in before Crucabena looked ready to retort, “I don’t see why not.” He smiled gently at her. “I know how scary it can be, leaving the only place you’ve ever known, and everyone you care about.”

Clervie stared at him, before she shyly smiled. “T-thank you, sir!”

Niwa restrained a wince as the girl turned to the first child she could reach, and hugged them. She went about doing to the same to the others, amidst teary eyes and sad smiles. Niwa’s heart would have sunk if he still had one. Finally, Clervie reached the white-haired girl and held her more tightly than the others.

“I – I’m being adopted, Perrie.” Clervie whispered, fear and wonder mixed in her watery voice.

The white-haired girl’s expression softened so minutely it would be easy to miss. Slowly, she returned the redhead’s embrace. “I know.”

“I – I’ll write to you, to all of you when I can. I promise.” Clervie said.

“You’d better!” Another little girl cried, and wiped her eyes.

Clervie hiccupped, and let out a teary laugh. “Y-yeah, I will!” She sniffled, before giving ‘Perrie’ another tight hug, and coming back to stand before Niwa. “I…I’d like to go pack.”

Niwa nodded. “Okay. Take all the time you need, I’ll be waiting for you by the front entrance.” When the girl nodded, he departed from the room, both Crucabena and Dottore following. Niwa glanced back as the redheaded girl scampered off down the hallway, and noticed the white-haired girl staring at him from the doorway, before she turned and went back inside the room.

“Mister Niwa,” Crucabena started, “I’m curious as to what made you decide to choose Clervie. There were undoubtedly better options.”

Better options? Niwa frowned slowly. He doubted the truth would be beneficial in this case. “I’ve never had a daughter. And…she reminds me of myself at that age.”

“Really now?” Dottore drawled. “I’m to take it you were spoiled as a child and so you’ll be doing the same for this one?”

Niwa grimaced. “I wasn’t spoiled. And is it really so wrong to let her say goodbye, than to just tear her away from everyone she cares about?” His eyes narrowed. “Though I know you can’t understand that.”

Crucabena’s brows rose slightly, while Dottore’s mouth thinned. “Careful. Or I’ll think you take my generosity for granted.” He said coolly.

Niwa clenched his fist. “No, I’d never think that.” Now, he thought worse.

It didn’t take long to reach the front door, and even less time for the quiet patter of shoes against the tiled floor to resound in the hall. Niwa glanced towards the sound, and found Clervie on her way over. She had a backpack over her shoulders, and clutched in her arms was a plush toy. It seemed to be a kind of rabbit, with its long ears, but styled more like a person. It was white mixed with black accents, and upon inspection, had black eyes with red ‘x’s in them and a frown for a mouth. How a plush managed to match ‘Perrie’s’ disinterested expression, Niwa would never know.

Still, he smiled at the girl. “That’s a nice doll.”

Clervie clutched it tighter, and she shyly returned it. “Thank you. There’s actually another one, but Perrie promised to look after it.”

Niwa nodded. “Well, just let me know if your own little Perrie ever gets damaged. I’ll be sure to get it fixed right up, okay?”

Clervie’s eyes widened, before she beamed at him. “Okay, Mister Niwa!” Then she paused, her expression growing stricken as if unsure she should call him that now. “I – I mean Fath-”

Niwa held up a hand to stop her. “It’s alright,” he said softly, “I won’t make you call me ‘Father’ if you’re not comfortable with it. You can call me whatever you like.”

Clervie nodded slowly. “Okay.” Her eyes darted to Dottore, who crossed his arms.

“You will continue to refer to me as The Doctor, am I clear?”

“Yes, sir.” Clervie said quietly.

Niwa rolled his eyes. Seriously? “She’s a child, not one of your lackeys.” He said, before smiling at the girl. “We should be going then.” The girl nodded, and scampered after him.

“It was wonderful to meet you, Mister Niwa!” Crucabena called. Though Niwa did not miss how her voice lowered as she continued, “And Dottore? I shall see about getting you better specimens next time. There are so many dangerous missions that can leave behind valuable material, after all.”

Niwa gritted his teeth, but focused on helping Clervie into the carriage once the driver opened the door. It was only when they were seated beside each other, that he asked, “What happened to cause you get bandaged like that?”

Clervie stilled. She looked down at her shoes. “It’s nothing. I – I fell.”

On her arms? The knee he could buy as a scrape, but with what he knew now, Niwa started seething. “Does it bother you?”

“Oh, n-no.” Clervie replied. She smiled shakily. “Perrie helped patch it up, so it doesn’t hurt.”

That alarmed Niwa greatly. Just what kind of orphanage was this? Well, he knew it was a Fatui front now, but what was Crucabena’s goal in running it? Where children were told they were unwanted and had no hope for adoption, and learned how to take care of injuries themselves instead of being taken care of by a loving caregiver. 

“I’m sure she did a good job,” Niwa said softly, “but it’s still better to get it checked to make sure it doesn’t get infected, alright? We’ll get the ship’s doctor to look at it later.”

“You doubt my capabilities?”

Niwa stilled, and the girl tensed fearfully. Calmly, Niwa met Dottore’s hidden gaze. “I’m sure you’re capable,” he said calmly, “but I can’t come running to you for every little thing. You’re far too busy.”

“True.” The man conceded.

Niwa glanced at the girl’s bandaged wrist, and though he did not want to believe it – there was a suspicion as to who caused it. “Did Crucabena do this to you?”

Clervie seized up, before she smiled too quickly. “N-no! Mother just has disagreements, that's all!”

Niwa supposed this evasion was answer enough. “I don’t know how much you’ll believe me, but I will never lay a hand on you.”

The girl didn’t reply. She only clutched the doll tighter, and looked at the floor.

That was okay though, Niwa wouldn’t have trusted it either.

Chapter 7

“This will be your room until we reach Snezhnaya.”

Dottore opened a door, leading to a cabin with the most threadbare of things. A bed, a dresser, and a corner with a bathroom that only had a paltry divider. The room was no bigger than a closet, and that was being generous. Niwa grimaced. Clearly, there was going to be no warmth from this man for breath of this situation.

“Snezhnaya.” Clervie repeated. She bit her lip. “Are the lights in the sky as beautiful as it looks in the books?”

“Better.” Niwa said. Clervie looked up at him, and he smiled at her. “I remember seeing the borealis for the first time – it was the most breathing taking sight I’ve ever seen, with all the colors weaving together in the sky. Maybe that can be the first thing you write to your siblings about.”

“Okay.” Clervie’s smile seemed less nervous, if just a little.

“Siblings.” Dottore repeated, his tone growing cold. “What nonsense. Girl, you’d be better off with forgetting them. You’ve been given a chance to start your life anew – why cling to the past so uselessly? Do you have any idea what someone would do for this opportunity?”

Niwa frowned. Oh, he was not going to let Dottore poison this child’s mind with his bullshit. “Being given a new life, doesn’t mean you forget the old one.”

“Maybe it should.” Dottore retorted.

And maybe it should be a choice. Niwa breathed out slowly, and his gaze went back to the redheaded girl. He wasn't going to argue in front of her. “You must be tired. We’ll leave you be to settle in.”

Clervie nodded. “Okay, Niwa.” She walked further into the room, and looked around.

Niwa grabbed Dottore’s hand, and pulled him out back into the hall. It took a moment to realize what he’d done, and let go of the man’s hand as if shocked. Yet Dottore grabbed his wrist tightly, and pulled Niwa in turn down the hall to their room.

Only in the privacy of their cabin, did Niwa finally let the anger simmering under his skin flow free. “You’re awful.”

“Yes, yes, I know.” Dottore said facetiously.

Niwa wrenched his wrist free, and ran a hand through his hair. “Not just you. Actually, you being awful is the only thing I can understand.” He shook his head, a disgusted scowl crossing his lips. “What I don’t get is how Crucabena could do this; how can she take these children in, then make them fight to the death, and send them to you for experimentation if they survive even that. They all love her; how can she use that love to torment them? How can she betray them like this?”

“I’m certain Scaramouche wondered the same about you.”

Niwa shot Dottore a vicious glare. It wasn’t the same, but that would be wasting his breath at this point. “And you, did you seek her out to get test subjects, or did she send them to you first?"

“She offered an abundance of specimens, why would I turn that down?”

“You really have no shame, do you?” Niwa spat. “And if I were to go down to the cargo hold, would I find your specimens there?”

“Yes, you would.” Dottore replied.

Not even denying it, Niwa thought bitterly. “And if I were to ask you to send them back, would you do it?”

Dottore stared at him, before he shook his head. “What a stupid thing to say. You’d ask me to give up valuable research material?”

Worth a shot, Niwa thought. He hadn’t really expected Dottore to cave so easily, so he’d have to try something else. “You can get material anywhere. Why does it have to be children?”

“Variety.” Dottore said bluntly. Niwa started, and the man continued, “An experiment can be influenced by a multitude of things; sex, biology, age. These are but a few examples. To restrict my material would cause my research to stagnate.”

“And what about when you’ve exhausted all there is to study?”

Dottore scoffed. “There will always be some avenue to explore; restricting myself to one area is counterproductive and an example of a narrow mind. Knowledge has no boundaries.”

“But not all knowledge is good.” Niwa said quietly.

“Knowledge is endless, with no good or bad. To assign morality for an abstract concept is outlandish, but what should I expect from someone who’s shown to have such disappointingly conventional principles.” Dottore replied.

“And I guess I should have realized how pointless this was, due to how warped your morals are.” Niwa muttered.

Dottore crossed his arms. “If this is your argument, you’re doing a poor job of convincing me to give up my test subjects.”

Children, Niwa thought, gritting his teeth. Time to try something different. The thought though of what he needed to do made him shudder. “I suppose trying to reason with you isn’t going to work.” He took in a deep breath, and walked up to the man. Niwa leaned in, his hands curling into the fabric of the Dottore’s tunic, and his lips pressed a kiss onto the man’s jaw.

“Sex?” Dottore scoffed derisively. “I can have you whenever I want - you think this will convince me? Or is this what gets you to finally drop to your knees?”

Yet despite the scorn, Niwa wasn’t being pushed away. For as much as Dottore enjoyed having a pliant, quiet doll to play with, he never complained when Niwa was more active. He trailed one hand down the front of the man’s tunic, and slid to grab him between the legs. The cock twitched with interest, and Niwa rubbed it coyly through the fabric. His eyes drooped to be half-lidded, and he was mindful of the man’s collar as he kissed along his neck.

“For this, you’d truly lower yourself to that of a common whore?” Dottore asked, but his voice was already growing rough.

“It’s not as though you've thought of me as anything else.” Niwa whispered. “And I know how pathetic this is, begging you to change your mind with my body. Words aren’t going to work though, and this is all I have left.”

“Perhaps you’ll put more effort into this debate then.” Dottore replied coarsely.

Niwa closed his eyes. He palmed the cock, squeezing it between his fingers, before sliding his hand up to the waistband of the man’s trousers. He stroked over the skin lightly, until he eased his hand down the man’s pants. The tip of his finger found the head, and it was already leaking. Niwa rubbed his thumb over the tip, feeling the fluid smear on his fingers. Niwa bit Dottore’s neck. Effort, I’ll show you effort.

“Do you enjoy this?” Niwa breathed. “I know you prefer it when I’m underneath you, but don’t you like this too?” He let out a soft sigh, and nuzzled into the man’s neck. “When I’m eager and willing? I can be like this more often, if that’s what you want. I can be whatever you want when we’re together, just name it and I’ll do it. Act out every fantasy you’ve ever had, every dirty thing you’ve wanted to do to me, and I won’t ever try to weasel out of it anymore.”

Dottore’s hands found purchase on Niwa's waist, nails digging into his skin through the fabric. “I already satisfy myself with you; what’s a little token resistance when you’ll lie compliant underneath me in the end anyway?”

“I know.” Niwa stroked the shaft, and leaned in towards Dottore’s ear. “That’s why I’m not saying this to you.”

All he’d needed, was Dottore to let his guard down for a moment. Just to let the other segments hear.

Dottore shoved him away. Niwa hissed as his wrist pulled at the action, and he stumbled back, holding it to his chest. Niwa ignored the fluid staining his fingers as he rubbed his wrist. His eyes never left Dottore, as the man reached up to grab a fistful of his blue hair, as though he’d been struck by a splitting headache.

“You…” Dottore hissed through his teeth. Were he not wearing a mask, he might have glared too. “This was your plan, wasn’t it? To use the envy of the other segments against me. To make me choose: give in or lose you to the highest bidder?” He sneered at him. “A whore through and through.”

Niwa met his gaze steadily. “I know.”

“You understand that your gamble can still backfire on you, correct?” Dottore retorted, but his voice seemed strained. Perhaps it was the cacophony of the other segments yelling in his mind all at once. “To do something so foolish, on some chance it’d work out for you? What’s preventing me from simply negating it all once your back is turned and the other segments lose interest in entertaining this?”

“Nothing.” Niwa whispered. He’d never had any power in this – not in Inazuma, and especially not here. It was just endless turmoil until Dottore finally got bored of him. Even if the man agreed, Niwa was under no illusion this could be a victory of any kind, that he'd still be subjected to the man's whims no matter what. “There’s absolutely nothing I can do.” He'd lost his chance to end things when he let Escher take the letter opener from him all those years ago. 

Slowly, Dottore chuckled. He straightened back up, letting his arm fall to his side and seemed none the worse for wear. Niwa wondered if the man had even been affected by the hivemind, or it was all for show.

“You understand, this trick of yours will only work once, don’t you?”

Niwa nodded slowly. “I do.”

Quick as a flash, Dottore grabbed Niwa by the front of his tunic, and tossed him onto the mattress. Niwa turned over onto his back as the man climbed on top of him. Dottore grabbed his jaw, fingers tight against his skin.

“Now then, let’s negotiate.”

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 4 of Monochrome