Polycule in Denial

by bitacrytic

Summary:

Suwei thinks it's funny.
Chi Cheng doesn't think about it.
Xiao thinks he could make it happen.
Chengyu thinks it's the scariest thing he ever heard.
-the one where they all get together for reasons.

Chapter 1: A tiny joke

It's not the first time Suwei has thought of it. Because it's funny. Mostly because he loves the way Chicheng's ears go red two seconds before he complains about Suwei visiting Dr. Xiao.

He doesn't bring it up, but Suwei thinks about it. Alot. Because... Well, because it's funny. No one will take it seriously. It's just a joke. A longtime, running joke that's been hiding beneath the healed scars of old wounds. A joke so funny that Chicheng won't even dignify it with a response.

It's funny. Suwei laughs when he thinks about it.

Because who would believe that maybe... just MAYBE... Suwei... sometimes... wants to kiss Xiao on the mouth?

Who would listen when he mentions Chengyu's subtle investment and verbal input in Suwei's sex life?

Who would take him seriously if he points out that Chicheng stares at his best friend too long?

How is he going to explain that he wasn't stalking when he saw Chicheng back Xiao into a corner before turning away at the last second?

It's never that serious.

It's a little joke between friends.

Which is why Suwei never says anything about it.

Ever.

Chapter 2: A kiss or more

Suwei and Xiao pitched a rom-com for movie night and when Chicheng argued, Suwei assured him that there would plenty nasty sex scenes.  

Few minutes in, Chicheng knew he'd, once again, fallen for Suwei's lies.

Which was just as well because he got to wrap himself around Suwei for two hours without having to move. And he loved it.

While Suwei watched and shared whispered words with Xiao, who was also swaddled on Chengyu's arms, Chicheng was lulled to sleep, not even twenty minutes after the movie began.

When he woke, it took a moment for him to gather his surroundings. He was still in Xiao's apartment. The TV was idling and the lights were still out.

In the dark, he could see the curve of Suwei's body, where he'd rolled to the edge. Xiao and Chengyu had to have retired. Reaching over, Chicheng pulled him back, hand slipping down the front of his pajamas as he cupped Suwei lightly, humming at his hardening dick. Climbing over him, Chicheng kissed him as Suwei met him, a little more aggressively than Suwei usually was. His lips felt fuller too, cushioning the bite of Chicheng's kisses with every move. And the scent... the taste of Chengyu's cherry-flavoured lip gloss. It had been years since he tasted it. He should have asked why Suwei tasted like Chengyu but Chicheng found himself intoxicated by it. Delving deeper, he pressed Suwei into the bed, sucking on his lips as he stroked Suwei closer to ecstasy.

Moaning against Chicheng's lips, Suwei wrapped his hands around Chicheng's back, his nails digging through the cotton fabric of Chicheng's pajama. Hardening in his pants, Chicheng ground down on Suwei's legs, wondering when Suwei had learned to be so rough... so violent. The deeper his nails dug into Chicheng, the harder he stroked, the faster he humped against Suwei.

Closer...

Closer, they both rode...

The pain on his back, the feel of Suwei's dick, the smell of Chengyu's lip gloss.

Chicheng was two moments away from coming when he heard the faintest word from Suwei's lips.

"Chengyu."

Halting as his orgasm hit so hard he groaned, he bit down on Suwei's lips.

"What the hell?" Chengyu said above Chicheng, as the lights came on.

Still quivering, still coming in his pants, Chicheng looked up to find, not just Chengyu... but Suwei, standing with his mouthing hanging open and two cups of juice in his hand.

When Chicheng looked down, Suwei wasn't in his arms. A confused, shocked Xiao stared up at him, mouth swollen from Chicheng's kisses.

With a joined squeal, both men jumped away from each other.

"Chicheng," Suwei said, climbing onto the bed as the juice splashed around in his hand. "You were kissing Xiao just now," he said, as if Chicheng hadn't been a part of it.

"What the fuck, dude?" Chengyu said, still looking at Chicheng as he  grabbed Xiao in his arms.

"I'm sorry," Chicheng said. "I thought he was you," he said to Suwei.

Worried, scared that he'd broken this fragile, new thing the four of them had going, he looked between his boyfriend and his best friend, dreading the betrayal hed find in their eyes.

He found the same confusion and shock that he'd seen on Xiao's face, but for some reason, Chicheng couldn't find an ounce of anger lingering in either of their eyes.

Chapter 3: A reason to want

Xiao's not really sure what's happening, when Chengyu pulls him into the privacy of their room. He's expecting more questions. He's expecting some ire. He's expecting anything at all.

What he gets, instead, is desperate, tender kisses along his neck, his lips, his shoulders. Hands wandering all over his body, tracing as if following a disappearing scent with diligence.

Xiao is too grateful to question it. Not when Chengyu makes love to him, quietly, gently, like he fears something might crack between them if he doesn't take his time.

It's not until they're done, until they're lying tangled in pieces of unrelenting clothing, that Xiao realises what's going on. At least, a little bit of it.

"Chengyu?" he says as he receives a grunt for a reply. "Is this..." Xiao hesitates.

"What?" Chengyu asks, lifting his head from the other side of the bed.

Xiao takes a moment to adjust as he leans up till they're both looking at each other from across the bed.

"Your other boyfriends," Xiao continues. "When Chicheng takes them from you, do you take them back?"

Chengyu blinks rapidly, his face turning a bright shade of red as he furrows his brow.

"What?" he asks.

"Have you fucked anyone after Chicheng has had them?"

Chengyu sputters, sitting up properly. "Where is this coming from?"

Xiao can feel the denial from a mile away. He's been here before. Apparently, it was only always a joke. There has never been anything sexual between the best friends. It is even more ridiculous now that they've stop kissing each other. It was always just a game. Still is.

Xiao isn't convinced. Especially now that he's just witnessed a side of Chengyu that he's never seen. He'd wanted to touch where Chicheng had touched Xiao. He'd wanted to kiss where Chicheng had kissed. He could deny it all he wanted, but sees the signs.

And it isn’t just from Chengyu, either. Chicheng also has his suspicious streak. Maybe anger and betrayal has torn them apart. Maybe they are only just trying to mend their friendship after seven years. Maybe they aren't kissing anymore, but at least, it has to mean something that Chicheng has wanted to kiss every mouth that Chengyu has kissed.

And now Xiao finds himself on that list. He isn't pawned off. Chicheng hasn't won him in a bet. He is a current boyfriend. The first boyfriend who Chengyu can kiss, after Chicheng has kissed him.

"Xiao-" Chengyu begins.

But Xiao crawls across the bed, climbing onto of Chengyu as he shushes him with a finger against his lips.

"Just listen," he says "Before you deny it. Listen."

Licking his lips as he fights not to argue, Chengyu leans back on both hands, eyes expectant but guarded.

"Two things are true," Xiao says. "One, is that I'm very sorry for nearly fucking Chicheng. I thought he was you."

"It doesn't matter," Chengyu says.

"Which leads me to two: I understand that your relationship with Chicheng-"

"Friendship," Chengyu corrects.

"Relationship," Xiao maintains, "is the most important thing to you."

"That's not true," Chengyu says, frowning. "Not since I met you."

Xiao fights the fluttering of happy butterflies he feels when he hears the truth in Chengyu's voice, but he pushes ahead.

"You care about him?"

"Yeah," Chengyu agrees with a shrug.

"You love him."

"I wouldn't go that far."

"You're attracted to him."

Chengyu hisses and turns away but Xiao holds him by the chin and turns him back.

"I'm not accusing you of anything," Xiao says, even as he remembers all the times he's accused Chengyu of being too close, too intimate with Chicheng.

This time is different.

"I'm not judging. He's fucking hot. He's very deliberate when he touches and he kisses like..." Xiao trails off, not sure if he's allowed to say this to his boyfriend.

"Kisses like what?" Chengyu asks, a hint of curiosity in his voice.

"Don't you know?" Xiao asks, unable to keep his own curiosity at bay.

"It's not the same thing. We used to kiss as a joke."

"Would you like to know what it feels like when he's intent on fucking you?"

Chengyu's lips fall open as his eyes widen in shock.

"I-I-I don't-I never said-"

"I know you didn't," Xiao replies, wrapping his hands around Chengyu as he places his face in the crook of his neck. "I'm not pushing for anything. I just want you know that I get it now."

"Get what?" Chengyu asked.

"The appeal of Chicheng," he said, watching goosebumps form on Chengyu's flesh were Xiao's breath brushes against. "If you ever want to know what he feels like, ask me," Xiao says, bracing himself for the next words he is about to utter. "But if you ever actually want to fuck him, I just want you to know, that I wouldn't stop you."

He feels the moment Chengyu stops moving beneath him. Almost stops breathing as soon as Xiao's words filter into his brain.

He knows what he's just said. He knows the can of worms he's possibly opened. But Xiao thinks it's foolish to deny this. He has an inkling Suwei would agree.

There's no harm in letting Chengyu quench the thirst he's been fighting for at least ten years.

He's seen what can happen when someone posses their relationship in opposition to the bond that Chicheng and Chengyu have.

Xiao finds himself wondering what joys can be found if he leans into it and embraces every bit of adventure it will bring to everyone involved.

Chapter 4: A soul like mine

Chengyu watches Suwei lead a small meeting while he waits. He can't help but wonder what the first thing to draw Chicheng's attention was. Now that Chengyu's spent enough time with Suwei, he knows that underneath all that humor and wide-eyed innocence, is a sharp and brazen mind. He understands the appeal.

But he still wonders what the first hook was.

His tiny frame? His childish way of talking? His thinly, crafted beautiful lips?

Chengyu's abandoned any notion of knowing what Chicheng's type was, over the years. He's courted tall, short, thin, chubby and between. And each time, Chicheng's come after them in equal ferocity.

If Suwei has broken that streak, Chengyu can't help but wonder. How?

When the meeting is done and everyone else leaves, Chengyu waits by Suwei's chair till he comes to sit before he leans over, crowding.

"Hey, hey. What is this?" Suwei asks, shrinking into the chair.

"All part of your plan, I assume."

"Excuse me?" Suwei asks.

Chengyu narrows his eyes.

"Are you being coy?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Suwei says, brows knitted in confusion as his voice gets tense with discomfort.

"You asked me to help you get the juicer on the highest shelf last night."

"So what?"

"You only asked after Chicheng and Xiao had dozed off and when we returned, I saw that you'd switched off the TV, even though the movie wasn't done."

Suwei scoffs and looks away.

"I don't know what you want me to say."

"I want you to admit that you planned this whole thing. Right down to keeping me in the kitchen much longer than I needed to be."

It had been so embarrassingly blatant, the more Chengyu thought about it. How Suwei, competent and able, had suddenly lost all sense and wouldn't let Chengyu leave till Chengyu made the juice himself.

Suwei gets up and moves till his table stands between them. It doesn't escape Chengyu's notice that Suwei is now closer to the door. Like he views Chengyu as some form of threat. Something that's never been true in their months of knowing each other.

Standing straight and trying to relax his features, Chengyu doesn't pursue Suwei.

"It was going to happen eventually," Suwei says.

"I can't think of any circumstance where Xiao would want to fuck Chicheng."

"I can think of a million where Chicheng would want Xiao."

"Not when he has you," Chengyu replies.

"This isn't just about me," Suwei says running his hand through his hair. "This is not about jealousy. Don't look at me like that."

"How else am I supposed to look at you?" Chengyu asks. Because it sounds like jealousy. It sounds like something Wang Shuo would say and Chengyu hates the very thought of likening Suwei to Wang Shuo in any way, shape or form.

"I'm not Wang Shuo," Suwei says.

"I didn't say you were."

"You were thinking it."

Chengyu covers his mouth to control his retort.

"He loves me. But he loves you too. And I know you love Xiao." Suwei leans over the table. "Look me in the eye and tell me you didn't go crazy on him after we left last night."

Chengyu feels the heat rising from his neck to his ears.

"What does that-"

"You fucked him thinking about my boyfriend. Don't even lie."

Chengyu doesn't want to be in this conversation again. If it isn't Wang Shuo, it's Xiao. If it isn't Xiao, it's Suwei. Giving up, he heads for the door, but Suwei gets to it first, blocking the way as he locks it, just in time for Chengyu to crash him against the door. Face to face, Chengyu stares down at Suwei and for the first time, being this close, he's hit by the most soulful gaze, beckoning him closer as Suwei holds him on the spot with nothing but his eyes.

When Suwei's tongue darts out to wet his lips, Chengyu wonders if there's enough reward to risk the consequences of leaning down for a kiss.

"I'm not just talking about you and Chicheng," Suwei says, startling Chengyu from his thoughts. "I'm talking about you and me."

"What?" Chengyu asks, his head clearing as he takes a step back. Because god forbid Chicheng even gets a whiff of this conversation.

"Xiao and I are a topic for another day, but I'll settle for both of us admitting what's sitting in this room between us. Without our boyfriends."

And now, Chengyu realises why Suwei had gone close to the door. He wasn't afraid of Chengyu. He'd know Chengyu would try to run.

"There's nothing between us."

"No?" Suwei asks, not moving from the door. "Because it's easy to misunderstand all that sexual coaching you've been giving me lately."

"As friends," Chengyu states.

"You've seemed awfully invested in how well I fuck my boyfriend." Suwei's eyes widen. "Unless it's about Chicheng."

And they are back on this again.

"Nah," Suwei says, waving away dismissively. "You're invested because of me. I can see it in your eyes. How you're always two seconds from holding me down to show me."

"I don't know what you're talking about." He's only just got Chicheng back. If he even thinks about... Chengyu will never risk that again.

"You're scared of losing him when he nearly fucked your boyfriend last night."

"That was your doing."

"That's not the fucking point."

"Then what is?" Chengyu shouts back, regretting the volume of his voice but being so grateful that there's no fear to be found anywhere around Suwei. "What's the point?" he asks much calmer as he walks back to the door.

To Suwei.

"The point is," Suwei says, eyes never leaving Chengyu's. "That you want three people-"

"No, I don't."

"-but you're too much of a coward to do anything about it."

"Coward?" Chengyu asks as he reaches Suwei, placing both hands on either side of Suwei's shoulders. "I'm not a coward."

Suwei scoffs and leans forward as he whispers, "Prove it."

Chengyu can't move. Suwei is right. He's a fucking coward. This isn't a dark night where the lights are out. He can see this isn't Xiao just as surely as Suwei can see that he isn't Chicheng. It's stupid to let Suwei pull him in like this.

And yet-

Suwei leans up and presses a soft kiss to his lips. It takes Chengyu's breath away. It's the simplest thing. As mundane as a teenager's first kiss, but it tugs on Chengyu's heart with such aggression that he has to remind himself that he needs oxygen.

"Before the guilt sets in," Suwei says. "I suggest we call our boyfriends and have a talk." He places a gentle hand on Chengyu's chest. "Yeah?"

Looking down at him, still trying to breathe, Chengyu finds himself agreeing, without realising what it is he's actually just agreed to do.

Chapter 5: A moment

 

"So, who wants to go first?" 

Three sets of eyes land on Suwei as soon as the words leave his mouth.

It's dark now. Everyone's settled into the couches in the sitting area.

Suwei is going with the flow. Chengyu hasn't moved since Xiao arrived. Chicheng's left leg has been bouncing from where it was crossed over his right. 

Suwei thinks it's funny that no one is coupled up. For the first in forever, they're all seated apart. Four separate entities. Unsure. Scared. Guilty.

Suwei doesn't feel guilty. He wanted to kiss Chengyu and so he did.

"I'll go first," Suwei says.

Still looking at him, none of them say anything.

"OK," he begins. "About thirty minutes ago, I kissed Chengyu."

"I beg your fucking pardon," Chicheng says, leaning slightly forward as his head turns in Chengyu's directions.

"It wasn't a serious kiss," Suwei says.

"That wasn't serious to you?" Chengyu asks.

"You kissed my boyfriend?" Chicheng asks. 

"Actually, I kissed him," Suwei admits.

Hurt, Chicheng frowns at Suwei. 

"Is it because of what I did yesterday?" he asks. "Are you- are you trying to get back at me for-"

"No," he replies before Chicheng can finish. "It's nothing like that."

"Then why would you kiss him?"

"Because I wanted to."

"You..." Chicheng trails off, his eyes darting between Chengyu and Suwei. "I don't get it."

"I wanted to kiss him and so I kissed him."

"But you're in love with me."

"Eternally, my dearest love," Suwei says leaning close. "But it's just something I've been wanting to do."

Chicheng gets up and paces around the room.

"You wanted to kiss him?"

"Yes, but I wasn't doing it to hurt you." Suwei's not so sure about his choice to do it anymore. Not with the way Chicheng frowns at the ground as he paces. 

"I'm sorry."

"No," Chicheng says, coming to kneel before Suwei with furrowed brows. "I'm not... I don't know. I'm not really mad about it. I'm just confused. Where is this coming from? You've never been with another man before and now you want to kiss two?"

"I never thought men were sexy before and now I'm around hot guys. Surely, this was bound to happen."

"Do you want to only kiss? Do you want more? Why am I the only one wondering about this?" he says, looking at Xiao. "Step in anytime and comment on how your previously straight student wants to kiss your boyfriend."

Biting his lips, deep in thought, Xiao sits up as he finally opens his mouth to say, "I want to see it."

"See what?" Chengyu asks.

"You two kissing." Xiao's finger dances between Suwei and Chengyu. 

"Are you alright?" Chengyu asks, pressing the back of his hand to Xiao's forehead.

Xiao smiles at him as he pulls his hand away.

"You saw Chicheng and I kissing. I think it's only fair that you guys do it so that we can see." 

Chengyu sighs in frustration.

"Xiao, surely you don't want me to kiss every guy in our friend group."

"Every guy?" Chicheng asks.

Chengyu's mouth clamps shut once he realises what he's said.

"Every guy where?" Chicheng insists.

"It's nothing," Chengyu says.

"It doesn't sound like nothing," Suwei says, applying pressure and feeling smug.

Because he knew it. He fucking knew Chengyu and Xiao had talked about this. They would have to, after what they'd seen Xiao and Chicheng doing.

"Xiao just has a wild imagination," Chengyu says. 

"You mean the same imagination that I have?" Suwei says.

Chengyu narrows his eyes at Suwei, knowing that his argument is weak against Xiao and suwei at the same time.

Giving up, he takes Chicheng's place as the pacer, rubbing against his forehead for comfort.

"What's going on?" Chicheng asks.

"Xiao thinks I want to kiss you," Chengyu spits out, focusing himself to sound nonchalant.

Chicheng's eyes flutter as his Adam's apple bops. His hands clamp down on Suwei's but his next words are deceptively calm.

"That's not a big deal. We used to kiss all the time before."

"Thank you!" Chengyu screams at the ceiling. "He knows it meant nothing."

"Do you really?" Suwei asks Chicheng as Chicheng pulls his hand off Suwei and looks away.

"It meant something last night," Xiao said. "You asked me what his kisses felt like."

"Because I was curious."

"If you're curious, he's right there. Kiss him and find out. You have my permission."

"And mine," Suwei says, raising a hand.

"Are we taking kissing requests now?" Chengyu asks. "What if I wanted to see you two kiss?" Chengyu asks, pointing between Xiao and Suwei.

Xiao shrugs and says, "I'll kiss him if you want."

"I dare you," Chengyu says, truly certain that Xiao isn't brave enough.

Without waiting for another word, Xiao hops over the center table to get to Suwei. Climbing into his lap, Xiao grabs Suwei by the neck and kisses him.

"Oh," Chicheng gasps beside him.

Suwei's caught off guard and nearly pulls away but he recognises that gasp from Chicheng. It's an excited gasp and he's never heard Chicheng make that sound in the presence of other people.

It's not verbal permission. But it's enough that Suwei's arms circle around Xiao's waist as he pulls him close, opening up his mouth to be devoured.

In the moment, Suwei feels something shift. Because this isn't a kiss in the dark or a secret in an office. It's Suwiei kissing his bestfriend while their boyfriends watch. It's an admission of hopes he's had for so long. It's more than he could have hoped for so he grabs onto it with the same desperate need with which he's taken a hold of Xiao.

Chapter 6: A way to do it

It's surreal watching two men he's kissed before, kiss each other. He's held Suwei up to devour his lips, but he's also felt the aggression of Xiaoshuai's kisses.

He doesn't know who he envies more.

Suwei's hands are wrapped tightly around Xiaoshuai, like he fears the doctor will run. But that's the extent of his active participation. Xiaoshuai kisses deeply, turning as he sucks on Suwei's lips, moving him how he pleases. Pulling quiet sounds from Suwei's throat as he lounges in Xiaoshuai's embrace.

Chicheng doesn't know what he's doing till he's sitting beside them, one leg sprawled behind Suwei on the couch while the other gives him balance on the floor. It's more intimate to watch them, this way. To see the way Suwei's jaw works as he tries to keep up with Xiaoshuai. Leaning close, Chicheng places a hand on the base of Suwei's neck, touching his skin, feeling the way his body moves in tandem with Xiaoshuai's wishes.

He kisses Suwei on his shoulder, inching closer. Wishing he could kiss him. Wishing he could feel the heat of Xiaoshuai's lips on his own skin.

When Xiaoshuai pulls away, leaving Suwei looking bereft, Chicheng's eyes fix upon Chengyu, who's on the other side, who's also moved to sit so close, he's been within sniffing distance, all this time.

"Your turn," Xiaoshuai says, sitting back in Suwei's lap.

Chicheng moves without conscious thought, reaching for Chengyu and bringing him between Suwei and Xiaoshuai.

His thumb strokes along the curve of Chengyu's cheekbones, giving Chengyu every chance to pull away, but he doesn't. Their lips meet, a hesitant press at first. Then Chengyu deepens the kiss, and it’s like a key turning inside Chicheng as memories flood through.

He remembers being thirteen, clumsy and a little drunk, kissing Chengyu. He remembers the taste of his father's whiskey and the scent of rain-soaked clothes in the corner of his room. He remembers the quiet laughter, the tangled limbs, the simple, effortless connection, all stemming from simple affection. An innocent closeness that should have... that would have meant nothing if it was anyone else.

This kiss bites in a way that hurts. Thirteen years of pretence falls away. Thirteen years of childish blunders cut deep in the way Chengyu holds Chicheng with just as much fervent want. It’s supposed to be easy and familiar.

It's not.

It's cutting. It tugs at Chicheng till he feels the tears in his eyes.

When Chicheng finally pulls away, it’s only an inch. His forehead rests against Chengyu's, their breaths mingling in the small space between them. Chengyu's eyes are wide, glassy with unshed tears.

"I lied," Chicheng whispers, his voice thick with emotion. "It never meant nothing."

He feels Suwei's hand on his cheek before he sees it.

"Why did you say it did?" he asks as he wipes the tears from Chicheng's eyes.

When he looks at Suwei, he says, "I don't know."

"Are you lying again?" Xiaoshuai asks.

"He lied because it hurts," Chengyu says, taking everyone's attention. "We didn't know what we were doing or what we wanted." He clears his throat. "By the time we did, he was in love with someone else."

There's no judgement in Chengyu's voice, but Chicheng's guilt wrenches through him like a racing bike through a tunnel.

"Maybe," Suwei says, still gently wiping Chicheng's tears away. "Maybe we can try being more honest with each other."

Chengyu scoffs. "You first."

"What does that mean?" Xiaoshuai asks as strange looks pass between Chengyu and Suwei.

"You're never going to let that go," Suwei whines as he moves Xiaoshuai off his lap, dislodging everyone else in the process.

"What is he talking about?" Chicheng asks.

"I didn't fucking plan it."

"Ha!" Chicheng let's out loudly.

"I didn't," Suwei insists.

But Chicheng can see Suwei beginning to change color. The way he does when he's about to confess.

"You two were asleep last night and I just wanted to see something. So I asked Chengyu to help me make juice and kept him in the kitchen..." he pauses, "till I heard you guys... moaning."

And nope, not even an ounce of surprise rises in Chicheng. Because, ofcourse his Da Bao is right in the middle of it. It's the crux of what Chicheng has agreed to, for the rest of his life. Because Suwei wants to fix everything. And frankly, if Suwei hadn't, they wouldn't be where they were.

He's a sneaky bullshitter. But he's Chicheng's bullshitter and he can't help it if his heart swells just a little as he looks at Suwei.

Suwei looks at Chicheng and his worry smoothens out into a smile as he collapses at Chicheng's side.

"Now, can we all be honest?" he asks. Not letting it go. "Can we talk without gaslighting each other into thinking this..." he twirls his finger in a circle, "is nothing?"

"It's not nothing," Chengyu says. "Satisfied?"

"Nope," Xiaoshuai says, shaking his head.

"Not you too."

"I want to hear everything. I want to know everything. You kissed Suwei. Who knows what else happened?"

"What about you and Suwei?" Chengyu asks.

"What about us?"

Chicheng scoffs, because Chengyu has got a valid point. The other two keep making it seem like Chicheng and Chengyu are the only ones with history.

"He is my mentor," Suwei says, getting up to go sit beside Xiaoshuai. "It's not the same thing."

"Not even close," Xiaoshuai agrees.

"You're forgetting that I've seen your chat," Chicheng says.

Xiaoshuai and Suwei's eyes widen in uniform horror.

"What chat?" Chengyu asks, coming over to Chicheng.

"How they were planning to seduce me?" Chicheng replies.

"I'd never been with a man before. He was coaching me."

"On how to send dick pics?"

Chengyu gasps.

"Which," Chicheng continues, "I never actually got any of those dick pics you spent all that time coaching for."

"It was nothi-"

"Nothing? Really?" Chicheng asks Xiaoshuai with narrowed eyes.

"I thought we're not supposed to call anything nothing," Chengyu states. "No matter how insignificant we think it, it means something, right?"

Suwei and Xiaoshuai share defeated looks. Chicheng finds his interest piqued. Because if it was only the chats, they wouldn't be so defensive.

"Okay," Chicheng says, sitting forward. "How about we play a game?"

Xiaoshuai looks suspicious but Suwei sits forward, completely intruiged by the idea of a game.

"I'm listening."

"We trade things we've done," Chicheng says. "With each other. Chicheng and I say one thing, and then the two of you have to say something."

"Hold on," Xiaoshuai says as he raises a hand. "There's no way we've done as much you two."

"You can't compare twenty-five years of unresolved sexual tension with barely two years of a platonic, innocent friendship," Suwei points out.

"Platonic? Chengyu asks.

"Innocent?" Chicheng follows. "Might I refer you to those chat message once again, Da Bao?"

"Oh, for fucksake," Xiaoshuai says, giving up.

"Fine," Suwei says. "Let's do it then."

"Who's going first?" Chengyu asks as Xiaoshuai puts out his fist.

Together, Chengyu and Xiaoshuai shake their fists three times and set:

Xiaoshuai puts out paper. Chengyu puts out rock.

"You first," Suwei says with a smug look.

"Fine," Chicheng says looking at Chengyu.

Chengyu shrugs. "No need to hide anything anymore."

"Okay then," Chicheng says. "I'll start small."

He knows the secret he wants to share. His heart thumps in his chest and he has to remind himself that this is a safe space. Suwei isn't going to judge him. Neither is Xiaoshuai. And Chengyu is the other half of the secret. So it's all good.

"When I got my first tattoo," he begins. "Chengyu kissed it."

He clears his throat and tries not to flinch.

Xiaoshuai frowns, unable to understand.

"Your first tattoo is below your nipple..." Suwei trails off as his eyes sweep between them. He licks his lip.

"Oh," Xiaoshuai says, crossing and uncrossing his legs like he can't control himself. "You've kissed him on the nipples?" Xiaoshuai asks, his voice light and breathy. "Did you suck on it?"

Chicheng wants to melt into the chair but he's glad that they're more focused on Chengyu than they are on him.

"I..." Chengyu looks to him for support, but Chicheng isn't in a position to offer any. "Yes. A little," he admits.

"Oh my god," Suwei says gripping Xiaoshuai's arm.

It's in this moment that Chicheng realises that this isn't just curiosity on their part. They're excited by it. The thought of their boyfriend being sexual with his bestfriend is turning these two gremlins on. Chicheng feels his back straighten just a bit. It hadn't occurred to him but now that he thinks about it, it's basically the same for him.

He remembers watching Suwei kiss Xiaoshuai and how sexy it was. How he'd wanted to get between them. It's the same thing now. They're asking because they want to experience Chicheng and Chengyu's history with them.

"Your turn," Chengyu says.

Still dazed, probably from imagining Chengyu's lips around Chicheng's nipple, Suwei licks his lips.

"Okay, uhh, Xiaoshuai and I watched porn together."

Chicheng waits for the rest of it.

"That's it?" Chengyu asks, sounding as dissatisfied as Chicheng feels.

"He said we should start simple."

"He said simple, not basic."

"It's your turn now," Xiaoshuai says. "Rack it up a notch. I dare you."

"If I do, you have to meet me up there."

"We will," Xiaoshuai says, smirking with confidence.

"Will we?" Suwei asks. "They must have done many things. We have to save our one big thing for when they truly shock us."

"Trust me. We'll do alright."

"Here we go." Chengyu let's out a breath. "Once, after basketball practice in high school. We were the last two in the shower."

Chicheng's heart races in his chest as he remembers that evening like it was yesterday. They'd been standing in the quiet room, rubbing away at their respective bodies, cleaning and minding their personal business. Till he'd turned and found Chengyu watching him, his dick in his hands. Hard.

"What happened in the shower?" Suwei asks.

"We watched each other masturbate."

"Oh, oh, oh," Suwei says, smacking at Xiaoshuai's shoulder excitedly as Xiaoshuai nods, smiling.

"Yeah," the doctor says. "We did that too."

"What?" Chicheng and Chengyu says.

"Not exactly the same," Suwei says.

"He wanted to know how to touch a man, so I showed him."

"He coached me through it."

Chicheng can't help but picture it. Suwei naked, his dick in his hand, while he watches Xiaoshuai rub his dick on a chair, across from him. In a calm, soothing tone, Xiaoshuai talks him through it. Explains it so slowly, so sensually that it doesn't take much to bring Suwei to ecstasy.

"You've seen his dick," Chengyu asks. "In real life, not just in pictures?"

Suwei and Xiaoshuai nod back, pride simmering barely beneath the surface as they realise that their boyfriends aren't threatened by it, but just as excited as they are.

"He showed me how to use a dildo, too."

Chicheng's heart drops into his stomach.

"That's a whole other secret we could have used for another round."

"Fuck, you're right," Suwei says, looking cheated and betrayed.

Chicheng would be feeling triumphant if his heart would chill a bit. He can still see it. Suwei on his back, legs in the air as Xiaoshuai works a dildo into his ass. And yes, Xiaoshuai's voice in the background is as necessary as ever.

"Did you use it on him?" Chengyu asks. "When- when you were teaching him?"

"The first time, yes," Xiaoshuai says.

"The first time?" Chicheng asks.

"He gets better after."

"How many times have you done this?" Chengyu asks.

Suwei shrugs as Xiaoshuai says, "Three times."

Chicheng can feel Chengyu beside him, almost vibrating right out of his skin as he inches closer to the center of the room.

"Did you touch it?" Chengyu asks Xiaoshuai. "Did you open him up?"

"No," he replies. "I showed him how to prep on myself and he did himself."

Chicheng is a little disappointed. A few months ago, he'd have died of jealousy if Suwei was touched by another man. But now, he finds himself mourning the loss of something he never knew he'd need. He can't get it out of his head. He can't help but picture how it would have been if Xiaoshuai had lubbed his finger and inserted it into Suwei. One after the other. Till Suwei was writhing from the pressure. Hard. Ready to come.

"Do you want to do it?" Chicheng asks, unable to stop himself. "To finger him, I mean."

Suwei tilts his head at Chicheng as a small smile plays on his lips.

"Is that something you want to see?"

It is. With every fibre of his being. He wants... words can't quantify the possibilities that Chicheng's mind is exploring that directly involves everyone in the room.

"I want to know more," Chengyu cuts in before Chicheng can reply. "I want to know everything."

"That's it," Suwei says. "We don't have anymore. I wish we did but we don't."

Chicheng frowns at that. Because he knows Suwei is telling the truth. He swallows, wanting more. Wishing his boyfriend had gone behind his back and done so much more with his mentor.

"That makes it our turn," Chengyu says, looking at Chicheng.

He takes a calming breath and says, "If that's the case, I guess I'd better drop the biggest thing and end this."

Chengyu covers his mouth with his hand as he gets up and paces away. He knows what Chicheng is about to say.

It's not something they've ever discussed. It was something that didn't concern anyone. Not their parents. Not their friends or employees. Certainly not their boyfriends.

Not until today.

"He was my first," Chicheng says.

Suwei squeals as he grabs Xiaoshuai who innocently asks, "First what?"

"We took each other’s virginity," Chengyu explains.

Xiaoshuai gasps as he stands to his feet.

Suwei crosses the distance between them till he's hanging on Chicheng.

"I want all the details. Please, I beg you."

"Feel free to fill in," Xiaoshuai says to Chengyu. "Whenever you think he's not being adequate."

It's more attention than he's ever thought he'd need to discuss the loss of his virginity. But he revels in. Finds courage in the way they watch him as he describes that night in Chengyu's room.

They'd been talking about girls. Because girls were a safer topic. Never mind that they'd kissed before. Never mind that they'd seen each other come. Being straight was the default. Until that point, anything they'd ever done was nothing serious. But they'd been talking and Chicheng wanted to kiss him. Before he knew it, he was on his back.

Chengyu knew more than he did. Chengyu watched more movies than he did. Chengyu hung out with olders boys.

Chicheng only had Chengyu.

Chicheng let Chengyu coax him out of his clothes. He'd been nervous and scared but so excited.

He understands how it sounds to take such a passive role in his relationship with Chengyu. But that's always been the case. Because Chengyu has always known best.

He only starts to take the lead when Wang Shuo comes around and Chengyu starts to back away.

It hurts when Chengyu enters him. But it's Chengyu so Chicheng trusts the process. He waits out the initial burn, enjoys the feel of Chengyu's hand on his dick. Soon, all he can feel is Chengyu's dick igniting something hot and sweet inside of him. All he can smell is Chengyu's cologne, his sweat. He can feel his lips. His hands. Chengyu all around him, guiding him through it, blocking away the rest of the world from Chicheng's perception.

He comes long before Chengyu does, but he doesn't mind. The burn pleasures him in ways he doesn't ever want to forget.

When he's done speaking, the room is silent. Chengyu is in the corner, his hands on his neck as he cringes. Suwei and Xiaoshuai are on either side of him, staring at him like a blink would cause them to lose the whole story.

Chicheng can't believe he's just shared all that. He feels a lightness in his chest that he's never felt. He revels in it.

"Don't take this the wrong way," Suwei says, but he's not looking at Chicheng. He's looking at Chengyu. "I'd like to see your dick. I'd like to touch it."

"Da Bao," Chicheng says, nervous laughter bubbling within as he looks at Suwei's shameless face.

"I'd like to experience the dick that was able to conquer my exclusively top boyfriend's asshole, if that's not too much to ask."

Chapter 7: A thing might be true

In theory?

It makes sense. When four, consenting adults want to fuck, it's easy to imagine what they'd do to one another. It's easy to talk about it. 

They've done everything else with their boyfriends. They've kissed, licked, touched every inch of skin to the point of obsession. They know what it's like to do, and be done to.

But it's nothing like seeing it, Xiaoshuai thinks as he watches his boyfriend's dick disappear into his bestfriend's mouth before it reappears again. It's not so long, but it's thick enough that Suwei's drooling down the side of his mouth, moaning with every thrust as he takes Chengyu, his lips stretched and glossy.

Xiaoshuai wonders if that's how he looks everytime he sucks Chengyu's dick. He wonders if Chengyu worries that he might choke and die on it.

Groaning, Chengyu grabs Suwei's shoulders to keep his knees from buckling.

Xiaoshuai nearly reaches out to help. To stop him from falling.

But he fears that any interference from him might cause them to lose concentration, wilt the tension till it dies.

Holding his breath, beside Suwei on the couch, Xiaoshuai tries not to blink, as Chengyu's groans transition into something lighter, his pitcher rising slowly and steadily as Suwei brings him to closer and closer.

Xiaoshuai doesn't know who he envies more. He wants enjoy the feel of Chengyu's dick in his mouth but he wishes he could experience the thrill of fucking into the silky heat of Suwei's mouth.

He startles, nearly jumping out of his skin when he feels a hand slip onto to his painfully hard dick.

"Wha-" he begins.

Chicheng hushes him as he slides behind Xiaoshuai, rubbing at his dick as he turns Xiaoshuai's head back to watch the other two.

"Don't mind me," he says, unbuckling Xiaoshuai's trousers with one hand while the other continues to rub him through the fabric. 

His eyes roll back in his head, but he struggles to concentrate. He wants to see this. See the moment Chengyu comes. But Chicheng's hand finds his bare dick soon enough.

Spitting onto his hand, Chicheng switches hands, dragging his wet one up and down Xiaoshuai's dick as he leans back against him, enjoying the stiffness of Chicheng's hard dick against his ass.

Matching Chengyu's thrusts, Chicheng jacks Xiaoshuai off, keeping a firm grip of his dick while they watch their boyfriends.

Chengyu's fingers are lost in Suwei's hair as he holds tight. Suwei doesn't mind. Doesn't even seem to care as he hones in with precise focus. 

It won't take long, now.

Chengyu's starting to whine and quiver.

Xiaoshuai wants it to happen. He's begging Chengyu to come.

It's not long before he realises he's not actually saying the words. Just a garbled of requests that sound like nothing but useless moans.

With Chicheng's teeth catching against his earlobes, Xiaoshuai watches Chengyu freeze as both their orgasms hit, chasing Chicheng's movements obediently.

Still, through the tremors, Xiaoshuai keeps his eyes open, devouring the loud call of Chengyu's ecstacy as Suwei sucks him right to the very end.

At last, when Xiaoshuai collapses back on Chicheng, Suwei moves Chengyu by his hips till he falls into the couch, between them.

The room grows silent.

Except for the heavy breathing that ensures as they all try to catch their breath.

Xiaoshuai is reeling. 

His heart is hammering in his chest. 

He can feel Chicheng's too. His hands haven't moved from Xiaoshuai's dick. Even though he's already made him come.

Suwei's the only one sitting on the edge of the couch, as he wipes his mouth clean, not looking at any of them.

It's a stilted moment. Precarious even. Xiaoshuai feels a slight tension beginning to mount the longer no one says anything.

Beside him, Chengyu reaches for his zipper.

Xiaoshuai stops him, pressing his hand away.

"Don't," he says, shaking his head.

Chengyu looks at him, remembering that this isn't something to feel guilty about. Xiaoshuai can see it seep right out of his boyfriend's gaze.

He kisses Chengyu to hasten the process.

"That was hot," he says.

"Yeah?" Chengyu asks, as his eyes lower to where Chicheng still has his hand in Xiaoshuai's jeans. He looks back at Xiaoshuai and asks, "Did you come?"

He nods at Chengyu as Chengyu laughs.

It's then that Chicheng moves, shifting them both out of the way to get to Suwei as he kisses him as well.

Xiaoshuai recognises that kiss. It looks the way he'd imagined it looked that night Chengyu kissed him. After Chicheng had kissed him.

He wonders if Chicheng knows that's what he's doing. Chasing the taste of Chengyu's cum in Suwei's mouth.

Curious, Xiaoshuai leans over and says to Chicehng, "Can I taste him too?"

When Chicheng sits back to reply, it's a thousand questions in his gaze. Not just for Xiaoshuai. He's looking around at Suwei and Chengyu too. 

Suwei kisses him again and pulls away. 

"Give him a taste," Suwei says.

Chicheng does.

It might just be his imagination, but Xiaoshuai thinks he can taste Chengyu's cum on Chicheng's tongue.

It's exhilarating. He wants more... he wants everything. From more persons than one.

They've crossed a line they can't go back from now. Xiaoshuai knows it. As well as any other man in the room. 

He understands what it means if he's kissing a man who just kissed the man who sucked cum from his biyfriend a few minutes ago. It's heavy and it feels good to bear the weight of that tension as Suwei and Chengyu watch him kiss Chicheng. 

This thing they want, it's not just a theory anymore.

It's real. It's scary

But it feels so good.

Notes:

One chapter to go 🙈

Chapter 8: A day for tomorrow

When Chengyu wakes, he doesn’t rush to open his eyes. 

The blinds in the office have been pulled and the glass walls are opaque so no one can see in. It doesn’t matter that he’s lying in the middle of Suwei’s meeting area with nothing but one leg of socks. 

He wants to sit in the moment just a bit longer. Before he has to get up and face the fact that this was a one-time thing and everyone else would be fine to just move on.

So, he dwells.

He relives the night they’ve just had. Pretends that it’s memories of multiple days in the past and a promise of days in the future, rather than just the few hours spent in gasping delight. Over and over, their cries ring in his ears, a melody Chengyu never dared to want. At least, not openly.

Not when he has one man.

Because wanting two is preposterous.

Wanting three is the greed they speak of in the Bible.

Chicheng is everything Chengyu remembers. And more. He’s focused and deliberate and every moment of intimacy reads like a duty. It’s overwhelming to be the object of Chicheng’s desire that Chengyu wonders how Suwei handles it. He’d been thankful not to be alone with Chicheng. Thankful that he had the stares of others to share Chicheng’s attention because Chengyu was in over his head.

Xiaoshuai was a sight to behold. He thought he’d seen every side of his boyfriend. They never held back with each other, but Xiaoshuai had never been this dominant. Not with Chengyu. Not the way he asked for things, eyes glistening in anticipation, positioning them around like he was the director in the play. Chengyu didn’t think any man would ever hold chicheng from climaxing till he watched Xiaoshuai command him to stay. Lips red from biting, hands gripping Xiaoshuai’s waist, staring up at Xiaoshuai in nothing but lust, Chicheng had obeyed. Held on till he was told to go ahead. Like a good boy.

And there was Suwei.

Chengyu thinks he’s been doing it wrong, all his life. Because he should have fucked while looking in a mirror more. A mirror would return his look of desire. A mirror would understand his moments of urgency and his moments of slow, steady rhythms. A mirror would look him in the eye with the same amount of intensity as Chengyu was feeling, at every given moment. 

However…

A mirror wouldn’t do the things Suwei has done. 

A mirror wouldn’t feel so good, rubbing against him. A mirror wouldn’t whisper inaudible words in his ears as they grinded towards gleeful oblivion. A mirror wouldn’t enter Chengyu with care and uncertainty as Suwei, even when Chengyu's body was brimming with the very same uncertainty.

Chengyu fights a gasp that causes his eyes to open.

He regrets it immediately.

The sun is out and reality will set in as soon as he admits he is awake.

When he sits up to search for his clothes, he hears quiet voices coming from beyond the shelf that divides Suwei’s office. The others are already awake. He counts and all three voices are still present. No one has left.

“...not everyday,” Suwei says, a small giggle following the practiced coyness in his voice. 

“He’s lying,” Chicheng says, obviously for Xiaoshuai’s benefit.

“You said you wouldn’t tell anyone,” Suwei chestises.

“What?” Chicheng replies. “Shuai isn’t really anyone.”

“Excuse you?” Xiaoshuai says, indignantly.

Moving a little faster, he gets dressed, not bothering to button up as he emerges to the brighter part of the office. Three pairs of eyes light up the moment they see him.

They’ve moved Suwei’s PC to the side of the table, while the other side is covered in trays of food and coffee cups still steaming.

“He’s alive,” Chicheng says dryly, offering him a cup.

“Good morning,” Chengyu says, moving to stand beside Xiaoshuai because… well, he’s familiar and considering how jittery Chengyu feels, he’s craving familiarity like a drug. “What are we talking about?” he asks as he takes a sip of coffee.

“Chicheng says they have sex everyday,” Xiaoshuai explains.

The coffee goes down the wrong pipe and Chengyu has to cough to keep from choking. He can’t believe they’re even talking about it.

“Sorry,” Suwei says, patting Chengyu gently on the back as he finds himself gravitating towards him. “Are you a child?" he asks. “Do you need a feeding bottle for your liquids?”

Sighing, Chengyu moves back into Xiaoshuai’s space because he’d forgotten that Suwei had a sharp tongue. On a normal day, he’d be able to match Suwei’s snark, but Chengyu isn’t really into it. Not when he is dreading what is to come.

“Are you okay?” Chicheng asks with a frown.

“Yeah,” he says with a nod, looking down at the food to see if he can distract himself, or the others.

“I don’t think we can do this everyday,” Xiaoshuai says. “I’d neglect the clinic. We’re not jobless children. We have responsibilities.”

“It doesn’t have to be everyday,” Chicheng says. “We can plan it.”

“Plan sex?” Suwei asks, cringing. “Why don’t we just fuck when we want to fuck?”

Chengyu blinks as he tilts his head to see if he is hearing things correctly.

“I want to fuck everyday,” Chicheng states. 

“You’re being unreasonable,” Xiaoshuai says.

“He’s really not,” Suwei replies.

“We work in three different places,” Xiaoshuai says. “We live in two different homes that are across town from each other. How will we get anything else done if all we’re doing is either driving to meet or fucking?”

“What do you think?” Chicheng asks.

It takes a moment, but eventually, Chengyu realises that Chicheng is talking to him. He clears his throat and looks around as the others return his stare.

Waiting.

What does he think? He doesn’t know. He hasn’t even had a moment to finish wallowing in the most magnificent night he’s ever had and now they’re… just… talking about it like it’s nothing? Like it’s that easy?

“I don’t know,” he says. “I thought this was a one-time thing.”

He feels the air shift as the others adjust themselves, sitting up in place. The smiles fly right out the window as confusion sets in. Apparently, none of them had considered it. Chengyu was the wet blanket to come in and ruin it.

“Uh…” he continues. “I didn’t know we, we were, you know… planning to do this again.”

“Oh,” Suwei says, looking at Chicheng like he expects Chicheng to solve it.

But Chicheng isn’t planning to. Chengyu has seen that look. Chicheng is closing up, pulling up to his full height, hands finding his pockets as he stares down at the floor.

Chengyu feels a hand touch his delicately. He looks down at Xiaoshuai.

“Is that what you want?” he asks.

Chengyu has a thousand answers lined up on his tongue. He’s trying not to mess with the marvelous thing he has going on with Xiaoshuai. He hasn’t had a real boyfriend before. He knows what he’s supposed to do. He knows what he wants to do. He has to make sure he’s doing the right thing with one person before he professes his love to two more. He’s ready to say that. 

When he opens his mouth, all he hears is, “No, that’s not what I want.”

“What do you want?” Suwei asks.

It’s soft and hesitant. Like Suwei is handling something fragile. Like this wasn’t a topic he was taking for granted two minutes earlier.

“I…” he starts, feeling a roiling in his stomach that he knows he won’t ignore. “I don’t want this to be a one-time thing,” he admits.

Suwei’s smile lights up something in him as Chicheng finally looks at him again.

“Why did you say that, then?” Chicheng asks, almost sounding genuine in his irritation.

“I just wanted us to talk about it,” Chengyu says.

“We are talking about it.”

“No,” Chengyu shakes his head. “You’re talking about sex. You’re talking about this thing like it’s just a bunch of friends getting together to fuck and then go back to work.”

Hissing, Chicheng walks over to him, grabs him by the neck and kisses Chengyu with so much force, their teeth clash. It’s harsh and nothing like the kisses they’ve shared. But beneath all the hostility and anger in Chicheng’s kiss, Chengyu feels something that is so painfully familiar. An unresolved, simmering sense of longing that he’s always known. It’s so draining that when Chicheng pulls away, Chengyu is relieved that he doesn't have to face all that unhappy want.

“Did that feel like ‘just sex’ to you?” Chicheng asks.

Unable to speak, Chengyu shakes his head from side to side.

“I want everything from you,” Chicheng says. “I want to fuck you. I want to want you. I want to talk to you. To share everything with you. I want to look at you and feel like you’re as obsessed with me as I am with you. About everything. Everyday. I want…” Chicheng’s voice breaks. “This isn’t just sex, you fucking moron.”

Chengyu feels like a moron. It’s true.

Then again, he wishes everyone would cut him some slack. He’s usually the genius of the group but something life-altering has happened and he’s scrambling to deal with it. In his own way.

“What if someone doesn’t want that?”

“I do,” Xiaoshuai says, peeking out from behind Chicheng.

“I do, too,” Suwei says, taking Chengyu’s hand and kissing his knuckles.

“What if something happens?” he says, his heart clenching at the thought of spending time apart, but not really. Experiencing what he went through with Chicheng, but with two more people. “What if we fight?”

“We fight all the time,” Suwei says. “But now, instead of two people being silly, we’ll have two more people to be objective parties and pull the others back by their ears.”

Chengyu can’t help the tiny laugh that escapes his lips.

“It’s not just fucking?” he asks.

“No,” Xiaoshuai says, kissing him chastely as Chicheng removes one hand to let him in. “We can make this serious. Go steady.”

“Go steady?” Suwei asks, coming to join the circle as he kisses Chicheng on the shoulder. “Are you twelve?”

“It’s a valid term to refer to a serious relationship.”

“If we’re, as Shuai puts it, ‘going steady’,” Chicheng says, “we still haven’t solved the problem of actually spending time together and being responsible adults.”

“We can meet here,” Suwei says, waving at the office. “I got no complaints when you all were fucking here last night.”

“So Chengyu and I would be the only ones spending fuel money?” 

“I can send you fuel money,” Chicheng says, kissing the top of Xiaoshuai’s head.

“Or we can all just move in together,” Chengyu says.

The room goes silent as the others freeze in unison. It hadn’t been said lightly, but he’d thought at least one person would have an objection. They don’t object. They stand in that moment, deep in thought like Chengyu has just dropped the most profound piece of wisdom to ever exist.

“Whose house?” Chicheng asks. “Because ours is bigger.”

“Ours is in the middle of town,” Xiaoshuai says. “An easier commute for everyone.”

“What about the snakes?” Suwei asks.

“They can live in my garden,” Chengyu offers.

They can live anywhere, to be honest. Chengyu doesn’t really care what the other three decide. A home isn’t where or what, it’s who? It’s the men in the office with him. The ones he’s seriously considering risking it all for. Because there so much beneath the raw skins they’d scraped during the night. So much more for Chengyu to feel and know and be sure of.

Too much that Chengyu knows he cannot deny it any longer.