Chapter 1: The Boy in the Alley
Chapter Text
August 1975
Scotland, Family Estate
A long stretch of unpaved road led into a lonely Scottish forest. To Muggles, this road led to nowhere interesting, just a clearing filled with birds, rabbits, and the occasional deer. To wizards, however, this road led to a beautifully hidden cottage, tucked away from prying eyes and secured with so many wards it could put a Gringott's vault to shame.
You stepped off of the carriage, a bag slung over your shoulder and your clothes a rumpled disaster. Your entire body ached from the long, grueling flight across the Atlantic ocean. You hadn't slept at all–you couldn't, not with everything on your mind.
Your mother yawned and got off the carriage, flicking her wand lazily to make her and your luggage float behind her. “Our things should have already been delivered,” she said, walking towards the front door.
You looked up at the house. It was just like you remembered it: made of stone overgrown with moss and ivy, two floors, and a mysterious tower you never were allowed up into as a child. You knew behind it was a large property, filled with a magical garden and even a greenhouse, but it probably was in a horrible state of neglect by this point, as was the entire house.
This was, or formerly was, your grandmother's estate. You were very young the last time you had come to visit, so her death was a confusing time for you. Should you grieve? Cry? You didn't know. You were far more upset about abruptly having to leave your home and especially your school, considering you were going into your 5th year!
You had grown up in the city in America, having attended Ilvermorny since you were eleven years old. Since your grandmother's death, your mother had been pushing off the move to the inherited house, until unpaid rent and utilities forced her hand back to Scottish soil.
You entered the front door. It was dusty and grim, not a single item had been moved or used. There hadn't been any type of attempt to clean or anything.
“Guess we better start cleaning,” You said with a sigh, already looking for the box in the kitchen marked “cleaning supplies”.
Your mother held up her hand, pulling out her wand. “No need for that anymore–you can cast all the magic you like here.” She waved her wand, and the dust began to vanish off of the counter.
“Um…” You blinked. Getting in trouble with the British MACUSA didn't sound like a fantastic way to end your summer. You had scrubbed the apartment by hand your whole life–no need to risk it all now.
“There's no muggles out here. Also, If I'm around, the Ministry won't care if you cast some household charms,” your mother insisted. “You don't need to wait for me to finish your potions off for you either.”
That got your interest. There were times where you had entire brews ruined because your mother didn't come home in time to help you finish off a potion. You normally brewed everything at school during the year, but sometimes you had miscalculated and ran out of stores.
“I'll…keep that in mind,” you said, your brain already racing.
“Why don't you go unpack your room, dear? I'll handle the kitchen,” your mother said as she waved her wand around.
You went up the stairs, the wood creaking under your steps. Several black and white moving photos were mounted on the walls, but you didn't know who half the people were. Your mother didn't talk about your wizarding family at all.
Your mother had taken the master suite, of course, with an attached bathroom. You got what you presumed was the guest room. It was as dusty as any other room in the house, and an extremely dated quilt was spread across the bed. You sat on it, and sighed with relief that at least it was soft.
Your boxes of things were in the corner. This room was at least twice as big as the one at the apartment, and the window even had a nice view of the overgrown backyard. There was a large wooden dresser, a closet, and even a vanity with a mirror in the corner.
You went downstairs to grab some of those cleaning supplies and began to dust and clean up the furniture. Once you were done, you opened your box and began to arrange your things. You smelled some kind of food from downstairs when you had put the last colorful potion on the vanity.
Your mother was cooking a meal–well, as much cooking as your mother would ever do. She was looking through a stack of mail, which a cute little brown owl had just brought in, while the pots on the stove cooked the food themselves with a charm.
“I believe…this is for you,” your mother said, handing you a small white envelope with a red seal.
You opened the letter. It felt…special and exciting somehow, even though you already knew what it was.
Dear Miss Y/N L/N,
We are pleased to inform you that, following a review of your magical education and abilities, you have been accepted as a fifth-year student at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, beginning 1 September 1975.
Hogwarts is confident that your prior experience in magical study will allow you to integrate smoothly with your classmates and continue to develop your talents. You will find that the curriculum in your fifth year includes advanced subjects and opportunities for specialization.
Please find enclosed a list of required books, supplies, and information regarding uniforms and accommodations.
We look forward to welcoming you to Hogwarts and to your contributions to our school community.
Yours sincerely,
Minerva McGonagall
Deputy Headmistress
Once you finished the letter, you found the enclosed list and began reading it. Your mother beamed and clapped her hands together in glee.
“Oh my goodness! You'll be going to Hogwarts! Isn't that exciting?”
You looked up, a bit troubled. “But I liked Ilvermorny…”
“Yes…well…” Your mother faltered for a moment. “...no offense to Ilvermorny, but Hogwarts has been open for over a thousand years. All of your wizarding family attended, including me.” She sighed. “I wonder what house you'll end up in…Ravenclaw, most likely. Like me and your grandmum.”
You nodded. It was likely, considering your placement as a Horned Serpent back at Ilvermorny. “Right…well, where do we get this stuff? Is there a way you order this by owl or something?”
Your mother laughed. “Oh no dear…there's only one place we're going to get all of this!”
Diagon Alley
Having lived most of your life in America, with the magical world being kept as a hidden secret underneath the No-Maj, you had forgotten about the way British wizards lived. There were entire Wizarding communities that lived freely and openly with one another in hidden areas away from muggle eyes.
As you were walking down Diagon Alley with your mother, you stopped in front of a sign you recognized. You had come here when you were a little girl, the last time you had come to visit your grandmother.
“Ollivanders,” you said with a pause.
Your mother nodded. “Yes, this is where we got your wand.”
Normally, American wizards obtained their wands at Ilvermorny when they arrived at school. You, however, were the only student who already had a wand when you arrived. That's because your grandmother had insisted that you get a wand from Ollivanders, as she considered them the best.
You had to agree. You loved your wand. It definitely suited you. It was a bit alienating to be the only one of your classmates to sit out of the wand choosing ceremony, but nothing about your magical life had ever been normal.
“I'm going to do a bit of shopping,” your mother said. “You can find your way around, I think. Stay out of Knockturn Alley and you'll do all right.”
With that, she was gone, leaving you to your own devices.
Great. I don't even know in what stores I can find this stuff.
Looking over the list, you decided to start with the easiest one–the books. Several people with children seemed to be entering a book store called Flourish and Blotts. You deciding to look in there for your textbooks was probably a safe bet.
You had most of the potions textbooks listed already. There was a herbology book you needed, as well as the fifth year level spellbooks for the rest of your classes.
“Defensive Magical Theory,” you said, picking up a copy of the tome and beginning to flip through it.
“Lovely–so I wasn't hallucinating our required reading.”
You looked up, startled. A boy about your age had appeared in the aisle. He was slender, had pale skin, shoulder length black hair, and a large hooked nose. His eyes were such a dark brown they were almost black, and he had dark circles underneath them.
He turned his head to face you once he noticed you were looking at him. His hair fell like curtains in front of his face, and despite his snarky remark he looked incredibly shy, like he had regretted speaking.
“This book?” You asked, holding it up for him to see the title. “It's on the Hogwarts supply list. Are you a student?”
“Obviously,” the boy said, not making eye contact with her. His ugly gray shirt was far too big for him, and made him look even thinner than he was. He reluctantly picked up a copy of the book you were holding. “This book is worthless, you know. The only reason they're assigning it to us is because of the OWLS.”
You blinked. “Worthless? Then why–”
“They're afraid,” said the boy. “Of what wizards can do when taught real magic.” He awkwardly shifted where he stood, as if trying to hold back every ounce of curiosity in his body. “Who are you, anyway?”
“Oh, my name is Y/N,” you said with a smile.
The boy clutched the book in his hands tighter. “Severus.” He ran his fingers through his hair, as if he wanted to push it out of the way, but it just fell right back into place again.
“I…” You decided he probably would be able to help you. “I'm a transfer student. I've never been here before. Do you know where I can get the stuff on the supply list?”
“Um…” He looked a bit taken aback, like the mere concept of someone asking him for help was alien. “...yes.”
After you bought your books, Severus flicked his head, signaling you to follow him. He stashed his new book in an old beaten up bag slung at his side.
Slug and Jiggers. Several teens were inside this apothecary, looking around at various ingredients. Once you stepped inside, you followed Severus to a particular wall of the store, which contained most of the potions ingredients on your list.
Before you began weighing out the ingredients, you inspected them thoroughly. Some of the ingredients were an off color or dried wrong, so you began to measure them out carefully onto the scale, sorting out anything sub-par.
You looked up to see where Severus was, pulling yourself out of your trance. Severus was doing the exact same thing at a different scale. He had a notebook open, and it was cramped with writing so tightly the pages appeared almost black. He also began measuring out ingredients that weren't on the supply list.
He likes potions! You felt a bit excited at that revelation. Not many people were as enthusiastic as you at the skill, and you were hoping to find more like-minded wizards in the upper years.
You forced yourself to continue weighing your ingredients, but your heart began racing. For the first time since arriving, you were looking forward to starting up school. Would Severus be in your potions class? You definitely hoped so. Were there more students like him? What was the professor like? You wanted to ask Severus a thousand questions but he seemed very focused…and he wasn't very talkative.
You followed Severus out of the apothecary after purchasing your potions ingredients. “Where do I get robes?” You asked, suddenly feeling overwhelmed.
Severus gestured to a shop called Madam Malkin's. He opened his mouth to speak, but his head suddenly snapped in a different direction. “I…have to go,” he said abruptly. Your eyes followed him as he left, and he seemed to be joining a woman with dark hair. His mom?
You found your own mother inside the robes shop. Your mother was ordering custom robes (with god knows what money). Once inside, you got fitted for Hogwarts robes.
Now everything felt a little more real.
September
Kings Cross, Platform 9 ¾
September 1st came far too quickly. You had hardly managed to unpack your things at the house before having to be whisked away to boarding school. Your mother groggily apparated you to King's Cross before apparating back home to nurse off her hangover, leaving you to fend for yourself.
Running directly into the wall took a few minutes of courage, but once you saw a few other wizard families do it you managed. Your trunk was unusually heavy, due to your charm on it to fit everything you wanted into it. You hoped you wouldn't get into trouble for that.
The train was just like your mother had described. Large, red, and surrounded by countless children and teenagers. Everyone was busy chattering away at each other, to their friends or family members. There was the screech of several unhappy owls in their cages, nibbling at the bars restlessly.
You looked around the platform, hoping you might catch a glimpse of Severus. You found him easily, not only because he himself stood out, but he was speaking to a girl who most certainly did. She was a slender redhead, who was laughing and beaming up at him.
You tried to approach them, but the train whistle signified for everyone to board. You quickly rushed to the entrance to the cars alongside everyone else, but you were a bit slow and ended up behind an entire group of eleven year olds.
Finally, you made it onto the train car. You had to walk quite the distance looking for an empty seat, and you sighed in relief when you found Severus and that redhead girl. At least you could feel more comfortable somewhat begging to sit with them, instead of sitting awkwardly with a group of eleven year olds.
“U-um!” You looked through the compartment door. You thought this would be easier, but the moment Severus' eyes met yours, you froze.
Severus opened his mouth to speak, but he glanced at the red-haired girl, then back at you.
Oh no…is that his…?
The girl looked at you and gave you a bright smile. “Need a seat?” She scooted over on her side of the compartment, making room for you.
You exhaled in relief at the girl's kindness, then sat down. “Thank you, I've never done this before.”
Severus was still staring at you a bit through his limp hair, but then looked down at the worn-out bag in his lap.
“You've never rode the Hogwarts Express?” The girl asked, amazed. She beamed at Severus. “Is she the transfer student you were talking about, Sev?”
Severus looked like he wanted to vanish himself.
“I'm Lily. Lily Evans,” the girl introduced herself to you. “You're Y/N, right?”
You felt your body relax a bit. “Yeah–it seems Severus has already told you about me then.”
Severus wasn't looking at you.
You continued. “He was very helpful in Diagon Alley. I felt a bit lost.”
“Don't worry about it,” said Lily warmly. “I felt lost in my first year too. Sev's way more experienced with the Wizarding world. You're lucky you ran into him.”
Severus’ pale cheeks flushed pink, but he hunched over a book he pulled out of his bag and avoided eye contact.
“Are you…friends?” You asked, looking between them. You couldn't bring yourself to ask if she was his girlfriend.
“We live in the same area,” said Lily. “We've known each other since we were kids.”
Severus looked up briefly, but then returned to his book.
Lily nudged his shin with her shoe. “Come on Sev, sit up. You have all year to read.”
Severus slammed his book closed and sat upright, looking slightly annoyed. He looked out the window. “Fine, I suppose you wish to talk about Quidditch for Salazar knows how long. I will listen, but don't expect I'll add anything worthwhile.”
Lily's green eyes rolled to the ceiling. “He's been like this all summer.”
“Do you like potions?” You blurted out.
Severus froze and glanced at you sharply.
“I noticed at the apothecary, you had a notebook and you got ingredients not on the supply list,” you continued. “I really like potions too. All my classes are to prepare for the OWLS needed for Potioneer NEWTS…”
“You want to be a potioneer?” Severus blinked. He was completely interested in the conversation now, his original shyness vanishing like he'd been charmed.
“Is it that surprising?” You huffed.
“N-no! No it's just–” Severus was tripping over his words. He leaned back, crossing his arms. “Stable career.”
“That's Sev's aspiration,” said Lily. “You know…if he'd cut it out with those creepy spells.”
“They're not creepy!” Severus defended. “The Dark Arts are interesting, is all.”
“Sev please, you'll scare the new girl,” Lily protested.
The Dark Arts? That's probably what he meant by “real” magic.
Severus seemed unwilling to continue the conversation, picking up another one of his books and completely immersing himself in it. Lily on the other hand became your conversation partner for the duration of the train ride.
You learned all about her house, Gryffindor, and what her common room was like. You learned about the Gryffindor Quidditch team (but she seemed reluctant to drop particular names of players for some reason), their head of house, and all types of things they do for fun. Severus kept glancing up at Lily on occasion, but he added nothing to the conversation.
A woman at a trolley filled with sweets stopped by. You and Lily got some things at Lily's suggestion, such as pumpkin pasties, but Severus didn't even look up from his book. He almost shifted uncomfortably in his seat.
Lily broke her pumpkin pasty in half and held it out to him. “Here, Sev.”
Severus looked down at the confection being offered to him. “Sugary nonsense,” he said, returning to his book, although his cheeks were flushed slightly pink.
“Ugh! You've been so impossible!” Lily said, angrily taking a large chomp out of the pastry she had offered him. “Sweets don't make you a little kid, Sev.”
Severus didn't grace her with a response.
Your brows furrowed after witnessing that exchange, but you said nothing. Instead, you took a bite of the flaky pastry, the warm pumpkin filling tasting like cinnamon and sugar.
Lily and Severus eventually got up to change into their robes. You changed into yours, which was dull and gray like the eleven year olds on the train with you.
Severus looked different. His posture and mood seemed to lighten drastically once he was out of those old and frayed muggle clothing, instead sporting the emerald green and silver of Slytherin house. He immediately stuck his nose into a book, though, hunching over like an ink colored shrimp.
Hogwarts
Eventually, after what felt like forever, the train approached its destination. Hogwarts was even more glorious in person, the castle looking so much larger that you could have possibly imagined just from pictures. The Black Lake was gorgeous, the setting sun casting light across the water.
You were a bit lost on what to do once you stepped out onto the station. You began to have a slight panic, before Lily rushed over to you.
“Had to get my badge,” Lily said with a grin. She pointed to the badge on her chest that said “prefect”. “I volunteered to lead you to the castle.”
“You're a prefect?” You asked, following her to the waiting carriages.
You paused, your brows burrowing. “What are those?”
Lily blinked. “What are what?”
You pointed towards the rather odd looking skeletal horses with large bat wings that were in front of the carriages. “Those…things. Pulling the carriages."
Lily looked confused, then grinned. “Oh come on don't tease me. These carriages fly on their own.”
Something about this exchange unsettled you to your core.
You rode with Lily on the carriages to the school, then followed her inside. She led you to where the first years were gathered, where you were to wait to be sorted into your houses. You felt a bit awkward, a teenager amongst a little sea of first years.
A witch wearing a long robe and a large pointed hat appeared. After introducing herself as Professor McGonagall, she began giving a speech about the rules of Hogwarts. She also spoke about the sorting ceremony and the houses you could be sorted into. However, when she was done, she seemed to notice you in the back.
"Goodness, child, what on earth are you doing back there?" McGonagall said, motioning for you to approach her. Once you came closer, a realization seemed to hit her. "You're the new fifth year! Miss L/N, was it?"
You nodded. "Yes ma'am, Y/N L/N."
"Just follow the first years and we'll get you sorted," said McGonagall. She then began herding the first years down the hall, and you scurried after them. You were relieved at least one faculty member acknowledged your presence.
You were led down the hallway and eventually through large double doors. You instantly were brought to a hall filled with children of various ages, sectioned off into four colored sections to represent the houses. You were instructed to stand with the other first years at the front, the entire school watching you. You knew you stuck out tremendously, but you tried to remain calm.
McGonagall held a long parchment filled with a list of names. She called out one, and one of the first years stepped onto a stage at the front of the dining room. They sat down on a stool, and a large old and tattered hat was placed upon their head.
"Hufflepuff!" The hat shouted, startling you.
McGonagall flicked her wand, and the child's uniform changed to have yellow accents. The Hufflepuff badger appeared on their robe, and they went to sit down with a cheering group of their new fellow house members.
A few more children were called up. They were sorted into the other houses, their uniforms changing, and the corresponding house cheering and accepting them.
Then, your name was called. When everyone realized it was you, the room went so silent you could have heard a pin drop. You awkwardly approached the stool and sat down. It was easier, having your back turned to the crowd, but now with hundreds of eyes boring holes into you, you began to panic. Your heart beat so loudly you could feel it in your ears.
You searched the tables. At Gryffidor, Lily gave you a thumbs up. That made you give an awkward smile, and you looked towards the Slytherin table. Everyone was as solemn as a funeral, with Severus staring at you sharply. You made eye contact with him, and he looked away awkwardly. That immediately made you feel worse.
The heavy, old hat was placed on your head.
"Well you're certainly older than the usual," said the sorting hat's voice in your head. It was bizarre, to be certain. "But definitely not the first."
“There's been other transfers?” You asked the hat in your head.
"Quiet," the hat said. "Hmm…peculiar…you're intelligent and curious, and I sense a great deal of loyalty in you…you have a great deal of bravery coming all this way to a new country…"
You had closed your eyes, but opened them since the hat seemed to be taking its time. Everyone was still silently watching. McGonagall's brows were furrowed.
"Ah…I see. There it is…" The hat finally said.
You tensed. An image of your mother coming home drunk flashed through your mind, begging her to finish the potion you had waiting on the stove. The hours spent on the floor of your bedroom with books and books of potions open in front of you. Your mother's approval…you could see the smile on her face when she learned you too had been sorted into Ravenclaw.
"Slytherin!"
Your heart dropped to the floor. You felt sick to your stomach.
No…why?
McGonagall had a bit of a look of shock on her face, but then she removed the hat. "Goodness me, the hat took its time! I'm glad it's sorted out now, dear."
She flicked her wand and your uniform turned a green color, with the Slytherin snake appearing. There was a bit of applause from the Slytherins, but you could tell it wasn't as enthusiastic as it was for the first years.
No one at the Slytherin table moved to let you sit by them. The only open seat was in the far back corner accross from Severus.
You took your seat and stared at him. You still were in a little bit of shock.
“Guess you really like potions then,” Severus commented as you sat down.
You looked down at the food that had just materialized. “What's that got to do with anything?”
“This is the House of Ambition,” said Severus. “We're driven, goal-oriented sorts.” He pushed around the food on his plate like he was disinterested in wasting time on something as mundane as chewing.
Your brows furrowed. “Yes, well–” It was hard to argue with him, really. You were a bit single-minded when it came to your studies.
“Ambition doesn't mean you're any good,” Severus said, finally deciding to take a singular bite of his mashed potatoes.
Rude. “Excuse you, I always have top grades in potions,” you said with a huff as you stabbed into your roasted vegetables with a bit too much force.
“Grades…from a useless textbook,” Severus scoffed. “The potions instructions get more useless the higher the year.”
“Well that's because–” You stopped yourself from agreeing with him. “Never mind.” You decided to change the subject. “What's Slytherin like?”
“You could ask a prefect,” Severus mumbled.
“God forbid I want to hear what you have to say.”
Severus gave her a sharp look, then lowered his voice. “Don't…don't talk like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like…a muggle…” He muttered quickly.
The tone in his voice sounded a bit serious, so you fell silent. You finished eating your meal, not trying to push a conversation with Severus any further, then solemnly followed the Slytherin prefects down into your new dormitory.
The Slytherin dormitory was located in the dungeons. A large open window was under the Black Lake, showcasing the depth of the water below. The sun had set, so the water was black and eerie. The limited light from the fireplace didn't help the eerie feeling, but the Slytherins (save for the first years) seemed right at home.
A prefect showed you to your assigned bed in the girl's dormitory. Your trunk had already found its way there, and was sitting at the foot of the four poster bed. The bed was draped with emerald green, and the Slytherin emblem decorated the stone floor.
You sat down on the bed with an exhausted sigh, and finally pulled out your wand. You gave it a few swishes, and began to unpack your things.
The other girls in your room were speaking to each other, but not to you. You had noticed that most of the Slytherins, save for the prefects and Severus, had been avoidant and cautious of you. You figured it was the nature of the house or something to be wary, so you paid it no mind for now.
As you unpacked, thoughts swirled through your head. What would your mother think? Already you didn't have much in common, other than an (alleged) love for learning. Now you didn't even have a shared Hogwarts house with her.
Maybe I should send her an owl. Would she even want an owl?
You picked up your pajamas and went to the girl's bathroom to get ready for bed. You didn't even realize how tired you were until you climbed under the covers, and the lights dimmed. You closed your eyes and tried to sleep.
And thus began your time at Hogwarts.
You were certainly not prepared.
Chapter 2: Student
Chapter Text
Slytherin Dormitory
You got up extra early so you could take a long shower before breakfast. You got dressed in your uniform and did your hair just so, checking yourself in the mirror. You applied a few of the potions you had brewed to your face, then headed to the common room.
You had been taking good care of your appearance this past year or so. Third year was particularly difficult for you. You had become a teenager, and things about you were changing, yet for some reason that meant you were the target of bullying. You couldn't help that your hair was a mess, your skin wasn't clear, or the fact your clothes never looked right. You were poor, with a single mother who worked all the time. You didn't have the money or knowledge of the latest trends or at least for clothes that weren't thrifted.
It wasn't anything magic couldn't fix, though; charms for your clothing, developing potions to clear your skin and make your hair healthy and beautiful. It took a while for you to figure it out, though, practically your entire fourth year.
You felt disappointed that you didn't get to arrive back at Ilvermorny as practically a different person, but at least at Hogwarts you weren't going to get made fun of for your shabby appearance (hopefully, anyway).
You weren't sure how you felt about Slytherin green. You gave a final glance in the long mirror in the girl's bathroom, then rummaged around in your bag, looking for something. You pulled out a pink hair ribbon, which you tapped your wand and transfigured the color to green. Tying it in your hair, you decided that was the best you could do for now. You weren't sure how far you could push the dress code, but you weren't about to start breaking rules your first day.
Great Hall
You made your way up to the Great Hall for breakfast. You followed a group of Slytherins towards your table, but once again the only open seat was the one in the far back corner. Severus was already at the table, a half-eaten bowl of porridge in front of him while he had his nose in a book.
“Good morning Severus,” you said cheerfully.
Severus looked up, almost startled. He opened his mouth to say something, but seemingly changed his mind before turning his attention back to his book.
Well then. You served yourself some porridge and began to look over the parchment which held your class schedule. “Today we've got Transfiguration, Arithmancy, and double potions.” Your heart leaped at the last one in excitement. I wonder what the potions classroom looks like!
Severus scoffed, however. “Yes, with Gryffindor unfortunately.”
“Hm? Oh yeah, that's right! That means Lily's going to be in our class,” you said, taking a bite of porridge.
Severus opened his mouth, hesitated, then muttered, “other than her, they're rather incompetent.”
“An exploded cauldron that's not mine can be amusing,” you said with a mischievous grin.
“You don't want that,” Severus said quickly. “Last year, Pettigrew accidentally dumped an entire jar of bicorn horn into his pepper-up, sending half the Gryffindor to the hospital wing.” His mouth twitched. “...never mind, that was incredibly amusing.”
You covered your mouth with your hand, trying to hold back a laugh. “Are they okay?”
“Unfortunately,” Severus said, waving his hand dismissively.
Classrooms
You ended up following Severus to the Transfiguration classroom. He didn't say anything to you when he noticed you walking next to him, but he slowed his pace just enough so you wouldn't fall behind.
Severus mumbled something to you, which you didn't quite catch. You stepped onto a staircase, which suddenly began to move, knocking you over. You felt a slender hand grip your arm and yank you backwards before you toppled to your demise.
“I said to be careful!” Severus said a bit harshly. “Stupid girl, they move.”
“Stupid boy, speak up next time!” You snapped back. Severus’ eyes widened, but he said nothing in response. You continued to follow him to class.
You entered the Transfiguration classroom. You were a bit early, but some students had already arrived. There were a few Ravenclaws on one side of the room, poised and ready with their quills and notebooks.
Severus went to go sit down in the corner. He looked completely shocked when you took the seat next to him when you had your pick of seat anywhere else.
“Why…” Severus choked out. “Why are you sitting with me?”
Your heart jumped. “Um you don't want me to?”
“N-no it's not that just–” Severus looked confused.
“I can move–”
“No! I mean…no…you don't…you don't have to,” Severus muttered, opening the Transfiguration textbook like it was going to save him.
“Should I not want to sit with you?” You asked.
Severus’ leg began to bounce from under the desk. “I don't…um…know. Probably not.”
This awkward conversation ended when the rest of the students flooded into the classroom.
Turning a porcupine into a pincushion wasn't exactly your idea of practical Transfiguration, but you knew it was required skill. Severus’ approach seemed to be a very meticulous one. He kept checking his notes and re-checking them, circling the porcupine like he was a spider stalking its prey. Eventually when he did attempt the Transfiguration, he effortlessly succeeded.
You did well. You mostly were good at transfiguring inanimate objects, such as clothing, so the live animals proved a challenge for you, but nothing you couldn't overcome with focus and work.
The next class was Arithmancy. This was an elective, but a potioneer required this class in NEWT level, so you had to take it.
You once again sat down next to Severus. However, you immediately puked out your textbook and gave a groan.
“I hate this class,” you whimpered.
Severus opened his Arithmancy textbook which already was scribbled to hell with notes and symbols in the margins. It was clear it was already well-read and thoroughly studied. “Well that's because in class they never apply it practically. Honestly, how anyone ends up a cursebreaker out of Hogwarts is beyond me.”
He pulled out a notebook and opened it, revealing some kind of arithmancy chart. “Most spells can be broken down into numerical values. When you can figure that out, you can break curses on objects using formulas. You also can create spells this way.”
You blinked. “Create spells?”
“It's an extremely complex process and–”
The professor walked to the front of the class and began speaking. It was the most boring and sterile Ministry-approved lesson with a strict focus on magical numbers and memorizing formulas. Severus was taking meticulous notes, which made you feel self conscious.
You'd have to ask him for help with your homework later.
Courtyard
Finally! It was lunchtime. You were starving, and breakfast felt like ages ago. You followed behind Severus, who was walking a bit faster than he was earlier that morning. He kept glancing around with an air of paranoia.
“Um…are you okay?” You asked him.
“Oh Snivellus!”
Severus flinched and went completely rigid. He then kept walking faster, which made it hard for you to keep up.
“Severus–” You tried to ask him again, but you were interrupted.
“We haven't given you a proper welcome back to Hogwarts yet!”
Three boys dressed in Gryffindor uniforms surrounded Severus. You, who had begun to lag behind, weren't noticed right away by this group of boys.
The tallest was a handsome boy with black hair that framed his face. He had a wicked, impish grin as he circled Severus. The leader of the group seemed to be a boy with glasses and messy black hair, like he had just jumped right off of a broomstick. The smallest was a pudgy boy.
A fourth boy who looked reserved was standing a few places away, watching. He looked awkward, like he couldn't decide what to do in this situation.
“No thanks, some of us have OWLS to study for,” Severus said, annoyed.
“Aww, Snivelly thinks he's good enough to take the OWLS,” the tallest boy snickered.
“Yeah, they don't let boggarts take exams,” the boy with the glasses said.
You realized with a sinking feeling that these boys were not Severus’ friends.
Severus didn't even grace them with a response and tried to leave, but the boy with the glasses grabbed his arm. “Where are you going?” He grinned. “To go grease up a corner?”
“Somewhere much more productive than with you, Potter,” Severus said, unamused. He tried to yank his arm out of Potter's grasp, but the boy was clearly more athletic and stronger.
“We were going to lunch,” you said, deciding to take action. You had your hand near your wand, just in case.
“With this ghoul? You can do so much better, Evans–” Potter stopped when he caught sight of you. “Wait…you're not Evans.”
The tallest boy immediately began circling you with immense interest. “No…she's that transfer student.”
“Ah…so she doesn't know who old Snivellus is, hm?” Potter grinned. He let go of Severus roughly, shoving him to the ground. “The names’ James Potter.”
“Sirius Black,” said the tall boy.
The short boy just blinked, looking at James and Sirius like they were to be worshipped.
James kicked the boy in the shin. “Introduce yourself, you idiot.”
“Peter Pettigrew!” He squeaked. He reminded you of a rat for some reason.
James seemed to be waiting for someone. He turned towards the fourth boy and grimaced. Severus was trying to stand up, but James kicked him and held his shoe on Severus’ back to keep him down. “Well?”
“Come on, James, this isn't–”
“That’s Remus Lupin. A bit shy sometimes,” James grinned. “Now–what was your name again? Missed it, lost interest when you got sorted into the Snake Pit.”
“Get off him,” you said, your brows furrowed, not even entertaining the playful introductions.
James looked down at Severus. “But we're not done playing with him, you see.”
I can't hex someone my first day! You held back the urge to depulso James into the courtyard fountain. So instead, you kicked James in the shin that was stepping on Severus, then pulled the boy to standing.
“Ow! Bloody hell?!” James yelped, jumping back.
Sirius looked livid. “You bitch–” he growled, rapidly approaching you.
“Sirius!” Remus scolded him.
Severus roughly grabbed your wrist and yanked you into a run. He didn't stop until you had made it to the Great Hall, where he leaned up against the hallway wall and began panting.
“That's why…” He snarled. “That's why you shouldn't want to sit with me.”
You thought about it for a moment, then laughed. “Wait…because you're bullied?”
“I am not bullied!” Severus snapped, turning his head towards you. He looked slightly deranged, his hair half obscuring his face.
“Severus…” You kind of ignored him and pulled out your wand. You cast a quick charm on the dirt and grass stains that had appeared on his uniform from where James had stepped on him.
Severus didn't resist, but he looked embarrassed. “I'm not an infant, L/N, I can charm my own–”
“You had a footprint on your back!” You said, putting your wand back and walking into the Great Hall. Severus hesitated, then followed you.
Dungeons
Finally, potions. You had double potions that day, which excited you. It meant you were having a full lab, and were most likely going to brew something.
Unfortunately, you now knew why Severus was upset it was with Gryffindor.
James was already in the classroom, sitting at two of the brewing stations alongside his three friends. All four had what looked like brand new cauldrons, quite possibly a result of Peter's explosion last term.
Severus approached a brewing station near two Slytherin boys. One was tall, handsome, and a bit imposing with messy dark brown hair. The other was a bit snobby looking with light brown hair combed to the side, and his robes perfectly pressed. He had a prefect badge pinned to his uniform.
“Finally decide to greet us, Your Majesty?” The imposing boy said with a smirk.
“It's ‘Your Highness’, Dorian. ‘Majesty’ is reserved for–”
“Stop sounding like a prat, Reginald.”
The prefect looked humiliated. “I told you it's Avery!” He hissed.
You took your seat at the brewing station next to Severus and set your cauldron down with a bit of a thunk.
Severus looked at you, his dark eyes widening, and you could have sworn you saw him swallow.
Dorian's expression shifted to something predatory. “Well well well–the new American celebrity.”
“Celebrity?” You asked. “Is it really that–well, okay, they did sort me in front of the entire school, never mind.”
“Your name was…L/N, right?” Dorian said. “You a Mudblood?”
Severus slammed his hand on the brewing table.
“Rude,” you said. “And no, if you're curious, I'm a Half-Blood.”
“And your real family name?” Avery asked, his fingers laced together.
“You don't…have to answer that,” Severus said to you with an exhale. He glared at Dorian. “You'll get kicked off the Quidditch team if your grades plummet, Mulciber. You can't afford to waste your time worrying about students like her.”
“Well it's a good thing we're mates, then,” Dorian said with a grin.
You had many more questions, but the professor entered the classroom to start class.
Professor Slughorn was not anything like you'd imagine being Head of Slytherin, nor the potions master. He was a small, enormously fat balding man with a large silver mustache. He was not grouchy or unkind like most of the Slytherins you had encountered thus far. He was quite jovial, in fact.
Slughorn beamed when he caught sight of you. “My goodness! You do look so much like your mother,” he said, approaching you. He patted your shoulder. “Your grandmother was an incredibly talented potioneer. It seems it runs in the family, I saw your transcripts my dear girl.”
He glanced at Severus. “Oh good, Severus–do look after her in class, will you?”
“Yes, professor,” he muttered. His eyes trailed towards a group of Gryffindor girls who were around a brewing station. Lily was among them, but when she looked up, Severus looked back at his textbook.
Slughorn continued with addressing the class. "As all of you know, you will be taking the potions OWL at the end of the year. In order to continue with my NEWT level classes, you must obtain a grade of at least Exceeds Expectations…"
"Tch…it should be an Outstanding grade with how dangerous potions are," you heard Severus mutter to himself.
"Agreed, it's magic you have to ingest," you couldn't help but reply. "And the process itself is dangerous too."
“...despite the Pepper-Up potion not appearing on the OWL exam, a majority of you did not make passing grades due to the erm…” Slughorn glanced at Peter. “...incident. I believe a review session is in order, especially since this is our first day back. Besides, you'll want this handy in case you catch a nasty cold–missing class could harm your chances of an OWL!”
Severus immediately flipped open his potions book to Pepper-Up. It was scribbled with notes and corrections.
You opened your textbook. While you didn’t write in the margins, instead you made notes in a corresponding (muggle) notebook.
Severus was immediately interested and kept trying to glance at your notebook.
“Curious?” You grinned. “Only if you show me yours.”
Severus scoffed, but then he slowly began to slide his marked up textbook towards you.
“Oi Snape!” Dorian said, snapping his fingers. “The instructions.”
Severus snatched up his textbook from you and obediently handed it to Dorian.
“Thanks mate,” Dorian said, propping up Severus’ textbook on his brewing stand.
You slid your textbook towards Severus. “You can use mine.”
Severus snatched your notebook, not even glancing at the original textbook. His thick brows furrowed when he glanced at the writing. “What? You can't substitute American mandrake for European, they're a completely different species–”
“You can't in anti-petrification treatments, but you can use the fruit in pepper-up with an adjusted weight,” you said, pointing to the rest of your notes. “European potions ingredients are more expensive, so I've had to substitute.”
“Do you have any?” Severus asked curiously.
You rummaged through your bag of potions ingredients. “I think I have enough for a few batches.”
“Do they scream when harvested?” Severus asked, inspecting the dried pieces.
“No, the fruits are what's used,” you explained. “They only scream if re-potted or dug up, which isn't often. It's mostly foraged.”
“May I…?” Severus asked, with uncharacteristic politeness.
“Go ahead–I only use it for pepper-up anyway.” You waved your hand dismissively.
The two of you began to brew. You decided to brew using the traditional set of ingredients, while Severus was experimenting with yours.
“There's a lot of heat being generated,” Severus muttered, looking over your notes.
“You have to compensate with more liquid later,” you said as you added some powdered bicorn horn to your cauldron. “Add it with the jewelweed.”
“Never mind, I see that note here,” Severus said, bringing the notebook closer to his face. It seemed more of a habit than an issue with his eyesight, like he found comfort in being in a slightly closer than normal proximity to a book.
“Snape, I can't read this shit,” Dorian suddenly growled. “Your handwriting's–”
Severus glanced over at Dorian's cauldron. “Stir counterclockwise three times before you do the clockwise stirs.”
You blinked. “I never thought to do that.”
“It dissolves the bicorn horn faster, so it doesn't generate heat too quickly,” Severus replied. “...which you compensate by adding more liquid. But then it takes longer to evaporate to the right consistency.”
“I use a copper cauldron,” you explained.
“You…should have mentioned that!” Severus suddenly said, looking slightly panicked down at his pewter one.
“The base recipe is for pewter, it only adds a few minutes,” you said. “Recipe standard unless its a potion requiring silver is–”
“--designed for pewter,” Severus finished, the panic leaving him. He stirred his potion, it turning a lovely red color only a few minutes after yours.
You had been so immersed in brewing your potions that you didn't notice James and his friends open-mouth staring at you brewing so amiably alongside Severus.
“I see a few students are finished already!” Slughorn's voice boomed over the class. “Beautiful, Lily!” He said proudly. “Look at that clear red color!”
He waddled over to you and Severus’ station. “Oh my dear girl! What skill!” He beamed. He looked curiously into Severus’ cauldron. “That scent, Severus–my dear boy, what fascinating concoction did you make this time? It has a…fruity scent?” Slughorn inspected the potion closer. “It's has every property of a properly brewed pepper-up–”
“I was testing a mandrake substitute,” said Severus. “These are her notes, not mine.”
You showed Slughorn your notes. “European mandrake is expensive in America.”
Slughorn read through the notes, then beamed. “How resourceful of you! My goodness…what a brilliant girl. Have you tested this potion?”
“Oh yes, it works the same. Actually, the steam side effect is shorter,” you explained.
“Ten points to each of you for ingenuity!” Slughorn handed you back your notes. “It seems you might have a rival, Severus,” he said with a teasing smile before walking away.
Severus suddenly looked annoyed, and grabbed back his potions book from Mulciber, who was just finishing up his potion.
Luckily, Quidditch practice was immediately after class, so James and his friends did not target Snape with some kind of attack. Dorian also made his way to the Quidditch pitch. Severus, the moment he was let free from class, made a beeline for Lily. You decided to follow them into the dungeon hallway.
“You did good,” Severus said, his face flushed pink. “Your potions are always nice…”
“Oh please, you're the genius,” Lily said, waving her hand. When she saw you, she beamed. “Did Sev really brew from your instructions?”
“It was just some notes,” you said, a bit embarrassed.
“You developed a potion ingredient substitute using a completely different species of ingredient,” Severus said. He didn't seem capable of giving you a direct complement, though. “...you'll probably fail your Arithmancy OWL, unfortunately, so there goes your potioneer career.”
“Sev!” Lily snapped.
“You didn't see her mess of notes,” Severus said with a long sigh.
Classrooms
Defense Against the Dark Arts was mostly a lecture about Ministry jobs and realistic application of defensive spells. The OWLS sounded dull, and Severus looked like he wanted to tear his hair out. He did not take a single note. He kept glancing at Lily across the room, who was taking notes and focusing quietly like a good student. James kept throwing notes at her, trying to get her to look at him.
The professor, Thaddeus Morley (a rather average looking middle aged man in tweed dress robes who looked like he was plucked from a wizard office building), looked at you. “I am curious, what did they teach at Ilvermorny?”
“Our professor believed in practical demonstrations,” you said. “We did a lot of dueling. We also would go on field trips to ruins and go monster hunting.”
“Dueling?” Morley said, his eyes wide. “We may do some of that in class, but major house points will be taken if I catch anyone partaking in unsupervised dueling.” He glared directly at James. “And Merlin's beard, Miss L/N, we certainly won't be hunting any monsters. The Ministry has strict rules about such things. Now, about the OWLS…”
Slytherin Dormitory
Severus, unlike the previous times Lily was in class with you, did not make an immediate effort to find Lily. Instead, he followed you back to the Slytherin common room, like he was trying to get the courage to ask you something.
When you finally realized he was following you, you patted the seat on the couch next to you for him to sit. “You want to ask me something.”
Severus didn't sit down, clutching his book on dark arts close to his chest like a shield. “You…can duel?”
“Shouldn't everyone at least know the basics? How else will you defend yourself?” You said earnestly.
Severus finally sat down, but he was drawn into himself as if he was taking careful care not to touch you accidentally. “Ever since the Dark Lord has been openly opposing the Ministry, they've cut most Dark Arts from the curriculum, even if it's a common dueling spell. The most we learn is Expelliarmus.” He looked disgusted. Severus looked at you as if he was debating something, but he didn't express what he was thinking. Instead, he stood. “Break's almost over. Next class is magical creatures.”
Hogwarts Grounds
Care of Magical Creatures was an elective class, however it was required for the potioneering career. Several important potions ingredients were from magical creatures, and it was important to know how to safely harvest them.
Since it was an elective, the class was smaller than usual, and the houses were all mixed. Lily was in this class, speaking to a few friends from different houses. Severus immediately approached her and was hovering next to her, saying nothing.
Lily's friends looked uncomfortable the moment Severus approached, and fell awkward and silent.
You approached the group, pretending to be oblivious. “Hi Lily!” You said cheerfully.
“Hello!” Lily beamed. She looked between you and Severus, but she made no comment about it. “Professor Kettleburn is a bit odd but I think you'll like him,” she said quietly before the professor himself hobbled on his prosthetic leg in front of the class.
After the lesson, you decided to approach the professor. The other students were already making their way towards the castle.
“Professor?” You asked a bit nervously.
Kettleburn smiled. “Yes, Miss L/N?”
“I have a question…about a creature I saw,” you replied. “I thought maybe they were some kind of ghost or apparition, but I couldn't find anything in my Defense textbook.” Your brows furrowed. “What's pulling the carriages? The ones that take us to the castle from the station?”
Kettleburn dropped the bag of creature food he was holding onto the ground. A niffler fell out of his coat pocket and began stuffing itself with the spilled food. “Merlin's beard, my dear girl, are you saying you can see the thestrals?”
“Thestrals? The skeleton horse things? Is that what they're called?”
Kettleburn looked very concerned, and hobbled his way towards a messy stack of books. He found one under what looked like some kind of creature nest. He opened the book, which had the corner chewed by something, and showed you a page depicting an illustration of the skeletal winged horse you had seen. “No wonder you thought they were some kind of ghost–only people who have unfortunately seen death can see them. They're invisible to most.”
The heat of fire, smoke burning your throat, a scream–
You shook yourself out of the memory. “Yes…well…” You sighed. “That explains things. Thank you. Are they…dangerous?”
“Oh my, no! Not at all,” said Kettleburn. “They're carnivores, yes, but the ones on Hogwarts grounds are very friendly.”
“They like meat?” You took the book from his hands and began reading. “May I borrow this, Professor?”
“Of course! Actually, I have some more recommendations on thestrals from the library if you're interested.”
You obtained a list of books and a permission slip for the Restricted Section for one of the volumes from Kettleburn before turning to leave. You caught view of Severus, who had been watching you from behind a tree, but he quickly hid with a swish of his robes and turned heel for the castle.
Great Hall
You chased after Severus, who had taken a seat across from Avery and Dorian. You sat defiantly next to Severus, for some reason (you also had no idea where Lily was in the crowded hall).
“--and if you weren't so bad with a broom, I could have vouched for a position on the Quidditch team for–” Dorian cut himself off when you sat down. He then leaned forwards on his elbow on the table. “Well well well, if it isn't Miss Slytherin herself.”
“Am I really that famous?” You said. “It's only been a couple of days.”
“You've been following around the Half-Blood like a crup,” Avery said, poking at his sandwich like the mere concept of eating such lowly food offended him. “He imperio you?”
“Huh?” You blinked.
“Just…ignore them, L/N,” Severus said quickly. “They don't mean anything.”
“I'm confused–are these your friends or not?” You asked.
“They're…associates…” Severus muttered.
“We're mates, of course,” said Dorian. “Better friends for talent like him over the mudblood.”
Severus grimaced but said nothing.
“Most girls avoid Snape, though,” Avery pointed out. “He is a rather unwashed sort, isn't he?”
Severus looked humiliated, but he said nothing and just silently ate his food.
You were so confused. Does…anyone like Severus? Even Lily's friends seem to dislike him…
“Why would they avoid him?” You asked innocently.
“I don't see a reason why,” said Dorian. “Bloke's smarter than the entire year. Knows more curses than my dad, I think.”
Severus continued to say nothing.
“He is very smart, I liked brewing potions with him,” you said, smiling. You weren't technically speaking directly to him, but you really were.
Severus suddenly looked like he was going to combust.
“Well just so you know, I have priority getting help from Snape with the OWLS,” Dorian said.
“I can pass my own OWLS just fine, thanks,” you said. You stood up, your lunch half-eaten, suddenly not very hungry anymore.
Astronomy Tower
Astronomy had to be taken long after dinner, when the stars were out for observation. Something about the dark sky was calming. It was the same stars all the way in Scotland as they were in America. You wondered if your friends back at Ilvermorny were looking at the skies right then too.
You found yourself standing with Severus when you gazed at the stars. The confusion about the boy only made you more curious. Who was he, really? Why did he seem so complex?
The professor was giving a lecture about the placement of the stars and the importance of them. Severus was furiously taking notes with the lanterns that had been lit for the lecture phase of the class.
Severus seemed to be writing something unrelated, then kept writing as he walked out of the classroom. He almost tripped on one of the stairs before closing the notebook in his hand.
Slytherin Dormitory
You followed him back to the Slytherin common room. He took a seat in front of the fire and resumed writing.
“What's that?” You asked, sitting next to him.
Severus inhaled sharply and hid his notebook. “Nothing…”
You were going to say something, but a student approached you.
“Snape!” It was a boy you didn't recognize. He probably was from a younger year. He had black hair and was wearing a nice, well kept uniform. He looked familiar, but you couldn't place it.
Severus looked up with a scowl, but then his features softened slightly. “What is it, Black?” He asked.
Black…like that boy who's friends with Potter?
“Can you…help me with my homework?” The boy asked.
“Do I look like a tutoring service?” Severus said.
You looked at the boy. “Um…I can try to help you! What class is it?”
The boy's eyes widened, as if he had just noticed your presence (even though you had been sitting there the entire time). “You're the transfer student! So you really have been following Snape around!”
“My name is Y/N,” you said, trying to gain at least a bit of agency.
“I'm Regulus,” said the boy. He showed you his arithmancy assignment. “I'm trying to–”
Severus snatched the assignment from you and started looking over it. “Your calculation was wrong.” He brutally crossed out Regulus’ work and wrote new calculations. “There.”
“Thanks, Snape!” Regulus said, retreating quickly as if he feared he'd get hexed or something.
“I could have helped him,” you said with a huff.
“It would have been too slow,” said Severus. “I would have had to suffer his presence for longer.”
You paused for a moment. “Do you…want me to leave you alone, Severus?”
Severus looked up at you. “If you're going to be noisy and ask idiotic questions.” He looked down at his book again and began writing some more.
Feeling even more confused, you decided it was time for bed. You left the strange boy to his own devices and went to ponder the events of the day. Perhaps one day you would figure Severus out.
Or perhaps he might figure out you.
Chapter 3: Foal
Chapter Text
Library
The school week went by quickly. The Head Girl was not kidding when she said that they give you an obscene amount of homework for 5th year. You felt like you were drowning, and it was only the first week!
It was Saturday. You slept in a bit longer than usual, then decided to head to the library. You needed to take notes from some books for an essay you were writing, as well as check out those books on the thestrals.
You made your way to the library and gave your permission slip to the librarian. She retreated into the Restricted Section, which made you wonder why it was locked down so severely. What kind of books were kept there? Was it simply too graphic for the younger years, or were there genuinely books of advanced and horrific dark magic?
You looked at the book. It seemed to be a book about magical creatures regarding death and destruction. It was rather heavy, and covered with a thick layer of dust.
You wandered around the library, looking for the books you needed to take notes from, and settled down at a table.
“A Dark Magical Creatures book?”
Severus seemed to pop out of nowhere, startling you. He sat down across from you and slid the large book towards him. He wiped the dust off of the cover with his robe sleeve and inspected the spine, which had runes and a skull pressed into the leather.
“I think they're interesting,” you said simply, opening your books to start taking notes.
“You got a professor to give you a permission slip for the Restricted Section for casual reading.” Severus opened the book, his tone indicating he did not believe you. “Creatures of Death. How macabre of you.”
You didn't give him a response.
Severus’ curiosity was winning over whatever shyness or pride that was desperately holding him back. “What…are you looking for?”
His tone was softer. You looked up from your notes. “About…thestrals.”
Severus’ eyes widened.
“Yes, I can see them,” you said, becoming irritated before he even asked the question.
“Are you…scared of them?” Severus asked.
“Huh? No! Professor Kettleburn said they're gentle,” you replied. “I just want to know a little more about them since I'm one of few people here who can see them.”
“Do they…really look like that?”
Your heart squirmed in an odd way when Severus asked that question. The illustration of the thestral on the page flapped its bat-like wings. “Yes…they really do,” you confirmed. “I saw a mom and her baby by the Black Lake the other day.”
“A mum–?” Severus looked like he hadn't even considered the possibility there could be a mummy thestral.
He shifted in his seat. You knew he wanted to ask you about why you could see the thestrals, so you decided to change the topic. “Do you need these books for the Astronomy essay, Severus? I'll share them.”
“Oh, I suppose.” He pulled the book you were offering towards him. “I usually leave easy classes for last. Are you avoiding your Arithmancy homework?”
“N-no…I'm…it's…” You exhaled in defeat. “It's difficult…when it's not potions. And I don't have a copy of that chart you made. Which, by the way, where did you even find that?”
“I made it,” said Severus casually. “I read some more unassigned Arithmancy books from the uh…Restricted Section.”
“Potions hardly use advanced Arithmancy,” you said.
“I like spells best,” Severus admitted with a blush. “There's…a lot of brilliant wizards who are masters of spellwork. Mulciber and Avery's dads have this…” He paused. “…friend…who's brilliant. He's traveled all over the world and studied all kinds of magic.” His dark eyes showed a spark of unusual joy in them.
“Whoa…is he as strong as Dumbledore?”
Severus looked annoyed. “He's far more brilliant than Dumbledore. He's–”
“Dumbledore stopped Grindelwald!” You said, a little heated. “Of course he's–”
You had gained the librarian's ire by your outburst. Embarrassed, you lowered your tone. “Sorry…that was very uh…American of me. We have strong opinions of Grindelwald in the US.”
Severus’ face fell. “You don't like Dark Wizards?”
“I don't like torturing no-maj for no reason,” you said. “But–”
The librarian gave you another glare. Since you were finished with your notes but then, you closed the library books and levitated them back towards their proper shelves. You picked up the thestral book and notes and placed them all in your bag before exiting the library.
Courtyard
Severus was far too invested now. He followed you silently until you reached the courtyard. A handful of third years were playing gobstones in the corner.
“Severus…you've been shadowing me all week when we're not together in class,” you finally said. “If you were trying to be secretive about it, you're doing a poor job.”
Severus looked mortified. “N-no…I wasn't–it's not like that. I just…” He shifted uncomfortably where he stood and held his elbows with his long, pale fingers.
You felt a bit sorry for him. He quite possibly was the most socially awkward person you had ever met in your life–other than a younger version of you, of course. “You want to ask me something.”
“You were going to say something about…about Grindelwald.” Severus’ fingers tapped on his arm nervously.
“Oh…” You tried to remember what you were going to say. “Oh! I just was going to say that even though Grindelwald did a lot of awful things, if it wasn't for him Rappaport's Law might have never gotten repealed.”
“Rappaport's Law?” Severus asked. “What's that?”
“In America, it was illegal for a very long time for no-maj and wizards to intermarry or befriend them, and the laws against use of magic in no-maj areas was very strict. Grindelwald didn't like no-maj, but his rebellion made a lot of wizards look at our situation with the no-maj differently. The um…law wasn't repealed until 1965.” You did your best to explain.
Severus looked like he was formulating about a dozen questions.
“I was born in 1960.” You said quietly. “My dad wasn't a wizard. It's why I don't–why I don't know him. True Half-Bloods are, um, rare in America.”
“That's…” Severus exhaled, formulating what to say. “So you really do have a muggle parent. This isn't good.”
You made a face. “Why not?”
“Because…” Severus looked awkward. “Because of Slytherin house and its politics. If you had been in any other house you would have been fine. They already know you're Half-Blood just by your last name.” He looked stressed.
“Severus…are you a Half-Blood?”
“Oh no, because Snape is at the top of the list for the Sacred 28,” he replied sarcastically. “Of course I am. Cursed with a worthless muggle father.”
This seemed to be an extremely sore subject, so you said nothing.
“There's not many Half-Bloods in Slytherin,” he continued. “They'll target you if you keep…if you keep talking like some muggle.”
“I can't help where I grew up!” You said with a huff. “So the magic superiority thing is real?”
“Magic is superior,” Severus said sharply.
You felt awkward. You also felt like there were a lot of dynamics going on that you just fully didn't understand. Asking the Slytherins, though, felt dangerous. You had heard your mother briefly speak about pure blood supremacists, but you had no idea it was this bad.
“Snivellus!”
You felt some level of ironic relief hearing James’ voice, as you wouldn't have to continue this conversation with Severus at that moment.
Severus glanced up at the approaching Gryffindors, and he shrank into himself. “Leave,” he muttered at you.
You weren't going anywhere.
“Wow! Not Evans again!” James grinned. “Finally putting to rest your stalking habits or did you just find a replacement?”
“I'm not a–” Severus began to say.
“Nuh-uh!” James said, waving his wand and making Severus unable to speak with some kind of hex.
Severus glared at him but said nothing (he apparently couldn't).
“Knock it off,” you said sharply.
“Getting girls to defend you?” Sirius said with a laugh, poking his wand at Severus’ ribs.
It was stupid, but you grabbed the end of Sirius’ wand. Sirius was so shocked he yanked his wand and took a step back from Severus.
“You've only been here a week, so I guess you haven't gotten to know Snivellus all that well, hm?” James said to you after laughing at Sirius’ shock.
“Should I hate him?” You asked.
“Why wouldn't you? He's an unwashed little Death Eater in the making.” James looked down at you in disapproval. “Unless, of course, you're just like him.”
“Do you hate him because he's a Half-Blood?” You demanded.
James and Sirius both staggered for a moment.
“You're a Potter,” you continued, getting heated. “I know about your family. You're a pureblood family who got rich inventing some hair potion–which doesn't work half the time anyway–so you're so privileged and bored you get off on making fun of someone with non-magic blood!”
James was white in the face, but Sirius looked murderous. “James isn't like that!” Sirius yelled a bit too loudly. He pointed his wand at you. “Make a claim like that again and I'll–”
You can't fight him, you'll get detention…you kept repeating to yourself in your head to hold back the urge to pull out your wand.
Severus had already pulled out his wand, pointing it threateningly at Sirius. “You should really get better at non-verbal hexes, Potter,” he said as he looked at James. “That one only lasted a few seconds, although I doubt you'd master a spell like that anyway.”
“Gonna fight us, Snivelly?” James grinned, pulling out his wand.
Peter was standing safely behind the fountain and clapped his hands together excitedly. “Oooh! Yes! Defeat Snivellus in a duel!!”
Remus took a step back and said nothing.
James and Sirius had their wands pointed at Severus, but after a quiet few moments, they put their wands away. You looked behind Severus, and Avery had strode into the courtyard.
“Put your wands away, you two,” Avery commanded, making sure his prefect badge was very visible. “And you too, Snape, I don't want Slytherin losing house points.”
Severus put his wand away after muttering something foul.
James and his friends ran off from the courtyard, leaving you and the two Slytherins (and those third years who had stopped playing gobstones to watch the altercation between Severus and James).
“Should have let them hex you, then Gryffindor would have lost house points,” Avery said with a smirk.
“They did,” you said, but Severus looked humiliated.
“Shut up,” Severus said harshly before practically running away.
“He may be a Half-Blood, but he's tolerable,” Avery remarked. He looked at you curiously. “He seems to have taken an interest in you, which makes me curious as well.”
“We just like potions,” you replied simply.
“Well, you're a much better companion for him than that Evans girl,” Avery sighed, smoothing out his hair absent-mindedly.
“And why's that?” You wondered what could possibly be wrong with Lily. What is with this school?!
Avery scoffed. “Because she's a mudblood, of course.”
Hogwarts Grounds
There were so many things you spent the next few weeks thinking about. You didn't ask Severus about blood politics again, nor did you mention anything about having a non-magical parent. In your case, your father was a mythological figure who you had never met. But for Severus, he was very real and present in his life, but he had zero interest in talking about him. You even caught Severus writing a letter to his mom, but you didn't know the contents.
You and Severus spoke mostly about potions and homework. You soon found out that Severus was normally quiet unless it involved subjects he was extremely interested in. And if he was interested, it was hard to get him to stop. But he liked a lot of the same things as you, such as potions, so you ended up speaking with him for hours a few times and didn't even notice.
The bullying Severus suffered was horrendous. Severus was disliked by what seemed like the entire school, not just James and his friends. Even Dorian and Avery who seemed to tolerate Severus more treated him more like a pet than a friend. They wouldn't even stand up for him against James, unless Avery could get the Gryffindors in trouble for it.
You had gotten away unscathed from bullying. The Slytherin girls just seemed content avoiding you. The information that you were a Half-Blood seemed to shield you a bit from blood status discrimination, as no one was whispering “mudblood” at you. You felt a bit isolated, but at least you kind of had Severus. You tried to interact with Lily when you could, but Severus was usually taking up her time first.
After reading through the books from the library on the Thestrals, you had decided to try and look for them. You had smuggled out a bit of roast meat from dinner, and wandered out towards the lakeside to find them. The sun was setting, but it was a while before curfew.
There was a gentle breeze, which made the Black Lake's water lap against the shoreline. It was calming, and helped you sort all of these thoughts out in your mind.
The mother thestral and her baby were by the shore. They seemed to smell the meat, and warily approached you.
“Hello,” you said softly, waving at them. You weren't sure how intelligent they were, but you had heard that they prefer to approach people who they know could see them.
The mother thestral approached you cautiously, her baby behind her.
You tossed a piece of the roast meat on the ground. You did not want your fingers to get bitten off.
The mother thestral sniffed the meat, then ate it. You had tried to find the rarest slices of roast beef you could, as thestrals preferred their meat raw and were attracted to the scent of blood.
The mother nudged her baby towards you as you tossed another piece of meat forwards. The baby gulped it down in a single greedy bite.
“Feedin’ thestrals, are yeh? Don’ often see tha’, yeh don’.”
You flinched and looked up. A very large man with a huge brown beard had approached you. He was carrying a bunch of dead rabbits on some kind of string. Despite his wild appearance, size, and carrying dead animals, he had the kindest eyes you had ever seen. He was beaming down at you.
“I'm one of the only students who can see them,” you explained. “I just…wanted to say hello.”
The man grabbed a rabbit off of the string and tossed it towards the baby. It began ripping into the flesh and gave a rather adorable (yet horrifying) raspy coo.
“Oooh, yeh’re the American student!” The man said, recognizing you. “Bet yeh don’ see thestrals ev’ry day back in America, eh?”
“My name is Y/N L/N,” you said. “May I…feed them a rabbit?”
The man beamed and handed one of the dead rabbits to you. It was a morbid exchange, yet it felt weirdly normal. “Name’s Hagrid. Keeper o’ Keys an’ Grounds here at Hogwarts.”
You tossed a rabbit towards the mother thestral, who started tearing it apart almost regally.
Hagrid approached the mother and patted her on her side. She nuzzled him, like she was an ordinary horse. “Go on then—maybe she’ll let yeh give ’er a pat.”
You felt intimidated by this creature. You had never touched a horse, let alone one with a sharp mouth and a taste for blood.
Yet, when you stuck out your hand, all that happened was you felt the warm muzzle of the mother thestral. Despite her eyes being empty and white, you could tell there was no reason to fear her. You stepped closer, eventually placing a hand on her neck and gently petting her thin body.
The baby came up and head-butted your leg, sniffing the pocket of your sweater where you had stashed the roast meat in a napkin. It pulled the napkins out of your pocket, but cooed in disappointment when it found nothing.
“‘Ere yeh go,” Hagrid said, tossing another rabbit to the baby. “Hungry little feller, in’ he?”
You stayed with Hagrid and the thestrals until the bell sounded, signaling curfew. You vowed to visit the thestrals more often.
You wondered how easy it would be to find rodents or something to feed them inside the castle.
Slytherin Dormitory
Severus was sitting in the common room, writing in a rather old book. You peered over his shoulder, and when he noticed you, he flinched and pulled the book towards his chest.
“Advanced Potionmaking?” You remarked. “We won't be using that until year six.”
“You have a copy of it too,” Severus scoffed.
“More things we have in common,” you said. “Yours looks quite old, though.”
“It was my mother's,” Severus murmured. He closed the book and stashed it back into his bag. “Where were you?”
“I was…taking a walk,” you said cryptically. You did not need thestral girl added to the list of weird things about you.
Severus made a noise in response. It was clear he didn't believe you, but he didn't ask.
October
Dungeons
The days went by quickly, October creeping out of nowhere. OWL prep left you with next to no spare time. You began to miss your friends back home, and wrote them letters. Their responses kept you going, but it wasn't the same as having friends at school with you. Lily was so busy with school and her prefect duties, let alone being in another house, that you barely had the time to interact with her. What little time she had in classes, Severus attached to her immediately. You ended up speaking with her when doing idle tasks in Care of Magical Creatures class and learning a bit about her life that way.
You had begun to figure out that Severus had a massive crush on Lily. It was obvious from the beginning, now that you thought back on it, but after witnessing his behavior for a while you could confirm your suspicions.
This made things complicated. If Severus had a crush on a muggleborn, doesn't that directly contradict the beliefs of the Blood Supremacists? You thought perhaps Severus was simply pretending to have their views to survive in Slytherin house, but how he spoke about magic and seemed to want Dorian and Avery's approval made you think otherwise. Maybe Severus’ opinion was more like Grindelwald's philosophy, that Wizards no matter what their blood status were superior to muggles and should rule over them. You weren't sure, because frankly you were a bit too scared to ask. You had strong opinions, and you didn't want them to jeopardize the companionship you had with Severus, as it would leave you completely and utterly alone in Slytherin house.
Maybe I really do belong in this house.
You looked over at Severus. He was hunched over the potions book, furiously writing in the already full margins. You wondered why he kept writing in the books themselves. Was he genuinely making corrections? You always made them in your notebook. Maybe it was just a difference of style.
Severus looked up. “Any reason you're staring at me? I doubt you need the instructions.”
“I'm just thinking,” you replied, turning your attention back to your cauldron.
“When staring at me?” He sounded unsure of what to make of your statement.
“I…” You couldn't formulate a response.
Severus’ left hand, which was resting on his open textbook, trembled slightly and clenched into a fist. You could hear his bitten nails scrape on the paper. “Go ahead and say it, then.”
“Say what, Severus?”
Severus never responded to you, because Slughorn interrupted.
“Perfect potions as always–ten points to Slytherin!” He beamed. “My dear girl, there is something I want to speak to you about after class–and you too, Severus.”
Severus looked like he was trying to not roll his eyes. He stared very intently into his cauldron.
As soon as the last students left, Slughorn kept you and Severus behind. “I'm planning on hosting a dinner party this weekend, and I would be delighted if you would attend.”
“A party? I'm not much for–” You began to say.
“Oh nonsense! You'd be with other brilliant potioneers like yourself,” said Slughorn. “It's a fantastic opportunity to make connections, or at least open your mind about the skill.”
Slughorn turned to Severus, who looked like he was trying to formulate an escape. “I do hope you'll attend this time.”
“I…” Severus looked at you like a helpless crup. “I'll think about it.”
Slughorn gave you both an invitation, which you took back to the common room.
Slytherin Dormitory
The dorms were usually empty at this time of the afternoon, since most people didn't bother to return to the common room until it was almost time for dinner. You sat down on the couch, but Severus stood up, looking rigid.
“I won't go, so you don't have to be seen with me,” Severus said quietly.
“What?” You were confused.
“I…that dinner party. It's a part of this…idiotic Slug Club Slughorn tries to recruit people into. Lily…she's in it. She'll probably be there. The most talented and popular people at Hogwarts are in that club.” Severus stared at the fire in the fireplace as he fiddled with his robe sleeve.
You stood up. “So what? You're really talented!”
Severus’ expression turned a bit angry. “I know you were thinking it, when you were staring at me in class.”
“Thinking what?”
“Don't…” Severus flinched and turned towards you, his voice raising slightly. “Don't act innocent! You're going to make fun of my nose or hair–”
You were a bit stunned. “What?! No! I wasn't thinking about that, you idiot! I was thinking about Slytherin house and how we're…” You lowered your voice. “The same.”
Severus’ expression immediately relaxed. “Oh…” His shoulders dropped and he looked at the fire. “That…makes sense.”
There was a long pause.
“I don't have anything to wear to those stupid parties,” Severus muttered. “And I'm an embarrassment to–” Lily.
You exhaled. “Let me see.”
“Huh?”
“Let me see your clothes,” you said.
“Wh-what?”
You rolled your eyes. “The clothes you brought. There has to be something you can wear.”
“There really isn't–”
After a small back and forth, you somehow bullied Severus into taking you into his dorm room. It felt odd, walking into the boy's dorm, yet there were no magical protections against you doing so.
Severus opened his chest and pulled out rumpled muggle clothing which he tossed on the bed.
“You don't have robes?” You asked.
“Of course not,” he snapped. He looked so irritated, like you were prodding a wound he had desperately tried to keep hidden.
You picked up a black dress shirt. It was faded, and had mis-matched buttons. “Hmm…” You began to formulate a plan in your mind.
You pulled a sketchbook out of your bag and began to sketch out some of the pieces of clothing he had.
“What are you doing?” Severus demanded.
You closed your sketchbook. “I have an idea. I could transfigure robes for you out of your clothes.”
“You can…do that kind of magic?” Severus’ eyes widened.
“Of course I can,” you scoffed. “Its easier if the new clothing looks similar to the original piece, though. It's not like I'm constructing brand new robes–which I can make! It just takes a long time.”
“You're wasting your magical skill on…clothes?” Severus asked, bewhildered.
“Why is looking nice a waste?” You asked. You exited the boy's dorm and returned to the common room.
“You could be inventing…I don't know…something,” Severus said, following you with some level of distress. “Also…don't…put too many colors. I'd prefer to dress in black.”
You sat down on the couch and opened the sketchbook again. You began to sketch out a set of basic robes that looked similar to the dress shirt. “How is this? I'll change the color of your uniform pants and shoes to match.”
“How about a cloak?” Severus asked, almost reluctant to show his excitement.
“I think if we take your uniform cloak and change it a bit, it will work. We can transfigure it back to normal after the dinner,” you said, making some more drawings.
Severus finally took the seat on the couch next to you and watched you for a moment, before he leaned away from you and looked at the fire. “Why are you doing this?”
You looked up. “I want to.”
“That's not a reason. Do you want something? You don't need me to do your homework for you, even in Arithmancy. You'll pass without my help.”
“You…said you didn't have anything to wear, so I wanted to help,” you said truthfully.
“Are you a Hufflepuff?” Severus crossed his arms.
What's wrong with Hufflepuff? “I…know what it's like,” you said quietly. “To not have anything to wear.”
“Oh.”
You didn't have to elaborate. Severus could already put the pieces together without you dredging up every bit of your history. The reason why you were so good at transfiguring clothing was that you had no choice.
“I once had this mustard yellow sweater that was the ugliest thing on the planet,” you said, trying to fill the awkward silence. “I think I was in third year. Someone had poured juice on it. I tried to use charms on it to fix it, but it made the stain even worse. I then tried transfiguring it, but it just turned into a ball of yarn that hissed at me and ran away.”
Severus made a face that was dangerously close to amusement.
“I don't know if the yarn creature is still alive,” you said with a shrug. “Never found it.”
“Your magical mishaps are…amusing…” Severus admitted.
You finished sketching out the basic design. “It's almost dinner. If you give me the clothes I need except for your uniform, I can work on it the next few days. The hardest part will be making sure it fits you properly so you'll have to wear it while I adjust.”
Severus made a face. “And risk you transfiguring me into a yarn monster?”
You laughed. “I haven't done that yet.”
Great Hall
It was meat pie for dinner, with mashed potatoes and roasted vegetables, covered with dark gravy. Pumpkin juice was served with your meals in this season. As per usual, Severus hardly ate much of anything, and liked to read at the table instead of suffering human contact.
The treacle tart was a new type of dessert you hadn't come across in America. It was a pie shell, filled with some kind of sugary, dense filling, which you topped with a creamy liquid custard.
“Ugh, how can you eat this?” Avery complained, shoving the tart away from him. He and Dorian were seated near Severus at the Slytherin table.
“Not all of us have the money for house elves that meet your standards,” Dorian said, taking a large bite of the tart. “I don't see what's wrong with it.”
“I've never had food quite this good,” you admitted sheepishly.
“Merlin–is American fare that bad?” Avery gasped.
“My mom's not…much of a cook,” you sighed. “Even with magic. Ilvermorny's food was okay I suppose.”
“What was it like?” Avery asked. He looked a bit sheepish that he had asked the question, as if he was at war between his curiosity and disdain for what he considered beneath him.
“Well, we didn't have food served to us on serving dishes,” you said. “We had a cafeteria. You would line up with a tray and you would serve yourself whatever was being made that day. Then you'd go and sit with your house table, but it really didn't matter as much. The food was…decent, but on the days it was bad…oh no.”
Severus snorted back a laugh but hid it behind his book.
“What?” You demanded, your cheeks turning pink.
“You are quite animated about the quality of school food,” Severus said with what looked like the ghost of a smirk.
You were about to reply, when something splashed into Severus’ pumpkin juice, splashing you, him, and Avery with it.
Avery immediately jumped up and began saying curse words you had never even heard of.
“Sit down,” Dorian said, grabbing Avery. “You're just giving them what they want.”
James, Sirius, and Peter were all doubled over laughing at the Gryffindor table.
Severus dumped out the cup, revealing a tiny golden ball. His eyes were wide as he froze, staring at the item.
Dorian immediately grabbed the ball and looked furious. “Nicked this, did you Potter? Think that's funny, Potter? Getting pumpkin juice all over the bloody snitch?! When Slytherin has practice tomorrow?!”
“Ooooh just use a cleaning charm on it,” James yelled from across the room.
Dorian slammed his hand and the snitch onto the table.
“I can clean it–” You tried to offer.
“No! You can't,” Dorian said angrily. “This thing is resistant to most charms, and all maintenance has to go through faculty as to prevent tampering.” He looked stressed. “It will take days to fix this, it's our last working snitch.”
“The last one flew out of bounds into the whomping willow and you can imagine how that went,” Avery said. He paused, then looked at you a bit pathetically. “Can you um…clean up the juice off me?”
You tapped your wand on his clothes, the table, and yourself. “Better?”
Avery nodded. “Ugh…that was atrocious.”
You held your wand out towards Severus. “Hm?”
Severus flinched backwards and pulled out his own wand, quickly vanishing the juice from himself. “I don't need your pity.”
Why is it always one step forward, two steps back with him? “It's not pity…it's just annoying to have to sit in pumpkin juice.”
Severus said nothing and looked like he wanted to vanish into the floor.
Chapter 4: Vanilla Cream Cake
Chapter Text
Slytherin Dormitory
“Hold still!”
“I am still!”
“You keep moving every time I try to put the fabric in place.”
“Do you have to touch me?!”
“Yes!!”
You put down your wand, exasperated. “There–how does it feel?”
Severus moved his arms around. “It's…acceptable.”
Somehow you miraculously found time to transfigure Severus’ robes. You got lucky, and a Slytherin quidditch match was on Friday afternoon, so the entire common room was empty, leaving a space for you to fit Severus without an audience.
“Do you want me to do your hair tomorrow?” You offered without thinking.
Severus froze, and instinctively raised a hand to his head. “No! No…don't. No need. It…nothing will work,” he muttered.
“Ah…it's all right, Severus. I meant nothing by it,” you said. “It's just I've gotten quite good at managing hair, is all.”
Severus’ shoulders relaxed. “You're not making fun of me?”
“No!” You exhaled. “I'll never make fun of you! Not for things you can't help at least.”
“What a Slytherin thing to say, leaving a backdoor open for yourself,” Severus said, but his tiny smirk suggested he may have been teasing you.
The next day, you and Severus focused on your homework–well, tried to focus. Severus was so jittery he kept pacing around the common room aimlessly, wandered around the dungeon halls, and even laid in his bed twice.
Finally the time to get ready was upon you. You got ready in a little over an hour, taking a shower and did your makeup. You had one of the sets of robes you brought (not your nicest set, but pretty. You didn't want to overdress to the occasion). It was black and white, an intentional design choice, so you could change the colors as you saw fit. Deciding to match Severus a bit (so he wasn't the only attendee looking like a dementor), you changed the white to Slytherin green.
You waited in the common room. Severus was taking a bit to get ready, but he finally emerged. You gave him a wide smile of encouragement.
His hair was still damp, but it had been combed straight. His skin was red in patches, and his face flushed from how hot and long his shower must have been. He looked very nice in the robes you made him. The top of the robes were form-fitted with long sleeves, the bottom in sections and flowed loosely around his legs. He slung his cloak over his shoulders, which you had transfigured from his uniform like you promised.
“You look so nice!” You said after inspecting him.
“Don't lie,” Severus lamented, his posture already hunching over as he withdrew into his cloak. He glanced at you. “You look…acceptable.”
“Thank you,” you beamed. “Now shall we go? I'd hate to be late.”
Slughorn's Office
You arrived early, alongside Severus. You waited outside the office door, feeling slightly self conscious. Severus had a straight face, but his pale hands were trembling.
“It will be fine,” you couldn't help but say, placing a hand on his upper arm.
Severus flinched hard like you had burned him. He stared at you briefly, then relaxed. “It will be awful. I shouldn't have come. Now I have to suffer–”
He cut off when some students arrived. You didn't recognize any of them, so they must have been from other houses. Lily was behind the group, and when she came into view, Severus looked like he was about to collapse.
“Severus,” you said gently, touching his arm again. He let you this time, seemingly sedated by Lily's presence. “We need to sit down.”
Severus shook himself out of his nervous trance. “Right.”
Slughorn had produced a large round table, which was filled with many luxurious and high quality dishes. He even offered wine.
Lily took a seat next to Severus. You in turn took the seat on his other side. Severus was perfectly still.
“You're finally here Sev!” Lily said with a wide smile. She leaned over to look at you. “He usually doesn't show up to club meetings.”
“I–” Severus tried to choke out words but he couldn't form any.
“I convinced him,” you replied.
“You did a better job than me,” Lily replied.
Slughorn finally sat down at the head of the table. “Welcome back, my very best students,” he said with a smile. “And welcome to our newest club member, Miss Y/N L/N! For those of you who haven't had the pleasure of seeing her work, she is quite the potions talent!”
You had absolutely no idea how to react. “Oh um…thank you, sir.”
Everyone at the table looked at you, but mostly out of curiosity. You knew you were the transfer Slytherin, but now Slughorn's new favorite was being added to the list of gossip topics.
Maybe Severus was right. Maybe you shouldn't have come.
“Glad to see you here, my boy,” Slughorn said to Severus. “It was quite the ordeal to get you to come last year.”
“Yes well…” Severus swallowed.
“Ah, no matter!” Slughorn said gleefully. “Please enjoy the meal! And do have some wine.”
After the meal, everyone was expected to sort of linger and talk while Slughorn went around the room to speak to people. You had pumpkin juice in your glass, and stood primarily next to Severus as you scanned the room.
A realization dawned on you. You and Severus were the only Slytherin in the Slug Club.
Avery is from a rich family…wouldn't Slughorn want to invite someone like him? Your thoughts were swirling in your head.
Lily approached you and Severus. “You're surviving!” She said, smiling at him.
“I…I'm…” Severus was bright red. He couldn't even make eye contact with her green eyes.
“Where did you get those robes?” Lily asked. “I didn't know you had any.”
Severus looked absolutely panicked.
“I made them!” You blurted out.
“You made them?” Lily asked, surprised.
“Yes, I transfigured some of his clothing into robes,” you explained. “I wanted to–”
Severus, unable to handle the conversation any longer, abruptly left the two girls and went to speak with Slughorn. Lily looked puzzled, then sighed.
“He's been so hard to read,” she lamented. “He gets offended now at the smallest thing. We used to spend so much time together but now we…hardly can find much to talk about that doesn't end in a fight.” She looked apologetic. “Sorry, didn't mean to dump that on you.”
You shook your head. “No, don't worry about it.”
“So um…oh! Next weekend is the first Hogsmeade weekend,” Lily said, changing the subject. “You haven't been, have you?”
You shook your head. “No, not unless you count the train station.”
“You should come with me and my friends,” Lily offered. “We'll show you all the best places.”
“Okay! What sort of stuff is at Hogsmeade anyway?”
Lily went into an explanation, excitedly telling you about all sorts of places she and her friends liked to go. She was a lot more animated speaking to you than she was with Severus, it seemed.
Something in their friendship seemed strained. Was it Severus’ crush making him act strangely? Was Lily aware of how he felt? Or did the strain have something to do with Slytherin house politics? You didn't know, but you certainly intended to find out.
Hogsmeade
You felt a bit guilty leaving Severus alone on Hogsmeade weekend. He didn't seem like he intended on going (in fact, he even insulted the concept and dismissed it as juvenile), but you were beginning to figure out that Severus said a lot of things he didn't mean. You'd have to invite him next time, once you actually knew your way around.
You actually got to wear your casual clothing for once. You didn't care that it was muggle clothes–you looked cute and people would have to deal with it. You wore a warm sweater, warm stockings, a long plaid skirt, and a matching scarf. You arrived at Hogwarts’ gate which led to Hogsmeade. Your mom had signed your permission slip over owl, since she had forgotten to do it before you left for school.
Lily was waiting with two girls–one with dark red hair, the other with honey blonde curls.
“Are you ready?” Lily asked with a grin.
“I think so!” You replied.
“These are my friends,” Lily said, gesturing to the girls with her.
“I'm Mary,” said the blonde. She had the most friendly smile, and was wearing one of the Hufflepuff uniform scarves.
“Marlene,” said the redhead. She looked unamused and glanced at Lily. “Isn't she the transfer that is always with Severus?”
“That's because she's a Slytherin,” Lily defended. “Nothing else.”
“I'm not dating him, if that's what you mean,” you said, a bit confused.
All three girls stared at you.
You felt self conscious. “Is that not…what you were talking about?”
Lily began laughing. “Oh! No…it's not. Don't worry about it.”
“Some Slytherins aren't nice people,” said Marlene. “Not the kind you want to hang around…Severus included.”
“Sev isn't like that! He's just…” Lily sighed. “Come on, let's go before they sell out of something at Honeyduke's.”
The cobblestone streets of Hogsmeade were already bustling when you passed through the gates, your breath curling white in the crisp October air. The village looked straight from a storybook—steep-roofed cottages with crooked chimneys, their windows glowing amber against the gray sky, smoke rising in swirls that carried the scent of smoke and roasted nuts. Clusters of students spilled into the lanes, wearing warm coats and robes and scarves in their house colors. Their laughter mingled with the chime of shop bells and the occasional whoosh of an owl overhead. Pumpkins the size of cauldrons were propped outside doorways, some carved with grinning faces that flickered with enchanted candles, reminding you that Halloween was only weeks away.
The bell above Honeyduke's jingled as the four of you stepped inside. You were immediately hit with warmth and the sweet, sugary scent of chocolate. Shelves were stacked high with every type of sweet imaginable. It was dizzying, trying to take it all in.
Mary darted towards a display of fizzing wizzbees. “These are my favorites! Have you ever had one, Y/N?”
You shook your head. “No…I didn't really grow up with wizard sweets. At least not these ones.”
Deciding to try one, you placed the sweet into your shopping bag and wandered around the store. You found a giant display of chocolate frogs, complete with all the possible cards you could obtain. Next to it were peppermint toads--apparently there were multiple frog-related confections.
Maybe I should buy something for Severus. You looked around, trying to figure out if there was something he liked. Giving up, you went to Lily.
“Um…Lily?”
Lily was putting some candy into her bag. “Hm?”
“What um…do you know what candy um…Severus likes?” You felt your face growing hot. Why did this question suddenly feel so…personal?
“Oh! He…” Lily tilted her head in thought. “Well…he doesn't really eat much candy. I don't think his family has much money, and any extra money he does have he usually spends on potions ingredients.” Her expression softened, but there was a trace of pity in her voice. “He doesn't come to Hogsmeade much.”
This answer made you doubly as determined to buy something for Severus now. What would he like? You could start by ruling out things he probably wouldn't be impressed by. The candies with magical gimmicks were most likely off the table, such as the charmed chocolate frogs or the fizzing wizzbees. The every flavor beans may have been fun for children, but were a bit of an annoyance for someone older who just wanted something sweet.
You decided to get a few sugar quills, a vanilla cream cauldron, and some fudge. It was all a safe guess, but you felt it was good enough. For yourself (on top of the fizzing whizzbee) you also got peppermint toads, a chocolate frog, some kind of caramel apple lollipop, and a cauldron cake. You had no idea how you were going to eat all of this yourself, and hoped Severus really did want some of it.
You’d just stepped out of Honeyduke’s when a loud pop echoed down the street. A flash of bright pink smoke billowed in front of Zonko’s, sending a group of third years shrieking with laughter as they spilled out the front door.
“Oh Merlin,” Marlene gave a long sigh. “They’re at it again.”
Sure enough, James Potter and Sirius Black stood in the middle of the chaos. They had set off several fireworks off in the middle of the store, filled with pink-colored smoke. The two boys were promptly removed from the store by the shopkeeper, Remus and Peter chasing after them.
“Potter!” Lily cried out, her hands on her hips as she approached him. “You're Quidditch Captain this year! You can't be acting like this! You're making Gryffindor look awful! We're sorely losing the House Cup, thanks to you!”
James turned at once, his smile widening like he’d been waiting all day for her to appear. “Evans! Just the girl I wanted to see. What do you think—too much pink? I told Sirius blue would be better.” He clutched his hand to his chest. “Oh Lily Evans!” He dropped to his knees. “Will you come to my Quidditch match and cheer for me next Saturday? We're playing those villainous Slytherins, and I desperately need a pretty girl to cheer me on!”
“As if I'd go out with the likes of you!” Lily snapped, although the way she fought her grin betrayed her.
“Leave her alone, you idiot,” Marlene said with a huff.
“Careful,” James replied smoothly, eyes still locked on Lily. “Some people think idiots are rather dashing.” He gave her a wink, and to your surprise Lily blushed scarlet.
James’ face fell when he caught glimpse of you, but then an even wider grin split across his face. “Merlin! If it isn't Snivelly's little guard snake!” He looked pathetically at Lily. “Your little friend here nearly crippled me for life! She kicked me so hard for no reason!”
“You were crushing Severus!” You said angrily.
“Awww that's very cute! You want to protect vermin from getting squished,” James laughed.
“I don't like her,” Sirius snarled, giving you a nasty glare.
“Come now, Sirius!” James said. “You're lucky I'm such a forgiving soul, you know. Otherwise I'd have to duel you right here in the street.”
“I'm confused, do you like Lily or not?” You asked bluntly.
James looked a bit taken aback. “You don't have to say it like that, L/N.”
“If you do then why are you beating up her friend?” You asked. “You're doing a terrible job at–”
“Come on, Y/N…let's not give him any more attention,” Lily said, starting to walk away.
“Oh please Evans–let me buy you and your friends Butterbeer,” James practically groveled. “Please!”
Lily contemplated for a moment. “Fine–fine. But you're buying for all four of us.”
“Oh Merlin! You truly are merciful!” James cried out.
Remus looked very embarrassed by the display. Peter was staring blankly at James as per usual.
Sitting at the Three Broomsticks for the first time at a table across from James Potter and his friends was not how you imagined this day would end. But here you were, drinking butterbeer that had been given to you by Severus’ nemesis.
The butterbeer tasted like betrayal.
Lily and James had already drifted into a lively debate about Quidditch, Marlene and Mary retreating to another table with matching looks of disdain. You might have joined them, but leaving Lily alone with James felt wrong. Still, she seemed completely caught up in the conversation, which left you facing Sirius. He lounged across from you, butterbeer in hand, eyes sharp with interest.
“So…” he said, “why do you hang around Snape?”
His tone was almost casual. Come to think of it, this was the first time he’d spoken to you without a sneer.
“He’s my classmate. I like talking to him,” you answered simply.
Sirius smirked over the rim of his mug. “I don’t buy it. Nobody willingly spends time with an ugly git like Snape.”
“He’s not ugly,” you blurted before you could stop yourself. Heat rushed to your cheeks. “Honestly, what is wrong with all of you?”
Sirius made a face. “You’re too nice. They’ll eat you alive.”
“Who will?”
“The Death Eaters,” Remus cut in, his voice quieter but laced with concern.
“Severus isn’t a Death Eater,” you snapped, more defensively than you intended.
“Not yet,” Sirius said flatly. “But he will be. All the Slytherins before him ended up there, like Malfoy and my dear deranged cousin. It’s only a matter of time.”
“He doesn’t hate Muggles,” you protested, but the words felt weak.
“Doesn’t matter. He’s obsessed with the Dark Arts, and the Death Eaters will feed that—stroke his ego, make him feel powerful. By sixth year, he’ll be ready. Seventh, he’ll be branded. You’ll see.”
Your butterbeer suddenly tasted flat. “You sound awfully sure.”
James had half-turned from his conversation with Lily, but Sirius waved him off. “Don’t worry, James. I’ll explain.” He combed a hand through his black hair and looked at you with something more serious than you’d ever seen on his face. “My family are all pureblood fanatics. Generations of Slytherins who think their blood makes them gods. I grew up watching it—watching how they pull people in. My cousin already had her claws in Snape first year. He’s not innocent. He’s already theirs.”
You began to feel ill. Was it the words or the overly sweet butterbeer? You didn't know.
“Sev's not evil,” Lily defended, finally speaking.
Relief washed over you. With Lily stepping in, you felt less like a lunatic trying to pet a pit viper and more like someone who’d scooped up a half-drowned kitten from the gutter.
“Why do you keep defending him?” James said with exasperation. “That ugly, unwashed boggart?”
“I will hex you!” Lilly protested.
“Give it a few months,” Sirius said. “Ol’ Snivellus will drive her away too.”
Peter added nothing to the conversation and just silently sat there with his butterbeer. He was almost like an accessory, which was a tad unsettling.
The meeting did not go on for too much longer, as Lily was fed up enough with James that she gathered her friends and left. You were still reeling from the conversation you had with Sirius. Was that why they bullied Severus so much? Was he really as nasty as they said he was?
Slytherin Dormitory
Severus was curled up in the common room in his usual spot, a chair with a side table and a lamp. He was wearing his uniform, but his tie was undone, and he was in socks.
“Severus,” you said in a soft voice, “I'm back.”
Severus looked up from his book, the scratch of his quill coming to a halt as he looked up at you. “I see by that ridiculously oversized Honeyduke's bag you went to Hogsmeade.”
You sat down in a chair next to his, the side table between you. “I have something for you.”
Severus had a blank expression, but his eyes betrayed some slight interest.
“I wasn't sure what you liked but…” You pulled out the sweets you had bought for him. “I thought I'd–”
Severus just stared at you. “What do you want from me?”
“For you to eat this,” you said, pushing the vanilla cream cauldron cake across the table. You pulled out more sweets and placed them on the table.
“I don't need–” Severus began to protest.
“I bought too much so you're just helping me finish,” you lied.
Severus opened the cauldron cake packaging like it was a volatile potions ingredient. He then took a cautious bite, his hair falling in curtains around his face as if hiding him from the shame of indulging in a sweet treat.
“Do you like it?” You asked quietly.
Severus was silent for a few moments, then reached for the fudge. “I suppose…it's all right.”
“Snape?”
Severus twitched, a murderous intent filling his dark eyes at being interrupted. “Yes, Black?”
Regulus was holding what looked like homework. “I don't want to bother you but–”
“Are you that braindead? Wait, you must be, considering who your brother is.” Severus’ tone was vile.
“I am not that worthless traitor!” Regulus cried out, his voice raising a bit too high.
Severus paused, his fudge halfway to his mouth.
“Forgive me if I don't want the Black family dragged into the gutter,” Regulus said, quieting his voice down a bit.
“And you're coming to me to help with that because…?”
“Snape, you're the best in our house!” Regulus insisted. “You're going to end up with a full set of OWLS and your pick of careers. I–”
“Why don't you read the books you're holding instead of groveling at my feet,” Severus said, finally biting into the fudge.
“What's wrong with helping him?” You asked, finally chiming in.
“Because if I keep doing his homework, he's a little cheat,” Severus sneered. “That's even more embarrassing to your family.”
“I don't want you to do it for me, I keep trying to ask you how to–” Regulus was cut off.
“Then go ask a professor.”
Regulus knew he couldn't win the argument, so he took his books and left for the boy's dormitory.
You grimaced. “Severus that was…harsh.”
Severus took another bite of fudge. He had polished half the sweets you had given him already, almost like he was afraid you'd take them back. “He just wants to get on my good side because his brother hates me. I'm also looked at favorably by his cousins, who are prominent members of…” He paused. “...their family.”
“Get on your good side by asking for homework help?” You asked, smiling a bit.
“He's trying to inflate my ego, there's Ravenclaw tutors who would be happy to discuss homework with him,” Severus muttered.
“What benefit does he have?” You asked. “The Black family are–” You realized that you only learned lore about the Black family from Sirius, so you'd have to choose your words carefully. “Aren't the Black family filled with pureblood idealists? What benefit does he have impressing…well…someone like us?”
Severus made a noise but he didn't answer. He instead gathered up the rest of the sweets you had given him and stuffed them in his bag.
Dungeons
You could survive everything your social situation was throwing at you as long as you made it to potion's class. Here, your anxieties lifted and you were able to focus on your favorite subject. You enjoyed being with Severus here too–nothing outside the dungeon seemed to matter when you both were focused. Fittingly, the potion chalked on the backboard by Slughorn was DRAUGHT OF PEACE, underlined twice, with a long list of warnings beneath.
“OWL-level work, my dears,” he boomed, clapping once. “The aim is calm, not coma. Pale, silvery finish—no smoke, no scum, no explosions.” He wagged his piece of chalk. “And for Merlin’s sake, the syrup of hellebore goes drop by drop. Pour it and you’ll curdle the whole thing.”
You and Severus began to set up your stations with practiced ease. His potions book was marked up with ink as per usual in the margins.
“Watch your flame,” Severus said as you began heating up your cauldrons. “The heat makes the brew temperamental.”
“Mhm,” you said in agreement, knowing this brew quite well. It was one of the potions you had made frequently, if not for yourself, for your mother.
Severus paused. “Wait…this potion also requires mandrake. Do you–?”
You smiled and slid your notes towards him. “Well would you look at that, I do~”
Severus scanned the notes. “Shall I attempt your version again?”
“I have one portion of American mandrake left,” you said. “It's dried, and stewed mandrake is required for this potion recipe. You'll have to make an adjustment.”
Severus already looked like he was calculating a hundred different variables.
“This potion got anything weird about it I should know, Snape?” Dorian called from the next table over.
“In step three, mix three times counterclockwise after adding the moonstone,” said Severus. “Otherwise the instructions Slughorn is giving are decent.”
“Thanks mate,” Dorian replied.
Avery's cauldron was already beginning to smell off.
Severus was ignoring them. He was far too focused on your experiments to care.
You began brewing your potion without your adjustments, just like with the pepper-up. You began sprinkling the moonstone across the surface of the brew.
Across the aisle, James was trying his best to prepare his ingredients with exaggerated care. “So if I brew this perfectly Evans, will you finally admit I have talent?”
“I'll admit you can follow instructions written on a board,” Lily scoffed, but a ghost of a smile was on her lips.
“Mooney, turn the heat down,” Sirius said to Remus. “You'll scorch the brew.”
“Sorry, I'm not very good at this,” Remus muttered, looking rather lost as he looked at his barely touched potions textbooks.
“You feeling all right?” Sirius asked, uncharacteristically gentle as he spoke.
“Yes I'm fine,” he said, although his face looked pale. The dark circles around his eyes indicated he was not. The steam from his cauldron somehow made him look worse.
“It'll be over in a few days, mate,” Sirius said encouragingly.
You tried to pay attention to your brew, but the odd exchange was too curious to ignore. Was Remus sick? Did he have some kind of chronic illness?
You heard something tap on your cauldron. Severus had placed his black wand on the edge of your cauldron, turning down the heat with his magic. “Watch the flame,” he said, reiterating his original point.
“Thank you,” you said quietly, shifting your focus back to your own cauldron. “Counterclockwise stir–”
The potion turned a purple color, which you then adjusted the heat and let it simmer. You had nothing to do really for about seven minutes. Severus had also reached this stage.
“I do enjoy this part,” Severus said, looking down at the simmering brew. “It's relaxing, waiting for it to change color.”
You looked down into your own cauldron, the edges were already beginning to turn a magenta. "Oh the urge to stir it,” you lamented.
“Don't, it will split,” Severus warned her.
“I know, I still have an urge to stir it,” you giggled.
The time came for the syrup of hellebore. You delicately placed two drops into the cauldron, the brew immediately turning turquoise. You let it simmer down to purple again, then shook the stewed mandrake.
“What did you decide to do with the dried mandrake?” You asked.
Severus slid a bowl forwards, where he had been rehydrating the American mandrake. “Simplest solution, I think. It's not stewed, so I am a bit nervous about integrating it.”
You added the mandrake until your potions turned a red color, then began to stir it.
Severus placed the mandrake into the cauldron and waited. It was still a purple color. He swallowed, then picked up his stirring rod and began to stir the brew prematurely. He sighed with relief when it turned red.
“Well that answers that question,” you said.
Severus kept stirring his cauldron until it turned orange. He then wrote several notes in the margins of his already cramped book about using dried mandrake.
The rest of the mandrake incorporation Severus did flawlessly, constantly stirring as he added the dehydrated mandrake so it turned the proper colors, switching the direction of stirring per implement. Meanwhile, you were just following the normal instructions, knowing full well if you tried a premature stir the entire potion would split.
Slughorn lumbered by the Gryffindor side, beaming at Lily’s cauldron. “Excellent, excellent, Miss Evans—textbook consistency!”
Slughorn clicked his tongue disapprovingly at Remus’ cauldron. “Mr. Lupin, that is not a ‘simmer,’ that is a boil.”
Remus was staring at his cauldron, his cheeks hollow and his skin pale. He seemed like he did not want to be in class. “Sorry, sir–”
“It’s enthusiastic,” Sirius said, grinning at Slughorn and trying to cheer up his friend.
“Enthusiastically wrong,” Slughorn corrected, though his moustache twitched as if he was trying not to laugh.
Slughorn then approached the Slytherin side. “Mr. Avery, I expected better…what did I say about following the instructions? Good, acceptable work Mr. Mulciber.” Slughorn beamed when he got to your table. “And perfection as per usual. Now wait a moment, Mr. Snape–” He looked at the potion. “Why does it have a slightly pink sheen?”
“American mandrake again,” said Severus.
“It's safe,” you assured Slughorn. “I usually make it this way. We swapped recipes again.”
“Five points to each of you,” Slughorn boomed. “For once again using such ingenuity. My goodness, two geniuses in my class! An honor! I cannot wait to see what you two will brew up in NEWT level.”
Great Hall
Halloween came swiftly. The culture shock was a bit strange. None of the first years seemed to know what trick or treating even was, nor did they consider the concept of dressing up to ask for candy.
The Great Hall on Halloween night was decorated with floating candles, carved pumpkins, and black tablecloths. There was a large feast filled with autumn delicacies, and of course pumpkin pie.
“This is quite different, “ you mentioned casually to Severus as you served yourself some food.
“Huh?” Severus asked, looking up from his book.
“Do you have to constantly read at the table?” You lamented.
Severus closed his book and slid it wordlessly back into his bag. “What's different?”
“Halloween,” you said.
“Of course, it's wizard–”
“No, no, not even Lily seemed to know what I was talking about,” you said. “Trick or treating, costume parties, anything–I think that's an American thing.”
“You mean that…” Severus lowered his voice, making sure the other Slytherins didn't hear him. “...cartoonish type of thing? You really do that? It's not just from the television?”
You smiled. “You have a TV at home?”
Severus swallowed and looked at you like you had just confessed to killing a puppy. “Don't–ask that,” he practically hissed.
You sighed. “Fine. Yes, it's real. For the kids anyway. Some grown-ups and schools hold parties too. We used to have a really big one every year at Ilvermorny. We'd even have a costume contest.”
“Of course you did,” Severus said, but he seemed more amused than anything else.
“The food is better here though,” you admitted. “And the sweets.”
“Muggle packaged food certainly is lacking,” Severus agreed. “Flavorless mush wrapped in tin.” He stabbed his potato with a fork.
“I see you too are a victim of canned soup,” you said with a knowing smile.
“Against my will.” Severus grimaced. “Once sliced my hand open trying to open one.”
“Ouch! Your mum didn’t use magic for it?” The question was innocent.
Severus’ reaction was not. His whole body went still, as if braced for a blow. After a moment he relaxed, though his voice was flat. “No…she…wasn’t there.”
The air between you shifted. You fumbled to keep it light. “Well, before I learned how to cook, that’s what I ate too, whenever my mum was working.”
“Mm.” Severus lowered his gaze, nudging peas across his plate in neat, restless rows.
He was impossible—every time you thought you’d found an opening, he shut you out again. But you weren’t put off. You understood what it meant to feel small, overlooked, and out of place. If Severus thought he could scare you off with silence and sharp edges, he was dead wrong.