Chapter Text
Chapter 1
The day ended like any other day before. As the school bell rang, you grabbed your backpack that was slung across your chair and bolted toward the classroom’s exit. Like most days, as the end of the school day drew to a close, you ran to catch up with your best friend, Itadori Yuuji. The atmosphere that day was light and delectably sweet. The sun was beating down on the school building while the sweet summer breeze rippled through the trees that lined the school, casting long, cool shadows that served as perfect refuge for the sun. Chattering and laughter could be heard as students started piling out of the classroom and into the halls.
Today marked the end of your school semester, welcoming the summer break before you and Yuuji’s senior year in high school. You wasted no time, joining the sea of boisterous students in the hallways, fighting to get to wear Yuuji was waiting for you. Backpack slung on one shoulder, a new spring in your step, and you were closer to the sweet freedom of summer break: you couldn’t hold a care in the world. With summer so close, so obtainable, nothing could break your stride. Wearing a smile on your face, bouncing down the stairs of school, you finally saw Yuuji waiting for you by the entrance of school.
“Finally!” He dramatically sighed, rolling his eyes when he found you, “I never thought you would finally catch up.”
“Whatever, Yuuji! Y’know I’m right on time,” you smirked as the two of you began walking side by side, “unlike one of us I’m always punctual!”
“Pft, yeah, okay. God forbid a guy is 5 minutes late ONE time for a movie hang out – I can never catch a break with you huh.” You giggled as you nudged his arm.
“I’ve been dying to get out of Yaga’s class,” you started rolling your eyes, “even though he knew it was the last day of school, he picked the most boring lecture you could ever imagine, dude.” You rumbled around your short’s pockets to find your lip balm, grabbing it and applying a generously thick layer on your lips.
“That sucks, you know who didn’t do that, though?” Yuuji said, a smirk playing on his lips, “Mr. Gojo,” he exclaimed, “all he had us do today was watch a movie and do whatever we wanted to.”
You hitched your backpack up, bringing it to be more snug on the inner curve of your shoulder, you laughed at Yuuji’s remark. “Yeah, that must explain why your grades are so ass then, does Mr. Gojo even teach?” Yuuji made a face at your remark, something bearing the resemblance of disdain as he heard those words come out from your mouth.
“First off, my grades aren’t even that bad, not all of us can be complete bookworm dorks with nothing else to do all day but studying,” Yuuji retorted.
You scoffed at his response, “please, you know that’s not what I do. I know this might be a foreign concept to you, but I actually listen during class and take notes – it makes it easier to retain information, duh! Plus all I ever do nowadays is go home with you and play video games all day.”
“You make it sound like I’m a bad influence!” Yuuji exclaimed with a hint of irritation in his voice, but you knew he was being playful.
You stuck your tongue out at him, “maybe you are.” A big smile stayed on your face as you and Yuuji conversed while walking away from school. You knew the route the two of you were taking: you were heading straight to his house, per your usual routine. Once school ends, Yuuji and you always walked to his house together. Whether that be to study, to eat, to game, it never mattered. The only thing that mattered was that the two of you were together, always together. You were pretty sure Yuuji’s house saw you more than your own parents did, but it never stopped you whatsoever. Since kindergarten, Yuuji and you have always been close. From elementary school graduations, awkward middle school dances, and now in high school, your one constant has been Yuuji. So much so, that a lot of people began to have the impression that the two of you were dating, but they couldn’t be farther from the truth. You saw Yuuji as something like a platonic soulmate, nearly a brother. Plus, Yuuji wasn’t your type anyway, as if you ever cared to explore your type with boys anyway.
“Hey um…I know this is gonna be a bit weird, but Choso is back for the summer this year,” Yuuji trailed off awkwardly. You halted slightly, eyebrow raised. Choso was back in town for the summer? That was out of character for him.
“What the hell is he doing back here? I thought he worked during the summer abroad?”
Yuuji rubbed the back of his head, “Yeah, he usually does, but I guess he decided to work closer to home this year-round. I guess he just misses the world’s #1 best younger brother.” Yuuji grinned proudly as you both continued to walk towards his house.
“Uh huh,” you began sarcastically, letting out a chuckle, “I’m sure that’s his reasoning.” It had been four years since Yuuji and Choso’s parents tragically passed away from a car accident. Yuuji and you were 13 years old at that time with Choso being 15 years old. When their parents died, multiple family members offered to take them in; but, seeing how you were a major lifeline and support for Yuuji throughout all of childhood, Choso had to make a difficult call. Prioritizing Yuuji, Choso dropped out of school to work full time to provide for him, allowing Yuuji to finish school with you and to keep his support group. You remembered how rough those first few months were, everyone was grieving: for the death of the parents and for the death of Choso’s childhood. It was also a difficult transition for Yuuji, too, he went from being constantly surrounded by family members to being the only one in the house for long stretches of time. The stillness of the house, once filled with warmth and laughter, was overwhelmingly lonely with the constant absence of Yuuji’s older brother.
Choso’s days usually consisted of 12 hour shift rotations at some construction site he worked at, and when he wasn’t working somewhere, he was completely crashed out in his bedroom. Usually during the summertime, however, he takes traveling jobs to make extra money since more high-valued home projects happen around the summertime, but it seems like you’ll be seeing a lot more of him this summer than you thought. Your mind began to drift as Yuuji kept talking about the latest game he’s been playing and how hard it was to beat the current level he was stuck at, but you couldn’t help but think about Choso.
Before Choso dropped out and started working, the three of you had been quite close. Although Yuuji was your best friend, Choso had been high up there, too, despite him being older than the both of you. Memories of riding your bikes together during the summer flooded your mind, a memory that was sweet but distant. The three of you would meet at Yuuji’s house to gather and plan the day’s biking route. Often times, the three of you biked to the beach, stopping by convenience stores on the way back to savor sweet treats after a long day of sand castle building and playing in the water. A small, upward curve formed on your lips as you remembered one particular summer spent with the brothers.
Both sets of parents had planned to take all three of you to a water park; and while you all got to explore the water park alone, all of your parents got to relax and chat at the cabana bar situated in the center of the park. The moment that all three of you had permission from each set of parents to go wander off, you all bolted off, enjoying all the rides the park had to offer. You all had been there from noon to sun set, with each of you sporting a tanned complexion as a souvenir from the fun that had been had that day: all except for Yuuji, who’s back had (instead) turned into an unnatural pinkish hue. Apparently, Yuuji’s arms were not flexible enough to reach the middle of his back while applying sunscreen. The result? A bright pink back with odd, tanned shapes that resembled fingers from where Yuuji barely covered himself with the protective product. A soft sighed left your nose as you remembered just how hard you and Choso had poked fun at Yuuji for missing that spot on his back. That summer, his nickname was Crab Boy.
“Um HELLO? Have you been totally ignoring me for the past five minutes?” Yuuji impatiently waved his hand in front of your face, snapping you out of your thoughts. Coming back to reality, you realized you finally reached the threshold of his house. From the corner of your eye, you spot a beat-up red truck, knowing it had to be Choso’s. He’s already home. You swatted Yuuji’s hand out of your face.
“Sorry, sorry!” You began to sheepishly smile, “I was just thinking…and yeah…I totally didn’t hear what you were saying for the last five minutes.” You wore a big stupid awkward grin. Yuuji sighed softly.
“Listen, I know it’s kinda weird that Choso is back this summer, but that still doesn’t change anything we had planned for this summer!” He placed both hands on your shoulders. “C’mon, it’s our last summer before we graduate and have to get ‘big boy jobs,’” he used air quotations for that by the way, “so let’s focus on being couch potatoes and doing nothing but being self-indulgent!” He shook your shoulders excitedly. You didn’t expect him to know the term self-indulgent. You laughed, feeling at ease.
“Yeah, you’re right,” you slide his hands off your shoulders gently. Yuuji stuck his hand in his pocket fumbling for the house keys to unlock the front door.
“Erm, yeah I am,” he finally found his keys and began to unlock the front door, “besides what could go wrong-.” As Yuuji opened the door, a very irritated Choso was already standing behind the door, making both you and Yuuji jump back a couple of feet. “DUDE what the hell?! You can’t scare us like that-.”
Choso abruptly cut off Yuuji by raising his hand palm out, “Do you mind explaining to me why there’s at least 5 dishes left in the sink? Why there’s Cheeto crumbs and other unidentifiable food crumbs all on the floor? How did you manage to dirty up the place so badly after 12 hours of being left alone?” Yuuji got red from embarrassment and sheepishly smiled.
“Sorry big bro…I thought I had time to clean up before you got home.” You gave him a deadpan look, absolutely knowing that he had no intention of cleaning up as soon as y’all were about to go into the house. If anything, you knew that he would probably make the mess worse before you nagged him to clean up around the place. Yuuji slipped into the house with Choso’s cold stare still on him. “Um, we have a guest with us today!” He pointed at you, probably looking for an excuse to shift the subject. Choso turned his attention to you, still standing at the front door. You thought you saw Choso’s eye widen in surprise for a split second, but you could have been wrong, too. You felt his gaze linger slightly longer than it maybe should have, and you couldn’t help but to feel slightly insecure.
Did you have the biggest glow-up in the last four years? No. You were sure you still looked as homely and awkward as you did the last time Choso saw you; but, Choso, on the other hand, looked so different. You can tell that from years of working his job that he’s built a considerable amount of muscle on him. His biceps were well defined with muscle, freckled from being outside so much, and littered with small scratches and scars. He’s also grown way taller, too, with his frame towering over you easily. He held deep bags underneath his tired eyes, and his hair was situated in two ponytails, which you found to be an awfully funny and feminine hairstyle for such a manly looking guy. Across his nose bridge, spreading to his cheeks, was the same dark and deep birth mark he always carried. Except, as time went on, it grew darker, deeper, nearly a black shade. You stumble on words as his gaze seems to burn holes in your skull.
“Hi…Choso…can I come in, please?” You muttered nervously, hoping that the heat forming on your cheeks wasn’t visible. Silently, he stepped back and moved his body so that you can enter the house. You hastily entered the house, eyes downward to avoid Choso’s intense gaze, and situated next to Yuuji again as you heard Choso close and lock the door with a faint click sound.
“Do whatever y’all want,” Choso started, “I just have a couple of rules: 1) don’t be too loud, I still need to sleep, and 2) Yuuji clean up your mess before you guys do anything else.” Yuuji gave Choso a comical looking thumbs up and stuck his tongue out,
“Sir yes sir!” Choso sighed, seeing such a flamboyant display from his younger brother after 12 hours of grueling work was too much for him. Especially now that he has to make sure Yuuji and him are good and proper hosts to you, the guest of the house. Choso glanced at you one last time before going down the hallway into his room. You lightly shoved Yuuji which earned him an “ow!”
“Dude, I keep telling you to clean up after yourself whenever you make ‘breakfast’,” you harshly whispered to Yuuji.
“Hot Cheetos and cheese fondue can count as ‘breakfast’ miss sass and there’s no need to whisper. He’ll be fine, he usually sleeps like a rock anyway!” You shuddered at his remark. Hot Cheetos…and cheese fondue? “Look I’ll clean this all up, you don’t have to help – unless you want to,” he wiggled his eyebrows, which made you slap his arm, “Ow! Fine…I’ll clean everything up and you can just sit on the couch like a bum until I’m done.” You smirked at this.
“That’s what I like to hear!” Beaming a grin, you went to sit down on the couch and turn on the TV.
“…Bitch.” You snapped your head toward Yuuji who was sweeping up the kitchen floor across from the living room. Since there’s no boundary from the kitchen to the living room, you were positive you heard him call you a bitch. You glared at him, he can be so childish sometimes, so, as the mature person you were, you grabbed a sofa cushion and launched it hard at Yuuji. Yuuji ducked before it could hit him, making him laugh in glee until – CRASH. The cushion that you threw had knocked over one of the dishes on the counter top onto the floor. Both of your faces grew pale at the sudden realization, praying that you wouldn’t hear Choso start to come barreling out of his room to yell at both of you for being too loud.
Thankfully he didn’t. It did, however, earn a loud, melodramatic sigh from the hallway bedrooms, but at least he wasn’t coming out. Both you and Yuuji turned to look at each other, silently cursing each other out and making faces at one another. From across the room, you can definitely make out Yuuji mouthing the word “bitch” over and over again and it damn near makes you lunge at him from the sofa. You buck at him, stick your middle finger up, and turn your attention back to the TV before you two could cause more trouble for yourself. You picked a random channel and allowed some cartoons to play on the screen as you waited for Yuuji to finish cleaning his mess.
Light was filtering through the window curtains in the living room, brightening up the space as the cartoon on the TV played softly. Then, in your peripheral, you had saw a strange piece of paper on the coffee table in front of you. Turning your gaze from the TV to the mystery paper, you bent over slightly, gently picking it up and reading its contents. You felt your face fall flat reading it. ‘Yuuji Itadori’s Summer Bucket List!’ was written in crayon with a drawn picture of Yuuji smiling holding up his thumb next to the text. You bit your lip holding back a laugh, looking at the childishly made bucket list that Yuuji had (proudly) made for himself. You scanned his list to see what he wanted to accomplish this summer, wondering what things Yuuji had hoped for and wondering how stupid they would be:
‘1. Watch five new movies with my BFF’ with BFF made out in a glitter pen: you didn’t know he had glitter pens.
‘2. Hug my closest friends at least once a week!’ That’s most likely just you and Choso on the receiving end of that.
‘3. Be able to do 100 pushups by the end of the summer’, a little bicep curling a dumbbell was drawn right next to those words, but due to Yuuji’s lack of creative ability, the drawing looked rather fallic.
‘4. Make friends with all the neighborhood cats’
‘5. Get my first car’
‘6. Go visit Shibuya’
‘7. Have fun!’
Your eyes lingered at the seven wishes that Yuuji had created within his summer bucket list. You gave the first three wishes an incredulous look, as if the entire list wasn’t ridiculous in nature. Yuuji, as caring as he is as a friend, was a simple creature, too, with simple requests. You sighed, putting the list down, resulting on some loose glitter falling onto your lap (you’ll never be able to get that glitter out). Frowning, you began to try to beat off the sparkles of various shapes and colors, but to no avail. With the beating and wiping, the static between the glitter particles and your pants only deepened the bond between the two.
“Why did you have to use glitter, Yuuji,” you whined, but it fell on deaf ears as Yuuji only focused on cleaning up the mess he left in the kitchen. You placed the list back on the coffee table, sinking further into the couch focusing on the ridiculously drawn cartoon characters getting into bizarre predicaments on the TV. Finally, you heard Yuuji finishing up his cleaning.
“Ugh,” he began to whine, “I. Hate. Washing. Dishes.” He said exasperated, drawing out every syllable.
“Then don’t make such a mess next time you make yourself food,” you sneered, turning your head to look at him and seeing the outfit that he managed to put on. He wore a pink, frilly kitchen apron with heart designs scattered across the main bodice of the apron with white lace trim on the hems. You didn’t know if you should laugh at the site or grimace.
Sensing the face you were making, Yuuji was quick to defend himself, “What! I thought it was flattering on me…and it’s the only one we had in the house.” He placed his fists on his hips defiantly. It definitely used to belong to Yuuji’s mother, upon remembering that you dropped the topic, only offering a chuckle at Yuuji’s apparel.
“You’d make a pretty housewife one day, wanna add that to your summer bucket list,” you said with a mischievous grin plastered on your face, sticking your thumb out to point at the list behind you.
Yuuji took off his apron and hung it on a kitchen rack, a dusted pink tinge on his cheeks, “you weren’t supposed to see that! I’m not done making it yet!” You chuckled at him and patted the space on the sofa next to you.
“Hurry up dude, let’s start watching – .” You were cut off by a loud beeping on the TV. Both you and Yuuji snapped your heads to the TV screen. An emergency broadcast started playing: a blue background with yellow text urging to listen to the following message. Yuuji quickly took a seat next to you, eyes glued to the TV, softly letting out a “what the fuck?” The screen flickered again, no longer the blue and yellow message on the screen, but now replaced with a live broadcasting.
“Breaking news,” a young woman on the TV begins to speak, her words wary, “a sudden virus has broken out around the nation. Scientists and local governments are classifying this as a state of emergency, urging residents to stay indoors until further notice.” Yuuji snatched the remote, turning up the TV to hear the message. With the sudden change in TV volume, Choso emerged from his bedroom looking irritated and disheveled. With hot steps, he approached the two of you sitting on the couch, ready to scold Yuuji who still had the remote in his grip.
“First you break dishes, now you’re blasting the TV?” Before he could continue to scold Yuuji, he watched as Yuuji wordlessly pointed to the TV. Choso’s tired eyes followed where Yuuji was pointing to. A hushed silence fell over the three of you as Choso saw the emergency broadcasting on the TV. The reporter continued.
“Records of the virus popped up only a week ago, a testament to the rapid spreading of this very aggressive virus. With a 100% mortality rate for this unprecedented disease, residents are asked to report any of the following symptoms: a fever, sores on the skin, violent and erratic behavior, attempts of cannibalism, and foaming at the mouth. These symptoms should be taken seriously and should be immediately reported. Until then, the CDC and the national guard advise everyone to stay in their homes until further notice.”
Everyone kept still, clinging onto every word the reporter said. It felt like the wind had been knocked out of everybody’s lungs; and now, they waited to hear what the reporter had to say next. A grotesque picture popped on the screen.
“Individuals infected will look like the picture on screen, if you encounter anyone who looks like this, do not interact with them. Infected individuals act aggressively and are not docile,” you felt your breath catch in your throat, slightly choking you, “they are beyond saving.” The image that flashed on the screen was like nothing you had seen before. Underneath the picture was a caption that said ‘early-stage infection signs’. In it was a sickly person bearing sunken jaundice-like eyes, their green-ish skin sagging almost akin to how overly moisturized dough starts to slough off surfaces, and had crusted lips overtaken with blistering sores. Where skin didn’t slough off, the remaining skin was left with what looked like necrosis spots – dark, hollow, and void of material.
It looked like the early stages of a rotting corpse, and the sight chilled you to your core. If they were showing this picture, that means someone had already gotten to this stage and looked exactly like the thing in the picture. Perhaps this was a picture taken of a real person who succumbed to the virus. Its horrific image burned into your mind, especially knowing that you could potentially run into someone – something that looked like that.
“Updates will be given throughout the day, please stay connected to your network for future messages or tune into emergency broadcast frequency, 155 MHz, on radio devices for future messages.” With that, the broadcaster disappeared and was replaced by the blue screen with yellow text once more. This time, the yellow text read ‘CITIZENS ADVISED TO STAY INSIDE.’ A cold sweat ripped through your body as you stared at the cryptic message.
“Erm ha ha…so that’s awkward,” Yuuji slowly said as if he wasn’t sure of what else to say, “I guess that means we’ll have to change our summer plans then, won’t we?” Yuuji had attempted to lighten the mood, but one glance to look at him and you can tell he’s shaken. Choso started to speak.
“Let’s start by making sure the doors and windows are all locked, we shouldn’t take any chances.” You turned around to face him, panic evident on your face.
“You really think it’s bad out there?” You anxiously bit your lip, “the reporter did say that it just broke around the nation, so maybe it’s not even close to our town yet, maybe we still have time before it reaches our city.” Just then, car horns blared, and the sounds of panicked cries could be heard outside.
Your timing was uncanny, almost humorous, if it weren’t for the sounds outside solidifying the gravity of the situation: chaos had ensued outside.
The three of you bolted to the closest window to see what was going on, and the sight was enough to make anyone start to shake. You saw a couple of people moving in odd ways and chasing other people, foaming at the mouth. Their bodies turning, distorting in an erratic matter. It wasn’t a type of mindless erratic movement or a frantic movement with no direction, it was a controlled, feverish movement you’ve never seen the human body do before. Limbs twisted and jostled without care to go forward, to go closer to a target. If a normal human were to move that way, their tendons would have torn, the joints snapped: a human could not move like this. What’s worse is that they were fast, and in the few seconds you were looking out of the window, they had shown that they were even more effective predators. Tackling their prey, innocent people, with gnashing jaws and grinding teeth on human flesh creating a sickening, wet snapping sound as the victim cried out. Before you and Yuuji could see more, Choso hurriedly closed the blinds.
“Make sure everything is locked, now! I’m going to try to find wood to board up the windows,” Choso sprinted away with purpose, doing as he said. Yuuji was the second fastest to move, making sure that the window you three were just looking out of was shut and locked securely. Moving didn’t come easy to you; you had to force yourself from your rooted position to ensure survival. You made sure all points of entry were also locked: the main door, the backyard door, and now the garage door. Entering the garage, you passed Choso, carrying supplies with him to help board up the house. In a passing glance, you saw a glimpse of fear on his face. You’ve never seen Choso scared, rarely have you seen him so tense. Although he was arguably the sensitive type, he never let his stoic façade slip into one of fear or panic. For some reason, this unnerved you, but you quickly dismissed those thoughts as you made sure the garage door was locked and deadbolted. You quickly made your way back to the living space as you saw Yuuji and Choso working on boarding up the windows. Yuuji helped Choso secure the windows while a thought ran across your mind: some of the doors had small windows at the top that needed to be blocked to make sure that nobody can look into the house. You made haste, rummaging through the boys’ rooms to find anything of use. It was only when you heard screaming and banging noises outside intensify that the adrenaline in your body started to take over you. It made your legs feel weak, but you forced them to continue moving, pumping them manually like a piston moving a car. You scurried to the bathroom, figuring that tissue paper will have to do the trick. You pulled out a roll of tissue paper, began to wet them, and stick them to the glass panes on the doors. It wasn’t much, but it surely helped as they began to stick and cover the panes of glass. After everything was covered and secured, you took a step back from the door you were working on, only to find a rough and calloused hand dragging you away. You turned and saw Choso dragging you and Yuuji into his bedroom, the farthest bedroom from all points of entrance including the garage.
All three of you damn near collapsed, huffing from working so fast to secure the house and from the adrenaline that all three of you undoubtedly felt. Choso sat down on the edge of his bed, looking and feeling drained.
“Fuck, okay,” he ran his hands through his hair before looking at the two of you, nearly out of breath. His pupils dilated, darting from you and Yuuji with a crashing realization: it was now his duty to keep both of you safe. The ancient duty called to him like it called to many before him, just like it did four years ago when he lost both of his parents. The eldest always assumed the responsibility of the caretaker, his personal survival seemed mute with only the purpose of keeping the two of you alive and safe coursing through his veins. With nobody else but himself – he must be ready to sacrifice anything for the both of you. A heavy burden to carry. It seemed like he was trying to catch his breath while simultaneously keeping his act together.
Yuuji, for the first time, saw his older brother in fear, the hardened façade slipping right before his eyes. It was unsightly and uncomfortable to witness, so, he felt it his duty to do what he knows best: try to break tension. “Well,” Yuuji began, his voice cracking, directed at Choso, “you don’t have to worry about working in the hot summer heat now.” He flashed his older brother with a stupid grin, earning a punch on his shoulder from you. “Ow! What the hell!”
“Are you going to act like we didn’t fucking see someone get ripped to shreds outside, Yuuji?” You raised your voice more than you should have, stumbling a step toward Yuuji. “We saw someone die, Yuuji! Take this seriously or we could be next!” Each word reverberated in your chest, your head dizzy and spinning, but your wrath present nonetheless. Now wasn’t the time for quick quips and jesting, it was the time for survival. Choso regained his personal composure as he saw you confront Yuuji, he was ready to intervene until he saw you draw a deep breath. Grounding yourself, you took a step back from Yuuji, closing your eyes and bawling your hands into a fist before opening them back up. With eyes locking on Yuuji, you can tell that he was trying to make it seem like your words didn’t hit him hard. You had never snapped at Yuuji like that before. Seeing Yuuji’s eyes wide and startled at the sudden episode, your gaze at him immediately softened.
“I’m…I’m sorry,” was all Yuuji croaked, sounding like he was preventing tears from forming. Your face twisted into something sad, pitiful, as you placed a hand on his shoulder. Whether it was to ground you or Yuuji, you weren’t sure.
“No, I’m sorry…I shouldn’t have yelled…we should just be taking this seriously,” you pulled Yuuji into a deep hug, “I’m really fucking scared.” Yuuji wrapped his arms around you as a response. Nothing in life could have prepared you for this – especially not high school. You’ve had your run ins with death and grieving, but you were the one mourning, not the only being mourned. Mortality was fleeting, fragile, and could change in a single instant. Yuuji and Choso’s parents had the privilege of not knowing they were going to die that day, they didn’t feel the impending dread that grew and deepened within their soul. No, they had the privilege of being ignorant of when their end was coming. For you and everyone else in the room, it was hard not to face your own mortality now, not after seeing how easily it was taken away by a random stranger on the street. Now the threat of death hung heavy over you three, something that once seemed so far away was quite literally knocking at your door. You could die in an hour, in a day, in a week or in a month; never sure of how soon or how fast, but sure enough that it could be from the hands of the lingering beasts outside.
“I’m scared, too,” was all he said, and it was all he needed. Choso stared at the sight, like it was something so foreign and alien – a scene he wasn’t used to. Choso wasn’t sure who started to softly sob, if it was you or his younger brother, but both of you began to silently hold each other with tears falling from both of your faces. A symphony of small hiccup noises and shushes arose from the two friends who were wrapped around each other. You felt the warmth of Yuuji around you, gently stroking your head to try to comfort you, when you suddenly felt a second weight around you. Choso had joined the group, wrapping his arms around you and Yuuji, though it felt less like a hug and more of a protective stance. You tensed at first, not expecting this reaction from him, but learned how to welcome it.
“Nobody will harm anyone as long as I’m here,” his profession was low but absolute. He didn’t need to repeat it or reaffirm it to make you believe it. He let the two of you go, making you and Yuuji disband from one another as well. The hug helped ground you with the lingering warmth still fresh in your core.
“We should think of what to do next and how to stay safe,” Yuuji said breaking the silence.
Choso hummed in agreement. Whatever was outside, and whatever was happening in the world right now, was much bigger than all three of you could imagine. Right now, survival is the most important thing to think about as a group.
“We can take stock of what we have in the house: weapons, medical supplies, food, water, anything useful,” Chosen began, “we’ll start there and estimate how much time we have before supplies run out.” He turned to you next, “try to contact your parents, see if you can’t get a hold of them and how they are – if they’re safe. Try to also see if we still have internet access, too, or if we’re completely without communication methods.”
You gave a slight nod, it was slow and nearly imperceptible, but it was there as a way to acknowledge what was said. You reached in your pocket to find your phone when Yuuji spoke up again.
Yuuji’s jaw nearly dropped, “You’re not suggesting…that we’ll be stuck here so long that we’ll run out of materials, right? Surely the military or the coast guard or whoever shows up to help people in zombie movies will put an end to this soon, right?” He turned to look at you and Choso, hoping for some reassurance.
“I’m not saying that…for now, but we have to assume the worse to be safe” Choso sighed. You started to fumble around more in your pockets, with no luck finding your phone.
“What’s wrong?” Yuuji asked, eyes locked in on your panic-stricken face.
You froze. “I don’t know where my phone is.” Your eyebrows furrowed, your breath quickened. “I don’t have a way to contact my parents anymore…I have no idea where I left my phone.”
“You can always use our phones, here,” Choso handed you his phone, “this is a work phone of mine, but I have a feeling I won’t be using it too much anymore. Shoot them a text and I’ll let you know if they respond.”
Graciously, you took the phone from Choso’s hand, feeling your fingertips slightly brush his calloused palms in an attempt to grab his phone from him.
You exhaled in relief, “Thank you, Choso.” Choso gave you a slight nod as a response as you quickly made your way to his text app to contact your parents. After quickly drafting up a message, you hit send, hoping that it would be received. The message was pending for a while until it finally went through. Seeing the ‘delivered’ mark underneath the message lifted some weight off your shoulders, but now you had to wait for their response. You handed the phone back to Choso, confirming that there was still internet connection for now.
After the message was sent and everyone was made aware that they still had internet access, you all took Choso’s advice and the three of you took inventory of everything and gathered back into his room. With an exhaustive list of fresh produce, meat, canned goods, soda, water bottles, and all the junk that Yuuji buys in between: there was enough food for a month. In the garage, there were also some helpful items: Yuuji’s old baseball bat from his freshmen year of being on the baseball team, an old axe, and a crowbar. Aside from that, there were plenty of kitchen knives and a single handgun, courtesy of Choso.
“Dude, I didn’t even know you had one of those,” Yuuji said with a little alarm in his voice.
“I don’t like guns as much as the next guy, but it turned out to be handy anyway, didn’t it?” Choso answered. You didn’t challenge him on that. “With a month of supplies, we should be just fine.” You heard him give a long exhale. You turned to look at him, uncertainty evident on your face.
“Do you think this will blow over fast? Those…things outside, they’re horrifying. And the news said it was a new virus, who knows how long it’ll take them to find a cure?”
“Or eradicate all of them,” Yuuji chimed in. Choso looked at you and your concerned expression.
“I’m not sure how long this will last, I’m hoping it doesn’t last more than a week, but one thing is clear: as long as I’m here, nothing is going to harm anyone in this house.” Both you and Yuuji nodded.
“Weellll…since we’re stuck here, how about some movies!” Yuuji suggested trying to lighten to mood again. “I was thinking about zombie movies, who’s with me?!” Choso chopped the top of Yuuji’s head with the side of his open hand.
“Seriously? A zombie movie? Doesn’t that seem classless?”
“But it’s perfect! We can study each movie, take notes on what to do, how to fight, and what not to do,” Yuuji started rummaging around Choso’s room looking for something, knocking things over and tossing random clothes strewn aside.
“Hey, don’t go peeping around my room like you own the place,” Choso scolded, but Yuuji ignored him.
“Ah-ha! Here we go,” Yuuji found an old notebook and a pen, clicking it, “see, we can even take notes while we watch!” Cheerful and positive as ever, even during an apocalypse.
“Hm, y’know Yuuji, that’s not the worst idea I’ve heard you say,” you smirked, although still feeling anxious. You stole a glance at Choso, feeling him out for a reaction. He met your eyes, but as quickly as he looked at you, he looked away.
“You guys can do whatever you want, but I’m gonna try to get some shut eye,” he yawned and stretched before plopping down on his bed, “it doesn’t change the fact that I still just got off of work, and I need to conserve energy to watch out for the both of you.” Expressionless, he laid down with his back flat on the mattress, looking upward towards the ceiling, “stay in the living room and don’t eat too much snacks since we have to ration. If anything happens, wake me up.” He rolled over after finishing.
"Wouldn’t it be safer if we were all in the same room together, though?” Yuuji quipped, “that’s like rule number one of literally any zombie or horror movie, I fear.” You can hear Choso let out a groan as he rolled back over to face us.
"I like sleeping in my bed though…” Choso whispered.
"But you’ll like sleeping on the couch even more since you get to hang out with us! I mean – like – how long has it been since all three of us had hung out? It has to be like nearly four years, right? C’mon bro join us!” Yuuji made a point, it had been so long since all three of you guys actually hung out together.
A soft sigh slipped from Choso’s lips: a sigh of defeat. “Alright, we’ll all sit together in the living room. We can watch a zombie movie and take notes,” he small upward curve made its way to his lips, “but I get to pick the zombie movie.”
“What!” Yuuji bursted, “but I already had one in mind-.”
“Too bad, if you want my time, we do it on my dime,” Choso stood up from his bed, grabbing one of his pillows, “I get the nice part of the couch though, not where all of your crumbs probably are.”
Yuuji sighed, feeling exasperated, “It’s not even like a lot of crumbs! But whatever, you win.” He threw his hands up in defeat. You lightly chuckled at the sight – it’s felt like ages since all three of you got to be together in a casual setting. It felt almost normal.
The three of you were seated on the couch, Choso taking the long part of the L-shaped couch while you and Yuuji shared the short part. Although Yuuji had suggested taking notes for the movie for “survival tips”, it sure didn’t seem like Yuuji was taking any notes. This meant that you had to take notes now while Yuuji was mindlessly indulging in the exploding zombies in the movie. He sat near the edge of the couch, completely engrossed in the film while Choso looked like he was ready to fall asleep. You stole glances at him from a distance and saw how the glow of the TV shone softly on his hardened facial features. Your mind racing with theories of what was going on in his head, but you also took the time to savor the intricate details of his face while he was occupied with the movie. It felt like your chest was on fire yet achy when you take the time to truly look at him, to truly see him.
You saw Choso’s eyes flutter shut: he fell asleep during the movie. You deadpan at this, considering that you were all watching a movie of his choosing. But you also couldn’t look away from him, as pervy as it made you feel. You watched the soft rise and fall of his chest and how his fingers lightly twitched in his sleep. You saw how soft his face got when he really fell asleep, and just how at peace he looked when he was sleeping. Heat rose to your cheeks and nose as you continued to stare, but something deeper in your chest was blossoming. Although, you weren’t sure what it was.
Yuuji caught you staring at him, and he smirked slightly. “Really enjoying the movie, huh?” He whispered. You jumped and felt your entire body glow a hot red. You saw Yuuji barely contain a giggle which earned him a swift thwack upside his head, “knock it off!” Instead of backing down like Yuuji usually does, he starts hitting you back, initiating a not-so-quiet cat fight. Pitiful hitting sounds erupted as small “ows” and “ouches” overlapped with the zombie movie. Despite all of this, Choso was still sound asleep, completely oblivious to what was going on. You were the first to surrender, placing both of your hands in the air, a universal sign of surrendering. Yuuji stared, feeling out the sincerity of your surrender, before mirroring your actions and also putting his hand in the air.
“Listen, it’s not my fault that I’m not the biggest Train to Busan fan, okay?” You whispered to Yuuji, a dusty pink blush still slightly evident on your face. For once, Yuuji’s face was unreadable. Was he upset that you found his older brother attractive? Yuuji didn’t move, didn’t say anything, just breathed: slowly sucking in air through his nose and out through his mouth. Maybe he didn’t know how to feel about this or if he should feel anything at all.
“Yeah,” he slowly drawled, “we won’t make this awkward.” Both of you put your hands down and turned back to the TV, realizing the movie was about to end. Silence hung in the air, thick and tangible between you and Yuuji. Something shifted, and you weren’t sure what had shifted. It felt so benign and ridiculous that Yuuji caught you staring at his older brother, but the sheer embarrassment of it weighed heavy on you and shame washed over you like a tsunami. Enduring the zombie apocalypse and escaping death was one challenge, but not complicating your relationship with Yuuji by having the hots for his brother was a completely different challenge. You almost preferred the apocalypse over these weird, complicated emotions.
“Yuuji,” you whispered, “I don’t want anything to change between us.” You admitted. Yuuji let out a scoff, as if he couldn’t believe what you had said.
“Nothing is changing between us, stupid. We just said we weren’t going to make this awkward for us…but,” he hesitated, thinking about if he really wanted to tell you whatever else was on his mind, “I just…ah nevermind.” He stopped, leaving you hanging on words he never said yet. You shifted closer to Yuuji and placed your head on his shoulder.
“It’s strange when you get so serious.” You felt his head lay on top of yours, too.
“I know…actually, I take it back.”
You lifted your head off Yuuji for a moment, “take what back?”
“My ‘nevermind’…I take it back because I do mind.” He kept his gaze straight, not on you, bracing himself for his confession. “It’s just been us two, like, always just us.” He trailed off, hesitating if the next few words should be spoken. You tilted your head, confused by his profession. Sure, the two of you were very close, but what did this have to do with anything? A strange and unwelcomed thought crossed your mind. Your face felt hot, your cheeks beat red, you were scared that Yuuji was about to confess his feelings toward you in a romantical sense. That was the last thing you wanted as you knew you did not reciprocate those feelings. Bracing yourself for the dreaded confession, you circle back on your wishes to face zombies over these feelings.
“I guess I don’t like change, that’s all. I mean I know one day I’ll find someone someday and you will, too, but have you ever thought of what that really entails?” Your brows knitted together in confusion, your lips parted slightly as to ask him what he was on about, but you let him finish instead.
“No more after school hangouts, no more movie nights or going out whenever we feel like it. No more relying on each or only on each other.” At this point, Yuuji sat slumping forward, looking at the ground, bracing the edge of the couch with his hands. “We won’t be each other’s like…person…anymore. If that makes sense. We’ll have different priorities…we’ll grow apart eventually, and I’m not sure I’m ready for that yet.” His confession was profoundly vulnerable and sincere; you hadn’t expect that from Yuuji at all. You weren’t sure where this was coming from either, you never had a relationship before, and you were also certain that Choso didn’t take an interest in you. Yuuji, on the other hand, had maybe one or two relationships before, but that never changed how the two of you functioned or hung out – it didn’t change anything between you two at all.
“Yuuji,” you started, slightly startled by his extremely vulnerable comment, “that’s not going to happen. Sure, we’ll find partners one day and not see each other as much, but that doesn’t mean you mean any less to me.” You placed your hand on his back, “you’re my best friend, you’ll always be special to me, and I will always try to make time for you.” You offered him a small smile, which he glanced at your face and reciprocated.
“Thanks dude,” Yuuji’s grin widened, “but if you and Choso did work out then that means you’ll be my sister-in-law and that could potentially work out even better for the both of us!” Your smile dropped instantly at his words and your face felt hot all over. Despite your flustered demeanor, you had to remind Yuuji that that most likely won’t be the case and slightly lie and tell him that you didn’t feel that way towards his older brother. After that, however, the two of you finally settled down, and watched the remaining movie together. Your heartbeat had slowed to a stable state again, relieved to know that Choso didn’t hear the last portion of Yuuji’s statement. Or so you thought.
As the movie finally ended, you found yourself getting heavier, more tired. You allowed exhaustion to creep into you; and, slowly, you felt yourself fall asleep. The peaceful slumber you had obtained, however, was about to come to an end. Not even after an hour of napping, all three of you had been snapped awake by the sounds of the horrors from outside.
BOOM!
The whole house rattled and vibrated after something exploded outside. Instinctively, Choso woke up and jumped out of his sleeping position. “Go into my room, now!” Choso herded all of you into his room, shut the door, and locked it. From his room, he peaked out of his window, through the wooden boards, to see the cause of the commotion. He squinted his eyes, trying to adjust to the darkness that fell upon the land, but in the distance, he saw a burning glow.
Fire.
Someone’s house had caught fire, whether it was intentional or not, he wasn’t sure. It wasn’t long after the initial boom that he saw a huge hoard of zombies sprint toward the source of the sound. Hundreds of limbs slapped against the ground, pushing their bodies recklessly toward the fire.
“What can you see?” You whispered.
“There’s…so many of them, they’re all going to a house that caught fire.” He quietly responded. Choso stood in silence as he witnessed the hoard stopping just in front of the house, not daring to go too close to the flickering flames. Maybe they knew better than to get close to it. As he was still studying their movements, Choso had noticed a man slightly right to the burning house, crouched down low trying to escape the mob. The man was shaking, being sloppy in his movements to create distance between him and the mob all while nursing his shoulder. Squinting his eyes more, Choso could see a clear bite mark on the man. What was more interesting, is that despite how loud and obvious the man was trying to escape the mob, they paid no mind to him. The man, who was practically sobbing while trying to run away, knocked over trash cans on the road while being very ungracious in his escape attempt. Still, the hoard paid no mind to him. The man saw Choso looking at him through the window and made a mad dash toward the window. Earning a gasp from Choso, he told everyone to back away from the window and get low. Soon, frantic knocking could be heard on the window.
“H-hey! I saw you looking at me, please – please let me in! Help me! Oh my God, please help me!” You sat on the floor, shaking, next to Yuuji who seems frozen. Your entire body pulsed with fear with your breathing rapid and imbalanced. Your vision grew blurry, your head dizzy, and the whole world felt as if it was spinning at the sound of a desperate man trying to enter the house.
“I saw that you got bit,” Choso replied warily, “I can’t let you in.” The banging on the window became even harsher, so harsh that you swore you heard the faint sounds of cracking glass.
“You motherfucker! Let me in!” The man sounded less human by the second, his voice becoming a deep animalistic growl. His voice started to strangle and from the other side of the window, choking sounds could be heard. You placed a hand over your mouth as the scene unfolded. Bitten? Was this man infected? Was he changing into one of those monsters in front of you? As you sat helplessly next to Yuuji in Choso’s room. Choso took a step back in silence, still watching through the cracks of the boards on the window. The choking sounds ceased and were replaced by a different struggle outside. It sounded like the main was having a violent seizure on the ground, flailing his body and letting it thrash about on the ground outside.
Silence. Deafening, heavy silence followed. Choso saw the body lay still on the ground until it shot up, springing on both feet. Foam frothing at the man’s mouth, it craned its head to stare right at Choso again. Its head twitched violently, shuffling close to the window once more.
CRACK!
The zombie had begun to bang its head on the window outside, causing the glass to spider and crack viciously. Shards of the first line of defense began to shatter and fall onto the floor the Choso’s room as you watched helplessly. Yuuji pulled Choso down to the ground and farther from the window. Choso landed on his rear with a loud thud sound, but he still situated himself to where he was in front of both you and Yuuji. His arms were spread outwards, slightly shaking, doing what he could to protect the both of you in this situation. Suddenly, the sickening cracking of the window stopped. Instead, it was replaced by laborious breathing, just outside the boarded window. Soon after, the footsteps of the zombie could be heard moving farther from the window. Farther from the trio that seemed to be anchored to the ground.
“It…it stopped because it couldn’t see us anymore,” you whispered out. It seems that watching that zombie movie was useful. One of the weaknesses of the zombies in the movie Choso had chosen is that they were sensitive to sound and light. If they couldn’t see or hear you, you were in the green. You reached your hand out to put it on Choso’s shoulder, doing your best to silently comfort him. In the haze of it all, Choso had patted your hand to assure you he was fine. The contact of his hand was oddly comforting. For a man with such calloused working hands, the tips of his finger pads were soft, maybe even delicate. What was supposed to be just a pat of acknowledgement instead felt like a tender caress that messaged ‘I’m happy you’re here.’ The touch pulled you out of your panicked daze, now replaced with gentle warmth that sowed where Choso planted his seeds of light touches. When he eventually pulled his hand away for good, it felt like an agonizing absence: sore, even.
The three of you eventually pulled yourselves off the ground with Yuuji extending his hand to yours for you to take. Being hoisted off the ground, the three of you stood together, exhausted, and surrounded by broken glass. Yuuji casted a worried glance at Choso’s way, “You good bro?” Choso, still wanting to present himself as the brave, attentive, and protective older brother, could do nothing but silently nod, fearing that if he spoke it would give it away that he was terrified, too.
Gruff with his voice, Choso started to speak, “let’s go back into the living room, it’s probably not safe for us hear to be in this room for now.” You could only muster a hum in agreement until all three of you began to walk back to the living room together, not being able to shake off the memory of the man attempting to break in.
Sat on the couch, everyone sat in a heavy silence, processing what happened outside of Choso’s room. The man outside the window seemed to transform into one of those things – those infected creatures – in front of all of you and nearly broke through the glass window completely. It was a cruel reality check to remind you all of what has happened to the world outside the safety of the house. But the movie the three of you watched seemed to help you piece together its behavior, maybe it was worth watching more zombie movies to help you understand how the infected act, how they work, how they function in order to survive. You chose to break the silence first.
“Yuuji,” you turned to face him, “your idea of watching zombie movies and taking notes seemed to be a really good idea.” Yuuji, taken by surprise that you finally agreed with him on something, nodded excitedly.
“Glad to see you’re coming around to my genius ideas,” he said grinning.
“We can maybe watch more movies and use their knowledge to our benefit…we can use it as a tool to understand the infected better.”
“That doesn’t seem to be a bad idea,” Choso said with his words slowly trailing off. He looked at the clock on the wall as it read 7:19pm. “Before we start another movie, I think it would be a good idea for one of us to always be on watch while the others sleep, just to be safe.” Yuuji and you nodded in agreement, having someone stay on watch didn’t seem like a bad idea. “I can be the first watch.”
“I can be second watch,” pointing a finger at Yuuji’s direction, you spoke at him, “that means you’re third watch, Yuuji.”
“It’s settled then,” Choso spoke out, pleased at the watch rotation. He then turned to you, his blank expression ever present on his face while addressing you, “you can pick the movie this time.”
A small smile made its way on your face after listening to the words. Before the world ended, Yuuji had a monopoly on what movies you were going to watch during movie nights. A certain pride settles in your heart knowing that you could finally pick the movie this time.
“Really?” You said, barely containing the excitement in your voice, “Yuuji never lets me pick movies during our movie nights!”
“That is so not true, you picked during…hmmm,” Yuuji began rubbing his chin, deep in thought, “okay maybe it has been a while since you picked the last movie.”
Choso raised an eyebrow in confusion, “Wait, how often do you two watch movies together?” Choso asked.
“Well, every Friday after school, I would come over and we would watch a movie together. I honestly think the last time I picked something was in our sophomore year of high school,” you mentioned throwing a glare at Yuuji.
Choso only grunted in acknowledgement at the comment while reminiscing. Although Choso’s favorite past time wasn’t movie watching, he recalls a time where all three of you would watch movies together, specifically, on Friday’s after your parents would allow you to come over for dinner. Those nights would always entail popcorn buckets filled to the brim with savory, microwaved popcorn, a living room fort made out of pillows and blankets, and one can of soda for each of you. Prior to the death of his and Yuuji’s parents, that would be a weekly ritual for the three of you; however, it seemed that his absence due to work obligations didn’t stop the two of you from honoring that ritual. A weird pang hit Choso’s heart: if his parents hadn’t passed, forcing him to work to provide for Yuuji, would it still be the three of you every Friday for movie nights? Choso’s childhood had ended four years ago when he had assumed the role of the dutiful adult guardian of Yuuji. But he never processed that just because everything ended for him, it never ended for the two of you – you two had the privilege of savoring your youth while it was wasted on pushing concrete on Choso’s end. He couldn’t help but feel the foreign emotion of envy emerging from his chest while he was pondering. While stuck in thought, you and Yuuji seemed to continue to bicker about movie night choosing rights.
“I don’t get you sometimes,” Yuuji sighed, “why did you complain about not getting to choose a movie if you can’t even think of one in the first place?” He rolled his eyes deeply at your indecisiveness.
“Silence – I can think for myself,” you crossed your arms and turned your nose up at him, “…it just takes a while is all.” Yuuji groaned and rubbed his hands down his face, dragging his eyes down in the process. “Oh – oh! I got one! How about Zombieland?! That’s a classic right?”
Choso snapped out of his thoughts at the mention of the movie, “Zombieland? With Jessie Einsenberg?” You grinned in delight.
“Oh my God, yes! That one! Have you heard of it?”
“I hate Jessie Eisenberg,” that’s all Choso said in his usual monotonous voice. You felt your face fall instantly, completely at a loss of words after what Choso said. He…doesn’t like Jessie Einsenberg? That’s so random, and one-sided. “But we can still watch it since it’s your turn to pick something.”
“Wait, so we’re going to gloss over you disliking Jessie Einsenberg? Dude like – what is that even about?” Yuuji poked at Choso.
He shrugged. “He just plays a jerk in every movie; I don’t like his characters half the time, and I think his delivery of his characters fall flat. He’s just a bad actor.” You felt your jaw drop in surprise until a laugh overtook you. A nice, hearty laugh. You couldn’t believe it, it felt so stupid that Choso had some weird vendetta against a man he’s never met before. Yuuji joined in in with your laughter with Choso watching you in slight shock.
“Choso, you crack me up sometimes, but thanks for letting me have the movie choice still,” you said through your laugh. You swore you nearly saw Choso’s lips curl upward slightly, but it also could have been a trick on the eyes. Once your laughing fit was over, you stood up to go look through the TV console shelves to find the CD to properly place it in the DvD reader. You raise your eyebrow as you were struggling to find the movie. “Huh…um did you guys even have the movie to begin with?”
“I could’ve swore that we did, it should be there somewhere,” Yuuji stood to go help you in your search for the movie. Realization struck Choso.
“I…got rid of it last year.”
You whipped your head behind you to look at Choso, “What!?”
Choso sighed, feeling slightly guilty, sheepishly saying, “I really didn’t like Jessie Einseberg in that movie.” Both you and Yuuji turn to deadpan at Choso, realizing that both of you won’t get to watch Zombieland tonight. You sighed.
“No more Zombieland tonight then,” disappointment laced in your words.
Yuuji grinned as he pulled a different movie from the shelves, “But World War Z here we come!”
Chapter 2: Chapter 2
Notes:
Hey y'all, I know I said I would see you guys in, like, two weeks but I lied! Happy first day of classes for those stuck in school still. I had this chapter mostly conceptualized, so I began to write as a way of ignoring my larger scholarly obligations. I will most likely have the next chapter ready by next Sunday and will follow a weekly schedule instead of bi-weekly.
Enjoy reading!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
With arms crossed over your chest, you internally groan as the sounds of ‘World War Z’ filled the quiet in the living room. It hurt how coincidental it is that when you were finally allowed to pick the movie for movie night, it had been thrown out by Choso due to his disgruntled feelings for a certain American actor. Now, the three of you are situated on the living room couch with Choso taking the long part of the plush, cream-colored L-couch with you and Yuuji sharing the remaining portion of the couch. A deep, purple couch pillow was tucked into the curve of your stomach with a notepad and pencil atop the pillow, allowing you enough room and comfortable cushion to bear the movie enough to write notes. You made a mental note to make sure that any noise or sound should be kept at a minimum volume to ensure that the infected didn’t hear you from outside lest you doom yourself and your country (Israel.) While you busied yourself with the duty of notetaking, you took a moment to glance at Yuuji, who situated his head on your shoulders, wrapped in a soft, yellow throw blanket. That blanket had been Yuuji’s favorite ever since you’ve known him.
You glanced down at Yuuji and felt yourself smile softly. You weren’t sure what would become of the outside world, but you knew one thing for sure: if you had Yuuji, nothing could truly break your spirit. You think back to the conversation the two of you had a couple of moments ago, savoring the intimacy and raw honesty the two of you shared. It truly had just been the two of you for a while, and the thought of that one day changing also wracked your brain with incomprehensibly complicated feelings. It felt bittersweet: growing up. It brings about new responsibilities, new burdens, new fears, but it also brought about new possibilities, new experiences and opportunities, new memories, and new bonds. If the world doesn’t completely shit itself and things eventually turn back to normal, it means that adulthood was waiting for you on the other side.
Adulthood.
The word lingered on your tongue as if you were trying to speak it into existence, but you’re not quite ready for that yet. It was terrifying. You’ll officially be on your own soon, without the safety net your parents had provided, and potentially without the comfort that your best friend always gave you. It’s exciting and scary; tantalizing and ineffable. One day you’ll grow up, you’ll find a partner, settle down, maybe pop out two kids, and adjust to the monotonous tone of a 9-5. That’s what had to happen. That’s the way it always had been for others before you, and now you bear the cross that has been passed down and will continue to be passed down. Once you graduate from high school, if you do at this rate anyway, summer will never feel the same. It’ll lose its color and whimsy, and all the memories made that feed your nostalgia will never be made again; or, if you did make those types of memories, it’ll include a husband and children – you’ll never be able to escape the constant reminders of adulthood duties. It feels like a loss of personhood, but at that rate, would you even mind anymore? Would adulthood come naturally to you, or would you resist it? You weren’t sure. All you knew is that you didn’t want to leave the Earth with regrets, and you sure as hell didn’t want to leave the Earth with any precious bonds severed.
Yuuji, despite driving you half insane most times, had always been there for you. When you had your first solo orchestra performance in ninth grade, scared out of your mind to perform in front of everyone, who stood up and cheered for you the loudest? Certainly not your own parents, it was Yuuji – despite how terribly you did on your solo. When you got stood up by the person who asked you to be their homecoming date, who didn’t allow you to wallow but instead became your date to homecoming instead? Yuuji Itadori. Who was there for all the painful and awkward phases of being a teenager if not for Yuuji?
You reminisced about all the times you spent together as an iconic duo, cherishing all the little moments that you were glad to have happened before committing to growing up, all the while, Choso is looking at the sight that was unfolding on the other side of the couch. His younger brother was wrapped up in a blanket, snuggling one of his oldest friends, completely at peace. Choso felt a bit of pride that his brother was able to find someone he could fully open to and trust. He felt proud to think that Yuuji had done right by himself in finding and keeping a friend like you. Looking at Yuuji to you, he finally allowed himself to get a good look at your features. You hadn’t changed much in the last few years, but there were certain things that Choso noticed.
Your hair was much longer, thicker, and framed your face in a way that made your features softer. Your chin and jawline were just as soft as the rest of your facial features, not quite sharp and hard as his, and they gracefully met with the long slope of your neck. Your lips grew plumper with time, the bottom lip being slightly larger and darker in hue than the top lip. Your stature seemed fuller, too, in the way that bodies get when they allow themselves to morph into a more mature body. But despite the obvious changes your body has undergone due to puberty, your eyes were the same. Still soft, round; still inherently you. You didn’t look bad at all. Some might even call you pretty, but that thought hadn’t crossed Choso yet. He tore his gaze from you to turn back to the movie playing in the living room.
None of you spoke to each other, a testament to how draining today’s events had been for everyone. The sounds of the movie filled the living room space, creating an almost peaceful atmosphere. You had scribbled some ideas of what could maybe have caused the outbreak, ideas of how to defend yourself, and ideas of what not to do (like blast loud music on speakers, ultimately dooming your people). Theories began to take form with pen to paper, perhaps this is a man-made breakout and that the spread could be controlled; or, maybe, this was more of a natural punishment dealt by mother nature. It’s hard to say for sure, there wasn’t much information when the news was on, and it’s hard to make any solid observations about the nature of the breakout with the windows being mostly boarded up. Tapping the end of the pencil on your chin, you began writing questions and theories to test if you were ever given the chance to actually test them, but you know that was a risky endeavor with the threat of peeping outside eyes. You let out a soft sigh as your mind raced. The sound caught the ears of Yuuji, he perked up from his place on your shoulder.
“What’s on your mind?” Yuuji asked softly.
You breathed out, “Just writing theories and anything that crosses my mind, really.”
Curiously, Yuuji glanced at your notes, seeing the strokes of graphite the cluttered the page, “Any leading theories then Sherlock?”
Rolling your eyes, you answered back, “I’m not sure, the outbreak could be man-made or it could be natural. If it’s either or, there may or may not be a cure.” You sank further into the couch, “it’s hard to know with such little information, not just on the outbreak itself but on the infected.”
Choso’s ears perked, “Surely you aren’t trying to watch those things, right?”
You gulped, loud enough for Choso to hear.
“Absolutely not.” Choso cut in, his tone definite, “you saw what happened. What if someone still alive sees us and they try to break in? We’re lucky that guy left us alone after he changed, but, again, that was pure luck,” Choso stressed. “I mean, imagine if that had been a man that wasn’t bit? He could’ve easily done worse to us.”
He was right. Morbid as it was, it had been pure luck that the man was predestined to die, for if he hadn’t, he could have easily drawn the hoard to the house. The three of you would have been surrounded instantly by the hoard, facing the same fate as the man or worse. You grimaced at the thought.
“That was probably just a really, really rare occurrence, though! We shouldn’t not attempt to understand the infected better just because we had a bad experience the first time,” Yuuji had argued.
“Rare as it is little brother,” Choso dryly said, “none of us are prepared to defend ourselves even if we do have weapons.” Yuuji was taken aback by this. “Just because they’re changed, are you ready to kill someone, Yuuji?”
“They’re not people anymore…they’re…they’re different…hell, they’re gone, Choso.” Yuuji’s argument back to falter, but Choso made a point. Observations of the outside world may draw in conflict, and that may mean a fight. Were the three of you mentally, physically, or emotionally prepared to fight the infected? Not just with the risk of being infected, but are you ready to take a life?
Are you ready to kill?
Are you really, truly prepared to pull the trigger, swing the axe, bring down the bat on the skull of someone who once was human? You could nearly envision what it would be like – the sight, the sound, potentially even the smell of the infected’s rotting flesh. Bones would splinter in fragments at the mercy of your wielded weapon with a sickening, popping crack. What once was flesh and skin would be maimed, parted, torn from what was left of the person – the infected – revealing gooey, thick blood; perhaps you would even be able to see the shredded muscle fibers of the infected like the hairs of a violin bow that snapped. You could hear the wet snapping of rotted skin when it comes time for the weapon to make contact, flesh becoming undone at your will. Maybe, if the infected had any semblance towards their previous humanity, they may even make sounds. Strangling, muffled cries that ripped through their macabre vocal chords as they met their end. But as much as it gnawed you to think of ending the life of an infected, they could also end you, too.
Would you go out fighting? Giving all of your strength to hold out before you were surrounded? You thought to yourself that you perhaps would go out violently, not letting them have you easily. You cringed thinking about it. They would tear you to shreds before you finally gave into them. They would take you, twist you, wring you out like a wet rag until all that was left of you was disgusting, sloppy popping sounds as they feasted on your skin. Your heart beat erratically facing the moral dilemma: would you kill to protect yourself and others? Yes, you would. Could you ever not see the humanity in something that once was human, something that had a family, hopes, dreams, and fears just like you? No. Your chest twisted and ached only in the way something akin to a heart attack felt like. You tried brushing off the thoughts and feelings, you can always pick another time to think about your mortality.
“You can think whatever you want Yuuj, you can think of them as human, as monsters, or as something else, but they used to be human, Yuuji. Physically, they are human. Are you ready to kill someone to defend yourself?” Snapping out of your thoughts, you turned to glance at Yuuji seeing his big glossy eyes.
He looks ashamed.
Choso softened at the sight, obviously not intending to push Yuuji further, he sighed, “I just want to protect you – the both of you.” You can tell that he only added that last bit to not seem like a jerk. You knew that he mostly meant Yuuji. “It’s hard to do that though when you want to put yourself in harm’s way.”
“I’m not trying to do that, Choso,” Yuuji said barely above a whisper, “I’m trying to help us survive!” Yuuji was becoming exasperated at this point, “I mean – it would suck so badly if I died or if we died before we could graduate high school. Before we could get jobs and do cool adult stuff together! And most importantly –” Yuuji’s voice quieted slightly, “I want to live to see a version of you where you don’t work all the time. Where we can finally hang out again like how we all used to…”
Choso was utterly dumbfounded and left without words to say. He continued to stare at Yuuji, struggling to find the words to say. He never expected Yuuji to say that, but the look on Choso’s face said it all: I understand. In the dim glow of the TV light, you saw the conflicted look that dawned on Choso’s face. You decided to finally speak up and try to back up Yuuji (like a good friend should.)
“What if we need to go outside eventually? Or worse, what if it gets so bad that we need to actually leave and go elsewhere? It’s safer to do this in the long run, that way we can understand how they act and move for our betterment.” You looked at Choso for a response, maybe something supportive.
“I’m not comfortable with it,” he said with slight hesitation, “it’s risky and it could endanger all of us…I’m not fully convinced observing them is even necessary.”
“But she has a point, Choso,” Yuuji piped in, “what if we did need to go outside or move? What if supplies run out and we need to make a trip to the market? It’s better to at least know how they behave and how to maneuver around them than to act blindly when the time comes.”
“Then what’s your plan when someone sees you and starts bringing attention to the house? What then when a hoard starts forming around us,” his eyebrows knitted together at the thought, “the weapons we have are helpful when the fight is already in the house, but they don’t do much when the fight is coming closer to us.”
“We won’t let that happen, we know to be careful know. Please, Choso, I know that this could help us.” You hoped that you could get to him. You understood the risk this posed, but this could pay off in the long run – you just knew it. It must pay off.
Choso stayed silent for a few minutes, mulling over the points that the two of you made because you two weren’t wrong. As much as it pained him to admit it – you two were right, but he needed to keep the two of you safe. He also knew that his saying ‘no’ probably won’t dissuade the two of you from doing it anyway. So, if it was going to happen, he rather it happens on his terms. “Okay,” he began, “but we aren’t just observing them blindly either and we definitely aren’t using my room to do it – we can’t risk another crack in that window.” He crossed his arms, “we’ll observe for one hour in the day and one closer in the evening. We’ll take notes on their behavior, but as soon as we see someone alive close by the house, everyone needs to stop and retreat. We can’t risk someone seeing us.”
You saw Yuuji’s posture lightened, like a wilted flower receiving water after being dried out, you saw his confidence and determination revived. You breathed a sigh of relief, “Thank you, Choso.”
He sighed and nodded, “make sure to get a lot of good notes, we’ll be counting on them later on.” You felt a warm feeling start in your chest; you felt odd at his admission of relying on you. It felt good to know that you could help. “We should have some binoculars in the garage that could be of use, you can start tomorrow after you’ve gotten some rest.”
A wave of relief and a tinge of excitement rattled your exhausted frame. Understanding how the infected work gives you a huge survival advantage, and you were grateful for Choso allowing you to observe them. “Thank you, Choso,” you said.
The two of you lock eyes with each other for a moment, and in his eyes you still saw worry lingering in his deep, brown eyes. You try to give a small, reassuring smile, something that reads “I’ve got this” and saw his features soften.
“No problem, just be careful,” his voice somewhere between firm and gentle.
You nodded and felt Yuuji place his head back on your shoulder, “God I’m tired, all of this weird zombie talk has me tuckered out.” He smiled as he let his eyes close.
“You better not drool on me, Yuuji.” You snapped. Yuuji brushed you off and continued to drift to sleep.
“You should also get some rest, too, I’ll wake you up when it’s your turn for watch,” the older brother said.
“Thank you,” you murmured while sinking further into the couch, “goodnight, Choso.” With that, you let your eyes close and felt your head gently gravitate toward the top of Yuuji’s head. With your breathing synchronized, the two of you succumbed to sleep, hopefully dreaming of better things than y’all’s reality.
Choso whispered a soft ‘goodnight’ back before reaching for the TV remote on the table and changing the TV’s setting from the DvD setting back to cable. He turned the volume down low, as to not disturb the two of you sleeping, and put it back on the news. Maybe while he’s up during watch, more information about the recent outbreak will come out. After finding a working TV channel, there were updates. A blonde woman dressed in a polka dot blouse began to read her script on live.
“Hours after the first outbreak, chaos has ensued around the nation,” the reporter said in obvious distress, “network towers have been down in several major cities across the country, resulting in communication black outs. If you are the few cities or towns that can see this message, please advise to the following messages.”
This perked Choso’s ears up. They were one of the towns that still had internet connection. How bad had the major cities gotten within the last few hours?
“New York City, Chicago, Los Angeles, Houston, and Miami have become the first of several official black out cities. Our sources say that other cities with similar populations are bound to fall within the next week. The CDC has advised that all citizens prioritize obtaining and maintaining clean water sources and then food sources.”
Choso sat in silence, hearing the names of some of the biggest cities in the country fall made his ears start to ring.
“Anyone who has been bitten by someone infected with the virus, should be euthanized.” This reporter wasn’t holding back any punches. “Immediately. The CDC has advised that no persons should attempt to quarantine the individual as there is no cure for the virus.”
His eyes widened. No cure?
“Top epidemiologists around the world have been gathered to give their professional opinions on the state of the virus. Here is what the majority have agreed upon.” The reporter cleared her throat before shuffling her papers around, “The virus is spread through an aggressive and newly discovered subspecies of Staphylococcus aureus, which is known to mostly affect human populations. Its current status is a surface infecting bacterial species, meaning that people are especially vulnerable to transmission through breaks in the skin or through bodily fluids.”
Choso clung onto every word the reporter was saying like his life depended on it, mostly because it did.
The reporter continued, “The CDC nor top epidemiologists are 100% sure on its lifespan or its potential to spread vertically. Epidemiologist Shoko Ieiri gives her insight in Japan.” Suddenly, the camera cuts from the reporter to a pre-recorded interview. Dr. Ieiri is dressed in a clean, white lab coat over a deep teal turtleneck sweater. The camera zooms in on her while the interviewer begins to speak.
“Dr. Ieiri, people are terrified over this new virus that has seemingly devastated the United States of America within hours. You are highly regarded for your previous research endeavors that contributed to advancements in the knowledge of the evolution of this particular species of Staph bacteria, what is your professional opinion on the matter?” The interviewer spoke.
“Well, for one, this isn’t a virus per se as viruses and bacteria are different. Bacteria are living beings, while viruses aren’t and their need for hosts to survive differentiates them from what is currently happening in America.” Dr. Ieiri’s brows slightly furrowed as if she’s struggling to choke out the next sentence. “This new subspecies…it’s very unknown – it’s dangerous. It seems to move from one patch to another with an aggressive speed. Some diseases infiltrate populations slowly, moving from one patch of humans to the next. But this new subspecies is sprinting.”
The interviewer gasped, “Are you saying that these new bacteria and disease may have the potential to infect large swaths of people before proper intervention?”
“It already has,” Dr. Ieiri began again. “To my knowledge and to the country of Japan’s knowledge, major hubs and cities in America have already succumbed to this new disease. It seems to take lives indiscriminately, leaving nothing but a hill of dead bodies in its path –” she was cut off by the interviewer.
“Dr. Ieiri, please refrain from using such phrases!” The shaky voice of the interviewer quipped again.
Dr. Ieiri was not having it, growing increasingly irritated by the moment. If anything, she wasn’t the type to beat around the bush. “Listen, I’m not going to sugar coat this, but this new subspecies is a major threat.” She began frowning, “If it moves quickly, consumes quickly, breeds quickly, it’s going to evolve quickly.” Putting major emphasis on all of her words. “The best and easiest way to study this new disease is to allow it to colonize all of the patches.”
“What are you suggesting Dr. Ierir?”
“I’m suggesting that we let it colonize America.”
Choso couldn’t believe what she was saying. ‘Let it colonize America’? Surely, she didn’t mean that. People were dying, if she saw the devastation, she wouldn’t be saying that with such unwavering confidence in her voice.
She continued, “If we let the new subspecies colonize all patches in America, or all populations, we slow down its rate of evolution as it faces less obstacles in its reproduction cycles with the human immune system. Once it slows down with its evolution, only then can we send in our best to study it.” Dr. Ieiri bit her lip in frustration before continuing, “it isn’t the most ideal situation whatsoever; but, scientifically, this is the best course of action to prevent it from spreading internationally. We have to close borders, we have to shut down Ameri –.” The pre-recorded interview cuts right away, and the TV switches back to the reporter who seems much more antsy and nervous compared to when they originally aired. The reporter, a ghastly white color and taken aback by what the scientist had suggested, struggled to report more news. In the background of the broadcast, you can hear the disbelief of the whole crew and murmurs of “are you serious”, “this can’t be”, and “did they close our borders?” The broadcast then switched to a blank screen with news anchor music and a message on the screen that says, “we’ll be back!” It seemed like nobody screened the video before it broadcasted.
The whole room felt like it was falling in on Choso. Whatever they were dealing with, it was much more sinister than he could fathom. The woman’s words replayed over and over in his mind: bacteria are living beings while viruses aren’t and their need for hosts to survive differentiates them from what is currently happening in America.
Viruses need hosts.
Bacteria do not.
It doesn’t matter if you don’t encounter someone infected directly, the shit can persist anywhere. In water supplies, in food, maybe even the air. The stakes are now higher than they ever were.
Hopelessness consumed Choso, staring numbly at the TV screen. How was he going to protect everyone in the house if he doesn’t truly understand the nature of this disease? Millions upon millions of questions swirled inside Choso’s mind, it almost makes him feel dizzy, but he needed to pull himself together for you two. He couldn’t allow himself to wallow in despair. After all, he wasn’t allowed to when his parents died, he sure as hell wasn’t going to start now when Yuuji needed him the most. His little brother’s life was on the line and Yuuji was all Choso had left. He stilled himself, forcing himself to take deep breaths to calm himself down. Unbeknownst to him and his attempts to quell the incoming panic attack that was threatening to take over his entire nervous system, you were awake.
You were awake throughout the whole broadcast.
Choso only noticed you once he was up and walking towards you to grab the notebook from when you were writing notes earlier, seemingly to jot down everything he retained from the broadcast. He quickly sucked in air in surprise at the sight of your glossy eyes locked on the TV screen. You remained silent. Your eyes continued to bubble with water, threatening to spill down your face but never quit reaching the tipping edge. Not wanting to look him directly in the eyes, you carefully handed him the notebook and pencil.
“Don’t worry,” your voice was soft yet gravely at the same time, “Yuuji is a deep sleeper, he won’t wake up if we keep our voices down like this.”
Choso stared at you deeply, concern carving his face, “You saw the broad cast, too, huh?” He took the notebook and pencil you were offering him. You wordlessly nodded, resulting in a single tear spilling on your right cheek. He let out a deep sigh, “I’m going to try to write down all that I remembered,” he took the end of his right sleeve and gently grazed your cheek to wipe your tear, “I know it’s easier said than done, but try to get some rest. Don’t overthink that broadcast. That’s my job.” His previous panic is gone, now stepping into his protective adult duties of comforting you and pretending like the news didn’t bother him.
Just part of the duties of being an adult.
You finally grew the courage to look at him and say something you never thought you’d say, “Choso, are you just as scared, too?” That certainly took him by surprise. His eyes slightly widened in shock at the audacity of your words, even though they were true. He tried to soften his facial expression, not too keen on giving it away that he was, but he knew he would fail. All he could do was nod in agreement.
“Yes, I am, but for y’all,” he motioned to the two of you, “I can get over it. Get some sleep, okay?” With that he began to walk back to his spot on the couch. However, it did extremely little to quell your anxieties. Your heart continued to race at the implications of what Dr. Ieiri had said, because what if they did close the borders? What if America was completely isolated and alone in this breakout, and what if nobody was coming to save them?
Your future was slipping away from you, right in front of you. It’s one thing to loathe the process of growing up, but at least beforehand you knew that was a possibility for you. Now, growing up and growing old seems like a luxury that perhaps you couldn’t afford anymore. You once feared intimacy and change that marriage and starting a family created when you grow older, but you won’t have the pleasure of knowing that now. Any fear, discomfort, and concern you’ll feel from now on will bear the price tag of your survival. It puts you in a place of despair. You won’t know peace, not when a violent death was on the end of the call line. You felt your whole body tense and at the same time loosen up, it felt like a halfway point of fainting and dying. You tried to muffle the rising sounds of your small hiccups, feeling like you were about to break out into a complete sob. It didn’t go unnoticed by Choso.
He whipped his head in your direction, stunned by your reaction to the news. Uncertainty over what his next moves or words should be consumed him, but he knew he had to offer you something. “Do you, uh, want to come over here instead?” Choso said while scooting over, gently patting the open space that he created, “better than crying directly on Yuuji, right?” Your lips started to quiver, but now more due to embarrassment than despair. You gave a weak little nod before you gently moved Yuuji off of you, careful and skilled enough to move him into a comfortable position without waking him. Sniffling the snot that threatened to run down your nose, you shuffled toward Choso, and sat down in the space he created for you.
Choso wasn’t sure of what to do next. Step one was offering you a place to cry that wasn’t on his sleeping brother, but he never thought of what step two was. It’s one thing to be sensitive and open as an older brother, but when it came to being sensitive to the nerves of a young lady, Choso was stumped.
He remembered comforting you once and only once when you were younger, but that mostly entailed handing you a bandage for a scrape you got from falling off your bicycle: a superficial wound. This was no superficial wound. This was a primal fear of potentially losing your life. It cut deep, facing your mortality, and Choso was never given the tools in life to help heal that. He wasn’t even equipped to handle Yuuji’s pain when he lost his parents. The most he could do is provide a roof over his head, food on the table, and the guarantee that he wouldn’t move Yuuji away from his only other support group. He succeeded to provide for Yuuji, but in the same superficial way that he succeeded in providing you that bandage. But he has always, always failed in showing up and helping to heal the deeper wounds that fester beneath the skin, wounds that sit within the soul. He wants to do better, and what better way to start than to start with you.
In an awkward and desperate attempt to seem like he had more of a plan for bringing you over to his side of the couch, he gently moved you closer to him, wrapping one arm over you, and rubbing your shoulder with his hand. You tensed at the sudden contact, not sure of what to do with his touch. Although this was coming from a place of care, it felt incredibly awkward. As soon as you tensed, he began tensing, sensing that this was just as awkward for you.
Trying to save the moment, Choso did the only thing he knew how to do, “Don’t worry, um, big brother, Choso, has you.” He felt his face burn, partly in embarrassment and the other in the sheer absurdity of his gesture. He tried to smile, but it ended up twisting into a cringed look on his face. What else was he supposed to do? He figured that this is what he would’ve wanted if he was in Yuuji’s shoes after their parents passed, maybe it could work for you, too.
You refused to look at him as you tried to suppress the look of horror and disgust about to settle on your face.
This definitely wasn’t working for you, not emotionally at least. But his tactic of making you forget that the world was truly ending worked.
For better or for worse.
You pursed your lips in a straight line and with one hand, you gently guided his hand and arm off of you. Choso, sensing the rising tension, decided to make it worse by speaking, “As a big brother figure to you, I promise –.” The rest of whatever he said fell on deaf ears as you tuned him out. He was trying to enforce himself as a brotherly figure in your life after you admitted to Yuuji that you thought he was attractive. But in all fairness, Choso’s heart was in the right place, all he wanted was to make you feel better. He wanted to try to become better with his emotional responses to others.
It didn’t change the fact it was horrific. It felt like steam was emanating from your brain as it was melting into goop. Stuck in your mental chambers of embarrassment, you didn’t even notice that he put his arm back on your shoulder until you felt him trying to awkwardly caress your arm in comfort. In his random ramblings all you could make out were the phrases “big brother” and “brotherly duties”.
This was true agony as you heard him dig himself into a deeper hole than he was realizing. To Choso, it was equally agonizing. Although you had stopped crying, he saw your face of abject horror at his attempt to comfort you, making him double-down on his “big brother Choso” act. Did he really see himself as your big brother? Absolutely not. But this attempt at comforting you was only bearable if he pretended you were Yuuji.
You had enough. You put your hand on his chest in a way to say “stop”. Your brain felt completely fried, and so did his, but at least he stopped.
“Sorry, did I say something wrong?” He began, nearly stammering every word. You scooted away from him as you untangled his arm from you. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him.
“Um, thanks for trying to…comfort me.” You stammered.
Choso looked away in utter embarrassment, “I’m sorry…I’m not good at comforting, um, ladies…we don’t really have girls at my job site –.” He cringed as he realized that he basically admitted to not interacting with girls that much. It was sadly true, though.
Your face was hot and red: a type of deep, red shade that would make an gardener’s prize chili pepper seethe in jealousy.
“No don’t worry, like, I can’t even tell at all that you don’t really talk to girls,” you said, attempting to stifle the awkwardness that threatened to show on your face again. As if it wasn’t showing in your body language. “I feel very comforted, so much so that, um, I think I’m going back to bed now.” You started to slowly rise from your spot, hungry to put some distance between you and Choso after that exchange, only to find that in the short time you move away, Yuuji had completely man sprawled all over your spot. Leaving the spot you were currently at the only spot left to sleep at.
‘Just great’, you thought.
“Don’t worry, you can sleep on this side, I don’t mind,” Choso said eager to change the awkward subject of his attempt at comforting you. He mentally swore in his mind that was the last time he ever would try something like that again.
You hesitantly nodded, continuing to not make eye contact with him. You settled into your sliver of the long side of the couch, the proximity making you nearly play footsies with Choso.
“I’ll wake you up when it’s time for your watch, um, goodnight.” With that, he began to scribble notes down, hoping to occupy him from the embarrassment he felt from trying to comfort you.
“Yeah…” you said trailing off. You tried to settle into your spot by turning away from Choso, but in that movement, your butt slightly grazed his hip, a contact that did not go unnoticed as Choso tensed slightly. “Goodnight,” was all you could muster as you tried to force yourself asleep, your personal attempt at escapism from the horrid 10-minute exchange you had with Choso.
Soon enough sleep took you, and you drifted into your dreams. Sleep may have allowed you an escape from the embarrassment you felt right before you drifted off, but your dreams didn’t grant you that same safety.
You were sitting down at a dinner table with Yuuji and Choso; a big bowl of spaghetti was in the middle of the table as Yuuji began to serve everyone. A soft, yellow glow filled the room, almost like ribbons of sunlight was unnaturally penetrating the room, giving a nostalgic glow to the scene.
He started with Choso, giving him a generous serving of the meal and then proceeding to top it off with parmesan cheese.
“Here you g,o big bro!” Yuuji said boisterously, a big smile evident on his face, “I hope you like it; I made it with extra love!”
Choso smiled with pride and love in his eyes for his younger brother, “Yuuji, you know I’d love anything you make.”
Yuuji was dressed in a yellow hoodie with his sleeves scrunched up as he served pasta while Choso was dressed in a knitted purple sweater. The whole scene seemed casual, too casual, nearly family sitcom parody levels of casual. But you weren’t confused at all, you seemed happy, pleased even, to be here with them. Watching yourself from a distance in your own dream, you saw yourself smiling sweetly as Yuuji began serving you your plate of spaghetti. In your dream, you wore a puffy, pink, knee-length dress with thin straps that melted into the sweetheart neckline of your dress. The hems contained light frills with added white lace trimmings. You looked awfully pretty in your dress.
“Oh thank you, Yuuji! I was craving your famous spaghetti!” You clasped your hands together as he finished topping your plate off with parmesan cheese as well.
Yuuji chuckled, “It’s no problem! You know how much I love cooking for you guys!”
Choso turned toward you at the dinner table, reaching his fork over on your plate and twisting it, collecting strings of spaghetti on it. He carefully held his fork full of spaghetti in one hand with his other hand underneath it, ready to catch any fallen spaghetti. He smiles at you, “Say ‘ahhh’, little sis!”
You felt your body jolt awake, feeling mortified at your own dream. Sweat clung to every surface of your skin as you heave heavy breaths; you felt like you could pass out, but the fear of falling back into that dream kept you wide awake. You stiffened up, back bone straight. You touch your mouth, trying to ground yourself and to also make sure it wasn’t open as to receive the spoonful of spaghetti Choso had made you. Then, touching your neck, it felt like your heart had leapt up in your throat.
“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t think I would scare you that bad waking you!” Choso said in a hushed but apologetic tone. You snapped your head toward Choso, hair matted on your forehead from the sweat created by that dream – or nightmare, really.
“O-Oh!” Your whole body felt like it was on fire while simultaneously aching, “I suppose it’s my turn for watch, right?”
Choso nodded, looking at you suspiciously, “Um, are you okay?”
You shook your head, “I’d rather not talk about it.” You pulled your hair out of your face and began to smooth it backward, you’ll need a shower to wash off all the sweat and shame that past couple of hours had placed on you.
“That’s fine…I guess,” Choso, not really knowing what else to say, turned over to try to go to bed. It took only a couple of minutes for sleep to take him; but, unlike you, he didn’t dream of an uncomfortable sibling dynamic between the two of you. Still trying to calm your breath, you turned over to look at Yuuji and see if he was still taking up your spot. He was. You groaned internally, realizing that you’ll have to stay close to Choso tonight without another spot on the couch to occupy. More of a curse than a blessing at this point in time. Once you were done reeling, you took a hold of your surroundings to find that you awoke in complete darkness. Choso had turned the TV off in the middle of the night, probably to avoid more awful news.
A shaky sigh slipped from your lips as you continued to self-soothe. Now that there was no more background noise, and no more embarrassing thoughts to keep you occupied, you zeroed in on all the outside noises.
The usual crickets were chirping, singing their summer songs like all the previous summers you lived through. The wind rustled through the tree canopies, making a soft whooshing sound as the leaves and branches lightly scraped the exterior of the house. You even heard the occasional hooting of a great horned owl. It sounded eerily peaceful outside.
Almost too peaceful.
Curiosity began gnawing at you. What did it look like outside? For an atmosphere so quiet, how could there be any infected lingering around like a looming danger to you? You imagined that, despite the abandoned houses, cars, and the utter chaos caused by the panic and bloodshed, maybe the night sky looked beautiful. The light pollution must have reduced significantly, surely people wouldn’t have been too stupid to draw attention to their homes by leaving the lights on. If the survivors – or any survivors – were smart enough to not make noise or sound to draw attention to them, then surely, they must have turned their lights off.
A thought crossed your mind: what if this new subspecies of diseases, the cause of this outbreak, what if it was mother nature’s way of returning to her original form? Culling the animals that corrupted nature in the first place: culling humans. Afterall, was it not humans that brought about pollution? Upended entire species of animals, insects, plants, and birds? Was it not humans who ripped through their own atmosphere, all for their sickly greed for cash? In a way, humans did deserve this, if this was mother nature’s punishment, this was a penance deserved. But, if you thought hard enough, humanity didn’t deserve this. The humans that contributed to collective good: mothers, sisters, wives, children, and good men, did not deserve this. You sat there, deep in thought.
Collectively, humans did ruin and exploit Earth of its natural goods, yes; but, when you separate them, and breath them of their own, their personal lives did not deserve to end because of a crime they did not personally commit. It wouldn’t be a child’s fault for pollution, nor would it be a nun’s fault for greed. In a way, for these innocent people, it felt unfair that they had to answer for others’ sins. If that’s the case, then, perhaps, nobody deserved this to happen to them. Afterall, did you, Yuuji, and Choso deserve this? No.
You mentally smacked yourself for allowing yourself to think that. You shook your head at the thought. This outbreak wasn’t happening just because some humans are corrupt, greedy, and evil, this is happening just because. Perhaps this was all coincidental and there is no greater reason as to why the world was ending. It feels better to think that this was just a blip that is happening in history and not collective punishment for humanity.
It feels better to have hope.
You sigh as you regret contemplating so much about the situation. Giving a second for your eyes to adjust to the darkness, you carefully rose from your spot, tip toeing around the couch to the nearest window, being careful of any low spots on the ground that might cause the flooring to groan beneath the weight of your steps. You made your way to the window right next to the main door, peaking through the slim crevices of the nailed wooden boards. At first, it was hard to make out anything. Much to your surprise, the streetlights were also out, leaving much of the outside world engrossed in an inky blackness. You pressed your face closer to the boards, squinting your eyes to focus, your nose grazing the splintery wood to get a better look.
Then you saw it.
The infected were right outside the window, unmoving, rooted in place. The only movement you can sense in the darkness is the slight swaying of their limbs due to the wind. As you saw them, you counted: 20 infected individuals. You felt a cold chill run down your spine at the sight. It was one thing for them to move around and sprint unnaturally face, but there was some sort of archaic, eerie feeling seeing them so motionless. Like alligators waiting in the waters of deep Louisiana, stalking their prey in the night, waiting for their opportunity to ambush. Despite the loud thumping of your heart in your chest, the idea to observe now on your watch shift crossed your mind.
And what a brilliant idea that was, too!
You made your way back to the couch, quietly tiptoeing once more, and stopping only to hover above Choso. He lay there sleeping and lightly snoring if you were close enough to hear with the notebook and pencil on the edge of the couch. Still completely embarrassed from your earlier encounter with him, you found it physically hard to even look at him right now. You took the notebook and pencil, cradling it in your hand, and walking back to your station. Opening up the notebook and readying your pencil, you saw something that you weren’t sure you even saw.
They moved from their spots.
Every. Single. One. Moved.
It had to be impossible, you didn’t hear anything from outside. No shuffling sounds, nothing. What was more horrifying was the realization that they also moved a considerable distance, too. They didn’t move a foot to the right or left or so.
Each moved at least five feet in any direction, as if they knew they were being watched and were repositioning themselves. You froze in horror. Unable to move, unable to breathe. You were scared to look away, worried that they’ll move again but closer in the split second that you take your eyes off them. But at the same time, you needed to know if this was a conscious decision that they were making. Were they moving in silence the same way predators do, or is this, by the grace of God, somehow a coincidence.
You clutched the mechanical pencil tightly, sweat accumulating by the humid heat radiating from your palm onto the pencil. As you closed your eyes, you began to count.
1…
2…
You began to hear it: very, very faint sounds of movement. Sounds of shuffling, heavy feet could be heard.
3…
The shuffling sounds were getting louder, sounding closer than you could ever be comfortable with. You couldn’t help it anymore and you snap your eyes open.
One of them was ten feet away from the window.
Close enough to see that their eyes were open, focusing on the window. Their teeth, or what remained of it, were rhythmically grinding together with the bottom jaw moving in slow circles to make minute clack sounds with the teeth’s impact.
This was the first time you saw its face, making out its unique features. It’s a man. Late 20’s with disheveled, knotted brown hair, caked in something red and thick. Its white shirt was torn, dirty with obvious patches of blood staining where the tears began in its shirt. Its blue jeans were twisted, contorted, in the way one wakes up with their clothes twisted and slightly off the body after a restless night of sleep. You made the awful mistake of looking at it directly in the eyes, and in the faint light of the moon, you swore you saw its lips twitch into a smile. The sight of it was enough for the air in your lungs to evaporate.
You drop to the floor, getting out of the line of sight, not sure if you dropped out of survival instincts or because of the fear that gripped your ability to feel your legs. Gripping the notebook and pencil for dear life. Maybe Choso was right, this was too risky of a plan to carry out. But how could they see you so well in the dark? Maybe your original hypothesis of them not being able to see in the dark was wrong. Maybe they have great eyesight, but extreme tunnel vision. Although risky of a move to look through the window, you now have valuable information.
Very faintly, you heard the scraping and dragging of heavy limbs on the pavement outside grow fainter and fainter, it was walking away. You felt your body go numb briefly, unable to feel your limbs. With the intensity of the standoff that you had with the infected earlier, you felt a static sensation behind your eyes along with ringing in your ears. This must be what it feels like to be petrified into stone like one of Medusa’s victims. But one thing was certain, you were right. Once they can’t see you anymore, they leave. It took you at least 10 minutes to feel any sensation in your arms again, but it took you 15 minutes to find the courage to write. Scared that their hearing might be good enough to hear the sound of graphite streaks on white notebook paper. However, nothing happened as you began writing, much to your relief.
You wrote everything you thought of along with your observations. Theories, new things to test, as well as general notes about the surrounding area. As much as it is important to learn more about the infected, you also need to keep tabs about the status of the outside world to gauge its dangerousness.
Time flew by, much quicker than you expected it to, and it was time to wake Yuuji up for his watch shift. Hurriedly crawling from your spot underneath the window back to the couch, you stopped right beneath Yuuji to shake him awake.
“Yuuji! Wake up, it’s time for your watch,” you said in a harsh whisper. Yuuji woke up with a small jump, eyes struggling to open.
“What? It’s time for watch?” He said groggily.
“Yuuji, listen to me carefully,” you hoisted yourself up on the couch next to him, causing him to rock slightly at the sudden depression you caused in the couch, “don’t go near the windows tonight.”
His eyes snapped open, shocked at the seriousness in your tone and by the contents they held, “W-what? What do you mean by that?”
“I was watching them, Yuuji,” you began, slightly frantic, “I was watching them on my shift, and they watch back.” You began to fidget with your fingers, rocking slightly on the couch until Yuuji took them into his, steadying you.
“Talk to me, what happened?” His voice tried to be gentle and protective, but the waver in his voice betrayed him, showing his anxiety over what you were saying.
“I watched them from that window,” you started, pointing at the window next to the door, “then I went to grab the notebook and pencil, but when I came back, Yuuji, they – they moved.”
Yuuji furrowed his eyebrows, “They…as in like the zombies? They’re outside?” Panicked, he whipped his head to face the direction of the window before turning back to face you.
“There’s at least 20 of them outside Yuuji, they stand…they stand so still. They’re so quiet, even when they move – but they only move when they see you. Please, don’t let them see you, Yuuji,” you kept stammering, a nervous wreck you became as you shoved the notebook and pencil in his direction. The sanity began to drain from you as you recalled what information unraveled on your shift. You never thought that talking about it out loud to Yuuji was enough to scare you again, but it was.
“It’s okay, you don’t need to be by that window anymore tonight. Get some rest, I’ll watch over you.” He stroked your hands using his thumbs, attempting to soothe you at the contact.
You swallowed harshly, “Yuuji, this might be beyond us and those movies we watch. I don’t know if I can do this.”
Yuuji’s face immediately dropped into a frown, “What? What do you mean you can’t do this anymore? I know this is hard, but we’ll get through this togeth –”
“It smiled at me,” you said, cutting him off. You saw Yuuji’s face twist into one of terror and disbelief. He opened his mouth, probably to find something supportive to say, but falling short on his lines.
Stumbling, he found some words to offer, “I know today has been really, really rough on us, but maybe your mind was playing tricks on you.” You bit your lip, reliving the moment that thing smiled at you. There was no way that your mind conjured that up, it was inconceivable. It was real.
“No, Yuuji, it was real…it…it smiled at me. While grinding and chattering its teeth…it looked right at me, held its gaze at me.” Your voice raw, straining at the admission.
It felt like the life force was sucked out of Yuuji hearing this. Zombies that smiled at you like you were easy prey sounded fictional, but your reaction was real – too real – to be faked. So, it must be true.
Something did smile at you like you were easy pickings.
Yuuji didn’t want to continue to listen to you, it was hard on his ears and heart to hear the terror in your voice, but, yet, you continued in your ramblings.
“It saw through me with its disgustingly glossy eyes, something nearly hollow but conscious enough to do what it fucking did out there,” your voice picked up in a panic, “this is so fucked up…everything is so fucked – we are so fucked, Yuuji.”
“Shhh shhhh,” he pulled you into a hug, “there’s no use talking like that.” He stroked your hair, continuing to give you soft shushes, hoping to put you somewhat at ease; and, if not, he’d hope that you knew he was at least here for you. Your arms took flight, wrapping around Yuuji at great speed, desperate for a calming touch. Desperate for something safe. “We’re going to figure this out, but in the meantime, you shouldn’t worry yourself too much about things. I can carry that burden…for the both of us.”
You pulled away first from the hug, looking directly at him. He offered you a smile, but you couldn’t bring yourself to smile back.
“Here, take your spot back,” Yuuji said pointing to where you were sleeping originally. You crawled over Yuuji, reclaiming your spot. Yuuji took the notebook and pencil that you handed him in one hand, and with the other, he tucked you in with the blanket.
“Get some sleep,” came out of his mouth, not so much a recommendation as it was a gentle command. Pulling the blanket closer to you, and repositioning yourself to get comfortable, you obliged his command. You let your heavy eyelids fall, hoping to not see the wretched, smiling figure in your dreams. Then, you finally fell asleep.
Notes:
I really enjoyed writing this chapter, especially trying to really hone in on the horror aspect of this AU. I'm creeping my cast writing this for y'all and hoping that it was enjoyable enough!
Chapter 3: Chapter 3
Notes:
Oopsies, this is almost getting out a whole week later than I wanted to, but I had to change the direction of this chapter a couple of times. Enjoy! See y'all in two weeks.
Chapter Text
Across from the living room, you heard sounds of sharp sizzling, metallic shuffling, and the sound of light curses. Struggling to open your eyes, you began to get up, propping up one forearm over the side of the couch to push you upward. Your body ached from the restless sleep you got last night. Although you had tried your best to listen to Yuuji’s advice and sleep, it didn’t stop you from tossing and turning in your spot on the couch. Against your wishes, you had vividly dreamt of the infected man last night. You dreamt that you stood right in front of him, rooted to the ground, unable to move if you wanted to while he was five feet away from you.
Swaying. Swaying gently in the middle of the day; staring at you.
In the light, you saw him better than you did in the dark. His eyes were hollowed, glazed, and jelly-like as if it was already rotten and slowly sloughing out of his sockets. The mouth, moving and grinding in the awful rhythmic pattern you witness when you first saw him. Except this time, after every circle made with his jaw, the gnawing and gnashing sound became louder and louder until the sound was unbearable for your ears.
All while he was smiling at you. You shivered thinking about last night’s dreams, only able to focus back to the real world when you hear bickering from the kitchen.
“Yuuji! You’re burning her egg!” Looking over to the kitchen, you saw Yuuji and Choso with their backs turned to you, hovering over the stove. Choso, currently stirring something in a large pot, began swatting away the thick black smoke that emanated from the “egg” that Yuuji was currently working on.
“I’m not burning it on purpose! It just – I don’t know – I think it stuck to the pan,” Yuuji tried to flip the egg on his pan, but it was seared down to the bottom of the pan.
“What? How? It’s a non-stick pan! How did you manage –” Abandoning his pot, Choso took over Yuuji’s station to try to salvage whatever was left of the egg, pushing Yuuji off to the side. “This is your egg now, it would be rude to give her this excuse of an egg.” You saw that he managed to get the egg unstuck from the pan and as he flipped it, you saw the charred bottom of the egg. Yuuji threw his head back in a groan, dramatically flopping away from Choso until he turned and saw you. His face instantly lit up at the sight of your awakened figure.
“Good morning, princess! You wouldn’t happen to mind burnt egg, do ya?” He grinned, hoping that you wouldn’t let him take the burnt egg (you are definitely going to make him take the burnt egg).
“Don’t listen to him, I’m making you a new egg. Something edible at the very least,” Choso said without turning to look at you. Still feeling the raw embarrassment from last night’s events, you decided to only address Yuuji.
“Yuuji, I’m not eating the burnt egg, that’s yours to eat,” he groaned again, you shrugged, “you made your bed, you can go lie in it.”
“That expression is supposed to be for, like, real world consequences. Not honest mistakes that were made with good intentions!” Yuuji sighed loudly, “I was trying to make you a nice breakfast and stuff, but since you’re going to bully me, you look God awful in the mornings.” He playfully stuck out his tongue in disgust as he made that remark.
You glared at you Yuuji, “What did you just say to me?” There was nothing but malice in your eyes and violence on your mind. You had just woken up to Yuuji burning your breakfast only to be harassed; you’ve never had a more irritating morning before. It made you want to hit him again, and to that, you began to. You slowly got up from your spot, about to walk over and hit Yuuji.
“Yuuji, don’t be so mean,” he finally turned to address you, only to slightly cringe at the sight of you. Apparently, Yuuji wasn’t wrong. Yuuji, seeing his older brother’s reaction, decided to not take the high road and, instead, let you have it.
“Damn! Do you know how bad you have to look for Choso to make that face,” he began cackling, the way middle schoolers do after pantsing their friend, holding his stomach with one hand and pointing at you with the other.
You froze in your spot while you felt your face light up in heat. Choso, sensing your discomfort, tried his best to ease your worries about your appearance. “Don’t mind him,” he nudged his elbow into Yuuji’s stomach, ending his laughter, “you don’t look too bad –”
“Wait,” you cut him off, voice cracking and rough from you just waking up, “what’s wrong with how I look?” You tucked your hair behind your ears, pushing off the tangled strands out of your face while feeling some strands finally become unstuck to the edge of your mouth. It was obvious there were chunks of your hair were still situated in your mouth. Choso, looking uncomfortable, started stumbling on his words.
“I mean you – uh – there’s nothing wrong, you know some of us just don’t look our best in the mornings that all!” You felt your jaw drop and Yuuji began to laugh once more.
“Yuuji,” you snapped, eyes zeroing in on him. If Choso wasn’t bold enough to tell you the truth, you know Yuuji would. He quickly stopped laughing and straightened up, afraid that you’re going to hit him. “You tell me what’s wrong with how I look like. Now,” you hissed, not in the mood for playing games right after waking up.
“Promise you won’t hit me?” He asked, cautiously raising an eyebrow.
“Sure,” you said, continuing to glare at both brothers.
“Wellll…your hair…it’s like…hm, how you say – a rat’s nest!” He snapped his fingers as he found the words to use, he continued, “and your face is, like, caked in dry drool. Oh! And your eyes look puffy and stupid!” He said with a sure grin on his face.
You growled, approaching Yuuji. You were about to hit him now.
Yuuji, now stepping back from you to put space between you two, cowered, “You promised you wouldn’t hit me!”
“Let’s not resort to hitting each other,” Choso said, putting his body slightly between you and Yuuji. But, for the first time, Choso was also slightly nervous that you were bold enough to try to hit him, too. It felt like he was dismantling a bomb, “you’ll feel better once you shower, we’ll wait to eat once you’re out” he tried offering you a nervous smile. Hearing his negotiation made you stop in your tracks, considering his words.
“You shouldn’t be negotiating with terrorists, Choso,” Yuuji remarked.
You cast another deadly glare at Yuuji’s way. You knew that you got fairly cranky in the mornings, but maybe a shower and feeling clean could lighten your dampened and irritated mood. You replied to Choso, “A shower would be nice,” your gaze softened, no longer the hardened glare it used to be, “is there maybe a way I can brush my teeth and also get a change of clothes, too?” You had a feeling that you looked bad – hell – you actually knew you looked bad. You were never the type to wake up somewhat presentable, every time you woke up, it looked like you got hit by a bus.
Hard.
Often, your hair becomes extremely tangled from tossing and turning in your sleep. Especially when you didn’t bother to do your hair before you went to bed in a protective style. It was definitely tangled, and maybe also covered in drool. You can envision yourself now: a tangled heap of hair, white drool marks all up and down your face and neck, and crumpled up clothes that hiked up in a weird fashion after a restless night.
A shower at this rate would be heavenly.
Choso, who is slightly happy that your deposition softened at the mention of a shower, continued to offer you all that you wished for, “of course. There’s usually a spare toothbrush underneath the sink, and you can borrow some of my casual clothes.” With that, he turned back to tend to the food.
‘Borrow his clothes?’ The thought of wearing Choso’s clothes was enough to snap you out of your nasty mood, and your eyes slightly widened at his words. Wear his clothes? The same clothes that had the privilege of touching Choso’s bear muscular body? It was a very simple gesture, but with the heat flash you felt, it became more of a perverted gesture: mostly due to you, not him.
“Yuuji,” Choso said as he continued to work on breakfast, “show her where everything is and then I’ll lay out clothes for her, okay?”
Yuuji nodded, happy to be saved from being struck by you, “follow me this way!” He motioned for you to follow him, and you waddled right behind him as he led you to the bathroom area. He led you from the kitchen down into the hallway.
As the both of you began to be farther from Choso, you whispered to Yuuji, “did I really look that bad?” Yuuji whipped his head back at you, slightly dumbfounded.
“Did you…actually feel self-conscious?” He scratched the back of his head, slightly confused at your question, “you know I’m just joking around with you, plus I thought you always knew you kind of looked like shit when you woke up.”
The two of you stopped in front of the bathroom door. You rubbed your arms, probably to comfort your growing insecurity, “I just – I don’t know – it’s one thing if you cringed, but it felt like, weird, when Choso did it.” You groaned quietly, recalling how his face twisted at the sight of you. It made your chest ache in a way you weren’t familiar with.
“Pft, that?” Yuuji said while swatting his hand in the air, “what does it matter what he thinks of you? You were just being you.” Then, Yuuji finally struck realization. “Oh my God… you like…actually care what he thinks of you,” the bold realization hit Yuuji hard, resulting in him not saying the last phrase so quietly.
“Shh! Yuuji, please keep it down,” you hid your face in your hands, feeling embarrassed and at the mercy of Yuuji’s loud voice.
“Sorry!” He started whispering, “I just didn’t know that you like liked him –”
“I don’t!” Your harsh whispering cut him off, “I mean, I don’t know. Like, isn’t it normal to feel embarrassed when you do, like, embarrassing things in front of people you find attractive?” Wishing the Earth would swallow you whole at this point, you let your hands fall from your face, revealing how red you’ve gotten.
“Heh, I mean I guess but it’s not like I’ve ever done anything embarrassing in front of hot chicks.” His triumphant and arrogant smile was quickly wiped off his face as you dealt a small jab to his stomach. “OOF! Stop hitting me!”
You frowned and sneered, “I’ll stop hitting you when you stop doing things that deserve hittings!”
Yuuji growled, muttering ‘bitch’ just like he did when you first came over yesterday after he was made to do dishes. He opened the bathroom door, pulled you in, and closed the door.
“What did you pull me in the bathroom for?” Annoyance and confusion in your voice.
Yuuji shrugged, “This didn’t seem like a conversation outside the bathroom,” he stroked his chin, “I don’t know, it seems more private. Like, ‘what’s said in the bathroom, stays in the bathroom” type of thing, you know?’ Your face fell flat.
“Yuuji, I’m not using the bathroom as a confessional place for every weird horny teenage feeling I get –”
“HORNY?!” Yuuji yelled, causing you to slap your hand on his mouth to muffle him.
From the kitchen, Choso raised an eyebrow. He didn’t clearly hear what was said, but he did certainly hear Yuuji holler something, and he was wondering what was taking so long for him to show you the shower. But, considering no one was in inherent danger, he shrugged, continuing to make oatmeal and eggs.
Back in the bathroom, Yuuji’s face had gone green with disgust as you were shushing him.
“I’m sorry! I can’t help that you kind of have a hot brother!” You yelped as Yuuji shoved your hand off of his mouth. All Yuuji could do was visibly, and dramatically, shudder in front of you while saying “ew! EW!” over and over.
Once Yuuji regained enough of his composure, he began to bombard you with questions, “Why do you even like him? He’s too old for you! And how long has this disgusting attraction been going on for, hm? Have you no shame?! Why can’t you be into other guys that aren’t my brother!” Your face curled into one of annoyance hearing him. Was it so unbelievable that his brother was attractive? Or that his best friend could see that? “I know last night we had that talk or whatever on the couch about us always being together and if you got with my brother we could always stick by each other’s side, but, like, I was only being partially honest!”
Your pinched the bridge of your nose, “Yuuji, I am 17 years old and Choso is 19, AND we’ve all known each other for ages. And, what? You don’t want to be together as we grow up now?”
“No! I meant that part,” Yuuji groaned, “I was just joking about you and Choso getting together…that part…like the part where I said ‘y’know if you guys get married and you become my sister-in-law that works out’…in reality I find it weird.”
You quirked an eyebrow, “So you do feel weird about me liking your brother?”
“Yes, because what if it doesn’t work out? I know the end of the world is more of a pressing matter, but that doesn’t mean it won’t be awkward if things don’t work out. And I mean, what if he doesn’t even like you back and I have to see you pine for him? Close proximity pining makes me uncomfortable!” Yuuji continued to whine. You rolled your eyes at his dramatic speech, not impressed at all.
“Yuuji, none of that is an issue for you at all. If anything, most of those are issues for me!” You sighed, “Listen, I know it’s weird because he’s your brother, but you’re also still my friend. We’re still friends. It’s not like I’m going to actively pursue him either but Yuuji, I want you to, like, I don’t know, support me on this or something…I just don’t want to feel shunned for liking someone else.”
Yuuji squinted his eyes at you as if he was investigating you, “So you’re admitting you do like him, and it’s more than attraction.”
You scoffed, “You know what I mean, Yuuji. I’m allowed to have feelings and find other people attractive, even if that means I find your brother attractive. I just don’t want this to be a weird thing between us.”
“But it is weird! You think my brother is hot, or worse, you think he’s handsome.”
“What’s the difference?” Annoyance, again, bubbling in your tone.
“If you find him hot then it’s, like, a superficial thing. If you find him handsome, it’s a deeper thing, you know? It just feels more intimate. Like, if someone were to ask me if I thought you were hot, I’d flat out say no.”
That earned a glare from you.
But he continued, “but I would say that you’re beautiful instead. And that you’re beautiful because you’re funny, you’re smart, and you care for your friends no matter how hard you hit me sometimes. ‘Handsome’ and ‘beautiful’ are, like, deeper in that way. If you called him handsome, I’d know that you really liked him because you would also be attracted to his other attributes.”
That shocked you. You didn’t consider that Yuuji had such a stance on those words or that he even considered them to mean different things. Did you consider Choso hot, or did you consider him handsome? If you thought about it, you only found him hot. It’s been years since you’ve regularly interacted with Choso, and you’ve never really connected with him on a deeper level before. But you could easily say that he’s physically attractive. You like how the purple-ish bags underneath his eyes complement his dark, brown eyes. You like how his ponytails bob up and down every time he moves. You like how he took charge of situations and stepped up to protect others. He also had nicely defined arms, which you do value in a man, as well as a nicely defined facial structure.
But you know nothing else about him. You don’t know his favorite drink, his favorite food, what his biggest fears are, and what he dreams of. As a person, you don’t know Choso. As a hottie, you know Choso.
You sighed, looking at Yuuji, “Yuuji, I just think he’s hot, alright? There’s no need to worry about anything okay?”
He shuddered at your admission, “Yuck,” he gagged, “just don’t be, like, weird, okay? Also, it’s time to take a shower, you wreak, dude.” With that, he plugged his nose, waving the air around him, and took off from the bathroom. Not without you kicking the back of his right leg though of course.
Despite all of Yuuji’s yapping, he still didn’t even show you how the shower worked or where the spare toothbrush was, but you’ll make do. You started by scavenging the bottom drawer underneath the sink, hoping to find something of use. Inside, you found the spare toothbrush, unused and still in its original packaging, and got to brushing your teeth. Fresh peppermint hit your nose and tongue with each brush you took to your teeth. You allowed the fresh sensation to hit you like a wave, savoring how clean your mouth felt.
Turning your attention to the shower, you began to twist knobs, hoping to get you nice, warm water. It took a couple of tries, but eventually you succeeded in getting warm water to spew out of the shower head. You undressed yourself, neatly laying your dirty clothes on the sink, and stepped inside. As you began washing your hair, you heard soft knocking at the door.
The muffled voice of Choso rang out over the water hitting the bottom of the shower, “Here’s some clean clothes for you, I tried picking out things that might fit you. They’ll be in front of the door ready for you to take.” You replied with a quick “thank you” as you continued to clean yourself, making sure to double clean your whole body. The events of last night flashed in your mind, sending a shock wave of fresh embarrassment back to the forefront of your mind. It only made you scrub yourself harder, hoping to wash the cringieness away but to no avail.
After a solid 10 minutes, you turned off the shower, wrapped your body in a towel, and went to open the door to retrieve the clothes that Choso so graciously lent you. He gave you an oversized shirt (oversized for you, at least), a pair of boxers, socks, and lounge shorts. You blushed slightly as you took the boxers into your hands and slipped them on. A part of you wondered how nicely he filled the gap in the boxers you wore. The shorts fit you okay, with some slack around the waist. The shirt, however, seemed to completely engulf you, barely allowing the shorts to be seen underneath. Just wearing the shirt, it smelled faintly of him, and it piqued your curiosity of what he smelled like. At first, you wanted to be above sniffing Choso’s shirt and have shame like a normal human, but you couldn’t help it, you had no shame. To your core, you were a horny teenage girl. You brought his neckline up to your nose and you gave it a small sniff. The smell was heavy, with your nose so close, it smelled like he lightly sprayed cologne on it. Maybe he did. It smelled of amber and musk with the lingering smell of apple. It smelled amazing. A part of you wondered why he never wore anything like this, but that could be because he never had the occasion to. Your cheeks warmed, thinking if he would ever wear this on a date.
You gathered your old, dirty clothes and walked out into the hallway and into Yuuji’s room, where you put your dirty clothes into his hamper. Your next mission was finding a brush or a comb, preferably a comb to help detangle your hair. Scanning Yuuji’s dresser, you found a nice, wide-tooth comb, which you used to fully detangle your hair.
“What the hell is taking you so long?” Yuuji barged in his room, causing you to jump, “breakfast has been ready and you’re making the freaking food cold!” His stomach grumbled with his voice laced in playful anguish.
“Yuuji! You can’t barge in on me like that!” You swatted him with the comb in your hand, but Yuuji wasn’t having it. Not when you were in his way of breakfast.
“Don’t care, I’m hungry and tired of waiting!” He grabbed your wrist and basically dragged you into the kitchen, where Choso was patiently waiting for the both of you. Hangry Yuuji basically shoved you into one of the seats at the dining table before he began digging in. Choso scowled at him and his lack of manners.
“Yuuji! Don’t toss her like that, you need to be gentle!” He slightly frowned before turning to look at you, “did you find everything you need? Hopefully my clothes weren’t too big.”
You nodded, “Oh yeah! I found everything, and thank you for letting me use your clothes,” you gave a small smile, while he only offered you a nod in return. Cinnamon oatmeal and scrambled eggs were on the menu today, it was simple but filling enough to ensure that you all didn’t eat through what was left in the house. Choso was kind enough to make everyone’s plate, even putting out a glass of water for all three of you. You ate and sipped, feeling fuller with every bite.
Yuuji, who finished his entire plate at the speed of light, burped loudly and rubbed his stomach, “Man, bro, that wasn’t all that bad.” Choso’s face remained flat, devoid of emotion besides the smallest tinge of annoyance.
“You licked your entire plate clean, Yuuji,” was all Choso said in response to Yuuji’s smartass quip. Yuuji licked his lips and put on a big grin. Then, he looked at you and your unfinished plate. You saw that he was practically drooling over the food that you had left to finish. You frowned.
“Nuh uh, this is my food, Yuuji, you already had some,” you put your plate closer to your chest, one arm in front as to guard it from Yuuji’s vicious appetite.
The rest of breakfast was spent with you swatting Yuuji away from your plate while Choso finished his meal and went on to do the dishes. He couldn’t bear to see the two of you continue to bicker and fight about the food, so he busied himself with cleaning up. Yuuji had offered to help Choso clean originally, but Choso declined his offer, and told him to, instead, help you with your observations for today. The mention of it made your spine run cold. Did you even want to observe the infected still? Especially what happened after last night? You decided to let Choso know what happened.
“Choso…about observing the infected…I was able to do some observing last night.” His eyebrow raised, listening more intently to you while Yuuji looked at you with slight pity in his face.
“Could you see that well in the dark? Without binoculars?” he questioned.
You bit your lip and nodded slightly, “I was able to see okay outside, but…” you trailed off, not sure how to tell Choso. Your eyes darted from one object to the next in the kitchen, looking for any item of interest to land on that wasn’t Choso’s gaze. You heard Choso suck in air a bit before he spoke again.
“Something happened last night on your watch, didn’t it,” realization hit him, “were you okay? Did something serious happened?” He furrowed his eyebrows at the thought of something serious happening while he was sleeping, the last thing he needed was conflict while he wasn’t available to protect Yuuji. You stayed quiet for a while, head hanging low, wrestling with the events of last night. Your silence gave way for Yuuji to speak for you now.
“Not something serious…but she told me something weird happened,” Yuuji nervously began. Choso’s head snapped toward Yuuji, now on edge that his younger brother knew before him. He hoped that Yuuji wasn’t impacted by whatever you saw.
“You also know what happened? Tell me, I need to know how serious this is or if we’re in danger.” He sighed, “I’m not upset at all…I’m just concerned is all.” His eyes went back to your cowering frame.
You took a deep inhale before telling Choso; you told him everything. How the infected shifted fast within seconds, how they seem to actually have great eyesight, but how they also seem to have extreme tunnel vision. You didn’t tell him how one of them smiled at you, you didn’t see the value in telling him that detail. You abstaining that detail was noticed by Yuuji, giving you a sympathetic look.
“That’s…crazy, how are they able to move so fast but so quietly?” Choso knitted his eyebrow’s together, feeling troubled by the information that was relayed to him. After a while, he softened his features, “I understand if you don’t feel comfortable doing the observing then, I can do it.” Your breath hitched at his offer. Although Choso most likely viewed it as a kind gesture, with no romantic undertones to his words, the gesture seemed to make you warm inside. Feeling the warmth bubble and spread from your chest to your face, you replied to him.
“I…thank you…but I can do it,” you put on a brave face, hoping the blush wasn’t starting to make its way to your cheeks and nose tip, “I want you guys to be able to rely on me to do this for us.”
“Are you sure?” Yuuji spoke up, “there’s no shame in allowing us to do the observing, or we can even take shifts so it’s not just you all the time!” You turned to Yuuji, offering him a small smile.
“Thanks for that, Yuuji, but don’t worry. I think I can handle this; but, if I can’t, I’ll let you know.” That seemed to be enough for Yuuji as he returned your small smile. Choso nodded and gave a hum of acknowledgement to your words. He admired how you stepped up to this role and owned it, even when you were most likely scared.
Choso clapped his hands, “Alright, that’s settled then. Yuuji,” he turned back to face his little brother, “if you don’t mind, it wouldn’t hurt to still help her with her observations. Make sure you guys grab the binoculars in the garage for this round, okay?” You and Yuuji nodded, preparing to do your morning round of observations.
After Yuuji grabbed the binoculars, the both of you settled in front of the window next to the door: the same window you observed from last night. Yuuji, still being worried about your mental state, offered to do the observing just for the morning, giving you the task of writing detailed notes. He pulled two kitchen chairs by the window, allowing the both of you to sit down for watch.
“Um, are you sure you can focus enough to make observations on the infected?” You asked. Yuuji had his eyes sunk into his binoculars, pressed up against the gap in the wooden boards in the window. You were hoping that with the binoculars, the infected couldn’t technically ‘see’ Yuuji with the binoculars being the first thing they see within their line of sight.
“Pft, of course I can! There’s not much going on anyways, which is kinda boring actually.”
You sighed, “Yuuji, it’s better for it to be boring than dangerous.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know,” he focused for a brief second, “okay, here, I got something for you to write.”
With the pencil tucked in between your fingers, you positioned your hand and pencil onto the paper, ready to write notes on what Yuuji is seeing outside.
“There’s about…10 zombies outside. They’re not moving all that fast, but they seem to be walking in circles for the most part. There’s six guy zombies and four chick zombies, but they all look like they were recently zombified to be honest. Only one of them looks like they’ve been a zombie for a while.”
“The one that looks like an old zombie, are they behaving any differently?”
“Um, not really – oh wait! It looks…” Yuuji took a big pause, making sure what he was seeing was correct. The infected person you had encountered last night was still outside; it was the one that looked like the oldest infected person in the group. Yuuji gulped, a sound that didn’t slip by you.
“What is it?” You questioned, concerned over what Yuuji was seeing.
“It’s a guy zombie…and he looks like he’s walking, almost regularly. The others, they seem to move like they don’t have the best control over their limbs, but this one does. I mean, he still walks with a limp, but, his movements seem…less random compared to most. He’s moving in a zig zag motion.”
“A zig zag motion? Are you sure?”
“Positive, he keeps moving in that pattern but never goes farther than the house to our left and right. It’s like he’s stuck in a loop of some sort.”
“What does he look like?” You felt your heart thump up against your chest hard, hoping this wasn’t the same infected person from before. But it seems that hope is a scarce resource now.
“He has brown hair, a white shirt, and jeans. He just looks like a regular guy to me. It’s just that something seems off about him.”
You felt your body tense involuntarily; it was him. It was the infected man from the night before, but you weren’t sure if you should tell Yuuji. Realistically, what would he gain if you told him? It would help to put a face to the terror you encountered last night for Yuuji; but, unless it smiles at him or does anything else, it won’t do much good for Yuuji. As you internally fought over whether or not to tell him, Yuuji didn’t give you much a choice. He already knew by the troubled look on your face.
“That’s…was that the zombie last night that scared you?” Wordlessly, you nodded. “I’ll keep a closer eye on him then. But, on the other hand, he’s the only one out of the group that’s zigzagging. What’s more interesting is that the other zombies look like they’re purposefully moving out of his way.”
“What? They’re moving out of his way?”
“Yeah, come take a look.” Yuuji handed you the binoculars and switched positions. Holding the binoculars to your face, you saw exactly what you described. The other zombies were making subtle movements to move out of that other infected man’s path. It was unlike anything you’ve ever seen before: preemptive, knowing. Handing the binoculars back to Yuuji and switching spots again, you sat there, almost dumbfounded. Picking the pencil back up, you wrote down notes about their behavior. Could length of infected status mean that the zombies gained more mobility, more sentience?
For the better half of the hour, you and Yuuji sat silently, with nothing to talk about or to report. Being on zombie lookout was quite boring, you find. Besides the zombie from last night and the other zombies moving out of its way, nothing interesting was going on. No zombie was making interesting moves, no unique interactions (no interactions at all really), and nothing out of the ordinary. Just boring, methodic shuffling coming from the hoard outside. To break the silence, you suggested grabbing a radio.
“Like a radio radio? I’m not sure if we have those, why do you ask? Not like we can play any music while we do this,” Yuuji asked.
“There’s an emergency broadcast station that they play at a certain frequency, maybe they have updates or something,” you let out a sigh, “you’re right…this is kind of boring with nothing going on. So, I need my mind to focus on something else while there’s nothing to report.”
Yuuji smirked, “Told you that this was more fun with action, but how do you know about an emergency broadcast?” Then it hit you. Yuuji was fully asleep when Choso was playing the news. He didn’t know anything about the borders being potentially closed, the nature of the disease, or anything else that was brought up. Your jaw dropped slightly before catching it.
“Yuuji…when you went to sleep, were you, like, fully sleeping?” You asked.
“Yeah, I slept pretty heavily last night.”
“Oh.” You let out quietly. He really didn’t know. “Yuuji, when you went to sleep, Choso put the news back on, they said a lot of important things while you were sleeping.”
Yuuji seemed shocked and turned toward you fully, putting his binoculars down. “What do you mean?”
“Well…a lot of major cities have already fallen completely to zombies, so they formed an emergency broadcast since the internet won’t work in those places.” You saw Yuuji’s face twist into one of shock.
“What? So soon? But the outbreak started yesterday –”
“I know, apparently, it’s really bad outside.” You said cutting him off, “what’s worse is…they invited this scientist lady to give her two cents on the situation, and they think they may have closed all borders to leave the country.” Your face fell, looking down on the ground. It felt like the world had abandoned you, because they did. No one was coming to save you. If anything, the world is probably waiting for you all to die out first before risking an international health crisis.
“That’s…that can’t be right,” indignation was evident in Yuuji’s tone, “how could they just abandon us? They wouldn’t, they shouldn’t. Not when we need help the most – I mean – if we’re completely closed off, and they won’t take any refugees, where the fuck are we supposed to go then? Do they expect us to just sit here and die? Or worse, sit here until they have the chance to flatten us with bombs? What the fuck were they thinking?” Yuuji was really worked up, thinking of how unfair the situation was.
“They say it’s a special type of bacteria, Yuuji, it’s not a virus…that means it might be able to persist outside of a host.” You sounded defeated, not bearing to look Yuuji in the eyes now.
“A bacteria, huh?” Yuuji slightly scratched his chin, “what’s the difference between that and a virus?” He asked with genuine curiosity.
You deadpanned, “maybe if Mr. Gojo actually taught your biology class you would know.”
Yuuji furrowed his brows, “hey! He was a great teacher!” Suddenly, Yuuji’s face fell until he wore the same defeated look that you wore, “do you think…everyone we knew is gone?”
Your face softened, “no, I don’t think so. If they’re half as smart as you they’ll be fine. And to answer your question: bacteria do not need living hosts to survive, but viruses do.”
Yuuji nodded, no longer caring for the answer, but rather thinking of all of his classmates and teachers. All of the faces he passed by in hallways, the few students that were always name dropped in hot school drama, and his past teammates on the baseball team. Were they okay? Were they holed up in their house just like you were? Or have they fallen victim to what was happening to the outside world? It twisted Yuuji’s chest, but at the same time, ignited something inside of his soul. If his past cohort of students did fall victim to zombies, then he was determined to not lose another soul to those things. He was determined to try to save any soul that he came across, no matter the cost of his livelihood. It was his silent vow, and a vow he did keep. Seeing the conflict that warred on Yuuji’s scrunched face, you tried to comfort him. You placed your hand on his knee.
“Hey, I’m sure most of our classmates and teachers are doing fine. They’re probably safe with their families in their houses, just like we are.” A small smile graced your lips, hoping that your false confidence could also somehow convince Yuuji. But it did make you wonder how hard it was to survive outside, and you wondered just how hard it would be to kill off the zombies that you may face. Internally, you hoped that you wouldn’t find the answer to your questions soon. You took your hand off of Yuuji, letting the moment slip pass the two of you. Yuuji was still deep in thought, not meeting your gaze. “Come on, let’s do something else, we’re not going to get anything else from zombie watch.” You got up from your seat, slightly stretching as you made your way to the couch. You plopped on the couch, sinking into its soft cream cushions, listening to see if Yuuji would join you. The soft scraping of chair legs could be heard as Yuuji silently pushed himself off his chair and walked over to the couch to sit beside you. The sofa sank slightly underneath the newfound weight that Yuuji put on the couch, letting off a soft sigh as he made contact with the couch.
“Okay,” he finally spoke, “what should we do instead?” He scratched his left eyebrow, waiting for you to take the lead.
“Um!” You started to hesitate, there wasn’t much to do in the zombie apocalypse. Sure, the two of you could watch a movie, but you weren’t in the mood for movies. There’s potential card games you two could play, but that could only last you so long. Where was Choso at? Maybe the three of you could all do something together.
“Well, we could do something with Choso,” you offered.
Yuuji scoffed, “Yeah so you could drool all over him again?” That earned you a frown. You don’t think you were drooling over him, actually, you couldn’t think of a time where you acted in such an inappropriate manner.
Sure. You sniffed his shirt, but that was in private.
“I have not been drooling over him, Yuuji.” Feeling defensive, your tone had hardened over Yuuji’s sudden comment.
“I saw you totally blushing today during breakfast today!”
“LOWER YOUR VOICE,” you couldn’t conceal your voice or your embarrassment, but you hoped that Choso wasn’t around to hear.
“HA! See! I told you! You have been drooling over him and you’re in total denial.” He playfully pinched your arm at your denial.
You swatted his fingers away and rolled your eyes. You weren’t in the mood for Yuuji’s antics, especially when this was an attempt to make him feel better.
“Yuuji, lower your voice, we don’t know where he’s at and I don’t want him to hear anything…it’s so embarrassing.” Your face flushed at the admission, but you couldn’t help it: Choso was a very attractive, very caring man. And you were starting to worry that your attraction would only continue to blossom as time went on. Especially if all three of you were going to be stuck in the house. Close together. Every day. “Actually, where did he go?” You realized you hadn’t seen Choso around the house after breakfast was over, and it wasn’t like he could wander outside. Yuuji opened his mouth to say something, only to realize that Choso had been missing for quite a while, and the house was relatively quiet beside the two of y’all yapping.
“Um, well, maybe he’s sleeping? Or something, I don’t know. He’s got to be in the house somewhere.” He shrugged, not too concerned about the spatial placement of his older brother. Your face fell at his comment. Afterall, Yuuji was making awfully bold statements about your feelings toward Choso not so quietly while he may be close by.
You began to fidget with your fingers, “should we check to see if he’s okay?”
Yuuji deadpanned at your suggestion, “seriously? It’s been maybe like 45 minutes at most since we last saw him. Trust me, you’ll be seeing plenty of him for a while.” He said rolling his eyes.
You scoffed, Yuuji was being awfully sassy today. “Okay fine, like, whatever. Let’s just watch a movie or something – wait – actually. I just had an idea.” You snapped your fingers, “go grab the radio from wherever it is so that we can listen for emergency updates while we just lounge around.”
“Who do you think you are snapping your fingers at me – OOF – fine…I’ll go and find it.” Hitting Yuuji was becoming more and more effective as a negotiating tactic, it nearly brought a smile to your face.
“Hop to it then!” You waved him off as he begrudgingly got off the couch in search of the radio. Surprisingly, it didn’t take Yuuji all that long to find the radio as he made a swift return to the couch. “Huh, you actually found that pretty quickly…how out of character of you.” You saw Yuuji roll his eyes as he handed you the radio.
“Here, I’m sure you know how to handle this thing better than me considering you’re Jurassic in age.” The insult came off his tongue so smoothly it nearly didn’t register. You were only a month older than Yuuji.
“Give me that shit,” snatching the dial radio, you began to tune it to 155MHz for the emergency broadcasting station, disgruntled that Yuuji had called you old and that you proved his point by flawlessly tuning the radio. After tuning, you gingerly sat the radio down in front of the coffee table in front of the couch.
“I found Choso by the way, and I was right, he’s just sleeping is all. Your knight in shining armor will awake from his slumber soon fair maiden~!” He clasped his hands together and batt his eyelashes, mocking you.
“Keep mocking me like that and I’m gonna make sure you hear every nasty little thought I have about your brother –”
“GROSS,” he gagged before huffing and folding his arms, “just turn the TV on or whatever, you’re literally no fun.”
You smirked at his admission of defeat before grabbing the remote to turn on the TV. You gripped the remote in your hand, and pressed your thumb to the power button. Nothing. You tried again, and again, and again, yet the TV still wouldn’t turn on.
“Um, what are you waiting for?”
“Quiet Yuuji, I’m – I’m trying to turn it on but it won’t turn on.”
“What? Give me that,” he took the remote from you, viciously pressing down on the power button. But to no avail. The TV wouldn’t turn on. You shot up from your spot, frantically making your way to the nearest light switch. You flickered the lever up and down, but no light would come on. Panic began to set in for the both of you as the realization hit the two of you hard.
The power had gone out in your city.
“Yuuji do you guys have candles? Anything battery powered?” It was hard for your voice to not come across shakey, but it couldn’t be helped. There’s no more power, and that likely means that your city has almost completely, or just entirely, fallen. There was no way to communicate with the outside world: no way to know if your parents were safe or had answered Choso’s texts about you being here. Yuuji, who had given up on turning the TV on, sat in stillness as his body tensed up.
“We might…we might have battery flashlights and candles…they’re probably in the garage.”
“Okay then…let’s – let’s go and grab some. We’ll need those for tonight. Bring the radio with us in case there’s any important updates while we’re looking, and we’ll let Choso know as soon as he wakes –”
Your timing had always been impeccable. Through the static of the radio, a voice rang out.
“Attention, attention, this is an emergency broadcasting system. Please listen to the following message: the military has mobilized across the nation for the establishment of civilian safety zones and for the enforcement of law and order. In accordance with Article 1, section 9, the U.S government has the right to enact martial law in states of crises. In addition to the creation of civilian safety zones, select cities will be quarantined to prevent further spread of the infection. The following lists of cities will be subjected to quarantine…”
They listed off at least 50 different major cities remaining in the United States.
Your city was mentioned: you and everyone will be quarantined. Which doesn’t always mean good things.
“Citizens within quarantined cities should be advised to stay put and to mark their locations to signify the presence of survivors. Survivors in these cities must stay put which is an official decree by the state government. More updates are to follow.” The static hummed once more, replacing the voice of the announcer.
“Quarantining and outing our location? Yeah right, all the more easier to fucking kill us off! I can’t believe they’re doing this!” Yuuji was enraged, but he wasn’t wrong. This could easily be a way for the government to minimize spreading the disease, which means killing people in highly populated areas who could easily spread it to other places. In his fit of rage, Yuuji took the radio and shook it, as if it could answer to what the announcer said. But as Yuuji shook the radio, he changed the frequency, landing on 66MHz, which prompted a different announcement.
“Dear survivors,” an unknown, deep male voice rang from the radio, “disregard the state’s messages. They are not here to help; they are here to kill you. Come to 38°17’52.7”N 80°50’01.8”W, we have found refuge.” Then, the message began to repeat itself. It left you and Yuuji absolutely stunned. On accident, Yuuji may have found the solution to the problem of being culled by the state. But you weren’t sure how to feel. Maybe the government, or military now, wasn’t set on killing you. Maybe they did want to truly help protect their citizens; but, how sure of that were you? Then, suddenly, a mysterious hidden message pops up on the radio urging you not to listen to the state and to come to their weird coordinates instead? Your whole survival and the fate of your life felt like one big toss-up. It’s fifty-fifty for survival: should you trust the military or a random broadcasting message?
In the span of a couple of days, the situation has completely broken down faster than you can comprehend. The second you feel like you could adjust to a new normal, something new comes to completely knock you on your ass. Not to mention, if you do decide to leave, you weren’t confident in y’all’s physical or mental capabilities of fighting off hoards of zombies. Everything felt overwhelming and suffocating with such little time to process huge chunks of change or information. You felt completely helpless.
“Stay here, I’m waking Choso.” Yuuji ran off while you continued to spiral.
‘Breathe,’ you thought to yourself, but you couldn’t. You got up from your spot on the couch and began to pace as you became exasperated. One moment, it feels like you could be a normal teenager, processing through normal teenage emotions and navigating a slightly forbidden attraction, then the next moment it feels like you have to fight for survival. You desperately wished that you could live the life of the former. This was supposed to be a fun summer before you and Yuuji graduated. You were supposed to get tanned, ride around the city, get fast food at midnight, and maybe even find a summer fling. But nothing can compare to the swelling sting in your chest knowing that you’ll never get that. Even if things do turn back to normal, you’ll never get to be 17 again and this moment will be lost forever.
It's frustrating. It’s horrifying. It’s devastating.
Today the power went out, but what about tomorrow? Will it be the water? Will it be the gas that fuels the gas stove? Everything was falling apart like dominoes, with one big event leading to a string of new disasters: fast in a way that makes time feels like it slowed. It didn’t take long for Yuuji and Choso to bust back into the living room. Choso bee-lined toward the radio, picking it up and intentfully listening to the looping broadcast that was playing on 66MHz.Top of Form
“This is what we accidentally found after the emergency broadcast, we’re – we’re not sure what to believe anymore. But the emergency broadcast said exactly what I told you,” Yuuji turned to you, “isn’t that right?”
Choso turned to you, “is all that Yuuji told me true? That they’re quarantining our city and we need to out ourselves to the military?” His eyes darted to yours, anxiously waiting for your answer. You nodded.
“They…they’re going to quarantine us…yes.” You kept pacing, now that you finally said it out loud, it felt too real for you to handle. You abruptly stopped and collapsed on the couch, putting your face in your hands.
“Choso, we can’t stay here, who knows what they’ll do to us here!”
“I know, Yuuji, I know. But what if they’re actually here to help? What if we leave and we risk the only chance we get for safety? That’s too much of a risk for us to take –”
“So your main option is for us to sit and wait here while the military plans to gun us down?!”
The two brothers bickered, going back and forth about what to do. Stay. Leave. Survive. Die. It all sounded like muffled noise to you anyway. You had this disgustingly gnawing feeling that something wasn’t right about the emergency broadcast. It felt like if you listened to what the broadcast said, you would die at the age of 17 years old. Which is arguably worse than living and never getting to experience a normal teenage life. At this point, Choso and Yuuji were in the midst of their heated debate.
“What do you think? You’re with me on this right? We can’t possibly just fucking sit here, twiddle our thumbs, and patiently wait for the military right? This is insane!” Yuuji was now directly talking to you. Both brothers were frustrated, waiting for your response. You slowly brought your face out of your hands and looked at the both of them. You attempted to open your mouth to say something, to say what you thought. But, instead, your lips began to quiver and a strange stinging sensation pricked the outer corners of your eyes.
You were crying.
Tears slipped down your face and you tried to steady your breathing, although your breaths became ragged. You said the only thing you could squeak out of your throat.
“I don’t want to die here, please.” Choso seemed stunned at your display and with the words you spoke. Your eyes darted between brothers, hoping for someone to resolve this.
“You…we aren’t going to die here.” Choso quietly said.
Yuuji snapped at his words, “You don’t know that.”
“Yuuji.” Choso’s tone was that of a warning, urging Yuuji to drop the matter to comfort you more.
“Fine, if you really think they won’t do that to us. We’re leaving. You can stay.” Yuuji stormed off to his room and shut his door firmly. All Choso wanted to do was keep everyone safe, wasn’t that his job as a big brother? Now, his younger brother is threatening to endanger his life and your life all because he doesn’t believe the military is here to help. On one hand, he could easily bend to Yuuji’s wishes of leaving, and he can much more easily protect everyone outside if you all stayed together. On the other hand, he could try to keep everyone in the house together, but he had a feeling you and Yuuji could easily sneak away if the two of you worked together against him. It left him with only one option, then.
Yuuji’s bedroom door swung open, and Yuuji emerged with a backpack, a map, and a baseball bat.
Yuuji was about to begin his goodbye speech to Choso, until Choso said something unexpected.
“We’re leaving tonight, all three of us.”
Chapter 4: Chapter 4
Notes:
IM BACK!!! I am so sorry this took forever lol. Don't worry, I have not abandoned this fanfic, I was just kinda stuck on the direction I wanted to go. But now the semester is over, you guys finally get chapter 4! I definitely will not have a posting schedule since next semester is gonna be hectic, but maybe I can grind out another chapter or two before the new year. Enjoy!
Chapter Text
You and Yuuji were stunned; Choso’s words had especially left Yuuji feeling dumbfounded.
“W-what? You actually want to leave now?” Yuuji’s eyes were wide and locked onto Choso, mouth nearly hanging open as his back pack slowly began to droop off of his shoulders. The tension in the air was thick. Now that Choso finally agreed to leave, it brought about new uncertainties and fears about the outside world. Although it may be best for all three of you to leave, none of you had any idea what you all would be truly up against. Afterall, it was only until last night that you discovered that the zombies could see well in the dark and they could move inhumanely fast while keeping relatively quiet. In the small moments of your observations, it was clear: they were the predators, and all three of you were prey. You, at least, were definitely the easiest prey to pick off out of the three.
“We can’t back out if we leave tonight. Yuuji, if you're right about the military coming here to cull us, then I'll listen to you. You're my brother, and I would do anything for us to be safe.” Choso's gaze held onto Yuuji's with inherent decisiveness. Yuuji felt instantaneously lighter: it felt good to be trusted by his older brother. He straightened up, feeling emboldened by his older brother's support. Choso then looked to you for any sign or reaction from you, causing Yuuji to turn and also stare at you.
With all eyes on you, you certainly felt the pressure to respond, “I'm all for it,” but internally you felt yourself hesitate. Wasn't it you who cried at the idea of being gunned down in Yuuji's house moments ago? Why, now of all times, did you have to cower at the idea of going outside and fight for your livelihood? Your hesitation must have been evident on your face as Yuuji knelt in front of your hunched frame on the couch, placing his hands on your knees.
“Look, I know this isn't easy, but I don't think it's safe for us to stay here anymore.” Patience and compassion swam in Yuuji's eyes as he tried to calm your anxieties. You looked up at Choso, who was currently staring at you, and felt a deep embarrassment crawl into the pit of your stomach. It's one thing to look cowardly and frightened in front of your best friend, but in front of Choso? Absolutely not. You locked in, pushing Yuuji's hands gently off your knees. Which he responded with silent confusion.
“I-I know that. I'm just worried is all and that's natural…but I'm all in with you guys.” Your wavered, but you were definite, with your eyes only looking at Choso. He nodded.
“It's settled, we'll gather some more supplies and make a plan, we'll leave tonight,” with that, Choso left the living room.
Yuuji stood from his place, feeling oddly excluded and weird. You were never the type to look through him, but now you were, and worse, the person that captivated your attention was his own brother. Never mind that he's always been there for you: to comfort you, to laugh with you, or cry with you. His feeble attempt to genuinely comfort you will always be null in Choso's presence. He felt an irritation gnaw at him as he turned his back toward you. Crossing his arms, he felt off in the way you pushed him away to address Choso instead.
“Yuuji?” You turned your attention back onto Yuuji, who was standing motionless in front of you. But, instead of him acknowledging or answering you, he just walked away. An act that Yuuji has never done before in the 10+ years of the two of you being friends. The gesture placed a crack in your heart, and you couldn't understand what could possibly illicit this response from him. Eventually, you got up from the couch, too, and tried to make yourself useful. You gathered the original notebook you and Yuuji used for observations, and began to write a checklist of all the potential items needed.
“Canned foods, medicine, water, small tools, weapons, spare clean clothes, sanitary items, feminine products –”
You stopped writing, pencil stilled in your hand. You froze at the paper.
Obviously, Yuuji and Choso being boys, they didn't own any feminine products. That left you in a particularly tough situation. Without proper products for sanitation, you'd mostly be at risk for sickness or infection. Or worse, if zombies like the smell of blood, you would be making yourself out to be a big, easy target. You might as well just start walking with a big sign that says “eat me!” You groaned. Finding enough products to last you for a while was a large issue considering the implications of living without them. Perhaps there was a chance to visit a grocery store or some type of CVS so that you could gather hygiene products for yourself. But, if that wasn’t possible, you started thinking of ways to make make-shift hygiene products that’s easy to assemble and sanitary. You began to think about the type of clothe you need (mostly cotton), the sewing material needed, and anything else you could think of for you while writing it down in the margins of the paper next to the word “feminine products”. You definitely hoped it wouldn’t get to that point though.
The idea of needing to change out feminine products within a group of boys also made your spine crawl, but you needed to shove back that awkwardness: the most important thing right now was preparing to leave. Enclosing the pencil inside the notebook, you set out to find your school bag that you put down somewhere the first time you entered the house. Luckily, the search for your backpack wasn’t too exhaustive as you found it in one of the corners of the living room. Grabbing it, you began to stuff some materials in your backpack that were part of the list starting with medicine. You raided the kitchen cabinets, searching for medicine there, however, there was none to be found. Which prompted your next search in the bathroom. As you entered the bathroom, you bumped into Yuuji, who seemed to have the same idea as you to find medicine.
“Oh! I didn’t realize you were also grabbing medicine. Here, we can put it in my backpack.” You opened the zipper of your backpack up and motioned Yuuji to put everything he found in there, but he didn’t respond to you at all. Instead of placing the medicine in your backpack, he shoved it haphazardly in his pockets, not acknowledging a word you said. “Um…hello? Is everything okay?” Your tone was edging on annoyance without understanding the root of Yuuji’s frustration. Yuuji scoffed at you, eyebrows furrowed as he proceeded to shove more material into his already full pockets. Yuuji had never, ever acted in such a dismissive way toward you before, and not only did it make you confused but extremely frustrated. You began to snap, “Yuuji, I’m talking to you, HELLO?” you waved a hand in front of his face, which finally got him to speak.
“You’re being weird. AGAIN. About my brother.” He bluntly said. Your face went slightly red, but you didn’t know if it was in part of embarrassment or anger.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about right now, Yuuji, but we need to focus on gathering supplies. It was your idea to leave in the first place, Yuuji.” It sounded harsher than you intended to, words slipping through gritted teeth.
“You know exactly what I’m talking about, you’re basically sucking up to my brother and trying to act cool as if you weren’t on the brink of crying earlier,” he rolled his eyes at you, and you nearly choked at his words. Yes, you were on the brink of crying as you faced your mortality and the weight of leaving the house to face the zombies. But you never thought Yuuji would make a point to bring that moment of vulnerability up again. It made your blood boil.
“Firstly, I am NOT sucking up. Secondly, I am trying to be brave here, Yuuji. We could die if we stay here, but we could also die if we leave. Everything right now is scary and nothing is certain, and YOU have no right to tell me how I should react or how to manage how I’m feeling right now.” You started to become more agitated with every words that left your mouth. It felt like every atom of your being was vibrating out of rage and indignation.
He huffed, “You know that’s not what I meant! It’s like, I don’t know, you put up this weird front for Choso in front of me, and it felt like you did it at my expense.”
You rolled your eyes at Yuuji, baffled how he’s so fixated on how you view his brother. “Literally what the fuck are you even on about right now?”
“I mean, when I tried to comfort you earlier and you – you pushed me away in favor of trying to, like, look good in front of Choso,” he said, now starting to sound just as agitated as you are. He definitely got you there, though. You felt stunned at Yuuji’s sudden call out. You didn’t know what to feel angry about anymore: the fact that Yuuji is accusing you of altering your behavior over something that doesn’t really matter, or the fact that he was right. You know that, deep down, you didn’t want to look like a coward in front of Choso. But you can’t decide whether it’s because you refuse to be so publicly vulnerable in front of someone you weren’t close to, or if it was because you didn’t want Choso to think so little of you. Maybe it's even both. “It’s like, ever since we’ve been stuck here, you’ve suddenly changed and are weirdly obsessed with how he perceives you –”
“I’m NOT obsessed, Yuuji –”
“Then act like it.” He cut you off, “it’s like you become a version of yourself that I never knew about, and you don’t even act like the friend I’ve known for years. I don’t like it. If this was another guy, maybe I could look past this, but this is just weird because it’s him.”
You couldn’t help but get to a combative attitude, you were never good with people genuinely calling you out. Especially if they were being right. You scoffed, “What are you, jealous, Yuuji? Jealous that I like him and that he has my attention more than you do right now? I’m not going to be at your every beck and call. I don’t owe you anything, and I don’t owe you the title of ‘most important boy in my life’.” You slightly pushed him aside, took the rest of the medicine in the bathroom in your backpack, and stormed out.
As Yuuji watched your furious frame dart out of the bathroom, he couldn’t help but feel even more upset and confused at the same time. On one hand, you were right. Yuuji isn’t owed the title of being the most important guy in your life, but that doesn’t (and shouldn’t) discount all that Yuuji had done for you in the past. It still didn’t feel good that you were changing into someone completely different for his brother. He had a hunch that it could only end badly if things kept going the way they were going. Yuuji imagined one of two scenarios. One: you get rejected by Choso, his own brother – someone he very much looks up to- and he’s left to deal with the aftermath of the rejection from both sides, which seems very uncomfortable. Or, two: you never tell Choso your feelings, and he has to bear witness to your awkward pining and thirsting over his older brother. He didn’t like either scenario, but number one definitely was he least favorite. But something else also felt off in Yuuji.
His stomach flipped as he recounted your words about your attention no longer being solely on Yuuji anymore. For some reason, he didn’t have an argument against that. It did hurt that your attention wasn’t on Yuuji anymore, but that’s only natural when he’s only ever had your attention for years. Right? A part of him began to doubt if what he was feeling was right anymore, or if this was more coming from a place of possession than true platonic care. He shook his head out of those thoughts though, opting to continue to look for more supplies and pretend like this doesn’t put a dull ache in his chest.
Meanwhile, you huffed and made your way toward Yuuji's room. But once you got there, you felt lost and dumbfounded. That was the first fight you and Yuuji ever gotten into, and although you had your points and personal justifications, it didn't make you feel better. Now, you stood still, in the middle of Yuuji's room with an open backpack, lost on what to do to move forward. Shame clawed its way to the forefront of your mind. Yes, Choso is really attractive and seemingly a functional and responsible adult, which was intimidating to you. You don’t want to seem weak in front of someone who seems so strong and put together, especially not since last night when he tried to comfort you in a very uncomfortable manner. Part of you doesn’t want Choso to re-establish his self-perceived role as your big brother when comforting you and the other part just doesn’t want him to look down on you. It’s odd. You want Choso to see you as something more: more than Yuuji’s best friend. You want Choso to see you as your own person capable of handling your fears and doubts.
You want him to see you, and maybe what you could eventually be. Does that mean you want Choso to start seeing you in a romantic light? Not quite. But you yearn to be respected by Choso and acknowledged. You don’t want to come across as this fragile individual that needs their hand held as soon as something tough or frightening happens. You yearn to be strong. Strong for you.
Maybe you’ll apologize to Yuuji later or attempt to have a heart-to-heart. The last thing you want is your personal life to crumble in front of you while the whole world literally falls apart simultaneously.
Suddenly, you heard the door creak open. Part of you hoped it was Yuuji so that the two of you could awkwardly take back what each of you said and to move on to being friends again; but, as two dark pigtails began to move in your periphery, that became the last thing you thought of. Choso had entered the room, not expecting you to be inside by the shocked look on his face. You didn't have a reason to feel so embarrassed or to have your stomach begin to do flips when I walked in on you – after all – you weren't doing anything weird, you were just standing. But as you fell into Choso's dark and alluring gaze, it felt hard to rationalize things. You tried to pull yourself out his gaze, but you couldn’t stop yourself from staring. You couldn’t help but to soak in his facial features, they were captivating. The scar running across his face, the purple and pink hues that encircled his dark eyes, his angular and hardened face, the way his hair softened out some of his facial features: it was breathtaking. Whatever entity made Choso in the womb sure took their time in carving out the most handsome features they could materialize. You never felt such a strong attraction to a guy before, and that in itself is a scary experience, but you wish it would go away. This attraction is the cause of the friction between you and your childhood best friend. But, like Eve in the garden, you can’t help but to feel tempted at taking a bite out of the forbidden fruit.
“I'm sorry if I startled you,” he broke the silence, and your train of thought, “ I came in here to check for something."
“Oh! Um, you're fine,” you nervously tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear as you held on to the backpack tighter, “what is it that you're looking for? Maybe I could help you find it?”
“I think Yuuji has a compass somewhere in here, but I'm not sure,” he crossed his arms in doubt, “he mentioned it a while ago in passing because he wanted to get into wilderness exploration…but that prospect didn't go far.”
You couldn't help but to let out a chuckle: you knew exactly what Choso meant. Last year, Yuuji had brought up the idea of being more outdoorsy and adventurous, although you had your doubts on his commitment to it. With that, he bought a compass, outdoor boots, and a National Park Service hat to dress the part. But he never got to do any wilderness exploring that year as you weren't the outdoorsy type; and, in a fit of fake passion, he had thrown the compass out of the window. You distinctly remember telling him how dumb he was for buying all this gear if he wasn’t interested in doing this hobby without you. “Yeah, that's definitely gone, he threw it out the window last year,” you felt your eyes begin to roll before you could stop it, “leave it up to Yuuji to be such a drama queen.”
Choso’s eyebrows perked up, “He…threw it away? What would possess him to do that?”
You sighed, “He wanted to become more outdoorsy, but he refused to do it without me, so he threw it out the window. I can’t believe that boy sometimes.”
“Are you two okay?” Choso said, as if he was hesitant about bringing it up, “I just heard some arguing a bit earlier, and I just wanted to make sure y'all were okay.” His eyes softened at you, and it was nearly enough to make your knees feel weak, but you held steady.
“Oh, um, ha ha, sorry if you heard any of that,” you can already feel the pink rise from your cheeks until you realized a crucial detail about that argument: you had basically screamed at Yuuji for being jealous that you liked his hot, mysterious brother and that your attention was no longer on him. Pink quickly became red, which nearly became green out of nausea.
“Don't worry, I didn't hear the details or anything, just that you two were upset at each other.”
Thank fuck. The last thing you need is for Choso to know that you take a “liking" toward him. Especially after how his own brother has been reacting to your “fancying" toward Choso.
Choso slowly took a step toward you, and very awkwardly put his hand on your shoulder, “Listen, I know this is a hard transition for everyone and a really difficult time, but the last thing we need is for any distractions that would get in the way of us surviving.” Confusion filled you at Choso's statements. Was this a way of scolding you? Or trying to comfort you? You had no idea. The only thing you will maintain is that Yuuji started it. All of a sudden, you felt Choso's thumb very gently caress the part of the shoulder it laid on. It was a warm, gentle feeling and it put a fire underneath you, and between you, as he continued talking. “Just know that we're going to get through this as a unit – as a family at this point. I just want all of us to be safe.”
You felt your heartbeat stop, and your face dropped. Choso, once again, is self-inserting himself as family to you, which did not feel any bit of good. Any fleeting ideas of Choso enacting out a romantic gesture toward you was instantly pulverized as he said the word “family". You offered an awkward smile to stop your face from cringing at his words.
“I’m sure that this will all work out in the end.” That was all you could say with a tight smile on your face. He offered you a small nod and took his hand from your shoulder and placed it underneath his chin.
“What have you gathered already for supplies?”
“Oh, in the backpack?” You rummaged through the backpack, only to find that you had nothing inside. In fact, you were so busy arguing with Yuuji that you never realized you didn’t pack anything. “I was going to put medical supplies in here, but it looked like Yuuji already got to it. Guess I’ll stuff some extra clothes then and food…but um…can I ask you something?”
“Yes, of course, what is it?”
“You guys don’t happen to, um,” your face became pink again, “have any feminine products?”
Choso’s eyes widened, perhaps in shock, and his face shifted into something of embarrassment, “No…we don’t happen to have that here…you’re gonna need that won’t you?”
“Yeah, I’ll need some supplies like that.”
“Do you know how much?”
“No…most products like that aren’t re-usable, except for maybe, like, a diva cup.”
Hesitantly, Choso asked, “What is…a diva cup?”
You nearly giggled at his naivete. “Oh! It’s like a plastic cup you shove up your –”
Choso raised his hand, signaling that he heard enough. “Tell you what, we’ll raid some stores to find you something re-usable like that…are there any other products you’ll need for…um…that?”
“Not necessarily, no.”
“So, you don’t need any women clothes?”
“Well, what makes women clothes different than men clothes?” You raised an eyebrow while crossing your arm.
Choso scratched the back of his head, feeling awkward. He was never one to know anything at all about girls or women. Was there a difference in men and women’s clothes? He actually didn’t really know, but he started fumbling on the words to say.
Seeing how helpless Choso looked in talking about women’s clothes and feminine products elicited a laugh from you. His head is nearly smoking from all the overthinking he was doing. “I’m just kidding, if we’re on the topic of clothes, the basics will do. Maybe some undergarments and stuff.”
“Ah, right.” He sighed.
Feeling playful, you added, “I just don’t have any money on me, so I’ll have to steal some items. Cover for me will ya?”
Choso’s head slightly tilted in confusion, “Money? It’s the end of the world, you don’t need –,” then it clicked, “ah, you were trying to be funny, I get it.”
“Trying to be?” You huffed, “who said it wasn’t funny?” You eyed at him.
You swore you saw the corner of his mouth twitch up, “I never said anything about that.”
You smiled at him, soaking in this lighthearted moment you were having with Choso, until you saw that right behind him stood a glaring Yuuji. It quickly wiped the smile off your face. Seeing your sudden change in demeanor, Choso turned around to see his little brother glaring at you.
“Have you done literally anything for supplies?” Yuuji said harshly.
“Now Yuuji, there’s no need to be so mean to her.” Although Choso defended you, your eyes looked down in shame. You hadn’t collected anything yet, instead, you were here joking and talking to Choso. The shame was an odd feeling; it was immense, but where did it come from? Shame from indulging in a slice of life moment in such a dire time? Shame from talking and giggling with Choso after you and Yuuji had a fight over your changed attitude because of Choso? Maybe a mixture of both, but the feeling was enough for you to start to turn green.
“No…I’m sorry, I’ll start packing some stuff.” You quickly turned away and were about to head towards Yuuji’s closet to pack hoodies and raincoats before he stopped you.
“I’ll pack those stuff, since y’know, it’s my room.” Yuuji barged in and bee-lined to where you were heading. You know this was partly your fault for angering Yuuji earlier in your argument, so you retreated and began walking out of the door.
“I’ll go collect some basic food items then,” you said before leaving the room. With you out of the room, Choso and Yuuji were left remaining.
“I know it’s not my place,” Choso began, “but I hope that whatever argument you two had can be put aside.”
“Pft, yeah. Me, too.” Yuuji bluntly said.
“But that doesn’t give you the right to be hostile or rude when she’s not being hostile or rude. At the end of the day, the two of you are friends.”
“I know, Choso. I know all of this,” Yuuji tried to sigh but it came out as more of an agitated huff, “we’re just having differences is all.”
“I’m always here to talk about it if you need to, Yuuji.” Choso offered, his tone soft.
Yuuji paused for a moment, thinking about what his brother said. The worst part is, he can’t tell Choso about it. As much as it brings him much discomfort to think you have the hots for his brother, he knows how wrong it would be if he told Choso the real reason why you’re all fighting. “I wish I could tell you what’s going on.”
Choso sat on Yuuji’s bed, watching him as he began to pack select clothing items. “Why can’t you? Is it that bad?”
Yuuji clicked his tongue, “She’s just wilding out because she’s hormonal is all.”
“Yuuji.”
“What?”
“That’s rude to say about your friend, and towards girls in general.”
“Ugh it’s just that she’s –” Yuuji realized that he’s about to let it slip that you like his older brother. Even if it does infuriate him, he still has to cover for you for fear that the blow up would be immense (AKA you begin to hit him even harder for the rest of your life).
“That she’s?” Choso urged Yuuji to continue, motioning with his hand.
“She’s like…kinda into me.” Completely wrong. Yuuji cringed as the words slipped out of him, knowing just how big of a lie that was and how far from the truth that really was. It was hard for him not to bite his own tongue and choke on it, the feeling of disgust from his words ran up and down his spine, tingling him with every embarrassing vertebrae.
Choso’s eyes widened. He wasn’t sure if that was true, but after being absent for so long, maybe that was plausible? Afterall, he always expected Yuuji was the one who liked you and not you who liked Yuuji. Although, he knew that Yuuji may not be telling the full truth, he urged him to continue, “And, do you return those feelings?”
“Absolutely not.” Yuuji sharply said, nearly wincing at his own firmness.
“That’s very surprising to hear actually.”
“What.”
Choso shrugged, “I mean, I always thought you were the one that liked her and that she was the one who didn’t like you back.”
That defensive feeling began bubbling up in Yuuji’s chest once more as he huffed and crossed his arms. “That’s stupid, who wouldn’t like me back, I’m amazing.”
Choso deadpanned at his brother’s comment.
“I mean, I love her as a friend, but it’s hard to deal with knowing someone likes you when you don’t like them back.” Maybe if Yuuji kept up with this lie, he could get some words of advice from Choso on how to deal with your one-sided feelings towards his brother. Especially if it’s coming directly from the horse’s mouth.
“Well…I’ve never been in that situation, so I can’t really give you any advice on how to navigate that.”
Nevermind.
Yuuji felt helpless. Not only was he creating a VERY big lie, but also Choso was completely useless in giving advice on a position he may find himself in very soon.
“It’s whatever, I’m sure she’ll get over it and find someone new.”
“Someone new? That’s assuming the world goes back to normal, what’s stopping her from developing deeper feelings for you?” Yuuji stopped in his tracks. Choso was unknowingly expressing his own fate, and it was the first time Yuuji finally understood the gravity of the situation. If the world doesn’t go back to normal, you most likely won’t move on from Choso or find someone new. What if you just like him forever, or worse, as Choso described, develop even deeper feelings towards him. Yuuji’s face went pale. “I mean, that’s one scenario, she could just move on from you I suppose.”
“Let’s hope.” Yuuji squeaked out. It made his head spin to realize that he might just be stuck uncomfortably watching your feelings blossom for his older brother. He could gag just thinking about it. He wishes he could be supportive of you and your boy endeavors, but how can he when the object of your affection was his own brother? It doesn’t seem fair that after years of hardly seeing his brother, you were trying to hog him for your selfish romantic (or sexual) endeavors. Yuuji began to feel bitter, although he may not have expressed it so blatantly, but he had missed his brothers for all the times he had to be absent to provide for him. Instead of making memories with his brother, he spent most of it with you or in a quiet, empty house void of parents or a brother. How was it fair that, after all these years when Yuuji finally has his brother back, you want his attention when you weren’t wanting it as long as Yuuji had? Yuuji’s thoughts were suddenly stopped at the sound of Choso’s voice again.
“I wouldn’t think about it too much, Yuuji. After all, all three of us are going to be mostly focused on surviving when we get outside. None of us will have the time for romance out there, trust me.” To Yuuji, it felt like confirmation that Choso could never like you. After all, didn’t he just admit he wouldn’t have the emotional or mental capacity to handle romance? Maybe you’ll also won’t have that capacity once you all get out there, too.
“Right…you’re right big bro, I’m just tweaking for nothing.”
Choso wasn’t really up to date with youth slang, so he gave his most supportive ‘sure’ that he could muster before heading out of the room to collect more supplies.
After nearly a full hour and a half of the three of you collectively taking count of supplies, packing them, and re-itemizing your lists, Choso gathered everyone in the living room to talk about the plan. The plan was to get out of the city as quick and as safe as you can to the closest non-quarantined city. Which was a painful 35 miles away from you guys. Choso wasn't sure just how much he trusted the mysterious broadcast with those random coordinates, but he figured that it would be worth the shot later down the road, but the priority was getting the hell out of the city. Dusk was starting soon, and night might be the perfect cover to escape without drawing the attention of zombies or regular people. Before making an effort to the next city, the three of you would stop at the closest CVS or pharmacy to grab any necessary supplies to last them at least three months. As Choso was going over the plan, and then going over it again to make sure everyone was on board, you couldn't help but to feel your anxiety spike again.
You felt your throat go dry and your heart began to nearly thump out of your chest. There was no backing out, you three absolutely had to leave tonight, but a part of you felt an extreme sense of melancholy. You were about to head into the unknown and leave the safety of Yuuji and Choso's home, which you had always considered your second home. Would you ever get to come back? Would the military actually come and destroy your city for the sake of quarantining? You weren't sure. You weren't even sure about where your parents were or if they were safe. You had tried to contact them through Choso's phone, but they never responded, or at least Choso never brought up that they responded. It pained you to think you would potentially leave your parents behind, they most likely don't know that the military would come to your city, guns drawn, and “quarantine". You felt completely torn and your chest aches in despair. You don't know what would become of the future, and you yearned to know about your parents from closure. Maybe there was a chance to stop by your house tonight before truly leaving to see. Your thoughts were interrupted by Choso.
“Is everyone on board with the plan?” Choso asked. Yuuji nodded in silence, but you couldn’t help to keep your head down. Yuuji and Choso both noticed your very quiet demeanor, which prompted Yuuji to question you.
“What’s your deal? You aren’t about to chicken out are you?” Yuuji said, still in a snappy manner from earlier today. Choso shot him a warning glare, which Yuuji picked up on a muttered a very quick sorry.
“Choso…did my parents ever contact you again?” You asked in a hush tone.
The two boys held surprised and solemn looks on their faces. You suppose they had forgotten that Choso did try to reach out to your parents. There was a chance that they could’ve texted back and Choso never saw it, meaning that they’re safe and well. Or, perhaps there is a more sinister and gruesome reason as to why Choso never heard back from them. Yuuji turned to look at his older brother, who was pale in the face, his throat thick with anticipation. Choso let out a hefty breath, one that looked like he was keeping in for a long time, until he finally answered you.
“I never got a text from them,” was all he could manage to say.
Your face sunk in its expression, heart dropping with the potential implications of Choso’s words. “Do you guys…would it be okay if we stopped by my house first before we left...I need to know.”
Choso’s face softened while Yuuji hung his head down low at the concept that your parents may be hurt or worse. Yuuji couldn’t fathom the idea of you losing your parents or him losing (what felt like) a second pair of parents. Choso, on the other hand, felt conflicted about the proposal. They could visit your parents’ house, but then what? Would your parents join, would they force you to stay with them, would they even still be alive? All of the possible scenarios rushed through Choso’s mind, unsure of how to approach this with the group’s wellbeing as his main priority. He seemed to choke, genuinely unsure of how to respond.
Seeing his hesitation and his lack of response, you resigned to the notion that you will never see your parents again. Your gaze shifted to the floor, and you found your arms wrapping around your torso for comfort in silence. Perhaps it’s better if you didn’t know the outcome of your parents.
“I think it’s worth it,” Yuuji’s soft voice rang out. You didn’t try peering up at him, you only focused on keeping calm through slow, melodic breaths: you felt defeated regardless of if you could see them or not. The only thing that could bring you comfort was if your parents were alive, but those chances were slim given how the outside world seems. “If you really want to, we can go check the house…if that will give you peace or comfort…but if it looks empty, then – well – I don’t know what.”
Choso looked at his brother, slightly stunned by this new change of plans, but perhaps Yuuji was right. Maybe the act of knowing would be enough to bring you peace, instead of always having a gnawing feeling of ‘what if they’re still out there?’. Choso hummed in approval and nodded; and, for the first time since this morning, Yuuji moved closer to you and put his hand on your shoulder. Although Yuuji wasn’t completely over what happened, it didn’t change how he felt toward you. You were, and are, his best friend, someone he vowed to always be there for. Right now, you need someone more than ever. Yuuji’s eyes held a steady, soft gaze at you until you found the strength within you to finally look your best friend in the eyes.
The look the two of you shared was one that held silent confirmation that, no matter what, the two of you will always be there for each other. It’s true that you had been driving Yuuji up a wall with your feelings towards his brother, but Yuuji cared for you, nonetheless. And you cared for him back. In the short moment the two of you locked eyes, you felt comfort and warmth in his soft brown eyes. You felt hesitant in whether visiting your house to confirm the fate of your parents was actually a good idea, but you knew in your heart that if Yuuji was there, you could endure. Giving the smallest nod to Yuuji’s words, you patted the hand that Yuuji placed on your shoulder, a redeeming gesture compared to what happened earlier this morning. Then, you turned to Choso, who gave you a nod of approval over your request. You drew a deep breath before you spoke.
“If it looks empty…I don’t want to enter the house…thank you guys.” Yuuji took his hand of your shoulder and muttered an ‘of course’.
“Okay, after we visit your parents’ house, we’ll stop by somewhere for some supplies and head out of town. If something goes wrong, or if shit hits the fan, Jujutsu High isn’t too far from those locations and we can use that for temporary refuge. I want everyone to grab a weapon they feel comfortable using for defense.” Choso holstered his personal gun to his hip while Yuuji brandished his baseball bat. Which left you the choice of the old axe; luckily it wasn’t rusty to the point of unuse and small enough for it to be comfortably wielded.
Each of you had backpacks on that contained various items, with each backpack carrying a little bit of everything to avoid losing essential items if a backpack gets lost. Slinging it over your shoulder, gripping the axe in your right hand, you drank up every last detail of the living room before the three of you were about to leave for good.
“Alright, let’s go,” Choso slowly, carefully, and quietly undid the lock on the front door and slowly pushed the door open, allowing a gust of cold night air to nip at your face. The three of you began to crouch as the door widened, revealing the barren landscape. Your heart began to beat rapidly in your chest again, thumping with wild abandon as your reality sunk in further. You prayed to whatever God would listen that the zombies wouldn’t see you, especially the one that made direct eye contact with you. Choso took the first step out of the house and quietly ushered you and Yuuji to follow his lead, sticking very closely to the house walls. There were 15 zombies outside, 5 less than what you originally counted on the night that you were on watch, yet, luckily, that one particular zombie was not part of this group. Although there were less zombies outside than last night, it didn’t make them any less of a threat. As the three of you bore witness to zombie behavior at night, it rattled each one of you deeply. Each zombie swayed in spot, nearly in tandem with the night wind: their limbs bowing at the slightest breeze. Their heads were all down, looking at the pavement that lay beneath them until they began to move. Heavy limbs lifted from the ground they seemed planted on and took three random steps. All zombies took three random steps, and exactly three. Some moved at the same time, others were lagged in their synchronicity. But what was truly horrifying was the silence in which they moved in. Yes, the sounds of light shuffling can be heard if you listen closely enough, but it’s a sound someone must be actively searching for. Above all else, you’d be able to hear the rhythmic grinding and clacking of their lower jaw before you could hear them shuffle. A movement so animalistic and automated that it nearly blends in with the night ambience, like barn owls waiting in the dark to strike. The bizarre and terrifying display of movement kept you rooted to the ground until Choso had to motion everyone to move.
You forced your body to move, doing your best to quiet the ragged, shaky breaths that were slipping from your lips. Choso kept everyone moving through the driveways of close-by houses, using the abandoned cars as extra coverage for the group from the heard. One by one, all three of you would hop from driveway to driveway, hiding your silhouettes behind the cars as best as possible. Although the cars provided extra security, it did little to bay your nerves and was more mentally rattling to hop from cover to cover like a vulnerable tree frog hopping to avoid predation. However, this strategy proved to work smoothly as your group began to distance themselves from Choso and Yuuji’s neighborhood while getting closer to yours until you all reached the intersection needed to get to the other block.
There was no coverage for the intersection, only the stretch of concrete that stood between the group and the guise of safety by the abandoned cars. Which made it even riskier with how bare the intersection was. It would be different if there was perhaps a stray car right by that intersection that you could use for cover, but there was nothing. Although there were no zombies visible, the danger was ever-present. Everyone stopped as Choso scanned for the safest route to get to the other side of the road. You took this moment to breathe deeply: drawing air in slowly through your nose and gently out through your mouth. Yuuji, being next to you, softly grasped your hand to give it a reassuring squeeze. Without needing to look at him, you could feel that the tension and fear was shared amongst the group. It was evident in the hand squeeze.
Choso turned to face the two of you with his eyebrows deeply furrowed.
“Okay,” he said with a low, strained voice, “here’s what we’ll do. We’re going to go one at a time. It’ll be me, then you, then Yuuji. If anything happens, we act as a group – we run as a group. Clear?” You and Yuuji nodded, but it didn’t help the bubbling dread that was rising up to your throat, threatening to spill all over the ground. You felt yourself nearly go dizzy and faint until you realized that Choso was already halfway through the intersection.
He was moving swiftly, low, and silently: it was as if he’d done this before. A part of you had to admire how well he’s carrying himself amid the end of the world, and a part of you was definitely admiring how gracefully and confidently he crossed the street without being noticed. Choso had crossed the intersection without a problem, eventually hiding behind the next abandoned car on the closest driveway. But now, it was your turn. You adjusted the backpack that you had with your right hand clenching so tightly onto your axe that they began to turn pale in color. You saw Choso in the distance waving you forward. Scanning the intersection one last time, you took off. You kept your stance low and light, praying that nothing in the backpack would fall off or that you wouldn’t trip and fall.
You’re halfway through the intersection, feeling secure in your movement until you hear a faint clack!
You froze immediately.
Grrghk – clack! Grrghk – clack!
The sound was coming from your right side, only 10 feet away from you. You struggled to breathe, struggled to move. It was so close to you. You shifted your head slightly to be able to look at where the zombie was in your peripheral. From your peripheral you can see the blistering sores covering its body and what looks like foam falling from their hanging jaw.
It was 8 feet away now.
Grrghk – clack!
Your lips began to tremble, but you bit down as hard as you could to stop whatever sound was about to come out of you. It could have been a whimper, a cry, a scream – it never got the chance to leave your lips as a loud clang! could be heard from down the street to your right. Yuuji had bought you some time by throwing a can of food five cars over, making enough noise to gather the attention of the zombie: Yuuji’s baseball skills had finally paid off. Almost immediately, the zombie ran toward the source of the sound with its heavy limbs flailing in all directions at its desperate attempt to catch the sound. With the zombie gone, there was just enough time for Choso to drag you out of the intersection and behind the car he was hiding behind. You pressed your back against the car, finding your breath and regaining your strength. Still, you sank to your knees and pressed your palms against the concrete. Your entire body felt like it was shutting down: your chest burns and your vision nearly blackens. You figured that you would have more fun having a heart attack than doing this. The interaction replayed in your mind with different, and much gorey, outcomes. As you were trying to control your breathing, you feel a large, soft palm begin stroking your back. Choso’s hand ran from your upper back all the way down to your lower back in an attempt to calm you down. If it weren’t for the fact that you were close to death, you may have even slightly arched your back under his soft touches like some perverted tom cat, but this wasn’t the time nor the place.
Choso dipped low, close to your ear, “it’s okay, you’re okay…you’re safe now.” You found it in you to stand back up on your knees, combing your hair back and nodding at Choso’s affirmations. For a moment, the two of you lock eyes with each other. Often, when two people lock eyes with each other, a secret message is being shared. Maybe an “I do love you” or “I can’t do this without you”, but between you two, there was nothing to be shared but comfort and solidarity. And maybe that was enough to keep you going.
In the moment it took you to calm down after trying to pass the intersection, Yuuji had already it across with no problem. Just in time, too, as a small hoard of zombies began to gather where Yuuji had tossed supplies as a distraction.
“Her parent’s house is just a couple of doors down now,” Yuuji said quietly.
“After we stop by the house, we’re redirecting to the closest pharmacy to get some supplies,” Choso said.
“There should be a CVS around the block,” you quipped in, “not too far from where the house is, and it should be on the way to the next city.”
Choso nodded and a quick ‘let’s go’ before the three of you mobilized again. With each step the three of you took to get closer to your parents’ house, you felt a sense of melancholy and hopelessness bubble up inside you. What if the house is empty? What if your parents are still alive and they won’t let you stay with Yuuji and Choso? Would you really have to choose between survival or your family? Maybe your parents would come with you, but that’s an extra two bodies to travel with and to cover for. You nearly died passing a seemingly empty intersection, what about your parents? The thought made your morale sink. Were you really envisioning your parents as dead weight to the group when their survival should be seen as a blessing? It tore you inside as the three of you kept moving and marching closer to your house.
You felt like a soldier on the frontlines moving in closer to battle, closer to your demise. Until Choso stopped the group. He held his hand outward to keep anyone else from moving. You and Yuuji froze, clueless to why Choso had stopped you all. Unbeknownst to you, Choso could see your house clear as day. The door had been left slightly ajar, but indents on the solid wooden door can be seen as well as scattered claw marks.
Your parents were gone.
Choso’s chest ached with the familiar pain of losing his parents. Against his wishes, you, too, will know that pain. Choso turned to the group and looked at your anxious face. All he had to do was shake his head for you to nearly collapse. Shaking, you tried your best to inhale and exhale slowly to avoid crying, but the madness finally caught up. Your parents were gone. They were killed. Slaughtered. Eaten like livestock most likely. Now you just have to carry on and pretend like it doesn’t rip you apart for the sake of survival. Even though you try to convince yourself that there is no time to grieve, you feel your face painfully scrunch up as hot tears fall off your face. Yuuji is right beside you, comforting you the best he can and wiping your tears away. He pulled you closely to him, wrapping his around your upper body and pressing your face into the crook of his neck. Choso can only situate himself next to you and share your grief before they can take off to the next location, but it doesn’t undo any of the pain. In such a short time frame, all three of your lives have been drastically changed, forcing you all to adapt in ways no one ever thought possible. When Choso spared a glance at Yuuji, he realized that the loss of your parents wasn't only your cross to bear, but Yuuji's, too. Only that Yuuji had a better way of hiding it than you. As much as Choso wanted to give you time and space to grieve your parents, he knew that it wasn't safe to stay in one place to long. Especially if the zombies start to hear some of your sniffling.
"We...we can't stay here long, we have to move," he said with a heaviness.
But, to Yuuji and Choso’s surprise, you bounce back.
You wipe the remaining tears from your face (and snot), take one last deep breath, and mutter, “let’s keep going.” Choso looked at your defeated face, then to Yuuji, who seemed to not have anything left to say. With that, Choso nodded, and the three of you continued to the closest pharmacy to gather any medical supplies available.
Yopi (Guest) on Chapter 1 Sun 24 Aug 2025 02:03AM UTC
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chosxo on Chapter 1 Sun 24 Aug 2025 09:46AM UTC
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chosxo on Chapter 3 Sat 13 Sep 2025 04:10PM UTC
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KassioKat on Chapter 3 Mon 01 Dec 2025 07:46PM UTC
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RootsTootin on Chapter 3 Sun 14 Dec 2025 11:34PM UTC
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chosxo on Chapter 4 Sun 14 Dec 2025 06:42PM UTC
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RootsTootin on Chapter 4 Sun 14 Dec 2025 11:35PM UTC
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