Thus Always to Tyrants

by SilentMusiic

Summary:

You always thought you would escape royal life before it got to this point. Before your hand was sold off as a bargaining chip to a kingdom you’d never set foot in. Yet here you were, about to marry a king you’d never met.

King Eddison of Lumireign proves to be quite the enigma, an odd balance of curt and sincere, leaving you unsure of his intentions for this marriage.

Then there’s the mysterious and ever-charming captain of the guard, Sir Volt, who is somehow always there for you in every way imaginable, even with the secrets he seems to be keeping from everyone.

With growing desire in the kingdom for an end to the monarchy, and secrets at every turn, will you be able to escape this palace with your heart intact? Will you escape unchanged by your time in these walls?

Notes:

I'm back again! The plot of this fic tore itself out of my brain in a frantic mess at 1 AM a few days ago and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since.

Unlike 'Once This Dream is Over' I DO ACTUALLY have this story planned out already and I can't wait to share it with y'all!

Fic title from "Thus Always to Tyrants" by The Oh Hellos
Chapter title from "Would That I" by Hozier

Check out the playlist for this fic on Spotify to get The Vibes: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5PuaCfPGExnEhizFqKSehS?si=182e537558cd477c

Chapter 1: Your Hand of Gold

You had to hand it to Lumireign, they never seemed to do anything halfway.

 

The wedding gown they had made for you alone had to have cost a small fortune, all done up in lace and beading that clung to your torso tightly as if every breath was an affront to its craftsmanship. And you were certainly testing those limits now, watching the grand ballroom doors swing open on your matrimony. 

 

It hadn’t been a surprise when your father announced your hand had been sold off to the highest bidder- in this case, King Eddison of Lumireign-, but it had very much surprised you at how quickly the day you dreaded had come. 

 

You had always believed that you would one day be able to shake the shackles of your title. Dreams of running off and starting a life where your head was not constantly weighed down by the responsibilities and requirements of the crown you were born into were frequent. And you certainly created your fair share of problems for your father back in Hearthwyn because of them. You had run off no less than a dozen times in your youth, absconding to the nearby, thickly wooded reaches of your kingdom with hopes of finally disappearing so deeply into the rich greens and substantial canopies they held that your father’s men would eventually give up the chase and let you roam forever. Free. 

 

He had always made reference to the concept of you one day ‘earning your keep’ to the kingdom. You had spent many years laughing off the concept, blissfully ignorant to the way that- despite the land’s other acceptances- the kingdoms still used their daughters as pawns to further political endeavors. Your fantasy came crashing down one day several moons prior when you had overheard your father explaining to his advisors that he planned to announce your eligibility for marriage, hoping for a match advantageous enough to secure Hearthwyn’s prosperity for decades. 

 

Make no mistake, you loved your kingdom. You had been raised to admire her fortitude and strength as the central kingdom in the land. To respect the trade that her expansive countrysides, rife with tall trees, brought to your people and to your family. But Hearthwyn was just that; reinforced, all-encompassing, secure . It was a kingdom whose reputation was built on tall, thick forests and even taller, thicker walls wrapping around its borders and its palace. You had been kept under lock and key for as long as you had been alive. Rambunctious, yes, but still contained all the same. 

 

There was nothing you longed for more than to run freely through open air, to crash into the waters of a roiling blue sea and find that you could make any decision you pleased. The desire made itself incredibly apparent in the canvas and paints you would immerse yourself in after being returned to the castle at the conclusion of an escape attempt. You would swirl blues, greens, and browns this way and that to try to mimic the stories you had heard of the oceans that other kingdoms had easy access to, but every time would come up with a creation that felt false. 

 

The ocean called to you like the sirens sailors warned stalked her waters. The inability to ever feel her waters lapping against your legs or smell the way her salt tinged the air with something thick and present was a reality you refused to accept. It was the one benefit of this arranged marriage, you had come to believe; Lumireign bordered an ocean. The only problem? It was on the other side of the kingdom from the palace. You wondered naively if you might be able to convince King Eddison to take you there someday. The stable trade of Lumireign sea salts and fruit crops to Pantreia in the north clearly afforded the kingdom enough comforts to concoct such an elaborate wedding ceremony. Enough to afford the purchase of you like a prized chattel.

 

Brilliant gold adornments hung from every wall of the grand ballroom, accented with deep navies in varying shades that you were confident Hearthwyn would have never been able to afford the dyes to create. Indigo plants, you had learned in your studies, exclusively grew in Atthera; located on the opposite side of the land from Lumireign. It would have cost an inordinate amount to have the plants transported here, and even more for their powders to be applied to the fine silks that now graced the ballroom for this one day. A glance down confirmed that the dark blues were also embedded as fine threads in the skirt of your dress. 

 

The space, despite its near-overwhelming size, was filled with the sweet, indulgent smells of vanilla and spices that you could immediately recognize from the galas your father used to host in the palace. It soothed your nerves slightly as the small crowd assembled in the room rose politely to greet your entrance. You paced steadily down the aisle, looking for all the world like the confident and sure princess of Hearthwyn they undoubtedly all expected. It was odd, though. As you made your way down the aisle, you couldn’t help but notice that all of the garments worn by those in the crowd seemed to be dress uniforms. Creamy whites overlaid with golds and blues as if they, too, had been decorated to match the room. 

 

At the head of the room, you could see the outline of your soon-to-be-husband becoming more detailed with every step. His dark ensemble composed of the rich blues that filled the room betrayed his status, as if the ornate, solid gold crown that caught the light of a nearby window didn’t do so well enough. You schooled your heart into as rhythmic of a pace as you could, pushing at the thought that your last chance of freedom was slipping away with every step forward, until you found yourself turning to see the enigmatic king of Lumireign.

 

King Eddison was much more of a hermit than the other rulers of the lands. You supposed that made itself clear by the lack of other dignitaries or citizens present at a wedding of this grandeur. The only stories that had found their way to Hearthwyn regarding him were those of his bluntness and a dry sense of humor that even the most charismatic leaders struggled to crack into. A challenge, your mind supplied, as you finally met his eyes.

 

If you had been told that those steel eyes had the ability to look right into your very soul, you would’ve believed it in a heartbeat. King Eddison looked gruffer than you had imagined. Younger, too. Not the man of middle age- closer to your father’s than your own- that you had thought you would meet when you arrived at the altar. What aged the man most was the clear evidence of a lack of significant rest that left purple streaks beneath his eyes. If anything, though, he was handsome. As eclectic of features as you had ever seen on a person. Sharp jawline that faded into the gentle curve of his cheekbones, and a straight nose that rested between rounded eyes that clashed heavily with the intense look in them. You supposed you could get used to looking at a face as beautifully intriguing as his. 

 

He observed you with a similar scrutiny to your own. You imagined he was ensuring that what he had bought was worth the surely heavy cost he had paid. So much time you spent, dancing around each other’s gazes in a waltz that had no one leader, that you barely heard the officiant proclaiming you husband and wife until the roar of applause returned you to the moment, and King Eddison was holding out a hand to you. 

 

You took it with all the grace you had been trained to show as he escorted you off of the altar, which was quickly cleared by palace staff in favor of a large space to dance. From the king’s side, you could now see the small team of instrumentalists whose music lilted through the air on the breeze in one corner, arranged opposite an assortment of food so grand you could have easily assumed that it was intended to feed the whole kingdom. You were silently thankful for the warmth of the king’s hand under yours, otherwise you were sure you would have escaped your own body with the lavishness of the whole affair. Hearthwyn could never dream of creating a soiree of this magnitude unless your father had intended to invite all the kingdoms within the walls. 

 

The music that had until this moment been light and airy shifted to a tune more deep and romantic, ripping you from your revelry with a violence you had never thought to attribute to mere sounds. Your body rushed with muscle memory as King Eddison lifted your joined hands into a standard waltz hold, years of being trained to be a dancer worthy of representing Hearthwyn on the floor flooding you faster than you could think of it. 

 

The pair of you drifted silently, easily around the ballroom, the only pair taking any steps at all for a moment until a soft shift in the tone of the music seemed to signal that others could join you. Eddie was a good dancer. Sure and traditional in the way he moved, his hand never daring to drift from your waist as he guided the two of you around the floor. It was nearly impossible to ignore the way that, even as they split into partners and began their own movement patterns, eyes still seemed to linger on you. 

 

“Do you always attract this much attention?” You hadn’t anticipated your new husband to be the one to break the silence, and if you hadn’t heard the voice so closely, you wouldn’t have thought the remark had come from him by the way his expression schooled into the one of cool indifference he seemed to wear throughout the ceremony. It was the face of a king, you reminded yourself, a kind of mask to perpetuate the attitude that one’s people expected of their ruler. His voice matched that mask, touched with an edge of roughness you wouldn’t have expected from someone of his status and age. The voice of someone who had lived and experienced. You added it to the mental list of things that intrigued you about your new partner.

 

“Well, it is our wedding after all. Perhaps it is not me who is attracting attention, but you?” You quipped back to King Eddison, feeling a wash of pride run over you as the corner of the king’s mouth quirked in amusement, “The sparkle of this gown helps as well, I suppose.” Your eyes flickered down to the skirt of your gown. Large and made imposing by layers of fabric, the crystals draped in patterns over the topmost piece of silk were shimmering softly with every movement you made.

 

That earned a short, breathy laugh from the king, who pushed you away lightly to spin you in the waltz and unintentionally showing off in full detail the deep truth of your statement. Each crystal and bead seemed to catch the glow of sunset as you spun back to be chest-to-chest with him. 

 

“You are nearly blinding.” He muttered to you alone, that odd quarter-smile still teasing on his lips and betraying the joke of his statement. You hadn’t considered it possible that he would be the type to joke back at you, but found pleasant surprise in the warmth the quiet act had sprouted in your heart. A shimmer of hope almost as bright as that of your bedazzlements.

 

“Perhaps I will request that all my garments be so embellished. Keep you on your toes.” You chanced a move slightly closer to him during the next motion in the dance, deriving a moment of sweet enjoyment from the way the hand on your waist slid ever-so-slightly further around, preventing you from recreating the space you had previously maintained, even if you had wanted to. 

 

“You’ve got a sense of humor. ‘Wasn’t expecting that.” King Eddison hesitantly pulled away from you to bow, the song attached to that particular waltz coming to a slow end. His dark hair shone in the light of the massive chandelier hanging from the center of the room, a gleam that alerted you to the fact that the sun had long slipped below the horizon line, and the ballroom had been coated in a warm orange glow created by the candles and chandeliers that lined it up and down from every angle. You lowered into a deep curtsy to the king, who rose with you and offered his arm for you to take. A smile found its home on your lips at the gesture, and you easily wrapped your arm around his, allowing him to lead you to the vast table of mouth-watering delicacies to continue your conversation. Even as you walked off of the dance floor, you still felt as if there were eyes on you. You chalked it up to your new status, even as the feeling crept over your shoulder like a poison in your veins.

 

“Quite the compliment from the stoic King Eddison I have heard so little about.” You met the king’s comment easily, though neither of you held any ill will behind the words you shared. King Eddison has just selected a small piece of toasted bread topped with strawberries, a dark-colored sticky sauce, and flakes that you could only identify as Lumireignian sea salt and moved to bite into the morsel when he reacted to your statement. He shook his head lightly and flicked his hand back and forth in front of his neck as he swallowed down the bite. You couldn’t fight the minute laugh that bubbled forth at the sudden casualness of the action. 

 

“No need for my title, please.” Eddison corrected, tilting his head towards the spread as if to signal that you select something of your own to eat. You had meant to refuse, to be as polite and ladylike as you had been trained to be all these years, but your eyes caught on a plate of small tarts further down the table. They were topped with what you could see were slices of brightly-colored peaches. You had heard tales about the quality of Lumireignian fruit, but the trade system did not favor their delivery to Hearthwyn. Eddison watched you thoughtfully throughout the motions of your selecting one of the tarts and taking your first bite. It was unlike anything you had ever tasted before. Sharpness and sweetness and a soft tang from the cream that laid under the fruit played together in a beautiful harmony that you weren’t sure could be replicated in any kingdom but this. 

 

“If all of the food is like this then at the very least, dear Eddison, I believe we could grow to be great friends.” Your eyes must have betrayed your feelings towards the treat, as Eddison’s wry smile easily formed into a laugh that rang like a bell in your mind. You would certainly enjoy hearing that more frequently. You polished off the remainder of the tart in two bites, patting at your lips to ensure no offending crumbs had been left behind. Eddison simply shook his head with a shallow fondness.

 

“We’ll see about that, sparkler,” his arm was once again extended to you in invitation, “but I think so, too.” As you accepted the silent gesture, you noticed that the ballroom had seemingly emptied on its own without a word. Now, it was just the two of you remaining in the grand room, and the entire space felt just that more eerie in its newfound hollowness. You allowed Eddison to continue to lead you, mentally doing your best to map out the pathway you’d followed so that you would be at least a bit less lost come tomorrow. The two of you ventured up a staircase to the rear of the room, taking a right down a long hallway and up another staircase to two sets of identical wooden doors. 

 

To your surprise, Eddison stopped outside of the first set, taking a moment to hold your hands in his own before allowing you to pull away and starting his path towards the second set. 

 

You were immediately hit with confusion. According to all traditions that you had listened to rattled off in your time as a royal, the most common and easily accepted was that a man and woman spent their first night married together to consummate the marriage. To have Eddison walk away from you so easily was a jarring feeling, and instantly set your calm and collected demeanor off its track. 

 

“Are you not, I mean, shall we, I-,” You paused when Eddison quirked an eyebrow at you, willing you to take a breath and begin your question over again, “Are we not meant to go to bed together on our wedding night?”

 

Eddison smiled at the notion as if you had just hit him with another quip, and simply shook his head, portraying the idea that this was a long-forgone conclusion that needed no more discussion. 

 

“We just met. I won’t make you follow that, sparkler. We can discuss it more when they start begging for an heir.” His hand wrapped easily around the hanging handle of his chambers, giving it a sharp tug that betrayed his familiarity with the eccentricities of the wood. He started in towards the room, ready to step away from you fully for the night, but stopped himself suddenly with a look back to you. 

 

“Oh, since we’re married now and all, you can call me Eddie.” Eddie’s smile lit over his lips, but the slight tension you saw drawing in his cheeks and the way that his eyes looked at you with something like trust shining in them already betrayed the fact that this was not a part of himself he showed many people. “Sleep well, my queen.” You nodded to him.

 

“And you, my king.” You bade him with a similar, softer grin. Parting ways, you felt your new life beginning to settle comfortably in your bones.

Chapter 2: Passing Notes in Secrecy

Summary:

Your first day as queen has some unexpected bumps in the road, and some unconventional introductions.

Notes:

Chapter title is from Enchanted by Taylor Swift!

You rose alone in your queen’s chambers, unexpected, but a concept you were grateful for as you took in the grandeur of the room you had been given. High ceilings that were impossibly higher in the center, a grand chandelier adorned in crystal hanging from one spot in the room, although it seemed there would be no need for it until much later in the day with the sheer amount of morning light that pierced through the windows on the long side of the chamber. There was a golden handle on two of the tall windows, betraying their true identity as doors, and although the notion of a balcony intrigued you in the moment, you felt entirely too underdressed to be standing outside at present. 

 

An intricate wooden door held a space in the wall directly across from your bed and, based on what comparatively limited space you had seen in this hallway, you had to assume that it connected your bedroom to Eddie’s. You were incredibly grateful for the offer to forgo the consummation of your marriage during the previous night. Eddie was incredibly attractive, but he was also incredibly correct in the statement that you two were not on that level yet by any means after having only met hours prior. 

 

It seemed as though you hadn’t been entirely alone while you’d slept, as a cursory glance towards your vanity revealed a silver tray laden with foods of all kinds that set your mouth watering with just a look. The tray must have been placed fairly recently, as little trails of steam still wafted up off of the warm components of the meal. With the speed at which you found yourself moving to sit at the vanity, you would have thought you hadn’t eaten in weeks. Each item was more delicious than the last, but- as to be expected in a kingdom known for its fruit production- the small dish of sugared berries and light cream truly took the cake. You made a mental note to make your way to the kitchen soon to meet the palace chef personally. 

 

As you took the time to enjoy your breakfast, you noticed the small note that rested beside your tray. Taking it between your fingers, the heavy weight of the paper clued you into the identity of the sender before you even began to examine the writing. 

 

‘ Meetings all day. Sorry to leave you on your own so soon. Hope the breakfast makes up for it. Penelope and Dolly should be there soon to meet you. Feel free to explore once they’ve gone. Welcome home, my queen.

 

Your King,

Eddie

 

P.S. You snore. Didn’t know queens could do that. Cute.’ 

 

You rolled your eyes at the closing comment, fighting to ignore the way his designation of the action encouraged your cheeks to heat. The prospect of meeting new people was interesting, though the understanding that you should be expecting visitors at any time had you reaching to the hook that currently held your dressing gown, which would be enough to make your nightgown modest enough for such. Ready to play the waiting game, you finished off the offerings on the tray just in time for a soft knock to ring out from your door.

The door opened slowly, just enough for someone to peek in and ensure you were awake and decent before entering more surely. The pair that joined you in your room smiled as they caught your eye, shutting the door behind them. They appeared similar in many ways. Both with piles of curls pulled back and away from their eyes, both shorter in stature than you, and both dressed in identical, muted steel blue gowns beneath their cream-colored aprons. That, however, was where the similarities seemed to halt. One of the two had deep, gray hair that would typically signify an age that she clearly did not possess. A fact that stirred questions in your mind. 

 

The one with black hair spoke first, a sweet smile on her lips as she chirped, “Good morning, your Majesty. My name is Penelope, and this is Dolly, we are to be your lady’s maids.”

 

“It is a pleasure to meet you both, and there is no need to be so formal with me.” You grinned at the pair, happy to see that they seemed comfortable with this untraditional agreement. Although Penelope seemed to be nearly bouncing with excitement and bursting with energy, it was Dolly who spoke up next.

 

“We appreciate that, darlin’. It makes our jobs a lot easier when we have a good relationship with our lady.” The way that her voice lilted in the air struck a chord with you. Her accent certainly was unique. In fact, you’d only ever heard a similar one in someone from…

 

“Dolly, pardon my asking, but are you from Soffindale?” You hadn’t imagined the more relaxed and confident of the pair to be capable of lighting up so brightly, but her smile radiated pure joy at your question.

 

“I am indeed! You’re from Hearthwyn, right? Y’all’s border is a hop, skip, and a jump from my family home! Never been a fan of the walls, though, I’ll say.” Oh, Dolly was on her way to becoming your new favorite person in the castle.

 

Soffindale was a smaller kingdom, but its people were known for their kindness, their generosity. It was situated at the edges of the forests of Hearthwyn, and you’re sure you must have almost set foot on the other side of their borders on more than one occasion. The kingdom was filled with sprawling, open countryside, livestock farms being their main feature and requiring such spaces unencumbered by the woods to their west. 

 

“To put it simply, neither have I.” 

 

“Your reputation does precede you.” The pair of you shared a laugh at the idea of the stories that had no doubt found their way into Soffindale of the Hearthwyn princess who was routinely caught scaling her kingdom’s stone walls or traipsing through their woodlands in search of escape. You’re sure it would have painted quite the picture for those in the neighboring kingdom. As your collective laughter found its end, Penelope shook her head fondly at the pair of you. 

 

“We will be at your service whenever you should have need of us, but will be here each morning and night to assist with dressing and tidying the chambers and such. At any time, you can ring the bell there and we will be at your side.” 

 

The ‘bell’ in question was a thickly-roped tassel that hung on the wall just beside the mirror of your vanity- no doubt strung to a system of calling ropes around the palace. You’d had a similar one in your bedchamber in your own palace, but had hardly ever found use for it since your father had to reduce castle staff, removing your lady’s maids from their positions. It would feel nice, you thought warmly, to have other women to talk to again as you acclimated to this new existence far from home. 

 

“Thank you both, truly. I am excited to get to know you better as your friend and queen.” The answer was a bit more diplomatic than the situation may have warranted, but it was an easy pattern to fall into in such a position. With sweet nods of understanding, the girls got to work pulling garments from your large wardrobe for the day, and set to ensuring you looked your best on your first day as queen. 

 

The process did not take nearly as long as it did when you were in Hearthwyn- no doubt due to the extra pairs of hands you had here and the practiced way that Penelope and Dolly moved purposefully throughout the room-, and you soon found yourself bidding the pair farewell as you stepped out of your chambers to follow Eddie’s instructions; you were going exploring. 

 

Quickly, you would come to learn that the Lumireign palace was just as massive inside as it appeared to be from the outside. You had passed through several guest wings, a two-story library that you spent a bit more time in than you would like to admit, and at least three parlors by the time you found yourself standing before large glass doors that rivaled your chamber’s windows in size. Just beyond them, and extensive array of greenery and flowers that beckoned to you like an old friend. 

 

You had thought, coming to Lumireign, that you would miss out entirely on the beautiful natural elements that your home had wrapped you in throughout your life. But here was this sanctuary right in the middle of your new home where the colors were not Lumireign blues and golds, but instead the deep greens of your kingdom. Already you could see swathes of poppies, irises- flowers you’d surrounded yourself with your whole life- and you felt you couldn’t miss out on even one second more of being in this green space. The warm, fresh air swirled around you within a moment of opening the large doors, and you were instantly transported to that adrenaline rush that would chart a course through your veins when you’d slip through the guard’s grasp and manage to leave the walls.

 

A sick swooping feeling burst into your stomach as you realized too late that you had missed a step on the way down to the ground level. You braced for impact as your body canted forward and your sense of balance left you.

 

It never came.

Instead, your squeezed-shut eyes opened cautiously to be met with shocks of long white hair draping low, almost brushing against you. They largely obscured the face of the person whose arms were now supporting your weight, but you imagined the wide blue eyes that stared into yours could be seen from miles away. 

 

The arms pulled you to stand, and you unconsciously found your hands pressed against the stranger’s chest. As his hair drifted back to its standard location, you could see the sharp features he bore. Absently, you noticed that his hair was in fact pulled back near the top of his head, and had to wonder just how long it was out of this style. He was handsome by any definition, and it was only upon understanding that- and seeing his lips curl into a smug smile- that you realized your hands were still pressed against his chest. You pulled away as casually as possible, brushing nonexistent dirt from your gown as you attempted to return to some semblance of decorum.

 

“Your Majesty, a woman of your beauty simply must be more careful. I’m glad I was here to catch you.” He answered casually, as if he hadn’t just caught you absolutely ogling him. And of course he knew who you were, what an excellent way to make a first impression as queen.

 

“Well, you seem to have an advantage over me in both grace and knowledge. You know who I am, but I haven’t had the pleasure of making your acquaintance yet.” You made sure to steady your tone as much as you could, taking any amount of recovery you could make quickly from the fall. 

 

“Ah, apologies, your Majesty,” he dipped into a low bow before you, the deep navy cloak that hung over his shoulders falling over to one side as he did, “Sir Volt, Captain of the Arcguard.”

 

You quirked an eyebrow at that detail. The Arcguard; your royal guard.

 

“Suppose you were just doing your job then, Sir Volt? Protecting me?” You teased, enjoying the way his bright eyes seemed to narrow slightly at the implication. 

 

“I suppose I was,” his smirk quickly shifted into a much more genuine smile as he held out his arm to you, “I imagine you wanted to tour the gardens. May I join you? Perhaps prevent any other incidents from befalling you?” 

 

You hummed as you slipped your arm through his, excited at the prospect of being able to enjoy the greenery with another person at your side. “An additional layer of security would be nice. Thank you, Sir Volt.” 

 

Walking the gardens began as a staunchly silent affair. You simply promenaded the large pathways alongside Volt, looking out over the various topiaries and flower arrangements with an appreciative eye. The air felt crisper here than it had when you had stepped out of your carriage yesterday. Bright and earthy all at once in a way that no man-made act could ever replicate. Places like this smelled like freedom to you. Like the feeling of running far with arms outstretched as if to feel the whole world in one simple gesture. Your appreciation of it all must have become quite obvious to your walking partner, as an almost inaudible hum drew you from your quiet reverence. You turned your head to meet Volt’s eyes, and found him already gazing at you as if you were something worth studying. Worth cataloguing for another day. The attention made you feel hot, though if anyone asked you were sure to blame it on the sun at its peak in the sky.

 

“I imagine this place is a great comfort to you, your Majesty. Coming all this way from Hearthwyn,” when instead of answering directly, you looked around the gardens with a fond smile, he continued, “I’ve only visited once, but I recall quite the regal foliage at every turn. It is a beautiful kingdom, if slightly...secluded.”

 

Your reputation must have followed you further than merely to your lady’s maids. 

 

“So you know of my history then, Sir Volt?” 

 

“Of a sort. Though I don’t put much stake in tall tales. I prefer firsthand experiences.” That twisted little smirk was back, and you were certain that he wasn’t attempting to be subtle anymore.

 

“If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were attempting to court a married woman.”

 

“If I were?”

 

You stopped in your tracks, turning to face him fully as you pulled your arm away casually, hoping not to break the moment. You were married now, yes, but you weren’t blind. Sir Volt was an attractive man, magnetic in a way that couldn’t be ignored. And as you had discovered early in your youth, there was nothing wrong with a bit of harmless fun. You leaned in closer to Volt, tipping your lips up to be nearly making contact with his ear.

 

“You’d have to take it up with my husband.” Was that a shiver you saw rush through the guard? Either way, you needed to continue the game, and that required turning away from him and beginning to walk along the path you’d set once more. When he trailed after you with a thinly veiled excitable jog, you knew you had him. As he came to your side, his pace slowed considerably to match yours.

 

“I grew up with your husband, you know.” Now that was interesting. You found you could hardly imagine a younger version of Eddie. He seemed one of those people who were perpetually of a certain age, unmoving in time. Perhaps it was simply the stories you’d heard. The ones where he was coarse and unmoving in agreements with neighboring kingdoms. Even still, you were dying to know more.

 

“Is that so?”

 

“Indeed, your Majesty. We were boys together,” a fond smile had taken root in Volt’s expression as he appeared to relive the experience of growing up alongside the king, “We’d terrorize the kitchen staff to sneak us treats we weren’t meant to have, ran amok through these very gardens with reckless abandon. Nowhere in the palace was safe from our tyranny.” You couldn’t help the soft smile that the picture of a young Volt and Eddie causing chaos for those around them conjured. You had been a similar sort of mischievous when you were a child. The thought of you having such a similarity with your husband brought warmth to your heart. 

 

“Eventually, Eddie had to begin his lessons to become our king, and I had to begin my training to become part of the Arcguard. We’re still incredibly close, but there is no more rushing off through the gardens without a care.” Volt breathed a sigh as he concluded his story, eyes shifting away from the path ahead and instead falling on a nearby flower bush. He smiled, diverting off of your shared path for the briefest of moments before returning with a deep red flower held lightly between his fingers out to you, “For you, your Majesty.”

 

As you accepted the rose, you twirled it lightly between two fingers, memories of beautiful flowers that grew outside of your window in Hearthwyn popping up in your mind as if daring to forget them was a crime in and of itself. 

 

“Thank you, Sir Volt,” you considered the man in front of you for a moment, and let your smile widen at the feeling of comfort his mere presence seemed to provide to you, “There’s a type of rose that only grows in my kingdom, you know. Hearthwyn roses. They’re absolutely gorgeous when they’re in bloom. A little lighter of a red than this on the edges of the petals, and bright bee yellow in the center. They look like sunsets almost. My mother had several bushes of them planted in our garden, and there was a bush that I could see perfectly from my bedchamber. I knew spring had arrived when my sunsets began to bloom.”

 

When your gaze departed from the broad gardens to return to Sir Volt, he had once again captured you in that electric gaze of his, an expression of admiration and intrigue at once twisting on his face.

 

“My, your Majesty, I hadn’t known your beauty could ascend to even greater heights. Your eyes are...truly lovely when you speak of your home.” He spoke slowly, assuredly, as if every word was selected with care to bring that familiar flush to your cheeks. If all of the men in this kingdom had the potential to spark such reactions in you, you were in for quite the ride. Although part of you begged to tug at the thread that Volt presented to you, reality won the war in your mind. 

 

“You...needn’t use my title all this time, you know?” Volt hummed at this assertion, looking as though he had decided you were in need of studying once more.

 

“I must, in ways at the very least, lest I let you capture my very heart,” When you shot him a look that informed his that his cliches had reached their ceiling, a laugh bubbled up from him, “If you insist, may I call you ‘my queen’ in its place?” 

 

“I suppose that will do until I can convince you to let it go as well. Thank you...Volt.” His electric smile returned with a force, and it felt as though hours passed between you two in that silent moment. You simply regarded each other, understanding the deep bond that you were bearing witness to the formation of and entirely powerless to stop. 

 

With a step, the two of you were off on your path again. Walking at a calm, steady pace, you were surprised when several minutes later, Volt once again ruptured the silence between you. 

 

“What sparks your light, my queen?” The question caught you slightly off guard, a look that must have been very present on your face as it warranted another short laugh from Volt, “Sets your heart on fire? I’m sure not all of your time was occupied as a princess.” 

 

You hummed as you thought through your answer to the query. You had done several things in your time between happenings and the hectic social schedule you occupied as a figurehead in Hearthwyn. But truly, all of those things- the piano, learning the languages of neighboring lands-, they all paled in comparison to the moments of beauty you would find as brush met canvas. 

 

“I paint. Quite a lot, in fact. Some would even call me prolific,” Your eyes focused on a point over Volt’s shoulder, and the crashing sound of raucous dark waters roiling as they flipped, one after the other, filled your mind, “The one thing I’ve never been able to appropriately capture is the ocean.”

 

Volt tilted his head in interest, and you thought in this moment that he looked something like a puppy presented with a bone. “Why would that be?”

 

“Never seen it. Not in person.” You shrugged casually, although the fact tugged at your heart. Volt didn’t make a move to answer right away, and as your mind returned to the present moment, you noticed the way the once-blue sky had shifted towards a yellow-ish kind of orange, painting golden streaks all across the world around you. Volt still hadn’t made a sound, eyes flicking back and forth as he appeared to be lost in thought. 

 

You finally pulled his attention back to you with a light touch to his hand, and when those vibrant eyes were once again piercing through your very soul, you let your hand fall back to your side.

 

“Thank you, Volt. For spending this time with me. It was wonderful to meet you.” He nodded solemnly, clearly still minutely lost in his own world, and you shook your head with a smile as you turned away from him back to the palace interior; paying specific attention to each step on the way.

 

You spent the entirety of your maze-like return to your chambers twirling a blood-red rose in your fingers and attempting to calm the frantic beating of your heart. 

Notes:

A few of these scenes are very loosely inspired by scenes from The Selection series; this being one of them. I'm obsessed with the concept of royal gardens :)

Chapter 3: Lost Amongst Our Winninga

Summary:

Men will be men, and mysterious gifts leave you curious.

Notes:

Chapter title from O Children by Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds

CW: Brief misogyny

This had to be the most infuriating meeting you’d ever been a part of.

 

The Lumireign advisors were continuously talking in circles as they attempted to circumvent issues within the kingdom. Each topic was first dissected by one of the elderly men- why were they always elderly men?-, then suggestions would be introduced only to be similarly picked apart until one of them forgot about a previous suggestion and simply reworded what had been proposed before. You had been enduring this hell for nearly three hours. 

 

A cursory glance at Eddie gave you absolutely nothing to latch onto. His expression was stone, the only facet of it that dared to move as the advisors spoke in turn being his eyes, jumping from one face to another as the conversation swirled about the large, oval table. You were thankful, of course, that you had been invited at all. After all, most kings relegated their queens to being nothing more than portraits- to be seen, not heard-, and barred them from rooms like these under the pretense that it was ‘no place for a woman’. You thought it was bullshit. The sheer principle of it all was the only reason you hadn’t stormed out an hour ago. 

 

The circular nature of it all granted your mind permission to wander to the events of the morning.

 

When you had awoken, you had found a new item left on your vanity beside the breakfast tray you now expected would always somehow make its way to said surface just before you’d wake. You almost didn’t believe it at first; the bright orange-yellow and moody red being so vibrant and clear that you could’ve easily written it off as a dream. A memory determined to make itself flesh before you. A few tentative steps towards the display dismissed all of these thoughts as you took in the large vase of Hearthwyn roses that had made a new home on your desk. The light, floral scent that drifted off of them nearly brought you to tears all on its own. You knew for a fact that these exclusively grew in Hearthwyn naturally, a bush of them needing to have been brought delicately- and kept alive through the long journey- from Hearthwyn. Several days’ journey from Lumireign. The idea that now no less than two dozen had been placed wordlessly on your vanity had your mind spinning. 

 

They would have been enough of a gift on their own. In this case, however, they were not. Resting humbly beside the vase was a wooden box. Intricate designs were carved into its surface, creating swirls and twists that looked almost like the waves you dreamed of. A small golden latch held both sides of the box closed, and as you flicked it open, the pieces separated into one long, tray-like item connected at the center by golden hinges that matched the latch. You nearly felt your heart leap out of your chest as your gaze flickered over the contents, taking your time to digest the fullness of what had been given to you. 

 

While one side of the tray was occupied solely by thick sheets of rough-edged parchment, held tight by a piece of twisted golden wire across the long edge, the other had nearly a dozen divets cut into the wood. One divet took up almost the entire length of the tray, five paintbrushes of different sizes lightly bumping against each other with each movement. Their handles appeared to be made of the same wood as the box. Paints of various colors- some pigments of which even you had struggled to get your hands on back in Hearthwyn, their rarity something even royalty could not surpass- filled the handful of pots carved into the wood. A painting set. With a small message carved into the lip of the wood near where the parchment was held, as if to be a reminder each time you would lift the paintbrush to its destination; ‘my queen’.

 

You’re not sure how much time passed between when you opened the set and when you actually felt capable of moving again. It was only when you had returned to this plane of existence that you realized the gifts had arrived with a note. This was not done on the same thick paper that immediately signalled you to it originating from Eddie’s desk, but instead on what was clearly a piece of the parchment from within the set. 

 

There was no eloquent writing. No signature. No decree of who this might have come from in the slightest. Merely a small, black heart drawn onto the note in ink. 

 

It had been the heaviest subject on your mind ever since, and a perfect subject for daydreaming during this incredibly dry conversation that it seemed even your dear husband was not going to be saving you from any time soon.

 

Volt had to have been the one to have sent it, right? There was no way that Eddie would have known about your paintings or the importance of the Hearthwyn roses to you. The inscription on the paint set did not help the situation either, since both men had taken to calling you by the endearment. Yet the items were so costly in both their creation and their delivery that it almost necessitated Eddie’s wealth. Or, perhaps, it was simply that Lumireign’s coffers ran much deeper than you knew, and Volt’s status as Arcguard Captain had afforded him the ability to procure gifts so extravagant. 

 

You kept returning to the concept of knowledge . Eddie was truly not a possibility. It had to have been the one you’d bared your soul to in those brief moments; had to be Volt. The thought moved the rapid, spinning feeling within your mind instead to your stomach. If Volt had gone to such great lengths for you, what did that speak to the nature of your relationship moving forward? He had been flirtatious, to be sure, but nothing quite so definite as what these would imply. Nothing that would go so far as to be a disservice nearing treason to the man sitting next to you. 

 

That train of thought was shut swiftly off as you caught one of the advisors offhandedly mentioning something about being frustrated with instrument production rates from the luthiers in the kingdom. 

 

“Well that would be because the rosewood that they need to build lutes grows slower than standard maple.” 

 

It was only when the soft noises of chatter that you had become accustomed to in the last few hours had completely silenced that you realized that not only had all eyes turned to look at you, but that the statement had also come from your lips. 

Each advisor bore a different kind of utterly foul expression directed entirely at you. Ranging from angry to disgusted to shocked, it terrified you to see what Eddie might look like in this moment. Risking a glance, you got stuck staring right at him. Him and his look of pure curiosity.

 

“Your Majesty, whatever your humdrum little world was like before arriving here, this is not a place for women-” One of the men started, apparently feeling braver than the others by a mile based on the way Eddie whipped to face him so violently you thought he may injure himself in the process.

 

“This is not a place where my advisors will disrespect their queen based purely on her sex.” His voice was always a tad graveled, but in this moment, he sounded almost dangerous in his tone. You couldn’t imagine the look on his face at present, but it was clearly enough to strike a certain amount of fear in the heart of the offending man. 

 

“Eddie, it’s...fine, truly.” Although you couldn’t disagree more with your own assertion, you knew how much discord could arise from genuinely going against one’s advisory team in positions like yours. You wouldn’t be able to forgive yourself if Eddie lost the trust of his advisors over you. Your focus had been so gathered towards the purpose of not sowing this distrust that you hadn’t noticed your hand shifting to move comfortingly over Eddie’s until he had turned his own, holding you with a light touch. 

 

“No, it’s not. In fact, I’m quite interested in your take on this,” The way he looked at you made something under your skin start to buzz, as if he were pulsing confidence through your veins simply by taking your hand in his. You turned to face the man who had attempted to shun you for speaking, eyes narrowed as you let yourself sit up just the slightest bit straighter.

 

“The luthiers likely aren’t producing at the economic need because the need has increased significantly since Lumireign last made trade agreement amendments with Hearthwyn. Their lutes- and undoubtedly other string instruments that are now in demand due to the increase in the size of music ensembles- are made of rosewood from my kingdom. They cannot produce to the level you desire economically, not because they are inept- as you have so accused- but because there is not enough of the slower-growing rosewood being brought to Lumireign to sustain the demand.” Your eyes were locked on the man, and you surprised yourself in the way you never wavered even once. You knew this. You knew those woods. Knew what they could do, what they could grow, where what they grew went and how it was used. You’d be damned if you let a pompous ass like him tell you what you knew now. 

 

“It’s time to renegotiate the trade agreement with Hearthwyn. It should have been renegotiated after our marriage, but I can assume that was ignored as well?” When you received only the slightest nod from the advisor in question, you turned to Eddie. Only to find him staring at you with that same steely expression, except his eyes were now alight with admiration.

 

“Do exactly as she says. I’m sure the king will be amenable to negotiation.” The corner of his mouth twitched as if it were taking all of his energy to suppress smiling at you. Throughout the entire decree, you didn’t feel his eyes leave you for even a moment. 

 

The cruel advisor seemingly silenced, the head of the small group cleared his throat, lifting a piece of parchment to read off the next item on the list of topics for this meeting. If you recalled it correctly, you were finally nearing the end of this test of wills and would be set free relatively soon. You thanked whatever deity was listening for that small miracle. 

 

“Right. Next on the docket is the matter of the...unrest surrounding the current state of the monarchy. There have been reports of rebel grumblings in the taverns. We need to determine how to proceed.”

 

For the first time since the session began, not a single one of them seemed ready to jump in and begin the discussion. Not a single point was made, thought shared, or opinion announced for several minutes, until Eddie himself broke his facade to breathe a burdened sigh into the room.

 

“Do we know what their concerns are?” He asked simply, looking around the room of advisors who seemed incredibly keen on not being the one to say what they all appeared to know. It was incredible, watching how quickly these men who were so ready to challenge you and your authority shrank under the idea of having to be the bearer of bad news to Eddie. You would definitely need to have a conversation with Eddie about how his advisor panel was created. Finally,- and shakily- one of the men chose to speak up.

 

“Your Majesty, they seem to be...perturbed by the...recent revelation...”

 

There was a sudden, collective understanding that you felt decidedly left out of, but felt as though you had caused enough of a stir in this room for one day when Eddie simply nodded solemnly. 

 

“Right. I would like to host a forum. Hear them out.” That idea was instantly combated from all sides of the room, a cacophony of argument erupting from each advisor, leaving Eddie to sink his face into his hands in frustration until one finally called out.

 

“Veto!”

 

The ruckus hushed. 

 

Then the voices picked up once more, each calling out a similar opinion until, miraculously, all men were seemingly in agreement. 

 

“Unfortunately, your Majesty, that’s a unanimous vote. You will not be permitted to hold a public forum on the grounds that it could put you and the crown at great risk.”

 

Eddie gritted his teeth, his jaw shifting beneath his skin as he gave the advisor a curt nod. 

 

“Our final matter of business; the recent fires,” you perked up at the concept, not having heard about any fires within the kingdom until this very moment. With how fast gossip seemed to travel in this palace, you would’ve thought that information would have found its way to you already, “Several homes have been completely leveled by embers travelling by wind from Pantreia. They are supposedly suffering from a drought at the moment, leaving them at much higher risk of fires.”

 

Several men opened their mouths to speak, but snapped their jaws shut as the man beside you held up a hand.

 

“I will send word to King Fredrick that Lumireign would like to provide aid against their plight. They are a great trading partner, I’d hate to see them suffer. How many are currently unhoused?” Eddie spoke succinctly, and with a certain air of finality that told not only how serious he was about his decisions, but that he would be unwilling to move on them in any way. With the short, agreeable movements of the panel that seemed to follow, they also understood this fact.

 

“Thirty-eight, your Majesty. Nine families.”

 

“Hmm...prepare nine of the guest rooms in the east wing for long-term stays. All those who have lost their homes due to this matter will stay in the palace until we can provide proper materials to rebuild them. On our dime.” You felt your jaw slacken at the proclamation. Thinking of your own father, you knew that offering something so grand is not a gesture that he would have done. Perhaps offer a few rations to the affected, but never invite them into the palace with you. 

 

It made you wonder what other things Eddie had done for the kingdom that went unrecognized. How many times he actively went against his advisory board to do what was best for his people. How much care and love he quietly gave to his subjects while they rebelled against him. And what was the recent revelation that had been quickly circumvented? One thing was for sure, there was quite a lot being hidden in the Lumireign castle, and you were sure as hell going to learn it all, if it killed you.

 

Eddie must have dismissed the meeting after that, as those around you began to exit the room. Some of them travelled in pairs, already discussing what decisions had been made and what arrangements would need to be fulfilled before the next gathering, and some strutted off on their own. You didn’t miss the way the man who had scolded you leveled a glare in your direction as he set off on a path all his own.

 

A hand came to rest on your shoulder, and when you found Eddie looking down at you, it was impossible to fight the soft smile you began to wear at the kind contact. His hand slowly slipped away, replaced by his standard offered arm. According to what he had told you that morning when he’d summoned you here, this was the last item on his schedule for the day, and he was eager to spend some time with you.

 

“I’m sorry, for the way they treated you.” He murmured with an air of embarrassment surrounding him like a low cloud. You shook your head at the statement.

 

“Some people will never change their ways. Thank you, for caring enough to stand up for me.”

 

The walk to the nearest parlor was a quiet one, up until the door to the room was in sight. It was only then that Eddie’s eyes looked over to you from his place at your side, and cracked a smile in your direction.

 

“Did the flowers I requested make their way to your chambers safely?” Eddie questioned softly, a sort of vulnerability humming between the two of you. You paused in the hallway to look back up at him. It was easy to see that what he really wanted to know was whether or not you had liked the gesture, yet all the while your mind was fizzing as it tried to rearrange its perception of the act.

 

You had assumed, from all his flirting and from the sheer context of the gifts, that Volt had been the one to leave them. It was an easy conclusion to make. But an incorrect one, it seemed.

 

Eddie’s steely gaze had warmed over for you in this moment, and you could feel the worry coming from him as if it were radiating off of his body in waves. You wanted to assuage it more than anything, especially after he had stood up for you to his advisors and shown the depth of his recognition of you as more than just his wife.

 

“They did, my king. And they were quite lovely,” you made a move to take one of his hands in your own, lacing your fingers together and running a thumb over his own when he startled at the touch, “Thank you, Eddie.”

 

The soft, private smile he returned to you only sealed the proverbial deal; you were absolutely done for.

Notes:

NOW it's time for what I like to call...the good stuff. See you next chapter!

Chapter 4: Thunder's Getting Louder

Summary:

You consider your new life and the men in it. A discovery is made.

Notes:

Chapter title from Electric Love by BØRNS.

Lots of introspection and not a drop of dialogue in this chapter. If MC seems wishy washy about this whole thing...it's cause she is. Ugh, I love choosing between love and ambition. Hope y'all enjoy!

It was only by the grace of a higher power that Eddie had bid you goodnight early, leaving you blissfully alone with your thoughts. Which, of course, swirled and churned with thoughts of both the man himself and countering images of flowing white hair pulled away from electric eyes. 

 

Your vanity had held you for what could have been hours by now. Enough time for the warm glow of sunset to fade into inky blue skies littered with stars. But it wasn’t the constellations that had your attention tonight. No, it was the vase sitting mere inches from your nose alongside its partner gift and cryptic note. The roses were just as vibrant now in the darkness of your room as they had been when you first set eyes on them, but that simple fact felt a little too close to the truth your mind was unwilling to recognize at this time for you to dwell on it for longer than was explicitly necessary. 

 

It was Volt who made his presence in your mind known first. Boldly, of course, like he would. Ever the outgoing soldier who- in the days since you’d met him out in the gardens- had made sure to give you a bright smile in the corridor each and every time he saw you, or whisper ‘radiant as always, my queen’ for only you two as he slipped by you on his rounds. His boisterous confidence and natural charm that had you easily giving over facts about yourself- your life- that you had initially intended to be caged about had pulled you in like the current you were sure had to thrum through his veins to provide the energy he seemed to constantly bare. The ghost of his hands on your waist and back from that day in the garden still burned in your skin, reminding you always of how it had felt to be in those hands, those arms, held with the strength of a true knight. 

 

The situation begged reminding, as you flexed your fingers and were once again made aware of the weight on one particular digit that you had yet to fully become accustomed to, that even in a perfect world there was no chance for that easy flirtation to become anything more. Because there was Eddie. 

 

And Eddie could enrapture your thoughts just as easily as Volt could. 

 

The king was much more of a mystery than his guardsman. Reserved, careful, and only making moves on anything when he was absolutely sure about it. For anyone else, it would have come off as anxiety, but with him it was clear that he was simply assessing every possible situation silently before using his words. As if there was a weight to anything he would have said, and you supposed there was, considering he was the king. Every murmur could be considered a decree. You wondered what he would say if someone weren’t always listening, ready to follow orders. If he would be more open with you one-on-one; charming and amusing the way you’d briefly had him the night of your wedding. If he had people with whom he’d already let those walls down and was completely, unabashedly himself.

 

Which led you back to the question of your unexpected gifts. Volt had to have told Eddie what you had discussed in the gardens. Told him about your home and your passion. Your eyes widened a fraction in your reflection as you understood the implications of that. That there was a chance that Eddie was already aware of your flirtation with the Arcguardsman. You let your head fall forward to catch in your hands as you processed Eddie thinking you to be some kind of harlot, but stopped yourself in remembrance of the moment you had shared earlier that day. The way he’d still smiled at you like something precious, the care he took in defending you even with your middling protests. It spoke to a confidence in you that surely would’ve been extinguished if Volt had shared your impropriety. 

 

The fear, though. It had been something deep and disastrous. As if your greatest dread would be brought to life in the form of Eddie seeing you that way. In losing the private moments of him being wholly himself, losing the kind touches and secret smiles. It was something you were unwilling to allow. 

 

And that struck an even more deafening fear.

 

Who the hell had you become?

 

You’d hardly been in Lumireign for a moon, and yet here you were, waxing poetic about two men like a lovesick princess you swore you’d never become. Who were they? To swoop in with open arms and alluring words and turn you into something you’re not; into someone you’re not and vowed never to be. You were someone who had dreams of vast lands and waters and running free untethered. You were not someone who could be held in a place you never chose because of a simple matter of the heart. Even if your captors were kind. Or handsome. Or helplessly charming. 

 

No, your destiny was not to be someone’s wife and sit prettily on a shelf of a throne until the bitter end. Your destiny was out. Beyond. Away. It always had been and always would be. 

 

And you certainly wouldn’t fulfill your destiny by chasing after men you hadn’t married and inciting potentially treasonous acts with the captain of your husband’s guard all for the fun and the attraction of it all. Of course, you’d miss Volt’s smile, and how easy he was to talk to, and how your mind would wander about what he looked like out of uniform. You cut the thought there as your mind started to slip back into the hazy wonderland where you let yourself be the adoring princess, happily hanging on the arm of a man who flickered back and forth between Eddie and Volt’s visages. That traitorous area of your mind challenged you to question if any other path would have you ending up alone in the destiny you’ve so painted for yourself.

 

No, no, no, no . You would have that life you wanted. That life away from stone walls and crowns and forests blocking the world from your sight. All you needed was a moment at the water’s edge. For you to be able to break away in the small port of Lumireign, never to be seen again. Treasonous women did not get to go across the kingdom at their will; queens did. Respected queens did. 

 

So what if it gave you an excuse to get closer to Eddie in the process? So what if it would take all of your control to give Volt the kind of indifference you would have to supply? In pursuit of what you knew to be true of yourself, nothing mattered. This kingdom would not break you. And purely for the purpose of showing that to yourself, you set a mission in your mind.

 

You were going to kiss your damn husband.

 

For the first time all night, your eyes wandered from the roses and the paint set and the note and even your own reflection to the tall wooden door you had yet to be bold enough to use. With the time you had spent in your own mind, would Eddie even still be awake? The deep navy of the sky had steadily been replaced by pitch black, but you had always imagined Eddie to be a night owl. 

 

You recalled the balcony off-handedly, once again finding yourself in little more than a nightgown and dressing gown. If anyone laid eyes on you in such a state of undress, you were sure to be the talk of the kingdom. But you had to risk it. 

 

Crossing the room in quick, long strides, you cautiously pulled on the golden handles to grant yourself access to the balcony. A mild wind blew against the palace, rustling your hair peskily, as you took a tentative step out of the room and into the open air. If Eddie’s chambers looked like yours did, they held two panels of windows. A sideways glance, still unwilling to step too far away from the door for fear of being caught, confirmed what you had dreaded; both windows were dark, the nearest light coming from the next room over.

 

You huffed a petulant sigh as you slunk back into your chambers, closing the balcony door softly behind you and allowing yourself to sink woefully into your downy bed. Not tonight, you supposed. 

 

A distant thought rang through your mind as if to shake you by your shoulders in reminder. A conversation had only a handful of days prior; Eddie spending the day in his office. You recalled your father’s own chamber layout that you would speedily run through as a child. His office had been connected to his bedchamber. 

 

In fact, you’re sure you did not recall any other doors in the hallway your and Eddie’s resided in. Meaning the light you had witnessed could only be...

 

You shot up from bed like a bullet. Charting an instant path towards the door between your room and Eddie’s. A slow twist revealed what you’d hoped to be true; unlocked. But you didn’t open it. Not yet. Instead, you felt a shaky breath pull itself into your lungs as if you ground you more than you had the capability to do for yourself at the moment. 

 

Just go in. Just go talk to him. See him. He is your husband, after all.

 

A burst of confidence pushed the door open. 

 

Eddie’s bedroom was not what you had envisioned. You had always imagined him to be a man to keep little evidence of life in his space. Someone more keen on the functionality of his space than sentimentality, but you couldn’t be more incorrect. 

 

Even in the dark of night, the room felt warm and comforting. Large blankets draped over the bed and massive fur rugs covered nearly every inch of floor. A fireplace rested currently quenched embedded into the wall directly across from the bed, and the walls hung with portraits of a young Eddie with a beautiful woman holding him close to her, then him slightly older with his stony expression contrasting his youth and a man’s hand clasped on his shoulder, then Eddie only a few years younger than you knew him; alone. An odd collection, but one that told quite a story. 

 

But you didn’t stay set on this room for long, as another door on the far wall from where you stood caught your attention much more wholly. A door ajar, from which golden candlelight erupted. You had been correct in your assumptions.

 

If only you’d known what you would see when you peaked in through the open slot of the door. 

 

The scene splayed out before you was nothing short of erotic. Time felt as though it screeched to a stop.  

 

Eddie was where you expected him to be- at his desk, bathed in the glow of nearby candlelight- but certainly not in the position that you had anticipated to find him in. His head was lolled back to rest against the back of the chair, eyes shut and lips parted as the softest of gasps pushed passed them. Gone was any evidence of his cape and embellishments, even his tunic seemed to be long discarded to leave him simply clad in his undershirt and trousers, although the shirt was barely hanging onto his shoulders with its ties undone and collar thrown open wide.

 

You hadn’t needed to see the face of the person whose hand was wrapped loosely around the back of your husband’s neck, the person whose lips were tracing over his pulse points and collarbones with an intimacy that betrayed consistency, longevity, a connection bound by years. No, you hadn’t required seeing their face to recognize the way those hands cradled Eddie’s waist with an ownership you’d never know. Even if the greatest piece of evidence weren’t so violently clear, you would know the way those hands looked, felt, moved. Even if they hadn’t been on your own body while surrounded by flowers and greenery. Even without all of that, you’d know the shocking white of that hair that seemed to glow iridescently even in the shadow of night anywhere. The man touching your husband the way you’d only dreamed was Volt.

 

Your cheeks flushed fully at the understanding that this was something you were decidedly not supposed to see. Try as you might, however, you couldn’t stop the short gasp that eked out of you at the sight, spurring the two sets of familiar eyes to find you immediately. Both were set deep in fear when they met yours, with not a word to be said between the three of you. A tense moment passed before you stumbled backwards, gripping the frame of the door for dear life.

 

You rushed back to your chambers faster than the wind that rushed through your hair on the balcony- faster than either man could compose himself quickly enough to follow-, slamming your door shut and crumbling to the floor to the sound of your name being called just beyond the dense wood against your back. 

 

The rest of the world quickly faded away as you retreated in on yourself. You heard nothing, felt nothing, saw nothing. Some time passed. You weren’t sure how much, measuring it only by the number of tears that had rolled pathetically over your cheeks. 

 

It was all you could do to scold yourself- so enraptured in believing that you could’ve had something with either of them, you missed the most obvious answer of all- before the heavy feeling of protective, fitful exhaustion engulfed you, silencing the sobs that choked you. 

Notes:

FINALLY GOT HERE!! This is really the driving action of the entirety of the rest of the fic and I'm so excited I finally got to share it with you!!! See y'all next chapter!

Chapter 5: With Troubles Aplenty

Summary:

The aftermath of revelations. A plan is made.

Notes:

Chapter title from Pure as the Driven Snow from Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes!

Penelope and Dolly were incredibly understanding of your desire to stay in your bedroom and entertain absolutely no one today. Of course, they didn’t understand why or what had gotten so deeply under your skin that you were keeping them by your side today, but- ever dutiful- they kept careful watch over your peace each time voices echoed in the hallway or it seemed someone may try to knock on the door.

 

The lack of an attempt to see you from any souls in the palace reminded you just how alone you were in this new kingdom. 

 

You had no idea how you could’ve been so blind to the truth of it all. In hindsight, you were able to piece together so many little details that you had originally taken as pure kindnesses. Eddie’s willingness to shirk tradition after your wedding, the casual nature of it all, wrapped up in spectacle for the kingdom to hear about but not see. Volt’s almost incessant flirting no doubt a cover for the fact that he would never take a wife. Even your own presence in the palace; just another detail to hide the fact that it would have never been your heart that was intertwined with either of theirs. It was always going to end this way. With you alone. 

 

But isn’t that what you wanted? Weren’t you just hours ago reckoning with yourself to find a way back to the freedom you sought? Was that freedom not inherently lonely? Free of the shackles of kingdoms with no one to lock you into one place or one specific destiny? 

 

Perhaps, you thought despondently, this fate would force you to rethink what you had believed you’d wanted. Maybe, at the end of wherever this journey would take you, there would be space for someone to have a larger presence in your life than you’d previously considered. Even if it couldn’t be Eddie or Volt, maybe someone would be able to fill that space that you had left empty for so long. 

 

Mindlessly, you turned your head towards your door, and from your position on your bed, you found that it wasn’t the door that had your eye. No, it was those damned gifts, left untouched and likely continuing to be so ignored until you had allowed your wallowing to come to an end. The roses’ petals had begun to droop a little lower, and you were left to wonder if they could feel their own falsehood pulling them closer to the earth. If that simple truth was dragging down their beauty the same way it was weighing you down. To know that you both were part of a larger scheme that you had no knowledge of. 

 

The picture of them, debauched and so clearly, violently in love, flashed in your mind like a punishment. They had looked endowed with a secret knowledge you weren’t sure you’d ever learn for yourself. Was it wrong? To think of them and be able to only see how beautiful they had been? The shock had held you in its grasp in that brief moment, but you weren’t sure that the sight would ever leave your mind. For more reasons than you were willing to admit. They had been beautiful. Were beautiful. Together. Something you wouldn’t dare disrupt with the disappointments of one who had never known that beauty for herself.

 

At the sun’s highest point, Dolly was taking her shift standing stock by your door. She didn’t fidget, didn’t shift, looking almost statuesque in her assurance of her duties here. Penelope contrastingly flitted about the room dusting item after item, only throwing a cautious glance your way as feathers swiped the vestiges of disuse from the wooden box and vase that hadn’t left your vanity. You felt awful, watching them perform tasks without one another. They were clearly so used to taking on every project- every room- together, that the separation was creating a jolt in Penelope’s cleaning pattern. You’d see the way she’d go to move to another part of the room, only to turn and be met with a spot she’d missed; spots you’re positive you’d seen Dolly take care of when they operated in tandem. 

 

It was easy to drift back to the thought of Eddie and Volt at the idea. How did they operate around one another? In the quiet times they undoubtedly shared before you arrived? Did they once move in the same practiced ways that Dolly and Penelope did? Were you, as you’d done to your sweet lady’s maids, creating a separation that was only making their lives difficult? Leaving space where the other should be? You hauled your hand above your face to stare at the golden band that had become a new, heavy fixture on it. What did this mean? A symbol of a life, a person, you were now rooted to inextricably, who didn’t- couldn’t- want you. And never would. 

 

Your morbid ruminations were interrupted by- for the first time all day- a brief but strong knock on your door. Dolly perked up at the noise, slipping to the side of where she had been stationed to open the door the tiniest bit and peek out into the sliver of hallway it created. The sounds coming from the other side were quiet, muffled both by the door and the speaker themself. Dolly looked over her shoulder to make eye contact with you, and tapped her left ring finger against the wood silently. 

 

Oh. Eddie. 

 

Briefly, you contemplated letting him in, if only to hear him attempt to explain himself in a way that- knowing him the way you had come to- would be incredibly ineloquent and likely the antithesis of what he would actually mean to tell you, but in the end, the heaviness that had settled in your bones won out. You shook your head at Dolly, and tried your best to ignore the way her shoulders seemed to slump at the decision. Vaguely, you were able to make out the sound of her accent shaping around the words, “I’m sorry, your Majesty, she’s not seeing anyone,” only for the final word to be cut off with a plea. 

 

“Dolly, please.” The lady’s maid shook her head, and shut the door lightly once it seemed as though Eddie had left. Something located deep inside you sprang to life in that moment, clawing, crying out to pull the king back to you and let him attempt to comfort you if only to feel his hands on yours and have his voice in your ear. It wanted nothing more than to run at the door and shout down the hallway for Eddie to come back. But you knew better. He wasn’t yours to call on. And the hours you spent reminding yourself of that fact swirled colors in the sky until late into the evening, when Penelope and Dolly eventually stepped away for the night under the assumption that you had drifted into the dream world.

 

Unfortunately, you felt as though nothing would soothe you to that place today, and your eyes stayed trained on your window that overlooked the palace gardens until sleep had started its journey to overtake you completely.

 

That is, until another knock came. This time from the door connecting your bedroom to Eddie’s. You’d lost the will to ignore it long ago.

 

The door had never been locked, and a simple turn would’ve had it falling open, but you supposed either Eddie had enough respect for your wishes not to try or believed it to be keyed shut. Either way, it opened easily now as you mustered up enough strength to sit up in your bed- fatigue settling in your muscles from lack of use- and call out a weak ‘come in’. 

 

You had expected Eddie walking through the door, bustling to talk to you about last night’s events, not a flash of white hair leaning against the doorframe and silently seeking further permission to enter at the reveal that he had been the one to ask it of you. A quick head nod seemed to grant him what he was looking for, and only when he stepped fully into your bedroom did the slightly shorter man become visible trailing behind him. 

 

The three of you regarded each other silently, Volt being the one to take initiative- as always- and kneel beside where your legs hung over the side of your bed. He looked up at you with that ridiculously radiant smile, and while it warmed your heart to see it again, the hand that he raised to cup your cheek felt scalding, and you gently lowered it away from your face. You tried to move past the look of hurt that momentarily dimmed his bright eyes. 

 

Clearly still awaiting his own approval from you, Eddie eyed you nervously from near the door. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other as your interaction with Volt played out. You spared a look over at him, and with a gentle motion of your head, he was pacing over to sit next to you on the bed. For a moment, the three of you simply sat together, embracing the calm before the storm. In the end, it was Eddie who thrust you headfirst into the squall.

 

“That wasn’t how we wanted you to find out, sparkler.” Something ticked behind your eyes at the nickname, but you bit it back as you met his eyes.

 

“And yet it’s how it happened,” You surprised yourself at the ease with which the biting tone slipped past your mental filter, “Why weren’t you honest with me?” It was hard, watching the way they both reeled back at the accusation, either in shock at the unexpected question or the concept that you weren’t absolutely appalled by the notion that your husband and potential lover were together in the way you wanted to be with them. The pair looked to each other, sharing familiar gazes that sent a feeling down your spine like you were interrupting a private conversation. You squirmed slightly under the sensation, but held strong as you awaited their mental discussion’s end. Volt pulled away from the look first, turning to meet your eyes in a way that made the room feel that much more intense.

 

“You must admit it is not the most,” Volt paused to toy with his next words, something you had yet to have seen from the man who usually always had the right words to say prepped and ready, “broadly accepted situation we’ve found ourselves in.” Eddie scoffed at the concept, earning himself a hushing glare from Volt that almost pulled a laugh through your hurt. Almost.

 

“I just,” You groaned loudly as you ran a hand over your face, falling back to lay flat on your bed. The alleviating action was clearly appreciated by both men, who fell back and stood from their spot on the floor respectively to join you on the plush bedding, “I don’t know how I missed it.” You grumbled, knotting a hand in your closest pillow to throw it over your face and echo the sentiment with a somehow louder lament than before.

 

“We’ve gotten better at hiding our relationship in public over the years.” Eddie spoke up, and even with the pillow clasped over your eyes, you could feel the way his hand slipped comfortingly into yours, a mirror of the motion you’d made to him during the advisor counsel.

 

“How did-” You stopped and started a few times, flinging the piece of bedding you’d been clutching back to its proper location on your bed, if not a bit askew, “I mean, Volt told me you grew up together but how did you-” You made vague gestures to the both of them with your hands, hoping it would convey the message you were trying to get across. The movement that could only be described as flailing seemed to finally earn a laugh from your boys- from Eddie and Volt, you corrected- and you heard the shuffling sounds of fabric making way for them as they shifted to their sides to look at you while they talked.

 

“Not much to say there, one day it just...felt different.” The way Eddie looked at Volt now made your heart melt, but you couldn’t help the feeling that from this spot- with you laid on your back and each of them on either side of you, looking at each other with an inimitable fondness- that you were once again putting a barrier between them. Your shoulders curled in towards your body slightly in an attempt to make yourself smaller.

 

“But being a king requires continuing the bloodline. Which requires dear Eddie to produce an heir. Which, as you may have guessed, I cannot help him do.” 

 

Right. Which is where your part in this whole story comes in.

 

“So...you bought me.” You looked from Volt to Eddie, finding the man still playing with your fingers mindlessly. It would have been very in character for the man you knew to take some time on what he had planned to say next, so it was incredibly surprising when he stared back at you and spoke surely, with a near instant reaction to your words that implied he wanted to eliminate the thought of you being property that was able to be purchased from your mind entirely.

 

“And never expected the woman who arrived. Never expected, well, you.” His lips were curled into that smile that only you- and assumingly Volt- got from him, and a firm squeeze of your hand punctuated the sentiment. 

 

“We had been determined to end our relationship after your wedding,” A thinly veiled pained expression gave away Volt’s true feelings on the concept, and that familiar weight you’d come to associate with guilt from this particular situation found a home in your stomach again, “Our hearts, it seems, had very different plans.”

 

“So if Eddie weren’t king, you two would be able to be together?” You questioned into the air, garnering a mild shrug from Eddie.

 

“Sure. But it’s not something you can just stop being.”

 

But that wasn’t true. Not completely anyway. It’s true, Eddie couldn’t abdicate now, not since there were no heirs to step in for him, and that was not a position even you could take now as queen, but kings did stop being kings at one point; when they died.

 

“What if you could?”

 

There must have been something dangerous in your eyes when you looked over at Eddie. Something that showed him exactly what kind of thoughts were swirling through your mind at the moment. Plans were forming. Details drawn out and contingencies mapped just behind your eyes until- yes, it could work. It could be done. They could be free.

 

“Sparkler...” Eddie chided, his brows furrowing in an odd mix of intrigue and confusion under the concept that even that simple question had raised. He was attempting to take in everything in your expression by the way his steel-gray eyes flitted around your features before settling back on your own eyes. You sat up the slightest bit, using your forearms to prop yourself up and be able to see them both. That was your first mistake. Looking at them both now, detailing exactly what you had concocted, suddenly felt a lot more difficult with them both painted in the pinkish-purple light of the last moments of a sunset. They looked every bit as regal as they were in these colors. It made your heart clench as the realization passed that you had them both here, with you, in your bed, and were about to propose something that would only take them from you. 

 

You brushed away the thought. They were not yours. They were not yours. They were not yours. It repeated like a prayer in your head as you finally moved to speak once more. 

 

“What if you both disappeared? I’d still be queen. I could reign. The people are already crying for the monarchy’s end. I could help them build something new. And you’d both be able to live your lives together, away from Lumireign.”

 

Silence. 

 

They glanced to each other with that same, silently conversing look that you understood you would have to quickly become familiar with if you were going to continue spending time with them in the same space, which this plan would decidedly require. Volt turned his bright look back to you first.

 

“It would be incredibly dangerous, my queen. If we get caught-”

 

“So we won’t get caught. Please. Let me give the two of you this. Let me help you be happy.”

 

Something moved in their expressions, though you weren’t quite sure you could put your finger on what exactly it was. It almost looked like the beginnings of a cringe, or reaction to a pain. But just as it arrived, it was quickly covered by both men, leaving you to move your focus from the idea as Eddie pulled your attention.

 

“What about you?” His voice was softer than usual, fringed with worry and apprehension. It was sweet. To know that through all of this he still cared about you in a way. That they both did. Were worried enough about your perception of them to come and talk to you in the first place. You were entirely sure of the way you answered him.

 

“When the monarchy ends, I’ll be free, too.” It was the steadiest your voice had been all day. The most sure and confident you’d felt since they’d entered your room. 

 

Thankfully, it seemed that they believed you. But you knew what you were hiding from them. If you were truly going to dismantle and entire kingdom’s government, it would take years. Years, during which, you would be reigning alone while they were able to live the life beyond the walls that you had dreamed for yourself. It was your penance, you thought shamefully, for being a piece in separating the two people you found yourself caring more for with every passing moment from one another. Your years spent alone would pay back to the universe what you had unwittingly helped to take.

 

“So what do you say? Are you in or not?”

 

“We falsify our own demises, you take the crown, dismantle Lumireign’s monarchy from within, and we all saunter off into the sunset?” Volt summarized easily, looking between you and Eddie as if measuring your collective reactions to his conclusion. He shared Eddie’s air of apprehension, and while you understood the unease of it all- the potential for danger it contained for you and Volt in particular-, you also knew it was the only way forward where everyone got what they wanted.

 

“Exactly,” You're not sure what spurred you to add your next sentiment, “And we never have to see each other again,” The reaction to it was subdued, but visceral. 

 

If you had been paying more attention in that moment., if you had been ruminating less on how to execute this plan that you’d crafted, you might have seen the way that Eddie and Volt looked at each other. You would’ve, for once, been in on their silent communication. The connection that currently read as plainly as day that the ending you’d proposed was, in fact, the last thing they would ever want. That, all the same, they knew as you did, that this was a chance at freedom. And if you didn’t want to take that freedom alongside them, there wasn’t anything they could do to change it.

 

“We’re in.”

Notes:

OOOOH we're getting into the good stuff now y'all, I'm so jazzed about this story and absolutely love that y'all are enjoying being on this ride with me!! Your comments are giving me life and I can't wait to see what you think when this is all over! See y'all next chapter!

Chapter 6: Burned, But Not Buried

Summary:

Getting into the details.

Notes:

Chapter title from Which Witch by Florence + the Machine

Bonus points if you find the Our Flag Means Death reference in this chapter

“I’m not staging a fire.”

 

You crossed a sharp line of ink through the option on your ever-dwindling list of choices at Eddie’s admonishment. You had been holed up in his office with the man himself and Volt for several hours now as you attempted to determine how to kill them both. 

 

“It would put pressure on Pantreia that we’re not looking to encourage. They are already dealing with enough flame-induced tragedy as of late,” Volt chimed in, reclining in one of the plush office chairs next to Eddie with his legs slung over the king’s lap casually, “We do not wish to stoke it any further.”

 

It had been comfortable, ever since the three of you had your discussion about making this plan to begin with. Eddie and Volt were able to be open with flirtations and touches around you, which took pressure off of them, and you were able to be more relaxed and crass in your words with the knowledge that neither of them was considering you romantically. Having friends to talk to was nice, even if you occasionally wanted to snatch the collars of their undershirts and haul them over the desk that separated you so that you could finally kiss them. 

 

If anyone asked about the color spreading on your face at that thought, you would have blamed the heat of the candles around you, not the speed of your heart rocketing upward at the mere mental image. Or the vision of what their lips felt like, or the taste of their tongues against yours, or-

 

You cut yourself off before you could go too much further down that particular rabbit hole and lose all deniability. 

 

“Okay, okay, I hear you. You know, you’ve shot down every idea I’ve had so far, but I don’t hear either of you coming up with brilliant deaths for yourselves!” You teased them, letting your expression turn smug as it seemed their turn to blush profusely, looking from each other back to you with a shrug.

 

“Right, so back to the list then,” you scanned the parchment, past all of your previous concepts that had been retconned for one reason or another; horse trampling - ‘too hard to fake’, sword incident - ‘two of them?’, jungle cat mauling - ‘who would ever believe that?’. All of which led down to-

 

“Lost at sea? How well can you swim?” 

 

“Like a fish, sparkler.” Eddie chimed, mimicking your earlier tone teasingly. One of his hands fell down to rub soothing circles onto Volt’s ankle, who was clearly a bit more shaken by this idea.

 

“Well, I’m not quite as aquatic as dear Eddie, here, but I can hold my own.” His gaze was locked somewhere over Eddie’s shoulder as he spoke, clearly doing his best to process some aspect of the idea you were floating to them.

 

“How will the people know we’re dead?” He finally asked, turning to face you with kind, inquisitive eyes. That was something that you had admired about Volt throughout this process; he always addressed you with openness, wanting to trust your opinions while also balancing his own hesitations and questions. In truth, you had expected Eddie to be the one more reticent to follow through on the scenario you’d all agreed to, but he had generally been more accepting of the fact that the best way out of his current role was to die. 

 

Volt was right, though. It was key that their deaths be accepted as truth by the people. They couldn’t simply disappear, they had to have been eradicated . You leaned back in your own seat, pondering the best way for the pair to believably have been lost to the water.

 

“Do either of you know someone who is discrete with wood?” Volt formed a wicked smile at your question, but just as his lips parted to answer, Eddie’s hand shot from the man’s ankle to his mouth to block the noise. The white-haired man grumbled at the censorship, but bit back whatever his previous comment would have been to answer you earnestly. 

 

“I have a carpenter friend who lives near the water’s edge. Trustworthy enough of a man, I assure you, but whatever for, my queen?”

 

“Simple. You two go out on a boat. Next morning? Shattered hunks of the wood the boat is made of wash up on shore. Only one thing to be assumed of that. Also then you won’t have to actually swim, your royal fishnesses.” You were particularly proud of that solution, especially considering the boys seemed to be getting on board with this way of going about their false demises. The three of you hadn’t gotten nearly as far as this with any of the other options, so you were riding a bit of a confidence high at the approval you were receiving from them. 

 

Something distantly plucked at your heartstrings, though. The concept that the thing you had wished to see all your life would be the very thing that took your boys from you. It was a cruel twist of the universe, and the main reason you’d held off on the option until the very end of your list, hoping and praying that Eddie and Volt would get attached to one of the other available options before this one. The sad truth was that this was the best option of all the ones you’d crafted. The only real answer. And somewhere within you, you hid the question of if another reason you put off presenting it was to spend more time with Eddie and Volt here in the warmth and privacy of the office. 

 

“Maybe a message in a bottle written by two men desperate to leave a parting word to their wife and liege?” Eddie suggested, lifting a single, thick piece of parchment off of his desk and waving it playfully in the air, “On the king’s letter stock, of course.” 

 

“Now you’re thinking, Eddison.” You praised, laughing at the look of disgust Eddie pulled in response to his full name. Joining his laughter was easy when he crumbled the parchment in his hand and tossed it at you playfully in retaliation. Volt merely shook his head at your antics and leaned forward to press a passing kiss to the side of Eddie’s head, who promptly turned his head to take Volt’s lips against his own.

 

You know you shouldn’t have, but you couldn’t help but stare, lips parted ever so slightly, at the sight of their kiss. It was something that you hadn’t seen of them yet. Such a baring of their love before your eyes. The night you’d caught them had been a moment of intense passion, something fire red and blazing with heat, but this? This was magic to witness. Gentle and soft, echoing the truth and beauty of the way they loved each other, the way they moved together seamlessly. You were enraptured by the quick, powerful act. That is, until the pair pulled away from each other and you readily busied yourself with picking up the crumpled ball of parchment from the floor. 

 

Not doing so would’ve left your gaze above the desk to see the way they glanced in your direction hungrily, only remembering themselves as you straightened your spine and placed the ball back on Eddie’s desk. 

 

“So, Volt, your friend-”

 

“Antonio.”

 

“Antonio. He’s trustworthy? Enough so to handle this great of a secret?” You asked cautiously. You’d be remiss if you added another human factor to this plan without being completely sure of their reliability. This was the entire fate of the kingdom on the line. Even worse, it was the lives of the two men sitting in front of you. Your life. All of it was in jeopardy if this carpenter slipped up.

 

“I’m sure of it, my queen. He owes me quite a few favors from the brief time we were in Arcguard training together. The poor man just didn’t have a fighter’s spirit in him. He turned to carpentry and never looked back on us lowly guardsmen. We’re quite close.” You nodded to him. Volt’s word was good enough for you. A few strokes of ink added Antonio below the circled words “lost at sea”. 

 

Your quill hovered over the page for a moment, and you made a mental note to absolutely cremate this parchment before the three of you actually implemented the plan. You couldn’t see a positive scenario in which the queen of Lumireign had a parchment with the exact way the king and his Arcguard captain died circled and a name implicating another in the act on it. 

 

“Next problem to tackle; where the hell do you two go after you leave Lumireign?” The boys seemed to feel much more confident and positive about this aspect of the plan right from the beginning. That much wasn’t quite a surprise to you. If you had been in a secret relationship for years, you too would rhapsodize about what and where life would be if you could escape from it all. Hell, you had done exactly that, you had just only done it with yourself in mind. 

 

“Pantreia,” Eddie answered with certainty, “We border them, so the journey won’t be long or difficult. And King Fredrick is a friend. He won’t mind our living in his kingdom in secret so long as we don’t cause trouble.” Volt’s hand had slipped into Eddie’s at some point in his explanation, and Eddie stared at where their skin met now as his partner raised their hands up to his lips to press a kiss to the back of Eddie’s. Adorable. But you needed to focus on planning. You jotted down ‘Pantreia’ under ‘Antonio’, and continued your line of questioning.

 

“What about a place to live? Work?” The stresses that had been obvious in the pair as you had discussed how to kill them off seemed to have evaporated since asking about more of the post-death factors of the plan. It was cute seeing them so hopeful about the futures they would have together, and was a silent reminder of just what you were working so hard for. 

 

“‘Nother friend. From where I used to live near the Pantreia border. Her name’s Beverly. She owns a tavern now and would hire us.” The concept of Eddie having ever not lived in the castle was odd to you, but you trusted his word on the people surrounding that experience, and wrote Beverly’s name amongst the growing list of details.

 

The image of Eddie in ragged clothes behind a sticky bar top- although not an awful image to have- didn’t sit right in your mind. Your version of Eddie was draped in silks and velvets, not roughing it on measly pay at a tavern. You had to suppress a laugh at the thought of Volt doing the same. But, you let him have this one. Not without a jab, though.

 

“Oh yeah? You can make a good drink then?” You all but purred, leaning over the desk with your elbows planted heavily on the surface. Volt’s eyebrows shot up nearly to his hairline at the action, gaze jumping between you and Eddie as he watched the interaction with a rapt attention and the slightest gleam of challenge in his eyes.

 

“Yep,” Eddie met you measure for measure, coming into your space with a smirk so that mere inches separated your faces, “Best you’ll ever have. This one’s a lightweight so he doesn’t try what I make anymore.” An indignant ‘Hey!’ echoed from where Volt was lounging, smiling at the way you poked at each other. 

 

This was a game you played every once in a while, now. One of you would tease with the express purpose of getting the other huffy or prideful, ribbing until one of you couldn’t take the proximity or the insinuations of what you were saying anymore. You usually lost out when Eddie got close enough for you to smell the heady combination of whiskey and musk, close enough for your eyes to want to drift to his lips and dip into that headspace where all you wanted was to close that painful distance. Pinning down exactly what made Eddie tick wasn’t easy, and you still found yourself prying and prodding at different topics to find that sweet spot. Today’s tactic; flirting. 

 

“I’ll have to take you up on that sometime.” You let a hand wander from its place against the crook of your elbow to find one of Eddie’s sleeves and toy with it between two fingers, but your eyes never left his, and he was eager to go toe-to-toe in the charged staring contest you’d begun. Neither one of you spoke for several, heavy moments, until your fingers brushed against the inside of his wrist. Something must’ve snapped in Eddie, causing him to reel back into his chair and look away, the faintest evidence of flush painted on his cheeks. You won. 

 

“And what about you?” Volt finally chimed into the conversation when your measuring contest with Eddie had subsided, looking to you with one of those somehow perfectly-shaped eyebrows quirked in question. You hadn’t anticipated discussing your part in this once the boys were gone. After all, the main goal was to get them out, get them safe. What happened after should’ve been background noise to them. And yet, it wasn’t. You cursed them for being so damn thoughtful.

 

“What about me?” You returned, unable to meet his ardent eyes in the moment and choosing instead to focus heavily on writing absolute nonsense onto your list to warrant keeping your head down. 

 

“When we’ve gone, what will you do?” He prodded again, swinging his legs off of Eddie’s lap in favor of pulling his chair closer to the desk so that he could use his arms to support his hands clasped under his chin. If it weren’t for that familiar, soft expression he wore when he addressed you genuinely, you would’ve thought he looked near villainous in his movements. You thought for a moment, recalling all that you had planned and concocted for your own fate, and finally stared those bright blue eyes down to answer their owner.

 

“Dress in all black, go into mourning. Probably wax poetic about how awful it is that for all our trying ,” You slapped your palms down onto the desk and exaggerated your expressions as much as possible while detailing the ‘grief’ you would show to the kingdom, “Eddie and I just couldn’t seem to produce an heir. How there could never be another man for me and I vow to never take another husband,” The man himself was still turned away from you and Volt, seemingly lost in thought, but you caught the way his eyebrows furrowed together at that comment and his lips twitched as if suppressing a sneer, “Eventually I announce that, in my inability to continue the royal bloodline, I will begin the process of making Lumireign a functioning democracy. Give power back to the people. After I hand off power to the new leader, I drift off into the mist like a memory.”

 

“You’ve thought about this quite a bit, hm?” Volt questioned, something in that electric blue you got lost in so frequently shifting to something almost sad.

 

“Ever since you agreed to it, yeah.” The Arcguardsman hummed at the thought, and the office settled into a low hum of noise. The occasional crackle of the flames on nearby candles, the scratch of Volt now writing onto a piece of parchment with a fervid focus, the swish of your gown against the floor and desk as you attempted to get comfortable in your chair. A symphony in the silence only broken by Eddie’s return to the conversation.

 

“Do you,” He started, still not looking at you or Volt as he spoke. The king drew in a deep breath, hands fisting on top of the desk, before he locked his eyes on both of you, and began again. “Do you think we’ll all be alright?” His voice was unsure in a way you hadn’t heard before, and his eyes reflected the concern his tone betrayed. 

 

You would never have shared it with the boys- too worried over the idea that it would cause them undue stress atop what was already granted by their stations and the nature of their hidden romance- but you had been worried. So many things could go wrong with this plan. Someone in the palace could catch on, the people could rise up and kill one of them in actuality before they had the chance to fake their deaths, they could actually get hit with a storm at sea and die before they ever reach Pantreia, it was all so much to consider and bear, and that was all before you even took the throne to reign on your own. 

 

It was terrifying. But it was the only way out for all three of you.

 

“I have to. If we won’t, what was this all for?”

 

Eddie pressed his lips into a tight line, considering this small act of hope that you had presented to him. It wasn’t enough, would never be enough to assuage all of the tumultuous storms brewing in each of your minds around making this dream a reality, but it was something. For now, it was something for you all to hold onto. Something to drive you towards a brighter life and a better tomorrow for everyone. Eddie raised his eyes to level with yours intensely, as if he were looking through your eyes to see into your heart and mind, all the way down to your very soul. Those eyes told you something was shifting, something was changing. Something bigger than you or Volt or Eddie. And no matter what it was, you were ready. Eddie’s final words before you bade each other goodnight were simple, but meant more in this moment that any outpouring he could’ve provided you with. 

 

“Thank you, sparkler. Truly.”

Notes:

I'm actually living for all the comments and love y'all are giving this fic!! I'm going to try to go through and start answering comments now that I'm not drowning in my first week back in grad school, so y'all will be hearing from me VERY soon! See you in the next chapter!

Chapter 7: A Fight I Can't Resist

Summary:

Preparing for the future. A dam breaks.

Notes:

Chapter title from Take Me To War by The Crane Wives

Alexa, play Forbidden Fruit by Tommee Profitt, Sam Tinnesz, and brooke.

Volt was certainly skilled with a sword.

 

You supposed that was a requirement of his position and a side effect of his training for the Arcguard, but seeing- experiencing - was much different than believing in this case.

 

The captain had been hell-bent on training up your combat and defense skills since you had finalized the escape plan, and on this morning’s schedule was sword fighting. You had been slowly getting better as the weeks went on, developing a solid base of footwork and form, but your movement had been stuck in a rut of choppiness. The ways that Volt easily slid this way and that with his weapon, swinging the blade as though it were a part of him; that was where you would tend to get choked up. 

 

Volt attacked gracefully and with finality, the form of someone who knew exactly how powerful they were with their chosen weapon, and knew just how to show it. After more training sessions than you could feasibly count, he had finally determined that today was the day you went one-on-one in the field with him. Just you, him, and the heavy weight of your sword’s hilt pressed against your palm in the stretch of field just beyond the royal gardens.

 

You were keeping up, but just barely. The sounds of metal crashing against metal hung in the air like fog, the force of each meeting of your swords sending a pulse into your arms that had you gritting your teeth. Somewhere in the back of your mind you questioned if other queens had ever been required to go toe-to-toe with their guards in this manner, but another notion met your thought with one that other queens also did not plot for the false end of their husbands and guardsmen who were secretly in love with each other. The requirement came with the territory, you supposed. 

 

Volt ducked quickly, a leg swiping your own, and suddenly you were hitting the dirt as jolts of blunt pain shot through your back, the air shooting out of your lungs as you made contact with hard earth. You knew you didn’t have much time before Volt would be upon you and attempt to call victory for bringing you down, and you forced every muscle in your body to work towards throwing yourself to the side in a turn so that you could stand, away from Volt’s reach. 

 

The move must’ve taken him by surprise, because when you rose you could see Volt staring at you with a bit of pride in his gaze and his stance brought slightly too close together for what he usually took to keep himself stable. That look only lasted for the briefest moment, though, before he was charging towards you again. 

 

Just barely, you were able to throw your blade up to guard you from a slash, and instead of the swords pushing themselves away from each other as they had before, this time they held firm as you and Volt exerted equal pressure. That is, until Volt pressed ever so slightly harder than you were able to withstand. The blades slid against each other, the force eventually pushing you to reel back one leg for extra support. Your arms felt as though they were in flames, every muscle and tendon burning with exertion you had never felt before. You’d been getting stronger since Volt had been training you, but it was still nothing compared to the years of effort and discipline instilled in the man you were facing. Even worse? You knew he was holding back to prevent injuring you.

 

You were bent into an uncomfortable angle now, the pressure still coming harder and harder as Volt attempted to see you flat on the ground- the signal that you had lost-, and end this sparring session. Unsure of how much more you could take, you pushed your supporting foot back, further into the grass. 

 

This would be your downfall. Literally.

 

Your feet slipped one after the other in the damp morning grass, landing you once again on your back- which you were now sure would be sporting some kind of purplish-green souvenir from the incident- only this time, a heavy weight followed you to the ground.

 

Volt’s arms barely made it to their positions on either side of your head in time as he came down on top of you. His face stopped only a breath from yours, and you couldn’t help but laugh at the way that the proximity mirrored how he’d caught you the day in the gardens when you’d met. He’d neglected to pull up his long hair today- either out of simple forgetfulness or in the interest of being dramatic, both seemed equally likely- leaving the white locks to fall against your cheeks as he joined your laughter, nose pressed gently against yours. 

 

It felt so surreal, cloaked in Volt’s hair so that you could barely see the outside world. Here, it almost felt like you were in a different time, a different place. Somewhere where you weren’t training to potentially fight for your life. Where Volt might have stumbled into you at a ball or a crowded tavern, leaving you in a tumbled mess that could be the beginning of something more as opposed to a reminder that you would soon be separated. A brief moment of free joy with one of the men you ached to admit you were caring for more deeply with each passing day.

 

Then Volt was moving to stand, and- framed by the bright morning sun- he looked almost holy. Little rays of light flooding through the white strands to make him appear radiant, his hand extended to you; the image could have easily been mistaken for a portrait of a deity taken human form. Your hand unconsciously raised to clasp within his, and he tugged you to stand as if you were a feather’s weight. 

 

“You’re improving, my queen. A few more sessions and you’ll be on par with some of the Arcguard.” He praised, smoothing down some of the places you’re sure your hair was sticking up or had flown free in the action of your spar and subsequent falls. The pair of you paced easily from the open field to the archery range, just downhill from the Arcguard barracks. Volt had been sure to leave the other guardsmen to drills or stations during the times that he would train you, to keep away from prying eyes and questioning staff. That was the exclusive reason this section of the guards’ grounds was empty at the moment; usually flooded with Arcguard and recruits training up their skills as you now were.

 

Archery had consistently been coming after swordsmanship in your sessions, and every time you would grumble and moan about how sore your arms were by the time you got to the act, Volt would tut at you and inform you that you could need archery when you were at your physical weakest. ‘You must be properly prepared for the scenario, my queen,’ he’d chide. You chose not to bring it up today simply to spare him the breath of the reminder. 

 

The bow and quiver you’d been practicing with laid against the far side of one of the targets, hidden by the substantial bale of hay that resided behind the targets to catch stray arrows. Each time Volt set the tools in your hands, you had to marvel at their craftsmanship. Made from dark, rich-toned wood that felt heavy and sturdy in your hands, you were sure that this piece of weaponry would be near unbreakable from regular use, and pleasantly found a similar status in the arrows, despite their lighter wood composition made to allow them easier flight. Even the leather of the quiver was thick and deeply tanned, making its creation for your use and yours alone all the more evident. Without question another purchase by Eddie to ensure you were given only the best. The thought always managed to slightly soothe the way your arms would cry out to your brain when you would start this aspect of training. 

 

You had never been particularly skilled at archery, having taken up finer crafts and skills at the behest of your father growing up in Hearthwyn. Once you’d found painting, you’d never looked back for other fields of study outside of those expected of all princesses; languages, instruments, and the like. Volt had been clearly surprised at your lack of shooting skills at your first session. Now, you were at least a bit more confident in your stance.

 

Apparently far too confident, as pressure that would reveal itself to be Volt pressed against your back. You nearly jumped out of your skin when his hand looped around your waist to push against your stomach, fingers splayed to cover as much surface area as possible on your tunic. 

 

“You’re bending your back again. Relax. Straighten out. Lower your shoulders.” Volt instructed calmly, and you attempted to steady your breath as you felt his words against your ear. You followed his instructions blindly, damn near melting at the soft way he praised you for doing so with little ‘good’s against the shell of your ear. How in the hell were you supposed to relax when he was whispering how well you were doing and so close there wouldn’t have been room for a piece of parchment to fit between you?

 

To make matters worse, his free hand was pulling on your bent arm now, moving it to a proper angle as you knocked back your arrow against the string of the bow. Pure willpower took over, obscuring all thoughts of the images dancing behind your eyes of the other ways you’d pictured yourself this close to Volt, the other scenarios in which he’d whisper how good you were in your ears. It was truly one of the great feats of your life thus far. Blocking out the touch, the sounds, you locked eyes on the target, and let yourself release the arrow. The resounding swish-thunk of stone piercing bound straw clued you to the fact that it had hit home before your eyes could process what they were seeing. 

 

“Congratulations, my queen, you actually managed to hit the target today.” He teased, not making any sudden moves to pull away from you as you stared in disbelief at the arrow, now protruding from the target’s third-most center ring boldly.

 

“I must have a truly excellent teacher. Considering I thought myself a lost cause with a bow.”

 

That earned you another laugh, and as Volt instructed you to go again- finally removing his hands from your body- you silently reflected on the fact that you would spend forever adoring being the source of such a beautiful sound. 

 

The long bath that Penelope and Dolly had drawn for you that night felt like heaven on your aching body. Penelope had scrubbed your hair free of the sweat and grime you’d accumulated from the session without question- something you were silently thankful for- and it now fell against your face in wet lines as you reclined in the slowly cooling water. The lavender sprigs and chunked sea salt that your lady’s maids had added to the bath while it was at its hottest were doing wonders for your tired muscles, soothing away the pains and aches that had settled so deeply within you that you were surprised they hadn’t reached your very bones.

 

Only when the water had become uncomfortably cold did you finally move to step out of the bath. Presumably, Penelope and Dolly would be back shortly to run thick wooden combs through the knots that would somehow find their way into the strands and apply the bevvy of creams and elixirs to it that you knew you’d miss when you inevitably left this palace. You were so sure of their return, in fact, that when a soft knock echoed from the door to your bedchamber, you felt confident calling out ‘come in’ just as you had finished tying your dressing gown sash around your waist.

 

“Good evening, my queen. I wanted to-” Volt stopped himself at the sight of you, and you felt a similar ice freeze you in place at the realization that it had decidedly not been Penelope and Dolly at the door. 

 

“Volt!” You cried out, snatching up a linen towel from nearby to help provide at least some sense of modesty to the minimal fabric that covered you now. It was incredibly improper for anyone to see you in solely your dressing gown with the exception of spouses and maids, and the mere thought of Volt perceiving you this way had you lighting with embarrassment.

 

“Ah- Apologies, my queen, I had, um, just wanted- I-,” He paused, gaping as his eyes raked over your body so candidly that the heat of shame you had felt was shifting to something entirely different and forming a knot in your stomach. His stammering would have been almost cute, in absolutely any other situation, “I didn’t mean to intrude, dear, I simply wanted to check on you after today’s session.” He finally explained, palms raised and facing towards you defensively. Even still, his eyes couldn’t be torn from your state of undress.

 

“Volt?” You questioned carefully, feeling your breath become labored under his careful gaze. The towel slipped from your hand to meet the floor silently. He made a small noise of acknowledgement in his throat in response to your request for his attention, “I thought you were interested in men?”

 

When his eyes met yours, there was something in them you had never seen on the man before, he looked hungry ; damn near wolfish. “I am.” He answered succinctly.

 

“Specifically interested in Eddie.”

 

“I am.”

 

“Yet you’re looking at me the way a man looks at his wife.”

 

“I absolutely am.”

 

You swallowed thickly, attempting to push your heart down from the position it had taken in your throat. A different kind of ache was starting to set in now, a kind that had called to you for weeks, from the moment you’d met the boys and become completely awash in the feelings they injected into your heart. One that buzzed loudly in the air between you and Volt as you examined each other in this moment. The room was suddenly much warmer than you recalled it being.

 

You’re not sure what took over you, but you let your head give Volt the slightest of nods, and the man was on you in a flash of white and blue. For the third time that day, you felt your back meet a hard, flat surface- understanding that Volt had backed you against the wall that separated your bedchamber and bathroom- as his hands gripped onto your hips. One slid a path up your side, coming up to grasp your chin between a thumb and forefinger. Volt drew tantalizingly close, his breath hot on your lips with how little space remained.

 

“Tell me to stop and I’ll stop.” He whispered frantically, waiting until he received another almost imperceptible nod from you before crashing his lips against yours like a man starved. You couldn’t have stopped the moan that tore through you if you’d tried. Quicker than you’d have liked to admit, your fingers were slipping into Volt’s hair, tugging him impossibly closer as your lips moved together like a dance. Volt was decidedly leading.

 

His tongue was licking into your mouth at once, your jaw slackening ever so slightly as he tasted you. Every twist of his tongue around yours was yanking pathetic, needy sounds from you that you hadn’t previously been aware you were capable of making. Just as you had thought you would begin to see stars from his kiss alone, Volt’s hands framed your hips, fingers slipping to the back of your thighs to lift your legs around his waist. You certainly didn’t need to be told twice, laying one ankle over the other to lock him in place against you. 

 

A small voice in the back of your mind told you this was completely indecent. Your dressing gown had fallen to the whim of gravity to hang straight down from your waist in this new position, leaving your bare hips to meet Volt’s trousers with evidence of his shared need for you pressing dangerously against you. This kiss, this moment, was unspooling months of looks, touches, words; all flooding out of you with each muffled noise of desperation as it simultaneously tightened that knot deep within you that felt almost primal. You chose to ignore the voice.

 

You were sure you were becoming absolutely drunk on his kiss, releasing so much of the tension and heaviness from your time in Lumireign you could physically feel the weight leave you. And when his fingers started to trail from your thighs up under the hem of your dressing gown at your waist? Growling a sentence you’d only heard in your dreams in your ear?

 

“We are wearing entirely too many clothes, your Majesty.”

 

You thought you might just give yourself over to him completely right in that moment. Unfortunately, that was also the moment your brain decided to fully return to your body and flash an image of your husband- the man the one you were kissing loved - across your vision.

 

“Won’t- mmph!- won’t Eddie be jealous of my- my kissing you in the dark?” You questioned, the feeling of Volt’s lips sealed over your collarbone nearly sending you back to that thoughtless, blissed out reality you had temporarily absconded to.

 

Volt laughed against your skin, giving you the gentlest nip of his teeth and causing you to jolt at the feeling.

 

“Only jealous that he-“ Both of you froze at the sound of another knock at the door. 

 

Volt had your feet back on the floor- wobbly as your knees had become- and your dressing gown fixed to seem as proper and undisturbed as possible quicker than you’d ever seen someone move before. He had just made it over to the door to Eddie’s chambers when he turned to look at you again. 

 

As if he couldn’t help himself, he sped back to your side and cupped your cheek to plant one final, brief kiss on your lips before making himself scarce into Eddie’s room. You had to hand it to him, the years spent hiding his relationship with Eddie had clearly taught him some things about discretion. And how to leave someone wanting more. To your own credit, you returned to reality faster than you thought you would, and easily welcomed your lady’s maids into your room with a level voice.

 

The girls flitted about the room, tidying and collecting items to ready you for bed as they guided you to your vanity, oblivious to what had just occurred. Their night routine for you, although appreciated and thorough, was entirely too long tonight. You silently pleaded to be left with your thoughts throughout the entire duration, and when the pair was finally satisfied with their work- leaving you to your slumber- you allowed the events of the night to fully overtake you.

 

Volt had kissed you. Volt had kissed you. Volt had kissed you . With a ferocity and intention that relayed the fact that he would have happily done much more than kiss you. That he was desperate to do more than just kiss you, just as you had been. You could still feel the pressure of his lips on yours, his hair under your fingers. The notion had completely scrambled your previously well-sorted opinions of your relationships with Eddie and Volt.

 

Could he want you? The way he wanted Eddie? You shook off the foolish notion. No, Eddie was Volt’s one and only. You knew that. It was just the moment. And your temporary lack of inhibitions. Even if he had held you like something to be desired- no . You couldn’t let yourself hope. It was a mistake. A slip to never be spoken of. 

 

Two things were for certain. There was absolutely no way you could tell Eddie, and whatever had transpired between you and Volt could never happen again. 

 

But damn if you couldn’t relive the moment to yourself. Over, and over, and over until your lips were no longer bruised red and your hair had finally dried. 

 

You slept soundly that night as your dreams found themselves plagued with the feeling of hands tight on your thighs, waist, neck, and the taste of another’s tongue heavy on yours. 

Notes:

Fun fact the "Won't Eddie be jealous..." interaction is one of the first ones I came up with when I decided to write this :)

You get the closest thing to smut I'll ever write AND an extra chapter in the story. AS A TREAT. Also because my roommate gave me an idea and it's too good not to add.

I don't know why y'all think something bad is gonna happen to the reader- *Once This Dream Is Over*- don't look at that. But it's almost like the reader is gonna need a big dramatic thing to happen to get her feelings and the boys' through her head. Hmm...

Seriously though y'all are the absolute sweetest and I adore hearing from you!! See you in the next chapter!!

Chapter 8: Walls Come Tumbling Down

Summary:

And then that moment ended.

Notes:

Chapter title from Everybody Wants to Rule the World by Lorde

PLEASE HEED THE UPDATED TAGS FOR THIS CHAPTER!!

There was no sound but the rhythmic chirping of crickets outside your window when the symphony began.

 

It wasn’t the melody of glass cracking intertwined with shouts that woke you, though. It was the pair of hands that rapidly, frantically shook you by the shoulders. Your first instinct, the one Volt had instilled in you over your months of training, was to fight back.

 

Your hands shot out in front of you to push at the chest of your attacker, only giving the shape in the night a small reprieve when he gasped out. “It’s me! My queen, it’s me. It’s Volt.”

 

You halted your battle immediately, allowing him to haul you to your feet and over to the fireplace that neighbored the door between Eddie’s room and yours. The sound of metal rending and stone crumbling echoed from the hallway, and it was only then that you noticed how terrified Volt looked. You’d never seen him look like that before. 

 

“Volt, what’s-?” 

 

“They’re attacking the palace. I have to get you to safety. Now.” He was fiddling with something on the thick stone jamb of the fireplace, and you were unable to stop your gasp as the entire front of it moved as one to the right, revealing a staircase down into inky depths. Volt snatched a candle from the mantle and handed it to you, lightly but quickly moving you into the new opening. 

 

“Go all the way down. There’s supplies down there for a week. Do not open this door for anyone but me or Eddie, understood?” The way he spoke let you know that there was no room to disagree, yet your stubborn brain dropped your lips open anyway as if you were about to say something. He left you no room to do so, taking the moment to lay a warm hand on your cheek and press his lips firmly to yours.

 

It felt like something unspoken. Like a reminder. Both a promise and- your eyes stung at the thought that shot across your mind- enough to remember in case it were the last. 

 

And then the door was shut, and you were alone. 

 

Your first thought was how cold the candle holder felt between your fingers had suddenly become. How bone-chilled you were in this stairway of stone. Everything about this place seemed to echo in its emptiness, reflecting an untouched sort of rigidity that made your skin crawl. Who knew the last time someone had set foot within these walls? You’d certainly been living alongside them for months without knowledge of their existence, after all.

 

Mindlessly, you followed Volt’s orders and wandered down the staircase- allowing your eyes to slowly adjust to the dark illuminated only by the short candle in your hand- until there were no more steps to go down, and the darkness turned thick with depth. The outline of a tall candle tucked into a sconce could just be seen to your right, and you cautiously lifted your own to where you presumed its wick was. The candle lit, revealing another only a few feet from it. You followed the soft glow carefully, lighting candle after candle until the room was washed in the warm glow of consistent light.

 

The room wasn’t small, but it had clearly been built for utilitarian purposes. All stone walls and hard floors. A single cot rested in one corner, seemingly untouched by time. Every few feet, a new crate was labelled with increasing day counts. Rations, you assumed. In the opposite corner to the cot; a sheathed sword and stack of books. One of fiction, one of poetry, a holy text, and so on. You grimaced at the concept of relying on them to stave off insanity. 

 

Somewhere overhead, an explosion sounded, rattling the walls and sending a cloud of dust down from the low ceiling. You stumbled into the cot and shrunk your knees up against your chest. A high-pitched scream pierced through the stone, muffled but still blood-curdling, and your mind immediately jumped to Penelope and Dolly at the feminine quality it held.

 

Had they been found? Down in the maid’s quarters where they’d told you they lived? Were they crowded into a room much like yours and wondering about your well-being? Or, a much darker thought queried, were they stuck? Caught somewhere on the upper floors in harm’s way? Your blood ran cold at the idea that the scream had belonged to one of them. That they were steadily bleeding out or already dead. Penelope’s lanky frame contorted in a heap on the marble floor or Dolly’s remarkable mind laid to rest slumped against a wall; forgotten and disregarded by their station alone.

 

Another explosion. Somewhere distant this time. Explosives were new to the land. Unstable. Unknown. There was no telling what kind of damage was being done to your home now. It had all happened so fast. One moment you were dreaming of Volt, of the way his hands had held you at once reverently and like prey to be devoured, and the next? You were here. Cramped into this space with its stale air and cold, lifeless walls only brought to life by candlelight. 

 

Volt . You shivered, picturing his sword crashing into another’s with sharp, sickening cracks and scrapes, doing whatever he possibly could to fend off attackers. A deeper scream and more crashing sounded from somewhere close, and you went still in the thought that this one could have belonged to him. That he was taking his last breath just above you and you would be here, tucked away like a child instead of defending your home the way he’d trained you to. Taking his last breath without you there to hold him tightly in your arms and tell him that it was all going to be okay and begging him to stay right there with you where he belonged.

 

The thought made your stomach churn painfully. 

 

Volt could die. He could be dead. Already departed from this world for the next with only a heated kiss to show for how you’d felt about him. Having never woken up to the feeling of his arms tucked around you, or waxed poetic about the way his eyes lit you up every time you looked into them. Never given the chance to hear the lilt in his voice wrap around the three words you’d wanted to hear the most from his lips.

 

It could all be over.

 

And what would become of Eddie? Without his other half, the one with whom he’d shared everything, how would he be able to go on? You couldn’t bear the thought of him separated from the person he loved. Which raised the question of where he had wound up.

 

Had Eddie made it to safety the way you had? Been placed somewhere away from danger where the attackers wouldn’t be able to find him? You tried to picture him sequestered in a stone room like yours, pacing back and forth worrying out of his mind about it all, but found yourself unable to rip your mind away from the worst case scenario. That he had been the primary target; the one they’d come for. That he was already torn from you in that irreparable way that none could reverse. 

 

Your eyes locked on a metal bucket next to one of the ration boxes as the contents of your stomach called out to make a new home in it. Limbs collapsing gracelessly next to the box as your throat burned with the acid that rose from your stomach brutally. 

 

No, you told yourself when your illness had subsided, no, Eddie couldn’t be gone. Volt couldn’t be gone. There was too much unsaid, too much that you had never told them, never experienced with them. You were supposed to help them be free. They couldn’t be dead. Please, you called to whatever deity was listening, don’t let them be dead. 

 

At what point did you start crying?

 

The tears were hot, and coming faster than you could hold back the choked sobs that ripped through your stinging throat. No, no, no, they had to be okay. They had to be safe somewhere or fighting with everything they had to get back- at the very least- to each other. They had to fight to get back to you, you loved them, for crying out-

 

Your world stopped moving. 

 

You loved them. 

 

You loved them. 

 

You loved them, and they could be dying. Never knowing. 

 

Something made a resounding crack noise. Much closer than anything else had sounded thus far. Light had spilled into the stairway you’d descended from your room. You shrunk yourself to be as small as possible behind one of the crates. They’d found you. Broken in and were here to end this pawn in the greater monarchical game. 

 

You begged your lungs to cease their movement, to hide you just a moment longer and keep whoever this was from finding you. Because Volt told you not to open that door for anyone . No one who wasn’t him or Eddie. And you know that they would have called your name down that staircase if it were safe to come out. Whoever was clicking down the stairs now was not one of your boys.

 

“Your Majesty?” A voice called into the tight space, the clicking of those shoes getting closer and closer with each moment that slipped by. It was familiar, but not enough so to immediately warrant your trust. Its owner had just let the tip of their metal boot slip into your sight when the voice eked out a pleasant, “There you are, your Majesty.” 

 

The slightest glance up let you find Sir Keith looming above you, the candlelight flickering over his features in a way that lit him treacherously. You hadn’t had too many experiences with Sir Keith, but he was liked well enough by the other Arcguardsmen, and Volt was no fool when it came to who he trained for his guard. You supposed he wasn’t the worst one to have found you here, but something about the way he was smiling at you was making your skin itch.

 

There was something dark about his demeanor today, something that felt akin to a piece of fabric stretched too thin. Something wasn’t right. And you’d explicitly heard Volt say to not go with anyone but him or Eddie. You weren’t one to disobey direct orders from Volt. Not when he’d said it as though your life had depended on it. So when Sir Keith extended a hand down to you with that same too-tight grin, you couldn’t help but retreat further into the intersection created by the ration box and wall. 

 

“Sorry, Sir Keith, but I won’t be going anywhere without my husband or Sir Volt. I was given express orders.” You answered plainly, your eyebrows knitting together at the hand he offered you, which curled tightly in on itself at your hesitancy. 

 

“The captain sent me himself, he is tending to other matters at the moment, you simply must come with me.” He was pushing the bounds of something, his expression beginning to twitch as if straining to maintain it.

 

“The captain will seek me himself when it is safe for me to leave. I must insist.” You held your voice level, not willing to give any bit of fear or trepidation to this man. That seemed to have been what broke his composure. The chill of the room deepened further than you thought possible as the grin disappeared from his lips, morphing into something twisted and threatening. 

 

You felt like you were being eyed as a meal. 

 

His eyes narrowed in the darkness, pupils and sclera dimming in the low light to look as though they’d become one devilish, dark shade of black. Focused right on you and looking deep into your soul.

 

“Oh, your Majesty,” Sir Keith drawled lowly, and a dull feeling of heavy pressure pushed against you just below your stomach, “I so wished you’d chosen the easy way.”

 

Your body canted forward at the feeling of something leaving it, pulling you lightly alongside it. He leaned down, his last action to whisper in your ear, “Down with the false king,” before he stood.

 

That’s when the burning started. Then the cold started to wash over you, a hand unconsciously reaching down to feel at the area the odd feeling had occurred. When you raised it to eye level, your fingers looked like they had been dipped in ink. It was only when you turned them slightly into the candlelight that you realized the inky liquid wasn’t black; but the deepest red you’d ever seen.

 

Blood. Your blood. 

 

Sir Keith had already gone. You were alone. The irony flooded you that you had spent so much time wondering if one of your loves was slipping away just out of your grasp, you’d never considered the possibility that you would be brought to your end here. That you would be the one slumped against the wall as blood leaked from you slowly, with a tragic sort of finality. 

 

You were going to die alone.

 

Where were the arms to hold you now? The soft voices to promise you all would be alright? Were they looking for you? Who would find you? You hoped they’d know, even if you’d never said. 

 

Their names were the last breaths from your lips before a dark haze blocked out your vision entirely. 

 

There were warm hands on you. Two, you could feel. Small and gentle, holding you against a woman’s chest. Someone pressed a kiss to your head, and you sighed. You felt almost cradled. Cared for. A calm voice whispered something you couldn’t decipher, but you knew in your heart you were safe with this person. They were here to take you home. But you were already home? Where did they want to take you?

 

No, you weren’t ready to go. Please, don’t make you have to leave. You weren’t ready. Please. Please let go. Please!

 

You were shoved headfirst away from the loving arms, and found your eyes shooting open in a room you’d never seen.

 

You were still alone. Surrounded on all sides by white linens swaying side-to-side in the faint breeze that travelled lazily through the air. It was all quiet here. There was a firm mattress and thin sheets around you, two downy pillows tucked under your head to give you a slightly angled position. A bit of light was filtering through one of the curtains, and by its position you could tell you were somewhere in the east wing, that it must be early in the morning.

 

The stone floor cued you into the fact that you were still in your palace, but when you shifted to sit up and examine your surroundings further, you were tugged back down into place by a sharp, radiating pain in your abdomen. Lifting the top sheet revealed that a too-large nightgown had replaced the one you’d been wearing, and a brief touch to the area the pain had originated in was met with a rough-textured line that felt foreign and wrong. 

 

What had happened to you? You remembered the blood, remembered that odd, visceral feeling after Sir Keith had given you that look that told you he was no friend of yours. Or the crown’s, you reminded yourself faintly, recalling the venom in his voice as he’d whispered the threat to you. 

 

‘Down with the false king.’

 

Eddie . Where was Eddie? Where was Volt? If you were here, alone, did that mean? 

 

No, it couldn’t possibly. You were prepared to be alone with the understanding that they would be somewhere, happy, full of life, away from here. But if they were gone, you didn’t-

 

“Where the fuck is my wife, Chance?!”

 

Someone speaking softly followed the demand, and a door somewhere beyond your fabric prison swung open with a high-pitched groan. Triplet sets of footsteps paced towards you, their sound getting louder and louder, battling in level with the voice of Sir Chance, who called after the other two.

 

“Your Majesty, please, she’s not-”

 

A curtain was yanked back, and Eddie was staring hard at you as if he’d steeled himself for the worst possible scenario. Maybe he had. There was a long moment that passed between you, and you couldn’t help but drink in the sight of him. Whole, unharmed before you. Tired- the purple marks under his eyes giving away the fact that he hadn’t slept, even before the attack had begun- but most importantly; alive.

 

Although it pulled at your wound the tiniest bit, you opened your arms to Eddie, smiling wetly as he sped across the distance between you to hold you close to him. Well, as close as he could considering the awkward angle your bed rest had you situated in. You could feel his nose nuzzling into the side of your neck and pulling in a deep breath as his arms tightened against your back, your eyes falling shut as you let the comforting, familiar smell of ink and whiskey that haunted his clothes lull you into comfort and security.

 

“I was so scared we lost you, sparkler.” He breathed shakily, quietly into your ear, and as you parted your lips to grant him a similar sentiment, the sound of metal shifting from near one of your curtains had your eyes snapping open to meet it. Your mind cautioned you towards the sound, frantic and still wary of the knight who had harmed you while bearing your own guard’s armor, but was quickly calmed at the sight of the piece that was missing from your embrace.

 

“Volt, you’re-” Your gaze caught on the long bandages looped around his arm, held in place by one long wrap that came up around his neck, “What happened?!”

 

“Nothing to concern yourself with, your Majesty, I will be back to normal in a matter of weeks.” He answered formally, his voice switched into that tighter, purposeful tone that he only used when you were around others. If the way his free hand kept clenching and releasing was any indication, he was having as hard a time keeping his composure at the sight of you as you were at him. 

 

Over Eddie’s shoulder, you flicked your eyes to the slightly ajar curtain that they had come through, and hoped that he would catch your intention and close the damn thing so that you could have a semblance of a private moment with the pair you thought you might never see again. Thankfully, it seemed you two were also starting to develop a silent form of understanding one another, as his uninjured arm ducked back to do just that as he moved to your side. 

 

Volt’s hand came to rest on the side of your face, brushing away sweat-damp strands of hair from your forehead as he pressed a sweet, firm kiss to the top of your head, content- it seemed- to settle his head atop yours and lightly move his arm to wrap around your back. The time that passed there, with Eddie’s breath against your neck and Volt’s heartbeat steady in your ear, was all you had needed to feel safe. You were all okay. You were all safe. With much more than bumps and bruises between you, but alive . 

 

It felt precious. 

 

A shuffling to the far side of the pseudo room alerted you all to another’s incoming presence. Volt stiffened, shifting to stand stoically at the head of your bed as if merely doing his duty by standing by the crown, as he’d always done. Eddie even extracted himself slightly, still not having it in him to let go of his tight grip on your hand; a tether to remind him that you had not left him. 

 

The curtain was pulled back, leaving room for a short woman to poke her head into the space. Her soft smile turned radiant at the sight of you up and talking. You recognized her as Farya, the palace medic whom you had thankfully only ever had to meet in passing and when you had made your round to introduce yourself to the palace staff. That is, well, until this moment. A hand falling to trace where the odd line above your hips had been, you understood that she was likely now incredibly familiar with your body.

 

“Incredible, you’re awake! That’s great. I was a bit worried after all the internal damage.” She trailed off, seemingly lost in thought. It was Eddie who spoke up in question of her statement.

 

“Internal damage?” His hand squeezed yours, and you caught the slightest shift of movement from Volt in your periphery. 

 

“Oh! Yes, well, um,” Farya seemed to trip over the best way to phrase whatever it was that had her tongue tied, tapping the end of her quill against her scrunched lips as she jotted a few things down on the stack of parchment that laid on the small table next to your bed. She breathed deeply before setting you with a look of pure pity, “As you know, you were stabbed by a dagger,” So that’s what it was? A dagger? The realization that Sir Keith had truly meant to kill you seemed to strike in all three of your minds at once, “That dagger seemed to penetrate a bit further than we originally thought when Volt first found you. Too much later and you wouldn’t be talking to us, your Majesty.” 

 

You chanced a look at Volt, but the man was unmoving beyond the twitch of his eyebrows and mouth in as much of a grimace as he could give. You couldn’t imagine the sight you would have been for him; unaware, unmoving, puddled in the blood that had been washing from you. You would be distraught to have found one of them like that. There was nothing you wanted more than to grasp his hand in yours and be able to give him the physical reassurance that you knew he’d saved you, and you would be forever grateful for it. 

 

“It did, however,” she once again took a moment to toy with her words, “damage several reproductive structures.” 

 

“How badly?” You asked, trying hard not to let the fear and uncertainty bleed into your tone. Even injured, you were still queen, and you would not falter in front of the doctor until she confirmed what you believed she would.

 

“It is incredibly unlikely,” Farya let a long sigh slip out, “that you will ever be able to bear children. I am so very sorry, your Majesty.”

 

The room went so still, you could’ve been convinced that even the air itself had stilled at the news. You hadn’t factored children into your life before. You knew, from years of being informed of exactly what princesses were ‘good for’ by your father, that it was expected of you to be able to produce an heir for whomever you had been married off to. Had known that it was expected that at some point you would watch a smaller version of yourself run through castle halls and teach them to be a proper ruler, if life went as it seemed it would.

 

But then you’d met Eddie. And Volt. Concocted this whole scheme and pushed the concept of what you had been expected to do as a wife from your mind entirely. The life you envisioned for yourself when it was all said and done had never included children. It was you and the water and no more walls to keep you trapped behind. But the choice, the ability to one day decide, being yours and yours alone no matter what anyone else had to say about it was freedom in itself. And that freedom was gone now. 

 

Your body moved on its own to thank Farya for her time. And some part of you heard her tell you about the days you’d spend here recovering before you could be up and about again. A more distant part heard her drone about not engaging in sexual activity for a number of weeks while staring pointedly at Eddie, who had withdrawn into himself as you had, likely with his own storm of thoughts swirling behind gray eyes. 

 

Eventually, she took her leave. That was when the walls came down. When the facade was cracked by the gentle, then persistent, then freely-flowing tears. There was the pressure of bodies against you. One kneeling from above to mouth soft reassurances against your hair, and the other nestled up along your side whispering platitudes against the column of your neck. 

 

For that moment, you didn’t care who saw you, what your station was, or where you really stood with the two of them; you let your boys hold you as you cried. And as a warm wetness not from your own eyes began to dampen your neck and the top of your head, you understood that something precious had been lost that day.

Notes:

So that was a little heavy. But our girl needed a push.

Side note; how would we feel about a collection of short chapters from Eddie and Volt's POV after this fic is complete?

See y'all in the next chapter!

Chapter 9: Vessel For Your Good Intent

Summary:

A much-needed conversation with Penelope and Dolly.

Notes:

Chapter title from Tongues & Teeth by The Crane Wives

Even with the stitches removed, your wound still ached when it was pulled a certain way. A way that Penelope and Dolly had just done while slipping your stays into place, and one that was still irking you as you took your seat at your vanity for Penelope to work her magic.

 

The pair had been extra gentle with you in the days since Farya had given you the all-clear to leave the infirmary. You knew that they had been incredibly shaken by the attack two weeks ago, having been packed like sardines into the staff safe room through the kitchens and being some of the last to be told they could leave. Keith’s betrayal had been a key factor in that. All of the staff had been thoroughly re-vetted since the reveal that he had been working with the rebel forces. 

 

They seemed more worn out than usual today. The maids had been clocking extra hours helping to clean up the palace from the attacks, and some of the tasks required an amount of elbow grease that you had noticed was getting to your typically chipper and sassy lady’s maids. When you’d first been released from Farya’s care, you’d been met with the sheer wreckage that had been caused by the attacks. 

 

Much of the ballroom floor needed to be replaced, one of the first explosions being located there as the rebels blew open the massive windows you’d gazed out during your wedding day and reception. It had stolen the breath from your lungs when you first saw it; such a beautiful place reduced to piles of cracked marble and stone and dusted with minuscule shards of glass. 

 

Although it seemed that the staff had done their best to scrub off as much of the graffiti that marred the walls of your home as possible, there were still some places where you could find ‘Down with the False King’ or large crown symbols crossed out with 'X's splashed upon walls and floors in paint so red it could almost be confused for the blood you’d witnessed leaving your body in the safe room. The sentiment begged you to think back to the first advisory session you’d spent with Eddie. Where they’d first discussed the rebel sentiment growing among the kingdom. 

 

The rhythmic scratching of the brush Penelope was working through your hair allowed your mind to wander to that odd conversation. The one that you had chosen not to dive into then, but was plaguing your thoughts incessantly now.

 

‘Your Majesty, they seem to be...perturbed by the...recent revelation...’

 

‘Recent revelation?’ And what revelation was that? Certainly nothing so grand that you’d received word in Hearthwyn, but clearly enough to stoke the flames of an ember that had been burning hot and waiting to spark. Enough that those who opposed the monarchy would deem Eddie to be a ‘false king’. Enough that they would build and unleash unstable explosives onto the palace and take lives in an effort to send a message. 

 

No amount of damage- physical or otherwise- could halt the flow of gossip, though. And Penelope and Dolly had been chatting away about the Arcguardsmen again.

 

“He’s just too quirky, doll!” Dolly chimed from where she was laying out layer after layer of what would compose your outfit for the day on your bed, ensuring they remained flat and free of errant wrinkles. Penelope scoffed at the notion and gave a tug of the brush that was a bit harsher than necessary. She hummed an apology in your ear before turning back to Dolly and pointing the brush like a sword at her. 

 

“He’s sensitive ! It’s attractive! Just because he doesn’t have four hundred pounds of muscle on him doesn’t mean he’s not handsome!” She retorted, her cheeks flushing with the heat of the conversation as she lowered the brush onto your vanity in favor of twining the smallest decorative braids you’d ever seen into your hair.

 

“Sir Chance , though, honey?!” The gray-haired woman barked a laugh, shaking her head fondly at her younger counterpart. This was not a new conversation by any means, but it certainly seemed that the topic had been spurred on by the events of the attack. You watched the women bicker with a contented smile on your lips. A sort of tense air had settled over the palace since the attack, and it was comforting to see that at least one thing was back to normal.

 

Unfortunately for you, one of those things was not your relationships with Eddie and Volt. In fact, you hadn’t spoken to either of them since you had been released from the infirmary. 

 

Something had changed the day that Farya broke the news to you. Eddie seemed more serious than ever- if that had been possible- and when he had visited you, it was only by sitting next to your bed and chatting politely. You wanted to break that pattern so badly, but the idea of pushing him too far and losing him permanently was a risk you were unwilling to take. So you let him have his moment. 

 

Volt had scarcely been able to look at you when you passed him in the corridors. All stoic and professional as if you were constantly under the watch of some unseen third party who would catch onto your previous connection at even the slightest hint of familiarity passing between you. It frustrated you to no end, not knowing what had made them both so suddenly cold with you. Had you gone too far that day when you had been reunited? Seen something in the two of them that wasn’t actually there for you? 

 

The thought made you want to tear out your hair, but you refused to ruin the hard work Penelope had put into making it look just so. Throughout your mental journey, it seemed that your lady’s maids had freely continued their conversation, now going back and forth about which Arcguards warranted their attention. The scene almost reminded you of watching knight training from a high window with the few friends you’d had in your youth; not understanding why they were so intrigued by men they’d never met based on looks alone. If only that version of yourself could see you now, pining over not one but two men like a lovestruck teenager. 

 

“He carried me to the safe room, Dolly! He has hidden strength! It’s sexy!” Penelope squealed indignantly, looking almost toddler-like in her search for Dolly’s approval on this matter. It seemed, however, that the other was not planning on giving into her theatrics any time soon.

 

“Sweetie-pie, you wouldn’t know ‘sexy’ if it bit you on the nose,” She paused to think for a moment, then hummed in approval at the image she appeared to have conjured up for herself, “Sir Duncan on the other hand? That’s damn near the prettiest man I’ve ever seen.” 

 

Which encouraged Penelope to jump into a frustrated monologue about how all Dolly cared about were ‘the size of a man’s biceps, not the size of his heart’ ! The rant pulled a chuckle out of you that reminded your lady’s maids of your presence, and drew their attention immediately to you. 

 

“Alright, your Majesty , if you’re so high and mighty, which Arcguard do you think is the most attractive?” Dolly queried with her trademark harmless bite in her words. The question did catch you off-guard, though. Of course, your mind jumped to Volt. To electric eyes and strength that made your weight a mere pittance. Before you could truly devolve into the form of yourself you became when you recalled your almost-night together, you blinked rapidly and schooled a mock-surprised look onto your face. 

 

“ Me?! Why Dolly, I am a married woman! I wouldn’t dare look at another man but my husband so lustily as you both do!” You kept your voice light, using the exaggerated syllables to hide the fact that your heart was pounding with every inch the girls crept closer to the truth you wouldn’t dare speak aloud. 

 

“Oh, pardon me, your royal holiness ! I hadn’t realized thou wert so devout! As if we don’t see the way Sir Volt looks at you,” Your eyes must have widened unconsciously at the revelation, considering the way Dolly’s smile curled into a smirk at your expression, “Caught’cha.”

 

“ Sir Volt , huh? Quite a pick, your Majesty, I must admit he is quite handsome.” Penelope teased, using a gentle hand on one of your shoulders to spin you to face her, a powder puff held delicately between her fingers but looking very much like a weapon when paired with the inquisitive smile she wore. You’d never let them drag you into these conversations before, so of course they were going to have their fun poking at you the way they did each other.

 

“How,” You took a pause as Penelope fluffed powder onto your skin, using the brief reprieve to determine exactly how you wanted to handle this topic of conversation, “ does he look at me, then?” 

 

“Interested?” Dolly questioned, sidling up to you with one of the larger petticoats you had in the wardrobe held firmly in her hands. Her eyes motioned you to stand, and when you did, the fabric slipped over you with the same practiced efficiency you had come to expect of your dressing routine with the pair. Hands moved rapidly to tie the ribbons of the skirt snug against the small of your back, and then she was peeking her face around Penelope to hear your answer with an eyebrow arched as if to say ‘I’m waiting’. 

 

“Call it morbid curiosity. Even married women have an ego to bolster.” It was easy to blame the interest on vanity. Another queen basking in the attentions of an attractive knight to confirm her beauty or desirability. The truth you would hide from your attentive lady’s maids, though, was that you had already known he found you attractive, if his actions that night had been any indication. 

 

But there was a youthful sort of wonder in your mind at the concept of what he showed others. How he perceived you when you weren’t watching him, the signs that he just wasn’t able to hide when he was around you. The thought sent butterflies roaring through your stomach, and fighting the smile the concept alone gave you was certainly a great triumph.  

 

“Like something worth watching,” You let the contentment you were fighting win for the slightest moment, the corner of your lips quirking up envisioning Volt’s intense gaze softening when he saw you, tracking you until you were out of his sight, “‘Only seen him get that look around Eddie.”

 

Well that certainly got your attention. Dolly was getting a bit too close now. Time to roll the conversation in another direction. 

 

“Eddie? I didn’t know they were close.” You were able to hide your lie as Penelope applied some other sort of powder to your face with a small brush, her movements tactical and precise but requiring you to close your eyes. Dolly paced away from you to straighten out your first dress layer; today’s selection a shade or two lighter than sunset and standing out proudly from the deep blue of your bedding. 

 

“Yep, they got here around the same time that I did,” She straightened and looked at a point beyond your bedroom window to recall the details of her story, “Must’ve been eleven at the time?," Her head cocked to the side before she seemingly found what she had been searching her mind for and called over her shoulder, “Very young, and it showed.” 

 

Her hand smoothed over the dress, laying gowns of different colors on top of it to find the best match in your wardrobe. 

 

“Those two did everything together. Never could separate for the slightest moment or they’d get into a tizzy,” Dolly chuckled at the memory, and you were so enthralled by what she had to say that Penelope had to lightly tap on your shoulder to resume at least some of your attention on where she was fiddling with your makeup, “Then they started pullin’ Eddie in for meetings, started getting Volt in the barracks training up, and they didn’t spend all that much time together after that except when Volt was on his king’s rotation.”

 

You bit back the part of yourself that was used to ribbing Eddie and Volt at the comment, otherwise you were sure that something along the lines of how incorrect that train of thought was- and that your boys spent plenty of time together out of the line of sight of others- would have tumbled out. It took much of your strength to respond only with an interested hum that you hoped sounded as noncommittal as possible. 

 

Dolly was suddenly on you again, this time seeming to be pleased with the color scheme she’d selected for you and ready to start the intricate process of layering the decorative elements of the outfit. You raised your arms up, habit taking over as she draped the orange piece over your other layers and began expertly cinching the dress so that it lived perfectly between too tight and too loose. When she’d finished, she spun you to check the view of the garment from the front. 

 

“But he always gave him that look,” She hooked a finger under your chin, dashing it against the skin there playfully as she turned to retrieve your gown from the bed, “I’d say he trusts you. The same way he trusts Eddie. That’s somethin’ to hang your hat on.”

 

“And, of course, Volt’s been assigned to Eddie more often ever since he was crowned and the rumors started.” Penelope finally chimed into the conversation. You knew that Penelope hadn’t been in the castle quite as long as Dolly had, so her silence throughout the conversation- uncharacteristic as it was- made sense, having less of a foundation of knowledge to work from. Her bringing up rumors set you on alert though. You hoped that there hadn’t been rumblings of anything that would interfere with the plan that the three of you had made. 

 

“Rumors?” You questioned lightly.

 

“Not so much rumors, I suppose, since the coronation. That just confirmed them. There’ve been whisperings. Distaste for Eddie because he’s, well-” Penelope started, but, seeing the interest in your eyes, seemed to defer to Dolly once again. 

 

“The queen before you? She, well,” Dolly looked hesitant, a cross between eager to share the information but reaching for a way to say whatever it was that needed said, her mouth opening and closing before she finally set you with a pitying look, “She wasn’t able to have children.”

 

Ah, so that was what the extra care had been about. The new elephant in the room. Word must have traveled faster than you imagined within these walls, as you hadn’t even taken to telling the girls about the full extent of your injury from the attack yet. Part of you was grateful for the relief in having to do so, but another was intrigued by where this tale was spinning. Clearly the previous royalty was able to have a child in some way, considering Eddie existed in the first place.

 

“And King Ampere was less than faithful.”

 

Oh. The gaps within your mind filled themselves. 

 

“Eddie’s an illegitimate heir?” 

 

The girls nodded solemnly, giving you a moment to process the new knowledge they’d given you. King Ampere and his wife had been incredibly private about their personal lives when they were still alive, so it hadn’t surprised any of their fellow leaders when a son had been revealed far after his birth. Most were simply excited that the pair had an heir at all. But it made sense, his sudden appearance. Him and Volt arriving at the same time, the same age. It did make you wonder, though, about that woman you’d seen in the portrait in Eddie’s bedroom. It had to have been his mother. His true mother, not the one that the royals had attempted to pass off as being so. 

 

It was all starting to click. Eddie’s defensiveness that first meeting you’d been in, cutting off the advisors before they could reveal the truth to you. The way that Keith had attacked you. The message the rebels had been spreading. It was all rooted in one thing; the blood running through Eddie’s veins.

 

“So that’s why the rebel forces want the monarchy stamped out? Why that damn phrase is all over the palace? They think Eddie shouldn’t be king?” Your rage was starting to boil over. Couldn’t they see all the work Eddie was putting in? All of the effort and stress and near-death trials and tribulations he had shouldered to keep Lumireign successful, happy, healthy? Dolly could clearly see the anger bubbling in your expression, which had twisted considerably as you’d spoken.

 

“Make no mistake, your Majesty, for as much as they say they don’t want him as their ruler anymore, you will never find anyone who loves Lumireign more than Eddie.” She answered wisely, heaving the final, heavy piece of fabric up to lay over the entirety of your ensemble and frame your orange piece in the regal navy and gold of the kingdom that held those who had tried to kill you. Through it all, you couldn’t help but come to an understanding that Dolly had seen and lived through much more here at the palace than you may ever be able to wrap your head around.

 

You nodded to her, absentminded in your action. It felt odd, to have so much knowledge around the things that Eddie had evidently worked with considerable effort to hide from you. Even odder to feel so separate from him after all this time. You didn’t know how long you spent, staring off into the distance as the cogs churned in your mind, but Dolly was happy to pull you out of your stupor as the last of your adornments were settled weightily on your neck and waist. 

 

“It sounds to me like you might need to talk to your husband.” She finally suggested, her head tilting in the direction of the door separating your room from Eddie’s. It felt like such an impassable barrier. Something heavy and immovable, but needing to be so nonetheless. The time for Eddie and Volt to take their leave was drawing nearer and nearer with each passing moment, and you couldn’t let them leave with your collective relationships so fractured and unrecognizable from how they had been. Something had to be fixed, and if you had to be the one to do it, so be it.

 

“That I might.”

Notes:

We're so close to the end y'all :') , thank you for all the love and riding this rollercoaster with me!

(Also the consensus seems to be that some extra POVs are needed, so expect a few once the mainline fic is done!)

See you in the next chapter!

Chapter 10: A Dwindling, Mercurial High

Summary:

Time to figure out what’s got your husband acting so strange.

Notes:

Chapter title from illicit affairs by Taylor Swift

It was only when Penelope and Dolly had left you to your own devices for the night, and you had taken an impressively long time to muster up the courage, that your hand finally met the cold metal of the door handle. Somehow, the simple object looked much more daunting today. When you knew that opening it would send you headfirst into a conversation you very well may not be prepared to have. 

 

You willed yourself to stop stalling. Open the door. Just open it. Throw the damn thing open and-

 

Your hand turned, and you managed to restrain your thoughts enough to push the thing open slowly. Sure enough, Eddie wasn’t anywhere to be found in his main bedroom, but a light was spilling forth from the door to his office. You wished this man was capable of giving himself a break even once. 

 

The scene as you crossed his bedroom was a familiar one. How many months had passed since you first made this journey? Since you had been intent on stoking a romantic encounter with Eddie only to find him with Volt? You absently wondered if you would once again be interrupting something by pulling on the door to the office, and were rewarded not with a mind-bending view of your husband nearly in the throes, but with the man bent over a piece of parchment scribbling angrily through something he had written. 

 

“Isn’t this a familiar circumstance?” You called to him quietly, hoping not to startle him too much with the focus he appeared to have on his work at the moment. His eyes raised to you, and a weary smile spread across his lips. 

 

“Good evening, my queen.” He greeted politely, holding out an open hand that, upon receiving your own, pulled it in to place a soft kiss on your knuckles. The seats that you and Volt typically occupied had been pushed against one wall of the room, and you moved to tug one of the chairs over to Eddie’s side wordlessly.

 

According to the documents on the desk, the issue that Eddie seemed to be trying to tackle was one of declining horse populations due to a new disease that seemed to be spreading in the kingdom. Breeders would use the same sires and dames, and the disease had become genetic and seemingly widespread. It had now developed so far that the Arcguard and cavalry had become less mobile and there were now growing tensions around if this would cause a rise in crime, without guards to stop those committing them on as frequent patrols. Below the parchment holding the names of several breeders and showing their decreasing numbers of healthy foals and another of the palace stables showing more and more horses passing at young ages, there was a massive list of concepts Eddie had derived before you’d entered and clearly rejected.

 

You hummed over the items, puzzling through the situation for a moment before settling on what you believed to be the best course of action and reaching across the desk to point at specific pieces of the documents as you spoke. 

 

“Make note of all of the horses bred from the diseased in the previous generation, halt their use in breeding, and arrange for new breeding stock to be brought in from Hearthwyn in exchange for chunked sea salt and Lumireign peaches,” Eddie gave you a puzzled look at the concept. 

 

“My father is a sucker for a Lumireign peach. He’ll value them more highly than they’re worth. And our horses are some of the strongest in the land because they need to haul so much lumber. Any farmer using the new breeding stock should be granted a break in the land tax for rearing horses for the year. The current generation of horses should be healthy enough to fulfill patrol requirements if the cavalry take shorter but more frequent patrol routes, allowing their steeds to rest properly between routes.” You had been focused on the documents on Eddie’s desk, so you’d missed the fact that he had been staring at you with wonder and awe in his eyes for the majority of your explanation until you finally raised your head to garner his thoughts. 

 

The sight had you reeling, and a bit embarrassed at the attention. You hadn’t exchanged much more than pleasantries in several days, so the way that he was looking at you- vulnerable and open and so sharply different to what you’d experienced- set the heat of frustration to your blood. His next statement pushed you over the edge.

 

“You always know what to do, sparkler.” He whispered like a secret, that saccharine look not leaving his eyes. That is, until you felt your face scrunch angrily at the sentiment. 

 

“So you’ve decided to talk to me now, then?” You scowled, snatching a few of the documents away from in front of Eddie so that you could notate your solution for him to put into process later. The ink smudged here and there as you wrote, your exasperation preventing you from having as careful of handwriting as you usually did, “You haven’t spoken to me like a person since I got out of the infirmary. Why?” 

 

Eddie breathed a heavy sigh, leaning back in his chair to run a hand down his face. He was looking tired again, especially in the low light of his office that now highlighted the ridges of his face and bags under his eyes. A spark of concern flared below the vexation, worry blooming that he hadn’t been sleeping again, and you let it stay- albeit muted- for a later time. His eyes were waging a war somewhere you couldn’t see, but you stared them down nonetheless, not ready to accept anything less than the full truth of his absence from you. He refused to return the look when he finally began.

 

“You weren’t supposed to get hurt. In all of this anger toward me and my position as king, I was fine with bearing the burden of one day being harmed or killed by it,” Eddie’s eyes were shining in the candlelight, brimming with emotion that didn’t dare fall, and you had to wonder how much he was keeping to himself. How much was unknown to you and to Volt about what he felt and how he lived. His hand reaching down to wrap around yours startled you, “but when it was you, when it was Volt? I felt so guilty. You two being close to me is what got you hurt. So I thought being distant would mean you being safe.”

 

“I don’t want to be safe if it means I can’t talk to you!” It ripped itself from your throat, not taking any sort of detour to pass through the thought process you’d developed from years of growing up in a palace. No, this was pure, raw emotion that had your hand darting out to turn Eddie’s head so that he had to look at you. So that he had to face you with the tears in his eyes and see the way that yours were mirroring the feelings bubbling to the surface. 

 

His tensed jaw sat in your grasp for longer than you’d intended. In his gaze, you searched for something that would give, something that would grant you access to the man who kept himself so cryptic and hidden from even those he was closest with. You begged silently for it, and when it didn’t come, you let him go with a sigh of your own. 

 

The two of you looked away from one another, time ticking by wordlessly as you each gathered your thoughts. You had anticipated that you would once again be the one to break the heavy silence, but were cut off by Eddie’s voice, soft and quiet.

 

“I don’t think I’ve ever thanked you.”

 

“For what?”

 

“For being so accepting of me and Volt.”

 

You hummed at the concept. Of course, you’d never shared the way that finding out about your boys being in love had broken your heart originally. But they were your boys, after all, you would do anything to make sure they wound up happy, even if it meant that you weren’t in the picture when it happened.

 

“The people wouldn’t care about two men being together, I know that, but it’s the lineage that they care about. We knew we couldn’t risk it after-”

 

“After you?”

 

He fixed you with an expression that was filled with shame and surprise all at once, making it clear that he had truly not expected or wanted you to ever know the truth of his parentage. You felt a flash of pity, knowing he would likely have wanted to tell you in his own way, in his own time, and that the chance to do so had been taken from him. 

 

“You know?” Eddie’s voice was so small, it was hardly recognizable as the one you had come to know and love from the man. Your hands tightened into fists at the wish to comfort him in some way, but your mind caught you before you moved with the reminder that he was being much more vulnerable with you than usual already, and much more might push a boundary you wanted to be sure to respect. You simply nodded.

 

Eddie took a moment to understand what had been revealed to him. His eyes flicking over the different items on the table with his eyebrows furrowed. When he turned back to face you, the openness you found there was jarring, almost violent in its shift from the previous mood of the conversation.

 

“We were so happy, before we came here. My mother and me against the world. We lived out by the water, the tiniest house in the smallest town in Lumireign but it was ours, you know?” He chanced a look at you, and something in the way you were watching him- listening and absorbing every word like the gospel it was to you- must have affected him in some way. Eddie chuckled wetly, shortly, pitifully, and wore a smile as he continued.

 

“We had nothing but a threadbare mattress in the one room we shared, ate when we were lucky enough to, but it never felt all that bad. Because she’d make a game of everything. Taught me to count and how to do arithmetic by asking me questions about the people who’d walk by through the window of the house during the day, and at night she’d go to work at the tavern. She’d come home smelling like sugar and mead. Every few days, she’d steal a sugar cube and ‘mix me a drink’ by crushing it into my water. I’d insist she share it with me. That was the only time we’d get sweet things.” The smile he was wearing dimmed, and a bitter sort of laugh that sounded more like a rush of air escaped him as he shook his head, looking over your shoulder at some point in the distance. 

 

“I was eleven when the carriage and the guards showed up at our door. I never asked her about my father. Didn’t feel like I had to. We were all each other needed. To this day I don’t know how she got tangled up with Ampere. But suddenly we were living in the palace and my mom was a maid and I was being treated like royalty. Told I was royalty. Met Volt- you already know how that story ends-”, he teased, shaking his head at the memories, “and started training. My mother died when I was fifteen. Consumption. I wasn’t allowed to see her, in the end, because they were worried it would spread to me. Irony is poetic, though. That’s also what took out Ampere and his wife six years ago.” 

 

The room had turned dense, thick with an odd sort of tension that didn’t feel heavy to bear, just new. As if you had been granted something secret and beautiful here between the candles. Something that was not lacing this air with anger or annoyance or pain, but with a sacred trust that you would have to hold for the rest of your life with great care. But damn, were you glad to feel its heft on your shoulders.

 

Eddie’s eyes were back on you now, not lost in the vortex of memory he’d had to swim through to divulge all of his story to you anymore. 

 

“I wasn’t created for this life. Being king, it’s not,” he fished for his words with a look of disgust, “it’s not me.”

 

“Even so,” You began, your voice feeling foreign and displaced in this moment where you’d been purely invested in the way Eddie weaved words into the ether, “you are excellent at it. You’re good, and kind, and you love this kingdom even in the times where it has shown no love to you.”

 

Something must have settled in Eddie’s mind then. There was a moment, a movement, that would have been missed at the mere instance of a misplaced blink, but it was there. He cracked a smile so minute that it could have been missed as easily as the shift in his gaze. His hand rose to take your chin between two fingers and ever-so-slightly tip your head down as he pulled you closer so that he could press his lips to your forehead. Eddie lingered there, and you breathed in the feeling, the experience of being here with him for as long as you could. 

 

It would be gone from you soon, you chided your foolish mind for forgetting. How dare you try to revel in the moment that you would never be able to relive? Eddie’s whisper did not help your traitorous mind, instead feeding it more ammunition for your undoing.

 

“You are a constant surprise, my queen.” 

 

When Eddie finally drew away, and you had silently congratulated yourself on not reaching for him to come right back, you knew it was time to discuss the event you had been planning for- waiting for throughout the past several months- the one that would be here in a matter of days.

 

“It’s almost time for you to go.” You murmured, quiet, as if speaking too loudly would spur time to move forward and end this moment before you were prepared to let it slip from your hands.

 

“‘Not sure I’m really ready to go.” Eddie answered in as much of a whisper, eyes scanning over the room. You were sure leaving came with its own set of fears for Eddie. He’d spent so much of his life here, protected in more ways than one from the world he’d spent his childhood in. The idea of having to go back to a world where your existence was much quieter than that of a king’s would be daunting, to say the least. But that wasn’t what Eddie was stuck on, it seemed.

 

“When the rebels attacked, the first thing Volt did was throw me in my safe room,” he began, “Said he was going to do the same for you and he’d come get me when it was all clear. But from the moment that door closed, I felt like I was going insane. Every scream I heard was Volt or you, every bomb that went off was the one that had killed him. I was terrified, sparkler. Genuinely terrified.” He didn’t have to tell you. You could see it plainly in the way his hands tremored as he recalled the experience. How his brows knit together and eyes squeezed shut for just a second longer between every few blinks.

 

“You were scared because you love him. You wanted him to be safe and to come back to you. It’s only natural.” You hoped that your placating was having the desired effect, even if something in your stomach nipped at you in a reminder that you knew the feeling so well because you’d felt it for the same man he had. Hell, for him. The vocalization of the fact that Eddie loved Volt- something so clear that you realized hadn’t been able to be voiced by someone besides them before you- brought a smile to his expression. His voice picked up its tempo as he spoke, as excited as you’d ever seen him to be able to talk freely about Volt to someone.

 

“If I was meant to be anything, it was to be Volt’s, to be-” He tossed his head over to look at you casually- as if it had been an instinct, a natural movement-, but something made him take pause. The electric sort of energy he’d been emanating dimmed the softest bit. “to be with him.”

 

“Do you think you’ll be ready? When the time comes?”

 

“Will you? It’s smooth sailing for us at the end of this; literally. For you, it’s-”

 

“It’s a challenge. And there’s nothing I love more than a good challenge.” His eyes crinkled from the force of his fond smile at your statement, a rich laugh that you wanted to hold onto forever echoing throughout the small room.

 

“I admire you for that, you know. The way you take things in stride so easily. You’re an excellent queen.” 

 

You certainly hoped so. This was not something you’d ever envisioned having to do when you had first been sent to Lumireign, but it felt natural now; stepping into your power in a way that you never would have been permitted to in Hearthwyn. You absently wondered how your father would react when he heard the news. When he watched you strip down the monarchy in Lumireign until nothing remained, and in its place the will of its people stood firmly. The image brought a smile to your face, even if it was dampened by the knowledge that Eddie and Volt wouldn’t be there to watch the kingdom bloom into its true beauty in the end. As long as they were happy. Anything, as long as they got their happy ending. Even placing your own heart on the altar for its sacrifice.

 

“Well, it sounds like both of our lives will be complete when this is over, then.” You finally answered, electing to lean back as you let time pass by your husband’s side.

 

You shared several long moments of silence with Eddie, unknowing of the fact that, for the first time, you were also sharing twin thoughts. Thoughts that your statement couldn’t be further from the truth.

Notes:

The vibes of this chapter have changed so much from when I first outlined the story to now but I’m kinda obsessed with it. Hope y’all enjoyed!

See you in the next chapter!

Chapter 11: In My Blood, It’s Never Over

Summary:

Time is ticking. You’ll make this knight talk if it’s the last thing you do. Good thing your husband is here to help.

Notes:

Chapter title from Forbidden Fruit by Tommee Profitt, Sam Tinnesz, and brooke

You felt like you were doing something wrong, slipping out of your room on the day that you had learned Volt would be patrolling near Eddie’s room. 

 

The man had been on fewer king’s guard rotations recently, making himself scarce anywhere even close to your bedroom as frequently as possible, it seemed. But he wouldn’t be getting away this time. No, a well-placed bribe of an extra day off to Sir Chance had ensured that Volt’s patrol schedule was now known by more than just the man himself and his Arcguardsmen. 

 

Which was precisely how you’d found yourself tucked against a pillar, out of sight of the direction the knight would be coming from next to Eddie’s bedroom door. The cool feeling of the stone pressing through your various layers of dress was a grounding one compared to the racing of your heart. 

 

It only quickened as the quiet ting, ting, ting, of metal-booted footsteps drew nearer. You hated the way the noise still sent a jolt through your heart, but quelled the feeling to the furthest extent you could manage at the mental reminder of your mission; if this didn’t work today, there would be no more chances before Volt and Eddie were scheduled to depart the kingdom and never return. 

 

As the sound finally grew to an impossible volume that signified Volt’s reduced proximity to you, your hand shot out to wrap around a metal gauntlet and pull as hard as you could towards the space where you’d flung Eddie’s door open and into his room. Of course, the guard fought your actions, but you had to imagine that he had decided not to put up as much of a fight upon realizing who had grabbed him. He must’ve underestimated the effects his training had wrought upon you, however, as he tipped precariously into the bedchamber with a clumsy wobble that betrayed the fact that he’d let his guard down a bit too much to resist your newfound strength. 

 

With you both having crashed into the room in a bit of a tumble, a strong hand came from behind the door to slam it shut, its owner taking his own post against the wood in an action that shocked Volt to the point of his jaw falling slack and open. Eddie stood firmly against the exit, and when the other man realized that he was not planning on moving any time soon, his blue eyes darted to the direction of the exit connecting your room and Eddie’s with a frantic look you’d only previously seen on feral animals. 

 

“Her door is locked from her side. Don’t even think about it,” Eddie all but growled, “Now, talk.”

 

Volt was still looking around the room for some way out of the situation you and Eddie had now trapped him in, each look being met with admonishment from Eddie and a disappointed sigh of a breath from you. The balcony- ‘Locked, don’t try.’-, the office- ‘There, too.’-, hell, even the windows- ‘Really? You know they don’t open.’. You had to hand it to him, Eddie really knew his partner like the back of his hand, having been the one to suggest the extra measures and assure you that Volt would attempt to stage some form of escape if you didn’t.

 

Finally, when Volt came to the understanding that he wasn’t going anywhere, he straightened out his back and assumed a position you’d seen entirely too much of over the last two weeks. His eyes hardened into something unreadable as he looked between you and Eddie.

 

“Your Majesties, this is incredibly inappropriate. Please allow me to return to my post.” Volt queried diplomatically, the calm, nonchalant tone in his voice making you want to wrap your hands around his neck. Although he was certainly looking at Eddie and at a point somewhere past you, it was easy to see that he was still refusing to make eye contact with you directly. 

 

Eddie’s scoff was the only thing that held you back from giving the knight a piece of your mind right then and there. 

 

“Inappropriate? Please. We’ve had sex on every surface in this room. Talk.”

 

Every surface- your eyes momentarily looked almost like Volt’s had in his fighting state, and the pictures your mind was conjuring, while decidedly unhelpful to the situation, were certainly doing an excellent job of raising your blood pressure. The bed was obvious, but the plush armchair in the far corner made you wonder- no! Focus!

 

“Volt, you’re avoiding me. Why?” You asked as plainly as possible to give the wordsmith of a man before you no room to wiggle out of the question by finding a loophole in the phrasing. Another suggestion from Eddie that you were immensely grateful for at the moment.

 

To his credit, the white-haired man made an excellent soldier; his expression unwavering and never for even a moment showing a hint of emotion behind the walls he’d erected in his eyes. You felt an extra sting of hurt at the realization that you couldn’t read him in the silent communication you’d found just before the attack. It seemed he was going to be a tougher nut to crack than Eddie had been. Bring it on. His blank expression paired well with his empty voice, speaking from a place of pure duty and obligation. 

 

“I assure you, I am simply following my scheduled routes, your Majesty.”

 

“Stop calling me that, Volt.” Your wishes for your connection to return to the way it was before the attack was clawing its way out of you now, ripping and tearing at your vocal chords so quickly that your mind had no time to vet the words before they came tumbling forth. The off-plan admission had troubled Eddie, whose gaze screamed the question of if you were alright or if he needed to step in. You shot back one that answered him with a subtly ashamed but resounding ‘no’. 

 

“You’re both leaving me in three days. Do you really want to have left things this way?” You sincerely hoped that the answer was ‘no’. Had been holding out for it, in fact. If Volt truly didn’t care about the concept that his last words to you would be something curt and official, dripping with the weight of your respective positions, then there was nothing you could do. You needed him to care. To mind. To want a better outcome for what the two of you had than this. 

 

But something was pushing on your heart. Something sharp and pointed like the tragedy of it all finally coming to a head, or maybe the anger that had been coursing through your veins had made its way to the organ like a poison ready to reap the life it had sown. It felt raw and painful, whatever it was. It spurred you on to break your own determination.

 

“For Gods’ sake, Volt, you had me almost naked against my damn wall not two weeks ago-” 

 

The statement encouraged a choking sort of cough from Eddie, who sputtered and looked on at the pair of you with wide eyes. He held a fist against his lips as he caught his breath from the action, and you turned to look at Volt, even if he would not return the gesture.

 

“I thought you would’ve told him.” 

 

“He did,” Eddie answered, standing back up to knock his posture back into a lean against the heavy wood of the door he continued to guard steadfastly, “but only that you’d kissed. ‘Didn’t say anything about you being near naked or on any walls, huh, Volt?” If you’d have been paying more attention, you would’ve caught the way Eddie’s eyes shaded a touch darker as the words laced through the air. 

 

Volt finally cracked a small smirk at the two of you, but made no move to initiate a discussion or finally meet your eyes. And that gave you all the answers you needed.

 

Whatever that piercing feeling was had struck home, and you began to go over the true gravity of the fact that you’d already looked in Volt’s magnetic eyes for the last time. Had already experienced the final press of his lips on yours and lost the chance at putting a name to whatever flame danced between you; the hopeful thing now fully extinguished and smoking as the knight let it die out. 

 

“Alright,” you admitted to the air, “we tried. This will just be the way we ship you off then. I will hold this memory as our last together for the rest of my days, Volt. I hope you are comfortable doing the same.” You let a sort of rocky propriety form over your own words, though it felt like nothing compared to that hollowness Volt had seemingly mastered. Making a move towards the hallway door, you gave Eddie a passing nod of your head to signal his ability to step away. It wasn’t until your hand had begun to turn the handle that you heard the exhalation burst from behind you. 

 

“Wait,” the simple, one-word response gained your attention as if it had been a full proclamation, and when you shifted to face the knight again, he seemed to be standing a few degrees more slumped than the ramrod straightness you’d seen him assume earlier, “You’re going to make me say it, aren’t you?” 

 

You nodded, and the man flexed his fingers a few times before electing to take a seat on the edge of Eddie’s bed, those fingers now gripping the footboard under his knees with a strength that made his knuckles flicker white every few seconds. He still wouldn’t dare to look at you, but the lack of professionalism was at least a step in the right direction.

 

“One of my men almost killed you, my queen,” the nickname set the ice in your blood to thaw, “Someone I chose and trained to know the human body and its anatomy better than some doctors. To know how to warn someone with a wound in battle, but how to kill when needed.”

 

His hands rose from the footboard to catch his face in his upturned palms, his hands closing and opening so that they applied pressure on the bridge of his nose and his chin as they dragged down his expression. You could’ve been easily convinced that the action was wiping away any vestiges of joy along with it. 

 

“I was the one who taught him to kill through the abdomen. I taught him to do what he did to you,” he huffed a breath, and those shaky hands were carding his long white hair from his face. You wished that yours could replace them, take his face in your hands and tell him it would all be alright, but his eyes showed that he was somewhere else entirely, “And the blo-” Volt looked almost like he was going to be sick, color slowly draining from his face.

 

“Lord, the blood. It’s an image I can’t scour from my mind; the thick, metallic smell of it, the revolting, viscid feeling of it on my hands, soaking through my armor. Your head lax and tipped back against the wall and your body slumped in the great puddle of it all.” Eddie was laboring through his breathing behind you, audibly concerned by the way his partner’s voice was trembling and the soft tremor in his hands. You had to admit that you shared the concern. Of course, Volt would be impacted by having found you in that safe room. The fact that it hadn’t crossed your mind had you silently cursing yourself, but you took the moment to remind yourself that this had to happen. If you were going to help him, you had to know, had to feel it the way that he did. 

 

“After I brought you to the medics, all I could think of was how you looked dead. I’ve seen corpses plenty of times. That gray, lifeless sort of pallor and the limpness in their limbs when they’ve just met their end. When I carried you, I thought that I’d already lost you,” He paused, squeezing his eyes shut and heaving in a shaking breath before finally, blessedly, turning his head up to gaze at you, “I’m terrified that if I look at you, you’ll look like that again; like something dead and cold. I don’t want to think of you that way, my queen. I couldn’t bear it.”

 

You paced the few steps between him and where you’d been standing easily, slipping to the floor to kneel before him and cup each of his cheeks between your hands. A wet smile broke your lips when he shut his eyes to tip into the warmth provided by the touch. The one not quite as tightly pressed against his skin slipped up Volt’s cheek to tangle in his hair, and he breathed a long, deep breath that puffed against the heel of your unmoving hand. 

 

“Look at me now, Volt,” His eyebrows knit together as if the fear of doing so were still taking its toll on him, but his eyes blinked open moments after, sliding from the floor to your face with a small hitch in his throat. You had to hold your own back as that vivid, shocking blue reminded you of the power it held over you, “What do you see? What can you feel? Tell me.”

 

The man stilled under your touch, searching you with those eyes, and you watched as he broke down a layer of the walls he’d put up when he answered you.

 

“Your eyes are bright. Beautiful, naturally, but bright. They were dull when I found you. Unfocused.” He muttered into the air, continuing when you gave him an encouraging nod that indicated you wished for him to do so, “Your skin was cold in that room, but I can feel the heat of your hands on me now. You’re warm. Warm and alive.”

 

You were sure the intimacy of the scene you were painting together could be felt even miles from here, and when one of Volt’s hands came to rest on your cheek as yours did on his, you were scarcely convinced that your heart would not cease its thunderous beating right then. His thumb trailed over your skin like he was committing its texture to memory, and when it skated over your bottom lip? When he whispered a private ‘You’re flushed,’ and his eyes traced down to where his thumb rested? That’s when you realized how little distance the pair of you had created between each other. Had you been leaning into each other’s touches this whole time? Moving at imperceptibly slow paces as if that would ensure you found your destination without being seen? 

 

Being seen. Eddie.

 

You blinked rapidly as you leaned back from Volt like you’d been burned by his touch. You weren’t entirely sure that you hadn’t. 

 

“See? Very alive. Not changing any time soon.” You certainly hoped your voice didn’t betray how lost in the moment you’d become. The disappointment Volt communicated to you at losing your touch was soft, but the feeling of knowing exactly what he was thinking again was a comforting one. You hoped it comforted him as well. After Eddie’s shock at the extent of your previous kiss, and Volt’s clear intent on hiding how far it had gone, you hadn’t wanted to poke the proverbial bear by being so openly romantic in front of him. You hardly knew where you stood with your husband, and to risk a loss so great when so little time was left with them was something you were unwilling to do. 

 

“Will you be glad not to fight anymore?” You asked Volt quietly, the sound nearly drowned out by the increasing volume of Eddie’s movement from the door to sit on the bed beside Volt. He reached over to lace their fingers together and the knight accepted the movement easily, the barest hint of a smile forming on his lips. 

 

“I suppose I will. It does take a toll on the body after so long spent fighting, working, training every day. A rest will be quite pleasant.” 

 

“What will you do with all your time when you aren’t a knight?” You turned your eyes to Eddie to finish the question, “Aren’t a king?” The pair looked at each other for a moment, eyes squinting and eyebrows raising as their expressions morphed subtly in their private conversation.

 

“If the quill is mightier than the sword, I shall quite like to experience its weight instead of the one I’ve come to know. We will still have our work, of course, but I think I would find comfort in the life of a poet.” Volt answered succinctly, and you couldn’t help but agree that his flowing words that always somehow managed to take on a life of their own would lend themselves well to such an effort. Looking at Eddie simply earned you a shrug, but he smiled all the while as he spoke.

 

“I like fixing things. Making them better. ‘Worked with the palace blacksmith and carpenter in my spare time as a kid, and liked doing that. Who knows what I’ll end up getting my hands on.” You watched the familiar smirk of someone who knew exactly what they were going to say next forming on Volt’s face, and as lightning-fast as you could, you had your hand over his mouth to prevent the undoubtedly filthy comment from slipping out.

 

The man laughed behind your hand, causing you and your husband to join him as you returned your hand to your lap.

 

“King Eddison and Sir Volt, also known as Volt and Eddie from the bar, Volt writes poetry and Eddie does repairs, they’re in love. Sounds like a good life.” You summarized with a smile plastered on your face. You hoped that it didn’t look as forced as it was. It hadn’t been a lie, it did well and truly sound like a good life, and you were sure that they would be supremely happy in that life. The image of the pair of them, settled in a home in Pantreia while the days passed them by in blissful, domestic comfort, was one that made your heart flare with warmth. 

 

“I suppose it does.” Volt uttered simply, looking at Eddie with a lovesick look that had Eddie rolling his eyes even as he failed to contain his wide grin from sprouting.

 

This wasn’t a time to borrow your grief from your future self, this was a time to enjoy the limited hours you had left with them. To soak up every second of their voices and their laughter so that you could send them off confident in the knowledge that you had savored every moment. 

 

The three of you fell into easy conversation about the horrendous date Sir Chance took Penelope on a few days prior, and the sound of your collective laughter from behind a door was all Sir Duncan needed to hear before he rolled his eyes fondly and stepped into Volt’s place on rotation. 

Notes:

Sometimes we forget to tie up loose ends in our outlines and that means we have to add a chapter. Figured y’all wouldn’t be mad about it ;)

Y’ALL THE MOMENT WE’VE BEEN BUILDING TO IS HAPPENING NEXT CHAPTER ISN’T THAT WILD AHHHH WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE’S ONLY THREE CHAPTERS LEFT AHHHHH

Chapter 12: Be Far and Fly Away

Summary:

The departure.

Notes:

Chapter title from Harpy Hare by Yaelokre

The sun had no right to rise on this day. 

 

If it knew the trouble it was bringing, would it be able to shine so brightly? You certainly felt as though your own light had been dimmed. 

 

Today, the advisors believed that they were sending Eddie and Volt on a simple diplomatic mission to Pantreia that would last no more than a fortnight. A mission that could of course be handled by the king himself and Sir Volt alone. After all, Pantreia were great allies, and they wouldn’t dare allow the Arcguard’s protection of their dear queen to lessen on their account. The sentiment made your heart tighten achingly in your chest now as you pointedly ignored the knock of Penelope and Dolly wishing to prepare your beauty for the day.

 

Today, you would say goodbye to the people who had taken possession of your heart and mind. The boat had been prepared by the Arcguard and had made the journey to the only Lumireign port ahead of when you would set out in a carriage with Volt and Eddie, under the guise of wishing to say a proper goodbye to your husband. Your stays felt too tight today, you could hardly take in a full breath. Maybe it was the weight of what was to come, or the thought of ruling alone that would come after it was all said and done. You blamed the stays. 

 

Tomorrow, they would find the shredded remnants of an old boat with a message in a bottle already written to you and given to Antonio, the carpenter, to place at the scene of the crime. Volt and Eddie had shooed you out of the latter’s bedchamber when they’d written it. You wanted to scratch the dry and heavy powders your lady’s maids had applied to your face as if it were any other day. Maybe without the feeling of it against your skin, you’d feel more confident in your ability to behave as though today wouldn’t mark the end of a journey that felt much longer than a few mere months. 

 

Stepping out of your bedroom felt like a death sentence. Seeing Eddie waiting in the corridor for you was your executioner, Volt at his side the axe ready to swing down. Your boys were somehow more beautiful today than they’d ever been, even with not a thing about them altered. Although memory was a fickle thing, you hoped this image would live in your mind forever, alongside the bounty of other memories you’d made by their sides. Eddie dancing with you around the floor at your wedding. Volt’s smirk you’d become quite familiar with greeting you for the first time in the gardens. 

 

Eddie held out his arm to you, and you took it with a smile ghosted on your expression. The man seemed lost in thought as you made your way through the castle and out to the grand entrance. You couldn’t blame him, considering it was taking all of your willpower not to slip into a similar state yourself. Your mind perked up at the chance to thrust more memories to the forefront of your thoughts. Twining your fingers with Eddie’s outside the parlor at the revelation he’d been the one to send you the gifts on your vanity. The image of the two of them lost in their heady moment alone that had started it all. 

 

The carriage is beautiful. Everything in Lumireign is beautiful. Hearthwyn was built for efficiency. To stand tall and stand forever like the fortress it was, like the mighty oaks that littered its land and shaded the kingdom with their canopies. You surprised yourself in the way that you had grown used to the beauty. It was easy to admire. As easy as it was to admire the men you’d found within its boundaries. Proposing the idea to fake their deaths in your bedroom, cloaked in darkness and a desire for freedom. Disclosing the hope you had for it all to work out and watching their expressions go stormy at the admission. 

 

Every jostle of a carriage wheel overcoming a stone shuffled you into Eddie’s side the slightest bit. His hand eventually came to lay a steadying hand on your knee, the touch muffled by layer after layer of wool and linen and silk until it was barely noticeable at all, but paired with a smile that reflected a hope you’d set alight in him months ago. The weight of Volt on top of you, staring down at you in shock, with the hard earth pressed against your back and your swords on the ground forgotten. The three of you weeping together in the wake of the rebel attack. 

 

You had to hold tight to the seat of the carriage to keep yourself from canting forward and out of the bench entirely. You were here. The journey was so much shorter than you thought it would be. But couldn’t that be said about this, then, too? This experience of being the queen of a kingdom you had found a home in, found love in, found yourself in; it, too, had been much shorter than you’d envisioned. Cut off much too quickly. Learning about the gentle woman Eddie’s mother had been. Reminding Volt that you were flesh and blood and there in his hands, not lying cold in a grave. 

 

Today wasn’t about memories, though, was it? It was about what was going to happen in a matter of minutes. The rift that would soon divide you like nothing you’d ever experienced. Had you felt this deep of a sorrow when you’d left Hearthwyn? Had that carriage ride that took hours more than this one felt as deep and life-altering? No, you decided. Today was far worse. A far deeper dread had settled over you like a cloud ready to burst forth with cold rain and crackling lightning. You were here. It was time. 

 

You stepped out of the carriage and onto a long stretch of wooden dock. And there it was before you. Somehow, in all the plans and secrets and emotion, you’d managed to forget you’d be coming face to face with an element that roiled within you like its waves that now crashed thunderously onto the shore. You were staring at the ocean, after all this time. And it was every bit as beautiful as you’d imagined. Swirling greens and blues and browns that- yes, you decided- you would never be able to truly capture with mere pigment and canvas. Her beauty was grander than anything you’d ever experienced before.

 

So then why did it feel so empty to look her in the eyes and bear witness to it like you’d always dreamed? 

 

When Eddie and Volt had departed the carriage behind you, Volt whispered a soft command to the coachman. You caught the barest whisper of something like ‘their Majesties shall like to say goodbye in private,’ and a quick response from the coachman before he whipped the reins and sped off to await you in another location. 

 

The port was silent. Not a soul present at the dock aside from the three of you. Volt must have sent word to clear it today for your and Eddie’s safety. You could see the boat the boys would be departing on bobbing idly in the waves, tied to the dock to prevent its escape. It was a gorgeous vessel. Dark, stained wood inlaid with the royal crest along its side. The cog was small, but would more than serve the purpose your boys sought of it. You were sure that Antonio had pieces that resembled its beautiful build broken and ready to be scattered on this shore in the night. 

 

You finally turned to look at the two of them, staring at you already with a thorough sadness plaguing their expressions and the way they were carrying themselves today. The three of you paced toward the vessel in silence, pausing only when you were standing before its gangway and far from the shore. All that could be heard was the whistling of the salty wind and the rhythmic crashing of waves on sand and stone. 

 

Volt stepped to your side first, taking one of your hands in his own and looking into your eyes as if there was something there that he hadn’t yet discovered. Something that would haunt his mind like a mystery for the rest of time. He smiled at you, and when his hand rose to lay against your cheek, you let yourself take the small comfort that leaning into it provided.

 

“Goodbye, Volt.” You whispered shakily into the breeze, using all of your remaining strength to bite back the tears that were fighting your eyes to emerge, “I’m so glad I met you.”

 

He gave the briefest nod, tugging in a breath almost as tumultuous as your words had been, as he used his thumb to brush back a hair that had come loose from your style in the crisp air.

 

“Goodbye, my queen. Meeting you, knowing you, was one of the greatest beauties and joys of my life.” To your credit, you managed to keep the threatening tears at bay. That is, until Volt dipped his head down to press his lips against yours. They flowed freely between your cheeks and Volt’s.

 

This kiss was not like any you’d shared with him before. There was no urgency in the way you moved with him now. No threat of an impending attack to load the connection with life-threatening tension. No fiery passion of arousal to make the touch messy or heated. Just a simple, long moment of the two of you drinking each other in one last time. A kiss that you would remember. An anchor in the rough ocean keeping you steady even when you could no longer see the steadiness’ source. 

 

Volt kissed you like you meant something. Like you were treasured and adored. And when he finally pulled away, you trailed after his lips like they were water in a vast, desolate desert. He stared at you for a long moment, then looked over to Eddie and nodded, stepping across the gangway and onto the craft that would take him from you forever. 

 

When your husband stepped up to be toe-to-toe with you, there was no more strength. No more reservation or ability to fight left in you. You could feel the hot tears surging forth through your makeup and making a mess of your eyes, cheeks, and nose in their path. Eddie’s hands reaching up to wipe them away with a thumb on each of your reddened cheeks only made them come faster, harder, an unstoppable storm as the full weight of the situation settled onto you. 

 

You collided against Eddie’s chest and he held you there like he needed the contact just as much as you did. Each breath that expanded his chest against yours was emitted with a tremor. He was doing about as well at keeping his composure, it seemed, as you had before Volt had kissed you. 

 

In a turn of events that you had hoped for but never anticipated, your husband had become your confidante. Someone you wanted to go to with everything. When you looked at Eddie, there was a connection there that mirrored the one you had with Volt, deepened by the knowledge of the burden the crown laid on one’s head. You trusted him. And you would be alright pushing down the love you felt for him to have him as this, if this was all he wanted of you. You would care for him as deeply as he would allow. Wherever you two were in the world and regardless of distance.

 

You pulled back from the embrace to say as much, only to find him already looking at you. The warmth of his hand traveled up your arm to find a place on your neck, just barely brushing at your jaw as a million thoughts flew through his gaze. Your lips parted to say something, but the notion was swiftly removed from your mind as his lips crashed against yours. 

 

He was gone from you before you had the chance to decipher exactly what had been happening, and you already missed the contact. Eddie was breathing heavy now, the act of such brazen romanticism clearly having shaken him to complete. He wasn’t showy with his love. And you could see that now. 

 

Pieces were clicking into place, but your mind did not let them complete too much of the puzzle before Eddie was speaking.

 

“I had to. I know you may not see me the way you see Volt, but if this was my last chance to know what it felt like to kiss you, I couldn’t let it go.” 

 

There was nothing else to do in your mind than what came next. You flung your arms around Eddie’s neck and tugged him down to kiss you properly. And damn, did he kiss you then. You let yourself lick into his mouth greedily, desperate for a taste of him if this was the only opportunity you’d ever have to do so. Kissing Eddie felt like coming home at the end of a long, arduous journey. Like something slotting perfectly into place after forever spent being disjointed. His arm wrapped snug around your waist, pulling your body to be flush with his as he devoured you. 

 

You wanted to kiss him until there was no doubt in his mind that you were as much his as you were Volt’s. As much yours as the man who looked at the pair of you like you hung the stars and painted the constellations into the night sky. Eddie kissed you like it was a promise. Like he wanted you to know the heights of his affection and never forget them. To feel them as innately as you felt your own name. 

 

Eddie tasted like the warm spices that dusted the pastries in the palace. You could get drunk off of it easily, but knew you’d eventually have to come up for air. Separating felt almost painful, though Eddie’s grip didn’t let you go too far.

 

“Does that suffice as an answer?” You teased, leaning up into his space so that your nose brushed against his, and he laughed as he dipped his head to press his forehead against yours, still catching his breath from the exertion. Thoughts leapt up from this way and that within your mind, interjecting one another until a full picture had formed. 

 

Eddie sending you the gifts. The looks he and Volt would exchange that were tipped in dread and sorrow any time you made a comment about them having full lives after the plan. ‘Only jealous that he-’ that he wasn’t there with you. His frantic search for you after the attack. ‘If I was meant to be anything, it was to be Volt’s, to be-’ yours. The way his eyes darkened with unspoken interest when he learned about your kiss with Volt in your room. 

 

It was always right in front of you. You were just too damn blind to see it. 

 

“All this time?” You asked him softly, too scared of breaking this moment to do more than whisper as you searched his eyes.

 

“From the moment you teased me about the tart at our wedding. I told Volt that night that you’d be the death of me, though, I wasn’t quite aware of how literally I would come to mean that.” His voice was almost softer than yours as he beheld you here in his arms, finally bridging the gap of your own making. 

 

“So you both-” You wouldn’t dare finish the thought, the hope of it all caught up in your throat like a blockade that refused to let the words out. The last remains of your pessimism towards your situation clinging on for dear life and waiting to be drowned out in totality. 

 

“We love you, sparkler.” Volt chimed from as close as he could get to the two of you while still being on the boat. And wow, did that statement flare your heart and soul to life in a way you hadn’t thought previously possible.

 

“And I love you both. So much.” That seemed to earn you another deep kiss from Eddie, his hands moving to tangle in your hair in a way that tugged exactly as it needed to for a soft gasp to echo past your lips into his. 

 

But when you pulled apart this time, you found dread spreading its foul pollution over your heart once more. It didn’t matter that they loved you, that you had finally told them and were happy. Because they still had to go. There was still no way for them to be together within the palace walls. 

 

It was always going to end this way. 

 

And the understanding of it all washed over the three of you like the waves lapping at the bottom of the cog. None of you dared to utter another word, determined for the last things you said to each other to be the final, resolute knowledge that you shared a kind of love that survived attempts at your life, that lived through separation and traversed kingdoms. The shared hope that you would one day find each other again, when the dust had settled. Even if that was not today. 

 

You watched your boys sail away after sitting between them on the ship for a period that felt at once like forever and not enough time at all, tucked against Volt’s side while Eddie slung an arm over both of your shoulders. Stepping away from them- fleeting kisses as casual as if they would see you in the morning like always fresh on your lips and the phantom feeling of their arms wrapped tightly around you in an embrace that said everything they didn't burned into your skin- was a herculean task. 

 

When the ship was a mere speck on the horizon, you turned your back on the dock and the ocean that carried them from you to find the coachman. 

 

Riding back to the palace, you could feel your mind shifting, changing to settle into the new mask of the woman who would be the final queen of Lumireign. You would love and adore this kingdom, even as it forced you away from the men who loved you. Setting it free would be your greatest feat. 

 

That night, after Penelope and Dolly had readied you for bed and gone for the evening, you let yourself into Eddie’s room. Sleep would claim you between sheets that perfumed the room in the spiced, warm smell that clung to your husband’s clothes and a softer, but still certainly present scent of pure nature that you associated with strong arms and long, white hair tied away from vibrant eyes. You were alone now, but ready. Even as the sorrow choked you with sobs until there were no more tears to give, you knew that you could do this. You wouldn’t let them down. You couldn’t, after everything.

 

The work began tomorrow.

Notes:

I promise the fluff at the end of this is going to be so so worth it.

Chapter 13: Echoes of Your Footsteps

Summary:

You have unfinished business in Lumireign.

Notes:

Chapter title from Delicate by Taylor Swift

(which might as well be the theme song of EddiexVoltxMC, and I will die on that hill)

You had no need for false tears when the messenger entered your parlor brandishing Eddie’s crown, now covered in sand and shining with ocean water. The three of you hadn’t discussed this. Maybe that was why Eddie had left it with Antonio to plant; to pull a believable reaction out of you.

 

Sir Chance and Sir Duncan, previously flanking the entrance to the room on their queen’s rotation, rushed to your side when your knees gave out. You couldn’t hear them over the rushing in your ears, but you saw the way they glanced at each other in anguish at the collective understanding that if the king had been lost to the water, their captain had, as well. 

 

Eddie’s crown was heavy in your hands, the soft inner lining sodden with salt water and coated thickly with sand from the shore you’d bid your boys goodbye on the day before. He didn’t wear it that often, but you knew the thing like the back of your hand. It lived in a grand, glass case in his room for special occasions. Seeing it without him there, especially with it in such a state of wear from the abuse of the pounding waves and rough grit, made your heart ache at his loss. You knew it wasn’t real. That he was out there with Volt, probably touching ground in Pantreia any minute now if they hadn’t yet already, but gone from you in a way that would change your existence forever.

 

The messenger had to stoop down to get your attention as he extended a hand to you. There, his fingers curled lightly around the curve of the glass, was the bottle and letter that you had discussed. 

 

“Your Majesty, the carpenter who discovered the wreckage instructed that this go right to you. Said it opened with an order to be read only by the queen herself.” You were sure that this was a lie, something that Antonio had been instructed to say to ensure whatever was written on that scraggly piece of parchment was seen by your eyes and yours alone. 

 

The cork of the bottle came out easily, having been opened already once before, but as you pulled the parchment from its glass home, you looked at the trio you had amassed before you. A deep breath allowed you to school your expression into that of your station.

 

“A private moment, please. Sir Duncan, will you summon the advisors to the chancery? Tell them I will join them when I have concluded matters here. Sir Chance?” The man perked up at the sound of his name, “Please instruct Dolly and Penelope to await me in my chamber. I believe I will need my powders reapplied before I meet with the-” you grimaced at the now incorrect possession of the palace and its inhabitants, “with my advisors.” 

 

The pair stared at you open-mouthed for a long moment before standing to exit. It was Sir Duncan who paused at the parlor doors when the messenger and Chance had departed, turning back to you with a pitying look painted on his usually cheerful face. 

 

“I’m sorry for your loss, your Majesty,” he murmured softly so that only the two of you could hear, and checked over his shoulder for unexpected company before continuing, “both of your losses.”

 

You had thought that you would be able to keep your expression neutral- if not confused- in response to his implication, but something must have flickered in the look that told him he was correct, because he simply smiled at you. The thought had crossed your mind that you wouldn’t be able to grieve Volt as properly as Eddie, with Eddie having been your husband and Volt having been- to the world, at least- merely your guard. Having an opportunity to share in your grief with someone who was seemingly much more observant than you’d given him credit for would be rare moving forward. You mouthed a silent ‘thank you’, which was enough for him to turn back to the hallway and shut the parlor doors softly behind him as he left you alone with the message.

 

Shaky hands unspooled the parchment, and Eddie’s familiar script met you, hints of Volt’s less-polished writing peppering the page.

 

‘Our queen,

 

Should all go according to plan, we are now- to the world- lost to the waves forever. There are not enough words to recount how grateful we are to you, not only in your choosing to aid us in our escape, but in the act of you simply being who you are. 

 

If we were courageous in our last moments with you, you know the measure you hold in our hearts, and that while they will be fulfilled in part by the lives we now may live together, they will ache in equal part in your absence. 

 

We wish that the full realization of your importance to us could have been voiced at a more opportune time, but the truth is that this journey was as much about us as it was about you. We would be remiss if we were to steal your dreams of freedom from you for a life as a commoner— though the image of domestic bliss alongside the woman who will always be our queen is one that does stir our hearts in joy.’ You chuckled minutely at the way the handwriting shifted drastically for Volt to say his piece before returning to Eddie’s elegant hand.

 

‘You deserve your freedom from this life more than anything, our spark in the night. When you have done what must be done, please find it. Go, chase it with every breath. Take the world by storm in the way only you can, knowing that somewhere in it are two men who love you endlessly, and who will dream of you eternally.

 

Yours, always,

Eddie & Volt’

 

Your heart was thumping a hard and steady rhythm in your chest, emotion swelling throughout your body as you read through the letter once, twice, a third time, hearing every word in Eddie’s deep voice, interjected with Volt’s lilting accent every so often at the words either written by him or clearly originating from his mind. You had been absolutely right in your assertion to Chance; you were going to need a touch-up on the makeup that had been washed away where tears tracked down your cheeks. 

 

Penelope and Dolly kept exchanging looks over your head when you finally made your way to your chambers, the message in a bottle finding a new home on your vanity where a vase of beautiful roses once resided. You were thankful for the speed with which word spread in the castle now, but wished they’d stop looking at you like something fragile. 

 

Though, you supposed you were fragile, in a way. You did worry that the mention of either of your boys at this juncture would start your eyes watering again. Not for their false death or out of interest in keeping the lie afloat, but for the way you itched to have them in your arms again, to feel their eyes on you with the weight that you hadn’t realized figured so heavily into your day-to-day until now. You wanted them here, dammit. You wanted to be with them. 

 

The advisors, you found later in the chancery already waiting for you and murmuring in hushed tones, were apparently much more interested in what you had to say now that Eddie was gone. A bitter part of you wanted to curse them all for being so flippant with their loyalty while they were under the impression that their king had died suddenly. But you needed to show them your strength now, to keep them ready to listen to you for when you would send their current world crashing down.

 

“Your Majesty, we will need to draft a statement to the people announcing King Eddison’s and Sir Volt’s deaths and plans to move forward. It will need to come from you.” One of them informed you with an air of caution hovering around him. It took you a brief moment to recall that he had been the one Eddie had defended you to during your early days at the palace, and you failed to properly fight the smugness you felt at his hesitancy.

 

“Of course,” You answered plainly, pulling a deep breath through you before locking eyes with the man who was taking your words down for the official palace statement. When you read it back that night, you were still glowing with pride over the way your diplomacy lessons had aided you in its creation.

 

‘My Dear Subjects,

 

It is with a heavy heart that I announce the untimely passing of my dearest husband, King Eddison of Lumireign, and the captain of the Arcguard, Sir Volt. 

 

The king and his guard set sail yesterday morning to negotiate new trade agreements with our allies in Pantreia, and the remnants of their cog- along with several personal items that have been returned to the palace- were found along the shoreline of the western port as the sun rose on this morning as confirmation of their fates.

 

Though my heart aches at the loss of my husband, whom I loved wholly, we must move forward as a kingdom. As a united people. 

 

Effective immediately, Sir Duncan Shuttlecock of the Arcguard shall assume the position of Captain of its ranks. I have all the faith in the world that he will serve our people diligently, and will make Sir Volt proud. 

 

While I feel a great loss at the notion that the late king and I were unable to conceive an heir prior to his passing, I believe that there is no soul on this earth who could take his place in my heart, and do not intend to take steps to determine a suitable king-consort to fill his crown. 

 

I reflect the will of the people, my people, and will immediately begin discussions with my honorable advisors to construct a leadership of the people, by the people here in Lumireign. I do so in honor of my beloved husband and dear captain, who loved her and her citizens as much as I do.

 

Official arrangements to honor the lives of both King Eddison and Sir Volt will remain private.’

 

As proud as you had been of your official handling of the news, and as receptive as the advisors had been to it, you had expected the kingdom to grant you at least a number of days before conspiracies would form. Unfortunately, you were not so lucky. 

 

Within the day of the statement being released to the public, whispers were already plaguing the streets of the kingdom and the corridors of the palace. 

 

“They can’t possibly think our lady had something to do with it?!” You caught Penelope whispering angrily to Dolly one day, letting them believe the wind from your place on the balcony had dulled your hearing enough to hide their conversation.

 

“There are tons of theories, Penelope, but they’ve got no proof of anythin’ unsavory. It’s all talk. Don’t let it get to ya, and certainly don’t go telling her about any of it! She’d be a wreck,” Dolly paused as she fluffed a pillow aggressively, setting the downy thing back into its place with a burdened sigh, “My heart breaks for her, y’know? Both of them gone, just like that. Doesn’t surprise me at all, her doin’ what she’s doin’.” 

 

What you were doing, in this instance, was finally utilizing the paint set Eddie and Volt had given you. Your thinnest brush glided over the thick parchment in sure, if slightly rusty, strokes. You had to get this just right. Had to get the image out of your head and onto the paper so that you didn’t have to rely on such a fickle, moldable thing as memory to retain the knowledge of your boys.

 

The way their jawlines cut sharp profiles or their lips could paint an even more impressive image than you could create on canvas through the mere touch of them alone. It had to be put down somewhere for you to hold onto, to look to on days when your mind failed you or was so overcome with emotion the images it made began to blur. And laying down the perfect base tones of Volt’s hair was an easy task to pretend to be focused on while your mind was actually inside with your lady’s maids.

 

“What do you think of all of this voting stuff? Do you think it will work here?” Penelope queried quietly, tidying the trays and pots of powders and liquids she’d used on you today, even if they wound up being for naught with you holed up on the balcony all day.

 

“I’m certainly interested in the whole thing. It gives people like us the chance to voice our thoughts and make actual change. I just hope whoever ends up in charge has their head on straight,” A long pause sounded from behind you, and by the way you felt the crackle of eyes on your back, you had to imagine that she was looking at you now, “And I hope they’re kind to our lady.” She concluded after a moment. 

 

Neither of them spoke much after that, and you continued to bring your boys’ faces to life until the sun melted into the horizon. You would miss the girls when you were gone. 

 

It was the advisors, hesitant to give up their power and with a certain amount of distaste for how you had come to operate these gatherings, who would give you the most trouble in the establishment of the new regime. Every time you would demand the start of a final drafting session of the laws governing the individual who would take highest leadership, they would push and push and push back on you, and on more than one occasion, it had been all you could do not to snap and show them just how ‘emotional’ a woman in power could be since they were so concerned. 

 

Frankly, you’d dealt with enough over the last few weeks, with the narrative having shifted from you merely being involved in your husband’s ‘death’ to you having murdered him in cold blood to ascend to power. 

 

The first night you’d overheard the rumor from a trio of sweet, passing maids, you’d thrown your hand mirror so hard at the wall that the metal had left an egregious scrape in the stone just beside the door to Eddie’s old room; now like a mausoleum of the man’s life. A museum of your time in Lumireign that had lost the scent from its previous tenant weeks ago and now struck only fury in your heart.

 

The day the advisors finally put ink to parchment, six gruelling months after you had first released the statement initiating the process, you stared out over your kingdom to the hills that separated it from Pantreia; far in the distance and made pale by the layer of fog that hung in the air that day. You wondered if Eddie and Volt could feel that something had finally changed. That the world they’d known was moving towards a more beautiful tomorrow. You hoped, if they knew, that they were proud. That was the first night since they’d left that you spent in Eddie’s bed. 

 

Once the documents were written and distributed to the people, it was as if a new energy had invigorated the kingdom. Discussions around every corner of who they all thought the new ruler would be. What corner of the kingdom would they come from? How would they measure up to the Watts’ lineage and the dowager queen? It made your heart the slightest bit lighter to hear the halls filled with such hope. Even more hopeful when Dolly stepped into your chambers alone one day requesting a private conversation with you. 

 

“I’m resigning from my post. Effective immediately, if the crown would be so kind.” She told you simply, and you couldn’t help the way your eyes widened at the sudden request.

 

“Dolly, I know that I haven’t been quite myself since-” You gulped, still not fully able to get yourself to wrap your lips around that particular lie. It always brought you back to the night of the rebel attack, when you had truly feared for their lives, “But if I have made this an unfit working environment in any way-”

 

“Not at all, your Majesty,” Dolly interrupted with a smile. There was a certain kind of light in her eyes today that you hadn’t seen from her before, “I want to run for office. And I can’t do that as your lady’s maid.”

 

Of course. You weren’t sure how you hadn’t thought of her before. Intelligent and charismatic, with knowledge of the palace’s inner workings, but still young and of the people. She’d be the perfect person to lead Lumireign into its new era of prosperity.

 

Which is exactly what you told her on the day of her swearing-in after a landslide victory in the first Lumireign election. You stood in what used to be your chambers with her now, nearly in the same places you’d been when she’d left your charge four months prior to begin her cross-kingdom campaign. She was dressed in the trappings of royalty, the regal navy blues of her gown nearly perfectly matched the ones Eddie had worn on your wedding day, and the inlay of gold across the fabric suited her well. There was only one thing missing.

 

As you lifted Eddie’s crown from your vanity, long-restored to its former glory, you couldn’t help but reminisce the first morning you’d spent in this room. Reading Eddie’s silly note teasing your snoring and exploring the palace only to meet Volt. You were so close to them now you could taste it. Dolly’s eyes locked on the crown in an instant, and she took a hesitant step back from you.

 

“Your Majesty, I couldn’t possibly-”

 

“I fear that is no longer my title, your Majesty. It is yours. And my Eddie would want you to bear the crown of the king you are. Please.” 

 

Dolly dipped her head slightly, the few curls chosen to escape the intricate braids Penelope had strung her hair into falling forward in the air as you settled the crown atop her head. She stood with a roll of her shoulders and a glance up to where it now rested.

 

“It’s heavier than I imagined.” She said softly, although there was a glimmer in her eye that betrayed the fact that she was merely acknowledging your part in her new role in the kingdom. She’d told you many times how grateful she’d been for you; for your kindness, your decision to follow the people’s wishes, but it still felt like something soft had nestled its way into your chest every time she reminded you. 

 

“It is. You carry it well.” Dolly grinned at the compliment, but her expression soured as her gaze caught on the small case that now rested on your former bed.

 

“Where will you go now?”

 

You took no time at all in answering her question with your destination; ‘Pantreia’. Her gray eyes narrowed at you skeptically, and part of you had to wonder if all of Lumireign’s true rulers were meant to have those steel gazes that saw through your ruses; first, in the form of your husband, and now your dear friend standing before you. She was looking all over your face now, and the dart of her eyes was almost comical in nature as her lips pursed in concentration. 

 

As if set off by something, she drew in a short gasp and her eyes grew somehow even wider than they had when you had brandished the crown. She seemed to doubt her own mind, an emotion you’d never seen her bear, as she spoke.

 

“And what, pray tell, awaits you in Pantreia?”

 

“Why, not a thing, your Majesty.” You lied, your face split in a wide grin that must have confirmed everything that Dolly had thought to be true, if the glossiness that covered her eyes then was any indication. Her hand shot to her mouth, and she nodded behind it as she choked down whatever it was she had initially planned to say. Instead, what passed her lips was a diplomatic voice that mirrored the tone you had once used in these halls.

 

“Then I wish you well. If there is ever anything that Lumireign or I can do for you, please write.”

 

“Lead them to heights we could not, and if you truly mean what you say,” You stepped back to pick up the case, burdened with the weight of your least formal garments, the wooden paint set, and a blank journal in the first page of which was a flattened, dried Hearthwyn rose that had once blossomed and wilted on the vanity you would never again see your reflection in, “you will let this kingdom forget I was ever her queen.” 

 

Dolly nodded sharply, but her facade could only last so long, it seemed. For in the next moment, you had the wind knocked from your lungs with the sheer force she exerted on you as she rushed to embrace you tightly. 

 

The walk through the palace was shorter than you remembered, but it was lengthened at every new room or corridor you moved through, the thick feeling of memories clinging to every wall, every floor. You would miss this place, this home, you thought painfully. Although it was a structure haunted for you now, laden with the ghosts of the lives and experiences you’d lived within its bounds, it had still been home. It had been where you’d fallen in love, where you’d been hurt, where you survived. Where you stood your ground and allowed yourself to grow. It would figure in your recollections forever. 

 

And as you approached the massive stone and iron gates that barred the palace grounds from the rest of the world, you thought of the girl you’d been when you first arrived here. 

 

Was she proud of the work you’d done here? The choices you’d made? Would she have looked at your life and your dreams that you’d carved out for yourself since being here with wonder or disdain?

 

You didn’t want the same things she did anymore. But maybe that could be alright. You were ready to do what Volt and Eddie had said; ready to chase your freedom. But freedom held a new meaning for you now. And it was waiting for you in Pantreia, wiping down a sticky bartop side-by-side to prepare for the tavern’s opening with fleeting touches they no longer hid and soft laughter that bounced off of wooden walls. 

 

You’d be damned if you let it exist for another moment without you. 

Chapter 14: To Taste the Fruit on the Vine

Summary:

A long journey's end.

Notes:

Chapter title from Meet You At The Gate by Jayne Trimble

Pantreia was truly beautiful in the autumn. 

 

Everywhere you turned, the leaves were ringed with color, and their forests bore none of the harsh enclosure that the forestry in Hearthwyn had required. Here, it felt like you could run through the trees for an eternity, leaping over every knotted bunch of roots and dip in the earth. Nothing was level here. Not the grown-over, torn-through soil that palaces were built on, but the kind of rolling hills and bumpy terrain that only Mother Nature herself could spawn. 

 

You had been on the road for at least a week, if your time was right, meandering from town to town along the border of where Lumireign’s territory butted up against Pantreia’s in the hopes of stumbling upon the town you were in search of. Volt and Eddie had been so irritatingly vague about where exactly in this kingdom they planned on going when they arrived, which is how you found yourself creeping over the hills to the sixth town you’d explored since leaving your kingdom.

 

This one was much smaller than the others, it seemed. You could almost see the entire town from the elevated position you found yourself in, with only a handful of pathways and buildings stretching into the distance beyond your line of sight as the land dropped off into a shore that bumped up against the deep ocean. You were left to question the true expanse of this locale, however, as you noticed the tilled fields stretching far past the furthest roof you could see. It was charming, though. Surrounded on all sides by bountiful apple trees that reflected the color of their slowly reddening leaves onto the skins of their fruit. 

 

With every step closer to the town, the mouth-watering smell of something baking filtered through the air with greater intensity, until standing next to the worn, wooden sign reading ‘Caskwell’ left you flooded with the warm scent of vanilla and fresh bread. Your stomach rumbled in obstinance as you started off past the building with a large bakery sign in the window, and you sighed as you reached down to check the pouch that bounced against your hip with every step. Coins of varying value jingled together as you peered into it, and although you knew it would be your wisest move to hold onto as many of the coins as possible until you had secured work in a town, you couldn’t ignore the way saliva filled your mouth at the thought of a warm pastry. 

 

You turned on your heel to enter the bakery slowly, glancing around to take the space in and almost being bowled over by the warmth of the main room. A small, wooden counter was tucked into the corner of the room, joining two long, double-tiered showing cases of baked goods of all kinds. The sunlight coming in through the windows revealed the flour that floated through the air in little specks, and you had to believe that the ingredient was what was stacked high in boxes on each side and what leaned against the walls in large, burlap bags.

 

“Out in a minute!” A deep voice called from the back room where you presumed the goods were made. Pacing along the cases, your eyes landed on a small hand pie that looked golden and near glowing in its color and bake. The small sign next to the tray it laid on dubbed it to be filled with apples. You had to wonder if it was made with the ones hanging on the trees just outside, and selected one from the case that seemed at risk of bursting with the fruit before making your way over to the counter to wait for the voice’s owner.

 

A tall, sturdy-looking man appeared from the back room, dusting his hands of the flour that coated them and wiping a hand across his forehead. The flour left a white cast on his skin there, but his intimidating presence made you inclined not to say anything about it. 

 

“Just that for you then, miss?” He asked calmly, leaning against the counter as his mouth stretched in a yawn. You could imagine he had been there since early in the morning preparing goods for the day, and gave him a simple nod. A quick fumble through your coin pouch allowed you to present the copper to him, which he accepted gratefully.

 

“Your shop is beautiful. These cases are exquisite,” And they were; clearly made from one of the finer woods that Hearthwyn exported, and stained to leave them dark and moody against the cozy backdrop of the bakery. He had to be fairly successful here to have been able to afford such luxuries. You took a small bite of your pastry, and nearly moaned at the taste that burst forth. It was certainly easy to see how he could have purchased the cases if all of his goods were as delicious as this, “As are your pastries!” 

 

“Thank you, miss. Are you visiting or planning on sticking around Caskwell?,” At your clear confusion, he chuckled heartily, “Town’s small, and I haven’t seen you before.”

 

“Hoping to stick around, pending some other factors.” 

 

“Well if you need work, come back around. You caught me on a slow morning, but it tends to get hectic around here. I could use a friendly face to focus on customers so I can bake more.” His face split in a wide grin, one that you returned with ease as the man extended his hand to you and introduced himself as Stefan. The pair of you exchanged easy pleasantries before a kind-faced, elderly woman stepped into the shop and Stefan bid you adieu to tend to her exacting needs. 

 

You felt good about Caskwell. The town square revealed itself to be quite bustling; filled with shops and eateries in various stages of opening, as well as an inn where you were able to find a vacancy. As you were handed your key by the young, chipper woman behind the counter, your mind couldn’t help but wander to your mission.

 

“Excuse me,” You called to her softly as she turned away from you to organize a stack of returned keys that matched yours in design. She answered with a soft hum to signify her attention as she continued with her task, “Is there a tavern landlady by the name of ‘Beverly’ in this village?” 

 

The woman perked up considerably at the name, and spun to face you head on.

 

“Yeah! She’s a few buildings down the road. Her bar’s called The Tipsy Tumbler.” Your heart nearly stopped. You’d found it. Granted some cruel, cosmic coincidence was not currently befalling you, this quaint little town could truly be the answer to your prayers and the end to your long journey. You’d never moved so fast as you did when you tossed your case into your room and dashed back out the front door of the inn.

 

True to the innkeeper’s word, four buildings further down the road from the inn, a wooden building stood tall to one side. The sun had found its way high in the sky, just tilting over onto the western side of the horizon, so you felt confident while pushing open the worn door that the tavern would be open for business. You smiled at the way it gave under your hand, proving you correct.

 

The inside of the building was less than decorated, more so simply arranged in a way that betrayed the longevity and community that frequented the tavern. Small, barrel-bottomed tables peppered the main seating area, the chairs associated with each left slightly askew, likely because it wouldn’t matter if they had been reset as they would end up in this position anyway. It smelled thick and yeasty, with an underlying, cloying sweetness that confirmed that this was indeed a tavern that saw plenty of use, if the long bar on the far side of the room hadn’t done so already. 

 

A younger woman stood behind the wooden bar top, a cloth clutched tightly in her hand as she focused on polishing a glass, her tongue poking out of her mouth slightly in concentration. Her bright orange hair was pulled back loosely, the few strands falling out and against her face being blown back every few seconds by a puff of air shot out of the corner of her mouth. She made no move to acknowledge you as you entered aside from a quick glance in your direction, so you paced forward to stand before her at the bar. 

 

“Are you Beverly?” You asked softly, attempting to hide the hope in your voice that you were finally coming face-to-face with the last obstacle standing between you and your boys. Seemingly finally happy with the state of the glass, the woman set it down carefully on the lower counter and leaned forward to rest her elbows on the main bar as she addressed you.

 

“I am! What can I do for you?” 

 

You reached down into the pouch next to your coin pouch, fumbling through to pull out a piece of parchment that was just beginning to show signs of wear. Creases plagued the image where it had been folded and refolded multiple times, and although it made your heart ache to see your artwork so worn, it had certainly lessened the number of false-identifications you’d had in your journey thus far. You extended the portrait to Beverly, who accepted it with an immediately more guarded expression on her features than she’d worn before at the sight of it.

 

“I’m looking for someone. Well, two ‘someone’s. The two in the photo. Two men, a taller one with long, white hair and a shorter one with black hair and facial hair. Have you seen them?” Beverly didn’t spare a second glance at the image, instead holding your gaze with narrowed eyes. Suspicion dripped from her every expression and word.

 

“Why should I tell you?” That certainly wasn’t an answer you were expecting. But, it did continue to fan the flame of hope you had sparked by correctly identifying her. You had to wonder how Volt and Eddie would have talked about you, if they had. About what would identify you to someone they trusted to keep them safe. 

 

“I’ve been told I have a...sparkling personality.” You finally settled on, setting Beverly with a look that you hoped hid the worry you had that you had answered incorrectly. Her arched brow told you that she was looking for something a bit more than that.

 

“‘Sparkling’, huh?”

 

“A sparkler, as it were.”

 

Beverly’s stony look cracked with a smile, and she threw her head back in a laugh as she pressed her free hand to her forehead, passing the portrait of the two of them back to you. 

 

“No wonder they never shut up about you,” She rolled her eyes fondly, still unable to wipe the smile from her face. Your cheeks lit up at the idea that you had been a frequent topic of conversation in your time away from them, “It’s their day off. You can find them in the cottage near the shore. Follow the stone path as far as it’ll take you.”

 

You thanked Beverly profusely as you made your exit, missing the way that she shook her head at the speed you took up, but continued to smile for her friends as she went back to polishing her glassware.

 

The stone path was far longer than you imagined it would be, looping this way and that throughout the town of Caskwell as it carried you beyond a number of houses every so often dotted with another small shop. By the time you had passed an apothecary, a cobbler, and a blacksmith, you were able to see the end of the path in question. 

 

There, situated only a few feet from where the land dropped off to meet the sea, was the definitive image of a cottage. Stone walls overlaid with wooden framing and a steep-pitched roof stood before you, and just off to the side, you could see greenery peeking over the tall, wooden fence, betraying the existence of a garden behind the cottage proper. It was only when you were standing at the door, fist raised to knock, that your hope started to twist darkly into nerves.

 

It had been so long since you’d seen them last. So much time had passed while you were dismantling the monarchy. Enough, surely, that your boys had gotten used to the feeling of living these new lives together, without you. After all, your presence in their lives was a mere blip compared to the years that they had spent together as just the two of them. What if they no longer wanted you here? Where would you go then?

 

You took a deep breath, steeling yourself against the rising anxieties that played in your stomach and chest. The only way out was through. As you always did, if they chose to abandon you now, you would move forward. You would pick up the pieces of a broken life and find a new ending for yourself. After all, isn’t that the part of you they had loved the most?

 

Your fist made contact with the wood of the door, and you waited. 

 

It felt like forever had passed by the time footsteps echoed from behind the door, and it opened casually to reveal a sight you had gone far too long without.

 

“Volt,” You breathed, taking in the way he looked at you with wide eyes and lips parted in shock. His hair was tied up today, the white mess of waves’ position against his back leaving his brilliant, icy gaze in perfect view. For a moment, all you could do was look at one another. To truly reckon with the fact that you were standing in front of each other after it all was said and done. And when Volt’s lips shifted into a brighter smile than you’d ever seen, you knew that you were home at last.

 

Volt’s arms shot out to wrap around your waist, tugging you into the cottage as he shut the door loudly with his foot. And suddenly, you were held aloft in his grasp as his joy made itself known through a brief spin before you were set back down onto the floor and pulled flush against his firm chest. You hadn’t realized how much you’d missed the warmth he constantly radiated.

 

“You’re here,” He whispered into your skin, hands clutching in the fabric at the back of your dress as his nose pressed into your neck like he wouldn’t be close enough to you until you had become one person. 

 

“I’m here,” You affirmed gently, nodding as one of your hands ingrained the feeling of his arms around you to your memory while the other tucked close to your body so that you could loose his hair from its tie and card your fingers through the familiar, soft waves. The quiet laugh that Volt muffled against your neck sent shockwaves through you, and his lips pressed against your skin where he refused to leave your neck were like the dreams you’d had for the last year made flesh.

 

Sounds of shuffling came to life above you two, and before you were able to question their origin, he made himself known at the top of the rough, wooden staircase just to one side of the entrance Volt had pulled you through. 

 

“Volt? Who was at the door?” Eddie’s voice might as well have been music to your ears, his descent down the stairs its great crescendo until a final, sudden rest silenced your symphony. You could feel Volt’s eyebrows raising against your jaw, and risked a look over the shoulder he was not currently occupying to make eye contact with your husband. The face he wore then was downright dopey, his smile miniscule but still clear and his eyes glossed at the vision you were sure you and Volt were painting for him.

 

The weight of a third added to your embrace was more than welcome, and it was then- with the feeling of Volt’s arms tight around you and Eddie’s keeping the three of you together- that you let your knees sink to the floor and the true weight of your journey leave your body. Every night spent in an unfamiliar location, every step taken that burdened your muscles with each passing day, every disappointment at being led in the wrong direction; it was all gone. You were here- with the men you loved- having accomplished every mission you had set for yourself. There were no more crowns to burden your skulls, no more bombs destined to reap your lives, no more expectations that opposed your hearts’ deepest desires. There was only you, and Volt, and Eddie. Together in the home they’d made. At last.

 

And when several long minutes had passed, the three of you fell apart to be able to finally see each other fully. Your hands roamed Eddie’s arms, now much more muscled from working with his hands at the tavern, while his held your chin in place looking at him. You knew your face had harrowed a bit since you last saw them; the demands of being sole ruler and having no one left to confide in within Lumireign leaving you focused on work. Tired, but determined. But there was nothing in Eddie’s eyes that told you he was scrutinizing your altered appearance, merely admiring the way that your experiences without them made themselves known in flesh. 

 

You had missed that. The way you could see your boys and instantly know what was coursing through their brilliant minds. The way they could do the same for you. That simple, easy connection that made you feel known like nothing else. Eddie must’ve seen that then, and responded to it with the slightest upturn of a smile before closing the distance to capture your lips in a kiss you had been waiting for entirely too long to have again. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he was starved for you. Maybe he was. You certainly were no better, hands pressed on his neck and tangled in his hair as he pulled you into his lap. 

 

The feeling of eyes on you that shivered through your body was eerily familiar, and meeting Volt’s hungry gaze as he turned your head to look at him with one hand let you finally place where you knew the sensation from. Just as his nose brushed up against yours, mere breaths separating you, you huffed quickly in understanding.

 

“You were the one watching us dance,” Volt raised an eyebrow at you, clearly needing a bit more information than that, “at our wedding. I felt someone staring at us when everyone started dancing. It was you,” You pushed yourself up to finally meet his lips. Volt couldn’t contain his smile against the kiss, not daring to pull you away from where Eddie had busied himself mouthing at your neck with his hands planted on your hips. Volt moved much more slowly than Eddie had, drinking in every moment with you until he was pulling away to let air return to the both of you. The way his gaze danced over where Eddie pressed against you was like lightning had struck down in the room all around you. 

 

“Can you blame me? You paint quite the enchanting view together.” He smirked down at you fleetingly, turning slightly to look at Eddie properly as the pair seemed to remember something they’d forgotten. 

 

“There is something we should show you.” Eddie whispered into the shell of your ear, pressing a final kiss to your hair as he helped you to stand. 

 

The cottage was beautiful. As the three of you stepped through the home, you couldn’t help but admire the way Volt and Eddie had made it their own. Tomes and slips of Volt’s writings littered every surface, he truly was much more prolific than you’d thought he’d be. You hadn’t noticed that the small portrait of Eddie with his mother had gone missing from his bedroom until you passed it hanging in the cottage’s hallway. And then the boys stopped just outside of a closed door. They turned, nearly in perfect sync, to look at you as Volt opened the door and motioned for you to step inside. Eddie looked down bashfully at his feet as you passed both of them to be just within the threshold.

 

That was all the farther you needed to go to see the full scope of the space.

 

The walls were lined with bookshelves, vast collections of plays and classical literature and you’re sure some more of Volt’s handiwork among the collection. On either side, a desk and a rough-hewn workbench faced each other- one scattered with ink pots and quills, stacks of parchment and leather-bound books while the other held neatly-arranged tools of all kinds and apothecary jars of tidbits of metal; nails and screws and scraps to be melted and remade. 

 

But it wasn’t the show of both of them splayed out on each surface that struck you. No, it was the third set of furniture in the room. The small stool placed in front of a large easel carved from wood that you recognized easily as being the same wood as the set you’d left back at the inn. All of it turned to face towards a window that you were positive would have the most beautiful view of the sunset, but for now, simply held a perfect picture of the waves lapping against a rocky shoreline. And- despite the fine layer of dust the sun caught on the furniture to betray how long the items had been here, untouched-, there was a vase positioned on the sill of the window, filled to impossible capacity with Hearthwyn roses that couldn’t be more than a day old. 

 

Your heart swelled as you turned back to look at Eddie and Volt, bright grins on each of their faces. And as you dashed to wrap them both in the biggest hug you could possibly manage, you melted at the sensation of their heads tucked against yours, and the tickle of Eddie’s long-awaited words to you. 

 

“Welcome home, our queen.”

 

And ‘home’ you were.

Notes:

YALL THERE'S ONLY THE EPILOGUE LEFT ദ്ദി╥ ᴗ ╥)

I'll get sappy at the end of next chapter but, as always, thank you all so much for being on this ride with me!