Chapter 1: Intro: Bangchan's Trainee Days
Chapter Text
Bangchan had always been a natural leader, at least that's what he was told by everyone around him in his childhood.
He grew up with a healthy family dynamic, and supportive friends that nurtured his dreams. Bangchan could express a want to do anything, and everyone would believe that he could achieve it. So that was why he had tried out for JYP Global Audition, looking back on it however, it wasn’t all that good. But he had support so he believed he could do it, and he could because he passed and was sent overseas to pursue his dreams.
At first he was excited, everything was different but now Bangchan was surrounded by creative people who loved music and dance just as much as he did. Korea was different, but he was told he could make it in this new environment and debut.
But he soon found out being away from his family at such a young age was so much harder than he thought it was. He missed coming home to the food his parents cooked, the beach trips on days off, even walking the dog after a long day at school. He missed his friends that surrounded him at school or even the ones that followed him home for sleepovers on Fridays.
With being thousands miles away from home, Bangchan started a new school, which of course wasn’t like the ones in Australia. Nobody really spoke English and Bangchan didn't really speak Korean so it was hard to make friends. Even communicating with the other trainees was hard for him for the first bit.
The stark change from being uplifted by the people around him to not being able to properly communicate with anyone hit him hard. He had felt frustrated at first because this was his decision, his dream. But it wasn't what he thought it would be at all. Even the one place he thought he could flourish in, the studio, he was constantly scrutinized and his hobby became less of an escape and more of a chore.
His isolation from the people around him became a way to avoid disappointment when he couldn't properly communicate with them. He started to not put his heart into his vocal lessons or his dance practices because he started to secretly hope that they might send him back home and he can see all his friends and family again. Every night he would wish for the evaluation results to be so disappointing that he wakes up to the staff telling him to pack his bags.
It wasn’t until a call with his parents one night that he realized he was letting his dream slip between his fingers.
Bangchan sat on his bed, bundled up in layers of blankets because the heater in the dingy dorm never worked quite right. He was slowly nodding off, letting his thoughts dissipate into dream land when his phone on his nightstand started to vibrate. He let it go for a little bit, hoping that maybe it would leave him alone. But when the vibrating stopped and started up again he became annoyed and sat up.
Bangchan squinted at the bright display screen on his phone and quickly went to grab the phone when he noticed the name displayed on it.
“Hello? Mom? Is something wrong?” He asked into the darkness of his room.
“Hello Chris darling, I was just wondering how you were. You have slowly stopped sending me good morning texts and keeping me updated. Did something happen? Is the company not treating you well?”
Bangchan slowly frowned, he was tired from waking up before the sunrise to catch the train to school. He's tired from having to take notes in class while translating whatever the teacher was saying in all his classes. And he's tired from coming back from school only to vocal and dancing lessons until the sun goes down.
“I’m just tired Mom, everything’s a lot right now and I’m just having an adjusting period.”
“Oh Chris, I can only imagine how hard the transition has been. But we are so proud of everything you are doing. You know we wouldn't have sent you overseas if we didn't think you could do all this work on top of school. It will be a while until you can understand and speak Korean fluently, and your schedule is packed but I'm sure once you make it big one day you're going to think it was all worth it. Always remember son, that the harder the work you put into this the better results you're going to get. You shine in any room you're in, and you're so talented, the company just needs time to see those qualities in you and you need time to polish the skills you already have.”
Bangchan sniffled, as his mother talked he let the words cover him like a comforting blanket. He missed the way he used to be able to hug his mom and smell her comforting smell of pine.
“T-Thank you Mom, I just miss you guys so much. I miss home. I've started to worry that I’m not made for this industry. It's so much more than I thought it would be.”
“I’m sorry honey, but it's going to be hard. But it's also going to make you stronger. Anytime you think you want to quit, or not give it your all, think about the Chris that submitted that audition, all your friends and family that think of you everyday and how proud of you they are. We all love you and support you, so while it might not always be fun I want you to persevere. And if you feel like it ever gets too much for you just call me and you can come home. Because while I believe in you to keep going I also believe that you know your limits. I love you sweetie.” As she said those last words Bangchan could hear the smile in her words.
“I love you too Mom, tell Dad I said I miss him.” He said softly, trying his best not to cry.
“Of course, now try to get some sleep Chris.”
That night when Bangchan got off the phone with his mother he let his emotions flow. He cried into his pillow, underneath the mountain of blankets. He hadn’t been sleeping well the past few weeks, but with the comforting words of his mother and tired from his day and crying, he went to bed easily.
—
After his Mother’s call Bangchan tried his hardest at school and at the company. He put his best foot forward when socializing at school and talking to the trainees. Turns out that it's easier to learn a new language when you find friends to help teach you.
Once he was able to learn the basics of Korean and explained he's a foreigner who is staying at JYP he quickly became popular at school. People found his kind personality and Australian accent charming and suddenly he had many friends.
He didn’t just make friends at school however, because he had started to devote himself to his trainee work. His hard work and attention to detail started to attract the eyes of others in the program and he started to get invited to dorms or late night practices.
In particular a few boys a little older than him had started to really get attached, always asking him to stay after practice to teach him certain techniques. But Chan’s favorite thing they did was introduce him to music production. They had shown him how producing beats and instrumentals, writing lyrics, and editing together songs were helpful ways of improving as an idol. You learned how songs were made and it also helped you find the rhythm when dancing or hit a certain note in vocal training.
Soon enough a whole month of his new routine of sitting with friends at lunch then coming back to the company to stay up practicing had gone by and Chan had never felt better. He was really finding out how to balance school and trainee work along with picking up new Korean words.
As time went on, Bangchan was adopted into the trainees little friend group, and he felt so comfortable staying up late at night helping making tracks and even watching anime when a certain day of practice really took it out of them.
Things went on like that for a while, and soon enough Bangchan had learned Korean well enough to be able to communicate with everyone around him. He had made enough friends that he always had plans, making sure to hang out with everyone whenever he could.
The chilly fall weather had long passed from when he wanted to leave Korea and it was now summer break for him which meant that the company had an evaluation for all the trainees.
Because it was Chan’s first one he didn't exactly know what to expect but his friend group seemed very nervous. They had whispered their concerns in the coming weeks talking about how they could be dropped from the program but Bangchan couldn't believe such rumors. He knew how talented everyone was, they had taught him everything he knew, he had no doubt they would make it through without any trouble.
But he was very wrong.
They had started on a hot Saturday morning. His group had woken up and made sure to eat breakfast before heading to their designated location to be tested.
Once the teacher and company manager arrived they were lined up from youngest to oldest as they read their files the company keeps about them. They would occasionally ask questions like, “Did you always want to be an idol?”
“What are your plans after debuting?”
“It says your strength is singing but you have higher assessments in your dance classes, how do you feel about that?”
“You were scouted as a visual but I see you haven't been taking care of yourself recently, why might that be?”
Each question seemed to target his peers, making him nervous for what they might ask him.
“Ah, Bangchan it says your assessments had dropped about a month after arriving here but then smoothly improved overtime and we seem to see a steady improvement overall. Why did we see a dip last fall? Is it something we can expect to see again?”
Chan whipped his head up blinking a few times at the instructor before coming up with a reasonable answer.
“Oh well I was having a hard time learning a new language while adjusting to a new school environment and scheduling at the company. But after finding my footing I was able to adjust well enough to improve the best I could. I hope to keep learning new things and improve in order to debut.” He bowed his head quickly, trying to sound as sincere as he could.
“That sounds great, I’m happy to hear you were able to adjust rather quickly. We find that trainees that move to Korea at a young age find it quite hard to adjust and usually drop out by now.”
Chan stared surprisingly at the teacher, he was confused to be praised when most of his peers were scrutinized and told off about certain things. He bowed quickly in acknowledgement.
After everyone got quickly reviewed they had the performances start. They had practiced many covers of songs and proceeded to go through all of them. After each one they would get reviewed by the teacher and manager picking apart certain flaws and what people individually needed to work on.
After the third performance and review, Chan started to realize everyone was getting pounded with criticism except for him. The teacher and manager always had something negative to say about everyone except for him. What started as him being proud of himself turned into worry for all of his friends. He thought they were doing great, better than him, but the company didn't seem to think so.
They talked about how their breathing would make their singing not quite up to par. Or that they were missing certain dancing queues, or even bad pronunciation jumbling rap verses up.
They let the group out for a small break and lunch after the fourth performance. The mood at the lunch table was glum, nobody spoke, they just slowly ate their food staring at the table. Chan could tell from the stale milk sent by his friends that they collectively felt the same nervousness and disappointment.
It was hard at times to tell a person's feelings from their unpresented milk scent but after spending a year with the group Chan had learned the small shifts in their scent.
Chan had tried to lighten the mood by telling them he thought they did well but he was just ignored, given glares by his friends as they picked up their stuff and walked back upstairs.
He brushed it off as them being nervous and hurt so he just cleaned up, making sure to drink extra water before meeting back in the practice room for their last two performances and individual showcase.
As the other performances went on, Bangchan did not receive any harsh comments in their review breaks, just some helpful guidelines and hints to achieving higher skill sets.
When the solo showcase started he was excited to see what everyone had prepared, his friends performed their own songs and others in their group did covers of popular songs. He thoroughly enjoyed all the performances but started to get more nervous as his time to go started to approach.
Chan had prepared his “best” track he had created with his friends, everything from the vocals, beat, lyrics, even bits or choreo were all made up by him. He had worked hard on perfecting it when he learned about the solo performances months ago.
It would be the first time he showed his original music to anyone outside his friend group, so he was worried that the company might hate it and tell him to stop producing.
When his name was called he walked to the middle of the room, setting up his computer, making sure everything was set up correctly. He took a deep breath and went for it. He made some minor mistakes in the choreo because he was nervous, but overall his performance wasn't bad at all. But that wasn't what he was worried about, no, he was uneasy about what the company had to say.
“Well Bangchan, this was an original by you correct?” The manager asked.
“Yes sir.” Bangchan nervously bowed at him.
“I must say it's a surprise to see a first year trainee like you take to producing like this. Your sound was….”
“Unique.” The instructor commented.
“Yes very much so, I could truly feel the loneliness in your lyrics, and the passion in the way you rapped. It wasn’t perfect, but for it being your first year at the company, and you not knowing Korean a year ago I must say I’m truly proud. I’m sure the company would love to hear your tracks from now on so we can give you feedback in order to build those skills.” The manager told him with a genuine smile on his face.
The teacher looked up from her papers, “And the dance that you created for the song wasn’t revolutionary, but I can tell you learned from the tips I have taught you and incorporated them when creating your own dance. Your vocals mixed with the rap elements quite well, I hope to keep working with you and be able to see you grow.”
Bangchan started to tear up at the words, because after all the ups and downs he had in the past year, he felt like Chan was finally being acknowledged for all his hard work. He bowed low, giving his appreciation, “Thank you so much, I am very happy to be able to show off my hard work.”
After the compliments and criticism were shared, everyone was lined back up from final decisions and grades.
“As you all know, this program is hard and taxing. We work hard but we sadly cannot let everyone debut, we must choose wisely, that's why today we must say goodbye to some trainees who just couldn't quite meet our expectations. This doesn't mean we dislike you or what you have done for the company but we think you might not be the right fit here. Come forward one by one and receive your scoring from today, if you received anything below 80 it's time to say your goodbyes and pack up everything in your dorm for moveout tomorrow morning.” The manager said without any emotion in his voice.
Chan looked at his peers in shock, he didn't think they got rid of trainees at the end of evaluations. Surely he and his friends got through together though right?
Slowly everyone's names got called and they stepped forward to receive their folded piece of paper. As the line dwindled he started to hear gasps and quite sobs. Chan started to get very nervous, what if all that praise meant nothing? What if he made it though but his friends didn’t? He had spent the last year with these people, he couldn't just say goodbye to them all.
He was the last one to step forward and get his folded paper, as he took it the manager's face changed to one of a smile of reassurance. He stepped away from the table, walking slowly over to the bench where his bag and water laid. Chan sat down with a sigh and opened the paper only to be greeted with a 93 in green pen at the top of the paper. He let out a gasp of surprise, and instantly wore a huge smile on his face after quickly standing up. Chan took a step towards his friends only to realize none of them had the same reaction.
He quickly walked over to their little group, putting the paper in his back pocket.
“Guys? What did you guys get?” He asked nervously. Once he asked the question he was rushed with the smell of stale milk. He cowered away slightly in surprise.
“What do you think? We all got lower than 80s, we all have to leave. What did you expect after everything they said in the evaluation?” One of them said.
Another one turned away with a sneer, “Bet you got a passing score with that optimistic attitude of yours huh? Have fun cheating your way into passing the evaluation?”
Chan’s eyes widened in surprise, he didn't understand why he was being attacked by his best friends.
“What are you guys talking about? I just did what you guys taught me. I don't want you guys to leave, you're my best friends.” Chan reached his hand out only for it to be swatted away.
“Get away mut, you worked your way into our group, took what we taught you and somehow cheated your way into passing. If it wasn't for us you wouldn’t have passed. In fact, they probably pitied you just like we did.” The one that smacked his hand said as he got in Chan’s face.
“No. That can’t be true right? We were close friends because you guys took me under your wing? Why would I use you guys?”
“No Chan, we just saw how bad and depressed you were and thought helping you would look good on our records, turns out it was all for nothing. Now do us a favor and go away, I don’t wanna have to see your face the last few hours I get with my actual friends.” He shoved Chan away. As he did it the others only laughed, their collective scent turning dangerous in Chan’s wolfs head causing distress to shoot through him.
He quickly got his footing and turned to run and collect his things. He shoved his hoodie and water bottle into his bag and ran out the door, bolting for the dorms.
Once he was in his dorm he dropped his bag at the door, shoved his shoes off and collapsed into his bed. As his head hit the blankets he was quick to wrap himself up in a way to feel secure and hidden from the danger that his wolf was afraid of. Without thinking he started to send himself by harshly rubbing his cheek on his shoulder. He slowly was surrounded by his own milky scent instead of the dangerous one calming him down. As he did that tears started to blur his vision of the only lamp illuminating the room.
Why had he believed he had actually found a friend group? Why did he think people actually wanted to take care of him? He had been foolish, and now the only friends he had made were not only leaving but never liked him in the first place. It was all strictly business for them. None of the late night study sessions, move nights, or dance practices meant anything to them.
Chan had made it through the evaluations but he couldn't feel emptier. The harder he thought about his emptiness the more he cried. And after hours of self soothing and sobbing he passed out in a sleep full of nightmares.
—-
That next Monday, when Chan’s alarm went off he didn't feel like getting out of his bed for school, and much less practice after school. He hadn't left his bed in the past day, he had stayed in the cocoon of blankets he had created for the last 30 hours. He had no desire to leave the shelter he had created and his wolf felt threatened when he finally sat up, moving his feet over the edge of the bed.
He forced himself to get ready, and go to school. Though he didn't pay attention to what anyone had to say, teachers and students alike. When school got out and he headed back for practice he looked at his phone only to realise he had received an email.
Subject: Change of scheduled meeting place
From: jypentertainmentstaff@gmail com
To: CBahngChahn@gmail com
Hello, we would like to inform you of a change in meeting places for future practices. As of last evaluations we have decided to move you to a different group of trainees, you will now be meeting in room 213. Please meet at that location at 4 pm for regular dance practices and go to your regular room for vocal coaching. Thank you.
Chan reread the message to make sure it wasn't sent to the wrong person because why would they move him to another group? Did they see the fight from yesterday and get worried? He nervously jumped off the bus at his stop and went to his dorm to grab his bag and change into his dance clothes. It took a second but he was able to find the correct practice room, and when he did Chan found he was the last one to arrive.
When he entered everyone turned to look at him, but quickly went back to their conversations after sizing him up. Chan awkwardly stood at the door until he was able to spot somewhere to put his stuff down on the wall. He walked over, sliding down the wall until he hit the ground and went on his phone until the instructor came in about ten minutes later.
“Hello everyone, as you can see we have a new addition. Bangchan was the only one from his class who passed this weekend's evaluations so I hope you will all welcome him like one of your own.”
Everyone turned to him and stared with shared surprised faces, some even whispered to each other. Chan himself was surprised, because how was he the only one from his class of 14 to make it through evaluations? He was the youngest out of them as well? How could the people he had grown close to vanish in one day? Would that happen again? Would he lose his friends again in a year after evaluations were over?
Chan soon learned his hypotheticals were a reality when the cycle continued into the next year. He had become close with his peers, always helping each other out, giving him feedback on his tracks only for over half of his class to be dropped in one day.
Not only that but his Sunbae’s that got approved by the team and JYP started to debut and became too busy to help Chan out.
Bangchan slowly started to lose any friends he made left and right, nothing seemed to stay in his life, slowly making himself isolated. He stopped introducing himself to new trainees, already expecting them not to make it. Instead he focused on himself, he wanted to debut and find a pack that he could finally become close with and not worry about losing them.
He started dedicating himself over the years, losing himself to his work and starting habits of never sleeping or really going out at all. He would wake up, go to school and get good grades, come back to the company and work himself to exhaustion. He would get six to two hours of sleep and repeat the next day. He knew it wasn't healthy, even the company asked him about his health a few times, but he was able to brush them off.
In these times his bed and computer were the only things to make him feel calm. His computer held all of the songs that contained all the emotions he had felt over the years. And his bed was the only place of comfort. Chan has slowly added more and more blankets in order to create a makeshift nest to comfort himself. It reminded him of the one his family shared at his home. It was the only way he could sooth himself enough to fall asleep.
He knew how bad his habits were but it was the best way to keep himself from getting more hurt, he just needed to debut. That's what he told himself, but it felt like less and less of a reality as the years passed and he watched only his peers debut.
But everything changed when a boy with round cheeks and big dark eyes knocked on his door one weekend morning.
Chapter Text
Bangchan’s day didn’t start like it always would.
Usually on weekends he would sleep in until 10 in the morning where his alarm would wake him up. He would struggle for about thirty minutes to get out of his nest of blankets before finally getting his stuff and taking a morning shower.
But today Chan wasn't woken up by an alarm. Instead he shot out of his bed after a loud knock rattled through his room.
A muffled, “Hello? I know it's early but I need to unload my stuff in the room. Are you in there?” was heard through the door.
It took a few moments for him to register that someone was trying to come into his room. But once he understood the stranger's words he bolted up and ran to the door.
He cracked the door ajar, peaking only his eye though he cracked to get a better look at the person waking him from his warm, comforted sleep.
“Oh! Uh-h, hi? Sorry I know it's early and all but I was nervous and wanted to get started with moving into the dorm if that's ok with you?” The boy said with a tilt of the head. He stood awkwardly, trying to take up as little space as he could by keeping his legs together and arms clasped in front holding a big duffle bag. He noticed the boy had a very round face, and big round eyes that just nervously stared up at Chan. His bangs were shaggy and hanging somewhat in his face.
“What do you mean coming inside?” Chan asked, because what was the boy talking about? He must have the wrong room. Some new trainees get lost in the large dorm building after all.
“Uh, I'm your new roommate? Your name is Bangchan right?” He asked.
“Um yes, but I already have a roommate. There must be a mistake.” Chan said that as he backed up a little to glance at his roommate's side of the room. Except instead of being greeted with the usual domestic scene of his roommate’s belongings there was just an empty bed and nightstand.
The stranger nudged the door open to see what Bangchan was staring at. “Seems like you don’t have a roommate man. Did he not say goodbye to you when he moved out?”
Chan frowned, because not only did his roommate not say a word to Chan about the matter, but it seemed he moved out while Chan was at practice. Of course Chan never noticed, because he hardly spoke to the boy. Never once giving him the time of day, knowing he would move out one day.
The new boy pushed past Chan, shuffling into the room and dropping his bag onto the floor.
He closed his eyes and sniffed the air, then his eyes widened in surprise.
“You’re unpresented? Sweet! I was worried I would get stuck with a stinky, stuck up alpha roommate or something.” He laughed at the end, giving Chan a huge smile.
He then bowed his head and greeted Chan, “Hello, my name is Han Jisung and I hope we can be good roommates. I’ve trained at a different agency close to my house but recently got accepted into this program. I specialize in rap but I can do a little bit of everything.” He lifted his head and gave him an even bigger smile.
Chan simply frowned, turned to grab some clothes, and went to the bathroom.
Of course Chan’s new roommate had to be super energetic and enthusiastic. Though he probably hadn’t been a trainee for long, he was probably excited but he will have a different attitude after having to go through the hours of hard work and harsh words from the company.
At least Chan could just ignore him at the dorms and wouldn't have to see him anywhere else.
—
“Alright class, as you know we let some people go last week, so we have some new trainees. You guys will only have one joining this time around.” The teacher said, walking in on Monday.
And of course the person who walked in behind her had to be his roommate, Han.
“H-Hello.” He nervously bowed at the class.
Chan just rolled his eyes, he was so tired of seeing new nervous trainees. Because they always had the same nervous excited attitude that always just pissed Chan off.
Han joined the group, standing at the very end of the line, somewhat away from everyone.
Once class started it was very obvious that Han’s dance training wasn't quite top line. He was somewhat below average at the dance they were learning that day. But he had to admit that later that day when he walked by his practice room he got a splice of some of the rap he had mentioned on Saturday. And that wasn't average at all, he was able to perform unique flows and rap very fast without mixing up words or sounding muddled.
But all that meant to Chan was that the rookie might just be around longer to annoy the hell out of him.
Later that night, Chan was in his nest with a small lamp by his side illuminating his notes as he worked on a song with his headphones in. He was so enthralled in his work he completely missed the door closing, or the figure walking over to his side of the room.
A hand waved in his face, “Hey, Hey, dude. What are you doing?” he leaned over the computer to glance at the screen.
“Oh hey! You're producing? Is this a personal project? Or do you make songs for the company? Oh my gosh, I also love to make music, my production is a little lacking but I love writing lyrics.” he vomited at Chan.
“Uh, yeah I produce in my free time and show my songs to the company.” he said as he leaned away from Han.
“Wow, that's so cool, could I hear what you're working on?” he said with a bright look and a big smile on his face.
“No.” he responded simply.
Han backed up and frowned, “Oh ok.” he shifted and looked at the ground then his head shot up again, the smile returning.
“Hey! I heard you're from Australia, I studied in Malaysia for some time. You think I could call you Chris?”
Chan glared at Han, letting out the smallest warning growl. “Absolutely not, we are in Korea so call me by my Korean name. I’m also older than you, so show me some respect.”
Han’s face quickly changed to one of shock as he backed up to his side of his room. He bowed lowly and said, “So sorry Bangchan-ssi I didn't mean to sound disrespectful.”
Chan looked back at his computer, putting his headphones back on. “Just leave me alone.”
—
After their last interaction, Han has stopped trying to conversate with Chan. He has caught the boy staring at practices, and sometimes he looks like he's about to say something at night before bed. But he just gives Chan the space he had asked for.
Chan thinks he should be happy about that development but it in turn has made Han quiet all the time, not just around Chan either. He hasn't seen him talk to any other trainees and it doesn't look like it's his choice to do so.
One day when Bangchan is in the cafe area at the company, he sees Han in his peripheral vision, and eye the seat next to Chan. He gives the boy a warning glare in response to keep him from coming anywhere close to him.
Han looks surprised then abruptly turns to a table full of trainees his age and seems to say something. The table just laughs at him giving looks of cockiness and arrogance. Han startles backwards away from the table then hangs his head low, finding a table in the back corner of the cafe to hide from everyone
Han seems to have some anxiety hidden underneath the confident bubbly personality that he showed Chan the first day in the dorms. Not that it's Chan’s problem, he doesn't want anything to do with the boy.
But of course the universe has other plans, because later the following week Chan goes to the bathroom in the company building after working on the new dance they are practicing. Everyone has mostly left for the day, only a few people stay back this late to practice. Most trainees leave after practice to hangout at convenient stores and gaming lounges. Of course Chan hasn't done that in years, he chooses to use his time to perfect his craft to standout in the lineup.
He has one earbud in still as he walks down the hall, moving slightly to the song he listens to. And when he opens the bathroom door, he doesn't hear anything odd at first. Just the sound of his music as he uses the restroom. But when he finishes and turns to the sinks he hears shuffling and quieted crying.
As he runs his hands under the warm water he realizes the room smells faintly of a sad unpresented smell. Whoever is crying had been in the bathroom for a while for the smell to be all over the room. It's always hard for unpresented wolves' scents to spread unless they stay somewhere for long periods of time.
Chan just shakes his head and dries his hands with some paper towels. He doesn't really care why the person is sad, he doesn't know them and definitely isn't going to try to comfort them. He has cried many times in the years at the company and nobody has ever comforted him through it, so why should he go out of his way to help someone out?
He leaves the bathroom and walks down the silent, bright hallways, shoving his hands in his pockets. He does stop at a nearby water fountain to get a sip of water before heading back to the studio. As he does he sees the bathroom door open. When he turns he sees Han, with big bloodshot eyes and tear tracks down his round cheeks.
He sees Chan too because he frightens at the sight, jumping back in surprise before ducking and running down the hall in the opposite direction.
He simply huffs in annoyance and walks back to the studio. But as Chan cleans up the studio in preparation of going back to the dorms he can't help but get the image of Han’s sad face staring longingly at him. He also doesn't understand why the memory makes his wolf sad, longing to make the boy smile again.
He doesn't sleep at all that night, not when he can hear Han sniffling and sobbing quietly only feet away from him.
—
The company has a policy that all trainees need to clean their rooms on Sundays, staff even come back and check to make sure everything is spick and span. There are punishments for trainees that fail to keep their room clean for room checks but Chan has never let that happen.
But the last few weeks have been tough, because of course his new roommate is the messiest boy Chan has ever met. He somehow always finds a way to make a mess of their small room in a matter of a week.
This time Han has papers lying all over the floor along with dirty clothes and shoes. His bed is unmade, and old ramen cups and water bottles litter his desk.
Of course Chan’s side is already spotless, so he uses the time to sit in his nest, bundled up, working on some last minute homework assignments.
He is pretty distracted however because Han is very disorganized, it makes Chan’s wolf uneasy watching as he fumbles around putting some clothes away, then putting only half of his ramen cups in the trash before getting distracted and picking up a paper and reading it to himself.
Things don't get better when Han slowly starts making his way closer to Chan’s side of the room because some papers had made their way over there.
Han picks up the papers, one by one, sometimes stuffing them around. He doesn't pay attention where he walks and accidentally gets his legs tangled in a hoodie lying on the floor. When he takes a step forward his legs get snagged and he goes tumbling forward right into Chan’s bed.
His hands let go of the stack of papers and his hands brace himself on Chan’s bed, subsequently touching the walls of his nest.
Chan and his wolf suddenly freak out, nobody has ever touched his nest, his safe place. The nest is the only place nobody can bother him. He can deal with everything outside his nest, but inside he's protected, comforted by the warmth and soft fluffy blankets.
He lets out the loudest growl he's ever made, lips curl into a snarl as he jumps forward pushing Han as far away as he can from his safe space.
Han falls back onto the floor, struggling to catch himself on his feet as he hits his tail bone right onto the floor causing him to yelp in pain.
Chan grabs onto the edge of the blanket Han touched and moves it back further into the middle of his nest. He continues to growl, as Han backs away on all fours but stops snarling, letting only his teeth show.
Once Han is across the room he puts his hands up, staying on his knees, and tilting his head showing off his neck. “I-I’m so s-sorry I didn't mean to touch your nest I-I wasn’t watching where I was stepping I’m so so so sorry it won't happen again. I wasn't trying to come into your space. It was truly an accident but I can see why you would feel threatened.” he stutters out quickly trying to diffuse the situation.
Bangchan sends the hardest glare he can across the room, “This wouldn't happen if you could keep your things on your side of your room. Do you see my things over there? No you don't. It's because I respect your space and would hope you respect mine. You don't care, so you let your mess invade my space. Not only is it disrespectful but it stresses me out having to come home to such a disaster. You wouldn't be fumbling around and falling into my stuff if you would just have some respect for yourself and your peers if you cleaned up after yourself. You live alone. You don't have an adult around to tell you what to do. You need to start being more accountable for yourself and what you do.”
Chan got up, grabbing everything that was Han’s in an aggressive manner, even crumbling some papers, and tosses it back across the room on Han’s side before stuffing his own things into his backpack and storming out the door, slamming the dorm behind himself.
As he angrily stomps down the hall he hears Han let out a high pitched whine that develops into loud sobbing.
—-
After that Sunday, Han didn't even look Bangchan's way, almost like he was scared Chan would yell at him again.
It seemed their argument lingered on Han, because he stopped trying to insert himself into conversations that his peers had during breaks. He didn't even purposely do certain things to get a few laughs. He just kept to himself, with a frown permanently etched into his face.
His new attitude bled into his performance as well, he often seemed to not have the energy he once had performing causing the teacher to nitpick him more often. He became more clumsy as well, seemingly in his own head, not aware of his surroundings.
The other trainees had caught on, because whenever they had the chance they would pick on Han.
At first it was just laughing when he would fall or trip during dance practice. Then they started purposefully tripping him up when they changed formation.
One of the times even resulted in Han landing on his wrist wrong spranging it. Nobody got in trouble for it however, because Han just blamed himself, seemingly too embarrassed to admit to staff he was being bullied.
Everything came to a head however one day, when Chan was making his way from dance practice to vocal lessons when he heard a thump on the wall of the hallway he was approaching.
He stopped and took an earbud out, listening to the commotion in front of him.
“What do you even think you're doing? Bumping into Joon-hyung like that? You think you're better than us just because you got top scores on your rap last evaluation? I got news for you buddy, but you're sorely lacking in everything else.”
Chan heard another thump, then the squeak of shoes on the floor before a whine.
“Your dance is sloppy, you can't stay on your two feet. Your singing is wrong, always off key and your tone is boring, overheard. Don't get me started on your visual, I'll be surprised if they keep you another week.”
“I'm s-sorry I really d-didn’t mean to bump into your hyung. Please just let me go.”
Chan’s face morphed into one of shock. He had thought Han was being bullied but he didn't think it had been anything other than a comment here and there. Physical confrontation definitely crossed a lot of lines.
“No, imma teach you a lesson. Because guess what? I can't have you walking these halls thinking you're better than me. Or that we are equals either. You're below me and everyone else.
Another voice chimed in, “Bet you’ll present as an omega, look at you baring your neck to us. I bet you do that to the staff when they have one on ones with you.”
Chan’s grasp on his earbuds tightened aggressively.
“How improper of you, how indecent. What? You think that will work on us, you whore.”
He couldn't just stand by any longer, he bolted around the corner. Chan could only see red at the moment. He quickly got in between the boy holding Han against the wall.
He aggressively pushed him back, keeping Han at his back as he growled lowly.
“He did nothing to you to warrant such nasty language. Were you not listening during media training? You should never ever treat someone with such disrespect.”
The three boys all wore shocked looks on their faces, scrunching their noses at Chan’s scent turning spoiled and dangerous.
“Bangchan-ssi? Why are you here? We were just messing with Han. Just a little banter, tell him Han.” The boy in the middle defended, sending an annoyed face at Han from over Bangchan’s shoulder.
In response, Han just dropped to his knees and started to sob. His whines and tears making his scent turn from fear to sadness.
“I’m not stupid, I know you were just trying to assert dominance over him. You're all sick for doing that to your peers. I’ll have to report you all for indecent behavior.”
“Y-You wouldn't do that would you? We could get kicked out! Come on man.”
“I don’t care, you all chose to act like this so you shouldn’t get to ignore the consequences. Idols don’t act like this so you obviously don't want to be an idol. If you debut you will have to work as a team, something you all obviously don't understand.” Chan spat at them.
Their only response was to back up slowly, then turn to grab their bags and rush down the hallway.
Chan huffed and turned towards Han, before dropping to his knees to level with him. He could hear him letting out distressed noises and still sobbing, though it was quieter than it was a few minutes ago. However what was new was his breathing, that was now coming out roughly, like he was struggling to get any air into his lungs.
Chan’s hands nervously hovered over Han, he had no idea why he felt the need to comfort the boy but the instinct was strong, he just didn't know exactly what to do.
But soon Han’s troubled breathing turned worse, as he stopped breathing all together. His scent turned into a horrid panicked one, making Chan’s wolf panic in return.
Han started to sway back and forth as he made strangled noises instead of sobs. The tears continued to leave his eyes, making his face a bright shade of red.
“Hey, Hey, Han, you need to calm down and breathe. It's ok, they left and they won't hurt you anymore.”
Chan knew he needed to get Han calmed down fast, so he tried putting one hand on his chest. While his other hand grabbed Han’s and guided it to Chan’s own chest. He then let his hand rest on Han’s neck right over his scent gland, letting out a calmed scent the best he could.
“Feel my chest? How about you breathe with me hum? Follow me when I breathe in”
Chan breathed in a long, dramatic breath, counted to three out loud, then breathed out.
“You hear me? You feel my chest? Try to copy that with me this time.”
It took a few times but soon enough Han was trying his hardest to follow Chan. Even if Han’s version was a lot more broken, often interrupted by whines or sobs.
“You got it, let's keep going, huh? You're doing really really well.” Chan slowly fell into a daze, trying to calm down the smaller boy. He didn't know how much time passed before Han was somewhat breathing on his own. Once that happened Chan stopped to think.
He knew Han needed to get out of the hallway, its bright lights and unfamiliar scents probably weren't helping with his panicked heart. So Chan decided to pick Han up, whispering reassurances.
One arm went underneath Han’s legs and the other snaked around his back. Han was surprisingly easy to pick up, hardly weighing anything which somewhat worried Bangchan.
He threw Han’s backpack over his shoulder that didn't carry his own and slowly walked back towards their shared dorm. As they walked Han moved his arms to hold onto Chan like he was going to let go. He then moved his face into Chan’s neck, taking in a deep breath and melting into his arms. In response Chan let out a pleased hum and let a smile creep onto his face.
Once Chan was safely into their dark room, he laid Han slowly onto his bed. He dropped his belongings onto the surprisingly clean floor and flicked on his dim lamp.
He then crossed the room took off his outside clothes, putting on an oversized shirt and soft joggers. He crawled into his bed and pulled out his phone with the plan to check his phone and take a nap. But before he could he heard a sad whine.
He turned in his bed to see Han had sat up, looking at Bangchan with sad, tear filled eyes before he started sobbing loudly again.
Chan jumped out of his bed and crossed the room, sitting on his knees next to Han's bed.
“What’s wrong? Did I do something wrong?” he asked the boy.
Han lowered his hands from his face and looked into Chan’s eyes.
“N-No it's just-” he fiddled with his fingers and bit his lip. He took a moment before letting the words out.
“I just haven’t had anyone comfort me from a panic attack since I left home. I-I forgot how it felt to be taken care of. I-I just didn't realize how much I m-missed it.” Han struggled to say, letting a few sobs leave his mouth in between sentences.
Those words hit Chan hard. He hadn’t realized but Han was a lot like Chan when he had first become a trainee. The move away from home was hard on him, and he couldn't find comfort in anyone, and when he tried to seek it out it was taken away from him in a violent way. He had been able to comfort himself by making a safe space and putting up walls but it seemed Han was very different from himself.
Han needed someone to take care of him and look after him, that's why he struggled to make friends, why he let his room become disorganized. And why he was always trying to reach out to Chan, someone older than him, someone who liked to rap and create music like him, someone who he idolized.
And Chan had just treated him like the people who had treated Chan poorly. Suddenly Chan felt deep regret and hurt by his own arrogance.
“H-Han, I'm so sorry for the way I acted. I should have never treated you poorly when you never treated me with anything but patience."
“No-o I didn't. I made our room a mess constantly, invaded your space when you clearly wanted me to back away, and disrespected you. Of course you would want nothing to do with me.”
Chan shook his head, now seeing the past months in a different light. “Sure you made some missteps, but whenever I called you out, you changed. You never did anything twice. I should have realized and been kinder to you.”
Han’s eyes filled with hope, “You mean it?”
Chan smiled for the first time in a while, a genuine big smile, directed only at Han. “Yes I mean it.”
Han then tilted his head, rubbing his cheek on his own shoulder in order to scent himself.
The action sparked recognition for Chan, suddenly remembering why he had created his nest in the first place.
He got to his feet and lent his hand out for Han. “Here, let me do what I should have done long ago.”
Han looked surprisingly at his hand. But then he slowly grasped onto Chan’s hand letting himself get guided onto Bangchan’s side of the room.
“Make sure to tell me if you ever become uncomfortable with what I’m about to do.” Chan said as he sat down in the middle of his nest, guiding Han into it with him.
Han let out a confused noise, but let Chan slowly wrap his arms around the boy as they laid down side by side.
Chan snaked both his arms around Han’s waist and pulled him as close as he could to his own body. He then made sure to wrap a blanket round the two, tucked in the sides securely around Han’s body. Afterward he led Han’s face into the crook of his neck, and allowed both boys access to each other's scent glands.
Chan let out a content hum as he started to nuzzle at the boy's scent gland. Han tiled his head a little, allowed Chan full access to his bare neck.
He let out a content and comforting scent for Han to smell as he started to drag his nose back and forth on Han’s gland. Once he got into a rhythm of that, he added his lips, letting them drag back and forth on the soft skin. He had repeated the motion enough that his lips started to tingle in a pleasant way.
Once Han stopped making distressed noises, and the tears stopped, he let out a kitten lick onto the area. The action was accompanied by Chan’s hands rubbing comfortable circles onto the space of Han’s back.
As Chan licked at Han’s scent gland he melted right against Chan’s grasp. His breathing evened out and started to slow as he slipped into a warm sleep.
In response Chan slowly stopped, letting his head rest on the pillow underneath his head and falling asleep as well.
As he did, he promised to take care of the boy laying in his arms from now on. Never letting the boy feel the same loneliness that Chan was once plagued with.
Notes:
Make sure to tell my your in-depth thoughts in the comments, your guys messages inspire me to keep writing. Excited to have the rest of the members introduced in the next chapter!
Chapter 3: Everyone Gathers Around pt. 1
Summary:
Han and Chan become closer and a new member is introduced.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Chan woke up the next morning to the crack in the curtains letting light shine right into his eyes.
He took a deep breath in as he started to break away from the sleep. As he started to become aware of his surroundings Chan found he was not alone in his nest.
At first he was still confused but soon remembered the events of last night. Slowly he looked down at his chest to see that Han was laying there, cheek pressed against it, squishing his face.
Chan let out a huff of amusement at the sight of the younger still passed out in his arms.
While he stared down at the boy he thought about the last 24 hours, reflecting on the events. They had managed to fall asleep relatively fast after calming Han down and Chan had to admit that it was the best sleep he has had in a long time.
Ever since he had started to isolate himself he found sleep hard to come by. Sometimes he didn't want to let himself sleep, worried about losing hours he could be working. Other times he didn't want to lay down in his bed, because it gave his brain time to overthink and panic. So he would just stay up as long as possible working on music or homework until he passed out, most of the time with his computer still open.
He had thought that creating the nest had brought him the most comfort he could get being far away from his parents. But now that he was laying in it with a new addition, he didn't know how he could let go of him.
Han’s scent had settled over Chan like a warm blanket, it was the usual milk scent everyone his age had, however it had a pleasant salty hint to it. It reminded Chan of when he would go out with friends from school and buy boba. It was like the cheese foam he ordered on top to contrast with the sweet milk tea.
He smiled at the memory, happy to know the scent could now be tied to an even more fond memory.
Chan let himself soak up the moment, relishing in the warmth of the body laying on him. He couldn't remember ever being so close to another person, and it felt amazing, like a puzzle piece had snapped into place.
Suddenly he felt Han twitch, then watched as he slowly moved his head to look up at Chan. He looked incredibly cute, with messy hair and bleary eyes. Han slowly blinked at Chan until he cleared the far off look.
He let out a hum and said, “Oh, hi.” Letting his arm move from his hold on the blankets to lay on Chan’s chest.
He smiled, “Hello you, did you sleep well?”
“Hum, yeah, best sleep ever I would say.”
Chan laughed, “Oh is that true?”
“Yeah, your fuzzy nest and warmth made it hard not to fall deep asleep.” Han took a deep breath, “And your scent is all over the nest, it's quite comforting. I can’t remember the last time I was scented."
“Does my scent really smell that good? Isn’t it just bland?” he inquired.
Han’s eyes widened in surprise as he lifted his body slightly, “It's not bland at all, you smell like milkweed. It reminds me of when my mother and I would go for hikes when I was little. It was one of the plants that would be growing when we went. It makes me wonder what your scent will be like when you present.”
He looked down at the shirt, fidgeting with it, “Aren’t you 18 Bangchan-ssi? Do you -”
“Hyung.”
Han looked back up at Chan, “What?”
“You called me Bangchan-ssi but you can call me Hyung.”
He frowned, “But you told me -”
“I know, and I take it back. I want to be your hyung if that's alright with you.”
Han’s face lit up, “Yes of course it is. I don’t think I have ever had a hyung.”
Chan smiled, “Well I am happy to be your first.” he paused to think for a second then continued, “ And for your other question, yes, I am 18 but I haven't presented yet. Not really sure when exactly it will happen which makes me a little nervous. I went to the doctor when the company got worried, they said everything was normal though. They think I'll just be a late bloomer due to my stress levels. Apparently wolves will sometimes not present because of being under high stress and only present when the “threat” goes away. Something about leftover instincts I guess.”
The boy thought for a second, “Well maybe we can present together? That would be pretty cool, Hyung.”
Chan giggled, “Yeah it would.” He shifted his weight to grab his phone from behind him, glancing at the time.
“We should probably start getting ready to eat breakfast and shower before practice today, huh?” Chan said as he ruffled the younger's hair.
Han huffed in annoyance but sat back in Chan’s hold, leaning back on his legs. He turned and dropped out of the bed, passing the room to gather his clothes.
“Thank you hyung.”
“Of course.”
—
The boys were able to get ready fairly quickly, making sure they packed everything for practice before heading to breakfast. It was the first time Han had eaten with anyone at the company and years since Chan had. They both enjoyed each other's time, sharing small stories that came to mind as they stuffed their faces with eggs, fish and stew.
They had walked together to practice and Chan had made sure to stay as close as he could to Han, scaring away anyone from bothering the boy.
After practice they separated to finish out their schedules, Han had vocal lessons and solo dance critic while Chan had music review with a company producer.
Once Chan was all done he headed back to the dorm, feeling somewhat in high spirits for once. He had thoughts of the boy with a heart shaped, gummy smile and comforting scent to keep him company.
His thoughts lead him to a boba shop on the way home where he decided to buy himself and Han a drink.
But as he stood in line he realized that he had no idea what Han would want or anyway to ask. So he decided to buy two of Chan’s usual orders from back in the day, which was a Thai milk boba tea with cheese foam on top.
With drinks in hand, he headed the final distance back to the dorm and when he opened the door he was greeted with a sweaty Han. It looked like he had come straight from his dance review.
Chan lifted the drinks up into Han’s view, “I got something on the way home today.”
Han’s face lit up, a big smile showing on his face.
“You got me boba? After dancing all day? I might cry.” he said as he crossed the room to meet Chan at the door.
“I didn’t know what you liked, so I got you what I like. Hope that’s alright with you?” Chan asked as he passed the drink into Han’s hands.
“Oh of course Hyung, I don’t mind at all. Boba is boba in my opinion.” he said as he stabbed the straw into the drink and took a big sip. “Wow, what's the foam at the top? It's really yummy with the tea.”
“It’s cheese foam, I like the sweet saltiness of it.” Chan said blushing a bit at remembering why he had been craving the drink all day.
“I’ll savor it for sure. Thank you so much.” he said as he bowed in Chan’s direction.
“No need for all the thank you’s Han, it's really alright.”
The boy looked at Chan a little surprised for a second, “Ah Hyung you can call me Jisung, it will make me feel closer to you if you did.”
“Oh of course, I’ll call you Jisung from here on out.” Chan bowed quickly and made his way over to his nest, setting his bag down and getting ready for a night of producing and editing.
Han turned to his own bed, changing into comfy looking pants and hoodie, taking his phone out, and scrolling on it.
Soon enough the sun was long gone, the darkness taking over the room, the only light being Chan’s bedside lamp.
As the hour passed by Chan started to get distracted by the movement in the corner of this eye line. The boy in the other bed kept turning from side to side, seeming to never be comfortable on either side he laid on. Sometimes he would kick blankets off the bed to later pick them up and bundle up under. At one point he even switched which sides he laid his head down, before switching back after about ten minutes.
After about an hour of Jisung’s endless fidgeting Chan finally turned to ask, “Hey Jisung, are you alright?”
He turned to look at Chan, “Oh I didn't mean to disturb you Hyung you can go back to your work.”
He frowned, “But you're uncomfortable, what's wrong?”
Jisung was quiet for a moment before replying, “I just can't seem to sleep even though I’m exhausted. My wolf feels a little restless is all.”
Now that Chan fully focused on Jisung he could smell the distress on his scent, which seemed to be mixed with discomfort as well as longing.
“Did you want to sleep in my nest again?” Chan asked like it was the simplest question in the world.
Jisung looked surprised but his scent gave him away, the longing turning overwhelming, giving Chan his answer. Yet Jisung denied replying with, “Oh no Hyung, that's your nest. I would never intrude on your space when I have a perfectly good bed right here.”
He shook his head, “It’s really ok with me, I want you to sleep in my nest if it means you can sleep soundly.”
“I really can't intrude, nests are safe spaces. Everything's fine I’m sure I’ll fall asleep soon. Plus you're working, I'm sure being in your bed will be annoying and distracting." he frowned as he spoke.
Chan rolled his eyes and thought for a moment about how he could get the boy into the nest. After a second of conflicting thoughts he decided on meeting in the middle.
He got up, putting his equipment on the desk and started picking things up from the middle of the floor.
Jisung sat up in confusion, “What are you doing Hyung?”
Chan turned to him and smiled, “Well you said your bed is comfy and there wouldn't be enough room in my bed for the both of us. So I decided I can expand my nest so we can both sleep on it.”
Jisung got to his feet quickly but awkwardly stood, not knowing exactly what to do. “Hyung you really don’t need to do all this for me.”
Chan simply smiled, “I want to though, it will make me and my wolf happy ok?”
Jisung nodded and started to help Chan move things around the room to make space for the mattresses. Once everything was cleared they moved Han’s mattress then Chan’s to the floor, meeting them together to make one big bed.
Chan then started to move his nest blankets around to cover both beds. He weaved the blankets into each other, layering pillows into the blankets to make a wall around the mattresses. He then started to take Jisung’s blankets and rub them onto his scent gland before combining them to make up for the new space.
With the inclusion of Jisung’s blankets the nest smelled like a wonderful combination of milkweed and cheese foam making Chan’s wolf rumble with happiness.
He grabbed his equipment and laid on his side of the bed, bundling up in the blankets.
Jisung looked down at him and hesitated, but when Chan waved for him to come in he hesitantly stepped into the nest. He moved around, cautious to not move any of the older boy's work so Chan simply turned to bundle him in the blankets and tuck him in.
His scent finally turned back to its usual happy one, “Thank you so much Hyung.”
“Of course, if you ever need anything just ask and I will be happy to help ok? Nothing is an inconvenience."
Jisung nodded and turned to nuzzle his face into the side of Chan’s leg and quickly fell asleep.
The feeling of having another person in his nest was something Chan would happily get used to.
—
A new routine started to develop between Jisung and Chan. They would wake up together and eat breakfast, then Chan would walk Jisung to the bus for school.
Once Jisung got off of school they would meet and walk to practice. They always stood together, helping each other out with timing and synchronization. They would stay after to get in extra practice if they didn't have anything scheduled the rest of the day, making sure they each understood what they had learned.
When they were all done for the day they would lay in the shared nest and stay up producing, writing, or editing music. Chan would teach Jisung things he never knew about the hobby while Jisung would give his opinions on Chan’s tracks.
Sometimes if they were extra exhausted they would cuddle and watch anime or nature documentaries.
Jisung seemed to be doing better, he no longer got bullied. The people who had harassed him had been kicked from the program and anyone else who had picked on him before stopped because of Chan’s constant presence.
During production review Chan had started to hear mentions of a new trainee who also liked to produce music. Chan was told they would start meeting with him because they had the same gaps in their schedule. He was confused because he had never heard of a new trainee having a music production review. Usually you had to be a trainee for a few years before the company took your music seriously enough to reinforce the creation of it. The only other trainee Chan knew liked to produce at the moment was Jisung and the company wanted nothing to do with his music even when he recommended him.
Later the next day, when he was supposed to meet the new trainee he stopped at the vending machines to grab a coffee to make it through the review. Jisung had wanted to stay up the previous night finishing an anime they were watching and ended up going to bed a little late.
He yawned as he took out his wallet and grabbed a few bills out. He looked at the few coffee options, choosing to not get espresso this time around because he didn't need the extra energy for what would have usually been a dance practice.
As he clicked on the regular coffee can as he heard footsteps behind him. Chan turned to see a thin boy, likely only a few years younger than him that he had never seen around. When he realized the boy was standing near him to also get a drink he bowed and introduced himself.
“Hello, I’m Bahng Chan, a trainee from the 12th group.” Chan gave an awkward smile when he straightened up.
“Oh! H-Hello, my name is Seo Changbin. It's an honor to meet you, I’ve heard a lot about you in the few weeks I have been here.” he bowed in response.
Chan’s eyes widened at the connection he made, “Seo Changbin? Like the one I'm about to have a production review with?” he said.
Chan had expected the newbie to be kind of different in his mind. He was told the boy had a fierce aura when he rapped, his voice and pronunciation were unique and powerful. He was told the stuff he had produced was just as powerful, fueled with intense emotion. But the boy in front of him seemed insecure, like he was yet to find himself. He was small, shorter than Chan, and wore a face of awkwardness.
“Yes that sounds right, I was planning to head up after getting a strawberry milk from that machine.” he pointed.
Chan nodded in acknowledgement and turned to the machine and clicked on the strawberry milk. He took out a few more bills from his wallet to pay for the boy but before he could, Changbin had come up behind him and put a 5,000 won bill into the machine.
“Don’t worry I got it. Gotta make a good impression with the infamous Bangchan.” he smiled.
Chan looked up in surprise, “Oh, you didn't have to do that. Thank you so much.”
“No trouble really, would you like to walk to review together?” Changbin said as he bent down to retrieve the drinks where they dropped.
“Oh yes of course.” Chan said, taking the drink from the boy.
They walked up the few flights of stairs together, making awkward chatter about the company and classes. Chan learned that Changbin had once been a singer but after having vocal lessons he was recommended to rap and never looked back. He got into producing as a hobby but never stopped even when he became a trainee. He had mentioned the hobby and showed his work to a teacher and was quickly put into the product review class after the fact.
“Well this is our room, hope you're ready for some pretty rough criticism. Our teacher really picks everything apart.” Chan said with a smile.
“Can’t get better if I don't get any criticism right? I'm nervous but if you're around I think I will feel way better.”
He laughed, “Sounds like we have quite the session ahead of us.”
They opened the door and were greeted by the teacher. They both bowed in greeting him, and saying their hellos.
“Nice to see you have been acquainted with each other, seems we will have a smoother session than I thought.”
The review lasted about two hours, and was the most motivated Chan had felt in the class before. He was able to bounce off ideas from not only a professional but also someone his age who loved the craft just as much as him.
After hearing some of Changbin’s songs he was very impressed, his rap was fast and impactful. He also knew how to change up his flow to express emotions. He didn't just try to talk as fast as he could. Not only that but the beats were really good and engaging. Just from the two hours shared Chan could tell Jisung would love to meet the talented boy.
After their two hours were up, Chan decided he wanted to invite Changbin to eat dinner with Jisung and him.
They were putting away their equipment when Chan suggested, “Hey Changbin, would you like to go to dinner together? My roommate is waiting for me there and I think you would get along with him.”
“Your roommate?” Changbin questioned.
“Yes, Jisung loves to rap and produce as well. He’s a little anxious with being around new people but I’m sure he will warm up to you.”
Changbin smiled, “Yes I would love to hyung.”
They walked down to the bottom floor and into the huge cafeteria where dinner was being served. When Chan spotted Jisung at their usual stop he ushered Changbin over to the table.
Jisung was visibly surprised at the addition to their table, he instantly wore a face of awkwardness and shut down by sinking into his seat to look smaller.
“I know this is kind of out of nowhere but this is Changbin, we had a production review together today and I thought you would like to meet him because you both have a lot in common.”
Changbin bowed and introduced himself, “Hello Jisung I’m Changbin. I heard you like to rap and produce? If you are friends with Hyung then I’m sure your music is as great as his.”
“Um- uh- sure yeah nice to meet you too.” Jisung said quietly.
After an awkward silence Chan decided to stand and get food, the other two followed behind. When they sat back down Jisung’s mood didn’t really change so Chan decided to guide most of the conversations. He shared what he learned during their review with Jisung, catching him up to make him feel more included. Then he started to tell Changbin about stories with him and Jisung, things like late night production sessions or even funny moments from practices.
After about thirty minutes of back and forth Jisung finally started to pitch in. Once he learned Changbin was really into rap Jisung seemed to latch onto it as they started to share favorite artists and inspirations. They also learned some new things about Changbin. Apparently he was having a hard time adjusting to the dorm life because his family was quite wealthy. He had never lived alone or in such poor conditions but he made sure to not make his complaints not sound snotty or stuck up.
Once they finished eating and started to get tired they split their separate ways but not before Changbin gave his number to Jisung and Chan to contact him again to hangout. Chan had promised to invite him over to a late night producing session at some point when they weren't busy or tired.
Jisung and Chan walked back to the dorm, Chan having an arm over Jisung’s shoulders to keep him close.
When they arrived home they followed their usual schedule of getting ready for bed and laying down. They decided they were too tired to do anything really so they just put on a movie they had both seen before and laid close to one another.
They sat in what seemed like comfortable silence, enjoying the movie until Jisung asked, “You wont leave me right Hyung?”
Chan startled and looked down at his chest to see a sad Jisung looking off with wet eyes.
“What? Of course not Jisung, why would you think that?” he rushed as he started to stroke the back of Jisung’s head.
“I-it’s just you seemed so close to that guy and he likes all the same things I do. In fact he's better at production than me because the company actually let him study it with you.” he whispered out in sadness, voice cracking here and there.
“No, no, I mean he seems like a good friend but I introduced him to you because I want us all to be friends. I wasn't trying to make you uncomfortable by inviting him over, I was just trying to be friendly. But if you don’t like him I don't have to bring him around.”
Jisung curled into himself, scent turning sad, “It’s not that. He seems really nice and I could definitely be friends with him I just…. I don’t know.”
Chan frowned and thought for a second. He hadn't gotten close to anyone before Jisung, yet when he met Changbin he felt an instant connection. He was easy to get along with and liked all the things he liked as well.
Ever since Jisung Chan had really thought about his previous mindset on getting close to other trainees and he had started to realize some of the flaws in his original stance on the situation. He realized he needed to have friends in order to support him but also give him responsibility that he would need to learn if he ever debuted.
He had slowly realized that it wouldn't be so bad to start to make friends at the company. He wasn't going to start going out of his way to make them sure, but he wanted to start to create a support system.
“Do you think I’m trying to replace you? Jisung that won't happen, I’m here to help you as much as you are here to help me. We promised to take care of each other. I would never ditch you to hang out with someone. But that doesn't mean we can't branch out and make friends.” Chan said as he leaned down to nuzzle his way into Jisung’s neck. He started to release a content and comforting scent as he ran his nose up and down his scent gland.
“I know I just get anxious, hyung. What if you get to know him and get along better with him? What if he's not the only person you become friends with? I don’t know how I would react if you let someone else into our nest.”
Chan hugged the boy, “Oh Jisung I would never invite someone else into this nest. This is our safe place and only ours. And I would never leave you alone just because I become friends with someone.” he squeezed him closer, “Think about it this way, it doesn't matter how many people I talk to in a day, none of them will have these moments we share together these times are special to me and I cherish them.”
“You promise?”
“I promise that to you Jisung.”
“Thank you Hyung, you always know what to say.”
Chan hummed in acknowledgement and started to lick at Jisung’s scent gland in order to coax him into sleep. His limbs started to relax, melting into Chan’s body. He let out a quiet purr of content and fell asleep with Chan following soon behind.
Notes:
Just as a note, in this universe unpresented wolves have a milk like scent HOWEVER when they hit puberty they start to develop notes to that milk scent. These scent notes will be in the individuals final presented scent but the scent everyone has before they present will not be the same after they present!
Also I felt this chapter was a little lackluster but its all the precursor to the survival show arc. With that said, two more chapters until the survival show finally starts!
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