Chapter Text
Eunseok’s life isn’t that exciting.
It’s just a never-ending cycle of sleep-work-play-repeat. Some might call it boring. He thinks the consistency is therapeutic.
His friends have tried to push for intervention which, unfortunately for them, has ended up in vain. Sohee's been blowing up his phone for weeks. Eunseok only returned a handful of texts and even then those were just the younger’s pleas to game together. He wouldn’t turn down a good match. He would, in fact, be better off without hearing his best friend throw occasional pet names at his boyfriend. Dear God, does he not miss living with Anton.
He knows they want the best for him. He knows Shotaro secretly puts tupperwares full of homemade meals in his fridge because Sungchan still has the key for emergency purposes. He doesn’t acknowledge their help directly but he does leave his thanks in the form of clean dishes. He knows that when Seunghan tells him to touch some grass, it’s actually him worrying about Eunseok getting enough fresh air. Seunghan would never be rude to him. He’s truly lucked out in the friendship department.
What he knows but they don’t is that he has something to keep him up and running right here, on the screen of his computer. Something small and precious. A secret just for him and the four walls of his bedroom.
nyangi is live.
Right on time.
Eunseok puts his phone on Do Not Disturb and watches a single notification pop up over the window he has open. It’s asking if he wants to join. What a silly question.
He doesn’t remember how it began. Maybe he was drunk. Maybe he was one hundred percent aware of whatever was happening. Gave himself a full report of his actions when he clicked the link and opened the floodgates. Literally.
Contrary to popular belief, he’s not a virgin. Contrary to Sungchan’s claims, he’s had more sex than he's let the younger hear about. His dick and ass are no one’s business but his own. Well, maybe also his partner’s of the day. If they care about getting him off in return. Rare occurrence.
Still, sometimes he wants something different. He doesn’t want to meet anyone new. Horny brain is a wonderful thing that doesn’t require much reason to do this and that but it’s all so draining. He’d rather stay home and lounge on his bed for as long as he can. He should have installed that blocking extension Anton recommended but an enormous banner promises to show him a hot twink and he folds. He’s gay and curious. That’s the hill he will die on.
It’s all trial and error from there. He didn’t realize he had a type until he started looking. Some men are too buff and, while it does get people going, it makes him downright insecure. Some are paired with their lovers and he’s not one to get jealous but he will close those tabs immediately. No offense to you or your boyfriend. Have a happy life, by the way.
A week passes and he’s ready to give up. Shotaro’s offer to go out and dance doesn’t sound so bad anymore. He won’t dance, though. He will find someone and have a night so freaky, he won’t yearn for another man’s touch for years to come.
Wait, that thumbnail looks promising. Let’s click that?
The page loads and there’s an actual angel sitting right on the edge of a bed. Shirtless. Dark nipples. Abs so defined, Eunseok wants to run his tongue all over them. The frame cuts off right where the column of his neck starts and he respects the privacy. This is overwhelming as it is. He’s going to bust a nut any second now and he hasn’t even looked down yet.
He takes a deep breath.
Well, that’s the prettiest dick he’s ever seen.
Eunseok is a gentleman and deems comparing lengths to be a step too early into a nonexistent relationship. But also, the stranger is definitely smaller. Less girthy. Very delicate looking. Fuck his stupid vers life.
His hands are big and his fingers are bony. His thighs are lean and muscular in all the right ways. He’s got some nice-looking balls, too. Everything about him is perfect. Eunseok wants to swallow him whole.
That’s how he becomes a frequent viewer. He doesn’t comment but he tips. Not too much because he’s a working adult who won’t get crazy over a man who jacks off in front of a camera. Just enough to show his gratitude. To thank the other for making his life just a little more bearable.
Nyangi is an interesting character. He can never sit still and he can never keep quiet. He constantly hums whatever song is popular at that moment, he clicks his tongue, and he talks to the viewers as if they’re his closest friends. It’s endearing. He really is a cat and Eunseok’s always loved them.
Today, it’s the same as always. He asks the audience about their days and there are only a handful of people giving genuine answers. The others are way too crude. Straight up neanderthals. Eunseok will never stoop to their level. He’s stroking himself but that’s only because his room is too cold and he needs something to warm up.
“You guys are no fun,” Nyangi whines and that’s another item on the list of Eunseok’s favorite things. He’s very vocal. Whimpers, moans and cries. It isn’t performative and it does wonders to his head. Both heads, to be honest.
Eunseok looks at the comment section and tries not to roll his eyes. Tens, hundreds, thousands of people begging to see the hole. That’s just pathetic. He will sit here and wait. Nyangi will grant his every wish if he’s good and patient.
“Don’t you want to talk for a bit?”
He does.
“Do you only care about my body?”
He doesn’t. He cares about all of him.
“I guess I have no other choice.”
Eunseok frowns. If it was up to him, Nyangi would just spend the entire time doing only what he wanted. He’s different from all of those sex-crazed freaks because he takes the other into consideration.
Nyangi wants to tell a story?
Eunseok will listen intently.
He wants to sit back and look pretty?
Eunseok will be his one man audience.
He wants to play with himself?
Eunseok will try his hardest not to cum on the spot.
“I got a new toy the other day,” Nyangi muses, “but I’m not in the mood for it.”
Several people voice their complaints. Eunseok reports every single account his eyes land on.
“Don’t worry, I’ll still do what you came here for.”
What a generous soul he has. Beautiful boy, inside and out. Eunseok is tipping a hundred thousand won before his brain catches up with his fingers. Remember how he’s capable of making wise financial decisions?
Forget it.
“How do you want me?”
Eunseok’s brain boils and there’s steam coming out of his ears Looney Tunes style. That’s the question Nyangi always asks and he’s so attentive to what his viewers have to say. They want him spread out on the bed. They want him on his knees, back turned to the camera. They want him standing up, they want him lying down. Eunseok is not like the others. He wants what Nyangi wants.
blackshadow: want u to do it the way you’d enjoy it
He blinks and the comment is there, white letters in a black box. His hand was gripping his dick just now, how did that happen?
“Oh?” Nyangi perks up and moves closer to the lens. His collarbones are on full display and Eunseok wants to suck marks onto them. Damn his primal instincts.
“The way I’d enjoy it?”
That’s what he said. Nyangi said what he said. Nyangi noticed him. He might have gone soft while playing Camboy Defender but he’s suddenly rock hard again. Leaking. He’s way too easy. No one can ever find out about this.
“Want you to guide me,” Nyangi murmurs. “Help me?”
He’s definitely not talking to him. An ethereal being like him can't be talking to a measly human like Eunseok. It won’t hurt to try and shoot his shot though, right?
blackshadow: want to see u
blackshadow: lay down and spread your legs
blackshadow: do u have enough pillows
blackshadow: are you comfortable
“Feels nice,” Nyangi sighs as his back meets the sheets. Eunseok’s messages are sporadic, he doesn’t know what it all looks like in between other people spewing their own bullshit. Nevertheless, he keeps going, his own relief forgotten in favor of the person in front of him.
blackshadow: lube
Nyangi takes out a bottle from under a blanket.
blackshadow: fingers
Nyangi coats one digit and circles around his rim.
blackshadow: push
Nyangi does. The sound it brings out is the sweetest thing Eunseok’s ever heard. Too good to be true. All because of him and no one else. That’s quite delusional, isn’t it?
One finger is clearly not enough. It disappears and comes back into view way too easily because he’s wet, so wet that it glistens brightly even in the dimness of the bedroom. If Eunseok was a sailor, that’d be his lighthouse. Guiding him home. To the place where he belongs.
“Can I…” Nyangi hiccups. “Can I have one more?”
Eunseok has to count to three unless he does something terribly drastic. There’s a pulsating vein on his forehead and he’s pretty much never been this hot before. Sizzling. You could fry an egg on his forehead.
He weighs the other’s words. He’d give him anything he asked for. Let him have all the fingers he wanted. A happy hole equals a happy man.
And what a hole that is.
Anyway, back to business.
blackshadow: of course you can
He doesn’t send it right after the question but it’s not like Nyangi does anything until the comment is there, slowly getting lost in the sea of those of the same kind. The words are on the screen and the second finger gets pushed inside, stretching slowly. Eunseok’s vision swims. He squeezes his base just because. Just to do something. Just so he doesn’t slam his head into the desk.
“Thank you,” Nyangi says and his lips are in the frame, if only for a second.
Thank God, Eunseok is wearing contacts because that is truly a sight for sore eyes. He’s got photographic memory all of a sudden. He will remember those lips for as long as his consciousness lets him. He doesn’t deserve more than Nyangi’s already given him but if he could see them at least once more, he’d be the happiest man alive.
blackshadow: you’re so fuckin. pretty
He’s back to typing with one hand because his second one is quite busy. You know how it goes.
“You think so?”
blackshadow: the prettiestboy i’ve ever seen.
Nyangi doesn’t touch himself no matter how much he visibly wants to. Instead, he pinches his nipples and rubs at his sides. Eunseok wants to help. Wants to take care and make it all better. Make him feel so good, it will rock his entire world. Remember how he would never form a parasocial relationship with a camboy?
Forget that, too.
“I need…”
blackshadow: third
It’s loud, sloppy and messy. It’s sexy and it’s something Eunseok will never forget. Nyangi’s back arches off the bed once, twice, three times and that’s a sign he’s almost there. Eunseok’s trembling himself, an actual time bomb, but he needs to wait. They need to finish together. That’s the only way to go.
“I’m close…”
The noises when Nyangi’s fingers slide in and out are so lewd, Eunseok’s glad he makes enough to afford an apartment with soundproof walls. He can’t let anyone hear what is music to his ears. What a weird time to feel proud of where his brain's gotten him.
blackshadow: perfectperfect perfect for me
Nyangi comes with a gasp. Eunseok follows suit and sees white. He’s covered in cum. He looks at the screen and almost passes out.
The camera has moved and is now showing way more than it was supposed to. There’s a lamp that is similar to the one he has in his room. There’s a bedside table and it’s a nice model that is both stylish and functional. Nyangi clearly knows his way around home decor.
Also, there’s silky black hair that is framing a face so gorgeous, Eunseok slaps a thankfully clean hand over his face. This is wrong. He was never meant to see.
He can’t forget he’s not the only one watching. He’s respectful but the others are not. He’s a saint and the rest of the audience are big bad wolves, ready to pounce Nyangi at any given chance. Like right now, for example. Eunseok will open his eyes to witness everyone showing their true colors. Perverted, dirty, corrupt colors.
Oh, the stream has ended. The chat is gone along with it.
Yeah, that makes sense.
He’s still unclothed, balls out in the open, but he couldn’t care less about that. People can’t have taken screenshots fast enough, right? Can you even do that with the nature of the site they’re on?
nyangi started a private chat with you. Click here to open.
What the fuck is going on here on this day?
This is a mind game, he’s sure. He came so hard, he got sent to another dimension. Nyangi starting a private chat can’t hurt him because it’s not real. Eunseok mindlessly clicks the link and gets redirected to a part of his account he didn’t know existed.
nyangi: hi:3 thank you so much for your donation! i’ve noticed you a couple of times but you never commented before. you should do it more often. today was fun.
Fun. They’re not talking about money anymore, are they?
Wait, this isn’t what matters right now.
blackshadow: are you okay
nyangi: ?
blackshadow: your face..
nyangi: oh:D
nyangi: it’s not like it’s the first time that's happened
nyangi: some people who request private streams have seen it, too
nyangi: it’s not a big deal
nyangi: don’t worry about it
It’s quite a big deal to Eunseok, if he’s being honest. He was worried. Quite shocked, really. There’s nothing more important than safety, especially with this occupation. He feels like an idiot now. Also, private streams?
nyangi: but thank you for asking
nyangi: that’s sweet of u
He feels his dick twitch. He can be more than sweet. He can be anything the other asks of him. But he should clean himself first because he feels kind of nasty.
blackshadow: do you always message your viewers like this
nyangi: only when they make me come so good i forget who i am
Jesus Christ. How is he worthy?
blackshadow: has that happened a lot before
nyangi: my first time
He sucks in a breath.
blackshadow: fuck
nyangi: [Image Attached]
nyangi: hope to see you on my next stream! <3
nyangi has logged off.
Eunseok jumps off his chair and runs towards the bathroom. This is all a fever dream. He’s finally reached his peak, hasn’t seen the sunlight in so long that the darkness consumed him. He doesn’t exist anymore. He should have listened to his friends and gone outside. He could be drinking with them right now. Instead, he’s alone and hallucinating. It’s never been more over.
He washes up and pointedly ignores how hard he is again. He’s not a teenager with endless stamina anymore, there are serious things he has to deal with. When he remembers how shiny Nyangi’s lips looked both times he saw them, it hits him like a ton of bricks. He swears this is the last time he gets off in a long while.
The site is still open when he walks back into the bedroom. The chat with Nyangi is right there, which means that it’s as real as it can get. He won’t overreact because that’s not what a nonchalant man like him would do. What could the attached image even be?
He approaches the desk carefully. He’s an animal and the device is his prey. Actually, it might as well be the other way round. He clicks the button and steps back.
First of all, it’s a nude. Second of all, Nyangi’s face is staring daggers at him and it’s enough to make him yelp. Once again, he’s grateful he doesn’t have roommates.
As if sculpted by Gods, it’s the most stunning face he’s ever had the honor of seeing. Nyangi’s got the biggest eyes and a nose that Eunseok badly wants to bite. His cheeks are rosy and his lips—those same lips that will haunt him until the day he dies—are so plump that it’s quite literally insane. Kissing them would feel unreal. What the hell is he thinking about?
His hair is a halo around his head. There are tiny cat clips holding his bangs back and he’s got just a little bit of makeup on. Eyeshadow, maybe. There’s some blush too, it seems. It makes him look like a living doll.
Nyangi is naked all the way down, lying on top of his sheets with cum still drying on his stomach. Eunseok takes pride in how smart he is but way too many minutes pass before he realizes the picture was taken right after the stream. Maybe it was taken in the middle of their chat. While he was losing his mind, Nyangi was having the time of his life. He’s cute. So cute that Eunseok hurts.
Was this really meant for him?
He thinks about private streams again and all desire brought back by the image turns into doubt. He pays for the highest subscription tier. He watches and tips. He’s never had the urge to get more or become closer. Is this a hint to take action?
Eunseok’s paid well, better than most people his age because he’s good at his job, but he’s not ready to spend it all on a fantasy that will only destroy him. He’s fine like this. Had his Y/N moment but now he has to move on. The picture though, he will save and come back to when things turn sour. No one forced Nyangi to send it, so he doesn’t feel guilty about keeping it.
The bubble pops.
Eunseok is hard again.
When will this end?
₍ˆ‧˔‧ˆ₎
“You did what?”
“It’s just a picture,” Wonbin says. “You’re acting like I committed murder.”
So what if he never sent one to any of his viewers before?
It’s been a long night but he’s never slept better. Yesterday’s stream feels both like a distant memory and immediate reality. He’s still three fingers deep and Black Shadow is calling him those treasured names. He wants more of that. Needs it, more like.
“What if the guy is old? What if he’s married? Wonbinnie, his wrinkly hands are probably all over you right now. What if his dick is wrinkly, too? Getting off to a picture of my best friend, I can’t believe this.”
Sion is doing way too much right now. Wonbin chuckles.
“What’s done is done,” he drawls. He’s still in bed and it’s still too early. Why are they having this phone call? Does he have anything planned for today?
“I’ve been telling you, you should be more careful. Just because he gives you money doesn’t mean he’s a good person.”
“He made me come, though.” Wonbin picks at the thread of his blanket. “He said he wanted me to do whatever I wanted and then I had this mindblowing orgasm. He didn’t even do much and I saw heaven.”
“With all due respect,” Sion sighs. “You’re a slut.”
Wonbin pouts.
“I will continue to live my truth.”
“Of course, you will.”
Breaking the silence feels awkward.
“Am I weird for this?”
“It’s not the way things usually go for most people,” Sion hums. “But if it feels right, there’s nothing weird about it.”
Right, they actually had something they needed to discuss.
Wonbin loves being on the receiving end of anything his audience is willing to give but he can’t forget this isn’t just about him. If it weren’t for them, he wouldn’t be able to make it this far. He’s not ashamed of what he does in the slightest. He’s good and he knows it. If someone doesn’t like it, that’s not his problem at all.
It's all turned into what is now an ongoing tradition. Every holiday, Wonbin picks a lucky subscriber for a private stream. Lets fate decide and then presents them with the one thing they long for.
They choose how they want him. He messages in advance and asks them if they have any preferences. He buys costumes, props, toys and devices. He wants to be good for whoever is on the other side of the screen that day. If he’s good, he will get praised. If he gets praised, that’s his job well done.
This time, it’s Wonbin’s birthday. He’s not disclosing the actual date, but the entire month of March is labeled Celebration Time.
“Sorry to get into your pants.” Gross, that’s his best friend. “But I’ll have to take control of your account for this one.”
Wonbin nods even though Sion can’t see. His follower count has risen quite sharply recently and it’d be too difficult for him to handle the process of choosing the winner. He could but he won’t. Because he promised to take it easy.
“Do you want to be there when I spin the wheel?”
Does he?
“Yeah.”
Guess he does. Who knows what he was driven by.
Two days later, they’re sitting in the kitchen of Wonbin’s apartment. Sion’s got a list of his subscribers pulled up on his laptop, sorted by tier, and it’s fascinating. His best friend could have done better things with his time.
“I wrote a code.”
“That you did.”
“It’s gonna give us not one, but two names.”
“Incredible.”
“And then, we’ll let it choose once more.”
Anything to make him happy.
Keys are pressed and several buttons are clicked. The whole process takes less than a minute and in the end, there are two usernames in a pop-up window.
taromilktea & blackshadow.
“Wait.” Wonbin puts a hand on Sion’s shoulder.
Is this wrong? Whatever he’s about to do and say, is this too greedy?
“You want the second one, right?”
“How did you…”
“I didn’t go through your chats, I promise.”
Right, his account.
“Am I…”
“It’s okay,” Sion squeezes his fingers in reassurance.
Of course he understands.
They compose a congratulatory text and check the calendar so the stream doesn’t conflict with his main schedule. It’s the driest thing ever. It looks ridiculous next to the nude he sent the other day.
nyangi: Hello! You’ve been selected as the winner of a Celebration Month Giveaway Stream. It is completely free and will last for an hour and a half on a separate platform. You will be contacted two days prior to negotiate all necessary details. Please, confirm that you will be available on March 19th, at 10PM. Hope to hear from you soon!
He feels shy. Totally understandable.
The answer doesn’t come right away. It doesn’t come the next day or two, either. Wonbin goes through his actual birthday feeling more bothered than cheerful and that’s where he draws the line. It’s not like he will cease to exist if Black Shadow doesn’t message him back.
Because he will reply.
Right?
blackshadow: hi
blackshadow: sorry i’m this late
blackshadow: i’ll be free
blackshadow: 03/19, 10pm
blackshadow: thank you
See?
Manifested that one.
Wonbin shouldn’t be holding his phone right now. He’s back home from the party and he’s drunk on both the alcohol he’s consumed over the course of the evening and the smell of the flowers his bedroom is too crammed for. He’s in bed, face already clean and water already drunk just so he doesn’t wake up with a terrible hangover. He had a good day overall. Now it’s gotten even better.
nyangi: i’m soooooooooooohappy!!
nyangi: are ulooking foreard toit?
nyangi: you don’tsound excited:((
This is a mess. This is so bad. He’s glued to the screen and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. Don’t call the emergency services.
blackshadow: are you okay
blackshadow: have you been drinking
blackshadow: do you have someone to take care of you
Considerate, as always. Wonbin feels his eyes sting.
nyangi: i’mok i’m soooooo ok i’m great
nyangi: i asked you aquestion pls reply pleas pllease
nyangi: are u excited..
blackshadow: of course i’m excited
Good. That’s good. He can finally breathe. Or, can he?
nyangi: how excired areu..
The thought about the other man being a married fossil is nothing when it comes to how horny he is. Good thing he sleeps naked. Less effort to get rid of the clothes and all that.
blackshadow: do you want me to show you
He honest to God short-circuits. He salivates and he doesn’t know where he is. Buzzes with lust but doesn’t touch himself yet. It’s been way too long since he was last fucked silly. He’d be embarrassed if he had any shame left. He looks at his phone and hopes for the best.
nyangi: please?
One minute. Two.
blackshadow: [Image Attached]
Let’s fucking go.
That’s a capital D dick. A cock. A penis. It is something that can fix him. First ruin, then put him back together. Wonbin wants to choke on it.
It’s definitely not a body part of someone who’s lived a hundred years. It’s long and it’s big but not too big like in the porn movies Sion showed him back when he was just starting the whole camboy thing. It’s the perfect size. Perfect for Wonbin just like Wonbin will be perfect for it. He just knows.
He doesn’t notice at first but there’s a hand. There’s a toned stomach and there’s a neck. There are lips and there are eyes and there’s a nose and Wonbin mewls, legs spreading fast on their own accord. He can’t be bothered getting the lube. Sucks on two fingers and pushes in all at once. It hurts. He’s never been more satisfied.
nyangi: is taht
blackshadow: yeah
nyangi: i don ’tbelieveyou
He does. Some people have that ‘I’d never trick you’ vibe to them and Black Shadow is one of them. He’s so good and Wonbin needs to take more. As much as he can.
blackshadow: [Image Attached]
It’s a selfie this time. No cocks, no balls. Only a face that is so handsome, his fingers slip even further and oh, that’s his prostate. He wants to kiss and he wants to bite and he wants to suck. Look at those cheeks. So cute.
nyangi: you;re unreal
blackshadow: says you
Wonbin looks again and sees something he hasn’t noticed before. There, in the background, is a big computer screen. It’s comically large, almost to the point that it raises a question of what the other uses it for. He needs to focus. The screen is playing a video. His video. Is Black Shadow watching Wonbin while touching himself?
nyangi: is thatme
blackshadow: only you
blackshadow: always you
Well, fuck.
He adds the third finger, stretches and scissors and prods at his walls, but it’s not enough. He craves more. He opens the first picture and whines. Burrows his face into the pillow and bites. There’s spit everywhere. He’ll deal with that later.
nyangi: sosososooogood for me
nyangi: need u so bad
nyangi: don’twant anyone else
nyangi: need u tofill meu p
nyangi: wouldu do that
nyangi: please
Should he be saying this?
Sion will kill him.
While still alive, he’s trying to poke the fourth finger in but there’s only so much his body can take. He’d do better if it was anyone else. He’d last so much longer. Others wouldn’t affect him like the man in his phone does. This one is different. Only him.
blackshadow: would do anything you want
blackshadow: my beautiful boy
Wonbin cries out as he comes.
It sobers him up but he doesn’t pause. He changes apps, stretches an arm and points the camera at his face, his neck, his chest and stomach. It captures how sweaty he is. There’s cum everywhere, white spurts on flushed skin. He tugs on a nipple and clicks the shutter button. That one, he sends immediately.
nyangi: [Image Attached]
blackshadow: [Image Attached]
Sent at the same time. How romantic.
Black Shadow came too, but he hasn’t gone soft yet. Wonbin’s eyes follow the way his release has trickled down his chest to pool on his lower stomach. He yearns for a taste. He would lick him clean. He wouldn’t leave a single drop, wherever it was. That’d be his treat. His birthday present.
There’s an itch. If he scratches, he will bleed. Is it all worth it?
blackshadow: gorgeous
blackshadow: everything about you
blackshadow: never seen anyone like you before
nyangi: wish u were here
They’re entering dangerous territory. He needs to put an end to this, throw his phone into the bedside table and wake up a whole different person. Is that really what he wants, though?
blackshadow: yeah?
nyangi: need u. want you to holdme..
blackshadow: baby
It’s the last thing he sees before drifting off for the night. In the morning, he scrolls through the chat and wants to kill himself then and there.
blackshadow: goodnight
blackshadow has logged off.
Wonbin hopes he drowns in the shower.
He ruined it all, didn’t he?
He crossed the line, said all the things he shouldn’t have and now it’s all gone. Imagine dealing with someone this needy. He understands if Black Shadow would never want to speak to him again.
Wonbin is not avoiding the situation. He can’t forget they still have plans. It’s more like he’s got a lot on his plate at this current moment.
He doesn’t get to celebrate his birthday with family because they live in different cities. Instead, he receives a package full of his mom's side dishes and it makes him cry because he misses her a lot. He wouldn’t tell her about his boy problems but he’d ask for a hug and nothing else would matter.
He holds his weekly stream and doesn’t see Black Shadow in the comment section. He’s not on the list of donors, either. It’s fine because the man doesn’t owe him anything. Wonbin finishes as fast as he can and falls asleep clutching the only plush toy he has. It doesn’t bring him any comfort.
A week passes, then two. It’s two days before the set date and he’s nervous. His hands are clammy as he opens the chat but he braves through it. He’s got a duty to perform. He can be a wreck of a human being but in his field of work he’s a professional.
nyangi: hey
nyangi: i want to apologize about what happened that day
nyangi: i know i can be a lot sometimes
blackshadow: what
nyangi: i took advantage of you
blackshadow: slow down
nyangi: i’d totally understand if you never wanted
blackshadow: can you
nyangi: to have any business with me again
nyangi: but we have a stream coming up
blackshadow: can i
nyangi: and i wanted to see if you were still up for it
He finally looks at the chat box and wheezes.
nyangi: i’m so sorry please say what you wanted to say
He can’t keep making a fool of himself like this. What a joke.
blackshadow: you haven’t done anything wrong
blackshadow: i was giving you space because i thought i took it too far
blackshadow: didn’t think i had the right to be in your space
nyangi: you said goodnight and left:(
blackshadow: the app said you logged off already
blackshadow: also i wanted you to sleep well?
blackshadow: sue me
Wonbin feels his heart grow ten sizes too big. His ribcage is too small to contain it. Communication is key, or so they say.
nyangi: silly
He’s the one to blame but he’d never admit that where the other can see.
nyangi: so we’re all good?
nyangi: i’m good if you are
blackshadow: of course
That got solved faster than he could ever imagine. Wonbin picks at his nails.
nyangi: do you have any requests
nyangi: for the stream i mean..
blackshadow: not really?
Oh.
blackshadow: just want you to enjoy yourself
blackshadow: if you’re happy, i’m happy
Oh!
Wonbin doesn’t need much to be happy. In fact, he needs only one thing and it’s exactly what he’s asking for the second his screen loads two days later.
“Can you…” he bites his lip. “Can you turn your camera on?”
No hello’s, no how are you’s, he’s a man on a mission.
“Um.” That’s a nice voice. Wonbin pinches his forearm. “Yeah, sure.”
They’re off the usual site, which means everything moves so much faster. He doesn’t have a chance to fully prepare himself before the window turns black, and then they’re face to face. Or the equivalent of it, where there are screens separating them. He hates technology. He takes it back as soon as it’s out. They wouldn’t have met if it wasn’t for it.
“Hi,” Wonbin whispers.
He looks even better in motion. Black Shadow’s eyes are so big and expressive, it sends shivers down his spine.
“Hi,” the man says and he’s smiling. It’s a tender little thing. Wonbin feels giddy.
“Hi,” he repeats again and ducks his head to hide his excitement. “I can’t believe this is happening.”
“Shouldn’t it be me who says that?”
Ridiculous and wrong. Wonbin wants to bite him. Nip at his nose. That will teach him a lesson. He doesn’t realize he's said it out loud until the man laughs. That, too, is the best thing that could happen today.
“So scary.”
He sounds fond. Wonbin’s breath hitches.
He needs to shift his attention to whatever else that can save him from having a heart attack. The man’s username is ses2001 which should be lame but it makes Wonbin’s insides twist and turn. He’s a hyung, then. That’s too much, he needs to look up. His wallpaper is quite a nice color. There are some decorations, too. Balloons? What do they say?
“What are those?” Wonbin asks as he squints at the letters.
The man turns around as if he’s not sitting in his own bedroom. His face gets red at the speed of light. What does that mean?
“They’re…” he stammers. “It’s my birthday today.”
Absolutely no way.
This changes so much. This changes everything. Wonbin can’t believe he didn’t know. He has all this information back in his subscriber tab and he did nothing. This is so sick and twisted. He needs to…
“Hey,” the older calls. “Don’t worry about it.”
“But it’s your birthday,” Wonbin whines and he sounds like a child. Screw that and screw the image he supposedly has to uphold.
“This is already enough. It’s more than what I could wish for.”
Enough. They haven’t done anything other than talking but it’s already enough.
“Can I ask for your name?”
“It’s Eunseok.”
He didn’t hesitate at all. Wonbin close to melts into his sheets.
“Eunseok,” he whispers. “My Eunseokie-hyung.”
It doesn’t happen right away but the mood changes. He’s not the only one who notices, and he’s not the only one who wants.
“I’m Wonbin.”
“Wonbinnie,” Eunseok marvels. “That’s a pretty name.”
He preens. He burns. He will never be the same again.
“Hyung, what do you want?”
His fingers won’t stop catching on the buttons of his shirt. He wants to take it off but he has this pest of a thought, this desperate need to serve. He will do anything the older asks for. Give him a birthday present so good, the one Eunseok gave him back then will pale in comparison. He doesn’t even know that was Wonbin’s birthday. They’ve got so much to learn about each other.
“I told you, if you’re happy, I’m happy.” Eunseok straightens in his chair. “What’s on your mind right now?”
“Want to take this off.”
Wonbin tugs at his top and watches the older’s pupils dilate.
“Take it off, then. I want to see.”
If he wants to see, Wonbin will show him. He scrambles to wring his arms out of the sleeves and it’s the least attractive thing he could have done. Eunseok’s eyes are intense, following his every move. Wonbin doesn’t dare think that even at his clumsiest, the older still finds him hot.
“You too, hyung.”
Eunseok obliges. He takes off the shirt he was wearing and now they’re both breathing heavily.
“Wish I could touch you.”
He’s got no filter at this point.
“Wish I could kiss you, Wonbin-ah.”
Apparently, it’s contagious.
He sits closer to the headboard and makes sure the camera captures as much of his body as possible. He’s not wearing pants but there’s still one more layer shielding him from the older’s eyes. A pair of underwear that is already stained with how wet he is. They haven’t even started yet.
With the way Eunseok is sitting in front of his computer, it’s difficult to see what’s going on below his torso. It’s almost frustrating. Wonbin will not beg. He will ask once and that’s it. He just wants a glance.
“Hyung…” he breathes out and hopes it’s enough. It’s like his thoughts are being read. Eunseok readjusts the angle and this time, all of him is in frame. His face and his chest and the way his dick stands, creating a tent in the shorts he has on.
Wonbin stares. He stares and he’s hypnotized and he doesn’t know when his hand palms at his length but he hisses and it brings him out of his trance.
“Want them off,” he whimpers. “Can I?”
He doesn’t need to ask. It’s not necessary and yet, he will explode if he doesn’t get the permission he badly wants to hear.
“So beautiful,” Eunseok muses and he sounds shakier than he did only a few minutes ago. “Take them off.”
He does. He’s finally free. All for his hyung. He hopes he gets praised.
“So good for me, Wonbin-ah.”
That’s his first moan of the night. It surely won’t be the last.
He feels drunk even though he hasn’t had a single drop of whatever it is that Sion brought for him to calm down. He looks at the screen and tries not to dwell on the fact that he can see himself, spread out and open. It’s nothing new but this time, he feels vulnerable. This is not his usual stream. It’s something bigger. Something important.
There’s shuffling in another window and he looks at the person who caused it. Life sure is unfair to him right now. Eunseok’s taken out his cock, stroking it agonizingly slow. It looks like he doesn’t want to rush this. Does he care as much as Wonbin does?
“I want you so bad.”
He doesn’t know how to shut up but at least it’s the truth. He wants so much, it’s physically torturous. He wants to be stuffed full and he wants to be kissed stupid. He wants that dick to hit the back of his throat and he wants to be lulled to sleep.
“What do you want, baby?”
Baby. Eunseok’s baby. That’s him.
“Your fingers.”
He wants what he can’t have and there are tears prickling at the corners of his eyes. He’s got lube this time. Eunseok guides him through pushing in the first digit and if he tries hard enough, he can imagine the older right here. By his side. Stretching him open just so he’s nice and loose. So he can take him. He’d take him either way but Eunseok is kind. Kind and gracious.
“You’re doing so well for me,” the older says. “Do you want one more?”
He’d die for it.
“Hyung,” Wonbin hiccups. “Hyung, do you feel good?”
Because Eunseok is jumpy. His leg bounces fast and his chest is blooming crimson. He dips his thumb into the slit of his cock and Wonbin wishes he could kiss the whimper off his lips. How did they get to this point?
He never wants to go back.
“So good, Wonbin-ah. All because of you.”
He’s elated. He’s floating around his room and nothing can bring him down. Two fingers are not enough. Eunseok curses under his breath as he pushes in one more. Curls all of them up and prods at the bundle of nerves.
“Wish this was you,” Wonbin gasps out. “Wish you could feel.”
“Wonbinnie.”
It’s somewhat of a command. He focuses on the older’s face but he can’t see.
“Wonbinnie, breathe.”
He doesn’t want to. The fourth finger is a tight fit but he manages. The sound is scandalous and the view isn’t any better. He’s not a good boy. He’s not listening to his hyung. He’s selfish. Wants him here. He wants Eunseok to kiss the pain away.
“Baby, you’re going to hurt youself.”
He can take the fifth one, can’t he? He’s never done it before, so he doesn’t know how to go around it. Should he just stick it in?
“Wonbin-ah,” Eunseok calls for what feels like the hundredth time. He’s frowning. He shouldn’t frown. There should never be anything that makes him this bothered. If he has to chase the bad away himself, he will.
“Hyung?”
“There you are.”
He is there. And so is Eunseok. There are fresh tears spilling out and down his cheeks but they’re objectively the least of his concerns. He’s so hard, he feels like he’s got no blood left anywhere else in his body. He could touch himself but that’s never been the way he liked it.
“My beautiful boy.”
“Yours.”
His. From his head to his toes, everything belongs to Eunseok.
“I’m close,” the older says. “Let’s finish together?”
“Yeah,” Wonbin whispers. “Together.”
He winces as soon as all fingers are out. He gapes around nothing. He feels lost. He’s too empty. What good is he now?
“Baby?”
Eunseok’s hand is moving faster this time. He flicks his wrist over the head, precum making the slide easier. Wonbin wants to help him out. He can. He can make his hyung come. He can still be good for him. Useful.
He’s sore but it only spurs him on. He circles the rim a few times and pushes two fingers back in to match the thrusts with the older’s pace. Eunseok is bigger than this. It’ll have to do for now.
His own orgasm comes as a surprise. It’s long and intense, coating the planes of his stomach in white. He doesn’t care about that, though. Eunseok comes at the exact same time. Wonbin is on cloud nine.
It’s quiet after that. They don’t move to clean up and they never stop looking, searching, committing every bit to memory. His heart is beating so loudly, he wonders if the microphone is able to pick it up. He secretly hopes it is. Wants the other to know. Wants him to feel what he feels.
“Can I have your number?” Wonbin whispers.
He couldn’t have made this all up. Them. The thing they have. He’s not alone in this. No matter how sure he is, he’s still terrified and it doesn’t go past Eunseok. Nothing does.
“Of course.”