bursting rubber, we're instant lovers ^^

by Anonymous

Summary:

He felt like he was rotting.

Yet the feeling of decaying felt liberating. His sorry heart felt like it was set free.

He felt loved. He felt like he was needed in this world.

 

or: after itrapped murdered chance, his mental stability was faltering quite rapidly.

Notes:

• Inspired by two chances by Turtlescrawlslow

He has done it again.

 

He has isolated himself again.

 

Sat on the ground, hand over his head slick with blood and sweat, not quite sure of what to do. His gaze hovered here and there, occasionally staring at Chance's collapsed body, culpability chipping away his ego slowly but surely at every glance he stole. The Darkheart was still brutally lodged deep in Chance’s chest. iTrapped did try to remove the sword once the life in Chance’s eyes had successfully diminished, but he couldn’t help feeling nauseous and wincing at every wet squelch and gurgle. 

 

Fuck. 

 

How did he even manage to stab Chance in the first place if he’s such a coward..?

 

He lets out a heavy, trembling sigh, on the verge of throwing a fit. He rubbed his bloodied hands on Chance’s black suit, feeling more and more ashamed of himself. When he deemed his hands clean enough, he stood up, boots clacking against the pavement. Finally, gathering up the remains of his courage, he carried Chance’s body near the ocean. With eyes screwed shut and quick breathes of dread, he managed to extract the Darkheart from the gash, letting it clatter on the ground. 

 

Muttering his last words of farewell to Chance’s deafened ears, he dumped the body in the ocean, water splashing at the impact.

 

Then, the rest went like a blur. He walked back to the empty, closed casino. Even with the lights closed, he could still make out the outline of a closet and took out the spare clothing, quickly changing from his bloodied vest and furcoat with the clean, identical one he had hidden beforehand. After switching clothes and rinsing his Darkheart clean, he went back to the water to dump his stained clothes, before finally going in a taxi to leave the now a crime scene.

 

When he finally arrived, he dropped a few wads of cash, paying more than he needed to and labelled it as extra money as a thank you. 

 

It was only then, in his home, that he finally collapsed on his bed, softly sobbing.

 

Why must Chance be such an idiot?

 

Why did they have to trust him so blindly?

 

And finally, why did they still love him after knowing everything? After knowing that they were never meant to be?

 

What did it even mean to love?

In the past, iTrapped thought he knew what love was. In fact, he fell hard for his best friend. His gaze would linger at their lips longer than a normal person would to be considered a mere accident. He always hugged Ellernate at every occasion he could and masked his innocent flirts as friendly jokes, even if they weren’t.

 

He thought.. He naively thought that they could be together, someday.

 

But of course, he had to wreck it all. It was always him that ruined everything.

 

That day, Ellernate left him alongside with his other ex friends. Even Jonathan didn’t spare him a glance. Only Lonelytree had allowed him to stay at his house for a while in the meantime, as his friends and family cut off all contact with him. Only Lonelytree cared, yet they barely spoke.

 

He felt utterly humiliated. 

 

Then, one day, he learned that his ex friends Caleb and Ellernate were caught by the higher ups, also known as admins. That they were sent to the Banlands, Robloxia’s equivalent of hell. But he also recalled befriending a gambler, the heir of a wealthy family with the access of the Banlands key just by pure coincidence. 

 

He thought freeing them could fix everything. 

 

He thought he could fix everything.

 

But now, the only thing he had left was shame. Guilt. Humiliation. Regret.

 

Screw him. Screw Chance for being so stupid. Screw Ellernate to take a hold of his heart only to discard him. Screw Lonelytree for giving him a second chance when he didn’t deserve it. Screw the Darkheart for existing. 

 

Screw everything!

 

This is fine. This is okay. Everything’s going to be alright. Nothing will ever go wrong.

…..

 

In the middle of the night, he woke up, face slick with sweat and breath cut short–panting. His gaze turned sharply to the right, where his beloved ice crown rested. It was one of the only “gift” (even if it was stolen) he received from his friends, so he treasured it immensely. 

 

His arm reached to grab it, though a hand latched onto his arm in a tight grip. He flinched, not daring to move. 

 

“I missed you.” The voice was like saccharine, dripping sweet yet tasted so obviously fake.

 

iTrapped jerked his hand away from the other’s grip, eyes widened out of fear, maybe disbelief as well. He knocked the other with his elbow off the bed before he hurriedly fumbled through the drawers, frantically throwing whatever that wasn’t what he was searching without giving it a second thought. 

 

His hands found the bottle of pills,  yet as he was going to screw it off, the other already recovered and threw the bottle far away. 

 

“How rude.” ‘iTrapped’ complained, before latching onto iTrapped (mockingly) lovingly. 

 

“Why are you here?” iTrapped’s voice wavered, trying to escape from ‘iTrapped’’s embrace, trying to kick and punch, but ‘iTrapped’’s grip only tightened into a bruising grip that iTrapped started to audibly wince.

 

“Why do you care? Why don’t you care about me instead, mh?” ‘iTrapped’’s hands wander around his body, groping and kneading any bits of flesh ‘his’ filthy hands landed upon. 

 

“Leave me alone–I don’t want you here.” His voice grew more and more terrified, not knowing how to control the situation.

 

“Isn’t that was..Ellernate told you?” ‘iTrapped’ said with a cunning, knowing smile. iTrapped froze almost immediately and ‘iTrapped’ just chuckled, “That’s what I thought.” 

 

‘His’ hand flew to iTrapped’s mouth, silencing it, before biting deep in his neck.

 

The bite wasn’t loving.

 

The bite wasn’t sweet.

 

The bite wasn’t punishing or full of anger.

 

It was animalistic.

 

Blood splattered from the bite and dripped all over, yet he did not slow down. He only deepened the bite, tongue savouring the taste of his blood. iTrapped shrieked and screeched in ‘his’ hand, sounds coming muffled.

 

“You taste so heavenly.” ‘He’ said as he licked a strip of blood on his neck, before taking another bite, and it felt like ‘his’ teeth were like razors, immediately tearing through flesh this time. iTrapped let out a muffled, pathetic cry, but ‘he’ didn’t react. ‘He’ ripped off a bit of his flesh and chewed on it slowly, savoring every moment like ‘he’ was toying with him.

 

“Leave me alone..” iTrapped murmured out, voice grown weak from the constant yelling that had fallen on deaf ears. ‘He’ chuckled before letting iTrapped fall limp on the bed, like a mere doll.

 

“You’re so cute. I bet I could completely crush you and you’d still look so adorable.” ‘He’ smiled, showing his teeth now stained with red. ‘His’ hands crept up to his chest, before going down, inside his pants and underwear.

 

“Don’t.” He gritted through his teeth defiantly. 

 

“Like I said, so cute!” ‘He’ squealed before showing ‘his’ middle finger deep without a warning, looking more and more giddy at iTrapped’s reactions. ‘His’ finger thrusted a few times violently, jamming it as deep as ‘he’ could just to look at his face. 

 

iTrapped became a sobbing mess, hands quickly covering his face out of shame, though ‘he’ slapped his hands away with ‘his’ other, free hand. 

 

“Aww, you scared?” ‘His’ voice was laced with mock-concern and iTrapped wanted to throw up.

 

“You see, iTrapped, this is why people always leave you,” ‘He’ started with a joyous smile, “You’re never honest with your feelings!” ‘He’ declared, pulling his finger out and showing the viscous liquid dripping all over.

 

He had come undone so fast.

 

Maybe it was because his heart had grown bruised and knackered, melted by jealousy and chipped away by love’s hollow niceties, but he leaned in ‘his’ embrace defeatedly.

 

All for the sake of feeling something.

 

“Now, what do you want?” ‘He’ asked generously.

 

“...To feel alive.” He stated.

 

Before he even knew it, a fist connected to his face, the punch so brutal, it immediately bruised his cheek. Then came another fist and another, the punches unrelenting. Nothing was sugar coated, it was just raw.

 

Then ‘his’ hand pulled on his hair, wrenching his head back painfully hard. 

 

He felt like he was rotting.

 

Yet the feeling of decaying felt liberating. His sorry heart felt like it was set free.

 

He felt loved. He felt like he was needed in this world. 

‘He’ took a bite in his chest, or at least it felt so. It didn’t matter if he was battered and bruised–

 

At least he was loved.

 

“You’ve become such a beauty.” ‘He’ whispered sweet nothings, and iTrapped accepted them wholly.

 

‘His’ bloodied hand grabbed onto iTrapped’s bleeding one as veins ran cold, breaths in unison.

 

Finally they become one–

 

The true, raw version of themselves.

Notes:

oiwegnrbiong fd it was kinda rushed at the end