Chapter Text
“That was so bad please-” Chance wheezed, clutching his stomach. Noob grinned at him, patting him on the back. “No- It’s not even funny I don’t know why I’m laughing- you’re horrible. I hate you so much!”
Noob snickered “I’m hilarious and you love me~” she replied, grinning ear to ear, laying her head on Chance’s lap. “You love my puns” It was true. No matter how much their friend TRIED to deny finding their puns funny, the way his eyes crinkled while he tried to contain his laughter gave him away every time. It was kind of endearing, how adamantly he would deny it, even when he was obviously lying.
Chance scowled, but it didn’t really reach his eyes. “No I don’t! They’re awful. They’re going to kill me one day!!” They exclaimed, flicking Noob’s forehead.
“Owwy, you’re so mean to me!! What are you, some sort of tsundere?!” Noob pouted, rubbing where Chance had flicked him.
“Huh?! What did you just say?” Chance balked, opening and closing his mouth as if he kept trying to respond but decided against it at the last minute. Noob could swear his ears turned red, but that was neither here nor there.
“Nothing” She replied, sticking out her tongue “Anyway, did you hear about the casino restaurant that feeds its cows cannabis?”
Chance groaned, sounding long suffering “Is this another pun?”
“Uhm… maybe”
“Just get it over with”
“Well…. some gamblers prefer high steaks”
Chance’s mouth pressed into a thin line “I actually hate you”
“No you don’t~!” Noob sing songed.
“Yes I do” He pushed his best friend off his lap, the guy in question landing on the floor in a heap.
Noob whined, pushing himself up before glaring at Chance “That hurt!” It didn’t. But it was still kind of rude in his opinion.
Chance rolled his eyes, smiling “You can handle it ITra-” the gambler’s smile flickered ever so slightly at the slip up “Noob. You can-”
Noob’s face fell completely. “You did it again.” He muttered bitterly. Of course he did. Of COURSE he almost said that guy’s name. She really shouldn’t be surprised at this point.
“What-”
“You almost called me ITrapped. name… again. You keep doing that” Noob pointed out, voice shaking slightly.
“It was an accident, you know that Noob, I don’t mean anything by it!” Chance explained, a tight smile on his face. “Don’t take it personally, alright?” he put a hand on his friend’s shoulder.
Noob took a shaky breath, smacking Chance’s hand away. “Do you even see me as my own person…?” great. Now he felt like crying. Awesome. Great job Noob, taking everything way too personally again! This is why you keep losing people! This is why nobody likes you! You’re doing it again! Are you proud of yourself? Proud that you’re going to lose someone else important to you? Are you? “Do you even actually care about me?”
“Of course I do! That’s ridiculous-”
“Am I just a redo for whatever you did wrong with him ? Because I’m sorry but I can’t-” He hiccuped, feeling tears prick his eyes, his vision going blurry “I can’t deal with that- I can’t deal with this.”
“Noob, take a breather, you’re spiraling-”
Noob shot Chance a glare “You don’t get to interupt me” he growled, “I’ve tried SOO hard to be understanding and deal with this! I have tried SO hard! Do you know- do you have ANY idea how hard that’s been?” She was full on sobbing now, voice shaking, hands clenching at his sides. “Everything sucks. EVERYTHING FUCKING SUCKS SO BAD BUT I- I’VE BEEN TRYING SO HARD! SO HARD TO HOLD IT TOGETHER!” they were yelling at this point, but they were too far gone to even care. “And- and I thought, oh, we’re friends now.” he was fucking everything up. He knew that. They knew that. They knew they were going to fuck everything up and lose someone else. But he couldn’t stop. It was too much. “We- we’re friends now! He cares about me! That’s what I thought.” She shoved a finger into Chance’s chest “I don’t think you do though. I don’t think you actually care about me at this point, because no matter how LONG we’ve been friends, no matter how much I try, no matter what I DO, you keep calling me by his name.”
“Noob, I’m sorry, I don’t mean to do it, it’s an accident!”
“Of course it is! It always is isn’t it?” Noob spat “I’m not him. I don’t care if we look the same. We’re FRIENDS Chance. You’re one of my CLOSEST friends actually. Maybe even my best friend! So I don’t CARE if I look like him because you should know better by now! Because if you actually gave a SHIT about me you wouldn’t make this ‘mistake’ EVERY OTHER DAY! And I’m not gonna stand here and pretend I know what you’re going through because I DON’T KNOW. But I know that you’re struggling, and I’m really really sorry about that, that really sucks for you. I’ve lost people I care about too, okay? I’ve fucked up before. I’ve lost the only person that ever mattered to me, so I have SOME semblance of understanding. I’ve fucked up, I’ve made mistakes, but you know what I don’t do? I don’t find someone that LOOKS like who I’ve lost in some fucked up way of coping.”
Chance scowled “That’s not what’s going on, and you should know that full well”
Noob laughed sharply “It’s not? Or is that just what you’re telling yourself? I’m not him. I don’t know if you KNOW THAT? I’m not who you want me to be! And I’m starting to think you don’t really like me that much, which is FINE! That’s fair! I wouldn’t like me either! But it kinda fucking hurts to know that you don’t and probably never actually did. You never saw me as me, you just saw me as… someone who you needed a restart with.”
“Why are you acting like you know how I’m feeling? Why do YOU get to decide if I like you or not? Are you really that insecure? It’s kind of pathetic, you know? How much you care about this.” Chance snapped, pushing Noob away from him. “You’re pathetic”
“Oh.” Noob breathed out, big hot tears running down his face “Thanks for letting me know”
Then Chance seemed to realize what they’d just said “Noob, I’m sorry- I didn’t mean-”
“No, I get it! It’s fine! Thanks for not lying to me! You’re right. I am pathetic” he hiccuped “I’m fucking pathetic for ever thinking you liked me, I’m fucking PATHETIC for caring about you. I’m so FUCKING pathetic for loving you. I’m sorry.”