Chapter Text
“Severus, my boy, come in, come in,” the headmaster ushered him in as if he were still a student in this school and not the potion master of over a decade. Severus had to use a large amount of his self-control to keep from rolling his eyes or sneering at the old man’s false care.
“Headmaster, you called.”
“Right to the point as always, my boy. Yes, yes, I would like to inform you of who has accepted the post for defence this year!” Raising one eyebrow in response, Severus just stared at the headmaster. The ever-present twinkle in the headmaster's eyes was shining with mischief. There has never been a need to inform Severus, or anyone for that matter, who would be filling the never-ending open door that was the defence position, why he felt the need to tell Severus of all people did not bode well.
“I am informing you, as he will be needing the help of my most pristine potions master,” the headmaster continued. “Our newest professor will need a rather… difficult potion for his... Condition.”
“What could he possibly need that he could not make himself?” Severus asked. “I do not have time for mundane positions. If this new professor is so inept that they can not make a simple pain relief or insulin balancer, how are they to deal with the dunderheads they are supposed to teach?” It was a new level for Albus to assume he would help another if not for the order. He barely helped there and only out of guilt.
“Oh, I’m sure our newest professor will have no trouble with the students, he was a prefect in school. Just a wonderful student, not too bad at potions if you asked Horce, I’m sure,” the headmaster chuckled. Severus stood patiently, waiting for the headmaster to get to the point so that he could deny the request and return to the lab, where he had a few projects he was currently working on.
“What do you want, Albus?” Severus drawled, trying to get the headmaster back on track.
“Ah, yes, our new professor will be in need of Wofsbane, my dear, quite a tricky potion, that one.” The headmaster's eyes twinkled as he turned to look at Severus, whose eyes had widened at the name of the potion. Why was the headmaster hiring a werewolf, and, more importantly, why was he giving Severus that look? The look that told him, he wasn't going to like the headmaster’s next words. “You do remember Remus Lupin, do you not?” Ah, there it is, the other shoe.
Severus turned quickly on his heel and headed out of the headmaster's office with a quick, clipped “Yes.”
“He’ll need the first dose at the end of August!” Albus called after him before Severus slammed the door in a way that would have been cause for dentation had he still been a student.
Remus. Fucking. Lupin. He has hired Remus Lupin for the Defence position. The man had been a prefect, sure, but what had he done to stop that brood he hung out with? He was a compliant, sorry excuse for a prefect, with no spine. A sorry excuse for a Gryffindor if Severus had ever seen, all of those Marauders were. Lupin would not have the spine to deal with these children, especially those twins; he’d probably encourage them just like he did with those friends of his. What did all that trouble and fun even get them? Dead. Prison. And Remus, Remus was living at his parents' cottage, unemployed most of the time. Who would hire him if he missed two days every month? And what will he do now that he was close enough to talk to Harry? Merlin. Severus knew Remus had been trying to reach out to the boy since the beginning, but he had hit every barrier. The barrier that was unemployment. The barrier that was the ministry’s abysmal treatment of werewolves. The barrier that was Albus's excuse of “blood wards” keeping Harry’s home unplotted. Severus knew there was a secret that Albus didn't want Remus knowing, or he wouldn't have tried so hard to keep him away from Harry. Severus knew all of this, which made this situation even worse.
Severus turned into his potions lab and started to pace. He needed to make a plan. Yes, a plan, because Dumbledore wanted him to brew a highly difficult, highly volatile, and extremely time-consuming potion for a man who had made his life miserable. He wanted Severus to brew a potion that only a few potion masters can make correctly to keep the secret of a man that Severus had not talked to in over a decade. He wanted Severus to brew a potion that he had no extra time to brew because he was already brewing it, and that was the problem. Severus had perfected his Wolfsbane over the years he had been brewing it. Thankfully, only one wolf had ever tasted it, so that wolf would not realize just how different Severus' potion is from regular Wolfsbane. Thankfully, that wolf was Remus, who would be taking his potion because this year and would not know what regular wolfsbane tastes like. Severus would have to be careful or Remus would find out that Severus had been the anonymous donor sending him Wolfsbane. He couldn’t let him know. He couldn’t find out. It would ruin everything. Everything Severus had had planned. Everything he had kept secret. Everything he had worked on. He needed a plan.
First, he would have to get different goblets; Remus could not see the specialty goblet he had made to keep the potion hot until consumed. Then Severus would have to double the wards on his personal lab. His wards were impeccable, but they needed to be better. Severus could not risk Remus seeing… or smelling anything. Who even thinks about smell when warding a place? Severus, because he couldn’t let Remus near his lab, couldn’t let him come close to finding the research Severus had done on Wolfsbane. Remus may be a pushover but he wasn’t dumb. If Remus got a spec of a clue, he would figure it out. Finally, Severus had to “cancel” his donation to Remus in July before there was no crossover and no way for Remus to know.
Severus sighed and set to work. He needed to have everything ready before he sent his last potion in July anonymously. At the very least, he didn't have to pay for the ingredient for a year.
— RJL —
“Poppy, please meet the students as they arrive. There was a dementor on the train, and a few students had rather severe reactions:” Remus said to his wolf. He sent him off with two more to Albus and Minerva, their’s said told them Harry had fainted. Remus was appalled as his luck had struck once again. He had finally gotten close enough to his pseudo godson to talk to him, check on him, get to know him, finally, possibly, raise him and the fucking moon, and, now, dementors had ruined everything.
He had told Albus he would take the train to Hogwarts. The express usually had a staff member in the front compartment to make sure no students were left on the platform, or on the train, and in case of emergencies during the 6-hour ride. This usually went unnoticed by students, as there was a private compartment for this at the front of the train where Remus had dropped his bag earlier before setting off down the train and to the last compartment. He had wanted to see the compartment he had spent seven summers in with James and Peter, and…. Where he and his friends would always sit. He told himself he would sit and wait until he spotted Harry, and then he would leave, go to the staff compartment. He wanted to meet Harry at the school with his good robes and letters and a cup of tea. Remus had been well aware Harry didn't remember him, and would probably not want much to do with him but he had to try right? He was his best friend’s son, he had to try. Harry probably loved his Aunt and Uncle, he probably didn’t have a need for Remus, for his Uncle Moony, but Remus had been trying for 12 years, and he wasn’t about to stop now. Especially since he was finally close enough to do something about it, even if he just wanted to see him. Just see him, they’d talk later.
Unfortunately, the moon had been full the night before, and Remus was exhausted. The full moon had been tough since his pack left but was manageable when the anonymous donations started. At first, he thought it a fluke, but he had grown used to having the potion, until July. That was when he had received the donor’s note saying it would be the last batch, which meant he was on his own for August. So last night Remus had been alone, without his pack, without his potion, without his sense of self, and Remus was exhausted for the wolf had not slept a wink. Succumbing to that exhaustion as he watched and waited he awoke only when bloody dementor was inches from Harry’s unconscious body. The first time seeing him in 12 years, and he was bloody unconscious, and it was all Remus’s fault because he, once again, was not good enough. Bloody fucking moon, if he hadn’t fallen asleep the creature wouldn’t have made it near the train, let alone his cub.
Remus shook his head as he walked up and down the train, checking on all of the students before heading to the professor's compartment, where he should have been to begin with if he hadn’t been reminiscing. He was heading to Hogwarts as a professor, not a student he was acting ridiculous. There was no one waiting for him at the compartment, no one who knew his nickname and all that it meant; he had to get his act together. This wasn't the 70s anymore, he couldn’t get caught reminiscing, and no more bloody swearing, he had to put his public mask back on. The mask of the docile, sweet, book-loving man that wouldn’t harm a bowtruckle. He had to be the man who didn't swear, drink, smoke, or cause mayhem. He hated that mask but he had learned long ago it was what people wanted to see in a werewolf. Everyone liked that mask, trusted it. The person he pretended to be put everyone at ease. Well, almost everyone, there was one certain Slytherin wanker that seemed to always see right through him and in a short time, Remus would come face to face with him again. He only hoped time really did heal all things.
— STS—
“Poppy, please meet the students as they arrive. There was a dementor on the train and a few students had rather severe reactions:” Remus Lupin's voice came through the silver wolf Severus never thought he’d see again. As soon as Severus heard the words not meant for him, he froze. It wasn't the words themselves but the voice that had him forgetting to breathe. The voice he knew was coming and yet was still unprepared for. The voice of Remus Fucking Lupin.
Severus headed down from the staff table behind Minerva and Poppy. Was he asked for? No. Was he needed? Most likely not. Did he know why he was going? He told himself he had no idea, but he was going anyway.
As soon as Severus turned the corner he was confronted with the person he had been thinking about nonstop since July. The person whose existence had consumed his life since he was 13 years old. The wolf himself.
“Sev-” Remus started to say his name
“No” was all Severus could say before he took off after Minerva, keeping his back to the wolf.
“Alright..” Severus heard Remus mutter under his breath, but continued walking. He thought he had been prepared for this meeting. He was going to act indifferent. Make it look as if he hated the wolf. He was going to tell the man he was unwelcome here and that he had better walk a thin line. He was going to make sure he knew that Remus was helping Black, and Severus wanted nothing to do with it, Dark Mark or no. He was going to say a lot of things, close every door to friendliness he could, but when Remus' golden eyes landed on his, Severus said none of those things. His heart had leaped to his throat at the knowing look in the wolf's eyes, and he turned before his heart spoke for him.