Chapter Text
Do you know the older brother syndrome? It’s said that when a father neglects his duty, the older brother will be forced to take it, and when they try to reclaim their title, they will find themselves facing the consequences of their negligence.
Raphael and Leonardo knew it well, their father locked himself away since Raph’s 6th birthday, which would be an average age to give a child some freedom, but not to abandon him. He wouldn’t come out of his room, and in a way, he couldn’t judge him, depression must have eaten him alive, that’s why people with depressive symptoms shouldn’t have children.
But Leo never looked kindly on his father in his youth, taking care of his family from an early age ruined his entire childhood.
Mikey was just about to turn 4 years old, he was very little, protecting him was a priority, and although Donnie was a bit older than him (just a bit), he couldn’t deal with the burden of his younger brother. Donnie was withdrawn, he didn’t speak, not because he didn’t know how, but because he didn’t like to; he made squeaks, gurgles and some signs to communicate, so everything fell on Leo and Raph.
And those days were horrible, fixing the nest, securing the lair, cooking the little he knew, no matter the disaster he left behind, bathing his brothers, keeping the lair warm in winter, taking care of Mikey, but without neglecting Donnie.
And that was only from his side, Raph was the one who went out every moment for supplies, even when he came back crying for breaking his ideals, he carried everyone’s weight, taking care of Leo if he got sick from stress, keeping Donnie and Mikey away from dangers, and if it happened, watching the boys so Leo could rest.
And even looking back, taking on the role of parents was difficult, but it had its sweet moments.
He still remembers Mikey’s first words, a simple mispronounced “Mommy,” directed at Leo.
And although tenderness surrounded his heart, he couldn’t help but be horrified a few minutes later. He wasn’t Mikey’s mother, he was barely a year older than him, and even if Mikey developed slowly, that didn’t erase their tiny age difference, and he knew well where the boy got the idea: those nights when he fell asleep in the nest with the projector on, Mikey must have connected a mother’s actions to him.
And with time, the “Mom” dynamic continued, but one random day, Donnie and Mikey agreed to call Raph “Dad.”
And okay, he admits it, he laughed a little (a lot) when it happened, but then something happened: his brothers started calling Leo “Mom” and Raph “Dad,” and then things started to get weird.
They can’t blame Raph for what happened afterwards, nor himself, they were kids, they didn’t know what they were doing, and no one told them it was wrong, their father didn’t even come out of his room, and they didn’t socialize with anyone but each other.
After all, Mom and Dad love each other, don’t they?
It was an idea rooted by that stupid projector, those movies were their only connection to the outside, you can’t blame them, you can’t blame them, YOU CAN’T.
…He still misses the kisses in the kitchen, while feeding Mikey, while Raph tried to understand Donnie’s ramblings, the nights of lounging, when Mikey and Donnie were too entertained by Lou Jitsu’s movies to notice the kisses and headbutts of the happy “couple.”
And even with all this said, it all ended the way it began, out of nowhere.
At 8 years old, his father came out of his room, and there he saw him…
What happened after was a blur, the words “Mom” and “Dad” were forbidden, Leo and Raph couldn’t be alone, and now the word “Father” was only for Splinter.
And even with all that, it was impossible to erase what was done, Mikey still goes to Leo or Raph’s room when he has nightmares, Donnie might say something to Splinter, but through signs and gurgles he told the opposite to the others.
And even though he misses the previous dynamic, he couldn’t help but feel relieved, he was able to live the childhood he never had, Raph was finally able to relax in the lair, and there were no more worries about dinner, Mikey’s bedtime, or checking on Donnie to see if he had overstimulated himself.
And look, his father has fixed his mistakes, he spends time with them, listens to them, and no longer locks himself up, and now he doesn’t hate him, but he still looks poorly at Raph and Leo when he thinks they don’t notice.
And speaking of Raph, their relationship is complicated, both feel guilty for what they did, since Leo regained his childhood he’s acted immature and lazy, while Raph can’t let go of his “big daddy” personality, there were conflicts, many, so many conflicts, they try to see each other as brothers, but it’s useless, because Leo will sneak out of his room anyway, it’s useless if they kiss in secret, and they’re teenagers, hormones are at their peak, do you know how unbearable it was to know that Raph was in heat and not be able to jump on him?
Not that Mikey and Donnie help either, covering for them when their father asked, calling them “mom” and “dad” in private.
Please! Hypno and Warren think they’re their parents, even Big Mama thought so, she found out the hard way (coughcoughSplintercoughcough).
And everything got worse since the Krang attack, Father couldn’t stop Raph from breaking into the infirmary, just by hearing his squeals of pain, asking for the company of his mate, he couldn’t help but hear Donnie and Mikey’s sobs, screaming their despair for their mother at the top of their lungs, he couldn’t ignore how CJ bit his tongue every time he called Leo “mom” and Raph “dad,” he couldn’t ignore CJ calling Donnie and Mikey brothers, he couldn’t ignore April blocking the infirmary when Raph passed by, making it clear to him not to interrupt the moment, he didn’t ignore the scream they let out when they saw Leo sacrifice himself, it wasn’t brotherly love, and he knew it well.
And now they’re here, all because of his stupidity, he wanted to use his katanas again, and opened a portal, ignoring how Raph held his wrists to help him, they were only going to see Mr.Hueso, and now how are they here?
In a dark version of New York, with Mikey suffering from his Lichtenberg wounds, which had reopened again, Donnie overstimulated, and Leo and Raph as the only “healthy” ones.
It all goes back to the beginning, it was the only thing he thought when everything went black.
Regression, it had been so long since he knew that word.