Chapter Text
Once upon a time- No, scratch that.
Let’s start from the top, alright?
It all began…in a small village. Where one day, the floor of its catacombs collapsed! And out from its depths, a wrinkled, humanoid form emerged. It spoke with a woman’s voice and she said:
“I am the queen of a golden country that had fallen a thousand years ago.”
Clinging to the ground, she spoke of how her nation of gold was sealed underground by a ruthless, mad mage .
“We have remained there since.”
The villagers were terrified. Their hands clung onto their torches and shovels. The woman continued on, gaunt eyes staring.
“To the one who defeats the mage, I shall bestow upon them my entire kingdom.”
Then, she crumbled to dust and vanished .
Zoro could feel the sun on his face. He could hear his ears ringing and his body felt like shit.
Everything hurted.
Hang on…why could he feel the sun on his face?
Groaning, he rubbed his eyes and sat up, his hands running through the soft grass beneath him. In a haze, he opened his eyes and saw the bodies of his companions strewn across the meadow.
No mistaking it, he thought, we’re on the surface.
Zoro looked around and counted. Nami and Usopp were next to each other, so that’s 2 down. Nami clung onto her spiked club (for her dwarven stature, it was quite a large club) and Usopp clutched his ears.
Half-foots really are that sensitive huh.
He could hear Robin chanting as she knelt over Chopper, their deer beast-man healer. Her hands desperately running over him and releasing mana.
Quite a bit of red on Chopper there.
Zoro shook his head and wracked his memory. Who were the others with them? Then, it came to him as he heard the pained groans of 4 individuals.
Their party had allied with the party of one Trafalgar Law’s at the beginning of this raid. Alliances between parties were unusual, since most adventurers were out for their own skins. Zoro and the rest thought Law was no exception, considering the rumours of him being the “Healer of Death” (whatever that meant). But their leader Luffy trusted him and to Zoro, Leader’s orders meant Leader’s orders.
Law and his 3 party members: Bepo, Penguin and Shachi, laid near each other. Although, it was more like Law was crowded around by his panicked companions.
Someone was still missing.
A sharp pain hit Zoro as he looked around again. Six party members including himself and Luffy for their party, then Law’s party was four in total…
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine…
Fuck.
It became very clear to Zoro what had just happened.
(Minutes before.)
After multiple trips cut short due to resurrection, their two parties finally reached the sixth floor of this dungeon. With their numbers and shared power within the alliance, nothing could stop them.
Wrong.
That was what one Roronoa Zoro thought as they saw a giant dragon with crimson red scales breathing down at them. His party leader, Monkey D. Luffy, beamed and marvelled at the creature. Of course, it responded by unleashing a fire breath.
A dragon this size should be no problem for their alliance. Hell, they had 10 people. 3 of whom were skilled mages and the rest (bar Usopp), excellent melee fighters.
Yet it all went wrong.
“ I’m really hungry, ” Luffy had groaned to the rest after he cast a protection spell on them all and punched the dragon square in the eye. Law had berated him for not following a plan but swiftly sent a lightning strike at the dragon’s torso.
Luffy was right, thought Zoro as he ran to support Nami after she was hit by the dragon’s claws. They were all starving.
And it made everyone so sluggish.
Their map had a minor mistake and though minor, it made them waste an entire day wandering. Then 3 days worth of provisions went down a trap.
Zoro saw Shachi charge at the dragon with his axe, but he and Nami (now healed by Chopper) were immediately blasted by fire.
Shit, this is bad.
He rushed to cover for them, drawing his second sword from its sheath.
No one was dying here, they were too far down.
As Zoro turned to get to Nami and Shachi, he felt two hands on his back.
“Oi Zoro! Look out-”
Then he heard the snapping of jaws.
Zoro looked up.
Luffy was in the Red Dragon’s mouth.
Huh?
“Luffy-ya!” Zoro heard Law shout, his breaths seemed pained.
Zoro felt his own muscles seize up. He couldn’t be frozen in fear, he thought as his hands trembled around his swords, he couldn’t!
Luffy was in the Red Dragon’s mouth, damnit!
Do something, anything!
We can’t fail!
Zoro stood up and got into a stance to kill. He could feel the burn and the pain in his legs. His metal armour thoroughly warmed by the surrounding fire.
“Get everyone out of here, Traffy!”
Then, there was a flash of light.
And the dragon was nowhere in sight.
A wave of rage flooded through Zoro as he recalled what happened. He got up, legs still a bit weak from the pain and stomped towards where a certain Trafalgar Law was.
That idiot elf had teleported everyone back to the surface, yet where the hell was Luffy?!
“Oi, Trafalgar…” Zoro seethed as he made his way to the tattooed magic user, who was clutching his staff and breathing heavily.
“Ahh, captain! ” Bepo, their bear beast-man fighter, cried and shook Law hard by the shoulders. “It’s Roronoa-”
Zoro picked up Law by his tunic and shoulder cowl. The elf was tall but he weighed nothing to Zoro’s half-ogre strength.
“Put him down, you idiot!” Shachi shouted, drawing his axe.
“What the hell are you doing?!” Penguin screeched.
Zoro stared down at Law, his canines bared, and bellowed.
“Where the hell is Luffy?! Why didn’t you teleport him out?!”
“ Roronoa-ya- ” Law had wheezed out but Zoro paid no attention as he cursed at Law.
“I thought you were an expert at this! You-”
“Won’t you just listen?! ” Law screamed, tattooed hands clawing at Zoro’s actually clawed hands.
For a brief moment, there was silence. Then, reluctantly, Zoro dropped Law to the ground. He watched as the elf stood up, wobbly, with his black and wooden magical staff.
Zoro raised an eyebrow. “Well?”
“Ugh…” Law groaned and then coughed. “Spell couldn’t work on him.”
“What?!” Usopp’s shrill voice pierced through. The five of them turned their heads to see him, Nami, Robin and Chopper standing. Well, Chopper was being carried on a walking plant bed.
Law smoothed down his clothes. His breathing was still heavy, but his eyes were soft. “He got eaten, the spell couldn’t reach. Straw Hat-ya yelled at me to teleport you guys out.”
Zoro noticed Nami staring at Law with the most incredulous of expressions.
“That’s what happened.”
“That idiot…so you just listened to him?!” She screeched. “I thought you were the smart one in this alliance!”
Law clung onto his staff harder and bit his lip. He bit on it so hard that blood bursted out. “You think I listened to him?! I know how much that Vollidot cares about you guys so I teleported you all on my own volition! I listen to no one!”
Then he stomped at the ground and dug his nails into his staff, his hands trembling still.
“Great! We’ve left Luffy to be eaten!” Usopp threw his arms into the air.
Law seethed again. “I never said that, Long Nose-ya!”
“Can’t you all shut up! ” At the voice of Penguin, everyone turned their heads to look at him. He was kneeling by Chopper and using a basic healing spell. Robin rapidly flipped through her grimoire.
Robin breathed in heavily as she stood up. “I trust you all, but I’m announcing my leave here.”
“Robin…” Nami said, her hands holding onto her spiked club.
Zoro gritted his teeth. “So you’re just-”
“I will return to the party at a later date, Zoro,” Robin sighed. “...But Chopper is seriously injured.” Her voice shook as she closed her grimoire. “I’m going to have to take him back into town.”
Zoro stared at Chopper on the makeshift bed Robin made using plant magic. His tiny body was covered in wounds and breath weak from low mana.
“Nico-ya, I can just-” Law had started, his hand held out and ready to heal Chopper. But Robin cut him off.
“No, conserve your strength,” Robin said as she commanded the plant bed to move. “You’ll need it.”
It was a cryptic answer from Robin as always, with an equally cryptic smile, but they bid her and Chopper goodbye. Not long after, after they all reached some semblance of calm, Zoro placed his hand back on his swords and turned to speak to everyone else.
“I’m going back in,” Zoro announced to others.
“Excuse me?” Usopp stared at him, posing oddly.
“Luffy got eaten, ergo, he’s still in the dungeon.” Zoro scratched at his head. “So I’m going to go rescue him.
As he turned, he felt Nami yank at his arm.
“Now hang on a minute, Zoro,” she said, giving him a side-eye.
Zoro tilted his head. “What, witch?”
“Traffy’s spell there teleported all of us out.” Nami sighed and pointed at Law. “But, none of our inventory is here.”
Zoro furrowed his eyebrows. “So?”
Nami gripped at his arm harder. “ So? We’re fucking broke, dumbass!” Then she released his arm and poked sharply at his belly. “No money, no food, no nothing! How the hell are we saving Luffy like this?!”
Zoro thought for a moment. He usually operated with little plan, trusting his instincts much like how Luffy did, but no supplies was really a big issue.
“I could sell my armour…” He mused. Usopp’s expression twisted into a grimace.
“That’s so reckless!”
Zoro felt a vein in his forehead pop and he snapped at Usopp. “You got a better plan? It’s quick cash and we don’t have time to waste! Luffy could be digested while we’re all loitering to get ready!”
Usopp and Nami glanced at each other, then at their own hands. There was an uncomfortable silence.
“Zoro-ya’s right.”
Zoro was surprised to hear Law standing on his side, considering how pragmatic the man was.
“Captain-” Bepo reached a hand out to Law but was brushed aside.
Law rubbed at his temples and breathed. “Large beasts like dragons don’t move a lot after eating so digestion should be slowed. If we leave now, we should be able to resurrect Straw Hat-ya before he is fully digested. So, Zoro-ya’s right.”
Zoro nodded, despite their early altercation, he was happy that Law was supporting him. His logical reasoning was a lot more convincing than Zoro’s regular bluntness.
“Therefore, I will be disbanding my party.”
Nevermind that logical reasoning he was praising Law for because what the fuck did he just hear him say?
“Captain!” Bepo, Penguin and Shachi shouted.
“Dude, what? ” Nami stared at Law, horrified.
“I won’t have any of them be eaten.” Law crossed his arms and huffed. Then Zoro saw him turn towards where he was. “And I’ll be joining you, Nami-ya and Nose-ya. You’ll need a strong magic user after Nico-ya and Tony-ya left.”
Zoro glanced at the three members of Law’s party. Understandably, they seemed very slighted by what just happened.
“Oi Law, you can’t just do this!” Shachi stomped.
“Yeah! We’ve been with you since the start!” Penguin punched at the air.
“I agree with both of them!” Bepo pointed a thumbs down. “Boo!”
Law clutched his staff. “My decision is final!” He yelled and instantly, the three of his party members were quiet. “...Find another employer in the mean-time. Don’t burden yourselves with this. I couldn’t get Luffy-ya out in time, so I’m going back in to help rescue him.”
Zoro stared at him alongside everyone else.
“Our alliance is not over yet, I can’t have him dead.” Law stared at the six of them. There was an unusual softness in his gold eyes, Zoro noticed, and a subtle blush on his cheeks.
“...Okay, Captain,” Bepo whispered, twiddling his furry thumbs. Then he rushed to pull Law into a hug. Zoro couldn’t help but snort at the sight of the scary elf mage being squeezed by a fluffy polar bear beast-man. Penguin and Shachi joined the hug, though their shorter statures as a gnome and a dwarf meant they were hugging at the other two’s legs.
“Stay safe, okay!” Bepo sniffled.
“You’re suffocating me-” Law wriggled and coughed. “And you two, get off our legs!”
“Sorry.” Bepo promptly released Law from his furry hands. Zoro could definitely admit then, the scary Healer of Death had a soft side.
After a few more tearful goodbyes from Law’s now former party members, the remaining four stood together.
“So…” Usopp crossed his arms and looked at the rest. “What now?”
Zoro put his hand under his chin. There was a pregnant pause amongst them.
“You and Nami can leave if you want,” He finally said to Usopp.
“Huh?!”
Law merely huffed.
Zoro looked at the shocked faces of Nami and Usopp. “Not going to drag you guys into this just so you’ll get eaten like Luffy-”
He promptly felt Nami kick him hard in the shin. Though short compared to his height as a half-ogre and half Tall-man, Nami was really strong. Zoro winced in pain and yelped.
“‘Scuse you, Zoro! Luffy’s our leader, ‘course we’re coming with you to save him!” Nami huffed then grabbed Usopp. “You agree, right, Usopp?”
Usopp’s legs were visibly shaking but his face was full of determination. “Yeah that’s right! I’m saving my best friend! We’ll do anything!”
Zoro grinned. He really could always trust them.
“Also you can’t find your bloody way around a dungeon even if your life begged you to and I’m not about to let Traffy suffer with that,” Nami said, pointing a finger at Zoro.
Law nodded. “Thank you, Nami-ya.” Zoro shot him a look of betrayal.
And so with a new party established (or salvaged), the five of them began to make their way to the dungeon. On the way, they began to take notice of their hunger as sharp rumbles quickly crossed all of their ears.
“But we really should eat first, huh?” Usopp sighed and rubbed at his belly. “There’s cheap meals at the public dining hall…Ooh or we could go to Laughing Wolf Tavern, they’ve got huge portions!”
Nami pointed at another restaurant after looking around the streets. “That one’s got a great menu too! Their meat dumpling soup is to die for!”
Zoro took note of how she and Usopp drooled as they thought about what to eat. Then he thought about what Luffy had said about monsters. Zoro glanced at Law, who seemed to have understood what Zoro was thinking.
“We’re going to the dungeon now,” Law announced flatly. Zoro nodded.
“What? But you need to eat,” Nami said, looking at both Law and Zoro. “We quite literally almost died because we were too hungry.”
“Can’t waste time looking for a restaurant,” Zoro yawned. “Come on.”
Stomachs still empty, the party soon arrived at the dungeon entrance. Its darkness was foreboding yet exciting.
“We’ll be getting all our food from the dungeon.” Zoro pointed at the dingy entrance. Law nodded firmly, his arms crossed.
“What?!” Nami and Usopp shouted in unison.
“Dungeons are full of monsters, so therefore it must have an ecosystem,” Law began, his face deadly serious. “Carnivorous monsters eat the herbivorous and the herbivorous eat the plants. The plants need water, light and dirt to grow.”
“Therefore!” Law slammed his staff. “We humanoids must be able to sustain ourselves within the dungeon too!”
Zoro nodded along. “What he said.”
“ HUH?!?! ”
The utter shock persisted as they began to descend into the dungeon. Usopp and Nami stared at the other two, questioning what sort of logic ran their brains. Zoro was not surprising, but for Law to be such a…
“We’re really eating monsters?” Usopp groaned as he fiddled with his leather belt.
“Every meal,” Zoro answered, his armour clanging as he walked down the steps.
“Even with our one trip together as an alliance, some of those monsters must have looked tasty to you both,” Law said, his tone flat as always.
All the monsters they had ever seen crossed Usopp and Nami’s minds after they heard Law and not one looked like they could be eaten or even be… tasty .
“No they weren’t!” Nami grabbed at Law’s tunic. “Are you insane?!”
Law stared at her, unsmiling with a singular raised eyebrow.
“Zoro! You can’t possibly be agreeing with Traffy’s crazy plan?” Usopp begged.
Zoro glanced away from him. “I mean Luffy also wanted to eat monsters, and his reasons really did seem sound.”
Usopp groaned.
“Also he told me that lots of people here hunt monsters for food, so quit being wimps,” Zoro sighed and continued walking down.
“That’s because they’re criminals who were banished down here??” Nami pulled at her hair. “And they’re always sick from food poisoning, blowing chunks from both ends! ”
“...That is also fascinating,” Law said. Nami could not believe what she was hearing.
Great, he’s also weird about medicine and health conditions.
“What else can we do then? Like you said, we’re broke.” Law then leaned down until he was almost eye level with both her and Usopp. “And you did also say that you’ll do anything to save Luffy-ya?”
Nami frowned, “...That was Usopp, don’t pin that one on me.”
“Hey!” Usopp had protested but Nami jabbed him in the ribs.
“Anyway, didn’t say I’d eat monsters, Usopp too,” Nami huffed. She was Nami of Cocoyashi, trained by dwarf warrior Bell-Mere, elf mage Trafalgar Law did not scare her.
Law merely raised an eyebrow at her. Zoro seemed to be trying to not laugh. Nami was going to punch them both in the head, their heights be damned.
“Plus! We could all die from poisoning if we ate monsters!” Usopp crossed his arms and stood on his tiptoes, trying whatever he could to seem intimidating.
Law sighed and rubbed at his temples. “I can just heal-”
A loud scream cut him off. Everyone turned to see a group of adventurers running in their direction, their faces horrified.
“RUN!!!” The leading man screamed as he ran from whatever was chasing him and his party.
Which…was a Walking Mushroom.
With a single bonk, Nami killed the mushroom with her club.
The four of them collectively stared at the mushroom, wondering what was so menacing about it.
“They gotta stop letting rookies in,” Nami grimaced. “I swear if they’re that scared of a Walking Mushroom then- Huh?”
Law picked up the dead fungus.
“Oi! Oi, Traffy…Traffy!” Usopp bit at his nails.
Zoro stared at the Walking Mushroom in Law’s hands. “Guess that’s our lunch.”
Law nodded.
Usopp and Nami stared at them.
“THAT’S GROSS!!” Usopp lamented at the top of his lungs, then he began to writhe on the floor, even doing a headstand. “Ew nope, nope, nope, NOPE! Not happening, NOT eating that!”
Nami looked at Usopp, then at Law and Zoro. She sighed, “Is that even safe to eat?”
Zoro dug around his rucksack and pulled out a slightly dilapidated book. “I mean according to Luffy’s Monster Gourmet Guide, it is.” Luffy had given Zoro the only book he actually read for safekeeping, since it kept falling from his rucksack during fights.
“Luffy reads books?” Usopp stared in disbelief.
“He only paid attention to this one,” Zoro shrugged, then he went back to the book. “Says here the mushroom is a basic ingredient and has a mild and meaty flavour.”
Nami inspected the book, its spine was flaking and creased and its pages had been dog-earred into oblivion, there were also tags everywhere.
“He read this a lot, huh?” Nami tilted her head. Her eyes widened a little when Zoro took the book from her and put it back in his rucksack.
“Let’s go somewhere open and cook this thing then,” He sighed.
“Just mushroom is plain.” Law leaned his head back and closed his eyes, breathing in the damp dungeon air. “We need more ingredients.” Then, his rounded and long ears perked up. There was a distinctive scuttling nose nearby.
“Oi, Zoro-ya, there’s a scorpion.” Law smirked.
“Heard ya, Traffy,” Zoro grinned and ran off with one sword drawn.
“Lost my appetite.” Usopp frowned. “Oi, Zoro! You’ll get lost!”
And so, the remaining three followed Zoro to the Adventurer’s Hall, located on the first floor of the dungeon. It was once where the catacombs of the nearby village were and connected to the dungeon proper 6 years ago, now it was filled with merchants and adventurers. A bustling stop for all who came to raid the dungeon.
The place was bright as always but Zoro paid no attention. Sure he got lost a lot but he didn’t this time, he did actually follow the sound of the scorpion scuttling.
But nevermind his sense of direction, he thought as he kneeled down near where the scorpion’s hole was. How was he going about hunting this thing?
Zoro thought for a moment, then the idea came to him. Growing up in the island village of Shimotsuki, in the Eastern Archipelago, he hunted crayfish with the kids at the dojo. Scorpions had pincers and so did crayfish. The principle must be the same.
And so it was. He wrapped his sword in cloth and pushed into where the scorpion was. Very quickly, he felt something grab on. Grinning, Zoro pulled the scorpion out and smashed its head.
Nearby, a blond-haired elf watched what happened and gasped in horror. He followed Zoro as he went to rejoin the others.
As Law waited for Zoro with the other two, he found his mind wandering a little. Monsters were sometimes rumoured to be surface creatures changed by dark magic, other times they were rumoured to be from the depths of Hell. Either way, they attacked without hesitation. Could they be protecting something?
His thoughts were interrupted by the voices of Nami and Usopp chastising Zoro, who had returned with a freshly caught scorpion. Though, its head was completely smashed in.
“So you caught it like crayfish?” Nami stared at the scorpion.
“Did you really have to smash its head?” Usopp frowned in disgust.
“Rock was the closest thing, too hard to get out my knife.” Zoro shrugged.
Law sighed. “Alright, how about we get cooking? Or does your party always waste so much time having meaningless conversations?”
“Oi.” Zoro grimaced at Law then teased, “I’m only doing this for practical reasons, but you seem a little too into eating monsters. Some kind of weird fantasy of yours?”
Law felt his face flush at Zoro’s words and cursed at his mind for thinking about how Luffy also had the same monster eating ideas as him. This was not the time to reminisce.
“...Saving Luffy-ya is the only thing on my mind,” Law managed to choke out those words without dying. He hated how red he probably looked as he took note of Zoro’s smirk.
“Sure it is, mate,” Usopp muttered, then he turned to Nami and whispered, “Freak?”
Nami nodded. “Freak.”
Law clutched his staff tightly. “Can’t believe I joined your party.” Then as Zoro began to take out their cookware, Law joined them for preparation.
Usopp was fine with gathering water, at least they weren’t at the step of actually eating the monsters yet. But he was getting seriously embarrassed by all the stares their party was getting for scooping the water from the fountain.
“We seriously have to cook here?” He questioned, placing the water filled saucepan onto the makeshift stove Nami and Zoro made.
Nami sighed, “We’re broke, there’s water right next to us.” Then she pulled at her hair. “Ugh all our money!!”
Usopp patted Nami on the shoulder, then he sat down and looked at Zoro and Law. “So, how are you guys planning on cooking this?”
The two men stared at their ingredients: a walking mushroom and a dungeon scorpion.
“Boil,” Zoro said with full chested conviction, then he took a knife and set the mushroom to cut.
“I’ll go prep the fire,” Law sighed. “Nami-ya, Nose-ya, mind getting firewood with me?”
Nami and Usopp shrugged and after a few minutes, they gathered the firewood they needed. Law, using his magic, set them alight. As the three of them worked to control the fire, they heard a rather loud grunt from Zoro.
“What’s going on?” Nami looked over.
“Cutting the mushroom sideways is harder than cutting vertically.” Zoro stared at his own knife. “Guess when you’re dealing with Walking Mushrooms, slash straight up and down instead of diagonally and sideways then.” Nami was amazed by how Zoro’s normally angry eyes became filled with childlike wonder when he’s in his element, in this case, fighting.
Nami picked up one of the mushroom slices Zoro had managed to cut. “Huh! It does look more like food now.”
Usopp stared at Nami as he held firewood. “No it doesn’t,” He said in disgust.
After chopping the mushroom into large diced cubes, Zoro dropped them into the boiling water and readied to put the scorpion in.
“Woah, hang on…you’re putting the entire thing in?” Nami frowned.
“Aren’t scorpions poisonous??” Usopp gulped.
Zoro hesitated briefly but then Law took the scorpion from his hands.
“The venom is quite mild, it won’t hurt us if we eat it,” He sighed as he dunked the entire thing into the pot. “Luffy-ya’s book says it’s safe to eat.” He pointed to the laid out book, much like how a chef referred to a recipe book.
“You sure?” Usopp frowned. “That book does not look trustworthy.”
Zoro grumbled and set the ladle down. “Here, I’ll prove it to you.” Then he tore off the tail with his bare hands and bit into it. At that exact moment, Zoro felt his bowels contract in protest and pain. Quickly, he kneeled on the ground and retched.
“Karma.” Nami tutted as she ran her hand across Zoro’s back.
“Ugh…” Zoro groaned and wiped his mouth. He grunted in anger. “I’m slicing that sucker up.”
Since no one wanted to deal with a pissed off Zoro, they watched as he readied both the knife and the scorpion to be sliced into sashimi. Or more accurately, Zoro’s victims as Nami and Usopp became acutely aware of what was going to happen to the poor scorpion.
It would not look like a scorpion after Zoro’s lovely bladework.
“Hands off that scorpion, Mosshead!”
The four of them turned their heads to see a beautiful, blond haired elf running in their direction. His hair which covered half his face was long and braided and he had a horned helmet. He wore armour atop a fur-lined dark blue tunic and some black trousers. Most distinctively, half of his left ear was missing and he had curly eyebrows.
“What the-”
The elf snatched the knife and the scorpion from Zoro’s hands and placed himself where Zoro was sitting, disregarding his personal space.
“Can’t believe this! If I weren’t mistaken, you were about to destroy this beautiful scorpion!” He yelled at Zoro. “You know what? You already did! Why is its head smashed in?”
Zoro stared at the elf, momentarily distracted by how blue his eyes were. “I- It was the quickest way!”
Law slapped himself in the face and muttered, “Roronoa-ya”, under his breath.
The blond elf stared at Zoro as if he had another set of horns. “You couldn’t have just stabbed its head?” He shivered then set his eyes back on the scorpion before him. Zoro glanced at Law, Nami and Usopp. A random elf had just appeared and was now taking over their cooking. Zoro looked at them for some kind of guidance, to which Law responded by motioning him to shut up. Zoro felt insulted.
“Honestly…” The blond elf muttered. “Anyway!” He smiled. “You four are making scorpion and mushroom hot pot, correct?”
“Yes…?” Nami hesitantly replied. The blond elf immediately lit up at the sight of her.
“Amazing choice, Miss! I will serve you the best dungeon hot pot you’ve ever tasted!” He was almost squealing in delight but coughed to regain composure. “...Better than what Mosshead here would've cooked.” He glanced at Zoro with a frown.
“ Temee- ” Zoro readied himself to curse at the elf in his native language. He couldn’t believe what was happening.
“To prepare the scorpion, cut off its pincers, head, legs and tail,” The elf began, doing exactly as he said. Zoro stopped to look at the elf’s knifework. It was immaculate, he cut with confidence, something Zoro admired.
“I overheard what you folks were saying about the tail. It is edible, but…it’ll give you the runs. Best to throw it out.”
Zoro and Law frowned. Guess Luffy’s guide missed some trivia.
“Next, you slice the sucker up by the segments so it heats evenly and the juices seep out.” The elf grinned. “You’ll get all the flavour this way and it’s easier to eat.”
The four of them stared at the now evenly cut up scorpion. Huh.
“Next, you pull out the innards, like so.” The elf put his hand through each segment and dragged out black, stringy innards. “It’s bitter and the texture’s all wrong, not suitable for eating.”
Then, the elf grabbed what’s left of their mushroom. “For the Walking Mushroom, skin it and lose the butt, but save the feet and throw ‘em in the pot.”
“The feet?” Law questioned. Whatever this elf was doing was fascinating, it was like he’s been cooking monsters for years.
“They’re delicious and have a unique fragrance,” he smiled. “Have a smell- Oh, an elf…Whatever, you’re hungry, so I’ll feed you.”
Law stared at him. He spoke with such disdain about elves yet he was one himself… However, he was cooking for them and seemed to pose no threat. Law sniffed the mushrooms offered to him by the cooking elf.
“Smells good?”
“Fascinating…” Law muttered.
Nami and Usopp merely stared at Law. Foot fetish?
The blond elf hummed and gathered all the cut ingredients. He frowned when he saw the pot the four had been using. “Too small…we’ll just use mine.” To everyone’s surprise, he pulled from behind him a giant, black wok style pot.
“You are oddly prepared…” Usopp observed.
The blond elf set his pot down on the stove and transferred all the ingredients in. Then he stared at it. “Little bland with just scorpion and mushroom…Oh!” As if stars struck him, the elf stood up and rushed to cut some of the vines growing on the cobble walls. He then scraped some algae and promptly returned to where the stove was.
“Add this,” He announced bluntly. Usopp stared at what he brought and wondered if this elf was joking.
“Okay now hold on a sec! You can’t put those in!” He shouted.
“Why not?” The elf tilted his head.
“I am not eating that!” Usopp crossed his arms across his chest as if it were an X. He then pointed behind him at the gravestones and coffins. “You see those! Those are corpses! I’ll eat a monster if I must but not plants from a graveyard!”
Usopp then rushed to grab the remaining slice of mushroom and stared up at the elf, shoving the mushroom at him. “Tell them this tastes fine on its own! Also, who the hell are you anyway?!”
“Oi Usopp, up!”
“ Up what?! ” Usopp turned to stare at Zoro. Then, he felt something gooey and cold drip onto his head. Very quickly, a green blob covered his face and Usopp felt like he was drowning.
A slime.
“Usopp!”
“Nose-ya!”
Usopp clawed at it desperately. He couldn’t breathe. Sharp pains stabbed at his chest.
“I’m going to blast the slime.” That was Traffy’s voice. Wait, don’t blast at my head!
“Don’t blast him!” Nami, you’re an angel. But I’m going to die here.
Not the first time though…Huh?
Through the green goo of the slime, Usopp saw a figure come towards him. It was the blond elf and with one stab of his knife, the slime fell off his face.
Usopp gasped for air and coughed.
“You okay?” Nami asked as she helped him up.
Usopp sniffled, “I think some went up my nose…” Then he sneezed. Sighing, Nami handed him a handkerchief.
Nearby, Law, Zoro and the blond elf stared at the remains of the slime. Law knelt down to prod at it with his fingers.
“So you can kill these with knives, huh?” Zoro said, amused.
“If you know where you’re stabbing, then yes,” The blond elf said as he scooped the slime from the floor and placed it into a different pot.
“Slime anatomy always fascinated me, but it is complicated when all you can see is a blob,” Law sighed. “In theory, it’s like if you turned a stomach inside-out and surrounded the head and organs with digestive fluid.”
“Mmhm,” hummed the blond elf. “They sense your breath and attack when you exhale. So if you throw a fit like the kid here,” he said, pointing to Usopp, “you’ll get slimed.”
Usopp stared at the elf, offended by the fact he got called a kid.
The blond elf ignored Usopp and sat down with the pot of slime. “Can’t eat these raw, so add hot water and a splash of citrus juice.” After adding those ingredients, the elf rubbed them in with hands. “Then, you can pat it dry or rub salt in it and sun-dry. After all that, you have one high quality ingredient. Starve it for two weeks if you can though, then dry it. It’ll taste so much better.”
The elf then pulled out another piece of equipment. “This is a portable slime dryer I made. Put the slime there and it’ll dry naturally as you walk around.” He put the slime he had just prepared into the dryer and set it aside. “It’ll be a bit until that one’s done…but, I do have a fully prepared one.” From somewhere in his bags, the elf pulled out a leaf bundle and unwrapped it to reveal a piece of neatly folded slime. It was white in colour with a gelatin sheen.
“We’ll add it to your pot!” The elf grinned as he began to chop the slime. “You don’t know how happy I am to find folks who love monster cuisine as much as I do!”
The four party members looked at each other, then Usopp and Nami looked at Law and Zoro.
Pretty sure it’s only Law who’s really into it.
“I’ve been studying the monsters in here and how to cook them for over 10 years now, you know?” The elf continued, still in his cooking bliss.
“10 years?” Nami repeated.
“Have the dungeon been around that long?” Usopp whispered, to which Nami shrugged.
Zoro noticed that the elf tensed when Usopp asked that question. It was unusual, but it was also rude to pry into someone’s business.
“Anyway,” The blond elf smiled, “everything will be ready in a bit. I’m sure you’re all starving.”
Then, like a dedicated blacksmith, the elf set off to work. Zoro watched as he chopped the ingredients efficiently as if practising swordsmanship, checking the fire as if forging and finally tasting the broth itself.
He knows his stuff, huh?
After around 10-15 minutes of boiling, the elf announced the hot pot ready and opened the pot lid. Steam rushed out and the smell of freshly cooked ingredients breezed everyone’s noses. Proudly, he named the dish “Giant Scorpion and Walking Mushroom Hot Pot”.
It was lunch time.
The elf served everyone present with a bowl of hot pot in the wooden cutlery they brought with them. Zoro, Law and Nami readied themselves to eat, but Usopp stared at what he was served.
“So scorpions turn red when boiled?” Zoro observed and poked at the scorpion slice with his chopsticks. “They really are like crayfish.”
“Looks way better than the one in Luffy’s guide,” Nami muttered, then she sniffed. “Okay it should not smell as good as it does.”
The blond elf giggled at that compliment. “You are most welcome, Miss! I’m so glad my cooking is up to your standards.”
Nami looked at him. He likes it when women compliment him, huh? I could use this…
“Cook it long enough and it shrinks, so you can pull the meat out easy,” the elf grinned and gestured.
Law plucked a piece of meat and promptly ate it. His eyes widened. It was fresh, flavourful and- “It’s really good.”
“Oh thank you- Why do you have to compliment me and not the beautiful dwarf lady?” The blond elf frowned. “Ugh, I hate elves.”
Law gripped at his chopsticks. “Oi Cook-ya, but in case you haven’t noticed, you’re an elf!”
“So?” The blond elf scoffed. “Whatever, glad it tastes good.”
“Preparation totally changes the flavour, huh,” Zoro commented. “Guess I underestimated you, Curly.”
“What- Underestimated- ” The blond elf seethed at Zoro but soon turned his attention to Usopp, who was not touching his bowl. “Hey, shitty kid, you better eat that bowl, I’m not about to have someone go hungry.”
Usopp grimaced and inched away from his bowl. “I am not eating monster. Nada!”
“Come on, Usopp~~” Nami said in a sing-song voice and grinned. “Didn’t you say you craved lobster earlier?”
“Yeah, and this does taste really good, ” Zoro added, equally grinning.
Law hummed and nodded, still very focused on savouring the dish.
Usopp looked at his fellow party members, then felt his own hunger slowly creep in…
“Fine! I’ll try it!”
He grabbed his bowl and chopsticks and dug in. The first thing he grabbed was something stringy. They were purplish in colour.
“What are these?” Usopp grimaced as he asked the blond elf.
“Slime innards,” he smiled.
Usopp groaned, but his hunger overwhelmed him and he quickly gulped down his bite. Flavour exploded on his taste buds.
“ ....So good! ”
And so, for the rest of the meal, each party member enjoyed it in their own ways and each became intrigued by what exactly did the blond elf use to cook this hot pot. As Nami learned, the vines were actually stems of an upside down plant and as Usopp learned…the algae was just plain algae, which did ruin his appetite a little. But regardless, it was some meal indeed.
“Now that we’re all properly fed,” The blond elf began, “how about introductions?”
Zoro snorted and teased, “Rich for you to say, you just barged in and made food for us. Some introduction, Curls.”
“Shitty Mosshead…” The blond elf’s face turned red and his ears flushed. “I’ll have you know my name is Sanji, it means ‘third son’ in Elvish.”
Zoro laughed and promptly began, “Zoro. The lady you keep flirting with is Nami, our navigator.”
Nami waved and Sanji promptly grinned in a silly manner.
“The grumpy elf with tattoos is Traffy, our mage.”
“The name is actually Trafalgar Law - ”
“Anyway. And finally there’s Usopp, our picklock. He’s a Half-Foot, not a kid.”
“Damn right!” Usopp huffed.
Zoro watched as Sanji glanced at the four of them with his non-covered eye. “So you four are on some mission then?” he said as he packed up the cookware.
There was a pause as everyone looked at each other uncomfortably.
“...Our party leader got eaten by the Red Dragon on the lower levels,” Zoro explained, holding his swords. “Gotta save him before he gets digested.”
Sanji gasped and his eyebrow drooped. “I’m…I’m so sorry, that’s awful.” He stared at his hands for a second. “The Red Dragon…”
“...What about it, Curls?” Zoro furrowed his brows.
“If it gives you any peace of mind…large monsters sleep a lot to conserve energy, so their-”
“Digestion will be on the slower side,” Law looked down as he finished the sentence. “I hope that hypothesis is correct or else…”
Sanji scoffed, “Don’t be pessimistic, Shitty Mage.”
“Excuse me?” Law raised an eyebrow. “Shitty Mage?”
“You heard me! If you’re all that suicidal to go down to the dungeon with no prep at all, then you all must be filled with some crazy faith! So, you will save that leader of yours because I’ll be damned if you don’t,” Sanji huffed and packed up the last of the cookware. “And I’ll be joining your party, so of course you’ll be fine!”
Everyone froze in their tracks. Sanji? Joining?
“You’re joining us?” Law questioned.
“Yep, because Mosshead here can’t cook for shit,” Sanji grinned.
“Oi!” Zoro protested.
This elf was suspicious, Law thought, a pure-blooded elf in a dungeon with vast amounts of monster knowledge… As much as he wanted to agonise over the oddness of Sanji and what that would mean, they were in no position to do so. Luffy was in danger and frankly, Law was not going to let that Tall-Man die.
He was too much of a wild-card.
“Your experiences will be useful, Sanji-ya, thank you.” To his own surprise, Law bowed his head as he said this. I could be sick.
The tip of Sanji’s remaining, non-mutilated ear turned red and he blushed. “I guess I’m honoured by that.”
Then he turned to walk deeper into the dungeon. “Red Dragon…Red Dragon…Oh I have had so many ideas for recipes! We could make steak and burgers, classic option. Ooh! Maybe shabu-shabu? Or Oyakodon, if we have enough eggs…”
The four party members stared at Sanji as he walked deeper into the dungeon, musing about his plans to cook the Red Dragon. There, they all wondered.
Was it really right to eat what ate one of them?
No one said anything as they followed the enthusiastic cook down into the depths. It is as they say: Dungeon food is to eat or be eaten. There is no hierarchy to any of it, only that eating is the privilege of the living.
Dungeon Food, ah…Dungeon Food.
Notes:
Races
Zoro: Half-Ogre, Half Tall-Man
Luffy: Tall-Man
Nami: Dwarf
Usopp: Half-Foot
Chopper: Deer beast-man (tall-man)
Robin: Gnome
Sanji: ElfLaw: Half Elf, Half Tall-Man
Shachi: Dwarf
Bepo: Polar bear beast-man (gnome)
Penguin: Gnome
Chapter Text
Squelch…squelch…
Luffy felt as if drifting like a leaf. His body felt…heavy and his eyes stung. When he opened his eyes, all he could see was pitch black.
Where was he?
Not willing to think, he took it upon himself to walk around. It was an empty void, and yet he could walk as if there was ground.
I hope everyone’s okay, he thought as he wandered. Wait…where is everyone?
Remarkably, the answer did come to Luffy and he blinked.
Right. The dragon ate me.
Though remorseful for a moment, Luffy quickly reassured himself. He trusted everyone in his party and everyone in Traffy’s party. They were strong. He’d be rescued in no time.
I wonder how they’re doing?
“Thinking about your friends, are you?”
A voice cut through the darkness. It was smooth.
“Who-”
“You are slow,” The voice laughed. “Come hither.”
As if the space itself was under its command, Luffy felt himself being pulled towards the voice. He had opened his mouth to protest but no sound could come out of his mouth. As he went, he could see a white dot get bigger and bigger until eventually…
There was a giant, white and winged lion before him. It was a magnificent creature with a cloud-like mane and glowing red eyes. And like a child with a new toy, it grabbed Luffy’s arm and held him up with one of its front paws.
“My, my…You’re the one closest to killing Joy-boy?” The lion asked, its red eyes glinting. Then it chuckled, “Didn’t actually think you’d sacrifice yourself like that.”
Luffy wriggled in the lion’s grasp and gritted his teeth. “Put me down! Who the heck are you anyway?!”
The lion laughed, its white teeth shone like moonlight. “You are the most promising of them all! I really like you.”
“Oi Lion! I said, put me down!” Luffy shouted, snapping his teeth.
The lion tilted its head and rolled its eyes. “Fiiiine.” Then, unceremoniously, Luffy was dropped to the ground.
“You really do care about your companions…don’t you?” The lion said, leaning into its paw.
“Of course I do! You didn’t do anything to them, did you?”
The lion blinked and gasped. “How rude! You are the most entertaining bunch! How you love and care, how you freely do so, how you love without care even!”
Luffy didn’t understand a word the lion said, but something about it seemed…off.
The lion looked down at Luffy, its mane filling the empty space like sunrays do at sunrise and sunset.
“Your journey is yet to be done, but you must be weary.”
Luffy felt the space around them warp.
“So sleep for now, dear adventurer…for we’ll meet again…soon.”
Close your eyes.
A wave of drowsiness overwhelmed Luffy and he felt himself fall…and fall…and…
To the sounds of squelching flesh, he drifted into sleep.
We’ll meet again.
(Meanwhile, the Dungeon…)
After that delicious hot pot lunch, the Luffy Rescue Party (as coined by Usopp) journeyed onwards to the second floor with their newest member, Sanji the cooking elf.
It was none of their first time on the second floor, yet the sight of it fascinated each of them every time. For even without surface sunlight, a forest grew on the second floor. As the party walked on the wooden bridges between the trees, they listened to the tweeting birds and took in the majesty of the tall vistas among the woods. The tallest of which was said to be the highest tower of the Great Castle.
While it was lovely and a nice change from the musty catacombs of the first floor, the main route was difficult to walk; Usopp attested to this when a branch smacked him in the face. Nami had her head looking at her compass.
Usopp craned his neck to look at the trees. His eyes wide at the sight of dappled sunlight and trees that stretched upwards beyond his field of vision.
“I’ve always wondered…” Usopp said then pointed up. “How come the trees don’t poke out to the surface?”
“It’s probably the curse on this place,” Zoro yawned. “Man, I need a n-”
Then there was some swearing and a thud. Zoro and Usopp turned around to see Law on the ground, rubbing at his left knee.
“Shit,” He cursed and helped himself up with his staff.
“Didn’t peg you as clumsy, doctor,” Zoro let out a chuckle. Law glared at him. He was typically so well put together, yet here he was, on the ground. “You alright though?”
Law grumbled and flipped one of his plaits behind him, “Tripped on a plank.”
Close behind him, Nami huffed and stretched her arms. “We’ve been walking for a while now. So how about we set up camp soon and get some sleep?”
Law immediately stood up. “We can’t waste time,” He said, gripping his staff a bit too tightly as Zoro, Nami and Usopp noticed. “Luffy-ya n-”
“Luffy wouldn’t want you to push yourself like this, Law,” Zoro said, his arms crossed. The use of his actual name instead of the typical nickname surprised Law and his eyes widened.
Law opened his mouth to argue back, but nothing came out. He felt Zoro’s intense gaze on him. He was right of course, Luffy would scold him for skipping sleep, skipping meals…
“Fine.”
And so, following Nami, they set out to find a place to camp.
“Remember when we spent a night in one of the hollowed-out trees?” Nami smiled as she glanced around.
Usopp laughed, “Yeah I do, it’s like I was a kid again.”
“Shachi made pork soup and burnt himself terribly,” Law added, trying his best to suppress his grin, which did fail and he instead laughed softly.
“Soup huh…” Nami felt her stomach grumble.
“I’ve still got the scorpion broth from lunch, Miss Nami!” Sanji beamed as he held up the waterskin containing it. “I can-”
“Nope, not feeling it,” Nami glanced away. Rejected, Sanji sniffled his tears away and put the waterskin back in his pack. Zoro scoffed at this quietly. Sanji shot him a look.
Scratching at his stubby horns, Zoro sighed, “Right, let’s go hunting for a dinner-worthy monster.”
Usopp gagged a little at this. Sure, they had dungeon scorpion for lunch, but he still wasn’t used to eating the things that normally tried to kill them all on sight. He sighed and clutched onto the straps of his backpack.
Zoro looked at his grumbling Half-foot friend. “What do you wanna eat, Usopp?”
“Huh?” Usopp and Nami stared at him as if he grew two heads. “Seriously?”
Law tutted his tongue and looked at the three of them. “We can try and fulfill your requests.”
Both Usopp and Nami felt disbelief when they heard Law say that, partially because he always seemed very uncompromising and scary, but right now, it was mostly because…
“...You still mean eating monsters, right?” Usopp crossed his arms and stared at Zoro and Law, unimpressed. The elf shrugged and Zoro looked away, seemingly in some kind of shame.
“As long as it’s edible…” Nami let out a long sigh. “Fine, hit me.”
She watched as Zoro dug around the inside of his weird neck protection on his breastplate. From it, he produced Luffy’s Monster Guide. Over his shoulder, Law glanced at its pages.
“Big bats…Giant rats?” Zoro read aloud and listed. Both Nami and Usopp recoiled in disgust.
“Absolutely not.” Nami crossed her arms.
“That’s so unhygienic!” Usopp put his hands up.
Law furrowed his brows. “...Forest goblins?”
At that moment, Nami really wanted to punch the elf in the head.
“NO! No demi-humans!”
Zoro raised an eyebrow as he read another page. “Living Armour?”
“...Metal?” Usopp said, fidgeting with his fingers. “Aren’t there anything more…you know…normal?”
Law made a face and wrinkled his nose. He huffed and pulled at one of his twin plaits. “Of course you two are the type to say anything’s fine but nit-pick at every option.” He ran his fingers through the short, shaggier part of his hair. “Typical.”
“What do you know?!” Nami scoffed. “I swear, if I still used magic, I would’ve blasted you with lightning so fast right now.”
It was an off-handed comment but it caught Law’s attention.
“You did magic, Nami-ya?” He tilted his head.
Nami sighed, “Couple years ago. It made me sick, so I stopped. Anyway! I don’t think me and Usopp are being that picky.”
To that, Zoro responded with a blank stare, then he leaned his head back.
“Aren’t there anything like birds or fruits?” Usopp asked, his tone practically begging Law and Zoro.
The taller ones looked at each other then closed their eyes to think.
“I mean yeah, but we’ll need to set traps and wait,” Zoro explained. “And I’m not patient enough for that.”
“Right,” Nami said, brushing her bushy ginger hair with her fingers.
“Ducks don’t just carry leeks with them, Nami-ya,” Law sighed then his golden eyes glinted with focus. “But this is a dungeon, so there could be monster ducks with man-eating leeks.”
Usopp wanted to skin his scalp. “How can you be this optimistic??”
As he and Nami were about to lament over their plight, Sanji snapped his fingers and beamed. “Pay those idiots no mind, there are lots of fruits and plants this time of year!”
“Oi!”
“Who are you calling dumb, Cook-ya!”
Usopp and Nami held each other’s hands. “Really?”
Sanji smiled at them and gave a thumbs up. Usopp and Nami looked at each other.
Finally! We’re saved from the tall ones!
Whatever gratitude they had towards Sanji did not last. As before them, right now, were the most terrifying specimens of plants Nami and Usopp had ever witnessed.
Firstly, they were all huge, and secondly, they all had teeth of some kind. Slime dripped off some of them and many had long, tentacle-like vines.
“I KNEW IT! A man eating plant fruit!” Nami screeched, pointing at the plants as if they wronged her.
Law looked at the plants with fascination. For a moment, he disregarded his surroundings and just accepted the sheer interest he tried hard to suppress over the years. “Actually, ‘man-eating’ is the colloquial term for these,” He began calmly and then pointed at a large white flower. “That flower over there is the ‘Baraselia’. It grows along the animal paths and emits a sticky substance like spider-silk. When an animal touches it, the plant pulls it close on reflex and ensnares the animal. Doesn’t digest them, but it acts as compost for the plant. Pretty amazing.”
“…It doesn’t target people and it doesn’t eat them either,” Law sighed, hoping that last tidbit could reassure his current companions. Sure he thought they were being dramatic, but he was also going to be travelling with them for significant periods of time and they were Luffy’s friends. He felt some kind of responsibility towards them.
Nami, Usopp and Zoro looked at him blankly. Sanji appeared to be in his own world.
Law paused, then added, “If you go back far enough, all vegetables are made of animal faeces and corpses.”
“And I’m not complaining about that!” Nami snapped. To that, Law closed his eyes and sighed.
Zoro leaned down a little to talk to her. “We’re still just two floors down, so if there are dead bodies, people notice them fast. They’ll check the plants first thing.”
(Author interjection for those unfamiliar with Dungeon Meshi: There are corpse retrievers in the world of Dunmeshi and resurrection magic is a thing. More detail on this in later chapters.)
Usopp looked down at his leather shoes. He didn’t know how reassured he was by Zoro’s words.
“It’s different down in the depths, but no one’ll become monster food here,” Zoro grinned, his canines showing.
Nami smiled back at him. Maybe it was alright afterall…to an extent that is.
She turned her attention to Law and Sanji, who were now focusing their efforts on the plants before them. They seemed to be discussing something.
“...One at the root there, and there’s two over there,” Sanji said, pointing. Law nodded along.
“What are you two doing?” Nami asked, her hands on her hips.
Sanji immediately smiled. “Oh, Miss Nami! We’re looking for ripe fruits to make you a delectable dinner!”
“Yellow one’s not ripe then,” Law chimed in. Then, he gripped his staff and swished his other arm back. “Right, I’ll just blast them all at once.”
And so, he began chanting.
“Sperae Yeptum Rufermus…Alamandras Proju…”
Nami has seen Law use his magic many times when their alliance was whole. The way mana surged around him as he prepared a spell was both terrifying and exhilarating. It was a feeling she did remember for herself, though it was always quickly replaced by the dreadful nausea of mana sickness. It was the reason she dropped magic afterall.
“Nexant Aslam-”
“Don’t do that, Shitty Elf!” Sanji yelled.
Law stopped chanting and snapped back, “What?”
“You planning on blasting all the fruit away too?!”
Nami saw the plant open its mouth (can it be a mouth?) and roar. Its vine-like arms shot out at the three of them. Nami readied her club but felt something grab her leg. Before she knew it, she was right in the grasps of this monster plant.
“AUGHH!” She screamed as she surged through the air. A wave of nausea flooded over her. As a dwarf, she was prone to motion sickness, no thanks to those sensitive inner ears of hers.
“Nami!” Zoro yelled.
Law’s ears perked up and his eyes widened. “Damnit.” He tightened his grip on his staff. “I’m going to blast it!”
Quickly, he began charging up the same spell. The red, heart shaped jewel of his staff started to glow, held by black woody vines growing from the crescent shaped staff top. Wind started to whoosh around him.
“Absolutely not!” Sanji slapped Law’s hand, breaking the chant. “You only take what you’ll eat, idiot!”
“Do you want me to save Nami-ya or not?!”
Nami might be the one to kill Law soon if the plant doesn’t kill her first. Then, terrifyingly, the vines began to squeeze her tighter. A wave of panic shivered through Nami and she screamed.
“JUST GET ME OUT! Law, I swear I will-” Before she could curse Law’s bloodline and back in Dwarvish, Nami felt her back hit something. It was a pitcher plant and from it, she saw the corpse of a previous adventurer. His skin now shrivelled and gaunt.
Truly, Nami felt her soul was going to leave her body. And no dungeon resurrection cleric would be able to bring her back.
“What do you mean it can’t digest things?!” Usopp screeched at the sight of the corpse. “It totally just ate that guy!”
“I mean some can but not all-” Law had begun but Zoro quickly cut him off with a growl.
“Quit yapping! Tell me where to cut!”
Law clicked his tongue. “The root!”
Zoro unsheathed the Wado Ichimonji and charged towards the plant. After throwing a pebble next to him, Law charged up his easiest teleportation spell and held up two fingers.
“Shambles.”
Nami felt herself land on hard wood. The drawbridge wobbled beneath her and she clutched her ears in pain. Simultaneously, there were the thuds of many vines. Through the haze of her nausea, Nami looked up to see Zoro sheathing his sword and Law glancing away from her.
“I’m gonna kill you, Traffy…” Nami gagged, before leaning over and puking. Teleportation magic was the worst.
Law looked at Nami. Admittedly, he did feel guilty. He joined Luffy’s party and yet he couldn’t even focus on helping the Tall-man’s party members. Luffy took care of Bepo, Shachi and Penguin well, yet he hasn’t done the same to Nami, Usopp and Zoro.
“...I’m sorry, Nami-ya,” Law said as he bent down and ran his hand over Nami’s back, trying to make her feel less nauseous. “Feeling any better yet?”
“Didn’t know you could apologise,” Nami grumbled. Then she wiped her mouth and stood up, accepting Law’s hand for stability and smiled. “I can walk now, thanks.”
It could have been a trick of her mind, but Nami swore she saw Law smile back a little.
“Oi, Traffy!” Zoro stomped as he walked towards them. He pointed a finger firmly at Law. “Can’t believe I’m the one telling you this but can you focus? It’s dangerous out here and I’m not about to have people get hurt again.”
Law blinked and looked at the still slightly nauseous Nami. “I- Well the Shadowtail, the plant that got Nami-ya is not actually lethal. It’s parasitic and plants seeds in the skin of its victims. It holds its prey tightly enough to not kill it but not without it escaping. Technically, there was no real danger-”
Zoro and Nami stared at him. It was clear from their faces that they did not appreciate whatever Law was saying.
“Dude.”
Law looked away from the two of them and joined Sanji and Usopp in fruit picking. They were both looking at him with the same disapproval.
“....That was pushing it,” Usopp commented as he picked a red fruit.
Law sighed. He has been told multiple times that he lacked social tact and his face was permanently grumpy. Was it really his issue that his default expression was always a grumble?
Sanji shook his head in disappointment. “Just keep picking, Shitty Mage.”
And so, Law resigned unwillingly to picking fruit as he pondered his place in this party.
After they gathered the fruits they needed, the party found themselves a nice empty tree hollow and began to set up camp. As Zoro gently placed down all the fruits, Sanji took it upon himself to ready a fire for cooking them. Usopp looked at the fruits with fascination, while Law tended to Nami’s nausea, feeding her some self-made medicinal pills to boost her strength. The two of them also made sure to wipe down Nami’s arms and legs to get rid of any seeds that could have been embedded in her by the plant.
“How are you feeling?” Law asked tentatively as he watched Nami drink the anti-nausea potion he made. He had many in his pack as backup, since Shachi was also a dwarf and like Nami, he has bad motion sickness.
Nami drank the potion with gusto and wiped her mouth. “Lot better, thanks.” Then her stomach grumbled. “I’m so starved…”
Smoke began to rise from the fire Sanji was preparing and Usopp hacked. Once the fire was ready, Sanji placed his giant pot on it and poured some water in. Zoro and Usopp gathered near him to watch as well as to help with the process.
“First, we lightly steam,” Sanji said as he placed the red fruits they picked into the pot and closed the lid. After a minute or two, he took the lid off and removed the fruits. Then came Zoro’s favourite part, cutting the fruits.
With precision, Sanji began to remove the stems by cutting around them. “Give them a twist and pull, the seeds’ll come right out.”
Law looked at the seeds with curiosity. Nami looked at them with vengeance.
It was then Sanji noticed how closely Zoro was watching him as he finished preparing the ripe fruits. Amused, Sanji smiled, “You want to cut the unripe fruits for me, Moss?”
Zoro blinked and the tips of his ears turned a little red. “...Sure.”
He took a knife from Sanji and tentatively cutted. The cook grimaced a little at his knifework, before taking Zoro’s hands and showing him how to cut the fruits. Zoro grumbled at him a little, but he did respect Sanji’s work and so followed what the expert did.
After sorting out Zoro, Sanji took out his rolling pin. “Now, you peel the skin off and pound it until it’s nice and soft.” After pounding, he took a frying pan and lined the bottom of it with the now flattened skin. Then he set it aside.
“After lining, give the unripe fruit a good mashing.” Sanji took a saucepan and looked at the cut, unripe fruits. “You’ve cut them well, Moss!” He complimented, then added them into the saucepan. “Guess sword-fighting translates well to cutting fruits.”
Zoro crossed his arms and hummed. “Of course it does.”
Sanji chuckled, then he continued with making dinner. “Add a dash of slime and scorpion broth, then mix until good and thick!”
“Once you reach a smooth consistency, add in the rest of the broth, then add in the rest of the fruit.” Sanji looked at how the filling dripped down his rolling pin and smiled in approval. “Mix it up a little and pour it into the frying pan.”
Now fully ready, Sanji took the frying pan and placed it on top of the fire to cook. Meanwhile, Nami and Usopp wrestled with Law for the seeds of the Shadowtail. Zoro watched and snickered at the sight. Law was so much taller than the two of them.
“Traffy, no!” Nami scolded and reached up. While short, she was far stronger than Law and so held him firmly in place.
“I just want to see if I can grow this on the surface, it’ll be good for research!” Law shouted. “Oi, get off my leg, Nose-ya!”
“That’s a stupid idea!” Usopp huffed, before quickly jumping up and snatching the seeds from Law’s hands. He ran towards the fire and tossed them in. Law immediately stopped fighting Nami and stared at the now being roasted seeds, distraught.
Sanji watched as Usopp destroyed Law’s potential research and continued with cooking. “...And when you see it bubbling like that, add in the rest of the fruits.” Finally, Sanji took some of his spice mix and sprinkled it onto the dish. He smiled, “Perfect.”
Then Sanji lifted the pan and placed it on a tea-towel Zoro found amidst the various cooking utensils.
“It’s ready! I present, Man-Eating Plant Tart!”
Zoro, Law, Nami and Usopp all stared at the newly made dish. It smelled soft and fresh. The fruits on top glistened with condensation and the filling jiggled as Sanji cut slices for everyone.
“A tart?” Usopp took a serving from Sanji’s hand.
“It looks like one, but it’s not,” Sanji explained as he continued to hand out the slices. “The crust just keeps it from burning. Don’t eat that part- Seriously, Moss?”
Zoro spat out the piece of “crust” that he tried to chew. Sanji rolled his eyes and sat down with his own slice.
Usopp dug his spoon into the dish and took a bite. “It’s real salty! Thought it’d be more sweet.”
“Yeah, it’s good though,” Law said after swallowing a couple of bites. Zoro said nothing and just ate like tigers and wolves. He felt hunger a bit more strongly than the rest, thanks to the ogre side of his heritage.
Nami prodded at her slice and made a face. The thing that made this dinner was just strangling her before…
“Pretty sure you’d like this, Nami,” Zoro said as he chewed. “It’s kind of like those tangerine dishes you’ve made us.”
Usopp nodded. “Yeah, it’s like a quiche.”
Nami grumbled, “How are you so excited about this, Usopp?”
Her Half-foot friend took another bite of his slice and smiled softly. “Those plants were scary, yeah, but I do still like gardening and botany. Tarts and quiches are also some of my favourite foods. My mum used to make a real mean spinach one.”
Nami blinked, then looked at her slice again. Maybe eating the plant was a way to get back at it. She dug her spoon in and took a bite.
Woah.
Salty broth hit her tongue and the filling was incredibly creamy and smooth. The fruits were varied in texture and filled her mouth with crunch and softness.
“This is amazing!” She gasped, before taking more bites. Sanji practically shot up in joy when he saw this reaction.
“I’m so glad!” He cried out. Zoro rolled his eyes at him but his small smile indicated otherwise.
“The fertiliser-type fruit is juicy and sweet, while the digesting-type fruit is savoury!” Nami marvelled then held up one of the fruits. “I bet the animals love them too. It must be hard for the plant to make enough though. What’s the point if it’s just gonna get eaten?”
Law smiled softly, “Well, it is a carnivorous plant. So it makes fruit to attract the animals it eats to survive.”
“That makes sense,” Nami nodded and looked at her slice. “Then being delicious is part of the plant’s strategy. That is very clever of them-”
Nami cut herself off when she saw how Law stared at her with stars in his eyes.
“Now you see the appeal, Nami-ya,” He smirked. “Monsters are highly interesting as a field of study.”
Nami grimaced, disturbed by her own fascination and Law’s knowledge. “As if!”
And so, the team ate their meal in laughter and sarcasm. Once finished, they helped Sanji tidy up the utensils and began to prepare for sleep. But there was one more thing to do.
Zoro, Nami and Usopp stared at the corpse that fell out of the pitcher plant.
“So, what do we do about him?” Usopp asked, his lips pursed.
“We’ll lose time dragging him back up to town,” Nami sighed. “Traffy, you think you could resurrect him?”
Law looked up from his grimoire. “I wouldn’t risk it, it could backfire.”
Zoro thought for a moment. “He’ll get picked up eventually if we leave him somewhere where people could see him.”
The three of them nodded. Then after gathering a rope, they set out on their mission, tying it around the corpse and heaving it over a high tree branch. It dangled and slumped.
As they stared at their handiwork, a particular image appeared in Zoro, Nami and Usopp’s minds.
“...Kind of looks like the gallows, doesn’t it?” Usopp winced.
That night, as they slept, Nami had a nightmare. As she twisted and turned in her sleeping bag, Zoro looked out at the hanging corpse. At least he had some company for night watch.
(The next day...)
“Hi, mum! I’m home!” Nami beamed as she entered the cottage’s kitchen. The faint smell of tangerines mixing with the steam of fresh cooking. She sniffed, then turned her attention to the stove where her mother was standing. “It smells amazing! Whatcha cooking there?”
Her mother, Bell-Mere, turned around and chuckled. A white apron tied around her muscular waist and her red mohawk hastily brushed. “It’s your birthday, remember? And I made all your favourite recipes!”
Nami gasped, “Really? You made them all?”
Bell-Mere smiled, “Every single one! I whipped up all your favourites-”
Nami leaned over in excitement, her mouth already watering-
“-Fresh from the bowels of the dungeon!”
Nami screamed and hastily sat up from her sleeping bag. She panted heavily and pulled at her hair. Usopp lurched and nearly tripped when he heard Nami. Zoro and Law stared at her.
“Are you alright, Miss Nami?” Sanji rushed towards her with a handkerchief to wipe her sweat.
“Guten Morgen, Nami-ya,” Law yawned.
Nami shuddered and let out a long sigh. “I had a nightmare…” Then, a salty, fatty smell began to fill her nostrils. She sniffed and lurched again. “That’s what I smelled in my nightmares! You smell that too, Usopp?”
“Yeah…” Usopp said dreamily as he leaned over the entrance of the hollow. “The party across the way’s there making breakfast.”
Nami stumbled over to look. There really was another party. A total of 5, consisting of an elf, two Tall-men, a gnome and a Half-foot. Lo and behold, they were-
“They’re cooking salted pork on buns?!” Nami cried. “That’s not fair!”
“I know!” Usopp agreed.
Zoro rubbed at his belly. “I am really missing some good old ham…”
The three of them drooled as they stared. Watching this, Sanji huffed.
“It’s horrible!” He scoffed. “It breaks my poor heart to see this.”
Nami, Usopp and Zoro turned to look at him. “Huh?”
Sanji pouted and sighed. “The diet of young adventurers these days is an absolute travesty! They only eat bread, dried meats and wine!”
“Bread does suck,” Law grumbled, earning a few looks from the other three.
Sanji continued with his rant. “I get it! Exploring a dungeon takes stamina which you build by eating fatty meat.” He stomped his foot. “But that isn’t enough! Malnutrition is the real monster! Just adding some veg or fruit would do wonders but young adventurers don’t know that.”
He sighed again as he sat down to prepare breakfast using yesterday’s leftovers. “Awful, just awful. Just filling the stomach isn’t enough.”
“Nutrition is the first measure one can take towards good health,” Law chimed in. “And the simplest.”
“Exactly!” Sanji pointed at Law, then grumbled at the sight of him. “And somehow it’s only the shitty elf mage who gets it.”
Law chose not to continue questioning why Sanji had a vendetta against elves.
“And I feel like such a hypocrite right now because we have yet to eat a balanced meal ourselves,” Sanji sulked then looked at Usopp, Nami and Zoro. “Miss Nami, little boy and Moss, you guys know why you’re drooling over that pork yonder?”
“...Because I don’t want to eat monster?” Usopp stared at him, grumbling as they all ate breakfast. “Also I’m not a-”
“It’s because your body is craving fat!” Sanji snapped, then he stood up. “So, we’ll hunt a monster that’s rich in fat today.”
And so, once breakfast was finished and everyone sorted their businesses, the party readied to continue their journey. Sanji continued with his nutrition talk.
“-It’d be great if we also found something that laid eggs too,” He said as they walked across the drawbridge. “Eggs are filling, nutritious. They are the perfect food. So if you find eggs, grab them.”
A realisation dawned upon Law at that moment and he leaned down a little to whisper into Sanji’s ear. “Cook-ya, you thinking what I’m thinking?”
“Don’t get too close.” Sanji swatted Law away and then smirked a little. “Yes, I am thinking what you’re thinking.”
“Just spit it out,” Nami scowled.
Law cleared his throat. “The body of a chicken…the head of a snake…lethal fangs and spurs loaded with venom…Basilisk, the king of snakes!”
He held his hands up and his eyes glittered with excitement. Zoro, Usopp and Nami were almost reminded of how Luffy was with monsters.
“...Right, a basilisk,” Usopp grumbled.
Zoro leaned towards Usopp and Nami. “Ain’t that great, you two? You get to eat chicken meat!” Then he laughed with his entire chest.
Nami kicked him in the shin and whined, “Is it though? Can you even call it a chicken if it’s half chicken?!”
Zoro winced and rubbed at his shin. “I dunno!”
Law drifted into thought, seemingly unaware that he’s speaking aloud. “They are truly amazing. Multi-species monsters are always so…fun. Even to just research and analyse. I mean just their anatomy alone! And with just two distinct species, they highlight each other’s charms.”
He continued on, ignoring the disturbed faces of his companions (bar Sanji). “Basilisks show us the brilliances of the domestic chicken, even if most of us see them as poultry. A simple combination, but profound philosophically and biologically.”
“The cockatrice is another snake-tailed species but they live deeper down. I do wonder how does their flavour differ from a basilisk? Perhaps a comparative taste test…”
Zoro, Usopp and Nami stared at him. “You’ve got some weird ambitions, Traffy,” Nami sighed.
Law rolled his eyes. Then, the party went on the hunt for basilisks.
Following Sanji, they made their way to a vista. This particular one had a hole in its body and thick, moss covered trees grew through it.
“There should be a basilisk nest down there,” He said, pointing. Then he leapt down onto the thick tree branch below. The rest of the party followed. As they walked across, Sanji advised, “Basilisks lay eggs every two to three days, just like chickens. Take care not to step on any.”
The party looked around their vicinity for any signs of nests. Before long, Sanji called for everyone’s attention.
“And bingo, there’s some!” He pointed down at a nest located just within the vista ruin. Then everyone followed as he jumped down.
Sanji crouched down and inspected the dried grass nest filled with oval, basilisk eggs. “These look newly laid. Let’s steal them before the folks get back.”
And so began Operation Egg. Zoro gently handed one to Nami, who cringed a little at the texture.
“Are they supposed to be this long and squishy?” Nami frowned. Before Law could answer with some monster facts, a loud and shrill cry interrupted our egg thieves.
“Shit!” Zoro cursed.
“The cry of the basilisk…” Law whispered.
“Come on, Curly.” Zoro stood up and put his hand on his sword.
“Hold on, let me wrap these in cloth,” Sanji said, quickly wrapping the eggs. Then he got up and the party made a beeline to hide behind some bushes.
The shrill cry of the basilisk got louder as our party looked up to see a large chicken with a menacing snake tail chasing after two unfortunate adventurers.
“Hey it’s the party from earlier!” Usopp said, his eyes wide.
It was indeed. The basilisk screeched after them: an elf woman with curly hair holding a magic staff and a tall-man who wore a white mask that had a crude smile painted on it (the other three seemed to be dead). Their eyes wide with panic and their legs running with all their might.
The tall-man screamed as the basilisk kicked him with its sharp talons and spurs. He fell down on his knees as the elf woman leaned on the nearby tree growth. The menacing creature readied itself to attack them again.
“Tch.” Law clicked his tongue. “That’s the worst way to run from them, it’s just asking for them to kick you in the back.”
“Quit being heartless and go help them already!” Nami yelled, smacking Law in the face. Law winced in pain and rubbed at his cheek. Rolling his eyes, he turned to Zoro.
“Make yourself look scary and loud, Zoro-ya,” Law said calmly and quickly placed down a pebble next to Zoro. “Raise your arms and wave them.”
“Wait wh-”
“And Shambles.”
At an instant, Zoro found himself face to face with the basilisk. The two adventurers had been swapped out. Luckily, he did remember what Law told him. Regardless, he still would be giving Law a piece of his mind later.
“AHHHH!” Zoro roared and waved his arms around. To his surprise, the basilisk froze in some kind of shock. From the corner of his eye, he saw Sanji give him a nod. Zoro understood him immediately.
“Nice, Zoro!” Sanji yelled as he ran in front of the basilisk’s snake half. He jumped into the air and right as he landed a direct kick onto the snake’s head. Zoro unsheathed Wado and Yubashiri, swiftly slicing off its chicken head.
So it gets confused when you attack from both directions…Luffy’s two brains, one body explanation was right then.
Zoro panted as he sheathed his swords. He looked at the spoils of their efforts with Sanji, then they looked at each other.
“You’re a pretty good fighter, Curls,” Zoro grinned.
Sanji flicked his braid back and smirked. “Well, I gotta be if I cook monsters.”
The two then laughed together before realising there were still the two adventurers that they just rescued.
“How is his wound?” Zoro asked. Sanji, for the moment, busied himself with draining the basilisk’s blood, though not before giving the elf woman a smile, which she did not notice.
Law was inspecting the masked tall-man, who was now maskless, revealing the burn scars across half his face. Momentarily, Zoro had wanted to settle things with Law regarding that swapping stunt, but the sight of the two adventurers pained him.
“I’ve healed the wound, but he still did get hit by a venomous spur,” Law sighed. “A recovery spell won’t get rid of the poison.”
The elf woman near them sobbed and held the tall-man’s hand. Law furrowed his eyebrows and his eyes softened as he looked at Zoro. “I did have an antidote but it must’ve gotten lost on the sixth floor when I used that return spell…” Law turned to the woman. “I’m sorry.”
The elf woman’s brown eyes began to fill with tears. However, her impending sobs were interrupted by the sound of Usopp’s voice.
“Sanji’s got the antidote!”
Law stood up, his eyes wide. “Really? Tell him to bring it here.”
Usopp looked away from Law.
“What?”
“...He’s planning on cooking with it.”
“What?!” Law stood up at once and rushed towards where Sanji was. “What do you mean you’re cooking with it? A man is dying!” Law rubbed at the spot between his eyebrows. “Just give it, Sanji-ya.”
“It’ll absorb better and taste better when cooked!” Sanji huffed, taking down the now drained basilisk. “And it’s far too early for lunch-”
“Just get cooking!” Nami barked, shocking the elf woman, whom she was comforting.
At Nami’s command, Sanji immediately began to prepare the basilisk, cutting off its tail and its legs. Then he placed it in his pot and scalded it with hot water. “Alright, idiots and Miss Nami,” He ordered. “Let’s get plucking.”
Thanks to the team effort, the basilisk’s chicken body was quickly stripped of all its plumage. Then, Sanji dropped it onto his chopping board and began to cut.
“It really does look like a chicken now,” Zoro commented.
“Take out the innards, rub in the spices…” Sanji muttered. “Ideally we should let it sit overnight to marinate-”
“We need to roast it now!” Usopp cried. Law and Nami firmly nodded as they held the poisoned tall-man.
“Okay, okay! I’ll get the stuffing ready!” Sanji snapped, grabbing more ingredients from his pack. Law noticed that they were various medicinal herbs: de-petrification, mana, de-paralysis, burn, antitoxin…
“Looks like a real healthy meal,” Law said as he watched Sanji chop the herbs.
“Like I said, you can’t just eat meat,” Sanji huffed. Then he took the freshly minced herbs to the basilisk body and stuffed it, before tying up the cut with some string. Sanji glanced briefly at the other ingredients at his disposal. He wanted to make soup with the tail and some smoked eggs and meat, but that’d have to wait.
“Apologies, Miss Nami, may I borrow your club?” Sanji asked, holding the basilisk with one hand.
Nami nodded and handed it to him. Sanji quickly cleaned and disinfected it, then he skewered the chicken with it. He gave Zoro a small smile when he saw that he’d set up a fire and crutches to hold the skewer. Placing the basilisk on the crutches, Sanji began roasting.
“How is he?” Zoro asked as he returned to Law and the others with the tall-man.
Law clicked his tongue again and breathed in to calm himself. “He had a fever not long ago but he’s getting colder.”
Zoro nodded. “Let’s get him near the fire.”
After wrapping the tall-man in some blankets, Law and Zoro gently carried him to where Sanji was roasting the basilisk. The skin of it crackled and browned.
“....Something smells amazing,” The tall-man mumbled, his breath weak.
“Doesn’t it?” Nami smiled nervously.
“It’s done!” Sanji announced and lifted the basilisk off the fire.
“Hurry up and give him some!” Law shouted.
Sanji rolled his eyes at Law and quickly carved a few pieces for the poisoned tall-man. Law took it from him and rushed to feed it to his patient.
The elf woman held her companion up as Law fed some chicken to him. He chewed slowly with all the strength he could muster and swallowed.
“...It…It’s nice and juicy,” The tall-man managed to mumble out, shivering in the arms of his companion. She cried at the sight of him, weak but alive.
“We are so sorry about this,” Law said as he laid the tall-man down. He looked at the elf woman and gave her a soft smile. “His colour looks a lot better, he’ll recover soon.”
She sniffled, “Thank you.”
“Oi Law! Come and eat!” Sanji shouted.
Law was confused by Sanji’s use of his real name and parrotted back. “Law?”
“You heard me!”
“I can’t, I need to cast the recovery spell-” Law had begun to say, but he quickly became distracted by the juicy leg of chicken Sanji presented before him. He swallowed his drool, then took the plate from Sanji. “Fine.”
He took a bite and sighed at just how juicy and rich it was. “...That is like something the dining hall serves.”
“It really does taste like chicken,” Nami remarked, digging into a wing.
“I heard snakes also taste a lot like chicken,” Zoro added, earning looks of disgust from Nami and Usopp.
Law continued to enjoy his meal, before he realised that the elf lady was staring at him, still holding the patient.
“I- I’ll cast that recovery spell now,” Law said as he scrambled for his staff. He walked over to them and gently sat the tall-man up. Placing his hand on the man’s back, Law began chanting, “Heliam nos…Praja gosti olim…Curae santos atis…”
A faint glow emitted from his hands and it transported throughout the tall-man’s body. After a minute or so, Law lifted his hand from the man’s back.
“Ahh…” The man sighed and rubbed at his chest through his armour. “That feels much better.”
“Here’s your mask,” Law said as he picked up the white mask with the crudely drawn smile. The man blinked.
“Thank you.” He took it from Law and put it on.
“I’ll repay you for your-”
Law huffed and cut the tall-man off, “Never mind that, have some more food. I just made sure you won’t immediately collapse, but you still need to eat.” He held up some pieces of the basilisk that Sanji had saved. “Eat.”
The man stared at the plate of basilisk and so did his elf companion. The two then glanced at each other. “...Sure?”
“Great!” Sanji beamed and served them both.
Together with the two adventurers, the party properly dug into the Roasted Basilisk. Each sighing in relief at finally eating some meat.
“Thank you all so much,” The tall-man started. “I’ve never had proper food in a dungeon before.” He lifted his mask a little so he could eat properly. “Oh, and sorry for not introducing ourselves. I’m Hakugan and my companion here is Ikkaku.”
Ikkaku smiled. “We really can’t thank you enough, for the meal…for treating Haku…”
“Anything for a beautiful lady like yourself, miss!” Sanji beamed, earning a chuckle from Ikkaku.
As they ate, the party exchanged jokes and conversation with Ikkaku and Hakugan. Sanji took it upon himself to smoke some of the meat as well. And before long, the basilisk was down to its bones.
“Man, I’m stuffed!” Usopp sighed.
Hakugan let out a satisfied groan. “That was the first decent meal I’ve had in the dungeon…” Then he looked at Ikkaku, before hesitantly approaching Zoro and Law, who had begun to tidy up.
“Um…”
Law tilted his head. “Hm?”
“She and I…Our party’s been trying for three months to get past this part of the dungeon,” Hakugan began, “But the same monsters wipe us out every time.”
“We’re not making much progress…” Ikkaku sighed.
“But you guys eat monsters! Could you tell us how to get stronger so we can cook them like you do?” Hakugan pleaded, his voice high and his eyes wide.
Zoro and Law glanced at each other. “Um uh-”
Sanji crossed his arms and stomped his foot. “First! Improve your diet! Second! Get enough sleep, regulate your daily rhythms! Third! Exercise!”
“Follow these three rules,” Sanji huffed and placed a hand on his hip, “And in no time, you will get stronger!”
Hakugan and Ikkaku stared at Sanji, then they nodded firmly and bowed their heads.
They bid the party farewell and watched as they headed deeper into the dungeon. Standing with their other three companions, Hakugan let out a huff of determination.
“What an incredible group, Ikka! Let’s do our best too!”
Unfortunately, they were quickly wiped out by man-eating plants.
And so we learned today, dear reader, that unless you eat, you can’t get strong and unless you are strong, you cannot eat. Some contradiction, isn’t it? The solution of which is only dungeon food, ah…dungeon food.
Notes:
Ikkaku and Hakugan did get found by clerics later and revived, so they’re fine! No worries at all
I didn’t add this in the main tags because tag limit but I have written Law as German in this (It’s still a fantasy setting but I like incorporating elements of real world cultures and languages into fantasy writing) I am also genuinely having so much fun with this fic that I just want to project my thoughts onto a doc and share all my ideas immediately. Definitely will be drawing everyone’s designs at some point as well, so far it’s just been loads of sketches.
Also any magic chanting that Law or other magic users do is all just random gibberish based on Latin (fun fact: I do actually study Latin as a subject)
Ka_she_who_lurks on Chapter 1 Mon 01 Sep 2025 09:32AM UTC
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feirest on Chapter 1 Mon 01 Sep 2025 10:17AM UTC
Last Edited Mon 01 Sep 2025 10:19AM UTC
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Delulu_Chat_chan on Chapter 1 Mon 01 Sep 2025 09:21PM UTC
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Luffy_in_Love on Chapter 2 Sat 06 Sep 2025 06:54PM UTC
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feirest on Chapter 2 Sat 06 Sep 2025 07:23PM UTC
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