Chapter Text
“Kinger, you have to come with us!”
“We have to go, NOW-”
“POMNI-”
“Christine.”
That name shook me out of my thoughts. It had been a few weeks since that day, since we made it to the exit, but I still wasn’t used to hearing it.
Christine.
“Christine Moore.” The nurse looked annoyed.
Oh god, how long had she been calling for me?
I stood up and shuffled over to her, “I am so sorry, I was kind of in space.”
She just smiled and led me back. My parents had insisted on me getting a check-up after being gone for so long. Which I guess was fair, but I wasn’t exactly a huge fan of being in the doctor’s office.
Especially after being legally missing. I knew I’d just have to answer the same questions I had already answered for the police. Again.
Where were you?
Who were you with?
Did they hurt you?
Have you ever used drugs?
I had told them I had been trapped in an old building by someone I never saw. Which wasn’t a lie, I just didn’t want to get sent to an institution for saying I was trapped in a VR circus where a sentient set of teeth made me go on adventures.
The nurse gestured me on to a scale. Yay.
She stared at it for a second. “120 pounds.” She muttered, writing it down on the clipboard in her hand.
I wasn’t surprised. I’d weighed exactly that for basically my entire adult life. Somehow, when I got the headset off, my body hadn’t changed at all. I should have been dead. I hadn’t eaten in months.
But I wasn’t. I was fine.
And it made no sense at all.
But it gave me hope that the ones who’d been trapped for so much longer than me were okay.
They had to be.
“Christine.” The nurse said, trying to get my attention again. “You can wait for the doctor in here, please.” She led me into a sterile-looking room. Just like ones I’d been in so many times in my life.
I was learning I hated rooms like this, now.
Being in an oversaturated, circus hellscape for that long made a white, blank wall feel like borderline torture.
I immediately glued my attention to my phone as the nurse shut the door. I had found myself searching ‘digital circus’ every single day... in hopes that maybe... someone else was okay. Maybe we all got out.
All but Kinger. He somehow managed to figure out what we could only describe as admin privileges. He got us out. He saved us. But... he stayed.
The circus was falling apart as we left. Glitching out. Shutting down.
He was gone.
I felt myself tearing up just thinking about it. If we ever all found each other again... We’d have to honor him. Somehow. It’s what he’d want.
The appointment had gone mostly as expected. Regular checkup, but with way more questions. But, just as I thought, I was fine.
As I walked down the city sidewalk, making my way back to my car which was annoyingly far from the hospital doors, I pulled out my phone to call my mom.
As much as I’d missed her voice at first, she’d been understandably overbearing since I’d been back. I was so relieved when it went to her voicemail.
“Uhh, Annyeong, Umma! Appointment went fine. Just like I told you it would. I’ll talk to you later. Love you.”
As I went to hang up the call, someone walking way too fast in the other direction bumped into my shoulder, knocking my phone out of my hand with a firm crack as it hit the ground.
“Oh, god damnit.” I heard their footsteps stop as I crouched down to pick up my very cracked phone. “Can’t you watch where you’re going?!”
I turned around. It was a guy around my age, with his hood up, just staring”. “Well, only one of us was on our phone, not paying attention, and that was you, Shortstack.”
I stared back at him. That voice. There was absolutely zero chance.
I took the shot. “So... how do you feel about jesters?” That was exactly weird enough of a question that he probably wouldn’t mug me if I were wrong.
Still, he stared. Great, I'm making myself look like a weirdo in front of a stranger. "They're disasters. Totally unstable. Pretty short, too." He took a small step towards me. "How do you feel about rabbits...?"
Oh my god. "They're a pain in my ass."
He pulled his hood down, revealing a tan, freckled face with pretty, dark eyes. "Pomni...?"
"Jax...?"
I wanted to hug him, but I couldn’t help but just... look at him. His hair was dark brown with grown-out blonde that looked like he had probably done it himself, and looked like it hadn’t been brushed today.
It suited him.
“So...” he took a few more steps closer to me, “how’s it going?” He looked weirdly uneasy.
“Pretty well, I guess! Found a new job, got a new apartment. Thank god my parents kept my car and all of my stuff from my old apartment for me.” I rambled off to him. He half smiled. “What about you?”
His little smile dropped. “Uhhh... pretty similar, I guess.” His hands were shoved in his pockets, looking down at the ground.
Well, at least he’s clearly avoidant in the actual world, too.
I held out my hand to him. “My name’s Christine.”
Suddenly, I could almost see that stupid rabbit smile plastered on his face as he aggressively grabbed my hand and shook it hard. “Felix.”
Felix... “Heh... it feels weird meeting you all over again.”
He slammed his arm down around my shoulders, starting to walk us in the direction I’d been going in the first place. “Yeah, you’re not even having a mental breakdown, unless-” he gestured back at the hospital with his thumb, “-you are?”
“Nah. Mom made me get a post-disappearance check-up. Moms, ya know?”
“Yeah.” After a moment, he ruffled my hair. “So, where are we going?”
I guess he’s coming with me now, okay...
“Well, I was going to go home, order a pizza, and rot on the couch, but honestly, I’d be happy to have the company.”
“Damn, really living the high life, huh?”
Hearing him swear uncensored was weird.
“You know it, bunny-boy.”
“How dare you.”
I pulled him in the direction of the parking garage I was parked in. “I live a tiny bit outside of the city, is that alright?”
“Works for me.”
I dragged him along with me to my car, it was funny how much Felix walked like Jax. Hunched over, but still somehow cocky.
“Wait, this is your car?” He half yelled, staring at my blue 2016 Civic.
“...Yeah?”
He just stared at the thing like it had driven straight out of a time capsule.
“Pomni- I mean... Christine.” he said slowly, still staring at the Civic, “Do you realize how messed up this is for me?" He gestured wildly at my car. “This was, like, a decently cool car when I put that fucking headset on, and you're so uncool!”
I laughed, unlocking the doors. “First, fuck you, second, cool car? Ja- Felix, it’s a Civic.”
“Hey, don’t disrespect her like that.” He slid into the passenger seat without hesitation, running his hand along the dash. “She’s practically factory new. Smells like 2015 in here.”
I climbed in on the driver’s side, shutting the door a little harder than I meant to. “Well, I’ll try to keep my ancient relic in good condition, ya fossil.”
Felix buckled in, but he was still wide-eyed, looking around like the car was a spaceship. “Do you have any idea how jarring this is? Everyone else is out here driving Teslas and those weird electric skateboards or whatever the hell they are, and I’m stuck in-” he tapped the dashboard like it was holy “-this being the newest thing.”
I pulled out of the garage, watching him grin like an idiot at the digital gas indicator on the dash. “Jax- Jesus, sorry- Felix, you’re acting like I’m chauffeuring you around in the Batmobile.”
“You basically are,” he said. Then, after a beat, “Wait, does this thing have Bluetooth?”
“Yeah?”
He gasped so dramatically I almost swerved. “Play Uptown Funk.”
I smacked his shoulder with the back of my hand. “Absolutely not.”
"Come ooooonnn... let me pick a song."
"No."
"Pleeeeeease?"
I sighed, handing him my severely cracked phone. "Fine, good luck reading anything though, some asshole broke it."
He looked at it for a second. "Where's the button?"
"Huh?"
"Like. The home button."
"The home button... OH. They got rid of that in like, 2017."
"Then how the hell do you unlock the phone?!"
"You just like..." I started mimicking the motion with one hand. "Poke the screen, then swipe up from the very bottom."
I could see him attempt it a few times, before yelling, "AHHHA. Nice. Got it." He looked over at me with that stupid smile that was somehow exactly the same. "No password, huh? Means you got nooooo secrets...."
"Or I lived alone and haven't dated in years?"
He slumped down, scrolling through what I was hoping was my music. "You have surprisingly okay taste."
I couldn't help but laugh. "What were you expecting?"
"I dunno, something dumb." He eventually settled on a Radiohead album before putting my phone in the cupholder. "Am I insane, or are there even more fast food restaurants than I remember?" He asked, staring out the window.
"I'm not complaining. It's nice having so many so close to home. Cheaper delivery fees."
I could feel him staring at me, but he wasn't saying anything.
He spent the rest of the car ride asking me questions I'd never even considered him having. What movies had gotten sequels. Was The Simpsons still going? That sort of thing. It was like I was the first human being he'd spoken to since we escaped, but that was weeks ago.
I led him up to my apartment, which was on the third and top floor of the building. I hated these stairs, but it's what I could afford with what money I had left in my bank account. Down payments had skyrocketed since I'd gotten my last apartment.
As I opened the door and let him in, I swear I could see some of that Jax-brand confidence leave him. Maybe this slightly more awkward guy in front of me was just... Felix.
"Still got shit in boxes, huh?" He asked, standing stiffly by the door as I took my shoes off.
"I mean, I only moved in like, two weeks ago, so, yeah." I crossed my arms. "Like you're fully unpacked and moved in wherever you are?"
"Sure am." He smirked as he clumsily started taking his shoes off.
I pulled out my phone. Trying to find the Doordash app behind the multitude of cracks. "Ooooo, mister perfect over here..." I finally found the app and started ordering the pizza, and Felix went and sat on my couch. "Whatcha want on the pizza?"
"Uhhhh... whatever is fine."
I went and sat next to him, holding the screen so we could both see it. "Meat lovers? Or was the whole 'being-into-meat' thing a Jax thing?"
He smirked. "You would be able to guess my fucking pizza order..." He rested his head in his hand and watched me scroll to find the right pizza.
"There was a whole adventure where meat was all you talked about!" As I scrolled, suddenly I felt a sharp pain in my thumb, and I dropped my phone on the floor with a series of expletives pouring out of my mouth.
"The fuck did you just do?!"
"Broken glass." I couldn't help but laugh a little. "God, it's weird hearing you swear."
"Ditto, potty mouth." He grabbed my hand, looking at my thumb. "You got tweezers?"
"Uhhh..." I was admittedly caught off guard by the fact that he wasn't actively laughing at me. "Yeah..." I walked off towards the bathroom, Felix following right behind me.
I fished them out of a drawer in the cabinet, and he immediately snatched them out of my hand, as well as reaching down for the rubbing alcohol that was on a nearby shelf.
"Wash your hands." He demanded before just... walking out of the room.
What was happening?
I did what he asked, though. Admittedly, I probably would have forgotten to do this step. I probably would have just wiped it off and thrown a Band-Aid on it.
He came back a minute later, shaking off his also wet hands. His hoodie was gone. I could see a few tattoos poking out from under the sleeves of his t-shirt, and found myself weirdly distracted by them. Jax had never mentioned having tattoos.
He grabbed my hand again, with all of the gentleness of a pissed off toddler, and started carefully pulling a few tiny pieces of glass out of my thumb. "Ahhhh- oowwww..."
"Quit moving."
"I can do this myself, you know."
"With your non-dominant hand? You wanna do a shitty job and deal with an infection a few weeks after finally coming home?"
Ah, hell. He had a point.
I watched his hands. I didn't think he was capable of anything delicate. But what really caught my attention was just... the details of his hands. Beyond the obvious, and very stupid knuckle tattoos that just spelled out "FIST", there were just. A lot of little scars. On nearly every finger. Some on the backs of his hands. Nothing major, but so many. I guess he probably did have some experience doing this...
"Band-aid?" He asked, kind of half looking around my bathroom without letting go of my hand. I reached back down and grabbed one. He once again, plucked it out of my hand.
He opened it and put it on for me, before very aggressively ruffling my hair around. "I ordered the food you failed to order, too. I'm so great, I know."
I was so confused. How could Jax and Felix be so similar... and so, so different.
He shoved me out into the hallway and started cleaning off the tweezers. "Go plant it on the couch, I'll be there in a sec."
"I- Okay." And I did just that. Why was I just letting him tell me what to do in my own home?
As he said, he flopped down next to me a minute later. "You somehow look exactly the same, ya know?" For the first time today, he really looked me in the eyes. "I mean, you don't. But you do."
I finally got to study his face without looking like a weirdo. I hadn't even consciously noticed the snakebite piercings before. I actually really liked them. He'd be kind of cute if he wasn't, ya know, Jax.
I pushed a piece of his overgrown hair out of his face. "I can't believe I found you..."
He made a little bit of a face, before smirking. "Technically I, found you. Yoooou were on the phone."
I reached over and hugged him. "I really missed you, you massive pain in the ass..."
After a moment, he hugged back. "You too, Poms."
Felix didn’t let go right away. In fact, I think he held on even tighter for a second. When he finally pulled back, his hand lingered on my arm. That smug little grin of his was back, but his eyes were softer than I’d ever seen them.
“You know you're stuck with me again, right?” he said, leaning back into the couch cushions like he owned the place.
I rolled my eyes. “I guess I'll manage, you asshole.” I shoved his shoulder, but it only made him laugh. The sound was so normal. Too normal. It made me feel some sort of way, remembering how we’d both survived somewhere that was anything but normal.
For a few minutes, we just sat there in that weird silence that wasn’t uncomfortable, but wasn’t easy either. I think we were still processing the fact that we weren’t alone in this anymore.
Finally, Felix spoke. “Hey... Poooomstine...” His voice had dropped, quieter now. “Do you think... the others made it out alright, too?”
I hesitated. “...I don’t know. But if we did, they have to have, right?
”
He nodded, but didn’t look at me. His eyes were fixed on some point on the floor. "Yeah..”
The knock at the door startled both of us. He jumped like he’d been caught doing something wrong. I laughed at him, standing to grab the pizza.
When I came back, Felix had sprawled out across the couch, one arm behind his head like this was his apartment, not mine. “Hope we ordered something with enough meat to kill me on the spot.”
“Relax,” I said, setting the box down on the coffee table. “Your arteries are only as safe as your willpower is strong.”
He sat up and grabbed a slice before I’d even opened the soda. He bit into it with that same reckless energy he used to dive into danger back in the circus. And for the first time since escaping, I actually felt... at home.