Chapter 1: Prologue
Chapter Text
1899
She ran as fast as her 7-year-old legs could carry her. Her feet pounding against the cobbles as loud as thunder. The adrenaline coursing through her was making her feel anxious, she could feel that they were closing in on her, she was sure she would get caught.
From the side street, the little boy peered out from where he was hiding. Nobody would catch him here. She came into view, her face red as her blonde hair flew in the wind behind her. Her dress, obviously worth a good few bob, was ruined by mud splatters and a few tears here and there. The image made him smile; she always made him smile.
He watched as she darted in front of a cart and horses, the horse pulling backwards in shock almost unsettling the cart. Those chasing her were now caught behind, unable to pass as the horse fussed and the owner tried his best to calm her down.
She kept on running. He leaned out further from behind the wall and reached out his hand grabbing hold of hers and pulling her into the side street with him.
She let out a scream until she realised it was him. "Tommy" she sounded relieved as she leant back against the wall and caught her breath.
"John's getting fast, ey?" he joked.
"Shut up" she smirked and punched him playfully on the arm "it was Arthur and Freddie who nearly had me.”
He watched her for a moment as she closed her eyes. Her hair was a knotted mess, her bow falling out of her hair. Her tights had ladders emerging and her shoes, well, they were scuffed to hell. For a girl from high-society London she was doing a damn good job of looking like a child from the slums of Birmingham.
"Come on" he took her hand gently in his and pulled slightly "I want to show you something.”
She opened her green eyes and stared at him before smiling and nodding her head.
He led her away down the side street and out over the canal. They walked for a few minutes before climbing up an embankment. Once they reached the top, Harriet's eyes widened in surprise.
"I had no idea this was here" she giggled, looking out over the green fields that stretched for what seemed like miles.
"Neither did I until Charlie showed me the other day. Come on" he dragged her into the field, and they ran around laughing and chasing one another until they got tired and fell on the ground together.
Tommy reached out and grabbed her hand "I wish you didn't have to go back to London, Harry."
She sighed. She loved her life in London, full of adventure and expensive clothes and toys, trips to foreign places with her parents. But she loved Birmingham more, it felt like coming home. It certainly had been home for her mother until she met her father and they fell in love and got married.
"We're off to India next week" Harry whispered softly "Daddy says it’s very hot and that they have lots of lovely exotic animals like elephants and tigers!"
Tommy could see her opportunities in London were far greater than anything he could offer in Birmingham, but he gave it a shot, nonetheless. "Yeah well, we have horses here. I could take you out on one. We could ride all around the fields and take sandwiches and eat them on the tree over there." He pointed to the tree in the distance, one of the thicker boughs was bent nearly to the ground and he could see himself and Harry sat on their together kicking their legs and talking nonsense.
"I would love to, Tommy, but it will have to be next time" she smiled. Secretly she wanted to say yes, she wanted to promise to stay here. In fact, horses sounded like much better fun than elephants and certainly tigers. But she knew her parents would never allow it.
"Okay" he sounded dejected "but promise you'll come back so we can actually do it" he almost wouldn't believe her even if she promised, but he wanted to hold onto even the smallest bit of hope.
She smiled from her eyes at him and kissed her finger tracing it lightly over his heart in a cross shape. "I promise that I will come back to Small Heath so that we can ride the horses and picnic on the tree. I even promise to bring you a present back from India."
His heart jumped a little at her promise to come back and he grinned excitedly as he hugged her.
~ ~ ~
1905
The journey was rough, and it made her feel sick.
2 weeks before her parents would have accompanied her on her journey. 2 months before, she joined her parents on a trip to India, her skin still showing evidence of her time in the blazing sun painting and reading her books.
London was a dangerous place, especially when you're wealthy and have influence. That's exactly why her parents were dead. Shot by Ottavio Sabini inside their own club.
Harriet had plenty of wealthy family members who had been more than ready to take her in. Both her grandmother Clara and her aunt Alice on her father's side had begged her to stay in London.
"Harriet, please" her grandmother had followed her around frantically after her as she packed "Darling you don't have to do this, just because it was your mother's wish that doesn't mean it has to be this way."
"I need to go home, Grandma" Harry had said it without giving it a moment's thought. As soon as she had found out her mother and father had agreed in their wills to give her guardianship to Ellen and Arthur in Birmingham, she understood why.
Her mother had grown up in Birmingham, playing with Ellen and Polly, and every few months Harriet had always been dragged back to Birmingham to visit. They were her second family. Arthur, Tommy, John, Ada, they were everything to her and she couldn't imagine not having them in her life.
Her mother, Lizzy, had grown up poor with only her father at home after her mother died in childbirth. He worked as a factory worker and struggled with a cough all his life and died prematurely when Lizzy was just 15.
Ellen and Polly had been her crutch through that time.
She had left school and taken jobs as maids in various households, but had struggled to find anything permanent, before moving to London. Here, she started a job working for Walter Fitzgerald and had quickly caught his eye. He was kind, ambitious but progressive with his thoughts and feelings channeling support into women's rights campaigns and bridging the class divide.
They had married and soon after Harriet had arrived. She was their precious baby and Lizzy was determined to make the best start in life for her. Piano lessons, dance, a governess and many trips abroad to India, Canada, the Americas. But her favourite had always been the painting. night and day she would paint if she could. landscapes, horses, flowers, people, she was fascinated by the beauty of everything in the world. And when you didn't find her painting, she loved riding horses bareback and running through meadows barefoot, her hair loose and wild flowing behind her.
She knew that she was leaving behind a life of luxury. She was leaving behind everything familiar to her to go and live on Watery Lane, Birmingham with a family of gypsys. But didn't much care for expensive things as much as she did for people and connection. She could continue living in London, but it didn't feel like home to her anymore. Truly, the only thing she would miss would be her friend Rebecca whom she had known since she was a baby. But in this time of desperate need, where her entire world had been blown apart, she needed something, someplace that would feel normal.
Driving down the streets of Birmingham, the signs of disrepute were abundant. Sex on the side of the street, men throwing up alcohol in the middle of the day, others being beaten to an inch of their lives. It was surely a different atmosphere to Kensington.
Pulling up outside the house down Watery Lane, she saw Tommy waiting for her. He had a cigarette in his mouth, and he leaned up against the side of the house.
As her car came to a stop, he gave her no time to exit the vehicle herself, opening the car door for her like the lady she was.
"Tommy" she said, clambering out of the vehicle and giving him a hug.
"Harry" his nickname for her. "I'm sorry" he whispered into her hair, his grip tight around her "I'm really sorry".
There was nothing she could say in return, and as she pulled back from him all she could stomach was a pathetic smile.
She grabbed her bags and took her inside which, as she had guessed on her journey, was a chaotic mess.
From the ceiling in the living room there was a makeshift washing line hung with various belongings, the fire roaring to try and get things dry. The dinner table was still a mess from breakfast, bread and jam uneaten on plates, a pot of tea that had been stewed for hours.
Arthur and John, she could hear, were out the back play fighting one another and Ada was laying on the floor colouring a picture.
"Harry!" Ellen called out, appearing from the kitchen "Oh sweetheart, come here."
She was engulfed in a hug, her face planted into Ellen's neck, the scent of cigarette and whisky in her hair. She was wearing all black.
"Come sit" she said gently, taking Harry's hand "Now, I hope you don't mind, and you can say if you do! But I haven't been able to stop crying since I heard the news" Harry could hear how hard it was for Ellen to not start crying now. "But I've built a little shrine to your mother over on the hearth. There are some photos I had of her, and some candles and I change the flowers down there nearly every day."
Harry got up to inspect, sitting on her knees. It was lovely, a thoughtful tribute to her mother. It made her want to cry. She had been so loved by so many people.
She was broken away by the sound of a crashing plate, and John and Arthur entering the room.
"Harry!" John came racing to her, wrapping his arms around her protectively.
Since they had been little, John has always been her best friend. He was the cheekiest, funniest kid and together they were mischief personified. But right now, wrapped in his arms all she could feel was deep affection.
"Harry, we're all really sorry about ya parents" Arthur said, taking his cap off his head "We were only saying t'other day how kind it was to give us that money few weeks back to buy our Ada some new clothes. We're still happy to pay that bac-"
Harry interrupted him "No, no, that was a gift, my father would never have allowed you to repay him. He wasn't that sort of man."
Her voice was soft, gentle and her accent was posh. She spoke the King's English. It made Tommy's heart flutter something radical every time she spoke.
Harry looked up, feeling Tommy's gaze on her. She smiled at him. They had been close, forever, always running wild together in the meadow and hiding from the others. And his laugh, goodness, she could listen to that all day.
"Tommy, be a good lad and show Harry which bedroom she'll be in" Ellen said "I'm putting on tea, is rabbit stew okay for you?"
"That's perfect, Ellen, thank you" Harry smiled, before following Tommy up the steep stairs
"We've had a bit of a swap around. John's in with me and Arthur now, so you get to share with Ada."
"Oh Tommy, John doesn't have to move-" she began, already feeling like a burden.
"Ssssh" he laughed "it was his idea, so Ada could move out of mum's room and you two could have sleepovers every night like she always begs when you come and visit" he smiled, but he could sense she was sensitive and needed time to adjust to everything.
"Hey, come here" he held out his arms and sat on the bed. She sat down next to him and almost immediately began crying into his chest. He held her and gently swayed her back and forth in his arms, one hand running up and down her back comforting her.
"Whatever happens, I'll always be here for you" he whispered "You ever feel down, I'm always here."
She looked up at him, her eyes red and blotchy, her blonde hair a mess. "Thank you, Tommy, I mean it.”
He took her hand and kissed it before squeezing tight.
~ ~ ~
Life continued on; Harry adjusted well into the family dynamics.
Polly lived next door and popped in everyday, cooking and tending to all of them and sitting in the living room with Ellen and Arthur Sr at night with a glass of whisky.
Harry attended the school down the street. They picked on her for her accent and her fancy clothes, but Tommy would always come to her rescue, shooing them away.
After school, Tommy would disappear down Charlie's yard to look after the horses and if Harry didn't join him, she could be found running around the street barefoot with John playing tag and cops and robbers.
Days turned into months turned into years and before Harry knew it her parents had been dead over three years.
Ellen had recently given birth to baby Finn and Arthur Sr's alcoholism and philandering had finally driven him out of the house without a warning and no prospect of his return.
He had always been a drunk, and often an abusive one. He would slap Ellen after one too many whiskeys at the Garrison and would end up fighting one of the boys, normally Tommy, for doing so.
Tommy had always been fiercely protective of his mother and when it came to his father it was no exception.
But when Arthur Sr left, it plunged a blackhole into Ellen's life. She couldn't handle it. She couldn't handle a newborn baby and a husband who had walked out on her and their family.
She took to her bed and refused to get up, smoking and drinking herself to delirium each day.
Each day, Harry would awaken and would brush Ada's hair for school and get her out a freshly washed dress for her to wear, before finding baby Finn, often placed in a drawer to sleep and look after him.
Arthur and John had moved into Polly's next door because during those three years, something had changed.
Harry had always loved Tommy and Tommy her, but as she reached 16 and him 18 the realisation of this was so much clearer to the both of them. The way they leaned on each other when they laughed at a joke or pulled faces at one another when Arthur would say something silly. They were often the last two awake, sitting in the living room talking about everything from horses to paintings to whisky. Harry was also one of the few people who Tommy felt was on an intellectually similar level to him and when the spoke of things she always knew what he was talking about.
Every so slowly, they would end up sitting nearer each other, their hands would brush one another's when they walked past each other, their eyes would meet each other's gaze and would hold for longer than normal.
Until one day, down by the canal, Harry had been sat watching the boats go past for hours. She was meant to meet Tommy at 5, but it was getting on for 7:30 by the time he appeared.
"You waited" he sounded breathless from running.
"You ran" she laughed "of course I waited."
He swallowed hard, catching his breath. She could tell he was nervous about something.
"Uhhh" he sat beside her, impossibly close "Uhh, I....I really like you, Harry."
"I like you too, Tommy" she had said, nudging his knee.
"No....I love you, Harry" his words were plain, and he looked straight into her eyes as he said it.
"What?" she had whispered, not sure she heard him right.
"I love you. I've loved you since I was 9 and you were 7, probably even before then. I love you" he shook his head "I can't stop saying it" he laughed nervously at himself.
She grabbed his hand and squeezed it tightly; her breath was shaky. "You love me?"
"I love you" he confirmed with a firm nod of his head.
Her face softened, she felt like crying. She couldn't find the words for what she felt so she kissed him, she grabbed his face and kissed him hard before pulling away and whispering, "I love you too."
He had breathed a sigh of relief, his eyebrows high on his face as though he couldn't believe it. "I promise, one day I will give you the world" he said, resting his forehead on hers "All of this" he gestured around him "All of this will be the past, and it'll just be you and me and I'll give you everything."
She kissed his nose softly "I don't want the world, Tommy" his eyes were so blue, she could see the love welling in his eyes "I just want to be happy, just us...and our little babies."
He couldn't take much more, and he kissed her again and again and again, not quite able to believe that a girl like her would say yes to a boy who had just spent 4 hours shoveling horse shit. His heart beamed with love, she was everything he wanted and more.
Everyone was happy that they were together, in fact, nearly all of them agreed that it was about time they finally got together.
Arthur and John had agreed to stay in Polly's spare room so that Tommy and Harry could have a room together in peace.
And so, each morning, Harry would lift little baby Finn out of the drawer where he slept and would take him through to hers and Tommy's room. She would sit in the bed as Tommy dozed, and would coo over Finn, kissing his cheeks and rocking him gently.
It always made Tommy's heartbeat with excitement when he saw Harry with the baby. He imagined that it was their baby, and seeing Harry pretend to be mother nearly tipped him over the edge. She was so good with Finn, he hardly ever cried when he was in her arms.
"Look who's finally awake Finn" Harry would whisper as Tommy's eyes opened "It's your brother, Tommy.”
Tommy would lean over and kiss her on the neck before taking one of Finn's tiny feet and placing soft kisses on them.
"Good morning" his voice would be husky with sleep, and it made Harry's heart drop into her stomach.
"He was such a good boy last night; he slept all the way through" Harry said spring morning as the sun peaked gently through the window.
Tommy watched as the beams ran through her blonde hair and landed on her sun kissed chest. Her skin so beautiful and tanned from hours spent in the sun.
From across the hall, they could hear movement coming from Ellen's room.
"I think that may be your mother" Harry smiled "She's been doing so well with sitting out in the living room. I even got her to walk a little outside yesterday."
Tommy's mother's behaviour scared him. He wasn't used to her being this way, quiet and unresponsive, often just staring at the walls blankly.
The door to her room opened with a squeak and Ellen could be heard dragging something out of the room, something heavy.
Harry shot Tommy a concerned look "What is that?"
Tommy got up from the bed and put on a pair of shorts and a shirt before opening his door to observe his mother. She was dragging a bag, full of her stuff, down the hallway and down the stairs.
"Mum" Tommy called after her, following her down the stairs. "Mum, what are you doing?"
"Oh, I've got to go Thomas" her mind was distracted, her eyes darting from one thing to another.
"What d'you mean you've got to go? Go where?"
"I've just got to go; I've got to get away for a while" she said absently.
Tommy felt alarm creep into him "Got to go where? How long for?" he was panicking.
"I just need to be away; I can't stand being here in once place every day. I wish I'd never agreed to move into this house with your father. We were more than happy in the caravan."
It sunk into Tommy, she needed to travel. She needed the outside.
"How 'bout we go on a holiday, mum? That way we can all get away?" Tommy suggested "We could travel down to Margate for a few days, spend some time by the sea?"
He knew his attempts were useless. Once his mother had made her mind up about something, that was it.
"No, no" she shook her head almost violently "I have to go, I have to go now.”
Tommy stood in the living room unable to move. Harry watched him from where she stood at the bottom of the stairs. She felt sorry for him, helpless and unable to do anything to make her better.
"Why don't we give you a hand getting to where you need to be?" Harry piped up "That bag looks awfully heavy."
"Charlie's picking me up" Ellen spoke "He's taking me to the country."
They stayed in silence until Charlie arrived to pick her up.
"Where y'taking her?" Tommy interrogated.
"Worcester, Tom. You know how she gets like, how she has these periods of sadness. She needs time away, time to clear her head."
They had watched as Charlie drove her away on the cart. Tommy had been determined that they'd never see her again.
But she returned, a few weeks later, and with her came a sunnier disposition and a gorgeous white horse for Tommy.
"She's for you, Tommy. I know you love them" She had hugged him tight to her, and Harry had watched on thinking it looked like they were hugging for the last time somehow.
Tommy had climbed onto the horse bareback and rode her along the streets laughing and smiling until he eventually pulled Harry up and they rode out into the meadow and laid under the tree like they used to as kids.
"She needs a name" he said, facing her on his side, mindlessly picking the grass.
"She looks like a Duchess to me" she replied.
"Thank you, for keeping me together whilst she was gone" Tommy said "I was sure she wouldn't come back this time.”
"She was always going to come back Tommy, she wouldn't leave you like that" Harry ran her hand over his face feeling the contours and textures of his skin.
"Don't ever leave like that, will you?" he was serious, nervous "I mean it, I'm not sure I could cope.”
She kissed his lips gently "I'm never going to leave you Tommy Shelby. My God, I couldn't even leave you if I was dying" she laughed.
Her joke about death made him feel sick "what d'you mean?"
"Even if I was dying, I'd hold on to make sure you were coming too."
He squeezed her hand "promise?" he croaked.
"I promise" she reached out her hand and drew a little 'x' over his heart just as she'd done when they were kids, a pinky promises but more serious "that if I'm dying, I'll make sure you're on your way to death as well so that we never had to spend a day apart."
His hand reached up subconsciously and traced where her fingers had been on his chest, drunk with the feeling of love.
Just two weeks after Ellen returned with the stunning mare, she drank half a bottle of whisky, put some stones in her coat pocket and waded into the canal to drown herself.
Charlie Strong had found her and attempted to pull her out and resuscitate her, but it was no use, she was gone.
Wails of pain rang out through the Shelby household as just like Harriet, suddenly the Shelby children too were orphans.
It knocked something out of Tommy when his mother died, he had to step up. He and his brothers were now fully in charge of their family. With their father off galivanting, it was up to the three of them to provide for their siblings, and for me.
Arthur, bless him, tried his best but he had never been very clever, and John was too distraught at the realisation that his mother was never coming back. And so, it was left to Tommy. He took extra shifts working with Charlie at the yard and would take shifts when they came down by the canal loading the crates onto the boats. He worked nearly every hour god gave him.
Arthur would pick up shifts at the factory, but they never came as frequently as Tommy's opportunities. And John would disappear during the day but would normally return home with a copper kicking him into the house after he been caught stealing.
Whilst all of this was happening on the outside, it was down to Polly and Harry to look after Ada and Finn.
Years went on and they were happy. The pain of Ellen's death never left, but her legacy was very much alive with the boys and Polly retelling stories about her over dinner and by the fire at night.
Harry would sit each night with Tommy, her legs resting on his lap, their hands intertwined and a cigarette and whisky in the other. They were mad for each other. She was mad for his sense of humour and his kind heart. He was the sweetest soul she had ever known, so grown but so young. He was mad for her in every way, and he couldn't quite believe that after all this time he had actually managed to pull it off.
When he had dreamt about being with her as a child, he had rested on the damp grass of the meadow looking up at the clouds and daydreaming about everything he would work to give her. He would dream of their home and the children they would have. He thought about the horses they would ride together bareback through fields, bare foot.
Sometimes at night, when they sat entwined in one another he would look at her in disbelief. Even now that he had her, he couldn't quite bring himself to believe it.
And so, when she told him she was pregnant with his baby, oh the joy that filled his heart.
~ ~ ~
13th May 1914
The rain on the windows only beat down heavier by the minute.
She felt the heat rush through her like a scalding hot knife. Polly had warned her that the pain was incomparable, but nothing could have prepared her for this.
He was big, almost too big, and panic had erupted in the room as Ada grabbed more towels and water.
With each push she let out a low, guttural growl, hair sticking to her sweaty forehead.
"Come on, Harry, just a couple more now" Polly said encouragingly.
It felt too much, the burning heat of it made her want to fall onto her back and pass out, but the squeeze of Tommy's hand in hers reminded her that she couldn't give up.
"You're nearly there, sweetheart" his words were sweet and soft as he whispered them gently in her ear. Amongst the chaos of the room, he was the calm in the storm.
Outside, the rain beat down, continuous and unrelenting. She wished that someone would push her out into it so that the cold droplets could cascade over her now and cool her searing skin.
She pushed again and the sense that she was tearing was quickly wiped from her mind as she felt the baby ease out and into Polly's arms.
"There he is" she said handing him to her as she leant back onto the bed.
"He?" she questioned, tears beginning to streak down her face as the reality of what she had just accomplished hit home.
"A little strapping lad" Polly beamed placing his naked body her my chest.
Tommy took a sharp inhalation of breath as the realisation of what this was hit home for him. They had a baby, a little baby boy. For the rest of their lives, he was their responsibility, their pride and joy, their boy.
~ ~ ~
August 1914
'Your country needs you.'
She stared into Lord Kitchener's eyes; the poster stuck on the community centre wall taunting her.
"See Harry?" Tommy spoke softly behind her, his arms around her waist, his face nuzzling her neck gently.
"What about him?" She pointed furiously at Albert quietly sleeping in his pram and turned around to face him "what about when he needs you? What about when I need you" tears were pooling in her eyes and she looked away, blinking rapidly to make the tears go away
He was soft with her as he always was. “Sssh" he whispered gently "It'll be alright, Harry. I promise. There's talk that it'll all be over by Christmas. Christmas, ey? That's not too long away, is it?"
Harriet swallowed hard and bit her lip anxiously "It's longer than I'd like to be away from you. Longer than we'd both like"
"I know, and if I had my way, I wouldn't be going at all. But we have to show those German bastards who's in charge, ey? Got to set a good example for the boy" he looked at Albert, a soft smile emerging on his lips.
"He's so gorgeous, Harry. I promise, when I'm back I won’t leave either of your sides. You'll barely be able to stand how close I'll keep you both to me. I'll raise the baby in the stables with me and horses and you and I can ride out to the fields over the way and have picnics like we used to when we were kids, ey? How does that sound?" His voice lowered into a whisper "and if you're lucky I might be able to sneak us a bottle of whisky from Pol's cupboard."
It was his cheeky smile and the way his eyes crinkled at the edges as they sparkled with child-like excitement that made her fall over and over and over again in love with him. Tommy Shelby big kid, romantic, her protector and best friend.
She suddenly felt herself grip onto him hard and pull him into a hug "Just promise me that you'll stay safe, and you won’t get hurt". She couldn't bear the thought of him being so far away. There had been a day in the last 9 years where she hadn't seen him.
As they hugged, his fingers intertwined with her golden hair, his other hand making its way up the back of her blouse to trace small comforting patterns on her back.
"I promise I'll come back in one solid piece, no wounds to show." he placed a soft kiss on her forehead "I even promise to write every day, so send back pictures of Albert and yourself when you can."
But what started as a promise of 4 months and home by Christmas ended up as 4 years. Mons, Verdun, the Somme. Every battle more gruesome and terrifying than the last.
The patriotism that had first been ignited dwindled faster than expected.
At home, Polly was the leader. She continued to run the business, Harry and Martha, John's wife, by her side. Every day she would pray for the three brothers to come home safe.
Harry had never felt the patriotism for the war effort. The moment she had waved goodbye to Tommy at the train station, seeing his sapphire eyes for the last time, she expected only the worst.
And as time went on, people generally began to feel the same.
"Did you hear?" Sybil whispered to her one morning as they cued up for their weekly rations "Margot's husband, David, he...." she looked around "his leg was blown clean off, he's in the hospital but it's not looking good. That poor woman, 5 kids they've got. Can't imagine how she'll cope on her own. This war all seems a bit unnecessary now, doesn't it? I can honestly think of very few women on Watery Lane who still have their husbands intact."
Tommy's letters had started off frequent and upbeat. He was excited to have a uniform and to see France for the very first time. He was excited to be wielding weapons, as can only be expected of young men, and to be working towards a collective purpose. It made a change from looking after horses down the yard every day.
But as time marched on, Tommy's letters arrived less often and were empty of the enthusiasm which had one been. His tone became colder, more distant. He would detail the horrors of clay kicking, soldiers attacking them through the walls. He painted images with his words of the mountains of bodies he saw lying dead at the Somme and the men suffering with typhus and trench foot, dysentery and Spanish flu.
In all the letters he sent, however, he never once mentioned outright how he himself was fairing. But Harry knew. she knew Tommy better than anyone else in the entire world and whether he spoke those words to her in person or through a letter she could sense in his tone, his choice of words and his penmanship exactly the way he was coping. Or not.
As Albert got older, he wanted to hear from his daddy too and so Tommy would always add in a special section where he'd explain about the planes used to bomb the Germans or the trenches that had been built for miles and miles. And at the end of every letter, he would always write the same thing to Harry, of which she could always tell was written with the same love and meaning as always.
'You are everything to me. The more I see in this world the more I dislike it, apart from you. In all the places in all the world for all of eternity there is nowhere I'd rather be than in a field with you, cuddled together looking at the clouds and dreaming of spending every day for all of time exactly like that. I love you, more than you could ever imagine.'
It was this that gave her hope. This continued message, always the same never a changed word or a line missing, that gave her hope that Tommy would come home, and things would go back to normal. How wrong she was.
~ ~ ~
1918
Bertie ran through the living room, jumping on and off the sofa, his arms held out wide as he pretended to be a war plane.
"Boom, boom!" he called out as his plane dropped bombs on the Germans below.
"Bertie, come on darling, coat on please. It's time to go and meet Daddy at the train station."
The little boy circled back on himself, pretending to come into land before her. She looked at him, all brown hair and blue eyes. He was the image of Tommy as a little boy and had the character of him, all cheek and laughs. She couldn't wait to re-introduce her husband to him and watch them play on the cobbled streets outside their house for hours on end.
"Where you are going, Bertie?" cried the voice of one of his playmates.
"Going to see my Daddy" Bertie said, excitement filling up his words.
"Is ours’s with him?" another voice said.
"Not this time, boys, but he's coming back with Uncle Arthur in 10 days" Harry reassured John's boys of his imminent return. After the death of their mother in August, the children had struggled, and it had been down to her and Pol to keep things together for the family.
"D'ya think Santa sent Daddy as an early Christmas present, Mummy? Because that's what I asked him for this year" the little boy said aimlessly as he struggled to slip his arms into his coat
Harry took hold of him and guided his arm through with ease "You know what? I think that must be it!" she knelt down in front of him, pushing his hair back from his eyes "You know what else it is though?"
Bertie shook his head.
"Daddy got some medals for all the hard work and bravery he put in during the war, he saved a lot of people's lives and in return for that, they agreed to send him home first."
"So, Daddy's a hero?" Bertie's eyes turned big like saucers and Harry nodded.
"So, when we see Daddy, you need to give him a big, big hug, okay?"
"Okay!" Bertie called out, his knees starting to bob in excitement and anticipation. For the last four years, the only contact he'd had with his father was through written letters and the odd photograph here and there. Other than that, it was through the stories that his mother, Aunt Polly or Ada would tell him.
"Don't you look put together!" Polly's voice swirled into the room.
Harry turned her head and grinned "You like it? I saved up and bought the material to make it myself “she held out the dress and twirled around in a circle.
"Gorgeous" Polly smiled, teacup in hand filled with whisky "Thomas is a lucky man to have you two to come home to."
Harry took a deep breath, her smile taking over all of her features "Right, we must be on our way otherwise the train will reach the station and he'll think we forgot about him" she took Bertie's hand in hers, waving to Polly as they went.
Harry could feel her excitement and nerves all rolling into each other in her stomach. She knew she'd cry when she saw him, she'd cry and mess all of her makeup up, but she also felt nervous. She hadn't seen him face to face in 4 years. Before the war they could barely spend 4 days apart without missing each other terribly.
"Mummy! I can see the steam, the train's coming in!" Bertie shouted, pulling on her hand and pointing at the steam floating gently into the crisp December skies.
She picked up her pace, finding a central point on the platform so that Tommy would clearly see them. Her eyes scanned every carriage for him, part of her still not quite believing that he was making it home alive from war, a war that had torn all of the men she knew apart with its devastation and destruction.
The doors opened and passengers filed out, Harry stood on her tiptoes and craned her neck to try and spot Tommy.
"Looking for someone?"
She knew that voice anywhere. Her knees nearly betrayed her, nearly giving out underneath her. She turned slowly and met his eyes with her own.
It was like time stood still as her eyes scanned his face to re-memorize all of his features. Her hand slipped from Bertie's and found its way to cover her mouth.
"Tommy!" she spoke his name more like a cry than an in exaltation.
"Harry" he dropped his bag and enveloped her in a hug that seemed to encompass all of her body.
For the first time in 4 years, Tommy felt as if he could breathe. He shut his eyes, burying his nose into her neck and hair. Just the feeling of holding her close to him brought him comfort that he couldn't remember feeling.
"Until right now I've been thinking this whole time that you were never really going to come home, I was scared right up until the very end that something would happen to you" she sobbed, gripping onto him with all the strength she possessed.
"I was always coming home to you. From the minute I stepped onto that train 4 years ago I promised I would come home to you" his words were scratchy and struggled to come out
Harry felt a tug on her coat that snapped her back to reality. Bertie.
"Tommy" she pulled away slightly, wiping her eyes and her nose. He took her face in his hands and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. "Tommy, Bertie's here" she put her hand on the boy's head, and he grinned up at his dad with wonder.
Tommy's heart stopped in his chest. When he had left, that little boy had been months old. A tiny speck of a human being, all chubby and adorable. What stood in front of him now was a little boy of what he could make out was nearly 5. He had missed so much time, so many memories. And if the kid didn't look so much like him, he wouldn't even be able to tell who he was.
"Tommy" Harry was gentle "don't just stare at him."
Tommy knelt down in front of the boy "Hello, son."
The boy didn't reply, instead just catapulting his body into his father's, wrapping his hands firmly around his neck. It caught Tommy off guard and for a second, he was frozen in place until he eventually wrapped his arm around the skinny boy.
"Daddy, just wait until we get home, I have so many toys we can play with!" the boy pulled back and looked him dead in the eyes. Being called Daddy so casually nearly made him be sick. Whilst he had been away, killing innocent men and saving the lives of others, his wife had been raising this boy, this sweet boy who had no idea of the terrors that existed in the world. A boy who probably still cried at night if he had a nightmare and who would sit on his mother's knee when he cried from getting hurt on the playground. A boy so very much like what he used to be.
In that moment, as he stood back up, he decided that no son of his would be as naive as he had grown up being. No. His son would be ready, would be strong enough and ready enough to fight anything that he needed to. So, if he had to go away to war, he would be tough enough, he wouldn't feel the effects of seeing men die, seeing his friends die, he would be man enough to deal with it.
'Tommy?' Harry snapped him back to reality, a frown on her face "Will you play with Bertie when we get home? He's asking"
"Uhh, yeah" he nodded his head, his brow furrowed as it always was now.
"Yay!" Bertie called out, beginning to run down the platform towards home, arms spread out again as he pretended to be a plane.
Harry put her soft hand in his "Come on, you must be exhausted from the journey. I know Polly was baking cakes this morning, so if you're lucky she might have made a sponge for you."
He nodded his head, not saying a word.
"How's our John doing, after the news about Martha? I wrote to him a few times, but he didn't reply."
Tommy shook his head "Not good, might've changed him more than the actual war."
Harry kept her head down, staring at her feet. "And Arthur?"
Tommy shrugged "Same as us all, fucked in the 'ead."
Silence settled between them, but Harry felt unsettled. Tommy was different, this wasn't the boy she had grown up with, all mischief and mayhem, this was someone else entirely.
"I-" she went to say something, but he cut her off.
"How's the business going?"
"Good, us girls kept it in shape alright" she giggled.
They turned a corner and Tommy, for the first time in 4 years found himself on Watery Lane.
Out on the streets, Bertie's friends were playing war, hiding behind walls with their pretend guns, it made Tommy's stomach flip over.
"George!" Bertie shouted, running at him, still pretending to be a plane.
George shot his imaginary gun and Tommy watched as Albert spun around in hectic circles pretending to be a plane going down to crash. After a few turns, he threw himself to the ground making a big 'BOOM'. He watched as his son and the other boys laughed at the display. He resented them.
"George, Jacob, this is my Daddy" Bertie said, getting up and running over to Tommy.
"Hello!" they both said, waving their little hands. Tommy simply nodded his head.
"Come play Germans proper, Bertie" Jacob said.
"Nah, showing me Dad around the 'ouse. Aunt Pol's made cakes for him"
"She made a sponge and gave us the bowl to like the cream out of" George said in a cocky tone.
"Not fair! I want some!" Bertie said, running to the door of the house and aggressively busting it open ‘Aunt Pol!' Tommy could hear his son all the way out on the street.
He stood for a moment and looked at the row of houses. John and Martha's stood dark and empty looking after the kids had all moved in with Polly. Polly's house looked like utter chaos, the door permanently wide open as one child after the next ran in and out. His eyes fell onto his and Harry's. She had planted flowers and put them in a little window box, and there was a wreath, ready for Christmas hanging on the door.
He tilted his head upwards and saw his son's bedroom. A toy plane hung from a string on the ceiling above the bed and in the window of his and Harry's room, he could see a photo frame which he guessed was filled with a picture of the two of them.
After where he had come from seeing his home so neat and tidy made him uneasy. Every fibre of himself wanted to go to Polly's house, his childhood home, where the mess would be unbearable from the amount of people living there, the sofas would be worn and dirty and everything would be at least halfway broken.
"Come on, Bertie's got a surprise for you" Harry pulled gently on his hand and took him inside their house.
In the living room, he saw a sign, obviously made by his son, hanging over the fireplace. 'WELCOME HOME DADDY' was written in all different coloured crayons, the handwriting just about good enough to make out.
On the coffee table was a tray of cakes, a sponge cake in the middle, his favourite.
"Bertie, come here and grab this whisky bottle from my hand before it sl-" Polly turned the corner from the kitchen into the living room and nearly fainted. Bertie caught the slipping bottle of whisky from her hands but failed to catch the plates and forks as they crashed below him.
"Tommy!" she raced over to him, embracing him tightly, tears cascading down her face "Oh we've missed you" she smiled, pulling back from him "Sit, sit down on the sofa, I'll grab some more plates and we can have tea and cakes. Bertie come help me grab things from the kitchen". She grinned and looked at him over her shoulder before disappearing and leaving him alone with Harry.
They sat on the sofa together and instinctively she moved so that her legs were resting over his knees as her back leaned against the arm. His hand rested on her calves as normal, and she thought it strange that after all that time they still fell back into how they were. He noticed it too and smiled at her, running his hand up and down her calf lovingly.
'This is nice, thank you' he said signaling to his welcoming back.
"Well, we couldn't let you just return quietly, could we? Not the Prince of Small Heath"
Tommy smirked as she referred to him in the same way that she had as a child. She always said to him that one day he would rule over all of Small Heath
"*You're smarter than all of them combined, Tommy*" she would say.
He kissed the side of her head. Right at this moment all he wanted was to go upstairs to bed and make love to her.
"Daddy!" Bertie shouted running towards him and catapulting himself onto the sofa next to him "I'll sit on your lap while we eat the cake" he grinned up at his father.
Harry moved her legs away so that Bertie could crawl onto his father's lap, and she watched at how uncomfortable he looked. His body was so stiff as Bertie settled on his knee, leaning back so that he was resting against Tommy's chest.
Without Tommy wrapping his arms around Bertie's tiny body, he was finding it hard to balance.
"No Daddy, you have to hold me" he demanded. But Tommy seemed unmotivated to move his arms even an inch to hold his own son.
"Bertie, darling, run and fetch some of your toys to show Daddy. I think he's a little tired to be holding you on his lap."
Bertie sped off to grab some toys and Harry turned to Tommy, her brow furrowed as she looked at him. His jaw was clenched tightly shut and one fist was balled. She touched his face gently.
"What's wrong, Tommy?"
He took his time in responding. Such a loaded question like that was unnerving. What was wrong? What was right anymore? He had gone away for 4 years, and everything had changed, but mostly himself.
"Just tired, that's all" he didn't even look at her, but all he wanted was to look at her. It was too dangerous, even the thought of her face all concerned for his well-being made him want to cry, scream, burn the entire world to the ground.
After spending 4 years brutally fighting and killing, he hardly knew how to cope with such a gentle atmosphere.
"Look at me" her hand gripped his and he turned to face her. "I know" she raised her eyebrows at him "I read it in your letters, I heard it from women all over town. It's okay if you don't know how to handle this now" she gestured to the room, to ordinary life. "I can help you" she placed their foreheads together and he took a sharp inhale "we need each other, Tommy, we've always needed each other".
He knew she was right; she was always right. She could see straight through him. He took her face in his hands and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. Her touch melted him, and he felt an excitement in the pit of his stomach that he hadn't felt since they had first made love years before.
Footsteps thumped down the stairs and a cricket ball rolled across the living room floor before hitting Tommy's foot. He was acutely aware that his moment of bliss was about to abruptly end.
"Daddy look at some of the toys we have" Albert shouted in excitement "This cricket bat is my favourite. Can we go outside and play?"
"Albert, sweetheart, come here" Harry's voice was gentle, there wasn't a hint of anger in her voice and Tommy watched as she gently picked him up and sat him on her lap wrapping her arms around his tiny waist.
"What did I say, hey? Daddy's really tired my love. He's had to travel all the way home. Why don't we all have an early night tonight and tomorrow maybe Daddy can play with you outside for a little bit?" She placed a kiss on his cheek and hugged him to her as he nodded his head in agreement.
He couldn't imagine being that good with their son. Her ability to comfort him warmed him slightly, she had turned out to be an exceptional mother. She had raised this little boy all on her own and look how good she was at it.
He felt like a loose part.
They ate cake and by 8pm Albert was more than ready for his bed, the excitement of the day getting the better of him.
"Right Pol" Harry said putting out her cigarette and downing the last of her whisky "we best be off, Bertie's drifting off and I doubt me, and Tommy will be far behind."
Albert sat slouched in the armchair next to the fire, his little legs dangling off the edge too short to come close to the ground.
Tommy looked at him, looked at how small and fragile he looked as he dozed. He rose from his seat and approached the boy, sweeping him up into his arms in an attempt to be a father. He smelt sweet, hints of a bath earlier in the day lingering on his skin and his hair.
As he held the boy, he felt two little arms wrap themselves around his neck and a face nuzzle into his neck for comfort. It wasn't the norm for him, but by God did he wish it had been for the last 4 years. What he would give to have been there, helping to raise his son instead of digging tunnels to help kill people.
Harry smiled at her two boys as they did the short walk from Polly's house to their own next door. This is what she wanted now, quiet life, family altogether, love.
Inside the house, Tommy could see the effort Harry had put into making the house into a home. Before he had gone away there had been torn wallpaper on the walls, cracks and holes. He wondered how much money she had spent on re-decorating.
"I did it myself" she said shyly "so it's not perfect, but I wanted to make it nice for when you came back. I started about 3 years ago. Every room has new wallpaper and I filled in all the cracks and holes umm...oh! And I took out all the loose tiles in the hallway and re-did those too. Obviously, Albert's room I decorated, and I painted some pictures to hang on his wall. I did one for ours’s too, it's above the bed."
Harry had always had a talent for painting ever since they were little. She had taken painting lessons with a governess and her precision and attention to detail had always fascinated Tommy.
As they walked upstairs and into Albert's room, he couldn't believe the detail she had gone to. There was a basket of toys, paintings of planes and trains that she had done, a quilt on his bed that she had embroidered.
"I chose brighter wallpaper to make his room lighter, it can get ever so dark with the factory smoke" she muttered as she pulled back the quilt so Tommy could place their son into bed.
After removing his shoes, Harry tucked him in and kissed his forehead, gently stroking his cheek with her thumb. "Sleep tight, my angel" she whispered.
They exited without delay, eager to let the boy sleep, and Harry took his hand and led him into their bedroom. It was largely the same with its blueish wallpaper, a desk by the window and a chest of drawers/vanity.
Above the bed he saw her masterpiece. Two bodies intertwined. It felt familiar, a male and a female wrapped in each other's nakedness. The figures were faceless, but he could make out that it was them wrapped in an embrace.
"It's beautiful" his voice was low.
"It's us" she came and stood close to him, her hands beginning to unbutton his shirt and find their way inside to feel his chest. He could've sworn he saw her knees nearly give way as she touched the bare skin.
He grabbed her waist and held onto it tight. He was so scared that this was a dream, that we would soon wake in a puddle of muddy, disease infested water, cold, hungry and exhausted. He had to make sure she was real.
"I'm here" she whispered into his ear before kissing his neck and biting playfully. "You can grip as hard as you want, I'm not going anywhere. Never, I'll always be here. You'll always be here. They'll never send you away again. It's just us now, nobody else." She pulled on his hair and stared into his eyes; her cheeks already flushed from her desire.
His restraint left him as he looked down deep into her soul and in that moment, he decided that he must devour her completely.
Chapter 2: If I held in my hands everything gold could buy, I'd still not have a thing worth giving you.
Summary:
External factors threaten to de-rail Tommy's plans as Harry plans a day out to try and bring her little family together.
Notes:
Thank you for reading, please feel free to comment below :)
Chapter Text
1919
Tommy could hear the shovels scraping against the wall. He could feel the suffocating feeling from lack of air down in the tunnel. His heartbeat doubles every second in anticipation of the breakthrough that was about to take place. The Germans would dig, dig, dig, until the wall would collapse, and they would charge through. He had to be ready.
Scrape, scrape, scrape, scrap-
His body jolted upwards, and he clutched his chest, gasping for breath.
From where she sat, Harry looked at him with sympathetic eyes. She had quickly become accustomed to this new normal.
As his breath settled, he realised the scraping he heard in his dreams had been her paint brush scratching against the canvas that she was working on. He felt stupid.
She set her brush and palette down and moved to the bed to take him in her arms. Her golden hair was tied up with a clip into a bun on the top of her head and Tommy nearly laughed at the sight of her, her pregnant belly enclosed in the overalls he had taken from his last trip to the BSA so that she could paint without getting her clothes dirty.
"You're up before me" he said it like it was surprising.
"I can't sleep when you're dreaming like that" she whispered.
Outside it was still dark, a cool February mist had settled overnight and there was condensation on the inside of the thin window. Harry's hands were icy cold in his and he wondered how she managed to keep her paint brush steady.
He wondered how, after everything that he had done for the war effort, that they were still living in poverty. How there was no extra help from the government, how things seemingly had gotten worse.
He didn't want Harry's life to be spent in a two up, two down terrace on Watery Lane for the rest of her life. Surely, he could give her more than that.
He moved the top quilt off the bed and wrapped it round her. "Gotta stay warm for the baby, ey?" he said gently, kissing her forehead.
"It's fine, stop worrying, I can always light a fire downstairs" she laughed at him, getting up to return to her painting "I swear, you're more paranoid about this one than when I was pregnant with Albert."
He was. Things had changed, dramatically. Life was in no way the same now. Before, Tommy's days had consisted of working in the stables or down by the canal, having a quick pint in the Garrison before coming home to Harry. Now, his days looked very different, things weren't so clear cut anymore.
He watched her as she concentrated, the way her nose crinkled ever so slightly.
"I've got to see a man about an 'orse" his voice was rough as he stood, reaching for the clothes on the back of the desk chair.
"Monaghan Boy?" she asked lazily.
He very nearly smiled, she *had* been listening to him.
He raised his eyebrows and nodded.
"You know Arthur won't be pleased when he finds out" she looked at him sideways, smirking a little "you can't undermine him forever, Tommy."
"I'm not undermining him, Harry, I’m thinking for him. it's something he lacks capability in doing" he sighed.
Since they had been back, the betting shop hadn't been as lucrative as they'd have liked. Whilst the men of Small Heath liked to place a bet every now and again it had become increasingly difficult for them to find extra cash to spend on small pleasures such as these.
"Just don't let anyone see you, alright?" she stood up and wrapped her arms around his now shirted waist "I can't be bothered to listen to Arthur whining to me about things that you've done, as if I have any control over what you do" she giggled and kissed his neck.
"It'll be fast, alright?" feeling her lips on his neck, every inch of him screamed to stay where he was, not to leave the house. He wished he could lay in bed with her all day.
She pulled away from him "If you're leaving so early, could you drop Albert off at school for me? I've got to run down to the Bullring this morning to collect some fabric I ordered."
Tommy nodded his head awkwardly. Nothing scared him quite as much as one-on-one time with his son.
"Thank you, I love you. I hope your silly little powder tricks work" she smiled at him, her green eyes glistening.
He leaned in for one more kiss, savouring the strawberry taste on her lips, before leaving the bedroom and bracing himself for his son.
He was sat at the table, legs swinging back and forth. In one hand was a buttered piece of toast with jam, in the other his toy plane.
"Morning, Daddy!" Bertie called.
"Morning, Son. You ready? I'm dropping you at school this morning?"
Albert's eyes widened to the size of saucers in excitement.
"You sure?" Polly's voice could be heard from the kitchen as she turned the corner, a cup of tea or whisky in her hand.
Tommy was silent. If he'd known Polly was here, he wouldn't have said anything.
Polly often dropped in in the mornings unannounced to help get Bertie ready for school. Today, was obviously one of those days.
"No, I want Daddy to take me!" Albert said, mouth full of toast as he grabbed his satchel from the armchair and raced to his father, landing at a jump on both feet in front of him and holding out his hand. He was well trained by the women in his life not to run off on the walk to school.
"Actually Pol" Tommy started but she tutted and shook her head back and forth behind the paper.
"No no, Thomas, he's your son. He wants *you* to take him" she found a little joy in how uncomfortable Tommy was feeling and secretly laughed to herself to see a grown man so scared by a little boy, let alone his own son. But she also cared deeply for Albert and could see how much he craved attention from Tommy that he rarely received.
"Daddy, tell me about your new horse. Mummy said he's called Monnyhan Boy!" he squealed in excitement.
"Monaghan Boy" Tommy corrected gently as he took the boy's hand and led him outside.
The chill of that February morning quickly found its way onto Albert's cheeks staining them red and as he looked up at Tommy, he could feel his nose beginning to run.
"Can I come and watch when you take him to the races, Daddy?" he enquired. His father's life was so interesting to him, and it felt unfair that he was so left out of it.
"Maybe one day, son" Tommy said, his gaze never moving from straight in front of him. For some reason he couldn't bring himself to look at the boy, probably for fear of seeing himself.
"When I grow up, I want to work with horses just like you do, Daddy." As he held his father's hand, he played hopscotch as they walked.
"I'm learning about adding today" Bertie continued "But I already know how to do that, Mummy taught me!" he sounded so proud of himself. "I can add really big numbers too, Daddy, like 20 and 10. That makes 30!"
Tommy bit his lip, not sure how much more of this he could take. Albert's world was so simple, there was no danger, nothing to be scared about. He spent his days pretending to fly planes with his friends, pretending to be a soldier, adding, and subtracting numbers. Tommy's days increasingly consisted of things much much worse.
He couldn't tell if he envied the boy or despised him. But he was too much of a coward to confront the idea that he hated his son enough to despise him or hate him at all for that matter.
There was just something within him that stopped when he saw Albert. He couldn't bring himself to relax in his company, to do those things that dads did.
Seeing John play out in the streets with his kids, Tommy questioned how he did it, how he felt free enough to conduct himself like that. Everything within him felt like gas in a bottle, shaken and ready to explode shattering the glass into a million pieces and cutting anyone near to him.
The shouts of children were coming closer and closer into range and Tommy breathed a sigh of relief when he saw the playground.
"Go on then, my boy, off you go to school" Tommy let go of his hand.
"You're supposed to give me a hug and tell me to have a good day, Daddy" Bertie mumbled as he looked at his shoes, wet from the melting February snow.
Tommy looked up at the sky, internally cursing, before sighing and dropping so that he was Albert's height. "Have a good day, ey?" He held out his arms, but Albert no longer wanted the hug, even at 4-years-old he knew subconsciously that his father should've known that offering a hug was the normal thing to do. He wondered why his mother always knew but his father seemed to know very little about dealing with him.
He leaned in half-heartedly to Tommy's hug, keeping his arms straight by his sides not wanting to show his father any affection now, before he quietly said goodbye and ran off to find his friends.
Tommy watched him run, his satchel flying wildly behind him. A book fell from the bag, and he watched as it fell into a pile of sleet. He knew he should go and pick it up, take it to his son. But his feet did not move, and he knew time was ticking on, he needed to get down to the powder trick girl.
He turned and began walking away before turning back around when a flash of guilt sent a shock through him. He would pick up the book and give it back to Albert.
But it was too late, someone else's mother had picked it up and was walking towards him, waving it in her hand and saying sometime to him, something probably along the lines of "I have your book, sweetheart".
He turned and walked; the boy probably appreciated it more from a soft spoken kind woman than from him.
~ ~ ~
"Harry" She heard her name but could not tell where it was coming from. The hustle and bustle of the Bullring made it difficult to differentiate between voices.
"Harry!" this time she felt a tug on her arm, and she turned around to be face to face with Maggie Dylan. "I've heard things this morn, things you ought to know 'bout"
Maggie Dylan was a friend, she lived a few streets over from Watery Lane and her little boy, a little older than Bertie, played cricket with him out on the street on a Sunday.
"Oh, do tell" Harry smiled, intrigued of the gossip Maggie was about to impart on her.
"There's talk that your Tommy went up and got the Chinese to do a spell on the 'orse they're taking to the races this weekend. They say she blew red powder up the 'orses nose"
Harry knew this to in fact be true, for once Maggie Dylan's gossip was correct.
"My advice Maggie" Harry looked at her and winked "put your bets on" and with that she walked away to collect her dress fabric.
She always enjoyed her walks down to the Bullring. It gave her time to think.
On this particular day, she thought about Tommy. Not that that was unusual, in fact most of what consumed her thoughts was Tommy. Was he alright? Was he sleeping enough? Was he eating enough? Was he being safe enough?
Increasingly over the past few weeks he had started to engage in riskier business, playing people at their own game. He'd become somewhat of a presence in certain areas in and around Small Heath to the point where he wouldn't have to pay.
If they entered the Garrison, drinks were now free. Tommy needed a new suit for the races. It was on the house, or the house burnt down.
Part of it made her feel sick, part of it made her feel...proud? After years of seeing and experiencing the struggle to keep food on the table, coal in the fire, it felt nice not to always have to worry about everything.
It also hadn't helped that her parents were in a flood of debt when they died and owed a lot of money to a lot of people. Because of this Harry never saw one penny of her parent's wealth when she turned 18.
It made her uneasy though, the thought of Tommy entering criminal territory. It had been this that had killed her parents. Involvement with the Sabini family.
But she knew that he did it for her. She knew the way he felt. She could see the frustration on his face when all he could afford were market bought earrings or a dress from the local maker. He hated it even more when she resorted to making her own. He wanted to provide for her, for their family. He wanted to restore to her the kind of life that she had known as a child.
And whilst she appreciated the sentiment and effort that he put in, having extreme wealth and power wasn’t something she was necessarily looking for. In fact, she had always said to him that all she really wanted was to be happy with him, their kids and to have enough to live on comfortably.
But she loved him, oh how she loved him, and so she would hold the weight of the absolute Earth in order to help him achieve whatever he wanted.
Back in Small Heath the betting shop was heaving. Word had spread fast about the powder trick and she heard each man place his bet on Monaghan Boy.
"Harry!" John came running over to her "Harry look at this" he grabbed her hand and pulled her to the back where the book sat "every bloody one of them, they're all betting on Monaghan Boy."
She squished his face between her hands "Good work, John boy" she said, her voice serious like a soldier's "keep it up and I'll promote you to head bookmaker". John saluted her, yes ma'am.
"HARRY!" Arthur's voice rang loud through the betting shop "HARRIET!"
Internally she rolled her eyes. She knew she was about to get shit for what Tommy had done, she always did. It was as though Arthur believed that Harry was Tommy's keeper, his mother and that anything he did was a direct reflection on her parenting.
"Arthur, I don't have time...I'm to pick up Albert from school" she walked passed him, calling out behind her
"He can't keep doing this, Harry" his voice was icy, and she turned to meet his glare
"Doing what?" she said exhausted, her hips in agony from the walk, her swollen belly pulling on her back. All she wanted to do was pick up her son from school and sit on a chair and talk to Pol as she cooked her dinner.
He came closer to her "You knew".
"Arthur, he's my...I'm his..." she wanted to say husband, wife, but they were not married. They hadn't enough money back before the war and she knew now that Tommy would want to wait to save some money to give her the wedding she deserved.
"Look, I don't bloody care. Next time he tells you his plans you come and tell me”He was angry, she could tell, but it boiled her blood slightly that this was becoming her problem
"Leave her alone Arthur" Tommy's voice rang out sharply as he walked up to where they were standing, face to face with his brother. "You speak to 'er like that again, you'll wish you never opened your mouth." He turned to her "Go on, sweetheart, go and pick up Albert and I'll be home for dinner."
He waited until she had left the shop before entering the office behind Arthur.
"You ever fucking speak to her like that again, I'll have you" he said.
Arthur poured himself a whisky. Tommy could tell he was trying to make himself look like he had the confidence to be in charge. He didn't. Arthur was the type of person who needed to be led, her was not a leader and he most certainly was not smart enough to make important business and family decisions.
"You were seen doing the powder trick down Garrison Court" Arthur sat back in his seat cockily.
"Times are 'ard, people need a reason to lay a bet" Tommy was straight faced, he wasn't about to play games.
"There was a Chinese" Arthur swallowed his whisky in one.
"The washer woman says she's a witch, helps them believe."
"We don't mess with the Chinese" he began to pour himself another.
"Look at the book...."
Arthur banged his fist down hard on the table "The Chinese have cutters of their own."
"We agreed, Arthur, I'm taking charge of drumming up new money."
'And what if Monaghan Boy wins Tommy, ey?' Arthur nursed his hand, his knuckles throbbing from the impact with the table "You fucking fixing races now and all? Do you have permission from Billy Kimber to fix races, ey?"
Tommy was silent. He felt his actions needed no justification. It was abundantly clear to him that within the unkind laws of succession just because Arthur was born first, he had inherited control of the family business. But Arthur was not clever enough, he was not an experienced leader. Tommy had just come off the back of four years of senior leadership in the army, he knew how to control things, how to assert the narrative a certain way and get what he wanted. He had simply grown up.
"You think we can take on the Chinese and Billy Kimber, hmm? Billy's got a bloody army!"
Tommy's patience had worn too thin and now he was no longer silent. "I think, Arthur. That's what I do." He moved over to the desk, and leaned across "I think...so that you don't have to"
Arthur couldn't meet his eye, he was out intimidated, and he waited until Tommy opened the door to leave.
"There's news from Belfast. I'm calling a family council tonight at 8 o'clock. I want us all there."
Tommy walked out; he already knew what Belfast was about because he had already done the digging. He had done the digging that a leader would know to do.
~ ~ ~
"One, two, buckle my shoe...three four..." Albert sang as they walked home.
Harry had received an especially warm reception that afternoon when picking up her son.
"I thought you were going to be Daddy" Bertie had almost sighed with relief as he hugged her.
"How was Daddy when he dropped you off this morning?" Harry asked as they made their way down the streets towards home, the snow now completely gone.
Albert shrugged and she frowned. Albert wasn't a shrugger, even when he didn't know something he would always give it a go at describing or explaining something.
"What do you mean, Mr Shrugger?" she joked, wiggling her fingers to tickle his neck.
He laughed and smiled up at her before answering "he...he just wasn't very good at it".
Harry frowned. How could anyone possibly be bad at school drop off?
"He didn't want to talk very much when we were walking there and when he dropped me off, he wasn't even going to give me a hug."
She sensed the hurt in his voice.
"I'll talk to Daddy, sweetheart, maybe he can try again tomo-"
Bertie shook his head frantically "No thank you, Mummy, I want you to take me."
She left it, believing it harmless for now. Tommy had been stressed; he was working hard to think of more ways to bring in money to the business. He had probably just been in his head...like he was most times these days.
At home, Polly cooked dinner and the three of them sat together talking about their days, Albert reeling off all the funny games he and his cousins had played at lunchtime.
Tommy didn't make it home to eat, he was elsewhere doing God knows what, Harry was so used to it she didn't even question it anymore.
After dinner Albert had a bath in the tin tub in front of the fire and then Harry took him upstairs and tucked him into bed in his fresh pajamas and read to him as she stroked his face, his gorgeous blue eyes fighting hard not to close.
"I'm just popping next door, lovely boy, but I won't be long I promise. If you need me, come and get me" she kissed his forehead, but he was already asleep.
She found Tommy in the betting shop, one minute before 8.
Walking up behind him she wrapped her arms around him and kissed the back of his neck. He didn't smile, just took her hand in his and squeezed. He was scared, she could tell, this was Tommy scared alright. But she couldn't figure out what for because she was sure it wasn't Arthur.
"Alright, I've called everyone here because there's some exciting news. Scudboat and Lovelock got back from Belfast last night. They were buying a stallion to cover the mares. They were in a pub on the Shankhill Road yesterday, and in that pub, there was a copper...handing out these" Arthur passed pieces of paper around for everyone to see.
Harry was already eager to leave, love him, but Arthur wasn't one to build up the suspense very well. She lit a cigarette and looked at the paper in her hands.
"If you're over 5 feet and can fight, come to Birmingham" John read out.
"They're recruiting Protestant Irishmen to come over here as specials" Arthur clarified.
"To do what?" Ada piped up.
"To clean up the city, Ada" Tommy said plainly "He's a Chief Inspector" Tommy directed at Arthur, and Harry knew Tommy already knew everything there was to know about this. He had done his own investigation.
"Last four years he's been clearing the IRA out of Belfast."
Arthur eyeballed him, once again feeling like his toes were being stepped on "And how do you know so bloody much?"
'Cos, I asked the coppers on our payroll' Tommy's tone was antagonizing.
"And why didn't you tell me?" Arthur started before looking at Harry "I bet you bloody knew about it and all."
"I'm telling you" Tommy's eyes stared deeply into Arthur's and all he could do in return was take a swig of whisky.
"So why are they sending him to Birmingham?" Polly directed her questioning to Tommy; she knew better than to trust Arthur to know anything useful about this.
"Well, there's been all these bloody strikes at the BSA and the Austin works lately. Now the papers are talking about sedition. and revolution I reckon it's communists he's after."
Harry's gaze shifted to Ada who suddenly looked uncomfortable in her seat.
"So there going to leave us alone, right?" Polly clarified.
"There are Irishmen in Green Lanes who left Belfast to get away from him. They say Catholic men who crossed him disappeared in the night."
"Yeah, but we aren't IRA. We fought for the bloody King" John piped up "Anyway, we're Peaky Blinders, we're not scared of coppers. If they come for us, we'll cut 'em each a smile."
'So, Arthur, is that it?' Tommy asked
"What do you think, Aunt Pol?"
"This family does everything open" She looked at Tommy "You've nothing more to say to this meeting, Thomas?"
Tommy shook his head "no, nothing that's women's business."
"This whole bloody enterprise was women's business while you boys were away at war. What's changed?"
"We came back."
"Anyway" John said "Harry's one of the boys anyways" he said jumping from his chair and throwing his arm around her neck.
Harry laughed and elbowed him in the ribs causing him to fold in on himself, wheezing. "You, see?" he squeaked "she can defend better than most blokes"
Tommy pulled her to him and kissed her "let's go home" he whispered.
She nodded, squeezing his hand "you go on ahead, I can see Polly eyeing me she wants to talk"
He lit another cigarette and took himself off out the house.
Polly stood up and took me out the back. "Whatever Thomas is up to, spit it out."
Incredulous, Harry was unsure how to respond.
"I know you know" her tone was venomous, a contrast to her usual kind motherly one.
Harry sighed and leaned against the wall "Pol..." she shook her head, could nobody see that the pregnant lady was tired and just wanted to sleep?
"I know he tells you everything" she said.
"Yes, but only when he fancies it!" Harry retorted, smiling fondly. "I knew about the powder trick, sure enough, but Tommy has not told me one single other thing about what he's up to I can promise you that."
She looked at me suspiciously, eyes squinted down to slits. "I know you're telling the truth.” She sighed "I can always tell...you're a good girl"
"Something's bothering him though, I can tell" I confessed "he's even more distant than usual."
"Tell him to meet me in the church tonight, 9pm, I'll get it out of him." Polly stepped closer and took her in a hug "Now, off to bed with you, you look exhausted."
"Night Pol" she said softly "Tommy will see you in church."
"I don't have time" Tommy said drinking whisky from his glass as they laid in bed, naked and freshly doused in each other's love.
"Tommy" she warned "I promised Polly."
"Stop doing that" he looked at her "stop making promises to people that you can't keep, not if they involve me.”
"Why?" she smiled, his arm was stretched out for her head to rest on and she turned into him and ran her hand over his chest.
"Because it'll make you look bad when I don't turn up"
"Tell me what's going on" she started "tell me what you've got going on up here" she reached her hand and pointed a finger to his forehead.
Tommy was quiet, drinking his whisky and smoking his cigarette.
"I know you, Tommy, there's more to this than just a simple bloody powder trick." She loved the way her hand fell and climbed over the different terrains of his torso "you're hiding something from me, and I don't like it."
He hated lying to her, but he also hated involving her. He wanted her as far away from his business as possible so that she couldn't get draw into his madness.
But she was the only one he could trust. The only one he knew that was equal to him, apart from Pol.
"Tommy the more I know, the more I can keep the children safe. I can plan, but only if you tell me what to prepare for" she touched his face and placed a kiss behind his ear gently.
She knew how to get him, how to guilt and seduce him. "You want us to be safe, no?"
He closed his eyes and clenched his jaw firmly as he felt her hand descend his torso into his shorts.
"I can't hear you" she teased.
"There's guns, and ammunition" he began "25 Lewis machine guns, 10,000 rounds of ammunition..." he jolted slightly under her touch "5..50 semi-automatic rifles, 200 hundred pistols with shells...All bound for Libya"
"Where are these guns?" she whispered "and how do you know about them."
"I asked my men to steal 4 motorbikes, but they picked up the wrong fucking crates. So instead, we've got guns and ammunition" he was close but she rapidly pulled her hand away and sat up much to his disappointment.
"*You* have these guns?" she clarified.
He nodded, tempted to take her hand and ask it to resume its previous activity.
"Where are you storing them?"
"Charlie's yard, they're safe for now."
"Tommy..." part of her was impressed, the other half full of dread "there are a bunch of new coppers coming to town. Chances are you'll lose most of the ones on the payroll. They won't let shit like this fly under the radar."
"So, what do you suggest I do?" he lit up another cigarette and turned to look at her. Her green eyes were glimmering.
"You're supposed to be doing little jobs, Tommy, bringing in extra money when you can. Not this. This could be dangerous; this could get you nicked" she placed a hand on her belly.
"Ey" he took her hand "don't worry, I'll shift 'em once the full moon’s passed. Sell 'em on, get the cash.”
"Promise?" she asked "because I couldn't bare it if you got locked away."
"There'll be no locking away" his hand came up and cupped her face. Her golden skin shining wonders onto him in the light of his oil lamp.
"You best be telling the truth, Mr Shelby, else I'll be very cross. Very cross indeed" she smiled, moving to straddle his lap "once more before you go and tell Polly everything you've just told me?" she whispered.
~ ~ ~
The air was fresh on her face, she felt the ice in the air as it landed on her skin and she took a deep breath to bring it all into her lungs. It felt like day by day the air quality got worse and worse from increased fumes from the factories. So, when it was cold and there was that wintery smell in the air, Harry could almost never miss a chance to take what felt like the closest thing to breathing fresh air.
She had dropped Bertie at school along with John's 4 unruly children Katie, George, Alice, and Jacob.
She had seen how much John was struggling without a woman to help look after the kids.
"I don't mind, John" Harry had reassured as she'd steeped into his house that morning. She could see he was embarrassed. All over the living room floor there were toys, clothes, dirty plates, dirty cups.
The rug was stained with God knows what and the curtains on the window were only half attached from being pulled down.
She had looked at him "let me help you."
He had rubbed his hand over his eyes in frustration and looked away from her.
"It's not a criticism, John. I think I'd have a hard time keeping the house as tidy as Martha did, with or without 4 kids." She knew how much he missed her because Harry missed her, deeply. She had always been such a kind, gentle girl.
Harry wrapped her arms around John, and he soon melted into her 'It's alright, I can help look after them"
"They run around all times of the night, Harry. They're like wild fucking animals." he sounded like he might cry.
"I can help you" she said again "now, go on, call them down here and I'll walk them to school."
On her walk back, Harry wondered how she might help John. He needed a woman, and she knew that whilst she could help him at the moment, when the baby came in August she'd be too occupied.
But her mind drifted again, when she turned the corner and saw a blonde woman in a green suit walking towards the Garrison. In all her time in Small Heath, the only women she'd seen brave enough to step in that pub were herself, Polly and any whore in the city looking for an easy bob.
The woman didn't dress like a whore, in fact, she looked put together, tidy, respectable.
But her thoughts were torn from her again when she saw Ada running towards her.
"It's Arthur" she was out of breath, and she puffed "he's been done in badly by coppers"
Harry didn't question anything and followed Ada into the house where she found Arthur sat on a chair, blood running down his face.
"Got yourself into some trouble?" she asked jokingly.
"Just a bit, Harry, think you can put me back together?"
"I'll try my ever-loving best" She kissed the top of his head and rolled up the sleeves of her blouse before telling Ada to get hot water and some clothes.
"Finn" I called, and his little head popped around the corner "find Tommy and ask him to bring me some rum."
"Okay Harry" he loved being included in the drama and so anytime she thought it was safe she would always give him a little job to do.
"You look like you've just come off the battlefield" Harry said gently wiping his wounds clean with the water.
Arthur took a deep breath as they stung.
"John, wipe the blood out of his eye" Ada said.
''Since when did you give orders?" John retorted.
"I'm a trained nurse, same as Harry."
"Don't make me laugh, hurts me face" Arthur said.
"I bloody am!" Ada said exasperated.
"You went to one first-aid class in church and got kicked out for giggling. At least Harry got some medical training during the war from the actual bloody hospital." John said.
It was true, Harry had volunteered to help with the nurses and when soldiers came back from the battlefield unable to fight, she would help rehabilitate them or keep them comfort until they passed.
'I learnt how to stop someone from choking before I was kicked out”
"Well, I'm not bloody choking, am I?" Arthur chimed in
"You will be when i ring this cloth around your neck."
"Let me see him" as usual Tommy wanted to take charge as soon as he arrived and moved Ada out of the way before placing his hand on Harry's hip to signal for her to move.
"I'll move when I'm done, thank you very much. From what I remember it was actually me who asked Finn to tell you to get that rum" she raised an eyebrow at him, and he stepped back slightly.
But as soon as she turned her back to grab another cloth, Tommy was dousing the dirty one in rum and placing it on Arthur's head. Harry rolled her eyes and sat down as Polly shook her head and threw her hands up. It was clear the two women felt the same about him, tired of his antics.
"He said Mr Churchill sent him to Birmingham" Arthur said, gripping Tommy's arm "National interest, he said. Something about a robbery." Tommy took a deep breath and almost stumbled backwards.
From her seat, Harry's eyes were fixed sharply on Tommy as were Polly's. She knew he still had those guns and ammunition; full moon be fucked.
For a split second she almost laughed. He looked...uncomfortable. Was he nervous? Was he scared that he'd taken on too much? Played too heavily with the big boys and now they were after him?
"He said he wanted us to help him" Arthur started again.
'We don't help fucking coppers" John spat.
"He knew all about our war records" Arthur went on "he said we're patriots...like him. He wants us to be his eyes and ears."
Tommy looked at Polly and then fixed his eyes on Harry. She could read the thoughts in his head; he was already plotting how to get out of this.
"Are we sure he's actually a patriot?" she turned to Arthur who looked confused at what she was implying "are we certain he even served?"
"Why wouldn't he of?" Arthur said.
"Because normally the ones who shout about it are the ones who never went" Harry spelt it out to him and then she shrugged. "I don't know, maybe he was cavalry, almost the same thing, isn't it? You know, always late, never there."
Tommy's eyes never left her, she knew he needed a way out of this, at least until the guns were gone.
Arthur ignored her "I said we'd take a family vote on it." Silence. "Well why not, hmm? We have no truck with Fenians or communists."
Tommy stared aimlessly as Arthur spoke.
"What's wrong with you?" Arthur snapped. For someone in charge of the business he sure did need a lot of approval from his younger brother, Harry thought.
Arthur turned to Harry "What the fuck is up with him, lately?!"
Harry shrugged "If I knew I'd buy the cure from Compton's Chemists." But she knew alright.
~ ~ ~
Out of everything, the thing Albert missed the most was being able to go to his mother in the night.
Since his father had returned, he was too scared to enter their bedroom. In the night he could hear Tommy fighting with his own nightmares and the one time he had attempted to enter his father had awakened with an almighty bang, his chest pounding, his eyes wild.
It had been Harry who'd wrapped her arms around Tommy and laid him back, his face buried in her neck as he caught his breath and lowered his heartbeat, and she gently soothed him by whispering things in his ear and rubbing her hand up and down his back.
He knew he couldn't cry, not really, not if Tommy was in earshot. He had cried just the other night when his toy had broken, and Tommy had raged telling him to grow up.
"it's just a toy, ey? it's not important" he'd thrown his hands up.
"Tommy" Harry chastised "don't take this out on him."
"It's a fucking toy, Harry, why's he got to cry about it?" he turned back to Albert "stop with the crying!"
Tommy's shouting had only made him cry harder from fear and he'd run upstairs to hide under his bed.
"That was disgusting" Harry spat him "that is not the Tommy Shelby I fell in love with. You got yourself into this mess. You might feel miserable about it, but don't you dare drag him down too."
Harry had gone and hugged him until he'd fallen asleep, but he didn't see Tommy again that night and he definitely did not receive an apology.
He found it difficult to understand his mother's mind, how she could love this...monster.
He felt like he'd been lied to. She had told him so many stories of how gentle he was, funny, loving, playful. But all Bertie had seen was anger, destruction, and coldness.
Harry asked him to be a good boy and to have patience because of what his father had been through during the war, but he couldn't figure out why his father couldn't return the same courtesy to him. He was a four-year-old little boy, he didn’t know any better.
He didn't even need his father; he'd done a sterling job looking after his mother for the last four years anyway and they'd been so happy. It seemed like all the dangerous things came along when Tommy came back, like he brought a little war back with him. One to tear his family apart.
He saw the way John was with George and Jacob, playing out in the streets with them after dinner. Sometimes he’d sit at the window and watch them play cricket in the street together or get a glimpse as John rushed after them pretending to be a German soldier coming to get them. Tommy had never even shown interest in playing snakes and ladders with him.
It was Saturday morning; Harry had woken up early and had lit a fire downstairs in the living room.
Albert could smell the faint traces of breakfast being cooked and he made his way downstairs, tying his dressing gown tight around his weight. His bare feet on the wood cold from the draughts that curled under the doors.
“Good morning, my darling” Harry said, putting down her spatula and taking him into her arms.
“Morning Mama” he said sleepily, resting his head in the crook of her neck. She smelled like vanilla, and it comforted him as he wrapped his arms around her tighter.
“What do you want to do today, my love?” She asked him gently as she turned the bacon in the pan.
“Can we play trains?” He was obsessed with the wooden train set gifted to him by Arthur the Christmas before. The set had three different coloured trains, red, blue, and green. The tracks were like giant puzzle pieces and there were thousands of variations the track could be with bridges and little painted trees and a station.
“Of course, we can” she kissed his cheek and set him back on the ground “maybe you could ask Daddy if he’ll play some cricket with you as well?” She was aware that they hadn’t bonded well with each other, and she also knew that Tommy needed one day just to let off some steam.
Albert shook his head no.
“Why not, sweetheart?” She crouched to his height.
“He doesn’t like me very much” Albert tried to say this with a brave face, but tears had collected in his eyes and were threatening to fall.
“Oh darling, Daddy loves you. He loves you so so much, he’s just a bit grumpy every now and again” it broke Harry’s heart to know that her son felt like this
“He doesn’t love me like Uncle John loves my cousins” he mumbled as a tear ran down his cheek.
Harry was keen not to downplay her son’s feeling on the topic and made sure not to overcompensate on Tommy’s behalf. She was well aware that he needed to make more of an effort for his son.
“How about we take a picnic up to the meadow? Just the three of us? You can take your cricket ball and bat and once we’ve had some lunch, we can all play cricket?” This seemed like a logical compromise.
The thought pondered in Bertie’s brain, and she saw him weighing it up.
“I’ll be right there, darling, and I’ll make sure Daddy doesn’t shout” she couldn’t believe she was having to say this. Before the war Tommy had been wonderful with kids. He’d play out on the streets with Finn for hours on a Sunday and if Ada wanted to play dolls he’d happily comply.
It made her tear up thinking she’d lost that person.
“Okay” his voice was small “but I might not be able to hit the ball very well.”
“That’s what practicing is for” Harry whispered poking his belly gently trying to extract a laugh from him “no one would be able to do anything well if they didn’t practice first.”
Eventually she hit the right spot on his left side, and he bent over and a laugh fell from his mouth.
Tommy walked lazily down the stairs to see the two of them laughing together.
“Tommy!” Harry called, standing up with a wide smile on her face.
“We’re going to the meadow today, the three of us. We’ll have a picnic and then we’ll play some cricket. We haven’t done much just the three of us in a long time and I think we all need to clear our heads.”
Internally he sighed, he needed to find a place to hide these guns. He didn’t have time to be picnicking and cricketing in the bloody meadow.
“I need-“but he wasn’t allowed to finish
“You can do that tomorrow” his wife was firm with him.
“Harry- “
“I said, Tommy, you can do that tomorrow. Albert wants to play cricket with us today, so that’s what we’re going to do.”
He knew better than to sigh or roll his eyes. And so, he sat at the table and nodded his head.
“Breakfast?” She asked.
“Not ‘ungry” he replied pouring himself a cup of tea from the pot.
She ignored him, walking back to the kitchen and whispering for Bertie to go and sit with his father.
“Go and cheer him up “
Albert was apprehensive, but his mother’s encouraging smile gave him some confidence.
“Morning Daddy” he spoke, crawling onto the seat beside him.
Tommy looked away from the paper he was reading and nodded to his son.
“Did you play cricket when you were little?”
Tommy cleared his throat “no”
“What sports did you play?”
“I rode ‘orses” his voice was deep from sleep.
"Can I ride one of your horses today? Can you show me?" Bertie asked. He realised his father was not into cricket as much as he and in an effort to try and bond with his dad he was willing to try something new.
"You want to ride?" Tommy questioned, surprised.
"Uh huh" Bertie nodded his head "But only if I can do it with you.”
Tommy nodded "I'll bring Star, gentle 'orse that one." He almost smiled at his son before going back to his paper.
From the kitchen, Harry's heart skipped a little beat. Finally, something they could do together, something Tommy could teach him.
~ ~ ~
"Right, my boy" Tommy said, Albert perched in front of him on the horse. "Just relax, I've got you."
Tommy gently kicked the horse forward and they walked slowly up into the Meadow, Harry walking beside them, picnic basket in hand.
Albert leaned back into his father. Tommy's arm was wrapped around the boy's waist and his hand on Albert's chest to prevent him falling. Albert rested both his little hands on top of Tommy's. He quite liked the view from up here. He felt safe in his father's arms.
They walked and walked until they came to a tree and Tommy handed Albert down to harry before climbing off himself and letting the horse graze.
Harry laid out the picnic blanket and the food she had made. Sandwiches and tea, biscuits and left over cake from Aunt Pol.
"Mummy this is yummy" Albert smiled, mouth full of cheese and ham sandwich.
She stroked his cheek and placed a kiss on his head "I'm glad you like it, sweetheart. Did you like riding on Star with Daddy?"
"I loved it!"
Harry hadn't seen him this happy in a while. His little legs bounced out in front of him in his happy excitement.
"Will you try some cricket, Daddy?" Bertie asked "Mummy brought the bat and ball"
Tommy drank whisky from his hip flask and nodded his head "you'll have to teach me though, I'm not much good with bats and balls."
In his excitement Albert let out a yell before throwing himself onto Tommy, wrapping his arms around him for a hug.
Tommy was still for a second before reciprocating and placing a kiss on the side of his head.
"Come on then, show me how good you are" Tommy said standing up and brushing the loose grass off himself.
Albert grabbed the bat and as Tommy threw the ball, it went flying off to the right.
"SIX!" Bertie screamed beginning to run to the imaginary stumps.
Tommy hadn't a clue what that meant but it made him smile to see his son run clumsily with a bat half his size.
They played into the afternoon, with Tommy helping to teach Bertie how to throw the ball better underarm. Harry was a fielder, trying desperately to catch the ball whenever she could.
"OUT! Well done Mummy for catching the ball!" Bertie shouted, proud of his mother.
"You caught me out, ey?" Tommy smirked, turning to her and taking her in his arms.
"I always catch you out, Tommy" she said coyly, placing her forehead on his and looking into his sapphire eyes.
"Thank you" he said quietly before kissing her "today's been nice.”
"See? Sometimes you just need to take your foot off the accelerator a bit. You don't want to blink and miss your life, Tommy. He'll only be little once" she said pointing to Bertie "And he adores you."
"He's a good kid, you've done well with him" Tommy praised, brushing the blonde tresses out of her eyes.
"Now it's your turn. You get to make your mark on him, teach him things, show him new things, make sure he knows how to get into just enough trouble to have fun”
Tommy didn't know what to say in response and so he gently placed his hands on her waist and slowly guided her side to side as if they were dancing gently to music.
She placed her head on his shoulder, smelling his cologne. Over his shoulder, she could see Albert throwing and catching the cricket ball to himself, running frantically to pretend he was catching a ball that had been hit. She smiled; this is what home was meant to feel like.
~ ~ ~
By the time they returned home, Albert was asleep in Tommy's arms, head resting gently on his shoulder.
It was getting darker, and an icy chill was picking up in the air.
Tommy ascended the stairs and tucked Bertie into bed placing a kiss on his forehead. "Night, Son. Thanks for the good day"
Downstairs harry had lit a fire and was sat lounging on the sofa reading a book.
"I best head down to Charlie's yard" Tommy said, pouring a whisky "Should get rid of the guns."
Harry nodded "Probably smart" she agreed. "Thank you, for today. Thank you for just taking today to.... not do business things."
"It felt nice" Tommy looked at her, sprawled on the sofa, her red dress flowing over her body.
"Do what you think is right, with the guns" Harry said.
He frowned slightly "I thought you wanted me to-"
"Do whatever you think is the right thing to do, just keep us safe" she confirmed.
Chapter 3: The sun hesitates more on each evening's darkening.
Summary:
Tommy's escapades lead him into trouble at home.
Notes:
Prepare for Tommy and Harry bickering and Albert finding out more than he probably should.
Thanks for reading, feel free to comment :)
Chapter Text
Harry opened her eyes, sleep still feeling heavy on her eyelids.
Tommy was up and getting dressed and she could hear Albert knocking about in his room. She glanced at the clock.
"Tommy, why did you let me sleep in this late?" her voice was thick, and her lips dry from lack of water.
"I thought you needed the rest" he said, coming and sitting next to her on the bed "I told Albert I'd take him to the fair today."
She was surprised but happy. Since their family picnic in the meadow Albert and Tommy had grown fonder of each other. They played cards at night, and on weekends Tommy would take Albert out on the horses.
"You want to come with us?" his voice was gentle as he rubbed his hand softly on her pregnant belly.
She shook her head, smiling. "You two go, it'll be nice for you to spend some time together."
He kissed her forehead and stood up, grabbing his jacket. "Do something for you today, ey? Have a bath or read your book in front of the fire. I don't want to come back and find you've cleaned the 'ole fucking house."
Harry nearly laughed at him; he was so paranoid this whole pregnancy that she was overdoing it. He hated when she cleaned the house top to bottom, thought it was silly for her to walk to the Bullring and was baffled by her persistent asking for him to give her a job.
"Yes, Sir" she looked at him with a mischievous grin and brought the covers back up to her chin.
"I love you" he said, gazing at her.
"I love you, Tommy" she blew a kiss to him "have fun."
She turned and saw Albert at the bedroom door, excitement ready to burst out of him.
"Have fun, my darling" Harry said "be good for your Daddy."
"I will Mummy, I'll win you something at the fair!" Albert called as he ran off down the hall "Come on, Daddy!"
"I'm being summoned, I best be on me way" He leaned in and placed a kiss on her lips "If anything happens, Pol's only next door."
She nodded "Go, I'll be fine I promise."
He looked at her a moment longer as he lit his cigarette, taking her in, before following Albert.
~ ~ ~
Albert sat in the back of the motor in between John and Finn. He watched intently out the window as they passed field after green field. It was a nice change from Small Heath where he felt it was perpetually dark, cold, and full of smoke from the factories.
"I thought you said we were going to the fair" Arthur grumbled as Tommy parked the car at a gypsy camp.
"It's Johnny dogs!" Bertie shouted, "Daddy can I go and play?"
"Not today, son, we've got some business" Tommy replied "Come on" he directed at John and Arthur.
As Tommy was talking away to Johnny Dogs, Albert's eyes met the stunning white horse that was being led up from the field. He watched Tommy inspect the horse and it took everything in him not to jump out of the car and race over. He wanted to be involved, he'd picked up a thing or two about horses since he'd been out riding with Tommy, and he loved spending time listening to Curly go on and on about all things horses.
Suddenly the atmosphere seemed to change. Albert could sense his father was no longer at ease.
Three gypsys stood further down the hill near a fire. They seemed to be laughing about something, Albert couldn't quite make out what.
"Are you Lee boys laughing at my brother?" Tommy said flicking his cigarette away "are you? EY?"
Albert could tell Tommy was about to do something unpleasant.
"Tommy!" Johnny Dogs yelled "Tommy."
"I asked you a question" Tommy said.
"Tommy, come on its just the craic" Johnny Dogs said getting in the middle of them "Get your family out of here and go and enjoy the fair before they start a war, ey?"
Johnny Dogs turned and spoke in Romani, Albert couldn't make out a lot of what he was saying but from his limited experience hearing Polly or his father speak it he could make out that he was telling them his father's grandfather was a king.
A king?! Tommy had never mentioned that before. Albert couldn't wait to go home and tell his mother. A king?! He wondered where he had been king of...
"Yeah, but his mother was a Didicoy whore" one of the Lee brothers piped up.
Tommy had begun making his way back to the car but upon hearing this he turned and grabbed his cap off his head, as did John and Arthur, and Albert saw as they erupted into full-on attack.
Tommy sliced his cap along one of the brother's eyes, blinding him, as John and Arthur began their own tirade.
Albert watched, his breath caught in his chest as his father beat these men, stamping on them, hitting them. It felt like it was never going to end. He felt as though he were watching an animal.
He watched as Arthur cut a smile to one of their mouths and his father head butted another before kicking his face in again and again.
He wanted to cry. His mother had always told him that violence wasn't the answer, but this was beyond violent. This was brutal savagery.
His little chest beat up and down quickly, he knew he had to compose himself before his father came back.
Finn wrapped an arm around him, he knew Harry would want someone looking out for Albert if he felt sad. "It's alright, Bertie, sometimes they can do scary things. You'll get used to it one day. That's what you have to do when people are nasty about your family, you have to protect them."
Finn's words calmed him slightly but no matter how much he loved his family he was sure he never wanted to be in a position where he had to defend them like that.
~ ~ ~
Down Watery Lane, the day had started softly for Harry. She had taken a bath, made herself a sandwich and had settled in the armchair in front of the fire with a new novel, 'the Moon and Sixpence' which she had heard was based loosely on painter Paul Gauguin.
She was 20 or so pages through the book when she heard horses’ hooves outside the window. She smiled to herself thinking it was probably Tommy brought home a horse from the fair to surprise her.
Suddenly, the hooves died down and there was an eerie silence that made her frown and look up from her book.
Yelling and the sound of police whistles rattled through Watery Lane as she heard doors being kicked open forcefully. The sounds of children screaming and wives pleading for officers to take their hands off their husbands could be heard through closed windows.
She was startled again as her own door was kicked in and two police officers with batons stood glaring at her in the living room.
"Where is he, then?" one of them asked "your delightful Tommy?"
She shook her head "he's not here" she felt fear in her stomach. She was a pregnant lady alone in a house with two men. She could feel the life seeping out of her.
But they didn't give her a moment longer to worry. They grabbed her, forcing her arms behind her back, baton shoved violently into her ribs and carried her outside before throwing her to the ground and going back into the house.
Polly's door opened next door and she immediately raced to Harry's side. "What happened, how did they hurt you?"
"They threw me, jabbed me in the ribs" she groaned.
"Tommy'll make them pay for this" Polly said looking around "stay here and I'll grab something."
But she shook her head and grasped Polly's hand so she couldn't go. "Look" she nodded her head to the countless men and women curled up outside their houses just as she was. Nobody was helping them. "These people are just as hurt as I am, once they've left, we can go and see that they're okay"
"Harry, you're fucking pregnant now let go and let me get something to ease your pain. If you still feel like playing nurse after that then fine, but we should make sure your baby is alright first."
Polly came back shortly with something for Harry to drink. Police had gone through her house and turned it upside down but clearly found nothing.
Harry's face was one of disgust as she downed the liquid in the cup "feel my belly. Make sure they're alright.”
Polly felt along her stomach, a look of concentration on her face before a smile. "The baby's fine"
Harry breathed a sigh of relief "We can't tell Tommy, he'll only kickoff"
"You think Tommy won't know when he sees the great big bruise that's going to be on your ribs?" Polly chuckled "He'll know alright."
Once the police had left, Polly helped Harry to her feet, and they glanced down the street. People's whole lives seemed to be scattered on the street. Clothes, furniture, toys.
She immediately began tending to people, helping them back inside, nursing their wounds. But it seemed to her that this would go on for hours. Every single house had been ransacked.
"Why would they do that, Harry?" Dorothy Williams cried, watching as Harry disinfected her husband's head wound "I thought those coppers were, you know, on your Tommy's side?"
"Strange things are happening at the moment Dotty, they've sent new police over from Northern Ireland...it's all very complicated." Harry wasn't sure how much she was allowed to say, but she was sure that she wanted people to know that this was not something Tommy would have orchestrated or condoned.
"Bloody disgusting" Harold Parker said when she visited his family to check on his wife and children "I saw the way they man-handled you, love, I can only imagine what will happen when your Tommy 'ears about that."
It was dark when Tommy returned. Furniture lined the streets and he saw as people were carrying it back into their homes. Doors kicked in; windows smashed.
"Daddy, why's Mummy at Mr. Parker's house?" Albert asked, he had a clear view into their living room as the window had been smashed cleanly through.
Tommy turned to face Albert "Not a word to Mummy about what happened with the Lees" he said pointing his finger at his son.
Albert swallowed hard; he didn't want to lie to his mother.
"Jesus Christ" Tommy sighed before parking the car and going to find Harry.
"What the 'ell has happened?" Tommy said, standing in Harold Parker's doorway.
"Tommy!" Harry ran to hug him "the police, they broke into everyone's house, they took things, they hurt-"
"Did they hurt you?" Tommy was quick to make sure she was okay.
"No, I'm fine" she didn't want to lie to him but her being hurt shouldn't be his biggest priority at that moment. "Come on, Polly's at home, we can congregate there."
"Thanks so much, Harry, I know we all appreciate what you've done to help" Harold said.
"Of course," Harry replied "if you or Josie need anything else, don't hesitate to call in"
"You been hauling furniture back into people's 'ouses?" Tommy asked as they walked to Polly’s.
"No, just mending people's injuries. They didn't hold back, Tommy, they hurt a lot of people."
He didn't reply as the entered Polly's house. Everyone was situated in the kitchen.
"What the bloody hell happened?" Tommy asked.
"The coppers told everyone Arthur agreed to it when he got arrested" Polly said "They said the Peaky Blinders had cleared out to the fair to let them do it."
"I never said nothing to that bloody copper about smashing up bloody houses" Arthur said, agitated.
"I did tell people it wasn't to do with you when I went round to tend to people afterwards" Harry said "I mentioned they had new police, but I didn't go into detail. Most people took it well."
"All right, thank you Harry...which pubs did they do?" Tommy asked.
"The Guns, The Chain, The Marquis" Polly listed "All the ones that pay you to protect them. Only one they didn't touch was the Garrison. You lads need to go and make sure people know we were in on it. This copper's smart."
Harry did a double take. "Make sure people know...I've just gone house to house to make sure people don't blame them.”
"Makes us look weak" Arthur said.
"It makes you look weak?" Harry asked, annoyance bubbling away inside of her "it makes you look fucking weak? It makes you look like you don't give a shit about your own people. Those people out there were bruised and battered today, they had their whole lives ripped out of their homes and flung onto the streets!"
"It's alright" Tommy said, holding up his hand to Harry "hand out some cash to the landlords of the pubs, pay some veterans to fix the places up."
"You think cash will solve this?" Harry demanded "You think you can just destroy people's possessions and it can be paid off?"
"Look, we get more leverage if they think we were in on it, alright?" Tommy lit a cigarette "they didn't hurt you; you see what that looks like? Looks like it was intentional, like they purposefully kept their hands off you because of us."
"And what if they did?" Harry asked.
"What?" Tommy replied with a sense of arrogance and annoyance mixed into one.
"What if they did hurt me? Ey? Would that change things?"
"You said they didn’t."
"I said that because I thought you'd be madder, that you might do something stupid to that new copper."
Tommy was confused.
"They dragged me from our house, just like all the others. They jabbed a baton into my ribs, and they threw me on the ground. Everybody saw."
Harry saw Tommy's jaw tighten in fury "and why the fuck did you not tell me this sooner, ey?"
"The baby's fine, Tommy, Polly's already dealt with it. I don't need you getting all violent and protective now, okay? Just, a bit of decency wouldn't go amiss, alright? The people on this street have respect for you, don't make them fear you."
From the stairs, Albert sat watching. He saw the fury that had been inside his father that afternoon.
'I need to go to Charlie's to stable the 'orse. She looked foot shy in the box" he announced.
She looked at him "you brought home another hor-" she shook her head "never mind that, go out on those streets and do something that puts you back in control without making everyone hate you."
Polly closed the doors.
"Right, shut up, the two of you." she snapped "we all know what they were looking for."
Harry shuffled uncomfortably. The guns.
"You don't read the papers" Polly stated.
"Racing papers" Tommy said casually, as though none of this was of consequence to him.
"So let me tell you the odds. I reckon it's 3/1 that there'll be a revolution."
Tommy shook his head "I wouldn't bet on that."
"That copper's betting on it" she replied "he's not going to let it rest until he gets those guns back."
"Did he talk to you, Pol?" Tommy sat down, taking a drag of his cigarette.
"In the church"
"Did he try to find our Ada?" Tommy asked, eager to know what was keeping his sister so occupied these days.
"She was sleeping."
Tommy laughed. It took Harry of guard, it seemed genuine.
"Where was she sleeping, Pol?"
"I thought you didn't care for women's business?" Polly said coyly "He knows you're the boss, he wants to meet you. Will you talk to him?"
"No..." Tommy shook his head "you don't parley when you're on the back foot. We'll strike a blow back first. Harry's right, the people on these streets deserve respect. They deserve to have their voices heard." He stood, lighting another cigarette before grabbing his jacket and leaving.
Polly stared at Harry intensely "you better prepare yourself for whatever he's about to do. I can't believe it's going to be pretty."
"Albert!" Harry heard Tommy shout for their son and tiny footsteps running after him.
~ ~ ~
Albert walked into the Garrison and hauled himself onto the bar before grabbing the picture of the King.
"Albert, lad. What're you doing?" man behind the bar said.
'We're having a fire" he called, before running out to meet his father.
"You alright, Albert?" he heard as he ran to find Tommy.
"Alright, Scud" Albert called back as John ruffled his hair and smiled cheekily at him.
"Got it, Dad!" Albert said, finding Tommy.
"Good lad, go on, throw it on the fire."
Albert threw it and watched as sparks flew from the burning pyre. He was mesmerized as the flames licked higher and higher.
Suddenly there was a reporter standing next to them, speaking to his father.
"You're Mr Shelby?" the reporter asked.
"I am"
"What's going on?"
"There are some things that I want you to write down. Now, first...it's not that people round here are disloyal to the King. It's the opposite. You see, we don't want our beloved King looking down and seeing the things that are being done to us. So, we are taking down his pictures."
"But why are you burning them?" the reporter queried.
"We went through Hell for our King. Walked through the flames of war...write all this down. And now we're being attacked in our own homes. Pregnant women being flung out into the streets, men being battered for no reason. These new coppers over from Belfast breaking into our homes and interfering with our women. We don't think our King would like to see that happening. So, we're lighting fires to raise the alarm."
"May I ask in what capacity do you speak?"
"No capacity. I'm an ordinary man, with an ordinary family." He placed his hand on Albert's shoulder in front of him and the reporter looked down at the grinning lad "I won gallantry medals at the Somme. I want you to write in your paper what's going on 'ere. Go on, go."
"Daddy?" Albert asked once the reporter was gone "did they hurt Mummy?"
"Not too badly, son" Tommy said picking him up "just a little bit. She's alright though, told me so herself."
"Can we go home and see her now? I want to tell her about what we did at the fair."
Tommy nodded his head, throwing his cigarette into the fire and walking down the road to their house.
"Mr Shelby?"
Tommy turned to see Joseph Cotton catching up to him, beer in hand.
"I just wanted to say, whether you knew about it or not, what they did to your...Harry" people were never sure how to title her since they weren't married "it was awful."
Tommy nodded his head "We have the upper 'and don't you worry" he reassured.
Inside the house, Harry was cleaning the mess.
"What did I tell you about cleaning the 'ouse, ey?" Tommy joked as he set Albert on the ground.
"Well," Harry put her hands out in front of her gesturing to the mess caused earlier in the day.
"It's done, Harry" he said, coming closer to her "I've put it right."
"People understand?" she asked.
"They understand"
"We made a huge bonfire Mummy!" Albert said jumping up and down.
"I saw, my darling!" Harry said, putting down her duster and taking Bertie into her arms. "Now, I want to hear all about your day at the fair!"
She sat him on her knee on the sofa and listened as his mouth ran rings over what he was saying. He told her all about the rides and the games they had played, all the food he had eaten and about the lovely horse they'd brought home.
"And!" he held his hands out in wonder "I won you this!" he exclaimed, running to the bag he'd been carrying and pulled out a small ceramic figurine of a lady in a pink dress, holding an umbrella.
"Oh darling! It's lovely" she hugged him tightly and kissed his head "I'll put her above the fire."
"She reminded me of you" he said, because she has blonde hair, and she looks very pretty."
The figurine stood pristine against the rest of the downstairs of the house and Tommy felt it seemed quite fitting. Just like real life, Harry stood a cut above the rest of Small Heath.
"Go put your pyjamas on" Harry said gently, I'll be up in a minute for a story.
"He picked it himself" Tommy referenced the figurine "I told him to get a teddy, but he was adamant he wanted that"
"It's beautiful" her voice was soft. There was a silence between them for a minute. "I'm sorry if I got myself too involved, I just hate seeing people round here get hurt like that."
He moved closer to her and wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing her. "Sssh, you didn't do anything wrong."
"And you're sure it won't happen again?"
"I'm sure. I’ve sorted it out, it's fine, we won’t be on the back foot for much longer."
She relaxed into him and closed her eyes as she laid her head on his chest.
The police had broken the gramophone, but they swayed against each other anyway, dancing along to an invisible tune only the two of them were familiar with.
"Promise me you're alright" He whispered, his mouth behind her ear.
"I'm fine, I promise" she shuddered as his breath tickled her neck "But I can show you my bruise once I've put Albert to sleep."
"I'd like that" he ran his fingers over her waist, pulling her closer as they moved down over her bum.
"Give me 10 minutes. I'll meet you in the bedroom" she breathed heavily as he began to bite lightly on her neck, behind her ear, pawing at her.
"He'll be alright, he's probably already asleep" Tommy mumbled into her skin.
For a second, she let herself fall into him as she felt him against her thigh...but she snapped out of it. "Tommy, he'll be sad if I don't go and tuck him in." she pulled away from him and he sighed.
"Go to the bedroom, I'll be quick" she said over her shoulder as she climbed the stairs leaving him alone.
~ ~ ~
At Curly's yard the next morning Albert was following Tommy around excitedly "Can I ride, Daddy?"
"Curly grab me a Spanish saddle" Tommy said, turning to Albert "course, my boy. Just don't tell your mother."
Tommy had reassured Harry that Albert wouldn't be sitting anywhere near the new horse until he had ridden it first, but he couldn't resist his son's excited grin.
Albert felt a sense of uneasiness creep back into him, he felt it every time his father asked him not to mention things to his mother. On the one hand he wanted to be honest to his mother, he didn't enjoy keeping secrets from her and he certainly didn't like that his father did. On the other hand, he wanted to be his father's best friend and he knew that he needed to keep his trust in order to do that.
"Fine beast you got there Thomas. But is he really worth falling out with the Lee family over?" Charlie piped up from the bench he was sat on.
Albert saw him place a bullet on the table.
"Just passing it on" Charlie said "...a declaration of war - the whole Lee clan."
Albert moved closer to his father and saw him fiddle with the bullet.
Charlie looked apprehensively at Albert before lowering his voice "the guns and now this?"
Tommy crouched down "The guns are not spoken of. Alright?" his tone was icy.
"Tommy..."
Tommy turned furiously.
"You mind how you speak to me."
"Forgive me, Uncle" he grabbed Albert's shoulder and led him to the horse before lifting him from under his arms onto the saddle.
Albert had never been this far up, and he looked at his father for encouragement, but Tommy was in his head and was pulling the horse on.
"It's Tommy Shelby against the bloody world, right?" Charlie called.
They walked from the docks back up towards the Garrison. Albert got slowly more relaxed on the horse until they walked towards the pub and the fires along the walk billowed out aggressively.
The horse reared up slightly and Albert grabbed onto its mane "Daddy!"
"Sit up straight!" Tommy's voice was firm, but Albert was panicking.
"Easy....easy, easy. Whoa. Easy boy" Tommy stood in front of the horse and pressed his hand gently on its nose. "Sssh, sssh, sssh. In France we used to say..." the horses head jolted "Sssh. In France we used to say it's just the music hall band turning up. Ssh. It's just trombones and tubas, that's all. It's just noise. Ssh, ssh, ssh. It's just noise. Hey, it's just noise. You get used to it."
Albert watched as Tommy calmed the horse down completely.
"It's just noise. Good boy. Good boy." Tommy looked up at Bertie "You alright, my boy?"
Bertie nodded his head, his cheeks flushed from shock.
They continued walking but Tommy could see the horse was struggling. "You have some pain there boy, hey?"
Suddenly a lady stepped out and threw a bucket of old water onto the street in front of them. The horse reared again, catching Albert off guard and before he knew it, he was falling sideways.
He clenched his eyes shut and anticipated hitting the hard cold floor. But it never came. Two warm hands caught him and gently set him on his feet.
He opened his eyes and saw a woman with blonde hair had caught him.
"I'm so sorry, Mr Shelby" her voice was soft, she had an accent, but it was different from his mother's. "I'm Grace, by the way"
"I know who you are" Tommy replied.
"What's his name?" She asked, looking at the horse.
"He doesn't have a name."
"Poor boy deserves a name." She turned to Albert "what d'you think?"
Albert was about to reply when Tommy interrupted "D'you have something to say to me?"
"The other night you came into the pub, and I was singing...You said singing wasn't allowed. I'd like there to be one night a week where there is singing. I think it will be good for everyone...Saturday nights. Harry was too afraid to ask you, so."
"Daddy why was Mummy too afraid to ask you?" Bertie piped up.
"Oh, I meant the Harry from the pub" she corrected herself.
"But you're not."
Bertie saw something flicker in Tommy's eye, something he hadn't seen before.
"I am" she nodded "but I love to sing."
"You sound like one of those rich girls who comes over from Dublin from the races. D'you like 'orses?" Tommy grabbed Albert and mounted the horse "how d'you fancy earning some extra money?"
"Doing what?" she enquired.
"Dig out a nice dress, I want to take you to the races" and with that Tommy kicked the horse forward and they rode off through the streets.
Sat in his father's arms, Bertie couldn't quite get his head around what had just happened. Why had his father asked another lady to go to the races with him? What about taking his mother?
~ ~ ~
Harry looked at Ada in disbelief.
"You have to promise you won't tell Tommy; he'll kill him!" she cried
Harry shook her head "I won't tell bloody Tommy; he's bound to overreact. Oh Ada!" she took Ada in her arms and squeezed her tight. "Another little baby for the family"
"They'll be so close in age" Ada smiled as she looked at Harry's belly. "D'you care it's Freddie's?"
Harry laughed "Do I care? Ada don't be ridiculous, only foolish people wouldn't have seen this coming. He's been pining after you since we were kids."
"Thanks Harry" she sighed "I feel all weird. Only you and Aunt Pol know, I just wish I could tell everyone, but Tommy will go off on one"
"Oh, fuck Tommy" Harry said "Don't let him ruin this moment for you. I'm sure there'd be plenty of people in my family who'd faint if they knew Tommy was the father of my children."
Ada laughed "shall we go to the pictures and watch that new Rudolph Valentino?"
"Good idea!" Harry replied grabbing her purse "come on, we'll make it a happier day yet" she linked her arms through Ada's and off they went to the pictures.
They grabbed popcorn and went and found their seat, giggling like schoolgirls, and as the film started playing, they watched intently. That was, until the door burst open and in walked Tommy.
They both sighed.
"Here we go" Harry whispered.
He sat down in a huff "Tell me his name, Ada."
"Rudolph Valentino" she replied sarcastically.
Tommy wasted no time in getting up aggressively from his seat, the whole row shaking, and making his way to tell them to turn the picture off.
The lights turned on and Tommy came back in, seething. "Get out! All of you!" he shouted "Go on! Now!"
Tommy came back and stood next to them "I said tell me his fucking name."
"Tommy leave her alone" Harry sat forward so she could see his face.
"Keep out of this" Tommy said, pointing his finger.
"It's none of your business!" Harry shouted.
Ada turned her head to address Tommy. "Freddie fucking Thorne!"
Tommy looked incredulous. He didn't want those words to be true.
"Yeah" Ada went on "Your best mate since school! The man who saved your life in France! So go on! Go on, cut him!"
Tommy wasted no time in storming out of the picture house.
"Cut him up and chuck him in the Cut!" she yelled before turning round in her seat and calling out "Oi! I'm a Shelby too, you know. Put my fucking film back on!"
The film started again, and Harry leaned in and placed her head on Ada's shoulder "leave him to it, he won't hurt Freddie he's too soft. He just likes to be in people's business these days, especially when it doesn't concern him."
Ada turned and rested her head on Harry's laughing "I'll never understand how you two make such a good pair."
Harry smiled. Even when Tommy was being as annoying as he was at that moment, she still loved him more than anyone could even fathom.
~ ~ ~
When Harry got back from the pictures that night, Polly was in their house tidying up.
"Where's Tommy?"
"Next door, counting bets, or sulking who knows" Polly replied "I've put Albert down upstairs, he was talking all sorts of nonsense to me, silly boy."
Harry laughed "mind staying here a minute longer so I can speak to Tommy?"
Polly poured herself a whisky and made herself comfortable "be careful, he's in a frightful mood" she smirked.
Harry rolled her eyes, smiling.
"Oh! And Monaghan Boy finally lost, so tell him he needs to return every bet that was made by someone on Watery Lane. We're not in the business of robbing our own."
Harry went next door and found Tommy with a whisky, staring into the abyss.
"Polly tells me Monaghan boy lost then" she began.
"Third time unlucky" Tommy replied, not looking at her.
"How strange" she furrowed her brow "it's almost like...we knew" she widened her eyes trying to break the tension.
"We took money from all over the city" Tommy looked around at the piles of cash.
"You'll have given back to the folks on Watery Lane though?" Harry asked, expecting his answer.
"Of course. First thing that was done."
"Pol taught you well" she leaned back against the wall. "I'm not sure Billy Kimber will be too thrilled once he works out what you've done, fixing races that belong to him."
"Billy Kimber is there for the taking. Anyway, what's got you all riled up about it? You were all for this plan."
"And I'm not against it" Harry kept calm "I just think you need to stop before you get yourself into too much trouble. First the guns, now this"
Tommy stayed silent.
"Tommy, Pol and I ran this business together for 5 years..."
"Yeah, whilst I was away fighting, remember?"
His tone provoked something inside of her. "How could I possibly forget?" she stared at him fiercely.
"I learnt some things, such as you strike when your enemy is weak" he got up and leant back against the fire "anyway, I thought you came here to talk *family* business."
She could tell he was just winding her up now, but it was working. His coldness and hard headedness getting the better of her. "Fuck them for what they did to you in France, fuck them all! I wish you'd never gone; I wish..." tears began to spring from her eyes
'If it's about Ada, I need to know" Tommy was unfazed by her emotional outburst.
"Ada gave me this letter to give to you. She wants you to pass it on to Freddie" Harry's hands scrambled as she tried to find the letter in her bag, and Tommy's body almost instinctively moved to help her shaking hands. But he stayed where he was.
"She wants Freddie to know that she's having his baby. He deserves the opportunity to do the right thing" she sniffled "Just give them a chance, Tommy. It's really got nothing to do with anyone but them."
Tommy leant forward and looked at the letter "for a woman so affected by what violence has done to man she loves, you're still so full of romance, ey?" He looked at her and raised his voice "what d'you think Freddie sees in our Ada, ey?"
"Just leave it, Tommy, just leave them be."
"No. I'll tell you what he sees. He sees machine guns and rifles and ammunition, and some glorious revolution."
"Well at least he believes in something" Harry said, raising an eyebrow at him 'that's more than I can say for you... what is it about him that you don't like? You two used to run around together, couldn't be separated."
Tommy shook his head "she'll have no life with a man on the run. If you can't see that, you can't see much" and he dropped the letter into the fire.
Harry almost flew forward to save it, but it was lost to the flames in seconds and she gripped the back of the chair in front of her until her knuckles turned white. His arrogance ignited fury within her.
"You know what Tommy, just because you're miserable it doesn't mean you have to make everyone else's life miserable as well!" Harry yelled "If you can't see that Freddie's been in love with Ada since they were kids then you also can't see much."
Tommy kept calm, refusing to look at her. "Tell Ada Freddie went to America or Russia"
"Tell her your fucking self! You bastard!" tears were streaming down her cheeks again "I'm not lying on your behalf for a cause I don't support."
"Harry it'll do Ada no good to bring a baby into the world alone"
"Like I had to?" she screamed "Just like I had to?! Birth a child in May and be alone by August. Is that what this is Tommy? You're so scared of your own mistakes you have to take it out on everyone else? You're pathetic! Leave your gallantry and your valour where they belong, in the Cut where you threw your medals! Just be a human being, for God's sake"
"You're only getting this wound up because you know I'm right!" Tommy called out to her as she stormed away and as she opened the door she heard him kick the table violently.
~ ~ ~
When Harry awoke the next morning, she found Tommy dozing on the sofa downstairs.
She made herself a cup of tea and lit the morning fire.
Tommy jolted awake at the sound of her striking a match.
She didn't look at him, instead sitting in the armchair with her book. She had a couple of hours before Albert needed to be in school.
He got up from his seat and moved towards the stairs.
"You're not talking then?" she said, an air of rudeness in her voice
"It's early Harry, ey? I'm not in the mood to fight" Tommy sighed
"Mmmm...doesn't normally stop you though, does it?"
"I've got a meeting with that copper today at Lickey Tea Rooms, 10am" he changed the subject
"What are you going to do? Ask him to arrest Freddie and execute him?" she looked up from her book and raised an eyebrow at him
"If you're going to be like this, I won't tell you" he turned and started climbing the stairs
"No, you won't tell me until you need me" she said pointedly "then you'll come running and expect me to help you sort it all out"
Tommy was silent on the staircase for a moment as he let her words settle before she heard them creak again and he was gone.
She closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the armchair. She hated fighting with him, it served neither of them. But sometimes he could be...so aggravating.
He came back downstairs moments later with a towel and he went and boiled himself some water for a bath.
"What are you going to say to this copper then, ey?" Harry pried as he submerged himself in the water
"Thought you didn't want to know" he replied defiantly.
"Never mind" she sighed and got up, walking to the kitchen to make some toast and poach some eggs for breakfast.
Albert woke himself and walked down the stairs sleepy eyed as Tommy was getting out and drying himself.
"Pop in that bath water, Bertie, you're filthy from being at Curly's yard yesterday" Harry said gently.
Bertie grumbled slightly before stripping off and sitting in the still warm bath water.
"Daddy can we go and see the new horse again after school?" he asked eagerly
"Maybe, son" Tommy said quietly "I've got some meetings today, so I'm not sure."
"Can we bring Mummy with us?" Bertie splashed some of the water, making it topple over the side.
Tommy remained silent for a second as he buttoned his shirt. "If Mummy would like to come, I'm sure that could be arranged" he sounded awkward as he said it.
Harry came and picked Bertie out of the water, drying him off. "Eggs will be ready in two, quickly get yourself changed upstairs and it'll be on the table once you're done" she kissed his head and he ran off upstairs.
As she was flipping the toast, she could feel Tommy's eyes on her. He was leaning against the wall, cigarette in his mouth, staring at her.
"If I put this egg on the table for you are you going to eat it, or are you going to look at it?" Harry asked. He had a tendency to just look at food and not eat it these days.
"I'll eat it" he said calmly, taking a seat at the table and looking through the racing paper.
She placed both of her boy's food down on the table and then her own just as Bertie came hurtling back downstairs.
Bertie swung his legs back and forth on his chair as they sat in silence.
As I suspected, Tommy didn't touch his egg and instead lit another cigarette, continuing to read the paper before standing up abruptly.
"Right, I best be off" he folded the paper and put out his cigarette in the ash tray.
"Can you take me to school, Daddy?" Bertie asked
"Not today, son, I've got an important meeting." He turned to Harry "don't wait for me tonight, I'll be home late."
She nodded her head slowly sipping her tea and with that he left.
She let out a sigh and looked down at her plate.
"What's wrong Mummy?" Bertie asked "Is it because Daddy didn't ask *you* to the races?"
Harry frowned, the way her son posed the question made it seem as though Tommy had asked someone else. "What do you mean, darling?"
"Well he asked the pretty lady from the pub to go with him"
Harry felt as though she couldn't breath. He'd asked another woman? A pretty woman. A woman from the pub?
"Bertie go and clean your teeth, you're going to be late for school. Pop over to Uncle John's and see if he'll take you this morning."
He ran off and she was left alone feeling as though someone had squeezed her lungs so hard there was no oxygen left.
~ ~ ~
She thought all day about how she would confront him. She played out every scenario in her head. Telling him she already knew, quizzing him about it, not speaking to him until he realised. But none of these options made her feel any better.
But then before she knew it, Tommy was walking in through the front door.
Her head snapped to the left to look at the clock above the mantel piece. 10pm.
Just looking at him made her feel sick.
But what if Albert had gotten it wrong? What if Tommy hadn't asked another woman?
"Harry?" Tommy spoke again and brought her back out of her head.
"Uhhh..." her voice quivered
"Have you eaten today?" he looked to the kitchen table where the morning's breakfast still sat.
"Sorry....uhhh...I got lost with the time" she smiled looking at him "I...popped into...uhhh" she closed her eyes trying to compose herself "I popped into Maggie's"
He placed both his hands on her cheeks and looked her straight in the eyes staring for a few moments. "Come on, you look really tired, let's go to bed"
"I'm just going to clear the table and then I'll be up" the thought of sharing a bed with him made her sick.
He stared at her for a moment longer and then stood "don't be long" he said before disappearing upstairs.
She sat for a few minutes longer. Who was this woman? She decided she'd find out tomorrow. She cleaned the table and then went to bed, finding Tommy asleep an odd scent floating around the room.
She slept, her dreams tumultuous just like Tommy's, and they both jolted awake to Curly pounding on their front door.
"Tom! Tom! Come quick" he shouted
"Fuck" Tommy breathed "it'll be the 'orse." He grabbed his coat and left.
She laid awake, hoping for his return scared of where he'd go if he didn't come home. Or had he already been somewhere? Is that why he'd not come home until 10?
He didn't come back before she fell asleep in the early hours of the morning.
He was sad, he wanted her to hug him, stroke his hair, tell him it was okay. But he couldn't bare waking her, she had looked so exhausted when he'd returned and fight or no fight he cared about her more than anything in the world. And so, he climbed into bed beside her, placing a soft kiss in between her shoulder blades, smelling the sweet honey scent of her skin, the soft shampoo notes from her hair. His hand ran gently over her bruised ribs and down to his hip where his hand gripped softly. God he loved her.
~ ~ ~
Harry walked into the Garrison on Saturday afternoon, bracing herself to be confronted with Tommy's woman.
She hadn't stepped into the Garrison in months. She had tried her best to stay away from alcohol since she found out she was pregnant. She'd read a few foreign articles in the library and seen that alcohol was documented as a potential risk to the baby. Tommy had laughed at her paranoia saying doctors prescribed alcohol to stop pre-term labour, not because it was harmful to the baby.
"The love light in your eyes, life could not hold..."
Singing. They hadn't had singing in the pub since before the war...how long had that changed?
She looked at the bar and couldn't see any women, nor could she see another woman in the entire establishment, bar one at the back singing badly but her hair was black. That was, until she entered the side room where she knew the boys would be.
"Shuffle these cards" she heard John say
Inside, clearing away empty glasses was a petite blonde woman. Blonde. It was her, the woman Albert had described.
"Harry!" John called "Haven't seen you in 'ere for months, come sit down!"
Tommy turned his head to meet her gaze. She hadn't mentioned that she'd be joining, but he was glad.
"Why no whisky, Tommy, you expecting trouble?" Arthur pried
The singing in the main part of the pub was only getting louder.
"Jesus Christ, Tommy" John laughed, laying his head on Harry's shoulder "what the 'ell made you let them sing? They sound like they're strangling cats out there"
Harry hoped he'd answer this one. She had a sneaking suspicion it had to do with the barmaid. The barmaid who was taking an unusually long time to collect the empty glasses and who had spread her time equally between taking secret glances at Tommy and furrowing her brow at Harry almost as if she was trying to work out who she was.
"Alright, 20 to play, come on. Harry, you playing?" Arthur shifted forward so he could see her from where he was sitting
"Course I am" she smiled watching as the barmaid finally left.
"But what did make you change your mind, Tommy ey? Was it Harry?" he winked at her
"Don't look at me Arthur, for once in my life I don't seem to know a single thing of what's going on with Tommy, let alone persuade him to do things."
Tommy shot her a look, a confused look.
"Sure it wasn't that pretty pretty barmaid?" she raised her eyebrows questioning him
He didn't falter, his gaze steady against hers.
"Wasn't the barmaid who you invited to the races with you?"
He could see the hurt on her face. "Harry, it's no-"
"So it is her, and it is true. You know I wasn't sure if Bertie was mistaken, but turns out he was right all along" her voice was gentle but firm.
Tommy mentally cursed, he knew he shouldn't have trusted his son.
'It's not like that" Tommy was firm "just wait a minute and I'll ex-"
Harry shook her head "don't bother, I don't care"
She stood up and walked out of the room and over to where the barmaid was pouring someone's drink.
She looked up and met Harry's gaze.
"Can I get you a drink?"
Irish. Of course, Tommy was a sucker for a rich girl with an accent.
"No, but what you can do is leave Tommy alone. Okay? You know he's the father of our children? The little boy you saw the other day, the one who probably called him Daddy? Yeah, he's our son" her words were like vipers, cutting into her. "Stay away from him. You won't like what happens if you don't."
The barmaid leaned in closer "You might want save your sermon and preach to Thomas instead, since he was the one who asked me to go to the races not the other way around. Believe me, I can fight too. I've been surrounded by fighting and IRA soldiers my whole life, I can't imagine you can say the same...sounds like you've grown up in the posh ends of London. I can't imagine there's much danger in that."
Harry was about to reach across the bar and grab her by the throat when the pub dropped to silence. She turned her head and saw men enter the pub with guns.
"Wholly shit, it's Billy Kimber" she heard someone mutter
In he came, prancing like a dollied up mare.
"Is there any man here named Shelby?"
Silence. She hoped Tommy had prepared for this.
Kimber took out his gun and fired at the roof, alarming the pubgoers and sending some of them running.
"I said, is there any man here named Shelby?"
The door to the private room opened and out walked Tommy.
"Get these men a drink, Grace. Everyone else, go home" he looked at Harry and raised his eyebrows indicating that he meant her too. But she didn't move, she wasn't prepared to take orders from him.
The barmaid set some drinks down on the table where the sat and Tommy said the same to her "You, go home"
"But Mr Fenton said-"
"I said, go home" he wasn't in the mood to play games "You too, Harry."
Harry watched as Grace left before she walked down the back of the pub and sat where no one would see her.
"I've never approved of women in pubs, but when they both look like that" Kimber said
"You said you wanted men by the name of Shelby. You've got three of them" Tommy ignored his leering comments
"Right, I never heard of you, then I did hear of you, some little Didicoy razor gang. I thought to myself, so what? But then you fuck me over, so now you have my undivided attention." He looked between the boys "By the way, which one am I talking to? Who's the boss?"
"Well I'm the oldest" Arthur replied sheepishly
"Ha...clearly" Kimber said insultingly
"Are you laughing at my brother?" Harry could tell John was ready to fight and she hoped to Christ Tommy would just speak up and say it was him
"Right, he's the oldest, you're the thickest. I'm told the boss is called Tommy and I'm guessing that's you cos you're looking me up and down like I'm a fucking tart"
"I want to know what you want" Tommy replied simply.
Harry listened as Tommy flexed his arrogant muscles giving back to Kimber some of what he had received upon arrival. But Kimber was in no mood to play.
"Right" he stood up from his seat aggressively, pushing his chair back. "End of parley, you fixed a race without my permission. You fucking gypsy scum what live off the war pensions of these poor old Garrison Lane widows! That's your level!"
Harry could see Tommy was sat, looking at him like he didn't give a care in the world. She could see it was winding Kimber up.
"I'm Billy Kimber! I run the races and you fixed one of them so I'm going to have you shot against a post"
Tommy stood as Kimber turned to leave "Mr Kimber."
Harry realized quickly Tommy had thrown him a bullet.
"That has my name in it" Tommy went on and Harry felt bile rise in her throat. How many more secrets did he have from her? "It's from the Lee family"
Harry was confused, Tommy had just brought home a horse from the Lees? Hadn't he? Albert hadn't mentioned any disagreements after their trip to the fair.
"You are also at war with the Lee's Mr Kimber, am I right? The Lees are attacking your bookies and taking your money. Your men can't control them. You need help"
She listened as he negotiated with Kimber but couldn’t stop her mind from thinking about everything that Tommy had hidden from her. Who was he telling instead? The barmaid?
Harry thoughts were disturbed when Kimber threw a coin on the floor in front of Tommy. "Pick it up, pikey"
Harry could've thrown for him and apparently so could John as he rose from his seat, reaching for his gun as Tommy bent down to pick it up.
"Sit. Sit down" Tommy commanded like John was a dog.
Tommy picked up the coin and there was some form of agreement to work together.
As they left Tommy locked the door behind them and turned to the boys.
"So you picked a fight with the Lees on purpose. Tommy. we can't mess with Billy fucking Kimber"
"Get yourself a good haircut man, we're going to the races" Tommy replied downing his drink before walking to the back to where Harry sat.
She didn't realise he could see her "I didn't thi-"
"I couldn't" he replied "I just know you and I knew you wouldn't listen, even if I told you to leave. Come on, we have a lot to discuss" he held out his hand and she stared at it for a few moments before taking it and allowing him to take her home.
Natthesaint on Chapter 2 Sun 07 Sep 2025 04:42PM UTC
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Georgie_roy on Chapter 2 Wed 10 Sep 2025 07:17AM UTC
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Natthesaint on Chapter 3 Wed 10 Sep 2025 08:35PM UTC
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