Chapter 1: Do you believe in fate?
Chapter Text
"Lovers don't finally meet somewhere. They're in each other all along"
-Rumi
Draco
"Deatheater Scum! What are you gonna do? Avada me!?" Slurs and curses are all I hear as I board the train to hogwarts. Ever since the war ended, the Malfoy family was feared even more, They blamed us for the deaths and some even called us the reason 'Voldemort came back'.
They don't realise. They could never realise how excrutiating it is to live with someone you know could Avada you any minute. The constant fear that any word could anger him and any unwanted opinion could get you crucio'd for hours, that every scream that left your lips was entertainment. They call us deatheater scum, they don't realise we fought an even bigger battle, one they could never understand.
The ride to hogwarts was quiet, nobody spoke a word to anyone, the silence was a comfort.They understood because they knew, Blaise knew the torment, Theo knew the torture, Pansy knew the pain and I- well, I knew it all. I had felt it all. Every crucio and every blade, the scars embedded in my bones and the pain was stuck in my mind.
Hogwarts had never felt more, lonely. Dumbledore was gone, Severus was gone and the ones that were left were permanently damaged, haunted by the memories the estate held. All the quidditch matches that would be played without Vincent and Fred. Yes, Fred Weasley, a bit ironic though, considering that I hated the Weasleys with a passion, but it's true. Fred played quite well.
It's hard to forget people after they die, especially if the reason for their deaths was someone living in the east wing of your own house.
I remember each and every single death, and I'm sorry for it.
"Malfoy! Can I have a chat with you real quick?" I turn to see who could possibly want to talk to me. Potter? The Harry Potter?
"Potter, I think you're having a stroke." I say with mild confusion. Is he hallucinating? "No, Malfoy. I'm not having a stroke, I actually need to talk to you. Meet me at the Astronomy Tower after dinner." The prat doesn't give me time to say no before he runs off with the weaslette.
...
I probably shouldn't do this. What if he hexes me or uses another one of that fucking killer curses on me.
Fuck it.
"I swear Potter, if you hex me, I'm telling McGonagall." I say to him as he stares at me with weird eyes, as if he knows something. Poncy little fuckwit--
"I wanted to thank you." He really is hallucinating. "Potter, I'm going to take you to Pomfrey and you're going to be just fine-"
"Draco, Thank you." I look at his eyes, Snape always used to blabber about his eyes being his mothers' though I never really paid any mind to them. Now that I'm staring diectly at them, I can't help but think how sincere they are. After all this torment and all those losses, he's still here. Maybe
"It's alright, Harry. I'm sorry for everything, I truly am." I say to him as he looks at me with- pride. He looks at me like he believes in me, it's weird.
"I always knew you had the good in you, Malfoy. They tried, they tried really hard to change you but you were always a stubborn little shit, I knew they couldn't get to you." It's comforting to have someone believe in you.
"I'm glad, Potter" I say as I turn to leave. "Do you believe in fate, Malfoy?" He asks me as my steps halted.
"No, but I might."
"The garden of the world has no limits, except in your mind."
-Rumi
Chapter 2: Regrets.
Summary:
Draco finds hermione and she's not happy.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
"And God said, Love your enemy, & I obeyed Him & loved myself."
- Khalil Gibran
Hermione
Happiness. It's hard to feel that emotion when you've lost most of the people that were the reason of said emotion. Fred, Lavender, Sirius, Snape, Remus, Tonks, Dumbledore, and the list goes on. So many people who deserved to live, to feel, to breathe, all their dreams taken away from them because they chose love not war, because they chose light not dark.
If I had to talk about my hate for Voldemort, I would be in my grave with my ghost still blabbering on about. There are so many things I wish I could just let out, Why? Why just fucking why? I just want to scream until my vocal chords are ripped and reduced to nothing and I'm sure it still wouldn't be enough.
All those people that were there that night, that saw it happen, all of the tortures and torments. They saw everything, even participated in those heinous and merciless crimes and yet- yet, they still have the audacity to stand in these Halls and study in those classrooms with no shame, no remorse and no regrets. Slytherins.
"Granger." Someone called out from behind. A voice I'm quite familiar with, how could I not be. Years of hearing Filthy little mudblood from that mouth really wouldn't let me forget a thing.
"Mafoy." I say, not caring one ounce if my tone came off as mean or rude. "Came here to remind me of my Filthy Lineage? Or do you have a new slur for me?" I let out with a bored but annoyed expression on my face, I had better things to do then to talk to someone like him. Someone like him.
"I just saw you here and acknowledged your presence-" What the actual fuck is he saying?
"Since when do you care, Malfoy? Oh wait, since you lost the war and now have to live with filthy little mudbloods like me instead of wiping them out completely!" I let it all out and I'm afraid there is so much more I want to say.
"Don't call yourself that." The moment those words left his mouth, I saw red.
"Don't call myself that!? Are you actually serious!? You had no problem calling ME that since we were 12 years old! You have no right to tell me what to do. I had no idea what the word even was up until you decided to bestow the knowledge upon me! I was 12, Malfoy!" I can't help as the tears fill up my eyes and my vision get blurry.
"You're the reason I was afraid to go home, every year. Your kind is the reason I had to do that to my parents, MY FUCKING PARENTS, MALFOY! You and that family of yours is the reason Fred is gone! Your fucking aunt is the reason harry lost his only family! AND YOU TELL ME TO NOT CALL MYSELF A FUCKING MUDBLOOD!?" My legs give up on me as I broke into tears. Strong arms get a hold of me.
"Why did they have to leave?" I hear myself say between sobs.
"I'm sorry, Granger. I'm sorry for everything, for everyone, for your parents, for every year I made your life hell and everytime I called you that godforsaken word. I'm so sorry, Hermione." I hear a never ending line of apologies as I let out every cry and every tear I had held back up until now.
I'm in his arms, Draco Malfoy's arms. No, no, no, no, no, no-
"This never happened, you're nothing to me and I still fucking hate you. Don't get any ideas." I say as I hurry out of the room. I can't stand to stay inside there for a second longer. The last thing I saw was his eyes. Silver eyes full of regrets. Did he really mean it?
What Have I Done?
"All roads lead to you, even those I took to forget you."
- Mahmoud Darwish
Notes:
Angst on the way.
Chapter 3: Not A Lot, Just Forever.
Notes:
im sure all of you might have caught up with the title of todays chapter. yes this is inspired by the song "not a lot, just forever" by adrianne lenker. I hope you like this chapter!
Chapter Text
"You were born with wings, Why prefer to crawl thorugh life?"
-Rumi
Draco
I still fucking hate you.
The words repeat in my head, over and over again. It shouldn't affect me as much as it does. This was inevitable, I would have to pay for my actions sooner or later. All the things I said and all the deeds I did, they were going to come right back at me. All those times I shamed others for being outcasts and odd, made a joke of their lineage and ruined the most precious and memorable moments of their lives. After all, you have to atone for your sins.
Who was going to tell her, though? Who was going to tell her that I truly was sorry? Who was going to tell her that my own tongue flinched everytime I sai that word? Who was going to tell her my heart broke at the sight of her having to go through torture on the floor of my own drawing room?
Who was going to tell her she was so pretty when she cried?
"Draco!" A voice calls out to me. It's a warm and fuzzy voice, as if a hug had been turned into a sound. I turn to see who it was when a genuine smile crept up my face. Astoria. My childhood friend whom I adored like a little sister was running towards me. We had always been close, I would always protect her when she needed protecting and defended her whe she needed defending. Our mothers wanted us to get married, but that was a ridiculous idea, partly because she was like a sister to me and because she didn't see me like that- or any man for that matter.
She runs into my arms and I twirl her around just like when we were kids.
"Tori! It's been ages. How's life at Beauxbatons?" I ask her as I put her down. Lord and Lady Greengrass didn't want her to attend Hogwarts because of their fear of the Dark Lord returning, and they were right in doing so.
"Oh, it's excrutiatingly boring, but there's this super hot girl in my year-" Yeah I didn't want to hear any of that.
"Astoria! I certainly do not waant to hear any of that! You're literally my baby sister." I tell her with a disgusted expression and her eye-roll tells me she got the hint. bitch.
"Alright then, I won't. So tell me, Draco Malfoy. How has life been treating you?" She asks me as we sit down in a corner booth at Maddam Puddifoots'.
"Oh tori, what do I say? I've become the butt of every joke in Hogwarts yet no one dares try their comedies infront of me. People frighten when I walk into the room, some even leave. I get called 'Deatheater scum' at least 15 times a day and random hexes are throw my way the moment I step out of our dorm." I say with a heavy heart. Oh how the tables have turned.
"Oh, Draco. You know it wasn't your fault, you were just a child. You didn't deserve any of that, let alone any of this." Her hand cups my cheek and I lean into the familiar touch. She feels just like mother.
"I'm always here for you, Draco."
"I know, Tori. And I love you for that." The rest of the evening ends in silence and mutual understanding. I've realised that some things are not meant to be said through words, they're just there, like facts and the ones who understand- well, they understand.
"I'll see soon, Draco!" Tori says as she turns away to leave.
No matter who leaves, I know she won't. Tori and I give each other just enough. It's not a lot, it's just forever.
"Not a lot, just forever
Intertwined, sewn together
As the rock bears the weather
Not a lot, just forever."
-Adrianne Lenker
Chapter 4: Don't Leave.
Notes:
Trigger Warning:
Suicidal themes/Self harming
Chapter Text
"I would rather see this world, through the eyes of a child."
-AURORA
Hermione
It's been 2 weeks since 'The Incident' and I'm too afraid to reflect over it, mainly because I'm scared I'll reach a point in analysing the situation where I realise that I might have gone overboard. I still can't believe the fact that The Draco Malfoy actually apologised to me, and that he seemed- remorseful.
I want to stop over thinking about everything, inculding him, so I decided to read at my favourite place, The Astronomy Tower.
I'm walking up the stairs when I halt in my steps.
Blood.
There's blood all over the cobblestone floor. Puddles of dark red blood. I hurry along to see if anyone is injured, when I let out a gasp.
Malfoy
No, no, no, no, no, no,no, no-
He's standing on the edge. What the fuck is he thinking? His left hand is dripping blood.
"Malfoy, get down." My voice is shaky as the words come out of my mouth.
He looks back at me. Silver eyes full of regret. "Oh, Granger. Bless my soul, it had to be your face I would see before I died. Why are you here?" He asks me.
"Malfoy, I don't know what the fuck you're about to do, but step down." I almost command him. Not another death.
"What do you care!? If I die or not!? I bet you would be ecstatic, another deatheater scum the world is free of!" His voice is loud and broken, his eyes are puffy. What is he saying?
"Malfoy, I don't know what you're talking about but step down, please." I step closer and he steps further back, one more step and he would fall of. No- God, please no.
"Draco, Stop! Why are you doing this!?" I almost begged him.
"No, Granger! Let me fucking die, it's better for the world, for everyone, for you." No, please Draco don't.
"Draco, Step down, Please. I'm sorry. Don't, you were just a child. A CHILD, YOU WERE JUST A CHILD! step down, please." Tears fill up my eyes as I step closer an grab a hold of his sleeve. Why am I doing this?
"Don't, Granger. Please just let me die, let it be easy." He says but he doesn't pull away. Maybe.
I pull him down and he just complies like a lifeless cadaver. Is that all he is? His head falls on my shoulder. I hear quiet sobs. God help me.
"Granger, don't leave." He looks up at me with eyes full of tears and I know I'm about to make the worst possible decision of my life.
Fuck it.
"I won't."
"The best thing to hold onto in life is each other."
-Audrey Hepburn
Will.see (Guest) on Chapter 1 Fri 05 Sep 2025 07:54PM UTC
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