Chapter Text
How in the hell am I suppose to tell if I'm gay or not, like, how do you know for sure? Why couldn't it be just a simple sign that pops up like 'Hey! Guess what?! You iz now gay! You love the same sex, dude! Welcome! It's gonna be one hell of a party!' as if you're in a virtual universe? But unfortunately, we don't live in a virtual universe and here we are today struggling between hardcore crushing over the same sex and being confused as fuck.
"X-O-X-O BITCHES, TIME TO FUCK UP MY LIFE AGAIN." Smiling to himself, Jackson types these words out becoming more comforted over this insane blog post he just created and published. With his desk facing his roommate's side of the room, Jackson turns his head to the left, spacing out and wondering when will his life ever be sane and not problematic. His thoughts are interrupted as he hears the speakers in the room begin to play a mix created by one of the DJ's that are performing tonight. With that as a cue, Jackson shuts his laptop close, gets up from his desk and begins to get ready for the Wonderland event, and this time this event is based off Halloween and it's in three hours. Lazily walking towards his closet and mirror, he glances at his roommate and notices him staring with furrowed eyebrows.
"Yes, Jinyoung?" Jackson sighs out as he opens his closet and removes the wifebeater he wore to sleep last night. "Nothing, it's just that you dyed your hair platinum blond and I'm surprised you actually match it," Jackson grins and faces Jinyoung.
"Well, since I'm dressing up as Kaneki Ken from the greatest manga ever, I gotta commit, right? By the way, when is Bambam comin-" The door slams open, "WASSUP, BITCHES, IT'S TIME TO GET LIT!!!"
Bambam enters the room dressed in all black: black skinny jeans, black vneck, and black sk8his. "Amazing," Jinyoung begins, "how does this kid manage to look so innocent..." Jackson finishes, "yet he's the one that drives us to raves AND hooks us up with rolls."
Bambam smirks, "please, people, calm yourself, I know I'm fucking great-" Jinyoung stands up in time to kick Bambam in the shin while saying, "shut the fuck up, kid, don't praise yourself."
Chuckling, Jackson finishes putting his outfit on, closes his closet and walks back to his desk to open a drawer and grabs the masks he ordered just for tonight's event. "here," Jackson throws one of the Kaneki Ken cloth masks towards Bambam, "I'm using the one with the zipper so I can easily use the pacifier while rolling, you can use this one."
The youngest puts it on and turns around immediately in order to fix his hair to look good with the mask on. "You know, this is gonna come in handy because this time we won't be sniffing dirt up our nose when all of it starts flying up during the event." Agreeing with Jackson, Bambam hums as a response.
"Guys, do you realize this is the first event we're attending without Yugyeom?" Jinyoung says. Bambam looks towards Jinyoung and Jackson, takes the mask off and pouts, "I know... I miss him."
Jinyoung in disbelief, "waah, you change faces so fast. First, you were on a high pedestal and now, you're all sad and moody."
Jackson looks at Jinyoung and shakes his head, "Jinyoung, come on, they started dating a couple of months ago. Let this noob be."
While hanging his head down, Bambam walks towards Jackson and hugs him, "You're so kind to me, unlike Jinyoung..." With the song about to end, the screams of Bambam started as Jinyoung pulled his away from Jackson and began to wrestle him to the ground.
"Hey, we're picking up Mark, right?" Jackson forwards his questions towards the mess on the floor, which he calls his best friends. "Yeah, we are," Jinyoung says while having Bambam in a choke hold. Jackson nodds and changes his gaze towards his fingers that are currently playing with the sewings of the mask. Jackson hasn't really hung out with Mark since 5 months ago when the whole group went out to eat and he's actually really nervous to be in front of each other again.
But here's the thing with Mark... Jackson really liked Mark when they were freshmen in high school but because he didn't really know about his sexuality or his actual feelings, he kind of pushed Mark away. They spent their whole freshmen year together, and when they went on the school band trip to Disneyland, they literally stuck to each other's sides. Jackson was so head over heels for Mark, but because he didn't know what to do, after the trip Mark noticed how distant they became and furthered that distance by moving to a different school where he actually lived close to. Fast forward to 4 years later in the summer before college, Jackson was drunk and began to ask about Mark and that's when he found out how much Mark liked him through Jinyoung and Yugyeom,.
"Guys, to be honest, I actually had a really huge crush on Mark. Like, I actually liked him a lot, especially when we went to our Disneyland trip for band," Jackson says before he takes another swig from the vodka bottle. With disbelief, Yugyeom stares at Jackson and says, "are you fucking kidding me?!"
Taken aback, Jackson almost falls back and says, "no need to shout, why u so mad, bro?" Jinyoung takes a shot of soju before saying, "Dude, you do know he was in love with you and that you're the reason he moved, right?"
Jackson's eyes go wide and Yugyeom continues, "Honestly, he was so hurt that you stopped hanging out with him after the trip! He was devastated because of your dumbass!" Jackson shot up quickly causing the drink in his hand to spill, "what you mean, all i did was chill with Eric and Jooheon!"
Rolling his eyes but causing a headache Yugyeom says, "that's the thing, you shithead, he liked you so much he thought you pushed him aside because you were tired of him!"
Jackson sat back down and decides to take another swig of vodka. "I didn't even know I liked him, okay?! I was so confused about liking a guy, I literally had to 'nope' those feelings so I kind of had to distract myself," he sighs. Jackson closed his eyes and a mixture of memories of Mark and a headache clouded his mind. "Yup, at least you guys are good now, " Jinyoung states. "Okay but, you still a dumbass, y'all would have made a cute ass fucking couple. Now 4 yrs later, all u have is regret and the realization of you being gay."
"Jackson..... jackson... Helloooo, JACKSON WAAAANGGGGG." With a confused expression, Jackson snaps out of his gaze and looks at the person whose voice echoed throughout the room despite the music blasting through the speakers. "What?"
"Come on, let's go, we have to go pick up Mark and then Jaebum," Jinyoung says as he points to his watch. Without realizing it, it's been an hour since Bambam came over meaning that Jackson literally daydreamed about his past for over 35 minutes. Shutting off the speaker, Jinyoung reminds Bambam not to forget his keys again while Jackson grabs a black and white flannel out of his closet and puts his Nike Roshes on without his hands.
When they got out of the dorm building, Bambam lags behind and says "Yo, you guys be looking good as fuck!" Jinyoung stops walking and looks down at his outfit. He's wearing a ripped-at-the-knee denim jeans, a black sheer longsleeve, and black Vans Classic Slip-ons with his hair side parted in a messy way. He then looks at Jackson who's wearing black skinny jeans, a black Stussy tanktop, and black Nike Roshes with his platinum hair naturally down. Jackson laughs while making a weird pose, "well, of course! I also brought a flannel just in case it gets cold."
Starting to walk towards the parking area, Bambam whispers, "hey, where are you guys gonna hide the rolls?" Jackson and Jinyoung take out their wallets and shows Bambam the rolls that are stuffed in between their cash. Smirking, Bambam unlocks the car and all three of them hop in. After turning on the car and setting up the aux cord to the phone, Bambam blasts the music, starts to drive and says "alright, let's go bitches!"