Chapter Text
" Sorry. "
When I said that, the woman did not respond as usual. Instead, she looked at me with red eyes, the only vivid color among her dull shades. Of course, I was expecting it. If it had been as usual, I would have apologized vaguely and begged for forgiveness endlessly to her.
After catching my breath for a while, I look at her. There is an idiom that I hear every time I see her. — 色如死灰. Well, but I'll be stabbed again if I really say this.
" I'm pretty serious. Dear... I'm sincerely apologizing, you know. "
" "
" ...Still quiet, aren't you? "
I laughing in vain. Does this woman use ultrasound like a bat? Or is she literally ignoring all my words?
I did my best to keep my voice from trembling. Slowly, taking a deep breath.
" Let me ask you one thing before you stab me as usual. "
" "
" Why do you keep coming to my dream? "
Through the stitched gray veil, I saw the red dot glaring at me widen minutely. The wind blew from beyond the distorted and twisted landscape. It brushed between my hair, and made her low ponytail waved like a crawling snake. — Oh. Come to think of it, since when has she been tying her hair up? I can't remember...
" Did I do something wrong? I mean, I don't know who you are, so... "
And the woman, the woman who was always still and silent. I saw... her lips open in my dream for the first time. Sadly, it was a deep, deep sigh that first came out.
It wasn't even just a sigh. Immediately after opening her first mouth, she sighed three times in a row. — One was with a face-palm, one was while staring at me for a moment, and one was while looking up. Well, it was so deep that I was worried that the ceiling might be pierced. — Finally, covering her mouth with her hands.
She did not speak for a long time. I decided to use my little patience for her. Because... I thought I'd get stabbed again if I didn't.
It was only a few seconds, but it felt like hours. She finally spoke up.
" —I guess you didn't get the picture. "
Soft and calm voice than I expected. But at the same time, it was also husky, like she had cried or had screamed for a long time.
Slowly, she pulled her hand back from her mouth. Like a broken pottery, her face cracked from under the veil. It was empty and dark in there, but somehow I could see, no, feel many eyes from there. — Strangely, I felt nostalgic. Feels like I've seen them somewhere.
It didn't occur to me that it's depth was just the width of a woman's head. It seemed as if it had led to a different world, or a different concept. It was deep, very deep. At the end of it was roots. It was also the starting point of desire, instinct.
She opened her hand. I was sitting on it before I knew it. —Through the fabric of the glove, her nails poked me in the shoulder. I'm looking up at the gaze, which I used to face at the same eye level. She looked down at me. Every time the wind from beyond the landscape shakes her veil, my brain flinches with an intense feeling, as if it were an electric shock.
My brain tried to resist it at the same time as it tried to accept new information. A fierce battle ensued with a little piece that weighed on existing ideas, memories, and nature. And there were countless such pieces.
I couldn't tell if she was doing it on purpose or not. But personally, I'd like to think it wasn't intentional, because she wouldn't choose such an easy way.
Somewhere in my mind was always empty. Maybe, I was in vain all the time because of the lack of that. Primary instinct, enlightenment. And yet—
" ...Did I do something wrong to you? "
I still didn't know about her.
" I feel familiar about you... Not just deja vu, but more fundamentally. "
" "
" Who are you? "
Her grip gradually tightening, squeezing me. Held my neck with her index and middle finger, my body with the other fingers. ㅡ I felt pain in my chest, and couldn't breathe. I think someone said this as love. But maybe, it was just the lyrics of a song I've heard before.
" ...Remember it for yourself. "
" "
I could barely hear the voice through the closed hand.
" Or stop breaking into my dreams. "
" It's weird... "
" Weird? What's wrong? "
" I can't remember the dream I had last night... "
" ...I think it's just that you didn't dream yesterday. "
" If I slept that well, I wouldn't be as tired as I am now... "
" ...You don't seem to be sleeping well these days. "
" Yeah... I've been in a bad condition lately. It's not deadly bad, though. "
" But... a pretty girl needs a good night's sleep! "
" What? 呵呵! It doesn't matter because my charm isn't in 'pretty'. "
" That's not the point, Yi Xi! Did something happened? I've never seen you in this bad condition... "
" ...It's a little bit of a trivial thing. You're not gonna laugh, are you? "
" Oh? Of course! I know better than anyone that even the smallest things can be a problem! "
" 呵呵. Okay, then. "
Well... I'm hesitant to sleep because of my dream.