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He didn’t like Luffy. The kid was annoying, followed him everywhere, incompetent, had no idea what he was doing, stupid, and so many other things that irked him. But the kid followed him for months even after Ace had told him to fuck off. He never left him alone. He never left him alone.
And he looked so small when tied up. He was just dangling from the ceiling and so, so, bloody. Why would they do that, to a child no less? One as small and defenceless as Luffy? He felt so cold and hot at the same time, and it felt like flames scorched his heart when Sabo realized Luffy didn’t sell them out.
“I don’t run from my enemies!” He screamed at Sabo once he asked Ace to run.
Sabo didn’t understand. He couldn’t run from his enemies. His enemies wanted him dead, if he didn’t defeat them now, they’d come after him. They’d come after them. He deserves to die, he’s destined for it. He knew that, it was a harsh reality but it was reality anyway. Luffy and Sabo were different. Sabo was smart, Sabo had dreams and the will and brains to achieve them. And little Luffy. He might not be smart, but he’s so little, he didn’t deserve death. Neither of them did, so if Ace is going to allow them to hang out with him, someone with a target on his back, then he has to protect them. There’s not a choice in the matter. He can’t run from his enemies.
Thankfully, Sabo has by now realized that he can’t really change Ace’s mind, so he helped him fight. Together, they defeated the actual, real, big, pirates and got Luffy out of there. And of course Sabo scolded him, but Sabo always prefers running over fighting. Ace fights.
And Luffy? Luffy cries. He’s still crying. He was crying when they bandaged him because he hurt too bad, and he was “scared,” and “really thought he was gonna die.”
“Would you shut up? You’re not hurt that bad! When are you going to stop being a baby! Don’t you want to be a pirate?!” He yelled when he couldn’t take it anymore.
And Luffy shut up, for the first time since they rescued him. Puffed out his cheeks to stop anymore sobs from escaping them. He looked kinda silly. And he still cried when he thanked them. Luffy was lucky Sabo was there to hold him back, because he is fed up.
“Why didn’t you tell them what they wanted? They’re not the type to spare kids. They could’ve killed you!”
“I was afraid,” Sniffle, “That you wouldn’t want to be my friend.”
His world came to a halt. Is this kid joking? Almost dying because he wanted a friend? And he realized, he’s the same. Loneliness is a different kind of pain. More painful than whatever Luffy was hit with probably. And he was so mean to him. For so long, and Luffy still wanted to be his friend.
Luffy was experiencing the same type of loneliness he’s experienced his entire life. With Sabo, it was a little better, but it didn’t truly expel the truth from his heart. He deserved to die.
“I have no one else to turn to! I can’t go back to Windmill village! I don’t like the Mountain Bandits either! I’d feel all alone all the time if I didn’t follow you! Getting beat up hurts, but being lonely hurts more!” Luffy yelled after Ace pressed him again on it.
Being lonely hurts more. It does hurt more. More than every scrape, broken or dislocated bone, fall, tooth breaking. Being lonely hurts far more than any of it. Ace knew.
“Ace is all I have!” And he was still fighting back tears. And his face while doing so was looking more and more pitiful. More understandable, too.
“You. . .feel better around me?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Otherwise you feel lonely.”
“Uh-huh.”
And he couldn’t stop his heart from wanting to know the answer. His stupid, childish heart from even wanting to ask, “Do you think I deserve to live?”
“Of course I do!” Luffy answered, as though it was obvious. As though that was the answer all along, as if he truly believed it.
Of course. Of course he deserved to live. Of course. Of course. Of course. This small baby who couldn’t stop crying thought he deserved to live. Didn’t even hesitate. Didn’t ask why he asked.
Of course I do. His mind, his heart, it was all swirling with emotions he couldn’t name. He felt like he wanted to cry, but he couldn’t. Not in front of Luffy or Sabo. He had to say something, “You’re still weak, and crybabies piss me off,” he managed to push through his throat.
“Nuh-uh! I’m really strong!”
“You were crying your eyes out the whole time you were tied up!”
“Have you ever been hit with a spiky thing that big? I’m just 7 years old! Just wait till I turn 10 years old like you guys, then I’ll be stronger and won’t cry anymore!”
Spikey thing that big. Just 7 years old. Just 7 years old. Ace shot down that argument, because it was dumb. Exactly the argument a 7 year old would come up with. Sabo was apparently fed up with them when he broke up their argument. And thank goodness, because there are new feelings that he didn’t know what to do with. When he first met Sabo, he felt them too, but Sabo could take care of himself. He just needed a friend, just like Ace did at the time. They were more partners than friends. They had a common goal. This felt different. Sabo brought them together to discuss his plan, and Ace hated to admit it, but Sabo was smarter than him, which meant that Sabo was way smarter than Luffy. What he had with the two of them was different than when it was just him and Sabo collaborating.
This felt real.
This felt like something he had to keep. He’d kill to keep. He felt like a bear guarding its hollow in the woods, or a tiger to its den. He felt . . .so much of whatever it was.
When they went back to the Bandits’ hut, Luffy crashed first, followed almost instantly by Sabo. They both slept under the same blanket on the same floor. Luffy clung onto the blanket where Sabo slept like a lifeline, and mumbled something Ace couldn’t make out when he slipped under the blanket after them.
For the first time in 10 years, he had something. He had friends. He had something that he’d kill to keep. This was his. This was his and no one. No one. Was gonna take it from him without a fight.
In the morning, Luffy had this stupid smile on his face that nothing could wipe off. Even when him and Sabo joked about using him as bait for fishing, he was still smiling. Even when him and Sabo didn’t let him have any of the fish he caught, he wouldn’t stop smiling. Sabo kept playing with Luffy’s weird body and gave him tips on how to work it. And Ace, according to Luffy, “couldn’t peek” because he was a “meanie.” And Ace wished his heart didn’t soar as he heard Luffy and Sabo play together. Or when he used Luffy in “balloon” form as a football ball.
The days that passed were just a little bit brighter with the two of them at his side. The sun was a little bit warmer, the rivers were a little bit more refreshing, the meat was a little bit more tender. Even when it rained, it was a little bit more fun. Everything was a little bit more fun with the two of them. Even if Gramps came by, he was less afraid. He had them now.
They were his, now. He was sure of it.
They started dueling each other. Sabo, as always, remained a nice challenge in contrast to Luffy, who was really easy to beat. And when he did beat them, Sabo, ever the nicer friend, would encourage him, say that the gum-gum pistol looked a little more controlled and that he might have a shot tomorrow at beating one of them, even though he never did. Together, him and Sabo grew better. And together, they helped Luffy become someone who can actually hunt alongside them.
Nights were a little more tough. Luffy would fall asleep instantly all the time, normally tucked into him or Sabo. Sabo would also sleep well, but Ace could never fall asleep instantly when he wanted to.
Ace would watch them sleep sometimes. Luffy was really clingy when he slept, latching on to one or both of them subconsciously. It seemed he slept better that way. Ace would never admit it, but when Luffy did this to them, whether it be knocking the wind out of him by accidentally kicking him in the stomach or death gripping their arm, it seemed he slept better. It turns out, both of them did too. Sprawled out, limbs askew, and simply. . . on the floor together.
This was his. They were his. He would do anything to keep them. He knew now, how wonderful it was to not be lonely, to have a group to fall back on. They would follow him into every stupid decision, cave, ravine, river, whatever. Just because they wanted to be with him.
When their training finally broke the loft that Dandan had said was theirs, they decided they should live on their own. The first night wasn’t bad. A little rough, but no night was bad if he had them. Luffy curled in on himself in between him and Sabo and fell right to sleep.
“How about a treehouse tomorrow?” Sabo whispered.
Ace grinned. A place he could see if predators or enemies were approaching, the high ground.
A place to see the vast blue sea that surrounded their tiny island, so they could look out at their dreams whenever they wanted.
“A treehouse sounds fun.”
Building the treehouse, following Sabo’s instructions with traps, playing pretend, and training. Vigorous training. Everything was fun. And he pushed himself harder and harder everyday, because he had a family now. He had two brothers, and he wasn’t going to let any force in the world take them from him if he could help it. He felt unstoppable with them at his side.
They would go into town together, and eat their fill of ramen and go. Sabo scolded him only once, but some thug hit Luffy in the nose and he wasn’t going to let someone just hit the crybaby and get away with it. That was the one of the closest times they ever got to brushing into the authorities, because Sabo had to pry him off the guy and drag the two of them back to Gray Terminal. The other time was Sabo’s fault, apparently.
He couldn’t bring himself to be angry at Sabo when he revealed that his parents actually were alive, for a couple reasons. One, Luffy forgave him immediately. And as much as Ace hated to admit it, whatever his little brother wanted, he’d give him. That was the duty of the older brother, to make sure that their younger siblings are safe and happy.
It also explained why Sabo preferred running over fighting. For Sabo, running was survival. For Ace, it was fighting. For Luffy, apparently, it was crying to his older brothers to save him. It felt good to know that someone had placed so much trust into him. That someone knew he was strong enough to protect them. He can act annoyed all he wants, though. Because he wanted to. And when they met the old man, Naguri, their dreams felt both more achievable and less realistic at the same time. He didn’t actually know how strong Gol D. Roger was, but if he could beat Naguri in his prime, then the three of them need to be even stronger to survive the sea.
It didn’t scare them one bit, not when they were together. Together, they were unstoppable.
That’s what he thought.
He forgot that he was also still weak. Despicably, embarrassingly, weak. Sabo was taken right in front of him by his dad, and Luffy was hurt by the men he hired. And Ace couldn’t protect them. Sabo declared them brothers and left, because they were weak and they couldn’t protect each other. Ace justified it by saying Sabo would be happier without them. That’s what he told Luffy. Luffy always had the softest heart out of the three, and Ace knew Sabo would prefer Luffy to be happy rather than burdened by his problems. But Ace. Ace knew. Ace understood Sabo’s drive for freedom, his desire for the liberation the sea would bring him.
Ace had to get him back somehow. For Luffy’s sake, so he can have his nice big brother back, and for Sabo’s sake, so his dream isn’t just that. He’ll make it a reality for him. They’ll all be happy again. But Ace is forced to see the facts, the harsh reality once again. He’s been around Sabo and Luffy for so long he almost forgot, but he, too, is small. Not just Luffy. In comparison to the adults, to the other monsters out there, he’s just as small and weak to them like Luffy is to him.
How does he get his brother back when he’s just a kid himself?
Ace and Luffy put barrels around Gray Terminal for their enemy in hopes of getting closer to Sabo. Ace put Luffy in danger again. He was a fool, a weak fool.
The fire was so hot, and Luffy was scared. He wished that Luffy would shut up, but at the same time, he knew if he didn’t hear those cries behind him, something had happened to Luffy. It did make it hard to think, though. And he needed to think, and think fast. He knew Bluejam was a fool, Sabo told them how nobles lived, there was no way that they were going to let Bluejam of all people nobles. That issue would come later, for now, he needed to get Luffy out of the fire.
Just get Luffy to safety. They can cry later. They can get better, stronger, later. They just needed to get out of the fire.
Bluejam.
Ace tried to put Luffy behind him, tried to do what Sabo would do and run to safety, but they were just kids. They caught them. And asked for the treasure again. Fine, fine. Anything for Luffy. Sabo would want Luffy over the treasure. Ace wants Luffy over the treasure. Please. Please give him Luffy over the treasure.
They kept calling him kid as if he didn’t know. As if today hasn’t been a harrowing, disgusting reminder of him being a kid.
The pirates hurt Luffy.
Pointed a gun at his little brother.
Knocked him to the ground.
Raised a sword.
To his little brother.
His little brother.
No.
No. No, no, no, no, no. Not him. Anyone but him.
His beloved younger brother, who wanted him to live. Who trusted him.
Whatever came over him and his heart didn’t feel human. He felt like an animal. Like those crazy bears who would go ballistic when he accidentally touched their cubs. He wanted these men to burn. He wanted them to burn in the fire they started, all to satisfy their own greed. He wanted these men dead for hurting his baby brother. Burn, his heart whispered.
“Get the hell away from him!” He snarled, as deep as he could.
Then it was quiet. Luffy was safe, still injured from what the pirates did, but whatever happened knocked the pirate that was about to kill him out, and calmed the fire down for a split second. A split second was all he had to get his little brother away from Bluejam. And it wasn’t enough. Whatever. Him over Luffy.
A second miracle happened. That ugly old hag found them. He saw one of them pick up Luffy, and his heart calmed just by a little bit. Luffy was unconscious, he was only 7 after all, but he was alive. And that’s what matters.
He didn’t run from his enemies. If he ran, that meant his enemies could come after him again. They could come after Luffy again. And he’d rather die than watch his little brother get killed because of his mistake.
I won’t run. He thought as he picked up his pipe. I can’t run. He can’t leave important things behind him. Luffy was behind him, Luffy was running. Luffy needed to continue running behind him, and the only way to make sure was to not run.
Dandan backed him up, which he was privately grateful for. To have someone at his back, to protect him. To see him worthy of protection.
It was awful. The fire scorched his lungs, his eyes, skin and hair. Dandan was injured, and he took care of her, just like he did Luffy. And they finally made it back to the Bandit’s hut, where he saw Luffy heavily injured and bandaged, but alive.
When Luffy saw him, he started crying all over again, like the crybaby he is. And Ace has never been more grateful to hear that annoying yell in his life. He saved him. He saved Luffy. Luffy kept clinging onto him, and Ace is slowly growing less disgusted by it. But he had an image to keep up, so he called him a crybaby again and hit him. He was so thankful to feel that crybaby’s tears on him.
–
Sabo was blown up?
He knew he ran, he knew he left Sabo behind, but it was because he had to get Luffy out of there. Sabo would prefer for Ace to get Luffy out of there, because Luffy is weak. Luffy needed their protection.
Sabo was killed.
Sabo was killed.
Sabo. His beloved brother. He was dead.
Burn.
Burn. Burn. Burn. Burn. Burn.
He wants to kill them.
“You’re just a kid!”
He knew. He knows. These past few days have been an awful, bloody reminder of the fact he is weak. He’s powerless. He’s just a kid. He can’t do anything. He can’t do anything.
He’s just a kid and he can’t do anything.
He’s just a kid. And now his brother is dead.
“Which one of us is the real big brother? Anyway, wherever we sail, we’ll always have our brotherhood. . . he’s still our little brother, so please take good care of him!”
His brother is dead.
His brother is dead.
Who’s the real big brother? What a joke. He’s the only one left to be the big brother. He doesn’t deserve it. He let Sabo die. He turned his back. He let Sabo walk away behind him.
Sabo. His first friend, his fellow big brother.
He’d never turn back down from a fight to protect someone he loved ever again.
Sabo is dead.
Ace wasn’t a crybaby, but he didn’t think even an adult could stop their tears if their brother died.
And the tears couldn’t stop.
His brother is dead.
–
His brother asked him to take good care of their younger brother, and that’s what he’ll do. He missed Sabo so, so, so, much, but he had someone to take care of. He had his brother’s spirit to carry on. He needed to make sure that Luffy never, ever, felt unsafe or unwanted.
“I wanna get stronger. And stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger. I wanna be the strongest in the world, and I can protect everyone, I won’t lose anyone I care about,” He sobbed into the grass, “You gotta make me a promise, please don’t die Ace!”
His heart hurt. So much.
If Luffy is all he had, then he’s all Luffy has too.
He’ll sacrifice himself before Luffy dies. He’ll sacrifice the world if that’s what it takes. Anything. Anything. He’ll do anything.
He’ll do anything in his power to make sure that Luffy is safe. He’s just a kid now, but he has room to grow. That’s potential, as Sabo called it. He’ll be the strongest. He’ll get influence, power, all of it. No one he loves will ever die on his watch again.
He won’t ever back down from a fight. Never again.