Chapter Text
It was a cool, fall night. The string lights at granny’s diner glowed yellow, and leaves dusted the streets. Regina stood outside, watching the lit glass windows and the party within. She clutched a bulky pan of food for the potluck. Cinnamon donuts. Who brings cinnamon donuts to a party? She thought to herself. Stupid thing to bring.
But the thoughts were a distraction from what she was really feeling as she looked at Granny’s—there was a blonde, smiling woman in the window. With a man in a black leather jacket slinging an arm over her shoulder. They were laughing with the group. They looked happy.
I should go home, Regina thought.
The last time she saw Emma flashed in her mind.
It was 6 months ago, on this very street.
“Hey, I… I need to talk to you,” Emma had said. Her green eyes were cold and distant as they lingered on the dim outline of the closed diner beside them. “This…thing, we have going on. It doesn’t feel right keeping it from everyone. But also…I’m not sure if I can tell them, either.” She had one arm over the top of her bug, about to get into the driver's seat. Her long blonde waves rustled in the wind. Regina just stared at them.
“The Author is threatening to change everyone’s lives,” she continued, “Killian intends to track him down. And I…I have to go with Him.”
“You don’t have to do anything—“
“I—I want to.” Her words hung in the air.
Regina nodded, looking down slightly.
“Okay, then.” Regina’s voice hardened, even as her heart froze over. Emma wanted to go with Hook. She wanted to leave. She didn’t want me, the quiet voice at the back of Regina’s head thought.
It had been a hard road, liking Emma. She was already involved with Killian when the two women had realized they’d had a spark. They met in secret, in supply closets, on work meetings, or in the middle of the night. All while maintaining their public personas as friends, even rivals. Regina had known this wasn’t serious. But it still hurt. Something about the blonde had grown past infatuation—careening toward comforting, warm, and…steadying. Like maybe she, Regina, and Henry could be a family.
“I’ll make sure to call Henry. See if he needs anything while I’m gone.” Emma’s eyes finally met Regina as she spoke.
“So that’s it then?” Anger, and something else was swelling in Regina’s chest as she spoke. “Did-did this, what we had, did it mean anything to you at all?”
“Of course it did,” Emma shook her head, “I don’t even…I’ve never felt this way about anyone. I—I couldn’t stand it, if we stopped, and I still saw you around town, so I thought maybe leaving would help both of us. I thought we both knew it could never last forever. They’ll never…” she trailed off. “The town wouldn't accept us. I…I don’t know what I would do, if they found out.”
“I–” Regina took a step toward Emma, “I would never tell anyone—“
“And besides,” Emma interrupted, looking at the ground. Her voice grew heavy “I’m the savior, and you’re the evil queen. The one they needed saving from. I’ve been thinking—more like worrying, really—I… I can’t be with someone everyone thinks is so…evil. I can’t risk losing them, not after I just found them. I’m sorry.”
Without looking up, Emma got into the car. The door slammed, and she was gone. Regina was glad she didn’t look back.
Now, in the present, she still wasn't sure if she could look Emma in the eye.
Regina had been slowly integrating herself into the town, trying to be kinder, more open, more vulnerable. It had landed her an invite to the monthly potluck from Granny. She’d expected the Charming’s, some citizens—not Emma.
While Emma was gone, Regina couldn’t fully get away from her. Everyone talked about her. Ruby chattered on, telling stories of the best friend’s exploits, what Emma would have said in any given situation. From Hook himself, she received clipped updates on the Author’s whereabouts. Henry reported some of what Emma said in their phone calls. These secondhand reminders were hard enough to tolerate. But now, seeing her in person?
The queen took a deep breath. Just…make sure you smile. Regina told herself, smiling means you’re nice and not scary. Nice. She forced her feet to walk toward the door.
It opened with a merry ring. Smile smile smile. Regina told herself, even as her heartbeat surged and limbs turned to lead.
The small group of people looked up. And the room fell silent. Um. Hello, Regina said, plastering on a grin.
“Mom!” Henry shouted, running to embrace her with a hug. “Hey, you,” Regina greeted her son, patting him on the back, as she looked warily around the rest of the old timey diner.
The silence continued.
“What is she doing here?” one of the dwarves snapped, glaring at her. He was seated at a cherry red booth–beady eyes scrunching at her. It was the particularly annoying one. Although all the munchkins were annoying sidekicks to snow and charming.
“I, um—,” Regina felt frozen. Her smile faltered. Maybe this wasn’t the best idea. She stepped away from Henry. “I’m gonna go, Henry. I’ll see you at home—” She turned, making for the door, but a voice stopped her in her tracks.
“I invited her”, Emma said. The Queen’s eyes widened. “Well, I asked Granny to.”
“You did? Why?”, the Dwarf answered in shock.
“Because—because we want her here.” She put a hand on Henry’s shoulder. Regina scanned the room—Hook looked polite but pained, the dwarves, granny, and red scowled, snow and charming stared between Emma and herself warily.
“No, I—I’ll go, but have fun. I made cinnamon donuts.” She handed the pan to Henry and walked back through the door, into the night.
She was a few steps down the street when a familiar voice rang out—”Gina! Gina, wait!”
Regina did not wait. She stepped up her pace, heels clacking on the paved road. But Emma caught up.
“Geez, how do you move so fast in those things,” she puffed next to the brunette, keeping pace with her.
“Go back to your party,” Regina growled without looking up from the road.
“No—why did you leave?”
“Why did I leave?” She laughed once, sharply. “Maybe the fact that I’m obviously not wanted there? By anyone?”
“You—you should stay, they just don’t know you like I do—and I’m sure if they did—”
“If they knew me they would be the same. I’m evil, aren’t I?”
“We both know that’s not true.” Emma’s voice cracked.
“What are you talking about? You couldn’t be with ‘someone evil’ like me—that’s what you said, months ago.”
“I-I’m sorry, I meant—”
“I heard exactly what you meant, and I’ve been hearing it ringing in my ears since you left!” Regina suddenly shouted. She didn’t know where that came from. She was breathing heavily.
Emma had tears in her eyes. “I’ve thought of you everyday. And I—I want to make it up to you. Not to—to get you back, I wouldn’t think you’d want that, but just because—“
“Go back to your family, miss swan.” They had finally reached Regina’s black car. She whirled to face Emma, eyes blazing. The two were standing remarkably close.
“I just wanted to tell you, I’m sorry about the Dwarves. I think they still have a grudge from what happened with Doc. I—I chewed him out, though. He could have been more cordial.”
Well, Regina thought to herself, she DID send Doc to a pocket realm for tripping her in the supermarket.
“Oy!” A shout rang out from down the street, and both women turned to see a dark-clad man walking out of the diner.
“Get away from her!” He demanded as he approached, sticking an arm between she and Emma.
Regina rolled her eyes. “I’m trying to leave, captain guy-liner.”
“Well,” Hook began, out of breath and staring the brunette down. “Um. Good.”
“Hook-stop it!” Emma shouted, slapping his arm away.
“Look, Regina, we need you–something with the Author–”
Regina was already in her slick black car and revving the engine.
“If this is a business meeting, I only take them during business hours,” the queens voice was flat, filled with sarcasm.
“I…” Emma looked between Regina and Hook, “Okay. I’ll call you tomorrow to see when you can meet us,”
“Very well,” Regina rolled her window up and sped off.