Chapter Text
John tried to find words through the muddled murmurs only scarping soft words together about ‘broken’ and ‘get together” he wanted to know what that meant desperately but it just wasn’t clicking in his head in any circumstance that those really would be used in a shouted tone. Why couldn’t he think, why was everything so much harder to piece together now he swore black and blue it wasn’t like this a week ago. When was a week ago? What fuckin day is it.
shit shit shit what the fuck happened, cmon cmon
John could remember bits of his mission, Simon was supposed to be coming to them, the bomb. Makarov. But that was as far as his memory could take him was hitting makarov with a knife and….fuck. Of course price, Simon and Kyle would be far enough if that bomb had gone off hopefully he was the only one in range. Is he dead?
“ do not start on me with this shit! The answers no! A DNR? are you out of your mind ?” John heard cut off his thoughts this voice was rough, loud in a way that stirred something in his chest he heard it so clear this time it was unmistakable as simon, he could pin point every way his vocal cords went into every letter like it was his own. But that was normal for teammates that was the muscle you depended on the most.
“It’s realistic, life can’t improve for him unless you want to see him bed bound for the rest of it” price. John knew that cigarette burned voice, the same man that fought by his side and taught him so much that he needed to know in battle. He felt like he was running miles on repeat with that burn of anxiety settling into his ribs clawing into his heart to choke him, he knew what he signed up for but now ? John didn’t want to know he’d rather it fast and sudden he didn’t want to think of his family or his friends and never getting to talk again.
Not that his family really wanted to talk with him, as soon as he joined the army they weren't supportive, every letter he sent never got a reply and he gave up, he’d found a family and a home with people he trusted. He knew to keep everything up date of where he was staying what he looked like to his family, the same people that had he borrowed his last name from, just in case he could get a visit. Although that day never came. He didn’t expect it to.
everything was quiet. It was unsettling that eerie quiet that caused goosebumps and made his ears ring. Was it always going to be this quiet? Fuck.
”m sorry, johnny I could’ve done-“ the rest of that voice seemed to trail into faint mumbles, and a warmer weight settled on his forearm but not against him. Like bubble wrapped around the touch or it was under his skin unable to surface. John felt woozy in his own mind he couldn’t try to keep himself awake even when his eyes were closed.
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simon was woken up from a shake to his shoulder, his body going ridged for a moment one hand slinging to reach for something that wasn’t there until his eyes focused to the familiar face next to him. Blue eyes, dark hair that started to fray a grey tone between strands. Price’s warm eyes watching him like he could both lunge or sob at the older man, Simon did neither instead focussing on the body in the hospital bed.
John was shirtless, the wool hospital blankets covered his physical bits downstairs while the machinery beeped rhythmically. He looked frail laying like that, arms facing out so the iv drip would pump into one arm and the other with a blood drip and a bandage warped several times on his head some hair missing so they could preform surgery, trickles of red sneaked through the beige colours.
Simon felt a soft touch settle on his shoulder, faintly feeling it rub down against his shoulder blade and back up again. It was a comforting act but that couldn’t solve the pain of loosing someone he considered a friend other than just another soldier.
“they’ll kick you staying any longer” price had finally spoke up getting a glance in return although both of them knew it wouldn’t happen, who knew if it was because they where soldiers or because they where the only family listed.
Simon looked up, one of the rare occurrence that he wasn’t staring at johnnys figure in that bed or the beeping monitors. The window, his eyes creep upon was closed but the curtains were tucked to the side leaving the view available, it was cloudy now that he was looking he could see the rain pounding on the glass and passing by, following with a soft gurgle in the sky that he could feel in the floor through his ‘civilian’ shoes. He preferred running shoes, Johnny didn’t though he liked the badass combat boots that they’d bantered about it being a height thing.
He could find himself smiling at the memory, laughing like middle schoolers at a dirty joke they shouldn’t know. He wanted more of that, he was promised that.
a soft gurgle. Almost enough to be mistaken for the outside hoarse weather but it was vibrating against his arm. it was johnnys stomach. No doubt about it but Simon’s hands wrestled with the blanket for a moment finding the opening at the back of the hospital gown and around Johns waist to feel over his abdomen. Simon could feel the heat and tumble of the man’s stomach like it was wavering inside him.
without a second thought his hands leapt for the red help button, letting it ring out until someone came to check on them. After maybe 2 minuets a tall brunette came in, blue uniform wrinkled and a white name tag sprawled on his chest reading ‘Isaac’. His eyes darting around the patient and the visitor but came to no conclusion about any harm.
“Can I help you?” Isaac spoke giving Simon a friendly smile that was just for politeness, while his hands threaded together infront of his own stomach.
Simon realised how odd of a ‘emergency’ this was now. “Um….well his stomach was sorta gurgling ?” His eyes darted down, as soon as the words formed out he felt silly for speaking.
The man before him sighed like he genuinely was relieved that this was the situation at hand, a small chuckle coming out with his words. “don’t worry, it’s completely normal at this stage, he might mumble or twitch”
Simon nodded along with the other man’s words letting his eyes string from johns head injury, to his mouth. He didn’t bother to respond to Isaac but his hands worked mindlessly on John’s own hand as if he was kneading the skin carefully to avoid tangling in any wires.
Isaac stood there for a few seconds watching the patient's monitors, and movements and quickly scribbling the information down on a notepad before awkwardly scattering away from the room. Simon couldn’t help but smile, it meant Johnny was recovering even if it was small and he clung to any slit of hope he could grasp.
Johnnys twitches started up a few weeks later, fingers taught on fabric before going back to their limp state. It wasn't just his hands, his lips, eyes, and every muscle known to man was starting up. Sometimes it was a jerk movement nearly hitting price in the face but other times it was soft barely even a movement but it was there.
“Sleeping Beauty it’s time to go home” Kyle shook at Simon’s shoulder attempting to wake the man himself who was slumped over Johns hip area, hand on hand like he was going to leap anywhere. A few more of those movements and Simon’s eyes fluttered, more squinting though with sleep clearly stuck in his eyelashes.
“Cmon you can’t spend your life here” price finished off offering a hand out to help the other man up although was met with a soft slap away and he understood what wasn’t said. Simon could spend his life here is Johnnys memory was in every glimpse of it. But unfortunately time was a curse and his had limits.
so begrudgingly Simon did stand up, giving his soldier one last pat to the arm with tender love that friendship could bare. His stuff that was once scattered across the porcelain floor was neatly in a bag in prices hand. Leaving felt like a betrayal on its own, but that car ride was torture on its own.
It was quiet. To fuckin’ quiet and lately it was beginning to make his skin crawl. Johnny made most of the noise, not like he was screaming on missions but it was chatter that was easy to take your mind of the amount of people who's blood sat on both of your hands. Or humming tunes of songs that never played, it was his memory of songs that could drag for eternity but now the lack of was wrong.
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Simon did not want to be paired with a new sergeant, in his head it was just another man that would die in the same battles tones have before him. But one mission was all it was. One, and there wasn’t anything he could do to change that.
They where driving off route 47, rocky roads that jolted the car and gave everyone inside a few bruises. this small tune started to be hummed next to him, and the rhythmic beat of his boot over and over, he could almost roll his eyes at the other man.
“Hell’ re you muttering?” Simon gave a quick glance at the solider, glancing at his shitty haircut mostly. Who the hell even gets a Mohawk, and a grown out one for starters. Dark strands curling around his ear, down to his nape.
“ain’t muttering, it’s humming” the smirk on his face started up, a light glimmer in his eyes that would’ve gotten him flocked out of training if not for his ‘talent’.
”same things few vowels off, you aren’t answering the question, rockstar.” Simon kept his eyes on the rocky landscape, mostly at least getting side glances to the man who let out a sarcastic gasp.
”how dare you” the other scoffed after the gasp making a mock offence putting his hand on his chest. “You can’t talk, mr walked fresh out of spirit Halloween” he’d laughed, it was such a light sound you’d never think this man had so much blood on his hands. It was admirable.
Simon laugh, his breath catching in his mask forcing the air to make a push against the fabric. His question was still unanswered though annoyingly, after a short 20 minutes of trying not to burst the tires and throw the car itself into a ditch his answer came.
“It’s a Scottish song” soap mumbled but when Simon glanced over their eyes didn’t meet, instead it seemed he was focused somewhere else outside that window. The sun glimmered through the window reflecting on the man’s face, enhancing every detail on his skin down to the scars and moles that now looked like an artists work.
”do you only know the sound of it or ?” Simon answered back trying to lighten the mood now, his eyebrows furrowed into nearly a line under his mask not daring to look over again in case their eyes did meet this time.
”theres words in there, but I ain’t much of a singer” john smiled though but his eyes stayed looking out the window as if the outback’s of a desert was that much of a beautiful sight. Great to know if he ever needed to make a bet.
”don’t look much of one, rockstar” Simon made a noise between a laugh and a odd snort that seemed to reside in his throat. He managed to keep the car from landing halfway down a ditch getting to the safe house.
John did laugh though, that same laugh that wasn’t high pitched but could make your ears ring. Simon found his eyes locked on the man’s throat, the Adam’s apple clear bopping with every noise, and close to the wire that entangled both of them.