Chapter 1: Once Upon a Time
Chapter Text
Our story begins at the dawn of the greatness of Beast-Yeast. The Gods with the longest shadows baked five god-like cookies to bring perfection into cookie kind. They would wield Soul Jam which gave them immense power, power over virtues they would spread to all cookies. After all, it was what they were baked to do.
These cookies were called the Divine Emissaries by the lowly cookies, the closest thing the cookies had to gods, besides the witches themselves. The emissaries did not do what they do for worship or fame. They did it all because it was their duty.
These virtues were the definition of perfection, but something was wrong. Wrong with each one.
The Fount of Knowledge was the most famous scholar in all of Earthbread. Everyone came to the spire of knowledge to hear the truth! But when you are the only cookie with all the knowledge on Earthbread, doubters begin to appear, and when doubters appear… Cookies stop coming to hear your truth, thinking there was no truth to begin with.
The Priest of Volition was revered for her incredible kindness. If you came to her with a problem, one your will could not overcome, she will help you and grant you a wish. But when you promise to help people overcome their will, they stop having will. They get lazy and expect everything from the priestess. They need her to solve everything.
The Bringer of Happiness was the sweetest cookie in all of Earthbread. She could heal any ailment and make all pains disappear. She had a garden of the tastiest fruits, rivers of the sweetest juice, and an aura with ultimate happiness. Despair did not exist in her garden. But cookies realized quickly, that there were only a few things that made them happy. If they wanted to be happy all the time, they should kick back and relax, let the Bringer make them happy.
The Herald of Change was the greatest king who ever was. Not only was he a ruler of one kingdom, not only was he a ruler of five kingdoms, he was a ruler of ALL kingdoms! He oversaw everything and everyone, because everything and everyone was changing. He helped the river of change flow. Even if change took cookies he loved from him. Kingdoms he cherished. Birthed evil and hatred. He must let it all be born, grow, and wither, for there is no stopping change.
And finally, the Commander of Solidarity! The glue holding Earthbread together. He kept his fellow virtues strong, he made sure cookies stood together as one, he protected the weak and downtrodden. He had a liege of the Kala Namek knights to fight alongside him so they could make sure everything was in solidarity. But maybe he had too much solidarity for his fellow soldiers. If a traitor were to get into his ranks, he would trust them wholeheartedly.
As you can see, nothing lasts forever, and it seemed like the virtues were going to fall into darkness and turn against the cookies they loved so dearly. All seemed lost for Beast-Yeast. Volition was sealed in a cocoon by the Spider of Apathy, Change was attacked by the Great Destruction, Knowledge was poisoned by the Snake of Deceit, Happiness shed tears of Sloth, even Solidarity was falling Silent.
Five mortal cookies saw the fate of the Divine. These mortals, the Ancients, approached the Virtues at their lowest and offered compassion and companionship. The virtues accepted their new friends and advisors to help lift them from potential corruption. But even if the Virtues were no longer corrupting, their friends were…
Chapter 2: The Devoted
Summary:
Book of Milk 7:14 "Those who remain ignorant are of no need to cookiekind."
Notes:
This took too long, and I'm not looking forward to the next chapter because I genuinely don't know what to do with it. Gosh diddley darn it all
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“Pure Vanilla Cookie, oh wise one!” A blonde cookie bowed to the Fount of Knowledge. How bold of him to approach the virtue!
“A fascinating name, mortal one!” The Fount looked down upon Pure Vanilla. “And you came all the way to the top of my spire to serve me?” The Fount asked, smiling down at the mortal cookie.
“Of course.” The mortal looked up at the emissary. Pure Vanilla was a strange cookie. He never opened his eyes. Fount had only seen him a few times, Pure Vanilla was one of his students after all, but he never saw his eyes.
“How delightful! What reason do you have?” The Fount smiled once again. He was levitating above the ground, making himself taller than the cookie below him.
“I am devoted to the path of knowledge. The truth is very important to me, and I am devoted to you as well, Virtue. Please, allow me to be your second in command.” He bowed lower.
“Rise, Pure Vanilla Cookie.” The Fount lifted his arms, and Pure Vanilla Cookie followed suit, standing before the Virtue.
“As you know, my Spire is like my body, and yet I open it up to all who seek knowledge. What do you see in the Spire, Pure Vanilla?” The Fount put his hands behind his back.
Pure Vanilla had a staff with him, an eye in the flower looked around at the spire around it. “The spire has not changed, O wise one.” Pure Vanilla changed to a look of concern.
“Ah, but it has. What do you hear?” The Fount asked another question. Was this a test? Pure Vanilla paused and took his time to listen.
“Just us…” Pure Vanilla answered, unsure.
“Precisely!” The Fount floated higher, spinning in the air. “My spire is empty. Waves of doubt have plagued my pupils.” The Fount floated back down to Pure Vanilla. “There is a snake in my garden, pupil. A snake of deceit. I fear it has already bitten me. It’s poison seeps into my dough.” His voice, now full of melancholy.
Pure Vanilla Cookie physically drooped, feeling sadness emanate. “A snake, Wise One? I have seen no snake.”
“Ah, but it is here. There is a nest in my spire. A nest of vipers who have poisoned cookies I care deeply about.” The Fount landed on the ground, close to the pupil.
“I shall let you stay with me, if you berid of these snakes. Keep me company in my spire, and these snakes may very well perish.” The Fount held Pure Vanilla’s face gently in his hands. Pure Vanilla finally opened his eyes, one was yellow and the other was blue, so much like the Fount’s.
“Fount…” He started.
“Your eyes. It’s as if you were made just for me.” He smiled at the cookie, who was nearly his height.
“I will slay this snake for you, Fount of Knowledge.” Pure Vanilla said with a newfound assurance.
“Of course you will.” Fount released his pupil. “I have full faith in you.”
.
The spire was maze-like and messy. Books, scrolls, papers, pens, pencils, and every study material you can think of lined the halls. Pure Vanilla Cookie had never been too far into the spire. No cookie was allowed too far, or they would go mad with knowledge. No cookie can handle all the knowledge that the Fount knows. That is why only the Fount has such knowledge.
Pure Vanilla Cookie felt like he could go mad just staring at everything in his path. Every book had something to say. Every paper was written with a purpose. To read them all would take hundreds, probably thousands of years, and you still might not be done.
Pure Vanilla knew the spire was huge, but now he knew it was confusing. It did not help that Pure Vanilla was mostly blind, needing his staff to tell him about his surroundings to navigate.
“How does the Fount handle this place all by himself?” Pure Vanilla asked himself out loud.
Pure Vanilla couldn’t even imagine living here, it almost made him feel sorry for the Virtue he respected so much.
“No time to feel sorry. I must find the Viper’s Nest and prove myself to the Fount.” Pure Vanilla said out loud once again. Talking to himself made him feel better, and it made him feel less alone.
He carried on, the walls looked made of a blue quartz, the floor under him seemed to be shifting, one moment it looked obsidian, the next, like milk, but stone…
Pure Vanilla walked over the shifting ground thinking nothing of it. He had a mission to worry about. He had a virtue to save!
The spire was no less confusing. Pure Vanilla could’ve sworn he had passed by the same rabbit statue multiple times at this point, but he had to keep going. How long has he been here? Hours? At least. Days? Likely, at this point. Did he make that turn already?
Apparently not, because Pure Vanilla saw something he had never seen before.
“The Fount of All Knowledge.” He stated in wonder, inching closer to the fountain shaped like the emissary. It is said, those who drink from the fountain will learn everything! You could become as knowledgeable as the Fount himself.
Pure Vanilla was as close as possible, ready to bend down and stick his hand into the water, before he heard something sinister.
Hissss…
It was unmistakably the hiss of a snake. Pure Vanilla turned around, moving his staff every which way to look for the creature. Finally, he sensed it. The snake was hiding amongst the books and scrolls, not far from the fountain itself.
“Come now, creature. I will not hurt you.” Pure Vanilla smiled and crouched down. Obviously, it was unwise to try and tame a snake like a stray cat, but it occurred to Pure Vanilla Cookie that perhaps he need not to slay the creature.
The hiss grew closer, and Pure Vanilla reached out his hand. His staff shivered, knowing how poor of an idea this was. The snake slithered closer, no aggression in its movements. It slithered its way around Pure Vanilla’s arm, spiraling up until it was looking the cookie in the face.
The snake was an odd, shiny blue, with hints of black scales. Its slitted blue eyes were brighter than the rest of its body.
“Hello, little one. Are you causing issues here in the spire? Are you scaring the Fount of Knowledge?” Pure Vanilla chuckled to himself. The snake seemed to scowl at that oddly.
“I’m sure you’d be much happier outside. Let’s take you out of here.” Pure Vanilla took a step to leave, but the snake hissed again, disagreeing with the cookie.
“Do you not wish to go somewhere much safer, little one?” Pure Vanilla asked. The snake dropped from the cookie’s arm and slithered closer to the fountain.
“What do you want from this? Is it tasty, do you think?” Pure Vanilla sat on the edge, looking down into the milky waters. The snake had slithered its way into the fountain, seemingly leading Pure Vanilla into its depths.
“You want me to do something with the fountain.” Pure Vanilla frowned. “I’m assuming you want me to drink from it…”
The snake seemed to look delighted, as if it didn’t quite think Pure Vanilla would be smart enough to understand.
“I do not think I should, little one.” Pure Vanilla doubted. Then he had a thought…
What if the snake is a test..? A test to see if I would drink from the fountain. Does that mean the Fount of Knowledge wants me to drink from it or not?
Pure Vanilla did not know the answer. What was the right thing to do? He had to think carefully. On one hand, no one had ever made it to the fountain and returned sane. Most of the time, they didn’t come back at all. But what if Pure Vanilla was different then? Fount sent him all this way… maybe it was so he could drink from the fountain to be the perfect partner for the emissary!
Was it hopeful thinking? Maybe, but no scholar ever got anywhere by not trying for the truth.
Pure Vanilla reached a hand into the fountain. The water(?) was cold, freezing even, as if it in itself was a warning to stop. Pure Vanilla couldn’t stop. He lifted up a cupful to his mouth and drank.
It tasted so… sweet. So rich and creamy, as if the texture changed as soon as he drank it, from water to milk. What was this stuff? Then… it got cold. The milk(?) was so cold his head ached, burned even. It felt like something was in his head, and it was so cold… and it was desperately trying to get out.
He clutched at his head and collapsed. The snake slithered closer, looking him in the eye, seeming to say, “Why did you do that?”
.
Pure Vanilla was returning now to the Fount. The spire was less confusing, his second time through. The snake was in his arms, seeming to sleep passively.
Finally, the mortal cookie returned to the main room of study where the emissary of knowledge lay waiting, checking over scroll after scroll.
“O Wise One…” Pure Vanilla finally spoke up, getting the Fount’s attention.
“Ah! You returned! I knew you would!” The Fount floated himself close to Pure Vanilla, embracing him in a hug. The snake let out a hiss, nearly being crushed.
“Oh, my! Taking the snake? You’re so compassionate!” The Fount smiled and took the snake into his own arms, making the snake seem much more comfortable for some reason.
Pure Vanilla didn’t feel very compassionate. In fact, he felt very tired, and he must’ve looked terrible to boot, because Fount took quick notice.
“Oh my dear Pure Vanilla Cookie, what seems to be the matter?” The Fount asked.
“I am quite tired, o wise one…” Pure Vanilla did not meet his eyes.
“Good thing I prepared a room just for you, but I do have a question before I send you off?” Fount looked very serious for a moment. “Were you at the Fountain of All Knowledge?”
Pure Vanilla looked up, his expression giving nothing away. “No, Wise One. Never.” The Fount smiled at this and waved his hand, dismissing Pure Vanilla Cookie.
Pure Vanilla trudged through the spire once again, for some reason already knowing where his room was. In fact, there was a lot Pure Vanilla knew now… Things that did not make him feel pure anymore…
“Why must I know so much now..?” He lamented. “Why must this burden placed upon me feel so absolute..?”
…Why did I lie to the Fount?
Pure Vanilla prided himself on never lying, but just now he did without a second thought.
“What good is this knowledge I now know? Why do cookies want this..?” Pure Vanilla looked up at the ceiling of the spire, everything that once felt so mysterious became clear and everything that was once clear became mysterious…
Notes:
"I have always served. It is but now that I serve by her side."
Chapter 3: The Willing
Summary:
Dark Cacao Cookie and the Ivory Pagoda
Notes:
I am so tired all the time. You have no idea. I wanted to get this chapter out, but I can't write fight scenes that well, and I just want to do nothing for eternity. IDK man... Golden Cheese's will be cool, although really Burning Spice will be taking more center stage in that one. Gotta get the lore in ig weeeeeeeeeeeeee
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The baby sleeps in his father's arms. Dark Cacao Cookie wasn’t particularly special. He was a traveling warrior, his child in tow, helping anyone he could. He’d been all over Beast Yeast, and now he was traveling to the Saint of Volition to wish for a new sword.
Dark Choco Cookie cooed in his sleep. The Flour Peaks got colder as you got higher, endless stairs leading your path. Dark Cacao pulled the blanket over Dark Choco, making sure he stayed warm. His son was his pride and joy, and he protected him fiercely.
Dark Cacao heard of cookies coming far and wide to meet the Divine Emissary. She promised to grant any wish to help cookies meet their destiny. Feats that were once impossible became possible in the Peaks of Flour. The warrior noticed, however, that no one was here…
“Odd… I’d expect to have waited for the rest of my days, and yet… There is no one in my way. Something must be wrong.” Dark Cacao explained to himself.
He walked further, higher and higher, and still, he could see no cookie for miles. Why was no one coming to see the Saint?
Hours later would reveal the answer.
When he reached the top, there was no one guarding the way. Not even a Haetae. He could hear… yelling. Swords slashing. Anger.
The Ivory Pagoda was dark. A crowd had gathered at its entrance, far past the gardenway. They were screaming, and many had weapons. Haetae were circling them, baring their teeth.
“What madness is this!?” Dark Cacao exclaimed. He rushed closer, but a Haetae growled at him as he approached. What was with the hostility? He could hear what the cookies were shouting about now, and he began to get an idea.
“How DARE she hide away from us!”
“She promised us wishes endlessly!”
“I only wish to see her!”
“Why are we being treated like this!?”
“Get her out here now!”
“Why is she in a cocoon? She should be out here!”
The mob grew angrier until…
SLASH!
A cookie swung their sword at a Haetae, drawing jam… All hell broke loose. Other cookies saw it as a sign to attack. The Haetae had to defend themselves. A battle had begun.
“NO!” Dark Cacao shouted. He ran forward, blocking swords from hitting Haetaes, since there were far more cookies. He fought back against them, defending the Pagoda.
A few slashes hit him. He had to dodge to protect Dark Choco. He felt terrible that his son was now a part of the battle… he had sworn to never expose him to this.
Suddenly, a cookie rushed inside the Pagoda, slipping in while the Haetae were being attacked. Dark Cacao seemed to be the only one who noticed.
“Fiend! You shall not dare to enter this divine domain!” He called as he followed the pursuer.
The Pagoda was dark and cold… Flour powdered the floor like dust. In the middle of the throne room was a giant silk cocoon. Was the Saint of Volition really that big? What was she doing in there?
Dark Cacao was distracted. He returned his attention to the insolent cookie, who was now unreasonably close to the cocoon.
“Oh, Saint of Volition! Why have you hidden away from us?” She dropped to her knees, her sword landing at her side. She held up her arms to the cocoon as if praying.
“We only want your wishes. Your blessings! We need you! And now you have abandoned and attacked us!” She cried.
“That is not true!” Dark Cacao startled the cookie. She turned around and quickly grabbed her sword, prepared to defend herself.
“Who are you?” She asked angrily.
“I am Dark Cacao Cookie. I, too, am here to see the Saint of Volition, but attacking the Emissary is wrong! You should be ashamed. Why can’t you just leave and come back another time?” He reprimanded the cookie.
“She has been away for YEARS! Cookies are crumbling, and she does nothing! If she will not come to us, we will come to her!” The cookie suddenly turned around and slashed at the cocoon. Flour dropped from the silk almost like water.
“NO!” Dark Cacao screamed. He raised his sword and slashed at the cookie, drawing jam. They staggered back, but not far enough before Cacao struck again and again and again, until the cookie collapsed, crumbling…
More cookies began to burst in and immediately attacked the cocoon. Dark Cacao attempted to push them back, but he was outnumbered… The cocoon was cut open, and the Saint fell out on her pile of flour.
She looked so tired… and withered. Dark Cacao could not help but feel terrible for her. Everyone froze seeing the state of the Virtue. She opened her eyes and raised her head to look out at every cookie.
“You broke my cocoon…” She weeped. No one moved. “You demand wishes for yourself… and yet, you do not let me grant my wish…”
It was as if the whole Pagoda was under a spell. Dark Cacao looked behind him. Where were the Haetae? All he saw were limp bodies…
Suddenly, Dark Choco began to cry. Dark Cacao tried to shush him, but it was too late; everyone, even the Saint, was staring at him.
“Bring me your child.” She whispered. Her spell worked on Dark Cacao as he stepped closer, holding out his son.
Why am I doing this? Will she punish my boy?
“This is the son of the only warrior who tried to protect me…” A tear fell down her cheek. “The rest of you… return to nothing.”
As she spoke her words, every cookie around Dark Cacao began to turn white and powdery.
Flour…
Dark Cacao and Dark Choco were the only ones spared. The warrior feared for his life. The Virtue had so much power over him. He dropped to one knee and bowed.
“Rise and take your boy.” She held out Dark Choco Cookie. Her tears had dried up, and a look of apathy had washed over her.
“Fair Saint of Volition…” He pleaded.
“You were the only one…” She looked down at him, her eyes sad.
“I…”
“Silence. You deserve blessings. What is it you wish for?” She held open her arms, almost smiling.
Dark Cacao thought for a moment… He came here for a new sword…
“I wish to pledge mine and my son’s life to you for eternity.” She paused.
“Eternity is a long time, especially for your son.”
“I am willing.”
Notes:
I am suffering

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