Chapter Text
My sleep gummed eyes peeled open and I squinted at my traitorous alarm clock. Fuck! How did I sleep in that long? My fucken boss was gonna murder me. Speaking of the bitch, why hadn't she called my phone? Actually, where was the fucken thing? I could have sworn I had it last night, right before I cried myself to sleep.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!
I know, I know, you're asking yourself “what's up with this absolute failure of a girl?” The answer’s pretty easy; I've gotta chorus line of squirrels on amphetamines where my brain should be, and negative self esteem. Oh, and I'm pretty sure my best friend is dead.
Yeah, I've been a bit of a mess these past few months, barely managing to take care of myself. Lena would definitely kick my ass if she was still here. Fuck, I miss her, you know? She'd always make sure I'd get rest, and didn't give a shit if I felt guilty for doing it. What was it she said? “In a world that demands constant productivity, rest is a radical act.” Yeah, something like that.
I just wish she were still here. She was a genuine bad bitch. The kinda girl you could kick to the curb and she'd just drag herself up again. Which is funny, cos she couldn't actually stand unaided for more than a minute, but she never quit. The world wanted her to roll over and die, and Lena just point blank refused.
Like I said, I miss her.
Oh fuck, where's my manners, I just trauma dumped all that on you and I've not even introduced myself yet. Way to fuck up Niamh.
Shit! Sorry! That hardly an intro is it? Name’s Niamh Butler, and welcome to the cluster fuck that's my so called life.
Anyways, like I was saying, things have been rough for, like, I wanna say the last three months. I don't really have a concept of linear time these days, and definitely not since Lena vanished. Helping her was like my anchor, you know? Can't manage my life for shit, but give me someone to help and I go into beast mode.
Yeah, yeah. I know an unhealthy coping mechanism when I see one, but when your best friend is a disabled, trans sex worker, what ya gonna do? It took all of Lena's energy to see clients, and I basically did the rest.
Fuck, she was so stars damn pretty, like really pretty. Honestly, just ethereal. When we'd get drunk I'd ask her what her secret was. She'd joke about selling her soul to a demon for eternal beauty, and bathing in the blood of thine enemies. Seriously though, Lena was ten years older than me, and looked twenty years younger. I'm starting to think there may have been some truth to what she said.
We met years ago, can't remember exactly where, but I do remember her seeing straight through my depressed twink exterior. Fuck, when she whispered that “Good Girl” in my ear I practically melted. Needless to say we were friends from that point onward, she even helped me with getting on the anti-cistamines. Always knew how to cheer me up when the dysphoria hit hard too. I just wish I knew what happened to her. It's the uncertainty that kills you. The hope that she might just roll in the door like nothing had happened. That the last few months had just been some kind of weird anxiety nightmare.
Well, all this yappin isn't getting me to work. I could rush, but given it’s 10am and I'm already three hours late, having a cup of coffee and a cigarette before I leave isn't gonna make me any more fucked than I already am.
I kicked open the lounge door and mooched toward my kitchenette. I was so distracted by the thought of having to wash a mug, that it wasn't until I was standing in front of the sink that I noticed the noise.
Purring.
My sleep fogged brain just blue screened, while I stood there trying to remember if I had a pet cat.
I don’t have a cat btw. What? Keeping a pet? In this economy? You think I'm made of money? I do however fucken adore kitty cats. Watching cat videos online has been about the only thing keeping me going since Lena died, so I can obviously be totally forgiven for the inhuman noise that burst out of me.
“KBITTY! Who’s a pretty lil kitty cat? Is you a pretty lil kitty cat? Are you gonna let me pet you?”
Kbitty made the cat activation noise. Which, btw, was freakin adorable. There was the sound of stretching and then the biggest, most floofiest and orangiest tail I have ever seen poked over the top of the sofa.
“Oh hai Niamh, did you miss me?”
I was vaguely aware of the sound of my coffee mug hitting the floor as a familiar face peeked over the sofa.
“Lena? You… You’re a… you’re a cat??!”
“Course silly,” catgirl Lena pouted. “But did ya miss me?”
“Miss you?” I sobbed. “I thought you were dead!”
“Oh yeah. Sorry bout that." Cat Lena looked sheepish for a fraction of a second, before grinning again, “Meowstress kinda couldn’t wait to get her vines on me and I wasn't allowed to let you know I was okay.”
“I’m sorry, I haven't watched that anime.” In isolation, every word in that sentence made sense, but taken together and I was dumbfounded. Blame it on grief, exhaustion and a criminal lack of coffee.
“You’re so funny babe,” cat Lena giggled. “It’s just I was close to doing something permanent and Meowstress couldn’t bear to see me hurting.” She paused to lick a paw, and groom herself behind one of her big, floofy cat ears, “But it’s almost no more capitalism forever day and Meowstress let me come and take care of you.”
“It’s almost what?!”
“No more capitalism forever day, silly.” Lena paused for a moment, “I mean technically you could call it an invasion, but that sounds all horrible and nasty, not when Meowstress and her friends are here to make all our lives so much better.”
“I… I just thought you were dead!” Whatever damn had been holding back the pain, burst, and I crumpled to the floor.
“Awww Babes, I love you too.” Lena launched herself at me like a furry missile, hitting me in the chest and knocking me flat. “I know it's been hard, but I promise Meowstress will make it up to you.” And with that, she curled up on my boobs and started purring.
I’m not sure how long we stayed like that, but eventually my tears dried up and I lost myself in petting the adorable kbitty that was pinning me to the floor. Who also happened to be my best friend who I absolutely didn’t have sexual thoughts about. Nope, I was just a girl petting a very cute and affectionate kbitty. Nothing to see here, move along now.
Aww fuck, I’m not fooling anyone, am I? Yes, I have a big gay crush on the girl whose hair? Fur? I was currently running my hands through. I really hope she feels the same way, otherwise it’d be weird.
Speaking of Lena, she yawned as her purring stopped, giving a luxurious stretch. All while standing on my boobs. Typical cat behaviour. Afterwards, she sat there, staring at me, like I’d done something wrong.
“What?” I said.
She stuck her tongue out at me, “Vee, I thought you of all people would understand the rules.”
“Oh shit, yeah.” Understanding blossomed across my face. “Ooooooh! Big Stretch!”
She giggled, “Thank you Vee-Vee.” And then she kissed me. On the mouth. With her oh so soft lips.
Look, it’s really normal to moan like a slut and get hard when your best friend kisses you. On the mouth. And maybe slips a little bit of tongue in there too. What? It’s not my fault I’d never told her I loved her. Finding out that Lena apparently felt the same way about me, had me drowning under a tsunami of lesbian yearning.
Fuck, how had she got even hotter?
She purred again. Not the deep comforting purring from before. No, this was a sexy hot bitch purr, and it re-wrote my brain chemistry on the spot.
“Oh, does some little kitty love me?” Lena smirked, dragging her rough tongue from my collar bones to my chin.
“Oh fuck!” I breathed. The sensation was overwhelming, and I damn near came on the spot. “I thought I’d lost you Lena, but you’re here and…” some of the details I’d missed while I'd been all up in my emotions suddenly swam into focus. “You’re three feet tall and walking about! HOLY SHIT, YOU CAN WALK!”
“Mmmmmmmm,” Her answer was muffled by the fact she currently had her tongue stuck in my ear. Though she could be reciting the litany against socialism and I wouldn't have heard a word of it.
“Gaaaaaaaaaaaahrk!” I retorted with complete composure.
“Babe,” She purred, “You’re so cute when you’re flustered.”
“TIME OUT! TIME OUT!” I said in a breathless rush. “Lena, we’re like best friends, are you sure this is a good idea?”
“We’re not friends, silly.” My heart shattered into a thousand jagged shards. “We’re pinnates, and pinnates fuck each others brains out.”
“What’s a pinnate?” I crashed to a stop as my brain caught up with what she’d just said. “Wait!? Fuck each others brains out!? Now?”
“Well,” she giggled. “I don’t have anything in my calendar for the next couple of hours. So yeah, lets fuck.”
“I… I think I hauve covid.” Lena had always been flirty, when she wasn’t floored from the fatigue, but this was something else. This was a tiny cat demon running on pure horny, with an insatiable appetite for making me lose all higher brain functions. The best part of it? She was winning, and she knew it.
She straddled my chest, grinning like a worcestershire cat, “Hey babe, wanna see something amazing?”
“Uhh, yeah!”
Lena positioned herself so she was kneeling above my face and I became aware of two things. The pretty sundress she was wearing was incredibly revealing, and she wasn’t wearing any knickers.
“Oh fuck,” I moaned.
“Oh, you like my new kitty cunt?” She pressed her advantage toward my face, and I lost it as the smell of her arousal hit me. It was almost indescribable; sweet honeysuckle mixed with sharp citrus notes of orange blossom, and a girl smell so perfectly divine that it defied description.
“Fuck, you smell incredible,” I breathed in a devout whisper. Oh sweet Sappho, I needed to worship this girl, grovelling in praise before the altar of her cunt. She played idly with herself, teasing me with the wet promise of her body, before raising her dripping paw to her mouth. Where she licked herself clean with a smouldering sensuality that made me moan so hard my soul left my body.
“Wanna taste my honey pot babe?” She smirked down at me, knowing full well what my answer would be. “Meowstress said she made it specially for you.”
“Please!” I begged. “Let me worship you!”
“Good girl!” she purred as she lowered herself onto my face.
I drowned in her, drinking in the divine essence of her cunt like the dehydrated bitch I am. I must have been touch starved too, because my entire body was tingling, burning with lust for the radiant creature riding me. I gripped the small of Lena’s back, feeling her tail wrap around one of my arms, as I locked her in place, desperate to imbibe the ambrosia that she was spilling down my face.
I lost track of time, the universe, everything really. All I wanted was to bury my face in Lena, to be consumed utterly by bliss. Even as my vision went dark, it didn't occur to me that I still needed to breathe. Fortunately for my suicidally sapphic ass, Lena was paying attention, and she pulled herself off me, allowing me to draw in a deep, ragged breath.
“Woah, babe! Someone’s keen.” She straddled my chest again, “I know my kitty cunt is pretty, but you still need to breathe.”
It was my turn to smirk up at her, “If I die, I die. Now saddle my face and ride me to Vallhalla!”
“But you’d die!” she wailed, tears running down her perfect face. “I couldn’t bear living in a world without you!”
I pulled her into a hug, marvelling at how damn good it felt to stroke her sof cat ears. “I’m sorry Lena, I couldn’t live without you either.” Damn, I was crying too. “I love you so much lil kbitty, I’m never going to let you go again.”
We stayed like that for a good while, Lena held in my arms while she purred and purred. Each rumbling vibration coursed through me, making my body tingle in rapturous ecstasy. I could have stayed in that moment for the rest of forever, but eventually, the tone of her purring changed, filling my brain with thoughts of fucking and other hotness. She leaned in to kiss me, and I responded with an eager gasp, desperate to taste more of her divine perfection.
“Oh stars Vee, I love you so much.” Lena kissed me again. “So mulching much. I hated not being here with you, but Meowstress said we couldn’t come and grab you. I was so sad I had to go to the sniffles ward.”
“Fuck!” I squeezed my friend pinnate tightly, “You got so sad you got sick?!”
She squirmed in my grasp, pulling another slutty moan from my lips. “Yeah, but the affini take the well-being of their florets very seriously, so, like, I was only a sopping wet meow meow for a day at best.” She smiled and then leaned down for another kiss. Longer this time, leaving me breathless and giddy. “But then it was almost no more capitalism forever day and Meowstress helped me plan coming to keep you safe.”
“Okay, Lena, this is like the fourth time you’ve talked about there being no more capitalism. What the hell is going on?” I tried to push myself upright, but for being a three foot tall catgirl, Lena was surprisingly strong. “And who are the affini?”
She sat up, ceasing her periodic torments, and gazed at me, a thoughtful expression on her beautiful kbitty face. “Hmmmmmmmm, maybe I do owe you an explanation.”