Chapter Text
Kimi will never understand who cursed him and why, but this race is looking like it's going to be another one to toss in the 'best not to talk about' pile. Carmen is watching both her boys from the garage, George high up in the points and Kimi hardly even close. He's going to be upset if this doesn’t change, his rookie season has not been easy on him and he still has yet to resign with the team that would put his mind at ease. She is a little ticked with Toto, both Kimi and George haven't signed new contracts yet and they are still in second in the constructors so what he's waiting for she will never know.
Speaking of, she looks over to the team principal who is watching the race with a stony expression. He is hard to read especially with such split results. She wants to smack him, hard, but she breathes instead.
"Come on Kimi." She whispers to herself.
"Bono, what am I doing?" Kimis voice crackles over the radio.
"Just drive, you're three seconds off from the car in front, two point three to the car behind. Head down, keep going." Bono instructs.
He seems to know there isn't much that can be salvaged in such a short amount of laps so just holding position is the best they can do.
"Ok." Kimi says quietly.
Carmen's heart breaks, he needs a break, another podium or something, anything good. They don't hear more from him, not until the checkered flag is waved, George in P4, and Kimi pulling up P13. Kimi pulls in and parks, taking his helmet off, handing it off to someone in Mercedes kit, he doesn't care who and heads over to the media pen, avoiding George.
"Hey Ollie." Kimi mutters as his friend slides up next to him.
"Hey, good race." Ollie smiles.
P14 for him, not great but unfortunately average for him.
"I guess." Kimi sighs.
Ollie smiles sympathetically at him, knowing this is not what he wanted but he was trying to lighten the mood. Being a rookie is hard, it's just especially hard when you're in a top team with a one year contract.
"Kimi!" George calls, jogging after the pair.
Kimi looks over his shoulder then turns back. He's going to drop if he's with George, he knows that for a fact and he can't let that happen.
"Sweetheart look at me." George catches him.
Kimi turns around, trying to hold his tears.
"Hey, I'm sorry honey. Things will get better, I promise." George says softly.
"George, I... I can't right now. Can we talk later or something?" Kimi says, looking at the ground.
"Yeah, yeah sure. Sorry I didn't mean to..." George trails off, looking for words.
"It's fine, I'll just — I'll see you later." Kimi says, backing away to join Ollie again.
George sighs and kicks at pebbles on the ground. George knows he's been upset and stressed recently, with the end of the season approaching and no new contract yet. He feels the same so he understands but Kimi has been so much more stressed.
George watches both rookies go then he feels a hand on his shoulder.
"You alright?" Lando asks.
"Yeah, just worried about Kimi." George sighs.
"He's upset?" Lando guesses.
"Yeah but he doesn't want me to help him right now." George says.
Lando makes a sympathetic sound, gently pushing George along into the media pen.
Kimi glances at him as he talks to a reporter, a mostly blank expression. He's trying not to let the tears he's holding back fall, George can tell, he knows that look. But Kimi made it very clear, he's not ready to talk so George crosses with Lando to the other side of the pen, meeting his handler and talking to a reporter.
—
"Kimi, so sorry about the race again today." The new reporter starts.
He's getting pretty tired of hearing how sorry people are, he doesn't need anyone's pity.
"Kimi?" She asks, tilting her head behind the camera.
"Sorry, what did you say?" He asks, snapping back to reality.
"Do you think with recent results the team will be considering a different direction in terms of their driver line up?" She asks.
Kimi pauses, mouth somewhat a gap because he's honestly not sure how to respond to that, or if he even heard it right.
"I'm — I'm sorry?" He ask his voice getting high pitched.
"Do you think the team will take a new direction?" She asks again.
Ok, yeah so he did hear her right. Great, how the fuck is he supposed to answer that? He looks across to George, wishing he could run and hide in the man's chest, not answer this question, not have to worry about contract negotiation or let his team down anymore. And now he's crying, small tears falling from his eyes.
"Kimi?" The reporter asks again.
"I-I'm sorry. I don't think I should answer that." Kimi says, trying to sound like an adult.
"Are you sure, I'm sure you could try." She says.
Kimi is convinced now that this is just her being cruel, that smile no longer feels like something he's reading into, it looks mean. His headspace creeps up on him, and he wants his mama to hold him, or his dada to give him a bottle. He wants to be rocked in a rocking chair or fall asleep between the both of them.
"Sorry, Kimi will not be answering that. Please ask something else or we will move on." His media manager intervenes.
She can see how close he is to tears, and regressing. The team knows now, of course they do, and they are great about keeping him and his classification safe.
The reporter rolls her eyes and scoffs.
"It's not that hard of a question." She says, covering her closest microphone.
"Ok, great, thank you for your time. Kimi, you're free to leave." His manager dismisses him.
He turns and stares at her with watery eyes. She breaks inside but keeps her professionalism.
With a hand on the small of Kimis back, she leads him out while he fights back the tears. On the way she nods to Georges manager, a silent communication then leaves.
"It's going to be ok, we'll go find Carmen. You're not in trouble, that reporter was being rude." She comforts.
Kimi nods, sucking in a very unsteady breath.
Carmen had been watching the live feed with Bono of the media pen, saw the shift as that reporter got mean and excused herself to meet them outside. Kimi looks up and more tears fall from his eyes. He quickly rushes forward and she pulls him inside then picks him.
"Mama!" Kimi cries, grabbing tight to her shirt.
His body shakes with sobs, holding on tight to Carmen as she rocks him. Some people in the common areas watch as Carmen tries to comfort him and she would love to flip all of them off, tell them to mind their business, but she supposes this is in fact the common area.
"Is he alright?" Toto asks cautiously, approaching hastily.
"No, he's stressed because it was a hard race and you refuse to give him a new contract yet." Carmen quips.
He deserves it, she is not his biggest fan at the moment. By the look on his face he knows it.
"'M sorry!" Kimi cries. "Trying so hard, jus' not working!"
It doesn't sound quite right, a little slurred with his headspace and thickened accent.
"I know angel, you're doing your best." Carmen comforts first, shooting a steely glare at Toto.
"Please!" It sounds hoarse. "Please 'm trying!"
"I know you are." Toto says.
"Jus' wanna drive, please!" Kimi sobs.
Carmen is trying not to cry herself, switching from rocking to swaying. Just as Toto opens his mouth to say something, George bursts in, just being let off of his media duties to come help deal with the situation.
"Dada!" Kimi wails.
"Oh sweetheart." George sighs, taking Kimi into his arms.
The littles hands find their way under George's shirt and he calms just a little.
"Please, please, please. Jus' wanna drive, please tell 'em." Kimi pleads.
George clings to Kimi a little tighter and looks up to his boss. He looks like a deer in headlight.
"It's ok, sweetheart, you can drive, there is still time." George says, still staring head on at Toto.
"Please." Kimi whimpers.
"It will be alright, you will be just fine." George whispers.
"Do something good." Carmen whispers to Toto, bite to her words.
He nods at her, a little intimidated.
"Come on darling, we should get him changed and go home." She then says to George.
He nods and they head upstairs, Kimi still silently crying on his shoulder, but calming with the feeling of his warm skin under his hands.
"You're a good driver, sweetheart, we're so proud of you." George whispers, placing soft kisses next to Kimis ear.
Kimi exhales shakily, tears falling and soaking into the fabric of George's shirt.
Carmen lets them in to Kimis room, grabbing his diaper bag and pulling out a change of clothes.
"I'm just going to set you down so you can change. We're not leaving you." George explains.
Kimi whimpers, trying not to let go as George sets him down.
"Hey baby, look at me. Can you do that love, look at mama." Carmen calls softly for him.
Kimi looks up to her, hiccuping and reaching up to rub his eyes.
"Such a good boy. You are so good love, and we are going to be fast now. But remember, you are going to be ok, and you will keep driving, I just know it." Carmen says.
She slips Kimis pacifier into his mouth, the one with his initials and number on it as it is his favourite. He hiccups again, Carmen wipes his tears away, then she gets him out of his sweaty race suit.
"I'm going to go change super quick." George says.
"Ok, we'll be here." Carmen says.
George nods and steps out of the room to change and pack up.
Carmen gets Kimi diapered, putting him in soft sweats, one of George's hoodies going over his head, an extra comfort.
"Good boy, mama loved you so much." She coos, lifting Kimi back to her chest.
"Love mama." Kimi mumbles past his pacifier.
"You're a good driver." She adds.
Kimi cries softly, shoving his head in her shoulder. She coos softly, playing with his curls, soothing him best she can while they are still on track.
"Ready to go?" George asks when he comes back in.
"Yeah, let's get out of here." Carmen agrees.
George holds the door for them letting Carmen step into the hall with Kimi in her arms. He shuts the door behind them and guides them discreetly to the car.
—
George unlocks the door to their hotel room, letting himself and Carmen in, Kimi is almost asleep in her arms. Carmen had to sit in the backseat with Kimi, he started to cry again whenever she tried to let go of his hand. He hasn't truly stopped yet, silent tears making his cheeks rosy pink. Carmen continues to wipe them away with her thumb, cooing softly to him, trying desperately to make him feel better.
"Alright, let's get you in pjs and a bottle, then I think it should be bedtime." George suggests.
"Please." Kimi rasps, his throat hoarse from crying.
"Aww baby, everything will work out." Carmen sighs softly. "I'll get him dressed." She adds.
"I'll meet you with a bottle." George says.
She nods, kissing George quickly and taking Kimi over to their bed. That's where he's going to end up sleeping tonight anyway. She gets Fiffi for him, slotting the giraffe in Kimis arms then getting a legless onesie.
Kimi lets her move him around, holding tight to Fiffi until he's all dressed.
"Ok, go see dada for your bottle." Carmen coos.
"Hi sweetheart." George coos, pulling Kimis pacifier out and replacing it with the bottle.
Kimi holds on for half of the bottle before falling asleep curled up in George's arms, tears streaking his face.